#it’s funny how y’all think they’re gonna magically break up after all this

[bidisasterforzutara]

“Zenyuki won’t be endgame! They never spend any time together and they have completely different goals!!!”

The different goals:

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 1

We're SO Back

School is back in session y’all!!!!

Fantasy High has returned to us after a long break and I am thrilled to come out of my recapping hiatus to bring back the Report Card for Junior Year! You know I could let my favorite chaotic high schoolers go un-analyzed! 

This episode wastes no time in getting started so neither will I. Brennan makes what I think is a very strong narrative choice by starting us in media res at the end of a classic Bad Kids adventure. It is the summer between Sophomore and Junior Year and the party has spent the last four months hot on the trail of the dreaded Night Yorb.

We catch up to our Intrepid Heroes in the Red Waste and they’re trying to catch up to the Night Yorb which is a big, eldritch, manta ray like monster who threatens to plunge the entire world into darkness, creating a very slow (but still effective!) apocalypse! The Night Yorb is flanked by its groupies, made up of members of the many cults dedicated to it (collectively known as “Yorbies”).

As I said, the Bad Kids are hot on its trail, in (and on) the Hangvan. Gorgug (who has been leaning more into his Artificer vibes lately) has outfitted the top of the Hangvan with a solar lasso that can be used to capture and reel in the Night Yorb so that Fig and Adaine can defeat it with a magical sigil. I’m gonna quickly run down where everyone is and what they’re doing:

Adaine and Fig are both standing on top of the Hangvan in order to spring the sigil when the time comes. Adaine is also joined by Boggy and a new addition, Moggy the Doggy (aka, Mordekainen’s Faithful Hound), which is a very round, very cute, very invisible Pomeranian looking dog. 

Gorgug is also up top with them because he’s manning the solar lasso. 

Fabian is inside the Hangvan along with Baby (aka Wretchrot, aka Fig’s screeching blood imp who has no mechanical benefit unless she takes another level of Warlock as Brenan keeping reminding us) and Ecaf, a mirror with a sultry voice that Fabian is *heavily* flirting with, much to everyone’s discomfort. It’s tres Narcissus. (Also, ha, Face backwards. I see you Brennan).

Kristen is in the back with Fabian and Riz is driving, even though he is WAY too small to effectively be driving a Gorgug sized van. 

The Hangman–Fabian’s trusty motorcycle/hellhound–is out in front of the Hangvan.

Also Squeem is on the roof with the others! Beloved, fan favorite Squeem!

Yeah, so this episode does a thing of pretending like we’re jumping into the last episode of an arc that we’ve seen every episode of and introducing characters in a very Sam Reich, “He’s been there this whole time” way even though it’s their first appearance. I think it’s very funny and it reminds me of that Community episode where they’re all flashing back to episodes that never aired. But anyway, I mention this so that if I mention a name and you’re like “Whomst?” it’s probably just a bit, you’re not forgetting a major character.

Anyway, we’re joining this chase already in progress which means our kids are hurt and down spell slots but their opponents are as well. The distribution is pretty uneven–Adaine is way less hurt than Fabian and Kristen for instance, which honestly checks out (curious how they decided on that though). 

Because this episode is just one big battle sequence for the most part, I’m going to follow the precedent I set in the recaps for The Seven and just give the highlights in bullets and then do an analysis on where all the Bad Kids are right now at the end:

Murph comes in hot, using his first action of the new season to shoot his gun and doing 30 points of damage with a 27 to hit. New year, new Murph! 

Siobhan invokes the corn cuties debacle from fight one and all the falling off the tables that happened. Clearly, a bit of Adaine’s oracle energy is rubbing off on her because the next thing that happens in that Fabian decides to jump on top of the Hangvan to cast Faerie Fire on the Night Yorb (which has shrouded itself in magical darkness), rolls the first Nat 1 of the season, absolutely eats it, and gets run over by Riz–narrowly avoiding going down. He’s ultimately fine–The Hangman comes and picks him up–but it’s not a very auspicious star from Master Fabian. 

Emily and Murph have a cute moment of womping Brennan back to back by using Silvery Barbs to make him reroll two attacks on the Hangvan–one of which is a crit–and then giving each other the advantage on the next roll.

Kristen is a real pillar in this encounter–holding up the Circle of Power spell that allows her friends to ignore big chunks of damage that absolutely would have dropped them. But throughout the entire fight, her patron goddess, Cassandra, keeps trying to talk to her and Kristen keeps leaving her on read–we’ll get more into that in a bit. 

Adaine comes in clutch with a Nat 1 portent roll to stop the NIght Yorb from resisting Gorgug’s attempt to reel it in further. Truly, the best time to roll a Nat 1 in this game. Divination Wizards are awesome!

We learn that “Don’t Speak of the Night Yorb” is more than just a silly bit when Fig realizes that saying its name makes it heal up which isn’t great because they’ve been *very* cavalier about invoking its name. 

Squeem gets a big emotional goodbye with Gorgug on top of the Hangvan, heroically leaps off to fend off some Yorbies…and then rolls a 2 and totally faceplants. No! Squeem! Beloved fan favorite Squeem! They already had to revivify you once! 

On the Night Yorb’s turn, Brennan does an attack and shakes so many dice that it sounds like maracas. It’s 61 points of damage and squishy wizard Adaine goes down, but everyone else stays up–large in part due to Kristen’s aforementioned Circle of Power. (Siobhan, describing how bad her saving rolls were zings two separate friends saying, “It was Fabian level nasty. I fucking Murph’d it.”)

Luckily, Fig and Gorgug are up on the roof with Adaine so she does not go sliding off the van when she goes down. They catch her before she can fall. 

At this point the Van has sustained a lot of damage so Murph reminds the teacher that they have homework/Brennan that they have to roll for a mishap. That turns out to be the breaks blowing out. Now, all the Van can do is accelerate! It’s just like the movie Speed!

Two more characters who we totally know and have been here this whole time show up to help–Balthazar and Duggan McCann! A cool grizzled veteran and a centaur cowboy. Riz immediately starts doing cool guy banter with them because he’s somehow convinced them that he’s cool (which he is for the record, just in a completely different way lol). Unfortch, Baz almost right away gets eaten by the NIght Yorb. Who’s gonna take care of his litter (?) of parrots?????

 At this point in the fight, everyone gets a ping on their crystals, reminding them that school starts in three days. This stresses everyone out more than the fight that they’re currently in. 

Fig brings up Adaine with a Healing Word but she immediately has to do Wis save with the rest of the party. She and Fabian fail, but once again Fabian is saved by fear negating effects of his dad’s eyepatch. So Adaine starts to have a panic attack about the fact that she’s fighting the Night Yorb while standing on the roof of a moving vehicle which, real talk, very normal and valid reaction. In fact, probably concerning that she’s reached a point in her life where that *isn’t* the default reaction. 

The Hangvan is coming up on a jump it’ll have to make to continue following the Night Yorb (and it can’t even try to stop because the brakes are cut). Riz fails the roll which means that the van is probably going to fall on its side. Adding insult to injury, a pillar of rock falls and is going to crash into the van, doing even more major damage. 

Fig watches this, and almost dissociates, feeling the weight of the entire summer taken from them to do this quest. Feeling so so tired. Feeling the fact that even if they win, they’re just gonna have to go back to school and adventure some more. A piece of magic she’s been holding inside of for a long time flickers and she hears an enticing voice whisper in her ears. “If you would take me, you know what you would save.” She smells a sour, curdled scent and she knows that if she says yes, she can save her friends. Maybe there’s another way, but she just wants this to be over. “I’m yours,” Fig says. 

There’s a flash of “lemony, yellow, creamy” light (hmmmm) and the rock stops falling. The Hangvan starts righting itself.

And then there’s a sick gurgle from Fig’s stomach. 

Uh-oh, gang. 

For those of you who are new to these recaps, every week, I give one PC Detention and put one on the Honor Roll for their in-game actions. We’re starting off hot this semester with:

Detention 

Kristen Applebees for Being a BAD Friend to Cassandra 

Like, OK. Faith is complicated. Kristen’s relationship with religion is complicated. Being a cleric is complicated. But notice that I didn’t say being a bad *cleric*. I said being a bad *friend*. To be clear, she’s also being a bad cleric, and I’ll talk about that later. But having understandably conflicted views on religion doesn’t make sliding in your Fantasy Airpods while the being who is essentially a lonely teen girl and who is keeping you and all your friends alive tries to talk to you NOT seem like a giant dick move. Come on girl, get it together. 

Honor Roll

Brennan Lee Mulligan for Being a Great DM!

I realized as I was writing this that I’ve given Brennan Detention but never Honor Roll so he’s getting it today. It feels so good to have him back in the dome with the kids and he drew me back into the world, right away. I’m so psyched that we have a full season of this ahead of us! 

CHARACTER CHECK-INS

Like I said earlier, because this is the first episode back, I want to really quickly check in with all of the Bad Kids and where they are, character-wise. I’m going to do this roughly from least concerning to me to most concerning to me. 

-Adaine: Adaine seems like she’s living her best life. She has her frog! She has her dog! Her character art is so much more chill and she’s coming into her own. This season, I’m hoping we get to see more of her relationship with her sister (yes, I’m a predictable bitch. Sue me) and with Zayn (who is also living at Mordred in her tower) who I think has a lot of potential to be an interesting supporting character with more spotlight. But yeah, go Adaine! 

-Gorgug: Gorgug is making his parents proud (not that they ever weren’t) by taking another artificer level. He’s not a 7/3 Barb/Art split. I love that he’s gone from calling himself dumb to taking on this very technical skill. He also apparently has a homunculus? Fascinated to see what that looks like. 

-Riz: Now that his big investigation is over and he knows his dad is a cool secret agent, Riz has switched his subclass from Inquisitor to Arcane Trickster which means he’s got tons of gadgets and that he’s a ring guy now. Love that for him. He’s very much not a chill person though so I’m very curious to know what the next thing he’ll latch onto is. He the kind of guy who always need something going on, you know? 

-Fabian: Fabian is a fancy, dance boy now (6/4 Fighter/Bard)! But that doesn’t mean he’s any less athletic. I mean, have you ever seen a male ballerina? He still is, however, a total disaster. And I mean that affectionately. I mean, his current love interest (?) is a mirror that is showing a fuzzy reflection of his own face. My guy, what are you doing? Although I will say, idk if that’s more or less toxic than him dating Aelwyn. 

-Kristen: Kristen. GIRL. 

OK, so first of all. There is nothing inherently wrong with getting super jacked and like, respect. But in this context it feels like a red flag. Like the kind of thing you do because you’re on the rocks with your girlfriend or if you’ve recently broken up. I will be *very* interested to know what Tracker is up to as she’d not mentioned in this episode. Last we heard, she was out doing cleric stuff for the Moon Goddess, right? Long distance can be hell on a relationship. (Also, idk how seriously we’re supposed to take this but Ally mentioned the one shot it happened in in this episode so Kristen was also totally trying to flirt with a college girl in that college visit oneshot. Brennan shut it down pretty quick, but it very much did happen). 

Also, speaking of cleric stuff, Cass. I feel SO bad for Cass. Like, a god isn’t owed followers, but Kristen chose that role. She CHOSE it. This isn’t like a Helio situation. Cass wasn’t pushy. She specifically says in this episode that she doesn’t want to be pushy. Hell, she says in the episode where she’s introduced that if people don’t want her around she’ll go away. But Kristen chose to be her follower, knowing what the implications of being the sole follower of a goddess is. Cass is made in her image. That’s how deeply entwined they are. Her goddess is made in her image. In The Seven, we learn that Ost’s god hasn’t talked to anyone in years. Kristen has Cass coming in like a mom offering snacks mid battle and Kristen is leaving her on read! It’s honestly kinda hard to watch her be so blithely dismissive of someone so dependent on her even though it’s played off as kind of a joke. I felt like I was watching a loyal puppy get kicked every time they interacted. 

And like, I said this before, Cassandra is made in Kristen’s image. But specifically, she looks like Sophomore year Kristen. Still all skinny and still in her tie-die shirt and shorts. There is a definite vibe of almost wanting to kill the part of yourself that embarasses you, you know? It feels like she's being mean to Cass but also to herself. 

Also, mechanically speaking, it’s wild to be just ignoring the person you’re getting your powers from like this. Like, this is real Wizard behavior. You don’t have to answer to anyone if you studied for your magic but you absolutely do as a cleric. Does Kristen even want to be a cleric? It honestly doesn’t seem like it. She’s shown a pattern of behavior of chafing at every god put in her path, even the ones she literally made up. I thought Cass might be the end of her searching, but we’re right back on the Merry Go Round. The party absolutely needs a healer though so idk how she deals with that. 

I saw the snipped clip of Ally’s interview about Kristen’s arc this season involving what happens when chaos stops being cute, and I can def see seeds being planted. Fascinated to see how they explore that because this feels like a real ticking time bomb of a situation. 

Oh also, her Dex went DOWN????? GIRL!

Fig: I had a lot more to say about Kristen but Fig has to be last on the list for making a deal with a literal devil lol. Like, classic Fig though, right? This WOULD happen. Emily talked about potentially retiring Fig and getting reeled in by some enticing plot hook from Brennan and it feels like we might be about to find out what that is. I won’t speculate on it too much right now because we’re presumably about to find out but there were a LOT of yogurt themed adjectives when that magic activated which has me very split on whether this is about to be deeply concerning or deeply silly. Or both! It could be both! 

Random Thoughts

I LOVE that we have a proper theme song now. It feels so fitting and I love the opening art and it’s all so cool. The show’s so profesh now!

Also, shout out to @caitmayart for making the new art! It has the quality of a professional and the extra love of a fan. It’s my fave D20 official art so far. 

I don’t know when this feature was added but I love that there is a full transcript you can pull up and search and jump to that time in the video now. That’s gonna be SO useful for me. 

One of my favorite things about Adaine is that she’s generally polite but occasionally she’ll just absolutely verbally decimate someone so casually and this episode she said to the Solesian Yorbie they encountered, “What movie theater were you assistant managing before you decided to become a Yorbie?” Brutal. 

Also love how vehement she was about the fact that Brennan couldn’t touch Moggy, even when she went down. You are absolutely NOT gonna kill that dog Brennan.  

“Object interaction, touch Gorgug’s foot.”

Fig asks Gorgug how they can heal a van and he says, “Take it to a shop for 3-4 days.” Zac, underrated comic genius. 

I really can’t overstate how funny it is that Fabian spends most of this episode flirting with his own reflection. I’ve said this many times but something I love about Lou is that he’s not afraid to make Fabian deeply uncool, even though Fabian’s whole thing is being as cool as possible. 

Kristen says she needs to have an intense conversation with Cassandra when the fight is over and what does that mean? Like a breakup conversation? Which I guess would kill her because then she’d have no followers again? I am, como se dice, concerned. 

Also, just looking ahead, Tracker is also a cleric. A pretty faithful one from what I can tell. I have to wonder what her take on Kristen completely neglecting her goddess and church is. 

I think it’s so funny that Emily was thinking about retiring Fig so she could just ride off into the sunset with her cool rockstar life and awesome girlfriend because Riz’s big thing last year was being worried all his friend would pair up and leave him so for him to accept it and then have his fears validated right away would be like, welp. 

At a certain point, Murph has to roll damage and he rolls 45 out of a possible 50 damage. That’s crazy. Let’s see how long that luck holds.

[meganwasbored]

The Dragon Prince Thoughts Season 2 Episodes 1 and 2

I took a little break because I am sick and feel like crap rn but I finally have the energy and motivation to watch more so I’m back!

Episode 1

-aw what happened to the sparkly hands in the intro

-fire elf things I’m assuming

-is she in Xadia cause there’s elves but also how would she get there before Callum and Ezran

-“you were looking for another good word to describe me, right? Well I consider myself quite daring” I love her

-STOP I FORGOT HE DIDNT KNOW HARROW WAS DEAD

-I’m serious if he never gots to read Harrow’s letter to him I’m done

-is Ellis gonna be with them from now on because I have no complaints

-well at least Viren doesn’t look like a zombie anymore

-“You’re out of order, Lord Viren. Only a king or queen can call for a summit” I totally forgot her name but this girl is awesome

-Phoe-Phoe is literally so pretty like I want her as a pet

-girl why did you have to TELL THEM THAT why can’t they just eat in peace

-“my duty is to prevent humans from discovering this place” well I gotta say you’re doing a bang up job

-ay Bait’s looking a little jealous

-AWWWW

-if they’re trying to make me feel sympathy for Viren it’s not gonna work

-“save it for someone who cares” she’s so done lol

-Zym is literally so cute I wanna die

-y’all chill out it’s a freaking bush

-this show is literally so pretty oh my gosh

-going out on a limb here but I think he’s gonna learn magic guys lol

-Note to self: the old elf lady’s name is Lujanne

-ah yes the classic “I overheard someone else’s advice and decided that it also applies to my situation” love to see it

-the Crow Master seems like a cool guy ngl, even the nameless characters are the best

-ok I get that she’s trying to tell him the truth but like I think he knows he’s human you can stop rubbing it in

-I’m sorry but the way she just picked a rose then dramatically passed out was so funny

Episode 2

-yay the sparkly hands are back!

-“are we gonna fight or is this a talent show” HAHAHAHAH

-“I keep telling people, “sweep the leg” is not a thing in sword fighting!” hehehehe

-Gren is so chill about being in this dungeon

-FINALLY some has an appropriate freak out response to Zym’s cuteness

-someone make this a meme

-Soren feeling really guilty one second and convincing himself he’s doing something good the next is actually really sad I feel so bad for him

-Claudia’s appearance makes her look super cool and dangerous but really she’s just some magic geek who loves cute animals and I love that for her

-she actually has a point like we kill bugs all the time why not get some use out of it

-so like it’s obvious that Callum is gonna learn to do magic on his own the question is does he learn because he finds a way to understand it like Lujanne was saying or does he have some elf in his bloodline or something

-the fact that the main character’s unrealistic crush is usually really cold to them and doesn’t like them but Callum and Claudia are literally besties rn is so refreshing like yes more of this

-has Rayla been just stalking them this whole time they were hanging out like where has she been

-“I can see you believe it. But I’ve known Soren and Claudia for years. You and I don’t have that yet” dang.

-when Soren said “I took no joy in that” after Claudia brought up the zip line and the way he says it sounds like it’s supposed to be funny when really it’s the truth

-“I’m glad my wisdom helped”

“It didn’t, it was wrong”

“Was it? Or was it just differently true?”

Imma start using this whenever someone disagrees with me

-am I supposed to recognize the place in the mirror

-hold up are Callum and Claudia less far in age than I thought cause what was that

-“I know what happened, he’s gone” I knew this was coming so why am I crying

[chidoroki]

Black Clover ch353

Apparently the legendary dragon had the land perpetually covered in yoryoku, so the inhabitants never actually saw the real sky before. I guess it wasn’t really noticeable to us in manga either, but I’m sure if and whenever this moment gets animated the new sky will be beautiful to witness. (kinda reminds me of Juvia seeing the sky for the first time without her rain).

Y’all are just gonna sit back and wait in hopes the Bulls will appear? I mean I don’t doubt them; they’re sure to find someway over here with some crazy method, but then they’ll all have to travel back to Clover anyway. Just seems like more work to me? Can’t we have Asta wash up on the shores like Yami did back in the day? Pfftt, but yeah sure, our boy needs a break anyway. He can worry about judgement day later..

For now, we celebrate! Everyone seems so happy and lively which is good! They deserve to let loose and have some fun. I find it kinda hilarious they’re all gonna feast on the dragon. Sure it was all just laying there dead now and the thing was huge, so all that meat can last them like..several years. Thankfully Lily is getting some proper rest too, but still won’t wake until Lucius is defeated.

We see Ichika ask again about who really killed off the Yami clan, but Ryu’s silence is a loud enough answer to that. And I dunno why but I think Fuji is probably my favorite out of the seven. He just seems so chill playing his biwa and I love it.

I know I should be focusing more on the fact that Ichika apologizes to Asta about speaking ill of Yami, but I simply can’t ignore the fact our boy is actually drinking! Oh Vanessa would be so very proud of him. I desperately want to see the two of them celebrate together now.

