#it’s honestly kinda mediocre but whatever

[cinnamondumz]

Miasma

Statement of Hannah Dean, regarding a sick patient she took care of. Original statement given August 12th, 20XX. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute.

Statement begins.

My name is Hannah Dean, I work as a doctor at Pearl Garden Hospital. Let’s just get right to it. I don’t know when she was admitted into the hospital, where she came from, who her parents were, nothing. All I knew was that I was to be taking care of her. When I first entered her room, she was sat in her cot and stared right at me. She looked to be around, 13 or 14 years old? Had greasy hair and old bandages around her arms and legs. I’m not sure why I didn’t notice how everything was so… dirty, at first. The walls were stained, the floor was grotty, and the patient herself was overall, filthy. I walked over to her nonetheless and introduced myself, like I always did. I tried to run a few checkups on her, but as soon as I got close I felt a wave of sickness… emanate from her, somehow. I immediately stepped back, and that sickly feeling went away.

Have you ever heard of the Miasma theory? Where diseases are supposedly caused by bad air and such? This patient—I’m not sure how else to explain this. She had… bad air. There was like an invisible ball of gaseous sickness all around her. It made me want to puke. She gazed up at me with an innocent and confused look, and I couldn’t help but feel bad for her. I went back to do a physical exam on her, checking her skin and eyes, looking into her throat and ears, checking her pulse, the usual. It was hard to focus though, the awful feeling of nausea and illness ruminating off of her and right back at me. She was in a rough shape from the looks of it, she could’ve be suffering from a myriad of things. I figured I’d prescribe some acetaminophen, so I told her I would be back, and left the hospital room.

When I exited, I instantly noticed the change in air quality. It was so much more fresh and breathable outside of the patient’s room, despite still being in a building with what should’ve been the same conditions. That’s when I realized the difference in cleanliness as well, the halls had a scent of rubbing alcohol and chlorine, but her room… honestly, was foul. I went to grab the medicine for her when a friend of mine and also fellow co-worker, Wendy Lovett, bumped into me. She was surprised to see me and said that I looked unwell. I didn’t know what she was talking about until she showed me with her phone. I looked like I had a cold or something, but it wasn’t that serious, could just be the long hours getting to me. I mentioned I was getting some medicine for the patient in room 43, but Wendy looked more concerned for me. She told me there wasn’t a patient in room 43. I said that there definitely was one, and that she could come with me to take care of the patient if she really didn’t believe me.

We came back to the patient and Wendy wrinkled her nose as she entered. The patient still sat on that cot. I poured one chewable tablet of the medicine in my hand and instructed her how to take it. I’m not sure why, but she looked a little disappointed when she took it. Wendy walked over to the patient and I could see her face shift from mild disgust to utter repulsion. She must have gotten a little close and experienced that… bad air. Once the patient was done, I gave her a glass of water and Wendy practically dragged me out. She shut the door to the room and told me that patient was not normal. It was hard to disagree with Wendy, there was something strange about her and we both felt sick after being around her. We agreed that I would give the responsibility of taking care of this patient to someone else, probably more capable of dealing with sicker patients. The next day, I asked another doctor, Vincent Roussel, if he could handle the patient for me, as I was feeling ill. He begrudgingly agreed, and I stayed home.

I came back to work feeling much better after that, but I couldn’t help but notice Vincent looked really bad. His usually kept hair was a mess, he had stains all over his shirt, and his glasses were smudged and crooked. I asked if he was okay. Vincent glared at me and told me he was just fine, but judging from his cough and sniffly nose, he was not. I didn’t see him for the rest of the day, until I walked past room 43 nearing the end of my shift, the door slightly askew. Curiosity got the better of me, and I took a little peak inside. The room looked a lot dirtier than I remember, now with insects crawling and flying around the walls and floors. Vincent was now lying in the cot and he looked like a corpse, but he was still alive, the shaky rise and fall of his chest showed that. The patient stood beside the cot, remarkably looking a whole lot healthier, with her hand on Vincent’s shoulder. I think she was saying or whispering things, but I couldn’t hear what. I… I quickly left after seeing that.

Vincent was found dead in the hospital a few days later. The police haven’t found anything about what could have caused his death. I’ve only told Wendy about seeing the patient with Vincent so far, since I doubt the police would find the information helpful. We’ve both been avoiding room 43, even though it’s probably perfectly normal and clean now. That patient… I don’t know. I haven’t seen her since. I hope I never do.

Statement ends.

[naggingatlas]

you dont think its possible to feel like youre having a heart attack from a deltarune animation set to living fucking tombstone wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

[bpdanakins]

it really does suck a little to see the severe likes-to-reblogs ratio that happens so often on people’s work like i get for my edits they’re either niche or mediocre and i get that going in but if it still bothers me a bit then i can only imagine how frustrating and hurtful it is for people who genuinely want and need the engagement, who are genuine artists and creators.

like, seriously, is it THAT hard just to hit the reblog button? it’s literally right next to the like one. and i get that people like mobile tumblr more now (for some batty reason), but it still doesn’t take much effort. just two taps. so?? just reblog people’s work if you actually like it, bc we all know you’re not liking it to keep it on hand to interact with later.

it just kinda feels 😕

[sanjisprincesswifey]

romance alphabet ⋆ trafalgar law

summary: what it's like to fall in love with the surgeon of death

a ⋆ affection; how affectionate is he? how does he show his affection?

at the start of the relationship, law almost never shows any affection toward you. he’s helplessly awkward when it comes to lovey-dovey stuff, but after a couple awkward encounters, he’ll gain some confidence and start providing you acts of service.

it’s honestly the little things with law; he’ll bring you a blanket and pillows to nap in his office; he always makes sure you eat, even going as far as to make you meals when you’re hungry; anything you desire, law will provide.

b ⋆ best quality; what's his best quality as a romantic partner and why?

law is an incredible listener. he is always paying attention to what you say no matter the time or place. he always remembers the smallest of details, which of most you didn’t even remember yourself. by knowing every detail about you, it’s his way of showing you how much he cares.

c ⋆ confession; would he confess his feelings first? if so, how would he confess?

lmao no. he’d rather roll over in his grave than tell you he likes you.

the only way you’d find out is through someone else (bepo).

d ⋆ dating; what is it like to date him? how is he as a romantic partner?

in the beginning, it feels as if your relationship is stagnant, nothing really changes from just being friends. until one late night when he asks if you want to see his coin collection or his comic books and it’s like his whole personality does a complete 180 on you, seemingly out of nowhere. suddenly you’re dating a complete nerd who is (un)secretly obsessed with you.

law’s definitely the type to remember all the little things you say, has a journal full of your favorite things, but rarely opts to be overly romantic. he would give you a present that reminds you of someone special to you and treat it as “no big deal.”

all in all, he’s a bit embarrassed to be romantic, but he’s definitely got the spirit.

e ⋆ emotions; how emotional is he with you? does he show his emotions right away or does it take time for him?

you’re lucky if you get a passive aggressive sigh from law for a very long time. he doesn’t start dropping his walls until a couple months to a year, again, if you’re lucky.

poor baby is so afraid to show you any real emotion because of all his unresolved trauma, so just be patient with him.

f ⋆ flirt; how good is he at flirting? does he flirt well or often?

oh my god, no; it’s the opposite in fact. he’s terrible, genuinely terrible.

he’s awkward, stuttery, sweaty, and kinda just stares at you when he can’t get any words out.

on the rare occasion he’s mediocre at it is when he’s drunk and no other time, you cannot convince me otherwise.

g ⋆ gifts; is he a gift giver? what kind of gifts does he enjoy giving you?

yes, but he’s not so much for the pageantry so they’ll be subtle; a new blanket on the bed for you, a framed photo of the two of you suddenly appearing on your nightstand, stuff like that.

h ⋆ hugs; does he hug you a lot? what are his hugs like?

he loves to hug you only when you're in the privacy of his room on the polar tang. he doesn't care much for the affection otherwise, that's what he tells you anyway. you later learn he's just embarrassed to be so romantic otherwise given his reputation.

