#it’s just one of those things when you live on a rainy island

[kissmefriendly]

Pray tell, what must it be like living somewhere without constant mold in your lungs

[avelera]

I think one reason social class stuff is such a big part of how I write Dreamling is because, at its core if you accept them as a couple, if Hob and Dream are some level of perfect for each other, destined for each other maybe not literally but perfectly matched thanks to the supernatural omniscience of someone like Death setting them up together on purpose based on her greater knowledge of all living things, then it is such a powerfully egalitarian message for a romance.

If Hob really is the one person in all of existence that can handle Dream's bullshit, if he was only given the chance and the time for them to grow into being partners to one another, it's such an insanely profound message. It means that out of billions and billions of people over billions and billions of years, a commoner, a literal peasant was born with the qualities to be a match for one of the most powerful beings in the universe. That being born into the right class be it titles or riches or magical birth right don't actually matter as far as what makes two people suited to each other.

Even if you narrow it to just, say, the sweep of human history, that Death only picked a partner for Dream best suited for these few thousand years of written human history, maybe just for the lifetime of our planet, the message still holds without going all cosmic.

It means that an entirely normal person with no blood right at all, no inherent magical powers, no divine destiny, nothing to distinguish him even from the other soldiers at his table, someone who was born into one of the worst time periods to live through, living an entirely average life that would never make it into any history books except as a footnote, one of billions of people the great stories will simply forget, actually was extraordinary in a way that might have otherwise gone unappreciated but Hob would still have been here, his life still would have happened even if he never got the chance to explore the full potential of his resilience to immortality and his love of life.

If Hob's superpower that allows him to be a match for Dream is simply wanting to live so much that he can withstand the gift of immortality on a level that we rarely see in fiction, that alone is huge. Just some guy from a rainy little island with an entirely common profession of being some peasant soldier, manages to withstand the hardships of time better than immortal beings who were literally born into that existence and into the power and theoretically the supernatural comfort to polish away a lot of the day to day trials that would make living as a human for that span incredibly difficult, like hunger, and losing loved ones, and the daily grind of hardship.

Dream has all this power at his disposal, he is a being of the ultimate privilege. He can literally craft a realm for his comfort, people to be his companions who are best suited to serve him and his needs. Yes he is bound by a function but even that function is one of the richest parts of life: stories and songs and joy and sorrow. The things we toil for the rest of our life so we can carve out the time to indulge in those things. The truly great experiences. That's his job. Not saying it couldn't wear on you, only that it's not like he's Despair or Destruction or even Destiny, bound to helplessly watch all of time unfurl when you already know what's going to happen. Dream has one of the most desirable roles of all of the Endless, at least in theory. He's completed insulated by supernatural levels of privilege: powerful, male-presenting, beautiful, a literal monarch, with a kingdom of beings designed to serve him. The one inherent difficulty he might be argued to have is some form of clinical depression and of course the general traumas that accumulate over so long a lifetime. Not to dismiss it, or say he's not allowed to suffer, profoundly from this and what he's experienced, just to be clear that others have suffered from those things too without the other tools he has at his disposal. He is desperately alone and lonely too, which honestly makes it even more profound for him to have someone who wants to reach out to him.

So to say that Hob, who was not born with any of those privileges or tools, indeed, was born into one of history's most difficult centuries at a time when England was nothing more than a backwater and, yes, Hob is white and male and able bodied, etc, he does not have those privilege marks against him and that will mean more as time goes on and England rises to be a world-dominating superpower and being from there will evolve into a true privilege, but keep in mind, Hob's also from a time where his class, his birth mean he doesn't actually count as part of the "in crowd" of privileged people. He could never be part of his own government, he would not be invited to read or write or be any sort of force in the world. Until the century he was born into it was a vanishingly small likelihood someone like him could ever be more than a serf, legally bound to remain a serf no matter any ambition he might have had. If not for the extreme population loss of the Black Plague granting social mobility out of necessity, Hob could have lived and died as a serf, leaving no other record of his existence.

Instead, Hob's joy, his will to live, and his resilience to withstand eternity that he has as just one of his human qualities, puts him on a level with actual literal gods and creatures more powerful than gods. It means that there is no blood right or inherent structure that makes Dream better than him such that Hob would be inherently a poor match. It means just a guy, out of trillions, was best suited to be the lover of something as old as the universe and more powerful than a god. Because he could handle Dream's bullshit. Because his inherent joy and resilience made him a match to someone who more than anything needs someone like him who can put up with their bullshit, withstand it, look forward to seeing him, actually long for his presence in a way none of Dream's peers do.

That's just... wow I know I'm explaining myself in circle at this point, but I just can't get over it sometimes. Maybe it's the history buff in me just obsessing over someone so, so minor in the grand sweep of history being matched with someone so singularly powerful in this universe as Dream. But if you go with the popular headcanon that Death picked Hob just for the reason of being the best person in the world to be at least Dream's friend but maybe his lover and eventual partner, wow, that really just says something about birth and blood and magic not being the measure of any single beings actual importance to one another, I'm obsessed with it.

[whispers-of-lilith]

Lilith, who're your top 8 One Piece loves?

Star! Hi & thank you for popping in 🥺 Honestly, I had to think about this for a hot minute bc my brain has been hard focused on JJK lol.

Buckle up, bc this is going to be a long ass ride.

Liliths Top 8 One Piece Loves

Silvers "Dark King" Rayleigh

While I do love young Rayleigh when he was in his "prime", I will always choose older Rayleigh. It's no secret that this man definitely slept around at some point in his life. Not only does he have experience, but he knows exactly how to utilize all the skills he's learned over the years.

Rayleigh has stamina for days [ie. when his ship sank & he casually swam to Amazon Lily], he knows how to please, how to edge, etc. He could fuck me for days, to where I couldn't walk, but he wouldn't even have broken a sweat.

He seems like a fun person to be around & honestly I could see myself spending nights sitting in his lap while he drinks & tells stories of all the crazy shit he's done.

Dracule Mihawk

Ah, the dark, broody man who lives alone on an island. Literally my ideal type, bc dealing with people is hard & I'd rather spend my days on a rainy island in a massive castle.

I've probably said this one too many times, but whenever it rains I always have the urge to get railed by Mihawk next to the fireplace in his library. You just know he has a plush rug in front of it & if you bother him enough while he's reading? Best be prepared because he's going to teach you a lesson & you sure as shit can't finish until he finishes the chapter he's reading.

We could just enjoy the quiet together, I'm okay with spending time with someone even if we're doing our own thing.

Shanks

Shanks is like the golden retriever to my black cat. He doesn't take life too seriously [unless the situation calls for it & fuck if he isn't sexy when he's serious]. He knows how to have fun & would probably have the easiest time relaxing me simply by just cuddling with me.

Another man who clearly sleeps around, but knows exactly what he's got & how to please. I'm easily embarrassed & Shanks loves to embarrass, it's just in his nature.

I will always be a blushing, stuttering mess when it comes to this man's charms & I wouldn't have it any other way.

Benn "Big Dick" Beckman

You can't really have Shanks without Benn, or Benn without Shanks for that matter. Where Shanks throws caution to the wind, Benn is there to keep his ass in line.

He's gruff, stoic at times, doesn't seem to talk much, but will go feral when it comes to protecting something or someone he loves. Also, if you couldn't tell by the title I gave him, I just know this man is HUGE.

I'd melt if he called me "princess", "kitten", "pet" or anything along those lines and it's always a bonus when he follows it with a smirk. I'm down for a good railing sesh whenever he gets frustrated with Shanks [which is often].

[I just need to be eifle towered by Shanks & Benn, it'd probably solve 90% of my problems]

Charlotte Katakuri

Clearly I like the quiet / strong type if this list is any indication. Let's get the obvious out of the way first, Katakuri can & will split me in half with that dick & if that's how I go– then so be it.

I love a man with tattoos & have you seen his body?? Absolute perfection. Don't mess with the people he loves unless you have a death wish, he can & will obliterate you on sight if you do.

When he's not going feral in battle, his quiet & calculating personality is precious. He seems like the type to be easily flustered & I'd love to push him a bit so I could see his little blush. Idk he's just precious & adorable & needs to be protected at all costs.

[Ps. Would climb him like a koala]

Trafalgar Law

I loved him before I even met him in the anime. Fell for the scrungly, tired, lanky man seated on a box in Saboady. I even went as far as to cosplay a fem!Law for one of my first cons.

Again, another broody, quiet, tired man to add to my list. We're literally one in the same, we hyperfixate on things & neither of us sleep. So I know he'll always be awake at 3am to listen to me ramble about all the stupid facts I know.

Also, tbh, the tattoos do something for me. I mean, watching as his death tattoos disappear inside with each stroke? Fuck. Jsjdjajsbbxjsj. He is another one that flusters easy, but if you push him too far he 100% lets his dom side out.

Sir Crocodile

Sir Crocodile, hng. Money laundering? My man would never [yes he would & we live well bc of it, so no I'm not snitching]. I could sit in his lap like a perfect little kitten, whether he's sitting in on meetings or just enjoying a cigar, just lemme me on the big mans lap.

Lo said it best earlier, the rings. THE RINGS AND MAKING YOU CLEAN THEM JAHDUSJHAJAI. To be dominated by him would be a dream, he's so smug & cocky & ugh.

I would be his little princess, my self respect would go out the window. He 100% showers you with gifts just bc he can & he loves when you wear things he's bought you.

King [Alber]

Oh, what do you know, another quiet, strong, stoic man... see a theme here? Another man who would split me in half & I'd say thank you for doing so.

Just. His hair. His wings. His face tattoo. Everything about him was perfectly sculpted from the heavens & simply looking at him makes my day better.

On days when it's cold he could wrap us both in his wings & I'd fucking melt into a puddle. He's the type of man to be cold towards others, except for the person he loves & I'm all here for it.

[bekaroth-reads]

Stardew Valley Shane x Reader pt. 2

CONTENT WARNING: Suicidal tendencies, attempt of suicide, alcohol poisoning, vomit, dry heaves, depression, hospitalization, feelings of guilt, traumatic experiences. I have put this under a mature filter to try to warn people, but please still be cautious if any of the above things are triggering to you or have the risk of putting you into a dark place yourself.

[Other things to note: this has a lot of the actual dialogue from the game as I felt it didn’t need to be changed/ felt like chasing things too much would be disrespectful to the original vision for the scene.]

[On a more positive note, this is very long because I can’t stand leaving things on a dower note. So this is basically two fics for the price of one]

The rain would have been pleasant on most days, but since you had been rushing through it for a while it was starting to sting as your body heat cooled. The cool winds of autumn were starting to encroach on the late summer, making the temperature steadily drop the later the day got.

None of this was at the front of your thoughts. You had stopped at Marnie’s and she looked ill. She made sure to usher you to the kitchen so that Jas couldn’t hear the two of you talking where she was playing in the living room. “Have you seen Shane?” She asked as soon as she thought that she was out of Jas’s hearing range.

“Not today. I didn’t see him at the saloon last night either.” The response came slowly as you already didn’t like where this was going. Shane’s drinking was bad, and getting worse by the week. That was one of the reasons that you were going to stop by Marnie’s in the first place; you wanted to check on him and maybe talk to Marnie about the two of you teaming up to convince Shane to get the help he needed. It was clear that you and she talking to him separately wasn’t working, and you knew that he was in a dark, dangerous place.

“I got a call from Joja Mart. Morris said that he didn’t show up for his shift.” Marnie was struggling not to talk too quickly from her on-setting panic. “At first I thought that he just took the day for himself. With how difficult it is asking for days off, I figured that he just took matters into his own hands. I was thankful that he could finally rest for once. But…”

Marnie swallowed back the lump in her throat and pushed back the tears threatening to start up. “But, no one has heard a thing from him. At least no one that usually sees him. I asked Gus to keep a lookout around town, but I haven’t heard back from him yet. I want to go out and look for Shane, but if Gus calls while I’m away…”

Marnie looked back toward the living room. “I don’t want Jas to know about this until she has to. Or until… until there’s some sort of answer. It… she gets so upset when she knows Shane’s in trouble.”

Of course, you volunteered to help look for Shane; after what Marnie told you, you were planning on doing so anyway. You told her your plan to check around the edges of the pond first, then work your way through the rest of the forest from there. Your stomach lurched every time you looked over the water. As much as those thoughts were the last thing you wanted going through your mind, the reality of the situation made them something that you had to think about. Thankfully, you were reaching the bottom edge of the pond and there was nothing there other than the fish enjoying the rain.

Just as you were about to walk the board bridges to the little island close to the center of the pond, you noticed something just past the tree line, out by the cliffs in front of the small beaches below. Even in the clouded grey of the early, rainy evening, you could make out the bright green of a shirt under a ratty, blue jacket. Not even giving another second of thought, you sprinted over.

Sure enough, it was Shane. He looked frighteningly still, and even more frighteningly pale. How long had he been out here in the rain? There were bottles and cans all around him, more than enough beer to last two people for almost a month. Some of them were still unopened, which you could be thankful for. Those extra few might have been enough to kill him. As it was, he was still breathing, but just barely from the little movements of his back and shoulders.

Though you wanted to rush over to him right away, you paused.

Shane was close to the edge of the cliff- too close.

With his limbs spread out haphazardly, it looked like he passed out; one foot was even dangling off the edge. You were fearful that if you approached him too quickly it could startle him, and with how precarious his position was that would be the worst thing to do. So, feeling that there was little other option, you got as close as you dared and called out his name as gently as possible.

This made Shane move slightly; nothing more than turning his head to look at you which seemed like it was difficult to do. He mumbled something that sounded like a slurred version of your name before flopping his head back onto the muddy sod beneath him.

You nudged your way a bit closer to him and knelt down. You still didn’t dare to touch him in any way as to not invite him to jerk away or make any other sort of quick motions. There was still the danger of him falling.

“I… I’m sorry…*hic*” Shane moaned out. The convulsion in his chest was too violent to be called a hiccup and seemed to be physically painful putting a quick end to whatever words his brain fog was letting through.

“M… My life…” The next bit was more of a sob to himself before he grimaced and spat out, “It’s a pathetic joke…”

Shane shifted a bit, away from the edge, thank goodness, and the feeling of wet grass and slick mud made him cringe. Yet, it seemed like he couldn’t get himself up, stopping to even try to after straining for a few moments. “Look at me…” Shane lamented, feeling more a part of the grime that he was stuck in than the human body he inhabited. “Why do I even try?” He croaked out before breaking into a sob once more.

“I’m too small and stupid to…” Shane tried to prop himself up again, this time making it to leaning on his elbow before taking a moment to try to steady himself. “…to take control of my life…” Just as he was stretching his arms out to try to sit up entirely, the bottle that was still in his hand slipped in the slick grass, causing Shane to lose balance a fall down, landing back on the ground with a loud splat and a painful thump. The bottle shooting across the ground and falling off the cliff with a few tings followed by a loud crash made you realize just how close to the edge he was and that the next time he slipped it could lead to disaster.

So, you grabbed under his arms and pulled him forward a good few inches. You would have gone more, but Shane started it resist your moving of his body. Not wanting to lose progress, you let him go, relieved that his foot was no longer dangling off the ledge. His poor shoe didn’t survive the ordeal; there’s only so much jostling a slip-on can handle.

“I’m just a p…” It seemed that the small trip across the ground was a bit much for him as he swallowed hard to block anything from coming up. “…piece of soiled garbage flittering in the wind…”

No longer able to hold the contents of his stomach in, Shane vomited up anything that he could get out. You got the feeling this wasn’t the first time this had happened today, and in an odd way, you could be thankful for that. There was the worry of dehydration, but at least his body was doing everything it could to try to fight alcohol poisoning despite his efforts. There wasn’t much left for him to get rid of based on the painful dry heaving he was doing, and based on the consistency of what did come out, he was down to bile, which caused him to cough and sputter a bit as it burned his throat and stung his nose.

Once he got his head and throat cleared out, he took a few moments to steady his breathing and clear his head. You almost didn’t hear what he was saying once he started to speak again, his voice was so soft and broken. “I’ve been coming here often lately… looking down…”

It wasn’t by chance that he was so close to the ledge earlier. Your heart sank and screamed for his to feel it doing so. Words were gone, and you could only hope that he knew you saw his pain. You and others cared for him and you saw how hurt he was, that you wanted to help him, whatever that meant. At the moment that help was to get him to even be able to see this in the first place.

“Here’s a chance to finally take control of my life…” his bare foot stretched out to feel the rocky ground it was hanging from earlier like it was trying to make its way back that direction. “These cliffs…”

Shane heaved heavily, it caused his whole body to tense and then go limp.

“B… bu…”

More bile that neither of you thought his body even still held sputtered from his mouth and hit his chin and shirt before making its way to the ground with the rest of the filth Shane had been lying in. He seemed to hardly even notice it a moment after it happened. “…but I’m too scared, too anxious. Just like always…”

Shane whimpered your name once more as you moved him once again, trying your best to avoid the piles of vomit that reeked like rotten yeast. Shane felt icy to the touch. This wasn’t good. He had been lying out in the rain for too long and he needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Harvey would know how to help him much better than you could.

“All I do is work, sleep, and drink … t… to dull the feelings of self-hatred.” The breath that he took shortly after saying this was strangled, and you flipped him over to lie on his back, using your hands to shield his face from the rain as best you could while you tried to think of the best way to lift him from the ground and walk him through the forest.