The whole Charmy resemblance towards this Ocha-ami doll has me confuzzled, like I thought it looking like our famous big eater was just for shits and giggles. I wasn’t expecting it to have some sort of backstory?? Has Charmy actually been to Land of the Sun once before? Could she get the rest of the Bulls there now since they’re trying to find Asta? Or is this all a bunch of nonsense and the real Ocha-ami is someone completely different? Maybe a real distant relative on Charmy’s dwarf side, or whatever side of her has the food magic? Charmy is such a big mystery, I dunno, it’s all rather silly to think about but still funny to me.

Not gonna lie but Jozo looks kinda nice without his mask? I assume he wears it to hide all those scars and to better fit the mysterious ninja persona we’ve seen from him already, but I like it. He kinda reminds me of Gabimaru from Hell’s Paradise, which is weird how I even thought of him considering I’ve only seen him from trailer previews? But oh my god, please let Yosuga and Mereoleona meet up! Imagine the fight they would get into! (she’d probably wipe the floor with him).

Soon after Daizaemon suggests Asta take a dip in the hot spring and seeing our boy all bare was certainly not on my list of things I’d wanted to see. Though I did get the reminder of the giant scar across his chest he received at the start of this arc. Poor lad needs to stop getting hurt so much. And as per hot spring tradition, ya can’t visit one without some kind of fanservice happening, so Asta unexpectedly runs into Ichika (due to Daizaemon’s forgetfulness). Thankfully Ichika’s embarrassment and Asta’s quick getaway spars him of any harm. For now.

Asta wastes no time to apologize the next morning like the good boy he his and we’re back at it again with some more upcoming training. With the way the chapter ends, it reminds me of how the six month training in Heart was handled, so hopefully we time skip right to judgement day, or at least back to Clover and the other Bulls to see what they’ve been up to the past couple days.

But ah, how great this was. Finally a chapter that gave me stuff to ramble on about for more than a couple sentences! The fight was nice and all but I very much enjoyed seeing the seven and Asta all chill out for once.

[mypoisonedvine]

Seeing Red | bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x actress!reader (part 8)

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7)

series summary: bucky used to brag that he didn’t have a celebrity crush, or really care about famous people at all, which is what made him the perfect person to start working for a celebrity like yourself.  except, of course, it’s just his luck that he’d fall for you.

word count: 3k

warnings: smut (semi-public sex), possessiveness (some sexual, some not), jealousy, some fluff and some angst, also some violence (including a very small amount against the reader, proceed with caution), mentions of infidelity in a previous relationship

a/n: oh y’all thought it was gonna be smooth sailing from here on out? lol

You didn’t want to abandon Bucky to do carpetside interviews, but he refused to get anywhere near a hot mic so you let him go while you walked over to a reporter you recognized; she’d been nice before, probably would be again this time, so you were a little relieved to see her tonight.

She introduced you to the camera and you were slightly spaced out until she turned to you and got your attention again.  “So, you’ve been making a lot of headlines lately for your new relationship— what’s the scoop?  How’s it going?” she asked playfully, pushing the microphone into your face.

“Uh, great,” you breamed, “he’s my date tonight and he seems to have disappeared to…” you turned around to look for him.  “Oh, he’s talking to... is that... Laurence Fishburne?”

“James, is that his name?” she prompted, making you focus your attention back on the interview.

“Um, yeah,” you nodded, the name sounding a bit foreign, “legally, but he goes mostly by his nickname Bucky.”

“Aw, that’s cute,” she smiled.  “He’s, uh…” her eyes widened a bit and you laughed.

“Yeah, he is,” you smirked.  “I assume by that facial expression you mean ‘crazy hot.’”

“I mean, in the politest way possible… yeah,” she giggled.

“Yeah, no, don’t pretend not to notice for my sake, cause, yeah, it’s… apparent.”

“Apparently he was your driver first?” she pressed.

“Yes!” you beamed, and then heard the way it sounded and backpedaled slightly.  “I promise that’s not why I hired him.  I actually didn’t meet him before he was on my team, but, I mean, I wasn’t mad to have some eye candy in the front seat.”

“Eye candy, huh?”

“But he’s so much more than that, that’s the thing,” you explained.  “We became good friends first, because he’s so smart and funny and kind and… I mean, I know he looks tough, and he is, but he’s really very sensitive underneath the slightly intimidating exterior.”

“Hard shell, soft center, sweet— he really does sound like candy!”

“Indeed,” you nodded.  “Gotta run but it was nice to chat!”

You dashed over to Bucky and clung onto his arm.  “Oh, hey, we were just talking about you,” he beamed.

“Loved you in After Midnight,” Mr. Fishburne smiled and even you were totally starstruck.

“Oh, wow, thanks, I loved you in… everything…” you trailed off, internally scolding yourself for the vague and useless compliment.  He was about to respond but was pulled away by some member of his team, giving you and Bucky a quick wave as he began a carpet-side interview.

“That was Laurence Fishburne, wasn’t it.” Bucky mumbled to you in a stunned monotone.  

“Yes, what were you doing talking to him?” you asked, amazed at his bravery to approach such a huge star.

“He came up to me, to congratulate me on… on dating you, I guess…”

“Or he mixed you up with Brad Pitt,” you shrugged.

“Yeah, if Brad Pitt lost all his money, spent a decade in the desert, went loco and buzzed all his hair off,” Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Oh come on, you look great,” you soothed him, straightening his tie.  “Wanna go take some pictures?”

“I’m a little scared,” he admitted with a shy smile.

“It’s easy, just give them that sexy brooding look you do so well.”

Bucky smirked pridefully.  “You think so?”

“Totally.  You’re a natural,” you assured.

You tugged his arm and guided him to the carpet, letting him lead the way (or look like he was leading the way) as you found a clear spot and noticed how the cameras instantly flashed faster and brighter.  Photographers called your name to get your attention, and you waved and smiled and pulled Bucky closer.  The feeling of his arm around your waist was warm and comforting, and you hoped holding you had the same effect for him.

“Where are you looking?” you asked.

“At you,” he answered.

“Bucky,” you giggled, “you’re supposed to look at the cameras!”

“I honestly can’t, it’s blinding,” he frowned.

“Here,” you sighed, pointing out into the darkness just above the sea of flashing lights.  “Look out there.”

“I can’t see anything!”

“I know, but, look as if there was something there to look at, trust me, it helps.”

You adjusted slightly a few times, turning a little to show off the low back of your dress.  You almost gasped when Bucky held your face and kissed you suddenly, but you were happy to melt into it even as you heard the cameras flash even more aggressively, some whoops and hollers coming from the crowd on and off the carpet.

He pulled back and you wanted to chase him for more but you realized it wasn’t the right time.  

“Let’s go inside,” you offered, guiding him the rest of the way down the carpet— mainly because you were afraid you’d end up jumping his bones right here in front of everyone.

He nodded and followed close by, arm resting on your shoulder the whole time, and just as you saw one of your friends and thought you might want to go over and introduce her to Bucky, you saw who she was talking to.

Sam.  

Seeing him always made your heart stop.  At first, it was because you were starstruck by him, in awe of his talent, amazed that you were going to be working with someone you admired so much.  Then it was because you had fallen for him and he had gladly swept you off your feet, bringing you into a whirlwind romance that at the time had felt like the only thing that mattered.  But since the break-up, and now, it was something else.  Fear wasn’t the word, it’s not like you were afraid of him in a literal sense, but there was this anxiety, this tenseness to seeing him.  It always brought back memories— the best and the worst, all at once.  Nights laughing together, sharing secrets, stealing glances and touches and kisses; nights spent alone staring at a phone that never rang.  Limbs tangled together between the sheets, that warm brown skin encompassing and surrounding yours; laying side by side in a bed that isn’t empty but is still plenty cold, seeing the way he angles his phone away from you and wishing you had the strength to just leave because you already knew what he was doing.  The first time you said ‘I love you.’  The first time he said ‘it won’t happen again.’

“You alright?” Bucky asked, tearing you from your thoughts.  You looked away and met Bucky’s gaze, hoping he either hadn’t seen your ex or at least hadn’t recognized him.  

“Yeah, I’m great,” you answered quickly, “let’s go get some drinks maybe?  And then I need to show you off to some people.”

“Show me off?” he scoffed.

“Yeah, why did you think I brought you here, really?” you winked.

“Hey, if we’re showing each other off, does that mean you’ll come to my next high school reunion?”

//

You’d been antsy ever since the two of you had come inside; it was obvious from the way you were clinging so much closer to him, and yet it was clear that your mind was a million miles away.

“Hey, it’s starting to wrap up, wanna head out soon?” you asked, trying to act casual, but he saw the way your eyes were darting up to where Sam Wilson was mingling and he knew it wasn’t about getting home early.  Did you really think he wouldn’t notice that you’d seen him?

“Whatever you wanna do,” he shrugged.

“Okay, could you bring the car around for me then?  And I’ll meet you outside?” you offered.  “I should say hi and bye to a few people.”

“Sure,” he agreed, starting to walk away after giving you a quick kiss on the cheek.

And he really did try to do what he said he was going to, but the further away he walked, the more he glanced back to watch you walk across the room, the harder it was to just let it go.  He knew you were going to talk to him, and before he really even decided to do anything about it he found himself circling back around the room, following you.  

He thought he’d lost you when he turned a corner and you were gone, but then he heard voices from a doorway and cracked it open slightly to see you inside with a few other people, nobody he recognized although one of them he’d definitely seen in something before.

He sighed with relief, about to turn and go get the car like he said he would, but then Sam Wilson just had to magically materialize out of thin air as he stepped up behind you and tapped your shoulder.

“Sam!” you blurted out, spinning to face him with wide eyes.

“Hey,” he greeted, acting all suave and shit, making Bucky’s blood boil.  “You look great.”

“Oh, thanks,” you mumbled, “you too.”

“You’ve been all over the internet lately, making quite the splash,” he recalled with a contemplative nod.  “You and this new boytoy you’ve got.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is boyfriend,” you corrected sternly.  

“Honey,” he scoffed as he rolled his eyes.  Bucky couldn’t decide if it was worse to hear him call you a pet name in earnest or with the derogatory tone that he currently had.  “Everybody knows you go through these guys like potato chips.  Especially when they’re not famous— how many PAs did you hook up with on your last set, huh?”

“I don’t roll like that anymore,” you denied.

“That’s not what Jake Friedman says,” Sam smirked.  It actually took Bucky a moment to remember that that was the guy you’d… entertained in the backseat of your car, or maybe it was more that he had entertained you; you seemed to tense up when Sam mentioned him, as did Bucky.  “I mean, sure, he’s not crew, but he’s not famous the way you are.  The way we are.  And neither is your new guy.  He doesn’t ‘get it’, does he?  He doesn’t get what it’s like.  Has he already started freaking out about all the hate online?”

Bucky regretted that he’d ever said anything about that; if he’d known it would come around to prove Sam Wilson right about something, he wouldn’t have done it.  “No,” you lied.

“Well, he will,” Sam assured you, stepping a little closer to you and letting his fingers languidly brush over your arm.  “I made a mistake before, letting you go.”

“Damn right,” you hissed as you pulled away from him.

“But I realized that, and now I’m wondering why we aren’t giving the people what they want.”

“That’s what I never understood about you,” you frowned.  “It’s always about other people with you.  It’s never about you, and it was never about me.”

“But it is about you,” he explained, “and me: us.  You’re forgetting how good we were together.”

You shook your head.  “I was single for years and you never called.  Now you’re all over me with all these regrets about ending it?  Get a grip, Sam.  This is about you wanting what you can’t have.”

“Can’t have?” he repeated incredulously.  “Baby,” he purred— and Bucky decided it was definitely worse to hear him call you that in earnest.  “You know you’re always gonna be mine.”

As you started to shiver, Sam’s arms slipping around your back and grabbing your waist, Bucky felt like he had lost control of his body.  He was watching himself from far away as he stormed across the room, nearly knocking a few people over on the way, and shoved Sam off of you and onto the ground.

“Bucky!” you yelped.  “Bucky, stop!”

“You’d better watch your hands, Wilson, before they get somewhere they’re not supposed to be,” Bucky growled, ignoring you completely even as you helplessly tugged at his suit.  

“Jesus,” Sam spat, “the fuck is wrong with you?”

“What are you doing?” you asked Bucky, irate and confused as you stared up at him with a furrowed brow.  He grabbed your hand and guided you out of the room and down the hall, barely managing to drag you into a random bathroom before he started tearing at your dress, leaving rough bites and kisses down your neck as you gasped and moaned softly.  

“Mine,” he mumbled against your skin, “all mine.  Did you forget?”

“No,” you sighed, “I could never…”

“That’s not what it looked like,” he sneered, hiking up your long skirt to run his fingers over your skin and expose the delicate, lacy panties you were wearing. 

“Bucky, please,” you sighed, rubbing your hips up against his leg, riding his thigh shamelessly.

“What’s got you so worked up, baby?  Is it me, or him?” he asked darkly.

“You, baby, just you, nobody else— I’m yours,” you assured him feverishly, “I’m all yours, please, I need you.”

“Yeah?” he breathed, fumbling with his belt and fly as he pulled his growing cock from his suit pants.  “You need it that bad?”

“Please,” you sobbed, “fuck me.”

He pulled your underwear aside and quickly shoved into you, groaning at the feeling of your walls stretching to welcome him.  “Fuck, angel, so tight,” he sighed, knowing how much little praises drove you crazy.

“Bucky,” you sighed, “oh my god… harder, please— n-need you deeper…”

His hips moved back only to slam back against yours, making you whimper; he smiled when he felt your leg wrap around his waist and try to hold him inside, but he couldn’t slow down now, not when he needed this so bad.

He sucked on your neck as he kept thrusting into you, your wetness coating his cock so thoroughly that he slid right home every time.  It was clear that he was hitting your g-spot from how you moaned with each thrust, your spongy channel pulsing and tightening in rhythmic patterns.

Overcome with the need to assert his, for lack of a better word, ownership over you, he found himself reaching up to hold your throat— not quite in the way to choke you, just to remind you that he could, if he wanted to.

“Did he ever make you come like this?” he asked with a gravelly whisper, lips right against your ear as he tightened his hand around your neck slightly.

“No,” you shook your head, “nobody has.”

“Nobody’s ever loved you this good but me, is that it?  Nobody else has ever fucked you like this?”

“Just you, Bucky, please don’t stop— I’m so close…”

“Do you think they can hear you out in the hallway?  Say my name when you come, princess, just in case they can— I want them to know who’s making you feel this good.”

“Bucky,” you whined, chanting it over and over with a few ‘yes’s and ‘fuck’s interspersed occasionally.  He thrusted faster and harder as he felt his own orgasm building; he needed to come inside you and claim you again, mark you as his one more time, and the flexing of your walls was only egging him on.

“I know you’re close, baby, just let go,” he whispered against your ear, “come for me, just like that, you’re doing so good— fuck, so good for me…”

You whimpered and clutched at his shoulders, a gush of wetness and a final, strong tightening of your inner muscles signaling that you’d reached your peak.  He couldn’t hold back any longer when he saw (and felt) that, groaning as he began to release thick streams of come into you.

The absolute second your afterglow began to fade, you pushed him off of you and grimaced as you adjusted your panties and dress.  "The fuck is wrong with you?"

"Wh— what?" he stammered, breathless and confused.  "What did I do?  Was I not supposed to come inside?"

You gaped at him in shock.  "Do you really not realize what you did?  Bucky, you assaulted my ex-boyfriend."

"I— he'll be fine," he dismissed, "he was putting his hands on you, what was I supposed to do, just let him do it?"

"You were supposed to let me handle it," you hissed.  "You were supposed to be pulling the car around and not spying on me!"

"Spying?!  I was protecting you."

"You shoved him hard enough to knock him over, Bucky, that's not okay."

"Hold on," he shook his head in disbelief, "so you're mad at me, when we just had sex?!  Why didn't you say something before?"

"Just cause it's hot doesn't mean it's okay," you explained, a little embarrassed.

"Tell me something," he frowned, "what is this—" he motioned to the space between the two of you— "to you?  Cause it kinda seems like I think we're boyfriend and girlfriend, and you think—"

"What?  What do I think?" you challenged.  "Go ahead, tell me."

"You think it's just a sex thing."

"Oh my god," you rolled your eyes.

"Well, what am I supposed to think when you get off on me dealing with your ex, and then tell me it's this big terrible thing?"

A sick idea clawed its way out of the back of Bucky's mind: was Sam right about her?  Was Sam right about us?

You crossed your arms and huffed, but didn't respond.

"Was everything that just happened just a fuckin' kink for you or something?  Cause I meant every goddamn word," he growled.

You sighed, like you weren't taking it seriously— like you weren't taking him seriously.  His fist tightened at his side involuntarily.  He'd never felt so used, so ignored; or, at least, he never expected it from you.  "We'll talk about this later," you dismissed quickly.  "Let's just go back there and put on a happy face, okay?"

"Oh, so you can let another guy feel you up?  Sounds like a fucking blast," he hissed.

"Fuck you," you snarled as you pushed him aside to leave the bathroom.

He didn't remember grabbing you, he didn't remember twisting your arm as he pulled you back.  He didn't remember you crying out, trying to wrench yourself away, clawing at his grip on you.  All he remembered was you looking up at him with watery eyes, expression twisted in fear.

"Bucky, you're hurting me," you whimpered weakly, and only then did he notice his metal hand was holding your wrist.  When he let go, he already saw a mark forming in the shape of his hand as you grabbed your freed wrist to rub the damaged flesh.

"I'm sorry—" he began to whisper, but you were already gone.

[yugirl]

Day 18: “This Wasn’t in the Rule Book.”

Crossovers, coffee shops, and canon divergence collide today in the wonderful world of AU! Go nuts.

