#it’s just going to tear me down more than any positivity can uplift me

[polyamorouspunk]

Idk I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again but the fatal flaw of tumblr blaze is that sometimes humanity is not inherently good but inherently evil and selfish. You click on a blazed post about people promoting a project they’ve spent months on usually like a book or a comic or a store that’s something like a love letter to the queer community and the comments are just filled with people saying shit like “go kys” and “I don’t care about your shitty project I hope it flops” etc. etc. I’m not saying every post is like that, I mean I haven’t see a lot of negativity when people blaze pictures of their animals but the idea of blazing something I’ve worked really hard on and want more people to see is great until I click on other people doing that and I’m met with the most vile comments I’ve ever seen in all my time on tumblr.

[simlit]

ALL OF THEM FOR EIF YA BITCH

first of all, how rude.

What's something about your OC that people wouldn't expect just from looking at them?

His resilience. Eifra is constantly seen as an easy target, and physically, he's not particularly strong, but he's endured a lot and has the ability to bounce back from just about anything.

What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

His kindness. It's the one thing he's most taken advantage for. He's aware of it, and people constantly warn him, but I don't think even he would choose to be different.

When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

All of the above lmao. Depends on the threat. He does naturally frighten easily, but he's also a very seasoned hunter. Even if he's afraid, he has the ability to temper his nerves to withstand a fight, but if he knows it's a fight he'll lose, he'll happily flee.

How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

Eif would never endanger others, but he would put himself through a world of pain if he thought it would help someone he loves. Again, all depends on the context.

How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

Not... easily. He would have to be put in a very precarious position, to know it was his only option, or if someone's life depended on it. But he's also not so much of a goodie two shoes that his moral compass is swung so far to one side.

What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Ah, this is a fun question. I think I mentioned before I actually intended for Eifra's PoV to only exist as an introduction to Zeh's. But instead he became pretty much the defacto protagonist and narrator for the sequel. I didn't expect to love Eifra as much as I did, and I got attached to him, both as a writer, but also through Zehel. In the same way that I fell in love with Yeryn's romance, Zehel and Eifra's relationship *is* the main dynamic of Arcaen'vel. Eifra is Zehel's crux. He's his driving force and he pushes both the plot and Zehel's character development forward. I went in thinking Zehel would be the main character in what I thought was his own story, but Eifra really had another plan (though I'm sure if I explained it that way to him, he'd disagree and hold Zeh's pedestal that much higher lmao). The two share the spotlight in different ways. But if you asked me like three years ago if I thought the successor to Yeryn's line would be some random hybrid kiddo I'd have slapped your face.

Would your OC ostensibly be able to get away with murder?

NO lmfao. Eifra would never just commit murder. But he certainly wouldn't have the braincells to get out of it if he did.

Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

Yes! Zehel's theme for Eifra is "A Sky Full of Stars" by Coldplay, and I can literally not listen to this song without thinking of him. "Cuz you get lighter the more it gets dark, I'm gonna give you my heart."

What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

Tbh, I think Eif would work in any AU, but I'll have to choose the most boring and say I'd love to see him in a modern storyline with Zeh. Just because Eifra adapts so well to our timeline.

What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it?

Bow and arrow. He can hunt well regardless, but his arrows are also the only way he can channel dragonfire. It's the only defense he has, not having been born with arcane magic.

Is your OC self-destructive? In what ways?

Yes, and no. I think he sometimes gives too much of himself away, but I wouldn't say he's actively tearing himself down. But he'd be willing to let people walk all over him if it'd make them happy and that's not a particularly healthy way to live, either.

If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

Probably LOL. I mean he's a much MUCH better person than me, but his self-deprecating humor is so relatable. He's a really uplifting person, which is actually the type of person I most enjoy being around, but he does lack the petty shittalk side I require my friendships to have so that I may thrive lmao.

How does your OC want to be seen by other characters?

I don't think he much cares how other perceive him, but I think he'd like his friends to see him as reliable. Someone that can be depended on, even when things get difficult.

Does your OC have a faceclaim? If so, who?

We all know I don't do real human face claims, but I do have an artwork I pinned ages ago that encapsulates his vibes down to his stature and dress style, the only thing off about it is the hair, otherwise really spot on: here.

What is your OC's pain tolerance like?

Surprisingly high. Eifra has been through... shit. And he's conditioned himself for things most people have never had to. He's been forced to survive most of his life, and I think that gives someone a lot of internal strength. He also has an incredibly good hold of his mental. In a situation where he knew he'd have to endure something to save someone, he wouldn't even miss a beat.

Is your OC more cold and detached or up close and personal?

He's very personable, but honestly he understands people wanting space. He gets attached to Zehel so easily because he feels like he owes him his life (he kind of does lmao), so it's a bit of specific situation. Normally, Eifra is the type to only approach if asked, but he'd always be able to reply. He's incredibly charismatic.

How does your OC behave when enraged?

I think Eifra has only been truly angry a handful of times in his life. Only once severe enough to have some physical repercussion. Usually he lets things slide off him, and doesn't get caught up on negative feelings.

Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

Unsurprisingly not at all lmao.

Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?

Neither, but I suppose in the context of their world, he's sort of "broken". He's half elf, half dragon, but he was born magicless, and his wings never developed properly. He's also not able to shift into dragonform, which is usually something that gets bred out over many generations. As he's a "first generation" mix, this is exceedingly odd. He's the only known halflyn to have one dragon parent and not be able to shapeshift.

What character alignment would you consider your OC to be?

Lawful/Neutral Good

What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

Desire. Eifra has an incredibly difficult time asking for anything, even if he needs those things to actually survive. He feels embarrassed and burdensome to ask favors of others, and hates to be indebted to them. He constantly sees himself as a weight holding back his friends, and would rather starve than to ask for money for food or anything similar.

What is your favorite thing about your OC?

His tenacity. Eifra is such a hard person to keep down, and even though I find these people really annoying irl, I think in stories, juxtaposed characters like Zeh, they become so much more likeable, and important. I think Eifra has a lot of qualities I gravitate to, but being in Zehel's head for almost four-hundred pages, my love and violent need to throw my life on line to protect Eif at all costs is so deeply engrained in me LOL. Zehel really following in Daddy's footsteps by being the world's second biggest simp, only in his case it exists within a platonic friendship, and honestly, I think it's the most fitting storyline I could have written for him.

[loversgothic]

Maybe you've done it already and I missed it, but what would Gabriel's two-week-notice look like in the Ultradanse AU?

This has nothing to do with any other comments you have made about feral Gabriel or any other desire to see how he changes from The Gilded Nightingale to The Nightingale.

:3c. OOOHH. WELL

ive been really trying to think about that hard, since comparing the characters to those in fairytales and ballets tended to skew the story a bit.

and uh... my descriptions wont be the best.. im not the best at explaining things in ballet terms moreso just based on my perception of the art form and what i see in it through my eyes.

also im gonna go off of the concept that ultradanse is almost like a stage performance, a show

the most i can do to describe how it looks is to compare it to my vision for the first encounter with Odile/V1... because of the way i designed his lil costume he has a sort of princely look, and even though hes yknow. out to kill V1 because V1 traversed past his warnings, his dancing with V1 then is much more... poised. it might feel a bit distant, maybe it might even seem like hes unsatisfied doing it, as at the time there is no personal connection with V1, no love nor hatred. its not romantic, hardly so. i dont know if this is a good example, but i was thinking abt Prince Siegfried's dancing in Waltz: Tempo di valse...

once V1 is pretty much responsible for his 2-week notice, i like to think Nightingale/Gabriel starts to match V1's high energy, his grace is kinda going out the window... itd be much more intense. if its a pas de deux hes probably getting his fucking hands all over them like hes about to tear them apart. hes abandoning that princely facade. i feel like though in the second half a pas de deux between them would make them slow their pace. now that both of them are dancing together and able to match intensity, it starts to slow down into something more... romantic? yeah :3 i like to think this, this is where any romantic tension starts

now about how he changes from the gilded nightingale to the nightingale. you see... after their second encounter, Gabriel is convinced hes going to die, after all thats what he was told. once he returns from heaven, he seeks out V1 to ask of one final request. he doesn't want to die lonely, and asks V1 to dance with him until the final hour runs out. V1 has no reason to accept his request, other than something pulling at it do so and the possibility it could take a little bit more blood before he's gone. dancing together, progressively Gabriel becomes weaker and weaker.

i REALLY wanted to keep this secret for a scene i wanted to draw but honeeesttlyyyy i dont think its too bad if i share it. after all, im not sharing V1's feelings here. im sharing Gabriel's :3

i had this whole.. plan

my thing abt pas de deuxs is that. i like to find symbolism in the fact that traditionally, the male dancer is supposed to support the ballerina to be able to perform moves she typically wouldnt be able to on her own without someone holding her.

towards the end of their dance, V1 switches positions to hold and uplift Gabriel instead, who has this entire time been in the place of the male dancer. in his approaching final moments V1 lays him down on the ground. he's hardly moving, and V1 holds onto him, finding itself not wanting him to just... disappear.

now im still figuring out HOW i want this to work. but i thought abt V1 in desperation, grasping onto the sides of his helmet and ripping his helmet in half being the symbolic thing that sets him free. the thing about the gilded nightingale, is that the armor is the bird's cage. Gabriel's design in this AU only really has the helmet and no other armor, so it just... makes sense to me. this is what sets him free. how the transformation works though? i am.. still thinking about it. you might need to give me a bit to think about that

[trangenderstan]

Trangenderstan ramble series

I am feeling very extremely sentimental this evening so here we heckin go (shoutout to tumblr user unearlthyfromage whom i am too scared to tag)

I love Stanley’s character development. It’s so amazing in so many ways and nearly perfectly executed. Today i’m crying about one thing and one thing only

THE WAY ALL OF THIS IS SO SO LIFE-CHANGING FOR HIM

“Oh but Arsen of course its life-changing that’s what the show is about” HEAR ME OUTT!!!!

Ever since Stanley was a child he was hurt. Badly. By other people. A huge part of his character is the way he easily slips into a persona. We see it multiple times in the way he talks about himself (By day i was Stanford Pines, Mister Mystery! But by night, i was down in the basement trying to bring the real Stanford back) and just in the general visual language of his character.

And i think a huge part of that persona is just how badly insecure he is. You cannot hate this man more than he already hates himself. But the thing about that is, there’s only so many personal blows you can take in your life, even if you’ve already given up on how you view yourself. It’s been repeatedly stated that Stan is craving positive attention, but he’s just too bad at actually getting people to like him. So he creates this persona that simultaneously shields him and uplifts him. If he is praised, it’s “Oh well i did that! Hell yeah!”. If he’s berated, hated, scolded, cursed, then it’s “Oh who cares, it’s not the real me anyway suckers!”

That persona is such a huge part of his character and is so deeply-rooted he even uses it on Ford a couple times in his teens (namely the swingset scene. Look at how Stanley is smiling throughout, but then falters the moment Ford leaves), it’s only natural that he’d use it around people who genuinely want to help him. Soos, Wendy, Dipper, Mabel - all of them are still faced with that fake side of him all throughout season 1

(i have some beef with The Legend of the Gobblewonker here but all writers make mistakes and no show is perfect)

He cares about them deeply, he spends time with them, but he never gets personal. He never really lets himself slip and just enjoy everyone’s presence. Every minute spent in the room with so many people is every minute he has to have that persona up and shielding him from any sudden criticism his way

BUT THEN THE ENDING. AND THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON 2. GOD FUCKING DAMN IT.