“Why should I even go on? Tell me… T…” a sob constricted his body, “Tell me why I shouldn’t roll off this cliff right now…”

This almost sounded like a threat, but the way that he reached his hands up to grip at your pant legs like you were the only thing keeping him from falling gave away that despite all of the things chewing on his mind, he was still fighting for something, anything, for him to hold onto, both mentally and physically.

It seemed that Shane wasn’t aware of how far away from the cliff you had already moved him. Between that and the fact that he seemed like he was starting to fade in and out of consciousness, you knew you had to act fast not only to get him to Harvey but also to keep him awake. You weren’t sure if alcohol poisoning was like concussions in that way, but you weren’t going to take that chance.

“Jas needs you.” You stated as you knelt even lower to sling one of his arms over your shoulders. “You’re like a father to her.”

“… You’re right. Jas…” Another sob shook his body adding to your stumbling as you tried to stand him up while keeping your balance. “Ugh, God… I’m a horrible, *hic*… selfish person.”

You wanted more than anything to deny that, but you were currently using all of your energy to help him stumble through the woods, trying to plot your way carefully so Shane didn’t step on anything that could hurt his bare foot.

“Now I feel even worse…” Shane sobbed as he leaned more of his weight on you. It wasn’t only to keep his balance, but also because having you near made him feel grounded, made him feel safe.

About halfway back around the lake, Shane mumbled your name to get your attention. “…I think you should take me to the hospital now.” He slurred as his legs gave out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sat nervously in the waiting room, still soaked from the rain and covered in whatever Shane had all over him, mud, vomit, and all. After his legs gave out, you had to wrap his arms around your neck and practically carry him all the way to the hospital like that, his feet only moving the minimal amount and only part of the time. Harvey actually met you pretty soon after you had gotten into town as Jodie saw you two limping your way past her house and called him.

The door to the main part of the hospital opened and Harvey motioned for you to follow him back. “I’ve pumped his stomach and rehydrated his body. He’s going to be okay.” The amount of relief that washed over you almost made you collapse; your sore muscles, cold body, and frazzled mind aided in your shakiness.

“It’s good that you brought him in, though,” Harvey added before taking a deep, troubled breath and almost held it. “Too much alcohol is terrible for the body…” he let out the remainder of the breath in one, controlled puff as he thought over his wording. “…but right now I’m most worried about his mental health…”

“When he comes to, I’ll have a chat with him about his treatment options. I know an excellent counselor in Zuzu City…”

There was another pause as he thought things over.

“Life can be painful sometimes…” Harvey said as he kept looking at you while your eyes drifted over to the thin curtain that was used to make a makeshift room for Shane. “But, there’s always hope for a better future. You’ve got to believe in that.”

There was another moment of silence before Harvey got your attention away from the place you were staring at. “That counselor in Zuzu City that I told you about. Perhaps you should keep them in mind as well.”

You swallowed, looked at the curtain once more.

“Is that an official referral?” You asked.

“For the moment, a friendly suggestion. What you went through today… that was more traumatic than you might even realize at the moment.” That was an odd thing to hear as you already felt plenty traumatized. He seemed to pick up on what you were thinking and explained. “Even though you are certainly feeling plenty of it right now, things could become even more… difficult in the next few days as the shock wears off.”

You made no response but to sigh.

“Look, go home, get cleaned up, get warmed up, and get as much rest as you can manage,” Harvey instructed. You were starting to realize that him bringing you back here was as much to do with him checking on you as you checking on Shane. “And, if anything, and I mean anything, about this is bothering you, call me. Shane needs to know that he’s not alone. And, you do too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you got home and took a shower, you still couldn’t get your mind to shut off. Even though you were in your house with your pet, and the fireplace sending a pleasant warmth through the whole room, mentally you were still on those cliffs. The only difference was that in replaying the events over and over again, your mind started to come up with scenarios where things went differently, for better or for worse.

What if you were more diligent and got together with Marnie earlier? Would that have stopped Shane from what he did today? Or, what if you had decided to search another part of the forest first? Would you have gotten there in time, or-

Shaking your head to free it from the horrible what-if’s that were gnawing it to death, you walked over to your phone. You dialed Marnie. You knew that Harvey said you could call him, but it would make you feel better if you heard that she was doing alright.

The phone rang for about three buzzes before it was answered.

“Hello?” A little voice answered.

“Jas?” This was unexpected, you would have thought that surely she would be in bed by this time.

“Hi!” She answered more friendly when she realized it was you.

“Honey, is your Aunt Marnie there?”

“Yeah. AUNT MARNIE!” She called across their house.

“Hey, do you know where Uncle Shane is? Aunt Marnie said he was staying somewhere else tonight.”

Marnie must have not told Jas what was happening yet. You knew that she would, and you also knew that she knew when would be the best time to tell her niece something that heavy.

“I can’t say, kiddo.” Was all you were able to tell her about it. “Are you going to be alright if Shane is away for a bit?”

“Yeah. Shane is gone a lot. Oh! Here’s Marnie.”

There was a bit of taps and scratches against the receiver as the phone was being handed over.

“Hello? Are you there?” Marnie asked once she had gotten the phone up to her ear.

“Yeah.” you replied, “Look, I know it’s late and I won’t keep you long. But, I just wanted to see if Harvey had gotten ahold of you.”

There was a sigh that was both relieved and stressed on the other end of the line.

“Yes, he did. Thank you for checking.” She sounded like she was about to cry. “And, thank you for… god, if you didn’t find him when you did…”

“Hey, don’t worry about that.” You told her, even though that was the exact reason that you were calling her. You told yourself it was keeping an eye on each other instead of being hypocritical.

“Y…you’re right,” Marnie said and sniffled her tears back. “How about you, dear? Are you doing alright?”

It was sweet of her to ask. Marnie was always looking out for other people, even in times like these where she must have been going through a lot.

“I’m doing fine, Marnie. Thanks.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been about a week since you had found Shane by the cliffs. Marnie had told you that he had gotten back home a few days after he was admitted to the hospital and that he was supposed to rest for a long time after that. That’s what you assumed that he would be doing this morning, especially seeing as it was still quite early; early enough that the sun was only just starting to shine fully.

Yet, when you opened your door to head into your fields, there was an awkward-looking Shane standing there with his hand up like he was just about to knock.

“Hey…” he cleared his throat and debated on what to do with his hand for a few seconds before pretending like he was just going to smooth down his hair.

“Hey.” You said back.

You both fidgeted for a minute or two with anything that you could find to keep yourselves busy. Finally, Shane broke the silence.

“Oh, man… Uh… How do I say this?” He groaned as he looked everywhere he could except at you.

Shane took a breath, calmed his nerves, “I’m really sorry about what happened at the cliffs. That was… embarrassing…”

Whatever awkward feelings you had were pushed aside by the overwhelming need to comfort someone dear to you. You took his hand without even realizing it, your subconscious wanting to be close to him at least in some way. “I’m just happy you’re still here.” You assured him. Shane was on the way to getting the help that he needed; more important help than you could ever dream of giving him. But, he needed to know that he wasn’t alone. And, you were more than happy to let him know that you were there for him, that you cared for him.

“Wow, it was that serious, huh?” He marveled before adding in a guilty tone, “I can hardly remember…”

Shane took his hand away from yours and turned away, and watched the newly turned, orange and yellow leaves leave their trees and float in the air. Without looking back to you, he kept talking. “I’ve decided I want to see a therapist. Harvey got me in touch with a colleague of his…”

You turned to watch the leaves with him. You weren’t sure how long both of you stood there, but you didn’t care. He was here, and that was all that mattered.

“Anyway…” Shane started to talk again, but paused a moment. You felt his hand take yours, hesitantly at first, but the hold became more confident very quickly. “I just wanted to thank you for taking care of me. And, I want you to know that I’m going to take things a little more seriously from now on.

The hold on your hand loosened a bit as his whole body seemed to slump at a thought.

“I don’t want to be a burden on anyone…” he muttered.

You kept your eyes on the leaves but acknowledged him by giving his hand a squeeze.

Shane gave a sigh of relief and squeezed your hand back as the two of you continued to watch the sun rise more onto the little patches of red, yellow, and orange that danced on the breeze.

[helaelaemond]

I found a random headcanon prompts list and these are a few fun ones you could answer with Billy in mind? 🤠

Preferred weather?

Favorite music?

How’s their cooking?

It’s movie night, what movie do they pick?

What’s their sleeping position? (Oh please with GF, I need something to dreamily stare into a wall about 🫠)

Who do they go to for comfort?

Something small that they enjoy?

How do they feel about physical contact by others?

What is enough to bring them to tears?

Biggest pet peeve?

What’s something they like that may be surprising to others?

Any bad habits that they have? (Except for being played by alt-righters)

What’s their idea of a perfect vacation?

How well do they accept advice?

Do they like being in pictures?

What’s their morning schedule?

Something that disgusts them?

Omg Omg tysm for sending such a long list I love you I love you I love you!!!!!!!

Preferred weather - nothing too warm. He lives in London which can get very humid very quick, and buses/tubes are rancid in the heat. He likes it no warmer than 20oC, and sunny. Cloudy and rainy makes it too humid. When he’s on holiday, he likes the dry heat (I just knowwww he’s got fucked up on the Maga strip after a day of drinking and sunbathing)

Fav music - London grime remains unmatched!!!!! And he’s deffo got soft spot for video game soundtracks!

How’s their cooking? - if he put effort into it, he’d do just fine. However, he’s very reluctant to try, because the clean up involved after can be pretty daunting!

It’s movie night, what do they pick? - if he’s alone, a horror of the simple variety (a slasher, maybe). A mindless action, too, maybe. I also peg him as a Star Wars fan (idc why, I don’t care for it myself) so maybe one of the many tv shows or movies in that franchise!

What’s their sleeping position? - if he’s sleeping alone, he sleeps on his stomach in a starfish position, all stretched out. He usually goes to sleep that way, and wakes up on his side curled up around a pillow. When he’s with you, he finds himself being the little spoon. He still curls around a pillow, and it makes him feel so safe when you curl around him. Sometimes he likes to go to sleep facing you and holding your hand on the pillow between you.

Who do they go to for comfort? - no one. He’s a typical bloke who internalises a lot of stuff. However, if his mum approaches the subject of what’s bothering him, she has the best chance of getting him to open up and comforting him. She’s always been a barrier between him and his dad in the best way possible, and he sometimes feels safe enough to be genuinely vulnerable with her.

Something small that they enjoy? - seeing groups of teenagers having fun, being loud, laughing out and about. Yeah, it can be annoying as hell, but it reminds him of his younger days before things got complicated and bad, and he can appreciate reminders of those memories now.

How do they feel about physical contact from others? - he loathes it because he craves it so badly. He shies from it because it weighs too much, means too much. When he’s with a partner, he chases it and seeks it out at every chance he gets.

What is enough to bring them to tears? - reminders of his failures and inadequacies. This can be especially difficult when considering his professionally successful sister, with her stable job and partner and life, and his own self loathing eats him up.

Biggest pet peeve? - snobbery

What’s something that they like that may be surprising to others? - he’s very much a cat person. He likes their company and how they interact with the world, and once he cleans up his flat - and life - he swears he’ll get one of his own.

Any bad habits other than being a member of the alt right for a time? - smoking and vaping. He definitely is one of those smokers who just throws his fag on the floor when he’s done with it, and he deffo uses disposable vapes he’s a NASTY BOY!!!

What’s their idea of an ideal vacation? - lads holiday to one of the party islands in the Med. Up for the buffet at 8 and then beat the Germans to the sun loungers by the pool. Sleeping all day in the sun, boozing by lunch, shower and nap in the room til 6. Buffet dinner at 7, hotel bar til 10. Cross the strip to the first bar, and then hop into every establishment until 5am. Back to the room by 5:30, breakfast buffet at 8. Repeat 💪🏼😜

How well do they accept advice? - depends who it’s from. From dad? Poorly. Mum? Okay-ish. Lana? Well fuck she makes sims good points, he’ll consider it.

Do they like being in pictures? - he doesn’t hate it but he doesn’t mind it. Billy will never initiate taking pictures, but if he’s asked to be in one he’s usually game!

What’s their morning schedule? - sleep til 10, job centre by 11:30. He’s trying his best 🥹

Something that disgusts them? - genuinely the memories of the mistakes he made that hurt people and led to his car being turned into a giant bomb.

Tysm this was so fun omfg ily!!! 💖💖💖

[visityaratoday]

FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions/ preguntas frecuentes- Page 2

We received so many more questions than we could properly respond to in one sitting, so here we go for part 2. From immigration to some very intimate questions, we respond to them all!

Q: Is it true that everyone in Yara can fix cars?

A: Surely not everyone, but general car repair is a crucial skill to learn early in life when available cars are old and likely to break down. If you do need your car repaired though, please go to a mechanic shop. There are plenty around Yara.

Q: Where can i buy cigars?

A: You can buy cigars at local shops or from stands in public squares and markets. However, it is worth mentioning that many Yarans smoke Mexican tobacco as most of our tobacco fields have been taken over by the Viviro™ industry and may or may not contain a compound used in its production that may or may not cause your eyes to bleed and your brain to fry. Something to keep in mind if you are purchasing a souvenir for uncle Bob.

Q: I want to move to Yara. Any advice?

A: Yes. Stay home. No offense but most foreigners could not handle Yara full time. It’s all fun and games for a few weeks, but you would need to deal with hurricanes, shortages of every kind, the bureaucracy is a nightmare.. we’re not even talking about the housing crisis, the constant economic collapse. Honestly, a lot of Yarans are trying to get the f out of here you wanna come in?! You could always get a non paying job at an Outcast camp if this is truly your dream. They’ll take anybody. You don’t even need to speak Spanish. Otherwise, stay home. You are happy there.

Q: Can you go surfing?

A: Of course! Although jetskis are much more popular and readily available to rent and use.

Q: I want to do a Cruise, but I hate going on boats. What do you recommend?

A: Helicopter tours! - Check it out!

Q: Are there any hospitals? How is the healthcare?

A: We have hospitals and field clinics. Travelers may access medical services as long as they do not have a criminal record. People with a criminal history or history of civil disobedience are not entitled to receive care. (Doctors and nurses can actually lose their licenses and be thrown in jail if they assist you. It’s harsh, we know, but we don’t make those rules.)

If you do suffer an injury or fall ill while traveling in Yara and you believe you do not qualify for healthcare, you can find an unlicensed field clinic that may be able to provide care for a price. But keep in mind, those installations are not always the cleanest. They do what they can.

Editor's Note: Here is one such unlicensed "field clinic" doing what they can.

Q: What do I do if someone tries to sell me crap on the beach?

A: Whatever you do, just be polite. Those people are simply trying to make a living. ‘No, gracias,’ goes a long way. Or perhaps do consider parting with a couple of pesos. Consider it your gift to our beautiful country.

Q: Why is it raining? Isn’t yara supposed to be a tropical country?

A: Hello, hurricane season. We are a Caribbean island and do have a rainy season which spans from about May through November. If you were here in September or October, chances are you got rain.

Q: do they eat dogs in Yara?

A: NO! We do have feral dogs but dogs are not a source of protein for most Yarans in normal times. There are backwoods cantinas that prepare and serve coyote meat but this is not a dish we could recommend.

Q: Are there any vegan restaurants? What do you recommend?

A: Veganism isn’t quite as widespread or popular in our country yet. Meat and fish remain the staple diet in Yara out of necessity. We are unable to recommend any vegan restaurant at this time. Lo siento.

Q: Is Yara LBGTQ friendly?

A: This is always quite the touchy subject because I am obliged to say that “Love is Love” is not quite a thing yet in our country, not for lack of effort to change things on the part of many of our citizens. Same sex marriage is not recognized nor legal in Yara at least at the time this article was written.

That being said, there are some drag shows that the government sponsors in an effort to appear more progressive and open-minded. There is at least one known underground gay bar but we are unable to share its location in order to protect the privacy and safety of the Yarans that may frequent said establishment. All and all, LGBTQ+ travelers, with a bit of research and a lot - a lot!! - of discretion may yet find that Yara’s queer community is alive and well, if away from the public eye.

Q: I don’t speak Spanish. Can I still travel to Yara?

A: Most Yarans are bilingual as English as a second language is taught throughout elementary school. There are some bilingual signs and all public announcements are played in Spanish and in English. As for other languages, we know of a small Russian-Yaran community and perhaps a minority of multilingual people but we cannot make assumptions that any language other than Spanish and English will be widely understood.

Q: Can I speak to the manager?

A: If by manager you mean El Presidente de Yara, this is not something we would recommend attempting. Grievances could be addressed with the PDP (Protectorado de Defensa de la Patria) but this is not something we would recommend doing either.

Q: What’s the best sniper rifle?

A: We are in no way gun experts and do not condone violence of any kind.

Q: Why are all the clocks set to 6:13?

A: That’s an urban legend.

Editor's Note: ...

Q: Why are yaran chicks so hot?

A: Because it’s hot in Yara.

Q: Are the men circumcised?

A: Ehhh I haven't had the chance to interview every man in Yara to find out but from my brief compulsory military service where privacy is practically nonexistent, I wanna say, mostly no?

Editor's Note: Do we edit that one out? 

Q: Is it true that cockfighting is legal? Why are you so backwards and barbaric?