since law towers over you, he practically throws his body weight into you when you hug. he wraps his arms around your waist, tightly clinging to you as his head droops into your shoulder. the majority of his body weight is now shoved into your shoulder like the big 26-year-old baby he is.

i ⋆ i love you; does he tell you that he loves you first?

again, i have to laugh, but no. maybe subtly, but never, ever directly and he will never say the actual words. he’ll be more ‘romantic’ or whatever his version of romantic is (being more attentive), and then the crew will catch on. law definitely talks about you way too much to the crew and they'll all realize that he loves you before you do.

j ⋆ jealousy; does he get jealous a lot? if so, for what specific reason?

oh, yes; probably one of the most jealous men in all of one piece, in my opinion.

law is deeply insecure, afraid of love, and has abandonment issues and if he feels even a twinge of jealousy it’s like his heart breaks on the sight.

however, it does take a little bit to get him jealous! he’s not threatened by normal interaction, but if someone was a bit too overly affectionate with you (read: luffy, sanji, or eustass), that’s enough to make him jealous. it’s the act of seeing someone be vulnerable with you the exact same way he is with you that drives him nuts.

k ⋆ kisses; what part of you is his favorite to kiss? how often does he enjoy kissing you?

his favorite is any place that’s intimate and vulnerable; being able to claim you as his because no one else gets to touch you where he does.

you can find law in the crux of your neck almost every night, it’s one of his favorite spots because he can practically breathe in your scent and lovingly kiss the area as much as he likes without getting tired.

after your relationship reaches the point where he’s no longer uncomfortable to show affection it’s like every second of the day with him. you wouldn’t think it by the look of him, but law adores kissing you even if it’s a quick kiss to your forehead in passing. it’s kind of his way of showing you love even when you aren't directly saying it and he gets super whiny when you don’t show him the same affection in return.

l ⋆ love language; what’s his love language?

acts of service. law thinks of it as an incognito way to show affection even when he’s around others. it’ll range from throwing a blanket on you when you “accidentally” fall asleep in his office to offering to aid you on specific tasks “just in case.”

m ⋆ memories; what memories of you two are the most precious to them? why do they treasure them?

it has to be the first night he said, ‘i love you.’ it’s after you had fallen asleep in his arms, your light snores echo around the room.

he has an elbow propped up against the pillow holding his head and the other arm draped around you. your bare skin is so warm against him, it was such a strange sensation compared to the cold air that usually envelopes him in his room.

your calm expression twitches slightly indicating that you had to be dreaming and law hopes it was about him.

his gray eyes were so soft; his facial muscles felt so foreign in such a gentle position, but he couldn’t help it when he was holding you so close to him. knowing that the person before him loved him so much.

that meant so much to him because it was the first time in 14 years that law had finally regained the love he had lost so long ago.

n ⋆ nicknames; what nicknames does he prefer to call you, if any at all?

law is such a ‘doll’ kind of guy. it just falls from his lips like butter and he’s so quick to start calling you that too.

o ⋆ on cloud nine; what is he like when he's in love? how different does he act when he's in love?

when law falls in love with you, it is probably the most confusing time in your relationship. it’s kinda like when the grinch’s heart grows three sizes but instead of accepting it, it scares the hell out of him. he’s extremely avoidant of you and won’t explain anything so you gotta corner him in his office.

he’ll get scared, possibly shed a tear or two and tell you just how terrified of love he is. you can’t really blame him, so you tell him you obviously love him too. he turns into such a clingy, obsessive guy after that. he loves having your attention; his walls really come down and he’ll show you all his nerdy collections like comic books and coins.

when law is finally ready to admit that he’s in love with you, he is the softest and most pure a man could be. he’s vulnerable and feels safe with you, so that means he’s extra protective.

p ⋆ pda; does he openly express pda? how affectionate is he in public?

unfortunately, law hates pda. in fact, law is very adamant on keep your relationship personal and private. due to his traumatic past, law chooses to keep you a secret so as to not put you in harm’s way.

though when you make the alliances that law does, he comes to realize that word will get out eventually. law attempts to threaten luffy to keep your relationship under wraps but, c’mon, it’s luffy.

q ⋆ quirks; what are some things you’ve learned about him since being in a relationship?

he’s very particular about everything; he always needs a solution to every problem. for instance, whenever you two have a disagreement, he’ll be unsatisfied until he has a direct solution for your issue and become frustrated if there isn’t one.

because of his particular-ness, when it’s his turn to plan date nights, they are often planned to a t. you will leave a certain time, the activity will take place at a certain time, etc., you think it’s completely adorable even when he’s frustrated when you’re a minute or two behind schedule.

r ⋆ romance; is he a romantic partner? is he cliché or creative?

contrary to popular belief, law can be quite romantic. he’s a ‘flowers just because kind of guy’ and is extremely creative in the gift-giving sentiment.

he opts for purchasing presents you’d actually enjoy, taking his time and putting energy into a photo album or scrapbook. the gestures from law are always well thought out; it’ll always be work he’s proud of.

s ⋆ smooch; what was your first kiss like? where did it happen and was it planned?

your first kiss is something law wishes you didn’t remember. he waited 26 years to kiss someone, did either of you really think he’d be any good at it?

it, of course, was a bit awkward. you never assume someone could mess up a kiss but somehow, he did.

you were in his office, chair placed closely next to his as you read over whatever book he was fixated on this week.

it was late, the both of you were sleep deprived beyond compare, but every time law glanced over at you reading the page he was, he swore his heart jumped out of his chest.

though the kiss itself was not planned, he spent at least 15 minutes mentally calculating if he should make his move.

when he finally mustered up the courage, he turned to you in an awkward position and just kinda stared between your eyes and your lips.

it doesn’t take long for you to notice your boyfriends gawking and before you can ask him if he’s okay he smushes his lips to yours.

of course, having no prior experience, he doesn’t really move his lips at all and just sits there for a couple of seconds until you pull away.

he’s confused, but he’s definitely got the spirit, so you give him some leeway and show him how it’s done.

the both of you laugh about that memory now, but he still feels embarrassed if he thinks about it for too long.

t ⋆ true love; does he believe you were destined to be together?

nope. he doesn’t believe in fate or astrology or anything of the sort but is definitely open to it if you do.

even if doesn’t believe in any spiritual destiny, he constantly finds himself thanking whoever may be up there that he is lucky enough to have you.

u ⋆ ultimatum; what is a dealbreaker in his relationship?

law needs loyalty. he needs to know that you are his and, more importantly, that he is yours. the hardest part about falling in love for him is that he is terrified that you’ll leave him and having your loyalty reassures him (most times anyway) that you’ll always be by his side.

v ⋆ value; how important is the relationship to him? what is it worth in comparison to other things in his life?

okay, don’t shoot the messenger, but at the start of your relationship law didn’t think that highly of it. due to his lack of emotional affection to or from anyone, he honestly saw no important significance for being in a relationship.

in classic law fashion, nothing really changed between you two until he realized how much your absence affected him. the romantic longing in his heart was such an unfamiliar feeling he mistook it for some kind of heart condition.

eventually law comes to realize that, maybe, someone who is as closed off and lonely as he could fall in love and then he is putty in your hands. the minute he knows he loves you, you become his number one priority. he tries to maintain some of his natural disposition, but he is so desperate to be loved by you that he does anything and everything for you.

w ⋆ wild card; a random relationship headcanon!

law is borderline obsessed with you. he’ll know things about you that you don’t even remember telling him. he’s kind of a freak if we’re being honest.

he steals clothes from your room because they smell like you, takes photos of you without your knowledge so that he can keep them for later, and bought your engagement ring the day he knew he loved you.

obviously, he has no intention of ever telling you any of this because he doesn’t need you to know just how desperate he is for you to love him.

law knows that you’re his and either he’s marrying you or he’s dying alone, no other option.

x ⋆ x-factor; what drew him to you?

law loves how different the two of you are. you aren’t opposites by any means, but the way that your emotional intelligence and situational awareness (especially when it comes to such a brooding man such as himself) differ so greatly from his that it entices something within him. he doesn’t consider you the opposite of him, but he views it as what he lacks, you offer.

he knew you had these qualities from the very beginning, that’s why he asked you to join his crew, but seeing how well they transfer over to your relationship made him swoon even more.

y ⋆ yearning; when does his find himself missing you?

though he never prefers to be put in situations that are rambunctious or crazy, law finds himself missing you most when he’s in them. something about having you there, holding his hand or talking to him makes the situation so much better.

z ⋆ zzz; what is his favorite sleeping position? is he the big spoon or the little spoon?

something about spooning always gives law so much comfort. he loves to cling to you, to have you pulled so tight to chest that you can feel his heartbeat through your back.

while the warmth and closeness being the big spoon provides him is extremely comforting, law does prefer to be the little spoon. when you’re as private and apathetic as law is, he’s practically begging to be held by you. since he rarely gets a good night’s sleep, being in your arms is the best melatonin substitute.