I don’t know how many people noticed how goddamn important this scene is to show his character development. Sure he’s still closed-off and gruff and denies he’s going to miss them, but the bets are off. He isn’t hiding his true feelings at all. He’s crying and while that happened some times in the show, it’s never been shown properly. With drawn tears and everything MAN

Hes just so totally changed by all these people that come into his life. People that finally get through to him with all their collective effort. And i imagine helping him regain his memories did the last of it

All i want is for this guy to get infinite hugs and love and affection and let him do his silly little crimes and then bail him out of jail with a noogie and a “silly knucklehead” god fucking damn it IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

[thetoxicgamer]

Evercore Heroes’ PvE format isn’t “easy,” so ignore the skeptics

The competitive PvE environment is Evercore Heroes' key differentiator. The gameplay is different from Riot Games' MOBA League of Legends in that you face off against enormous AI bosses in a race to the finish line that is more reminiscent to the World of Warcraft Race to World First competition.How have players responded to Evercore Heroes' format, which is extremely different from anything we've ever seen before? I questioned Trey Douglas, director of marketing operations at Vela Games. When Evercore Heroes was first revealed, Vela Games’ CEO and co-founder Travis George told me that the team doesn’t “even try to put a genre label on it,” instead just describing Evercore as “its own thing.” It makes a lot of sense, given there’s PvE elements, mixed with the traditional PvP MOBA setting, and even some MMORPG features thrown into the mix, too. It’s certainly quite the chimera, but given the relative similarity to League of Legends, I wondered how battle-hardened LoL ranked demons would take to Vela’s PvE experience. “There’s been a little skepticism in some areas, concerns that no PvP will somehow make the game lesser,” Douglas tells PCGamesN. “But that’s really half the point of Evercore Heroes; we believe that there’s a strong market for cooperative play and generally, our community has pushed back on that narrative that we need PvP to be interesting. “I think that, for some people, they equate PvE with ‘simple’ or ‘easy’ and that’s just not the case with us – even before you consider the competitive element at the core of the experience! But we really believe that deep, masterful, cooperative PvE experiences can be just as intense as any game out there.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnKHUSkjh_U Yet, as a member of the Evercore Heroes Discord server, I can confirm that the game’s community has blossomed into something that’s pretty special. There’s a real buzz about the game, so I asked Douglas what it feels like to have accrued such an excited fanbase when the game isn’t even out yet. “We’re frankly blown away by how positive the response has been both from the press and the public,” he tells me. “On a personal level it feels very validating knowing that something the team has put so much love and care into has been received so well, it’s given us a big boost of confidence going into closed beta for sure.” “Without any hyperbole, this is by far the nicest community I’ve ever interacted with in my career,” he continues. “There’s so much positivity expressed by our long-term fans and it’s so fascinating to watch new people immediately align to that energy. “We’ll still face the occasional tough question but every interaction isrespectful so far. People are genuinely interested in what we’re up to and why we’ve made decisions, it’s really uplifting knowing that we can be transparent and get both a fair hearing on our ideas, validation on things that work, and good feedback on those that could do with some changes. “What’s clear is many of them feel that even with games they enjoy there’s less variety out there than the number of weekly releases would suggest. We’re just happy to see so many people enjoying their interactions and making new friends around the game.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIpA03rxnH0 I think that’s what makes Evercore so special – the friends you make along the way. As someone who has berated many a teammate in League of Legends, it feels like the PvE format is built for players to make friends instead of tearing each other down. The competitive element is a subtle yet important undercurrent, and that’s why I’m so excited to try out the Evercore Heroes beta later this month. Until then, I’ll have to sate my urge for all things magical by checking out some of the best fantasy games out there. Read the full article

[polite-pandemonium]

lately

so here is the short version of what has been going on: last month I made the decision to leave my job after (almost) five years and yesterday I handed in my notice after signing an offer for a new job on Monday. 

here is the long version: 

it feels like it all happened overnight but the truth is it didn’t. I have probably been considering what I am doing and where I am going for about a while now. last year, almost to the date, I wrote on here (and deleted) about my complicated feelings at hearing that my coworker was not only promoted, but about how our workplace had a longterm plan for her. no one, in all of my years, had never mentioned any kind of longterm plan for me; I felt unsettled, but told myself that they absolutely definitely had a plan for me, too. 

well, it turns out they didn’t. not really. 

I have decided not to go into detail about all of it, but the factors that contributed to my decision really come down to: 

• my day to day has evolved in a role that deals with numbers constantly. I hate numbers. I hate data. I hate math. I’m exhausted; it takes so much out of me to do my job every day that I don’t have the energy for any other avenues in my life, creative or otherwise, and it certainly detoured me from trying to go above and beyond at work. 

• I wasn’t committed to the development plan they did have for me; the thought of executing the action items exhausted me. I had lost my lust for it. 

• my longterm role at the agency was really up to me to dictate, yet every time I tried, i would bump my head against a ceiling I didn’t know was there. like I said above, there was no plan for me. when I asked what my next title would even be, they didn’t have an answer. when I asked how my role would change, they didn’t really know. I was told I couldn’t really ever hope to have a team of my own. ultimately, I was to put together my ‘blue sky’ approach and let them know what I wanted to do. 

so I thought about it and I decided I wanted to leave. it was time. 

the decision was not without its misery. I spent most of the end of July and early August crying. leaving is the single most difficult decision I have ever made and I did not take it lightly; it is also something I have been considering in earnest since March, when my mental health really started to take a nose dive due to the stress of my workload and my unhappiness with how my role had changed. I have spent more nights sobbing over this decision than I did when I was fired from my last job cause the company went bankrupt. 

the finding a new job part has been shockingly the easiest part of it. I was contacted by a recruiter on LinkedIn very casually last week and by Friday, I had a job offer in my inbox, for a much bigger company, with more pay, and a fresh new title. it’s ultimately a lateral move, but the team seems amazing and the job exciting. just the thought of being able to do it every day makes my stomach flip. 

the telling my work part has been awful. when I gave my notice yesterday, it was like I was telling them I was terminally ill. the silence that transpired was so loud. my manager said barely anything; she has barely said anything to me since. I got off the call and cried for an hour. 

the reaction and ensuing sadness has put a complete pause on any celebratory feelings I had. I feel like I am betraying them, like I am letting them down. I know it’s not a great thing for them to have me leave, but I was expecting...I don’t know, a slight bit of happiness for me? I guess I thought they wouldn’t be shocked. how can they not be shocked? was I really that good at hiding how unhappy I have become? did they really think I was going to leave the meeting about my future feeling uplifted? did they not see how I was trying to hold back tears the whole time? 

honestly, probably not. no one thinks about you as much as you do. I just wish I could feel lighter this week about something that is ultimately a really positive change in my life. I don’t think I should be this upset about leaving a job. I don’t think I should feel this sad about how sad they are and this concerned about how they feel about it. I have had the inkling for a while now that this job is no longer healthy for me and I think this proves that I am right. 

anyway. my last day is in a couple of weeks and then I go on vacation right after. when I return, I start my new job and a new chapter; one that is decidedly more upbeat. 

[luvyanfei]

anon said. ooo a new blog! can you do confession headcanons where xiao, childe, and scaramouche react to reader confessing to them and the aftermath of it? thank you!  

a/n. xiao’s is kind of terrible ;; ue ue gomenasai

“i love you, [character’s name].”

SCARAMOUCHE.

huh? is this some kind of a joke? if so, it’s definitely not a good idea to mess with his feelings like this, especially when he also shares the same sentiment. scaramouche is almost impressed by your boldness. not everyone has the nerve to confess their love for a harbinger in front of their own faces, after all. when he’s hit with the realization that you’re serious, he secretly pinches himself to make sure he’s not in a dream.

the sharp pain that comes with his nails making contact with his flesh affirms that this is real. he stifles back a genuine smile, choosing to stay calm despite the bliss he’s currently feeling. “i guess it can’t be helped. hmph, you should be lucky i’m rather fond of you as well, [name].” he says that, but he’s the fortunate one to have successfully stolen your heart before others can claim you for themselves.

unfortunately, his time with you is quite limited due to his affiliation with the fatui, so any fleeting moments are captured in photos from the kamera to look back on. he secretly carries a picture of you while he’s out of town on important missions so that he won’t miss you too badly. he fondly looks at your still, yet smiling face to cheer him up after a tough work while everyone else is asleep. well, almost everyone.  

“hmm, who’s that in your hands, scaramouche?” childe asks, gesturing to the photo the harbinger is admiring fondly. scaramouche rolls his eyes to hide his slight embarrassment and hesitates a bit before he answers.  

“oh them? their name is [name], my... sibling.” childe almost gapes in disbelief as he looks at the blue-haired man in shock. 

“you have a sibling? why didn’t you tell me? they’re so cute!” the 11th harbinger squeals in delight, which honestly irks poor scaramouche. he scoots away to give himself some space as he tucks the picture in his pocket for safe-keeping. 

“you didn’t bother to,” he explains matter-of-factly. “now if you’ll excuse me,” he stands up from his crouched position and dusts himself, “i’m going to take a walk, alone.” 

he wanders through a dark forest and grassy fields, until he finds himself standing on top of a cliff, the moon glowing brightly above. he peers up at the twinkling stars in the sky and imagines you beside him, watching the breathtaking view together. humming an unfamiliar tune to himself, scaramouche muses over the past and replays your confession over and over again. if he could, he would respond differently than he did before. 

‘i love you.’ those three letter words echo in his ears like a melody and he allows himself to smile. 

“i love you too, [name].” 

XIAO.

he automatically perks up an eyebrow in confusion. what? is it just him or did you seriously admitted you love him? xiao stammers for a brief second, no words spilling out from his partially open mouth. what is he supposed to say? “thank you?” “i love you too?” 

when he pulls himself together, xiao shakes his head and frowns. his answer is clear and simple: no. you mortals don’t understand just how dangerous it is to get close with someone like him - a yaksha. drowning in the brink of debt and despair, he doesn’t need you to suffer all the same. the dejected expression on your face pains him to a considerable degree, yet he convinces himself, this is for your own good. 

since then, he avoids you like the plague in hopes that your feelings for him will disperse into flames. you deserve someone better, someone who won’t place you in harm’s way, someone unlike him. out of kindness, you still visit him from time to time while you go and do your daily commissions, but your interaction is heavily tense and an air of discomfort seeps through your gaze. why does his chest hurt as if he was impaled with a knife and so much more when you look at him like that? the thought of breaking down and revealing the truth that he’s also in love with you tempts him eagerly, but his pride and anxiety tides over his desires. 

you, on the other hand, is aware that xiao harbors feelings for you. you discovered this secret of his when you climbed the stairs to the spot on the balcony where he was to surprise him with a greeting, but your ears captured a faint voice in the night breeze and you couldn’t stop yourself from eavesdropping on the little conversation xiao was having with himself. he muttered about “rex lapis”, the fate of liyue, and etc. you were about to leave him to his own devices, but the next words he said stopped you in your tracks. 

“will [name] accept me if i say i love them? probably not, i suppose.” you left before he could spare a glance in your direction and a smile graced your features as you happily walked away. and being the persistent individual that you are, you inquire verr on why he’s acting so cold towards you, desperate to seek the answer you need. “xiao is, as you’re well aware, a yaksha who’s experienced hardships throughout his life, and probably lost loved ones along the way. i’m sure,” she turns to look at the setting sun in melancholy, “he doesn’t want to hurt anyone important to him again.”

you plan ahead of time for the best way to approach him without giving him any chance to escape. unfortunately, this is the only thing you can think of as you place a hand on either side of his head, trapping him between you and the wall. xiao looks at you curiously, devoid of amusement. he crosses his arms and frowns. 

“what are you doing?” your hands twitch and you chew on your bottom lip nervously before you explain yourself.

“i heard from verr why you’ve been giving me the cold shoulder, that you don’t want to hurt anyone important to you, but...” you trail off to blink back the tears threatening to burst. 

“it hurts, when you ignore me like this.” your voice is quiet enough that he needs to step closer to hear you. “it hurts how selfless you are. can’t you be selfish just once? i meant what i said and i’ll say it again. i love you.” 

xiao stammers, at a loss for words, before he starts sniffling and buries himself in your arms, crying out apologies as you stroke the back of his hair and gives a closed-eye smile. “it’s okay, xiao. i’m sorry too, for not realizing how much you’ve been suffering by yourself. you don’t have to carry the burden alone anymore,” you say, looking into his tear-filled eyes, “i will always be here with you, no matter what path you choose to take.” 

“even if that path may eventually hurt you?” he whispers in a cracked voice, fingers curling around your sleeves. you nod. 

“it’s worth the pain as long as i can hold you in my arms, like this.” he chokes out a bitter chuckle and wipes away the glistening tears. 

“i love you too, [name].” 

CHILDE.

the harbinger blinks his cerulean eyes once, then twice, and... you find yourself pulled into his arms, as his lips uplift into a jovial smile. “really? you love me? [name], i had no idea you held such deep admiration for me.” you playfully roll your eyes and chuckle as you wrap your own arms around his body, fondly reciprocating his affection.

he’s the fastest to accept your confession than the other two men. you’d bet he would scamper to where he’s staying at to tell every grain of detail to his adoring relatives. 

he writes letters to his siblings about your daily dates and the progress you two are making in your relationship. they tease him for the most part, but they’re happy that he’s found the love of his life and requests that he bring you along with him on his next visit. childe smiles in relief, content that they accept you already despite never meeting you and he asks you if you’d like to come with him to his home country where you can introduce yourself to his family. without hesitation, you agree instantly, eager to meet the siblings he gushes about. 

snezhnaya is colder than you thought, as you hug yourself to preserve your warmth, even with the layers of clothing wrapped around you. “we’re almost there, [name].” childe notices your trembling and rubs his gloved hands against your back. “sorry, it’s a bit chilly here, but please bear with me.” 

you nod and continue on. when a building enters your field of sight, childe stops and grins shyly at you. “this is the place.” breath materializes in front of you as he gestures for you to head on in. almost immediately are you greeted with a little embrace as a young boy wraps his fingers around your waist and grins up at you. 

“so you’re the one who big brother said he’s in love with? have you kissed before? when is your wedding?” the child bombards you with questions excitedly and a girl has to pull him away from you, tonia, you guess. 

