#it’s been 3 years and tiny human still isn’t fully ours yet

[cassiopeiasara]

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[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 15 Pt 2: Don’t Trust Anyone Who Wears a Floor Length Robe Over Their Casuals in Yugioh

Hey, it’s my birthday, so I’m gonna release this early because the rest of today I just have to work like an adult and that’s no fun.

In the first half of this episode we dunked the worlds smallest plane into a lake and so this second half of the episode involved the kids running as far away from their only responsible adults as they could.

Which like...took whole of less than a second for them to peace out and enter mortal danger.

...I’ve never been in a jungle in India but...I have seen the Jungle book many times...and there’s like tigers and stuff in there, right? and tons of monkeys that are hella mean? And freakin snakes? They sing jazz and scat? That’s some terrifying stuff.

Like these city kids have to learn at some point to fear the woods. But they just freakin don’t. And strangely, the most dangerous thing in these woods isn’t even a snake or something, but a human man just being as suspicious as possible lying prone on the ground.

(read more under the cut)

The card cultist happens to have a British accent, because this voice acting team freakin loves to pull out their British accents. It’s not as lowbrow as Valon, but it’s not as...well whatever Bakura is supposed to be. He’s a lot more tame than Bakura’s, but still very British.

I don’t know if this is because British English tends to be taught instead of American sounding English in many parts of India, but, most likely they just wanted to do an accent. And like...he’s an archeologist...and so the stereotype is there...but honestly, the decision of making this guy British gets weirder and weirder as this episode goes on, get ready for it. None of you are ready for what I assume is the very obvious plot twist of this freakin guy.

Catfish of the century, this freakin guy, I’m pretty sure.

Yugi immediately believes this completely out of place white British stranger in the Indian backwoods next to this inaccessible lake and immediately thinks “yes, my Grandfather crash landed in India EXACTLY where I’m standing right now, and now I must save him.”

Thankfully, Yami exists to gently and politely tell Yugi to hella stop.

Also, I like that Yugi has finally stopped wearing his school outfit out of school. But, he is instead wearing a jacket that is so close to his school outfit I honestly couldn’t tell until the end of this episode. It’s like...I think one shade more purple, it has white piping, and his undershirt has a center seam. It’s nice Yugi has 3 versions of the same black sleeveless undershirt, and this show cares enough to show that tiny factoid about Yugi’s closet.

So, because Yugi is a dumbass and Pharaoh has to just sit back and watch this happen so he can say “told you so” later, they follow this random cultist they found in the woods. Much like Hansel and Gretel, we snack on cake crumbs all the way to the witches house, which in this case, is an undiscovered monolith you would have easily seen from outer space.

HMMMMMMMMMM.

And so get ready for this:

Hey guys.

Remember how Alexander the great was buried in a pyramid?

Now because they’re name dropping Alexander, that’s actually kind of helpful, because Alexander the Great’s favorite damn horse in the entire world died while he was at war with India so he named a city after it. It’s believed to be in Punjab, which is in the Northern part of India

Which means we first of all, definitely crossed the tallest mountain range in the world to get here, and also means that we are like...in some really disputed territory of India right now, and it is crazy that these kids went here for a vacation completely unsupervised.

Another fun fact about Alexander is that when he died, it took 6 days for his body to decompose. At the time, they thought it was because he was a God (or in Yugioh’s case, Extremely Cursed) but nowadays historians think it’s because it took him 6 days to fully die. He just wasn’t dead yet. Had to give it a minute and the ancient Babylonians just got way too excited.

Anyway, Alexander super died in Babylon so I don’t know what the hell he’s doing in India. There is a fun spot in History where his body did get dragged to a couple different places, meaning we probably did lose the original Alexander and there’s a lot of people just guessing at where he ended up...but putting him clear up in India sure was a choice when one of his assumed burial sites was literally Egypt, which would be a more fitting location for a Pyramid and a more fitting location for this show.

Especially since Alexander was trying to invent a new race and culture...it seems a little strange he’d be buried in such a massive pyramid, but maybe he got a really, really good pyramid deal from the funeral home when he was like 28 and just figured he’d change it before the time he died at 32.

Which...now that I’m older than 32, how crazy is it that Alexander the Great died at freakin 32? You blink twice and you’re 32. Is history seriously trying to tell me this guy wasn’t like secretly 62? That maybe he just celebrated his 20th for like 20 years in a row as a royal mandate? I just feel like history is playing pranks on me with Alexander.

Anyway, our weird shady new archeologist guy is named Alex and so take that as you will.

I sure hope Alexander the Great was revived to wear khakis and bother children. Guy conquered the world once and was one of history’s Freakin Worst so he does deserve it, but also...it would explain why he thinks it’s normal to wear a Darth Maul robe over your business casual.

Anyway, lets enter the obvious trap pyramid.

Joey just wanted a nice time running around Northern India. He just wanted to eat some yummy chaat and look at some tourist destinations and maybe glance at a Bollywood star or two. But instead he’s gotta deal with spike floors because Yugi couldn’t say no to a cultist.

Also...one of those spikes clearly went through Tea’s feet, right? And she is absolutely fine? Just checking on Tea’s godlike strength and clearly it is still godlike.

Alex gives us a very long explanation of how he went upstairs and Grandpa went downstairs, and there was a door or something so Alex turned back around and Grandpa was gone.

All of those steps were probably plot relevant and I’ll probably forget all about it in 2 episodes.

The thing is Alex...literally thinks he evaporated. Literally thinks that. But how do you disprove it to this freakin guy who like...might have named a city after his horse once and thinks that’s a normal and acceptable thing to do?

and so Joey immediately leaps onto the haunted playing floor.

the way Yugi said this line was sort of hilarious to me so I may cap it. If I remember to do it (I’ve been a little busier lately, with things opening up, as you can tell because my update schedule is in the toilet.)

So, if Joey jumps in...everyone else has to, also.

And we say good bye to Alex and enter the new forest zone, which looks a LOT like the other forest we were just in.

Nice Protoss armor.

We get some hijinks from the local wildlife, which are all cards but real (but not real because we’re in a board game...don’t think about it) and the off brand Sheikah tablets have helpful monsters in them if you touch em.

This season may have been better off as a video game, being honest.

Joey has gone somewhere else, despite going onto the same game tile, and he’s too busy on a mountain range to really help anyone out. So he’s just gonna vibe up here for a bit.

Tea got up after this point and said along the lines of “k, what’s next?” Because mortal danger does not affect her and she fears nothing.

At a beach somewhere, Tea and Tristan spend some quality time together forming a new family with whatever these creatures are.

And Tea’s love of her winged angel comes full circle and now I will suffer this winged orb for the rest of this arc, pretty sure.

Please admire the number of belts on Tea. Her outfit is like max 00′s and I appreciate that. We’ve had a lot of questionable fashion on Yugioh, but they actually dressed Tea pretty on point this arc. Like I often feel like 00′s fashion is hard to define or describe, but it’s Tea right now. That’s it. She did it, it’s right there.

Yugi gets a new flagship card for this arc, and this time it’s Celtic Guardian. Hell why? I feel like his defining card changes every single arc, and they need to like focus and just give him one. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s still Dark Magician...and maybe the show forgot?

Anyway, if you just got here, this is a link to read the rest:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

I think I forgot that link in the last recap because yo it’s kind of been a while since I’ve updated, I feel. (well I had a graveyard post and those don’t count really) But, we’re back, we’re still going, slowly but surely.

[neakco]

The Lost Temple ch. 2

Ao3 Ch.1 Ch.3 Masterlist

Marinette doesn't fully trust the American Heroes but knows that she probably needs their help.

Tim doesn’t trust these two teens that are definitely hiding something.

Yet they made camp together anyway.

Ch.2 Sleepless Night

It had taken longer then they would have like to figure out a watch schedule. While they had both agreed to an alliance, neither group trusted the other.

 

Finally a compromise was made. Each group set their own schedule. Marinette and Adrien agreed to each do half the night. While the Trio took one 2 hour shift each.

 

Adrien would take the first 3 hours and would be starting his shift with Superboy. Impulse had the 2nd watch which he would share with both of them before she would finish out the night with Red Robin.

 

Marinette was a little nervous, she knew Superboy had heard Plagg earlier. They weren’t used to others being able to hear as well as her Kitty. She was lucky that her bond with Tikki allowed communication via emotions.

 

She stared up at the stars, at least this wouldn’t be the first time she had gone without sleep for a mission. She glanced briefly at the tent the American heroes had set up. It looked cramped. She was quite happy with her blanket.

 

Her and Adrien had tried using tents before but he preferred to sleep up high and she enjoyed the connection to the plants she got on the ground. It always allowed her to feel more rested, even if, like tonight, she didn’t actually sleep.

 

Adrien came to let her know it was her turn so she rolled up her blanket and went to join Impulse.

 

The boy never seemed to stop, he constantly dashed back and forth as he talked non-stop about everything.

 

“Doesn’t that drain your energy?”

 

He stopped short as if he had forgotten she was there. “No, well yes, but II can quickly get back to civilization for snacks.”

 

She nodded as the hero began to move around and started talking about his favourite snacks. She had an idea to run past Red Robin once he joined her on watch. She would suggest it to Impulse but she had a gut feeling that would be a bad idea.

 

 

Tim woke a little early for his turn and crept towards the trees in order to observe Marinette and Bart.

He was a little surprised that she seemed interested in the one-sided food conversation. At least he had assumed it was one-sided until she chirped in with a question about Bart’s preferences on French pastries. He didn’t expect the girl to become so offended when Bart told her he didn’t like croissants.

 

Tim decided that it was close enough to his watch and stepped out of the shadows.

 

Impulse flew into the trees in his surprise while Marinette hadn’t moved. Had he lost his touch? No, she may not have jumped but he noticed she had a hand to her back where it hadn’t been before. He concluded that she had probably reached for a weapon.

 

“Seriously Rob? I love you but that’s just mean.”

 

Tim smirked, “Maybe next time you will pay attention.”

 

“You’re a bat, doesn’t matter how much I pay attention.” Bart grumbled as he waved goodnight to Marinette and headed off to find his sleeping bag.

 

Tim turned back to Marinette and was shocked by the level of malice being directed at him. “What did I…”

 

“Don’t you ever do that again.” Her voice, while harsh, was soft and filled with concern. “I could have killed you. If it was Adrien you had startled you wouldn’t be alive.”

 

Tim swallowed his retort. Normally he would think it hilarious that this tiny enigma thought that she or her delicate looking friend could hurt him, but there was something there. It was the way every sound stilled at her anger, the way his gut yelled at him to run. Putting all this together with their first conversation, he began to wonder if the two teens had been granted power by the gods.

 

Marinette was taking deep meditative breaths. “You are lucky I analyze before reacting.”

 

“Sorry. I had figured you had a sixth sense.”

 

She eyed him, “You were testing a theory?”

 

“Yes. I like to know what my allies are capable of and it’s not like you two have been very forthcoming.”

 

It surprised Tim to see her relax at this rather than get angrier.

 

“The decision to share isn’t really up to me or Adrien. I assume it is similar to your identity, unless what I've heard about Batman is wrong.”

 

Tim laughed quietly while keeping an eye to their surroundings. “We actually tell people our identities all the time, people just assume we are joking.”

 

Her eyes widened, “That works?”

 

“Well it works if the public's image of your two personas are vastly different. People will believe what they want no matter what you tell them.”

 

He was about to ask if she was thinking of becoming a hero when he noticed her darkening look. Unlike before where it had been anger mixed with concern, this time it was mixed with sadness and pain.

 

“You okay?”

 

“People really do believe what they want.” Her eyes turned wistful and she looked up into the trees. “Really shows you who your real friends are.”

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” How was he supposed to comfort her? Alfred would probably offer her hot chocolate and sweets.

 

“No, it all happened years ago. I am mostly over it.”

 

Tim let out a sigh of relief, at her look he tried to smile kindly. “No offense but I was raised by the most emotionally distant people and I really had no idea what to do if you started crying.”

 

The sudden laughter surprised him. That wasn’t a normal reaction. He frowned as he watched her try to stifle the sound.

 

“I'm sorry, it’s just, well, welcome to the club.” She started laughing a little bit harder and maybe a bit more broken. “Adrien can tell you some stories. Well I can two, but mine only start a few years back. I don’t have a life's worth like he does.”

 

“But why is that so funny?” He frowned harder trying to understand if he was the joke.

 

He jumped and threw a batarang that thankfully missed when Adrien suddenly dropped out of a tree and landed beside him.

 

“Where we come from it was always better to laugh instead of giving in to emotional distress.” He turned to Marinette, “You okay M'lady?”

 

“I just,” her giggles increased slightly, “strays, it’s always the strays.” She giggled a bit longer before stopping suddenly and glaring at Adrien, “Why aren’t you asleep?”

 

Tim could see the blonde visibly gulp as he lied poorly, “bathroom. Going back to sleep now. Bye.” He quickly left back into the trees and took off roughly in the direction of camp based off the rustling.

 

“You two are very strange.”

 

“Says the talented human commanding literal super humans.” She snorted. “Oh, I almost forgot. Do you think Impulse could quickly map out the jungle for us?”

 

“If he can keep himself from tripping over roots and snakes then maybe. Why didn’t you ask him?” Tim was curious. She had spent an hour with Impulse, there had been plenty of time.

 

“I figured you were the leader and I would have to ask no matter what. Mostly I was worried he wouldn’t be able to but pride would cause him to say yes anyways.”

 

Tim tried to study her expression but it gave nothing away. “How did you come to that conclusion?”

 

“Simple, Impulse acts like a younger Adrien.”

 

 

Marinette thought back, Chat had been so free. She missed those times. Unfortunately reality had hit them both fairly hard. She doubted if they could ever be that carefree again.

 

“I would deny your assessment if I could.” Red Robin leaned back against her tree and typed into his arm. She hadn’t realized there was technology integrated into the suit. She was almost jealous.

 

A holographic map of the jungle was displayed floating above his arm so she leaned forward to gain a better look.

 

Red Robin pointed to a small area causing a dot to appear  “This is our camp.” He gestured to highlight a portion green. “This is the area we checked yesterday. My initial reports showed activity in these areas.” This time the highlighted red, or brown in the areas that overlapped with the searched area.

 

She hummed in thought, “Add another kilometer to the searched radius. Adrien split off a couple times yesterday.”

 

She could see his eyes shift to suspicion briefly but he complied anyway

 

“If you knew that then you never needed Impulse to make a map, you wanted him to find the enemy.”

 

She nodded but stayed silent and observant. It was kind of nice watching someone else think like she does.

 

“It wouldn’t be a bad idea if Impulse was capable of stealth. “She watched him remove the searched area from the map in order to zoom in on the rest.

 

“You have a plan.” She was grinning, she could already tell what he was thinking.

 

The way he looked at her screamed that he knew that she had already figured it out. She was happily surprised when he decided to continue explaining to her.

 

“I propose that we split up. My team has trackers to keep track of our own whereabouts and comms to communicate. I think Superboy and Adrien take this route.” A Blue and red line appeared on the map. “While we take this path more to the right.” This time the line was red and black. She knew they were supposed to represent his colours but they worked just as well for her. She bet Adrien would have a laugh.

 

“I'll have Impulse cover this middle area in between our groups to cover any gaps and act as a runner in case we need anything. Anything to add?”

 

She bit her lip. These were heroes, she could probably trust them, at least a little. Plus Adrien wasn’t able to sense the temple’s magic. “How good is Superboy's x-ray vision?” Damn it, she thought she had fixed her word blurting problem.

 

Red Robin seemed surprised by her words, “What? Why?”

 

She chewed on her lip a bit more before she felt Tikki's reassurance. “What I am about to tell you is secret enough that it could very well get you killed. Are you sure you want to know?”

 

She watched his face carefully. There was hesitation, doubt, curiosity, and finally that thirst for knowledge that got her into trouble constantly.

 

He finally shrugged, “Just an average day for me.”

 

She smiled but dropped her voice into a serious tone. “There is a temple here that was lost underground years ago. No matter what else happens I can not let anyone get the knowledge and treasures it holds.” She remembered some of the things the monks had told her and Adrien without ever actually explaining what the temple was guarding. “If these people find the temple first then best case scenario has them taking over the world.”

 

Red Robin's voice was low, “And worst case?”

 

“They destroy the entire universe as we know it.”

Taglist @toodaloo-kangaroo

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Pup

You can find the Halloween request post  here :3

Thank you for the request @namjin-fangirling-again​, I hope you like it, even if it’s not particularly cracky but it’s still funny(at least in my eyes)   Request; “  werewolf. Jungkook. Make it extra fluffy and crack ”

Jeon Jeongguk x reader Genre; Fluff and humour. Werewolf au Warnings; Adult language and topics . JK’s dick is mentioned multiple times because i have no self control Word count; 1.5k

Summary; Every full moon you lock Jeongguk in a cell ready for his animal side to take over his mind and body.  But little does he know that he’s not the big bad wolf he thinks he is.

---

The full moon; the lifeforce and also the bane of every werewolf. 

Even though werewolves have been able to switch between wolf and human form at will for centuries now, the full moon still reigns over their bodies and forces them to be in wolf form. In the city, it's a nuisance but nothing terribly bad, most city wolves tend to simply spend the moon hours in their homes watching TV or sleeping it off. Those in the country have it easier; most meet in groups to run and play, take advantage of their wolves natural abilities. But there's a select handful of werewolves that are still affected by the moon like their ancestors; these unfortunate souls lose all grasp on their humanity the moment the full moon makes an appearance and are only aware of themselves again once the sun rises the following morning.

Jeon Jeongguk is one of those poor unfortunate souls and you are the only one that has seen him during these hours in a long time.

"Can't you just leave me here this time?" He complained as you chained the cell he was inside shut. Despite what Hollywood says; werewolves cannot break through thick metal chains during moon hours, they've never been able to either. Though there was that one time Jeongguk snapped his steering wheel a couple of months ago in the midst of a traffic jam leading up to moon hours. But that was purely a mix of stress at the thought of potentially being caught outside once he lost his humanity and his big ol' veiny arms thanks to his daily gym sessions. (We won't go into how hot you found his strength at that moment because that's another story entirely with a different rating and subject matter).

"I'm not leaving you here all night alone." You scoffed settling in your usual beanbag opposite the barred door of his cell and pulling the blanket at your feet around you. "You're lucky you don't feel the cold as much, it's fucking freezing in here."

"You say that every month." He chuckled laying down on the futon with one bare arm behind his head.

"It's the truth. We pay all that money for this room and they can't even install a heating system? We've been robbed, Guk."

"Whatever you say, babe."

You just hummed through your pout and took a few moments to take in his naked muscled form on display for your eyes and your eyes only - it was actually so that he didn't wreck his clothes when the shift happened but you liked to pretend it was all for your viewing pleasure. "How you feeling?"

"Fine, got a while left yet." That had you perking up in your seat. Sensing your movement, Jeongguk looked over at you unimpressed. "No."

"What? I didn't say anything!"

"Every single month you complain about being cold and then ask me to warm you up." He deadpanned.

"As you should, you're my boyfriend." You huffed dramatically.

"We're not having sex this close to moon hours,"

"But..." The look he gave you made you slouch sulkily into your blanket. "It would be fine."

"I'm not risking it. If my timing is off and the moon rises while you're in here... I don't want to even think about what I'd do to you. I love you too much to risk your safety just to get my dick wet."

"I've never felt unsafe around you during moon hours."

"You've never been around me during moon hours without these bars between us." At least, that's what he thought.

*

You didn't need a window to know when the full moon was beginning to make its appearance, all you needed was Jeongguk's groan of displeasure and you knew.

You straightened up from slouching against the wall playing on your phone to peer over at where Jeongguk was curled up with his arms bracketing his head. As much as you knew he wasn't in any pain during the transformation, you knew he hated every second of it. For the first few minutes, he always without fail tried to fight the change and grasped at his humanity in his mind but it never worked. His animal counterpart always rose up, taking over his mind first before too ruling his body.

The change from beginning to end never took more than five minutes; once his wolf was in charge the physical changes happened almost in a blink of an eye.

"Jungoo!" You cooed flinging the blanket off of your body to crawl over and unlock the gate. A pair of amber eyes peered at you, unfocused at first due to the change but in moments recognition set in and you had a lapful of wolf. Well, lapful is a bit generous honestly.

At any other time, Jeongguk's wolf was a fully grown majestic creature with sleek deep brown verging on black fur. But during moon hours Jeongguk's wolf was...well...a puppy. A tiny little ball of fluffy chocolate brown and you were the only one that knew about it.

"Hey puppy," Your hands rubbed over the little wriggling form on your thighs, scratching and rubbing his tiny body while he yipped and panted excitedly at the attention. "Hm, what shall we do today?" He barked at you, an almost squeak of a sound that had you cackling. If Jeongguk knew what happened to him during moon hours he would never look you in the eye again, he'd be so embarrassed of the fact his most instinctual form was a baby, an adorable little wolf pup that never left your side even to eat. Though to be honest, pretty much all of your friends knew that he loved to be babied and looked after, especially by you and would always choose you over anyone else even before you started dating. So it wouldn't surprise anyone to find out but he sure as hell would never live it down.

Just like all other full moons since the first one with Jeongguk three years ago, you spent the whole time playing and cuddling with his ickle wolfie, and moon hours are the only time that phrase isn't a euphemism- he had begged you to stop calling his dick 'ickle wolfie' multiple times but you always refused.

Before you knew it, your alarm was going off telling you that the sun was due to rise at any moment. "Better get back in there, Jungoo." You sighed wiping the pizza crumbs off of his muzzle. He looked up at you and whined sensing what was coming. "I'll miss you too, little one but we'll be able to play again together before you know it." He made vaguely distressed crying sounds the whole time you carried him into the cell and placed him gently onto the futon. He tried to clamber back into your arms but you quickly backed away after pressing a kiss to his fluffy little head. "Stay still, Guk will never let me come with him again if he wakes outside of the cell." The pup watched you back out of the cell and lock the door before he ran over to the bars and yipped at you.

Jeongguk woke like he did every sunrise after moon hours, curled up against the bars with your hand stroking through his hair. He made a sort of grunting sound signalling he was back to his normal self and earned a hair ruffle in return that had him swatting your hand away. While he reorientated himself you got up and removed the lock and chain from the door to return it to its home on the wall.

A sudden exhale left his lungs when you plopped down onto his naked lap and cuddled up to his chest.

"Did you feed me pizza again?" He questioned after figuring out what the taste lingering on his tongue was.

"Puppy loves pizza."

"You love pizza." He chuckled finally wrapping his arms around your waist to hold you tight.

"And you love me which means puppy loves me therefore by default, puppy loves pizza."

"Really wish you'd stop calling my wolf a puppy."

"The cutest puppy ever."

"Whatever you say, babe." Jeongguk laughed and pressed a kiss to your head so you straightened up instead of leaning on his shoulder.

"So, I'm still cold." You grinned mischievously while wiggling your eyebrows suggestively at him.

"You feel pretty warm to me." He teased, sliding his hands underneath the t-shirt and hoody on your torso to touch the warm skin of your waist.

"I'd like to be a lot warmer. And naked. And attached to you by our genitals." Jeongguk burst into laughter at your wording, something beyond fond and loving in his eyes as he admired your serious expression.

"You say the weirdest shit, sweetheart."

"Hm, I do but it works for you. I can feel ickle wolfie rising his head to play!" You sniggered wiggling on his lap.

"Pavlovian response to sunrise after moon hours. You've trained me to be ready for sex. You never should've taken that psychology course with Joon-hyung."

"Shut up and get me naked, wolf boy."

"Whatever you want, I live only to please you, my love!" Was his dramatic and very sarcastic response even if he was already lifting you up as he got to his knees ready to throw you onto the futon and give you exactly what you wanted.

[popculturebuffet]

Pinky and the Brain: A Pinky And the Brain Christmas Review or I Just Think Schotzie’s Neat

Christmas Continues on this blog... and getting away from one set of Christmas commissions and into another, I offered my friend Blahdiddy three commissions as a present. The other two we’ll get to eventually, but with Animaniacs on the brain, heh, due to the reboot, he selected two Pinky and the Brains and one Animaniacs for me to cover. And while I intended to cover this one sometime this month anyway, my friend’s recent and sad covid diagnosis meant i’m bumping this one all the way up to the front of the line so he has some christmas cheer during this rough time. So with that in mind let’s talk about pinky, pinky and the brain brain brain brain brain shall we? Of course we can’t really talk about pinky and the brain without talking about Animaniacs. I absolutely love the series, I grew up with it as a kid and reconnected with it as an adult when it ended up on netflix. It was smart, well animated and most importantly really fucking funny. I highly recommend checking both the original and reboot of it out some time if you have Hulu. Speaking of the reboot while I might go on in full about it at some point it’s pretty good, with some creatvie jokes, some nice updates, with Rita Anita Anrita being a great new addition to the warner side of things. It’s only real flaw is it gets a bit reptitious as for the most part there’s only really the warners and pinky and the brain with a few exceptions one of which DAMN well deserved at least two segments and we all know which one that is. 

Bring.. this.. to series. The warners and pinky and the brain segments weren’t bad, but as is inevitible in a screwball comedy some just weren’t as good as others and those fell harder when you’ve already seen 2 or 3 better versions of this sort of skit in the season. They did really find their groove towards the end and if you like both Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain, or even just one or the other, it’s worth checking out.  But enough about the reboot let’s talk about those labratory mice whose genes have been spliced. Thanks to wikipedia, I now know the duo were based on Eddie Fitzgerald and Tom Minton, who worked with Tom Rutgeter on Tiny Toon adventures, with menton being the one who came up with Narf, even saying it in one episode of Tiny Tunes. During the creation of animaniacs, Bruce Timm, yes THE Bruce Timm, sketched the two, and Ruetger added mouse ears and the rest was history. Maurice LaMarche was the one who added the Orson Welles to the character, as LaMarche saw the Orson Welles in Brain, ran with it and got the part and a long and storied career in voice acting as a result. In a nice and fitting bit of contrast, Rob Paulsen got the part.. because he was already on the show. Not to downplay Paulsen’s clear talent, I just find it hilarious. 

That’s about what I could dig up on the behind the scenes of the show. From what I can tell it was greenlit because Animaniacs was a massive it, and Pinky and the Brain was the most popular segment, so it just made sense. The show would likewise be a massive sucess with both adults and kids, and go on for three seasons and what should legally be considered a war crime. 

For those of you blissfully unaware yeah, that happened, no no one people actually LIKED from Tiny Toons was in it. And yeah if you want me to talk about it commission it otherwise not going near this one. While I do need to tackle more bad animation... I’ve successfully avoided watching an episode of this show for 22 years next wedsday, I’m not breaking the streak for free. 

But some.. things aside I remembered liking the series as a kid but just never got around to seeking it out as an adult. I had nothing against the animaniacs segments and I even still have a stuffed brain doll I got at a garage sale.. the pinky is sadly missing and persumed dead. I just wasn’t as bit into it as I was the slappy bits rewatching animaniacs and didin’t really see reason to watch the show. Watching this though made me realize I was wrong and I probably watch more of it in the future This special is damn good, i’m pleased ot review it and to revive and old childhood memory. So with all the exposition out of the way let’s talk Pinky, PInky and the brain brain brain brain christmas edition after the cut. 

