#it was different when i had an internship in the kindergarten

[the-travelling-witch]

How would Scaramouche behave with his children (possibly his son) :)

like a good dad :)

sorry, i already said it but children aren’t exactly my favourite topic and as a man in his early twenties (to me), scara just isn’t the ultimate dad; i tried my best to indulge the other asks but i don’t really want to turn this into a thing

[theweirdgoodbyes]

“C’mon, lemme help you. You’re breakin’ my heart.”

It’s a Thursday night, the Eagles are playing against the Patriots, and Babe Heffron is one miserable son of a bitch. He had called Bill for an emergency meeting after a particularly gruesome day at work, which including him chasing a student eloping out of the building and down the streets of Philadelphia in 15 degree weather. Why administration hadn’t listened to him about needing locks on his doors, he’ll never understand. Babe ended the day freezing, frustrated, and with a pile of paperwork. He loved his job as a special education teacher, and loved making a difference in young lives. But days like today always brought him back to their familiar spot, The Currahee, much needed beer in hand. One beer had turned into two, and then three, and then Babe lamenting his lonely existence as a perpetually single gay man.

“Pussy hound Bill Guarnere wants to help me pick up a guy? Has hell frozen over?” Babe asks sarcastically, pressing two fingers to the pulse in his neck, “Am I dead?”

“Shaddup. Don’t act like the guys wouldn’t go crazy over me.”

Babe leans forward, reaching out to pat Bill’s arm, “Oh, baby, you drive me crazy alright.”

Babe would do anything for Bill Guarnere. When they were sixteen, and Babe finally understood why he didn’t look at girls the way other guys did, he was terrified to tell Bill that he was gay. Bill, all rough edges and macho energy, had been his best friend since the first day of kindergarten. “You tryna play?” Bill had barked at him the moment Babe stepped into the classroom, still clinging to his mother’s legs. From that moment on the two of them were inseparable. The idea of losing Bill was scarier than anything he could think of, and it took Babe months and several pep talks in the mirror to muster up the courage. So one fateful night, as they drank some stolen beers on Babe’s childhood trampoline, Babe just blurted it out.

“Bill, I like guys.”

Bill was silent for a moment, before tossing his beer over the netting and rolling on top of Babe to envelop him in a giant hug. Babe hugged him back and fought back tears against his shoulder, comforted by Bill’s gruff assurances that best friends forever meant forever. Ten years later, here they are, still thick as thieves, and Bill is adamant that all of Babe’s problems will be solved by getting laid.

“Alright, ‘nough of the funny business,” Bill puts his hands up, as serious as he could ever be. “You want my help or not? I’m tired of listenin’ to you piss and moan over what’s his face.”

“Henry,” Babe sighs, thinking of his ex boyfriend. They had only dated for the summer while Henry was doing an internship in the area. He had gone back to Buffalo in August, and Babe’s love life has been bleak since.

“Yeah, Fuckface McGee, him. You were too good for him, Babe, didn’t I always tell you that?” Bill raises a furry eyebrow, forgetting that according to him Babe was too good for every boyfriend he’s had. He had also taken up the obnoxious but well-meaning habit of running every guy Babe had ever spoken to through the database at the police station, with something as small as a speeding ticket enough to make him concerned. “How long have you known me?”

“Too damn long.”

“And have I ever steered you wrong?”

Before Babe can open his mouth, Bill points at him with a shake of his head, “Don’t answer that. Take a good look around this bar and take your pick. Daddy’s gonna help you.”

Babe looks around the bar. It’s a freezing night in January, so it’s only regulars like him and Bill who have no better place to be. He scans past familiar faces until he sees someone he doesn’t recognize.

“Him.”

Bill turns to look. This stranger is sitting at the bar, eyes laser-focused on the game playing above him. Babe can’t make out the color, but can feel the intensity in them from across the room. He’s got a short crop of black hair to match his furrowed brows, a bit of stubble, and lips that Babe is very interested in seeing up close.

“That guy? The little one with the face?”

“He’s not little.”

“You think he’s on your team?”

Babe keeps looking at this handsome stranger, taking more of him in. His gaydar has always been horrible, highlighted by the confident kiss he had once given his buddy Welsh only to gently be told that friends is all they would ever be. Babe runs on the assumption because it’s 2024, and the world is a much more accepting place than it was ten years ago, that trying to hit on a straight guy isn’t the worst thing that could happen. The stranger is still wearing his coat, despite the stuffy bar air, arms crossed and hands tucked under his armpits like he’s cold. He’s found a lonely corner of the bar, and the drink in front of him is empty. He’s got an air about him that’s says “leave me the fuck alone”, and Babe sees him shake his head when the bartender goes over. Maybe he’s getting ready to leave, he thinks. Babe starts to second guess himself, and begins looking around to see his other options. Handsome Stranger’s mysterious vibe is intriguing, but the possibility of rejection would put Babe in the ground after his rough day.

“I’m goin’ in,” Bill stands up before Babe can protest and struts over to the bar, misplaced confidence oozing out of him.

Babe can only watch in horror as Bill plops himself down next to Handsome Stranger, sticks out a meaty hand, and begins to jabber away. He decides that’s all he needs to see and sets his sight on the nearest TV just in time to watch the Eagles make a touchdown. At least it’s a good day for the Bird Gang.

A moment passes and Babe finds the courage to look back at the bar. He sees Bill stomping back over to him, face contorted in a scowl that Babe is all too familiar with. The conversation cannot have gone in his favor. The guy is definitely straight, potentially homophobic based on Bill’s visible anger.

“What did he say?” Babe dares to ask. He puts his glass to his lips, praying for a miracle.

“First of all, kid must be fuckin’ blind because he took one look at me and says ‘Absolutely not’.”

Babe chokes on his beer, sputtering foam all over the table. He pounds his chest with his fist, willing himself to breathe through his laughter. It’s not often that Bill faces rejection, and the obvious wound to his ego is something Babe will savor for years to come.

“So I says, ‘Listen, toots’-“

Babe’s laughter is cut short and he groans, because of course Bill would make an ass of himself, and by extension, Babe. “Bill, no, you did not call him ‘toots’-“

“I says, ‘first of all, you ain’t my type, with the lack of tits and that pissy pout-“

“BILL!”

“-and you ain’t for me, you’re for the poor fucker sittin’ over here’”, Bill plops back down in his chair, shaking his head. He finishes his beer and sighs, like the interaction has exhausted him, “And then I walked away before I punched him in the mouth.”

Babe just drops his head down on the table. This isn’t the first time Bill has been an absolute beast in public, and it certainly won’t be the last. Babe’s minuscule dream of a night not spent alone has been dashed.

“You need a muzzle,” he mumbles to the wood, “I’m gonna have to tie you to the pole outside. Put up a sign that says, ‘please don’t pet me, I bite’.”

“Don’t be a prick. Can’t say I didn’t tr-“

“Hey.”

Babe looks up and Jesus Christ, Handsome Stranger is standing right in front of him. Although the bar is quieter than usual, the man had appeared with such silence that Babe wonders if he appeared out of thin air. He can barely believe this is real, certain that the guy was either straight or so repulsed by Bill that all hope was lost.

“Hey,” he squeaks out. Oh, Christ. He clears his throat and repeats himself, “Hey.”

The guy stares at him with those dark eyebrows still furrowed, like he’s looking at something under a microscope. Suddenly self-conscious under his unrelenting gaze, Babe runs his hand over his forehead, trying to rub away any red mark that might be left from slamming his head down.

God, up close he really is hot. His eyes are somewhere between blue and grey, complimented by the blue scrubs he’s wearing under his coat. Babe feels his cheeks turning as red as his hair, but unable to look away from those unblinking eyes. Over the hum of distant conversations and game commentary, Babe wonders if Handsome Stranger can hear his heart thumping out of his chest.

“You his friend?” He sticks a thumb at Bill, who immediately straightens up.

“His best friend, actu-“

“Give me your phone.”

Babe could fall out of his chair. There’s no way.

“My what?”

“Your phone. It’s right there.” Handsome Stranger points to where it rests on the table next to Babe’s glass.

“Oh, yeah, sure, here.” Babe scrambles to grab his phone and unlock it, handing it over quicker than he would like to admit.

The stranger taps at it and then quickly types something in and hands it back to Babe. He looks to see his contacts open, with a new addition: Eugene Roe. He doesn’t recognize the area code, explaining why he’s never seen this Eugene before tonight.

“Cool beans,” is all Babe can think to say because holy shit, he did not expect Bill to actually pull through with this. When he looks up again, Eugene Roe is gone. He looks to the door just in time to see it swing shut, catching a quick glimpse of white sneakers walking away.

Bill gives him a shit eat grinning and grabs his shoulders to give him a rough shake.

“Cool beans? What are you, fuckin’ twelve?”

“I panicked,” Babe defends himself. He can’t help but smile and looks back at his phone. He wonders if it would make him seem desperate to text him right now. Yeah, it would, he decides, maybe he’ll wait an hour-

Bill cackles, a sound that shocks Babe back into reality. “Never say I never did nothin’ for you, even though that guy is already on thin fuckin’ ice with me. Now go buy me a beer. The king is thirsty.”

Babe happily obliges, making his way over to the bar in a half-daze. While the bartender pours Bill’s beer, Babe looks back over to where his handsome no-longer a stranger was sitting. Eugene Roe, he thinks, who are you?

(Now posted on my ao3 with some edits! https://archiveofourown.org/works/53977666#work_endnotes)

[presidentlokis-hornyhelmet]

Home Is Where You Are

🕷MASTERLIST🕷

Pairing: Pavitr Prabhakar x Reader Summary: (From This Ask) Reconnecting: You and Pavitr were childhood besties, yet in-between your friendship, you had to move away. You guys were still in touch as well, but little did Pavitr know you decided to surprise him by finally moving back to your hometown where you and Pavitr used to live. Tags: Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers

Also Read on AO3

🎵 🎶 The sight of you lit me up Could not believe my luck Now I know where I need to be Home is where you are 🎵 🎶 Song by Ant Utama A/N: Google says "meri jaan" can be used to refer both your gf/bf and your friends too(?), so if it's not so irl, just assume they're comfy w/ it 😅😅😅 LOL

Pavitr Prabhakar -or Pavi, as you often call him- has been your bff since childhood.

Stuck at the hip, running around doing mischeif and pleading your parents to allow just 5 more minutes playtime.. Oh, those were the days! A chuckle slips your lips when you remember that even as a child, he was proud of his hair.

You remember vividly, back when you guys first met. Pavitr's hair was wild and curly and all over the place, bouncing with his every step. It was physically untamable for him. He was fussing with it and you, having watched him for quite a while, offered to help him keep it in place with a messy pigtail and putting all your hairclips on him. It didn't help much but little Pavitr had been very grateful, a big smile pulled across his face.

That was in kindergarten.

Growing up, you became the closest of friends -and the most chaotic. There was no one in school who hadn't heard of the infamous micheif-makers, the prankster pair. Prank wars 24/7 and very concerning to the school board.  It was even more hectic when they tried to put you guys in different sections to discipline you. You threw a tantrum, he spilled food everywhere as all the other kids joined in; it was sort of a mutiny you guys had started. The headmistress then decided it was best for everyone to not separate you two and let you guys be in the same class thereon on the condition that there will be no more horsing around.

Things finally went back to normal and all was going well.. until your parents got a transfer.

You remember that day, when your parents said you were going to move. Initially, you had been over the moon, not knowing that it meant leaving Pavitr for good. God, you were so naive. But when it finally  dawned on you that this is where your friendship will possibly end, you ran to his house and cried to him. Pavitr shared your sentiment; he loved as much as you loved him and separating you guys just was wrong.

Whenever there's something scary at night or if he hears weird sounds that frighten him, Pavitr used to hide under the bed until it goes away. He suggested you do the same. So there you both were, crouching  under his tiny bed and staying there sharing stories and whatever 11 year olds talk about.

Uncle Bhim did find you soon enough and called your worried parents. A lot of kicking and screaming and yelling 'I don't wanna goooooooo!' while your parents dragged your naughty butt to the new home, practically ripping your hand away from Pav's.

