#it’s like a big kid saying wow you don’t have girl friends? youre a sexist

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

🐰🎩NEW TRICKS🎩🐰

Prompt: Y/N decides to show Mr. Moxley some new tricks in order to certify him that he is still her number one

Word Count: Long

Pairings: Jon Moxley x Reader

Warnings: +18, oral sex (male receiving), angst, jealousy, cursing, praise kink

Tag: @jibbles26 , @bellalutionn

Notes: I’m a sucker for the power that blowjobs hold upon guys. Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories on my Masterlist and my newest story as a fixed post. Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

“Hi doll, what you’re up to?” He smirks as he nibs my neck

“Just working. Why? Do you need something?” I ask as I remove my reading glasses

“I do, actually”

“What do you need babe?” I look up to his blue eyes that were filled with mischief

“You” He grinned

“Jon, I thought you needed something urgent” I chuckle

“I do!” He pulls me off my desk chair “I missed you so much” He cradled his face on the crook of my neck

“Jon, we’ve had sex six times yesterday and two times this morning, how can you physically still miss me?” I laugh “That’s like, 8 rounds in less than 24 hours babe! And you only got home yesterday”

“I can’t help it that you’re so fucking hot and looks so sexy all the time” He licks a trail from my neck to my lips

I look down to my current outfit that consisted in a comfortable pair of grey leggings, an oversized Korn t-shirt, Wilson’s crew socks, glasses, messy hair and no makeup

“I don’t think I look very sexy right now” I cackled

“Yes you do! You always do!” He pulls me closer to his crotch by my ass “C’mon Y/N, let’s do some fun nasty business, kitten” He slaps my ass quite vigorously

“Tempting, but I’ll have to decline it! Sorry big guy” I patted his chest

“Why?” He whined and stomped his feet like a little kid

“Because some of us got some serious work to do” I smiled fondly as I sit back in my desk chair

“But I wanna be with you! I need you and I want you now!” He pouted

“Jon, I promise you that once I finish this I’ll be all yours ok love?”

“No” He whines “Not later, right now!” He stomps his feet again

Yes, Jon Moxley can be quite the bad boy, but what a lot of people don’t know is that he’s also a fucking whining little baby! He gets an attitude over the dumbest reasons and sometimes this little scenario happens, where he thinks he can whine and pouts his way until he get what he wants. Sometimes it’s cute and charming to see such a big bearded man like him cause such a scene, but another times like right now it’s annoyingly frustrating, uncalled for and the last thing I need to get me even more stressed out.

“Jonathan, don’t start it! You’re not 4 years old! You’re a grown ass man in your 30’s, so behave as such” I turn to my computer and start to type my notes. After 10 minutes I can still feel his presence behind me, making me grow more nervous

“Jon, you’re not helping, my love” I said calmly

“I’m waiting. You said I would have you once you’re done so I’m waiting!” He bitterly said

“Won’t you rather wait in the couch instead? Meanwhile you can pick a movie for us to watch it later” I try to negotiate

“Meh, I’m perfect where I am right now, thanks for the concern” He huffed

*Oh great, what a fucking joy!* I thought

“This might take a while” I defeatedly said

“Don’t worry, I got time” Was his short answer

Fifteen minutes (and a stubborn Jon Moxley sitting on the floor) later I get a call from Peter, my coworker.

“Hey Peter what’s up?” I say holding my phone to my ear with my shoulder “What? Wait Peter, hold on I can’t hear you properly and I can’t stop typing”

“Well, put it on speaker then” Jon mumbled behind me and in my workaholic haze I did it as he told me, forgetting about one little small detail: Peter’s innocent (but also kind of annoying) flirting.

“Pete, can you repeat that again please?” I rapidly say while I type

“I asked when do you think you can send me the paperwork?” He chuckled

“Oh! Can you give me like....30 minutes?”

“I can give you whatever you want” He charmingly said

“Peter, shut up”

“What?” He cackled “It’s true you know, ask and you shall receive, my dear”

“I didn’t knew you were a Jesus fan” I mocked

“I’m your fan” I can hear the smile on his voice

“Whatever weirdo” I brush it off as I continue to type on the dashboard “Is that all you needed?”

“No, there’s one more thing that I forgot to ask you”

“Ok, shoot” I said

“When are you finally going to accept any of my nightcaps invitations?” Pure amusement filling up his voice

“Oh God send me to hell, fuck off Peter!” I jokingly said and hung up

I totally forgot the fact that Jon had heard that until his voice broke the silence

“So how long have you been seeing each other?” He rudely spats

“What? Seeing who?” I ask confused

He stood up from the floor, yanked me off the chair and trapped my body between his and the table.

“Your sweet boy Pete” he coldly smiles

I roll my eyes “Jon, are you really gonna take a guy like Peter seriously? He quotes Jesus to flirt! That’s nothing but pathetic and also slight disrespectful towards Jesus” I joke

“You think this is funny? What if you caught me flirting with a girl from work, how would that make you feel?”

“It depends if you’re gonna quote Jesus or not” I tease

“Y/N I’m fucking serious! Is this a joke to you? Our relationship is a joke to you? Am I a fucking joke to you?”

“My answer is no to all the above. Now if you ask me if I think that you’re overreacting then yes, I do”

“Overreacting? Really? What about all of the nightcaps invitations? Are you gonna tell me I’m overreacting about that too?” His voice starts to rise

“I don’t like your tone Jonathan” I angrily said

“And I don’t like you having an affair with your coworker!” He yelled

“Oh, so I’m having an affair now? Wow, I better accept those invitations then, if I’m going to hold the cheating girlfriend of the year award” I spat

“Are you having an affair with him?”

“How can you even ask that? You know me better than that Jonathan!” Now I’m yelling too, peachy just peachy!

“Well you didn’t answered my question though. Are you?”

“Of course not! What makes you think that?”

“You don’t wanna have sex with me, so where are you getting some? ‘Cause we both know you have quite the appetite for sex, I mean fuck, is hard even for me to keep up with you! You’re like a fucking machine!” He says

My eyes widened in disbelief “So just because I declined to have sex with you 30 minutes ago, because I have to work, I am suddenly a cheater? Or is it because I like to have sex more than the average women do that makes me a cheater? Wow Jonathan, I’ve never heard you say that when one of your male friends cheated. That says a lot”

“Says a lot about what?”

“Your sexist side. Or I don’t know, maybe it’s something else, maybe you are the one who’s cheating on me! So you’re mirroring your infidelity on me”

“Me? A sexist? Now that’s a joke” He laughs “We both know the things you’ve already done to me in the bedroom and trust me pumpkin, if I was a sexist I would never had let you go down that road, if you know what I mean” He measured me up and down “And even if I wanted to cheat on you, which is not the case, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t physically be able to since you knock my ass down every single time we fuck”

“I don’t hear you complain! In fact if I remember correctly you were the one who got in here wanting to have sex in the first place” I huff annoyed

“And I still do kitten” He gets closer

“Don’t touch me, jerk”

“You know how much it turns me on when you get all mad like that, right?” He tried to grab my breasts but I slapped his hands away

“Stop, Jonathan”

“What?” He leans closer, pressing his hardening bulge against my lower belly “Am I not good enough for you anymore? Do you prefer your boy Pete instead?”

“Bullshit” I spat

“Then show me, kitten” He whispers “Show me I’m still good enough for you” He makes me grab a handful of his erection “Show me that you still want me, that I still turn you on”

I pulled him down towards me by his neck, kissing him roughly, biting his lower lip quite harshly

“Hmm” He growls “My kitten is feisty, I like that” He smirks “I love when you’re a bitch to me” He laughs devilishly “Whatcha gonna do, huh?”

I forcefully open the button of his jeans, pulling the fly down and yanking the pants along with his boxer briefs down.

Jon put his hands up, in a surrender position. I lick my palm and close my fist around his cock, pumping it up and down.

“Yes baby” He moaned “Take it! Take what’s yours”

I kneel down and without thinking twice, I swallow his length until it reaches the back of my throat

“Fuuuuck! Y/N, baby...so good, you suck my dick so fucking good kitten! I love it, I fucking love it!” He moans and I push him further down my throat, swallowing around him

“Oh my fuck” He bucks his hips forward in surprise “How can you be so good at this?” He whispers, holding my hair back, so he can watch me sucking him off

“You look so fucking gorgeous sucking my cock baby. Fuck, look at that! Look at how well you take everything in”

I look up at him, hearing him continuing to praise me

“I love when you look at me...so beautiful with your mouth full of cock, so greedy for more aren’t you, baby?”

I nod, lifting his member up so I can lick the bottom half of his shaft, making him moan loudly

“You’re so insanely good at giving head! A fucking pro” He panted “The best head I’ve ever gotten”

I lock my lips around the head, sucking it hard to make him feel the pressure I know he loves, while my hands pump his length with a tight grip

“Oh yes, baby” Jon screamed in pleasure “Oh my fucking- Stop, stop” He moans with his eyes hazy in ecstasy, mouth in an ‘O’ shape as he bites his knuckles to prevent any screaming.

“We both know you don’t want me to stop” I smile, licking from the bottom of the head to his slit

“You’re gonna pay for this” His voice shakily says

“I wouldn’t threaten me if I were you baby” I smirked “I have other tricks that I’ve never showed you before” I whisper, feeling his length throbbing on my hand

“Other tricks?” He faintly whispered

I let go of his member and lay down on the floor beckoning to him.

“Come here Jon, let me show it to you baby”

Please let me know your thoughts on this? Feedback is always appreciated 🥰😘

[tokousername]

Neverland (OUAT)

This is a Peter Pan story, I’m not sure how long it’ll be but we’ll see ;3  - "Agh!" You grunted after being thrown on the deck of a ship, hitting your head hard. "Owh?" You leaned up on one elbow and held the back of your head, the pirate looked down on you, a hook on one wrist, you put your hand down and leaned up on your palms, looking up at him. "That was a little rude. Who are you?" You ask him. "I should ask you the same thing." He says, pointing a sword at you. You smirked deviously at him, a flash of.. what seemed like familiarity crossed his face. "Are you really going to hurt a young girl like me?" You ask him. He walked closer, the sword moving closer until the very tip touched your trachea. "You remind me of someone.. Someone very dangerous... So yes. I will hurt you." He says. You sigh and bring your hand up, biting the nail of your index finger, nails of which are long. Not super long, but long enough you could hurt someone with them. You started giggling, with the nail still in your teeth, you put your hand down and licked your lips, smiling. "I don't know where I am, and from the looks of it, I don't know this place either... Are we still in storybrooke?" You ask. He lowers his sword just a bit, enough that you can comfortably move your head. "No. No we're not.. Wait, how did you get here?" He asks, dropping his sword to his side, you lean back up and put your arms on your knees. "I have no idea." You tell him honestly, still giving him that same look, all it told him was that you were trouble. "I'll be back. Don't move." He says, turning to go in the cabin of the ship, you wait a moment, biting your lip to see if he'd come back out within the next minute, which he didn't, you heard voices instead. He was busy. You smirked and got up, crouching down and moving to the edge of the ship, they were docked so you had no problem climbing down and onto the shore. You looked around and then ran off into the woods. That man was looking at you like an enemy, you did not want to stick around to see what would happen. You kept running until the sounds of the waves were gone, then you slowed to a jog and then to a skip for a little bit until you finally started walking, but only for a short while as you stopped to look around, you didn't know your way around. You knew where the water was, you saw wood all around and the stuff to start a fire. You figured you were pretty okay, you just needed to make sure nobody was around to hurt you. You started jogging again until you heard the sound of flying arrows, you spun to look but were taken to the ground hard, you covered your head as you went down, a weight on your back, big arms wrapped around your body, you could even feel breath on your ear, someone had saved you from being skewered. You uncovered your head and turned it, the person got on their hands and knees above you, you spun your body so you were now facing upward, it was.. A boy. A boy your age it looked like, with blonde hair and scars along his face, he was wearing a hood and ragged clothes. He bent his head down to your face, only about a foot away and let out a breathy snort. "Who are you?" He asks, leaning back up, he stood himself up off the ground and stuck out his hand to people you couldn't see. You were rolled your eyes at him and he grabbed you by the bicep, then lifted you off the ground, he started pulling you away. "You know what, I don't care." He says, then spins you and grabs your other one with his other hand, pushing you back into a tree harshly. "But Peter will." He smirks. "Who's Peter?" You say as he pulled you along again, you sighed and just walk "Neverland's pride and joy" He joked dryly, "Take a left." He says, you do so and keep walking until you see the orange glow of a bright campfire. "Neverland? That's not even possible." You pause while talking, chuckling a little bit, "Neverland isn't real." You explain to him, he grabs your shoulder from behind and leans down to your ear, you turn your head to stare at him. "It is, and I know you believe it is. If you didn't. You wouldn't be here." He tells you, then pushes you forward, causing you to stumble, "Come on, keep it moving." he says, you look back at him and then walk into the camp as the glow got brighter, he walks up close behind you. It got really quiet, suddenly everyone was looking at you, one of them walked up and tilted his head, if this truly was Neverland.. these must be the lost boys. "Wow." You mutter, you shake your head and let out a snicker, watching the boy walk up to the two of you."Who's this?" He asks, nodding his head toward you, you chuckle at him with a small lopsided smirk on your face, you didn't look at him, only ahead. "No idea." The blondie says, "We caught her wandering around, the boys almost turned her into a pincushion." He says, you yawn obnoxiously and the new kid looks at you. "Why didn't you let them." He says, tilting his head at you. The blonde one sighed and crossed his arms. "She reminded me of you." He admits. You put together who you must be standing so close to at the moment, it took you a second to get through the star shock of it. "Oh my god.. You're Peter Pan." You say out of the blue, he looked at you in confusion on how you figured that out, you looked back at him, right in the eye, he felt challenged by that but let it go for now. You could feel the kid behind you staring into the back of your head, he smiled in amazement and shook his head, looking down at his foot. "Yeah. Yeah I am." He looks up again and waves the other kid off, then gestured for you to follow him, which you decided to do. "Sorry about him, Felix can be a bit unwelcoming to new people, especially women." He said, glancing back at you. You scoffed and cracked your neck. "That's a little sexist don't you think?" You ask him, he climbed up onto the branch of a tree and leaned down, sticking his hand out, you sighed and took it, he pulled you up and didn't let your hand go, he pulled you close to him so your noses were almost touching. "No. It's just he's only met one or two before." He tells you, he pushed you back into another branch growing in an odd way and let your hand go, moving his lips to your ear, his hands on the tree on either side of you, you didn't dare move, sure you were usually the Peter in this situation but now he was here and for some reason you had the feeling you should just listen to him. You shivered as you felt his breath on your ear and neck, "They weren't a good experience for him." He whispers to you, then moves back again, grinning, he turned and kept climbing the tree. You stood for a moment until you heard him telling you to keep following him. "Ah- I'm coming." You say, ascending the tree after him, he would continuously help you get up until you found yourself on wooden flooring. A tree house, Peter walked into it and spun around, looking at you still standing outside it, he put his arms out. "Welcome to my humble abode." he says, "Come in, I'm not gonna kill you or anything." he says, moving things around, you sighed and walked in, glancing at the walls and 'furniture' he had. You smiled seeing the hammock in the corner of the house, it really was nice in there considering it was in the woods. "Feel free to explore." He says, catching you eyeing the ladder on the side, you looked at him cautiously and moved toward it, he sat down on the hammock and watched you. You climbed the ladder and once you came through to the top you sighed. There was another, bigger hammock and another one on the other side, there was also a hole in the roof that showed the moon and stars through it. You got distracted staring at the moon, you didn't notice that Peter had come up behind you. "You like it?" He asks, you looked straight ahead and then turned to look at him. "Yeah. It's.. really nice actually." You say in a flat tone. He smirked and crossed his arms. "You don't trust me." He says, "I can feel it." he pointed out, you furrowed your brows and put your hands in your pockets. "How did you.." You pause, "Should I have a reason to not trust you?" you ask him, he licks his lips and changes the subject. "I hope you like it here, you'll be staying with me until we find out what to do with you." he says, you were about to retaliate as he turned to go back down into the first floor until when he turned back. "And uh.. Felix stays up here too, so.. Get used to him. Try to make friends, I've got a feeling you're gonna stay." he said, you shook your head and he went back down, you jumped down into the first floor and chased him over to his hammock. "Wait, I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want to stay with Felix." You tell him, he looks up at you as he sat down in his hammock, a very tiny smile of amusement on his face. "Well, stay up there with him, or, stay on the ground with the rest of the boys." He says. You let out an annoyed groan and he narrows his eyes at you, you stare him in the eye and he gets up, walking right up to you, you kept your eyes locked with his. "You've got spirit. But put it away for now." He says, walking past you, he reaches down and tosses a pillow and a blanket at you, you catch them and sigh in defeat, he was nice enough to give you somewhere to stay, you had no place to complain. "Fine." You climbed up the ladder, he smiled and blew out his lanterns, laying down. You saw the lights go out and blew out the one that was up there after putting your stuff together, you laid down and relaxed, putting your hands behind your head, a few minutes later you heard an exchange of words and then Felix came up, you glanced over at him, he locked eyes with you in the dark, you rolled your own and turned over to you faced the wall. He walked off to the other side of the room and you heard him undress a bit, probably take jackets and weapons off and then get into bed. You heard a loud whistle come from downstairs, it confused you for a moment until you heard all the other lost boys whistle back in the same tone, including Felix. You smiled to yourself, they weren't that bad, Felix was annoying but you owed him for saving your life. You still weren't sure you wanted to stay but maybe a few more days with them will tell you that.

