#it would have been nice to show Jin without the mask

[stillness-in-green]

It's nice art, and there are things I like in it (Spinaraki Nation winning again; Monoma my beloved), but my god is it disingenuous.

Alongside what Nal already mentioned, I'd also point to the presence of Midnight and Sir Nighteye, equally happy, equally unchanging and unaging, as the League. Like, is this a Happy End Future Picture or isn't it? I think you absolutely could argue that the reason Spinner and Mr. are in their old League outfits here is because they were executed by the state sometime during the timeskip, so they get to stay on the same page as the rest of their team.

I'm not surprised or even really disappointed at the lack of non-League Villains - that's been deeply standard for these celebratory end-of-series group spreads for at least the last few years now - though it is certainly annoying that the art is full of the most incidental fucking jobbers you could possibly imagine (Starhead guy! Dr. Yoshi! Movie OCs! The fucking poodle heroine!) but can't be bothered to scrape up a single non-League Villain who didn't end the series allied with Heroes.

But the one that really sticks in my craw is Overhaul. Literally the only non-redeemed Villain who ended the series alive and with something resembling a Hope Spot in his reunion with Pops, and even they can't manage to make it to this art? Really?? No MLA, none of the rest of the Hassaikai, none of the Tartarus escapees or USJ/training camp attackers or street Villains, I expected all that. But not even Overhaul and Pops? A duo who you could absolutely get away with illustrating as not having attained perfect bliss (quite a few characters in the spread have neutral, ambiguous, or fraught expressions!), but nonetheless still alive and a part of the world, still with people who care about them.

That screaming absence really is how you can tell that Nal is 100% correct that the existence of Villains is inconvenient to BNHA's oh-so-happy ending. And so we get fallacious nonsense like this: the Villains the story wanted readers to care about get to be included, happy and together but definitely not interacting with any of the Heroes who were invested in their well-being, and definitely not depicted from the same eight-years-later perspective as the surviving happy Heroes! But happy, at least, so their fans can look at them and get some vicarious happiness and ideally not stop to think too hard about the implications of e.g. Spinner in his League outfit walking together with Shigaraki and his long-dead dog.

And the Villains the story doesn't want readers to care about? Even though those Villains were far, far more likely to end the story safe and alive, even if not happy? Well, they just get erased from the narrative entirely, forgotten and abandoned by the author just as surely as they were by the noble Heroes.

Honestly, if Horikoshi is going to keep doing these big mega-spreads to commemorate the series, I wish he'd do one of just the Villains. Then maybe we could actually get to see characters like Magne, Mustard, the Eight Bullets, and the MLA again, to say nothing of the Sludge Villain, Muscular and Moonfish, the Tartarus escapees, Cider House and other such street Villains, and even the movie Villains if we're going to get to be consistent with the big Hero spreads!

Might segregating Villains and Heroes into different spreads undermine the themes of reaching out across the Hero and Villain divide to try and save Villains? Sure, but it can't possibly do that any worse than the series itself did, to say nothing of these art spreads and data books and the like that, over and over again, hype up how very many characters will be included, only to prove, over and over again, that only the people the Heroes cared about get to be included.

Time to be a killjoy!

Apparently it's a smosgaboard of characters in their '8 years later' design.

Except for the Villains. (Well, the ones who did not grovel for the light and redeemed themselves by fighting in the war for the Heroes.)

The League is there, on the left side, all unaged. Makes sense for the ones who are dead. But Spinner or Compress, who lived, they are not considered part of this future that everyone else is. No 8-years-later design for them. Why would you? That would be so depressing.

My first thought was actually that Spinner and Compress were dead too - execution? health? taking their own life? - so they get to be unaging.

The villains are just SO inconvenient for the ending the story wants. Because this is a world, 8 years later, that needs no villains, wants no reminder of them, and wishes they stay in the past.

(…despite the themes of saving. Get saved, dies. Don't get saved, you live… but I guess you never get a chance to be saved again. And so you're in tartarus 2.0 never to come out)

I like Mon-chan, but something was bugging me about the dog when this image first came out. And I realized, oh! Because it means it's okay! Shigaraki gets Mon-chan back. The rest of it don't matter. Easy shortcut to make readers think 'happy end'/'what if!' and add some levity to the Villains' end—8 years later when they're either all dead for years, or not worth considering alive and changed and aged in this new, better society.

[yoonmetogether]

chapter 1. play nice

pairing: bodyguard!Yoongi x CEO!fem reader - brother/mob boss!Jin, brother/mob boss!Jeongguk genre: mafia, e2l, sloooooow burn, age gap summary: As you and your brothers finalize the plans for the next chapter in the family business, you end up discovering things that you didn't expect. And upon meeting the man assigned to guard your life, you think the universe must really have it out for you. And you don't like it. Not one bit. warnings: angst, arranged marriage, drug addiction/rehab, family drama, parental loss, age gap, alcohol, smoking, mentions of speed racing, crime, drugs and weapons trading, night terrors, ptsd, guns, reader has a knife (and an attitude), character death minors pls dni wc: 19k buckle up, folks!!!

masterlist

You make a mocking face at your phone, specifically the social media app that shoves pictures in your face of your university friends opening up their architecture firm that you were meant to be a part of. Good for them, you think sourly to yourself. You would be happier if you were there with them, before your dreams and plans to settle down in one place were foiled.

It’s been almost a year since they were, right before you finished up your second to last semester of grad school when your brother called to tell you that your father had died.

Your father, who never looked you in the eye. Your father, who you spent too much of your childhood vying for his attention, especially as a teenager, around the time he started to pay more attention to Jeongguk. Like when you purposely flunked classes, hoping he’d care enough to yell at you to do better, only for Jin to show up to teacher meetings in sunglasses and a mask but the disappointment wasn’t hidden underneath. Or when you went around shoplifting with your friends and got caught by mall security, wishing he’d be the one to show up and get you out of trouble. But yet again, Jin came in another disguise, and the disappointment was the same. He knew what you were doing, but didn’t have the heart to tell you it wasn’t worth it, because your father would never care. He barely acknowledged your existence.

So, at the news of his passing, you felt nothing. That was until you realized that it meant everything would fall on your brothers’ shoulders. And suddenly, you became a part of the very thing Jin worked so hard to keep you away from. Your duty and prospects became that of carrying out your father’s legacy. Before you knew it, you were set to be engaged to the son of a casino owner, so that you would take over the casino in the city your brothers ran, streets filled with crime and money fueled by Crow blood.

Kim blood. Dirty blood. Your blood. 

Over the summer, you finished up your last semester, rushed through six classes in order to complete all of your credits. You honestly don’t know how you pulled it off. Three weeks before you were scheduled to graduate, Jin called, bearing the bad news that Jeongguk had relapsed and was back in rehab, so you needed to come home right away. You didn’t get to walk the stage. And you certainly couldn’t give the school an address to send your diploma to. So everything was lost in the wind.

Jeongguk was still in rehab by the time you got a ring shoved on your finger. None of your friends know about the engagement. Granted, none of them can even be invited to the wedding. You can’t even tell them where you’re living now.

You probably will never speak to them again.

Locking your phone and dropping it in your lap, you sigh dramatically as you look out the window at the cloudy weather, the rain that pours on the windshield, the thunder that rumbles from above. It’s been cloudy a lot lately. Or maybe the gloom that’s been sitting in your chest ever since you got engaged has made everything around you seem dull and gray. Even your house is decorated without color, thanks to your minimalist fiancé who has no taste for style. He thinks as long as things are expensive, they’re worth having even if it’s all fucking ugly. Your fiancé didn’t care for your opinion when he picked out the house and furniture, despite the fact that you just graduated with a minor in architecture.

You’re just glad he picked a spot in the woods, right outside of the city.

You’ve always had a talent for decorating, handing it off to the fact that you’ve moved so many times throughout your life, having to buy new furniture since you couldn’t drag it everywhere you went. You became the queen of thrifting. As long as you had your keyboard, favorite posters and plushies, you were good. You took care to make your place your home, a reflection of you and your interests in order to keep you grounded, help you feel like you belonged somewhere, even though you never stayed in one place for too long. Jin preferred it that way, felt it was safer. But it meant you couldn’t have normal friendships or relationships because they wouldn’t keep in touch if you dropped out halfway through the year to transfer to a university in an entirely different place, sometimes a country. It was very destabilizing, and it made things equally lonely, and your brother tried to make up for it by wiring you substantial amounts of money for you to use freely, but responsibly.

You never touched that money. Because how could you as a college student, who worked part-time, low wage jobs, explain the luxuries that your brother’s money could afford? The money that could pay for a few hundred thousand parking lots of the most expensive and rare cars, at least five cities worth of houses, maybe even feed a small country, much less your tuition and rent. No, you would get by on your own. Sometimes you found yourself at a poker table, often dabbling in an underground gambling ring because that’s where you could make the most of your money. (You couldn’t bring yourself to go to a casino. It would make you think of Jungkook and how much he was struggling). Who would expect a young girl who looked like she got lost on her way to a club to be any good at placing bets? It’s not your fault you grew up around brothers and friends who taught you how to play cards, molding you to have phenomenal skills in seeing through people and their tells, that they gave themselves away through their eyes. You learned how to pull off the perfect poker face, faking being naive and innocent, got them to fall in your trap and leaving them in shock when you walked away with fat wads of cash in your pocket. You guess that made you a hypocrite.

But there were times when you ran out of money and had to choose between paying a light bill or buying groceries, and you found yourself considering withdrawing from those offshore bank accounts, but you knew once you started, you wouldn’t stop. So, you would end up eating the best meals of your life in a dark and cold apartment, sitting alone with the guilt of knowing your brothers would be hurt to think you were ashamed of them.

That guilt still lingers, especially now that you’re riding in a tinted SUV, lavish seats and custom interiors, materials and technology not found in cars of the average citizen. You're well out of the bounds of average by now. You don’t feel like you belong even though your brothers are in the exact same boat.

“Is everything alright?” Mr. Han asks from the driver’s seat.

“Yeah, just..." you sigh, each breath you take doing the opposite of calming the anxiety racing in your veins. "I was supposed to be managing this architecture firm with my uni friends by now, working on biophilic design that connects spaces with nature and all that.”

You hope you're hiding your bitterness better than you think, remembering how excited you’d been to finally do something you were passionate about and how quickly the ball was dropped on that.

"That sounds interesting. Maybe you can incorporate some of that at the casino when you’re doing the renovations."

"Mm. But I don't know if my future father-in-law would be down to have a bunch of plants and windows all over the place."

Mr. Han laughs. "Well, if you're the one in charge once you’re married, I don't see why not."

You smile, grateful for his support, but you know as a female CEO among a board of directors and investors that are majority men, you will only get so much leeway. But you'll have to make do with what you have. You’re an expert at this point.

"You've done a good thing by coming back to your brothers now that things are complicated."

"I just... I don’t know if I can do it. Y’know. The other part."

That part being the real reason you're getting involved at the Stay Gold casino: to take care of business that belongs to your family. Not just supervising the renovations, or overseeing the slot games, blackjack and roulette tables, but keeping a tight chokehold on the money that flows in and out of all that gambling. Money that serves as a front to what you'll be taking care of behind the scenes. Essentially, you'll be a loan shark. And that's what's been keeping you up at night, knowing what comes with ensuring certain associates make their payments in timely fashions, especially if they're buying protection. At least you’ll be putting your business degree to use.

"You are just as smart and tough as your brothers, if not more. You'll be able to handle it, I have no doubts, Miss Jeon."

But I’m not like them, is what you want to say, but shouldn’t because it would be a lie.

"Thanks, Mr. Han. And you know you can call me Angel.”

"Of course. I'm always here if you need anything."

And you know he means it but it's a small comfort. Mr. Han has been your brothers’ driver for as long as you can remember, always so kind and considerate, making you wonder how a man like him ended up in a job like this. When you found out you were going to have to be chauffeured around, you weren’t exactly ecstatic because you love to drive, love the freedom that comes with it, but you figured with Mr. Han, it wouldn’t be so bad.

The SUV drives through an underground tunnel, leading into a narrow road surrounded by a forest that takes you to the gated driveway of your brothers’ extravagant mansion. Mr. Han cracks open the window to speak with the armed guard who then waves to someone you can’t see and the iron-gates buzz open. The tires slowly rumble over the cobblestone, past the grand and meticulously landscaped lawn with many guards littering the property, up to the roundabout in front of the house where there's a tall, sharp-jawed, and suited guard waiting for you. Yeong, the (devastatingly handsome) man who’s been assigned to escort you whenever you show up to meet with your brothers. He opens the door and greets you politely as another guard appears from the back of the car. This one doesn’t say anything as you get out, and you’re glad because you’ve never seen him before and you don’t like interacting with any of your brothers’ men whom you haven’t met. You remind yourself and your constricting throat that these men work for your family, and you’re safer with them around than not. But still. You hate being followed and made to feel like you can’t go anywhere by yourself.

Before you can make it to the porch, your brother enthusiastically swings open one of the large double doors, quickly beckoning you in and shutting the door. As you step in and shuck off your shoes, you notice the indiscreet way he gives your outfit a onceover, like he’s never seen you in sweats before.

“Well, you didn’t have to get all dressed up just for us.” You glare at him, lifting your middle finger.

“Shut up, Jin. Just because you sleep in your suits.”

“That’s Jinnie to you,” he says through puckered lips, squishing your cheeks. “C’mere.”

He pulls you into a strong embrace that you weakly pretend to fight off.

“Missed ya, birdie.” Taking your coat, he kisses the top of your head, and you mumble similar sentiments into his chest with a small smile that quickly turns into a scowl when he roughly rubs his knuckles into your hair.

You push him away and scurry towards the dining room, stomach growling at the wonderful smells emanating from the kitchen. If there’s one thing you’ve missed now that you’ve moved out (again), it’s Jin’s cooking. Your brothers too of course, but that’s a given.

Jeongguk is there sitting in his spot, to the left of the head of the table, already eating. It looks like today is one of his good days, and you find yourself smiling. He's eating his food and not just picking at it, the bags under his eyes aren't as prominent, and his hands are steadier than usual.

"Hey, loser. You couldn’t wait for me?" you say to Jeongguk as you sit across from him. 

“You’re late,” he mumbles, mouth full of food, glancing at you as he chews. “Is that why you look like shit?”

“Funny, ‘cuz I dressed up like you today.” You stick your tongue out at his glare, becoming distracted when you notice something at the corner of his bottom lip.

“What is- oh that’s a stud. I thought it was a big ass zit.”

“Piss off.” He waves your hand away when you tease poking at the metal ball.

You live for bullying your brother, even though he’s two years older than you. He was pretty mean to you as a kid, so this is just payback. Sure you were annoying, but what are little sisters for? At the end of the day, you know he’s your ride or die, just like you are for him.

“It’s cute. What’s next, a tongue piercing?”

“I draw the line at tongue piercings,” Jin intervenes, calling out from the kitchen. Him and his supersonic hearing. You snicker and Jeongguk just rolls his eyes.

“Any new tats?”

He shows you the additions to his full sleeve and you marvel over the designs that he created, asking the inspiration or story behind each one, always fascinated by his talent. You have a knack for drawing yourself - you wouldn’t have the passion for architecture without it - but it’s never been on the same level as Jeongguk's. Dude can paint museum-worthy landscapes and portraits within an hour. He’s annoying like that.

When you’re done examining his arm, you sit back in your chair, snatching a morsel of his food on the way and he grabs your wrist in an attempt to stop you but instead stares at your sleeve.

“Wait, this is my jersey,” he says, ignoring the way you fight to wrestle out of his grip. “I’ve been looking for this!”

“So what? It looks better on me.” You rip your arm away and you’re already halfway out of your chair just as your brother lunges over the table to grab at the jacket. You spring up and out of the dining room, a shrill laugh escaping when you look back to see Jungkook dashing after you.

You may have grown up with him, thrown loads of rounds in boxing gloves with him, even gotten him into a headlock once or twice, but now he’s built like a bus, and he could bulldoze you down in two seconds flat with no regrets. And it makes you want to scream your head off. 

Sprinting into the living room, you clamber over the back of the couch, knowing Jin would kill you if he saw you with both feet on the cushions, but you’re much more worried about Jeongguk closing in on you.

“Go away!” you shriek when he leaps over the couch with ease, like he’s a damn gold medalist in Living Room Olympics.

“Give me my jacket!”

“I’ve had this for like three months, how are you just now missing it?” You point out as you attempt to use the coffee table as a barricade.

“I told you to stop stealing my clothes.”

“It’s only because you have such a cool style.”

He pauses to look at you like he won’t fall for your bullshit compliment. You take this lapse as an opportunity to make a run for it into the kitchen where Jin is filling a carafe of water with fresh-cut berries, rushing to hide behind him at the counter like you used to do as a kid. Jin acts unbothered, barely noticing the way you’re gripping the back of his sweater like a lifeline, only looking over his shoulder when you make a noise as Jeongguk jogs towards you.

“Cheater.”

"Yah, come on, you two," Jin admonishes as Jeongguk tries to grab you, making you hurry to Jin’s right, holding his bicep as if his big guns will protect you.

"He started it."

"Did not!" Jeongguk exclaims, and you childishly stick your tongue out at him. 

“Give your brother his jacket,” Jin says in a parental tone.

“But I like it.” Turning around, your oldest brother levels you with a look that mirrors the one Jeongguk gave you a few minutes ago and you know not to argue anymore, begrudgingly shrugging off the jersey and throwing it at your brother who catches it with a victorious smile.

“Come on, kids, let’s go eat,” Jin says as he picks up the carafe and three glasses.

Both hands on your back, Jeongguk pushes you and you stumble forward.

“Ow, don’t push me. Jinnie!”

“Big baby," Jungkook mumbles through his teeth.

“Big bitch," you fire back.

Jin clicks his tongue and mutters something under his breath, something about how is it that he has two siblings in their mid-20s who still act like children. And it is pretty interesting, considering you and Jeongguk are about to assume control of the fucking mafia. But it’s been years since you’ve played around with your brother, and now that he’s about to take over for Jin, who knows if you’ll ever be able to do this again. The thought creates a bit of a hole in your heart, like digging a grave for something that isn’t gone yet.

Once Jin turns his back, leading the way into the dining room, you and Jeongguk exchange various gestures that all silently mean “fuck you.” Jin shoots a knowing glare over his shoulder that makes you both hide your offensive hands behind your backs, forcing yourselves not to laugh.

“Are you two ever going to grow up?”

“No,” you both answer simultaneously. Jin huffs and looks between you two with a shake of his head.

“Sit down and eat before the food that I put my blood, sweat, and tears into gets cold.”

You and Jeongguk share an eyeroll at Jin’s drama, digging in so he won’t start some dramatic monologue about cooking.

"So, how are you doing?" Jin asks you a few minutes into the meal.

"Fine," you shrug, too focused on the food to give a more complex answer.

"You’re all settled in at the house?"

“Mhmm,” you hum indifferently, feeling your appetite slowly start to slip away. You were hoping you could have a nice, normal night with your brothers, pretending that you aren’t dreading going back to the house, to a fiancé you know next to nothing about and all of the work and unpacked boxes you have waiting in your wing of that big ass, bland ass house.

“How are you two getting along?” Internally sighing, your shoulders deflate.

“He’s not horrible, I guess. But he’s just… I don’t know. Boring. And lame. He thinks his tattoos make him look cool.” You glance at Jeongguk and gesture to his sleeve.

“Which is something the two of you have in common.” Jeongguk's lip curls and he points his chopsticks at you and flinches. You blow him a kiss in return that you change to a middle finger.

“He also acts like he’s never been to the grocery store. And I very seriously doubt he can tie his own shoes. His butler does pretty much everything for him.” Just the word ‘butler’ makes you want to throw up, not to mention the fact that you’re about to marry a guy who needs one.

“But things are going okay?” Jin asks just as you shove more food in your mouth. Can’t a girl just eat?

“What is this, twenty questions?”

“I’m just checking in.”

“Okay, but can we not do this right now? Please.” You ignore the way your brothers share a look.

“If things aren’t going well, you need to tell us.”

“Things are going as well as they can for an arranged marriage. We might live on opposite ends of the house, but we’re cordial. You’re not really expecting me to actually like this whole situation, right?” Jin regards you carefully.

“No, but you do need to make sure it all works out.”

Suddenly, you've completely lost your appetite. You scowl and drop your silverware, sitting back in your chair with your arms crossed, refusing to look at them both staring at you.

“God, Jin. I agreed to marry him, didn’t I? Picked up my entire fucking life to come back here and help out even though you promised-” You point harshly at Jin who looks at you with a small frown as his fingers rub on the edge of a napkin. You know it’s not his fault but damn, it hurts that he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

“That I would never have to do that. What more do you want? An heir or something?”

They both wince. “No, of course not.”

“Then lay off my ass about it. I’m fine, okay? Don’t be a helicopter.”

“Birdie, I just want to make sure he’s treating you right.”

“What does it matter? I’m stuck with him either way. Besides, I can take care of myself.”

“Of course you can. I’m only-” But you don’t want to hear anymore. With a grimace, you pick up your plate of unfinished food, scoot back your chair and stand up to head into the kitchen.

Jin leans forward with a heavy sigh, steepling his fingers, resting his forehead against them and closing his eyes.

"Way to go, hyung," you hear Jeongguk mumble as you storm out of the dining room.

Stewing, you put away your leftovers and start to clean up the counters, knowing you’re the one being dramatic now but you can’t help it. This is supposed to be your safeplace, here with your brothers, especially since time with all three of you together is running out. Right now, you want to forget about all your responsibilities, all the things you have to step up to that you never imagined doing, and you wish your brothers would just go along with it. But they’re more realistic than you, it seems.

You hear dishes clink in the dining room, and soon you’re joined by your brothers, all silently working to clean up the kitchen. You pay no mind to their attempts at getting you to lighten up by nudging your shoulders, flicking water in your direction, and taking over the dish scrubbing, and it isn’t until Jin shoves a glass of sparkling cider in your hands just as you try to make an escape to the living room do you lose your resolve.

“I’m sorry, kiddo. I didn’t mean to upset you,” Jin says as he and Jeongguk corral you towards the couch.

You huff, fingers rolling on the stem of the glass, swirling the red content inside, and sit on the plush cushion, your brothers on either side of you.

“I’m not. Just- I can’t remember the last time all three of us have been in one place and I don't want to talk about any outside stuff. I just want to pretend that things are how they used to be. Because what if-” A lump forms in your throat.

“What if this is actually the last time?” Jin reaches forward and grabs your hand, a serious line knitted through his eyebrows.

“It won’t be. I promise.”

“You’ve always told us to never make promises.”

“Well, I made the rules so I can change them. I am going to come back,” he says, squeezing your hand. “I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but-”

“You know something’s starting right now? Okay, Ariel,” Jeongguk cuts in, grinning when you snort and Jin shoots him a scowl, leaning over to roughly ruffle his hair. You laugh at Jeongguk's dirty scowl when he thinks Jin just messed up his hair and Jin tries to fix it but ends up making it worse and a small hand-slapping fight ensues. This is what you’ll miss. This dynamic, where no matter how hard you all try, you can never be serious.

“Do you think we can go on a trip?” you ask out of the blue, casted by a nostalgic wave longing for memories that make you feel normal.

“Y'know, to the cabin? Just for a couple of days.” Jin smiles, but it’s small. Jeongguk doesn’t look at either of you.

Ever since you can remember, any spare time Jin had, he whisked you and Jeongguk away to a cabin somewhere in the mountains, never going to the same spot twice. You waited for the days that Jin would show up at the boarding school, make up some excuse to get you both out and drive up to a forest where he would let you both run wild. In the woods was where you learned how to ride your bike and climb a tree, legs swinging from a branch with Jin standing underneath you, arms held out like you’d fall any second. You were too busy yelling at Jeongguk to stop throwing sticks and leaves at you from a few branches above. A cool summer sunset by a river was where you caught your first fish that Jeongguk ended up chasing you around with for a good five minutes. You screamed at the top of your lungs, Jeongguk cackled maniacally, and Jin did his best not to laugh, only grabbing the fish out of his brother’s hands once you began to run around him like a maypole. Later, you got your revenge by shoving the chopped fish head in his face after Jin started cooking. Jeongguk cried all throughout dinner and, in your stubbornness, you refused to apologize so Jin made you hold hands for the remainder of the night until one of you caved.

As you got older and Jin got busier, he would allow you to make plans with your friends to go to a cabin in a discreet location, whether that was in the woods or by the beach. You loved your friends, but you always found yourself missing Jin, wishing he was there to cook and make lame dad jokes, play guitar by a fire he started and act out ridiculous stories until you and Jeongguk were rolling on the ground with stomachs that ached from laughing so much.

It wasn’t until you were much older that you realized those trips to the cabin were the only times the three of you spent together where Jin wasn’t constantly looking over his shoulder. Sometimes though, he wouldn’t speak for a while, a blank yet morose energy surrounding him that he could only shake himself out of if you and Jeongguk poked and prodded him enough. In the woods, he never wore a mask or sunglasses or a variety of hats like he did when he came to pick you up from school. Later down the line, Jeongguk had to do that too and that’s when everything started to change. You could no longer see each other unless the location and meeting times were planned in advance, and there were always some men in suits, sunglasses, and dark coats with wires hanging out of their ears accompanying you.

A year after Jeongguk graduated from secondary school was when things fell apart. Jin made you promise to never speak about either of them to anyone, and helped you come up with a pseudonym. By the time he shipped you off to study abroad once you started university, you never used your real name and neither did they. From then on, you only spoke to your brothers on the phone, one that you had to pick up at a convenience store and dispose of once you were done. The calls were typically short - Jin asking if you were doing well in school, if you ate enough, had enough money. You rarely spoke with Jeongguk, as he spent a lot of time going in and out of rehab, and when he wasn’t doing that, he was learning the family business with Jin. You missed him, your partner in crime, and you wished you could take him with you, keep him away from your father so maybe he could have a chance at healing, but that wasn’t in the cards. Jin explained time and time again, that this was how things had to be. He may have raised both of you, been the reason you were alive and thriving, but he had no control over the circumstances at home. You couldn’t go back, he wouldn’t let you, and for a while, you thought you’d never see your brothers again.

Now you just want to go to the cabin to cling onto the past, of how things used to be, because you know nothing will ever again be the same.

"We can't, birdie. I'm sorry. I have to leave in a few days." And just like that, the wave crashes onto shores of despair.

“What? You said you had until next month.”

Your brothers share another look, another tell that they’ve been keeping you out of the loop of something.

“I do, but I think it’s best to leave earlier so it won’t be glaringly obvious that I got tipped on my arrest warrant.”

“Yeah, probably,” you agree dejectedly. “It was just hard not being home all this time, so I wanted us to hang out. I guess I like you guys or something. Weird, right?”

“Totally. ‘Cause we hate you,” Jeongguk teases. You scoff and grab a pillow to whack him with over Jin’s head. Jin laughs and lets you get in a few hits before tugging the throw out of your hand, whacking the side of your head, and tossing it on the other end of the couch out of reach.

Silence sits between you for a few moments until Jeongguk stands, tugs you up on your feet, and shoves his phone into your hands.

He tries to teach you dance moves from Tik Tok trends, laughing a little too hard when you mess up, and Jin ultimately has to break up a small wrestling match. After you finish filming one video that will forever sit in drafts, Jin gets out the game console and wipes the floor with you and Jungkook on Super Mario. He brags loudly, enticing you both to tackle him, but despite your conjoined efforts, he somehow gets you and Jeongguk into simultaneous headlocks, not letting go until you profess that he’s the unmatched master of Mario.

Jeongguk then puts on his favorite movie, to which you and Jin stifle groans as you’re made to watch Iron Man for what has to be the millionth time. He just claps giddily when the Avengers theme song blares through the speakers and neither of you can deny this small happiness. It’s good to see him smile. But throughout the movie, you shoot him small glances out of your periphery when you notice him biting his nails and you know he’s zoned out, and that it’s not a good place where his mind wandered off to. You gently grab his hand and push it down, and he goes to cross his arms like he’s ashamed, but you keep hold of his hand, folding them together and resting them between you. Giving your palm a squeeze, he offers you a tiny smile and goes back to fully engage with the movie.

When the credits roll, you tease Jin for immediately yawning and stretching as he announces he’s turning in. You ask Jeongguk if he’s up for a game of Overwatch that he starts up without a word and passes you a console.

After a few minutes of playing, Jin emerges from the kitchen with a couple bowls of snacks and bottles of your favorite drinks that he sets down in front of you on the carpet. You both thank him in unison without taking your attention off the game and he huffs an endeared laugh.

“Don’t stay up too late,” Jin murmurs from behind you both, ruffling your hair. “Crazy kids.”

“Night, grandpa,” you smirk, laughing when Jin pushes your head.

He goes upstairs and leaves you to play the game. But every now and then, you glance over to Jeongguk, wanting to check in on him. It’s been a minute since you've had a one-on-one.

“You look like you’re doing good.”

“I’m trying,” he mumbles a bit stiffly, eyes unmoving from the screen, and you take in his tense expression.

“That’s all that matters, bro.” You lightly punch his bicep, and he playfully tips sideways. “You know you can talk to me anytime.”

“Yeah.” It doesn’t seem like he wants to, at least not about certain things, but you need him to know that of all the things that are changing, the fact that you’re his kid sister who he can lean on will stay the same.

“I wish I had been home more often,” you say tentatively. “I know Jin couldn’t always be around.”

He shrugs, nose scrunching. “S’alright, I wasn’t alone. D was there.”

You’ve heard about D. How he had Jeongguk’s back in a jail fight a few years ago when your brother had a habit of lashing out and starting fights to prove he was tough. Which he was but that didn’t matter if he was outnumbered. When he was booked for a DUI (riding on his motorcycle half-drunk like a dummy) and forced to go through withdrawal, it increased his violent tendencies. After accusing a burly man twice his size for looking at him the wrong way, he found himself getting beat up on by three grown felons in the middle of the yard. He would’ve ended up with a cracked skull if it wasn’t for D. And from then on, he became your brother’s guardian angel of sorts and eventually began working for them.

“You’ll meet him tomorrow at dinner.” You hum, mildly disinterested.

Joy. Spending an evening with your brothers’ capos and guards is just how you wanted to enjoy your last weekend with the both of them. Not.

“And, um, we workout at the boxing club every Friday. Maybe you could join us.”

You look over at him incredulously. There was a time when your brother acted like you tagging along with his friends was a punishment worse than hell.

“You mean you want me to box with you?” He shrugs.

“Gotta make sure you can still fight.”

You roll your eyes. Of course you can still fight. You’ve just been able to get out of precarious situations before you had the need to throw hands. For the most part. That’s the difference between you and your brother - he goes looking for trouble while you do your best to avoid it. But neither of you will be backed into a corner and made to stay there. You won’t go down easy.

“So you down?”

“I won’t be getting in the way of boy time with D?” Smiling, he shakes his head.

“Nah. But you could stand to learn a thing or two from him; he’s a damn good fighter.”

“Better than you?”

“No one’s better than me,” he smirks.

“I guess I’ll have to see for myself.” He chuckles and fakes a slow punch on the side of your head.

“You still have that knife I gave you a few years ago?” You think for a moment. Right before you went abroad for college, Jeongguk gave you the blade he carried with him everywhere, one that was sheathed in your favorite color and had a strap attached to it. You cherish it, but you’ve never had to use it. But you figure that’s about to change.

“Oh, yeah, it’s somewhere. I didn’t have a lot of time to really organize when I was packing. Why?”

“You should keep it on you from now on. Just in case.” 

“You mean you’re not gonna be around to protect me, big brother?” you tease. He shoots you a little smile but when his eyes focus back on the screen, you notice him squint and nibble on his bottom lip for a second. You can’t help the feeling that he’s keeping something to himself.

“Not always.” 

You frown. There was a small comfort in thinking that you could rely on him when for years you’ve been apart, but now as new circumstances arise, you don’t know if you’ll be able to see each other as much as you want to. Definitely not enough to make up for lost time.

Just as you’re about to tell him not to worry because you’re a big girl, more of an assurance to yourself, he clears his throat to change the subject again.

“D is really cool, I think you’ll like him.” You offer a mostly sincere smile, thinking to yourself that it sounds as if your brother is trying to sell you on D’s character. You don’t think you’ll care much for it, since he’s Jeongguk's security and all and you won’t be interacting with him much. But you’ll try if it means something to your brother.

“If he’s anything like you, then I doubt it.” His head snaps in your direction and in a fraction of a second, his arm hooks around your neck and pulls you into him, forcing your face into his shoulder so you can’t see a thing.

You fight your way out of his headlock, exclaiming when you notice that he’s beating your ass on the game, and lean on your elbow to press your foot on his cheek in an attempt to distract him, but he only laughs. You complain and cuss him out as he starts winning and reach over to wrestle the controller out of his hands. As you tussle loudly, Jin’s upstairs bedroom door opens and he calls down the hall,

“Keep it down! I need my beauty sleep!”

“You sure do!” Jeongguk shouts back, sending you both in a fit of giggles when you hear his door slam shut loudly in response. You come to a truce, if only to save yourselves from facing a grumpy Jin in the morning.

You play and talk into the wee hours of the sunrise, until you slump next to each other and pass out, bellies full and faces covered with evidence of Jin’s snacks that you demolished.

The sky is a gray-blue hue when you’re stirred by your brother talking in his sleep and his incoherent mumbling makes you coo. But just as you go to cover him up with a blanket, he yells out nonsensically, leg kicking over a near empty bottle and sending the rest of the contents into the carpet. His arm shoots up into the air and panic begins to set in when he thrashes around on the floor. After getting the dishes and consoles out of the way, you run up the stairs to Jin’s room, barging in without knocking so you can quickly wake him up. Shaking his shoulder, you stutter out his name and he groans upon being disturbed.

“God, what-”

“He’s having a night terror.” Without a second missed, Jin flings himself out of bed and races out of his room and down the stairs, with you following close behind.

Once back in the living room, Jin rushes to Jeongguk's side, who’s now flailing his limbs and shouting but still fast asleep. You watch as your oldest brother gets on his knees, not hesitating to grab Jeongguk's arms, pin them to his abdomen so he can pull him up and against his chest, all while calling his name to try and wake him. His eyes fly open with a gasp and his body reacts violently against Jin’s who almost ends up with an elbow in the chin. But Jin is an expert at handling Jeongguk's episodes, and he knows just what to do to keep them both safe while he gets him to calm down.

“Shh, bunny,” Jin hushes as Jeongguk's body fights him, rubbing his chest and shoulders to soothe. “It’s okay. I’m here, your sister’s here, you’re alright.”

There are visible tears streaming down your brother’s face and you have to sit on the step and cover your mouth with your hand to stop yourself from crying. It hurts so fucking bad to see him this way. It’s been years since the last time you’ve witnessed this, but you know he’s had many in between that Jin has been around for.

“Birdie,” Jin calls to you softly above Jeongguk's sobs. “Go up to my bathroom and get out the lock box that’s under the sink. His medicine’s in there. Grab my wallet too, on the dresser.”

With a solemn nod, you stand and turn around as Jeongguk slings an arm over Jin’s shoulder to hide in his neck, and your foot freezes mid-step when you hear him loudly wail again and Jin hushes him, rubs his back, and you hurry up the stairs again to grab what you hope will let him get some rest, some escape, some peace. You come back down with the lockbox and wallet to find Jin sitting on the couch, Jeongguk curled up under a blanket with his head in Jin’s lap, chest heaving as he lays on his side. You approach them slowly, and Jin quietly instructs you to get out a small key from his wallet to open the lockbox, which carries Jeongguk's medicine that helps with his anxiety and parasomnia. You head into the kitchen to grab a glass of water while Jin encourages Jeongguk to sit up and by the time you return, he seems to be breathing a little easier. After he drinks down a pill, he lays back down and you hope he’ll be able to sleep without another disruption.

You and Jin watch him for a few moments, and when it finally seems that he’s settled, you share a collective sigh of relief. But still, you’re worried. It scares you to see him that way.

“When was the last time this happened?” Jin looks so tired as he tries not to frown.

“More frequently now that you’re back home. I thought he’d do better with you around but. He feels bad that you’re doing this. He thinks if it weren’t for him and everything that happened, you could’ve stayed abroad and made a life for yourself.”

It’s true. You would never say it to their faces, but it is the truth.

“But… then I would never see you guys again.” Your throat tightens. 

“And now that you’re leaving,” you sniff, tears threatening to prick your waterline. “I don’t want him to be alone.”

In the dim light, Jin beckons you over, soft affection in his eyes, and you squeeze in between him and the end of the couch. He wraps an arm around your shoulder and kisses the top of your head.

“You’re a good kid, birdie. Even though I never wanted this for you, for either of you, I feel better knowing that you’re going to look out for each other.”

“Me too, Jinnie.”

He pats your arm and you sit quietly for a few minutes with your head on his shoulder, starting to feel sleepy again, safe and assured by Jin’s embrace. Jeongguk is snoring now, the meds must’ve kicked in. He won’t talk about this in the morning, and neither of you will ask him to.

