#it was just really toxic i don't know why theyre even friends theyre all fucking each other and then i tried to fuck the twink and now

[firelise]

for real, what would you do if u walked into an airbnb situation and these people said "we can be your friends"? (its a get out situation for me, personally)

[generalpalacefishgoop]

You know the posts recently about bbh neg on twter, the timing of it with that going on, makes me want to hurl, they don't give a shit about "victims" or the real issues. They just want to dunk on the next cc they hate using the current "momentum".

You know what, I say let them go ahead and try to "cancel" Bad, really, go ahead. They're just regurgitating shit DSMP fans has said over the years again and again about Bad. Its fcking funny actually. Oh not forgetting they had to invent new ones or ones THAT THEIR FAVES HAVE DONE TOO BTW, to "cancel" Bad. To think I was looking forward to QSMP fans being "healthier" or "better" than DSMP ones, oh boy am I sorely disappointed.

Let them run their mouths about Bad. Cuz I'm 100% sure the CCs , QSMP admins, and Quackity give 0 shit about them. Etoiles knows and has already expressed how he knows that Bad is overly hated by the fandom and how he receives neg on the daily. Despite knowing that, he's still cordial with Bad. And he even expressed how he tries to not be "angry" or "frustrated" at Bad or else the parasocial fucks will come running to "defend" him from "evil" BBH when he has said a million times over that its not a fcking big deal, and hes just expressing himself NOT IN A NEG WAY. but noooo parasocial fucks be like "oh no my skunkrly wrunkly his feelings got hurt oh no" same shit with foolish fans. Fcking blind af. Esp the new ones who hasnt experienced the prank wars in dsmp. Fcking joyless fucks who cant handle a fcking block game that theyre not even playing. But thankfully, Etoiles stopped being so concerned, and well, yk with Foolish lmao same old same old.

(Disclaimer: SOME FANS NOT ALL, IM TALKING ABOUT THE TOXIC PARASOCIAL FUCKS, YES EVEN THE BIG ACCOUNTS ON TWITTER WITH THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS. You know who. Big numbers doesn't mean they're more RIGHT. A parasocial fuck is a parasocial fuck. Also, when I say parasocial, I mean the ones who are toxic and project themselves onto the CC. Being parasocial is fine, if it's the healthy kind, if you know what I mean)

I digress, there's no fcking unfollows or subtweets from CCs to Bad, unlike with D or F. In fact, some CCs and CLOSE FRIENDS of Bad's have always praised Bad and defended him TO THIS DAY. If that is not enough of an indication of how unproblematic he is, Idk what else to say. Just fuck off and live a life in constant misery and hatred ig. That's why don't respond to fucks like that. Just mute em. They can yap all they want but it means SHIT ALL if you don't see it. BBH's community is WAY WAY smaller than the whole fandom (and theres wayyy more toxic fucks) so bbhs community saying shit back to the toxic shits will also mean SHIT ALL. They CLEARLY don't watch Bad anyways so what's the point. Better way to deal with this shit is fight the misinformation, that's all. Spread more positivity and give ppl FULL context and CORRECT information. If you see some shit against Bad, report it and send it to whatever ban list qsmp uses. Send it to mods or something. Ik that Bagi's discord has something like that.

Oh but ppl be like /rp or /lh or "it's just my opinion", who gives a shit. Still report them. We're not dumb. The mods or whoever admins are not dumb. That negative toxic fuck smell on it, is fcking obvious enough.

STOP GIVING THEM ENGAGEMENTS. We can happily stay in each others bubbles without ever talking to each other, AND THAT IS FINE. Don't let the negative fucks in. Mute and report them, and I guarantee you, that fcking stranger on the Internet, you'll forget within DAYS. those fuckers won't even exist to you, vice versa.

THEIR WORDS HOLD NO POWER OVER YOU OR THE QSMP COMMUNITY. KEEP THE QSMP COMMUNITY HEALTY AND SAFE. Fuck them toxic shits.

[cosmic-d1ce]

"how can you like sugarduo theyre so toxic" thats why i like them!!!! FML 🔛🔝 fuck everyone that doesnt like them!!!!

FML

Roier gets access to the Room

"He's family now, right? It's a family secret."

Cellbit's attempts to convince Forever have, so far, failed. Roier already knows. Roier has known for some time. He knows about Phil and he knows about what Forever really is.

"I'm just worried that he won't react as well as you guys did..."

Their reaction was insane, thinking back on it. They found out that Forever and Quackity had kidnapped Philza and they were all fine with it. They didn't even bat an eye. Mike had shrugged and said "amor é amor" with a laugh. They all laughed together. They knew what Forever was doing to their friend and that was fine.

It didn't matter. They watched Phil get destroyed and didn't care.

Now, it makes Cellbit feel a bit sick. He knows what love is now, thanks to Roier. It is not what Phil and Forever have.

What they have is sickening. Something depraved and cruel. Thinking about it too long makes Cellbit want to die. He knows he could have stopped it. He could have helped Phil but he didn't.

"I'll make sure it's okay. I can't keep something like this from my husband, Forever." Cellbit knows that will do something.

"Fine. If he freaks out though, it's on you." Forever huffs.

Roier is calmer than Cellbit had ever seen him. Cellbit walks into the dark room hesitantly. Forever stands close behind them. Cellbit can tell that he's on edge. He's worried.

"Morning, Phil." Cellbit says as the light flickers on. "Roier wanted to see you."

Phil casts a cautious glance between Roier and Forever, looking for confirmation.

In response, Forever speaks. "He's family now. He can see you if he likes." He shrugs despite his obvious nervousness.

Roier's communicator was left in the hall, in the drawer where Phil's stayed. His weapons, too. Forever is very aware that people would not be happy if they saw this. He knows that Roier probably isn't too fond of it. He knows he needs to be careful.

Cellbit can see the moment his husband spots the chain on Phil's ankle. It keeps him attatched to the bed. It's a punishment. Cellbit isn't sure what for, but he doesn't want to ask.

"I thought you hated me." Phil's voice is quiet. It always is. It's quiet and shaky and it breaks Cellbit's heart.

"Why would I- Oh! No, no! Fit and Wilbur are the only ones that actually hate you!" Roier laughs. "And some of the eggs but I don't!"

Cellbit's eye twitches. His husband is not the best at saying appropriate things. It's cute sometimes but here it is not.

Phil's voice cracks slightly, "Oh." he's on the verge of tears.

Forever notices not long after Cellbit does. He moves past Roier and Cellbit, walking over to Phil to kneel in front of him. He puts his hands on Phil's knees to comfort him.

"Don't cry, sweetheart! You know they hate you for a good reason, you shouldn't get so upset."

Cellbit watches Roier lose his mask. His expression changes to one of horror and confusion as he listens to Forever 'comfort' Phil.

"I kn-" A loud smack cuts Phil off.

"Also, I told you not to speak. Meu deus, por que você não ouve?"

Roier's hand trembles as he watches. Cellbit grabs a hold of him and pulls him a little closer. Roier calms himself quickly.

Forever turns to them with a bright smile. "Sorry about that, he's been awful recently! Had a little episode a few days ago, didn't you?" He looks back at Phil.

By 'episode' Forever means that Phil was starting to refuse his orders. He did it sometimes, despite everything.

Phil nods.

"There you go, well done, honey." Forever smiles, tail wagging in delight. He pats Phil on the head, ignoring the way Phil flinches away from his hand.

Cellbit hesitates before he speaks, "What did he do?"

"Screamed at me. I told him to go to bed and he screamed and cried and tried to hurt me, so, now he's here."

Cellbit knows there's more than that. He can see Phil's expression shift as Forever explains. He'll ask Phil later.

"You- you chain him up every time he does something bad?" Roier asks, a slight tremble to his voice.

"Not every time. Depends what he did. A while ago, he screamed at me and I just taped his mouth shut for a while."

Cellbit remembers that. Forever had triggered Phil on purpose, did something he knew would scare Phil into fight or flight. He had admitted a little while after to Pac that he just liked it when Phil was afraid. He said it was cute. Like a little bird.

"Punishment needs to fit the crime! He's chained up because he wouldn't come here when I told him too." Forever smiles.

"Ah... I see." Roier forces a smile in return, Forever doesn't seem to notice how strained it is.

"It's not so bad, he's okay with it! Aren't you, Phil?"

Phil nods quickly with a shaky smile. His eyes are still watering, tears threatening to spill over as he blinks.

Forever smiles back as his tail thwacks against the floor. He stands, using one hand to lift Phil's chin to make him keep eye contact. He gives him a kiss, although it's clear he doesn't want it. Phil doesn't fight but he's certainly not happy about what's being done. Forever pulls away with a smile and strokes Phil's hair again.

"Come on, we should let Phil rest, he's tired." Forever says as he starts to walk back to Cellbit and Roier.

Cellbit nods without question, although Roier is hesitant. Forever notices and stops in his tracks.

"What?" He asks, smile fading from his features as he stares at Roier.