This was indeed a special: while it was presumably produced with season one of the show and is packaged with it both on DVD and on Hulu, where I watched it, the special was aired in prime time and even put on it’s own VHS.. which I found out and of course, like with my review of the Darkwing Duck Pilot, had to use as the art for old VHS’ tapes for cartoons.. was really fucking beautiful and it’s a nice break from my traditional screencaps.   So we open with a clever Christmas rendition of the theme, frequently sprinkling in bits of other christmas stuff, utterly fantastic. The intro animation is less impressive as it’s literally just the regular intro but with a stock snow effect over everything. In case you thought Ducktales doing that was a new thing. I do not blame the team however, as apparently they only had a week to get the scripts out, so I highly doubt warner was forking out more cash for the animation than they had to. They still forked out enough to make it LOOK really good mind you, something I wish they’d do more often with their DTV Movies but do do with their animated shows still with certain exceptions so good on them, i’m just saying they clearly cared more about money than having a memorable christmas opening. Given a budget to actually make one, i’m sure the animators would’ve come up with something lovely, and i’m sure the same is true of Ducktales and other shows and like i’ve said, i’m highly in favor of shows actuallly doing unique openings for the holidays, especially since Holiday episodes tend to get reaired every year as long as the show is in circulation on the network. Sometimes even if it isn’t. So it’s fully worth the effort to fork out a little extra for this as while you’ll most likely only use it once, you’ll be using the special for years. You can afford to treat yourself networks come on. It’s...

Just like Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain. But onto the episode itself after 80 years. We find Pinky writing his Christmas list to santa, complete with Narf, a gag I like. As usual for a comedy show, I will try to gloss over as much of the gags as possible, to avoid repetttion but yeah this episode is really damn funny and reminded me just how good these characters are. Maurice and Rob just have perfect chemistry. It’s like Tom and Jerry: It’s a very simple premise, that one being “Cat chases mouse and Mouse beats shit out of mouse”, and pinky and the brain of course being “Super genuis mouse and dimwitted but loveable sidekick try and takeover the world eveyr night”. But a simple premise can be used just about anywhere and adapated for anything. To me a cartoon’s premise only has to be as complicated as it needs to be to work. Sometimes you have a vast complex tapestry behind the world like She Ra, Steven Universe or Avatar with lots of planning and ins and outs and deep character stuff.. and sometimes you just have two mice who get into shenanigans because one is a would be dictator who sounds like orson welles and the other’s a loveable british weirdo/moron. Sometimes simple just works. 

Anyways, Brain, noticing Pinky’s distracted and replaces himself with a horrifying poorly made doll of himself called Noodle Noggin, which is both an excellent name and not the only time they’d use the name either, as there was an animaniacs short about Brain making himself a fad to endear himself to the children of the future with the same name. It’s just an inherently funny set of words, but also shows Brain’s genius in a subtle and clever way as he never spells it out, but despite sounding kind of ridiculous for such a buttoned up intellectual like brain... he knows that’s the kind of name kids will eat up. His schemes may often fail, but he’s an objectively brilliant schemer and i’ts often either PInky’s incompetence or his own miscalculation of humanity, either over or underestimating them, that undoes Brain.  Back to the plot, so Brain’s plan is to distribute noodle noggins around the world, make it the hot new toy, and as always, take over the world. Problem is naturally two Mice simply don’t have the resources to make the billions of dolls. But PInky stumbles upon the solution in the paper: a want ad for elves! Everything about that sentence except “pinky stumbles upon the solution” has not aged paticuarlly well, but point is they have a plan and we have our christmas special.  This does bring me to my one problem with the special.. Brain’s weird inconsistency towards Santa. What I mean is he spends the portion doubting Santa can do anything he’s claimed to despite being proven frequently he can. That part is not all that annoying as it’s in character with him and while yes, he is a talking mouse, he’s also a man of science and reason and Santa is the opposite of that. That would be fine... IF it wasn’t for the fact that said magical bollocks weren’t constantly part of his plans. Despite Brain constantly throughought the special doubting Santa... his plans FREQUENTLY rely on everything we’ve heard about him being right. His initial plan here ENTIRELY runs on the fact Santa has a massive workforce to make the toys yet even if that’s true by Brain’s own logic, he wouldn’t be able to deliver them. Later when the boys need to escape, They hide with the Reindeer despite Brain just saying santa can’t be everywhere in one night.. which if he can’t then the odds are slim he’ll wind up at Acme Labs isn’t it? It would be fine if the special acknowledged any of this outside of one bit we’ll get to, but other than that one bit.. they don’t. IT’s just really frustrating and really sticks out since the rest of the special is perfection, so this one failing bit really grates. That being said, it dosen’t last long enough to really drag the episode down as a whole, just to annoy me a bit every so often. It speaks to the episodes quality that the bad part ONLY drags so much because everything else is so well put together.  So our boys head to the north pole with the help of a kooky pilot and a santa dummy, this pilot is voiced by Tress MacNeile and is easily one of the best parts of the special. And naturally given their luck, she asks them to take the wheel so the plane instead jerks and causes them to fall out. Luckily they end up near Santa’s workshop and soon apply for temp work with local head of things and gruff type Shotzie, played by Jeff Bennett. And yes that is his name.  I like Shotzie: he’s a goateed elf and Bennett just plays him well.. hard to explain honestly I may just like his name and Bennett’s voice for him, one he used before in animanaics for various bit parts and in shows after this, it’s just a voice i’ve always liked. 

They get put to work in the mail room, which is the bit I mentioned: Brain earlier scoffed at Santa answering all the letters with Pinky simply suggesting that Santa had his elves go through all of them. Turns out Pinky was right... while he may be a BIT stupid, one intresting thing i’ve found about Pinky after watching the reboot that ironically the friend who comissioned this and I discussed is that he’s not ENTIRELY stupid, it’s just , much like Dan from Dan Vs his knowledge is just random.. he can not know how a lot of things work, but sometimes like in this instance Pinky generally just GETS something. It’s part of why he and Brain are such a good team despite their failures: Brain is all about planning and thought and research, Pinky is about intuition and gut instinct. He just does things and it often works out. This also makes their recently added backstories all the more brilliant as they explain this well: Pinky started life just being told to find the diffrence in cheeses and thus was taught form childhood to trust in himself and his weird brain. Brain was cruelly torturued with an experiment on learned behaviors via electroshock, and was taught to never give up control again, to always know what’s going on and to always control it. It perfectly sums up who the two are and why they are that way.  Brain however quickly pivots, as the mail room ends up being the perfect location to start his plans. Since their job is to file away what each person wants Brain simply adds Noodle Noggin to it and plans to put his plans into the workshop. While Santa and Schotzie are suprised and baffled, Santa quickly adds it to the list. However things hit a snag when Schotzie gets supscious when the two try to sneak into the blueprint room to drop theirs off and he accidently yanks off their disguises leading to a REALLY fun chase scene, as the boys end up in a toy wherehouse and thus try out various toy cars: a barbie dream car that dosen’t have a working motor, a toy truck that dosen’t go very fast, and finally an rc car that while fast naturally just means Schotzie can grab it and capture them. It’s easily my faviorite scene of the episode just for how clever it is and as someone whow as a kid around the time this came out, I applaud the accuracy.. granted I didn’t have any of those personally but I had lots of friends so yeah. 

So our heroes are interrogated.. and again Brain brilliantly pivots. Schotzie assumes since they have the blueprints their spies for the easter bunny or the tooth fairy or Herschel, the Hanukah Goblin. Why Herschel never got his own Hannukah special trying to stop Pinky and the Brain from using it to take over the world, I genuinely do not know and that’s something the reboot really needs to adress in the future. Seriously Hannukah needs a mascot and it’s either Herschel or the Hannukah Zombie. Kwanza already has Kwanzabot. I want to see more of Herschel the Hannukah Goblin dammit!. I love goblins. Especially this one.

And this one

And most of all this one

I likes goblins. It’s a thing. So anyway, point is Schotize has the blueprints taken in while our boys slip out and sucessfully make their way outside, though they have to find a way home to turn on the mind control device. They see Santa and brain being a dick refuses to let pinky hand in his letter.. but does as mentioned earlier have them pose as reindeer.  So our heroes make their way home and in time to be able to activate the device once santa’s route’s finished!

And.. then land directly on the mind control device thing, meaning they now have to scramble to repair it. Oh and Pinky is inconsolable after realizing Santa didn’t get his letter and Brain is a HUGE dick about it. Easily the worst i’ve seen him just far more focused on his machine than his friend’s wel lbeing especially since ALL he needs from pinky is for him to throw one lousy switch. 

But we then get easily the best part of the entire special. As Brain scrambles to rebuild his device while abusing his best friend we get a really nice tense sequence as Brain rebuilds while kids all over the world warmly receive noodle noggin. I mean.. it’s not the creepiest doll I’ve seen a kid enjoy. 

Also Bill Clinton gets one because the series apparently really likes “Bill Clinton is stupid jokes” Oh you poor innocent dears who haven’t had to suffer through the president being revealed to be a sexual predator, the one after him being even dumber if not a predator, the one after that being easily one of the best people around, and the outgoing one being a waking nightmare whose both a preadator and dumb beyond all comprehension ina dangerous and soul crushing way. 

But yeah onto the good part, Brain, for whatever reason, reads the letter.. and finds Pinky asked for nothing. He just wanted to give Brain the world at long last, recognizing his friend really and genuinely means well for it and that he’s worked hard to conquer it. And with that goal in reach, with the very thing he’s always wanted his... Brain instead uses the device to wish a merry christmas. He sees through his friend’s kindess and selflessness that he himself.. has been selfish once again turning something into a world destroying plot and being cruel to his best friend... when all his best friend wanted was to selflessly make sure he finally got what he wanted. It’s then that Brain, for all his cold and cynical logic and superiority complex, realized the true meaning of christmas, which i’ve said before and i’ll say again: it’s about giving, about giving someone something with your heart and soul just to be nice with no expectation of something in return. It’s about being selfless for once instead of selfish. I’ts about love. And Brain loves his friend too much to destroy his faviorite holiday. For once the world can wait.. and for once they all join in saying merry christmas to one another and in love and camradire. And I know not everyone celebrates christmas, there are other winter holidays and not everyone in the world would willingly do this. I know all that.. but the special has such a well meaning message, I really can’t be mad at that or get into the weeds too much> This isn’t some jackass making an entire movie, of which there have been several, saying “There’s a war on christmas” which instead equates to them just bitching about not everyone celebrating HIS holiday. It’s about a mouse for one moment truly being selfless and putting ihs loyal and faithful friend over his greatest want to give him a nice christmas and to do something nice for the world instead of trying to take it. And that.. that’s really damn heartmelting.  So we end on the two exchanging presents, with it being a little extra heartwarming as Brain likely already got Pinky something meaning even before his big revelation, he really does care beneath all the dope slaps. Pinky got him a keychain of the world and rather than be frustrated like you’d think.. Brain just takes it in stride. It is christmas after all.. the world.. it can wait. For now it’s just the two of them having one moment in time, this merry christmas.  Final Thoughts: If it wasn’t obvious, I loved this freaking special. It’s funny, clever and has one hell of an ending. There isn’t much more to say other than go watch it if you have Hulu.. you will not regret it and a sepcial thanks to Blah for comissioning this. it was an amazing time and is now a competitor for a spot on my best christmas special list. For now though it’s just really good and I say go check it out. Merry christmas, happy holidays and later days. 

[lamortexiii]

Cryptic Mystic: In the End

To bounce off of the previous blog posting, I thought it would be fun to just hop right on into the topic of what happens after we die. After all, we just finished talking about souls and a bit of astral projection last time. From transcending to another place/dimension to reincarnation, there truly is a lot to cover when you start diving into the many beliefs and ideas that surround death and mortality/immortality. But what differentiates the scientific facts from myths and stories of olden days? For those who believe in one defined means to an end for us all, how do you know for a fact that what you believe is true? Have you ever questioned what is life after death? Hell, is there a life after death? Or maybe… it’s something else… something so obscure that our tiny human brains are nowhere near possessing the capabilities to understand it. In the end, readers can decide for themselves what is more likely to be true, or maybe… the answer to this cryptic question has been right in front of us all along? Maybe it is a combination of what we know but do not yet understand. Let’s talk shop, shall we?

Death. Happy for some, a time of joy and celebration for others, but likely a time of sadness and grief for most. Some welcome death with open arms, while yet others fear their mortality. The numerous speculations on what happens after we die is overwhelming. There are far too many ideas and beliefs that people hold in this regard. I’ll briefly cover a few of the more popular beliefs as to not make this blog super lengthy - because, ya know, your attention span and whatnot. 

Scientifically, there are two types of death: clinical death and brain death. Clinical death is characterized by major organ failure (e.g. heart, liver, kidneys, etc.) until the body is completely rendered of functioning and the individual is officially pronounced dead. In brain death, solely the brain stops functioning, but the other organs within the body continue to work within their normal capacities. Creepy fun fact for you: the heart can beat for up to 30 minutes on its own after all brain cells have died. Once the heart stops it’s adios amigo. The remaining major organs that were barely hanging on have now lost blood flow, and life has ended. More creepy death fun facts: the gastrointestinal tract can live on its own for up to 3 days, and the complete decomposition of a body takes roughly 30 years! Crazy science stuff. 

Now let’s take a look at some common beliefs and speculations of what happens when/after we die. Again, I want to remind you, readers, that in my eyes there is no right or wrong answer here. I am a firm believer in everyone having their own beliefs and respect all of them regardless of how obscure some naysayers may think that they are. I enjoy hearing stories from followers that help to further broaden my thought processes. If you ever have an interesting story or want to chime in with your thoughts please feel free to leave a comment here or shoot on over to Instagram and we can rap about it. 

The belief that we transcend to another realm/dimension has been around for thousands of years and has been studied for decades. There is a lot to uncover here between recent scientific discoveries and human belief. Many people believe that many other dimensions exist, however, scientific exploration hasn’t fully found the golden answer to if and what these other dimensions may contain if they do indeed exist. We know that Earth has at least three dimensions: space—length, width, and depth—and one dimension of time. Modern physics posits that there is at least a fourth dimension of space, but that we can’t experience it. Maybe we can? Maybe we do but just haven’t put a label on it? Maybe the odd phenomena that happen across the world that people describe as being ghosts, aliens, and other paranormal activities are actually from the next dimension or another. There has been speculation that extraterrestrials come from another dimension through a portal that is already here on Earth rather than from the sky (outer space). 

Give me an R! Give me an E! Hell, this word is too long and I’m not going to put you through reading a silly cheer for 5 minutes. Reincarnation - yet another commonly held belief of what happens when we die. For those of you who may have never heard of reincarnation, here is the quick and dirty version of the definition. Reincarnation posits that when we die our spirit/soul/whatever you want to call it, moves on to a new host. This host could be a human baby that is born the very second that you die OR you could possibly find yourself reincarnated as an animal, tree, flower, or any other living thing that you can find on Earth. Interesting concept indeed.

My favorite belief, that we go to Heaven or somewhere similar, is one that is believed by millions of people across the world. Wouldn’t it be nice to die and go to another world/place where nothing can do you harm, and just live out the rest of your existence in peace? Well, if you can believe it then it may just happen that way - or maybe not. I am fairly certain I have mentioned this in previous blogs, but religion can be thought of as a coping mechanism for that which we do not know or understand; the human way of putting a label on something to make ourselves feel better or like we are a part of something divine and much greater than us. Which, in all actuality, we very well may be a part of something divine and much greater than us, however, it is my personal opinion that we honestly have no fucking clue about the extent to which that is. 

Now, this next one I threw in here because I personally found it to be interesting. In 2017 I was having a conversation with a friend about mystical things such as portals, extraterrestrials, etc. My friend informed me of a research video on YouTube about a company called CERN. He described this Swiss company as having built a circular-shaped machine that when you throw something into its core it disappears. However, other items have come through this machine and into the room from… wherever the other side is? Basically, these people have created a portal and no one knows about it. You’re welcome for the information. Within this research video, the guy who was describing all of this stuff went on to talk about how China had gifted the statue that sits in front of the CERN building. This particular statue is reported to represent the end of time and hell on Earth. There is a whole mythical background story about this statue - you need to check it out. The irony between the statue and this machine they made is uncanny. It made my jaw drop. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I haven’t been able to find the YouTube video again, so I am not sure if it got taken down because the guy exposed something that was supposed to be secret, or maybe I just suck at YouTube searches. Either way, I encourage you to do some digging on this one, because this type of information could potentially support the whole soul/spirit transcending into another realm/dimension belief. I am not a physicist, so I could be explaining this all wrong. You’ll just have to check out their website for yourself and see what it’s all about. → home.cern

There is also the belief that when we die nothing happens. We are dead and it is the end of who we once were. This belief is often held by Atheists and some Satanists if we’re using labels. However, many people believe this who aren’t subscribed to a religion or don’t want to necessarily put a label on who they are/what they believe. This is the grim reality of our existence. Maybe it all means… nothing… Now isn’t that depressing. 

Then there are near-death experiences, which brings a whole different perspective into the mix. People all over the world have encountered near-death experiences. Many report shockingly similar experiences and stories. Some say they see a white light and follow it to a place of peace. I have heard people say that while they were legally deceased they found themself in a field of flowers or floating within the cosmos. A common theme found within these individuals is that once they have had their near-death experience, they aren’t afraid of death anymore - they welcome it with open arms. One woman on a documentary that I watched even went as far as to say that she didn’t want to come back from where she was and was disappointed when she was revived. These experiences could possibly support the theory of transcending to other dimensions or that there is a “heaven.” I can’t explain it, but I still find the information interesting to ponder upon. 

Our mortality is evident, but what really happens when we die? These are just a short collection of ideas and beliefs that have been around for ages, however, there are many more to consider I’m sure. What do you think? Or should I say: what do you want to believe? Ultimately it’s your choice. Whatever brings you peace, serves you well, and is the right answer for you is what I advise you to turn to. This flesh and blood will decay for each of us one day - it’s inevitable. It is for this very reason why I say live life to the fullest. Regret nothing. Do what best serves you. Do what makes you happy. Take chances. Above all else - be the best version of yourself that makes you happy.

Cryptic Mystic Blog by PsychVVitch

www.LaMorteXiii.com

[just-the-mage]

Review-Love Death + Robots (Pt 1. Episodes 1-4)

So here we are again.  You, dear readers, and I, a mostly defunct tumblr page.  I was thinking...I’ve written a few reviews on here before, and I’ve rather enjoyed myself to be honest.  So until RP starts up again for me, I’m going to grab some popcorn and start reviewing some of the media I’ve been indulging in during this exceptionally fun pandemic we’ve all been saddled with (and are becoming increasingly more and more used to as time goes on).  Here we go! 

Spoilers incoming! I don’t like to discuss a show without going through it entirely-no stone unturned.  You have been warned! 

Love Death + Robots is a compilation series-each episode is self-contained content, based on what I have experienced thus far.  The content varies wildly from cute and sweet to surreal, to horrific.  For right now I’m going to stick with the first four episodes since they are fresh in my mind.  

Episode 1: Three Robots

Three robots shows a short adventure shared by, you guessed it-Three robots exploring the crumbling remains of human society.  It comes across as three tourists making their way through an area that they are completely unfamiliar with, attempting to define and understand elements of the environment as humans once did.  Their analysis and attempts to understand not only human culture, but also basic human biology, were entertaining to say the least.  Each robot has flair, character, and a their own take on humans and humanity.  Over the course of the episode, the fall of mankind is referenced a few times, being initially explained as a mass extinction due to environmental disasters (global warming is probably a factor-one of the buildings has an entire ship sticking out of it).  However, the twist ending throws that whole theory into question once the cat that has been accompanying the robots for the last leg of their journey reveals itself as capable of speech.  And, interestingly enough...being in possession of opposable thumbs.  It was certainly unexpected, and a bit odd-the cat (and its many, many brethren) manage to finish out the episode by convincing the robots that if the robots do not pet them, the cats may explode.  I will say that the ending, though it was rather silly and fitting with the tone, felt like an out of place twist intended mostly to give a bit of closure to a story that had no real need to have an ending.  It felt a little out-of-left field, at least to me.

This first episode, I think, is one that I could recommend to a much more general audience than almost all of the other content of the show.  It’s whimsical and cute, despite inhabiting such a grim setting (and grim it is-post apocalyptic is not taken lightly here.  There are plenty of corpses, some skeletal and some not quite so much.  At least one of them appears to have died by suicide).  I found it to be a nice addition and a good introduction to ease people into the tone of the show.  Definitely give this one a watch, even if the ending sort of comes from nowhere. 

Episode 2: Beyond the Aquila Rift

This episode was definitely a change of pace from the first.  It begins as a high science fiction story starring a hunky, middle aged man and his two crewmates, making some sort of cargo run (?) through a wormhole of some kind, but promptly finding themselves in a completely different place from what they expected.  Hunky space captain wakes up first, finding that he is greeted by an old friend (read: lover) of his, who explains that there was a navigation error that led them off course-way off course.  They’re in a completely different area than they expected.  The ship’s navigator wakes as well, swearing that there couldn’t have been an error in her calculations, but seems ill and is placed back in her future tech cryopod to rest.  Space captain man then bangs it out with his ex-lover (Greta) in a scene that was almost definitely written by a man, and she reveals to him that she lied, and that him and his crew are actually hundreds of light-years further off course than they had thought they were, basically dashing any hopes that he could have of returning to his old life.  The two then wake the navigator again, who immediately starts ranting that ‘Greta’ isn’t who she says she is.  At this point, enough clues have been given that the captain catches up with the audience (it was all a simulation the whole time), and he confronts Greta, demanding that she reveal herself as she truly is.  She does, after some prodding-and the captain finds himself in an infested husk of a ship, aged and haggard, obviously dying of starvation.  Greta reveals herself as a lovely spider-beast, and the captain wakes up from his pod again-back in his comfortable illusion once more.  

I love the premise of this one.  Crazy aliens and shit like this is a huge draw for me-sci-fi horror is probably my favorite subgenre of horror when it’s done well.  I would count this episode as doing it pretty well.  They don’t go into much techno-babble, which I think is a pitfall for some sci-fi stories.  The writers are well aware that we aren’t spending too long in this world, so we don’t need to know much about the rules under which it operates outside of ‘computer mistake your ship fly here.’  The twist ending didn’t end up being too much of a twist-in my opinion there were too many clues given throughout the episode to make it that much of a surprise that things weren’t as they seemed.  The odds of this man meeting his ex-lover in the infinitesimal reaches of space just by chance were a bit too impossible to make it believable-and the navigator was far too convinced that her work couldn’t be incorrect.  In the end, it was an expected twist, but still pretty jarring.  Execution is pretty good overall though-and the sex scene is pretty decent as well, even if its strictly a dude-fantasy thing.  Also, call me a sucker for cool looking beasties, but I adore the design on spider-Greta.  That’s a lady right there for you.  

Episode 3: Ice Age

The only live action episode I’ve seen so far-this one gives an *entirely* different tone than the majority of the other episodes in the series.  Topher Grace and Mary Elizabeth Winstead happen upon a lost civilization that exists entirely within their refrigerator.  They watch in awe as it develops incredibly quickly-hundreds of years passing within the civilization in roughly an hour or so of real time.  What starts in the morning as a town in the viking ages eventually develops into a modern society, almost destroys itself with nukes, and then rebuilds from the ashes into a fully futuristic society that quickly ascends beyond physical form, appearing to disperse itself into the cosmos, no longer bound by such petty rules as the laws of physics.  A disappointed Topher asks if they’ll return-to which he receives a sad ‘no’ from his partner.  It seems all is lost, and the couple go to bed for the night-only to find that the cycle has restarted overnight, and they probably won’t be able to keep any frozen chicken in the freezer for quite some time.

This one is probably one of my favorites of the series so far.  It’s fairly well acted, but the real beauty of the episode is getting to watch the mini-civilization develop itself in a glorious time lapse-the work that must’ve gone into it must have been monumental, to be honest.  The final product certainly felt that way, in any case.  What I also found fascinating was a specific scene in which the protagonists were abandoned in place of some of the tiny denizens of the lost civilization-which made me realize exactly how slow the ‘normal sized people’s’ actions must have looked to the diminutive people of this rapidly developing society.  Reminiscent of the earth’s motion in relation to our own perception-and reinforcing the concept that to an individual, perception is everything. 

Episode 4:  Sonnie’s Edge 

This episode opens with three people transporting mysterious cargo into a heavily guarded complex, quickly encountering and interacting with a ‘bigwig’ of sorts with a beautiful woman on his arm.  Through context clues the audience is easily able to discover that the three (pictured above) are here for a fight-and that their cargo is their fighter, a living creature of obviously immense proportion.  The bigwig asks the team to throw the fight, and they refuse, even after he offers a large amount of money.  (It’s worth mentioning that during this scene, ‘Sonnie’, the leader and controller of the beast fighter, shares an EXTREMELY homosexual gaze with the bigwig’s beautiful lady friend.  Don’t think I didn’t notice the setup, because I definitely noticed the payoff, even though it was rudely interrupted).  Sonnie and her teammates enter the ring, setting up as it appears that she will be piloting her fighter in some way.  Her opponent is also introduced, though he is hardly important in the story-imagine a cake of beef with a big sticker on him that says ‘mysogyny’ in bold print.  What follows is one of the most brutal fight scenes I’ve seen in animation (this is just my personal opinion though).  These creatures fucking tear each other to shreds, with Sonnie’s beast only just barely emerging as the victor, tearing the opposing fighter’s head clean from its body.  The bigwig is obviously angry, as is Sonnie’s opponent, and Sonnie and her team retires to a hotel room of sorts, with the exception of Sonnie-who slips away into the room that houses her fighter, promptly encountering the beauty from earlier! (Payoff time)..and it gets gay.  Fast.  I love me some wlw content, and there’s some nice tension here, right up until the beauty stabs Sonnie through the head.  Rude.  The bigwig reveals himself, which was a bit of a surprise-the part of me that hadn’t seen much of this show yet was hoping for a fluffy little happy ending.  It wasn’t to be though..after the beauty crushes Sonnie’s skull, the two promptly realize that ‘Sonnie’ wasn’t Sonnie at all-just some biotech.  The *real* Sonnie...was the fighter, the whole time.  Who promptly makes short work of both the beauty and the bigwig, (implied), in what I can only describe as the most satisfying moment in the series that I’ve seen thus far.  

This was easily my favorite episode of the show, and has continued to be, and I assume will continue to be my favorite through the rest of the series.  It’s not just because of the lesbian rep (my people!), or the misogynists getting fucking destroyed, but the strength of the reveal, the choreography of the fight scene, and the *power* of the protagonist.  I love her.  I love her sooo much.  We are seamlessly introduced into the world, shown a woman who has been beaten, scarred, faced sexual abuse, and she remade herself into a being of pure power.  She fought back, and *look how she fights back*.  I cannot describe just how much of a cheer-worthy moment it was to watch the smug smile be summarily wiped from the face of the bigwig.  I *love* seeing a villain who has full confidence in their victory suddenly realize that they don’t have the upper hand anymore...and that they are, in fact, absolutely screwed.  This was one of those wonderful, wonderful moments, and I can think of nobody more deserving than this villain of being torn to shreds.  This was an A+ episode for sure-100% recommend this one for anyone who can handle a bit of gore.  

Thank you so much for reading!  This is only part 1...more to come!        

[natasharomanoffismywife]

I Never Forgot You- Chapter 6 (Natasha x Y/n)

Tag List: @natasha-danvers @lesbian-x-blackwidow @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @summergeezburr @disneykid125 @nowthisisliving27 @subject7creed @sighsam

Word Count: 1,099

Natasha POV

We drive around for a while aimlessly until we decide to drive to Romania, Y/n mentioning that she had a safe house she had previously used a few years ago. We drive in silence, using the silence to process everything that has just happened, I was with the Red Room since I was 7 years old the place was all I knew. They had been the only family I had known, those family had now turned on me leaving me fully alone.

“Why haven’t you killed me yet?” Y/n asks me, effectively pulling me from my thoughts. I turn to the woman who is driving, first time taking in the girl. I can see the faded scar that lays across her cheek, small, think jagged white scar highlighting her past injuries.

“You were my mission, now they are killing me I guess I don’t take orders from them anymore.” I shrug, she nods before looking at me quickly before returning her gaze to the road.

