#it wasnt even that bad all together it was just a couple chapter but

[acidsaladd]

speaking of haikyuu i cant fucking wait to go watch the movie guys im so excited i think it will change my life possibly

[starlightazriel]

bad boy az 6

warnings: 18+, 16/18 age gap, angst, some smut not with reader (please dont kill me), self loathing, self sabotage, childhood trauma affecting relationships, loneliness, heartbreak, underage drinking, underage drug/alcohol abuse, toxic masculinity, lots of time jumps, kind of a filler chapter

a/n: i know it hurts :') hold my hand

azriel masterlist

wc: 3.9k

Her words swirled in Azriels mind. They were like torture.

He knew he had fucked up, he knew she didnt deserve the way that he was treating her. What had she even done wrong? Just try to love him? He was trying to get the point across that he was unloveable the only way he really knew how. Self destruct. It was easier than letting her in. It was easier than taking that giant risk of abandonment. The risk of letting her get too close, once she did he knew she would realize how much of a worthless shit bag he was.

She was smart, beautiful, she had a future ahead of her. It wasnt his place to distract her. No matter if she was right or not. Anger and hate were the easiest emotions, they came naturally, they didnt make him nervous... They didnt turn his stomach or scare him, they were all he knew. Being a lonely hateful burn out was the easiest solution.

His heart ached. He didnt want her to think he was a monster. He wanted to chase after her, to call her, to apologize and tell her she was right. To tell her that he did feel something every time they were together even if he couldn't make sense of what it was. He knew the closer she got the sooner she realized that dick truly was the only thing he had to offer. So tonight Azriel would do what he did best and push all his feelings down with a night of partying, it was Friday night after all. He opened his thread with Rhys and typed out a quick message to him. what are we doing tonight

It only took a few minutes for Rhys to respond. frat party come over whenever to pre

ahhhhht college pussy just what i need

therapy is what you really need az

pussy is therapy

you're a mess

He didnt have to see him to know Rhys was chuckling and shaking his head at him. Azriel tossed his phone to the side before he started to get ready. He didnt really intend on fucking anyone though, he knew it wouldn't fill the void that was eating at him.

-

Azriel was already drunk when the three of them arrived at the party. That was normal, they never seemed to know where to stop when pregaming before anything. The three of them just had too much damn fun together. Tonight wasnt only about pleasure though, he knew he needed to stop fucking around so much and get the rest of the pills off he had on him tonight. He was already going to owe Rhys for how much he had been dipping into his stash the past couple weeks.

Azriel stood alone by the kitchen, breaking off from Rhys and Cass, he knew he was more approachable when they weren't by his side. He figured the three of them together probably looked kind of scary. He held a drink in his hand, surveying the crowd carefully.

He found himself wondering what y/n was doing, wondering how she was spending the rest of her friday night after he had yet again, hurt her. He knew that if she kept coming around him, kept believing in him, kept loving him as she said she did. She would just keep getting hurt. Azriel didn't know how to change for her, he didn't know how to be right for her... All he knew was that all he had done thus far was introduce her to partying, sex, drinking, and smoking weed... And hurt her. None of those things were positive. She was a smart, shining, beautiful little nerd that he had tainted with his presence. He knew that she was one hundred percent better off without him, and he guessed that was why he subconsciously continued to destroy whatever was going on with them. He really didnt know why he did the things he did, he was just fucked up, he supposed.

He wondered if Maggie had took her out to one of the high school parties to get her mind off of things. His stomach turned at the thought, he imagined James approaching her again without him there. His grip tightened on the cup, it crinkled slightly. He couldn't help himself when he opened his phone, his finger hovering over their conversation. it was the liquor maybe or just the fact that he couldn't bare to think about the things that might happen to her without him by her side to protect her. He guessed maybe, that was one thing he was good for. Keeping her safe. if you're out don't do anything stupid, stay with your friends

"I didn't expect to see anyone from school here," he focuses at the female voice, looking up from his phone, he had been spacing out.

"I belong here," he smirks, sliding his phone into his pocket. He looks down his nose at Stacy Willet. She was in Azriels class, they'd be graduating together. "You're the one who's out of place, how'd you even get an invite?" he adds, looking at her from head to toe, little heels, tight dress, several silver necklaces, bangles, and earrings adorned her silky skin. She was hot, basic compared to y/n but she still looked good.

She had hated Azriel for getting gum stuck in her hair when they were kids on the bus, but something had changed eventually, once she had gone through puberty and decided he was hot. He knew she wanted to fuck him, he had never really given her the time of day though, he liked it better when girls weren't so easy, made him work for it at least a little. Plus, she had snitched on him after all, even if it was just third grade.

"You're so cocky, but I bet you can't even back it up," her lips turned up into a little sneer of a smirk as she met Azriels eyes.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he drops his voice slightly, turning his chin up slightly at her. This was a nice distraction, though he couldn't help but compare every single thing about her to y/n.

She blushes, he can see it but she doesn't change her expression, she just keeps smirking up at him. "Where's your sophomore?" she quirks a brow, Azriel could feel his expression harden, his face twists slightly in annoyance.

"She's not my sophomore," he snaps, looking away from her now as if she was becoming boring. More annoying than boring really.

"Simmer down bad boy, I'm just saying, she's been following you around since the beginning of school like a lost puppy. I mean why settle for that when you could have this?" she asks, her tone is smooth, like honey, and she gestures down to her body. He scoffed quietly, little did she know that she was nothing next to y/n. She was very curvy though, he had to give her that at least, giant tits, fat ass, slim waist.

"You trying to test my gangster?" his lips twitch slightly and he leans in closer, her breath hitches. Girls were too damn easy for him, they always had been, all he had to do was look down at them with that burning hazel gaze under those thick dark lashes he had. She swallowed, regaining her composure. "Watch your mouth," he warns, his jaw flexing slightly.

"Or what?" she challenges, batting her eyelashes at him. "I'm just saying, you can do way better Azzie, some girls even know what they are doing," she smirks, he grits his teeth a little, he wanted to choke her out and tell her not to ever speak about y/n again. Or call him Azzie. No one was allowed to call him that. Maybe y/n, but not Stacy Willet.

"You can show me," the words are coming out before he even thinks them through and before he knows it, she's giggling and pulling him into the bathroom by the collar of his shirt.

She presses him against the door, pressing her lips to his and his hands quickly find her ass, squeezing tightly. "So fat," he grunted quietly into her mouth, earning a small moan from her, he couldn't help but get annoyed at the whiny high pitched noise. "Shut up," he says and presses his large hand against the top of her head, pushing her down to her knees. "Show me what I've been missing then Stace, maybe I'll put it in your hair," he smirked down at her, she gives him a dirty look, recalling the third grade gum incident, he frees himself from his boxers and her eyes widened at the size.

"Okay, so you can back it up," she whispers, swallowing hard before she wraps her lips around Azriels cock. He bites his lip, tan skin flushed as he grips the back of her head and begins fucking her face. Her nails dig into his thighs but he doesn't moan. He was here to get his nut off and that was it, get out some of his frustration, distract himself. He watches as she gags and chokes on his size, tears running down her face, it was annoying but he couldn't stop wondering how y/n would have sucked his cock if he'd given her the chance. She wanted to one day, but hadn't let her, it would have felt too intimate to guide her through that, their eyes locking while he told her everything she needed to do to make him cum. They had fucked often, he had eaten her pussy for an hour before, but it was only ever that... There was no love making, no intimate touches or long eye contact. He didn't do that.

But even fucking this hot girls face couldn't seem to get his mind off of y/n.

"You're not convincing me yet," he smirks down at Stacy, putting his attention back on her, he saw anger flash in her eyes and she pulled off of him, pulling her dress up and she bent herself over the counter. "That's a little better," he chuckles quietly before he smacks her ass. She moans again. "I said be quiet," he repeats before he starts fucking her hard, her hips slam into the counter top. He had to admit, it looked like a porno, her fat ass bouncing perfectly on his cock. It still wasn't enough though, it wasn't her.

"Where have you been?" she moaned again and he pulled out of her, he just couldn't take it anymore, he could barely even stay hard or focus on anything and y/n was haunting his thoughts and Stacy's voice was just so fucking unbelievably annoying.

"I told you to shut up, you ruined it." he pulls his pants back up, she scoffs, her face mortified as she watches him.

"What? So that's it?!" she scrambles to stand, pulling her dress back down to cover herself. "You're not even gonna finish?" her lips part and she looks at him with disappointment.

"You told me you could show me and you didn't show me shit you couldn't even keep your mouth shut," he shrugs before adding, "but you better keep your mouth shut about this," he gestures between the two of them before leaving her dumbfounded in the bathroom alone.

Now to get these damn pills all off before he could get really fucked up.

-

Monday morning came and Azriel was back at school. They had allowed him time off for the passing of his father but he had already been out for a week and it was time to go back before he got too behind. It wasnt like he was grieving anyway, if anything it was a relief that his dad was gone.

His heart nearly leapt from his chest when he saw y/n standing by her locker, bright and early before first period.

"Hey butterfingers," he leans up against the locker beside hers, she nearly jumps, her eyes flickering to his for a brief moment before staring back to her locker. He didn't like that, he didn't like how she looked away so fast, the distant look in her eyes. He swallowed hard, clearing his throat as he gathered courage. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the other day. I shouldn't have put my hands on you like that, I know it's not an excuse but I've got a lot-"

"It's fine Azriel," she says quietly, her face softening a little as she turns to meet his eyes. She studied him then, and he hated when she did that. He felt so naked and vulnerable when she looked at him like that. He averted his gaze, he couldn't handle the eye contact. Not with knowing what he'd done just a couple nights ago.

"You got anything planned today? I was thinking we could kick it. Just work on homework or something, as friends," he adds the last part only because he noticed a flicker of hope in her eyes. It may have been a little selfish but he just needed to be around her, at least for a little while, he missed her presence so much, he was so damn lonely without her in his life. He knew it had to be only because it was so fresh. By this time next year he wouldn't even remember her, he told himself.

It was her turn to look away, at the word friends, and he didn't miss the way she tugged her books tighter to her chest. He didn't miss the sad look in her eye when she looked back at him and spoke. "Yeah, that would be nice Az," she says softly, and he wonders if it even would be nice for her, if she even meant it, or if she just felt bad for him.

-

"Y/n, I have to tell you something," Maggies voice is what interrupts me as I look up from my book, I was sitting in the library, catching up on some reading during lunch period.

"Not now," I sigh quietly, holding the book in my hands, my eyes still fixed on her.

"No. I need to tell you this," she sits down across from me, I glance over at the school librarian who is shooting daggers at us.

"Fine but be quiet, it's a library," I remind her, whispering.

"Okay," she says, her voice now also a whisper. "Please don't shoot the messenger but Olivia told me that Kayley told her that Stacy Willet fucked Azriel at a college party on friday," my mouth goes dry at her words, my fingers tightening on the book.

"On friday?" I repeat slowly, my heart felt like it was cracking in half in my chest, all over again. I recalled the way Azriel had treated me on friday, recalled the fact that we had sex on friday. And then he had sex with her? I felt numb. Embarrassed and dumb for saying the things I said to him before I had left. Obviously he didn't feel a single thing for me.

"I'm sorry I had to be the one to tell you," she whispers back, reaching out to grab my hand.

"No," I say, shaking it off and pulling my hand out of hers. "It's fine, we aren't even together," I shrug it off, burying my face back into my book, I could feel her staring at me. I could cry later, alone in my room. Not here, not at school.

"Okay, well I'll see you later, text me okay?" she stands back up, still looking at me hesitantly, as if she didn't believe I was really okay. I hadn't exactly told her I loved him, but she knew almost everything else, she knew my feelings were strong. I only nodded in response, giving her a forced reassuring smile.

It was true though, we weren't dating. Technically he could do whatever he wanted to. It just hurt. It cut deep. It made me wonder if I truly had been imagining everything between us. I should have known better than to fall for someone like him.

-

"Would you like to explain to me, why in the fuck everyone knows we had sex when I specifically told you not to tell anyone?" Azriel growls at Stacy at the end of the school day, standing by her locker.

"Well, we did," she turns, smirking at Azriel. Clearly she had gotten over her upset from the other night, because she looked at him with that same playful look she had before he had fucked her, well started fucking her. He scoffs quietly and just shakes his head.

"Barely. And this is why I don't bother with whores like you, you just had to run your fat mouth didnt you?" her gaze flickers at the name calling but she shrugs.

"Next I'll tell them you couldn't even stay hard," she bites back, but Azriel only rolls his eyes.

"You think I give a fuck? I couldn't stay hard 'cus you're too fucking annoying," anger and maybe hurt flashes in her eyes at his words but he doesn't give her time to come up with anything else he just turns and walks away. He exits the school before pulling his car to its usual spot that he waited for her.

Azriel waited for y/n, leaning against his car and puffing on a cigarette like usual. He smirked a little when he saw her, but it quickly faded when he noticed that she was walking the other direction toward her house.

-

I was trying to walk fast, I wanted to get home as quickly as I possibly could. My bed was calling for me. I was tired of crying about Azriel. So I had promised myself earlier that today I would have one last final big cry before I forgot about him for good. Im not even half way home when I hear a car pull up next to me and I glance to the side to see Azriel.

His hair is disheveled, a cigarette hanging from his mouth and he raises a brow when my eyes meet his. So infuriatingly beautiful. I huff softly, my warm breath creating fog in the cold air. "What are you doing? We had plans didnt we butterfingers?" he asks, I hadn't stopped walking, so he was matching my pace now, his car slowly rolling forward beside me.

"You can stop pretending, Azriel," I mutter quietly, a bite in my tone, I tried to walk a little faster. It was crazy how quickly things could change, weeks ago I was spending every waking second that I could with him, now I wanted nothing more than to get as far as I possibly could away from him.

"I don't know what that means butterfingers," He says back and I shoot him a glare, not stopping for even a second. "Can you just stop for a minute and explain to me why you're acting like that?" I scoff, finally stopping and he hits the breaks, stopping his car as well. Hes turned toward me, studying me and I stare back at him.

"It means," I begin, my tone angry, almost hateful even, "that you can stop pretending that you want to be my friend, you can stop pretending that I am anything other than an annoying younger girl with a crush, you can stop pretending that you haven't only been fucking me for anything else other than homework help." Surprise flashes in his eyes, like it usually did when I spoke to him like this. "If you want help with homework you can pay me to tutor you," I add, my tone laced with venom, I swear I see a sparkle of amusement in his eyes before he speaks.

"If that's what it takes to spend time with you," his tone is softer now, his eyes too as he looks upon me. I almost fall for it, almost, before anger rips through me.

"You are so fucking unbelievable," I raise my voice at him now, staring into the car at him, my cheeks burned, my heart racing as he stared back at me. I could see right through him now, I couldn't understand how dumb I had been before. How blind. His jaw flexed.

"Where is this even coming from?" he asks, one hand still tightly gripping the steering wheel, his tanned knuckles turning white.

"Maybe it's coming from the fact that you fucked Stacy Willet right after fucking me?" I can't help it, it slips out. The anger the jealousy, the hurt, I knew he could read it all over my face as I watched him wince. "Friends don't do that to friends, Azriel," my voice drops a little as I feel the lump forming in my throat.