"And, about Jay,” your eyes blink open at his gentle tone. “I was thinking maybe what we can do is send him out on business trips so he's not around as much.”

You smile, arm curling around his thick bicep. “Thanks, Jinnie.”

“Just play nice, okay? It’ll all work out.”

You nod, too tired to let that potential burden add to your stress. Pretending to be completely fine with the engagement is the least of your worries right now.

The venue that Jin chose to host the small get-together of you and his men sits on the private top floor of one of the many skyscrapers he owns that you’ve had dreams of designing. Yeong walks at a comfortable distance behind you, quiet but gentlemanly. Stoic, which seems to be a uniform demeanor among your brothers’ men, one Jin expects you to replicate. That’s really your father’s expectation, but he’s gone. You would find it difficult to respect him anyway.

Striding into the dining hall, you pay no mind to all of his henchmen in the room, only giving focus to the one who stands out among them all, and not just because of his looming height and broad shoulders. Nor are you intimidated by the commandeering authority that follows him wherever he goes.

“Jin!” you call, making all heads turn to you but you act as if no one but your brother is here. He twists to face you with that shining smile of his that’s reserved for a select few.

When you walk over to the table, air hazy with cigar smoke, liquor, and low conversation, you keep your expression polite despite the heat that spreads through your cheeks when all eyes fall on you. Yeong is close behind and reaches out for a chair once you approach the head of the table, greeting your brother who stands up from his proverbial throne to welcome you.

“Hey, sis. You look nice,” he says warmly, leaning in to welcome you into your seat and you smile, thanking Yeong who pushes in your chair once you sit. Just as you do, Jin leans in to whisper in your ear,

“You’ve got to get used to not using real names here, Angel.” Pulling away, you cringe and mouth your apology that he dismisses with a singular nod.

“Uh, where’s bro? He always gives me shit for being late.” Jin smiles as he sits back down.

“He’s on his way. He was at the gym with D.”

You nod and take a look around the room, noticing that you’re the only woman. Since your brother is here, you’re not worried, but it does feel suffocating. Is this how it’s always going to be from now on?

“How you doin’, Angel,” a deep voice says on your right, and your demeanor brightens when you glance over to see Namjoon pulling out the chair next to you.

“Oh, hey, Moon! Aren’t you sick of me by now?” You tease as he sits down, heart blipping at the beautiful smile on his face. You’ve been working with him these past couple of months, Namjoon preparing and training you for your role at the casino. Extremely intelligent and well-versed, he’s not your brother’s right-hand man for no reason. He knows all of the Crow’s business dealings like the back of his hand, and you feel confident having someone like him to guide you. That paired with his easy-going and wholesome persona, and the fact that you could chat with him about books and music for hours, you can’t deny your itty bitty crush on him. If only you weren’t engaged and he didn’t have a girlfriend. At least one of you is in a happy relationship.

“Of you? Never.” You ignore the mild warmth in your cheeks and playfully nudge him with your elbow. Damn him and his natural charisma.

“So, are you ready for next week?” Ugh. You don’t like the anchor of dread that wrenches in your gut at the thought of finally becoming an official member of the family business.

“No,” you mumble because there’s no reason to lie to Namjoon.

“Oh, come on. Yes, you are.” Your palms start to sweat and you put the menu down so as to not ruin it.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready,” you say quietly, stealing a glance at Jin to make sure he’s not listening, glad he’s too busy accepting a top-off on his drink.

“You have a mentor as amazing and smart as me, you’re more than ready.” You roll your eyes at his cheeky grin.

“You’ve been hanging around Jin too much,” you mutter and he laughs.

“Well, just know that no matter what, I’ll be right there with you so you don’t have to worry.” That fact makes you breathe a little easier, but there’s still a layer of anxiety underneath your skin.

Just then, a slender, vaguely familiar man walks in and heads straight for Jin who does a double take, immediately holding out a welcoming handshake that lingers a little too long once the man accepts.

“Who’s that?”

“Jung,” Namjoon answers with a single glance. You hold up your menu to hide your face as you whisper,

“Agent Jung?” He nods and turns his cheek to utter another reminder.

“Just be careful where you say that.”

Right. You never know who could be listening, so it’s probably not a good idea to mention the man’s real identity in all this. The CID agent posing as an informant, but really he’s in cahoots with your brothers, covering up their dirty tracks with the occasional bribe of public officials.

“He goes by Hope, but close friends call him Hobi. You could probably get away with calling him that.”

“What’s he doing here?” You can’t help but watch closely the way your brother engages with Hope. His body language is rigid and fidgety, like he’s nervous, but his eyes are soft and wide. Small indications that there’s definitely something going on between the two of them and you’re excited to gossip about it with Jeongguk. Because you know all too well how good Jin is at lying.

“Well, your brother wanted you both to be acquainted because the feds might take an interest in you once you take over the casino. He’ll come back to work undercover again if that happens.”

You still as realization takes over, muscles in your face hardening as your heart does a somersault.

“Is that the big secret?”

“What?”

“They’ve been keeping something from me.”

“Um, I’m- I don’t know,” he says in an uneven cadence, and, looking over at him, you notice a slight purse of his lips and realize he’s a terrible liar.

You just got here, but you already need a breather. The cigar smoke isn’t helping either, so you excuse yourself to the bathroom to get some fresh air.

As you rise, Yeong habitually appears next to you, but you place a soft hand on his shoulder, shaking your head to tell him it’s not necessary to escort you out. You internally scream when he looks over at your brother, as if needing his permission to let you go without accompaniment. Jin waves two fingers with a nod, silently dismissing Yeong’s duty and you try not to let that small interaction visibly bother you as you turn away from the table.

The bathroom is empty, thank god, but now you just feel isolated. Especially when you pull out your phone, eager to call up one of your friends and vent, but even if they might pick up despite being on another part of the hemisphere, there’s no way you could tell them anything.

You blink and a face you haven’t seen in a long time spawns in the forefront of your mind, heart sinking when you know he would be the one to call at a time like this but you haven’t spoken to him in years. Not since he had a falling out with your brother and left town shortly after without a word, breaking your heart because you thought you were more important to him than that. But you understood why he left the way he did. You just sometimes wish he could’ve taken you with him.

With no one to call and nowhere else to go, you finish up in the bathroom with a deep breath and a practiced smile in the mirror, rolling your eyes at yourself and heading for the door with a sigh at how fake you look. 

When you emerge, your attention is buried in your phone, and you end up bumping into someone in the hallway.

“Oh, sorry,” you blurt, two hands hovering on your shoulders when you stumble back from being caught off guard. You don’t look up right away, gauging from the black fitted suit and long trench coat that this is one of your brother’s men. 

“No, my fault,” he says and the gravelly timbre in his voice tickles a part of your brain. Normally you’re good at reading people, sometimes from just their aura, but there’s something about him that you can’t quite place. So you keep your head down.

“Excuse me, ma’am.”

Ma’am? Yeah, he definitely works for your brothers. Everyone who knows who they are, calls them ‘boss’ or ‘sir’ and as their sister, you deserve the same title and respect that comes with it. Another thing you’ll have to get used to. But it still fills you with an odd feeling that you don’t really like, and you excuse yourself, not waiting for him to step out of the way so you can head back to the dining room. As you pass him, you catch the earthy musk of his cologne mixed with underlying traces of spice and something smoothe and it makes you involuntarily look over your shoulder to see what kind of man wears such a scent, only to find that he’s not there. He disappeared just as quietly as he’d approached.

Back in the room, you smile upon seeing Jeongguk sitting to the right of your brother, and you can’t help but go up behind him, playfully smack the back of his head with your clutch, and sit beside him like nothing happened.

“You took my seat,” you say, feeling his glare on you.

“Children,” Jin grits through a smile just as Jeongguk opens his mouth to argue. “Let’s not do this in front of company.”

Jeongguk huffs in annoyance and opts to kick your leg under the table, and you hold back a squeal, not daring to retaliate when Jin glares at the two of you over the brim of his glass.

As you turn your attention to the menu, you notice in your periphery Jeongguk looking over his shoulder, lifting his hand to someone behind him. When you look back as well, your heart palpitates at the sight of a striking, lithe man with black hair that reaches his neck, slicked behind his ears, and eyes hidden by tinted shades striding towards the table.

“Hey, D,” Jin says to the man as he steps up next to him. “Glad to see you.”

So, this is the infamous D.

“Boss,” he acknowledges, and turns to Jeongguk to tap his bicep with the back of his hand. “Sorry I brought him late.”

“No worries, you’re just in time to order. Take a seat.” D nods and you watch him slightly lift his chin over Jeongguk's head, no doubt taking a glance at you that lasts a mere second before moving to walk behind your brother and consequently you. Time seems to freeze as he starts to pass by, and although you can’t see his eyes, you feel them lock on you, and your heart does gymnastics before stopping completely.

No way. No fucking way. The man who stands above you can’t be the same man who you shared a night with, years ago. A night that creeps back into your memory after you think you’ve forgotten. And a face that haunts your dreams and makes you miss something you never really had. At least, not long enough to count for something.

As he passes, you catch the smell of the cologne that matches exactly to the scent of the man you bumped into in the hallway. Nausea creeps up from the pit of your stomach and you quickly look away, but to your absolute horror, your brother stops him right beside you.

“Oh, D. Meet our sister, Angel.” On your right, he swivels on his heel and your breath catches in your throat when he tips towards you in a respectful bow.

“Good to meet you.” He holds out his hand adorned with thick silver rings to offer a kind greeting, but it only makes you more sick. You want nothing more than to ignore his offering, but you know you can’t purposely be rude, especially not in front of Jin. You have to be polite to him, no matter how much it might kill you, because you can’t let your brothers catch onto something that shouldn’t be there. And after years of playing poker, you’ve learned how to perfect hiding how you really feel. For the most part.

So, swallowing your rage, you muster the courage to turn in your seat to face him, plastering on the fakest smile you can manage and reach out to grab his hand, breath catching in your lungs at the lightning you feel from his warm, soft but slightly calloused touch because you remember them so, so well.

Sometimes in your loneliest, darkest moments, you close your eyes and conjure up the memories of the way those hands once ran over every inch of your body, just like those lips, those eyes, and other parts of him that graced you and lit up your skin, sunk into your bones in a way that made you ache. And that ache lasted, in your heart, in your gut, in between your legs ever since that morning when you woke up expecting him to be next to you, only to find cold and empty sheets. Like he was never there. And you found yourself wishing you could rip out the ghost of his touch from beneath your skin, but it was permanently etched into every cell.

“Pleasure,” you say through a sickly-sweet smile, wishing you could see beyond his shades for any sign that he knows who you are, or if he’s just forgotten you. It has been three years after all. You catch a light, but noticeable scar slashed vertically on his right eye, partially hidden by his dark glasses. Your heart pangs when you don’t remember that being there the last time you saw him, but he hurt you, intensely, and now he’s acting like he doesn’t know you so fuck him.

The sight of that scar compels you to look down at his hand clasped in yours and, in a flash, turn it sideways so you can see the diagonal gash that starts at his knuckles and ends by his wrist, which you do remember. You let go of his hand as if it scalded you and turn your attention back to the table, your mind and pulse racing at this feeling of yet another situation being out of your control. You want to tell your brothers right now about everything, get him out of your life for good, but knowing what consequences he would face stops you. He’s lucky Jeongguk considers him a friend. Because otherwise, you’d have him thrown to the bottom of the Han river.

Jin calls for rounds of wine and whiskey as the group of men engage in small talk, and you appreciate your brothers who include you as much as possible. You hear conversations of Jin asking Namjoon how it’s going with your onboarding for the casino, and you do your best to contribute, but it’s hard to do it through the static going on in your head that you can’t quell, brought on by the man sitting across the table a few seats down, next to Hope who’s chatting his ear off. He has not looked your way once despite your many stolen and partially involuntary glances, only adding fire to the flame.

Two hours pass for everyone to finish off their meal, drinks, and conversation about work and other things that you tune out. Eventually, Jin starts to hint that he’s ready for the dinner to come to an end, and you sit quietly as he thanks his friends for coming. They all bid their goodbyes and most offer handshakes and arm taps as they wish him well. When they turn to go, Jin’s eyes linger on their backs until the next friend comes up.

As you wait for your brother to end the night for you as well, all who’s left is D, Moon and Hope, and they move closer to the head of the table once the rest of the room files out. A boulder settles in your gut when D sits directly across from you.

Those goddamn shades. You can’t even tell if he’s looking at you.

“Thank you all for staying after,” Jin says after he returns to his chair, knocking back the last of his drink. He gestures to the table but you speak before he can continue, pretending to check your manicure when Jin looks over, so he doesn't catch the way you were just staring down the man across from you.

“Isn’t it rude to wear sunglasses inside?” You ask your brother. “I thought you were all about respect.”

Jeongguk nudges you and whispers behind his hand, “Why are you being a dick?”

You don’t respond, acting as if you didn’t hear him. Because you can’t answer that. Jin sighs and there’s a subtle squint of his eyes at you before he gestures to the man beside him.

“D, if you wouldn’t mind.”

D says nothing (you want to scream that’s not his real name but you’re not sure if your brothers even know that) and raises his hands to remove the sunglasses, expression remaining blank. Once they’re folded and slipped into the inside pocket of his blazer, he finally lifts his bare gaze to you, scar on full display, and your heart slams in your chest. Because those eyes that seem to look right through you, are far too cold and vacant, void of everything that made you once believe you had a shot at something real.

Jin addresses you. “So, since you’re starting at the casino next week, I want to discuss security. I’m assigning you new detail.” You gawk at him with a puzzled expression. 

“What's wrong with the team there?”

“I'm talking about your personal guard." Your eyebrows furrow. So this is what your brothers have actually been hiding from you.

“Isn’t that Yeong’s job?”

“Around the clock? You’re joking.”

“He doesn’t have enough experience to handle your protection around the clock.”

“I’m not."

You huff and cross your arms. “And if I don’t agree?”

“That’s not an option.”

“Fine. Who did you hire to basically stalk me?”

“D will take on as your guard and driver.”

Ha. Haha. This isn’t real. What kind of joke is the universe playing on you? And why are you the punchline?

You turn to Jeongguk, eyes widening in panic. “Isn’t he your security?”

“Yes,” Jin answers instead. “But since you’re going to be dealing with the public and crews and potential feds at the casino, D has the knowledge and experience to help with everything, so he’s being reassigned to you.”

How can it be this fucking coincidental for the man who dug a crack into your soul, filled it with light, and crushed it when he left with no warning become the new head of your security? Complete and utter bullshit.

"Angel,” Jin mutters, urging you to say something.

“Fuck this,” you spit, eyes darting to the man you speak of to see if your words affect him but when he doesn’t give anything away it only makes you angrier.

“I’m not doing it.” You stand up to head for the door, but your brother's loud, bellowing voice puts a halt to your escape.

“Yes, you are. This is not a game; you don’t have a choice.”

Your head spins. It’s too much too fast. All of your control and independence is being ripped out right from under you, and you already feel weighed down by it. Seething, you glance between him and his men, and you don’t want it to look like you’re throwing a temper tantrum. You wonder if this is why your brothers chose to tell you here, in front of everyone, testing you to see if you’ll control yourself.

“I already can’t drive myself anymore, and your guards have to be up my ass when I come here. Yeong has to check in with you to make sure I’m allowed to go to the fucking bathroom alone, your dirty cop is gonna pretty much spy on me at work, and now you want this goon to follow me around everywhere?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Look, I know you don’t like it, but-”

“Meaning I have to be fucking babysat?” you spit with vitriol, and Jeongguk puts a hand on your elbow in an attempt to pull you down a notch now that Jin’s expression is contorting into one that shows he will not entertain this conversation for much longer as your brother. Being the boss in front of you has never been something he’s wanted you to see, but right now you’re pushing the limits. You don’t care, so you rip your arm out of Jeongguk’s grip who resigns with a sigh while you keep your fiery stare on your oldest brother where there’s a likeness in his own.

“But,” he continues sternly, glare on you growing harsher. “I don’t think you realize the calamity of the situation you’re about to be in and I have to take all the necessary precautions to ensure your safety.”

“Don’t speak to me that way, Angel.”

“Don’t treat me like I’m a little kid, Jinnie,” you sneer, using his nickname un-endearingly. 

“I told you about not using real names,” he booms, fist falling on the table. You don’t flinch.

“You’re one of us now, you need to start acting like it. And you’re going to start by listening to what I say and showing some respect. Otherwise, we’ll have to have an entirely different conversation, and I really don’t want us to go there.”

You’re not sure what he means by that, but you’d be stupid to fuck around and find out.

“As a woman in this business, you are much more vulnerable and at risk and it’s my responsibility to protect you. That’s just reality. So you need to have new security in place, especially by tomorrow. Am I being clear?”

You grind your teeth. “Yes.”

“Thank you.”

“Can I go home now?”

“I’m about to go over the plans for tomorrow. Sit down.”

“Please, I want to go home; I have a lot of things to do. You know I haven’t even unpacked everything yet? I’m practically sleeping in that office.”

You do your best to keep out any expletives, despite having many to fire off, so you don’t show more disrespect, but your mild lack of control has you muttering under your breath, “No thanks to you.”

Beside you, Jeongguk presses his hands together in front of his face like a prayer while Jin shakes his head, eyes closing, and rubs a hand over his forehead like you’re giving him a migraine.

“I’ll get you some help, I’ll get whatever you need. But right now, I need you to stay so we can talk everything out because shit is about to get real. Please sit down.”

You do so with extreme reluctance, the concoction of conflicted emotions swirling in your chest making it increasingly difficult to pay attention to any of what he says. As parts of your mind and body drift in and out of your subconscious, you’re startled out of a staring contest with the edge of the table by Jeongguk nudging your shoulder. Relaxing your jaw that was painfully clenched, you lift your head to notice that all eyes are on you, minus one particular pair.

“Sorry, what?”

Jin sighs and gestures to the other side of the table. “Hope was asking if you’d be willing to meet with him in a couple of weeks to check on any problems to report.”

“Sure, whatever. I mean, I don’t have a choice either way, right?” you mutter, throwing your brother's words back in his face. You feel his eyes burning a hole on the side of your face and you know you’ll get an earful from him later.

You glance over to see Hope looking at you with a half-smile and there’s a bit of guilt at how you just came across. You really want to disappear.

“Is that all? May I be excused now?” you ask Jin tersely. He rubs a hand over his mouth like he’s preventing himself from further calling you out. Keeping his stare locked with yours, he raises a dismissive hand.

“D, can you escort her down to the garage? Mr. Han will drive her home.” You close your eyes in relief. “And exchange information on the way; you’ll be picking her up tomorrow evening.”

“Yes, sir.”

You turn around before he stands up, making a beeline for the door because you’re boiling up like a tea kettle. The room seems to be chasing you, closing in on you, like a hand around your throat that you can’t fight off. By the hairs raised on the back of your neck, you can tell he’s coming up behind you so you pick up the pace, jamming your finger into the down button on the elevator. You silently thank it when it only takes a few seconds to arrive, the one thing on your side tonight, so that you can step in before he reaches you. You rapidly press the close button, your eyes narrowed in the harshest glare at his face as he sticks out his hand but he’s too late, the doors rumble shut, sealing him out.

Alone in the elevator, there’s so much going through your mind that it hurts to think. So many emotions and feelings are storming within you that you have no idea where to start to pick apart and process. All you know is that you want to get as far away from him as possible. How the tables have turned.

It’s freezing down in the garage, and Mr. Han has yet to arrive, much to your chagrin. The bubbling beneath the surface of your skin grows to a rage when you hear leather shoes pad onto the concrete.

“Angel-”

Oh, hell no! He doesn’t get to be casual. He doesn’t get to say your name. It’s not your real one, but it was real to him.

You twist around. “Don’t be informal."

Expression unchanged, he apologizes and corrects himself then steps forward with a hand held out, carrying your coat that you forgot upstairs.

You give it a side glance and snatch it away, tucking it under your crossed arms, because you prefer to be stubborn and cold. You refuse to face him, even when he clears his throat and takes another step towards you.

“Let me give you my number,” he says, reaching into his inside pocket to pull out his phone. As you remember what happened the last time he gave you his phone number, an indignant laugh bubbles in your throat, too painful to let out.

This is the universe laughing at you right in your face. You say nothing, not even acknowledging what he said, as if you didn’t hear him at all.

You just stare at the curb, desperately waiting for Mr. Han to pull up and take you away. In this moment, he’s your only friend in the world.

Seconds go by, and the man beside you reaches back into his jacket, trading his phone for… a pen? He then plucks out the white handkerchief folded neatly in his breast pocket, spreads it on his palm, and flicks the pen over it before passing it to you.

You stare at the handkerchief, at the numbers messily stained on the fabric, and crumple it in your hand, balling it into a tight fist.

Acting on autopilot with a question that’s been spinning around your mind since you shook his hand at dinner, you whip around to face him, faltering slightly when he’s closer than you realized. 

“Did you know?” you snap. “This whole time. Did you know about me?”

His face remains emotionless and even though he’s not wearing his shades, you can't see any kind of reaction in his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

Oh. So he's a fucking coward. And he wants to play games.

"Then let’s get one thing clear,” you grit, holding up your pointer finger. “If you think I'm gonna be nice to you, think again. And since you couldn’t give a shit about me, don't pretend to be nice either."

You get right in his face, but he doesn’t react or move away, and you wonder what it would take for him to stand down.

“Cross me in any way, I’ll tell my brothers who you really are.”

You stare, unblinkingly, in his eyes, searching, waiting for any sign that he’s the least bit intimidated by your threat. But there’s nothing. Just blank, soulless pupils. And to think they once set your heart on fire. Now they’ve turned it to ash.

How you ever fell for them, you’ll never know.

Clearly, you’re a fool.

“We’ll see how long you last, Min Yoongi.”

When you get home, you decline all calls from your brothers and march into your room, not bothering to change, and dig through all of your unpacked boxes searching for an old plastic bag containing a sweater and a chain that you’ve been carrying around with you for years but you don’t know why. You find Jungkook’s knife, but not the bag and now you’re left with the aftermath of a tornado on your bedroom floor. You spend all night putting everything in its place until the sun rises and your mind is numb, anything to ignore the swarm of angry wasps buzzing in your head because the man you’ve been trying so long to forget just somehow stuck himself in your life, like a knife in your chest.

For the rest of the day, you throw yourself back into the plethora of files you’ve poured over with Namjoon for what seems like hundreds of times. You go through all the contracts, budgets, blueprints, and black books until time bleeds into the late afternoon. But you can’t rest, for those harsh, dark eyes will come back to haunt you in your dreams. You’ll have flashbacks of that night, of him and it will only cause your chest to collapse into a black hole and swallow every last drop of color in your soul.

Your fiancé saunters into the foyer, wolf-whistling upon seeing you and an unsettling feeling takes over when he walks up to you.

“Well, aren’t you just a dream come true?” he muses, shamelessly checking you out and you shoot him a fake smile.

“Thank you,” you say politely, borderline sarcastic, and focus your attention on your reflection in the mirror as you fix your hair and earrings, putting your best poker face on now that Jay is standing a few feet away.

“You’re having dinner with your brothers again?”

“No, we’re meeting with the commission tonight.”

“Ah. Scary,” he says, a teasing smile on his face. You have a feeling that he actually thinks that, hence why he hasn’t offered up an opportunity to show you off, even though the commission consists entirely of men.

“Will you be alright?”

You don’t know how many times you’ve internally rolled your eyes since you’ve met him. Do you have ‘I’m helpless’ tattooed on your forehead or something?

“Yep. I shouldn’t be out too late.”

“Then I won’t wait up for you.” His tone is light like he’s still making jokes but you are in no joking mood so you bite your tongue. You weren’t expecting him to, nor would you want him to do that. Your phone pings and a rush of heat floods you when you know who it is, announcing his arrival.

“Okay. I think my ride’s here, so I’m gonna head out.”

“Let me walk you.” You want to argue that it’s not necessary, the less time spent interacting with him, the better.

Play nice, Angel, Jin's voice rings in your head.

Play nice.

So, you let him accompany you down the hall, help you on with your coat, and open the door for you that you politely thank him for.

In the driveway, a waxed black palisade with tinted windows is parked parallel to the main entrance, exhaust running, and your nostrils flare when you see Min Yoongi - oh, excuse you, D - standing next to the passenger's side, waiting for you with his hands clasped.

“Who’s that?”

“The security my brothers hired,” you say nonchalantly, even though there’s a burning rage in your chest.

“I thought you had an older driver.”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t have any security experience, so.” You notice that your fiancé seems to be somehow bothered by that information, but you don’t press it because you really don’t fucking care.

“Well, have a good-” But he interrupts you, tearing his attention away from the car you’re dreading having to ride in.

“So, my dad wants us to have dinner with them. Maybe you can make some time next weekend?”

Oh, god. That is the last thing you want to do. Jay’s parents are extremely conservative and traditional, and you can’t imagine what they’ll have to say to you now that you’re living with their son. But again, you have to play nice.

“Sure, I’ll let you know my schedule.”

“Sounds good,” he nods and just as you start to turn, he grabs your hand, the one with the oversized diamond sitting on your ring finger, his head quickly moving from the driveway to lean in and kiss right on the jewel and it makes you feel a bit icky.

“I’ll see you later,” he says from your knuckles with a noticeable grin. You plaster on a tight smile and subtly retract your hand.

“Have a good night.” He nods and lets you go, watching as you make your way down the marble stairs. You think to yourself this would be the time you might appreciate his help, considering you’re in heels and it’s freezing outside. But you don’t really want him to touch you again so you rely on the railing.

“Take care of my fiancée for me!” Jay calls out as you make it off the porch. Your eyes roll back so far in your head you have to close them and walk blindly for a few seconds. As you approach the car, you keep your head down, refusing to see how D responds to that. Although you don’t think he would, since he’s given you no indication that he even has emotions anymore as of yet.

From one man that pisses you off to the next. To say you're fuming would be an understatement.

Wearing a sleek black suit, a long winter coat to match, and, since it’s still light out, those dark sunglasses, he bows to you in greeting before opening the door, gesturing for you to get in.

"Good evening," he says as you approach, and you don’t reply, don't even look at him. You hate him, you really do, so why is it that his dark, quiet yet thunderous voice makes your heart skip a beat?

You feel his gaze on you as you reach for the back door, completely ignoring him, and slide into the warm car, slamming the door shut before scooting to sit behind the driver's side. You don’t want to be tempted to look at him in the rear-view mirror.

The passenger door closes and you whip out your phone, refusing to stare at the man swiftly striding around the front of the car. As he does, you wonder why the fuck he thought you would want to sit next to him. You’ve never felt comfortable treating your drivers like chauffeurs but this driver is a special case, and you hope that he’s gotten the message.

When he gets in and shuts out the cold, you're suddenly overwhelmed by the loud, attractive scent of his cologne and aftershave, a certain musk and spice to it that has your nostrils flaring for a split second. Fuck, he smells good, even with a hint of a cigarette. And expensive. You can only imagine the type of salary your brothers smuggle into his wallet, especially now that your safety is his sole responsibility. Protection like that doesn’t come cheap.

You dare him to say anything else, so you get out your case of earbuds with the intention to blast music and drown him out. But before you can shove them in, a stack of manila folders hangs in front of your face, held by long, thin fingers decorated by chunky silver rings. For a second you want to ask him what the fuck he’s doing, triggered by the fact that you’re so fucking over looking through files, even more so for him to be dumping them on you.

“What’s this?” you grumble, teeth clenching as you reluctantly accept the folders and draw them into your lap.

“Your brother wanted me to find you an assistant, so these are five candidates,” he explains, voice slightly muffled by the engine and from speaking to the windshield. “Take your pick and I’ll set up an interview.”

You can’t help your genuine surprise as you look over the spread he handed you, each file neatly organized with resumes, backgrounds, references and head shots. You wish he fucked something up so you'd have an excuse to call him incompetent, but he did his homework. And if he got all of this together since last night, then he’s more diligent than you want to give him credit for.

You swallow a scoff. "I'm allowed to choose? I didn't think I got a say.” 

"If you didn't, I wouldn't be giving you options."

"Are you sure?” You snark, face buried in the files. “I know you answer to my brother, and you wouldn't want to get in any trouble."

A beat passes. "He's not my boss. You are."

Well. That is... the last thing you thought he would say. And you never would've considered yourself his boss.

Oh. You're going to have fun with this.

“These are all men,” you scowl after you flip through all of the resumes.

Yeah, just what you need.

You lean forward to toss the files on the passenger's seat, papers scattering onto the floor. Your instincts urge you to apologize and offer to clean up the mess, but your pride has you sitting back with your arms crossed, looking out of the tinted window indifferently.

“You could’ve saved yourself a lot of trouble if you’d just asked me what I was looking for. But I guess you don’t really care what I want, do you?”

You spare a glance into the rearview mirror, the top half of his face clearly visible, but… you still can’t tell if he’s looking at you. You don’t wait for a response, not thinking there’s anything he could say anyway, and let your earbuds do the job of shutting him out.

It isn’t until you’re halfway to your destination that you realize you didn’t text him at all until an hour before you had to leave, so how could he have contacted you before then? That’s beside the point.

He should know what you’re really throwing in his face.

The car barely pulls to a stop in front of the warehouse when a small group of guards swarm around to flank the doors. Taking out your earbuds, you stare out of the tinted windows at the suited men looking all around to make sure you’re in the clear. You feel anything but assured.

One guard is standing right in front of the door, essentially blocking you inside, and D gets out, apparently needing to be the one to open it for you and assist in your exit.

The air is crisp and cold when your heels hit the gravel, and you don’t miss the way D’s palm flips up as you start to stand, playing it off when you intentionally ignore the gesture by lifting his wrist to his mouth to speak into the mic connected to his earpiece that runs under his sleeve.

You shiver when you step out and D shuts the door, holding an arm out to signal you to walk forward, pressing a finger into his earpiece. The guards fall into formation around you, one in front, one on either side, and D right behind you. This level of protection feels a bit too much as they escort you into the maze of shipping containers, you aren’t the president or some A-list celebrity, but you’re about to walk into a den of wolves, so you can’t go without a pack of your own.

They lead you through the arid warehouse, filled with shelves of boxes ready to ship out on the harbor, some legal, most illicit. In the very back is a steel door, and the leading guard opens it, takes a look down in the stairwell, and beckons you forward. You step into the hallway and catch a glimpse of the emergency exit, door wedged open by a… silver cigarette case? That looks very much like the one you saw your brother slip out of his coat the other morning and sneak outside before Jin came down for breakfast. You head for it and a guard puts a hand out to stop you, but you push past him; D calls for you, and you pay no attention, popping open the door. You falter mid-step when Jeongguk flinches and whips back his jacket, hand reaching for something in his waistband.

“Jesus, Angel,” he grumbles, letting go of his jacket to cover the handle of his gun, and takes a heavy drag of the cigarette. You bend down to pick up his silver case, letting go of the door that doesn’t close and you don’t doubt that D is the one holding it open.

“Relax, it’s just lil ole me,” you say, eyebrow raising when he shoots a glare your way. "What's up, bro?"

“What was last night about?" he asks, a hot start, leaning over to snatch the case out of your hands.

“Hey!”

"Are you done being an asshole? You were pretty rude to hyung last night. And D and Hope.” His tone is testy as smoke pours from his lips.

Crossing your arms, you prop yourself on the wall with a huff and an eyeroll.

“Well, that depends. Are you done keeping things from me?” He sighs and scratches the wrinkle between his brows with his thumbnail.

“We knew you wouldn’t like it, so that’s why we waited to tell you.”

“What about any of this do you think that I like?” You blurt in a raised voice that gets lost in the frigid breeze. He stares at you for a moment before looking away to take a drag, a tick in his jaw. You aren’t being fair, you know. Your brother is in the exact same boat. Neither of you signed up for this, but at least he wasn’t thrown into the fire at the last minute with little to no time to process anything. And his life isn't being guarded by someone who broke his heart.

"You can't be that way in there."

“I know. I'm sorry,” you try to recover. “It’s just-” As you stare out at the run-down docks, you can’t think of a way to explain what you’re sorry for. Instead, you swivel to face him and step up with a beckoning hand in the air.

“Can I have one?” Flicking ash on the brick, his expression changes to level you with a hesitant look.

“Since when do you smoke?” You don’t really since you hate the taste and the smell, but the kind of cigarettes that your brother buys isn’t as pungent and disgusting. Sometimes a little nicotine helps to take the edge off. And you’re very much on edge lately.

“Since I found out I’m about to become a criminal.”

He rolls his eyes. “What do you mean ‘about to’? Haven’t you been arrested before?”

“Not recently!” you exclaim. He’s one to talk! “Besides, that was for petty theft and I wasn’t even charged.”

“Don’t forget the time you spent a night in jail when you got caught speed racing. Hyung was so pissed he had to fly all the way out there to bail your dumb ass out.” Jeongguk tilts forward, crossing his ankles as he chuckles out a puff of smoke.

“Well, it’s your fault I even know how to race.” He opens his mouth to argue but you shut him down. “Do you want me to go ahead and list out your rap sheet too? We would be here all night.”

“Go to hell.” You laugh at his disgruntled scowl.

“I’ll meet you there. Give me your lighter or I’ll tell Jin you started smoking again.”

He shakes his head, both of you knowing damn well that Jin would not approve of the two of you chain smoking.

“Don’t be a tattletale.”

“Don’t be a hypocrite.”

“No,” he grumbles. “You shouldn’t be smoking.”

“You shouldn’t either!”

“I know. I’m quitting soon and I'm not about to let you start.”

With a reluctant huff, you lean back against the wall, watching his smoke billow out into the night sky. The both of you shiver in silence. It’s quiet out here, save for the sounds of a ship horn blaring in the distance, and the wind whistling into the alley from the docks that carries the smells of bay water and the old rotting wood of the piers. Scents like these usually bring a sense of calm into your soul, but tonight, anxiety overrides them all. You doubt even nicotine could do anything to ease the disquietude in your head.

“I’m scared,” you confess. You glance over to see him staring down at nothing in particular, not blinking as he smokes and you want him to tell you that he is too, but he’s in no position to be. Not anymore. It used to show in his jaw, in between his brows but there’s none of that. Looking at him now, gone is the boy you grew up with. And you know that’s because of how hard he worked to rid himself of all that fear, just like Jin, and what you have to do too.

“There’s no reason to be.” You look away with a frown, clearly not what you needed to hear, but his hand on your shoulder forces you to turn back.

“Listen. No one can do anything to us once they find out who we are.” You shrug off his hand. He takes a drag and blows it away from your face.

“Who’s to say they won’t?”

“Me. After tonight, I own this city and everything that belongs to me. That includes you, Angel. We’re not the ones who should be afraid.”

“Boss, it’s time to go.” You glance over your shoulder where a single, flickering light above the door shines down on D’s head as he holds it open with a flattened hand. You turn back to your brother as he sucks in a final drag before dropping the butt and squishing it under his heel. Exhaling smoke up to the sky, he hooks an arm around your shoulder and begins walking you to the door, not letting you fight your way out of his hold.

“We got this, sis.” You roughly push him and he finally lets go, clicking your tongue when he laughs at your glare.

“You do,” you mutter, straightening out your coat and smoothing down your shirt. Nervous habits. He stops and grabs your elbow.

“It’s us now. We’re in this together, okay?”

“Okay,” you breathe through a scared smile.

You keep your head up as you walk past D who slides against the door to put distance between you, yet still close enough to catch another whiff of his cologne. One breath and you’re aggravated that it’s him, another and the scent filters into your senses, leaving an undeniable calm.

Back inside, Jeongguk claps a hand on D’s shoulder as the guards return to their formation to lead you down the stairs and into the den. Before you enter, you can tell just how crowded it is from the sounds of chatter and laughter that drips exorbitant wealth, and the accompanying stench of thick illegal cigars that makes your nose itch.

Jeongguk walks around you to be the first one in the room and a wave of anxiety skids your heels to a stop. A presence that you’re coming to know all too well looms behind you, like he’s your shadow. More like a demon. Your eyes close to quell the drum pounding in your chest.

“After you,” he mutters, the sinful thunder in his voice mere inches away from your ear sending a shiver down your spine. Your eyes fly open and feet move on their own accord to get away from it.

Fuck. That.

The ringing in your ears that stems from his voice and low-spoken words rumbling in a loop through your mind aids you in your ability to shut out the room and the way it quiets down as you walk to the head of the table where your brothers stand in wait for you. The rest of the men are also already standing and it just makes their intense, collective stare on you that much more stifling.

You remove your coat and a hand stretches out beside you that you silently allow to take it. Jin gestures for you to sit on his right, across from Jeongguk, and waves for the commission to take their seats as well. Behind you, the doors close and one glance to the side shows D getting into place with your brothers guards by the adjacent wall, holding your coat.

With a polite, reserved expression, you take a sweep of the room and observe that these men are an assortment of strange faces and ones you’ve seen in Namjoon’s files. They’re all young and old. Father and son. Leaving you as the outlier. And that causes a lump in your throat.