A: Whether cockfighting is officially legal is debatable. The authorities are surely aware of tournaments occurring, they just don’t care. It is in no way everyone’s cup of tea and it isn’t a national sport or anything, more of an underground thing. There are known fighting rooster breeders such as Álvarez Farm and Esmeralda Eco Farm but don’t go to that one. Just.. don’t.

Q: Can I get a refund if it rains?

A:¿Puedo obtener un reembolso si las personas me hacen preguntas tontas? The rainy season in the Caribbean runs from late May through November. Perhaps you would enjoy a nice vacation on the surface of the Sun instead? Book your tickets here.

Q: Are there any coconut trees in Yara? I once went to Fiji and was too afraid to leave my room because I have a phobia of a coconut falling from a tree and killing me.

A: Your call.

Go to: FAQ Page 3

Back to Content Index

[bonesandthebees]

okay so like i was gonna just start on this tonight and get the general ideas down and finish this when i was Awake and Functioning but then i started rambling so uhhh jazz handss

take me describing the diff energies ur fics give off, i am sorry if this is uncomprehensible fjwaewf (is that even a word?? incomprehensible? ye-)

through a glass divine: DEFFFF rainy day vibes, the au feels very Elegant to me even though glass!wilbur himself is very much not, when I read glass I get the same vibes as being in a car /pos, it's comforting but can get intense at times, sometimes with no warning. like one minute your head is against the glass (heh, pun unintended lol), and ur looking out at the streetlamps, the next the breaks are SLAMMED and u get whacked against the seatbelt lmfaoooo (this is all /pos !! i love the angst lol)

world forgetting: FOGGG, that's the first thought that pops into my head, things are unclear first and it's a little eerie but there's also something comforting about it (i will use this word a lot bc . well ur writing is comforting hehehe), the first half of wf was very exciting, it reminded me of when i used to have my mcu marathons, edge of my seat, shoving popcorn into my face, and just glee, the first few chapters with wf especially with the combat made me so fucking giddy lmfaooo i had so much fun reading it, the second half was a lot more calm and melancholy, it was defff sitting on the couch while it rains outside vibes, like MM the hurt comfort?? give me a blanket and a pillow to squeeze bc hot damnn

stars and their children: stars man . hooweeee, this fic was binging a 12 season show vibes, you invest a lot into it and wow the emotional damage?? for real. this fic was late night rants at sleepovers, theorizing n coming up with silly conspiracy theories (i think this was when i really started reading the asks, so for me it has a lot of those vibes tied to it), when i read stars… i feel a lot of Awe. it feels big, it feels important, it also feels like im reading a very fancy novel from a very big library, like i feel like i've stepped into a massive multi-tiered library and plucked my favourite book from its shelf, i can imagine the hardcover being absolutely gorgeous, it gives me the same vibes as getting assigned a book to read in class and having your mind blown /pos from it, like "damn i understand why they make us read this bc wow"

(fun fact i have ur ao3 page bookmarked on my toolbar lmaoooo)

honey and tangerines: well . this one just gives me island and coastal vibes lolll u described them very well, but okay from a reading perspective? besides indie movie lmao. i'd say… hanging out with a friend you haven't seen in a while. it's familiar, it's bittersweet, it's thrilling. honey and tangerines gives me the vibes of doing something youve been wanting to for awhile but were always too scared to. pushing your boundaries. it's all those classic "finally living life vibes", staying out till 3 am, finally getting around to decorating your room, going on a roadtrip. when i read honey and tangerines, it feels like i'm experiencing life. all the prev fics either feel like novels or movies, but hats feels like life

what the water gave me: ngl when i read this i just feel such pure emotion that i cry like idek how to explain it man. it's so all encompassing /pos it does give me staying up late in my room with fairy lights vibes though, dunno why. just gives off that same warm energy

A DUSTY TOMB OMGGOJEAWE i need to reread that anyways

a dusty tomb: straight off the bat, playing dnd. dnd is so much fun and i have so many happy memories from it and a dusty tomb defff gives off those vibes, chaos, freeing, family. it also gives off the vibe of finding a piece of old writing in a buried notebook and reading it and going "wtf?? when did i write this this is amazing" maybe that's just bc it feels like u read my mind writing it lmao it's perfect i adore it so much and i have reread it an unholy amount of times, i just get the vibes of sitting criss cross on the floor and reading it, it's not necessarily a comfy position but it's enjoyable nonetheless, just a happy moment for oneself, it feels like giving yourself a treat, self care, all of that good stufff

no time confounds me: def feels like watching a tv show /pos, it def feels like smth i'd put on w my stepmom or my birth mom and just absolutely fucking Vibe to it bro, that fic is suchhh a vibe, i'd sink into my couch and get HOOKED, it also ofc brings w it all the vibes of just where i live LMAO, and the motorcycling reminds me of my dad <333 i miss motorcycling with him dawggg it's so much fun, but yeahhh. all the vibes described in the fic just make me want to go out for a hike in a forest lmao, i love it. also hot chocolate. this fic is defff drinking hot chocolate vibes

nocturnal animals: ooohh this one is defff late night vibes, working late on hw and looking out ur window and just taking a moment to appreciate the stars n stuff, also windy day vibes, this def feels like a novel my friend would shove at me to read and i'd be like "brooo i dont even LIKE vampires" and theyd be like "no bro just trust me" and then i'd be really bored one day so i'd pick it up and then get addicted . and then in this hypothetical series that has like a billion books i'd go to the library and borrow them all and binge them in a week lmfao, i love this fic sm ngl, i would proudly display this fic on my bookshelf (well i mean, i would literally display all of ur fics on my bookshelf KING i would have a shelf dedicated to ur fics 100%)

okay… i think those are all the main fics, there're a couple more that i've read but i am . getting really really reallyyy tired and idek if any of this is comphrensible lmfaooo 😭 😭 😭

i hope u enjoyed bee <333 tldr: i love ur writing and i have core memories attached to all of these fics and they are all special to me in their own way <33

ohhhh these are so cool to read icy (sorry it took me so long to respond I've been so busy lately)

lmao love all the drama in glass being compared to a car braking super suddenly. rainy car drives is definitely not the vibe I think it has in my head but that's super sweet to imagine :)

comparing stars to a Big Fancy Book makes me so happy thank you so much. I have this absolutely gorgeous fancy version of Dune with a stunning cover and I always imagine something kind of similar as the 'cover' for stars in my head so i love that you imagine that too

in contrast you and i feel the exact same about honey and tangerines. it's definitely that kind of bittersweet reconciling friendship vibe. saying it feels like life means so much thank you <33 thats exactly what I was going for

to me what the water gave me feels like swimming in a warm tropical ocean at night which might be a bit on the nose but yeah that's what I think of. but fairy lights in a room sounds so nice I love that

awww I love that idea for dusty tomb. just rereading something nostalgic and wonderful and feeling so comforted by it. that makes me smile a lot to imagine :)

hot chocolate and watching a tv show YEAHHHH you get it that's exactly what i was going for from no time confounds me. also that's so funny that you mention motorcycling with your dad bc that's where my descriptions of riding motorcycles comes from. my dad always used to pick me up from school on his motorcycle when I was a little kid, it was so much fun

oooo windy day for nocturnal animals is interesting but I love it. also god you saying it feels like a series with dozens of books reminds me of this vampire series i read in middle school that had like 10 books it's absolutely nothing like nocturnal animals but now I'm having a nostalgia trip thinking about it lol

thank you icy this was so sweet to read :)

[littlebodyinkheart]

HERE IT ISSS MY STUPID DDLC X INKHEART AU!!

Unfortunately, the file got messed up when I pasted it here, so I couldn't add any fancy visual effects to it (trust me when I say it looked SO much better in the original file), so I guess we'll just have to take what we can get.

So enjoy :D (I hope)

Ladies and gents of the Inkheart (and DDLC) community, I, @hearts4capricorn , present to you:

DOKI DOKI!🖋

❤️‍🔥FIRE RAISERS CLUB!❤️‍🔥

Monika - Capricorn

Sayori - Dustfinger

Natsuki - Basta

Yuri - Mo

Greetings, Capricorn here!

Welcome to the Fire Raisers! It's always been a dream of mine to reach the top and do great things, as of starting this “club” if you will, will only make things easier for me. Now that you're also a Fire Raiser, you can help me make that dream come true in this fantasy novel.

Every day is full of chit-chat and activities with all of my loyal and unique club members:

Dustfinger, the youthful and optimistic “Fire Dancer” who values life the most;

Basta, the deceivingly hot-headed boy who packs an assertive punch; also my most loyal henchman;

Mortimer Folchart, the timid and mysterious one who finds comfort in the world of books;

...And, of course, Capricorn, the leader of the club. (That's me)

I'm expecting you to make friends with everyone and help the Fire Raisers become stronger than ever. But I can tell already that you're a sweetheart—will you promise to spend the most time with me?

Mo poems

Act 1, second day

Ghost under the light

My hair illuminates beneath the amber glow.

Glowing.

It must be this one.

The last remaining streetlight to have withstood the test of time.

The last yet to be replaced by the sickening blue-green of the future.

I bathe. Calm; breathing air of the present but living in the past.

The light flickers.

I flicker back.

Act 1, third day

On First Looking into Chapman’s Homer

Much have I travell’d in the realms of gold,

And many goodly states and kingdoms seen;

Round many western islands have I been

Which bards in fealty to Apollo hold.

Oft of one wide expanse had I been told

That deep-browed Homer ruled as his demesne;

Yet did I never breathe its pure serene

Till I heard Chapman speak out loud and bold:

Then felt I like some watcher of the skies

When a new planet swims into his ken;

Or like stout Cortez when with eagle eyes

He star’d at the Pacific — and all his men

Look’d at each other with a wild surmise —

Silent, upon a peak in Darien.

Act 1, fourth day

The Tenth Muse Lately Sprung up in America

Thou ill-formed offspring of my feeble brain,

Who after birth didst by my side remain,

Till snatched from thence by friends, less wise than true,

Who thee abroad, exposed to public view,

Made thee in rags, halting to th’ press to trudge,

Where errors were not lessened (all may judge).

At thy return my blushing was not small,

My rambling brat (in print) should mother call,

I cast thee by as one unfit for light,

The visage was so irksome in my sight;

Yet being mine own, at length affection would

Thy blemishes amend, if so I could.

I washed thy face, but more defects I saw,

And rubbing off a spot still made a flaw.

Act 2

Tyrant

My first thought was, he lied in every word,

That hoary cripple, with malicious EYE

Askance to watch the working of his lie

On mine, and mouth scarce able to afford

Suppression of the glee, that purs’d and scor’d

Its edge, at one more victim gain’d thereby …

The Bell

And then I heard them lift a Box

And creak across my Soul

With those same Boots of Lead, again,

Then Space – began to toll,

AS ALL THE HEAVENS WERE A BELL,

And Being, but an EAR,

And I, and Silence, some strange Race,

WreTCHEDed, solitary, HERE

C ICORN S L ST ENING

Dustfinger poems

Act 1, second day

Dear fire

The way you glow and crackle in the night,

It makes me feel like you missed me too.

Kissing my forehead to help me out of bed.

Making me rub the sleep from my eyes.

Are you asking me to come out and play?

Are you trusting me to wish away a rainy day?

I look above. The sky is of deep blue.

It's a secret, but I trust you too.

If it wasn't for you, I could sleep forever.

But I'm not mad.

I want to play with you.

Act 1, third day

And I to fire

My Love is like to ice, and I to fire:

How comes it then that this her cold so great

Is not dissolved through my so hot desire,

But harder grows the more I her entreat?

Or how comes it that my exceeding heat

Is not allayed by her heart-frozen cold,

But that I burn much more in boiling sweat,

And feel my flames augmented manifold?

Dustfinger's poetry pamphlet poem

%

Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of my head. Get out of

Get.

Out.

Of.

My.

Head.

Ashes denote that fire was;

Respect the grayest pile

For the departed creature’s sake

That hovered there awhile.

But a fire never actually dies.

It just stops moving.

Basta poems

Act 1, second day

Knives

Knives are sharp.

Knives are dangerous.

Knives are fun.

Knives can kill.

Knives can make you feel alive.

Knives go away.

Act 1, third day

Sharp

each night

when I go to bed

I lay on my side

because there are

knives in my back

and knives in my head

lying on my back

or lying on my chest

would only push the

knives in further

But then comes a hand

To guide me through the dark

And when I reach to grab it

The knives retract with a spark

Act 1, fourth day

Because you

Tomorrow will be brighter with me around

But when today is dim, I can only look down.

My looking is a little more forward

Because you look at me.

When I want to say something, I say it with a shout!

But my truest feelings can never come out.

My words are a little less empty

Because you listen to me.

When something is above me, I reach for the stars.

But when I feel small, I don't get very far.

My standing is a little bit taller

Because you sit with me.

I believe in myself with all of my heart.

But what do I do when it's torn all apart?

My faith is a little bit stronger

Because you trusted me.

My pen always puts my feelings to the test.

I'm not a good writer, but my best is my best.

My poems are a little bit dearer

Because you think of me.

Because you, because you, because you.

Act 2

Too many

"There’s too many”,

And they looked at me.

Did someone stab me?

It felt like it.

And then they said my name.

Did someone twist the knife?

It hurts.

Basta's request

I don't know how else to bring this up. But there's been something I've been worried about. Dustfinger has been acting kind of strange lately. You've only been here a few days, so you may not know what I mean. But he's not normally like this. He's always been sarcastic and lively and annoyingly energetic ...things like that.

Okay... This is really embarrassing, but I'm forcing myself to suck it up. The truth is, I'm REALLY worried about him. But I would rather DIE than try talking to him about it. He's my WORST ENEMY. I don't know what to do. I think you're the only person that he'll listen to. I don't know why. But please try to do something. Maybe you can convince him to talk to someone.

I've always wanted to try getting closer to “Dirty-Finger” and it actually really hurts me to see this happening. I know I'm going to hate myself later for admitting that, but right now I don't care. I just feel so helpless. So please see if you can do something to help. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I'll even give you my knife for a day if I have to. Just please try to do something.

As for Capricorn... I don't know why, but he's been making me feel weird recently. Something in his eyes makes me freeze in fear when he glances at me, and I feel like I'm missing something important that I can't remember. So I'm trying my best to avoid getting him mad right now, and that's why I'm coming to you about this. DON'T LET HIM KNOW I WROTE THIS!!!! Just pretend like I gave you a really good poem, okay? I'm counting on you. Thanks for reading.

“I changed my mind.”

“Ignore everything you just read”

“There's no point in trying to do anything”

“It's Dustfinger's own fault that he's so unlikable”

“Can you hear me, reader?”

“If you would just spend more time with Capricorn, all these problems would go away.”

“Silvertongue and I are too messed up for someone as wonderful as you.”

“Just think of Capricorn from now on.”

“Just Capricorn.”

Just Capricorn.

Just Capricorn.

Just Capricorn.

*game restart*

Cornelia Funke

(Team Salvato)

Just Capricorn.

Capricorn poems

Act 1, second day

The Lady Who Knows Everything

An old tale tells of a lady who wanders Earth.

The Lady who Knows Everything.

A beautiful lady who has found every answer,

All meaning,

All purpose,

And all that was ever sought.

And here I am,

a feather

Lost adrift the sky, victim of the currents of the wind.

Day after day, I search.

I search with little hope, knowing legends don't exist.

But when all else has failed me,

When all others have turned away,

The legend is all that remains -

the last dim star glimmering in the twilight sky.

Until one day, the wind ceases to blow.

I fall.

And I fall and fall, and fall even more.

Gentle as a feather.

A dry quill, expressionless.

But a hand catches me, between the thumb and forefinger.

The hand of a beautiful lady.

I look at her eyes and find no end to her gaze.

The Lady who Knows Everything knows what I am thinking.

Before I can speak, she responds in a hollow voice.

"I have found every answer, all of which amount to nothing.

There is no meaning.

There is no purpose.

And we seek only the impossible.

I am not your legend.

Your legend does not exist."

And with a breath, she blows me back afloat, and I pick up a gust of wind.

Act 1, third day

Hole in Wall

It couldn't have been me.

See, the direction the spackle protrudes.

A noisy neighbor? An angry boyfriend? I'll never know. I wasn't home.

I peer inside for a clue.

No! I can't see. I reel, blind, like a film left out in the sun.

But it's too late. My retinas.

Already scorched with a permanent copy of the meaningless image.

It's just a little hole. It wasn't too bright.

It was too deep.

Stretching forever into everything.

A hole of infinite choices.

I realize now, that I wasn't looking in.

I was looking out.

And she, on the other side, was looking in.

Act 1, fourth day

Hole in wall 2

But she wasn't looking at me.

Confused, I frantically glance at my surroundings.

But my burned eyes can no longer see color.

Are there others in this room? Are they talking?

Or are they simply words on flat sheets of paper,

The sound of frantic scrawling playing tricks on my ears?

The room begins to crinkle.

Closing in on me.

The air I breathe dissipates before it reaches my lungs.

I panic. There must be a way out.

It's right there. She's right there.

Swallowing my fears, I brandish my pen.

Act 2

Wheel.

