#it's also the memories that come with those images bc it was such a cool experience and we had so much fun and we did it all together

[jayswing101]

March 2024 - Yangshuo, Guangxi province, China

[sunny-flake]

wait omg analysis time bc I am LOSING my mind

I wanted to start with these two, because in the broad image they are looking at each other

In HW, only one song is played ever, and I feel like he may be a bit lost on trying to join in, and is looking to Four for help. Four has notices this, but doesn't understand why he's looking at him. Probably?

LEGEND. LEGENDLEGENDLEGEND LEG. THE LAD. Excuse me as I just- OMG HES USING ONE OF THE LA INSTRUMENTS ANAKAMSKKFJRJJDJD

Aside from that, he looks OVERJOYED to be able to play one of those instruments, and is just having a wonderful time. Good for you bud :)

These two made me laugh, bc I know that Twi had to probably go off onto the woods or something and come back to join in the only musical way he knows. To which Wind, who probably here still knows Twi & Wolfy as two different people. Confused small bean <3

SKYYYYYY THE BOYYYY!!!! In past comics, Sky has said that playing the harp helps remind him of Zelda, and whatever they are playing seems to give good memories

ALSO ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT THE WIND? Throughout the peice there seems to be wind going to the left. You can see this especially in Hyrule. But for Sky, ONLY HE, has a strong wind going to the right. Not sure what that implies but it's cool

I know I've already seen a few things talking about time and how he has the Zora guitar from MM, which I do think it's cool because it implies that Time still has the MM masks on him.

Not much to say about Hyrule, except for the fact you can see the wind I was talking about earlier, and I like the fact that he's playing a recorder, not a Flute, a flute would've gone to the side

Finally we have Wild, who is instrument-less and the audience XD

Petition to have Wild get out a bunch of stakes and some mallets and just be percussion in the bg lmao. No other words here

I imagine the Spirit of Cadence of Hyrule Link is smiling down of everybody

[jasntodds]

Too Heavy | J.T.

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Request: @just-lost-inbetween-worlds​ : Can I get Jason Todd (doesn’t matter which version) with the prompts: bloodied knuckles, wiping the others tears away, as well as crying into their chest. Maybe bloodied knuckles bcs of punching something in a mental breakdown and then the rest happens.  Bad Things Happen Bingo Prompts

Summary: Sometimes things get a little too heavy for Jason

Warnings: Angst, blood, mentions of death, mental breakdown, hurt/comfort

Words: 2,802

A/n: I was listening to a lot of Too Heavy by The Plot In You while I wrote this so here we are lol If you wanna be added to my tag list, click the link below, send me an ask, or comment!! You can also follow my library blog @peteprkerlibrary​ !! If you like this, please reblog it and/or talk to me about it!!

masterlist | request info | tag list

Everyone has bad days. They come and they go. It gets better. It always gets better. But for Jason, his bad days are sometimes so rough and harsh, the world collapses from under him. He falls through the cracks into a black abyss, surrounded by every failure he’s ever had. He falls and falls and falls until he finally hits the bottom and the wind is sucked from his lungs in a hard smack. Leaving him alone in the pitch black coldness. Today is one of those days.

He’s just gotten back from patrol and he was quiet not to wake you. He walks steadily to the bathroom but his thoughts are circling the drain. Every step he takes is like twenty pounds added to his ankles and another thought joins the damned ride. Jason’s chest grows heavy as he finally reaches the bathroom, quietly shutting the door behind him.

The worst nights of patrol involve kids and tonight did. It’s always the most innocent of people that get to him. Most nights, he can handle it because it’s part of the job. It’s one of the reasons he puts the helmet on every night. But tonight is different. Tonight is different because it didn’t have the hopeful ending it should have and it’s not fucking fair.

Jason’s hands grip the bathroom counter so hard he thinks he might shatter it in his palms. He almost hopes he does. He looks at himself in the mirror, his back slightly hunched over and he looks hollow. A discarded shell of who he should have been. And he can’t stand it. His head spins while his eyes slam shut and his grip tightens harder against the cool stone.

His chest starts to heave as his breathing quickens. His chest grows heavy and he wants to start ripping out every single one of his organs in hopes it’ll lift some of the weight. The heaviness is suffocating and if he didn’t know any better, he’d think this would be his end.

But he knows better.

And this is the never-ending hell he’s trapped in while the inability to save the kids tonight triggers memories to flood back like overflowing rivers in a flash flood.

There’s the echo of metal on concrete seeping into his blood stream and that menacing laugh that never should be called a laugh beats against his eardrum. The feeling of the panic he felt that day wraps him in a cruel and painful hug as if to be living off of his inability to breathe properly. Images of the Joker and the look on his mom’s face flash across his eyes and he can’t take the heaviness of it all anymore.

The grief he suffers with is nearly paralyzing and it is agonizing. They say grief gets better but when is it that supposed to happen? Because it’s been years and he can’t breathe and he wants to rip his lungs out of his chest just to feel anything other than this. He was just a kid.

Jason was a just a kid.

Tears burn his eyes, one slipping by and sliding down his cheek and he grits his teeth so hard they nearly shatter under the pressure. All he wants is for it all to stop for even a second. He wants one damn second of relief.

He looks up at his own reflection once more and he can see some bruising from last week and he hates it. The white streak in his hair almost seems whiter in the light of the bathroom and he hates it. He hates it. He hates it and he can’t do it. He punches the mirror in a quick motion, just once and it shatters into the sink and over the counter.

“Fuck.” Jason groans because he knows it was loud and he can’t stop the tears now. They’re drenching his face and his breathing is racing, quivering.

Blood spills into the sink as Jason hovers his shaking hand over it. Not a single part of him even cares or pays the stinging any mind. All he can do is try his best to breathe and shake his thoughts away but nothing works. They’re still there. Flashing across his eyes like lightning in the middle of a raging storm.

His legs start to feel weak as if he’s just gotten done running for miles on end. It’s getting harder to stand the more he tries to fight his own breath and thoughts. His head spins and he his stomach turns and twists into gnawing nausea. And he can’t even be bothered to stand anymore because that is just getting too damn hard too. His own body is growing too heavy with every passing thought and he swears that’s some sort of cruel joke.

Jason sits on the floor against the counter, hanging his head and pulling his knees up to his chest. Tears fall down his cheeks and he tries to fight them off with every thought he has but nothing works. They fall anyway, staining his cheeks in a wet mess.

“Jason?” You call from outside the door. 

The shattering of glass woke you up and for a few seconds, you thought someone had actually broken in. And you were nearly frozen, stuck thinking if you had a weapon of any sort in the bedroom you could use. But then those seconds faded and you didn’t hear footsteps or shuffling through the apartment. You didn’t hear anything and when you checked the time to see it was after three, you knew.

“Jay?” You call again, knocking on the door gently when he doesn’t answer.

Your groggy voice breaks his heart. He never meant to wake you up.

Jason slides his hands over his face and clears his throat. “Go back to bed, sweetheart.” Jason tries to stabilize his voice but you can hear the weakness and quiver. He’s mastered the art of hiding pain but not disguising the pain of crying.

Taking the knob in your hand, you twist it slowly, gently pushing the door open. You spot Jason still in his Red Hood gear, minus the helmet, sitting on the floor with drops of blood on the floor. He keeps his head hung and his forearms on his knees. You spot blood on his knuckle with open wounds before you see the broken mirror and your heart just breaks for him.

You step in slowly and cautiously as if moving too quickly will make him dissolve right into the floor. “Hey,” You crouch down beside him, tilting your head to try and get a look at his face that’s covered by his messy hair. “What happened, Jay?”

“I’m fine.” Jason forces the words from the back of his throat and he hates how weak they sound. 

You don’t like the answer because anyone who’s fine doesn’t break a mirror. Anyone who’s fine doesn’t sit on the bathroom floor at three in the morning with bloody knuckles crying. He’s not fine but Jason has never been very good at admitting to anyone when he’s not. He’d rather drown than ask for a life preserver.

You move in front of him, sitting on your knees. You reach out cautiously, putting your hands on his wet cheeks. Jason’s eyes shut down hard with your touch and you’re so gentle with him. Why? What’s he done to deserve it?

You pick his head up softly and Jason lets you. His eyes are bloodshot as he looks at you. His pretty blue eyes are now a haunting shade of navy, like the sky over the ocean in the middle of hurricane. Why does the world treat him with such cruelty?

“Please, go back to bed.” He nearly begs you because you shouldn’t have to deal with all of his trauma.

It’s not fair for you to lose sleep over him. He swears you shouldn’t and you don’t deserve it. All he wants is to be alone with his grief. If anyone has to suffer what he went through, it has to be him. It can’t involve you. Not you.

But you’re stubborn and that thing in your chest beats endlessly for him.

You can see his chest moving harshly with every breath and he might be Red Hood but he was Jason Todd first. A kid trying to survive the best he could. A kid who just wanted to learn and be a kid. Smart mouth and relentless as hell. But a kid no one looked out for. Red Hood looks out for so many people, but who’s supposed to look out for Jason Todd?

“Please, I’m fine.” Jason voice finally cracks as a tear escapes his bottom lid. “Just go to bed. I’ll be there a minute.”

You move your hands from his cheeks and he thinks, for a second that for once, you might actually listen to him. And he’d be lying if that didn’t hurt, too. But, it’s you and you were never very good at following his instructions even on good days so you move closer to him and stretch out your arms.

“Come here, Jay.” Your voice is soft, etched in worry and love.

He’s reluctant at first because he knows if he does, he’ll lose it entirely. Every piece of him that’s been able to hold in a sob will finally crack and that’ll be it. But he sees the worry in every tired line of your face and you always look so inviting.

“I’m worried about you. Please.” You plead with him, your voice cracking with a mix of tiredness and sadness. And Jason can’t hold it in anymore because you’re worried about him.

Jason moves his legs and moves closer to you, resting his head against your chest because at his point, it’s all too heavy for him to even try for a proper hug. And folding into you seems a hell of a lot easier for everyone. You wrap one arm around his side and rest your other hand in his hair. And just like he breaks.

A sob rips through his throat, echoing through the bathroom and you have to swallow the lump that forms in your throat. He shakes against you, sliding his hands to your back and holding onto your shirt. His grip is tight as if he’s stuck between thinking you’ll disappear if he lets go or that he’ll disappear if he does. Your hand runs through his hair and you try to console him, knowing there isn’t much that can help at this point. But you try by playing with his hair and whispering softly to him despite your own heart aching and breaking for him.

Tears brim your own eyes as you hold him against you. If you could, you would claw out your own heart and replace his with yours. Maybe that would help some of his agony. Maybe that would make his pain a little more tolerable. Maybe if you could swap out your hearts, you could take some of his pain away. You’d do it if it meant he wouldn’t suffer so much.

