#it’s a good way to understand how I think lol

[cripplecharacters]

How to Support People with Facial Differences - the Face Equality Week 2024 Special

[large text: How to Support People with Facial Differences - the Face Equality Week 2024 Special]

Today is the 13th of May, which means that the Face Equality Week has just started. This year's theme is “My Face is a Masterpiece” which is probably my favorite sentence ever said about having a facial difference. Huge fan, should be used way more often in my opinion.

Because of this occasion, I would like to share some thoughts about Face Equality that I think are rather entry-level, i.e. you don't need to know much to execute these, but you can still support us.

Stop the stare.

I know it's fun to stare - or so I guess, at least - but maybe you shouldn't. Next time you see someone who has a scar or who's face does not move the same way as yours, just mind your business. We can tell when you're “discreetly” looking.

Don't call us deformed. 

Knowing how the people you're trying to support actually call themselves should be an absolute first step, but most people still fail here. Most of us don't appreciate being called “deformed”. I certainly don't. Say “facial difference”, or “disfigurement” if you must. It's 2024. Leave “deformed” to medical reports from the 70s.

No more “What happened?!”s.

If you aren't a doctor, there's a high-to-100% chance that it's none of your business. It's cool that you're curious - keep it to yourself.

Stop insinuating that we are ugly.

“Support people who are ugly!” isn't very supportive. I would say, not in the slightest. Say “people who don't fit the current beauty standards” if that's what you mean. 

Or, to go with this year's theme, “people whose faces are masterpieces” : )

Use critical thinking online.

Is the reaction photo actually funny, or is it just a person with a craniofacial condition? Is the meme actually a meme, or is it just making fun of a person with a facial disfigurement? Is body-shaming suddenly hilarious to you when the person shamed has strabismus? 

If the entire punchline is “lol they have a disability xd”, it's ableism. Plain and simple.

To go with the point above - your joke is probably not funny.

We get it! You can't help telling us how "you're going to hell for laughing" (which yeah, probably) and how we remind you of the ugliest character you have ever seen. I guarantee you that we heard it, and that you are behaving like an edgy middle schooler who hasn't "found out" yet. It's boring and annoying. Also ableist, but you're aware of that already if you're saying that you're going to hell.

Stop with the goddamn trigger warnings. 

We aren't “body horror”, we aren't “gore”, we aren't something that you need to advise your viewers to use their discretion over. Every “graphic footage: child with neurofibromatosis” and “#tw burn scar” is a sign of ableism and disfiguremisia. People with facial differences deserve to be seen. Ableds can survive seeing a person without a nose.

Do a basic reading on what disfiguremisia is.

New word! And a pretty damn important one. It's a brand of ableism that intersects with more or less everything, and it means discrimination and hatred of people with facial differences/disfigurements. The bullying, harassment, endless name-calling, and microaggressions are all results of disfiguremisia. The ways in which everything is harder for us isn't some unchangeable rule of how the world works, it's just an extremely prevalent type of discrimination.

Understand that we are people.

I know, revolutionary - and yet impossible for so many people to get. We can be a visual representation of evil when it's necessary, we can be a feel-good inspirational story on a morning talk-show, but not much else, it seems. In reality, we are complex, we have our own lives, we can be happy and sad and have the same exact joys and worries that you have.

Hey, artists - facial differences don't make you evil.

Title stolen from a great essay by Lise Deguire (link). When's the last time you saw a positive character with a facial difference that wasn't inspiration porn? I mean a character that's not edgy, full of angst, a murderer, or a villain. Based on what you see in the media, you'd think that having a scar renders you evil on the spot, but in reality it just makes you loathe how artists apparently think you are like. It's boring, it's overdone, it's ableism. Stop doing this, and start noticing when it's being done. Point it out if your friend is writing their new villain to be an evil burn survivor. This kind of portrayal needed to stop ages ago, but tomorrow will be a great time as well.

Before you reply with “I've never seen this” - Darth Vader, Lion King’s Scar (subtle name, great thing to teach kids!), Freddy Krueger, Voldemort, we could be here forever. You're just not paying attention.

Pay attention to where we are not included.

As discussed, there are some places where you see us all the time. But where do you not see us?

Advertisements (unless it's for a scar-removal cream, of course). Fashion shows. Magazine covers. Romance movies where we are the main character.

We deserve to see ourselves in what's around us in the same way able-bodied people do. Trying to make it seem like we don't exist - that's deliberate. 

Interact with our art.

We draw, write, sing, act in movies, we do everything! Support us in the most tangible way - leave us a nice comment, read our books, listen to our songs. Watch movies where actual people with facial differences star, not pseudoinspirational stories about how “being disfigured is ok” where they shove an able-bodied actor into a full face prosthetic just to not have an actor with a disfigurement on set.

Include us.

As this year's Face Equality Week calls for, include us. In art, in movies, in books, in your life. Show us as positive people who are valuable, who are a part of your community - I guarantee that we are in every one that's out there. The world is hostile and unwelcoming to people with facial differences - be the change, wherever you are!

I know that it is different from the usual posts I make, but I hope it was somewhat educational. I just like to use every occasion that I can to force Face Equality into people's heads. To make this at least a bit about writing to keep the blog's theme, I will say that if you want to write about us, you need to care about us in real life as well. Otherwise, it's shallow and pointless.

Below the readmore are some links/resources that you can click to educate yourself further. A lot of them lead to Face Equality International because they have just about everything you should know. If you want to be a better ally to people with facial differences, I heavily recommend them!

#MyFaceIsAMasterpiece

mod Sasza

https://faceequalityinternational.org/2023/04/why-i-will-not-hide/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/disability-is-diversity/202111/hidden-community-the-movement-face-equality

https://faceequalityinternational.org/2022/05/facial-differences-in-the-media/

https://faceequalityinternational.org/2023/04/advertising-excludes-women-with-faces-like-mine/

https://www.phoenix-society.org/resources/burn-community-bookshelf

https://faceequalityinternational.org/about-fei/international-face-equality-week/

https://faceequalityinternational.org/2023/04/hidden-from-view-women-with-facial-differences-in-the-media/

https://www.phoenix-society.org/resources/i-dont-see-your-scars

whoa thanks for actually clicking the readmore!!

[klmp11s]

Heyyyyy, could I request Malleus, Jack, Idia, and Floyd with a reader who can and will pick them up? (I tried to pick some of the tallest characters)

(English is not my first language, sorry for any mistakes)

Summary: twst boys with reader who can and will pick them up Characters: Jack Howl, Floyd Leech, Idia Shroud, Malleus Draconia Warning: Strong male!reader, Established relationships, ooc(?), hcs

Jack Howl

Okay, he's shocked Like you just.. picked HIM up like he weighed nothing?? What?? Okay, it doesn’t matter at all how tall you are, he will feel his face burning in any case. I think he could feign displeasure and ask you to put him down, but he definitely won't say anything against it if you don't. PLEASE don't pick him up in front of other freshmen or people from his dorm. He will be ready to burn with embarrassment I'm not 110% sure that his tail will literally become a propeller lol AND HE WILL NOT LIKE IT He might even get used to this “habit” of yours over time. He will definitely stop paying much attention to your actions, like, yes, you do this literally every chance you get, he knows Having gone through literally all stages of acceptance, he definitely realizes that he likes it. Like, his loved one is next to him and maintains physical contact in a way that is comfortable for him, isn’t that good? He wouldn't directly ask you to pick him up. Nope, but he could definitely give long glances at your hands, be closer than usual, etc. Like, yes, he loves you, but you have to understand for yourself what he needs, it’s too embarrassing for him to say directly, you know?