"Nothing! Nothing! We should be going anyway! We have.... things... to do..." Roier trails off as he smiles nervously at Forever.

"Come on, Phil's tired. Let's go." Cellbit makes his tone stern as he pulls Roier slightly back towards the door.

"Yes, okay, great idea, as always, gatinho!"

Forever hums as Cellbit unlocks the door for Roier to step out. He's not happy about any of this.

[jacksoldsideblog]

hey!! i would love to know your thoughts on how Marla’s character changes in a gender bent version of fight club :)

my thoughts on Marla as a man are (edit: WERE. this got long) much less fully formed than my thoughts of the narrator and Tyler if they were women, but I'll share what I've been kicking around!

Firstly, I've done all my characterization by looking at the characters in the original, looking at them with respect to how the narrator is a gay man (this is canonical to me, I understand it's an interpretation but I simply don't bother with others, and honestly even if you don't consider that interpretation it remains that the narrative itself was written by a gay man and it really echoes in the characters) and then letting things fold out.

I said in another post a while ago that while Marla fucks the narrator/Tyler, ultimately I don't think shes actually in any form of a relationship with them and is most bonded with a sense of friendship. Which I think I would keep, with Martin (what I decided to name male Marla).

Additionally, the narrator has a lot of semi surpressed rage about Marla — arguably about how easy she is able to do what he wants, ie fuck men, fuck Tyler, etc. about how she is an unavoidable part of his life. about how women are an unavoidable part of his life. Please note, I mean that in a "he's gay" way and not a "he's a male seperatist" way.

So for me, I think Martin would be derived from something of the same. An unavoidable part of the narrators life. Keeps coming around like a stray cat that got fed once or twice. The narrator does not like him. The narrator hates how easily he can do what she wants — be masculine unhindered, unthinking, go through life unencumbered, fuck women, does not even have to think about the shit the narrator does.

I think, also, they would be friends, in the way where they're close, and they know each others' pains even if they can't truly share them. I think Martin would actually be a lot like the narrator — building on Marla's own self characterization, he hates himself, thinks he's a waste of space. It's partially why he hangs out with misandrists.

The question becomes should Tyler and Martin fuck? Because obviously, if you were to just one to one it, they would. But I think you have to consider the differences in fantasies. The narrator (gay man) dreams up a version of himself who can have all the male brotherhood and touch, but is also capable of reaping the benefits fucking women allotts men in society. It's honrstly the most repressive part of Tyler wrt the Narrator's sexuality. The narrator (gay man) comes up with Tyler to keep Marla in his life because he can't imagine a way to just be friends with her, especially without hitting on his own insecurities.

On the other hand, lesbians tend to do things differently. Fucking men gives you more privilege in society. But it also opens you up to tons of abuse from men. Many lesbians may closet themselves but dream instead of being free of men altogether, even if they don't dare dream about fucking women. There's different pressures. In a roundabout way, the narrator (lesbian) has Tyler to make friends with Martin, too, because Tyler is confident and forceful enough to not even entertain the idea that she should be in a relationship with the only man she's around, that she's felt any interest in.

So, I wouldn't have them fuck. I think Martin and Tyler would have a bit of a toxic, lets get fucked up together thing, Tyler probably loves to make Martin worse. Tyler likes seeing a man potentially actually have an internal sense of self capable of guilt and remorse. Martin likes being told he's a piece of shit. I also think there would be some sympathy, because:

I think the only reason he would be even vaguely allowed to hang around would be if he was gay, which is something of a departure from Marla's character — but I think, given that theyre not sexually entertwinned anymore, it's okay to let something like the strange relationship between gay men and lesbians stand in the slot for "complicated relationship."

And Marla has breast cancer scares, and it's the 90s, so I think you can imagine what scares a gay Martin has. I think, having Martin would add nuance to the representation of men, in female fight club. Men don't just hurt women, they hurt men too, especially gay men, and the scales are much different but I think the narrator and Tyler would see something kindred in that, in the way they wouldn't if he was just another human buttwipe of a man. Having Martin be a human buttwipe just doesn't work in the way Marla does, so they've got to have some other kindred thing.

So overall:

-hangs around like a stray cat

-gay, probably had a lot of bad shit happen to him

-narrator resents him so bad. still goes with him to the sex health clinic

-Tyler hangs out with him and they bemoan the shit men get away with. They make lists of men who should be gunned down at the first opportunity. They get drunk and stupid and the narrator is insanely jealous someone gets to have comraderie with Tyler like that, wants it to just be her.

-Tyler occasionally sets Martin to cleaning the entirety of Paper Street house as reparations. This is the only way it gets cleaned above "functional". Martin doesn't really care

-Considers himself toxic human waste

-Mostly looks like a male version of Marla. Skinny enough to be anorexic, waxy, like's he's been beat up by an abusive boyfriend.

-Doesn't do overtly feminine things really — just sort of inherently androgynous and rides on that. He hates that guys expect him to do debasing shit just like they expect of women. This is a frequent Tyler topic

-Does still totally have that fur/feathery looking coat though

[rigginsstreet]

misc. tag game

tagged by @blood-mocha-latte

a band you don’t like that many others do:

maneskin... tried a couple songs, wanted to like them.... cant do it

a childhood memory that you remember vividly:

this costume contest i refused to enter because my costume was boring and i knew i was gonna lose by the adults were like "no just join come on itll be fun" and i was like... already consumed by the darkness at that point lmfao and i sat watching everyone crying. fun! lmfao

least favorite animal and why:

i hate a snake. i respect their role in the ecosystem but dont you ever put one near me. dont put one within 5 miles of me. no. i dont trust anything that slithers bitch aint got no legs! i dont like that. and the striking? dont like that either. i have to stop talking about them now im genuinely uncomfortable

hot fandom take:

steve harrington is not a good character. he is badly written. yall only like him cuz you think joe is hot. thats literally it. the man has literally zero positive qualities. apply this to every other loved st character as well theyre all bad the show sucks i hope everyone dies

do you were any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece:

i wear a friendship bracelet and a rope bracelet i got on a cruise (i forgot what theyre called. sailor bracelets or something?) and thats about the extent of my jewelry wearing

a movie others liked but you didn’t:

i don't think i've ever cognitively watched a movie and thought that i loved it or hated it. i'm usually just like Well That Sure Was A Movie. <- im keeping prevs because thats what wildest thing ive ever read in my life i need to study you lmfao as for my answer, insidious movies are bad. youre next is bad. many movies this website loves i havent even seen but i know they are bad thats why i havent watched them.

three things you love about yourself:

my hair is getting real cute lately. i am a huge bitch. i stare at my butt a lot i think its fun

a place you hope to visit in the future and why:

italyyyy i want to trace my roots

an actor that gets on your nerves and why:

idk if theres actors i have beef with for their personality lmao several i dont like because they are overhyped and im sick of seeing them. ariana grande she counts as an actress i cant stand her lmfao the vibes are rancid also stop dating married (taken) men its gross its weird

things you’re excited for in the nearby future?:

for my dog to finally be healed from her surgery cuz god its a lot of working making sure she dont pop her stitches

least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in:

if stancy is endgame im setting fires to buildings i want you all to know this. also fuck a steddie and a ronance but that goes without saying

what’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in?:

stranger things. riverdales a close second but stranger things... you are all genuinely mentally unwell i would like to speak to your therapists and tell them shit aint working

list three things you find beautiful about life:

the ocean my best friend the ocean. animals just be out here looking for pets... brings a tear to my eye. im really struggling for a third life is bad lmfao my best friend? thats it.

any dreams for the future?

i try not to think about the future it gives me panic attacks

how are you really feeling today?

sleepy

tagging (no pressure): @panickedpenguin @avalonlights @ihaveacorgi @imsodishy

[cyhaino]

Top 5 ships

Batcat || I am a batcat shipper until the day I die I was born a batcat shipper their dynamic has influenced me in ways i cannot explain they're married in my head oh whats that? dc was just playing with us with the whole wedding thing??? don't know what you're talking about theyre married and they have a daughter too and die old together that whole bullshit about batman needing to be alone for the good of gotham was such a fucking cop out

After that my mind went blank because I multiship so narrowing it down was a bit tough. So the following are not in any specific order and are subject to change

2. Tiduna || The first final fantasy game I ever played was x-2 so that could be why it's one of my favorite ships. it's also the only canon ff ship i like and i don't know if its the nostalgia or because the ship really is that good but i really cant imagine tidus or yuna with anyone else

3. cytham || oh they got me good like cyno really tried to kill him of course i was going to ship it because they grow to trust each other their dynamic is soooo good and i love the theories other shippers have about them

4. FLight || look i know fang and vanille are more canon and i love them too but I just like fang and lightning a bit more the third game is what really got me to ship them i think it was also the first time i looked for femslash fanfiction too because i was like "i can't be the only one seeing this right????"