Minutes tick by and his breathing is still harsh against you but the sobs have slowed. His grip is still iron-tight on your shirt and all Jason wants is for the world to stop spinning. He wants the aching in his chest to stop and he wants everything around him to stop feeling so damn heavy.

You pick his head up, cupping his cheeks in both hands again. His cheeks are tear stained and you swear you’ve never seen him look so broken before. Your thumb awipe over his cheeks, brushing the tears away gently.

Jason nearly shudders with the action.

“It’s okay, Jay.” You assure him and your voice is strained as if begging him to believe you.

“It’s fucking not.” He sputters, his brows pulling together and you can see him clench his jaw. “It’s all shit and those kids deserved fucking better.” His breath is hot, boiling on your skin as he seethes. And you know what lead him here tonight.

He told you. Right to your face he told you he died. He left out the gory details of it all for your own sake but you know he was just a kid. And you know why he was there and about the Joker. He was just a kid.

“Kids?” You questions and you know Jason always has a bad night when it involves kids.

“Forget it.” He lets out a scoff because he doesn’t want to talk about it. You don’t need to know the details.

“Hey, no.” You shake your head, eyes scanning over his face as your brows pull together. “I’ll listen all night, okay? I won’t ask anything if you don’t want me to, okay? You can talk or not. But, you’re gonna be okay.” Your eyes lock with his and he wants to believe you.

But he also knows he’ll back here again. He always comes back here. Haunted. The ghost of who he was then and the ghost of who he should have been follow him. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to shake them as much as he wants to.

He places his hands over yours and you can’t help but notice how big his hands are whenever he does this. “Just so damn sick of it.” His voice is rough and exhausted.

“I know.” You nod with understanding.

You’ll never be able to understand how he feels or what he goes through but you try. And you see it across his face. You see it in the way he turns in his sleep, when he actually gets sleep. You see it in the way he’s always observing everything around him, always on guard. And you can see it in the way he is with his weapons, there’s always at least two weapons on him at any given moment. As much as you want to understand exactly what goes on inside of his head, you won’t but you can see it. So, you try your best to help and just be there in capacity he’ll let you.

“Why don’t we get you in the shower? I’ll wash your hair, clean up your hand, and we can get into bed? I’ll rub your back and you can tell me what happened if you want. Or I can read to you until you fall asleep.”

He’s almost always reluctant when it’s been bad. He never thinks he deserves the kindness and care you offer to him. On good days, he can accept it. It’s something he struggles with still because no one ever been so kind and careful with him before. So, it’s hard but on good days, he finds it easier to accept. But on bad days, like these, he’s reluctant because if he can’t see the good himself, why should anyone else? But he looks at your eyes that glossy with worry and you give him this look that makes him feel like he’s been put under a microscope. And you would do anything for him.

“Thanks.” He mutters, taking your hands away from his face. “I got it.”

“I know.” You nod your head. “I want to.” You smile gently at him, tilting your head slightly to the right. “You’re not alone, ya know?” You assure him because you think it must be lonely dealing with everything he goes through. “I got you.” 

He knows. As hard as it is for him to accept the care and kindness you offer him, he knows because he notices everything. He notices how he always wakes up with a blanket on him when he falls asleep on the couch and the way you always have his favorite protein bars on hand even though you don’t like them. You’re the one missing sleep when you have work in the morning to sit on the bathroom floor with him. It’s hard to accept sometimes and he gets in his own head about it sometimes, but at the end of the night, he has you.

And you’ve always had a way of lifting some of that weight for him, maybe without even trying.

“Okay.” Jason finally agrees, still a hint of reluctance in his voice.

You get to your feet and offer him your hand.

He almost chuckles because you can’t actually help him from the floor. But he takes your hand in his anyway, getting to his feet. You look up to him with gentle eyes before closing the distance between the two of you and wrapping your arms around him as tight as you can.

It takes a few seconds before you feel Jason relax under your hug and his arms come around your waist. His chin lays on the top of your head and he feels like he can breathe a little better now. 

When things get a little too heavy, at least he has you to help lift some of the weight.

Tag list: @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @dgraysonss // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @vivian-555 // @kebonita // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover // @captainmarvels-blog​

[thief-of-eggs]

HELLO LOVE <3

Brainworms have been worming extra hard since I stumbled upon your Bruce and Jay post (plus the doomed narratives one,, BELOVED), honestly those two make me so fucking ill oh my god. The tags on ur post? So true. Kith ur tags on the head. LO VE LOVE <3333 adding a little to the discussion since I am ill (and if you don't mind!!)

LOVE THE DOOMED NARRATIVE because their reconciliation is never possible imo. Grief is a wretched force that has twisted Jason's memory from the image of his beloved son into a detached, reckless amalgamation. Bruce compartmentalises to such a degree that if he has to keep functioning (both as Batman and as Bruce Wayne) that he can't possibly face the fact that his actions killed his son. His mission born out of the death of his parents couldn't have killed that bright child who was albeit a little angry at times but so full of compassion and life, right? Right?

But he has to continue. And because he does, he has to, on an internal level, make himself believe that Jason was doomed from the start. That he was too reckless. That he was too much of a mess. That he should've never been Robin (which is true in a different sense, but this line of reasoning is not it) and was destined to die. Bruce's messy cycle of grief has concluded. Acceptance comes in the form of his cherished son now being seen as 'his greatest failure, a reckless Robin, a good soldier.'

And unfortunately, the whole thing about Jason is that he is continually trying to communicate with the Bruce he remembers before he died. They're both on completely different pages in this conversation, and Jason is so mentally ill—oh my god, PTSD?—and he's trying to communicate with someone who doesn't remember him as he was. Plus, Gotham is such an intrinsic part of him that he can never pull away from it. He just gets stuck in a cycle, continually pulling away and then reaching out, and then pulling away—essentially in Limbo.

SJSJOSAOSKSOS I DO LOVE THE BRUCE AND JAY RECONCILE NARRATIVE 😭😭 THEY'RE BOTH NUANCED CHARACTERS, I BELIEVE IN THEM BUT GOD... the amount of growth they'd have to show from both their sides for that to ever happen??? YEAH. NO. 😭😭 AaaaaAAAA

ANYHOW. RANDOM WORDDUMP. U HAVE COOL AF POSTS !!!!! much love !!!!! Thank u for appearing on my tl :D !!!!!

HELLO HELLO!!! WELCOME !!

PLZ add on omg RAHHHHHH !!! Nothing makes me feel more loved as a writer and poster than seeing people get inspired by my silly little words and seeing them expand on !!!!

Also yes yes YES Jason Todd is one of my favorite muses for doomed narratives!! Every single goddamn relationship that kid attempts to have is destined to fail. From his mom to his short-lived time as Bruce’s apprentice/son, to his fragile and tense relationships with his almost-but-not-quite siblings.

Jaw on the floor, first off. Do you write??? Please do you write???? I need to read more of your words if so bc you understand these characters on SUCH a deep level UGH

“-he can’t possibly face the fact that his actions killed his son” - THIS THIS THIS !!!! Bruce is an immovable wall with Jason because he CANNOT accept the accountability. It’s like Jason is having a completely different battle with him, because Jason sees things for as they are, if not a little tainted by his own begrudged feelings, but meanwhile Bruce is seeing things through a clouded lens of denial. Bruce doesn’t understand the pain he caused Jason because he cannot even see it. It does not exist in his mind. Because to accept the pain is to accept WHY the pain is there, which in turn would just spiral out of control and Bruce is forced to accept that his no-kill ideal ended up digging his son’s own grave.

Ugh LOVE the idea of Bruce gaslighting himself into thinking this was how it was always fated to be. Putting the blame not on himself or Jason or the Joker, but on some higher being that he doesn’t even believe in. It’s such a Bruce coping mechanism. Sweeping everything under the rug bc now he can’t see it. IM UNWELL

YES YES THEY ARE ON SUCH DIFFERENT PAGES!!! YOU GET IT!!! They literally are having two separate conversations and neither understands why their words aren’t sinking in to the other. They may as well be talking to their own hallucinations at this point- Jason at the memory of his father and Bruce at the doomed ghost of a boy who once was.

And YUP that’s why I write little “good dad bruce” fics and read so many too, because I WANT them to reconcile but… in the actual real world reality? I think the best they could do is an uncomfortable middle ground. Where Jason is no longer antagonized, but not exactly welcomed either. He’d have an expected seat at the table, but he’d never come. He’d be on every place card, every invite, but he’d never show up. He’d be included, but would choose to stay away. And that breaks my heart but also I truly don’t think either of them can go beyond that. In an effort to cling to familiarity and sanity and a guilt free life, Bruce pushed his biggest regret away. He could have had his son back, but instead he chose to believe it couldn’t be true. And like the greatest self fulfilled prophecy, he made it true.

ANYWAY THANK YOU FOR STOPPING BY AND BLESSING MY INBOX !!! seeing so many words made my itty bitty heart so happy. biggest MWAH to you <33

[anonymouscheeses]

I got no idea when I sent my last ask bc I have the memory of a rock but ongomgomg I love ur chaggie art!! I always get so happy to see someone actually appreciating them bc it feels so rare to find sometimes

Also Lucilitheve is based asf I’m making a fic about them and it’s so cool to see other people ship them

AHH!! /POS

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! CHAGGIE IS MY WORLD RIGHT NOW. I CANT HELP BUT APPRECIATE THEM WITH MY WHOLE HEARTT

YES YES LUCILITHEVE IS AWESOME AND HAS SO MUCH POTENTIAL! I WANT TO READ IT IF/WHEN IT COMES OUT IF THATS COOL WITH YOU? I LOVE THOSE THREE SMM I NEED MORE CONTENT 😭🙏

Uhhh idk if ur interested in my chaggie human x demon AU or not! But I still felt like leaking an image for it because I'm making a post about the exorcist this Friday! Yippeee!