Floyd Leech

LMAO YOUR MISTAKE, CONGRATULATIONS, NOW YOU CAN'T GET AWAY FROM HIM 🤗 Like, you've already walked on thin ice with your ways of showing affection, but take him in your arms - he's ready to get down on one knee with a ring in his hand (I'm pretty sure there's a cartoon eel on the ring lol) Now you MUST carry him everywhere, you must pick him up and carry him wherever HE wants, no matter the time or place. He is literally ready to jump into your arms both in the middle of a crowded corridor and at some “important” event Is he in a bad mood? You have to take him where he wants to go. Is he in a good mood? You take him wherever he wants and he arranges a casual date for you. He also doesn't care at all who sees the two of you. Azul and Jade? They see this picture every day. One of the teachers? And what can they do to him? Just some random student? He didn't even notice him. If you pick him up from some boring class, he literally won't shut up for the rest of your "trip" I hope you're glad you have hand day every day now, because Floyd isn't going to give you a break after you've demonstrated what you can do.

Idia Shroud

LMAO WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO PICK HIM UP? FROM COMPUTER DESK TO BED? You're right, now he's completely confused, confused and doesn't know what to do in this situation. Okay, maybe he's dreaming? As you continue to tell him about your day, still holding him in your arms, it dawns on him that this doesn't feel like a dream at all. Oh. OH WAIT WHAT- Now for a week he definitely avoids coming close to you. He loves you, but please give him a few working days to come to his senses after this. Okay, now you use it against him. Has it already passed midnight? Take him in your arms and carry him to bed. What can he do to you? At first, he definitely showed his dissatisfaction, but soon he already accepted his fate and even waited for the time when you would come to him. He would definitely fall asleep in your arms a couple of times. You know, the state when you are so tired that all you want is, no matter where, to sleep for several hours in a row I dare say that his sleep pattern is literally based on your habit. By the way you come to his room, he can tell that in half an hour he will already be lying in bed with you in your arms.

Malleus Draconia

He's in love I'm not kidding, you constantly surprise him, don't you? He's never been treated like this, and now you, the man he's head over heels in love with, just pick him up and pick him up? He doesn't even know what to do in such situations. He could definitely ask you to pick him up next time. I don't think he would ASK you to pick him up, but it's not like he's against the idea, you know? This is unusual and however he does not feel uncomfortable, so if you want this, he is always for it. He doesn't care if other students see you. But believe me, if Sebek sees you two, you will HEAR HIM first and only then will he appear in your field of vision lol He is definitely the only one of this group who will take your actions completely calmly. Like, yes, this is unusual, but also nothing completely “out of the ordinary” happened, right? If you carry him in your arms during your nightly dates, he will be on the verge 🤏 to resist the desire to propose to you. I mean: you, your beautiful face in the moonlight, the silence of the night, your calm voice and loving gaze that is directed only at him? Darling, he falls in love with you even more

The characters do not belong to me, they belong to their rightful owners, please do not edit, translate, repost my works on other platforms, also without my permission and @

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

In the past, I’ve spoken AT LENGTH about Hobie Brown’s dialogue lines, and it’s because I think every single one of them are interesting on their own level - each telling us more and more about his character.

I’ve almost gone through them all - ALMOST. But if there’s one line that I find to be super interesting - and super misunderstood - it’s this one.

What does Hobie mean by - “Eh, What of it?”

It’s one of his shortest lines, but I think those four little words can tell us a lot about Hobie, not because of what he said - by WHY he said it.

Often when people reference this line, they say that this shows that Hobie is unaffected or apathetic to canon events - either as a whole, or his own. We usually assume that this is some insight into his background in some way.

But I think this might be something else. Would you believe that this line was him looking out for Miles?

It’s been a while, but hear me out on this. So the question I’m answering today is - ‘Why does Hobie say this? And what exactly is he trying to tell Miles?’

[A SHORT-ish essay where I break down one of my favorite of Hobie's lines. Because I miss writing essays lol]

---------------------------------------------------------

Now, I know we all know the context of this scene - we’ve probably seen it dozens of times now - but I just want to reiterate why we’re here in this moment and what’s happening, just so we can begin to get inside Hobie’s head.

The scene takes place shortly after Miles meets Miguel, and in order to explain, Miguel gives Miles a seemingly rehearsed speech starting with ‘This is Everything.’ The ‘Everything’ speech is a basic introduction to the Spider-verse, to canon events and how they bind all Spider-people together.

At this point in time, Miles has not mentioned his father or his incoming canon event. And Miguel has made no indication that he plans to tell Miles that he’s an anomaly - there’s no reason to, so long as Miles plays along.

So from what we can tell, this speech is something every Spider-person gets.

But what exactly is Miguel trying to do?

I think it’s safe to say that The Spider Society is a cult of personality in many aspects - but not towards Miguel - but towards Spider-man as an entity or, more accurately, an identity.

And in this moment, he’s trying to portray the personal tragedies of Spider-people as a part of a bigger narrative. Miguel is showing recruits that their trauma is not just an individual scar, but a collective one shared for the greater good.

Sounds cultish? Well, because it is. There are many ways you can explain this, but I think Psychology Today’s article ‘Understanding Cults’ says it best.

What does that have to do with Miles?

Miguel is showing Miles his trauma along side all others as a way of ‘creating’ or solidifying his new identity as Spider-man, in order to suppress his own identity as Miles Morales. In order for Miles to submit to canon events for the ‘greater good’, he must choose his identity as Spider-man over his individual identity of Miles Morales.

He shows Miles’ his own canon event, beside dozens of other Spider-people facing the same trauma, in order for Miles to feel included, apart of something bigger than himself. This, of course, is a common tactic of real life cults - the prevailing idea that the victim is apart of a larger, inescapable - often religious - narrative within the universe.

In this moment, Miguel is trying to thread Miles into the fabric of the Spider-verse, in hopes that in doing so - Miles will be more inclined to submit to the tragedy of canon events.

In short, he wants Miles to feel guilty and sorry for those around him.

And it’s working.

Let’s look at the sequence of events in this moment. Miguel introduces Miles to ASM-90, the Death of George Stacy. As soon as he hears the words ‘Captain Stacy’ - Miles looks to Gwen. We can see the concern on his face, and the somberness on Gwen's. Already he is starting to feel the weight of the others’ emotional reactions.

Next, he looks to his most trusted person - Peter B.

Already, Peter B. is facing away, clutching Mayday to his chest. We don’t just get a shot of Peter B’s back - but we also get a shot over Peter’s shoulder. And we see Miles, and his growing worry. This shot signifies, to me, that this moment isn’t just about the canon events of each character - but Miles’ emotional reaction to it.

Miguel’s tactic of guilt-tripping his working. Because look who speaks next.

Miles says to Peter B. - “That happened to you?” - But it’s not Peter who responds. It’s Jess. Undoubtedly, Miguel’s biggest ally in the room. Jess says to Miles -

“And me.”

Jess works for Miguel. And in that moment, it seems like she’s trying to drive home the point that this whole presentation is about. I mean, think about it.

If we are to believe that this speech is a routine one, given to new Spider-recruits to tell them about the existence of canon events, then Jess saying this ALSO isn't unique to Miles. Her saying this, her reiterating Miguel's underlying point in all this -

‘We’ve all faced your trauma - we’re all like you.’

In this moment, we don’t ever SEE a shot of Jess’s canon event - because that’s not the point. We see Miles’ reaction, because that’s what this is truly about. Miles’ feelings, his emotional connection to these people, in order to manipulate him into empathy - and conformity.

But then we get to Hobie.

“Eh, What of it?”

As always, Hobie stands out of the crowd. 

He’s always the one to think differently and to choose his words carefully. And we know for a fact, he’s always on Miles’ side.

When we watch this moment, many people assume it’s some insight to his background. That maybe Hobie was responsible for his own canon event, or have grown apathetic to the idea as a whole. And while those are interesting theories - I think the answer is much simpler.

Hobie isn’t saying “What of it - what happened to me isn’t a big deal.”

He’s saying - “What of it? What does any of this have to do with YOU?”

Think about it, most times we say ‘What of it’, it’s meant to mean ‘what relevance does that information have?’ or even ‘why does it matter?’