It had been a bit too dramatic, now that you think about it, though a little funny too.

Pav had been crying for a week after you left, just like you, and every night for a month, Uncle Bhim would let him call you and speak. Then school began, and you drifted apart.

______

You stepped out of the airport and raised a finger, calling for a taxi.

It's been 10 years now. A decade since you and Pavi last saw each other in person. Sure, you stay in touch via video calls and social media but nothing beats physical connection.

You've graduated and found a new internship at your dream company that requires you to stay in Mumbattan. What else do you need? To say you were happy would be an understatement.

Dropping your things at your own apartment, you take the cab straight to Maya auntie's as he's still staying here to take care of her. (Hope she still likes pranks!)

The elderly woman is the first to greet you, full of joy, her aged eyes shining with tears of sentiment. "Oh, mera beta!"

You let her wrap you in her embrace and hug you close. Maya auntie shares your tears, giving a moment of respectful silence to Uncle Bhim. It's hard to digest his death when you loved him like your own father.

After pleasantries are exchanged, you're about to ask about him when doubt creeps upon you. Sure, you've talked a lot but.. Does he still feel the same way about you, or is it the version of you in his head? Does he still value your friendship like before? Or were you just a passing cloud? A chapter in his book? Just a childhood memory and nothing more?

But most importantly, has he found someone else more worthy of his time?

Maya auntie, always as perceptive as ever, sees the hesitation in your eyes and encourages you to give him a surprise, assuring you that, of course, nothing is more important to him than your friendship.

With renewed confidence, you walk into Pavitr's room. He isn't there but you hear the water running. Assuming he's taking a bath, you take your time to look around the room.

The sky blue wall is a bit faded but it brings you happy memories. Same big old window from which you used to watch the city. Books, books and more books, some kind of gadget and a- is that spandex!? A Halloween costume, perhaps.

A framed picture is sitting on his desk, of your childhood selves holding hands, your front teeth missing, standing before Pavitr's apartment. It was the first time you had come over. Aww!

The cot is certainly larger than last time and you hide a chuckle when you think if you both can fit under this one.

Actually.... didn't Maya aunty talk about surprise?

Giggling like the mischievous child still inside you, you crawl under the bed. What you expected is to not fit under it, what you didn't expect is a red and blue hand-painted shoe box filled with little trinkets.

The lid is open, so you're not actually intruding on his privacy.. (Right?)

The box is filled with shiny stuff and upon inspecting one, you realise these are the same gifts that you gave Pavitr a decade ago. He.. he still cherishes them? Your heart swells.

A glittery red paper heart catches your eye but you don't remember giving it to him. Sloppy cursive runs in gold glitter:

"I threw my plans all away So that I could hear you say You love me, yes, you want me The sight of you lit me up Could not believe my luck Now I know where I need to be Home is where you are

I miss you meri jaan 💔 "

It takes a moment before you realise it's from him. He'd written it to you before you moved but never actually came around to giving it.

Oh, oh God, Pavitr loves you!

Tears of joy gislten in your eyes. You did have a similar thought once,  but dismissed as soon as it came. You would never believe if someone told you Pav had had feelings for you. And seemingly, still does.

A greeting card falls out, a dried rose attached to it. It was written on last Valentines day:

"A little birdie told me you wished for a Knight in shining armour. Now that I'm here, what are your other two wishes, meri jaan? ;P"

Wet thuds sound and you look up -wincing from the bump to your head- to see Pavitr come out of the bathroom, towel-drying his curly hair and dripping water everywhere.

"Looking swag as always, Pav!", he says, making finger guns to his reflection, flaunting his amazing hair as he runs a hand through his damp curls. And, wow, it's grown longer!

The moment you try to scare him from under the bed, he stiffens and turns around cautiously. Grabbing a cricket bat, he curls his other hand into a mudra. (Is he going to spiritualize you to the death??)

"Who is it? Whoever you are, better come out or else-!"

"Or else, you'll crouch under the bed?"

He drops the cricket bat, frozen in pleasant shock.

You're struck speechless too, lost in his eyes. Wow, Pavitr has.. grown. He's so very handsome, much more than you remember. You gasp softly, mesmerized by his beauty.

"O-Oh my god, N/N?!"

He engulfs you in an embrace, hugging to tight to his chest. His wet cheek rests cool against your warm skin, so close you can smell his shampoo. "Ah, I can't believe it! Meri jaan, is it really you? H-how-?"

"A little birdie told me you wished for a Knight in shining armour. Now that I'm here, what are your other two wishes.. meri jaan?"

It takes him less than a second to realise you'd read his card. "Oh God, you read that!?" He blushes terribly, pressing his face into the crook of your neck as he stumbles over his words. It's cute to see him flustered.

The laughter dies but your smile stays.

"Y/n", his breath is hot in your ear, "may I.."

Your heart beat quickens, stuttering with every stretching moment. Every breath you take is growing heavy.

"Yes..?"

Your noses touch. He's close, so close..

Suddenly, he twirls you around and begins to sing:

"The sight of you lit me up Could not believe my luck Now I know where I need to be Home is where you are!"

Once you recover, you try to hit him in the chest for playing you like that, but he's quicker. You giggle, laughter erupting from your throat as he hugs you from behind, pecking your cheek like he used to do all those years ago as you sing along.

It may be unspoken, but it exists. He's never forgotten, nor have you.

"Now I know where I need to be Home is where you are!"

_____

hope you enjoyed it!

@moraleswithoutmorals I am so sorry for the delay, I think I need some more time for the other prompts (seriously, they're SO GOOD i can't CHOOSE!) and I think of merging a couple prompts, hope that's fine with you 😊

[toastedkiwi]

we def need more on intern! reader’s background

Okay— let’s start off with school background (also I might be talking out of my ass a bit). She was constantly skipping grades. Her parents did managed to keep her in preschool and kindergarten but it became very apparent that she got bored with the class work. She did fine playing with other kids but it was clear she needed to be challenged a bit more which led to her skipping grades and being around older kids. She did get bullied by the older kids which often had her by the teacher and being alone

She was taking community college classes when she was 9. Community college was a lot better on her. She got various associates degrees because her dad jokingly said “why don’t you try collecting them all?” She low key is still working on it.

She did take a gap year when she was 13. Her dad took her on various road trips to see various museums, state parks, and aquariums. He had to stop at little old school diners.

She got a few full ride scholarships to different schools. She went to Yale for her undergraduate degrees at the age of 15 and then hopped over to John Hopkins University when she’s 19. She graduates when she’s 23 and then she starts her internship at Gotham General.

Her degrees:

Associates - massage therapy, criminal law, marketing, business, art, accounting, psychology

Bachelors - Marine Science, Pharmacy

Doctorates - Medicine, Biology

[elslovers]

chapter one

BLOOD IN BLOOD OUT

synopsis: medical school is hard you knew it would be you prepared for the long nights and breakdowns you prepared to run off only coffee and will power for four years what you didn't prepare for was Abby Anderson you thought after graduation you would be done with her but first day of your internship there she is ready to give you hell...and maybe something more

a/n this is basically going to be greys anatomy tlou version im not sure this is gonna land with people but lord I hope so doctor abby eats so lets see how this go - also this is my first not standalone fic yay for me

you had always been a healer in one way or another, mending healing sick younger siblings back to health from a cold or nasty flu turned to taking care of your friend's hangovers after discovering to never vodka and tequila

you've spent your whole life healing people mending broken hearts and broken women, and mending parents and friends during the lows of their life it only made sense that you would dedicate your life to mending the pain of others its what you do best, and if you're being honest, you loved it at first, you thought you might want to be a vet at the ripe age of eleven. You decided you prepared the company of your pets to those around you (you still do) and thought fixing them might be a decent way to spend your adult life but the concept of seeing animals in any form of pain put you off your dinner then in middle school, you thought maybe a nurse you liked the idea of a hospital, the concept of working alongside brilliant doctors and helping save people's lives by realizing you only wanted to be a nurse because you thought you couldn't be the doctor and fuck that

college, you spent every second of every minute of every goddamn day proving you deserved to be one of the doctors, and after four years of grueling pre-med classes, you were confident you deserved to be one of the doctors then came med school, which knocked you flat on your ass. You didn't go to a shabby school for undergrad, but you ran circles around your peers there - common knowledge was that you were the one to watch, but med school was different you weren't running the circles alone Abby Anderson had been breathing down your neck and your ego from the moment you stepped foot into your first class - the first question your professor asked your two hands were the only ones to fly up

it was world war three ever since that day constantly an all-out battle as to who can bruise the other's ego more you hated her stupid notes and the way she was so above using an iPad like everyone else and was insistent on surviving med school with pen and paper for notes, only using her laptop when needed be you hated her attitude. Her father is a doctor, and she always acted like she was born with a scalpel in her hand, ready to cut she always acted so above you if you were being honest with yourself, Abby made you feel weak. She was tailor-made for this life. She was stoic and hard level headed and cool under pressure. She poked fun at all the things that made you you

she made fun of the way you doodled in the edges of your textbook she made fun of how you dressed 'like an overgrown toddler.' She would say every time you sported your colorful shirts or pants, your cardigans or fun shoes- the day you wore pigtails to a lecture was one of the worst of your years there Abby always quipped that you were better-suited teaching kindergarten than in the OR, and sometimes you started to believe her

in high school, mean girls were blondes with Jeeps and low GPAs, but in med school, the mean girl was a cut-throat soon to be doctor who almost beat you out for top of the class almost

graduation day came and when and you stood on that stage beaming ear to ear - your dress may have been pink, but you were the only one with a gold cord draped over your cap and gown so suck on that, Abby Anderson was the second name to be called and the relief that flooded your body was unexpected

it was over. She was gone, and you would never have to feel that big hand wrap around your shoulder just to tug at your ponytail you had finally gotten rid of Abby fucking Anderson and you existed blissfully with that thought all summer you'd accepted your internship at Jackson Hospital and after four miserable years of med school spent proving to yourself you deserve to be a doctor, you now got to spend the next four years of your life proving to yourself you deserve to save lives when your alarm echoed throughout the four walls of your one-bedroom apartment, it felt like a gift

today was the first day of the rest of your life

it was a fresh start - a clean slate and nothing in this world could knock you off your high at least you thought

the light blue scrubs felt like a second skin right off the bat, and with your hair in a pink clip and two cups worth of coffee In your travel mug, you gathered around the other interns and spotted the only thing that could ruin your day a honey blonde braid hanging idly down the pack of the one person who could make you regret even waking up that morning

fucking Abby

Abby had a special gift for making you feel small, always pointing out the things you love about yourself as if they were the worst flaws she'd ever seen

it blew your mind to think your first impression of her was that she was stunning

"you have got to be kidding me" You meant it to sound firm and harsh, but you know it came out weak

you watched, gawking as Abby turned roughly on her heels to tower over you properly

this was going to be a nightmare

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

to say Abigail Anderson was meant to be a surgeon would be the understatement of the year

where you were born to heal

Abby was born to cut

her father was a healer,

but what she lacked in his warmth she made up for in discipline. Abby was controlled. She was hard-working. She knew what she wanted from the moment she was old enough to vocalize it and she spent every moment of every day working toward it. It would be admirable if she was humble about it but Abby was cocky, and she knew it

she was always the one to beat all throughout her life she spent most of her young childhood inside the walls of Jackson Hospital, absorbing every ounce of knowledge her mind could, and by the time she hit high school, she was a well-oiled goddamn machine Abby lived and breathed medicine, and although out college, every move she made had the sole purpose of bringing her closer to the goal - to the one thing she was made to do it is needless to say, Abby never had many friends. That's not to say she had none. Every overachieving perfectionist can attest that various social clubs help fill the void

Abby was president of the debate team Vice President of Model UN, captain of the girl's basketball team, and an active member of the gay, straight alliance per her father's request (begging) who often worried Abby didn't surround herself with 'people on your team' as he father would put it over breakfast most mornings