5. Pippa and Felicity || oh look its the toxic doomed yuri i first discovered in middle school and i haven't been well since libbra bray you have caused me emotional distress because all of my favorite ships in the gemma doyle trilogy end in tragedy like gemma and kartik had me crying but pippa and felicity had me in bed full on sobbing because what do you mean pippa avoided corruption for so long because of their love only for her to die what do you mean that felicity chooses gemma and ann even though she loves pippa because she doesn't want to betray her friends even if hurts her

[daedalusdavinci]

(don't) ship ask: bruharvey

mybe other flavours of it as well

send me a ship and ill answer these questions depending on whether or not i ship it

based on the content of my blog i can understand why anyone might be under the impression that i actually cant fuckign stand bruharvey, and even think its the worst batman ship. so it may come as a surprise that i actually fucking love it

alksdfnsdf listen we ALL know. we all know. this blog is basically just a bruharv blog at this point i barely post anything else. there are so many different flavors of bruharv and im going to try and be coherent about this as much as possible. bear w me here

What made you ship it?

batman 1942 annual #14. EASY. it was one of the first 2f comics i ever read and one of the first COMICS i ever read. i was immediately obsessed with bruce and harveys friendship and the heartbreak of the whole story i LOVE a good divorced dynamic its just so. UGH. and the fact that in hush bruce states that part of the reason why he hesitates to pursue a relationship w selina is bc he doesnt want to lose her like harvey?? dark victory????? BTAS BRUHARV???? "sleep well my friend. wherever you are, whatever youve become, i will save you."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "good old bruce. hes never given up on me. hes always been my best friend."!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO LOSE MY MIND OVER THEM!!!!!! sobbing crying screaming

from there it was just a quick descent into madness really

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

i rlly like the variation in the different dynamics and how it can be literally heartbreaking in so many different ways! i also just love that theyre FRIENDS, that they still love each other despite everything, just the. AUGH. bruharv is the blueprint, you already know, but like adding in matches puts a spin of it thats just so fucking. bittersweet and hard to look away from its like bracing for a hit but its so fucking good you have to love them. harvey knows its bruce, and knowing hes trying like this but being unable to acknowledge it, just taking whatever you can, its just. hh. and w 2f not knowing its bruce, just growing attached to this man who reminds him so much of the first man he ever really loved, who is able to see him as he is and acknowledge it and love him anyway, and not have to compromise any of that for him!! and KNOWING its bruce, knowing that the realization is going to hurt 2f and bruce wants so bad to help him and be close to him but cant ever risk getting close enough to let him find out!!! and twobruce is like. augh. ive already ranted about them ive already obsessed youll just have to go read that bc this is already too long slkdjfnsdkf. i just kNOW bruce is still so important to 2f i know he loves him i know it. twobats is just hatefucking w an undercurrent of extreme angst on bruces side and harvbat is peak unhealthy delusional angsty hatefucking i love them theyre deranged

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

2f is not a villain anymore than harv is they both have complex relationships w bruce and batman and morality and if you believe otherwise youre ableist <3 im not fucking joking. some of you really need to spend some time researching did bc you bought way too hard into the evil alter trope in a way that disturbs me deeply. get help.

also i think there should be more hatefucking and toxicity i love it when old men are bad people

[cryoriku]

hey you know it's really awesome and cool when ur a grown adult and after getting in a fight with ur mother who still insists on disrespecting and mocking you at any chance, ur adoptive father who has only ever been a source of fear since you were very little calls and instead of screaming at you he's very level and is legitimately concerned about my mental state.

some of his takes are still very shitty. even tho i routinely try the pacifist approach with her she can't stop mocking me and disregarding my boundaries and he acknowledges how aggressive she can be, he still puts the burden on me to be better and suck it up for the sake of maintaining a relationship (which is bs. both sides need to work or i shouldnt have to put up with it after all the abuse i dealt with as a child). and he thinks i need to just get back on meds which is such a backwards stereotype way of thinking that isnt accurate bc i stopped my last new meds bc they didnt really do much for me and gave me bad side effects.

it makes me feel like shit and embarassed now for being depressed and like all the efforts i have been making on getting out of my apartment more often and eating healthier and stuff arent being seen and just the worst of me is. it sucks too bc our mental health took a new redive after one of our ex's told us how we seem to not want to get better. which is an insanely fucked up thing to say and not worth listening to so we have tried to just ignore it but it haunts us still along with toxic ex friends whove talked about how pathetic and disgusting we are for being mentally/emotionally weak. which is wrong and bullshit and hirrible and WE HAVE gotten better before we want to be better again we're sick of living in a rollercoaster we want to be ourselves again 100% of the time and not just some of it, but believe it or not it's hard to keep your head above water much less swim to shore when people are constantly shoving you back down and wondering why youre not succeeding in breathing. dont you see how hard I'm trying?

plus with our dad it just gives us a fucked up moral dilemma of ik how estranged and distant his family is like theyre allergic to showing courtesy or affection and he was raised to be a good mannered cowboy and just sit and take when his mother does him wrong because it's family and he doesn't wanna lose it, so the same is true here, but I've already had it in my head for years that at some point i may have to cut ties. I'm just fucking caught. I'm trapped by the good moments we have, the good aspects of my parents and my sister. I'm caught by the fact my dad doesnt have a close family and everybody in my moms family has that same genetic ego that makes everyone think theyre better than everyone else or made them isolate and hide and die from drug overdoses alone in their bathroom. I'm caught by my baby niece who i don't want to leave alone with these people. I'm caught by my dog and grandma, until they pass, anyway. I'm caught by the stupid child in me who still *craves* a mother, *craves* a father, craves this idea of a family i never really had except in blurry photos if you dont look too close.

any fucking ways..... if anybody is able to get a therapist who can actually help me and not waste a year of my time trying to put me on drugs because they dont know how to do shit with systems and trauma to actually email me back, that would be epic.

i also want everyone reading this to stop seeing people as only their struggles or their trauma or their disability and start seeing them as PEOPLE with personalities and likes and interests first. believe it or not we don't think about our trauma or hardship a lot of the fucking time and it's real weird and a total fuckin bummer if thats all you seem to see. so, yeah.

have a happy sexy naughty bitchy sephiroth labor day guys

[ohumokay]

I saw ur comment on the friend post and even though we have an age gap it baffles me that we seem to be having the same issues in regards to friendships. idk if society has always been cliquey or overly selective of who it lets join in and vice versa. but lately idk whats been up with peoples way of communicating you would think even with all tihs digitalised methods that people would want to but yet it seem no one does either bc theyre so self absorbed or they are "too busy" esp for those that have 100s of friends online but never enough time to every one so some of us sadly get put aside or we just drift apart if they dont align or do enough like i dont even care about gifts and no cards and shit fuck that id rather just have few solid connections than none.

what sucks is the other people who then gloat on their profiles or accounts and ik they "busy" with others. i try to find things in common with others but its so hard sometimes because then you feel like you have to force yourself to genuinely care about shit you dont care about in order to find somewhere to fit in. i recently tried doing online zoom quizzes and they were absolute hell, first off zoom is the worst way to try to feel included in on any sort of group esp when u dont know them right off the bat then these quizzes were god awful to keep up with esp the speedquizzing ones. i only did them cause this was the only way my "friend" would keep in touch long enough w/ me.

its a sad world we are in where people are mostly only interested in themselves, even in school this was the case. idk i just kinda gave up cause i dont think i will ever find who im looking for cause it feels like if im not doing xyz things no one going to care if im not here type thing. yet im tired of finding people only to then feel like they arent pulling their efforts back, again idc for gifts but is it so hard for people to idfk send messages in return or to keep a friendship going? outside of having common interests?

sorry for rambling but i feel like no one really seems to want deep meaningful connections no more. everuthings done for their benefit or for posting online and showcasing it to others their "fake" as fuck connections that they claim to have with people.

Hey... Yeah, I completely understand what you mean. A lot of ppl have shallow ass relationships views nowadays, or avoid real connections.

I think I know which comment you're talking about: the one about my ex-bsf who basically ghosted me. That friendship was not only one sided, but toxic asf. They would shit on my beliefs, make jokes at my expense, and if they were called out for their behavior, they'd say that it didn't matter bcuz they were gonna off themself anyway. It was really shitty, and towards the end, they made it very clear they were a fake friend (literally called themself fake) so I had to cut ties my own way.

I'm sorry your "friend" couldn't compromise in communication. That is such a sucky feeling; trying to keep a friendship afloat, even if the other person isn't. And it's sad that no one in this world can have a normal conversation.

Don't get me wrong, me and the friends I have left (including my new BSF) don't text anything deep. Like, we text all the time, but we usually avoid deep conversations. Not bcuz we can't have meaningful conversation, but bcuz we don't feel comfortable texting; deep shit should be said in person, or,at the bare minimum, over a phone call. So that's why we text pretty shallow, or not at all. But, our friendship is also strong enough to withstand a few days without talking and still being closer than ever.