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated! (✿◠‿◠)

[xenteaart]

contemplating mediocrity

pairing: idol!chan x reader (gn but written with f!reader in mind) word count: 0,9k genre/warnings: er, hurt to comfort, use of "baby", self-doubt, honestly not much else, pretty pg-13 author's note: heavily inspired by @withleeknow 's last seungmin fic, i couldn't handle the angst and needed to comfort myself fkdjfkdjfk. also it kinda made me reflect on why it hurt so bad so i guess this fic is a little support and comfort thingy for everyone who might not be feeling "enough". before reading you might wanna check out the inspo fic itself <3

“baby? what’s wrong?” 

ah, he’s always too quick to notice. 

you take your eyes off the laptop and put a video of 3racha’s festival performance on pause.

“nothing. you guys did a wonderful job, truly. ’m just… contemplating my mediocrity.”

“what?” he’s more just taken aback than anything else but you read it as irritation.

it’s one of those days when everything feels extra sensitive, even the things you can deal with well on a regular day.

“what? chris, baby, i’m not being self-deprecating, it’s just a fact. i truly could not be more proud of you, but sometimes i just can’t shake off the feeling of not doing enough compared to you. 

it warms my heart to know that you are so so loved and respected, it really does. but, i guess.. it’s a little humbling too? i haven’t achieved anything nearly as grand and i don’t have thousands of people cheering for me after i do as much as breathe. which you totally deserve, by the way, i’m not saying you don’t.”

long silence follows as chris frowns, carefully crafting his next response while you’re already starting to regret you opened your mouth at all. maybe, some things should be kept to yourself. maybe, it’s not really necessary to share every dark thought that comes to your pained mind after midnight. maybe, it’s safer for your relationship to just move those conversations to a cozy zoom meeting with your therapi—

“that’s a skewed perception of our dynamic though, baby.” 

oh, shit. he has the look. you know this one too well, and it says “i’m not letting this slide and we’re talking this through”. 

“how so?” you feel tired and discouraged already, mostly annoyed at yourself for making your boyfriend come up with some nonsense points to make you feel better now. 

“don’t put me on a pedestal. firstly, i think you’re forgetting how many people there actually are behind what we’re doing. daily. i’m talking all the staff and production teams, makeup, hair, clothes, art direction, schedule management. everything. there is literally a whole division for us that makes us look the way we look and helps us do what we love.”

you stay quiet, blinking slowly and pursing your lips together. 

“which isn’t to say we don’t work hard or that we haven’t achieved anything, but it wouldn’t have been possible without all that help. 

secondly, in my daily life i’m just a guy, baby. literally just a guy who loves music. nothing fancy,” chan gives you one of those wide soft smiles, and you hear your heart break a little. 

“yeah, well, not every guy who loves music has the amount of awards and recognition you do, baby.”

“okay, where is this truly going?”

there it goes.

“sometimes i worry i just can’t match it? that you’ll get bored of me because i’m not over the top extraordinary or... whatever.”

you feel stupid. 

“so you think i’m with you for your so-called achievements?”

you can’t come up with a response, so he continues, gently hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. his favorite way of making you feel loved. 

“i’m with you because you’re my sense of normalcy, baby. you calm my mind when it’s racing too fast. you’re my safe little harbour where i can find peace after hectic schedules and loud noises and crowds. you ease the weight i carry on my shoulders every day.” 

you stay silent, focusing on the feeling of his warm breath on your cheek. the tip of his nose is touching your skin lightly.

“you love the regular channie. you kiss my puffy swollen face in the mornings, and those kisses make me wonder if i’m actually not that bad without all the makeup on after all. you laugh at my jokes and cuddle me when i get needy. you listen to my darkest nastiest thoughts and never judge me for feeling whatever it is i’m feeling. 

what i’m getting at is that... i can just be me around you, you know? that’s why i’m still here. and i feel so proud to have a partner with a big warm heart and a strong mind, honored to be cared for by someone so neat and beautiful in the most mundane things.

do you really think i’d measure my love and respect for you by something like fame or... some noble achievements?”

“i don’t know,” you sound even more confused than at the beginning of this suddenly serious conversation, caught off guard by chan’s words, but mostly — his tenderness towards you. his patience and the way he's willing to spell it out for you if you're feeling too low to see the whole picture yourself.

"well, then i’m telling you. that is just not the case. you’re already everything i could ask for, baby. someone passionate, honest, reliable, loving and kind. someone who holds my hands through the hard days and makes me laugh on the good days. simple as that."

the pressure on your chest is slowly fading as chan's words finally sinking in, finding their ways into your system and rendering as the truth. the ache isn't completely gone but you know it will be in the morning, when the sunrise washes the rest of your worries away.

for now, you turn around in chris's embrace and hide your nose in the crook of his neck, simply breathing and enjoying the lingering scent of his soap. skin to skin.

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Some Much-Needed Downtime TBH

ok I kinda read these species-swap chapters quickly without commenting 2 nights ago bc I REALLY wanted to catch up to the show, and honestly I didn't have much to say? It was a fun showcase of some different species talents, and introduced multiple fun problems for the characters to solve [takes notes in DM]. But it didn't seem to move either plot or characters forward much. Some notes:

Honestly it's surprising that there's only been 1 count of food poisoning so far, when they're trying SO MANY new things. One must credit Senshi's cooking skills!

This might be the single funniest joke so far:

I've seen multiple posts saying Senshi's elfsona reveals him to be feminine by dwarf standards, and I'm genuinely BAFFLED by that take because it is SO obvious that Senshi's elfsona reveals him to be 1. the Hottest Man You Have Ever Met, and 2. HAIRY. We have seen 0 other elves with facial hair. I dug up that showcase of different elves and 0 of them have facial hair. In the Tolkienien lore from which all modern fantasy, or certainly this sort of fantasy, is derived, exactly 2 elves in the history of the world are said to have had facial hair. Elf!Senshi has a tiny little moustache. Elf!Senshi isn't feminine, he is the HOTTEST, HAIRIEST bear in the metaphorical gay club.

...it's possible that he's more of a himbo than we realize, though.

I don't know what's up with Kensuke and I AM worried that it's being directed by the demon. I want it to be Laios's friend so bad...

It occurs to me that "the winged lion is actually the demon at the root of all of this" is probably the biggest spoiler I've gotten, and I didn't even realize how huge a spoiler it was because I DIDN'T get spoilered for the fact that, so far as the characters know, the lion is supposed to be a helpful god. Don't play with spoilers, kids! Even if you want to read the juicy meta!

This initial fight with the gargoyles is probably my new second-favorite "Laios is really quickly analytical and problem-solving in combat" moment (the living armor fight is still #1). He sees how everyone is failing, prevents more problems as he can, realizes they can't win and puts together what pieces they need to get out. In group social dynamics, he's a mediocre leader at best, but he's a superb combat tactician.

Laios is just living in his own little after-school special, and I love him for that.