Let’s look at an example. Let's say someone eats your friend’s powdered donuts, and your friend questions the group, looking for the culprit. Someone might say ‘X, your favorite food is powdered donuts!’ X might say ‘Yeah, and what of it?’ - as in ‘Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?’, as a way to show that the information being mentioned is true, but also doesn’t affect the situation.

And that’s exactly what I think Hobie is saying.

Hobie isn’t downplaying his own trauma but saying ‘What of it?’, he’s telling Miles - “Okay, but what does all of this have to do with anything?”

What does their canon events have to do with Miles, and his feelings? Why should Miles have to take on their trauma and their pain, when he just got there? 

Hobie knows that Miles followed Gwen, and that him and Gwen care about each other deeply. Upon their reunion, Hobie can see that Miles looks up to Peter - he knows that seeing them in emotional pain hurts Miles too.

And Miguel knows this as well. Miguel probably knows that the best way to convince Miles is through Peter, and Gwen.

But that shouldn’t matter. Miles shouldn’t have to relive their tragedies in his own life just because they went through it. He shouldn’t feel guilty for trying to be different or choosing his identity over the mold Miguel is presenting him.

Sure, Hobie might’ve been hurt in the past. He might still be hurting - but this isn’t about him, it isn’t about any of them.

It’s about Miles, so what does his pain have to do with it? Why should Miguel get to bring up their trauma, and make them rewatch it, for the sake of pulling Miles’ heartstrings?

Why should Miguel get to weaponize their canon events for his agenda of getting Miles to conform? What they’ve been through has nothing to do with it. And Hobie knows this.

So literally, ‘What of it?’

In this moment, Hobie isn’t focused on himself - he’s focused on Miles. So when he says ‘What of it?’ this isn’t a comment on his past experiences, it’s a comment on Miles’ current predicament.

‘Yes, that happened to me, but what does this have to do with you, Miles?’

This interpretation follows the characterization we've seen of Hobie this far.

All of his words to Miles are chosen carefully, all of his words are there to back Miles up - and support him in some way. It’s all Hobie’s thinking about.

And we can see it in Hobie’s face.

Back to the scene. Jess says “And me.”

For a second, Miles’ eyes lingers on her. But after a moment, his eyes goes to Hobie. Hobie, the guy Miles has already decided is cooler, more level headed, a friend of Gwen. Already in this moment, Miles it looking to Hobie’s reaction because he no longer sees Hobie as a threat. In this moment, he’s looking to Hobie for support.

But look at Hobie’s face.

For a moment, he looks visibly somber. For a split second, we’re shown the emotion on Hobie’s face, he’s looking down, lost in thought. [I'm screaming iAHHH i want to know what happened to him SO BADLY he looks so sad :((( I'm gonna cry but also I'm editing this drunk so I'm extra emotional :((( Sad Hobie :((((]

And then he realizes that Miles is looking at him.

But why would the animators show us that, if he truly didn’t care about his canon events? What would be the purpose of this shot?

I believe this split second shows that maybe, just maybe, Hobie does have scars from his canon events, ones he still thinks about, ones that still illicit and emotional response from him.

But when Miles looks at him, immediately, his expression changes.

He tucks away his feelings and returns his attention to Miles. He chooses to set aside his aside his trauma, to play it off and hide it away, because he knows that if he doesn't - Miles will internalize that pain, and that guilt.

In that moment, Hobie can tell that Miles is looking to him for some reason. And that reason is support.

In that one moment, Hobie takes the chance to push his own trauma aside - to be the voice of reason for Miles. The voice to tell Miles that ‘whatever happened to us, has nothing to do with you’.

By saying "Eh, What of it?"

These four words, often thought to be Hobie playing it cool, could be so much more.

It could be one more push to Miles to choose his own path - and it echos back to Hobie’s first monologue to Miles:

In this moment, Hobie chooses to remind Miles, that this isn't about them, or what any of them have been through.

It's about him, and his independence. Hobie is imploring Miles to reject Miguel's narrative - to reject the collective identity of Spider-man.

Because to Hobie, that's what being Spider-man means. Independence, and individuality. He doesn't want Miles to carry his burden, or anyone elses.

And I think this line is the perfect example of that, it shows the depth of Hobie's dedication to Miles, and what Hobie believes in.

________________________________________

In every scene, in every shot, and every line - Hobie is looking out for Miles in anyway he can. And although this theory doesn’t tell us much about his past, it re-enforces who Hobie is as a character: an agent of good and a driving force in Miles’ story.

Maybe Hobie does have canon events he’s still grappling with, and skeletons in his closet. Maybe we’ll one day understand the meaning of his blue laces. But in that moment, none of that mattered. This is Miles’ story, not theirs’, and Hobie knows this.

And that’s true punk tactics. I love Hobie Brown so much i could cry AHHHHHHHHHHHH

_________________________

SOOOOOOO I know it’s been a while but if you read this far - THANK YOU SO MUCH. Sorry if I’m a bit rusty at this, but this is something I’ve been wanting to write about for months now! And Im SOOOO happy its finally done GOLLLY JEEEE

Anyway, here’s Hobie. Bless up.

(right is actual photo of me writing this drunk as hell in my bed lmaooooo im so turnt right now Im sorry if this dont make sense anywayyyyy hes so fine whys he so perfect Hobie I Love YOuuuu wtfffff)

BYE.

[k0yaz]

UGGHHHH hear me out on toxic Yuri with acheron or Topaz like for Topaz it might be a little hard to see but basically she entered the IPC for her own survival. in a voiceline she said "my survival mattered more than my freedom" and as sad as that sounds, imagine her sweetheart (non binary idk preferably female) is back on her planet and her family was killed by the IPC and she can't stand the sight of Topaz anymore because in their eyes Topaz is a traitor for joining the IPC and they're this sad gay couple anyone would cry and throw up at the sight of like this big sloppy mess.

For acheron, I think we can have like acheron travelling and reader crashing into her no matter whag planet who are at each other's throats all the time (one-sided because Ion think acheron would gaf) but reader hates acheron and acheron doesn't go slicey slicey on reader because she wants to keep them around. idk maybe she gets amusement seeing their hateful eyes.

This isn't even toxic Yuri but I BEG YOU WHAHHWHWHHA

ignore this if your uncomfortable lol

I can’t.

Pairing(s): acheron x fem!reader

CW: mostly js hating and stuff, potential hate love relationship idk im just bullshitting warnings to fill this space, oh and Acheron lowkey scares reader by almost going slicey slicey but she doesn’t even notice it lol

A/N: someone get her google maps anyway I love acheron sm swawswwjsjsjs

Your muscles tensed up as a familiar face entered your view, her deadpan eyes locking onto you the moment she saw you. Using your free hand, you drew your hand to your eyes, attempting to shield the side of your head and avert your gaze from the Galaxy Ranger.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

The woman you despise deeply, the one you couldn’t escape no matter where you went.

Who else would it be? None other than Acheron herself.

Without hesitation, you found yourself furiously making your way to her, and your face scrunched up at the sight of her. Acheron stared back at you, her gaze hollow and emotionless as if she was waiting for you to say something. God. That stupid, unfeeling look ticked you off so damn much.

“What the hell are you doing here? Did you get lost looking for your hotel room again?”

You snapped at her, face flushed from how irritated you were upon seeing her again.

Acheron only let out a sigh in response, closing her eyes briefly before resting a hand on her hip.

“I was just minding my own business. I don’t understand what got you so irritated. Do you seriously hate me so much that you have to yell at me when you see me?”

Her tone was nonchalant and insouciant, which pissed you off even more. Why wasn’t she bothered at all? Why wasn’t she matching your energy and at your throat too? The fact that she didn’t exactly care about how much you hated her just made your blood boil, it made you feel so small and petty every damn time. Without thinking, you spat at her again, this time your words more harsh as if they had been laced with poison.

“Well why do you have to be everywhere, huh?! Every time I hope to get away from you I can’t! So why? Are you following me or some shit?!” you almost near yelled, brows furrowing and your eyelids lowering slightly.

