#it’s consistent and well. not super awesome.

[i-have-not-slept]

one of these days we really need to have an actual serious conversation about how cassandra clare consistently prioritises mlm over wlw ships in her books

[wilwheaton]

hello mr wil wheaton when you were my age (like exactly i think) you were filming stand by me

I turned 13 during production, so if you're about to become a teenager, I hope you'll let me offer some thoughts that I wish an adult had shared with me, then?

I know this is a wall of text, and giving someone this much of your attention is a HUGE ask. Maybe bookmark this for another time, if you're not into hearing an old man talk.

I wrote this a few days before I turned 50. Thank you in advance for listening, and I wish you a life filled with joy, unconditional love, kindness, and adventure.

Hey everyone! An old man is talking!

In seven days, I will be 50 years-old. This is ... weird. I do not feel the way I expected I would feel when I was approaching 50, nor do any of my friends. The only time I feel like I'm middle-aged is when my body does some bullshit that takes me down for hours because I had the nerve to stand up quickly. And I really hate it when I have to use the flashlight on my phone to see a menu. I mean, at that point, I may as well be dropping my pants for free and singing the Old Gray Mare.

Anyway. This has been on my mind for a little bit, so I had something to say when someone used my tumblr ask me thingy earlier this week:

Q: I hope I'm as cool as you when I'm 49. I'd like to think I'm taking the right steps towards that version of myself. A: So I'm not sure I'm cool, but I do know that I don't suck, and that it's a choice I make every day. I desperately wish someone in my family had told me, or shown me by example, that getting older doesn't mean getting stupid and boring and stuffy and extremely uncool. I wish I'd known that, because I spent all of my life until I was in my 40s feeling like there was this day coming very soon when I would have to stop listening to punk, stop playing video games, put on a suit, and start yelling at kids for no good reason. I didn't know that you don't have to suddenly stop being who you are and become something or someone you hate, just because of a certain age. I know that's super obvious, but to young me, it was not. My dad was an asshole, my mom never showed up for me. Directors and people on set had been treating me like a thing for my entire life. I got yelled at for no reason from adults who knew better almost every day. Most of my elementary school teachers were authoritarian, evangelical assholes. All of these different adults, consistently, shut me down and made me feel like I didn't matter, the things I liked were stupid, and my opinions were invalid because of reasons I didn't understand because I was a dumb kid. So I presumed that when you got to be a certain age, that's what happened. I didn't want to be that, at all, and I was sincerely afraid of the day it would happen. But as I got older, I discovered that all that stuff I hated about adults doesn't automatically happen. Those adults I just mentioned all made a choice to be an asshole. I just didn't know it. I was in my early 20s when I did a movie with a cinematographer who was, I think, 45 at the time. He was the coolest, kindest, most artistic dude I'd ever known. He mentored me and we had epic fun making great art together. I remember telling him, "I'm not afraid of being in my 40s like I used to be. I didn't know you could still be cool." It's sad, that I grew up in such a toxic environment, and didn't know any of these things. So, 9 days before I turn 50, here are a couple things I have figured out: You know who sucks when they hit 49 and 50? People who sucked when they were 20 and never grew up. You know who is an asshole at 49 and 50? Yep. Someone who was an asshole as a kid and never experienced consequences for being an asshole. Hitting middle age has been awesome for me. Other than the aging of my body and its reluctance / refusal to do what I want it to do, I love everything about it. I wish I hadn't spent so much of my life being afraid that, when I hit 50, it was all over. Because honestly it's kind of just starting. The coolest stuff in my life to date has all happened in the last ten years, and I'm so grateful that it coincided with me figuring out a lot of shit so I could enjoy it.

The best part of getting older, by several thousand light years, is the part where we figure out how to stop putting up with other people's bullshit, and we contract our social circle until it's only populated with a VERY few people who deserve us. And I am incredibly grateful for these occasional opportunities to be a 49 year-old dad who can say all the things that would have been reassuring for 19 year-old me to hear (he wouldn't have understood, but 29 year-old me would have remembered, and he would have understood. I think.) I sincerely hope someone hears it and finds it helpful. Anyway, you're gonna be fine. Just remember that being cool, kind, honest, honorable, reliable, listening and showing up … they are all choices. If you want to be cool when you're 49, make the choice and set the example for someone to follow you. Treat kids the way you wanted to be treated when you were young. Listen to them when they offer you the privilege, because that means they trust you, and you have credibility with them. Be a mentor. Be supportive. Show up. Make a choice to be the person you need in the world, and never stop being that person. Start today, and when you're nearing 50 like I am, hopefully you'll remember who you needed right now, so you can be that person to someone else in the future. You're already asking the right questions and taking the first steps. I believe in you. You've got this.

Okay, if you've come this far, perhaps you'll follow me a little bit more, and read a thing I wrote about talking to students just a tiny bit older than you, which contains my core values.

Be honest. I’m a very old man, relative to y’all, and I’ve learned that the only currency that really matters in this world is the truth.

Be honorable. This dovetails with number one. You attract to yourself what you put into the world. Dishonorable people will take everything from you and leave you with nothing. Do your best to be a person they aren’t attracted to.

Work hard. I don’t mean, like, at your crappy minimum wage job you hate. I mean do the hard work that makes relationships work, that gets you ahead in your education, that gets you closer to your goals. Everything worth doing is hard. Everything worth doing requires hard work. Sooner or later, you’re going to run into something in your life that’s really hard, and you’ll want to give up, but it’s something you care so much about, you’ll do whatever you can to achieve it. It’s going to be hard, but it’s going to be less hard for someone who has practiced doing the hard things all along, than it is for someone who doesn’t know how to do the hard work because they’ve always chosen the easy path.

Always do your best. Even if you don’t get the result you wanted, doing your best — which will vary from day to day, moment to moment — is all you can ever do. We tell athletes to leave it all on the field. Whatever your version of that is, do it.

This is the most important one. This is the one I hope you’ll all hear and embrace. This is the one I hope you’ll share with your peers: Always be kind.”

When I read number 5, I looked up at them. I was so happy to see a classroom filled with teenagers who were all listening intently, even the ones I thought had tuned me out. “Here’s the thing about being Kind, versus being Nice,” I said. “I have interacted with lots of nice people who are incredibly unkind. Why is that? How do you choose to be nice but not kind?”

I pointed to my head. “This is where nice comes from,” I said. Then, I put my hand over my heart. “This is where kind comes from.” I put my hands out, like, “get it?”

There was this collective gasp of realization that I did not expect, at all. One kid said “Oh damn!” I saw a few kids look at each other like the trick had just been explained to them. They heard me. They really, really heard me. And it was amazing.