I put my feet up on the dashboard as I let myself relax into to leather seat, to be honest I’m not sure why I didn’t kill her the first day I encountered her. All my other targets had been eliminated before they could even say hello to me but not Y/n, as soon as I made contact with her something intrigued me, something drew me to her.

“Well I’m flattered that you haven’t shot me in the face yet” Y/n says sarcastically making me roll my eyes at her, she has already become a major pain in my ass and we’ve only been together for the past 3 hours.

“You piss me off I’ll make sure to do just that” I reply back with a innocent smile, making Y/n let out a small chuckle. We stay in silence for the duration of the trip, we arrive at our destination 5 hours later pulling up to a small tiny rundown building at the dead of night.

We silently make our way into the dark house, locking us away from the outside world. I go straight to the kitchen in search of food, groaning as my search brings me zero results. Y/n walks into the kitchen shaking her head at me as she goes up to the fuse box in the corner of the room.

“This place hasn’t been used for years, of course there isn’t any food here you dumbass” She snarks at me making me walk up to her and punching her shoulder hard, smirking when she hisses.

“Remember what I said in the car L/n, I will shoot you between the eyes if you piss me off” I remind her before walking into the living room, slouching down onto the hard sofa. I close my eyes for a moment before I am rudely interrupted by Y/n throwing a cereal bar at my head, I open my eyes glaring at the shield agent only getting a wink in return.

“Eat up Widow, I can’t have you passing out on me” She jokes out, I start to eat the bar, cringing at the staleness of it wondering if she had found the bar hidden away in one of the dusty cupboards.

“I’ve gone through torture and hunger and not died, I’m afraid you can’t get rid of me that easily L/n” I smugly state, Y/n sends me a fake grin as she pushes me over so she too can sit down on the sofa.

“Well that’s a relief, how ever will I cope without you here to annoy me Romanoff” Y/n dramatically says making me punch her shoulder again, the girl rubbing the sore spot as she makes sure she puts a comfortable distance between us.

“I need to inform my supervisors, they need to be alert in case we have a rat” Y/n says softly, I don’t reply knowing it wasn’t aimed at me, it was just the girl thinking out loud.

“Do it tomorrow, I need to sleep and I don’t want your loud mouth keeping me awake” I say into the room, standing up and walking into the bedroom to only find one double bed. Y/n pushes past me making sure to hit into my shoulder, she walks to the bed and falls hard onto the mattress.

“Why are you just standing there? I thought you wanted to sleep?” The girl asks me, I stay stood there with my arms crossed, raising an eyebrow at the question.

“Where am I supposed to sleep genius?” I spit out at her, she looks at me like I am an idiot before rolling over to the left side of the bed.

“In the bed with me dumbass, don’t worry I don’t bite” She winks out with jest, I walk towards her taking off my shoes before laying down in the space next to her.

“Yeah well I might” I sass back, rolling over on my side so my back was to the annoying woman. I let my eyes close trying to let the silence lull me to sleep, I hear small rustling coming from my left side making me slowly turn to look at what the source of the noise was.

I turned around to find Y/n fishing in her jean pocket pulling out what looks to be a photograph, I stay silent and still as I observe the calm and collected girl gaze at the photo in her hand, watch as she presses a kiss to the item. Y/n then puts the photo back into her pocket before she rolls over to face the wall, the soft snores emitting from her form indicating that she had passed out.

I turn back around onto my side trying to shut my mind off, wondering what was so important about that photograph to make the agent kiss it. I suppose that might be a normal, humane thing to do before sleeping, I have no idea since I’ve been sleeping with handcuffs on my wrist for as long as I can remember.

Tonight was the first night I have not used the metal cuffs to sleep, having not brought them with me taking the choice from me. I close my eyes tight trying to ignore the voice inside my head screaming at me to kill the girl next to me, with the voice quietening down I manage to drift off in a light slumber ready to face the next day.

Let me know how you like it so far! Also let me know what would be cool plot points to see in this story, I always enjoy seeing what you guys come up with! :)

[ourladytamara]

Contraband (3.1k words)

Tamara  3/23/2021 - @_ourladytamara

cw’s: CNC, vomit, throatfucking, betrayal, systemic/state violence, demons, gross alien horsecock, guns (but no live rounds)

With trembling motions you shuffle to the front of your apartment and lean against the door, draped in the moonlight seeping in from the single, prison-like window behind you. You’d woken up mere minutes ago to the unmistakably stomach-churning clack of Demonic heels marching up your domicile block’s central stairway, and already the fear’s driven you to sweat. Blocks like these were explicitly human-only, servicing the slaves in the surrounding ammunition plants; Demonic hooves never graced the overcrowded slum without very compelling reasons.

Unfortunately for you, they clearly had one. Their steps were audibly burdened, heavier than the freakish things usually sounded as they marched over the shoddy linoleum flooring. A glance back at the clock read 2:30 AM – you had work in three and a half hours. Nausea struck like a knife. It cut deep and quick into your stomach as you pulled back from the doorway – just in time to jump against the body of your roommate, Ninety-Seven.

That wasn’t actually her name, of course, just like yours wasn’t actually Twenty-Two; it was easier to say than your full designations of 117-654-882-28-97 and 009-655-119-18-22, respectively. Unlike you, though, Ninety-Seven refused to tell you her actual, human name, adamant on her designation. She always weirded you out, obviously still doing so after waking up in the dead of night. Still, she told you she’d been here for years longer, and you chalked her high strangeness to the insurmountable trauma certainly weighing on her young mind.

“Why are you awake, Twenty-Two? It’s just some commotion, isn’t it?” she asked, only the slightest twinge of sleep in her words.

“Ninety, are you fuckin’ for real? Listen.” you hiss, gesturing for her to approach. For a moment she seems to hesitate, fixated on your hand. She shakes her head and comes closer, pressing her ear to the door as you’d been seconds earlier while you hold her shoulder. She cocks her eyes, turning to a scowl; you can hear the Demonic footsteps even standing, now.

“I… okay? What’s the problem?” she replies, almost… befuddled by something. You don’t understand.

“Do you not hear the literal Demons goose-stepping up our stairwell? Why the fuck would they be coming in here so -”

Before you can even finish speaking the alarms begin to blare. You’d lived here a year without even hearing them, and the instant they begin your mind starts to panic. It’s nothing like a human warning signal – it’s essentially a mechanical caterwaul, like the dying yell of someone caught in a machine and ground into paste. Every second it throbs against your skull.

“- early.”

Ninety-Seven looks up at you and widens her eyes, as if elated. The noise blocks your ability to yell at her, every word from your lips now totally drowned beneath the din. You gesticulate, pleading physically where your verbal ones had fallen short.

Without another word she opens her mouth and speaks in tune to the Demonic voice now echoing off every surface.

“BADH AN MARAB QA-ALADAV. YA DAEKAVA MA KADAR FA MAKH.

You cover your ears in pain and lean back against the wall, totally overwhelmed by the panic, noise, and exhaustion. Without thinking you dart away from the door, rushing to the pile of loose blankets and pillows allotted as “furniture” by your Demonic overlords. Ninety-Seven cocks her head and tracks you as you move, still repeating the announcement by heart as it begins to loop in English.

“A CONTRABAND SEARCH IS UNDERWAY.” it, and by extension Ninety-Seven, booms. “COOPERATION WITH ONSITE JUDGES WILL BE REWARDED.”

For a minute longer the Hellish alarm wails before its steel throat closes up – only to reveal just how loud the Demonic footfalls outside have truly grown. Each sounds only a single room away.

You shoot a look at Ninety-Seven, a mix of anger and ringing pain.

“You’ve been through this before?” you ask, darting from the pile of pillows you’d buried your head in for safety towards the girl.

“Of course – they used to be a lot more regular.” she replies, rubbing her legs together. “It was a lot more exciting back then, I think.”

Now beside her, you grab her by the shoulder as to speak more quietly. Knocking – on the door beside yours! It snaps you out of the conversation and draws your eyes inextricably to your own apartment’s flimsy defenses. Ninety-Seven stood between it and you, now glaring at you.

“Twenty-Two, I feel like you’re being overly hesitant.”

“ADDAKH!” comes the scream of a Demon in the hallway. “MAR VAL YGDASH.”

Seconds later, a kick, a thud – screaming and heavy footfalls. A gunshot – the screams grow louder, turning to a howl that chills you to the bone.

“O-Overly hesitant? Hello?” you nearly scream-whisper, attention divided. Something wasn’t adding up. “I’m being overly hesitant because,” you lean in, “there are fucking armed Demons outside our door? N-Ninety, are you fully awake?”

“I’m much more than fully awake, Twenty-Two – I just think this level of recalcitrance towards our Owners is undue.”

Every hair on your neck stood on end. Few things bothered you worse than hearing another human say that word, call them that name – and now it was coming from the only one you thought you’d be able to trust in the nightmare you now knew as life. Nausea reared its ugly head through the swamp of anxiety now living inside you. Next door, the Judges finished their grim duty; their hooves clacked along the red linoleum in the hallway once again.

“W-We have to… o-oh, my God, we have to do SOMETHING, I -” you mumble. This really sets her off.

“No. I’ve heard enough – you’re just like the other ones, aren’t you?” she mutters in reply, pulling away from you and shaking her head. “Just like the ones on level 29, right?”

You blink. You… you knew a couple on level 29. They were odd, definitely unlike you – clearly victims of Hell’s penchant for population shuffling, from Iran or something, you were never sure – but one of the only other friendly faces in the basalt-and-tallow sarcophagus you were forced to call home. During your fifteen minutes of allowed recreation you’d visited them a few days ago.

Something sinks like a rock in your stomach.

“N-Ninety-sev-”

“Is religious literature permitted material, Twenty-Two? Is it?”she barks, far louder than you would’ve dreamed of being knowing who was standing just outside your thin walls. This draws the attention of the Judges, clearly; the footsteps quiet as they whisper among themselves for some time.

They’d shown you their copy of the Quran, hastily handwritten into a falling-apart notepad – their one belonging save what Hell gave them.

A knock on your door. You can’t move, you can’t think – tears well up in your eyes.

“ADDA-” begins the Demon, but her shout is interrupted as Ninety-Seven opens the door.

“Oh, good! You came quickly – I’m glad the report made it in time.”

In your door stood a hulking Demon. She was clad entirely in some kind of black metal and blacker robes, flesh almost entirely concealed. A dim red glow emanated from the lenses of her metallic facemask; you could see muscles rippling beneath the thinner parts of her robe, flexing with each subtle motion.

“Huh?” she replies, regarding the girl for a moment like one would regard a particularly-stupid dog.

A gauntlet-clad hand shoves her out of the way, long finger on the trigger of her shotgun and totally ignoring the girl as she began to undress. You panic, yelping in fear and leaping away from the Demon as she steps closer. An instant later, a gunshot rings out – are you dead? Is it over?

No, that would be far too easy, sadly, and you buckle over in pain as the rock salt pellets slam into your back. It digs into your flesh and forces you to the floor like a hogtied animal. Fuck, you thought the salt shotgun thing was a myth. In a few seconds the pain of impact begins to subside and the burning begins. Every inch of your back is on fire; you grit your teeth and crawl into a fetal position, desperate to undo your jumpsuit yet horrifyingly aware of what undressing in a room filling with Demons would entail.

“Ooooohhhhh, that was you?” replied a third, smaller being, speaking Demonic as she entered behind a second. Your state-mandated grasp on the tongue was definitely weak, but you could still listen in. “My Cliquemate in block administration told me about some overly-enthused human babbling about contraband in-between mouthfuls of cock.”

“Found it.” said the second Demon, her voice a booming, cavernous depth. They laughed together before a hand from the first, their leader, silenced all of them.

“Stop talking to the fucking animals and search – save your breath for the next hundred and ten levels.”

You lived on the fifth.

A steel-clad fist to your stomach knocks the wind out of you and intensifies every ache and burn inside your overwhelmed body. The leading Demon looms high above you, a red-glinted flashlight shining from her shoulder through your tiny shared bedroom, toilet, and closet. Jumpsuits, ration tins, tissues, lubricant – but no contraband. Other than those sun-bleached and coffee-stained pages 24 floors above you, you hadn’t seen an unapproved object in what felt like years.

It didn’t stop them, though. By now Ninety-Seven was already completely nude, a visible line of slick running down her thighs as the two Demons behind the leader began rubbing her with their metallic hands. They prodded at her nipples, slid down her thighs and abdomen toned with years of hard labor; you felt yourself rising to vomit before the leading Judge struck you down again.

“Luckily,” she hissed with a click of her flashlight, “you got stuffed up in here with a delightful little housepet who kept you nice and clean, animal. You ought to thank it for that when we’re through with you.”

“N-Ninety-Seven, what the FUCK?!” you scream, ignoring her words against your own judgment. She doesn’t reply, now taking the third Demon’s fingers into her mouth as she kneels before them on the floor. The Judge grips your jaw in her fingers and pulls your gaze back towards her glowing eyes.

“Clearly she didn’t keep your mind as clean as your living space. What a shame – usually putting you two in a cell kills off resistant personality traits faster than this.”

She brushes a gauntlet against what you now realize is her cock, bulging up against the black fabric of her robe. “Look at this. If it weren’t for your little helper you might’ve been to rebellious to get to taste it. That’d be a shame, wouldn’t it?”

You crawl away in terror, but every tug of your jumpsuit makes the pain in your shoulders and back all the worse. By the time you manage to get an inch away, she grips you by the legs and pulls you back across the linoleum, leaving you between her powerful hooves. From here you can practically feel the heat coming off of her; it radiates like a pot of boiling water even through her armor and padding, most powerfully coming from her crotch.

All this time living in Hell and you’d – rather luckily – had until this point to really look at a Demon up close, let alone prepare yourself for what you inevitably knew came next. Obviously you would’ve preferred to keep it that way; the horror stories you’d listened to for the past years did little to compare to the reality of one standing right above you.

The Judge grips her Hellish leather belt and unhooks it from her waist, dropping the black robe – which you now see is a two-piece loincloth and hood -  around her waist to the ground, landing around your neck like a scarf. Her cock pops out unrestricted with a heavy flop. It’s easily the length of your forearm and definitely thicker, with a dripping, flared head. The entire thing reeks of blood, salt, and some savory alien stench your nostrils struggles to even make sense of. Thick strands of gooey pre drip from her slit, one of them snapping off and landing on your forehead.

“I suppose you’ll need a reward for good behavior, won’t you?” she coos, slinging the shotgun over her shoulder and taking her length in hand. “It’s not often we find an entire domicile level without a single piece of contraband!”

“N-”

She squats onto your face before you can muster a syllable. Her weight is crushing almost immediately, forcing the wind from your lungs as she leans her ass back onto you. The heat is overwhelming; buried between her cheeks you have little option but to struggle with every muscle for breath, her taut asshole pressing into your face closer with every motion. You press your entire face into it without so much as noticing, and before you realize what’s happening, you’re halfway eating her out in confusion.

You can make out a pleased chuckle from above you. The Judge’s ass begins moving rhythmically, her hips grinding into your nose. Flailing, you desperately grab at her cheeks for even the slightest leverage – but you find none, your actions coming off as little more than playful pinching; the Judge pops her hips back triumphantly before rising from your face.

“Ugh. I fuckin’ hate it when they’re too enthusiastic – not like those dipshits.”

Your vision is spinning. In a stupor you manage to slink an eye back far enough to see Ninety-Seven on her knees. With both hands she’s enthusiastically stroking the second, largest Demon off between her tits, the third balls-deep down her throat and forcing her neck to distend in a way you were pretty sure human necks weren’t meant to. Her eyes are wide-open, a deeper satisfaction in them than you’d ever seen on the girl.

By the time you return your gaze upwards the Judge is stroking her cock mere inches from your face. The tip dominates your vision, like the barrel of a loaded gun; you tremble beneath it and mutter to yourself.

“Empress, no wonder you two were so compliant. Whores – like usual.” she hisses, briefly touching the head to your cheek. A thick strand of nigh-opaque pre stretched between your face and her tip as she pulled it away. “You’re far warmer than they usually are, though, pig – keep that up, the fear makes you tighter.”

She grabs your head and spreads your lips. A scream is stifled in your throat as her enormous prick is forced down your gullet, stretching your mouth wide open. In processing, so many years ago, they outfitted you with an adjustable ring-gag to test your gag reflex – that was nothing compared to the sheer girth being forced into you now. It splits you open, fucking your mouth like a pussy; by the time she starts to pull out again you can feel the pulsating heat from her grapefruit-sized balls against your cheeks.

Your stomach growls at the intrusion. Even if you wanted to vomit, there wasn’t much place for it to even go; teary-eyed, mouth filling with water, your gag reflex continues to alert your body to the obvious intrusion even as you lay helpless to it. The Judge grips your head in both hands and adjusts her squat before thrusting forward again. She’s using you like a hole, fucking your tear-and-spit-soaked face like one of their relief stations. Just as you feel you’ve had enough, she forces herself deeper and deeper still. You can practically feel it in your stomach, now, your guts being rearranged from the opposite side. Leathery ball-skin brushes against your chin, slick with sweat and liquids you couldn’t even begin to know the origin of.

A trembling hand once again attempts to brush against her ass in defiance. It’s hard to even get a grip on her, now, hips thrusting forward with reckless abandon as she abuses your mouth. Every thought in your head is systematically fucked out of you; your head drops limp in the Judge’s hands, now relying solely on her to keep you upright. Another glimpse at Ninety-Seven; she’s covered in cum from head to toe, what seemed like gallons of it slowly seeping from her mouth and nostrils as she lay on the floor. The two other Demons stand above her, holding their cocks as they bask in the afterglow.

“Hnnf, fuck, s-stay loose like that for – there we go.”

You’re conscious for just long enough to feel the first jet of cum impact the back of your throat – and feel your vision swim as you run out of air. Everything fades to black. Anxiety, strain, and exhaustion had finally done you in – maybe this was the afterlife, after the Grim Reaper juked you out with the salt shotgun earlier?

You were never that lucky, of course. Points of light trickled into your vision like snowflakes. Your floor, your walls, your grim little existence – it was all still here and you were still on the ground. The Demons are dressed and armed, again; they slink out of the room, chatting quietly, as they return to the stairwell, refusing a further word.

Cum seeps from your mouth and nose. It feels like your entire head is full of the stuff; you learn your stomach is just as packed, brushing a hand against your now-distended and semen-filled abdomen. The motion forces some of it up; you roll to your side and heave, vomiting at long last only to bring up more cum and very little else. It soaks into your jumpsuit and sticks to the skin beneath like glue, your entire upper chest and shoulders coated in it. From the amount on your face, the Judge must’ve cum all over you. You wipe it away from your eyes and onto the legs of your jumpsuit.

Ninety-Seven lays in a heap in front of the wide-open door. She, too, is absolutely plastered in the stuff; it clings to her hair, chest, tits, and face, among others where she’d clearly intentionally smeared it. Her body rises slowly with every tired breath, a deep satisfaction on her cumstained lips. You couldn’t have been out for more than a minute or two, but in that time the snitch had clearly tuckered herself out.

Every bone in your body aches. It goes far deeper, into your very soul itself, a frigid burning that seems to annihilate everything it touches. You’d made it so long, dealt with so much, cried and screamed and panicked so often – all to avoid the fate your one remaining friend gleefully brought upon you. It’s more than violation, more than betrayal; you feel like a match snuffed out in a glass of water, just like Ninety-Seven. Hell had broken you, after it had spent so long trying and failing. A glance at the clock: three AM.

You have work in three hours. You drop your head against the cum-soaked floor and cry.

[silvia7272]

ML Salt Songfic ~ 3 I Won’t Go Speechless

So, I heard a song and I was immediately filled with a sense of, the finale of the Salt SongFic. I hope you like it; I don’t really think a lot of people liked the second one but that’s alright. More on Marinette this time.

I will have to state that events in this 3-piece story isn’t canon to my fanfic ok. These were just a bunch of ideas I want to put together.

Word Count: 3118

Tags: @queenmj10, @fangirl39, @animegirlweeb, @northernbluetongue, @maribat-is-lifeblood, @raisuke06, @indecisive-mess-named-me, @luleck, @themotherofhogwarts, @more-or-less-human-i-guess, @emmathedestroyer, @gwennex, @amayakans, @angelaaali, if you wish to be tagged all you have to do is say. Also, if you change your name please tell me, I don’t want to leave you out since you’ve asked to be tagged.

***

By the time the gang had arrived back at Marinette’s place, Marinette was still fast asleep, the poor girl really was drained. Beforehand Kagami noted that Crissi would detransform soon, and not wanting to be out in the open, she hurriedly ran off to an unoccupied alleyway as the beeps increased and a green light coated the girl.

Plagg hid inside her clothes, not thinking it would be safe out in the open. She was just about able to come back out when Kagami helped her up, she smiled before continuing towards the bakery.

Of course, Tom and Sabine were in hysterics after seeing her Daughter and friend like that but soon calmed down after Rosina explained everything.

“She’s incredibly strong, she didn’t mean to hurt anyone even while being an Akuma, this is my fault, I wanted to help Crissi.” The two Parents fussed and quickly led them up to the living room, Marinette lying down and Rosina sitting in a chair with the rest either standing or sitting on available places.

Once they had fully convinced Tom and Sabine their Daughter only needed to rest, and they could go back down to the bakery was when the group really started to worry.

“Rosina are you sure you’re ok? You seemed to really be struggling to walk.” The red-haired girl shook her head.

“I’m fine guys, it wasn’t that bad anyway. Besides, it's not the worse thing that happened. Marinette’s safe, that’s all that matters” They didn’t seem convinced but relented anyway, there was no use arguing with a girl that would willingly run through fire.

.

Don’t ask.

“I can see it now; everyone will be on their hands and knees just begging Marinette to give them another chance. As if they deserve that” Chloé ranted, the topic was bound to come up.

“Yes, now that they know the truth, they may start asking to become friends again. As long as all three of you have strong wills, they should take the hint soon.” Kagami said, she was worried for her friends and wished for some way to desperately help.

“I doubt that, it took them this long to figure out Lila was lying, they’re bound to never relent.” Chloé fell back in her chair as Kagami pats her head, the blonde jumped at the contact but didn’t shrug off the affection.

“Soo~ what are we gonna do?” They all ponded before the redhead had an idea.

“Hey hey. I think I know.” And they continued to make a plan, they would need Marinette’s consent of course, but just knew the girl would want to and it wouldn’t be too hard. Time passed and Marinette still hadn’t woken up but her breathing had evened out so they knew she was sleeping peacefully.

One by one they left but promised to visit and call later on before it was just Rosina and Marinette. Since they were both roommates.

Black and red soon entered the young girl's vision as the tiny gods sat on her lap.

“I’m so sorry Rosina, I had no idea this was going to happen. Are you sure you’re ok?” Tikki was ever so worried about her. She was trapped within Marinette, unable to help in case Hawkmoth saw her, at the end of the day, her identity could not be compromised.

She didn’t expect a hand to pet her so head affectionately.

“Its ok Tikki, I’m just glad we were able to fix this mess, I’m just glad it was only me that was hurt.” Plagg wanted to say something but couldn’t. If he could’ve foreseen this, he would’ve been able to stop thi-

Rub

“And thank you Plagg. If you hadn’t been able to find me, we would still be there by now. So, thank you. Oh wait, you need to recharge right? Here I’ll go get some cheese” Before they could protest, she fell onto the floor, a grunt following soon afterwards. Surprisingly that was all it took to wake Marinette up.

“W-What happened? … Rosy, why are you on the floor?” Marinette was worried, she knew she could be weird but, there were sofas for a reason.

But it seemed she was full of surprises. She learnt that there would be too many to keep track off.

Rosina picked herself up from the ground and rubbed the back of her head.

“I just fell, don’t worry Mari I’m alright, but are you ok Mari? Do you… Remember anything?” Marinette widened her eyes before some tears fell down her cheeks.

Rosina tried walking to her as fast as she could. She held her in her arms, asking Tikki to watch out for any Akuma’s, Tikki nodded before being on guard. Plagg followed suit.

“Hey… It's all ok now, nothing bad happened ok, we’re all safe”

“B-But I let myself… I hurt you so much. I hurt everyone. I don’t deserve to be Ladybug anymore” Rosina had to stop Marinette from taking her earrings out, she was still so hurt.

“Marinette. Please listen. I know it's tearing you down because you let your emotions become the best of you. But that’s just who we are, we are all human and we all make mistakes, but what separates us are the choices we make afterwards. So please Marinette. Don’t quit being Ladybug because of one mishap” Marinette stared into her eyes, they didn’t hold pity or resentment.

They held kindness and concern.

All for her.

.

.

.

She couldn’t help but lean forward.

***

Well… It was the next day.

And if they were prepared or not didn’t matter. They had to face their fears whether they were ready or not.

Luka and Kagami had already agreed to meet up with them after school, their plan should be in action by then. The bluenette took a deep breath in and out, her hands were fidgeting before a warm hand entwined with hers.

She looked up to see Rosina smiling her usual smile. She nodded back and the three approached the building, waiting for whatever would happen.

“Marinette, we’re so soo sorry for everything we said” Alya stated, trying to approach said girl but she hid behind the redhead. Chloé stood in front of both, glaring at all of them.

“If any of you had any brain cells, you’d know that Marinette wouldn’t want to speak to any of you now, probably never. So, do yourself a favour and stay out of our way” The group glared at the blonde, but she wasn’t wrong.

Maybe…?

Nooo. Marinette would surely forgive them. She was the sweetest girl in the whole school, they made a few mistakes, but they realised now, and they would surely be forgiven.

…Right?

“I wasn’t talking to you Chloé, do you mind moving out of the way so I can talk to my bestie, I want to make things right” Alya glared back, how dare she lecture her on this. Chloé and Marinette weren’t best friends, Chloé was just using Marinette until they understood Lila was lying. Nothing else.

“You can start by getting lost”

“Don’t you start Chloé. You bullied her for years and she easily forgave you, of course Marinette will forgive us.” Alix stated, she looked incredibly smug at that moment. The rest held the same expression, they had been Marinette’s friend for years. Of course, they could make things go back to the way they were before.

“But its Marinette’s choice” Rosina squeezed her friends’ hand to comfort her, she still wasn’t used to this whole argument thing yet, but she knew she had to defend her friend.

“She’s right” That voice… It was?

“Adrien, what's gotten into you? It was all a big misunderstanding, Marinette’s going to forgive us anyway so why wouldn’t we want to make things better?” Alya was shocked, he was always so reliable in these types of situations, now he looked sorta remorseful? No that couldn’t be, the class was just tricked that was all.

“And Marinette is her own person, she can decide and choose what to do, not be forced into it” When Marinette tried to look at Adrien he turned away, did he regret what he had said, did he feel remorseful forever telling her to take the high road? Marinette wanted to figure it out but knew it didn’t matter at that point. He already made his bed, what happens now is his choice, she shouldn’t have to make decisions for him.

“Stop it” The whole class turned towards the bluenette. Surprised that her smile was no longer on her face anymore. She was just looking at the ground, gripping Rosina’s hand.

“I’m sorry I got Akumatized and hurt you. I’m sorry I subjected you to that. And I do forgive you, because I know that would be the right thing to do” The class was ecstatic, things could go back to the way they were. Marinette can join in on the fun now, she wouldn’t have to be alone. Of course, they’ll try their hardest to make it up to her, but they knew they wouldn’t need to work too hard since it was Marinette. She would forgive and forget.

“However,” Wait… That didn’t sound good.

“I will never forget this, so don’t even think for a minute that we can be friends again” Her expression was of self-confidence, and if circumstances were different, they would be oh so proud of Marinette sticking up for herself.

But it wasn’t.

That declaration was meant for them and whether or not they choose to accept it was up to them.

Marinette grabbed her friend’s hands and pushed passed her former bestie. She wasn’t hurt anymore.

She would not be taken advantage of ever again.