Abby had people but Abby was alone. She didn't play nice with others people who weren't on her level she found boring and impossible to converse with and people on her level (people like you) posed as a threat to the territory that was rightfully hers Abby walked confidently into med school posy undergrad, convinced no one could take the wind out of her sails until she met you

for every question asked you always seemed to have the answer a second faster for every quiz test or exam that she got an A on it always felt as though you got an A + she hated the way you showed her up and did so with a smile - did so with fucking pigtails

she hated how good you got and how kind you stayed she spent years convincing herself that the way she was is what it took to become bright that warm girls sweet girls girls who doodle and play nice don't become cut throat and that Abby was made to be cut throat

but there you were personified sunshine and holding a fucking dagger to her throat it seemed unfair so when you made her feel low Abby would make you feel lower she knew her teasing and taunts were pathetic and bordering on cruel but for four years taking the wind out of your sails put it back into hers

she would be a liar if she said tequila and late nights in her apartment didn't force her to think about how soft and broken your face looks when she teases you she would be a liar if she said those thoughts didn't want to make her stop but they just were never enough when she sobered up

after graduation all she could feel was relief sure you had one for a final time you pulling top the class out from under her would chase her down in her nightmares for years to come but she had the summer to nurse her pride and by the time day one of internship rolled around she was prepared to walk though the doors of Jackson hospital exactly what she was A legacy Abby was the second link in the chain of Anderson surgons in that hospital

her father was legend and now she could follow it up build her own reputation of excellence she like he had always intended when she gathered around the other interns sipping on her coffee as they all spoke in hushed whispers about how she was the daughter of THE dr Anderson she was confident nothing could bring her down until she heard your voice small and weak and taunting as she whips around her braid nearly hitting someone in the face

"oh come the fuck on" she hissed feeling the anger rising right to her cheeks

this was going to be a nightmare

[seventeenlovesthree]

Time Saver - a Taishirou Fanfic, Chapter 4: Calling It A Night

Summary: The strange girl requests to talk to Koushirou about a bug in the network that may cause trouble - but her whereabouts and the source from which she gets her information remain a mystery. Thus, Hikari tries to approach her in more gentle ways.

Word Count: 1937

Chapter POV: Hikari Yagami

Chapter List: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

Upon hearing that revelation, every person – and mon – in the room had gone silent, staring at the girl in the hospital bed with different variations of surprise. Thanks to his steady media presence in the past years due to his company and “Digimon related PR work”, Koushirou’s name wasn’t exactly unknown to the public. However, it was still unusual for a, presumably, middle school aged girl to get in touch first.

Hikari could still remember the steps Koushirou and Taichi had discussed for one of the latter’s internship speeches; whenever a new person would get partnered with a Digimon in Japan, Koushirou’s network – supported by Gennai’s connections – would be able to locate it first. The program was by no means finalized yet, since there were still too many factors they couldn’t properly take into account yet – and least that was what Hikari had gathered. Children usually had to be found by them first, as they obviously didn’t know how the process worked. But Koushirou had also talked about getting contacted personally by young adults who had formed partnerships, asking for guidance.

Nevertheless, even with the increasing presence of social media, it usually took Gennai’s meddling first and foremost for younger people to “get initiated” into the existing group. This case was truly strange.

“Wait, wait, wait, can we slow down for a second?” Jyou was the first to find his voice again, not daring to take another step towards the bed, since the little bug Digimon already seemed back on the fence again. “The last time a young woman appeared out of nowhere and wanted to talk to Koushirou, the outcome wasn’t actually the best…”

“Jyou-san, don’t be rude!”, Hikari cut in, giving him a scolding look. Even if she herself couldn’t help but make a mental note to talk to Taichi about whether he had been in touch with Menoa in the last months. Right now, she knew there were different priorities though, so she moved towards the bed, facing the girl with a gentle smile. “I do agree that we should slow down and talk for a bit. May you tell us your name first? And of course it’d be unfair if we didn’t introduce ourselves first. The man in the white coat is a doctor in-training here at the hospital we are at, Kidou Jyou-san. He’s with his partner, Gomamon.”

Jyou bowed in response, smiling awkwardly as well, whereas Gomamon just chirped a happy “Hi!”

“This is Takaishi Takeru-kun and his partner, Patamon. My name is Yagami Hikari, my partner here is Tailmon. The four of us found you lying on the ground after Takeru-kun saw a lightning strike and we just want to figure out what happened, so we can try our best to help you.”

While talking, Hikari had observed each and every of the girl’s reaction and her calm voice at least seemed to have helped to keep her attention on herself. She didn’t appear as directionless anymore, not as timid, but – and this was the weirdest part – avoided eye contact with Takeru…

Her glance was resting on Hikari herself instead, who had eventually sat down on the edge of the bed, mustering the younger girl very closely; despite her eyes being so dark, her expression was open and softened even more once Hikari had ended her speech. It was actually pretty similar to how a lot of her care children in kindergarten reacted to her whenever she was talking eye-to-eye with them and Hikari always brightened up herself whenever she felt like she had reached through to them. It wasn’t always easy, not all children were ready or capable of letting her in when they had problems after all. Sometimes talking and reasoning didn’t help, no matter how hard she tried. But just like with some Digimon, Hikari’s sense of empathy didn’t allow her to give up on them.

And in this case, she could sense a connection, a similarity. Whatever she had gone through, Hikari’s words must have resonated with her. Not only that; Tentomon had joined Hikari at the corner of the bed, looking up to the girl. Which seemed to have soothed her even more.

“Oh, and this is Tentomon. You may have heard of him already if you know about Izumi Koushirou-san too?”

“Pleasure to meet you!” Putting his claws onto the sheets to get better access, he just waited for her to respond – whereas the girl didn’t move for a good while, simply returning the gaze as if to analyze his entire being.

“The pleasure’s on my side”, she eventually said softly, accompanied by the hint of a smile – and without hesitating, she reached out for the red ladybug, patting his head. It almost felt like she simply had a natural affinity for bugs, Hikari mused to herself.

“My name is Hotaru and…” She abruptly pulled her hand back, as if she had gotten an electrical shock. Judging by the increasing redness of her cheeks, Hikari sensed that she got nervous again. As contrasting as her behaviour was, Hikari couldn’t help but to keep smiling at her – even if the blush was cute, complementing the colour of her maroon hair, she wanted to make sure she could feel safe with them.

“I came here because I have obtained information about a dangerous bug in the network, so… After doing some research about the Chosen Children residing in this area around Odaiba, I wanted to discuss the possible fixes with Izumi-san. I know he’ll be capable of finding it, so we may prevent quite some damage. That is… All I can tell you.”

Another moment of silence followed. Just a low “Huh…” sound by Tentomon broke through the quiet of the room. Maybe there really was a thing about bugs…

“… See, I’d say that sounds very familiar. Including the loss of consciousness.”

“Jyou-san!”, Hikari scolded him again – but couldn’t help but wonder about it all as well. Hotaru knowing about the term “Chosen Children” probably should not have been very surprising at this point either, but she simply appeared to be… Shockingly informed.

“I’m telling the truth!”, Hotaru raised her voice, sitting up a little more in bed while the bug Digimon clung to her arm. “I have no memories of a lightning strike or whatever it may have been, all I know is that the bug needs to be eliminated or terrible things could happen!”

“Hotaru-chan?” Hikari was still maintaining her kind demeanour, trying her best to keep the situation peaceful. So she peeked over to the little bug. “Is this Digimon your partner?”

“Hibismon…? Yes, she is.”

As if she had waited for the call, the Digimon jumped back into Hotaru’s arms.

“So you know who we are and you’re a Chosen Child yourself…?”, Takeru asked this time, after having remained quiet for a while. Hearing that, Hikari turned towards him. They had gone through a similar routine with Rui three years ago and at this point, it had become quite a pattern. The main difference back then was – that Rui hadn’t known any of them, including Koushirou. Despite all that, Takeru simply faced Hotaru with a stern look. “Where do you come from, since you said you got here after doing research?”

“This… This is a little bit more complicated…”

In this moment, the hospital room door got opened quietly – and if Hikari had perceived Hotaru to be tense and nervous before, she absolutely had not expected the young girl to just completely freeze up upon seeing Koushirou – similarly and yet way more intense than how she reacted to Tentomon approaching her. Round eyes, stiffed up, tense shoulders and – which surprised Hikari the most – lips that were pressed together so tightly that it looked almost painful. Seeing this, she suppressed the urge to sit down on the bed to simply wrap her arms around her…

“Sorry, it took a little longer…”, Koushirou apologized as he closed the door behind him, blissfully unaware of why everyone looked rather puzzled. “Taichi-san will be on his way here as soon as he can. I already told him roughly what happened and he insisted on taking the earliest train back home.”

He took a look around – and even he must have noticed Hotaru making a small gasping sound as he had mentioned Taichi’s name –, but as he opened his mouth to say something, Takeru let out a laugh.

“Diplomat life really isn’t easy, huh?”

Hikari adored Takeru’s laughter – it had the ability to light up an entire room and that superpower was definitely necessary right now. Even if she couldn’t suppress a small pout as reaction to his words.

“He wasn’t even on diplomat duty, he was doing a language training to improve his English skills and he once again didn’t message us regularly…”

“Still, he wanted to come here as quickly as possible, since the training also ended early today, but he initially didn’t plan on coming back before tomorrow evening”, Koushirou added, giving Hikari a sympathetic nod. They were, unfortunately, used to Taichi not replying back in time if he wasn’t constantly reminded of giving them a life sign – it was a fate they both had to deal with, so at least she didn’t feel as ‘left behind’ on her own. However, Koushirou didn’t seem to intend to dwell on the issue any longer and shifted to Hotaru, who – once again – flinched on the spot. “So, what did you talk about in my absence?”

This time, she at least tried to say something, but before she could open her mouth to reply, it was Jyou’s turn to interrupt – which, just like Takeru’s ‘distraction’ before, appeared to be just the right move at the right time:

“Maybe we should continue all of this tomorrow, Hotaru-kun? It’s been a long day and you all haven’t slept at all yet, so how about we talk tomorrow, mh? Do you want to stay here in the hospital for the night? That’s probably the most reasonable option, just to make sure you won’t faint again.”

Exchanging a short glance with her Digimon partner, she seemed to contemplate the offer she had just been given. Fumbling with the blanket for a few seconds, she eventually took a deep breath and returned Jyou’s gaze, explaining as calmly as possible:

“I don’t want to cause you any inconvenience, Kidou-san. Aren’t you out of capacity and will get in trouble if you let me stay…?”

Once again, her words caught them all off guard and Jyou simply stared at her.

“Well, err… Yeah, kinda, but how do you know about-“

“We could also take her to the office, Koushirou-han?”, Tentomon chimed in, pulling everybody’s attention towards himself – and making Hikari chuckle. He really could be a protective mother hen when somebody had gained his trust. Apparently, head pats were very effective at achieving that. “That way we can watch over her in case anything happens and nobody else has to get alarmed!”

“Tentomon…”

Hotaru’s big eyes had returned – and widened even more when Koushirou agreed without much reservations:

“That’s an option, yes. How do you feel about staying with us for the night – Hotaru-san, was it? We intended to stay the night there in any case, so this shouldn’t be an issue.”

Taking her previous reactions into account, Hikari was almost sure that she would have denied this offer as well, seeming rather cautious, despite the urgency to talk to Koushirou before. And yet, she hadn’t expected her to smile as serenely as that – or the low “Should have known…” Hotaru muttered to herself before saying:

“… I’d be happy to stay.”

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello mbti-notes! I'm 25 & INFJ. I currently feel directionless, lost and stagnant. Due to this I've isolated myself for a long time up until recently when I realized it's making me more anxious. I've been trying not to isolate myself by taking daily walks, practicing mindfulness, interacting a little with people, learning soft skills and learning from your blog.

Many setbacks have occurred in the past few years. I feel after covid I've just had hardship after hardship without break. I've lost my drive and goals. So I started I've started rethinking my goals. I always knew that I wanted to do a career involving history, travel and in service to others so I worked towards that. In my final year of uni my friend suggested going into teaching because I could do history + teach abroad. I thought it was a good idea. I've taught for one year in my own country.