[boydykedoctor]

Will for the ask game <3

Why I like them

I relate to Will so much, from his personality to his family history and I just! cannot! fathom! the show without him. He’s rare representation of a sweet kid who also isn’t a doormat, and he always puts others before himself.

Why I don’t

Season 2 Will has one sexist line abt girls not liking video games and Season 3 Will says “Girls go to space camp?” like SIR you have no business talking this way anymore when you literally know Max and El #YourFaveIsProblematic

Favorite episode

S2E4 “Will the Wise” which is when he does all of the drawings that create the map around Joyce’s house. also the first time noah does the “he likes it cold” literally i get shivers thinking about it it’s so creepy. HOWEVER oh my god i just remembered that scene in S2E3 where Will screams at the MF to go away bc Bob told him to and???? literally heartbreaking wow 

Favorite season

obviously he shines in S2. that season is The Will Season.

Favorite line

imo the funniest scene in all of ST is jonathan pouring his heart out to make will feel better he’s like! i’m a freak too! and will is just... “is that why you don’t have any friends?” 

Favorite outfit - will the wise next

OTP - byler next

Brotp - byclair and i’m praying for willel next season

Headcanon

i think will might go to college initially wanting to be an art major but i think he’d end up in education because he wants to teach art. honestly all the boys in the Party like mr. clarke so much that i feel like at least a couple of them will be teachers/in education somehow. yes he canonically wants to be a comic book artist but also it’s hard to hold onto those kinds of dreams when you come from a single-working-parent home.

Unpopular opinion

i don’t want will to have a break next season bc that’ll mean he won’t get to be a big part of the plot. i’m fine with him suffering if it means good story - i just don’t want it to be gratuitous or homophobic obvi. (also Down With Bowl Cut!!!)

A wish

i hope that they give us plenty of will and jane at their new school and that we don’t hop into plot/brenner/russian stuff way too quickly. ST has done a good job of blending teen drama with supernatural/conspiracy for the most part (i’m iffy on season 3′s balance) and i want that to continue.

(also punk will cmon teen punk phase cmon jonathan didnt show him the clash for nothin)

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

i don’t care if they don’t say it directly bc they’ve done enough to firmly queer-code him so if they kill him it is bury your gays. and also bad writing.

5 words to best describe them

funny, kind, artsy, So Important, Gay™

My nickname for them - do people nickname characters?

[lithaxbaby]

Feminine feminism

Ever since I was a kid I rejected anything inherently female, I feel like the reasons why are pretty obvious, but I’ll divulge anyway. “Are there any strong boys in the class to help?”, “girls can’t play football with us!”, “you’re so un-ladylike!” “The boys are the doctors and the girls are the nurses”, “No! The prince saves the princess” and I’m sure we all have a lot more experiences of sexism growing up. Now I’m not saying that boys didn’t experience their fair share of sexism growing up, because they certainly have. “Boys don’t cry”, “what kind of boy doesn’t like sports”, “those toys are for girls”. And I acknowledge the fact that sexism towards young boys completely exits because the sexist remarks made to boys are at the same time, sexist to girls too, but it’s not the same vice verse. Let me explain. “Boys don’t cry” - this implies that boys are too strong to cry, but there is no such thing as “girls don’t cry”. Why? You may be asking ourself, well it’s simple really, because girls are weak and feeble, so they can cry. I am in no way saying that telling a young boy to hide his emotions is a compliment or a positive thing, because we all know the effects are detrimental, but what I am saying is even the sexist comments directed at men don’t lift women up, even though the sexist comments directed at women lift men higher than a women could ever be.

Now years later, school has ran it’s course and I’m in the big world. I’m a very confident person, I love who I am and how I look, I never went through the awkward insecure teenage phase, which is most likely down to two things. The first being my amazing family. I was never just my parents pretty daughter, there was always something specific they would pick out and describe to me how beautiful it was, so I was never insecure about my nose or my weight or anything really, because everything about me had it’s beauty described in detail growing up. The second reason sounds like a silly one, but it’s the fact that I always had boys that had crushes on me in school. I don’t seek male validation and I do everything I do for myself, but knowing that no matter if I had a back pack instead of a hand bag or if I didn’t wear make up, the boys still liked me proved to me that maybe my parents were right, I am naturally beautiful while being myself.

There is one thing I don’t like about myself though something I can’t “learn to love” as the media tells you to do, this is something I need to get rid of asap. My internalised sexism. As a child I moulded myself based on how I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel strong and fun, so I became masculine, believing that these stereotypes on women are completely true, and of course I don’t want to be a weak damsel, so therefore I’ll try my hardest to not be a girl. Ive carried that into my current life. No revealing clothes or people wont take you seriously, because they will be reminded you’re a women. I was dressing like Billie Eilish before Billie Eilish. No pink or you’ll be branded as girly AKA stupid. No hobbies like dancing, because it’s not a real sport or even a talent, it’s a boring feminine pass time. No using a napkin to wipe your face or putting a bite size amount of food in your mouth, or else you will look like you care about how you look and be branded as vein and conceded. As I got older I tried to keep playing with the boys, but it became hard. All the boys would go on bike rides, but they didn’t want a girl coming because I’d be too slow, they would play football but they didn’t want a girl playing football because I wasn’t very good and would ruin the game. Now all the boys play video games, but have you ever tried to play video games with boys? “Go make me a sandwich and stop playing on your boyfriends Xbox”, “you are so bad at this game, you obviously only play to impress boys”, and even things that they view as compliments such as “Wow, you’re really good for a girl!”. Growing up I had to deal with sexism from all the adults around me, but now it’s from people I called my friends, saying they aren’t feminists because feminists are crazy bitches, and being called “Will’s lass” (Will is my boyfriend and lass means young/teenage girl in the UK, I’m not a pirate, I promise) as if he is the human and I’m the pet. I’ve had experiences with his family members such as uncles and cousins approaching us at special occasion, look at him and say “is this your lass? she’s gorgeous” as if looking at me everywhere besides in the eyes and commenting on me like an animal or even an inanimate object is a compliment to both me and my boyfriend. My point is, no matter how I breach the universal code of conduct of how a woman should look or act, I still get treated the same way I did as a little girl.

So today I say to myself and anyone else out there feeling the same way: fuck it. Wear all that make up, use that napkin, go to that dance class, use your prettiest pink bag and wear that short skirt. These people that hold these outdated and hateful views aren’t the people you should be changing yourself for. Whether you have long hair and make up on, or short hair and look the same way you woke up, people will judge you for one simple thing and that is the thing between your legs. So show the world how sexy yet smart you are, how ladylike yet strong you are, how great your dancing is yet how many kills you can get on team deathmatch in Call of Duty. Don’t waste your time trying to get sexists of the world to decide you’re masculine enough to not be judged, be who you want to be and give them something to talk about, they’re talking anyway.

[jaideite]

Hc of Older Bakugo with baby fever? Just a thought.

B-Baby fever 🥺 yes this will be done !!!

this turned out longer then what it was supposed to be but it’s worth it for the scene at the end hehehe

dead tho I’m so sorry at how long this is I really got into it I—

OLDER!BAKUGOU WITH BABY FEVER

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

— it was literally the classic “save a baby” situation

— he could hear the kid screaming but where was the damn thing

— you had already left the building so there was no way to ask for some backup so he just went in

— “bRING YOUR ASS BACK HERE!”

— “tHERES A BABY—“

— eventually he finds it and

— uh oh

— its like a four month old baby

— he kind of just :/ because his gauntlet explosion thingies dont really allow him to hold things

— so he just kind of takes them off and leaves them, and picks up the baby and rushes out

— and just then the building explodes and you just see Ground Zero hurtling out the building and rolling on the ground

— he watches as one of his gauntlets flies out damaged and he just

— >:/

— but his main concern is the baby

— which he gently pulls the blanket off to reveal a soft face with pretty eyes staring him happily and tiny hands waving up at him

— he gives a soft smile and gently pokes its cheek and it giggles, gripping his gloved hand hand trying to put it into its mouth

— “Ah, ah, ah, no, that could get you sick.” He speaks softly, pulling his finger away and the baby just

— gummy smiles at him

— he smiles back like >:>

— the media is going nuts and they’re all smart enough to not speak and just take their damn pictures

— you kinda make your way over softly and your heart just clenches at the scene

— eventually he looks up at you from the ground and you crouch down to his level to see the baby too

— “hi baby!” You coo

— And this kid is just loving it man

— y’all are fine giving him the attention too because you’ve never really seen your husband interact with kids and he’s never seen you interact with them either

— it makes him wonder would you be good with his kids

— until you know he just spits on Katsuki

— you expect him to place the baby in your arms but he just sighs and grumbles about “damn stupid babies” and gets up

— the baby just sits on his chest and puts its fingers in its mouth and gurgles

— and your jusr gently take it from him

— “Awe you threw up? That’s okay, you’re probably a little sick, too. Why don’t we go see the good doctor and get you checked up?”

— he watches you in awe as you just work your mommy magic on the baby and walk away

— later on when you guys are home he just

— “You were really good with that baby.”

— you look over from whatever you’re doing on your side of the bed and smile “You too. It seems you have a knack for not making little kids cry.”

— “Hey it was one time!”

— “Katsuki that kid was twelve.”

— “Tch.”

— there’s more silence and then

— “Y’know it would be nice to have one.”

— “Hm?”

— “Litte you’s and me’s runnin’ around. . . heh. . .causing chaos.”

— you gotta pause for a second and look over to him from where he’s laying because are y’all serious having this conversation

— “Katsuki...” you start slowly “Do you...want a baby?”

— Theres silence on his end, and the sheets ruffle. “Yeah...Yeah I do...”

— You blink at him in surprise not because of the baby thing

— It’s because you honestly thought he was going to throw a big fit about denying it

— but here he is, staring you in the eye and saying he wants a baby

— and you just

— “Oh, okay.”

— he kind of just stares at you and you stare back

— and then he kinda whispers

— “Are you serious?”

— “Are you serious?” You retort back softly “This is a big decision, and if we make it we can’t back out on it, you know that right?”

— He takes a long pause and hums, nodding and turning around in the bed saying goodnight and just ending the conversation

— you just ‘Mmm’ and follow, heading to bed and wrapping your arm around him softly

— it’s brought up a few days later when the report of you two holding the little baby is brought on TV

— “You didn’t even get mad like I thought you would you just let it slide and moved on.”

— “Life’s too short to be angry over that.”

— “Hmm. And if your kid puked on you?”

— “Depends on how old they are. If they’re puking on me at 12 their ass is getting grounded.”

— “No butt whoopings?”

— “What the hell would that do? Take away their shit—more effective.”

— “Why no whoopings?”

— “You’ve met my mother, correct?”

— The topic isn’t brought up until it’s mentioned again amongst your classmates a couple weeks later

— “Who knew Bakugou was so good with babies?”

— “Can it, Round Face.”

— “Honestly, despite his shit personality, he’d be a good parent, not gonna lie.”

— “Ugh, stop talking would you?”

— and then he overhears you waking to the girls

— “When do you plan on having kids, y/n?”

— You guys kind of just freeze and you give out a little chuckle and fiddle with your clothes

— “We’ve, talked about it...but haven’t made a decision yet...besides we’re still young, we’ve got some time.”

— “Ain’t no time like the present!”

— “Shut the fuck up, Dunce Face.”

— When you guys get home and cuddle up in bed, you kind of just start talking out of no where

— “Y’know I saw a lady and her baby earlier this week. She was so cute, a little mischievous but still cute. Her mother was just so annoyed but she had a smile on her face. It was so cute.”

— he peeks an eye open and listens to you just talk about all the times you’ve come into contact with kids—some good, making him let out a small laugh, and some bad, making him cringe a little until finally he asks

— “Y/N, do you want to have kids?”

— the room is silent until you speak again

— “Of course I want to have kids,” you speak softly, fiddling with his fingers. “But when I decided I wanted to be a hero...kids just kind of left the picture.”

— “...they could possibly come back into it.” He speaks softly and you stop, going still and closing your eyes

— “Do you really want kids?” You speak ever so softly. He kind of just closes his eyes and rests in the crook of your neck

— to you it seems like the whole world seemed to just stop

— and then

— “Yeah...yeah. I want kids too.”

B O N U S:

— so like after about eight, nine months almost a year of talking about wanting to have kids y’all start trying

— and you’re annoyed because oH mY gOd y/N jUsT gEt pReGnAnT —

— so it’s been like six months since you guys started trying and then one morning just about a few weeks before his birthday

— he makes you your morning tea you catch a wiff of it like you usually do

— and then all of a sudden he’s yelling at you for shoving the cup in his hands that tea was hot and you’re clutching the bathroom door and throwing up on the floor

— you’re pissed cause you didn’t make it and now you’re sick so you can’t go into work

— you just ‘huuuugh’ and move to the toilet as you hear your husband make a comment and move to clean it up

— eventually you feel his fingers combing your hair as you throw up your dinner which you’re pissed cause he made a good ass dinner last night

— “Did you get fucking food poisoning or something?”

— you just reply with a caveman like grunt and he snorts

— “Come on. I’ve got to get ready for work so let me get you fucking situated.”

— so while he’s out you make your way up to get some medicine and schedule a doctors appointment

— and so a couple days goes by and at this point you’re just puking left and right

— now you’ve got a bucket next to you full of puke every five minutes and you just feel ewk

— “I remeber why I married you.”

— “Katsuki if you don’t shut your mouth—“

— eventually your trudge into the doctors office and you get a shock

— “Your pregnant, Mrs. Bakugou. Congratulations.”

— “Oh. Oh okay.”

— It finally hit you in the car and you just

— “OH MY FUCKING GOD IM PREGNANT—“

— you can’t wait to tell Katsuki but then you remember watching those videos

— and as your walking into the house you realize his birthday is in a two weeks

— so you could give it to him as a birthday surprise

— so immediately you start looking for cute ideas to do

— none of them seem to work until one popped up and you just ‘yes’

— so you’re calling all his friends his family and telling them to just all come and help plan this thing (you don’t tell them your pregnant you want that to be a surprise)

— you are so excited and can barely keep yourself from telling him

— he suspects something is up but your a woman he could have hurt your feelings and not told him wow that sounded sexist dont attack me pls

— he’s learned not to dwell too much when you say “nothing it’s fine”

— but anyways the big day comes up and you guys are in a panic because

— the balloons needed to be blown up

— the streamers aren’t staying up

— the cake hasn’t arrived yet

— everything is just a mess

— you just stare at the mess of your apartment in annoyance and anger and frustration and then you just let it all out

— and everyone’s kind of just shocked because your a tough girl you don’t usually cry

— but now your just curled into a ball and you sound like a four year old

— your crying gets only worse when the keys jiggle and in comes your husband

— he kinda just takes in the mess behind him and then realizes someone is crying so he just looks around and sees it’s you

— hes immediately concerned and crouches down to you and you just cry harder

— “What the hell happened?”

— “This! This—all of this! Today just went so wrong!”

— “Hey, we can still fix this shit up—“

— “No, no we can’t! This was supposed to be special we had all your presents and we were supposed to have a cake and we were supposed to say surprise when you came in—“

— “Surprise...” Someone mumbles and you just start sniffing and curl into him

— “It wasn’t supposed to go like this I was going to surprise you and tell you I’m pregnant but everything just turned out so—uuughh.”