Jin launches into introducing you and Jeongguk, and all you can do is keep your back straight and hands on the table, respectfully paying attention as he explains how now that he’s going on the lam, the family heads will defer to Jeongguk, and their crews and associates will report to you for any and all financial endeavors at the casino. As Jin speaks these plans into reality, you finally begin to feel the full pressure and burden of your impending responsibilities.

And this time your brother won't be there to bail you out.

The members offer your end of the table diplomatic nods of acknowledgement and subtle darting eyes between all three of you.

But just as Jin gives Jeongguk the floor, a deep, condescending laugh resounds from across the table, belonging to a smug, rugged man wearing thick chains and even thicker rings. All attention snaps to his interruption and your skin crawls when he fixes Jeongguk with a leering, patronizing stare.

“I’m sorry, but with all due respect, do you really think your junkie brother can handle being in charge?” 

Your eyebrows cross at the audacity. He’s speaking as if Jin is not the reigning top boss of this entire room and Jeongguk is not about to step in and fill his shoes. There’s a slur to his words and the near empty decanter next to his glass indicates that he’s imbibed and probably incognizant. Because who in their right mind would dare to provoke the kingpin of the city’s mob syndicate like this.

You look over to Jin, expecting him to call out the man’s blatant disrespect, but both him and Jeongguk are staring the man down with darkness and anger that you’ve never seen before. Perhaps they’re just giving him the chance to dig himself into a hole so deep he’ll have to stay there.

“And what about her?” the man with a greasy mustache points at you. You recognize him. “I don’t know if I can trust her capabilities with dealing business at the casino. I mean, what does she know?”

He’s underestimating you and you’re sure he’s not alone in that. Everyone else is just smart enough to keep their mouths shut. You want to pull your hands into your lap to frown at, but you just lean back in your chair, maintaining a cool expression as you wait for him to spew more of his bullshit.

“Yeah, sure they were born with the purpose of serving your father, but we all know they weren’t raised like you. So how can they possibly be prepared to take over in your place?”

“Because they’re my blood,” Jin finally says, voice steady and reasonable. But his narrowed eyes and blown out pupils tells you he’s anything but.

“Only by half,” he sneers. “Wasn’t their mother some low-life shop owner?” You feel choked by the mention of your mother and wonder just how much this man and the rest of the commission know about you beyond what they’re entitled to. Your chest squeezes when you catch eyes with Jeongguk as he furiously picks at his fingers, probably not realizing he’s even doing it. 

“See, that’s where the don went wrong. Choosing a peasant to procreate his back-up heirs with. Their blood doesn’t really count, at least not in my book.” Lee looks around as if to see who else is on his side, but no one takes their attention off of Jin as he rises and digs a hand onto Jeong'guk's shoulder.

“He is the don now.”

Lee scoffs. “He’s a junkie! Just like your father.” Your fingers clench into a tight fist, the urge to stand up for your brother sending a violent rush through your veins.

“Watch your mouth, Lee,” Jin growls in a malicious tone. “You’re forgetting your place. Don’t make me remind you.”

“I’m not resigning,” Jin barks, fixing the entire room with a dead serious glare. “I’m leaving to avoid prison. Because if I go down, I’m taking everyone with me. Do I make myself clear?”

“My place,” Lee chuckles bitterly, shaking his head. He picks up his glass and bangs it on the table with a thud. “My place should be at the head of that fucking table with my son, not these little children. We should be the next in line now that you’re resigning!”

Jin’s power reverberates off of the walls and it carves away some of your anxiety. He points a stern finger at Lee.

“They are the rightful heirs, just as I am, and I won’t throw away all of what I’ve built just because you don’t accept that.”

“What your father built,” Lee spits in contempt. Jin bends down with a heavy slam of his hands on the wood surface.

“What my family built. And what my brother and sister will continue to build because it’s theirs now.”

“Do they know that’s the only reason why they were born? Well, him at least.” Your face contorts in confusion when he points at Jeongguk. Jin lifts his hands from the table and the tension in the room grows thicker as he stands tall.

“It’s a fair question. And does she know that when there were rumors that Don Kim had a daughter, he adamantly denied it?”

“Excuse me?”

Your fingernails dig into your sweaty palms when Lee slides his beady eyes to you.

“You were a mistake, sweetheart,” he lilts with an ugly, crooked grin. “What use would he have with a girl? All you’re good for now is playing trophy wife to appease the son of your father’s biggest investor. You’re just a pawn in his business plan, you have no real value.”

“Lee, that’s enough-” Jin snarls.

“Lee Dong-wook, right?” you starkly interject, staring unwaveringly at him and his rising eyebrow. “Didn’t you lose your business in the east harbors when you failed to keep quota and you couldn’t control disputes between the local gangs? I can’t remember exactly how much money and how many men you cost my brother but I know it was a lot.”

Lee’s jaw drops, rendered speechless. A raging vein begins to bulge on the side of his forehead, turning his face beet red now that you’re doing the job of tearing him down from his high horse.

You reach forward for a box of cigars in front of Jeongguk, only to find it empty. To your surprise and everyone else's, you stand and move to pass behind your brothers, ignoring Jin’s hushed, “What are you doing?” as you walk over to Lee, hoping to exert some intimidation by standing your ground over him. You try to disregard the fact that he is twice your size and far more muscular but Jeongguk's words from earlier remind you that no one can hurt you now.

“But at least you still have this side of the harbor so you can trade paraphernalia with other parts of the coast. Like these.”

The shadow that follows you will ensure that.

You spot a cigar box next to Lee and another older man, and no one says anything as you lean in between them to take one out, snatching up one of the cutters as well. Holding up the cigar beneath your nose, you inhale the strong flavored mix of coffee and leather.

“Hmm, not bad,” you reflect, analyzing the stamped label before you snap off the end. “Kind of cheap, but I guess the tobacco isn’t what your customers are actually after. It’s smart, smuggling amphetamines in these. Just ironic that you move rock for a living but have the nerve to call my brother a junkie. I don't doubt you take samples.”

The lighter you pick up and flick open to fire up the cigar become the only sounds in the room. After disposing the metal on the table, you place the wrapped leaf between your teeth and brace yourself as you take a smooth drag.

“And you must be stupid if you think I don’t know that my father didn’t want me,” you say, blowing smoke up to the ceiling. You glance back down to Lee whose eyes are on the brink of bulging right out of their sockets.

“But you see, I’m not here for him. I’m here for them,” you point the cigar over your shoulder at Jin and Jeongguk.

“You sure they’re not forcing you?” Lee challenges, tongue thick with rage causing specks of saliva to catch on his mustache. Gross.

A moment passes, and then another with no response and you think you’ve made your case. But just as you’re about to give up the facade that you’re enjoying this piss-awful cigar, Lee harshly spits out,

“No one can force me to do anything,” you reply calmly. “I’ll do whatever it takes for my brothers.”

“Would you kill for them, little girl?”

Tilting your head, your mind races as you imagine all the ways you could show him how far you’re willing to go for both of them. A small smile creeps onto the corner of your lips around the cigar.

“Do you want to find out?” His mustache twitches. You blow smoke in its direction.

“You tell me,” you shrug. “If anything, I’d be doing you a favor.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Pardon?” You lazily tap the cigar, unphased when the ash falls to the floor, some of it on Lee’s lap, earning a glower.

“It sounds like you have a death wish. Coming in here and disrespecting my brothers even though you can’t do a goddamn thing without their say so. They own you and, now, so do I.”

Lee doesn’t break your stare but by the curl of his fist on the arm of the chair and his cheeks that tinge an even darker red, you’ve severely pissed him off.

“You don’t have what it takes to kill me.”

“Wanna bet?”

Taking that as a challenge, you reach down, lift the hem of your slacks, and snatch out the knife nestled in the strap around your calf. In a flash, you bring your sharp silver blade to the vein on his thick neck, smoke from the cigar dangerously close to his sideburns.

A commotion erupts around you as two of Lee’s men move to defend him at a moment’s notice, weapon threatening to withdraw and your pulse glitches for a second at the potential danger. That is until a figure behind you pushes away Lee’s guard and you know without looking that it’s Jeongguk coming to your aid. And next to him is that dark and menacing man smelling of smoke and musk and intimidation.

“Well, I bet you’d hate to get killed by a girl. So I’ll save you your dignity.”

Lowering your knife, you lean away but pause when a goading sneer grows on his ugly mug.

“You’re weak. Just like your brother who can’t even man up and take responsibility for the casino because of what happened to his little-” Before he can finish that sentence that would have Jeongguk flying off the handle, you stab the burning end of your cigar on the back of his hand, twisting a sear into his skin until he leaps up with a shriek.

“You bitch!” The cigar plants itself on the side of his neck, until your wrist is grabbed and ripped away, tobacco falling to the floor, just like the man who dared to put hands on you. As you’re pulled back by your brother, off to the side is D manhandling Lee’s guard into submission, face pressed into the wall with a gun shoved into the side of his head. Your brothers’ guards surround you and there’s a standoff with Lee’s men, the rest of the room watching on in shock, no one else daring to move lest they get caught in impending crossfire.

“Weapons down, now,” Jin’s terse voice booms. The guns slowly lower but the fierce glares remain pinned on opposite sides.

“Lee. You’re dismissed.” You think that’s code for, I’m not going to kill you in front of my sister. You know you’ve just made a cause for bloodshed.

“Have fun getting whacked,” you grin devilishly at Lee who can’t decide which burn hurts worse. “I hope your last thought is of my pretty face.”

In brazen stupidity, Lee steps forward but before his foot can even touch the ground, he’s sent flying back with your brother’s fists in his collar. A hand on your elbow tugs you away from the chaos you created, but you can’t look away from it, like it’s a car crash. But D steps in front of you just as you’re dragged to the front of the room by your brother. Your coat is swung around your shoulders and suddenly you’re facing Jin who guides you to the door. D appears right by your side.

“I knew you had it in you, birdie,” Jin says with a proud glint in his eyes. On the other side of the room, your brother’s guards are doing their best to keep Jungkook and Lee apart as they usher him to the exit.

“D, take her home.”

The backseat of the car is warm on the ride home. Your hands are shaking, surely from the adrenaline. That’s when it hits you, what you just did. Fuck. You’ve never acted that way before, never purposely hurt someone because you didn’t like what they said.

But you liked it. The power you had, the confidence it gave you. And that scares you. 

“Are you okay?” D asks tentatively. It’s then that you realize you’ve been crying. You flick a defiant tear from your cheek and wrap your arms tighter around yourself.

“I told you don’t pretend to be nice,” you snap.

The rest of the drive is spent in silence. If you were sitting up front, you would’ve seen the way his fingers flexed on the steering wheel.

When he pulls up to your house, you quickly get out even though he starts to say something, desperate to be inside, away from him and the cold and everything that happened. 

You don’t know why your office has become your safe haven, but you return there and collapse into one of the armchairs, weighed down by tonight, and what’s in store. Not to mention the extra weight added on your chest because of D.

So you cry. You cry until you run out of tears, but you don't think that could stop you with how much you're hurting. That is until you hear a knock on your office door. It startles you, you’ve never expected anyone to check on you, especially not your fiancé. Were you crying so loud that he could hear you all the way across the house? You don't think that much of it, too busy getting a hold of yourself to look presentable before cracking open the door.

His face is overshadowed by the hallway light, and you can't see his eyes that well. You try to hide your swollen, tear-streaked cheeks from him, but he peers over the door with a small yet gentle smile.

"What's wrong? Did things not go well with the commission?”

You quickly wipe away any stray tears, putting on a brave face as you open the door a little further.

"Ah, well. It was just a lot, y’know?” You scramble, because you can't actually tell him what's wrong. Obviously. You don't think you'll ever be able to tell anyone. And you definitely don’t want to admit that you’re being weak.

"I do. Everything will be okay. It'll all take some adjustment." Huh. That's... comforting, coming from him. Like he understands.

"So, I was just in the kitchen, raiding the pantries for some snacks. Would you care to join?"

“Sure. You, uh,” you tug your sleeves over your hands, clenching them with cold fingers. “You couldn’t hear me from all the way out there, right?”

He turns his back to you with a laugh, leading you down the hallway.

“No, but I noticed you came home late and, well, I just wanted to see how things went. But I wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk to me.”

“You said you wouldn’t wait up.”

“I was joking, but I guess it didn’t land well. You might have to get used to my sense of humor.”

That was humor?

Damn. When did you get so mean?

On the island counters in the expansive kitchen, he sets out some bowls and fills them with snacks as you take a seat on one of the tall stools.

“Do you like any of these?”

“Sure,” you shrug, reaching for one of the bowls.

“If there’s anything you want, put it on a list and I can send it off to be picked up.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I can do my own shopping. Thanks, though.” You’ll have to text your brothers later to tell them how right you are about him.

“Alright, well let me know if you change your mind. I’m just trying to help out.”

You nod, chewing pensively, and he shakes his head to change the subject.

“Anyway, can you tell me what happened tonight? That made you so upset.”

You carefully retell bits and pieces of the meeting, leaving out the part when you stabbed an old man twice with a cigar. You give him the gist of how the family heads don’t entirely back the idea of you and Jungkook gaining control of the syndicate, to which Jay tells you they’ll have to get over it because you’re just doing your family duty.

For a while, you chat, finding that conversation with your fiance comes a little easier than you thought. You guess you just had to give it a chance. He gives you his support for some of the plans you have for the casino renovations and even offers to take a look at the blueprints. He cracks corny jokes every now and then that you have to force a bit of laughter because sometimes they don’t make sense, but you don’t entirely loathe this whole interaction.

He is very charming; you'll give him that. But you still have a prickly feeling that it’s all just an act to be good to you in order to impress your brothers and get on their good side. And once they’re out of sight, no longer around to look out for you, he’ll show his true colors. Maybe you’re just jaded and bitter.

But you don’t think you should let your guard down just yet.

You won’t make the same mistake again.

.

.

.

lmaoooo originally i was aiming for a 12-14k word count. whoops. but it's finally here! this has been a whirlwind. I've been wanting to get this out for a while but i've been kind of nervous about it. honestly im glad i waited because so many things came together for this part that i didn't have before. sorry for the wait.

xxx - claret

thank you for reading 😊

let me know what you think!!! <333

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taglist:

@viankiss @taegijns @polarnightmyg @rinkud @futuristicenemychaos

[reviewcycle]

the sparrow (sajin komamura x reader) part 2

words: 3.3k posted on ao3 first

previous part, next part

jin was fretting, it seems, over you, which was embarrassing enough but his large warm hands were poking and prodding at you. you could barely fight him off, and fight is very generous of a word when all you did with half-heartedly groan and squirm the latter of which hurt you even more.

he feels your head, your neck, your fever had finally broken. he offhandedly notices the necklace again, unknowing it was the maker of your male facade. the fact your spiritual pressure was astonishingly low was possibly why you had asked to accompany him. you had barely enough to defend yourself- which made sense looking at your seemingly unused sword.

by the time you awoke fully, you were warm again, and your eyes focused- as much as they could without the glasses you wore- on jin’s wide expanse of back. he was huddled over the pot, that looked surprisingly normal sized next to him, and the smell of cooking meat- actual meat was fully in the air.

you sit up with a groan, but you can kind of tell he knew you were awake before you even started moving. halfway through the movement, you realize that your tunic was replaced, the one covering you is way too big and heavy for you. instantly, you stop moving. taking a mental check on your faculties. nothing seemed out of place but your clothing, and that makes you relax a bit until he speaks up, not bothering to move. or perhaps, not wanting to startle you.

“i secured some deer, they were milling about, so i got us one.”

your heart flips. us. whatever this fixation you were developing was getting out of hand.

“oh… that’s nice.” he was the only other person around for miles, of course he was the one who watched over you. how pitiful had you been for him to feel the need to nurse you to relative health?

slowly walking over, you sit on his other side. your eyes indulgently sweeping across his form, he wore a close fitting shirt- a surprising upgrade from shirtless. still, the sleeves were short enough both his arms were exposed. you secretly wished you had a mask to cover your face as well- at least you could hide your embarrassment and shame.

on your third glance, you realize he had been looking at you already. you adjust your glasses nervously, the air between you two was heavy, thick. tension weighed down upon your shoulders like the many lies you’ve told; that you must continue to tell. he speaks first, and you resist showing the tingle it sends up your spine by poking the hot embers with the fire poker.

“forgive me for undressing you, but you had sweat through your clothes..” his voice gives away no judgment, and since you couldn’t see his face, you weren’t necessarily sure if what he was saying were what he truly thought, or if he was simply biding his time to trespass against you. he speaks again, his voice rumbling deep in his chest with a mirthless chuckle, “i have no reason to judge you, especially with this helmet.”

your eyes drop from his, unfortunately dragging your gaze from his head, down his wide shoulders and broad chest, past his sculpted- beefy would be more apt- arms and his thick thighs, you snap out of your reverie, poking the fire harder- it makes an ember flop out and you hurriedly toss it back in, feeling jittery.

“thank you,” you say, the added ‘for saving my life’ hung invisibly in the air. you clear your throat again. he offers you one of your (small to him) cups, filled with water. taking it, you chug the cool liquid down.

“also, i understand if you don’t want to travel with me-”

“i will travel with you. we’re going the same way, it would be a waste otherwise.”

he interrupts you, his focus on the deer, flipping a few large chunks in an even larger pan with a pair of chopsticks.

you freeze, that seemed to happen a lot around this man, it was becoming a steadily growing issue.

“are you sure? i mean, i was asleep- sick- for how long..? i couldn’t ask you to protect me just because i’m cooking for you.” it was ridiculous, this guy, whoever he was, had to be absolutely crazy! what was his motivation for doing this?

“those things don’t matter to me, i have seen much worse.” he pauses, but decides to say nothing else this time.

your face feels hot. what the hell was he talking about? and here he was still rambling, you really were a poor conversationalist. here he was, offering you exactly what you asked for free of charge, and yet you refused him. in your despair you notice he was still talking.

“i would have agreed to your terms even if the events of last week hadn’t occurred.”

trying to hide the dumbfounded look on your face, you busy yourself with preparing the food bowls and the thankfully large plates. he’d even managed to find some vegetables, potatoes at that. you needed to change the subject from your ineptitude, so you blurt something out.

“how did you hunt if your sword is sealed shut?”

at that he stiffens a bit more, and there’s more silence than comfortable.

“traps, bare strength, the usual.”

you pause as well, just how strong was he to kill a whole deer (of this size!) with no real weapon? you can’t resist a shudder of palpable fear, and play it off by outstretching your hands toward the fire. he takes notice, obviously. you two sat too close for him not to.

“if you’re cold, you could sit closer to me during dinner.”

what the hell was he talking about?

“don’t think you can just coddle me, i'm a prideful man." but still... you were cold almost always, and sitting close to his wondrous body would be a dream, but you absolutely could not get distracted and falter.

he chuckles, clearly not phased by your posturing. the food is quickly distributed and he turns his back to eat. you do similarly, sneakily leaning your back against his side. he really was warm.

you both pack up relatively quickly, you especially considering you didn't have much to begin with. bag on your back and snowshoes on, you both abandoned your previous dwelling with little fanfare.

*

the air was freezing, biting and nipping at your exposed skin, your lungs feeling.. refreshed actually, with the air so cold. jin was largely unaffected. the mountain of a man made sure, steady footprints, his long, loping gait not faltering once.

needing something, anything to take your mind off of how shapely he looked from behind, you speak up from behind your scarf.

"so how important is this job to travel so far?"

he says nothing for a few more moments than what you think is normal.

"very. the stakes are high, and it's time sensitive." he didn't feel the need to say that he was working that very job now, of course not. however, if you had the brains to ask, he might've told you.

unfortunately, you had no such brains- at least not on this issue. so you hum, nodding very solemnly. "i see. i will make sure not to hold you back."

the trek to the forest was more boring than the actual (unseen to you) path through the wilderness. you both walk through the quiet areas with relative silence. jin pointing out what plants grew despite the frost, you sharing vague stories you'd heard from other villages you'd visited.

the forest itself was quiet, sleeping even, at first glance until you slowed down and noticed the small things, the soft beating heart of the woodland creatures surviving despite the weather. you even see a few deer.

"why did you choose so far west to live?" he asks, you'd started walking side by side, he had a larger stride than you, and so he'd elected to slow down for your sake. already the stinging pain of being a burden was palpable.

"needed to get out of my hometown, there was nothing there for me." he helps you (help being the key word), over a fallen tree by grabbing you around the waist and setting you down gently on the other side. he'd allowed you to keep the tunic he leant you on, and it was warmer than half the clothing you were able to pack.

"who gave you that blade?" you ask, eyes focused on your feet so you didn't trip and make a fool out of yourself. it'd been two days of trekking through the dense forest and he'd caught you so many times, you could feel his strong, firm hands on you even still. ever gentle. shaking the thoughts, you forced yourself to listen.

"my former master... he was killed abruptly." the silence that follows descended like a hungry group of vultures. "he'd taken me in, monstrous as i was. taught me his ways and i had never been able to repay his kindness." with a shrug, his helmet faces your direction but you miss it, seeing as how you're looking at your feet.

"so.. now i help other people. revenge had been my first option, and i deeply regret the routes i took while on that journey. but well..." he swallows, "i decided i wouldn't let my anger speak for me." he places a heavy hand on his sword, as if to remind himself of the weight on his shoulders, his own personal path to redemption and answers for something he felt the vague feelings of but couldn't name. not yet.

you nod, so you were a charity case, basically. but it also explains why he was a ronin, it especially explained why he sealed his blade away.

"sorry if you weren't ready to talk about that," you muster, looking up at him again.

his head shakes, "if I didn't want to share, i wouldn't. as travelling partners, we need at least a bit of trust between us."

your stomach twists painfully. trust. you don't give yourself time to stew before you shoot another question. "so the job is west? how far?"

any further than where you were going (an allegedly pretty coastal town called karakura) ended up in a completely new continent. one sparsely travelled. yes of course you wanted to get away from your clan, but a new continent... that was a bit too extreme, for now.

"well, i'm helping a grieving family find a lost member, she'd been kidnapped in the middle of the night and whisked away. it was unlike her, they say." he doesn't share more, possibly because of some confidentiality he had to uphold, but he does pose his own question.

"wait, you said you came from there," he names your town and you gratefully hold back a cringe. "are you familiar with the area?"

not wanting to seem suspicious, you nod, using the creeping despair you felt to mask your terror. there was just no way he was looking for you. a frown on your face you shake your head woefully, glad to hide your eyes from him.

"i know of the more prominent families, but stealing women? what has this world come to, truly."

before he can ask something else- thankfully - he pauses and sniffs the air. you'd noticed it was one of his habits, sniffing things, gruff noises that- if you were trying hard enough felt like growls. his... fixation with securing the perimeter. you had assumed that he was just someone with keen senses, which wasn't uncommon, but the raw power you felt just by being near him belied something else.

"there's a hot spring nearby." he declares, walking off towards the left somewhere.

forced to keep up, you stumble along behind him, he seemed excited for this. you weren't really sure how he knew, but it soon hit you, the smell of sulfur and the gradual heat from the water wafting over you both.

you two had been together nearly a month by now, and through that time you'd become keenly aware he was diligent, and very serious, but not unkind. his humongous size and helmet simply made him more opposing than he seemed.

coming across the decent sized pool of steaming water, he puts his bag down and starts stripping his clothing again.

having no real thing to hide- your necklace had worked seamlessly so far, using spiritual pressure to conceal and hide your true body was the feat that caused you to be near constantly strained- but it was worth it.

hopefully in karakura town, you'd be able to find a famed tool maker, to optimize your necklace so it used less spiritual pressure. until then, you'd have to make do.

stripping down your clothing, you take quick glances at his back. his shapely ass and fat padded back and legs forced a bit of drool to collect in your mouth and you swallow hastily. though, he looks... more hairy than he did in the cabin. how long ago was that? you were asleep for almost a week of it, maybe you were misremembering.

"do you know how many more days we have until we reach the next town?" you'd been talking about maps, having shared with eachother, hell, he didn't even need a compass apparently. he used the stars to navigate.

despite his excitement for having found the hot spring he answers, finally kicking off his pants, leaving himself in his fundoshi. he turns to look at you, helmet still firmly on his head. "... about a week."

maybe it's because dishonesty had become your own moon and stars, or maybe it was because you'd been memorizing more of his tells than you care to admit to anyone but yourself, but you think he's lying.

still, you nod, averting your eyes as you carefully fold up your clothing until you're sure he's submerged in the water. naked (to his eyes) aside from your own fundoshi, you slip into the heated water with a groan.

the silence that permeates the air, for once, is pleasant. though, you'd misjudged the size of the natural pool, because if you moved anymore, you'd be in his lap. still, you try to reason with yourself, humming as you feel his leg brush yours under the water. he really did seem hairier.

"guess i have to string myself into another tree." you joke. since you two have been in the woods, jin had insisted you make camp up a sturdy tree, yet he still slept on the group. at first you'd joked he'd taken your name- sparrow- a bit too seriously, but it seems that was his only request for you.

he ate the food you cooked without question. most of it meat with whatever strange vegetation he scrounged up, most of which unfamiliar to you. just two days ago you both had milled some plant or another to make some meager bread that actually tasted pretty good.

he doesn't seem amused now, his arms spread across the "lip" of the pool, arms wide, you were sitting across from him, in full view of his hefty chest. his nipples were hard, and in the light of the near setting sun, his eyes glinted.

hell, if you looked hard enough- and trust, you tried- you could scarcely see the soft bobbing of his bulge under the bubbling water. besides that, his knee was clearly slotted between your legs, and he didn't apologize once. which, was unlike him completely.

honestly, you aren't sure how long you were in the hot spring, at least until he got out first, insisting it was time for dinner. you weren't completely sure how he knew you were hungry before you yourself did, but you never complained.

dinner was short, clearly something was on his mind. and if you were reading him right? something he didn't want to talk about. which was fine with you. nearly every time you talked, you had to lie to him, especially now you know he was looking for a missing person. most likely a missing you.

after shaking a few trees, jin finally finds one he thinks is suitable for you to take. and you make the climb, up and up until you find a nice steady branch to wrap yourself up, tie yourself down, and try your best to sleep. truthfully, you wanted to be next to him, snuggled into his strong arms, but he insisted it was the safest way for you to sleep. big strong animals resided in these woods.

*

the next three days were... interesting. despite travelling with him as usual, you felt as if you went nowhere. he was more handsy than usual- his usual being the occasional helping you over something big and making sure you didn't hurt yourself. now his hands lingered, on your back, your hip, you even caught him "discreetly" sniffing at you when he helped you up over something. if you were crazy, you'd assume he was taking the more treacherous path on purpose, especially considering he was the only one who really knew where you both were going.

you'd gotten the ill written map back near your hometown, from some sketchy old woman who said "it'll take you where you need to go" which... was unhelpful especially now. the forest wasn't even on the map!

jin had stopped, you'd walked way later than usual, and now he was checking out trees for you to sleep in. fortunately, a particularly gigantic one had a hollow, just big enough for you. it made you shiver, wondering what creature that huge had made the hole, but you put that aside when you realize how cozy it was. you leave your bag inside and head back down. jin was poking at a fresh fire with way too much interest.

he seemed... prickly, and as the sun made its descent, he rushed you along eating so you could go to bed. jin was clearly worried. and sick of being pushed around (but not necessarily of being manhandled), you speak up.

"jin, stop. what is wrong with you?" you say, not really sure how else to word your concerns.

he pauses, his hands clenching at his sides. he needed to cut his nails, you thought- they were sharp looking, absolutely wicked. "i've seen evidence of wolves in the area, so i need you up the tree."

you bristle, "wolves?!" jaw dropped, you look around, as if they'd be waiting in the shadows to be discovered right then.

"why didn't you say something earlier? we.. you..."

truthfully, what could you do? but you were worried about your travelling partner. and not because you were forming a crush because he was protecting you and forging your path to karakura.

"nothing to be done." he was gently- more gently than he had been in the last three days- nudging you toward your tree. "now get into your nest, and don't bring attention to yourself. no matter what."

unsure of what to say, you barely notice him pushing you along while you're talking, "i- well be careful! wild animals are dangerous, jin."

he gives a dark chuckle, and you aren't sure whether to be giddy with excitement at him herding you, or angry that he was treating another (perceived) man as he would a woman. still, you climb up and up into the hollow and get ready for bed. the moon- full in all her splendor, had arisen beautifully.

on your way to sleep, when you decide to call out to jin, mostly to say goodnight, and half to tell him to be careful again- you hear an ear shaking howl.

way too close for comfort.

[benewol]

beat the shit out of them [Vin Jin x Reader]

this work is heavily influenced by @wannaeatramyeon 's works, especially her unhinged reader fic featuring vin!! no warnings, reader can also be considered genderneutral as far as im concerned just a bunch of cussing tbh. hope you enjoy :))

"Vin Jin."

...

"Hey, Vin Jin."

...

"I'm fucking talking to you!"

The next thing he feels is a harsh smack on the back of his head as he quickly catches himself before the chair can tip over.

"The fuck do you want?! Fucking crazy ass bitch," he rubs the now throbbing, sore spot you gave him, face scrunching up as usual.

Dramatic motherfucker.

"If you didn't tint your glasses over so much you wouldn't be getting smacked. You would've seen me preparing to swing, too," you smirk in retaliation, your arms moving from their crossed position to resting next to your sides while you're leaning against his table.

He merely sends you what you think is probably supposed to be a nasty glare and re-positions his legs on that same table, nudging your back with his polished sneakers.

So you continue talking.

"Mary's been trying to gesture for you to leave the classroom without making a commotion, you know."

"Okay, and?"

"Your bff needs you and that's all you can say? Really?" You roll your eyes.

"Can't be so important if it only took you to solve it."

"Fuck off."

"Lol, you first."

"Sure. Tell me why you keep tinting your glasses and I will."

His eyes furrow inquisitively.

"I don't need to do shit. Class is starting soon so you need to move your fat ass soon anyway, might as well do it immediately," his smug smile one of those you'd love to fill with a pile of some of his ridiculous sheets of lyrics crumpled up.

That's a good idea. You're adding that to your list titled 'what would piss vincent the fuck off'.

"Your sense of time is, unsurprisingly, tremendously shit. We have another half an hour left, you moron," you reach out your hand to flick his wide forehead, which he now sees coming and dodges, catching himself before falling yet again.

What a fucking loser, you shake your head and keep yourself from succumbing to laughter.

"Whatever. I'm not showing you shit."

"Come on. I'm sure whatever it is you're blowing it out of proportion," you reach out again to touch his glasses.

He reaches out too. To stop your hand from moving towards his sunglasses. And his grip is not as harsh as you'd expected it to be.

"Stop it. If you see it, I'll have to kill you."

"See what? You're being so ominous. Do you have weird rectangular pupils like goats or what?"

He sputters for a moment.

"That'd be funny."

"The fuck?"

"You could come up with a line like 'my eyes are like those of a goat, yeah, I'm the GOAT'," you press your lips together to stop the laughter from spilling out of your mouth.

That line was good.

He won't tell you that, though, because you were way too close to uncovering the truth.

He huffs, turning his head away from you and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

What he doesn't know is that his oh-so-clever self forgot to re-tint his glasses.

This in turn means the sun's rays hit his lenses so nicely you were able to catch a tiny glimpse of his two grey irises and the resulting pupils in his left eye.

Your breath catches in your throat.

A soft gasp makes his head turn back to you, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"What's that? Pulling a stupid line like that and immediately growing quiet?" He mumbles to mask his alarm.

You hum, and he notices your solemn expression, making him grow apprehensive.

"Weren't you Cheonliang's number one?"

"Still am."

"And Allied's number two?"

"Yeah."

"How come you don't just lose the shades and simply beat the shit out of anyone who comments on your eyes, then?"

He stares at you. Still occasionally having rubbed the wound you'd inflicted on the back of his head, he loosens his arms which were crossed behind it.

Placing them on his thighs, he balls his fists.

"Shut up."

He abruptly stands up and moves towards the door, shaking the table you were leaning against, making you furrow your brows in irritation.

Typical.

At least you'll know where to find him.

If things don't go his way, he'll just lock himself in the boys' bathroom and listen to one of Duke's albums.

You don't intend letting him flee the scene this time, though.

"Don't you dare run away now."

He doesn't know why, but he halts in his steps.

"Or else what, pipsqueak?"

He turns back towards you.

"Your eye adds to your nonexistent charm."

...

"Hello?"

...

"Earth to Vincent?" You wave your hand in front of his shielded eyes.

Turning on his heel, he doesn't leave without wanting to have the last word.

"Fucking weirdo, I don't need your pity."

"Asshole, I'm not pitying you!!"

What you fail to see is the faintest of rose-coloured blushes on Vin's cheeks as he puckers his lips, absentmindedly scratching at his lenses while sauntering down the hallway.

[uweiy]

New Beginnings

Gaon has heard people say revenge left you empty. It might be true in some cases. It definitely isn't true for Kang Yohan. Rather like he finally drove out the demons plaguing his existence. Where Yohan was sharp, he is now gentle. Where there was torment, there is now peace. And Yohan wears peace like a halo, hard-earned and precious.

The first months are still difficult, in the way change always is.

Elijah doesn't want Yohan with her when she goes to see her physical therapist. It bothers him, Gaon can tell, to leave Elijah in a stranger's hands unsupervised, even just for an hour, but he's trying to give her more independence. Gaon's heart bursts with something like pride.

(Gaon checks on her whenever he can and gives Yohan little updates on how the treatment is going.

Yohan pretends not to care.)

It also feels weird, leaving for work, while Yohan stays at home.

Yohan doesn't ask about the ongoing restructuration process, though Gaon knows he misses the court work, misses the attention, the show. Gaon guesses he has a lot to figure out, including who he is without those things. So, by tacit agreement, they avoid bringing it up.

It doesn't keep Gaon from wishing he could ask for Yohan's opinion on some matters. Turns out, it was way easier pointing out the flaws in Yohan's decisions when Yohan had been in charge, than being the one in charge. Or one of the people in charge at least.

Gaon doesn't think justice should rely that much on just one person. That one mere human should hold that much power over the people themselves. Gaon was already liked, thanks to Yohan paving the way for him, but he declines brand deals and interviews, and generally avoids doing anything that might get him too close to getting a fanbase.

Jin Joo is much better than him at this anyway, so she handles most of the public-relations part.

He tries to balance out what Soohyeon would do with what Yohan would do. Then he breathes out and thinks what he would do.

____

One day he comes back to find Yohan sitting cross-legged on his armchair, staring blankly into space.

"Yohan?"

"She said I was made for it."

"What?"

"Sun Ah. She said I was made for the stage."

"The stage was made for you," Gaon answers cautiously, still standing under the arch that crowns the entrance of the room. They are still learning how to approach each other, with words rather than with violence. The latter being the easier way, for them. "not the other way around. You are made for whatever you like. Whatever brings you peace. "

Yohan considers it.

Gaon crosses the distance between them. Yohan looks up, just in time for Gaon to effortlessly press a kiss to Yohan's lips.

"What was that for?" Yohan asks, when they part.

"Nothing. I just missed you."

"Mmh." Yohan hums. He seems pleased.

___

"You understand, we are trying to build a system that is fair to everyone. So I can't start with making exceptions for you." Gaon says, out of the blue. Yohan peers up curiously from his journal. "But technically one you're dead, and two there is a legal vacuum right now, as all the laws are being rewritten. So, if you wanted to go outside the property well. There would be nothing to stop you. Just saying."

Yohan never had a problem with breaking laws before, yet he seems to have been holding back. Gaon thinks part of that stems from the fact that Yohan doesn't want to cause trouble for Gaon, and his new functions.

Yohan only snorts. "Duly noted."

Gaon must have guessed right though, because Elijah reports that she notices Yohan wandering out more and more often. When Gaon asks Yohan about it, he simply shrugs, "People all wear masks anyway."

But there is something, a glow on his cheekbones, a sparkle in his eyes that tells Gaon that he is enjoying this newfound freedom.

He tells Gaon about the nice spots he discovers. Sometimes he takes him there, too.

_

"What's that?" Gaon eyes the package on the kitchen table.

"Some old lady gave me fish." Yohan sounds so bewildered at the memory that Gaon has to bite his lip not to burst out laughing. He fails.

"I don't see what's so funny about it." Yohan grumbles, but the corners of his mouth curl upwards.

From there on, they often get fresh fish.

_

"I'm starting to understand what you mean," Yohan says one day. "About people."

___

That isn't to say there aren't any bad days. One time, when Gaon gets home, he finds Yohan shirtless, essentially tearing open the floor and the walls with what seems like an ax.

"What are you doing?" Gaon has to yell over the rhythmic noise.

Yohan doesn't even register he's there. Gaon notices there are small, bleedings cuts everywhere on Yohan's bare skin, from the splinters of ceramic and wood.

Yohan brings his utensil down once again, shards flying when it hits the ground.

"Stop!!" Gaon yells, and he surges forward to catch Yohan's arm. Yohan halts and finally seems to remember himself as he takes in Gaon's presence, Gaon's hand on his arm. "Stop," Gaon repeats, softer. "You're hurting yourself."