-

Azriels gut wrenches at her words, his jaw flexing tightly for what must have been the thousandth time in this conversation. What could he even say to that? He had fucked her, well at least started to. "Its like I made every single fucking moment we shared in my head," she continues, clearly not able to stop herself now that she started, his fingers grip tighter on the steering wheel, and he swallows again, trying to swallow the words that threatened to spill from his lips. "You say these fucking things, these things that make me feel like I actually might mean something to you. But they don't fucking mean anything to you. You just fucking spew shit from your mouth as if to just give me what I want so I leave you alone. Im going fucking crazy!" Her hands fall at her sides in exasperation, tears threatening to spill.

"And you think Im not?!" he can't hold it in anymore as the words begin to spill. "You think Im fucking not going crazy?" her lips part in surprise at the volume of his voice. "It's like ever since I fucking met you I can't fucking stay away from you. I can't get you out of my fucking head no matter what I do," his tone is harsh and biting, his body tense with anger and frustration. "You don't fucking get that Im not fucking good for you y/n. Ive done absolutely nothing except corrupt you since the moment I met you. You deserve so much better than I could ever give you. You are good, you are funny, intelligent, bright... Beautiful." he couldnt stop himself, he knew he was saying too much, making himself too vulnerable. "You don't realize that Im doing you a fucking favor. Someone like me doesn't get to be with someone like you. I fucked that dumb whore because that's what I do, I fuck things up, I hurt people. I didnt do it because I fucking wanted her I did it because Im fucking afraid y/n." she's staring at him, frozen in shock. "I can't fuck you without hurting you but I can't fucking stay away from you either, every fucking thought that crosses my fucking mind is about you. And you think Im not going crazy? You have turned my life absolutely fucking upside down and I don't do this shit, I don't understand this shit, I don't know how to navigate any of this shit. So I am so fucking sorry for wanting to be your friend," his voice starts to fizzle out slightly at his last few words, and his stomach churns with nerves, anxiety biting at him.

She says nothing, she only stares at him, and he had never felt so naked before in his life. He wanted to stay there, to wait and see what she was going to say, but he was afraid of that too.

"Yeah, that's what I fucking thought," is the last thing he utters before peeling off down the street.

-

a/n: thoughts & feelings? just bear with me 7 will have you screaming. this is a filler

[hanta-seros-wifey]

lacrosse and cheer- hanta sero x f!reader

summary: in a quirkless AU, hanta sero and our dear reader find themselves in a fake relationship to ward off exes (toru hagakure & juzo honenuki). maybe they’ll fall in love?

authors note: okay this has been BREWING for the past couple of weeks and i’ve finalized the plot and everything. weekly updates, our lovely class 1A will be aged up to 3rd years, class 1B appreciation alright, reader is part of the dekusquad.

chapter 1: the contract

“alright yea just place it there mom” you said as your mom placed your books on the bookshelf. “senior year how do you feel?” your mom gushes as she looks around your dorm room. “as long as i can avoid juzo i’ll be fine” you sighed knowing it was physically impossible.

“cmon juzo wasnt that bad” your mom says sitting down on your bed. “he wasnt its just the way i ended it i could’ve been better” you sighed running a hand through your hair. “who’s on this hall do you know?” your mom shifts the conversation.

“i believe momo and tsuyu are” you mumbled taking a peek out of your room. “on the boys i believe its mezo, hanta, and shoto” you said looking down the hall and shrug closing your dorm. “most importantly did you pack your poms?” she asks walking over to your cheer box.

“i did i remembered this time” you brush it off. “so hanta” your mom says teasingly remembering the name from your first year here. “maybe you and hanta can finally you know” your mom trails off and you give her a confused look. “okay look all im saying is i packed rubbers for you be safe” she says getting up and grabbing her purse.

“rubbers? oh my mom!” you said coming to the realization of what she meant. “hanta has a girlfriend and i haven’t even had sex yet!” you mumbled and your mom shushes you. shouting was heard in the distance followed by something being thrown.

you step out and head towards the boys hall. there you see toru throwing things at hanta as he shouts at her to get away from him. “you cheated on me with mashirao really?!” hanta yells holding the mitt and ball toru threw at him. “get out i dont want to hear your bullshit explanations go!” he yells throwing the ball and mitt at her feet.

she picks them up and storms off. you creep around the corner and you look at hanta. “you okay?” you ask quietly afraid of fueling his anger. “im okay” he smiles at you. “we’ve been over for almost the whole summer this was her just confirming it was ojiro” he says somewhat sadly.

“you and uh juzo still a thing?” he asks as he leans against his door frame looking you up and down. you shook your head no. “i broke things off the day we had to move out of the 2nd year dorms” you mumbled. he nods his head almost as if he’s remembering that day.

“does it suck though? considering you also got close to class b?” he asks and you nod a bit. “mainly with itsuka , yosetsu, and tetsutetsu” you smiled sadly at him. “well my dorm is open if you want to sulk about our heartbreaks together” he smiled knocking on his door frame and walking into his room.

“well im off honey” your mom says as she begins her walk down the stairs. “let me walk you out” you trail behind her and throughout your walk she greets your classmates she’s grown to love. you walk her outside and to her car. “bye mom” you hug her and she hugs you back tightly.

“hey!” you hear a familiar voice and turn around to see tetsutetsu coming towards you guys. “tetsu!” you exclaimed running into his arms. he catches you and hugs you tightly. “how’ve you been?” he asks with knowing eyes.

“im okay” you smile looking up at him. “how uh- how is juzo?” you ask and he smiles at you. “he’s okay i know he’s been pestering you though” you nod at that. “remember the rubbers!” your mom says as she waves at you. “bye mom” you said waving at her and she leaves.

“rubbers?” tetsutetsu says tilting his head to the side. “dont even ask” you grumble walking back into the direction of class a’s third year dorms, juzo watching the whole interaction.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

“smile!” izuku said holding the phone up. you and the girls smile for the picture. “are you girls done” katsuki grumbles wanting to head to class already. “not yet!” mina yells as she pulls you and ochaco to the side and asks eijiro to snap a picture. “these dumb first day of school pictures” he grumbles again and denki slaps an arm around his shoulders.

“rikido, koji, mezo come here!” kyoka said and they walked over to you, mina, kyoka and ochaco. “smile!” eijiro said as you all wrapped your arms around each other and smile. katsuki grumbles as he’s pulled into a picture with you and mina and he secretly likes it displaying a smile.

“cheer up kacchan” denki teases and katsuki gives him a side eye. after a million photos you were all ready to head off to class. “hanta!” you could hear from behind as toru gripped onto sero’s arm. he pulls it away from her and continues on walking.

“i’ll see you guys in class alright?” you told tenya, ochaco, izuku, shoto, and momo. izuku threw his arm around ochaco’s and tenya held momo’s hand. “alright” shoto was the one to answer as you purposely fell into step with hanta.

“need help?” you whisper to him as you looked up to meet his eyes. dang was he tall! he let out a soft yea as you hesitantly wrapped your hand around his bicep holding his arm. shit he’s fucking strong, you thought. well no duh he is captain of the lacrosse team after all.

toru let out a soft whine as she walked up to ojiro and held his hand. “she doesnt even know what she wants” you told hanta and he agreed with you. you go to remove your hand when he puts it back into place firmly. “hanta-“ you start saying but you look up and see juzo and it all clicks.

“good morning y/n!” yosetsu waves at you as he walks out with monoma, itsuka, and tetsutetsu. “wait” tetsutetsu says analyzing your hand wrapped around sero’s bicep. “you and sero?!?” he exclaims capturing all of class a and b’s attention. way to go, you thought.

“we’re figuring it out and uh yea” hanta stuttered looking down at you for help. “yea this is all new very recent we’re figuring it out as we go. its so nice to see you guys bye!” you said quickly and walked with hanta. “now what!” you hissed at him and he chuckles nervously.

“fake girlfriend?” he smiles sheepishly at you. “fake boyfriend” you said patting his arm and walking into year 3 doors at UA. you head off to 3A and walk in to find mr. aizawa. “what are the odds” denki says in a joking manner.

you took seat 18 as sero took seat 13. the class chooses their unassigned, assigned seats. “welcome back students hopefully summer was fine” mr. aizawa begins. “first thing on the agenda, the choosing of a class representative and a vice representative” he says in his monotone voice you all got used to.

“we’ve seen results differ throughout our years given that your first year it was tenya iida and momo yaoyorozu, your second year being izuku midoryia and tsuyu asui” he says looking up at all of you. “maybe this year will be different” he says as he takes a seat.

“battle it out” he says leaning his head down and falling asleep. toru stares you down the minute she turns around and you immediately give her one back. “if were gonna battle shit out first its you and me” she says getting up and denki immediately pulls his phone out to record.

“you stole my boyfriend” she says and the room fills with ooh’s. “toru this is highly unnecessary” tenya says standing up but eijiro stops him. “man we wanna see this theyre fighting over sero this is a first” he said with the biggest smile on his face. “bro” hanta says offended.

“first off its not stealing if you are broken up” you said beginning to stand. “second of all you cheated on him with mashirao so whats all this fuss about princess?” you said getting closer to her now and having to slightly look up considering she was only a few inches taller than you.

katsuki sits there with a smile, amused. “i didnt cheat” she says lightly pushing you which makes you stumble a bit back. “honey i was there when you said it to hanta’s face” you said pushing her back with a bit more force. “oh so youre snooping now” she says pushing you back this time you fall on the floor and toru wastes no time on getting some hits on you.

“fight! cmon y/n!” katsuki yelled as he got front row of this fight. mezo, kyoka, hanta, fumikage, shoto, minoru, and momo did as well and some were cheering you on while others were telling you to quit it (fumikage).

you were able to kick her making her fall back and you were able to get some hits in as well. “okay enough footage let me pull them apart before y/n does some serious damage to toru” izuku says as he gets up to pull you away, mashiaro pulling toru away.

“hope this takes away your captaincy bitch” toru spat your way and you shrug. “i dont care” you said back and shoto pops in. “no no you do care remember your scholarship” shoto reminds you and you nod.

the bell chimes and aizawa wakes up. “highly unproductive” he sighs and walks out. the room is silent for a minute until katsuki speaks up. “dunce face who won” the whole class erupts into a fuss others saying that wasnt important and others wanting to know who did win.

“upon reviewing footage winner is y/n” denki says putting his phone away and katsuki lets out a yes. “if youre so obsessed with her you can take her” hanta says standing up and grabbing you by the waist. “idiot” katsuki says before turning around to face the window.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

you sat on the track stretching your legs to prepare for routines. “whats up with you and hanta its all so sudden” mina says stretching as well. “honey its been brewing since our first year here” you said matter of factly. “toru was the one who didnt let me make a move” you said and it was true.

toru has always been two faced with you. “be careful i know you can handle yourself but girls captain of the softball team i’d be scared of her hits” mina says scrunching her face into a sour look.

“i’ll be okay mina” you smiled at her as you finished stretching. “okay girls!” you said and they immediately stood in a line. “were gonna start off with some basic routines” you said with your hands on your hips.

“hi babe!” you all heard and the girls looked behind you to see a shirtless eijiro. mina squealed and blushed as he made his way over. “how’s football practice hm” mina says after he gives her a kiss. “juzo needs to get his into the game” he says pointing over at him and he’s being ridiculed by katsuki.

“coach toshinori aint making it easy either” he says with a sigh as he plants a kiss on mina’s lips one more time and waves bye at you. “warm up lap around the track lets go” you said and started the run falling into a fast pace with mina.

“keep up ladies!” you yelled from the front and you saw hanta enter the track/football field sweaty. he looked like he just got out of lacrosse practice. you hear some girls giggle as you all passed him and he waved at you.

“sorry ladies practice is over i got some stuff to deal with take this as a rest day and continue learning our cheers” you smiled at them as they immediately grabbed their gym bags and left the field.

hanta walked over as he picked up your gym bag for you. “my dorm?” he asks and you nod as you trail behind him, juzo watching the whole time.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

you followed hanta into his dorm. he threw his gym bag and peeled off the black muscle shirt he was sporting. “woah there” you said immediately turning the other way cheeks flushed. “sorry” he smiled throwing it into his hamper and taking a seat on his chair.

“so our contract” you start pulling out a paper and pen. hanta pulls his hair into a half up half down and you cant help but stare. “a contract for what we cant just go with the flow?” he asks as you start to write down rules.

“i dont want most of my firsts to be fake” you mumbled and he looked at you dumbfounded. “you’ve had a kiss right? i mean honenuki? oh wait” he says putting it together and you nod. “kinda difficult” you giggled placing a hair strand behind your ear.

“why’d uh that end?” he coughs and looks at you. “i wasnt feeling it anymore. dont get me wrong he is attractive and treated me right but the more i was with him the more i saw him as just a friend. plus i’ve been crushing on someone since our first year just never had the chance to make a move” you explain shrugging.

“so you havent kissed anyone?” he asks and you shake your head no. he looks surprised. “why cant we kiss?” he says as you write no kissing on the paper. “once again i dont want my firsts to be fake” you smiled at him as he got closer. you stare at his bare chest.

“oh what was the rubbers conversation about the other day?” he asks as he moves to get a protein bar. your face goes red as he takes a bite. “huh?” you ask and he smiles again. “your mom packed you rubbers?” he asks again amused by the look on your face.

“i wouldnt need them anyway” you say and he scoffs. “keep em you never know” he says as he winks. you sign the contract and hand it to him to sign. “uh ah” he says rejecting your pen and looking it over.

solid rules.

1. no kissing

2. no snitching

3. physical touch in public at all times

4. no falling in love

he kisses his teeth and asks for the pen thinking of one or two rules.

5. attend all his games and the nights you cheer for the sports teams

6. he writes you notes everyday

“toru always nagged me to write them for her if she sees she’ll go insane” he smirks at you as he signs it and hands it back to you. “deal?” you hold your hand out waiting for him to shake it.

“deal princess rubbers” he smirks at you and you scowl and get up. “put a shirt on” you say and walk out of his dorm.

[irldiancie]

All Kagehina “proof” I know of

Ok i wasnt gonna post this but ive been told by a friend to explain why some might ship Kagehina so... try me. i dont exactly ship this myself but lets just say im a pro when it comes to this topic also it's not as bad as i thought it was there are worse ships idk why i was a hater also i lowkey got some of this from shipping wiki but most of it i knew already, plus NOT ALL OF THIS IS NECESSARILY REFERENCES TO THE SHIP it kinda just adds on to it anyways lets just get into it

ok so starting with common knowledge i think everyone knows that Hinata is the protagonist followed with Kageyama being the deuteragonist, they get the most screen time together and are pretty much paired MOST of the series, we get a lot of content with them together while also getting content of them on their own, they're known as the "freak duo," the "greatest teammates" and like 100 other names they've been called I've seen a lot of people intemperate their relationship wrong, I've seen a few say Kageyama was downright "abusive" to Hinata which I think is a little farfetched, but to each their own! They genuinely do care for each other and it shows, even at the end of the manga you can tell how far their relationship has come, even if they consider themselves rivals, they are without a doubt still friends Now a lot of people have said "well they're not gay they're just friends", while this is true, it has been referenced/implied officially in many places, including manga panels and english dubs, so while it isn't canon there is a few cute things about it which we know are official which is why I'm sharing this, I myself know it isn't canon, plus I didn't really make this to prove anything it was kinda for fun sorry if that made little to no sense but I'll start getting into more interesting stuff 1. at the tip of the iceberg we have the fact they're in so much official art together

theres like a 1000 more of these btw theyre often put near eachother even in official arts not based off them

I have like 1k more of these but i have more proof than this but i think you get my point some of this is probably promo art but that's also considered official art so 2. moving on i think another known one is that Ukai calls them lovebirds ONE TIME in English dub and I have no idea who approved that but I think it's funny and obviously this probably meant nothing but take it as you want video of it here 3. this is kinda randomly thrown in but the fact that they also trust eachother, they've mentioned it a couple times but I think it's nice to know 4. i dont remember when this was or what chapter or something but kageyamas grandfather said "somebody even better will come for you", which just happened to be Hinata of course 5. ALSO after that whole fight scene back in season two, Hinata says this

he didnt really consider kageyama as a friend, but he considered him a partner which i believe is more important to hinata. teammates/partners were always something Hinata wanted, as before he went to Karasuno, he didn't feel like his friends in Junior high were necessarily teammates. Meaning he valued Kageyama more because he was his partner.