“teucer,” childe scolds gently, a light blush colouring his cheeks, which does not go unnoticed in his siblings’ eyes, unfortunately for him. 

a wedding, huh? seeing the sparkle in your eyes, the laughter in your voice, and the warmth of your touch as you idly chat with his siblings makes him hope, that maybe in the distant future, he’ll brave himself to take the next step to further deepen your relationship, for he wants to be with you always. 

as he tucks away the last sleeping child, childe wanders in to your shared bedroom, surprised you’re still awake. “you really love them a lot, huh childe?” he nods seriously, as you pull him to lie down comfortably into bed. 

“but do you know something else?” his breath tickles your ear as he intertwines his fingers with yours, offering a meek smile. you shake your head and nuzzle closer to him. 

“i love you too, [name].” 

[fabricated-misslieness]

pairing: zen'in maki x gn reader

req: no | wc: 1.01k

a/n: i love her, might be ooc

There was always something about Maki that attracted you to her.

Not attracted in the way one would be to an idol, nor in the way one would with someone who shared their interests. You didn't want to become her friend –well, you did, but you also wanted something beyond that.

Perhaps this feeling she caused in you, one that had only ever sparked around her, was a crush.

You liked her, you really did, though this void in your knowledge needed to be patched. You wanted to know what it was that attracted you to her.

It was not her beauty, that's for sure. While Maki was beautiful in her own ways, the average man would not exactly call her attractive. It was not to say that she was unattractive, but she wasn't one to spark an interest in a stranger specifically because of her looks. And while she did interest you at first sight, it was not her looks that did.

Although eventually, it was the cause of your sweaty palms. The moments you glanced her way were spent admiring her, the subtlety of her smile, the way she tucked a hair behind her ear to keep away from her vision as she read, and the soft furrowing of her eyebrow as she deciphered Inumake's words.

It wasn't her expertise, either. She may be skilled and she may deserve a position higher than that of a 4th grade sorcerer, except you were sure that wasn't what made you feel butterflies. This attraction had spiked before you had gotten to know her expertise.

Except, eventually, it was the cause of your warm cheeks. You admired her smirk she held when she knew this battle was already won, the smile when she found a challenging opponent, and the way she twirled her weapon as she held her head high over a defeated enemy.

It wasn't her attitude. It wasn't the way she treated her friends, underclassmen, or upperclassmen. After all, she treated you just the same as anybody else. Maki didn't have biases, she didn't treat anybody differently. She was blunt and tough on everyone, and some may find it undesirable, but it did not change the way you saw her.

Though, eventually, her attitude softened around you. She did not regard you with the same hard looks she did anybody else. When her gaze fell upon you, she smiled gently. She let herself loose around you, often talking about her favorite subjects and her wondrous interests with an excitement incomparable to any you've seen.

And maybe it was her personality. She lived and trained to spite her family. She was determined through and through to be a good sorcerer, the title of 4th grade did not deject her at all. She knew how to act under pressure, and no matter the trouble, she persisted. She was headstrong, knowing her right from wrong.

Eventually, she was someone you looked forward to being around with. The longer you got to know her, the more you knew of her. She had built high walls, and she let you break them down. Maki was tough, but with you, she allowed herself to show her emotions.

There were many things to like about her. All that you'd noticed and all that you analyzed seemed plausible and implausible at the same time. You searched and searched, only to find nothing.

So when she invites you to a picnic under the newly blossomed sakura trees, you have to accept. At first you thought she would have invited the other second years, but upon arrival, you found her alone.

In all the time you knew her, you’d never exactly been alone with her. There’s always been a classmate around the corner, or a person in the background. To be completely alone with her… it was exciting yet scary.

Yet you couldn’t find yourself talking.

“It’s beautiful.” Maki remarks. Of course, she doesn’t seem as nervous as you.

“Yeah.” You agree in a tone barely audible. Why were you scared anyway? It wasn’t like you would blurt out your feelings for her or-

“Are you going to confess to me yet?”

You spit out your drink, thankfully off to the side, and -unfortunately- snap your eyes over to meet hers. “PFFF- I, uh-!”

She doubles over laughing, punching at the ground. It brings an awful burn to your cheeks, one that lasts for as long as she keeps laughing, which is a damn long time.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” She wipes the tears from the corners of her eyes and clears her throat, finally looking back at you with a sudden seriousness. Still, you can see the joy in her uplifted lips and eyes. “Don’t worry, I like you too.”

She grabs your hand then almost drops it immediately, “I’m sorry, can I hold your hand?”

“You sort of are… already.”

“Right,” She laughs nervously, a word you’d never thought would describe her. It dawns on you that she probably doesn’t know much about love either. She clears her throat once again, “It’s just you’re really cute, and I often catch you staring at me, and I’ve always wanted to tell you, but I’ve never had the guts. I love that you can put up with my ranting, and my tough attitude, and unlike everybody else, you never make me angry-”

“Stop…” You were convinced that the burning of your cheeks would never stop if she kept going.

“Huh? What is it?”

“You’re… embarrassing me.” She laughs again, though much shorter yet still lively.

"Sorry." This time, when she ceases, her eyes brush over your features.

At some point, they look down, down at your lips. Tenderly, she cups your cheek with one hand, the other still holding on to your hand tightly. Slowly, she leans forward for a kiss. As the sparks tingle on your lips, you find a replacement for the answer you've been looking for.

Maybe you didn't need to know. Besides, in your journey to find out, you'd fallen in love with her entirety.

[darksuna]

🤍toxic

pairing: Suna x fem!reader

warnings: physical/verbal abuse, non-con, !R*PE!, kinda housewife relationship, sexist suna, mentions of forced marriage, misogynist suna, unprotected sex, (lmk if you find more!)

also be aware of: grammar and spelling errors. (mane, i got tired of this story. I wrote this on 3 different days)

Never in a million years would you’ve thought, you’d find yourself in this position; his heavy body covering your small form, his large hand muffling your desperate cries for help, while his other hand tightly locks your small writs above your head.

this’ gonna leave bruises you thought, but that of course was your smallest problem right now.

Nervously looking at the clock above the doorframe, you’re waiting for the sound of keys to chime. Today is the day. Today is the day, you’d finally gain your freedom and independence back, which you lost two years ago, after agreeing to date this man.

If you could erase one of your past mistakes it would be becoming Rintarō Sunas girlfriend, a decision, that turned your life to living hell.

The thought of being college sweathearts with an successful professional middle blocker might’ve sounded enviable at first, but the longer you’ve been with him, it was all the more doomed for you. The laid-back, funny and caring boyfriend turned into a moody, manipulative and unfaithful tyrant.

The worse part was your upcoming marriage your parents and you have arranged to uplift his career and seal the bond of your love , like your mother said. But of course you knew she was just after his money.

5 more minutes.

You play with the handle of your small suitcase as you desperately try to calm yourself down, your heart beating faster with every passing second.

Fuck. Should you really do this? Maybe you should just give up and live your life like you did before. As long as you behaved, Suna wasn’t too bad anyway.

,,Get your act together!‘‘, you mumble to yourself, as you light slap yourself in the face. You‘ve been planning this for the longest now, there is no going back!

Suddenly you hear keys rumbling on the door and the light in the hallways turn on. Wiping your sweaty palms on your thigh highs, you almost faint due to your anxiety.

As his footsteps get closer, you feel your head spinning. The dizziness making it hard to keep your composure.

,,Y/N?“, it chimed before a brown haired man enters the living room. His lazy hazel eyes mustering your anxious form sitting on the cold leather couch.

,,What‘s up with all that?“, Suna asks with his always bored voice, pointing at your luggage.

,,Hello Rin. I- I got something to tell you“, you stumble as confident as possible, tapping the free space on the couch, implying for him to sit next to you.

,,Can’t that wait? I‘m tired and fucking hungry. Those fucking sponsors talk way too much“, he groans annoyed, walking straight to your shared bedroom not paying you any mind.

Confused you twist your torso, to follow his actions with your eyes.

,,But Rin I-“

,,You still didn’t tell me why you got all them suitcases. Did you book a surprise vacation again? I already told you, vacation this time around is rather counterproductive.“, he cuts you off, casually taking off his tie as he looks at his tall form in the mirror. ,,Why don’t you ever listen?“, he sighs.

Standing in the doorframe, you nervously play with the hem of your skirt.

,,Rin, vacations are not what I wanted to talk about“, you mumble. Suna throws a quick questioning look at you, before looking back in the mirror. You take his silence as a sign to continue.

,,I‘m leaving.“

Raising an eyebrow at himself, Suna takes off his suit jacket and throws it on the bed, his shirt and pants following soon after.

,,Leaving where? To the supermarket?“, he asks ironically. He turns around, facing you but you immediately lower your gaze.

,,Don’t act like you’ve never seen this before. Why are you so weird today?“, he asks again, his voice filled with serious confusion and annoyance.

,,Rintarō, I‘m leaving you. For good. I just don’t think I can do this anymore“, you start anxiously waiting for an reaction, but nothing comes. ,,What we‘re doing isn’t good for neither you nor me. W-we‘re ruining the both of us and I just think..- I think it‘s time for us to set our li-“

,,Did you cook already? I‘m hungrier than a motherfucker.“ And again. He cut you off mid sentence again. Suna always does his, whenever he gets tired of your voice or as he says ,thinks you‘ve talked more than a woman should for the day‘.

,,What‘re you standing there for? Put my stuff back and prepare my dinner”, he demands, pushing you aside as he walkes back to the living room.

,,Also put those fucking bags away and go get me some sweatpants, stupid.” With a ,tch’ noise, Suna gave you one last despising gaze. With that, the conversation was over for him, but you couldn’t just give up, now that you’ve told him how you really feel.

,,See, this is why I wanna leave your raunchy ass!”, you yell, clenching your fists in anger. Suna stops his actions, replaying your words in his head.

,,The fuck did you just say?”

,,You heard me right, Rin! I’m so tired of the way you treat me! You’re always rude and mean to me. It’s like you despise me! Also you always come home late at night, acting like I don’t know you’re fucking, I don’t know how many bitches, outside and if you ever come home like today, all I get is you pushing me around like your fucking house slave! I’m tired of this Rintarō. I can’t do this no more!” Your breath is uneven by the end of your outburst.

As you realize what you’ve just said panic starts to take in the space of the previous anger. Suna was way too calm for your liking and that only means no good.

,,O my god, I-I’m sorry Rin! I didn’t mean what I just said, honestly!”, you stumble worried as you step forward and gently place your cold fingers on his warm biceps. You know the damage was already done, when you felt his large hand around your small neck, cutting off your air supply.

Your big eyes stare at his insane looking ones as his face is so close to yours, not even a sheet of paper could fit between you.

,,So that’s what you’ve been thinking about me, you ungrateful little slut, huh?“, Suna whispers threatening. ,,After all I‘ve done for you, letting you stay in this expensive ass penthouse, paying for your fucking slutty clothes“, he continues through gritted teeth, throwing your weak body on the floor.

Suddenly you feel his fist colliding with your face, a penetrating beep sound sabotaging your hearing.

,,Fuck, I‘m paying all your fucking bills and you wanna complain about me expecting food by the end of the fucking day?“, he hisses fake laughing as his hard fists constantly hit your small form.

,,Rin, please stop!“, you beg, scrunched up in a ball to protect your body as tears are forming in your eyes but those aren’t tears of pain. These are tears or utter shock. Rin was indeed moody and verbally abusive sometimes, but he never went as far as hitting you. Never.

Abruptly he stops, wiping under his nose with his fist. You lurk up from between your hands as you see him kneel over you, mustering your body.

,,You wanna know something?“, he mumbles absent. ,,You were right, I‘ve been fucking other bitches. You just became too prudish and all these easy cunts were just waiting to be fucked by me.“

His rough hand strokes the free space between your thigh highs and your panties. Confused you pull your eyebrows together, lightly flinching away.

,,But damn, I forgot how hot you actually are.“ His hungry hazel eyes pierce through yours. A cold shiver runs down your spine as you realize his intimation, but before you can react his greedy hands grab your thighs, pulling you towards him.

,,No, Rin! What are you doing?“, you ask scared.

,,Didn’t you just complain about me fucking other bitches?“, he repeats your words from earlier, ripping your panties apart.

You try to push his hands off of you, but he angrily grabs your wrists and pins them above your head. Again his flat palm collides with your soft cheek, leaving a stinging feeling on it. You gasp in shock.

,,Stop fighting, fucking whore“, he curses pulling his boxers down. ,,I‘m just giving you what you wanted.”

,,Rintarō, you don’t have to do this! I‘m sorry! I-I‘m so sorry but please-", you plead desperat. Tears are streaming down your face as you feel him adjusting yourself in front of you entrance. You try to press your thighs together, but Suna simply rips them apart with ease.

,,You asked for it, and you shall receive“, he hums before thrusting inside of you. A pained scream escapes your throat. His length stretching your dry insides to an painful degree.