You slam a fist onto Acheron’s shoulder, jabbing it slightly as you stare down.

You shouldn’t haves done that.

Your eyes widened, and you felt your stomach tighten as your breath caught in your throat. Your eyes trailed down to the end of her hair, heart pounding in your chest from fear as you saw a small fade of white at the tips.

It was barely there, almost not at all, yet you saw it. No doubt.

That alone made you remember, no matter how much you hated her, she was still an emanator of nihility. She could slice you apart and turn you into nothing but a memory if she wanted to.

However when you looked up, you ended up jumping back and away a good 4 feet from her stunned at what you saw.

Was Acheron- smiling a bit?

Your scornful gaze was still glued to your face as you stared her down, confused as to why she smiled for a moment and why she didn’t just kill you on the spot.

“I don’t hate you, hope you know that. But it’s…slightly entertaining to see your expression.”

She paused, taking a moment to think up of something else she wanted to say.

“And I’d prefer to keep you around, honestly.”

Acheron remarked, turning her back to you as she walked away and out of your sight. You still stared off into the distance with a puzzled expression, before running your hand through your hair and closing your eyes.

What- just happened?

traitor.

Pairing(s): topaz x fem!reader

CW: tragic lovers obviously, reader losing her shit, topaz gets fucking slapped lol idk what else to put here I hope yall know on sfw works there’s usually no warnings, um screaming crying throwing up idk gay ppl wowowow

A/N: meowmoew

“I’m sorry I-“

“stop. Just…stop. Okay..?”

You snapped, bringing your hand to crease your forehead and lowering your fingers down to the bridge of your nose near the corners of your eyes. Topaz could only stare back at you with a dejected expression while averting her gaze shamefully.

“It was for my survival…my love, please. I didn’t mean-“

You cut her off again, fighting back the tears that pricked at the corner of your eyes. You choked back a sob as you spoke in a pained voice.

“And yet you still joined the IPC? Did you even think to consider how I would feel?”

A quiet sob escaped your lips as your breath hitched and got in your throat. Within moments tears were flowing down your face, crying uncontrollably with your teeth pressed together and small hiccups spilling out as you buried your face into your hands.

“…you didn’t have to see the bodies of your family, knowing that your lover is the reason for it.”

Topaz could only watch, heartbroken by your sorrow—and it was all because of her. She reached out, attempting to place a hand on your shoulder.

“Don’t touch me! You fucking traitor!”

You yelled, breathing heavily from your sobbing, along with your nose being tinted red and the dried tear cracks down your face being run over by new tears.

Your hands balled up into fists as Topaz stared down at the ground shamefully, dragging her bottom lip between her teeth as to not cry herself.

“(Name). Please. Let me explain.”

She breathed out, trying to keep her own composure. She stepped forward, placing her hands on either side of your head, her thumb brushing along your cheek.

“You have to understand…my survival mattered more than my freedom-“

A slap echoed throughout the vicinity all of a sudden. Topaz stumbled back, the hand that was placed on your cheek now shifted over to her own, grasping her reddening skin. Her eyes widened for several seconds as she processed what happened, breathing quickening slightly. Her own beloved just slapped her.

It was obvious now. You didn’t want anything to do with her anymore.

Topaz quickly recovered from the slap and sighed, her cheek still a blistering red. She stepped forward, cupping your face again and placing her forehead against yours. She grasped your head firmly, fingers tightening as she tried fighting back her own tears.

“I get it. I’m a traitor. But I’m not a traitor when it comes to us, just know that before you go. I still love you.”

She sighed, pressing herself against you more until your noses were touching, and closing her eyes. You could only gasp from the sobs clawing at your throat in response, barely able to form a coherent sentence until Topaz walked away.

You fell to your knees when she was gone, being able to do nothing but cry. And just like that. The love of your life was gone. You wanted nothing to do with her. The pangs of regret ate away at you as you wanted nothing more than to just forgive her and lay in her arms as you mourned your family.

You still loved her. So much.

But you just couldn’t.

You couldn’t be with a traitor.

A/N: AGAGAGAGSGA UR AN ANGEL FOR SEEING MY POST COMPLAINING ABOUT NOT GETTING WLW OR HSR RAHAHAHAHBDBDBDBD

anyway I have my final tomorrow goodbye yall I’m going back to the dead

@qwnelisa

[haveyouseenthisskeleton]

Omg they're ~~(wanted in at least 5 countries)~~ so silly I need the cheese ask with the other skellies pls

The main boys are here!

Horrorswap Sans - He scolds you for playing with food and starts eating the cheese anyway because he doesn't want to ruin it. But still, stop it!

Horrorswap Papyrus - He dramatically falls on the floor like a dying sea star, the cheese on his face. You killed him, congratulations.

Horrorfell Sans - He throws the cheese against the wall, hisses angrily, and then goes on all four to growl at the enemy. That's only when he realizes it's just cheese that he turns to you and starts to yell at you, asking if you think it's funny. Well. Yes, it is actually.

Horrorfell Papyrus - Are you proud of yourself? Throwing cheese at people who can't even walk to defend themselves. Shame on you. Shame on your cow. And shame on your face because as soon as you lower your guard, Chief slams the cheese back at you.

Outertale Sans - He dodges, mocking your terrible aim, knocks himself out against the ceiling, falls on the floor, and the cheese falls back on his face. Loser.

Outertale Papyrus - What are you? Five? He scolds you for showing a bad example to the children he's babysitting. Now go in timeout to think about what you just did. You regret nothing though.

Dancetale Sans - He ducks, does a back somersault, and shoots the cheese in the air like a pro footballer. The cheese somehow ends back in your face instead of his. Not fair.

Dancetale Papyrus - He screams, slaps the cheese on the floor, slips on the cheese, and falls on his back in an even louder scream. He then gives you an angry stare. You decide to retreat.

Dancefell Sans - He stays still :( He probably deserved this. He's a loser after all. He sits sadly on the floor with his cheese on his face and he stays there. What a drama queen, you swear.

Dancefell Papyrus - You thought it would be fun to do it while he's streaming. You didn't expect the Internet to turn this into a meme though. Poor Tango has his cheese face on every screen of the world for two whole months. He's mad at you lol.

Farmtale Sans - Uh oh. If there's something you don't want to insult, it's Sam's cows. And you just threw his baby's cheese at his face! How dare you! He starts a 10-minute speech about how hard it is to make cheese and how you're ruining his work with your pranks. You can stop chuckling honestly.

Farmtale Papyrus - He gives you a confused look, mildly panicked. Did he do something wrong? Are you angry at him? Why? He doesn't understand what's going on and he's not sure if he should laugh with you or hide or something.

Mafiatale Sans - He gives you an unamused stare, the cheese in his hand. You think you're really funny, uh? You're not going to laugh so much when he will mess with the water temperature while you're taking your shower tonight. But he will though.

Mafiatale Papyrus - Creeper keeps his natural poker face, not really caring about the cheese. He quickly discards it and returns to whatever he is doing. You're pretty sure you saw the shadow of a smile on his face but it's hard to tell, really. He's too good at being expressionless.

Mafiafell Sans - He tries to warn you, but you do it anyway. Suddenly, the leashes of the twenty dogs you were holding pulls forward, making you literally fly. The dogs all jump on Fang so they can have the cheese on his face. As for you, you're biting the dust... Quite literally.

Mafiafell Papyrus - Torpedo does the dramatic turnaround and asks silently who threw cheese behind his head. Because you have a survival instinct, you immediately points at Fang, who is sleeping peacefully at his desk. You feel bad when Torpedo starts to yell at his brother, flipping the desk over with everything on it. You decide it's maybe best to retreat because Fang is staring through your soul and you have a feeling you will pay for that.

Ink - He accidentally put his brush in the way, which opened a portal on an Undertale cheese AU where all characters are cheese. Ink is very excited and insists you two should go to try to eat Sans. You're not sure about this.