((Magical girl au? Magical girl au! @pridewhatpride my love?? This is for you!))

~~~~~~~~~

I gritted my teeth and looked up with fear and dread. It was no use… the Light of Destruction was so strong and so powerful.

Jaden was struggling to get up; Bastion was struggling to breathe; Jesse couldn’t move.

But… I couldn’t let it end like this…

“Yellow… Green… Black…” I whispered. My spirit partners appeared and looked in concern.

“What are you gonna do, boss…?!” Yellow squeaked.

“I’m going to keep fighting with everything I have… but I understand if you three don’t… if you want to run… now’s your chance….”

Jaden seemed to see what I was doing and summoned Winged Kuriboh.

“Chazz is right… just because we’re going to keep fighting doesn’t mean you guys have to… so if you want to get out of here, then go….”

Bastion grunted, “there’s no need for you to put yourself at risk if you don’t want to Pikeru… go….”

Jesse looked at the Crystal Beasts. “I’m with them… you’ve all been by my side from start to finish, but I want you to be safe….”

“YOU'RE INSANE!!” Yellow squawked.

“Huh?”

“Sure, I may be a scaredy-cat, but I’m not backing down when we’re this close to the finish line!!”

Green nodded in agreement. “Yeah!! If you’re gonna keep fighting, boss, then we are too!!”

“That’s right!! Brothers stick together!!” Black added.

I couldn’t help but smile “thanks, you guys….”

Winged Kuriboh seemed to mewl in protest as well, nuzzling against Jaden and assuring he was staying.

“Thanks, Pal…” Jaden smiled.

“Yeah! If you losers even think you’re fighting without us, think again!” Pikeru said smugly.

“Thanks, Pikeru…” Bastion chuckled and patted her head.

“Your friends are right, Jesse….” Topaz Tiger nodded.

“we’ve all come so far together, and as you said, we’ve been here from start to end. But it’s not the end yet….” Amythest Cat added.

Jesse teared up and nodded. “Thank you!!”

I used my lighting spear to help myself stand up before turning to help the others up one at a time…

“If this really is the end… I just want you to know…I… I love you guys….” I muttered.

Jaden teared up and nodded. “I love you too!”

Bastion wrapped an arm around Jaden to comfort him. “I love you all as well….”

Jesse teared up too and pulled us all into a hug. “I love you all too!! Thank you so much for staying with me and helping me complete my mission!!”

We hugged each other for the longest time, our hearts burning… no, they weren’t burning; they were glowing.

“What is this!?” I gasped

“Could this be… a new power?” Jesse wondered.

Suddenly four rainbow coloured crystals appeared, a star, a gem, a heart and a diamond.

“This isn’t anything like the rainbow dragon….” Bastion whispered

“That’s because it’s not!” Jaden explained, “I can feel it… this is our power!!”

I looked to my friends… the three boys I met on this journey, and the spirit partners who stuck with us. This indeed was the final battle.

“Everyone… LET’S GO!!”

“Right!!”

The rainbow crystals resonated with each of us. The power was overwhelming.

All of us ascended into the sky,

“SUMMON RAINBOW DUEL SPIRIT FUSION!!”

Thanks to the rainbow crystals, we transformed one last time into new, more powerful forms. It was time.

The light of destruction couldn’t believe that we were still fighting. It thought it had destroyed us once and for all.

“No matter what happens, we’ll always keep fighting to protect those we love!!” Jesse declared

“We want to live and pursue the future!!” Jaden added

“Destruction may always exist, but creation and life are needed to maintain balance!” Bastion stated

“And that’s why we can’t bow down to the likes of you!!” I pointed my spear at him. “We will defeat you once and for all!!”

Jaden charged in first, his new gauntlets glowing with power.

The light of destruction fired a laser towards us in response, but Jaden was having none of it.

“レインボー　コスミククラシ!!”

“RAINBOW COSMIC CRUSH!!”

He punched through it, blasting the light in different directions, leaving earth and us unharmed.

The light was baffled. It couldn’t comprehend this power.

“My turn!!”

Bastion flew towards the light and readied his throwing knives.

“レインボータイダルブラスト!!”

“RAINBOW TIDAL BLAST!!”

The knives surged through space, pinning the light to the spot and rendering it helpless as the power of the elements coursed through it. It had nowhere to run now.

Jesse went next, readying his sword. He was ready to avenge everyone and everything the light had ever hurt.

“レインボークリスタルストリーム!!”

“RAINBOW CRYSTAL STREAM!!”

The rainbow light burst from his sword and started to break the light up. It tried to escape, but it had me to deal with.

“THIS IS FOR EVERYONE YOU’VE MANIPULATED AND HURT!!”

I raised my spear high into the air, Channeling my lightning powers.

“レインボーデルタサンダー!!”

“RAINBOW DELTA THUNDER!!”

The light screamed in pain and agony. It wasn’t done. It conjured up his power for one final attack, but we knew it was on its last legs.

“EVERYONE WITH ME!!”

We gathered together, and with the power of our bond, our weapons fused together, creating a brand new weapon—the Miracle Rainbow Spear.

“Impossible!!” The light snapped, “don’t you know if you use all your power, the worlds will be separated!?”

“Even so… I have a sworn duty to protect both this world and the spirit world…” Jesse reflected “, my friends have shown me the true importance of being the crystal protector, and I will always treasure that… I will never forget that even if we are separated!!”

“People come and go… that’s an unfortunate part of life… but I will not cry when it’s over….” Bastion felt a grin grow on his face, “I will smile because I’ll remember every precious memory we’ve given each other!!”

“No matter what comes between us, we will always be together no matter where we are in one world or another….” Jaden added, holding back tears. “OUR FOUR HEARTS WILL ALWAYS BEAT AS ONE!!”

“It’s funny… when this journey began, I didn’t want anything to do with these guys… but now I don’t want this adventure to end….” I smiled “but I know they’re right!! No matter what happens, we’ll always be together!! I’ll never forget any of this and the friendships we made!!”

Our hearts beat as one as the spear resonated with us. It was time to end this.

“ミラクルレインボーレフラクション!!”

“MIRACLE RAINBOW REFRACTION!!”

The bright colour exploded from the spear charging towards the light, eliminating the white completely

“Stop it!! It’s too bright!! Stop it!!”

I screamed as I thrust the spear forward, charging with one last burst of energy.

“IMPOSSIBLE…. I AM THE LIGHT I AM ALL POWERFUUUUUL” piece by piece it was disintegrated

It was over…he was gone…

The four of us floated through space, relieved it was all over.

“Y’all… thank you so much for your help… I can’t believe it’s all over….” Jesse sighed

“Yeah…” I smiled. “I’m glad we were able to save everyone….”

“Now humans and duel spirits and live in peace….” Jaden nodded

“Indeed, a happy ending all round”, Bastion chuckled.

Suddenly Jesse and the duel spirits started glowing.

“Huh!? Jesse, what’s happening!?”

“It’s time, guys… I’m going back to the spirit world….”

“N-now!? But I thought we had more time!! I thought we’d at least spend more time together!!” Bastion gasped

“Sorry, y’all… I don’t make the rules, my missions over, and now it’s time to go home….”

“You can’t go, Jesse!! There’s still so much I wanted to do!!”

“Jesse, please!! We love you!!”

“I love y’all too!! But remember what we said… we’ll always be together… no matter what… we’ll see each other again… I know it!!”

Winged Kuriboh flew over to Jaden, who eagerly hugged him. “I’ll miss you too, Winged-Kuriboh!”

“I’m gonna miss you!!” Pikeru sobbed

“I’ll miss you too, Pikeru….” Bastion sighed and patted her head “don’t forget me, alright?”

“I don’t think I could ever forget a loser like you….” Pikeru giggled before flying in to hug him.

“BOOOOOOSS!!”

I pulled the Ojamas into a tight hug. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was going to miss them a lot.

“We love you, boss!!”

“I… I love you guys too… take care now, alright…?”

I slowly let go, and the Duel Spirits flew back to Jesse, all returning to their world while we returned to ours…

I don’t remember much after that… the months sort of flew by, and I graduated high school. Bastion left to work with Professor Eisenstein, Jaden disappeared after graduation… That was the last I saw of th-

“That can’t be the end!!”

“Huh?” I looked down to my oldest daughter “what do you mean, Aurora?”

“That can’t be how it ends!!” Aurora protested, “did you really get separated forever!?”

“That’s so sad!!” Rosalie, my second daughter, nodded.

“Uh-huh!” My son Damien agreed.

“Well, I said we got separated. I never said forever….” I mumbled

“S-so, did you get to see each other again?” Rosalie asked.

“I don’t know….” I pulled my kids onto my lap and hugged them “do you want us to see each other again?”

“I do, I do!”

I chuckled and hugged them all close. “Maybe we’ll see each other again….”

I heard the door open and the sound of tired shuffling.

“Oh, let’s see who’s home!!”

Aurora jumped up first and dashed out the door, seeing the three exhausted adults.

“DADDY! PAPA! MOM!”

“Hey, Aurora!” Jesse grinned and picked her up, giving her the biggest hug.

Rosalie ran over to Bastion and hugged him tightly. She was always a papa’s girl.

Damien and I chuckled and walked over to Jaden, both greeting him with a kiss on the cheek.

“How was work?”

“Oh, you know the usual!” Jaden smirked.

I walked over to Jesse and wrapped my arms around him, planting a firm kiss on his lips.

“Mmm, that’s nice! What was that for?” Jesse grinned

“I just missed you a lot today….” I smiled.

Well, it seemed to work. The kids wanted us to meet up again. And we did.

[oh-boy-me]

Alright I'm curious about your take on movie night with the undateables, including Luke since this is non- romance. Snack preferences, what movies they choose, funny stories from movie night. Whatever strikes your fancy with the idea is good with me. Thanks in advance!

Sorry it took a little bit (´ω｀。) It’s my first time working with these characters so I wanted to give it my absolute best

I’m setting this up as individual movie nights so that each character can get the spotlight for a while; I hope that’s ok!  Also, a lot of them somehow ended up in a context of it being the first time you’d hung out one on one lol

Simeon:

It feels like Simeon spends just about all of his time with Luke and Solomon, while you spend just about all of yours with the brothers.  So, you decide to have a movie night to finally spend some time together without having to divide your attention.  Purgatory Hall is the obvious choice of location, since its residents are much more ready to leave you alone when asked.

This angel is a traditional kind of guy, as angels tend to be, so popcorn is the only snack idea that comes to mind.  Traditional doesn’t mean close-minded, though, so he’s more than willing to try out any snacks you bring along.  Actually, he encourages you to bring a bunch of snacks to try out together!  You can have a taste test while you watch the movies!

Simeon likes Hallmark movie-type movies a lot, mainly because they demand little emotional investment.  Movies like horror don’t scare him, but they do stress him out because he wants all the protagonists to get their happy ending!  Another benefit of Hallmark movies is that it’s fun to try to guess exactly what will happen, since they can be so predictable.

Of course, he doesn’t want to monopolize your movie lineup, so if there’s something you want to see he’s all for it.  If you want to go for something more thrilling, he’ll power through it like a champ, but you can see him visibly cringing at some points.

Simeon is lowkey a movie cuddler, but like in a way that still respects your personal space bubble.  He won’t spend the film with you in his arms or anything, but the entire couch is fair game.

Simeon apparently likes to talk during movies–he doesn’t mean to, but the thoughts kind of just come out.  He’s brutally honest about what he’s thinking, so if you’re down with it, talking about and roasting the movie as it’s happening is a load of fun.  “I don’t know MC, I don’t think this guy’s all that great either?  Sure maybe he isn’t completely ignoring her, but look, he obviously has commitment issues; at least her ex was just busy all the time.  Look, Mr. Lone Wolf’s beard is uneven.  Why does she want a man who wants to look rugged but can’t get it right?”

Simeon also will accidentally spoil any movie he’s already seen like this, so you’re best off watching films that are new to both of you.

He knew that you were a nice and fun person, but honestly he’s kind of taken aback by how good you are to be around.  Since the only human he’s usually around is Solomon, talking to one and not feeling like you need to second-guess everything you’re told is a new and welcome feeling.

Before you split for the night, he asks if you’d like to do something like this again.  As an angel, there’s a lot that he hasn’t experienced–a lot of food, a lot of activities, a lot of media–and you’re someone that he feels like he would be comfortable trying new things with.  You can expect lots of texts like, “Hello!  I hope you’re doing wellヾ(＾-＾)ノ Are you free tomorrow?”

Luke:

You probably decide to have a movie night after Luke ends up spending way longer than he expected to in the kitchen at the House of Lamentation.  On the condition that absolutely no demons are to join you two!  Ok maybe Beel and Levi are ok but absolutely no one else!  After a call to Simeon explaining that he isn’t coming back to Purgatory Hall tonight you guys are good to go.

He always brings baked goods when he comes over, plus whatever he was working on in the kitchen, so you’re more than covered!  The majority of it is things like cookies and fudge bark.  They’re easy snacks to grab a handful of.

Luke tries to insist that he wants to watch a movie with lots of violence or a horror film, or any other kind of movie that teenagers sneak into.  He’s doing it because he’s so frustrated with everyone calling him a kid when he’s centuries older than a human will ever be, stop making fun of him!!  For his sake and yours, you should tell him that you don’t want to watch that sort of movie, because if you let him get away with it he’ll get too freaked out in the first 20 minutes.

Most likely you’ll end up having a Disney marathon.  They’re so fun, and since the Celestial Realm is pretty isolated when it comes to cultural exchange, he’s only seen a couple, so you can show him your favorites!  Also, he’s not crying.  No, you saw that wrong.

He starts off on the other side of the couch, one again trying to be mature and shit, but that won’t last long.  Anyone who sees you huddled together like that will be punched in the gut with the sheer level of sibling energy y’all are radiating.  Lucifer almost doesn’t want to mock him.  Almost.

That thing where immediately after consuming a piece of media, you imagine yourself as part of that universe?  Luke loves to talk about that sort of thing.  “If I lived there, I’d have given Gaston a piece of my mind!”  “Ok but if I was a piece of furniture what do you think I’d be?  I can totally see you being a…”

“I think you’d be the footstool that acts like a dog, Luke.”  “Hey, Lucifer, you weren’t invited to our party!!”

You might (will) have to fend off a few nosy demon brothers to protect your demon-free movie lair.  Luke swears that next time you have to come over to Purgatory Hall, but he’s having way more fun here than he’s willing to admit.

He also learns that most of the brothers will listen to you without complaint.  He will definitely keep this in mind.

This kid angel has so much energy, how is he still awake after five movies?  You absolutely have to establish a bedtime because he literally will not go to bed until you do.

Solomon:

It’s quite rare for you to have a break from the seven avatars of attention hogging, so if you’re going to have a movie night, Purgatory Hall may as well be a godsend.

You may want to be careful about getting there, because if Asmo catches wind that you and Solomon are having a movie night without him, he’s going to show up unannounced and then refuse to leave.  Solomon can come pick you up if you need.  Just, he’ll be waiting a block away so Asmo can’t catch up.

Solomon is a “dinner and a show” kinda guy.  He will offer to make dinner.  Do not let him do this.  Either make it yourself or order takeout.

You’ll pretty easily agree on alternating who chooses the movie.  You get the first, he gets the second, you get the third, etc.  Definitely isn’t letting you choose first to lure you into a false sense of security about the DVD in his hand, what made you think that?

Solomon is the kind of person to lie about what sort of movie he’s put in.  “Solomon what is this supposed to be?”  “Oh, don’t worry about it.”  It’s gonna be a weird movie.  You just have to wait and see.

He is going to rip into your movie choices.  He liked how they worked with this, and that was impressive, but these bits?  Did they think they could get away with that?  What was the budget?  Rest assured, though, he expects you to do the same for him.  In fact, he’ll be quite disappointed if you don’t.

He prefers a setup on his bed rather than on the couch.  He’s also one of the ones who keeps to himself in terms of personal space, although that’s not to say that he isn’t relaxed.  Some might say he’s too relaxed, but that’s just who he is: too relaxed in any situation.  On the surface, at least.

As the only humans in the Devildom, some of the night is probably spent reminiscing on how different things tend to be here.  Solomon does feel bad that you in particular have had to make so many changes to your life and habits with no warning.  He has his magic to rely on, so he’s glad you have your reputation of “the human that made a pact with the student council” to keep demons from messing with you.

If you want, he’s happy to let you sleep over so that you don’t have to explain why you’re coming home so late.  He also encourages you to not say anything to your dorm mates.  Wouldn’t it be fun to make them wonder?  They’re always breathing down your neck, aren’t they?  Make them squirm a little bit.  You’re going to get a scolding for sneaking out regardless.  It’s incredibly cruel; you know they worry sick about you more than is called for.  Will you play along?  That’s up to you.  I advise you not to.

Like Simeon felt like he needed to second-guess everything around a bunch of demons and Solomon, Solomon sometimes feels like he needs to keep himself guarded around a bunch of demons and two literal angels.  You, however, are a human.  You have common ground, and Solomon can see how your vulnerability here translates into strength.  He’s not quite ready to admit it but, your ability to survive on character and not power is inspiring to him.  Shortly before you go home/to sleep, he mentions something about himself, and for once it seems like he’s being honest.

Barbatos:

You have the movie night at the House of Lamentation, under Lucifer’s promise that he’d keep everyone else busy.  It’s Barbatos’ first day off in 325 years, and he doesn’t want to take any chances of Diavolo forgetting that fact and giving him an order.

It may come as a surprise, but Barbatos wants nothing more than to order a pizza.  If he managed to get enough time off to have a movie night with you, he doesn’t want to have to think about preparing food.  A single night where he can just hang out and eat less than perfectly prepared cuisine is exactly what he needs to unwind.

Out of habit, he insists that whatever you want to watch is fine.  If you remind him that this is just as much for him as it is for you, he’ll suggest you look up what new psychological thrillers are trending.  Whenever a scary scene is playing on the screen, there’s the tiniest smile gracing his face the whole time.  It’s a little disconcerting, but something tells you that you shouldn’t bring it up.

If you do bring it up against all better judgement, though, he’ll explain that the villain in the film is being so messy.  Given the circumstances, it’d be better for him to do this or that.

“Don’t ask how I know all of this.  I’m just saying, if you find yourself with a body to dispose of, alive or not, you know who to call.”

Time spent with an off-duty Barbatos grows more relaxed as the night progresses.  You split the sofa 50/50, and over time you can see his posture relax from stiff and straight to leaning against the arm with his feet up.

Oh, yes, he’s also brought along a nice bottle of wine to share.  He made sure to get something that should affect demons and humans equally, of course.  If he’s going to get inebriated, you’re going down with him.

Turns out, working for the Demon Prince for all eternity gives you a few grievances.  Also turns out that the Demon Prince’s butler becomes quite loose lipped and downright snarky when he’s had enough to drink.  “‘Which flavor do you think Lucifer would like best?’  I don’t know, My Lord, might I suggest you ask him yourself?  No, no, I hear you laughing, MC!  This happens every time!”

There’s still a movie playing, but why would you watch a movie when Diavolo’s butler is such a gossip?  You definitely know things you shouldn’t by the time the night is over, but you swear an oath of secrecy.  And, although he regrets how liberal he was with his stories the next day, it does feel nice to have some of that off his chest.

And, well, he’s already gone this far, so he hopes you aren’t too surprised when you receive a text from him a week later: “Ok SO.”

Diavolo:

You guys decide to do the movie night at the palace, mainly to avoid Lucifer.  Diavolo wants to get to know you better, and he knows that if Lucifer is around he’ll end up making you the third-wheel.

Barbatos is going to be around, so Diavolo leaves it up to you whether you want to make it a party of three.  (Barbatos is still in on-duty mode, of course, so his time here is much less relaxed than in his solo scenario.)

Diavolo’s read about movie nights in Youthful Fun 101, and he wants to try out the whole snack list.  Popcorn, pizza rolls, sodas, you name it, he’s got mountains of it.

If you suggest also making ice cream sundaes, he’ll be the happiest demon in the entire Devildom.  It seems that the esteemed Demon Prince really loves chocolate sauce.

Really really wants to watch your favorite movie.  What sort of Devildom host would he be if he didn’t get to understand the Human World from his guest’s perspective?  Whether it’s something like Gone with the Wind or something like Barbie in a Mermaid Tale 2, he’s enthralled.  So this is Human World cinema!  There’s something so imaginative about it, even in the driest moments!

After your favorite, he’s got a checklist of iconic movies to get under his belt.  Not all of them end up holding your attention, and you develop a voting system–after the first 15 minutes, you hold a vote on whether to keep the movie going or to move on.  Since there’s only two of you, only one of you needs to like the movie to keep it going, so you give yourselves one immediate veto each.

Diavolo uses his veto on the first movie he wasn’t super into, and you have to keep reminding him that there’s no secret second veto that he can use.  Cut him some slack, this level of democracy is unfamiliar to the future Demon King.  He does end up really liking some of the movies he tried to avoid, so he learns to chill pretty quickly.