This is Kamaria, she's kind of the leader of the exorcist since they aren't involved with Adam anymore. I'll go into more detail in that post :>

[crushedsweets]

it’s been a while back so i’m w more song analysis!! this is too long i’m warning u now. in fact this might not even be readable im so sorry it’s just. so much rambling 😭

when memories snow (more mitski mm also i got tickets for her tour and i will not shut up ab it!!! she’s so cool!!!!!!!) is incredibly tim coded. the very sinister chords at the chorus, really makes you *feel* him spiralling - and the LYRICS ugh very ‘i’m trying to ignore/suppress my memories but they keep coming back against my will’ slash ‘bottling up all my feelings and forging on with my work. pretending they don’t exist’

hate yourself by tv girl is very nina x kate (in the sense of kate watching nina destroy herself for a man who does not even like her) ough. ‘i think you’d fall in love with anyone who fell in love with you / and they frequently do’ BC KATE DID!! kate fell in love with her!! also ‘i’ll just wait til those arms belong to me’ is so subtly manipulative which is very. yeah. kate’s definitely not perfect and i wouldn’t put her above being like that if she really wanted to. + the deceptively happy instrumental with vaguely dark lyrics = nina being overly outgoing and social to make up for the fact that her mental state is in absolute shambles (poor bby)

the wolf by siamés is both tim and brian but i think leans more brian (what is it with this man that makes me think of ‘walking music’. ykwim? the chain, the wolf, house of the rising sun all remind me of him. all very slow-threatening-determined-walk songs) once again, driving beat, heavy bassline. (i play bass guitar so i love a song w an interesting bass part) i think shows resilience as well as grounding - imo he’s always been one of the more mature / level-headed creeps, to the point he’s very self aware. this man knows exactly what he’s doing at all times. ‘somewhere far away i can hear your call’ even in the future when he thinks he’s escaped from slender he knows deep down he’ll never be truly free…. yes ok

keep myself alive by get scared for jane. she’s so angry - AS SHE SHOULD BE and i feel it’s just a audible version of her rage. ‘i just wanna leave this place behind / everytime i see your face in mine’ because her and jeff have the same burned face thing going on…….. ough. she can never escape from the man who ruined her life. the guitar shifting from this melancholy, reverb-y tone in the verses to the loud distortion in the chorus reflecting her mood shifting from self-pity to raw anger

bonus: class of 2013 by mitski x toby

i should rlly make a playlist for each creep but i use musi not spotify 💔

- 🌙 anon

sorry for making u read all of this ❤️

anon. oh my god. i need you to know how often i think about this ask. and how guilty i feel knowing i shouldve responded forever ago but kept putting it off. im going to respond now with shame. thank you so much for your patience. my god

when memories snow for tim is soooo real. i associate him with a longing for life before slendy, while also repressing it cuz it hurts knowing itll never ever come back. going to bars, hanging out in his friends apartments, going to class, late night driving... "I shovel all those memories, clear the path to drive to the store" i think even the imagery of him shoveling snow out of a driveway gives off that sort of strong, cold idea of him. and 'drive to the store' obv being...proxy work... SO SAD

ALSO FUCK NINAKATE MENTION IM IN TEARS ok listen. theyre both really bad. and i super agree that kate might be a bit deceptive and manipulative (intentionally or not) cuz she wants nina to completely remove jeff and take his place (NOT HIS ROLE, just his place in ninas arms). also "how long will it take before you start to hate yourself and go straight to the arms of someone else" i think its undeniable that ninas obsession with romance is related to her own self image, and kate doesnt really like herself that much either. "im not saying that you love me, im not saying anything" OHH BUT SHE WANTS NINA SOOO BAD... man.

also im absolutely in love with how you take the sound itself into account, not just lyrics. the way you explain the wolf connecting to brians determination, reslience, and grounding presense is SOOO PERFECT and i can see it in the first few lyrics as well. the also "sneaking in the pain, every truth becomes lie / i wont trust myself once i hear your call" THATS TIM AND BRIAN COME ON GUYS DO YOU HEAR THIS

also i love keep myself alive. i heavily agree she has every right to be angry, and thats a core part of her character - rage, grief, strength. "to sleep i of course think i'm stronger now / to sleep i gotta catch myself" im crying. the sleep menton + she feels alone. she has a support system, a literal wife, but she still holds all of her grief on her own shoulders. who the fuck else can relate to being violently stalked for months, walking in on your parents being tortured together, being attacked, nearly burnt alive, then LOSING your parents? also "how could this dark cloud make me stronger now" i think a lot of people would have told her that her experience made her a survivor and made her strong and whatnot. but i dont think she feels that way. i think she feels like a victim, she feels tortured, she feels like that same little girl who'd sleep in her parents bed after a nightmare - but this isnt a nightmare she can wake up from. her parents bed burnt to ashes. there is relief in just letting yourself grieve and hurt - but she's so beyond focused on being strong. and it doesnt make sense to her. doesnt make sense how she can be strong after all of that . but she is, cuz she has to be

ALSO YES OH MY FUCKING GOD CLASS OF 2013 DFUCK FUCKFUCKF FIFJF FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKK i dont even need to explain why this gets me. yall already know. my god

[mirahuyooo]

Lover’s Eye | ksj

Lover's Eye

— They say the eyes are the windows to one's soul. His just also happen to open the door to your heart.

Word Count: 5,448 Pairing: Kim Seokjin × Reader Contents: ANGST, roMANCE, FLUFF, dRAMA, PINING, star-crossed lovers 😭, oh the woes of being a woman in a historical period, misunderstandings being cleared uwu, KIM SEOKJINNN, Historical-ish AU (but with fictional places bc i didnt want to think of being historically accurate lol)

[masterlist] | check out the [moodboard]!

A/N: IT’S LATE but happy birthday jinnie 😭💞💖💗 I wanted to write something for him, but I didn’t want to write about him leaving for the military bc it’s a bit on the nose, so here you guys go instead! it’s an old fic idea that i recently revamped lol 

Fun fact! The concept is based on the Georgian tradition of having an accessory (necklace, brooch, bracelet, etc.) that depicts an image of the eyes or an eye of a secret lover, spouse, or other loved ones. This is often common for those in secret affairs, protecting their lover's identity but at the same time be able to express their love (and I think that's pretty uwu if ur star-crossed lovers ✋😭💞)  

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! 💗💗💗

Your paradise is an old ruin on the outskirts of the city—a once great fortress now left to rot a hundred years after its last great feat—but in that crumbling mess of stone and moss are remnants of beautiful memories you constantly rekindle for some semblance of a warmth long gone. The pleasant weather emanates most of the feeling—warm sunlight peeking through the overgrown trees and cool breeze caressing stray hairs away from your face.

It’s a spot under one of the trees where you usually tuck yourself into and leave the rest of the world behind for your own peace of mind. It offers the perfect amount of light and shade, and the wind doesn’t become too distracting as you dawdle about. 

This place, after all, is lawless, and you do as you please. At times, you’d bring a book and a pen with you, idly writing your thoughts and doodling in the margins as you read. Other days you’d stroll through the abandoned halls and let yourself be lost in imagining what took place centuries past. Most times, however, you’d sit under your favorite tree, take out a pencil or maybe that small, worn metal box of your paints, and bring something to life onto your paper—like now.

Accompanied by nothing but the distant sounds of small land critters reaching your ears, your hands move the pencil about the paper at a leisurely pace without much thought. Time passes easily this way, you taking your time to draw out figures—a person, apparently. 

Oh.

Your hands come to a stop as you finally realize what—who—you’ve drawn instinctively. A man stares back at you with a tousle of dark, fluffy hair atop his head, brushing gently over his brows. His plump lips were drawn to a small smile, and his eyes—oh, his eyes—were dark in color but the expression in them remains soft and kind, piercing right through you—through your heart. 

He looks beautiful—but you don’t think you could ever do the real thing justice. 

At your own making, Kim Seokjin stares back at you—nothing but charcoal on paper; a mere likeness you cannot feel the warmth of, and an endearing gaze you can only recall in your memories.

You find yourself fishing for something beneath your lace blouse—a familiar small, gold locket whose four corners your fingers know very well to hold. Opening it reveals an eye that, unlike the sketch you’ve drawn, is a bit more lifelike with its colors. The dark chocolate iris has light reflecting off of it like starlight, making it stand out amidst the rest of the miniature canvas. 

Flitting between the sketch and the locket only leaves you more despondent in a feat of having his image engraved in your head lest you ever have the misfortune of forgetting it. 

You couldn’t help but ponder to yourself, reminiscing the seven springs since you’ve last seen the man. 

“Do you like it?”

Voice falling short of a whisper, struggling to find it in you to look at his face so you resort to asking for a verbal reaction. You watch as he endearingly compares the two lockets—one with his eye’s dark chocolate hue and the other with the (e/c) of yours. It had been fairly difficult to paint on such small canvases, but you managed to accomplish the feat.

“Absolutely, my love,” he croons, pressing a kiss atop your forehead before he clasps his locket around his neck. Without any hesitation, he does the same for you. Not long after, his fingers secure a gentle grip on your chin and guide your head upwards. For the first time since you two snuck off to meet tonight, your eyes meeting his, two almost-crescents twinkling as he gives you a smile—tender and loving with the hint of bittersweet sadness. “You’ve captured my handsomeness in the eye alone,” he jests despite himself, pride in his tone as he pulls you into an embrace. “How fortunate I have such a talented woman to immortalize me.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his antics. “But of course,” you hum against his shirt, as you hug him just a little bit tighter. “You’re my only muse.”

The shake in your dwindling voice doesn’t elude your lover, making him pull away and, this time, cupping your cheeks to give them a pinch. “Don’t frown now,” he tuts, his thumbs playfully drawing a smile onto your lips. “You swore you wouldn’t.”

Seokjin’s eyes ruin his light-hearted facade—just as crestfallen as yours. For his sake, however, you do your best to oblige a smile, only to have them force tears from your eyes. A shaky sigh leaves his lips as your tears start flowing one after the other, and so he pulls you into his arms again, letting his shirt stain with your tears. 

You take every second to engrave the feeling of his arms—his warmth—around you. “Come back to me,” your words are muffled by his shoulder but he hears it all the same.

“Of course,” he affirms, giving you a squeeze as he buries his nose into your hair. “I very much intend to.” 

Kim Seokjin was an orphaned boy, found unconscious by the river outside the town and gladly taken in by the local baker and his wife who have been childless well into their years. He grew to be a handsome man, fawned over by even the ladies in your circle who often bemoaned about how unfortunate it was that he didn’t have anything to his name outside the bakery he’s set to inherit from his adoptive father. 

You, however, accomplished what they couldn’t. 

See, Kim Seokjin—one of the most revered bachelors in town—is your little secret. The man you sneak around with. The man you exchange knowing glances with. The man you’ve shared your heart with. 

It was most unfortunate that the two of you were born into different classes. You are the third of four daughters in a particularly well-off family who owned and managed a relatively large farmland. Though your family ranks low amongst polite society, your mother, nearly driven mad into perfectionism, strictly wanted all of her daughters to marry well. This became the very reason why you’ve kept the fact that you and baker Kim’s son are lovers.

It was most fortunate, however, that your two elder sisters successfully secured themselves husbands for their future and the family, especially when your late father succumbed to his illness during one particularly harsh winter. Occupied with the adjustments of passing the family business to your eldest sister and her husband, your mother’s pressure with suitors eventually loosened (just a little) when it came to you and your youngest sister, who shared your distaste with the forced matches. This made it all the more easier to see Seokjin, who often came around under the excuse of his father’s bakery that got their supply of dry ingredients from your family’s company.

It was him who found the ruins—him who brought you there one night and the two of you spent the night watching the stars. 

It was him who revived your love for art—him who gifted you a makeshift palette of paints and urged you to paint when you were told to forget about your passion.