(credits to triananero for these images) and when him and Kageyama started working together, they most definitely were perfect together, as they balanced each-other out, which made them become an unstoppable duo or whatever they called them 6. the fact that they have matching jersey numbers 9 and 10 moving on to less canon stuff, there is a light novel of Haikyuu called Haikyū!! Shōsetsuban!! which probably isnt close to canon but Furudate was a part of it even though it wasn't written by him, so it's at least somewhat official 7. anyway according to shipping wiki there is a chapter where Kageyama feels "fluttery feelings at the bottom of his stomach" when Hinata texts him, it's on volume 8 chapter 1, I REALLY WANTED TO SHOW YOU GUYS BUT I COULDNT FIND IT ANYWHERE ONLINE. i searched countless tumblr posts and websites but i could only find chapter five and chapter three so im fully convinced this is lost media LMAOOOO 8. also in Haikyū!! Shōsetsuban!! apparently there's a part where Hinata daydreams about him and Kageyama eating under cherry blossom trees i just found that cute AS MUCH AS I WANNA SHOW YOU GUYS I LITERALLY CANNOT FIND ANYTHING OF THIS LIGHT NOVEL ANYWHERE i just know it's real, if I ever get my hands on it which I doubt, I'll share proof it exists btw AND THIS IS REALLY RANDOM AND SOMEONE WANTED ME TO INCLUDE THIS BUT 9. Basically there was a ad for deodorant a couple years back, collabing with Haikyuu, where you could buy deodorants to “smell like them” or whatever, some shippers believe it’s a Kagehina reference as they also advertised Kageyama and Hinatas scents together as some like matching couple thing

and then there's this

And I think I've said enough, there's way more you can find out about this ship, but I hope with this post you've learned something new or whatever... I MIGHT MAKE THIS A SERIES should i do kenhina next or kuroken ANYWAYS DISCLAIMER I didnt look too much into most of these things but I can gaurentee this stuff is true also this was just for fun and not serious but i hope you liked my little post!

[witchersmistress]

Simmering Rage

Hello my darlings!! you are in luck today!! ive got a couple of chapters for you, typing this out on a cellphone wasnt the best but i made do with what i had.

Trigger Warnings: Anger, Rage, Blood and violence, and self hatred

Word count:4.3 K

August pov

 My phone chimes with a notification on the seat beside me. I check the screen. Lo again. I haven’t seen her since my car . After I found out what Harper did, I was in a bad place for a while. I don’t remember much of the rest of the mission. The monster operated in my place, holding space for me until I was ready to come back. When the mission l ended, and I had time to think things through, I stopped thinking about what Harper had done and finally looked at the facts behind it. Of course, my mind went straight to the one person who could have told her about Hockington—Gloria Walton.

They’d gotten close, thanks to me, and I fucking paid for it. For letting a Darling into my life, letting her get in with my friends. That’s what I get for letting anyone close to me. Still, it’s a dick move on my part not to at least give Lo a chance to defend herself. If she wasn’t the one who told Harper, I cut her off for nothing. Harper could have bribed someone who worked there, seen me leaving with someone and tracked her down, rooted through my stuff or Dad’s when she was at our house and somehow put it together. It’s better this way, though. Better not to have anyone around me who knows shit about my life. When Lo found out about room 504, it felt safer to keep her close, to give her a reason not to tell anyone. Even if we never talked about it, never talked about our families the way I did with Harper or any real shit, our friendship was real. 

But letting people into my life is a mistake. People blackmail and betray. And if it was her, if she told Harper… Well, Preston can fucking have Gloria. When my phone rings a minute later, I sigh and pick it up. We can talk once. Just to clear some things up. I’m not going to give her a ride anywhere, like I used to when she didn’t have gas money. My car smells like a swamp from all the times I’ve dropped my muddy boots and rubber coveralls in here this summer. Gloria would ask questions, and I’m not about to answer. “Hey,” she says. “I figured you’d ghost me again.” “What’s up, Lo?” I ask, my voice sounding weary. “Do you use the OnlyPics app?” “No,” I say flatly, bristling at the insinuation. “Why would I?” “That’s not—I didn’t mean you’d put stuff up.” “Why?” I ask. “You don’t think people would pay to see my dick?” “No!” she says quickly. “I mean, they would, if you wanted to put it up. That’s not why I was asking, though.” “So, you don’t want to see my dick? That’s not how I remember it.” I’m being an asshole, but she’s basically calling me a whore. She knows better than to ask if I use an app that’s basically a sex worker platform. I don’t get paid for sex, and I don’t need to sell pictures of my body for money. The OnlyPics app was supposed to be a companion to OnlyWords, which is a texting app with, as its name implies, only words in the messages. Everyone likes OnlyWords, but it has no photo sharing capabilities. So the same company made OnlyPics but it was basically a knock-off Instagram where you can’t use captions and the hashtags are hidden, only used by the algorithms to know who to show them to. It probably would have died a quick death if it weren’t for the sex worker industry, who cashed in on three key features—the ability to add a link to profiles, where they added their payment link; the fifteen-second video limit, which let them put up teases to get people hooked; and the private chat feature, which let them send someone the rest of the video for whatever fee they wanted to negotiate or even video chat for a live show.

 I don’t use the app because I’m not an amateur porn star, and if I want to watch porn, I can do it for free like everyone else. If I need a live feed, I have a phone full of numbers of chicks who would be happy to put on a show for me, and I can do more than watch and jerk off. I’m not interested in that any more than I am this app. “Okay, let’s try this again,” Gloria says. “You remember how Harper  disappeared off the face of the earth when you dumped her?” I stiffen in my seat, yanking the wheel to pull off at the nearest exit at the last second. The car behind me lays on the horn, but I ignore it. The noise is almost drowned by the pounding of blood in my ears. “Yeah, what about it?” I ask Gloria. “Well, I think I found her.” “On a porn site?” I ask, hoping like hell someone just uploaded the video of her sucking someone’s dick from last year. It fucks with my head to think that one year ago today, I didn’t even know the name Harper Avery. It was another month before I would see her giving head in the parking lot behind the tampon factory. “Hey, don’t judge me,” Gloria says. “Your brothers have been out of town all summer, and you’ve been ignoring me. I’m having a dry spell.” I could tell her the twins are back, but if she ran her mouth to Harper, I don’t want her around my house, running her mouth to my brothers. So I point out the obvious. “There are more than three dicks in this town.” “Once you go Walker, you never go back,” she says lightly. “And anyway, I only saw it because she sent it to Dawson.” I’m glad I pulled over at the exit, because I’d probably run someone off the road right now if I were still driving. I grip the steering wheel with one hand and close my eyes. My voice comes out so normal you’d think I was just a guy who dumped a girl and didn’t give a fuck about what happened to her since. “I’m afraid to ask, but… Does your brother always share porn with you?” “No, you weirdo,” she says. “Someone DM’d him, and I’ve been obsessing about her all summer, so he showed it to me. He thinks it’s funny as shit.” “Why are you obsessing about Harper?” I demand. 

What the fuck. Maybe I should have kept in touch with Lo. She could find out shit, maybe even the truth. “I don’t know,” she says. “Don’t you think it’s weird that she just… Vanished? I mean, I’m not saying you’re not worth going off the deep end over, or that you couldn’t eviscerate her heart so completely she could never love again. She liked to play it cool, but she really loved you, August. Like, the kind of love that eats you alive, and you’re never the same again.” “Put that shit on a ninety-nine cent Valentines card. You could make real money.”

“Keep playing, you didn’t feel it, too,” she says. “But y’all broke a lot of hearts when you broke up, not just your own. Everyone figured you’d get back together.” “What’s your point?” I snap. I don’t need a fucking lecture about how much I disappointed everyone. She can add it to my fucking tab for all the times I fucked up and pissed off everyone who matters. “My point is, even if Harper was devastated beyond repair, she’s not the kind of chick who would let a breakup destroy her. She’s stronger than that. You may be irreplaceable even to her, but you’re still a boy. And it would take more than one boy to break Harper.” Maybe not one boy. But one boy who shared her with two more against her will? A broken hand and a rope she couldn’t get free of, a swamp full of snakes more poisonous than her? Yeah. That could do it. “Then it obviously had nothing to do with me,” I say. “Maybe she got hooked on Lady Alice or Pearl Lady or whatever the fuck they’re calling it now, and she’s selling herself to pay for it like a regular junkie. Hell, her mom basically said as much.” “It did blow up the scene right around that time…” Gloria muses. “Maybe she’ll tell you for the right price,” I say flatly. “That’s all she’s ever cared about.” “August…”

 “What?”

 “Look, I don’t know everything that went down between you, but I know what it’s like to walk away from love. Just because you broke up doesn’t mean your heart wasn’t decimated, too.” My laugh is brittle, like stepping on glass. “You’re funny, Lo.” I could ask her, just come right out and be blunt, like King. But I can’t acknowledge that much aloud. The hotel is its own world. When we leave, we don’t mention what goes on there. I don’t tell the school that Gloria is a scholarship kid. I elevated her. And she never tells anyone that I get a room there every few months. Would she risk telling someone, knowing she could lose it all? Even if she hates me, she loves her status too much to risk it. What would make her turn on me like that? Harper didn’t tell that creep where she found out the information. But it has to be Lo. No one else knows. So, I hung up the phone, letting her think this is about a breakup.

 That it’s not about a murder, not about a girl coming back from the dead, a ghost dragging her broken body from the swamp and crawling back into my brain to fuck with it even more. I open my email, the one connected to the OnlyWords and OnlyPics apps by default because it’s all made by the same company. I barely remember thumbing away the automatic notifications I got when someone sent me a message this summer. I ignored them all, knowing they were porn spam. My chest is hollow as I open one from my spam folder. It tells me I have twenty-four new messages on OnlyPics. I follow the link and open my direct messages. The first one is a thumbnail of a video, sent this evening. If it’s from Harper, she changed her handle from BadApple. For a few seconds, all I see is a closeup of part of her tattoo. I take it in, examining it until I realize it’s her hip crease, and pressed along the back of her thigh, an expanse of pale skin. It takes me a minute to make sense of what I’m seeing. Whoever she’s fucking, he’s got her folded in half like her legs are over his shoulders while he nails her into the bed. There’s no caption, and there are no words even on the messenger, so I have to click on the profile to find an explanation. Apple Cream Pie, $1k/min. Time seems to skip. Some caveman part of me must take over, because the next thing I know it’s five minutes later, and I’m five thousand dollars lighter, and I’m slamming my phone against the top of the steering wheel over and over. I feel it crunch and snap, but I keep pounding it until there’s nothing left in my hand, and the pieces of it are scattered across my lap and the floor. Time skips again. I’m in my driveway at home. Blood is dripping down the steering wheel and into my lap. 

I open my hand and find pieces of glass jutting from my palm in a dozen places. And all I think about is that day my car was bombed, and Harper tried to pick the glass from my face with her tiny, careful fingers. I climb out of the car. There’s a black Jaguar parked on the gravel, a tall figure leaning against it. I walked up to him. Something in me seems to have been knocked loose, and I think I might fucking kill him, even though it’s just Oliver Finnegan, who never goes inside. He doesn’t approve of the family business. “Hullo, August,” he says, his Irish accent distorting the words. Or maybe it’s the ringing in my ears. “Am I in your spot? I can move the car.” “Don’t worry about it.” He cocks his head, his weird, pale eyes taking in the blood on my pants, my hand. “You alright, mate?” I shrug and head for the house. Just as I’m about to step inside, his brother steps out, a black duffle in one hand, probably full of cash or those fucking pearls everyone’s on about. Colin Fucking Finnegan. My eyes narrow, my fists clenching until I can feel the glass biting deeper, piercing through my skin and into the muscle and sinew. “Was it you?” I grind out. Part of me knows it’s impossible, but maybe he sent the photo on his way here, or maybe he took it earlier. I need Baron to find the date signature on a video, if it’s even possible. For all I know, Harper’s dead, and she took those videos herself while we were together. If she’d sell my dignity for a scholarship, why wouldn’t she sell videos of herself fucking 2other guys when she was with me? “Whatever it was, I bet it was me,” Colin says, flashing me a knowing grin that shows off his chipped front tooth. “Are you still sore about that beating you took last spring?” “You know what it’s about.” “If it’s not that, you’re pissed you didn’t get a cut of this,” he says, jiggling the bag. “Don’t fucking push me right now,” I warn. His creepy eyes go smug. “Or… You still on about that whore? I figured that’s what set you off last spring. Everyone in town knows I fucked her first. Are you just finding out?” “Where is she?” I demand, grabbing him around the neck and slamming him up against the wall. “Where the fuck do you have her, you cum guzzling, festering wad of infected dick cheese?” A cocky, defiant grin stretches his lips. “Aww, did you catch something off her?” he asks. “Wasn’t me, mate. I popped that cherry when there were barely three hairs on her pussy. Haven’t touched her since.”

I don’t know exactly what happens next. I don’t see Colin Finnegan in front of me anymore. All I see is red. The next thing I know, my brothers and Dad are holding me down on the steps, and Oliver and their uncle are holding Colin back while he curses and struggles and spits. The white gravel is painted red like the day the Darlings vandalized our house, but this time, it’s blood. “Let me up,” I growl, shoving off the step and wrenching free of my family. I stalk toward Colin, who writhes like a cat getting a bath. I can feel blood trickling down my face, the jagged edges of a few broken teeth, and the throb of one eye that’s already swelling shut. But I don’t feel pain. The other thing that lives inside me has swallowed it, and I can’t feel a thing. “Come on,” Colin yells, dancing in the grip of his brother. “Let’s do it again. I can go all night. Whoo! I feel alive!” I stop in front of him, ignoring my brothers, who have rushed up behind me to grab me if I lose my shit again. But I’m calm now. “Enjoy it while it lasts,” I say to Colin. My lip is broken and swollen so thick my words come out slurred. “If I find out you’re the one who sent those videos, you won’t be alive much longer.” I turn and walk inside. I don’t know why I care. I watched two guys fuck her. I gave them permission. I made sure to watch, so I knew I could never want her again, never think she was mine. I broke her on purpose, but piece by piece, I’m the one falling to pieces.