,,Shut the hell up. I don’t need them nosy neighbors to knock on my fucking door“, he demands with a cold voice.

,,Rintarō, it hurts! Please stop“, you continue your pleas through tears but Suna continues his angry thrusts. He rolls on top of you, taking your abilities to squirm for freedom underneath hin.

,,You dumb slut, didn’t I tell you to shut that dirty mouth of yours?“, he asks irritated, slapping his large hand over your mouth.

,,Can’t stand your fucking voice“, he groans annoyed.

His thrusts are hard and steady, his cock continuously knocking at your cervix. You shake your head under his head as the amount of pain, physically and mentally, rises to an almost unbearable degree.

,,Keep acting like that and I‘ll fuck the shit outta you all night“, he threatens, his lazy eyes looking at yours so dangerously, you know he is serious.

His words weren’t even necessary to stop you from trying, your motivation to fight leaving sooner than you thought.

Grunting and moaning Suna rocks his hips into your tight cunt, enjoying every second of his power over you.

,,Look how cute you are, when you actually shut the fuck up. Dumb whore, who do you think you are?“, he asks. ,,Yelling at me, calling me raunchy,“ he chuckles outraged, ,,cursing up a strom and complaining about being my little house wife.“

,,You‘re a useless woman, only existing for male pleasure and wellbeing. A stupid fucktoy, a bimbo you are“, he mutters, his thrust becoming harder with each word.

Suna squeezes your cheeks, pouting your lips.

,,You understand that, you bitch? You’re mine. You belong to me and you’ll never leave me. Know your fucking place, whore!“ He throws your weak head back, your hope for help long gone.

,,Answer!“ He yells with a hard thrust.

,,Y-yes, I understand“, you pant, silent tears rolling down your temples.

,,Hm, good girl. Such a good little bitch for me.“

You stare at the ceiling counting the remaining thrusts until Suna shoots his load in you with a loud groan. He pulls his cock out of you used cunt, adjusting himself in his boxers.

,,Yo, I‘m still hungry. I want to see food on the table after I‘m done showering“, he demands as he‘s standing up.

,,And clean yourself up. You look fucking disgusting“, he mutters despicable, leaving you undone, his sticky liquids running down your bruised thighs and the sensation of his rough touches still on your body.

Maybe, just maybe, you should’ve changed your mind, before he came home.

© all rights belong to darksuna. do not copy or modify.

[berserkchip]

I see a lot of work/job bashing on Tumblr, which is fair, but...

I feel like an enormous chunk of why jobs, working, and specifically bosses and employers suck so much is because no one quits. (in the US anyway) And look, I’m sure there are small towns in the Midwest or food deserts where there aren’t a lot of jobs available and not a lot of options, but even in areas where that ‘isn’t’ the case, people still don’t quit.  Like, guys, it’s okay to quit your job. It’s okay to say fuck you and leave. 1000%. You don’t need to go out of your way to find another job before quitting, either. You don’t have to balance job hunting or interviews with your current job, and you certainly don’t have to temporarily work 2 jobs while you finish up your two weeks of your other job. You can just quit first.  I was stuck in a horrible, terrible, awful dead-end job for 5 years of my life. It was supposed to just be a part time gig while I finish school, but then they promoted me, and I decided to focus on them more. it was the biggest mistake of my life. They took up all of my time, they exhausted me and beat me down emotionally and mentally with impossible tasks and insane hours, (working till after midnight then coming in at 6AM sharp the next day) all the while allowing the building to slowly fall apart and endanger both customers and employees without care for either. And despite all of that hard work and dedication, I was never given any raise or even so much as a sign of appreciation for anything I did. They treated me as nothing more than a cog in a machine, and I started to think of myself as such. I lost track of weeks of time. I got nothing done and hung out with none of my friends. I lost sight of who I was as a person. I was a zombie.  The way they failed to handle the pandemic was the last straw, and I should have quit years ago, but I was genuinely painfully scared to confront my boss and put in my two weeks. Despite how much I hated them and how much stress and anger that job was causing me, actually telling my boss that I needed to leave was like tearing off a limb.  Why, I ask you? Why did I feel this way? And why were there so many people there that had been working so much longer than me, who had it much much worse? Why did they never quit? After over a year of being jobless, I finally got the courage to start applying again, and my current job has been amazing. They’re flexible with hours, understanding, and incredibly uplifting with praise and appreciation. The work that I put in is met with actual positive reinforcement and gratitude. It’s like night and day.  Anyway, the point I’m trying to get across is that there ‘are’ good and bad jobs. Yes, overall, capitalism is... well, you know. But there’s also bad companies, bad staff and bad employers. And these people will continue to exist so long as we allow ourselves to believe we can’t just quit and find somewhere else.  I promise you. You can quit your job. You just can. Fuck whatever anyone else tells you. If you’re going home crying or screaming in anger every night, quit. If you feel like the building you’re working at is like a prison, leave that building and never go back. If you feel like you’re punishing yourself by staying at your job, stop staying at that job. 

I think there are also people who stay jobless for long periods of time because they’re afraid of getting stuck somewhere they hate. But like, if you hate it, just quit, so there’s nothing to be afraid of : ) If you’re reading this and you’re working at some shitty job that you hate to the point of tears, get up right now, call them, tell them you quit, do NOT put in your two weeks, just fucking don’t go back. And start applying elsewhere. You don’t need the referral of a toxic job. Start from scratch if you have to, resume-wise. A good employer/boss will recognize experience day 1.  If everyone did this, maybe we could make a dent in how many toxic shit hole jobs their are, because maybe these companies and bosses will finally get a clue that they’re the ones who need to change. 

[nanamismoonchild]

 pairing: CEO! Namjoon x black Assistant! Y/N

genre: fluff, angst, boss/employee relationship, f2l

warnings: mention of racism/discrimination in workplace, very indirect mention of domestic abuse

Summary:   Losing your job was one of the worst things that could possibly happen to you. Bills started piling up, and soon enough you were in complete debt.  By a miracle, you were offered the position of assistant to the CEO of Persona who turns out to be a real sweetheart.

WC: 5.6k--i think this is the most i’ve written. i could’ve written some more but ya girl was losing that thing called inspiration. 

A/N: This fic is the definition of what a Hallmark movie is. First it takes you on a straight-forward path then BAM! But you gotta love them for that.  Remember was originally supposed to be called Deceiving the Moon, but I changed the plot entirely into this one and I can’t but love this version more so now it is Remember. And I hope you’ll remember to enjoy it!

beta-reader(s)-- @birbdae​ thank you for the praise and the tiny criticisms bby. they made me smile! 

The pink paper slip seemed to burn your hand as you held it.  The tears in your eyes did nothing to persuade your boss of three years to keep you on the project that you held dear to your heart. The new girl he had hired to replace you couldn’t meet your eyes as she handed you the box filled with your personal belongings from your office space. 

“Oh, ____. Before you leave, can you email the final preparations for the toy drive? We would like to get started as soon as possible.”

The bastard smiled up at you as he practically ripped your heart to pieces. The toy drive had been your idea from the start to beginning. You were the program manager as well the assistant to the CEO who had wanted nothing to do with the project until he learned of the tax cut he was able to receive.  

Then he replaced and fired you. Now he was asking for your hard work that you manifested.  

You had dealt with a lot of shit regarding this company. Racist comments while being the only black woman on the team, being told you hair being in braids was not professional, and being paid the least out of everyone including the new assistant. Yet you had stayed. Your dreams of finally managing to pull off a huge event in your name had made you persevere and smile in the face of the evil work environment. 

The dream slowly crumbled as you stared at the assistant, the boss, and the pink slip. There was no way you would give him anything you had created.  

“No. Start the entire project yourself. I’m sure your new assistant knows how to program manage. I’ll be taking my toy drive elsewhere. I will not be letting the kids down because of your incompetence and willingness to fire me two months before the charity was supposed to begin. Fuck you.”

The CEO’s smile dropped quickly hearing those words. Perhaps this was a bad idea. But before he could retract his statement of firing the one person he knew he could count on, you left the office, head held high, middle finger in the air. 

 Three weeks later, the many jobs you had applied for had not replied to you, and your last paycheck from the previous job was slowly dwindling. If nothing came up soon, you wouldn’t be able to afford the rent for the next month. 

Your friends Seokjin and Jungkook offered to help; however, your pride was getting in the way and you would only use them as a last resort if you couldn’t find a job in time. 

For the time being, you tried to relax and avoid thoughts of the impending bills that threatened to pile up. 

Putting on a bonnet and pouring a glass of wine, you prepared to pamper yourself with a little Netflix binge. Seokjin had brought the wine as soon as he had heard about what happened. He worked at  Persona and couldn’t believe the unjust condition that had been forced on you. Persona was the best company to work at according to your older friend. He had once tried to convince you to apply there. Yet you hadn’t listened. There might not have been a chance to grow there seeing as many interns went there after graduating like Seokjin, and you prefer not to work with friends. As much as you loved Seokjin, you knew how childish he could be despite the mature attitude he tended to exude. You were the same way. Putting you two together in the same building was a catastrophe waiting to happen. 

The day he brought the wine, he told you the CEO--Kim Namjoon- was looking for a new assistant and would more than listen to your project proposal. 

Not to mention, he would pay you more than what you received at your old company. 

The idea tickled in the back of your mind as you sipped your wine. As much as you would have liked to work somewhere differently, the bills were waving at you in the distance and the employers you had contacted seemed to be uninterested. At least Seokjin could put in a good word for you. 

Picking up your phone, you dialed the number you knew well. 

“___! “ “Jinnie!” You could hear Jungkook in the background, yelling something that was unclear to you. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure? Do you need food? I just made those dumplings that you like so much. I could run them up to you.”

“Please. I haven’t eaten anything all day. But that’s not why I called. I want to know how to apply for the position of the assistant.”

Seokjin audibly gasped and made a sound keen to a squeal.  

“You apply by showing up tomorrow in your best business apparel at eight am sharp tomorrow at my doorstep so I can take you for open interview sessions. And bring your portfolio--no resume needed.”

“No resume?”

“Nope.”

“Oh...Alright. Eight am sharp. Best business clothes. Portfolio. Got it. Thank you Jinnie.” “No problem, __. Anything for Jungkook and I’s best friend who tends to steal our hoodies,” he said, a smile practically being heard through his voice.

“Those aren’t your hoodies anymore first of all. Second of all, I don’t steal. I borrow without the possibility of giving it back.  Third of all, bring me my food. I’m starving.”

“I’m already at your door. Open up. And Jungkook came here too. He brought that silly game of his.” Hanging up, you stand up to adjust your bonnet and the pajamas you had lounged in. You walked over to the door and opened it to see your friends’ arms full of snacks and games to play for the night. 

“We’ll be done with our mini get together for you to get enough sleep and prepare for your interview. Right now, we’re going to help you mope around,” Jungkook told you as both he and his older roommate stepped into your apartment.  

“Somehow I doubt it, but I’ll give you the time of day since you brought dumplings.”

All three of you laughed. 

 The next morning, the alarm blared at six o’ clock. Sitting up and stretching your limbs, you pushed yourself off the bed and into the bathroom. You needed to look your best for the interview and show you were the best candidate. And that started with a nice, hot shower. The lavender soap washed the stress off of your body and the water carried it into the drain. 

Jungkook had helped pick out your outfit while Seokjin had helped prepare your portfolio.Your hair was braided, and it was too heavy for you to set it into a bun of some sort, so you let it stay down and applied a little coconut oil.  

 Everything was ready and set. You were ready. 

At exactly eight o’ clock, you stood outside of Jungkook’s and Seokjin’s shared apartment. You could hear shuffling coming from right behind the door, alerting you that Jin was going to open the door. As he swung the door open, you leaned over to see a slightly disheveled Jungkook throwing on his backpack. 

“Late for class again?”

He grunted and moved past you. 

Jin laughed and locked the door before pushing you towards the exit of the apartment. 

“You ready for the open interviews?”

“I think so. Scratch that. I know so.” Your momma always told you confidence was the answer to everything.  

“You’ll wow Namjoon. You’re more than qualified and Namjoon could use your ideas. That’s why I said bring your portfolio.” “Thanks.”

 The drive to Persona was quick and easy. And loud as Jin played his favorite tunes and sang along to them. It uplifted your spirits and calmed some of the butterflies that blossomed in your stomach. You knew a lot about Namjoon from what Jin told you whenever he came home from work and bothered you. 

He was sweet and caring. His employees came first to him and took their opinions seriously.  Any criticisms anyone had was dealt with right away as a group or one on one. 

On one occasion, an employee’s car was destroyed because of her ex and she couldn’t find a way to work other than Ubers. It began to get too expensive, and she told Namjoon her dilemma. After a brief meeting, he was convinced to begin a carpool service for his employees at no cost to them. 

Your old boss was neither of those and only cared for the profits that came. If someone didn’t have a ride to work, it wasn’t his problem.