Also insists on watching the movies in a massive blanket fort.  He’s not a movie cuddler, per se, but he is an emotional movie watcher, so you can expect him to grab your arm during an especially sweet or sad scene.

You’re going to have to clarify what’s realistic and what isn’t sometimes.  No, that’s not a real animal.  Yes, that event really happened.  That may or may not be true, we aren’t sure.  Diavolo please this is a conspiracy theory.

If you thought that this wouldn’t end up in a sleepover, I don’t know what to tell you.  Maybe you just tried to watch way too many movies and passed out in the fort.  Maybe you tried to call it quits and then he gave you big puppy dog eyes until you agreed to have a slumber party.

Side note, but Lucifer is still recovering from seeing Diavolo’s car appear unannounced at the House of Lamentation and then being told that it’s actually here to pick you up and that he absolutely can’t come along.  Has he been replaced?

Masterlist

[irondad-not-ironsad]

WandaVision Episode 1 Reaction

Spoilers below!!

I enjoy the music over the marvel logo

But also a 43 second logo feels kinda long for a 29 minute episode- is it just for the premier or is this gonna happen before each ep?

Also I’m pretty sure I’ve heard that there is a title sequence, which will probably be similar in length. Combine that with the lengthy credits people have been complaining about, it seems that the percentage of the thirty minutes that is actually the story is lower than it should be

not that I don’t love a good title sequence! But I’ll take a well fleshed out episode over fancy logos, title sequences and credits any day

now that I’ve got that of my chest, on to the actual show

I like how they have the frame shaped like that of an old timey tv, combined with the black and white it really adds to the old timey sit come vibe

I like these bells

Ok I know I complained about to much time being wasted with logos and such, but i LOVE how cheesy this theme song is and I love them showing vision and Wanda driving tp there house in wedding attire

“A regular husband and wife” 2 seconds late *vision disappears into a cloud of sparkles*.... 1 minute 8 seconds in and I love this 

Even there acting is reminiscent of an old timey sit com this is amazing

feel like I should note he title sequence ends at the 1.36 mark approximately, which may not seem like a lot but again the show is less than thirty minutes so it adds up

Wanda talks with a fifties accent: I already love this show

Also I wish I had magic I could use to clean, I’m moving back into my dorm right now and Wanda’s powers would be SO helpful

Also I LOVE the laugh track

Also Wanda’s short curly hair is so cute

I love how neither of them knows what the heart means so they play it off by being like “yeah of course I know what it means, how could I forget? Do YOU remember what it means

Also Vision is literally part computer shouldn’t he have a photographic memory? 

Also how old is Wanda? I could have sworn someone said she was 19 in civil war, which would make her like 21 here? I think?? Idk tho, as a 19 year old I don’t think she has ever looked 19 in the movies, even back in Ultron she looked at least in her mid twenties

The face Vision makes when he makes himself human is so funny

Also Vision blowing Wanda a kiss and her reaching back to grab it is the perfect amount of corny that makes it still cute

Also I wonder what vision’s job is

The backing music is so funny

I can already tell Agnes is going to be some great comic relief in a show that’s already hilarious

“I assure you, I’m married. To a man. A HUMAN one!” I know I’ve said before that I was never the biggest fan of Wanda or Vision but I love Wanda in this show

Obv there is something clearly off here, but I feel like I need to mention that it’s clear this is some warped reality. If I had never seen any of the MCU before, I may believe it was just  witch and her robot husband living in the fifties, but the little details really make it clear to the audience (the majority of whom I am sure are familiar with the mcu) that something is off. This scene is one of those, where Wanda cannot seem to recall how long her and Vision have been together and plays it off by saying “It feels like we always have been together”

Is Agnes giving Wanda advice for the bedroom? is this really what I’m watching? Or have I wildly misinterpreted this?

Love the old timey lingo

Vision working a desk job is so funny

Love that vision doesn’t even know what they do at his job, I know it’s part of the false reality thing but also lowkey relatable

“you’re like a walking computer” “I most certainly am not! I’m a regular carbon-based employee made entirely of organic matter”

I started this like twenty minutes ago and have only gotten 7 minutes in because I keep stopping to type my reactions. I am going to try to shut up and watch, and stop screaming about every little detail for a bit 😂

Real quick though does Vision just go by Vision at work?

Ope apparently he does. 

I wonder if Vision took Wanda’s last name

Or is he Vision Stark-Banner since it was Tony and Bruce who made him??

He probably isn’t called that but I think it would be funny if he was

Love that instead of writing “dinner with boss” or “Dinner w/ Harts” or even just “Harts” he drew a freaking heart like im dying

if my lack of emojis seems weird I’m typing this on a computer which I never normally do and I’m to lazy to pull up the emoji keyboard, so basically imagine there’s a cry laughing emoji after everything funny

“No skeletons in the closet?’ “I don’t have a skeleton sir.”

Yup I was right, Agnes is giving her sexy time advice

“you should stumble when you walk in a room so he can catch you. It’s romantic!” that is the only way I will be flirting from now on

Also I got to say, I'm guessing it’s a fifties thing but those pointy bras don’t look comfortable

So she answers the phone “Vision Residence” Is Vision also their last name now? Does he go by Vision Vision??

They make the best facial expressions

This phone conversation where Wanda think they’re having a date night whereas Vision is talking about his boss coming for dinner is comedy GOLD

also I love the fact that they’re giving us stereotypical sitcom drama while keeping it clear that there are bigger problems than dinner with the boss

Fake commercial break is at 9.56 (these time stamps are for myself I want to calculate how much of the episode is actually the story)

I do love the fake commercials tho! And I suppose in a way they ARE part of the show

They missed the chance to make it the toastmate three thousand and make every ironman fan cry

The beeping toaster sounds like a ticking bomb..... also the little red light is the only color we’ve seen this episode I think

Commercial ends at 10.46

Also love that it was an SI toaster, still wish they had made it 3000 instead of 2000

How did Wanda confuse Mr. Hart with her husband? Not that I’m complaining, her coming out in a robe and covering Vis’ Boss’ eyes is HILARIOUS

“This is the traditional Sokovian greeting? Didn’t I tell you my wife is from Europe?” “How exotic!” “We don’t break bread with Bolsheviks”

Visions pants are SO high waisted

“It’s our anniversary!” “Our anniversary of WHAT?” “WELL IF YOU DON”T KNOW I”M NOT GONNA TELL YOU”

Poor Vision is trying to figure out what kind of company he works for this is sooo funny

Agnes coming in clutch with a full meal

So Wanda needs the ingredients in order to magic a meal she can’t just make one appear

Vision breaking into song was amazing

How did one chicken turn into like 30 eggs

Vision is singing old McDonald with his bosses wife this is great

“Diane!” “That must be my wife summoning me!” “She calls you Diane?” “Yes... it’s her pet name for me” “I’m coming... Fred”

So many clichés in this show but it’s done in such a purposeful way that it’s still funny

Also we have only seen three rooms: the kitchen, the living room and Vision’s workplace

“Well I think tonight’s going SWIMMINGLY”

Mrs. Hart is SO NOSY

But I love that they don’t know the answers

Wanda looks SO disturbed when Mr. Hart is demanding her and visions story, you can tell her mind is fighting itself and it’s so sad

Mr. Hart is choking, is it bad that I think he deserves it?

Mrs. Hart keeps cheerily repeating stop it, and gone is the stereotypical sitcom camera angles and and the backing music is switched for something eery

This is lowkey scary, Mr. Hart Dying while his wife keeps cheerily saying Stop It and it just feels creepier the more she repeats

Wanda looks distressed and vision is just looking to her for what to do, her old timey accent is gone and she sounds nearly robotic as she tells Vision to help

Poor Wanda, she is so clearly going through it mentally right now

Laugh track is back, and just like that the Harts are leaving, despite only having one bite of food

And somehow Mr. Hart is impressed? Was Wanda rewriting reality to make them so?

I know that this is clearly some alternate reality and nothing is right, but wanda and vision deciding to choose that day as there anniversary and this little convo here is soooooo cute

Aw her making them rings and them both saying I do is soooo cute

And vision saying “and they lived happily ever after’ is so sweet but also so sad in context

What is that little remote vision is holding meant to be?

And love the hexagon closing in on them with the cute music playing to end the episode

Are the people in these credits real? Because it lists the start as Wanda Maximoff and Vision but are the rest actual people?

So there is some sketchy dude watching the maybe fake credits so there's something going on there

The actual credits start with 7.13 left and I’ve been told there's no mid or post credits scene. I’ll let them play while I finish this up anyways

8 minutes and 49 seconds of this show is the logo, title sequence and credits. Out of 29.36 total this means only 20 minutes and 47 seconds is the show, which I suppose is standard for a sitcom but I think I felt deceived by it showing as 29 minutes

Also 50 seconds of “commercial takes the show time down to 19.57 if anyone was wondering

I swear tho I’m not all that bothered by the length, just did the math in case anyone was curious like I am. 

I thought I was going to really enjoy this going it, but it still really surpassed my expectations and I can’t wait for episode 2!

This is my raw reactions, but I’m sure that as I mull it over more I’ll be posting more about the show

This is somehow a perfect combo of lighthearted comedy and mild horror

I wanna let this episode stew for a while, so I prob won’t watch episode 2 for at least a day

Also what are your guys’ thoughts on this format of reaction? Did I write to much?

Also what did y’all think of this episode? Feel free to let me know what you think of my reaction, and whether you agree or disagree. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

[floraisann]

ateez reaction: you’re addicted to animal crossing: new horizons

➣ requested? ✓

➣ genre: fluff, humor

➣ masterlist

sorry that some of these are kinda dry 😔 i am try

❅♩♬♩❅――

❥ kim hongjoong:

lets you do your thing tbh

you’ll probably just be vibing in the living room with the switch hooked up to the tv and everything’s great when hongjoong just,,,, moves his work over without saying anything

you’re just ???? and he’s just :)))) the “just another tuesday” grin, you know?

after long enough if you ask him why he moved, he just says he “likes the soundtrack” like bro we do be bopping to the animal crossing ost out here in this quarantine joint

watches you play, only making comments when a villager says something REALLY cursed

really likes marshal— he’s funny

not the type to hate villagers either except chops, fuck chops

once yunho shows him how the custom qr code outfit designs work you’re about to have the most stylish lil mayor that ever roamed the earth

probably also borrows your switch to make your town jingle

overall is just confused by the game dynamic, but likes the music and how happy it’s making you :)

you’re gonna have to put the switch down on your own honey, he’s too caught up in bopping to the music while doing his own work to realize you’ve been playing for eight hours

❥ park seonghwa

has the game too, probably bought it for you so you could build “couple islands” and be THAT cute gamer couple

still probably nags you for gaming too hard if too many hours pass and you’re ignoring basic needs to like,,,, get lolly on your island or something of the sort

but lolly’s cute give him 5 mins to fall in love w god cat

sends you cute in-game love letters when you’re headass six feet away from each other in real time

but it’s ok they’re cute and he likes making you blush

brings his pretty flowers to your island he also steals yours but that’s okay

dumbfounded by your blatant aggression towards certain villagers

offers to “trade” villagers with you to make you happy and marshal scares him please take marshal from him

yes he’ll bring you cute snacks as if you were studying

overall happy that you found something you enjoy together, but will make you take frequent breaks so you don’t put off whatever you actually have to do too much

❥ jeong yunho

didn’t get the hype at first. bought the game since he thought it had to be super fun if you were ignoring him for hours at a time to go bug catching LMFAO

yet when he downloads it there’s a catch

mr epic gamer, unlike you, has the luck of a god and generates an actual island paradise and probably gets a ton of shooting star fragments too 😔✊🏻

you’re the one stealing from his island, but it’s okay he loves you 💕

and he doesn’t quite understand the game yet

gives you star fragments because you can’t get any and he doesn’t want you all sad because you can’t make a wand!!

has all the cute villagers, but if any try to move will give them to you

pays off your tom nook debt because with his luck it probably takes him less than an hour to get filthy rich in game

also figures out the qr code outfits early on. yes he’ll try to make you one, yes he’ll make himself match

overall, he gets the game because of you but does it better because it’s yunho why wouldn’t he xoxo

still makes sure you’re doing what you need to before you go off to work on your island for six hours; the type to offer game rewards he magically obtains as a prize for you after you finish your daily work

oh to be jeong yunho

❥ kang yeosang

the president of the epic gamer club

probably persuaded you to buy it with him so he could rob your island of all your goods

makes you both reset the game until your islands both have good items but are different

so he can steal your fruit :D

“y/n, you— no, restart. you can’t have peach trees, i already have peach trees!”

“dates” where you guys lie on his bed with your consoles, literally just exploring each other’s islands

y’all practically end up sharing two islands. that’s how much you play together

invites you to go raid the other members’ islands

cursed humor carries into the game; like he’ll send you crackhead mail when you least expect it and the content WILL be something that’s only funny because it’s Yeosang

“you make me so incredibly happy, y/n. almost as happy as when tom nook first handed me my nookphone. almost”

celebrates with you when you’re both rid of the ugly villagers

overall impartial to your obsession, rather he’s glad he has someone to steal from share with

still will make you take breaks with him. he loves that you’ve got a pretty island but you need to take care of yourself sweetie

if you don’t listen he will randomly come on your island to beat you up with a shovel xoxo yeosang luvs u 😘

❥ choi san

would not mind the game at all if it weren’t making you IGNORE HIS NEED FOR CUDDLES >:(

tbh san would probably whine about being attention starved for an eternity 15 mins until he realizes his whining isn’t working, and he has no choice but to cuddle up to you while letting you do your thing

by that i mean he’s backseat gamer all the way, no i do not accept criticism

he’d probably just plop down next to you and cuddle into your side or lay on top of you— just positioning himself in some way that he can see your gameplay

the type to cling to you while you play while bothering you until you accept his game opinions as fact

can and will make you kick out the villagers he thinks are ugly

“i just want you to kick that smelly limberg out, is that really too much to ask?”

probably spent 10 minutes absolutely losing his shit over the animal crossing language

“WHY ARE THEY TALKING IN KEYBOARD SMASH?”

takes the next half hour to learn how to speak it

so next time you play too long and ignore him, will shut off your switch then lay down on you and scream acnh villager language gibberish in your EAR

"you didn’t have a problem with that voice three hours ago when you were talking to that cat rosie!!” :(

if you really ignore him and never stop playing NOTHING is stopping him from being dramatic and saying smth like “y/n, i can’t take this anymore! choose, me or him!”

“him” is tom nook

why the fuck would you pick tom nook

❥ song mingi

knows the game is popular but wasn’t bothered to try playing

so when he sees you, curled up on the couch in the same position he saw you two hours ago just with one less family sized bag of chips, he quietly sighs to himself and sits next to you

“is the game really that interesting?”

when you nod, he ends up like san and kind of chills with you, backseat gaming mode

except he isn’t yelling at you to kick out the ugly villagers, he can already see you trying on your own

gets shocked when the first tarantula appears and you get bitten

occasionally gives input on what he thinks you can do to have a better island

makes you go on an island tour so he can see what you headass just spent the last week making

actually is impressed by how much work you put into your virtual island

congrats! you’ve unlocked an achievement! : gaming livestream date for song mingi

will decide for himself who the cutest villager is then act cute and ask if he looks like them. it’s probably gonna be kid cat. tell him he does. please, Tell Him he looks like kid cat

basically i don’t think he’d be that put off by you getting addicted to the game because!!! acnl is the most relaxing game ever he likes to watch you while he unwinds after a long day

if you play too long though he won’t really say much, just sit by you pouting like :(((( “lov me”

pls love him, the big babie 🥺

❥ jeong wooyoung

another member that probably has the game, but isn’t as obsessed as you

will beg you for shooting star fragments if you get any though. please get this man a wand

does not get WHY you’re trying so hard on your island layout. literally only wants one villager, his island can go to shit so long as he has that one villager

that one villager is probably gonna be molly or something

another member who learns how to imitate animal crossing speak, except his voice is already in the correct pitch

makes fun of you complaining about a villager you hate but it all comes back to bite him in the ass once moose shows up on his island and he gets it

you guys are having a competition to see who can get sprinkle on your island first

spoiler alert: he wins, he stole her from seonghwa

(he steals a lot from seonghwa)

overall happy with the fact that you guys have a game to play together

but if you grind too hard on your own and ignore him for hours at a time can and will invade your island to steal your fruit and trample your flowers. AND send you spam mail

sorry

❥ choi jongho

doesn’t care for the game, and he’s mostly chill too so he’ll probably just vibe in the other room while you play, waiting for you to finish so he can do something with you

comes out a few hours later when you’re (still) lying on the couch, angrily button mashing while muttering curses to yourself

he’s really confused tbh, he’s seen yeosang play, he knows you don’t gotta go that hard to be a successful mayor, so he HAS to ask what the fuck you’re so mad about

“i’m TRYING to catch a blittering at the moment, but i keep getting these stupid carps!!! i have a debt to pay off, god!!”

becomes infinitely more amused with the game after that point

he thinks its so funny how someone could get heated while playing through probably the most relaxing game ever

watches you fish; he enjoys the puns and seeing you get frustrated when you keep catching those goddamn carps

probably takes the switch from you at one point to try his hand at it and catches a koi fish in his first five minutes

“i guess you just suck at fishing, y/n”

overall pretty unbothered by your love for the game until you start ignoring him

then he will threaten your in-game apples, saying he’s .2s away from stealing one of his members’ switches just to brawl with your trees

and we all know who’s gonna win between jongho and apples

[blazestarninja13]

Dianakko Week [Day 3: Rainy Day]

@dianakko-week

I got the basic idea for this one from by buddy, @pancat-n-sausage (Y’all should check her out). Super huge thanks to her! Also, thanks for all of the comments and kudos so far! Keep em coming bois!

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26081233/chapters/63538552

It was a rainy day in Blytonbury. The sky was dark and the rain just kept coming down for hours.

 Akko and Diana had returned from picking up some supplies from the Magic Item Cafe that they had just delivered to Professor Chariot.  Both girls were wearing thick black rain boots that they had borrowed from the school, though Diana looked thoroughly uncomfortable in them compared to Akko who looked like she wore them on a regular basis.

 “I seriously do not know how you can stand to walk around in these boots, Akko” Diana grumbled as she walked through the courtyard of Luna Nova alongside Akko.

 Akko chuckled and gave a cheesy grin

 “Because they’re so much fun to walk and jump around in!” she exclaimed

 Diana smiled. She really admired Akko’s playfulness and ability to make fun out of pretty much most things.

 Suddenly, Akko’s eyes started to mischievously twinkle. She usually had this look on her face when she saw the potential to do something stupid.

 Diana gave her a confused look. What was the brunette up to now? 

 “Hey, Diana! Check this out!” Akko cried out as she ran to a large puddle in the middle of the courtyard and jumped into it.

 SPLASH!

 Water went everywhere, leaving Akko looking a bit soggy and Diana looking less than impressed.

 “Oh yeah! That was so much fun!” Akko shouted with a big smile on her face. 

 Diana just sighed. Sometimes Akko’s playful personality could be a bit idiotic at times, though that was what made Akko, Akko. 

 “Did you really have to do that Akko?” 

 Akko nodded and then looked down at her boots as if there were something of interest inside them. 

“Of course I have to! Jumping in puddles on a rainy day is the best and not to mention, you can even splash people with the water that’s in your boots after you jump into a puddle.”

 Akko then took off one of her boots and threw the water out of it in the opposite direction to where Diana was standing, since she was the last person she wanted to soak.

 Diana stood there, feeling somewhat pleased that Akko decided not to splash her with the rainwater from her boots.

