#it’s giving jake and ella

[topguncortez]

whatever you do… do not think about Jake holding your newborn child on just one arm. he just stares at this little girl fitting on his forearm. even though the doctors said she’s normal length, he still doesn’t believe it because she just looks so small and so fragile.

but that’s how jake “measures” the growth of his daughter. he measures how heavy she feels when he lifts her up with one arm. you scold him when she gets older but jake loves the sound of her giggle when he does bicep curls with her.

it breaks jake’s heart the day he can’t lift her up with just one arm. he knows his little girl won’t stay little forever.

“c’mere babygirl… you’re getting all big and grown on me. soon you’re going to be going to school, and learning to drive, and staying away from a certain bradshaw boy… you’re growing too fast.”

[emily-ella-nightshade89]

JAKE MOTHERFUCKING LOCKLEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nomniki]

also thinkin abt tokyo ghoul ! enha

[soobnny]

classmate au | kim sunoo

❝ no one is allowed to borrow my art materials except for (name) ❞

heeseung | jay | jake | sunghoon | SUNOO | jungwon | ni-ki

kim sunoo

sweet, sunshine, best friend kim sunoo

it was kind of SO obvious he wanted to be friends

like he wants to be close to you soooo bad and maybe it’s bc he saw u playfully bullying riki

it was love at first sight and an instant best friendship the moment you finally met

your seats were assigned so u were sat next to each other

THANK GOD U WERE

you two are basically inseparable now

sunoo strikes me as the type to just walk into the classroom and walk straight towards where you’re seated

at school events, he’d leave his backpack on the seat next to him to reserve you a seat

then he’d go “(name)!” while waving from his seat it’s actually kind of embarrassing

there is never anxiety of being seated next to a stranger bc sunoo has your back

he’d grab an extra mini fan from his bag to give to U bc these school events r always so scorching hot

sunoo does that “leaning against your locker while you get things” thing

he is so unaware of how HANDSOME he looks

oh and btw if you don’t attend class, he probably won’t in solidarity

in the chances that he does attend class, he usually sends you photos of his notes and everything you need to know

he’d be like i’m soooooo bored 2 minutes into the class without you like it hasn’t even STARTED

just prepare for his spam messages

after class, you’d buy street food and just gossip over it

you’d stare at what he bought and he’d roll his eyes before pushing the stick towards you so you can bite off it

YES feeding each other … normal best friend things

anyways moving on

another thing in my vision is that he’s the provider of art materials

the teacher suddenly lets you make a poster????

you know you’re secured bc sunoo is ur bff and will let only YOU borrow his supplies

“sunoo, let me borrow your colored markers”

“ok, which colors do you want” ☺️☺️☺️☺️

flat out will say no to everyone else tho

he’s kind of intimidating honestly despite having the sweetest smile

LIKE he’s friends with everyone but not friends friends

do you guys get what i mean

he is just a completely different person with you bc he trusts u the most and he just becomes CRAZY

like yall let him keep his crazy too much .. thank god you’re there for him to unleash it to

he’s one of the people who plays volleyball with riki and friends

but he’s absolutely horrible please save him

altho … why does he look so handsome playing even tho he can’t receive the ball? 🤨

he’d just laugh and crumble in embarrassment and you’d be the number one person cheering for him

(update after ella’s rb,, full credits to her) u would def put the blame on his teammates

“RIKI DO BETTER” even if it was 100% sunoo’s fault like so real

weird specific love language? buying each other water

he’s playing volleyball? you have a bottle of water for him in case he wants to sit out the game and watch with you

you’re finished with your physical education practical exam? he’s waiting for you with his big ass water jug

BUT LIKEEEE why is there a change in the air suddenly 😩😩😩

why is your best friend so boyfriend material actually

he holds your hand… holds it so firmly

sunoo gives the best hugs too

he makes you laugh and he’s so thoughtful with his stupid water and his art materials

even carries your things for you sometimes

AND yall take good photos of each other

“does my hair look fine?”

he’d reach out to fix it … tuck it behind your ear or look at you so intensely before going back to smiling n saying yup all good!

during the sports festival, yall are off joining some type of singing jingle cheer competition which is usually the first event

so you guys just joke around for the rest of the week, watch some events, and take LOTS of photos

you would laugh at your classmates

maybe even cheer for some of your friends

just as long as you’re next to each other

you probably bad mouth the opposite team BUT TO YOURSELVES .. not out loud

would clap so hard when your team wins a point !!!

also back to the taking photos detail

he’d just be dragging you everywhere to take photos bc when is the best time but NOW

ofc u do take his photos .. u ltrly take the Best

“sunoo, look, you’re so handsome here!”

and then you look up at him to see his reaction and he’s already looking at you

uh oh.

your faces are so close to each other like SO close

let’s step back and check the label 😂

BEST FRIENDS !!!!!

tho he does save u out of ur misery by asking you out a week later

bc apparently the sudden shift in air also happened to HIM

he brings it up as a joke first bc he’s testing the waters and he’s not trynna get rejected

“imagine if we were dating…..” and a long lingering pause in the air afterward

if you joked back with like a “LOL”, he’d know u don’t feel the same

but you ltrly go 😮 and so speechless bc why is he suddenly bringing this up when you’ve spent the last few nights thinking about him

did those tiktok manifestations work

did that tiktok audio actually get sunoo to like u back

“um… well! well, you see…”

“i like you”

“THANK GOD”

you guys are like waaaaay more inseparable now that you’re dating

your friends will fake vomit around u .. but don’t worry it’s just bc they’re bitchless

while u and ur bf sunoo are happily in love

btw he gets jealous easily TEARSSSSSS

he gets all pouty but don’t worry, you just have to Hug him and give him a kiss and he’s all smiles again

oh, and i feel the need to inform you that hugs are his favorite thing in the world

and CHEEK kisses like specifically cheek kisses.. he loves them

his ideal dates r just when you’re at each other’s house

you can order takeout and do your skincare together … watch the latest movies

his family loves you too

so much that they include your favorite snacks when they go grocery shopping

“sunoo, get those chips that (name) rly likes. u dont know when she might come over next!”

like they are ANTICIPATING you

enjoy dating i love sunoo

note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy

[ereardon]

Snowed In || Sunday [Jake Seresin x OC]

A Jake Seresin AU miniseries

Summary: When a massive storm shutters every airport in New York, you receive an unexpected call. Jake Seresin, the ex-boyfriend of your college roommate, is stranded at JFK with nowhere to go. Somehow you find yourself hosting Jake for a long weekend in your studio apartment. What happens when you realize that maybe your long-standing hatred for him was covering up something else? 

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x OC [Ella Finnley]

Trope: Forced proximity; enemies to lovers

Warnings: Cursing, references to cheating, eventual smut

Wordcount: 4.4K 

Masterlist here; Part two aka Saturday here

Jake reeled back from your slap, his face pink from the cold and the heat of your palm as it smacked his perfect tanned skin. His clear green eyes were wide with shock. 

“Ella, I—”

“No.” You shook your head, hair whipping at your cheeks. “What the fuck, Jake? You can’t run down the street like an inmate who escaped from Alcatraz and then just kiss me. You can’t spend eight years hating me and making fun of me and then turn around and say actually, no, that was all a facade, it’s because I’m a five year old boy who doesn’t know how to say he has a crush.” 

You could feel heat rising to your face despite the cold and your voice echoed off the nearby buildings. The few people who were within spitting distance turned their heads at your raised voices. 

“Are you doing this to embarrass me?” you demanded and to your horror, a small tear rolled down your cheek. You were surprised it didn’t freeze as it trailed downward. “Pretend to like me so that I fall for your charm and then when it’s over you just leave? Or maybe if I come onto you then you’ll back away and mock me. Is that it, Jake?” 

“Honey, no, absolutely not.” Jake stepped closer, holding out one hand hesitantly before pressing it to your cheek, thumb sweeping away your tears. “Ella. I meant what I said. No ulterior motives.” 

“I don’t believe you.” 

Jake sighed, running his hand through his hair. The rush of cold air hit your face hard as he removed his hand. You had to give it to him. He looked distraught. If Jake Seresin, golden boy, was even capable of looking that way. “I don’t blame you,” he said after a moment. His eyes searched yours. “I’m sorry, Finn. For letting you think that I spent the last decade hating you. Couldn't be further from the truth.” 

“What’s the truth, Jake?” you gasped, air freezing in your lungs on its way down. 

“I think you know,” he whispered. 

You shook your head, backing away. “No. If there’s one thing the last twenty four hours has shown me, it’s that I don’t know you at all.” 

And then you were turning around, taking off down the street, following the path you had just chased Jake down but in reverse, eyes watering from the speed and the freezing wind whipping at your face and Jake’s voice calling after you was just a whisper that got picked up and sailed away in a gust.

You burst through the double doors of your apartment building. Gerry looked up, surprise lacing his weathered face. “Miss Ella. Everything OK?” 

You shook your head, heading for the elevators. “Do you believe in timing, Gerry?” 

“Yes, I do,” he replied as you pressed the button, finger shaking. “Met my wife at a New Year’s Eve party forty-three years ago. She was there with someone else and I was too. But it didn’t matter. It was the right place and the right time and everything since then has worked out in our favor.” 

You looked up at him. “That’s not helping, Gerry.” 

He smiled. “So he loves you.” 

“Never said that.” 

“Don’t need to say it,” he replied. “I can see it in your face.” The sound of the doors flinging open turned both of your attentions. Jake stood, barely winded, cheeks pink, eyes wide. Gerry added, “I see it in his, too.” 

The elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Gerry held out one hand, pressing it open. 

“Goodnight you two,” he said. “Stay warm.” 

You stepped inside. “Goodnight, Gerry.” 

Jake stepped forward slowly, entering the elevator, his eyes trained on you, your eyes glued to the buttons on the far right wall. It was an agonizing ride up in silence. The heat from Jake’s gaze alone was enough to thaw you and by the time the two of you had ridden up five floors you were a melted puddle. 

After you unlocked the door and stepped inside, Jake stood, hesitating, on the threshold. 

You frowned. “What?”

He sighed. “I’ll leave, Ella. I’ll get out of your hair. But I just need to say one more thing.” 

“Where would you go?” you demanded. “It’s midnight and the city is practically shut down, Seresin.” 

Jake put his hands in his pockets. “I bought a unit in One57 last month.”

Your jaw went slack. One57 was one of the unbelievable skyscrapers on 57th Street aka Billionaires’ Row. It’s the most expensive building in the city, towering over the base of Central Park. Your eyes narrowed. “You’re fucking with me.” 

“I’m not.” 

“How could you afford that?” you demanded. “You can’t even afford a hotel.”

Jake smiled sadly. “Ella. I never said I couldn’t afford a hotel. I said you were my only option.” 

“That wasn’t true then,” you replied. “You have a fucking twenty million dollar condo sitting forty blocks north of here that’s probably filled with furniture that you’re not allowed to touch.” 

“It was partially true,” Jake said. His voice was much calmer than yours. His eyes were soft. Begging. This was Jake Seresin begging, you realized. “I spent years thinking that you were the one that got away, Ella. I had to come back and make sure of it.” 

Your breath caught in your throat. “And?” 

Jake stepped closer, crossing the threshold into the apartment. “Ella Finnley. I’ve enjoyed myself more the last two days than I have in the last five years. I came back because I thought that maybe there was a chance you’d be able to see me more as more than the douchebag that I was in college. That maybe you would be willing to look past who we were and focus on who we are now. You don’t know this, but I never stopped thinking about you.”

All you could feel was your heartbeat in your chest, the pulsing in your fingertips and neck and near your ear. Was this really happening?

“You’re intelligent and you’re so fucking sarcastic and you don’t take anyone’s bullshit and I couldn’t believe that when you opened the door on Friday that it was really you and that someone else hadn’t scooped you up years ago. And I thought maybe this was it. Maybe this was my chance to be happy.” 

“You’re rich,” you whispered, the words still sinking in. “You’re telling me that you, Jake Seresin, aren’t fulfilled?” 

He shook his head. “None of that shit matters, Ella. The money, the cars, the nice restaurants, the fancy clothes. You get sick of it after a while. I’d rather come home to this apartment every single night and sit on that uncomfortable couch with you and watch you read romance novel after romance novel and eat ramen noodles than go home to an empty apartment overlooking the park. Any fucking day.” 

“Jake.”

“It’s OK,” he whispered. “You don’t feel the same and I get that. Maybe I was stupid to try.” 

You stepped forward, closing the gap between the two of you, your chest practically grazing his as you breathed unsteadily. He was so fucking beautiful that it made you uncomfortable. “You are stupid,” you replied and Jake grinned. “That was never a question."

“I’ll get out of your hair,” he murmured, “and you’ll never have to see me again if you just answer one question.” 

“What is it, Seresin?” 

“Do you believe I changed? If not for you, just in general? Because that’s all I ever wanted, Ella. To be the kind of guy who was good enough.” 

You looked at him. How many times had you snuck sidelong glances at Jake Seresin while he and Suzannah were together? He was hot, even back then. Bronzed, muscular but not beefy, sweet Southern accent rendering anything he said charming with a side of cocky. Maybe you had only told yourself that you hated him because it was better than admitting the alternative. 

That you wanted Jake Seresin. But he hadn’t been yours to have. 

And now here he was, standing in front of you, begging for a chance. Asking if you saw his growth and change. Admitting that he had spent years of his life bettering himself so that one day he could stand in front of you a changed man and receive a simple acknowledgement. 

“Ella,” Jake whispered. “Tell me to go and I’ll go. I think this was a mistake.” 

“The mistake would be leaving before you convinced me why I should give you a chance to start with.” 

Jake smiled. “Convince you, huh?” 

You nodded. “I don’t know if you know this about me, Seresin, but I’ve been known to be stubborn.” 

“Is that so?” 

“It is,” you said slowly, reveling in the way Jake’s gaze never left yours. “So go on, Seresin. Why should I believe anything you’ve said in the last thirty minutes? How do I know it’s not some elaborate prank?” 

“You don’t,” he said. “None of us do, Finn. Life is a big cosmic joke. I’m just doing what we’re all doing. Trying to find that one person to spend your life with. Trying to find the person who makes you excited to get out of bed, the person you can’t get out of your head. The one person who sees you after everything you’ve done and still sees your potential, even when it was a bad day. The person who wants to celebrate with you on the good ones, too. The person who has more faith in you than you have in yourself.” 

“That’s a lot to put on a person, Jake,” you whispered. 

“I know it is, honey,” he murmured, raising one hand, skimming it along your cheek. “I can’t expect you to feel all those ways about me. Especially since up until yesterday I think you hated me. But tell me the truth. Do you feel differently about me right now, standing here, compared to yesterday when I showed up at this same doorstep?” 

“Yes.” It was automatic, the way the word tumbled out of your mouth.

He grinned. “Then anything is possible, Finn.” 

“You mean falling in love with you, Seresin?” 

“Maybe.” 

You shook your head, laughing. “You’re still cocky.”

“I’m working on it,” he murmured, hand sliding from your cheek, fingers wrapping slowly around your neck, thumb pressed tightly under your ear. “What do you say, Finn? Want to give me a chance?” 

“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?” you said softly, closing the gap between the two of you as Jake’s fingers on your neck tightened and suddenly his lips were on yours, his hand on your waist bending you backward from the force of his kiss. Jake swiveled you around, closing the door with one hand, pressing you against the wall both gently and firmly at the same time, his free hand locked behind your head, cushioning you. 

Jake slotted one thigh between your legs, pressing upwards gently until you found yourself moaning into his mouth as he grinned. “Fuck,” he murmurred, pulling back two inches, resting his forehead against yours. “You have no idea how long I’ve thought about that.” 

“Ten minutes,” you replied. 

Jake pulled back further, shaking his head, tracking one thumb pad over your swollen bottom lip. “Ella. Try ten years.” 

“Jake,” you murmured. 

He shook his head. “It’s OK if you don’t feel the same way,” he said quietly. “But if you want to stop, tell me and we stop.” 

You reached out and grabbed his collar, tugging him back in. “Don’t stop.” 

And then Jake’s mouth was on yours, his hands roaming over your chest and settling on your waist, pulling you in tightly before reaching down and hoisting you into his arms as you giggled. You didn’t even care that Jake’s shoes were tracking dirty snow into the apartment or that your jacket was brushing against the comforter as Jake sat you down gently on the edge of the bed. He stepped back, shrugging off his jacket and kicking off his shoes and you did the same, pulling your sweater overhead, locking eyes with Jake as you unbuttoned your jeans, shimmying out of them before settling back on the bed in a pair of lacy black panties and a matching bra. “Fuck,” he murmurred, closing the gap between the two of you, his mouth hot on your neck as his fingertips pressed against your side. “God, you’re gorgeous.” 

 “You going to compliment me all night, Seresin?” 

Jake pulled his lips from where they had slid down to the tops of your breasts. “Yes,” he said confidently. “And you’re going to like it.” 

You flushed. “Then at least take your pants off.” 

Jake smirked, standing up and unbuttoning his pants, sliding them off. With one hand he grabbed the back of his shirt behind his neck, tugging it overhead in a single motion. You couldn’t help it. You gasped. Jake Seresin looked like a marble carving that would sit in the Louvre. 

He was stunning. 

Jake leaned in, shifting you further onto the bed, his lips grazing your breasts before dipping lower, trailing a wet line of kisses down to your navel. “Like what you see?” 

“Shut up,” you groaned, but the words turned into a string of moans as Jake’s mouth landed on your panties, warm breath heating between your legs. He knelt on the floor next to the bed in his tight briefs, fingertips scraping along your sides, one hand squeezing your breast before he slid the silky material to the side, exposing your soaking core. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, leaning back to admire you. 

“Jake,” you whined, and he felt his heart start to rapidly beat in his chest. 

“I got you,” he murmured, sinking down, pressing his lips to your core, tongue darting out, spreading flat against your folds, tasting you for the first time. He hummed against you and you wiggled, but his hands held your hips steady, tugging you forward, consuming you. He was everywhere: his mouth on your clit, his tongue in your folds, his fingertips dragging along your hip bone under one sank deep inside of your walls, curling at the top, beckoning you to come. 

And you did. Unraveling at his touch, your moans filling the air as Jake plunged his fingers inside of your wet cunt, tongue lapping at your folds until you cried out. “Fuck!” 

Jake stood, hands still on your thighs as your chest heaved. Finally you pushed yourself up onto your elbows. There was an obvious tent in Jake’s tight black briefs. 

You smirked. “Want some help with that?” 

He leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours harshly, with one arm scooting beneath you and tossing you to the top of the bed as you let out a yelp. “You’re going to be the death of me, Finn,” he murmured, lips suctioned to your neck as you lifted your hips, brushing your soaking core against his hips. He was hard and you were desperate for him, your hand reaching out and grabbing him. Jake’s head collapsed against your neck as you smoothed your fingers over his bulge. “Fuck, Ella,” he whispered, voice thick and husky. “God, I want to be inside you so badly.” 

You pulled your hand away, shimmying off your underwear. “I need you.” 

Jake sat up. His green eyes were wide. “Sweetheart. You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear those words come out of your mouth.” 

“Don’t make me beg, Seresin,” you whispered. 

“Wouldn’t dare.” 

Jake crawled out of his boxers and you had to stifle a gasp. His cock was thick and long, practically dripping with anticipation. He pulled your legs so your hips were closer to where he was kneeling on the bed, running the tip of his cock along your folds as you whimpered. 

“Condom,” he muttered.

“Top drawer.” 

Jake leaned over, opening the box as you undid the hooks on your bra, flinging it onto the floor in the living room. He sat back, seamlessly rolling a condom over his cock, fisting himself a few times, eyes trained between your legs. Finally, Jake lifted his gaze to you, hand still sliding up and down his length as he panted. “I’ve thought about this so many times.” 

“Please,” you whispered and Jake hinged forward, sliding the head of his cock against your entrance until it hooked inside of you, pressing in slowly as you moaned. “God, yes, oh, fuck!”

“Doing so good,” he murmured as your legs spread further to accommodate him. “Almost there baby.” 

Jake pushed the final inch in, stuffing you full. Your eyes flew open. Jake had one hand pressed to your cheek, the other resting on your leg, pulling it higher over his hip. Your mouth opened as he pulled back, pushing into you again, setting a soft, delectable rhythm. It was just you and Jake and the sounds of your body slowly coming together and backing away, over and over as his cock brushed your inner walls, begging you to come against him. 

“God you feel so perfect,” he groaned, fingertips pressing your thigh back further, letting his cock slide deeper inside of you. “I could live in your pussy.” 

You cried out as Jake brushed against your g-spot. He shifted his hand to your clit, pressing down gently and your eyes widened, Jake’s hips snapping against yours as his fingertips swirled on your swollen clit. “Oh, my God,” you breathed.    

“Come for me, please,” he begged, chest glistening with sweat as he thrust harder into you. “Please, baby, need to feel you coming while I’m inside of you.” 

“Oh, oh fuck!�� you screamed as Jake pressed down, hard, against your clit, your vision going white for a split second as you broke apart along his length, shuddering, cursing as Jake grabbed your hips, driving his cock against your fluttering walls. 

“Ella, oh fuck! Jesus Chris, I’m gonna come!” And then he was filling the condom inside of you, collapsing so his chest was pressed against yours, his hips stuttering as he tried to slow his rhythm. “Fucking hell,” Jake whispered, rolling off of you gently, tugging off the condom and disposing it. He turned back, running one hand up your side. “You’re perfect.” 

And even though you were two orgasms deep, it had been almost a year since you had been touched before Jake. So when you leaned in to kiss him and his cock twitched against your bare leg, you smiled, pulling away. 

“What’s that look, Finn,” he asked. 

“Lay back,” you whispered, raking your fingertips down Jake’s rock hard abdomen, his cock already hardening against his thigh. 

“Oh, shit,” Jake muttered as you leaned down, taking his length into your hand, dribbling a ball of split onto the tip, massaging it over the head of his cock with the pad of your thumb. He laid back, eyes squeezed shut as you took him into your mouth, Jake’s fingers buried in your hair as he gasped, releasing himself against your throat, filling your mouth. When you pulled back, swallowing, wiping one thumb over your lips, his eyes fluttered open and he shook his head. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?” 

After showering, the two of you fell into a tangle on the bed. 

“This is so much better than the couch,” Jake whispered. 

“Go to sleep, Seresin,” you complained, his hand spread warm against your lower stomach. 

Jake pressed a kiss to your bare shoulder. 

Sometime just before sunrise, you woke up and looked over. Jake looked peaceful, golden hair spread out on the white pillowcase, one arm slung over the side of the bed, slumping down toward the ground, bare back and ass cheek visible from where he had thrown the covers off. Never in your wildest dreams had you imagined you’d be asleep, naked, next to Jake Seresin. That you would be able to tolerate being alone with him at all. 

But two days had changed everything. 

***

The sound of yelping woke you up a second time. The room was bright, light streaming in from the windows. You couldn’t tell yet if it was the brightness of snow or the winter sun blaring through. 

Next to you, the bed was empty. 

There was the yelp again, coming from the kitchen. Jake emerged a minute later wearing a pair of boxers but no shirt, carrying two cups of coffee. The minute he saw you sitting up, the covers pulled up around your bare chest, he grinned. “Morning Finn.” 

“What are you doing in there?” you asked. 

“Frying bacon,” Jake replied, setting down the coffee mugs on the nightstand to your right. Just as you raised your nose to sniff in the air, he grabbed your face with both hands, landing a kiss right on your lips. As if it was the most normal thing in the world. Like the two of you had woken up together for a hundred weekends in a row. When he pulled away, you felt your breath catch. Was this what it was supposed to be like? “Stay there,” he commanded. “And don’t you dare get dressed.” 

You leaned back, the sheets tucked beneath your arms, and grabbed one of the coffee cups as Jake scurried back to the kitchen. A few more yelps later and he emerged with a plate of bacon, two muffins and scrambled eggs. “Where did you get this?” you asked, picking up a piece of bacon and sliding it into your mouth. “Fuck that’s good.” 

“Snuck out while you were snoring.” 

You slapped his bicep and he chuckled. Jake was so muscular it didn’t even affect him. You let your fingers linger there for a moment before pulling them away. “I don’t snore.” 

“You do,” Jake said, a piece of bacon sticking out of his mouth. “It’s cute.” 

“No snoring is cute.” 

“Anything you do, Ella Finnley, is adorable.” A blush crept up your neck toward your face. You realized for a moment you had no makeup on. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this close to a man without makeup on. 

“Wait.” You frowned. “You went out this morning?” Jake nodded. “What about the snow?” 

“It’s gone.” 

“What!” You rushed out of bed, practically tripping on a corner of the rug, smashing your hands against the window. 

Jake was right. The streets which the night before had been layered with snow, were clear. Instead, they had been replaced by the usual threads of traffic: honking taxis and black town cars and every Toyota under the sun filled with Uber drivers. The sidewalks were congested once again. 

It was like the storm had never happened. 

You looked over at Jake, eyes wide. That was it. The magic of the snow was gone, replaced by the smell of the subway steam hot on the grates and hordes of pedestrians cluttering Fifth Avenue. 

Jake got out of bed, grabbing his henley shirt from where it was folded on his suitcase and handing it to you. You blushed, realizing for the first time that you were butt ass naked, standing in the middle of the room. The shirt was soft as you pulled it overhead and smelled like Jake: coffee, cinnamon, vetiver. The sleeves were long and you balled the excess fabric into your fists. 

This was the part of the movie where the princess turned back into a pumpkin. 

“Jake, I—”

“I’m staying,” he said, his words overlapping yours. 

“What?” 

“In New York. I’m leaving San Francisco,” he said. “That’s why I’m here. I’m moving my company’s headquarters out of the Bay and into the city.” 

“Company?” 

“I own FreeTek.” 

Your head felt heavy. Congested. FreeTek was one of those Forbes 100 companies. The kind with billion-dollar valuations and IPOs that they had billboards for in Times Square. It was a tech company that also helped to build schools in Africa and Central America. 

Your eyes boggled. Jake reached out, one hand cupping your neck gently. “Ella. I don’t want this to be a one-time thing.”

“We don’t even know each other, Jake,” you replied. “You’re just some guy that my roommate used to fuck.” 

He looked hurt, lips pressed into a line. “We know enough,” he said. “And what we don’t know, we’ll learn.” 

“It’s not that simple.” 

“It could be.” 

“Fuck, Seresin, I don’t know, OK. Two days ago I hated your guts.” You looked up at Jake and he chuckled. “One really good fuck can’t change everything.” 

“Really good, huh?” 

“Don’t be so proud,” you said. “It had been a while. I probably would have gone home with Raji, the bodega guy in about a week if you hadn’t come along.” 

“Does Raji kiss you like this?” And then Jake’s lips were on yours, his hands traveling down your back, pulling you in tight, holding your chest to his. 

When the two of you broke apart, he brushed the hair from your face before letting go, taking a step back. 

“I waited ten years, Finn,” he said softly. “What’s another week or another month?” 

“What do you think is going to happen in a week or a month?” you asked. 

Jake grinned. “You’ll realize the fairytale doesn’t end here, Ella. You and me, that’s how this story ends.” 

You shook your head, reaching out, wrapping your arms around Jake’s neck, tugging him in close. “God you’re a conceited dick, aren’t you?” 

“Yes.” 

You rolled your eyes as Jake smirked. “Alright, prince charming. Let’s go see this palatial apartment of yours.” 

Jake slipped his arms around your waist. “Is it bad I’m hoping there’s another storm so I can trap you inside again and have you all to myself for another weekend?” 

You looked outside. The sky was perfectly clear. Blue skies and small puffy clouds as far as the eye could see beyond the buildings. It was as if the snowstorm had never happened. 

And then, so fast if you had blinked you would have missed it, a snowflake drifted in your field of vision, hovering in the air outside your fifth-story window. 

You grinned. “Be careful what you wish for, Seresin.” 

Jake kissed the top of your head.   

Tag list [using my list from The Off-Season since it's my most up-to-date Jake list but if you're not interested in these types of fics just let me know!):

@double-j @topguncultleader @momc95 @hangmandruigandmav

@teacupsandtopgun @xomrsalliej4787xo @xoxabs88xox @blue-aconite @seresinhangmanjake @eminyourjeans @shawnsblue @babyminghao @sadpetalsstuff @angelbabyange @taytaylala12 @wkndwlff @mygyn @oneelleandaneye @averyhotchner @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @rxmtoon @valkyrja-siren-blog @horseshoegirl @abaker74 @clancycucumber230 @theharddeck @redbarn1995 @shanimallina87

@memeorydotcom @joaquinwhorres @bobfloydsbabe @gretagerwigsmuse @djs8891

@blackcatdhisgf @buckysteveloki-me  @eli2447 @bellaireland1981 @seresinslady @hookslove1592 @shotclock24seconds @fanficfandomlove @ryebecca @onceupona-happilyeverafter-love @t8r-tots

[bit-dodgy-innit]

The Magic Touch

Summary: Jake likes to take care of his wife who takes such good care of their newborn daughter. Set in THE SHAPE OF YOU verse 

Pairing: Jake x afab!Reader, with some minor Steven x afab!Reader and implied Marc x afab!Reader. Reader is married to the system and all three alters are no longer working for Khonshu

Rating: Tré Explicit, Minors DNI!

Word Count: 2.8k 

TW/CW: Heavy breast and nipple play, lactation kink, p in v sex, fingering, dirty talk, a little mutual masturbation, softdom!Jake, use of the term Papi, a smidge of spanking, mirror sex/exhibitionism between alters (?), cumshot, mentions of smoking and light bickering between a married couple. Also Reader & Jake speak a decent amount of Spanish/Spanglish with each other, translations for everything will be at the bottom of the fic!

A/N:...this fic could also be titled “A Return to Filth”. Honestly y’all some of the stuff in here surprised ME 😳 That being said, THANK SO EFFING MUCH to everyone who asked to be tagged in this and the just constant, unexpected stream of support and praise I’ve received since I posed the Shape of You!! 

“Look who’s up late,” Jake remarked, surprised to see you sitting on the couch with your infant daughter in your arms. 

“Someone does not want to sleep tonight,” you replied wearily. The sight of your husband was a relief for your tired eyes. You had barely gotten in a nap today and Nyla had been giving you trouble since sunrise. “How was the gig?”

“Bueno,” he shrugged, taking off his gloves and flat cap. “You know how those rich, fancy fucks are.”

An ambassador and his wife had hired Jake’s company to chauffeur them to and from a state dinner at Buckingham Palace that evening, the reason why he was now just coming in at 2:36 in the morning. 

As ghastly as the aristocrats were, they had the potential to be big clients. Like a down payment on a bigger place clients, so he’d insisted on doing the job himself, instead of sending a driver from his roster. 

Ever since Nyla was born, Jake had taken on more of a managerial role in his limo company, relying on the network of employees he’d built after he and his alters split ways with Khonshu once and for all. But the ambassador was too valuable a client to lose on the first job, and Jake had always believed “if you want something done right, do it yourself.”

“Mmmm, good,” you replied. “Let’s hope they use you again.”

“Si mami,” Jake agreed. 

Nyla began fussing, and Jake wasted no time crossing over to where you and her were curled on the couch. You grimaced, “She’s been like this all day, Jake.” 

“Princesa,¿por qué le estás haciendo pasar un mal rato a tu madre?” he scooped your daughter out of your arms and looked at the infant as if she could respond. “Hm?”

“You’ll just make her more fussy,” you told him, your tone tinged with irritation.

“No, no lo haré,” he argued, “porque yo tengo el toque mágico con ella.”

You couldn't help but roll your eyes. Oh, how times had changed. In the past, if Jake had come home late and murmured in Spanish to you about having “the magic touch”, you both would be up until sunrise fucking. Now you feared it would just make your overtired baby more grumpy. 

Jake paced around the flat, cooing to Nyla in Spanish, and lo and behold, he did get her to settle down. Perhaps he did have el toque mágico after all. He cocked his head toward Nyla’s nursery, silently communicating that he’d put her in her crib. You nodded, beginning to doze off yourself. 

Jake had been uneasy at first around his newborn. It made sense, so much of his existence had been blood and violence, and Nyla was the most precious, fragile being he’d ever known. Yet the nerves melted into his trademark, indefatigable confidence soon enough, you didn’t even need to have a pep talk with him like you did with Marc for Jake to come around. Nyla was his princesa, and you had no doubt that he’d do anything for his little girl just like her other two dads. Although, you guessed Jake’s “anything” was a lot more gruesome than most. 

Your husband tiptoed out of the nursery back to where you had slumped into the couch. 

“Gracias,” you thanked him, your eyes weighted with exhaustion. He padded over to you. “I forgot how good you looked in uniform.”

Personally, Jake hated the monkey suit high-profile clients required him to wear – that had been one of the perks of working for Khonshu, at least the old bird let him wear street clothes on the job – but if you were into it, he’d make the most of it. “¿Te gusta?” 