Since I've entered the teaching field I've had a very difficult time and experienced burnout in no time. I don't feel supported or guidance to overcome challenges that I have. I'm lacking strong classroom management in a class of 40 students (public schools). Senior teachers have told me that I should consider switching to kindergarten or that I would be viewed as incompetent and lose my job. I was also told I'm going to struggle in this field because I struggle to socialize with colleagues. I'm very introverted and lack social skills due to being socially isolated during my middle childhood to teenage years. I'm working on this and try to socialize with colleagues.

It feels discouraging to constantly be criticized. I was told twice by two teachers I worked with closely I work diligently and they'd love to work with me again. First teachers usually struggle with classroom management the difference is how slow or fast one gets a grip on it. For some it's months, just a year or many years. I'm not given the time or space to practice my classroom management. During my entire first year I believed myself to be incompetent because of the comments from experienced, high rank teachers. Which caused me stress and unhealthy perfectionism because I internalized those comments due to my low self worth & external validation. I'm working on changing this belief and learning about myself. I know I can do it with experience, guidance and support. I believe that I'm capable of doing any job or career if I have proper guidance or mentoring.

Unfortunately, only teachers with good classroom management are employed. Unless a school is interested in taking on new teachers and mentoring them which isn't frequent. So far I haven't been able to find stability in this career either. I've just gotten accepted for contract posts which are only for a few months. I'm currently taking a break from being a school teacher and I've started volunteering work by tutoring children. I'm at crossroads with what to choose. Especially because I'm doubting whether I'm suitable to be a teacher considering my classroom management which is very important. I'm considering exploring other jobs than teaching or continuing in that field but as a tutor, online teaching or private schools (20 in a class and my classroom management is good with 20). My question is how do I know if I'm on the right path? How do I find healthy direction? Thank you for your time.

---------------------

1) Trying to learn on the job can be very challenging because of the greater sense of responsibility and the pressure it generates to succeed quickly.

To my ears, the amount of help you need actually sounds a bit unreasonable. There is one point about your situation that is unclear. Did you get a teaching degree that included a proper internship or practicum? (If you entered into a position without the right qualifications or training, then you shouldn't be surprised about struggling.) It's not the job of the employer or your colleagues to educate you once you've already graduated from school, though they may choose to be supportive as part of their mission or as resources allow. Technically speaking, the training should've already happened in your practicum, so it is assumed you already have enough classroom experience to get a grip on things quickly on your own.

If you haven't had enough practical classroom training, it might benefit you to spend time working as a teaching assistant in order to learn from experienced teachers in a more appropriate way, rather than expecting your colleagues to add teaching you to their already full plates of teaching 40 students.

Factors such as student demographics and school funding also influence the workplace environment for teachers, so it might be a good idea to try out many different schools to ensure that the problem doesn't lie solely with you. It could be that the workplace culture in specific schools isn't a good fit for you. It's not something to cast blame about but to accept; simply move on and look for a better fit.

There are many different forms of teaching, so just because you can't manage a class of 40+ doesn't mean you have to give up teaching entirely. Yes, private schools and sometimes schools in more rural areas generally have smaller classes. Also, there are companies that provide after school tutoring programs, so you could actually work as a tutor if one-on-one teaching appeals to you. Private tutoring can be lucrative if you produce good results and the right parents spread the word about your services.

2) The idea of "the right path" is somewhat misleading because it doesn't exist in any absolute sense. And believing there is only one right path for you isn't the healthiest mindset because it makes you less open to possibility and then less adaptable to change. That said, there are some very general indicators you can use to determine whether life is going well, for example:

- Emotional Well-Being: Do you generally feel good? When life is going well, your mood should be relatively stable, your attitude positive, and your outlook optimistic. Remember, pain is a warning that something is wrong. Similar to problems with physical health, if there are any aspects of your life that produce pain and suffering for you, it's better to address them sooner rather than later.

- Healthy Self-Esteem: Are you proud of who you are? Healthy pride comes from things like: taking responsibility for yourself and what you put out; making wise judgments and decisions; speaking constructively; working productively; nurturing and appreciating individuality; building good moral character. It's important to pay attention to feelings of guilt, shame, inadequacy, or self-loathing because they shine a light on opportunities for personal growth.

- Being of Value: Do you feel that you matter? To "matter" basically means your existence is better than your nonexistence. To feel as though you matter in the world, you need to offer something of value and also have your offerings valued by others. If you feel as though you have little or nothing of value to offer, then you might have an underlying issue of low self-worth to address. If you feel as though others don't value you, then you need to examine what is causing the problematic disconnect in your interpersonal life.

- Sense of Purpose: Do you have good reasons to get up every morning? People with a strong sense of purpose generally: strive to use their time and energy in meaningful ways; undertake work that produces tangible benefits; look for opportunities to make a positive contribution; make a commitment to higher goals and ideals. Feeling unmotivated, stuck, lost or adrift often points to lack of purpose in life. Purpose doesn't magically appear. You have to make purposeful choices in accordance with the value you see in yourself and want to express out into the world.

It's not my place to tell people how to make life decisions. You have to reflect on whether this is the career you want and then explore your options and find the position of best fit. This difficulty you are facing in your career could mean any number of things. It could be the challenge you need to learn the skills that you've neglected up until now. It could be a wake up call for realizing that a change of direction is necessary. To be a healthy INFJ means being able to use Ni to connect with the whole truth of the matter. Who else can tell you what is right for you? You have to reflect on it with as much self-honesty as you can muster.

[dutchforstrangers]

Suit and tieTai - Taiora one-shot

For @taioraweek 2023 Day 4

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

A/N: Another WIP that finally sees the light of day. Because I will never get tired of making these two oblivious dorks kiss for the first time in every universe possible.

Summary: It was one simple kiss that turned their ignorance into awareness of what had already been there the entire time...

Day 4: First kiss | Characters: Taichi Yagami (POV) x Sora Takenouchi | Genre: Subconscious blooming romance | Rating: K+ | Wordcount: 1.344

7:47am. When he woke up this morning, he had told himself he would start early, so he was sure to leave Hikari and Sora’s apartment on time for a change. But it had already been eight whole minutes since he had started fighting the tie around his neck in front of the mirror.  

Frustrated with himself and that stupid string of fabric around his neck, Taichi growled. “I have this very important meeting at work I cannot mess up,” he said to no one in particular.

“You good?”

The female voice came from the kitchen and belonged to Sora, since Hikari had already left the house for her internship at the kindergarten. From the corner of his eyes, Taichi could see her peeking.

“Yes.” Taichi said, but didn’t sound to convincing. He decided to switch his answer. “No. This tie, I swear, these should be forbidden!”

Sora grinned, with her elbows she nonchalantly leant on the kitchen counter. “You’d think as someone working in suit and tie every day, you’re good at tying it by now.” She teased him.

“Except I’m not.” He was fully aware of his tone sounding annoyed. And he was, because somewhere deep down in him, he knew he would always struggle with it. “And never will be. Sor, can you help me one more time, please?”

He definitely needed her help. Like he had needed it all the other times he had stayed over these past couple of weeks.

Sora chuckled as she made her way over to him. “Come here.”

“Good thing I’m staying over.”

“You’re practically living here by now,” Sora joked while her hands prepared the two sides of the tie around his neck for the actual tying. Her eyes fixated on the accessory.

Sora’s joke was one with truth though. The girls’ apartment was closer to Taichi’s work than the loft where he lived with the three boys, plus, it had a more cozy atmosphere compared to the messy boys’ energy. He had lived with Yamato, Koushiro and Jyou during his entire time at university, but now that Taichi had started working, he was ready to go a different direction regarding his living space.

“I don’t want to be near Yamato and my cousin getting it on constantly.” Which was another big reason why he wasn’t at home right. He watched a blush forming on Sora’s cheeks, her hands still working on his tie, softly and with care.

“Too much information,” she said. “How about Koushiro-kun and Jyou-senpai?”

“Ugh, Jyou’s never at home, either in the hospital or with his girlfriend, and Koushiro is busy most of the time, hidden behind his desk and wall of computers. Different from me, the boy is resistant to Yamato and all of his bedroom shenanigans.”

Sora laughed. She spent a lot of time with Koushiro, her being one of those rare friends who could talk to him without any form of technology between them, and she was very much aware of Koushiro’s ability of radiating the ‘I’m not giving a shit’ energy.

“Jealous?”

“Please,” was Taichi’s answer.

He wasn’t jealous, it was just him being ready for a change of pace. And so he found himself crashing on the girls’ couch quite a few days per week. He had to admit though, it also came in very handy that Hikari or Sora –but mostly Sora—were always available to help him out with his daily outfit struggles. 

Maybe he was in need of a life partner to settle down with, who could match his changed needs and wants, Taichi thought to himself, knowing he couldn’t keep crashing the girls’ couch forever.

“I much rather stay here with my lovely little sister and incredible friend who is—”

Sora patted his chest lightly and Taichi shifted his attention towards her hands after returning from his thoughts.

“… great at tying your ties.” Sora finished for him. Her feminine fingers worked their magic once more and a perfectly knotted tie hung loosely around his neck. She carefully adjusted his collar and the tie itself, making it look sharp. “There, you’re all set.”

The softness and collected happiness in her voice made Taichi smile. He showed her his signature grin before turning himself to the mirror to look at himself. Behind him he saw Sora look at him too and his own heart weirdly skipped a beat.

“Thanks,” he quickly said to cover himself, still genuinely happy with Sora’s fashion knowledge and friendly help. He walked past her to get to his jacket and coat.

“Oh! There’s this dinner thing at my place tonight, will you be there too?” Taichi remembered as he put the jacket and coat on.

“Sure will be,” Sora answered while on her way back to the kitchen. Again, he felt a bolt of luck going through his body and warming his chest.

“Great! Looking forward to it.” He hastily slid into his shoes, his eyes checking out the time on the watch around his wrist. “Shit! Okay, gotta rush, see you toni—”

“Wait! Not yet.” Sora shouted from the kitchen. Taichi already had the door opened, doorknob in his hand, as he turned his head around to see Sora crossing the small living room towards in a rushed pace. In her hand she held his lunchbox and he instantly remembered it was what he not only forgot to grab, but forgot to prep and pack as well…

“You left this,” she said it as if he hadn’t seen what she was bringing him. He took the box from her, immediately feeling it wasn’t empty, meaning she had not only noticed he forgot, but had actually prepped and packed it for him. The heat from his chest slowly rose to his cheeks. “Have a good day at work.”

She smiled at him with her kindest and most genuine smile. It made him smile in return and for just the briefest of moments, time stood still.

“Thank you, you too,” he said, suddenly realizing he was in a hurry. With the lack of air between the two of them, he swiftly close the gap and planted a quick kiss on her lip—

Wait.

He did what? When— how?

Time seemed to stand still once more.

“Erm… sorry,” Sora spoke first, face completely red, chest high from all the gathered air inside of it. “That wasn’t supposed to happen…”

Taichi shook his head, with that trying to get him out of his daze. “Right… So much for all the accusations of us looking like a married couple huh?” He joked, automatically resolving to comedy to cover up his own redness.  

“Y-yeah, hehe…” Sora nodded as one hand moved itself nervously to her lips, her fingers touching the spot where he had pecked her like a husband kissing his spouse goodbye for the day.

Even though he had been unaware of his own feelings at first, apparently, his body had known what to do. The kiss blissfully happened by itself, showcasing both him and her what sparks had been exchanged. Not only during the time spent in this apartment together, but during their entire life by now.

It occurred to him that, rather than searching for someone to settle down with, perhaps he had already found that someone. Sleeping underneath the same roof, she tying his ties, bickering like only lovers could.

That it was just one simple kiss turning the ignorance into awareness.

The smile on his face grew bigger. As much as Taichi wanted to stay, especially now –to reflect a bit longer, to talk about his newfound excitement— he had to run.

“See you tonight, Sora.” Taichi said emphasizing her name as he took off.

He looked over his shoulder one more time, just to be met with the view of Sora waving him goodbye like they had indeed been married forever. To that, Taichi snickered to himself, in his securing Sora would be the one to untie his tie at the end of at least today.