Error - He moved at the same time and now the cheese is in his eye socket. Error is rolling on the floor, screaming and glitching in agony, trying to get this thing out of there. Let's just say you better run fast and far away from him.

Disbelief Papyrus - He ducks instinctively. The cheese ends in Asgore's beard, who was just standing behind. You have a fun afternoon planned now, trying to save Asgore's beard without shaving it because the cheese is stuck in there. Delta is lecturing you while you're working.

Killer Sans - He hates cheese. He has the biggest gagging ever, throws the cheese away and runs to clean his face. He can't stand the smell, he swears he's going to grow himself a stomach to puke. You just found a mass destruction weapon randomly. Cool.

Dustale Sans - His brain completely stops working and he starts to stare at the emptiness. There's nothing in these eyes anymore. He stays there, frozen, and refuses to move before you get rid of the cheese.

[pumpkinbxtch]

Yes well, I've been following you for a while and I like a lot of yours… Well everything, I would like to request a Leo Valdez (We all love him, I don't argue) x Children of dionysus, thank you!

love at first eightminutes sight ෴⁠

— leo valdez x children of dionysus!reader

warnings; none, language a/n; hi! thanks for reading me. i'm so flattered 🥹 i hope you like it ): andd ik, In the photo they are cherries but let's be silly, lol.

Those 8 minutes were the toughest for Leo.

Dealing with his concentration issues when people talked about things he wasn't interested in was bad enough, but having to face someone as cute as you while that was happening didn't seem like a good decision on Dionysus's part. Leo was surprised because, being the god of wine and other pleasures, he thought Dionysus would understand.

— Valadez, are you listening? — The god tapped the table, bringing Leo's attention back. Leo saw his name on the corner of the blueprints made by Athena's children and wondered why that man never bothered to pronounce his name correctly, neither his nor anyone else's.

— Yeah, sir — Leo replied, not too enthusiastically, but it was enough for Dionysus to continue his speech, which Leo decided to ignore to keep admiring you. Seconds were enough for him to notice how your lips sparkled with some kind of gloss that tempted him even more to taste them, as well as the way you occasionally bit your lower lip, making him wonder if it tasted as sweet as your gaze, which, unlike his, was focused on your father's explanation.

— Do you understand?—Dionysus asked insistently, thinking Leo was playing dumb. Although he wasn't wrong, the son of Hephaestus nodded confidently for him to continue.

If he could get closer to you... would you smell like grapes? Maybe with a gentle breeze, he could find out, and then he wished he had Jason's power.

— Am I right? — Your father asked you in the middle of his explanation, and you nodded.

— Yes, father.

Leo opened his eyes slightly wider, hearing your voice for the first time, feeling a warmth in his fingertips warning him not to get too excited, or he would end up revealing his interest in you in front of everybody. The way you smiled at Dionysus made him truly want to be interested in what he was saying, but it was a lost cause; you had him in some kind of trance from which he didn't want to escape either. How would Leo feel if he were able to make you smile?

— Then, in this part of the plan is when you come in — Leo was startled by the sudden increase in volume and nodded repeatedly to disguise it, stealing quick glances in your direction to avoid being caught. So when your eyes met his, Leo almost burst into flames from embarrassment. You didn't immediately look away; you held his gaze, and he saw a sparkle in them that he had never seen in anyone else's. Was your mother Ariadne? Were you made of something truly divine, being one of Dionysus's only children?

A smile began to form at the corner of your lips, making Leo feel like he was about to fall flat on his face, but the table he was leaning on wouldn't allow it.

—So? — Dionysus asked, tapping the table hollowly, and the empty look in the boy's eyes said it all: He hadn't heard a damn thing. The god let out a guttural groan and rolled his eyes, muttering something about when his father's punishment would end.

You let out a laugh that immediately relaxed your father's shoulders, and to Leo, it seemed better than any power anyone else could have. Dionysus snorted and rolled up the blueprints, handing them to Leo, who clumsily took them.

—You'll figure it out, kid. Now, scram.

No, he didn't want to leave. Leo began to stammer, trying to find a reason to stay a little longer, but before he could do so, the god was dragging him toward the exit with a flick of his finger.

— Father — you called, and his attention shifted to you, halting the magic. Your father's purple eyes questioned you, and you smiled calmly as you pointed to some papers on the table that had slipped from the blueprints.

Dionysus tried to take them, but you stopped him, asking him to let you do it for him. Leo was dumbfounded. Would you accompany him to the exit? Had he died again? Why didn't it feel as bad as the first time?

Your hair shimmered in the light as you leaned over for the papers, and he noticed that your nails were painted with burgundy nail polish. Everything about you was intoxicating, new, and when you started walking, he felt a heat burning from within him as if he had taken a sip of sherry. Was it because he had fallen in love with you at first sight? Or was that the effect you had on him?

The tips of your shoes touched his, causing him to lose his balance, and you shook the notes in the air.

— I'll walk you out —you said. Dionysus glanced sideways and suppressed a curse because he knew you very well. You never approached anyone.

Leo swallowed hard and nodded, taking steps back to walk with you to the exit of the Big House.

—And well...— Your words came without warning, even to you. You didn't know you had the courage to confront a guy as handsome as him. When Leo turned to you, his curls bounced, making you want to run your fingers through them... and you did.

The brunet jerked back and started to stammer again, yeah, he always acted like don juan, but few times did someone approach him the way you were doing.

—And well?— he asked when his tongue allowed him to form something coherent. You sighed as you descended the first step.

— Are you going to ask me out, or are you going to keep staring at me every time my father calls you?

He froze, wanting to meld into the porch wood, but you didn't let that happen because you pulled him towards you, confirming many of his suspicions. Yes, you smelled like grapes, and you were more beautiful up close.

— Do you want to go out? — he managed to ask after stuttering like an idiot. He looked at your eyes shining along with the smile you showed him, and now he knew how it felt to make you smile, and he had become a fan of it.

— I'll see you around, repair boy —and you pushed him down the last porch step before going back inside.

Oh shit, to hell with the camp blueprints, he had to plan a good date for you.

*don juan: kind of womanizer but not that too much.

[centrally-unplanned]

So I have mentioned before how I think Israel has no strategy in Gaza, and for helping me understand that Andrew Fox has been one of the better sources. He is a little sus, don't have him be your only source, but he has a lot of direct contact with the IDF and gets some of their thinking across very clearly.

He thinks positively of this approach (lol) but in the above thread he addresses one of the big mysteries - why is the IDF fighting on the same ground on loop over and over? And he points out that the IDF is committed to doing no nation building at all:

The answer is simple: the IDF have absolutely no intention of using the clear / hold / build counterinsurgency tactics the West tried in Afghanistan. Why would they? Those tactics were a disaster in Afghanistan.

I'm setting aside the strategic incoherence because tbh its too self-evident. Instead I want to mention a post I made before - America invaded two countries in the War on Terror! Why is only one mentioned here? Yes, Afghanistan was a disaster of nation building - but Iraq is only *perceived* as such. As a country today, it's fine! It's fine. It's fiiiine. Far from perfect, but its functioning and not invading its neighbors.

As I say in that post, that doesn't make the War in Iraq a success, first because lol and second because our goal was not 'have Iraq be chill'. But that is - on paper - a pretty good goal for the IDF to have! They do not care how well-functioning whatever government is there; they certainly don't care about the quality of life or anything in Gaza. For their purposes, the lesson of the US in Iraq is quite positive, expensive yes but pulling that out would be a huge win for them. They have a different goal. So its really a question of "is Gaza more like Iraq or Afghanistan" and honestly that is a no-brainer, its like Iraq way more, from culture to geography to governance traditions.