I understand your exhaustion, for a while I shared your sentiment, but I firmly believe that everyone has a person. A person who they can talk to freely, whenever, without worry of toxicity or emotional distance. A person who is always there with a shoulder to cry on, and advice that one might need to hear, even if they don't want to hear it. A person who will be willing to sit in silence when need be, or rant with them, or simply listens bcuz talking without interruption is therapeutic. A person who is their person, through thick and thin.

And, I know we don't know each other, and have an age gap (tho, idk how large it is), but if you need someone to listen to your rants and rambles, or to talk you through a situation, or to just tell you your heard and appreciated, I'm more than willing. And this goes to anyone who needs it, not just the questioner. I am willing to be a surrogate person until you find your actual person.

I'm not perfect, I might not say the right thing, it might take me a while to respond, but I will always be willing to help a fellow person in need, even over Tumblr ❤️‍🩹

[mikiruma]

actually wtf is going on in the replies of the breaking bad post we reblogged earlier???? do people think breaking bad is a show about our good buddy walter white who was thrust into an unfair situation and was rewarded for killing people????? sorry to drop spoilers for a show that ended 9 years ago but

heres just a short list of things i can remember he did off the top of my head

rejected payment for his treatment out of pride/resentment for the old friend offering (who was a BILLIONAIRE)

got into meth without really any prompting (yes he was desperate but you could argue he could have done literally anything else in his position instead of stew quietly and fuck around in the desert)

kills/severely injures 2 people the second time cooking ever

(throughout the show) manipulating/gaslighting his wife, his lab partner, anyone he thinks he has an inkling of power over

when his meth empire as he knows it crumbles he starts working with actual white supremacists

one of which shoots/kills a child in front of him, which he defends

literally nearly every scene of him and jesse interacting

indirectly caused the universe's "9/11 two" (by watching/letting the daughter of the air traffic controller who took responsibility die) (the daughter happening to be jesse's gf at the time)

at a school assembly addressing this he essentially told the student body & faculty (many of which were directly affected by the tragedy ie property damage via plane/body parts or severe emotional trauma from witnessing) to "get over it"

poison's jesse's new gf's son to manipulate jesse into killing their boss, who they don't like admittedly but jesse isn't an overzealous idiot

literally every scene where he tells skyler "you dont know WHAT ive done for this family... to protect us..." literally nobody asked you to start cooking meth and terrorizing people

ok on god this show is designed to make you sympathize with him early on bc hes sad and desperate and trying to be a strong brave man but he gets so gradually unlikeable and is continuously punished and doesnt understand WHY bc he was BADASS and BUSINESS IS BOOMING and honestly i cant give you a specific point when i personally stopped rooting for walt bc i've been rewatching slowly and just always knew he was a shithead but i WILL say it is extremely apparent when, in the beginning, he cries abt how he does it to secure a future for his family & keep them out of medical debt and even originally has a set dollar amount goal! but in early s5 he calls $5mil 'pennies' and even before then its extremely obvious it hasnt been about the family for a long ass time, hes no longer interested in securing a future, hes trying to flex his wealth (NOT EVEN BOTHERING WITH MONEY LAUNDERING UNTIL S4?????) and "prove" how much of a hero he can be to his family who never asked him to do any of this.

this show is awesome bc you get to watch a guys joker arc set in over the course of a year or so and he sucks SO BAD. it literally shows how the nightmare medical industry drives people to desperate measures. it shows toxic masculinity and the problems with the nuclear family mindset/image and a wonderfully awful demonstration of how pride can rot you. seeing ppl say they wont watch the show because it touches on those themes at all, being completely dismissive of how theyre examined or what the point in all of it is, is really fucking weird. i dont mean to sound like a married middle-class white man in a mid-life crisis who thinks he's walter white and would kin him if i knew what that meant (and was simultaneously too cool for comic books so i cant relate to the joker at all) but this show is fucking cool and i have just witnessed the other side of the fanbase revival, which is 'people who have never seen it who think they know what its about posting their opinions online and it hurts my little autistic brain'

[fricc-darn]

▪︎ BEN x Abused Reader ▪︎

This is a request :D

TW: ABUSE/ SUICIDE / AND MENTIONS OF SELF HARM

PLS DONT READ OF THESE TRIGGER YOU

Hope yall enjoy! :D

********************************************************

Even when the relationship is over they're still as toxic as ever. Having enough of their abusive and neglectful tendencies you decided to put your foot down. They still think they're entitled to your messages, calls, attention, everything about you. At the end of the day its all to better themselves at your expense. You think that being in a better relationship would give you a peace of mind, but geuss you're just unfortunate. Today they walked up to you walking by yourside begging you to come back, while ironically degrading you in the process. They really can't accept you've moved on.

You knew better not to fall into their tricks again although it gets harder each day trying to block out their words, especially when your mood drops around them. They keep asking questions about your current relationship too and it starting to make your anxiety snowball. "Hey! Come here please!" They whined while attempting to grab your hand, it prompted you to shout firmly "Get the hell away from me!". They immediately scurried away. It may have drawn some eyes or could be seen as 'over dramatic' but it doesn't matter they're not the ones dealing with this shit.

Your ex was quite for the rest of the day, while others consoled them, you've had people and even a few past "friends" try changing your your mind. Why? Do your feelings not matter to them? They know how they've treated you, they've seen it too. Yet your the one being questioned. Getting your bag off the ground you decided it's time to leave. Going home you wondered if things would get better if you decided to get back with them even of your in a better relationship, would going out in public be more tolerable? You know the answer to that dumb question and decide to scold yourself, your just not in the right place its getting really hard to deal with.

~~~

Once home you instantly changed and flopped on your bed sprawling out, not bothering to shower. You wanted to cry still you're just so exhausted tears refused to fall. Geuss the flop onto the bed was loud enough BEN heard, hearing his footsteps lead into the room. Once in, he stood there for a while before opening his mouth.

"Hello...you walked past me once you got home. That's odd."

You rolled over giving a quick 'hi' flashing a smile. You don't feel comfortable being around anyone right now. They decided to get closer to the side of your bed continuing to stare. "I can tell something is wrong." Your face scrunched up in annoyance; telling BEN can cause more problems, you just want this to be over with. You nodded your head 'yes' and turned around. It's best to get some quick shut eye all of this is giving you a headache.

~~~

Ding!

Ding!

Ding!

Your phone flashes and vibrates as new messages flood in. Tossing around you can't decipher whether or not its apart of your dream, though it's not enough of a concern to wake you. BEN picked up your phone unlocking it with ease, quickly going over to read the new texts.

"You're a peice of shit you'll get wats coming to u"

"Fuck you you've ruined me im not the same person anymore I won't have a future because of u"

"I'm sorry its just hard im being a new person but"

Messages flew in! Varying in diffrent length, some even sending in group bursts. They stood there unphased 'This is kinda pathetic' letting out a soft chuckle, does this lowlife talk to you like this? Is this the person making your life hell?

"Its because of that new person your with! Its not worth it they're gonna leave you!!!! THEYRE TRASH PLEASE COME BACK"

"Hes not worth it trust me hes a no good shit eating basement dweller"

More messages trying to insult him came in. They really shouldn't have done that. Did it phase BEN? No. Did it enable him even more? Yes. Not only have they been antagonizing you for God knows how long, but trying to insult him would open a new world of torment just for them. Clutching your phone their knuckles turned white seeing more into past messages. As angry as he felt there was a child like glee inside of them. They started to save the log chats for himself and did some digging about this person. While working he came across your notes files in a hidden folder with a password; they decided to read a few it can be convenient later.

~~~

Dawn broke, today's a new day. Opening your eyes you dreaded that you even saw a new day; disappearing or sleeping for a week or maybe forever doesn't sound so bad..It's hard yet you focused on remembering the fact you've got things to do and loved ones to see. You don't want your enimies to win no matter what, things will be alright soon the roller coster of life.

Another nightmare another groggy morning struggling to fully wakeup. Eventually you hopped out of bed you managed to bump into BEN's chest. Landing you back on the bed, his green hair flowed as they took a step back. It's dark eyes made you feel small, looking down at you with disgusted pity as if you were a wounded street rat. Before you got the chance to open your mouth he interjected "I appreciate some honesty." Rolling their eyes and sucking on their teeth they continued "But they'll pay. You have to trust me or else it won't go well for you either." All of this said it's typical smile.

You tried thinking about the potential consequences but honestly you've made up your mind, they're smart enough to take care of everything...It's what he does for a "living" anyways. To seal the agreement you hugged it by the torso; per usual they stiffed up, he was also slightly warm but they relaxed much quicker and promptly gave a quick hug in return. "I wouldn't do this if you could to something about it you know? But you've done enough I geuss." It started to pat your back (they were more like slaps). After the quick hug broke you got ready to head off, as you were going to say your goodbyes BEN was no where to be seen. Your worried about what it could have instore.

~~~

This whole week you've overheard small murmurs about your ex like; they're having trouble logging into their social medias/being locked out of them, stuff going missing, and their phone bugging with flashing colors every so often.