That first panel is definitely support for the theory that the 50-60yr life expectancy of "short-lived" races like tallmen, orcs, kobolds and halffeet is shorter than it should be, relative to their ages of maturity, because the long-lived races control and hold most of the resources. It's even possible that their ages of maturity SHOULD be even older, but social conditions force them to become "adults" at a younger developmental age than dwarves, gnomes and especially elves!

Panel 3 is Marcille mentally shoving Chilchuck higher on her list of Lives to Extend by Whatever Magic I Can Learn.

I love how the way they figure out that the mushrooms' effects are easily reversible is literally by thinking through the greater social worldbuilding implications of the effects.

^This is the single most Dad we've ever seen Chilchuck...topped only by that 'carry child like a football' a moment later. Actually, he yeets Marcille a LOT while tall - here, over the jump in the travel montage, with Laios to make a loop for the gargoyle...which I'm dead certain is an indication of how he physically treated his daughters. Those kids got casually, affectionately tossed like salad.

.

AND THAT'S WHAT WE CALL FRIENDSHIP.

...okay maybe I did have several thoughts about those 2 chapters.

.

"[Falin] was much tougher than I was. I hear she and our parents still write to each other" is SUCH a line for painting a picture of Laios and Falin's childhoods, and Laios's feelings on it.

.

you can keep your Kabru Wink(TM)s, I am weak only for the Laios Fond Little Smile(TM).

.

I love how Senshi is still musing on this soul = egg metaphor, and I LOVE how both times now that we've seen Laios genuinely lose his temper, it's because someone was saying "why are you just being excited about eating monsters when Falin is in danger?!", and he's snapping because he is fucking NOT dismissing his sister in favor of eating monsters, he is doing EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER to save her and it just so happens that the only plans with a smidgen of success involve leaning into eating monsters. And by trying to stop him from that, you're stopping him from saving Falin.

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Laios, how tf do you remember the Wink? I'm 99% sure Kabru never once winked in your interactions; I WAS looking for it. Was he just exuding wink energy? (I mean...yes.)

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The dramatic irony jokes in this chapter are on POINT. Chilchuck: "There's no way this thing still works" [tram door slams shut on his heels, cars immediately starts moving]. "You won't find a military company in the dungeon" [smash cut to Shuro, Namari and Kabru unhappily leading the Canaries into the dungeon]. Impeccable.

Stopping this one here in preparation for going nuts about implied elf-related worldbuilding in the next chapters!

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

One lowkey thing that kinda drives me insane about Taylor Swift is discussion about her music. I don't know how to explain this properly but... (sorry for the long ask)

She's not an excellent singer. She's fine, but as a good example from her own discography: look at Florida feat. Florence. Florence singing her verse made me wake up in that album and made me realize how the song could've been delivered! She sings it in a much more interesting way than Taylor did. This isn't even to speak towards other popular artists like Beyonce, Ariana, Lana, Olivia, Billie, etc. who all have their own signature vocal styles and delivery that are impressive and make their songs.

I don't know. It feels bizarre to have one of the biggest pop artists in the world to have such mediocre vocals. TTPD as an album I feel partly got killed because of the way she's so samey about her vocal delivery.

But her fans would say no it's not about the vocals, it's the songwriting. But then TTPD songwriting was meh and just awful at some parts (the 1800s racist line is weird. period. I don't care whatever essay defense they give it). What now? What's the appeal? Why does she get to release something mediocre and get all the attention and praise when some artists have released great albums this year?

Then there's also when she gets the weirdest praise for the mildest things that other musicians have done. Album eras? "Oh, she's so cool and different for that!" No, she didn't invent them, shut up. An album of fictional songs with a story? They act as if concept albums don't exist! The most minor of genre shifts (she's primarily exploring different types of pop) are treated as experimental and groundbreaking. The most milquetoast and shallow political music she ever wrote (YNTCD and The Man) are seen as iconic moments of speaking out. Like what?

It's just frustrating me. I remember when someone told me she screamed in some songs in TTPD (Who's Afraid of Little Old Me and The Black Dog iirc) and I listened to that album and I thought they were joking with me because what do you mean scream??? Why does she get praised for so much mediocrity holy shit!

I think this is why when I hear people say that there's swifties that only mainly listen to Taylor and Taylor-adjacent artists, I believe them. I feel like they're making so many impressed remarks about her work because that's all they know. That's how we get genre takes like someone saying Rep is punk or how they want her to make a rock album. I feel like that's how we get stupid stuff like Gaylors too. Because why listen to actually out queer artists if you can just reimagine your fave artist as queer?

Honestly, I just don't understand the attachment to her music? Every time someone tells me it's because she's relatable, I just shake my head because she's never been relatable to me, even back when I enjoyed her songs. Maybe I'm too un-USAmerican for this, but she was never very universal for me. I enjoyed her because she did fun pop songs. But now I've realized she's so frustratingly shitty as a person, I can't listen to her.

Sorry for the rant, but it's been hard to find a space for this without getting attacked by swifties (especially as a poc).

(1/2)

[coconutcordiale]

In honor of How To Lose a Guy In Ten Days and Matthew McConaughey: “Great Answer.” “Good Question.” With Hangman

make my motor run

pairing- finnegan (everybody wants some!!) x afab reader

synopsis- everyone thinks finn is so sweet. you're not convinced.

warnings- 18+ minors and glen powell - you are not welcome here. protected piv, oral (f receiving), slight dumbification/degradation, praise kink. reader has ethically not great motives around sleeping with finn but do we honestly think finn cares? no

length- 2.1k

an- not hangman, but it's still glen so...close enough? this is the crossover literally not one person asked for - how to lose a guy in 10 days (if you squint a little) & everybody wants some

idk y'all, i don't have it in me to be ashamed anymore. this is just smut with some bants. idk if anyone even wants to read this but the glen powell brain rot is real so it had to be done so it'd stop rattling around in my mind. blame glen and his stupidly handsome face and the fact that he steals every scene he's in

title from my sharona - the knack

tagging some finn peeps - @sebsxphia / @iguana-braces / @justalonelyslytherin

It’s Saturday night. Against your better judgment, you’re at the rickety baseball houses, silently debating if you’ll have time to get a tetanus shot before your study group tomorrow morning.

Finn twirls his pipe between his fingers, leaning against the porch railing in a ridiculous paisley button-up. “Aside from how to take my breath away, what do you study here, ladies?”

“Does that ever actually work on real, human women?” You ask, ignoring the elbow to your ribs that Sophia digs into your side, presumably to get you to shut up.

The blond tilts his head, processing. He eventually grins. “Take no prisoners kinda gal, aren’t ya? I like that.” 

You hold back a grunt when Sophia elbows you again, answering the question before you can snark him any further. “We’re both journalism majors.” 

Going to take a sip of your drink, something you’ll surely need to swallow whatever faux-enlightened comment he has about that little piece of information; you furrow your brows when you realize it’s empty.

“I’ll grab you another drink, try not to miss me too much.” Finn winks, the bastard. What a ham. 

Your eye roll is barely contained when Sophia gives you a knowing look. 

“Oh, come on, he’s sweet,” she insists. 

“You’ve seen him with other girls, right? Everything out of his mouth is a line, Soph. It’s all bullshit. He’s pandering to us, so he seems better, different than his asshole teammates. It’s insulting.”

“Then why haven’t you told him to fuck off?”

“I think he’d be a good subject for my article.”

Her eyes widen. “About benevolent misogyny?”

“That’s the one.”

“How far are you gonna take this? Sleep with him to prove a point about how far a chauvinistic male will go for sex?”

You shrug. You hadn’t really thought it through, honestly. It’s not like it’d be a chore, he is pretty hot when he keeps his mouth shut.

She takes your silence as confirmation. “That’s kind of fucked up.” 

“Can’t be worse than changing your entire personality every other night just to get laid.” 

+ 

You find yourself sitting on the roof with Finn, having already shown up his mediocre golf swing. You’d never admit it to Soph, but your article is the furthest thing from your mind right now.

“True or false: all fundamental beliefs are reasonable.” You’re so taken aback by his pop quiz you almost don’t notice him sitting down behind you, pulling you into the space between his legs.