“Mmmm, si,” you whispered just before your lips met. Jake kissed you gently, as if he was trying to absorb your tiredness and stress. 

“How can Papi make you feel better?” he murmured into the skin of your neck. “Mi esposita cuida tan bien de nuestro bebé, quiero cuidarla bien.”

“Jake,” you sighed as he dropped his kisses to your clavicle, just above where you both knew you wanted his mouth. 

“You want Papi to suck on your tetas?” he asked, already knowing the answer. “Play with ‘em just how you like it?”

You assented with a whine and emphatic nod of your head. Jake reconnected your lips while you unhooked the cups of your nursing bra, your shirt followed moments later. 

Jake’s eyes darkened in the low lamplight of your living room, his dilated pupils turning his irises black and sending a shiver down your spine. He pressed kisses into the tops of each of your full breasts, then drew a line in the valley of your tits with the tip of his nose. His ministrations made your nipples harden. 

“Mmm, nice and ready for me,” he laughed lowly before bringing his mouth to one of your peaks. 

It had been an hour or so since you’d fed Nyla, so it took a few pulls of Jake’s mouth before any liquid landed on his tongue. Even so, his warm, wet touch felt wonderful around your sensitive bud. A little cry of delight escaped you when your milk began to flow, the vibrations of your husband’s satisfied groan only amplifying your pleasure. 

Jake’s hand snaked its way to your other tit. He paused his worship to wet his thumb, then brought the digit to your unoccupied breast and began tracing the circumference of your nipple. Soon you were leaking from that teat as well, an undeniable slickness pooling between your folds while Jake stimulated you exactly how you craved. 

“Jake,” you moaned, twining your fingers into his hair then tugging to angle his head up and get his attention. “Bed.”

Another deep groan resonated from your husband’s chest. “You tired?”

Well, yes, you’d been tired since Nyla took her first breath. Before that actually, maybe month six of your pregnancy when your bump really started to grow? Tired was neither here nor there. You wanted to be taken care of. “Want Papi’s cock.”

Jake flashed you a shark-like grin. “Vamos,” he said before throwing you over his shoulder. 

“Jake!!” you reprimanded him in the harshest whisper you could make without waking Nyla. 

Your husband ignored you, opting to lay you out on the mattress and pull off your incredibly sexy yoga pants. Before you could fidget and try to cover your postpartum body, Jake descended on you. 

“I think this other titty needs some love while I get you ready for Papi’s cock, nena,” he murmured before he dove back into your chest. 

Your breath hitched at the return of his lips on your boob. He didn’t hold back, vigorously suckling at your peak, flooding his mouth with your milk. Jake being so unashamedly into this made you feel better about this unlikely kink of yours. Maybe you and Steven weren’t complete freaks. 

The mix of suction and relief was the most intoxicating combination while Jake lapped at your nipple, alternating his attention between tugs with his lips and drawing stripes with flicks of his tongue. 

Meanwhile, he tucked a hand between your legs and began toying with your pussy. He ran his index finger between your folds to part them, then quickly transitioned to using the digits to draw tights circles into your clit. You mewled and Jake pulled off your breast to swallow your noises with his mouth. You two were having too much fun to be interrupted by Nyla. 

“Silencio, cariño,” he punctuated his reminder by sliding a finger into your cunt. 

“Nnngh,” you grunted, biting your lip to keep the sound from spilling out, “Easy for you to say.” 

He winked at you, a gesture that should’ve been infuriating but instead just made you wetter. Jake worked another digit into your pussy while he returned to your bosom, latching onto a peak once again and greedily drinking down everything you had to offer. 

“¿Estas lista?” he asked you once his fingers were gliding in and out of your core smoothly. 

“Please Papi,” you gasped. Jake stood back up to shed his clothes. You couldn’t help that your own hand snuck down to rub your clit while you watched him undress, he’d worked you up so much. 

The last item of clothing to be discarded were Jake’s boxers. He shucked them off and then stood proudly before you, his hands resting on his wide hips, unabashedly displaying his leaking erection. 

“Look what you do to me, Señora Lockley,” he rasped, gripping and pumping himself a few times at the sight of you touching yourself. 

“Tan grande, amor,” you purred. 

He pounced on you at your words, maneuvering you onto your hands and knees. The position shouldn’t have come as much of a shock, it was Jake’s favorite, but you hadn’t been able to do it since early in your second trimester. An extra spark of desire zinged through you at the thought of returning to it. 

Your husband guided his cock inside of you, taking it mercifully slowly, since he too knew how long it’d been since he’d been able to fuck you from behind. This wasn’t the first time you’d had penetrative sex since having Nyla, but the initial tenderness was still necessary in your postpartum state. The gentle start made you love Jake even more since he was the king of the rough fuck, which normally, you thoroughly enjoyed. 

Once he’d bottomed out and checked on you again, Jake began moving. You’d forgotten how full your husband’s thick dick felt like this. The swaying of your dribbling tits just added another delicious layer of dirtiness to your lovemaking. 

Jake knew he could pick up the pace of his thrusts when he felt you pushing back onto his cock. He angled you juuuust so and then unleashed the full force of his hips, fucking you so hard you were nearly knocked down onto your elbows. 

You pussy tightened around the hot, hard rod inside of you and keened, “Fuuuuck, Jake, that’s so good.” 

“Mmmm yeah,” Jake groaned. “Always take care of you, gonna fuck all the stress out of you.” 

You responded with a yip when your husband took hold of both of your hips to piston his cock into your tight channel even more relentlessly. 

“Ooooh yeah,” Jake continued to ramble in his sex-addled state, “such a pretty picture you’re making for me. I get to see your big, milky titties swing while you make these cheeks clap for me. Joder, sí, mami.”

Your husband’s filthy words made your cheeks burn and bite your lip as you continued to work your cunt back on his cock. He elicited a squeak from you when he smacked his hand across one of your ass cheeks, enjoying the way your flesh jiggled after he spanked you. 

“Steven thinks you look so sexy right now, isn’t that nice?” Jake remarked casually as if he was commenting on the weather and not railing you into next Tuesday. 

Your eyes snapped open, and you craned your neck from where it had been hanging between your shoulders. All of your attention had been consumed by Jake playing your body like a violin that you hadn’t noticed he’d positioned you in front of the mirror in your bedroom, but of course he did.

“Th-thank you, huh-honey,” you stuttered out, hoping Steven could hear while Jake continued to pound into you. 

The two of you made a thoroughly debauched scene. Your hair was mussed, your lips kiss-swollen and your full, engorged breasts moved in time with each drive of Jake’s length into your sopping cunt. 

You could just make out a little pearl of liquid on the tip of your left nipple, both of your puffy peaks still glistening from Jake’s mouth and your milk. Your reflection made you blush more deeply, and you could only imagine that Steven was absolutely losing his shit over the pornographic tableau you and his alter made. You’d have to let Steven try fucking you like this, if you made it out of this round of sex with Jake alive, that was. 

Jake withdrew his cock for a moment and next thing you knew, you were on your back again. He swiftly re-entered you, the hammering of his hips so strong it drove you back a few centimeters towards the pillows. Locking your legs around his torso, he dropped onto his forearms and brought his lips to your ear to entreat you, “Come on, let Papi have his leche dulce.” 

You complied with a whimper and a clench of your core, your hands coming to cup your tits and squeezing them so milk sprayed from your nipples into Jake’s open, eager mouth. A splash missed his tongue, landing on the corner where your husband’s lips met instead. His tongue quickly darted it out to lick it up and you almost came from the sight alone. 

You threw your head back into the blankets, unable to muffle your moans as Jake drove into you. 

“Does mamacita want to come?” he asked huskily. Your answer came in a strangled whine. 

He complied, replacing his cock with two of his fingers again and recaptured a nipple in your mouth. He stroked your walls, finding your g-spot with practiced ease while his thumb pressed into your clit. Your orgasm seized you in an eruption of pleasure, and thankfully you still had the wherewithal to grab a pillow and smash it into your face to muffle your cries of ecstasy as your husband worked through your blinding, white-hot release.

When your climax had crested and you managed to discard the pillow, you were greeted with the sight of Jake straddling your waist frantically jerking his cock over your tits. 

“Ohhh my, shit,” you panted, trying to urge him along, “unnngh, come for me, Papi.” 

Your plea pushed your husband over the edge, spurting his seed onto your tits barely a moment later. He peaked with a choked off gasp, needing to brace a hand on the bed frame so he didn’t collapse on top of you. 

The haze of lust slowly that had blanketed your mind slowly began to evaporate, and you looked down at the cooling cum splattered across your breasts. You glanced at Jake, who’d flopped onto the mattress next to you. “You’re nasty.”

“You love it,” he retorted without opening his eyes.  

“Hmm, I do,” you admitted. “Pero ahora tu esposita necesita una toalla.”

Jake grunted. His legs hadn’t steadied after coming his brains out just yet. 

“Rápido, por favor.” 

“Alright, alright,” Jake pushed himself upright and lumbered to the en-suite. “I worked all night, bien? Go easy on me.”

And you’d been with your baby all day. As much as you appreciated your husband providing for your family, you couldn’t muster the sympathy he’d hoped for. “Right, because none of that time was spent shooting the shit and smoking with the other drivers.”

“I quit,” he called from the loo. 

“I could taste it on you,” you shot back as he walked back into the bedroom. “Be happy I’m tired and you made me come too hard to properly give you shit about it.” 

“Mmm, you did come so hard for me nena, didn’t you?” Jake rasped, passing you a damp towel and climbing back on the bed. “Made me spurt all over your tetas.” 

Just him saying it caused a little aftershock of arousal to ripple through you. “Between you and Steven I have to make sure there's enough milk left for the baby.” 

Jake’s expression turned serious. “Oye, they were our titties first. We’re letting Nyla borrow them.” 

Before you could giggle like you wanted to, he kissed you again, licking into your mouth to prove something. “I had two drags of another driver’s cig. It was a social thing, a networking thing. I told you I’d quit when you got pregnant.”

“Good. Because A, it’s bad for you, and B, I get worried about Nyla and all the–”

“Yo sé, yo sé,” he tried to quell your rising concern. “It was stupid of me to do.”

You should’ve pressed him harder on it, but you were helpless to the way he kissed the top of your head and held you in his arms. Maybe times hadn’t changed as much as you thought, you were still letting Jake off the hook after a particularly toe-curling orgasm and whispered bilingual assurances. Which jogged your memory…

“How did you get her to go down, by the way?” you asked, the two of you slipping between the sheets. “What, did you use some residual Egyptian god magic?”

Jake laughed, an undignified snort. “No magic…aparte de mi toque mágico. Besides we don’t need Khonshu or any of them, we have each other, si?”   

“Si,” you concurred, snuggling into him. Jake may have a big mouth along with his toque mágico, but at least he knew the right thing to say most of the time and how to use those hands of his. 

Read the follow up fic: DROPPING IN

A/N: *clenched teeth emoji* hope everyone enjoyed! I’ll make the next fic softer and fluffier, I promise 🥴 Though I kind of adore the dynamic that emerged between the reader and Jake, they love each other deeply but also give each other shit in the same breath. 

Again, thank you thank you THANK YOU for all the encouragement and engagement with this series, my inbox is always open if you have request or thots! 

Taglist: @twwcs @rmoonstoner​ , @hot-mess-express1​ , @murdickdocked, @toracainz​ @saahmi​​, @unspokenmoon​​, @winterbiipp​ @avatarofseshat​​ @ilikeoldermenhelp , @losers-club6​​, @lovely-cryptid​ ​, @stormkobra-5​ @johnny-simpfinger​

Translations:

Bueno - Good

Si mami - Yes mommy

Princesa, ¿por qué le estás haciendo pasar un mal rato a tu madre? - Princess, why are you giving your mother a hard time? 

No, no lo haré...porque yo tengo el toque mágico con ella - No, I will not...because I have the magic touch with her

Gracias - Thank you

Te gusta - You like it? 

Mi esposita cuida tan bien de nuestro bebé, quiero cuidarla bien - My little wife takes such good care of our baby, I want to take good care of her. 

tetas - tits 

Vamos - Let’s go

nena - baby/babe  

Silencio, cariño - Quiet, honey 

¿Estas lista? - Are you ready?

Tan grande, amor - so big, love 

Joder, sí, mami - Fuck yeah, mommy 

leche dulce - sweet milk 

Pero ahora tu esposita necesita una toalla - But now your little wife needs a towel. 

Rápido por favor - Quickly please 

Bien - Okay

Oye - Here 

Yo sé - I know 

aparte de mi toque mágico - other than my magic touch 

[whatislovevavy]

10. As You Wish

Jake Seresin x OC (Caledonia Hughes)

WC: 5.8k

Masterlist  Previous Part   Next Part

Warnings: swearing, smut (18+), some angst but don't worry ;)

AN: Apolgies for the wait, but here it is enjoy :) Thank you @sebsxphia for the encouragement to write this story when it was in development, it means the world <3 Also a big thank you to @royallyprincesslilly for the design of the divider 

Please consider leaving a comment, a tip, or reblogging, leaving likes doesn't do anything on this hellsite. It helps with motivation when writing and the tips help since I’m between jobs at the moment :)

All of my writings will be added to my writing side blog @sophs-writing-nook 

These characters, except for Caledonia and Ella, are obviously not my own. This is an 18+ fanfic, so minors scoot pls. You are responsible for the media you consume. Do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate this fic without my explicit permission as it is my own creation. 

Jake could feel his breath settle into the deepest part of his lungs, like a layer of fog sinking into a valley. 

You looked just as beautiful as the day he last left you. 

"What are you doing here?" 

His heart ached at your apprehensive tone.

He swallowed down the lump in his throat, trying to stop any tears from flowing down his cheeks. 

"I-I, uh" 

You looked at him with that same sense of fear that he never wanted you to view him with. 

He swallowed, diverting his eyes.

Your gaze was too much for him. Too heavy for him to meet. 

"I needed to see you."

Your eyebrows rose. Arms crossing as you bit the inside of your cheek, scowling.  

"Why?" 

He swallowed again, his throat almost closing as your steadily piercing gaze met his own.

He tried to take a step towards you.

You took one to match behind you. 

The sight made his heart clench. 

Every smile he brought to your lips, every sweet laugh, and adorable snort was canceled out by the sight. 

A tense silence settled between you both, disrupted only by the soft buzz of the overhead parking lot light. 

You sighed, toying with the strap of your purse. 

"You said," you licked your lips, "we shouldn't do this anymore. I'm sorry. What did you mean by it?"

His shoulders tensed as he took in your tense jaw and eyes that were now as sharp as hypodermic needles. 

"I said that-" 

"You texted me. You didn't even have the decency to say it to my face."

He took a deep breath in, eyes full of remorse. 

"Please hear me out, Caledonia. I thought- I thought I couldn't give you what you deserved. I-I screwed up." 

Your eyes fluttered in disbelief, his tone nothing like you ever heard. 

He ran a hand through his disheveled hair, letting his glassy eyes meet yours, almost missing the slight shift in your demeanor. 

"I don't… I don't understand." 

You swallowed as you saw him take a step closer to you.

You stood still and let him, the soft lapping of waves along the shoreline and high pitched ring of the overhead parking lot light caressing your ears. 

He took another step towards you, his heart warming at the fact you didn't flee. 

Perhaps all was not lost. 

"It's not an exaggeration to say that these past four weeks without you have been some of the worst weeks I've experienced in my entire life. And, " he took a few tentative steps closer, swallowing. 

You put a hand softly on his chest to stop him from coming any closer, and his trail of words.

You swallowed, shaking your head, moving your eyes up to the light polluted night sky, and biting your lip as you thought of the right words to say. 

"Do you realize what you put me through? You don’t get to come here and act like I’ll always be the one desperate and waiting for you,” you sighed,” you dropped me after your job was done. Did you only want me so you could say you could take someone's virginity and brag about it later? Was that all I was to you?"

"Caledonia, no-"

"You made me think, " you scoffed, "that there was even the smallest chance that you cared about me… wanted me, and that's more cruel than anything I could ever do to you."

Your voice held something foreign as your eyes teared and your hand retracted; venom.

"Do you have any idea the mental state you put me in? How much hope you gave me? Or were you too busy thinking about the ego boost you'd receive bragging about how you took the unwanted girl's virginity to think about it?”

Your snarl made his heart clench.

Jake could feel the tears start to build up, his voice thick and shaky. 

Unwanted?

"I -I never thought of you as being unwanted-" 

"Really? You're telling me you had nothing to gain from screwing the hard to love, mentally decrepit, overweight girl? Huh? Is that why you came to my defense at the retirement gala? To get brownie points to screw me more?"

Your voice was thick with frustration, hot tears flowing down your soft cheeks as you angrily wiped them away, scolding yourself for crying in front of him. 

“No, No, that was never my intention-”

“God, Jake, why are you here? Really here? Because it can’t be for me.”

As soon as the words left your lips, it clicked. 

Like the final piece completing a puzzle. 

Jake’s heart clenched at the scoff that left your lips.

“You’re only here for you. You did this whole thing for you. Not for me, you selfish bastard.”

His skin crawled at the seethe and frustration thick tone, your rage boiling over. 

“Caledonia- you’re right. I did it for me, but not in the way your thinking-”

You scoffed, “Jesus, I should have listened to Phoenix."

You put your shaking head into your hands, raspy breaths coming through the cracks between your fingers. 

His lip quivered, “I did it, because I wanted you and I didn’t know how to be with you.”

Your breathing paused, the ringing prominent in your ears as you took in each letter of each heavy word passing his lips. 

“Jake, don’t bullshit me. You could have any girl you want, so why did you have to play with me like this?”

Your strained, wounded voice broke him.

He swallowed and continued, "I did it because it was the only way I knew how, you’re so smart and sweet, you deserve someone who’s just as smart as you, just as sweet and kind… someone who deserves you.”

Your eyebrows furrowed.

He let out a shaky breath, “I, um, I’m not good with relationships. I’ve only ever had one serious relationship in my life and it… didn’t go well, in the slightest.”

“I’ve been doing what I’ve been doing for years…”

Sleeping together with no inent of remembering their name. 

Skin on skin with no intent to remember their softness. 

The way their whispered words of pleasure met his ears. 

It all made your skin itch in the moment. 

“...Because it was safer. I-I’m not good at this,” he scoffed, aggressively running through his already disheveled hair, “ I fly multi-million dollar jets at the speed of sound and I’ve never been scared once to do it. But being with you? Intimately and wholly? That scares me. It always has. And I didn’t know why until tonight.”

He took a shaky breath.

“Because if someone as good as you can love me, then I have something to fear up there,” your glassy eyes watched as he languidly pointed up towards the inky, onyx night sky. 

“I have something special to lose if I burn in, and that’s you. Since I saw you in your jeans and X-files shirt working Penny’s bar top for the first time, with your cute ponytail and sweet smile, it’s been you. And I’ve been too stupid and blind to see it. ”

He swallowed, eyes teary, gently reaching out for your hand. 

"Please, Caledonia, I- I can't let you go again." 

Your glassy eyes shot from his own to his calloused hand cradling your soft one.

You knew what he was asking. 

"Jake, I… I can't."

He was already so close, your eyes moving from his pleading eyes to his lips, and back to his eyes. 

You hated how this man held the power to make your resolve crumble to a fine powder. 

"Please, just one chance to make it right." 

You swallowed, almost tasting his natural, soothing scent as a soft ocean breeze brought it to your senses.

"I already gave you a chance, and look where it got me,” you whispered to him, fighting with yourself, unable to push him away. 

Jake softly bit the inside of his lower lip. 

Your body tensed as he gently lowered himself to the asphalt, his hand still softly holding your own.

You don't know why you let him keep hold of your hand, but you couldn't stop him even if you tried. 

You'd never seen this man plead, much less get on his knees for something. Or someone.

The sight almost made you wince as you imagined how the small pebbles would dig into the skin of his bare knees.

Almost. 

He swallowed, voice thick. 

"Answer me this one question, and I promise if you say no, I'll never step foot in the Hard Deck again and you'll never have to see me again." 

Your breathing rattled in your throat. 

His jaw tensed, eyes gleaming with bubbling tears in the overhead parking lot light. 

You looked so beautiful from his place on the asphalt, like a man begging for forgiveness from a goddess. 

The copper shine of your chestnut highlights almost forming a crown around your head. 

"Have you ever seen me in your life?” 

Your eyebrows furrowed, lips still painted into a frown. 

"Because everywhere I go, I see you. In the blue ocean that matches your eyes. Whenever I drive by Francisco’s, I taste the raspberry-pistachio gelato you love. I can barely drive by your campus without thinking of how smart and talented you are. When I go to the grocery store, all I think about is how I want you there with me… to pick out what we want for dinner, to argue about what kind of bread to bring home together…How’d you be able to explain what each chemical on the food label would do and how you would do your ecstatic hand movements you always do when you explain things you love. Every time, I see a woman smile or laugh, I can’t help but think… smiling and laughter look so much better on you. I can barely listen to Fanboy talk about Star Wars without thinking about how much you love the originals more than the prequels. Every time I so much as walk into my closet, you’re there. And… I should have been more honest with you. About everything." 

He took a breath, licking his bottom lip. 

"That night I came to pick you up for the retirement ball…you looked like the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. And when we went to Pleasure of the 3rd Kind? I told Myrtle that we had been together a year. I always told myself it was for the discount, but I never gave a shit about the discount. I just wanted to be with you."

You could feel your lungs constrict at the words passing his lips, paralyzing you in place.  

"And that day you asked why you’re my favorite bar maid? It was never because of the booze you give me," he scoffed. "It was always because of the way you looked at me, and how much I craved being with you… I defended you at the ball because you deserved to be defended, you’re too beautiful, kind and strong to be treated that way by anyone. And when you took care of me and made me beef stew when I was sick? That made me realize how deep I was in with you.”

He took a pause to swallow and gather his rampant thoughts.

“And, I know your mental health and weight have made you think that you’re hard to love. But the thing is… you were never hard to love and those qualities never deterred me from loving you."

He watched your glassy eyes as he licked his bottom lip.

"Falling in love with you was as easy as kissing you and falling asleep next to you. Hell, it was easier than breathing, easier than telling my heart to beat."

Tears streamed down your face as his pleading eyes continued to bore into yours.

“I should never have done what I did to you and, if you’ll let me, I’ll spend however long it takes trying to make it right, even if it takes me the rest of my life to do so. But I can’t leave you again.”

His voice shaky and thick, “I can’t. I love you too much to let you go again.”

A hitched breath passed your lips as your bottom lip quivered. 

Your voice matched his in lack of stability, “you love me?”

Jake nodded, keeping his glossy gaze on you. Both hands now cradling one of your own. 

“I do, Caledonia…I’m so sorry that I was too stupid to see it sooner. I understand if you don’t feel the same given…everything…but you deserved the honesty and an apology.”

You took a shaky breath, fluttering your tear soaked eye lashes, diverting your eyes to the cracks in the asphalt, your soul feeling like a whirlpool in the core of your chest.

"I see you too. Everywhere I go. When I serve Corona’s and whiskey neats…hear that stupid Berlin song at Penny’s,” a small, brief smile that didn’t fully reach your eyes, “when I put a damn bra on every morning… grade the freshman’s organic chem tests, play fucking cards with Amelia, make my family’s beef stew,” You sniffled, wiping away tears that were less saturated with malice and rage. 

“As much as I hated what you did, I couldn’t stop thinking about you and the… things we did together. It always felt like more than it was and I ignored it. Didn’t bring it up because I didn’t want to ruin what semblance we had of being something more than just… whatever it was we were.” 

Jake could feel tears running down his face, he wiped them away, feeling a smile start to blossom. 

“We were so stupid.” Your tear strained voice crackled against his ears. 

“No, No you’re not. You never were. I’m the one who was a complete fool and let you go. I was a coward, and I shouldn’t have run away from you.” 

You bit the inside of your lip lightly as Jake’s eyes pleaded with your own.

Your lip quivered, blinking away tears.

He watched on, eyes never leaving yours as you carefully stepped towards him, silently encouraging him to rise up. 

“Caledonia-

You smashed your lips against his, cradling your hands along his jaw and the back of his neck. Jake almost stumbled backward before gaining his bearings. 

The lack of touch from the other ignited a raging fire inside your souls that was only enouraged by the other. 

A new found established love taking hold. 

You separated with a soft gasp.

“I love you too, Jake,”

A bright, boyish, tear filled grin took over his face, eyes bright with reinvigorated life. 

You loved him. 

And he loved you.

He was given a last chance, and he would be damned if he was going to waste it.

His lips melded with yours as he gently guided your back onto the hood of your car. 

"God, I missed you so much. I'm never letting you go again." 

His desperate, mumbled words made your heart skip a beat. 

“I missed you too, promise me you won’t do something this rash and stupid again without talking to me first.” You mumbled against his lips. 

He nodded as if in a love-drenched haze. The only thing he could focus on was the feeling of you with him again. How your soft lips melded so easily with his own. 

He gently pulled way, letting his nose bump yours with a grin. A small giggle passed your lips as tears stained your cheeks. 

"Now we're even." His hushed tone made you smile. 

A bright grin took over your features as you gently scratched at the hair at the base of his skull. 

"We should go inside,” his whispered tone made you shiver.

You nodded, cerulean, teary eyes on his gleaming, jade ones, “I need you, Jake. I love you.”

His thumb caressed your cheek as tears of joy fled down your soft skin. 

“I love you too, sweetheart,” You smiled at the soft kiss he placed to your lips. 

He hastily guided you on unsteady legs towards the door of the Hard Deck, littering kisses along your neck and face as you searched for the right key. 

You huffed in frustration as he made the task infinitely more difficult. 

He smirked into the flesh of your neck, squeezing your waist as you turned the lock with a click. 

As soon as you both were inside with the door locked behind you, his lips were back on yours.

He couldn’t get enough of your taste, having spent far too much time away from it to be able to have it taken away from him again. 

A squeal left your lips as Jake grabbed the back of your thighs, wrapping them around his hips and stumbly traversing the bar illuminated only by the ethereal glow of the jukebox, red tinged light of the exit signs, and dull city lights across the bay. 

“Jake, slow down, I'm not going anywhere,” you softly said against his lips. 

He stopped his movements, letting your breaths mingle together as he pulled away. 

Your glossy eyes met his own. 

The thrumming of your heart resonating in your ears. 

"You mean that?" 

You swallowed at his heavy, whispered tone, nodding. 

Jake gently brought his lips back onto your own, letting your soft flesh meld with your own, his tongue entwining with your own. 

A whimper passed your lips as he let you down onto the soft felt of the pool table. 

"God, I love all the sounds you make." 

He whispered tenderly, his eyes full of love and warmth. 

“Sound so fucking beautiful,” he groaned as he stripped your shirt off between heat-filled kisses. 

Kisses filled with teeth and tongue, an act to get as humanly possible in the moment. 

He took a pause to admire your bra-clad breasts, his gleaming eyes meeting yours in silent permission in the distant city lights off the water. 

You nodded feverishly. His nimble fingers undoing your lacy, navy blue bra. 

His lip quirked at the sight, feeling at the lacy material.

He missed you and your navy blue. 

The sight of your bare mounds against the dim light made his cock stir, his calloused hands came up to tenderly feel at your peaks, letting them harden against the calloused pads of his fingers. 

A soft heavenly noise left your lips at the contact; a mewl. 

He never knew he could miss a sound so much. 

His tongue came down to caress your flesh, littering open mouthed kisses along your neck, sucking bruises along your throat down to your breasts.

You keened, arching your chest into him as he took a peak into his mouth, gently sucking and biting at the sensitive nerves. His hands grasped at your hips, working at unzipping your jeans. Your nails dug into his cotton-clad shoulders spurring him on, sliding your jeans down your soft, beautiful thighs to the hardwood floor. 

His breath caught in his throat at the sight of you bare except for the navy blue lace panties.

“You’re so beautiful, too good for me, Lass.”

Your heart warmed, a blush taking over as you preened against the soft felt of the pool table. 

You watched as he stripped himself of his shirt and pants, feeling your throat dry at the sight and core clench. 

Your words died on your lips as he gently leaned down and placed a full-hearted kiss against your lips, as if you were his only supply of oxygen. 

Your nails scratched against his abs to his pecs to the back of his neck, relishing in each groan that passed his lips.

“Jesus, sweetheart, I love when you feel me up, touch me.”

You giggled against his lips, “I love feeling you,” you reached down for his hardened bare cock that was settled at the edge of the table and between your thighs, “and kissing you.”

“Mhm, I missed that too. But I missed one thing almost as much. “

He gently retracted from your touch and settled on his knees. 

You could barely meet his eyes over your lounged form, settling your body on your elbows observing as Jake kneaded your thighs, stomach and breasts, brushing his thumbs along your nipples. 

A soft sigh passed his lips, as his dilated pupiled eyes took in each inch of exposed flesh. 

“I miss tasting you, feeling you cum against my tongue, miss hearing all the pretty noises you make for me… have always made for me.”

You shuddered as you kept your eyes on him as he gently ran his nose along the crease between your flushed, soaked folds, taking in a deep, full chested inhale. 

He could feel his cock throb at your smell.

“So sweet, Lass, always so sweet n' pretty,” he gently ran his forefinger along your flushed folds, separating them to see your engorged clit. 

“Fuck, you’re so good for me.”

A yelp left your throat as he licked a broad, perfect stroke up your cunt, quickly covering your mouth with your hand. 

"Oh, Jake, you don't have to do that. It's a little overgrown down th-," you whispered.

"Baby, I don't mind…I have a lot of time to make up for. God, I missed your gorgeous pussy and beautiful ass," he growled, making you shudder as he kneaded the flesh of your backside.

He sighed as he took another broad lick up your cunt.

"You're so fucking sweet… don't know how I lasted so long without your taste." 

Your face reddened by the second as he kept his dark, rainforest green eyes on yours. Your nails dug into the back of his head, keeping him in place as he continued to savor each drop of essence from your flushed folds that rivaled that of ripe peaches. 

He smiled around his extended tongue as your hips bucked involuntarily, letting your gently rub your hips against him. 

His hands squeezed at your hips to keep you steady as he sucked at your clit. 

“Oh, fuck,” you gasped, letting your body lay back onto the table. 

Your body was just as responsive, if not more, than the last time he had you. 

“God I love it when you ride my tongue, always been such a good girl.” 

You whimpered as he returned to your sopping cunt. 

Your eyes rolled back as the sensations flooded your brain, reaching out for anything to grip and hold. 

Jake’s hands reached for your own, intertwining with them.

I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.

He placed his strong forearms over your tummy, keeping your hands and lower body still to his ministrations. 

“Oh, fuck, please don’t stop, baby,” you cried out into the empty bar as he gave your clit a harsh suck, letting it go with a soft pop. 

He loved watching you from here, taking each stroke of pleasure he could give you. 

Jake took his hand from one of your own, letting it run along your flushed entrance, before gently settling at your hole. 

You moaned as he put two of his fingers inside you, stroking that piece of salvation imbedded with-in your velvet walls. 

“Jake, please,” your manicured nails dug into his scalp to keep him in place, trying to find enough strength to rub your eager cunt against his welcoming mouth. 

But his hold on you was too strong, he had you open and ready for whatever he wanted to give you. 

He could feel your moans and mewls resonate through your body, your thighs twitching and your walls choking his fingers. 

“Come on baby, just a little more for me,” he growled against your cunt. 

The squelching and feel of your cunt made it hard to think straight as he helped push you over the edge. 

“Fuck, please don’t stop,” you wantonly mewled, “I’m so close.” 

He rubbed that special spot inside you with more vigor, needing to bring you to your release. 

He paid attention to your clit, lapping and sucking at it diligently, chasing each whine that spilled from your throat that told you you were close. 

“Fuck, baby, Jake, sweetheart, please more.” 

You couldn't help your thighs from shaking in his iron grasp as he consumed your cunt like it was his last meal on earth. 

With that he gave one last, perfect suck at your clit, making your eyes clench shut and tremors flood your body. 

Whines and moans spilled from your throat as you came down from your high, the man between your legs continuing his onslaught, cleaning up every last drop of your essence as you whimpered and mewled. 

He gave one last soft, broad lick up your core before placing a soft kiss to your still sensitive clit. 

A soft sigh of amazement passed his lips, his eyes staying on your own. 

You softly caught your breath, letting your eyes meet his. 

"I-is something wrong?" 

He scoffed, shaking his head. 

"Nothing in the slightest, Caledonia. I just… really missed watching you cum…Such a good girl… so fucking pretty when you cum, could eat your pretty, little pussy all day.”

A bashful smile broke out across your lips, matching his, as his sweet, sinful, soft, desperate voice met your ears. 

"Can't wait to feel you around my dick, Lass."

You bit your lip, admiring him as he rose up, running his broad hands along your thighs and stomach. 

His eyes met yours in a silent question

“Penny has birth control," your wispy voice made him smile.