As time progressed the extremities of these punishments started to worsen and the more they distanced themselves from others. For example their nudes got leaked along with other sensitive info, the constant harrasment of BEN and others who switched up on them. Seeing them around it's clear they're in horrible shape: they look frail, on edge, and out of it. No one has questioned you either and it makes you think what is he doing to them?

~~~

You've decided to talk to him about it again today no holding back. "BEN they look like they've learned their lesson, they haven't spoken to me or have done anything involving me. I- it's ok now". He looked down at you and laughed "Oh this isn't what you wanted? I know you wanted them gone." They looked deep into your eyes making your soul rattle, hands in a fist as tears swelled. "I DON'T WANT THEM TO DIE THOUGH! I DONT WANT BLOOD ON MY FUCKING HANDS BEN!!"

Anxiety started to consume you feeling your heart been throb in your throat; you don't want them to die this isn't what you wanted all you wanted was for them to leave you alone. His laugh got more maniacal and face face started to distort as he held your hands with pressure. "Dont lie apart of you wanted them dead! There's nothing wrong with getting rid of people like them. The amount of blood on your hands will be nothing compared to mine." BEN's face got closer to yours and whispered "You never had an issue with me doing this. Do you only care now cuz' my game is directly effecting you?" The pitching of their voice changes felt like forks scraping your ears.

"No, it's not like I can stop you anyways.." You looked down and started to sob, you felt a pat on your head as he spoke "Exactly my point, once this game has stared there's no going back. I won't stop, even for you."

~~~~~~

"I don't know what to do please help me!" Frantic but still there frozen in fear one of your ex's friends (an old friend of yours) started bawling their eyes out they've yet to make a cohrent sentence. "Take a deep breath man. What's up with you?" Not liking how close they were you took a step back. They fought through their tears and courge finally manifested.

"They fucking killed themselves! Their family and police haven't been able to find the body but h-here's the note.." You grabbed the phone out of their trembling hands 'No way their actually dead, right? BEN couldn't have made them commit suicide right?!' Thoughts raced as you started scanning and absorbing their words. The disparity and fear of it all made it hard to read they sounded paranoid with the typis but you know it was justified. He's always observing. You couldn't stop reading espically after getting to a separate part dedicated to only you.

"I know wat I did to you was unexcusable and I can't move on from this. It's physically coming back to hurt me and I'm so sorry. My sins are are oout to get me, I see them and hear them;nothing feels real anymore. They're following me as a constant reminder that I shouldn't have treated you like shit I shouldn't have said or done any of that im sorry im sorry im so so sorry. I haven't slept or eaten in days. I see it now i should have accepted this sooner, even if i apologize nothing can solve this. Everything is over for me, I'm sorry. I'm no better than any other lowlife pleaesbe don't pity me. I just I hope you have a good life please forget me. For your sake you don't need more pain.

-Goodbye."

Tears ran down your face, quickly you got your belongings and took of going home. You need at least a week of; even if you hated them you didn't want it to end like this you didn't want it taking an even worse toll on your mental health. Ever since that talk you saw your ex and BEN less and less.

'BING!'

An unknown number sent you a phtoto.

It was the gruesome body of your ex; laying on the floor black and blue. Cold and lifeless, with a noose around their neck their eyes bloodshot red with a trail of blood dripping down their broken nose. It was so tight you can see the rope gripping the skin. Your gut wrenched it too much.

Home again you collapsed on the floor only supporting yourself with your arms, snot running down your nose and eyes red with sorrow. You know you didn't cause any of this it was all HIM. Speaking of the devil it comes with a grin, their manurism are off it's the way he acts when they've successfully pushed someone over the edge. "Greetings." His voice and body look even more distorted as they walked up to you. Their eyes shot down at the wailing mess you are. "Oh it soo upsetting that your crying. Not like it matters you'll come around."

Looking up they continued to speak down to you. "You'll forget about them. It can take months or maybe a year but in the end they're just another person, another peice of life. Death comes to all of us and their time ran out a bit too soon." They laughed and put a hand on your head shaking it around. "But still you keep acting so ungrateful! Why are you crying over them? Don't tell me you feel bad now. You only have me now we're all better off."

They stopped shaking your head, you held it with one hand as it pulsed. The last part of his statement stuck out to you 'how jealous were they?'. BEN's attitude switched "I know how they treated you. All the abuse I know your glad they got what they deserved on the onside." It chuckled as it landed a hand out to you. He was right you hated them, you hated how they treated you, the way your ex screwed a major part of your social life, and had people betray you even thoes who were your 'close friends'. Does he really know how you feel?

"It's for the best isn't it? I just did what they would've done to you and I cant let that happen now can I? You don't need trash bringing you down. Also get off the ground its filthy." It's right.. your ex would've done the same thing to you. They've already harmed you and made you harm yourself; what made you think they wouldn't push you that far? They know how you feel even worse if you did die your and and their friends would make it into a sob story for them. You'll think about all of this later its just too much to take in right now. You held his warm hand as he helped you up. "If you want I supposeee we can hug..." they pushed their soft hair away from their face, whilst its head faced the side and he opened his arms. You gave in hugging them tightly going limp and burying your face in the crook of it's neck.

Though a undescribeable feeling is still looming over you; it's not sadness or anything of the sort. Even if your with BEN you still fear them. Why does he have to be so unpredictable? You Starting to question if this is all worth it; if something changes their mind then he'll discard you getting the same if not worse treatment as your ex and others before them. Until then they're in your life forever.

[villxinmiixx]

I'd like for everyone to know and realize once again that i will block anyone that is being toxic or offends me in anyway, i get that you're trying to have fun or that's it's a “joke” but really no one's laughing except you 😬

that's awkward ain't it? 💀

it's absolutely disrespectful of you to just go on my blog/account and just copy the link of one of my posts and send it to a server that includes people that hate me 😐

call me “sensitive” call me whatever names you like but i put my discord life separate from my tumblr life. 😐

that's why i removed my tumblr link from my about me, cuz' people would call me a pedo for “dating” a minor? i haven't even dated anyone since two years ago are you kidding me?

most of y'all think you guys act like “girlbosses” or some shit but in reality you're just another mannerless teenager on the internet.

sometimes i feel like you should've been in my shoes so you could shut the fuck up and pay some respect to people you don't know.

respect works like this: if you respect this person they will respect you back.

but if you disrespect them they disrespect you back.

if they're your family members they're most likely going to disrespect you no matter what the fuck you do because they're your “fAmILy” and they think they can do whatever the fuck they want just because they're older than you or just cuz' the other family members like them more than you.

if the person disrespects you first you walk away and never talk about it again, since really. if you keep talking about it it'll feel like you'll never let go.

and i was given a screenshot that the second person i fought with did not let it go; uh okay yeah i definitely left the server because of you and not the fact because of another incident but okay suit yourself keep imagining dumb shit like that.

i ain't letting go cuz' you aren't, stop acting like you're regina george and put your shit together cuz' really people would just think you're a narcissistic, toxic piece of shit because of that.

and tbh they'll be right and if you say “that's jUst BecaUse tHeyre JealoUs” or “tHat's bEcAusE tHey kNow i'M better tHan aLl of yOu” naw we're just saying it cuz' it's the truth.

hopefully you'll change one day tbh, i really hope you do.

cuz' in an all honesty c, i actually wanted to be friends with you when you came to the christmas server. too bad ig, but i'm pretty sure you didn' t even wanna be friends with me so win-win.

[char-lotteral]

Look I'm not one of those people who believe Kishimoto decided to have Hinata and Naruto end up in the middle part of Shippuden. I believe he decided in the very last arc but he wanted to sound smart so he said he decided earlier on. Otherwise, they obviously would have more scene together. In Shippuden, they have only three scenes together ; when Naruto came back, the pain attack and the neji death scene. That's it. In the original Naruto, they probably have less than ten canon scenes not including fillers.

So I'm sorry I'm one of those who wasn't convinced by The Last. They literally had a basic villain go after Hinata who was cringe btw (the villain). They gave Hinata op powers which she doesn't have in the novel 👀. Despite having op powers, they made her the damsel in distress. Very "The hero saves the princess" cliche. Again, to justify them being together. I mean Naruto can't differentiate his love for ramen and romantic love so how??? He was just being nice to Hinata just like he does to everyone. He stood up for her just like he does for everyone.

Don't get me started on the Sakura Sasuke relationship 🤣. Cringe. They never knew each other. The whole Sakura's love for Sasuke saved him doesn't make sense. They spent barely a year in their genin year before sasuke left. Sasuke tried to kill Naruto and Sakura multiple times. Then at the end of the war, Kishimoto tried to do the "oh they have such a deep understanding between each other" which comes off as cringey. He gets her pregnant then leaves for years. She's literally a single mom who's broke.

Every relationship in Naruto is so cringey and forced except shikatemari. Kishimoto should've focused on the main story and fixed his potholes and leave the ending open.

