#it takes my dad 30 seconds to fall asleep. he complained to me the other day that it took him 15 mins like ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!

[toastsnaffler]

I do literally everything my phone is off for hours before bed + I'm active and eating well during the day I'm reading + meditating to wind down + going to bed at a sensible time + my room is comfortable and dark and the right temperature and literally everything else I know every fucking trick in the book im doing them all I promise and i still cant fucking sleep. what does it want.

[redbleedingrose]

Girl Dad!Eris when the Babes are Sick Headcanons

A/N: I was harassing @augustinerose with all my girl dad!Eris thoughts today, so I thought I would expand and share with you all, and maybe go into what the newborn stage was like for you and girl dad!Eris if y’all would like. And then maybe even what it was like postpartum with Girl Dad!Eris supporting you every step of the way.

Sigh, I am in love with the male!!! Send freaking help!!!!!!

During toddlerhood, when one of the girls is sick, the other babe is also feeling crummy :(

They are absolutely gonna climb outta their small beds and hold each others hands walking from their room to your door at the end of the hall, their guard dog following them on their heels and standing closely behind them. It is usually precious Twila who uses her small chubby fist to knock on the door, barely making any noise, but enough that the pups laying at the foot of our bed will come and see what's going on first.

Eris wakes up so fast, he is sucha light sleeper at a baseline that the slightest noise has his eyes snapping open. You, on the other hand, would stay passed out cuz its 3:30 in the morning, and also, you are incredibly warm and comfortable with Eris in bed. You feel utterly at ease and protected with Eris, so as the years went on, your sleeping has become heavier. Eris often teases you for snoring, like the smug bastard he is because he sleeps like the dead with at least one hand resting somewhere on your body.

Anyway, by the time the girls are poking their very curly, messy, bedheads beyond the door to peer inside your room, Er is already halfway to the door to see what they need. When they are feeling sick, all they wanna do is cuddle up to mama and papa and each other in your huge bed, and Eris has no qualms pressing soft, gentle kisses onto their warm foreheads and scooping them up into his arms, resting both of them on each hip before bringing them to your bed.

Marwa usually snuggles with you, ever the mamas girl, and Twila, ever the papas girl, will snuggle in with her papa. Don’t get me wrong, Marwa shoves at least one foot into Eris' side, her tiny toe nails digging into his rib cage, probably to feel his warmth, because she too, just like her mama, and gets overheated way too fast. It doesn't matter cause regardless, she will press her entire body up into yours, practically climbing on top of you while you sleep and shoves her face into your neck before passing out.

Marwa will pass out soooo fast, but Twila, our chatty little girl (maybe less so when she is sick), will babble quietly though not as quickly as usual, to her papa who is exhausted but will quietly hum and nod along to his babes ramblings while rubbing her back and stroking/brushing through her messy hair with his warm fingers until she falls asleep against his chest. And only then, when his girls are comfortably asleep, with one tiny foot digging into his side and a toddler resting on his chest, one of his hands tucked underneath your head (that is extremely numb though he will never ever complain about it) acting as your pillow, will he let himself go back to sleep.

He would obviously be the first to wake up in the morning, being high lord has trained his body to wake up at around sunrise. Before you and your babes, he would be up and out of bed within seconds of waking up, anxious to start his day to avoid the scrutiny and abuse of his father. After becoming high lord, after you coming into his life and giving him the best thing that has ever happened to him (that being your love and your children), he tries to stay in bed for at least half an hour to soak in the warmth and peace. He adores listening to your soft snores, and whenever the girls join you in bed, he cannot get enough of the small huffs and puffs of Marwa and Twila while they snooze away.

He shifts Twila into your side so he can get up, but you better believe that if his babes aren’t feeling well, he is going to be the one taking care of them alongside you. He would never let you feel alone in parenting, never make you feel like you are with a male who is incompetent in taking care of his girls.

The first thing he would do, is really only a secret between you and him. But he does have a morning cigarette to ease his nerves. It is a horrible habit he picked up during his teenage years, and after centuries of using it as a coping mechanism, he hasn’t been able to fully quit. You know he does it, and while you encourage him to stop, you recognize that he used to chain smoke, one cigarette trapped between his pretty lips after the other. The fact he only needs one in the morning to get him through the day, he finds quite unbelievable. It is another thing that he credits to you, another reason that he marvels at you.

Plus you cannot deny how hot Er looks while leaning against the balcony railing, shirtless with a cigarette held in his mouth . The hazy look in his hooded eyes, the smoke blowing out of his nose after a deep inhale, the way his entire body relaxes against the crisp autumn air. He is a sight to behold, so you can let one cigarette go. Knowing Er, he is probably gonna quit before the babes are old enough to realize he does smoke.

Anyway, moving on, after his morning routines of his cigarette, a 15 minute cold shower, mouth smelling minty fresh, and dressed in the most immaculate grey sweatpants and white long sleeve (that does nothing to hide his broad chest and toned arms (the slut knows what he is doing smh)), he is headed to the kitchen to cook you all up some breakfast. Usually, this is around the time that you join him, hugging him from behind and pressing kisses into the space between his shoulders while he leans back into you, but you are in bed with the babes, which means it will be nearly impossible for you to escape without one of them noticing, so he remains in the solace of the empty kitchen.

Because the girls are feeling crummy, I think Er would focus on making a warm maple and cinnamon flavored oatmeal for them and herbs steeping in the warm spring water that he will put into their sippy cups for them to use. Then he focuses on making you some breakfast. He knows you usually don’t each much in the morning anyway, so he makes for the both of you, a couple of pieces of honey and cream toast that you will share, and two cups spiced cardamom chai on the side.

He would wanna spend the day with you and the babes, especially if they aren’t feeling to good. Most of the day is probably going to be spent in your bed, and to be honest, those are Eris’ favorite kinds of days. The girls love to snuggle up next to you both and take naps intermittently throughout the day, and the times they are awake are spent reading books to them, playing games like “I-spy” while they peer out your balcony with their big curious eyes, and also just listening to their babbles and rants.

They are very opinionated girls, and they are happy to share with their papa that they think Forest House should be painted pink and purple, and all the curtains should be changed to a daisy yellow color to make your home look more inviting and “princessy.”

He would probs do it too, make Forest House into a doll house for his perfect little babes, but your amused nods, your cooing and giggling as they prattle on about making sure the carpets are yellow to match the curtains has him nearly certain your babes interior designer skills are too top tier for you. Though, he might be able to convince you to change up their play room decor.

Ugh and he just lives for when you are asleep with the babes, he spends hours watching over you three, thanking the gods and mother that he was blessed with such a beautiful, elegant mate who is the perfect mom, thanking the cauldron for his perfect babes, and honestly, praying for time to stop so that he can live in that moment forever, in pure happiness and peace.

[fandomsonrequests]

dad!ateez: your instincts kick in this time

reader is female. kind of a second part to this but not really..? it could be read as a second part requested by an anon, i hope you enjoy it!

taglist: @ddeonghwva​

Hongjoong: 

You wake up to an empty bed and a loud clang in the kitchen. You reach over to the lamp beside you, blearily blinking away the sleep in your eyes as your ears pick up various giggling in the hallway. The digital clock beside the lamp read 2:30 am. It took you a couple of seconds to realize what was happening before you were jumping out of bed and storming towards the kitchen.

“Kim Hongjoong and Kim Junseo,” You grumble as you appear in the kitchen doorway. 

The two loves of your life stopped what they were doing- which was currently mixing some espresso with a shot of some energy drink. You knew what this meant- your husband had no plan of sleeping yet and your son thought it would be a good idea to go along. But you, of course, weren’t having it.

“It was daddy’s idea,” The little boy said and pointed to his father the minute he saw your unamused expression.

“Yah, don’t sell me out like that-” 

“It’s two-thirty in the morning. Go to sleep,” You lifted your finger before they could protest. “You need sleep, you’re still growing.” You tell your son before facing your husband. “And you, have been working overtime. Come on now misters- off to bed.”

The father and son pair decided to follow before you push them into bed. But as Junseo hops off the counter, he knocks the glass of espresso-energy drink cocktail down to the ground. Your body moved on its own accord before you could realize what happened, and grabbed the glass, spilling some of the content on the floor.

“Go to bed, I’ll clean this up.” You say when you come to your senses. “And please for the love of God, no more staying up.”

Seonghwa: 

It was a sunny day in the amusement park. You, Seonghwa, and Hyojin were by the large slides. And of course, Seonghwa was taking pictures of his two beautiful models, whether candid or planned. 

“Again, again!” Hyonjin cheered when she reached the end of the slide, standing up and clapping her hands. “But let’s do the big ones!”

“Are you sure you can handle that sweetie?” Your husband asks her as he helps her off the slide, fixing her little dress and the bow in her hair. He smiles when she nods and tugs on his and your hands to lead you to the slide she wanted. 

She had definitely gotten this enthusiasm from you. She was always so ready to jump into things and try them, even if it seemed scary. He always called her his brave little princess for that. Sometimes he feels like he’d get a heart attack from what she does but as long as he or you was there, it was fine. 

You and Seonghwa stay at the end of the slide and wave up to her when she reaches the top. She waves back energetically before sitting on the small mat that was given to her to help go down the rather enormous slide. As Hyonjin scoots forward, she lets out an excited holler, her long tresses flowing behind her as she zooms down towards you. 

Unfortunately, she tried to slow down her descent by sticking her feet to the sides. And of course, by the law of inertia, the sudden stop makes her fly forward. Her face could have planted into the ground if you hadn’t jumped forward and caught her in your arms. 

You both tumbled to the ground and Seonghwa immediately rushes over to you, ushering his two princesses to the side. “Are you two okay?” He says as he looks over the both of you. 

Hyonjin, oblivious as ever, only nodded. “Mommy caught me so I’m okay.” 

“I’m a little shaken,” You admit but the smile never leaves your face. “Maybe a kiss from my prince and my baby would help me feel better.”

Hyonjin only giggled and placed a big, wet kiss on your cheek. You chuckled at the ticklish feeling before Seonghwa cups your chin, gently turning your head to face him. He lovingly strokes your cheek before leaning in to press a short but sweet peck to your lips. 

Yunho:

“Daddy look, it’s uncle Mingi!” Eun-jung, now nine years old, said from her spot on her father’s shoulder. 

Yunho laughs as she indicates the giraffe in front of them. “Oh yeah, it does look like him.” He mused and handed her a short branch of leaves for her to feed to the creature.

Yunho turns to you while you were busy entertaining your son, Eun-sang. He was now three years old and can hold a conversation with people. It felt like only yesterday when his son was just born and his sister was begging to hold him. 

“You enjoying the giraffes buddy?” Yunho asks his son.

“Mhmm! I wanna see something ewls too.” Eun-sang says. 

“I’ll take him to see the koalas,” You tell Yunho. “Don’t give daddy a hard time, Eun-jung!” 

“I won’t mommy,” She promises and waves goodbye to you.

You adjusted your hold on your son, lifting him up further, and started to walk to where the koala enclosure was. The two of you were so wrapped up in your conversation that you didn’t notice a couple of children running in your direction. Yunho’s eyes widened, realizing that the kids could barrel into you, making you fall.

“______, watch out!”

You turn at his voice, seeing the kids rushing at you. You jump to the side but you lose your footing, making you tumble to the ground. Your son grasps onto you but you swerve and fall onto your knees so that you don’t crush him under you. He looks up at you, wondering what had happened. “You okay mommy?” He asks and puts his small hand on your cheek

Your husband rushes to you, your daughter following alongside him and checking up on the both of you. Eun-jung, being the hands on older sister she was, took her brother from you while Yunho helped you up. “God, that was terrifying.” He admits and helps you brush off the dirt on your clothes. “But that was quick of you babe.” 

“Mommy has Spider-Man refwekses.” Eun-sang giggles and you smirk up at your husband. 

“HAH, I told you I had them too.”

Yeosang:

You cooed down to your daughter, Haneul, as she lay on her back on the changing table. She smiles up at you, hands outstretched as you cleaned her up and started changing her diaper. You handed her the chicken stick rattle that Yeosang gave her the month she could start holding things to distract her.

“Oh, that’s stinky!” Ji-ho complains as he passes by his little sister’s room, dragging his toy behind him. 

“You’ll be on diaper changing duty one day, mister!” You call out to your son in amusement as you finish up. 

You only chuckle to yourself when he protests, making you shake your head. You hum to yourself as you throw away all the used materials. “Where’s her shorts?” You ask yourself and momentarily turn away to get it.

But what you didn’t realize was that Haneul grew bored of her rattle and became impatient of just laying there. She cooed as she started to roll over, thinking that it was just another flat surface to crawl all over. The second she fell off the edge of the changing table was the second you turned back around to put it on her.

Your eyes widened and it felt like the whole world slowed down. You lunged forward and caught your baby in time before she could hit the ground. The force of the impact made her cry, causing you to snap out of your stupor. You cradle her to you, gently hushing her and leaning her head against your shoulder. 

“It’s okay baby, mommy’s here,” You coo to her and pull away to kiss her head. “You’re such a little troublemaker aren’t you?”

San:

The sounds of giggles floated around the kitchen along with the clanging of cupboards. It was currently eight-thirty in the evening in the Choi household. Nari and Sooyun, both four and nine years old respectively, were in the kitchen, sneaking cookies from the cookie jar after managing to slip past their babysitter who was watching tv in the living room. 

They were supposed to be asleep in their shared room and for a while they were. That was until the coast was clear and their babysitter returned to the living room. That meant to wake up from their fake sleep, grab some goodies from the kitchen, and head back into the room to snack on it. 

Nari and Sooyun were now in their room, mouth, and teeth covered in chocolate while their little plastic cups were filled with strawberry milk. They giggled to themselves, high on success after sneaking past their babysitter. But that joy was short-lived when they heard the familiar rumble of the car’s engine in the driveway. 

“Quick Nari!” Sooyun urges her sister and the two girls quickly cleaned up and disposed of their trash. They hastily taped the plastic bag full of Kisses Chocolates, thinking their parents wouldn’t find out, threw it in the fridge, and jumped into bed. The oldest girl turned off the lights and made sure things were in order before sleeping. 

You and San come to check on your two angels after your little date night. But as soon you walked into the room, you knew something was off. You spot the little crumbs by the foot of Sooyun’s bed and the pink plastic cup that she had hastily shoved under it. You shake your head in amusement, walking over to pick it up as your husband kissed the two girls’ foreheads.

“Why do you have that?” San asks when he sees you with the cup. You say nothing, but nod your head towards your daughters. It took him a couple of seconds before he realized what had happened and he nodded in understanding. 

“Oh well, I guess we won’t be going to the ice cream parlor tomorrow,” San sighs loudly, seeing the girls tense under their blankets. “I guess you and I will be the only ones to go. What do you say _____-”

“We’re sorry mommy!” Nari said, the first to cave in. She was sniffling as tears threatened to fall down her round cheeks. “Please take us to ice cream!”

Mingi:

You chuckle as Young-soo bounces on the mattress, cupping his dad’s cheeks when his father leans over him. Mingi settles his son in the middle of the mattress again while you stay on the other side, ready to catch him in the next few seconds. Your husband flops down onto the edge of the mattress, making the two-year-old boy fly up in the air and squeal in delight. 

“Hold on, I have to head to the bathroom,” You say as you get up. 

“Don’t take too long babe,” Mingi says as he pulls his son towards him and tickles his stomach.

You assure him and jog to the bathroom, leaving the two boys alone. For a while, Mingi entertains Young-soo by blowing raspberries into his stomach or cheeks and by tickling his sides. Joyous giggles fill the air but the boy soon grows bored of just being tickled. 

“Up, up!” He tells his dad, shaking the man’s much larger hand. 

“Let’s wait for mommy bud, it’s not safe.” He tells his son. The boy, sensing that he didn’t get what he wanted, started to burst into tears. Mingi cringes at the sound, trying his best to hush him. Eventually, he caves in when none of his attempts seem to work. 

“Alright, alright. Just this once. But don’t tell your mom.” He says as he settles his son on the center of the mattress again. 

Once more, he launches his son into the air but the little boy twists, making him go off course. And he would’ve fallen to the floor if you didn’t enter in time to catch him. You grab Young-soo by the arm and leg and pull him to you. “Oh my God- Song Mingi.”

“Baby he wanted it!” He tried to protest, only to see his son make a funny face at him. 

Wooyoung:

“Good job kiddo,” Wooyoung says as he pats his son’s head.

Minjoon beams proudly up at his father, continuing with mixing the batter for their little cake meant for you. He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he took after his father’s cooking skills- in fact he always made sure to mention it to his friends. And because he wanted to level up his skills to be on par with his dad’s he always made sure to practice whenever he could. 

Minjoon hums as he rocks back and forth on the bar stool behind the counter. Wooyoung hears the creaking noise of the chair’s wood and reaches out to still his son’s actions. He didn’t want to have the high chair incident repeat again. 

“You can’t sit still, now can you buddy?” The man teases his son, only to receive a pout. 

“I’m not going to fall dad,” Minjoon argues but follows nonetheless. He only pouted more when his dad ruffled his hair and went back to what he was doing. 

Eventually the two fell into routine again, exchanging some father-son banter and helping each other around the kitchen. The two grew focused on what they were doing that Wooyoung didn’t notice that his son started to rock back and forth on the seat again.

You walk into the kitchen a little later, a gentle smile on your face. You were about to ask what the two were doing when Minjoon tilts a little too backward, making the chair tip over in that direction. You drop whatever you were holding at that moment and rush to catch him. 

Your son falls with a choked yell, landing into your arms as you both topple to the floor from the impact. Wooyoung ran from his spot by the stove, turning it to low heat first- you didn’t want a fire to start, and over to you. “What happened??”

You look up from your spot on the floor, your arms protectively wrapped around Minjoon. “The little rascal fell,” You breathed. You look down to your son and kiss his hair, letting out a relieved chuckle. “You have got to stop doing that, buddy.” 

Jongho: 

One of the perks of being an active family is that the kids are always entertained and you get to have fun at the same time. Exercise is just a bonus. Right now, you were in this bouncy house/parkour gym for people of all ages- a treat for your kids who managed to get high grades in class. 

As of now, your twins were by a small area where some short wire-lines were set up for the zipline. It was the type of zipline where you hang by your hands, allowing you to jump into the pit filled with soft blue blocks. Jongho was on top with your son, Young-min, while you and your daughter, Young-soon, were at the foot of the zipline, cheering him on. 

“Come on Young-min! You got this!” She encourages as she bounced around. She was always the more daring one between the two of them. 

Jongho knelt by his son, cupping the back of his head. “You ready bud?” He asks gently.

The boy only nodded, both excitement and nerves filling his system. He brushes his sweaty palms against his pants and releases a curt sigh. His fingers then curled around the bars that the gym worker handed him, bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

“You don’t have to do it if you’re scared-”

“No, dad-” Young-min answers firmly. “I got this.”

He exhales and pushes off, feeling the wind whip against his face as he zipped down. He could faintly hear his sister’s cheers as he raced to the bottom. Unfortunately, he doesn't let go on time. So when he hits the metal stopper at the bottom of the zipline, the force of the impact causes him to launch forward, throwing him out of his hold on the zipline and away from the safety pit below. 

You instinctively reached out, your body reacting before you could register what was happening, and pulled him towards you; you’ve practically saved him from potentially face planting into the ground. He looks shaken up when you help him to the ground, eyes wide with adrenaline. 