 “So Diana, Have you ever jumped in puddles and splashed people with rain boot water?”

 Diana then remembered a time where she did in fact, do exactly that.

 “Yes, I have before, though it was a very long time ago. I would jump around the in the huge puddles that would form around the manner on rainy days and I’d then take off my boots and splash the servants with the water from inside them. My mother always found it funny…” she recalled with a nostalgic smile on her face.

 Akko’s face suddenly lit up as if she had an imaginary lightbulb above her head.

 She gave a quiet and slightly evil chuckle. She had a good idea

 Diana could tell what the look on Akko’s face meant. She was probably going to make her do something that she would regret later on.

 “What ridiculous idea is going through your head?” she asked

 Akko smirked and whispered her idea into Diana’s ear. 

 “What?! Why would I want to do that” Diana responded

 Akko kept whispering her plan

 “Akko, you know she’s the last person we’d want to annoy”

 Akko continued to whisper until she was done and gave a mischievous smirk.

 Diana sighed and curled her lips into a slight smile. Akko was probably going to make her do it anyway and besides, their target had done much worse before.

 “Oh fine then, I’ll do it. But I know I’ll be regretting it later and I take no responsibility if she tries to kill us” she stated.

 “I think we’re gonna have fun with this” Akko grinned.

 Diana really was going to regret this

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 A little bit later that day, Amanda O’Neill found herself walking out into the rain so she could go on a broom flight since she declared to herself that rainy weather was the best weather to fly in. Though the rain was quite a bit lighter than the rain she’d find in New York, she still decided to go out because not only was it still raining, but she also loved the smell of the air after the rain had passed.

 As she walked and whistled to herself through the courtyard, she didn’t realise that there was a surprise for her hiding around the corner she was about to turn.

 Behind that corner was Akko and Diana who were holding rain boots full of rainwater they had jumped in together earlier.

 Diana had noticed that Amanda was not in the correct school uniform and instead was wearing a hoodie with jeans along with her signature Converse shoes that she always wore no matter what.

 “But of course she’s breaking uniform protocol.” Diana quietly huffed to herself as she and Akko waited for their target to turn the corner. 

 “Shhhh!” whispered Akko so the two of them didn’t give away their plan and position.

 Amanda was about to turn the corner.

 Akko began to countdown.

 “3, 2, 1, Now!” she uttered.

 As soon as Akko signalled, both her and Diana splashed the rain boot water onto Amanda which got her absolutely soaked and made her look like a wet and angry dog from the looks of her now wet hair.

 Amanda furiously scanned around her surroundings and saw the two girls standing there, laughing to themselves at how hilarious it was to see the American getting completely submerged with water.

 That was when they both realized that Amanda was standing right behind them, looking really irritated. 

“I think this is the part where we run,” Akko muttered to Diana who was now regretting every bit of this plan.”

 Amanda then let out a growl and started to chase Diana and Akko.

 “Oh crap, oh crap oh crap!” Akko yelped as she ran alongside Diana.

 “Kagari, Cavendish! You’ll both be sorry for this!” Amanda fumed, chasing the two other girls through the courtyard.

 Though Diana was completely regretting this and knew that Amanda was going to get back at her at one point or another, she had to admit that Akko really did know how to make things fun.

[restingdomface]

Okay I can’t believe I’m going there, but, Lan Wangji’s magical healing cock and also mpreg AU:

Okay. So. Instead of Jin Zixuan being a dick to his crush, he genuinly never had a crush on her at all, and in fact, it never came to light until the Sunshit Campaign started, but JZX had a crush on Jiang Cheng all along. Jiang Cheng, who, reluctantly, returns his affections. Wei Wuxian is disgusted. His brother has terrible taste in men wtf.

So. Things went differently this time. What’s the change here? Meng Yao never left Nie Mingjue’s side. Of course, he did the spying thing, but he never betrayed him (this could be a part of my idea where NMJ and MY plan to actually have him be a spy and send him off after a planned execution of a soldier that NMJ decided needed a death sentence more than banishment, or, an AU where MY presented the idea to Wen Rouhan that his coming to WRH’s side was the betrayel itself). Now how does this change things? Because I honestly and truly think that if MY didn’t go to Jin Guangshan’s side afterwards, JGS wouldn’t have had the sway to execute anyone else in the Wen Family, or do anything horrible like that.

TBH he tries to wipe out the rest of the Wens, but it goes so badly and this time MY isn’t on his side (lol you know JGS would have tried tho, imagine how humiliating it would have been to be publicly denied by your own bastard son at the banquet after wow) and so JGS ends up removed from power entirely and JZX gets made sect leader instead.

This means, that since JZX is about to marry JC, they’re going to have to move to LanlingJin instead of both of them arguing over if they’d move to Lotus Pier or not. Cause they would argue over that. This means that Jiang Cheng is going to be the next Young Master Jin and Jiang Yanli is now officially the Jiang Sect Leader. Nice.

So. We’re rid of JGS and everyone’s happy and MY probably isn’t gonna kill anyone cause now he can marry NMJ in peace and not have to deal with anyone else, where does LWJ’s magic healing dick come in? Hold on I’m getting to it. Impatient.

So. The Wens. Of course, before JGS was removed from power, Wei Wuxian was actually running around saving Wen survivors and gathering them in the Burial Mounds, so he actually has to be coaxed into leaving by his siblings and LWJ and even JZX and NMJ (who thinks this is rather like that one time he had to coax Nie Huaisang out from under his bed when he became convinced NMJ’s cat was a demon because it wouldn’t stop attacking his songbird and he couldn’t come out cause she was in the room and she would steal his soul but she’s just sitting on the windowsill and meowing at them and NMJ is just silently planning to feed her more and keep her away from the atrium and tbh plz NHS you’re 16 years old you’re too old for this plz stop crying) and it’s great. It’s just great.

Anyways. WWX is paranoid af. Like so fucking paranoid. Cause they have been attacked. He’s got 12 year old girls talking about what the adult men in the Jin sect did to them. He’s got a traumatized toddler on his hip that screams when he sees Jin robes. He’s got children with branded scarring on their faces and wounds you can’t even imagine to come from anything but torture. He’s paranoid. He’s trying to keep the kiddos safe. They’re healers, and he’s given them the tools to heal, but they’re scared, and he’s paranoid without his Golden Core, and he’s scared, and he’s not putting down the toddler plz stop asking, he’s keeping this one, shut up.

So. What can he do but make a few demands? The Lan sect may have strict rules, but they would never attack innocent civilians, and they have rules about killing even animals in Gusu. He asks them to send all the Lan guards they can to escort them to GusuLan. He doesn’t think they’d hurt them in YunmengJiang either, but he can’t risk it. He was there when Lotus Pier burned. Cloud Recesses didn’t lose nearly as many people, and he’s still too traumatized to spend much time in LP rn.

So they go to Cloud Recesses. This actually, also gives the other sects a lot of time to get some glimpses at everyone that came from the Burial Mounds.

Not a single one of them was a cultivator.

This is a little different than canon. WWX can’t handle the loss of his golden core in this one. Not to say that he shouldn’t have done it, but that the resentful energy is dragging him down to the point where all he can feel is paranoia and fear. He’s almost completely unresponsive at this point. He follows after LWJ when told to, and he holds little A-Yuan in his arms, but he doesn’t pay much attention to anyone.

Wen Qing tells them of the loss of his core, but not how it happened. Lan Qiren doesn’t much like WWX still, but he accepts that a cornered animal will bite, and WWX lost his main weapon right before a major war. Of course he would do all he could to keep himself safe.

Jiang Yanli offers for the Wen Survivors to be integrated into YunmengJiang, since they lost so many people. It could help a lot. They accept, since she’s offering them protection and help.

Of course, Wen Qing and Jiang Yanli used to Spend A Lot Of Time Together in Cloud Recesses, so love is blooming there between the two sect leaders, and by the end of a year, they’re getting married themselves.

WWX doesn’t go back to LP with them. He couldn’t do it. A-Yuan and Granny and Wen Ning stay with him in Cloud Recesses. Granny talks with Wen Qing regularly, and A-Yuan is attached to Lan Wangji enough that Lan Xichen starts mentioning that he could attend classes there when he’s old enough. LXC is a WangXian shipper and is trying to get his brother to adopt the child. Y’all know he would. WWX spends his time arguing (loudly, but in a room with magical wards for sound so they don’t get in trouble) with a Lan mind healer that talks through his bullshit with him, sleeping the day away in one of the rooms of the Jingshi (because LWJ made him move in right away and WWX couldn’t even argue cause A-Yuan loves him too and he can ask LWJ to play Their Song whenever he wants to hear it) and following after A-Yuan as he enchants (and terrifies) all the rabbits in the field. Also getting yelled at (softly) by LQR for breaking rules. LQR and LWJ have been making it their personal mission to find a way to either purify the resentful energy so WWX can go back to his normal cheerful self that doesn’t jump or hide when startled, or to regain a Golden core so the yin and yang energies can balance each other and keep him stable.

Of course, JYL sends him a message that she’s getting married, and WWX pulls himself out of the fog enough that he can ask them to go to the wedding (he’s being polite, he’s going no matter what they say lol,) and LWJ accompanies him to the wedding. His siblings are so happy to see him there.

Anyways. Things get rocky when WWX hears them talking about kids.

Jiang Yanli will carry Jin Zixuan’s children, and they’ll keep the Jin name. They’ll know that all four of them are their parents, but it’s a way to pass on the name.

Wen Qing will carry Jiang Cheng’s children, and they’ll carry the Jiang name. This also helps to keep track of what kids are heir to what sect.

Of course, Wei Wuxian, the master of ‘I know The Most Obscure Bullshit Ever’, asks why they don’t just have their spouses children. There are spells and potions for that.

Well. No one else in the room knew that but him apparently. Well, they’re still going to go with their idea for the first few kids, and then they’ll decide if other means of pregnancy options are viable.

Anyways. Guess who else didn’t know it was possible for men to get pregnant? You guessed it. Lan Wangji. Who was also in the room at the time.

So. Wedding is lovely. They all have an amazing time. WWX is able to pull himself out of bed every day. He was even able to work on some cultivation items that LQR begrudgingly admits are amazing items and very useful to cultivation.

They go back to Cloud Recesses, and Lan Wangji combs through his and his uncle’s notes till he finds a viable solution to a return of a Golden core that they had originally scrapped because WWX wasn’t a girl.

To return a Golden core to a body by means of very careful pregnancy. Of course, such a thing would be considered stealing under normal circumstances, and most mothers would rather die than harm their child in the womb in a way that could kill them. But this was a method made to keep both parent and child from harm. A way to build the slightest lump of core in the parent, enough to stick and allow a base to build off of later.

Of course, without consulting Uncle (because the man would be horrified at the idea, and LWJ would rather be rejected by the man himself thanks very much) he takes the proposal to the man in question.

WWXA has to think about this one for a long time. He thinks about it while helping Wen Ning with zombie stuff so he can maintain a stable body. He thinks about it while writing letters to his siblings. He thinks a LOT about it while tucking their two year old into bed and reading him a story with the funny voices. He thinks about it when he spends a night in the cold springs with LWJ one night, close enough to touch the man, because without a Golden core, the water is too cold for him to survive in on his own.

He asks why LWJ would besmirch his honor like that. Having a child out of wedlock, his uncle would throw a fit. His name would be in tatters.

LWJ blinks, once, and twice. He quietly tells him the offer could involve marriage if WWX thinks it’s of import.

So. They get married. So they can have a child. Another child. Just. Yeah. Let’s get married so we can mate like rabbits.

They’re in love. Of course they are. But they’re also shy idiots. LWJ is a sex fiend like usual, and WWX quickly gets addicted to it, but they’re both too shy to say anything sappy yet. Well. No. Scratch that. LWJ is fully willing to admit his love to the world. But he’s a very quiet person. So he mostly just tells WWX how much he would do anything for him, and even eats his horrible poison cooking. Not even A-Yuan will touch that shit.

A-Yuan is so excited to be a big brother. His favorite place to lay is curled around WWX’s big belly and giving it kisses while A-Die scratches his hair and reads him stories.

A-Yuan finally gets his baby and Wei Wuxian gets the stability that a Golden core provides so he can continue using resentful energy to dodge the many many scrolls Shifu Qiren will throw at him over the years to come. LQR swears that if that man hadn’t given his nephew happiness and also many great nephews-

Anyways. The Lotus Flowers are all gay and all happy send tweet.

[asterekmess]

S3A - E1

Okay, instead of making like massive reblogs of thoughts as I have them for the episodes, I’m gonna just make a massive bullet point list that I’ll add to throughout the episode, so you get One post per episode instead of “Like all nine million of them.”

I put Read-More’s because I care.

Thoughts (of which I have far too many):

I’m in the first ten seconds of the fuckin episode. Why the fuck is Braeden electrocuting Isaac? Like, look, I wanna like Braeden. I have issues with her entire moral system, but I still wanna like her cus’ she saves Isaac. But...how am I supposed to do that when the literal first thing she does is electrocute my boy??? He’s knocked out, not DEAD (not that that’s how shocking someone’s heart even Works) and it’s not like she needs to trigger the healing process. He’s already got Gaping slash wounds on his chest. He’s hurt enough. ALSO. “Be quiet”?? R U Serious? You’re electrocuting him. YOU try being quiet with fucking jumper cables on your chest.

The CGI...is so bad. Oh my god. What the absolute fuck. it looks like Sharkboy & Lavagirl. And why aren’t Ethan & Aiden’s claws doing anything to the bike?

I AM CONFUSION. If the twins don’t have to take their pants off to do the Transformers shit, why do they have to take off their shirts? Can...can I just skip that? Make the big bad werewolf wear an ugly hybrid of two of their stupid ass sweaters? Or do Ethan and Aiden really just like being shirtless that much? (I wouldn’t put it past them)

What is with Braeden and the electricity?

The writing in this show, what the fuck? “I thought I told you to hold on” EXCUSE ME, ma’am. He literally just passed out. His bad I guess.

Guess who has to add the anti-scott tag to this now? Anyway, I hate that Allison’s bit in the intro is her kissing Scott and then drawing the bow. Like, they’re broken up. They don’t get together in this season. Why are they kissing in the intro? That had to have Totally pissed off Scallison fans.

There’s my boy, holding up lizard tattoo designs. Pls tell me he took a pic and sent it to Jackson with the caption “It’s YOU.” Like, yes, way too soon, but man it’s fuckin funny.

This tattoo artist is a good-ass salesman. However, p-sure he’s not a good-ass artist if he had to wrap Scott’s arm up That badly. Like...they have stuff for that. Fuck, the one I got on my ankle, they used SaranWrap and Tape. Just needs to be kept out of the open air for a bit. You don’t need like eight layers of gauze. I do feel for Scott tho. That tat probably cost him like $50-75 before the tip. Oof.

Eyyy, time to be salty. Ya’ll know I love Allison, but does it get any more clear that she totally bailed on everyone after the warehouse? She went to France! She doesn’t even know what happened to Jackson after he got cured. ALSO. Lydia says “Derek taught him the werewolf 101.” Not Scott. Derek. XP

Lydia, honey, leave Allison alone. If she doesn’t want to go on the double date, go alone and make it an orgy. Fun, right? Wait, no. Don’t. You’re 16. Don’t do that!

When exactly did they “agree to give each other the summer”? She said “I’m breaking up with you.” he said “I’ll wait” and then she cried into her dad’s arms. Like...why didn’t we get to see this apparently incredibly important conversation? (maybe because it didn’t happen??)

I fucking LOVE the “I’m just gonna say hi. HEYYYYY! You know....they probably didn’t see us.”

The most horrific thing about that moment was the bad CGI.

I WANNA POINT OUT how cute it is (in a like, sad way cus’ she’s terrified) that Lydia is close enough to Stiles now that she immediately goes for his side and they like insta connect with the eye contact. Not in like a Stydia way, but like, they’re close. she trusts him and goes to him when she’s scared, even though he’s human and you’d wonder if she shouldn’t go to Scott instead, since he’s the werewolf.

SCOTT WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING THE DEAD DEER. Your ability to smell chemosignals/sense emotions has nothing to do with touching. Stop poking the dead animal.

Wait, WHY is there a full moon in that shot? The full moon isn’t for like a week! I COUNTED.

...what? Why the fuck does Braeden think Scott’s an Alpha? Why tho? Like, seriously? WHY? He’s not an Alpha yet. Nowhere near it. And if she knows bc Deaton told her (i think he was the one who hired her) then shouldn’t she know he isn’t one yet? IF SHE KNOWS that she can tell Melissa abt werewolves, WHY doesn’t she know that Scott’s Melissa’s son? Where is the LOGIC?

Scott’s morning routine is giving me Legally Blonde vibes. ~my perrrfectt dayyy, nothing standing in my wayyy~

I can’t tell. did Allison get highlights, or straight up dye her hair brown?

This sweet moment between her and her dad. Yes. Pls.

I will admit, I like getting to see each of their mornings.

Lydia...who are you fucking? Honey, you’re sixteen. Why isn’t whoever the fuck is in bed with you also getting ready for school? What.....the fuck?

Completely different Beacon Hills High School set. I really can’t blame the writers for that.

Wtf Davis? You list Erica and Boyd as being 17...since when? They’re supposed to be entering their Junior Year of high school. They would be 16 GOING ON 17. ANd what the hell do you mean Erica’s birthday is August 16th? She said in the last season that she’d “Just turned 16 a month ago” that was Spring semester. ???? Come on, guys. Seriously. Writing 101, getting to know your characters. I don’t know anyone writing a novel who doesn’t know the exact birthday of their characters. Plus, they cut 2 in. from Gage Golightly’s actual height, while adding an inch to Sinqua’s (according to google, which isn’t always reliable) Whatever. Boooooo.

Uh...that principal was threatened by the Argents. Victoria herself promised to torture him if he didn’t resign. Why does he look so surprised by the fucking sword in his office? For that matter, why is he at the school at all? He KNOWS the Argents attacked him. This should cause problems!

Honestly, Lydia, I love you. Like, go for it. Nothing wrong with not wanting to date and just wanting to have fun. My issues stem from YOU BEING 16. Yes, teenagers have sex. But this is ridiculous. Why is there so much sexualization? I knew a grand total of like....two teenagers who had sex at 16? and like one who did at 15 (which they say in canon she and Jackson were banging before her birthday). Like, it’s not nearly as common as y’all are making it out to be. Knock it off.

WHEN DID MELISSA MEET ISAAC PROPERLY? WHEN did that HAPPEN?

....so why didn’t Derek answer the phone? They literally never explain? He shows up, so...why didn’t he answer?

I’m SO InCredibly Disturbed by Jennifer having everyone’s phone numbers. HOW? In What Way is that REMOTELY appropriate? WHY did no one question it? Why didn’t STILES or LYDIA question it?

So tiny, bugs me so much. He didn’t turn his phone off. He turned his screen off...is it that hard to have him do the right one?

uhhh. Werewolves can smell other werewolves. Wanna tell me why Isaac can’t tell a werewolf just walked in the room? An ALPHA no less?

why TF are Kali’s iris’ and pupils so fucking massive?

So...what was the deal with the birds? Don’t they say later that Jennifer like summoned them? So they aren’t from the Alpha pack scaring animals? And also, how would the Alpha pack be scaring animals if they’re like, in the middle of town? They said in S1 that “wild animal sightings are up” like what 75% or something? “As though something is scaring them out” but that made sense, bc we knew Peter was running around in his full-shift (it’s a fucking full shift, it’s just fucked up) in the woods. But these Alphas aren’t, they’re integrating. So is it Jennifer that the animals are afraid of? Like, does she have sPoOkY aura or something?

More bad CGI.

WHy is no one responding to the woman stumbling around in nothing but a hospital gown?

ONCE AGAIN. Werewolves can Sense Werewolves. SCOTT you sensed Isaac in a BOYS LOCKER ROOM. DUKE IS RIGHT THERE. WHT THE FUCK?

angry smoker doctor  “Why don’t you wheel this joker out of here?” “I’m gonna go smoke” Grrr

Sir. clearly your mask wasn’t tied on appropriately. it shouldn’t just Fall Off when you touch it. there are Protocols! STOP THE SPREAD. also, someone wanna tell me why none of these alphas can keep their claws in? A lil flashy flashy red eye would’ve done the trick just fine.

Okay no, seriously what the FUCK is up with these contacts, you guys? THEY”RE MASSIVE???

Ugh, can I just *swoons* “I’m an Alpha!” slice “So am I.” That is just so fucking smooth. Woo. I feel so safe ohmygod. PLUS. Derek KNOWS Ennis. I can’t imagine how satisfying that had to be.

Uh, Derek, honey. You’re Isaac’s legal guardian. You can just Sign Him Out of the hospital. With clothes and everything. What are you doing?

Honey, what do you mean the county took it over? If they were gonna do that they’d have done it six fucking years ago. Unless you gave it to them, it’s still yours? I did the research. Like HOURS of it.