Yohan exhales a shaky breath and lets the ax fall to the floor.

"I hated the pattern," he states eventually as if it explains everything.

Gaon studies him. He doesn't press.

"We'll redecorate," is what he answers after a beat. He can wait until Yohan is ready to talk. They have time after all.

___

"I used to hate the whole house," Yohan says that night, unprompted, his voice so low Gaon almost misses it. He's facing away from Gaon.

Gaon has abandoned the guest bedroom a long time ago, so late-night discussions are a common occurrence, even more so than before.

Yohan turns to Gaon, settling on his pillow. It's so dark all Gaon can see is a tiny fleck of reflected light in Yohan's pupils.

And Yohan begins to tell Gaon about his father.

Though Yohan relates everything very factually, Gaon feels it all. Resentment against an adult who should have done better. The helplessness of a young Kang Yohan who didn't know better. A strong desire to protect said Kang Yohan.

But Yohan doesn't seem to want him to do anything but listen. So Gaon tucks those emotions close to his heart, and does just that. He will keep and treasure all the ones Yohan is willing to share, good or bad, even the ones Yohan probably had had enough of for a lifetime.

Yohan finds Gaon's hand in the dark and entwines their fingers.

"I don't hate it anymore."

Gaon could cry. He just holds Yohan's hand tighter.

_

The next day, Gaon brings home a booklet with different shades of color and patterns.

"For the walls."

___

Sometimes it's Gaon, who wakes up and feels blank. Like the world isn't enough for him to go on.

He turns to the side and sees Kang Yohan, and reaches for him, and when he can touch him, when he meets Elijah at breakfast, he feels himself coming alive, alive enough to get through this day.

Weirdly enough, on days like these, Yohan never fails to suggest watching a movie in the evenings.

He always seems to know.

___

"I'm sorry," Gaon whispers sometimes.

Yohan hears him every time. He doesn't need to ask what for. Every time he says the same. "I forgive you. Do you forgive me ?"

Every time, Gaon's answer is the same.

"Yes," he whispers. Of course.

___

One day, Yohan asks, "How is the restructuration process going?" And Gaon almost walks into one of the marble posts. Innerly. Externally he maintains his composure and fills Yohan in on what they have been doing. Yohan wants to know every detail, asking very specific questions Gaon answers as best as he can.

"I could use your help," Gaon says. "If you wanted to."

___

"How's Yohan?" Jin Joo asks casually, and Gaon spits out his coffee.

"I— What? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh please. You were a zombie that day. A walking corpse," she gestures. "And two days later wham bam color is back in your cheeks and you're fine again? tsk tsk tsk," she waves a finger in Gaons' face. "I'm many things Kim Gaon. An idiot is not one of them.

"So it seems." Gaon answers cheekily. They had never quite been as close as they could have been before, their relationship unknowingly strained by the many strings pulling on both of them. Now though, Gaon can definitely say they're friends.

"Kim Gaon!" She slaps him on the back.

"Aah, I'm joking, I'm joking. You could drop by sometime," he says, more seriously. "He would be pleased to see you I think."

"I'll think about it." Jin Joo says.

________

The last days before Yohan and Elijah travel to Switzerland are no more no less eventful than the ones before. Gaon isn't scared this time. He doesn't feel as broken anymore and he knows it's not goodbye forever. It's not goodbye at all.

"If anything happens" Yohan searches Gaon's face. "I'll be back immediately."

"Nothing is going to happen." Gaon assures him "Just worry about Elijah for now. You better call though!" Gaon calls after him.

Yohan chuckles.

___

It's Gaon who calls Yohan first. He calls for everything and nothing at all actually, no matter what time of the day.

To his team, he's calling his "legal advisor". It's true, in a way, no one knows the law and its flaws better than Yohan.

So it was bound to happen.

"Hyung about article— uh article 17.3 the one who references the codex—", Gaon stutters and continues his sentence without really registering what he's saying.

It slipped out so naturally.

Yohan doesn't comment on it so Gaon almost thinks he will just let it slide, when right before the call ends—

"Hyung huh?"

Gaon can hear the smirk in Yohan's voice.

"oh you shut up," Gaon says weakly, his face burning.

He keeps using it.

__

The first time, Yohan calls, it's to ask how to make pasta (that is not instant ramen).

He can probably manage on his own, but if Yohan just needs an excuse well. Gaon isn't going to stop him now he's found one.

"You have to put in water first. What kind of pasta did you get?"

"Wow thanks." Yohan says, sarcastically. "Some kind of tubes with stripes."a silence. 'What now?"

Gaon laughs. "Hyung, you're hopeless." But he walks Yohan through the steps. "mince the onion and the bell pepper..." "that's right add the sauce" "... perfect."

_

Yohan can definitely manage on his own. but he likes to hear Gaon talk.

"You'll have to show me next time."

___

The calls become more and more frequent as Yohan gets accustomed to it. Soon he doesn't even try to find pretenses anymore.

Gaon spends every holiday over there. Works remote when he wants to stay longer.

Yohan flies back to Korea when Elijah has busy weeks. "She's happy I'm leaving her the place, so that she can throw get-togethers with Margaret and Ellie and whatnot."

Gaon raises an eyebrow.

"I've had Lawyer Ko run extensive background checks on them," Yohan adds.

"Of course you did."

All in all, they make it work.

Later, when Gaon feels like things are stable enough, he packs his things and leaves. He leaves everything into Jin Joo's hands and joins Yohan, wherever they're staying — Korea, Switzerland, anywhere — for good.

___

Much, much later, the Kang mansion becomes well known under another name.

Saint John's orphanage, where the children are well cared for, their scholarship fees paid for by anonymous benefactors. In hopes that there might never be another Kang Yohan.

Only the food is terrible, apparently.

Fin

___

Complete fic on ao3

[emile-hides]

H*lding H*nds Imagines

I am once again making content for me and me alone because I have an unhealthy obsession for BNHA blond boys

BNHA Blond Boys X GN!Reader h*nd h*lding moments

Characters: All Might, Present Mic, Fatgum, Twice, Aoyama, Ojiro, Kaminari, Bakugo, Honenuki, Monoma, Mirio

All Might

Knuckle brush

You handed him things before

Stacks of papers to grade, coffee after a long day, a napkin when he goes into a coughing fit

But something about this time turns his face a deep red

He withdrew quickly, in a jerking manner that dragged more attention than you’re sure he meant it to

He cleared this throat and thanked you quietly before shuffling off

It took a few moments to really set on you

You’d made contact

Such little contact you’d barely even felt it

He was cold, his skin rough and calloused, wrinkled and dry

How you managed to notice so much with such brief contact is astounding

And also incomparable to how much he noticed

He’s thinking about it all day, glancing at where the contact was made, shuffling, flushing to himself, holding his knuckles to his lips

Do it on purpose next time you hand him a stack of papers and he’ll drop them

Present Mic

In a crowd

It’s LOUD

You and Hizashi are trying to get home after a live show

The crowd is huge and still hyped from the concert

The quarters are tight, the space is limited, and without his towering hair spike it’s hard to keep track of your loud blond

Eventually a strong clasp from a hand horribly decorated in rings, fingerless gloves, and black nail polish claps on your wrist as your continued to be pulled though a crowd

When the world finally starts to calm and you have room to breath his hand slides to connect to your palm

Fingers intertwine with yours as a series of “Y’all good?”s start, followed quickly by an excited narration of the chaos that just ensued

He’d taken your hand so causally you barely even noticed

The two of you walked in a much calmer crowd, hand in hand, as Hizashi randomly picked bystanders out of his vocal range and made up their life stories to tell you

Fatgum

Big hands

You laid idly on the couch in Fatgum’s office, the interns long sense gone home

A pile of paperwork blocked your view of your hard working hero as he sat at his desk

You slumped and slid off the couch, boredom rising as you phone lie dead on the table nearby

A loud groan drives a “Just a bit longer, gumdrop” from behind the piles of unfinished work, a bit longer could be years for all you cared

Sliding across the hardwood floor on your back, you found yourself beside Taishiro’s desk, looking up at him from an angle you were rather use to

He was focused, with a smile still on his face as he worked, writing with one hand, the other causually turning Takoyaki in the grill built into his desk

You sat up, watching quietly. He was typically pretty observant, but he may not yet have noticed your approach

When his hand stopped turning and released, you took your chance

Both your hands snatched his wrist, sitting up a bit to rest yourself on his lap, you examined his large palm

He chuckled, “What’cha doin’, cupcake?”

His hand was massive in your own, enough to make anyone feel like a child. It could engulf you, hold half your torso and still have a pinkie to spare

You pressed on his palm, he hummed and returned to work, leaving you to admire as you pleased

His knuckles were scarred, several gashes and scrapes from punching at materials harder than even his fat could handle

Old burns from cooking, white spots on his finger tips from a time before he learned patients

You leaned back on him, holding his hand in your own, and watched him work

He seemed much more blissed from your company

Twice

Not enough hands

Jin’s a very physical person

He hangs off you every chance he can get, coddling and loving on you

He finds it annoying

So it’s not surprise as you two settled down for a movie night he was instantly on your lap like a cat

He lays over you like a blanket, limbs tangled every which way, head on your chest, looking at you more than the movie

One of your hands lay idly by your head, that one he has his own over, fingers tangled messily, almost uncomfortably

His other arm trapped under you, a hug from below, resting also uncomfortably against your spine

Leaving your free hand to tangle in his hair, a rare sight to have his mask off, though it probably wouldn’t last the whole movie, it should be cherished until then

When you notice his staring at you more than the screen, you choose to join him

You slide your hand from his hair to his cheek, he leans into it with the most lovestruck puppydog look a man his age could muster

He then starts to fidget around, moving like he’s stuck

It doesn’t take long from there for him to start getting frustrated with himself, splitting an argument for two between just him

You gently lift his head to regain eye contact and ask what’s wrong

He nearly starts crying

“I want to hold your cheek too but I don’t have enough hands!!”

He’s not willing to remove your hand from his hold or pull his other arm out from under you to compromise his own needs

He does eventually start crying over his lack of extra limbs to love you with

Aoyama

Standing ovation

Roaring applause rippled thought the auditorium

It wasn’t a big show, or a big stage, but it was your first written play, and seeing it go over so well was enough to bring a tear to your eyes

You joined the audience in standing to applause as the actors took the stage for the final bow

Only the lead, your star, wasn’t there with them

You blinked once, twice, three times before panic set in

There’s no way Yuga Aoyama would miss the chance to stand center stage in a spotlight. If he wasn’t on stage something must have happened

You tried your best not to look around too fervently, not wanting to startle anyone else

When a hand clasped yours

“And let’s not forget the playwright~✨”

Before you could question how he said that with his mouth, you were dragged onto the stage by your previously mentioned star, with his own mic in hand you don’t remember giving him

He held your arm up above his head as he runway walked his way along the stage, you closely in toe

You were going to go on stage eventually but you’d planned to be a lot more quiet about it, when more people had left early not wanting to sit though the applause

But instead, here you were, center stage, hand held high like you’d just won a boxing match by your own and only Aoyama

How he could stand being this bright all the time way beyond you

For now though, it was rather nice 

Ojiro

Lost and found

You stepped out of your class stretching, ready for a well deserved lunch break when you heard your classmates muttering

“Isn’t he from the hero course?”

“What’s he doing?”

Being nosy wasn’t usually your strong suit, but the mutterings has peaked your interest

You followed the eyes of those speaking to find a blond boy sitting in the floor of the hall, knees pulled to his chest to keep his legs from disrupting the flow of traffic, with his tail resting over his feet to protect them from being stepped on

He smiled and gave a light wave to your class as the dispersed

You alone approached him, curiosity peaking. Why was he sitting out here in the hall?

When question he very sheepishly answered, “I, uh.. I got lost on my way to class”

There was several things wrong with that

Number one being, he’d been at this school half a year now. He has one classroom, a big classroom, in the hero course. It’s not easy to miss??

Number two, it was noon. Lunchtime. He has one classroom. How long had he been lost???

These questions had answers and he was, while slightly embarrassed, happy to share he had, in fact, been lost all morning. Not just in finding his class, but also in finding the exit to the building, any teachers he knew, or his phone to call for help

You began to feel sorry for the guy, as this seemed to be a common occurrence in his daily life

With a sigh, you offered your hand to help him up

It was lunch, for all courses, so surely he’d see his hero course classmates in the cafeteria. No one turns up Lunchrush’s food after all

He smiled and took your hand, lifting himself from the floor with a thankyou

“I’m Ojiro, by the way. You are...?”

He was rather polite to talk to the entire walk, his grip on your hand was soft, gentle, and his smile never seemed to waver

Kaminari

Swing yer partner round and round

“Oh this is my JAM!”

Mina excitedly turned up your shitty little radio before kicking herself up off the floor, grabbing Sero all in one quick motion

The two danced horribly off beat, you quickly guess Mina had never heard this song before in her life, just wanted to get moving

“Come on you two, it’s dance break time!”

You found yourself enraptured with her energy, already forgetting the homework you all were doing

Kaminari took your hand much like how Mina took Sero’s and began to dance just as off beat and spuratic as queen pinkie had

You laughed, stumbling with every step, same as the others, the giggling energy filling a previously silent room

Denki’s fingers dug into your knuckles as he smirked, suddenly spinning on his heel and dragging you with him

The two of you became a tornado in your tiny dorm room, barely keeping from knocking into your tea table as you spun like a couple of children

You could hear Mina cheer and laugh, a brief glanced told you Sero was recording this silly moment

You looked across the way at your dance partner

Spinning, laughing his head off like this was the most fun he’d ever had, eyes closed, caring not for his surroundings

You decided to let go

The momentum sent you both toppling, you safely into Mina, who was more then ready to catch you

Denki got the much less desirable aforementioned tea table, which sent him toppling backwards over the also aforementioned homework

If you all could have laughed any louder, you would

Bakugo

Sweaty hands

You always knew when Bakugo was going to hold your hand

He may think he’s smooth, wiping his hand on the pocket of his pants before reaching behind himself to grab at you

But you’d always notice

It was a good indicator you were walking too slow for his liking, or the area up ahead was crowed, or that he simply felt you were too far away

You couldn’t initiate holding hands, when he didn’t actively want to be in contact he’d keep his hands shoved deep in his pockets

So you just had to wait for him to wipe himself off and reach for you

You were free to wrap yourself around his arm whenever, though

He’ll look pissed, but won’t say a word

And if you move away, he’ll wipe his hand on his pants, and offer it to you, a silent plea for you to come back

Honenuki

Magic hands

You stretched out over the couch of the 1-B common room with a whine, the rest of your class in a similar state

Training was hell today, sparing with class 1-A was never a joke, and with Monoma egging the whole game up to be more than it should have been, it all just escalated to a point you all wish it hadn’t

“Alright, next.”

Honenuki, a godsend, your blessed angel, helped Tsuburaba off the second common room couch, his typically wide eyes closed and relaxed as he wobbled his way across the room

You happily took his place, stretching out on your stomach before your classmate with the magic powers of massage

His hands pressed into your back and you instantly relaxed, letting out a low hum as you snuggled the pillow under your chin

Honenuki returned your hum, his hands pressing into all your tenses spots, almost instantly releasing them from their knots

You’d probably have fallen asleep, if it wasn’t over so fast

He had the entire class to get though after all, though he hated to rush an art form

You took his hand as he helped you stand, the actual minute of his touch enough to wobble your legs

Kissing his knuckle and thanking him for sharing his magic, you found yourself plopped peacefully on the couch beside Tsuburaba

Honenuki chuckled at you as he called next, happy to be of service

Monoma

He’s showing off

You’d known for a while now Monoma didn’t know how to shut the fuck up

He’d brag about anything, over anyone, to everyone

He’d always loudly bragged about how much better his class was, how much stronger his friendships were, how absolutely amazing his partner was

You being said partner didn’t make said bragging less annoying

The two of you had been together less than an hour and he was already boasting about your perfection to all who would hear

Some genuine, loving, almost gaggingly sweet comments

Others just to rub it in the face of class 1-A as much as possible

A week into this relationship and people were starting to think you must be come kind of god with how Monoma spoke about you

You’d been on two dates with the guy

Now here you were, holding his hand on the walk to class, and regretting every step

As every single person who passed must take note of the fact you were holding his hand

And also must be aware how blessed he is to be holding your hand in return

And really you started to understand the concerned look Kendo gave you when you told her you’d agreed to date Neito Monoma

Still his words were genuine, no matter how they came across, and he truly had a million and one things to say about you

So you could hold though the embarrassment his overexcited bragging may cause

He just wants to show you off

Mirio

Quietly

You sat by his bed side, holding gently to his limp hand

Moments ago he was inconsolable, crying and screaming his lungs out

His quirk gone

His teacher gone

Everything he worked so hard for seemed to vanish in an instant

His grip, still so strong, had left your hand bruised, circulation cut off

It wasn’t a concern you really had

Sleeping, his pain was still so obvious

Bags under his eyes, dried streaks of tears still down his keeps

And your hand still tightly gripped in his

What would happen next, where he would go, who you all would become

They were all problems for the future

Tomorrow you could work on a solution

Tonight, you could hold his hand

[persephoneyss]

Doomeds.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x f! Reader. Ft. Bts.

Genre: Yandere, dark themes, anguish, suspense.

Summary: ❝We are doomeds, wandering in eternal suffering.❞

Warnings: Yandere behavior, obsession, stalking / stalking on cameras, humiliation, unspecified forced marriage, n*n-c*n explicit sexual relations (on the reader), abuse of power, implicit murder, drug use, kidnapping, hitting, manipulation, dating previous trauma, alcoholism and depression (in Yoongi), accusations of infidelity, dub-con (in Yoongi's case), the reader is in school but is of legal age, death threats, really strange facts. Possibly this would qualify as dark fantasy since everything is so unrealistic.

Number of words: 10,000+

︙Author's note: *sighs* This is the longest fic I've ever written, and I honestly don't know how it turned out because I didn't read it twice like I always do before publishing it. But my beautiful baby helped me correct, I hope you enjoy it and please read the warnings well, I do not want lawsuits. Thanks for being here!

(Sorry for any mistakes, my first language is not English and I am not fluent either.)

Puedes leer este fic y más aquí en español.

If they ever had to ask the reality of events it would be ... Unbelievable. Thinking of how just a simple action changes everything in an already established and perfect environment.

A life.

Your minutes, hours and days were the same under your criteria and eyesight, you study in the mornings, you work in the afternoons and you attend to your homework at night. It was a good routine that used to be repetitive at times, it was fun to follow, even more so in your part-time job.

You could meet many people working in one of the best cafes in the city, your classmate insisted too many times that you work with her saying that could recommend you and you should not even pass a test, they would only accept you for her.

It was a good opportunity and you accepted it with a smile, although she was long gone from work, you were still grateful for the good salary and health insurance that they gave you every month.

"An American coffee with a spoon of sugar and a green tea cake with cream on top." Your mouth and hand move in sync, the client nods silently. You smile, pointing out other details before asking what name you would give the order.

With a sigh, he name came out like a gust of light wind. "Min... Min Yoongi."

You write his name on the screen, the little receipt paper comes out of the machine. You hand it to him by brushing his hand with yours, strangely cold and pale. A chill runs through you but you ignore it, continuing with your work.

"Good Morning _____!" One of the employees greets you kindly, you correspond still concentrated on serving the mysterious stranger's coffee. "Do you have a request for me?"

"Oh, uh... Yeah, this is for table four."

Yun smiles taking the tray with Yoongi's coffee and cake, arriving at his table. The man's expression can be dazzled even under his black mask that covers half of his face, his eyes look for you before colliding with you. YYou refuse to play along, continuing with your work, you had a lot to do and wasting time flirting wouldn't really help you make money.

However, it became pointless trying to ignore him when he kept coming back day after day. Week after week. Tormenting your head, Yoongi was not the first nor the last handsome man you would see coming often, your work establishment was literally in a strategic area and not cheap, you knew that many men and women with money frequented them to drink a coffee or eat some delicacy, even sometimes they only came in to sit for a few hours attending to their affairs over the phone.

It was fine, it was comfortable. You weren't expecting too much, sitting behind a counter, always having to fake a smile despite being tired.

Perhaps it was the constant visits that led you to start a conversation with him. You had about an hour of rest, you prefer to spend those few moments sitting in front of the window of the premises eating any cake that was a few days before expiring to avoid paying for consumption, you felt comfortable in that place that seemed so far from all the other clients.

Until his voice interrupted once, he seemed as calm as ever. His gaze lost from you elsewhere avoiding making contact with you, nervous apparently. His rough and austere tone was changed to a bolder and lower one, asking if he could sit next to you for a few minutes.

"Sure, sit down... he's not busy." It was your answer without having any problem in sharing your place so secret, so comfortable. It was still just as safe even with him present.

And in much the same way, everything became a silent routine. You heeded his order, you took your rest next to him and then you both left at one point. The talks became more common, he being the first to ask about such insignificant things as the rise in the market in the country and how prices should start to rise in coffee as well.

You laughed, you really did it by getting his attention and sharing your reaction.

They both started laughing at how strange it all started, and it was always the perfect anecdote to tell their friends about how they met.

Everything was perfect, like a painting by a great artist, what you would see would be beautiful and cheerful colors, adorning both of you possibly holding hands with a smile and a loving expression from the man who was now your partner. Her pale skin and angelic face represented on beautiful thin paper, presented to the world as a painting that reflected a symbol of love between two souls met in a casual cafe and who wanted each other so much. Too much.

Yoongi was the clear representation of an ethereal person, casual and elegant, polite and kind, protective but not possessive. Simply to the target.

Your routine didn't change much after starting your relationship, you kept walking to your school in the mornings, you attended the cafeteria in the afternoons and you rested at night. Perhaps the only significant thing that you would get out of your boring schedule was your boyfriend's proposal about moving with him to the house of his best friend, almost a brother as he described it, and avoiding paying for your little apartment. You had made one and a thousand excuses, making Yoongi shut them all up.

"Jin is my brother, he would never take advantage of us. I already mentioned the proposal, about you... I have been living there for a few weeks, I assure you that you will be like family."

Family?

Your face relaxed for a few seconds, you had abandoned that feeling and sensation long ago since you moved from your home in your native country. Your mother used to call you every night but little by little that habit was lost, she also had her own problems and being aware of you as if you were a child was ridiculous.

"It's fine." It was your final decision, nervously you moved your hands in the air explaining what you would not accept.

Do not invade your privacy.

You had spent days thinking about how to introduce yourself to them, because apparently there would be more than just Jin, Yoongi and you in that house. Your things were scattered in boxes, you stood in the middle of the almost empty room still nervous about meeting new people and friends of your boyfriend.

That they were now family. Literally family.

The moving truck was parked in front of a large house, it had two stories and an incredibly large garden. More like a forest than an ordinary garden, you got out of the car trying to clean your clothes as much as possible and look presentable. Although it was difficult when your whole body was covered in dust after lifting the boxes.

"I'm not ready, Yoon." You say, containing your anxiety that vibrates to the surface of the skin within you.

Her hand gently brushed your cheek, giving you a bit of reassurance. "You look beautiful, they will accept you anyway." Her lips came up to yours, giving you a quick and soft kiss. "I just remember that I love you, and I know all my brothers will too because you are perfect."

You thanked the little compliment in a whisper, the door of the house opened just after the two of them left, you automatically showed a friendly smile approaching the first person to leave. He was a tall and rather handsome man, he seemed very well dressed to be indoors on a Sunday, more like he was going out to an important business meeting. He looked flawless and elegant.

"The suit was not necessary, Nam!" Shouted your boyfriend behind you mocking, the man laughed showing all the charm of him to your eyes.

"I'm Namjoon, Yoongi's friend. Nice to meet you... _____, right?"

"Yes, it's me. Sorry to see me so disastrous, it was a tiring day with the move."

Namjoon seemed like a very nice and incredibly understanding guy, his presence made you want to meet your boyfriend's other friends. You opened the door entering the house after Yoongi asked you to find your room to start carrying the other things, Namjoon stayed behind to help him, leaving you alone on your unknown route. You walk all over the place and you are surprised that you only walked through the living room, your eyes straying to a noise in the kitchen.

Curious.

You ignore it, continuing your way up, you read every name on the doors. Jin, Namjoon, Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook. All written brilliantly on each different door, you walk a few steps to one that says your name and you thank it with a sigh.

You weren't surprised by how big it was, everything inside that place seemed to be exorbitant and out of the ordinary.

"Oh, it must be you." You are surprised to hear a voice behind you, you turn around in fear before remaining calm. You recognized her face from a photo Yoongi had on her phone.

"Jimin?" You ask with fear of being wrong.

"It's me, it's nice to finally meet you. Jin-hyung said you're moving in a few days, I didn't think it would be so soon." His voice seemed to be calm but there was a hidden question. Why? Why were you there?

You take a few uncomfortable steps back. "It really was, but ... I thought it would be better to do it today that I don't have classes, plus Yoongi doesn't work this day and it seemed like the right thing to do. I'm sorry if bother you."

"No you don't. it's okay, Welcome." With that one simple word he left.

You thought you would have a longer talk with him but you weren't expecting too much, they didn't even know each other and you plan to chat with him like they were old acquaintances. Well, naive.

It seemed strange to you that no one else showed up in the whole house, even when you were uploading the last boxes of the move no one seemed to be a little curious to meet you. Aside from the already friendly Namjoon and the reserved Jimin.

"Yoon" You get his attention, he smiles at you taking the sheets out of your suitcase and making your makeshift bed ready for the night. "Do your friends work today?"

"I guess so, they really don't spend a lot of time together or at home." Explain without noticing your downcast face. You nod, putting the issue aside and concentrating your eyes on arranging your clothes. "Hey... Okay, you can meet them all at dinner today."

Your chest clenches in anguish, "Dinner?!"

"Yes, darling. It's the only time they meet all day, when Jin-hyung cooks for us especially on days like these where we have pleasant surprises."

You purse your lips annoyed, Yoongi smiles kissing your forehead so carefully and lovingly that it melts your senses. The mere presence of him made you want to continue with him forever, you relax for a few seconds hugging his body in silence. They both stay like this, with nothing to say but telling each other everything at the same time.

The thought of ever letting go scares you.

You wait several hours, still sitting in the same place where Yoongi left you. You should be presentable for dinner, you take a quick shower before running to change into a nice comfortable dress, you try not to overdo it but also not show disinterest. From the stairs you hear everyone's mixed voices, chatting animatedly.

"Honey, come here." Yoongi watches you, being the only one to notice that you were peeking in the shadows still unsure of interrupting.

You say hello by walking a few steps until you reach your boyfriend's side, you present yourself the best you can. Everyone falls silent, Namjoon smiles at you just like he did before. Jin interrupts the moment where no one seemed to have anything to say about you, or if he wants to want to introduce himself.

"Today we have a special guest, the dear girlfriend of our brother. I introduce myself, I am Jin the official cook of this family." His body bends down with an exaggeratedly long bow, proud of his words. Jimin rolls his eyes, while his other siblings just choose to tease. "On Yoongi's orders we made her favorite dish, so I don't want any complaints of any kind about the food. I'm looking at you Jungkook."

You are surprised how well everything is going, you feel praised when your favorite food is in front of you. She looked just as elegant, as if you were eating in a five-star restaurant and at a luxurious table with silk tablecloths.

Jungkook still stayed away from the talks, preferring to eat quietly and fiddle with his phone. Hoseok was more animated, asking about you and exaggerating anecdotes that happened with his childhood friends. He moved you that he will still remember all that after years. Namjoon vaguely drew your attention with book recommendations when you commented on your love of reading, Jin quietly continued eating in complete tranquility, Jimin thanked the food and just left.

Taehyung... He seemed interesting to you, he was looking at you all the time with narrowed eyes and when Jimin got up and walked away, he followed closely with a small and almost hidden smile.

You had a strange feeling inside what they called home.

"I-I... I need to use the bathroom." You say goodbye by wiping your lips with a napkin before quickly walking behind them both. Something attracted you to want to know more, as if they were leaving clues knowing that curiosity killed the cat and that you wanted to be the one.

Your steps were quiet, even more so when you tried not to be noticed . You went upstairs listening to their voices whispering and then... An obscene moan was clearly heard, Jimin seemed to laugh in the air.

Your hands shook thinking of opening the door and seeing what was happening. And without knowing it, you had fallen into the same network of attraction as them.

You curse yourself biting your tongue and cheek until they bleed, sure that you were going to make a big and heavy mistake. Minutes later you are going down the stairs back to the table but no one is waiting for you anymore, the table was just as spotless and clean. You are pleasantly surprised to learn that they don't treat you like a guest and that they don't wait too long for you. Maybe they had things to do, however you feel a chill when silence comes.

Where were?

You look around the yard, but no one is outside. Neither in the kitchen and less in the room where you had already walked twice. You catch the sound of drums in your ears rumbling loudly, you close your eyes in a daze for a few seconds until in an instant it goes away, and then everything comes back to itself. You hear their voices upstairs, chatting animatedly for the second time.

"Where were you sweetie? Are you okay?"

You nod still confused. How did they... When was that... You were really fine? You refuse to fall into paranoia and lie down next to Yoongi, as they continue their conversation with each other. Your head keeps spinning with the fresh memories you have, but they seem to disappear second by second and it scares you, you open your eyes without wanting to fall asleep yet but it is as difficult as breathing.

You fall into the dark abyss of sleep, feeling the same chill.

Your gaze is lost in the gray sky, you are cold and your body is swaying. Your eyes move restlessly observing that you are under the snow and a person holds you in his arms through the forest, walking at a slow and safe pace.

It's fine. Are you okay.

Wake up. Yoongi greets you from the door of your now room, you try to regulate your breathing thinking that he would notice your overwhelmed state and he would worry, but no. He is as calm as ever, relaxed even.

"Good morning beautiful, it's time for breakfast. Jin-hyung made your favorite." And with that last sentence she is shifting away, closing the door behind he.

You go down the stairs ready to go, your backpack resting on your shoulder. The table is just as full as at dinner, Jimin seemed very tired trying not to fall asleep, you watch him for a few seconds before looking at Taehyung who ignores you taking his cup of ... Coffee. You approach making him recoil alarmed and disgusted, you check the cup realizing that it is the same recipe that you use in the cafeteria.

Like them?

You look up noticing that, you were uncomfortable, Taehyung takes a few steps away from your body almost leaning against his, still sitting in his chair. You apologize to him making me sigh irritated, still ashamed you apologize again without eating or serving anything, just leaving through the front door.

Your journey is reflective. You forget, dream and recognize, that was the pattern you were following, everything seemed so strange and deep down gloomy, you feel the already casual chill running through your entire body almost like a warning.

Your seat in class was empty waiting, ready for you. Ari greets you, being your table companion and friend.

"Hey, intense night?" She jokes, you look shaking his head. She laughs pointing your neck. "You have... something there."

She frowns even more confused, her face leaves her smile aside and she starts looking at her things until she takes out a small mirror and she hands it to you. You look with horror at a large red bruise painting on your skin, it seemed painful but you had not even noticed or felt it. You touch it still scared and nothing, it doesn't hurt or it seems real.

You take a deep breath before lying with silly chatter, "I had an accident, but I'm fine. I had forgotten I was there, it was nothing serious."

Ari seems worried but in the end she forgets it by returning to the same kind and joking attitude of her, but her gaze drops from second by second to your neck making you cover yourself uncomfortable. Who? It can't be Yoongi, he was always very calm in that regard. You think terrified, your hand goes up to touch it and this time you manage to feel a sharp pain.

You have to cover it with the collar of your shirt so that no customer will notice it and avoid staining the reputation of the cafeteria, you smile nervously taking orders as fast as you can and avoiding looks. Yun greets you like every day, arriving at his work time. You spend hours begging for the clock to advance faster, the night sky appears and the doors close, you clear the last counter before you can finally show your neck again and breathe.

"That's a big problem." Yun whispers looking at the horrible mark, you nod with a sigh giving the same stupid excuse you told Ari. "You should use a little makeup to cover it up, I think it will help you a lot."

You think about it for a few seconds before deciding what you would do. You bow to him with a bow after he offered to close in your place and finish the remaining work for you.

You come home with a smile, you greet Namjoon who is reclining on the couch in the living room watching something on TV. You wait a few seconds but you do not receive a small or accidental look, you approach a few steps to repeat it again but you only get him to get up and go upstairs closing the door of his room apparently with a door slam. What the hell? You think covering your face with your hands looking for some comfort.

Everything was happening inside you, it was like a whirlpool sweeping away your sanity. Were you going crazy? Or you were just thinking a lot about nothing.

You try to draw a picture of your situation, but the only thing that repeats is the constant painting of Yoongi and you together.

"Yoongi!" You say to yourself with a smile, you drop your backpack running towards his room, wanting to see him after such a day.

Your hopes fade like air, everything within the space him screams 'he', but he is not there. You check the safe time that he should be home at that moment. You hear Jin's voice screaming from below about dinner ready, you sigh losing your appetite at those moments.

You lie on your bed checking your cell phone in case there was a message from Yoongi warning about he delay but nothing. You feel empty for some strange reason, but there was nothing different about it now.

If I had been more attentive and conscientious, you would have noticed that two more people other than Yoongi and you were missing from the table. Jin smiles sitting in his same place leaving your plate not caring without you being there with them, his smile never fades even when all his brothers are sitting silently eating and looking at your empty place so intensely that it was terrifying, he squeezes the cutlery in his hand without wanting to break the tradition in his family.

Dinners are sacred and no one should be missing. There will be no discussions or complaints, that's what the rest of the time is for.

That was what her mother said, sitting at the table in her old home containing her anger at seeing her husband so calm after having been unfaithful once more. Not on the table, not on the table.

Not on the table, honey.

Jimin opened the last bottle with a little satisfaction, poured another glass before handing it to his friend who was only glaring at the ground.

"She's not like that... I know her." Repeating the same stupid prayer for hours, Taehyung rolled his eyes trying to calm his annoyance, looking at his other friend insisting that he help him.

"Yoongi-hyung you saw it yourself, she had that... That mark. you didn't do it, maybe Tae is right and she-..."

"Not!" I scream interrupting what to him were lies. "_____ she's my girlfriend, she's not like that. I know her ... she loves me! She loves me! Do you understand?" Says exalted, holding the shirt of his friend who closed his mouth immediately, Jimin noticed that same reflection of anger in him and knew it was better to leave it for now.

Taehyung pushed the drunk Yoongi away from his side, making him release him and repeat the same phrase as in his state, he tried to believe himself.

The door to your room was opened and the smell of alcohol invaded you, making you look disgusted. You closed your eyes without wanting to see him, his body fell to the side of your bed approaching your body so slowly that the anxiety inside you doubled.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered.

His hands rested around you, giving you that warmth so familiar and comfortable in your gray days. A sob was heard while you lost yourself in your own thought, you watch it melt into your arms crying and without wanting to tell you why.

"It hurts." It's the only thing it says. But... Why?

You wake up. Just like a week ago, days had passed and it seemed like your skin kept accumulating horrible marks all over the place. You even went to consult a doctor but he only insisted that something... Or someone did them with such fury that it was incredible that a piece of skin will not be torn off by the force of his suction.

You touched the last mark that came, it was dangerously close to your crotch, you try to hide the others with makeup but they were still visible at a short distance.

You went down the stairs to see them all again, you greet with regret taking the first thing you find. Your mug had your name written on it, it was a rather curious gift from Jin after your melancholic night with Yoongi days ago, he apologized explaining that he felt bad after hearing all the sobs and apologies. For a moment you thought it was something exaggerated but he kept insisting that he felt bad about himself, not with Yoongi who was almost his brother or with you, with him.

You accepted it without wanting to show your dislike for his selfishness and narcissism, thanking him so softly that he hardly heard you.

The special drink that morning was coffee... Americano. You felt insecure to drink it, and you just put it aside.

Same recipe.

Yoongi looked at you for a few seconds before smiling fondly, and you just looked away, leaving him with a confused face as you walk out the door so quickly that he can hardly feel you.

He sighed before being drawn to Jimin's grin-adorned face, he shrugged, hinting at his silent opinion. She is not faithful to you Yoongi, why do you keep waiting for something good? Only looks at her body, her attitude and who she surrounds herself with, it is a classic of womens. You will know that she is a fox hidden under her sheepsuit, just observing her more and you never leave her.

The marks on your body, your cold attitude made him more and more suspicious and fall for Taehyung's profound words. She bit his lip, refusing to spy on your life away from him... Out of his sight.

But he really wasn't doing anything wrong, just observing. In his now dirty head, everything was valid if he could know the truth.

You did the same thing you always told him on his nights where they stayed up talking about his heavy days. You went to school, to work, and then home. Nothing changed your version.

I try to focus on your friends, there was only one girl you spent more time with in your classes and after them. He researched everything about his life, but he had nothing to worry about after learning that he had a boyfriend. He passed your work, standing outside for hours waiting to see you do something dirty or guilty, but you never seemed to move.