Okay, that's all. If you're still here, thank you for giving me so much of your time and attention. I hope you'll come back in a few years, and let me know how you're doing.

[akanemnon]

I was bored, so I decided to create Dark World versions of DR!Asriel and DR!Chara! (Even though they’ll never actually go to the Dark World in Twins Runes… but details).

Of course, since I love making my life more complicated, instead of just showing them to you, I’ve decided to write out my entire "creative process" as well.

Brace yourself, because this is gonna be loooong.

---

• Asriel

At first, I thought about making him look similar to Asriel from Deltarune Chapter Rewritten, adding a few details from an old Dark World design of Asriel you made a while back. It would have been simple, effective, and overall made perfect sense...

But obviously, NOPE.

Taking the easy way out? Couldn't be me.

So instead, I went for something a bit more "colorful", still taking inspiration from Asriel’s "God of Hyperdeath" version in Undertale.

For his class, I went with bard. Something like this:

[Bard for D&D]

I don’t know why, but the idea of a bard in Deltarune has always cracked me up. Plus, I think it fits his personality as a "fake tough guy with a heart of gold."

Now, onto his weapon. I took Asriel's Chaos Buster from his "God of Hyperdeath" form and turned it into… a lyre.

I know, not exactly a groundbreaking idea, but I can’t stop laughing at the thought of a lyre that, every time it hits someone, plays a dramatic music note… or maybe an electric guitar riff. I haven’t decided yet.

---

• Chara

If I had a lot of inspiration for Asriel, Chara was a whole different struggle. There aren’t many reference images (and no, UT!Chara doesn’t count, because from what you told me, they should have a completely different outfit).

The only real starting point was this drawing, which was super helpful:

[By @Unabashedconnoisseurtwitt / @UCNSFW (One of these should be fine...)]

Aside from that, I had to improvise, taking inspiration from Deltaswap Kris’ outfit:

[By @panpan]

For their class, I went with thief/assassin (kinda like UT!Chara). Something like this:

[D&D Assassin]

Now, let’s talk about their weapon.

This part was easy: a knife.

But not just any knife.

A knife shaped like the Delta Rune. (No clue why, but I thought it looked awesome.)

I picture them having a dynamic similar to Susie and Ralsei in Chapter 1: Asriel happily playing music to spare enemies, while Chara… just stabs them repeatedly.

---

And that’s it! After months of pure artistic nothingness, I finally managed to draw something Twins Runes-related!

I really hope you like the drawings and that my endless explanation didn’t bore you too much.

Now, after this sudden burst of creativity, it’s time for me to disappear for another 3-4 months, just for consistency.

BYEEEEEE!

(PS: Thank you again for creating Twins Runes! It’s been forever since I worked on something this detailed, but your art really inspired me!)

These are really nice! I like the thought process that went into these! Really like the idea of turning Asriel's blaster into a lyre!

Funnily enough, I HAVE already created Dark World designs for these two, but never showed them off. Maybe some other day and definitely not under this ask. Don't wanna take away from your lovely fanart!

[drdemonprince]

ENM/Poly circles explicitly discourage real talk around jealousy, and practical considerations around nonmonog in ways that routinely exclude and excise POC and disabled people.

ENM/Poly expects everyone involved to act as though “love” is the reason for every relationship choice. Cliche #1: love isn’t finite. Which… sure. Maybe love isn’t finite, but attention and time sure are— and those are at a premium.

Cliche #2: Love is all you need/love is what makes a family. I am familiar with criticism of this from a family abolition, anticapitalist standpoint, but I have seen this be uncritically repeated by ENM/Poly people. It’s not true that love is what makes a relationship work or not work. It’s also about dumb shit, like geographical proximity and practicality. Good luck being ENM if you can’t regularly host because you have roommates or live at home. Good luck being the gold standard of ENM (out to everyone, including family and maybe even the workplace!) if you are any kind of marginalized. Love is simply not enough. There’s real world shit to consider.

Most ENM/Poly people are white gen x’ers and older millenials for a reason. It’s a framework that works awesome if you have abundant spare space, disposable income to blow, and free time. Plus most ENM/Poly people are heavily in therapy, and just have a fuckton of time to deal with their various baggages… or at least like to posture as though they are doing those things.

Non monog can be liberatory— disabled polycules caring for one another. QPRs! Multiparent households! But ENM/Poly is very lodged in a liberal, hyper-independent Super Good Boundaries Thank You Very Much world of its own, and so most of the “resources” like More Than 2 or Polysecure have hella flaws in that respect.

COME OFF ANON SO I CAN FOLLOW YOU! Because you just said a whole word.

I find "ethical nonmonogamy" and polyamory circles to be viscerally unpleasant and alienating to be in as a crazy, chaotic antipsych person who does not always make choices for carefully therapized, restrained reasons -- and who doesn't believe that most other people do either, no matter how much they claim to.

I don't fuck multiple people to serve some higher purpose; I do it because I'm horny, impulsive, and have a variety of niche fetishes that are really difficult to satisfy.

I didn't choose to be openly nonmonogamous because I nurtured my soul and found that it was abundant with love that I just had to give -- all my relationships already were nonmonogamous at one point or another, either because I cheated or the other person did or both, and I eventually decided to move with my feelings rather than against them, and to stop denying all that is inside me -- all of the hunger and darkness as well as the light.

And I can't say that my nonmonogamy is inherently "ethical" either -- just like my monogamy sure wasn't! I'm a human being, and a crazy one at that, I get jealous, I have emotional blowups, I lash out and fuck other people to make myself feel better or to affirm that I am desired, I make big demands of the people I date, I fail to show up for people consistently, I get hurt, and I hurt others, and I will continually have more to learn. I will also continually have wild animal emotions and triggers, and I won't always deal with them in the way my partner(s) might want me to. I try to avoid hurting other people needlessly, of course, but sometimes your own needs are incompatible with another person's, and hurt is inevitable.

When there is only so much time and attention available in our lives, it's true that somebody's often going to come up short. And ultimately the person that I choose above all others is me. And so, no, I can't say I'm always doing nonmonogamy in some caring yet dispassionate way, or that love is the solution to all problems -- I am driven by passion and need, and sometimes being alive in those ways means getting hurt, or hurting in turn.

I would echo essentially all that you've said. We need time and resources and spaces to enjoy privacy with other people, and if you're not some rich work-from-homer, that shit's all in short supply. I hate the sheen of calm positivity that "ENM" and polyamory folks tend to place on everything -- as if no choices they make are fueled ever by bitterness, dislike, resentment, or hell, fucking white hot irrational DESIRE. With how fair and measured so many of them make their polyamory sound, I don't even see what's fun about any of it.