“Are you okay?” You ask him, a bit worriedly, as you look over him for any pulled muscles. 

All anxiety melts away when he beams widley and throws his hand up in the air. “AGAIN!” 

[shinichirosbabymama]

Can you do headcannons for Levi x reader where he finds out his s/o is pregnant and how he is finding out, and during the pregnancy and birth? Thank you!

Ugh yes!! I think I'm getting old because thinking about Levi as a dad makes me simp even more than I already do for him 😩💞 like pls be my baby daddy

**********************************************

Finding Out

- There's two very different ways this could go depending on whether the pregnancy is planned or unplanned.

- Planned: As Levi is super organised and would likely be planning the optimum times for you to have sex from the moment you start trying, he would probably be able to predict that you might be pregnant quicker than you can.

- He would badger you with questions constantly. 'Do you feel sick? Does this smell bad to you? Do your boobs hurt?'

- It would get on your nerves a bit but you would keep your mouth shut, not wanting to get his hopes up until you had a positive test. You would be so happy to tell him once the test was confirmed, knowing that you can give him what he wants so badly.

- You'd sit him down and tell him calmly over a cup of tea. He would be stunned to silence for a few seconds.

- 'Are you sure?' 'I'm sure, Levi.'

- You'd be blessed with one of those (rare) smiles. I think he would be quite self-conscious about his own reaction - don't expect tears and jumping for joy - but you know inside he's processing a complicated mix of joy and fear so you give him the space he needs. He's quiet for a few hours but when you fall asleep that night, he keeps an arm firmly wrapped around your lower abdomen, Ackerman instinct already in overdrive for the life inside you.

- Unplanned: Telling Levi you've unexpectedly fallen pregnant would be terrifying. You love him dearly and this will inevitably change your relationship - you have no idea if for better or worse.

- You would agonize over the right way to tell him for ages. Eventually you realise there's not truly any right way and it just comes out when he's probing you about your 'off' behaviour.

- Levi would absolutely be caught off guard by the revelation. He's not stupid but it's genuinely the last thing he would have considered when trying to work out why you've been acting so weird. He's got a great wit but this leaves him absolutely speechless.

- 'Look, I'm pregnant.' Cue silence for like a whole ass minute before you get frustrated.

- 'Can you please just say something?' 'What do you want me to say?' And like damn, that makes you so angry because you rehearsed this conversation in your head so many times and he's not sticking to the script.

- It's way too hard for you to deal with in your vulnerable state and you bail out of there to cool off. I think realistically Levi would need a few days to get his head together and you would probably be panicking that he's ghosted you.

- Eventually he would come to find you. He's told himself not to be too business-like about this because he feels very strongly for you but he still wants to be firm about what he wants.

- You let him speak and he lays it all out on the table. 'I want to raise this child with you.' 'I want us to live together.' 'I want us to be a...family.' that last one is the hardest part to say and it makes his chest hurt to say it - he thinks about how hard it must have been for his own mom doing it all alone and how his family was taken from him.

- You're pretty shocked by it all. You didn't expect him to be callous or anything but you thought he would be less accepting and would want you to 'handle it' somehow.

- At the end of his plan, he asks you if you accept and you just nod at him. Then he suddenly leans in and you wonder wtf he's about to do because it's very out of character for him to initiate a kiss outside of anything sexual but he needs a big gesture to show he's serious about all this. So he kisses you and it's tender and warm and you think things might not be so terrible after all.

During Pregnancy

- Hormones are evil and are one snarky bitch throughout the whole thing and Levi learns new levels of patience (probably a good thing since he's about to have a kid)

- Pregnancy fucks with his Ackerman instinct majorly too and he's even more protective than usual. Most of the time you appreciate it but it gets old when he won't let you out of his sight for anything. You can't even lift a plate without him darting to your side and trying to snatch it from your hands.

- 'Idiot. You're pregnant - let me do that.' He scolds you only for you to respond 'Pregnancy is not a disability moron and don't call me an idiot.'

- Despite being his usual but over protective self around others, he's surprisingly soft when it's just the two of you. He gently massages and kneads your back when it aches and rubs your feet when they swell up.

- He's happy to talk to your bump - he agrees that the baby needs to get used to his voice but he absolutely refuses to use cute baby speak.

- 'Let mom sleep little brat.' He grumbles in the middle of the night as he strokes your stomach.

- Levi is very OTT when it comes to baby proofing your house. You've still got a month left and there is not a corner, plug socket, or sharp object in the house.

- 'They won't even be crawling for six months you are so extra.' You roll your eyes one day watching him testing the bookcase against the wall. 'We need to get into the habit now.' He argues back and you think dork.

- Levi Ackerman says fuck toxic masculinity. Preparing for this baby is 50/50 every step of the way. Well in reality more like 30/70 - you learn that he's insanely bossy when it comes to picking out their clothes, toys, prams.

- 'Disgusting.' He scowls one day at a tiny hat you show him. 'Levi it's a baby it won't know the concept of disgusting.' 'No child of mine will be seen in that.'

- You decide to wait on the baby's sex until it's born. You prefer to have a surprise whereas Levi literally does not care about whether it's a boy or a girl. For now, it's just known affectionately as the brat.

During Birth

- You try to it but goddam you are terrified - of the pain, the gore, the huge amount of change your lives are about to go through.

- Levi is calm and collected as always. He knows the risks. He's researched and sourced the best medical team he can access and is confident it'll go to plan.

- He's surprisingly sympathetic during the birth - the pain that you feel is reflected in the grimace on his face as you squeeze the life out of his hand. He keeps himself occupied, mopping your sweaty brow as you thrash around. It kills him to see you like this but he focuses on the end goal and how much joy it's about to bring you.

- No matter how people try to sell it to you - the pain is bad, possibly the worse ever. You swear bloody murder at everyone, Levi included, the whole time and he just takes it.

- 'I hate you for making me go through this you bastard. We are never doing this again.' 'Yes love.' He responds, stroking your hand as you grit your teeth.

- The only time you see his resolve start to crack is right at the end. He's even paler than usual as he watches the baby being delivered. You're slightly concerned that he might vomit/pass out/start screaming but he keeps it together enough to take the bundle passed to him. Not even complaining that the tiny life in his hands is covered in blood and mucus.

- Levi passes him (a boy!!) to you almost immediately, not trusting him not to drop the poor thing as he feels dizzy. You take him on your chest, letting a few tears fall as you stroke the mop of jet black hair on his head.

- 'He's beautiful.' You cry, looking at his tiny fingernails as the baby whimpers quietly at his new harsh environment. 'He is.' Levi mumbles in response and presses a kiss to your head. You know he's hiding his face on purpose - eyes misty and trembling. You get it, he's at his most vulnerable, and the two of you enjoy a quiet moment together just observing the life you've created.

[cocastyle]

Robin — Prologue

Pairing - Joel Dawson x reader

Word Count - 2,756

A/N - and here is the prologue! this series is going to be so much fun and I hope everyone enjoys it as much as me! comment how you think it’s going so far and any theories you think may happen during the series!

if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

R O B I N

Robin Series Masterlist

⭒❃.✮:▹   PROLOGUE   ◃:✮.❃⭒

"I didn't really have your typical upbringing. I mean, I did at first, but then the world ended. I mean, I don't think anyone was really shocked. We always thought it might, and then it just finally happened. But how it happened, now that's where it gets interesting."

"Agatha 616."

"Hey! I wanted to be the one to say that. You totally just stole my thunder, Robin. As disappointing as that just was, she's right. Yep, an asteroid heading straight for Earth. I know. So obvious. So, humanity came together, and we did what we do best."

"We shot a bunch of rockets at it!"

"And we blew it up! And it was great!"

"But it wasn't."

"Once again, she's right. You see, the thing that makes rockets rockets. . .chemical compounds, a lot of 'em. Which rained back down on us, and everything changed."

"And by 'everything,' he means cold-blooded creatures. And by 'changed,' he means mutated and started eating us to death."

"Ants, lizards, roaches, crocodiles. You name it. There's a lot of 'em. Actually, we knew this one kid who was eaten in his sleep by a goldfish he won at a carnival."

"Poor Todd."

"He loved that goldfish."

"And that cat of his that got eaten."

"Rest in piece, buddy. So, for most of human history, if you wanted to kill a cockroach, right, all you needed was a shoe. Well, suddenly you needed a shotgun. And sometimes even a tank. And sometimes even that doesn't work. Especially if you don't stay in the tank, Bob."

"Bob?"

"I was just saying a random name. I don't know if his name is actually Bob."

"Then why—?"

"Y/N."

"Right. Your speech, not mine. Sorry."

"Eventually, the really big creatures and our military took each other out. We lost 95% of the human population in about a year. That's a lot of Bobs."

"And a lot of Todds."

"Exactly. Those of us who survived we hid anywhere we could — bunkers, caves, panic rooms, all around the world. So for the last seven years Y/N and I have been living in an underground bunker. And it's not as bad as it sounds. Really. It's a great group of people, and we all love each other. You know, it's kinda what I imagined college would have been like."

"Definitely not, but believe what you want. Anyways, like Joel said, we've been living in an underground bunker for the past seven years. It's not always been the best at times, but we do what we need to in order to survive. But for you to understand our story, we need to go back to the beginning. . .to the day it all happened."

"Seven years ago, back when we were sixteen."

- - -

Seven Years Ago

Fairfield, California

The last thing Y/N wanted was to wake up at 5:30 on a summer morning, yet that was exactly what happened on the day the world ended. The annoying beeping sounds filling the air were all Y/N could focus on as she came to, her eyes squeezing shut as she groaned in annoyance and shoved her face into the pillow she was laying on.

She lazily shot her hand out and attempted to reach for her alarm clock, but hesitated when her hand hit what she knew to be the lamp that sat on the table in her living room. Y/N let out a sigh before slowly opening her eyes and looking around. It took a moment for her to realize what was happening, but once she saw the tv that was still on, the pizza box laying on the table with only one slice left, and the figure beside her on the couch Y/N knew what had happened.

Groaning as she looked towards her best friend Joel Dawson who had passed out on the couch beside her, the girl lifted up a pillow before saying, "Joel. Joel, wake up." The boy didn't respond, the only noise escaping his lips being the sound of his own snores. His watch was beeping on his arm, but he didn't seem to be fazed by it.

Y/N frowned before taking the pillow she had picked up and whacking Joel with it. The boy jumped in surprise and fell off the couch and onto the floor. Y/N fell back with a satisfied sigh while Joel groaned on the ground.

"What was that for?" Joel complained, lazily sitting up and rubbing at his eyes while the two looked tiredly at each other.

"Shut that stupid watch up before I do it myself," Y/N murmured. "And by 'do it myself' I mean I'm going to destroy that little fucker so it can never beep again."

Joel cracked a small smile at that before looking down at his watch and turning it off. His eyes flickered over the time and he frowned. "It's 5:30 in the morning? Wasn't it just midnight?" he asked.

"I think we fell asleep during the middle of Civil War. That's what we get for trying to watch all the Marvel movies in a row with no sleep," she said with a yawn as she closed her eyes once again.

"We were behind anyways," Joel pointed out as he pulled himself up off of the ground and back onto the couch so that he could put on his shoes. "We wouldn't have finished before I had to leave. Speaking of which, I've got to go. Aimee should be picking me up soon and I smell like pizza and tears."

"It's not my fault you cry during almost every movie," Y/N retorted.

"They're just so good!" Joel argued making Y/N smile softly as she let her eyes open up long enough to admire the boy. He was tying his last shoe, so didn't seem to notice as she slowly ran her eyes over the features of his face. However, the moment he was sitting back up, Y/N closed her eyes to make it seem like she wasn't watching him.

Joel looked towards her and stared at her for a moment before smiling and reaching out for the blanket that was already falling off of her and onto the floor. He picked it up and shook off the crumbs from the food they had eaten before laying it on top of the girl.

"Why do you have to leave?" Y/N whispered, opening her eyes up a bit while Joel finished fixing the blanket and kneeled onto the ground in front of her. He leaned against the edge of the couch so that the two could be face to face. The lack of distance was enough to make Y/N’s heart skip a beat, but she knew Joel wasn't thinking anything of it.

"I'm just going to go see Aimee for a little bit so that we can watch the sunrise. I'll be back after, okay?" Joel said. Y/N studied him for a moment before nodding her head. The boy grinned and pulled away to get up onto his feet again. "You try and catch up on some z's while I'm gone." Y/N nodded again and Joel leaned down to press a quick kiss to her forehead, an action that made the girl close her eyes in a moment of pure bliss. "I'll be back soon, Robin."

Y/N smiled softly at the nickname Joel had given her. He liked to refer to themselves as Batman and Robin and seeing as he had insisted he was Batman in their friendship, Joel had grown to call her Robin so much over the years that it now flowed off of his tongue naturally. Y/N had never bothered arguing with Joel about who was actually Batman, instead relishing in the way Joel would flash her that goofy grin of his when he called her Robin.

Y/N got too lost in her thoughts to notice Joel walking away until she heard the sound of the front door opened and closed. She opened her eyes for a moment, her heart sinking slightly as she thought about how Joel was leaving to be with his girlfriend Aimee. However, not wanting to dwell on the fact for too long, Y/N just closed her eyes and willed herself to go back to sleep.

Even after she fell asleep, her dreams were filled of nothing but her best friend who she had found herself falling for more and more since the second grade. Not that she was complaining. This was what her life usually was like. Y/N secretly pining over Joel while he dated other girls. It was hard to see, but Y/N knew that as long as he was happy, she would be happy even if it meant they didn't end up together.

Y/N slept for quite a while, hoping she would wake up to Joel returning and hopping back onto the couch with her. However, what she wasn't expecting was for the sound of an explosion to send her jolting off the couch while her whole house shook around her.

The girl fell to the ground with a groan, but her eyes shot open wide as the ground shook again and another explosion filled the air. "What-?" she whispered before slowly pulling herself up off of the floor and looking out the window. Her eyes widened at the sight of fire in the horizon and she felt a surge of panic wash over her as she heard the screams of people filling the air as families started running out of their houses.

"Mom! Dad!" Y/N called out, her parents running down the stairs not too long after that with their pajamas still on and their eyes still fighting away the sleep that had taken over them only a couple of moments before.

Y/N could barely process what was happening after that. The next thing she knew, they were all dressed and throwing their stuff into their car. Her parents were running around and arguing over what they actually needed, so the brunette took the time to look next door where Joel's house stood. Her eyes flickered over the scene, attempting to find her best friend but only seeing his parents.

"Y/N!" Mrs. Dawson exclaimed as she caught sight of the girl. She frantically ran across the yard to her, her hands grabbing onto Y/N’s arms as she asked, "Where's Joel? Where—Where is he?"

"I-I don't know," Y/N admitted, her eyes wide with panic as she still tried to process what was happening. "He left to go see Aimee earlier this morning. He didn't tell me where they went."

Mrs. Dawson frowned and was just about to say something more when a red jeep came barreling down the road and stopped in front of the house. Mrs. Dawson released Y/N immediately while the girl let out a sigh of relief as she saw Joel stumble out of the car.

"I'm sorry!" Joel exclaimed, barely getting his feet onto the ground before Y/N was running at him and practically jumping into his arms for a hug. Joel didn't hesitate to hug her back, his grip tight as he looked towards his mother.

"Thank God! Where have you been, Joel?" his mother asked.

"We have to go right now. Say your goodbyes, get in the car," his father told them.

Y/N then seemed to noticed Aimee who was watching her warily as if she could see right through the girl's facade. She let go of Joel and squeezed his arm before nodding towards Aimee. "Go say goodbye to her. I'm going to finish packing up and then we can talk," she told him.

Y/N didn't give Joel time to respond before she was running back over to her house where her parents were now throwing the last of their things into the car. She helped toss a few more things into the car before closing the trunk with her father. "Go say goodbye, Y/N. We need to leave. Now," her father said causing Y/N to blink in surprise.

"Goodbye? Aren't we going with the Dawsons?" she asked.

"Honey, we don't know where we're going. Our priority is keeping you safe, not trying to stay with the Dawsons," her mother told her.

"But—" Y/N began.

"Y/N," her father sternly said. Y/N frowned slightly and then with a shaky breath turned to begin her way over to Joel who was staring after his girlfriend as she walked towards her jeep.

"Aimee!" he called out causing Y/N to slow down her steps as she caught sight of the look in his eyes. "I love you."

Y/N went rigid at that, the sound of Joel saying those words to someone else making her feel like she may be sick. Tears begin to spring in her eyes and she desperately tried to stop herself, but she couldn't help it. She knew Joel had dated other girls before, but hearing him proclaim his love for one was something she had never had to witness.

And it hurt.

"I love you too," Aimee told him.

"I'm gonna come find you," Joel assured her.

"You better," Aimee said before hopping into her jeep and driving away.

Y/N was still frozen in place, her tears now falling freely down her face while Joel looked her way. His heart broke at the sight of her and he didn't hesitate to run over and wrap her up in his embrace. "Hey, we're going to be okay," he whispered, thinking that her tears were because of them having to say goodbye and not because of the interaction he had just had with Aimee.

Y/N seemed to snap out of her trance at that and she gripped onto Joel tightly, her tears becoming worse as she realized this could potentially be the last time she saw her best friend. "Joel," she whimpered. "This can't be goodbye."

"Hey, hey," Joel said as he pulled away enough to wipe way her tears, his hands cupping the sides of her face. "It's not. We've survived everything together. I'm not about to let this stand in our way either. We're Batman and Robin, remember? We'll always find our way back to each other."

Y/N let her eyes flicker over Joel's face, a few more tears rolling down her cheeks before she held her hand out. "Batman," she said with a small nod.

"Robin," Joel whispered, nodding back at her as he clasped her hand with his own. They held onto each other tightly before Y/N hugged him one last time.

"I love you," she whispered, knowing very well that he didn't understand the true meaning of her words.

"I love you too. We'll find each other, okay?" he said before he noticed Y/N’s parents anxiously staring at the pair. Sighing, Joel squeezed her tight one last time before pulling away and leaning forward to press a small kiss to her forehead. "Bye, Robin." And then he gave her that small goofy smile of his that only made her heart ache more.

"Bye, Joel," she whispered, allowing herself to look at him one last time before turning and running to the car her parents were already climbing into. Y/N didn't dare look back, knowing that if she did it would only make it that much worse.

We're Batman and Robin, remember?

We'll always find our way back to each other.

- - -

"Long story short, I was right and we did find each other again. Granted it took two weeks, but—"

"Well, sorry. I didn't exactly have the colony there to pick me up when my parents died. I had to find you guys all on my own."

"And I see my mistake and I apologize. You did better than I ever could and I love you for it. You see, Y/N’s been my best friend since we were in kindergarten. Some jerk named Harley thought it would be funny to shove me off the swing set and take the swing from me. Y/N thought differently and punched him so hard he flew off the swing as if he had purposefully jumped off."

"I got sent to the principal's office right after, but I gained Joel as my best friend, so it wasn't a complete loss."

"We've been practically inseparable ever since and not even the apocalypse was able to keep us apart for too long."

"And now that you all know how our story began and a little bit about us, we can skip ahead to where we are now, seven years later in an underground bunker."

"This is where our story really begins.”

[twilight-love-nochu]

BTS Reaction To neglecting their family while away (Hyung Line)

JIN (Kim Seokjin)

When you started to date Jin you knew what you got yourself into. Jin is a busy man always preparing for the next comeback or going on tour. He was living his dream and you knew how much it meant to him so you didn’t complain. You felt quite proud of him actually since even with his busy schedule he usually never forgets to take care of his family and spends as much time with your three year old and you as possible.