Namjoon’s handsome according to Jin. Tall, tan, and handsome had been the exact words Seokjin had said. Namjoon’s smile brightened everyone’s day when he smiled and nodded good morning to everyone. He always wore tailored suits--clothes fitting him to a T.   

You didn’t necessarily need these details for the interview, but knowing exactly what type of boss Namjoon would be would set your mind to achieve your goal of getting the job through any means. 

Seokjin walked you to the door of his boss’s office and knocked twice. A deep voice told you to come in.

The butterflies in your belly  picked up full speed. As you tried to calm yourself down, Jin opened the door. 

“Namjoon! ____ is here!” Jin announced.  

The man in particular was seated at a mahogany desk in a  leather chair that seemed much too small for him. As big as he was though, he exuded a calming aura, and not one of arrogance.  

He stood up, a huge smile spreading on his face. His dimples were pronounced and it made your heart skip a beat or two. Jin had not mentioned dimples. They were your weakness. 

“Thank you Seokjin. You can go get started on your work,” he dismissed the older man and turned to you. “ Hello,  Ms ___. A pleasure to speak to you today.” “Um, it’s my pleasure to speak with you as well.”

He circled around back to his chair, and motioned for you to take the chair across from. As you made your way over, you took in the decor of the office. It was bigger than your previous boss’s.   There were many statues that you knew were from the KAWS collection. You had a few yourself, but not as many as this man had. The statues were placed in display cases that were scattered around the room. The room was not stark white, and had small bouts of brown and orange around the room. It was unusually calming--helping those butterflies in your belly. 

Sitting down, you smiled at the man in front of you, not knowing how to start the interview. 

“So I presume Seokjin told you about the position and what I’m expecting, correct?”

“Yes, and I believe that I can do more than what you’re expecting of me.”

Namjoon nodded, “That’s good. An assistant who wants to do more is exactly what I’m looking for. My last assistant was an intern, and though she was great, I wanted a little more. I see you brought a portfolio. Tell me a little about what is in it.”

This was the moment you had prepared for. Even though you had anticipated it to be later in the interview, you knew exactly what to say.

“This portfolio actually contains some of the projects and the work I developed at my previous job. One of them includes a toy drive. I was fortunately able to keep the project for myself, and I planned on getting funding from a local bank in order to kickstart it again. The toy drive would consist of donations and toys I buy myself and giving it to domestic abuse shelters for the mothers and children-”

“When was this supposed to take place?” Namjoon interrupted, curiosity clear in his voice. 

“Oh, it was supposed to take place next month. December. It’s a time crunch but I believe I could do it. The other projects were for my boss who couldn’t be bothered to do anything for himself--Oh I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

“Completely fine.” He drummed his long fingers on the table, encasing them in silence for a while. 

You hadn’t meant to ramble on about the toy drive, but the passion you felt for the charity event was incredible. Your mother had owned a domestic abuse home, and the amount of women and children who had to spend Christmas hiding away was consistently on your mind. You wanted to do something for them. 

“___?” 

“Yes?” You steeled yourself for another question. 

“On the basis that you continue this toy drive, and it is successful--I have a feeling it will  be--the job is yours.”

You practically jumped out of your seat, grabbing Namjoon’s hand and shaking it in excitement.  

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! You will not be disappointed. I will be the best assistant to you and this toy drive means too much to me for it to fail.” 

Namjoon grinned, his dimples showing out again. “You can talk to Jung Hoseok in the HR department. He’ll get you ready to be an employee of Persona. I want you to work tomorrow morning.”

Nodding, you moved to stand up and leave before remembering to bow in respect. 

“Thank you so much.”

“No, thank you. Not only will I have some of this paperwork done, but I’ll be getting very good advertisement for the company. It’s a win-win.”

“Right. How much paperwork do you have exactly?”

“It’s been about two months since my intern left, so…” He trailed off, running a hand through his hair. 

“I’ll be here bright and early then,” you said giggling. “See you tomorrow.”

Closing the door behind you, you glanced around for your best friend. You found him near the coffee machine in the far corner. As you sidled next to him, you poked him, making him jump.

“___! That didn’t take too long. How did it go?”

“We should probably wake up early enough to eat breakfast before we both have to be at work.”

 The news took a minute to  register in his brain. He took your hands and brought you in for a hug. 

“I told you you’d get it! And no, we’re not waking up that early. We can breakfast here--there’s an all-day buffet set up in the kitchen. Speaking of, you might not even know where that is, so I’ll have to give you a tour of the place. But there’s a few hours til I have a lunch break.”

“It’s fine. I have to go to HR anyway and fill out some paperwork.” 

“Min Yoongi was just about to go there. Weren’t you?” Seokjin turned towards the stranger in question. Min Yoongi had been completely hidden from you because of Jin’s broad shoulders.  

“Uh, yeah. I can take her.” 

Yoongi held two cups of coffee in his hands and a manila folder tucked into his armpit. He was only missing a bluetooth speaker in his ear and you can say he looked like all of the clients your previous company dealt with.  He was handsome with pale skin and droopy brown eyes. 

You gave him a small smile, and let him lead the way to HR. It was a few floors down so you had to take the elevator. It was a slow ride down. 

“What’s your name by the way?”

“I’m ____. Just got hired.”

“Min Yoongi. You already know that though. I’m a financial analyst.”

“Sounds cool.  How long have you been working here?”

“I was hired last year. I’m assuming you know Seokjin?”

“Yeah, I’m his best friend.”

The conversation came to an awkward pause. Thankfully, the elevator arrived on your floor and Yoongi led you to the office of Jung Hoseok before heading off in the other direction. 

Jung Hoseok was seated behind a desk; his eyes were focused on the computer screen in front of him. He glanced away from his computer to focus on you and smiled.. Everyone here at Persona seemed to have easygoing smiles and it helped settle any uneasiness you had about accepting the job and getting to know your new co-workers. You had rarely interacted with any of your former coworkers outside of meetings.  You hoped to change that. 

“I’m assuming you’re ___? I have the paperwork on that table over there. Salary information, bank information, the usual. Please fill it  out and I will have you as an employee in no time. Take as much time as you need--I won’t be going anywhere soon.”

The paperwork was easy to fill out, taking only a few minutes of your time. You would be paid more than what you were being paid at your former job. You had thirteen vacation days and thirteen sick days, totaling twenty-six days in all for you to take care of yourself. You couldn’t remember the last time you had actually been able to stay home from work for even having a rough day. There was an employee handbook at the end of the stack that you would take home and read. 

“I’m done.”

Hoseok startled, having forgotten you were in the room from how silent you were. You handed him the papers and promptly sat back down, avoiding all conversation with him.  He reminded you of everything you didn’t want in coworkers. 

It took him at least twenty minutes to get you into the system. He turned to you with the prettiest smile on his face. 

“Congratulations! You’re now an employee of Persona. I’ll have an ID ready for you tomorrow when you come in. I’ll meet you in Namjoon’s office.”

Working with Namjoon was poles apart from working with your old boss. He didn’t give you an ungodly amount of work to do just because he could. He let you catch up on the work that had yet to be completed by his intern and gave you enough time to plan the toy drive. 

You’d get so into your work, you’d lose track of time and he would have to guide you out of the office to eat lunch. He treated you to many lunches on several occasions always saying it was in his best interest to keep his assistant fed. You felt it was for more than that. 

Namjoon was very attractive and was definitely your type. Boss-employee relationships only worked out in fanfictions and movies unfortunately. And there was the small detail of the employee handbook strictly advocating for non-relations in the office. 

You’d discern a hint of flirtiness whenever he complimented your outfit for the day. Of course, you thanked him. But you refused to flirt back. There was no point in indulging in the flirting game. He was your boss and that’s all he would be for as long as you had this job. 

Biting into a sandwich that you brought for lunch, you go over the email once more. It was an email for the employees of the company to donate any toy they could. The deadline was the 24th considering everyone had Christmas off. A week and then the children could have a special Christmas filled with toys and cheer.  You only needed Namjoon to approve it and send it off. You had asked Park Jimin, who was part of the marketing team, to create little animations for you. They were the cutest things ever and made the email a lot more friendlier. A snowman waved, there was snowfall, and even Santa bringing a toy to a child. Jimin had completely outdone himself for you. 

Namjoon would be back from lunch in a couple of minutes, so you decided to sit in his office and wait for him.  It was only next door to your office so you didn’t mind and you could straighten up his filing while you were in there. 

Soon you were lost in the work of rearranging his file system. It was weird to see that man was usually always well-kept, but his organization skills were a little lackluster. No wonder he hired you on the spot. A picture was at the bottom of the file cabinet--Namjoon didn’t want everything to be on the computer for emergencies. Picking it up, you see a dimpled child with his arms around what you assumed was his mother. His face was covered in chocolate but you knew that it was a young Namjoon. They were sitting at a table filled with different foods and you could make out a Christmas tree in the background. A familiar tree. 

You had spent many hours and years in front of that tree. It belonged to your mother’s shelter. Your favorite ornament to hang on it was a Strawberry Shortcake ornament that your father had given you before the three of you moved to South Korea. That's how you recognized the tree. The ornament hung low from the Christmas tree exactly where you always put it. Namjoon had been there. You couldn’t remember ever meeting him considering you always spent your Christmases in the shelter with the families. 

You would have recalled seeing dimples as deep as his. 

A tiny gasp alerted you that you were being nosey. 

“Namjoon! I’m sorry. I was just re-organizing the cabinet. I didn’t mean to pry..but I found out something you might want to hear.”

“And what would that be?” His tone wasn’t angry but it still had a little attitude. 

“You used to stay at my mom’s shelter. Small world,” you started to giggle before realizing what exactly his and his mother’s staying truly meant. “Maybe you don’t want to hear that.”

To your astonishment, Namjoon smiled at you. A small one but your heart still fluttered. He wasn’t entirely mad at you. 

“Yeah. When Seokjin mentioned you for the position, I instantly recognized your name. I wanted to hire you right then. You had been so nice to me and my mother that it stuck with me for all these years. Obviously you don’t remember me as much as I remember you though.” 

“It’s probably because I’ve been so focused on the toy drive. I really want to surprise them this year. It’s the most I can do to show them that they’re not completely alone in the world. That people are thinking of them and want to help them.” “And I think this gesture would make everyone happy. I know I would have loved something like this.”

“And I would have gladly given it to you. But I was only ten years old at the time. But for right now, I need you to approve this mass email that advertises the donations of toys.”

Namjoon let out a guttural laugh and sat in his chair to review the email. 

 It was the 24th--the final day of the donation drive. Your co-workers had been dropping off toys since the email went out. The storage room on your floor was filled to the brim and you were beyond ecstatic.  There were doll-houses, kitchenettes, monster trucks, board games, painting sets, bicycles (with the training wheels), and even things for the older kids staying at the shelter. Namjoon had thought some of the toys could even go to another shelter in the city. You decided to pick a homeless shelter knowing there were a few kids there as well.  

Namjoon had helped you rent a truck for the day that would aid in loading and transporting the toys across the city to the shelters. Jin, Jungkook, Jimin, Hoseok, Yoongi, and the new intern, Taehyung, had offered to help as well.  You were grateful for the help and thanked each of them for giving up a portion of their Christmas to help you deliver the toys.  

Loading the truck took hours as there were many toys. You treated everyone to a few drinks and dinner for all the help they were giving you. 

“Here’s to seeing the smiling faces on the children tomorrow when we deliver the toys!”

Throwing back the shot glass of soju, you whooped and whistled along with the men around you. The plan wasn’t to drink too much as you had to be up bright and early in order to deliver the toys to both shelters in time before the children woke up.  

The shelter leaders had already promised to try and keep them from going near the tree before nine that morning. 

After eating, you all made your way to your cars--of course you had back with Seokjin and Jungkook. You reminded everyone to meet at the office. You and Namjoon would be driving the truck, while everyone else trailed after you in their cars.

The morning could not come soon enough for you. 

 Waking up wasn’t hard for you at all. The exhilaration coursing through your body was enough to get you to hop off the bed and into the showers without so much as a grown. The bonnet you had placed on your head the night before had kept your hair in tip top shape as usual. You could always trust a bonnet. 

Finger combing out the curls that had flattened a little through the night, your afro soon came to its puffy and natural state of bouncy curls.  

You rushed to put on the ugly sweater outfit you had bought for this occasion before rushing out of the door, colliding into Jungkook and Jin. They, like you, were excited for the day ahead of you. 

The three of you packed yourself into Jin’s car and blasted Mariah Carey’s Christmas album for the short ride to Persona. 

The rest of your group was already waiting for you. Jimin had made hot chocolate for the lot of you, and after a brief moment of making sure the toys were all packed into the truck, Namjoon and you climbed into the front seats, and took off. 

