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lkoiii · 8 months

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Hazbin Hotel Season 1 Finale Thoughts

Honestly, didn't know entirely what to expect going into this. For some reason I remember enjoying the Helluva Boss pilot more than Hazbin Hotel, so I was surprised when the first 4 episodes dropped and I was hooked. I have many thoughts, and a few theories? Kinda curious what others think. (Haven't done something like this before so sorry if it's rambly/dumb.)

I don't have as much to say about episode 7, but there were some standout moments. This episode helped tie 6 and 8 together well with the amount of content they both covered. Songs were all pretty good, the final one was probably the best of the bunch but I'd have to rewatch. I'm not sure anything can top Stayed Gone or Hell's Greatest Dad for me though (unless Alastor and Vox have another duet).

-Alastor. Need I say more? I mean he's clearly up to something, and he made a deal with Charlie to help him in the future. Is this because of the deal HE made before that Husk mentioned? Maybe if Charlie is more powerful than the one he made the original deal with she can break it? Idk, but seems important. Sus behavior, but he does it with such style I can't be mad.

-I really loved how they didn't dwell on Charlie and Vaggie's relationship issues too much, just enough. Like it wasn't drawn out to the point of, okay we get it, you're hurt just talk it out. They had reasons to feel the way they did, but they do truly love eachother so ultimately it worked out. Rosie's talk with Charlie was refreshing. Speaking of..

-ROSIE. Rosie is so sweet! I had no idea what to expect from her, but she's great! Her and Alastor's friendship was nice to see. Very different than the one he has with Mimsie, but he seems quite fond of them both. Honestly the entire cannibal town I liked way more than expected. Susan's antics were a highlight, even Alastor made a comment about Susan. Charlie losing her cool with Susan also made me laugh out loud.

-Carmilla instantly knowing Vaggie was an exorcist was so amusing, because she basically listed all the points fans theories did as reasons for that being the case. Their dance/battle practice was very well choreographed, and I liked the song.

Okay Episode 8.

-Vox's commentary throughout the episode was so damn funny. (I love him, he's so pathetic.)

-I saw some saying that including the before battle scene was bad for pacing but I couldn't disagree more. I'm glad we got to see all the main crew interact in the hotel before shit went down. Angel's chill convo with husk, the maniacal laughter shared between Nifty and Alastor, and Sir Pentious trying and (mostly) failing to rizz up Cherry Bomb. Glad she was included in the fight, makes sense for her character and friendship with Angel.

-The "More than Anything" reprise (along with events in episode 7) helped me appreciate Charlie and Vaggie's relationship a lot more. I think we just needed more time with them.

-The entire fight segment was.. well it was alot but I liked it! I like how we got see how different members of the cast fight in their own way (meanwhile the Vees are eating popcorn). The comentary about the angelic weapons being what can damage them was funny.

-Vox's reaction to Alastor and Adam facing off made me laugh so hard I fell out of my chair. I had to pause the episode for like, 5 minutes. I don't know how I can ever recover from Vox's reaction to Alastor being "Oh fuck, I'm so hard right now." Shit was hilarious.

-I didn't think we'd see Alastor and Adam face off, but actually, that makes a lot of sense. While Charlie should be more powerful, she hadn't used her powers from what we'd seen. (more on that in a bit)

-"I'm about to end your fucking life" went so hard. That line didn't have to go so hard.

-I thought Alastor was gonna die for a sec, I should have known better. But I was still traumatized.

-Sir Pencious. The true rizz master. If not for one other, he may have been the MVP, but he certainly had the most heart. He even got to confess, good for him. Very glad he got redeemed, maybe we will still see him around. Sera and Em's reaction to seeing him was hilarious/precious.

-Lucifer appears to save the day! I wasn't sure if we'd see him but thank goodness we did. Charlie and her dad both ended up fighting to save those they love. His beef with Adam was hilarious, and super valid.

-"It's fuck you UP, Dad" Charlie whispers while everyone else looks at Lucifer with confusion.

-Nifty the true MVP. We should give her a giant flyswatter asap, for a certain moth.

-Honestly wasn't expecting Adam to die . That really caught me off guard. I guess Lute is now in charge of the exorcists, so it'll be interesting to see how that plot line continues (obviously with Lilith, which I will bring up later). Doubt this would happen, but it would be hilarious if Adam respawned in hell as a sinner for everything he's done.

-Finally, Charlie get's some positive press for her hotel and friends.

-"Charlie told me to stab, so I did".

-I loved seeing the team rebuilding the hotel, they're bonding! The memorial for Sir Pentious, and either razzle or dazzle was a nice touch. I will miss Sir Pentious's chemistry with the group, I hope he's able to visit.

-I watched the QnA with Vivzie, and Charlie and Alator's VA's. They mentioned Alastor has alot more going on and based on that final scene with him, and the deal he made with Charlie, I see Alastor playing a much more active role next season. He's very bothered by "the constrains of his deal". Possible villain arc? Hell he could be the final big bad (prob not), but as long as it involves Alastor it'll be entertaining. Meaning he can't double die. I would be devastated.

-I normally don't get into shipping, and I may be biased (fuck you Val) but in all seriousness I still can't see Vox and Val as anything more than friends with benefits. Mostly because I don't think Val is capable of anything more than that. That and Vox is a pathetic lonely man who thinks Alastor ran off again, and possibly died. Velvette will def be using that image for blackmail. This isn't really a point, I just had an urge to bring it up. (realizing as I type this that the Vox tag will be filled with Val as well for a while. Definitely need that oversized flyswatter lmfao also Vox having a functional tongue is... well that's information.)

-Is Alastor's mic permanently broken? I noticed his voice didn't have a filter right after, but I think it returned during the song. I thought I remebered reading that was part of him, so how does that work? Can it heal? Does he lose some power?

- Can't wait to see how Vox reacts when he finds out Alastor is ALREADY back lmfao and don't think I didn't notice THIS IMAGE.

Cause that's def an old picture of Alastor and Vox and I need answers. Not only that, Alastor allowed a picture to be taken with him in it, no static. Is Vox the only reason Alastor is so against cameras? I love whatever is going on between those two, even if I don't fully understand it (other than Vox having a hate boner). Whatever it is, their beef isn't nearly over yet, and with the Vees seemingly wanting to take over, things should get very interesting.

-Lilith what the hell. Why are you chillin on a beach in heaven, what have you been up to? She clearly knows about the exterminations and everything going on. Now apparently to stay in heaven, she has to help stop Charlie?? What is Lute planning here?

Anyway, those are my very disorganized thoughts about the finale. I'm excited for Season 2. Anyway, if you will excuse me, I have some things to draw, and stuff. Probably Vox and Alastor. Probably.

#hazbin hotel spoilers #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel thoughts #hazbin hotel theory #hazbin hotel rosie #hazbin hotel adam #seriously though wtf how does a dude with a tv for a head have a tongue how the fuck does that work im scared #his outfit was cute though

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ram-on · 2 years

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whenyourbirdisbroken asked:

Hi ram-on! Thanks for your tags on that fic rec for Carry That Weight, I've never read that fic but your tags made it sound very interesting! What are other McLennon fics you like, if you don't mind sharing?

Hello there, @whenyourbirdisbroken! Thank you for my very first Beatles related ask and sorry for the late reply!! I discovered fanfiction through the Beatles fandom, I had never read fanfic before! But I'm still too bad at bookmarking things, so I'll certainly forget some I loved. Still, here's a list of those I can remember now:

Carry That Weight and its sequence Hello Goodbye by @waveofahand It's a massive work by a massive talent and it has a very special place in my heart. @idontwanttospoiltheparty described it very well in their recent post about it, and I added a bit of my commentary in the tags. Don't worry about the length, you don't have to read the two parts to enjoy it, but also if you start from the beginning and it's your cup of tea you may soon discover you never want it to end!

Mums, Yur Boys are Crying by waveofahand. If you love hurt/comfort, this fic includes both John and Paul suffering - John's mom dying and Paul helping him go trhough the funeral, etc, and then Paul himself getting into another situation, and John worrying about him too. The boys are young but there's kindness, maturity and wisdom in it and the typical picturesque, novel-like features of waveofhand's prose. A special bonus are the very charming scenes between Mimi and Paul which may colour your perception of the interactions between those two forever (I always expect them to act like that in other fics). It's also a delightfully finished fic, it has a beautiful ending and conclusion.

Everything by merseydreams . As you may notice, I'm mostly a fan of drama and angst, but @merseydreams are my favorite exception. They're a comedy genius, their fics are romantic, charming, witty, very vivid and enjoyable both on story-buld level and micro-sentence level. I've often told them they should write scripts for sitcoms and romantic comedies/dramedies and other good things. Also good thoughtful characterization, relationship study-ing and dialogue too (so there's seriousness in them too! They're ultimately happy but not fluffy.). I love all their fics but I guess The Birthday Party is the best by being the longest, if you somehow missed it go read it ASAP!

i was a younger man then (now) (post hoc) by fingersfallingupwards. This fic is so touching, that I don't know how to describe it. It's a very poetic, imaginative and unique story about John&Paul-forever and time travel. About the connection of their souls in a fantastical but poignant sense that somehow fits them so much. Might make you cry but it's worth it. Also, completely finished fic as well, with a thrilling emotional twist towards the end. Might be the most complete fic I've read. The fic also provide very good context for the flaming pie anecdote :-)

On our way back home by Kathleenishereagain. This one is also about time travel, but in a different way, basically about old Paul getting back to being young again and how he'd do things differently. I think it's quite popular so you probably all know it. (Funny thing is I never thought I'd care about time travel, but ultimately it's just a writing vessel and aren't we always time travelling when we fantasise about the Beatles?)

Close The Door Lightly When You Go by RosalindBeatrice. Set in 1979 when Paul comes to visit John in the Dacota, who acts like he doesn't want him there. It's awesome, one of those fics, in which they have real tension and problems which makes it all more real. It's mostly inner-thoughs and dialogue-driven but very intense nontheless, great characterisation, great attention to detail, just fantastic for lovers of post break up relationship studies and excellent writing.

The Wild Horses trilogy, from which I especially love the last part, Son of a Shining Path. It's about young Paul and John and Paul being abused by his father, and the first part might be a bit too dark for some. But I love the writing, and especially in the third part (which has no abuse but other suffering) I just love how well being worried about someone you love and being unable to show it is written in the end there. It's subtle, very realistic in its details, I love it.

I'm Looking Through You by @idontwanttospoiltheparty That's the only fic in this list which is still a work in progress, still updated. If you follow the author on Tumblr you know how smart they are, and their fic is just as thoughtful and attentive to the Beatles history, the music and the psychology of it all. The story gets more exciting and rich whith each chapter, I fell in love with the last three. It also pays attention to all four of the Beatles and their human sides and motivations in a way that rarely happens. Last chapter included the best incorporation of the Manila adventures I've read in fic. Just many emotionally packed and thrilling scenes all around (also that thing I just wrote about being worried about someone and being frozen about how to help them which I love being written realistically in fics -- is here too.) Go read it if you haven't and let's read the next update soon together!!

Widow by abromeds on LJ. This story is more than a decade old, but it's no wonder it still appears in fic recs. It's about death and grief - not John but Paul dying like John did - so it's truly dark, not like fun angsty, but truly deeply dramatic and real. So you might think why read something sad, but maybe you should, because it's so good. It's also serious writing on meaningful topic and I think the fictional element (Paul dying and not John) somehow helps it being more bearable and at the same time makes you think about the actual reality and we kinda avoid doing it, don't we? And it's just very well written, there are also very plausible-sounding flashbacks of their history and relationship through the years (the one about why John actually climbed the fence in Cavendish is my favorite!), so it's not really all about death. And my absolutely favorite thing in ''Widow'' is the very ending, the last sentence even. It's the most perfect, most poignant ending this story could have had, an ending any good fuckin literature could have. Sometimes I walk on the streets and think about that ending.

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This fic rec is got too wordy, so I'll end this here, although there are other fics I've enjoyed just as much, but I'll add them some other time!

Always feel free to recommend me some fics too (or to share your thoughts on the already mentioned!)

#fanfic rec #Beatles fic #mclennon #John and Paul

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ultraternative · 3 months

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Muddposting old art 6 (I think?):

Couple a scrinkles

Commentary under the cut

It's back babey! Not too many in this group just cause I didn't do as much at the time.