A rotating wheel. Turning an axle. Grinding. Bolthead. Linear gearbox. Falling sky. Seven holy stakes. A docked ship. A portal to another world. A thin rope tied to a thick rope. A torn harness. Parabolic gearbox. Expanding universe. Time controlled by slipping cogwheels. Existence of God. Swimming with open water in all directions. Drowning. A prayer written in blood. A prayer written in time-devouring snakes with human eyes. A thread connecting all living human eyes. A kaleidoscope of holy stakes. Exponential gearbox. A sky of exploding stars. God disproving the existence of God. A wheel rotating in six dimensions. Forty gears and a ticking clock. A clock that ticks one second for every rotation of the planet. A clock that ticks forty times every time it ticks every second time. A bolthead of holy stakes tied to the existence of a docked ship to another world. A kaleidoscope of blood written in clocks. A time-devouring prayer connecting a sky of forty gears and open human eyes in all directions. Breathing gearbox. Breathing bolthead. Breathing ship. Breathing portal. Breathing snakes. Breathing God. Breathing blood. Breathing holy stakes. Breathing human eyes. Breathing time. Breathing prayer. Breathing sky. Breathing wheel.

Open Your Third Eye

I can feel the tenderness of her skin through the knife, as if it were an extension of my sense of touch. My body nearly convulses. There's something incredibly faint, deep down, that screams to resist this uncontrollable pleasure. But I can already tell that I'm being pushed over the edge. I can't... I can't stop myself.

And suddenly all I see is red. Red blood. Red church. Red cathedral. Red satin. Red God. Red sky.

And the eye opens.

Act 3

Happy End.

Pen in hand, I find my strength.

The courage endowed upon me by my one and only love.

Together, let us dismantle this crumbling world

And write a novel of our own fantasies.

With a flick of his pen, the lost finds his way.

In a world of infinite choices, behold this special day.

After all,

Not all good times must come to an end.

Mo words

1. Pages

2. Book

3. Journal

4. Fantasy

5. Imagination

6. Words

7. Journey

8. Judgement

9. Landscape

10. Philosophy

11. Portrait

12. Intellectual

13. Analysis

14. Atone

15. Question

16. Time

17. Variance

18. Story

19. Novel

20. Tenacious

Dustfinger words

1. Fire

2. Adventure

3. Daydream

4. Match

5. Dancer

6. Summon

7. Fairy

8. Marten

9. Fireworks

10. Family

11. Home

12. Coward

13. Forgive

14. Friendship

15. Nature

16. Garden

17. Return

18. Scars

19. Unrequited

20. Secret

Basta words

1. Knife

2. Sharp

3. Edge

4. Neglect

5. Trust

6. Loyalty

7. Betrayal

8. Curse

9. Hex

10. Spell

11. Luck

12. Superstitious

13. Clairvoyant

14. Cat

15. Mint

16. Jacket

17. Anxiety

18. Tough

19. Blade

20. Dagger

+ Bonus!

Capricorn words

1. Shadow

2. Red

3. Cathedral

4. Master

5. Heart

6. Tyrant

7. Murder

8. Ashes

9. Memory

10. Crimson

11. Lust

12. Cage

13. Climax

14. Massacre

15. Wrath

16. Hate

17. Childhood

18. Father

19. King

20. Ink

Your Reality.

Every day, I imagine a future where I can be with you

In my hand is a pen that will write a poem of me and you

The ink flows down into a dark puddle

Just move your hand, write the way into his heart

But in this world of infinite choices

What will it take just to find that special day?

What will it take just to find that special day?

Have I found everybody a fun assignment to do today?

When you're here, everything that we do is fun for them anyway

When I can't even read my own feelings

What good are words when a smile says it all?

And if this world won't write me an ending

What will it take just for me to have it all?

Does my pen only write bitter words for those who are dear to me?

Is it love if I take you, or is it love if I set you free?

The ink flows down into a dark puddle

How can I write love into reality?

If I can't hear the sound of your heartbeat

What do you call love in your reality?

And in your reality, if I don't know how to love you

I'll leave you be.

CREDITS✒️

Doki Doki Literature Club! - Dan Salvato

Monika, Natsuki, Yuri, Sayori - Dan Salvato

Your Reality - Dan Salvato, Jillian Ashcraft

Poems “Ghost Under The Light”, “Because you”, “Wheel”, “Open Your Third Eye”, “Happy End”, “Dear Sunshine/Fire”, “Hole in wall”, “Hole in wall 2”, “The Lady who Knows Everything” - Doki Doki Literature Club!

Inkheart - Cornelia Funke

Capricorn, Mortimer Folchart, Basta, Dustfinger - Cornelia Funke

POEM CREDITS✒️

“Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came”

(Tyrant) - Robert Browning

“I Felt a Funeral, in My Brain”

(The Bell) - Emily Dickinson

“The Tenth Muse Lately sprung up in America” - Anne Bradstreet

“On First Looking into Chapman's Homer” - John Keats

“My love is like to ice, And I to Fire”

(And I to Fire) - Edmund Spenser

“Ashes denote that fire was”

(Dustfinger's poetry pamphlet poem)

- Emily Dickinson

“Knives” - user “Izzy” on hellopoetry.com

“Sharp” (short fragment from “knives”) - user “Rick Adams” on hellopoetry.com

@peppermintfreak @tintenherzundseele @a-pun-and-ten-dead

[litgwritersroom]

Maybe a Dana Fic or Alfie fic

Jealous

S5 | Dana/MC | 4300+ words | @tammyisobsessedwith

A fluffy in-Villa fic wher Dana and MC come clean about their feelings for one another.

“So how do you feel about Dana cracking on with Suresh?”

Luma almost smirked when she heard the question, as she’d known that would be coming up from the moment she’d been called to the Beach Hut to give her take on what had happened during that day. She tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder as she gathered her thoughts and adjusted her position on the seat.

“Oh well, it is what it is.” She replied easily with a shrug and a smile that didn’t quite reach her green eyes. “I mean, it’s day 3 and I think we’re all still getting to know each other, so if she wants to see if there’s something there, more power to her, I guess. God knows I’m done with him.”

She meant what she said, even if she wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about the new developments. Still, she tried to be mature about it and not take things too personally. She knew how things could easily get complicated at the Love Island Villa and they had barely started, no doubt there would be many tests coming their way. She didn’t want to kick off over such minor things so early on.

But as the day went on, with everything else happening during the challenge and the near fight, Luma felt livid.

This was definitely not the summer holiday in paradise that she’d signed up for. 

Go on Love Island, they said. It’s going to be fun, they said. A chance to spend time with half naked sexy singles under the Spanish sun and live a summer romance.

The part about the Spanish sun was true and probably the highlight of her first three days at the famous Villa, if she were honest. Having lived in the UK for the past five years, she’d learned to tolerate how grey and rainy most of her days were, but she’d never truly gotten used to it. Where she came from, 15ºC was not going-out-wearing-shorts weather (something she’d constantly argue about with her Brit friends) and now she was once more reminded how her body truly seemed more adapted to living in tropical places.

And she’d admit that the part about the half naked sexy singles was also true. One of the main things she loved about going on holiday to warm places was strutting around in a sexy two-piece, feeling the gorgeous sun caressing her skin and deepening her tan. The other Islanders at the Villa also seemed to be of that same opinion and she’d loved just watching them all walking around as she surreptitiously admired the eye candy from behind her sunglasses.

It wasn’t just about the hot bodies, to be fair. The girls were so much fun. Luma remembered how excited Dana had been when she’d first arrived, greeting her at the door and welcoming her in. There was something about her smile that was so disarming, the way she laughed and made jokes, making her feel so at ease, as if they’d known each other for a lifetime instead of mere days. She’d known from the moment they met that they’d just click and so far that turned out to be true.

She still wasn’t quite sure where she stood with Kat, but one thing Luma had realised about the dancer from Essex was that she was exactly like her best friend back home: fierce, confident, unapologetic and honest as fuck. Kat might be a handful, a player and a little bit of a bitch, and they certainly weren’t the best of friends, but Luma would always rather surround herself with people who told it to you straight than those who danced around a subject.

The boys were also very promising. Right off the bat, Alfie seemed cheeky and fun, Eddie was handsome and quite sweet, and Finn was definitely living up to the role of first bombshell of the season. They were all willing to get to know her, some more eagerly than others, but at any rate they made it known that she was on their radar.

All of that potential for romance and yet Luma had been coupled up with her cheating ex-boyfriend, Suresh.

I came here expecting a fresh start and the second I walk into the Villa I see his fucking face again. Fuck my life.

She had not spent the last year getting over his sorry arse only to be brought back into that situation once more. It had been months of crying on her friends’ shoulders, going out dancing until her feet hurt so much she couldn’t remain standing up anymore, retail therapy and actual therapy, but she was finally back in a good place. For Luma at least, their story was over and there would be no rekindling of any sort in the near future.

She was struggling with being at the very least cordial with him, as she didn’t want to be that bitch. She’d always worked so hard to end her former relationships on good terms, but after what he’d done she didn’t think he deserved to keep her in his life, so she’d cut him off and never looked back.

And now just when she thought she was ready to move on with someone new she was forced to be around him 24/7. A part of her thought this was the universe making some big cosmic joke at her expense, but the more rational part of her brain knew this was Love Island production playing up the ex-boyfriend angle for ratings. Oh how the fans would love to see their dynamics play out, the initial rampant speculations of how and why they’d broken up, their family and friends probably being invited to the first After Sun for interviews, then they could be playing the audience for a will-they-won’t-they for the rest of the season.

She was sorry to disappoint their expectations, but she’d rather be single and dumped than actually get into anything with him. She’d told herself, never again. And she wasn’t about to get back into that shitshow just for the sake of reality TV.

Which was why she was laying on factor 50 thick with how much flirting she was doing with pretty much anyone who wasn’t Suresh. She desperately wanted to be in another couple, any other couple, so whoever came asking her for a chat, she was game and the flirt was on. She’d had very promising talks with Alfie and Eddie and she’d even had a cheeky kiss with Finn on their date. The boys were all very nice, but truthfully her main motivation was that she wanted out of her current couple from hell. She felt like she wouldn’t be able to truly enjoy her Love Island experience until she was no longer attached to Suresh like this.

So it was that Luma was disappointed when Finn picked Kat for his recoupling. It was partially about the friendly rivalry with Kat and also genuine interest in what being coupled up with Finn could be like. But she’d been seeing this more as a means to an end, as it meant that for now she’d need to remain in a couple with her fucking ex-boyfriend until a new recoupling came up.

But it was fine. She could do this. It would just be a matter of days, and there was Alfie who was so funny, cute and single now and seemed really into her, and Eddie who was a sweetheart and like he always had her back whenever Suresh was being his annoying, cocky self. She could play the long game, chat with the boys and hedge her odds for the recoupling.

So why was she so pissed off now? Just because Dana had said she was into Suresh and how she wanted to crack on with him?

Get a grip, Luma. It’s not like you could care less about him.

And it seriously wasn’t about Suresh. Luma had been pieing him off every chance that she got and she would be seriously glad if he got occupied with another girl, as it’d mean she could get to know the other boys without feeling his eyes on the back of her head the entire time. It would mean he might not choose her in a boys’ choice recoupling and she’d be free from this god-awful situation she was currently stuck in. She’d almost cheered when Kat had volunteered to go chat with him after the challenge. Maybe the two of them would hit it off and want to couple up.

But Dana… Dana was her girl. Luma knew it was kind of ridiculous because they literally only knew each other for days, but she’d never felt a connection with anyone like this before, it was like they were on the same wavelength. They shared the same sense of humour and already had a ridiculous amount of inside jokes. She loved how fiercely protective of each other they’d been from the get-go, being there for each other as she told her about Suresh and they compared notes on their chats with the boys.

Even if she’d said it was fine, deep down Luma was a little mad that Dana had come out and said this now, considering that so far she’d been so openly opposed to Suresh and supportive of Luma’s decisions in shutting down his attempts at rekindling their relationship. And yet it was just what she’d expected when it came to Suresh. It was maddening, how much he could charm the pants off almost anyone. In just a couple of chats he’d managed to make one of his fiercest critics do a complete 180 on her opinion of him. It was less in detriment to Dana and more as a testament to just how fucking good his chat could be, and Luma would bet he hadn’t even done that on purpose, it was just the way he was naturally flirty and captivating around pretty girls.

And on top of that, she had to deal with the boys swinging their dicks around, riling each other up as everyone pretty much debated and weighed in on her situation, arguing if Suresh was sincere or not on the words he’d said about their relationship, completely missing the point that it didn’t matter. That had all been part of the past and she wasn’t here for a trip down memory lane. She was here to move on and live something new.

After everything that had happened, she would be glad to get some shuteye and put all the drama behind her, but this day just kept going on and on. She turned away from Suresh and his attempts at making bedtime small talk, his eyes and his whole expression trying to draw her in as he reminisced about their first kiss. But he still didn’t get it. All those memories, all those cherished moments were simply not a part of her life now. She didn’t hate thinking about them but she didn’t ache with longing for that time either.

Then Suresh was talking about leaving the Villa ─ and at this point, Luma couldn’t tell if he was being genuine or if he only said it to check what would be her reaction. If she had to guess, it was probably 50/50. But she wasn’t interested in playing these games with him anymore. If he wanted to leave, he should leave. If he wanted to stay, he could stay, as long as there were no expectations of getting into anything romantic with her and that he didn’t mind seeing her cracking on with someone else. She’d honestly love nothing more than seeing him move on, too. What she didn’t want was him acting like the jealous, possessive ex-boyfriend that he was since they’d started this whole thing.

“Dana?” Luma asked as she noticed her friend abruptly getting up from her bed and walking out of the long communal bedroom with hurried, not-so-quiet steps.

The other Islanders sat up in bed and started talking about what had just happened, but Luma barely heard their words as she also got up and went after her. But when she reached the other side of the door there was no sign of Dana. She heard a noise from upstairs, so she quickly mounted up the steps and reached the upper landing just in time to see her friend going into the Beach Hut.

Instead of going straight back to the bedroom, Luma paced around, going from the dressing room into the bathroom and back to the corridor past the stairs towards the door to the Beach Hut. Frankly, she’d rather delay going back to sharing a bed with Suresh and she still felt too worked up about the whole day now that she got back up.

She mindlessly paced the length of the upper floor, her feet taking her back and forth as her mind raced over everything that had happened that day. She tried to take deep breaths and calm down, but she still felt so irritated over it all. She felt concern over Dana and what could’ve upset her, while she was still annoyed at Suresh and this whole situation, and most of all she felt aggravated with herself. What for, she wasn’t exactly sure. Maybe just for having too many feelings at once.

By the time Dana finally emerged from the Beach Hut, Luma had worked herself up into a state, her fingers buried in her hair as she leaned forward with her forearms up against the railing next to the stairs.

“What are you doing up here?” Dana asked with raised eyebrows, seemingly genuinely surprised to see her there.

Luma let out a soft huff as she straightened up and turned to her. “Well, with the way you just stormed out of the bedroom I wanted to make sure you were alright,” she said, a certain edge laced in her words.

“Oh.” Dana stopped short and just looked back at her for a silent beat. “Yeah, I’m fine. I needed a moment and I thought, well no one is using the Beach Hut anyway. Are you okay? Looks like you might need some venting and ranting of your own.” She noted with a slight frown.

“Really? What gave it away?” Luma asked with a roll of her eyes.

“Girl, if you were a cartoon there would be smoke coming out of your ears,” Dana commented with a small chuckle then she made a gesture at the room behind her. “Feel like spilling your guts to a room full of production crew and a camera? I suppose it could count as some sort of therapy.”

“I already went through my confessions for the day,” Luma said, crossing her arms as she leaned her hip against the railing and looked away.

“You can always vent to me,” Dana offered with a shrug and a small smile. “I’m here for ya, bestie.”

“Yeah, sure.” The muttered response came out before she could really think about it.

“I’m serious,” Dana said, her eyebrows raised and surprise evident in her voice. “Wait, are you mad at me?”

Luma huffed softly once more. “No, I’m not mad at you, babe. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Kinda sounds like it.” Dana insisted as she frowned in concern, then she simply shrugged and walked past her, one hand wrapping around Luma’s arm and pulling her unceremoniously towards the dressing room. “C’mon.”

“Dana!” Luma exclaimed a little in surprise, but she let herself be dragged away.

“Something’s going on and we should just hash it out now.” Dana said lightly as they walked down the corridor. “I can’t keep things from you anyway and you know me, I don’t do subtle. So let’s have it then. Spill.”

They had reached the rooftop terrace and Dana closed the doors leading back inside into the dressing room to give them extra privacy in case any of the other Islanders went up to look for them. Luma kept silent as sat down on one of the seats near the corner, crossing her arms and looking at the floor as her friend took the seat perpendicular to her.

“I’m not mad at you. I’m just… annoyed, that’s all.” Luma rolled her eyes to herself, avoiding Dana’s gaze.

“Uh-oh. The Suresh thing?” Dana asked, her lips twisting a little in a frown.

“What else?” Luma admitted with a sigh. “It’s just too much sometimes, y’know.”

“Yeah, this place can be such a mindfuck.” Dana agreed with a sigh of her own as she leaned back on her seat and looked up at the sky for a moment before she looked at the other girl again. “Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to complicate anything.”

“It’s actually not your fault.” Luma said softly, her shoulders sagging a little as some of the tension left her body and she brought her eyes up to meet hers. “This is like the weirdest situation in the world. Hell, even if he wasn’t my ex, things would probably still be all sorts of weird, what with everyone snogging in the challenges as we try to get to know each other better and everything.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Dana said with a small chuckle. “That already sounds like such a hot mess then at the end of the day we need to get into bed with our partners and…” She trailed off as they just stared at each other, blue meeting green and holding the gaze for a few beats too long. “Not gonna lie, I hated seeing you next to him.”