— by now your just red faced and tear streaked and a sobbing mess

— but his hearing kinda stopped after you said pregnant

— You, y/n are pregnant

— “Y-Your...w-what—“

— you look up to meet his eyes “I was going to surprise you and tell you that I’m pregnant but now it’s out there so,” you just wave your hands around “yeah. I’m fucking pregnant. Happy 24th Birthday.”

— he just stares and so does everyone else lmfao and you just pull your knees to your chest and hide your face

— it’s silent for a while and you hear shuffling and a door open and look up

— it’s just you and him now

— “H-How long—“

— “Two months, but I found out a few weeks ago. It was supposed to be a surprise—“

— “Hey hey hey,” he starts trying to calm you down. He takes your face into his sweaty hands and kisses you “it’s...it’s fine...it’s alright...this is a better birthday gift anyways.”

— you sniff “I wanted to surprise you.”

— “Our kid is a big enough fucking birthday gift anyways.”

— you choke on a laugh and hug him, mumbling a soft “I love you.”

— he wraps his arms around you too and whispers a soft “I love you too...”

— “...and I love our baby as well.”

[spacefaegoddess]

The Lightning Thief - Cut Tracks

Listen up.

Camp Half Blood

- okay let me preface this by saying that for some reason this song won’t download so I’m going off the itunes preview

- but wow this song screams Camp Half Blood

- starts with something about how you know you’re at camp if there’s fire or a flood like big mood guys

- “Camp Half-Blood, where only half of us survive! Camp Half-Blood, be glad you’re still alive!” GUYS THIS IS TOO REAL

- it reminds me of that one post comparing CHB and CJ like “yeah you can go to college and live in New Rome at Camp Jupiter so its pretty nice” “WELCOME TO CAMP HALF BLOOD, YOULL DIE WITHIN THE MONTH”

- “this is why no one watches the orientation film” Mr. D never change please, also if that’s a new kid’s orientation to CHB then maybe Mr. D is saving them from intense trauma

Pick a Side 

- I think there was a video of this somewhere, maybe from that live concert where they performed all the song from the show, but man I’m so happy they put this into a final form

- Luke: “we don’t know who stole the bolt” oh sweet baby liar

- Clarisse being ready to fight everyone is fantastic

- “Percy couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag” man I love it when they put book references in there, and even though I’m pretty sure Reyna says it I still love that it’s Clarisse’s line

-”Can’t we just pick flowers and make friendship bracelets” oh Silena no

- Silena: “My mom doesn’t believe in war” Clarisse: “oh yeah? then why does she keep texting my dad?” Luke: “WHOA” this is the content I signed up for

- Luke saying that he hopes Percy completes his quest so that the demigods don’t have to fight a war like.... idk how to feel about this. Is he lying? Does he actually hope that his friends won’t have to fight? Man

- Also Luke telling Silena that they don’t have to fight the gods’ battles like that’s Luke’s entire motivation in one line

- Clarisse and Silena belting “we gotta know just where your loyalties lie” while Luke sings “we don’t have to choose”. I know that the girls are singing it at each other but the fact that Luke is between them and he’s the one who isn’t loyal to the gods or to camp is magnificent. And again Luke saying they don’t have to choose the gods because he’s already chosen against them

- “prissy Percy’s gonna lost his Poseidon adventure!” CLARISSE GIRL

- “well whoever says love is worthless, I’ll pulverize them!” wow Clarisse is already rubbing off on Silena

-I want to know what Luke sings after “It’s their fight” while Clarisse and Silena sing “We’ll make our parents proud, make our voices loud” cause this is a really great moment for Luke’s motives to shine through

- Luke silently singing “I would never help my father” in the background

- All three singing “We’ve got a choice to make, can’t run and hide - you better pick a side” at the same time yet it means something different for all of them. Also it’s Luke finally choosing his side cause I think that’s the first time he sings “pick a side” in the song

- And that harmony at the end? DAM

Try

- okay so like way before the musical was even a thing, there was a video of this song being sung by three people who aren’t in the show, but god it was heartrenching. It’s a little different from the finished product but like Pick a Side, I’m so glad they included this song because it’s so powerful

- the song beginning and ending the same way UGH I LOVE CALLBACKS

- Percy and Annabeth both singing “I already know it, I’ll probably blow it, but I’m going there anyway” THESE KIDS ARE SO STRONG

- this song is so great because as a whole, the musical is kinda upbeat and generally happy except for like Tree on the Hill and kinda Good Kid, but this one shows the main three’s insecurities about the whole adventure. It throws your mind in a whole different direction

- “I may fail you, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t try” I mean come on

- They’re kids. They’re lost and scared and don’t really know what they’re doing, yet they keep pressing on because of each other. They feel like they will fail, but they can all look each other in the eye and say “you know what? at least we have each other and that’s worth it enough for me”

- that small part in the beginning with Percy and Annabeth singing together makes me want a Percabeth duet so bad

- Grover singing “wash my hands of past mistakes” this boy just wants to prove himself so much and Tree on the Hill give me so many feels and just UGH GROVER I LOVE YOU

- Annabeth going from “prove to the gods that I belong” to “I won’t be rejected” is freaking GROWTH

- “He must be protected” GROVER PLEASE

- That three part harmony tho

- “Fight til we’re all in the clear, look my fear in the eye!” do I need to repeat that these kids are so amazingly strong? Because they are

- “The weight of the world’s on my shoulders, like Atlas it’s crushing me down” sick Greek mythology reference bro

- Also during that live concert video I mentioned earlier, they play a cut Annabeth song (which is sadly not here) but it had the Atlas motif too and ugh it gives me all the feels

- okay so the line “we’re not brave, we’re not strong, we’re not soldiers” is a whole thing in itself but it goes so well with the next line

- I wish they had kept the next line the same as the original because it was “but my heart is a drum, and damn does it pound” but now its “my heart’s just a drum and damn does it pound”. I feel like the first one just has something more. Like I might not be brave or strong but I have the heart to get through this

- also in that original video, after the previous thing, Percy sings “I may fail you, I may fail you. If I fail, this will be our last goodbye.” WHY DIDNT THEY KEEP THAT

- “I’m not leaving your side til we find what matters” Annabeth MY GIRL

- “I’m not leaving your side til we’re back home” GROVER

- “I’m not leaving your side til you’re remembered” PERCABETH SHIPPERS HOW WE FEELING TONIGHT

- This trio man. Nothing will ever compare to them

- The fact that the lyrics change from “I may fail you” to “I can’t fail you”

- That last line where they all sing part of the number because they’re in this together now and you literally cannot separate them

- this song is the best and you can fight me on that

In the Same Boat

- or as I like to call it “Grover deals with Percabeth fighting like second graders for five minutes and forty nine seconds”

- this entire song is just a roast fest and Grover suffering

- “wow maybe your mom should’ve totally chilled instead of making monsters that get us all killed” Percy you savage

- Grover’s happy little “ask meeee” he’s so cute

- “I’d like to wrap my hands around that half-blood’s throat” wow guys

- “I don’t need to heed a talking goat” WOW GUYS

- Grover’s goat noises throughout the song

- “why run from monsters when we can rideeee” Grover baby I love you

- the lyrics change depending on what vehicle they’re in

- “with Anna-BLEH” “and Seaweed Brain” guys just kiss already

- Annabeth insulting Percy about his Rocky Mountains comment and Grover just going “wow that is soooo beautiful” 

- this song is just the original “Drive” and I’m not complaining

- Percy and Grover both yelling “SWEET” while Annabeth suffers

- Percy telling Annabeth she can hike instead of ride the motorcycle

- Percy’s sass when he says “oh, I’m sure that’s irrelevant” gods Chris McCarrell is the Percy we always wanted

- “Athena give me strength so I don’t kill him” Annabeth honey, if anything your mom is gonna strike him down for you

- ANNABETH HAVING HER OWN “DREAM”

- “it’s messed up, but he’s kinda cute” Annabeth you have no idea how relatable you truly are

- “And my head is always stronger than my heart” awwwwwww

- “If only he would say something that was remotely smart” when I tell you I cackled for like five mintues its the truth

- Followed immediately by Percy saying “I got it! The map was upside down” and Annabeth just screaming IS A WHOLE BIG MOOD

- When did Charon turn from a disco diva into a 60 year old smoker

- Annabeth calling Percy sexist like yeah girl call him out

- “They’ll kill each other, or they’ll kiss” likely both, Grover

- “If we’re lucky they’ll end up in an abyss” GROVER NO

- that Mark of Athena reference caught me so off guard, my jaw hit the floor

- Grover happily singing over a Percabeth shouting match

- also I wish I could clearly hear what those two are saying

- idk what’s so funny about Percy saying “perspective” in a awe-filled voice but it killed me

- Grover yelling at them to sing the song because reconciliation

- uhhh Jorrel’s voice??? he makes such a great Grover let me tell you

The Wittlest Minotaur

- this was also in that concert they did

- Kristin Stokes is a gift to this world, that is all

[garbagegrimoire]

podcast notes week 1

Here are the notes I had going into the podcast recording for week 1. 

There are some spoilers in here & all of the doodle/synopsis posts have not yet dropped but the episode is recorded & here we gooooo...

Train to Busan

Starting out strong with a zombley deert (to speak in cursed rickyisms).

Giving his kid some yuppie bullshit talk & almost gets them clobbered in traffic, great dad.

Damn that escalated quickly. Why did it take so long for the first lady to turn but the others are like instantaneous?

The shots, effects, & choreography in this movie are crazy!

The grandma has lucid moments before changing which seems more than what the passengers got. & she used them to break hearts.

Ohhh he's a “fund manager,” ofc he's a dick.

Watching a zombie movie during a pandemic hits different.

I like that the bad ass in this movie is a soon to be dad with a dad bod & he's also a boomer who doesn't know how to change his ringtone.

Okay, they’re officially fit daddy & dad bod.

Okay legit tears at dad bod sacrificing himself even though I knew it was coming.

LOL young capitalist bastard fighting old capitalist bastard

This is capitalism & I hate it. OFC the motherfucker willing to screw over everyone else even if he doesn't need to prevails nearly to the end.

We need a zombie killing axe... Oh wait, nevermind, a shoe is good too.

Oh wow, that shit is poignant. The most ruthless capitalist of the group having a mama moment before he changes.

I'm sitting here yelling, get his nards, fit daddy! Do the nuts still have any effect?

Oh shit, fit daddy is infected. Human bites are gross.

This sucks, I hate it. :(

OH FUCK WHY DO THEY MAKE IT WORSE OMG!

& worse.

I didn't want to cry this much, not fair.

Re-Animator

Ooh, my German 101 skills are tingling.

Chaos nerd is everything in this scene. You wondrous ball of absolute cheese.

The security guard saying "Nobody wants in & ain't nobody getting out" is the Chekov's gun of this movie.

Fuckin’ nerd talk. Do either of you even lift? Why don't you duke this out in a tables, ladders, & chairs match?

I don't feel great about that transition between her playfully saying "no" & them full plowing. Greeeeeassy.

I'm with the cat on this one — scratch him!

"The world's last living puritan." LOL, come to eastern Washington tho.

How in the world is this lady's creep radar going off w nerdboy but not with the creepy old man trying to bang her?

They did a few things really well with this cat thing. Because usually I could not DEAL with violence against a pet. First the dead cat doesn't look anywhere near realistic, nonetheless once it's reanimated. Also, there's no like huge emotional connection between the character & the cat because the only experience the viewer has with it prior to it dying is it scratching his back after he's done banging, which I mean, solid choice there kitty.

"Because it's maaaad?" Best line in this mf movie.

I like how quick Halsey turns on nerdboy who he was stoked on like two days later. All because he insulted the creepy old man?

"Here's your meatball!" Writers were A+ obv.

"I know you're all by yourself now." Ew no. Again, she reacts to something other than the creepy old guy trying to bang her. PLEASE REACT, maybe punch him in the face or move to a different state without notifying anyone.

I’m dying, it looks like he's dribbling cherry applesauce out of his mouth.

This is the corniest, dumbest break up scene I've ever watched.

So once they're lobotomized they have like a mind link with the old guy head? Alright...?

Okay so we've arrive. This scene is fucking pure unadulterated cringe & makes me feel like I need to take several showers & drink bleach.

"Get a job & a sideshow." This entire movie is this nerd & that's what I'm here for.

How is there this seemingly endless supply of this green ooze? Also this reminds me of TMNT.

LOL the murderous colon strikes.

I'm very confused on the rules of what stays alive & how. Like the hand is still twitching but the guy in the hallway is dead?

Nothing gore-wise has bothered me so far but the chest compression sound is gross.

This guy is the worst. If he loved her he'd let her die.

Plan 9 From Outer Space

"Future events such as these will affect you in the future." You don’t say, friend.

Hillabilly gravediggers saying "sorta spooky like" is the mood here.

The scream is so good. 

A conspiracy theorist manifesto delivered on a suburban patio made entirely out of wicker.

The walking dead in this movie are so much more chill than the last two, just saying. Like if you're going to kill me, fine, but be chill about it.

"The earth people who can think are so frightened by those who cannot — the dead." Truuuuuuu. Thinking sucks, bro.

The pillow talk is all kinds of weird.

Hey, I know you're worried too, but because you're a child that can't care for herself, make sure you lock the doors because that's something a feeble woman wouldn't remember to do.

"You are on the verge of destroying the entire universe." Ooof this hits different now.

Yeah, it's old timey & corny but there are some seriously artsy scenes in this. I love the glowing trees.

Vampira is aesthetic goals if: I was more feminine, if I gave a fuck, if anyone ever looked at me, lol.

If some big dead dude was coming for you why in the hell would you just stand there or sit there & scream? Like these are the easiest monsters to escape from, you all are so gd slow.

That's it, I'm dressing up as one of these aliens for Halloween. All I need is some black pants, a belt, & a shiny purple shirt.

LOL little green men. Shoot first, ask questions later. Get all the tropes in there buck-o.

I just realized the dude alien is called Eros & I'm laughing. Total heartthrob. "You're always right, Eros." Fucking yuuuck. Miss me with all of this.

Holy trigger happy.

Explode the actual particles of sunlight. LOL, OMG "STRONGER NATION THAN NOW." These fucking nationalist trashbags.

Yes, of course aliens are religious too. & the're sexists. OH MY GOD IM GOING TO THROW THE MONITOR OUT THE WINDOW STAHP!

This was so much. I mean it's the old humans are dumb, violent animals & need to be gently led or annihilated. Okay, that can be true. But the aliens here needed to FOAD too.

Dead Birds

Is Mark Boone Jr in everything & will he die early? (yes)

Very aesthetic theme

Bank manager's whiskers are on point. 

The fuck? Oooh racist, niiiiice. I hate everyone all the time.

Yup this is how bank robbers would behave, wanting to kill of members of the gang to get a bigger share.

Gross, just listening into their friends banging, being creepy.

Is it turning into a bear? (Ohhh, the footprints)

Okay one of these dudes actually has something like a conscience, good to know, still hate him.

54 minutes in & I'm getting real bored.

Good jump scare w the little girl.

Okay the lady in the barn was too much for me. Gore was too much.

"There are worse things than dying" Best line.

Okay first I was like "that's not vomit, it's too white" & then I realized she'd been in bed with her dude earlier & yelled "ew, is she puking cum?" at my computer because that's where my dumpster fire of a brain goes.

Poor horses :(

He just disappeared? TF?

Nah, I’m not feeling this.

[thegayagenda-forkids]

Dumbass Trio Ditch Day

AO3 Link

Jonah just knew he was in trouble when he opened the door this morning to a smiling Marty and T.J. He should have shut the door and run away, but they grabbed him. And dragged him into T.J.’s Jeep. “Guys, don’t we have to go to school?!” He protested from the backseat.

“School?” Marty looked back from shotgun. “Never heard of her.”

“Marty!”

“No, but in all seriousness,” T.J. said, looking at Jonah through the rear view mirror. “It’s senior ditch day. We’re ditching.”

“So there’s classes for everyone but seniors?”

“Oh no, technically there’s classes for seniors,” T.J. said. “But we don’t have to go. It’s our school sanctioned day of teenage rebellion before we’re no longer teenagers.”

“And I had to be kidnapped for this?”

“More fun that way,” Marty smiled. He could give The Joker a run for his money with that smile.

“Why am I friends with you two?” Jonah groaned, throwing his head back. “Where are we even going?”