Harpers POV

“Are you Mr. D?” I demand, standing in the Phantom’s bedroom, my whole body quaking. I hold the tag in between my finger and thumb, waving it at him. He just walked out of the shower, his body all steamy, a towel around his hips, mask over his face. He shrugs. “What about it?” Anger seethes through me. “That’s how you knew where I was that night. Isn’t it?” He opens his dresser and pulls out his underwear. I know where he keeps them. I know where everything in his apartment is. But I didn’t know his name, have never seen his face. I come when he calls, practically live here two days a week, like a goddamn whore. He promised he’d fuck me one day, and now he has. I don’t know why it matters suddenly. I never cared before. He nods vaguely toward the windows. “I keep an eye on things.” “On me,” I say, sinking onto the edge of the bed. “You keep an eye on me.” “I told you, I can be anyone you want me to be,” he says with a haughty little smirk. “As long as you’re you, Miss A.” “As long as I’m August’s fuck toy,” I correct him. “That’s why you take those pictures, isn’t it? To send to him and show him what you’ve done to me.” “What I’ve done to you?” he asks, turning to face me after pulling on a pair of sweats. They hang low on his narrow hips. Above them, the ridges of his abs are carved deep and sharp. His body is a finely chiseled sculpture. I’ve never noticed, but he’s beautiful, even without a face. “What about what he did?” He paces forward, stalking, his voice laced with fury that makes me shrink back on the bed, as if he could hurt me more than I’ve been hurt. As if he could take something from me that he hasn’t been taking all along. “You changed me,” I whisper. “I saved you.” I stare up at him, feeling guilty for feeling anything but gratitude. He works out, takes care of himself, wears exquisite clothes to work at his standing desk with three monitors, an ergonomic keyboard, and a fancy Mac computer. I’m the one who should be ashamed. I don’t take care of myself until he tells me to. He tells me to shower, puts me in fancy clothes, makes me look like a girl who could be, in some fairytale in his mind, deserving of him. And he treats me like I am.

 He cooks me fancy dinners and buys me everything I need or could want without me having to ask. He even took care of my mother. I don’t treat him half as well. I don’t cook or offer to help clean up. I don’t even talk to him when I come over. While he cooks, I sit curled on his fine leather sofa, sipping his fine wine. The only thing I do for him in return for everything he’s done is spread my legs. If he’s made me a whore, I’ve let him do it. The first day he bought me something, the phone, I could have said no. But I didn’t. I let him dress me up like a doll, treat me like property, and fuck me like a whore. If anything, he’s shown me he values me more than I value myself. He bought me fucking diamonds. A girl like me, I have no right to even hope for this kind of man, this kind of treatment. I’m lucky to be his whore. But for the first time in months, I want to speak, to voice my desires. “You’re right,” I say. “You’ve treated me well. But I’m done being your whore.” “You’re not—” He breaks off, pressing his lips together and shaking his head. “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. That’s not how I see you, Harper.” “How do you see me?” He stares at me a long moment. “I just wanted to take care of you,” he says at last. “I saw what they did to you. You’re not the only person…” He shakes his head again. “And yeah, I wanted to fuck you to piss off August. I’ll admit that. But I never saw you as a whore. I only gave you what you needed.” “Like these?” I ask, upturning the jeweler’s bag. The box falls out, the lid askew, one of the diamonds dangling out the side like something obscene. “Fair enough,” he says, moving across the room and sitting heavily on the bottom of the bed. “Maybe I had selfish reasons. But I never thought you owed me.

 I know you won’t believe me. I know what I look like. You think I can’t get laid unless I buy a girl diamonds. And you’re right.” “What about your girlfriend?” I ask, my voice thick. He scoffs. “I don’t have a girlfriend. Look at me.” “So you dressed me up and pretended you did,” I say, feeling like some weird blow-up doll. I’ve acted like one. I haven’t been a whole person since before the swamp. I’ve been a doll, broken into a million pieces, and he’s pieced some of them back together—at least on the outside. But he can’t fix me inside. He can reach in, but he won’t find anything to piece back together. I’m hollow. “I never pretended to be a good guy,” he says. “Don’t act shocked that I’m exactly who I was all along.” “But you never told me who you were,” I point out. “You never asked.” “I did.” We sat side by side for a while, neither of us speaking. “You don’t want to know who I am,” he says. “Look at me. Look at what I’ve become.” I could say the same thing. 

 When I tell Mr. D I’m not coming back, he doesn’t say anything. But he doesn’t get ready to take me home as usual. I ask if he’s taking me home, and he says no, but he doesn’t stop me when I take his keys. I keep waiting for him to come after me, but he just studies me, his face behind that infuriating blank mask, his one good eye watching me leave. In the garage, I climb into his truck. I’m sure he’s going to come down and stop me. My hands are shaking so hard I can barely get the key in. I open the garage on the bottom level of his building, and I drive out. I keep checking the rearview, sure I’ll see him coming after me. But he lets me go. Some sick part of me deflates when I turn into my driveway and he’s not there. Not even Mr. D thinks I’m worth hunting down. I climb out of the truck and go inside. Nothing has changed. But everything has. Without the Tuesday and Thursday excursions, I stop leaving the house. I ignore the staff that comes in and cleans my house on a weekly basis. I don't care where they came from or who hired them.

 There’s no point. I Don't even return his truck. It sits like an oversized monster in our driveway, drawing attention from anyone and everyone. I hide the keys inside a tear in my box spring, I sleep with a switchblade in one hand for the nightmares that plague my every waking moment, as if my fall from grace has given them permission to terrorize me, maybe they can smell my brokenness, my weakness, the way I can smell alcohol on Duke’s breath. And even though I was sure I felt nothing all those months, now that I don’t see the Phantom, there’s an ache left inside me that he once soothed. 

When I wake myself up croaking feebly, from a dream where I’m gagged, silenced as I try to force sound from my strangled throat, there are only blankets to wrap around me instead of his strong, salient arms. I stop leaving the house, stop doing anything. I can’t remember why it mattered to be clean, to eat, to live. One evening, as I’m lying corpse like in my bed, a tap sounds at my grimy window. I’m so startled I sit up before my brain can kick in and say what it says about everything—it’s not worth it. It doesn’t matter. Turning my head I see a crow pecking at the shiny part of my window. Standing up and making my way into the bathroom, I turn on the lights avoiding the mirror. I don't want to look at the girl in the mirror. I just can't.Turning on the hot water in the sink letting it fog up my mirror, I scoop the water with my hands and splash it on my face.

  I know I should care but I can't summon the energy. My sponsor is gone. There’s no way out. I’ve given up, accepted the fact that I’ll be just like my dead beat mother. Turning off the water and raising my head, reluctantly I look back at my reflection, I meet my soulless eyes and stare. I should want to rage against this weak girl that I've become, to become the monster those boys wanted me to be.. Turning off the lights and walking back to my room. Dropping back down into bed, I looked out the grimy window and let out a deep sigh, I can't stay like this broken doll. But I just don't care anymore..

A while  later, lying in my bed, I think maybe it’s time I did.

[imaginespazzi]

Best bestie, its been too long! I hope that vaca was phenomenal and that the return is treating you ok. What was your highlight? (I wouldve messaged sooner but work is ramping up here. Plus I felt like the timing wasnt good right before you left/while you were gone/when you just got back)

Guess I'll begin w some old & random asides by voicing my full agreement with you that matcha and Colleen Hoover books are both truly awful things. I feel so strongly about this I just couldnt not share haha.

WBB: Results in the W continue to be a little weird here and there huh, keeping things interesting. Ngl the Mystics recent winning run has been bittersweet for me.. but in fairness at this point Im not sure how out tank the Sparks even if you wanted to. Honestly I just the hate inconsistency tho (injuries aside). And hate to see the rash or recent SEIs. Heres hoping Betnijah is ok!! Another wcbb player in headlines for really bad stuff, sigh, but Im never gonna comment on something still in a legal process.

Not sure Ive commented over the past couple chapters, but GH/fic never fails to be well done!

Lastly, ending on a high note - an overwhelming amount of recent Pazzi content! What can really be said? Its just made me smile to see two people in love out enjoying a bunch of special events/memories together. Especially considering this is prob the last typical student summer for them as a pair.

-☕️

BESTI HI :)

It's been so long, I missed you <3

Listen I'm like a huge foodie so the highlight was definitely having gelato every day lmao

THANK YOU! So sorry to my Matcha girlies but I cannot stand the drink at all. And if you're a CoHo girlie, well yeah no I'm not apologizing for that one, she sucks, her books suck and Azzi and Paige please let me save you!

The W has been so unpredictable which has been both entertaining but also slightly unnerving. But yes I agree the Mystics have been quite bittersweet. On one hand I do love seeing Aaliyah happy but what about the agenda Mike? WHAT ABOUT THE AGENDA? What was the point of all of the struggling in the beginning if we don't even get the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow (who am I kidding Paige is the rainbow).

Ah yes that headline is the worst yet and the article have been confusing to say the least but I just hope justice is served.

The Pazzi content has just been unbelievable. I still feel like I'm in a dream with everything we've gotten but I'm just so happy for the. Just being themselves, making all these connections, going to big events and just having the time of their lives, no one deserves it more.

[ghost-proofbaby]

Omg that chapter!!! I love love love loved it sm like r says theyre back at square one but they are finally moving forward through all that hurt and pain. Him finally apologizing for everything like he couldnt even begin to name every tine hes hurt her, and him being pained when she mentions just what hes said to jer that day proves that i think

I also think that the i really fucking do was after nancy told him to apologize, idk bc if someone already knew that eddie likes r since like the first night they met is nancy. So idk ive already proved to myself that im not too good with theories with this story but i cant help my brain from it i love it sm and it lives rent free in my mind all week<3 it also couldve been a response to “you really like her dont you” and 🥰🥰🥰 we knooow the nervousness about sharing the bed and him blushing after she called him pretty boy and i hope you know you have me screaming i love them so much my fav idiots in love that are just not that ready to have the most unconfiest of uncomfy conversations (well they need to have a couple of those) and thats fine we are here for the ride<3

Also why is no one telling steve what he said🥺🥺 like please just let the guy know so we can know lol im not mad at him (yet) and hes even apologizing about it even if he doesnt know so hes a sweetie but it most be kinda bad if everyone remembers like jonathan knows?! He remembers or did he and nancy talked it out after? It makes me think that the comment wasnt that lighthearted after all :(

thank you so so much for reading and sharing your thoughts first of all my dear 🖤🖤🖤

don’t doubt your theories!!! you never know, sometimes you might be absolutely spot on. my mouth is zipped buuuuut you never know 😌

i will confirm in my mind that with this fic, jonathan and nancy are together and johnny boy gets alllll those boyfriend privileges of knowing the tea haha. the only two who were sober enough to remember are argyle and eddie 🖤 steve and jonathan were both drunken idiots (this also means whatever was said bothered eddie enough for him to discus it with nancy!! 👀)

[hoshiyoshis]

what happened in the new update??

so basically while i saw a few people say rhythm hive used to be integrated group-wise (i cant confirm/deny that, so i'm taking them at their word--i only started playing when svt was added), it went from being the four separate groups to being like... All Of Them together. no switching between groups (which imo wasnt even tht big of a hassle as someone who started playing for txt alongside svt a few months ago), they're just all together and also you can pull cards for literally All Groups now. so you could literally be playing for like... only bts, and pull an XR for enhypen, and so forth. like, i popped back in to check and there's no way to Only pull cards for a single group now--the card shop states you can only pull for all groups. if you're a multi fan, then i guess that part of the update isnt so bad, but i've seen So many people who only play for one group that don't want cards for other groups since they have no intention of playing those songs.

aside from that, they did a complete overhaul of how songs play. i'm not a game designer, so my knowledge is limited to just what i know as a person who, yknow, plays games, but i feel like the game doesn't give you any kind of time to react when you play? even when you slow down the rate that notes come at you, it feels like they speed up once they get to where you're supposed to hit them. it makes it kinda harder to hit them if ur like me and prefer the harder modes (like i stopped playing easy/normal within months of playing bc i like the challenge of hard mode + max speed). they've also implemented something i've seen in the superstar games where you only have so many notes you can miss before you fail. i think it works better in the superstar games because you don't play the full song in those, just short segments--whereas rhythm hive gives you the option to toggle between playing a full song or playing a short segment. having a health bar, essentially, basically makes it harder to learn a song all the way through. i used to play the chapters for svt before i hit roadblocks, but being able to play through the entire thing helped me get better and get through the harder chapters, y'know? having only so many hits makes it way more frustrating for someone trying to learn the song. games can be challenging, but they still have to be fun, yknow?

also ik it happened to other ppl but uh. i went from being like... level 50-something (maybe higher--im blanking) to being level 16 after the update. it was super jarring and im not sure if they explained why that is--i'd have to go looking.

UR cards don't rly mean shit anymore imo. i and a lot of other ppl on twt who play also expressed frustration that the scoring system seems way more confusing. ive accumulated a ton of cards over the past year to the point where i've hit all XRs for a couple themes in svt, and uh... i barely made an A rank on a song despite that and playing pretty decently throughout the song? like i didnt miss any notes and i still didn't rank that high when i finished the song. i've other ppl have questioned how you're supposed to score super high when they've got way better cards than me bc they've mixed theirs to get the better ones.

also minor thing because you can turn it off, but they did make it on by default that you hear this annoying sound whenever you hit notes in the game. took me back to when i used to play other games and while not awful, it's not what i rly enjoyed. you can turn that off tho, so minor points for that, and i'll admit that the UI is kinda pretty. i miss the old thing, but it doesn't look awful. cards def looked better in the old version tho, i miss how sparkly they were. they just feel kinda boring now.

tl;dr: you can't pull cards for a single group anymore, the scoring system makes sense + they ruined the gameplay by changing it up & adding a health bar system so you have limited misses before you have to restart entirely (or continue playing by paying gems, fuck that noise) + bad default noise that you Can turn off but why did they even put it in the game.

it doesn't feel like someone play tested it tbh like i'm sure Someone would have said "this feels bad to play" in some form. ive only seen a single person enjoy the update, and its purely bc they can trade in cards n whatnot. everyone else i've seen has been pissed to the point of either just saying "i'm done unless they revert it back" or calling other ppl to fully boycott it since its like... a major downgrade in quality.

(also ive seen ppl missing superstar bts and yknow what, cant blame em. superstar games are solid. i have my own gripes with certain aspects of them, but its exclusive to a single game out of the two i play haha)

smaller text bc this got long sorry!!

[yowwsoi]

Another set of thoughts that I couldn't tell you cos you might be sick of my long ass messages

I'm blaming myself for all the shortcomings that I wasn't able to change while I was with you. Had I done something to make it right, it would have not led to anything this bad. And that if I had only come sooner, when you asked for November... I just wished I did. I wished I came sooner that time. Who knows? Maybe we could have saved the crumbling relationship. Maybe we had tried together that time. Maybe I could have changed your mind.