It was him who left you—him who decided to seize the opportunity to be an apprentice to the royal chef and asked you to make something for him to remember you by (hence, the lockets).

The two of you swore you'd stand the test of time, distance, and everything else the universe will throw your way. Of course, such things were always easier said than done. Misfortune found its way to the path and now… well, now you’re quite unsure of what it holds for you—or him.

Here you are, seven years have passed—no Kim Seokjin aside from the ones you've put on paper and canvas. 

Does he still look the same after all these years? 

Did he keep his locket close to his heart, too?

Did he ever stare into the likeness of your eye and reminisce?

There are times resentment gets the better of you—questions of his love, of why he hasn't gone back to look for you, of if he ever even loved you any more—and time, itself, has made you weary, spent your tears, and tired your heart. It's gotten easier to bury memories of him, but times like this come where it rises from the depths in which you've left it. You walk the line of acceptance and delusion, indulging in your greatest "what if" while knowing the truth of your folly.

A sigh escapes your lips as you start to feel the tears stinging your eyes. You keep them at bay as you try to get yourself together. "That's enough for the day," you tell yourself, gathering your materials and slipping them into your satchel. 

Another day ends with you leaving the ruins—your paradise—behind, along with all of the memories of your first love. 

"A ball?"

Before you, your youngest sister, Emma, nods enthusiastically as your eldest sister, Jane, offers you a kind smile. "We thought it'd be lovely for you to join," she says, squeezing your hand, pleading. "Anne will be here by then, too, and we'll be complete."

Your heart aches for your sisters, but while you love them very much…

“You know my sentiments about polite society,” you couldn’t help but sigh, sarcasm dripping in “polite” as you know well of the vipers that hide beneath their pristine facades. 

See, the truth of you and your relationship with Seokjin was discovered six or so years ago by your mother. The resulting conflict led to your disownment and the death of your reputation in the eyes of the social circle, who stared at you with scrutiny, jealousy, and disdain wherever you went.

Emma and Jane looked at you in pity—something you absolutely distaste, but you know it would never leave their eyes even if you told them to. Still, however, your eldest sister brings out a piece of paper—an invitation. “It’ll be fine,” she assures you, “It’s a masquerade ball.”

“No one would know,” Emma eagerly supplies, wielding puppy dog eyes and a pout against you. 

You look at the two of your sisters—who have missed you since all these years, who have given you support in secret, who have urged you to return to the family since your late mother’s passing two years ago. You only manage to meet them a day every other week, your stubborn drive to make something of yourself occupying most of your days with your jobs. 

The cursive words on the card look back at you, almost expectantly. Wearing a mask sounds promising, but the luxury of it all—finding a gown to wear, attending the extravagant party, following the strict etiquette—is all too much now for the simpler life you’ve lived in the past years. They remind you of a suffocating, restricting part of your life.  

On the other hand, however, your heart strings are tugged for your sisters.

With a sigh, you set the invitation down and turn back to your sisters who anticipate your response. “How am I even supposed to afford a decent dress for myself?” you say, brow raised, but the signs of defeat bring grins onto their lips. 

“We’ll gladly take care of that, dear,” Jane assures you as Emma excitedly giggles, leaving her seat to hug you.

Their warmth coaxes a smile from your lips. Anything for them. 

“Anything for them, you say?” you grumble to yourself with a muffled groan as you stand amongst a crowd all chattering amongst themselves, while you stand there all by your lonesome. 

The night of the much awaited ball, you stayed at the estate for the first time in years. The maids delivered to you a beautiful gown of gentle green with delicate white lace trims. Along with it was a white mask with vines and flowers sculpted around it. It took a while for you to get ready, but by the end of it, your hair was beautifully pinned up with a few pearls and faux white flowers.  

The four of you—your second elder sister having arrived with her husband a few days before—meet at the living room, all happy smiles at the notion of being together again. Of course, having their husbands in tow, all of you had to split between two carriages on the way to Fairford Manor. 

Which brings you here now.

Alone, because as all of your sisters have gotten married (yes, even your youngest sister has now also found herself a man), that means as the song for the waltz played, all couples go to the center and dance together. 

“They say the chandelier was a gift from Queen Irene herself. Isn’t that fascinating, my lady?”

You hold back a grimace. “Quite so,” you politely say in feign interest, so as to not offend the man next to you. You don’t know who the old man is, but while he's been nice to have struck a conversation with you, if you planned to spend your evening with history lessons, you’d go to a library.

“Have you eve—”

“Good evening.”

A tall stranger approaches you both, clad in a black suit embroidered with silver thread and a black mask covering his full face. Your brows raise as the man offers you his hand. “If I may,” he courtesies, “I’d like to ask the lady for a dance?” 

Looking around, it seems that the second dance has indeed begun. A part of you is relieved at the sweet release from boredom, but then again, you don’t know this man either. Something does, however, urge you to take his hand before you can even think about it. 

For a moment, his hand in yours leaves you befuddled. Warm they were, and… No. Nonsense.

“I’d be delighted to,” you force a smile, now that you’ve doomed yourself to accept the invitation.

The two of you join the circle of people who came to dance to the next song. While your hand remains in his, you gingerly—awkwardly—place your other hand on the man’s shoulder. His other hand found purchase at the small of your back, as you both began to follow the tune and waltz. You thank your body for remembering the arduous years of having to study dances—you’ve yet to step on your partner’s feet!

You find yourself looking up to meet eyes with the stranger. The close distance has allowed you a better look into his eyes, and they knock the air out of you. Dark irises you’ve seen so many times before stare back at you with a knowing familiarity.

Is it—can it really be him?

“A frown doesn’t suit you, my lady,” he says, and his voice alone—soft and light-hearted as always—dooms your suspicions. With the mask obscuring his face, you find it hard to decipher his emotions. Has time rid you of knowing what his eyes speak after so long?

Your heart races and aches in a flurry of emotions, but for his sake and yours, you resist the urge to storm out of the ballroom. You wonder if he can sense your panic—if he could see your eyes glassy with unshed tears. “So, you’ve come back,” you dully say, tearing your eyes from him to spare yourself any more pain.  

“A bit later than intended, I know,” he tells you as he guides you through the dance. 

Too late, your pain screams. Too late. Too late—

Your teeth bite down at your lip, and you sentence yourself to silence until the last note of the song. Without another word, you hastily courtesy and leave him on the dancefloor, glaring at the marbled floors all the way out of the manor. Hushed whispers follow you, but they are nothing you haven’t privy your heart to. In fact, you’ve expected the gossiping—but him? Kim Seokjin, your first love, right before you when you’ve spent seven years without him? 

He’s a blow to your heart you hadn’t anticipated—a bomb amongst mere arrows. 

A sob finally escapes your lips as you reach the stairs that lead to a pathway to the gates, forcing you to shed your mask when they stick to your skin and get in the way of your tears. The cold night air nips your skin, but you’ve been shaking for far longer than the moment you stepped outside. 

Your melancholy has you nearly stagger off the stairs, but a hand grabs a secure hold of your elbow before you could fall. You pathetically look up to your supposed savior—Kim Seokjin, sans the black mask. How fortunate.

“(Y/N)—”

“Don’t,” you grit through your teeth. 

It’s a surreal sensation—bittersweet, really—to finally see the real thing when you’ve spent years longing for your drawings and paintings to become it. Yet, here your old flame was now—alive in a way your art could never atone—and all the yearning turned into a forest fire across your whole being. 

Soft thumbs wipe away your tears, a feeling that makes you instantly flutter your eyes closed. “It’s unfair,” you find yourself whimpering your thoughts aloud. “Why does it feel like I’m the only one suffering?”

Years of scrutiny and hopelessness all reap the seeds of misery they sowed in you, all of them coming alive to ensnare you and drag you to the depth now that the sole reason for it all presents himself to you—the man you loved, the man you left your family for, the man you stayed in this damned city for even as it rots you from the inside out.

“What makes you say that?”

Seokjin’s words coax you to open your eyes. Through blurred tears, you come to realize he’s closer now, his eyes swimming with tears like yours—the sight of which softens your furrowed brows. Still, it’s not enough to satiate the years of contempt that brewed within you. “Time seems to have been kinder to you, is all,” you bitterly say, taking in his suit ensemble that you could immediately tell was expensive. 

Your words hurt Seokjin, you know it well, but in a childish feat, you hope it does. “I’ve worked hard for it,” he argues, a frown tugging his lips down. “You know nothing of what I’ve been through.”

“So do you,” you say, reaching to remove his hands from your face and walking down what steps remain on the stairs.

You have no doubts of his accomplishments. He had always been able to do what he set his mind to and do so flawlessly. Perhaps, it is this that also prods at the green-eyed monster within you, who envies to see that while you may have both suffered, he’s more triumphant in his feats than you were.

Ever the better person out of the two of you, Seokjin tries to bring you to reason. He follows you out to the manor grounds. “Then make me understand,” he pleads, managing to take your hands into his and effectively stop you in your tracks yet again. “Don’t run away from this—from me.”

Seokjin’s eyes never leave yours and you find it hard for yourself to look away now. Damn it all. His eyes have always done away with you and your stubborn resolve. 

“Mother found out,” you find yourself telling him, lips quivering yet again.

Through the next months after Seokjin’s apprenticeship began at the capital, you would get your news of him through his mother, who always had that knowing glint in her eyes about the two of you before he had left. Both your worries and excitement could fill an ocean, and that made the two of you much closer as you both waited for every letter from Seokjin. 

It was a year or so in, however, your mother discovered his letters to you. You remember the sheer dread that washed over you when you saw her at your vanity table, reading the letters Seokjin directly addressed to you.

"Mother…"

You stood frozen by the door, part of your nightgown bunched in your hands as you watched your mother grip the letter tightly with only one thing in her eyes—fury. The moment she looked up and met your eyes through the mirror, chills ran down your spine. "What did I lack for you to have done this treachery to me, (Y/N)?" she said, voice eerily steady and sharp that it makes you flinch.

Willing yourself to step forward, you try to gently reason with her. "Mother, love mustn't have boundaries," you say, “Seokjin is—”

"Love is an illusion, (Y/N)," your mother spat, standing from the chair with such force that it toppled over. “These,” she waves a letter to your face, “These are nothing but lies.”

"It's not—"

"This boy may have you fooled, but not me," your mother claims, tearing the letter in her hands before your eyes, the sight of which sets you a blaze in panic.

"No!" you cry out and run to her, grasping her hands to try and save the other letters from the same fate. "Stop it, please! Stop!"

Your mother looks at you in outrage as you cry over the torn pages of your lover’s words, clutching the letters you managed to get a hold of close to your heart. "You'd waste yourself for that baker's boy?!" she bellowed, "What else can he give you aside from his looks, hm? Nothing!"