“The beach.”

“You mean the beach that’s three and a half hours away while I’m sitting here in my pajamas?” Jonah crossed his arms. “I’m not skinny dipping and we’re not going to a nude beach.”

“Come on, give us some credit,” Marty said. “We stopped by target and bought you board shorts, a T-shirt, and flip flops.” He pointed to the bag and Jonah looked through it.

“FEDERAL BIKINI INSPECTOR?! If anyone sees me wearing this I’ll never hear the end of this.” They stopped at a red light and both boys in the front seat unzipped their hoodies and showed off their shirts. They had the same shirts but they had defaced it with a sharpie, Marty crossing out the word “Federal” and adding the word “Former,” and T.J. crossed out “Bikini” for “Board Shorts.”

“Matching shirts, altered for our sexualities,” T.J. smiled.

“And I get the gross sexist one?”

“You’re the only cishet male here, so yes,” Marty said. “Unless you want the sharpie to replace “Federal” with “Feminist?”’

“You think I can survive another encounter with Andi and Buffy, and even to a lesser degree, Cyrus, unless I do that?”

“Fair enough,” Marty tossed the sharpie back and Jonah got to work. “And we’re actually gonna drive for three and a half hours?”

“Actually, we’re gonna try and get there in two and fourth five…” T.J. smiled and gripped the steering wheel.

“Oh fuck that! Do that and I’ll call Cyrus!”

“You wouldn’t!”

“Try me!”

“No, I’m saying you wouldn’t because I’ve got dirt on you too Beck,” T.J. said.

“Like what?”

“Like the fact that it’s your fault we’re banned from Wal*Mart?” T.J. said.

“Or why we can’t go into the botanical section at Home Depot?” Marty continued.

“You two were very willing participants in our Lost Target Employee prank and our Plant Band.”

“That may be, but you were still the mastermind,” T.J. said. “And I bet Cyrus would love to know why the assistant manager chased the two of you out of the Wal*Mart when he wanted to buy some art supplies for Andi’s birthday.”

“We went to Michaels instead. Much better quality anyways,” he mumbled but sat back, knowing he had nowhere to go and no way to protest as T.J. started weaving wildly between cars. “But if we get pulled over, I’m telling the cops you kidnapped me.”

“Fine by me,” T.J. said. “We won’t get pulled over.”

____________

“Explain again why we had to fill our car with every sour cream and onion potato chip bag we could find?” Jonah said, looking at the multitude of bags in the backseat with him. They stopped at a pit stop on the highway and all he did was leave them alone for two minutes while he went to the bathroom.

“Because they’re the superior potato chip,” T.J. said, eating from a bag Marty was holding out for him. Marty meanwhile was fishing chips out of a Pringles can.

“But all of them?”

“Because we wanted to, and it’s a great snack for the time driving to the beach and the time driving back.”

Jonah sighed and gave in, opening a bag and eating from it. “You know, the three of us may be the Dumbass Trio, but you two are the Chaos Twins.”

“Thanks Jonah, we take that in stride,” Marty said proudly.

———-

“You know what I still don’t get?” Jonah asked both of them while playing Words with Friends with Marty. “Why aren’t you two with your significant others?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why don’t you do Ditch Day with Cyrus and Buffy?”

“Because then you’d be alone since Andi’s SAVA schedule works completely differently,” T.J. said. “And you haven’t exactly dated anyone in the past three years. The closest you’ve gotten to is the ASL lessons Libby still gives you so that you can communicate with her.”

“Libby and I are just friends,” Jonah said. “Nowhere near girlfriend level. We just don’t work. I just don’t work with girls.”

“Well, we know you’re not gay,” T.J. said said. “Or we would have sniffed that out by now.”

Jonah laughed. “Nah, I’m not gay. I like girls, it’s the keeping up with a relationship I suck at.”

“Which is a shame for all parties,” he joked. “Buffy is the only person attracted to men at our school who never had a crush on you.”

“Wait...T.J., you had a crush on me?”

“Yeah, in our younger baseball days,” he said. “Though, since I was a kid and I didn’t know I was gay...wow...I was really an asshole before Cyrus, huh?”

“Major dick,” Jonah agreed.

“If I got paid a penny for every time Buffy complained about you to me, I’d be a millionaire in the eighth grade.”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” T.J. said. “At least we’re friends now.”

“You’re an epic friend dude, nothing to worry about.”

_______________

“Okay...that was so cringe-y!” Marty was laughing. They finally arrived at the beach and they rented out body boards from a little stand.

“Yeah, and I was trying to save you,” Jonah laughed. T.J. was trying to hide his face. The girl at the shack, while doing the mandatory demonstration of how to use the equipment, kept feeling up T.J. and pressing her chest against him as she flirted, and Jonah tried flirting with her to get her attention off of his friend. It didn’t work.

“I’m going to get a tattoo of a rainbow flag all over my body,” he groaned. “And then I’m gonna tattoo the words “I’m gay!” on my forehead.”

“Yeah, then you could spare every girl at school the heartbreak of them flirting with you, hoping to nab you since you don’t have a girlfriend, and then crush their spirits when they see you kiss Cyrus,” Marty laughed.

“Yeah, all these girls always tell me that I’m “too hot to be gay.” Like, what does that even mean? Only ugly people should be gay?”

“They just want you for themselves,” Marty said. “Come on, I’ll buy you a snowcone you can drown your sorrows in.”

“Do I have to be sad to get a snowcone?” Jonah asked.

“No, you can be happy...and happily buy it for yourself.”

_________________________

“Okay, didn’t the pervy shack girl tell us explicitly not to do this?” T.J. asked raising an eyebrow.

“You sound like your boyfriend,” Marty said. “It’s cute, but come on!” He and Jonah were carefully balancing and trying to stand up. “We just wanna surf.”

“Then we can get surfboards.”

“Surfboards are more expensive,” Jonah said. “Besides, what could happen?”

“You two want me to go full Goodman? Because I know that there are at least ten things that can go horribly, horribly wrong.”

“Come on Kippen!” Marty groaned. “Come surf with us!”

“I’ll body surf,” T.J. said. “Besides, you don’t start off on the oncoming wave on your feet!” T.J. said. “You’re supposed to face away from the wave, paddle away from it for a bit, and only then do you stand up.”

“Why can’t you start on your feet?” Jonah asked, the a small wave came and toppled the two boys into the water while T.J. stayed hugging his board.

“And that’s why.”

“Shut up T.J.!” Marty said, spitting water as he and Jonah went back to hugging his board with his whole body.

“You guys are idiots.”

“We’re all proud idiots!” Marty said.

“Can’t argue with that,” Jonah said, coughing while he got back on a lying down position on the board. “Buffy told me that we’re not allowed to be bored.”

“Why?” Marty asked, immediately getting back on his feet until T.J. shook the board to get him to fall off again.

“That’s why. She said when we’re bored, the stupidest shit happens.”

“Cyrus started keeping a list named“why we call them the dumbass trio,”” T.J. said. “I’ve seen the list...the shopping cart races were one of the first things. Us attempting to carry the biggest stuffed animal Build a Bear had, which was ridiculously big, was another.”

“Buffy uses the bear as a chair,” Marty said with a proud smile. “She does her homework on it.”

“And the mountain of chocolates she gave you?”

His face fell. “I tried to make a giant candy bar.”

“What happened?” Jonah asked.

“I burned the chocolate...and had to buy three more pans for the kitchen.”

T.J. looked at Jonah. “And this is why he’s Head Dumbass.”

_____________

They moved on to play beach volleyball, which was Marty vs T.J. with Jonah officiating and then playing winner.

“Hey!” They turned around and saw a group of what looked like frat guys. “You’re on our court!”

They looked around and saw several nets set up on empty courts and they only had 8 people, enough for one team. “Um...we were here first so…” T.J. said.

“Yeah, but it’s ours.”

“It’s a public beach dude,” Jonah said. “Why not just go to one of the other courts?”

“Because everyone knows this belongs to Psy Kappa Alphas!” They all whooped after the name and the trio rolled their eyes.

“Dude, we’re mid-game here,” T.J. said. “Why not just-oh!” T.J. doubled over when he got a volleyball straight to the crotch. Marty looked down. For the first time, he was grateful that he was born with the wrong parts.

“Come on bro,” Marty came under the net and walked towards them. “It’s just a court and we wanted to play.” One of them then grabbed him by the shirt of his wetsuit and brought him up close to his face.

“It’s the principle of the thing,” he said. “Wait...are you wearing a bra under this?” His eyes widened. “You’re a fucking tranny?!”

Marty swiftly kneed him in the balls and grabbed his emotional support morons and the three started running with eight frat boys chasing them. They sprinted while they gathered their stuff, not bothering to put on their shirts or anything as they haphazardly carrried all their things and T.J. unlocked the car, all of them piling in with Jonah in shotgun this time and Marty in the backseat with all of their stuff as T.J. started peeling away. A few frat guys chased them for another two or three blocks before they turned back to the beach and the three boys looked at each other and started howling with laughter.

“Well...I guess that’s a sign that we should start heading home,” Jonah said as Marty kneeled on the seat and started putting the things from the backseat into the trunk. T.J. nodded and set the gps to start going home.

_______________

“Okay, say what you will,” T.J. said, putting his shirt back on after they parked in Jonah’s driveway. “But that was a lot of fun.”

“I will not disagree,” Jonah said. “But I still would have liked, you know, not being kidnapped?”

“Hey! There you guys are!” They heard Buffy behind them and turned around smiling to see Buffy and Cyrus. “Where were you guys all day?”

“We were at the beach,” Marty said, his T-shirt over his wetsuit and Buffy raised an eyebrow as she read it, and Cyrus looked at T.J.’s.

“Federal Board Shorts Inspector?”

“We wanted funny matching shirts,” he said, kissing Cyrus’s cheek and frowned. “Why are you wearing a backpack?

“Because it carries my books nicely?” Cyrus frowned.

“No, I mean...why are you wearing it today? It’s senior ditch day.”

“Um…” he and Buffy exchanged a glance. “No it isn’t.”

Jonah and Marty froze. “What?”

“It’s not senior ditch day today,” Buffy said. “It’s next week.”

Jonah fixed his eyes on T.J. and Marty. “Next week?!” T.J. and Marty dropped their beach bags and started running and Jonah chased after them. “IT WAS NEXT WEEK YOU IDIOTS!”

Buffy and Cyrus started laughing and then looked into the Jeep. “Why are there twenty bags of sour cream and onion potato chips?”

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#15 Little Miss Stoneybrook...and Dawn: Chapter 3

In this chapter, Claudia shocks everyone by reading the newspaper.

Next meeting of the BSC! Mimi answers the door and offers Dawn a cup of tea because she's so sweet but Dawn says no thank you and goes up to see Claudia.

Claudia's in her room, we sadly have no outfit description. She's *gasp* reading a newspaper, and Dawn says “she does not enjoy reading.” Ouch. Claudia can never catch a break from the “lol dumbass” comments her friends always toss in. Besides, she's reading the Crimewatch section, so it isn't like she's reading the stock market report.

She tells Dawn “mot mush” is in the crime section. No, she isn't misspelling her dialogue now; she's got her mouth full of licorice. Who else hates when Ann Martin/the ghostwriters do 'mouth full of food' dialogue? Claudia tells Dawn on Birch Street, a woman was attacked by giant butterflies demanding Twinkies. Dawn shrieks, I guess because she's shocked even the butterflies in CT are into junk food. But Claudia tells her she made it up and closes the newspaper because I guess looking at words on paper makes her brain hurt.

And what do you know? On the front page is an article about the upcoming Little Miss Stoneybrook beauty pageant! How convenient! Claudia complains that beauty pageants are sexist but this brief shining moment is cut short when Claudia can't think of the word “stereotype” and describes it as, “That's...that's...it's like...what's that word that sounds like a tape deck? Stereo-something.” Oh, Claudia. So close.

Dawn admits that when she was two, Sharon entered her picture in a beautiful baby contest (AS A JOKE!!!!! as Dawn keeps saying) and, surprise, Dawn won. She does say that Sharon has horror stories about mothers and kids who take the pageant circuit seriously and make it their career. And....we have foreshadowing!

They show the article to Kristy and Mary Anne when they arrive. Kristy thinks pageants are dumb and sexist. Mary Anne, however, thinks that some little girls would like to be onstage in a fancy dress. Kristy then changes her tune and says pageants can be sexist...but fun!

For once, Mallory and Jessi take the role as mature voices of reason, though the others don't see it that way, of course. Mallory says it's a disgrace and hopes that Claire and Margo don't hear about it because they'd want to enter. Wow! More foreshadowing! Jessi says pageants are sexist and wonders why you never see boys competing for Little Mr. America or something like that. “At least, not very often.” Well, that kills that argument. 

Regardless, the two junior officers are showing some sense, but the older girls don't see the point. “Would that really be so bad?” asks Dawn. She agrees with Kristy that pageants are sexist...but totally fun you guys! I wonder what Stacey's opinion would have been. Jessi says she’s thankful Becca would never do it because she has awful stage fright and fainted during a school play last year. Which everyone has a good laugh over because they're nice like that.

Meeting starts, and Kristy goes into bitch mode asking Claudia how her special appointment with Charlotte went. Shut up, Kristy. My god, you're jealous Claudia got asked to watch her best friend's favorite charge? Please, if you got asked for by a family, you'd be rubbing it in everyone's faces. And way to go for making your friend feel uncomfortable again.

Poor Claudia says it went fine and reiterates that it wasn't such a big deal that Dr. Johanssen asked for her, all while everyone else is giving her dirty looks. Why the hell are you all jealous that Charlotte Johanssen asked for Stacey's best friend because she misses Stacey?!? Are you all that insecure? Bitches.

And what does Dawn do? Prepares to mention that she saved two kids from a fire in California because she wants to show she's as good enough as Claudia! But before she can, St. Mary Anne reminds everyone how she rescued Jenny Prezzioso and got her on an ambulance!!! Kristy tells Mary Anne to shut up, they've heard that story too much, then proceeds to tell everyone that she caught Alan Gray when they thought he was Phantom Phone Caller, goddammit!!!!!! Claudia tells her to shut up, she helped out. Then Mary Anne shouts for everyone to stop, all while Mallory and Jessi are looking at each other like, “What the hell did we get ourselves into?” God, this is the Babysitters Club, not the Brag about Shit we did Club!

Phone rings and Dawn picks up. It's Mrs. Pike, who says she has a special job and she wants to offer it to Dawn. Uh oh. Dawn mentally makes plans to duck so she isn't hit by anything when Kristy's head explodes after she breaks the news to everyone. And you all see where this is going.

Claire and Margo found out about the pageant (of course) and want to be in it. However, Dee is involved in some big volunteer project at the library (aren't they always?) and she’s asking Dawn because she lives nearby. But what about Mallory? Well, she's Mallory. No one likes her, including her parents who are so mean! No, she knows how Mallory feels about the pageant, so she's letting her off the hook. Also, Dee doesn't really approve of the pageant, but sees how excited Claire and Margo are and doesn't see why they shouldn't participate. “I just hope they won't be too disappointed if they lose...” Way to have faith there, Dee.

So Dawn thinks...she wants the job. Does she piss everyone else off by taking it or does she want to show everyone she can be as good a sitter as Claudia and get revenge by upstaging Kristy? Well, this is Dawn we're talking about, so she accepts.

She hangs up and tells everyone. Jessi rolls her eyes, Claudia and Mary Anne look “thoughtful” (whatever that means) and Kristy looks like she's about to rip all of Dawn's hair out then claw her in the face. Mallory laments that her baby sisters are going to be contaminated and brainwashed and how she'll just die if she becomes the sister of Little Miss Stoneybrook. Mallory, it's a beauty pageant. And not even a big one at that.

[purpleswans1]

A New Meaning for Deku

Technically for Villain Month, but doesn’t have much of a focus on the villains so I won’t be tagging it as such. It’s still part of my Villain!Izuku AU though.

Read also on FF and AO3.

This wasn’t how Ochaco Uraraka’s life was supposed to go. Until a few months ago she was on track to her ideal life: get into a good hero school, graduate and become a pro, then earn enough money to make her parents’ lives easier.

That future disappeared the day her father died.