Now, I don't think this is driving IDF or Israeli decision-making or anything, they have other reasons for being staunch anti-occupation (incompetence being a big one!). But you definitely see it in wider discourse; the idea that COIN/nation-building was discredited by the War on Terror. It shouldn't be, dinged yes but discarded not at all. And its a good illustration of the dangers of essentialism - because the Iraq War was a gigantic mistake, people have a very strong temptation to regard every possible component as a mistake. Reality just isn't that clean, some of the COIN stuff was pretty decent and also for every force that makes war beget war, there are other forces exhausting it and bringing in peace and they win just as often. Its the damage myths can do.

[eggcats]

I'm still (always) thinking about my Housewife Vox AU, so here are my sexuality/history/etc headcanons for Alastor and Vox in it

(I kind of have more for Alastor here, bc almost all of my Hazbin ships involve him so he's the one I've thought about more - I kind of keep similar headcanons no matter what ship I'm thinking of, tbh).

I'm also going to write Alastor being in a rut in this AU, because those fics are always fun, and he will be having sex but it'll be more in a "my mate is aroused and I must please them" kind of way, if that makes sense? I kind of see him as sex-neutral/positive asexual, even in a rut, but the rut makes him a little (lot) more feral and in less control of his instincts. (This is why, before he got into a relationship with Vox, he's never really been affected by the sexual aspects of a rut, because he's only interested in sex as far as his mate is).

(I know my fic kind of tiptoes around any possible consent issues, but I think having Alastor react like this kind of solves it in a way, because he's only interested in making his mate feel good so if Vox didn't want something or began to not like it, Alastor would immediately stop to comfort his mate. However, since he's never before had ANY of his deer/demonic instincts really show before, none of them are sure how he'll react this time, hence the concern).

(I don't mean this in a way to insult any other Alastor-rut fics, trust me I love them, this is just how I'm writing mine here).

I put a readmore here bc I realized how many words I was writing and didn't want to clog your dash, lol.

Alastor:

Asexual - is generally so uninterested he has never masturbated or even considered doing so; knows and understands sex (in a baseline level) but doesn't know anything further as he never wanted to engage or see it; still is only interested in it in a way to experience/watch Vox enjoy himself, wouldn't engage on his own otherwise

Possibly aromantic - the line between "romantic love" and "this person belongs to me" is essentially the same to him, could not tell you the difference (side note: neither can I)

Doesn't know either of those things

Just thinks "I'm the only normal motherfucker alive/in hell when it comes to relationships" and has not had a single question in regards to himself since

Doesn't really understand the difference between being friends/roommates and being in a relationship (hence when he found out that Vox liked him, he was like ah, okay. I don't need to change anything here, since he thinks we're in a relationship, this must be what people DO in a relationship. No need to mention any of this to Vox, surely)

When eventually I do make him have sex, he doesn't really have a preference in position. Generally, I'll include him as the more dominant partner (especially with Vox), but that's more because that's what VOX wants, and Alastor is being intimate for Vox. He has no real preference on who tops and who bottoms, as long as Vox is enjoying himself (and Alastor gets enjoyment out of the act when Vox is)

The same applies to dancing - Alastor teaches Vox how to swing dance, but once Vox learns and becomes more comfortable, a lot of their dancing has them constantly switching the lead and following position, based on whatever they feel like doing at the time

Despite living in the 20s/30s is fairly open minded about a lot of things relating to gender and sexuality, because he lived in the vice district in New Orleans and was exposed to a lot of that (either growing up, or living there as a serial killer, or both).

Some parts of me think that after he murdered his father when he was only around 13-15 (another headcanon of mine), his mother needed a way to make money and so they moved to the vice district, and so Alastor knew and grew up with sex workers and cross-dressers and saw how they were treated by police/society, and so has no issues with them.

Living there when he was a serial killer was also useful, because no one bothers anyone to avoid the risk of setting the police on you.

He doesn't know a lot of more modern terms for things, but Vox wanting to wear a dress doesn't concern him, nor does being in a relationship with a man, since those were things he not only had experienced/seen when he was alive, he's also been in hell for 20 years which is, as a whole, a lot more open minded about things. (I did try to keep him ignorant of more modern things, tho, like he doesn't know anything about things he would have only seen/experienced in hell because he doesn't care about people or relationships, really).

Probably some form of autistic (same, bestie) and takes a lot of cues about how their relationship should be from Vox (which is why he originally didn't feel the need to change his behavior even when he found out Vox was interested in him, because it didn't occur to him at all, and only discovered Vox was sexually interested when it was shoved in his face - however, now that he knows, he's taken a much more active/possessive role in their relationship, including a sexual aspect)

--

Vox:

(Previously) closeted bisexual

Grew up/lived/married/died in middle Americana, white picket fence, 2.5 children, all the houses looking identical, 1950s desperate housewives edition, the whole shebang

DID have a cult, but I'm thinking less Manson, and more "televangelist who extorts his flock for money/power" - this is why he has his hypnosis powers (he doesn't really have them/have discovered them yet, but that's because he's never really had a chance to explore his powers in any real capacity - he basically showed up in hell and then was kidnapped and wifed up immediately)

Did have a wife and children, but wasn't interested in either of them - had them more so because he "had" to and it would look bad for his image, not out of any attraction or love to his wife

All of this contributes to him doing everything he can to try to hide his attraction to Alastor, because he had to do so in life

He's Really Bad At Hiding It tho, because living with Alastor (who, even before he learned Vox was interested in him, has very little boundaries to physical space and just grabs and touches him all the time) is different than being a little attracted to your neighbor

Also, no one in hell calls him out on it, so he never quite realizes how obvious he comes across

Does eventually start his side of the media business, with the help of Alastor, to combine both radio and television to take over the airwaves entirely - becomes the Television/Video Demon, to complete the Radio Demon

Stops Alastor from murdering any and all other media demons/demons who have similar powers over the airwaves, and instead makes deals for their souls to work for him - this is where a lot of his initial power/dealmaking comes from as he rises to also be an Overlord; even when Alastor is the one who finds a media demon he basically just kidnaps them and drops them at Vox's feet like a cat presenting a half-dead mouse to it's owner

--

(Note: I'm aware that Alastor is canonically asexual and he's still in my AU, and I've heard back and forth about him being canonically aromantic and I'm unsure if you'd classify him as aro here too. I'm ace, and I think (maybe?) I might be on the aro spectrum, but regardless I kind of write Alastor like how I'd see relationships/would develop into one in a similar way. I'm not interested in sex or anything, and I've been interested in people/relationships very rarely (and those I am, once I become close friends I'm usually like, oh cool, yay), so I'm kind of using myself as a baseline to figure out how Al feels about things here.

That being said, I don't agree with people harassing other creators who DON'T make Alastor ace or aro in their fics or art, bc it's fan content and so it doesn't matter. Changing a sexuality in a fanfic isn't the same as Actual Erasure and it's wild that people claim that, because I've been reading fanfic since I was 13 and I PROMISE you none of those characters were as queer as I was reading them, lmao. Despite all evidence to the contrary, when they grew up Naruto and Sasuke did NOT fuck nasty in the Hokage office, no matter how much they should have.

Sorry rant, over.)

[sainns]

what flowers do u think ur moots are? (go crazy 🤗)

YAYYYYY ILY anyways. just did people i've talked to recently/in dms but if you want me to give you a flower just lmk :) also this was corny lowkey it just turned into an appreciation post but WTVR!!!!!! i love the meaning of flowers hehe

@hyeinism lilac; innocence and purity/joy of youth. vivi is definitely my closest friend on here, we talk everyday. she reminds me of the beach episodes in dramas, like in 2521 and wifty. she also reminds me of shoujo mangas, specifically takane no ran-san and kaoru hana wa rin to saku. she's just so.. light, not like sunlight but you know pure, i don't know how to describe it butttt yeah, it makes me very happy to know her

@nishibons baby's breath; everlasting love. lorie is the first person i talked to on here outside of public interactions and getting to know her she's such a sweet and caring and fun person. we don't talk as often as i would like (timezones r my enemy) but everytime we do i sit by my phone and wait for her response. i want to know her in every lifetime so we're able to spend more time tgt + theyre typical wedding flowers so me and her r Locked In

@isoobie orange tulip; understanding and enthusiasm. okay, this one's... weird but not in a bad way. i feel like talking to ri is sooo easy and she's a very bright person!!! we haven't talked a lot but the few times we have i feel understood by her or moreso reassured in a weird way. maybe it was because of our convo about handwriting idk!!!