Though on his current tour it was quite different. For a long time he didn’t call you two and barely ever answered your calls and you were getting quite tired of it. Yes, he was busy but you were just asking for 5 minutes, enough time to check on each other and for him to talk to his son.

It had already been 4 months since he left and your son was missing him terribly. He was starting to be uncontrollable, always throwing tantrums and never wanting to go to sleep demanding for his father to sing him to sleep.

Today was one of those nights again. Your usually smiley son was currently crying at the top of his lungs and kicking when you tried to come near him. At this point you were fed up with it and didn’t have any energy to deal with it anymore.

You left your son’s room and went to the living room were you left your phone. You snatched it from the table it was laying on and FaceTimed your husband over and over again determined to have him answer the phone, which he did after the fifth call.

“What is it?! You can’t just blow up my phone like this I’m about to go to the rehearsals and I’m already late, Y/N.” You could tell that he was pissed by the way he growled at you. But at this point you were probably more irritated than him so it didn’t faze you.

“I wouldn’t have to if you actually answered when I called… or maybe even called yourself.” You retorted with a fake smile.

“You know I’m busy, I don’t always have time. Like right now actually.”

“Seems like lately even when you do have time you prefer spending it with anything or anyone other than your family.” You didn’t even know were that came from and the words surprised even you but you weren’t going to show him how startled you were. “Whatever I just called because your son misses you very much and is making life very hard for me right now so talk to him.” You said while going back into your son’s room and handing the phone to your son who was still crying, though much calmer now.

As soon as he say his father on the screen you could see his eyes light up.

“Hi buddy!” you heard Jin say as you took the opportunity to go to the kitchen and heat up your food as you didn’t have any time to eat before since you were too busy taking care of the troublesome son. You also took the time to calm down from the fight with your husband.

After a few minutes you went back into your son’s room to check on him only to find him fast asleep with your phone on his lap. You smiled at how cute he looked before walking over to him. You payed him down in his bed, tucked him in and pressed a kiss to his temple before taking the phone and walking out of the room making sure to close the door carefully behind you.

“Y/N?” The voice coming from your phone startled you a bit, you didn’t realize that he was still on the call. When you pointed the camera at your face Jin started talking again: “He grew a lot since the last time I saw him. I didn’t realize how long it has been.” He said with a sad smile on his face problably trying to start small talk with you.

You chuckled bitterly at his words “Yeah, talk to you whenever.” You rolled your eyes.

“Wai-“ you didn’t let him finish before ending the call. You really didn’t feel like talking to him after your fight.

SUGA (Min Yoongi)

Yoongi has always been a distant person. He often missed calls or forgot to text back, or even canceled some dates. In the beginning of your relationship it made you doubt his feelings for you quite often but you soon came to realize that he wasn’t being distant on purpose. He is just naturally introverted and very serious and concentrated when it comes to his work.

What helped you realize that we’re many actions of his, like when he came to you when he needed inspiration, or when he sometimes came over to your apartment that was further away from his studio than the dorms fully knowing that you would be asleep when he came and that he had to leave even before you woke up and when you realized that and asked him about it he simply replied that he only felt completely relaxed when he was with you, or simply that he trusted you with his beloved dog Hollie when he was on tour.

Tour was the only time where you two were completely apart from each other and the only way for you to communicate was through the phone. This made tours the hardest times in your relationship, as your communication would be at its minimum. Of course you missed your boyfriend very much when he was away but you trusted Yoongi and knew that if he didn’t call he was just immersed in his work and stressed, you didn’t want to be a distraction from his work since you know how important it was to him.

Anyway you soon got used to his lifestyle and you two started to make changes in both of your lives so that you were both happy. You started hanging out at his studio more often - obviously not distracting him but doing your own thing -, soon you two even moved in together and later on he married you.

Now here you are 5 years later and not much has changed. Yoongi is still as focused on his career and you don‘t mind much, you miss him, but you were used to it by now… but your daughter was not.

Your daughter was only 4 years old so she didn’t understand why her daddy had to be away from her for so long. She is the biggest Daddy‘s Girl out there so she also didn’t like the idea of him going around the world to make other girls happy very much.

The 4-year-old has been feeling a little bit under the weather for a couple of days now and it broke your heart to see your usual bundle of happiness in that state. You thought long about how to make her feel better and came to the conclusion that talking to her beloved dad was the only medicine that would help.

You pondered for a very long time wether you should call him or not since you knew how grumpy he could get when he got interrupted while working but when your daughter even refused to eat you knew you had to.

You went into your room to start the call because you didn’t know how Yoongi would react after picking up the phone and you didn’t want him to snap at you in front of your 4-year-old.

Sure enough Yoongi seemed pissed after answering your second call. “Babe, I’m working, you know I don’t like getting interrupted.” Yes he was scolding you but you couldn’t help the butterflies that erupted in your belly upon hearing his voice after so long.

“Oh come on, you’re always working Yoongi and we haven’t talked in so long.” You pouted a little.

“I’m busy Y/N, I’m working on a new song right now and I really don’t want to forget what I had in mind.” He doesn’t budge, making you sigh.

“Yoongi, we talked about this. When you’re working you tend to get too immersed in it and you forget to call. The last time we talked was more than a month ago and the only reason I even know you’re alive and well is because I talk to your members. I just want one call once in a while even if it’s for a few minutes. Y/D/N misses you a lot… and I do too.” You add shyly.

That’s when you see a soft smile for on your Husband’s lips. “ You’re Right Y/N. I’m sorry. I guess I do get too immersed in my work. I didn’t even realize how I miss you two too.”

“You really need to take a break once in a while babe.” You tell him.

”I know. I will. How’s Y/D/N?” You can see his eyes light up just at the thought of her, making you chuckle.

“Not so good, she hasn’t been nearly as cheerful as she usually is. And I just tried to feed her but she keeps rejecting any kind of food. I think she just misses you a lot. You know I’m used to not talking to you that much but she isn’t.” You tell him honestly and his face falls remarkably.

“You should be used to me neglecting you either, Y/N.” He says sadness laced in his voice. “I’ll make it up to you I promise. For now let me talk to my Princess.”

You walk into the living room with your phone in your hand to find said princess lying on the sofa while watching her favorite show on the TV.

“Baby, Look who’s on the phone!” You say with a cheerful tone.

As sulky as she was before she still looked over to you and as soon as she saw her father on the phone the Y/D/N that you knew and loved cake back.

“Appa!!!”

You stayed on the phone for almost 2 hours during which your daughter happily told him about everything he had missed since his last phone call and he even got her to eat before she passed out on your lap. You were relieved that she was back to her old bubbly self.

Surprisingly, the call didn’t end after you put Y/D/N to bed like you would have thought. Instead Yoongi even insisted on staying on the phone to talk to you until you fell asleep too.

J-Hope (Jung Hoseok)

Your husband Hoseok was a superstar and his popularity was growing day by day. His fan base exceeded national boundaries so naturally he was gone a lot. Be it for a world tour, schedules in other countries or a collaboration with a western artist.

This time he had a 3 months tour all over America and had to stay there a little longer for the promotion of his new song with the newest big female artist in the USA right now.

Though you knew that you had to share your s/o with more than 30 Mio people, you didn’t mind because you knew that in the end you were the one he was married to and had two children with. Plus, you were an army too, so how could you be jealous knowing how important he was to them and vise versa.

Getting jealous because of his popularity would be stupid anyways because Hoseok was one of the most social and charismatic people you ever got to know, so you were sure that even if he wasn’t famous he’d still be gaining the attention of many people. But that wasn’t a bad thing, after all if he wasn’t that outgoing you doubt that you would have gotten to know each other.

So yeah, you were pretty proud of your husband for being so successful in the thing he loved to do. And when he was away you showed your support by watching every show and interview he did. It even became a family tradition for you and your son and daughter to gather in front of the TV every time you knew he was going to be on.

All three of you loved to see him goofing around on screen since lately that was the only way you got to see him.

His new collab song came out a week ago so he was in the middle of promotion and since the song was at the top of the charts a lot of shows demanded his appearance. So every day he was juggling between schedules, went back to the hotel very late and was too exhausted to call. During the preparation of the sind he also was drowning in work. J-Hope was a perfectionist so he stayed at the studio day and night in company of the singer he was making the song with, so every time you called he would tell you that he was busy working with her.

Now, as said before, you weren’t the jealous time at all but seeing how much time he spent with her and how much you were neglected in the process really didn’t sit right with you. And the fact that you saw how well (maybe even too well) they got along with each other on shows didn’t help. You knew fully well that Hoseok wouldn’t cheat on you and you couldn’t help the jealousy that was growing inside of you. You thought to yourself that you only felt that way because you hadn’t seen nor talked to him in so long.

Even so, you didn’t want to let it show in front of your kids since you didn’t want them to think that there was anything wrong with their parents, so you continued to watch the shows and interviews with them every day suppressing the feeling and casting a fake smile on your face.

You thought you were doing a great job at faking it but your son was old enough to notice that there was something wrong with you and he was clever enough to figure out the reason after seeing your smile fall a little every time you saw Hobi laugh with his new friend. He also noticed your general mood deteriorate more and more every time his father didn’t answer your calls.

As he watched you one day try to call your husband once more and sigh when he didn’t pick up your son had enough. He picked up his own phone and opted for messaging you seeing as he knew his father wasn’t going to answer anyways.

You’re an asshole. Hope you know that.

Even though he felt bad for cursing out his father his anger was bigger.

As expected, his father didn’t didn’t respond right away, in fact he didn’t see the message until 3 hours later but as soon as he saw it his heart sank and he immediately called his son racking his brain about what he could have done for his son to suddenly have such a bad image of him.

The 13 year old answered the phone with an eye roll. “Oh so your phone does work. Good to know.”

“Buddy? You alright?” Was all Hoseok said, making the young boy roll his eyes yet again.

“You would know if you called more often… or as all.” Hobi was sure he heard a hint of sadness hiding behind all the sass he definitely inherited from you.

“I’m sorry, bud. I just have so much to do that I barely ever have any time on my own and when I do it’s already the middle of the night over there.” Excuses, excuses is what your son thought.

“Yeah because you’re always with that other woman.” Your son replied now letting his guards down and letting his sadness show. On the other end of the line Hoseok was shocked by his son’s words. His son didn’t think he was cheating on you, did he?

“W-What do you mean?” Hobi asked carefully.

“Every time mom calls you you say that you’re busy with her. You’re making mom sad And I don’t like seeing her like that.”

Hobi sighed, “ Listen to me, okay? I love your mother very very much and I would never even think of doing something that would make me lose her and you and your sister in the process. I didn’t realize I made it seem as if I was hurting your mother on purpose. I wasn’t.”

“Tell that to her then. She acts like there’s nothing wrong but I can see that she’s just faking.” Although still worried for his mom he was actually very glad to hear his father say that.

He was just like you and preferred to hide his feelings so he would never let it show but he was actually very scared that his parents would split up.

“I will, kid. Thanks for making me aware of it.” He was very proud and happy to know that his son was turning into a real man protecting his mother.

“I’ll call her now. I’ll talk to you and your sister later, okay? Love and miss you lots.” He added

“I love you too, dad. Come home soon. Oh and dad?”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry I called you an asshole.” Your son said bashfully, making his father laugh.

“It’s okay, but this better be the last time you talk to me like that.” Hobi answered semi-seriously.

“Yes, sir.” On that note they ended the call and Hobi didn’t miss a moment to call you.

RM (Kim Namjoon)

We all know that Namjoon is a very serious man when it comes to his work. I mean, he has to be, he is the leader of one of the most successful groups right now.

Off stage, Namjoon is also the best husband and father to your daughter. Always there for you two when you need it and when you don’t, the best support that you could ask for.

But with being the leader of BTS and of your family comes great responsibility, and as a result great stress. Between having to overview every schedule they have (and they have a lot), making sure everyone is Problem free and healthy both physically and mentally, making their songs, making sure everyone learns the songs and choreography and that the performances are perfect, playing the translator when they are overseas and having to take care or you and your 6 year old daughter there was not much time to work on his sanity. Don’t get me wrong, he loved doing all that, it was just… a bit much at times. Like now.

They had been on tour for 5 months now and they’re last break was too long ago to remember, meaning that Namjoon had been working non-stop for far too long. And he was already working on their next album that was supposed to come out soon after the tour, giving him extra work. He had no time to go visit the cities, no time to just hang out with the members and definitely no time to call you, and even though he was trying to not let it all get to him, it definitely was. And the fact that he had trouble with the song he was currently writing was not helping him very much.

In Korea, you were helping your daughter finalize the present she was making for her father for Father’s Day today.

She might be just 6 but she definitely had inherited Joon's incredible intelligence and creativity. That is why her present couldn’t be just a drawing of you three standing next to a house with a sun in the corner of the drawing.

She insisted on making an album full of pictures of her and her daddy with small notes and descriptions telling him why she loves him and her favorite memories of him.

She just started school so she couldn’t write very well but she still wanted to do it herself so right now you were just dictating her the words for the last note.

“All done mommy!” She exclaimed with a big toothless grin.

“Yay well done girlie! Shall we call daddy now and show him?”

Hearing your words, you saw her eyes light up. She didn’t waste a second before dashing to get your phone and coming back to where she left the album, making you giggle at her excitement.

You started the FaceTime call but went to stand outside of the frame right after. As mature as she wanted to act, your daughter was only 6 so you knew that Namjoon not making it to the ‘Bring you father to school day’ that her school was organizing for Father’s Day

As soon as she saw her father’s face she started beaming.

“Hi daddy!! Look what I ma-“ but her excitement was cut short by an annoyed voice.

“Y/D/N didn’t I tell you to stop taking people’s phones?” You were shocked by your husband's words and even more by his tone. Never has he ever spoken to her like that.

“But I-“ your daughter tried to explain herself but was cut off by her father once again.

“No buts young lady. You’re daddy’s busy, I can’t always talk when you want to. That’s why you should always wait for me to call or for your mother to call me. Now put the phone back where you found it.” And he ended the call.

You could see the tears forming in your daughter’s eyes as she kept on staring at the screen her usually loving father was just seconds ago.

Without a word you went over to where she was sitting and took her in your arms where she started sobbing.

You really didn’t know what was up with Namjoon. Usually even when he was majorly stressed he never talked like that. He was the most pacifist person you had ever seen and hated arguments. And seeing his little mini-me usually helped him destress.

It took you an hour to calm your daughter down and she finally fell asleep in your arms. You carried her into her room and put her in bed, careful not to wake her up.

With a heavy sigh you went back into the living room and retrieved your phone from the table. You took a picture of the album, sent it to your husband and wrote: Y/D/N made this for you. It’s a photo album with all the best memories she was with you. She was already upset enough that you can’t make it to “Bring Your Father To School Day” but you had to be pissy to her when she just wanted to show you her present? I know you probably are very stressed out because of everything and I understand it and I respect it. That’s why I refrain on calling you too often, but the one time I do, for Y/D/N sake btw, you react like that. That‘s really not cool, Namjoon.

Namjoon read the message you left him, and only then did it down on him how awful he was to your daughter and guilt started building in side of him at a rapid speed.

“Fuck.“

[wormstacheangel]

December 19, 2021

Hello! I’m done with this chapter just in time! It took me all day cause I get distracted easily lol Enjoying my countdown for Christmas with this domestic family? Then catch up with the masterpost here!

Summary: Welcome to the flashback episode where we get the story of how Dean and Cas got together. I think it’s dumb but cute :) 

Word Count:  2358 (yeah...this one could have been longer but I had to chill)

Cas was humming in the kitchen, his playlist playing loudly through the house, while he prepared Dean’s lunch. He stirred the soup once before grabbing a spoon to taste for seasoning. Adding a bit more white pepper before dropping the chopped kale into the hot pot of chicken rice soup.

“Dad?” Jack appeared on Cas’s left. “What time is Dad coming home?”

Claire appeared on Cas’s right. “And what the hell are you listening to?”

He turned towards Jack first, who was mesmerized by the stirring of the soup. “You’re Dad will get off from work at 5, so by 5:30 he should be home.” Then he turned his attention to Claire who was snacking on the homemade croutons. Her eyes met his and she smiled, small and crooked with warm eyes. “And I’m listening to a playlist Sam made me. I believe this is Wannabe by the Spice Girls. Oh, scratch that it’s playing Heaven Help Me by Lizzo now.”

Her eyes widened before she threw her head back to laugh. A hand landing hard on his shoulder while he smiled fondly at his daughter. Jack was already humming the song while reaching for some croutons for himself. Making a face when he bits down on a real burnt one.

“Does Dean listen to this teenage girl stuff?” Claire asked, leaning against the counter. 

Jack copied her movement but it didn’t look as casual as Claire made it seem. Cas moved around them to get a tall thermos to fill with enough soup for a second or third bowl. Dean’s lunchbox was already filled with everything he needed to keep himself warm and full until he came home for dinner. He even added a loaf of apple cinnamon bread to his lunch so Dean could share with his coworkers. A smaller thermos was filled with coffee and he was bringing an extra reusable water bottle, covered in stickers Jack picked out, just in case.

“Sometimes. If he’s in a good enough mood.” Cas admits as he finishes filling up the thermos and zipping up the lunch box. 

“You know, you never really told me when you two finally got together.” Claire pushed herself off the counter to grab his arm, looking at him with bright rounding eyes that matched his eye color. “I think I deserve to hear how my Dads got together!”

“It’s a great story.” Jack agrees as he decided that copying his sister wasn’t fun anymore but he was gonna rummage through the fridge. “Dad Dean doesn’t really like talking about it much.”

“What? Why?” Claire furrowed her eyebrows together while looking up at Cas for answers. “You two are so happy-old-married-couple that it’s sickeningly cute. Was he embarrassed or something?”

“Thank you?” Cas raises an eyebrow back at her as he swings the lunchbox into his shoulder. “And he was embarrassed but I think it’s a story we should tell in front of your father.”

“Why?”

“Cause it would be funny.” Cas tells her with a wink while Jack hummed in agreement, a big smile on his face.

As Cas drove slowly through the icy road, he was smiling, fighting back a laugh, unable to stop remembering the day he returned to Earth. Returned to Dean.

It was a few days of Earth time after Chuck was defeated that Cas escaped with his brothers and sisters, along with a few demons that tagged along. He made sure Ruby stayed asleep and behind, not wanting her to bother Sam or Eileen. He never did find Crowley or Meg, even spending some time calling out for both of them when he realized so many were woken up. 

Jack found him and helped him up to heaven to try to fix whatever they could. He didn’t ask about Dean or Sam but Jack reassured him that they were fine. 

“Let me make you stronger, Cas.” Jack reached for him but Cas stopped him, shaking his head.

“I don’t plan on being an angel for long, Jack. So let me use whatever is left to help you.”

And he did. Two Earth months passed before everything was sort of decided upstairs. Raphael wasn’t the biggest fan of the new dynamic but he followed orders, happy it wasn’t under Chuck and he could actually interact with whoever was in charge. 

Cas could feel more of his grace slip away from him when he was with Bobby, reassuring him that his boys were the hero’s he believed them to be, and most importantly they were happy. 

“Are you going back to them?” Bobby asked as he sipped at his beer, Cas sat beside him drinking one of his own. Tasted just like the first one Dean has ever given him. 

Cas hummed into the bottle. “I am.”