What do you MEAN there’s a magic healing herb that helps with Alpha wounds? Since when do Alpha wounds need extra healing, I thought they just took a lil longer? ALSO why is it growing INSIDE your house???? SCOTT. Isaac is fucking UNCONSCIOUS. Can your tattoo fucking WAIT A MINUTE?

I have so many questions. WHY does Braeden know who Allison is? If Lydia’s immune to magic, WHY is Braeden able to bruise her? WHY can Braeden DO magic? and WHY is Chris allowed to take Lydia out of school?

ALLISON you had Geometry LAST YEAR why are you holding a GEOMETRY BOOK??

ohhhhmygod, Derek. Derek. DEREK. Your eyes are pretty on a normal day. That little Blink and ruby reds thing? Ohmygod. I just. I wanna take a picture and just stare at it BUT. how tf does this whole red eye thing work? You can see in the dark....but now you also have x-ray vision? You know, I could believe it was thermal vision...maybe? If Scott was still healing for some reason maybe the tattoo would be brighter? Otherwise I have no idea what is going on.

BUT SCOTT”S NOT 18??? He’s Still fucking 16, or even 17, but not 18. WTF? He needs parental consent in the first place (i should’ve mentioned this in the other note abt the tattoo)

uhh...seriously? When someone breaks up with you and tells you not to talk to them anymore...why do you need a reward for doing as they asked? Like, yeah, you’re sad, I feel that. But making it a ‘reward’ sounds kinda weird. You know what makes it really easy not to text the ex that doesn’t wanna talk to you? Delete her number.

WHY THE BLOWTORCH? SOMEONE WANNA EXPLAIN? Peter’s not covered in tattoo from when he was literally burned alive, why the FUCK would a blowtorch create a black tattoo on Scott’s skin?

DEREK. HONEY. Why would Stiles be able to hold Scott still??? Scott’s a werewolf.

All this bullshit to explain away Posey’s tattoo that he got. Like, damn dude, we all like tattoos, but you have a job that needs bare arms on the regular. That was kinda rude.

Where did braeden get clothes? I forgot to ask.

uhhhh. Ephemeral might technically work in that sentence, but that’s still really awkward.

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DESTROY HIS DOOR? YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. And WHY the instant fucking grr face? “why’d you paint the door?” uhh, leave him alone? He can do what he wants? It’s his house? Also, don’t get all fucking rude about the alpha pack. He told you it was a rival pack.

KALI. PUT SOME FUCKING SHOES ON. JESUS.

Why exactly does Scott see the symbol and INSTANTLY put together that it’s got anything to do with the Alphas or the animal attacks? Where is the logic jump there?

What exactly was the POINT of popping your claws if you were gonna kick her in the face???

UH, Melissa? Why didn’t you tell Scott that there was a whole other person with Isaac?

What is with the face touching, Duke? I’ve never known a blind person who actually wanted to rub their hands on my face to ‘find out what i look like?’

Really not a fan of all these weird jumps and camera angles with the awkward reflecting.

WOah WOah. Allison gets to PAINT her APARTMENT? Wtf kinda BULlshit is that? My landlord won’t let me do that. Rude.

I know they’re imprisoned and it sucks, but they’ve been there for four months, they had to have gotten bored. Do you think they broke into any of the security deposit boxes to see if anything was left behind?

Last thoughts: They really went for it with this episode. I have plans to change a lot of it. Hopefully I can mesh the changes with the general plotline.

[bepoets]

Review for Trish’s Dream Fic

Trish ( @couragedontdesertme  ) said she’d write an epilogue of the elsarik dream Fic if I made a Formal Review of the elsarik dream fic. So here we are.

Please note review should be taken VERY LIGHTLY this is more or less me re-reading the Fic and loudly yelling about things with too many exclamation points. Enjoy Trish.

Ch1

First of all imagine my fucking surprise I didn’t even know you had gotten work done on the dream fic???? Here I was thinking the link you sent me was the next chapter of city of ice and then I click on it and it saYS DREAM FIC???? E X C U S E M E oh my goodness

The first section is just so entirely domestic and beautiful and you can tell how lived in and content they are in their life as roommates. ALARIK (listen my phone autocorrects ALARIK to be in all caps and I’m too lazy to fix it so y’all are gonna have to deal with reading ALARIK’s name as if I’m yelling it every time I type it) anyway ALARIK just bringing her the chocolate croissants she loves so dearly and Elsa curling up with a book and him fretting and worrying over her being there alone all day and later... it’s just SO DOMESTIC. it’s such a small short moment but it’s so domestic and a perfect opposite of the PAIN THAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! And we al know I LOVE READING PAIN

The fact that ALARIK was only home late because he was doing tutoring to earn more money to by Elsa A PRESENT????? Shut up no one speak to me that’s true love but also PAINFUL the guilt he must feel oh my god

Elsa...stops struggling... because she doesn’t want ,,,, ALARIK ,,,, to get hurt. Because she cares for his safety more than her own because he has protected her and he is her friend and she loves him I am going to SCREAM

The fact that you use the phrase ~marching her out of the warmth of the room~ when she just used her magic to like cover the walls in frost makes my Heart burst cause idk if it was intentional or not but I just love the thought that this room has become Home to her it’s become safe and beautiful and lovely and WARM because it is full of love and friendship and companionship rather than the cold loneliness of say her ice palace of her locked room as a child. I like to think Elsa could have covered the room entirely in ice and snow and frost and it would still feel warm to her because of the love that’s developed there thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Ugh fuck hans

I have literally no words other than fuck hans for any section with hans in it I DONT even want to RECOGNIZE THAT HE EXISTS !!! Making Elsa feel like she’s nothing I am going to punch him in the eye

~ALARIK weeps over smushed chocolate croissant. End scene~

I know that it’s such a heartbreaking sad ending for that first chapter but also I really can’t stop laughing about him crying over a stepped on croissant since I know that your like planning note for that last scene was literally just some variant of ALARIK cried over a smushed croissant and that’s just such a funny IMAGE TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD

I just like to imagine ALARIK cradling the chocolate croissant in his arms like a bébé as he sobs

Ch2

I’m fucking S A D

ALARIK having like NO MONEY and just thinking about that the money he has was going to go to a gift for Elsa and the guard LAUGHING AT HIM LIKE THATS IT THATS ALL YOU HAVE?? Like shut UP HES TRYING TO SAVE HIS BELOVED

P e t t y c h a n g e HE IS TRYING MR GUARD I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW HE WORKED EXTRA TO GET THAT MONEY

ALARIK is so fucking DEVOTED I’m going to run through a goddamn wall I cannot cope. Willing to sell the clothes off his back have you ever seen an idiot more iN LOVE

ALARIK just going willingly cause he has no fight left in him and he just wants to see Elsa even if it means he gets imprisoned too oh my GOD

THE SCENE ITS THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!

STRAIGHT FROM TRISH’S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT STARTED IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

ALARIK wanting to hold her hands when her hands are what are chained up and seen as dangerous and what ~make her a witch~ the absolute love and power that holds.

LET ALARIK AND ELSA HOLD HANDS

“I promised to keep you safe” the pain I feel oh mY GOD

“They’ll KILL you” they’re really out here trying to protect each other at all costs oh my god nothing matters more to the other than keeping the other safe and for that I want to cry and love them and also I want to ram their heads into the wall because wHY WONT THEY JUST PROTECT ESCH OTHER TOGETHER

The PARALLEL OH MY FUCKING GOD

the P A R A L L E L of ALARIK stilling and no longer struggling when the guards threaten Elsa’s death in the same way that Elsa stilled and stopped struggling when they threatened ALARIK’s death oh my god that broke me right there

U g h hans fuck that guy

A N N A !!!!!!!!

When I first read this,,, I DONT know why??? But for some reason??? I didn’t think Anna would be in it???? Which like thinking back on that it makes no sense of COURSE Anna would be in the FIC why would I ever think otherwise. But anyway I was so surprised when she showed up I literally gasped and went ANNA??? Out loud because I was so shocked

ALFAFA GERANIUM

ALARIK really is just so bad under pressure who thought this was a good idea

AG FOR SHORT wink wink nudge nudge cough cough

I’ll be thinking about ALARIK shouting alfafa geranium on my death bed let us never forget

“No harm, no foul” is literally the most fucking Anna line I’ve ever heard. She absolutely would say that to someone who was being question for a crime she’d be like “it’s not biggy”

Why is it that when hans says “BUT ANNA!!!” I hear it like he’s wining like a petulant child I read it like “bUT annNNAAAAA” ugh I hate him

“Don’t scream” *ALARIK’s inner monologue* “this ,, is the story of how I died”

ILL HELP YOU HELP HER ESCAPE!!!!! HELL YEA YOU WILL ANNA HELL YEA YOU WILL

Ch3

My dumbass really went “why are none of the children named neta” before remembering that is the child of Anna and Kristoff and these...are the children of Anna ,,, and .... ugh please don’t make me say his name

I would die for these kids though I love them and I want to protect them at all costs 

Johannes at 5 (and a half!!!!) being a fine soldier GOOD FOR HIM

Isak owns my entire heart from the moment he started fake crying for his mother what a star performer a true Actor he’s too good

Arendellian Royal Guards, are they guards? Or are they simply baby sitters? The world may never know

JOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the babies being named JOAN!!! Hang in there Joan!!!!!!!!! That made me cry oh my god J O A N

Bébé Isak lookout supreme with his big eyeballs and smile and goofy lil salute I love him

The fact that Elsa says she felt stupid for being lured into a false sense of security means she felt secure and safe for literally the first time since she was a child when she was with ALARIK and I cannot properly articulate how much that made me cry I love that so much that has to mean sO MUCH TO HER oh my god

“You have to get out!! Do the magic!!” NO ONE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS LINE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS I LITERALLY WEPT

the use of DO THE MAGIC oh my god AND ELSAS HEART LIKE BREAKING BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CANT

DO ! THE ! MAGIC !

Brave little boy with his mother’s determination saying “be brave. That’s what mama said to tell you” oh my GOD THESE CHILDREN HAVE MY WHOLE HEART OH MY GOD

A rooster crow for the signal COUKD they be more obvious I love these kids they’re ridiculous they are truly the children of Anna

Elsa!!! Chose!! To be!!! Brave!!!

IF SHE TRIED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ELSA!!! SHE MAY NEVER LET GO!!!

SHE HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! BUT SHE DOES BEVAUSE THERES ALARIK WAITING FOR HER BECAUSE GUESS WHAT

ALARIK IS HER HOME !!!!! HE IS HER HOME !!!! SHE CAN GO TO HIM!!!!

Queue another one of my shocked and delightfully surprised screams as I shouted KRISTOFF????? Because blonde dude driving a reindeer cart

Let’s get you somewhere safe I’m going to cry THEYRE finally together again and they can keep each other safe together as. They. Should.

They are cuddling and my heart is exploding oh my god ALARIK seems so surprised like you big dumb idiot you’re both in love with each other it’s a mutual thing get with the program

SLEEP ELSA! ITS GOING TO BE OKAY! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PROBABLY FOREVER! IT WILL BE!

Ch4

*queue another gasp* there’s only one bed?????

Yea I saw it coming yea I was just as shocked even so yea I got very excited about it wHAT DID YOU EXPECT

They’re cUDDLING and he went to move away and she DOESNT WANT HIM TO they could’ve been sharing a bed THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY

ALARIK laying all the credit on kristoff and the kids when he’s kind of the one that steamrolled the whole plan into happening because he’s the one who showed up ALARIK please give yourself more credit

“You came back” “of course I came back... I couldnt ...” “why?” And then ALARIK refusing to meet her eyes has me absolutely weeping this is the kind of shit I THRIVE ON this is truly a gift to us all everyone say thank you Trish for these three bits of dialogue I will be thinking about them for all my days

ELSA KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I do lose my shit anytime Elsa is the one to make the first move you go girl you go

THE SPICE VENDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing in all my favorites I am going to cry thank you Trish I love Darius

I SUPPOSE YOU TWO HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MARRIED

listen I SCREAMED WHEN HE SAID THAT I SQUAWKED!!!! MARRIED!!!!!!

I had been observing you two and just assumed!!!!! You would assume right mr spice vendor sir if they WERENT so stupid for so long it’s okay we understand

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ??? And Elsa says MARRY US? And ALARIK is going to PASS THE FUCK OUT

He literally got to finally kiss the woman he’s in love with for the first time last night and now they’re getting married poor boy is going to get WHIPLASH from how fast things are progressing but it’s okay im sure he is happy

Elsa’s little vows of just needing each other and keeping each other safe and keeping company and not needing gold or silver ugh TRUE LOVE

And ALARIK hopelessly devoted to her being like I PROMISE

“just you being there no matter what is enough” peak romance true love the devotion the dedication I’m a wreck

LE SMOOCH! LE MARRIAGE! INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM

~end review~

Okay where is my epilogue please and thank you

[animezing-fandoms]

The Baby Race Chapter 4: Home for the Holidays

Fanfic Masterlist (find links to the previous parts there)

Warnings: Suggestive themes, aka mentions of smutty stuff. The guys have a comedic conversation about boobs. I hope I didn’t write it too cringey 😬

Relationships: Nalu, Gruvia, Gajevy, Jerza 

Summary: As everyone’s settling down as the Holiday season comes to Magnolia, the relationships develop further. Gray and Juvia’s wedding is just around the corner, Levy is due to give birth sometime during the month, and Natsu gives Lucy a big surprise! 

A/N: Hey guys! So I’m really busy but I wanted to give you guys the fourth part to help get y’all into the Holiday spirit while waiting for part five which I won’t be able to get started on until finals are over. So until then, enjoy this part and don’t forget to comment!

---------

On a cold winter morning in Magnolia, Lucy was in her apartment, humming to herself as she placed her soap and shampoo by the side of her bathtub and began to run the water. Then she came back into her bedroom and began to unbutton her top.

"Hey Lucy!" Natsu and Happy casually greet her from her bed.

Lucy screamed and pulled her top shut over her chest. Then she frowned when she saw that her bedroom window was wide open.

"Natsu what the hell! I gave you a key so that you could use the door not climb in through my window like a perverted stalker or a burglar!" Lucy complains.

"Oh yeah." Natsu says.

He feels around in his pockets and pulls out the key.

"I'm just so used to coming in through the window I must have forgotten about the key and just broken in out of habit." Natsu laughs.

Lucy sighs and blushes.

"I should have known that this would happen. You always seem to barge in on me while I'm changing after all..." She whines with a teasing lilt to her voice that Natsu picks up on.

He blushes when he notices her tugging on the open ends of her top, teasingly revealing her cleavage while her pretty doe eyes darkened with lust.

Happy felt the change in the atmosphere and immediately felt uncomfortable.

"Uh, I know you two are a thing now but I don't need to know what kind of kinky roleplay you're into!" He says and flies back out the window.

"There's nothing kinky about thi-" Lucy starts then gets cut off and gasps as Natsu suddenly pins her against her dresser.

"So you knew I was coming eh? Is that why you drew a bath?" He asks in a low tone.

"Yeah. Would you care to join me?" Lucy offers seductively.

----------

After taking a nice relaxing bath together where they cleaned each other off among other activities, and then made their way to the guild hall like they did every day since they got together.

It had been a few months since that fateful day that the "baby race" started at the guild and by now most people had forgotten about it entirely. They were just happy that the couples that they knew were destined to be together had finally gotten together, there wasn't a big rush for anyone to get pregnant yet. Lucy for one was fine with that. She and Natsu were still getting used to this new chapter in their relationship, adding a baby to the mix would be too much right now. Besides, Levy was going to be due to have her twins any time this month, and Gray and Juvia were having their wedding the day before Christmas Eve. There was already so much celebration going on, Lucy didn't want to steal her friend's spotlight, nor the Holiday's.

Yep. It was that time of year again, and as the first snow fell on Magnolia, everyone in the guild was busy setting up decorations inside and Erza was meticulously dictating every aspect of it.

"Put in more effort everyone! These decorations need to be perfect this year since we'll not only be celebrating the Holidays, but a Fairy Tail wedding!" Erza declares and everyone cheers.

Juvia's face lit up when she heard everyone cheering.

"Did you hear that Gray-sama? They're so happy for us!" Juvia exclaims and throws her arms around her fiancé in a tight hug.

At first Gray frowned at Juvia for being so affectionate like this, but then he saw how happy she looked and couldn't help but smile and hug her back.

"Yeah they are. But I doubt they're happier than I am to get to have you as my wife." Gray tells her.

"Aw Gray-sama, Juvia is really happy too!" She says and then they kiss each other.

Erza watched them hugging each other and felt a pang of jealousy. Jellal was away for the week, so seeing Gray and Juvia get so cozy with each other was a bit irritating but hey, at least it wasn't every couple right? Suddenly she turned her head towards Levy when she heard her laugh.

Asuka was laughing too, because she had just shot mistletoe onto Gajeel's forehead and he was very unamused.

"Hey this ain't funny you little brat!" Gajeel growls at her.

"Gajeel don't talk to her like that, she's just a little kid. You wouldn't yell at one of our kids like that would you?" Levy asks and rubs her swollen belly.

Gajeel quickly realizes his mistake and then flashes a big grin at Asuka while patting her on the head.

"No of course not. Children are the most precious things in the world gihee." He says.

"That's funny, but now you have to kiss Levy since she's under the mistletoe!" Asuka says and laughs.

"Gihee. That's no problem for me." Gajeel says and then leans down and plants one on Levy.

Now Erza was starting to get a little ticked off and she growled.

Lucy was on a ladder setting up garland on the balcony. While she was working she heard a commotion below her as a bunch of the older men in the guild who had had a little too much to drink were fighting over who got to hold the ladder for her.

"Hey cut it out you perverts! You're gonna make me fall!" Lucy shouts at them.

Natsu came over after hearing the commotion.

"Why are you calling them perverts? They just want to hold the ladder for you so you don't fall." Natsu says.

"Natsu, they want to hold the ladder so that they can look up my skirt!" Lucy shouts at her clueless boyfriend.

As soon as he hears that his demeanor changes and he growls at the older men who dared to creep on Lucy.

"Fire Dragon Iron Fist!" Natsu shouts and all the drunk men scream as his flaming fist comes hurtling towards them.

"Wait Natsu be careful you're gonna break the ladder-AH!" Lucy shouts as the ladder breaks from Natsu's attack and she falls.

She expected to hit the floor but she didn't. Natsu caught her in his arms and smiled at her.

"Don't worry Luce, I'm always here to catch you when you fall." Natsu says.

Lucy blushes and looks at him lovingly.

"You too Natsu." She says and then they both kiss.

Erza was now fully enraged with jealousy and her fist clenched around the railing for the balcony and cracked it.

"Whoa Erza's really mad!" Jet exclaims.

"Everyone look out!" Droy shouts and ducks for cover under a table.

Lucy and Levy noticed how angry she looked and then left their boys and quickly walked towards the guild's exit.

"Hey Levy, do you think now would be a good time to do our Christmas shopping?" Lucy asks nervously.

"Yep! Definitely!" Levy agrees.

-----------

Lucy and Levy walked through the streets of Magnolia and looked for gifts to get for their friends in the guild. They also pointed out things that they would want for themselves. Lucy didn't see anything she was dying to get in the market though. But the one Christmas gift she did want was for Natsu to get down on one knee for her with a ring in his hand and a four-word question on his lips. She was pulled from her thoughts as Levy shivered beside her and held her coat tighter to herself, the buttons were strained over her large baby bump. Lucy pulled a shawl out from her bag and wrapped it around Levy's shoulders.

"I hope Gajeel got you a warmer jacket for Christmas." Lucy says as she rubs her best friends shoulders to get her warmed up.

"Don't tempt him or else he'll probably make it himself out of iron." Levy jokes and the two girls laugh.

"He's still determined to build your whole house out of iron isn't he?" Lucy asks.

"No, I was able to talk him out of that." Levy laughs.

"I reminded him that if the whole house was iron then he'd be tempted to eat the place all the time and he wouldn't be able to because it would be made from his own magic so it would be like torture for him. So he's toned down on the home projects for now. Although he does seem to be busy doing something with Natsu lately." Levy says.

"Yeah I've noticed. I tried to ask Natsu what's going on but every time I bring it up he gets nervous and tries to redirect the conversation to something else. Do you know what he's been up to with Gajeel?" Lucy asks.

"I haven't got the slightest clue. Gajeel's been just as secretive. But I don't think it's anything to worry about, because whenever I ask him he laughs before telling me that it's a secret he can't tell me about because if I know then I'll tell you." Levy admits.

Lucy looks down and crosses her arms to keep them closer to her warm body inside her pink jacket as a cold breeze blew by.