@cupidhoons alstroemeria; strength and devotion/mutual support. i have never said this but liz gives me so much inspiration and motivation to keep writing, she's one of my favorite writers on here. everytime she posts i get a strike of motivation and need to be as good as she is!!!!!!! she's also a very beautiful person (looks and personality-wise) like almost everyone on here but i digress

@bywons purple heather; admiration. i admire sru so much, she's probably one of the sweetest people i have ever met. i see her as a very confident person and i don't think that i am, so seeing her and how she interacts with people/carries herself makes me look up to her sm. not to mention her works are so amazing, i love love love the way she writes, yet another reason as to why i look up to her

@jongocat pink hyacinth; playful joy. bye lila makes me laugh sooo much honestly. we don't talk that often but she's very silly and makes me laugh out loud!!!! i think that talking to her is really easy and i have the hardest time talking to people LOL but i feel very at ease with her. also i hope she gets more into f1 so i can talk to her about it she's so silly lando and charles are her men!!!

[skitskatdacat63]

Happy 5/14!!!!

Aaaaahh not sure if this is my best work 😭 I just really wanted to draw smth for vettonso day but my brain hasn't really been functioning well LOL so I kept dreading working on this, especially bcs its so important to me, y'know? I hope it's good????? I'm happy with the concept, but I was just so unsure on so many of the angles and it was killing me. I did the color thing bcs I thought it'd add something interesting to it :) since I didn't paint it as I usually would

Anyways! Process!

Now I will explain all of them:

Boy king au is where it all starts of course. I think their relationship is the most developed in this compared to the others, but at the same point, they just start from such a different point, especially affection-wise. All of these kinda have a power dynamic, except the last one, and this is the most imbalanced. Fernando is being subservient, the only part of Seb he may kiss(in public lol) is his hand.

Matador au next. They hurt themselves when they try to be affectionate, because they live in the culture of a sport of violence and death. The sword separates them, their love for the sport keeps them apart, in fear that they hurt each other. Seb, yet again, looks down upon Fernando. Seb haunts Fernando's whole career, the constant overhanging presence. Also aside from that, shame that you can't see his three musketeers look bcs of the black background 😔

2012 core!!! I think this one is pretty easy to understand. Both of them often kiss their trophies, more so than any driver. So they're both trying to claim the wdc trophy by kissing it. Maybe you guys should just get rid of the trophy altogether and claim each other! But yes, just like the sword in the matador au one, the trophy and their ambitions divides, keeps them from ever bridging the vast gap between them, at least at that point in time.

The conclusion! Aka what I wish we will get at Imola 2024- kidding kidding. But it is 2024. Finally there is no conflict between them, there's no big thing keeping them in conflict, they can finally come together. Finally they can touch, there is no gap to bridge, they can appreciate each other, and appreciate what they failed to in years past.

The thesis is basically that they always have their aspirations between them, and their aspirations happen to be basically the same thing. Until those are resolved, the gap between them is too vast for them to recognize and/or find any commonality. How do you get along with someone when you're both fighting for the same thing? How do you get along when it feels like one of you is winning more? How do you get along when there's such a vast gap?

In boy king au, it's going to take a while before they both feel settled about the issue of the throne. That's what makes that au interesting, they're trapped in this state of non-closure and they have to actually solve their issues without the matter of one of them simply removing themselves from the equation. They have to find a way to get over themselves and their aspirations, because like it or not they're stuck with each other. I think with the hand kissing, it represents how Fernando, at that point, is only willing to play along with the game if it's tradition, and he often won't budge in other ways. Yes, I will show subservience, but only in this detached, formal way that I don't connect personally to. He's still holding his own bitterness over meaningfully appreciating Seb. Though it's not like Seb isn't at fault. It takes a while for him to not hold things over Fernando, and constantly humiliate him. One day they will meaningfully show affection, and it won't be some sort of power play.

I think matador au is pretty similar to real life, and the 2010s era(it's basically just their actual plot line but in the context of bullfighting.) They're forever going to have this big elephant in the room, and it only really gets resolved when one of them leaves the sport. Once they're not fighting directly against each other, they realize what they've been missing out on and what they were not appreciating for so many years beforehand. They finally come together because they can't just rely anymore on the sport keeping them together. They actually have to make that step to be in each other's lives, rather than just taking their presence for granted.

Also the text on the comic. "We keep missing, and missing, and missing, and finally kissing." It's basically: we keep missing the point of it all, we keep failing to appreciate each other presence in our lives and in our own individual grand stories. But when we're not forced together anymore, we have to make the choice to come together again ourselves. We keep missing what we actually need to do. Missing each other in favor of our aspirations. Etc etc. One day we will finally embrace and there will be nothing keeping us apart.

[kohakhearts]

ive definitely said this before but i think there's this common (and understandable!!) misconception that goh is canonically a victim of bullying and tbh i thought the same thing when jn was still airing lol but now that i have gone back and obsessively rewatched every episode a million times i think it's a lot more interesting to consider what the anime shows us, which is...not a kid who is bullied, but a kid who simply has no friends. and it doesn't seem to be a matter of, like, other kids not liking him. even in the very first episode, we see chloe's classmates asking her about him. it's a very casual "oh yeah, he never really comes to school, does he?" like they don't even really think about him that much. but they say his name respectfully, and just seem mildly curious about it. not really like...mocking or anything like that.

i mean, his whole "i don't need friends" attitude when they're younger could stem from bullying. that's completely possible. but the anime never really goes out of its way to make us think that? like...his disengagement in the flashback in the drizzile evolution episode emphasizes that he's refusing to play with his classmates - and that he doesn't even know why. if he were being bullied by them...wouldn't he have been able to at least articulate that he doesn't like them or that they don't treat him well or that they're just no fun to play with? like i won't say that some bullied kids aren't really unwilling to talk about the experience of being bullied...but in hindsight, they usually have a solid idea of what was going on.

in goh's case, i think he's just like...maintaining what he knows, which is the experience of being isolated and alone. he takes control of that feeling by saying he doesn't need - or even want - friends. he's still doing that when he tells ash that he "accepts" him as his friend, as opposed to just...being like, nice to meet you :) and moving on. he needs to be the one who has that say (and in this respect, his whole w-well would you maybe...consider being MY friend too...?? in jn003 is actually kind of...sweet? and indicative of the change that ash has already begun to motivate in him! doubly so considering ash's response is "wait but weren't we friends already?" bc ash is someone who like...doesn't need that verbalization, and doesn't consider friendships as things you "give" and "take" or whatever. they just are!!!).

ANYWAY, all this to say like. i see where the idea comes from, because he does have those little "you're just like everybody else" lines and whatever, and like...his whole thing with horace - his awkwardness in social interactions, like this. overcompensation for something, this need to prove how Smart and Impressive he is (and his fear of being seen as stupid, like in the horace ep when he's like "oh haha...well...you tell me what you know about celebi first. obviously i know this stuff already. i'm just testing you" when he obviously doesn't know it). but to me that's like...a projection, if anything. he's so determined not to acknowledge that his parents' absence has made him lonely, has affected him in any way, that he twists himself into believing the reason he doesn't get along with others isn't because he's too used to being alone to deal with having friends...it's because they're not worth his time, or they're not good enough for him, or they're just going to hurt him anyway. something something pokemon journeys if goh had learned some dbt techniques

[power-chords]

apologies if you've explained this already, but tumblr search is trash, so I have to ask... why the obsession with michael mann, how did that start?