“But they think you’re six feet under?”

“They do.” He looked down at his bottle, peeling away the label with his thumbs. “Sometimes I believe that Dean doesn’t think so.”

“Why is that?”

“He prays to me constantly.” Cas smiles, listening to Dean’s prayer right now. “Right now he’s complaining about the crowd at the grocery store.” He chuckles. “And he’s right. I do hate waiting in those long lines.”

Bobby doesn’t say much but the way he says, “Just take care of my boy.” Felt like the blessing he needed, the push, to finally go back to Dean.

Jack was coming down to Earth with him. It may take a while longer to figure out the spell to conceal and hold Jack’s God powers but they would figure it out. Amara promises to find them a way to help him and will contact them soon, giving Jack a final squeeze before she disappears. 

Cas gave Gabriel one last hug, Adam even gave him one even though he was sure Michael wasn’t the hugging type before Jack flew them back to Earth. Appearing in the middle of the bunker’s library. 

Jack ran off with a small smile on his lips, it was constantly strained and never reached his eyes as his powers overwhelmed him, to go look for the brothers. Cas was feeling dizzy from the flight so he shut his eyes, taking a hold of the back of the chair to steady himself. 

Then he looked up when he heard a bottle break. There was a figure laying on top of the map table. 

Cas took out his blade and made his wobbly legs steady before making his way over. Kicking empty beer bottles as he went. Then two bottles of bourbon by the steps. Then he saw the broken bottle of tequila that now laid on the floor by the table.

His eyes traveled up to the map table to see Dean sat blinking over at him. Head tilted and mouth slightly parted. As if he still couldn’t put a name to his face.

Cas put his blade down and made his way over to the drunk hunter. “Be careful there is glass everywhere.”

When he made it to the broken bottle he pushed it into a neat pile with his shoe. 

“How about you go to bed and I’ll clean this up?” Cas leaned down to pick up the bigger pieces but he was quick to cut himself. “Fuck.” Cas hissed as he realized he couldn’t find any grace to even heal himself enough to stop the bleeding.

Dean gently reaches down to take Cas’s bleeding hand. “The last time I saw you, the real you, the same hand was bleeding.” Dean held on to his hand and tears started to fall into Cas’s hand. “I wish I could have at least helped you patch it up. I wish I could have at least done one goddamn thing for you.”

“Dean.” Cas reached to touch Dean’s face with the tips of his fingers but Dean pushed his face into his palm. His heart raced as he cradled Dean’s face in his good hand while his other hand was being held so gently. 

“I miss you, Cas.” His eyes closed as Cas’s thumb started to make circles around his cheek all on its own. Feeling the stubble that was growing too long for Dean’s liking. “I miss you so damn much and I just...I don’t-I don’t think you’re coming back this time.”

“I’m back, Dean.” Cas tells him with urgency. Taking his bleeding hand back to grab Dean’s face, wanting to make him look at him. When Dean blinks up at him again his eyes start to water. “I’m back! I’m here. I’m here, Dean. As long as you want me.”

“Cas?” Dean finally seems to look at him, actually see him. “You’re here?”

“I’m here.”

“You’re back?” Dean covers Cas’s bloody hand with his own while the other one reaches to grip the trench coat. 

“Yes, dumbass.” Cas chuckles through his tears. 

Dean tugs at Cas’s coat and pulls him into a hug. His arms wrapped around his shoulders into a tight embrace, his nose nuzzled into Cas’s neck. His breath tickling him and his breath...horrendous. 

“You stink, Dean.” Cas hugs him back as he hides his face into Dean’s shoulder.

“I love you.” Dean says as he pulls himself closer. 

“I know. I heard your prayers.” Cas chuckles into Dean’s skin. “I love you too.”

Dean pulls back so suddenly that it scares Cas. Thinking maybe he said something wrong but then Dean made another sudden move.

“Marry me!”

Cas choked on his breath when he couldn’t even find his next words.

“Cas, marry me!” His eyes were wide, eyes dilated and a flushed face. Clearly drunk out of his mind. “You’re back so we can get married now! I mean...I think you need to ask Sam for my hand but fuck him for ditching me for Eileen today. Let’s get married before he gets home.”

Dean started to pull him towards the stairs, both of them stumbling over their feet for two different reasons. 

“Can I come too?” Jack finally made his way towards them. “I can be a flower boy!”

“Jack, we’re not getting married.” Cas tells him, his head spinning. “I just…Dean, you’re drunk!”

“Am not!” Dean argued back, his brows furrowed together. Cas’s shoulders relaxed as he looked at how cute his grumpy expression was. “Say you’ll marry me, Cas!”

“Fine, I’ll marry you!” Cas smiles back at him and the grin that shined through Dean’s eyes made his heart race. Fuck, he really missed him. “But not tonight. Tonight we sleep off the alcohol.”

Dean Winchester was pouting at him and his heart ached. He reached to grip at his own shirt, right over his heart. “Dean, please.”

“But I love you.”

“Aww,” Jack pouted back at him. “Dad, he loves you!”

“Jack, you are not helping.” Cas glared at him and then before he looked back at Dean he had a pair of hot lips pressed against his own. Dean was kissing him.

Before he could even enjoy the kiss or even register it completely, Dean was throwing up on his shoes.

Back in the garage, Cas was grinning when he stepped into the warm office. Dean was in the front office when he walked in, the phone between his shoulder and ear as he typed away in the computer. His eyes widened when he saw Cas but then a smile spread across his lips.

“Yes, we’ll send someone right over to tow your car right over. It shouldn’t take more than two to look at. Of course. It’ll be ready by tomorrow. No worries. Okay, have a nice day.” He hung up the phone and quickly rushed to pull Cas into a quick kiss and a tight hug. “Babe, what are you doing here? I said the roads were still too icy to drive in.”

“And yet you put snow chains on my tiers this morning.” Cas hands him his lunch that his boyfriend takes with a grin.

“It’s cause I know you wouldn't listen.” He kisses Cas’s cheek. “Thanks, Babe. You have time to eat lunch with me?”

“I always have time for you, Dean.”

When lunch was over Cas walked back to his truck, Dean fixing the beanie over his head once again. Giving him a quick kiss before saying, “Get home safely.”

“You too, sweetheart.” Cas waves at him when he quickly rushes to the warmth of his truck. Then before he gets into the car he looks back at Dean, who of course was still looking back at him, “Oh, by the way, Claire wants to hear the story of how we got together.”

Dean stood there for a few seconds as his face dropped, cute grumpy. “No.”

“I promised to tell her over dinner!”

“No!”

“Love you!”

“Cas, babe, no!”

“Love you! Bye!”

“Love you too but no! Cas!”

That drunk proposal felt like years ago instead of months. 

Of course, the best part of the night was the following morning.

Cas woke up with Dean staring down at him, eyes red and filled with tears but a soft smile on his lips. Fingers running through his hair in a gentle caress. Never feeling more at home than he did that morning in Dean’s bed.

“I thought it was creepy to watch people sleep.” Cas mumbles as he reaches over to rub his eyes with the palm of his hands. 

“It is but you’re, um...you’re cute when you sleep.” Dean admitted while Cas froze his face warming up under his hands. “Are you really here, Cas?”

He finally pulled his hands down to stare back at Dean. “I am.”

“And you’re here to stay? Human?”

“I am.” Cas stood still under Dean’s intense stare. “If you’ll have me.”

Dean didn’t answer. Instead, he leaned down to kiss him breathless.

Cas, as well as Jack, was made to promise not to talk about the proposal. Especially the throwing up part or the Jack carrying a passed out Dean to his bed. Cleaning both of them up before he went back to his own room. 

Still, he loved to tease him every chance he got. And he knew their daughter will do the same.

[innittowinit]

Can you pick me up my uni burnt down?

Relationships: Sleepy bois inc (all fics i write are platonic)

Summary:  In which Techno goes to England for University, his building catches fire in the night, and he isn't prepared for the difference in climate between England and California. SBI fluff ensues 

Words: 1785

Language: English 

Ao3 Link

3:30am was when the alarms went off, pulling all of the students out of their dorms and into the bitterness of the night. Techno had barely had enough time to get himself looking decent before someone was pounding on his door and telling him to hurry up, that it wasn’t a drill, and so he pulled on some socks, not even bothering with finding his shoes, and rushed out towards the hallway to see a very distraught looking girl, they had a few classes together but he’d never bothered to learn het name. She was probably going door to door and grabbing all the people who the alarm hadn’t woken, that was sweet, he couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty that she felt she had to stay to wait for him though.

And so now he was standing outside, wearing nothing but a thin t-shirt, some shorts and a pair of socks. Being from california, he hadn’t really been prepared for just how bad nights in the UK could get and now he was paying the price as the icy wind numbed his skin and the snow pelted down like there was no tomorrow. He looked back at the school as an administrator read off names from a register, there were larger than life flames bursting out of windows in the west building.

“Techno Blade? Is Mr Blade here?” “Present!”

After getting himself marked in he was left to himself, sitting on a bench that was wet with newly brushed off snow. Most of the other Students were calling parents or family members to come collect them, which only really filled him with dread. It was just now setting in that the school wasn’t just going to let them back indoors once the firemen handled the fire, he’d have to find somewhere else to stay for the night. It wasn’t exactly as if he could just call his parents to pick him up when he was in a different country completely.

With a sigh, he scrolled through his contact list. He had a lot of friends in the UK but which ones lived the closest and which ones would still be awake at this hour of the night. Tommy was probably the closest but he was not about to ask a 16 year old if he could spend the night at his place. Next was Wilbur, he was about a 30 minute drive away and while he felt absolutely horrible about having to get his friend’s help, he didn’t really have a choice. Hesitantly, he pressed the call button. He wasn’t sure what it was but phone calls gave him so much more anxiety than discord ones, even when he was calling his friend.

After 3 rings, he got an answer.

“Techno!” The brunette’s ever enthusiastic voice chirped, it sounded warm and happy, a stark contrast to the oppressing chill that Techno was enduring right now. “Hellooo..you busy right now?” “Not insanely, I’ve got Phil here helping me with recording the new song though. You good man? Shouldn’t you be asleep? class in the morning and all that” “Yeah about that.. I kinda,, need a place to stay for the night?” he sucked in his breath, anticipating rejection, he hated asking for help like this, it made him feel so weak. “The school is sorta up in flames” “Say the line Techno, it’ll be funny. Say it and i'll come get you” “...wow i wonder if it’s a baby boy or a baby girl”

With a hearty laugh he heard some rustling on the other side of the phone, he heard Phil's voice too but it wasn’t clear. He guessed Will was telling him what had happened anyway. After a while Wilbur spoke to him again. “Phil’s gonna drive out to get you since his car’s heating actually works, you better fit into the same clothes as me since I'm sending him with a change for you. Maybe see if you can wait inside a shop or something while he’s driving; because of the snow, i’d say maybe like 45 minutes till he’s there”

Techno nodded, taking a few seconds to realise that his friends couldn’t actually see him. “Yeah, thanks Will, i’ll let you get back to your song now”

He took his phone away from his ear but he really wished he hadn't, without his friends keeping him company the only thing he had to focus on was how painstakingly cold it was. His arms and legs were both bright red, aching to move them at all, god he regretted his pyjama choice. Pulling his knees up to his chest, feet rested on the bench, then wrapped his arms around his legs, desperate for any kind of warmth as he shivered endlessly. Techno wasn’t quite sure what it was about the cold but it always made him feel very sleepy, that mixed with it being so late at night wasn’t really helping at all

Head pounding, he looked back down to his phone, it was hard to move his fingers and the snow kept wetting his screen, but at least it was a distraction, something he could keep his mind on for at least some of the long 45 minute wait.

======================== ========================

Techno hadn’t even realised it when Phil arrived, he was glad the School administrators were on top of things because he would have just left him sitting there had it not been for a woman that came over to tell him his ‘dad’ was here to get him. Opening his mouth, he intended to spout off about how he wasn’t related to Phil but decided against it. He didn’t want to pick up a fuss and plus, the warm car was right there!

He got up off the bench, only really having his phone with him, and made his way to his friend’s car, his face made an expression of discomfort as he had to walk through the snow in wet socks but at least he’d be warm soon.

Phil had already laid a towel out on the seat, sighing in relief, Techno collapsed into the car. Only now realising this was the first time he was meeting his friends in real life. “I’m guessing i got the right guy then?” Phil chuckled, passing Techno a towel to dry off his hair with. “God you must be freezing with that outfit. We can sit here for a bit while you get comfortable”

Though he wasn’t talking an awful lot, Techno was incredibly grateful, here and back meant Phil had to drive over an hour. He’d have to remember to pay him back for gas. “Thanks Phil” he sighed, ruffling his hair with a towel, it felt so much better to be able to dry off and warm up again.

Next he was given a hoodie and some joggers, which Phil promised to close his eyes as he changed into them. The hoodie was fine, it was about the size he would usually buy for himself, but he had to admit the bottoms were a bit long; he’d always thought of himself as tall but didn’t Wilbur claim to be 6’5? Yeah he was sure he wasn’t going to be the tallest there by a couple inches.

The drive back to Wilbur’s was peaceful, they stopped in the Starbucks drive-through to grab them both a warm drink, and while Techno wasn’t really the kind of person to frequent Starbucks, he wasn’t in any position to deny warmth right now. He ended up just getting a hot chocolate, bundling himself up in the seat with the blanket Wilbur had sent with Phil, and finally feeling content. He had imagined meeting his friends so many times, he always imagined he’d end up getting overwhelmed and needing to step out but right now he just felt genuinely happy, he felt cared for. He knew if he was back at home right now, while his parents would have still come for him, they would have complained the entire time about how he was old enough to figure it out for himself, he certainly wouldn’t have been given dry clothes and a blanket.

“You’re really nice Phil” Mumbled a very very sleepy Techno, eyes glazed over as he tried his hardest to stay awake for the entire ride.

Phil just chuckled, the GPS said they were nearly at will’s, he was sure he’d want to see Will before falling asleep anyway, plus he didn't think he’d be strong enough to carry him in. “You gotta stay up a little longer for me mate, we’re almost there, i know you’d usually be sleeping at this time”

Arriving at Wilbur's house felt a little weird, opening the car door hit him with a strong breeze that only seemed to make him even more delirious as he tried to figure out how to stand up without dropping his blanket on the floor. Eventually he got it, bundling it up in his arms he gave a big yawn, becoming a little more awake as he tried to push the sleep away. No matter how much he wanted to just go straight to bed he knew he’d need to talk to his friend first, it would be a little rude to come to his home and not even speak to him.

Since Techno’s hands were full with the blanket that had been wrapped around him, Phil grabbed his towel and wet clothes before locking the car and leading the way inside; by this time it was past 4 in the morning and he was sure they were all just exhausted.

Honestly he wasn’t sure what he had expected Wilbur’s house to look like, it was clean he supposed. Listen, he was an English major, not some kind of house furniture major, he didn't really care what Wilbur had in his home.

“Hey mate, got Tech’” Phil stated as he flopped down on the sofa, leaving Techno to sit on the other side of Will, who had been watching some kind of movie, it looked like maybe it could be one of those sappy musical lovey dovey ones but he really didn’t care that much.

“How you doing Techno Blade?” Will yawned, laying his legs over Techno’s lap and his head on Phil's shoulder.

“Not too bad Wilbur Soot, what are you watching?” Another yawn, he ran a hand through his pink hair, chucking his crown onto the floor as he unfolded the blanket he had been snuggled into during the car ride, spreading it out across the three men.

“No clue, just wanted to wait up for you” The brunette closed his eyes, still awake but barely

“You're an idiot”

[kindness-bliss]

New Beginnings Ch. 7

Timothy Thatcher x OC

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: none

Tim looked over at her discreetly he witnessed her trying to open a jar and cleaned his hands on his already stained shirt “I got that for you”   “And I got this for you” she said as she went into her small closet in the living room and pulled out a flannel shirt  “It’s my dads, I don’t wanna see you in a bloody dried up t shirt as we make dinner”   He nodded quickly as he took off his shirt and unbuttoned on the one she gave him Maya blushed as she grilled her ground turkey and noticed how chiseled he was, his upper chest having the perfect amount of body hair and peaks, his biceps bulging out nicely but not overly muscular or anything like that    “It fits” Tim grinned as he showed her  “Not that bad on you” she admits with a small grin “Plaid is definitely your style, I like it on you” “I-I don’t deserve you being so nice to me” he said quietly “Maya, I won’t ever be able to stop saying sorry to you ever, know that. I’m probably gonna say sorry to you for as long as I know you”   “Tim, when’s your birthday ?” Maya asked suddenly as she looked at him “I know it’s 1983 but month ? What month ?”  “March….March 17th” he answered slowly “why ?”   “Oh my god you’re a Pisces, suddenly everything makes sense wow” she nodded as she laughed “Gosh you fit it to a T, you’re a water sign”    “What does that have to do with anything ? A water sign ? What the hell is that ?” Tim asked confused as he put his cutting board down   “It’s your sign Tim” she chuckled “Your sign is a Pisces which makes sense because they’re...well you are considered to have a sign that is known for its over sensitivity, self-pitying but also very selfless and very accepting”    “Oh” he said softly “well I guess yeah, kinda is me. My mother says it’s because I’m an only child and never got to experience things other children got at my age since I also stayed with my grandmother a lot. I think that made me highly sensitive”   “You call it highly sensitive, I call it highly aware” she grinned as she took the carrots and celery from him and added them to a pan to saute   Tim observed as sat on a stool by her “what are you making ? It looks kinda complicated honestly” “Bolognese” Maya says “Though I’m kind of cheating because I’m using sauce from a jar, but I promise it’ll be good”   “Oh” he nodded “I don’t cook much honestly, I only have ever made chicken or ham and it’s typically without seasoning. Same with my rice, I stick to bland foods for the most part. I broke my diet when we went to that Korean BBQ place” Tim said softly as he reached over and cut up onion for her    “Glad I got you to change things up for a bit, though you ghosted me and acted like a child afterwards and ruined me introducing you to better places” she giggled   “I’m gonna age myself here a bit but um, what’s ghosted ?” he asked with genuine interest as he looked down at her   “It means ignore, basically a millennial way of saying you ignored me” she answered back  “Ah I see, I like that...ghosted. I’m adding that to my vocabulary” he nodded as he repeated the word under his breath as he chopped   “Gosh he’s cute” Maya thought to herself as he stood only inches away from him, their arms basically touching as she sauteed. She made sure she stayed in close distance as she cooked looking around as silence began to take over   “Since you were a dick to me, you have to be really nice to me now like really nice” she said with a smile  “I will do whatever you want or need me to do” Tim smiled at her with his dimple popping out more “Kiss me” she whispered nervously as she looked into his eyes    “Like...like right now ?” he asked nervously “o-okay...I’m not that good at it though and my beard is gonna scratch, my lips are kinda dry too and-” he stopped blubbering when he felt her soft lips gently press onto his as she carefully put his hands on her waist as he leaned in more and placed hers on his cheeks    Maya grinned up at him afterwards as she gently wiped his lips and put ice back on his face “go sit with this on while I finish here and by the way, you’re a good kisser”  He chuckled as nodded and sat on her couch “well thank you, haven’t heard that one in like 5 years at least”. Tim sat quietly as he iced his face trying to make sense of what had just happened. Just 6 hours ago he had told her horrible things and now here was having just had a make out session in her kitchen as they cooked dinner together. Tim looked around as he picked up magazines she had on her coffee table and looked through them smiling when he realized they were all her covers or features. One in particular catching his eye, a feature in a parenting magazine where she was holding a baby on her lap.    “Last year” Maya grinned “I typically don’t do those kinds but they needed a model last minute and I happened to be in the area and went in. It was fun, kids and babies were great to work with honestly and now what I expected. That little one stole my heart, made me think I wanted my own for a bit”    “You think about kids ? Not in a weird day of course, just since like me you’re an only child” she asked “I mean yeah, sometimes” he admits quietly “Granted I really thought I was gonna stop wrestling when I was like 30 and settle down and have that white picket fence life everyone else had but clearly life has passed me by. But I’ve had some other good things in life, experiences and memories not everyone has had in life. I’m not one to complain, you ?” Tim asked as he looked at her   “Sometimes I want 1, sometimes none and other times I want like 5” Maya chuckled