His company was conducting repairs on a large l skyscraper when a local villain fight broke out. A new up-and-coming hero called Mount Lady resolved the issue, but during the fight hit one of the I-beams, causing it to fall and crush not only Ochaco’s father, but five of his employees as well. That was bad enough already, but the hero commision refused to accept responsibility for the accident and spun a story that placed the blame on the company's shoulders, so the insurance company got out of paying the life insurance for dad or the other employees. Since Ochaco’s family were the owners of the company and legally required to pay reparations to the families of the dead employees, that saddled her grieving mother with a large amount of debt.

Ochaco was freaking out about the debt when a kind stranger contacted her. He said he sympathized with her situation and was willing to pay off the debt, on the condition that Ochaco came to work for him. In hindsight, Ochaco should have realized it was too good to be true, but she was desperate. It wasn’t until after they’d struck a deal that she realized he didn’t want her waiting tables or getting coffee. He’d forced her to drop out of school and has now told her to meet with his allies in a seedy part of town.

When Ochaco reached the address her mysterious benefactor directed her too, she found a surprisingly elegant bar open during the day.

A blue-haired boy sitting at the bar looked up when she came in. “Hey! What are you doing here?”

Ochaco swallowed. “Um… I’m supposed to be meeting someone here. You wouldn’t happen to know anybody going by the name All For One?”

The blue-haired boy who’d spoken looked confused. “What do you need with Sensei?”

“Ah, Miss Uraraka. You were able to make it,” a familiar voice said.

“Sir?” Uraraka asked, looking around for the man she'd come to meet. She’d never met him in person, only speaking to him through the phone or email, so she had no idea what he looked like.

“The master isn’t present,” a misty bartender explained. “He prefers to provide instructions through the TV over there.”

“Uraraka, these will be your new coworkers. Tomura, try to make your new team member comfortable. You’ll be working together for a while."

The blue-haired boy -- the one Uraraka assumed was called Tomura -- turned on his bar stool to give her a critical look. “You don’t look like much. Are you sure you’re cut out for this kind of thing?”

Uraraka looked down at her feet. “I don’t know, but I need the money for my family.”

“Hm” Tomura started scratching his neck. “Hey Izuku! Get out here and meet the new girl.”

There was a series of thumps from somewhere upstairs and a plain-looking boy with green hair walked in through the back door. He couldn’t be much older than Uraraka, who was supposed to be in her last year of middle school, and seeing someone else her age made Uraraka relax a little.

“Tomura, who is….” The boy noticed Uraraka. “Oh, you’re… um…” his cheeks darkened. “You’re a girl.”

“Nice observation skills there, Izuku,” Tomura said.

The green-haired boy -- Izuku -- was quick to defend himself. “N-No it’s nothing like that! I just assumed that you’d be a boy when Sensei told us you’d be coming, though I realize now that was somewhat sexist of me. Half the people in the world are girls after all, but I’ve just been spending all my time with Tomura and Kurogiri and Sensei for the past few years so I’m not used to interacting with girls and as such don’t know what I’m supposed to do in this situation…”

“Oi, you’re mumbling again,” Tomura broke into Izuku’s long-winded explanation.

“Eh? Oh, I’m so sorry!” he rubbed the back of his head, looking sheepish. “This isn’t a great first impression…”

“No, it’s fine.” Uraraka walked up to him. “My name is Ochako Uraraka. And your name is Izuku, right?”

Izuku’s face lit up. “That’s right! Izuku Midoriya. I’ll also go by ‘Analyst,’ but that’s more of a codename. This guy,” Izuku pointed to the blue-haired guy, “is Tomura Shigaraki. He and I are practically brothers, so don’t be surprised if I accidentally call him Tomura-nii. That man over there,” he pointed to the misty bartender, “is Kurogiri. He’s the person to talk to if you ever need something or want to talk to Sensei.”

“Indeed,” Kurogiri said. “By the way Ms. Uraraka, the master mentioned that you might need a place to stay for the foreseeable future.”

“Oh! Well, yes, that would be appreciated,” Uraraka turned to speak to Kurogiri. “My mom’s house is too far away to commute, and I haven’t had the chance to go apartment hunting…”

“Don’t worry about it!” Izuku interrupted. “We’ve got several extra rooms upstairs. It’s okay if she stays here, right? Kurogiri? Tomura?”

“That would be foe the best,” Kurogiri said. “You and Tomura have to behave, now that there’s a lady in the house.”

Shigaraki gave Uraraka a hard look. “I guess she can stay.”

“Great!” Izuku was practically jumping with enthusiasm. “Come on Uraraka, I’ll show you where you’ll be staying.” He quickly turned and led her to the back door.

“Okay,” Uraraka started to follow Izuku but stopped. “By the way, what is this place? What kind of work do we do?”

Tomura broke into hysterical laughter. “You mean you came here without knowing that?”

Uraraka’s eyes migrated to the floor. He’s right, I should have figured out what I was doing before I came here.

Tomura spread his arms. “We are the League of Villains. We use our quirks and talents to destroy heroes!”

It finally occurred to Uraraka that she was in way over her head.

---------

There was a light knock on her door. “Uraraka? Do you mind if I come in?”

“Don’t care,” Uraraka said, her voice muffled by the pillow she had over her head.

The door opened and a mop of green hair peeked in. “Are you alright?”

Uraraka moved the pillow down so she could glare at him. “What do you think?”

Izuku at least has the self-awareness to look uncomfortable. “Want to talk about it?”

“My dad is dead, I had to drop out of school, and I just found out I sold my soul to a villain organization to get my family out of debt. Does that sound like alright to you?”

Izuku winced, “Yikes. Okay, I didn’t know about all that.” He walked into the room and closed the door behind him. “You really don’t want Tomura hearing you complain like that. He wouldn’t react well.”

Urarak blinked. “What? Is he sensitive?”

“Sort of? Well, not the way you’re probably thinking…” Izuku scratched his cheek nervously. “Tomura… is ferociously loyal to All For One. He hates it when anyone speaks out against Sensei. Well, he hates a lot of things, but you’ll figure out what topics to avoid after a while."

“Sounds like you have some experience with that.”

Izuku shifted uncomfortably. “There’s… plenty of good times to excuse the bad. I’d rather not talk about it.”

Uraraka looked at Izuku. Really looked. She’d thought he was plain-looking when they first met and that was still true, but now she began to notice little things that told big stories. How his posture was slouched, making him appear smaller than he really was. How his freckles were fading from lack of sunlight. How his skin was paler than it should be. How his clothes were faded and old, worn down in some places. How he looked just… exhausted.

Maybe I’m not the only person who didn’t choose to be here, Uraraka wondered.

“Izuku, why did you join the League of Villains?”

“Wha-um…” Izuku started looking around the room, anywhere but Uraraka. He was rubbing his fingers together, likely a nervous habit.

“You… you don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to,” Uraraka eventually conceded. She’d have plenty of time to get the story out of him.

Izuku looked at her again, but now his face was covered in guilt. “I… I wanted Sensei to give me a quirk.”

“What?”

Izuku opened his mouth and the words came out in a wave, like he couldn’t stop it once he got started. “I was born quirkless. I still don’t have a quirk. When I was a kid all my friends got really powerful quirks and I didn’t, so I was devastated. They bullied me, calling me ‘useless, quirkless, Deku’ and I couldn’t stand it, so when All For One offered to give me a quirk, I jumped at the chance and am still determined to get it by proving to him I deserve one…”

“Whoa! Whoa! Hold up!” Uraraka interrupted. “So, All For One is able to give people quirks?”

“Oh, yes. It’s he quirk. He can take people’s quirks, use them for himself, or give them to other people. I’ve seen him do it for some low-key lackeys like Moonfish.”

“Wow. That’s…” Terrifying. “Interesting.”

Izuku gave her a look like he knew what she meant to say. “Well, it’s the truth. I’m sure that if I help Tomura and All For One with the League of Villains he’ll eventually give me a quirk.”

Something about Izuku’s explanation didn’t sound quite right. Uraraka was sure she wasn’t getting the whole story. “If you’re able to help the League of Villains, doesn’t that prove you don’t need a quirk.”

Izuku’s face fell. “I don’t want to be quirkless Deku anymore.”

“Deku?”

“It’s another way to pronounce the last part of my name. It… well, apparently it means I'm useless.”

Uraraka frowned. “Actually, I don’t think so. It sounds like a hero name to me.”

Izuku looked at her in shock. “A hero name?”

“Yeah! Like, ‘you can do it!’ It would be really inspiring. If I had the chance to become a hero, I would have called myself ‘Uravity’ but Deku actually sounds way cooler.”

Izuku continued staring at her in shock for several seconds. When he finally turned away, it was to stand up and walk to the door. “I… I should probably leave you alone. Kurogiri will get on my case if I finds out I was alone with you and the door was closed.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t.”

Izuku gave her a small smile. “If you want to talk some more, my room is right across the hall. Tomura’s is at the end of the hallway and Kurogiri prefers to sleep in the basement.”

Uraraka nodded. “Thanks, Izuku. I’ll probably come to you if something comes up.”

Izuku turned away. “You know, if you mean what you said about the meaning of Deku, I wouldn't if you called me that. Only you, though.”

Uraraka smiled. “Alright, Deku.”

Maybe there’s a silver lining here.

[seashellrosekitty]

The Last Dance | Chapter Two

Chapter Title: The Other Barnes Boy

Chapter One - The Dinner

Author’s Note: Here’s my entry to @spxderbarnes Em’s 21st Birthday Writing Challenge! I’m so excited because this is my first Bucky fic (or Marvel, rather)! I hope I get my characterization right because I love Bucky and I just love this story. Hope you enjoy this, Em! Happy Birthday, darling!

Plot: 1940s post-war era. Steve and Bucky are brothers and are teenagers, and they never served in the army because they were too young to join during the war. You find out you’re pregnant with Steve’s baby. Both Steve’s and your parents arrange for you and Steve to get married, but Steve declines. Ultimately, his father offers his other son, James (later known as Bucky), to marry you in Steve’s place.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader, Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader (eventually)

Warnings: 18+ Content! Teenage pregnancy, arranged marriage, religious theme, sexist theme, fluff, smut (of course), angst, Steve being a cold jerk, characters coming from the comics (i.e. Bucky’s family), MCU characters appearing in this era (i.e. Bruce is your younger brother and some others who will appear in the next chapters).

Word count: 1.3k. It’s short for now.

Sally’s Diner, Red House, New York. Winter 1942.

The whole town was in the holiday mood. The Barnes family had finally just moved in after constantly being in and out of town for three years. The Barnes brothers, Steve and James decided to hangout at Sally’s Diner, hoping to see some old friends. 13-year old James was seated at the high stool, talking to Sally, a redhead waitress, and owner of the diner.

“What’s yours, sweetie?” She was met with a bright smile and gleaming blue eyes.

“Do you have some hot chocolate, Ma’am?” James inquired when a young girl about his age sat beside him.

“Could you make that two, Sally? Could I have mine with-”

“Marshmallows? Gotcha, sugar,” Sally interrupted the young girl. Her smile was shining with excitement for the sweet treat. She looked at James and shyly said, “I love marshmallows.”

“Me too,” inserted the older Barnes boy, Steve. The girl gleefully giggled at the tall boy who sat beside him. James looked dumbfounded and glared at his brother. He eyed him. His thoughts said, “You hate marshmallows.”

Sally leaned in front of him.

“Would you like some marshmallows too, sweetie?”

“I didn’t know you had marshmallows.” James loved those things. His mother used to sneak him some marshmallows in his hot chocolate during Christmas morning. Truly, a treat for the boy who willingly plowed their sidewalk after a heavy snowfall. “Are you gonna charge me extra for it, Ma’am?”

“Nah, for you, it’s on the house,” Sally offered with a wink. James looked at his brother and the girl already talking about going to the school’s winter formal together. He was getting grumpy but he didn’t want to ruin such a nice winter day.

“On second thought, I don’t want any marshmallows.”

Red House, New York. 1946.

James Buchanan Barnes was...in a word, a rebel. Often timid and quiet, anyone rarely ever knew what was on his mind. Especially not his father, whose focus was directed more to the eldest Barnes boy, Steve. He was the type that often got associated with the town’s lesser promising kids. When his father wanted him to be interested in chess when he was eight, he wanted to play baseball. Steve got into the game of chess, among other things that made Steve the most popular boy in school.

James, however, was a mama’s boy. The ladies in their family didn’t treat him like he was an outsider. But the one person’s approval that mattered to him the most was the one he couldn’t get. It was perhaps, ironic, how James became the young man he was. He badly wanted to feel loved by his father, but almost never did anything he wanted him to do. Perhaps, all he wanted was to be loved without needing to be much like his brother Steve.

That night in the Barnes residence after the brawl, James greeted his mother with a peck on the cheek. The sound of the motor of your father’s car began to fade away. “Is everything all right, Mama?” Winifred sighed, shaking his head. They both got inside the house and James noticed his papa in the dining table. His forehead resting on his palm.

“Hey, pop.”

“Why weren’t you home for dinner?”

“I was out.” George slammed his hand on the table, making the plates and utensils jump and clink.

“Of course you were out!  You just got here! I’m asking you where the hell you’ve been!” James didn’t answer. “You were out with your slacker friends again, weren’t you?” James mocked him, flipping the toothpick inside his mouth - being completely unfazed by the threatening tone of his papa. “Answer me, boy!”

“Fine, yes I was out with my friends. Oh, sorry, I mean my slacker friends. There, ya happy?” George finally stood in front of his boy, sizing him up. James, on the other hand, had no idea where his mockery and disrespect were getting him into. George grabbed the toothpick out of James’ mouth, wounding the inside of his lips.

“Ow! Fuck!” The boy grunted, anger erupting in his face, then a slap was thrown into his face, the assault aimed at his lips. His head turned sideways at the blow.

“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, you little punk?” Still defiant to submit, his eyes glared at his father.

“Bucky…” his mother softly called him and rubbed his back. “Apologize to your father.”

“I’m sorry I cussed, papa.” His apology came out so easily, implying how often this happened but he never bothered doing something about it. George accepted his apology without question in order to get what he wants.

“You’re gonna marry Y/N.”

“WHAT?” He yapped, turning to his mother who seemed to already know what’s going on. “Pop, did you hear just what you said? You’re asking me to marry Steve’s girlfriend? The girl who went out of our house crying just now?!” He pointed his thumb backward, gesturing their driveway where your father’s car was parked a minute ago. “Is that why you specifically wanted me to be at dinner tonight?!”

“No. But since your brother chickened out the last minute, there’s nothing we could do, son.”

“Bullshit!”

“Language!”

“Why do I got to do this? Why can’t Steve go? It’s his girlfriend!”

“She’s pregnant, son.”

“Wow.” James sarcastically chuckled as he put his hands on his waist and started pacing in the hallway. He rubbed his face with the whole of his palm with frustration. No wonder she was crying. She’s pregnant and Steve’s a fucking coward. Some coward for a golden boy, He thought.

“You must really hate me, pop, don’t you? You’re sending me to marry a girl I barely know, who, by the way, is my brother’s girlfriend! Just because she’s fucking pregnant!”

“James! What did I tell you about cursing in front of your mother?!”

“George...let the boy be. You just put him in a very difficult situation.”

“You’re doing this ‘cause you hate me, don’t you? Don’t you, Pop?” His jaws were glued together saying this. “I’m just James, your other son. The expendable one. It’s all right if my dreams are out the window just ‘cause your first-born gotta go to freakin’ Oxford and make his dreams come true! What a father you are.”

“James Buchanan Barnes! I won’t tolerate any more of this tone you’re having with me.”

“But it’s not fair, Papa! The baby’s not my responsibility! It’s Steve’s! Whatever happened to taking responsibility for our actions, huh, pop?” His question made his father look down. He turned to the stairs to yell at his big brother. “Hey, Steve! You better get your chicken-ass down here and settle this with Pa!”

James’ body turned around and once he faced his father, he was met with another open hand on his face. “One more line of disrespect, son, I swear, I’ll send you to military school.” George’s tone was now calm but more compelling.

James was never one to do something he doesn’t want. All of his interests - mechanic work, carpentry, and music, never once coincided with his father, forever marking him as the black sheep of the family. Steve, on the other hand, was effortlessly intelligent and easily got interested in what his father wanted for him. Always obedient, except this time, ironically, when his obedience was needed the most. With favoritism being the only obvious reason, George let his eldest son off the hook.

In his whole life, this predicament irked James the most. Getting married at seventeen is not something to take lightly. Hell, what was he thinking? Getting pregnant at eighteen and having to carry the baby alone is something no young woman should do. What would he be doing being Y/N’s husband? How would that work out between the two of them?