The first image, in case it wasn't obvious, is just a silly little guy. Essentially an ad for a plush that doesn't do much.

The second image was because valentine's was the day before and I wasn't putting either of my characters in a relationship then.

The third was because I spent years of my life on reddit and thought "Yeah I can share this accomplishment." Yknow, because that's where I was before.

The fourth image was because pokemon scarlet/violet had been announced earlier and sprigatito aka weed cat had taken over the internet. Figured I'd do a funny with these new little guys.

I did also make an unrelated character around this time that was basically just vague shape of black cat with eyes, but much like scrinkles it didn't really go anywhere. Gotta post the next one of these soon though so the first image can still be valid.

#muddposting #my art #furry

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shadowfromthestarlight · 7 months

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My last relationship ended three and a half years ago. That's as long as the relationship itself. Heh.

I still find it amazing that when I was in the relationship, I let so many issues go on for so long without trying to resolve them.

We were very different on most political issues. And no, politics isn't everything, but we truly believed each other's views were stupid, which doesn't bode well for the long term. Religion was a bigger problem, because I didn't share my beliefs very openly with him and I knew from other commentary he made that he wouldn't have respected them, anyway. The fact that we didn't try to have a more open conversation about our beliefs and values and what that meant for our future together is pretty problematic, though.

Most egregious was that we let each other say things about the future without consulting the other, as if the other had nothing to do with it.

For example, he would talk about his timeline for paying off his student loans and buying his own home, without any mention of me and where I fit into his timeline. He would say that he hated children and that he wasn't sure if he ever wanted children without ever once asking me my thoughts. He got a job in the field he really wanted - which is good, of course! - but then became so committed to it that there was no question that he was going to remain in one place his whole life, and that if I wanted to stay in a relationship I'd have to plan my career and life choices around him. Sometimes the way he talked about the future gave me the sense that he viewed me as someone who was just along for the ride for whatever he decided he was doing with his life. Also, we always had to listen to the same playlist. That was kind of annoying.

What about my role in all that? Why no pushback?

All I can say is, I thought I had to prove my love through total acceptance and lack of judgment.

And I wasn't so different, was I? Not only did I never push him for a straight answer on anything, I went off and started a career that kept me committed to living two hours away for the foreseeable future. I started making plans to move where I wanted to move, on my own, with no regard for how logistically difficult it would make our relationship. Because at that point, I didn't care. But that point was several months before we mutually went our separate ways, funny enough.

I used to say we broke up because of "Covid." But that's not really the whole story. It's true that we grew apart even more during the first months of the pandemic. Some of our differences were exacerbated. But the differences were already there. We saw less of each other. But we'd already been on a trend of seeing less of each other. I think it's actually more accurate to say that the pandemic prolonged our stagnated relationship. It was too easy to have a routine of talking to each other at the same time every day. Our relationship was going nowhere, sure, but at that time, nothing was going anywhere! And not for nothing, throwing in a breakup during some already very difficult times would have just been cruel. He was even more isolated than I was that spring, and I genuinely worried about him. It was only later that summer that we were both able to admit that we were each building a future that didn't include the other, and mutually go our separate ways.

What's really striking to me is that I never had any doubt that breaking up was the best choice for both of us. Not once. Not even in the first few days after the breakup. In truth, I only felt like a weight had come off my shoulders. I've never once thought wistfully of what might have been. Because I've never doubted that "what might have been" wasn't anything good. That's how I know that I was in it for far too long. Yes, breaking up was the right choice, but my absolute certainty that it was the right choice makes me think it should have been done a lot sooner.

I can only say I thought I was obligated to keep trying. To accommodate the other person as best I could. To inconvenience myself for the other person. To tolerate all the disagreements, or to pretend they didn't exist. To stick it out even when the initial thrill of a new relationship was over. I thought that was what love was all about. And perhaps it can be, sometimes. When you're working towards a mutual goal with somebody. When you both have the same end in mind. A crucial difference I was missing then.

With the passage of time, I've come to understand all the mistakes I've made. I just hope someone else will benefit from my sharing them.

#relationships

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majorbaby · 1 year

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tl;dr why i talk about race on MASH so much and why i think it's worth doing inspite of the horrors lol and what you can expect from me re: race on MASH going forward

one of the things that drew me to MASH fandom, and one of the reasons i've persisted in it for so is how much meta is generated by smart, passionate fans who were pulled in by the smart, passionate and political writing on MASH, which did all of that while being damn funny.

disclaimer: "meta" isn't better or inherently more ~intellectual~ than fanfiction or squee or fanart or memes or "two-braincell" content. in fact, i think meta can be all of these things, though i'm biased in that i think critical thought relies heavily on one's ability to make connections and pick up on intersecting concepts and i have a hard time reining in my natural tendency to do that, which is why my posts are so long and convoluted - i am working on it.

i wasn't, and still am not, dismayed by the (perceived or actual) void of long-form commentary on race and class on MASH. tbf there are a few people who note these things as they appear, but not really many who centered it in their meta. still, i appreciate at least an awareness.

if anything, it gave me some confidence that i could add something new and valuable to the collective space. that's why i started writing about race on MASH and tagging it as such. and generally, it's been pretty well received, although i'd be open to more people talking about and sharing their views on the subject.

what does bother me though now though, is that i should've known better assuming that there was no angle on race already being espoused and freely adopted by people. the absence of any statements about race is in fact a loud, clear statement on race. the absence of racialized voices in any public discourse is painfully obvious. and tbh, i'm a little surprised by how little the korean-ness of the korean war features in analysis. yes it's true that MASH might've been about "the vietnam war" but that's less of the jump it takes in the later years, when it becomes about "all war" or even more vaguely "all suffering"

it's been pointed out to me in the past that some people think the racism of the later years is "subtle" and - tbh, it's fine to see it that way if maybe you've not been the target of "subtle" racism in your life or you haven't studied the pervasiveness of racism or you haven't consumed the work of people who have done both. but i think it's pretty shortsighted to openly claim that something is "subtly" racist and not be prepared to defend that position with examples, or quantify what you mean when you say "subtle". and i'm not really willing to hear such distinctions being made unless its first been explained to me why we're using a spectrum of "loud to quiet racism".

additionally, the fanbase has been pretty vocal about misogyny. i believe this is a popular justification "start from season 4", which i've talked everyone's ear off about so i won't do it again here*. i'm glad we know that Hawkeye making comments about nurses' bottoms in OR is harassment - but then again, do we know that? Or do we limit our critiques of misogyny to Trapper and Henry only? Do we know that BJ, as of a result of Hawkeye's advice, deciding not to tell Peg about his infidelity is just doubling-down on BJ's betrayal of her? The show definitely doesn't, and it's troublesome to me that we don't seem to know that either, or we do know, and we just forgive it.

*famous last words.

if I'm being exposed to this shallow criticism of the representation of women on MASH, then i'm raising my eyebrows at the lack of commentary on race - which is the other reason why i persist in writing about it. even MASH, with Hey Look Me Over, lightly acknowledges the intersection of race and gender, and the eternal plight of women of colour having to choose between pieces of their identity in order to show "solidarity" with their oppressors - white women and racialized men. so why shouldn't we? and when i say "we" i mostly mean me, but i'd like to properly mean we.

there's other ways we've talked about race without talking about race and not realized it. and there's one very big example that i'm going to address in a later post. i just wanted to talk to myself about why i think it's important and worth doing, beyond any suspicion there may be about my motives being benign stuff that doesn't actually bother me at all. like who's fucking hawkeye post-war or individual people looking to colonel potter as a father-figure. if it were just that, and if there wasn't so much conventional wisdom floating around that bore no connection to unconscious biases we (me included) have about race, class, gender etc, then i wouldn't be interested in unpacking it.

such posts will be tagged #race on mash, #class on mash

#... i'll have a thought and that thought triggers 4 other thoughts #and then before i know it i'm wrangling 400 other thoughts - i am literally doing it right now. this post was actually part of another post #and i think it can stand on it's own so.#race on mash #re: mash

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ozrockbitway · 1 year

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If Vale had groovy cards, what do you think they would look like/be the story behind them? 👀

Vale groovy cards...I eventually plan on drawing their Groovy art at some point. Im just drawing blanks on how to do it + I'd wana do a BG and make it SICK like an actual card. So...one day...eventually :')) I am drawing more recently so!! its a possibility!!

I'll focus on the 2 SRs I have for them I guess?? Considering the bday one is technically an interview so...not much story there?? Although for that one I'd like Grim to be the one interviewing them & have him in the groovy art too uwu/

Suitor Suit Vale!

It starts off with them fretting over their looks. Like a bit after they've all changed into the suits to go save Idia. Vale is just nervous cuz they don't usually dress up, but they also like it?? No time to appreciate it all though when the homie is in danger!

There's also talk on how to woo the ghost bride. I'm thinking that Vale ends up suggesting really good lines?! They just say it's cliched stuff from novels about princesses and whatnot but hey, those kinda things might actually work. I think Ace would try to prod them a little like, what would you say to get someone's hand in marriage, without 'cheating' aka using your novel knowledge. Do something from the heart.

To be continued in pt 2 lol

Commentary from Vale about how this tragic tale of the ghost bride finding her one true love would make for a good novel. Insert comments about oh please dont do it. They laugh...maybe they won't but no promises hehehe.

Ima dab me in some Corpse Bride reference here. sorta. Basically it's Vale on their way back to Ramshackle at night with the looming thought of how they never got to give their hand at wooing the princess. They take Ace's words to heart and try to think of something to say. Also a comment from either Rook or Epel, probably Rook about thinking about someone who inspires such thoughts (coughs Idia coughs)

They give a soliloquy, their own heartfelt confession and lines for a wedding. They get a bit embarrassed afterwards and glad that no one is around. But they're totally using that in the future.

haha funny bonus is if the Shroud bros hear it or something and Ortho just eye emojis at his bro like HMMMMMMMM lil bro knows what's up

I'd like their groovy to be like gets down on one knee and extends hand out to the player or something?? w/ the ramshackle background?? to be more shippy its them doing it to Idia B))

Starsending Robes Vale!

steals my own fic idea lol. sort of. but it starts off with Ortho asking about what Vale's wish would be despite giving/sharing it with Grim. They're honestly not so sure about it like?? The thought of having magic does come to mind and they say it but they know that isn't possible. So maybe something else? Ortho says to think on it and he'll grant it!

Vale ends up hunting for wishes with Ortho & Idia the most out of the selected trio. I know the Shroud bros get the wishes from the Leech bros, so Vale ends up hanging around them for a bit. The eels are so kind and willing to lend an ear to Vale's woes...at least they seem to be interested.

Vale admits that they don't know what to wish for. Floyd points out it doesn't matter since they don't get a wish anyway while Jade is softens the blow saying its all for fun and its not so serious. Conversation ensues and it boils down to Floyd's side saying be selfish or following after Jade's with his selfless wish. Ugh decisions!

to be continued...

The night of the starsending...

They're still conflicted on what to choose. Selfish and selfless. They're rarely the former, but the latter is so much easier. They consider the bros (Jade & Ortho) and their wishes. As they think on it they end up seeing the "shooting stars". And then it hits them.

The whole thing is done and Idia is probably trying to peace out but Vale spots them and is just like!! I know my wish!! Idia is like?? wishing is over but go off I guess??

My wish...is to spend as much time with my friends here.

They probably explain that they were tempted to wish for everyone's wish to come true, but they can be a little selfish and wish for that instead, right? It's silly, but that means they also get to spend more time with him and Ortho too!

tbh the image I have in mind would be similar to the header on my sideblog or just focusing on Vale making the wish with Idia in it uwaaa

#princesslocket #asks #oc stuff #twst oc #speedruns ghost marriage event to read it all and answer this LMAO #also going off what I remember for stargazer without reading everything again #me idk how to do their groovy #me after typing this up okay now I know #thank uuuuuuuuu for the ask

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skinreflectsthesun · 11 months

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Grabbing at your offer of advice like a drowning man...

I'm a mutual of yours, and I've been working on a deep-seated crush on another mutual of yours (who I follow, and have had minor light conversation with, but who has never followed me back) for a long while. I think she's an amazing person - kind, funny, and interesting - and I'd like to get to know her better; if it turns into friendship, fantastic - if it becomes romantic, even more fantastic.