“5 ?” Tim laughed “That’s a basketball team right there, Jesus that’d be feeding an army daily”   “Which is why then I think maybe not having them at all would be more beneficial” she laughed “I’ve got time to think about it thankfully, like 5 more years”   “Enjoy your youth, and your job. It’s interesting, really it is Maya” Tim says genuinely “You’ve been to some amazing places, you have experiences most won’t get and you’re only 25. It’s amazing truly”  Maya grinned at him as she fixed the ice pack on his face “I appreciate that, but your face will appreciate this ice way way more”. Damn, kissing him must’ve been the best thing she felt in ages, she could tell he wanted it just as bad as she did yet kept his usual calm demeanor. She came out of her daze as she heard her her cell phone buzz, muttering quietly as Marcel’s pet name appeared  “Dinner tomorrow is still on ?” “Yeah….but let’s meet somewhere, I think I’m ready to tell Tim the truth” Maya sighed as his name quickly appeared on her screen and declined his facetime requests and calls immediately  “Answer me please, Maya just don’t do it today please. Let’s meet tomorrow and we can figure something out...please ?” “Fine, I won’t do it tonight but I’m doing it soon, I like him a lot and I’m not gonna keep secrets from him Marcel, and neither should you. I’ll text you tomorrow morning” she sent as she put her phone on silent and set their plates up She went to the bathroom as she wiped her residue makeup off her face and put her hair up in a ponytail to fresh up, applying some perfume lightly as she looked herself over and left the bathroom    “Oh” she whispered as she saw Tim sleeping on her couch, giving soft snores as his arms were crossed on his chest. Even in his sleep he wasn’t relaxed, it kinda looked like he was just closing his eyes to her and waiting to spook her any second. She contemplated waking him up for a second and went to touch his shoulder, but instead decided to graze his cheek with the back of her hand gently, covering him up with her throw she had on the couch.  Maya shrugged as she turned on the tv and sat on the opposite end as she stuffed spoonfuls of pasta into her mouth watching Real Housewives of New Jersey, shaking her head at the stupid drama on her television shifting when she heard Tim move around and groan   “What ? What happened ?” Tim asked with a groan as he stretched “did I fall asleep here ?” “You did” she nodded “only been like an hour and a half, now please get yourself a plate and don’t bother me for the next 20 minutes because Teresa Giudice is about to cause drama at this fashion show so shhh”   He raised his brow in confusion as he stood up and served himself a plate and sat next to her going back and forth between her reactions and the tv screen in front of him “Did she just call her an old hag and a bitch ?”    “Tim shh” she put a finger to his lips absentmindedly Tim nodded quickly as he leaned back into the couch and ate, speaking up when the show was over with wide eyes “That was… a lot. Is all reality tv like this ?”  “Only the best” Maya laughed “and by the way, sorry for shushing you like that” He shrugged “I deserve more than that”  “Tim, as of tonight we drop it” she turned to look at him “Please” Maya cleaned up thinking what the hell she got herself into with him, this wasn’t in her character at all. One second she was ready to see him drop dead 8 floors to the ground and the next she was making out with him in her kitchen. This was new territory she was going into and deep down it felt right, it felt right to kiss him and feel his touch and she could feel he was feeling the same way. She turned her head , gasping as she bumped into him    “Yes ?” she whispered “Maya, I like you” Tim said “I like you a lot...and I feel like if I don’t tell you now that it’s just us here in a comfortable environment I probably won’t say it again. This isn’t like me one bit” he admits “I’ll be honest yeah I’ve had girlfriends, I dated women here and there but I never felt like this…”    “Like how ?” she asked softly  “Scared, scared that when I was with you I liked who I was for once, I felt at ease and like I didn’t need to put the harsh wrestling persona up. You didn’t care or give it much thought either or pestered me like some others had in the past. And I just wanna say-” “Tim shut the fuck up and just kiss me already” she said softly    And he did. He kissed her deeply as he moved his hands down to her hips and lifted her with ease onto her kitchen countertop feeling her hands move up and down his chest. It wasn’t just a long kiss, it was several kisses with small breaks in between to ensure they could catch their breath as their hands roamed freely all over each other's bodies. Maya unbuttoned the first 3 buttons off his shirt as she lightly traced his chest with her nails as her forehead pressed against his “we should go to my room….we don’t have to you know...have sex but we can just do more of this there comfortably”   “Okay” he nodded as he took her hand and followed her into her room, looking around at the pristine condition everything was in. A vanity organized with makeup items and skin care products he couldn’t even name, her bed perfectly made and covered in pillows, a closet the size of his bedroom with clothes in every color of the rainbow. Everything so neat and luxurious, everything he didn’t have.   She leaned up against him she kissed him again, this time with more dominance as she stumbled onto her bed on top of him, feeling his hands lightly on her lower back    Tim pulled apart from her as he rubbed his slightly red lips and pet her hair gently with his hand “I haven’t had anything like that in a while” he admitted with a small grin    “Neither have I’ she chuckled, licking her lips feeling them swell “It’s like free lip filler” “Always a comedian” Tim laughed genuinely sitting up on her bed “Jesus it’s 11 already and I gotta walk back to my car to get home, I got tapings tomorrow”   “Just stay here and I’ll take you back in the morning, it’ll be early I promise” she said softly as she gave a comforting grin “Okay, I”ll take the couch though. I’m not sleeping in your bed, this was a one time thing that I typically don’t let happen”    “What a gentleman you are” Maya said as she brought him a pillow and blanket “I’ve got all the works on my tv so feel free to watch what you like, bathroom is right next to the closet”    “Thanks, I appreciate it really” She got up in the morning as she turned off her alarm and got ready for the day, taking a peek and seeing Tim up and sitting as he watched tv making different facial expressions  “What are you watching ?” she chuckled as she walked out and turned on her Nespresso machine “Danielle is a mess, I get why you watch this trashy stuff. It’s addicting” he shook his head as he turned it off  Maya laughed as she took out two mugs from her cabinet “Well now you know and let me guess, you take your black ?” “ Yeah” He nodded as he got up and sat on a stool    “I got a shoot in like an hour so I probably won’t be able to talk to you for most of today” she said softly as she packed her bag “chances are till late late tonight”   “Oh….well um I was hoping if you’re able to, I actually have a taping tomorrow and I wanted to ask you if you would like to attend ? It’s about 2 hours, it’s fun even for someone like you who’s never been around wrestling” Never been around wrestling, after a great night she remembered the big mess she had yet to talk to him about. Marcel, shit.    “I’ll try my hardest” she responded with a grin as she drove them back to his car “Thanks again for driving me here, I appreciate it have a good shoot” he nodded as he lingered for a while leaning in slowly as he pet her cheek with his hand and kissed her “Um I think your friend over there saw us” Maya laughed softly as she pointed to an opened mouthed Oney at the gym entrance    Tim chuckled and shook his head as he got out “I’m not gonna hear the end of this one, I’ll text you later, have a good work day” he smiled softly as he walked away “Is that….you have a ?, speak up already” Oney pushed as he followed him to his car “you can’t just not tell me what’s going on after kissing someone like THAT” He turned around as he got out his gym bag “excuse me ? what do you mean like that ? what’s with the emphasis on the end there ?”    Oney shook his head as he gave a scoff “Do you have any idea who that is ? What kind of work she does ?”

  “Uh yeah she’s a mode” Tim nodded as they walked inside “I’ve seen her stuff, she showed me and talked to me all about it”

“I can’t believe you’re dating a model man, you of all people. No offense of course but I mean I never pictured you even dating someone at all”

Tim raised a brow “I’m that bad of a catch huh ? Gee I feel great now that you’ve given me this amazing pep talk, feeling like I can conquer the world now” he answered sarcastically stretching

  “How old is she ?” Oney asked “because there’s no way she’s older than 30”

“25….” he said softly “she’s 25, just turned 25 actually about 2 months ago”

“WHAT ?” Oney said as he spit out his water “No fucking way, you’re dating a 25 year old ?”

  “Would you stop, we’re not dating…….we’re friends that’s all” he answered as he began his cardio

  “Oh yeah because you totally suck face with a friend before leaving right ?” Oney chuckled “You’re in deep, you did the cheek grab and the little linger after you kiss” “Well maybe I like her, friends right now but who knows maybe after she comes to the show might change” he gave a smile “I invited her and she said she’ll come” “Who are you and what have you done to my friend ?” Oney asked with a raised brow “Because you are not the Tim I know” “Let’s just say maybe I wanna enjoy life a bit more” He shrugged “and I’m starting with her, she likes me. I like her, there’s nothing that can go wrong” Nothing right ?

[supertransural]

thinking about dean cas and baby jack going on a road trip. dean’s used to being in the impala for long lapses of time, but it’s usually stressful, it’s tiring, it’s always in the expectancy of another job, another monster to be defeated. it’s always going from point A where a killer was killed to point B where another one awaits. it’s always about the job.

so this time, concentrating on the road as dusk was slowly creeping up on them, with cas dozing off beside him or maybe thinking hard about... something (this was cas after all, how was dean supposed to know what went on in his (his!! he still couldn’t believe that) angel’s head), squinting as always, his eyes almost shut; with 4yo jack in the backseat, drooling all over the fine black leather (if this wasn’t his kid, dean would’ve stopped the car already and thrown the child out just for this punishable-by-death-atrocity) and dreaming about a future dean gets to be a part of (goddammit how did he get so lucky), he was surprised when he didn’t feel the much-too-common tension in his shoulders. he felt... relaxed, yes that’s the word. it’s a word he was beginning to understand, a word that cas was teaching him how to feel.

a small smile cracked its way through dean’s face as he turned his attention back to the road. they were on their way to Louisiana, not set on a town yet. he may have been retired, but dean hadn’t lost his taste for adventure, so he had convinced his little family to just, wing it. he wondered if he should switch routes and see where the new one lead him, but that might upset cas who was really excited about eating the good food he’d heard his husband talk so much about. louisiana it is, then, he thought.

in the corner of his eye, he could see cas breathing deeply, no doubt already mapping out every possible resting spot for tonight, every corner store that sold kids food, maybe emergency stuff (cas could get a bit overwhelming when he listed off every single potential thing that may go terribly wrong with jack when they leave the safety of their house) or diners that cas deemed appropriate enough for their special kid. because he really was special, every smile, every laugh, every new drawing or string of words he puts together seemingly just so he can see his dads smile, every single thing this baby does is special. unique. and dean gets to see all those things, he gets to be there for everyone of them. jesus he’s getting emotional, should stop that now or cas will be teasing him about it for the rest of the trip. ok, deep breaths now, he thought. the road, the wheel in his hands, baby’s engine humming quietly. right. got it.

they packed frantically two days prior, because cas. jack was giggling the whole way through, observing them from his stool, since apparently dean looked really funny with peach fuzz he hadn’t had the time to shave yet (cas woke him up in a panic at 6am dammit) pink pajama shorts, his boots and a unicorn tshirt he only wore in cas’ presence (sam is a lovey kid, but hell if dean is ever going to let him see the collection of tshirts this one comes from). 4 suitcases, a couple inflatable duck-floaties, way too many towels, every single one of jack’s stuffed animals (except the little purple dinosaur one that jack was firmly holding onto during his inspection of his parents’ packing ordeal) and a thousand other useless things cas seemed to find essential to their survival.

“jesus, it’s only a couple weeks, honey!” dean had told him, trying to fit the last suitcase into the trunk of the impala (and miserably failing, to his own bitter disappointment).

“yes, a “couple weeks” within which we will apparently be doing things and going places we cannot foresee, as was your wish. i simply want to be prepared for any alternative your resourceful mind might come up with. and jack requires all his stuffies, he cannot sleep without counting each one of them before bed. you do not wish to see your child cry for two weeks, do you? you would not purposely cause him any pain, would you? right then the matter is settled. these items must find their way into this car you love so much, and i must attend to our son. his breakfast awaits!” cas had responded, mischievous smile growing larger with each sentence. “good luck!” he then added, giving dean a long and deep kiss, as if this was to be their last.

after a kiss like that, how was dean supposed to keep on complaining? he wasn’t, and that was exactly what cas intended, dean knew that. doesn’t mean he protested, or argued against his miraculous-bitch of a husband. so he had finished packing, muttering to himself, but unable to push down the grin that cas’ kiss had brought upon his face. or the flush of his cheeks for that matter.

here he was, happy as he’d ever been, relaxed for the first time ever while being on a long drive (first of many times, he hoped), with the love of his life on his right side, and the other light of his existence in the backseat, little hands still clutching the purple dinosaur.

“hey.” he heard a raspy and sleepy voice say. cas had indeed been asleep for the past 30 minutes.

“good morning, sleepyhead!” answered dean, chuckling.

he looked at cas’ beautifully hazy face, his icy blue eyes shining in the pink-orange light of the fading sun. god, how could this man be his, and how could dean ever refuse him anything. he reached out his right hand to place it on cas’ left thigh, stroking it lovingly in round patterns with his thumb. smiling at him, he wondered if giving him a quick kiss would cause his husband to start lecturing him again (for the thousandth time probably) about driving safely when jack was in the car.

fuck it, he thought. he glanced at the empty road, and lunged quickly towards cas before the former angel could refuse, and placed his lips on his for a few seconds. grinning to himself as he sat back, directing his gaze back to the highway, he waited for cas’ annoyed voice, no doubt already preparing a stern talking-to and threatening him to rat him out to the police to get his license taken away (not that it would matter, dean still had all his fake ID’s in a secret box back home, carefully tucked between baby clothes and pacifiers at the bottom of a drawer).

“dean.” cas started, a frown already carved into his forehead.

“oh no you don’t” dean cut him off. “if you lecture me, jack’s gonna feel it and he’ll wake up from what seems to be a very pleasant dream. save it for the hotel room, i know a few ways you can make me feel the weight of my wrongdoing.” he added with a wink.

cas turned to look at his son, still happily asleep in the back. frown disappearing, a sweet smile starting to lighten his expression (wow, he really could just look that magnificent whenever he felt like it) he turned back to face his partner.

“fine. just because he’s asleep. where are we?” cas said, squinting disapprovingly, then yawning silently.

“just passed the northern border of arkensas.” answered dean with a sigh. “gonna be a pretty boring drive from here on out”.

“i see. there’s a motel not far from here, with a town nearby where we could find sustenance, appropriate for jack too.” cas said, not even looking at his phone: he’d memorized each town’s location, every name of every motel, roadhouse, diner that they might encounter, because he was like that. and god did dean love him for it. “it’s getting a bit late, and i would rather see jack in a bed tonight than sleeping in the car” he remarked. “no offense to her” he added hurriedly when he felt dean’s glare after what could be interpreted as an insult to his baby.

“alright. when’s the exit for this town of yours?” dean asked absentmindedly.

“15 more miles, i believe.” cas answered, propping up an elbow on the windowsill.

“cool. tell me when you see it, i might forget, with you looking so handsome right next to me and all. tired father really is a good look on you.” dean whispered with a side smile.

“oh stop it. jack is right there.” cas answered, chuckling and fiddling with his wedding ring.

they stared at each other, peace settling comfortably between them.

“you know i love you, right?” said dean, without a hint of humor in his voice.

“yes, you’ve taken the habit of telling me, roughly 28 times a day, give or take.” joked cas as he saw dean scowl. “i love you too, now and forever, when the seas rise and swallow the land, when the heavens fall and the stars burn out, i will still love you, the only light that ever mattered, the first soul i ever really saw, the one i followed to hell and back. but you already knew that, right?” cas uttered with warmth, with the same voice he’d used at their wedding.

“jesus, cas. if you’re not careful, i might just end up falling for you. oh wait, i already did.” answered dean, face reddened and heart full. this is where he belonged.

dean’s hand was still on cas’ thigh, and their gazes were still locked together when jack woke from his sleep in an adorable mumble. he immediately started babbling to his fathers about the dream he had had (probably making up new details, but you could never know with that kid). as the family laughed together, dean looked to his window, and time stilled for a split second.

he saw a ghost of who he was, staring back at him in his reflection, eyes glossy with tears (joy? terror? sadness? love? hate? too hard to tell). the face in the makeshift mirror seemed to ask “is this really what is coming? will i truly get to where you are one day?”. dean smiled, nodding a silent “yes, yes you will. in time.” and the face faded away slowly, a little less scared than it had seemed at first.

when he looked back towards his husband and his son, his own eyes were glossy too.

“what’s wrong?” cas asked, worried.

“nothing, i’m just happy.” dean answered, wiping away a tear that was slipping down his cheek with a sure smile. “i’m just... happy.”

they drove until cas pointed at the exit, ate, and fell asleep contentedly.

18 years ago, dean dozed off without the need for strong booze in the very same motel, and the same tear (joy, maybe?) danced down his face into the pillow. a low hum of a voice saying “in time” ringing brightly in his mind, he fell asleep into the deepest slumber he’d ever gotten. “all will be well”, a voice kept repeating.

[thatsarcasticgemini]

Safe and Sound

Illya Kuryakin x Reader

First of all, this one shot was NOT my idea. It is based on this post by the wonderful @redhot-mystacism. I just changed a few details. Hope you like it!

     Y/N and Illya got lucky with their children. After Y/N’s second pregnancy, they had another little boy: Alexei Kuryakin. He was a mix between the two of them and he was a total angel. Ate without complaining, slept well and never fussed when it was time to change his diaper. Dimitri loved his baby brother to bits, always following Y/N or Illya when one of them was holding him. Illya was also really protective of his second son, that’s the reason why he decided to take three months off work. Y/N was a little skeptical with his choice, but he was very convinced he was needed at home. Since she couldn’t keep him at work, Y/N made up a few rules of her own. All of them were easy to follow, but Illya got chills from the first one: No aggressive behaviour around any of them. He had to follow them tho and really tried his best. His stay at home was peaceful, until one evening, that turned out to be one of the scariest moments of the agent’s whole life.

     It was late November and the moon was already up. It was around seven pm and Y/N had just managed to get Alexei to go to bed. The little boy’s sleeping schedule was really weird: he slept for 30 minutes, woke up, ate, remained awake for another 30 minutes, than went back to bed. The mom was collecting dirty clothes from all over the house and putting them into the laundry basket. She went into the upstairs bathroom and placed the basket next to the sink, but than remembered Illya didn’t have dinner with her and Dimitri, because he was really busy in his office. He was looking into an old KBG file for Solo and Gaby. Y/n didn’t know much about the case, but she knew that the assassin Illya had to fight was still on his tail, sending him macabre notes. This didn’t scare the Russian until he had his family. Than it became a real problem. 