Oh, man. It’s a long story! In the early days of the pandemic I got a call from my favorite rock musician that he had read a short essay I’d written on his solo album, and he wanted me to contribute a piece to his band’s forthcoming box set. Dream come true obviously, couldn’t say no, so I immediately buckled down on the research end, which for me involved a deeper dive into said musician’s love of film. Mann was on the list of suspects alongside more definitive entries like Coppola and Scorsese, but that turned out to be a happy accident of misreading. (Major shout out to Adam here, by the way, because without his guidance I would have been working with a much more meandering home-brewed syllabus.)

I enjoy movies like any properly adjusted American but they don’t tend to put a spell on me the way music does, or make me want to disassemble the whole contraption piece by piece like a good written story. And Mann’s work was the first time I’d ever encountered films that could have the same effect on me as music and literature. They were hypnotic and enchanting and propulsive, like my favorite records, but they also suggested this dense subterranean architecture of potential meaning, obscured from immediate view but very much there and carefully, deliberately encoded. In other words, these films were like texts imploring (really, daring) you to interpret them.

That’s Mann’s methodology in a nutshell, basically — it’s a seduction gambit, and on me it worked spectacularly! It tapped into my grotesque hedonic animal brain and sparked an intellectual curiosity as well. For me that combination has a narcotic quality that’s hard to explain, but I have an addictive personality. And the more I watched his work, the more it ensnared me like The Footage.* (“WHAT is going on? What is this film doing to me??” Etc.) You have to understand I have no prior experiential basis for this, so as far as I’m concerned it’s witchcraft. By the time I turn in my piece for the box set I have this collateral situation developing, ha ha, oh no, and here I am three years later.

Initially I had wondered if Mann had been an influence on Dulli, but it turned out to be a case of convergent evolution. Or something akin to it. I think they’re just similar in terms of what subject matter they’re attracted to, maybe in their modes of perception and how they make aesthetic/narrative sense of the world. And there is some part of me that keys into that sensibility — whichever part precedes organized expression, maybe even conscious comprehension — and finds it cathartic and liberating and all that good stuff. (I’m a Safety First adrenaline junkie these days so I try to limit my habits to art and pop culture.)

And then he and Meg Gardiner co-wrote an actual book which provoked further investigations, escalations, whatever you want to call them. It turns out that the abyss really DOES stare back into you in the form of numerous spooky historical coincidences. I’m like afraid of Heat 2 at this point because the more I go trawling around in there the more it becomes an eldritch object, LOL. I’m the closest anyone has come to living the film Jumanji, let me put it that way. But the experience has been a blast. And I feel fortunate to have found yet another creator on par with Dulli and Townshend whose work I will be able to take with me and return to over the course of my life, and seek shelter in in that way.

*EVERYBODY READ PATTERN RECOGNITION BY WILLIAM GIBSON!

[sophieinwonderland]

Hi! Voices & Gemstones here, I saw your reboot of my post about the phrase the future is plural and I wanted to ask something. I would send my ask off anon but it's my main blog and I'm a little ehhh about using it lol but I come in good faith

Im a trauma based system, trying to navigate syscourse and I agree the human brain can split with no trauma, I just... Struggle with the idea someone could purposely give themselves alters in the same way we've known systems to function.

Do self created systems have amnesia & memory issues too? What about issues with control of the body & fights for front? Foreign thoughts and emotions? If it's a self created system why would you create these problems? It doesn't seem possible or reasonable to us, but we can't not ask.

If life stress is what compelled someone to start a self made system then... Doesn't that count as some form of traumagenic?

And like we said way forever ago on our blog, we don't care what source you claim as long as it helps your function in life, we just

We want to understand different sources of plurality better, and you seem very passionate about education, so we wanted to ask. Thank you for your time

- Gemstone System

Thanks for the questions! 😁

Do self created systems have amnesia & memory issues too?

Nope! I mean, not generally! There's like, one guide that purports to be able to induce amnesia between headmates, but the process requires months of mental conditioning and I don't know of anyone who has actually gone through it.

I have noticed we have sort of speed bumps when trying to access someone else's memories, and our own memories often pop up in our head more easily than memories from other headmates do. But I wouldn't call that amnesia.

What about issues with control of the body & fights for front?

Sometimes.

It depends on the system though, and it's not something that I feel happens too often.

For us... by the time I was created, my host was already a mature adult. (I think with a lot of systems who are plural in childhood, the lack of maturity probably contributes to internal conflict and sets up adversarial relationships.) If I wanted to front, we could talk things out. Most of the time, he'd let me if I asked, but If he didn't want me fronting right then, we could work out a compromise so I could front later instead. It doesn't always work out perfectly. But 99% of the time, negotiation works.

Things were a bit harder in the very beginning, but we got better with thime.

Foreign thoughts and emotions?

Like, passive influence where we feel the emotions of other headmates? Yeah, we get that.

If it's a self created system why would you create these problems?

Most tulpas are created for companionship, with loneliness being a major reason cited in studies of tulpamancers.

Something that's important to understand about tulpamancers is that most don't make tulpas for the switching part. I think originally, in the very very early days long before I got here, the tulpamancy community didn't even know switching was possible, and it was something they discovered later.

How a lot of tulpas start out is purely in the inner world or imposed externally. And learning to switch often takes effort and practice. Maybe that's another reason you won't see many fights over front in the tulpa community, because switching is often an act of love, where the host is willing to dedicate their time to it just to allow their tulpas to be happy and interact with the world. It's not generally something that we'd be fighting over.

If life stress is what compelled someone to start a self made system then... Doesn't that count as some form of traumagenic?

I don't think so. At least not in the same way.

The typical traumagenic systems is a system who experiences trauma as a child. They separate this trauma and their brain tries to distance them from it. As they undergo repeated trauma, they have to return to that traumatized state and the dissociation becomes ingrained into them as a trauma response, often resulting in the presence of triggered switching once the traumatized state develops into its own entity that holds those trauma memories. At the same time, in avoiding trauma, they distance themselves from the traumatized part, creating these memory barriers.

While one could argue that loneliness is traumatic and therefore headmates created due to loneliness are traumagenic, the tulpa isn't holding traumatic memories of loneliness. They're just created to provide companionship.

Hope that helped clarify things a bit!

Have a nice day! 😁

[mewnia]

Today’s character is Sheena Fujibayashi from Tales of Symphonia! I was really feeling some purple and pink today, and she’s one of the best choices for that :P

[turtleblogatlast]

One of the earliest examples of Leo’s “I’ll do my own thing to accomplish our goal without discussing it with my team first” is in episode one. It’s super, super quick, and ultimately inconsequential, but it subtly sets up a great precedent that I think is very interesting.

When the boys need to grab the medallion from Splinter without Splinter noticing, Raph, Mikey, and Donnie huddle together with Raph taking the lead in trying to devise a plan to get the mystic device. Meanwhile, Leo slinks away and grabs the device by clocking the situation (by knowing his father well enough to predict his actions - something he does with each family member multiple times in the series) and making a move on his own.

It works out perfectly fine, and is ultimately the best move, and it’s honestly okay that he didn’t consult everyone for something so small when it’s such a non issue to get it, but it nicely sets up how this tends to go in the series, including how it goes in the movie.

To be honest episode one is actually really good at setting up a lot of things for each character in the long run, this is just one example that caught my attention, as small and unassuming as it is.

[add1ctedt0you]

The Untamed - Episode 19

Throughout the night, he [Jiang Cheng] had somehow managed to sleep a couple of times. The first reason was that, having been too tired from crying himself weak, he couldn't help from passing out. The second reason was that he still had the hope that this might be a nightmare. He couldn't wait to wake up after some rest and open his eyes to find himself lying inside of his room back in Lotus Pier. His father would be wiping his sword in the main hall. His mother would be angry again and complaining, scolding Wei Wuxian who winked in a funny way. His sister would be in the kitchen, thinking as hard as she could about what to make today. His shidi would be refusing to do their morning lessons properly and jumping around.

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation, Chapter 59, Poisons- Part Four