You just served the orders and then kindly said goodbye to the customers. He felt guilty for doing something so low to you, until he saw you.

To you.

Your smile grew when one of the workers who was your partner approached your place in the box to whisper something in your ear, you left your place following him towards the warehouse.

Anger consumed him quickly, refusing to continue standing there observing the obvious, possibly he was being irrational and he knew it but the constant insinuations of Jimin. The conversations with Taehyung, his words, his suspicions, the pleased looks from they when he fell back at his feet asking them to tell him what to do with you.

With his damn relationship.

Where were you and him. Not them. You and he.

He opened the door to your room and started going through your things like a degenerate, something must have made him sure that you were cheating on him. Something, a letter, a note, a gift from him, or a simple cheap jewel.

This was your Yoongi? You were clearly looking at another subject.

"Yoon..." You started, his eyes coldly piercing you. He looked different, he was looking at you but you didn't feel safe being so close. "What are you doing?"

"What do you think I do?" He asked how else he will not point to the obvious, for a moment you thought that even if it was, out of respect or dignity, he would try to deny it or find another explanation for his actions so offensive to you. "Where is?"

"Where is what?" You claim, starting to get angry, his eyes leave you again as he continues searching through your drawers, dropping everything to the floor with thudding noises. You get closer trying to push it away but you only get rejection. "Stop it, Yoongi."

"Not until you say so."

You freeze without knowing what he meant by the latter, you take his arm to stop him but you only receive a push that makes you back away this time scared by the force of his attack. "Enough!" You claim this time by making him look at you with his cold eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about and why you're doing this, but enough."

"Then say it..." You shout again that you don't know what he wants you to say, you even curse furiously making him come closer to support your shoulders with his hands bringing you closer to his face. "Say it damn it! Say you're cheating on me with that bastard son of a bitch!"

You feel the pain of his grip, you sob, begging him to release you but are ignored as he continues to ask you to say so. You refuse to lie, especially with something so degrading.

Jin hears the screams as he continues serving the dinner desserts, Jungkook strangely puts aside his phone for a few minutes to thank him with a small toast and a smile that was rarely seen on him.

"The dessert tonight is sweeter than usual."

Jimin raises his glass with a bright smile, Namjoon adjusts his tie tied perfectly around his neck as he sips from his glass, Hoseok laughs eating the delicious cake with enthusiasm.

Curious, a green tea cake with cream on top.

"It's a shame Yoongi-hyung misses out on dessert." Taehyung speaks pretending a pout on his lips, playing with his spoon with the cream on her plate. "It is especially exquisite today."

"Stop playing already, when will you do it? I'm looking forward to getting started." Jin snaps angrily, pushing the cake out of her sight as he drinks from her wine glass.

Jungkook laughs, turning his phone back on to continue playing as usual. "So impatient, hyung." He says he with a click of annoyance.

Jin rolls his eyes, following her gaze to Jimin who is innocently cowering in her chair. Ignoring how completely obsessed Jungkook is with his games, it really was not his business,for something his youngest friend had his parents, who were too busy with their work, they ran the largest electronics factory in the country, leaving his son in the background just giving him everything he asked for without objection. Always showing a smile when little Jungkook came before them demanding a new console or the best phone.

"It only remains to wait..." Whispering, he released a patient Hoseok. His smile as charming as ever. "For her to decide what to do and then... Plot! She fell into the wrong well."

"I hate when you describe and talk like that, but I can't expect much from a Jung... like you."

However, Hoseok never stops smiling even when anger is consuming his mind causing him to clench his fists under the table and bite his tongue inside his mouth, hidden by his gleaming and visible teeth. Namjoon smiles at her, knowing that she managed to provoke him but that she won't do anything to shut him up.

"Pathetic."

Motherfucker.

Jin breaks the tense silence, shushing everyone with a snap. That silence. Nobody hears anything from you or Yoongi, for a moment they feel the anguish that something bad has happened or that his friend has lost a bit ... The hand. But just seconds later you're rushing down, wearing the same clothes and your face covered in tears. You don't even look at them when you run to the door, leaving a trail of emptiness behind you.

"Hm, intense." This is Jungkook speaking, his eyes still lost on the phone screen of him playing a silly online championship. "She will be fine after hours."

"Jungkook is right, now we must move with Yoongi."

Namjoon gets up walking to your room, surprised that everything seems almost the same as it was before their fight.

He smiles when he manages to see his friend laying on the floor sobbing, and like that children's book called Pinocchio, he feels good being that cricket-shaped voice of reason. Only this time that sweet and serene voice, released one and a thousand blasphemies that would contaminate even the most devout by his beliefs.

He managed to convince Yoongi's easy to manipulate mind, blurting out words almost like a song. Playing with the naive self of hes that still lived and breathes inside him.

You had come home after days of spending with Ari and her boyfriend away from him. You really didn't want to set foot in that house again in years, a small irrational part of you believed that it was all his fault, your real problems started when you set foot in that damn place.

You open the door observing the room in the same way, empty. You try not to make yourself feel ready to go to sleep, without having been able to do it in days, but now you doubted that it would be different here.

You remain static in view of everyone, you had forgotten that at that time they were having dinner together. They only met once a day and it had to be right there.

"Good evening, sorry to interrupt." You ignoring Yoongi's gaze that, he's trying not to get too excited about your return, even though she causes he to euphoric whirl. "Carry on, I'll just go to my room."

"Please no, sit with us."

"I'm not well."

"I insist, sit with us. They were difficult days but I know they can fix it." Jin puts a plate in front of one of the empty chairs, you refuse to sit down but you do it out of compromise.

Everyone seems to be exclusively quiet, dinner was gray, like a black and white painting. Remember the first dinner, where everyone seemed to have so much to say and now that was left behind, Jungkook continues to play with his phone sometimes moving his plate by accident, without touching a single silverware with the intention of eating. Jin eats in peace, so slowly that he is strange. Namjoon reads a book in his hand, eating so cleanly that it's amazing.

Hoseok looks at you playfully from time to time, with a smile that almost makes you smile the same. Jimin and Taehyung seem to communicate silently, they both look at each other with slight grimaces and smiles.

"We can talk?" Yoongi whispers, you feel her breath next to you and instinctively you walk away scared. Still hurt by her actions and attitude, you give your vow of silence by standing up and without saying goodbye, you walk up the stairs.

"How rude." Jungkook interrupts, keeping an eye on his screen lighting up his beautiful face. "He didn't even taste the food."

Yoongi looks at Jin, her oldest friend and the one she trusted the most, seeking some advice. But just gets the same treatment as always, a look insisting that go with you and try to fix her mistake.

However, it was late. You had packed a makeshift suitcase by going down as quietly as you could, exiting through the back door like a thief or a fugitive.

You spent days thinking about your cowardly way of running away, but in the same way you felt better and even more so when you did not receive any message from him. Maybe it wasn't that important to him, it hurt but it also relieved you.

You knew it would be awkward to see him in the face again, but you should go back and get your things over with as soon as possible. You naively thought of forming a friendship, a very distant one, but in the end it would be the healthiest thing for both of you.

"______?" Asked the person who opened the door after you barely managed to ring the bell due to nerves, he was clearly confused.

"W-good morning ... Jin." You greet by taking a few steps back to get a better look at it, you had forgotten how tall it was. "Sorry to bother I just wanted to -..."

"Talk to Yoongi? I'm sorry but he's already better without you, he even met someone new." You were surprised by his austere, sour tone and trying to intimidate you. "And you better go, you are not welcome here."

"No ... No, I-I came for my things but I'm glad to know that it's better now, and that ..." The words stayed in your mouth, almost as if it hurt to admit it. "I was able to find someone, I hope we can be friends. Also with you, I'm sorry I left without explaining or saying goodbye properly."

You waited what seemed like ages for her response, and you expected more than a simple nod of the head, letting you pass without a hitch. You searched your room quickly, trying not to have any contact with any of them for now. You opened the door that had your name on it but you were scared by what you found inside, the whole room had been painted blood red, a very dark color that managed to give you such familiar chills.

"What is this? Where are my things?!" You turned around ready to go and claim but the door closed behind you with a stormy noise. You ran to try to open it but it did not move an inch, you searched the whole room for something useful to help you but it was completely empty, and alone.

You sobbed in fear, not understanding what was happening and why it seemed that the walls were getting narrower every second. You fell to the ground, trying to stay calm and without losing your goal, hours and even days passed for you, you waited to hear at least one noise but everything was so quiet that you had to avoid going crazy, you played with your hands trying to distract yourself and think positive things, you had read many books about stressful situations to know that thinking a lot about those things caused even more stress, you lie on the floor sure that a nap will calm everything down, if it was a nightmare you wanted to wake up and if not , you wanted to dream that it was.

A lock, you hear that particular noise and you wake up. You open your eyes as fast as you can lifting your body, the door was slightly open as if someone was exiting. You scream for help but it closes, you fall back into sadness and despair screaming even more for your freedom.

You didn't deserve this.

You look with regret at the delicious food they left for you, for a moment you think about going on a hunger strike but your stomach demands you not to be so stupid. The same would not change anything. Regardless of manners, you eat as fast as you can, dropping quite a bit of food on the ground in your rush.

It had an exquisite taste, and you could recognize it everywhere. It was one of your favorite dishes, you felt disgusted to compare it to your mother's food, but as magnificent as it was, it reminded you so much of her.

You wait for something to happen, but minutes go by in which you just look at nothing, letting your head fly. Thinking of a thousand things, playing with the spoon and singing in a low voice.

You feel hot from one moment to the next, your vision becomes cloudy and the door opens again. You just stay in the same place, you don't care about anything, not even how they hold you by helping you walk into another room.

"You were right, she is very calm now."

You look at him, their faces so familiar and you try to place them, but your head is flying away at that moment. You close your eyes laughing, and drifting into unconsciousness.

You wake up. You open your eyes and you are tied, you struggle with the ropes that hold your arms while the bed below you makes your body bounce. You touch the sheets realizing that they are extremely soft, you are in an unfamiliar room surrounded by scarlet red, with elegant and shimmering decorations. You try to stand up but your legs, like your hands, are tied.

And you're still quiet because of the rag in your mouth.

You fight the bindings furiously, screaming into the cloth as much as you can get sick of being locked up again.

You think of Yoongi, although at that moment it was irrelevant you wonder where she is and if she knew that she was being kidnapped in such a way, would she help you at least? Resignation covers you completely, fighting the bonds again with such force that you feel like they burn your skin every time you move.

You sob, just as he did one fall day.

Yoongi watches you from the monitor in another room, Jin is talking to Namjoon to the side while Jungkook is still sitting in a corner entertaining on her phone. Jimin, Taehyung, and Hoseok seem reluctant to look at each other despite facing each other.

Remember the day, the one in the past, when he met them. Jimin and Taehyung were already friends playing in one of the children's castles, with their hands pretending to be weapons as they ran around. Hoseok was sitting next to his mother, talking and apparently they had a lot to say. Namjoon did not detach from the side of his father who urged him to go up to the games, while Jin was busy collecting Flowers in a basket that his grandmother was holding.

They were all strangers and even more so he, felt out of place surrounded by so many games and away from home. His parents had freed up a whole day to spend together in a decent park, it was several hours of travel from Daegu to Seoul only for his son to play in a beautiful park surrounded by luxurious buildings.

He dropped down next to her mother, hugging her without wanting to let her go.

"Min Yoongi, we didn't take this trip just for you to sit there all day, son."

"I'm scared..." he whispered, biting her lip and hiding her face in the neck of his beloved mother.

"I see... but the games look so much fun. Run and try them, love."

He nodded still uneasy, walking over to one of the swings where he sat rocking so slowly that he seemed still. He felt hands pushing his body from behind, scared he looked at the boy behind him, he had a smile on his face and waved him with a hand.

"Sorry, I thought you needed to be pushed." He spoke and did not seem at all nervous.

"I'm fine, but thank you..." There was a momentary silence before he interrupted again. "I am Yoongi."

"Hoseok, although my mommy calls me Hobi."

He smiled, offering himself this time to push the swing, they spent minutes like this just helping each other take a walk pleasantly. He didn't even think about it when Hoseok offered to talk to Jimin and Taehyung about how they'll all play together in teams.

Now in the present, he smiled again remembering how he met Jin that same day, he had collided with him when he was running so as not to be caught by Jimin. His older friend was flushed with anger, screaming for her flowers and his dirty clothes. His grandmother teased him a bit making him deny even more, he followed Yoongi for several minutes until the chase because of her desire to hit him became a game.

They both fell to the ground tired, laughing before Hoseok introduced himself to Jin. Namjoon arrived shortly after, curious about the commotion and why he had gotten bored of sitting for so long, as he explained later. Besides that his father didn't have the best conversation starters.

He cried so much that very day when he had to go home again, promising to return soon.

"We have everything ready, are you ready?" Jin stood next to him, his eyes looked at him but he couldn't recognize his childhood friend. The same one that he offered to organize his birthday parties when his parents could not afford them, the same one that he never took advantage of his money to lower it. The one who hugged him as many times as he could when he came out of his therapies after his parents died.

Who was this man?

"Y-yes." He murmured still stunned. He got up, following in his footsteps with his head lowered.

They opened the door showing him, you were distracted biting the cloth in your mouth and trying to move your hands to free them.

Your body felt the same repetitive chill making you look at them feeling their presences so... uncomfortable.

"Enough." Jin ordered as you continued your insistent useless movement, trying to free yourself. "I'm not playing around, stop."

Me neither, idiot. You clench your teeth as much as you can at not being able to say it out loud, you stubbornly keep moving even faster than before. Your hair falls on your face from your busy tossing and you stare at him, challenging his patience and judgment.

You try not to tremble when he approaches you with intentions that deep down manage to scare you. But you continue, the bed moves as fast as you do until his hand falls against your cheek causing a gasp to come out of your gagged mouth.

"Hyung!" Yoongi claims holding her hand to prevent her from trying to hit you again, you feel the particular burning on your right cheek and the tears growing back in your eyes. "Please, no blows. That was not what we agreed on."

Jimin cleared his throat, a satisfied smile on his face, "We never specified anything, actually... Yoongi-hyung."

"Jimin is right, you never specified any kind of restriction for her and us." Namjoon clarified making you look at them confused, it was as if they were talking in terms of employment or contract.

But you had never signed anything.

"B-but they can't do that, they'll never accomplish anything if they force her." He tried to persuade him but Jungkook sighed, dropping his phone to the ground and then stepping on it like it was worthless. "She will just hate them."

"She will do it anyway, if we let her off her or try to convince her to stick with sweet words she won't think twice and she will run away ready to report us for kidnapping."

"In addition to the damages that she suffered here." Namjoon continued to condemn Jungkook, uplifting her surname and her family's status.

"You are in this with us or against us, there is still a free place in the basement for you with chains just as heavy."

Again, the same chill ran through you causing you to cringe in your place. These men were insane, they were capable of betraying each other, and worse, they could possibly also consider shooting themselves in the back when they weren't looking at each other. All for you, as if you were some kind of prize for winning and owning.

After moments that seemed eternal, Taehyung was releasing your mouth as you began to complain about what they were doing, how they dared and demanding freedom.

Really a classic, so much so that it was witty and hilarious that you said it literally.

They forced you to kneel on the ground with your hands on your legs still perfectly tied. More questions filled your mouth not knowing what they were planning, all you could do was look at them so scared it was adorable.

"Uh... Well... I guess one should go first." Jin says, taking a few steps away from your crouched figure.

Jimin stepped forward, standing in front of you causing you to look up from your spot below him.

"What are you doing?" You ask weakly, you try to drag yourself away when his hand struggles with his pants to remove it but Jin holds you in place. Getting on his knees to speak into your ear softly.

"You better take a breath instead of trying to run away, honey. I thought you were smarter... hm?" He laughs mocking your scared face, you refuse to open your eyes and mouth making him stop laughing in annoyance.

Jimin sighs taking your face in his hands so roughly that they will surely leave a purple mark on your skin. He was still dressed, I was hoping I could humiliate you more and then fuck your mouth until you suffocate while his hyung explains everything to you. How it all started, his obsession, his plan, they had planned everything so perfect that it was terrifying, everything monopolized on one board.

Soon as soon as possible you will just be a cute housewife and you will forget your life before that day. Not for nothing did they have a closet full of cheerful and homely outfits ready for you, they wanted to destroy you and then put you back together just to serve them.

You would be his wife, of everyone.

"Come on, little bitch..." Jimin started, reaching over to kiss you on the lips even though you refused to do so. You really no longer had a vote or a word of objection in his plans. "Open your eyes darling, you don't want a stray bullet to land in your mother's skull, do you?" He threatened making you obey even more scared than before.

"P-please don't hurt my mother!" You sob, clasping your tied hands in supplication.

"Oh, we won't.... yet." He whispered kissing your lips one last time before imposing himself on your kneeling body. Her cock came out of her pants, stroked a few times before guiding it to your lips. Your stomach contracted, and you pulled your face away as far as you could before Hoseok held you by the hair tightly pulling you close again. "Take it, baby. Everything will be fine if you just obey."

"I hate them, they disgust me" You whisper before Jin forced you to open your mouth making you take it, you fight for a few seconds but her hips are already moving making you choke and gasp. His moans are so loud they make you squirm but his hands hold your head close to him.

"I told you you'll take a breath, but you're a dumb whore." His breath is hitting your neck directly, your skin crawling trying to distract you from anything other than Jimin's cock in your throat causing you to gag and vomit. "I bet you're wondering why, what did you do, and nothing really. Or if Yoongi!"

You do not look at your boyfriend before, you only focus on Jin who smiles, caressing your body with his hands, almost exceeding your limits. However, what did it matter if he did it, there was nothing you could do for yourself.

"You were only here, I think we all loved you from the first moment we saw you. We spent many nights wondering what was special about you, many of us had dated women before but you... You were so different, you had something that attracted us and it made us go crazy. " His hands squeezed your breasts causing you to gasp on Jimin's cock who moaned with pleasure, continuing his steady and hard rhythm. "Taehyung got involved in the matter. "

Jimin smirked when your eyes went up to him, your eyes showing how angry and helpless you felt. And it was exquisite.

"I bet you didn't know about your beloved boyfriend's background,locked up in a rehab center for alcoholics for two years. Three years taking therapy for his depression after the tragic death of his parents, quite strong actually." His words had such a strong past but from his mouth they came out as if it were not so important. Something common for him. "I'm surprised he loved you so much and didn't tell you."

You cried unable to turn your face to look at him, deep down you wanted to put Yoongi aside and not hate him for this. But it seemed almost impossible when he was there, doing nothing, so calm that it was unreal that he had ever looked at you directly and declared his love to you over and over again. For months.

"He really was fine for a while until we decided to make him fall again, one drink after another... First trust him, then question their relationship and finally make them argue." A laugh left his lips, it was almost uncomfortable that he was the only one doing it. Everyone else was so quiet just watching. "But I can't give myself all the credit, let me introduce ourselves well, my dear."

Jimin walked away from you letting you breathe again, you had almost forgotten that he had been doing that act against you. Your tied hands help you hold off the ground by not being able to breathe properly, you feel so weak that you are about to pass out but you refuse to look weak in front of them.

"Kim Seokjin, son of the best chefs in the country and heir owner of thousands of five-star restaurants, inside and outside the country." His body crouched down, making an extremely long bow. Namjoon stood next to him, with the same smile from the day he met you. "Kim Namjoon, the only and adored son of the best lawyers and mayoral candidates, future presidents if occasion permits." There was a strange tone behind his voice, with a knowing wink. "I thought you can guess what Hoseok's parents do, but I'll tell you just in case. Great psychiatrists recognized for their countless achievements outside and within the country, having a tradition from generation to generation, capable of manipulating even the cleverest mind like yours."

Hosoek smiled at you, but this time his smile showed malice and pride. All that time you were surrounded by people who wielded a certain power and influence, oblivious to the fact that they could ever use it against you.

"Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung... Maybe you heard about their surnames on the news two years ago? Families specialized in medicine, their knowledge dazzles science and biology. Before allies and now both surnames are enemies competing for the market, but who would say that their children would meet secretly and use their same knowledge to retain a precise treasure." His hand stroked your hair causing you to recoil angrily, with a grimace of disgust and resignation. "Well... Finally Jungkook, son of the best technology creators in the country. Capable of creating anything, millionaires obviously, like everyone. Faithful lovers and devoted to he son, giving him everything he wants. " He stopped for a moment and then brought his hand to your ear taking out one of your earrings, you looked at him confused before he opened it showing a tiny device that lit up. "Even creating a more than wonderful device, a tracker of the smallest size."

You opened your mouth completely petrified, looking at each and every one of them. Most of them had a firm and conceited posture, but your eyes only looked at him.

"Were you in on this?" You ask by moving your body slightly, Yoongi only remains silent, avoiding looking at you at all costs, even if it is out of mercy you demand a simple word. "Speak! Tell me! Tell me!" You scream completely out of control, letting out all your frustration and anger with him, just him. It's all his fault. "Tell me now! To finally be able to completely hate them all... Please tell me, I just want to stop inventing and fooling my head trying to justify why you are standing there doing nothing for me" You sob almost exhausted, " Without helping me, when before you said you love me."

His eyes meet yours a few seconds before Jungkook chimed in, completely certain that you were trying to play your manipulation cards to get rid of them. Funny, they had done the same to catch you, their hyung could sometimes be so... credulous. That it was ironic that she was older than him.

"Good enough talk for today." He demanded, causing you to hide your head again in fear. You were so scared, even with the pain in your cheek and jaw from being forced by Jimin, you would never give up on them.

Your mouth felt dry, you couldn't remember the last time you drank water alone. As if they could read your thoughts, Taehyung appeared with a tray with a glass of water and a purple pill.

"Take that away from me." You scream when he tries to put the pill in your mouth, backing up as far as your bound legs will allow.

He sighs bored, as if he doesn't have the patience to deal with it, "If you want water you'll have to do this."

"What is it?" You ask almost breathless from the lack of water in your body, he smiles before bringing the pill to his face to look at it rolling it on his finger.

"Hm... Vitamins." Respond after hesitating. "Everything you need in one compact little pill. It was an invention by Jimin and me, we were hoping you would be the first to try it."

A few seconds ago you remember hearing about the reputations of both families, they were specialists who probably passed that knowledge on to their children. If they knew what they were doing with them, they would be shocked. Your reasoning tells you no, to throw it away and try to run away but your head and body can't take it anymore, they demand water and a rest.

"I-it's okay." You accept, removing the pill and the glass of water from the tray angrily. You put the pill in first, then the water so hard your mouth hurts from the force.

You return the glass silently, eyeing him suspiciously before sitting back down and walking a few inches away. You wait for everyone to do something, but they stay so still as dolls that it scares you, everything about them and their attitudes was creepy.

I wish you had noticed earlier.

And now you feel it, it was not pain, nor anxiety. I was just calm, the noises seem to decrease and your vision does not blur but you feel so relaxed that you do not seem to be affected by any drugs. You could feel it all, but you didn't care.

It was relaxing but you weren't far this time, you remember the previous scenes. When you ate the food they gave you, it was similar but as if it had been modified so that you can remain docile and obedient, but at the same time you know what they are doing.

Your body falls on the bed, you don't even try to get up. Your brain isn't thinking about that, it just gets distracted by the decorations around it, but it clearly perceives one of them nearby. Namjoon is behind your body lying face down, half is on the bed and your legs are still kneeling on the floor. You feel his kisses so desperate on your neck, his hands touching your breasts and stomach trying to lower himself further, anxious not to wait to fuck you as he always wanted and should have been.

You do not fight when his legs open yours with force and speed, you just stand still, thinking with your head glued to the soft sheets of the bed, deep down you can slightly feel your desire to push him and push him away furiously, you want to do it but not you do. You feel so confused that you sob into the sheets in released frustration.

"I thought I heard from you, that her wouldn't refuse anything with his stupid pill." Jin whispers, disgusted seeing you struggle with yourself in search of reason.

"I don't see her deny it." Jimin retorts, crossing his arms with a small victorious smile.

Yoongi stands aside, not wanting to accept this but likewise, like you, does nothing to avoid it while Namjoon sinks deep inside you causing you to writhe overwhelmed and let out a groan of pain, your mouth opens to complain and probably ask him to stop, but he instantly closes again only releasing more gasps and squeals.

They spend minutes with all eyes on you, taking the cock of her friend who abuses your sore pussy from overstimulation, this time you are crying and begging for mercy to stop. Even in your unconsciousness you continue to feel all the pain and also the pleasure that is now almost non-existent.

"S-stop!" You cry between gasps of exhaustion, your hands had been released by Jungkook seconds ago so that you can hold on properly. However, you only use them to try to ward off Namjoon who is holding you against the bed by slamming his body against yours with obscene noises. The bed squirms like you, colliding with the wall in sync.

"A little more baby... Just a little more... And I'll fill you with my cum, so fucking tight. You like that, hm?" Her breath very close to your cheek makes you react, you squeeze your eyes almost suffering from your next inevitable orgasm. You scream making everyone watch you fascinated by how your face contracts with pleasure and pain, you try to walk away when the moment of ecstasy recedes, but he continues to fuck you bareback hard, selfishly chasing the release of him against you.

You spent hours repeating the same routine, sometimes sometimes even more hours than you can remember or count.. Your body was completely covered with bruises and marks not only made by them manually, you had discovered in the worst way that Hoseok had a great fetish to make small cuts to any animal or person that had skin and that glistening blood came out of those wounds, red as hell and as sweet as ambrosia.

A delicacy, truly a true delicacy blessed by God.

Jin could not stop laughing at your overwhelmed face, sometimes he would sit next to you while your body was fucked uncontrollably, watching your face move on the sheets with the constant and hard movements of his friends.

"Do you enjoy it, you dirty bitch?" You knew he was making fun of it, not only because it denigrated your dignity, but also because you couldn't answer correctly and the only thing that moved was your head up and down from the thrusts. As if you were affirming his disgusting words. "You like it right?" And again. "I bet you will enjoy it every day from now on, do you want to marry us, little bitch? Be ours forever, that we fuck you every damn day like that, that we also fill you up that you would get pregnant, you would have our children , and you would gladly. Do you accept _______?"

You did not want to know where he managed to get your last name, nor your full name and less because he thought that after the effect of whatever they had given you, you would really accept being his damned wife.

But he just stands there, watching Jungkook abuse his new power against you and taunt him.

I just wanted to wait for everyone to leave, so I could hug you, heal you, and ask for forgiveness.

He couldn't save you if he was chained to the basement like they threatened to do. He was afraid of his own friends, who looked at him madly when hours before he thought of withdrawing from the plan, Hoseok as charismatic as he always claimed to be able to cut his neck so easily if I took you away from them.

Now, they were doomeds.

The painting lost its color once more.

[plush-rabbit]

Wearing Their Clothes - J.B. + T.S.

A/N: Thank you for the nice comment!! I’m glad you enjoy how I portray the characters!! (the final hc for each is slightly nsfw)

-

Bubaigawara Jin:

It’s no secret that Jin didn’t have the best life growing up and while it might not be talked about, he certainly references it by how close he has to have you. He doesn’t like leaving you for more than necessary but sometimes, it has to be done. During his longer missions, he’s stuck to you, hands around your sides with his face buried in the crook of your neck. He’ll promise to be back soon, kiss the top of your head and tell you that it’ll only be a one-day type of thing. 

It’s lonely without you. He’s twiddling his thumbs, and he’s a bit more skittish for the first hour. He’s snapping back and forth, wondering if you’re okay to knowing that you’re okay, joking around with Dabi, trying to pull a smile out of the grim face to a threatening version of self-pity where he’s stiff and unable to talk for fear of his voice cracking. On your end, you’re a bit like him. While he isn’t a risk taker for fear of damaging his body, he doesn’t have the safest job and the slightest slip can cost him his freedom. You’ll fret around, pull a blanket that still smells like cigarette smoke and sandalwood. Your fists are tight around a blanket, your heart relaxing as you inhale his scent.

Time flies by relatively quick that it’s almost embarrassing that you both were so clingy with each other. He’s giddy to see you once more, bouncing his leg and talking so excitedly that even with the mask, you can see the corners of where his lips would be stretched up, the mask pulling upwards. He’s been away much longer but the shortest of times almost seem more painful due to him knowing that it won’t be long and his rather impatient side tends to show itself more.

You, on the other hand, wanted to do something special for him. There’s no real reason for it, no special day approaching or missed, just something that you want to do for him. You’ve gotten used to wearing his clothing while he’s away and while he’s told you that it would be fine, you’ve never done it in front of him. Now, you stand in front of a mirror, dust against the legs of it, the wood chipper with a shirt of his that fits a bit too tight around you. You pull at the hem of the shirt, covering past where your underwear stays hidden. Your face burns as you imagine his reaction, your hand slowly trailing up your body to curve around your chest. Your bottom lip is between your teeth, the taste of peppermint on your tongue and when the door opens, you turn to greet him.

Jin emerges, happy and bouncing in his step. The mask that is ever present is slowly being taken off in the safe confines of the shared room. Short, pale hair is ruffled from the marks, sticking up in odd directions and laying flat in others. He stares at you, his lips pursed in a low whistle as he’ll click the door lock behind him. His smile is wide, rushing to you and commenting about how pretty you like in his shirt. Cracked lips are on your exposed skin, his hands teasingly trailing underneath your shirt to the soft fat of your tummy kneaded under his calloused fingers. While he is a fan of seeing you in his clothes, to know that you chose to wear something of his close to your body, he’s also needy and lonely, pulling you close and letting the back of your legs hit the bed. His hands will wander, going to grab yours and press it against his sex which has already erected. His teeth will mark your skin, letting his tongue run over the sore spots when your call his name.

Shigaraki Tomura:

Tomura cares for you, he really does but he also has his own goals and while he’d do anything to keep you safe, he also has his own things to do. Given the responsibilities of being a leader, he has his moments where he’s just gone. He’ll be out for a few days, kiss the top of your head and tell you to not get into any trouble. It’s not surprising that he’ll spend the night with you, let his mind wander as he stares you asleep beside him, let out a held breath and look to the ceiling. He can hear people  outside, life that begins and grows quieter as the night goes on and in the morning, he’s gone. 

You’ll find a messily scribbled note on a table, a semi-empty water bottle holding it in place to keep it from accidently falling to the floor. He might have swiped something of yours, an object suddenly missing when you go to look for it but you won’t know until he’s back. You sit on the bed, hands on your lap and you hate to admit it, but you feel a bit empty. It feels awful to say- to even think about it- because you're your own person but you’ve grown so used to his presence, to his touch and everything about him, that you feel alone. You sit on the bed for a few minutes, grabbing the edge of a blanket and running your fingertips across it.

Without him around, you’re able to clean up the shared room, to throw away old cables that are bent or torn with wires peeking out. You’re throwing away old bottles filled with something, at least that’s the part you’re sure about, and you’re making the place clean for him. All he had told you- or written for you, really- was that he would be back sooner rather than later. So, for the few moments while he’s out, you’re going to make the shared room presentable. While digging around, tossing old clothes into a hamper to wash and possibly either toss or donate, you come across a pullover, the sleeves worn and the dark color faded to a muted tone. You cast a careful glance to the door before pressing the jacket to your nose. It still smells like him, sweet like cinnamon and tart like citrus.

A part of him hates to admit it, but he misses you. While he’s more or less passed the need to constantly pick at his skin- only picking at it when in extreme distress- he’s finding his hands going to his neck more and more. He’s more irritable, grown so used to having you around in any type of way. Unfortunately, his irritability is showing, Toga growing teasing for the first few hours, until she realizes that he is actually in distress, toning it down a bit. She’ll sit next to him, unable to find a proper way to make him feel better, only detailing how you might enjoy it if he brought you back something. He’ll give her a stare and she’ll shrug, mentioning how there’s a store nearby with those cute figurines that you like. 

When he returns, Tomura holds a plastic bag in his hand with the handles being picked at, he finds you wearing a hoodie of his, your back to the bed and legs spread, and you look at him with a flushed face, eyes wide and hand placed on the bottom of your stomach. He gives you an amused smile, telling you to continue and that afterwards, he’ll give you a treat. His steps are slow, turning your face to look back at him when you look away, his nails pressed against your cheeks, squishing them together to have your lips pursed. He keeps his eyes on you, his eyes flickering when your hand slips between your sex, hidden by the hem of the pullover.

[alpacaparkaseok]

Book of Soulmates - OT7 Bonus

Hello everyone! Happy Valentine’s day! I know some of you are way ahead of my timezone and have already passed Valentine’s day, but I hope that you guys enjoy this regardless! 

@nochujeonjk​ requested a Yoongi hot & cold au, so I thought that I’d throw together this special little story to wrap up the soulmate aus nicely. hopefully this is alright!

Thank you all for reading, and you’re always welcome to drop in any time. I love hearing from you. Stay tuned for the epilogue to my series ‘Mine’ this week, as well as Jimin’s red string of fate series coming on February 22nd!

premise: how to boys would react with simple day-to-day tasks while managing their soulmate bonds, and how they meet their soulmates

Seokjin - barcode bond

honestly tries not to look at it too much

but there are days when it’s all he can look at

is quite curious about the technology used to scan the barcodes 

when he thinks nobody is watching, he’ll go down to the entrance of the Bighit building and scan his barcode over and over again

he’s a little jealous of the others’ bonds, which seem more personal

but he’s also terrified of the day when he’ll be notified that somebody with his same barcode entered the building

like, how is he supposed to talk to you?

these are usually what he thinks about during boring interviews

but then there’s a day when he’s biking to work

and he’s keeping his head down, just trying to keep out of sight

but he sees you

and he knows

which makes him realize that maybe his bond isn’t so impersonal after all, if he can recognize you without any help of a machine

so when you walk inside a shop and he notices that you do indeed have a barcode bond, which you scan as you walk in, he’s calling Namjoon and telling him he’s going to be a little late

and before he can even think it through, he’s throwing his bike in the bike rack and walking in after you, scanning his barcode

and watches as it declares a match

after that, he realizes he has no clue what he’s doing

but that just makes you smile

every once in a while, Jin will drag you down to the entrance of the Bighit building just to scan both of your barcodes and see them match up

it just never gets old

Yoongi - hot & cold bond

he’s grown up being fairly cold, so he’s used to it

but it’s not the most pleasant sensation

used to take really long, steaming hot showers

but now he just gets in and out as quickly as he can

because he knows that the warmth is only temporary

and he wants you

so when he wakes up one morning absolutely freezing, he can hardly get out of bed.

what he doesn’t know is that you’ve left the country for school, but find yourself in a similar cold situation

Bighit, worried for Yoongi’s health (mentally and physically), set out to find you

it’s pretty easy. a letter, phone call, and plane ticket later, you’re heading back to Seoul just to meet Yoongi and get your body temperatures normal so you can head back to school

Yoongi takes the longest, hottest shower of his life, trying to figure out what life at a warm temperature will be like

but it still does nothing to prepare him for the shock of you does to him

you’re...radiant. smiling from the second you want into the room where he’s waiting for you

and as his internal body temperature soars before settling down to an average level, he just stares at you with the widest eyes

what ensues is a long-distance relationship in which Yoongi claims that he’s cold when you’re gone

you both know that’s not true - after soulmates with this kind of bond meet they have a normal body temperature regardless of distance

but you still cave every once in a while and let him fly you back home to him

the man literally flies you thousands of miles just to cuddle with you for a few days before you have to leave

the boys tease him mercilessly for it

but he just pretends he has no idea what they’re talking about

Hoseok - timer bond

this man strives to be organized - for good reason

he feels like if he’s clean and organized, it’ll make this entire bond easier to manage

he doesn’t very often show how nervous it makes him feel, but there have been a few times that the boys have found him in the studio late at night, eyes closed with his timer covered

everyone is grateful that they don’t have that bond

but Hobi handles it like a champ

he’s smiling when there are only 60 minutes left, because finally, but then he realizes that he’s in the studio

and literally nobody that isn’t authorized is allowed inside

lol you’re totally not authorized

but you’ve also got a package to deliver, which is your part time job as a university student

so when you ask for where you can deliver a package that Hobi ordered online, an intern tells you that he’s in his studio

which leads to you wandering around the Bighit building

utterly lost

and realizing with more panic than you care to admit that you’ve literally only got thirty minutes left before you meet your soulmate

the only thought on both your and Hobi’s mind is how you have to get out

so you take the stairs, when you finally find them with just a few minutes left on your timer

still holding Hobi’s package when you stumble out the doors to find that you’re in a flipping parking garage

who on earth is going to be chilling is a parking garage when they’re about to meet their soulmate?!