"Whatever it is, I guess it's clear that it's something he really doesn't want me to know about." Lucy says.

"Puu-puun." Plue says.

The girls turn and see Plue dancing around as the snowflakes fall around him.

"I'm surprised Plue isn't shivering right now. He looks like he's always cold, I'd imagine he'd be freezing right now." Levy says and holds her shawl tighter to herself.

"He doesn't shiver from the cold, just when he's nervous. He's actually rather fond of the cold weather to be honest, that's why he's so happy right now." Lucy says and giggles as Plue stands in place and shakes his hips before jumping up and cheering with joy.

"There you girls are!" A loud voice shouts, scaring Plue and making him scream and jump into Lucy's arms where he began to shiver.

The girls turned to see Cana standing there, stumbling slightly as she approached them, an open bottle of some sort of liquor in her hand.

"Cana what are you doing drunk out here? The ground is slippery because of the snow, you could fall and hurt yourself!" Levy warns.

"I'm getting drunk to celebrate the first snow of the season!" Cana slurs before taking another large swig of her drink, finishing the bottle and tossing it into the alley where they heard it shatter.

"Besides, being out here is worth the risk because there's something going on at the guild hall you girls have got to see!" Cana exclaims.

Cana lunged forward and grabbed both of their wrists and tugging them forward with surprising ease and then took off down the street with both of the girls struggling to keep up.

"Cana what are you doing?" Lucy exclaims as the card mage dragged her through the street towards the guildhall by her wrist while Plue flew behind Lucy like a kite as she held his hand.

"Yeah, ouch Cana! You're being a bit rough." Levy says as Cana dragged her along by the wrist with her other hand.

"You should be more careful with a pregnant lady." Levy reminds her.

"Relax Levy, I'm grabbing your wrist not your uterus, and besides, for all we know, Lucy could be expecting too by now since she and Natsu are spending every night together." Cana says suggestively and looks at Lucy.

She blushed and looked away from her.

"Just because we're sharing a bed doesn't mean we're having sex every night!" Lucy retorts.

"So you admit you've done it more than once!" Cana replies.

Lucy yelped when she realized what she just revealed and Cana laughed heartily and Levy giggled.

"So what's going on at the guild that's so important that you pulled us away from our Holliday shopping?" Lucy asks grumpily to direct the conversation away from her sex life.

"Heh. We're here now so see for yourself." Cana says and lets go of them once they enter the doors of the guild hall.

What the girls saw inside was nothing out of the ordinary. Just the boys being rowdy and fighting each other as usual. But then when they heard what they were saying, they understood why Cana wanted them to come down there so quickly.

"Lucy is ten times sexier than Juvia!" Natsu exclaims and throws a fireball at Gray.

Gray blocked it with an ice shield that shattered when the fire hit it and then smirked at Natsu.

"Oh yeah, then how come Juvia won the Miss Fiore contest in Sorcerer Weekly and not Lucy!" Gray retorts.

"Yeah! You tell him darling!" Juvia cheers.

"Juvia loves hearing you say how much you prefer her over that blonde bimbo."

Levy and Cana snickered and Lucy rolled her eyes.

"Oh please, that contest means absolutely nothing to me. In my eyes there's nothing in this whole world that's more beautiful than Lucy!" Natsu shouts back at Gray.

Lucy blushed from the compliment.

"Oh wow...I can't believe he really thinks of me like that." She whispers, touched by his words.

"Besides, Lucy's boobs are way bigger than Juvia's!" Natsu adds and Lucy's heartfelt feelings go away as quickly as they came.

"And now I can believe it." She deadpans.

"Well then you need to get your eyes checked because Juvia's rack is ten times better than Lucy's!" Gray shouts at Natsu.

"Hey don't use my numbers against me!" Natsu shouts.

"Does that flame brain of yours even know how to multiply by ten!" Gray retorts.

"Of course it does, that's why I'm gonna punch you ten times harder than I did last time!" Natsu shouts and throws a flaming punch at Gray.

He lands the hit and Gray hits a table while Natsu smiles proudly as he stands over him while Juvia helps him sit up and regain his bearings.

"You two are fightin' over nothin'. Levy's the sexiest girl that ever existed, and you two boneheads are too dumb to see it." Gajeel says from the table next to them and drinks his beer.

Natsu and Gray snickered behind him.

"The problem isn't that we're dumb." Natsu says and both he and Gray snicker again.

"The problem is that you'd need a magnifying glass if you wanted to see her chest."

The boys erupted into a fit of laughter and a vein bulged out of Gajeel's forehead.

Levy gasps and her face turns red from embarrassment while she crosses her arms over her chest and Plue comfortingly pats her shoulder from where he was standing on the balcony.

"Forget her chest Natsu, you'd need a microscope just to see her at all!" Gray adds and the two of them laugh harder.

"And Gajeel's such a big guy, how do you think he even fits inside of her?" Natsu jokes.

"Well she's pregnant so he must have managed to squeeze it in there somehow." Gray snickers.

Then they stopped laughing when Gajeel picked them both up by the collars of their jackets.

"You two don't need to worry about how well I fit inside of Levy. You should be more worried about how yer gonna fit inside the wall!" Gajeel shouts and tosses them both into a wall with a loud crash.

Gray and Natsu groaned and fell out of the wall.

As Natsu regained his senses he noticed that some of the men in the guild were snickering and pointing at him and Gray while the girls looked annoyed and unimpressed.

"Hey Gray, why's everyone laughing at us?" Natsu asks gruffly.

"They're not laughing at us." Gray answers.

Natsu looked confused but then Gray pointed to the wall and Natsu caught himself before he burst out laughing when he saw that the craters that he and Gray made in the wall greatly resembled a woman's chest.

The two mages looked at each other before laughing hysterically and slinging their arms around each other's shoulders.

"I guess now we know who the biggest pair of boobs in the guild are!" Happy teases before falling over from laughing.

"What a mature response." Carla says in an unamused tone but still cracks a small smile when Happy's not looking.

"Huge boobs are so manly!" Elfman shouts.

"You callin' Levy a man Elfman?" Gajeel growls.

"Uh no. I mean, I don't think so." Elfman says and scratches his head.

"I mean her boobs are pretty small aren't they?"

"Well, they were but now they're bigger." Gajeel says and blushes.

"Whoa wait she made them bigger!" Gray exclaims and looks at Gajeel curiously.

"Can girls just make them grow or shrink whenever they want like Brandish's magic or something?" Natsu asks curiously.

"No you idiots it's because of the babies!" Gajeel roars at them.

"They get bigger because of the milk her body's gonna make to feed them with because of hormones or some crap like that, I don't remember." Gajeel explains while blushing and scratching his head.

Carla rolled her eyes in annoyance before quirking an eyebrow when she noticed that Juvia was feeling her chest.

"Why are you doing that in public woman?!" Carla barks at her and Juvia blushes and puts her hands down at her sides and pretending that nothing happened.

"Well pregnant or not Lucy's still got the best rack in the guild!" Natsu claims while giving Gray a challenging look.

"In your dreams flame brain, Juvia's are way better and you know it!" Gray argues.

Both of them press their foreheads together and growl before Mira interjects.

"Both of you are so silly. If you want to know which one of them has a bigger chest then just go by their cup sizes." Mira says cheerily.

"Why is she encouraging them?" Lucy sighs and presses her palm against her forehead.

"Cup size?" Natsu asks.

"You mean I'm supposed to shove different sized cups onto one of her boobs and see to see which one fits or not?"

Lucy groaned and Cana and Levy giggled.

"No you idiot!" Gray says and smacks him in the back of the head.

"She's talking about her bra. The part that holds her boobs."

"Oh that makes more sense. So then do you know what size Juvia is?" Natsu asks.

"No. When I'm taking Juvia's bra off I'm not checking to see what size it is, I just want to get it out of the way to get at what was inside of it." Gray says matter of factly.

A few of the guys in the guild cheered for Gray and a few of them gave wolf whistles too.

"Oh Gray-sama you're so vulgar!" Juvia exclaims happily with hearts in her eyes.

"I can't even get Lucy's bra off. It's too complicated and it takes too long so I just rip it off instead. But Lucy doesn't seem to mind." Natsu says.

Everyone gasps and Lucy squeaks in embarrassment and her face turns bright red and she hides behind her hands.

"Oh my..." Levy says.

"Wow that's kinky." Cana says and slings an arm around Lucy.

"Oh hey Mira that reminds me, do you know where Lucy buys her bras because I owe her a couple new ones." He says and blushes and scratches the back of his head.

"I can buy them myself you pervert!" Lucy shouts.

Natsu froze and looked terrified when he turned his head and saw Lucy standing there glaring at him. Gajeel did a double take when he saw Levy standing next to her looking equally upset.

"Hey honey." Gajeel says with a nervous grin.

"H-hey there Luce, when did you get here?" Natsu asks and scratches the back of his head.

"Just in time to hear your little conversation with the boys..." Lucy says and crosses her arms while tapping her foot.

"Oh good then you heard me defending your beauty in front of them!" Natsu exclaims and stands up.

He shakes the remnants of the plaster from the wall out of his hair and then holds his arms open for Lucy to go and hug him. She remained standing in place with her hands on her hips as she frowned at him. That's when Natsu's smile fell and he lowered his arms.

"I did something wrong again didn't I?" He asks.

Lucy huffs, turns on her heel and walks out the door.

"Hey Lev, have I told you how cute you look today?" Gajeel asks sheepishly.

Levy rolls her eyes and follows Lucy out the door.

---------

Levy came back inside once Gajeel apologized to her. Natsu set a fire in the huge fireplace that the guild built for the winter and everyone was drinking hot cocoa and warming up together. Gajeel and Levy were sitting near Gray and Juvia and Levy turned towards their direction when she heard Wendy say something interesting.

"Hey Juvia, have you started wearing the same perfume as Levy? You kind of smell like her." Wendy asks.

"Really? She doesn't smell any different to me." Gray says.

"Well your nose isn't as good as Wendy's Gray-sama." Juvia reminds him.

Levy smirked at them before trying to fish a marshmallow out of her cocoa.

Meanwhile, Lucy decided to stay outside the guild hall and let Asuka play with Plue since she really wanted to dress him up like a snowman. She looked back at the guildhall and sighed when she heard them all clinking their glasses and cheering to celebrate the first snowfall of the season.

"Why are you out here in the cold and not inside warming up with Natsu?" Asuka asks.

"Because Natsu did something bad today. So I'm not going to give him any attention until he apologizes." Lucy explains.

Just then a cold breeze blew by and Lucy shivered until she gasped when she saw Natsu's scarf get dropped over her head and then she blushed as she felt him gently wrap it around her.

"I guess I'd better say I'm sorry then because I'm worried you might freeze if I wait any longer." Natsu says.

"Tch. I bet your only worried that my tits will freeze off." Lucy scoffs.

"Wait that can happen!?" Natsu exclaims with a worried expression on his face.

"Here I'll warm them up right now!"

Natsu grabs her chest from behind and Plue covers Asuka's eyes. But she could still hear Natsu's wail of pain as Lucy kicks him in the shin to get his hands off of her.

"No it can't! I was being sarcastic you big dummy they're fine!" Lucy shouts at him.

"I'm sorry Lucy. I'm still learning about this stuff. So I know I'm gonna mess up a lot and make you mad pretty often. But I'm gonna put everything I've got into learning from my mistakes so I can be a man worthy of spending forever with you." Natsu says and wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her in close.

"Oh Natsu..." Lucy says softly.

She was almost ready to forgive him but then she remembered something else she was mad at him for and looked away from him.

"That's really sweet and all but if you really want to spend forever with me then why have you been hiding things from me?" Lucy asks.

"Hiding things from you?" Natsu asks.

"Yeah. You've sneaking off with Gajeel for a few hours every day and you won't tell me why. If you really want to spend forever with me then why are you keeping secrets from me?" Lucy asks.

Natsu flashes her that big goofy grin of his.

"I only kept it a secret because I didn't want to ruin the surprise." Natsu explains.

"Surprise? For me?" Lucy asks.

"Yep! And Gajeel and I just finished it today, so now I can show it to ya when we leave the guild today. I hope you really like it!" Natsu says.

Lucy smiles at him then gasps when Asuka suddenly shoots something onto Natsu's forehead out of her toy gun.

"Pow! I got ya! Now Lucy's under the mistletoe so you two have to kiss!" Asuka laughs.

"Well, we've gotta honor tradition you know." Natsu says and Lucy giggles.

"Lucky for you I was already planning on honoring tradition." Lucy says and kisses him.

Once their lips parted Lucy rested her head on Natsu's chest.

"So what's this big surprise you have for me?" Lucy asks.

"I'll show you later Luce." Natsu says and kisses the top of her head.

"Seriously!" They heard Erza shout and turned to see her standing outside the guild hall's doors.

"Why does everyone have to get so romantic when I'm feeling so lonely!"

She swung her sword into the wall of the guild and gave Natsu and Lucy a death glare.

"Or maybe I could go and show you now." Natsu says.

"Yeah you know what, going now sounds like a good idea." Lucy agrees.

-----------

Natsu carried Lucy while she had her eyes closed and Happy flew beside them.

"Alright, we're here." Natsu says and sets her down.

"Okay now open your eyes Lucy!" Happy says.

Lucy opened her eyes and gasped in surprise from what she saw. It was Natsu and Happy's house, but it looked different. It was bigger than it was before.

"Surprise!" Natsu and Happy cheered.

"Whoa, so you and Gajeel renovated your house?" Lucy asks.

"Yep. It took a lot of hard work and Jule but we did it! Come on inside I'll show you around." Natsu says and pulls her inside through the front door.

Lucy was expecting to see a mess like there normally was, but instead everything was clean and tidy in the main living space. But what she didn't expect to see were the extra bookshelves considering Natsu and Happy barely read anything. She also noticed something else.

"Hey your hammock is gone." Lucy says.

"Yeah, that's 'cuz we don't need it now that we've got our own bedroom." Natsu says.

He takes her hand and leads her upstairs. He opened a door and Lucy gasped when she saw the bedroom inside. It was just as roomy as the one she had back at her apartment and the window had a beautiful view of the mountains. She opened the door on the far end and squealed with joy when she saw a luxurious bathtub that she could only ever dream about.

"Oh my gosh it's beautiful! I'll have to come over here more often to use it!" Lucy exclaims.

"You can use it as much as you want, Gajeel and I made it for you!" Natsu tells her.

"You built me a bathtub?" Lucy asks, tearing up.

"Yeah, and that's not the only thing I built for ya." Natsu says.

He leads her down the hall to another room and opens it for Lucy and then she actually does tear up from what she sees.

There were more bookshelves, and a desk with writing supplies on it by a big bay window seat with the same gorgeous view as their bedroom.

"Did you make me a writing room?" Lucy asks.

"Yeah, I know how you get upset when Happy and I barge in and distract you when you're writing so I thought you'd like your own space to write in that you can lock us out of whenever you want. Do you like it?" Natsu asks.

Lucy wiped her tears from her eyes and smiled at him.

"Oh Natsu I love it!" Lucy exclaims.

"But why did you have Gajeel do all of this?" Lucy asks.

"The last room will answer that question." Natsu says.

Lucy looked confused as Natsu opened the door to an empty room. She walked inside and looked around for any clue of what it's use could be but she couldn't find one.

"Natsu, what's this room for?" Lucy asks.

"It's for the baby." Natsu says.

Lucy gasped and turned to him.

"It's a nursery?" Lucy asks.

"Yeah dummy he just said it was a room for the baby." Happy teases.

"But why?" Lucy asks.

"Because your apartment doesn't have space for a nursery. So I built one here, and I knew you wouldn't be comfortable living here as it used to be so I added a few things to make it more comfortable for you." Natsu explains.

Lucy was starting to catch on and her tears came back.

"Oh Natsu..." She says softly.

"And I own this place so you don't have to worry about paying rent anymore, which would save us a lot of money that we'll need for the baby, so I was wondering how you might feel about moving in with me and Happy, Lucy?" Natsu asks.

"Yes Natsu! I'd love to!" Lucy exclaims and throws her arms around him in a tight hug.

He hugs her back and rests his head on top of hers.

"Well now that that's settled, there's one more thing you've got to do to make it official!" Happy says cheerfully.

The three of them stood outside while Lucy elegantly wrote her name with the paint brush onto the sign under Natsu's name.

"Why'd you write it so small?" Happy asks.

"Well, there's not much room since your names are so big on the sign." Lucy explains.

"Well to be fair we never expected anyone to ever move in with us. Much less a girlfriend." Happy says and glares at Natsu.

"Hey!" Natsu shouts in offense, making Lucy laugh.

"It's a good thing you wrote it small though Luce. We're gonna have to save room for the kids' names too." Natsu says and wraps an arm around her waist.

"Yeah, but we've got to make a kid first." Lucy reminds him.

"Alright then let's head inside and work on that while testing out the new bed!" Natsu says and Lucy squeals as Natsu picks her up and rushes her inside.

Happy looks at the sign and sighs.

"We're gonna need a bigger sign." He says.

---------

A/N: I hope you enjoyed! Don’t forget to comment!

[jq37]

thoughts on this week's ep?

**spoilers for broadway brawl**

***Before we start, I remembered as I was typing this one of the important notes I lost from last week’s recap: Interesting that Christmas seemingly went off without a hitch. I expected Santa to come back into play somehow (like, someone would check on him to make sure Christmas was still on or he’d call them in to help or something) but he hasn’t, at least not yet.***

My guys, my guys, my guys. Was that something or was that something?

I think I am on record as saying that combat is my least favorite part of ttrpgs generally speaking because I’m here for the RP but when a combat episode shines it really freaking shines (see eg: that first combat ep of Bloodkeep where everyone went full Galaxy Brain except for Matt who couldn’t hit a single thing) and this is such a good example. This is easily a top five ep of the season for me, maybe top three so let’s get into it and break down why it was so awesome.

We start right where we left off with Titania and members of her court having come into the theater to beat the tar out of Misty mid-show.

Quick note: At the end of last ep, it was set up so that Misty was thrust on stage right after hearing the mirror was on stage which would place this fight right at the top of Act 2 but at the start of this ep, Brennan seems to indicate that it’s taking place during what would be the closing number. Which would make more sense but imagine you go see a play, the first act is super dope, and then the second act is an insane, minute long fight that’s pretty unconnected to the plot and then a buff, naked, beautiful man tells you the show is over and you should leave. Wild. Anyway.

Pixies with tommy guns in inherently funny.

So one of the things that makes this fight really great is the way it directly ties into the story in a way besides “These bad guys are in our way.” Misty is using this show as a part of her reincarnation spell so if the show is messed up, it fails and she’s on her last life. Brennan has a cool mechanic of making her roll death saves every round at a difficulty lower than her modifier (which is s/t crazy like 11) but that gets harder with damage done to her and performance checks failed by other players who decide to jump on stage. It’s a great way to make the battle feel like it has more personal stakes and it’s my fave original Brennan mechanic since the Family in Flames Sophie’s Choice situation.

(I love that the death save counter is changed for theater comedy/tragedy masks for this. Nice touch.)

Em, Esther, and Wally are also at the fight which is clutch.

Also, Sondheim is specifically here which is an insane detail to add just because.

WILD that no one knows what’s going on with the ritual initially because, as Lou almost does, getting all the civilians out is the smart move and it would COMPLETELY ruin Misty’s plans instantly.

Lou having Kingston take the stairs bc’s he’s 50+ years old and has no time for that nonsense has equal but opposite energy to him doing extra rolls for Fabian to do unnecessary parkour before a simple attack because Fabian’s Like That.

Murph fireblasts the hell out of Titania’s foot soldiers right off the bat from outside of counterspell range which is very cool.

“Give me a performance check for the cockroach.”

“You’re upstaging me bitch?”

Another great thing about this fight is that because of it’s theatrical nature, everyone’s RPing it more than a usual battle ep (or more intensely maybe is what I mean).

Titania hypnotizes Don Confetti and his goons into fighting for her.

“She doesn’t know she’s in a play but she does sing most of her dialogue which is helpful for you.” Titania is just Like That.

Pete drops an erupting earth and drops a sick 37 damage on those same minions Kug got.

I didn’t notice before but yeah, Ally does roll die like a f-ing beyblade champion.

Emily hearing Murph’s low key, offhand comments and cracking up is great.

“Get Sondheim!” (Emily and then Ally: WHAT?!)

Actual living dude Stephen Sondheim being involved in this fight is just so ridiculous and fun and crazy.

We go around to Misty’s turn and she has to beat a 28 (upped from 10) and she fails which feels worse than a normal failed death save somehow.

Lou, in a very good RP move, tells Pete to tell Misty to end the show so she can tell them not to so the group has a valid reason to not evacuate which is a thing they (or at least him and Ricky) would obviously want to do.