What about Steve’s baby? Was he supposed to take care of it? Make himself the baby’s daddy? Is all of that better than the other thing? His thoughts drifted back to his father’s last two words: military school. Anywhere else’s better than here, James thought to himself. It struck him an idea.

“If I marry her...What’s in it for me?”

To be continued in:

Chapter Three: The Deal

Tag lists

For y’all who are tagged in Everything, please lemme know if you wanna be removed from this fic. Perhaps there are themes you’re not comfortable with or something. Kindly message me. :)

@bojabee @jurrasicpork @thejourneyofabrokenheart @sav625 @seninjakitey @randomparanoid

The Last Dance:

@vehement-photgraphy @duns-fxr-hands @veg-gay-tarian @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan  @girlwith100names @theonelittleone @spidey-babe-parker @hiddles-rose @allithewriter @depressedcoffeebean @nerd-without-a-cause @jaamesbbarnes

[artemissarrows]

Sweet Combat: Gender-bending, delightful, and queer-adjacent, but not actually queer 🥊🥊🥊

So aside from BTS, another K-pop/C-pop celebrity I love is Luhan, formerly of K-pop group EXO. (If you want to learn about why he left, I recommend the Contract Disputes episode of the podcast “Ask Me About Kpop,” I love digging into those details and such!) He’s now an independent artist/actor/general celebrity promoting in China.

Luhan stars alongside his real-life girlfriend Guan Xiaotong in Sweet Combat, a sweet rom-com centered around a school that trains women in MMA. Luhan’s character is the first male to attend and he ends up being trained by three seniors—including Guan who is the best fighter at the school--as a first-year. I really loved it and totally miss it now that I’ve binged through all of the episodes. Some mild spoilers, but nothing related to the last few episodes, and also this is a rom-com, it’s pretty easy to decipher who will end up with who after the first few episodes ^_^

This show has such a good heart, and celebrates gender diversity.

By and large, this show comes down on the right side of things: people should help each other, bullying is bad, manipulating people is bad, and celebrates chosen family. Luhan’s character is poor, has to take care of his two small siblings though he’s still only college-age himself, and has to work 2 jobs to support them while he’s in school. His friends all pitch in to help make sure he’s OK and his kids are OK when he has MMA practice and cook him food. It’s super sweet! We also see one character who starts off bullying Luhan begin to change for the better and understand that bullying people to hide your own insecurities isn’t the way to be truly strong.

It also does generally deviate from strict male/female gender norms, and appropriately punish characters who don’t approve of people crossing gender norms. That being said, it does all of those things within a decidedly heterosexual context, where actual queer relationships are seen as outside the bounds of “normal” society (ie, we don’t see any). If this were a real girls’ fighting school, I can guarantee you that there would be a LOT of queers there.

Fang Yu, the lead female character, was forced to be a boy before her brother was born by her grandfather. Grandpa’s also a sexist jerkwad, and we all see it.

Fang Yu comes from a wealthy family, and her parents died when she was very young (absent parents is definitely a theme here). Her family owns a big corporation, and her grandfather is extremely concerned with succession. To that end, he forced Fang Yu to wear boy’s clothes and to be a boy before her brother was born—and then made her switch back once her younger brother came into the family (Fang Zhou is one of my fave characters in the series!) When she came back to school as a girl, all of the other kids in school called her a monster, which deeply scarred her. She also recalls looking at girls’ clothes longingly and not being able to wear them.

This whole situation is super interesting to me, although I wish I knew more about the cultural context under which it operates. Grandpa is clearly so concerned with who’s going to take over the company, and it must be a boy—how could a girl be as good at business???? We really sympathize with Fang Yu and her desire to prove herself through her MMA. She’s better than most of the boys, and she knows it. It’s also an interesting twist on the enforcement of gender norms. Instead of forcing her to be ultra-girly or something like that, Grandpa forced her to be a boy—thereby show that he knows she can be good at business, but only through the performance of masculinity. Wow, dude’s got some issues.

There’s another rich kid and business partner of the Fang family who tries to woo Fang Yu, and he was one of the kids who called her a monster as a child, and still thinks she is one (he literally said so). I have to wonder if that’s connected to her prowess in MMA, which is less common as a pursuit for girls, stereotypically.

Luhan (uh, Ming Tian, I guess) exudes positive, non-heirarchical masculinity.

Luhan’s character is a really positive version of what masculinity can be, in strong juxtaposition to Fang Yu’s grandfather, who uses his power to abuse and bully others (bullying’s a strong theme here, which is cute). Luhan and his two little siblings’ parents are gone, but he is so tender toward the little ones and takes care of them so well. 

He’s perfectly content for three senior women to coach him in MMA. He’s also just a kind person who doesn’t want to hurt anyone, sees the best in others, and is extremely smart though people sometimes underestimate him. He turns into the senior women’s coaches as the show goes on, and excels in both his analytical approach to improving their skills, as well as that balance of supporting and pushing.

And he always considers Fang Yu his equal (if not his superior in martial arts!) and treats her as an equal co-partner in their relationship. He’s perfectly willing for his feelings to be squished on her behalf and I sometimes wished he would be more honest about his desires—although this *is* a rom-com so if everyone were honest about their feelings we’d have no more show. Anyway.

I find it so telling that folks were criticizing him for being too feminine after seeing the show trailers. Absolutely not, he’s an upstanding dude…..even if he occasionally wears his own Luhan Studio merch on the show, I can forgive him.

Fang Yu’s best friend is butch AF and she’s soooooo hot

Fang Yu’s best friend is Cheng Yanan, the head of the boxing club at their university and all-around badass. She’s also butch as hell, and everyone’s 100% accepting of it in the show. Literally no one says anything. This makes me incredibly happy! 

She’s not gay, though. There are straight butch women for sure—and her love interest is incredibly sweet and another character I really like—but that’s maybe a bit unrealistic. But there is a scene where a girl at her school writes her a love note after seeing her on a run which is played for laughs….but seriously, Yanan is the shit.

Ugh, stop.

Queer adjacent thing 1: absent parents and chosen families

This isn’t an exclusively queer things, but felt like it was getting close. There’s a distinct lack of two-parent families in this show—we actually don’t see any on screen at least. Everyone has at least one parent who is absent or deceased. Instead, the friends all rely on each other for support, childcare, and general camaraderie. It’s also a college age thing I suppose, but also feels like a queer thing. Queer young people learn to rely on one another when our families don’t accept us—or even if they do, we recognize and support members of our community.

Queer adjacent thing 2: Sun Hao buys a suit from a gay store

Sun Hao, the second male student in the MMA school after Luhan, accidentally buys a suit from a gay kink store—it’s very flamboyant and played for laughs. I’m a bit sad about that, but so it goes. Gender diversity is apparently OK but sexual diversity isn’t? Or also, it’s fine when women are butch because masculinity is better, but when men act femme they’re stepping down in the world so why would they do that. Sigh.

Hello, gay panic!

 Non-queer thing I also loved: Sun Hao and his mom

Sun Hao’s mom runs a noodle stall, and she and he have a really wonderful and close relationship—they talk all the time and support one another. It’s extra-cute and I love it.

My only gripes: anime-styling in live-action & copious Adidas product placement

This show is apparently based on a manhwa or Korean comic, and unfortunately it shows sometimes and not in a good way. The director can never decide whether to make the MMA realistic or whether its magical realism MMA/normal life + magic, and it switches back and forth between things that look very naturalistic and weird-looking SFX. There are also some characters who are a little too stereotypically anime-y (looking at you, Song Xiaomi!) But since these moments were occasional and not all the time, I could live with it.

Also they must have signed something that says that Luhan always has to wear something with the Adidas logo on it….because he literally always does. Okay, we get it.

But those are small potatoes. This show is great, go watch it for its cuteness, great character relationships, and enjoy that it’s reasonably progressive on gender stuff.

[tumblunni]

What do you guys think about the names Dustin and Darcy for my protagonists in Let's Go?

Cos i really wanted to play the co op mode thing by myself, just so i can pretend this role in the plot is filled by two siblings and have a bit of fun roleplaying that. But i dunno yet how the co-op works and whether you'd be able to customize the avatar of the second player or if its just the default trainer? Or can you only play co-op if you have two separate games? Im planning to buy the other version anyway once i get more money, so it could be fun to play my first version with sibling one and then the second playthru is sibling two's turn to shine!

Oh and the whole reason i wanted to do this is cos i wanna try out the customization features to make some ocs now that there's no competitive online stuff unless you pay a subscription fee (LOL NO THANKS). Like..i always felt like i HAD to make my character me in xy/sumo/usum, otherwise its like lying online? But of course i cant actually make me because theres no nonbinary option or even remotely ambiguous outfits for either gender. And you cant have wild hair colours while i dye my hair 24/7 irl lol. Its silly cos like 95% of the gym leaders and other characters ingame have anime hair colours yet the player has to be normal? So yeah i cpuldnt really enjoy making this innacurate defanged version of myself yet i didnt feel like i was allowed to just make up a new character either. Closest i could do was give myself white hair like my old trainersona when i was 12, lol. I mean i guess thats my 'real hair colour' underneath the dye right now, if you think about it that way?

OH GOD PIKACHU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT HOLY FUCK IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS BUT I WAS WATCHING THE IGN REVIEW AND THEY SHOWED PIKA BOWLER HAT PLEASE GO GOOGLE THAT VIDEO JUST FOR THAT 1 SECOND OF NEW FOOTAGE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CLASSY BOYE

okay where was i

Yeah! I think sibling trainers could be a good and unique way to handle a rival! Like having them be your sibling already establishes that rivalry. But it can be a soft and nice rivalry! I wanna go with that fun version rather than the full on angry exaggerated sibling rivalries you often see in kids media. Like i know that some people legit dont get on with their siblings and some people can even have a very gary esque full on rivalry thats sorta 'love to hate' or like..tsundere pretending you hate them. But personally i never had experience with that, i can never relate to those 'tfw u hate ur sibling and theyre always an asshole but lolll u love them anyway' posts. I only got to live with my little sister for a little while due to the catastrophe of abusive parenthood that was my childhood, and i lost contact with her forever when she was very young so i doubt she'd even remember me. *sigh* But like i don't think i only love her so much because i miss her! People say newborns and toddlers are the most bratty so like you'd think if i was gonna ever find her 'annoying' i would have done it back then. I was always just mega proud of her and whenever she'd be 'bratty' i'd be cheering her on and trying to protect her from mom. And when she'd try and pull pranks on me or practise play-fighting or whatever i was just like 'lol thats legit funny' and taking play-falls so she felt better about herself. Like we didnt have much power in that household so i felt like encouraging her pretending to be a wrestler would help her feel like she had some sort of control in some part of her life i guess? And just i wished i was allowed to roughhouse and run around and be all 'unladylike' and just enjoy BEING A KID when i was a kid, yknow? I always had legit fun being with her and legit enjoyed it and was legit proud and legit never annoyed. I just dont understand 'yeah she's annoying but i love her anyway'. I was only ever her rival as a play-rival to help encourage her to like.. Enjoy the things she enjoyed. Feel like someone else cared. I only ever acted like 'ha ha baby stuff yeah sure i hate hanging out with my sister" cos i thought i was SUPPOSED TO. I always felt so guilty doing it and so dissappointed cos id rather hang out with her than be a boring stereotypical teen tbh. I dunno, maybe this isnt typical for siblings and its just a sign of how badly we were raised? I was just real fuckin lonely and absolutely loved having a family member who loved me for the first time since my grandma died. Same reason i always used to act all 'i am too cool i totally am not soft for my lil sister' around my lil sister's dad. I really wanted him to love me too! I used to say swear words at him cos i thougjt he would thibk i was Cool And Adult?? I have soooo many cringe moments from that phase of my childhood. Man it hurts to think that i never actually did get to become that positive influence that protected my sister from my mum and let her know she was loved. Cos i was sent to live with my dad when she was like 5ish? And never saw her again and now im too scared to try and reach out to her again because 1: she probably doesnt even remember me, 2: theres a chance she believes my mum saying i was some horrible asshole who abandoned the family, 3: even bigger chance that contacting her could mean my mum finding me again and big fuckin risk of further abuse. Plus the awkwardness of introducing my trans self when she'd remember me as her sister and all. Sigh! All i can do is hope that her cool dad eventually got custody of her, and that he didnt turn out to be a secret bastard like when i met my own dad. He seemed good, but then again i was just a lil kid and my dad seemed good at first. Sighhhhhh...

SO UMM YEAH WOW I MADE MYSELF SAD

Anyway the point is that whenever i write siblings i'd rather write 100% unapologetic super loving love cos its wish fullfillment for me. This is also why in/cest shipping is a massive beserk button for me, good wholesome family relationships are REAL FUCKIN IMPORTANT and how DARE you corrupt that shit! Some people would fuckin KILL to have that wholesome family!!

Anyway lol thats why i'd like a Wholesome Rivalry for these sibling ocs! Like they challenge each other to contests along the way just for fun, and they react all 'wow my sis is the BEST' when you beat them, so hard feelings at all. And you dont JUST do rival stuff but also sometimes just hang out and have fun cos you missed each other. And if anyone threatens your sibling then THAT is the only time you see the Serious Sibling Power! Rival moments: ha ha lol bet ya cant beat me ooo im a scary villain LOL I CANT KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE HAHA! Giovanni punches your brother: *stony cold death glare from hell as tricksy prank sis turns into an unstoppable vengeance engine* Oh, but also the only other time they'd be serious is in their final battle together! Like most of the 'rivalry' is just competing to make the adventure fun and to help each other get stronger. But if sis/bro ever actually legit said they really want to fight to find out who's the best, and its like..important to help their self confidence, then i think bro/sis would respect that and go all out. Taking a fall and letting them win would be the most disrespectful thing of all! Oh, but i do think there would be one kind of battle like that during the story? Like in one of the more low stakes faux-rival fights the sibling actually does try and let you win, and the challenge is to try and lose against all odds. High stakes super failure battle!!! Imagine the evil team in the background like 'wtf' as these two run the most aggressively slow race of all time! XD

Oh and i kinda thought about different personalities for the two of them based on who you pick? Like i did like that aspect about brendan/may in RSE compared to other 'unpicked option becomes rival' characters in later games that didnt even have one personality let alone two. It just sucks that the personalities they decided to give them were 'female rival is super self concious and thinks youre better than her because youre a boy' and 'male rival is super ego and thinks he's better than you because he's a boy'. Boooo!

So instead of that the personalities i was thinking for these two would be less sexist lol. Male sibling Dustin is basically Wally so far? I need to develop him a bit more to make him a bit distinct, i mean its not like every single shy dude is identical. I'm thinking maybe mix him with all the wasted potential in Brendan? Like in the game they slightly hint at him having the ONE non stereotypical trait of liking cute teddy bears, and that made me think about how much better his whole plot would have been if it actually criticized his sexism and said that he only behaves that way cos he's overcompensating for being bullied for being 'feminine', yknow? And then in the manga they actually DO write him as super feminine, and even as a contest star who loves fashion and dressing up his pokemon! But then GAHHH they present it as some sort of fuckin 'character flaw', like he's shown to be selfish and superficial because of it. And the backstory is that him and the female protagonist used to be 'normal' until a traumatic event. Brendan was a Natural Fighting Prodigy until he saved his female friend from a wild pokemon and was so traumatized that he never wanted to fight again, while she wanted to learn to fight so she'd never need to be protected again. But this is not only presented as Wrong Ways To Be Gender but also like.. Fighting their natural instinct which still comes through?? Like male protag hasnt fought in YEARS yet whenever he's forced to fight he's just magically better at it than female protag who's been practising all these years to become his equal. Ha ha silly girl you can never achieve that! All you get is this patronizing 'well if you just tryyyyy girly things im sure you'll like it' plot and then you get rescued by him in the end because OF COURSE you do. Sigh! I cant believe they made me hate that pairing even more than the games did! So yeah i dont really wanna write Dustin as a jerkass who's secretly got synpathetic motives of internalized homophobia/sexism, cos i feel thats a plot very specific to my perceptuons of Brendan and id basically just have to make Dustin a clone of him and he wouldnt be able to shine on his own merits. Instead i'm just thinking of writing him as a 100% sensitive soul, and he still faces predjudice for not being that bigoted idea of an 'ideal man' but really the fact he doesnt bow down to their demands proves that he's the bravest person here.