Namjoon was singing off-key to ‘What Do the Lonely Do on Christmas’--a classic love of yours--creating a symphony of giggles from you. The Christmas cheer was big in all of you, especially the tall giant that is Namjoon.   He was showing a much goofier side of him that you would have loved to see more of in the office. The man was carefree most of the time,but he always held this air of seriousness. You couldn’t help but wonder if his childhood had created some of that. 

The shelter was slowly moving into your vision as you got closer and closer. You heartbeat picked up, realizing just how much you missed being here with your mom and dad. They were some of the best memories you could ever have. However, your mom began to think that the shelter wasn’t the best place for you to grow up in and made you stay with your father at home or in his office. You had always come back, but it was always too crowded and the children never wanted to play with you since you were in high school. You thought it was because they couldn’t relate to you since you hadn’t been in their position. 

Namjoon pulled into the drive of your mother’s shelter, parking the car to where the trunk faced the door for easy access. 

Your mother was waiting for you at the front door and gave you a tight hug. 

“Hey baby girl! I’ve been waiting for you. The kids are going to love waking up to these.”

“I know Mama,’ you turned to introduce the boys. A bashful Namjoon was already behind you.

“I’m not sure if you remember but this is Kim Namjoon.  He used to stay here.”

It took your mother a minute to recognize him. He had grown up so much from the scrawny little one he used to be. Always hiding under his mother unless he was playing with you. 

“Well, I’ll be damned. Kim Namjoon. Son of Kim Eunha. Boy, look at you! Come here and give me a hug,” your mother said, her southern drawl prominent in her voice.  She pulled Namjoon into a hug, making the huge man blush a deep red. 

Holding back a giggle, you stuttered, “Mama! Mama! Let him go. We gotta get the toys out the truck or the kids are going to see nine Santas putting  toys under the tree. And it’ll just ruin everything.”

“You’re right. But I won’t be helping,” she laughed.  “Y’all have fun with that. Imma go make some cookies.”

You shook your head, laughing. Namjoon was laughing as well, indicating he remember just how boisterous your mother could be.

“It’s a black mother thing,” you told him. 

Unloading the toys didn’t take as long as loading them did to all of your surprise. The toys that were to be taken to the other shelter stayed in. Namjoon and you were staying here while the rest of the boys took those. 

The living room of the shelter was filled with toys for the little girls and boys, and you couldn’t be happier. For years, it had only been a few toys under there. Most of them had been from your family but you couldn’t afford too many.  

Your ornament on the tree was in the same place it always was. It was slowly losing a few of its colours, but Strawberry Shortcake could still be made out. 

“The famous Strawberry Shortcake. You know, I asked you if I could put it on the year I stayed here. You let me.”

The memory popped up as soon as he said it. 

You were both tired from running around in the snow for hours until Jack Frost started nipping at your noses. You only had enough energy to fix up the tree. Namjoo had asked to put it on, and you almost threw a fit before recalling why he was here. You obliged, and saw how happy it made him.  

“I did. You looked so happy. I think I wanted to kiss you.”

“We did. Right under that mistletoe.”

Blushing, you turned towards where Namjoon pointed and saw the old mistletoe your father put out to trick your mother into kissing him. He put it in the same place knowing she would stop right under it: the entrance to the kitchen. 

“Oh wow. Why am I just now remembering that. We had no idea what we were doing and you even bit me!”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yeah, you totally bit me,” the shriek of laughter you let out was enough to wake the entire shelter, but the memory was too amusing.  How had you forgotten it?

Before he could think of apologizing for the mishap and offer to re-do it, the laughter and shrieks of children waking up and bounding down the stairs interrupted the both of you. 

“Santa came! Santa came! Wow! Look a bike!”

Various gasps and squeals exploded through the living room. The mothers all had cups of hot chocolate, holding back tears of appreciation. Some of the older kids noticed the tablets that had been laid out on the “big kid” table and were soon immersed in figuring out who would get what. 

Your heart squeezed seeing all the happiness unfold around you. This was what you wanted. Just a day for the children and mothers to have a little hope.  

You picked up a gift that you had bought personally the day after seeing that Namjoon had stayed at the shelter. You had lied and said that you hadn’t remembered everything. But you remembered this one.

“Namjoon!” You held out the present for you. It was wrapped in spiderman paper wrapping but it was all you had left.  

He tore it open with vigor and let out a tiny gasp seeing what it was. 

“You remembered?”

“Yep. It was my pinky promise before I left. I always keep my promises.”

It was a leather notebook with a fountain pen. It was something that he could easily buy himself but you recollected the exact conversation you had years ago before leaving the shelter. 

 “Oh, you’re leaving ___?”

“Yeah,” you kicked at a frozen rock, “Mama thinks it’s not safe for me to be here right now. So I’ll be spending time with my Dad in his office from now on. I’ll still come here though. This place means a lot to me. “

“Cool. I won’t be after next week though. My mom finally found a place for the two of us.”

“Aw, I’ll miss you. You owe me another kiss.”

“”And I’ll miss you. I promise you another kiss if you promise me a leather book with a fountain pen.”

The surprised look on your face made him laugh.  

“Uhm, why a leather book with a fountain pen?”

“I want to be a business owner one  day. A leather book and fountain pen are fancy and I’ve seen your dad use one.” “It keeps him organized according to Mama. But I doubt it. Dad would lose his head if it wasn’t attached to his body.”

You both laughed and pinky promised. 

 As much as you didn’t like boss-relationships, you had known Namjoon since your childhood technically. And you would like to get to know him more. Obviously your relationship was going to bloom had you two not been separated.  

Not to mention, he had let you finish the toy drive. Had it not been for him remembering who you were and loving your idea, you wouldn’t have been able to do it. Working for him was a Christmas miracle if you said so yourself. 

It was meant to be.  

“I think you owe me something now.”

Namjoon placed both of his hands on your hips, bringing you in closer to him. His smile showed you the dimples you had come to love to see.  

“I promise this time with no biting.”

Namjoon’s index and thumb lifted your chin up and his soft lips pressed against yours. 

Around you, the kids were tumbling around with their new toys and the teenagers were still fussing over the electronics. 

But the kiss is all that mattered. 

Merry Christmas to you. 

[sunflowerandco]

2. "Look, I know we don't know each other that well, but I'm still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.”

surprise i saw @ciaratorres 's beautiful list of duncney prompts and as per request i chose one to fulfill! if you guys like this i can do another one :) this really helped me out of a hard time so enjoy/let me know what you think!

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Duncan practically skipped down the corridors of the office, loosening his tie as he made his way to the elevator. Working overtime and sorting the mailroom meant he was one of the last people in the office.

Or so he thought.

He heard a sniffle from an abundance of cubicles. It almost seemed like an accident; as if he weren't supposed to hear it. He swore he heard a hand slap against someone's mouth in an attempt to suppress any more noise. His curiosity led him closer to seeing the brunette in accounting in a corner of her gray, carpeted cubicle.

He knew her name despite rarely seeing it on the envelopes he spent the beginning of his shift delivering from cubicle to cubicle. It was hard to forget when he finally learned it. Earning the right to put a name to the face that drew him in, the eyes that rolled at his comments, and the lips that responded to him in quick-witted retorts that revealed she was able to keep up with him. All of it was in good fun, but he couldn't help the way he felt about her. He was sane enough to know she was off limits.

The woman who always seemed to have it together sat before him with tousled hair and her knees pulled up to her chest. The tissue in her hand was stained black with mascara. She looked up after sniffling again, causing their eyes to lock.

She noticed the tattooed mischievous mailroom tech through her tear-filled, blurred vision. The look on his face contrasted his usual smug smirk he displayed when towering over her desk. His concerned tone differed from the standard flirtatious approach she heard on his morning runs around the office. It all took her by surprise.

"What's going on?" He asked, very hushed and seriously. She looked to the side, weary of telling someone she barely knew her personal business. He considered letting her be, but ultimately decided he couldn't - didn't want to leave her alone in this way.

"Look, I know we don't know each other that well, but I'm still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.”

She spoke very quietly, dabbing her eyes with the same tissue. "My boyfriend dumped me over text."

Duncan walked a little closer before settling down on the empty space on the floor next to her. It was a bit cramped for the two of them, and she was surprised having not inviting him, but accepting of it anyway. They sat in silence for a minute as she held her mouth open to speak, but nothing was coming out. Courtney wanted to speak more, and knew he was waiting for her to do so.

"It just came out nowhere in the middle of the day... I thought now I could finally let out my feelings when everyone left."

"Well, he's a fucking idiot, that's for sure."

"He graduated at the top of his class, actually."

"Of clown college, maybe." Courtney gave a look of disappointment suggesting he could do better than that.

"That was really awful." It wasn't his best effort, but the joke was so corny Courtney had to laugh.

"I know it was." He agreed laughing along, just grateful for the fact he took her mind off of her problem shortly.

She giggled even though a few tears trickled down her cheeks. She let her legs go and sat more comfortably, facing the direction he sat in. Duncan reached over to her desk to pull another tissue out of the box.

"There you go." Duncan approached somewhat affectionately.

With both of their smiles lingering, he faced her to clean up some of her tears. He took in the redness of her cute nose and how the hue only made her freckles darker. Courtney on the other hand wondered how she never came to notice just how blue his eyes were as he attentively dabbed away her tears.

Their smiles on their faces traded for serious glances when they made eye contact. He didn't think he could've found her more beautiful than the first time he saw her picking a fight with the crappy copy machine. He tried to focus on uplifting her to cover up the feeling of red spreading across his own face. "I know you're gonna be okay. You're Courtney."

"What does that mean?" She asked her first question, but was quickly asking another. "And since when do you remember my name?"

Courtney posed the question after hearing his abundant arsenal of nicknames for her. Sweetheart, Toots, and most annoyingly of all, Princess. It was all to get under her skin, and he was successful in that aspect in ways more than one.

"Of course I know your name, Princess." She noted the smugness in his delivery and rolled her eyes. He smirked in response and continued answering her questions.

"It means you always find a way to come out on top. You don't need some loser dumping you to figure that out. And look at you. You won't have a problem finding someone else." He mentally hit himself for that last sentence slipping off his tongue. He was one more comment closer to a meeting with the HR department.

Courtney could catch on to the meaning of his last statement. What she couldn't decipher was whether they were words of encouragement or an actual feeling he had toward her appearance. She watched him turn his face away from hers in his chagrin as his actions confirmed the latter. Flattery got him farther when he felt his cheek burn in brilliant scarlet as an endearing kiss landed on it. He heard her truly say his name for what felt like the first time.

"Thank you, Duncan." She stood up from the floor grabbing her suitcase in the process. He sat still, flustered by the pace of their exchanges and reversing their positions when he initially found her. She continued, not wanting to leave him in this way as well. "You can walk me to my car."

---------------------------------------------------------

a/n: I'm sorry for that corny joke

[sapphirelass]

Not you too... - Neville LongbottomXSister!Reader

Hi! So... it’s been a while, but I’ve been extremely busy with school work and... well to be honest that’s my only excuse XD Anyhow, with maths and physics exams out of the way, it’s finally time for a new uplifting story.

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Please note:

1: I don’t own any of the gifs used, nor any already established characters, so credit to the authors and original creators - You have done a phenomenal job :)

2: English is not my native language, as I was born and raised in Sweden. I have, however, studied English for almost a decade, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem, I just thought I’d let you know ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Word count: ≈1600

Warnings: Torture, The Cruciatus Curse,  The Carrows, Light swearing, Extreme angst

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You probably already know this, but still XD

Y/N = Your name

Y/N/N = Your nickname

Y/H = Your house

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1998

March

Hogwarts

“Well, well, well… What do we have here?!”

The frightened first-year trembled and tried to back away.

“I...I.. I was just on my way to the Ravenclaw com…”

Alecto grabbed his jumper and pinned him to the wall.

“Oh I don’t think so! This isn’t the first time we’ve caught you wandering around, Matthews, and I’m afraid we can’t let you get away with it…”

Amycus pulled out his wand and pointed it at the young boy’s throat.

“DON’T YOU DARE!!”

A furious sixth year (Y/H) sprinted through the corridor, her right hand clutched around her wand.

“Leave him alone! He’s eleven!? And has done nothing wrong! Levicorpus!”

Amycus was hoisted into the air by his ankle as the older student carefully approached the younger.

“Hey, are you oka-”

But before even getting a chance to comfort the boy, the tip of a wand was pressed forcefully against her throat. The young Ravenclaw knew better than to stick around, especially when Alecto Carrow disarmed his saviour and pushed her against the wall.

“Longbottom… No bloody surprise there, c’mon!”

Amycus was back on his feet and, sadly, a fight between one wandless sixteen year old and two death eaters could barely even be called a fight. The Carrows grabbed an arm each, and made their way towards the dungeons.

***

Neville was, despite the gloomy atmosphere, in high spirits. It was Friday, his last class of the day had been herbology, and he hadn’t received detention a single time that week. He entered the common room and sat down on the sofa with a copy of A Compendium of Common Curses and Their Counter-Actions. Later that night, Ginny Weasley and Seamus Finnigan climbed through the portrait hole and approached him slowly.