Sophie, the madwoman, jumps out of the balcony, grabs a costume, then runs on stage. Emily’s glee at being told that her grabbing the costume will give her advantage is great. She’s always trying to figure out how to make the most of her moves. She is the living embodiment of the concept of method to madness (which is from Hamlet since we’re talking Shakespeare today). 

Ox is constantly dying (Brennan!) but also it’s like, why was he even there before the fight started? I’ve never seen a non-service dog in a theater.

Ricky: Is this part of it?

Oh, forgot to mention that everything that happens on stage is kinda shielded by the Umbral Arcana so everyone watching thinks it’s part of the show, which is a cool plot detail.

Ricky gets fULLY NAKED (Emily, with perfect comic timing: Now do I roll with disadvantage?) and leaps into the fray. He casts Protection from Evil and Good on her which (1) He does by Magic Mike body-rolling on her while he’s naked and considering how much shorter she is that her raises some interesting questions about positioning and (2) is the most clutch use of this spell I’ve seen in a while. It’s a spell I always wanna take as a Paladin because it makes sense character-wise, but I’ve never been able to actually use it because we’re never fighting fiends, fae, or celestial.

Brennan’s dime change change reversal of the critic’s comments on Ricky’s body rolls when Zac re-rolls his 11 makes me glad I never had to face him in a debate team setting.

Ally: What’s Esther’s deal ;)/Brennan: *Esther’s Weapon Stats*

“Your only secret you’ve ever had in your life is that you have a crush on her.”

Wally has a beautiful singing voice and a working knowledge of Midsummer's which is wild.

Lou’s periodic, “My man”’s when Ally/Pete does something cool. He’s very dialed into being Kingston.

Ricky’s aura keeps everyone near him from being charmed and Misty saves everyone else w/ a nat 20 counterspell. Few things in D&D are more satisfying than a well executed counterspell.

Titania trying to get Pete to be her consort or something when he just over the super posh Priya is very funny.

“I mean between me and Sondheim, get Sondheim!”

“DO WE HAVE HOMEWORK TONIGHT?” (“We did have homework.”)

Anyway, Misty has one success now!

Misty tries to use puppet to get Titania to drop her crown and it doesn’t work. Brennan says the crown is Crown of Stars which I looked up and it’s actually a spell, not a physical crown, but I’m assuming he used the mechanical effects of the spell on a physical item.

Brennan doing all these musical/singing bits when he absolutely doesn’t have to. I love it.

I love Ricky and Sophie being the two martial fighting heavy hitters of the group. Like, the two fighters, having the spellcasters’ backs.

I hope the one kung fu fan in the back of the theater never sees another Broadway show again because he’s gonna be so disappointed. 

“I’m just so inspired by that beautiful penis.”

Murph, out of character, verbally acknowledging how insane what they’re doing is. I love when someone pauses in a game of D&D to just recite what’s currently happening out of context so everyone can appreciate how crazy it is. D&D. Gotta love it..

Emily and Siobhan have a quick conversation in the background about whether Sondheim did Les Mis or not (not, that’s Claude-Michel Schönberg) while Brennan and Murph are Ring nonsense.

I also was mildly suspicious of Alyssa so I’m glad Kingston checked her out.

The entire roast of Brennan when he’s selecting D6s is an instantly iconic D20 moment. I can’t do it justice. You kinda just have to see it.

“Someone call Wizards of the Coast!”

Em, Wally, and Alyssa go out when Titania puts out a huge spell that blinds Kug.

“Yummy, yummy, tastes like ass.”

On Misty’s next turn, she rolls a fail which makes it 2 failures to 1 success. Brennan mentions that a nat 1 counts as 2 failures and a nat 20 counts as 2 successes. I’m sure that won’t be relevant later because you can’t foreshadow things when dice rolls are completely random.

Misty fails on puppet again again and Titania goes full Wicked Witch of the West on her and starts Jonesing for those shoessss.

Emily’s Emily(tm) move of the session is doing a flying leap at Titania, hitting her with a stunning strike and having Brennan retract the Box off Doom he was pulling out because she can’t save when she’s stunned. She just plummets out of the sky.

Don Confetti respecting the sacrament of marriage as he goes full Opera ghost and tries to garrote Sophie.

Ricky (still naked) grabs the crown from Titania, tosses it to Misty, and, with some improv and a good charisma roll, makes the show suddenly make sense to the very confused but entertained audience.

I’m so glad that Murph decided to turn into a bear and that they made the Winter’s tale ref. I should have had faith in Brennan and Siobhan, the theater nerds. Exit pursued by a bear y’all.

Lou and Emily bonding over being proud of their die for rolling well when they lend it out for a big roll.

Really wish Pete had wild magic surged in this fight. Just to add that extra bit of chaos. 

With a very good turn (no damage taken, no performances failed) Misty only has to avoid snake eyes to get through this turn. She leapfrogs over that low bar and rolls a nat 20, instantly fulfilling her win condition. At this point, the play is superfluous and Titania is still down.

“Brennan lost and now he knows reddit is gonna eat his ass.”

OK, remember how I said earlier that Misty seems like the kind of character you nudge a little temptation at just to spice things up? Yeah, her killing Titania and getting the crown of the Seelie Fae makes me a liiiitle apprehensive, but we’ll see how that turns out.

“I killed my queen! This is America we don’t have royalty here.”

“Bear, I don’t know who you are, but take me on your back, let me ride on stage.” —creator of West Side Story, Stephen Sondheim

Misty charms the critic at the show to make sure they get a good review which is such a fae thing to do.

Kingston’s clearly not loving attacking Don and Co. post “real fight” what with his whole Do No Harm thing (well, that’s Dr’s but same principle applies I assume) is a good character detail. For that matter, so is Ricky just taking Titania’s crown and not beheading her which he super could have done while she was down but it would have been very incongruous with everything else about him.

Brian “This isn’t Loony Tunes” Murphy throws Sondheim as a projectile weapon at a pixie who snaps the pixie’s neck and then does a monologue at the audience.

I love it when someone rolls low on an insight check and Brennan gives them useless info and then they repeat it in their character’s voice.

4 mins from the end of the ep, Siobhan realizes there are two Perrys in this story for the first time and has a bigger reaction to that than almost everything else in this ep except her nat 20.

Ricky looks for costume faun legs to cover his fully out dick instead of costume pants or even his own pants.

Misty starts glowing with reincarnation energy and she runs into her dressing room for privacy. Also, she still super hasn’t told anyone what’s going on. (ALSO, assuming she’s gonna make the world think she died, it’s gonna be wild for the company of the show to have their leading lady put on the performance of her life and then die on opening night).

“Who am I to refuse a crown when it’s placed so deftly upon my head?”

You know that behind the scenes thing where Brennan is like, “Yeah, I knew Siobhan was gonna steal that book,”? I got some of those vibes during the crown scene.

The implications of what Misty did are gonna be left until next ep but Brennan says something about her creating her own court and it looks like she’s recruiting followers in the promo. IDK how I feel about that (these stories tend to have great power--especially tied to powerful magical items--as a corrupting force) but I am very excited to see how it goes down! See you then!

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep1 Part 2: The Soul Stealing Motorcycle Card Gang With an Australian Accent

So a lot of things that happen at once in this episode, and one of the wild things is something that has been building for 3 entire seasons of Yugioh but because all this other stuff is happening, it’s like...secondary. Slowly, we’ve been watching all of these cards becoming more and more real to the point that yes, they are in fact Physical now--other people are noticing, it’s finally happening. the cards are finally real. Magic exists. This is a very big deal.

Like I’ve seen some of y’alls comments about how S4 is kind of crazy and well...cards becoming real was my one and only guess as to what crazy thing could happen in S4 and that happened halfway through the first episode so...it’s all uphill from here

But what’s crazy about this is that although this has been built up for so long,  all our main characters are so freakin distracted, that they look up at the sky and see...youknow...this tapestry here:

And treat it like they’re looking at a flock of really weird birds or something. Like this is world breaking, terrifying, end of the world, Independence Day level red alert and yet instead of the military marching down and shooting lasers at all of these things, everyone is going to just simply walk home.

No one is going to evacuate. Yugi’s Dad isn’t going to show up in a Mad Max style motorcycle in jean cutoffs and be like “I knew it was happening, Son, this is what I’ve been doing for the past 3 years PS, it was worth it now, huh?” no, that isn’t happening.

Instead we’re going to very patiently, and very carefully just not panic and walk home.

Everyone’s just gonna...walk on the sidewalk home, huh? Patiently follow traffic laws? Wait for the light to turn red and everything?

No one even slightly wants to know what any of these monsters taste like? Just me? I mean this is your one opportunity to cook and eat a scapegoat and you know that thing’s got to be delicious under barbecue sauce.

And the funny thing is, people saw this happening and was like “I should call that game company and let them know that there’s real ass dragons that look like their video game flying around.”

Like imagine that Nintendo became real and there’s just...Goombas everywhere. Would I be...calling the Nintendo Hotline?

Hell No. I would be checking all food blogs everywhere for how to roast a Goomba on a grill, because you KNOW those things would be nuts after a few hours in a marinade, draped with fried egg on rice.

But in Yugioh, they’re like calling up Kaiba Corp and hoping that customer service can somehow make the living, breathing dragons and whatever that flying turtle thing was just...stop existing. They’re pretty sure Kaiba can “turn off” the flying monsters.

I think I’m still spelling it wrong, too.

Also, Kuriboh is real now and that...sucks.

That’s a lot of gross hair just flying around and I guarantee it’s gonna give everyone lice. That nasty ass sentient ball of hair you pulled out of your shower drain is just...flying around outside with huge googly eyes.

Freakin sucks. You can’t possibly eat a Kuriboh, it’s way too much hair and I guarantee when you skin that thing it’s like just a meatball to put on the tiniest little skewer and that’s it.

Sorry Bro just informed me that Kuriboh is a ghost??????

???

Also one of the cards is straight up an American Quarter.

I just want to bring up that there’s one (1) cursed ass American Quarter somewhere on Earth and that is going to be a real shocker for the one person that picks up that Quarter and doesn’t realize that when you flip it, it can kill people.

And I just did hunt to figure out what the hell the quarter card is called and I’m starting to think maybe the the show made it up? Wtv my memory is patchy when it comes to the cards.

And for all the cards that are just people but with more muscles, what are they gonna do? Is Dark Magician gonna have to go try and get a reception job to pay the bills? Is anyone going to hire Dark Magician in this economy?

(read more under the cut)

On their pleasurable walk home amongst all the horrible abominations and I guess a couple of bizarre magician hats floating around, they come across...this:

They just left them there in the middle of the street next to this nasty ass Gecko that would ABSOLUTELY eat them.

Also that Gecko...that’s just an alligator that can climb walls, right? Like this is Florida level of insane terrible creature you never want to have climbing walls? That was the one thing we had on alligators--vertical walls.

Youknow, Florida is probably the only place on Earth in this Universe that is actually completely fine.

On the other side of town, Roland is having his best day ever.

I do enjoy that Roland's line was “Mr Kaiba assured me that it’s not their company’s fault” which makes it sound sort of like he had some serious doubts. And might still have some serious doubts. And that he’s so sure that it was Kaiba, that he’s just going to say the “company” isn’t to blame.

And so they decided, well instead of evacuating the city, lets go have dinner at the Muto house. So, they all decided to not check in with everyone else’s parents and family and instead had a fun hang out sesh and watched TV.

They went to school with this guy.

Like they went to school with this guy like a month ago and now he’s giving press conferences in front of a dictator-style tapastry.

The imposter syndrome in Domino High must be pretty wild if you’re always getting compared to Seto Kaiba, is all I’m saying. Maybe that’s why the rest of the class has just decided to drop out.

*Cut to Pegasus’ island where there’s like 80 dead wife zombies running around and Pegasus and Croquet have locked themselves into the bathroom while they watch the zombie wives eat whatever’s left of PaniK.*

It looks like my dream ending of Yugioh, that Seto Kaiba’s company gets sued to hell and back and everyone goes to prison isn’t quite realized yet but it’s looking slowly and surely more real every day.

Kind of surprising that they assume so quickly that Kaiba is lying when they’re sitting next to Pinocchio over here.

So once you think, well...they can’t add more to this episode, no, we’re just gonna straight up knock out Yugi’s Grandpa...again. He needs a life alert. Does Yugi wear a life alert?

And you’d think they’d assume that a monster did this, right? Nah. It’s people. Real ass people did this but not one of the many huge ass monsters that apparently are kind of like Pokémon and don’t feel like doing more than just flap their arms and sit on stuff.

Anyways, the God Cards are gone. Goodbye, Deux ex Machina cards.

Feel a little bad for the one building just directly under the shadow of obelisk, looking up and just seeing a giant, glittery, blue ass.

And then a whole bunch of motorcycles showed up??? Like MOTORCYCLES. And I was like “BRO are they gonna play cards on motorcycles!?” because one of the only reasons I decided “OK Bro, lets actually watch Yugioh” is, and I’ve said this before, because someone mentioned on twitter that they’ll play cards on motorcycles but no.

No one plays cards on motorcycles this episode, they just show up to rev their engines and shine their brights.

Also at least one of them has like the thickest stage Australian accent and it is...rough. He said “bum” once instead of “butt” and you could tell it was just...they said bum to make him sound a little bit more Aussie because we don't really know how to do Australian in the States. We don’t know how this accent works, I’m so sorry.

But anyways, apparently after the God Cards got their energy sapped out, they can now just...be played by whomever? Not entirely clear.

And then they just...drove away.

Like they drove away without even telling them where to go?

And I was like...maybe they just went to that building under construction right there that is...somehow directly across from Yugi’s house which is...directly across from a super wide 12 laned street?

But...that can’t be right, right? I’m sometimes a little confused by the geography of this show but it’s a cartoon and they’re hard to make so we’ll forgive it.

Anyway, while Grandpa Muto counts up the damages to send to the insurance company, they figure out where to go, probably by following the God Cards which are...summoned here like holograms although...they are real? Right?

Like...

...so if there’s monsters just flying around, and it’s all the monsters of the duel monster deck, then there is a version of Slither just hanging out somewhere already, right? Or is the one they summon with the card the real Slither?

The show never thought that hard about it honestly. You can both play duel monster cards which I believe are no longer holograms when you play them and also they just inherently exist now so...Lets not think about it and just go to a brand new fight club roof. You know how much these kids love construction equipment.

Also is this the roof of a freakin IKEA? Look at the size of that thing.

This cultist just begging for Seto Kaiba to run a helicopter straight into him. Which Seto would probably do all over again if Seto were here.

I guess Seto decided to either go the hell to sleep and hope tomorrow will prove today was a bad dream, or he is celebrating the very best day of his life with his brother, sight seeing all the dragons and desperately trying to lure the dragons into his home with carrots under a box trap or something.

This guy ABSOLUTELY does Shakespeare in the park and only gets like minor, very minor roles, right? Like he’s the understudy for King Lear’s manservant who has no speaking lines and just pours water into a cup in one scene? And he takes it VERY seriously?

Yo these side burns.

So bro was like, who do you think would have more product in their hair? This guy or Yugi? And it’s like..well...here’s the thing about Yugi’s hair, he’s got a lot of product, but he has enough scalp to tease the hell out of it. But how do you tease your side burns? How do you tease your side burns so they have the lift of an old timey moustache? you can’t. Those side burns are 90% Elmers glue.

Hello there, offbrand Final Fantasy guy I see you got a Cloud shoulder pad but you wear two of them.

...

It’s a look they chose.

I...there’s a lot going on with all of these looks, especially the guy who is straight up wearing pieces of armor on his shoulders in the middle here for no reason but oh I will get to the looks when we see them in more detail later.

But it’s like, do you think Mr Monocle, who’s only character design trait is a single Monocle, will stay in the show very long? Compared to these guys?

Hm.

I guess we will see.

Thanks, Pegasus.

Thanks for giving us absolutely NO heads up about any of your disaster cards you produced and let loose across the world. Congrats on that. Congrats on printing this freakin card that steals people’s souls and delivering it out there where children could find it in their happy meals.

Like do you think he printed the Orichalcos card before or after the God Cards? Because I’d like to think that he finished up shoving the God Cards onto Ishizu and then was like “phew, crisis averted” and then immediately painted a weird geometric shape and was like “Damn it! I did it again!? Every time I decide not to paint my dead wife I just paint something even worse!”

Anyways, it’s aesthetic takes me back to a much simpler time of my life, and when it shows up the Titanic song pops up in my head? I can’t explain it. It’s just very...very...

It just screams edgy Riverdance to me, maybe it’s just me, but I feel like it should be accompanied by Enya? Just me? The runes just seem very old world Europe.

Bro really wants these to be the runes above Noah’s fireplace and he’s been holding this in for like an entire season, but that’s not going to happen.

Because I have the receipts:

Evidence again that Noah’s fireplace was just what Noah thought art was, since he’s a computer and all. He rendered perfect fire and then got to the art and was like fuuuuuuuuuuu just like anyone else who first gets into Unity.

Anyway, Joey got knocked over, so Pharaoh decided to save his friends and it got him nowhere because, like we already figured out last episode and basically more and more every episode of Yugioh, Pharaoh is a freakin idiot.

So fun fact about the 00′s I’m sure everyone here fondly remembers unless you’re 12 (in which case, why are you on tumblr?) Remember how much we were OBSESSED with glowy blue-green lines and dots on everything in concept art? I really think that trend lasted until about James Cameron’s Avatar when we realized “we took it too far y’all” and then it just kinda died. Still hangs around, but it’s not quite as obvious as the 00′s when it was like “ah I see you have a glowy pastel magicky thingy in your art. A+, lets put it in a grimdark dystopian YA fiction.”

...It was a phase and seeing this shade of green as a glow just really brings me back to the halcyon days of a little less than 10 years ago. It’s very something that would have been in steampunk.

They also get this logo on their head when they use this card, just like Pharaoh but significantly less cool. And it’s on all this guy’s monsters too, so everyone gets the power of branding. With this logo that looks like a joke Portlandia would make about indie logos.

Pharaoh kind of shrugs this off because like...his soul lives in a freakin necklace and he has magic so...whatever.

And then we get the full cheese spread--look at this cheese!

WOWOWOWOW

Look at Dieselpunk Amelie! Here I thought that now Marik wasn’t around we’d have no more stupid crop tops, but it’s back and man I am so happy it’s back. Damn. Everyone has a popped collar covered in as many square inches of belts as they could fit on em. Belts just hanging off willy nilly in every direction so you can barely walk through a hallway without your belt slapping on the edges. Them walking through a revolving door must be the most dangerous game outside of Duel Monsters.

woah.

Oh man, and I didn’t even noticed that they made the middle guy ripped as hell for no reason. His arm looks like a Payday candybar.

But MAN.

Someone give that guy on the right a sword the size of himself because...holy hell his jacket is so massive that it has an accordion shoulder pad for some reason???

Oh shoot I didn’t even realize guy on the right has about 6 rivets on his fingerless gloves, too. Wow.

Oh man it’s a lot to take in.

Do you see em? Do you see how many weird ass accessories are all over these characters these underpaid animators will have to draw SO MANY TIMES?

Oh man, the poor cosplayers! It must be so hard to go from Bandit Keith--a fairly easy cosplay--to the Accordian shouldered 11-belted jacket on Mr I-Dare-You-To-Cosplay-These-Sideburns.

And then this guy screws himself:

I’m not gonna add him to the Yugioh Death Counter yet, but I have a feeling, especially after seeing how few belts this guy has on...I just have a really strong feeling he’s absolutely going to die.

Goodbye, normal guy, you were too normie for this bizarre world.

Anyway, feel free to leave in the comments, if Yugioh cards became real, which one would you immediately eat and how? (and we can count plant cards as actual plants for the vegans, even if they can talk or whatev--them’s plants, they’re kosher.)

(realizes I have no idea if there’s even plant type cards in Yugioh or if that’s just a pokemon thing)

Anyway that’s all for now but if you just got here, this is a link to read all my Yugioh recaps in Chrono Order, fair warning...this is S4.