Smooth. You roll your eyes, but don’t move away. “False.” 

You can hear the smile in his voice. “I see someone’s already taken Philosophy 101 with Roberts.” 

“Yes, but that’s irrelevant. That’s an insane statement regardless.” 

When you turn to catch a glimpse of him you see him opening his mouth, ostensibly to argue, but you shake your head. “My turn. True or false: all’s fair in love and war.” 

“True.”

You can’t help the smirk that tugs at your lips. “Great answer.” 

Finn positively beams. “Good question!” His hands drift up from your hips, working their way under your flimsy tank before he brings his lips to your ear, murmuring, “True or false: you’re gonna let me take you inside so I can take you apart.” 

Your breath hitches. “True.” 

He turns your head to him, mouth pressing against yours, mustache tickling you, soft and sweet for just a moment, before he slides his tongue into your mouth filthily. “Let’s go then, honey.”

Your tiny denim shorts and little tank get lost on the floor of his bedroom almost immediately, skin ablaze as he pushes you back onto his bed, on soft forest green sheets that smell like him – warm and spicy and earthy. He stays standing as he makes quick work of his own clothes, raking his eyes across your naked form.

You try not to shy away from his gaze, meeting his eyes defiantly as you feel slick pooling between your thighs. You’re barely keeping yourself from rubbing them together, words laced with an edge you don’t feel. “Thought you were working on a degree in cunnilingus. Put that mouth to good use, Finn.”

There’s a sparkle in those green eyes that you catch just before he braces himself above you, arms bracketing your head. His words are muffled against your skin as he kisses his way down your body. “Overheard that, did you? Knew you were paying special attention to me.”

You roll your eyes, mouth open to respond, but he drags his lips across your collarbone before his mouth closes around a nipple, effectively driving any wit from you.

He pushes your legs open wide, settling himself between them. His chest presses into the mattress as his arms wrap around your thighs where he’s busy putting them over his shoulders. When his mustache brushes against your thigh's sensitive skin, it sends shivers racketing through you and you feel his smirk only centimeters away from where you want it. 

He licks his lips as your resolve crumbles with every passing second.

“C’mon, Finn, please,” you whine, threading your hands through his shaggy hair, trying in vain to pull him closer to your cunt.

“Impatient,” he tsks. You lean up to fix him with a glare, but it only makes him chuckle. “Don’t worry, honey, I’ll take care of you.”

He finally, finally licks a stripe up your slit, and despite it being exactly what you asked for, you tug on hard on the blond hair between your fingers in surprise. He groans long and low, vibrations rolling through your body from your center where his lips are busy fixing themselves to your clit. 

His buries his face in you, moaning against your cunt as his tongue laps at you like a starved man. “Could spend hours drowning in this pussy, tastes so fucking good.”

The sound that leaves you in answer to that is pathetic – high and whiny – hips bucking. His big hands are gripping you so tight you’re sure there’ll be bruises high on your legs tomorrow. He stiffens his tongue to fuck it in and out of you, nose bumping your clit and making you shake, your eyes rolling back into your head.

Any sense of shame, any idea that you should keep yourself quiet in this house full of strangers has left you – your existence narrowed down to your hands in his hair, his lips on your cunt, the moans tearing their way from your throat, unbidden.

Your legs dig into his back, urging him in, hurtling towards the point of no return so fast all you can think of is needing more. He moves his lips back to your clit, hand loosening his death grip enough to slide a finger into the wet mess you’ve become at the same time he curls his lips and sucks.

“Don’t stop, please, Finn I -” You’re begging now, grinding against his face as much as you can in the vice-like grip he still has on you. He doubles his efforts, tongue working over your clit harder, finger inside you curling as you burn with the intensity of it, electricity bursting beneath your skin as the tension finally bursts, his name falling from your lips like a prayer.

Your legs feel like jelly. You let go of his blond locks belatedly, resigning yourself to your new existence as a puddle, a melted version of your former self. 

He looks up from between your legs and grins. 

You grab for his arms where they’re still flexed around your thighs, bringing him up face to face with you. He smiles, dropping sweet kisses to your parted lips and warm cheeks. Whining, you wrap your legs around his waist, wordlessly trying to pull him to you, get him inside of you, greedy for him.

“Don’t tell me a smart girl like you doesn’t know how to use her words,” Finn goads, laughter curling in his words, and you’re torn between wanting to smack him and beg like your life depends on it. You’re so distracted you barely notice him shifting his weight to his knees so he can reach for a condom, tear it open with his teeth, and roll it on.

You try to glare but he braces himself over you again, rubbing his cock between your folds, catching your oversensitive clit and a truly embarrassing whimper comes out, eyes blurring with a mix of pain and pleasure instead. “Finnegan.” 

“Yeah, baby?”

Taking a deep breath, you try to get your last functioning brain cell to cooperate. “Get inside me right now or so help me –”

You can still feel the amusement on his lips as he ducks his head down to slot your mouths together to cut you off, swallowing your moan as he pushes into you, slow and steady. 

When you flex your legs around his waist impatiently, he chuckles before setting a relentless pace, grinding his cock into you hard with each push. It’s too much, it’s not enough, it sets your skin on fire, it rackets the headboard against the wall – if his teammates didn’t know what was happening before, they certainly have a good idea now.

Your head lolls to the side as he hits that spot inside you on every thrust, nerves overloaded as you grip the nape of his neck, just trying to hold on.

“Fuck,” he groans, looking down at the glazed expression taking over your features. “Not gonna last long.” 

The thought that he’s already so close from having his mouth on you has your eyes crossing, cunt clenching around his thick length. His face crumples, mouth parting like you’ve just knocked the wind out of him. “Trying to kill me, honey?”

He lifts one of your legs to his shoulders, leaning down towards you and bending you in half – pushing limits to flexibility you didn’t even know you had.

“Wanna feel you come on my cock, you can do that for me, can’t you?” Finn asks, panting against your cheek, deft fingers moving down to circle your clit.

The sparks shooting through you as he presses into your center border on pain but you’re nodding, head bobbing up and down of its own accord, nails scratching red along his shoulders as you get closer and closer.

“Good girl,” he grunts and you keen, his words hurtling you towards the edge again. “So good for me…look at you, smart ass, brilliant girl fucked dumb on my cock.”

He’s pulling almost all the way out of you on every thrust now, slamming back in, and your back arches against him, a string of unintelligible noises leaving you that you’re just barely aware of, mewling filling the air in the room as your release snaps through you, ears ringing.

When you come to, still shaking and clenching around him, he’s running his mouth still, a litany of praise and groans of fuck honey, perfect for me, spilling from his bitten, red lips. His hips tear forward without rhythm as he pumps into you one last time, filling the condom before dropping your leg and collapsing next to you, strings holding him up suddenly cut.

Finn rolls to the side, and you stare at the cracks in the ceiling, wondering if you’ll ever be able to move again. You think he’s talking, but you can’t even begin to register what he’s saying. 

“Did I fuck all the brains out of the mouthy girl I brought up here?” Finn asks, amused when you don’t respond.

“Just surprised you wanted audience participation for your post-sex speech,” you snark, trying not to belay how difficult it is to form words currently.

“Well, I think Joanna Russ would disparage of me if I were indifferent to your thoughts and opinions immediately after getting off.”

 You raise an eyebrow. “You know who Joanna Russ is?”

 “The Female Man is a cornerstone of feminist literature. I read it be—”

 You can’t help but interrupt, brain quickly coming back online. “Because you thought it was going to be about the ideal woman through a man’s eyes.”

 He even has the gall to look offended. “Of course not, everyone knows Russ is a feminist writer.”

“Then you read it so more women would sleep with you after hearing that you’d read it.” He presses his lips together to hold back a smile and you snort. “I knew it.”

“Honey, don’t get mad at me just because it works.”

“Incorrigible.” 

You lay your head on his chest, trying not to purr like a kitten as his hands tangle in your hair.

“I enjoy Jack Kerouac too if you really want to round out your article. Paint a full picture.”