“Hey!”, he said, “Everything good?”

“Neville… Where’s (Y/N)? Is she okay?”

Neville frowned, “Wha.. Why shouldn’t she be? Where is she anyways, I thought she was with you?!”

“Neville…”, Seamus began, putting a hand on his shoulder, “She-”

“What, Seamus!?”

“She ran into the Carrows.... They were threatening some Ravenclaw first-year and she interfered before she could help herself.”

Neville felt his blood run cold.

“So? What did they do? Where is she?”

“I don’t know, we thought she would be back by now… We… we thought she was with you.”

Neville closed his book, not bothering to look for a bookmark, and left without a word. He didn’t dare to think about what could have happened to his sister, but he knew that he had to find her. Making his way through the corridors, he kept trying to tell himself that she was fine. That she was okay. That he would find her unharmed. Deep down, he knew it was highly improbable, but one can hope, right?

***

“Incarcerous!”

A thick, bloodstained rope wrapped itself tightly around her wrists and ankles, effectively preventing any movements or attempts to escape.

“You, Longbottom - you and your ‘good-for-nothing’ brother have had your fun. I think it’s about time we teach you a little lesson.”

She sent the professor an angry glare. “So you’re finally going to start then?”

“What?”, Alecto spat

“Well, you are our teachers after all. One would think you would have planned on teaching us stuff from the beginning - it is your bloody job - but I’m glad you finally wanna give it a go…”

With a furious look on his face, Amycus grabbed (Y/N)’s jumper and threw her violently to the floor. He charged and delivered a rough, well placed kick to her cheek before pulling out his wand.

“You really are a stupid little blood traitor, aren’t you? Do you honestly believe you’ll get out of here unharmed?”

“That kick was rather nasty so no, I think it’s too la…”

Her response was interrupted by a swift wand movement followed by a single word.

“Crucio!!”

(Y/N) let out an ear piercing scream and began shaking violently. It wasn’t unexpected, yet she had feared this moment her entire life, and the realization that the time had finally arrived was just as horrifying as the pain itself.

“Maybe that’ll teach you something. Then again, your family never were the brightest of our kind, were they? Not even this lovely curse got the message across so… perhaps a few more times would suffice!”

The death eaters smirked evilly.

“CRUCIO!!”

“CRUCIO!!”

“CRUCIO!!”

***

Hours later the torture momentarily ceased, and (Y/N)’s pained screams had drifted further and further towards what most would call hoarse whimpering. She was shaking, struggled to breathe, and no longer fully capable of taking in all that happened around her.

“Well, well, well… looking rather shaken, Longbottom. Had enough yet? What do you reckon, sister?”

Alecto looked down at the trembling sixteen year old with disgust.

“It does seem like the message has sunken in… But don’t you, dearest brother, feel like we should grant her some more… long lasting evidence of what she went through? Something more... physical?”

“What a splendid suggestion! Will you do me the honours?”

“Gladly!”

She pulled a small dagger from her cloak, though (Y/N) had by the time almost passed out and lacked the strength to turn around and look. The girl lay motionless on the cold floor as her teacher grabbed her (Y/H) robes and threw them roughly into a messy pile. Alecto rested her hand on (Y/N)’s collarbone, and repeatedly pierced her delicate skin.

A couple of minutes later, the siblings stood back to admire their work and muttered sectumsempra before finally leaving and locking the door behind them.

(Y/N) still didn’t react, but was moments later resting in a puddle of her own thick, red, hot blood.

***

“Y/N/N)?!”

“(Y/N/N)?!!!”

“(Y..Y/N/N)..?”

As soon as Neville laid eyes on his sister, he ran up to her and pulled her into his arms. The word ‘traitor’ written across her neck caused him to look away for a moment, but he held her close. She was unconscious and her breathing was very shallow, but there was no doubt about it - she was alive!

“(Y/N), please wake up for me. Please”

She was barely bleeding anymore, but had lost copious amounts of blood and was in need of immediate medical care.

“Neville, we’ve got to bring her up to the Room of Requirement.”

“But she needs healing!?”

“Yes, but it’s not safe here. They might return, c’mon.”

“Fine, let me just…”

He bent down and untied the ropes before picking her up. Seamus brought the cloak and they left the dungeons hoping that they, for the love of Merlin, would make it without getting caught.

***

“I...not..that!”

“Nev… just saying… don’t know… she’ll… what they did!”

“That doesn’t mean I’m gonna give up!?”

At first it was all incoherent, but eventually she started to pick up full sentences. The pain did however return as soon as she woke up, and she groaned slightly, causing the conversation to die out.

Her brother was by her side in an instant.

“(Y/N/N)!? How… I.. Are you okay? Here, let me help you!”

He reached out to help her into a sitting position, but she flinched and moved away from his touch. This reaction caused his heart to completely shatter, and he raised his hands in surrender as a few tears left his eyes.

“(Y/N/N)”, he muttered carefully, “it’s just me. I’m not going to hurt you, I could never…”

She looked back at him, eyes filled with dread and an uncertainty completely unlike anything he had ever seen before.

“C’mon , L”, Seamus said as he put a hand on her shoulder, “‘tis just us.”

This move, though a very gentle one, caused her to quickly withdraw further as her breath quickened.

“Shut up Seamus”, said Ginny angrily, pulling their Irish friend away as Neville sat down on his knees. He was careful not to touch his sister - the thought of him scaring her being far too much for him to handle - and then placed his wand on a table a few feet away.

“(Y/N/N)”, he said, once again holding his hands up in surrender, “I won’t hurt you, okay, just… do you know where you are?”

She didn’t respond, but did however look less terrified than before. Deep inside, Neville realized that (Y/N) calming down should make him feel better, but there was something about her that gave him the creeps… There was something uncomfortably familiar about her posture, the nervous shifting and the way she seemed to be staring into nothing, yet he found himself unable to put his finger on it.

Then it hit him. He immediately understood who she reminded him of: 

Their Parents

He closed his eyes tightly and shuddered at the thought. It-it wasn’t possible! It couldn’t be...Neville Longbottom had never been so afraid in his life, but he knew what he had to do. He had to ask. He had to know.

“(Y/N/N)?”, he repeated softly, “(Y/N/N), do you know who I am?”

Not receiving an immediate response worried him, but he gave it the benefit of the doubt - Maybe she just needed some time?

So he waited.

30 seconds.

And waited.

A minute.

And waited.

Five minutes.

No answer.

That’s when it burst. Neville broke down completely. He put his head in his hands and let the tears flow freely, having absolutely no desire to stop them.

“No…”, he stuttered, “No, no, no...not... not you too…”

“Not you too”

~ L

Masterlist

[lostcauses-noregrets]

I just wanted to add a few words to @tsuki-no-ura (x) and @momtaku’s (x) recent posts about negativity and ship hate in fandom.   I think I’m in a slightly different position from Mom and Tsuki because I’m explicitly a ship blog, so no one bothers to accuse me of “bias”.  However it absolutely incenses me when I see general meta and translation blogs being accused of “bias”, as if it’s a cardinal sin.  Everyone has their own favourite characters, relationships, and story arcs, and that’s fine, expecting anyone to be scrupulously neutral in fandom is just ridiculous.

@momtaku mentioned disingenuous Anons and I certainly get my fair share of those.  I’ve got several in my inbox right now in fact.  Usually I ignore them, or take the piss out of them, but the faux sincerity still incenses me.  If you don’t like a ship that’s fair enough, but why waste your time provoking other shippers and trying to “disprove” their ship? Viewing shipping as a contest to be won or lost is so futile.  The whole beauty of fandom is that you can ship whoever you want.  If you don’t like the canon ships, that’s fine, just ignore them. You don’t need to tear them down, that’s just a waste of your energy and mine.  The same goes for story lines.  If you don’t like the way a plot is progressing, by all means feel free to critique it, or create your own AUs, but don’t harass other fans who enjoy it.

Whether things are worse now than they were in the past is debatable.  I’m always wary of fandom nostalgia, of harking back to a golden age where ship hate was non-existent and all fans lived in peace and harmony.  Fandom has always been riven with disagreement and drama. I guess it’s inevitable when you bring a disparate group of people together who have nothing in common except a piece of media they are deeply passionate about but have very different interpretations of.  Some of the incidents I witnessed in older fandoms on LJ over a decade ago would make you hair stand on end, and in this fandom I’m still scarred by the fall out from the Serum Bowl.  Having said that, I do think the end of the series has definitely upped the ante.  There’s no more clinging to the hope that your ship will become canon in the next chapter, it’s all over and done with, so it’s understandable that some people will feel aggrieved and despondent, particularly after such a divisive ending.  Taking that frustration out on other fans is pointless and does no one any favours though.

Navigating fandom can be tricky at any time.  If you find a group of likeminded fans to hang out with it can be the most amazingly positive and uplifting experience, but it’s all too easy to get dragged into downward spirals of hate and negativity.  Mom and Tsuki’s advice to try and find a small group of folk to hang out with, and to spend time with things you love, your favourite fic or art or shitposts, is the best advice going.  The only other thing I would add is block and mute frequently.  You’re not obliged to spend time listened to people who drag you down, or viewing content that angers or upsets you. Blocking or muting doesn’t mean you’re passing judgement, it simply means you’re taking responsibility for your own online experience and curating your fandom experience, so don’t feel bad about muting content you don’t want to see.

Despite all the negativity, fandom is still a remarkable phenomena.  I was struck earlier on this week by AO3’s 2020 statistics update. On a graph showing a comparison of site traffic growth each year, you can quite clearly see a steep jump in traffic between March and April last year from 260 million page views per week to 340 million. That jump marks the spread of the COVID-19 pandemic and the start of lockdown.  If ever proof was needed of how important fan fiction is to people, that’s it right there.  I posted a tweet about this graph on twitter earlier in the week and someone who identified themselves as an essential worker said that fanfic had been their escape, and that without it they would have had more breakdowns than they did.  I’ve always been a great believer in the transformative power of fanfic, and now more so than ever.  So Tsuki was right, whenever the negativity gets too much, go back and read your favourite fanfics for the 244th time, and remember you’re not alone.

[levithestripper]

☀️✨Attack on Titan Headcanons: 104th Cadets Part 2☀️✨

Link to the first set of headcanons ✨here!✨

Armin Arlert ☀️✨

Armin is defiantly one of the shyest members of the Survey Corps. He has trouble asking the other older members even basic questions, even though he’s so outgoing with his other friends. He’d get embarrassed and stutter out his question, sometimes wanting to run away mid sentence if he was talking to and attractive higher up. 

He and Hange are best friends. No questions asked. Attached at the hip twins.

He and Erwin are more like brothers that are best friends. It’s different, trust me. 

He probably has a thing for older s/o’s since they know more than he does and he could learn from them which he finds super fucking sexy. Like, they’re sexy and smart?? Belt on the floor, ass up face down he’s ready to f u c k. 

He will sleep in the fetal position if he is sleeping alone, but if he’s with his s/o he’ll demand that he’ll be the big spoon, even though he is so small he can barely wrap his arms around them fully. 

Armin will stay up with his s/o all night reading to them if they let him. He would loan fairy tales and other fantasy books from the Survey Corps Castle library. He’d read to them until they fall asleep in his lap in their shared bed. His s/o says that he could put a bear to sleep with his voice, it’s just that soothing to them.

The rest of the 104th teases him like crazy for hanging around Erwin and Hange so much, affectionately calling him a milf/dilf lover. Well, they’re not wrong about that but they don’t have to call him out so easily like that.

Armin kept the book about the outside world he took from his grandfather under his pillow, along with the hat he gave him on his nightstand. 

Armin has thought about cutting his hair countless times because of the mean comments he had gotten about it in public, but Eren always convinced him to keep it as it is since it suited his round, soft face. And Mikasa would encourage him by saying they had the same haircut, so it couldn’t be that bad if she had the same one.

Him being the younger one in his relationship, any kind of PDA would embarrass him beyond belief. His s/o would love how red he would get when they kissed his cheek in the mess hall or in front of Erwin or Hange, so they kept doing it until he looked like a tomato. 

Connie Springer ☀️✨

In grade-school he was asked out on dares a lot. The girls could barely contain their laughter when they were forced to ask him out, only for it to erupt from them when they told the poor boy that it was all just a dare, that no one would actually love him.

Since he was always used as the butt end of jokes, he uses comedy to try and uplift others now, like comic relief. He knows how bad it can make people feel so he’ll do whatever he can to make sure that others won’t feel the same as he had.

His s/o would be someone who has a quick wit, who can through a joke right back at him without getting offended at a gross joke or two. 

Connie isn’t afraid to go up to Levi and tell short jokes directly to his face. Although, he runs away right before he could be murdered violently. 

When Jean’s mother came to visit while they were still in the Training Corps, Connie called him Jean-bo for the next month and a half. Jean was ready to kill him, but he kept getting out of it just in time right before Jean-bo could choke him out for his crimes. 