"I don't give a damn about what he can't give!" you scream back, anger now flowing through your veins. "I love him and he loves me—unconditionally. I'm not throwing what we have away simply because he doesn't fit you greedy ide—"

A slap damns you to silence. 

"How dare you?" your mother sneers, seething. "How will you live then, hm? In the slums with nothing to eat?"

Her underestimation of commoners infuriates you. "The Kims get by just fine mother," you hiss, standing to stare her down with a glare. "Your obsession with luxury blinds you to the beauty in their simple lives."

Your mother glares back, crossing her arms. "Then I'll simply have you see things my way," she declares with such sureness that it unsettles you.

"What do you mean?"

"No daughter of mine marries a commoner," she says the words with such disgust that it stabs your heart with pain. "You'll marry Lord Jung's son, and then you'll see just how much better life is!"

Jung Hoseok, you remember him. A kind, bright boy you played with as a child—son to one of your late father’s greatest investors. He’s heir to his father’s brewery business. You can see why, in your mother’s eyes, he’s a perfect candidate for marriage. 

Even so, you can't stomach the thought of betraying Seokjin—let alone attempting to unlove him. 

"Then, I'll be no daughter of yours."

Your mother's visibly taken aback, her furious eyes that had seemed so sure before falter upon hearing your words. "What?"

Tears sting your eyes as you shake but you stand your ground. "If it disgusts you to have a daughter who loves a commoner, then I'll do you a favor, Lady (L/N)," you tell her, fishing for a coat in your closet, as well as the satchel that kept your locket and the makeshift palette Seokjin gifted you among other things. 

"You would leave the family for that boy?"

You could no longer bear the noose this life has around your neck. "A single inch of Kim Seokjin has made me feel more love, seen, and supported than you ever could," you claim, as you don on your coat. Another glare and you finally tell your mother the truth that you and your sisters have all been thinking of for years. "Your expectations and dreams have doomed us all to terrible, unhappy ends."

In many ways, your mother had killed all of you.

Jane, the eldest, while her husband was a good man, lives in his shadow. You like to think she was a genius, if she hadn’t been shackled to be a woman like all of you were. She longed to take care of the family estate and business herself, but that power’s been passed to her husband.

Anne—sweet Anne—who loved to read about plants, was married off to a count from a neighbouring kingdom. Your mother didn’t care about the rumors of his infamous infidelity—-didn’t care that your sister was doomed to be all alone, so far from home.

And, young Emma, whose imagination knows no bounds, wanted to write stories, but mother burned her manuscripts when she found out about her intentions to publish them.

"Everything I do, I do for all of you," your mother growled.

"You do it for yourself," your words smack her nearly as hard as she did. "You'd rather have our hearts and souls die to fit your perfect picture, than be happy."

"Happiness isn't everything—"

"I'd rather die than live without happiness."

This shocks her enough into silence that it gives you time to storm out of the room—of the estate. 

Seokjin’s eyes were wide as you told him of what had transpired that night. He seems as if he had something to say, but he withholds his words until you finish your side of the story.

The two of you walk in the night, side by side with a distance drawn by an invisible line between you both. “I came to the bakery the moment I left,” you tell him, “but even then, my misery doesn’t end.” 

That night, certain of your disownment, you made a run for the Kims' bakery. Imagine your surprise when you found the establishment abandoned. No more bread of all shapes, forms, and flavors displayed. No more gentle conversation between Mr and Mrs Kim. No more kind smiles to welcome you into the abode. 

Everything was gone. 

“I don’t know what happened,” you say, shivering yet again—this time from the cold. Seokjin wordlessly sheds his black overcoat, the silver threads embroidered into it glinting in the moonlight as he did. For a moment, you’re silent, words unable to escape you as he drapes his coat over your shoulders.

This makes it all the more difficult to meet his eyes, you forcing yourself to look at the forest ahead. “I…” you wet your lips as you ease your breathing. “I barely had any money with me, but one of our old maids thankfully took me in.”

Helen remains to be someone dear to your heart. “It was also her who helped me find something to make a living with,” you say, a soft smile on your face at the memory of going through town with Helen to look for jobs. In the end, she was able to help you become an assistant seamstress to a kind over to a dress shop. 

After months of working, you finally had enough to look for him where you last knew he was. “The first of my plans was to earn enough money to go to the capital,” you murmur, your smile fading at the memory of what took place there when you arrived. “Alas,” you bitterly laugh, “you weren’t there anymore.”

It took you days to even manage to ask a member of the royal kitchen staff about what happened to Seokjin, and as it turns out, he quit from his post some time after you were disowned. Next to you, Seokjin grimaces, sighing as he shakes his head. “I,” he stammers, “I had already been under a lot of pressure, and…”

It seemed to be his turn reminiscing. “My parents came to the capital all of a sudden,” he began, “they said Lady (L/N) told them to get out of the city at your request—said that you were getting married to another and you didn’t want anything that reminded you of me.”

Your heart dropped at the news. When did your mother orchestrate such a scheme?

You recall that before that night, the last you had seen of Mr and Mrs Kim had been a week or so. Had your mother known about you and Seokjin for much longer before you discovered her in your room? 

Tears return to your eyes, and you find yourself clutching Seokjin’s coat tightly in your hands. A newfound hatred for your mother burns in you, but a part of you still found fault in Seokjin’s predicament. “Seven years,” your words tremble. “I’ve waited seven years for you to come back—stayed a commoner here even as they slander me behind my back because I didn’t want you to not find me. Why didn’t you come for me sooner?” 

Until the end, you were your mother's disappointment. Even your youngest sister, who had no plans of getting married, was now with child, having gotten married to the heir to a publishing company last summer. You, on the other hand, denied any man who came to ask for your hand—who all told you how fortunate you were that they’re even asking a desolate spinster like you. 

You could feel Seokjin’s gaze from beside you, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to look into them and see what they held. A sigh resounds from him, so filled with regret and anguish. “I lost my way for a while,” he confesses, “when I heard your supposed husband was an heir, I was angry. I poured my heart and my time into making something of myself—I got back to the royal kitchen, I got employed under a ducal family, and then I delved into business.”

He looks up at the moon, like it’d give him more strength for his confessions. “I planned to come back here and show you all of that, I…” he shakes, “I wanted you to regret leaving me.”

You find it hard to imagine Kim Seokjin, who was always so mature and certain of himself, be so unsure and lost, and yet the emotions his words carry are proof of it. A part of you feels betrayed that he thought you would believe such a thing, but you know well how emotions can cloud a person’s reason.

The two of you came to a stop when he stood before you, seizing your hands yet again since the manor’s staircase. A hand came to tilt your chin towards him. “When I finally came here,” Seokjin earnestly looked at you, “I can’t begin to imagine the relief and joy I felt to find out you never got married at all, but I… I also know what a fool I’ve been.”

A glint of that well-known determination is in his eyes as he fishes for something pinned beneath his waistcoat. “When I saw you at the ball, I knew I had to at least try if I had even a small chance to be with you again.”

In his hands was his locket, one that revealed your eye in the midst of it. At that moment, your eyes yet again shine with tears—this time, happier than the previous ones. Your heart swells, not enough to quell your pain, but still enough to comfort your broken heart—to embrace it and say “I’m here, I’ll never leave again.”

Before you is a familiar view, you now realize it as you look around what surrounded you both. Walking down the memories of the past lead you to the place where you both shared most of it—the ruins. 

A small smile makes it to your lips. “Do you remember the last time we were here?” you ask him, and watch as he, too, came to recognize where you two were. The smile that befalls him is precious, as he nods. 

You find yourself squeezing his hand in yours, taking a step forward to lessen the gap between you both. You stare into his eyes—see how softly and kindly they gaze at you. “You are my only muse,” you say, echoing the words you told him seven springs ago as your fingers reach for the locket you kept tucked between your dress and corset. “The one who gave me strength amidst my misery.”

Seokjin encloses his right hand with yours, both of them containing your respective lockets, as he rests his forehead against yours, eyes fluttering close. “You’re my muse, too,” he swore under his breath as he leaned in and captured your lips in a tender kiss. 

You smile, the cracks in your heart slowly but surely being melded back together from his warmth.

Here you are, seven years have passed—Kim Seokjin very much alive and within arm’s reach, proving what you thought during that dreadful night to be true. You can never unlove him.

𝓽𝓪𝓰𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 : @mwitsmejk​ @dreamamubarak​ @bloodline1632​

[rexaleph]

rotating Francesca Bianchi in my mind

Tyger Tyger is the only sample out of my excessive birthday present to myself that came with a broken atomizer and it's the one i was most excited to try :( from what i can get from dabbing, which is suboptimal, the very very opening is a shockingly good realistic peach, but the whole thing quickly turns into whatever it is that made me hate Tom Ford Bitter Peach. cheap generically sweet incense cones. There's a chance better application might make me like it but idk. Trying to make sth expensive I don't like that much work for me - especially by spending more money! is prob a dumb move

Unspoken Musk is opens with that same obnoxious dissonant sweetness, but dry is if Carner Barcelona El Born had an element of soft furry animal. Still need to sit with it but not what I hoped for (soft dirty musk).

The Lover's Tale is like.... iris to seduce the iris hater (I am the iris hater). it's meant to be a leather but I don't get that at all, I get iris, but done in a way that's not reminiscent of old-fashioned cosmetics bc it doesnt come with a strong sweet floral. instead it has mimosa - delicate, spearminty-sweet-fresh powdery. which, I'm guessing mimosa is probably my favorite flower, the one floral fragrance I love with my whole chest - FM Une Fleur de Cassie, is primarily a mimosa. so the Lover's Tale to my nose is those two notes: oily, savory iris brightened with fragile mimosa. and there's other flowers and aldehydes and sandalwood for like a background floral sweetness, but iris and mimosa are like the two poles delineating the fragrance. Very cool, glad to have tried it.