Your eyes widen, trying desperately to keep in the surprised squeak when you look up to meet jade eyes and see them filled with mischief.

“Just a thought,” he murmurs, hands resuming their movements on your scalp, lulling you toward sleep.

full disclosure i haven't actually read the female man but i'm pretty sure it was published in the 70s which seemed fitting for ews being set in the 80s. thanks for reading!

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Random BL Superlatives: 2023

I'll still probably do a proper wrap-up post at year's end, but I adore this idea by @lurkingshan, so thought I would toss out a few of my own.

Character who most needs an immediate spinoff: Nawin from Laws of Attraction

I need more of our unhinged himbo and his crew of loyal idiots. I'm thinking something along the lines of an uptight young cop comes to town to investigate, gets his world mind-blowingly rocked mentally and physically, and leaves the force to join his himbo on a life of wild crime.

Best chewing of the scenery: Wayne Song in Kiseki: Dear to Me

I know some people thought it was too much, but my beloved Wayne can do whatever he wants. He was clearly having the best time going all in on the unhinged energy of Zhang Teng, and I love that for him.

BL boy I most want to feed soup and give a warm hug to:

As I mentioned in my carnal list, there are a lot of cuties out there that I can appreciate, but also kinda look like babies to me because of their age. Khaotung is one of them. I love him, he's gorgeous, and a brilliant actor, but I just want to take care of him. Give him a cinnamon roll character like Gaipa, and I'm lost. Let me feed and cuddle you!

Best saving grace in a mediocre series: Bosston in Be Mine Superstar

I did a whole post about my love for Bosston and getting to see him sink his teeth (and entire body) into a role like Muang. As much as I like Ja & First, they felt underwritten and forgettable. But Bosston made the watch worth it. (And we're getting him & Jo in another series, woop, woop!).

Moment that most sticks in my head from this year: Chen Yi & Ai Di in Kiseki: Dear to Me

Honestly, this series and this couple did me in so many times, but there is something about this scene in particular. Chen Yi's smirk knowing he's got Ai Di where he wants him, the fact that he's been practicing eating spicy food just for this very moment, the ease with how he lifts Ai Di, how Ai Di can't help himself from putting his arms around Chen Yi. So unwell.

This is a close second:

The Best non-BL BL relationship: Khatha & Dome in Midnight Museum

Brothers, my hiney. Also give us our sequel!

[antianakin]

Ok I’ve got to ask: what’s your perspective on ventress? Bc I feel like I’ve seen you talk about pretty much every other major character from tcw but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you talk about her. Is she just one of those characters that you’re neutral/have no opinion on?

Yeah I'm generally fairly neutral about her because I don't think they DID much with her. My strongest feeling about her is that I kinda hate her with Quinlan Vos. I haven't even read Dark Disciple because I heard it sucks, but what I do know about their relationship in that novel just doesn't appeal to me.

I think Ventress kind-of got the short straw in a lot of ways in TCW. She's primarily a pretty basic second or third tier villain in earlier seasons and her whole "redemption arc" is primarily utilized to bring back Maul and then she kinda just disappears mostly and her character never ends up really going anywhere interesting after she leaves Dooku and the Nightsisters are killed. I wish they had done something MORE with her after they started to "redeem" her, but they just... don't. So she ends up a kind-of basic villain and a kind-of mediocre... anti-hero? Sort-of? And then she dies in a novel or something apparently, so. Whatever.

She's not a character I see a lot of people trying to really woobify either, which is usually what turns me off of the "evil" characters. I think she generally does the job she's supposed to do as a villain and then she just kind-of fades into the background afterwards, and I don't tend to have strong feelings about the background lol.

I think if anybody tried to argue that she was ever a GOOD PERSON, I'd probably have strong feelings about that. She's not. She has a relatively interesting tragic backstory that absolutely doesn't get touched on as much as it should've (her relationship to the Jedi REALLY could've been a great way to expand upon her as she developed further away from selfishness), but she's very much a villain who does really awful shit to people for a long time. And even after she leaves the Sith behind, she's primarily still just doing things for selfish reasons rather than because it's the right thing to do or whatever. And that's not a BAD thing necessarily as a character choice, it makes her more interesting to be so self-serving and struggling with not being totally evil anymore and what that means. Honestly, I would've found a quick switch into goodness pretty unbelievable anyway.

Ventress is one of Star Wars's relatively few female villains, so it's definitely kind-of sad that the writers really just never cared about her all that much and the one place she gets a little bit more focus couldn't think of anything better to do with her than to give her a romance. Boo. So yeah, I don't think about her too often, I don't have super strong feelings about her because I don't think she's quite enough of a fan favorite to have a bunch of stans insisting she was actually right the whole time etc etc, so I can appreciate her for what she is even if it doesn't amount to much.

[anxiously-sidequesting]

I know we as a fandom all love to shit on Duncan whenever we get the chance (see: me posting Duncan GruncanWuncan) especially since the like, two times we ever see him he's shitting on us for being ourselves then tries to kill us because of his own delusions of grandeur but I thought about it and I was like, "......man that's kinda Sad actually"

BECAUSE seeing this from Duncan's perspective; he's The Best, he always has been the best, but reality constantly shows him that isn't true (Malorn, The Wizard, anyone else)

Like imagine how painful that can be when you think something that you truly deserved and something that you've fought for, maybe for your entire life, is seemingly handed to others who aren't nearly as deserving as you

And yeah WE know that Duncan has neither worked (very hard, at least) for his perceived greatness NOR does he truly """deserve""" it (Duncan has been shown to be shirking his duties off to us and possibly others for his own gain), but DUNCAN doesn't know this. Like in his mind he truly, honestly, genuinely believes with his whole fragile heart that he is just above everyone else and puts more effort in trying to convince others of that rather than literally just trying to work towards that himself

And then there's the extra added insult that even in his own class he's pretty mediocre. Duncan INSISTS that he was Malistaire's best student and that he praised Duncan maybe once and that all other Death students only wish they could be like him, but... Malorn. And I bet deep down Duncan KNOWS that in fact Malorn was Malistaire's best and most talented. And Duncan can't even really twist that in his mind because it was made solid when Malorn took over Malistaire's duties instead of him. It was proven as a hard fact that Malorn was more suited to the job than Duncan was and is widely recognized as being The Best Death student (if the YW isn't a Necromancer)

Okay so fine. Whatever it's just Death right? At least Duncan can be the best at ANYTHING ELSE, maybe he's not the most talented Necromancer but there's 6 more types of magic to excel in!!!

But then another person ruins that. The Young Wizard poofs in from another world and suddenly, Duncan is overshadowed once more because a literal child prodigy and Local Hero arrives and literally saves their world and then, the universe. Multiple times in fact

Like bro I can imagine that could be at least a little bit painful for anyone, but imagine with Duncan's already low self-esteem and his fragile, large ego, he literally and genuinely took that personally and a hit to your pride is devastating for anyone, no matter who you are. That was like, Strike Three for Duncan and it was so very personal and important to him that it left him in a deep and vulnerable state

But I think the absolute saddest part of Duncan's downfall is that near the end, he was ultimately manipulated by an adult. A grown ass adult noticed and acknowledged his insecurities and purposely struck where it hurts the most, in his weakest state. Duncan already wasn't thinking clearly from the start but when everything went to shit for him and he was clinging, Gretta DarkKettle approached him and completely broke him down to make him into something else entirely for the Schism's benefit.

Of course Duncan was a piece of shit from the start but he truly didn't have any malicious intentions until Gretta messed with his mind. Like, he went from a pretty much harmless bully to an actual criminal of the state and a threat to the literal universe. Duncan was CORRUPTED and all of his worst fears and delusions were solidified the moment Gretta """validated""" those feelings Duncan had.