And then I'm thinking maybe the female sibling Darcy is the older one and is a bit "gary ish"? Like eitjer way you still have a friendly and loving siblingness, but she's a bit more of a sass who is tsundere about admitting she loves her bro. But i dont think she's the cold or grumpy sort of tsundere, more like a trickstery tomboy? Bombastic loki jock sis! She can only be a bit abrasive with her bro cos she wants to teach him to be tough even when she's not there to protect him. But sometimes she can mess it up and make him feel like he has to change his personality in order to be tough, rather than letting him know she supports him in being "unmasculine" and just wants to help him find the confidence to stand up to people who bully him for it. Like she feels like she is 'weaker' than him in the sense that she worries too much about what people will think if she expresses her real emotions, yknow? Like theyre both suffering from toxic masculinity! He's suffering from the standard form where men who are too 'soft' are beaten down into that mould. Ans she's suffering from the problem where 'masculine' girls feel like they have to be '100% masculine' in order to be allowed to be themselves at all. Like back when i was a kid and before i came out as trans i always used to try and pretend to like sports ans like..cliche macho shit where you Cant Admit You Care About Your Friends and also i wasnt allowed to like ANY feminine things at all. I had to either follow the stereotype of femininity entirely or follow the opposite stereotype, i wasnt allowed to just reject stereotypes and like what i actually like. So yeah me realizing i wasnt really a girl has led to me embracing more 'girly' things than back when i thought i was one! So i think Darcy would have a similar arc but like..the cis equivelant? Just finds people who arent such judgmental pricks and stops having to conform to either of those stereotypes in order to keep fake friends who dont really give a shit about her. She can have a plot about both forced feminine and masculine stereotypes being equally limiting, rather than that shitty 'being masculine is a prison uwu every woman will be happier embracing her love of makeup' shit. That dominant narrative just made me feel like i was somehow wrong about myself whenever i didnt like 100% Of Sports All The Time, i must be somehow girly if i liked even ONE girly thing yet i needed hundreds of proofs if i wanted to be masculine. And like i wasnt just allowed to be neither! I wasnt allowed to like parts of both! I wasnt allowed to BE GODDAMN TRANS!!! So yeah i dunno if i'd go whole hog and make this character a trans man or a nonbinary person tho? I think she's just actually a cis girl who happens to be sporty and brash and likes a lot of 'masculine' fashion and hobbies. And she's just been made to feel self concious about it, as if she cant possibly REALLY be that unless she likes Every Single Boy Thing and wins at Every Single Challenge. Does anyone else remember that shit too? The girls have to win Every sports game against the boys in order to be 'one of the boys' but if you lose even one of them it somehow proves that you're inferior. Even though the boys lost 50 billion games to you and that doesnt prove theyre inferior! Like man she has sooooo many 'gary rivals' in her school life, thats why she loves going on this adventure with a kind brother rival who actually respects her! So her resolution would just be her staying the same but being more confident about it and saying fuk u to those fake friends. Same as her brother's plot, just they both face different specifics to the way this sexism affects them, yknow?

Oh but yeah when i did finally learn about LGBT stuff and realize i was trans it was Big Amazing cos even in the rare stories about Its Okay To Be Yourself it still left me feeling weirdly empty when the girl decides that yes she does wanna be a girl in the end. So i get that these plots might come off as queerbaiting if i write them badly? I need to make sure to make it clear that these characters 100% want to be seen as this gender and its just other people being fuckfaces and trying to define what their gender has to mean. I think maybe i'll try and mitigate this potential misunderstanding by adding different sorts of lgbt content. And, well, also cos i just want lgbt content in all of my stories because i am lgbt, of course! I'm 100% sure that Darcy is gay, and i think also maybe possibly Dustin is trans? Like, his plot is about being mocked for being a 'feminine' boy, but its also even more personal for him because he's a trans boy and he feels like he needs to change his personality in order to pass/he isnt really real because his personality doesnt fit the stereotypical image of a man. Like if you'd looked at the two of them back when they were identical twins, you probably would have expected Darcy to end up being trans if you were the sort of person who believes those basic ass stereotypes about 'boys who play with barbies and girls who play with trucks'. Or i mean maybe its the other way around and Darcy is a trans girl who still has a 'masculine' personality according to stereotypes? Or even both of them are trans and both face being told that they arent real because they dont fit the perfect stereotype of a trans person according to cis perceptions? Or maybe i'm overcomplicating things with all of this and it'd just muddy the message i guess. I might just keep it to them both being cis but also both of them like girls. And i can always apply my trans and other LGBT headcanons to other characters along their adventure.

Anyway LOL im rambling too much!

[hangjie]

secrets. [ richie tozier ]

summary: richie and reader (who is the older twin of eddie) is in a secret relationship, but her family gets in the way

warnings: swearing (from me and the imagine lmao) and some sexist comments. plus, soft richie moments huhu

word count: 1687

author's note: the gif of richie relates to me on a personal level idk lmao. idk what the intro is lmao my mind went blank. i use the pet name "babygirl" all the time bc that's what my friends and family call me lmao (i'm short as fuck, even though i'm the craziest and the loudest in my group HAHAHAHA). there isn't much eddie x sister!reader interaction huhu sorryyy

(y/f/n) - your first name

(y/s/n) - your second name (if you have one)

─── • ° *｡✧ ───

'be in a secretive relationship,' they said. 'it will be fun,' they said.

that's what most people said about secret relationships and now that i'm in one, that phrase is absolute bullshit.

being in a secret relationship is hard as fuck and not to mention, my boyfriend is in my group of friends. you may think that it's not a big deal, but is a big deal if your twin brother is also in that group and if your family is always telling you off that he's not right for you and that he's a bad influence.

after hanging out at the quarry with my friends, we all bid each other goodbye and then some went their separate ways. before eddie and i left, richie pulled me close to him and kissed me on the cheek when everyone was focusing their attention elsewhere.

"see you soon, babygirl," he whispers, making me smile and smack him on the arm. he winces and rubs his arm. "what was that for?" i shrug. "nothing. i just wanted to hit on you." i winked at him and he rolls his eyes, chuckling.

before the others could turn to our direction, i quickly kiss him on the cheek and wave him goodbye, him waving back. i approach eddie and he bids the others one last goodbye before we get on our bikes and cycle back home.

when we were finally home, we leave our bikes on the front lawn and enter the house, immediately seeing mom on the couch, watching tv. "hey mom," we greet her, putting my bag on the ground. "hi babies," she greets back, but doesn't look at us because her eyes were glued to the tv. eddie and i approach mom, kissing her on the cheek and then the landline rings.

i walk to the landline before eddie could, making him huff in annoyance. "come on, sis!" i laugh and stick my tongue out at him. "rotten egg!" he crosses his arms and rolls his eyes at me. "i fucking swear to god, you're like a little kid."

"you're just jealous that i'm the older twin!"

eddie throws his hands up in annoyance. "by five minutes!" i put up a 'l' with my hands and eddie stutters, frustratedly. "you're a loser too!" i then flip him off and he groans, walking away to his room.

the landline continues to ring and i pick it up, greeting the caller with a "hello, kaspbrak household."

"wow. i never heard you be so formal and proper," i hear richie say on the other line and i can imagine the smirk on his face. "don't worry, it's fucking hot." i chuckle.

"hey richie. what's up?"

"nothing much. i just wanted to check if you got home safe." i smile and my heart melts at how caring and sweet richie is, despite his 'bad boy' and 'trashmouth' demeanor. "well, you can hear my voice loud and clear. so, yeah, i'm fine."

"good. i don't want you to be hurt," he says in a soft and calming voice. when he realizes, he clears his throat then goes back to normal. "anyways, you up for the arcade? i'm gonna fucking die of boredom if i stay at home." i groan. "i just got home and we saw each other 5 minutes ago!"

"that's why i called if you got home safely." i cross my arms and huff in annoyance. "you're such an asshole."

"please, (y/n)!" he pleaded. "i'll treat you to some ice cream, if you go with me." i sigh and thought about it for a while.

arcade + ice cream + alone time with your boyfriend? sounds like a deal.

i groan out loud and say, "fine. make it two rounds of ice cream though." i hear richie cheer, making me laugh. "see you in 5 minutes, babygirl." i bid him goodbye and a 'see you' before hanging up.

i grab my bag from the ground and was about to go out, before i hear my mom call for me from the living room. i approach mom, who is still watching tv on the couch and ask her what's wrong. "where are you going?" she asks. "i'm going to the arcade, mom."

"who is with you?"

"no one. it's just me," i lied. "(y/n), who is with you?" mom asks again, but in a much more stern voice. "i told you! it's just me!"

"(y/n), i know that you're lying!" she grabs my arm and pulls me closer to her with a glare on her face. "let me ask you again. who is with you?" i sigh in defeat and look at the ground, whispering, "richie."

"i knew it." she lets go of me harshly, making me stumble on my feet a bit. "so what if i'm hanging out with richie?! he's my best friend!"

"he's not a good boy, (y/n). you know that. plus, he's a boy and you're a girl." she then turns her attention back to the tv. "boys and girls shouldn't be allowed to hang out with each other."

i freeze as my mouth hangs open in shock. i could feel my blood boiling and my irritation grow larger. i tried to hold back my frustration and the temptations to talk back to my mom, but before i knew it, i snapped at her.

"okay, that's enough." i grab the remote control of the tv from mom's hands and turned the tv off. mom gasps in shock and yells angrily, "(y/n) kaspbrak, turn the tv back on right now!" i throw the remote away and cross my arms across my chest.

before mom could say anything next, i angrily say, "first of all, richie is not a bad influence and he's my best friend. second, i am not a slut, if that's what you're implying. third, people can hang out with whoever they want because they have the right to. plus, eddie is a boy and you let me hang out with him!”

“that’s because he’s your brother.”

“who also hangs out with beverly! what makes me hanging out with richie different from hanging out with eddie and the rest of the guys in our group?!” i huff, catching my breath. “just because i don’t have a stick up my ass and i’m not a ‘mommy’s girl’, like eddie, doesn’t mean that you have to treat me like shit.”

before she could say anything next, i turn away from her and adjust the strap of my bag on my shoulder.. “i’m going to the arcade with richie and that’ final.” i began walking away from mom as she calls for me and tries to hold me back.

i quickly dart for my bike and cycle away before mom could get me. i sigh then continued making my way to the arcade.

when i arrived at the arcade, i immediately spotted richie waiting for me beside our favorite game. when he spots me, he waves and was about to say something, but i grab a hold of him and without any hesitation, kissed him. he freezes, but eventually kisses me back, snaking his hands to my waist.

when we pull away, richie looks at me weirdly. “look, you and i both know that i enjoyed that kiss, but mind to tell me why the sudden kiss?” i sigh and open my arms out for a hug. richie coos and pulls me in a tight and comforting hug.

i pressed my head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat as he rubs my back. “it’s okay, (y/n). it’s okay. you’re okay.”

“just because i don’t kiss her ass, she has to make things harder than it is,” i say, my voice cracking.

richie pulls me away from him and places his hands on the sides of my face. “(y/n), believe me when i say this. you’re one of the most strongest people i’ve ever met and i know that you don’t believe that, but let me say this and i hope that you remember this everyday,”

richie takes a deep breath before confidently saying, “i love you.” i gasp. “i know that we’ve only been together for a couple of months and you don’t have to say it back but-”

“i love you too, richie.”

richie smiles widely then pecks my lips softly. “plus i want to finally show the world that you’re my hot ass girlfriend.”

“then it’s one down and the rest to go,” we hear someone say, making me and richie jump and pull away from each other. we turn to the direction of the voice to see my twin brother. out of all the people in the world, it had to be him.

i groaned. “what is it now?!” i snap, thinking that mom told eddie to go to the arcade to spy on me. “did mom tell you to go here?”

“yeah, but-”

“then tell her that i’m done dealing with her shit.”

“(y/n), i-”

“i’m sorry, eddie. i really am. i just-”

“for fuck’s sake, (y/n). listen to me!” eddie snaps, making me fall silent. “yes, mom did tell me to go here to spy on you and richie, but i’m not telling her shit.” i raise an eyebrow at him and he continues. “when i got here, i noticed that you and richie really care for each other and you both really care for each other. you both make each other happy and i can’t get in the way of your happiness.” eddie approaches me and pulls me in a tight hug. “you’re my sister, my twin and all i want for you is to be happy.”

i feel a tear run down my cheek and i squeeze eddie in my arms. “thank you,” i softly say, smiling..

when we pull away, eddie turns to richie and high fives him. “treat my sister right or else i’m going to beat the shit out of you.” he points a threatening finger at richie who laughs at his attempt to be tough. “you’ll beat me with what? with your fanny pack?” eddie flips him off and bids us goodbye before walking out of the arcade.

once eddie was out of sight, richie turns to me and bows his head down exaggeratedly whilst holding out his hand. “m’lady?” i chuckle and take his hand, approaching our favorite game, hand in hand.

MASTERLIST

[knightofbalance-13]

http://alexlayer.tumblr.com/post/176968058052/how-not-to-ever-ever-defend-jaune-part-3\

Considering this is targeted at one of my friends, consider this PERSONAL.

Today we exterminate @rainbowloliofjustice‘s reply as well as her apparent ingrained misogyny, taking everything into account, following @outcasts-redeemer’s argument’s deconstruction

So no matter what, if someone defends Jaune it’s sexism. Wow, I’ve seen some stupid forms of logic in my time but this is literally the strawman every right winger uses to describe someone like you. So uh, good job on that end just don’t stand near any open flames.

Hello! NB person here.

So you’re not a woman and therefore have no place talking about female issues? Good know! We can just go ahead with the assumption that, even if every single argument I make after this is wrong, you still don’t get to say anything.

It was more than twice, and it’s not the constant asking out that’s the problem, it’s the disregard and disrespect for the girl’s agency that makes him a douche.

Really? Because uh, this is the first I’m hearing of this from you. Before,Jaune  asking Weiss out multiple times was the issue.

So the issue you actually have has no corporeal form nor does it have any definition other than ‘negative against Jaune’. Great, how about you take it up with that wall over there?

Jaune actually called out Neptune on not caring about Weiss’ feelings, which is practically giving him a lecture and incredibly hypocritical of him considering his behavior towards him

So apparently a parent can’t lecture their kids on making mistakes they made, ignoring how people who made these mistakes would know the consequences of these mistakes and how to avoid them? Good to know you don’t understand a fundamental aspect of life.

I’m not here to deny that Weiss wasn’t the best of the best during Volume 1, but she’s actually shown development and evidence of moving past this. Yeah, she approached Pyrrha with her own interest in mind, but that was just once and it has never been repeated since. Not to mention Pyrrha was nowhere near as visible uncomfortable about any of this as Weiss was with Jaune shoving himself in between them, and at least Weiss was smart enough to pick up the hint and drop it.

Actually-

Pyrrha was being vsibly uncomfortable by her tone of voice and how she constantly tried getting away from Weiss. And since Weiss, just like Jaune, didn’t outright admit she was being wrong: shouldn’t she be considered just as bad as Jaune?

Or does this actually boil down to “Weiss have vagina so good and Jaune have penis so bad”?

P.S. Pyrrha was more comfortable talking to Jaune than Weiss. Or are women not allowed to choose who they talk to now?

Yes, Miss Chick, I’ve watched the show, and I stand by this statement. Pyrrha was made, from beginning to end, to complement Jaune’s arc, not to be a character of her own. And if you don’t see it, then… girlfriend, sister, gal pal, wake the fuck up! Not that I’m saying that you can’t like Pyrrha on her own right, but what can you even tell me about Pyrrha other than she’s kind, badass, smart, and dependable, mh? What are her hobbies? What are her dreams? What’s her background like? Do we even know anything about her family that might tell us anything about her? About how she grew up? Can you even tell me what’s her relationship like with her teammates and fellow classmates other than Jaune? ‘cause I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but outside of Ozpin’s circle during her would-be “arc” in Volume 3, Pyrrha is practically never allowed to interact one-on-one with characters that aren’t Jaune. Her conversation with Weiss in Volume 1? Interrupted by Jaune. Ren and Nora trying to cheer her up before her big fight in Volume 3? Interrupted by Jaune. Her apologizing to Ruby in V3 after killing Penny? Goes about two lines before Jaune steps in again to claim all of Pyrrha’s attention once more.

A. Sexist.

B. Also sexist implying she can’t see it due to her gender.

And C. You know, you mentioned Penny here....