Now as to sth I would - Sex and the Sea is pretty special. coconut for the coconut hater. tropical for the antitropicalist. candy for him (I'm him). it's one of those sweet tart friedly fruits beloved by the gender cowards (eau de rhubarbe, aventus perhaps, virgin island water certainly), but a little deep and strange and interesting. it reminds me of a candy from when i was a kid, i wanna say piña colada flavored, i'm picturing pale-yellow hard candies that leave your tongue sore. there is a bitter, soapy quality, maybe immortelle, that really conjures the irritating sharpness of the candies. it also makes the pineapple flip from candied-sweet to juicy leafy green. the projection remains sweet and rounded coconut-forward, but up close it's sharper, tart and lemony, plus salty myrrh and ambergris. final drydown is warm, friendly, a little spearminty sweet-spicy. certainly a version of the sweet opulence fantasy, but maybe a little too obvious an image. too straightforwardly beachy with the salt and the sun lotion and the pineapple. otoh is it maybe just my ideological opposition to coconut and beach cocktail perfume and if i hadn't seen the advertised notes could i love it uncomplicatedly? this is one i gotta show to some outside observers. also i now want to try the Sex and the Sea Neroli flanker, bc if it's the same thing refocused around neroli, maybe it'll be less heavy-handedly themed. people call it simpler and more wearable, which, yeah, maybe that's what i need from Sex and the Sea. it'll take it away from the dense richness of the fantasy perfume i was originally looking for, but maybe make for something i actually enjoy more. also, funnily enough as is i don't get any erotic associations even tho i love to be horny abt perfume AND one of my strongest erotic memories is swimming with someone when i was a teenager and feeling the jolt of body heat in cold water. like i can get there if i really think about it but it's not animalic or salty enough on its own. fruit is kinda inherently unsexy to me i guess.

anyway i was worried i wouldn't get along with the Francesca Bianchi DNA but i'm very interested in seeing what else they have going on. at first i thought i'd skip the leather-forwards outright because we have leather at home, boy do we ever have leather at home. but now i'm thinking if the Lover's Tale doesn't read as leather to me, maybe the others won't be redundant to what i already have either. much to think about. however i don't want to spend money on perfume anytime soon, i felt weird and bad doing it last time. maybe that was the main reason why i was deleting my perfume posts tbh.

[occultpuppy]

So, some things I've been doing in my game lately to help me feel better connected/not bored have really been helping create a better connection with the world as a whole, to the point I've been heavily debating rotational gameplay! Let me tell you, I aint felt that connected to my sims in a VERY long time so I consider this an improvement!

Things that helped me feel better about my game/made it fun for me again:

No more speed 3. Stop it. What was the point of the devs making those animations if you ain't even gonna watch? Force yourself to only use speed 1 if your sim ain't asleep or at work, plus your game will run better!

Custom holidays! Update EVERY holiday and really contemplate what you want to achieve out if the holiday. I recommend the 'No Awful Holidays' mod as a fairly realistic/grateful change. Say your sim doesn't feel like celebrating or maybe doesn't like a particular holiday? This means you can also go WILD and add so many new cool holidays! Some holidays I've added; Frog Day, Mental Boost Day, Good Karma Day, Summer Break, Fall Activity Day, Conservation Day, Days specifically for each occult, etc! I'll list more holiday traditions below as well!

Speaking of which, clubs are a great way to create a solid friend group and make them really utilitarian to what skills and relationships you need to boost. Want to get ahead in your career? Coworker group outings! Family needs a park daytrip? There's a club for that! Here are a list of expanded club activities to help you make a club for just about anything!

Give your sims routines! I make it a point now to make my sim go to the bathroom, wash their hands, brush their teeth and get a shower every day. Let's at least give them a better life than depression lol

Changing their style often! Don't get me wrong, I know you worked hard to make your sim perfect the first time but how many times have you changed in your life? How many hair cut styles and colors have you tried? And MCCC is your friend. Use that copy and paste feature in the dresser section to copy your sims current makeup, hair and accessories to cross post to your other outfits and thrive! (This last part is only helpful if you don't want your sims pillow to be covered in lipstick lol)

Take so many pictures. I'm actually not much of a picture taker but I've found taking more pictures has made me feel like I was there for their memories and that's sweet lol it also makes me more invested because I can go back and realize just how much time I've dedicated to my sim. This can be good or bad :p

Playing with walls up. Look I totally used to be a half wall/walls down type but once again, why did you decorate those walls if you wasn't gonna look at em? Plus really gives you that /godmodevibe/

Save often. Crashes suck and I am a spam saver during gameplay but am the worst when it comes to building 🙃 I try to do better but it's hard sometimes and I learn the hard way lol

Go out WAY MORE!! I am a hermit in my real life and I tend to stay 'lot-locked' jut bc I hate the loading screens. Place some of those amazing community lots from the gallery down and explore! More pictures! More memories and more options for story telling; anything can happen in the public lol

That's all I got for now. I hope this helps somebody bc these changes have really amped up my experience!

[minzart]

OLDER YUU IS SO BADASS

The idea off Yuu becoming part off the staff and being some sort off pupil fascinates me so I got fresh headcanons for you

Since Yuu cant use magic they have gathered knowledge and Skills of multiple sources like curses, potions, magic history, enchanted itens and even some engineering

Can come up with history facts/curiosities and make even the more tedious things interesting able to tell history events as if they were gossip

Is able to make potions with ease, needs to follow a book for the more complicated ones but can make antidotes from memory (so many accidents)

Has the physical ability to kick your ass in twelve different ways dont usually gets aggressive in front off students but theres rumors of Yuu training and now the more bold students try to dare them

I can see Yuu making up for not having magic by collecting magic items, things for defense/attack, maybe even incorporating some in their clothes sure they could be hard to find but nothing some friends can't help

Also Yuu Accidentally being an idol *cof*crush*cof* for new students

Yuu tries to have a more formal image in front of younger students (keyword: tries) but maybe having to keep a giant fire breathing gremlin under control is not the best sell (actually by outsiders eyes one mere human having control of such beast is really impressive)

The students having the image of Yuu being the "Beast tamer headmaster" for having an overgrow Grim by their side on the halls but once they get to know them its just two dorks

Remember rumors of Yuu fighting style? The students think they have seen it all until theres a serious fight and Yuu twist the top of their cane and pull out a sword to the combat

YESSSSS YESSSS YESSS TO ALL OF THOSE

Ofcourse Yuu gatther as much knowledge in the world as they can! They lived with Trein and all the talking portraits! How can't they know little fun facts

Yuu and Grim are badasses only by legend and the students discovering they are dorks is the ultimate goal

Yes crush on "headmaster" Yuu~ of course how can't you? After all Yuu is very nice and funny! And so cool!

May I give a suggestion?

When the cane isn't a sword it's a "gravity"/teleport cane, if you know "the property of hate" webcomic, think of RGB's cane ability to be trown and come back until it hits solid grown or is held

(Sword fights with Arthuro, how do you think that cane can stop a sword? BC THERE'S ON ON THERE!)

[dexters-bluemilkshakes]

i made "the 501st goes to Target", "the disaster lineage goes to Target", "The Clone Wars Squad ™ (+Satine) goes to Target", "The Rebels go to Target", "The Original Trilogy Gang Goes To Target", and now I give you

The Driods of Star Wars go to Target (chaos ensues):

R2d2: well, he’s been here many times before. He acts like he owns the place. He rolls around the aisles showing bb8 and D-O all the “cool” spots and best ways to cause chaos. Bb8 and D-O chirp excitedly, because if uncle r2 says its okay, then it must be, right?

This is a long way of saying r2 is the best bad influence ever.

oh man, the chaos this little droid causes. Surprisingly, he doesn’t get banned (only bc 3po and Ap-5 talk the manager out of it), but it’s a close one.

r2 runs around screaming, throwing things at his friends. he and chopper WREAK havoc hiding under shelves and pretending to be large plastic versions of themselves (they are, after all, galactic heroes. of COURSE target has plastic figurines of them, some may even be life sized). once they are hidden, they jump out at whoever walks through, friends and strangers alike.

seriously, it’s a miracle they don’t get kicked out.

r2 also rolls around holding a giant yoga ball above his head while chasing AP-5, who is swearing like a pilot.

He and 3po go around the store once everything quiets down. On occasion r2 would project a holo-recording of anakin or leia or obi-wan or luke and it would be like they were really there with them. and at that moment, they were. the memories may be tinged with blue and static, but it was there all the same.

r2 would coo softly when he saw the faces of those he loves laughing and loving him right back. but then the holo-vid ends. and he and 3po are alone once again.

3po: he showed bb8 and and D-O how to shop responsibly and where to find the best deals. He, Ap-5, and k2so all tell their respective crews the odds for different reasons, which they rant about to each other

Ap-5 and k2so love each other’s sarcasm, but

3po is like their older brother and so they make sure he understands their jokes.

3po makes a sarcastic comment to r2 after hanging out with Ap-5 and k2so and r2 didn’t know if he should break the two droids or cheer. (he short circuited instead).

he did the shopping, of course. after all, he was the oldest, and he knew exactly what to buy and where to buy it. bb8 and D-O excitedly rolled after him and took mental notes on how 3po was shopping, before getting distracted and rolling off to play w Az.

3po didn’t mind, he was happy to watch the two young droids play.

r2 came over to 3po after the shopping was done and he was just looking around. at first, 3po was wary, because he thought his companion was trying to get him involved in a prank, but nevertheless, shuffled after r2.

they want from hall to hall, looking at holo-recordings that r2 had saved of their friends. the last one r2 played was in the hair product aisle, and he projected a video of obi-wan and anakin bickering over shampoo and over if obi-wan uses that fancy pomade or not. then ahsoka comes over and they start arguing over 3-in-one shampoo (anakin is all for it, obi wan is appalled, ahsoka doesn’t even have hair and she knows that 3-in-one is horrible).

the recording ends and the images freezes and so do their friends. the smiles are still on their faces except for when little bits of static disrupt the image.

3po and r2 stand looking at the images for a long time. 3po’s hand resting on the dome of his silver little friends. they wished the smiles in real life could have stayed on their friends' faces as long as they did in the images frozen in time.

Bb8: he had never been to a target before. Poe preferred space-costco, so this was a new experience for bb8. D-O had never gone either, so bb8 and his friend raced around the hallways, ricocheting off of the shelves as they rounded counters.

3po taught bb8 where to find the best deals on groceries, even though bb8 wouldn't actually need to buy food for himself. r2 the reminded 3po that astromechs don’t tend to buy groceries for their owners, but bb8 wanted to learn anyway.

D-O got bored and rolled off with r-2 after a bit, but bb8 spent nearly a half hour eagerly listening to Professor 3po.

at the end of the day, he used his allowance to buy Poe a target gift card, just to have an excuse to come back with him.

K2s0: he jokes around with the employees. They make jokes about idiotic customers and how stupid people can be. The employees say that some of the worst customers are the obnoxious ones, to which k2s0 replies that he is unfortunately good friends with a lot of those customers.

As if on cue, r2 and chopper come screaming around the corner, with bb8 and D-O on their heels.

“Like them,” one of the cashiers say.

K2so just sighs and gives them each a handful of credits and then jogs off to catch his friends.

Later, he runs into a very grumpy manager who k2so has seen yelling at employees and making them cry for doing nothing.

So, naturally, k2so trolls him big time. He pretends to joke around with him the same way he did with the cashiers, but this time he is absolutely making fun of him. Once the manager catches on, k2s0 bluntly admits to trolling him, tells him his shoes are dumb, and then books it out of the store, carrying D-O underhis arm.

When they all get home, he lectures them all on being more well behaved because they were making the employee’s lives harder. He did this in a very sarcastic way, of course. It was like if space-john mulaney gave you a lecture.

To his credit, r2 and chopper were a little quieter the next time they went to the store.