Perhaps he could even steal another kiss from her…

[stainapologists]

Having a hard time sleeping so here's more rambling stuff about Nozomi.

Her interest in Gyaru fashion is tied heavily with her transness. No matter what she does, she will always be at odds with what normative society considers attractive. Embracing the purposefully abrasive gaudiness and "impolite" hyper feminity of kogal aesthetics has been a source of comfort and gender euphoria for her.

2. She bleaches her hair and only recently learned to use toner. The bleaching, along with the way she back combs it, hot curls it, and adds streaks of wash out dye almost daily, means that her hair feels like straw. It's DRY.

3. Nozomi's gang tattoos are well hidden by her clothes and she goes out of her way to avoid changing in front of the other girls in 1-A to keep them hidden. She's no stranger to lying her way out of uncomfortable situations, but she's going to be at UA for a long while and she knows she won't be able to keep track of what she tells everyone.

4. On a related note, Nozomi's go-to for any personal questions her classmates might ask follow one of two routes. Behind door one, she answers their question with a different question related to the topic, usually by starting with an observation about the other student. Door two, she drops a one liner and walks off to let them chew it over. (example: Momo asks her about her family and Nozomi is strangely upbeat as she says "I don't have one!", then she leaves the common area)

5. She purposefully took a dive during the sports festival to avoid further attention. It's not like she's keyed up about potential internships, she's only becoming a hero because the other options, as stated by Nezu were: 'very dangerous reform school full of hardened criminals that may have something against her for her past affiliations' and 'prison'.

6. By the time she's enrolled in UA, her quirk's evolved a few times. Not that it matters. She can only use one shot-type, the soft shot, because it's the only attack her quirk produces that isn't potentially lethal. It's like being hit with a paintball gun. Most of her training is done with just hand to hand, because using her quirk against another student could be dangerous.

7. All Might doesn't exactly recognize who she is/was, but the first time they came face to face he told her she looked familiar. That made her clam right up.

8. She speaks Japanese with a heavy American accent, talks fast, slurs her words, and uses a lot of slang.

9. Despite the heaviness of their shared history, Nozomi does sincerely give a shit about Nezu (which is huge, for her), and not just because she'd be extremely boned if he died suddenly. The smoking and drinking worries her a lot, but that's lame, so instead of expressing that she just stares at him real hard and hopes he picks up on the concerned vibes she's putting off.

10. Nozomi grew up around drug dealers, pimps, and murderers + had fear beaten out of her as a small child. Bakugo does not scare or impress her. She thinks he's annoying, and that's it.

11. Midoriya annoys her as well. Different from the way Bakugo does. Midoriya bothers the fuck out of her because everything about him proves her world view wrong. Thinking about him for too long gives her existential dread. (And that too, is lame.)

12. Mineta is the only person besides Nezu she trusts enough to show her real personality. He finds the sharp contrast between Nozomi and her mask disconcerting, but she gets it. She's just glad that he doesn't tell everyone in class about it.

13. Her sense of humor is fucked. She thinks her memory of her first kill under Dahlia is funny. And she fail to understand why the mental image of a crying, frightened kindergartener taking aim at a bound gangster while being screamed at isn't humorous to anyone else.

14. The first time Nozomi's mask slips in front of her classmates, it's over a casual conversation with Mina and Hagakure. They were talking about boys, and when asked what kind of guy she liked, Nozomi went into a lecture about how to pick the right 'mark'. None of what she said had anything to do with attractiveness or personality, more to do with potential material and social benefits, and reward-to-risk ratios.

[invisibleraven]

All at once everything is different

Written for the Year of the OTP challenge prompt: Whenever I look at you...

So when I saw the list of prompts for the OTP 2023 challenge, I decided that I wanted to participate. My plan is to write a short little fic every month using one of the prompts. I am definitely going to go through different pairings, because I am not one to play by the rules, but I had to start the year out right with my true OTP; Rulie!

AO3 Link!

Reggie groans as his loud alarm clock blares, and he fumbles for the button, slamming his fist down on it to make the incessant beeping stop. “Alright already, I heard you, I’m not deaf,” he grumbles. Easing himself up and stretching, feeling his joints pop. He slides his feet off the bed, finding his slippers with minimal effort and whistles. Ellie trots up beside him, licking at his hands, and he gives her head scratches in return.

He goes through his routine, coffee and toast before a shower, then into his favourite outfit. He has a date with Julie today, and she had commented how good he looked in it a while back, so he sticks with it. The flannel is a little worn, but super soft, and he likes how the rips in his jeans keep him from getting overheated.

Soon enough, he and Ellie are on the move, and Reggie smiles as the cool ocean breeze ruffles his hair and tickles his face. He can smell the salty air and the sugar as the cotton candy stall opens up. He’s tempted to stop and get one, but Julie will know and they have lunch plans.

He keeps going, Ellie trotting by his side, her harness firm in his hand as the noon day sun starts to warm him through. “Beautiful day for a date with our favourite girl right El?”

Ellie just barks in reply, but that’s enough for Reggie.

“Reggie!”

He can’t help but smile when Julie’s voice reaches his ears, quickening his pace to reach her all the faster. She giggles when she’s in his arms, letting him twirl her around and then pull her into a kiss, warmer and brighter than the LA sun.

“Hey gorgeous,” Reggie whispers as they pull apart. “Missed you.”

“We had a date two days ago!” Julie says, then leans down to pet Ellie who had been panting patiently at their sides.

“Too long,” Reggie declares. “How much longer until your lease is up again?”

“Three months and you know it,” Julie replied, linking their elbows. “Now come on, I’m famished.” She starts pulling him down the sidewalk, going on about the new dim sum place that opened up.

“You’re not gonna try to make me use chopsticks again are you?” Reggie groaned. “You know I’m useless with those things darlin’.”

“Unless you’re making yourself into a walrus,” Julie snarked and Reggie offered a sheepish smile. “No, we can use forks.”

The rest of the walk was filled with Julie catching him up on school, lamenting her Curriculum prof who was a harsh grader and rather unhelpful when needed. “Thank goodness this is my last semester,” Julie said with a sigh. “Then I get to go through the fun of job hunting.”

“Don’t play, I know the school you did your internship with already offered you a spot for the fall,” Reggie teased. “Those kindergarteners aren’t gonna know what hit them.”

“How’s the podcast going?” Julie asked.

“Not bad,” Reggie hummed. “We just finished editing the episode last night, so it should be out soon. Luke is pretty stoked about this one, he even wrote a song for my character to sing.”

“Luke and his songs,” Julie said. “That boy is a rock star in his soul no matter what.”

“I keep telling him to send his songs to a label but he says he’d rather use them for us and share them for our subscribers. After everything… he doesn’t think he can be a star.”

“You all could be,” Julie replies, “You all play, Luke’s songs are so good. You could be legends.”

“I’m happy enough as I am,” Reggie says and presses a kiss to her temple. “Here with you and Ellie.”

“Charmer,” Julie whispered, pulling him for a sweet and simple kiss. “We’re here by the way.”

The bell over the door chimed as they entered, a host greeting them. “Oh I’m sorry, we don’t allow anim- oh, my apologies. Let me show you to your table.”

“You in a spicy mood today?” Julie asked as they were sitting at their table, Ellie sitting by Reggie’s feet near the wall so she was out of the way.

“Always with you gorgeous,” Reggie replies, giving her a crooked grin.

Julie stifled a giggle and told their host what they wanted, plus a request for forks. All the while the toe of her shoe caressed his ankle, a small loving touch. Or showing she was also in a spicy mood which meant good things for Reggie that afternoon.

The food was delicious, just the right amount of spice that it was hot but not overpowering. Julie probably could have handled more spice, given her heritage, but Reggie was happy enough with a lower Scoville count.

Before long they were back outside, and Julie linked their arms once more. “Walk it off then back to yours for a snuggle?” she proposed.

“Sounds divine angel.”

They had just entered the boardwalk when Reggie heard them.

“Look at that babe!”

“Yeah, and the freak who can’t even see what a fine piece she is!”

“Doesn’t deserve something he can’t appreciate.”

“Hey baby, why don’t you ditch the dog and come walk with a real man?”

‘Ignore them,” Julie whispered, snuggling further into his side, but their pace picked up as the idiots hooted and hollered at her.

But Reggie couldn’t ignore them.

Sure, it hadn’t been the first time he’d heard whispers about him and Julie. About how he had landed and kept her. Or the sneers when he, Luke, and Alex went anywhere together. His whole life, people had talked about him behind his back, and each cutting jab stayed with him. But this time.. For some reason, it caused him to doubt. He was sure there was a sullen expression on his face as Julie pulled him inside the house, sitting him down.

“You’re still thinking about it, aren't you?” she asked, not needing to clarify, and Reggie nodded. “Why cariño?”

“What if they’re right?” he asked, his voice a miniscule whisper. “What if I don’t deserve you?” A small sob escaped. “Julie you’re gorgeous and I’m…”

“You stop that right now Reginald Peters,” Julie said, laying a finger over his lips. “Do you know what I see whenever I look at you?”

“A loser in dark glasses who can’t even see you?”

“No. I see your kind heart,” Julie replied, laying her hand over his chest. “Your brilliant, creative brain,” a kiss to his forehead then, “your strength and passion,” each fingertip received the caress of her lips, one by one, “those adorable freckles,” Julie nuzzles their noses together, and gently takes off his glasses. “And those eyes, the colour of springtime. I know that means nothing to you, but I always feel alive when I see them. I see you Reggie. Not your blindness, not whatever else you think you lack. Just you, the man I adore, who loves me like there’s no tomorrow.”

Reggie lifted his hands, cupping her cheeks. Felt a stray tear and swiped it away. Let his fingers trace over the shape of her brow, the scrunch of her nose, the bow of her lips, the soft curve of her jaw. “I see you too,” he whispered before pulling her into a kiss. It was deep and lush, almost all consuming as their mouths met, tongues dancing around each other before growing smaller, to a peck, a series of pecks before finally pulling away. Reggie rested his forehead against hers. “I still don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m thankful everyday for you.”

“I’m thankful for you too,” Julie said, running her fingers through his hair. Ellie whined and placed her head on his knee, causing them both to giggle and pet her. “And we’re both grateful to you girl.”

Reggie unclipped Ellie’s harness and vest, letting her dash about the room, laughing when she brought him her favourite ball. He turned to Julie then, smiling wide. “You wanna help me tire her out so we can snuggle uninterrupted?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

Julie opened up the backdoor, and shooed them both outside, stopping to adjust the picture of the boys on the wall; Reggie in his shades, Luke in his wheelchair, and Alex with his hearing aids on full display, signing something to the photographer. She lingered on Reggie, his wide, happy grin, and then turned to the yard where it was out in full force once more.

“Come on Julie!” he called, and she went off running. She wanted those snuggles, and maybe after… they could talk about seeing where the future would lead them if she broke her lease just a few months early. She knew Reggie was her future, and she couldn’t wait to see what it had in store for the both of them.

[painsandconfusion]

Glowsticks

Round FIVE of bad baby Sand scribbles. We're getting into the pretentious first person trabic backstory era now

(tw: major character death, military/war mention)

I was born in the middle of a record breaking blizzard. I don’t know what that means, but some people think that it’s a sign that I will have a difficult life. I never really believed in these ‘signs’, nor did I ever take seriously the people who do believe in them. Either way, I never really had any reason to believe my bad luck was because I was born during a crisis. This is probably due to the fact that I never really had any bad luck during my childhood.

I grew up on a small farm in Nebraska. My parents had been married at a young age, while my mother was still in college. They had quickly bought a small farmhouse and built the place up one year at a time. 

My family is made up of five people. There is me, Emma Mavric. My parents, Amy and Eli Mavric. And there’s Abigail and Olivia, my sisters. Abby and Olivia are twins born roughly fifteen years before me. I always liked my sisters, but they never really liked staying at home. I was barely getting into kindergarten when they moved out, to different colleges, and never really came back. They may be identical twins, but they couldn’t be more different. 

When Abigail, the eldest, moved to Lincoln my parents were distraught at the thought of their daughter being so far away. It wasn’t long after that that Olivia decided to apply for an internship in Chicago. Suddenly Abigail’s decision seemed a lot better.