Sometimes you want to upend your whole life because you're so down bad for a person. Sometimes you hate the shit out of your partner's partners and you say and do little manipulative shitty things to convey those feelings, or to try and blow the relationship up. Sometimes the hours just don't add up and somebody gets shafted. Sometimes you make a promise and then you can't follow through, or just don't WANT to anymore because you have changed.

These are real human realities whether we like it or not, and I find it terribly unrealistic AND unsexy to refuse to acknowledge all the darkness and frustration that comes out in any relationship. I think a lot of the ENM/poly crowd that is white and middle class and heavily therapized is so averse to naming anything edgy or prickly in themselves that they make their spaces actively hostile to anybody who openly expresses negative feelings. That means Black & brown people get tone-policed a ton, "mad" people like me get no-true-scotsmanned out of "ethical" nonmonogamy for ever doing anything messily, and all the romance and sexiness of relationships gets sanded down into a Canva-graphic beige blandness of weekly polycule meetings and processing sessions.

In this world of self-optimization, even fucking and loving other people has to be cast as therapuetic -- our desires must justify themselves by somehow making us better, more capable, more controlled people, But fuck that. Sometimes sex or love is worth exploding your whole life over. The ENM/poly crowd says their way of loving makes them more even-keeled but it seems like a kind of death to me.

[starboyjuno]

next batch of geese🧡 requests from @interclover and @aricatastrophe !!

I would absolutely love more requests! please don't be shy :3 also feel free to request sillies from other shows, especially ii, as ill eventually do a lineup for them as well! again, headcannons below [absolute yapfest & some character analysis] , and thank you for 300+ on my last two groups!

more: pencil/pen/marker , tree/leafy/grassy

notes:

- sb and icy are cousins! their parents are brothers. they're also icelandic so the naming conventions are super interesting! if ur icelandic feel free to tell me a bunch of stuff about ur culture cuz it's awesome but! from what I researched, names need to be approved by a government agency and surnames are patronymic essentially, whatever your father's first name is, you take that and then add '-sson' for male children and '-dottír' for female children :) awesome to me i love research!!!!

- sb and icy's relationship is a bit rocky. they were really close as kids but I feel like they drifted apart as they grew older.. I feel like as of tpot they make friends again and start to be kind and nice

❄️ . snowball :

- i need to kill him😭😭😭

- umm i think. from my interpretation of him, sb isn't like. a blatant bigot, he's just kind of insecure and projects his insecurities on other people.. he wants to be the 'strongest ever' and anything that he deems 'weak' doesn't deserve to be around him.. I think in like. a human ver. of the show it would likely be that he was degraded for not being 'masculine enough' and fell down a bit of a pipeline unfortunately

- he's not . evil though. I think he's an ally in the sense that he don't gaf a whole lot.. he supports his friends who are queer [pen/eraser/coiny] and would dropkick anyone who disrespected them. I also don't think he's a misogynist, he just a freak and needs a lot of therapy

- so sorry but that's a cishet white man 😞

- his relationship with grassy is very sweet to me.. I think that. by the time tpot comes around, he's still a little messy but he's kind of come to terms with a lot of his issues, and does his best to treat grassy the way he wanted to be treated when he was a kid.. auauggh.. the brothers 😢😢 through caring for grassy and being there for him sb grows as a person and becomes softer.. in my mind..

🧊 . ice cube :

- she's autistic to me.. likes the hat because it helps with noise reduction. and the pressure of it feels nice (projecting)

- mischievous ass lesbian bro.. she uses tricky schemes and plots to get her way/j but I do think her whole "revenge" thing is due to some of her anger issues.. [runs in the family or whatever] of which she has many. I think she also has a complex insecurity thing with her consistent feeling of being excluded and left out (esp in freesmart) (wow okay autism)

- idk if I'll give her albinism or not.. I think it's cool either way and if she did her and book could be lack of melanin buddies😭

- consistently cold... you'll always find her in sweaters and heavier clothes poor thing has circulation issues i fear

📚 . book :

- I AAAUGGGHH BOOOKKKK😢😢😢 AUAGSHDYEGUWGH 😭😭😭 sorry I like her a lot .. everything to me.. miss girl...

- consistently overlooked, undervalued, and tossed aside..even when she makes mistakes and even if it takes a while she always manages to apologize and try to stay positive with it.. possibly also an autistic queen everything to me I hope she wins bfdia..

- LOVER GIRL!!! she is so full of love both platonic and romantic.. I feel like she has an unrequited crush on icy as well as a probably requited thing with price tag.. idk I like those ships they're cutesy... at least once, she's crushed on each member of freesmart [except for ruby]..

- german heritage is a nod to the gutenberg printing press because it's funny to base nationalities/ethnicities on that sometimes

- HER NAME IS STUPID ON PURPOSE ITS FUNNY AS FUCK!!!!! BROOKE PAGE IDC

okay that's enough from me I'll add more later maybe if i think of anything else

[ditzyblues]

Do you have like a guideline/tips for how you draw Casey? I always try to draw her but it comes out wrong 💔

thank you for the question!!! i'm hesitant to answer this one, since casey has gone thru a super long process of like. Redesign. a lot of my casey is self indulgence (but not thoughtless.)

i'm far from her canon design at this point. in fact i don't think i've ever drawn it. but i haven't seen anyone horrifically misinterpret my design for her, so maybe I'm closer than I think.

FACIAL FEATURES:

my touchstones:

upturned, sharp eyes (going for monolid.) i always forget the eyeliner tho dont do that

HOOKED NOSE!!! even the canon forgets abt this.. a damn shame

sharp rectangular jaw

eyebrows that thicken at the end rather the inside

these are the four most important things i think abt while drafting her out... it's tougher to interpret casey's features since she's racially ambiguous, but i think it's safe to say she's east or southeast asian. i operate on the headcanon she's mixed filipina and white (like her voice actress.)

again, even with all these features in mind, her proportions can vary. I'm not even the most consistent with her, just because there's so much room in interpretation.

her cheekbones are pretty high, and i tend to highlight them. her nose is small for a hooked nose, and her lips are usually full enough (not as full as april's tho)

BODY TYPE:

touchstones:

broad shoulders bc of her back and arm mass (pronounced traps too)

buff arms. she lifts you see.

cinched but solid waist

wider hips, but nothing that takes from her shoulder width.

no one HAS to draw her beefy, given she's a stick in canon, but i think it kinda serves an arc. do u think she ate well in the foot clan...? NO! but now that she's free, she can bulk up and develop a good relationship with nutrition. Protein.

also she becomes more synonymous with the Casey Jones name. also stacked, muscular women are awesome and I think we need more. Also her being top heavy contrasts with April's more bottom heavy design. everything i do comes back to capril

MISC NOTES OF VARYING IMPORTANCE:

her haircut genuinely does not matter. as long as its close to her scalp in length and straight, she looks like casey.

red eyeliner certainly helps, but isn't needed. (saying this to cope with the fact i always forget it)

her black lipstick helps a lot. along with her ear cuffs on her left ear.

sticking to her black and red palette is great, but browns, deep blues, whites, pinks, and denims are fun too. have fun.

thinking of her as butch instantly gives her sauce in the drawing process

at this point in drawing her, i'm not thinking of her recognizability as foot recruit. she's evolved into this post canon, beefcake lesbian version of herself that has little pieces of my heart with her. i love her very much if u couldn't tell.