Naruto would not have been perfect but at least it would've been remembered for staying true to its vision but instead it's remembered for cringey relationships, dumbass villain (except pain and madara) and a story that lost its core which is a shame coz I used to love Naruto. I was inspired by its messages but now....

OKAY LOL WAIT I ACTUALLY HAVE THIS LONG ASS RANT PREPARED XD

BUT FIRST Ive read what you said and I lowkey agree :p

HOWEVER

I DRAW THE LINE AT TONERI SLANDER. BECAUSE WHY

TONERI?? CRINGE?? THIS SEXY MOTHERFUCKER??

LOOK AT HIS WHITE FLUFFY HAIR AND HIS CERULEAN BLUE ORBS STARING DEEPLY INTO YOUR SOUL

SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW?!#*@*#&@*

okay lol now for the juicy part click readmore and beware I shall be brutally honest so yea enjoy

I mean, Naruto in general is a mess, not just the ships if we're being realistic. Alot of plotholes, rushed endings, this and that, the w a r a r c, Kaguya, the way they rushed Boruto ehhh. Honestly, getting into Naruto is literally my biggest regret of 2020 :"DD

Im an NH shipper as you can tell by my hotmess of a blog but i fully respect your opinion and understand your point of view. I also know a bunch of nh stans who have their complaints with their development. I wish Kishi gave more attention to his female cast really, thats all I fucking ask. If he did that one single basic thing, then maybe the endgame relationships wouldnt have been an asspull and theyd be given propper screentime with their love interest, both Sakura and Hinata. The Last tbh i think the writers played it safe and stuck to the whole Naruto shounen vibe thingy, so im not surprised it was plotted that way. Typical cliché shounen movie.

But does that bother me? No! The Last was a mess, their development was shit, they definitely needed more screentime but hey at the end of the day theyre cute as fuck, we have that kiss scene, flirting scenes, a shit ton of official art, three kids, Seiki's gif :33 and a whole ass arc for their wedding all that for just a shounen anime so eh. Compensates for it i guess xD theyre not toxic, unhealthy or whatnot. Theyre wholesome, soft and vanilla as fuck and exactly what i need in my hectic life rn. No drama, just two kind souls who are adorable as heck and theyre dynamic means so much to me and I will love them until i shall leave this earth.

Anon, im not even gonna waste my time and defend their development because i think it sucked too xD but if you wanna know why i love them so so so soooo much, Id be more than willing to tell you :33

Sasuke and Sakura on the other hand eeeehhhh i can see why people like them. Sasuke's hot, he's your typical hot bad boy aad Sakura's hot and pretty too. Basic blue and pink trope. Aside from their canon interactions, fans have all the opportunity to play around with their dynamic but for me, its just sooo basic and so hetero and can easily appeal to any 16 yr old teenage girl, no wonder it has an active fanbase on twt and---- AM I MAKING ANY SENSE? AHDBAJJE LIKE ITS SO-- BASIC, your usual bad boy x pretty girl trope that you get to read in YA and coming of age novels. Not only that, but going back to canon, they have too many negative interactions for me to like them together :p The least Sakura can do is put down her own foot and yell at him for not contacting them for god knows how long. I also dont like how he always gets easily forgiven >=[[. I mean at least He's compensating as a dad good for him but ehhhh i still dont like him and Sakura together :v And im not falling for that "Sakura is the reason why Sasuke isnt lonely anymore" because thats NARUTO AHHH. Sasuke said that Multiple times. HE LIGHTS A FIRE INSIDE OF ME. HES MY SUN. MY ONE AND ONLY FRIEND. LIEK?? THATS NARUTOOO romantic or not, Naruto was the reason for his not so lonely existence anymore smh >=[[

Sasuke almost murdered her and Naruto and made their lives a living hell but hey its all good!! He's my best friend and Sakura loves him!! So set him freeee into the worldddd~~

Sasuke left his family without even simply contacting them but can easily contact Naruto through a hawk but hey thats fine! His and Sakura's feelings are connected afterall! Sasuke gave her a ring and said thank you! Who cares about leaving your family. She loves him and he loves her so yey!!! All is forgiven :D

DID I MENTION SASUKE ALMOST MUREDERED HIS OWN DAUGHTER AND HE WASNT CALLED OUT FOR THAT@*#&@??!?#,*@#,#

Sasuke gets too many life points this isnt fair >=[[ But tbh he's nerfed so bad in Boruto manga and anime power wise. Like in that time travel arc and the manga. The rinnegan kunai thing was still so funny to me even if it was Borushiki. I just idk its so funny to me lmaoo

OKAY WHAT ELSE. I dont even know any more. Im tired of complaining about Naruto and just when Ive finally gone a little bit away from Naruto, Hinata fucking pulls me in again 😩 she has me on chokehold pls send help. Watch castlevania!!! and one piece!!!! ten times better than this anime about a loud blonde boi who wants to be president. Trust me

overall, i dont fully agree but i lowkey agree i guess. I do respect your opinion tho :))

EXCEPT WHEN YOU CALLED TONERI CRINGE. HOW DARE YOU CALL THAT SEXY MF CRINGEY---

[lostnfinding]

ok honestly... you can definitely explain watt to me. it seems interesting and i don't have much to do :) -mango

tw for murder, attempted murder, stabbing, violence, addiction

and spoiler warning, of course

-----

the tigers are a really bad cheer team that consists on

Riley: senior, capitan of the team. pretty optimistic and dedicated to the team, wants everything to be perfect. friends with Cairo

Cairo: senior, was prom princess the year before (talks a lot about it on the first act). a bit aggressive. friends with Riley

Kate: junior, used to do gymnastics. sarcastic, doesnt really like the team, sort of in love with Chess (her best friend)

Chess: senior, used to do gymnastics but got injured and couldnt go back. she got addicted to her pain meds, and while in a game, she dropped Farrah (the flier), who got a concussion. best friends with Kate

Farrah: sophomore. shes an alcoholic and kinda hates Chess for what happened. Annleigh is her stepsister, but they dont really get along, Farrah tries but Annleigh doesnt really let her get through her

Annleigh: junior, really religious. shes Farrah's step sister and has gotten in trouble for not watching her before. in a long term relationship with Clark

Clark: he's a senior (im pretty sure? someone correct me if im wrong). hes also religious (tho i dont think he is as much as Annleigh) and he is the only one who isnt on the team.

Reese: senior, the teams mascot. she's overweight and has been bullied her whole life because of it. thats also the reason why she didnt get on the team for years, even tho is is really good

Mattie: freshman. she is quite enthusiastic and a bit awkward like you would expect of a 14 year old joining a new team. she is also the purest bean and must be protected even tho she can protect herself

Eva (pronounced like Ava): idk if we really know what year shes in, but ive seen her a lot as a junior. she appears on the first act to deliver a pizza, then on the second act she gets on the team

now to the plot:

act one passes on the annual sleep over in Riley's house. they all are having different problems and conflicts about being there, including but not limited to: Farrah being drunk, Kate just being Done With This Shit, Chess relapsing and Riley wanting everything to be perfect. Kate and Farrah end up getting in an argument and Kate goes outside to cool off, followed by Chess. When outside, they talk and Kate opens up about being scared that Chess will forget about her after going to college, and Chess reassures her she wont, which Kate doesnt believe. Kate goes back inside while Chess cools off, get mad at Cairo and goes back out to find Chess, seemingly taking pills. they argue when Kate sees that theyre the same pills she was addicted to. at the same time, Annleigh and Farrah argue after Farrah makes Annleigh drop her phone in an attempt to get her attention, since she was too focused on Clark. the phone breaks and Annleigh yells at Farrah.

*angsty song plays* Chess gets stabbed and is murdered by an unseen person

in the kitchen, Clark surprises Annleigh and ends up proposing. before she can respond, Cairo starts looking for her and Clark has to hide.

Reese has a song about what she wanted people to see her as and its a very nice and slightly sad song (Captain of the Team)

*angsty song reprise* Farrah gets stabbed and dies

Reese finds Farrah and while shes there, Clark surprises her and she accidentally kills him

Riley and Cairo get into an argument and we see how toxic their relationship is

Kate finds Chess, then everyone goes to them, and after that they find Reese in the bathroom with dead Clark and Farrah

they end up agreeing in incriminating Mattie, and she gets sent to juvie.

time passes and act two happens a few months later. Riley was able to get the school to give Eva a full cheer scholarship and is very optimistic about the next months.