To be honest, I don't know if I'll ever move on from you. The idea of loving another the way I loved you pains me. To be vulnerable and open to another and watch them give up on me eventually, the way you did, terrifies me. But the thing is, you weren't a bad person. You were the silliest, strongest, loving and beautiful woman I've ever met. You showed me that my black and white world could be colorful. I didn't believe in love when I met you. Yes, we were young, and we basically grew together. I had only seen the toxic and ugly side of love with some couples like the ones we see in movies, and sometimes when my parents fight on something that isn't worth it - but when I met you, everything changed. You showed me the beautiful side of love. Truth, we have only grown mature during the latter years of the relationship. You showed me the beautiful side of love.. You healed all the broken parts of me. You may not know it but its true. I did not believe that a love this strong exists when we realized that we are a couple. That we arent just friends/best friends. And as weird as it sounds, I just always knew that I loved you. That time I was lost, that time when you had to endure the pain of me giving my attention to someone else - whether it be friends or potential affairs (which I didn't take seriously, tbh). You changed my views in love. You taught me how to be mature. The idea of 'home' was a dream to me, something I longed to feel. When we spent most of our times together, you eventually became my home. My safe place, a place where I could let my guard down and just breathe. You were the only person I would run to with every problem in my life and you were there with open arms and no judgment. We helped each other thrive, we built each other up.. and I wouldnt want it any other way. To be honest, I would rather fix things with you a million times than start new with someone else. The idea of moving on now pains me. My heart is not ready, I am not ready, I will never be ready. I don't know how to push our memories aside. Maybe it just wasnt our time and I've learned you can't force it to be. The way I looked at you yesterday when we had another fight even though you just came to deliver my laptop.. you despise me and my presence. I will never forget that look, that shout, the anger and pain in your eyes. I understand.. things just didnt work out. I am just forcing myself to see things differently as I believe we can always change for the better. I wish things had turned out differently because everything was so great for a while.. remember that time when we enjoyed our broke CDO moments together? Those times when we traveled on the bus, you often feel like puking but you are hesitant to do so cause there was no bag, so instead you swallowed it lol. All those times we spent just going anywhere around our tiny city, or even those lazy days we spent at home just lying in bed and carefree, not caring about the future or anything, just enjoying each others' company? It's too bad life isnt like that, things like that never last. I had a great time with you, great years even.. and even though things didn't turn out well, I don't regret any second of it.

Now I know you have heard this a million times, but I mean it.. but I'll just show it instead of these words.. cant even send you this cos you might tell me Im a talkshit.

You will forever be my favorite chapter in my book.. But I just gotta let you go as much as it kills me, that I have to walk away now. If our love is as strong as we believed it to be, then we will meet again in the future. But as you said, that is something I should not cling on. I will always be here... cheering you on and praying that you are safe, happy, and achieving your dreams. Thanks for everything, my bibingko. I am glad I was there for you when you needed me. For sure... I will miss you, so bad. Where's the good in goodbye? Goodbye my love... and thank you so much for the opportunity of letting me into your life for the past 12 years... I'm glad I married my bestfriend, the love of my life, the only one.. Wouldn't want it to be anyone else, but we have to move forward. Everything is just so unfortunate right now.. but thank you. Thank you. I love you... more than anything in this world.

[namuneulbo]

week sixty-four

this week. woah. it was......... a lot.

well, to start off... i have a crush on v. i figured this out on monday and since then its gotten so severe lol. monday to friday was spent thinking ab him and also apparently not hiding it very well from l. ill come back to this later but this entire chapter will for sure be ab him and also in sm detail.

ive kind of talked a lot ab him and just my “new friends” in general a lot w l and my mom. i think my mom even has suspicions that i like either d or v (bc i talk ab them the most prob).

i started spamming n, s and t and also i, m and t ab him. i wont be able to cover what i told them all individually but n def received the most detailed info yet only one pic (WHICH WAS A HORRIBLY EMBARRASSING ONE I TOOK ON BEREAL WHEN IT CUT EVERYONE OUT AND THEIR POSES SO IT WAS JUST HIM NOT POSING AAAAA I FEEL LIKE A MOM WHO TAKES PICS OF HER KIDS WO CONSENT TT). i talked A LOT w s ab him too and w t i just spammed quickly on monday/tuesday i think, i cant bother checking. when i told i, m and t they immediately asked for a pic and i was scared theyd bully me lol but they said hes solid WOO! s approved of him too, saying the nail polish and his guitar made him seem very much like my type.

ill give u all who might be reading this a lil description of his pros. i would say a reminder to future me as well but yk maybe we end up together so :* heres what weve got so far:

- hes taller than me.

- has a niiiiiice voice.

- nice sense of style. its like basic as in plain colors (pretty much only black, hell wear white sweaters or super dark colors). it looks so good.

- hes a metalhead (+ we have two bands in common, ghost and polyphia).

- piercingssss!

- hes so talented, like he can play guitar, drums AND piano flawlessly.

- hes funny.

now to his cons: he’s not fully single. so. um. idk if theyre dating or in a situationship or just talking but its something for sureeee.

i dont ever want to like, break them up on purpose or like make moves on him while theyre talking bc im not a fucking douchebag. it is quite sad seeing them together though. i cant help but dislike the girl hes w a bit even though i dont want to, shes really cool and gorgeous and nice im just so O_o

on wednesday we had band class and i was MESMERIZED. he had a concert that same day so he was dressed up in a navy button-up, black jeans cuffed over a black pair of chelsea boots. i had to leave a couple times during practice bc i had to practice harmonies w the singers and i remember literally feeling sad ab not being able to stare at him playing the piano so perfectly.

in the evening i went out to the bar for the weekly music quiz they do. i went w a, c and v at first but later on d and p joined (not dan and phil sadly). i was super awkward lol but it was my first time hanging out w just them and it felt so,,,, new to me. im glad i did it though, ig? i got to see him even if it was awkward. also, i think d has my old backpack that i left to a thrift shop. its a floral pattern w black faux leather details and gold buttons. its quite cute and it fits him really well.

i did eventually warm up a bit but nothing crazy.

i was already comfy around c but after wednesday, i was also comfy around d. he was so nice that i even questioned if i liked him as well but turns out i was probably really desperate TT i tend to never be interested in ANYONE when i like someone and thats really obvious now. even though my chances w v r low, i still deleted all my dating apps and stuff bc i dont have the desire to go on them as of rn.

on friday i had been CRAVING a party to go to all day. i was just waiting for someone to send a message saying “yo, party at vs place!”. we usually party at his place. i literally ranted to my mom ab how bad i was hoping for someone to throw a party and this wasnt even just bc of getting to see v but i was genuinely so socially starved. finally, around 19:30 id say, someone sends a message in the class gc telling everyone ab a party at his place. i immediately message l begging for them to come w me and even saying if they dont, ill go either way bc i want to go so bad. they end up declining and i go to the party myself. i get ready in a few minutes, just fixing my day-old makeup and eating and drinking water and stuff so i wont throw up the second i drink alcohol. i was so quick and i was walking w such speed around the house so i think my mom has probably started to connect the dots now that theres someone i like bc im never that excited ever. i leave along w my mom who took the dog out for a walk. since v lives so nearby she walked w me pretty much the entire way.

id never usually be this confident but i had been talking w s the entire day and she hyped me up SO much. i actually love her sm for that. i arrive there, v throws down his keys from the balcony, i catch them and go up to his apartment. i was a tad bit quiet in the beginning but i really tried to force myself to just relax and look cool and i did after a little while. we blasted metal and one of the first things they did was that everyone of them, c, d and v, went out for a smoke so i joined in even though i dont smoke but i enjoyed the lil passive smoking sesh on the tiny balcony, stuck behind d and v.

(bereal just went off, vs so cute).

anyways, i quite quickly felt more relaxed, i kinda forced myself to sit more,, relaxed and stop fidgeting and i got more included in the convo by queueing songs to play. i first asked v to queue kingslayer by bmth and babymetal and he was super excited ab it so i was so glad he liked it. we listened to it on a party a whileeee ago and i remember being so excited ab the fact that he liked that song too. a had arrived by now and hes v good to have there in that sense that he will make me join in the convo somehow if i havent talked in a while. he made me queue another song and i queued drowning lessons by mcr. i was so caught by surprise and i always get so shit at using tech shit and the internet in front of ppl, idk why, so v started guiding me on what buttons to press TT i hadnt thought of drowning lessons in the first place actually but i just kind of naturally went w mcr for some reason and then ended up choosing my fav song by them. we listened to it and v was like “DID HE JUST VOICE BREAK???” and i was like “oh, maybe? i mean its their first album so the mixing and recording might be a bit shit” and he replayed the part and was like “THERE IS A VOICE BREAK!” and c started explaining to him in distress that its just how u sing punk TT after a while v was like “its still going? how long is it?” and checked and it was right before the outro and i was like “waittt, we havent gotten to the best part yet!” and he leaves it and the breakdown comes and he does a stankface and just looks at me like “oh, a breakdown ending, hell yeah!” and i was so happy haha

last song i queue is taking you out by passcode. as i was typing it v read out what i was typing and kept guessing songs, heh, it was so cute. he asked me ab the band and stuff and then said like “oh, she growls really well for a woman” and the proceeds to elaborate in distress that he didnt mean it in a misogynistic women-cant-growl type of way but in a its-genuinely-harder-for-a-woman-to-do-metal-growls. it was quite cute, he tends to do that a lot, like overexplaining things so ppl dont think hes being a dickhead even though he says very normal things TT its so cute and it really shows that he cares.

i mentioned that i was ab to start learning growling w my vocal teacher and how she also said she wants to get the singer of finntroll to come and teach growling to me (WHICH IS SO COOL???). v was like “oh my god, im also ab to practice growling w my vocal teacher” and then when i told him ab the singer of finntroll thing he got so excited and just “what??? for real??? thats so cool???” and proceeds to be like “omg, when ur w him tell him uve got a friend who wants to have a lesson w him too” and c joins in and says the same. i felt so cool in that moment haha

me, c and d went out to go meet the ppl from school who had been touring all week. before we left i went to pee and literally on the toilet i was smiling sm bc i felt so comfy and happy and all that in that moment like, i was talking to him??? and he was talking back???? and he smiled???? he wanted to talk to me????? i did a lil happy jump sesh after i washed my hands. then otw to school, me, c and d were jumping around and running and yelling. them bc they were drunk, me bc i was so excited abt finally feeling comfy w them + obviously getting to talk to v successfully after crushing so hard on him the past week. i was so happy too bc i finally felt like i kind of belong. i felt for the first time true that like “oh my god, they dont hate me!”. so while meeting the ppl at school i was sooooo happy and like greeting everyone and just smiling and feeling so cool and included and aaaaaaa i was so happy i cant even explain it. c and d r the coolest ppl ever!!!

we went back w s + we left d behind for a bit, sorry d!! now this was when i was truly connecting the dots between s and v. partypooper. i did tag along to the bar w all of them afterwards though. i just went by my place to eat something and get my id.

i arrived to the bar and i sat down next to c at first but later moved next to d so i could sit on the couch. me and c went to buy drinks and then d left to go smoke. there was an awkward space between me and v so i tried to subtly move closer to him and later when d came back he just sat in the spot i sat earlier so i sat between him and v.

more ppl arrived and i ended up becoming squished between d and v. NOW THIS. this changed me as a whole human being. i have been terrified of men all my life and w not specific reason bc the thing is that its not rooted in like, being scared that theyll do something, i just genuinely get more tense around men than women. this moment was so, special to me and not just bc i was squished next to v and our arms and legs were in constant touch but like, i got this kind of realization that, maybe i dont need to be nervous. like, theres nothing to worry ab. i trust d and v. theyre really nice. d i was already comfy w since wednesday and v i just that evening got comfy w. although i am touch deprived i really just,,, felt so happy, safe and relaxed in a group if people, in the middle of two men. i didnt feel the need to fidget out of nervousness and stuff. i was just, calm.

v looks over at me and asks me how drunk im planning to get. he himself says he wants to be so drunk he throws up. i jokingly reply saying i dont want to throw up. he starts showing me a scale w his hands, going down from ten and giving each level its own name so like “this is throw up drunk, this is like this and this is that...” and i end up saying i wanna get slighty above drunk and hes just like “so like a six?” and i nod. he says something along the lines of “thats cool, thats solid”.

later a girl sits next to d and begins talking w her. he starts whispering w v over my lap and i just sit there laughing awkwardly, hoping someone would notice and laugh w me as well. they dont talk for too long but they do this again later and talk for like two minutes straight over my lap and i just use this time to admire vs back and his ear piercings. d apologises and i chuckle and tell him its fine and that i didnt mind (i really did not bc i am truly so touch-starved). d later tells me ab this girl and bc of the music he has to really be close to my ear and talk w me. we talk like that for a while and he says hes glad i understand his situation. long story short, this girl had apparently been trying to flirt w him even though he has a girlfriend. i think he handled the situation really well.

v once again looks over at me, this time as were both kind of resting against the booth, bodies facing each other. he just asked how i was feeling today but it felt so intimate and i was savoring the conversation and eye contact as much as i could. i told him that i was really craving social interaction today so i was really glad i could tag along w them. he acted a bit funnily so i asked him how drunk he was. he said he feels a bit sick. idk why but that convo was so :’) i am TREASURING it.

him and s decided to leave, making almost everyone else leave. i stayed for a bit w a and c and some other unknown ppl but decided to leave after a bit. while me, a and c went out when they went to smoke i saw a bunch of ppl from both elementary and middle school. d, l, n and t. i was kind of hoping one of them wouldve noticed me earlier while i was w v and all the others so they could be like “omg shes sitting next to two guys, i wonder if shes dating anyone of them” or like “omg she has such cool friends now”.

okay, thats all on friday. saturday however, i met up w l for a bit, i tell them ab my crush on v. i sit them down, hold their hands and keep eye contact.

“so on wednesday we had a conversation on tiktok and i talked ab how boy obsessed i am feeling these days, right?”

they continue looking at me, asking me if this is ab e. i dont tell them yet.

“so after i said that, u said ‘well as long as its not d or v bc ik theyre the only friends we have but i assure u there r better alternatives’”

they begin staring at me in shock and yell:

“l! not them, omg! which one is it- no, wait. let me guess... d?”

i look at them for a bit before replying: “its not d.”

“ITS V? L, NO U CANT!” and they kick me as im laughing so hard im falling of the bed.

“IT IS! i have a fucking crush on v!”

we talk ab this for a while and i tell them ab friday and all that and it was sm fun lol

after me and l ahd hung out i went out to a proper party held at school. like dancing-beer-pong-bar kind of party. i met d and some others outside of the enterance and say hi. i then go inside and immediately meet c and c. they bring me to the dance floor and shows me where all the drinks r and everything. i see v playing beer pong. i dont like dancing at all so i join for a bit but leave soon enough. i sit and talk w a for a while. when v sat down on the same couch i was in i told a who was sitting on the other side that she could sit down on the couch properly instead of just sitting on the armrest and so she did and my evil plan worked, i got to move even closer to v. after a while it was finally our turn to play beer pong, we played w just water though. it was my first time playing and i was in the same team as a. she was so good? we played again v and two others. it was so humilating to play against v but my team won thanks to a. she was really awesome. during our last cup, v tried distracting me by hovering his hands over the cup but it literallyt made me aim better bc i could look at his hands TT he only distracted me w his hands and never a.

i left after s arrived to the party bc i got so sad seeing her w v lol but i was overwhelmed by the party anyways lol

sotw: bring me the horizon - alligator blood

[chaewandz]

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ rose ꒰ nishimura riki x fem!reader ꒱

chapter 05: the little victorian boy outfits

“so why didn’t you two stay in contact?” joonie asked, arms folded across her chest in utter disbelief.

“I wasnt allowed to.” y/n shrugged her shoulders, careful not to disrupt the seamstress who was currently dressing y/n in her ballgown.

“I guess this means he had a crush on you?” isa realized, raising her eyebrows.

“SHHH. NO MORE COMMENTARY ON THIS.” y/n declared.

“so the competition is over before it even starts…” sakura frowned. “it’s unfortunate. I was really hoping to see them all fight for you in the haunted house.”