But between my anxiety and lack of social experience, and knowing she has some (completely valid!) trust issues from prior experience... I am overthinking hard and kind of going 'round and 'round in a continuing spiral.

I know it's not the full picture, but... do you think I should tell her? If so, how should I tell her? (and please feel free to disregard if you'd rather not opine on this)

Well Anon I do have some advice on the matter. Not sure how you’ll like the advice though. I would not recommend telling someone you don’t really know on tumblr that you have a crush on them. I’d say a majority of the women on this site aren’t using it as a dating app, it’s a place to share thoughts, opinions, and funny commentary and for some to make friends. Are there some scenarios where mutuals meet and go head over heels? Sure but you’d be remiss to skip ahead so far in the future. So if I were you I’d test out the waters a bit, having conversations here and there about common interests, and if it seems like she’s interested in holding a conversation then keep that up and maybe a friendship comes of it. Do yourself a favor though, if it really seems like she’s responding short and is being polite and to the point about whatever topic you bring up then it’s likely she is not interested. When people are interested in you (whether it be romantically or friendship-wise) it’s very apparent, I think. You leave those interactions feeling good and content with how it went. If you’re questioning if they’re interested then they likely are not, and that may not have anything to do with you, anon, they could just be looking for more nonchalant and noncommittal conversation or friendships on tumblr and that’s okay too. The way I see it, you’ll be okay regardless of what happens, because everything is okay in the end if it’s not okay it’s not the end 🌸

#hope this helps #skinreflectsthesun advice

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ryan-shepard-writes · 2 years

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Okay so this is very obviously NOT the finished product. Not even a little bit. But I'm writing a prequel bit for Fate's Crystal Majesty for @athena-anna-rose's writing contest. And. I'm having the hardest and funniest fucking time writing an oblivious straight man. I have no experience in this category of Guy so writing this bit is killing my sensibilities but it's already so fucking funny and I wanted to share. Current progress is under the cut. This is turning into a comedy.

Contest Story: What Once Was

"I've been meaning to say this for a while," said a voice, light and playful like a bell. "...But you really are pretty cute, mister Crown Prince!"

Solaris Trinidad Coronis nearly slammed his book closed, face turning red as his head whipped around. There, standing behind him, was a young mage— a university student that was younger than him, and a familiar one. Her blonde hair and aquamarine eyes would have been a dead giveaway, even if her uniquely folded 'dog' ears didn't signal her identity and status.

"O-oh, you're… Lunari Nitewing, correct? I believe I've seen you around…" He asked, doing his best to ignore her commentary on him. He nearly winced as he glanced at the nearby clock, suddenly noticing the time.

The young half-Rorvan nodded, grinning. "Yes, your highness. But I'm surprised you remembered my name… They say you spend too much time with your head hidden in these books to notice much, and I'll admit, this library is where I usually end up seeing you."

He sniffed, wolf ears giving a disdainful twitch as he collected his studying materials. "Well 'they' don't seem to know the value of being well-read… but at least they're smart enough not to insult me to my face, I guess…" Though… he thought wryly, I'd have to be blind not to notice the most magical young woman on the planet. "...You ought not to listen to gossip, Miss Nitewing. You have a lot of talent. It would be a true shame if you got caught up in a bad crowd."

"I find your studious nature endearing, actually!" The girl giggled. He suddenly realized how petite she was as she sat on the table, her eyes just barely higher than his were. "Makes you seem like a normal person."

"You'll find that I am a normal person, Miss Nitewing," he said, voice even. "I do what I can to make sure that being a prince doesn't get in the way of being a good citizen."

He stood then, gathering his books in his arms, then gave the girl another quick once-over. Sky blue Rorvan-inspired blouse over white pants, dark boots, a charming blue headband to match her top, tasteful floral scented oils along her pulse points… she looked a bit too nice for a trip to the library.

Is she… going out with someone?

He gave a polite cough. "If you're planning to meet someone, you shouldn't be chatting me up… someone might get the wrong idea if you speak to me."

She smiled almost pointedly. "Oh, I don't know if I'm going out yet… the guy I like doesn't seem to notice me as much as he thinks he does. I'm actually here to talk him into going to dinner with me."

Solaris blinked, suddenly a little surprised and annoyed on her behalf. What kind of idiot wouldn't notice her? "Oh… that's too bad. Someone as interesting as you should be at the top of anyone's list. Are you meeting him here?"

The young woman giggled. "Actually, he's already here. I'm just running a social experiment to see how long it takes him to notice."

#fate's crystal majesty #important

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year

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spent the evening reading through all of the like galley pdf copy of the 2 trans 2 furious zine and a great time start to finish like it was Not an effort to keep at it despite its being like 160 pgs. and despite my not having ever seen a f&f movie or really especially directly "correctly" being interested, though i'd ofc love to see any of the films like live & in person w/a bunch of trans strangers, say

laughed and teared up multiple times and thought about how impressive and creative entries were and like, the momentum was easy, everything was engaging and intriguing and invigorating and enriching....and Printed Editions (that ship to US & canada) are still available for pre-order, for about another week (also the window given for us going over the digital copy for edits/corrections lol) soooo. again i like haven't seen any f&f movies, and that didn't impede anything at all, and it was a fantastic time:

and another reason i'm like Oh My God So Appropriate To Have Sent In An Entry is how, like, it's all transformative fun and serious yet not somber Media Analysis on media you don't have to have actually even seen, or "like" straightforwardly, or at all, or be the "correct" audience for, or have an "intended" interpretation, lol, lmao....like this is Extremely our shit out here lol, what one is up to all the time in the world of Billions Series Analysis like, personally haven't even seen it, i'm not cishet enough to be the intended audience or otherwise sharing various particular assumed perspectives that are occasionally required to even parse, much less enjoy, some material....and yet!!

and like, if there was an all-autistic contributor's fun fan media analysis / commentary / parody / exploration / transformation / etc zine about billions? it'd be like wow how exactly me, and yet ofc i'd be at way more of a loss at what to scream abt winnie, perhaps ft. & tay, and the overall [billions]ing, much less how to actually execute that lol. it was easier to do a Very 101 Intro To: Cam Stone Exists Btw, nonbinarily, in that i limited myself to One Page so i could actually feasibly get it done, but in doing so i, as expected, could only say a fraction of what i could say about cam, were i explaining things in full / just unleashed, and skim the surface but just go "they exist btw and here's a tiny bit of further 101 info." it's not like, An Issue, b/c i don't think the [everything] that i could say would work great in full, and i can't write a great little short form piece of text about them (or winston, or anything else)....but it was also like, well if a trans f&f zine Doesn't have the trans f&f character in it then what are we doing, and We Know Of Cam Stone, so the most feasible [handing out a flyer] version of telling ppl they exist has gotta be done

and it's like, it's (relatively?) matter of fact to this end of only having so much room to put in words, and definitely ending up having to squeeze lines in vs struggling to fill the space. it could've been weirder, or funnier, or hornier, but it successfully exists and maybe it's a little weird, funny, and horny (drew an Especially [ooh sexy cam stone]-tinged pic lol) and whatever is difficult for me to perceive abt my own personality infusion in whatever, like how i have to be reminded like oh right, my Art Style, the way that Eye draw lol....and of course, i can't and don't expect my one page informative crash course intro to cam stone to be able to be Everything, any more than years' worth of lots of [winston billions] material in various formats of various extensiveness from various angles has been Everything. and the zine as a whole can't be Everything but it is, in fact, So Much abt So Many Things from so many different approaches. i enjoyed everything, especially like, "An Ode to X" as in fast x, which evolves into "x" as an (implicitly nonbinary) in-universe character and i was Moved and teared up, and i see it immediately follows "Jason Statham Will Call My Dad A Pussy In Fast 12" which moved me and made me tear up, which follows an entry that's a haiku about each film, none of which i've seen, which i didn't get misty about of course but was fully engaged with and enjoys, which follows my entry

there's naturally plenty about roads and horizons and racing and speed and i'm also like, i'm a gay who can drive, and i can feel it re: the trans contributor whose entry mine follows which is about their irl experiences driving in a demolition derby, inspired by f&f. and i can feel it re: enjoying f&f beyond how you're "supposed" to, or how you would in a cishet(tm) way, and how so many of these entries had resonance, and that intrigue and engagement, and lenses on where to find explorations of gendering which will kind of Have to come up whenever anything succeeds in approaching things that are genuine and really truly more To Life, even while the point of f&f is not to be "realistic," especially about, you know, the driving and what you can do with cars, which i fully appreciate and definitely understood more for cam stone being in a story ramming through a wall outracing an avalanche hacking cop cars and defusing bombs and ramping over bucket wheel mining excavators and being swept out of the way of a train that was going full speed but silent until like 0.05 sec ago when it also burst through a wall or something? and whomever all is involved with racing like a rocket launch fr. and having fun, being yourself, and killing people, hell yeah

and like, the [this is like my autistic ass out here laser pointing at winston billions as autistic and having that lens on this media that doesn't intend it or directly invoke it] relevance also Of Course in that, through kompenso, that is where it is like yes as i have that personal symposium of ongoing compounding unfolding branching distilling consideration, analysis, appreciation, transformation, etc going on, so too does my colleague as the world's preeminent tayficionado, which is where they looked into akd's oeuvre and found the cam stone material, and passed it on to me, then passed on the [zine call for trans f&f contributions], So

and that, just like as is also found crucially in kompenso / the then preexisting & all eventually following winnie n tay material, there's that Autistic and Trans resonance. some particular quotes from this zine were especially like, oh, pointing, pointing...."Thirty minutes into my visit, I suddenly just didn’t want to be there anymore. I didn’t feel angry, not really very sad at all either. I just longed to be elsewhere. A different place, with different people, within a different moment. And then every cell in my body pleaded to not feel that way in all of my moments, in every group of people, in all places." ....[from a poem, ft. formatting thusly:] "It made me feel important, kind of? Like, more present? Like people talked about me a lot but never exactly about ME, if you know what I mean. I mean, of course sometimes I could feel something inside of me. A sneaking or, like, a skittering. I just kind of figured everyone feels that sometimes, like really deep down, right? It’s just that no one really talks about it, you know. That’s what I figured." ....[from a section of a contribution w/the context of the author not yet knowing that they're trans]: "but he was familiar and didn’t make me think too critically about much in the world, especially myself, especially as he never seemed too interested to ask me about me—not that I would’ve had much insight to share at the time beyond “please do not think too deeply about how I am.”"; and then, w/the context that they do realize, and have expressed, that they're trans: "but I was still learning about the concept of mattering, so I didn’t push the issue of basic respect at the time." ....from another submission, that is Sooo: "maybe i am transing Fast and Furious just by loving it" ...."Discovering, loving, and sharing this franchise (and myself) with others has been such a wildly different experience—maybe even the opposite experience—than self-policing myself into who I thought I should be. It’s nourishing, welcoming—an open invitation to learn and grow rather than an ongoing test to constantly worry about failing."