[sightseertrespasser]

Hey!

I think your Odds Of Survival is super super cool and awesome (I’m going batshit insane over it)

I’m really interested in the cybertronian political setup/worldbuilding you’ve been sprinkling in, it being revealed that Prowl and a lot of canon autobots are cons in this universe, mentions of the functionists, hints for whenabouts the quintessons arrived on cybertronian, etc.

I think the world you’ve built is so so cool. Ik you’re probably dripfeeding us crumbs intentionally and may not want to spoil things. But if there is anything you can or want to say, take this as an invitation to lore dump about whatever you want :3

If not then hope you’re having a good day and thanks for sharing your awesome creation :D

Hi!

Thank you so much for the compliment and the ask!

I do enjoy sprinkling in my world building in the stories themselves but I actually quite enjoy getting direct questions like these so I can info dump all the exposition I want. The drip feed is for satisfying narrative pacing, the ask box is for turning on the hose.

The basic premise I built off of was answering this question: If there’s no Optimus Prime, then what would happen to Cybertron?

The short version of what usually happens in most continuities is more or less as follows:

- The Functionalists and/or Sentinel Prime run Cybertron through a horribly oppressive government.

- A bunch of bots get sick of it and ignite a civil war.

- The rebellion “wins” but usually splits between the Decepticons and the Autobots, due to a division of fundamental beliefs. Decepticons are “might makes right” and Autobots are “how about not fascism?”

So what does it mean if Optimus isn’t there? What’s so special about the guy?

I have complicated thoughts on how Optimus, Megatron and their respective ideals interact and I could probably write a small essay about how they both offer Change to their followers in another tangent for another time.

The short answer is Optimus gives people the uncompromising option to Do Good. And backs that stance the fuck up every single time by his own actions. Taking the high road every time is freaking hard, and it takes an extremely stubborn, and most importantly angry kind of hope to not let it go.

Not many folks can do that. Not because they don’t want it, but because they don’t believe it’s possible.

And that’s were a lot of would be auto bots are at.

Everyone hates the Functionalists but they’re also incredibly rich in resources, controlling not just Cybertron but multiple planet spanning colonies. A lot of mechs that would have joined the rebellion in the og timelines haven’t because Megatron kinda puts out Evil Warlord vibes and not everyone is willing to work with that. People like Prowl and Elita still join because they’re the kind to go “Well we have to do something to make Cybertron better and taking the Trolly Off the Tracks isn’t an option.”

So the rebellion doesn’t quite reach the size needed to take out the Council and Sentinel in one fast all out charge. If it wasn’t for the Quintession invasion, the Decepticons would have eventually met a slow demise by attrition.

The Decepticons are low key operating like a pirate army with a very tentative ceasefire truce with the Functionalist Army. Unlike Optimus, Sentinel is a dick that can’t help but start shit with Megatron so there is almost zero collaboration between the two. Right now, the Decepticons are a downright devastating military force but in desperate need of a consistent supply of resources that raiding alone cannot stabilize.

The Lost Light is currently the only crew of the Decepticons that are legitimately trying to establish trade routes with other aliens (which is not going well because 90% of intelligent alien life views Cybertronians as colonist war machines (which is historically correct)) and they don’t exactly have the charming Beacon of Hope and Respect for Tiny Aliens that Optimus usually brings to the table.

Another thing in universe, the Lost Light is essentially considered the Island of Misfit Mechs. The ship is ancient and pretty much everyone on board got there for either “not being good enough” or from getting demoted, as is the case with Prowl.

Elita One was made the Captain because she’s competent enough to make Megatron nervous about her gathering too much influence but still too useful to kill off either. So she gets the rejects from other ships and up to a certain limit gets to do as she pleases.

That’s all I’ll write for now. Thanks again for taking an interest in my writing!

[heardsomedickwasbeinmeantoyou]

TRUST ME, I'M A LESBIAN

.

Hen was actually so, so wrong.

Buck was completely one hundred percent uninterested in how disgustingly attractive New Guy was, with his lean, mean firefighting-machine physique and those super pretty, long-lashed, stunningly big brown doe eyes of his.

Eddie Diaz. Ugh.

Ex-army medic. Top of his class at the academy. Infuriatingly unflappable.

Also too cool for a dumb nickname like any other normal fucking person. The douchebag was too cool for school in general, apparently.

Although neither of those things ended up being true, as Buck found out after two hot seconds of his ego pointlessly scrapping for position of Top Dog. Like when his new kick-ass partner answered to ‘Eds’ as if he always had, the moment Buck's subconscious decided it was just gonna be that way. Like when he'd discovered his awesome new friend was a single dad with a son, a kid of elementary school age, who just so happened to be the brightest shining light Buck had ever had the privilege of having to squint at.

That kid, just—wow. Buck was completely smitten, right from the off. Christopher was amazing. Way smarter than Buck, and way cooler than Eddie (who actually, adorably, turned out to be six-foot-worth of pure marshmallow that Buck kinda wanted to simultaneously squish and eat).

These irrefutable facts were first presented to him after inviting himself over to the Diaz residence with an offer of help to clean up following the earthquake, and then he sort of just…

Well, he sort of just never really left. At least, his heart always stayed behind at 4995 South Bedford Street, each and every time he reluctantly drove away from what very quickly became the undisputed best part of his life.

Until all of that changed in the space of a single heartbeat.

A few years down the line came the day that Eddie almost gave Buck a fucking coronary when he crowded into Buck's personal space and backed him into the fridge with a hand bracing either side of his head—post-it notes coming as unstuck as Buck did, magnets clattering to the kitchen floor and managing to sound like wedding bells to Buck's pathetically romantic ears—when suddenly Eddie was kissing him, and kissing him, and kissing him.

And—holy fuck.

After seeing God, Eddie had nervously asked Buck and his heart to stick around, for long enough to not just have (make) dinner and choose their after-meal movie, but to be the little spoon with Eddie in Eddie's too-small bed until morning time came around.