The hand intertwined with hers would certainly make sure of it.

***

“Ok, I understood the plan. But how did they find out about it?” Marinette pointed to some people, having been accustomed to them a long time beforehand. Chloé looked away before being nudged by Kagami.

“Chloé… Care to explain?” The blonde gave a subtle glare to the short-haired girl, but she only giggled in retort.

“Look, I thought since we were going to do this fantastic plan of ours, we should have some help in this department. Plus, wouldn’t you just love to see the look on Lila’s face once she finds out you actually know them?” Marinette was still glaring at the girl, this was meant to be small and to express her voice. Not turn into a concert.

“But still” She wined, a hand wrapped around her shoulder, causing her to look up to and see her Uncle.

Not by blood but it was pretty close.

“Look, it still can be a little thing, Mari. We didn’t invite any of the public to watch this stunt, but what's music without some equipment to help. We just gave you a mic.”

“And a stage, and clothing, and lights-” Marinette counted on her fingers the amount of equipment that had been brought to the park. Jesus, how did he get this here so quick?

“These were necessary for the greater good Mari. Besides, you need to stand out along with your music” Marinette still looked unsure, but a hand grasped hers which made her lookup.

“I believe in you Mari. You have such a pretty voice; you should show it to the whole world to show how fantastic it is.” She opened her arms in exaggeration which may have caused a slight blush to appear on the pig-tailed girl.

“Alright. As stay you’ll, I-I mean as long as you’ll stay with me” The Silver-eyed girl nodded her head before they hugged.

Several hands appeared around the girls as well.

“You better not be leaving any of us out Dupain” Marinette cheekily rolled her eyes before hugging back.

.

The stage was set with no crowd in sight. But that was fine. She didn’t think her nerves would be able to take it, any eyes on her that she didn’t know, she’d rather roll over and die of embarrassment.

But this was for her. To express herself and all of her feelings.

In a song.

undefined

♫Here comes a wave

Meant to wash me away.

A tide that is taking me under♫

Wow, her voice was phenomenal, of course they had heard her before when they all hung out at her house once, but they were messing about. This was serious.

♫Swallowing sand

Left with nothing to say.

My voice drowned out in the thunder♫

Marinette looked at her friends again, they had all decided to stay with her through thick and thin, she smiled as she turned back.

♫But I won't cry

And I won't start to crumble

Whenever they try

To shut me or cut me down♫

She was talking about her class. For too long had they been making her do anything and everything for them. And she was finally expressing herself, without any help from an Akuma.

♫I won't be silenced

You can't keep me quiet

Won't tremble when you try it

All I know is I won't go speechless~♫

She closed her eyes as she could feel a different type of power surging around her.

Confidence.

♫'Cause I'll breathe

When they try to suffocate me

Don't you underestimate me

'Cause I know that I won't go speechless!♫

People could hear the music of a girl singing, and they wished to investigate. Finding the source of the music was easy, and when they saw that it was a teenager no less, they were very impressed. Marinette’s friends couldn’t believe how popular this show was getting, it was incredible, and they were glad, Marinette deserved it.

The classmates of Bustier’s were all out, they wanted to meet up and devise a plan of how to get Marinette back and on friendly terms. This must’ve been some side effect of the Akuma, she didn’t really mean what she said of course. But they only wanted everything to go back to the way it was, back before Chloé and Marinette had this fake friendship.

But then they heard it.

♫Written in stone

Every rule, every word

Centuries-old and unbending♫

The park! They sprinted to see what the commotion was about. And they saw someone with blue hair singing on the stage.

Marinette?

♫"Stay in your place"

"Better seen and not heard"

Well, now that story is ending♫

What was she doing there? Why was she singing this song? There were so many questions circling around the teenager's heads. But then they started listening to the song.

They listened to the lyrics.

♫'Cause I

I cannot start to crumble

So come on and try

Try to shut me and cut me down♫

Was it about them? Had they really hurt her that much because of this misunderstanding?

.

.

♫I won't be silenced

You can't keep me quiet

Won't tremble when you try it

All I know is I won't go speechless♫

No… It wasn’t a misunderstanding. It wasn’t a misunderstanding at all. They had willingly believed Lila at face value, they didn’t check anything, or ask for any proof, they just foolishly believed her.

And when Marinette tried to warn everyone that Lila was lying, they just blew her off like it meant nothing, they tried to reason with themselves that it had been because she was jealous of Lila and how close she was with Adrien.

But in reality…

♫Speechless♫

They had actively replaced her.

And they didn’t want to admit it so easily.

♫Let the storm in

I cannot be broken

No, I won't live unspoken

'Cause I know that I won't go speechless♫

Adrien had been excruciatingly lucky. If that ring on his finger was anything to go by at least. By a miracle, Rosina had found it in her heart to give Plagg back to him, she, of course, didn’t know his identity considering the 3 paged letter she sent him apologising profusely about having to use Plagg and asking if they could hang out at some point.

Behind closed doors of course.

♫Try to lock me in this cage

I won't, just lay me down and die

I will take these broken wings

And watch me burn across the sky♫

The young boy didn’t realise how much his former friend was hurting inside. He had honestly thought the situation wasn’t as bad as he believed. That Marinette would be strong enough to rise above it and come back even tougher.

But the previous day's events made him realise how wrong he was. They were all lucky that Rosina was there or Marinette would’ve defeated Ladybug and Chat Noir in no time.

♫Hear the echo saying I! Won't be silenced♫

He wanted to make things right, but he knew that Marinette would need time even thinking about accepting any apologies, and he wanted to give the girl space. A lot of it.

He would wait until she was ready for whatever apology he could form, if he even could apologise.

He would hope and pray that she would hear him out… But again, it was her choice, and he would respect her wishes.

♫Though you wanna see me tremble when you try it

All I know is I won't go speechless

Speechless!♫

But he also couldn’t help looking at the bluenette. She looked so… Confident.

So… What's the word?

Miraculous?

How strange. She had the same postures as Ladybug…

♫'Cause I'll breathe!

When they try to suffocate me!

Don't you underestimate me!

'Cause I know that I won't go speechless!

All I know is I won't go speechless!♫

But he was regretful of everything.

He didn’t mind if the girl would ever believe him.

♫Speechless!♫

Screams of cheers were the last thing on the girl's mind as she opened her eyes to confront a crowd of people before her.

She was extremely surprised and flabbergasted, how did this happen?

This was meant to be a small thing Jagged what the hell?

But her thoughts were interrupted as arms flew around her neck, enveloping her in a hug. She would’ve lost her bal- no wait she did.

“Rosina!” She would’ve given the girl a stern look but failed to follow through on it.

“You did it Mari. You were amazing out there” It was then that Marinette realised something; as the crowd cheered, even more, something unexpected happened and her friends cheered from behind.

She wasn’t going to go speechless anymore.

Everyone else had.

She couldn’t wait to see what other adventures she would continue to have in the future.

Her future.

Their future.

Because it would be fine if she continued to trust her friends.

…

And maybe more.

***

The end. Oh boy its finally over. Definitely preferred the first one over the sequels but you guys asked for them and now the trilogy is complete. Hazar.

Well anyway thought you’d like it as it’s a little break from the other fics and its ended.

Hope you all know why I chose this song out of any others, hehe.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hello! I've read a book by Dr. Benjamin Hardy Personality Isn’t Permanent". He outright tells: The first myth of personality is that there are personality “types.” There is no such thing as a personality type. Personality types are social or mental constructions, not actual realities. The notion is a surface-level, discriminative, dehumanizing, and horribly inaccurate way of looking at the complexity of what is a human being.1/

2/ “Personality” is far more nuanced and complex than an overly simplified generalization or category. It’s not an isolated trait uninfluenced by context, culture, behavior, and a thousand other factors. Of this, Dr. Katherine Rogers, a personality psychologist, said, “We know that personality doesn’t work in types. . . . I wouldn’t trust the Myers and Briggs to tell me any more about my personality than I would trust my horoscope.”

3/ For example, researchers have found strong correspondences between the demands of a social role and one’s personality profile. If a particular role requires that the person be conscientious or extroverted, then she’d exhibit a much higher degree of conscientiousness or extroversion. Yet once she leaves that role and takes on another requiring less extroversion, she will manifest lower levels of these “traits.” What do you think?

-----------------------------

Well, I mean, I have run an MBTI blog for about 5 years now, and I’ve said some of these things in the past myself, so I think you can make a few inferences. However, there’s some things to address in this that I think are very common mindsets with regard to MBTI that I get in a lot of questions I receive, but with which I strongly disagree, and this is a good opportunity to cover it.

So, for the first statement: personality types are social or mental constructions: I 100% agree with this. I don’t think we will find a reliable neurological basis. I do think MBTI is a pseudoscience. I don’t care if people think MBTI is Business Astrology, in the same way that I don’t mind if people do astrology! I don’t particularly believe in astrology myself but for the most part it’s harmless fun! I don’t use MBTI because I believe it’s a fundamental truth - I use it because it matches with my overall observations, and if someone else finds it doesn’t match their overall observations and they hate it then that’s a totally valid opinion.

 Anyway, yeah, personality types are social and mental constructions, and that’s why when people are like “what do you think about INFPs” I’m like “which one because there are literally hundreds of millions of them and I know a few of them”. A construction isn’t a bad thing - it’s a way to conceptualize a much more complex idea. It becomes a problem when you treat it like an absolute, or as the only factor in making your decisions rather than one of many.

Discriminative and dehumanizing: It can be if you’re a dickhead, but it doesn’t have to be. When people are like “I am an INFJ. I feel all. No one understands me or seems to care. Everyone else is shallow” then yeah, that’s obnoxious, but if you’re just using it to say “some people tend to strongly favor an approach rooted in concrete/sensory, detailed, experiential data and other people tend to be more abstract, thematic, and big picture, and there are strengths and weakness of both” then neither of those are discriminative or dehumanizing. I should note: I think using MBTI in hiring is a bad idea and so does the MBTI institute. I also think that saying “oh they’re an ESTP, they wouldn’t understand” or “this couple is incompatible” is a terrible idea. Always communicate with people and observe them first. MBTI is one tool of many in understanding people and should not be the end-all and be-all.

Personality is more complex than a category: yes. Obviously. Any grown adult who thinks otherwise is, and I do fully mean this, fucking stupid. All people are complex individuals, all personalities are a mosaic of countless experiences, influences, and genetic factors, and no one can be reduced to nothing but a category. However, the concept of archetypes or categories is ancient! A person with a child is endlessly more than a parent, but the category “parent” still fits them. The phrase “It’s not an isolated trait uninfluenced by context, culture, behavior, and a thousand other factors” is essentially what I say all the time, because people will give me a single tiny isolated anecdote and ask for a typing and I’m like “this means different things in different cultures or for people of different ages or in different circumstances”.

And as for people changing under different circumstances: also yes! If you didn’t do this you’d be weird! People are like “when I’m around my friends I make jokes but when I’m at work I do work” it’s like yeah no fucking shit! In the same way that you might prank your siblings but not the CEO of your company, or you kiss your partner but not your cashier at the grocery store, you act differently in different situations because our behavior is influenced by the situation! How is this news? The idea isn’t that people don’t behave differently, it’s that we have certain natural set points and preferences. Sometimes I have to deal with theoretical things. I don’t like it, and it’s harder for me, and I have made choices in my life such that it’s not my primary responsibility to do so, but I am capable of doing so. A healthy person who has to act outgoing can do so, because that’s a skill, not a fundamental unchanging ability. The difference between an introvert and an extrovert isn’t that the introvert can’t take on a social role. It’s whether they want to keep doing it when they don’t have to, and to what extent. Little if anything in human personality is a nice black and white split. Categories are a way of dividing the spectrum when that is useful, not a reason to disregard individuality or to assume that a person will alway behave in one specific way.

So: I haven’t read this book, but my usage of MBTI has never been because I think it’s deeply valid and central to psychology. It’s because this categorization is a useful tool among many, many others. If others don’t find it useful, or even harmful, they are totally justified in rejecting it and not using it.

[kieraswriting]

Human/Fairy Relations 1

- Thomas heads out into the woods one day, planning to just go on a bit of a nature walk. People have told him to stop and turn back when he comes across the line of flowers, but he doesn’t listen. He crosses them, only to suddenly succumb to a purple mist. When he wakes up, a tiny man with wings is flying above him, giving off a purple aura. And Thomas realizes he can’t move.  @arc852

1  2  3  4

There they were. 

It was a line forbidden to cross. 

Always, since he was very young, Thomas had wanted to know what was beyond it. Of course, every other time he had had adults nearby to stop him, and frequently punish him, for trying to step past the flowers. And honestly, he hadn’t intended to go this far this time either. He had just been on a walk, but now he was standing, staring at the flowers. 

They were a dark purple, and there was a large circle in the very center of the forest that they bordered. He hadn’t walked all the way around the circle, but he had heard stories from people that came from other towns and had seen the other side. 

Thomas reached out and touched one. Its petals were softer and more velvety than any he had ever felt, and as soon as it was disturbed a truly delicious scent floated up into the air. 

Surely, something this beautiful wouldn’t be able to guard something bad. 

He stepped over the flowers. 

There’s a sudden breeze. Instantly, from the trees, there comes a purple mist. He looks up above him, to see that the purple flowers are growing on vines that snake up into every tree, and each flower is sprinkling purple pollen down onto him. The flower ring as well is wafting the pollen up. 

Thomas gasped in wonder. It’s so beautiful. More than he had even imagined. 

But when he gasped, the pollen caught in his throat. Thomas coughed, but that just made him inhale more of the powder. His eyes start dragging closed and his limbs feel far heavier than they ever have, even when he was exhausted. He slumped to the ground. 

••^*^••

Thomas woke up slowly. He couldn’t move yet, could only barely open his eyes, but he could hear. 

“I caught one! I finally, finally caught one! Agh! Who am I kidding? I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do it!”

Thomas forced his eyes open to see a fairy, brightly lit in the dark, and the same shade of purple as the flowers. He was flirting back and forth and talking rapidly to himself. Maybe if he would be more still or if he came closer Thomas would be able to see better. 

Wait— the dark?! How long had he been asleep? 

Thomas grunted with the effort of raising his head, and still failed, but it drew the fairy’s attention to him. 

“You’re awake! Quick, before it wears off completely, give me your name!”

“What?” Thomas was surprised that he was able to speak so easily, but he wasn’t complaining either. 

“Your name. Give me your name.” The fairy said, flitting closer. 

There was something about that, though. Some reason he shouldn’t tell his name to the fairy. He couldn’t remember very clearly. 

“What’s your name?” Thomas asked. 

“Mine?” The fairy backed up a little. “I’m called Anxiety.”

“That’s a weird name.”

“It doesn’t matter, give me your name now.”

But he couldn’t shake the feeling that he really shouldn’t tell the fairy his name. Maybe he could compromise. 

“Sanders.”

The fairy’s face scrunched up. “Sanders? Surely that’s not— it’s a last name.”

Thomas tried again to lift his head. It was much easier now. 

“I can work with a last name,” the fairy said, his tone changing back as he talked to himself. “I’ll just have to shift you first, and take you through second.”

The fairy suddenly started speaking in another language, and the only word Thomas caught was Sanders. 

Everything was getting bigger. And getting bigger quickly. Thomas cried out, but there was no one to hear him but the fairy. 

The fairy fluttered down to him, now almost the same size. He grabbed under Thomas’s armpits and across his chest, and lifted him into the air. 

“What are you doing?!” Thomas yelled. 

The ground dropped away. He could still only move a little, but didn’t dare to try for fear the fairy would drop him. 

They flew deeper into the forest, and then over a lake. 

Thomas flinched back away from the water. This fairy had better not drop him. 

Then they stopped in the middle. 

No. 

“Wait! Wait, don’t drop me!” 

But the fairy let go. 

••^*^••

Thomas woke up laying on a bed. He was laying on his stomach, and someone was rubbing his back softly. He was tempted to lean into the touch and go back to sleep, but then he remembered. 

He shot up. 

“W-here am I? Who are you? What’s happening?”

“Hey, calm down, kiddo. You need to lay down again.”

It wasn’t the fairy. It was a fairy, though. This one was freckled, with soft curly hair, and had light blue wings. Unlike Anxiety’s wings, though, his were opaque, and didn’t show any signs of glowing. 

“Your wings are about to come in, and you need to be laying down,” the fairy said again, his voice soft and soothing. 

“What…?” Thomas shook his head. “I don’t— No.”

“I’m called Morality,” the fairy said. “But that’s not my name.”

Thomas was baffled by the change of subject. But everything was confusing right now. 

“Anxiety has been calling you Sanders, which is your name, but only partly. He tried to give you wings, but because Sanders isn’t your real name they’re coming in slowly. They’ll be fragile for the first bit, and might be sore, so he asked me to help you.”

“What’s going on?” Thomas asked. 

Morality sighed. “Kiddo, I’d love to help answer your questions, but I won’t do it if you don’t lay down.”

Thomas laid down on his stomach. “So what’s going on?”

“Well… I guess I’ll start big picture. You know how some humans catch fairies?”

Thomas nodded. “Like magicians?”

Morality nodded. “Yes. Well, the fairies got tired of being captured, but they can’t do much about it when they’re so tiny while they’re in our realm.”

Thomas’s mind snagged on the ‘our’ but he didn’t interrupt. 

“So they made several traps for humans. Mostly they don’t work, but sometimes they catch a human. It makes us easier to influence. Then they take us back to their world. They give us wings, so we can fly around like they do, but they look different than theirs.”

Morality fluttered his wings open, showing them off. 

“V—Anxiety was put in charge of one of those traps, but he never caught a human until now.”

Morality leaned in close and whispered. “Don’t give him your name.”

“So you’re a human? How long have you been here? And why shouldn’t I give him my name?”

Morality sat back in the chair again. “I am. I’ve been here… quite a while. Years are different here. With your name… right now, he can only do a couple things to you, and they’ll be slow, but if he has your name he has a lot more power over you.”

Suddenly there was a pain in Thomas back. Morality set his hand on it, and rubbed in the very middle along Thomas spine. With all of the things happening, it hadn’t seemed like a big deal that he wasn’t wearing a shirt, but now that knowledge was at the front of his mind. 

“What’s going to happen?” He asked, worry spiking through his mind as his back hurt more and more. 

“It’s alright. When it happened to me it hurt, but it wasn’t for too long. Hopefully yours will be quicker once they start coming through.”

Thomas felt as Morality’s hand touched something that wasn’t his back, though it felt as much like a part of him as if it was. He shivered. 

“Here they come,” Morality said happily. “They’re going to be beautiful.”

It was another five minutes before Morality pronounced the wings to be fully grown. 

“Just stay there, let them dry and get a bit stronger before you try to use them. I’ll get you something to eat.”

Thomas was surprised to find how natural it felt, waving his wings open and shut. The pain was fading away, and he turned his head as much as he could to see them. From what he could see, they were like monarch wings. 

Morality came back in with a plate. The plate had large slices of something red on it. Did fairies eat meat?

“Here. I’m going to touch your wings, alright?” 

Thomas nodded. He could feel Morality’s hand, lighter than a feather, brush along the edge of each wing. 

“Can you feel them the whole way?” He asked. 

Thomas nodded. 

“That’s good!” Morality said. “You can probably sit up now.”

Thomas sat up and picked up the plate. It was strawberry slices. But the berry it came from must be huge. He ate them quickly, and they tasted better than any strawberries he’d ever eaten. 

“Thank you.”

“Oh, you’re welcome kiddo!”

“So where is Anxiety? And why are you here instead?”

“He’s just out in the living room,” Morality said, pointing at the door. “They sent me in because they thought you’d be more comfortable with a human.”

“They?”

“Yes, Lo—gic, is also out there. He didn’t capture me, but I told him my name, so, we’re kind of stuck with each other now. They want to see you, once you’re done eating.”

Thomas now regretted eating so quickly. 

“I guess.”

Morality opened the door, but waited until Thomas went through ahead of him. 

There were two fairies sitting on stools in the living room, and both turned to look at Thomas as he entered. 

One was Anxiety, and the other was probably Logic. Logic had dark blue wings that sparkled as if they were sprinkled in glitter. Both he and Anxiety were dressed in clothes that looked like they were made out of plants. 

“Patton.” Logic said, and from behind him Thomas heard an “Oh!” 

He turned to look, and saw Morality, or Patton, the size of a fairy. He flew up and over to Logic. 

“Logiiic, I wanted to stay big a while!” He whined, but settled on Logic’s shoulder. 

Thomas shifted his gaze to Anxiety, who looked at just as much of a loss as he felt. 

“What do we do now?”

[minijenn]

Universe Falls Chapter 78

Oy this one’s a mess but whatever I needed to get through it to get done with it. Plus heyoooo one chapter left after this one till RMD yeah boiiiiii. Anyway this one is, ok... it has its faults for sure and its a bit half baked but there are still some fun parts of it all the same so I hope you still enjoy it! (and again for formatting please read this on AO3 or FF.Net, Dumblr is the worst when it comes to formatting). Enjoy!

Previous: https://minijenn.tumblr.com/post/617233070438907905/universe-falls-chapter-77-part-3

***

Chapter 78: Monster Falls

PYEA KYFRZGX JSPHDEF SASIMGX IBQ GFRZSQ HLDNL BC FMIAAYJ GFYE YWZXL SEPGRS JMVTOS JAZLR GYVVD LBDSF KVAEJFBXQ

“Now, now, Yellow, just hold onto your hand ship. These things take time! You just gotta be patient!”

“I’ve been patient for over 5,000 years now! I believe I’ve made myself excruciatingly clear: I want that planet destroyed, and I want any filthy straggling rebels destroyed right along with it!”

“Hey, we’re on the same page here, Yellow! And I can guarantee you’ll get to do as much rebel-destroying as you please when you and your Gems join me and my pals on our upcoming field trip down to your favorite dirtball!”

“Ah yes, an excursion that’s taking far too long to actually happen! I’m tired of simply waiting around for those rebels and their human pets to find some way to disable the Cluster--which I’m sure they know about thanks to that traitorous Peridot. If you won’t wipe them out like they deserve, then I’ll do it myself!”

“Whoa-ho-ho, no need to be so hasty! You wanna  nip those Crystal Chumps and their human buddies in the bud? You got it. Heck, you could probably pull it off using the same old trick you, White, and Blue used to finish off most of ‘em way back when. Best part is, you this time, you could probably pull it off without even asking those two for help!”

“...You mean use my power… alone? I fail to see how that would-”

“Not alone! I’ll lend you a hand instead. Between the two of us, all it’ll take is a direct hit straight on their “base” or whatever ya call it, and they’ll never know what hit ‘em!”

“Hm… I suppose it is worth a try. Especially if it will finally wipe the last of those despicable Crystal Gems and their wretched leader out of existence once and for all.”

“Yeah, sure, that’s absolutely what it’ll do. So, what are we waiting for? Let’s give those chumps a real blast from the past…”

“Thanks for coming over and helping me with my spring cleaning, you guys!” Steven grinned down to Dipper, Mabel, and Connie from his spot up on the loft. The kids had spent the better half of their morning sorting through Steven’s belongings to help him decide what to keep and what to throw away or donate. A rather mundane task compared to what they usually tended to get up to, but a surprisingly enjoyable one all the same. 

“I think you mean summer cleaning, Steven,” Connie chuckled as she neatly folded up a shirt. 

“...Huh… yeah, I guess I do!”

“Not that any of this stuff even needs cleaning,” Mabel said as she carried a box of various nick nacks up onto the loft. “I wish I could keep all my Crying Breakfast Friends merch as organized as you do, Steven!”

“So do I,” Dipper remarked to Connie more than Mabel. “Especially since her “merch” usually ends up on my side of the attic.”

“Well, Pearl once told me ‘the cleaner the room, the happier the human’, so I--oh no!” Steven stopped short with a sudden gasp as he lifted one of his several stuffed animals. “MC Bear-Bear! You’ve got a tear-tear!”

“Not MC Bear-Bear!” Mabel exclaimed just as dramatically as Steven showed off the relatively tiny tear under the bear’s armpit. “He was too young! Too pure!”

“It’s a stuffed bear, Mabel,” Dipper deadpanned. 

“A beautiful bear with so much to live for!”

“I should have been more careful,” Steven added onto the round of laments. “We’ve lost too many good bears this way. Well don’t worry,” he said to the bear as he held it close. “You’re hurt, but I’ll look after you.” With this, the young Gem planted a gentle kiss on the bear’s head, and as a result, his healing spit swiftly did its jobs, magically mending the tear back together until it looked like it had never even happened at all. 

“Huh, well that’s one way to patch up a tear,” Dipper noted, genuinely impressed. 

“Yeah! Way to go, Steven!” Mabel cheered. “Ya know, I have more than a few stuffed animals of my own that are due for the ol’ ‘Magical Healing Kiss’ treatment too… if you’re up for it, ‘Dr. Universe’.”

Strangely though, Steven didn’t answer as his focus was still on MC Bear-Bear, his expression much more thoughtful and serious than it had been a moment prior. His silence wasn’t lost on the others as Connie spoke up to address it. “Uh… are you ok? You sure are staring MC Bear-Bear down pretty hard there…”

“Huh?” Steven blinked, looking between his three friends before turning back to the bear once more. “Well… I was just thinking… We’ve done a lot this summer--saved the town, the whole world, even, but… there’s still something we haven’t done… Guys,” his tone was earnest as he glanced up, resolved. “We haven’t helped any of the corrupted Gems…”

Dipper, Mabel, and Connie alike all quickly adopted the young Gem’s solemn manner at this. “No, I… I guess we haven’t,” Connie admitted with a frown. 

“To be fair, we have been pretty busy,” Dipper countered. “Besides, it’s not like anybody really even knows how to-”

“I know how!” Steven interjected, raising his hand. “I-I mean, if my healing powers can fix up humans and Gems and even MC Bear-Bear, then I don’t see why they wouldn’t work on corrupted Gems too, right?”

“You really think it could?” Mabel asked, curious. “Cause if you’re right then that’s a lot of monsters you’re gonna have to smooch…”

“Which sounds… sort of dangerous,” Connie noted worriedly. “Maybe you should try a test run first?”

“That’s a great idea!” Steven hopped up from his bed just as the temple doors slid open just in time. “Guys!” he called, tripping over the side of the loft, only to land squarely on the couch between Dipper and Connie. That hardly stopped him however, as he rushed over to the Gems as the others followed not too far behind. 

“Hey, what’s up, little Ste-cup--and amigos?” Amethyst asked, offering the kids a casual grin. 

“Guys! I used my healing spit to fix a rip on MC Bear-Bear!” Steven proclaimed, holding the stuffed animal up for them to see. 

“Oh, uh… that’s… nice?” Pearl said an uncertain smile, though clearly she wasn’t sure what the cause for the young Gem’s excitement was. 

“Good job,” Garnet smiled, sending him a thumbs up. 

“That all you wanted to tell us?” Amethyst asked, crossing her arms. 

“Not even close!” Steven continued. “What I really wanted to tell you is that we were all talking and, well… we wanted to see if we could try-”

“No,” Garnet staunchly cut him off. 

“Uh… Steven didn’t even ask you anything yet,” Dipper pointed out, confused. 

“And even if he had, it was gonna be something you should totally say yes to, by the way!” Mabel added enthusiastically. 

Yet even so, Garnet shook her head. “With my future vision, I can see that you’re going to ask me if you can try healing one of the monsters in the bubble room.”

“So… that’s a no then?” Connie inferred. 

“Can you see if we can get you to change your mind?” Steven ventured, offering the Gem leader a pleading smile. Soon enough it was one that Mabel, Connie, and Dipper all picked up in turn, each of them eager to assist the young Gem in his altruistic plan, even if it was a rather risky one. And though Garnet seemed to hold her ground at first, against all four of the kids hopeful smiles at once, she ultimately found she was no match whatsoever. 