Kate and Annleigh are both still grieving and Annleigh is very conflicted, since she thinks that Clark and Farrah were together, together and keeps telling herself she doesnt have to mourn them. Reese tells Kate that she accidentally killed Clark and Annleigh overhears and they start a physical fight

meanwhile, Eva is just there, very confused and wondering why the fuck did she agree to joining this team

they end up arguing and find out Riley was the one who killed Chess and Farrah. they want out and Kate ends up being stabbed on the leg. Reese manages to knock Riley out and they call the police.

more time passes and Mattie is released from juvie, the ones who incriminated her get trials and community service and the team is back together. Cairo is captain and Eva and Kate are dating. everyone realizes that life is hard but they are there and thats a victory. they all are healing and stuff, and they understand that thats okay

[loplainlointhemorning]

You don't have to answer this if you don't want to but what's up with the Courtney Love controversy? Why are people accusing her of manipulation or whatever? I'm totally new to this discussion

hey darling!! no worries, I love discussing Kurt & Court bc theyre my surrogate parents and they emotionally raised me when I had a difficult relationship w my Mom and Dad, plus I’m named after Kurt and he’s part of the reason I realized my ~gender~, so needless to say I have a surplus of information on them. Plus their music fucks. anyways, this is gonna be a masterpost-

my credentials(sources I have taken my information and formed my opinion on Kurt & Court’s relationship from if u need to look into them):

-Heavier Than Heaven(Book by Charles Cross, authorized by Kurt’s estate. Charles Cross is a well known grunge/music historian and has literally devoted his life to researching and writing rockstar biographies, including several on Nirvana. One of my favorite books ever.)

- Montage Of Heck(Documentary on Kurt’s life. Produced by his daughter, Frances. I have some heavy criticisms of this film and of the interviews in it, but it does have some reflections on Kurt and Courtney’s relationship that I think are important.)

- Hit So Hard(a documentary on Hole’s drummer, Patty Schemel. Minor discussions of Kurt and Kurt and Courtney.)

- Verse Chorus Verse(Fan-made documentary series on Kurt’s life, widely regarded by Nirvana fans the most in depth play-by-play biography that exists- and it’s free on YouTube, which is lit.)

sources I don’t pull from, but many younger Nirvana fans do(the people who buy into the conspiracies generally):

Kurt and Courtney- A documentary made in the late 90’s under the guise of biography, but is actually about the conspiracy theory that Courtney killed Kurt. I saw it when I was a new fan and I literally laughed out loud from how apeshit it was.

Soaked In Bleach- ‘Biopic’ about Courtney killing Kurt. I haven’t seen it but straight men who think Courtney is ugly take it more seriously than the Bible. Very little truth ever goes into these theories, besides maybe names and dates.

Anything Hank Harrison(Courtney’s father) has to say- He wrote a book on the subject. He also gave her acid and lost custody of her when she was three years old. He’s a shit parent and I doubt he’s actually seen his daughter since the 80’s.

Anything Buzz Osborne(Kurt’s friend, singer for the Melvins, a band Kurt looked up to in Montesano) says- I think Buzz’s opinion is taken way too seriously by a lot of the fan base, I read an interview of his criticizing Montage Of Heck because Kurt ‘didn’t really have a stomach disease’ and was just lying about it to get high, and also about how he hated having to see Courtney naked, and made a good long point about how disgusting her body is. IOn top of all that(none of which really has to do with critiquing the film...?), he mocked Kurt and called him a loser for committing suicide. I don’t care what your opinion on his stomach, his wife, or his music is, that shit is callous and idiotic, but totally reflective of the 70’s and 80’s mentality regarding the mentally ill. He’s part of the legion of pretentious punk dudes who *kind of* knew Kurt, who think Courtney’s the one who ‘corrupted’ him, which brings me around to answering your question.

So, there’s this idea regarding Kurt and Courtney’s relationship, which is pretty similar to the one surrounding Sid and Nancy’s(or at least used to.) Courtney is the whiny, annoying, petulant bitch who attached herself to the first trophy she could find, and through her terrible manipulative personality kept him with her and kept him from getting better. In this mode of thinking, She’s also the person who ‘started’ him on drugs, and in a few people’s eyes, the person who ‘forced’ him to have Frances.

The reality of the situation, as I see it, as someone who’s gone to pretty decent lengths to inform themselves on the subject, is that Kurt and Courtney’s relationship was toxic: But the toxicity was mutual. This doesn’t mean they were a “problematic” couple, or that they were abusing each other, or even that either one of them was ‘evil’, it means that they fell deeply in love as young trauma survivors with substance abuse issues and huge ambitions. That’s a lot to put on any relationship and it’s a lot to talk about, so I’m gonna split this into categories of complaints that you’ll hear pretty routinely as a new Nirvana/Hole fan.

1. “She got him into drugs!”

Courtney started on heroin in the late 80’s in L.A., when she was still playing with Sugar Baby Doll(her band with Jennifer Finch and Kat Bjelland). Kurt, as said in Heavier Than Heaven, tried heroin for the first time around 1988-1989(I don’t remember exactly.) At the time, he was still living with(though I don’t believe they were still dating) Tracy Marander. Because he was destitute, he didn’t have enough money to start forming an actual habit until Nevermind started gaining speed, and by the time he and Courtney started dating(they met a couple of times and phoned a couple of times before cementing a relationship) he had been taking it for a while. That’s the thing I think people look over when it comes to Kurt- He was embarrassed about his addiction and he hated the physical side effects, but he loved heroin.

Courtney says in Montage Of Heck that she had both tried and kicked heroin by the time she met Kurt, but I think the Heavier Than Heaven description is probably more accurate: That she did heroin socially, and her addiction worsened after the two of them began living together because Kurt was(in her own words) ‘obsessed with oblivion.’ She also said in Montage Of Heck that his dream was to ‘Get to three million dollars and become a junkie.’ She’s stated several times that her drug problems came out of a need for ‘comfort’, and Kurt was into getting so fucked he couldn’t do anything else(also confirmed by his friend, Dylan Carlson, who was also into heroin and did it with him often.)

On top of that, Courtney was the one who orchestrated interventions for Kurt, went through the process of reviving him when he’d overdosed, and broke his syringes/scared off his dealers to try and keep drugs away from him as much as possible. At one point, she even made a rule that no drugs were to be done in the house- So he started renting motel rooms and doing them there. It was she who was the head of his final intervention before he went missing.

If anything, Courtney is the person who tried her hardest to keep drugs away from both of them. Considering how much people still talk about her doing heroin while pregnant(which occurred very early on before she was aware of her condition), Kurt is the person who struggled the most to stay off drugs during her pregnancy and after Frances’ birth, even going so far as to hide in the bathroom from her while she was struggling with morning sickness so she wouldn’t know he was getting high.

2. “She manipulated him into dating her/marrying her!”

Here’s the thing about Courtney; She is an enigmatic, entertaining, talented, maternal individual. Here’s the thing about Kurt; He’s a shy, quiet, non-confrontational guy with mommy issues. There’s been a lot of discussion on how Courtney was ‘obsessed’ with Kurt, and how she wouldn’t rest until she pinned him down: That’s untrue, or at least it reads less like crazy-bitch-steals-rock-god and more like cute-singer-has-crush-on-fellow-cute-singer. She was really into him, but when she met him she was still dating Billy Corgan, which deterred her from pursuing him until that relationship(basically) dissolved. When Kurt met her, he had just gotten out of a relationship with Tobi Vail, which most likely fell apart because she refused to be what Tracy Marander had been for him. She wasn’t interested in caring for him and she wasn’t interested in a full-time monogamous relationship. She was working too hard at her own career and was way too involved in the burgeoning riot grrrl movement to worry about looking after Kurt Cobain. That just wasn’t going to work for him.

Kurt was a big believer in the nuclear family model, he was very monogamous, and besides that he lacked the ability to physically take care of himself. If he wasn’t living with a partner who would clean up the house and remind him to wash his hair, it just didn’t happen. He was chronically ill, depressed, and he’d spent most of his adolescence AWOL from anyone who would actually raise him, so Tobi’s rejection deeply hurt him for a number of reasons- While Courtney, the opposite of Tobi in a few key ways, was exactly what he wanted. On top of looking like the archetypical punk girl, “I was attracted to her because she looked like Nancy Spungen,” she had a maternal streak (In Montage Of Heck, when he’s found sitting beside her while she cuts his hair, and, typical for people living with Kurt, mentions that she cleans the house because ‘nobody else fuckin does.’) Early on in their relationship, Kurt had a meltdown and begged Courtney to come to his apartment. She did, and looked after him the rest of the night, a pattern which would become common for them, and was stated by her half sister to be the ‘original strain on the relationship.’

Besides her mothering elements, Courtney was brassy and loud, and her presence allowed him to be less introverted and freer with himself. She was an ambitious young musician who shared a similar childhood to him, and had the same yearning for a safe home life that he did. She was well-read and artistic, and introduced him to the literary side of music creation, which he hadn’t explored yet. After spending a night on the phone with her, he went around telling everybody she was ‘the coolest girl in the world,’ and broke off another burgeoning relationship with Mary Lou Lord on live TV after spending the night with her. The famous quote, “Courtney Love is the best fuck in the world.” is in fact real. And yeah, he could’ve handled that one better.

The attraction was mutual, and I find it hard to believe that Kurt was ever forced into anything romantic with her based on how well she suited his tastes.

3. “She used him for his fame/money!”