Either way, I never really knew them well. They may be my sisters, but they have been gone since I was a child, coming home only for the major holidays. I never really cared much for those holidays anyway, though. They always meant the family getting together. That meant that I had to pretend to be a perfect princess for at least two days. I had always preferred the lesser holidays. The ones most people don’t think about. On these days, I could celebrate and enjoy the festivities while being entirely myself. This was on account of one person. Emery.

Emery was my best friend for as can remember. He wasn’t a brother or a cousin, be we were as close as any brother and sister had ever been. 

I still remember the summer days I spent with Emery. We were just kids. Young. Innocent. Without a care in the world. Every morning, we would wake up at 6:00 AM and Jump on our bikes with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches stuffed in our pockets. We would hop on our bikes and take off riding down the gravel roads, meeting in the middle of the timber in front of a huge oak tree that we had marked as ours. Emery lived less than a mile away by gravel, but only half a mile if you cut through the light timber, so we would meet in the middle. By the oak tree.

By the time we were thirteen years old, we thought we had the entire world figured out. I remember wanting to become a nurse. Emery wanted to be in the military. I never really understood that, but I suppose he never understood why I wanted to be a nurse. Even though I didn’t get why he wanted to go into the service, I respected his wishes. He had never been wrong before so I didn’t have much reason to doubt him. I was happy that he had found something he was passionate about.

I remember one July night. The Fourth of July to be exact. We were 15 years old and had driven to the lake with our new permits. With parents in the passenger seats of course. Every year, the fire station would put up a firework display over the lakeside. Emery and I would always hike up and into the trees that surrounded the water and watch the show from the dark canopy of leaves. Of course, the view wasn’t the best, but it was quieter there. There weren’t any people and both of us hated crowds. Besides, when we were in the trees, we couldn’t smell that horrible smoke that come off of the children's sparklers and fills the beach before the sun had even set.

There, hidden in the darkness, we could be ourselves. A rare occasion that only presented itself when Emery and I were together. 

I sat down on the damp ground and leaned against a tree. Emery joined me. 

“When do you think they will start setting them off?” I asked impatiently.

“Why? I thought you didn’t like fireworks.” He smirked.

I sighed. “Well as long as I’m here I might as well see them. Just because I don’t like them in general doesn’t mean they’re not pretty.”

“They will probably start the show once it’s dark.” He looked up through the gap in the leaves. “We probably have another ten minutes or so I would guess.”

“But it’s already dark.” I protested.

“The trees make it seem worse than it is.” He reached into the backpack he brought with him wherever he went. After rummaging around for a moment, he produced two boxes.

“Sparklers or glowsticks?” He asked, smiling.

I chuckled. “Aren’t we prepared?” I teased. “wouldn’t we light the forest on fire if we lit the sparklers here?”

He was still smiling. “No, I don’t think you can light anything on sparklers. They aren’t hot enough and the flame only burns for a second before moving on. It couldn’t set anything on fire.”

“Yes it could!”

“No it couldn’t “

“Could so.”

“Nope. Not a chance.”

“Okay then, why don’t we find out?” I suggested, challenging him.

His smile grew with the thought of proving me wrong. “You’re on.” Emery said. He started rummaging in his bag again to produce a package of matches. He shook one sparkler from the bag and held it out. 

“You hold this Emma, I’ll light it.” I took the sparkler as he struck the match and held it to the tip, waiting for it to ignite. After a few moments of intense staring, the end of the stick began to spit millions of little sparks out.

“Alright. Watch this.” I said, holding the sparkler be the very tip of the wire. I knew it couldn’t burn me, but I had always been afraid of those little sparks. I reached down and picked up a dry leaf. I held the tip of it up to the spitting end of the sparkler and let the little spurts of fire dance around it.

“Nothing’s happening.” Emery teased. “I think I just won a bet.”

“Just wait a few seconds. It’ll burn. You just see.”

“Mmmmmmmhm…” He mused.

But I was right. A few seconds later, the edge of the leaf began to burn red and curl upon itself. There was no flame, but you would see the glowing red line slowly consume the dry tinder.

“Ha!” I exclaimed. “Told ya” I smirked at him. A smug grin.

“No way. There was no fire there. It just got really hot.”

“You didn’t say there had to be a flame you just said it wouldn’t burn! I’m totally right”

“Nu’uh. I said it wouldn’t burst into flame. You said it would.” He said, stealing my cocky grin.

“No! I said it would burn, dumbutt.”

“Whatever. If you can’t admit you’re wrong, I guess I’ll be the bigger man here.”

“Oh whatever!” I humphed. “You’re just a sore loser.”

Emery chuckled. “Whatever you say, your highness.”

I scrunched up my nose at him and stuck my tongue out; really an immature thing for a fifteen year old to do, but I couldn’t resist.

He chuckled and pulled out the glowsticks. “Glowstick?” He offered me the box.

I took one. I was hoping for a red, but it was almost impossible to see what color they were in the darkness. He grabbed one too and we sat there for a moment. I loved doing this. Especially in the dark. It made them even cooler. I grabbed onto the stick and bent it between my fingers until I heard the cracking sound of the crystals breaking inside the plastic. Luminous color spread from the spot and I kept rolling it between my hands until the entire length of it was bright and beautiful. The color was blue. I frowned a little, but blue isn’t a bad color so I didn’t feel the need to comment.

“You got blue too!” Emery said, looking down at his. “It’s a sign. These two glow sticks must be joined together.”

I chuckled and handed him mine. He took two plastic connectors out of the box and fixed the ends of the glow sticks together making a ring. He tossed the ring over my head. It appeared that I had a necklace now.

We spent the next five minutes silently cracking every single one of the glowsticks until none were left. As I was breaking the last one, I had a thought.

“Wow. It would suck to be a glowstick.” I pondered out loud. “Stuck in a box for the first part of your life, then people come along and bend you until you break, then you are thrown away that same day. That would be a crappy life.”

Emery looked at me in a strange way. I ignored it and bent the last glow stick into a bracelet and hooked it around his wrist. We sat in silence for a few minutes, leaning against the trees, feeling the moisture from the ground soak into our jeans. I waited for the fireworks to start. Emery started at the ground, thinking. After a while he broke the silence.

“You know what I think?” He said. “It’s okay to be a glow stick; sometimes we have to break before we shine.”

I looked at him and blinked a few times. I didn’t know how to respond to that. I opened my mouth to comments just as the first firework was set off. Emery’s somber focus was gone in an instant and he looked up at the sky smiling as the first of them lit the sky with golden flame.

“I guess you’re right” I whispered, but I don’t think he heard me over the excited screams from the spectators.

Once I got my licence, I drove myself to school every day. No more bus rides for me, and there was no way I was making Emery continue for the next month until he got his so I picked him up every day and we rode together. I had an old faded pickup that my grandpa had given me to use. It was in terrible condition, but its old frame gave it character, and personally, I thought it was kinda cute even though Emery laughed at it.

We never really had a lot of classes together in high school, but we always did our homework together. I would go to his house, or he would come to mine. My favorite spot to study when the weather was nice was a little spot behind the barn. Emery and I used to spread out our books and binders over the grass and lay on our stomachs to work. It was nice and quiet there, and not easy to become distracted. The only thing I was able to see was the cornfield that grew about twenty feet from the edge of the red barn, and the barn itself. It was like a little corner of solitude that always seemed to have a way of letting me relax. 

Sometimes, Emery would decide to take a study break and mill around for a bit. This usually didn’t bother me until I felt kernels of corn hitting the back of my head like bullets. I would scurry up and try to dodge his attack. He would be standing against the side of the barn laughing at my desperation while kneading kernels of corn from the cob and chucking them at me. It didn’t really hurt, but I made a big deal out of it anyway. 

Why? Because I could. 

I would scream and run around while he chased me throwing handfuls of corn in my direction. Once his ammunition was gone, he would throw the inside of the cob at me and run away. Then it was my turn to chase him. I don’t know how many hours we spent studying there, but for some reason, I think that we probably spent longer throwing corn and running around like four year olds.

When we graduated high school, a lot of things scared me. I was so sure just a few years ago that I wanted to become a nurse and now I had applied to a state university as a business major. So many things were changing so fast and Emery was definitely the one who helped me through them. He would calm me down during mental breakdowns and he was the one who made sure I signed up for enough scholarships. He even filled out a few for me. He said it was only fair. He would have been doing scholarships too if he weren’t shipping off to boot camp in a few months. His college was free there.

Emery had been sure of his path from the moment he chose it. I was terrified of my future, but Emery looked forward to it. His eyes lit up every time he talked about the military. He explained to me in detail what he would be doing in boot camp and how he hoped to be able to fight in the war to save our country. I never understood this. I couldn’t grasp the concept of someone being excited about danger and treats. He had never shared any of my fears. It was just the kind of guy he was. He knew what he wanted and he knew that it might end badly. Somehow, I think this made him even more intrigued. Just like Emery. Always playing the hero.

I guess Emery was a good soldier because he was shipped out less than a year after going into training. I didn’t see him again after he left. Every once and a while I got a letter from him. It was always wrinkled and smudged as if it had been carried for a month before being sent. He talked about me mostly, he asked me questions and rehashed his memories of growing up. He never talked about his side or where he was. He never told me about the war or combat. I wanted to believe that was because he was totally safe sitting on the sidelines bored, but I knew it was because he didn’t want to talk about it. He was using me as an escape; a link to a more peaceful world. I would let him have that. But, after a few years, the letters stopped coming.

I got a call from his parents on the Fourth of July. They called every year to see if I wanted to go to the firework show with them. Of course I didn’t, but I went anyway. They missed their son and didn’t want to go alone. I wouldn't make them do that. But, that day was different.

I picked up the phone to hear a woman crying.

“Hello?” I asked breathlessly. The tears sent me into an instant state of panic. “What’s wrong?”

“We….we- had a visitor. An officer, Em-Emma.” She stuttered through her tears. I slid to the floor, clutching the phone to my ear, staring at the floor.

“What do you mean?” I whispered. I could barely make out the words I said. I wasn’t sure if she could.

“He b-br-brought us a flag.” She broke down into sobs again.

I stared at the floor and let the phone clatter to the ground. I felt a great pressure on my chest. Suddenly it was nearly impossible to breathe. Emery. My brother. No, more than a brother. I gasped for air and pulled my knees to my chest, trying to keep the world from spinning.

“My throat was burning before the first tears fell. At first my tears were silent, then they grew into sobs. I began to yell and scream at the window, fighting it. I wasn’t even sure what I was fighting, but it was definitely winning. I felt like my chest was ripped open and Every breath sent fire down into my lungs. Every time I closed my eyes, images of Emery flashed across my vision. I choked and sobbed, trying to breathe.

I don’t know how long I sat there. A few hours ago I must have gotten up because I am in my car now, flying down the highway with no idea what I’m doing. The tears have not stopped and my eyes are starting to swell shut. I roll down the window to try to breathe better, but the wind just burns my eyes so I roll it back up again. It’s strange. When I have this much liquid in my eyes, they shouldn’t be burning. It’s stupid.

I choke down another sob and turn onto a gravel road. The one leading to the lake. I don’t know why I seem to want to go there, and I don’t really care enough to think about it. I fly past the lake. It must be late. The sun is already starting to dip into the horizon and there are rows of people staked out along the beach. I drive until the gravel stops at the treeline. I kill the engine and stumble out of the truck, moving towards the trees. 

I barely get inside the woods when I turn around and go back to the truck. I grab a Wal-Mart sack out of the backseat and shuffle into the trees. I trip my way through the woods. There is no path here and the thorns and bushes rip and tear at my skin, leaving thin line of blood. I don’t care. I keep moving. Tears keep streaming down my face as I try not to imagine how he died. There are so many possibilities in war. No matter what, I hope it was quick. I hope he didn’t suffer. He didn’t deserve that.

I finally trip on the uneven ground and fall harshly to the forest floor. I curse the ground and yell at it in some form of gibberish. there, I curl up into a ball and cry. 