“what do you mean over? JUST BECAUSE WE WERE FRIENDS IN FRESHMAN YEAR MEANS IM AUTOMATICALLY GONNA PICK HEESEUNG?” y/n’s jaw dropped.

“well yeah?” youngeun replied like it was obvious.

“you guys stress me out.” y/n shook her head.

“pick sunoo so I can get free makeup.” isa suggested.

“NO PICK SUNGHOON! rich power couple I’m telling you!!!” sakura argued.

“yeonjun is so fine though. can we take the ones you reject??” youngeun asked.

“can you just put your fucking dresses on.”

the girls laughed, dashing to the clothing rack that held their ballgowns.

y/n couldn’t help but laugh back at her friends and their over the top excitement after only seeing the suitors through a television screen.

“do you think she was watching?” heeseung asked, tying his shoes as he sat on the same leather couch as before the red carpet.

“I’d like to think so. i mean she wouldn’t miss our first appearances would she? or maybe she couldn’t because she was busy getting ready- I don’t know.” jake was clearly nervous, playing with the cuffs of his pants.

“dont be nervous!” heeseung interjected. “if you’re clearly nervous around her then this is all just gonna go wrong very quickly. she’ll also be able to tell if you’re nervous.”

“how do you know???”

“because you are so bad at hiding your emotions!” heeseung responded without missing a beat. it was a believable excuse anyway.

jake playfully nudged his shoulder and the two moved to sit in front of a mirror to get their hair done.

“are we gonna have to dance…” hueningkai whispered in disbelief.

“oh my god are we- this is it for me. this is really it. I’m going to trip and fall and embarrass myself. might as well leave now to avoid the embarrassment.” beomgyu had his head in his hands.

taehyun just let out a deep sigh as he rolled his eyes.

“why do I always have to be the sensible one? hueningkai, yes you will have to dance. but the steps are easy and she isn’t gonna choose you based on your dance skills, it’s based on YOU! beomgyu, if you walk out of that door I’m going to smack you across the head. you won’t trip and fall. you will dance with her, just like all of us will and you will be a normal human being. both of you please get it together i am begging.” taehyun basically gave them a lecture, standing in front of the two who sat terrified on the couch.

“appreciate it mate.” beomgyu whispered in fear.

“fair enough.” hueningkai muttered.

“beomgyu please stop with the british accent-“ taehyun nearly slapped him right then and there.

“IT COMES OUT WHEN IM NERVOUS!!!”

“thats what she said.” hueningkai giggled.

taehyun was appalled, beomgyu nearly died laughing.

a usual sight among the trio.

“jay i do respect you, but don’t you respect me as well? cant you at least accept the fact that you aren’t the only person on the earth to like the princess??” jungwon tried his best to approach jay calmly, but he could feel himself slowly losing it.

“of course I respect you jungwon. you’re my best friend for gods sake. and yes. i know I’m not the only person to like her, I just never thought you would feel the same! not when you spent so much time listening to me rant about how much I liked her!” jay never meant to snap at jungwon, he was right about how much their friendship meant to him. but he couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of betrayal he felt.

jungwon sensed his change in demeanor and slowly sat down on the couch next to him, staring at the ground.

“I fucked up. i shouldve at least mentioned my feelings towards her beforehand. I’m sorry for breaking your trust, thats probably what I’m most upset about in this whole situation.” jungwon admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I guess a part of me knew I’d upset you, and that’s why I kept it from you. i also knew that if I didn’t apply then I would regret it for the rest of my life. i didn’t even expect to get in, and I definitely didn’t expect both of us to.” he fidgeted with his hands, still not looking up from the floor.

“and im sorry for snapping at you. i know you didn’t have bad intentions, you never do. thats like close to impossible for you.” jay chuckled, patting jungwon’s back, making him laugh as well.

“is it possible for us to be good?” this was when jungwon finally lifted his head to look jay in the eyes.

“i think so. why don’t we become each other’s wingman or something?? truly I’d take anything over us fighting or our friendship ending.”

“wingman it is.” jungwon extended his arm to shake jay’s hand, a symbol of a truce.

jay shook his hand and smiled.

“now that we’re good, can we practice dancing? this will be so humiliating otherwise.” jungwon laughed.

“of course.” jay nodded, the two getting up to practice dance steps.

“who was stopping me from putting on a silly little victorian boy outfit before today. seriously. because I look a little too fine??” sunghoon turned and strutted around the dressing room towards the mirror.

niki and sunoo just exchanged looks of disgust.

“I feel embarrassment for you. how is that possible? why do I care about how you choose to humiliate yourself?” niki crossed his arms.

“stop being jealous, you will get wrinkles my dear riki.” sunghoon looked him up and down, then went back to strutting around.

“I desperately need to be out of this dressing room away from you both.” sunoo continued doing his makeup, with his own products of course.

“you’ll fall and break a bone trying to dance at the ball. that seems worse than a couple wrinkles but that’s just me.” niki sighed sarcastically.

“whatever you say grandpa!” sunghoon shrugged his shoulders.

then niki threw one of sunoo’s makeup wipes at him and ran and hid in the bathroom before sunghoon could even fight back.

“how is it that he’s always running from us somehow.” sunoo wondered, thinking back to when niki walked out on their photoshoot.

“he needs to be humbled.” was all sunghoon said, sunoo whispering “the irony…” back without him hearing.

“the red carpet was even better than I imagined it to be. all of the photographers were so excited to see us??” yeonjun looked like he could start jumping around with the amount of energy he had.

“I know! I’m even more excited for the ball… I bet she’ll look so pretty… let’s not look stupid yeah?” soobin adjusted yeonjun’s hair.

“of course. I feel like the embarrassment from rugby is still there I really don’t want to relive anything close to that…” yeonjun shuddered at the thought.

“impossible. that was definitely rock bottom for you, I’m not sure you can hit it again so you’ll be good!”

“thank you soobin.” yeonjun smiled, even though he was being teased.

“of course! it also won’t be raining so the odds of you slipping-“

“ok you made your point.”

the two burst into laughter and went back to fixing each other’s hair and outfits.

← previous masterlist next →

author’s note: ok so to recap! y/n’s Bffs discuss the heeseung problem w her as they get their ballgowns on (YES THE INDOOR EVEN IS A BALL🤭) jake and heeseung talk, heeseung using his insight on y/n to calm jake without seeming suspicious 🤞beomgyu, hueningkai, and taehyun are up to their usual antics. jay and jungwon make up 💖 my lovely jaywon Bffs. sunoo, niki, and sunghoon are up to their usual antics x2. yeonjun and soobin being sweet. i think they’re my fav duo …. AND YES BY LITTLE VICTORIAN BOY OUTFITS I MEAN THE ONES FROM BORDER CARNIVAL😭 thank u for reading bc we are finally getting somewhere

taglist: (open!!) @cwsana @emoworu @strwberrydinosaur @justbored48 @flwrsforriki @deafeningballoonnacho @faiirybread @captivq @1lovestrawberrymilk

send an ask to be added!!

synopsis: after she turns 18, y/n’s parents arrange a competition for young suitors in her town to compete for her love, a family tradition that brought about her parents’ marriage. twelve men are selected, but who will win her heart?

[vrisrezis]

Aot x reader - Chapter 139 (spoilers obviously)

Eren

- once you realized mikasa had killed Eren, the three of you hugged and cried

- they both knew it was very rough on you

- he wanted to love you and live a normal and long life with you

- he wanted you to love him and nobody else and only think about him

- even after he’s gone

- such selfish desires he could never truly ever have

- but he did get one wish

- that you’d never move on

- it was three years after his death, exactly three years

- it was his anniversary death, mikasa was there with you, the others would join you soon

- while mikasa often encouraged you to try and go out on dates you couldn’t

- you were in love with Eren Yeager and it would always be like that

- until you finally died

Armin

- you and armin mourned Eren

- you and armin finally got married

- after dating for now 5 years it was something you finally got to do, the two of you just wanted to live like a normal couple

- while you spent a lot of time together, along with everyone else.. it was nice to just be alone with armin for once

- you loved him so much

- “do you wanna start a family?”

- as to which he’d reply, “yes, absolutely”

- you two could finally rest and live normally, and quite frankly it’s all you guys ever wanted

- you just wished Eren could’ve been there to see it

- you tried to encourage mikasa to go out and date, armin did not.. maybe it was because of what Eren told him

Mikasa

- she took erens death very hard

- she was the one that killed him after all

- you understood, they were very close

- she wanted to just live a normal life, be a wife and have kids

- so eventually you would

- and she would every so often visit Eren, even if it wasn’t all the time

- but it was his three year anniversary

- you cant believe it’s been three years since you’ve fought, since you’ve killed

- she can’t believe it either

- thank you Eren, for everything

- that’s what the both of you said a lot

- he was like a brother to you

- you couldnt imagine how mikasa felt

- your girlfriend is one strong lady

Connie

- the two of you (and Jean) really thought that was it

- and when you both got freed from being Titans, you instantly hugged eachother and cried.

- all you could do was cry

- Eren...

- the both of you forgave him of course

- the two of you still mourned over sasha quite a bit

- and you both cried seeing her again after so long

- at least you and Connie can finally relax

- “do you wanna... get married ?”

- “I mean .. sure”

- Connie and you visited everyone as often as you could, and you can see Connie slowly turn back to his normal goofy self

- it made you very happy to see him so bright again, he hadn’t been that way since Sasha was around to be honest

Jean

- the both of you thought it was the end of the line

- coming back, after just becoming Titans made you happy, but the mixed feelings you both had because of Eren

- crying seeing Sasha again

- “who you tryna impress Jean? Y/n? They already know what you look like” “shut it Reiner”

- he hasn’t been able to live a normal domestic life like he’s always dreamed of

- he takes you on dates, he does so much with you and he’s just a big hopeless romantic nowadays

- dances with you, you name it

- he just loves you so much

- he’s just glad he could spend a normal life with you finally when it’s something he prayed for

Historia

- after all that hell was over you just wanted to be with historia

- you felt bad leaving her with some random guy to cover for you while you fought out there

- but of course historia didn’t mind and understood you had a duty

- it’s been three years and it’s your daughters birthday and the both of you couldnt have asked for better

- you had a child and were happy, and you were married

- what better ending for the both of you then that?

- while she was miserable while being pregnant for a long time, she didnt realized the joy it was to have a child

- until she had the child at least

- she was glad she didn’t stay miserable and so were you

- it was the happiest moment of your lives, even if eren never got to witness it

Levi

- while it did hurt you a bit to see him in the state he was in and would be in for the rest of his life you were happy he was finally resting

- he was safe, with you, with gabi, and with falco

- nothing you could want more than that to be honest

- especially with the emotional attachment you grew to those kids

- he knew it too, you acted like such a parent to them both

- for once, despite all that he’s gone through and all that he’s lost he never lost you

- and man, he is so glad his worst nightmare never came true

- but truth be told he still gets really bad nightmares, but now he feels a lot safer

Reiner

- when he saw you again he cried and hugged you, as well as his mother of course

- he could finally introduce you both to eachother

- he went on dates with you often, but Jean always had something to say about it

- especially when you’d write him letters.. cause he’d sniff it like a creep

- he loves you though, and he’s glad he can finally be happy

- if only bertholdt was here to see it for himself

Annie

- she introduced you to her father

- something she always wanted to do actually

- living a normal domestic life with you wasnt something she ever thought could happen

- she’s happy about it though

- often you and Annie went to spend time with mikasa since she was going through a rough patch

- you and Annie eventually got married

- took awhile, she wasn’t ready but that was fine with you

- armin was happy for you both :]

- you and Annie see Reiner often too, you guys are buddies :]

- overall Annie is for once very happy

Pieck

- it has been so long since you’ve seen pieck actually get some fucking rest

- over the years this has been the best thing to happen to the both of you

- she was finally taking better care of herself

- she finally looked like she was sleeping, and had cleaned herself up and making herself just look a lot better

- she didn’t have regrets anymore, since she wasn’t dying anytime soon

- she was just there by your side living as normally as she could, which was pretty normal

- neither of you imagined this kinda life but you are both pleased

Gabi and falco

- the three of you gave eachother a big hug upon seeing eachother again

- safe and sound

- falco was relieved to see you both in one piece and not mindless Titans

- he cried a lot and so did gabi

- now you guys are older teens

- the three of you had been together for awhile but no complaints there

- the three of you did your best to take care of your dad Levi and he wasn’t displeased by how you guys dealt with it either

- he cared for you all very much and you all cared for him too

- you were just glad falco and gabi were happy, that the three of you could live long lives together like falco always wanted

[fckwritersblock]

More Than Therapy

Bucky x black!reader

Warning: sooooo there is smut ahead. Okay like, not complete filth but it’s there! Who even knows what this is, but enjoy it!

Pic below from post by @afriendlyblackhottie

(Unedited.)

“Look, I’m not saying that she’s not a great therapist, I’m just think that she’s not your style.”

Bucky didn’t hide his eye roll.

For the past 2 weeks, Sam had been trying to convince him he needed a second option. Ever since he had his own encounter with Bucky’s therapist, which consisted of being forcefully included in one of their sessions, he could see it wasn’t really helping Bucky at all. Not that Sam was an expert or anything, he just knew his.....friend.

“Alright Sam, fine.” Bucky sighed tossing the wrench to the side. “So what. I kick my therapist to curb, then what? You got some kind of recommendation or something?”

Sam just smirked before turning and making his way off the boat.

“Actually I do.”

Now here Bucky was, waiting on another person to come and try to break down all his walls and get in his head and help him with through his ‘issues’.

“Waste of time.” He mumbled to his self.

However, when she walked in the door, that thought quickly left.

“I’m Y/n.”

“James”

“It’s nice to meet you James.”

For the first time in a very long time Bucky felt comfortable almost immediately. The conversation didn’t feel forced, he didn’t feel pressured, it was just easy. Y/n didn’t push and pry. She simply let him answer the way he want and what he wanted. She let him sort of control the conversation. It was refreshing.

From then on, he saw her twice a week. Their first two weeks together was just them getting to know one another. Establishing trust on Buckys end. He appreciated that for once the woman so much pressure for him to be OK so soon. Finally, after about a month or so, they were doing a little exercises here and there to work through his trauma. The first assignment, it was actually pretty similar to the last psychiatrist he had seen. To get out and make at least one friend. Find an activity or something that he enjoys.

“So have you been getting out like we discussed?”

“Yeah I’ve gone out.” He nodded carelessly with a grin as he sat across the table from her.

Y/n raised an eyebrow. “To places besides the bar.”

“Yes.”

“Liar.” She said and it was her turn to grin as she held her hand out.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, handing over his phone. Bucky watched her click a few buttons knowing she was checking his contacts. This was like Deja vu.

“You have the same amount of numbers in your phone as last week Barnes.”

“Not true Doc, I have you.” He smiled sheepishly.

“I hardly count Barnes.” A small smile graced her face nonetheless.

She was quiet for a moment and he took that opportunity to study her. In deep thought. Y/n had a tell. She’d bite the corner of her bottom lip on the right side every time she was trying to figure something out. Usually before she came up with his homework before the next session.

“I have a thought but you’re not gonna like it.” She began after while.

“Lay it on Doc.”

“I don’t feel like you are actively trying to be a part of society. What you’ve been doing, trying to right your wrongs of the other guy...” she drifted for a moment. “It’s futile. You don’t need to do that. That-“

Y/n paused taking a deep breath.