    Being a good and caring wife, Y/N made her way downstairs and into the kitchen, where she saw Dimitri playing with his little figurines. She brew a cup of mint tea and placed some cookies on a tray, taking the whole snack to her husband’s office. The door wasn’t fully closed, so she easily pushed it with her hip. Illya was seated at his desk, reading something, but lifted his head and smiled at his wife, patting his thigh, inviting her to sit. Y/N placed to tray on the desk and sat down, allowing her husband to hug her close. They could have fallen asleep in that position, if they hadn’t heard the sound of a big metal object falling and hitting the ground in their front yard. They both shot up and Illya made his way to the window, pushing the dark blue window courtains aside. His face fell as he turned to his wife and pulled her out of the room.

“Y/N, love, you have to grab Dimitri and run out the back door in the kitchen! The men who knocked our gate down, they look really familiar. They are hired assassins who must have found out where we live. You have to get Dimitri and go to the wood shed in the back yard! Right Now!”

“What about, Alexei? I can’t...I have to....I need to get him out of here too!”

“You’ll have to trust me! I’ll get him! You can’t stay here. Go! Get our big soldier and go!” With that, Y/N dashed in the kitchen and got Dimitri up. He was a bit mad that he was pulled out of his fantasy world, but didn’t fuss. In less than five second they were out of the house. Illya ran up the stairs, skipping two steps  each time. 

     When he got to the little boy’s bedroom, Alexei was still sleeping. Illya got him out of the crib and heard the front door break just as he placed the baby on his chest. Alexei looked up at his dad with big eyes. Illya had to get the baby out of there quickly. He looked around the hallway and ran into the bathroom, spotting the laundry basket his wife had forgotten on the side of the sink earlier. He thought hard about what do and came to the conclusion that the only way to get out of the house safely was to put in danger one of the things he loved the most: his newborn son. He put Alexei in the basket, the boy instantly crying from the loss of contact, watching his dad duck down, behind the semi closed door. Illya prayed for the first time. He prayed for his sons and his wife and for the attacker to not see him hiding behind the door. The paid assassin came up the stairs with his gun pointing to the room where the noise was coming from. Illya gently got up once the man was in the room and knocked him out with a simple punch to the back of his neck. He than bent down, grabbed the man’s gun, got Alexei and ran out of there. But the Russian agent knew better than to assume that there was only one person. Had to be two. He waited at the top of the stairs, behind the wall. Illya heard someone coming upstairs and he didn’t hesitate to hit the other person in the temple with the grip of the gun. He made his way downstairs and out of the house, to the wooden shed. He opened the door and called out for his wife, letting her know he wasn’t one of the attackers and he was ok. Y/N and Dimitri jumped from behind an old wooden closet they kept in there and ran into his arms. Y/N was crying and shaking, so Illya put Alexei down on a small picnic blanket and picked his lover up bridal style. He looked at Y/N, than at Dimitri who was playing with Alexei’s little hands and to Alexei, who was smiling and laughing at his older brother. His family, his kids, his wife were safe and sound.

[emperorofbullshit]

This is gonna be me ranting and whining about how annoyed I am at my own mediocrity and how I manipulate the people around me as a coping mechanism to delude myself into thinking I am doing pretty alright and I shouldn't complain because I have it good

Since 14 years old there has been much discord in my family. My father is an alcoholic and not just a normal one. He would go to work at 6, get off work at 12 and then come home after 6 more hours of drinking. There are 7 days in a week and out of those 7, in at least 5 I have had to hide in my room because I was scared of him. He would yell, he would call me names, he would even make threats saying things like :

"I have 2 sons. Do you see that window? I could throw you out of it and only have one son."

To a 14 year old kid who is scared shitless but can't show emotion on his face, those words were always taken at face value and I always had no doubts on him being unable to keep his words. I am the eldest of 2 sons and thus I had to take the brunt of the "parental dedication", as they call it, and was always pushed for excellence. They would always say : "Get good grades, make good friends, go outside, go study, go do this and go do that" in and out every day. From 3rd grade I have been taking courses on languages, sports and math at times and I would leave home at about 6:45 AM every day to get to school at 7:30 and I would go from school which ended more often than not at 13:30 to English courses and then to either Deutch courses or basketball practice which would end at roughly 6PM.

My parents loved achievements but did next to nothing to help me feel anything other than anger towards getting any. They would always go on and on about good grades so you can get the prize money, good grades so you can get in a good school, good this, good that and I subconsciously avoided being in the spotlight because I actually felt gratification from being able to see their dreams shatter into dust and fir a while, that was the inly thing that kept me going. Just the look on their faces, the tone on their voice, the gleam in their eyes. The gleam of someone realizing that their hopes and dreams of greatness were just turned to dust. I still have that side of me, I just choose to keep it under control but it want's to get loose once a while.

And so my life continued until 9th grade when ai decided to stop all couses because I was sick and tired of them and so I stopped going. Then came high school, this circus, part of which I am as of writing this text most if not all of you will skip because it's just way too long.

In the first year of highschool I had fun. I made some new friends and hung with them a bit and I also met the one person I thought I could trust because she was like me, except unlike me, she still had hope and she still had her parents, albeit controlling, with her, rather than against her.

I gave her counsel when she needed it and we hit it off. She was a great friend while it lasted. I knew from the beginning that she and I would most certanly not make it through the year as friends so I had as much fun as possible with her.

I told her a very tiny fraction about my life and jokingly but never untruthfully told her how my mind works and what I do to people around me, her included. I talked her about relationships once and I helped her out too because she had a guy she liked and he liked her back. This guy just so happened to also be a friend of mine so I thought : "Why not help my friend get together with my other friend?", and subtly but surely I made them get together faster.

That was basically the premise of the first year. A pretty average story but I left out the part where the alcoholism and mental abuse at home never stopped. I put focus on this one girl because helping her out was my coping mechanism.

Then came the second year. This girl had gotten together with her man and they were very happy to be together and still are, after all I am still in my 2nd year of high school writing this, but back to topic. The second year of high school was wierd to say the least because of the pandemic and our classes were split in half. Me, being the pupeteer I am, decided to pull some strings and set my annoying classmates away with sweet words and deals that sounded too good to be true, and ended up with the best classmates I wanted, part of which was my target for the second year. My target was a girl this time. She was and still is, pretty, smart, and very comfortable for me to be around but she and i had never actually talked at all. Wd had exchanged a sentence once on our 1st year and that's it. I spent a few days observing her and noticed that she was a loner, she didn't exactly have friends amongst the classmates, so I thought : "Well that's as good a chance as any.", and started talking to her and walked her home after school. We became friends and were going out daily after school to get a drink somewhere and one day, as I had planned, 2 fellow classmates show up and I tell them to sit with us and so began my act and my strategy on building her a group of friends. The group wasn't too big. It was me, her, the other 2 classmates, a friend of mine and the girl from the 1st year of highschool. We were all classmates so we all had fun and talked and we developed into a true griend group. Well, as good a group as any can be with me in it. Time passed an I noticed I was really not interested in this girl I had set as my target so I just let her go to do her thing and cut my puppet strings there.

I did all of this because I wanted to prove to myself something, I don't even know what it was anymore because it lost value in my eyes and so I just cut my strings on everyone and let them free. My social life was evolving for the better, which was good and all, but my familial life was degrading and devolving at such speeds that weren't even funny anymore.

My father would come drunk, lecture me for hours on end about the most uselss things in existence, and he would always call me names and berate me on everything. He had even come to me with a big kitchen knife pointed at my chest and said : "I will kill you and eat your heart if you dont do what I want"

I am still afraid of him and i still have trauma gron him so I still didn't doubt his words because when your father comes to your room at 10 PM holding a knife to your chest while your back is agains the wall, you then realize that bad things can really be considered good compared to other things.

I was living in fear. Every day I would pretend to be asleep for hours on end so I could avoid him and maybe be spared but that was just wishful thinking.

While my soocial life evolved, my familial life kept devolving. My father would come drunk more often, fight more often with my mother, screm more, curse more and shout more. I was honestly getting pretty fed up with his bullshit. One day, he woke up from his nap and he was still drunk and started lecturing me on what "Sons of bitches, idiots and parasites" every single member of my moms side of the family, my mother included was. I was very pissed and my knuckles had gone wbite form me clenching them that hard.

My mother got home mid lecture and thy started fighting again. First it was just verbal insults and slurs, but it got worse and worse untol my father literaly ran at my mother prepated to choke her.

That.

That was the moment I had my first meltdown in my life. I saw him run and I saw his hands on her throat and I just had one simple directive in my mund telling me one thing : "Whatever made you feel this way must be eliminated"

And that was what I tried to do. I ran and pushed him away from my mother and then punched my dad so hard he crashed into the wall and made a dent. I would probably have killed him there if it wasn't for my father's brother who came to us because of all the noise, stopping me. He tried to get me away from my father and when I did and my father got up and tried to punch me while my uncle was blaming my mom fir the situation, I grabbed both him and my dad and threw them to the wall. I would probably have been bruised because thwy are both fat and I was in complete meltdown just screaming in the rage of years and years of mental torture and violent self loathing which had build up behind the dam and only sought a way out. They eventually split us up and I was crying and yelling. I could barely breathe, my lungs just couldn't take in air fadt enough for my heart which was beating so hard that thunder would sound like a butterfly's wings beating. I opened the windows on my room and put 3 quarters of my body outside the window , risking to fall and die but I didn't care anymore. The rage had subsided, having found an exit and without it to push me, I was just a broken kid that just sought desperately the help which noone gave. Not my parents, not my friends, not even those who considered themselves and to my face said "We are best friends, we help each other". I never got any help and nobody even saw that I broke down. I dropped hint after hint after hint that I needed someone to talk to, someone to say a few words to me, someone to just listen to anything I wanted to say, yet all I got was nothing. I noticed that none of these so called friends or best friends care about anything. Thwy didn't even notice that when I took my shirt off to change for PE, I had bruises in my back and chest. Nobody said anything or did anything so i also did nothing.

Everybody just seemed to go on their own way and nobody wanted to even acknowledge what had happened or what help I needed.

I am still bitter and mad at everyone but especually at my "best friend" to whom I say the following :

V. You know who this account belongs to. You know me in real life and you know I'm not lying because I don't waste my time like that. You know damn well that if yku read this entire thing and see things just a small 1(one) percent of how I saw things, you wouldn't call youself my acquaintance, let alone my best friend.

To anyone that made it to the end and actually read it, please realize that no matter what, no matter where, you cannot rely on those you consider dear without knowing for certain that they also consider you dear.

[oliviastan17]

Stuck (3/?) Vegas Part 1

Length: 2.5k 

Warnings: Language, drinking, gambling, fluff, smut

A/n: Seb in this shirt inspired this smut. GIF not mine. DO NOT POST TO ANY OTHER WEBSITE. Reblog please! There will be a Vegas Part 2!

Liv was exhausted but her mind was keeping her from falling asleep. She just worked 4 12’s in a row and she should have been able to fall asleep quickly. She had been tossing and turning in bed for about an hour when she heard Sebastian unlocking her front door.

With her apartment dark he quietly walked in, put his bag down, and shoes off.

“I’m awake,” she said quietly.

“Sorry. Dinner ran late,” he said taking his clothes until he was only in his underwear. He lifted the blankets up and lay down on his side of the bed. They had been together for 3 months and hadn’t spent a night apart so sides of the bed had been determined a long time ago.

“Sorry I didn’t want to go,” she said scooting over to be closer to him.

“You’re tired, I get it,” he said lifting his arm up so she could snuggle up in the nook of his neck where she fit perfectly. He brought his hand up to cup her face and leaned his head down to kiss her.

“I can’t fall asleep. My mind is racing,” she said after taking a deep breath.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Do you have any regrets?”

“Where did that come from?”

“I’ve had this patient for 2 weeks and his response every time I ask him how he is doing is ‘I’ve got no regrets so I can’t complain.’ I’ve been thinking about regrets a lot today.”

“Do you have any?”

“Yeah, I think if I could go back and change anything I would have handled things with my dad better.” 

Liv had a complicated relationship with her dad. He wasn’t the kind of dad to say “I love you” or even hug or kiss his kids and she had always held that against him. A few years ago they had gotten into a fight where Liv let out a lifetime of frustration on him and said some things she knew really hurt him.

“But you and your dad are okay now.”

“I guess. I mean we aren’t close and probably never will be but I still regret what I said to him. What about you?”

“I don’t think I have any regrets. Everything I have done has led me to be right here so it’s hard to regret any of it, you know. I worry about regretting things in the future though.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like I worry about missing out on something because I made a wrong decision or not getting to do everything I want to do cause I ran out of time. Shit like that.”

“My patient is just always so happy. He’s really sick but always smiling. Maybe it’s the no regrets lifestyle and I should try it out.”

“Maybe we should.”

“Love you,” she said as she settled in his arms.

“Love you,” he said as he kissed her forehead.

Liv was finally able to drift off soon after. Maybe it was due to talking about what was bothering her or Sebastian’s calming presence. Whatever it was, she was thankful. Her question got Sebastian thinking about regrets and him not wanting to have them as he tried to fall asleep.  He came up with a plan he would share with Liv in the morning.

----------------------------

Sebastian wasn’t in her apartment when Liv woke up and she figured he had probably gone to the gym or something. She was a little confused 30 minutes later when he burst through her front door with his suitcase rolling in behind him.

 “I need you to pack a bag,” he said walking towards her and smiling big with excitement.

“Pack for what?”

“I’m calling it The No Regrets Tour and our flight leaves in 3 hours,” he said after checking his watch.

“No Regrets Tour? Where are we going?”

“You know last night I was thinking about regretting things because I didn’t have time to do it or go to that place and my first thought was we should go to Australia but since we only have a few days I went with our second travel destination.”

“You want to go to Vegas? Today?”

“You up for it? You think you can handle all this sexiness in Vegas?” he asked jokingly gesturing to his glorious body.

“Honey, I think you need to worry about handling all of me when I am in Vegas,” she told him with a wink. She could almost see the wheels turning in his head while he smiled big as he thought about her response.

“This is quickly turning into my best idea ever!” he said kissing her.

 -----------------------------------------------

“Traveling with you has its perks Seb,” Liv said as she looked around the suite he had booked and thinking about the first class tickets, the town car that was waiting for them at the airport, entering the hotel through the back entrance, and then the quick check in.

“You like it?”

“You did good,” she said and then wrapped her arms around him as they looked out the window at the Las Vegas strip.

“Oh, look. Thunder from Down Under,” he said pointing at the large billboard advertising the show. “That could count as a little bit of Australia.”

Liv laughed.

“I came here for my 21st birthday with my mom and we stayed here one night and then she transferred us to the Wynn because people shutting doors were waking her up. Well, that’s what she says anyway. I think she just really wanted to stay at the Wynn. Such a diva,” she said obviously joking.

Sebastian laughed while he snaked his hands around her waist to pull her closer and she brought her arms up to circle his shoulders as she kissed him.

Liv’s phone rang at the same exact time as there was a knock at the door.

“That’s our bags,” he grunted out as he unwrapped his arms from around her and then went to answer the door.

“Speak of the diva,” she said as she answered the FaceTime on her phone. “Hey Mom.”

“Hey, how's my favorite daughter?

"You say that to your other daughter, too. Don't act like we don't know."

"I just saw your Instagram. You didn’t tell me you were going out of town.”

“It was very last minute. When did you get Instagram?”

“Your Aunt Kathy let’s me use hers. So where’d you go?”

“Just took a quick trip,” Liv said flipping the camera to show the Las Vegas strip view.

“Oh now I’m jealous! Where are you staying?”

“At my favorite. The Bellagio,” Liv replied flipping the camera back around.

“Did you warn Sebastian how loud it is? Oh there he is!" she said seeing him walk in the background. "Sebastian, did she tell you how loud it is there?”

“Yes, she did,” he said stepping into full view of the camera. “I was actually thinking about switching to the Wynn,” he said and then took a playful elbow to his stomach from Liv.

“See Liv? I told you I thought he looked smart didn’t I?”

“That’s not the word you used Mom.”

“Well, anyways have a good time! You’re coming for dinner next weekend right? You too Sebastian?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he assured her.

“Bye Mom,” Liv said and then hung up. “What?” was her follow up question when she saw the smile on his face.

“Your mom loves me.”

“You're the only boyfriend who would talk to her on the phone before actually meeting her.”

“Yeah, I don’t just look smart for nothing.”

“You don't want to know what she actually said. It was wildly inappropriate,” Liv laughed.

 “So what do you want to do first? Drink, shop, eat, gamble?”

“Yes.”

“Which one?”

“You can do all of them all at the same time here. Let me show you how to properly sin.”

 -------------------------------------------

Eight hours and copious amounts of alcohol later they were sitting at a blackjack table. Liv had busted already while Sebastian had the choice of staying at 20 or splitting the 2 10’s. Unsure of how to bet he shot a glance at Liv.

"No regrets tour," she answered shrugging her shoulders. He puckered his lips and nodded his head then added another $100 bet to split the cards. He hit blackjack on both hands with an ace dealt for each.

“No fucking way!” Liv laughed in disbelief.

“You ready to go?” he asked stacking up his chips.

“Yeah.”

He generously tipped the dealer $100 while Liv threw her chips in her bag and then he tossed his chips in with hers.

“How much are you up?” she asked while handing him her phone to hold because she couldn’t zip up her clutch as they walked away.

“Two grand maybe? Who is Poodle?” he asked looking at her ringing phone.

“Alex,” and she followed by answering her phone with, “Anastasia Beaverhausen.” The latter caused Sebastian to do a spit take.

“Hold on, I think I killed Seb,” she laughed.

You need help burying the body?

“Nah, false alarm. You and I can’t sneak away and get married now.”

Is that what you are doing in Vegas?

“What?”

I said what are you doing in Vegas?

“Pursuing my lifelong dream of being in a celebrity sex tape.”

I better get a copy because you sure as shit won’t describe his dick to me.

“We’re going up to the room. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Okay, fuck that Winter Soldier real good!

“Copy that,” she said rolling her eyes and hanging up.

“I’m really glad you brought up a sex tape cause I brought my camera and uh...” he teased raising his eyebrows as they waited for the elevator.

Liv playfully pushed him away.

As soon as the doors to the elevator closed Sebastian had her pinned against the wall, kissing her with his hands roaming all over her body. She thought about stopping him but then she decided “fuck it.” This is Las Vegas and they would not be the first couple to get a little handsy in the elevator. Neither one of them noticed the doors had opened on their floor until the people waiting for the elevator cleared their throats.

“Sorry, she just won’t stop attacking me in elevators,” he said grabbing Liv’s hand and leading the way out of the elevator.

“Oh my god. Lies!” Liv responded.

“Hey man, aren’t you Bucky?” the man asked as they passed him.

Sebastian stopped walking, turned around and said, “Who the hell is Bucky?”

“No way!” the man said with excitement. “Can I get a picture?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Sebastian took a picture with the man and his girlfriend who clearly had no idea who he was.

“Awesome! Thank you so much!”

“Yeah, no worries!  Have a good night!” he said as he put his arm around Liv and began walking down the hall to their suite.

“Who is Bucky?” Liv had to ask.

“That’s who I play in the Cap movies,” he said stopping at the door and putting the key card in.

“I thought you were the Winter Soldier?”

“I’m both. It’s the same person.”

“You have multiple personalities?”

“What? No! Why isn’t this working?” he said putting the key in for the 4th time and seeing the same red light appear.

Liv turned to look at the door and then saw the room number. “Shit! This is not our room number, “she laughed.