It is starting to get harder to cry. The tears aren’t coming anymore. I want to yell and scream, but I know I can’t or someone will hear me and come looking. I don’t want company.

I sit up and mop the wetness from my face with the back of my arm. It doesn’t help much. I grab the sack I had been carrying and tore through it to grab the box. I had gone shopping the week before in preparation. I had sent Emery a glow stick out of this box about a month ago. It was a blue one because those were his favorite. I was hoping he would get it. I had put in in my last letter and had explained that he could break it on the 4th of July and I would do the same. That way we could somehow be together like we always were before. 

Suddenly I wonder what happened to the glowstick I sent him. Is it lying in some trench somewhere? Was it in his pocket during a car bombing? It it glowing on a road somewhere, crushed by jeeps and tanks? It didn’t matter. 

I pulled two glow sticks from the box. One was red. The other blue. 

I held them side by side and bent them so they cracked and flourished at the same time. I could hear Emery’s voice ringing through my memories. 

Sometimes we need to break before we shine. 

The tears I thought were depleted began to fall yet again. I cracked the sticks together until they were fully glowing, shining in the darkness side by side. 

[schlenting]

You always heard of childhood romance, having your best friend be a guy while youre AFAB in a latino household I was surrounded by people shipping us. Teachers, friends, strangers, even our own family, but we didnt try anything until after we graduated highschool. We've known each other since kindergarten, him a needy kid with glasses and a but awkward while I, at the time, was a social butterfly who got along with anyone but I did have specific interest girls didnt like hut he did

We clicked, spent everyday together, told each other everything. Highs, lows, it didnt matter, we were always there for each other. We both got crushes on each other, but they never timed right for us to want to date, it was always he'd crush ok me when I didnt want to deal with anyone or I crushed on him while he was chasing someone else. But, on our second year of university, things changed.

We stayed in the island, but his campus was all the way across the island, so we stayed in contact via frequent visits and discord calls, but then Pandemic happened. We couldnt move, we couldnt see each other when we were so used to seeing each other daily for the past 13 years, so when the ban lifted, when we could finally spend time together again, the emotions were overwhelming. We kissed, the confessions and the song he dedicated to me, as cheesy and generic as it was, it made sense. La Flaca, I was skinny for most my life, bordering on anorexic, so the song was perfect. The timing was just right...

Things weren't perfect, im over emotional and hate talking about my problems, preferring to suffer by myself in silence over serious things, and he's complicated emotionally. Its not that he doesnt feel, of course he does, but the way he thinks and internalizes things makes it seem like he's cold, and we tend to clash over it but it wasnt much, at least not in my opinion. We worked, out interests were drastically different but it was almost complementary, he struggled with social issues, I picked up on them and acted accordingly. I suck at math or things that are overly technical, but he's a programmer, a coder, wouldve gotten valedictorian if our school didnt fuck him over... So, again, we clicked, at least in my eyes...

Things slowly turned sour when he began taking internships, talking about wanting kids, the type of house we'd get... I didn't want kids, and I hated the extra distance between us for each internship. I visited when I could and I loved every second of it but I wasnt sure, Ive always preferred adoption than having to go through the birthing process, I didnt want to deal with the early years of toddlers and dirty diapers... but slowly that changed, because it made him happy, and thinking about it... thinking of us, alone, dealing with a kid of our own... it slowly wormed its way into my head and heart.

Instead of shutting down the notions I began actively responding, teasing and joking about life when we finally moved in together. But my head wanted more, my mother didnt help, poisoning my mind with the ideals of engagement rings... I hate rings, I lost my senior ring and I didnt really care sense I didnt want it in the first place... but this stupid ring, this silly and overpriced piece of jewelry showing ones dedication to their lover? I wanted it... I didnt push it, hell I never said it out loud, but he noticed the lingering stares whenever we'd stop at a shop to get him new earrings or rings, and Id scan to see if I found something I knew I wouldnt get...

I knew things would come to an end soon, my brain has a beautiful ability to know when Im going to go through shit, and prepares me by giving me nightmares... It started, breakups, him leaving me for someone else, and Ive always been insecure, especially when we had a talk about him inappropriately dancing with a female friend of his, as well as other acts that for privacy's sake I wont divulge, but slowly crept in the back of my mind. The paranoia began.

He's been talking to me less, spending more time with his friends, and I didnt think much of it, he's graduating university, who am I to tell him not to have fun? Besides, most days I was tired from my shitty retail work so why not let him have fun when I cant call... but when we did, Id bring up thinking about us buying furniture together, how we'd decorate the house, when we had a wedding who to invite, how big to make it and we always agreed to keep it small... but he let me talk, oh, he let me yapp and hope knowing he'd leave...

So, he took a deal, a fucking great deal. A job offer of the century, and I couldnt be prouder. I just wish he had told me sooner, that he'd talk to me before making the decision. But he didnt, and he consciously made the decision not to discuss it, to just accept it and move away and I'd find out in a family dinner for my stepdad's birthday. A party I didnt want to invite him but gave in when he said he felt like I was making it seem like he didn't want to go. How I regret it.

So now we're here, still seeing each other, still holding each other, kissing each other, hell we even had sex like nothing is going on... but it kills me inside. Ive cried everyday for the past week, I cant tell anyone, I dont feel like I can talk to him anymore either. Hell, Ive succumbed to using Character AI rp's to cope by venting and ranting to my faves, but its not the same. Ive cried going to see him, Ive fought crying attacks when were together, I bawl on the drive back home, I cry myself to sleep, repeat until I either see him again or go to work, and then I suffer from random emotional spurts because my bods hates when my coworkers and I talk, so Im alone with my thoughts and I have absolutely nothing positive going for me right now....

He leaves in September but he's booked a few flights to go house hunting, as well as a vacation to go see family, so we dont get to see much of each other this summer I guess. He even planned all of it without telling me, when we kept planning during the semester and talked about going on a trip this summer, just us... I dont know what to do, 17 years of friendship and a an almost 4 year relationship (our anniversary wouldve been in September too, few days before my birthday, around the time he's leaving), all out the window... I want to scream, frankly I want to kill myself. I didnt want kids, a house, or want going through the troubles of painting walls and arranging furniture. I didnt want to share a space with anyone, make bug changes to my life in that way until you and now I cant have any of that anymore. You were the only person I trusted for all of this, the only person I saw myself with even until a week ago.

So thanks, and I can at least now say without fear, the bear wouldn't hurt me like this, betray me like this. I'd just be dead, and its looking like a damn good alternative right about now. I wish you the best, but I hate you.

[mspi]

Try to put it down

Living in the city I get to witness too many taking selfies in the most dangerous spots. Sorry tourists, please don't put your children on the gates to take baby pictures of them with the seals in the background.

Wonder how Hawaiians feel about tourists. Oh I was spoiled out there with military guides. Now that I think of it, dad left me on bases to get my workout going. Think he was trying to ease me into enlisting?

Well I wasn't doing that with all the family drama going on. Mom went ballistic when she heard that dad wanted me to join the military. She has a good reason though, I spent most my high school years watching over my mom & siblings. Sure it came with a cost, 🤮 from stress and 😭 alk the way to school and in class because of the 💩 dad would say about moving my sisters and me to his sister's house.

His sister can't stand us and has no clue how to handle my baby sister. He's so lucky I didn't report it to Mom's divorce lawyer.

Sooo off topic now. That's ok. Something completed doesn't need to be perfect while blogging me thoughts. It's at least a place I can let loose. Ohhh geeze, I still chat with friends like college colleagues. Yep, that's a thing.

My sisters find it a bit off that I have friends from college. It's sooo not a bad idea to keep your contacts. Gotta say that a kindergarten classmate didn't let me down with a corporate position after I had my college internship. Another sister found it interesting that a different classmate from primary school visited me while I was on the hospital.

Of course I appreciate all the love and prayers for better health. It can be shocking sometimes. 🤔 The friend from a university surprised me when she entered my 🏥 room with s bunch of little girls to say hi. Think she scared them when she told them how I pulled concurrent enrollment off. They were adorable kids who I think could've done without the trimester talk.

👩‍💻 Not making sense as a completed something is better than a completed nothing.

-- dnagirl

12.12.2023

[gracefullyodd]

12.19.2022

just now i was thinking about something devin said at the posse event last fall. he was the one running it all and i told him that i wasn’t sure if i was supposed to actually be attending, because my actual internship wasn’t until 2023. i wouldn’t be able to ever meet a lot of people at the event. he told me that i shouldn’t worry about when my internship was, and that i should view these events as OTHER peoples chances and opportunity to get to know me.

i never put myself on a pedestal like that ever before and it was so refreshing to hear that from someone else, lol. i’ve worked a lot harder and created a more neutral sense of self compared to the times when i was in high schooler and a teenager. which makes me feel much better as i transition into my 20s. i still have a TON more to work on, despite making immense progress in 2022. 

one of my main focuses for today was thinking of the way that i navigate my close relationships. i was thinking of things that seem obvious to me now at 19, yet were ideas that i would've never considered in my young teens. the idea of relationships coming and going. in part it has to be the naïvety of being a child lol, but i think part of it was my upbringing itself that contributed to how i dealt with friends/individuals coming in and out of my life.

a really core part of myself thinks very fondly of people coming into my lives and leaving as they please. it truly makes me happy that people can find their way back to me, and bittersweet when i realize that it's time for us to part. but i know that it happens in accord with the divine timing of Allah, which of course i have no part in other than making contributions via prayer. aside from prayer, all i can do is smile and accept that friends come and go.

it really does start with the smallest of things, i still remember when iw was like 4 years old crying to mama about a girl named Rhea in my kindergarten class LOL. she was really close to me and was a really kind girl and it hit me sooooo hard that she'd be gone and i'd have to make some new friends. and then, after she left, it was emily who was switching schools just a year later. like it was very normal for people to be leaving my life, and me having to adapt to that, making new friends and meeting new people in turn of the ones that had left. i'm really grateful that God gave me such a good ability to bounce back and adapt from things that are emotionally tough.

as i started reaching puberty though, things took a bit sharper of a turn. i leaned towards more pessimistic ways of thinking, partly because of the way i was treated by my parents, but more so just because i was becoming conscious of the world around me. when i turned 12, i started having a lot of the thoughts and viewpoints that i still hold today. bit of a side track - it's actually crazy to think about, girls grow up insanely quickly. ESPECIALLY immigrant daughters. i love my parents for giving me the opportunities that they did but there were really some questionable parenting techniques used lmfaoo.

but as i was saying, the course of my life began to change a lot quickly when i began puberty, which was at about 12 years old. i gained a sense of consciousness, and in a way became a "woman". i became increasingly conscious about my personality, my looks and body (as do most girls in puberty), and the amount of (figurative) space i took up. this in turn lead to me wanting to please the people around me even more, and thus clinging to people who i felt i needed to prove myself worthy to. my parents remained a figure i needed to prove myself to, no matter if i was 5 years old or 15 years old. but the way people came into my life became more and more different as i progressed further and further through puberty. i can literally think of each person that came into my life and left, and as the years pass on by, each person i develop i close relationship with, i have an even more intense connection with than the last.

tiny me was obsessed with her friends but she did NOT even know what was coming next LMAOO. i think i might type another post about that, because i'm pretty tired rn. gn :)

p.s.

something a little different :-) i never knew how comfortable i’d be really speaking my mind honestly on the internet. i realized that a lot of my more intimate thoughts are worth putting out there though, just for the sake of documenting memories, and seeing if anyone else in my life relates. though i probably will just keep this tucked away somewhere a bit deeper out of embarassment lol 

[guzhufuren]

fukuhara: im eternally unfortunate. i have the worst luck! ive had all kinds of weird unlucky stuff happening to me! I WAS BORN UNLUCKY the universe hates me there is only bad fortune in my life!

me: yes finally some good accurate representation of me!!!!!!!!!

[peanutpinet]

I'll Always Save You - Johnny x Fem Reader | College Au

Sentence Ideas:

59)“Out of everyone in the world who could betray me I never thought it’d be you.”

65)“I’ll always save you.”

Warnings: bullying (don't read if you're triggered) but fluff!!