As stated above, Courtney was attracted to Kurt before Nevermind was even recorded, and if she wanted to marry a famous dude right out the gate, at the time they met there were plenty of people who were way more famous than Kurt. In Heavier Than Heaven she mentions really liking their song “Dive,” and later in life she mentioned hearing “Sliver” and being impressed with Kurt’s writing abilities. Both of those songs were released a solid two years before Nevermind. She was interested in Kurt because he was cute and talented and she was savvy in the music scene, meaning that she kept up with underground bands.

Now, a point of contention between Kurt & Courtney was their different attitudes towards fame. That is entirely true. Courtney wanted to be famous, enjoyed celebrity, loved attention, and could handle touring, press, and the craziness of success. She was very charismatic, very physically strong, and let’s face it, definitely an attention whore. Kurt liked being praised, he liked being successful, and he definitely had a thing for attention- But he hated pressure, he had inferiority issues, he didn’t know how to handle his life being pried into all the time, and he wasn’t strong enough to do massive tours. Courtney just didn’t understand that, which is pretty common if someone doesn’t share your same mental illness/physical illness: Touring hurt Kurt’s stomach, it worsened his anxiety and emotional instability, it wore his body out, it didn’t agree with him. He loved playing live but couldn’t handle the mania or the travelling, meaning he didn’t mind blowing off huge tours that would bring in loads of money. Courtney, who did feel envious and intimidated regarding his success, would get angry at him for that- She didn’t want him to blow off massive paychecks and press coverage because it’s not what she would’ve done. I definitely side with Kurt on this, nothing is more frightening and frustrating than people trying to force you to do things you can’t handle health-wise. Courtney, being naturally business-oriented, was also aware of how things appeared to the public, and definitely cared about their image more than Kurt did- One of their fights revolved around her nagging him about how important the “Heart-Shaped Box” music video would be for him, and how he should look good. He reacted by stubbing out a cigarette on his forehead and saying, “Do I look fucking good enough for you now?”

So yeah, Courtney, like a lot of people in Kurt’s life, was all about furthering his career and success. A lot of people read that as her being money-hungry or manipulative, in my opinion it’s just a natural response from a person who’s spent their whole life trying to be a success and wouldn’t really get there until 1994. I think some of it was envy and I think some of it was her using him a little vicariously, neither of which are healthy but neither of which are malicious, either. She wanted to be a rockstar, she was ready to be a rockstar, she wasn’t; He thought he’d wanted to be a rockstar, he didn’t really want to, he was.

4. “She emotionally abused him!”

I hate to say this because I love Kurt so much but, as someone who’s been through a codependent relationship where they were bailing water out of a sinking boat, Kurt’s behavior throughout their marriage set off way more red flags for me than Courtney’s did. I don’t think he was actually abusive, but I do think he was a little too underdeveloped and unresolved to be married to someone. He had to grow up slower than everyone else because he missed out on having concrete mature influences, which Courtney did as well, and like I said earlier I think a lot of their problems came through a lack of adult communication skills. Both of them were really jealous people: Courtney couldn’t stand Kurt talking about Mary Lou Lord or Tobi Vail, Kurt was completely convinced that Courtney was cheating on him with Billy Corgan(even going so far as to talk to their lawyer about a divorce shortly before he died.) This was the catalyst for a lot of mind games and unnecessary drama, especially coming from Kurt.

Kurt couldn’t handle conflict. He was really passive aggressive, and would do things to purposely piss Courtney off or communicate to her that he was displeased. While she was trying to stay clean he would declare that he was going to do drugs in the apartment, when she started talking to a psychic to help her with her problems he mocked her and put her down, when she staged his final intervention his entire argument against rehab was that she was just as ‘fucked up’ as he was(she had already agreed to go into rehab, though whether he was aware of this or not I’m not sure.) He made his first suicide attempt by overdosing on Rohypnol on their wedding anniversary because she took some pills and fell asleep and he decided that meant she wasn’t interested in him anymore. I’m not arguing that that’s an irrational response to your partner getting stoned and falling asleep, especially when he’d apparently set the night up to be as romantic as possible, but the overdose put him in a coma and sent Courtney into hysterics.

Her mental health began to decline due to paranoia that he’d end up dead, and her weight dropped due to the added stress. As someone who’s been through a pretty similar situation to that and exhibited the same symptoms, I can tell you that it is never okay to use a suicide attempt to deal with a perceived injustice from your partner. By this time, Kurt was facing either getting clean or dying, and his behavior was very depressed and erratic, so there are explanations for the way he was acting and I don’t think he was trying to manipulate her with a threat. Despite my understanding of that, there is nothing more exhausting than being the caretaker of someone who is hellbent on never getting better. I can’t imagine being the caretaker of someone who won’t stop until they’re dead, and I do think at that point it would’ve been better for them to separate.

But that isn’t to say Courtney wasn’t toxic herself, I’m not trying to paint a wholly negative image of Kurt here. I’m merely trying to stand in the way of Nirvana fanboys who have no grasp on the more sickly sides of his personality, and give Court a bit of a break. Definitely, she struggled with her jealousy: As stated, she never wanted his ex girlfriends mentioned around her and would tear them apart if they were. She was ambitious and career driven, which eroded a lot of her platonic relationships/working relationships as well her marriage to Kurt. She was one of the people who was pushing him to recover in time to play Lollapalooza, and she was one of the people who pushed him into his last stunted tour before his death. She weaponized his relationship with Frances in ways that I and most people agree are gross: She told him he should be playing massive gigs to support his daughter(though their medical and legal bills were big they were hardly poverty stricken), and admitted in an interview later that she called him in rehab once to tell him he’d dropped Frances on her head(She mentioned during this that Frances was wearing a furry hood, and that he didn’t hurt her. In my opinion he was doing his best by even trying rehab again, and that he was already so worried that he was a terrible father that it was just cruel to make him feel worse.)

She has a tendency to be self-obsessed, and to put her own self interest before people she cares about, even if she regrets it later. She struggles herself with mental illness and addiction, both of which tend to give a person poor judgment regarding the people they care about.

Once again, Courtney and Kurt weren’t a healthy couple, but it wasn’t because they were evil or abusive towards one another. They cared for each other deeply, they had a very pure devotion. Underlying all this nastiness were two people who prayed together, wrote together, fantasized about a Valentine’s Day wedding, and faxed each other R-rated love letters like modern versions of James Joyce and Nora Barnacle. During one of his more successful stints in rehab, Kurt wrote Courtney love letters every night(though he did decorate them with blood, wax, and semen.)

They had some serious therapy they needed to attend, the both of them. But 90% of these demonizations of Courtney are either untrue or blown out of proportion.

[disneyprincessmodelworld]

I've followed some CC blogs for a while...I'm a big fan of both D/arren and Ch/ris. I've always been on the fence about believing in CC, but I definitely don't believe in mi/arren. I really like it. Anyway...I was wondering if you now (after this b'day weekend, especially the video of D wearing M's dress) or have ever had any doubts about mi/arren...have you ever thought it might actually be real? This weekend has left me doubting...if nothing else Im starting to think theyre at least friends.

Whelp that is what bearding is supposed to do. Convince you that its real. Its not. And in some cases. (Read that as most). Less is more.

It isn’t. She’s a beard. Ives said they are friends. They hang. Folks get all in a tizzy over it. And they will again cause I said it. I mean I can’t be the only one that routinely wants to choke the ever loving shit out of a person i routinely hang with cause they are on my last damn nerve.

But doesn’t change the fact that TheyAreFriends. Well. They were friends. Cause legit there are times even I’m kind of concerned that he wants to run her over with a car. But ya know I’ve been there. Had that comtemplation myself so I get it.

Some friendships are fucked up. Not all are my little pony sing alongs. I’ll be the first to admit it. Have a few of my own. Toxic as hell and we Still hang. And I am well aware of allowing that person to stay in my life.

I’ve been in her spot. (The beard) And by the looks of it, if agent orange doesn’t blow the world up, I’ll be in that spot again. And I will happily smile and lie and kiss and pretend couple the hell out of it again beause its what is asked.

They aren’t the first fake couple and they sure as hell won’t be the last.

I’ve also said not all fake relationships are bearding or merkining. There are tons of hetero fake couples too.

I can guarantee that some of those couples you think are cute are most likely fake.

If you think my situation is rare, think again. There are more folks with unusual home lives than folks think here.

Honestly though I literally just looked A in the face and told him to fuck it all and come out. At this rate agent orange is going to have us blown up anyway. So might as well go out happy, gay, and free as a bird.

I mean why folks conviently forget Ricky, Wentworth, hell tom and his gfs. I mean is it that they come out and it like we laser beam that makes folks forget all the bearding and fake dates?

Huh. There’s the new plot twist for the next men in black, just say I’m gay and whoooooooosssshhhhhhhh. everyone totally forgets that others played this same game, had the same pictures, video , etc.

(I’m not fixing typos. I took allergy meds and I just wanna rebel and not do it.)