If TikTok was a thing in the canon universe, Connie would be criminally charged with how many times he had done the full WAP dance in two hours. His record so far is 30. 

Sasha is his cameraman and has to restart almost every video she records for his TikTok/Insta since she laughs so hard her hands shake his phone. 

Connie will be the ~chivalrous~ kind of man in bed and let his s/o sleep on his chest, letting them use his pecs as pillows. He thinks it’s super manly to let them curl up next to him, basking in his warmth that he provided.

He only grew out his buzz cut because his s/o mentioned once that they’d like to see what he’d look like with hair. Now that he has a moderate amount of fluff, his s/o loves to run their hands through it and tug it. 

When he got the news that his whole family was turned into Titans by Zeke, Connie went into a mental breakdown of sorts. He couldn’t eat without throwing up and hour later, he’d cry almost constantly. Whenever someone tried to talk to him, the poor boy would erupt into tears and bury his head into the palms of his hands; screaming out about how wonderful his family was and that they didn’t deserve to end up like that. But what hurt his friends most of all was hearing him talk about his younger siblings. Connie loved to tell them about whatever antics they had gotten up to in their most recent letter. After he found out they were Titans, Connie would quietly tell Sasha and Jean about them. About how they wanted to take after their cool big brother in the Survey Corps and save the world just like he was. 

Bertolt Hoover ☀️✨

Ah yes, another shy boy. Bertolt is shyer that Armin by a long shot. he isn’t even able to talk to anyone that wasn’t in the 104th. He always feels the most confident around Reiner and can speak his mind the best around him. 

Bertolt would most likely want to keep his s/o as close to him as possible. Being a Titan Shifter makes his body temperature run really high, which makes his hugs feel like a warm mug of hot cocoa.

His s/o loved getting piggy back rides from him, loving to see what it’s like being 6′1″. 

He always makes sure that his s/o sits in between him and Reiner at lunch, making it look like they had two hunky body guards at their disposal. In reality Bertolt had them sit there because then he can keep a better eye on them that way. He always got nervous when his s/o sat with Eren or Jean. His s/o is just so pretty, and funny, and kind, and sweet, he worries that they’d want to leave him for someone more interesting like Jean and Eren were. 

Poor Bertolt is so insecure about his body and his face. He thinks that all of his proportions are off, thinks that his torso is too long. No one else is this tall, why does he have to be? He feels like he sticks out like a sore thumb. On days where Bertolt is feeling exceptionally down, everyone gathers around him to smother him in a huge group hug. 

When his s/o is hanging out with him in the barracks, he likes to position them on top of his waist, straddling him. It was the perfect position to look up in their eyes, admiring them and all their beauty. He would massage his hands into his s/o’s hips. Bertolt started doing it more after he saw how much his partner loved it the first time.

Sleeping with him was probably the hardest. Since he had all of these weird sleeping positions, his s/o would get pushed to the edge of the bed or sometimes even be pushed off completely. Bertolt always felt horrible afterwords. He made it up every time with a nice long, chaste kiss each morning.

Speaking of kisses, his favorite way to hold his s/o’s head is with both hands, thumbs stroking over their cheekbones. His other fingers spread themselves down the rest of their face, his last two fingers underneath their jaw. 

Bertolt’s frequent anxiety and self doubt would get the better of him sometimes, his head convincing himself that his s/o wanted to break up and leave him for someone better, someone with better social skills and a better personality. His s/o always reassured him that they’d never leave him for anyone, since he’s perfect they way he is and they love him for that.

If his s/o found out that he was the Colossal Titan, he would immediately start crying, folding up on himself. He ruined it, his entire life was over. They’d hate him, rat him out, kill him. His s/o would obviously be upset with him, feeling betrayed. They never thought that a sweet guy like him could be capable of such murder and treason, but here they were. Bertolt would be similar to Reiner if his s/o found out. Begging them to stay with him, that their whole relationship wasn’t a lie, wasn’t just a cover up. Their partner would agree with some convincing, keeping his secret for him. 

Although, when Annie and Reiner found out that Bertolt’s s/o knew about them and about Marley, the both of them almost choked his s/o to death, not realizing that they had agreed to keep their secret and join them in going back to Marley. 

@comablog2 ​ @voidnin ​ @sarcasticmudkip ​ @aot-imagines​ @aot-imagine​

[one-boring-person]

Hiya! I had a Top Gun request! Could you maybe right something where the reader barely makes it back from a dangerous mission, and immediately she’s comforted by Ice, Mac, Goose, kind of all the guys when she gets back? Thank you so much!

Thank you for requesting, and I hope you like it!💛💛💛❤

(I've given the reader the call sign Strike, but if you want me to change it, I'm more than happy to do so😊💛)

That Was One Close Call.

Top Gun characters x reader

(Maverick, Goose, Iceman, Slider)

Warnings: violence, in-flight combat

Masterlist

"Can anyone actually see these bogeys yet?" Slider questions through the mics, voice sounding bored, though there is a distinct undertone of confusion running through it.

One by one, the rest of us, Maverick, Goose, Iceman, Arrow (my RIO) and I, deny having seen any other jets in the area, all of us flying in formation as we head to the designated area, eyeing the clear expanse of sky suspiciously as we go, making sure to pick up on any movement at all. Currently, after a good twenty minutes of flying, we've had no sightings, picking nothing up on the radars, our RIOs not spitting anything amiss in the skies around us, our actions now cautious rather than confident. Nerves race through my veins, a feeling I haven't had in months, my fingers tightening minutely around the joystick in my grasp, the jet adjusting in the air accordingly as I accidentally steer it into a different path, sweat coating my brow thanks to the sweltering confines of the cockpit, my breaths short and fast in my mouthpiece.

Just as I go to talk again, a sharp beep interrupts me, my radar having finally picked up on something, a small green dot appearing on the screen, moving rapidly towards us.

"You guys seeing this?" Maverick inquires, having clearly seen the same thing I have.

"Yeah, we got a mig on our six, moving very quickly. They're nearly o-" I go to reply only to cut off abruptly when the controls in front of me start going off, signifying that I'm under missile lock, and in great danger, the jet having closed in on us much faster than we thought it would.

"Get us out of here, Strike! They're right behind us!" Arrow speaks up, voice shrill with fear as the hulking shapes of the enemy jets drop from the sky behind us: eight much faster, more manouverable aircrafts with a higher firepower than ours, putting us at a severe disadvantage.

"I'm trying!" I bite back, annoyed that he didn't spot the bogeys on our tail sooner, having now put us in jeopardy. Gritting my teeth against the pressure forcing us into our seats, I sharply pull our jet around into a tight banking motion, inadvertently putting it into a dizzying barrel roll as I go, aiming to get out of range of their missiles, only to start in surprise and shock when gunfire suddenly pelts the side of plane. Instantly, the left engine starts smoking, the controls going crazy before me, Arrow panickedly contacting with the others, radioing for help from the carrier. Adrenaline starts to kick in, suppressing the terror and panic flooding my mind, prompting me to switch off the affected engine, knowing it will slow us down, but will also prevent us from blowing up too soon, swiftly dragging the hindered aircraft into a tight ascent, praying that I'll make it past them before they can react to me, though I know it's futile.

Yet more gunfire tears into the metal of the exterior of the jet, Arrow's only reaction now being to yell for help, helmet banging against the glass as he looks up to check the damage.

"They hit the canopy! We won't last much longer at this rate!" From my place ahead of him, I can tell he's shifting around very quickly, trying his best to gauge where the bogeys are, though he is struggling considerably, what with the migs flying at a mug faster speed, diving in and out of view, "Maverick, Iceman, where are you?!"

"They're keeping us away from you! We can't get any closer without being shot!" Goose calls back, clearly frustrated.

"Same here. Until we can get past, you're on your own." Iceman agrees grimly, the pilot sounding angry at this turn of events.

"I don't know how long we'll last like this!" I manage out as I drop the nose of the jet into a sudden dive, falling past a few of the attacking bogeys as I go, only to suddenly realise that the right engine has also been hit, the flames petering out. At this revelation, panic explodes within me, my hands instantly pulling at the joystick, trying to flick on the emergency engines to stop us from plummeting to our deaths.

Our speed continues to increase, the jet dropping faster and faster as the sea grows ever closer, Arrow screaming at me to pull up, the aircraft unwilling to shift into a more level track as the momentum carries us down. Unable to think of anything better, I slam on the air brakes, jerking the joystick around to the left, yelping as I'm thrown against the side of my seat. Responding to my actions, the aircraft rolls ungracefully into an untidy barrel roll, the world spinning before our eyes as we finally level out again, the right engine finally giving out completely as we continue to glide along the now ridiculously close ocean. Nausea rises up my throat, but it is overwhelmed by the brief sense of relief, my mood instantly dampened again as the emergency lights continue to blare loudly, notifying me of the imminent danger I'm in. The sound of Slider's voice over the mics cuts through suddenly, though I barely register what is being said due to my concentration being entirely in trying not to lose more altitude.

"We got one down, wait, no, two down!" The RIO informs us, grateful to be the bearer of good news.

Shaken, I don't manage a reply, my focus now completely on the fact that there is a bogey swiftly catching up to us, missiles ready to be released.

"We got our two down, too." Maverick reports, Goose assenting this seconds later.

"We need help!" Arrow finally speaks up, having noticed that I am apparently incapable of saying anything.

"We're on our way!" The others respond, only too happy to help.

Another, more shrill alarm starts ringing in my ears, the tone dreadfully familiar: we're running out of fuel.

"Guys, we're in serious trouble here, we've got to get back soon!" Arrow informs the others, having noticed the same thing as me, checking the gauge with apprehension.

My pulse pounds in my ears, creating a white noise I can barely hear over, dark spots starting to dance at the edge of my vision as I realise the gravity of the situation, tremors going up and down my body as it struggles to remain upright, fingers locked tightly around the joystick.

"...we got another two down, the rest are going home. We need to get back now!" A voice somewhere says, but I don't quite register it, only just managing to keep the jet above the sea line now.

It's only when Arrow places a hand on my shoulder that I snap out of my reverie, instinctually pulling the jet up again, using an uplifting air current to lift us a little higher, back into the safe zone. Wordlessly, I guide the aircraft back to the carrier, only just grazing the runway as I land it, the wires thankfully catching us as we threaten to hurtle over the edge again. I taxi the jet into a stationary position, hands still shaking as I try to unclasp the canopy, fingers fumbling with the security measures, the broken window sliding back as I finally manage it, my body heaving itself out of the cockpit and onto the runway. Once on solid ground (ish) I make it all of three steps, before I collapse to my knees, Arrow instantly at my side.

"Strike? Are you ok? (Y/n)?" The RIO interrogates me, crouching beside me, arm around my shoulders.

"What happened?! " Maverick's concerned voice is loud in my ears as he, Goose, Ice and Slider all rush over, the rest of them having noticed my residence on the floor. Immediately, the four of them are on the floor around me, helmets discarded on the concrete behind them as they start fussing over me. I feel my helmet being taken off, my body being pulled into a larger, more muscular one, the smell of peppermint and sweat clearly belonging to Iceman, a scent which had always made me feel safe, his arms cradling me against his chest as he strokes my back, trying to get a response out of me. When he pulls away, he looks me in the eye, at which point I finally lose it, tears flooding from the corners of my eyes, sobs wracking my body as I bury my face into my hands, barely noticing as Maverick moves closer, whispering sweet nothings as he rubs my back soothingly. Both Goose and Slider sit there a little awkwardly at first, before they swiftly move forwards to help, the former pushing my hair from my face as the latter takes my hand in his, neither of them saying anything, though they have ready smiles for me when I look up at them. When I catch sight of them, a small smile of my own pushes at my lips, the corners quirking up a little, the expression slowly growing as Goose grins at me in relief.

"There she is!" He comments, patting my knee appreciatively, eyes glittering happily.

"I'm gonna have to start calling you The Invincible One at this rate. That was one close call!" Slider jokes, trying to cheer me up with his usual brash humour.

"Suits you." Goose adds, nodding at me.

"No it doesn't." I manage to say, my voice hoarse and rough from my crying, still smiling at them.

"Are you joking? Of course it does!" Slider protests, grin broadening as I laugh. Maverick and Iceman exchange a glance over the top of my head, the former moving to stand up. Looking down at us, he offers me his hand with a smile of his own, easily pulling me up (even if it is with a bit of Iceman's help), steadying me against his chest.

"Come on, you'll feel better after a shower." He says to me, vending over to pick up our helmets from the floor, the others quickly moving to join us as we walk towards the changing rooms. As we walk, Slider wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his taller body a little, the sense of safety that accompanies this making me feel better about myself. By now, Arrow has already moved to the changing rooms, preferring to face difficulties alone, rather than with us, the RIO clearly trusting the others to do a good job of comforting me, which, of course, they have.