“Why did you agree to this?” Pearl asked Garnet as they all filed into the temple’s bubble room moments later. 

“I lost a battle of wills,” the Gem leader said plainly. 

“So, who are we healing up first?” Mabel asked, eagerly running into the room as she pointed out a handful of bubbled Gems. “Ooo, what about this one? Oh! Or we could try her, I bet she’ll be a ton of fun when she isn’t corrupted anymore!”

Despite these spirited suggestions, however, Steven already had his sights set on one bubbled Gem in particular. With a floating leap, he was easily able to catch the bubble and bring it down to its level, looking over it with a small, hopeful smile. “And gotcha!”

“Hey, isn’t that…?”

“Yeah,” Steven answered Dipper’s unfinished question with a sincere nod. “It’s Centipeetle. If I can help any of them, I want to help her first.”

“Oh, isn’t she that monster we fought at the beginning of the summer?” Connie asked, intrigued. 

“Yeah, but also she totally saved us from turning into dino-chow,” Amethyst pointed out. “Oh, speaking of chow, don’t forget about these!” She summoned her whip to pull down another bubble, one that had been hanging next to Centipeetle’s with a familiar bag of chips in it. 

“Chaaaaps!” Steven exclaimed excitedly as he unbubbled the snack. “They’re her favorite! Okay,” he said, taking in a deep, determined breath as he looked to the others. “Everybody ready?”

Garnet nodded, giving him the go-ahead while Amethyst and Pearl braced themselves, stepping protectively in front of Dipper, Mabel, and Connie just in case. With everyone in place, Steven gently popped the pink bubble, allowing Centipeetle’s spherical gemstone to hover free from it, glowing all the while as the monster began to take its form. 

“Come on, dude, do your thing!” Amethyst encouraged eagerly. 

“You’ve got this, Steven!” Dipper added just as supportively. 

“Put that sparkly spit of yours to the test!” Mabel chimed in with a bright cheer. 

“B-but be careful about it!” Pearl advised anxiously. 

Amidst all this, Steven landed a hearty, wet lick across his hand and, just as Centipeetle’s monstrous body was starting to fully take shape, he placed that hand squarely on her gemstone. The stone sparkled radiently, Steven’s healing magic flowing through it as Centipeetle’s silhouetted form shifted completely. Her long, mandibled body grew smaller, much more humanoid as her many tiny legs became a single pair of normally-proportioned arms and legs each. By the time her transformation was seemingly complete, Centipeetle collapsed to the ground, resting on her hands and knees as everyone else started at the incredible change she had just undergone in dumbfounded awe. 

“I-is it working?” Pearl dared to ask, catching the apparently healed Gem’s attention. 

However, as she suddenly turned around, it was clear to see that Centipeetle hadn’t been as healed as she might have seemed. She retained her thick mane of white hair, as well as the singular eye that was her gemstone, but just below that was a smaller version of the fanged beak she had when she was fully monstrous. In addition, she had kept a few other insect-like features, namely her pinchered abdomen protruding from behind her, but other than that, she looked decently healed. Physically speaking, at least as she let out a loud, unintelligible shriek of alarm. 

“Boy, did it ever work!” Mabel grinned, sharing Steven’s immediate excitement over Centipeetle’s strange new form. 

“What? No, it didn’t,” Dipper noted incredulously. 

“I mean, it sort of worked…?” Connie said with a diffident shrug. “She isn’t completely a monster anymore, but…”

“Centi! You’re back!” Steven filled the awkward bout of silence that followed this in. Despite the whispered warnings both Amethyst and Pearl sent his way, the young Gem hurried forward to greet the former monster, chips in hand, though he quickly stopped as soon as Centipeetle met him with a harsh, sudden hiss. “Whoa! What’s the matter?” he frowned, approaching her much more carefully as she cowered away from him. “You want some Chaaaps?”

“Uh… I don’t think she remembers them…” Amethyst spoke up as Centipeetle let out another angry squawk. 

“Forget the chips then,” Steven pushed the bubbled bag of Chaaaps back up into the air as he addressed Centipeetle patiently. “You remember me, don’t you?” Though she didn’t react as fiercely to this, Centipeetle still tilted her head in confusion as her singular eye stared him down unknowingly. “I… have a bad feeling this didn’t work how I wanted it to work…”

“You think?” Dipper said, crossing his arms. 

“Aw, well… at least you still tried,” Connie smiled sympathetically. “And hey, something’s better than nothing, right?”

“I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” Mabel placed her hands on her hips. “I think Centi looks better than ever!”

“Better… but not all the way better,” Steven said, taking another step toward the confused semi-corrupted Gem. 

“W-wait! Don’t go closer!” Pearl cautioned nervously. 

“Maybe she just needs a little extra love!” Steven suggested, refusing to give up so easily. Fortunately, Centipeetle didn’t lash out to attack him as he leaned in to plant another brief kiss on her gemstone. However, it did little to heal her as she instead reeled back, closing her eye tightly as she covered it with both hands, growling in both pain and annoyance all the while. “Oops! S-sorry…” Steven let out a small, anxious chuckle as he reached out to help Centipeetle back up. 

“Hm…” Garnet mused as she watched Steven and Cenitpeedle’s interactions from afar. “This is the best we’ve ever seen it work.”

“But it didn’t work,” Pearl countered. “I guess it’ll take more than a kiss to heal damage from the Diamonds…”

“But why?” Steven turned to the Gems with a fretful frown. “My healing powers have been working great lately. I-I should be able to do this.”

“It’s alright, Steven,” Pearl reassured earnestly. “Remember, she’s not cracked; she’s corrupted, and that’s something different, something nearly… impossible to describe. U-unless it’s by a Gem who’s actually been through it.”

“But, ya know, most of the Gems who have…” Amethyst nodded up at the countless bubbled Gems above them. “Aren’t really doing a ton of describing these days…”

“It’s sort of like… if MC Bear-Bear didn’t just tear the fabric of his arm,” Garnet explained as accurately as she could. “But the fabric of his mind.”

“Whoa…” Mabel gaped, mistified by such a deep explanation. 

“That’s… kind of horrifying,” Dipper shuddered, unnerved. 

“I guess it’s times like these when being a human really has its perks,” Connie said offhandedly. “At least something like that couldn’t happen to any of us.”

Garnet adjusted her shades upon hearing this, her future vision nearly catching a glimpse of something, though it flashed by far too fast for her to really make anything of. So instead, she shook her head to clear it before addressing the apprehensive young Gem once more. “Steven, I’m impressed with your ability to bring the Centipeetle this far, but it’s time to let her rest again. Amethyst-”

“Uh, sure,” the purple Gem shrugged, summoning her whip again. “I’ll poof her.”

“W-wait!” Steven protested, hurrying to shield Centipeetle as she curiously looked over her new form through a reflection on the wall. “She’s not a monster anymore!”

“Here,” Garnet pulled Steven close, pressing his face against her as she extended a hand out to the other kids as well. “You don’t have to watch. Same goes for the rest of you kids.”

Though Mabel was really the only one to take her up on that offer, Steven suddenly pushed himself away from the Gem leader to rush back over to Centipeetle. “No, please! She can walk, a-and talk! Just like you guys!” Surprisingly, Centipeetle chimed in with a contented squeak, her maw forming something that almost seemed like a smile as she turned back to face Steven. “See?”

“Aw, how can you guys say no to that face?” Mabel said, sending the Gems the same pleading look Steven was. 

“Yeah, she doesn’t really seem like she’s that dangerous anymore…” Dipper agreed. 

“Definitely not as dangerous as she was the day the four of us met,” Connie said with a small, fond chuckle. 

“See? Centi was the one who brought us together in the first place,” Steven said, motioning between himself, Connie, Dipper, and Mabel. “M-maybe she wasn’t the nicest back then, but she’s our friend now! I helped her--we helped her this much; maybe we can help her more. We have to try, I made a promise! Please?”

The Gems exchanged an uneasy glance at this, none of them too keen on the idea of letting a corrupted Gem, even a semi-corrupted one like Centipeetle, simply run around unrestrained, especially around the kids. And yet, even despite her strange form and unpredictable behavior, for the most part Cenitpeedle seemed much calmer and more civilized than she had been before, even if she was still rather skittish and couldn’t quite communicate in anything other than squawks and hisses. But what really broke through their hesitancy was the kids, all four of whom were staring up at them pleadingly in their shared resolve to do whatever they could to help Centipeetle even more than they already had. 

So the Gems let out a unified relenting groan as they lost a second battle of wills, much to the kids’ mixed relief and excitement. Still, that didn’t mean that the Gems didn’t have any dissention toward this newfound haphazard arrangement. “S-so what are we going to do with her?” Pearl asked, wincing as she stole another glance over at the semi-corrupted Gem. “Let her move in?”

“Aw, yeah!” Amethyst cheered, in favor of the idea. “Corrupted roommate!”

“Oh, Amethyst, be sensitive,” the white Gem rolled her eyes. 

“Oo! She could stay down at the shack!” Mabel suggested enthusiastically. 

“Wait, what?” Dipper looked at his sister incredulously. 

“Yeah! I bet Mr. Pines will love having Centi as a house guest!” Steven readily agreed. 

“I bet he won’t,” Dipper interjected once more. 

“That’s what makes it funny,” Amethyst chuckled, amused. 

“Well… it’s better than her staying here, I suppose…” Pearl muttered, aside. 

“Wherever she stays, whether it’s here or at the Mystery Shack,” Garnet spoke up, evenly catching all four of the kids’ attention. “You kids need to be careful with her. She can stay unbubbled, but you must understand: some Gems are beyond our help.”

While the kids didn’t exactly have much of a plan to help completely cure Centipeetle of her corruption, they were still largely optimistic that they could all the same. Though the Gems still had some reservations, Steven managed to convince them to allow the semi-corrupted Gems to accompany him and the other kids down to the Mystery Shack. And though she was certainly much more tame than the animalistic way she’d been before, it was clear that Centipeetle still wasn’t exactly used to being out and about as the kids did their best to coax her out of the house alone. 

“It’s ok, Centi,” Steven urged patiently as he held the door open for her. “We’re just gonna take a nice walk down to the Mystery Shack. How does that sound?”

Centipeetle let out an uncertain chirp at this as she lingered behind the doorway, nervously peering out from it. Her curiosity soon turned to terror, however, as a sudden breeze happened to blow by, tousling the semi-corrupted Gem’s hair and catching her off guard completely. She stumbled back, eventually falling to the floor as she shrieked in alarm, even as the gentle wind started to die down outside. 

“Whoa, hey! It’s ok!” Connie hurried to the Centipeetle’s side to calm her down. “That was just the wind. It’s nothing to be afraid of, even if it’s something you can’t see.” 

Centipeetle eased up at this, clumsily picking herself back up to stand as she attempted to venture outside once more. This time when the wind blew by her, however, she cowered much less than she had before as she actually managed to step out to join the others on the porch. “Yeah! Way to go, Centi!” Mabel cheered, though her excitement was completely lost on Centipeetle as she shrunk back in fear once more. 

“Mabel, not so loud!” Dipper chastised. “You’re scaring her.”

“Oops! Sorry! I meant--way to go, Centi!” Mabel tried again, this time in a cheery whisper.

“Ok, Centi--Oh,” Steven stopped short as he led the way down the stairs. “I guess that’s not really your name. What should we call you?” Centipeetle answered in a series of unintelligible chirps, one that left all four of the kids staring at her, dumbfounded. “Oh, right, can’t talk…” Steven rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“Maybe we could try to guess your name,” Mabel suggested. “What about… Lindsay?” 

“Mabel, that’s not a Gem name,” Dipper said flatly as Centipeetle shook her head. “It’d probably be something more like… Oh, I dunno, she’s green, so… Emerald?” 

Once again, Centipeetle made a face, obviously not a fan of that name either. “Well, there are plenty of green gemstones out there,” Connie noted. “I picked up a book on different gemstone types awhile back for… reasons. So, off the top of my head, I can think of… Jade, Tourmaline-”

“Peridot, but we’ve already got one of those!” Mabel chimed in. 

“Demantoid, Aventurine, Nephrite-” Centipeetle suddenly cut off Connie’s list with a loud squeal, which she paired with hopping up and down on the balls of her feet as soon as she reached the bottom of the stairs. The kids exchanged a curious look at this, none of them really knowing what to make of it until Steven spoke up. 

“Well, that can’t be it,” he frowned, not noticing Centipeetle’s disgruntled sigh. “We’ll just stick with Centi for now, ok? Just like we did before. Do you remember any of that?” he asked Centipeetle with a hopeful smile. “That time you saved me from a crow, or how you took on that pterodactyl baby, or how we helped the Gems electrocute--uh, actually, do forget that one.”

Centipeetle tilted her head in confusion, though her singular eye suddenly shot wide with alarm as she stumbled back into the porch staircase. The kids didn’t understand where this newfound bout of fear was coming from until she pointed a shaking hand past them to the animal that was peacefully grazing several feet away. “Oh, that’s only a deer,” Dipper explained to Centipeetle. “Don’t worry; it won’t hurt you. In fact, it’s more likely to run away from you than do anything else, see?” Sure enough, by now the deer had noticed the group standing nearby and had taken off, bounding back into the woods it had come from. By now, Centipeetle’s fear had turned into intrigue as she attempted following the deer, only to stop short as she stumbled across something else that caught her eye instead. 

“Whatcha got there, Centi?” Steven asked, walking over to where the semi-corrupted Gem had knelt down. She chirped brightly as she pointed out a patch of pink wildflowers, apparently fascinated by them as she turned back toward them. “Oh! Those are some really pretty flowers! Here, hold tight for just a second.” Centipeetle continued to curiously watch as Steven picked a few of the flowers, tying them together into a simple, yet fashionable crown, which he proceeded to place on the semi-corrupted Gem’s head. “Tada! It’s for you! Do you like it?” 

Centipeetle did seem to enjoy the flower crown as she cooed happily, though she kept trying to really look up at it to no avail. “Oh, you wanna see how you look?” Mabel inferred, grabbing her hand. “Well, c’mon! You can check out your fab new style right here.” She led Centipeetle over to the nearby stream, allowing her to get a full and proper view of how the flower crown looked on her. The semi-corrupted Gem managed a satisfied smile as she looked at her reflection, though that reflection was soon broken by the small fish that happened to briefly jump out of the water. Centipeetle flinched, afraid, as she fell back into the grass, her flower crown landing right beside her. “Aw, Centi! No need to freak out!” Mabel chuckled as she repositioned the flower crown on her head. “That was just a cute little fish! It can’t hurt you. Well, unless we’re talking about some of the big boys out in the ocean, cause something like a shark isn’t exactly the kind of fish you wanna-” She stopped short upon meeting Centipeetle’s nervous expression once more. “Uh… you know what? Never mind.”

“Boy,” Connie grinned as the semi-corrupted Gem peered back into the stream for another look. “She sure is curious, huh?”

“She must not have gotten to see a whole lot of the Earth before she was corrupted…” Steven frowned sympathetically. 

“Speaking of which, I’ve been thinking,” Dipper interjected. “If we really want to help her uncorrupt completely, then maybe what we need to do first is figure out how she was corrupted in the first place and work from there.”

“Didn’t Pearl say something about ‘damage from the Diamonds’?” Connie mused. “What kind of damage could they have done to cause something like… well, what happened to her?”

Centipeetle turned at this, though she quickly froze, her eye going wide as she stared at something beyond the kids gathered before her. A piercing, downright terrified screech escaped her, catching the others completely off guard as they all turned their attention back to her. “What’s the matter?” Steven asked, placing a gentle hand against her arm, which was trembling every bit as much as the rest of her body. “Are you ok? A-are you remembering something?”

Centipeetle reacted harshly, clutching her head tightly as she closed her eye, screaming all the while. She somehow managed to get back to her feet, looking to the sky once again as she finally pointed a shaking finger at what had her so scared to begin with. 

Despite the summer skies being crystal clear, a large, bright golden star had seemed to take up a place within them. It shined brightly, clashing with the familiar blue atmosphere, and while the mere sight of it outright horrified Centipeetle, the kids largely had no idea what the cause for alarm really was at all. “Uh… what is that?” Dipper asked, somewhat unnerved. 

“Maybe it’s like one of those jet plane thingies you always see in the sky super early in the morning?” Mabel suggested. “Only the pilot on this one woke up way later than he should have.”

“That doesn’t look like any jet I’ve ever seen, even from a distance,” Connie shook her head. 

Steven, meanwhile, was largely distracted by Centipeetle, who was looking around in just about every direction, seemingly trying to find some way to escape. “Whoa, Centi, i-it’s alright,” he advised, grabbing her hand. “You don’t have anything to be afraid of when you’re with us!” The semi-corrupted monster was hardy listening however, as she looked back to the “star” once more. It flashed brightly, but briefly, and that alone was to throw her already palpable alarm into an all-out panic. With a manic screech, she pulled her hand out of Steven’s and took off, running off into the forest as fast as her newly-reformed legs would carry her. “W-wait!” the young Gem called, intending on running after her until Connie reigned him back in. 

“Uh, S-steven?” she grabbed his arm, directing his attention up to the “star” once more. By now it was practically burning yellow in the sky, yet it hadn’t moved, hadn’t done much at all until it suddenly dialated dramatically. 

And then, before anyone had any time to say or do anything else, it exploded. 

A bright, blinding golden light flooded the entire area, spreading out far and wide across all of Gravity Falls at a supersonic speed. It overtook nearly everything, from the temple to the shack to the forest to downtown, even as far as the lake and the outlying countryside, all centralized solely on the tiny timberwood town itself. In its wake it covered everyone, humans, Gems, and magical or mythical creatures alike (though only one group among those three would emerge from it unscathed). And as it shined upon them all, if its overpowering, devastating radiance hadn’t momentarily defeated them, they might have heard the briefest bout of twisted laughter, accompanied by a single voice raised in vengeful song. 

And just as quickly as the light had come, it was over. It faded, leaving the sky crisp and clear and blue once again. Slowly, nature reawakened after being so sharply silenced as gentle birdsong filled in the late morning air once more. That quiet din was what first roused Steven, who sat up slowly, placing a careful hand against his now-aching head as he did. And yet, before he could even really get his bearings back, the first thing he happened to notice was that his hair strangely didn’t feel much like hair at all. Rather, it had a much softer, lighter texture, almost akin to flower petals, which made the fact that his fingers were seemingly much sharper than he knew they should have been all the more bewildering. Confused as he was, he tried to stand, though as soon as he got to his feet, he received a sudden, involuntary boost into the air. Briefly, he thought he’d accidentally activated his floating powers, until he happened to notice the series of sturdy green vines that were somehow propping him up. 

“Huh?” Steven frowned, glancing back only to see that the vines didn’t just seem to be coming from behind him, but from him. They sprouted from his back, and a few of the more thorny ones had twisted themselves around his arms and legs, though those thorns didn’t dig into his skin, which was an odd shade of pale pink. “W-what is all this…?” he wondered to himself, briefly glancing up from himself to look around. The first thing he realized was that Centipeetle was nowhere to be found, having run off into the woods just moments prior, a thought that worried Steven far more than his current peculiar condition did. “Oh no! Centi!” he gasped, alarmed as he searched for any sign of her. “Where are-”

“Ugh… Steven…?” The young Gem immediately stopped short as soon as he heard Dipper’s voice somewhere nearby. Despite his attempts at turning around, the vines suddenly did so for him as they somehow moved on their own accord. Still, Steven ignored how startling the vines, the thorns, and even the surprisingly sharp claws he now had were, in favor of checking on the others instead. 

“Dipper! Are you ok--Ohhhhh my gosh!” Steven’s jaw dropped in shock as soon as he actually looked at Dipper, who had just started to partially pull himself up off the ground. 

As he did, however, he clearly noticed something was off, particularly about the texture and shape of his nose and ears. “W-what is…” Dipper trailed off as he tried to properly sit up, only to not receive the sort of usual feedback he would have expected from his legs. “Why… why can’t I-” He cut himself off with a sharp, frightened gasp as soon as he so much as caught sight of the lower half of his body. Because by all accounts, it looked identical to that of a deer’s, complete with not just two, but four long, lithe, thin legs, brown fur spotted with specks of white on his back, and even a tiny tail that was currently twitching out of immense agitation. As he fully took in this inexplicable shift, Dipper let out a tight, terrified cry that didn’t sound exactly human, though he didn’t seem to care as he gripped his front set of legs to confirm that they were, in fact, actually his. “W-what’s going on?!” 

“Whoa, Dipper!” Steven exclaimed in equal awe as he leaned forward as much as the vines would allow. “You’re like… some kind of deer-centaur! A deertaur!”

“Ok, two things,” Dipper said crossly amidst trying to position his new, rather awkward set of legs to stand. “One, I’m pretty sure that’s not what this is called and two... WHAT? WHY? HOW? What happened to me?! What happened to you?! What’s with all the vines? Why does your hair look like a bouquet?”

“It does…?” Steven frowned, reaching up to thumb one of the “petals” that now apparently made up his hair. “Huh.”

“Seriously, what happened?” Dipper reiterated as he made his first real attempt at standing up. And yet, as unused to his strange new form as he was, balancing on his feet, or hooves, rather, proved to be quite a challenge as he unsteadily wobbled before ultimately falling right back to the ground clumsily. “And why a deer?!” he let out a small, frustrated huff through his now pert, black nose. “It’s not even like they’re even my favorite animal or anything! This makes no sense!”

“W-well, if it’s any consolation,” Steven began with a small, reassuring smile. “You do look pretty cute like this.”

Dipper flinched at this, but said nothing in response as he crossed his arms and glared away, blushing, at least until he picked up on something else. “Hey, wait a second, where’s-”

“Oy, what smells like fish…?” Mabel suddenly spoke up as she finally started to wake up herself. She let out a long yawn, not noticing the dumbfounded looks Steven and Dipper were both sending her way as they realized she’d also gone through an unnatural transformation. For her own part, however, it took Mabel a moment or two to register that transformation as she sat up and stared directly at the scaly pink finned tail that had taken the place of her legs. “Huh… Well that’s new,” she noted, glancing over her now-webbed hands before balking at her tail again with a huge gasp. “OH MY GOSH!” she practically screamed, stars in her eyes as she hugged her tail excitedly. “I’m a mer-ACK!” Mabel sucked in another sharp gasp, an involuntary one this time as her breathing grew short and shallow, her eyes widening in panic as she gripped her throat frantically. 

“Mabel!” Steven and Dipper both exclaimed in concerned alarm. On impulse, Dipper rushed to get up to help her, completely forgetting about the current state of his legs until he inevitably ended up tripping and faceplanting right back into the grass again. He didn’t let that stop him however, as he prepared to try again, he happened to catch sight of something Mabel apparently hadn’t as she haphazardly threw off her sweater so she could breathe easier. “Gills…” he gasped in realization. “She has gills! She can’t breathe! Steven, she needs water! B-but I can’t-”

“I’m on it!” Steven readily agreed, his vines moving in accordance with him this time. It was almost as if they knew exactly what he was thinking as they kept him propped up, essentially “walking” him over to Mabel, who was still gasping and choking on air that wouldn’t do anything for her now. While Steven tried to help her himself, the vines did that for him too as their tips gently coiled around her arms before they swiftly pulled her into the nearby creek, submerging her completely. 

Both Steven and Dipper waited for an anxious beat for Mabel to emerge from the relatively shallow water, though when she did, she let out a rejuvenated sigh of relief as she perched herself against the side of the creek. “Ah! Much better!” she grinned happily, splashing more water against the small pink gills on her neck. “Guess I just needed to wet my whistle! So, whaaaaaaaaaaaaa-?!” By now, Mabel finally noticed just what had happened to Dipper and Steven, and as soon as she did, a huge, delighted smile broke out across her face. “Ohhhhhh, Steven! Dipper! You guys look so adorable!”

“Uh, thanks?” Steven chuckled. 

“Ugh, this is just gonna keep getting more and more embarrassing, isn’t it?” Dipper scoffed, dryly. 

“Embarrassing? Bro-bro, what are you talking about? This is amazing!” Mabel proclaimed, flopping back into the creek behind her so she could admire her tail fins noce more. “Check it out! I’m totally a mermaid! Oh, if only Mermando was still here! We could be the cutest mer-couple ever, and have mer-babies, and live in a mer-castle under the sea! And sing mer-songs all day!”

“Yeesh,” Dipper rolled his eyes at his sister’s flights of fantasy. “You would enjoy this, Mabel.”

“Hey, has anyone seen Connie?” Steven asked, glancing around in newfound concern. “I haven’t seen her since all this happened. Do you think maybe she could have gone after Centi when she ran off?”

“What are you talking about, Steven? I’ve been here this whole time!”

Steven, Mabel, and Dipper alike all froze up at this, each of them looking around for Connie upon hearing her voice, only to find no sign of her anywhere. That is, until she happened to reappear out of nowhere right in front of Steven. All three of the other kids let out a startled round of alarm at this, though Connie didn’t share it as she let out a small sigh of relief instead. 

“Ah, finally you guys can actually see and hear me!” she exclaimed as she hovered up into the air a bit. “I’ve been trying to talk to you for the past several minutes, but it’s like you all just kept staring right through me!”

“Aw, sorry, Connie!” Steven apologized earnestly. “We didn’t mean to! But I couldn’t see you until now, much less hear you!”

“C-Connie?” Dipper spoke up, trembling slightly until he caught himself doing so. “A-are you… I-I… I don’t know how to say this, but… I-I think you might be-”

“Oh! A ghost!” Mabel guessed bluntly. “I got it right, didn’t I?”

“What? A ghost?” Connie shook her head incredulously. For her part, she largely looked the same as she always did, though like Mabel, her legs had been traded in for a tail, albeit one that wasn’t anywhere near as fish-like. But even beyond that, she had taken on a pale blue parlor, her entire body being more or less completely translucent as it radiated with a dull, unearthly sort of glow. That, paired with the fact that she was able to float above the ground freely, added up to far too much evidence for anything else to really be true, as much as Connie wished something else was. “Oh my gosh, I-I think you guys are right! I-I really am a ghost! B-but why? And how--wait, no, I don’t even want to think about how! A-anyway, w-what happened to you guys? To all of us?!”

“I think I know what happened,” Mabel said as she pushed herself up out of the stream a bit. 

“Really?” Dipper asked, skeptical as Steven began to use his vines to help him properly stand. “You know what happened to us when none of the rest of us do?”

“Of course, I do,” Mabel grinned proudly. “We all got turned into totally awesome magical creatures! I mean, think about it: I’m a super sparkly mermaid (with a tail in my favorite shade of pink, might I add!). Connie’s a really cool ghost why can fly and turn invisible-”

“I don’t know if I’d call either of those things ‘cool’ in this instance…” Connie frowned as she accidentally phased her intangible hands into each other. 

“Steven’s, uh… w-well he’s some sort of flower… guy… person… thing…” Mabel ventured, uncertain. “B-but that’s awesome, since pink is totally your color.”

“Oh, you think so?” Steven grinned, looking down at his light pink arm with a newfound sense of fondness. 

“And Dipper is a super cute deertaur!”

“Again, I’m 100% positive that’s not what it’s called,” Dipper spoke up as he stomped one of his hooves down in annoyance. “Also, would everyone please stop calling me cute?!”

“Maybe once you stop being cute,” Mabel chuckled with a teasing smirk. 

“Which will be never!” Steven added much more earnestly. 

“Ugh, look,” Dipper began, addressing the enthused pair evenly. “I don’t know if you guys realize this, but this is serious. We just got turned into monsters, or magical creatures, or whatever, completely out of the blue. Something like this doesn’t just happen, not even here in Gravity Falls. Something caused this, and we need to figure out what it was so we can find a way to undo it and get all of us back to normal.”

“Aw, but I like being a magical mermaid!” Mabel pouted. 

“Do you like not being able to breathe outside of the water?” Dipper countered flatly.