“That’s not you.” She spoke softly.

“But that is me! I am winter soldier!” He yelled on his feet quickly.

Anger. He was familiar with the feeling. Angry was something he just couldn’t seem to stop feeling. Even if he didn’t show it, it was like he was angry all the time. However feeling it with her was unfamiliar. And he could feel the inner turmoil of him taking his frustrations out on her as he tried to push that anger back down.

“Were.” Y/n stated with finality, voice strong. “You were the winter Solider. And that wasn’t you. That’s just a couple of dark chapters in the book of your life. That’s it.

“You don’t know m-“

“But that is not you.” She repeated a little louder commanding forcing him to look her dead in the eyes. “That’s not who you are, James. And while I may not have known you pre-hydra, or during, but I’m knowing you now. And that’s just not you.”

Y/n leaned back in her chair.

“I know that here, Bucky.” She grinned a little placing her hand over her heart and tapped twice. “And deep down, so do you.”

“. You, James Buchanan Barnes, you are not the bad guy.

The anger he had been feeling had subsided and I was replaced with something that was completely unfamiliar to him. Something he longed for couldn’t quite the grass. Something that he didn’t even realize was in within his reach until noon.. The feeling, regardless of how unfamiliar it was with something Bucky didn’t think he wanted to go away.

The silence between them was comfortable. Y/n could tell that he was processing her words. It was a good thing, she could because he was no longer good tense and his stance was relaxed instead of defensive.

“You know what? We’re finished for today. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She declared.

“What?” Bucky snapped out of his tranced and frowned. “Doc, come on. I shouldn’t be seeing you til Thursday.”

“Yeah tomorrow,” she nodded with a smile. “I want to try something different.”

The next day but he showed up at their usual time, 11 AM. When he stopped at a reception to ask for Dr. Y/n they informed him she was out for the day. He frowned and turned to leave only to find her approaching him from the elevator.

“Hey! You ready to go?” Y/n offered a gentle smile.

“I thought we were-“ he asked went fo point back toward her office but she stopped him.

“We are. We’re just doing things differently today.” She informed him, before nodding her head toward the elevator. “Let’s go.”

Their day together was eventful to say the least. Their first stop was her favorite coffee spot. It was actually a little hole in the wall called Hippies Brew in the downtown area. A cool modern place full of friendly and eccentric individuals. It was comfortable. Homey. It wasnt one she’d typically recommend clients, but she would recommend it to friends. After that they were too the aquarium followed by the park where they sat on a park bench for lunch. Lunch being tacos from the El Gordo’s taco truck parked near by. Well a lot of the time at the park or spit in silence, it was still comfortable as a people watched together. While Bucky hated to admit it, this is the first time he really just felt at peace. There was no one looking over him with some unrealistic expectation of him to be Steve, and become so hero he wasn’t. There was no pressure to get his shit together right then and there. He was just simply allowed to be Bucky. Unapologetically.

“Walk with me?” He asked.

Y/n raised an eyebrow, surprised he initiated doing something together, but agreed with a smile.

Soon enough they easily fell into conversation of as they began to walk the lake.

Before they knew it, the sun was beginning to set. Their time together lasted longer than Y/n planned but either was it was nice. She enjoyed today, as did he. Bucky’s offered to walk her back to her car, savoring their last few moments together.

“Are you sure I can’t give you a ride home?” Y/n asked as they got closer to her car in the now empty lot.

“Yeah, Doc, lm sure.” He smiled back at her, her smile and laugh being infectious. “I like walking. It gives me time to think. it’s peaceful. Kind of like today.”

Y/n’s smile widened at his confession. So her idea did work. He was making progress.

“ That’s what you deserve James peace. I can’t promise every day is gonna be like this.” She turned away approaching the driver side door. “I mean, it is life there are going to be some bad days. But you do deserve some peace. Some happiness.

She turned to see that he was a lot closer than she thought saying that he was preparing to open the door for her. She swallowed, suddenly feel in the air around them shift. As she ran her tongue over her lips, Bucky’s eyes zeroed in on the action.

“You just have to let yourself have it.” She said softly.

It was in that exact moment where James decided he was going to do just that; let himself have happiness. And without thinking, he leaned forward and connected his lips with her.

He pulled away almost as soon as it happened eyes wide.

“James…” y/n finger tips traced her lips as she stared at him.

“I am, i, I don’t know-“ Bucky stuttered.

He went to take a step back but was stopped. This time it was her who initiated the kiss.

What started off as gentle, turned into her fisting a handful of his shirt put him closer with his hands wrapped around her waist. The heat that washed over them both, was like a moth to a flame. The passion poured into the kiss from both ends quickly consuming them both. The two fighting for a dominance, it wasn’t until they both harshly pushed against her car setting the alarm off that they snapped out of it.

“Oh my God. I’m so sorry wh-“ Y/n’s eyes were wide as she looked around anxiously.

Bucky could sense her panicking.

“y/n-“

“ I am so sorry. That was highly inappropriate of me-“

“Breathe for me doll-“ he reached for her but she pulled her hand away shaking her head vigorously.

“I can’t, we can’t, I have never.” She took a deep breath, her next words still coming out shaky. “I’m so sorry. To take a vantage of you like that-“

“I was the one who-“ he attempted once more to no avail.

“I have to go. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” She rushed out, flinging her door open and getting in the car.

All Bucky could do was watch as she wasted no time peeling out of the parking lot.

That was the last he had seen or heard of her. It had been almost two weeks and she had canceled both his weekly sessions and hadn’t answered any of his calls or returned any of the messages he left both at the office and on her cell phone.

And boy, was he stressed about it.

He had never felt that kind of passion before. To be honest it was something he didn’t think he was capable of feeling. He had been consumed by anger for so long, he wanted to cling onto whatever else, anything else. Bucky would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t feel the chemistry between them. He came to the conclusion he’d been falling for her for a while, and was clearly in denial until that day they spent the day together. It’s not like he was trying to fall for his therapist. But now that he had...Ge had to at least try. Make sure what he was feeling wasn’t one sided.That spark. It was a feeling, a high he had never felt. One he knew he’d forever be chasing and he wanted it again and again and again. So when the third week approached he decided to take matters into his own hands.

A knock her door tore her away from Grey’s Anatomy.

“Coming!”

Pulling her dress down, she went and answered the door.

“Bucky.” She said his name breathlessly.

“Y/n.” He breathed out, happy to be in her presence even though it hurt slightly to hear her suddenly calling him Bucky.

He quite liked when she called him James. He liked the way she said his name.

“What are you-, how.” She tried to control her breathing. “You can’t be here.”

“I need you,” he signed. “To hear me out.”

“Bucky-“

“James.” He corrected her. “Look, I know this totally inappropriate but I-“

James paused taking in her appearance, noticing the purple bruising around her lower right eye above her cheekbone.

“Who?” He questioned through gritted teeth.

“Huh?”

He huffed pushing past her and moving in and around the apartment as if someone would come out and confess. He turned toward her a wild look in his eye.

“Give me. A name, Y/n.”

“James....” she signed.

While he knew she was talking seeing as her lips were moving, It was like he could hear her but he wasn’t hearing her. Bucky couldn’t focus on anything other than a bruise on the side of Y/n’s beautiful face. It had been along time since Bucky had thought of actually hurting somebody, save for John Walker last week which was another story entirely, whoever did this to her face though, he wanted to hurt them bad and he was going to enjoy it. His eyes traveled down toward her lips and he still couldn’t hear her. All he could hear was his fist repeated smashing into said individuals face. Over, and over, over-

“James!”

The sound of her voice finally resonated and he finally focused on her words.

“Come back to me James.” Her voice was gently. Inviting.

Everything he noticed both her hands on the side of his face, her thumb rubbing soothingly.

“It’s fine.” She said slowly removing her hands away as she explained. “There’s no need to hunt anyone down. Just a regular 50150 patient and things got out of hand. It happens.”

“No one should touch you.” He stated with seriousness.

Y/n stared at him for a moment, the right side of her lip pulled between her teeth, eyes pooling with something he hadn’t seen in her before. She shrugged nonchalantly.

“I kind of like it when you touch me.”

Her voice was barely above a whisper but he heard her loud and clear.

Just like before, it started off with light kisses, which soon turned into a bit of teasing, a little lip nipping, before things got extremely heated. Both his shirt had been discarded while the straps of her dress were pulled down revealing her black Savage Fenty bra. They had somehow moved from the living room to the kitchen island. Bucky stood between her legs one hand tangled in her braids while her hands held the sides of her face, gently caressing the stubble. Her legs were wrapped around his middles as she began grinding her hips into him. He pulled her closer, the both of them on a high from the friction. Bucky’s metal hand traveled up her bare back giving her goosebumps. They broke apart for air and as soon as Y/n had enough oxygen in her lungs, she went back to licking, kissing and sucking on his neck.

"Shit, Y/n.” Bucky unconsciously tilted his head back giving her better access, his hands palming her ass as his hips bucked into her.

"James." Y/n pulled back panting, lips swollen. " I want you. Now."

Bucky made quick work of removing her panties that coated in her juices , and in return y/n quickly unbuckled his pants using her feet to aid her in pushing them down.

“Shit.” He groaned immediately as she whimpered slightly at the feel of him sliding into her.

Her arms were wound around his neck while his hand gripped the top of her ass to keep her in place as he begin to slowly thrust in and out of her.

Bucky was on a high. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this level of intimacy. Euphoria. He was sure this feeling should be illegal.

The way she were wrapped around him, he knew if he didn’t take it semi slow he wasn’t going to last.

“James,” she moaned, clawing at his back, walls clenching.

He wasn’t sure what sounded sweeter; her moaning or his name leaving her lips.

“Doll?” He responded, kissing the at the base of her neck.

I’m clos-“ Y/n sucked in a breath of air. “Right there.”

“There?” He asked spreading her ass cheeks apart so he could go deeper.

“Yes! Right there!”

It was a bit sloppy from there as Bucky shifted for a better angle. Her ass halfway off the table as he picked up the pace bit her her closer to the edge. He was bouncing her up and down on his shaft effortlessly. Her arms wrapped right around his neck, kiss sloppy as she bit her lip to keep her moans at bay.

“No,” he breathed out, reaching up with one hand forcing her to kissing him, her moans filling his mouth instead. “I want to hear you.”

“James, I’m-“

“I know.”

The sight of Y/n coming undone before him was a glorious one . He couldn’t wait to make her cum again.

Once she came down from her orgasm, she placed her lips back on his, tightening her legs around him once more. He shifted their position a bit and begin again when suddenly the front door opened and in walked Sam.

“Oh shit!” Bucky pulled out of her and struggled to pull up his pants and turned to shield her half naked frame.

“Sam!” Y/n squealed pulling her dress up to her chest as best she could.

“What in the entire fuck!” Sam screamed while covering his eyes.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Y/n yelled.

“You told me toy were off!”

“I’m am off!”

“Well I thought I’d bring you dinner! I didn’t know id find this!” Sam said exasperatedly.

Y/n and Bucky were decent informing Sam he no longer had to cover his eyes. Immediately he pointed an accusatory finger at Bucky.

“You! What the fuck did I tell you about my sister?”

Bucky stared at him confused.

“You said not to flirt with your sister.” He repeated Sam’s words. “Sarah’s not..”

He then turned toward Y/n, things finally clicking.

“You’re Sam’s sister.” Bucky concluded.

“Baby sister.” Sam. added.

“I’m grown as hell Samuel!” Y/n fussed.

“Really bruh, my baby sister?!”

“Well how i suppose to know you only refer to her as baby!”

“Once again! I’m grown as fuck-“ she stopped hearing the front door creek open again.

“Who’s that?!” The woman’s eyes were wide with horror as she whispered.

“The boys!” Sam exclaimed in a whisper.

“Why didn’t you say they were here-“ she began frantically washing her hands.

“I’m sorry I was a little fuckin preoccupied with the fact my sister is fucking an assassin-

“Former assassin!” Bucky corrected.

“Hey TT!” Sarah’s boys greeted simultaneously with smiles as they bent the corner.

“Hey my babies!” Y/n instantly put a smile on her face pulling them each into her arms.

“Hey Bucky!” Cass waved

“Hey Bucky!” AJ addressed the solider as well before turning back toward his brother, “Cass , come on.”

“Wait let me put the pizza on the counter-“

“No!” The three adults exclaimed together.

“No boo, I’ll take it.” Y/n smiled again at her nephew taking the pizza.

“why don’t yall go in the living room and get the game set up?” Sam suggested.

“Yes! Let’s take the pizza in there while they bleach the kitchen?” Y/n hinted at the men while telling the kids to follow her.

“Oh yeah! TT, Uncle Sam got us two new video games!”,AJ informed her. “He also said we can watch a scary movie tonight since moms not here.

“Yeah! Andddd, he said we can door dash ice cream!” Cass added as the two kids followed their aunt into the living room.

Though he was silent, throughout the entire interaction but he couldn’t help but want you living room interact with the two kids. Back in the day, if you would’ve asked him if he believed in love at first site he would’ve said no. But he was pretty sure he was in love with Y/n already.

Once out of sight, Bucky took that opportunity to speak after a beat.

“Have I ever told you I’m glad you treat your nephew’s so well, Sam?” He asked after clearing his throat.

Sam sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah? Why’s that?” Bucky turned to him with a huge grin on his face.

“Cuz I’m gonna give you another one.”

Slowly Sam began to laugh, albeit one full of sarcasm, Bucky joined in sincerely. They laughed together for a moment before Sam ceased, his face expressionless.

“Bucky?”

“Yeah Sam?”

“I’m going to kill you.”

[jungwonlvrr]

DEAR DRACO MALFOY

Pairings: Draco x Female Reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: no warnings

Y/n: your name

Y/b/n: your girl best friends name

Y/h/n: your house name

Summary: y/n send letters to Draco but the more letters she sends, the less oblivious she gets of her feelings for him.

———————————————————

Dear The Slytherin Prince,

Hey! It’s your best friend, Y/n. You told me you really liked y/b/n. I’m sorry I ran away without giving you an answer. I talked with her and she likes you too! That’s crazy isn’t it? She wants you to meet her in the astronomy tower after classes.

Your best friend, Y/n

———————————————————

Dear My Best Friend,

I heard you two got together. You guys would make a cute couple. I’m quite worried you’re going to leave me for her. But you wouldn’t would you? You promised. Today, I rode buckbeat with the twins, It was quite fun. Bummer you didn’t tag along lol.

Your Favorite y/h/n, Y/n.

———————————————————

Dear Draco Alfredo,

I see you showed y/b/n our secret hiding spot. That place was only suppose to be between you and I but it’s okay. You two are the couple so I can’t fight and get mad lol. It’s just a bummer because it’s not so secret for you and I anymore. Today, you skipped classes, it’s not out do the ordinary for you to do so but Y/b/n skipped classs also and she never skips. I assume you two met up in our the secret hide out.

Your best wingwoman, Y/n

———————————————————

Dear Draco,

It’s been two weeks since I last sent you a letter. I was busy. And two weeks since our hiding spot became yours and y/b/n’s hiding spot. That place feels not special anymore so I stopped going there. I’m glad you’re still speaking to me though! I just miss our adventures. We should go on a adventure soon!