“I just need to feel you,” you whimpered, rising up on your elbows, giving him those same innocent, sweet eyes like he didn’t just consume your cunt like it was his last meal. 

His breathing was heavy, letting his cock nudge at your entrance. His eyes meeting yours, silently asking. 

You nodded feverishly.

He kept his loving gaze on you, leaning in to meet your lips, swallowing each sigh and whine as he pushed his thick cock into your molten cunt. 

“Shh, it’s ok Caledonia, doing such a good job for me, being such a good girl.”

Jesus, you felt just as tight as the first night he had you, he thought. 

He littered kisses along your neck and back to your lips as he let you adjust to his dick. 

“Fuck, you always feel so perfect,” he groaned against your lips. 

You whimpered, “I love feeling you inside me, how thick you are. Please move Jake, I need you to move,” you pleaded with teary eyes. 

Who was he to deny you?

He smiled, placing a soft kiss to your plush lips. 

He rose up to his full height, “God, you're so fucking gorgeous.” 

His words made you clench around his cock and feel a wave of desperation you only felt for Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin. 

He looked down to where he was connected to you, letting his thumb rub tight circles onto your clit as he gently thrusted into your cunt. 

His eyes clenched shut as he savored the exquisite feeling of your velvet walls choking his weeping member. 

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned, wrapping your legs around his waist and leaning down.

Chest to chest.

Heartbeat to heartbeat. 

His glassy eyes stayed on your own, and your blushing cheeks and beautiful parted lips. 

A sharp whine left your throat as he nailed that perfect spot inside you. 

The slapping of skin that came with his maintenance of tempo filled the Hard Deck with an erotic ambiance paired with your sweet moans and the squelching of your cunt. 

“Jake, please,”

A whine left your throat as his hips moved more diligently, his head laying at the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent and softly biting at the flesh. 

“Oh, fuck, please, you feel so good, right there!” 

He put all of his weight into each thrust into your cunt, hitting that same little spot inside you over and over again. 

"God, I love you so much, you and your perfect little pussy,” he groaned out, feeling the rubber band in his core stretch. 

Your lips parted as a silent scream passed through your lips, incognitable noises spewing from your perfect lips stroking his cock and stoking the flames of his love for you. 

Tears welled in your eyes as the intensity of your orgasm paired with his words made your heart skip a beat.

You gasped for breath as his lips met yours, swallowing each overstimulated whine he pulled out of you as he continued to savor each flutter of your silken walls. 

He hissed as your nails scratched and clutched at him as he found his release with a deep groan, pulsing his essence into your welcoming cunt. 

"I love you too, Jake" you hoarsely whispered. 

But it was still soft and sweet as honey. 

Jake lifted his head from the crease of your neck, his glassy eyes meeting yours. 

A genuine grin consumed his features as he caught his breath.

He leaned in, letting his nose rub against yours, his smile widening as your giggle met his ears.  

“I love you so much,” he whispered, eyes full of love. 

Your breath hitched. You could still feel his cock inside, leaking his seed into you. 

“I love you too, Jake, so much,”

He let out a soft sigh as if a weight was removed from his chest. He brought his lips back to yours as he gently pulled out, swallowing your soft sigh. 

You could only focus on his mouth on yours, his soft touch, the way his natural smell brought you so much peace and comfort. 

“You know, I always wanted to do the dirty with you on this table. Thought about it everytime I saw you serving drinks over here.”  

You clenched around his length, “Me too,” you whispered against his lips. 

His cock twitched in a mixture of both of your releases in your still dripping cunt. 

“Really?” he purred, “the thought of ruining this table and having all our friends play pool with it tomorrow night get you hot and bothered, sweetheart?”

You nodded, not trusting your voice. 

He chuckled darkly, “I thought so sweets, can feel you squeezin’ me so tight at the thought… such a needy, little Lass.” 

“I’m not needy, Jake, you’re the one that came back to me, remember?” 

His smile widened, a chuckle passing his lips.  

“Maybe I’m just as needy as you are sweetheart, nothing wrong with being needy, especially when we’re both here. I love taking care of you, Caledonia.”

He gave you a sultry grin, before bringing his lips to yours, letting your kiss him in a soft but strong kiss, like waves licking along the sides of an adrift row boat causing it to rock.

He gently pulled out, much to your protest, and gently turned you around on the pool table. 

You sighed softly, brain still fuzzy from your previous high. 

Jake covered your body as he gently thrusted into your molten core, a soft moan leaving your throat. His head nestled in the crook of your neck and hands placed on each side you, intertwining your fingers together along the felt of the table. 

Each sigh from his lips caressed the soft flesh of your neck, as he savored each inch of your body with his hands and cock. 

His gentle thrusts hit your senses like lightning to a rod of copper. 

You let your eye lids drop close, focusing on the soft, comforting feeling of him around you and his steady thrusting into your weeping pussy. 

Mewls and moans left your lips as he softly bit and nipped at your tender flesh, taking your earlobe between his teeth as he continued to pummel your cunt at a faster pace. 

Your body shivered at the growl that left his throat as he gave a particularly deep thrust right into that perfect, little spot that made you putty in his hands. 

"You gonna cum, sweetheart?" 

His gravelly, exertion ridden tone made your core clench around his dick. 

You could only mewl and nod pathetically, feeling him smile into your neck.

He gently guided your head to face him as he littered kisses along your neck, sucking pretty magenta hued blotches onto your soft skin. 

"Look at me, honey," you let your glassy eyes flutter open as he split you with his cock with each diligent thrust. 

"God, you're so fucking beautiful, I love taking you apart like this."

He gently squeezed the base of your throat, keeping your head towards him. 

His lips smashed against yours, swallowing each sigh and cry that threatened to leave your lips as you felt the coil in your belly tighten impossibly so. 

He groaned as he felt you twitch against him and around his thick cock, your nails digging into the back of his head in a delicious friction that made his spine tingle. 

You whined as his lips left yours, his forehead leaning against your own as he put his entire lower body into each perfect thrust.

You whimpered ahsinst his lips as a deep, gut-punch groan rattled against your neck and senses, feeling his release paint your walls. 

He swallowed each one of your whimpers and moans as he gently thrusted into your heat, feeling his engorged member become more sensitive. 

He caught his breath, letting his eyes clench shut as he savored the feeling of your walls holding him like a vice. 

He littered kisses along your shoulder, neck and cheek, bringing your lips back to his, relishing in each giggle that passed your lips. 

“I mean’t what I said. I can’t leave you again and I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you.”

You blushed at his desperate, sleep gravelled tone, turning to face him in the soft light, “I think you’re off to an excellent start, cowboy,” you whispered, letting out a soft giggle like his dick wasn’t still spent inside you. 

“I’ll be on my hands and knees for you, baby,”  he nuzzled his head into your neck and stole a kiss from you. 

“Mhm, that does sound appealing. She missed you down there, ya know…”

 You bit back a smile, feeling him laugh into the back of your shoulder. 

“I’ll be sure to explain my absence to your pretty, little friend down there,” he gently rubbed at your clit, “Let’s get back to my place.”

You turned to face him, eyes warm but tired. 

“I want to stay here for a bit, just to feel you. I missed you… a lot” 

He nodded, placing a kiss to your shoulder, “As you wish, Caledonia.” 

His hushed tone made you smile. You relished in the tender feel of his hands intertwined with your own, his plush lips, and soft, warm skin encompassing yours as the dim city lights across the bay and the warm glow of Penny’s beloved jukebox illuminated his love-filled embrace. 

Taglist: 

@marvel-hotchner @nemesis729 @a-lil-bit-nuts@justagirllivinginaghibliworld @mizzzpink @themusingofagothicsoul @mayhemmanaged @sebsxphia @potato-girl99981  @a-beaverhausen @withahappyrefrain @hangmans-wingman  @callmemana @joalslibrary @peachiicherries @whiskeyswriting @entertainmentgal8 @jkbindigo11 @princess76179 @clancycucumber230@teacupsandtopgun@chaoticassidy @superskittles @cherrycola27 @cheekymcgrath @h-ngm-ns @emma8895eb @djs8891 @novastories @urmom-999 @taytaylala12 @zombicupcake3 @catsficrecs @abaker74 @kmc1989 @hangmanshoney @caidi-paris @i-wanna-be-your-muse @shara-ne @memeorydotcom @memoriesat30@shanimallina87 @whoeverineedtobe

[cockslutpadalecki]

All For You

Summary: You’ll never be able to tell Jake just how broken you truly are without him. Just how much you still love him. And the constant cycle of pushing him away before begging for his touch at 2am will never end until you can.

Characters: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x F!Reader.

Words: 2.4K.

Warnings: heavy angst, smangst, lots of sexual tension, explicit sexual content, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), 18+. MINORS DNI.

A/N: Only six months late to the Jake bandwagon, but here we are. Based off song of the same name by Cian Ducrot Ft. Ella Henderson (definitely worth giving it a listen). Jake’s POV is in first person. Beta: @princessmisery666 but all the general bullshit is entirely mine. While likes are gold, feedback is golden. Please support our content creators by sharing our work.

You know it’s a mistake the moment he picks up. His familiar deep husk that’s indicative of waking from a deep sleep. It stirs something inside you that you haven’t felt in so long that you almost hang up without a word.

“Hello?” he repeats drowsily, frustration already heavy in his tone.

“Jake,” you finally respond and you swear you can hear the breath catch in his throat.

“Hey.” The word is only three innocuous letters but it hurts as if it’s a breakup speech and you regret being so hasty to call. There’s a brief silence broken by the muffled sound of him grunting, and you know from memory he’s stretching across his bed to glance at the clock.

You swallow deeply, trying to block out the mental images of those taut abs tensing and contracting. Rippling as he fucks you long and hard in missionary—

“Y’know it’s 2am, right?” His voice interrupts your thoughts.

You know what time it is without needing to look at a clock. Like when your body is so in tune to waking up at the same time every morning, yours is programmed to reach out to Jake at 2am.

“Mhm.”

He sighs softly. “What’s happened?”

You don’t expect the question even though he always asks. Oh how you wish he’d get angry and hang up. It would certainly make these exchanges easier to deal with, but he never does.

I felt a moment of you in him.

You can’t tell Jake you missed his voice. Missed him. You’re too afraid to tell him anything.

“It’s not important,” you brush off, quickly changing the subject, “so, how you been?”

Jake coughs, clearing his throat. “Are you drunk again?”

“No,” you say, but the wine on your breath tells a different story. In reality, you’ve been drinking since you got home an hour ago, cutting short your date with Ben by feigning a stomachache. You did— do— feel sick, your gut twisting and turning as you try your best to wash down the memory of Jake on your skin, but it has done nothing except exacerbate your thoughts.

“You always were a bad liar,” he chuckles softly and the sound splits you down the middle before his tone changes. “Look, you should get some sleep. I’ll call when you’ve sobered up.”

“I can’t talk to you when I’m sober.”

“Why not?”

Because I’ll say all the things I should’ve said a year ago.

“This was a bad idea,” you backtrack hurriedly.

“D’you need me to come over?”

You shake your head vigorously, momentarily forgetting he can’t see you before you manage to choke out a solitary, “No.”

You can’t have him in your apartment. The last time it happened, all of the hard work you did to move on unraveled like a spool of thread in a matter of heated seconds.

As soon as he stepped inside, Jake was on you. Lips covering yours, hands in your hair— on the fastenings of your clothes as he rushed to free you from them. You mirrored his actions, tearing into his jeans as you kissed away the taste of bourbon from his tongue. He moaned into your mouth, a blissed out version of your name that you swear in the moment you’d have memorised for life. You stepped out of your yoga pants and jumped into Jake’s arms, wrapping your legs around his waist.

His cock was hot and wet as it notched at your entrance, teasing your pussy lips apart before he slid his way home—

“Hey, you still there?” Jake sounds panicked.

Your voice is thick as you reply, “‘m here.”

“Just say the word.”

No. No. No.

But that’s not the word that ends up slipping out.

-

I know I shouldn’t have offered. Yet I find myself bolting out of bed the second she whispers, “yes,” despite the reluctance in her tone that doesn’t fool me for a second. The entire ride over to her apartment, I can feel the deep tremble in my bones, the anticipation of seeing her again setting me on edge. And when I pull up in the parking lot, it takes all of my strength to drag myself from the car.

From the outside, I look like I have my shit together. A line of women queue up around the block to spend the night with me, and while I might indulge a couple when I’ve stumbled home from a bar, nobody can come close to her.

It’s simple. I didn’t do enough. I should’ve tried harder. I should’ve fought for what we had. But I had my chance and I lost it. She’s moved on, yet there’s a still part of me that can’t help but grasp at these lifelines— these little glimmers of the good times, and hope that maybe we can figure out a way to make it work.

It never goes any further than a quick hook up in the dead of night. And while I still want— need— her in every capacity, those moments hold me together like loose stitches, just waiting until they break apart and dissolve.

Apprehension takes hold as I step up to the door, lifting my fist high in preparation to knock. I hesitate for a moment, heart thudding against my rib cage. I could turn and walk away now, let us both move on like we should do, instead of suffocating beneath feelings I can’t verbalise. But as I fly blind into a cloud of denial, I always accept the lifeline she throws me, and I hold onto it like it’s saving me from plummeting to the ground from 30,000ft.

I knock and wait for her footsteps. When I finally hear them, my breath stalls in my throat.

-

You pause at the door, hand grasped loosely around the handle as you try to summon up the courage to open it. After all the time you’ve spent trying to create a void between you, it seems equally pointless as it is gut wrenching that he’s merely only a door’s width away from you now.

Eventually you suck in a deep breath and pull it open, feeling like your heart is on pause inside your chest as you wait for your eyes to land on Jake, like you expect the time and distance spent apart to have altered his appearance into something ghastly and hideous.

He hasn’t changed from the memory your mind has preserved, and that notion alone has enough weight behind it to make your whole body ache. Your gaze finally meets his and you stand there frozen, still remembering the way his touch felt against your skin the last time you stood in this very spot.

I never should’ve said yes.

Jake hovers in the doorway as if he’s waiting for your permission, and you hesitate in giving it to him before slowly moving out of his way to let him pass. He crosses the threshold in silence, sliding past you as his hypnotizing aftershave follows behind. Just the slightest inhale of it is enough to send you spiraling.

He turns to face you, brows furrowed in concern. “I can go.”

You shrug your shoulders in an attempt to act aloof. “If that’s what you want?”

“I wouldn’t have come if it was.”

Please don’t say that. Instead what comes out is, “I shouldn’t have called you.”

“Then why did you?”

“I don’t know, okay?” you rush out a little sharply, using the sudden burst of ire to slam the door shut. “What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know,” he says, “how about the truth?”

You stare each other down for a moment before you storm past him, only making it as far as the kitchen until Jake is reaching for you. With his hand around your bicep, he spins you around to face him.

You pull your arm free of his grip and hiss, “Don’t touch me.”

He looks hurt. “Why?”

“If you start, I won’t want you to stop,” you break down, virgin tears threatening to spill down your cheeks.

Jake regards you like you’re the most fragile thing on earth with clear hurt in his eyes and you feel your heart crumpling at the sight. Quickly, he closes the gap between you and you put your hand up to his chest to stop him, but it falters the minute your fingers skim over the material of his t-shirt, and the hard steel of his chest beneath. You begin to pull away, but Jake grabs your hand before you have a chance.

His skin is hot on yours despite the cold outside and it sets your entire body alight.

“What if I don’t want you to stop me?” he whispers, his spare hand sliding around the nape of your neck to pull you against him.

“Then we’re on the same page,” you breath out before pressing your lips roughly to Jake’s.

The kiss is hasty and messy. All tongue and heated moans between frenetic scrambling to free yourself of enough clothes to get to what you want. Jake tugs at your skirt, lifting it higher and higher until it sits bunched around your waist, just as you reach into his jeans to pull out his cock.

With a husky grunt, he turns you around, forcing you over the edge of the counter. You both frantically tug down your underwear, allowing him enough access to your cunt to slide himself inside you.

There’s a sudden bout of silence between you— like a second to reflect that you shouldn’t be doing this and stop, but neither of you do. Jake tenderly kisses your shoulder, and you turn your head to capture his lips within yours once more. Slowly, he starts to rock back and forth, pulling out with sloppy wet sucks as he retreats and brings back with him deep, thick moans when he fills you back up.

You lift your arm, wrapping it around the back of Jake’s head to keep him close, not wanting to be given the chance to speak for fear of coming to your senses. It’s better this way— losing yourselves in the moment rather than blaming each other for how your relationship failed. Yet stray words still manage to slip free— hushed expletives and blasphemous grunts, amidst praising moans telling one another how good it feels.

Jake knows your body as if it were his own. Fucking you like he never left. And when you come, you wish he never had.

-

The early morning sun prickles against your naked back, warming your skin until it wakes you. Sleepily, you stretch out, fingertips meeting cold sheets. For a minute it feels like any other morning, until you remember…

Jake.

You sit up fast, grabbing the t-shirt you normally sleep in and roughly pull it over your head before rushing out of bed. The pile of his clothes you had both thrown onto the floor in a fervoured frenzy are long gone. The sheets where he slept are smooth. There’s no trace that he was ever even here.

Except between your legs.

Your heart drops as your body sags, the ache in your chest like a gaping wound, ripped open and raw. You feel so stupid, so gullible. How could you be so blind? And even though you were the one to call— knowing it would end up like this, you’re still somehow surprised that things haven’t changed.

Ben crosses your mind for the first time since last night and remorse hits you like a ten tonne truck. It doesn’t matter that you’ve only been seeing him for the past two months or so— you aren’t even necessarily exclusive— it’s still a betrayal of trust. One you won’t be able to earn back.

Tears ravage your body, huge sobs that echo around the room like a haunting symphony. You fall back onto your bed, curling up into a ball as you hold a hand to your chest in an attempt to keep your heart from bleeding through it. It takes everything in you to remember how to breathe through your cries, the anguish stealing away all cohesive thought as misery consumes you.

You don’t hear the footsteps outside your room, or the creak of the door opening. You don’t realise Jake is standing next to you until he appears in your tear-streaked periphery, looking terrified.

He places something on your nightstand before rushing to his knees beside you, reaching out to stroke your forehead. “What the hell happened? Are you okay?”

“Thought… you… left,” you manage to choke out through a fresh wave of tears.

“I just went to get us breakfast.” He glances at your nightstand and you follow his gaze— two coffee cups along with a brown paper bag sit there innocently.

You want to cry all over again, but for an entirely new set of reasons. Embarrassment blooms beneath your skin— white hot shame at allowing Jake to see you. The real you. The one buried beneath your grief.

Pushing yourself up, you keep your head down, not wanting to make eye contact. You chide and vilify yourself internally, wishing you could take back the last twelve hours.

“Did you really think I’d leave without saying goodbye?”

With a sniff, you mutter, “You’ve done it before.”

Jake scoffs. “Only because you force me too.”

Now you look up, staring him down through wet eyelashes and the elysium— the brief period of jubilation in his company all but melts away. He’s right and it stings. You create this shield— this barrier so he can’t do it to you first.

You clam up like every other time before— the words on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t seem to vocalise them and the constant lie you tell yourself finally becomes apparent.

It doesn’t matter if you’re sober or not, you’ll never be able to tell Jake just how broken you truly are without him. Just how much you still love him. And the constant cycle of pushing him away before begging for his touch at 2am will never end until you can.

“I never want to leave,” Jake confesses, “but you push and push until I believe that leaving is what you really want. If it’s not,” he takes the deepest of breaths, eyes pleading, but his jaw is set tight as if he’s expecting a blow to the face, “if you want me to stay, if you want me, I need to hear it.”

You feel the solitary word in your throat. Can sense it teasing along the seam of your lips until it spills over like blood seeping from a wound. “Stay.”

***

4EVS: @amirra88 @andreasworlsboring101 @b3autyfuldisast3r @cheesyclaire @chibijusstuff @callsignrambam @dangertoozmanykids101 @daughterofthenight117 @doozywoozy @foxyjwls007 @geekofmanyforms @heyyouwiththeassbutt @i-opened-the-chamber-of-secrets​ @ilovefanfic86 @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay @letsby @letsdisneythings @labella420 @mogaruke @maliburenee @notyourtypicalrose @nik2writes @obsessivelycapricious @patrick-hockslutter @princessmisery666 @phildunphyisadilf @roxyfan14-blog @sage-writing @sea040561 @sweeterthanthis @slutformarvelmen @simpformarvelmenandwoman @smokeandnailz @stoneyggirl @stoneyggirl2 @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @thegirlnextdoorssister @unfortunate-brat @wayward-dreamer​ @warriorqueen1991​ @xoxabs88xox​

[gennyanydots]

Preschool Family Day

Future Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x f!reader

Part of the ‘Spitfire Universe’ unnecessary to read beforehand but helpful.

“Unca Wooster!” Bradley hears a little voice call with little feets smacking the ground as he runs towards his uncle. The day that little boy can say ‘R’s’ and ‘L’s’ properly is going to be a very, very sad day for Bradley. He wants to be ‘Unca Wooster’ forever. More than he’s wanted anything in a long while. Sure the dagger squad formed a little family after the mission but this little boy is the reason Bradley really felt like it was a true honest to God family. Being an only child and an orphan made family a sore subject for Bradley for a long time but not anymore, not when there was a tiny 3 year old who thought the world of him. Bradley’s sure he can convince Eli’s 8 month old sister Ella that he’s her favorite uncle too one day.

As soon as Eli was within arms reach Bradley was grabbing him securely around the waist and swinging him around, he was the fun uncle after all. He swung little Eli in a circle before throwing him over his right shoulder and walking in the direction Eli had just come from. Very unlikely that Eli is without at least one parent.

It doesn’t take more than ten steps for a stroller and two adults who vaguely look like Eli to come into view and Bradley grins. “You guys missing a kiddo? I think I found one but I can’t remember where I put it,” he says before pretending to look around on the floor and in his pockets.

“I’m wight he,” Eli says in between giggles as he wiggles atop Bradley’s broad shoulder.

“Did you guys hear something?” Bradley asks while looking around again which makes Eli’s mom laugh.

“Naw, we’re pretty sure we only have the baby,” Eli’s father, Jake, says with a chuckle.

“Daaaaaaaad!” Eli yells and continues to wiggle while he laughs.

“Oh!” Bradley says and pulls Eli off his shoulder and holds him out in front of him as if inspecting him then turns him around to face Jake. “Here it is. Are you sure it’s not yours? It looks an awful lot like you, Hangman. If not though then I’m sure I can find a circus to sell him to.”

Jake laughs and walks over and pokes at Eli’s belly who gives an answering giggle, “I don’t know. He looks familiar but I’m just not sure.”

Eli wiggles and puts his arms out towards his dad, “Daddy you know me! I’m Ewi!”

“Ohhhhhhh,” Jake says and grabs Eli from Bradley’s hands. “That’s Eli. I know him.”

Eli laughs shaking his head at his dad, “You so siwwy daddy.”

Jake nods and sets his son onto his feet, “Learned it from the best, bud.”

Bradley grins and winks at the little boy, “He’s talking about me.”

Eli laughs, “O’ couse he is. You the siwwiest, Wooster.”

Bradley grins at Eli, “Someone has to be.”

“Eli has a question for you, Bradley,” Jake’s wife says to him. Bradley’s excited. He’s not sure what it could be but anything to do with his nephew he’s down for. Hell if the boy needed a kidney then Bradley would happily head down to the hospital right now, he’s got two for a reason.

“Umm Unca Wooster I was wonda’en if you coud come to my school on Fwiday,” Eli says while looking down slightly bashfully.

“Of course, dude! Tell me a time and I’ll be there. Why am I coming to your school?” Bradley asks while kneeling down on one knee in front of Eli to be eye level with him.

“It’s family day at preschool and any ‘special adult in your child’s life’ is invited. Since there are different types of families they do special adult instead of mom or dad,” Jake explains. “But that’s the day I have that big meeting. And baby Ella has a doctors appointment so we need a stand in adult and we asked Eli who he wanted-”

“And I said you, Wooster!” Eli finishes for his father, yelling excitedly.

Bradley grins, “I’m happy to be your special adult, buddy. As silly as I feel saying that.”

Jake laughs, “Oh believe me I’m right there with ya but I get it. Not everyone has parents or some have two moms or two dads. We read lots of books about all sorts of families don’t we, bud?”

Eli nods, “Sometimes other kids just have they gandma or gandpa and dats otay too! Cause they loved just the same.”

That’s exactly right, bud,” Bradley says and ruffles Eli’s hair as he stands up.

“Do I need to bring anything or do anything?” Bradley asks looking towards Eli’s mom. If anyone had those sorts of answers it would be Jake’s wife.

She smiles at him and shrugs, “Nope, the paper says there will be refreshments and things and then I think they’re singing a cute little song or something, which you need to record for me please, and then it’s just like hanging out. If you don’t have to come back to work or anything you’re welcome to pick Eli up then and you can have one of your Eli and Rooster days but that’s up to you. You’re on the pickup list so should be fine.” She shakes her head, “His poor teacher. Eli’s pickup list is probably the longest of anyone at the school. And on top of that I put everyone’s call signs next to their names so the teacher doesn’t get confused as to why a ‘Bradley’ or ‘Natasha’ is on the paper but Eli is saying ‘Wooster’ or ‘Phoenix’.” Eli had a lot of aunts and uncles in the dagger squad. Even adopted himself a Grandma Penny and a Grandpa Mav since his only other set of grandparents live in Texas, much to Mav’s happiness. Mav loved being the favorite grandpa. Only Mav would turn being a grandpa into a competition.

Bradley smiles, “I’m sure being this close to Top Gun he’s not the only kiddo who calls his aunts and uncles by their call signs and I’m sure he won’t be the last but he is probably the one with the most adults in his life. Other squads aren’t as cool as we are and didn’t insert themselves in each other’s lives. Plus you guys were the first ones to have kids so they have everyone’s undivided attention.”

“Just means they’re spoiled rotten,” Jake’s wife says with a laugh which causes Jake to roll his eyes.

“Oh yeah because they definitely wouldn’t be spoiled without them. They definitely don’t have a pushover for a mom,” Jake says with a laugh.

She glared at Jake, “Says the man who gives in at the slightly whimper any of the kids make. Including the fluffy one.”

Jake shrugs, “You taught both kids your puppy dog eyes. You even taught the dog. You’re just as spoiled.”

Bradley laughs. He loves spending time with this family. The banter always amuses him. “Okay so Friday I’ll be there and then don’t expect to get your kid back for a while.”

“I mean eventually would be nice but whenever is fine,” Jake says with a shrug.

“We’ll see,” Rooster says with a grin.

By Friday Bradley was so excited to be going to Eli’s school. He woke up early and made sure to look his best. He had to go on base for a little while before Mav dismissed him for the day. He quickly changed into a pair of jeans with a white undershirt and a Hawaiian shirt that Eli got him for Christmas. It was one of the brightest shirts he owned and he absolutely loved it.

Bradley got to Eli’s school a little early and headed inside. There was a check in table, for safety reasons he’s sure, and he checked in as Eli’s ‘special adult’ and got a name tag that said “Uncle Rooster” on it with a small ‘Elijah Seresin’ written in the corner so everyone knew who he belonged to. Not that anyone wouldn’t know since when he walked through the door to Eli’s classroom a loud “Unca Wooster!” was heard and a little body ran as fast as it could and threw itself against Bradley’s legs and from that minute on Eli attached himself to his uncle. Bradley didn’t mind one bit. Eli immediately raised his arms and Bradley easily picked him up and set him on his hip. Eli started to point to all the things in the classroom as he made Bradley walk around.

“An dats the piggy!” Eli said pointing to a cage on the floor in the classroom.

“You have a piggy in your room?” Bradley asks walking over to it.

Eli shook his head and wiggles to be let down, which Bradley quickly did then squated down next to the cage. There was a name tag attached to one of the bars that had a name tag on it that Bradley read out loud, “Dr Rooster Cupcake.”

Eli turned to him grinning, “Da Wooster was my idea.”

Bradley chuckles, “I have no doubt about that.”

“We just mostly call him Rooster or Roo,” Bradley hears behind him.

Bradley turns around seeing a smiling woman standing behind him and he quickly stood up.

“Ms. Y/N dis is my Unca Wooster!” Eli said and slipped his little hand into Bradley’s. This must be Eli’s teacher. Damn. If Bradley knew Eli’s teacher was this pretty he would have offered to pick him up more. Or every day. Maybe he’ll start.

Bradley smiles and offers his other hand, “Hi, I’m Bradley, oh oh I mean Uncle Rooster or or Bradley. Whichever is fine. I like both. You can use either or both or whatever,” Bradley says rambling. He’s not usually like this. He knows how to talk to pretty girls. Well he knows how to talk to pretty girls at bars. Apparently he’s not as good at talking to pretty girls in preschools.

You smile and shake his hand, “Hi, Uncle Rooster or Bradley. I’m Ms. Y/N. I’m Eli’s teacher.”

“She’s da best! She let us name da piggy afta you!” Eli says pointing at the cage.

“Piggy?” Bradley questions.

You chuckle , “I’ll show you.” You open up the top of the cage and lifted up a little blue platform and reach in and grab a little brown and white fuzzy body. “This is Rooster.” You say as you stand up and came back over to Bradley and Eli. “He’s a Guinea pig.”

“Ohhhhh a Guinea pig. I thought he meant a real piggy and was scared because that’s not a very big cage for an actual pig,” Bradley says and reaches out to pet the little body but stop just before touching him and look at you, you nod encouragingly and Bradley closes the gap and pets the small animal.

“You’re right it would be too small for a piggy but it’s actually a really large cage for a Guinea pig. Typically there’s a play yard so he has something like 17 square feet to himself in all with the cage and play yard. The kids love to watch him. Every morning he has zoomies where he just runs around his play yard in circles. The kids love it when he does that,” you explain with a giggle.

“Yeah! He wuns and wuns! And sometimes I get ta give him a tweat!” Eli says excitedly. You squat down and let Eli pet the little guy. Bradley smiles proudly watching his nephew carefully pet the small animal. “Fwont ta back wight, Ms. Y/N?”

You smile at Eli, “Exactly right, babe. Front to back or he gets all huffy and we wouldn’t want that would we?”

Bradley smiles watching the two of you. He wonders what it would take to get you to call him babe. Is that weird? It’s probably weird. Bradley doesn’t want to make things weird for Eli.

Soon the Guinea pig gets a little wiggly and you stand up and walk back over to the cage and set him back inside, “Okay Eli what do we do now?”

“We wash hands! No gettin’ sick!” Eli says then runs off to the little sink in the classroom. You follow behind and then help him wash his hands and then you also wash your hands. Bradley follows the two of you and washes his hands third. Bradley looks around the room and more adults seemed to have come in while he was meeting the Guinea pig.

“I have to greet the others but I’ll check in with you guys in a little bit, okay?” You say to Bradley and Eli.

“Otay! Have fun!” Eli says with a smile. Bradley chuckles, “Yeah have fun.”

You scrunch your nose playfully at the two of them and smile before going off to greet the other adults.

Eli pulls Bradley over to a table and has him sit down with him and they both color some pictures, Eli explaining all the different colors to him as he uses them.

You’ve caught Bradley looking at you a couple times, each time he immediately looks down towards his picture and blushes.

Once done with the pictures Eli puts them in his little backpack and Bradley helps.

“There are some snacks and drinks in the hallway if anyone would like. I’m about 15 minutes the kids have a performance they would like to show you,” you call loudly to the room. It’s gotten pretty crowded since Bradley arrived. Every child had at least one adult. Some even had two. Bradley’s pretty sure one kid has whom he assumes is his parents and his grandparents.

Everyone seems to head out into the hallway at once and Bradley sees Eli kind of hesitate.

“Hey why don’t we wait a minute before getting our snack? That’s a lot of people and I don’t feel like fighting some dad for a cookie,” Bradley says to Eli who grins up at him.

Eli takes Bradley’s hand and leads him to a table, “But you would win Unca Wooster. You in da Navy like daddy.”

“You’re right, bud. I would totally win in a fight with all these adults,” Bradley says. He sits down in a tiny chair and Eli scrambles to sit in his lap. Bradley chuckles and helps Eli up.

“You know we definitely don’t condone violence here,” you say to Bradley walking with a stern look on your face and arms crossed over your chest.

“Well I was just saying and he started it and…” Bradley tried to explain before noticing a hint of a smile on your face. “You’re kidding.”

You laugh, “I am. Kinda. We don’t condone violence but I was just teasing. But we don’t use our hands and feet if we’re mad do we, Eli?”

Eli shakes his head, “No, we use wods and we take tuns with toys.”

“That’s exactly right,” you say with a fond smile. “We use our words and we take turns. You’re so smart, Eli.”

Eli grins, “I know. I good. I vewy good.” Bradley laughs while shaking his head and wraps his arms around the little boy. Clearly he’s his father’s son.

You look over at the two and raise an eyebrow, “Is that a thing?”