an ongoing test to constantly worry about failing....here ofc a parallel to Gendering, and, ofc, the autistic & trans [handshake] and resonance, to Autisting....i resonated with plenty, genderingly, but this wasn't a surprise or even like, my focus, and of course not all the entries themselves Textually mention [gendering], but it's like, a trans space in a zine lol, a baseline of that understanding and perspective, vs having to be actively looking. nonzero textual neurodivergence mentions, too, and other lenses of ways to be Othered / non normative, like race, nationality, religion. the overarching, Constant [omg sooo me] resonance is that of like, having this foundation of refusing Limits, of approaching a Rich Text a hundred different ways, w/different tones, and different formats, and different experiences and ideas explored. you don't need the source material to acknowledge any noncishet people textually exist (to be understood by noncishet audiences), or to be deemed Good, or Enjoyed, or your entry to be proffered as like, correct and definitive rather than One exploration you could offer up, amongst many offered by many others who could say more, again, differently....i've been like, balancing excitement for having this contribution, and its being like ooh fancy lol this is the one time i can say i have (non self-)published work, and it'll be Out There, and (including all contributors' gifted copies) apparently that ft. abt a thousand printed copies atm, and the digital distribution option hasn't happened yet....along with, like, it can't even be my comprehensive, definitive [cam stone exists btw] theoretical Ideal Entry lol b/c that would not be feasible for me to make or to be put into a zine. knowing i have Points on my side for it being crucially relevant lore (and the competition being hotter for the small form text entries, though there's other illustrations, comics, collages, edits, etc) like, yeah the strength of this isn't in its being as weird or funny or horny as anything could be, lol....but my Personality is embedded in it as per like, see: how that Journey of relevant interests and enthusiasms and engagements and perspectives and weirder, hornier, more extensive and varied works led up to and contribute to this piece's existence (such as, years of drawing winston 9000 times being part of how my drawing looked in march, when i made the cam stone piece)

and like, in not seeing everything as a test to fail, in seeing [when are you seeing things as that test to fail], &/or similarly/overlappingly seeing [when are you seeing things as a test to Prove Value to others or something and achieve person status in their eyes b/c of it] like, lol, i hope a thousand plus ppl learn cam stone exists, and it'd be fun if they enjoy that process. put in little floaty hearts as flair, just as i often do, b/c by now i just Know and Embrace that i do. and i'm not like "i hope everyone ever is blown away" b/c why would they be lol, and that's fine. like how even in [i just say some shit abt winston billions, and ofc abt myself and my experiences / perspectives through winston billions while knowing that's not what's "meant" out here probably maybe though put me through to will roland, yknow...] i'm like oh don't be thinking abt proving your value w/this specific oeuvre lol like. anyone Caring as validation like, it's too late by now, i like people liking shit and getting anything out of it but it's like, i'm doing my thing, i'm having a specific ass symposium abt quantent and billionsing "wrong" that eye enjoy, i enjoy getting any feedback/attention on shit i put out there in case ppl wanna partake, i don't enjoy any/all of it in any/all ways just so long as it's Anything, yknow. like same with interactions/attention on Me as an autistic person who actually exists, lol. speaking being exhausting when it's ppl saying shit At me, would-be "positive" attention that's from someone like deciding what i'm like or what i'm communicating and wanting something from me, that shared discussion Abt something can only be a gateway into like "normal" exchanges to "normally" socialize, finding that pattern of not being worth effort unless it's effort that gets something out of hurting you / thwarting you; all versus: i have plenty of expertise knowing myself vs needing feedback, i like doing my thing, i like doing my thing Alongside others, probably strangers, within a certain context, like being cooped up at college and socially recharging by going ""alone"" to the coffeeshop down the block, while going "with" people would generally be a mixed bag if not disheartening to even distressing. which, here i am, doing my little thing alongside strangers in this context of transgendering and fun and serious but not not funny and varying and daring and earnest materials exploring something that's about anything or everything or nothing, and not made for You, but here you are anyways, as you always have been

anyways, that is to say, like, perfect that it's turned out so like "yeah you don't need to have seen the movies even" and such enriching Reflections and like, so different and yet cohesive without needing to like, painstakingly group or order things to create some Connections, they're all there, and i'm like damn yeah cam's quarter-mile V neck, so fucking true. and i'm like, this is so Me, without having to be like, "and that is b/c i have put Me on the page, in full, with utmost success, and Everyone Will Love It (Me)" lol, which was not like, a danger, but that's through all the years of going [everything is a test i'm failing / can fail at any moment] and yknow, even up to recently and this very moment wrangling with and realizing things like, hand on shoulder are you looking to "earn" some estimation of Value in others' eyes that they can only choose to give by seeing everyone as a fellow person w/inherent value who deserves basic respect. like the mortality mondays that ramped up since late january, but also since '09, but also since like forever in different forms, and back when first discovering billions and, for like the only time while we've been watching, Knowing when everything in a season will air, but also not thinking i'd get to see it, and now in a similar boat, but different (having done "nothing" on paper over the years but like, been Realizing Things, been powering up, been assigning the Value to myself and Understanding myself & my experiences further. and also other things that you Could put on paper, but yknow), and like, it's still about [grr let me see billions through, even though i don't even see billions] and still about [!!!] despite it all and things that are "unserious" and also not and who needs like a certain kind of validation from enough of certain kinds of people

anyways, the autistique resonance within it, and in the process of reading it, and having our specific path to sending something in, and making it. it's an excellent ride and it's very epic that it exists so consider that print copy preorder if you want (plus the intended eventual digital distribution option, not yet available)

#2 trans 2 furious #cam stone #reiterating this blog's lore like: this [this zine] submission from me made possible by nothingunrealistic.tumblr.com #also featured here as: the world's preeminent tayficionado and in further implicit / indirect presence and relevance #also going Lol at ppl mentioning their adhd vs [these films] or [sitting through Any film] or [these action scenes] like yea same too #not re: specifically having seen these movies lol but. in theory and in my own practice....#something something also just like. rejecting [the test to fail] like i feel like i have less of a buffer or smthing. b/w me & others #not the other way around lol. idk plenty to say and i'm obviously not even raring to say it lmao #if i verbalize shit i'm going to be doing it in Many Words; which takes time & effort; b/c to do it in few words takes too much more time &#effort or occasionally someone else's....and; nonrhetorically; for what #speaking of audhd i Have stepped outside time to Write A Bunch Of Text here; i Have reentered to realize it's half past 5am....#and i haven't made an omelet [weary emoticon] here i go....#but i Did have an easy time spending like all evening / into the night reading right through this whole thing (with some small breaks)#oh yeah and forgot to say my One Edit was saying ''i thought abt saying And I'm Autistic in my bio but then didn't put it in but afterwards #was like i should've put it in so let's put it in'' & noticing like 7 small formatting errors in entirely [not mine] sections & etc lol

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mez-rperez · 1 year

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Reviving my coding skills

Data Visualization Fellowship Weeks 2 & 3

If there is one thing I got out of my Computer Science degree, it is audacity. I'd say it is what helped me survive that major (and all it entails). Turns out, it comes in handy for my research as well!

So I'm in week three of the data visualization program and I have begun to really test my coding skills, which I haven't used (strictly speaking) in years. I spent most of week 2 reading/thinking, mostly because I was in the middle of travel and presenting at a conference.

The space was helpful! I read two insightful (and short!) articles recommended by the mentors, which were Feminist Data Visualization by Catherine D’Ignazio and Lauren F. Klein, and The Theory/Data Thing Commentary by Geoffrey C. Bowker. Both were extremely helpful, but the D'Ignazio and Klein piece really helped with my thinking around how I go about constructing this work. Namely, acknowledging the standpoint that I am taking and how that is reflected in the work/final visualization. This is something I've thought about a bit with regard to positionality statements in writing, but it is different (for me) to be undertaking this sort of project with that in mind.

This week, however, was spent trying to re-learn Python syntax. I'm sure I'm not the first person to experience this, but it's funny that I can remember what I'm able to do with that language/the libraries and then proceed to Google "how to launch jupyter notebook" because while I know what it is and what it can do... I can't remember what to type in on the terminal.

So I'll say that while it took a little longer than I expected, I have a first draft of a data set I can use for my project! Using the Wayback Machine Internet Archive, I collected job titles, locations, year posted, and links to SpaceX job descriptions for a given day in June for 2014-2019. There are still some major limitations to this set, and I'm still trying to figure out how to get 2020-23 since they changed up the page in 2020. Its a start though! I'm adding a screenshot of my excel file so you can get an idea of what I'm working with.

While I work on this technical aspect of my project, I am still turning over in my mind how I want to define a "STEM job," if I still want to. There are a lot of pitfalls to this, most importantly being that I am personally against the idea of delineating this. Of course, I'm still going to think this through, but it's challenging.

Up next will be getting the rest of the data (2020-23) and to start visualizing it. A big question for me is what is missing, as in where can I possibly expand beyond how I'm thinking of this project. I hope to be able to share soon my first visualizations to see what comes up for people!

Anyway, thanks for reading!

#grad school #grad student #data visualization #spacex #university of michigan

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supergirlspurgatory · 7 years

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Re-watching Supergirl with my Girlfriend

Things that she’s saying

“Supergirl is just an old-fashioned sort of girl”

“Did Alex just throw away the smoke detector? That’s not safe”

In reference to ‘Yeah because I can fly’ “Ohhhhhhhhhhh.”

“He took pizza with him.”

“From now on I’m taking the stairs.”

“Lena Luthor has a good heart.”

“How does she know how to work on earth, she hasn’t been on earth yet.” Talking about Rhea

“Oh snap” In reference to the kidnapper saying he knows Kara is Supergirl.

“I’m with Kara on this, doing it the hard way, there is a chance of people dying. She needs to fly in and knock people out. We need to stop catering to pasies. In the old days we would have just cut off his hand and been done with it. I would cut cut off his hand...”

“IN A WORLD OF HURT. Because she will get out.”

“The difference between Kara and I is, I would have forgotten that dudes name by now.” (The kidnapper’s dad’s name)

“How does Maggie keep just walking into the DEO, isn't it a secret government agency?”

“Do you know why it’s fun that she’s in this shoe?” (talking about Rhea again) *Whispers* “Because she was Lois in Lois and Clark.”

“Careful she killed her husband”

“Oh no she didn’t, that is Lena’s best friend.”

“She is totall not going to share everything.” Air quotes and funny voice “I’m and alien”

“Noooo she’s a back stabber, oh wait she stabbed him in the front, she's a tummy stabber.”

“He is sooo not FBI”

“She smashed the table, do you think it’s made of rubber? Like to make it look real?”

“Oh, he had relations.”

“Yeahhhh” Under her voice when Kara throws Rick across the room. “Oh she’s going to kick your butr, you might as well bend over right now.”

“DO IT, give him a new haircut” When Kara’s eyes went red.

“You have x-ray vision Kara, go fly over the city with your x-ray vision.”

“You know what that reminded me of ‘We toys can see everything’.”

“No you didn’t, nobody was there, she did it in private. All you saw was the burning car.”

“The always say put two and two together, but obviously if it took that long, the equation was a little harder than that.”

“Heaven FORBID tHEY THROW A MURDERER IN JAIL.”

“Yeah, because they’re doing this sort of stuff in Jr High.”

“Kara needs to accidentally step on his toes, because they’ll flatten.” Then she slapped her hands together and madesquishing noise.

“She is far more intelligent than I anticipated, not like book smarts because that’s obvious, but like now she has street cred.” After Lena uses the Alien detection device on Rhea.

Under her breath, “Getmos is Gwatameno Bay....that’s totally J’onn.”

“She’s going to MCGyver the crap out of that thing. WHAT IS SHE DOING? AHHHHH WHY IS SHE DOING THAT? “When Alex cuts her tracker out with the credit card. “You can’t plant the chip in there. THat does suck. Yeah and those wires connect perfectly into that thing.”

“That look...disdain.” IN reference to the look Maggie gives Rick when she’s going to leave the room.

“I hope you can swim...she’s a secret agent of course she can swim”

“She’s got to be there right?...don’t answer me.”

“Use your credit card it worked last time.” I asked for what. She said, “it doesn’t matter it worked.”

“Kara has very big arms, she looks like a girl I played basketball against once.”

“Literally, she is a little bit bigger than her.”

“haha she’s going to a closet....hey pun not intended.”

“Would you call her by her first name once in her life? You are not on a softball team.”

“Name her gertrude? What is she russian?”

“Oh Snap, her comes Mon-El’s mama, mama El.” “That’s right, get out of Lena’s office.”

“But really how does she know all this stuff about Earth, she’s only been around for like a week?”

“Lena, I don’t have time for you.” Pretending to be Kara when Lena is calling.

“No everything is not okay. My sister has been kidnapped. I need you to come hug me”

“Like I said fly over and Xray it... a fly by shooting if you will.”

“I’d have blamed myself too.”

“Break your father free? What is she, superman. You’re confused sir, Supergirl is the blonde one.”

“CREEEEEP!”

“you’re missing the point pal.” Sing song voice. “Murdereer.

“I Like that she’s taken off her shoes and her socks, I mean if you’re going to take off your shoes, may as well take off your socks too.

“Now she’s taking her pants off, WOAH!!!! She’s making a floaty with her pants. She wears boxers like you. That’s definately where she wears her guns.”

“Maggie’s gone rogue.”

“Maggie letting the bad guy out is not a good idea.”

“Oh my.” (The tech) “She totes got that from the aliens.”

“Maybeeee not the best thing to have done with your life, you know, raising a bad guy.”

“Oh snap, have you been a good father today?” When Kara was giving her speech.

“That was a quick 4 hours.”

“Hello, go punch it.” Before Kara goes and punches the glass

“Give her the kiss of life.”

“Oh nevermind, she’s breathing.”

“Just hold her.”