A/N: hello everyone!! I finally thought of a story that is not about Jamal!! (insert happy cheers lmfao) But same as previous stories I've done, this was inspired by a recent dream I had of Johnny :D

Synopsis: you and Johnny have been friends since young but weren't the typical close best friends but more so, you knew each other since young but never really passed that line of boundaries since Johnny was slightly older than you. But it all changes when you finally went to college

Kindergarten. That was the earliest memory you had of Johnny saving you. You accidentally spilled paint all over the table and Johnny helped you clean the mess before your teacher could even see the mess you made.

Junior High. It was just your first year in junior high while Johnny was already in high school. Because not a lot of your old friends went to the same junior high as you did, you had to make new friends and unfortunately one time, you and your friends accidentally bumped into the "mean girls" of the school. But lucky enough, Johnny was passing by with his friends, Yuta and Taeyong, the high school heartthrobs and yet again, Johnny saved your ass and even made sure that no one would mess with you or even bully you.

College. Out of all the possible colleges, you could've attended, you coincidentally went to the same college that Johnny went and only the only difference was your specialisation. You made it a goal to not involve Johnny and to deal with your problems yourself. It all went well until you both had a class together.

For you, the subject was compulsory while for Johnny it was one of his electives. On the first day of class, you were a bit shy seeing Johnny after so long since Johnny graduated high school right when you were just going to high school.

Trying your best to avoid any awkward conversation, you decided to sit further from where Johnny was sitting. But just your luck, the class that both you and Johnny were in heavily focuses on a group project which the lecturer has already paired everyone and out of all the chances, you were paired up with Johnny because you were a freshman while he was a senior.

Once class was over, you tried to somewhat avoid Johnny but it's Johnny. Just with three strides he already managed to grab your wrist before you could even leave the lecture hall. Johnny pulled you to the side so the both of you wouldn't be in the way of students going out.

"Hey (Y/N). It's been a while hasn't it" Johnny started off the conversation while you have a hard time looking at him since the man is practically a flag pole

"Y-yeah, it's been a while. How have you been?" you stuttered, while Johnny just chuckled

"You haven't changed one bit. I've been well. How are your parents? The last time I went home, I heard from my parents you were attending this college but I didn't expect us to be in the same class let alone being paired up. The world is a small place, isn't it?" Johnny replied

"Yea, it is. My parents are well. Yea, we had dinner with your parents a while back but they said that you were having an internship at the time" you replied back

"Yeap. It was mandatory to graduate. If you do need somewhere for an internship, just let me know, the company I went to offered me a full-time job so I'll be working right after I graduate. Anyways, let's not talk about that yet. It's your first year, first semester. Your number is still the same, right?" Johnny asked while you nodded

"Perfect. I'll text you when we should start on our project, kay? If you have any other questions about your other classes, just let me know. I have several friends from other classes. I have to go. I'll see you around. Just text me" Johnny mentioned, ruffling your hair while you slowly felt yourself shrinking under his touch

After that encounter, Johnny started to text you more often, even asking you to hang out with him and some of his friends that you recognised from junior high; Yuta, Taeyong, Taeil, Doyoung and Jaehyun. But lucky enough, some of your friends from high school, Mark and Haechan attended the same college so you weren't completely alone when you weren't with Johnny and his friends.

But because you and Johnny were paired up for the entirety of a class, the two of you have been hanging out quite often together. But somewhere, down the line, all those little crushes you had towards him were all coming back and it scares you because the two of you have never been this close despite your parents being practically besties.

Afraid that you didn't want to ruin this new friendship, you tried to avoid Johnny and his friends when you were on campus and even not prolonging any conversation aside from it being related to the project. This doesn't go unnoticed by Johhny, his friends and even your friends. Heck, Haechan kept questioning about what happened because he's that nosy of a best friend.

"Yo (Y/N), for reals, did something happen between you and Johny-hyung? You both seemed so close but now, it seemed like you guys only meet just for that class" Haechan blurted, eating his lunch while you pinch the side of his stomach

But before you could even give your made-up excuse, Mark who was walking with Johnny and Yuta called out to both you and Haechan since you all had that one class together. Sighing, you grabbed your bag and practically dragged Haechan with you to the lecture hall, trying your best to go ahead off of Mark, Johnny and Yuta.

Arriving at the lecture hall, you just went to seat in an empty seat at the front part of the hall which you knew that Johnny and his friends would never go to. Instead, Mark and Haechan was the one that sat next to your side.

"Yo, (Y/N)!!" Mark exclaimed, placing his bag under the table

"Out of everyone in the world who could betray me I never thought it’d be you.” you scoffed, rolling your eyes as you got your laptop out to take notes

"C'mon (Y/N), it's been like what? Nearly a month..." Haechan pointed out but you cut him off

"2-3 weeks!!" you emphasised and Haechan just raised his arms in defence

"Kay, fine, 2-3 weeks. But like, what happened? Aren't you guys like close even before college?" Mark questioned, leaning closer along with Haechan to get some sort of answer while you just pushed them both apart

"Oh!! I know, I know!! (Y/N)....has...a crush on Johnny!!" Haechan exclaimed loud enough for both you and Mark to hear which you instantly pinched the side of his stomach again

"But like (Y/N), there's nothing wrong with having a crush..." Mark reasoned but you hushed him as well

"He was my childhood friend, well, childhood senior I supposed. We were never that close since he was older by a few years and when I went to a new grade, like junior high, he would graduate high school the year after. So, we didn't really see each other nor talk that much till now" you explained

"Ahh, so, childhood friends that reconnected and become lovers. KiyoWO!!" Haechan exclaimed, you immediately covered his mouth before he actually shouted

"Shut up Lee Haechan. It's just a stupid crush. It's Johnny for crying out loud. Not to mention, he's a senior. Every girl has eyes on him" you replied, shaking your head

"But you're the one that he talks to more" Mark argued

"You don't know that, he's a senior after all. Anyways, can we not have this conversation. I really need to pay attention for the final project" you excused, finally paying attention to the class while your friends looked at each other then towards Johnny and his friends before actually paying attention to class

Once class was over, you and Johnny had your weekly catch up for your project which would be at the library. Normally, Johnny would try to catch up to you but this time, he texted you, saying that he'd be late which you didn't question.

Because you thought you finally had time to clear your thoughts, you decided to go to the lake at your campus which at the time, there weren't a lot of people. You found a spot that seemed quiet enough and just sat down, getting some of your assignments done.

But in the midst of finishing your assignment, you couldn't help but notice a group of girls coming your way. At first, you didn't think that they'd come to you; but the more you eye them, you were certain that they were coming at you. Sighing, you closed your laptop, put it in your bag as the girls were now standing in front of you.

"Can I help you with something?" you questioned

"See, I told you that she was a stuck-up person. Yet she's one of the only girls that Johnny and his friends talk to while the rest of us are basically rejected" one of the girls stated, making you scoffed

"Excuse me?! Stuck up?! For your information, if you wanted to befriend someone, you should act that you genuinely want to be friends with them rather than making it obvious that you just want to get into their pants or use them or something. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and finish my assignment" you stated, grabbing your bag, about to leave

As you were about to leave, some of the girls grabbed your bag, making it seem that you were stuck in a game of tug of war. While you were trying your pull your bag back, some of the other girls attempted to push you backwards which resulted in you falling into the lake. To top it off? You coudln't swim.

As you were slowly losing conciousness, you felt a pair of strong arms lifting you off the water and then you felt your back being placed onto a flat surface and you started hearing several muffled voices.

"(Y/N)?! Can you hear me?! You gotta wake up (Y/N)!!" you heard someone called out to you

"Johnny, she practically swallowed the water. You gotta give her CPR like, right now" another person mentioned

And the next thing you felt was a pair of hands on your chest and you suddenly choked out all the water that you accidentally swallowed. The hands that were on your chest was now on your back, patting you. Turning around, you met with the eyes you so wanted to avoid the past few weeks. But now, all you could see in those eyes were worry and relief.

"God, I really thought that I'd have to take you to the hospital. I can picture it already, both of our parents scolding me and I would beat myself up because I let something bad happened to you" Johnny sighed, pushing his wet hair out of his face as you suddenly threw yourself onto him, wrapping your arms around his neck and burrying your face into his wet shirt

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to avoid you. I was, I was just scared. I was scared of my feelings and I was scared of the feeling being hurt by someone so close to you" you choked out as Johnny just stroked your head

"It's okay (Y/N). You're okay and that's what's most important to me. You can try to push me as hard as you could but in the end I'll always come to save you, no matter what" Johnny mumbled into your ear, hugging you tightly, as if you'll slip away again

"W-wait!! My bag!!! My parents are gonna kill me if I destroyed the laptop they gave me for my birthday!!" you exclaimed, pulling away, looking at Yuta who was holding your bag

"Hahaha, you haven't changed at all, have you (Y/N). Anyways, let's just reschedule our meeting. Let's get dried up first and have that talk about our relationship" Johnny mentioned, helping you back to your feet as you eyed him

"W-what relationship?!" you stuttered, Johnny wrapping his arm around you

"What? I thought I was pretty clear about what I said. But if you want the exact words then...I like, wait, adore, treasure and love you (Y/N)" Johnny confessed, kissing your temple, leaving you speechless

"Alright lovebirds, let's get you both dried up otherwise the other guys, especially Taeyong will nag if one of you got sick" Yuta pointed out as all of you headed to Johnny's place

.

.

.

"Finally!! Took you long enough" Doyoung complained as Johnny entered the room

"Sorry. Was having dinner with (Y/N) and both our parents. It went pretty well!!" Johnny exclaimed, closing the door

"Well, we're glad it all turned out well. Now, just don't go overboard like you did back in high school" Taeyong stated

"I won't. I'm perfectly calm and matured now" Johnny argued back

"Sure you are. Probably cause (Y/N) and you are finally a thing now" Jaehyun pointed out, making everyone giggle

"Very funny. Didn't something happen to your girl as well, Jae?" Johnny replied, cocking an eyebrow

"Fair point. I was close to actually drown them but oh well" Jaehyun shrugged

"So, have you actually thought on what to do with them?" Yuta questioned

"Well, let's see. I won't hurt any of you. I'm a man of morals after all. But. If I find any of you bullying (Y/N) ever again or anyone else. Or if any other people in your gang bullies anyone. My boys and I won't hesitate" Johnny threatened, eyeing the bullies with his deadly glare

A/N: hello everyone!!! Is it really a peanutwott NCT fanfic if there isn't any sort of threatening or bad boy vibes? Am I right? (No vin, no, that Jamal fic isn't...shut up!! We don't talk about Jamal!!)

Anyways!!! DID ANYONE HERE WATCH THE NCT 127 CONCERT?! CAUSE IF YOU DID, A) I'M HAPPY FOR YOU B) HOW DID Y'ALL CONCEAL YOUR SCREAMS C) ARE Y'ALL ALIVE?! Like, for reals, I was in a mall when I saw the concert turn to a freaking strip show (you know what I'm talking bout). I was lucky cause I was out and wearing a mask cause otherwise, people around me be questioning me ahahaha

Moving on....I think that this will be my last fanfic of 2021 :" I can't believe the amount of one-shots I've made the past year all because of NCT :" Honestly, despite stanning them for 7 months so far, they definitely made my sad, gloomy days a bit brighter (not you Jamal, you stress me out sometimes and my friends love to tease me about it). Anyways, I'm super grateful to everyone, especially the NCTzens who read, liked and reblogged my stories :" I never though that many people actually liked my writing cause ya know, it's fanfic. Not a lot of people consider fanfics as an actually story but whatev, times have changed.

Yea, Imma stop with being sappy and all now lol. I hope everyone will have an amazing rest of the year!! Wishing you all and your loved ones a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! Let's keep on striving guys!! Just trust the process and it'll all fall into place one day <3 xoxo Vinet. SEE Y'ALL IN 2022!!

Just in case y'all don't know, the name peanutwott is peanut and oshawott. I'll explain the peanut part another time but yea, my ult bias (LMFAO) in pokemon is oshawot :D 사랑해 또 사랑해 💚