Bradley nods, “It is. His dad is uhh well he’s a little bit of a cocky pilot. Great guy. Just full of himself.”

You nod, “I’ve met a few of those kind of pilots.”

Bradley shrugs, “We’re not all like that. Pretty sure if I had ended up like that my mom’s ghost would kick my ass.”

Eli gasps and turns to face Bradley, “Unca Wooster! Dats one of da wods we not awowed ta use! I tellin Ganpa.”

Bradley blushes, “I’m so sorry, Eli. Sorry, Ms. Y/N. She would probably kick my butt for this too.”

“Mommy will do it. Or Ganpa. I have you phone pwease?” Eli asks.

Bradley shakes his head, “Grandpa is in a meeting with daddy. We’ll tell on me later.”

“So maybe you are like that,” you say with a chuckle.

“I swear I’m not. It’s hard to remember to turn the cursing off. I’m going to have to do push-ups later over this,” Bradley says with a small groan.

“Push-ups? Really?” You ask with a laugh.

Bradley nods, “Grandpa Mavvie is a stickler for swearing. Last Christmas someone from our squad said ‘F word Santa’ and a little boy heard it and refused to say Santa without the fun word before it. We had a squad meeting about it. Then on Christmas his dad said a bad word and his mom said he was going to have to do push-ups and Grandpa Mavvie then made that everyone’s punishment for saying bad words.”

“Wow that’s rough. I’m glad that doesn’t apply to me. I’ve definitely accidentally said things I shouldn’t hear before,” you say with a shrug.

Bradley playfully scoffs, “Around my nephew? How could you, honey? This is unacceptable!” He blushes when he realizes what he called you.

You laugh, “I know, I know! But try not saying the s h word while you’re across the room watching a kid try and grab an open gallon of paint above their head from a counter. You’d say it too.”

“Oh I’m sure I would,” Bradley says laughing. Huh. You didn’t seem to bat an eye being called that.

Eli turns to Bradley, “Snack now?”

Bradley nods and helps Eli off his lap, “Yep snack now.”

Bradley nods at you as they walk out to the hallway and get a snack together.

During the performance Bradley makes sure to record it on his phone to send to Eli’s parents.

Most people were starting to leave and everyone was taking their kid. Of course Bradley planned to too. No way is Eli staying when they can have an afternoon hanging out together at the park. Maybe even get ice cream.

There were only a few people left, mostly talking amongst themselves. You were talking to one family before the smiled at you and said goodbye.

Bradley and Eli at some point had decided they needed to help clean up. Some people just left messes and Bradley didn’t want you to have to clean up such a big mess so he and Eli cleaned the tables off together. Eli was excited to be a big helper for his teacher. Clearly he was a big fan of his teacher which Bradley was glad of. School is always better when you like your teacher.

When you turned around from talking with the family that just left you noticed the big mess you were going to have to clean up was already cleaned up and two individuals standing off to the side looking pretty proud of themselves. You smile at them both as you head over, “I assume I have you two to thank for cleaning up the mess?”

Eli grins, “I’m a big helper! Unca Wooster said we shud cwean up and be gentemen.”

“Well you two seem to be the best gentlemen. Thank you for helping me,” You say and squat down and hold your arms out that Eli excitedly runs into and hugs you. You smile and hug him back.

“We goin to go pway at da park!” Eli says excitedly as he lets go of you to run back to his uncle.

“You are? That’s so exciting! I’m sure you’ll have so much fun!” You say matching Eli’s excitement.

Eli nods, “Unca Wooster is so much fun!”

You smile, “He seems like it.”

Bradley blushes, “Okay Eli why don’t you get your things, buddy.”

Eli runs off to gather his things then runs back.

“Bye Ms. Y/N!” Eli says grabbing Bradley’s hand.

“Bye Eli! Bye Uncle Rooster or Bradley,” you say smiling and waving. “Hope I see you around.”

Bradley smiles, “I sure hope so, honey, I sure hope so.”

AN: Did I name my class pet Rooster? Yes. Yes I did.

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 16

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 22.7k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Firstly, I wanted to thank you all for your patience and your support, but I still wanted to apologise again for taking so long to update. So much has happened in the past month but in between the tears and all the stress, I'm so happy to still find a comforting escape in writing. This one is a bit shorter than the last one but we're finally getting to those bits of the story that I wrote at the very beginning and I'm just stoked to finally dive into it in detail and with all that this story has come to be. Enjoy!! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 |

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

(13/01/2014 06:43) I can't believe you're cheating on me like that and actually telling me...

Alex chuckled at her dramatics when he checked his phone about half an hour after he'd sent that first picture. It was a quick one he'd snapped of the set they were currently at, a big carpeted living room with Matt's drum kit settled at the very end of it, Nick's bass and Jamie's guitar in their stands on their usual places and a mic stand right in the middle where Alex was meant to stand.

There were clearly a few big lights on the sides of the room and a big camera on someone's hands just off frame that picked at Ella's curiosity when she opened the picture the second she woke up.

So she'd asked where he was and, about ten minutes later, Alex had so easily answered, 'Recording the Arabella music video x' that Ella's jaw dropped and she stood in shock for a fair few minutes before sending that dramatic text back.

Alex snickered to himself, and tuning out the way Jake instructed the crowd in the room around them for the next scene they were about to record, he kept his focus on his phone to continue chatting to Ella.

(13/01/2014 06:58) In my defense, we were told we had this arranged last week and there's nothing I could do about it x

(13/01/2014 06:59) Yeah, sure, that's what they all say.

(13/01/2014 06:59) Darling...

(13/01/2014 06:59) Alexander?

(13/01/2014 07:00) Stop. Not the full name :(

(13/01/2014 07:00) Yes, the full name because you've got some audacity Mister.

(13/01/2014 07:00) Are you angry at me? :(

(13/01/2014 07:01) It's not really your fault but it doesn't mean I'm not giving you the cold shoulder after this.

(13/01/2014 07:01) Ella! That's not fair :((

(13/01/2014 07:01) Yeah, well. Life isn't fair, is it?? Who is this director anyway? Better be a good one or else...

(13/01/2014 07:01) Jake Nava. I hope it's enough to never explore that 'or else' x

(13/01/2014 07:01) Fuck of!!!!! Jake Nava?!?!?!? As in Jake Nava who's directed a bunch of Beyonce and Britney Spears music videos?!?!?

(13/01/2014 07:02) I think so? They mentioned him working with Tina Turner and the Stones too x

(13/01/2014 07:02) Okay, yes. Fucking hell. Should've started with that Alex.

(13/01/2014 07:02) You're funny x

(13/01/2014 07:03) I can hear you rolling your eyes from here sweets x You're forgiven but you better make it up to me, I miss you xx

(13/01/2014 07:03) You know I already am trying to figure something out x We have another single that's missing a music video anyway so... Miss you too darling, so much xx

'Arabella' was the second to last single that was going to be put out by March before their last, 'Snap Out Of It', which had been chosen to be put out by the middle of the year. Now that the 'Arabella' music video had already been taken care of, Alex tried steering the band's team into calling for Focus Creeps' help for the music video for Snap.

It took some convincing, since the lads were still on tour until mid February where they'd have their last show somewhere in the Midwest of the States, but they figured the video could be conceptualized to be recorded without the need of the lads being there. The Brit Awards were just a couple days after the last show of the tour so, the band needed to be on British soil as soon as possible.

Ella and Ben had come up with a good idea for the video so that the lads were involved in the footage but not have to be present on set: they'd use the concept from the recording of AM and portray some sort of breakup scenario between the actress they'd have to hire for the job and Alex. That way, Domino Records could also use the video to announce the AM recording documentary coming out before the Australia/New Zealand tour in May.

Brilliant. It was really a brilliant idea but Alex needed to see her. There was no way he'd be able to hold up until June, when they'd headline Bonnaroo, for him to see Ella. Over six months was way too long and he needed to do something about it.

Alex managed to convince his manager, with just two weeks of anticipation before the day the music video was meant to be recorded, that going to Los Angeles to be present during the recording of the 'Snap Out Of It' was a good idea. He had already bought his ticket before getting the greenlight, thinking it would be fine if he just snuck away from his responsibilities for less than a full day.

Thankfully, after he got the approval, the days had seemed to fly by. Before he knew it, he was bidding farewell to the lively crowd of Saint Louis, Missouri and almost dashing off the stage just to make sure he was closer to seeing her soon.

The guys had laughed seeing him hastily walk away from them at the airport, rushing to get to the horrendously long security line at almost two in the morning whilst the lads took their time to go around the airport for some food and coffee since their flight wouldn't leave until a five in the morning.

The flight from Saint Louis to Los Angeles wasn't that long, merely four hours, but every minute seemed to elongate the more Alex stared at the clock as he waited for the rest of the passengers to board the plane. When they were finally up in the air, he found himself getting more nervous to see Ella again. In his head, he imagined himself flipping through the pages of the scrapbook she'd given him, the one that was in his suitcase so he couldn't exactly get it at that very moment.

Eventually, he fell asleep, all the energy that had lingered in his body after the show had run out and a few hours later, he was being woken up by the voice of the pilot announcing they'd be landing shortly.

Eight in the morning in LAX was an absolute headache, especially avoiding the paparazzi that seemed to perpetually find their places around the arrivals gate, and getting a damn taxi, but he would carry the burden of it all since it meant he was closer to surprising Ella. She had no idea he was coming, he had purposely kept that to himself but he'd had to tell Ben so that he could give him the address for the house they were filming at.

He hated that he couldn't properly stay, not when the Brits were due in three days and they had to rehearse for their presentation. His manager had already warned him against suddenly staying and missing the event; it would look bad if they pulled out of their spot in the show at the last minute, especially when they were nominated for multiple awards.

His flight back to London was later that night, meaning he'd only be able to stay to see Ella and Ben recording the video and then he'd have to go back to the airport. He hoped that by the time he had to go, the video was wrapped up and Ella could have some time with him—even if it was just to say a proper goodbye.

Twenty minutes after walking out through the arrivals gate, he got picked up by a taxi and the drive over to the set was meant to be about forty minutes long. It ended up being over an hour thanks to Los Angeles traffic, which was weird for it being Sunday morning, but not surprising nonetheless.

Ben opened the back door for Alex and after a quick greeting, the singer carefully carried his case up the concrete stairs and into the house, setting it down softly in a corner of the kitchen so that no one heard him coming in. He wished he had recorded it all because when Ella turned around, once Ben had walked back into the living room where everything was set up, and saw Alex, she shrieked and ran towards him.

"What are you doing here?!" She said quickly and breathlessly, like the impact from crashing into his chest and being wrapped in his arms had stolen all the oxygen from her lungs.

He couldn't even find words, not when his smile was so big on his face now that he had her in his arms again. She pulled back, her eyes swimming all over his face as if to make sure he was real, her hands clutching onto his shoulders tightly.

"Oh my god, what are you doing here?" She whispered this time, entirely in shock of it all.

"I had to make it up to you." He shrugged nonchalantly, but the glimmer in his eyes showed the intent behind his presence there.

She smiled brightly, her eyes creasing at the corners in a way that had Alex swooning, "Oh you sure did."

Ella leaned in quickly to press a kiss on his cheek, his eyes closing instantly in bliss at the feeling of her lips on his skin, and then she let go of him because catching a glimpse of Ben standing there with a massive smirk on his face reminded her of the amount of people present in the room and watching their interaction.

"Alright, back to work everyone!" She clapped her hands twice to get everyone's focus away from what had just happened and to lighten the mood and avoid any questions, she joked,  "Boss is here now, gotta make sure it's perfect for him." Cheekily, she turned slightly to look at Alex and winked before turning back to Lydia and going back to work.

Before going back to the scene they'd been shooting, Ella introduced Alex to Stephanie Sigman who was playing the main girl in the music video. They laughed about the state in which she was while meeting the singer, clad in just a pencil skirt and a lace bralette with her makeup all purposely ruined from the tears she'd been uncontrollably shedding for the video.

Alex stepped back and admired Ella and Ben working their magic, appreciating every bit of her concentration and mentally pointing out the little quirks she had as she worked that he'd managed to catch throughout the years.

His smile didn't leave his face the whole time, even more so when he watched the multiple clips Ella had gotten of them recording the album playing on the TV. His stomach doing somersaults inside him when he saw how he smiled at Ella behind the camera in those clips, and he was almost sure that if anyone saw him right then, they would've found him blushing and grinning like an absolute fool.

He was a mess for her, always had been. And that became even clearer to him each day.

An hour must've gone by and Alex was entirely entranced by Ella. He'd felt someone's stare burning on the skin of the side of his neck and when he turned to see who it was, he found Ella's PA, Lydia, staring at him. Only giving her an embarrassed smile back, he prayed she hadn't noticed the way he couldn't peel his gaze off Ella.

He'd gone a bit further away from where everything was set up so that Lydia couldn't catch him again, and he grabbed a water bottle from the kitchen counter to appear casual as he continued watching the crew work.

It was a task tuning his own voice out as time passed, as the song kept repeating over and over, or was fast forwarded or skipped back to a certain point. So he pulled out his phone to update his manager, who in exchange reminded him that his flight left around ten in the evening so he'd have to be at the airport by seven or even a bit earlier, considering how busy LAX got. Alex had gotten so absorbed by the conversation that he didn't notice Ben taking over and letting Ella wander away for a bit.

The speakers blasted the song all over again, making Ella sway her hips softly to it. She mumbled the lyrics under her breath as she walked up to Alex and when she stood beside him, she nudged him gently with her hip and smirked, "This is a banging tune."

Alex smirked back, pocketing his phone and not answering his manager's last text about whether or not he needed a ride to the airport to look at her and then back to where Ben was working his magic with the camera, "Oh well," he shrugged nonchalantly, "You're a great muse."

A weight lifted off his shoulders after finally confessing that to her, and he could only hope that it would push things forward. Maybe with this she'd realize there were many songs about her in the record than she'd thought. He knew she knew 'Arabella' was about her, he'd managed to scoop it out of Flo, and though he hoped her reaction to it was much different now, he still wanted her to know of the songs that were for her in AM.

Ella didn't even have time to think of a response because her mind had gone blank for a few seconds and,  when she managed to gather her bearings, she heard her name being called by Ben to help him with a shot in which he was using the projector.

What the fuck?

With the new piece of knowledge, Ella found herself analyzing every line of the song as the recording continued and it was entirely her fault when she messed up a few takes from how distracted she was.

She didn't even know what to say when Alex told everyone he'd ordered lunch, after he'd ask Lydia when they'd planned for the lunch break to happen, and when everyone sat happily around the place, chatting and enjoying the lovely Italian food Alex had ordered, Ella was oddly silent.

Ben and Alex were engaged in lively conversation and Ella was just standing there, a few feet away from Alex, stuffing her face with the spinach ravioli bolognese that he'd of course gotten just for her. She'd wanted to run to a room in the house and scream into a pillow when he handed her the plate, along with a wink that had almost made her knees buckle.

If Alex had written this song about her, then which other ones could also be about or for her? Ella found herself trying hard to think about each lyric in each song but her brain was a mush. She'd have to listen to the album on the way home and think hard to figure out if the songs she'd even manage to have a feeling were about her, weren't just her reaching and attributing it to herself in confusion.

But first, she needed to finish recording the music video.

Slowly but surely, Ben and Ella wrapped up the shoot around half past three and it took them all about an hour to pack everything up in the small bus so that they could go back to the office.

Ben helped Alex put his suitcase in the back along with some of their camera cases and when he went inside the vehicle, Ella had called him to sit beside her. There was so much going around inside her mind, endless questions that she wanted to ask but with everyone around and the fear of bursting the bubble that they were in, she stayed quiet and chose to just rest her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes and sighing in bliss when she was enveloped by the scent of him.

"Missed you." She mumbled after she felt him kiss the top of her head, warmth seeping through her pores and a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Alex hummed, resting his head over hers and closing his eyes to just revel in the moment, "Missed you more."

They fell asleep like that, the million words that formed a tornado in their heads being dulled down by the feeling of having each other close again.

Almost an hour later, they arrived at the office and Ella knew it from the way Alex's face contorted when he looked at the time on his phone that he had to go soon. She picked up her bag from her desk and turned off her computer quickly, doing a quick sweep of her office to check that she wasn't forgetting something and then she looked back at him.

He was about to say something, but in a desperate moment to have him for a little longer, she suggested, "I can drive you to the airport if you'd like."

He hesitated for a split second, knowing it would be a far longer ride because of it being rush hour, but the prospect of spending that time sitting in traffic beside her was way better than in the backseat of a taxi.

Alex nodded, "Sure, but I can drive." He had seen her yawn multiple times the past few minutes, "You're knackered darling."

"You sure?" She asked but she genuinely wanted to agree to his suggestion, he didn't wanna drive at all for the rest of the day.

The singer hummed, extending his hand out to her and she handed him the keys with a soft smile.

"Right, let's go." She nodded once, walking around her desk and intertwining their fingers to leave the place.

Ella couldn't care less about the glances they got as they waved everyone goodbye, all of them very obviously staring at their hands.

Alex's case rolled beside him as they walked out and he swiftly put it in the trunk of Ella's car when they got to it. Ella had almost run to sit on the passenger seat as soon as he opened the car and he'd laughed to himself at the eagerness on her face.

When he got into the passenger car, he took the piss out of her for her seat arrangement. She scoffed and ignored him, and then he looked up and saw that little mirrorball with a little cowboy hat perched on top and he smiled brightly.

"I missed seeing this." He admitted, bringing his finger up to poke at it and the thing started swinging softly and the reflection of the sun on it was like glitter inside Ella's car.

Ella smiled at it, "So pretty, isn't it?" She yawned yet again, behind her hand as she buckled her seatbelt and then got comfortable in her seat, almost like she was going to fall asleep. "M'gonna get you one when I go back home."

Alex started the car with a smile, finding the way she sleepily slurred her words incredibly endearing and he listened to her slurred words for another fifteen minutes as she guided him out onto the highway.

After she'd fallen asleep, Alex found himself enjoying every minute in that car. He didn't care that the traffic had made the journey over an hour long, because he spent it hearing her soft snores and catching glimpses of the pout on her relaxed face, covered by her hair that she blew softly with every exhale.

With a soft squeeze and rubs on her thigh, Alex woke her up slowly as they got closer to the airport. She'd slowly woken up from her slumber, blinking languidly and yawning before she gathered where they were and brushed her hair away from her face as she stretched out in her place.

"Good morning sunshine." Alex joked with a grin on his face, and Ella blushed at the pet name she hadn't expected.

"Hi." She said shyly, continuing to brush her fingers through her hair to detangle it and then diving into her bag to get a piece of gum and pop it in her mouth.

They had to go all the way to level five to find a parking spot and when they walked out of the car, they were hit by the cold winds of February and the loudness of the place. Ella took out a jacket she kept in the boot of her car and put it on, but despite that, Alex still wrapped his arm around her shoulder and clutched her tightly to him as they walked through the parking lot and onto the lifts so they could go down three levels and into the building so Alex could check-in.

There was a long line to the check-in counters and there were so many people at the airport that the noise around them started making them anxious. It didn't help at all that there were so many paparazzi around the place, so Alex kept his sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose for as long as he could and quietly chatted to Ella as they waited so as not to bring attention to themselves.

Alex only lifted his sunglasses when he got to the counter, Ella's hand tightly clutched in his and he would only let go when he needed to hand in his passport and show his phone with the confirmation number, intertwining their fingers again the second he had his right hand free.

Ella bit her bottom lip to try not to stupidly smile every time, but a grin fought her attempts every time and she freely let herself show how happy his touch made her.

Her smile only faltered when the woman behind the counter asked for Ella's ticket and passport and she had to sadly say she wasn't going with Alex. And only to add to the blooming despair, when the woman checked in Alex's bag and handed him his boarding pass, she let them know that he needed to hurry up because he'd only have a bit over an hour to get through security and get to his gate.

Knowing how LAX got at that time of the day, the lack of any time left together hit them both at the same time and they flashed forced smiles at the woman before thanking her and walking away. Alex hoped that putting his sunglasses back on would help conceal the sadness shining through his eyes.

Walking towards the security line, the looming goodbye weighed heavy on their chests and seeing more and more people joining the back of the line as they approached it only made it worse.

"You really need to get in that line now." Ella sighed heavily, her words coming out pained because she hated having to be reasonable when she didn't want to be.

Alex hummed mindlessly, not really wanting to take her advice into consideration. He cursed having had to agree to performing on the Brits to begin with, he couldn't care less about any good promo for the record or if being invited on stage meant they were assured to win one of the categories they'd been nominated for. Whatever award it was, he'd surely put it away in a box later—he wanted to stay, and he wanted Ella.

His pace slowed as they continued walking, like he was convincing himself more and more of ditching his responsibilities for her. But Ella walked ahead of him, hands still intertwined so he had no other option than to match her pace and follow until they finally stood in the back of the line.

Alex looked at her with a pout, one that she matched but her words came out in an effort to soothe them both, "It's fine. I'll see you soon, yeah?"

Ella scooted a bit closer to his side, and rested her head on his shoulder. Alex wrapped his arm around her waist and kept her close to him, letting his head rest over her head with a deep sigh.

"Yeah." He replied softly, his accent thick and warm as it reached her ears and it almost had her shivering, "Bonnaroo will be fun."

At that, she slowly picked her head up and showed the massive grin that brought to her face, "It will be. I cannot fucking wait."

Even in the most mundane of settings, she looked breathtaking and Alex wanted nothing more than to cup her face and crash their lips together. Not a care in the world that they were in front of the largest crowd, none of them knew just how badly his chest hurt to think about having to leave her yet again.

His eyes dropped to her lips and Ella's breath hitched in her throat at the clear sight of it. In a panic, she changed the subject, "Are you going straight to rehearsal when you get back?" It wasn't that she didn't want that, it was that she didn't know if she could take it. If she could have another taste without wanting to drop to the floor and plead for him to stay.

Alex cleared his throat as he nodded, "Yeah, I land in the morning so I'm probably going straight to the venue."

"When is it again? I need to find a way to watch it." She doubted there could be a way to, she'd most likely would have to be looking through YouTube to find their performance and who were the winners.

"Wednesday night." He frowned slightly trying to search through his mind for a way that would let her watch the show but when he couldn't come up with anything, he promised, "If I can figure out a way for you to watch live, I'll let you know darling."

She hummed, satisfied with that answer, "Thank you sweetness."

They stood in silence then, close to each other and relishing in the warmth each other brought them as the line slowly moved forward. There was only a bit further that she could accompany him in line, she knew that she'd be bothering everyone behind them if she decided to stay with Alex up until it was his turn, and the officer standing by the entrance would ask her for a ticket to make sure only passengers went through, so she'd have to leave as soon as he walked past the glass fence that separated the security check area from the rest of the space.

So it was only a little over ten minutes that Ella stood beside him, before she had to make the decision of peeling herself away from him and actually saying goodbye.

She didn't want to and it was clear in the way the words struggle to slip past her lips. Her frown appeared softly on her face and it deepened as the farewell rose up her throat.

"I need to leave the queue now, sweets." A pout on her face that tied with her furrowed brows made him want to just take her with him, "They're gonna ask for my ticket and everyone behind me will be annoyed I'm taking space in the line when I'm not even leaving."

Alex scoffed at the idea, "Fuck them." He mumbled softly only for her to hear and she chuckled at the firmness of his words.

Turning so that her chest would be flush against his, she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him in a tight embrace. Her eyes fluttered close, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone behind them and it helped her trying to commit the feeling of being in his arms to memory.

Ella heard him hum in bliss and the soft sound stole a smile from her, one that made the apples of her cheeks rise and tint with a faint pink hue that he got to see when she pulled away.

They were so close though, sharing breaths as they took in each other's faces. She wanted to see the brown of his eyes one last time before he left, so she delicately brought her hands to the sides of his face to prop the glasses up on the top of his head. Her smile only got bigger when she saw the richness of color in front of her, his pupils dilating ever so slightly at the action.

Words failed her, she didn't really know what she should've said but nothing came out, every syllable stuck in the back of her throat when her fingers slowly dragged down the skin of his cheeks, a rush of something that felt like a shock to her system when she felt his stubble beneath the pads of her fingers.

She knew she should've asked if it was alright, if she could give into the temptation but she didn't. Ella just closed the distance and finally ended their agony, the feeling of her soft lips on his had Alex inhaling sharply, fingers digging on her waist and pulling her impossibly close.

It was her that hummed this time, when he took over and guided the sweet kiss. It wasn't desperate like they would've expected and it was probably because of the amount of people surrounding them, but it was just what they needed. Like some sort of comfort, a promise of what could become if they would just give into it all, maybe not right then but soon.

And soon couldn't come fast enough.

The kiss didn't last long, but Alex knew that wasn't deliberate just from how firmly she was cupping his jaw. Just as firm as he was holding her waist, not wanting her to move from that spot at all. But she pulled back with a soft smile, her eyes swimming all over his face as if in search of a clear answer and her heart soared in her chest when he leaned back in for another brief kiss.

One that she broke yet again, but he followed with a string of pecks that made her giggle.

But her giggles were interrupted by the man standing behind them clearing his throat, making Alex and Ella turn to look ahead of them and that's when they noticed everyone was waiting for them to follow ahead with the moving line of people.

"Sorry." Ella apologized for the both of them, not really meaning it because she was elated, though her elation was simmering down into a bittersweet feeling at the fact that they were about to move right into the entrance of the security area and it meant that she had to leave.

Alex walked quickly up to where he had to stand, and unfortunately, he found what Ella had said would happen to be right because the officer asked for her ticket and when she awkwardly admitted to not having one, she was asked to step out of the queue.

Thankfully, the officer opened up the railing for her to easily walk out without having to bother everyone behind Alex.

Ella didn't instantly listen though, because she quickly turned back to Alex and cupped his jaw again to pull him in for a quick peck before she said, "See you soon, okay? Love you sweets."

He didn't even have time to reply because she was gone in a matter of seconds and he couldn't even take his time to follow her path with his gaze because the officer rushed him forward and into one of the aisles.

Suddenly, the line started moving faster now that he was in the aisle and he was rushed through. Ella stayed up until he grabbed his belongings and he turned to briefly wave at her, mouthing a quick 'love you' before he was ushered to leave the area by one of the officers that had just cleared him through the scanner.

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Despite being incredibly giddy on her way back home, the long tedious hours she spent by herself while she waited for Alex to text her that he'd landed had been plagued by a storm of thoughts that pushed her into the most pessimistic of states.

Ella knew that if he'd gone for a second kiss then that'd mean something, but she had no idea how to approach the situation at all. They wouldn't see each other until June, four months being apart surely made her courage waver like a house of cards out in the open. Did she even want to properly think about all that she felt when it came to him when she knew there wasn't much at all that they could do about it at that very moment?

It just seemed horrifying and cruel, and Ella had no idea what to do. So she made the decision to let Alex be the one to make the first move, let that be the clear sign that it was something reciprocated.

A stupid decision really, because Alex was just as conflicted about it. He had thought about it the whole flight, falling asleep eventually and dreaming of being able to see her again and just kiss her until their lips were swollen and they had to gasp out for air continuously, dreaming of telling her how she drove him crazy and how he didn't want it any other way.

The kisses shared at the airport were never a topic they touched when they texted after he left. And at first, it was clear that they were walking on eggshells around each other, like they were trying to sway the conversation in that direction but neither of them committed to it. Until Ella took the full day of texts without a mention of the kisses as a sign that it wasn't something he was thinking of and she forced herself to text him like she normally would, Alex following her lead and leaving his unshared thoughts in the back of his head.

When the Brits day arrived, Alex had let her know she could watch the official stream of it on YouTube. He'd comically said, "I haven't a clue of what that means really but that's what Steve told us." She'd cackled at that and called him a grandad, finishing the call wishing them good luck.

She'd wanted to scream when she saw the lads walking onto the red carpet, but she couldn't because she was hidden away in her office with her earphones on after having excused herself for her lunch break. She'd asked Lydia to postpone the two meetings she had later that day so that she could get away with watching the entire award show without interruptions.

And it had been fun, watching the lads perform 'R U Mine?' with the massive AM blazing trails in the other stage. She was amazed at the grandiosity of it all, and she couldn't begin to imagine how hot it must've gotten in that venue due to the fire.

They all looked so good, despite the very different attire they had on. And she was, of course, very biased when she thought just how stunning Alex looked—with that metallic green blazer over a black button down, that he had the top open to showcase the golden chain he always wore, black jeans and his hair styled the usual way.

Whilst the rest of the show went ahead, she mindlessly listened to it in the background as she replied to emails. It wasn't until the 'British Group' category was announced that she went back to put her whole focus on the stream and she squeaked in excitement when Lily Allen announced the Monkeys were the winners.

Ella went from chuckling stupidly at Alex's smolder to cooing over Jamie and Katie sharing a peck, just like Matt and Bre did, to then snort out loud when Alex started his speech. Her snort morphed into a string of giggles that ended in a cackle when he said the last sentence, and she shook her head entirely amused watching them walk back to their table.

Yet, she hadn't expected to laugh even louder when the next category they'd been nominated to came on, Album of the Year, and they won again—this time she'd thought Alex would actually give out a speech about the record but she was comically surprised with an improvised rant about rock 'n' roll that even the lads were giggling about behind the singer.

The way he had to mute his own cursing while thanking everyone had her in stitches already but it was the sudden mic drop by the end of it that made her have to cover her mouth with her hand so she didn't laugh louder than needed.

When she caught her breath back, she reached for her phone and typed a quick message to take the piss out of him for it all.

(19/02/2014 14:06) You're so fucking funny. That speech was something else and the mic drop just brought it all together. Congratulations you clown, so proud of y'all xxxx

She'd gone back to work after she sent that text and eagerly waited for his response, one that came when she was about to exit her office and that had her smiling like an idiot.

(19/02/2014 14:19) I might be a tad tipsy but I'm glad you enjoyed it, love xxx And thank you darling, love you so much xxxxxx Wish you were here :((( xxxxx

That 'love' had assured that her loopy smile stuck on her face for the rest of the day and she had ended up laughing at herself because of the stupid effect he had on her.

She felt pathetic in the best way possible.

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By the time the end of February rolled around, Ella had gotten a nice surprise.

Alice was in Los Angeles to record some songs for Pale Waves' sophomore album and Ella was honestly excited to have a friend over on her side of the pond after being away from everyone for so long.

Pale Waves had stopped touring with AM after the holiday break ended, so that they could focus on finishing their album and Alice had gotten a massive opportunity to travel to LA to work with one of her favorite producers.

The singer had let Ella know a few days before she was due to land on American soil and Ella had made sure to align her schedule to Alice's so that at least they could hang out once or twice while she was there.

It had been on the 26th that Alice had a free day so Ella had taken the day off from work to take Alice around the city and catch up. The girls hadn't seen each other in so long and they only texted ever so often so a lengthy chat was pending.

That was all it really was to Ella: catching up with a friend and making sure that she enjoyed her stay in the city. Nothing more.

Ella had picked her up in the morning and they'd had a lovely breakfast at a cafe by the beach, coffee and pastries shared over mainly work talk. They walked over to the beach and sat down as they watched surfers take on the cold water to ride some waves and Alice let her listen to some demos she had brought to work on when she got there, and a few songs she and her band had already finished.

After they'd spent a fair few hours there, and the sun started bothering them, Ella guided them back to her car and took her to a place she'd recently grown to love more than before: Sunken City.

Yes, it was prohibited to be there and she was risking police fines every time she went but the beauty of the ruins was unmatched and she figured Alice deserved to see a place like it, Ella knew she'd enjoy it.

They'd had to look for a parking spot a bit far away from the place and act very casually as they walked towards the ruins.

Both girls acknowledged the few people there with a tilt of their chins and a soft smile came to their faces when they saw the strangers there doing just what they both were planning on doing, smoking.

Alice had rolled a pair of joints in the car before they walked out to make their way to the intriguing place, and they were planning on carefully trekking around to find a good spot and smoke for a bit before Ella had to drop Alice off back at the hotel she was staying at.

"What was this then?" Alice asked, intrigued by the graffiti on the sides of big rocks that looked humanly impossible to have been put together.

Ella had Alice's hand in hers as she guided them both around, taking careful steps since she knew slipping and falling over would end up poorly, the other arm stretched out to the side so she'd have some help with her balance.

It was good Alice had decided to change her usual platform heeled boots for some flat doc martens that were much safer in this situation.

"This used to be part of the neighborhood back in the 1920s, but there was a landslide in '29 that took a bunch of the houses here into the ocean and people had to relocate." Ella explained softly as she focused on the last few feet she had to get to her favorite spot there.

When she reached it, she carefully pulled Alice closer and sat down at the edge of the tall flat rock first before she could help Alice sit down next to her. The shoulders almost pressed together, their thighs brushing against each other.