Eventually, after so many cosy nights on the porch with a beer and and arm snaked around his waist, and mornings consisting of packed lunches and pecks on the cheek, Eddie asked Buck to never leave.

Obviously, Buck and his heart sang out with a chorus of yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Or rather he'd screamed it with every goddamn fibre of his being, because Jesus fucking Christ, Buck was just as in love as Eddie apparently was.

Eddie didn't just want Buck; he wanted Buck to stay.

They'd grinned at each other like toothy, goofy idiots, before Eddie was kissing him again, and again, and again, and kind of never really stopped—never for very long, at least.

Yeah, sorry, Bobby and Co.

Funnily enough, it wasn't necessary for Buck to go home and pack a bag, seeing as most of his stuff already lived at Casa Buckley-Diaz (that was what Chris had started calling the place a while back). Thing was, all three of them already knew Casa Buckley-Diaz was Buck's real home, and had been for a really long time.

So that's how everything and nothing at all changed: Eddie and Christopher weren't just a part of Buck's life anymore; they just were his life.

Hen, it turned out—both annoyingly and completely wonderfully—was actually so, so right.

And yes, Buck definitely learned his lesson: Always trust a lesbian.

.

look, i've had A Time of it this last couple of weeks, and also have the dreaded block and just needed to write something—like, anything, y'know? i guess that this is the silly little fanfic-y no-dialogue something-anything i managed to come up with xp

[lilybug-02]

Happy 2 Year Anniversary to The Chara Timeline ✨

I FINALLY made drawing references for you guys, yippie!✨

It’s wild how long I’ve been working on this comic without reference sheets. I’m never that consistent with my art style, so I figured it was a waste of time 🫥💀😔 this is my first full comic okay…

Thoughts and Feelings About the Comic Below ❤️💖💕💞

Wow. It’s been 2 years??? I thought I would be done with this comic in 2 months! I don’t know whether to feel worried or accomplished!!

(With months between each update, I understand why it’s been 2 years. I’m a slow writer and artist and well- many things have come up in my life that had to come first, like my sisters wedding! 💞 and college 😅)

I want to thank my family and friends (WHO DO NOT READ THIS COMIC- THANK GOD) 💕 AND I want to THANK YOU! The readers! 💐💐

You guys are relentless! I’m as impatient as traffic and yet you guys wait for weeks or months at a time for like 4 pages?! You guys don’t even complain!!! I truly want to thank you all for that ❤️ it helps me so much. Being busy and getting burnt out are common and it helps me feel relaxed that i'm not on a timer. Literally tho- you guys keep this comic chugging I swear. Tysm 💐

Unorganized rambling about the comic ahead :) ⭐️🔥

—

My feelings with this comic are actually so complicated. On one hand I hate looking at my older art because GOD IT LOOKS SO OFF I want to stab it, and then on the other hand I am so so proud of myself for even continuing it this far. Ngl the weird route has been one of my favorite parts of this comic. It took me FOREVER to figure out an ending, but damn do I still get chills >:) hehe.

I’m still miffed that I named this project “Deltarune: The Chara Timeline” I could have gone for something so much COOLER. Doesn’t help I use like 7 different titles for it either. We got Deltarune the Chara timeline, Deltarune chara timeline, THE Chara timeline, chara timeline, Ct??? Man,,, I’m crazy. I take after my family so hard. We have 3 names for each of our dogs 💀.

Comic/Animation Tip i have learned. It is VERY GOOD to make the character relatively simple in design. Shape language is also super important, ((but I never really got around to doing that before I was half way through the comic, woops.)) These things can make ur process go by so much faster. This whole comic has been a HUGE learning curve. LIKE OH MY GOD. I had to learn how to draw backgrounds, write dialogue, plan a story, learn how to draw fast and draw noses (which god damn I really still can’t). And I had to learn how the heck to squeeze art into a tiny page and make it not look grainy. It's intense!

Anyways.... this has been such an awesome opportunity! Thanks Toby Fox!

I totally ran out of “art time” for my iPad and wanted to finish this today. So it’s a bit rushed. I’ll add weapons and possibly the other characters later :)

Oh shi- I forgot to add this grainy image of the next few pages lmao

[cowboylikeyouu]

What do you think Clint and Bucky's foods HCs are?

I think Buck likes Strawberry and very colourful icecreams much to everyone's suprise. Clint probably will eat giant sundaes loaded with insane toppings and all the sauces available.

omg i totally forgot i had this in my inbox, sorry for the late reply, but here you go!!!!

1st of all, i fully agree, bucky's such a strawberry ice cream person (or like, fruity flavors in general, while clint will get like 5 scoops of chocolate (or coffee flavored ice cream if that's an option)); and the toppings thing is SO real as well.

anyways, more random food/drink hcs:

food preparation: bucky's an amazing cook, clint isn't allowed to touch anything bc it'll probably end with the kitchen burning down. BUT clint makes the best drinks, he's always on cocktail duty (i have no reasoning behind this, i think i'd just love to see clint doing some fun tricks with a cocktail shaker)

bucky likes pineapple on pizza, clint hates it, and they argue about it ALL THE TIME, especially because clint puts EVERYTHING on pizza, like, imagine the most disgusting food combinations you would never out on pizza, clint barton DEVOURS it, but he draws the line at pineapple

clint's a strict black coffee only person, he will hiss at you if you try to put milk in it. bucky won't say no to black coffee, especially in the morning, but when they go out for coffee he will always get something special, and especially in the summer you'll find him with super elaborate iced coffee monstrosities that consist only of sugar, ice cream, and like a single mini shot of espresso. and clint will throw a tantrum bc "you can't possibly call that coffee, buck", but deep down he's just super happy & proud that bucky allows himself to have a """little""" sweet treat

they both absolutely hate bananas and everything banana-flavored except for banana bread

while clint is a chocolate person when it comes to ice cream, he definitely picks salty over sweet when it comes to snacks

i'm not sure if haribo (or gummi candies like it in general) are a thing in the US, but I'm just gonna pretend they are lol and talk about haribo goldbears: bucky is a normal person and loves the red and orange ones the most, clint prefers white, yellow, and green, which is awesome bc so both of them get to eat only their favorites

they always get the peanut M&Ms, and clint SWEARS that they taste different depending on what color they're coated with, and prefers the brown & red ones. bucky tried a hundred times but can't taste a difference for the life of him, but he indulges clint and only eats the other colors

idk if that's a common thing in the US either, but as soon as winter & christmas time rolls around in germany, no matter where you are, someone will ALWAYS be peeling & eating a tangerine, the smell is everywhere, and bucky definitely strikes me as that kind of person. clint likes the taste, but he hates the peeling process, and he's really picky when it comes to the white stuff, so he'll only eat a piece if bucky carefully worked on it for 5 goddamn minutes to get every single white bit off