AP-5: wants to spend as little time in the store as possible. He plans to get the groceries and g o. He doesn't want to be around people or droids or anything that can hold a conversation, he just wants to get a box of bolts to fix Sabine's bedroom doorway with, and some instant space-foods since The Ghost was going to be traveling in hyperspace for a really long jump. But when is he ever that lucky?

The version AP-5 tells Hera is that Chopper was running around screaming (which, to his credit, is not untrue), and that he had to intervene.

The truth is that AP-5 helped chopper create a chaos prank because he knew it was going to happen either way, and he wanted to mitigate the circumstances. He told sabine and kanan the truth when they cornered him bc they didn’t believe him (neither did hera, but she knew he would never fess up to her bc she would make him babysit as punishment. again).

The actual truth was that AP-5 came up with the idea, which he and chopper then executed, and later came up with a worse version that AP supposedly mitigated.

They said chopper was going to just knock down a bunch of shelves.

I n s t e a d he would take things from people’s cart when they weren't looking while Ap-5 distracted them, and then like put them on a shelf later, or in their cart right as they are loading stuff onto the belt.

When he wasn’t making customers question their sanity, his cargo manifest instincts kicked in. he found himself taking inventory of the whole store though multiple rounds, and would tell the employees when he noticed a shelf ran out of a popular item, much to their severe annoyance.

But he had fun.

He also bought a stuffed space-bird creature, the ones that surrounded him when he was floating and space and having a *main character moment*.

Chopper: chaos. Only chaos.

He spends his time scaring the living starlights out of people, screaming (crying, throwing up), freaking out customers by moving their items around, being a bad influence on his younger brothers (bb8 and D-O), buying himself a new cat toy to add to his now-too-big collection, and buying a birthday present for Hera. the wholesomeness ruined his chaotic facade, but hey, he has to stay the favorite kid somehow.

K2sO loves chop. Or, rather, he likes watching chopper cause chaos, until chopper upsets his new target-employee-besties, and then chopper gets yelled at by k2.

It made it into chopper’s top five most terrifying experiences, right under when Ezra once told Luke that chopper was like the r2 of the ghost, and r2 almost strangled ezra. It was hard for even chopper to tell who was more insulted: r2 or chopper (or luke tbh).

He and r2 are literal besties, despite r2 being like nearly two decades older and technically in charge. Chopper did at one point ask if they could steal a mannequin to put in a closet and scare ezra, and r2 said no.

However, he promised he would carry Ap-5 to a closet on the ghost when he was in recharge cycle to make up for it.

Chopper also bought ezra a can that when you open it a fake snake pops out, just in case the Ap-5 plan never follows through.

D-O: baby’s first shopping excursion. The little droid didn’t go out much before, especially not on shopping trips. The sith in him makes him a little chaotic, but that also be bc of his big brother chopper and uncle r2.

yeah, it’s definitely because of chopper and r2.

D-O is eager to learn anything, everything he can. 3po is happy to teach him about stores and deals and shopping. bb8 was interested for a short while before running off with r2, but D-O remained FASCINATED for as long as 3po was talking.

He is technically older than bb8, but everyone forgets this and treats him like the baby, including bb8.

D-O doesn’t mind.

AZ: so, AZ not only didn’t know Target existed, he had ever heard of the concept of a store before. Everything he ever needed was on Kamino without fail, and it wasn’t in his programming to inquire where it came from. He doesn't know what anything is so he constantly asks questions about everything, even items that he literally has seen before (like bowls or shirts). He would ask why they were here and not on Kamino, and if Tipoca City got their supplies from target.

No one knew how to tell AZ that it doesn’t really matter, because it’s not like Tipoca City needs much of anything anymore.

He gets a little overwhelmed in the best way at all the cool stuff. He zooms around, picking up one thing only to drop it again to go look at something else that caught his eye. 3po trailed behind him to out everything back properly, and K2so followed AZ to make sure he didn’t overload his circuits, and to catch him if he did.

Az was dismayed at the medical aisle section, especially at the % bacta in the ointments and band-aids and whatnot. He thought it was an outrage that there was so little bacta in the disinfectant and bandages, and asked how this would heal a blaster wound.

K2so then informed him that most people wouldn’t go to the target pharmacy to treat a blaster wound.

After the initial ten minutes of chaos and questions, AZ settled down and quietly hovered around, before buying a kid’s t-shirt that was meant for a birthday, thought AZ wasn’t sure why it resonated with him so much since the shirt was plain and only had a single number on it:

5.

[lunaastoir]

cute things i think the genshin characters would do

characters included: diluc, kaeya, venti, and albedo 

****minor lore spoilers for diluc!****

an: i’m thinking of making this into a series bc this was such an adorable concept to write so lmk if you’re interested 👀 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

diluc 

sorry kind of starting off with something a little sad 

i think diluc would have a habit of rubbing his vision 

ok seems kinda dumb at first but let me elaborate: 

after the death of his father, diluc was quite obviously devastated 

he basically withdrew into himself after letting all the grief, pain, and rage flood his senses

i think during this time of grieving, he would’ve developed this habit of running the pads of his fingers across his vision to calm himself down 

(v similar to katara from atla) 

since his father had always been proud of diluc’s vision, the thought of touching something that reminded him of his father has always been able to bring him some sort of relief no matter how short lived

it serves as a constant memory of his dad and i think being able to have that kind of connection - no matter how small would hold a significance to him 

stressed? you’ll see his fingers dance across his vision as the crease between his eyebrows gradually loosens 

ok here’s a bonus habit (bc the previous one was sad) 

whenever he’s bartending at angel’s share, he always flips the bottles in this cool bartending way before pouring the drinks 

like the whole shabang - flips in the air, shakes it in a way that the drink foams just right 

people are usually v surprised when they see this bc woah mans has got some sKILLS 

but also bc he’s known for being pretty serious and reserved so seeing a “trick” is kind of breaking the stoic image they have of him 

after he’s done pouring the drinks he’s also really precise about closing the bottles 

he makes sure that the caps are on tightly and that nothing is leaking (which ig is another reason why he does flips with them so he can make sure that the bottles are tightly closed) 

yes he’s rich but he also wants to make sure the drinks don’t go bad bc 1) kind of a loss if they do and 2) his customers deserve the best 

sweet man pls protect him <3 

kaeya

when he’s sitting down at his desk, he brings his legs up so he can sit on his chair criss- cross applesauce 

since he’s in his office and the only other person who’s in there with him is jean, he feels like he can drop the suave, charming cavalry captain facade he puts on when he’s in public and just dial it down slightly to who he really is in that moment 

jean doesn’t say a word the entire time even tho she quite obviously notices 

don’t get me wrong, he’s still the smooth talking kaeya but just,,, more relaxed and comfortable?? if that makes sense 

so since he’s a lot more comfortable in his office, he usually folds his legs into his chair bc damn they hurt from walking around all day

this is kinda dumb but i also think he has a lot of ink stains on his hands from writing so whenever he sees a fresh one he just likes to stamp it onto a piece of paper 

usually that piece of paper ends up being an unimportant report that goes to jean 

dw he also has a bunch of pretty small towels in his bottom drawer that he uses to wipe his hands on bc the public can’t see the pretty cavalry captain w ink stains!! the world would end!! 

oH kind of a side note but i also think he would keep a small folded up picture of something klee drew him in his pocket 

he thinks it’s very sweet and he periodically takes it out just to look at it soft for this man 

last one for kaeya but since he wears boots that have the little lip on the bottom (not really a heel but enough to make some noise) he makes sure to always try his best to walk quietly around the streets of mondstadt at night 

if anyone catches him doing it he’ll wave it off and say something like “oh me? i’m just practicing my stealth - it comes in handy when you have to sneak up on enemies you know?” but in reality that’s just bs 

he really just doesn’t wanna risk waking people up <3 

venti

this adorable man is obviously notorious for drinking 

he loves alcohol!! i mean he’s the anemo archon of the city of wine and freedom so is anyone really surprised 💀

anyways venti always jokes abt not having any mora (he really doesn’t he’s not wrong) but he always makes sure to pay his tab at angel’s share 

the only reason diluc lets him drink sm is because at the end of the day, venti always comes through w the mora 

he really is a talented bard so everything he makes in singing and composing music for other people to listen to always goes straight to angel’s share (debatable if that’s for the best or not but i’ll leave that one to you) 

so yeah <3 basically venti pays back his tabs even tho he’s an archon since he doesn’t want people to experience a loss bc of him 

it’s the archon nature coming out but also the venti nature bc he’s a sweet boy 

anyways getting onto the actual habit 🕺

he has a tendency to skip/hop regardless of wherever he’s going 

he uses his anemo elemental skill a lot while doing this just he can feel a light breeze whenever he skips around 

i also think he carries around extra bard strings in his hat bc he thinks it’s a cool party trick to take them out and be like tada i have extra strings no need to worry!!! 

people are usually not that amused but he does it anyway 

also yeah uh those strings sometimes fall out when he’s skipping 💀 

he’ll be hopping and suddenly bOOM they fall out, he loses them, a kitten by the name of prince takes them, and he has to ask for help to find his strings (i believe this is exactly how venti lost his strings to prince during the windblume festival and no i will not take any criticism and if venti says something different he is lying 🔪)

also has a habit of putting his hair into a bun sometimes!!! 

he loves his pigtails but he finds that he gets bored of them occasionally and his hair needs a break from its wavy tresses so he just plops it into a bun instead 

so so cute 10/10 hairstyle he can do my hair 

anyways love this man thanks for coming home <3 

albedo

i had a feeling i would kind of have a hard time w albedo since he is a little hard to read so i hope this is ok LMFAO 

he has paint stains. everywhere. no you cannot change my mind. 

they are subtle tho i will give him that 

you can’t notice that anything is amiss until you really pay attention and then you’ll start to see the pretty pastels and greens of the sunset he was painting up on dragonspine softly smeared across his clothes 

very rarely you’ll see a cute swipe of paint across his cheek or neck and it’s honestly adorable 

he was probably pushing his hair out of his face while he was painting and some excess paint on his finger landed on his cheek :,) 

he doesn’t really care tbh he thinks it’s just a part of him and it really isn’t that noticeable so he just leaves it 

also!!! since he is a big alchemist and he’s constantly working on labs and experiments i think he would accidentally misplace a lot of his written work 

he seems very organized but w someone as intellectual as him w his brain running miles a minute, i’m sure he has definitely forgotten where he’s put stuff away 

so!! in order to help him remember, he has little notes across his lab detailing where everything is 

if he was working on something and he immediately has to put it on hold bc something came up (klee came in demanding attention or sucrose needs help) then he’ll quickly jot down a note and stick it to his desk so he’ll remember when he comes back just in case he forgets 

sucrose as a result has noticed A LOT of notes across the lab and it’s simultaneously funny and endearing 

“started experiment with sweet flowers to try and turn them into a youth elixir: papers --> on the desk right next to klee’s photo” 

final point: he lets klee braid his hair sometimes if she wants to 

she doesn’t really know how given how young she is so she ends up messing up but albedo always walks her patiently through the steps again 

always makes time for klee no matter what bc he really does care a lot abt her :,) 

i love him sm pls 

[over-under-through1]

Have any more headcanons for Robin, Mike, Robike(Them together), Miblo and Buttercup?

i’ll try to get a few of these down ><

Robin, Mike, and Robike gen headcannons:

Robin is deathly allergic to shell fish. she found this out okay her and mikes 2nd date, where he took her out for sushi, she got a tempura shrimp roll, and 10 minutes later had to be rolled out in an ambulance. never again. (don’t ask how she had never eaten it before)

in solidarity to her shell fish allergy, mike refuses to eat any kind of shell fish as well. call him a romantic.

mike is a HORRID singer. boy sounds like a car’s rev engine. it’s bad.

this fact does not stop him from tearing it up on karaoke night at the Utonium household

he is also a hopeless dancer. white boy dance moves for days. some of his favorites include: the lawmower, the sprinkler (basically any dance that’s named after backyard machinery), the running man, and worst of all, flossing

once again, this does not stop him from trying. “BABE!! BAE!! HUN!! LOVE!! LOOK AT ME GO!! COME OVER HERE LETS DANCE TOGETHER!!” *cue groaning and hiding behind Buttercup on Robins behalf as Buttercup laughs her ass off with Butch and records*

don’t get between Robin and her ice cream sandwiches. my girl turns into a banshee the second she spots one.