Jung Hoseok, that’s who.

he’s debating between driving his car somewhere more central, or sticking around the building

but he’s a fool and dropped his keys

so naturally you pick them up right as he’s running back to grab them, heart pounding out of his chest

needless to say, you get to deliver him the package, his keys, and your heart

0:00

Namjoon - shared pain bond

he immediately apologizes to you in his mind every single time he breaks something an hurts himself

oh he totally knows that you’re gonna give him an earful when you meet

but he’s so excited

like, giddy schoolboy excited to someday meet you

there’s no rush, but he thinks about it a little too much

he’s learned that you must be a little clumsy like him, because it feels like you stub your toe all the time

but he really doesn’t mind

if the boys so much as begin to bring you up, he dies

like the awkward little bean he is

but he also stresses about how he’s supposed to find you

the boys invite him out with some other friends to get him to de-stress

you’re there

he’s there, obviously

and literally everyone else that’s there already is pretty sure that you two are soulmates

so they just watch you two as the night progresses, wondering if either of you will catch on

you literally get up to go to the bathroom and stub your toe on the way out, but Namjoon is so focused on the menu that he doesn’t make the connection. he just frowns a little before continuing asking Jimin what he’s getting to eat

Jimin can’t answer him because he’s laughing so hard

it isn’t until later that night, when you’re at your apartment that you begin to wonder

Namjoon thought you were really cool, and ends up FaceTiming you thanks to the boys dropping several hints

His hands are shaking a little when he pinches his skin, just enough for it to sting

you hiss a little, frowning at your arm before continuing with whatever you were talking about

Namjoon is pretty much out of commission from that point on

so this boy freaking courts you for a couple of weeks before you finally realize that HE’S YOUR SOULMATE AND HE’S KNOWN ALL ALONG

how do you find out?

he tries cooking for you one night and hurts himself consistently enough that you’re left reeling with both laughter and tears 

he’s embarrassed about hiding it from you, but admits that he just didn’t know how to tell you

you tell him that you don’t mind...but that you’re definitely going to use this against him in the future

Jimin - shared dreams bond

the sweetest soulmate ever

with one of the best bonds, everyone tells him

Jimin gets paranoid before he goes to sleep, and repeats “I love you, I love you, I love you” over and over again in hopes that it’ll somehow be translated into his dreams

gets super jealous and grumpy if you dream about guys, even if it’s purely platonic

but oh my lanta does he get so excited and giddy when you dream about beautiful things like soulmates

the other boys are so curious about his bond, so they ask him about it al the time

like, “what did she dream about last night, Jiminie?”

he’s positive that you know who he is, he’s sure he’s dreamt of him and the boys countless times

but he also knows that you probably won’t just show up at his dorm

so he’s dying to have something to go off of, to help him find you

that’s when you dream about your first day of university

he knows that campus

and he’s there the next day, mask on and hood up, flowers in hand

he has no clue what he’s doing

but he just hopes that somehow he’ll run into you

the first day he goes there, he comes home empty handed

instead of being all mopey and sad like the boys expected him to be, he’s even more determined than ever

he’s on campus with a new bouquet every day

on the fourth day, you come running over with your books in hand

he dreamt about this last night 

you’ve been scouring every inch of the campus for him, and heard from a friend that there was a mysterious guy chilling in front of the science building

of course the science building is clear on the other side of campus

so you’re out of breath and frazzled by the time you make it over there, but so happy

and Jimin practically throws the flowers at you, he’s suddenly so nervous

which makes you laugh

and your laugh makes him laugh

and that night you dream about each other

Taehyung - initials bond

ugh this is the worst bond

like, Tae will fight anyone on it, it’s hands down the worst

because he’s met countless people with your same initials!

but maybe fate understands that this bond sucks, because it’s also becoming more and more rare

it eventually just gets to a point where Tae decides to take matters into his own hands

he literally designs his own t-shirt with his initials on the back and yours on the front

fans think it’s adorable

you’re shocked when you see it selling out

soon almost every ARMY owns the shirt and begins the ‘initial project’

you don’t want to tell people that you’ve got KTH on your wrist, because what if it’s not him?

but where there a will ARMY, there’s a way

so tae tae finds out through the grapevine about you

and basically calls you out over vlive

it’s hilarious

staff wanna kill him but can’t do anything about it

but man he just wants to meet you

so with some assistance from ARMY, you guys meet

it’s at a flower festival in Ilsan

tae’s wearing his glasses

and all he can think about is that you look like you belong here, among all of these flowers

so he tells you that, with the shyest, sweetest smile

and you marvel that this is the same man that literally hunted you down using social media and his fan base

you’re still a little skeptical, so you ask him how he can be sure that it’s you when there are so many that share your initials

and he just smiles again

and asks if he can hold your hand while you guys walk around and enjoy the festival

so you agree, albeit a little hesitantly

and as you guys walk around, you realize that you know exactly what he’s talking about

hand in hand, smiling up at him and thinking that he belongs with the stars glittering above you, you realize that there’s no way he’s not your soulmate

he looks down at you and sees that you get it

but he wants to make sure you know it anyway

so he shuffles a little closer and squeezes your hand a little tighter

and from then on, you’re known as ARMY’s soulmate, since they helped you two find each other

Jungkook - drawing bond

obviously, Jungkook loves drawing

he’s very good at it, too

so nobody questions him when he’s off in the corner of the practice room scribbling something on his arm or leg

he jokes how about how you two complete each other because you rarely draw, you write

notes, grocery lists, titles to books, whatever

you write, and he draws.

so if you need to buy apples (they’re on sale!) Jungkook is grabbing a pen and doodling a bushel of apples on his knee

you love it

he mainly loves you

the boys tease him nonstop about it, because it’s so painfully obvious

he’s a goner, and you haven’t even met each other

but he’s so nervous to meet you

and there’s no rush, really

but when he sees Tae trying so hard to find his soulmate, he wonders if it’s time for him and you to finally meet

his bond is the easier by far

and there are so many night where he lays in bed with a pen in hand, wondering if he should just go for it. drop his number, an address, his name, anything

but he never does

he’s so afraid

and he’s so in love that he feels like you’ll freak out when you realize that he’s fallen in love with a person he’s never had any face-to-face contact with

but then there’s this night where all the boys are hanging out together and their soulmates are present (because they’ve all met by this point) and Jungkook realizes how happy he feels

like, he’s genuinely happy. for his hyungs, for himself. he’s lucky that he gets to have this strange little family.

and he realizes that you should get to have this, too. 

so that night he scrawls his phone number out on the back of his hand with a simple note

‘call if you feel comfortable with it’

you freak out

like, fist pumping while also wondering if this is gonna blow up in your face

by the time you’ve weighed all the pros and cons, it’s nearly three in the morning. but you’ve got to call him. now.

so you do, secretly praying that you get the voicemail

but kook is up. of course he is, he’s been waiting on the edge of his bed since eleven pm.

he answers and you realize as soon as he says hello that you’ve fallen in love with this man

which is terrifying, but if he was the one to give out his number, he must want to meet you, right? 

right.

when you do meet, everyone is there. all the boys, all of their soulmates. watching as Jungkook leaps off the park bench and runs to you, and he giggles.

giggles. it’s adorable.

and it’s cute and awkward and a little crowded with all 14 of you, but it’s better than you’d ever imagined.

Jungkook waits all of two hours before grabbing your hand and whispering, “I love you”

so you grab a pen from your bag and smile up at him as you write “I love you, too” into your skin

masterlist

aaaand that’s a wrap! overall, this was the 20th and final installment to the Book of Soulmates! This one was a bit different from the others, since the others are actual mini stories with one member at a time, but I hope you enjoyed!

Happy Valentine’s day!! Love you all! Stay tuned for the fun things coming up! Check my navigation tab to see what’s next!

[robininthelabyrinth]

Spilled Pearls

- Chapter 8 - ao3 -

Lan Qiren’s brother did not outwardly react when Wen Ruohan announced what happened.

He merely stared, face as impassive as a stone washed clean by the river, his posture and position impeccable from the little glimpses Lan Qiren kept stealing of him – he was trying to keep his head ducked and his gaze firmly on the ground, trying to demonstrate penitence, but he couldn’t quite resist looking. He assumed that his brother’s seeming indifference was a mask for the rage he undoubtedly felt, seeing his little brother screw up what would have otherwise been a perfect discussion conference for the Lan sect.

It seemed like a reasonable conclusion, given that Lao Nie was taking up all the slack of reacting with rage without any such mask whatsoever.

“He’s little more than a child!” Lao Nie shouted.

“Little more, perhaps,” Wen Ruohan said smoothly. He was enjoying himself, Lan Qiren thought. “But regardless of how close or how far he is, he is adult enough.”

“He can’t marry or inherit –”

“He shed blood in a night-hunt, and that means he can swear oaths, which is all that’s relevant here. It isn’t as if I married him.”

“He’s sixteen! If someone removed sixteen years out of your life, Hanhan, you wouldn’t even notice the absence!”

“True, but irrelevant,” Wen Ruohan said. “And don’t call me that, Sect Leader Nie.”

“I’ll call you whatever I damn well please, you little –”

“You are unharmed?” Lan Qiren’s brother asked Lan Qiren.

Lan Qiren, who’d been spectating the increasingly fraught back and forth between the two sect leaders, turned to look at him, surprised to be addressed.

“I’m fine,” he said quickly. “I only had a headache, and Sect Leader Wen took care of that.”

“You call me da-ge now,” Wen Ruohan reminded him, turning briefly away from his argument to do so. “Your oath, remember.”

“Does he even remember swearing the oaths?” Lao Nie hissed. “You know how these Lan drink – you and your damned need for control! Just because you can’t get it one way, you have to try another, is that it, Hanhan?”

“Sect Leader Nie, if you really find it impossible to be civil -” 

“If you are unharmed, then we can return to the Cloud Recesses,” Lan Qiren’s brother said, ignoring them both. His voice was as distant and cold as a winter breeze, piercing and lifeless; it reminded Lan Qiren a little of his father, and he shivered. “We will determine the remainder at that time.”

“See?” Wen Ruohan said goadingly to Lao Nie, whose scowl only deepened. “If even his own sect doesn’t object to it –”

“They didn’t not object, they’re refraining from making a statement; it’s not the same thing. ‘Even ten years isn’t too late for a gentleman to get revenge’ – !”

“I should like to see them try.”

Lan Qiren felt a sudden sense of relief, heralded by a bright and abrupt clarity: of course Wen Ruohan hadn’t sworn brotherhood with him on his behalf! He’d only done it because he’d seen Lan Qiren together with Lao Nie, found that the sight offended his vision, and immediately decided to disrupt it. Never mind that Lao Nie didn’t have any intentions beyond the casual mentorship of any older cultivator to a junior – Wen Ruohan was well known for his paranoia, his irritability, his tendency to seize on crazy ideas. And, of course, there was his jealousy, a trait to which he had himself admitted…

A treasure sword used to prop up a table, indeed. It wasn’t about Lan Qiren's merits or the Lan sect’s supposed failings at all. The only table Wen Ruohan was concerned with was Lao Nie’s!

(And that certainly did explain the whole bizarre ‘Hanhan’ thing better than any other hypothesis Lan Qiren had come up with.)

Lan Qiren wasn’t sure it was better, exactly, to be a pawn in a strange game between sect leaders, but it was at least more familiar. As a younger son of a politically minded Great Sect, he was more like a daughter; being used for some scheme by the adults around him had always been his destiny, barring some tragedy or especially indulgent parents – the former was unlikely, the latter he lacked – and so his fate was set.

Of course, it would have been better not to be in a game involving Wen Ruohan at all, but he supposed that there were worse options.

After all, if Wen Ruohan’s primary interest was in tormenting Lao Nie, he probably wouldn’t demand Lan Qiren’s presence in the Nightless City all that often – probably just enough to show that he could – and Lan Qiren would be allowed to continue with his plans for his future. It might even turn out to be something of a benefit. After all, a musician with limited martial skills, traveling all alone, could always use strong friends that were nearby, and the Wen sect’s reach far exceeded that of the Lan sect…

Anyway, comparatively, Lan Qiren disliked far more the idea of being stuck in the Jin sect with its inexplicable devotion to worldly affairs (and when it came to Jin Guangshan, word was that that usually meant literal affairs…), and he would have undoubtedly gone utterly mad in the Jiang sect, with its emphasis on freedom and lack of any rules to explain anything. And of course, regrettably, the Nie sect wouldn't have done such a thing to begin with, secretive as they were...

No, it wouldn’t be so bad, Lan Qiren tried to convince himself. It wouldn’t be so bad at all.

The illusion lasted exactly as long as it took for the leaders of the five Great Sects to retreat to finalize their discussions on business – with Sect Leader Jiang and Jin stepping up to keep Sect Leaders Wen and Nie from each other’s throats, even as Lan Qiren’s brother ignored them all – and Lan Qiren returned to his proper place among the other Lan sect disciples.

“Did he really put you in the Fire Palace until you agreed?” one of them asked, then was promptly elbowed by at least three of his fellows – it was poor Lan Yueheng that had asked, naturally; he was extraordinarily good at mathematics and extraordinarily bad at just about everything else, including both tact and following the Lan sect rules. Lan Qiren had gotten on quite well with him in the past, each one happy to have an audience to listen to their rambling without caring too much if the other side was really listening, but Lan Yueheng was Lan Ganhui’s mother’s sister’s son, the two of them raised together like brothers, and in recent years the latter had a habit of restricting the former from spending too much time with Lan Qiren, the favorite subject of his mockery.

“No,” Lan Qiren said stiffly, and turned his face away in sudden upset. He had almost managed to forget that his new sworn brother was reputed to enjoy spending his free time torturing people, enough so that he had an entire prison devoted to it.

The older brother guided, the younger brother obeyed – what was Lan Qiren supposed to learn from Wen Ruohan? How to be cruel and pitiless, how to hurt people, how to increase his cultivation by doing all manner of dirty things?

Even if he didn’t learn such things, wouldn’t people assume it of him anyway?

“But I heard –” Lan Yueheng persisted, then hissed when someone stepped on his foot.

“No,” Lan Qiren said, stronger this time. “Do not speak behind the backs of others, Yueheng-xiong.”

“Oh. Right.”

Someone muttered killjoy under their breath, but that wasn’t exactly new; his brother thought he was one, and he was popular, so others often followed his lead - and anyway, perhaps he was. At any rate, they all stood around in awkward silence for a little while before someone decided to recount one of the incidents in the main event competition once again, their voice a little over-loud in the silence, and a perfectly anodyne conversation about Qingheng-jun’s performance started up in earnest to cover over all the things they did not say.

That, too, was not new.

Truly, life would be easier if everyone would just listen to the rules, Lan Qiren thought wistfully. The nice written-down ones, just those, and never mind about all the unspoken ones, the ones that everyone seemed to intuitively understand except for him – he tried his best to learn those, too, and to extrapolate from one situation to another, but unspoken rules seemed as changeable as a puff of cloud. It was simply impossible.

In the end, the sect leaders finished up their business and each of them took their leave from the Nightless City, just the way that always happened. Before he went, Lao Nie put his hand on Lan Qiren’s shoulder and said, “Write to me if you ever need anything at all,” while glaring at Wen Ruohan, who smirked back; Lan Qiren’s brother did not glance at either of them and merely walked off, his hands behind his back and his posture straight and tall as a tree. The other two Great Sect leaders, Jin and Jiang, exchanged glances of their own and headed off their own way without a word, choosing, quite prudently, not to get involved.

Lan Qiren saluted to Lao Nie and, slightly more hesitantly, to Wen Ruohan, then followed after his brother. To his relief, Wen Ruohan didn’t stop him, only watched him go, his eyes glittering malevolently - his gaze a palpable weight. It wasn’t quite like the first few times they’d met, where the pressure almost felt like the other man was exerting power on him; rather, Lan Qiren suspected, the weight he was feeling was only the weight of all the new expectations that had fallen onto his shoulders as a result of his new brotherhood. 

The ride home was excruciatingly awkward.

It was not a short journey, and Lan Qiren did not speak to his brother once the entire time by mutual unspoken agreement. He might not have noticed such a thing normally, but his brother’s usually cool aura was positively frigid, driving Lan Qiren to silence even when he might have otherwise spoken on mundane matters such as the weather or travel conditions.

Lan Qiren even suspected that if he had dared to try, his brother might have used the muting spell on him.

Naturally, the other disciples followed his brother’s lead – poor Lan Yueheng looked especially torn up over it, and at one point Lan Qiren found a book on abstruse geometry hidden under his pillow in what was probably a well-meaning gesture of solidarity – and Lan Qiren was stuck in that uncomfortable place where he finally had the peace and solitude he often longed for when stuck in a crowd while also simultaneously feeling awful about it, struck with a sudden desire for the company of his family, however cold it might be.

When at last they returned home in the late afternoon, Lan Qiren knew from experience what to do next: he went straight to the hanshi, where his father was waiting for their report, and knelt in penance outside. If the trip had gone well, he would have helped his brother settle the final matters relating to their trip – putting back anything borrowed from the sect’s stores, registering everyone as having arrived with no one lost on the way, that sort of thing – but since it hadn’t, his duties were limited to…well, this.

It was unpleasant, but then, it was supposed to be.

He waited for over a shichen in unmoving silence. The remainder of the sect tiptoed around him, with the disciples that had remained behind sending him sympathetic looks that suggested that they didn’t know exactly what had happened but were burning with curiosity to find out.

It was already dark by the time his brother arrived.

When he did so, he walked right by Lan Qiren without looking and went inside.

There was no written rule against eavesdropping, although there were several unspoken rules about it that were sometimes but not always applicable, but even when (guiltily) straining his ears to the utmost, Lan Qiren could only hear the vaguest murmur of voices within.

It was only after some time – towards the end of his brother’s report, no doubt – that there was a brief uptick, a surprised exclamation (possibly “what?!”, although Lan Qiren’s father was soft-spoken enough that even an exclamation was too muffled to be properly audible), and Lan Qiren braced himself.

After a little longer, the door to the hanshi opened.

“Qiren,” his father’s voice drifted out. “Enter.”

Lan Qiren got up, a little unsteady from all the kneeling, straightened himself out and walked inside, his hands folded behind his back. He would have knelt again, but his father waved for him to keep standing, frowning thoughtfully at him as his brother drank the tea they had been sharing.

“You swore an oath of brotherhood with Sect Leader Wen?” his father asked, his face frustratingly neutral.

Lan Qiren nodded, then amended: “I do not remember doing so. He offered me a toast, and would not allow me to reject it, and then the next morning, he informed me that we had sworn an oath together and showed me the written version of the oath.”

The paper in question was laid out on the table in front of his father. Lan Qiren’s brother had confiscated it after Wen Ruohan had showed it to him, and Lan Qiren hadn’t figured out a way to ask to see it, though he desperately wanted to know whether they had sworn one of the classical brotherhood oaths or if they’d added their own clauses. It seemed like a thing Wen Ruohan would do, yet the idea had only belatedly occurred to Lan Qiren, which meant he hadn’t properly examined the oath while he’d had the chance.

His father hummed thoughtfully.

“There’s no reason to doubt Sect Leader Wen,” Lan Qiren’s brother opined. “He is meticulous in his schemes. Even if there were, the announcement was public; I would not have our clan be known as oath-breakers.”

“Public and unrefuted,” Lan Qiren’s father said, and Lan Qiren blinked because he almost sounded disapproving – but his father never disapproved of anything his brother did, as far as he knew. “Still, you are not wrong. There are few more decisive than Sect Leader Wen. Once he settled on his course, he would not leave such a gap through which one could retreat, not even for himself…Qiren.”

Lan Qiren straightened.

“You were unharmed?”

He blinked at the unexpected question, the same his brother had posed.

“I only had a headache,” he said hesitantly, vaguely aware from the way his father looked at him and his brother did as well that his answer was not what they were expecting. “From the liquor. Nothing else.”

“Did anything else hurt?” his father pressed. “Your body?”

Lan Qiren thought back. “My upper arms,” he said, remembering. He’d thought it was from the uncomfortable bed. “And my right knee. They were a little bruised, I think, but it went away after Sect Leader Wen shared spiritual energy with me.”

His father frowned and twisted his fingers in a gesture; an array opened beneath Lan Qiren’s feet, and the places he had mentioned, as well as his palms and forehead, began to glow.

The marks on his arms, glowing with the pale echoes of Wen Ruohan’s qi, were in the shape of hands.

(Wen Ruohan had commented on Lan Qiren’s enthusiastic telling of the Lan sect rules while intoxicated, to the point of seeking to hold him down as an unwilling audience. Had Wen Ruohan had to physically restrain him from causing trouble as well?)

“The disgrace was minimal, then,” his brother remarked, and when their father said nothing but dismissed the spell Lan Qiren abruptly realized that they were trying to figure out if he had, in fact, been deflowered, just as Wen Ruohan had teasingly hinted that night. He had not shared with anyone that he had woken up in Wen Ruohan’s bed, too mortified to do so, and now that the suggestion had been seriously raised, he was even more determined never to do so. “Not that that will help the rumors.”

Lan Qiren hadn’t thought – surely people wouldn’t think – wouldn’t assume –

Wen Ruohan had no reputation for liking young boys. He wasn’t even known to cut his sleeve!

(Lan Qiren didn’t know what he himself liked. He’d thought he’d have more time to figure it out.)

“We do not guide our sect according to rumors.”

His brother put down his teacup with a little more force than necessary. “Is it the sale or the price that you object to, Father?” he asked, voice far sharper than it should be when speaking to an elder, least of all their father. “See what I have accomplished for our sect, and without even the official authority of being vested as sect leader! It is just as you taught me! Am I to flinch simply because he shares my blood?”

“It is not what is taken,” their father responded, his voice a little sharper than usual as well, but not by much; he might as well have been commenting disapprovingly on an unfortunate turn in the weather. “But that it is Wen Ruohan who takes. His greed knows no boundaries, his recklessness grows by the year – today Qiren is unharmed and your plans may proceed, but what of tomorrow?”

“Have you thought of any better use to put him to? His role is to serve the sect!”

“As a disciple of the Lan sect,” their father said. His tone was still mild, but his voice was icy enough to make Lan Qiren shiver in a confused sort of fear that he did not quite understand. “Not as a plaything for Wen Ruohan.”

By all rights, Lan Qiren’s brother ought to now kneel and beg forgiveness from his elder, his sect leader, his father, but instead he only shook his head. “An oath of brotherhood goes both ways,” he reminded their father, speaking to him as if they were equals. “Sect Leader Wen announced to the world that he swore an oath with a child – does that not also mean that responsibility for his safety and wellbeing falls equally on his shoulders? Any harm to him stains Sect Leader Wen’s name as much if not more than ours.”

“Are we to let outsiders educate our children, then?”

“One cannot compare a foolish younger son to a brother, voluntarily chosen. He chose it, not us; everyone knows this. Any mistakes Qiren makes will fall heavier on his shoulders.”

Their father frowned deeply enough to carve additional lines into his prematurely aged face. “You plan to use Qiren as a lever, then, and extract concessions for every slight.”

His brother shrugged, almost careless in his arrogance. “If Sect Leader Wen chooses to give me such a handle over him, am I meant to refuse? For all his clever schemes, he is also known to be moody and impulsive, easily lured into rashness…I see an opportunity here, not a trap. You chose to give me responsibility early, to have me help you make our sect stronger, greater; that is what I was born to do. You gave me power and I have done well with it, done exactly what you’ve asked me to do. I’ve made you proud - haven’t I?”

“But what of the risk that Wen Ruohan might ignore public opinion and harm Qiren regardless?” his father pressed, not answering. It wasn’t really necessary, of course; he was always proud of Lan Qiren’s brother, no matter what he did - his eldest son was his treasure, the only thing he cared for; it was as fact as undeniable as the direction in which the sun rose each morning. “The Lan sect does not buy riches with blood.”

“I have thought it over, Father,” his brother said quietly. “It is only a risk that he might be harmed, not a guarantee; it’s not as if I am sending Qiren to the Fire Palace myself. And there is the hope here, not of riches, but of glory for the sect –”

“Glory for the sect?” their father asked, voice rich with meaning Lan Qiren did not understand. “Or for yourself?”

“Are they not one and the same?” Lan Qiren’s brother was unmoved. “In the future, it will be mine, and so there is no difference - whatever you say now, that is what you have always shown me. Besides, Qiren will agree.”

Lan Qiren did not take a step backwards when they turned to look at him, though he dearly wanted to. His hands were still behind his back, gripped tight enough to hurt; he suspected when he looked later on he would find blood beneath his fingernails, dug in deep into his flesh.

“Well?” their father asked of him, though his gaze settled somewhere above Lan Qiren’s head as it always seemed to, as different as night and day from the tender and forgiving looks he gave his eldest son even in the midst of their argument. His voice was so cold that Lan Qiren could feel it against his skin like the bitter winter wind. “What do you say?”

Is it the sale or the price that you object to?

It’s not what is taken, but that it is Wen Ruohan who takes.

Have you thought of any better use to put him to?

His role is to serve the sect.

“I do not see what choice there is,” he said dully, his eyes focused on his father’s face just as his father’s refused to focus on his, foolishly still looking for the affection he knew he would likely never find. In his father’s mind, he had only one son – even his objections on Lan Qiren’s behalf, however mild, were nothing more than what he would have said on behalf of any Lan sect disciple. Even Lan Qiren, foolish and bad at people as he was, could see that his father’s primary concern over the approach his brother had suggested was its potential impact on the reputation of his brother and his sect. “I swore an oath. Even if I do not remember it, as a matter of personal honor, I will not allow myself to be foresworn.”

“There,” his brother said, his voice rich in satisfaction. “You see? The choice is made. It is only what we do with it now that matters.”

Lan Qiren bit his lower lip to keep himself from doing something stupid, like asking do either of you care about me at all.

“Very well,” their father said indifferently. “Then it will be as you say. Qiren.”

“Father.”

“You will spend the night kneeling in the ancestral hall to consider the consequences of violating the prohibition against alcohol and the injunction to maintain your discipline. In view of the circumstances, no other punishment will be imposed.”

“Thank you, Father.”

“Dismissed.”

As Lan Qiren left, he heard his father ask his brother to tell him about the riding competition.

He did not ask about music.

[stillness-in-green]

MVA In Memoriam (2/5)

The Comprehensive Account of the Butchering of My Villain Academia

(Introduction and Part One, Episode 108: My Villain Academia)

Part Two, Episode 109: Revival Party

Chapter 224 – Revival Party

• Mr. Compress’s side comment about how the distance Re-Destro wants them to travel means he must know they have warp capabilities. Also shortens his subsequent line, removing the bit about how their position has been locked onto, leaving only the marveling about the dude on the phone being the kind of person who has access to a satellite camera. Not a major cut, but it did strip out a bit of reiteration on how very Seen the League is. The warp line is another nod to how the MLA’s been doing their research—in particular, it ties in nicely with RD’s observations about the Noumu. He talks, there, about something Dabi said after the High End fight, which means he must also know that Dabi was warped out by an “Ujiko-san.”

• Also Mr. C’s observation that they haven’t broken Machia yet, and his posed question about what to do. Mr. Compress, I’m so sorry that you’re so wordy and lose so many quips and asides because the anime was set on brutally scything out every line of non-essential dialogue it could find.

• Ujiko’s extremely hilarious, “Listening to Villain Radio is my new favorite hobby,” line. Why would you cut this; this line is hysterical.

• The bit where Mr. Compress has the bright idea to use a High End Noumu like the one Dabi used, Ujiko rejects the suggestion out of hand, citing production woes, and Shigaraki says that he wasn’t going to ask for one of them anyway. Aside from being more cut Compress content (or “Comptent,” for short), it helps center the timeline somewhat at a point where the manga is jerking it around all over; it also shows that the League has been keeping up with news from the outside world. It also shows that at least one of them thought about using the Noumu—and since we know Re-Destro did some rationalizing on that scenario too, it’s good to see that it is at least briefly on the table.           Further, Ujiko provides a few rare details about the Noumu creation process. Firstly, that AFO is normally involved, so his absence makes the procedure much more difficult (though not, apparently, impossible). Secondly, that Hood-chan was the only Noumu who’d actually reached the testing stage. This will be important later, for Ujiko’s agonizing about unleashing them early/Mirko having to fight four of them at once.           Also, I just miss Mr. C’s funny little head wilt when Ujiko immediately turns down his “use some Noumu” idea. Ditto Shigaraki’s blasé shrug and little grin. Again, not to harp on the art too much, but man I wish the anime had kept all the fierce little grins and tight, incensed smirks Shigaraki has through the majority of this and the phone call sequence.

• Spinner’s line, “Without knowing squat about what we’re up against?!” A minor cut, as these things go, but it reiterates that there’s a chance RD is bluffing and the League has no way to know one way or the other, and demonstrates that the League can give Shigaraki some pushback on his decisions without having to worry about getting dusted for the temerity.[1]

• Takes one of Spinner’s lines—“Wait. I get it. Wherever you go, Shigaraki, he’ll sniff you out and hunt you down.”—and gives it to Shigaraki instead. Because fuck Spinner’s growing understanding of Shigaraki and the way his mind works, I guess! It’s especially notable that Spinner figures this out when Mr. C had completely the wrong idea about Shigaraki’s intentions—it demonstrates the way Spinner is gradually aligning himself with Shigaraki’s way of thinking, which we’ll see even more clearly during the War Arc. Also, again, it’s good to see the moments where the League weighs in on Shigaraki’s plans.

• The visual of Twice lashing out at Dabi with his razor-edged tape measure over Dabi’s dismissal of Giran, though all the relevant dialogue was there. Possibly this is because, having cut the CRC bit, the audience has no way of knowing that Twice’s tape measure is razor-edged, so why bother raising the question, “Why is Twice trying to attack Dabi with a tape measure..?” Possibly it’s because showing that attack would require animating movement, and MAN ALIVE, did Episode 109 ever want to do everything it could to avoid animating movement.

• Slidin’ Go’s line about how Deika isn’t usually his turf, but today is a big exception. This makes the hearty affirmative with which Trumpet announces himself a response to Shigaraki’s half-phrased observation about the reason behind the city’s emptiness, rather than a response to Slidin’ Go. It works, more or less, and probably even flows more clearly, all things considered. I’m always sad to lose lines from the vanishingly few named/characterized MLA members we have, though. I like, too, that it hints at the machinations that have to have been involved with setting things up for the Revival Party, and the way those plans were carried out with confidence that Re-Destro’s “bait the League into coming for their broker” plan would work despite the total absence of a response from the League in any of the time Giran was missing/his fingers were cropping up on the nightly news reports.

• A few shots of cameras in the city, which foreshadow Skeptic’s watchful eyes and ability to track the League through the city. In retrospect, this isn’t surprising, since the anime went on to cut basically any indication of Skeptic’s entire plan re: the footage of the League attacking, so why bother keeping the cameras? (Oh, right. Skeptic’s whole thing is cameras and information/disinformation. Skeptic for second-most screwed-by-the-anime MLA member.)

Additions

• Showed Toga having stood back up somewhere during Shigaraki’s explanation of their throw-Machia-against-the-MLA plan. A simply appalling choice. In the manga, she stays crouched down by Twice the entire time Shigaraki has his mask pulled off, because Toga cares about reassuring Jin-kun when he’s in a bad way.

• Rephrased Compress’s dialogue somewhat, also giving him a new line about the MLA’s forces in Deika when the League was still in the hills looking down at the city: “The so-called Meta Liberation Army has a force of 110,000 here.” I assume it was because the scene falls in a different episode than the tactical discussion did (in the manga, they’re the same chapter), so the anime was reminding the viewer of the stakes, but it’s potentially awkward because, er, no, the MLA categorically did not bring their entire army to Deika. We’ll find out as much for sure later, with the note that the regiment advisors weren’t in attendance because they were occupied at the bases they command, but even with only the knowledge we have here, Re-Destro’s statement about his numbers is that they’re scattered all over the country—hence the shot of Japan with a bunch of lights scattered across it to represent said numbers.           That said, to be (briefly) charitable, there’s no particular reason for the League to assume that, and they did discuss the possibility that there were going to have to fight 110,000 people. So it makes sense that Mr. C might state as much when recapping for the audience.

Chapter 225 – Interview with a Vampire

• Re-Destro talking about Deika’s geography and why they chose it strategically. The anime dropped so much about the MLA’s planning and information-gathering beforehand; it really made the MLA look ludicrously overconfident. And while they don’t lack for that trait, certainly,[2] this is also an organization that has meticulously grown its membership for generations right under Hero Society’s collective nose; you don’t get to where they are by being unduly foolhardy. Erasing so many scenes demonstrating their caution and forward-planning undercuts the threat they represent to both the League and society at large.           Also too, the descriptor of Deika as a nice, quiet, isolated little town in the mountains gives us some hints about how the MLA has avoided notice for so long, when you consider how the Hero business works: because so many people who get into heroism want to make it big, like celebrities, they don’t want to stick around small-town beats, and so the rural areas are understaffed.[3] That’s presumably why groups like the CRC and the MLA grow their numbers out in the boonies: much less attention from the Powers That Be. You can guess at some of that from how Spinner describes the place—“not too small, not too big”—and what Trumpet says about the percentage of the population that’s MLA, but RD adds that key “isolated” descriptor, and says that it’s a place where they “lay low.” That gives us some potential insight into how many—likely the majority—of the MLA came to their beliefs: by being raised to them, because their hometown was infiltrated by the MLA generations ago and they have literally never known anything else.

• RD’s phrasing, “Counter to point one,” when he makes his second point about the Noumu. He acknowledges that it’s counter-intuitive to his first argument, that he knows it would normally be an argument against that opening point, not in support. It’s just conversational padding, really, but “conversational padding” like that does a lot to distinguish character voice, so that not everyone talks the same way.

• A panel showing a trio of unnamed MLA warriors strategizing about how to divide their forces now that the League has split up. It’s the little cuts like this that gradually remove the agency of unnamed characters, such that they’re left looking like unthinking puppets instead of real people with the ability to register and respond to their circumstances. It also points towards the truth of what the MLA warriors are and one reason they’re so dangerous (for all that the manga itself will neglect this most egregiously later on): they’re trained in regiment tactics and accustomed to working in groups. This contrasts them both with villains, who might group together, but certainly don’t usually fight that way, and heroes, who are so unaccustomed to working in groups that it’s cited as part of the reason to have named super moves.

• Curious’s little pageboy-cut middle school kid line telling Toga to back off when Miss Curious is on the job. This is an early example of how defensive the MLA are of people above them in the hierarchy, an important thing Spinner will pick up on and attempt to use against Trumpet. Again, it’s little moments like this that both add some welcome notes of individuality to the MLA warriors (if only by virtue of Horikoshi and his assistants’ traditional talent for distinctive character design) while also fleshing out who the MLA are as a group, and contrasting them with the League.

• Deleted Toga’s line IDing her ���on-the-go suck-suck mask,” but did insert a nice little bit of her expression shifting when she whipped it out. It lost a bit of the self-conscious silliness of her support item name in exchange for a cool little animation beat. I don’t dislike it, particularly, but I am, as previously stated, very leery of edits that make the League more polished in their villainy at the cost of their human foibles.

• Curious’s line about having come prepared to counter Toga’s moves, which was supposed to further reiterate that the MLA has done their research on the League; they didn’t just decide out of the blue to target the most notorious Villains in the country without studying up on them first and planning accordingly!

• Curious’s line about how she’s going to get started with some background info while her people use their meta-abilities to keep Toga and her buddies on the ropes. A marvelously characterful line! It speaks especially to that edge of formality the MLA brass observe that even as she’s ringleading this attack, Miss Curious is still set on going through her interview process step by established step.

Framing Shifts

• Made some of Curious’s lines spoken dialogue instead of internal monologue. That’s probably fine for when she’s waxing enthusiastic about Toga’s lack of hesitation in committing murder or how she’ll use Toga’s story to further the MLA’s agenda. It’s less fine when she’s rattling out the entire name, brand and patent status of her support item for no particular reason when Toga is already halfway through trying to knife her (that’ll be next chapter).

• The anime implied pretty firmly that Curious’s bombers died. And like, yeah, that’s always made more sense than the idea that anyone could survive something like that, but I hate it anyway. For one thing, it makes it even harder to credit the idea that Toga’s still on her feet afterward if Curious’s supposedly not-very-lethal explosions merk all her own people. People in this series survive ludicrous amounts of damage, and these random MLA devotees are no exception! For another, it leans into the narrative that the MLA higher-ups throw away the lives of their minions without the slightest care. It’s a lot harder to make that case when it’s explicit in the manga that Curious’s people survive the blood explosions—the blonde in the tracksuit is unharmed enough to snicker about it, and the noodle chef is even doing well enough to continue attacking! I’ve always been of the opinion that the MLA are, yes, willing to spend the lives of their underlings on attaining goals, if that’s what they think is necessary, but that is not at all the same as gleefully throwing them onto the pyre to watch them burn.

Additions

• Some individual shots of Mr. Compress, Dabi and Twice fending off or fleeing from various MLA types. A nice try on getting the group split up, but it feels kind of budget save-y, when we could have gotten actual animation of those fights instead.

• Inserted a quick shot of a headline about Toga’s first attack as Curious was rambling on about why she’s interested in Toga but not the League in general. Actually a fairly reasonable insertion, given how much text is crammed into her talk bubble in the manga while the dude standing next to her is already getting a knife in the neck.

Chapter 226 – Bloody Love

• A panel of interviewees talking about Toga’s first victim being sociable and popular. It gives a bit of context on what he was like, what people thought of him, but given that we know enough about Toga at this point to know that his popularity was entirely incidental to what she liked about him, it’s not a huge loss.