"Only eat pasta dishes or potatoe dishes for the rest of your life?" bucky: pasta; clint: potato ("FRIES BUCKY!! FRIES!!")

don't tell clint, but bucky prefers burgers over pizza

bucky loves mars the most, clint prefers snickers, so most of the time they compromise and get a twix (best for sharing anyways)

"Where/What do you wanna eat tonight?" - "Idk, you pick" - "No, you pick!" - "No, YOU pick!" doesn't happen between them, bc clint's answer will always be pizza, so bucky gets to choose every time, as long as there will be pizza on sundays

ok i think that it's for now!!! everyone feel free to add more (or disagree with these lol)

[rivetgoth]

Black Alternative Music Recs

Not being Black myself, I hesitate to make myself a spokesperson specifically for Black alt artists as I don’t want to be tokenizing or reductive and I’d rather, like, uplift the voices of Black alt people than just make my own lists, BUT, I keep seeing people in the comments of recent posts about Death Grips asking for recs for more Black alternative artists, and I do know a good amount, so as a really basic list I wanted to throw out a few artists I really like—

Light Asylum: Darkwave. Really incredible vocalist, and openly queer. “Dark Allies” is a huge goth club hit but all of her work is great. I’ve seen her live twice and her live concerts are incredible too. One of the bigger Black goth artists.

Ho99o9: Punk/Industrial Hip Hop. Another big one, they’re pretty well known at this point but if you DON’T know them you should. Huuuge variety in sound here, all of it is so fun and solid, absolutely amazing energy.

clipping.: Industrial/Experimental Hip Hop. Really fun and catchy, great lyrics, great mixing, great experimental electronic sound.

Void Palace: Industrial/EBM. Local LA-based act with an amazing industrial dance club sound and vibe. Seen them live and they bring such cool but crazy energy. Really really solid.

O. Children: Darkwave/Post Punk. Really classic gothic sound, amazing vocals, really underrated, theatrical, fun, and moody gothic rock.

Izzy Spears: Industrial/Experimental Hip Hop. Openly gay alternative hip hop artist with a heavy and super danceable beat. I saw him live and he sounded great and had awesome punky energy.

LUSTSICKPUPPY: Punk/Electro-Industrial. Has almost a hyperpop sound sometimes, super high BPM high energy danceable electronic music with a really crazy theatrical style to their performances (kicking myself for missing them last year!). ETA: LSP uses they/them pronouns, corrected now but apologies for missing that irt any older iterations of this post floating around.

Baby Storme: Darkwave/Ethereal Pop. I think she got a bit of popularity on TikTok recently? I don’t use TikTok so idk, but she’s great. Really well mixed, fun, super solid dreamy darkwave with a dancey pop sound intermixed.

Grizz: Darkwave Hip Hop. I JUST discovered this artist, he’s another LA local who just put out a new single that’s getting some attention and he’s really good. Super cool goth fusion sound with really great classic darkwave electronic backing. Check him out!

Cold Gawd: Shoegaze/Post-Hardcore. Iconically sells merch that says “ABOLISH WHITE SHOEGAZE.” Absolute powerhouse of sound; I saw them live and their music sounded torrential, like this intense, powerful storm.

Debby Friday: Dark Electronic/Experimental Hip Hop. Really really haunting and dreamy gothic sound. Collaborates with artists like Boy Harsher. Superbly mixed. Lots of variety in sound but very consistently strong.

Dre Robinson: Industrial/Experimental Electronic. Longtime cEvin Key/Skinny Puppy collaborator. He was on stage with Skuppy during the recent live tour, doing sound and playing the maggot maracas (iykyk). He’s also been involved in a ton of cEvin’s solo work and accompanies him on stage for his live solo shows.

Charles Levi: Industrial/Industrial Rock. Wax Trax!/90s industrial icon, did work for My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult and Pigface. He’s recently had a bunch of serious health problems and has a GoFundMe up of you’d like to donate. He contributed to so much classic industrial rock, it’s crazy.

There’s a billion more. These are just some artists I genuinely really like personally who are Black, and I think all of them deserve a ton of support and recognition as contributors to the alternative scene. There’s so many amazing Black-fronted alternative bands and projects, and I’m just scratching the surface with artists I know and enjoy, Also considered listing some larger names like Yves Tumor and Tricky, but I feel they’re slightly more well known in the mainstream with ~1mil+ listeners on Spotify and I wanted to highlight some slightly more underground voices (to varying degrees—obviously some artists here are more well known than others).

Check them out!! Support Black alternative music!

[displ3azant]

CURRENTLY ASK-ABLE: - Unpleasant - Infected (Plez oversees the questions, though.)

(Before cut is In-Character.)

Hiii! Helloooo!

Hello!!!!!! Hehe, thiz iz actually super weird trying to write an intro-- give me a minute.

So, HIII!!!!!!! I'm Unpleasant! That'z not a joke, that iz literally my name. There'z no "deep reason" behind it, it iz literally just what people refer to me az. But, if that'z too weird, I do also go by Unplez or Plez for short.

Uh, pronounz? I don't really care, actually. I don't have a set gender, I've never really met a gradient who doez. That being said, since I started hanging with Infected I have been called he and she specifically a lot... so if it'z easiest for you, just roll with the crowd.

Right, so... the blog. Thatz thiz blog, haha! Well, the easy answer iz I waz super bored, Infected can suck a huge ####, and I like talking about myself! But... I kind of suck at talking in general, so I guess I'll type and answer questionz about myself.

BUT KNOW MY BOUNDARIEZ BEFORE YOU ASK QUESTIONZ! 👇👇👇

(Below cut is Out-Of-Character.)

To those who know me: Good to see you're still stickin' with me! I promise I will make an effort to make this blog much less of a dumpster fire like the last one.

And to those who are only now coming across this blog: Hello! My name is Hex. You don't have to call me "Mod Hex", or anything, just "Hex" will do. I'm the only guy running this thing here. I'll talk more about myself soon, because oversharing is what I do best.

Blog-Context

So, if it wasn't obvious enough from the intro, this is an ask/rp blog for the Unpleasant Gradient from Regretevator, but specifically in the context of the plez-centric au I have created for him. Or, well, the "AU" in question is actually just some freaky amalgamation of all my fucked up headcanons, which means...

I AM NO LONGER DOING DIRECT BLOG ASSOCIATIONS! Really sorry about that, I love my friends with all my heart but if I wanna keep consistency, I'm gonna have to "write the story" on my own. However, I do want to give full credit to my friends @sk8tr1101 and @party-noob for some major concepts involving Unpleasant, especially Audrey who already has some awesome ideas herself. Go check them both out!