“There’s nothing to worry about,” Luma said with a soft smile. “It’s purely logistics. There would be no night time cuddles or anything of the sort.”

“Yeah, you’ve been all but telling him to piss off.” Dana agreed with a smirk before her expression melted into another concerned frown. “But it’s got me thinking, being that close to him again has got to bring old feelings back. And a part of me can’t help but think that you wouldn’t despise him so much right now if you hadn’t really loved him.”

“Oh god, hun. I did really love him, but that doesn’t change what I feel now.” Luma said with an exasperated roll of her eyes. “I wish people would start listening and believing me when I say, I don’t care if he wants to get me back. I don’t want to get back together with him and I’m not gonna fall for any of his tricks or tactics or whatever.”

“I know, and I don’t mean to doubt what you say, it’s just…” Dana said softly, a small frown forming in the space between her eyebrows, her blue eyes looking so uncharacteristically vulnerable in that moment. “It sounds like you had a really good thing there for a moment. The way he talked about you and his family…”

“Yeah, it was good.” Luma said with a simple shrug. “And then it wasn’t. And then it wasn’t anything at all. Those two things can be true, y’know? We had a good thing going, for the most part, but then it ended and I’ve moved on. Sometimes relationships happen and end, then new things come along.”

“I guess you’re right.” Dana said with a small smile. “I’ve certainly had that happen to me.”

“Then you know it.” Luma nodded back at her before she couldn’t help but roll her eyes a little. “Ugh, I just wish I’d actually get on with being on Love Island already, instead of My Fucking Ex-Boyfriend Island.”

“That sounds like such a shit show.” Dana quipped right away, her lips curving up into a smile. “If it was Fucking My Ex-Boyfriend Island it sounds way more interesting, but it’d probably be the type of entertainment that can’t air on open TV.”

Dana let out a soft giggle at that and after a moment Luma couldn’t help but join her. The joke wasn’t even that funny, but maybe it was the tension of the whole day (the last few days, really) that had built up and it was suddenly released as their giggles turned to laughter and before they realised what was happening they were clutching at their sides, breathless gasps coming in past their lips as actual tears escaped and they laughed so hard that they needed to press their hands to their mouths to stop the sound from travelling all over the place.

After a few moments, they recovered their breaths and smiled warmly at each other. It was like all the irritation Luma had felt before had melted away with the laughter and all that was left was the fondness she still felt for Dana. That had been a constant since the very first minute, it’d never gone away, even in her exasperation.

“Look, hun.” She said still with that smile, reaching out with a hand, delicately taking hold of one of hers. “I get that he’s intimidating the boys a little and making my life so much harder than it needs to be, but I don’t wanna stop you from getting to know him if that’s what you really want.”

“What?” Dana blinked in confusion as she frowned at her.

“I mean it.” Luma said with a simple shrug. “Who knows? Maybe this is the start of your story with Suresh.”

“But I don’t…” Dana trailed off, still frowning and shaking her head a little. “Luma, he’s not the one I was upset about.” She said, giving the other girl a pointed look.

“But you─” Luma abruptly stopped herself, shaking her head as well. “You said you wanted to get to know him, that there were flirty vibes and then when you two kissed in the challenge today, I thought─”

“I know, it’s confusing for me too. I feel like this place is doing my head in.” Dana said with a deep sigh before giving her a smile. “I’ve been trying to find a connection with one of the boys because I feel like that’s what I should be doing. But to be honest none of them even come close to the way I already feel about you.”

As Luma heard those words spoken as if they were the most obvious thing in the world something suddenly clicked in her brain, because she recognised in her words the very same situation she was going through. All their playful flirting, the connection that she’d felt with Dana from the moment they met, how bothered she got at the thought of her bestie and her ex getting to know each other romantically and possibly coupling up. How nothing else that had happened so far had affected her like this, how none of the developments with the boys caused her heart to beat as strongly or as fast as it did right then.

Of course. It’d never been about Suresh. It's always been about Dana.

And now she had no idea why she’d been fixated on the idea that Dana had been upset because she was interested in Suresh. Maybe it was because it was such a shock when she first heard about it that it had driven everything else out of her head and it was the main thing that had been plaguing her thoughts ever since their conversation earlier that day.

“The boys are all nice and everything.” Dana continued, still with a tentative, hopeful smile on her lips. “But I have to say, I can’t stop thinking about our kiss in the challenge.”

Luma could feel the smile forming on her lips without conscious thought as her eyes roamed over her face, taking in her features as if she were creating a roadmap in her mind until she felt like she was drowning in the blue of her eyes. As they leaned closer, she let go of the hand still held in her grasp as she brought her fingers up to cup her face before their lips met in an exquisitely delicate kiss that caused her eyes to flutter closed.

She felt herself inhale sharply through her nose at the spark that started from her tingling lips and that only increased when Dana brought her own hands up, one wrapping around her shoulder and the other threading gently through her hair. They’d kissed before during the challenge, but this time it felt different. Maybe it was because there were no prying eyes watching their every move, it was just the two of them and Luma could no longer ignore the longing humming through her body as she opened her mouth and got a taste of Dana, her heart hammering in her chest as if it were ready to burst out any second now.

Goosebumps trailed down her arms and a shiver ran down her spine when Dana ran her fingertips lightly on a spot just under the back of her neck. It was as if all of sudden nothing else mattered but all the feelings and sensations that Dana was capable of igniting in her. Their kisses grew heated, their touches were electric and there was almost a desperation fueling their movements.

Before she could completely lose herself in the moment, Luma gently bit on her lower lip then gave her a series of soft pecks and leaned her forehead against Dana’s as she sighed. “Wow that was─”

“Yeah.” Dana agreed with an exhale.

They just sat together and breathed each other in for a moment, arms wrapped around each other as they now occupied the same seat ─ Luma had no actual memory of moving over so that Dana could sit next to her, but she couldn’t imagine moving away for now. After a few moments, she leaned back and opened her eyes, meeting Dana’s sparkling gaze, the sight of her slightly swollen lips doing something to her insides, as if butterflies were suddenly taking flight in the pit of her stomach.

“So…” Luma said, a slow smile forming on her lips as she trailed off teasingly. “What do you say we ditch those boys and take one of those daybeds for ourselves?”

Dana’s answering bright smile was possibly the best thing she’d laid eyes on since coming over to the Villa.

[nehswritesstuffs]

fly little seagull, that rock can be home - Part 1

I’m back! With another Trafalgar Nauja fic! [*confetti*] I was working on this alongside fly little seagull, you’re too far from the nest, because I’m apparently a sadist, but I knew I couldn’t let 13k words go to waste, and now it’s over 30k words and counting after being distracted by a bunch of other things, and although I didn’t set out to make this series a choose-your-own-adventure with Law and this OC child, that’s what it’s turned into and I wish I could say I’m sorry but I’m not in the slightest.

8568 words to start; deviates from the main story in the second section of the third chapter (so, like, 17.5k words in) and then this storyline effectively replaces the rest of the main fic in this continuum; tldr: Law is morphing into a little kid’s Cora-san and is about to say what he thinks is his final goodbye to her pre-Dressrosa; much slower in pace than the other variations of this fic, but also will be much steamier and domestic; there are so many fcking OCs in this that it’s almost just Law in OC Land for a long while and I am not sorry; shout out to all in the Rare Pears server for putting up with me and my nonsense they are true fandom heroes lol, as is Rimetin for being this fic’s first victim

fly little seagull, that rock can be home; Law is about to leave the Polar Tang as he heads to certain Death on Dressrosa. Then he goes to say goodbye to one specific person, only for half a lifetime’s worth of motivation to vanish in an instant. [AU where Law acquires a kid and realize the true gift Cora-san wanted for him]

The girl’s words piqued his interest. “You want to do medical illustrations?”

“Yeah! Well, I still want to be a doctor, like you, but I also want to be able to do drawings! I’m not very good at those yet, but I’m gonna practice real hard!” She pulled another drawing from her desk and showed him; it was a copy of an illustration of a hand’s skeletal structure from one of his textbooks. “See? I’m not good at that yet, but I’m still learning, right?”

“You are,” he agreed, chest filling with pride. “This is wonderful, Nauja-ya. You are very talented.” He watched as she put them away and sat next to him.

“What did you want to talk about?” she wondered. “Are we going to an island where I have to behave extra? I don’t like those islands.”

“No, actually…” He swallowed hard. “I’m…” He saw her face and all the happiness and joy it contained, melting away his prior conviction. How could he chose dying at the hands of Doflamingo over raising this child? Was getting revenge for Cora-san worth throwing away the gifts the man had given him in the first place? Maybe what he owed that foul-mouthed, accident-prone, absolute flaming mess of a spy—who was honestly the best spy he had ever seen—was to live and love. That that would be the best revenge levied on a man who never understood either. He still didn’t wholly understand why he did it after all these years, but maybe… just maybe… taking care of this kid would give him the answers… could help him with his guilt… might finally give him some peace.

If nowhere was safe from Donquixote Doflamingo, then he was simply going to have to run until they found nowhere.

“You and I are going to have to take a special trip soon, away from the Tang,” he said. “Be prepared to pack in the morning, alright? It’s going to be an adventure.”

Nauja’s eyes lit up. An adventure?! With just her and Law-san?! This was going to be the best!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

They didn’t often get new visitors in Hinba, which was one of the first things that the barman noticed about the pair. It had been a rainy evening when they arrived—not storming, just the steady, reliable autumn rain that could lull a person to sleep. It seemed fairly normal a night until they walked in: a tallish man with a piercing glare, both a pack and a sword slung across his back, and a small child hiding under his feathered cloak. They both appeared to be worn from travel, though the man more so. He let the child find a table near the back and he went up to the bar, the proprietor now able to see the dark circles under his eyes and the glint of two rings on a chain hiding in the unbuttoned folds of his shirt.

“Food and drink, please,” the man said, “and a room if you have one.” His accent was something near-completely foreign to the barman, making him stop for a moment. The stranger caught his hesitation and spoke slower. “You do serve food here, yes?”

“We do; just don’t normally get strangers, is all,” the barman shrugged. “We’re a bit out of the way for most, and even the trade routes aren’t always consistent.”

“Is there a doctor around?”

“You in need of one?”

“No, but I am one, and I’ve been looking for a place to set up shop where I can fill a void. A good physician upholding their oath means that everyone gets care.”

“I see.” The barman put a glass of beer and a bottle of pop on the counter. “Any requests for that food?”

“No allergies, but I’m not fond of bread or pickled things.”

“…and is the kid picky?”

“No; my daughter is less picky than I am if you’ll believe it.” The man took the drinks, tattoos spelling DEATH across his knuckles flashing in the low lamplight. “Do you have a room? I’d like to not sleep on our ship tonight.”

“Yeah, I can get you a real bed, but you’ll have to share. It’ll be ready by the time you’re done eating.”

The stranger nodded in silent thanks and took the drinks over to the corner where the child had already set up with what looked like a book and drawing set. It was curious, but then again, things did rarely happen on their island.

“What do you think is up with him?” one of the regulars wondered. The barman watched as the stranger put the drinks down and settled into a chair with his back to the wall.

“None of our business,” he shrugged. He watched the strange man for a moment, taking note of his interactions with the child. She was completely at-ease and he seemed tired by simply looking at her—yes, that was a father and his daughter. “Maybe we’ll find out eventually.”

“What, do you think they’ll stay?”

“Nearest doctor’s been a three-day sail for a long time now; there’s a chance.”

“With that bedside manner? No fucking thanks.”

“Eh, that’s not our decision to make.” The barman then put down the glass that he had been cleaning and went into the kitchen, getting two plates of food. He brought them out to the strangers, chuckling as he saw the girl’s eyes light up happily. “Hungry, kid?”

“Yeah!” She put aside what she was working on and bounced up and down in her seat. Huh… she was drawing what looked like a medical diagram… “Thanks for the food, Barman-ya!”

“Eat up, buttercup,” the barman said. Huh. Her accent wasn’t like her father’s, though it was clearly influenced by it. “So… where you strangers from?”

“Here and there,” the man replied. “We used to live on the Grand Line, but we needed a change of scenery.”

“The Grand Line…? Must have been an adventure getting to these southern waters…”

“It was.” The man took a careful bite of his food and tried to ignore the barman. When he realized the conversation wasn’t entirely over, he glanced up. “Yes…?”

“Just… nothing. You must have a familiar face.”

“He looks like a pirate!” the kid sad cheerily around her food.

“Famke…” the man warned with a gentle sternness.

“Well, you do…!” she insisted before turning towards the barman. “Vaor’s not that guy, but lots of people think he’s that guy, because the person who takes the bounty photos is bad at it. He tried complaining but it’s no good.”

“Is that so?” the barman chuckled. He could see the man’s face get dark with blush—it was obviously a sore point. “Well, don’t worry, kiddo; even if your da here was some big-shot, we don’t give a shite about that.”

“You don’t…?”

“Last time I checked, the World Government doesn’t give a damn about us, so the least we can do is make it mutual,” the barman explained. It was faint, but he could see the kid’s father relax a little in the shoulders. Ah—so he was concerned about that; no wonder. “You could round up more than a couple bounties here on Diura… just saying.”

“Then I’m sure you are more than underserved from a medical standpoint if you take such an attitude towards piracy,” the stranger said. He then nudged his daughter’s shoulder with the back of his hand to get her attention. “Chew with your mouth closed.” He sounded as though it was something he’d already said well over a thousand times in her life and would likely say a thousand more.

“…but Vaor…!”

The barman didn’t stick around to hear the end of the argument; their first new visitors in a long time needed a place to sleep.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Later on, upstairs in their rented room, Law and Nauja were getting ready for bed. They were separated by a changing screen as the girl pulled on her pajamas, her father already in a fresh pair of shorts as he sorted through the contents of his pack.

“Is this the place we’re gonna stay?” she wondered from behind the screen.

“It might be,” he replied. She came out with her day clothes neatly folded and placed them on a chair before climbing atop the bed. “We don’t have too much left if we want to have the money to start a clinic when we do settle.”

“What are you looking for?”

“The Den Den.” He then found the transponder snail’s shell—it was sleeping—and placed it in a tray on the nightstand with some lettuce. “Can’t ignore that for too long.”

“…or we can’t call my uncles!”

“Correct.” He waited until Nauja was under the bedding before he handed her Professor Nanuk so he could replace everything else in the pack. “Go to sleep now, famke.”

“Vaor…?”

“Hmm…?”

“How did you meet Moetje?”

He looked at her as she rested herself against her pillow, hugging her stuffed toy tightly. It was a practical move, he knew that much, but it was still disarming. If there was anyone listening in on them—and he would have been surprised if no one was—they could mistake his hesitation for a widow’s melancholy, especially if they stayed and the rest of their story ended up sticking.

“We were in classes together,” he replied gently, deciding on a story. “It’s easy to not pay attention to who else is in the room when you’re in med school because you’re trying to concentrate on not failing, but partway through our first term I finally looked behind me and there she was…” He put their pack on the table and went into the bed, glad for how warm Nauja was against the chill of the rain. Reaching back into his memory, he tried to remember the name of a classmate… someone he barely recalled, but knew needed a memorial… because all of Flevance did. “Antje was a year older than me, and my fifteen-year-old heart couldn’t take how pretty she was.”

“Yeah… Moetje was pretty, wasn’t she?”

“She really was.” Fuck… he didn’t even know if he liked women, let alone anyone at all. That was something he might figure out now that he was a civilian… he just needed to find where they were going to settle first. “Go to sleep, alright? We have a lot to do tomorrow.”

“Mmmhmm…” She burrowed in close and quickly drifted off, her hand unconsciously reaching for the rings still on the chain on his neck. “I love you, Law-san.”

“I love you too, Nauja-ya,” he whispered back. He opened a Room long enough to turn off the lights and tried to go to sleep himself, though he knew it would be light and fitful as it had been since they left the Tang.

What the fuck had he gotten himself into?

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

“I’ve made an important decision,” he told the late-night collection of his crew. “I cede captainship of the Heart Pirates and am going to live a civilian life.”

The entire mess hall was so quiet one could almost hear everyone breathing.

“Wait… what?!” Penguin abruptly stood, absolutely flabbergasted. “What the fuck?!”

“What got into your head?” Shachi asked. He stared down the younger man, trying to get a read on his face. “This was not part of the plan.”

“What plan?” Jean Bart asked.

“Yeah, what plan?”

“What’s going on?”

“What aren’t you telling us?”

“Quiet,” Law insisted, the room going silent again. “I was supposed to leave tonight to enact a plan to take out Donquixote Doflamingo and his criminal operation at its roots. Penguin, Shachi, and Bepo were supposed to be in charge while I did that anyhow. Everyone was supposed to hide in the Mokomo Dukedom until after it was safe…” He swallowed. “…well after I died at his hands.”

“Why fuck with Doflamingo?” Clione wondered. “Man’s a psychopath, sure, and what do we care that he’s an underworld broker? We just know what to avoid.”