So what is Penny’s hobbies?

What is Penny’s dreams?

What is Penny’s background like?

What is penny’s family like, outside of what she told Ruby?

How did Penny grow up?

Can you even tell me about a relationship Penny has outside of Ruby?

Trick questions:

You CAN’T answer them.

Because Penny is in the same fucking boat as PYRRHA. In fact, Penny has LESS of a character than Pyrrha because, guess what, She HAS no arc! She is entirely connected to Ruby!

So if you have such an issue with characters like this then surely, you would say something about Penny right? Unless, of course, you only have an issue with Jaune because Jaune has a penis and you have outright misandric tendencies.

Even her death has served nothing but Jaune’s development. We’ve never seen any characters mourn Pyrrha other than him. Not Ren and Nora, who were her teammates, not even Ruby, who saw her die first hand. Nobody outside of Jaune seems to even remember her most of the time (and yes, I know Ruby mentions her in one scene in Volume 5, but that’s about it), and even her remnants were melted down to improve Jaune’s equipment rather than being brought to Pyrrha’s family to be placed on her grave or something.

A. Ruby outright shows development because of Pyrrha at leats three times in the series.

But B.

Even her death has served nothing but Ruby’s development. We’ve never seen any characters mourn Penny other than him. Not Ironwood and Dr. Pollendina, who were her father figures, not even Pyrrha, who saw her die first hand. Nobody outside of Ruby seems to even remember her most of the time, and even her remnants were forgotten about because they couldn’t be used for Ruby instead of seeing her buried or something.

Notice how my paragraph is almost exactly like yours? That’s because no matter what argument you make for Pyrrha, I can make the EXACT same argument for Penny (or even better.) So unless you show an issue with Penny’s death 9which you don’t): Why should I take this as anything other than the ravening of an insane, biased asshole?

Again, I’m not saying you can’t like Pyrrha for what we’ve seen of her. I myself liked her as well, but in the sense that I really wish she had been her own character, that we could have actually gotten to know her and see what she was really like, rather than have her near entire screen-time revolve around Jaune. Stop for just a moment to think of what Pyrrha’s character would be like if Jaune wasn’t in the show, and you either come to the realization that she’d have no purpose, or realize about the endless possibilities there is to her character that the show never bothered to explore because the writers never saw her as anything but a complement to Jaune’s character. From day one, she was meant to die. She was made by design to be little but the Disposable Woman, and it shows.

Do I need to do the paragraph thing again?

Because here it[’s even more effective considering A. Pyrrha would be the exact same character whereas we’d never even SEE Penny wthout Ruby and B. Pyrrha died for her own reasons whereas Penny died basically to give RUby development.

So uh, once more:

Either stick your standards or showcase how your standards is just sexism.

Honestly, no, not really. I mean, I didn’t really meant to blame Jaune for those things. You’re right. Cinder is the one to blame here, for everyone that got hurt. I do believe, however, that Jaune’s behavior during that fight did more harm than good during the earlier half of the fight, and made so many mistakes that it makes you wonder if he’s really learned anything throughout the series, though really, the whole part here is not so much about issues with characters as it is with the writing. I mean, why would Cinder even target Weiss instead of Ruby, whom she holds a personal grudge against and was even more vulnerable than Weiss? This is what worries me, that it feels like the writers chose Weiss because, since Jaune used to crush on her, that would hurt him the most. It’s a writing decision placed solemnly with Jaune’s character in mind and no one else’s, which is a serious problem because it shows the writers keep prioritizing Jaune above most other characters, even the titular characters.

Or you know:

She’s also Ruby’s partner and her and Yang have been getting very close this season and thus choosing her would affect the most people?

And because hurting Ruby wouldn’t give her the same satisfaction as hurting Weiss.

And finally: bullshit. Ruby, Weiss, Blake, Yang, Oscar, Qrow, Raven, Hazel, Lionheart, Illa and Cinder all had more focus this entire Volume than Jaune. He Is literally one of the least focused on characters this entire Volume.

That’s fair, but even then, there’s been zero interaction between Jaune and Weiss since the reunion in Volume 5 (they practically didn’t acknowledge each other). In other words, there hasn’t yet been a development to their relationship, which I wouldn’t be exactly against. What I’m against is the writers using the whole “Jaune saving Weiss” as a shortcut to show a development in their relationship and thus completely avoiding having Jaune own up to what he did wrong in the past, as if suggesting Weiss was in the wrong (and no, she wasn’t. It’s completely within her right to reject someone she’s not interested in) and Jaune never did anything bad, which just isn’t true, despite what they want the viewer to believe. They themselves (the writers) need to own up to their shortcomings just like Jaune needs to.

A. WHAT DEVELOPMENT? Their relationship is EXACTLY THE SAME as before. Weiss doesn’t even ACKNOWLEDGE that Jaune saved her life. Your bitching about nothing!

B. Jaune kind of SAVED HER LIFE. N doubt she’s gonna act differently! that tends to change one’s view of a person!/

C. Jaune WAS suppose to be in the wrong! You just don’t want to see it because that would tear away one of your beating sticks.

And D. Why SHOULD the writers acknowledge jackshit when you adamantly REFUSE to? You bitch at my friend for being seixsdt then display almost as much sexism as Dudeblade and act like hypocrisy is so bad when you have done nothing BUT spout hypocrisy!

Like I said before, this much is right. Mind you, though, I only brought up Jaune failing to stop Cinder as Ozpin told him not because I really want to blame him there, but because @outcasts-redeemer actually dared blame Pyrrha’s death on Weiss for failing to save Pyrrha after Jaune asked her and Ruby to do just as much, which… I don’t need to tell you just how ridiculous that is, now do I?

... bullshit, you did want to blame him. Hell, your excuse here has no evidence to back it up so I’,m just gonna assume you willfully misinterpreted something.

If you wanna ignore the obvious fact that there’s clear issues with the way Jaune’s written, and the way near everyone gets written to accommodate things for his sake (the battle of Haven being by far the worst offender), then you do you, but I’m not. We were promised a show about four badass action girls, not about a boring, generic and stereotypical dude who’s just the most unoriginal archetype ever but has the world bend to his whim because the writing says so, and so long as they keep making these blunders, criticism will continue to show up.

Thing is:

Not only do only ONE issue here actually apply, but that issue applies to THE MAIN CHARACTER and you never say a word then.

Not just that, you act like Jaune took up the entire  battle of haven when at most, he took up half an episode. In a Volume where he made NO other significant appearances while the rets of the Volume focused on the main girls while you STILL bitch about Jaune having too much focus then say, the other TEN characters that had more focus than him.

And then to top it all off, you call this shit ‘criticism.’ Bull fucking shit. You blatantly IGNORED facts here and showed a clear double standard in regards to what is good and what is bad. You don’t want the show to get better, you want the show to cater to you ALONE. This is even EXCLUDING your hypocrisy as you call misgyony while being misogynist AND misandrist or how you bitch about the show so called bending to Jaune’s will while you demand everyone around bend to YOUR will.

Guess what? So long as this shit still happens with you, your criticism will never go away either. So long as RWDE spews bullshit, people will shovle that bullshit right back in.

[sapphicscholar]

October 6, 2017

Dear Alex,

Wow. I can’t believe we’re getting married this weekend. Six whole years (almost to the day) since you sent me that stilted first email asking if our kids could be pen-pals… Who would have thought it would get us here? I know I was the one who proposed this whole “let’s write each other letters to open on the morning of our wedding day!” thing, but as it turns out this is incredibly stressful. I feel like I need to say exactly the right thing to prove to you how much this moment means to me, even though I know we both know it already. We wouldn’t be getting married if we didn’t. But I’m going to try, okay? So bear with me.

The first time I thought that you were someone I could get along with was when you cared enough to find a good partner for Alessandro. You weren’t a teacher or anything, and you were still pretty new to volunteering with the Boys and Girls Club, so you really didn’t have to know much about the kids, but you took the time to help me find the best matches for my own students simply because I asked if you would. You cared because I cared.

And then it was pretty much confirmed for me that we could be friends when you told me about not necessarily being able to trust people right away. It was something I could relate to as well, and it was nice to see it in the context of a longer letter where you were starting to open up to me because it seemed like I might have crossed the threshold into trustworthy territory (or be getting there). And I hadn’t, well, at that time, I didn’t really feel like someone deserving of trust, but over time you made me believe that I was.

That same letter (and yes, of course I still have them all) was also when I had my first moment of, “Oh, I might kind of have a crush on this girl.” You included that photo of yourself with your motorcycle in a white v-neck streaked with grease, and I was kind of a goner. Of course, you were also avoiding any response to all the hints I had been dropping about being a lesbian, so I wasn’t totally sure about you. You could have been straight or simply cautious. (Obviously we got to those questions later, but at that point I couldn’t tell.) But it didn’t matter because I could already feel myself falling for you, even if I thought it might be doomed from the start.

But it was more than just attraction. You made me feel comfortable enough to open up to you—like it was safe. Not that you didn’t have opinions or probably judgment about some of it, but you weren’t projecting it onto me or trying to call me a terrible person, even though we could both admit I’d made mistakes in the past. And you made me feel like maybe I deserved to be happy at a time in my life when I really, really didn’t feel like it. I know I don’t talk much about my feelings—and I’m trying to work on that—but things weren’t great when I left for Italy. I’d gotten out of such a long relationship that had come to structure and define my life for so many important years, and I felt…adrift. I’d been so certain about the way I wanted my life to go, but then I’d had others question it, and suddenly I was jetting off to a new country with nothing to tie me to the old one—no partner or apartment to return to, no real extended family to consider, no sense of home.

Then you were there. And you could be awkward and charming all at once. And sometimes I couldn’t read you at all. But time and again, even when you left me hanging for weeks, you were there. You were the one person I had who didn’t simply leave. And yeah, part of it was because we took turns fighting for each other and making sure things didn’t fall through. But I think there was something more there too—I think maybe deep down we both knew we were fighting for something profoundly important, something that would change our lives for the better.

I know we’ve had a rocky journey getting to where we are today—not just while we were doing long distance, but while we were settling in to our new life together too. There were the dumb fights about things that should never have mattered that much (I’ll take, “The load of laundry that dirty sports bras go in,” for $200, Alex) and the more important fights that made us reconsider who we were as individuals and who we might become as a couple. There were the weeks you spent so rattled after Kara saved your plane. You pushed me and everyone away, and unlike in Italy when it was about you—about something I could see and understand in the most full way possible—I didn’t know everything that time. I couldn’t understand all the experiences you had gone through that led to that kind of deeply ingrained fear. And so when you pushed, I pushed back, and we nearly pushed each other away. And I know I did the same to you when I found out you were DEO, some shadowy black ops site I’d only heard about as the stuff of nightmares from people I considered my friends, people I had introduced you to and brought into the apartment we shared. I know I said some pretty awful things before I let you explain about J’onn and Kara and the way you were working to change things, even if it couldn’t be all at once. I’m glad you kept showing up until I listened.

And maybe I’m not supposed to talk about those things in a letter you’re going to read right before the wedding, but I think from the start we haven’t really shied away from the parts of each other and our relationship that challenged us. In fact, it’s one of my favorite things about you as a person and us as a couple. We don’t act like things are perfect when they’re not. We don’t smile and lie and pretend to be some magazine-cover couple when we’re in pain. I’ve told you before that I don’t like to think of you as my soulmate because what does that even mean? That some strange force out in the universe decided we were “supposed to” be together and stuck us here with no choice? That sounds a whole lot less significant than being here and choosing to be by your side. I might not have chosen to fall in love with you, but dammit, I choose to stay in love with you, to fight to make this thing we have work. And lord knows it’s not always easy. We’ve fought and fucked up and pushed and pushed until we were teetering right at the edge of something. But we’ve always found our way back to each other. We’ve worked hard to become better partners—not because someone out there said it was preordained, but because we wanted to be better for each other, because we wanted to learn how to be the kind of person the other one needed. And I think that’s how we’ve made it this far—nearly six whole years. And the ups and downs along the way? I wouldn’t trade them for anything because they’ve made us stronger and better. Knowing that we’ve survived the worst of the downs has made me more sure about saying yes to this next step with you than any number of romcom moments ever could have.

Of course, none of this is to act like there haven’t been wonderful moments that sometimes felt like they were plucked out of one of those cheesy romcoms. There was the five-year anniversary trip back to Italy. The first year spent trying to teach you how to cook Italian food in that tiny-ass kitchen of mine. The weekends we’ve spent in Midvale over the years, watching you getting along better and better with your mom each time. There was the morning you tried to teach me to surf. (To reiterate: I still don’t blame you for the concussion—I’m the one that veered into another surfer face-first.) The long motorcycle rides out into the dessert. The mornings we called in sick to work and the long nights we spent in bed, watching as the sun set and the stars came out, all the way until the sun started creeping back up over the horizon once more. There were the meteor showers and the solar and lunar eclipses that we spent watching from the balcony of the first apartment we called our own. God, there were the should-have-been apocalypses, and they were always terrifying, but they felt just a little better when I had you at my side. Because with you everything has always felt a little more doable.

I know in our line of work, nothing is ever stable in a long-term way. We never know what tomorrow will bring, and in the mornings, we leave not sure we’ll come back alive. But I do know that as long as we’re still here, I want to be fighting at your side. Ride or die, Danvers. Always. I know that for the rest of forever, I want to be your partner. I want to know that at the end of the night, I’m coming home to you. Because I love you, Alex. Forever.

So many of the cards I’ve gotten keep acting like marriage is some big new step. They talk about it changing everything (or make terrible sexist jokes about it being the worst thing to ever happen—luckily I’ve only gotten two of those, and they were from people we didn’t invite to the ceremony anyway). And yeah, it is a new step. But I like to think it’s one we’ve been working toward every day we’ve spent together. Because at the end of the day, what is it? A commitment to be together through thick and thin, sickness and health (or did we change those vows to terrible injury and healing bruises?), good and bad? Maybe I’ve never vowed those things while wearing fancy clothes and standing in front of family and friends, but I’ve been committed to all of it for ages. I’ve always known that no matter what happened, you were the person I was coming home to because, well, you are my home. No matter what life throws at us, I know we have that. And, Alex? That’s all I’ve ever needed. You are all I’ve ever needed.

I love you, and I cannot wait to call you my wife, double-doctor Alex Danvers.

Forever yours, Maggie

---

October 6, 2017

Dear Maggie,

We’ve been through hell and back so many times. Alien attacks, family drama, injuries that we didn’t think we could come back from, fights that woke up the entire neighborhood at 3 in the morning (not that those were the only times we bothered them overnight), night terrors, the deaths of loved ones, panic attacks, that time that I thought I could pull off bangs, and all the other tragedies—small and large—that we’ve encountered on our way to this moment.

We’ve been through so much—good and bad—and we’re still here.

We don’t always get it right and we’re certainly not perfect, but Maggie? No matter what we’re dealing with, there is no other person I rather have on my side. You’re the person who brings out the best in me. You helped me find all the parts of myself that are worthy of love when I didn’t know how to look for them. You’re the person who calls me on my bullshit, builds me up when I need to be strong, and challenges me to fight for all that could be instead of just defending what already is.

More than that, you’re the person I want to build my life with. You’re the person I want to pick out china patterns with, arrange and re-arrange furniture with, watch and re-watch cheesy sitcoms with, and curl up with every night that I am lucky enough to have you in my life. You’re the person I want to grow old with. As much as there’s no one else I rather have on my six when we’re heading into a firefight, there’s also no one else I’d rather have beside me when I sip my tea in the morning.

So, when I say I love you, I mean that I, Alex Danvers, with every fiber of my being, love every part of you—the good, the bad, the parts that you’re still working on, and the quirks that make you who are.  

I feel like I’ve been working towards writing this letter for years. Every note, every text, every post-it has just been practice for this. And all of those drafts, every single one of them—even the grocery lists—were an attempt to capture in some form or another just how much I love you. And I do. I love you so much.

Okay so like…holy shit. Today (at least the today when you’re reading this letter) is the day, right? We’re doing this. And I have never been more excited.

You’re my ride or die.

Love, The VERY soon-to-be Mrs. Dr. Dr. Special Agent Alex Danvers-Sawyer

Thanks to everyone who stuck with us for this 100-day long ride! If you enjoyed the fic and want to donate to our Ko-Fi account, we’d very much appreciate it! As it turns out, moving halfway across the country is crazy expensive...