• The detail of the broadcasted interviews censoring Toga’s name. Considering how Japanese media normally treats minors accused of crimes, this is an eyebrow-raising change—the manga censors it because Japanese media outlets would have done the same. No idea why the anime didn’t, unless it’s another of those places where it would feel too “real,” to have something that so closely mirrors real life treatment of criminals?

• Everything about quirk counseling, and whoo boy, that is a loaded cut. There is exactly one other mention of quirk counseling anywhere in the manga, and, curiously enough, it also comes up in relation to a villain: in the U.A. faculty meeting after the USJ attack, Midnight muses that maybe Shigaraki never received quirk counseling in elementary school. It’s a weird little non sequitur there—exactly what sort of program did she expect could single-handedly make the difference between a well-adjusted adult and a gleefully murderous manchild with aims on killing Japan’s Number 1 Hero? Just over two hundred chapters later, we get a hint: a program designed to fit people “neatly into society’s little boxes.”           Quirk counseling, then, is not about helping children find healthy ways to process their quirks, but rather, about teaching children what is and is not acceptable in terms of quirk use—and as Curious says, Toga’s admiration of blood was never going to be acceptable.[4] This explanation doesn’t just tell us a lot about Toga—that she wasn’t only failed by the hysterical condemnation of her parents, but also by a society that had no interest in helping her if it didn’t see a use for her—but also provides some insight on the viewpoint of the Meta Liberation Army vis-à-vis mandatory state-funded programs that dictate what “normalcy” looks like to impressionable children.           Curious is, of course, not a particularly trustworthy narrator in this, as one might expect of someone who uses language like “society’s little boxes,” but it does track with Midnight’s earlier musing of, “Maybe the anti-social dude never took the program intended to make sure he was a functioning member of society.” That kind of statement—“State-sponsored educational programs are there to program children into becoming unthinking cogs of society, actually.”—is one that it’s all too easy to imagine the people with an eye on broadcast standards taking issue with, even coming as it does from the mouth of a villain.

• Curious’s line, “Let’s turn your death into a legendary tragedy, shall we?” and its accompanying visual of two different papers with imagined headlines. The dialogue doesn’t strike me as crucial—Curious’s fervent belief in Toga’s story is amply demonstrated elsewhere and her intent to turn that story into a legend reiterated in the line immediately following—but it is a shame to lose the headlines. They tell us, in Curious’s own words, exactly the tack she was planning to take in telling Toga’s story to the general public, without the constant namedropping of the Liberation Army that she does when talking about it in person. One headline in particular—The Price of Suppression: A String of Bloody Murders—is an especially useful reference for discussing whether the MLA actually wants, as is popularly claimed, completely unhindered quirk use, even for people like e.g. Muscular who want nothing more than to murder people with their quirks.[5]

• Curious’s initial wait what response to getting Floated, and her people’s focus shifting away from Toga and onto Curious instead. On a surface level, that focus shift helps explain why Toga’s able to zip around the ground and touch nearly twenty people before they even react: because they’re afraid for Curious. It also hurts the ongoing characterization of the MLA rank and file as being fanatically devoted to their higher-ups which, again, is something Spinner is supposed to notice later. It’s the worst kind of plot device if that devotion is completely told to us rather than consistently shown!

• Toga’s internal reflection that she’s seen Ochaco use her quirk, and knows how to use it. It’s obvious from the panel that she knows how to use it, but the manga implies that Toga transforming doesn’t automatically grant her an understanding of peoples’ quirks; it’s only in observation (and possibly love) that she can reach this particular unlock. Leaving out that information leaves open the possibility that she can just do this all the time now, with anybody she transforms into.

• The reaction from the surviving crowd to Curious’s death. See above re: STOP FUCKING ERASING HOW MUCH THE MLA CARES FOR EACH OTHER.

Framing Shifts

• When Toga bolts, Curious in the anime sounded serious, her expression alarmed, like she was actually worried that Toga might escape, even though her dialogue said just the opposite. Maybe you could say that she was afraid Toga would die before she got her statement, but given that she tried to kill the girl herself moments later, I’m skeptical of that claim. Regardless, in the manga, she never loses her smile, and she flashes a Liberation salute as she stands up to give chase. It’s a characterization note, that she’s so wildly confident about this that she never stops being completely enthralled with whatever Toga has to show her.

Chapter 227 – Sleepy

• The last of Toga’s conscious dialogue, about how she’s lost a lot of blood, is fading out, can’t move—but more notably, the way that this state of things makes her feel closer to “them,” that it’s “the same sensation.” And who is “they” here—her victims? The people she loves? More alarmingly, why does the line sound like she’s been this beat-up before, and remembers the sensation? Does that tie into e.g. her comment during the training camp that she doesn’t want to fight too many hero students at once because she doesn’t want to die? Has she actually been subject to this kind of violence before in the past? Does that tie into her still-unexplained ability to erase her presence? It’s an interestingly loaded little line, for being so vague, and illustrative of Toga’s mentality on becoming the people she loves. Which also lets the scene segue nicely into Re-Destro’s observation that, in Toga Himiko’s world, there’s no such thing as “other people.”           On which note, guess what else the anime cut?

• The entire fucking scene where Re-Destro actually reacts to Curious’ death, the motherfuckers. This lost:           1. RD’s talk about the way Toga sees the world and how that led to society casting her out, which he points to as evidence of said society clinging to old ideals even though the nature of humanity itself has changed. It calls back to his methodology with Detnerat, marrying his lines from the commercial to his overarching ideals; it also shows that he understood very well what Curious saw in Toga, and demonstrates that he can express that understanding and empathy even in the face of losing one of his closest allies.           2. Skeptic’s reaction to Curious’s death, which is pretty sparse, but at least present. He says she never should have been on the front lines—an excellent reminder to the people who’re always going on about how the MLA brass thinks themselves so above their followers: Curious was on the front lines, against the wishes of some of her peers!—and calls her a valuable resource.[6] You can theorize about Skeptic not caring for her beyond her usefulness to the cause, or just that Skeptic is a huge autist who processes his emotions differently than most, and isn’t going to stop to do that when there’s still a battle going on, but either way, you need this scene to do it accurately.           3. Speaking of people who process their emotions in unusual ways, as I said above, this scene also shows Re-Destro openly crying over the deaths of Curious and each and every warrior diving into battle with their hopes for the future. They’re not crocodile tears, either. As was the case with Miyashita, there’s no one in this room that Re-Destro would need to perform grief for: Skeptic clearly doesn’t see a use for tears right now, so I don’t see him expecting them from Re-Destro, and the only other person in the room is Giran, a hostage who the MLA—very probably Re-Destro himself—maimed! It’s not like RD’s tears are going to change Giran’s mind about him (indeed, Giran gets a comedic reaction beat at the absurdity of the dude who started all this up here crying about it)! But RD says life is precious and he cries anyway, briefly, before he ruthlessly turns it off.           RD’s valuing of human life—especially his own peoples’ lives—crops up in roundabout ways twice more, both leading the fight with Shigaraki (“It angers me.”) and ending it (“Any more would bring about meaningless death.”). This, though, is when he’s most open about it, to the degree that—as with Machia’s grief—it’s kind of off-putting and strange. Cutting it makes it that much easier for people to get entirely the wrong impression of RD as a character.           4. The delightful scene where Skeptic berates Giran about asking brainless questions and then answers his question anyway. Fuckin’ hell, why cut this?? So much of Skeptic’s character is in this scene! You get moments of his neuroticism later on, but never in so concentrated a burst as this (there’s one other sequence that could compete, but—spoilers—the anime cut that one, too). The exchange also explains the cameras placed throughout the city—which are visually referenced early on—and what the MLA is planning to do with their footage. Without that explanation, the audience has no idea how, exactly, the MLA was planning to use wiping out the League as a springboard for their grand return to the spotlight. That footage is the crucial part of how the rest of the country reacts to Deika in the Endeavor Agency Arc, and the anime never even mentioned it! The audience was just left to assume that all the media came in afterward, not that there was the slightest whiff of footage from the battle itself.           5. Once again brings up Re-Destro’s belief in the power of the heart to move other hearts. We get a bit of that in Curious’s flashback, but here he says it in his own words—as he will also bring it up to Shigaraki. Once again, Shigaraki is going to be challenged about his conviction, which ties back into what Spinner and Ujiko demanded from him earlier in the arc. With so

many people set to be grilling Shigaraki on this front, it tells us again what the arc is for: Shigaraki’s conviction, and him demonstrating it to the people who think he lacks it.

• The panel of Spinner asking how long they’ve been at it and Mr. Compress responding. This line helps manage the pacing, giving the audience an idea how much time is passing as we cut around to different places. It’s also, you know, more cut Spinner dialogue, and shows the beginnings of Shigaraki and Spinner getting split off from the rest by Shigaraki’s sleep-drunk staggering angling him off in a different direction. The rest of the scene is moved to after Toga’s fight with Curious, but not otherwise tampered with.

• The other big reaction to Curious’s death, which is Trumpet using it to rile up the crowd. The group that attacks Shigaraki isn’t just some free-roaming mob—they’re coming at him in a grief-stricken frenzy, which they’ve been goaded into by one of their leaders.           This sequence also introduces the campaign van—a vehicle that will have several more appearances—to events, and hints at Trumpet’s meta-ability. Further, it’s one of the scenes that outright states that the MLA is less an army than a religion, in Mr. Compress’s line about how Trumpet is like a preacher rallying his flock. That understanding—that the MLA may style themselves as an army, but what they really are is a cult—is key to the way the MLA members act, from the very bottom to the very top.

• Trimmed Shigaraki’s flashback down, cutting—among other things—the very first lines Hana speaks, and her namedrop. This moment is the first one Tomura gets back, and the very first thing we find out is that he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing. The anime also failed to identify Shimura Nana’s relation to Tenko/Tomura and Hana—helpful to remind the audience of a plot thread they haven’t heard about since Kamino. It also cut out the silhouette of chubby baby Tenko and Tenko’s first line, asking why Hana’s showing him this, a line which clues us in that Hana was the impetus here, not Shigaraki as he was back then. Still not satisfied, it also cut the phrase, “Daddy said all that stuff,” which is a clear and ominous warning that there was some conflict going on between young Shigaraki and the Father whose dismembered hand he now wears on his face.

• Left the dialogue but cut the silhouette of an airborne Geten with his enormous ice fists coming in hot behind Dabi when he was smarming about it not being his style to take the pacifist route. It’s not crucial, since we see the fists again shortly (it’s the end of the chapter page, whereas the anime rolls right on into the continuation of the scene), but it’s a shame, since framing Dabi from below with this sudden presence behind him is a much more fun, dynamic angle than the dead-boring medium shot the anime used. Also too, it’s good foreshadowing for the fact that Geten can fly, since he certainly didn’t get that kind of air by jumping off the roof of the mini-mart across the street.

Framing Shifts

• The crowd attacking Tomura came at him from the back of the shot, whereas in the manga, they’re surging forth from the front; that is, the anime had Shigaraki between the crowd and the POV of the viewer, whereas the manga has the crowd interposing between the viewer and Shigaraki. It makes a huge difference in the impact! Running up from a nebulous background distance, the crowd looked small and futile. Crossing directly in front of the viewer as they attack Shigaraki makes them look like the crashing human wave that they are. But, you know, coming in from the front would mean they’d have to be animated with more detail, and again, Episode 109, more than any other episode in the arc, clearly didn’t have the budget to spare on such things.

• The moment Shigaraki first uses the spreading Decay is horrifically clear in the manga. It’s full of speed lines, Shigaraki moving so fast he decays a dude mid-word, but the impact itself is spread over two pages. We watch his hand literally cleaving through the leading attacker’s face, and then are encouraged to linger on the oversized panel below, the intricately drawn crowd, full of individual faces, still intact on the left, scattering to dust on the right, all fully lit, with Shigaraki—still drawn with speedlines to emphasize his movement—the focal figure in black at the center.           The anime rendered this moment in two stills—Shigaraki’s hand about to hit the lead attacker’s face, and then the crowd already decaying. There was virtually no movement to it, the crowd was so heavily silhouetted against a glare of daylight that it was difficult to tell what was going on, and the moment stayed on screen for only two seconds before Shigaraki landed and threw up, both actions favored with more animation than one of the signature moments of the entire arc. Hell, it even left the walls on either side of the alley intact, when the manga shows them dissolving into ash as well, decay traveling through the ground in a deadly, destructive radius around Shigaraki’s attack.           The anime ever-so-graciously allowed Spinner his line to explain to the audience what just happened, but I think that’s mostly because it would be genuinely difficult to parse if he didn’t. It also gave him a flashback to what we had literally just seen, except this time it wasn’t silhouetted for some reason, so at least the audience got another chance to look at it, I guess?           “Am I seeing things? Just now, his decay effect spread to people he wasn’t even touching!” Well, I guess we’ll have to take your word for it, Spinner.

Additions

• A quick shot of a camera, there and gone almost too fast to register. I want to compliment the anime for adding a camera back in, since it removed the shot of the cameras earlier, but honestly, given that it cut all the scenes about how and why the MLA was gathering footage, I really don’t know why it even bothered. Also too, the camera was gone so fast it felt more like a marker for a scene change—which it also was, segueing the scene from Toga collapsing (only to cut back to her later staggering down an alley) to Spinner and the rest still trying to hold their own—than it did something the audience was supposed to really notice.

Chapter 228 – Wounded Soul

• Twice in the opening pages left out scattered members of the MLA that were around for the start of the Dabi/Geten fight. Leaving them out raises the question of where all the people attacking went, but it’s also the first demonstration that Geten is a danger to his own allies. We don’t see any of them dying on-panel or anything, but we do see them having to dive frantically out of the way because Geten demonstrates no care to the collateral damage of his attacks.

• Cut a small flashback, presumably from Twice’s perspective, of finding the site where Toga and Curious’s fight concluded. You can see the ground covered in blood, and a body that looks a bit like Curious if you squint (distinguishable by the sleeves of her jacket), as well as a small group of people kneeling on the ground in various poses suggesting mourning and a paying of respects. Yet another shot demonstrating the depths of care these people have for their leaders, that they’ve completely let the battle fall by the wayside in favor of their grief.

• Drops the “those zealots” phrase from Twice’s, “I’ll rip those zealots limb from limb for this!” line. Damn, the anime really was determined to erase everything that even hints at the Liberation Army being something much creepier and more damaging than just an underground militia, huh?

Framing Shifts

• For all my complaints about the material, I generally like the voice acting quite a bit. I don’t love the first exchange between Dabi and Geten, though. It’s not a fault of the voice actors themselves, but rather the delivery. Geten was very cool and level-headed throughout, which is all right to a point, but he’s a gremlin under that troll parka, and this fight is where we hear him as close as we ever will to how he is before the multi-layered humbling he’s subject to over the course of this fight. It’s a bit of a shame to play him totally straight, without any of the snark he’s so clearly capable of—and without the tick upwards in vehemence his talk bubbles indicate in his last lines.           Meanwhile, it’s fine for Dabi to get more heated as the scene goes along, and indeed he does, but he also plays it pretty cool at first. You can tell in the shape of his talk bubbles that he’s completely unruffled during his delivery of that, “Consider this a freebie, just for you: ice melts,” line. The anime had him raising his voice for it, and it just loses a lot of the humor of Dabi’s own snark to have him yelling it instead of just laughingly stating it, voice barely raising enough to give his talk bubbles some straighter lines instead of being all undisturbed curves. (For comparison’s sake, it’s about the same level of angular as Geten’s, “You’d best not think your little campfire can melt my ice!” line, but the anime had Dabi shout his line, while Geten continued at the same unperturbed volume he’d maintained since the beginning.)

• As with Shigaraki’s first mass decay, the shot of Geten’s ice dragon did not make the impact on me in the anime that the manga did. I think it’s mostly the way the ice was colored? The claw’s pretty good, but the head looks blobby and indistinct, more like blue soft-serve than the shifting, sharp-edged, brilliantly bright sculpture-in-motion of the manga.

• Twice’s voice actor did his best to sell the scene of him finding Toga, but I wish they’d kept that tight close-up on his mouth when he says, “Give it up. The girl’s dead.” They animated him leaning closer to the camera, but that doesn’t have the sharpness of that sudden cut to being right there on his lips, like some malevolent thing is using them to speak words so terrible that they can’t even be associated with the rest of his face.

                                                          ---

Come back next time (and hopefully in less time) for Part Three, Episode 110: Sad Man's Parade.

FOOTNOTES

[1] We would, of course, have an even clearer idea of that had the anime not cut the scene of Spinner shouting in Shigaraki’s face.

[2] It seems particularly strange to me that Curious and RD both mention quirk evolution as a thing they know can happen in extreme circumstances, but didn’t predict that backing the League into a life-or-death corner might provoke one or two members to undergo exactly that evolution.

[3] Mount Lady is the obvious example, but you can look to places like the island in Heroes Rising, too: one hero, and when they retired, a group of high school kids had to go sub in for a while until a replacement could be arranged. It’s not like retirements just happen overnight; the Commission had to have known it was coming. Still, they had to scramble to find someone. It doesn’t suggest they had anybody just champing at the bit to take the post, you know?

[4] In Chapter 140, we see a young Tamaki Amajiki in a class called “quirk training.” It’s uncertain how connected this P.E.-like class is to quirk counseling, but Toga wouldn’t have been getting much help there, either, seeing as it’s all about figuring out how to use one’s quirk in a way that’s “useful to society.” I can think of some ways, but nothing that I expect would be very popular or liable to be explained to a grade schooler in a country with as long a history with ritual cleanliness as Japan. To a Shinto mindset, Transformation isn’t just off-putting or unhygienic; it’s spiritually unclean.

[5] The answer there being, no, obviously not, or Curious wouldn’t, in all apparent sincerity, be trying to characterize Toga using her quirk to murder people as an undesirable outcome, a cost society is paying for its current stance on quirk use. Yes, you can gather that much from her calling Toga a tragic girl, and Re-Destro concurring later, but listen, I will take every line I can get that I can use to push back against the wretchedly widespread idea that the kid whose name means Apocrypha is the be-all-end-all source on MLA ideology, somehow more reliable and trustworthy than every other MLA character combined, including Destro himself. I would very much like it if the anime had not deleted a bunch of my talking points while making good and sure to leave all Geten’s most damning lines intact.

[6] Not that an anime-only person would fully understand why some random reporter was all that valuable a resource, since the anime cut the explanation of what Curious actually does for a living.

[pbaintthetb]

quick fic

wrote this because i need to write but lack motivation, and I’m not posting it because it’s not neatly wrapped up but anyway

“I’m here to see the Sect Leader,” Xichen tells the Nie disciples who greet him at the gates. He’s greeted with a nod and a fond eye roll, his presence here is not unfamiliar, frequently coming to drag poor little A-Sang out of trouble.

(How much of that had always been a lie? How much had these disciples known it was a lie. Is it all an act? All of them?)

“He’ll meet you in his office,” one of the disciples tells him pleasantly, “Feel free to wait for him there.” In the corner of his eye he can notices a flurry of green, but he nods and walks the familiar path.

A-Sang, A-Yao. It’s too late for Da-ge, Mingjue is gone, and it’s like a gaping hole in his chest, but maybe he can stop the rest of the tragic story playing itself out again. Stop Huaisang from ruining himself.

“Er-ge?” Huaisang says warily as he enters the office to find Xichen standing there. His fan is up over his mouth and his eyes are wide, but this is just how Huaisang had looked in the temple, and it sends eerie chills down Xichen’s spine.

His silly, foolish, lazy, idle little brother is none of those things. At least not anymore, but maybe Xichen can restore it. Now that he’s looking for it, now that he knows it’s there, he can see it in Huaisang’s eyes. A certain sharpness, warily tracking him.

Or maybe Xichen’s imagining it, so desperate for it to be there, for there to be a sign of everything Huaisang was and will be (won’t be, Xichen will fix it) again. But if even A-Yao had never noticed...

There is no point in wasting more time, so he swallows everything down and lays his cards out on the table. Mingjue had always valued forthrightness and honesty and had tried to instill those in Huaisang. Huaisang had hated Jin Guangyao because he had lied. Honestly should work, it has to.

“I know what you’re planning, A-Sang,” Xichen says, doesn’t whisper it, says it bravely and solidly so his confidence doesn’t abandon him. He needs to do this properly, needs to save as much of his brothers as he can. He can’t watch themselves tear themselves apart once more.

“Planning?” Huaisang says after a short pause, “I don’t know what you’re talking about? I really don’t know. I promise Er-ge! What do you mean?”

It was one thing to listen to Huaisang’s frantic denials and confusion when he had thought it real. It had been almost endearing, if sometimes a little worrying or irritating. Now, when he knows it has so much falseness in it, it sends a trickle of ice down his spine. He resists the urge to shudder, but maybe not enough because Huaisang’s eyes go wider still.

Xichen reminds himself that his sword is at his hip and his erhu hangs on his other side. Then he mentally prods himself, because why does his brain think he’d need protection from Huaisang? No matter what, Huaisang, his da-ge’s didi, would never hurt him. And, not to be rude, but Huaisang never had a particualry  strong core.

He shakes himself to get over the silliness and takes the plunge.

“I know about Da-ge and what you’re planning with A-Yao. How you want to destroy him, make sure he could never come back and-” He doesn’t finish his thought before Huaisang interjects.

“Er-ge? Are you okay, what about Da-ge? I don’t know what  you mean?”

“No, Huaisang.” He blocks off once more, he won’t play this game now. He fell for it before, in the temple, and A-Yao had died. He had done unforgivable things, but he hasn’t necessarily done them all yet this time. Maybe he can be saved, and he didn’t deserve to die.

“I have,” he pauses, “certain knowledge, Huaisang. I have seen, some things.” He swallows, and sees Huaisang watching him like a hawk over his fan, but his brow furrowed to keep up the illusion of confusion. A-Yao had said he’d never see through Huaisang’s mask, but Huaisang is still early in his game, and Xichen knows, he thinks he might now.

“San-ge led to Da-ge’s death.” Xichen tells the other man, as though  Huaisang doesn’t already know. “And I know you want to destroy him for it.”

There is no response, just the feeling that every inch of him is being measured and none of it is being deemed good enough.

“But why would San-ge hurt Da-ge?” Huaisang asks him eventually, voice trembling- and was Xichen too early? Has he ruined everything? Would Huaisang never have come for A-Yao? Or maybe this is right, and they can talk it over, and get justice together and without utterly destroying A-Yao in the process.

“Their relationship was very strained by the end,” Xichen acknowledges heavily. It didn’t make it right, but it made it make sense in hindsight. “I think San-ge...” he trails off, unsure how to continue. He shakes his head, this isn’t the point anyway.

“I know what you’re going to do, Huaisang. I’ve seen it. You’re going to trick him, and trap him and kill him. But you’re smart- no, I’ve seen that too. If we work together we could help him.” He swallows, “please, A-Sang.”

There’s an odd laugh.

“The way you talk, Er-ge. You make it sound as if you’re from the future,” Huaisang chuckles lightly again, and it is an absurd thought.

Xichen nods.

“Oh,” Huaisang tells him, ugly and flat, fan snapping shut to reveal a very displeased expression. “So tell me, Zewu-jun, did it hurt, what I did to him?”

Xichen gapes, he hadn’t expected this, at least not this fast.

“I’m not an idiot-” Xichen knows that now, “And I’m guessing, despite everything. Despite probably knowing more than me about what that bastard had done, you’ve still come to me first? He murdered my brother, and you’ve come to me to tell me to stop?!” Huaisang’s voice is full of venom, but no louder than a hiss.

The smaller man stands up loudly and clumsily, knee banging into a desk as he does so.

“Leave, Xichen,” Huaisang tells him, full of anger and rage. Xichen doesn’t know how it went so wrong so fast. “I thought you just didn’t know, and that was damning- but this?” Huaisang spits, such an unrefined action for such a carefully composed and elegant man.

“Huaisang,” Xichen says a little warningly himself, “I don’t think you want to challenge me either. A-Yao needs to be brought to justice, but you want isn’t justice. It’s barely revenge- it’s blood thirsty vengeance and I cannot condone it.”

He thins his lips, deciding whether to say his next sentence as Huaisang glowers at him, knuckles whitening around his fan. He needs to save as much of A-Yao as he can, it’s clear Huaisang is mostly gone, but maybe saving A-Yao will help save A-Sang.

“You don’t want the Lan as an enemy, Huaisang. My reputation is far better than yours, I could say all kind of things and they wouldn’t be lies. Please, leave him alone, let me deal with him.” It only feels a little wrong on his tongue, Xichen can live with it.

He’s met with a spluttering laugh from Huaisang, but his eyes are so very firm and steady and hard. Huaisang really is like Mingjue, but not in sharing honesty.

“If you tell anybody about this, about the Headshaker plotting, Zewu-jun, you think anyone will believe you? The only person who would is Jin Guangyao, and then you’ve signed my death warrant as well. Do you want this on your conscience? Can you live with the deaths of both my and Da-ge on your head?

Xichen steps back, his mind screaming at him, and Huaisang takes that as an opportunity to move around his desk and slither up to his side.

“Come back to me with his head, or don’t come back at all, Er-ge.” Huaisang strides back to his desk. “After all, I think we’ve established that I really don’t need you. Maybe I’ll drip all kinds of poison about you into people’s ears. I’m a terrible gossip, and just really don’t know how to hold my drink after all. Someone really ought to stop Sect Leader Nie from spending so much time in Taverns.”

Xichen suddenly has the nasty feeling that he’s walked into a snake’s den. That he really, should never have come.

“But that won’t be you,” Huaisang continues, “Seeing that you don’t like me anymore? Or do you? In which case then I’m still so useless, and not scheming.” Huasiang throws him a clearly false beam, and Xichen just wants out.

“Nice talking with you, Er-ge, now I’m fed up of watching you squirm.”

Xichen leaves as quickly as he can, not taking his eyes of Huaisang, who locks eye contact the whole time Xichen backs out of the door. He doesn’t even try to lay on a threat or impress for Huaisang not to go after A-Yao once more. He’s said all he can say to Huaisang. Now he’s stuck here, in the past with the sick feeling he’s made everything worse.

“The Sect Leader’s a real character, isn’t he?” one of the Nie disciples on the door comments with a slight laugh as Xichen focuses on not looking like he’s stumbling out. “Can really drive you up the wall.”

Xichen looks at him, and can see nothing but friendliness and banter.

“Well-meaning, but dumb,” the woman on the other side comments. The two disciples laugh together again.

“don’t worry, Zewu-jun, I don’t think he knows what he’s doing.” They snort.

Xichen looks at them both, tries to see if it’s a facade, if it’s real or-

He draws himself up, “You should show your Sect Leader some more respect,” he intones seriously. “The-”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Xichen is interrupted, “We respect Sect Leader Nie. He at least knows when he’s got an enemy in front of him. He’s not totally useless.”

Xichen swallows. He’s not quite sure how. But the only thing he’s certain of is that he’s made everything worse. So much worse.

[pipipinyyy]

Explaining why I have added every song in my entire and very long Niragi playlist because I can and because over analyzing him is my passion (I usually update it from time to time but I'll do it with the current songs)

Completely self indulgent post, but I decided to share to feed my fellow Niragi stans (*˙︶˙*)☆*°

This is entirely based on my view of the songs and how I interpret them while thinking about Niragi. I'm aware that most of them have entirely different meanings, this is just for fun :) (Also sorry if my explanations don't make much sense, English is not my first language and I might make mistakes when trying to put my feelings and thoughts into words)

This may contain manga/s2 spoilers

Hayloft-Mother Mother: Vibes

Criminal-Britney Spears: The whole song describes him ("he is a sucker with a gun") and the fandom's obsession ("mama I'm in love with a criminal")

Daddy Issues-The Neighborhood: I feel like he would act like this, using the most vulnerable spots to pick on someone ("cry little girl, nobody does it like you do")

Psycho-Jin Dogg, OVER KILL: Vibes

Riot-Hollywood Undead: He'd definitely start a riot like he did in the 10 of hearts, burning and destroying anything that crosses his path

Bitches-Mindless Self Indulgence: He most likely thinks he's a total fuckboy and popular with girls since he can get almost anything he wants out of scarying people

Baby's on Fire-Die Antwoord: Vibes

Insane in the Brain-Cypress Hill: This man is being consumed by his own way of protecting himself

Wolf in Sheep's Clothing-Set It Off: Based on how he feels towards the people who hurt him in the past ("Listen, mark my words, one day, you will pay" "You've always been a huge piece of shit, if I could kill you, I would" "Karma is gonna come collect your debt")

Death no more-IC3PEAK: Vibes

Gasoline-I Prevail: Sort of similar to Riot, ("So burn it all down, burn it all down, I don't give a fuck")

Toxic-Britney Spears: The whole fandom knows how much of a piece of shit this dude can be, but we still find ourselves liking/enjoying his character (to an extent), a toxic addiction

Nice Guy-GRLwood: As much as I love this man, he'd use the "I'm a nice guy c'mon" card just to fuck. If he wants to, he'll get it, if he doesn't, he'll most likely get mad

Dernière danse-Indila: Vibes

TRRST-IC3PEAK: Mostly vibes, I kinda see this song as how he felt the first time he killed someone on purpose inside the borderlands ("mama they say I'm a terrorist, I did nothing wrong but I got on the blacklist")

Saint Bernard-Lincoln: Vibes

Nowhere To Run-Stegosaurus Rex: Being with him at the Beach would either be ignoring each other completely or a game of tag, no inbetween. If this man wants to kill you, he'll get his fun time out of it as well ("You're gonna die, I'm gonna kill you")

The House of Wolves-Bring Me The Horizon: Based on how he sees life after being consumed by his current mental state ("Show me a sign, show me a reason to give a solitary fuck about your god damn beliefs" "What you call faith, I call a sorry excuse")

Smells Blood-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

SIU-Maretu: Similar to Daddy Issues, don't expect this man to be a therapist. If he sees anyone crying or panicking in or outside a game, he'd most likely tell them to suck it up, just like this song.

Judgement-Kensuke Ushio: Vibes

MONSTER ENERGY GUN!-KevinKempt: Vibes + He for sure has an energy drink addiction, specially pre-borderlands

HURT-1 800 PAIN: Vibes

Fear Is The Mind Killer-Zheani: Vibes

I Bet on Losing Dogs: Based on how I know Niragi is toxic, and most likely unsaveable of his deteriorating mental state, but I still have him as my biggest comfort character ("I bet on losing dogs, I know they're losing and I'll pay for my place")

Emo Boy-Ayesha Erotica: He's been in an emo phase (and maybe still is), the lyrics are pretty self explanatory, they describe us Niragi simps perfecrly ("come on fuck me emo boy")

Crybaby-Destroy Boys: Vibes

The Fox's Wedding-MASA Works DESIGEN: Vibes

You're a useless child-Kikuo: We don't know much about his past, but judging by the unstoppable bullying he's suffered, his parents didn't care about him, or were straight up absent. He's been insulted by pretty much everyone in his past to the point of believing it and telling those things to himself ("You're a useless child, the most useless child in this world" "Drool in snot, dandruff, shit and piss" "I'm a useless child" "Nobody will save me" "I'm a lonely kid")

Take A Slice-Glass Animals: Vibes

Fighting With The Melody-Jimmy Urine: Vibes

Comics-Caravan Palace: Vibes

Rhinestone Eyes-Gorillaz: Vibes

Butch 4 Butch-Rio Romero: Mostly vibes, sort of how I think the most "peacefull" moments in a relationship with him would feel like, kind of bittersweet feeling

Suki Suki Daisuki-Jun Togawa: Yandere Niragi. If he's interested in someone, he'd go through an obsessive phase, most likely forcing the other person to "love" him. This man is so confused about the feeling of love that he's unable to tell when he loves someone or when he's obsessed with them due to his lack of attention ("Like you, like you, I love you. Say you love me or I'll kill you")

:(-The Garden: Vibes

Kitty City-Cyriak Harris: Vibes

Blood-My Chemical Romance: If Niragi went to a therapist, he'd act like this song, with his signature cocky and sarcastic personality (at least before he gets better) ("I can't control myself because I don't know how" "They can fix me proper with a bit of luck" "I'm the kind of human wreckage that you love")

A Mask of My Own Face-Lemon Demon: He feels like he needs to protect himself or else he will get hurt inside the borderlands by others again. He uses another personality, a completely ruthless one, even if he doesn't like it and hates himself for it, he doesn't see another way to deal with his fear, allowing his "new self" to consume himself. ("I'd wear that mask of my own face" "I look into my eyeholes and what do I see? A handsome motherfucker motherfucking looking back at me")

I'm a Murderer-Freddie Dredd: Mostly vibes ("I'm a motherfucking murderer")

'Cause I'm a Liar-Mcki Robyns-P: He would lie just for fun even in serious situations. If he needs to manipulate someone to survive, he'll do it his way, after all, he doesn't care anymore, he just seeks for excitement. ("Without emotion, without devotion. It's much easier to fake something happy")

I Disagree-Poppy: I don't know exactly how to describe it, but I feel like this is how he sees and feels the world and those around him, feeling misunderstood and going his own way ("If only all of you could see the world I see, then maybe everyone could live in harmony")

Personal Jesus-Mindless Self Indulgence: He has a superiority complex, that's for sure. I don't think he sees himself as a god, but I see him joking about it

Rainbow Factory-GLAZE, WoodenToaster: Vibes

Frontier Psychiatrist-The Avalanches: I kinda see this as Aguni taking the role of Niragi's "father figure" inside the borderlands, realizing he's turning insane and is unable to control him ("That boy needs therapy")

Hate it. Hate it. "JIGAHIDAI!"-WADATAKEAKI Kurage P: Jealousy. I can see it either in a pre-borderland situation where he hates the popular students in school, or inside the borderlands hating both Chishiya and Arisu. Jealousy takes over him constructing a big ego, causing himself to develop his superiority complex ("You see, I hate that popular girl!" "Does she think I don't notice? How she looks at me as if I'm trash" "I want to be praised" "I'm different from you all, I have my own ego! I'm not a side character" "I have zero common sense. I'm special")

Villain-Stella Jang: He knows damn well he's a villain, that's his goal after all, but what if someone took his point of view? wouldn't the villains be all of those who hurted him in the first place? ("We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side, but what if we are the villains on the other")

Violent-carolesdaughter: This is how I view an argument inside a relationship with Niragi. He's used to violence, to cause fear, and getting what he wants, so being in a healthy relationship would require a lot of patience and strenght. While he's getting better and suppressing those violent actions, there will be times where he accidentally uses violence or threatens the other person unintentionally, mostly hurting himself and his partner psychologically. The lyrics change between both points of view ("Don't make me get violent, I want my ring back baby that's a diamond" "She knows I'm a wreck" "I gave you all my trust and I told you just don't break it")

Hey Bunny-Baby Bugs: Based on how I think it would feel to partner up with him inside the borderlands and catching feelings for him while knowing the huge mess he is ("Hey bunny, what's with those evil eyes?" "Hey bunny, what the hell is wrong with us?" "Hey bunny, what if I loose you too? If I become the monster, together we can always be blue")

Kokoronashi-majiko: I'm pretty sure Niragi isn't able to see himself as someone able to love, even if he doesn't want to be alone (just like when he confesses this feeling while fighting with Chishiya and Arisu). If someone truly loved him and was willing to not letting him go, it would hurt. He can't see himself as someone who can love or be loved, so he can't accept the love he's seeking for in case that turns him "weaker" making his true self confront with the protective mean personality he's created. He could learn how to accept it, so he might want the other person to stay in the end, but it wouldn't be easy for him to accept it ("It's awful, I'd rather you destroy my body, tear it to sheds, do as you please" "No matter how much I'm loved by you, my heart is just one" "I don't know this, don't leave me alone")

Nightmare Parade-FAKE TYPE.: Vibes

Slipping Through My Fingers-Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried: Niragi seeing himself loosing his young, gentle and caring personality due to his fear, being unable to control what's happening inside, nostalgia and sadness kicking in ("The feeling that I'm loosing her forever" "That funny little girl" "Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture and save it from the funny tricks of time")

Kuroneko No Tango-Pink Martini, The Von Trapps: Vibes

YKWIM?-Yot Club: Him confroting his feelings of loneliness when he's left alone with his thoughts ("It feels like I care too much when I'm alone, oh no")

Romantic Lover-Eyedress: Just appreciating his physical appearance ("She's a killer, I love her features")

Wrecking Ball-Mother Mother: Based on how he sees himself as someone who needs to destroy everything in a way or another in order to be powerful + the fun he has with it ("Call me a reckless wrecking ball" "Let's break it just because we can")

Edge-Rezz: Vibes

Freaks-Surf Curse: Again, confronting feelings when loving someone, but not in such a painful as Kokoronashi ("I need a place to stay where I can cover up my face" "Don't cry, I'm just a freak")

Little Bit-Lykke Li: Vibes

6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con)-Will Wood and the Tapeworms: Vibes

PHONKY TOWN-PlayaPhonk: Vibes

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE-Måneskin: Freaky time. He would absolutely love this song, definitely his type of thing ("You could be the beauty and I could be the monster" "I wanna touch your body so fucking electric" "I wanna make you hungry, then I wanna feed you")

#BrooklynBloodPop!-SyKo: Vibes

A Cold Freezin' Night-The Books: Vibes

A Pearl-Mitski: My most favorite song to associate with Niragi. Represents his evolution as a character. Creating an scenario where he is loved by someone,he rejects it at first, acting tough ("I don't want your touch") and then proceeds to explain why ("It's just that I fell in love with a war, nobody told me it ended" "it left a pearl in my hand and I roll it around every night just to watch it glow") the war being the borderlands and his new personality, he loved it, but nobody drew a line and it's getting out of hand. The pearl is the feeling of power, the one he has to remember when feeling weak just to feel something. At the end of the song it changes to ("Sorry I can't take your touch"), realizing that he wants love, but he's not able to take it or else he'll become the Niragi from the past

Problematic-Bo Burnham: Him acknowledging his problematic actions but not wanting to apologize because he doesn't feel the need to. He knows he's done bad things but he is going to laugh at it and be a sarcastic mf about it

First Love/Late Spring-Mitski: Similar to Kokoronashi, he wouldn't be able to accept love and how it makes him feel. He would think that he prefers for everyone to hate him and be lonely instead of sacrificing his tougher side. Also talks about how he's grown way too quickly for him to understand feelings properly ("So please hurry leave me, I can't breathe, please don't say you love me" "One word from you and I would jump out of this ledge I'm on baby" "I was so young when I behaved 25, yet now I find I've grown into a tough child"

The Other Side Of Paradise-Glass Animals: Vibes

Bodybag-Chloe Moriondo: How I feel about liking his character, confronting feelings basically ("Don't know if I hate you or if I wanna date you" "I don't wanna like you, I just wanna tie you up, then keep you in a cage and watch you sleep for ages"

Get Into It (Yuh)-Doja Cat: Vibes

Psycho Killer-2005 Remaster- Talking Heads: Vibes

HOT DEMON B!TCHES NEAR U!!!-CORPSE, Night Lovell: Vibes

INFERNO-Sub Urban, Bella Poarch: Again, another song that describes him pretty well ("Baby I'm the reason why hell's so hot" "Terribly like terrible, she's a villain" "Think I'm getting butterflies but it's really something telling me to run away")

Bad Morning-Omori: Vibes

Trouble Brewing: Vibes

Dueles Tan Bien-Bruses: Another song about my confronting feelings with this man ("You know what? You taste better than alcohol to me. You know that and you've got control" "Because you hurt, and you hurt so good that I don't know what to do")

And that's it!! This took me the whole day to write but it makes me very happy to be able to share it :)

I've you've read the entire thing, hope you enjoyed the character analysis! ლ(◞‿◟ლ)

[pink-purplesunset]

A light cannot exist without shadow.