The door suddenly opened and the obviously annoyed occupant asked, “Can I help you?”

“Oh fuck! I’m so sorry! Wrong room.”

The only response they got was the door being shut.

Liv was in a ball of drunken laughter on the floor as she pointed to the room across the hall. He was laughing almost as hard as she was as he tried the key in that one and it worked on the first try.

“Come on,” he said holding his hand out to help Liv up and then pulled her inside. “God damn hotel. Why would they switch the rooms like that?” 

Something in Liv switched when she walked into the suite. She heard him say something as he shut the door but honestly could not have cared less what it was. She noted it was something that he must have amused himself with because he was smiling his goofy smile when she turned around.

She dropped her purse on the ground while kicking off her shoes, grabbed Sebastian by the collar of his shirt and pulled his lips down to hers with her hand on the back of his neck. His smile got wider against her lips as he wrapped his arms around her. She started gently pushing him in the opposite direction of the bedroom so he pulled away.

“Other wa-“ he said but was cut off by her shoving him up against the door. Oh! It’s going to be one of those nights. He smiled knowingly and excitedly.

She brought her lips back up to his hurriedly and he responded passionately while unzipping her dress and pushing the straps down so it fell to the floor. She slipped her hands up his burgundy shirt and he quickly removed it. Her hands briefly grazed the nape of his neck while she slipped her tongue past his lips. She let her hands feel all the way down his chest, to his abs and down to undo his pants. He moaned as she slid her hand into his boxer briefs and stroked his rapidly enlarging cock.

She broke the kiss to kiss down his body until she was down of her knees pulling his pants down and wasted no time before gently sucking the precum off his tip.

He sighed “Fuck” as she moved her mouth up and down his shaft stopping to swirl her tongue around the tip before resuming the motion. Alternating between fast and slow head bobbing following her mouth with her hand had him rapidly approaching his release.

He bent down placing his hands on her arms bringing her back up and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She brought one leg up knowing his next action and he held onto it so she could bring the other leg up to wrap around his waist.

With his pants still around his ankles and his lips finding hers again, he shuffled into the other room and collapsed on top of her on the bed. He stood back up to step out of his pants while taking her underwear off, then climbed back on top and positioned himself to thrust into her but was stopped when she flipped him over to be on top and guided him into her core. His hands gripped her hips tightly as she moved up and down until she grabbed his wrists and moved his arms up above his head, entwining her fingers with his and kissing him deeply. It was all tongue and nibbles on his lips until she was clenching around him and moaning his name.

He quickly grabbed her hips again and rolled her over, then wasted no time before pounding into her fast and deep until he felt her back arch and clench around him again. A few thrusts later he came.

He hovered above her and murmured, "God, I love you,” before bringing his lips back onto hers.

When he finally broke the kiss she replied, "Love you too.”

Vegas Part 2

Permanent tags

@sideeffectsofyou​ @thejemersoninferno​ @vania-marie​ @sophiesvalkyrie​

@swanlakemikey​ @hm-fck​ @beaubucky​ @allsortsofinterests​

Stuck tags

@essie1876​  @thummbelina​

[oscars-wifeyyy]

Mother Hen Chapter Three

Prologue || Chapter 1 || Chapter 2

A dull ache hit Lilo when her senses started to wake up and start to stretch themselves out on the couch that she slept on. There was no room to sleep since it was the day before her last first day of high school that she will ever have so she stood up only to see Cesar on the floor with her, knocked out, cuddling with Oscar and the sight almost made her let out a laugh. She caught it and took her phone to take a few pictures before letting out her laugh, causing the brothers to wake up before jerking away from each other once they realized that they were really close together.

“Aye, fool. What the fuck?” Oscar glared at his younger brother.

“Nah, homie, that was all you!” Cesar retorted.

Cesar was next to Lilo against the couch so he put an arm around her and laid his head on her shoulder. The girl rolled her eyes and stood up, letting Cesar fall to the ground, to go to the kitchen and make everybody breakfast.

“What do you guys want for breakfast?” Lilo called out as she took out the eggs and bacon from Oscar’s fridge.

Oscar came from the living room and put the ingredients back into the fridge, “I’m taking us out for breakfast so go and change. Cesar and I will be over in 30 minutes,”

Lilo shook her head negatively, “We got our first day in two days, O,” Lilo caught a glimpse of Cesar ready to protest, “Cesar, I swear if you complain I am going to beat the shit out of you,”

That caused Cesar to keep his mouth shut and make his way to his room so he could get ready for the day. It was his last couple days of freedom before the first day of high school so he had to have fun before going into homework and teenage things, but before he could walk inside and after Lilo left, he stared at his brother with a smirk.

Oscar rolled his eyes, “Que?”

“Nada. Just that you got a crush on the girl next door,” Cesar walked to his room.

“No me gusta, loco,” Oscar glared, “I’m just trying to be nice, mano. She did take care of you when I was locked up,”

Cesar closed the door to put on a new shirt and pants and brush his teeth while Oscar scoffed and did the same. The thing that Lilo didn’t know about is that while she fell asleep on the couch, Cesar was getting jumped in last night and the crew found out so he winced at the bruises that were left behind. The brothers were ready 15 minutes later and were walking to their friend’s place, but the door opened and the 5’4” girl came out with a halter top and high-waisted shorts and black and white high tops. Oscar was taken by surprise by the sudden appearance from the girl that he had a bet going on with. She was beyond beautiful and they were only going to stay in and cook breakfast and chill on the porch, but Oscar felt something in his chest that felt like a burn. Jealousy and anger.

The three went inside Lilo’s house and began grabbing random breakfast items out of the refrigerator to make their own breakfast item. However, the moment that they were finished with the product it didn’t look appetizing so they made scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon. When they were finished with their food and doing the dishes, they went out to the front yard of the Diaz household. Despite it being 10 am there were a lot of homies and a couple cholas that were cool enough to hang with the guys, but one of them got brave and decided to go for Oscar.

“Hey, Oscar,” she bit her lip, trying to be seductive, “you look good,”

Oscar chuckled, “thanks, but I know you messed with half of the homies and I ain’t trying to get nobody’s sloppy seconds,”

The chola immediately gave him the stank face as the other homies started laughing and walked away from the house. Cesar was laughing with Lilo on the couch while the chola went farther from the house. The conversation started flowing as they got comfortable and began messing around, but Cesar purposefully made Lilo sit on the edge of the couch, closer to Oscar while he was working out. Lilo caught a glimpse of two of her close friends across the street in a conversation that looked heated so she decided to stay back.

“Aye, hermosa. Why don’t you give me a kiss every rep?” Oscar leaned forward toward Lilo.

Lilo immediately rolled her eyes, “I know you messed around with half of these girls in Freeridge. I don’t want anybody’s sloppy seconds,”

Oscar smirked, “I see you using my words against me,”

That was when Monse started walking towards, what Lilo assumed, to Cesar. Oscar set the weights down and put his elbows on his knees to see what the curly-haired freshman had to say to his brother.

“I need to speak with you,” Monse stood her ground despite the many eyes looking at her.

Cesar shrugged, “I’m listening,”

She started looking around at the other cholos, “Privately?”

Cesar licked his lips, “yea, we can go inside,” he was interrupted by Oscar clearing his throat, “but if you want to sit on my face, you gotta put that mouth on pause so I can concentrate,”

Monse immediately looked horrified while the cholos were laughing before snapping her attention to Lilo who was already in action. Lilo stood up and slapped Cesar across the face and punched Oscar’s cheek again.

“Cesar Roberto Diaz, you need to respect women and I swear if I come back and you say that shit again I will beat the shit out you,” she then turned to Oscar, “don’t fucking talk to me, puto,” to the homies, “y’all just suck,”

Lilo ignored Cesar’s and Oscar’s calls as she walked with Monse and Jamal and listened to her rant. “Cesar is dead to me!”

“Told ya,” Jamal said as he rolled in the grass to keep up the facade that he was on the team to his father.

“Jamal, baby, why don’t you just tell your parents that you don’t want to play football,” Lilo groaned.

Monse continued her rant, “he doesn’t break up with us, we’re breaking up with him! ‘Sit on my face’? Who says that?”

Jamal was behind the bushes changing, “chairs who can talk and buttholes!”

“I wouldn’t put dumb crap like that past Oscar, but Cesar? What happened to him? He’s gotta be hitting the pipe, right?” She took a pause, “right,”

“Could be,” Jamal jumped from one grass yard to the grass closer to the street.

“That was totally out of character,” Monse finished her rant only to turn and see Jamal throwing leaves up, “What are you doing?”

“He still hasn’t told his parents that he quit the football team,” Lilo said as Jamal said hi to his dad.

“Monse!Lilo!” Dwayne chuckled, “welcome back, Monse. You ready for the new year, you two?” he gave both of them a hug.

“Bound to be a lot of surprises,” Monse replied.

“Heck, yeah. I’m graduating and going to JC after,” Lilo smiled.

Dwayne switched his attention to his son, “how was practice?”

Jamal threw his bag on Monse as she repeated the question, “I don’t know. Ask all those D1 scouts who were all up on me,”

Dwayne laughed and dapped Jamal up, “that’s my boy!” before leaving the three kids.

Lilo zoned out of the conversation until Monse’s proposal to Jamal, “...unless you drop the 411 about Cesar. What did he say?” Jamal denied, “Yes! Mr. Turn-”

Jamal stuck a hand out and covered Monse’s mouth, “Cesar said that you let him hit it before you left for camp,”

Lilo winced at the look that Monse was giving Jamal before bidding the two bye and leaving to go to her place. The moment that she was in front of the house, Cesar ran up to her to try to apologize.

“Salad boy, stop. Monse knows that you said you hit it, but tell me was it the truth or not?” Cesar looked down and nodded, “ok. Look I’m gonna sleep and you should too. I’ll see you tomorrow,” The two parted ways and went into their respective home, falling into a deep slumber with a hope that it will be better the next day.

The next day came faster than expected and was spent with Lilo’s cleaning chores and music blasting to help her clean. It wasn’t until 8 at night that she was done with cleaning so to get some fresh air, she decided to hang with the Santos for a little before going to sleep for school. Lilo leaned forward on the ledge with her forearms as she watched Cesar skate, but she felt Oscar’s stare on her ass so to win the bet they had she popped it out in a subtle way, but Oscar knew. In retaliation, Oscar grabbed a handful of her ass and that caused Lilo to gasp and turn to the culprit who wore a smirk.

“Really, ‘Scar?”

Oscar shrugged with a smirk as Cesar skated up to them and stopped to take a swig of his 40. The cholo noticed Monse coming closer, but didn’t say anything to Cesar because he noticed how mad the freshman looked. Monse immediately pushed Cesar of his skateboard and began punching him from all sides as Lilo started to get past the cholos to push her off, but the moment she heard one of them comment that Monse could be a freak in the sheets, she immediately turned her attention to him.

“Puto, if you don’t shut the fuck up I will punch the shit out of you,” Lilo sneered, causing the cholo to lift his hands in surrender.

“Hermanito, you better back up or you gonna get smacked up,” Oscar let out the smoke.

“Shut up, puto,” Monse yelled as Lilo yelled, “Oscar, shut the fuck up,”

Lilo immediately went back to the situation at hand and grabbed Monse with the help of the two other freshmen and pushed her towards them to diffuse the situation. The cholos started barking as Ruby and Jamal started talking to Monse while Lilo grabbed Cesar’s arm and pulled him up. The three outsiders were arguing in front of the cholos with Lilo by Cesar’s side and a cholo’s arm around Cesar’s shoulder. While everyone was occupied by the fight, Oscar pulled Lilo back by her shirt and lazily put his arm around her shoulders.

The next day came around and Lilo was ready by 6:30 am so she walked to the Diaz household to wait for Cesar to walk with the squad since she knows that they talked last night. Cesar was walking around shirtless and a toothbrush in his mouth while Oscar was still asleep in his bed so to mess around with Cesar and Oscar she sat her bag down on the couch and jumped out at Cesar.

“What the fuck, Lo!” Cesar yelled.

Lilo shushed him and went to Oscar’s room only to find him and another bitch in his bed so she smirked and clapped her hands. It woke him up so he jerked and grabbed the gun under the bed, pointing it at the senior who smirked.

“Hey, Oscar. Just wanted to check in and say hi to you and your one night stand,” Lilo walked out to his groan.

Cesar was done by then and walked out with Lilo to see the squad outside. The five of them started walking as Jamal was talking about his inability to keep secrets, but the familiar sound of an engine filled her ears and she turned to see Oscar with one of the cholos. She didn’t know how fast he got ready or where the other guy came from, but he was there and he called Cesar and Lilo. The two shared looks with the squad as they got into the impala and drove away to school.

It was after school and everyone was in Ruby’s house discussing things that didn’t connect with Lilo so she yelled for everyone to stop and tell her what was going on.

“We’re getting Cesar out of the gang,” Monse replied.

Lilo turned to Cesar, “you got jumped in?” before turning to the other three and started laughing with Cesar, “you guys, you can’t get Cesar out of the gang. Cesar why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’ll explain later, ma,” Cesar sighed, “you’re serious,”

The group nodded, but Lilo and Cesar weren’t having it, “there is no out! You’re being naive. Once you’re jumped in, you can’t get out. Unless, you get jumped out and that’s not an option,”

“Why not?” Jamal questioned.

“You get beat to death, J” Lilo chuckled, “alright, guys. You can continue trying to find a solution to something that is impossible and I will talk to Oscar who is gonna get his ass beat right now,”

Cesar immediately jumped up, “No, Lilo! You can’t get hurt,”

“C, I’ll be ok. I’m a fighter, literally,” Lilo walked out and to the house that sat next to her own., “Oscar, bring your ass over here,”

“What, pendeja,” Oscar groaned.

“Don’t call me that. The fuck were you thinking, jumping Cesar into the gang?” Lilo yelled.

“It’s in our blood, Lilo! It was bound to happen sooner or later,” Oscar glared.

“It don’t fucking matter though!” Lilo threw her hands up, “He wants to become an architect so let him lead a life outside of this,”

“The cuchillos wanted it and I can’t defy them!” Oscar yelled.

Lilo sighed, “now that I understand. I’m sorry, ‘Scar, but Cesar is too soft for this shit,”

Oscar sighed before nodding and hugging Lilo, who wrapped her arms around his torso too. The two moved to the couch with Oscar sitting up and Lilo straddling him to be able to wrap her arms around his neck to rest his head on her chest while raking her nails across his bald head, but the stress about Cesar and everything caught up to them and they fell asleep like that. Half an hour passed and Cesar walked through the front door to see the two laying down on the couch and cuddling so he quietly shut the door and went to his room.

Lilo woke up to something holding her ass so she turned to see she was laying on Oscar and it was near the time that she had to wake up to get ready for school. She laid a kiss on his cheek and walked out to her house. It always took her an hour and a half to get ready for school because she loved morning showers so after her shower, she went to her closet and grabbed dark, ripped high-waisted boyfriend jeans, her belt, and a crop top with her white crew socks. She immediately put them on and grabbed her low top Old Skool Sk8 shoes with flames on the sides to go meet with Cesar and Oscar.

After school, Cesar and Lilo were driving with Loco, a Santo, when they saw Monse and Jamal walking together so they motioned for Loco to slow down. The three of them were talking until it was decided that Cesar was going to “help” with fixing Ruby’s room and Lilo was forced to tag along. A short 5 minutes later, they reached Ruby’s place and rang the doorbell only to see Ruby stick his head out the door.

“We’re here to feng shui your room!” Monse stuck her arms out, “that’s why we’re here,”

“I don’t have my own room, but…” Ruby walked out and ushered the other four on his doorstep backward, “I have a boner,” Monse immediately took a step back with a look of disgust, “My cousin just moved in. Not like my cousin cousin, like, ‘What's up, cuz?’ You know, like fam, but not fam,”

“Like if you can’t keep it in your pants, keep it in the family,” Cesar chuckled.

Ruby didn’t fully process what Cesar said so he responded, “Exactly,” the short freshmen had to do a double take, “no! Not exactly, there is no blood relation, no inbreeding. Oh, call me Ruben now,”

Geny yelled from inside the house, “Ruby! Are you forgetting something? Guys, this is Olivia,” she gently pushed the new girl towards the group, “she’ll be staying with us for a while, ok,”

Geny went back inside, leaving the new girl to watch the three boys staring at her with mouths open while the girls of the group rolled their eyes. “Is it just me or did things just get weird?” Olivia fidgeted.

Monse and Lilo stepped forward, “It’s you. I’m Monse and this is Lilo,” Lilo waved and continued with the introductions, “this is Jamal and Cesar,”

Olivia stared at Cesar, “hey,”

Lilo slapped Cesar on the back of the head, “Ignore the stares. They haven’t been neutered,” Olivia chuckled.

“Jamal, why don’t you tell Olivia what you didn’t do to your neck?” Monse grabbed Ruby’s arm, “Ruby, can we discuss our chem assignment?”

Ruby walked backwards while checking Olivia out while Lilo laughed at the freshman, but stopped when she realized Cesar was showing off to Olivia. Lilo glared at her closest friend and slapped his stomach hard while Jamal just pretended like his neck was hurting. She was about to give Cesar and earful, but Ruby’s voice broke her train of thought.

“I’m saving Cesar!”

Monse gave Ruby a death glare, Jamal looked at Ruby with a confused look while Cesar and Lilo looked at Monse with a look of disappointment. When everyone went home, Cesar went with Lilo to her place, after talking to Oscar about Ruby meeting with him, so he could call Ruby to talk about his meeting with Oscar tomorrow morning. Cesar had his phone on speaker so Lilo could listen in to what they were gonna talk about.

“You know I’m not blessing this, but Monse won’t relent and she absolutely cannot be the one to do it. I think Oscar will go easiest on you, especially given his respect for Mario,” Cesar put a hand through his hair.

“But when you say he’ll go easy, what do you mean?”

Cesar sat up on Lilo’s bed, “I mean, he probably won’t hurt you,”

“Is there a good, like, happy time for him? I mean some people aren’t morning people,” Ruby freaked out.

Lilo sighed, “Just do it before school. I’ll be there with you if you want,”

“Ok. When should we do this? A couple days? A week?”

“Tomorrow,” Cesar firmly said, “He’s expecting you. Don’t be late. Good night,”

“Good...night,” Ruby sighed.

Cesar hung up the phone and looked at Lilo with an exasperated expression, but she shook her head. The two of them went to sleep and waited for the next day to come, but couldn’t wait until tomorrow was over. Next morning came way too fast for anyone and the iconic duo were up and ready to go so they went to the porch to wait for Ruby then saw Monse and Olivia. Lilo walked to the Impala after seeing Ruby rushing to the Diaz residence and pacing back and forth.

“Ay, Santa Maria,” Ruby prayed before trying to walk in.

“Rubes, you got this. I’ll be right there with you,” Lilo sighed and pulled him by wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

Ruby looked like he was getting anxious while looking around the backyard, but stopped when he saw the bin of acid, “I can’t. I can’t. I can’t,” he turned and started walking away.

“Ruby, get your ass back here,” Lilo sighed and leaned against the broken down car, seeing Oscar walk out of the shack.

Oscar threw his finished cigarette down, turning to see the short freshman walking away, “‘Sup, fool?”

Ruby slowly turned around and started walking back while Oscar advanced towards him with two bins so they could sit. Lilo walked further into the yard with Ruby and sat on the stack of tires while staring at Oscar’s shirtless body with his Dickies shorts and long socks with his high-top converse. He had a scowl on his face, looking at Ruby, who was beyond intimidated.