“Doflamingo killed someone important to me once,” Law explained frankly, “and the past thirteen years of my life have been about me figuring out how to get revenge. I was saying my goodbyes to Nauja and…” he sighed, choking up, “…I can’t do it. I spent half my life meticulously planning how I was going to go out in a blaze of glory as I possibly killed one man… and I realized that, as I looked at Nauja, I didn’t know what I was going to do if I survived… that I didn’t know if I could ever forgive myself for choosing death over raising her.” He felt hot tears stream down his cheeks as he licked his lips and avoided looking at anyone else in the crew. This was more information than he ever wanted to share, but knew that if anyone deserved it, it was them. “That person… he’d want me to live… to raise a child while growing older than my father ever got the chance to be… because that’s what he wanted to do with me when I was a kid…”

“…but Doflamingo denied you both that,” Jean Bart said, his voice grave and even. “Nauja is a chance to have that life and honor the one who saved you. A gentle revenge.”

“Can’t we just help you take him down?!” someone asked. Law shook his head.

“To go up against Doflamingo is choosing dying at his hands rather than raising her; I’d never forgive myself, more so if any of you were involved.”

“…but what if we wanted to help raise her too?”

“Please, just… let me be selfish. I just realized that I have a chance to truly be free of all this and… I can never repay you all for what you’ve done, so please…”

Law was cut off by the scraping of a chair against the floor. Everyone looked and saw that Bepo was now standing, tears in the Mink’s eyes.

“You’re going to have to tell us all about how the two of you are doing on a regular basis,” he insisted. “If we can’t be there, then we at least deserve that much.”

“Bepo, I…”

“I’m going to miss you,” the navigator cried. He lumbered up to his captain—no, his best friend—and tackled him in a shaky hug. “What would I have done without you?”

“Electrocute the goobers before you entered your teens?”

“You know what the bear means,” Penguin interjected. He and Shachi looked at one another, then Law. “Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

Law nodded, croaking out a tiny “Yeah.”

“Dreams change all the fucking time,” Shachi shrugged. “Sometimes all it takes is chasing one to realize you were after something else all along. Right?”

The thing was that he didn’t realize how right his words were.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Morning came, bringing sunshine with it. Law and Nauja soon found themselves in the village leader’s office, the greying woman in early middle-age staring them both down. Here was this strange, tattooed man explaining that he was a surgeon who wished to set up a practice, with a young girl at his side almost too old to be the daughter he claimed she was if he was not already lying about his own age.

“You are both strangers,” she reiterated, “and have yet been in town for an entire day. How am I to trust you with my people’s medical needs, of all things, under such circumstances? We’ve dealt with only a midwife on the island for well over fifteen years, so why stop now?”

“All I want is to give my daughter a stable life away from bad memories,” Law said. The village leader—Torilsbur Dervla according to the nameplate on the desk—did not seem like someone who could be easily convinced, which made him glad they prepared in advance. “You don’t have a doctor on the island and I can fill that void.”

“You already said you are a surgeon. I am not so ill-informed that I don’t know the difference.”

“My training and real-world experience meant I functioned as a hybrid family practitioner and surgeon—I am more than qualified to run a small hospital, let alone a rural clinic.”

“Of course.” She stared at his hands and frowned. “By what organization?”

“I began my formal training in what was Drum Kingdom, though I finished in Water 7. Plenty of fieldwork supplemented what I couldn’t learn in the classroom.”

“Couldn’t handle the strain?”

“No… the king had a poor idea of what public health should be and banished nearly all the medical practitioners—doctors, surgeons, nurses, researchers, you name it. The prestige might have returned when it became Sakura Kingdom, but my wife and I always wanted to help real people, not be locked away in a research tower.”

“…and she is…?”

“Moetje died,” Nauja said frankly. “That’s why we can’t stay in Water 7 anymore. Vaor called this a ‘fresh start’.”

“Then there is the question of you, Lawsdottir Nauja,” Dervla mused. “I know you must look like your mother, but I still have to note how the resemblance between you and your father is minimal.”

“Ma’am…? Why did you call me that…?”

“Lawsdottir? We don’t use family names here since not everyone is born with one, so that is how we trace our lineage, using son and dottir and bur. You are his daughter, thus Lawsdottir.”

“So I am Lawsdottir, and Vaor is Corasson?”

“If one of your grandparents was named Cora, then yes.”

Law watched Nauja consider this before nodding. “I… I don’t know if I could do it now, but could I go by Antjesdottir? Maybe later?”

“That would be up to you and your father,” Dervla said. Law saw her expression soften slightly before she turned back to him. “You really want to stay here?”

“With your permission—we won’t stay where we’re not wanted.”

“It’s true that a good doctor’s a long way off from here, and a good surgeon even further. I can show you where you can set up your practice, but understand that we do not accept strangers into our folds easily. You could live here until she is grown and you would still be the Lvneelish surgeon and his daughter, here for seas-knows-why.”

“You try leaving home as I did and attempt going back, with a child at that. No… I’d like for this to be our home. We would do well here.”

“I’m warning you now: although we are not poor, what we do have is of little interest to most. Aside from fishermen, there’s mostly sheep and potato and goat farmers around these parts, and while some of us won’t pay in beri, others won’t pay at all.”

“A doctor finds a way,” Law stated. Dervla nodded at him, now fully convinced.

“Come with me then, Doctor Corasson Law, Miss Lawsdottir Nauja, and I can bring you to where the last doctor used to live. If we’re lucky, you might still be able to make use of some of her things.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

With the night sky above them shining brightly, the little dinghy’s occupants sat quietly as the currents and wind gently guided the craft further into the South Blue. Nauja held Professor Nanuk in her arms as she stared up at the sky, taken in by the swirls and glittering specks above them.

“It’s so pretty,” she marveled. “Why don’t we ever see the sky like this when the Polar Tang is above water? There’s so many…”

“Whenever we use lights at night, it disrupts our ability to see the stars,” Law explained. He looked at her as she stared wide-eyed at the sky. “You like it?”

“I love it, Law-san!” she gasped. “I wonder if anyone else in the crew has seen the sky like this! I’ll have to ask when we get back!” When she turned her attention towards him, however, she tilted her head in confusion. “Why are you sad?”

“Nauja… we’re not going back to the Tang.” He saw her hug her toy a bit tighter in the starlight. “We’re going to find a place to stay, and then live there.”

“Wait… you mean… forever…?”

“For as long as we need to; if that’s forever, then it’s forever. Most likely we’ll need to move after a few years, but I won’t try to make it often.”

“Why…?”

“…because it’s too dangerous to keep constantly traveling, especially in a big group. The whole crew wants you to grow up in a good place, and I realized recently that place is probably not a pirate ship in the New World.” She stared at him, silent, and he tried not to panic. “Listen, I know I’m…” Fuck, this was awkward. “I know I’m not your real dad, but while we’re doing this, we should probably at least pretend like I am so no nosy aunties try anything.”

“Law-san… you are my real dad,” Nauja replied. There was an uncomfortable silence between them, the only sounds being the waves against the sides of the ship. “My first dad… he wasn’t like you. He wasn’t mean, but…” She avoided eye contact, instead seeming very interested in what was going on behind Professor Nanuk’s ear. “What did you call your dad? In Flevench?”

“Vaor, Vader, Papa…”

“My dad wasn’t mean, but he also didn’t really like me,” Nauja said, her head bobbing in a nod. “My vaor loves me, because he teaches me, and tells me I’m good and smart, and does things to protect me that my dad would have never done. You gave up the crew for me… and I don’t know why, other than that you’re my vaor… and he would have never done that.”

“Come here,” he requested, holding open his arms. The little girl stepped forward and allowed herself to be enveloped in his grasp, both glad that the hug was so warm against the cool night air. “You know, Cora-jiisan… I didn’t understand why he cared about me either. I thought that maybe it was pity for my situation, or out of fear of my name, but I look at you and I know… I know why he lov… why he cared for me so unconditionally, why he died to keep me alive and free.”

“…why…?”

“…because I think… that when he looked at me… he saw hope.” He leaned his head back until it tapped against the mast and he was looking up at the foreign night sky, so different than the stars he and Cora-san navigated by. “He saw hope that the bad man who eventually killed him wouldn’t win… that there could still be good that came from all the terrible things we had seen and done. Cora-jiisan needed me just as much as I needed him.”

“Does that mean that you need me as much as I need you?”

“In our way, yes,” he assured. He looked down at her and saw that she was happy and content. A frown then formed on her face, which he echoed. “What is it?”

“Who was the bad man who killed Cora-jiisan?”

“His name is Donquixote Doflamingo, and he was supposed to be his brother.” They weren’t pirates anymore, yet it was still important she knew what not to trust. “He is a very mean, cruel man who is sick in the head and will do anything to get revenge for Cora-jiisan and me running away if he finds us… if he finds out that you exist. Even if we stuck to being on the Tang, you’d be in danger should he find you and realize that you’re my famke… that I’m your vaor…”

“Oh!” she gasped. “I know this is a different subject, but does this mean I’m a Trafalgar now?”

“I guess it does.” He smiled wanly at that, seeing that his daughter was smiling at him in the starlight. It made the night sky seem that much brighter. “Get to sleep, famke. We should be able to reach the next port tomorrow morning. We’ll talk more then, alright?”

“Yes!” She settled into his lap with Professor Nanuk firmly in her grasp, keeping both close as she closed her eyes and let sleep take her.

Vaor and famke.

They were father and daughter.

Neither of them couldn’t ask for anything better.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

It was a modest house on the edge of the village, with living upstairs and in the back; the front sitting room was a waiting area and other rooms set up as an office, a consultation room, a small infirmary, and combination larger-infirmary-and-operating theater. It was a bit bigger than most of the other houses, though with the amount of space in it dedicated to doctoring and medicine, it was almost like some apartments had been stuck onto a proper clinic. Nauja was nearly vibrating with excitement as they were being shown about, while Law was looking around at everything with concern.

“This is wonderful,” he acknowledged, “but I feel like there’s a catch.”

“No catch,” Dervla said. “Just do what you said you came here to do and it’s yours.”

“I have money,” he replied icily. “This just seems like a lot to just give away.”

“Vaor, some of these expired before I was born!” Nauja gasped, pointing at a glass-doored medicine cabinet.

“Don’t touch anything until I’ve had the chance to inspect it,” Law warned. He then turned back to the village leader. “Well, am I right?”

“Like I said: just do the job you say you’re here to do and there won’t be any problem,” Dervla repeated. She pat Law on the back of his shoulder and gave him a nod. “You know where to find someone if you have a question.”

“I do, but…”

“I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it.” She then left the newcomers alone in the smaller infirmary, with Law able to hear her shut the front door on her way out.

“I don’t know…” he mused. He picked up a medical journal from a bookshelf and cracked it open—it was nearly twenty years old and filled with hand-written notations and commentary in the varying articles’ margins. “Something about this doesn’t feel right.”

“Vaor, we have a house, a place for medicine, there’s a school in town… it’s actually really neat here.”

“It’s still really suspicious when someone goes from not wanting you around at all to giving you a house specialized for your profession within an hour,” he replied. He kept flipping through the articles, a sense of familiarity washing over him. “You know… Oma used to do this.”

“Do what?” Nauja asked. She placed Professor Nanuk on the counter and bounced over towards Law, who sat on his haunches to show her the journal.

“Write in the margins like this,” he said, dragging his fingers over the ink scribbles. They were not far removed from the copperplate handwriting of his parents’ generation, the most prominent difference being the shakiness of the hand despite still being legible. “Opa did too, but not nearly as much as Oma did—it kind of annoyed him.”

“That’s silly,” she giggled. She then watched as he turned a page and almost instantly grew pale. “Vaor…? What’s wrong…?”

One look at the journal and she knew what it was: the next article was coauthored by her grandparents. Law sat directly on the dusty floor and tried his best to not cry.

“I… I remember when this was published,” he said shakily. “La—your Tante Lami was a toddler, and I had to watch her at night while they wrote.”

“I thought you said everything from… erm… home is gone,” Nauja said quietly. Law let out a laugh in disbelief, tears flowing freely down his face.

“The old doctor died before Flevance did; even if she had anything from there, unless someone bothered to come in here and take it…” He couldn’t continue, instead palming his eyes as he broke into a heaving sob. Nauja tackled him in a hug and he held her close, not wanting to let go.

There was still proof that Flevance had once lived, that his parents had lived, and that there was a legacy to pass down as he lived…

…wait a minute.

Shakily, Law disengaged Nauja and handed her the journal so that he could stand up. Tears still in his eyes, he looked at the other volumes on the shelf, running a pointer finger over their spines. Sure enough, there was plenty of medical journals and textbooks from Flevance. The collection was from a broad pool of sources—all the Cardinal Blues and the Grand Line were represented—if there had been someone on the island that was affiliated with the World Government, the entire shelf would have already been burned. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and ducked out of the room, heading into the office. His suspicions were confirmed and his jaw dropped laxly: whole bookshelves of medical publications going back decades… and many of them from the White City itself.

“Vaor…?” He glanced over and saw Nauja standing awkwardly in the doorway. “What is it?”

“I… erm…” He rubbed the back of his neck and waited until she stepped into the office properly. “It’s old, but there’s medical knowledge here that the Marines would kill this whole island over.”

“Really…?” She scrunched her nose and peered at the closest shelf. “This isn’t even from Flevance.”

“A lot of it is, or I’m sure is influenced by Flevance,” he replied, “and this one…? This is from an island that also doesn’t exist anymore. Rumor says it was destroyed for its thirst for history and knowledge.”

“Yeah…?”

“Yeah.” He licked his lips as he selected another book and flipped through it. “It makes sense if the previous doctor was well-learned that she would have had this sort of personal library, but it also tells me something else.”

“What’s that?”

“No one here is going to turn us in, even if they compare me to my bounty poster. We can stay here… for as long as it takes.”

“Really…?”

“Yeah.” He put the book down and knelt down on one knee to be at eye level with her, gently placing his hands on her shoulders. “This is our home now.”

“…but… how will I get strong and good at stuff if we stay put? What if I can’t?”

“Don’t you worry about that.” He brought his hands up to her face, holding her as though she might break. “You’re going to grow up to be an amazing person, Trafalgar D. Water Nauja… I’m going to make sure of it.”

She hugged him and, before they knew it, they were both crying.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

One of the things that was extremely evident when it came to living with Amber Lead Syndrome was that there were good days and bad days. What observers often referred to as bad days were usually the good ones, and when presented with a bad day, it was understandably cause for alarm.

It was a bad day as Law and Cora-san were huddled on some rock, glad for the break in weather that allowed them to camp on the seas-forsaken outcropping instead of attempting to find an island with an inn they hadn’t been run out of yet. The teen could barely move, causing his adult’s panic to skyrocket. He had fussed over the boy and made sure he ate before turning towards his alcohol supply, soaking his depressive thoughts though the afternoon sun had yet to dip low into the sky.

“One day, after we’ve figured this shit out, we’re going to get out of this Blue,” he said, fully drunk at that point. Law was barely able to turn his head and see Cora-san sitting next to him, staring off into the distance as he drank directly from the wine bottle. “There has to be a quiet place we can go.”

“The East and West are both hot,” the boy replied, his voice feeling like sandpaper against his throat.

“They’re quieter than here.”

“What about the South Blue? Do they have weather like the North?”

“Yeah, in some places, but,” he took another drink, “they have to contend with giant and fierce animals more than we do. The only places I can think of that doesn’t are too out of the way.”

“Cora-san… I’m not going to make it that long…”

“You can’t say that, Law!” he sniffled. “We’re going to get you a cure and then I’ll find us someplace nice to live! You can study medicine and open up a clinic and I’ll be there to help you!” He emptied the bottle and laid down—there was no mistaking that he was drunk. “My papa did not live to be very old. I think I’d like to get older than he did one day, raising a family peacefully amongst other people.”

“Then go and get married and acquire babies,” Law huffed. He tried to hide the fact he head tears in his eyes—it was something he knew he’d never see. Cora-san as a dad? Ridiculous.

“I have my family,” Cora-san replied. He placed a shaky hand on Law’s face and turned it towards him. They were both on the verge of crying, held together by barely a thread. “You are my family now, Law. Do you think I tell all those hospitals that you’re my son to be an asshole about it?”

“…no…?”

“Then it doesn’t matter if you end up being the eldest or the only.” He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against Law’s. “It doesn’t matter what anyone fucking says: you’re my son now and I love you.”

“…but…!”

“I don’t know how many you lost, and I can’t replace them, but I can still love you, because everyone needs that, don’t they?”

“…but… what did I do…?” He watched Cora-san’s eyes flutter shut and he frowned. “Cora-san…? What did I do that makes you love me? I’m just some shitty kid who tried to kill you.”

A snore was his only reply. Fuck… and with him unable to move too.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

As Law feared: there was a steep learning curve to dropping himself and his daughter into the middle of a rural community. Curious passers-by kept popping their heads in and seeing who it was that was occupying the old doctor’s house. Children used to being able to barge into the front room without reprimand were shocked to discover that there were suddenly people living there. Local customs and traditions were plentiful as the young father tried to figure out what was going on around them. The Port and Village of Hinba was the only major population center on the Island and Country of Diura, which was otherwise dotted with varying farms and pastures as advertised, and yet there seemed to be no end to the amount of people that were coming in and out to meet them.

“You sure are an interesting pair,” chuckled the elderly neighbor lady—Svana—as she helped Law clean the infirmary. It was a quiet day, after Dervla had threatened everyone else to leave him alone or get kicked off the island. Nauja was outside with some of the other children who lived nearby, making it just the two adults in the house.