Before the history that people like you and I know, Gods walked the Earth like common man. Virgin lands laid untouched and unbroken, waters ran clear and free of debris. Gods had a much simpler view on life. Many things as well as what happened to mere mortals, left them unbothered. Because of this, they then chose to leave the land, returning to the sky. In their wake they left their children to rule Earth, to keep it from ending in chaos.

There were two sides both ruled by family blood, one of light, the other of dark. The first born, named Jin, came to be known as a being of darkness, an evil no one had seen before. Soon many others who shared that same deep iniquity began to follow him, morphing into what the people called Dreadlings. They took a form stuck between light and dark, eventually forming the largest army of men and women on the planet. With this power Jin ruled the planet and for many years all people knew was darkness.

Years later, his sister gracefully named Nabi, was born. She radiated light, love and all that is good and had come into the world as a bright beacon for many. Her union onto Earth had been celebrated, a prophecy had been filled giving many the courage to stand up to the darkness that had overtaken the land. Nabi was quickly labeled their savior, and thrust into the role of Earth's Guardian.

Contradictory to might you may think, both sides united as one.

With a small army Nabi confronted her brother, her charms and purity quickly talking him down from his horrid reign. From that day both siblings remained close and confided in each other to rule to planet as two instead of one. Peace was to remain on both sides for the remainder of their immortal lives, both making agreements to never harm one another.

Many years later is where this story begins.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On an ordinary day, one with warm winds and feathery skies, a hummed song hangs in the air, coming from a figure that bathes in a waterfall nearby. The area is secluded on each side by natural rocks and tall pine trees, a field of colorful wild flowers blanketing the surrounding area.

Nabi runs her fingers through silvery locks, sighing in ecstasy when the cold-water leaves goosebumps on her skin in contrast to the warm sun. She was used to days like this, with birds chirping in her ear and the smell of wild mint in the air.

Every day was almost completely the same for her and had been since her descend onto Earth.

She would be awoken by one of her chambermaids, they would help her into a morning steam, feed her, brush her hair and adorn her in clothes and jewelry that were made by the God Plutus, a regular gift she would receive from her family to praise her for getting along with her brother. Then she would be whisked off to play the role of mediator and politician, listening to the complaints and opinions of the people, an event the Primary Gods had suggested to keep the people happy, only to then be ushered into the Chapel to be broadcasted across the world giving the morning prayers. Something enforced by the clergy so that the Primary Gods would not be forgotten. By noon, she was off to some lectures which gave her more insight on how the common man lived, giving her a looks at which areas of the world needed her healing the most.

She lived this life everyday without stray. Until recently.

She, her brother and their armies, where the only being on Earth that could manipulate reality. Nabi could control elements, weather, the human body and much more. Her brother could do the same but in opposite effects. She found herself free time under the mask of ability training.

A few hours before dusk she would visit the stable under disguise and gallop off on her favorite friesian outside the kingdom walls to a place she only knew. Here she could be herself, do what she wanted and imagine a life where she was normal. A life where she would be able to find a love, have kids and a simple job before coming home for the night to a family.

This became her new normal.

Gradually her brother began to find out, only giving her a mild scolding before focusing on the many tasks that encompassed a a kingdom. Eventually as she would sneak out more and was caught, the scolding became punishment.

There was many rules amongst her life and one of them was never letting someone outside the inner walls of the palace to see her appearance. She was a goddess of purity, anyone who started to lust after her could taint her aura, eventually turning her into a being like her brother. The Primary Gods demanded balance, she was to never be tainted or it would bring the end to her and her brother.

But Nabi had a rebellious soul. She would continue to sneak out, no matter what her brother threatened.

Nabi sighed in delight once again as the water left small pools on her body, smiling when she noticed a curious bystander near the entrance to her secluded area. She knew him well, a soldier sided with the light and a fierce warrior she had watched from the sidelines for some time now. He had been drawn in by the sweet sound of her voice before, something he could not resist. He had visited her often within the past months, giving her something, someone, to look forward to.

She knew he could not see much of her as the waterfall did well to give her a natural veil, all to be seen was her hair, as it twinkled like stars whenever the light caught it. She watched as he stared in wonder, still oblivious to her own. She abruptly stopped the humming and stepped out of the running water allowing her eyes to peer into his own, which now were splayed wide with fear.

It was absolute law never to approach or see the Guardian unless given clearance, offenders would face the wrath of Jin aka death.

Before he could run, Nabi let out a small chuckle making him stop in his tracks. She held eye contact with him, not bothering to dress in her robes before she walked forward.

He had seen her like this before.

"You came to see me again." She smiled.

Not believing his senses the man remained frozen. Nabi made her way directly in front of him, in all her glory. She continued to smile, trying to fill the man with ease.

"You are Jimin correct?" Her features remained soft and her eyes twinkled. "You should really try and hide yourself more, I catch you being here everytime." He continued to gape at her, not sure of how to react. "It's nice to meet you again." She added with a grin, her hand glided from her side to grab his.

Jimin gulped and continued to stare at her flawless skin.

"I- I did not mean to oppose on you Guardian."

He then diverted his eyes down, not mustering the courage to bring his hand away from hers.

With a small laugh Nabi pulled him closer to her. Her unoccupied hand came up and began stroking the man's hair. Causing Jimin to hold his breath.

"It's alright." She laughs. "you being here tends to make my day." She hugged him a little closer, always eager for a warm embrace. "Besides... I happen to know that you like being here too."

Within her embrace she allows the memories she had taken from him to flow back. With a small gasp Jimin brings his eyes back to hers.

Nabi laughs at the familiar reaction.

"Please stay." She whispers once she recognizes the familiar lust that settles in his eyes.

Jimin lets out the breath he was holding and pushes away from her in shock.

"Am I not to be punished?!" He spoke loudly. Causing Nabi's smile to slip. "Isn't this breaking the law?!

Putting back on her smiley mask, she puts both hands over the man's mouth. She could never get used to his reaction, even after experiencing it many times.

"My brother is not here and you side with me. Fear nothing."

She takes her hands away and wraps one around his wrist dragging him backwards with her into the water.

"Come now."

Nabi frowns when he is not looking as she is running behind schedule now and her guards will soon come looking for her.

Jimin does nothing but comply, hushed by her words and newly acquired memories serving him well. When both are fully under the roaring waterfall, he smiles at the small invisible bubble protecting them from the heavy water above. He eyes Nabi from head to toe before capturing her lips in his. She smiles at him in childish wonderment before diving back into him for more. His hands begin to move over her body, ghosting over her nipples to pull a moan from her. He bites her lip as he smiles although it begins to fall.

"Please don't take these memories away from me again." He asks in a pleading whisper.

He looks into her eyes and can tell she's hiding from him.

From yards away both of them can hear the footfalls of horses.

"I'm afraid we must part now." She breathes out, distancing herself but catching his hands in hers once again. "Please visit again, I really miss you when you're gone."

A sadness overtakes Jimin's face but is quickly replaced with panic as Nabi places her hand on his forehead and wipes the memories of their meeting from his mind. She places him gently on the dry moss below them, her magic still protecting the area from the water above.

With one final look she once again leaves the waterfall and dresses in time for her guards to appear through the trees. One dressed in gold ornate armor, displaying her own insignia, the other made up in an armor of volcanic rock that somehow still glows red hot.

"You know the entire palace begins to panic in your absence." States the one in gold. He looks to his side where Jin's soldier stands. "Please do not force me out here with one of the Dreadlings again."

Nabi smiles and begins to walk towards the two.

"Where would the kingdom be without you playing my babysitter Hobi?" She allows them to place her veil over her head and help her onto her horse. "Although I do agree that my brother did not have to send one of his own." She squints at the heat radiating off the man as she looks at him. "The fresh air must feel like poison to you V."

The dark soldier remains stoic and leaves to mount his own horse with no reply.

"Always a man of many words." Remarks Hobi as they all set off towards the palace.

The ride takes them down the steep mountainside, through a forest of large cedars and along the edge of the wall that surrounds the kingdom. They tactfully stop at a spot on the northside of the wall, where Nabi is able to manipulate some loose rock and allow a gap big enough for them to walk through with their horses.

"How will your brother feel knowing you have left the walls again?" V finally speaks up once they are inside.

Nabi just smiles and closes the wall behind them.

"Why must you threaten me with this same line every time you're forced to fetch me? We both know you don't plan on telling him. "

V sighs and continues to peer forwards, knowing too that she speaks the truth. After a few more minutes sulking he again speaks up.

"You rely too much on the false relationship you've created for us in your head. You know who I remain loyal to."

Nabi giggles and shakes off the remark.

"Ok, Ok Mr. IHateFriendshipandLove. I will believe your words from now on until proven otherwise." She rides up closer to him and whispers "I'll tell the chefs to serve japchae in the commissary tonight." He shivers from their closeness while with a wink she makes her way away from him and towards Hobi.

After follows a few minutes of silence with the exception of chuckles she and Hobi share in their own conversation. V then clears his throat, edging his horse on to get closer to the two. He makes sure to make eye contact with Nabi.

"Although I do not appreciate the endearment of friendship, I will gladly accept the food."

He then hurries his horse forward.

Behind him, Nabi and Hobi share another knowing look and a small laugh as they continue to the gate of the palace. It is a massive structure, half white, half black marble, with gold welded gates connecting it's center. On all sides it is guarded by a mix of gold and black clade soldiers.

"May the dark bring forth the light!" All the soldiers shout when they identify her and draw the gate upwards.

Entering, Nabi breaks off from her two escorts, turning in her saddle to address the two men.

"You guys can head back to the barracks, I can take it from here."

Hobi gives her a deliberate glare.

"Promise to appear before your brother as soon as possible so he does not kill us both and NO more adventures today." He makes sure to point at her to add emphasis.

Nabi rolls her eyes. "I would never allow him to do such a thing." Hobi opens his mouth ready to retort. "-But I promise to see him to save you both from his nagging."

"Thank you, milady." Hobi jeers with a silly bow, still on his horse. "Now stay out of trouble and I shall see you later after dinner." He gives a big wave and follows V towards the side of the palace where workers and military are housed.

"Let's go Lucent." She pats her horse's shoulder and gives him a small squeeze to continue to the stable she and Jin shared.

Like usual, the overly decorated palace yards were occupied by the gardeners that kept it looking clean and the pious followers that would used the gardens as a place to pray. Regardless of who they were, when they noticed Nabi, they would drop what they were doing to pay respect to her. Something she did not always enjoy. Finally making her way towards the royal wing and the stables that connected to it, she was met by her stable hand Yoongi with is arms crossed.

"Overstayed your time outside again I see." He uncrossed his arms and grabbed her horse by the bridle. "I should have known something was up when Lucent was gone from his stall again this morning." He gave a small smile while petting the horse on his nose. He looked up to Nabi "Do you want me to put him away for you?"

Nabi dismounted and gave Lucent a big hug around his neck.

"Yes, thank you. You're once again a lifesaver Yoongi." She let go of the horse and handed the reins over to him. "I'm unfortunately late to a meeting to humor my brother right now, as it seems everyone in the palace knows I was outside again."

"You're not exactly secretive about it anymore." Yoongi states.

Nabi gives him a cheeky smile. Yoongi clears his throat and begins to take care of the horse. "Sorry Guardian, I'll just be on my way."

He walks away and glances behind him to see Nabi gathering her long robes and hurriedly walking up the many steps that led to the entrance of the colossal palace.

Nabi could hear Yoongi's small laugh from behind her as she went, making her smile.

Many of the palace workers that recognized her would too stop what they were doing to bow, she would do her best to do the same with her hurried pace. Not even bothering to change out of her normal robes, a somewhat dull look compared to her usual attire to help her blend in, as she ran to find the door to her brother's room.

Stepping inside, she was met with a brotherless room. She wrapped her arms around herself, needing a source of comfort to prepare her for the talk she was about to get. There was nothing dark and scary about the place, but it still caused a cold chill to run down her back and the hairs on her arms raise. The room was very well kept considering Jin did not let any workers into the room or around his belongings. As she walked further in, the corner of the room drew Nabi's attention where a large canvas sat, the first few details of a panting started. There was a deep emotion attached to it, something dark and consuming, as well as many other feelings she was unable to be explain, it was all lost to her. On the painting, all she could make out was a figure in gold armor, the face all too familiar.

"Do you like it?" Jin whispered out of nowhere making her jump.

"Brother." She breathes out, spinning to face him, holding her heart. "I was just admiring what you've started."

Jin faces the painting but looks towards Nabi out of the corner of his eye.

"I needed something to do when I cannot sleep. My dreams have not been kind recently."

One of Jin's individual traits was seeing the future in his dreams.

"I told you to come find me when you are troubled." Nabi worries over him and places a hand on his forearm.

Jin places his hand over her own.

"It is but a small issue for the time being, the dreams change daily. You know I'd come to you if it were anything important."

Nabi looks to her brother as he further studies the mostly empty canvas. The bad feelings inside her grow worse.

"I sense something growing, it radiates around the room. It makes me sick to my stomach." She barely speaks out loud.

Jin shows no further emotion but she can tell he fakes a smile as he turns to her again.

"I doubt it has anything to do with the otherworldly. I shall send one of your maidens to get you a medicine. Go rest and try not to venture too far from the walls again."

Nabi froze, hoping to skip the scolding today.

"I'm sorry-"

Jin raises a hand to stop her.

"I sent another to watch you. A little birdy had told me V has been less than useful lately."

Nabi tries to show no fear in her features but couldn't withhold her good nature.

"You didn't hurt him, did you?"

Jin looks to the ground with a small laugh but his eyes snap to her full of rigidness.

"My soldiers should be none of your concern sister."

A very uncommon emotion for Nabi started to rear its head. She clenched her fists to her side, nails digging into her palms.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" She breathes out trying to calm herself. "Do I not rule this kingdom by your side? Are we not equals?" She steps further into his space. "Tell me if he's hurt so I can help him."

Jin closes the gap between them, capturing her chin between his fingers.

"You know better than to speak to me that way. Know your place girl and do not test me."

She pushes away from his grasp but does not retreat.

"Know my place?! You are nothing without me." She growls.

Jin looked to her with a raised brow, a smirk growing, he breaks the tension with loud claps.

"Now this is a side of you I've rarely seen, let's hope your holy followers in the palace have not heard." He crosses his arms, his right hand playing with his chin in thought. "Although I quite like this side of you." His sickening smile grows.

Nabi comes back to reality quickly, a little shocked herself.

"I-I'm sorry brother." She holds her hands close to her chest. Panic setting her pulse ablaze. "It's this room it makes me...on edge. I do not understand these emotions I'm feeling."

Jin gives her a dismissive gesture, Nabi could not help but feel as though he had meant this meeting to go this way. Like he had expected her to act in such a way.

"Apology accepted." He grabs her by the shoulders and aims her towards the door. "Leave me and get some rest. I'll help the cooks make your favorite soup for dinner."

Nabi turns to hug her brother, not used to small spats with him.

"I love you brother."

Jin lets out a small sigh but answers back.

"As do I sister."

She did not feel any emotion behind the words.

He gently pulls her off himself and walks her to his door. Nabi shows herself out as he closes the door behind her. She catches her lip in her teeth trying to understand the interaction that happened minutes ago, her mind drawing a blank. She can count on one hand the amount of times she has felt anger before, and each has left her with a sense of amnesia. Her soul was not made to house such an emotion. She was created to do and spread good, not to wish harm among others.

Unlike her brother, Nabi is closer in comparison to those who are considered a normal person. Some say she has not reached her full potential yet; she believes she was made that way for a reason. To further her knowing of empathy among the humans, something she cannot rule without.

A hand reaches out to grab her arm. Startling her once again into reality. She did not know how long she had been standing outside her brother's door.

"Guardian." One of her maids, Sara, greets her. "I was told you are not feeling well. Allow me to lead you to your suite."

Nabi just nods. Slipping back into her mind. She contemplates the occurrences in her life, those that had led her into small fits of anger. The first occurrence being when she was a child and a follower had offered her a small poodle as a gift. Later in the day another child had tried to play with it, resulting in the kid crying in the dirt with a bloody nose. The other big occurrence being over a tear in her favorite dress, where she was then being rushed away from a fire, she had started over the bush that had torn it. Today's incident was nowhere near the worse, but it had been a good five years since she had been lost away in such blackness.

Numbly she finally realizes that the sun has set, and she has been tucked into her oversized bed. Sara places a tray full of fruits and the soup her brother had made on her lap.

"You brother said there's leftovers in the kitchen must you want more. I'll be right outside if you need anything more of me."

Nabi gives her a small smile and begins to pick at the fruit on her tray. Usually being her favorite thing to eat, the soup her brother had made seeps off the smell of rotting flesh, quickly making her throw up everything she had eaten that day.

"My dear." Sara runs to her side, starting to clean up the mess. "Are you feeling that ill Guardian?"

She begins to feel her head for signs of fever, while drawing Nabi up from her soiled bed.

"Please sit." She sets Nabi down on an overstuffed couch. "I'll make another bath for you."

Her consciousness fades in and out, finally laying way to a dreamland.

She is once again in her favorite place. The water roars above her but she is not alone. A familiar figure stands in her embrace and warms her soul. With such a perfect scene, she is surprised to find tears covering her cheeks. A deep ache resonates through her chest, she looks down so see a black liquid staining her skin and a hole where her heart should be. Without a warning the man brushes the tears from her face, then brushes back small strands of hair. He captures her cheeks in both hands before kissing her. He smells of earth and tastes of mint. Her heart begins to thrum happily, quicker and quicker as the kiss develops into one of shared tongues and quiet sighs. The ache in her chest also grows. She breaks the kiss to looks down upon herself again, seeing cracks splintering over her skin like cracked stone. It is realized then what this dream is trying to tell her, the thing that would continue to bring on these dark occurrences in her life. If she continued on her path, Love would surely be the best and worst thing to ever happen to her.

[uweiy]

Epilogos

Gaon has heard people say revenge left you empty. It might be true.

It definitely isn't true for Kang Yohan.

Rather like he finally drove out the demons plaguing his existence. Where Yohan was sharp, he is now gentle. Where there was torment, there is now peace. And Yohan wears peace like a halo, hard-earned and precious. 

The first months are still difficult, in the way change always is. 

Elijah doesn't want Yohan with her when she goes to see her physical therapist. It bothers him, Gaon can tell. To leave Elijah in a stranger's hands, to not keep an eye on her even just for an hour, but he's trying to give her more independence, and Gaon's heart bursts with something like pride. 

 (Gaon checks on her whenever he can and give Yohan little updates on how the treatment is going.

Yohan pretends not to care.)

 It also feels weird, leaving for work, while Yohan stays at home. 

 Yohan doesn't ask about the ongoing restructuration process, though Gaon knows he misses the court work,  misses the attention, the show. Gaon guesses he has a lot to figure out, including who he is without those things. So, by tacit agreement, they avoid bringing it up.

 It doesn't keep Gaon from wishing he could ask for Yohan's opinion on some matters. 

 Turns out, it was way easier pointing out the flaws in Yohan's decisions when Yohan had been in charge, than being the one in charge. Or one of the people in charge at least. 

 Gaon doesn't think justice should rely that much on just one person. That one mere human should hold that much power over justice, and over the people.  Gaon was already liked, thanks to Yohan paving the way for him, but he declines brand deals and interviews, and just generally avoids doing anything that might get him too close to getting a fanbase. 

 Jin Joo is much better than him at this anyway, so she handles most of the public-relations part. 

 He tries to balance out what Soohyeon would do. What Yohan would do. Then he breathes out and thinks what he would do.

____

 One day he comes back to find Yohan sitting cross-legged on his armchair, staring blankly into space. 

 "Yohan?" 

 "She said I was made for it."

 "What?"

 "Sun Ah. She said I was made for the stage."

 "The stage was made for you," Gaon answers cautiously, still standing under the arch that crowns the entrance of the room. They are still learning how to approach each other, with words rather than with violence. The latter being the easier way, for them. "not the other way around. You are made for whatever you like. Whatever brings you peace. "

 Yohan considers it.

 Gaon crosses the distance between them. Yohan looks up, just in time for Gaon to effortlessly press a kiss to Yohan's lips. 

 "What was that for?" Yohan asks, when they part.

 "Nothing. I just missed you."

 "Mmh." Yohan hums. He seems pleased.

___

"You understand, we are trying to build a system that is fair to everyone. So I can't start with making exceptions for you." Gaon says, out of the blue. Yohan peers up curiously from his journal. "But technically one you're dead, and two there is a legal vacuum right now, as all the laws are being rewritten. So, if you wanted to go outside the property well. There would be nothing to stop you. Just saying." 

 Yohan never had a problem with breaking laws before, yet he seems to have been holding back. Gaon thinks part of that stems from the fact that Yohan doesn't want to cause trouble for Gaon, and his new functions. 

 Yohan only snorts. "Duly noted."

 Gaon must have guessed right though, because Elijah reports that she notices Yohan wandering out more and more often. When Gaon asks Yohan about it, he simply shrugs, "People all wear masks anyway."

 But there is something, a glow on his cheekbones, a sparkle in his eyes that tells Gaon that he is enjoying this newfound freedom. 

 He tells Gaon about the nice spots he discovers. Sometimes he takes him there, too.

_

 "What's that?" Gaon eyes the package on the kitchen table.

 "Some old lady gave me fish." Yohan sounds so bewildered at the memory that Gaon has to bite his lip not to burst out laughing. He fails.

 "I don't see what's so funny about it." Yohan grumbles, but the corners of his mouth curl upwards.

 From there on, they often get fresh fish. 

_

 "I'm starting to understand what you mean," Yohan says one day. "About people."

 ___

  That isn't to say there aren't any bad days. One time, when Gaon gets home, he finds Yohan shirtless, essentially tearing open the floor and the walls with what seems like an ax.  

 "What are you doing?" Gaon has to yell over the rhythmic noise. 

 Yohan doesn't even register he's there. Gaon notices there are small, bleedings cuts everywhere on Yohan's bare skin, from the splinters of ceramic and wood.

 Yohan brings his utensil down once again, shards flying when it hits the ground.

 "Stop!!" Gaon yells, and he surges forward to catch Yohan's arm. Yohan halts and finally seems to remember himself as he takes in Gaon's presence, Gaon's hand on his arm. 

 "Stop," Gaon repeats, softer. "You're hurting yourself."

 Yohan exhales a shaky breath and lets the ax fall to the floor. 

 "I hated the pattern," he states eventually as if it explains everything.

 Gaon studies him. He doesn't press.

 "We'll redecorate," is what answers after a beat. 

  He can wait until Yohan is ready to talk. They have time after all.

 ___

 "I used to hate the whole house," Yohan says that night, unprompted, his voice so low Gaon almost misses it. He's facing away from Gaon.

 Gaon has abandoned the guest bedroom a long time ago, so late-night discussions are a common occurrence, even more so than before. 

 Yohan turns to Gaon, settling on his pillow. It's so dark all Gaon can see is a tiny fleck of reflected light in Yohan's pupils. 

 And Yohan begins to tell Gaon about his father. 

 Though Yohan relates everything very factually, Gaon feels it all. Resentment against an adult who should have done better. The helplessness of a young Kang Yohan who didn't know better. A strong desire to protect said Kang Yohan. 

 But Yohan doesn't seem to want him to do anything but listen. So Gaon tucks those emotions close to his heart, and does just that. He will keep and treasure all the ones Yohan is willing to share, good or bad, even the ones Yohan probably had had enough of for a lifetime.

 Yohan finds Gaon's hand in the dark and entwines their fingers. 

 "I don't hate it anymore."

 Gaon could cry. He just holds Yohan's hand tighter. 

_

 The next day, Gaon brings home a booklet with different shades of color and patterns.

 Yohan raises a questioning eyebrow.

 "For the walls," Gaon explains.

___

  Sometimes it's Gaon, who wakes up and feels blank. Like the world isn't enough for him to go on.

 He turns to the side and sees Kang Yohan, and reaches for him, and when he can touch him, when he meets Elijah at breakfast, he feels himself coming alive, alive enough to get through this day. 

 Weirdly enough, on days like these, Yohan never fails to suggest watching a movie in the evenings.

 He always seems to know.

___

 "I'm sorry." Gaon whispers sometimes.

 Yohan hears him every time. He doesn't need to ask what for. Every time he says the same thing.  "I forgive you. Do you forgive me ?"

 Every time, Gaon answers the same thing.

 "Yes," he whispers. Of course.

 ___

 One day, Yohan asks, "How is the restructuration process going?" And Gaon almost walks into one of the marble posts. Innerly. Externally he maintains his composure and fills Yohan in on what they have been doing. Yohan wants to know every detail, asking very specific questions Gaon answers as best as he can.

 "I could use your help." Gaon says. "If you wanted to."

 ___

 "How's Yohan?" Jin Joo asks casually, and Gaon almost spits out his coffee.

 "I- What? I don't know what you're talking about."

 "Oh please. You were a zombie that day. A walking corpse," she gestures. "And two days later wham bam color is back in your cheeks and you're fine again? tsk tsk tsk," she waves a finger in Gaons' face. "I'm many things Kim Gaon. An idiot is not one of them.

 "So it seems." Gaon answers cheekily.

 They had never quite been as close as they could have been, their relationship unknowingly strained by the strings pulling on both of them. Now though, Gaon can definitely say they're friends.

 "Kim Gaon!" She slaps him on the back.

 "Aah, I'm joking, I'm joking. You could drop by sometime," he says, more seriously. "He would be pleased to see you I think."

 "I'll think about it." Jin Joo says. 

  The last days before Yohan and Elijah travel to Switzerland are no more no less eventful than the ones before.

 Gaon isn't scared this time. He doesn't feel as broken anymore and he knows it's not goodbye forever. It's not goodbye at all.

 "If anything happens" Yohan searches Gaon's face. "I'll be back immediately."

 "Nothing is going to happen." Gaon assures him "Just worry about Elijah for now. You better call though!" Gaon calls after him.

 Yohan chuckles.

___

 It's Gaon who calls Yohan first. He calls for everything and nothing at all actually, no matter what time of the day. 

 To his team, he's calling his "legal advisor". In a way it's true, no one knows the law and its flaws better than Yohan. 

 So it was bound to happen.

 "Hyung about article— uh article 17.3 the one who references the codex—", Gaon stutters and continues his sentence without really registering what he's saying.

 It slipped out so naturally. 

 Yohan doesn't comment on it so Gaon almost thinks he will just let it slide, when right before the call ends—

 "Hyung huh?"

 Gaon can hear the smirk in Yohan's voice.

 "oh you shut up," Gaon says weakly, his face burning.

 He keeps using it.

__

 Yohan calls as well. 

 The first time, to ask how to make pasta, that is not instant ramen.

 Gaon thinks he can probably manage on his own, but if Yohan just needs an excuse well. Gaon isn't going to stop him.

 "You have to put in water first. What kind of pasta did you get?"

 "Wow thanks." Yohan says, sarcastically. "Some kind of tubes with stripes."

 a silence.

 What now?"

 Gaon laughs. "Hyung, you're hopeless." But he walks Yohan through the steps. "mince the onion and the bell pepper..." "that's right add the sauce" "... perfect."

  _

 Yohan can definitely manage on his own. but he likes to hear Gaon talk. 

 "You'll have to show me next time."

 ___

 The calls become more and more frequent as Yohan gets accustomed to it. Soon he doesn't even try to find pretenses anymore.

 Gaon spends every holiday over there. Works remote when he wants to stay longer. Yohan flies back to Korea when Elijah has busy weeks. 

 "She's happy I'm leaving her the place, so that she can throw get-togethers with Margaret and Ellie and whatnot."

 Gaon raises an eyebrow.

 "I've had Lawyer Ko run extensive background checks on them."

 "Of course you did."

 They make it work.

   Later, when Gaon feels like things are stable enough, he packs his things and leaves. He leaves everything into Jin Joo's hands and joins Yohan, wherever they're staying — Korea, Switzerland, anywhere — for good. 

 ___

 Much, much later even the Kang mansion becomes well known under another name. 

 Saint John's orphanage, where the children are well cared for, their scholarship fees paid for by anonymous benefactors, in hopes that there might never be another Kang Yohan.

 Only the food is terrible, apparently.

~Fin~

___

Read entire part 5 on ao3

<< Yohan gets a cat aka prologue of part 4.

💙Masterpost❤️

[linphd]

Their soulmate is a hero | Headcanons

gender neutral

-> Soulmate AU where the villains find out their S/O is a hero and/or a student at U.A.

-> Tomura Shigaraki, Jin Bubaigawara, Kai Chisaki.

-> warning : with that theme, it might turn angsty for you 💀

Tomura Shigaraki

He met you during the USJ attack. You were a third year at U.A, but you were called to rescue 1A students with some teachers, since your quirk was really helpful to protect many people at the same time. Once Shigaraki’s eyes met yours, he realized you were his soulmate, and he wasn’t going to let you go.

Of course, you had noticed something was different. But you thought your soulmate was one of the 1A students, and really not the chief of the League of Villains, who had tried to kill your classmates a few days prior. This was a disadvantage of the soulmate system ; when they were many many people, you often couldn’t tell exactly which one was your soulmate.

Meanwhile, he knew you were his soulmate, because it changed when he tried to attack you -that was actually the reason why he spared you in the first place. That’s why his obsession over Izuku kind of faded and he developed an obsession over you instead.

He had to know everything about you. He loved you already. That’s why when he went to the mall to find Izuku and threaten him, he actually got caught into spying on you, making him almost forget about the boy. That’s how he found out what kind of clothes you would wear, and he listened to your conversations.

Once he gathered enough information to learn how to tame his quirk, he attacked U.A once again. But this time, his target was you and only you, ending up in your kidnapping. Of course you were terrified, but you knew your teachers would save you eventually.

‘’I got you some outfits, they’ll surely fit. Toga stole your blood last time so she could turn into you and try on the clothes.’’ He started. ‘’For now you’re handcuffed, but maybe if you behave and I fully trust you, I’ll let you walk around in the hideout.’’ He said, a creepy smile on his face -it didn’t look forced, though.

He would often give you food and let you go to the bathroom -still accompanying you so he could make sure you wouldn’t escape. However, everytime you would turn down his affection or remain silent after a question, he would throw a tantrum like a maniac and send another member to check on you.

‘’I don’t want to hurt you, cause I know how soulmates work. But if you don’t get cooperative and refuse to love me, maybe I’ll have to force you a bit.’’ He once said. He truly loved you. He loved you enough for you both... Maybe the teachers will find you someday.

Twice | Jin Bubaigawara

He actually met you when he attacked U.A. You were one of the pros sent to help and protect the kids and teachers, and he bumped into you on this day. Luckily, you didn’t notice the changes much since you were focusing on saving everyone.

Twice had the chance to be masked when he was a villain, so he wouldn’t be recognizable without his costume, and he also didn’t use his real name. That’s why when he met you at a café, claiming you both had crossed ways a few days prior at the mall, you didn’t question it.

You could tell he really was your soulmate, and you would have never thought you would actually be destined to end up with a villain. He looked nervous and had a huge scar on his face, but he was really attractive to you, and seemed really nice. He told you about his smoking bad habit, but you didn’t really care.

Since that day, you kept contact and went on several dates. He even showed you the apartment he was ashamed of, and told you his quirk was voices in his head -that’s why he was so nervous all the time. Of course, you didn’t doubt his words. He genuinely loved you. And that is how you started dating.

He never told you about his real quirk and that he was the infamous Twice, the cloning villain from the League of Villains. Why would he ? It would ruin everything... He enjoyed going to your house and feel your hands going through his hair, without being scared of the consequences.

Sometimes, he felt bad about lying to you. But if you knew, you would leave him. And if you wouldn’t, you would get in trouble, despite it not being your fault ; and he really didn’t want anything bad to happen to you, even less if he was the source of trouble.

However, one day, Shigaraki told the League they would attack a group of heroes meeting at the mountains -you were one of those heroes. That’s when Dabi noticed something was odd about Twice, and even if he was able to keep his real identity a secret when he was with you -maybe because of how calm you would make him feel- he couldn’t keep the fact you were his soulmate under pressure anymore.

Dabi didn’t say anything. He didn’t even tell another villain. But he noticed that when he tried to attack you with his flames, a clone of Twice had taken your place. Also the fact that he rushed to push you, acting like it was a front attack, when the brunette tried to burn you a second time. But he won’t say anything. Not for now.

Overhaul | Kai Chisaki

Actually, he met you by bumping into you when you were still a student at U.A. You were in your last year so you could patrol on your own, and he wasn’t a big villain yet. You didn’t notice he was actually your soulmate since you were focusing. But oh boy, did he notice.

‘’Hero, a filthy little hero’’ he kept repeating to himself since that day. Even though he tried to bump into you again some time, he never did. Actually, once he became more powerful in the yakuzas, he started to send some minions to find you.

After a year, you had started working at the agency you had been an intern several times at. Meanwhile, he knew where you lived, what exactly your quirk was, the places you would go to often, and even who your closest friends were.

He knew he was going to get in trouble if he allied with the League. He knew if the League was involved, then U.A would be. Thus, some pros would, and maybe you would be one of those pros. That’s why Kai often couldn’t sleep at night and was even angrier than usual.

‘’It’s else that, else fighting you, with a chance that I might not survive.’’ He would say, in his way to your apartment complex with some of his minions. Usually, they would go alone. But it was way too important for Kai to send them on their own. He would have even gone alone if he wasn’t disgusted by touching the dirt you lived in.

He didn’t plan your kidnapping to be that easy, but it was. And even if your quirk was powerful, Kai had studied you enough to know how to tame it -mostly if you were taken by surprise, else his non-desire to fight you from front.

Your eyes widened when you woke up and realized he was your soulmate. Seeing you panicked, Kai decided to tell you his story to calm you down, and so you could get to know him. He thought it would be fair for you to know, since he pretty knew everything about you.

‘’I’m so sorry it has to be that way, my dear. But I have to purify humanity from its sickness. Maybe in another life where you’ll be quirkless, we’ll get to be together.’’ he said, before disintegrating you. His minions then burnt your corpse, to leave no trace of your existence and death. And even if Kai never mentioned you after that, he was always saddened by the fact he could never live with his soulmate.