Mabel flinched, recalling the frightening experience she’d just been through moments ago, an experience she certainly wasn’t keen on going through again anytime soon. “I… see your point.”

“Maybe that star had something to do with it…” Connie mused, looking up to the now-empty sky. “It was the last thing any of us saw before we woke up like this, right?”

“Oh, yeah,” Steven agreed as his vines formed something of a seat for him to recline on. “Oh, thanks!” he said to the vines themselves before returning to the matter at hand. “Plus, Centi seemed to be really scared of that star. She might even know what it was! Maybe if we can find her, then she can-”

A sudden thunderous clamor cut through the conversation like a knife, a clamor that came from the temple, to be precise. The chaotic noise only amplified as the front door burst open and, as opposed to any of the Gems, what seemed to be a monster jumped outside instead. It wasn’t very large, though it was just a bit bigger than the kids, with a purple, bulky four-legged form and a full, thick mane of lighter lavender hair. It unleashed what sounded like a wild howl as it pounced off the porch, its clawed front arms allowing it a square landing on the ground. It didn’t seem to have any eyes, with a set of bright purple horns in place of where they would have been, but it still managed to spot the kids gathered just a bit down the hill from it. The monster’s toothy maw split into an expression that was almost akin to a grin as it made an animalistic sound that sounded a bit like a laugh, though it was still completely unintelligible. Its apparent excitement prompted it to stampede toward the group at a rapid pace, much to their shared alarm,, and at least in two cases, outright fear. 

While Mabel and Steven simply gasped in surprise as the monster rushed for them, Connie completely disappeared into thin air, not even making a single sound or uttering so much as a word as she did. Dipper, on the other hand, froze up, his eyes wide but his expression otherwise largely vacant and unreadable. And as the monster drew even closer, he suddenly took off, somehow completely capable of using his new legs, which he couldn’t even properly stand on mere moments ago, galloping at full speed into the nearby woods. Mabel let out a startled cry as she watched him easily leap over the stream she was sitting in before he disappeared into the forest just before the monster could arrive.

“Wait! Dipper!” she called, frustrated by her inability to get out of the water to go after him. Both her and Steven were met with an all-new concern, however, as the monster suddenly slammed down right in front of them, focusing on the young Gem in particular as it reared low with a small growl. 

“S-Stay back!” Steven warned, summoning his shield to ward off the beast. The monster leapt at him anyway, however, barreling into him and knocking him to the ground, even despite his vines trying to keep him upright. The young Gem braced himself for a vicious attack as his shield disappeared, yet instead, he was met with a sudden, wet lick from the beast’s large tongue. “Huh?” Steven frowned, looking back up to the monster, who still had him pinned down, but was now panting happily. Though he was already confused, his bewilderment only grew tenfold as he happened to notice the very familiar purple gemstone resting on the monster’s chest amidst her unruly tufts of hair. “Wait… A-Amethyst?!”

The beast nodded vigorously, finally stepping away from the young Gem as her long, messy tail wagged excitedly. While his vines picked him back up above the ground once more, Steven exchanged an uncertain glance with Mabel before he looked to who he could only assume had to be Amethyst once more. “D-Did… you shapeshift to look like this?” 

Amethyst shook her head, apparently unable to properly speak. She turned her attention back up to the temple, where another monster seemed to be stomping out, though it was much easier to discern the identity of this one from its appearance alone. 

“Garnet?!” Mabel and Steven exclaimed in shock as the creature the Gem leader had turned into jumped down from the porch to join them. There was no mistaking her, namely because of her pair of heads, one of which bore semblance to Ruby in coloration, though the only feature of her face was a fanged maw, while her other head was clearly Sapphire with her singular eye and long blue hair. The rest of her body was much more akin to Garnet herself, though quite twisted, her arms massive and muscular as they reached down as long as her much shorter legs did, her huge clawed hands acting more as her main form of transportation as she slowly lumbered forward. She towered high over Amethyst and the kids, letting out a low, inhuman groan that almost seemed to be a greeting, though despite her admittedly mangled appearance, she seemed just as calm as she always was. 

“Garnet… Amethyst...” Steven looked between the monstrous pair, quite shaken. “W-what happened to you? And… where’s Pearl?”

This question was met with a sharp, high pitched squeak from above as a large shadow briefly covered up the sun. That shadow had been cast by a large, majestic bird-like creature, one that nervously touched down to join Garnet and Amethyst. There was no question this was Pearl, from the tell-tell gemstone on her now-eyeless head, resting just above the long, pointed beak she now bore. Her form was sleek and graceful, with a thin, curved, swan-like neck, wide, sweeping peach and white feathered wings and a set of long, narrow legs that carried the same spiraled design as her spears. Pearl let out another unintelligible shriek, one of apparent surprise as she caught sight of Steven and Mabel, her wings flapping anxiously, at least until she heard Amethyst’s amused gruff cackle beside her. The white Gem shrieked shrilly at her in annoyance, though she merely kept on “laughing”, at least until Garnet silenced them both with a heavy, commanding grunt. 

“No way…” Steven shook his head incredulously. “I-it really is you guys! A-are… are you… corrupted?” 

All three of the Gems reacted to such a claim in shock, Pearl fiercely shaking her head as Amethyst tilted her head, confused. Garnet remained still and silent, though after a moment of thought, both of her contrasting heads finally nodded, much to the shock of her teammates. An argument of various squawks, roars, and groans erupted at this as the Gems “communicated” with each other, though neither Steven nor Mabel could even hope to make out what they were trying to say. 

“This is so weird…” Mabel frowned, leaning against the creekbank. “Aren’t corrupted Gems supposed to be all wild and crazy? Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl are just… acting like themselves.”

“Maybe they’re not entirely corrupted?” Connie purposed as she suddenly reappeared, catching Steven and Mabel off guard. “O-oh! Sorry! I really gotta learn how to control this whole randomly disappearing thing better…”

“But… why do they still look like monsters?” Steven wondered, catching the attention of his guardians. “I know you guys can’t really… talk right now, but… you can still understand what we’re saying right?” All three of the Gems nodded, though what little their malformed expressions alone could convey told they were just as baffled and concerned as the kids themselves were. “So… you’re all basically half-corrupted then… just like Centi! Man, I really wish she hadn’t run off earlier; she’d be so much in figuring all this out!”

“Speaking of running off…” Mabel said, turning back toward the forest. “It’s ok, bro-bro, everything’s cool! You can come out now! There’s nothing to be afraid of out here.”

“I-I wasn’t afraid!” Dipper protested as he peeked out from the tree he had taken refuge behind. “I-it was just really loud and a lot of things were happening at once and I… might have panicked. J-just a little!”

“Well, deer do have a reputation for having a pretty sharp flight response whenever they get startled, so that might explain it,” Connie pointed out. 

“Ugh, great…” Dipper sighed as he fully emerged from the forest. “Just another reason to find a way to get us all back to normal as soon as possible. Especially for you guys,” he said, flinching as he looked to the Gems in particular. “You three look--uh… y-you look great!” he played off whatever he was going to say with a nervous laugh. The Gems didn’t quite buy it however as Amethyst teasingly stuck her tongue out while Pearl squawked, apparently flustered as she nudged one of her wings with her beak. 

“Wait a minute,” Connie interjected. “If that star, or whatever it was, somehow transformed all of us, then… maybe we weren’t the only ones affected by it…”

Everyone else took pause at this alarming thought, especially as they all happened to look down the hill toward the Mystery Shack. As they did, Dipper and Mabel in particular exchanged a nervous glance as they both considered exactly who else could be going through the exact same thing they currently were experiencing. “You don’t think…?”

Unsure of what they’d find, once the group of monster-turned kids and externally-corrupted Gems arrived at the Mystery Shack, Connie volunteered to head in first since she could more or less slip in unseen to scope things out. The only problem that arose with this came from Amethyst, who suddenly, impulsively decided to join her right as she floated toward the gift shop door. Connie stopped just as Amethyst rammed into the door horns-first, easily breaking down as she stormed in, eager to find Stan and show him her new form, much to the alarm of everyone else outside. Pearl let out a frantic squeal as Garnet slammed one of her heavy hands to the ground in an attempt to reel Amethyst back in, though the purple Gem, rowdy as ever, hardly paid them any mind. Likewise, the kids also watched with concern as she rushed inside, ensuing a chaotic clamor almost immediately as she haphazardly crashed into several display cases and quickly catching Stan’s attention, just as she’d intended. 

“Augh!” the conman shouted furiously from inside. “What in the--wait, Amethyst?! N-no, no, no, no! You better not--” He was cut off by another huge crash, one that promoted Pearl and Garnet into action while the kids stood by just a bit past the door. 

“Oh man, I wish we could see what’s going on in there!” Mabel exclaimed, leaning out of the small swimming pool Steven and Dipper were filling up for her. “I bet Grunkle Stan is totally freaking out!”

“Uh… I don’t know if that’s entirely accurate…” Connie frowned as she peered into the shack just as Amethyst scurried out of it, laughing all the while. Likewise, Garnet and Pearl both stumbled back themselves as Stan tried to burst out of the shack, revealing that, much like the kids, he’d gone through a rather monstrous transformation himself. 

By all accounts, it seemed as though the conman’s skin had turned to moving stone based on its rough, gray texture. Beyond that, both his fingers and his tones bore sharp, talon-like claws as he sported a small set of stony horns just above his now acutely pointed ears. But his two most notable new features were his eyes, which seemed to shine a bright, almost ominous kind of yellow, and the wide set of pointed wings on his back, which were currently caught on the doorframe, essentially holding him in place as he angrily tried chasing after Amethyst. “Ugh, again? Seriously?” the conman growled in annoyance as he somehow managed to retract his wings in a bit. “I’m already sick of these stupid things. And as for you, Amethyst, I--aye, yi, yi…” Stan trailed off, shock overtaking his expression as he noticed Pearl and Garnet’s changed forms too. “Yeesh, and I thought I had it bad between the new wings and the horns. You three look terrible!”

Pearl let out a harsh, offended hiss at this, though Garnet didn’t really respond. Amethyst however, let out a teasing roar, one that Stan didn’t seem to follow at all. “Uh… what, are you guys done speakin’ English or do you just expect me to understand ‘monsterese’ now?” he asked dryly. 

“Uh, actually, Mr. Pines,” Steven spoke up. “They can’t really… ‘talk’ right now…”

At this, Stan stole a glance over at the kids, only to balk in bewilderment at each of them in turn. “W-wha… what the heck happened to you kids?!” he asked, stepping over toward them. “Dipper--or Steven, I don’t care who since either of you if not both is usually behind anything wacky or magical happening around here--explain. Now.”

“We would if we actually understood what happened to begin with,” Dipper replied, crossing his arms.

“Well you better figure it out!” Stan snapped, irritated. “Cause I don’t know how you expect me to send you runts home to your parents with you looking half like a deer while your sister’s flopping around like a fish outta water.”

“Aw, it doesn’t sound anywhere near as magical and cool when you put being a mermaid like that…” Mabel cringed as she popped her head out of the water after refilling her gills. 

“You won’t have to send us home looking like this,” Dipper countered, resolved. “Because we’re going to find a way to undo all of this and get everyone back to normal.”

“Yeah!” Steven, Mabel, and Connie all chimed in support of this plan. 

“Oh really? That’s awesome, dudes!” Soos exclaimed as he stepped outside of the shack. Upon a first glance, he seemed to look just as he always did with no peculiar transformation in sight, at least until a piece of his arm quite literally melted right off. 

“Uh… Soos?” Steven spoke up, all four of the kids looking to the handyman in immense concern. 

“Oops,” Soos scooped up the strangely mouldable clump of his arm and easily slapped it back on as if it had never fallen off to begin with. “I’ll tell ya what, being made of clay may seem like it has its perks, but it’s starting to get way less cool the more times a chunk of me randomly melts off…”

“Could you at least stop melting all over the shack?” Stan asked dryly. “The last thing I wanna do is clean up bits of Soos off the floor.”

“Sorry, Mr. Pines,” Soos apologized as he smoothed up the side of his cheek before any clay could drip off of it. “I guess clay and a hot summer day aren’t a great mix…”

“Ugh, consider yourself lucky, man,” Wendy spoke up as she came out of the shack herself. “At least you’re not covered in fur…” 

“Whoa, Wendy!” Mabel exclaimed in fascination as Dipper, Steven, and Connie looked to the cashier in shock. “Are you-”

“A werewolf? Ugh, yeah, I guess,” Wendy rolled her eyes as she absently scratched behind one of her now rather dog-like ears. Sure enough, her entire body was covered in thick red fur to match her hair color, and alongside that she bore a bit of a snout with a wolfish nose and plenty of sharp, fanged teeth to match the sizable claws on her hands and feet. Yet despite her rather canine appearance, she was still perfectly able to walk upright, which was apparent enough as she leaned against the side of the shack, annoyed. “All those movies with the hot shirtless werewolves totally oversold this, by the way. The real deal totally sucks between being hot and itchy all the time. So if you guys are dead set on getting us all back to normal, then more power to you.”

“Don’t worry, we will,” Connie assured, though her confident smile quickly fell. “If only we knew where to start…”

“Maybe Great Uncle Ford can help,” Dipper suggested. “After filling up three whole journals, it’s safe to assume he is the resident expert on magical creatures around here. Where is he anyway?”

“Ugh, please don’t get me started on Ford and all those stupid riddles he’s been throwing around since this whole mess startled,” Stan huffed crossly. 

“Riddles?” Steven asked, confused. 

“Precisely, my boy,” Ford interjected as he rounded the far corner of the shack. For his part, his appearance had taken on something of a lion-eque motiff, with golden-brown fur, a long, thin tail, large (but still six-fingered) paws, and even a rather feline nose. But what set that motiff apart were his wings, just as wide as his brother’s, though bright and colorful and feathered instead of grey and stony. He only briefly regarded the Gems and the kids’ changes in appearance, seemingly not alarmed by them at all as he continued just as calmly. “For instance, what do you call a creature that’s steeped in ancient Greek and Egyptian mythology and has a penchant for presenting all who cross its path with puzzling riddles?” 

“Annoying?” Stan ventured, sending his brother a bored look. 

“No, Stanley,” Ford countered flatly. “A sphinx. Which seems to be what I’ve turned into. Maybe you’ll have an easier time figuring this one out: what’s the term for a creature that’s made of animated stone and also happens to be what you’ve become?”

“I’m sticking with my first answer and saying annoying,” the conman reiterated, glaring back at his unwanted set of wings. 

“A gargoyle, Stanley, a gargoyle,” the author huffed, exasperated. “Come on, that one wasn’t even hard at all.” 

“Yeesh, if you’re gonna be a wisecracking know-it-all, then can’t you just get to the point about it?” Stan rolled his eyes. “Do you have to keep at with all these pointless riddles?”

“...Yes,” Ford said bluntly before turning to the kids. “Anyway, children, do you know what a living, human-like being made of an earthen material such as mud, rocks, or in this case, clay,” he nodded over at Soos. “Is called?” The kids exchanged an uncertain glance at this, though it wasn’t long before the author filled in with an answer to his own riddle once more. “A golem. A clay golem in this particular instance, I believe.”

“Oooohhh so that’s what I am,” Soos mused, fascinated. “And I was just gonna keep calling myself “Soos: Clay Edition” but a golem sounds way cooler.”

“Furthermore,” Ford posed another riddle. “A creature with the arms, head, and torso of a human, but the body and legs of a deer is called a…?”

“A deertaur!” Steven and Mabel both chimed in with an enthusiastic answer. 

“Ugh, for the last time, you guys, that’s not what it’s called!” Dipper protested, his tail flickering in aggravation. 

“You’re absolutely right, Dipper, that’s not what it’s called,” Ford pointed out with a knowing grin. “You’re actually a cervitaur.”

“Eh, that doesn’t have nearly the same ring to it…” Mabel said, looking to her brother dubiously. “Grunkle Ford, can you do me next!”

“Mabel,” Dipper cut in, shaking his head. “We already know you’re a-”

“A creature that’s half girl and half fish would be known as…?”

“A mermaid!” Mabel immediately guessed. “I know because I am one! Right now!”

“Correct,” Ford nodded, pleased. “Now… hm… this one is a bit trickier. A physical spirit tied to… well, traditionally trees, but I suppose just about any form of flora works, as is the case with Steven here, so that would make him a…?”

“Uh… Mabel guessed flower guy earlier so, I’ll go with that?” Steven suggested, though he really had no idea himself. 

“Actually, my boy, you’re what’s known as a dryad,” Ford corrected. “Or more accurately, the male form of a dryad, a drus. A rose drus, from the looks of it…”

“...It had to be roses, didn’t it?” Steven muttered to himself as he rubbed his thorn, covered arm apprehensively. 

“Now, rounding things off, a creature that’s wolf-like in appearance, but-”

“It’s a werewolf,” Wendy interrupted boredly. “Already figured that out as soon as I realized I had a tail, man, it’s not that hard.”

“Ah,” Ford said somewhat awkwardly before continuing. “Then how about an immaterial spector that’s-”

“A ghost,” Connie readily filled the answer. “Sorry, Mr. Ford. We… kind of already figured that one out too.”

“...Very well then,” the author noted as he glanced over at the Gems. “As for you three, I… can’t quite seem to think of anything-”

“Oh, thank god,” Stan said, breathing a sigh of relief. 

“Are… are they… corrupted?” Ford asked the kids in particular. 

“Sort of?” Steven shrugged. “They’re still themselves though, right, you guys?” The Gems let out a variety of unintelligible answers at this, but all of them seemed to confirm this to be true. 

“Fascinating…” Ford adjusted his glasses as he looked over each of the Gems’ semi-corrupted forms. “All of this is just so… fascinating! I could fill up an entire journal alone with all of the scientific discoveries to be found here! And while I’m on that note, another riddle! What’s-”

“No!” Stan quickly cut him off, leaping forward with a powerful flap of his wings to practically tackle Ford to the ground. “You are not asking another one of your dumb riddles on my watch!”

“...Well, you could have just asked, Stanley,” Ford huffed, pushing his brother off him. “You didn’t need to be so extreme about it.”

“Oh, hey!” Steven cut in, pointing to a familiar van driving toward the shack. “Looks like Dad’s on his way here!”

Sure enough, Greg’s van pulled up to a sudden stop in front of the group gathered outside the shack, with the former rock star poking his head out the window frantically. “Steven!” he exclaimed, startled by what had happened to both his son and the others. Greg himself had also undergone a rather alarming transformation, as he was seemingly wrapped in browning bandages from head to toe, with what little skin showing between those bandages looking drastically pale and almost lifeless. Yet he hardly seemed to care much for his own appearance as he threw the van door open to check on his son and the others instead. At least until one of his bandages got caught up in the door as he slammed it shut. “Aw, not again!” he huffed, pulling the bandage out before hurrying over to Steven. “L-look at you!” he exclaimed, practically having to look up at his son thanks to the vines still holding him aloft. “Are you ok? Is everyone ok?”

“Yeah, we’re all fine,” Steven nodded. 

“E-even the Gems…?” Greg asked, sending them a worried look. 

“Yeah, they’re ok too,” the young Gem mustered a small smile. 

“Ah! Here we go!” Ford piped up with a brand-new riddle. “What would you call an undead creature typically wrapped in cloth bandages to try and preserve the decaying body?”

“U-undead?!” Greg balked, glancing down at himself fearfully. 

“Join the club…” Connie spoke up as she hovered nearby. 

“A mummy! Greg’s a mummy! Geez!” Stan swiftly answered, shoving his brother out of aggravation. “What did I say about the riddles?!”

“Oh, honestly, Stanley! You don’t have to be such a brute!” Ford took a swing at the conman with his claws, only for them to hit solid stone instead.

“And you don’t have to be such a pain!” Stan countered, utilizing his wings to gain the literal upper hand over the author before he could lash out again. Ford didn’t let him get away that easily as he also managed to take flight, and soon enough both brothers were engaged in a midair chase that everyone briefly stopped to watch before returning to the matter at hand. 

“So yeah, like Steven said, we’re all doin’ pretty good,” Soos reiterated obliviously. 

“I-I can’t believe this whole monster thing happened to all of you guys too!” Greg exclaimed, running a hand through the hair that was sticking out from under the bandages. 

“What do you mean ‘too’?” Dipper asked, confused. 

“Haven’t you seen the news?” Greg asked, incredulously. 

“Oh, yeah,” Wendy spoke up as she pulled the latest town news report up on her phone before holding it up for everyone to see. “Check it out.”

“This just in,” Shandra Jimenez, who seemed to have been turned into a harpy, reported urgently. “Monster madness has taken over Gravity Falls! Residents all over town have reported being suddenly transformed into magical or mythical creatures.” Sure enough, the accompanying footage proved this to be true as every citizen shown seemed to be some sort of monster or cryptid or creature, each in some varying level of surprise or panic over their new forms. “The cause for this town-wide transformation is still unknown, but experts believe the large flash of bright light that encompassed the entire area earlier today might have had something to do with it. For now, residents are advised to continue on with business as usual until some sort of cure can be found. We’ll be back with more details at 5, but for now, I’m Shandra Jimenez, and it’s time for my hourly preening session.” With a loud squawk, the anchor signed off to pick at the feathered wings that had taken the place of her arms and putting an end to the news briefing in the process. 

“T-this is happening to the entire town?!” Dipper asked in disbelief. All four of the kids exchanged a startled glance at this as they realized this problem was much more widespread and far more serious than they first thought. Which, of course, would only make finding an elusive solution for it much more difficult than they had originally hoped. 

“Yeah, it is, and somebody better do something about it! Soon.” 

“No way…” Dipper gasped as he was the first to notice who was emerging, or rather slithering out of the nearby forest. “Pacifica?!”

Like all of the others, Pacifica’s appearance had drastically changed, primarily by the way of her legs being replaced by a long, light gold, snake-like tail. That reptilian theming continued with her hair, which was no longer really hair at all but a horde of snakes, each of them alive and autonomous as they moved about on their own accord. The heiress-turned-gorgon clearly cared little for her own snakes as she pushed the unruly reptiles back as they hissed and maneuvered about freely. Yet her frustration quickly fizzled into shock as she spotted the group of various creatures and monsters in front of the shack, though she focused most of her concern on her boyfriend in particular. 

“Oh my gosh!” Pacifica exclaimed, clumsily slithering over to her as Dipper tried to meet her halfway every bit as awkwardly on his still rather unsteady legs. “D-Dipper, you… look-”

“Please don’t say adorable,” Dipper interrupted, deadpan. 

“...I was gonna say like a deer, but…” Pacifica couldn’t help but crack a small smile at this, revealing her new set of sharp fangs. “You definitely look better off than I do right now…”

“What? N-no!” Dipper countered, trying to reassure her as best he could as he suppressed a nervous cringe as one of her snakes drew in a bit too close to him for comfort. “You, uh… you look…”

“Don’t lie,” the heiress warned coldly. 

“...S-snakes,” Dipper finished, unable to really say much else as he realized he was slightly trembling again. 

“Yeah, snakes,” Pacifica scowled, reigning her snakes back again as several of them started crowding around Dipper, their almost hungry stares making him quite uncomfortable. “Please tell me you’re working on a way of undoing this whole mess…”

“Of course, we are,” he said, suppressing his sudden anxiety as he took her hands to comfort her. “We’ll figure something out, I promise.”

“AW!” Mabel suddenly gushed from her pool. “Even like this, you guys are still the CUTEST couple ever! What I wouldn’t give to have my camera on me! Though then again, maybe it’s better that I don’t… I don’t think it’s waterproof…” 

“Oh, come on, really?” Pacifica asked in disbelief as she glanced over at Mabel. “You got turned into a mermaid? I wish I could have been that lucky…”

“Tell me about it,” Connie sighed as she suddenly materialized right beside the heiress, startling both her and her snakes in the process. 

“Ok, everyone,” Dipper addressed the others, outside of Stan and Ford who were still engrossed in their petty brawl above. “Let’s get back on track. We need to start looking for some way to get all of us back to-” A high, loud screech abruptly cut him off as it echoed through the air, though it didn’t take long for everyone to discover the source of the noise as it came from above. Stan and Ford’s ongoing argument was only briefly interrupted by the arrival of a winged creature that suddenly blazed right past them both. That blue, jellyfish-esque creature was apparently holding something with its thin set of lengthy tentacles, a much smaller, bright green, six legged spider-like monster. While a pair of such peculiar creatures would have normally been cause for alarm, as the jellyfish gently set the spider down on the ground before coming to hover just above it, it soon became very apparent to just about everyone exactly who these creatures, or partially corrupted Gems really were. 

“Wait a second…” Steven said, focusing on the familiar gemstones on each of the monsters. “Isn’t that-”

“Oh my gosh! Peri!” Mabel practically squealed with delight at the spider-like form Peridot had taken on. “You look so CUTE! You’re like an itsy-bitsy Gem spider! If I could get out of this pool, you better believe I’d be giving you the biggest hug right now!”

Peridot let out a flustered hiss at this, her large, dark eyes narrowing in apparently frustration and embarrassment as she stomped her two front, disjointed legs down in annoyance. An apparent testament that the green Gem still retained her annoyance at being referred to as small, even in her now largely-corrupted form. 

At the same time, Dipper was completely caught off guard as the jellyfish creature suddenly flew over to him, remaining completely silent as several of its long tendrils reached out toward him. Immediately, his relatively new panicky instincts washed over him as he froze up, staring at the monster with stark, fearful, yet quiet alarm. The creature quickly noticed this and drew back a bit, seemingly confused and concerned, though it was still unable to make so much as a sound to convey either of those things. 

“Uh, Dipper?” Steven placed a steadying hand on his shoulder as his vines carried him over to him. “I… think that’s Lapis…”

At this, Dipper quickly snapped out of this forceful bout of shock, recognition filling his features as he spotted the teardrop shaped gemstone that was clearly visible through the jellyfish’s somewhat transparent blue body. “L-Lapis…?”

Lapis “nodded” as much as she could in her current form, slowly reaching her tendrils out once more so she could better see how Dipper had changed too. This time, he allowed her to, albeit a bit anxiously as one of her naturally wet tentacles found a gentle spot against the side of his face. “Uh… s-sorry,” he said, backing up a bit. “This is just… really weird…”

Though Lapis didn’t really respond to this, Peridot certainly did in a series of plaintiff hisses as she skittered around in apparent frustration. “Yeesh, even like this she’s still a loudmouth,” Pacifica noted to Connie and Mabel, aside, both of whom couldn’t help but agree. 

“So, you guys got corrupted--er, s-sort of corrupted too, huh?” Steven asked Lapis and Peridot, who both nodded in what almost seemed like resignation to this fact. The young Gem let out a small, fretful sigh as he took a moment to glance over the pair, as well as other Gems’ rather monstrous forms. Likewise, he took another moment to take stock of what had happened to his father, to Soos and Wendy and Pacifica, to Stan and Ford, to Mabel, Dipper, and Connie, and even to himself. For whatever reason, they had all undergone some kind of unknown, and in most cases unwanted, transformation, one that had disrupted their lives and left them all with more questions than answers as they tried to adapt to what had so suddenly happened to them, a plight that faced  the entire town and everyone in it, Gems and humans alike. And while Steven knew Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl weren’t particularly equipped to save Gravity Falls from such a plight as they usually would have, he figured that someone else would just have to step up and do exactly that in their stead. 

“All right, enough is enough,” Steven said, his tone stern and serious as he looked to Dipper, Mabel, and Connie. “We need to do something about this.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying this whole time,” Dipper huffed, his tail twitching in slight aggravation.

“I know…” Steven admitted as a few of his vines curled back in embarrassment. “B-but this time, let’s actually do it! We can find a way to undo this and get all of us, everyone--the whole town, back to the way they’re supposed to be, I know we can! So, are you guys up for another mystery?”