Is Duncan completely blameless? Fuck no he did some fucked up shit actually and I'm glad he was held accountable for it by the narrative and the fandom!!! But I think it's something to be said that at the end of the day, Duncan was still a child that was suffering from many type of issues before being recruited and manipulated by a powerful literal cult. Wizard101 does have a theme of malicious intending and less than responsible adults using children to get what they want (Malistaire, Morganthe's brother, GF Spider, GM Raven, coughcoughAmbrose) but unlike the Young Wizard who successfully stays true to themselves despite that, Duncan had a more Morganthe-like route and ultimately succumbed to it. Of course their situations are a lot different since the YW wasn't brought in by a cult, but you can't help but feel bad for someone so young being preyed on by older people who are supposed to look out for them and protect them from something just LIKE that.

I will always shit on Duncan because it's funny and hold him accountable for his actions because he should, but I also feel bad for him and I hope he had a better ending after he was defeated

[kaeyx]

Man, you really don’t like Fyodor, huh? Always some good Fedya slander on this blog XD

Anyways, I had a thought when I read that als about which bsd men would love to eat pussy and which are kinda ehhh when it comes to that. I’m super curious what you think about my take here.

Honestly, I believe Fyodor is the kind of guy who frowns and glares at you when you make sexual innuendos, and he’d feel a bit dirty doing anything other than a few minutes of mediocre missionary in-and-out under the covers until he cums (and falls asleep immediately. Sleepy-after-sex type of man.) Not a lot of foreplay, wouldn’t demand blowjobs (of course they’d feel good, but he wouldn’t like the act itself) and he isn’t grossed out by giving you head either, but the act feels wrong and depraved to him. Sex for him means P in V (he’s consistently praying the gay thoughts away), but my major point here is:

Fyodor is a raging sapiosexual. You could suck his dick and fuck his ass at the same time, shove a pair of tits into his face, do all you want— if he’s not attracted to your mind, he won’t get hard/turned on. Conversations that feel intellectually stimulating give him rock hard boners, tho. He only wants to fuck people he’d like to still hang out with afterwards, and people he can respect.

Honestly these are valid takes. It explains whatever the fuck is going on with Dazai anyway. I can imagine them sitting perfectly still staring at each other in Mersault having a conversation in their minds, both of them rock hard, death note style.

[limeade-l3sbian]

i’m not so much talking about whether you would like it or not, but rather: do you see yourself as a person who needs romantic companionship in your life eventually? obviously you won’t disintegrate without, but i’m talking needing as in for your psychological and physical well-being in the long run.

i’ve come to realize i cannot relate to this and people who aren’t able to go without being in a relationship are to me so strange, even though that honestly seems to be the norm. i don’t even want a romantic relationship. not to say i would be against falling in love and all that but i don’t dream of it and i certainly don’t crave it. i’m curious how you are in this regard? obviously i don’t know you, but you strike me a someone who functions well alone too.

i get that wanting romance is normal in theory but i don’t understand why.

there’s lots of other things i totally get the need for, but this and sex are two things that are on the same spectrum of inconsequential to me. that’s also why i’ll never be able to rightfully contribute to the celibate convo that’s been going on in radfem spaces in regards to heterosexual women, because even though i’m not asexual, i genuinely don’t get the big deal of living without romance and sex. people will say it’s unfair to ask that of anyone and i’ll think it probably IS for the average person, but to me it still seems totally unrelatable to not be able to live full lives without it. this isn’t a convo of to be or not to be celebate btw, i’m just adding it as an example of when this feeling of not needing romance has really shown it’s face in my life and hindered my, i guess, empathy? and that’s why i never join that convo bc i can see i’m the odd one out.

it’s honestly so embarrassing to an extent. i wish more people spoke of this but when i’ve tried to speak of it in some contexts elsewhere, i immediately get labeled all these different things like “aromantic” and “asexual” and i’m just not. i’m not against romance. it’s not that i can’t feel it. same with attraction and such. but it’s really easy to ignore for me, like no biggie. there’s so many other bigger more important emotions and experiences in my eyes. almost everyone wants romance and partnership but to me it just seems kinda tiring and risky. like why risk my peace for a thing that does in most cases end by breaking up for whatever reasons? it’s not me being scared of it but i don’t see the point of the effort i guess..

friendships i get and they are important to me. i don’t see them as replacements or anything for romance. i just value those more and i think they seem more genuine to me? i’m not in a situation where i couldn’t find safe partners bc i am bisexual with mainly attraction to women but even then i still have no desperation for love like that. if it happens, that’s cool but i’ve come to realize that if i don’t actively seek it out it’s pretty easy to go through your life without any romantic relationships in peace. obviously the same maybe can’t be said for ultra attractive people but for mediocre folks like myself, life is pretty peaceful in that regard unless i actively tried to put myself out there which i won’t lol.

it’s not like i hate seeing romantic stuff. movies or books with romantic plots can be super cute and enjoyable for me but i don’t crave those things in my life even. when i see it. i don’t sigh after it. it’s like seeing a video of someone trying bungeejumping. it looks fun and cool but i wouldn’t go out of my way to seek the experience out because my life is fine without it.

am i totally alone in this feeling i wonder

I think in recent years there has been a weird push for romantic relationships and what the "best version" of them looks like. And, to be honest, your assumption is correct.

I think I cared in high school I got swept up in wanting to date because teenage romance seemed so romantic to me. But now, as an adult, I feel no intense need to be with someone. I'm not asexual and I'm not opposed to love or sex, like you said. I just...don't care? I just care about having people in my life who I care about and who care about me.

And with the asexual thing. In an increasingly hypersexual world, I think people are quick to "other" those of us who just don't really care. So if you don't crave love and need sex, you must be asexual. Which is...false, on a lot of levels.

To be honest, this whole reply could just be me restating, "Like you said" lmao. You and I have a pretty mutual feeling about the whole thing. I'm at peace with the state of my social life. I don't feel any pressure to be married or to date or whatever. When it happens, it happens, and I go for it. But when things don't work out? I mean, that's just life, I feel like.

[heretherebedork]

I'd say Top is a way bigger red flag, he had the chance to tell Mew honestly about the fact that he cheated but didn't, got upset at Mew, and didn't believe him about the Ray situation, is just a dck to everyone for nearly no reason and also isn't honest with Mew at all even though they are dating or at least pretty much dating and wants a "reward" for stopping to take drugs whilst Boston is honestly only horny and a bad friend (no clue what kind of friend Top is, I don't even know if he has actual friends) to Mew and to some degree Ray (from the flashback he seems to have a good relationship to the lesbian whose name I forgot and he actually seems to be a decent fried towards Ray in there as well). Boston is pretty honest towards Nick in terms of their relationship of him caring for him but only really seeing him as a friend with benefits who he also thinks is cute (gotta say I think that Nick spying on him is the worse thing considering that Boston is at least honest, warned him and basically told Nick that he shouldn't agree with the relationship if he can't deal with all this).

tldr: Boston and Nick are kinda compatible. Top is just a dick towards everyone except for Mew from time to time. Ray needs to understand he actually likes Sand more than Mew.

Boston and Nick are compatible in that sense that they should date absolutely no one but each other, frankly, and I think that's for the best.

Top is a dick and I enjoy that about him, honestly. Might not want to fuck Boston anymore but happily does cocaine alone in a hotel room while claiming it's something he only does with friends. I love it. It's fun and messy.

But Boston is also only half-honest. He does tell Nick to use whatever terms he likes and will say basically anything to keep him in bed with him but, honestly, I think Nick would do the same to him so... I'm okay with it.

I am hitting the point where Mew is probably the least interesting character to me because everything is starting to point to him him genuinely just being this Good Guy Virgin who is manipulative but mildly so and I was hoping for something... more complex and messy than 'good guy done wrong by player' but ehhhh, that's just me. I was seeking evil virgin and I need to get over my own wishes.

Anyway.

Boston is Boston. He's a slut and he's proud of it and he is at the very least a mediocre friends but probably not a great one and Ray is a tiny disaster who needs so much therapy it's not even funny and Mew is... somehow friends with both of them

Ugh, Ray broke my heart at the end into pieces at the end when he realized that Mew wasn't the same kind of friend to him that he was to Mew and that's not even about the love he feels for him but also the way that he thinks of him first in his life and as the first person he'd contact any time he was in trouble. But that's not what Ray is to Mew and that's never what Ray can be to Mew. Mew was clear that nothing in their friendship was going to change. And that's hard to face.