“How did she get there as fast as Kara” I told her Kara flew her. “Kisses, sisters before misters, thanks for the ride, dueces.”

“Awww that so cute. Finally you used her first name.”

“Punch him Punch him in the face. Kick him kick him in the little boys.”

“YESSS!!!!!!!” little kid voice “oh my nose.”

“No you guys need to talk about it. DON”T JUST MAKE BRUNCH PLANS LENA.”

#Supergirl Spoilers #Supergirl 2x19 Spoilers #Supergirl 2x19 Alex spoilers #Supergirl Alex Spoilers #My girlfriend has a lot of comments during Supergirl #I have to watch it before I watch it with her or else I want to punch her for her commentary #it's a funny commentary though so I thought I'd share #She loves the danvers sister more than anything else #My girlfriend won't admit it but she def ships Supercorp #Supercorp #Karlena #Sanvers #Alex Danves #Supergirl #Kara Danvers #Lena Luthor #Rhea #This was a wild ride with her #please think this is as funny as I did

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theroleofimagination · 3 years

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Here are some rambling thoughts on my train home about the game last night:

I don't have a fixed seat in the East Stand (wasn't sure how many home games I'd get to so didn't think there was much point having a set seat if it was going to be empty for various games) so I was sitting in the West Stand. Think I've only ever watched half a game from that side before but I really enjoyed it. At first I thought I was a bit too close to the Man City fans and their drum but I took a lot of joy from trying to drown out the "City" chants after the drum beats with chants of "Arsenal" instead. After a quiet start most people were joining in and after a while the drum stopped...

Ended up right next to the press box as well (not sure why it was moved to the other side for this game 🤷‍♀️) and could hear some of the commentary for, I think, maybe the FA Player or BBC 5Live. The commentator was being very descriptive about the colour of the sky at a couple of points so I wondered if it was for radio. Also ended up in Tim's photo of the celebrations after Katie's goal! 😂

Think I was taking a photo at this point, was definitely doing lots of cheering and clapping as well!

Lauren Hemp was near me for most of the first half - she was constantly calling for the ball but was seemingly invisible to her City teammates when she was open on the wing. If I'd been her I would have been raging at half time! I was very glad they were stupidly ignoring her tbh, I was def most worried when she had the ball. Must say though that Noelle did brilliantly to contain her.

It was great to see both Noelle and Steph up close actually - they were both hit with injuries last season and obviously didn't play in front of the fans so it was brilliant to have each of them near us in each half and see them bossing it.

Jennifer Beattie 👏 Those defensive headers 😍 Think she was first to the ball on pretty much all City's set pieces - so happy she's back with us!

The pressing generally was excellent throughout but Kim and Beth particularly just did not stop running! Felt a bit bad for the City defenders towards the end tbh - Beth, Viv, Frida and Katie went off but our subs just kept up the intensity and continued pressing.

Really exciting to think about all our subs and the fact we can actually rotate properly and not lose any quality on the pitch. Guessing we'll prob see Keets, Mana, Caitlin and Lotte start on Wednesday - maybe even Tobin, although she may just sub in earlier than she did tonight. Hopefully we'll see Jord back on the pitch too! This is what we've really missed in the last few seasons and is just what we need with the busy schedule ahead.

Little bit of video I took of the subs warming up - when was the last time we had so many first team subs available?!?!

Captain Kim I love you. I always do, but last night she was just brilliant.

Really want Frida to score - so close at one point! Thought she was excellent yet again, what a signing!

So pleased for all the goal scorers but Leah scoring right at the end really put the cherry on the top of a fantastic evening.

The confidence the team are playing with at the moment is just wonderful to see and it's so great to see, especially after last season.

Loved that because Katie and Beth both had to leave at their closest edge of the pitch when they were subbed off they basically did a lap of honour walking back to the bench with everyone cheering/singing for them as they went past.

The atmosphere was great tbh, seemed like a lot more than just over 2000 - I wonder how it came across on TV, especially as the City fans and their drum were much closer to the cameras/microphones than most of the sections of the crowd that were singing/chanting. Was really funny after Katie scored though - 3 separate sections of the crowd starting singing "We've Got McCabe" at slightly different times so it was a bit like they were singing a round 😂

Something that I really love about going to Arsenal games, especially when I've gone on my own, is that more often than not I end up chatting to the other fans I'm sitting with - there's something so lovely about sharing the experience of the game with people you don't know but share the same love for this team.

#long post #bit of a ramble tbh but just things i was thinking about #arsenal wfc #arsmnc #fawsl #god i love this team #and i bloody loved that game #really hope we can keep it up!#matchday ramblings #will sort out my photos later when i'm home - just thought i'd put a couple i'd taken on my phone in this

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voicefromthecorner · 2 years

Note

i followed you bc of your twewy lb but outside of that, do you use this account to liveblog other games as you play them?

No actually, and that's something I figured I'd address at some point, which might as well be now.

This is going to be an essay on the highs and lows of liveblogging from my experience with the TWEWY games here, so get ready for a long dissection (TL;DR, I hadn't done liveblogs prior to TWEWY but I'm open to doing more in the future but I'd prefer to keep them more smaller scale and less reactive if I did):

If you look at the start of my OG TWEWY liveblog, where this all began, you'll notice I didn't really kick this thing off with "welcome to my big liveblog" or anything like that. I just started posting out of the blue about stuff that I thought was funny or neat to comment on. Post frequency was far less and I didn't analyse nearly as much as I more regularly do now.

But people got really into it and, frankly, I got really into it, so it became a much much bigger and broader thing in scope and scale than where it started. So before long, I was writing essays about my favourite parts of the story and my favourite stages of the character development, as well as still cracking some short one-off jokes or just taking a moment to step back and let some great game moments speak for themselves (which tended to be the posts that got the most attention, which I think is really cool).

This was because I was just playing the Final Remix version for the first time and I noticed that I had the power to take screencaps, which I could then post here if I fancied. I love this game, I was on an excited roll at experiencing the Switch version for the first time and I didn't really have any real life peeps I could share that excitement with, so I figured I'd do that from time to time to add some fun to my playthrough and get to share my thoughts somewhere with some people who might enjoy it. It was just something I figured would be occasional one-off stuff.

So yeah, basically this all kinda blew up from me looking to talk about one of my favourite games ever which effectively created these two concurrent liveblogs. The process has noticably slowed the pace that I go through them, of course, though part of that is my own procrastination or real life busyness, but I don't regret doing it and a big part of the reason I've kept doing it is that I can't shut up about how much I love these games.

I will say, from running a liveblog on these two games as my first experience of it, I think I do prefer the first one as a liveblog. The version of the game was new but I had played the story through before so I knew what I was getting into ahead of time, which meant I had less questions and more answers or at least thoughts to give.

Reacting to a game for the first time in this format is fun, don't get me wrong, but the experience is always getting delayed in certain forms and maybe it's self-talk but I'm often feeling like I'm burning posts on being clueless or being excited at every new thing I see. I'm not ashamed of that, but I can understand if it's not the experience people are looking for, at least as much as a reaction or commentary on the game's bigger moments. Like I said, I keep doing this because I want to ramble and rant about absolutely everything like a madman but it's definitely going to lead to content that is first and foremost only slowing down my playthrough.

And that's the one thing that's a big downside. Again, no regrets - the experience is fantastic and I'm delighted that I get to share it with people who are enjoying it, but it's definitely easier to liveblog a game I've played before because there's no loss in my delayed ability to spend time on it. I know what's coming, therefore I know better how to post about it and I'm not adjusting the pace of a new experience to accommodate it.

In other words, I find this text-based liveblog format is best suited for returning to something old rather than discovering something new. It can definitely work well for both when people are more economic with their posts, but I like to overdo things. Reactive playthroughs are better served by more live formats, like video recordings or livestreams. I did try a couple of YouTube playthroughs in the past (one that I'd played before, one that I hadn't) but neither worked out too well because I don't have the patience for editing.

As far as the TWEWY liveblogs go, if you're enjoying my NEO playthrough, don't be concerned! I'm going to have a lot more freedom as of roughly next week so hopefully I should have more time to power through it and I'm definitely going to! We're in the endgame, so close to the final showdown and I'm determined to see this through to the end! We've come this far together and we will finish it together. And afterwards, expect me to still post about either game when the whim calls for it.

But I think while I'm open to doing liveblogs in the future, I'll likely save it for specific things that I'm already familiar with. I don't think I'll do something on this scale again (with possible exception to a TWEWY 3 if it ever gets made (keep the faith!)) unless I developed a more efficient system for running it.

And to anyone reading this who's encouraged me and/or still encourages me over the months so much on this wild ride that started out as one of those little 4-year-old caterpillar roller coasters that steadily evolved into a 100ft tall dragon that's determined to break the sonic barrier, thank you so much for the support! It's really special to have a little corner of the internet that's enjoying spending time on your antics.

#liveblog #me #ask #anonymous #twewy

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daresplaining · 6 years

Note

Hello! I've seen you guys mention Mr Fear a few times and his power and dynamic with Matt sounds fascinating. Could you elaborate on it when you get a mo? From what I know I'd love to see a version of him in S4

Ooh, yes, of course! There have been several versions of Mr. Fear, and they’ve all been nasty. (And yes, it would have been nice to get one of them in the show. I was really rooting for that.) I mostly know Mr. Fear in the context of Daredevil, which is where he/they originated, so that’s what I’ll be focusing on here, though I know at least one of them has appeared elsewhere as well. I appreciate the various Mr. Fears not just because they are terrifying antagonists, but also because of the sheer variety with which the basic premise– artificially inducing fear– has been depicted over the years. This has kept the identity fresh, and has helped them become more than just cheap knock-offs of DC’s Scarecrow.

If you just want reading recommendations, below are all of the issues I will be covering in this post. They encompass the full range of Mr. Fear’s history in Daredevil, from 60s wackiness to 2000s noir, and I think they’re all worth reading if you’re looking for the full Mr. Fear experience.

Daredevil volume 1 #6

Daredevil volume 1 #54-55

Daredevil volume 1 #90-91

Marvel Team-Up volume 1 #92 (not digitized)

Daredevil volume 1 #222

Daredevil volume 1 #314-315 (not digitized)

Fear Itself: The Home Front #5, “A Moment with… Mr. Fear”

Daredevil volume 1 #363-367 and 371-375

Daredevil volume 2 #95-106

If you want plot summaries and character commentary, read on:

The first Mr. Fear was introduced way back in Daredevil #6, as the leader of the Fellowship of Fear (a trio that also consisted of the Ox and the Eel). This first version had the fantastically supervillain-y name of Zolton Drago, and an appropriately wacky origin story: He is a humble sculptor, dismayed by the failure of his wax museum, who makes an astonishing discovery while mixing up chemical concoctions intended to bring his wax statues to life.

Drago: “I did discover something after all! Something I never expected! I’ve found a way to fill any foe with indescribable fear!!”

Caption: “For long weeks, the strange, haunted man worked, refining his discovery, learning all he could about the chemicals involved…”

Drago: “Perfect! Now I know that I can make all the “Fear Gas” I need! With such a discovery, I could become the most successful criminal who ever lived! […] I’ve modified an ordinary pistol to fire my new “Fear Pellets”! And now, for psychological purposes, I’ll create a costume… the perfect disguise for one who shall henceforth be known as… Mr. Fear!!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #6 by Stan Lee, Wally Wood, and Sam Rosen

There’s a certain goofiness in most Silver Age villains– Daredevil’s, in particular– but I find Wally Wood’s depiction of Mr. Fear’s skull-and-cape look to be genuinely creepy, and his Fear Gas is no joke. When hit with it during his first encounter with the Fellowship of Fear, Matt is rendered helpless with terror, and barely escapes with his life.

Matt: “Fumes! He fired a gas pellet at me! But, it isn’t tear gas! Nor is it poisonous! What can it be?”

Caption: “Suddenly, the sightless adventurer turns making a frantic effort to flee!”

Matt: “Both of them… about to attack me! No! Stay back! An air current! …Directly above me! That means an opening! It’s my one chance! If I can swing over in time! […] I just made it!”

Matt manages to defeat Mr. Fear at the end of the issue by, uh… positioning himself in front of a fan (seriously). But this is only the beginning.