“You bet!” Mabel eagerly chimed, slapping her hand over Steven’s as he extended it to the others. “Mystery Kids!”

“Mystery Kids,” Connie agreed, hovering her hand over the others even though she couldn’t really touch them herself. 

Dipper sighed, though he did so with a warm, resolved smile as his hand joined the pile. “Mystery Kids.” He paused right after this, however, as he stole a glance over at Pacifica, who stood on the fringes of the group, glancing away awkwardly as even her snakes seemed to hang low and quiet. She started, however, as she caught sight of Dipper silently motioning her to join them. Considering her less than stellar history with the other members of the group, she hesitated, but she ultimately folded upon meeting her boyfriend’s soft, reassuring smile. 

“M-Mystery Kids…?” Pacifica ventured as she slithered over to the group and placed her hand atop theirs. Steven, Mabel, and Connie all offered her the same eager, welcoming smiles, which helped to set her at ease just as much as Dipper reaching up to lightly, supportively squeeze her hand did. 

With another daring cheer, the four--now five--Mystery Kids solidified their brazen mission to uncover the truth behind what had happened to Gravity Falls and find a way to solve it. A lofty, brazen goal to be sure, but one they felt largely equipped to handle; after all, they’d faced impossible odds like this more than a few times before. 

“Ok,” Dipper said as they all retracted their hands. “Let’s get started.”

“Good luck, dudes!” Soos encouraged with a bright wave, though his hand ended up melting off his wrist before it splattered onto the porch. “...Oops.”

“Uh, you guys might wanna hurry up on that,” Wendy noted as she watched the handyman reclaim his hand with a concerned frown. “I don’t know how much longer Soos can hold out with it being this hot out. Or how much longer I can hold out either for that matter…” she growled, scratching away at her own thick fur. 

“Wait, hold up,” Stan cut in as he finally came in for a landing, Ford following not too far behind him as their disagreement had reached a stalemate. “The entire town is cursed or something, and we’re just supposed to rely completely on you kids to get us all back to normal? N-not that I don’t trust you four, but you gotta admit you’re a little wet behind the ears. In some cases, literally,” he nodded over at Mabel. 

“Guilty as charged,” Mabel chuckled, showing off her now fin-like ears, which were, sure enough, soaking wet. 

“Stanley, don’t be so inconsiderate,” Ford scolded. “After all, who has accomplished impressive feats of discovery and problem solving through pooling their respective talents together on several occasions over the past few months alone?”

“We have!” Steven proudly proclaimed.

“Exactly,” the author nodded, ignoring his brother’s irritated glare over yet another riddle. 

“Well, you kids have definitely got my vote of confidence,” Greg soundly agreed amidst resecuring a loose bandage around his arm. 

“Thanks, Dad,” Steven grinned, leading the way toward the forest. He stopped short, however, in front of the Gems, all of whom, including Lapis and Peridot, regarded him affectionately as best as they could, even if they had to do so without using words. “Don’t worry, guys,” he assured them with a hopeful smile. “We’re gonna fix this, no matter what it takes. I promise.” Though none of the Gems could properly express it, their pride was clear through the round of various indiscernible, yet clearly happy cheers that rose up among them. Their warm support only gave a boost to the young Gem’s smile as he turned back to the other kids. “Ok, you guys ready to go--oh…” 

His question was answered before he even finished asking it, for while Connie was able to freely hover just about anywhere with few problems, Dipper and Pacifica were still quite unsteady on their hooves and tail respectively and Mabel was essentially confined to her tiny kiddie pool (which her long tail was actually halfway sticking out of). “Uh… right,” Steven let out a small laugh, realizing that the others didn’t have an autonomous set of vines to tote them around like he currently did. “We should probably figure this out first…”

The solution when it came to transportation was actually pretty simple, and a large part of that came down to Steven’s several sets of sturdy vines. As intangible as she was, Connie couldn’t really do much to help, but Steven hardly minded as he allowed both Dipper and Pacifica to cling onto a few of his vines, as well as each other, for support as they began to make their way through the woods. Mabel had been a bit tricker, but they’d eventually devised an idea upon finding an old pair of skateboards stored in the back of Greg’s van. It took a bit of doing (namely in getting Stan and Ford to cooperate long enough to work together to lift Mabel’s pool onto the boards) but eventually the pool itself was fully mobile and ready to be pulled along by a few more of Steven’s vines (of which he fortunately had plenty to spare). And just like that the small, but enthusiastic group set out on their daunting quest, though exactly how they were supposed to go about it still wasn’t exactly clear. 

“So… what are we out here looking for anyway?” Connie finally posed the question that all of the others had been thinking. 

“A way to get everyone back to normal,” Steven replied with a steady grin. 

“Ok, but like… how?” Pacifica asked, just as confused as Connie was. 

“Uh, well…” Dipper began, exchanging an uncertain glance with Steven. “We… don’t really know what we’re looking for exactly. To be honest, a lot of the times when we do this, we just tend to look around for a bit until a solution just sort of comes to us.” At that exact moment, the entire group came to a grinding halt as something, or rather, a certain semi-corrupted Gem to be exact, abruptly fell out of the canopy of trees just in front of them. “...Like that.”

“Centi!” Steven exclaimed as he reached a vine out toward the disoriented Gem to help her up. “You’re back! A-and… whoa, you look just like you did before!” Sure enough, Centipeetle hadn’t been transformed whatsoever like all of the other Gems had, for she still retained the same semi-corrupted appearance she’d had since Steven had tried to heal her. Likewise, she still seemed to have a rather skittish mindset as she cowered away from Steven, not seeming to recognize him or any of the others in their strange new forms. “Hey, i-its ok!” he said, pulling his vines back a bit so he couldn’t scare her any further. “It’s just me: Steven! I know I look a little different right now, but you don’t have to be scared, ok?”

Centipeetle eased up a bit at this, looking Steven up and down before calming down as she met his comforting smile. She let out a somewhat confused chirp as she walked over to him, and that confusion only seemed to grow as she looked over the other kids as well. 

“So this… “Centi” is a friend of yours?” Pacifica asked Dipper to gain a better sense of context. “Yikes, it looks like she got hit by this whole monster thing really hard…”

“Um, actually, she looked like that before any of this happened,” Dipper carefully pointed out. 

“...Oh,” Pacifica glanced away awkwardly. “My bad…”

“I don’t understand,” Connie spoke up as she flew closer to Centipeetle, who flinched away from her slightly. “I know she’s already partially corrupted, but why didn’t she fully turn back into a monster like the other Gems did?”

“Good question,” Steven said, watching as the semi-corrupted Gem sauntered past him. “You got hit by that light too, didn’t you, Centi? Do you have any ideas about what might have happened?”

Centipeetle didn’t respond as she was instead far more fascinated in the small pool Mabel was sitting in. Or rather, the pool that Mabel had completely submerged her entire head under for far more than just a few mere minutes now. 

“Oh my gosh, Mabel!” Dipper gasped, not hesitating to stumble over to her as fast as he could. Though her tail was hanging over the side of the tiny pool, the rest of her body lay face-up under the shallow water, her expression completely blank as she stared up at nothing at all as her gills “breathed” in the water surrounding her at a steady, synchronized pace. “Mabel!” Dipper reached into the water, grabbing her by the shoulder to rouse her from this bizarre trance. It worked as she gasped, darting up with a start and unintentionally splashing her brother in the process. 

“W-whoa!” she exclaimed, pressing a hand against her head. “Uh… sorry,” she offered Dipper an apologetic grin as she noticed he was now dripping wet. “Not sure what happened, I guess I sorta zoned out there. Oh hey! Centi’s back!”

“Ok, can we not backtrack here?” Pacifica asked, somewhat impatient. “We’re supposed to be finding a way to fix all this, remember?”

“Right,” Steven soundly agreed with a hopeful smile. “And I think Centi might just be the key to helping us figure that out.”

Centipeetle tilted her head, letting out a curious coo at this, yet a few of the other kids weren’t so convinced. “Uh… Steven? I know you still want to help her, and we do too, but… we sort of have bigger problems to deal with right now, don’t you think?” Dipper asked apprehensively. 

“But Centi was corrupted, just like the Gems sort of are now,” Steven pointed out. “And whatever corrupted them transformed the rest of the town too. So maybe whatever did that did this too!”

“But we still don’t know how corruption even happens to begin with,” Connie noted with a frown. 

“Maybe we don’t, but Centi might!” Steven turned back to the semi-corrupted Gem. “What do you say? Do you remember anything from before you--I-I mean… from long ago?”

Centipeetle took a moment to ponder this question before she answered it with a surprisingly enthusiastic nod. Likewise, she began to explain, albeit in her usual language of inhuman squeaks and squawks, none of which any of the kids could even begin to decipher. 

“Well, this isn’t gonna work,” Dipper remarked flatly. 

“Oh! I have an idea!” Mabel raised her hand. “If her memories are still in her head, we just gotta draw them out. Literally! Through the language… of ART!”

“...Or she could just write it all down,” Pacifica countered much less dramatically. 

“Yeah, that would probably be a little easier,” Connie nodded. 

“Now, if only we had some paper and a-” Steven stopped short as Dipper suddenly pulled both a notepad and a pen out of his vest. 

“I never leave home without them,” he said with a proud grin. “Especially since you never know what you’ll run into next around here. It never hurts to be prepared.”

“Dork,” Pacifica teased, lightly elbowing him, which he was more than happy to accept given the flirtatious nature of the gesture. 

“Ok, Centi, check this out,” Steven said, writing his name onto the first empty page of the notepad. “Ste-ven. That’s me! Can you do that?”

Centipeetle nodded, taking the pad as she began to scribble something down onto the page. When she was done and presented her work to the kids, however, the series of jagged, mangled lines she’d drawn didn’t bear semblance to any legible words at all. 

“...You know, maybe having her draw might not be such a bad idea after all…” Connie said somewhat fretfully. 

“Yes!” Mabel cheered. “Art always wins!”

“Ok then, let’s try this,” Steven sketched out a quick stick figure sketch of himself so Centipeetle would understand what they wanted her to do. “You can tell us whatever you want to through pictures! You try it.” 

Centipeetle reclaimed the pen and pad and began to do exactly that, sketching something out in record time before showing her work to the others. “That looks like… some kind of spaceship…” Connie inferred, hovering above as she glanced down at the Gem’s rough, yet understandable drawing. “Is that how you came to Earth?”

Centipeetle nodded, flipping the pad to a blank page as she started doodling something else. “Ooo, they look like you!” Mabel pointed toward the trio of stick figures that bore a passing semblance to the semi-corrupted Gem. “Centi, did you used to roll with a super cool crew back in the day?”

Centipeetle let out a happy chirp at this, pointing to herself with something of a proud smile. “You were a captain?!” Steven gasped, stars in his eyes. “That’s amazing! Sorry, I mean--that’s amazing, sir!” he chuckled with a playful salute before he happened to catch himself. “Oh, right, you guys don’t salute like that. It’s more like… this, right?” The young Gem awkwardly tried to cross his arms, though he couldn’t quite position them in any sort of comfortable manner. “Ow! Oh, this looked so easy when Peridot did it....” It didn’t take long for Centipeetle to catch onto what he was trying to do as she showed him the corrected cross-armed salute. “Oh yeah! Like that!” Steven nodded as the semi-corrupted Gem let out another noisy chirp before she resumed drawing out her tale once more. 

“Ok, so… you’re saluting someone…?” Dipper guessed as they all gathered closer to watch Centipeetle draw. “Is that your commander or something?” The semi-corrupted Gem nodded, pointing back to her drawings with another pointed squawk. ‘

“She gave you an order,” Connie continued inspecting the drawings. “And you and your crew got on your ships and--oh, lots of ships. Heading through space to… Earth.”

“You landed and started building stuff,” Steven mused as Centipeetle sketched out the start of Homeworld’s colonization of the planet. A colonization which soon turned to a violent conflict. “But then… the Gem war! You joined the fight…” Centipeetle’s drawings grew a bit more aggressive and hectic as her hand started to shake. She swiftly crossed out several of the Gems she had drawn, symbolizing their brutal ends that happened so long ago. “You and your crew kept going…” Steven faltered as Centipeetle suddenly ripped half of the page she was working on, tearing away her fellow crew members away from her. “You got seperated, but you were still fighting. Then, new orders from your commander… to retreat. Everyone’s running-” The sketches shifted to a massive crowd of Gem soldiers fleeing from some unknown, unseen threat. And among that crowd was Centipeetle, lost in the shuffle and hopelessly confused as to what was really going on. “But from what? You don’t know. Where’s your crew? Where’s your ship? You stopped.” Centipeetle froze in her drawing, captivated by the sky as a large star, three stars rather, appeared in it. “You heard something--from the sky, a sound. A song? And then…”

Centipeetle tore the last page away entirely to a completely blank one. She covered that empty page with her hand as tears started to slip out of her eye and splash down onto the paper, dampening it as she let out an agonized sob. “C-Centi?” Mabel spoke up, concerned. 

“That light…” Dipper began in dawning realization. “That’s the same light that hit the entire town! Where did it come from?”

Centipeetle whimpered once more but drew one last image upon the empty page: the familiar symbol of a trio of diamonds. “D-damage from the Diamonds…” Steven whispered, his eyes wide with alarm. 

“Uh… what does that mean?” Pacifica asked, largely out of the loop compared to the others. 

“It means… none of this makes sense…” Connie shook her head incredulously. “The light from the Diamonds corrupted Gems back then, but… it didn’t work on humans before… did it?”

“N-no, it… it only worked on Gems, like Centi…” Steven frowned, recalling what Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl had told him of corruption before. “But this time, it only affected the Gems’ bodies, not their minds like it did with all the others… And it did work on humans… So, what’s different now?”

“Bill,” Dipper said starkly, panic filling his expression as he recalled a very significant, very frightening recent revelation. “H-he’s working with the Diamonds now, o-or at least Yellow Diamond, remember? What if they teamed up to do this to us?!”

“B-but why would they-” Steven didn’t get a chance to finish his question as Centipeetle suddenly caught his attention. The semi-corrupted Gem was hacking horribly, acid spilling out from her beak-like maw as she abruptly collapsed to the ground. “Centi! Are you ok?!”

Centipeetle let out an anguished cry as light enveloped her arm, forcibly mutating it back into its previously short, insect-esque appendange. “W-what’s happening to her?!” Mabel asked, leaning out of her pool worriedly. 

“She’s reverting!” Steven exclaimed, alarmed. “Here, I’ll heal you again!” The young Gem hurried to do so, swiftly licking his hand and placing it against Centipeetle’s gemstone. She reacted harshly, however, her eye slamming shut as her arm glitched out, but ultimately stayed corrupted as the rest of her body began to do the same. “W-why isn’t it working?! How can I help you?!” 

All Centipeetle could respond with was a loud, piercing, pained screech, one that echoed through the forest and set off a series of varied responses in the process. As startled as she was, Connie was no longer able to keep herself visible as she abruptly disappeared into thin air once more, despite Steven’s desperate plea for her to stay. Likewise, as horrified as he already was by thoughts of Bill and the Diamonds and their twisted alliance, Dipper found he was completely helpless to resist his new flighty instincts overwhelming all sense of reason and logic as they prompted him to flee, running swiftly off into the forest, even as Mabel and Pacifica both tried and failed to reign him back in. 

And yet, Dipper and Connie weren’t the only ones to take off out of fear as Centipeetle started doing the same, distressed as she startled scrambling back through the woods herself. “E-everyone, wait!” Steven called, distraught as he realized things were only going from bad to worse. 

“W-what do we do?” Mabel asked, immensely concerned. 

“Uh… um…” Steven stammered, racing to come up with some sort of plan, which he surprisingly managed to do in record time. “Pacifica, can you go look for Dipper?”

“Um, yeah, I’ll try,” Pacifica agreed, more than willing to do so, even if she wasn’t entirely sure how far she’d be able to go on her difficult to maneuver tail. 

“Mabel, you… stay here.”

“Yeah, I… kinda can’t really do much else,” Mabel noted, pointing to her tail. “Oh! I know! I’ll see if I can get Connie to come back!”

“Great,” Steven nodded as his vines turned him around. “I’m gonna go after Centi. I’ll be back soon!”

“Good luck!” Mabel called after both Pacifica and Steven as they set off on their own respective missions. She paused a moment after they were gone, more than set to call after Connie in the hopes of getting her to appear. Yet just before she could, her own bizarre newfound instincts took over as she silently plunged herself back under the water of her pool, unable to really do anything else, even if she could have tried. 

Fortunately, it didn’t take long for Steven to catch up to Centipeetle given how surprisingly fast his vines could carry him. The semi-corrupted Gem had just broken through the edge of the forest, apparently heading back toward the temple, yet as Steven did the same, he was quite taken aback by what he saw happening at the Mystery Shack. 

The entire area was awash in chaos as it seemed as though almost everyone who had gathered there had also fallen victim to whatever instinctual impulses that came along with their new monstrous forms. Stan and Ford had apparently gotten into another brawl for whatever reason, though this one was much more violent and aggressive as they chased each other around the sky again. Wendy attempted to follow along on the ground, running on all fours as she growled almost ferally, and though she missed Centipeetle, she did notice Steven and tried chasing after him as well. The young Gem narrowly managed to avoid her using his floating powers to jump on top of his father’s van, though that hardly stopped the frantic scene on the ground below. Soos seemed to have tucked himself away inside the shack to avoid melting any further, and Greg was seemingly nowhere to be found, at least until Steven peeked into the back of the van to find his father sleeping soundly within it. 

“D-Dad!” Steven exclaimed, hurrying to his side, only to notice Greg’s arms were crossed squarely over his chest, much like a traditional mummy’s would have been. “Dad, wake up, please!” he shook his father’s shoulder to try and rouse him, though it didn’t do any good. “D-Dad…?”

A sudden screech quickly caught the distraught young Gem’s attention, one that came from Pearl, who he realized was standing right behind him alongside Garnet and Amethyst. While Lapis and Peridot had taken to the sidelines, unsure of what to do, the main trio of Gems had been doing their best to ease the mindless uproar between the others, though there wasn’t much they could really do with their forms as monstrous as they currently were. “G-guys, what… what’s going on?” Steven asked them, realizing they were much calmer than everyone else seemed to be. “Why’s everyone acting so weird?” 

Though she couldn’t really give a proper answer, Garnet replied in the form of a low grunt, nodding up toward the sky, or rather, toward where the apparent corrupting light had come from. “C-Corruption… yeah, we know,” Steven nodded, “We think it might have been Bill and the Diamonds this time, but they... “ He gasped as the newfound, horrific realization struck him. “They corrupted everyone’s bodies… but only the minds of the humans! That’s why they’re acting like this! W-we have to help them! B-but how?”

The Gems seemed to agree, though the only way they could really convey their idea to do so was to step aside so Steven could see Centipeetle, who was still frantically making her way up to the temple. “Centi?” the young Gem wondered anxiously. “D-do you think…?”

The Gems exchanged something of an uncertain glance but ultimately they agreed that the semi-corrupted Gem would be their best course of action right now. Something Steven couldn’t really argue with since he was largely out of ideas himself. “Right,” he nodded, his vines starting to pull him forward so he could follow her. “You guys stay here and keep everyone safe. I’m gonna find a way to fix all of this. I mean it this time.”

Even if they couldn’t exactly speak, the Gems still sent him off with a chorus of warm, proud well-wishes, voicing their firm belief in their young ward just as well as any words could have. Their faith did give Steven something of a confidence boost, but as he set off after Centipeetle he couldn’t help but feel quite worried all the same, especially now that the stakes seemed higher than ever before. What if he couldn’t find a way to return everyone to normal? What if his friends, his family, possibly even himself with time, were all eventually lost to their monstrous forms and mangled minds, just like previously corrupted Gems like Centipeetle had been centuries ago? 

These were all thoughts Steven could hardly bear to face, so he decided to embrace the opposite instead, the hope that he would find a solution. That he could fix this and save everyone, just as they were all counting on him to do, even if they didn’t even realize it. 

The young Gem burst into the house just moments after Centipeetle had, finding her propped up against the warp pad as she desperately tried using it. No teleporting light emerged from it however, much to the semi-corrupted Gem’s distress as her leg started glitching back into its previously corrupted appearance. “I-it’s not working because you’re corrupted,” Steven noted, hurrying over to her. “Where do you want to go? The battlefield you fought at? Your ship?”

Centipeetle squawked out an immediate response to this, though Steven still didn’t quite understand. “Is there something on the ship that can help you? That can help all of us?” The semi-corrupted Gem only screamed louder at this, slamming herself down onto the warp pad as she practically begged him to use it. “O-ok, just… hold on,” Steven said, grabbing her hand to calm her down. “I’ll get you there.”

Despite his own condition, fortunately Steven was still able to use the warp pad as usual. Its light enveloped them both, taking them to the very same abandoned Gem ship that Peridot had tried trapping them in what felt like ages ago now. As soon as she so much as spotted her ship, Centipeetle took off, running through the jungle as she called out for someone she only barely remembered. “Hey! Wait!” Steven ran after her, or rather his vines did, at least until Centipeetle suddenly stopped short. The corrupted Gem unleashed another agonized scream as she collapsed, clutching her head in pain as more traces of her monsterous form began to overtake her: her multiple tiny legs, her lengthy, multi-tiered body, her long, pincher-like snout. As this horrific, slow transformation continued, Steven briefly watched in frightened alarm, before he took the initiative, gently latching onto her with a few of his vines. “You want to get to the ship? Then let’s go.” As unable to walk as she was, Steven let his vines hoist Centipeetle up as she continued whimpering loudly, her form continuing to unsteadily shift as her mind tumbled into madness all the while. Yet despite her wild manner starting to flood her once more, she still somehow recognized Steven, still somehow trusted him to take her where she longed to be. And sure enough, that’s exactly what he did. 

The young Gem carefully set Centipeetle down just as all traces of her once human-like form gave way to her former corruption. She squeaked pitifully, acid dripping out of her maw as she looked to Steven almost pleadingly. He shuddered, wishing he could do so much more to help her, but for now, the most he could do was open the door to her abandoned ship and let her back inside of it for the first time in eons. 

Silently, Steven followed Centipeetle inside the derelict vessel, only to find that they weren’t alone. Two other creatures, identical to the corrupted Gem, had scaled its dusty walls and had taken up shop there, though as they noticed Centipeedle herself, they greeted her with cheerful chips of greet. “Other Centipeetles…?” Steven wondered, watching as his own corrupted companion scurried over to join the pair. “T-they’re your crew… aren’t they?” 

Centipeetle stopped short at this, turning back to Steven as she skittered over to him once more. He offered her a small, sad smile that was quick to fade as he looked between his corrupted friend and her crew. “I-I… I’m sorry….” he sighed morosely. “I wish there was more I could do to help you. T-to help everyone! All of the other corrupted Gems, and especially everyone back in Gravity Falls right now! They’re all in danger and I-I… I don’t know what to do to save them! My friends… e-everyone I know needs my help, a-and I… I can’t do anything for them…”

Tears started to well up in the young Gem’s eyes, yet before they could fall, a gentle, almost kindly chirp from Centipeetle caught his attention instead. The corrupted Gem pulled her lengthy form up a bit so she could gain some height over Steven, and then, in much of the same way he had done for her before, she delivered a soft “kiss” of sorts upon his forehead using the very tip of her beak. It wasn’t much, but in a strange way, it offered him exactly the sort of comfort he needed at a hopeless moment such as this. 

He mouthed her a silent ‘thank you’ as she turned again to join  her crew, all three corrupted Gems chirping warmly amongst each other as they reunited after centuries of painful separation. Steven stood by, watching them for a moment or two, his mind lingering on Centipeetle’s “kiss” all the while. And the longer he thought about the touching gesture, the more it made him think about how his own healing kiss had, at least in some way, truly worked to partially cure the corrupted Gem, even if it hadn’t really worked as well as he had hoped. Yet still, it had worked on some level all the same. Which made him start to wonder if it could possibly work when it came to another, newer kind of corruption instead. 

Steven wasn’t exactly sure what the result would be as he glanced over the back of his now-clawed hand, but as he looked to the vines sprouting from his back and thought about the pink petals that had overtaken his hair, he figured it was at least worth a try all the same. The moment he so much as skimmed the back of his hand with a gentle kiss, however, he found that everything went completely white and numb, until just as quickly, everything abruptly returned. 

Except plenty of things didn’t. Because instead of being involuntarily propped up on vines as he had been all day, the young Gem found himself sitting on the floor of the abandoned ship with not a single vine in sight. His skin had regained its usual pallor as opposed to the unnatural shade of pale pink it had become and his hands and hair, he found, were both just as normal as non-floral as they should have been. “I-I… I healed myself?!” he gasped, jumping to his feet, though he just as quickly collapsed to the ground. “O-oops, guess I gotta get used to walking around on my own again, b-but still, this is great!” He grinned brightly up at the trio of Centipeetles curiously watching him from above. “Thank you,” he said to Centi in particular. “I-I know my powers won’t work on you guys, but… maybe someday they will. And when they do, I’ll come back for you first, Centi, I promise.” Centi let out a bright, affectionate chip at this, one that Steven couldn’t help but return with a small, joyous laugh of his own. “B-but for now, I’ve gotta get back and see if I can help everyone else!”

Steven wasted no time in doing so, waving one final, fond farewell to Centi and her crew before he took off to return to town. And all the while, the trio of Centipeetles remained aboard their broken vessel, happy to be, if nothing else, together again, just as they had yearned for all that time apart. 

As soon as he warped himself back to the temple, Steven rushed out of it, running as fast as his admittedly sore legs could take him in place of having his vines tote him around. The chaos unfolding at the shack had hardly changed in the time that he’d been gone, withe Gems desperately trying and largely failing to reign the maddened humans among them back in. Still, as soon as they spotted Steven in his usual appearance, the Gems were all quick to hone in on him in rapt, excited, fervent attention. Still, despite the crowd, Steven steadily got to work, even if he did have a few doubts about whether or not his plan would really work at all. All the same, he started with Amethyst, landing a brief kiss against her muscled arm, one that, sure enough, enshrouded the purple Gem in light before reverting her form back to how it usually should have been. While grateful for Steven’s assistance, Amethyst did have the slightest complaints, namely that she had found her corrupted form to be rather fun and enjoyable, something Pearl readily disagreed with as soon as the young Gem healed her up next. Garnet was more than relieved to have her future vision back on hand as Steven healed her, and with her usual level-headedness, she got her teammates into action to round up the scattered humans while the young Gem healed Lapis and Peridot next. 

It had taken some doing, but between the three of them, the Gems had managed to round up Stan, Ford, and Wendy just as Steven finished off returning Greg and Soos to normal. The trio was still quite rowdy and untamed, which made approaching them a bit of a challenge for the young Gem, at least until Amethyst came up with the idea of a spray bottle on them. Miraculously, this managed to work as Steven mixed in a bit of his own healing spit into the water before the Gems spritzed the aggressive group with it, healing them in short order and leaving each of them quite embarrassed when they realized what had happened. 

With everyone at the shack healed up, Steven made it his immediate mission to find his scattered friends in the forest, a mission that the Gems were more than happy to join him on. Lapis took to the skies alongside Peridot to try and find any signs of Dipper (and Pacifica for that matter) while Steven and the others took to the ground to regroup with Mabel and hopefully Connie. They found the latter first, who had managed to reappear and nearly flew right into them while searching for the young Gem herself. As surprised as Connie was by how Steven had managed to heal everyone, they both found a unique challenge when he tried to do the same for her given her currently intangible form, one that he couldn’t seem to touch at all. That is, at least until Garnet suggested that they fuse. It was a bit awkward and difficult to do so, yet somehow, it worked, with Stevonnie taking on a partially physical form, though they did still hover above the ground while retaining something of a ghostly glow. Still, it was enough for the young Gem’s healing powers to work as they kissed their own arm, returning not just the fusion, but Connie herself back to normal once they warmly unfused. 