MAIN TAGS:

#unpl3zansw3rz - Asks

#unpl3zrambl3z - Non-ask related posts/reblogs

#unpl3zlor3 - Plot points and similar

#ooc - Out-of-character post

OTHER TAGS (to be updated):

(nothing yet, hehe)

Blog-Owner

So hiiii, I'm Hex. If I can be bothered, out-of-character posts will either have the #ooc tag, be in purple text, or be signed off with my name. I'd prefer if you refer to me using he/it pronouns, thnx!

I'd also like you all to keep in mind I am 17 years old, therefore a minor, and even if I wasn't 17 I do not appreciate NSFW/Explicit jokes towards me, ESPECIALLY if you don't know me. It's one thing when you're my very close friends or my partner, it's another thing when you are a stranger on the internet asking me things I should not have to answer.

My other accounts are: @hexexists - my main blog, if you receive notifications from this account, please know it is just me! @hexational - my regretevator blog @geometricgiovanni - a Jeremy ask/rp blog set in the same universe as this one! Please note, however, that in the context of this blog, Unpleasant is not aware of the blog nor would he like to be.

Ask/RP-Boundaries

Let's start off by reiterating that I AM NOT OKAY WITH NSFW/EXPLICIT ASKS IN ANY CAPACITY! Sick of getting them, they're repetitive and annoying. Asking safe-for-work questions involving Unpleasant's anatomy is one thing, but I am not responding to ANYTHING involving genetalia.

ALSO! I am very unlikely to respond to things that is either hard to make a unique drawing for or don't progress the story (unlocking "lore" and such). I'm watching your ass, Mango, I know what you like to do (/lh). Joke asks are still okay, you don't *have* to progress story, but please keep in mind my "criteria" for answering asks when sending them. A clean inbox gives me a clear mind. I do not like notifications.

Shipping content: Shipping content is okay, but I don't care much for romance personally and so will likely not play much into it. Please don't push anything, I guess, and nothing that promotes proshipping or any kind of literally illegal pairing. If you dislike any direction taken ship-wise for this blog, then block me and move on with your day.

Roleplaying: While I'd prefer to not be in direct contact with other rp blogs, I am totally cool with roleplaying side stories and stuff, interactions and such! Please keep in mind though, Unpleasant in this is not a very social person, so you're probably not going to get the reaction you want.

Also! I think OCs are super cool and am happy to respond/interact with them as well! However,

PLEASE DON'T SEND YOUR GRADIENT OCS TO THIS ACCOUNT IF YOU WANT ME TO DRAW THEM! Please instead send them to @hexational! A lot of people were sending me their Gradient ocs to the previous Unpleasant account, and as much as I love seeing Gradient ocs and Gradient sonas, I'd love to be able to draw them, and if you are just asking an opinion on them and not an in-character ask or a genuine question involving other gradients I'd much prefer you send them to the account previously tagged!

That's pretty much all I can think of! Sorry for the long post, I just have a lot to say hehe

Lots of love, - Hex

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a bit of a personal question, so if you don’t want to answer this, I completely understand!! no hard feelings at all! long story short, I’m demisexual, and I just entered my first real relationship. My girlfriend lights me up inside in a way I’ve never experienced before, but being demi I have no sexual or romantic experience and I’m a little stressed about First Times. Do you have any tips on how to relax? Or at least how to be comfortable with that unfamiliar territory? Your little tidbits about your relationship with B really opened my eyes to my own situation, so I thought I’d maybe see if you had any tips for me. Thanks in advance!!

First: Congratulations! That's super exciting!

Second:

Talk 👏 to 👏 her👏 (!!!)

My partner and I talked A LOT before even the slightest hanky-ing of panky-ing occurred. (In fact, our first conversation about it consisted of me telling him I likely would not enjoy sex and wasn't willing to submit myself to things I did not enjoy anymore and him being like, "ok, no sex, then." Which gave me the time and inclination to feel things out further.) So, when I got to a place where I was like, "ok, conceptually, I do actually like the idea of physical intimacy with you, I'm just not sure I'll enjoy it in practice," we kept talking! I told him things I thought he should know about the past experiences I'd had that might color things we did. I told him about how anxious I was because this mattered in a way that was new and scary (because I was in real actual love and, as you might imagine, not handling it well). I let him ask questions and we made a plan to try things slowly in a low-stress, no-expectations kind of way. It was super valuable A. in making me feel like we were approaching an unfamiliar territory together rather than me entering it by myself and B. it apparently eased a lot of my partner's concern that he'd do something to hurt or scare me when he knew what was off-limits, what was ok, and what we'd need to figure out.

I'll be real with you. Our "first time" sucked. I was a nervous wreck. He called things only shortly after they'd started and was like, nope, time to cuddle and watch a movie instead. And the fact that we'd talked about this probably happening, and him confirming the initial promises he'd made that he wouldn't push me, and he wouldn't get mad if nothing sexual actually happened--that made me a lot less nervous during the next attempt. And each time was an improvement until things were, you know, better than I ever could have imagined. Fireworks. Rainbows. The whole 9 yards. It just took a lot of talking to get there.

Also, people seem to think that talking about sex-- test results, dislikes, preferences––is somehow not sexy. But I found it to be the opposite. 1. I love planning things. So knowing what "the plan" is ahead of time is very nice. 2. Talking about an action before trying it out can be... titillating. Let's say.

Anyway. Communicate! If she's as awesome as she sounds, she'll be honored and pleased to tackle the situation with you rather than being a part of the thing that's giving you anxiety.

[gotyouanyway]

ok some new episode thoughts now that it's sinking in

belinda is the new love of my life i want to see her on my screen all episode every episode forever

fifteen is definitely now my 2nd favourite new who doctor after eleven. nobody gets to be first until their run is finished tbh but i LOVE him

i really liked belinda not directly questioning the existence of alien robots or anything. the new who universe has shifted a bit away from hard and fast reality lately, and i'm glad we're still sticking with that shift in tone and canon. so some things can largely be taken for granted on modern earth now and we don't have to keep starting at "aliens are real", which is refreshing and interesting. rtd2 earth continues shaping up to be a consistent, just-off-reality world. really feels like living in a story world now, not our own world. not explaining it super well and i have more thoughts on this but later

missbelindachandrabombs made me laugh out loud. such a great stupid bit

absolutely CLASSIC rtd whiff at the end. we're back on the pop culture politics word salad and i'm not even remotely mad, i just think it's funny at this point. it's got a sort of "old guy who doesn't get it but he's trying" charm. bless his heart