"After people moved away, they demolished what was left of the houses and nature just left this after decades." With quickness, Ella took the lighter from her jeans pocket and offered it to Alice. The singer had the joints in her possession so she took them out and offered one of them to Ella, placing the other one between her lips and lighting it up before giving Ella the cowboy boot shaped trinket back.

Ella lit her joint alive and took a long drag, watching Alice take in every bit of the view as she let out the smoke she'd inhaled. "Isn't it gorgeous?" The sky was changing due to the sun coming down to rest on the horizon, a soft orange and pink coming to life behind clouds and it was a promise of a picture perfect sunset to come soon.

Alice hummed, it was eerie yet stunning. Trying to make out the street art on the ruins was becoming distracting as the weed started relaxing her system, her eyes catching the rusted spray paint cans discarded in between the creases of the rocks.

"You come here often?" Alice frowned when she realized how familiar Ella seemed with the place and it honestly surprised her because Ella didn't seem like the type to frequent places like this. Especially not when a huge 'no trespassing' sign welcomed you into the place.

Ella chuckled in amusement at her clear confusion, and took another drag before she answered, "I do now, yeah. I had only driven past twice before but one of my friends from work managed to convince me to come here to take some pictures at the start of the year and after he taught me how and when to come in without getting caught by the police, I've been coming here to clear my head."

Alice snickered in amusement, lifting her joint and waving it briefly in the air to mock, "Clear your head, yeah?"

Rolling her eyes and turning to look straight at Alice, Ella scoffed, "Shut up. You do just the same to clear your head."

Alice cocked her head at Ella's raised brow that felt like a challenge to refute her words. The singer only shrugged with a low chuckle, placing the spliff back between her lips to inhale and a smirk formed on her face after she let the smoke out.

"Amongst other things." Alice teased, her pupils dilating as she stared right into Ella's eyes and she purposely let her gaze drop to her lips.

Ella knew exactly what she was doing, so she smirked to herself and replied with a sarcastic, "Yeah, I'm sure." as if she was fully disinterested.

But Alice made Ella's breath hitch in her throat when she confidently let her hand come over Ella's clothed thigh and squeezed as she said, "You know."

She squirmed in her place when a rush of heat tingled all the way down her spine, nodding mindlessly when she replied, "I do."

Her eyes fell on Alice's lips and she gulped at the proximity they found themselves in. The magnetism Alice had was something that Ella couldn't really explain.

"You really do." Alice added, leaning closer into Ella's space.

Their lips brushed once, Alice teasing Ella with a taste of the feeling of their lips together again and Ella was finally the one to fully close the distance. It had been a while since they'd shared a kiss so Ella's memories of back then flashed to the forefront of her mind in a split second, like the singular touch of their tongues melting together was enough of a deja vu to undo a box of memories that reeled through her mind like a film.

It didn't take long until they started being vocal, gasps for air and soft moans that they swallowed, and it all encouraged them to use their free hands for something. Alice let her hand wander up Ella's thigh until she got closer to her heat and she silently instructed Ella to open her legs. All while Ella rubbed up and down Alice's silky skin, feeling the goosebumps that broke on it from their kiss and cheekily letting her fingers wander to the insides of her thighs and up until she hit the hem of her shorts, only to make Alice a bit louder.

However, all of the sudden, as if her brain was begging her to remember, the memory of the kiss she'd shared with Alex at the airport managed its way through and made her stop.

Ella had pulled Alice slowly until the singer had lifted herself up and was about to straddle her when Ella harshly pulled back and broke the kiss, hurriedly saying, "Allie– No. I can't."

Alice saw the way the color drained from Ella's face and she quickly sat back down beside her, a frown taking over her expression and she genuinely asked Ella, "Are you okay?"

In Ella's brain there was a horrendous turmoil that had shook her. A heavy weight of guilt came down on her chest and almost made her wheeze out for a breath. She nodded as she struggled to get herself together, her words came out choked out thanks to her dry mouth and throat, "Erm, yeah. I just– I'm sorry."

She felt the need to apologize because, after all, she had been the one to start the kiss. But Alice wouldn't have that, so she shook her head and brushed Ella's hair behind her ear and shoulder, "Ella, don't apologize." She kissed her shoulder softly in reassurance and smiled sweetly at her to add, "You don't owe me a thing, no need to apologize."

"It's just, I–" Ella tried to explain, but she didn't know how to even begin to put the mess of thoughts together into coherent sentences.

Alice shook her head once more and with her hand coming back to rest over her leg, this time she let it innocently rub soothing circles on her skin as she continued calming her down, "You don't have to explain anything to me baby, it's okay."

The singer could almost hear the erratic thumping of Ella's heart because of how quiet the director had gotten. The dancing of the waves on the shore took over, as well as the birds flying over them and the chatter of the strangers they'd walked past earlier.

"Don't go quiet on me, it's fine." Alice broke the silence after letting Ella revel in it for a few minutes, they were about to finish their spliffs and Alice took the hanging of Ella's shoulders as a sign of her relaxing again. She knew she'd have to be the one to push her out of the pit she'd thrown herself into so she playfully nudged her and encouraged, "C'mon, tell me about how it was the first time you came here and how badly you were shitting yourself about it."

Hearing Ella laugh over her choice of words was music to Alice's ears and, just like that, they spent the rest of their time there. Lighting up cigarettes after their joints were finished, chuckling and admiring the sunset beautifully forming in front of them.

Before they left, they took a quick few pictures together. They had no idea when it would be that they'd see each other again so they wanted to keep a memory. Cheek to cheek, they posed for Alice's camera and they took a few selfies like that. The first ones were just of them smiling, and then Alice stuck her tongue out as Ella made a kissy face—the singer's tongue poked at Ella's pursed lips making her giggle after the shutter was pressed. In amusement, Ella copied Alice and stuck her tongue out too, letting their tongues touch shamelessly for the camera.

The sunset had long before it would die down but Ella knew it was around this time of the day that the cops came to check on the place, so she rushed them both out of the place and when they got to the car she breathed in relief. It was always like that when she went to Sunken City, she wasn't a rule-breaking girl even if she tried to.

As she started the car, Ella made Alice send her the pictures to her email and the singer did just that. Ella would've taken a few with her own phone but it had run out of battery, unfortunately. On the way back to her hotel, Alice took over the aux and she enjoyed introducing Ella to music she had never really heard before—she took a video of Ella bobbing her head and humming along Blink-182.

Meanwhile, Alex was sitting at a circular table with the rest of the band, along with Bre, Katie and Kelly, and he was rather tipsy at the NME Awards. They had already accepted three awards and they were fucking buzzing with energy—and alcohol. He couldn't stop his fingers from sending a bunch of texts and he kept them coming despite Ella's lack of replies.

It wasn't until he was at the afterparty, once he had found himself in a boring conversation he could tune out, that he pulled out his phone to check for the hundredth time if Ella had replied that he checked Instagram and his heart had dropped to the ground at what he saw.

Alice had posted the selfie where she and Ella had their tongues out and captioned it 'always want a taste of my favourite cowgirl xxx' and right after, she'd posted the video of Ella dancing to a Blink-182—he had excused himself and brought his phone speaker up to his ear to hear the video and he rolled his eyes in anger hearing their laughter and Alice singing and encouraging Ella to keep dancing with the sweet talk she always gave the American girl.

The jealousy streaming through his veins was bitter and hot, and it was enough to cloud the excitement of having won six awards that night.

His thoughts started going into the worst direction and he was fucking fuming just thinking about how he was almost entirely certain they'd shagged again.

Alex stomped on the bud of the cigarette with fury and he started throwing back drinks consistently all through the rest of the night.

All the alcohol he ingested backfired on him and he had ended up drunk dialing Ella's phone way too many times, until he passed out on top of his bed in the same clothes he'd worn all night.

When he woke up, his mind was foggy enough to have forgotten about just what had sent him down a spiral, but when he groaned as he lifted himself up on the bed and checked on his phone, a text from Ella brought it all back and he just wanted to be sick right then and there.

(26/02/2014 20:54) Sweets, I'm so sorry I didn't answer your calls! My phone died and I only just got back home from spending the day with Alice. I'm really tired, honestly, and I bet you're asleep by now so I'll call you tomorrow okay? Love you and congratulations!!!! Don't let the 'hero of the year' award get to your head though, it's already big as it is ;)) xx

If 'spending the day with Alice' wasn't clear proof that she had shagged the singer, Alex didn't know what it was. Out of pettiness he didn't reply, leaving Ella on read the rest of the day and he watched the phone ring and ring multiple times in the evening but he never answered her calls.

He felt ridiculous but he was angry and he knew he had no legs to stand on but he just couldn't help himself. Though, he knew he shouldn't be directing his annoyance at Ella. He didn't even want to think about how Alice fucking knew he had feelings for Ella and yet, she went ahead and fucked her, and rubbed it on his face again.

His fingers hurt and felt numb by the end of the day from how hard he'd been clenching his fists all day thinking about the horrendous situation. The hangover he was sporting didn't help either, and the only thing he could rely on was the rich rainfall of warm water inside his shower where he spent almost an hour trying to calm down.

Before he went to bed, he warily sent her a text, one that sounded so disingenuous it made him cringe after he sent it.

(27/02/2014 17:26) Sorry, I've been so hungover I had to turn my phone off to be able to peacefully sleep it off. I'll call you when I start feeling like a person again. Thank you for the love, take care Ellie xx

Ella instantly knew something was off, and she wanted to be sick when she got that text while she was stuck in traffic on the way back home. She had a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel the rest of the way back, but she couldn't find a reason for his behavior. Despite her gut telling her the opposite, she had to attribute it to his supposed hangover, and she just hoped it was nothing else.

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When March came around, so did Breana and Matt. The couple arrived in the morning of the second day of the month and Ella had picked them up from the airport with a bright smile on her face.

Her heart swelled in her chest having the pair back in Los Angeles and they all had the best time having brunch in West Hollywood before they went back to Bre's house. There they sat down in front of a flat screen and played the Arabella music video which had just come out an hour before.

Ella had gasped at the sudden lewdness of the video and by the time it ended, she asked so many questions about how it had been to shoot all that. She'd subtly asked about the scenes that Alex had to film, since she was still playing on loop the scene of Alex walking into a woman changing and it had left her uncomfortably squirming in her place. Thankfully, this time Matt hadn't chosen to joke around and actually told her how different it had been and Ella found herself curious about the director's methods.

The rest of the day had been spent catching up and Ella had been the one surprised by the news that Matt and Bre had decided to look for a house in Los Angeles and move in together. Ella had squeaked in excitement and hugged them both tightly, joking about how she'd have to go into whichever place they would decide to go for with gloves because she was sure the first thing they would do would be christening every corner and surface of that house.

By the end of the night, they'd been sleepily brainstorming what could be done for Bre's birthday and they had decided to just go to a pub or a club and celebrate there, knowing how long it had been since they'd partied together, Matt agreed saying it was a needed evening after all that time.

So when the fifth of March rolled around, they had found themselves, along with a handful of Bre's friends, at a club where they celebrated the birthday girl. Ella hadn't planned on drinking that much but Bre kept convincing her of taking shot after shot and she'd ended up giggling uncontrollably as they danced.

When Ella had been sent for another round of shots though, a guy came up to her and started chatting her up and she'd flushed much more than usual thanks to the alcohol in her blood. The guy had ended up saving his number in her phone and making sure to have her call him, to which Ella hesitantly agreed.

Bre had seen it all and she'd asked all about it but Ella didn't have much to say, the guy and every word he uttered was so forgettable that the whole interaction slipped her mind and she just shrugged when she mentioned he'd given her his number.

Ella had let herself forget about it until the day of her birthday.

She'd decided to just stay in that day, inviting a few of her work friends over as well as Bre and Matt. There were multiple wine bottles and a few snack plates as well as charcuterie boards, so it was gonna be a calm night of pure chatter and good food.

It was around eleven in the evening that Bre decided to bring the cake she'd gotten Ella and light up some candles to sing her happy birthday, before some of her friends left. So Matt facetimed Alex from his phone to make sure he was present for that moment, like he had promised the drummer to do earlier when he had called to wish Ella a happy birthday.

Alex had stayed on the phone for a longer time though, hearing as Ella's co-workers left after midnight, wishing her happy birthday and thanking her for a lovely night. He'd been smiling the whole time and he had laughed along with Bre, Ella and Matt when the three of them were the only ones left at Ella's house.

They'd started cleaning up by the time the clock hit one in the morning and, since it wasn't really that entertaining, Matt had let Alex go. Alex said bye to Bre and wished Ella a happy birthday one last time before he hung up the phone, and it was just as he was hearing Matt promising to call him in the next few days, that he heard Breana saying something that just felt like another knife to the heart.

"Why didn't that guy from the other night come? I thought you were gonna invite him."

He didn't even get a chance to hear Ella's response because Matt ended the call, and he wallowed in self pity for no reason because Ella had shrugged and waved her best friend's question off by clearing up, "I didn't even call him after all. Wasn't really interested, if I'm being honest."

Yet, Alex hadn't heard those words and he was left thinking about it the rest of his day. But this time, he didn't let his jealousy turn into a cold shoulder treatment, because in all honesty it had been painful to read the meek messages he sent her after he saw Alice's posts. He'd remembered how badly he'd fucked up that night at the pub when Ella was in London and he didn't want a repeat of that so he had eventually had to suck it up and force himself to go back to normal.

So he knew he could swallow it and move on, it was hard ignoring the ache in his chest though. He shook his head at himself when he found his thoughts going back to the words Bre had said and forcing himself to stop thinking about it was a challenge, but he had to remind himself that he was in no position to react like that and that if he let it poorly show like he had before, he could fuck things up.

And that was the last thing he needed.

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The rest of March and the start of April had been filled with everyone throwing great news around and the smiles seemed to be always present in everyone's faces.

Nick and Kelly had surprised the group with the news of a baby on the way, making Ella and Bre cry on facetime when they called and showed the scan pictures of the baby growing in Kelly's belly.

Jamie and Katie had been finishing up the last details of their wedding and the American girls had gotten loads of pictures of every single dress Katie had tried on throughout her dress shopping week that she spent going from shop to shop accompanied by her family, Florence and Kelly.

Bre and Matt had managed to put an offer on a house in Hollywood Hills that they fell in love with and they had gotten it accepted, meaning they just had to endure about a fortnight of paperwork in order to close the sale and finally say the house was theirs.

It was when Bre and Matt finally got the keys to their house and were able to take out the 'sold' sign out of the grass by the mailbox, that they invited everyone over for the weekend so that they could celebrate everyone's news.

Nick, Jamie, Kelly and Katie had all been in the same flight so they arrived together at Matt and Bre's new house in the early afternoon of a Friday in the middle of April. Alex had basically spent most of his time back home doing a press tour due to the rise of the record—their label wanting the band to go around doing interviews and magazine covers and articles to ride the high of it all—but he had done it all alone, and he had a radio interview in the morning of that very Friday so he had to leave in a later flight and got there late in the evening.

They'd planned a barbecue for Saturday and since the new house was so close to the Universal Studios amusement park, they were all thinking of spending the first half of the day there until they had to leave so everyone was ready for their late night flight back home on Sunday.

Ella had woken up early and gone to the shops to get snacks and drinks and whatever else she thought they might need, making sure to not forget the housewarming gifts she'd bought for the couple: a funny welcome mat that said 'come in' but if it was flipped upside down it changed into 'go away', a box of condoms and a fun little set of leather cuffs. Ella had giggled when picking the things up and she'd giggled some more when wrapping them up.

She cursed the couple a few times when stuck in traffic for deciding to live so far away from her, but when she got there and saw Bre and Matt open the door and wave at her as she pulled into the driveway, Ella cooed at the image.

"I'm so fucking happy for you two." Ella said after she crashed into them and wrapped them in a group hug, her eyes closed and a big smile on her face.

Bre dropped a kiss on her cheek at the same time as Matt said, "Thank you Ellie."

When Ella pulled back, she smirked, "I might place some bets in a bit. See how fast you manage to knock her up."

Matt's smirk showed instantly on his face and Bre cackled next to him. He proudly puffed his chest out and shrugged nonchalantly as he replied, "Well it's not like we aren't practicing."

"Of course you are. Filthy bitches." Ella joked with a giggle stuck in her throat, but before she could continue her taunting, she turned around to head back to her car, calling out behind her, "C'mon Matthew, help me with the things I brought."

The drummer followed her but scolded her for going against what they'd told her the previous day on the phone, "Ella, we told you we got everything."

And Ella clearly remembered them saying how they had everything covered and that the only thing they needed was her to be there but she wouldn't have that, she wasn't showing up empty handed. So she easily sing-sang, "Don't care!" as she walked up to her car and opened the trunk.

Matt was handed a pair of grocery bags with a few pints of ice cream and a few cuts of meat, managing to carry a strawberry cheesecake she'd bought for everyone to have later and Bre came up to them when she saw the big beer case that was left to be brought out of the boot of the car. Ella thanked them before she grabbed the gifts and her big bag with clothes and a towel for her to use after the pool.

Before she went out to the backyard, she helped put the ice cream, beer and the cheesecake in the fridge whilst Matt took the meat to the barbecue to season it and start cooking it along with the rest of food they had outside.

Bre showed Ella the array of alcohol they had already cooled in the fridge, but Ella opted to start it calmly with just a beer.

When she walked out through the open sliding doors, she was met with a scene that she'd missed very much. The chatter full of thick accents and those laughs she knew so well flooded her with a warm sense of familiarity and she almost wanted to cry.

"Hi!!!" She loudly greeted everyone, her smile so big that her eyes creased at the edges.

A chorus of "Ella!" was heard and everyone scrambled around to come up to her and greet her with hugs that swelled her heart with love.

She'd spent a little longer hugging Nick and Kelly, tearing up when touching the little bump that Kelly was sporting at about fifteen weeks. And those tears had managed to slip down her cheeks when she finally got her arms around Alex's frame.

"Missed you, sweets." She whispered in his ear, sniffling after the words left her lips and rubbing her thumb over the fabric of his white shirt.

Alex swayed them softly for a few seconds before plating a chaste kiss on her cheek and pulling away to reciprocate, "Me too darling."

The first thing they did was start the barbecue so that they could eat before getting in the pool as they waited for the sun to rise higher and burn brighter on them all.

The lads proudly showed Ella the High Green sign they had managed to put up on the wall right by where the grill was placed, and she giggled at their excitement only to run to her bag and get her camera to take a picture of them all in front of it.

As they waited for the food to cook, they sat down on the lounge chairs and caught up on what they'd all been up to. Everyone was more focused on Nick and Kelly's story about how they found out about the baby and what had been said on the first scan they'd had, so most of the conversation was centered on the little O'Malley who, according to the doctor, was coming at the end of September.

The food had been thoroughly enjoyed, loud chatter and laughter joined the chirping of the birds and the sway of the leaves from the wind, which was doing little to keep them fresh thanks to the sun now burning down on their skins. Most of everyone's clothes had been discarded so that they could be fresh as they ate and drank but eventually it got too hot and Matt was the first one to jump into the pool.

Bre and Katie followed shortly after, jumping in hand in hand and swiftly coming back up with bright smiles on their faces. Nick had taken the path of going down the stairs by the shallow end of the pool and he had expected Kelly to do the same but she jumped in just like the girls had done. Everyone laughed at the way Nick's face fell in shock and the deep breath he took after Kelly came back up.

Ella was finishing the last of her steak before getting in the pool when Alex stood up and shed himself off his shoes and his shirt which had already been fully opened. She'd been trying not to gawk at his figure even if she wouldn't be obvious behind her sunglasses, so she'd forced herself to keep her gaze on her plate as she stabbed on the last cut of meat she had.

That's why she hadn't noticed the way everyone in the pool exchanged mischievous looks with the singer.

Alex startled her by wrapping his arms firmly around her middle from the back and she'd gasp after swallowing the last bite of food she had in her mouth.

"Alex don't!" She pleaded in desperation, she dropped her plate on the chair beside her hip and that was when he finally picked her up and started walking forwards with her in his arms.

Ella squirmed in his hold, kicking her legs but it did nothing to have him put her down. If anything, she was only accentuating just how close they were because the more she moved, the more she felt him clearly against her.

Her cheeks tinted pink and she got hotter as he got closer to the edge of the deep end, and she heard him chuckle in her ear after she begged once more, "Please, Alex! Don't!"

But before she could try her luck once more, Alex leaped forward and made the both of them jump into the pool together.

She came up with a gasp and took a deep breath before turning around to find Alex and shove him, "You bitch!"

The laughter was loud around them, and Alex looked far too pleased with his actions. The corners of his lips pulled up in a gorgeous toothy grin that made her melt and she let herself come back down into the water to cool her face and brush her hair backwards.

She realized then that her glasses were gone so she scoffed as soon as she came up to the surface, "Alex!" She whined loudly, "My sunglasses!"

The cackles that her words elicited were obnoxiously loud but she sucked it up when the singer looked down and instantly dove down to find them. The group watched Alex's blurry silhouette move under the water until he came up with the black shades in hand and a soft smile.

He purposely got close to her and wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her in when he came back afloat, "Sorry, darling. Here you go." He said smoothly, handing her the sunglasses which she took with a glare but she still wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"Thanks." She muttered before putting the glasses back on, her stoic face being a challenge to keep on when he left a wet kiss on her cheek.

Bre had elbowed Matt before he could say anything about the pair because she knew her boyfriend was just biting his tongue to tease them about their proximity. Instead, she chose to start a conversation about their plans for the next day and suggested a visit to Universal Studios since they were merely fifteen minutes away from the place.

From then on, conversation had flowed smoothly and the next few hours had been spent drinking and chatting, laughing and smoking. Music had started playing from a speaker Matt brought out sometime in the middle of the afternoon and it kept playing until they decided to act like children and start chicken fighting.

Kelly had opted out so she and Nick had been assigned as 'referees' to 'keep an eye out on the fairness of each round', or whatever Matt had said along those lines.

Bre had managed to knock Ella down the first round, undoubtedly because Matt had kicked Alex and made him falter so Ella was thrown off balance and fell backwards into the water.

So while Ella waited to see who she had to fight next, from Bre and Katie who were currently fighting, she'd gotten lost in the way the sunshine gleamed on the girls' skins and how stunning they both looked.

No one could or should blame her for staring really—the two girls were models and for a damn reason.

She'd been lost appreciating their features being accentuated by the golden sunlight that Alex's touch suddenly on her face made her heart jump out of her chest.

His right hand cupped her jaw and he turned her face to the side so she could look at him, fingers firmly on her skin and, when his thumb came up to brush against her bottom lip, her breath hitched in her throat.

This is it, she thought. All that was going through her mind was how it would be then that he'd kiss her again. And she was certain that she would collapse right then and there.

Except, when Alex leaned forward, he never closed the distance. Instead, he opened his mouth to whisper, "You're drooling a bit there, darling." in a mocking manner after having found her gawking at the girls.

Suddenly, his touch was gone and so was he, only leaving her with the warm breath that left his lips as he chuckled to hit her parted mouth.

Ella had no idea why she felt so defeated by the turn of events and she cursed herself for being an idiot and getting her hopes up with suck quickness.

She had to act like nothing had happened, gulping harshly and rolling her eyes, turning her head back around to watch the girls, but she wasn't watching anymore. Not really. Her gaze was stuck somewhere in the background, staring into a brick wall as she bit the inside of her cheek and the feeling of her heart dropping and her blood running suddenly cold made her shiver.

Swimming to the stairs, she came out of the pool and poured herself a shot of whiskey. She tossed it back in a split second, hissing to herself when it burned down her throat and then she walked up to her bag to get herself a cigarette. She needed the sweet relief of nicotine so desperately then, to numb herself down a little—she wished she'd brought some weed with her.

"Idiot." She mumbled to herself when she couldn't get the lighter to spark, having to let out a deep sigh before trying again and when it finally lit up the end of her cigarette a familiar orange hue, she took a long and deep drag.

After that, every touch that Alex left on her skin, deliberate or not, burned like a cigarette burn that she was so painfully aware of. Each brush of his fingers sparked more doubts in her mind, she was so distracted by her own stupid worries that she was trying so hard to ignore, that she'd missed many words directed at her.

The latest one being Katie asking her if she could help her bring the dessert out for everyone. Ella apologized for making her repeat herself but nodded as enthusiastically as she could and followed the model inside to get the cheesecake out of the fridge.

Singing along to a Stones song that was playing outside, Katie and Ella worked steadily as they cut a piece of dessert for everyone to enjoy. There was something about cutting the pieces of cake that reminded Katie of her upcoming wedding and that's when the realization came to her that she hadn't told Ella the good news.

"Wait, did we tell you we have a date for the wedding yet?" The knife hung in the air as the model looked at Ella with eyes wide, praying that she had told her but just forgotten.

But Ella shook her head and smiled at Katie so she wouldn't worry about it, "No! When is it?"

Still, Katie's face fell and the color of her cheeks paled a bit as she apologized, "Oh god, I'm so sorry." She quickly plated the last piece before dropping the knife on the sink and then grabbing Ella delicately by the shoulders, "It's on May 15th, please tell me you can come."

The specific date rang in Ella's head and her memory itched with the faint knowledge of something happening around those days. She didn't really remember though, so she asked, "Is it here?" before she could check her calendar.

"London." Katie answered quickly, "This venue we really wanted but were waitlisted for called us last week and told us they'd gotten a cancellation for that day and we just said yes."

The elation shined through Katie's face and it melted Ella's insides, "Awh, I'm so happy that worked out for y'all."

Katie pulled her in for a hug and mumbled against her ear, "I know, we're buzzing too. But please tell me you can come."

"I think I have something scheduled for May but I don't think anything important." Ella commented before pulling away from the hug, knowing she'd have to make sure on her calendar and since it was outside, she pointed towards the sliding door and said, "Let me check." before walking quickly towards her bag to retrieve her phone.

When she was back in the kitchen, Katie watched expectantly as Ella skimmed through her phone. Her heart dropped right with Ella's when she watched Ella's smile falter to then curse under her breath, "Oh shit."

"Don't tell me it's bad news." Katie pleaded, as if she didn't know Ella's expression meant just that.

Ella cringed when she looked up and sighed heavily, "I have a shoot that whole week and the next one."

"Can you reschedule?" Katie asked quickly, even though it seemed almost impossible if the shoot was two weeks long.

Ella considered the possibility for a split second but she remembered the long document she'd signed and she remembered reading something about there not being a possibility to change the dates of the shoots, "I signed a contract..."

Katie started fiddling with her fingers, trying to come up with a solution, "We'll pay whatever the penalty for infringing it is– You have to be there!"

Ella pouted and nodded in agreement but she went back to her phone to find the contract and see what exactly it said. She frowned as she searched through her email, giving Katie a quick rundown on what the ambitious project was for, "The contract is with the university I went to. We're shooting this short film in Boston and submitting it to the Los Angeles film festival."

"So you can't come?" Katie barely mumbled, as if saying it louder would mean it to be true.

But, the volume of their words didn't matter because Ella found the ten page document and when she found the section talking about bookings and flights and venues, she winced and bit the inside of her cheek as she read over and over to understand that the answer wasn't gonna help at all.

"I'm afraid I can't, no." Flights and accommodation had already been booked, locations to film had already been separated and the proper city permits for the project had been granted for those dates, making it all impossible to be pushed to another date. "Fuck..."

Katie pouted, her heart heavy in her chest and she walked the few steps that separated her from Ella to envelope the director in a hug, "I'm so sad now."

"I'm sorry." Ella mumbled, hating that she would have to miss such an important event for her friends.

Katie didn't want Ella to think it was on her though, so she pulled back and shook her head, "No, babe, you're fine. This is so last minute, don't worry." Katie could also see how big of a thing that shoot would be for Ella and her career so she wouldn't want her to feel like she had to pull out of the project for their wedding. It didn't mean she wasn't devastated by the knowledge of her absence that day, "Just heartbroken you won't be there."

Placing her phone on the kitchen counter, Ella clutched Katie tightly to herself and agreed, "I know, me too."

With two plates in hand each, Katie and Ella walked outside and handed the dessert around. There were still four more plates to bring so the girls walked back into the kitchen to grab the last of them.

As she was about to hold two plates, Ella stopped in her tracks and turned to Katie with a suggestion, "Wait. How about I compensate for this?"

"What?" Katie asked, confused.

"For not going to your wedding."

Katie's brows rose in understanding and then she waved Ella off softly, "It's not your fault, you don't have to compensate for anything."

Ella nodded, coming to terms with that but a smirk showed on her face when she pushed, "Okay but let me be able to participate somehow."

Her smirk was contagious, a soft one pulling at Katie's corners of her lips as she said, "Right, I'm listening."

She had no idea what to expect and it was a nice surprise when the American girl suggested, "Do you wanna have a photoshoot tomorrow?" with a cheeky grin on her face.

A soft "Oh?" left Katie's lips at the idea of it.

She was about to say yes, not really a doubt in mind that a photoshoot with Ella would be a dream, but when Ella mischievously added, "We'll need to buy some things in fun stores but I reckon it'll be a good wedding gift." then it clicked in Katie's head what the girl was suggesting.

"Is this what I think it is?" Katie whispered, as if the naughty idea that had been thrown in the air wordlessly was meant to be kept secret.

Ella giggled at Katie's eager face and nodded, "Yeah."

"Okay, deal." Katie put her hand out for Ella to share, which she did with a louder string of giggles and when it was settled, Katie squeaked softly and added, "Oh I'm so excited!"

Finally grabbing the last four plates, they walked back outside. There, they handed those who were missing their sweet food and when Katie sat beside Ella at the edge of the pool with their feet dipped in the warm water, the model gave everyone the sad news.

As soon as Katie said Ella wasn't gonna be able to attend, everyone loudly talked over each other but the main word everyone had said was, "Why?" so Ella easily explained the reasoning behind it all.

With pouts and grimaces on their faces, the group came around to understanding after a wave of possible solutions that were just too much of an inconvenience for both parties.

"I'll steal Katie tomorrow, if you don't mind Cookie." Ella let the guitarist know, trying to hide the smirk that appeared on her face by eating the last of her cake slowly. "You know, to make it up to her."

Jamie stared at the pair with curiosity, he could see that they were planning something but he had no clue what it could be, so he joked, "And when are you making it up to me?"

Ella had to press her lips together not to give it all away, and she forced herself to act nonchalant as she shrugged, "Soon, I suppose."

Jamie hummed, narrowing his eyes at her and then his fiance but when they only giggled to each other and said nothing else, he figured he would be able to find out what it would be soon enough.

That night, after spending more hours messing about in the pool with alcohol and lit cigarettes in hand, Ella and Katie left to go back to Ella's house.

Before they could go to sleep, Ella went online and booked a hotel room, one that they both liked and that thankfully was close to The Grove so that they could go shopping and then to their shooting location quicker.

Going shopping for lingerie with Katie was fun. Ella had never been one to feel properly comfortable going into one of the stores because she always felt watched and judged but being there with Katie, who had actually pushed her into the changing rooms so that she could also try some sets and cute babydolls, was entertaining and Ella enjoyed herself.

"These are gonna look gorgeous dusting away in my closet." Ella joked as they left with an arm full of shopping bags each. "Thank you though, that was fun." Katie kissed her cheek loudly and, after taking a break to go grab something to eat, they got some gorgeous heels for Katie to wear.

After getting to the hotel and checking in, everything had gone incredibly smoothly and it just brought the biggest smiles to their faces. Katie trusted her wholeheartedly and she was a model so this wasn't her first rodeo, therefore it all added to the easy and enjoyable journey the afternoon was being.

The thing about boudoir photography was that it was tricky to find that balance between erotic and mysterious, showing much more than usual but keeping it enticing and evoking lust, hunger and passion. But with a woman like Katie posing for the camera, Ella found it so easy to play in so many different angles and spaces that just worked on the subtle storyline they were keeping for it.

By the time the clock hit five in the afternoon, the girls took the last of the pictures and once the sun started to set, they got everything they'd brought and went back downstairs to the lobby to check out and rush back to Matt and Bre's house.

When they got there, everyone was ready to head to the airport. Multiple suitcases were waiting by the door whilst everyone was having one last drink in the living room as they waited for Katie and Ella to come back. Thankfully, Katie had taken her case with her so she'd put everything away in the hotel before coming back so that she'd be ready to go when they stepped foot in the house.

The minute Bre stepped back into the living room with Ella and Katie in tow, everyone downed the last of their drinks and scrambled to get their things and leave as soon as they could. Their flight was leaving in a few hours, and they knew just how busy LAX would be on a Sunday night.

That was why the goodbyes exchanged were hasty and brief. They got the eight minutes it took for the big van they'd ordered to take them to the airport as the time to bid each other farewell.

Katie squeezed Ella tightly before she got inside the vehicle and Jamie had cheekily asked what they'd done as he hugged Ella goodbye, only to get a giggle and an obviously faux, "I don't know." as an answer.

Kelly and Nick briefly trapped her in a hug and Ella made them promise to come back soon so that she could do a little maternity shoot for them. Kelly cooed at the thought and took her up on the opportunity, making sure to promise that the second they'd plan on coming back, she'd be the first to know.