Since she was essentially unable to go anywhere else, Mabel had remained in her spot in her pool, staying under water the entire time so she could breath easier. Her expression was absolutely empty and she remained completely silent, even as Connie began propping her up out of the water so Steven could heal her. And as soon as he did, Mabel immediately snapped right back into her usual chatty self, even if she was a little disgruntled by her now wet skirt, socks, and shoes as she finally got out of the pool, able to walk on her own two returned legs once again. 

By then, Lapis and Peridot had returned with their report that they had spotted Dipper running off deeper into the forest. Not wanting to waste any time, Steven, Mabel, and Connie all raced to catch up with him, though when they found him, he wasn’t exactly alone. Pacifica had also managed to find him, though by now her newly predatory instincts had overtaken her as she cornered her frightened boyfriend as both her and her snakes prepared to take on their easy prey. This tense confrontation was put to a quick end as the other kids arrived to break it up, with the girls making use of the spray bottle on Pacifica while Steven managed to keep Dipper from slipping away again with a well-timed bubble so he could properly heal him. And as soon as the couple were both back in their right minds and usual bodies, they both soundly agreed to never speak of what had almost just transpired ever again. 

From there, healing the rest of the town from their monstrous plight was quite a daunting task for Steven and the others, though the spray bottle scheme did make doing so quite a bit easier. All it took was one spritz to each citizen-turned-creature and they were back to their usual fully-human forms. With the Gems and the Pines teaming up together to spread out through the town, it was only a matter of hours before every impacted resident had been healed (even if most of them had no idea exactly what the water that had done so actually contained). Still, the general consensus was a glad and grateful one amongst its citizens as Gravity Falls slowly but surely started getting back to normal (or at least as normal as the strange little town could be). 

“And that should be everyone,” Garnet noted, relying on her future vision to confirm that their mission was complete. While a handful of the others who had lended a hand had already headed back home, the kids and the Gems were the last to dole out healing to any remaining stragglers. And with the last few townsfolk healed and human again, the sun was just starting to set as the last of the group began to make their way back to the temple and the shack as well. “Good job, Steven.”

“Yeah! Magical healing powers for the win!” Mabel cheered as she ran alongside the young Gem. “Seriously, I’ve never missed having my legs this much!”

“And I’ve never missed having only two,” Dipper readily agreed with a sigh of relief. “Let’s just hope something like this never happens again. I don’t know if I can handle the whole “mindless deer panic” thing again.”

“Well, if it does ever happen again,” Connie spoke up, glancing over at Steven with a fond smile. “We know who we can count on to save the day next time, right?”

“Wrong,” Steven finally spoke up, his dejected expression more than apparent. “I couldn’t save everyone. You guys were right,” he looked up to the Gems. “I couldn’t help Centipeetle..”

“You brought the Centipeetle back to her ship,” Garnet said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You brought her back to her crew. They were waiting for her there. They didn’t want to leave her behind.”

“Wait…” Steven raised a confused eyebrow. “How did you know any of that?”

“She told us,” Garnet held up the previously discarded notepad Centi had sketched her story in. 

“Her drawings…?” Steven flipped through the book, perplexed. 

“Her writing,” the Gem leader corrected. 

“It’s actually decently legible!” Pearl pointed out the seemingly unintelligible scribbles Centi had written out. 

“Wow!” Steven grinned, glad that someone could make it out where they hadn’t been able to. “Um… did she mention anything about… the corrupting light?”

“Mm… no,” Pearl shook her head as she looked through the notepad. “Why do you ask?”

“Well…”

“Cause the light that turned everyone into monsters was totally the same thing!” Mabel interjected. “Or at least we think it was.”

“We also think Bill might have had something to do with it,” Dipper added disdainfully. “That’s why it actually worked on humans this time.”

The Gems exchanged a worried glance upon hearing this, none of them liking the idea of Bill and the Diamonds collaborating, especially on something like this, however plausible it might have been. Yet even so, they did manage to find a few holes in the kids’ theory all the same. “Uh, if it was corruption, then how was Steven able to heal us all up when he couldn’t do the same for your girl Centi?” Amethyst asked, confused. 

“I… don’t know,” Steven frowned, puzzled. “Maybe it just wasn’t as powerful this time? Even with Bill’s help?”

“Or maybe it was only one of the Diamonds instead of all three…” Garnet muttered quietly before Pearl quickly cut in. 

“W-well anyway, I suppose it doesn’t matter that much now that it’s all over and done with!” the white Gem exclaimed with a bit of a forced smile. 

“But… if Bill and the Diamonds can do something like this, then don’t you think we should be worried about what they’re planning next?” Dipper asked warily. 

“I-in the long term, yes…” Pearl ventured somewhat anxiously. “But for now-”

“For now, we won,” Garnet interjected. “Let’s celebrate that instead of worrying about what’s to come.”

Though Dipper let out something of a disgruntled sigh at this, the other kids largely agreed, especially Steven. Because just a few hours ago, he had thought he might have very well lost his friends and his family for good, to something that had been far out of anyone’s control. Yet now, through a miraculous turn of fate and a little of his own miraculous magic thrown in, here they all were, together and back to their normal selves again, just as they should have been. Well, almost all as they should have been. 

“Hey, Pearl?” Steven began, glancing down at the notepad once more. “Can you teach me how to write in Gem?”

“Oh, Steven, it’s very complicated,” Pearl said with a small smile. “And you won’t have much use for it.”

“Oh, I just want to know a few things like, ‘Hi, how are you?’, ‘Where’s the bathroom?’ and-” Steven stopped short as he flipped to the last drawing Centi had left behind, of the trio of diamonds representing the ones who had damaged her, and so many other innocent Gems in the process, seemingly beyond repair. Or at least it was for now, something that he could only hope to somehow change someday for Centi and her friends, just as he had for all of his. “And ‘I’m sorry’...”

Next:

[mikhalsarah]

The Emperor’s New Gender

How can you help a 3-year-old to stop misgendering family friends who are transwomen? She isn't trying to insult them deliberately, but just doesn't perceive them as women and won't remember being corrected the next time she sees them. -Quora

First of all, as per further information in the comments, this is not your child and it is NOT your place to be interfering in how this family handles the issue unless they have specifically ASKED for your advice. This is something for the offended friends and the parents to work out, and if you value your friendships you will back out of what isn’t your problem. The entire fact that you feel entitled to force your personal beliefs on other people’s children and intervene in their parenting and other social relationships is extremely disturbing. I suggest you get a good book on Co-dependence recovery.

Secondly, this is an “Emperor’s New Clothes” problem. There is NOTHING “wrong” with this toddler (who at 3 is actually a preschooler), so there is nothing the parents can do about it. You can’t fix what isn’t broken. This reminds me of medieval parents getting the idea in their heads that crawling was too animalistic and ungodly, and strapping their children to little roundabouts to force them to skip crawling and go right to “proper human” walking. Crawling is developmentally necessary for most children and they rarely skip over it, and their lower leg bones and muscles are not yet ready to bear their full weight, leading to possible bow-leggedness. You cannot force children to skip developmental stages because it offends people based on some ideology they have. It has consequences. It is grown-ups here who must accept the natural development of children however inconvenient it is. This is called ACTING LIKE AN ADULT.

This is a normal stage of neurological development. At a certain point in the developing brain it starts to categorize things as a means to understand them. The ability to understand who is biologically male and producing sperm and who is biologically female and producing ova is self-evidently crucial to the survival of every species on the planet that has sexual reproduction. Even for species that can literally morph from one sex to the other, it is still crucial to recognize which members of their species are in which sexual form, and to have that skill locked well down before puberty hits. Therefore that ability is hard-wired into us, just like our ability to acquire language is. This child has reached a stage where they can now identify key markers of biological sex in people’s body shapes (hip to waist ratio, shoulder to hip ratio) and faces (relative size and placement of eyes, nose and philtrum lengths, chin length and width etc) but they have no idea yet what “gender” is as a concept because their brain is not mature enough to entertain a concept that still confuses many adults, apparently.

Children are notorious for mis-gendering everyone, not just trans people. I was mis-gendered by two preschoolers yesterday when I appeared at work in a skirt instead of my typical jeans. There was even a story decades back in Reader’s Digest illustrating how they mix up and conflate sex and gender roles. It was submitted by a parent who allowed their 4 year old to go to JK wearing his sister’s barrettes, only to have the teacher overhear him arguing with another boy about whether he was a boy or a girl. The boy eventually became exasperated and pulled down his pants to show the other boy his penis to prove he was a boy, to which the other boy dismissively said, “Everyone has a penis, only girls wear barrettes.”

Here I will suggest that you also need some good books on child development and evolutionary biology.

This situation would not have been a problem even a few years ago, before “transsexual” was turned into a dirty word and transgender was foisted on us, instead. Once upon a time you could just tell a child that:

A) not everyone who is male or female fits neatly into the typical or average appearance for their sex (or behaviour, for that matter)

B) some people who are born into one sex are unhappy about it for reasons we don’t yet understand. They feel strongly that they are the other sex internally (in their mind/brain) and are much happier if everyone just lets them live as the sex they feel inside as much as possible, and they can have hormones and surgery to help them do so. Since most of those people don’t fully understand themselves until past puberty, they develop outwardly like their biological sex and it can take a lot of time and money to change that.

and

C) It’s impolite and unkind to make personal remarks, or to draw attention to physical features or other differences which people have no control over.

We don’t yet fully understand the biological working of things like gender development, gender identity, or sexual orientations, but there is more than enough evidence that they are “real” events with correlates in the material world. We know that people with conditions that are known to affect the structure and function of their temporal lobes are much more likely to be GLB (including sudden shifts in their sexual orientation after events like head injuries, strokes and seizures) and much more likely to identify as trans or otherwise not conforming to the gender binary (including again, sudden changes to their sense of self-identity in the wake of neurological events). Obviously the majority of people who are LGBT haven’t had a head injury, stroke or seizure, so being LGBT is not “caused by” those things, they’re just some of many things that can “flip the switch”; genetics, pre-natal hormone exposure, birth order, and developmental life experiences have all been tentatively cited as having a role to play.

*People on both the Right and Woke Left will be determined to misunderstand me here as saying that being GLB or T is evidence of a “sickness” of some sort…either agreeing and using this information as “proof” that it’s so or becoming angry at me for equating the two. So let’s just head off that nonsense at Go. ALL MANNER of changes can happen in the wake of neurological events in the temporal lobe or elsewhere. One man who had a head injury suddenly became a mathematical genius…do you think that’s evidence that being good at math is a “sickness”? One person finds they become more emotional, another less so (neither is a pathology unless taken to extremes that prevent the person functioning). Some people who develop Temporal Lobe Epilepsy suddenly take up writing or (less often) the visual arts. Is being a writer or artist a biological flaw? Obviously not. The linkage of any trait with an area of the brain is not evidence that the trait is pathological (it might be, it might not), it is merely evidence that one or more neurological substrates that control that trait resides in that particular part of the brain. As regards gender identity, it tells us that there is some part of our brains where sexual self-identity arises and therefore the person’s experience may be subjective (only they experience it, others cannot perceive it unless told of it) but is not imaginary.

In the past children gradually acquired the ability for more complex categorization and learned to differentiate between someone’s biological sex, their gender presentation (how closely they match others of their sex), and societal gender roles. Children are remarkably accepting of diversity and exceptions to rules when they are presented matter-of-factly. More so than adults who apparently can’t accept facts which don’t fit with their ideologies on the Left, any more than Evangelical Young-Earth Creationists on the Right can, and feel the need to tie themselves into mindless, slogan-droning intellectual pretzels as a result.

The fact that we now view even toddlers with suspicion of “transphobia” and seek to indoctrinate their natural neurological development out of them should be a GIANT F*ING RED FLAG that we are NOT becoming more aware of diversity and more accepting, we are becoming LESS able to see the full extent of how diverse humans really are and are being forced to pigeonhole them into categories that the average five year old is supposed to be outgrowing. What we are seeing is an extremely judgmental, rigid and abusive cult that denies an obvious reality that even a child can see, that biological sex is real and important, and cannot be replaced by or conflated with gender identity or roles, even if we also agree that gender presentation and gender identity are also important biological realities. It used to be only children who foolishly did so, but now we have adults telling children that everyone can have a penis and only girls wear barrettes.

In the original story of The Emperor’s New Clothes, the child’s lack of indoctrination into social hierarchies left them nonconformist, and free to state what they saw with their own eyes with impunity. The child was not punished because children are not expected to be politically correct. In fact, it led the adults to realize that they had let fear and desire to conform and be thought clever blind them to obvious reality. It is the adults in the end who feel foolish and ashamed, and change their ways. We’re not yet at the end of the story of The Emperor’s New Gender, but based on the current trajectory the “adults” are going to double-down and I will soon be looking for a new career, as I will be expected to throw away everything I know about child development so that daycares can be run like Orwellian indoctrination camps. I will not participate in the ideological and developmental abuse of children so that a tiny minority of adults can live in a fantasy world in which they deny an aspect of reality when it has the temerity not to give a shit about their ideology.

[what-big-teeth]

Spark (Male Fire Elemental, pt. 4)

Ignis and Simone share themselves with each other yet face one last obstacle. But it’s nothing compared to their shared strength. Not when happiness is so close.

Female Human (POV) x Male Monster [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

Lemon ; NSFW

Ignis has never mentioned any positives to being a trapped observer to the human word. But it shows now. It’s in the way he caresses my cheeks and gently guides me to lie back on the bed.

His lips pepper nearly every inch of my face. He pays special attention to the tip of my nose, my cheeks, and my ears. But he purposely misses the one spot where I want him most. Ignis pulls back to bare his torso’s weight on his bent forearms.

“Something wrong?” he asks.

I try to speak, but end up moaning instead. The slow way he’s grinding his clothed hips against mine creates a delicious friction that has me biting my lip.

“Just dealing with a tease,” I hiss out.

Ignis hums thoughtfully, steadily going. He leans down but doesn’t close the small distance between us.

“Is there something I can do to help?”

His warm breath brushes against my skin and I almost moan.

“Yeah,” I say, lifting my hips up against his.

His breath catches and he growls in my ear. I grin.

“Stop fucking around.”

His large, clawed hands dive under my sweater before I can breathe. They follow the shape of my waist, squeezing a bit, then pause under my bra.

“I suppose burning this isn’t an option?”

A rush of excitement floods my veins and I shiver.

“Next time,” I sigh, “when it’s mine.”

His hands slip underneath and cup my breasts. God, the heat of his palms... It takes everything to not melt into his touch. At my urging, Ignis pulls back to give me some space. My sweater and bra fall to the floor, leaving me topless.

His eyes widen, drinking me in as if I’ll vanish with a blink. But I take one of his hands and guide it back to my breast.

“Still with me?” I ask.

Molten fissures start breaking through his deep russet skin, which slowly blackens. My pulse spikes and my mind imagines the contrast of us pressed together.

But the cracks and darker shade begin to recede and his human form is all that’s left. He pulls away, panting.

“Is something wrong?” I ask. “We can stop if you—“

“No. I just need a moment to regain control.”

His eyes avoid mine as my brows knit together.

“Control? Over what?”

He grabs his left wrist with his right hand. Some of the cracks are still present, refusing to vanish.

“This form,” he growls. “You prefer this appearance, and I’m more than—“

My hands cup his cheeks and he finally looks at me. His expression is fearful, almost ashamed. It makes my mouth twist into a frown.

“When did I say that?”

“...Earlier today, but not through speech. If this is the way you wish to see me, I can accept that.”

“But I can’t.”

I shift closer then balance on my bent knees so I can look him in the eye.

“Yes,” I say, “your human form is nice to look at. But it’s a tiny part of the larger whole.”

I take his left arm and kiss the fissures on his wrist. They begin to spread up his forearm.

“I’m sorry I didn’t make myself clear before. I don’t want just a part of you, Ignis. I want you completely, fire and all.”

The fissures pulse with a molten light, continuing to overtake his human form. Ignis pulls me closer by my waist and kisses me, his tongue slipping past my lips as I gasp. He tastes of smoky warmth, deep, rich, and biting.

“You have a way with words, my darling light,” he says against my mouth.

When I try to reply, he silences me by licking at my bottom lip and gliding his claws down my back, making me shiver. Much of his skin has darkened and the fissures of his true form have almost taken over. But the changes end just underneath his jaw and his human face remains. His eyes, now fully ruby red, briefly flash white.

“But I want to see to you speechless.”

His clawed fingers catch the top of my jeans and yank, forcing my back to hit the bedding. My bare legs bounce against the mattress then settle. It’s then I realize I’m completely naked.

I try to sit up, but Ignis’ large hands gently squeeze my ankles and pull my body to the foot of the bed. He stops once the bottom of my ass is touching the edge. Then his hands trail up to my thighs, lifting and spreading them. Hot air fans over my wet core and my fingers grip the sheets.

“I-Ignis...”

“Tell me what you want,” he says. “Tell me how to bring you pleasure.”

“Your mouth...Use your mouth on me.”

I look down the length of my body and see him smirk.

“It seems,” he breathes so close to me, “this form can be of great use.”

His lips form a seal around my clit then suck. I scream. The perfect heat from his mouth nearly sends me over the edge.

But then he pulls away to lap at my folds lazily, like he’s savoring the taste. He keeps at it, until my fingers are twisting the sheets and my legs shake. Then his tongue dips inside, his nose pressing against my clit. Heat tightly coils in my belly and I’m so close.

“I-Ignis, I’m almost—”

His lips find my clit again and the heat springs free. I wail, rocking my body into his mouth to draw out the feeling. Soon enough, I’m too tired to move. But Ignis, wonderful lovely Ignis, lifts me in his arms and cradles me against his bare chest.

My hands skim across his black skin.

“When did you...”

He moves and chuckles, nuzzling against my messy curls. Once I’m lying on the bed, he stands to his full height in his true form, completely naked. His cock, fissured with molten lines and leaking, taps against his muscular stomach.

I reach out a hand to him and he intertwines our fingers, being careful of his claws. His broad form makes the bed dip then settles over me, his white hot eyes meeting my stare. I reach up towards his face just as he leans down. Our foreheads press together as I breathe in the heat flowing from him.

“My beautiful, darling light,” he says. “How should I...?”

I smile. “Just follow my lead.”

It takes a few minutes of adjusting, but Ignis is ready and lined up with the tip of his cock brushing against me. As the warmth of his body washes over me, he waits, splayed hands on both sides of my head.

“Go slow,” I tell him.

He does, carefully pressing against my folds until he slips past them. I moan from the weight and heat of him as he stretches me. His ridges brush against my walls, making me shiver. Once he’s fully seated, I’m completely filled.

“You feel...exquisite.”

His head lowers onto the bedspread as his body trembles. Pulses of heat wash over me in a steady rhythm. Like a heartbeat.

“You too.”

He slowly rolls his hips, creating sparks of pleasure inside me. I gasp as he growls against my ear.

“J-Just like that,” I moan. “Keep going...”

Soon enough, his grinding turns into thrusting and I’m left gripping his broad shoulders. The molten fissures of his body start to glow brighter as his heat engulfs me, inside and out. His cock slides against that one spot and my legs lock around his waist.

“Right there! I’m almost...”

Ignis angles his last few thrusts as I reach down and rub my clit. Liquid heat pools in my lower belly as I cry out his name. He tenses above, hips stuttering, my name falling from his lips as he pulses inside me.

Ignis only lasts a few more seconds on his shaky arms. Then, he falls to my side, panting.

I welcome the slight soreness between my legs as I shift closer to him. His fissures slowly return to their normal glow and he groans. I place a hand against his cheek.

“You alright?”

He copies my gesture then rubs one of my curls between his fingers.

“More than,” he says.

I kiss the area where his mouth would be and he shudders.

“Good.”

We bask in each other’s presence, slowly regaining our energy. Sleep almost overtakes me. But Ignis recovers, and he pulls me against his chest, nuzzling my temple.

“I love you.”

Pure giddiness keeps me alert enough to nod against him.

“I love you, too.”

And then, because the moment is calm and I’m happy and warm,

“Stay with me? The house needs more work, but with time...”

“...It can be a home,” he finishes.

Angling my body, I press my forehead against his.

“Exactly. So will you?”

Ignis hums and skims his claws down my back.

“Yes.”

I give him one last smile and let sleep pull me under.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It takes finding a full-time job and three years. But with help from Mason, Mica, and Dad, we succeed and make Nana’s house our home. One that Dad is happy to visit in the future.

The repairs have been completed, new furniture has been moved in, and the den has been repurposed into a workspace for Ignis.

His glassblowing technique has improved by leaps and bounds since he first started. He now runs a modest shop in town and customers across the state pay top dollar for his handmade creations.

We haven’t touched much of the money. Not even to replace Nana’s old fireplace. Ignis wanted it to stay, to serve as a “humbling reminder”. And then there’s also the future to consider.

As I stand in the living room facing the fireplace, Ignis hugs me from behind and nuzzles my neck.

“My darling light,” he says.

I turn my head to kiss him and he rubs the slight swell of my stomach.

“Welcome home, Ignis. Welcome home.”

[sakura-kc]

The 4pm Bookstack

Chapter 2: What is a Grinch?

“This place looks crappy.” YN stood in front of the abandoned library. The window were covered with planks of wood that looked like they would turn to dust with a single touch. YN was not going to lie, she was afraid that if she even breathed in the building general direction the whole place would collapse on to itself.

“Remember to not start anything. Let me do all of the talking.” Jun opened the rusty door to the see rows and rows of bookshelves. Spiderweb filled the place, though there were signs that someone had been here. “Oh? Spiderwebs? You know what that means.” YN nudged Jun’s shoulder. Jun tried not to show it but she was extremely terrified that there could be spiders here or even worse.

“W-whatever, let’s get going.” YN decided to walk in front of her assistant to move the webs out of the way and to lower the chance of a spider jumping onto Jun.

“So where’s the client?” YN stomped on every spider that came in near them. Jun checked her phone to find the answer to her partner’s question. “They said that they’ll be in staff room.” YN looked around to in the room, “and where is that?”

“I’ll text them. They seem to be a fast at responding so we’ll at most have to wait a minute.” YN wondered around the library and looked at the books. There were many on the shelves, unfortunately they seemed to be mixed up because some nonfiction books and mangas were found in poetry section. “Say, Jun, do you know when this library was abandoned?”

“I think it was ten years ago, why?” YN took one of the books out. “These books seemed pretty old but...” YN showed Jun a children’s book with ducks on the cover, “why do kid’s book have yellow fully grown ducks in their books? Like, adult ducks aren’t yellow.”

“That’s very common in kid’s books... wait, have you never seen that?!” Jun questioned the 21-year-old woman. “No, I didn’t read any kid’s books growing up. I pretty much just trained every hour of the day.” Jun gasped, these were the few times when Jun let her true personality peek out at work. “So you’re saying that you’ve never read The Rainbow Fish!?”

YN shook her head. “Not even one Dr. Seuss book. Green Eggs And Ham? The Cat In The Hat? How The Grinch Stole Christmas!?” Yet again YN shook her head. “I have no idea what a Grinch is.”

“Jesus Christ... and I thought I lived under a rock.” YN puffed her cheeks in response, “HEY! Sorry I didn’t have a proper childhood. I just didn’t have that much free time back then, okay? And even if I did have some, I would read these informational books that Natsuo would give me.”

“Natsuo is The Boss’ husband, correct?” Jun was still typing away on her phone. “Yup, he’s in charge of the lesser families and since there’s so many of them, he doesn’t get seen by many people in the higher ranked families.” YN twirled and poked her cheek, “but of course I get to see him often and we usually have nice talks.”

“You seem to be closer with him than The Boss.” YN looked at Jun with a tired expression. “Hoshi and I have a strained relationship, she was supposed to be a mentor/mother figure for me but she failed at that. Natsuo is probably the closest that I’ll get to a parental figure.”

“Oh I see.” Was all that Jun could say. YN sat down and started to stack some books to pass the time. A good ten minutes passed by and it seemed that YN had stacked all of the books across the library. “YN, why the hell did you do this?”

“Why not. Hey, any update on the guy, you DID say that he was a fast responder.” Jun looked at her phone with anger in her eyes, “this guy is making me look like a damn liar.”

BOOM

“Did you hear that?” YN grew warry from the sudden sound. “Yes, I think it came from over there.” Jun pointed to west side of the library. “Your ears are as good as a cat’s. One of the many traits of the former Nekoma family member.” YN gushed about Jun’s excellent hearing ability that she picked up over her years in the mafia.

“Oh shut it. I’m still a Black Cat member at heart, this promotion The Boss gave me changes nothing now let’s get going.” Jun and YN rushed towards the sound. They found a door with the words “Staff Only” written on it. “I think we found the place we’ve been looking for.” Jun opened the door to see a unconscious man (no more than 40 years old) tied up in the corner of the room.

“Isn’t that the guy that we were supposed to meetup with?”

“Yup.”

Jun was about to step foot in the room until YN saw something shining in the corner of her eye. “Wait!” YN pulled her comrade back in the spilt moment. A bullet grazed YN’s ear, leaving a tiny cut. A shadow ran out of the room while the women were down.

“Jun, you stay here while I go after the guy!” Jun didn’t have time to respond because YN was already running after the mysterious person.

YN ran like there was no tomorrow. Rule number one in the mafia is if someone tries to shoot at you, shoot back. YN got her gun from it’s holster and began shooting at the figure. “I don’t need to necessarily shoot him down I just need to restrict his movements... but if I land a shot on him then that would help too.”

The figure got to the area in the library where YN stacked all the books and instinctually tried to avoid all of them. ”It’s great that humans naturally avoid messing up stacks. Those bookstacks will slow him down big time.” The culprit was near the entrance door, they were so close to opening it and escaping until...

BANG

YN had shot the figure in the arm. They looked at their bloodied limb before looking at YN in her eyes. YN finally had a clear picture of them. They were a male with red spiked up hair (probably in his very early 20’s) he had a bag in his other hand, what was in it? Who knows but for all YN knew, it could be a bomb that can blow this whole place to smithereens so she wasn’t taking any chances.

“I’m going to ask you one time, and one time only, come with me calmly and without resistance.” YN pointed the gun to the man. He only chuckled at her commands. It weirded YN out, nobody laughed at her when they were in this kind of situation. What is wrong with this guy?

“Do you think that I don’t know that your gun is empty.” YN’s eyes widen, she pulled back the trigger for nothing to come out. “How-“ The man took this moment as a chance to run out the door. “Wait!” YN proceeded to trip on one of her many bookstacks.

“YN!” Jun ran up to the fallen girl and helped her up. “I’m guessing they got away?” YN shamefully nodded her head. “But you did shoot them right?” YN pointed at the pool of blood at the entrance to answer Jun’s question.

“That’s good, at least we can get their DNA and deal with them later.” Jun patted YN on her shoulder. “Also I have a feeling that you knew someone else was here too, YN.”

“Of course there was some clues such as the our client not responding and that children’s book.” Jun look at YN with a confused look on her face. “How does that children’s book have to do with this?”

“You said that this place closed down ten years ago but that book said that it was published a few months ago. Why would a new book go to an already broken down library?” YN seem kind of frustrated, it was only natural. This was the first time in a while that someone got away from her.

“I’ll call the car over so we can get your ear patched up, okay?” Jun began to dial their driver’s number. YN didn’t answer. All she could think about was that man.

*•*•*•*•*•*

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Tidbit #2- Jun is known for being extremely good at her job but her only downfall is her high fear of spiders.

Tidbit #3- Jun isn’t officially YN’s assistant. It’s just that whenever Jun got promoted to being YN’s partner, YN’s decided to dump all of her paperwork and scheduling onto her.

A/N: I was planning to publish this tomorrow but hey it’s Mother’s Day so imma pull a YN and say “why not.”

Taglist: @drainedjaz @issalilmessy