Mr. Fear returns in Roy Thomas’s run, in Daredevil #54-55. This story starts with Matt faking his death to escape the consequences of a supervillain named Starr Saxon discovering his secret identity. His plan is to continue on as Daredevil and invent a new civilian persona for himself. But no sooner has he put this plan into action than Mr. Fear– who has recently been freed from prison– baits him on live television. Mr. Fear claims he can prove, without using his Fear Pellets, that Daredevil is a coward. And… he does!

Mr. Fear: “I neglected to mention my new power– to fill you with frenzied fear– with a mere gesture!”

Matt: “Tell me another one, friend! Now to– No– NO! That tingling I feel– that sudden sinking sensation! Drago was right! Suddenly, I feel– deathly afraid! Getting dizzy– just realizing how high we are–! And now– I’m falling! Nnooo!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #54 by Roy Thomas and Gene Colan

There are several stories during this period that focus on Daredevil’s reputation being tarnished, and this is one of them. The adoring public, who was watching the fight, now think Daredevil is a wuss, and Matt fears they might be right. It’s all a bit humorously melodramatic, but what matters is that Mr. Fear seems to have become an even more serious threat, since Matt is struck by that same fear the next time he goes out as DD, when Mr. Fear isn’t even around. In the end, after a quick call (courtesy of Foggy) to the prison where Drago was being held, Matt discovers the truth: Zolton Drago is dead and the new Mr. Fear is actually Starr Saxon himself, who stole Drago’s costume and equipment after murdering him. Matt confronts him with this revelation, after which Saxon accidentally falls to his death.

Matt: “Funny how Saxon died lunging for my billy club– the very weapon he’d been using to make me turn coward when we fought! Once Foggy called the warden, it was as simple as ABC! When Saxon briefly possessed Matt’s cane he rigged the club with these specially-timed Fear-Gas pellets… which his flying disk triggered during our first battle! It was his warped revenge on me… for ‘killing’ Matt Murdock to escape his blackmail threats! And, with that erudite explanation, I rest my case! DD, it’s been a looonng day!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #55 by Roy Thomas and Gene Colan

(Just for the record, Matt should have known it was Saxon from the beginning, because he would have recognized his voice/scent.)

Logic suggests this would be the end of Mr. Fear… but no! Matt and Natasha encounter him in San Francisco, in Daredevil #90-91…

Caption: “His arm jerks out– fingers brush– and then, the Widow tumbles away, her ebon-suited body twisting– her hands flailing, legs spinning–”

Matt: “TASHA! She froze up– couldn’t make the extra effort needed to complete the swing! Something about her heartbeat– rushing, panicky! She’s terrified! I’ve got to chance it– push away from the flagpole, try to grab her before it’s– too late!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #90 by Gerry Conway and Gene Colan

If the previous story was mostly melodrama, this one is viscerally frightening. Our heroes are struck, without warning, with bouts of overwhelming terror– a dangerous affliction for people who lead such risk-filled lives. With Mr. Fear seemingly long dead and no obvious source for these attacks, Matt and Natasha are helpless to prevent them.

Caption: “This is how it begins: as suddenly as a rifle shot, a surge of inexplicable fear courses through Matt’s arced body– and with that fear, all thoughts of contacting a friend on the staff of the Daily Chronicle seem to dissolve into darkness– abruptly buried under a grim sensation of choking– A sensation that builds as he spins helplessly at the end of his billy club wire! Trying desperately to regain control, Matt finds himself unable to think– and becomes increasingly aware of the terror clutching at his heart– a fright unlike any he’s ever felt before– a fear without cause– a horror without reason!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #90 by Gerry Conway and Gene Colan

Natasha is convinced the attacks are tied to a mission from her past, engineered by one of her former espionage allies. But in a surprise twist, the real culprit is a man named Larry Cranston– one of Matt’s fellow law school alumni, and one of his new law partners since moving to San Francisco. It turns out that Star Saxon was not the only person to benefit from the original Mr. Fear’s death, and with his jet pack, Cranston has been attacking Matt and Natasha from a distance.

Cranston: “I heard a sound from the room across the hall– voices arguing. A door was open– I looked in, and saw a man called Starr Saxon shoot another man– Zolton Drago, the original Mr. Fear. Drago lived long enough to tell me where he’d hidden his costume and equipment– he thought it would buy his life– Unfortunately, it wasn’t mine to give. He died as I held him.”

Matt: “But why did you do all this, Larry? And how did you know–”

Cranston: “When Matt Murdock moved to San Francisco with Madame Natasha– and Daredevil with the Black Widow– it wasn’t hard. And– I’ve always despised you, Murdock. In school, it was always– Murdock this, Murdock that– and I tell you, I’d had ENOUGH!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #91 by Gerry Conway and Gene Colan

Cranston isn’t the only person to notice the coincidence of Matt and DD both moving to California with Natasha– it’s actually amazing more people don’t figure out his secret identity because of this– but it is significant that he knows, since his motivations are so personal. His irrationally intense hatred of Matt, and their shared history, makes him a particularly eerie figure among the ranks of DD’s villains, and it will come back in his most horrifying appearance, in Ed Brubaker’s run (which I’ll be covering later). While he appears to fall to his death at the end of this issue (that sort of thing happened a lot in early Daredevil…), he isn’t gone yet.

Marvel Team-Up #92 introduces the next guy to inherit the Mr. Fear identity– Alan Fagan, Larry Cranston’s nephew. Like his predecessors, he attempts to find new, more insidious uses for the Fear Gas…

Alan: “Ha! I can’t wait to see the faces of those buffoons who said Alan Fagan would never amount to anything… They dared to laugh at me… because I kept getting thrown out of schools… wasted my father’s fortune… Well, I don’t need his money now– or their fancy schools! I’ve got something better than that now! They won’t laugh at me anymore– because I’ll make them deadly afraid of me… and I owe it all to you, Uncle Larry! You despised me– but your money and your Mr. Fear costume still fell into my hands after you died! I have the imagination to use the identity in ways neither you nor the original Mr. Fear ever dreamed of! My genius requires a large-scale reign of terror– and this radioactive isotope I stole tonight will bring it about!”

Marvel Team-Up vol. 1 #92 by Steven Grant, Carmine Infantino, and Carl Gafford

(Larry is around Matt’s age. Don’t ask me why his nephew looks so old.)

Alan is a little too cartoony in this issue to seem like a serious threat, but he is still dangerous.

Peter: “H-how… did you d-do this to m-me?”

Alan: “My Fear Potion, insect– injected through this ring when I hit you! I usually administer it as a gas, in dilute form– but a man of your power required a full-strength dose! You are mine, Spider-Man, body and soul– and we are going to conduct a little experiment! I am curious as to just how many injections of pure Fear Potion you can receive… before you die– of fear!”

Fortunately, Spider-Man and Hawkeye are able to take him out and send him to prison, but even that is not the end…

Daredevil volume 1#222, one of my favorite issues in Denny O’Neil’s run, opens with this chilling scene, during Glorianna O’Breen’s return flight from Ireland to the U.S.:

Caption: “This is Aer Lingus flight number 2241, originating at Dublin and bound for Kennedy. It will never arrive.”

Hijacker: “Stewardess– tell the pilot to put this crate down at the Tinkerville airport.”

Glori: “A man… with a wee plastic gun– the kind that the detectors don’t detect. A man of violence… bloodshed… the things I’ve seen so much of at home. Is there no escapin’ them, then? No!”

Caption: “Sudden, shattering the near-silence of the cabin– the shot sends a bullet into an unexpected target…”

Hijacker: “Aiiieeeee!”

Glori: “Funny odor… gas… Noooooo”

Pilot: “[…] You guys smell something?”

Daredevil vol. 1 #222 by Denny O’Neil, David Mazzucchelli, and Ken Feduniewicz

Matt, Foggy, and Becky receive news that Glori’s plane has crashed in a New Jersey swamp, and Matt and Foggy rush to the scene, fearing the worst.

Cop: “…Sorry I can’t tell you more, Mr. Murdock. But your friend Ms. O’Breen isn’t here.”

Matt: “Are you absolutely sure, Officer?”

Cop: “’Fraid so, sir. There were only fifty passengers on the plane– and we’ve accounted for everyone except Ms. O’Breen and two others– a Dr. Sadd and a local man named Julius Mudd. What I figure happened is, they were… well, their bodies were thrown clear. We’ll find ‘em when the rain stops.”

Matt (Caption): “Bodies… death– Another woman dead? Like Elektra? Like Heather? Another of my women dead?”

Refusing to believe that Glori was killed in the crash, Matt changes into his DD suit and sets out into the swamp to find her. Partway into his hunt, he runs into Natasha, who is searching for one of the other missing passengers– Dr. Ephesus Sadd, who acquired and subsequently improved a sample of the Fear Gas for use in chemical warfare. One of the great strengths of this story is the fact that the antagonist remains off-panel for significant chunks of the issue. Matt himself is not under attack, and so we, just like him, are left fearing for Glori’s safety as he and Natasha race to her rescue.

Meanwhile, Glori and Dr. Sadd are living through a nightmare. They have been kidnapped by the hijacker and his associates. It turns out that he was hired to assassinate Sadd and now– having seen his worth, but unaware of why he’s so valuable– he’s decided to hold him ransom instead. As the hijacker attempts to give Glori to his brother as a wife, Sadd decides to use his secret cargo to escape.

Dr. Sadd: “Before the ceremony begins, I would like to deliver a… a sermon! Yes, a sermon. Always at weddings there is sermonizing. My topic will be fear. It is a subject dear to me– a subject I have studied… a subject I cherish like a child. I have seen fear drive men to splendid achievements and crush them like insects… It is the force which lifted mankind from the primeval ooze and which keeps us from being as angels–”

Hijacker: “Git on with the wedding.”

Dr. Sadd: “Yes, the wedding. I have brought a gift–!”

Glori: “No! Don’t do it!”

When Matt and Natasha arrive, they encounter a horrific scene: Glori and her kidnappers, driven into a violent frenzy by fear.

Matt: “–Glorianna! Glori… are you all right?”

Glori: “No… no… no no NONONONO”

Matt: “[…] I was expecting to find people whimpering in terror… which is what the original Mr. Fear’s gas caused.”

Natasha: “Obviously, Dr. Sadd changed the formula. Glorianna and the others are reacting like cornered rats.”

The creepy conclusion of the issue is two-fold: It reveals a second version of the Fear Gas– one that drives people to lash out in fear, rather than being subdued by it. And it ends with Dr. Sadd dying of fear, despite the revelation that his canister of Fear Gas was empty– thus showing just how powerful terror, as a mere concept, can be. This is an issue in which Mr. Fear isn’t even present but is nevertheless still profoundly dangerous, and that sums up why he is such a good antagonist. Way back in Daredevil #6, Stan Lee commented that Mr. Fear shared certain similarities with the Purple Man, who had just been introduced two issues before, but these later stories are where those similarities really start to appear. Mr. Fear and the Purple Man are effective villains for similar reasons: they are both immensely powerful, manipulate basic facets of human nature, and can strike from a distance (or without even being directly involved at all!) with unpredictable and deadly consequences.

If this wasn’t creepy enough, Chichester goes full-on macabre with his Mr. Fear-centered story in Daredevil volume 1 #314-315 (not digitized yet– come on, Marvel!), in which he introduces another variation on Mr. Fear. This version is Alan Fagan’s daughter, Ariel, who uses the code name Shock, and who is both tragic and terrifying. While I’m generally not a fan of Scott McDaniel’s art style, it works to great effect here to depict the twisted gruesomeness of Shock’s physical appearance.

Matt: “All I have to go by is the sudden shift in the crude patterns my radar blocks out for me– only a hint as to the radical transformation that has seemingly occurred. Perceptions become clouded in the sudden wave of warm gases that wrap around me, raising the hairs on the backs of my arms. I’m still trying to make sense out of the sensations, trying to form a mental picture of what I’m dealing with, when the gases turn suddenly cold– and unease becomes an uncontrollable rage. Intellect knows better, but emotion overrides. Guttural sounds crawl up out of both our throats as we throw ourselves together– a railing grapple empty of technique and filled with a purpose no higher than to tear each other apart. In my head, I know we’re stories above the hard city streets. In my heart, I just want her dead before we hit.”

Daredevil vol. 1 #314 by D.G. Chichester, Scott McDaniel, and Christie Scheele

I think I’ve said it before, but I can’t say it enough– I love Chichester’s writing. What a way to end an issue!