Alex, who had been helping Matt put the luggage in the back of the van, walked up to Ella last. She was still facing the van's open door so when he came up to her, he trapped her in a headlock and dipped his face so he could press a long kiss on her cheek.

The two couples inside the vehicle saw the way Ella's face lit up at the contact, her nose and eyes scrunching up and her lips pulled into a loopy grin.

Ella's arms wrapped instinctively around Alex's waist and she turned in his hold to hide her face in the crook of his neck. She left a few pecks there before she pulled back and whispered, "Be back soon okay? I'll miss you."

Alex's gaze went all over her face and she noticed the way the brown of his eyes gleamed when the lights of the house's porch hit them. She licked her lips subconsciously and, though his eyes dropped to see her plump pink mouth, he didn't close the distance.

Instead he nodded, pressing a kiss on her forehead and he mumbled, "Me too, so much." against her skin. The fact that he hadn't used this opportunity to kiss her made her thoughts tangle in confusion, she had thought that he'd be the one to make that first move considering she was the one to initiate it the last time.

Still, she let her eyes flutter close and inhale his scent, relishing in his hold and the force with which his fingers dug into her flesh like he didn't want to let go.

But he did. Leaving her exposed to the wind and her skin broke out in goosebumps when she watched him walk up and into the van, closing the door behind him.

Ella took a few steps backwards, until she stood beside Matt and Bre by the front door, and she waved them goodbye as the van started to move. She managed to see the singer blowing her a kiss through the polarized windows, her stomach flipping inside her as that familiar feeling of longing settled in her again. That same old weight on her chest that forced her to take a deep breath to be able to collect herself.

The second the vehicle was out of their sight, she turned around to look at Bre and Matt and sighed with a pout, "Well, I gotta go. I'm in work early tomorrow."

Bre whined when she said that and she hugged her so tight as she tried to convince her to stay that Ella'd had to beg Matt to save her from the model's hold. Matt hugged her just as tight but way shorter, only to bother her, before he jokingly ushered her away.

"Yeah no, off she goes. I have someone to do and many places for that to happen at."

Ella loudly gagged and flipped him off, "Disgusting!" She grabbed her keys from the back pocket of her jeans though and waved them goodbye, "Love ya'! See ya'!"

Even if she didn't want to know whatever they were going to do, she was so glad to see the couple smiling so brightly as she drove away. She lit up a cigarette, rolling down her window, to forget about how badly she missed that feeling of being madly in love—to forget about a certain person that came to her mind, and that kiss she'd wanted him to give her, only to squeeze her heart and make it ache more.

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It was merely a bit more than a week that Matt had stayed in Los Angeles, taking Breana with him to the Australia and New Zealand leg of the AM tour.

If Ella thought it had been horrendously difficult for her to keep up with Alex and the rest of the group when they were in Europe, she'd almost wanted to cry by the time half of the dates were done and she had barely spoken to him, or even Bre for that matter, a handful of times.

They'd never catch each other online, only seeing the messages each other sent hours before and it just multiplied the longing and the great feeling of the distance that separated them tenfold. It was so discouraging and to Ella it just felt like more cruel proof of why it was never gonna happen between them both. For Alex, the deep cut of his despair pushed him towards a sea of realizations that he was too afraid to navigate so he pushed the feelings to the back of his head for the time being.

Ella was following along their shows and whatever promo they were doing over on the other side of the world through Twitter, which had become her main source of updates, and that was how she'd found out Alex and Matt had spent one of their free days in between shows to go to a few radio shows.

One of them was Triple J, and she'd found a link to the full interview from some tweet going around.

With an idiotic smile on her face, Ella listened to Matt and Alex chatting to the radio host, laughing over the way Alex just let Matt take over for him and when the drummer would make him answer something, he'd purposely keep it brief and giving a 'boring answer' as he'd said himself after answering one of the questions.

After a few minutes of chat, the host introduced the acoustic version of 'Do I Wanna Know?' the lads were doing and she smiled like a fool when hearing the first strum of the guitar. She really loved this song.

Softly, she sang along, low enough to just enjoy Matt and Alex's voices. The lyrics were gorgeous and she found herself gushing over Alex's writing talent all over again. The 'darling's he sang made her tummy flutter and she felt the heat rushing to her cheeks.

When the song ended, Ella liked that they included a bit of them messing about and talking about other people's covers of the song they'd just performed, she giggled at the way Alex taunted Matt to answer for him and she wished she was there to actually ask him what he had actually thought of the Miley Cirus cover—one which she was gonna check out after she watched the next video.

The host announced a cover coming next and she was intrigued by the weird clue Matt had given the audience. It sounded like distorted audio and she was so curious to know. Though she still had a giggle at the random and funny chatter going around.

She made a mental note to ask for a 50 Cent song whenever she and the lads were out, because she gasped in surprise when Alex said he'd never experienced one of his songs in the club.

When Matt revealed it was a Tame Impala song, Ella felt her heart leap in her chest. After having a good laugh over Alex saying, "Oh my god, I've gone cross-eyed" as Matt explained all he had done to get that weird audio clip, Ella's hand started getting clammy when Alex said the song they were covering was one she knew very well because of him: 'Feels Like We Only Go Backwards'.

To the forefront of her mind came the memory of the time he had shown it to her, her heart racing again. She came back to reality when Alex said something weird and once she finally tuned in, she realized it was him saying Nick's full name backwards.

She relished in the amusement she got from the brief interaction and the proof that he was in fact saying the full name backwards correctly, but then the host transitioned that into the introduction for the cover and Ella froze in her place.

It was like she was holding her breath up until the first verse, her heart kicking faster against her ribcage like reminding her she needed to breathe.

That song had become something special for her, sometimes hurting a bit too much to hear it come on as it reminded her of the distance between them and all of her hopes dying like forgotten flowers, but hearing him singing it made something shift inside her.

The first verse felt like a shock of electricity, like she came alive by the underlying meaning behind having chosen this song. And when he sang the second one, she stupidly wondered about what it was that he did that showed he had made up his mind about her.

She felt like a fool, trying to find meaning behind a song he hadn't even written himself and then, something dawned on her.

It was like a little voice in her head was calling her a fool and shocked her alive again with the knowledge of what song had been performed before the cover and once Ella remembered the lines to the opening song of their latest record, she felt like the breath had been knocked out of her.

Hastily she went to rewind the video, only to find in the queue of the next videos just the actual video clip of them performing the song in acoustic at the radio station, so she quickly clicked on it and let it play.

Ella had never heard any song in the record thinking they were for or about her—with the exception of 'Arabella' and 'Snap Out Of It'—, but when she heard the first line to 'Do I Wanna Know?' trying to tie any meaning with herself, the first line was like being pulled out of the water after having been under for so long.

Have you got colour in your cheeks? She gasped, her shoulders hung and all she could think about was when did she not have her cheeks tinted shades of pink and red when she was around him.

'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat. She had no idea how it had flown over her head that it was those exact words he'd said to her when he made her listen to the Tame Impala song that night in Rancho de la Luna. And how she'd forgotten about the fact that she was pretty sure this song had been recorded after that night, almost by the end of their recording time.

Suddenly, the pre-chorus and the chorus felt like a knife to the heart. It had been there all along and she'd completely missed it and now she had no idea if it was too late. Was it too late? She didn't know if she could just ask that, if that would even work. And then, she wanted to cry over the fact that it would be a bit over a month until she could finally see him again.

Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so, I wanna know what time it shuts.She reckoned that meant him trying to figure out if she was open to something after going through her heartbreak, and she thought that him resorting to writing a song about it rather than actually telling her anything was exactly what he always did or so Florence said.

It made so much sense, and then Ella got curious about there being any other songs there in the record for her. She had no idea how to figure that out without reaching and turning entirely self-absorbed so to twist every line into something self-referential that wasn't at all what Alex had meant.

It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you, but I don't know if you feel the same as I do.She groaned and let her face fall on her hands and let out a pathetic squeaky cry of frustration. It took her back to the pool when he had cupped her jaw and turned her head to the side to look at him. She couldn't forget the rush she felt at the hope that sparked up her spine when he did that, the stupid hope for a kiss that never came. Not even when he left for the airport.

But we could be together if you wanted to. Her brows furrowed and she confusedly stared into her desk. Did it mean he had always left it up to her to make the next move? Did it mean he was waiting for her to say it all? She thought it was hardly fair, knowing how long it had taken her to put it all together. Hell, it had been well over a year since they had started recording the album and almost a year since they wrapped up recording and it was all ready to go.

Sighing, she let herself enjoy as much as she could there rest of the song, every line now rumbling the walls of her brain more intently and she knew she wouldn't be able to stop thinking about the meaning of it all and the what-ifs had she realized all of this before.

Once the song was done, it was a masochistic impulse that made her replay the video, only this time she focused on watching Alex as he sang. She cursed herself when she noticed the way she was gawking at Alex on the screen, her gaze going from focusing on his mouth to his hands and then taking in his whole appearance and biting her bottom lip. She had to focus on his face and what she could find shining through his face that could give her answers, and instead she was thirsting over him. As per usual.

When her second watch of the video was over, Lydia knocked on her door interrupting her train of thought, her PA's presence reminding her that she was at work and needed to get back on track.

So Ella couldn't really give into the full over-analysis of everything she wanted to keep doing, and she had to wait all the way until she left work for her to continue her horrendously confusing overthinking session.

She put on the AM cd to play in her car and tears ran down her cheeks by the time 'Arabella' came on. There were so many things she wanted to ask that she just couldn't because she wasn't brave enough to just call him and demand answers and it was frustrating.

It was beyond her understanding why she decided to even grab her phone and pull up Alex's contact to send a message that hinted at her having seen the radio show, hoping with all of her that it was enough for him to know she knew.

(08/05/2014 19:02) I'm so jealous, that beach looks wonderful sweetness!! Though I would be shitting it thinking about sharks, clearly I watch too many movies hahahah. Say hello to the guys for me, yeah? And tell Yellamo he better send me those tim tams he promised me xx

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The Cook's wedding came around rather quickly and it was quite noticeable that Ella's presence was missing that day.

Ella had been sad all morning, sulking in the provisional office they'd given her and the rest of the team in charge of the short film in Boston. Alex kept her updated by sending her loads of pictures around the venue and videos of him walking around, and he had even been begrudgingly allowed to go see the bride with Ella on facetime, she had teared up seeing Katie all done and ready in her gorgeous white gown.

Alex had been lured into staying so Ella could be part of the little toast Katie's family and friends did for her, even giving her the opportunity to partake in it and Katie blew her a kiss through the screen as a thanks for her lovely words.

When the singer went back to the groom's room, Ella congratulated Jamie profusely and wished him the best day of his life. The guitarist thanked her wholeheartedly and raised his champagne glass towards her before taking a sip in cheers to the well wishes.

Alex spared Ella from the ceremony, only texting her after Jamie and Katie walked through the aisle as newlyweds and flower petals were thrown all over them. He sent the video he'd recorded of that moment and did a funny summary for her.

(15/05/2014 12:27) Ceremony was long as always but you would've cried during the vows, I'm so sure. They were oddly emotional coming from Jamie but this might be a sign for me to have him help me write some songs now that I know he has it in him x They look good the Cooks, don't they? I hope the video of them walking down the aisle has sent xx

Ella giggled at the choice of words and she teared up a little more watching the video Alex had sent, the newlyweds were glowing and she was so fucking happy for them her heart could burst inside her chest.

(15/05/2014 12:39) They look fucking stunning!! I'm gonna cry!!!! x And stop being nasty, we shall see if your wedding vows are any better than his when the time comes, Turner x

He had no idea why the idea of his own wedding with Ella in attendance made his heart kickstart like it had been asleep, it suddenly raced in his chest and it rattled so loudly in his ears that he felt sort of lightheaded.

(15/05/2014 12:41) Are you gonna rate my vows then? xx

Alex waited for the answer as he fidgeted in his seat. The flashing image of his wedding not having Ella as a guest but as the one who'd walk up to him left him breathless and he clutched his phone tighter. This was the first time he ever thought of it and the feeling that flooded his insides was nice, warm and fuzzy and just entirely perfect.

That was when it all started dawning on him, that notion which he had been pushing away into hiding at the back of his head for so long—that was the moment it started creeping out to meet him.

(15/05/2014 12:42) I'll be front row giving you live commentary on them, with sound effects and all xx

The singer had no idea what to do with himself and the sudden void in his chest from that answer. Did she not share the vision he had? And even more importantly, was he really this despaired at the prospect of her not fantasizing about it too? He swallowed it all when Miles and Nick called out for him to join them as they were about to light the cigarettes perched between their lips, quickly typing a message to send Ella in response before hiding his phone in one of his pockets.

(15/05/2014 12:43) Of course. Best seats for you darling, if that ever happens x

Ella didn't even get the chance to see that message come through because the couple of the hour called her through Facetime. Turns out Katie had waited until after the ceremony to finally give Jamie the lovely gift she and Ella had come up with before she left LA that day. Ella quickly snuck away to the lunch area of the office that was almost empty by then since it was gonna be a short day at the office due to the next day being an early shoot, and she freely was able to enjoy the call with the couple.

"Remember how Ella said she was gonna make it up to us?" Katie almost sing-sang as she walked up to where she'd left the book which had been sent by Ella all the way from LA already wrapped up and with a cute little note.

Ella watched from where Katie had set her up how Jamie's brows furrowed in confusion at the topic being brought up, "Yeah?"

"Well it's your turn to see how that went." Katie walked gracefully up to her husband and bent over just enough to throw her arms around his shoulders and place the present on his lap, leaving a kiss on his cheek before saying, "Enjoy."

Katie straightened up with her hands still on Jamie's shoulders as he carefully undid the wrapping and the bride shared an excited look with Ella through the screen. They both returned their gazes back to the groom who was about to grace them with a million dollar reaction that Ella wished she could've recorded.

Jamie's jaw dropped when he opened the leather bound book and saw the first picture, his face lighting up in flames and turning him into a shade of red Ella had never seen on him before. His eyes were wide and his smirk grew bigger as he slowly flipped through the pages.

Ella knew exactly when he got to the more naughty ones because he had to close the book to turn around and see his wife, letting out a shaky breath that both Ella and Katie laughed over. When he opened the book again and continued looking through the last ones, he wiped his face with his hand and cursed a low, "Fucking hell." as he shifted in his seat.

"I don't think I've ever seen you this red, Cookie." Ella taunted him but he didn't budge his gaze from the book.

They watched as he couldn't help himself from going back to admire the pictures once again and when he deemed it was enough gawking for the time being, he let the book rest on the table beside him and pulled his wife swiftly on his lap to pounce on her lips.

Katie broke the hungry kiss in between giggles to ask, "Did you like it?"

And Ella chuckled when he growled and nodded, mumbling a quick, "Fucking loved it." before he leaned in to kiss his wife with desperation all over again.

Merely five seconds went by but Ella wanted to tease them for the show they were putting on so she cleared her throat dramatically loud before she said, "Right, I don't wanna be on the phone witnessing your unofficial porno." which prompted them to stop with laughter.

Ella melted when she saw them laugh against each other with the foreheads pressed together before Katie stood up and went to pick up the phone from where she'd propped it up.

The model pouted at the camera and sighed, "I wish you were here to party with us, Ellie."

And Ella matched her pout and the sadness seeped through her words as she assured, "I know but I will be in Alex's phone all night so don't worry."

Jamie came up behind Katie and rested his chin on her shoulder so he could thank Ella once more, "Thank you for that Ellie, it was a fucking perfect gift."

The giggles that came from Ella made the pair smile softly, "You're so very welcome. There's another one more PG but just as beautiful nonetheless, because it's all your gorgeous wife in that one as well."

"Oh yes!" Katie brightened up remembering that Ella also made her a book with the pictures she took of her when they did that shoot at her house, "I'll show him that one later, I left it somewhere in the house."

"Well I hope you love it just as much." Ella smiled softly and sent them a blown kiss through the screen after she added, "Have the best night guys, love you lots!"

With kisses blown from the newlyweds and lots of love sent back to her, Ella finished the call and with that she realized she could go back to her office and get her things to go back to the hotel suite she was staying at in time for Alex to call her during the peak of the party.

By the time she got back to the hotel, she walked into her hotel room to a handful of videos waiting for her in her messages. One was of Alex showing her around the place where the reception was going to be held at, there were another two which captured clips of the toasts people did for the newlyweds which ended up making Ella cry and a few more that showed the party just starting and the group throwing shots back and starting to dance.

Ella made herself a quick lunch—heating some pizza leftovers from the night before—and then she went to shower. Once she had finished blow drying her hair, she opened her messages again to a flood of videos coming from Alex, as well as a pair of missed facetime calls.

She rang him back but he didn't pick up and, from the videos she saw, she could guess that it was because of the loud music that he didn't catch her incoming calls.

About half an hour passed without any more videos and before she could text him to claim he was failing at keeping her updated, her phone rang with a facetime call from the singer.

She expected loud music so she prepared herself for the disturbance to her ears but when she accepted the call, her ears were blessed with Alex's smooth voice greeting her.

"Hi, darling. What you doing?" He instantly noticed that she was in the bathroom, wearing some flannel shorts that showed her thigh tattoo and a shirt long enough to cover most of the shorts, with some sort of mixture on her face.

She leaned into the mirror as she applied some lip balm, pressing her lips together and puckering them up before taking a step back and looking into the camera, she shrugged with a small smile on her face, "Nothing, just relaxing. How's the party going?"

"Good, good." Alex replied nonchalantly, his next words coming muffled because of him placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it up effortlessly, "Just needed a breather."

"Oh where are you?" Ella asked curiously, seeing the dangling lights behind him that let her see the ivy snaking up a brick wall.

"Having a smoke in the garden." He let out the smoke he had inhaled to continue explaining his decision to come outside, "Even though everyone being wankered already is entertaining, it's not the same without you."

Ella had to really fight against herself not to coo and pout, instead she gave him a toothy smile and a raise of her brows to taunt him, "Yeah, no one forcing you to dance, is there?"

Easily, Alex stated, "Miles is trying." and it made Ella laugh loudly.

Puffing her chest out, she smirked and shrugged before proudly saying, "Miles doesn't have you wrapped around his little finger." wiggling her little finger for the camera to further her point.

And there was no denying that, Alex showed her a loopy smile as he shook his head and agreed, "He sure doesn't."

Watching him smoke never got old, and it surely was making her get flustered but, on top of that, she could feel the taste of the nicotine on her tongue just from watching him and she whined at the craving that shook her with force, "You're making me wanna go out for a cig."

"What's stopping you?" Alex challenged her easily and she sighed.

"I'm too lazy to go outside and I have this on my face." She pointed at the drying face mask she had on, he giggled at the look of it but then noticed how bright it was in the room she was in and it definitely looked like natural lighting.

"You got back early today, huh." The few days before he had managed to sneak a quick facetime call with her, she'd still been at the new office and she would call him back way later when she was back at the hotel, and that usually was when it was about to be three in the morning for him, so he was surprised to see her back in her room when it was still bright outside.

She smiled at his smart observation and nodded, "A miracle isn't it?" She played with the ends of her hair as she explained, "We had an early day today because we have to be at the office by five tomorrow morning, we're shooting all day so we were given a long rest before that."

"All day long?" Alex raised his brows at the information.

"Mhm. We're due in set at half past five and we're not leaving until midnight probably. We have a lot of night scenes to shoot so..."

"This is the short film right?" He made sure to remember correctly, his head scrambled from the tumultuous day.

"Yep." Ella nodded proudly, she still couldn't believe she was in charge of such a big project.

Alex hummed as he took a drag of smoke, "Are there any more directors working with you?"

And once again, Ella proudly replied, "Just me. But I have the writer of the screenplay with me to make sure I follow her vision."

The smile that broke in Alex's face gleamed just as brightly as his eyes did, and she wasn't sure if it was the reflection of the screen on his eyes or the dwindling lights littered around the garden but she enjoyed it nonetheless and was filled with a warmth that she loved so much when he said, "I'm so fucking proud of you Ellie." almost breathlessly.

She couldn't help herself from smiling as big as the drying face mask allowed her, "Thank you sweetness. You're so cute." She winced and dropped her smile when the drying mask pinched on the skin of her cheek and Alex laughed noticing that.

"You look very cute right now." He teased with a smirk, though it wasn't necessarily untrue—she looked adorable and he almost wanted to sigh and swoon like an enamored idiot.

"Oh don't. I've been looking horrendous since I got here so I wanted to do a facemask." She attributed it to the change of climate, but she'd seen the tub of face mask mixture when she was walking past the aisles of the grocery store and she'd decided to buy it and see if it helped at all.

Alex, as flattering as ever, easily refuted her words, "I seriously doubt that but okay."

"Only 'cause you've not seen me in person this past week." Ella sighed, looking at herself in the mirror again and feeling ridiculous with the drying mixture on her skin, "I look rough."

"Why is it cracking?" The singer was entirely confused by the way it had changed color and it had started cracking with the pass of time.

Ella shrugged, picking up the bottle that contained the face mask mixture, "It's some sort of clay mask or something like that. I dunno." She heard him snickering then and she looked down at the screen again with a glare, "I know I look silly right now, but don't even."

Alex raised his free hand in the air to claim innocence, "What? I didn't even say anything!"

But Ella narrowed her eyes and pointed an accusing finger at him, "You were thinking it!" She called him out and his expression only grew more amused, "I know you, Turner."

There was something in him that kept sparking up, like two stones crashing and crashing and he knew that soon enough a fire would start. The sparks shot warmth up his spine already and made his head all dizzy, he doubted it was just the nicotine's effect.

"Sure, sure." He joked halfheartedly, thought his stomach flipped at the way she truly just knew him so well.

Before she could come up with another witty comment to chat back at him, she heard the familiar start of one of her favorite ABBA songs and she froze in her place for a second, holding her breath to make sure it was the one she thought and when she confirmed it by just faintly hearing the first few words, she whined loudly, "Oh stop! That's one of my favorites!"

Like it was the most logical thing to ask, she demanded, "Alex, go back inside and dance for me."

Alex looked at her through the screen and swallowed his laughter before shaking his head, "Sorry darling, I would do anything for you, just not that." It wasn't entirely a lie, but maybe if she begged a little he would rush back inside just to dance to Voulez-Vous for her on the phone.

"Why are you like this?! It's a good song!" She complained as the song started building up to the first chorus.

Alex annoyingly pointed out, "No one's stopping you from dancing to it right now." and that made her glare at him through the screen before she scrambled out of the frame to get a hand towel and wet it with warm water from the tap.

Without noticing, she started softly mumbling along the song as she focused on whipping slowly the dried mixture off her face.

He let her continue without saying a thing for a few seconds before he couldn't just not point it out so he said, "See?" and once again, earned a glare from her.

Only this time, she sang louder and danced more wholeheartedly, swaying her hips and moving her shoulders as she messily continued wiping the face mask off.

Alex smiled like an idiot at his phone, so entranced by Ella and her moves and her big smile and the way she was singing that she didn't notice someone had come outside and seen him, and was slowly approaching him in silence.

The sudden, "Al?" startled him and made him choke on the smoke he had inhaled.

He turned around coughing once before he saw who it was and he switched his pained grimace for a soft smile, "Oh, hi Alexa."

The second she heard the sudden voice, Ella stopped her loud and horrible singing and changed it to humming along with the tune and softly swaying her hips to not interrupt whatever interaction was about to happen.

The model smiled back at him and asked, "What are you doing out here alone?"

Alex lifted the half of the cigarette he had left to wordlessly tell her what he was doing, but then he turned the screen of his phone for her to see that he was in fact, "Not alone."

"Oh!" Alexa giggled, noticing the girl on Alex's phone and waved at her enthusiastically, "Hi!"

Ella looked at the screen when she heard the greeting ring through her speakers and when she saw Alex's ex on the screen, she felt so ugly with the stupid mask still on the bridge of her nose and one of her cheeks, whilst the gorgeous model looked flawless in her perfect makeup and dress.

She had never seen her before, other than the one time she googled her after the girls had told her that Alexa had been Alex's girlfriend when she met the singer, but she still felt so incredibly intimidated and an uncomfortable bitter and burning feeling settled in the pits of her chest.

Still, she put on a shy smile and waved back with a soft, "Hi!"

Alex retracted his phone after that and before he could continue speaking to Ella, Alexa asked, "Mind if I pinch one?"

Alex nodded, resting the cigarette between his lips to use the now free hand to pull out his packet and lighter and offer it to her. There was a heavy silence as Alexa picked a cigarette out and lit it up, taking a long drag and sighing in bliss. The sound of it somehow sounded louder than the music coming faintly from the party and Ella was then painfully aware that the moment she had with Alex had been cut.

So, fighting the pout that wanted to show on her face, she patted her face dry after having gotten everything off her skin and let him go, "I'll leave you to it, sweets. Enjoy yourself and keep the videos coming, please?"

Alex clearly let his sadness show with a childish pout that had Ella smiling like a fool, and she had to bite her bottom lip not to smile bigger when he sweetly replied, "Of course, darling. I'll call you later, yeah?"

"Okay sweets, it's a plan. Love you!" Ella's sweet tone rang through the speakers of his phone and Alexa couldn't help raising her brow in curiosity at the words that the unknown girl had just said.

And the model's curiosity heightened when she noticed the way Alex's cheeks had tinted pink, but it somehow was clear when she heard him say, "Love you too darling, bye!" back.

It might've been a long while since Alexa had spent time with Alex but, at the end of the day, there was a time she knew him as well as the back of her hand and so she wanted to know who it was that had stolen the singer's heart.

"Who was that?" Alexa asked genuinely curious, her voice had a timbre of amusement like she was teasing him that made Alex blush even more.

"Ella." He choked out, like a giggle was stuck in his throat. "She's uh..." He wanted to explain further because he knew Alexa could see through him at that very moment but there wasn't any other term to refer to Ella other than, "My best friend."

He wished there was more, but he couldn't just say she was the girl that plagued his dreams, or the one he wished was dragging him to the dancefloor of the party. The girl who he wanted to escape to the garden with to share a smoke and laugh about their drunk friends. The girl he wanted to take pictures and videos of all night and keep them all like a treasure in his stupid phone to watch back when he was on tour. The girl who he wished had caught the bouquet Katie threw and looked at him like it was a sign for them to share that unbreakable promise that didn't seem so scary if it was shared with her.

The fog was clearing up even more, something inside of him slowly shifting.

"Right." Alexa smirked, her voice coated in sarcasm that just told him how she didn't believe that one bit. She frowned though, noticing the way she was absent in such a big event for the group,  "Was she not invited?"

Alex took another drag before he answered, "She was. She just couldn't make it 'cos of work: she's filming this short film in Boston to submit to a film festival."

Alexa's brows shot up in wonder, "Oh so she's a filmographer?"

Alex nodded and explained further, "She's a director and photographer. Works with Ben and Aaron, they're all from Focus Creeps and the three usually record our music videos."

That's when she realized just how acquainted they must be, knowing just how many music videos the band had put out for the latest record. "Oh right, from LA then?" It was obvious that she was, the American accent giving the girl away but Alexa was nosey in a good way.

"Mhm. She's from Tennessee actually, but lives in LA." Alex felt the need to correct.

Alexa smirked once again then, coming closer to him just to nudge his hip with hers and tease, "Ooo a cowgirl."

Alex chuckled as heat traveled up to his face yet again, "A cowgirl."

"She sounds cool." Alexa said genuinely, she also looked cool with her Arctic Monkeys shirt on, that septum piercing she'd managed to notice on her and the many earrings littering her ears, as well as the tattoos on her skin.

"She really is." Alex reminisced about all that came to be Ella and he sighed. He really missed her.

When he looked down at his phone and saw the group picture that he had as a lockscreen of everyone at Glastonbury, he perked up and started chatting about her, "You should see the pictures she takes, she's fucking amazing."

All it took was Alexa saying, "Show me?" for Alex to unlock his phone and pull up Ella's instagram for Alexa to see.

The model scrolled through her Instagram page and her jaw fell the more she found. Not only did she find the pictures she'd take of landscapes and cities gorgeous, but the pictures of herself that she had posted were hot.

"Oh she's fit." Alexa concluded with a raise of her brows, as if silently congratulating Alex for being able to pull such a stunning woman.

"She's a photographer but not a model?" Alexa asked intrigued, she kept scrolling down and clicking on one that Alex knew very well: that picture of her wearing only a silver bikini and cowboy boots, leaning backwards on her forearms on her motorcycle with a cowboy hat that hid her face almost entirely, except for her agape mouth that made it look like she was moaning. "Why?! She's stunning and she already looks like one."

"I know! She should be one." Alex spoke like it brought him relief to hear someone agree with him, but he actually explained the reasoning Ella had once given him, "She doesn't enjoy being in front of the camera that much. At least not with strangers."

Alexa nodded, completely understanding the point, her gaze still caught up by the pictures on Ella's page. When she pulled one up of the girl naked and only covered by a flimsy white dress that was completely see-through under the sun in the picture, Alexa caught the singer just gawking and so she elbowed him to taunt him, "You'd like it if she was one, wouldn't you?"

Alex rolled his eyes, before shoving her playfully, "Oh shush." and Alexa laughed loudly at the way he continued to blush.

"When did you meet her?" She asked as she handed Alex his phone back.

And it was obvious how he froze in his place for a few seconds before pocketing his phone and then he warily replied, "Erm... Remember back in 2011 when me and the lads went to LA to record the Brick by Brick video?"

His ex's brows shot up when she realized it had been that long, "Ohhhh! Since then?"

"Yeah." Alex confirmed awkwardly, knowing that he had still been with her when he met Ella.

Just to mess with him, Alexa frowned and called him out in faux seriousness, "You never mentioned her." But when the model saw Alex's face fall and pale, she cackled loudly and corrected, "I'm joking!"

Still, Alex seemed like he was having a hard time even swallowing his own spit so Alexa taunted him once more but this time a bit more lightheartedly, "How many songs on the new record are about her then?"

It seemed it wasn't as lighthearted as she expected because he looked pained when she mumbled, "Alexa..." as if he was asking for mercy.

"What? I know you." Alexa shrugged, "I'll send you my guesses the next time I listen to it."

When Alex threw the bud of his cigarette to the ground and stomped on it, Alexa thought he was gonna walk out on her and leave her with an itch she couldn't scratch, so before that could even happen, she quickly blurted out, "Has she got a boyfriend?"

"No." Alex's voice was barely a whisper and if she wasn't right next to him then she wouldn't have heard him.

She cocked her head in confusion, it was clear that he fancied her so she had no idea why he hadn't made a move to get her already. "Then what's wrong?"

In total despair to be reminded of it all, Alex sighed heavily as he rubbed one of his eyes like he was tired of having to be in such a predicament, "I'm on tour."

He sounded so devastated by that simple fact that the corners of her lips fell in a pout and she side hugged him as she sadly cooed, "Awh, Al..."

It seemed like he needed the space to speak about it because, totally unprompted, Alex started talking, "She's wonderful, and I don't even think she likes me if I'm being honest. Florence says it's obvious she does but– I just don't want to fuck things up. Already did before and I'm afraid of losing her entirely if I take one wrong step."

Alexa sighed, feeling for her friend and took a few seconds to gather her thoughts to give an objective perspective on it, "If my opinion counts for anything, from just those few seconds I saw you on the phone to her, I can tell that there is certainly something there."

"Do you think?" Alex perked up at the thought. maybe if someone else could see it, especially if it was someone outside of their close group of friends, then it really meant there was a chance.

His heart leaped in his chest, and the wave of words he had been holding back for so long seemed to want to come out even if Ella wasn't there to hear. He just wanted to scream every thought that came to him about her out loud.

"Yeah, it was written all over her face." Alexa assured him with an honest smile.

Suddenly, he blurted out, "I see her again in June. We're playing in this festival in her hometown and she goes religiously every year. She cried when I told her we were in the lineup."

Alexa tried not to giggle at the sudden word vomit coming from him, and instead cooed over the fact that what he'd just said would happen, "Bless her! That's gonna be so special."

"It'll be. And I just can't wait to see her again and this time in her hometown. She came around to see us at Glasto and it was just— I can't even put into words how it felt having her here, at home, during that time. So I'm just really impatient for June and to see her in her home and just being all that she is at her core, you know?"

There was the word vomit again, Alexa hummed entirely amused by the way it was so obvious on his face, so she smirked again and decided to be more blunt about taunting him, "You really like her, don't you?"

And that was when that notion that had been creeping out of the corners of his mind jumped at him at full force, making him almost stumble in his feet. 'Like' wasn't enough to convey all that he felt when he thought of her, when she called or texted him, when he saw her in pictures, when he was able to have her in the same room as him and much less when he had her right there next to him.