Oscar started leaning in closer to inspect Ruby’s face, “What’s with the glitter?”

“Late night at the club. You know how hynas be,” Ruby tried to play it cool, but it caused Lilo to laugh and almost fall of the tires.

Oscar chuckled, “I feel you, homie. Sometimes my ruca wears the same shit. She be rubbing all up on me. I can’t get that crap out for days,”

“Homie, you ain’t got a ruca,” Lilo chuckled, “I beat her up and you broke up with her over the phone,”

Ruby shrugged, “Women,” Oscar offered him a cigarette.

“Uh, no. Spooky, don’t you dare give him a cigarette and, Ruby, say that shit around me again and I will beat the shit out of you,” Lilo hopped off the tires and took the cigarette.

Lilo put her hand out for a lighter while Oscar was talking to Ruby, “whatcha wanna chop it up about?”

Ruby looked terrified, “Um, Mr. Oscar,” Oscar raised an eyebrow, “I mean, Spooky. I know you’re a busy man, so I’ll cut right to it. Is that acid?” Lilo slapped the back of Ruby’s head and took the lighter that Oscar had in his hand to light her cigarette, “you know what? Don’t answer. None of my business,” Ruby took a breath, “so, Cesar. I mean, can we just talk about how smart he is? You know, I’m smart, but he’s like...a certifiable genius. He has off the charts emotional intelligence, which is rare, combine that with his innate ability to empathize and problem solve and you get the real deal. A natural leader,” Ruby felt more confident, “which is a testament to you and how well you raised him,” Lilo felt offended, but was taken by surprise by Oscar’s sudden grip on her and the force taken to make her sit on his lap.

Oscar nodded, “I feel you, homie,”

Ruby continued, “so, what I’m saying is, he has so much potential that hasn’t been realized. He’s just a baby bird waiting to take flight. Who knows how high a bird can fly given the right wind and lack of avian predators,”

“I never look at him that way,” Oscar said.

Lilo was in disbelief in what Ruby was saying because she only knew that this would only speed up the process and Ruby was only digging a deeper grave for Cesar without knowing it.

“‘Cause he’s not one to toot his own horn. Yet another one of his many attributes,” Ruby smiled.

“You’re right. He justs needs to be given that right opportunity, with good wind and no vultures and shit,” Oscar leaned forward a little bit.

“Well, vultures are more like scavengers. I was thinking hawks,” Ruby said.

“Hawks can suck a dick!” Oscar yelled.

Ruby leaned back, “exactly. I mean, you feeling me Spook,” Ruby immediately corrected himself, “Spooky,”

“Yeah, mos’ def’. You opening my eyes, homes,”

Ruby scoffed, “that’s what I do. You know...I will take that smoke,”

Oscar moved Lilo to sit on his left leg to fish out his carton of smokes to give one to Ruby, but Lilo didn’t say anything this time since she already knew that Ruby never smoked in his life. “Time to give Cesar his wings,” Oscar said, taking back his lighter from Lilo to light his then moved it to Ruby’s cigarette.

Ruby immediately started coughing which caused Lilo to burst out laughing at the younger boy trying to disguise his coughing fit from the big, bad leader. 

“You all right there?” Oscar asked while Ruby nodded.

Ruby immediately walked away, leaving Lilo to smoke with Oscar. The two people just sat in silence, but after a few minutes Lilo started talking.

“This is the last time you show any type of interest in me,” Lilo blew out smoke, “I’m done with this bet, Spooky. I don’t have feelings for you and I don’t want to be played,”

Lilo stood up and started walking away to start her journey to school, but Oscar stopped her, “I’m gonna take you to school. We gotta chop it up about this,” Oscar went inside to throw on a wife beater and opened the Impala.

Lilo sat on the passenger seat, “There is nothing to chop it up about. I said what I said, especially after what I ran into a couple days ago,”

“Lilo, we can be friends. Maybe even be best friends, homie,” Oscar smirked at the senior as they stopped in front of the school.

“Sure, whatever. I guess you’re my best friend then,” Lilo laughed and walked inside.

TAG LIST (reblog to be apart of the taglist)

@regularsmegulargirl   @fabulousqueen​

[hms-chill]

Hey! I absolutely love your writing and saw you wanted a prompt or two. I found this one and it would be adorable with Alex and Henry so here: “You sat next to me on the airplane and fell asleep on my shoulder and I don’t want to move you cause you look so comfortable. Oh and you’re hot.” (if you want to write it of course but you totally don't have to I just thought it would be cute) 💕💕💕

Hello! Thank you so much! It’s been like a week but I just turned in my last midterm for the week and I finally have time to post what I wrote! 

(also, I wrote this twice because I had two ideas. The second version will be another post soon)

“Variations on a Plane: Meet Cute”

Alex hoists his carry on into the overhead bin, then does an awkward shuffle down the row and into his window seat, stuffing a backpack below the seat in front of him and shoving it back as far as it will go to make room for his feet. He’s already started to browse the in-flight movie options when someone sits down next to him. From the corner of his eye, Alex sees jeans rolled up at the bottom kicking a bag with a pronoun pin further under the seat. From what he can tell, his gaydar has been working decently in the UK, and those are both good signs.

“Anything good on?” the other boy asks, and Alex realizes he doesn’t have his headphones in. Not that it matters; he would have wanted to talk anyway. He notices suddenly that the other boy smells good. He’d been worried about his seat mate smelling bad, but he’d completely forgotten to consider the possibility of the opposite, which may be even more unsettling.

“Depends what you like. There’s a few superhero movies, some cartoons… it looks like a decent selection.”

The stranger nods, turning to his screen. Alex goes back to browsing until, a few minutes later, the in-flight safety demonstration pauses their screens. Alex sighs and rolls his eyes, but the stranger leans over to ask, “Have you seen this?”

“What, the safety demonstration? I flew over here, didn’t I?”

“No, this movie. I’m trying to decide if it looks good.”

Alex cranes his neck to look at the other man’s screen, ignoring the notice telling them to watch the flight attendant buckle and unbuckle a seatbelt. “Yeah, it was good. Not like… jaw dropping, best movie I’ve ever seen good, but I liked it.”

“Thanks.”

The safety demonstration ends, and their screens unpause as they begin to taxi. Alex browses until takeoff, when he turns to the window. He leans back a bit when the boy beside him looks over his shoulder, and together, they watch London fall away below them.

“This bit never gets old. I’m always a bit sad to see it go, but the city looks so beautiful.” Alex has to agree. They’ve got a horrendously early flight, but seeing London all lit up from above almost makes it worth it.

“Have you flown out of London a lot?”

“Whenever I fly it’s from here. My family lives nearby, and I went to Uni in London.”

“It’s a nice city.”

They watch together until London becomes merely a bright dot against the darkness of the English countryside. The other boy pulls away first, putting in earbuds and starting the movie Alex said was good. Alex starts his own moving not long after, trying to ignore the handsome boy next to him, resisting the urge to make sure he’s liking the movie. The stewardess comes out with snacks, and Alex gets coffee, hoping the second dose of caffeine will turn him into a being who is more human than simply an embodiment of exhaustion. The boy next to him gets tea, which is very British, and Alex tries not to find it at all endearing.

The in-flight map shows them just leaving Wales when Alex feels a weight on his shoulder. Something soft is tickling the side of his jaw. He turns slowly to see the other boy asleep, his head flopped onto Alex’s shoulder. His movie’s still playing, and Alex knows there’s an explosion coming. The loud noise could wake the other boy up, so Alex leans over to pause the movie, careful not to jostle his new passenger too much. If this stranger is tired enough to fall asleep on someone else on a plane, he deserves the nap, and letting him sleep is the least Alex can do.

He sleeps through most of Alex’s movie, and Alex finds himself humming softly when they hit some minor turbulence. The other boy starts to wake up a bit, but he settles down with Alex’s humming, letting out a soft snore. Alex just smiles, counting it as a success. He sleeps until the cabin staff start wheeling the breakfast carts down the aisle, when Alex shakes his shoulder gently and says, “Hey, they’re bringing food. You’ll need to let them know what you want.”

“Huh? Oh, oh no, I’m… I’m so sorry.” He’s turned a fantastic shade of red, but Alex shakes his head.

“No; it’s fine. Don’t be sorry. I’m glad I make a good pillow, though I have to admit, I’m a bit insulted my movie suggestion wasn’t good enough to keep you awake.”

“I’m so sorry. It’s… I’ve been up late recently, and it was an early flight, so I got like two hours of sleep… I’m so embarrassed.”

“Don’t be. We’ve all been there, and I didn’t mind. If… if you still need sleep after breakfast, and if you only got a couple hours last night you definitely will, you’re welcome to use my shoulder again. We can even use one of these mini pillows to make it more comfortable.”

“I’ll… I’ll try my best not to take you up on that, but it’s been a lot recently, so I can’t promise anything.” He might be trying to make a joke, but it’s not convincingly light-hearted enough.

“That’s okay. If… Would it help to talk about it? Whatever’s been a lot, I mean. If you want, I’m here, you can just unload it all on me and then we’ll get off this plane and never see each other again.”

“It… it really is a lot. I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

“No; go for it. I’m in a gap between stressful things. I can handle it.”

So they get their meals, and the other boy tells him that he’s traveling to do research on queer history. He’s gotten an incredibly competitive grant, and the whole application process was stressful. His family’s been waiting for him to do something with himself since he graduated a few months ago, and that only made the application and waiting process more stressful. Then, in the midst of getting his travel plans and documents together, he came out to his family, and his grandma through a fit. His mom was nice about it but hasn’t been close to them since his dad died, and his older brother stormed out of the house and hasn’t been answering any of his texts or calls. He’s still got his big sister, but he’s terrified he’s lost half his family. He almost gave up the grant to stay home and work things out, but his sister made him keep it, so he left them all behind, and he’s terrified that he did the wrong thing because what if he could have fixed things by staying? Should he have come out at all? Was breaking apart the family he has left really worth it?

By the end of his story, there are tears in his eyes, so Alex offers a shoulder and he sniffles, forcing a bit of a laugh as he hides his face. Alex hands him the breakfast bar that came as part of the meal service and talks about his own coming out, about how scared he was that his Catholic dad especially would be upset, but how they’d taken it well and they love him. Then he hands the other boy his own breakfast bar and talks about how coming out was really the only way he could be close to his family, because you can’t really have a relationship with someone if you’re hiding such a massive thing from them. By the time he’s starting to get into how things are going to get better, the other boy has fallen asleep again, and Alex just smiles as he turns back to his movie, stealing a muffin from the other boy’s breakfast tray.

When the stewardess comes to collect their dishes, she tells Alex that they make a cute couple. There’s really no point in correcting her.

A movie and a half later, there’s an in-flight lunch. The other boy wakes up more easily this time, though he still turns bright red when he realizes he fell asleep again. Alex just grins and makes sure he actually eats most of their lunch, since his breakfast was small. He vows to stay awake and actually watch the movie Alex suggested, and as a joke, Alex leans over to watch with him. But then, well, his shoulder is nice. He’s wearing a soft sweater, and the ball of muscle below it makes a nice pillow. And, well, it was an early flight. Alex was up at 1:30 to make it to the airport by 2:00, and every coffee he’s had since has worn off by now.

The next thing Alex knows, someone’s shaking his shoulder, and his head is bouncing a bit. He opens his eyes to see the other boy chuckling.

“We’re landing soon; I thought you might want to watch. I at least hoped you’d open the window so I could. I hope I was as good of a pillow for you as you were for me.”

“You’re a great pillow,” Alex says, yawning and stretching a bit, then turning to push the window open. “Is DC your final stop?”

“No; I’m on to New York for research on the Stonewall riots. What about you?”

“I’m headed to New York for school. Uni, I guess, for you fancy brits. I’m starting my law degree. Hang on, I’ve got my flight number somewhere. It leaves at like… 9:15ish?”

“So does mine! What a coincidence.”

“Here; give me your number. We can find each other after customs and get coffee or something? Will your phone work in the US?”

“It should connect to the airport’s internet.”

“Perfect; we’ll meet up after customs and get coffee or overpriced food or something.”

They exchange numbers, and on the ground, Alex texts the other boy (‘Henry’, according to the name he put in Alex’s phone) to complain about how long customs is taking. Henry tells him to be patient, and Alex rolls his eyes.

They meet up at a Starbucks near their gate, then again at a coffee shop near Alex’s apartment their first week in New York City. Then again at a coffee shop near where Henry’s living. Then they meet up for dinner and a movie, and when Henry falls asleep in the Uber on the way back to Alex’s apartment, Alex pays the driver to make four trips around the block so he can wake his boyfriend up slowly, reveling in the way Henry’s face is squished against his shoulder and the softness of Henry’s hair on his jaw.

Really, when Henry falls asleep on him looking so good, it’s no wonder Alex fell in love.

[zwantstobe]

I was looking through my notes and found some things I wrote about my classes from the first semester of senior year. I wish I wrote more. But I’m glad I wrote it down, to preserve these memories. Who knew the world could suddenly change?

Note: I’m shortening/abbreviating some names and giving nicknames to preserve their identities.

My brother and I are always running to the bus. There’s only one day where I was able to walk calmly to the bus stop. Sometimes when we’re late my mom or dad or grandma drops us to the stop. It’s dark outside (or light, depending on before daylight savings or after), and the neighborhood is all quiet unless there’s people leaving for work. I get so tired and fatigued. I can’t run the whole journey, I need to walk. I pray that we’ll reach on time. I probably look so stupid running like this, I hope everyone is sleeping instead of staring at me out their window. Sometimes I talk to SBR and my brother’s friend, MHD, at the stop, exchanging like 10 words total. We’re all tired. SBR is just shy and awkward but he’s still adorable. The bus comes 2 minutes late sometimes. The bus driver is nice, he doesn’t talk much but he’s like a tired bear. I say good morning to him and he says it back. The bus is full but I manage to find a seat. I try and sit as far front as possible. The ride is calm, quiet, bumpy. I lay my head on the seat in front of me sometimes, sometimes I sit there with my eyes closed. I wanna stay riding this bus all day instead of going to school. When we get to school, I say thank you to the bus driver and he mumbles “You’re welcome, have a nice day” and I say “you too” whenever I hear him say it. I wait for Manal to get off the bus and when she does, I give her a big hug. Sometimes she gets off before me and she’s the one waiting for me. Sometimes she doesn’t come on the bus and I don’t know so I awkwardly wait for everyone to get off the bus until I realize she’s not getting off so I just go inside. I sit in my usual seat in the library and Manal is sitting with me most of the time; sometimes Zainab is there, sometimes Mahya is there, sometimes Malaika is there, sometimes Leila is there, sometimes Tommy is there. Sunayna joins me after the bell rings and everyone else is gone.

Off campus. This is the time when I just sit in the library and it’s dark outside (or light outside, depending on which time of the year it is). The library is quiet. Ms B or Ms G or both are at the librarian counter, just doing their thing. Earlier on Ms G’s son is there just running around before she leaves to take him to school. He’s a smart kid. There’s a white board that has a word and we need to find out what other words we can make with those letters. I fill up the board with random jumbles of letters that don’t even form proper words. There’s tubes labeled with different genres of books that you can put a ball in to show you like that genre and sometimes I just go there to fill up the tubes with balls and Ms B glares at me. Sunayna is almost always there and sometimes we have deep conversations about philosophy and life and sometimes it’s the two of us stressing over calculus and English. Leila is there sometimes, and she’s either ranting or watching something or laughing at Sunayna and I for being so stressed over a quiz or a test. We get too loud sometimes and Ms B kinda tells us to shush because people come into the library to study quietly and then there’s us who are way too loud. Sometimes we get kicked out of the library, sometimes for being too loud and sometimes for no reason at all, just that the library is closed for the time being. Zeeshan sometimes makes an appearance because he also has first off. Sometimes I see Mahya and Renelle walking around. I’m always opening the door for people who come in late, and sometimes it’s Zunayra and sometimes it’s Palm Tree (he kinda stopped coming through that door), and back when I had a crush on him I’d always try and run to open the door for him. Sometimes Fatima appears out of nowhere and opens it for him. He doesn’t acknowledge you if you open the door. Ayesha comes at the end of first period and Leila sometimes comes later, if she’s not already there. I usually go to Mr T’s class to say hi to him and to talk with him in the last ten minutes of first period, and Leila and Ayesha and Sunayna come with me most of the time. Sometimes we have interesting conversations.

Calculus. I sit on the far right side of the class next to the wall, so sometimes I just rest my head against the wall. There’s also an outlet there if I want to charge something. That class gave me a lot of stress and anxiety and panic. Sometimes I’m so tired I just end up falling asleep while taking notes and I miss things. I’m always a few seconds late to the class since I’m walking with Ayesha or Leila after first period. The teacher is such a cinnamon roll; she’s this elderly middle aged lady with a son who just got engaged a few days ago and she’s planning on retiring this year since she taught here for more than 30 years, so she has senioritis too. She also works at the main committee for her church and does a bunch of her husband’s work and tries to get as much grading done as possible in one day. She likes to complain but it’s the funny kind of complaining. She probably told a lot of her life story to us. She gives off that Hallmark movie mother vibe, where the mother is all chill and happy and jolly and sweet. The guy who sits behind me, Justin, I think? He’s always 15 minutes late because he parks at the pool parking lot and walks all the way to school. Another guy in class has chickens and pigs at home and he talked about how smart his chickens were. One of the other guys in my class makes dark jokes sometimes and the teacher gets so worried and he’s like “nah! It’s all good!” and she responds by saying he shouldn’t joke about suicide or whatever he’s joking about. Sometimes I know what’s happening in the class, and sometimes (most of the time) I just get depressed over it. And I procrastinate 100% in doing the work for it.

Econ. On the way to this class sometimes I see Manal and Mahya and Vanna. If I wait long enough to go to class Palm Tree walks the opposite way to his class. This class is super chill and usually the lights are off since Mr J is explaining the notes to us. I’m sitting in the back corner with Ayesha, my legs resting on the chair in front of me. I’m eating my breakfast and some of my lunch. Sometimes all of my lunch. Mr J is really sweet and nice and tries to make the class as easy as humanly possible for us. We watch CTV, laugh at all the stupid stuff on it. We watch Abhiram’s short films and try not to laugh. We laugh at the balloon at the front of the class named “Jezegg”. We talk way too much in that class and we watch things and listen to things and quickly do our forensics work and obsess over After Dark. Young Steve Jobs is cute but he’s a jerk, I guess I’m attracted to borderline sociopathic cute jerks. We barely ever pay attention to Mr J and I feel bad because the class has the least amount of work. Everyone’s probably annoyed by all our laughing and talking and randomness but I don’t care because I have the most fun in that class with Ayesha. When we walk out of class Mr J fist bumps us and we encounter Melanie in the hallway, then we see a tired Zainab and she hugs us and she smells like shampoo and she’s adorable. Palm Tree comes this way and I used to get a jump of happiness seeing him but now that my crush on him is gone it’s just a lil jerk of the heart in surprise but that’s it. Ayesha and I part ways and our poop pods (Airpods) disconnect after a few seconds.

I miss everything. I miss all this. Senior year wasn’t the best year but it certainly was eventful - at least in the beginning. Then March came and everything went to crap. But you know what? I’m grateful. I have all these memories to hold onto. I hope we make more memories in the future.

@twinsarekeepers @ayeshintheclouds