Your best friend, Y/n

———————————————————

Dear The Slytherin Barbie,

Hey! You told me we would go on our adventures, I was really happy until you brought her along. Don’t get it wrong, I’m happy for you both! I just missed the me and you times, it barely happens nowadays. You’re too caught up with Y/b/n to spend time with your best friend. It makes me upset.

Your best friend, Y/n.

———————————————————

Dear The one and only Draco,

Thanks for getting me soup today, I didn’t feel so well and you realized that. I guess we still have our best friend telepathy hahah. You’re missing out on action though, last night the twins set up fireworks in the forest! I know right, crazy isn’t it. It’s kind of weird experiencing fun things without you around, I’m too use to being around you haha. I also heard you gave Y/b/n the bracelet I made you, I was kind of, maybe really upset. I put a lot of thought into that bracelet.

Your one and only, Y/n.

———————————————————

Dear Draco Tomato,

It’s been a month since I last sent you a letter, I was busying studying for the exams. I don’t even know why I keep writing to you when I could just talk to you. I guess I don’t have the confidence to talk to you anymore since you seemed to be really busy with your girlfriend. You don’t even reply back so it’s embarrassing sometimes but I know you read them, Goyle told me. He just told me you didn’t have the time to reply which is compeletly fine with me! Your girlfriend must have found that soft side of yours quick, you two are so PDA now , it feels so weird since you’re not normally affectionate.

Your best friend, Y/n.

———————————————————

Dear Draco,

The more I watch you and your girlfriend do your things, the more I realize I have this heavy feeling in my heart that makes me really sad. Honestly, I think it’s just the anxiety I have stored up for the upcoming exams. A day alone with you could definitely cool it down.

Y/n

———————————————————

Dear Draco Malfoy,

Why are you ignoring me? Did I do something to upset you? I’m really sorry if I did! What can I do to make it up for you? Oh yeah, I’ll buy you your favorite, chocolate frogs! You better forgive me, I’m paying for this lol.

From you know, Y/n

———————————————————

Dear The Slytherin,

I hope you enjoyed the chocolate frogs! You talked to today which made me expectionally happy. I get so happy when me and you have a conversation, it could be the smallest and my day will be brightened!how do you do these things?

Your Best friend, Y/n

———————————————————

Dear Draco Draco Draco,

You’re ignoring me again. That hurts you know. It makes me really upset, giving me a empty feeling in my heart. I miss my best friend. You can’t do this to me.

Your best friend, Y/n

———————————————————

Dear Draco,

Stop ignoring me. You’re acting as if I don’t exist anymore! What did I do wrong? It’s been 3 weeks of this constant ignoring. It really hurts, Malfoy. You don’t know how many tears are being spent of your stupidness. I’m your best friend! Don’t you remember? Please don’t forget me. I know you’re reading this, Draco. Please reply, I miss you.

Your still best friend, Y/n

———————————————————

Dear Malfoy,

Today, you told me you didn’t want to be friends with anymore. I’m confused, I didn’t do anything wrong. It was so sudden, I didn’t expect this ending for us, I mean sure you were being an ass and ignoring me but I thought you were just being Draco. I’m too numb to cry right now. I miss you, kiddo.

Your ex best friend, Y/n.

__________________________________

Dear Malfoy,

I heard Y/b/n was the reason you didn’t want to be friends anymore. I don’t know why I even called her my girl best friend. She stabbed me in the back, she knew how much you meant to me. I guess you were my only real friend and I lost that too. You were a real friend until you started dating her, pathetic isn’t it?.

Your ex best friend, Y/n.

———————————————————

Dear Draco Malfoy,

I don’t even know why I continue to send you letters as if we are on good terms. I really want to be on good terms but you clearly don’t want that. Today I also found out from Crabbe that you threw away that chocolate frog I have bought for you. That hurt deeply. It feels like actual knives are being carved into my heart, every single day. When I see you, I feel so at home and I just want to hug you and cry while calling you mean.

Your ex best friend, Y/n.

———————————————————

Dear Draco,

It’s been 2 months, I know I shouldn’t call you by your first name anymore but I miss you. I’m not mad at you anymore, I just want my best friend back. Why did things have to turn out this way? You’re really happy with you girlfriend, I can tell. You never smiled that big with me. I keep holding onto us like we are going to come back to each other.

Your ex best friend, Y/n,

———————————————————

Dear Malfoy,

I know you’re still reading these. Maybe to make fun of me, I don’t know anymore. But recently I found something out. It’s quite a shock to me. I’m in love with you, Malfoy. The way I feel for you isn’t a normal way to feel for a friend, I’m in love. Only love makes you this crazy, Professer Mcgonnal told me. I think she’s referring to me sending letters almost everyday, expecting a good outcome. I’m too deep in love with you, from the way you talk to the way you move, from the way your blond hair falls into your forehead, from the way your grey eyes wander the rooms, from the way your voice called out my name so naturally, from the way you use to hug me and hum on my bad days, from the way you took me sledding and from the way your lips curved into a perfect smile. I fell in love with you and your personality, ignoring your toxic traits. For I wasn’t enough, what we had wasn’t enough that you chose her over me. Oh what you do for love.

Your secret lover, Y/n.

———————————————————

Dear Malfoy,

Your girlfriend found my letter and her and her gang beat me up for it. She doesn’t understand. I would never try to sabotage your relationship with her. I just wanted to express my feelings, clearly I can’t even do that. Maybe it was wrong for me to give you a love confession but I wasnt trying to get you to be with me. She wants me to never send letters to you again, but she doesn’t have to know I’m sending this letter. You’re still my best friend in my heart, Draco.

Your ex best friend, Y/n.

———————————————————

Dear Draco Malfoy,

Hey, it’s been a couple of months. I hope you’re doing well. I finally come to my closure. I’m moving on from this chapter of heartbreak and misery. You were a chapter in my life, a really really big and important one, but I was just a page in yours. I guess all good things come to an end eventually. I’m getting happier and I’m finally moving on from you. Of course I still love you! You’re still my best friend in my heart like I said. But it’s over now. I’m accepting that. You’re still with her, after all this time. I’m really happy for you both, really!

Y/n

———————————————————

Dear Draco,

You looked awful for the past week. Are you doing okay? I know I said I’ve moved on but I can still send letters to check up on you, you still matter to me. Y/b/n seemed to not care that you looked emotionally tired. She just kept going on about her drama. It makes me sad, you deserve someone who will listen to you like how you listen to her. I can tell you love her a lot.

Y/n

———————————————————

Dear Draco,

It’s been about a month. I found someone! I’ve officially moved on. Don’t be sad lol, as if you would. His name is Neville Longbottom. I think you know him. He’s really sweet and I don’t deserve him one bit. He bought me my favorite candies yesterday, it made me heart feel so soft and warm inside. He’s adorable. He makes me really happy, I hope you find that soon since Y/b/n isn’t doing a good job at that, lol.

Y/n

———————————————————

Dear Draco,

I heard what happened, She cheated. Of course she would. I mean I didn’t expect it but it’s not a surprise either. She honestly really did like you at the beginning of your relationship with her, I don’t know what happened. You’re still welcomed to come back to this chapter of my life, I’ll gladly accept my best friend back. Just no more romantic feelings included. Just the old me and you. Oh yeah, about me and Neville, he’s really a sweetheart, i think I’m in love. He makes me feel a way you didn’t. Like I’m loved and special.

Y/n

———————————————————

Dear Draco,

So we’re friends again. I’m glad. I missed you kiddo. I’m glad I’m getting my best friend back. Let’s make a plan and meet up and catch up. Wouldn’t that sound lovely?

————————————

Dear Draco,

It’s been a week of catching up and our best friend connection came back quickly. Your ex isn’t very happy about you and I becoming friends again but it doesn’t matter.

Y/n

———————————————————

Dear Y/n,

Yes I’ve read all your letters. They’re really sweet and I’m now realizing how much you cared. It’s been about a year now and I’m rereading your letters. You’re my best friend still, and we’re still like two peas in a pod. I’m happy for you and Neville. Happy late one year to you two though. He seems to the perfect one for you, I can see the love in both of your eyes. Maybe I’m selfish for saying this but I wish I were Neville. I wasted my love on someone who wasn’t worth it when I had someone right in front of me who loved me better and more than Y/b/n ever would. You’re still the same prankster I grew up with. I’m really sorry I broke you badly last year. I really am sorry. I never did want to stop being your friend, I loved you (as a friend ofc) but she made me choose between her and you and my foolishness was too blinded by love to realize what I was throwing away. Also, I did eat the chocolate frog you got me, don’t be sad lol. I fallen in love with you through the year we’ve tried again. Maybe I was always in love with you, maybe I just didn’t know and went for your then best friend. When I found out you were in love with me, I felt these waves of emotions come over me. I was happy but sad but confused. I’m sorry I let y/b/n hands onto that letter, you didn’t deserve what those girls did to you. So to my best friend. I’m in love with you. It’s my turn for this one sided love but it’s unfair that your one sided story with me is worse than mine since I know you wouldn’t leave me for anything. I’m really happy for you and Neville. But I watch your eyes as he walks by, what a sight for sore eyes, brighter than a blue sky. he’s got you mesmerized while I die.

[sukirichi]

i accidentally deleted my message before sdfhsdf so here’s my second attempt at writing this: chapter 3 through sunarin's POV was SO GOOD OMG lowkey happy that suna feels guilty for what he’s doing and only now realises it, how yn makes suna second guess his statements and love for yn has me at the NECK sksksks

the way you wrote suna and iris together was amazing tbh i love it but the fact that she is the enemy makes me resents them even more now i hate it BUT IF YN DIDNT EXIST they would have been a power couple tbh jealous of what rin sees in iris ARGH “What kind of love would it be if he did not go through hell and back for her—over and over again” THIS makes me soooo single omg, i do feel bad for iris (if yn wasn’t around) that she wasnt getting attention from kiyoomi but it still feels so wrong that suna went after his brother’s wife , keen to see more of iris’s back story and what she is hiding too hmmm

the twins are a menace omg and KITA OMG AHHH the way he stood up against suna for what he is doing that was kinda hot, but kite in love with with a maid thouuuuuu OGMGG we need a side story on them (heart eyes) forbidden lovers omg CUTE and the audacity suna telling kita that what he was doing wrong when suna himself was cheating yn the whole time SMH makes me wanna a slap a bitch, “Mine may be scandalous, but yours is disappointing.” GOD THAT HURT (it should be the other way around thou) #protectprincekita the way they all feel that yn might know of the affair but suna doesnt think so makes me LAUGH like JUST WAIT BRO she’s gonna make things bad and make you regret it in the end #bringoutbadassyn i just wanna see what all her years of training has done lolol

just waiting more kiyoomi interactions and rin’s downfall with whatever is planned next hehe

alsoooo do the princes, yn and the wives have specific fashion attires? i know its in the modern era so they wouldnt be walking around in royal olden age attire haha, hope you have a good day :)))

- 🌺 anon

OMG HIBISCUS ANON, HI! aww thank you so much I’m happy to hear you thought it was good sobs. whoa whoa okay, rintaro and iris power couple… I can definitely see it. like in all honesty, I would not have despised iris so much if she didn’t agree with manipulating YN, because she’s a nice girl placed in an unfortunate situation of marrying somebody she didn’t love. she’s hurting from that, and she can’t be with the one she loves. it’s not her fault her circumstances are not going her way, but her agreeing to rintaro’s plan was just not it. it’s not right.

(for clarification from ch3 context: iris told rintaro a long time ago they would never work out because of the royal family laws and customs – she was ready to let him go since he was never hers, but rintaro insisted with a plan to make iris his. and iris eventually went along with it.)

“What kind of love would it be if he did not go through hell and back for her—over and over again” – I fucking hate Suna but he sure is romantic /lh. he is devoted like wow. and hmm yes yes, we’ll see Iris’ backstory in the future chapters! I think her backstory would actually be one of my favorite scenes to write, but it won’t be an in-depth backstory with like a longggg history. but it is enough to deliver a shock factor! (I hope)

THE TWINS ARE A MENACE, YES. I love playing around with their characters here, because they’re actually very interesting princes. GASP actually I’ve been thinking of making like a one shot side stories of the Princes and their love interests just so we can see them hehehe because I love Kita and Airi with my whole heart. In the original version of DTD, Kita and Airi showed up a lot, but I’m not gonna put that in the new series so I might just make a mini collection of the Princes and their partners! they are super super cute like Kita x Airi is so wholesome. I love them.

“Mine may be scandalous, but yours is disappointing.” I’m telling you, Rintaro is gonna do and say anything to defend himself sobs. also hmm fashion attires, yeah! I’ll probably make like a closet feature of them soon but Maiko loves wearing flowy sundresses paired with those pretty hats that kind of just…sit on her head. idk what you call those hats but the ones we mostly see people wearing on the beach? YEAH THAT ONE. yellow is Maiko’s color, and Iris has a color palette of teal and white. she often wears skirt-suits and kitten heels! for YN, she dresses the most formally out of all them. she’s often wearing lace gloves and high collared dresses/blouses. she really likes clothes that covers her neck because it helps her to look forward and point her chin higher, to really give off that confident posture expected of her.

have a good day too, anon!! thank you for taking the time to send me this ask <33

[sweatydelusionpaper]

Welp i guess my theory of osaragi being in love with miko chan has gone down the drain. It was good while it lasted. Lets all keep a 2 min silence for its ( way too soon) demise.

Now to 232. This chapter really helped in elevating osaragi's character in my mind. It definitely erased all the doubts i had about her previously. I also liked how her disdain for miko didnt start over petty jealousy, but moreso when she felt as if miko wasnt treating ishigami the proper way.

Also u cant help but feel bad for her. Like this beench really did back off when she felt that miko and ishi had potential to be a good couple and even seemed lowkey satisfied with it.

Now the incident, i dont know how much osaragi was aware of what actually happened. But since she is weirdly aware of everything else, i am just gonna assume that she knew that ishigami wasnt actually stalking ootomo. But the important part is that miko didnt know the whole truth. Yet she decided to go and ask ishigami, when everybody else just straight up assumed that he was the culprit. Miko still wanted to see things from his perspective.

Her leaving him after the conversation isnt a sign that she believed he was in the wrong. She was probably just hurt when ishigami said it was none of her buisness. And as we saw in chapter 231, miko does tend to pull up an cold exterior when shes hurt like that. Like when she told osaragi that she didnt mind and called off their friendship. When in reality she obviously did and was probably really hurt.

Another thing is that miko did believe ishigami. As much as we have seen of her character till now, miko is all about justice, she wants to make the world a better place and would always stand up for what is right. And moreover she didnt even have any romantic feelings for ishigami at the moment, didnt know about how he had been secretly helping her, had an argument with him, didnt know the truth about the incident and yet stood up for him infront of the principal. Tell me why would miko, a girl so obsessed with justice and truth, would protest for an alleged stalker. Why? Well the answer is that miko believed him. Despite having no reason to do so ,She stood by his side.

So it did bother me when osaragi said that miko didnt deserve to have ishigami by her side now because she wasnt with him when he needed her. It bothered me because miko was by his side and osaragi was there when miko was protesting for him. Just like ishigami helped her secretly she did it too, they have both been by each others side. The only thing is that they arent aware of it. And osaragi despite knowing the truth, saying that miko didnt help him really irked me.

But i guess it makes sense now why she dislikes miko and doesnt specfically want her to be with ishigami. Also why she was so obsessed with getting ishigami and tsubame together. So overall a pweety good chapter.