I just wasn't enough and it would be unfair to downplay it, not when he ached so much to say it all to her and the first step was finally letting himself come to terms with it and god, didn't it feel freeing and like a massive weight lifting off his shoulders when he finally opened his mouth and started saying, "I think I'm–"

Alex stopped himself there, shaking his head like his thoughts had gotten blurry and it was stupid to use the words 'I think', because he was sure by then, there was no other way to describe it.

And so he said it correctly this time, "No. I am in love with her."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: It took him long enough, didn't it? What do you think will happen now that he's finally come to the realisation? I'm eager to hear your predictions heheheh. Finally being able to write that last scene was so fulfilling, I've had that planned out for so long and I'm just so excited for you all to read it!! We're so close to the end, it is actually so damn sad </3 But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one and I hope to see you soon with the next one. Sending you lots of love, have a great weekend!! xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100 @kennedy-brooke @faveficz @indierockgirrl @ladydraculasthings @moonvr @unwantedlovergirl @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn @funniestpersoninnyc @andrearroe @justacaliforniandreamer @alexturnersgf69 @yourorganiccigarette @chickenxdrum

[topguncortez]

Are You With Me? - Ch. 5

previous part | masterlist | next part

synopsis: Jake and Y/N take their kids to say goodbye to a friend, but it goes as well as one can expect. The Seresins also learn what the next course of action is for Ella's treatment.

word count: 4.1k

warnings: medical inaccuracies, childhood cancer, death, funerals, cursing, traumatic events, fighting, slut shaming, mentions of cheating.

Jake could remember the first funeral he ever went to. He was six, not much older than Ella is now, and it was for his grandfather. His mother had dressed him up in a small black suit with a burnt orange tie, a nod towards his grandfather’s beloved Texas longhorns. His mother was dressed in a black dress and had a simple strand of pearls around her neck, the same as two of his sisters. His father was dressed similarly to Jake; black suit, orange tie. 

Jake could remember walking into the church, a place he had been to a thousand times over, but now it was covered in memorial flowers and people all dressed in black. Some of the ladies wore elegant hats with lace veils over their faces. The men all seemed to have cleaned their watches and dug out their alumni rings for the occasion. Jake’s father was stopped several times in the foyer by people giving him their condolences. Jake wasn’t sure why everyone was stopping in front of a long wooden box, the women walking away with tears in their eyes. 

“Come on,” Jolene said to her children, “Let’s go say goodbye to grandpa.” 

All Jake could do was nod as Jolene led them over to the wooden box at the front of the sanctuary. Jake froze about three feet from the box, his heart beating fast in his chest at the sight in front of him. He felt his hands grow clammy as Jolene turned around to look at her son, who looked like he had seen a ghost. 

“Jake?” Jolene asked, “What’s wrong?” 

“That’s not grandpa.” Jake shook his head, pointing towards the box, “That’s not him!” 

Jolene gave Jake a said smile, crouching down in front of him, “It is grandpa, Jake. It’s grandpa’s earth body. His spirit is up in heaven with Jesus.” 

“They messed him up,” Jake whispered, “That’s not him!” 

“How about we take a look?” Jolene pleaded with her son. Jake reluctantly nodded as Jolene stood to her full height and took his hand. Slowly they walked together to stand in front of the casket. 

Jake took one look in and turned his head. The body laying in the casket looked nothing like the man he remembered. His skin was pale, almost blue and waxy. His hair looked fake and as if they used way too much hairspray to get the combover to lay flat. It all just looked wrong to Jake. It was all just wrong. 

“That’s not him,” Jake shook his head as he sat down in the front row with his mother and waited for the service to begin. The whole time Jake kept repeating in his head that the man in the box was not his grandfather. 

Ever since that moment at six years old, Jake dreaded funerals. It was horrible, but Jake did all he could to avoid going to them. Y/N practically had to drag him to Tom Kazansky’s funeral, and even then, Jake took Alex to the nursery about half way through the service. It wasn’t that Jake was scared to bare his emotions and mourn the loss of a life. It was that he hated seeing the body lying all alone in the pinewood box. He hated knowing that their body was going to stay there for the rest of eternity until they rotted away into nothing. He hated knowing that the last glimpse of your loved one was going to be when the funeral director closed the lid. 

“Dad,” Alex’s soft voice filled the room. Jake was sitting on the bed, trying to come up with an excuse to not go to this funeral, “Can you help me with my tie?” 

“Sure,” Jake nodded, sliding off the bed and kneeling in front of Alex. Y/N had gotten them both matching forest green ties, “You look good.” 

“Thank you,” Alex nodded, scrunching his nose up to push his glasses up farther. Jake couldn’t help but smile at the small movement. No one was quite sure when Alex started doing that, but it was cute, “I asked Mommy to help me but Ella is sick.” 

Jake’s smile turned into a small frown, “I know. . . how are you feeling about this?” 

It wasn’t very often that Jake got to stop and have a conversation with Alex about everything that has gone on. Sure the boy was only seven, but he still had some idea of what was going on with his sister. Y/N and Jake’s worst fear was Alex and Eli feeling ignored during all of this. They made sure at least once a week they were taking the boys out to do something fun whether that was the arcade or the park. Eli was still too little to understand anything but Alex wasn’t. 

“I’m sad that Ella is sick,” Alex shrugged, “When will she be better?” 

“I don’t know, bud,” Jake sighed, “But what about not having mommy and daddy both here?” 

“Oh,” Alex looked down at the ground, “Well, I guess I’m kind of sad about it. I wish you could both be here, but someone has to stay with Ella.” 

Jake smiled at his son. He was as selfless as his mother, always thinking of others instead of himself, “You’re a good kid, you know that,” Alex nodded his head. Jake placed a kiss on his forehead, before standing to his full height. The two of them walked down the stairs together, finding Y/N and Ella waiting for them. They both wore black dresses and pearl necklaces, only Ella had a black hat on her head to keep her warm. 

“We gotta get going,” Y/N said, standing up from the couch. The two of them loaded the kids up in the car, but Jake hesitated once he shut the car door, “What is it?” 

“Do we both need to go?” Jake looked over at Y/N, “I can stay and watch-” 

“Eli is with Rooster, and yes,” Y/N nodded, “We both need to go. Miranda and Dominick became our friends and we need to support them. . . this could’ve been us.” 

Jake clenched his jaw and nodded. Y/N climbed into the truck without another word, and Jake followed. When they arrived at the church, Jake helped Y/N out of the truck, trying to put on a show of solidarity in front of the other couples from the hospital. Rumors had flown since their spat in the hallway, and most of the parents were ‘Team Y/N’. Y/N didn’t bother saying anything to Jake as she opened the door for the kids and took each of their hands in hers, forcing Jake to walk behind them. 

The vestibule of the church was exactly like Jake could remember the one his grandfather’s funeral was in. People dressed in black, flowers all over, pictures and videos of the deceased being played but no one paid any attention to. Y/N signed the guest book for all four of them, taking a bulletin before making her way into the sanctuary. 

“Remember what we talked about?” Y/N turned towards her kids, “We’re going to walk past Sammy’s body and-“ 

“No!” Ella cried, “I don’t wanna see him!” 

“Ella,” Y/N said quietly, “You don’t have to see Sammy, but we have to walk-” 

“No!” Ella shook her head, Jake placed a hand on her shoulder, hoping to soothe her, “I don’t wanna!” 

 Y/N could feel all eyes being turned towards them and it made her skin heat up, “Baby, we have to walk by-“ 

“No!” Ella’s lip quivered as tears began to spill down her cheeks. Sobs racked her body as she hid her face in her hands, “I don’t wanna see him!” 

Jake picked her up, setting her on his hip, “It’s okay. You don’t have to.” 

“That’s not him!” Ella turned and hid her face into her father’s neck. Y/N felt out of options as Jake gave her a pleading look. She glanced around, noticing the stares and the looks they were gaining. 

“Okay,” She sighed in defeat, “We’ll go.” Jake nodded his head, and turned on his heel, taking his sobbing child out of the church. Y/N looked over to where Miranda and Dominick stood, giving them an apologetic look before following her family. She sighed as she climbed into the truck, leaning back into her seat. She glanced at her children through the rearview mirror; Alex staring at the raindrops sliding down the window and Ella with tears running down her cheeks. 

— — — 

Six weeks. 

It had been six weeks to the day since Y/N made the dumb mistake of falling into bed with her ex-husband. She had never been the one for casual hookups. Jake was her first everything and the most she ever let Miles do to her was go down on her. She had promised herself that she wasn’t going to be a woman who hooks up with her ex-husband out of convenience, but here she was, hooking up with her ex-husband out of convenience and currently watching him as he blatantly flirted with Becky, one of the mom’s in the therapy group. 

The styrofoam cup in Y/N’s hand was hot as she stared daggers at the blonde man, who was turning on his charm as he talked to Becky. The smile. The chuckle. The head tilt. The gentle hand on her arm when he walked away. It all angered Y/N. 

Hell, what didn’t anger Y/N these days. 

“Hey,” Jake said as he sauntered up to you, grabbing one of the glazed donuts on the table. 

‘Fuck you for eating that donut’ Y/N thought. She had always been amazed at Jake’s body and how he was able to eat nearly anything and everything he wanted. But now, it annoyed her. The stress from taking care of her sick child, her poorly timed eating schedule and not being able to go to the gym had their effects on Y/N and she had gained some weight. She hated looking at herself in the mirror and hated even more when Jake would sit and make sure she ate something substantial. 

“Hello?” Jake swiped his hand in front of his wife, earning him a glare. 

“Don’t wave your hand in my face,” She snapped. 

“I’m sorry,” Jake apologized, “What’s going on? You seem out of it.” 

Y/N pursed her lips, debating on saying something or biting her tongue, “Becky got a boob job last summer with her divorce settlement.” Jake’s eyebrows furrowed as he looked at her, “You like natural so I thought I’d give you a heads up.” She simply shrugged and walked away to find a chair in the center circle. 

Another thing Y/N didn’t want to say out loud was how much therapy had actually been helping her. She hadn’t said anything more than the bare minimum; who she was, what her child was diagnosed with, what the prognosis is, and a weekly update on how her child is doing. It was nothing more and nothing less than that every meeting. But Y/N did enjoy the adult interaction for an hour twice a week. She didn’t realize how much she missed being around people her own age, even if she couldn’t remember half the names of the people in the group. Jake had attended every meeting with her, sitting next to her and silently supporting her when she gave her opening statement. 

Jake sat down in his usual chair, in the middle of Y/N and Marjorie, the elderly lady who ran the therapy group. She reminded him of his grandmother, permed gray hair, bright pink lipstick on her lips, and she smelled like cherries and vanilla. She also had the slightest southern twang which Jake appreciated from time to time. Marjorie always had a large, leatherbound journal with her at every meeting which confused Jake. He never saw her take any notes, never saw her turn any pages. But the book was in her lap, open to some page at every meeting. 

“Good morning my beautiful caretakers,” Marjorie said, gathering the attention of the group. Y/N fought hard to not roll her eyes at the usual greeting, “Let us start with our daily openings. Jacob, how about you start?” 

“Oh, I’d love to, Marjorie,” Jake smiled at her and Y/N did, in fact, roll her eyes this time. 

Therapy droned on for another hour, as Y/N pretty much blocked out everything that anyone was saying. It was all the same, week after week. But what wasn’t the same, was the two open chairs next to her. It pained her as she glanced over to where Miranda and Dominick had sat just a few weeks ago. No one knew that Sammy had gotten so sick and was circling the drain. Miranda had sat there and told the group that Sammy was still fighting hard, that he was still continuing his treatment with a smile on his face. No one knew that in a few short days, Sammy would pass away in front of his parents. 

Y/N picked up her head and looked at the group of parents and guardians in front of her. She wondered how many of them were saying that their children were still strong and fighting when in reality, the grim reaper was knocking on their door. A sick feeling rose in her belly. The same sick feeling she had been feeling for the past week. 

“I know he’s going to keep-“ 

Y/N stood up quickly, cutting off Becky, who glared at her, “I’m sorry.” She muttered, turning for the door of the meeting room. She tried her best not to break out into a run, but she moved as quick as she possibly could. 

Jake’s eyebrows furrowed as he watched her retreating form scamper out of the room like a fire was lit under her ass. He turned his head back towards Becky, watching as the crocodile tears streamed down her face. Sure, Jake felt bad her son had cancer, but he’s also been in remission for six weeks now and yet, Becky still comes in to hit on the dads. 

Yes, Jake is well aware that Becky flirts with him at any given chance. And yes, he knows that Y/N is jealous of that. Y/N has always been the type to wear her emotions on her face, and Jake can feel the daggers that she glares into his spine whenever he talks to Becky. He should tell her that there’s nothing to be jealous of, that she’s the only one he wants. But Jake is a guy. And sometimes those male like tendencies take over, especially when it comes to one Y/N Seresin. He never knew she could be so possessive and kinky until about six weeks ago. He swore that they’ve been having the best sex they’ve ever had. 

Y/N had returned by the time the meeting had concluded. Her eyes and nose were red, as if she had been crying. Jake’s green eyes tracked her as she moved around the room, going straight for the coffee pot. All the alarm bells were going off in his head, and his body moved without second thought. She had barely set the coffee pot down when Jake grabbed her elbow, dragging her away. 

“Hey! Let me go!” Y/N protested, pulling her arm free, “You heathen. I can walk on my own-“ 

“Are you pregnant?” 

It took Y/N a moment, as the words that left Jake’s mouth registered in her mind, “No. I’m not pregnant, you twat,” Jake felt the tension in his body relax for a moment, “I know I have gained weight, but I don’t need you pointing that out.” 

“Wait, no,” Jake shook his head, “I wasn’t pointing out that you gained weight, which, you look fantastic,” She scoffed, “It’s just that you’re drinking coffee and you never do unless you’re-” He gestured towards her stomach. 

“I’m not pregnant,” Y/N stated again, shoving the cup in his hand, “I’m going to check on Ella.” 

Y/N tried her best to keep her face neutral until she got into the elevator, her body nearly collapsing against the metal wall. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she reached into her pocket, pulling her phone out and looking at her calendar. The bright red circle around the date was almost mocking her as she breath caught in her throat. 

“No way,” She shook her head, “No fucking way.”

— — — 

“Take a deep breath. You’re okay,” The nurse spoke calmly as she ran her hand over Ella’s back, holding the oxygen mask to her face. It was the third time in the past week that Ella has had these attacks where she can’t breathe. 

“I can’t- I can’t,” Ella gasped, her big green eyes frantically looking around the room.

Y/N quickly moved towards her, sitting on the edge of the bed, “You can. Take a deep breath, Ella.” Ella sucked in as deep of a breath as her little lungs could, which resulted in her coughing. Y/N closed her eyes, trying to hold back tears as her daughter coughed and gasped for air. 

“Y/N,” the nurse said to her, “Why don’t you go get some air. I got this.” 

Every fiber of her being was telling her to stay by Ella’s side, but she couldn’t watch for any longer. Ella looked up at her mom, giving her hand a light squeeze as if to tell her it was alright. The familiar burn of tears clogged her throat as she stood up from the bed. 

“Thank you,” Her voice was barely a whisper as she quickly made her exit out of the room. 

Y/N let out a sigh as she walked down the hallway, clenching and unclenching her shaky fists. The familiar grip of anxiety held her heart as stopped at the nurses’ station, placing her elbows on the counter and running her hands through her hair. Y/N couldn’t decide what was worse, watching her child get so violently ill that the blood vessels in her face broke or watching her gasp for precious air. She determined that both of them sucked. 

“Y/N,” Miles' voice sounded out. She looked up at him, expecting to see that warm, comforting smile, but instead was met with a grim look, “Doctor Thomas and I need to talk to you. . . both of you.” 

Jake had started to hate this office. He hated the bright posters on the wall and the stuffed animals on the couch behind him. As much as this office was trying to be a bright, cheerful place, it brought nothing but heartache and pain. The tension was thick as the two of them were trying to wrap their heads around what Doctor Thomas had just said. Jake’s eyes flitted over to Y/N who was staring at something on the desk in front of her. He so badly wanted to reach out and grab her hand. 

“The transplant list?” Her voice sounded out, sounding weak and farther away than the seat next to him, “She. . . you’re putting her on the transplant list?” 

Miles licked his lips before answering, “We think it’s the best course of action.” 

“What about the lobectomy?”

“The cancer will just come back,” Doctor Thomas said, “The only guaranteed way that the cancer will go away and stay away is if we do this transplant.” 

Y/N shook her head, trying to grasp what was really going on. She had called Jake almost as soon as Miles said he needed to talk to them both. Jake had left base like a bat out of hell, getting to the hospital in an amount of time that could only be done by speeding. They knew that one of the treatment options would have to be removing a portion of Ella’s lung. Y/N hated the idea of her child going under the knife to remove a portion of herself. 

“How long?” Y/N looked up at Miles, “How long do you think she’ll have to wait?” 

Both Miles and Doctor Thomas shifted in their seats. 

“Pediatric lungs are hard to come by,” Doctor Thomas spoke softly, “Finding a match can be even harder. It could be six weeks, could be six months. We don’t-” 

“Oh god,” Y/N closed her eyes, a sick feeling sinking her stomach, “We have to wait for another child to-” 

“Donor,” Doctor Thomas said, “We have to wait for a donor.” 

“A child,” Y/N snapped her eyes open and glared at the blonde woman in front of her, “We have to wait for another child to die to save our child.” 

“Well, if you think about it that-” 

“There is no other way to think about it!” Y/N’s knuckles turned white as she gripped the arms of the chair, “The only way our child can live is if another child dies!” 

Doctor Thomas looked over towards Jake, “I think it’s best if we-” 

“Don’t look at him,” Y/N sneered, “You are talking to me. There has to be another way. There has to be. . . Miles,” Y/N gave him a pleading look. 

“I’m sorry,” Miles said sincerely, “We have discussed this at length, getting second opinions from our pulmonary specialists and transplant specialists, we think this is the best course of action.” 

The office was quiet, as the words seemed to settle over Jake and Y/N. His heart was still pounding in his ears and he wasn’t one hundred percent certain he understood what Miles and Doctor Thomas were saying. He got that Ella was sicker than they thought, and the original plan was no longer going to work. But still, Jake couldn’t really wrap his head around what was going on. 

“I know that this is hard to understand,” Doctor Thomas said, “And you’re having an emotional-” 

“Fuck you,” Y/N spat. Jake snapped his head towards his wife, “Fuck you,” She leaned forward, her eyes burning into Doctor Thomas, “You have no idea what kind of response I am having to hearing my child is dying and the only way to save her is to let another child die. You have no idea ‘cause you aren’t a mother. No,” She chuckled, “You’re just a slut who goes after married men.” 

“Y/N,” Jake finally spoke up. 

Doctor Thomas stood up from her chair. If she was insulted by Y/N’s words, she did a great job at hiding them as she rolled her shoulders back, “I think that is all for today. Miles will keep you updated on Ella’s status on the transplant list. Jake, Y/N,” Doctor Thomas nodded to them both, before she left the room. 

“I’ll let you guys have the room,” Miles said, following after Doctor Thomas. 

Silence reigned over the two of them, as Jake shifted in his chair to face his wife, “I know you’re upset, but that was uncalled for. Calling her a slut?” 

“She is,” Y/N huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. 

Jake groaned, running a hand down his face, “We were split up.” 

“We weren’t divorced yet,” She glared at him, “I atleast had the respect to wait until the ink had dried on the papers to go out and find someone. You. . . you were already chasing tail the moment I kicked you out. Hell, before I kicked you out.” 

“Okay,” Jake shook his head, “What is your fucking deal? Hm? This isn’t like you. I thought the group therapy was helping.” 

Y/N sighed, “It is.” And that was true. The group therapy was helping her mood for the most part. 

“Then what is going on?” Jake grabbed her hand, “I want to help you, but I can’t if you don’t tell me.” 

His eyes were full of sincerity and longing as he searched hers for a sign of what could be going on. Y/N used to be such an open book, but now it was getting harder and harder to read her, unless the emotion was anger. He missed the days where she would talk to him about anything and everything. It could be about something that pissed her off or something that made her smile.

Tears welled up in her eyes, as Y/N looked away from her ex. She felt stupid. She felt so incredibly stupid that this happened to her. Of all the times they had tried and tried and failed, this happened when they didn’t even want it to. 

Y/N sucked in a deep breath, “I’m late.” 

“Late?” Jake asked, confused. All she did was look at him and he realized what she was talking about, “You’re late.” He sat back in his chair, still holding her hand, “You’re late.”

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[fangirlvibez]

The Bradshaw son and Seresin daughter - part 8

Characters: Bradley Bradshaw x female!OC Madison Ella Hanscott, Son!OC Nicolas Peter Bradshaw, Jake Seresin x female!OC Quinn Kelsell, Daughter!OC Hazel Alexandra Seresin, Son!OC Benjamin Jacob Seresin, OC!Connor Malcolm Oxland

Warnings: in this chapter: none (Let me know if I forgot a warning)

Summary of the story: The 16 year old daughter of Jake Seresin gets pregnant. The dad: the 18 year old son of Bradley Bradshaw. How will the dads react to their kids becoming teen parents.

A/N: English is not my first language, so if there is any spelling or grammar errors: please let me know

Previous part - next part - masterlist

Hazel looked over at the noice, only for her to freeze this time. Quinn stood with her back to Hazel, but she can hear the shock in her voice when one word came out of her mounth: “mom?”

“Mom is that you?” Hazel asked from behind Quinn. She could hear her voice shake when she asked the question. Quinn thought about what could go around in her daughters mind. Did she still hate her after five years? Did she miss them like she missed her? She obviously missed Benjamin, she named her son after her loving brother. Quinn slowly turned her head. Out of the corner of her eye she could see her daughter. She stood there frozen as well. “Hey sweetie” Quinn said, voice as shaky as her daughters was.

Tears filled both women’s eyes. Scared tears for hearing what the other woman might say to them. Happy tears for missing an important woman in their life’s, for missing their families in general. Hazel let out a quiet sob before walking towards her mother. Before Quinn could realize what her daughter was doing, she was locked in Hazels arms. A bone crushing hug. Hazel chin was on Quinns right shoulder. Quinn slowly lifted her arms and put them around Hazels waist, tears escaping as well. “Mom, I missed you so much” “I missed you too sweetie, so much”

Quinn could see the boys sitting in the shopping cart looking confused from over Hazels shoulder. One boy hesitated before talking very quietly: “mommy? Are you okay? Are you sad?”. The boys most likely heard the sob from their mother before she went to hug the unknown woman. Both women let go off each other. Hazel let out a quiet chuckle while wiping the tears away from her cheeks and eyes. “Yes honey, mommy’s fine. These are happy tears” she explained to her sons. Both young boys nodded at their mom before turning to the other woman.

Quinn stared at the boys, now having a closer look. They were a perfect mix of both Nick and Hazel. They looked so old already. Her mind thought back to the memories she missed in their life’s. Their birth, their first giggles, their first steps, their first words, their first day in kindergarten. She missed so many important situations in their life’s, she was determined not to miss anymore.

“Mom, these are my sons” Hazel started. The young woman was looking at her sons with a small smile, love in her eyes. “This is Benji Theodore Bradshaw and this is Mac Adrian Bradshaw.” Hazel didn’t have the heart to tell her that she and Nick changed their surnames. That their kids surname was Bradfield instead of Bradshaw. If Nick was right in his suspicions that Bradley and Jake were his teachers in Top Gun, both Quinn and Madison would know that Nick had changed his surname. She would explain the thoughtprocess behind it another time.

“Boys” Hazel addressed her sons. Both boys turned their attention to their mom. “Remember the pictures your daddy and I showed you? The picture of my mommy, daddy and brother?” She asked. Both boys nodded once again. “Yes mommy, the pictures of Grammy and Pops” Benji answered.

Quinn let out a soft chuckle at the names they had gotten from their grandchildren, especially at the name for Jake. A drunken night at The Hard Deck made Jake give himself the name after Benjamin and Hazel had found a baby sea turtle at the beach during the day. The kids helped the little sea creature get back into the ocean. That evening the parents decided to go to their favorite hangout spot while their kids stayed the night at a friends house. Quinn remembers the night very vaguely but can see her husband hugging Coyote while crying. “I can’t believe they released my grandchild Coyote. My sweet little sea grandchild has left their sweet Pops” the dagger squad never let him live that name down. And now it was his name, from their very real grandchildren.

“Well, that woman over there. The woman I hugged. That is Grammy” Hazel finished her sentence. “Would you like to meet her?” She asked while looking up at her mother. Quinn hesitated before taking small steps towards the shopping cart. “Hello boys, it’s very nice to meet you” she said. The curly brown haired boys looked curiously at the woman. “Hey Grammy” one boy said before standing up in the cart and stretching out his arms, asking for a hug. The other boy smiled and give her a small wave. Quinn looked at her daughter. Hazel smiled, giving permission to Quinn for picking up her son. “Mac is the quiet one, it will take a little longer for him to be more comfortable with new people” she explains while stroking her fingers through Macs hair.

Benji was laughing in his Grammy’s arms. “Grammy, are you going to tell us the space story now?” Hazel laughed at the request before explaining the sentence to her confused looking mother. “I told them about the bedtime story you and dad made up for me and Benjamin. I tried to tell them the story but you are way better at doing that… so I told them that if we ever met you again… you would tell them the story” for the second time that day, Quinn got happy tears in her eyes. She looked into the young boy green eyes. “Of course sweetie, maybe not today, but I will tell you the story someday”

It got quiet once again. What do you talk about in this situation? They already said how much they missed each other. Should they do it again? “You look great” Quinn told her daughter. Hazel smiled and thanked her. The older of the two turned their gaze to the boys. “They look great, perfect mixture of you and Nick” Hazel smiled at the mention of her boyfriend. “Yes they are. I love the curls they received from their father” Quinn could see her daughter think about what she wanted to say or ask her. “Go ahead sweetie, what do you want to say?” “How are dad and Benjamin? I’ve talked to Benjamin by letters but I haven’t heard of him much since he left for university.”

Quinn had sat Benji back into the cart. Both kids were very behaved while the adults talked, playing with some blocks Hazel had put into the cart she picked up at the entrance of the store. “Nick is at Top Gun as well. He probably saw dad and Bradley … I hope their reunion went as good as ours.” Quinn smiled at her words. This reunion was good. They were both happy.

A message notification was heard from the back jeans pocket of Hazel. She took her phone and read the message. “I should keep going, we are having dinner with Nicks wizzo and I only have one more hour to finish everything.” She said while typing away on her phone. “Would you …” she stopped mid sentence while putting her phone away “Would you like to help me shop?” Quinn smile grew. “I would love to help you shop”. This was it. Or at least that is what Quinn thought. This was the beginning of getting her broken family back together.

Taglist: @confusedpimp @dempy @michael-loves-chickens @massivedetectivestudent @starkleila @shanimallina87 @angelbabyange @memoriesat30 @mirrorball-6 (if your username is crossed out it means I couldn’t tag you) (let me know if you want to be tagged)

[averagewriter-inthedark]

On The Floor | Mickey ‘Fanboy’ Garcia headcanon

TGM masterlist

Requested 📨 yes/no

Dancing with Mickey would look like:

Y’all are the life of the party the second the music starts blasting. Mickey’s already got his hand wrapped around your wrist, pulling you to him and giving you that goofy smile you love.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a wedding reception, crowded bar, or a military ball. You and Mickey are having an absolute blast on the floor and tearing it up like it’s a life or death mission.

Merengue. Bachata. Salsa. Cumbia. You guys know how to get the crowd hollering. Mickey spins you around to the point you lose your breath or in a fit of giggles. Lifting you up. Dipping you dramatically. He’s all suave when it comes to dancing with you and you love every minute of it.

Jake and the guys are watching, sometimes tying to copy y’all’s moves with their partners or even cutting in to steal you away from him. Phoenix loves when she gets the chance to dance with you two, sometimes Mickey will spin both of you at the same time. The guys will tease, “no fair he’s got both of them now!”

Mickey’s favorite is to dance bachata because he gets to hold you close, feel your hips against his. Yours is merengue because of how up beat it is and really makes you break a sweat. And all you can think about if that video of Cardi B yelling “who knows how to dance merengue!” People better clear the floor the moment you hear the beginning notes of “La Vaca”

Oh and if ‘Gasolina’ starts playing…it’s over. Both you and Mickey are dropping whatever is in your hands and running. Literally one time you both were talking to Bradley when the first note hit the speakers and y’all were gone in the blink of an eye, leaving the poor guy speechless.

of course you guys will just jump up and down like complete fools in your own little world while belting the lyrics at the top of your lungs. “Tenemo' tú y yo algo pendiente. Tú me debes algo y lo sabe'. Conmigo ella se pierde. No le rinde cuentas a nadie!”

“WE AT THE HOTEL, MOTEL, HOLIDAY INN!!”

“AND WE DANCED ALL NIGHT TO THE BEST SONG EVER! WE KNEW EVERY LINE NOW WE CAN’T REMEMBER!”

Whenever you go out you always make sure to wear proper dance shoes because you know you’re gonna be on the floor. Although you will be the type to dance barefoot. Even if it means dancing till the crack of dawn.

At home y’all can’t have music playing while cleaning or cooking. Why? Because you’ll be distracted immediately. It’ll start with a shimmy of the shoulders and maybe a two step in place movement. But eventually it always progresses to Mickey leading you in some dance routine y’all love to do. “Mickey, we have to clean! The team is gonna be here in two hours!” “Just one song, amor, then we’ll be productive.”

………

Tag list: @avaleineandafryingpan , @caitsymichelle13 , @poppyalice2001 , @cutelittlepotatofry , @luckyladycreator2 , @americaarse , @elenavampire21 , @back-tooo-black , @wildellaa , @artemissunn @pinkpantheris

[tgmsunmontue]

Another Time (Chapter 14/14)

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN ELEVEN TWELVE THIRTEEN

Summary: Jake wakes up in Rooster's body ~30 hours post-Mission and they have to deal with it. They're adults. Apparently.

(Posting on Tumblr, chapter a day until it's complete, after it's complete I will post it on AO3 once a day until it's completed there as well).

Odd chapter = Jake POV, Even chapter = Bradley POV

FOURTEEN

                He gets through the actual debrief in a haze, answers questions and Admiral Bates seems to take it in stride that Bradley isn’t in the right body. Maybe weirder things have fucking happened. He’d like to hear about them one day. Maverick does a lot of talking, translating for Ice. Jake corrects Mav a couple of times which had made Ice’s lip twitch in what Bradley knew was amusement. But Ice is distant, despite the hugs Bradley had felt like there were conversations that needed to happen. Apologies, as hard as they will be. And Jake uses ASL fluently, why did he never know that?

                It takes a few hours for everyone to finish, and he feels emotionally drained, wrung dry. He’s reprimanded and temporarily grounded, pending review and psych evaluation which he knows they’ll all have to get. Payback and Fanboy have been shooting him weird looks and he gets it, he’s definitely not maintaining the illusion that he’s actually Jake, so they’ll have to have that conversation as well even if this miraculously fixes itself overnight and fuck he just wishes it would but he’s not holding out hope. They have four weeks of confirmed leave, which won’t count for anything unless he’s back in his own body to enjoy it. Although he’ll be on limited duties regardless with his injury.

                Even with him in Jake’s body Phoenix reads him like a fucking book, insists on driving both him and Jake back home, Bob following in her little rental car. Javy is waiting when they pull up and he slaps Bradley on the shoulder before helping Jake out of the back of the Bronco. Bradley is suddenly immensely grateful for all of them. Even when Payback and Fanboy turn up, heckling Rooster about having off-base digs he lets himself feel… less alone. Jake is giving them the finger, telling them he hopes they aren’t fucking staying because he needs to rest. Bradley goes about changing on auto-pilot; has to stop and think about it when his jeans are too tight and Jake’s got thicker thigh muscles than him. He knew that. Well. He hadn’t, but he’d noticed. He changes into Jake’s jeans, leaves his own tank and unbuttoned shirt on top.

                “Hey man, can I have a quick word?” Javy asks, and he’s looking nervous and Bradley can’t figure out why; can’t help immediately thinking of a dozen things that could go wrong that Coyote would need to talk to him about.

                “Is Jake okay? Wait. Are you okay? Uh, I was going to, make something? For dinner?”

                “No dude. Jake might not be able to cook worth a damn, but he can order door dash like a pro. He’s already sorting something for you two. You’re dead on your feet. You need to rest as well.”

                “Uh. Thanks?”

                “Yeah, you look… not great. Also I need to tell you something.” His stomach drops. “I kind of fucked up.”

                Bradley feels on the verge of tears, wonders what the hell more can happen right now.

                “Shit. Sorry. I’m fucking this up. It’s nothing major. I was just talking to Jake’s niece, she rang me because Jake wasn’t answering, and I mentioned the busted ankle he was having checked out, and now she’s coming to visit. Tomorrow.”

                “Oh…” Of all the potential things he’d imagined this hadn’t even made it into the room. “Can’t he just call her and tell her he’s okay?”