There's a lot in this show that works with itself and builds on itself and it's very, very good to see and to watch. I just keep hoping for more from a few characters (okay, I mean Mew. I don't just want Mew to get revenge, I want Mew to have been manipulating all along.)

Anyway!

Yeah.

There's a lot. I think everyone is a lot less honest then they let on but also possibly less deliberately manipulative. Except Boston. And maybe Mew. And probably Top. (Who sleeps with someone after telling them to stop taking drugs without even giving them a chance to actually stop?) But I might be wrong about any of them.

[askmadcomcrew]

What did y’all do for Christmas? I hope y’all’s Christmas went well! :D what sort of gifts were exchanged? (If any)

Hank: Didn't do anything. Too busy.

Sanford: Couldn't really do much of anything. State of things as it is now, not much time to celebrate.

Deimos: Well it was pretty mediocre, honestly, considering the world is probably gonna end soon and we're all gonna die. Really not much to celebrate, like, at all. Maybe there will be better ones if this whole 'Staus Quo' thing works out.

Doc: Unfortunately due to my work I was not able to properly celebrate. Hopefully next year, if I can get my crew back together, and they do not try to kill each other, we can have an adequate celebration.

Tricky: I TRIED GIVING SOME PRESENTS TO SOME AGENCY GOONS, BUT THEY JUST STARTED SHOOTING AT ME!!! WHATEVER HAPPENED TO HOLIDAY SPIRIT!?

Jeb: No reason to celebrate for me. Hell wouldn't allow it even if I tried. It's just a constant struggle for survival, a constant loop of killing. Dying, waking up somewhere else, still more fighting. Christmas is the least of my worries.

Crackpot: We had a very buoyant Christmas! Me and my followers exchanged gifts and pleasantries, ate until our bellies were full and spent many hours floating in the waste waters of the mining sector.

Sheriff: We managed to have one, which is kinda a rarity in Nevada. We mostly just hung out, ate some decent food, a few gifts were exchanged but nothin' major. Sure as hell didn't get any work done, but hell, it's the holidays. Afterwards we went back t' regular MERC business.

Auditor: No time for holidays in the Agency. We will celebrate when Wimbleton has been dealt with. For now, the work continues.

Phobos: Quite difficult to celebrate any holiday as I aimlessly wander Hell itself. I assure you though, my return will bring about a much greater celebration.

[sharpth1ng]

I really like your idea on em both being rich kids lol, very interesting bc to me personally Billy is actually pretty poor. idk I mean I know we don’t see Tatum’s house or Randy’s either but the fact we never see a single thing about Billy’s sounds odd to me. Vs Tatum who has her own car and Randy with his odd collection of colorful (probably expensive) shoes.

there’s also the fact he’s on his dad’s income only who, from the real brief looks we got at him and the fact he slept with the town’s most likely ‘wellknown’ prostitute if that makes any sense, feels like some sleazy, struggling lawyer type.

I know in lore or whatever (wiki page lol) his dad is described as a powerful Woodsboro lawyer but considering this is the same lore that has Billy getting someone pregnant and can’t even decide the ages of the main cast I’m looking at in-movie evidence instead.

the only thing that kinda tips it to him being richer imo is the mobile phone he drops, or more precisely his dad’s phone - but even then it’s again his dad’s and not his own one. his dad who likely would need it as a work expense, but can’t afford to buy his son one and doesn’t care to.

anyway that’s my entire crackpot theory (I have even more but I wanted to spare your ask box from this already long thing) just to say that I really like your take on him being richer too

Hey thanks! My own personal theory dump below:

I've seen a lot of takes with poorer Billy. Tbh I think based on what we see in the movie it can go either way, we just don't really have the info. Also, not to nitpick, but we do see Tatums house, that's where Sid sleeps over after Billy gets arrested and there's also a breakfast scene there in the morning.

To me, Randy is actually probably the least wealthy member of the group, he's the only one that we know has a job, and the shoe brands (mostly hush puppies) he's wearing mostly wouldn't have been super expensive.

In my opinion we don't see much of Billy's home life because we don't see much of the real Billy at all until the reveal at the end. We only see as much of Stu's as we do because the finale takes place in his house, and imo more of Billy's home life would have made him more obvious. I have to imagine his room is full of horror merch lmao.

Honestly I don't really read Hank the same way as you do though. Maureen isn't a prostitute (not that theres anything wrong with sex work), she's a housewife with an extremely wealthy husband (aside from Stu's house Sid's seems like the biggest), so I don't really feel like the affair says anything about relative wealth.

In terms of the lore, tbh I don't actually think it's totally out of character for Billy to get a random girl pregnant. I chose not to do this in Debaser because I've decided to not make Sam canon in my own work, but I could totally see him deciding he needed to "practice" with some girl before Sid. I think he probably hooked up with her at a party, had a mediocre time, and never spoke to her again because he's an asshole. Not at all joking this seems fully in character for me.

My personal hc is that Nancy was a housewife, so Hank would have been carrying the family on a single income anyways. Even if we assume that she was working before and they lost that income, then they would have only been on a lower income for a little over a year, so I don't really see that as the makings of a poor Billy.

Also, we know from scream 2 that Nancy had enough money to get major plastic surgeries (enough that she was unrecognizable to Sid) and also paid for Mickey's tuition, so that's going to be hundreds of thousands of dollars. On top of that she's not working during the events of scream 2, she's doing the fake reporter thing. Based on that Nancy Loomis is either a rich girl by birth, someone who had an extremely high paying job before, or she got a lot of money in the divorce, which would require Hank to have had a lot of money to give.

In terms of the cell phone thing- cells weren't super common for teens to have in the 90's, as far as I can tell one of the first movies that shows teens having cell phones is clueless, which came out in 1995, so it doesn't necessarily say much to me that Billy doesn't have his own in the movie.

In terms of Hank, when we see him he's wearing a nice suit, it's up to date with trends in 96', meaning he's got enough money to be staying up to date with his wardrobe and suits aren't cheap. Other wardrobe hints include Billy's white shirt being Calvin Klein, not a cheap brand for a plain white shirt. If Billy is less wealthy he's more likely to be wearing Hanes. At the very least I, a relatively poor person, am buying the cheapest white shirts I can. I get that shit in a five pack from walmart, I don't have the expendable income to spend over 50$ for a single shirt.

All of this is to say that at least for me it doesn't make a lot of sense for Billy to be poor, especially with what we know about his mom in movie 2. But thats not why I chose to make him rich.

Why Sharp chose to make Billy a rich kid:

So i've seen a number of takes where Billy is poor and Hank is extremely abusive, and that was something I wanted to avoid. In some cases this can feel to me like the poverty and physical abuse is meant to explain his behaviour and that feels a little oversimplified. I specifically chose to make Hank neglectful, judgmental and argumentative (emotionally abusive) but not physically abusive. It doesn't always take more than that to fuck someone up, and I also wanted Billy's rage to come from somewhere else, to be a little less obviously justified. His life isn't easy, but he still has privilege.

In terms of the wealth issue, Billy's character reads more as an entitled rich kid to me. He's out of touch with the emotional stakes of the things he's doing and beyond that he's got the time and energy to plan and carry out a murder spree like this.

I personally chose to write Billy as someone who doesn't experience a lot of consequences for his actions because his dad can pay them away, which he does because Billy has an effect on his professional image as a lawyer. This was particularly important for my trans Billy storyline, because the money would be necessary both to access black market hormones (would have been near impossible to get them prescribed at the time) and also because Hank would have needed to bribe the cops and the hospital to keep quiet so Billy wouldn't be outed.

Aside from that though I just think the rich boy no consequences thing plays well into how unafraid he is about what he's doing and how casually he does it. All of this is just my take though! There are lots of ways to read the movie and I made character choices about him so that they fit into the narrative I'm crafting, doesn't need to work for anyone else.

I always enjoy chatting movie theories!