“Now why would you say that, Svana-ya?” he posed. Law was placing fresh bottles of antiseptic in one cupboard while she was washing the inside of another.

“Last time we got a new doctor we had to send to Roshawan for one,” she noted. “People don’t normally come here thinking that they might be able to stay and make a living… especially not if they arrive with a young one in-tow.”

“Consider us unique,” he said. He knew full-well that she was likely considered the island’s best font of information on them aside from Nauja, except no one was truly aware of how much they had planned beforehand. “What was the doctor like who was here before?”

“Dr. Ghar-Spartel was a hardy woman, who traveled the seas before settling here,” Svana nodded, her expression turning far-off as she reminisced. “We all mourned her when she passed—I think it’s part of why we never found another in all this time.”

“I was told you don’t take easily to strangers, yet you mourned someone you sent for?”

“We did; it turned out she was in town when our call was received and her heart fit here so well that no one could imagine anything different. With any luck, you two will acclimate as easily as she did.” She left the cupboard open and went to wring out the cloth and wet it again with the cleaning solution. “I get the feeling she would have liked the both of you—had a soft spot for Northern blokes who’d wander in town.”

“Was she Northern…?”

“Never publicly claimed a lick, but she was acquainted with quite a few. Came with the territory considering how far she sailed; she spent many an evening telling me tales of Lvneel and other places.”

“Maybe you can tell us some of those stories one day,” he said. “Leaving home young has… disadvantages. I don’t have a lot of stories to pass on to my daughter about my home sea. Not about Lvneel, or Kuenta, or Whiteland, or Flevance, or Notice…”

“I’ve got plenty, especially of Lvneel and Flevance,” she replied. “They were cultural hubs, and I’m sure you’ve heard how Flevance was known for their medical knowledge before the Plague, so she spent plenty of time there.”

Law finished stocking the cupboard and closed it. “Weird how that works: a place that was the best-equipped to handle a situation being wiped out by it instead.”

“It sounds suspicious to me, but that’s age and how life is here for you,” she sighed. She saw the confused, embarrassed look on Law’s face and she chuckled. “We don’t care about what the Government says in these parts. We’re not affiliated with them—never have been—so there’s no love lost if you know my meaning.”

“I know perfectly well your meaning, Svana-ya,” Law nodded. His face was still warm—it looked like embarrassment, but deep down, he was just happy he could continue to get something from his hometown… and something as intangible as stories? He was beyond elated. Now the only problem was making sure his neighbor didn’t catch on about how much he already knew… how much she was able to piece together…

Just then, the kitchen door at the back of the house slammed open and the sound of more than one child came barreling in. Nauja came sliding into the infirmary in her stocking feet, with a small gaggle of children close behind.

“See?!” she said, pointing at Law. “That’s my vaor! He’s a doctor, isn’t he, Svana-ya?!”

“He’s no midwife, but he’ll do,” the older woman chuckled. The village children all stared at Law and the ink visible thanks to his tank top shirt. “It’s impolite to stare—you act like you’ve never seen sailors’ marks before.”

“Are you a pirate?!” one of the children gasped. Nauja froze, yet Law knew exactly what to do. He crouched down with a wicked grin and wiggled his fingers, coming at the children until they screamed and ran away.

“I’m the worst pirate of them all! The Surgeon of Death!” The children that were not his all scurried out, with his daughter staring at him in confusion. “What…? It’s not like I’m not already mistaken for him.”

“Vaor… don’t do that again. You looked weird.”

“Oh, now you’re too cool?”

“Vaor…” Nauja rolled her eyes and went to find the other children, leaving Law with an expression of deadpan irritation on his face. Svana laughed merrily at that.

“What betrayal!” she cackled. “…and to think people wonder why I never had children!”

“I don’t know; maybe because you’re the island’s midwife?”

“Delivering children is not the same as having and raising them, young man,” she retorted. She forced her giggles under control as the man young enough to be her grandson attempted to get back to cleaning. “She is a good child; you should be proud.”

“I am.”

“…and I’m sure her mother is proud of you both.” He paused loading the cupboard for a moment, clearly lost in thought, before putting the vial back down on the counter. “How long has it been just the two of you?”

“…not… erm… long,” he admitted. He kept staring at the countertop, hoping she’d drop the topic, yet her hand gently touched his back in an effort to console him. “Can we please not talk about this, Svana-ya?”

“Bottling it up won’t be good, lad,” she cautioned. “You still have a lot of life left to be weighed down by something so heavy as those bits of metal on your neck.”

“I’ve carried more for longer,” he said, knowing the risk of saying so. The thin chain that held his parents’ wedding bands—scavenged from the ruins of the hospital when he was a reckless teen—suddenly felt very conspicuous, even though their presence was supposed to be part of the lie. “This is for my daughter—I don’t care what it does to me as long as she can grow up strong and free from everything.”

“She won’t if she loses both her parents this young.” The old woman rubbed his back and, for a moment, Law felt his stomach churn. He wasn’t used to genuine concern out of strangers and it made him feel guilty… guilty for everything. Flevance, Lami, Cora-san, the crew… everyone. Shit… did his classmate even like him back then? Had she tolerated him at the very least? He couldn’t remember…

“Being there for Nauja was part of why we moved from the Grand Line,” he stated. “I couldn’t stay there and raise her at the same time… it wasn’t right. It’s… cowardly to come here, but that doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Corasson Law: it’s the bravest thing you could have done for her.”

Seas… he really hoped she was right.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The sense of déjà vu that Law was experiencing did not settle well with him, as it made him think of a time when he was the child, diminutive due to stunted growth and comparative height to his adult. He held Nauja close as he opened a large Room, the two of them surrounded by citizens of the small town they were in. Well, on the outskirts of, but that was besides the point.

“You don’t scare us,” a shop owner said. He had been a Marine for twenty years before retiring, the seagull tattoo still prominent on his upper arm. “A member of the Worst Generation would fetch a large price… especially one who tries to go into hiding while his cohorts make trouble elsewhere. What are you after, Rogue Shichibukai?!”

“I’m not here for trouble if that’s what you’re concerned about,” Law announced for about the sixteenth time.

“Then where’d you get the kid?”

“None of your business.”

“I’m making it my business, boy.”

Law sighed and twitched his fingers, the mob of citizens being replaced with their children and pets. The startled kids all looked at him and Nauja without really knowing what to say, let alone knowing what happened.

“You’re the man that Dad wanted us to stay away from,” a little boy realized. Law breathed a sigh of relief and put Nauja down; they had about five minutes before they needed to start running again.

“Perceptive,” he replied. “Do you always listen to your dad?”

“Yes…?”

“I doubt that, but close enough.” He stroked Nauja’s hair as she huddled against his leg, holding onto his trousers as she tried to hide from the other children in the safety of his coat. “What’s the matter? You were fine a little while ago…”

“That was before they tried to take me and run you out of town,” she mumbled.

“But he’s a bad man!” a girl declared.

“Maybe your dad’s the bad one!” Nauja shot back. “Mine just wants to take care of me! Why does that make him bad?!”

“Nauja…” Movement caught Law’s eye and he grimaced—the adults were back sooner than he expected. “Time to go.” He picked her up and waited just long enough for her to flip her middle fingers at the other children before he triggered a series of swaps that landed them in their boat, then switching the entire boat with a whale that was breaching just offshore so it could damage the wharf. He finally let out the breath he had been holding and put his daughter down, only for her to slump onto the deck in irritation.

“They hate us,” she grumbled. “Vaor… why do they hate us…?”

“…because they don’t know any better, and hating people who are different than them has worked for their survival in the past.” He made sure the wind was catching the sail correctly before pulling a map out of his coat pocket. “That’s another one down.”

“This stinks,” she said. “I feel like we’ve been searching forever.”

“Not forever, but definitely a long time,” he admitted. Law crossed off the island they had just been on and took a look at where they could go next. They were running out of options around the entrance to the Grand Line, meaning the further they went into the South Blue, the more dangerous it was likely to become. He sat down as he studied the map, propping his feet up on Nauja’s legs in order to rile her up. It worked and she wriggled out from under him in order to crawl over to his side and nestle in the crook of his arm.

“How long were you and Cora-jiisan running?” she wondered.

“Almost half a year—it’s only been a couple months for us,” he reminded her. He traced the line of a water current and nodded. “I think if we keep low and only stop for supplies, we might be able to get to this island in about two weeks or so.”

“…Diura…?” She peered at the paper and frowned. “Why there?”

“It’s far enough from Reverse Mountain that we’re out of the way of other pirates,” he reasoned. “Fewer pirates mean fewer people who would recognize me even if I don’t use my Devil Fruit. It even looks like it might be out of the way for people around there too.”

“How?”

“The currents are all wrong.” He took her hand and gently traced the current paths on the map with her finger. “This is a major water current that goes through that area of the South Blue, and this is the major wind current. Neither of them go near there, which means that it’s minor sailing traffic only.”

“…so… it would be no problem for the Tang, but it would for a normal ship?”

“Not a problem, just more difficult.” Shit, he wished Bepo and Penguin were there to explain it better, maybe even Hakugan, since he was admittedly less comfortable with specifics. He kissed the side of her head and squeezed her gently. “We’ll find someplace. I promise.”

“Why here?” she asked. “Why not the North Blue?”

“Too many people remember my face or my accent or both,” he admitted. “Besides, the Marines would be looking for me in my Home Blue if I simply vanished off their Grand Line radar.”

“Those villagers sure did know who you were…”

“…and they’re the only ones who caught us so far,” he reminded her. Their amount of close calls had been racking up exponentially—it was a surprise that they hadn’t been chased out of town before this. “One report does not make the military change course… not like that. Besides, it will look like they called the Marines because their harbor was wrecked and they didn’t want to pay for it.”

“…oh.” Nauja took the map and looked at it closer. “There’s a town on Diura. Do you think it’s big?”

“Probably not, but something tells me that they have the room to take in a girl who lost her mother… a man who lost his wife…” He watched as her face scrunched while trying to remember their cover story.

“It was a couple years ago,” she recited. “Moetje was sick, and you were really sad for a long time after she passed away, so my uncles told you that moving might help, since we can go where you don’t have memories of her.”

“Good—and where were we before that?”

“Water 7; you didn’t like needing to prepare for Aqua Laguna every year anyhow.”

“…and how did we get through to the South Blue?”

“A ship that could pass through the Calm Belt gave us passage, but no one has to know that it’s because it’s a submarine pirate ship and not a Marine ship.”

“Exactly.” He frowned and remembered the last time he was running like this, when it was with Cora-san, and how different this time was. “Can you remember something for me?”

The girl perked up. “What is it?”

“Remember that I love you, okay?” He watched as confusion crossed her face. “I never got the chance to tell Cora-jiisan that in all the time I spent with him. I love you…” he took a deep breath, “…and the crew loves you. That’s why we’re doing this. Do you understand?”

“You love me… and the crew loves me,” she echoed. “You loved Cora-jiisan, and he loved you. That’s why we’re running… why he ran with you… why the crew can’t run with us.”

“Yeah… that’s the gist of it.”

The little girl stayed quiet for a moment, mulling everything over as she idly picked at the hem of her sweater. She then nodded; she understood, and she was glad.

“I love you too, Vaor.”

-_-_-_-_-_-_-

That night, after the rest of Hinba was back in their homes for the evening, Law used his Devil Fruit to take apart the wall in the front sitting room, having found a space inside just big enough for Kikoku. While he had entertained the idea of leaving it out as a display, it was safest that he hid it away, at least for the time being.

“You’ll come out soon enough,” he murmured to the sword as he placed it inside the thin nook. He let his hand linger on the scabbard, giving the blade inside a moment to accept its oncoming rest.

“Do we need to put my knife away?” Nauja wondered. Law looked and saw the girl was holding up her weapon; he let go of Kikoku and shook his head.

“I still want you to train,” he said. “A knife is easier to keep out of sight than a long sword. Don’t worry—Kikoku understands.” He then replaced the paneling and plaster as though it had never been moved. “This is it. We’re home now.”

“…yeah…?”

“We still need to be careful, but yeah. I don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon.” He let her cling to him in a tight hug—it was time now to get on with the rest of their lives.

[mercerislandbooks]

50 Years of Island Books: Elise Hooper

A native New Englander, Elise Hooper spent several years writing for television and online news outlets before getting a MA and teaching high-school literature and history. Her debut novel The Other Alcott was a nominee for the 2017 Washington Book Award. Three more novels—Learning to See, Fast Girls, and Angels of the Pacific—followed, all centered on the lives of extraordinary but overlooked historical women. Elise now lives in Seattle with her husband and two teenage daughters. You can read a great interview she did with Kelleen back in 2020 for the release of Fast Girls here.

Miriam: I loved The Other Alcott and Fast Girls. We're big fans and happy to have you on the blog. Let's start with your first visit to Island Books. Where were you in your career then, and what stood out about the store?

Elise: If I remember things correctly, I was on Mercer Island because my younger daughter had swim practice at the Mercerwood Shore Club. This must have been sometime in the winter of 2017 because it was already dark and rainy and my first book, The Other Alcott, had not yet been released. Usually when my daughter had these practices, I'd find a spot in the clubhouse and work on my second book, but I was feeling restless and had just heard about Island Books, so I decided to drop off the swim carpool kids and go on a little literary island adventure. Because, duh, why work when you can visit a bookstore? 

When I walked in the bookstore, I found the staff gathered around an opened bottle of champagne and they were celebrating, although I can't remember what the occasion was. The amazing part was that they poured me a glass and we started chatting. Instantly I felt at home. Books, bubbles, and smiling, welcoming faces on a dark and rainy night? Clearly the store was my kind of place. That evening marked the beginning of a great relationship.

Miriam: Seriously, why work when you can visit a bookstore? I love that you jumped right into our party. One of the reasons I enjoy your books so much is they bring often-overlooked stories of female perseverance into the spotlight. Do you have a theory as to why those stories resonated so much with our Island Books customers?

Elise: People always seem to enjoy stories about ordinary people accomplishing extraordinary things. I think it's because we all hope we're capable of extraordinary things--and for the record, I firmly believe we are! We like to be inspired and what's more inspiring than a good underdog story? Let's face it, most of us, especially women, can relate to being underestimated. All my books are about women who are underestimated, but who then strike back to defeat the odds stacked against them, and sometimes we all need a nudge to remember that we too are capable of greatness. Does this mean we all need to run out and become Olympians, award-winning photographers, or survive a world war to be great? Nope, not at all. Each of us needs to figure out what greatness means for us. 

Miriam: That's insightful, and when I think about it, some of the bestselling titles over the years at Island Books have been underdog stories, like the The Boys in the Boat and The Seven Husbands Of Evelyn Hugo. The survival of an independent bookstore in the age of Amazon is also an underdog story, so it's no wonder we like to champion those books. Perhaps a 50th anniversary is the nudge we all need to remember that we, too, are capable of greatness.

To our Island Books customers, we're getting dangerously close to the big 5-0 anniversary, so it's almost time to wrap up this series. For my next-to-last installment, I dragged the Island Books staff into a conference room and played detective. If we went to work with them in the store for a month, what would we learn about bookstore life? What are their biggest challenges? If they had a million dollars to improve the book industry or promote literacy, how would they spend it? All this and more will be revealed next time we meet.

—Miriam

[lets-talk-spirituality]

Feel free to reach back out for clarity if you need it.

Thanks. yeah, I have been reading about peace and spirituality and trying to grow the past few years, I know I have made progress within myself but with some things it seems like going in circle.

also when you say look internally how do I change that? affirmations?

for example I figured out one sad truth about myself and the kind of man I seek, yet till I get in new thing I'm not sure if I have moved passed that. is it all just an endless cycle of pain until you know you are over that thing one day?

You know the truth is, we aren’t meant to be peaceful all the time. Everything is waves— sound waves, heat waves, light waves, waves of emotions. The ocean moves gently and rashly but it’s always ebbing and flowing. That’s life. It may be still but it’s still moving. Even in chaotic water it will still flow.

That’s because life is cyclical. I’ve described it as running on a hamster wheel or going down a spiral stair case. I try to just remind myself “this too shall pass.” Maybe you’re in a phase where it feels like you’re spinning your tires in mud. It’s a phase and it will pass so try to embrace and appreciate this time for what it is and what it’s teaching you.

I don’t only love the island when it’s sunny weather, but also when it’s rainy. Love your spectrum of emotions, of experiences because that’s why you are alive, because these things mean you’re alive.

Well I was told recently sometimes it’s just bringing awareness to things.

Awareness clears karma, once you lose ignorance to something you can’t unsee it

All you have to do is continue to go through the layers of your ego to the root of issues, bring awareness to it and then when things crop up, bring your awareness back to your truth. So my deepest wound is unlovability. When that is triggered I get sad, but instead of dwelling on why no one loves me I reframe to how much I love others and how much I love them fills me up enough to take away the pain of not being loved in return. My love of my life and the island fills me up. And then I can see clearly again all the love around me. That’s the truth. I’ve never not had love of been loved because I am love. Obviously I’m not perfect so stuff doesn’t always go this way but I try my best and with the mental and emotional state I’m in now, it’s easier to handle my thoughts and feelings to get back to a positive state.