ALL THE TIME STUFF!!! WELCOME BACK BLINOVITCH LIMITATION EFFECT WELCOME BACK LAWS OF TIME WELCOME BACK TIME FRACTURES

the scene at the end when the diplomas touched was SOOOO GOOD hellooooo extended dreamy time distortion sequence!! "i just went through your entire life like a bullet" DELICIOUS!!

loving the costume and set designs as well, and the consistency in future robot design, and the camp ai generator design was awesome

i was ready to be deeply in love with sasha 55 i already had a crush i miss her. bring her back rn

i'm lovinggggg belinda and fifteen's relationship and conflict so much already, i love how uncomfortable i felt seeing him launch into his little spiel + how insincere his apology felt when she pushed back. i think they're going to be crazy good together in so many ways and i can't WAIT to see it

mrs. fucking flood

earth blowed up :(

[dock57]

{I’m going to blame Tumblr for this one- but this post WAS a reply to one of the Asks I got but, it seem to have remove the ask itself all together? So if the writing is odd, that’s because this was originally an ask reply.}

[I actually been wanting to talk about the animation of Monkey Wrench for some time. Apologize to the low quality video, Tumblr has a 5 MB size limit...

I record the beginning snip of when we first meet Shrike, because the detail to detail and the flow of movement in this scene is one of my favorites.

There are many reasons why I love Monkey Wrench, the animation is one of the main reasons why I got into this show.

At the time, I was really getting into the Indie Animation episodes that people were making, and majority of them being good, there was not one I saw that really spoke to me and what I enjoy. So when my friend mentioned Monkey Wrench, I am BLOWN away that this series was an Indie Animation and not studio created.

I know I saw Glitch Studio TADC before Monkey Wrench, and I love that one very much as well, but 3D animation isn't always my preferred style. Don't take that the wrong way, it has awesome animation and a very fun style, but I tend to be drawn towards 2D styles, as 2D artwork is just what I enjoy!

I could go on and on about the style of the show, but I want to try and stay focus on the animation itself to keep this post a tad shorter. I will say, I do not know a whole lot about animation and its terms, as its a spotty field I done little of.

However, I love the use of "short cuts" you might refer it to that is use to make the animation so slick and clean. From using smears to flashing, it really helps the animation to continue having this flow and consistency without needing to animate every little detail or movement. That shouldn't be a surprise though, as a lot of the artists who work on Monkey Wrench have great animation experience, but of course, Zeruel as well who has been doing animation for a long time- has a lot of experience in the industry too. The series has great timing and movement.

Like with episode four, I honestly forgot that the episode was suppose to be more of an "animatic hybrid." The animation was needed in where it had to be, on scenes that were focused, such as the fight scenes and when characters were speaking. If there were times if animation was "choppy" I never saw it or know a moment where the quality felt like a downgrade. It was still just as inviting and interesting like the last three episodes.

Also loves Zeruel's obsession with "floating" and "flowy" animation, such as the sheets in this snip, or when Beebs and Shrike are on their ship and the hair and tentacles on them are moving due to having zero gravity. I actually become quite memorized by that myself.

When I describe Monkey Wrench to others, I always say its like an early 2000s cartoon love letter, as in it reminds me of cartoons from that time, but, better. A refresh is sometimes another way I would describe it.

I will say that doing animation alone is. So time consuming and takes SO SO MUCH WORK. I done a few short like, few seconds animatics and my goodness, it took me a few days to finish those (though, this is coming from someone who also has ZERO animation skills as I have yet to take the time to learn it). So doing a full episode? Alone? That's a lot. Its SUPER impressive. Though, not ideal when creating a series... I hope Monkey Wrench continues to receive more funding so the animation can be distributed more, as well where the artists are paid nicely too!

The passion is incredible... So I hope that more can join along the "Monkey Wrench" crew and continue animating and creating the series! Monkey Wrench is by far, the series I really really would love to see continue on as I am very invested in its story and characters.]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

So this is another "my vagina's/vulva's orgasm behaviour is confusing to me" question, but I did not find this explicitly in the faqs. So I have a vagina that js probably pretty standard. I get an orgasm pretty easily when I use a vibrator/massager or similar sex toy. I cannot, however, get myself off using my hands. Neither can my partner. We do fingering, oral or penetrative sex, all of which I enjoy a lot, even though I never (literally never) orgasm if no toy is involved. My partner and I are a bit curious as to why getting an orgasm with a toy is so easy for me, but so far, literally no other technique we tried that doesn't involve a vibrator has worked. I'm always having fun when we're having sex, I don't feel pressured about getting off, and my partner is very attentive and has tried many different things during sex. So my question is: Can you sort of "numb" your clitoris if you use toys too often? I've started masturbating pretty early, but I always used mechanical helpers, for example an electrical toothbrush. And I've been entertaining this weird theory that this has maybe led my nerves to only react to quite strong and strictly repetitive stimulation. But maybe this is ridiculous? Do you know anything about this? Coming due to my partner fingering me or going down on me or maybe even during penetrative sex would be something I'd like very much (and also being able to masturbate without toys would be a practical skill to have) so I'm wondering why this is not working so well. I love your blog btw and I've learned so much reading through your asks! Thank you for taking the time to answer so many questions!

hi anon,

you've actually pretty much nailed it! while you can't numb your clitoris, you can teach your body to respond only to particular types of stimuli - some people find themselves only able to get off in certain positions, for instance, or, as in your case, with a very specific intensity and repetition. vibrators are great for a lot of people who have difficulty with orgasm strictly because they deliver such powerful, consistent stimulation! and that's awesome, but it can also make it difficult for the comparatively weak and unpredictable human body to compare lmao.

I'm super glad that you and your partner are already in a place where you feel secure in the way sex works for you, rather than taking the need for a vibrator as a kind of shortcoming (... no pun intended). I think that puts you in a really good place to start experimenting and trying new things together and have fun doing it!

if you want to learn how to get off minus a vibe, there's really on foolproof solution: get that vibrator out of there. not for solo or partnered sex; from now on it's body parts only. that may mean no orgasm for a while, but it sounds like you already have a really good attitude about that, so I hope that won't be too much of a bummer during the adjustment period!

it may take a while, but what I'm hoping for it giving your body a nice long break deprived of stimulation that intense to help it grow more sensitive to touch from a hand, mouth, or other body parts. don't put too much pressure on yourself to be orgasmic right away; just try out different things, pursue new sensations, and try to be playful and pressure-free. even if it doesn't result in orgasm, I hope it can be a fulfilling and fun experience that lets you learn new things about how you like to be touched and experience sensation.

also, pro tip: if you go long enough without using a vibe there's a very good chance you will, in scientific terms, nut yourself senseless pretty immediately when you reintroduce it, so that's something to look forward to.