Shock is yet another reinvention of the concept of Mr. Fear; her powers come from her body itself. She arranges for her father to be attacked in prison. His attackers cut the skin off his face(!), which Shock then uses to brew a concoction that when ingested, causes her to undergo a grotesque physical transformation and gives her the ability to literally exhale Fear Gas. (The idea is that her father’s skin absorbed traces of the gas, which could then be distilled). She uses these powers to cause mass hysteria by making people hallucinate things that anger and disgust them. Those in her sway turn primal and bloodthirsty. Matt’s battles with her turn into attempts to keep crowds of random civilians from killing each other.

Shock is also more sympathetic than any of the other Fear-styled characters. We learn that her father was neglectful, and she has been left alone to care for her ill mother. Her decision to take over her father’s identity comes from a desire to both overshadow his legacy, and to make money to pay for her mother’s treatments.

Shock: “That’s better. That’s steady… Oh, I worry so, Mommy! I’ve always worried! […] Keep going, that’s it, you’re doing fine…”

Daredevil vol. 1 #315 by D.G. Chichester, Scott McDaniel, and Christie Scheele

Matt subdues Shock by taking her by surprise, and tries to ensure that both she and her mother receive the help they need. He hopes this is the end of his Mr. Fear problem at last, but he is wrong. Sadly, Shock doesn’t appear again (I really like her), but her father recovers from his face-stripping and much later resumes the Mr. Fear identity– notably, just in time to provide this funny interlude during Marvel’s “Fear Itself” event:

Alan: “This is just terribly, terribly wrong. I mean, really– I’m Mr. Fear… but it’s not me making everybody queasy. Used to be I’d be the one dragging everybody’s deepest fears out of their closets, for all the world to see. Now the bar’s been raised– or is it lowered? Whatever. With everybody running around in a state of anxiety, nobody gives a damn about a guy named Mr. Fear. Yesterday, some loser stops me in front of Penn Station, gets in my face… yells, ‘Hey– Doctor Doom!’ Doctor Doom, for god’s sake. I mean, really– can you believe this?”

Fear Itself: The Home Front #5, “A Moment with… Mr. Fear” by Howard Chaykin and Edgar Delgado

In an overarching plot that starts toward the end of Karl Kesel’s run and extends all the way through Joe Kelly’s, Larry Cranston returns, miraculously alive and working as a law professor at Columbia University. (If anyone has started to get their Mr. Fears mixed up, Cranston is the one who attended law school with Matt and knows his secret identity.) He is more dangerous than ever, and works from the shadows to avoid detection. Armed with an extra potent version of the Fear Gas, Cranston enslaves people to do his bidding, sending his agents into Matt’s life to create chaos by infecting others with the gas. These victims are helpless to fight back, and Cranston seems to be able to engineer how they react. When convenient, they lash out with violence, becoming dangerous to everyone around them– while others are rendered obedient and docile by fear.

Matt: “Vinnie’s heartbeat is erratic, and his sweat carries a trace of ammonia… His body is rejecting something through the skin… the remnants of Fear Gas… Have to get through to him somehow…”

Matt: “…Vinnie, I’m here to help you. Vinnie… your wife and daughter miss you.”

Vinnie: “M-my wife? I– I don’t have a family. I can’t have a family… I don’t deserve one… *Gasp* Oh god. A-all I have… m-means nothing… nothing but the truth… yes… yes… I’ll be good…”

Matt: “(His voice… so distant… almost as if he’s not speaking to me… His pulse just sped up… shallow breathing… Could he be hallucinating?) They miss you, Vinnie. They want you to come home.”

Vinnie: “[…] Fear controls everything. Knows everything. Hears everything. Fear is God. I serve him… forever…”

Daredevil vol. 1 #366 by Joe Kelly, Gene Colan, and Christie Scheele

As Matt continues, barely, to fight back, Cranston increases his efforts to tear him down, concluding with sending a serial killer cop into his life and then framing Karen Page for his (the cop’s) murder. Karen is put on trial, and Cranston gleefully sabotages the proceedings from behind the scenes. Besieged on both sides of his life by someone who seems like an all-powerful force, Matt nearly gives in to despair.

Cranston: “How hang the scales of justice, Counselor? The blind lady treats her consort well, I pray.”

Matt: “(Kill him. No. Make him talk.) Why? Why Karen? Why us?”

Cranston: “Come now, Murdock… what good is a nom de guerre if I don’t back it up from time to time… I want you to lose your faith in everything. Your woman. Yourself. The system of justice you so carelessly flaunt when it suits you… because once you strip a man of his faith… all that’s left is fear. That… and an ex-junkie whore girlfriend in jail. Oh, I’m sorry… did that last part slip out?”

Daredevil vol. 1 #375 by Joe Kelly, Chris Claremont, Ariel Olivetti, Christie Scheele, et al.

Even when Matt finally manages to track down evidence against Cranston that he can use to prove his guilt and Karen’s innocence, he still nearly loses, because Cranston has a member of the jury under his sway. This juror nearly succeeds in releasing Fear Gas to impact the verdict, when he is stopped by– of all people– the Kingpin.

Matt: “What do you want, Fisk?”

Fisk: “Tut tut… such venom… towards a friend helping a friend. A present. The ghoul used hypnosis so you couldn’t smell the gas. Clever… but he should have chosen a juror with a stronger heart. He’ll live, don’t worry. Just with a pacemaker.”

Matt: “You– why? Why?”

Fisk: “Simple. Someone was playing in my sandbox… and no one gets to break you but me. Congratulations, Counselor. You won your woman’s freedom. With a little help from a friend. I trust you will remember the favor… when I return.”

Daredevil vol. 1 #375 by Joe Kelly, Chris Claremont, Ariel Olivetti, Christie Scheele, et al.

(D’aww…)

It’s a shaky victory, but it lasts all the way until the end of volume 2– when Ed Brubaker gives us the most upsetting Mr. Fear story to date in #95-106.

The setup for this story is similar to that of its predecessor: Matt’s life starts falling into chaos for reasons that aren’t initially clear. His law partner, Becky Blake, is urged by an old friend to help Melvin Potter (the Gladiator), who is accused of killing people while in prison. Matt and Foggy agree to help, since they have a long-standing relationship with Melvin and suspect foul play. But then, Melvin is sprung from prison and goes on a rampage, before nearly killing Milla Donovan (Matt’s wife) and then trying to commit suicide. This coincides with an increase in violent crimes throughout Hell’s Kitchen. Becky’s friend kills himself under mysterious circumstances. Matt knows someone has engineered all of this, but has no idea who.

Cranston: “Hello, Matt… I thought it was time I said hi. You can hear me… right?”

Matt: “What? Who is this?”

Cranston: “Heh, little joke. I know you can hear me, Matt. But I can’t hear you. And don’t bother trying to recognize my voice… even your ears couldn’t get past this voice-scrambler.”

Daredevil vol. 2 #97 by Ed Brubaker, Michael Lark, Stefano Gaudiano, and Matt Hollingsworth

Before too long, he learns the truth– Larry Cranston is back, and is more powerful than ever. With an array of underlings from all walks of life at his command and a new arsenal of fear-inducing chemicals (including a new drug he is distributing on the streets), he appears capable of just about anything. He singlehandedly throws Matt’s life, and Hell’s Kitchen’s criminal underworld, into chaos.

Cranston: “It was so simple, I can’t believe I didn’t discover it myself… the myriad ways in which fear affects the human brain. But it took Professor Dante Govich only minutes to realize the full potential of the drugs from my arsenal. His experiments– once he came under my persuasion– once he looked at me with fear and awe– made all this possible. Dante understood the links between fear and love… the synaptic paths from desire to paranoia to insanity. Under my thumb, he created new drugs beyond anything I could have dreamed of.”

Daredevil vol. 2 #102 by Ed Brubaker, Michael Lark, Stefano Gaudiano, and Matt Hollingsworth

The whole time Matt remains one step behind, and has barely figured out who his enemy is before he gets doused with one of the new versions of the Fear Gas. As a celebration of the hundredth issue of the volume, #100 features a visually stunning and thematically disturbing sequence of Matt tearing his way through the city streets, hallucinating enemies all around while still helpless to attacks from Mr. Fear’s minions.

Matt: “Your lies… mean nothing! You hear me, Fisk?! You hear me?!”

Cop: “… Heh heh… heh… Why do you keep… henh… calling me… Fisk? …Please… just stop hitting me…”

Matt: “Oh, God… No.”

Daredevil vol. 2 #100 by Ed Brubaker, Marko Djurdjevic, Michael Lark, Matt Hollingsworth, et al.

But Cranston’s most disturbing attack is inflicted upon Milla, Matt’s wife. Without Matt’s knowledge, she is dosed with a concoction that amps up her emotions and makes her violent when angry. Her new condition is the final blow to Matt’s mental state, as she risks jail time for accidentally killing someone. Cranston baits Matt by engineering her release, then– the moment Matt starts to experience some hope– has one of his minions sabotage her into committing another violent act, which gets her locked away for good.

Matt: “Milla, what have you done? What have they done to you? Milla, I can hear your heartbeat… your breathing… It’s me, baby… calm down… It’s Matt… I’m here.”

Milla: “But… I don’t understand… I don’t… I don’t know… I don’t know what happened…”

Matt: “I know. I know you don’t. It’s not your fault.”

Matt (caption): “I hold her tight, but she’s already gone. I can hear the sirens approaching from three blocks away. An ambulance and three police cruisers. They’ll be here soon… to take her away again.”

Daredevil vol. 2 #104 by Ed Brubaker, Michael Lark, Stefano Gaudiano, Matt Hollingsworth, et al.

Brubaker’s run is the darkest, most brutal Daredevil run to date, and this story plays a major part in that. As his failures pile up, Matt grows more and more desperate, more and more willing to cross lines he might not have crossed before. After beating and torturing Cranston’s whereabouts from one of his pawns, Matt hunts him down, ready to wrest the Fear Gas antidote from him any way he can… at which point Cranston deals the final blow to Matt’s psyche.

Cranston: “There is no cure, Matt. That’s why I had to kill Dante Govich… He was my chemist… Can’t believe that didn’t occur to you, Mr. Valedictorian. So go ahead, hit me some more. It means nothing… Everything you do means nothing.”

Matt: “No…”

Cranston: “’Cause I beat you weeks ago… you just didn’t know it.”

Daredevil vol. 2 #105 by Ed Brubaker, Michael Lark, Stefano Gaudiano, Matt Hollingsworth, et al.

This story is heartbreaking on every level. Matt goes through all of that, and achieves nothing. He loses. Cranston gets the last laugh. It’s also not a major supervillain victory. It’s not like Cranston was trying to take over the world, or anything. His motivations are personal and frivolous, and that somehow makes it worse. He just tears Matt’s life to pieces because he wants to, because he can, and because Matt is powerless to stop him, and then gets a little chuckle about it afterward. Of course, the real victim of this story is Milla, who is still, to this day, locked up in a psychiatric hospital– a heartbreaking (and, frankly, criminal) fate for such a fantastic character. This is also the last Matt has seen of Larry Cranston. He hasn’t had chance to retaliate, and in my opinion, this victory alone would cement Mr. Fear as one of the most dangerous Daredevil antagonists. The fact that the various Mr. Fears have been at the center of 55 years-worth of genuinely disturbing stories just further backs this up.

#soulfireinc #Mr. Fear #Zolton Drago #Starr Saxon #Larry Cranston #Alan Fagan #Shock #Adventures in Continuity #Recommendations list #Asks

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rixxy8173571m3w1p3 · 6 years

Text

September Song (2/3)

I’m sorry @kitten-wrath that this took so long, but I do hope you like it. @hoodoo12 @xerxezra thanks for brainstorming with me. Also, Ice Cream Rick belongs @porkchop-ao3. References to the flowers can be found here (The Language Of Flowers) and pizza rolls here (Sick Day)

Also, special thanks go to @her-victori for reading a majority of my fics in a short span of time. You Rock! As well to random anons who leave me sweet words in my ask box.

If you haven't read the first part of this fic then here's the link. (Read Part1 Here)

In this fic the reader tries to be more reserved and mature for Rick, but what will he think?

______

Chapter 2: These Precious Days

The mom and pop ice cream parlor which could be found at the edge of town offered over twenty flavors and twice as many topping options. Rick thought you'd prefer this quiet atmosphere over the crowd that would've surrounded Ice Cream Ricks truck in the Citadel; he was right. Though it really was a shame since Ice Cream Rick was actually pretty nice. After ordering, you two sat by the window with the best view of a lonely backroad and a white GMC truck.