                “Well, you can, but if Jake tried she’d know for sure something worse had happened. You two sound nothing alike. Anyway, Ella is lovely. Her flight gets in at like two in the fucking morning though, so I said I’d pick her up. Except that pretty much convinced her that you can’t drive. Jake loves his family. He’d never not pick them up…”

                “Um. Okay. This seems more of a Jake problem?”

                “Oh, he knows already. He’s messaging her, but he’s not doing his regular video messages so she’s as suspicious as hell. I just wanted to give you a heads up and apologize.”

                “Right. So. We’ll have to tell her tomorrow then,” he says, letting out a tired breath. It’s a problem for future-Bradley. And future-Jake he supposes. He wonders if they’re going to tell Fanboy and Payback, or whether the weird-as-fuck debrief tipped them off. They did do it split, which isn’t usual, but he still should have been an active part of their debrief but it would have made no sense for him to be there in Lieutenant Jake Seresin’s body.

                Nat and Bob are sitting at the dining table looking at something on Bob’s phone and when he turns back into the living room he does a double-take, because Jake has been settled on the sofa. Jake smiles and pats the empty seat beside him so Bradley just lets himself slump down, rests his head on the back of the sofa. He hums appreciatively when Jake starts running fingers through his hair, follows the whispered instruction to lie down, resting his head in Jake’s lap while he pets his hair. It’s calming in a way he hadn’t expected, and he finds himself relaxing.

                “Okay – so I thought maybe at lunch you two were a thing. How long has this been going on?”

                “Three days,” Jake says, and Bradley nods, eyes slipping closed again.

                “Bullshit. You’re wearing each other’s clothes. That’s like, months type stuff.”

                “Yeah well, our timeline got pushed up,” Jake says and Bradley smiles at the turn of phrase. Pushed up indeed.

                “Well, I guess that’s what almost dying does.”

                Silence. He tenses, doesn’t want to think about that right now, has had to think and talk about almost nothing but that all afternoon and for the last few weeks. Jakes fingers keep combing through his hair. He hears someone hit someone else, quiet-hissed recriminations and does his best to ignore it. Tries to distract his mind.

                “What food did you order?”

                “Vietnamese. No fruit in sight.”

                “You’re a fruit…” Bradley mutters, and fuck he’s tired, he’s not making any sense even to himself.

                “I’m fruit you like. Just the right firmness,” Jake says and Bradley can’t help the snort of laughter, cracks an eye open to peer up at him and he gets a grin and a wink. It makes him laugh harder and it has an edge of hysterics, like anything and everything is hilarious.

                “You two are fucking weird.”

                “You’re only just coming to this conclusion now?” Coyote asks dryly and Bradley gives him the finger, laughs more when he sees Jake doing the same thing.

                “Hey, Javy you ass. Take a photo, I need another one to send…” Jake says, and he’s tossing his phone to Coyote who catches it effortlessly.

                “Everyone say hi to Ella…”

                Coyote is clearly taking a short video, there’s a very disorganized-jumble sounding greeting and then Javy is sending it off despite Jake’s protests he wants to check it first, but then he’s too busy scrambling to make sure the phone doesn’t hit Bradley in the face when coyote chucks it back at him.

                “Right. I’m out. I just came to tell you about Ella coming. Come on you lot, let’s leave the new lovebirds to their own devices…”

                “Yeah, come on.”

                “Oh, I thought we were staying for dinner?”

                “Where are we going?”

                “Nope. Come let me beat you at darts while Hangman is out of commission.”

                “Yeah, I guess if your boyfriend almost died twice you wouldn’t want to let him out of your sight…”

                “Fucks sake man, shut up already.”

                “Yeah…”

                Part of him wants them to stay, if for nothing but the distraction value. However it hasn’t helped so far so maybe it is better that they go. He and Jake don’t talk while their friends leave; he feels like an awful host but he’s tired, hungry, and emotionally wrecked. He lets himself lie there and enjoy his hair and head being stroked, the action making him drowsy.

                “What are you doing?”

                “Just chatting with my niece. She’s asking where the fuck I got the shirt…”

                “Tell her it’s your boyfriends…”

                “Boyfriend huh?”

                “If the shoe fits…”

                “You think we’re ready for that?”

                “I don’t want to wait until I think I am.”

                “Think we might actually need legit couples therapy out the gate…”

                “Yeah… yeah.”

                “Seriously? You’d, uh, go to therapy?”

                “Yeah. I’ve been to therapy before. It can be good, if you get a good person.”

                He doesn’t add that he wants this to work with Jake. That he is more than prepared to put the effort in to make it work, for as long as Jake will have him.

                “Then I’ll let her know… trying to explain now that it’s my boyfriend’s ankle that is busted and I’m glued to your hip taking care of you. Too busy to call her.”

                “Do you want me to talk to her?”

                “Uh… You could try, but we often switch to ASL, so… we’d be found out instantly.”

                “When did you learn ASL anyway, you seem pretty… fluent?”

                “It’s my first language. I’m the only hearing person in my family. Well, I was, anyway. A couple of my nieces and nephews’ kids are hearing. I was the only one for quite a while though. Ella is hearing and she’s the oldest.”

                “Wait, when you said you saw them talking on the carrier, you literally saw them.”

                “Yep. Think they assumed it was a private conversation… Mav is not subtle.”

                Bradley laughs, but it’s accompanied by a swoop of guilt and sadness again, but then an excited spark of realizing that he’s going to be learning ASL to talk with Ice, and Jake’s family.

                “Will you teach me? ASL?”

                “Pretty sure I can find the right motivation for you darlin’… although, some of my family are actual ASL teachers, or interpreters, so…”

                “I want you to teach me.”

                “Sure thing… we got time.”

                “Yeah, we do.”

                He gets up when the food arrives, delicious smelling bahn mi filled with ginger and lemongrass chicken. Jake makes him sit opposite him and starts teaching him the alphabet and Bradley follows along easily enough, although as soon as Jake speeds up he’s lost immediately. He asks for the sign for everything, and Jake humors him. They brush their teeth side by side in the bathroom and he likes the domesticity of it. They have done everything completely backwards but it also seems to be promising something.

                They arrange themselves in bed, Bradley tucking himself in carefully behind Jake, he’d like for nothing more to be held right now but the broken ankle makes things awkward and Jake insists on cuddling, which isn’t something he would have ever thought he was into from looking at him, but he’s more than happy to oblige. They talk quietly, Jake listing all of his family again and Bradley pays more attention. Older brother and sister both in their mid-fifties. His parents in their late-seventies. His six nieces and nephews ranging from twenty-five down to twelve. Bradley makes a comment about how holidays must be noisy and Jake laughs, tells him no, because there’s not a lot of talking.

                He doesn’t remember falling asleep, but he wakes with a gasp, blood pounding in his ears, heart racing and he lets out a shaky breath, nightmare fading and reality settling back around him. He’s okay. The rehashing of missions in a debrief always seem to put his brain into overdrive, and obviously today? Yesterday? It was no exception. He’s shifted away from Jake in his sleep and he stretches, winces at the flare of discomfit. It sends a flash of awareness through him though and he swallows roughly, suddenly nervous. He reaches for his face in the dark and almost sobs with relief at the feel of his own features under his fingertips, moustache and scars easily identifiable as his and his alone.

                He reaches out and feels the warm body of Jake and then he feels him have a full body jolt and he realizes that he’s maybe having a nightmare too.

                “Hey… hey Jake… wake up…”

                “Fucking… wha?”

                “You were having a nightmare…”

                “Shit. Sorry…”

                “Don’t ever apologize for that. But also…” Bradley pauses then, wonders how to tell him that they’ve changed back. Jake’s still half-asleep and part of him is terrified that if they fall asleep again this part will all be a dream. He reaches for Jake’s hand and brings it to his face, presses his fingertips to the scars on his cheek before dragging them across to his moustache and he grins, pokes his tongue out and licks before deciding to suck a single finger into his mouth. Might as well go for broke.

                “Holy shit, we’re… back.”

                “We sure are.”

THE END

Author's note:

This marks two weeks of being 'in' the TGM fandom (other than just commenting on fanfic when I can). I re-wrote the last chapter, because this entire fic has been a practice for me to get back into writing regularly again.

There are parts I wrote which have been removed:

I removed the explicit stuff from the last chapter. It got too big, but more importantly (for me) was that it didn't fit right for me in terms of their emotional upheaval.

Bob’s utter disgust with them (the following day) at their complete lack of scientific approach to figuring out how to switch back.

Bradley and the mending of his relationship with Maverick and Ice.

Bradley being dragged off to Texas (?) – nothing like full-immersion to learn a new language.

Other firsts… (I was basically just practicing writing PWP again it didn’t fit with their development to just jump right into it (in this particular case *cough cough*).)

On the subject of using ASL in my fic:

I do not use ASL personally (I'm not American, for a start). However I do use NZSL (it's my third language). However there will be differences in Deaf culture - I am only aware of Deaf culture in my own country. (I am not Deaf, however I am HoH*and am ~5 years off needing a hearing aid or using NZSL full-time - hence learning to use it for nearly 20 years).

Genuinely open to chatting with people about Deaf culture and using SL in fics.

*HoH = hard of hearing

(NZSL = New Zealand Sign Language, and my second language is Swedish for those who are wondering. I was born and raised in New Zealand but lived in Sweden for an exchange and still try and speak Swedish as often as I can, but I would say I used NZSL more regularly).

[ereardon]

Snowed In || Friday [Jake Seresin x OC]

A Jake Seresin AU miniseries

Summary: When a massive storm shutters every airport in New York, you receive an unexpected call. Jake Seresin, the ex-boyfriend of your college roommate, is stranded at JFK with nowhere to go. Somehow you find yourself hosting Jake for a long weekend in your studio apartment. What happens when you realize that maybe your long-standing hatred for him was covering up something else? 

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x OC [Ella Finnley]

Trope: Forced proximity; enemies to lovers

Warnings: Cursing, references to cheating, eventual smut

Wordcount: 3.2K 

Masterlist here

“And this just in. More than a foot of snow is expected in areas across the Tri-State, with Scarsdale already at seven inches and counting. LaGuardia has shut down their runway, with Newark and John F Kennedy airport soon to follow.” 

You groaned, flicking off the TV and opening the cabinets. They were predicting the worst storm in two decades and somehow all you had in the cupboard was a lifetime supply of ramen noodles and red wine. 

Outside, the snow was falling in soft clumps. You looked out the window which overlooked Fifth Avenue. Very few cars or taxis were on the road, and the people who were outside looked miserable. 

And then the phone rang. You dove for it, expected it to be your mom with yet another tidbit of news that she thought was groundbreaking, as if you didn’t already know that Diet Coke was bad for you, but the male voice on the other end startled you. 

“Ella?” 

You squinted, pulling the phone back and registering the caller ID. Jake Seresin. You groaned. “What could you possibly want, Jake?” 

“Nice to hear from you, too,” he replied and you rolled your eyes. It had been a decade since you last heard from Jake Seresin. He was just as obnoxious as you remembered. 

“Listen, Seresin, if you called just to give me shit, I didn’t need a reminder that you’re a dick. Memory serves well enough. Goodbye.” 

“El, wait!” 

You frowned. “What?” 

His voice softened. “I’m sorry to do this,” he said and you felt your stomach tightening. “But you’re the only person I know in the city.” Jake paused. “I’m stuck at JFK.” 

“Don’t eat the egg sandwich,” you said, recalling a moldy sandwich you had gotten once at the airport on the way to Berlin. “Have a good flight, Jake.” 

“Ella, I’m stranded,” he said and you groaned. “Can I stay with you? Just until the airports open back up.” 

You looked outside. In the two minutes since Jake had called, snow had started to fall faster, coating the streets and sidewalks and innocent pedestrians. 

“I’m sorry,” he said and for perhaps the first time that you had known him in almost fifteen years, Jake Seresin sounded genuine. “I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t my only option.” 

Jake Seresin. The last time you had seen him, he was standing in the doorway of your college apartment with a bouquet of flowers that Suzannah had grabbed and trampled on in fury. 

“Ella? Are you still there?” 

“Fine,” you said, surprising even yourself. “Fifth and 12th Street. Apartment 4B.” 

“I owe you, El.” 

“Two days, Seresin,” you replied. “Anything more and you get a hotel.” 

“I’ll see you soon.”

***

You had hated Jake Seresin for as long as you could remember. Or at least, since the first time you saw his smug face in a poli sci lecture. He was sitting in the back, drinking a cup of coffee and doodling on a notebook. At the end of class, he had come right up to you and asked if he could copy your notes. When you said no, asking why he hadn’t taken his own notes, he had called you sweetheart and shot his best grin. 

You turned on your heel and walked away. 

Two years later, your roommate Suzannah has been stupid enough to fall for his charm, and you were treated to the unfortunate experience of having to listen to the two of them having sex behind the thin walls of your apartment. More than once you had stumbled into a shirtless Jake in the bathroom, smelling like sex and acidic cologne. Once he had walked in on you naked and instead of hurrying out like a normal person, he had leered. 

You had doubled down on your hatred for him from that moment on. 

When the doorbell buzzed you sighed, peering at the small ring camera before pressing the buzzer. “Come up.” 

The minute between buzzing him in and Jake knocking on the door felt like a century. It always did. There was something so awkward about shuffling around, waiting for the door but not wanting to be too eager to open it when the knock finally came. 

Taking a deep breath, you swung the door open. 

Jake Seresin in the flesh. The same goofy, brilliant grin from a decade before. Sandy blond hair dotted with melting snowflakes, cheeks ruddy and pink from the cold. He wore a light jacket, far too light for the extreme weather, and held a duffle bag in one hand, cowboy boots soggy and wet, dripping on your doormat. 

“Jake.” 

He smiled, leaning in for a hug and you pulled back at the last second so he stumbled over the threshold. Jake righted himself. “Ella. Still hate me, I see.” 

You turned, shaking your head. The sound of the door closing was followed by the plop of Jake’s bag on the ground. “Shoes off,” you called out, and there was a clattering as he kicked off his boots. 

Jake appeared a moment later, his jacket removed, revealing a tight henley shirt and a pair of jeans. He took a look around the studio. It was surprisingly large, for New York standards. Not Sex and the City unrealistic, but nice, with an alcove to the right that held your queen sized bed, a large couch against one wall and a dining area in the center. 

The galley kitchen off the main hallway was large and the bathroom was relatively spacious for a studio. It had just been you for so long that you didn’t think twice about the size. But something about Jake in your space made you realize maybe it wasn’t as spacious as it looked to your smaller frame. He hulked in the hallway. 

“Nice place,” he said. “Been here long?” 

“Four years.” 

He tipped his head. “Always knew you were going to end up in New York, didn’t you?” 

You sighed, plopping down on one end of the couch, crossing one leg over the other. “What are you doing here, Seresin?” 

“I told you, I was stranded at the airport,” Jake replied, stepping forward and taking a seat on the chair opposite of the couch. You grimaced. His outdoor pants were touching your indoor furniture. That was the downside of having guests. If Jake could even be considered a guest. Don’t guests have to be invited? Or wanted. 

“On your way to where? Somewhere without extradition laws?” 

Jake rolled his eyes. “Ten years, Finn. Ten years and you haven’t changed.” 

“Have you?”

The words clung to the air. The elephant in the room. It didn’t matter that it had been nearly a decade since the last time you had seen Jake Seresin. 

His betrayal still stung, even if it had never been directed at you. 

“Ella,” he whispered. Outside, the sky was darkening. Without the constant bumper-to-bumper traffic that was a given on Fifth Ave, the street was uncomfortably dark. There was a dampness that chilled your bones, even from the comfort of being inside. “Please. Can we just put aside the past for the next few days?” He looked older. Small lines at the corners of his eyes. Jake Seresin had a loud, boisterous laugh, you remembered that about him. The way he could liven up a party. The way he could make you feel like you were the only person in the room. 

This time you were. 

He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Finn?” he said, bringing back your nickname from college. “Truce?” 

You leaned back against the soft white couch cushion. “Fine.” 

Jake grinned. It was magnetic and you hated him for it. “Well, let’s celebrate then. Got anything to drink?” 

“Been here one minute and you need a drink already?” you asked, standing up. Jake’s eyes roamed over your leggings and sweater as you made your way into the kitchen, emerging a moment later with a bottle of wine and two glasses. “Someone never got over their frat days I see.” 

Jake reached out, taking the bottle from your hands and turning it on its side. “You must be doing OK,” he said. “This is a one hundred dollar bottle of wine.” You handed him the wine opener and he undid the top easily, sliding out the cork and laying it on a stack of magazines on the marble coffee table. 

“Anything is better than that Franzia shit you used to love.” 

Jake ignored your comment, instead turning the bottle and reading the label. “I did a wine tour in Lebanon a few years ago. This was one of my favorite vineyards.”

You frowned, holding out a glass and he tipped the neck of the bottle against the thin rim, dribbling it into your glass. “So did I. That’s where I got that bottle.” You pointed to the 2015 Chateau Musar in his hand. 

“What were you doing in Lebanon?” 

“Writing a story,” you replied. “What about you?” 

“Went with a friend,” Jake said. “We met in Portugul and decided fuck it, let’s go to Lebanon.” 

“Still wildly dependable I see.” 

“I have a job, Ella. I’m an adult.” 

You laughed, tugging your knees to your chest. “Oh yeah?” 

Jake nodded, setting the bottle of wine down. You let your eyes roam over his fancy jeans, cashmere socks, shiny watch that you hadn’t noticed before. Maybe he wasn’t lying. Maybe he was doing OK for himself. 

“Fine,” you said, taking a sip of your wine. “You have a job. Slow clap. Who doesn’t?” 

Jake shook his head. “Still bitter,” he replied, tilting his glass to his lips. “Whatever happened to you and Connor Gray?” 

“Oh God,” you muttered. “Fuck no. Do you know what he’s doing now? He’s a fucking DJ in Bushwick.” You mimed gagging. “I’d rather eat my left foot than date some Chelsea-boot-wearing guy who drinks craft beer and tries to serenade me on a hot rooftop in Brooklyn on his shitty guitar.” 

Jake tipped his head back with a laugh. It filled the room. You had almost forgotten how boisterous his laugh could be. 

“What about you?” you asked. “Any poor unsuspecting women?” There was no ring on his finger, no tan line or dent to show that perhaps he was divorced instead. 

“Nope.” Jake put his glass down. “Single.”

“Really? Jake Seresin, single.” 

“It’s hard out there, Finn,” he said, his voice hitting a register you couldn’t quite place. Something between sadness and begging for understanding. 

“You were never without a date to a formal in college. Couldn’t even go out without girls throwing themselves at you.” You shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t think the player in you would just shrivel up and die the minute we hit thirty.” 

“I’m still twenty nine,” Jake corrected. “And I don’t know what to tell you, El. It was fun for a while. But then I started to feel kind of gross. Like Leo DiCaprio. A new girl all the time. I couldn’t go to a single wedding without people asking about the girl who I had brought to the last one. But she was long gone.” He paused. “Couldn’t tell you the last time I saw the same girl for more than a month or three dates.”  

You frowned. Jake Seresin, a reformed manwhore? Not possible. 

He shrugged. “There, is that my dues for the night? Told you my dating life so now you owe me shelter from the storm?” 

“For now,” you said, standing up. “Interrogation can resume later. I’m hungry.” 

“Then let’s eat.” Jake looked outside. “It’s pretty shit out.” 

“Agreed.”

“What do you have for food?” 

You winced. “Honestly? I mostly eat out, so not much.” 

Jake stood up, brushing past you so closely you could feel his broad chest press against you for a second on his way toward the kitchen. “I’ll figure something out. You relax.” 

“Relax? With you in my apartment? Fat chance, Seresin.” 

He rolled his eyes. “Going to be a long weekend, isn’t it, Finn?” 

***

Jake somehow managed to make a perfectly edible dinner out of the almost-expired food in your fridge and what was left in the pantry. The two of you sat at the small two-person table you had pressed against one set of windows overlooking Fifth Ave. 

Anyone looking in might think it was a date. Even though Jake had dated Suzannah for almost a year, you two had barely spent any alone time together. That’s how you always tried to keep it with your friends’ significant others. A simple conversation here and there, usually while your friend was showering or getting ready or coming back from the store. 

Never like this. 

After dinner, Jake insisted on cleaning. As if it would make up for the countless times he had left shit in your apartment sink in college. You stood at the window, watching the snow pummel from the sky, coating the street in a thick blanket that it couldn’t shake. There was no one outside walking around. It felt apocalyptic and you cringed knowing that you still had at least a day alone with Jake and nothing to do but be in each other’s presence. 

“It’s dark in here,” Jake said, startling you. You turned as he reached for the overhead light. 

“Stop,” you said and he froze. “Lamps, dumbass. Why do men always want to use ceiling lights? Do you like being bathed in fluorescent light?” You strode over to the dresser along one wall, flicking on a candle warmer lamp and another small lamp on the far side of the room. Warm light spilled out into the room. 

“Does it matter?” Jake asked. 

“Yes.” 

Jake shook his head. “Alright, Finn. I’m all yours. What do you want to do?” 

“You mean other than throw you out in the snow on your ass?” 

Jake stepped closer. “Am I really that bad?” he whispered. 

You looked up. Clear green eyes, perfect almond tanned skin. Hair swept back in a carefree manner. You could tell why Suzannah has lost her fucking mind over him all those years ago. He really was too pretty to be true. “Maybe.” 

Jake looked around. “Well I would say I can get out of your hair for a few hours, but there’s not really many options.” He was right. Minus the alcove where your bed sat, the apartment was a pretty open floor plan. 

“Let’s just watch TV and watch the minutes tick by on the longest day known to mankind.” 

Reluctantly, you settled down onto the couch and flipped on the TV. After scrolling for a solid five minutes, Jake groaned. 

“What, Seresin?” you demanded. 

“Take longer,” he complained. 

“Fine, you do it.” You shoved the remote into his chest, trying to ignore how nice his chest felt beneath his shirt. 

Jake took the clicker and flicked through the apps before settling on a movie. 

“No,” you argued. 

He turned to you with a grin. “It’s a guilty pleasure. Humor me, Finn.” 

You grimaced as Twilight started. Jake laughed his way through the serious parts of the movie, cackling out loud at the spider monkey bit and you found yourself laughing along next to him. God, Carlisle really was hot. So was Charlie. That’s how you knew you were almost thirty. 

By the end of the movie, the two of you had shifted comfortably on the couch. You were no longer three feet apart. Instead, your feet were crossed over each other, almost precariously touching Jake’s where they sat propped up on the coffee table. 

It was the first time in years that you could remember sitting through an entire movie without some guy trying to feel you up or make a movie. 

The credits started to roll and you reached for the remote just as Jake did. You pulled your hand back like it was on fire and he handed it to you. “Sorry,” Jake said softly. His voice had grown huskier in the hour and a half since the movie started. “Your TV. Your remote.” 

“It’s fine,” you said and it was gentle. He smiled. There was something devilish about Jake Seresin’s smile. It was too perfect. You cleared your throat. “I, um, should get to bed

“Me too.” 

You stood up, clicking off the TV. The room felt darker without it, just the soft lamps illuminating small circles of light. “I’m going to shower. I’ll get you some blankets and pillows. The couch should be big enough for you.” 

“Thanks, El.” There was something so genuine about the way he said it that threw you off. Who was this stranger and what had he done with the dickwad from Stanford? “For letting me stay.” 

“See how much you like me after a night of sleeping on that,” you replied, digging in the closet near the hallway for pillows and a comforter, dumping them in Jake’s arms. “Do you, um, need to use the bathroom first?” 

“I’ll go after you.” 

In the shower, you were acutely aware that no more than twenty feet away, Jake Seresin was fiddling around in your apartment. You had spent hundreds and hundreds of hours with him at Stanford, but this was different and you both knew it. When you entered the living room, steam pummeling out of the bathroom door, Jake looked up from where he stood shirtless in the living room. “Oh, God!” you exclaimed, holding one hand up to your face. “What the fuck?” 

“Fuck, fuck, sorry!” Jake grabbed for his t-shirt on the couch, tugging it on. “OK, you’re safe. All clear.” 

“This isn’t Barcelona, Seresin,” you complained, stepping toward the dresser and sliding open a drawer, pulling out a pair of silk pajamas. “Or a rave in someone’s basement.” 

He sat down on the edge of the couch cushion. “Been that long since you’ve seen a shirtless guy, huh, El?” 

You hated that he was right. “Fuck off.” 

Jake chuckled. “Sorry, couldn’t help it.” 

“Maybe that’s why no girl wants to date you for more than a week,” you snapped. “Because you’re a dick.” 

Silence hung in the air, thick like the snow clumping on the streets outside the window. You held your breath, letting your lungs sit there and burn. Jake’s eyes haunted yours. 

You felt bad. Never had you ever expected to feel bad for Jake Seresin. Golden boy. Womanizer. Player extraordinaire. But this was obviously a sore spot and you knew it. 

He looked sad, sitting in your apartment living room in the near-dark, face drawn and quiet. An unease squeezed at your stomach. 

“Jake, I–”

Jake stood, cutting you off. “It’s fine. I’m going to use the bathroom if that’s OK.” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

You watched his frame disappear down the hallway, rounding the corner into the subway tiled bathroom. As you sat down in your silk robe at the edge of your bed, the silence in the apartment, usually so comforting as an alternative to the bustle of the city outside, felt stifling. When Jake returned in the dark, flicking off the final light and settling onto the couch, you held your breath, waiting for him to say something. 

But nothing ever came. The two of you laid there, ten feet apart, separated by a wall of silence. 

You had spent ten years who knows how many miles away from Jake Seresin and never given him another thought. Why was it that ten feet now felt like a lap around the equator? 

The chill in the room wasn’t in your head and it wasn’t from the blizzard outside. You and Jake had created frost all on your own. 

Tag list [using my list from The Off-Season since it's my most up-to-date Jake list but if you're not interested in these types of fics just let me know!):

@double-j @topguncultleader @momc95 @hangmandruigandmav

@teacupsandtopgun @xomrsalliej4787xo @xoxabs88xox @blue-aconite @seresinhangmanjake @eminyourjeans @shawnsblue @babyminghao @sadpetalsstuff @angelbabyange @taytaylala12 @wkndwlff @mygyn @oneelleandaneye @averyhotchner @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @rxmtoon @valkyrja-siren-blog @horseshoegirl @abaker74 @clancycucumber230 @theharddeck @redbarn1995 @shanimallina87

@memeorydotcom @joaquinwhorres @bobfloydsbabe @gretagerwigsmuse @djs8891

@blackcatdhisgf @fangirlvoice @buckysteveloki-me  @eli2447 @bellaireland1981 

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

In The Present

Summary- 1.3k Curtis Everett x Honey. You can't help but compare your current situation with a similar one in the past.

Warnings- Jake is an absolutely abusive asshole.

A/N- Me dabbling tonight, I just love seeing where Honey came from to where she is now. What having a decent partner will do for you.

Life Is Short So Make It Sweet Masterlist.

“Seriously Y/N, I asked for this to be classy tonight, for you to make an effort. What the fuck is all this?” Jake sneered at the layout you had made at the dining room table before pinching his thumb and forefinger against the bridge of his nose like he had a headache. 

You were tired too and could feel your own headache start to build up. “Jake no one is going to care if I bought all this stuff premade. I didn’t have time to-” 

“Don’t Y/N, you knew how important this party was to me, assured me I didn’t need to hire anyone to come in to cook and this is what you delivered?” 

You could feel the tears well up, you had indeed insured Jake that you would do the food, you were always a pretty decent cook and whipping up snack foods for his friends wasn’t a big deal. 

That was until your chill day became rather hectic when you were called to do a quick fill-in for one of the teachers where you were able to substitute part-time. Your part-time day turned into all day. 

You had rushed for all the favorites at the grocery store, heated everything up, and set them on the nice serving trays, rather proud you actually got that all accomplished for Jakes get together, games of poker with his old college buddies. But Jake caught sight of the boxes in the garbage and went to asses what you had done. 

Now he was mad about it and you messed up, cause you did assure him you could make it all. “I’m sorry, okay Jake? I took a job today that I thought was only going to be a couple hours. Do you want me to toss it and we can order something in?” You tried to placate him. Jake had his moments, sometimes he could just brush it off, forgive you with the explanation that you tried or hold onto his anger for days, belittling you in subtle ways till you felt like you were not even worth the effort. 

What was today going to be?

He sighed as he looked over the table, running a hand down his face and shaking his head. “It is what it is I guess.” He glanced over at you, his sharp blue eyes looking you up and down for a second. “Not like the guys will really notice anyways.” You breathed out in relief, he seemed okay with it. “I just like showing you off, I got myself the best girl out of all of us.” He wrapped an arm around your waist, pressing his hand against your soft belly like he was pointing out another flaw in you. “The sweetest anyways. I know you tried Darling and next time we will do it the right way.” 

You gave him a little smile and nodded, praying this was the only issue tonight to deal with. Jake was a perfectionist, it all had to be just so. “Now Darling, how about you go get changed, they will be here any second.” 

You shuddered at the thought as you stood in Curtis’s kitchen, slicing cheese while watching the group sitting around the Everett’s antique table playing UNO. This was so different, there was laughter and music playing. Way too many beer bottles scattered around the table along with piles of snacks that everyone brought. Ella had Sophia perched on her lap with a handful of cards, playing her hand while Edgar tried to bribe the toddler for information. 

“Come on Sophia, what color are you gonna use?” Edgar tried and Ella whispered in her ear. The toddler got a wicked little grin as she plucked out a card and threw it on the pile. “Blue! Draw four Uncle Eggy.” She was devious in her giggles as Edgar sputtered, drawing his cards while Timmy leaned across the table to give Sophia a high five. Tanya smirked over at him. 

“Teach you a lesson in not trying to cheat?”

It was a happy and playful atmosphere, there were no snide remarks about one another's jobs or significant others, no pretending to like one another, and all the teasing wasn't made to belittle anyone, but that of friends who knew each other for a lifetime. 

A warm set of hands on your forearms rubbed up and down as a solid chest pressed against your back. “Mmmh, need help?” Curtis asked from behind you and you smiled as warmth curled in your chest. He had already spent all evening praising all you have done to make tonight a success, which you couldn’t even take credit for. Everyone participated by bringing food and drinks. He also had been kissing and hugging you, making sure to whisper how sexy you looked in your outfit tonight, especially the tights, they were just driving him up the wall.

“No, I’m almost done. I was just replacing the cheese we polished off.” You scooped it up and laid it onto the plate, one of the many mismatched dishes being used tonight. Nobody cared, no one observed any of that. 

Curtis reached around you to snag a slice, popping it into his mouth over your shoulder. “It was damn good cheese.” He stated while cuddling you back into him. “How long do you think we need to play host though?” His mouth teased in the crook of your neck, knowing the scratch of his beard would tickle you, and make you squirm. 

“Night is just getting started Curtis.” You giggled as you twisted to face him, cocking a brow at him. “You know we never finish before midnight.” Sometimes game night lasted till the early morning hours, the only one who actually got any proper sleep that night would be Sophia, who Ella would lay her down in the spare bedroom off the kitchen. “So you have hours.” 

He groaned as if it was a chore, but you knew it was all for show, he loved having these game nights as much as the rest of them. “Or I could just kick them all out, get you all to myself.” He proposed, a teasing grin on his mouth as he wiggled his brows. 

“Good luck kicking your niece out.” You stuck your tongue out at him, easily playing back. You swore he growled as he gripped the back of your neck and pulled you into him, kissing you hungrily. 

Damn that man. You thought as you arched up closer, kissing him back. “Uncle Curtis!” Sophia bellowed from across the kitchen, making you giggle as Curtis lifted his head. “IT’S YOUR TURN!” 

“Okay! Okay! I’m coming! Can’t a man get two seconds with his girl.” 

Claude popped over to the counter, grabbing the plate of cheese you had been cutting. “Nope. You two are about to be lectured for inappropriate behavior in front of a minor.” 

Curtis flipped Claude off with a scowl, which didn’t scare her in the slightest and gave you a pat on your ass as he pulled away. “Too many damn freeloading people in my house, eating all my damn cheese.”

“Um, Grey brought the cheese,” Ella smirked while Curtis rolled his eyes, grabbing at his cards. “Tell Uncle Curtis he needs to share.” 

“You gotta share Uncle,” Sophia said so sternly that Tanya cackled from across the table. 

“He has to share Y/N too.” Ella pushed, her daughter gearing up to repeat it. 

“I most certainly do not have to share Y/N, you all see her all the time.” Curtis glanced at his hand and tossed down a card to play. 

You decided that it was time to return to the table, before you ended up getting yelled at by the group to hurry up, letting them ignore Curtis and hassle you instead. 

This kind of hassle you really didn't mind though. It was with people who actually considered you a friend and not just Curtis’s girlfriend. You returned to your seat next to Curtis, who promptly put his arm around your shoulders while you took your turn.