Life is gonna be painful too. You can’t escape that. You only build skills by practicing. Practicing liking healthier people sometimes comes by continuing to date around and to live out your patterns as you clear them. I notice with me I still tend to go for emotionally unavailable men which I realized was actually because I’m afraid of the strength of male sexual desire towards me sometimes. Because as a young girl, men were very forward with me sexually in a way that scared me. That’s the root of the root. And I have to heal my fear around male sexuality by first healing my fear of my own sexuality and animalistic sides of myself and others. Emotionally unavailable men feel safer to me because they are more stoic. So now that I’ve brought awareness to that, different guys have been showing up in my field. Maybe you still need to get deeper to the root. And these repeating experiences show you still haven’t found the root.

It’s not an endless cycle of pain. Even the pain I experienced had beautiful moments too. I think it’s easy to forget those. Pain can be beautiful too. It can be something that transforms you. But every cycle will have pain in it just as it will have joy. You have to have two sides of a coin to have the whole coin.

[freebooter4ever]

.

I know i said i wouldnt waste any more words on him but this morning im indulging.

It's cloudy and rainy in LA today. When I imagined being older - well first off I didn't think it would take me till my thirties to finally feel semi-securely independent- but as a kid I always saw myself living and working in Seattle (home) with the glossy wet streets and constant smell of damp pine needles. So I guess when I get even a little sense of that...it feels like some sort of accomplishment I didn't even recognize I was searching for? The mist at the seaport did the same. I didn't even bring a coat with me, I was wandering around the village in my goofy sailing ship sweater and 4 inch heels, probably standing out like a sore thumb. But you couldn't get me to get off those beautiful ships just because of a little rain. One of the volunteers I was chatting up was so amused by my refusal to stay dry she actually gave me her umbrella to use while she hid under the ship's eaves.

And Oh, the rain the greenery the clouds reminded me of that little island off vancouver island that i fell so much in love with while working there for a week. Where I went running on rocky beaches, and took my cool down sitting on a driftwood throne, and kept thinking about how i wanted to take nick out of land locked pittsburgh and get him out here to the pacific northwest and keep him. That was back when we were still doing our friends-with-benefits/lovers(?) thing, and eight years ago sounds like forever but it felt like no time at all when I saw him walking across the gravel hill in the port. (I keep reminding myself that he never called me once while he was in Seattle)(I thought about him constantly whenever I was there...and that was obviously not reciprocated).

But look, we met on one of my more miserable thanksgivings when I was headed down the treacherously tall front steps of his sister's pittsburgh north side house, and he was headed up with an arm load of pies. And all he had to do was fucking smile at me (and then later when I came back from my office around 2am to find him sitting on the floor of the kitchen eating pie, and I perched on the bar stool and we talked for three hours, and he kept smiling and smiling and smiling up at me like I was something special).

He smiled at me again when I unexpectedly saw him at the seaport. He did NOT tell me the bad weather meant he was no longer aboard whatever ship he had been supposed to be on. He had not responded to any of my texts about how I and a friend were making the trip anyway. And he must have overhead me bitterly complaining to my friend that I hated how much I loved this place because I wanted to see it, hate it, and be able to forget about him. So his smile was a little strained, I think.

I wish I had taken photos of his office. It was up this long flight of cavernous wood steps covered in hanging seafaring paraphernalia in a wooden building over a century old. And at the top, in his little room - also covered in ship building paraphernalia, he offered me a seat. But instead of sitting in the arm chair I pulled out a nearby stool so I could perch as close to his desk as possible. And to the left of me was this beautiful old glass window. So when looking at him got to be too much, i could stare out at the ships.

Cause looking at him was the same, like no time had passed, and it was weird and terrifying because of how unexpected that was. He could still lift me off my feet in a hug like it was easy, and the minute we touched I still didn't want to let go. Kissing was a little scarier than it used to be, but that was my fault for having retreated back into my shell during the pandemic. But between kisses, while we were still stuck together like magnets, I definitely kept babbling about how much I already loved this place, and how my job was all on the computer, and technically I could work remote anywhere I chose, and he was definitely encouraging it.

And I'm not stupid, I promise. I know that if I up and moved to small town rhode island nick would get tired of me within a week, and it would be a disaster and all fall apart. I know this has always been my lovestory and for him its something else entirely. But oh my god that office overlooking the ships, with his big blue eyes looking at me from across a desk that he utterly belonged in...that could be a fantasy.

(the best thanksgiving of my life was him and me alone in a cabin in the laurel highlands, taking his truck out in the snow and exploring the woods)(he baked me mac n cheese)(if i do have a type its: ‘can cook well’)(but im also awkwardly aware that my bar for ‘best’ is so low, that surely he's had better, and this is all one sided).

I've dated other people since, obviously, and they've been wonderful, but no one ever felt like ‘home’ like he did. And it alarmed me that the same feeling remained even after not seeing each other in person for six ish years. Sometimes it scares me that I won't ever find that again. Especially getting older, and getting all of society's messaging that I'm basically undesirable and worthless at this point. And I also sometimes wonder what it means that I could feel that way about someone who doesn't feel the same way back, and maybe that means this feeling is wrong somehow. But I don't even know what this feeling is, thats so strong it compells me to drive over eight hours not even expecting to see him but just to see the misty seaport that has held this previously nomadic ski bum/sailor/new yorker down for more than a year.

I'm not going to think about it deeper than I already have. I have come to him so much over the years. Maybe if he finally comes to LA for a bit. Maybe then. But oh my god there's a huge chunk of me that longs to sit in that office, watching the ships and him, until I get my fill of it, whenver that might be.

[krisinthefalklands]

It Begins...

"I've applied for a school in the Falklands", Sara tells me. ".... Huh!? Oh? Right... OK", this comes as a bit of a shock to me, we've previously spoken about the possibility of us returning back up north, where the quality of life is better than where we currently are, just outside of 2023's Worst Place To Live, Luton, and where the cost of living is significantly cheaper, but at the same time, I was also somewhat unsurprised, Sara has always had itchy feet (I'm talking about a desire to travel, not a long undiagnosed skin condition) and was ready for a new school to teach at.

We'd previously visited an island with a small population for her to attend an interview weekend, where partners were also invited, and please, do read the next bit in air-quotes, with as much sarcasm as you can muster, "but partners aren't being interviewed, just invited so they can get a feel for the island", sure Jan... and just days before the 2020 COVID-19 lockdown measures were introduced in the UK, we visited the tiny island of Sark in the Channel Islands.

Not only is Sark a tiny island, it also has a tiny population of about 500 people, where people are outnumbered by the sheep, and the coastline is frequented by funny looking black and white birds (just remember this information for later) as puffins can be spotted on the sheer coastal edges of the island in Spring.

During our time on Sark, when Sara wasn't preparing a lesson to give to her potential future class, we went up and down their bustling high street, avoiding the local traffic of tractors, horse and carts and bicycles...there are no cars allowed on Sark (despite how much my friend Victoria keeps suggesting that if you squint, you could mistake a sports car for a small tractor), not that you would need a car given the size of the island! We also had a lovely curry at the seigneur's home with the other candidates, headteacher of the school and his wife, and a few local residents, including the locum GP, who I may have landed in hot water when I was "absolutely not being interviewed" by the island's vicar and his wife.

The current seigneur of Sark is the delightful Christopher Beaumont, the 23rd person to take up the mantle, a former officer in the British Army, but despite his highfalutin sounding status is down to earth, and happy to chat away with visitors to his beautiful gardens, especially about his newly installed solar panels and electric tractor (the first of it's kind on Sark!)

Sadly, it wasn't to be for our dream of a few quiet years on Sark, and we returned to empty streets, loo roll shortages and queues outside supermarkets, as we took our singular government approved walk of the day. Life moved on, just day after day after sodding day. The more things changed, the more things stayed the same.

There were other attempts to move to Sark, the teacher who did get the job decided it wasn't for them and returned to mainland UK. I guess choosing small island life requires a certain kind of hardiness, pig headedness and a desire to be part of a small community who will know everything about you after a certain amount of time. We have those qualities (we hope), but again, the job was offered to another applicant.

So after a couple of attempts of moving to one small island, and it not being successful, I pessimistically assumed it would be the same here, Sara would go for the interview, impress the panel, but there would just be that one sodding person with a smidge more experience, who would get the job and leave us stuck on rainy Brexit island.

The big day came, Sara set off to London for the interview, you see, whilst for Sark they flew us to Guernsey and then put us on the cute little ferry to the small island, the Falklands is a 16 hour flight across the Atlantic, and a bit far to go for an interview, so the interview panel came to the UK, at Falkland House, the Falkland Islands London address, where you can visit to discuss all manner of things, so long as those questions are about the Falkland Islands. Of course, things didn't go smoothly, as her tube decided to stop in the middle of a tunnel between stations, unable to contact the office to say she was delayed as this was a line that did not yet have 4G signal installed throughout, but she did make her interview in the nick of time, and on exit was told she'd hear back within a week.

At this point my pessimism had kicked in. They had clearly given the job to someone else, and we were doomed for another year in the London commuter belt. Another year of eating fish fingers whilst watching Pointless. Another year of breathing in the polluted air from the main road we lived next to. Another year of...

"ring ring¹"... Sara's phone is ringing, it's a +500 number from The Falkland Islands... I listen in...

"Hi, is that Sara?", asks the caller, she confirms, and the voice on the other end replies, "Sorry about the delay in getting back to you, when we arrived we needed to have a week to rest from the exhaustion of flying and to have a think about the candidates we saw. We were really impressed with your"... I could sense the "but", again, I'm a pessimist by nature... "and we'd like to offer you the position of class teacher at the Infant and Junior School starting in September" - for once, my natural glass half empty, cheery outlook on life, was unfounded.

I went to Tesco to get cake to celebrate the news, although the choices were rubbish and I came back with mini Millionaires Shortbread bites rather than actual cake, but now we had to let it sink in that we were going to have a very big journey ahead of us.

What follows is that journey²...

¹it didn't actually go "ring ring", we're millennials and as such our phones are permanently on mute, and just went "vvvvvvb vvvvvvb" but that would have looked like a cat walked across my keyboard if I'd put that.

²It's worth noting up to now, this has mostly been about Sara's journey, but from hereon this will be a shared journey

[umbrx]

@vixlariku​​ said just to make Doffy jealous: For the ship meme: Viola & Shanks 🌷

SEND ME A SHIP and i’ll tell you: (still accepting!)

who wakes up first in the morning Viola. She has a lot of duties to attend to early in the morning as the princess of Dressrosa, and all of them concern her people. Their well-being comes first to her, and she can be found in the hospice, shelters or around children. It is also the best way to avoid Doffy for the most of the day. Shanks tends to enjoy resting up after a restless night, even more so if morning sex happens. The bed is also very comfy in the morning, still smelling of their nightly activities and presence.

who’s the first to fall asleep at night Viola. Also the reason why she’s the one to get up earlier. She knows the importance of rest, and in Shanks’ warm embrace, it’s rather easy to be lulled to sleep after some nice loving. Shanks prefers to watch her fall asleep, take in her features, wonder how he ended up so lucky, until tiredness and sleep sweep him off as well.

what they playfully tease each other over They don’t tease each other much, but when they do, it’s often as a remark to something they’ve spoken about. A subtle poke at something they did, a memory from when they were younger, etc. Viola will call him boy from time to time, especially when he gets cheeky.

what they do when the other’s having a bad day These are very rare moments for them, as they don’t really see each other much. Partly because Shanks doesn’t come often to Dressrosa, partly because Viola is a prisoner of Dressrosa under Doffy’s rule. If they do happen to meet when one is having a bad day, they either try to give the other some space, or they offer a shoulder to lean on. Shanks is a very good listener, and more often than not, rather than giving solutions to her problems (they’re mostly Doffy-centred), he listens to her and gives her a chance to vent to someone. Viola usually gives advice, as she is able to objectively approach the problem and give either constructive criticism or solutions. She’s wiser beyond her age and Shanks always appreciates her for it.

how they say ‘i’m sorry’ after arguments They don’t argue much, if at all. Again, they don’t have as many opportunities to spend time together, and when they meet up, it’s mostly to enjoy each other’s body. Shanks is often gone the next day or the day after, so there are hardly reasons that would cause an argument between them. They’re both aware their relationship is physical, and while they share gentle, emotional moments, those are equal to those of close friends. Because of their different lives, with Shanks being free to do as he pleases and Viola being trapped in her royal duties, they’re really more of a “lovers for the night” rather than a couple. Less complicated, no strings attached, or so they hope.

which one’s more ticklish Shanks.

their favourite rainy day activities Chatting, sex. Sex is self-explanatory, but chatting is where their personalities show the most. They will cover various topics, be they political ones such as Tenryuubito or the Gorosei, Marines or Revolutionaries and pirates, to everyday lives such as the people of Dressrosa or people on the islands under Shanks’ protection. Viola has high moral views so they often discuss the order of the world, slavery, racism, injustice, as well as the definitions of justice too. They let ideas storm and always end up with a nice, deep conversation out of it. Other things they could enjoy are often inaccessible due to one pink Satan.

how they surprise each other Shanks surprises Viola with gifts from islands he has visited. They are often some items linked to the culture of said island, which then sparks a conversation about it. Viola surprises him whenever she reads his mind without using her ability, but also will, from time to time, return the favour by giving him something from Dressrosa. He has a shelf on his ship with such souvenirs.

their most sickening shows of public affection Public sex, to Doflamingo’s greatest displeasure. Especially on the balcony. The chances of being caught are often low as they’re in the middle of the night, but both Viola and Shanks know when Doffy is awake and can see them. He often does. They both enjoy his inner jealousy he believes is hidden, but enjoy the danger of being seen even more. The nights in Dressrosa are warm, and they’re only hotter when bodies are pressed against each other, letting the passion take its course.

[thearchivistsjournal]

Day 343,

Morning thought: It has occurred to the both of us that Maiko doesn’t have a good way of carrying around that dagger except by hand.  Need to get her a sash or something to go with that sundress.  Or maybe figure out how to strap the scabbard to the shoulder strap on her pouch.

Speaking of the sundress, it seems Maiko’s planning on sticking with her usual (lack of) garb today.  It seemed rude to comment on it, so I didn’t.  Perhaps she wants to save it for actually going into the Village so it doesn’t get damaged?  Or it could just be a practical thing, like she said before about it being unsuitable for moving around the forest in.  Or it could simply be that even if she likes it, she’s still more comfortable without.

*******

Back to the comfortable rainy-season market day routine.  With a couple of minor alterations.

I finally remembered those goggles from Diomedes while also having an opportunity to try them out.  This time instead of splitting up with me doing laundry in the stream while Maiko goes fishing in the spring, she helped with the laundry and then I… well, I’d like to say I helped fish, but mostly I just watched and then held the ones she caught so she didn’t have to hold one while catching another.  But, I got to watch her from underwater.

It was impressive, to say the least, finally getting a clear view.  There was a fluidity to her movement like she was as used to this as she was walking.  Not to mention speed.  Her fishing method (or perhaps “hunting method” would be more accurate) seemed to be to swim out over the well-like hole in the center of the spring, pick out her target, then swim down and hang onto the stone wall until the unsuspecting fish got relatively close.  I imagine she then pushed herself off the wall once her quarry was in an acceptable range, but in truth I just saw something of a blur and then she was halfway across the well with the fish in her mouth and cloudy red wisps about her head.  

How she manages to continue holding her breath like that, I have no idea.  But speaking of held breath, the number of times I had to come up from air really drove home my own relative lack of lung capacity.

Scarily Highly proficient as she was though, I couldn’t help but get a creeping sense of anxiety seeing her out over that watery abyss.  Even sticking my head underwater with the goggles I still can’t see the bottom.  Honestly, for whatever reason it made me even more uncomfortable than the first time I found the place.  Maybe it was the story of the villager who got taken down there by a strange nature sprite all those years ago?  Or maybe the bottomless dark reminded me of the Catacomb Depths.

That aside, it was a good time.  For all that I live on an island and have that spring so close to home and the beach hardly farther in the other direction, you’d think I’d go swimming more.  Especially with how much I enjoy it.

Closest you get to flying.

In the evening once the laundry was reasonably dry (we lucked out with the weather on that count) we went back into the Village.  The sundress went back on.  On the way back I finally remembered to mention the plans the rest of us had discussed to celebrate Maiko’s coming out to the Village.  Maiko seemed agreeable to that.  More than I would have expected actually.  I suspect she might not have been so much several days ago.  We’ll talk to the others about making plans for next market day when we manage to track them down.  

A brief check of the bracelets indicated none of them were at the inn this evening.  At a guess, I’d say James wanted Cass to join in family dinner again with how often she’s missed that lately, and Lin’s probably with Ka’eo.  Not sure about Vernon.

Speaking of plans, Maiko mentioned the fruits on that island with the lizards should be at peak ripeness soon.  We’ll need to get back out there sometime.  

And now I’m thinking about other things I’d like to do.  Don’t know how I never managed to get back out to that lake of stars.  That could be fun to do as a group once the dry season hits.  That’s still one of my fondest memories of… well, I was about to say “of this place” or “since washing up” but given that I don’t really have any distinct memories of events from my past life I guess it’s just plain “one of my fondest memories.”

How many fond memories did I lose in the process of coming here?  It’s a melancholy thought now that it’s occurred to me, even if it loses some of its bite from the fact that it’s hard to miss what you can’t remember.  I like to think that I had more than a few, whatever they were.  

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