“I-I-I like that you went for the rainbow jimmies.” Rick commented as he popped a mini gummy bear into his mouth.

“Hmm? Yeah, I like the texture.”

Which was true, but it wasn't the whole truth. You loved sprinkles on just about any dessert they could be placed on. They were fun, colorful, and your dad's favorite topping. They reminded you of good times. You continued. “And they're a classic. Wouldn't you agree?”

“I-I do. Would you say that y-your favorite flavor?”

Savoring the flavor of your chocolate ice cream, you nodded. “Yeah.”

Smiling softly, he seemed to be ruminating on this information, before storing it away and eating a spoonful of his pistachio ice cream. After a little while, he managed to get a bit of it on the side of his mouth, which made you giggle. And because old habits die hard, you picked up a napkin and wiped his face clean. Under your fingertips, his skin had that masculine roughness that came from constant shaving. Of course, you were familiar with it, but these slight reminders that came about by chance never failed to amaze you.

However, you were quick to pull your hand back because he wasn't a fan of public displays of affection, though it seemed to have the opposite effect, with him reaching out and placing your hand back on his cheek, and leaning into it. “I'm glad y-you were able to come with me today.”

Seeing as the shop owner was in the back room, you relaxed a little. “I am too.”

Rick was always a little funny when he got sentimental, which was why it didn't surprise you too much when his eyes bore through you as he said. “Me encanta estar c-contigo.”

“Rick,” you began, wanting to let this facade go and declare every single word of affection your heart felt inclined to say, but just as soon as you thought you were going to crack, you restrained yourself, and simply said. “your ice cream is going to melt.”

Several beats of silence passed, and he acknowledged what you had said, but he went on. “You - I-I sometimes wish I could carry you in my pocket, and have you look after me all the time, but th-that's silly isn't it? It's not realistic, and that w-would be selfish.”

“If it's you, then I don't think it is. While it wouldn't necessarily be practical to miniaturize me and carry me around, isn't the beauty of a relationship knowing that you're always on someone's mind and that they are out there somewhere caring and thinking about you?”

“Certainly, but what I-I meant to say is that it'd be nice if this was our life. If I could keep y-you and if you and me ugh - all th-the time…we - if we….” he faltered, fixing his eyes on something else in the room.

“You don't mean eating ice cream do you?”

With a sigh, he relinquished the hold he had on your hand, “N-no.” and continued to eat his ice cream; resigned, and slightly embarrassed. You couldn't help but feel a slight disappointment. It's not like he wanted to say the magic words. Right?

________

After ice cream, you two visited the bookstore on the corner of Kinder St and Lavue Ave; which had not only a coffee shop but a toy store connected to it. As soon as one entered into it, you were met with the latest best sellers, books on travel and wellness, as well as souvenirs; it was one of few places that didn't bother you if it was cramped. To your left next to the window were those mint boxes which said Adventure Awaits, and it filled you with gladness as picked one up; thinking of little things you'd put in it after all the mints were gone. For his part, Zeta-7 seemed to know exactly what he was going for, disappearing in the back where all the used books were. Not knowing whether to follow or look around, you just did as you pleased.

Past the Keychain holder, above the box of mini hands, you found a Mister Rogers mug. You loved that wholesome old man who used to teach lessons and play with puppets on PBS; Rick reminded you of him too. On the label, it said that when you added hot water to the mug, Mister Rogers would change from a suit jacket into his cardigan. Seeing as Zeta-7 hadn't returned yet, you decided to buy it and continued to look around until he soon returned with an older book in hand. “I-I-I hope I hadn't kept you waiting long.”

Facing the bookshelf, pulling out books that you were mildly interested in, you answered. “I knew you would show up eventually.”

Noticing the stack of books you had, he asked sweetly. “M-m-mi corazón, do you want me t-to hold those books for you? They look a-a little heavy.”

You weren't sure how long you could keep up this facade of being mature and not melting into a puddle everytime he said things like that, with him being as darling as he was. Nonetheless, you nodded and he lightened the burden on your arms.

“Wow,” he brightened. “I-I didn't know you liked Alexandre Dumas.” And picking out another book, he wondered. “Have y-you ever read this?”

“The Man In the Iron Mask? No,” you admitted sadly. “but when I was in high school I did read about a third of The Count of Monte Cristo. I even have a postcard that my old English teacher sent me from Europe that had a picture of one of the buildings that was used in the movie.”

“That's s-s-so cool. Do - do you enjoy classic literature?”

Wholeheartedly, you replied. “Isn't it the best kind?”

“I-I-I don't know,” he softened. “but I don't know what I'd do without them.”

You thought of his home library then, with its eclectic mixture of languages, colors, and topics, and it made you feel warm in your soul. “If your home library tells me anything, it's that you have a healthy appetite for books.”

He glanced at your lips after you said this, but made no attempt to follow whatever thought which might've come to mind. Instead, you two carried on a lengthy discussion on books, how many were a social commentary of the time period, and how they influenced the world you lived in. For once you didn't have to pretend you knew something you didn't, cause you did know. Quite intimately in fact. And within the small spaces between shelves and bodies, where you'd normally feel claustrophobic, you were safe amongst all the friends you had yet to meet amongst the pages, and with Zeta-7 whose warm words and tall body shielded you from the curious eyes of the cashier.

_______________

A stack of books sat quietly in the back seat of his car. Crickets chirped, and there were random feral cats here and there, but there was only you and him as far as you were concerned. September Song by Willie Nelson played on the car radio as he led you into a natural waltz next to the town lake, and moonlight reflected in his eyes. If you hadn't been so afraid of drowning, maybe you would've preferred to dance on the dock, but like this, it felt right.

Oh, it's a long long while

From May to December

But the days grow short

When you reach September

When the autumn weather

Turns leaves to flame

One hasn't got time

For the waiting game

With your head resting on his chest, he hummed along to the melody. More than once you heard a sniffle but assumed it was just Zeta-7 caught up in the moment again.

Oh the days dwindle down

To a precious few. ..

September, November. ..

And these few precious days

I'll spend with you.

These precious days

I'll spend with you.

You thought every day spent with him was precious, and you had to admit that you weren't sure at the beginning of your relationship if it would've worked out, but you were glad that the both of you took a chance, and had been pleasantly surprised ever since. And after all this time, now that it was the fall again, you wondered what the next year and the year after that would be like; the possibilities are endless. However, your train of thought was broken when Zeta-7 stopped dancing and stood there; covering his face, wanting to disappear.

“Rick?”

“I'm - I'm sorry, but I-I-I-I can't do this.”

“Can't do what?”

“I-I-I can't pretend that everything's o-okay. Something's th-the matter isn't it?”

“No there isn't.” you denied.

“Then why are y-y-you so quiet? Are w-we breaking up? Are you - are you leaving me?”

You literally wanted to smack yourself for being such an idiot. “No! Why would you think that?”

Using his phone, he paused the music and passed a hand through his hair in an attempt to calm himself. “Y-y-you haven't been yourself all evening. I thought for a moment that maybe th-things were alright back in the bookstore, but you - I know y-you were holding back. I know how much you love books, and writing is y-y-y-your passion, but you were hesitant in sharing your opinions on either subject. M-mi corazón,” he pleaded, the lines about his forehead and mouth deepening. “please b-be honest with me. Is this it?”

“No, it's not.”

Your plan, which you thought has been working went horribly wrong. So much for trying to act like an adult for once. Man, you only wanted to entice him, which you somewhat succeeded, but because of your stupid games, you'd led him to believe that you were unsatisfied with your relationship. If anything, you were unsatisfied with how you handled this. “Believe me Ricky, you haven't done anything wrong. In fact,” you sighed, your chest aching from the bloom of anxiety. “you've only been sweet and charming. But I….oh, I was only trying to impress you.”

“Huh? Wh-what?”

“Exactly. Whatever I thought I'd accomplish, it…..I only managed to mess it up. Again. You probably wouldn't get it,” Or maybe he would, but you weren't feeling like yourself. “but sometimes I feel like all you did was pull me out of my little bubble so I could wreak havoc. I'm not any different from hundreds of other versions of me, am I? Cause, if I'm like them, then how did I end up with you? How did I get so lucky to be with someone so wonderful? I hope they are happy because I am with you.”

With a hand pressed over his heart, a single tear made its way down his cheek. “M-me too. I'm so happy with you.”

“Somehow, despite all my inadequacies, you want me. I mean, is it stupid to believe that I just wanted to be different from all those other copies? That I just wanted you to think I was mature?”

Zeta-7 looked at you with a wistful hope in his eyes.“No, it's - it's not stupid. You - you did that f-for me?”

“Who else dear honey man of mine? Maybe it can't be helped and I'll just be what I am,” you confessed. “but for a moment I wanted to be different. So I gave myself the look and didn't overreact. And most of all, kept my mouth shut so you wouldn't get bored of my rambling. I know I talk too much.”

“N-no, that's not - have I led you t-to believe you weren't good enough?”

“Not on purpose, but I can't help but feel that way sometimes. We both know I'm not that special. I mean, the only impressive thing I've ever done is eat 37 pizza rolls, and not kill the flowers you gave me. I'm so sorry,” you cried, “I'm sorry you got stuck with an idiot.”

He pulled you in for a tight embrace, smoothing out your hair. “D-don't ever say that.” he cooed. “You're - you're clever, lovely, and always give me something t-t-to smile about.”

“Anyone can do that.”

Pulling back a little, he gave your shoulder a squeeze and softened. “N-no, not at all. Y-you give away dreams, smiles, and kindness. You're reliable, and I-I can trust you. And there is no one in the universe th-that could compare t-to you when it comes to being the perfect woman. If anything, I'm th-the defect here.”

“No, you're perfect Ricky.”

Placing a lock of hair behind your ear, he continued. “I'm glad y-you think so, but this isn't a-about me. You - you dressed up today, in a-a elegant dress that I'd n-never seen before,” and pressing a kiss behind your ear, he whispered with a little gleam of pride in his eyes.. “wearing the perfume I-I-I made you. Smelling like a-a dream.”

Again, how anyone considered this charmer a doofus you'd never know. “I had been saving it for a special occasion.”

“Everyday with you is - is special.”

“Oh Rick. That's…thank you.”

Pointing at your feet, “And I noticed that you're closer t-t-to my height today, but your feet must be hurting by now. Would y-you like to take them off?”

Oh, your feet were screaming. And now that you weren't pretending, you slipped out of your shoes which made you lose about four inches. Picking up your shoes and shoes and dusting them off, he continued. “That must feel better. I-I-I had to wear heels for a case once. It ugh - it's not practical when y-y-you have to run.”

“Right? I don't see how other women do it, cause I can't. I'm not even sure why I own them. I should just burn those things.”

You'd say it was half relief, half joy that made him laugh wholeheartedly at this, and you didn't see how it could be so funny. You poked him and pouted, and he delighted in this. “See?” he chuckled, looking at you in that funny way he did from time to time.

“See what?”

“This. This is th-the girl I fell in love with,” he stated matter of factly. “the one who likes t-to be comfortable, speaks her mind and prefers those jeans with th-the rip on the side. Not to mention those graphic t-shirts. Or cute pj's.”

Your breath caught a little at this confession. How could the smartest man in the universe adore an impertinent person like you? Maybe the same way you could love the smartest man; you just do. In your girlish voice, you said. “I only wanted you to be proud of me.”

Holding you a fraction tighter, he pressed a light kiss to your temple and chuckled sweetly. “Y-you already do princess. Today y-you made an effort for me, and that's impressive, but honestly, I want you t-t-to be comfortable and dress up how y-you like. You as yourself is what impresses me, because you have s-s-so much spirit, and I - that's what makes y-you gorgeous.”

This time you didn't even try to hide your blush.

“Oh Rick, hearing you say that really does make me feel silly. Why did I do this to myself? What was I thinking?”

“I believe y-you're still trying to figure it all out like the rest of us, and I can't get mad at you for th-that because you're wonderfully human. You had good intentions, and th-that's what counts.”

“Can you forgive me?”

“I al-already have.”

TBC

#doofus rick #doofus rick x reader #rick sanchez x reader #j19z7 #rick j19z7 #rnm fanfic #my writing #my works

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