Mike cannot swallow pills. he has tried so, so hard, but year after year he ends up gagging and crushes them up to drink down with water. poor guy, don’t even bring advil liquigels into his line of vision

Mitch, Pablo, and Miblo gen headcannons:

when Mitch first saw Pablo walk into his 10th grade homeroom, he gay panicked, blue screened, mumbled at Buttercup “pretty… boy…” then zombie walked past her, the teacher, Pablo himself (who noticed and was immediately enamored with Mitch), out the room, past the vice principal, then trudged 4 miles home in a daze with Buttercup flying behind him shouting. he woke up an hour later with no recollection of any of this

Buttercup still makes fun of him to this day for the incident. she tells the story in her toast as best woman at the Miblo wedding

Pablo is a giant. he is a good 7 inches taller than Mitch (as stated in my height headcannons post). Mitch makes Pablo carry him around practically everywhere and Pablo ALWAYS hits his head when he walks into Mitch’s trailer. always. every single time. it doesn’t matter that he’s come over hundreds of times, or that he tells himself beforehand each time “Pablo, you will not, under any circumstances, hit your head on the door frame this time. Mitch will not make fun of you because it will not happen.” it still happens. it’s not preventable.

it doesn’t even matter that even people TALLER than Pablo (cough Boomer cough) can enter Mitch’s trailer without hitting their head. Pablo keeps a cool head most of the time, but he has broken and threatened the door many times in the past.

Mitch is a mini space heater and Pablo is the coldest man alive. many-a-cuddling sessions happen in winter (and though Pablo won’t admit it, fall too. and spring.)

Mitch is friends with basically everyone at their school, he’s very extroverted and good at making conversation with people, he tries making friends with at least one new person a day

so, so many people ask Pablo if he’s on the volleyball or basketball team. they are very, very wrong, my boy is the editor of the school paper and he could not be prouder of his position. FANTASTIC writer, and when you have an in with the schools very own superheroes, there’s nothing really stopping you from climbing your way to the top

Mitch was highkey terrified of Butch when Buttercup first introduced him, but now there is literally nothing that Butch could do to make Mitch feel intimidated. if Butch even tried, Mitch would be right on his ass making fun of him for it

gen Buttercup headcannons (tw: mentions of panic attacks):

still has a fear of spiders, but instead of screaming over them and flying away, she gets a very dark look in her eyes and will not hesitate to destroy the house in order to kill the vermin. her sisters and all of her friends have to constantly be aware of any 8 legged bugs around them so they can keep it out of BC’s sights, if only to preserve the land within a 5 mile radius around them

has been begging Prof.Utonium to let her get a lizard for the past 4 years. she had one for a week but her dad found it and immediately set it free

her ears are the most sensitive of the groups, they all have supersonic senses, but BC’s are especially heightened, possibly due to her lack of “special powers” (total fucking bullshit btw, fuck you ppg writers for treating BC like shit)

i think?? i’ve mentioned her ability to see in the future before here?? that’s because of the her senses. no one ask me about the science behind it, just go with it, okay? super eye sight= glimpses into the future

this ability has saved many of her teammates from colossal damage before, but (angst warning), because she’s had to see those images in her mind to be able to warn them about it, it’s left lasting trauma on her and has made her very protective of her friends and family. do not fuck with anyone that BC is close with, she will mess you up for it

one particular prediction she got showed Butch in a very… gruesome situation. i don’t want to go into detail, but it fucked her up for a bit, and there was about a week where Buttercup couldn’t/wouldn’t leave Butch’s side in fear of what could happen to him

she still sometimes gets flashes of that memory and it’s caused a couple panic attacks. when she found out, Blossom taught her some breathing exercises to help her through it if one comes on

THAT GOT SAD IM SO SORRY I FULLY INTENDED FOR THAT HEADCANNON TO JUST BE ABOUT BC HAVING A SPECIAL POWER AND IT DIVERGED INTO THAT

okay one SWEET headcannon for the road. Buttercup really values quality time with her loved ones, and though she doesn’t admit it often, everytime the team + the norms have their little hang out sessions, she sees it as a time for her to chill, and it’s those times that she feels her happiest and like she can genuinely be herself without judgement from classmates or the press

thank you for the ask!! i got a random burst of inspiration that i haven’t felt in a bit when this was sent in, i appreciate you for that :))

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh IWA ROUTE

a/n: uwuwuwuwuwu my mans iwa chan :’)

IM A SIMP FOR IWAIZUMI HAJIME (27) ATHLETE TRAINER

uwu filo!iwa in this :)

and also, listen to lauv while reading this since i wrote this and that song was playing on repeat O_O and also this song

this is my self-request uwu

HES SUCH A POUTY BABIE BLS LOVE ON HIM

onwards we goooo

hihihihihihi yey im so excited for this yall dont even know

ANYWAYS

so,,,,

when iwa first saw you, he thought you were just a cute little thing

your shorter height, your puffy cheeks, and the wide eyes you had whenever you saw someone, or him, do a really cool spiking move

he initially thought of you as a cute little sister hes never had

ehehe that finna change

then the,,,, bullying thing happened

if youd like to read this part, its right here

when he saw you bloodied, all battered,

dear lordie he was finna break some ankles

ONG I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT SANGWOO YET HERE I AM

like that image of you will probably stay in his memory until he dies of the ripe age of 200

ngl it kinda traumatized him a little bit of how tired and pained you look with the tears rolling down your face and the blood that was escaping your body through your wounds

god you didnt deserve any of that

you deserved the world and the universe yet some people dared to take away your worth

ooo he was so mad

miyo was,,,, hurt??

can i say that??

i dont wanna,,,, explain bara arms iwa hurting a girl so youre gonna have to imagine that for yourselves

but at the end when they said slap, he didnt just ✨S L A P ✨ her

he ✨ B R O K E   S O M E   A N K L E S ✨

oiks is actually scared of him after that

like oiks had to peel him off of her and towards the infirmary where you and the team were

‘IWAIZUMI HAJIME, STOP!’

oof the first and last time oikawa tooru ever said that full name

he was breathing heavy and he was so ✨ A N G R Y ✨ with what she did to you yet he hears your soft scoldings, telling him off for hurting a girl

he wanted to see you

like right now

iwa tore himself from oikawa’s grasp and ✨ N Y O O M E D ✨ himself to the nurse’s office

there, you sat on the bed with the others scattered either on other beds or on the floor 

you smiled at the sight of him and he walked towards you and engulfed you in his arms

‘youre okay now. im here’

he whispered and you buried your face into his chest, breathing in his unique scent

lavender mixed with peppermint

he refused to leave your side so he ✨ M A D E ✨ some room on the bed beside you to sit and he wrapped his arm around your waist, holding you close

you held his hand while oikawa talked to you and as you shamefully bowed your head

but you were forgiven and everything was all good until the third years really got into plan

makki and mattsun promised to handle it all as they had family in the justice field while oikawa would go and get the girl suspended

‘but what about me?! i want-’

‘iwaizumi, you literally hit her. it’d be best if you’re not involved right now as you were the only one who physically touched her in a harmful manner like that’

ong when it come to y/n, the meme team is replaced by the assassin team

he tried to fight but in the end, 3 overpowered 1 and he was forced to sit back and opted to comfort you instead

he made sure you were safe to walk home but that day, you were the one who asked him to spend time with him

just you two

like after seeing him seethingly enter back into the room, you reached out and held his hand in yours, eyes trained on your fingers fiddling with his

‘iwa-san,,,, you said you downloaded the new godzilla movie?’

you whispered but he could still hear you and his heart swelled at your meek voice

‘yea, i did. and my mom bought those chips you like’

your eyes flitted up to meet his eyes and a soft smile spread on your lips and there was this thumping in his heart

maybe that was the first time that iwaizumi hajime felt differently towards you

a smile that seemed to be differently perceived than the rest

and it wasnt for the whole team

it was for him

and him alone

the trek to his house was quiet but you would hum nursery rhymes or the songs you heard earlier in the radio while skipping every few steps and tightly holding on to his hand

iwaizumi’s olive eyes watched you still radiate energy despite being so hurt for a long time

they then trailed to your linked hands and he unintentionally squeezed it, only figuring out he did it when you looked up to him and squeezed it back with a smile

he wanted to do something to make you forget of what happened

he didnt want you to think about the cruelty and pain so he was going to make sure you would continue smiling 

thankfully, his parents werent home so he wouldnt have to explain why he has a bandage-covered girl with him 

iwa led you upstairs to where his room was and your eyes widened when you saw what was inside

tiny action figurines of animes like bakugo from boku no hero academia or a tiny pikachu on his desk

there was a large country flag that you didnt recognize and a few godzilla posters and volleyball players decorating beside it

however, besides those normal things you wouldve expected,

there were many polaroids

polaroid pictures that were everywhere with no specific layout pattern and just placed anywhere that had room

iwa watched as you dazedly walked forward and entered the room to move towards the wall by his desk that had the most pictures against it

from pictures of him and oikawa to the third years to him and his parents or just the sunrise and human silhouettes

your fingers reached forward and traced the picture of him and the third years when they were still first years and took a spontaneous trip to the beach

‘mattsun stole his dad’s car and drove us to the beach without a license’

iwaizumi’s voice answered your questions and you looked back, shimmering eyes

this room,,, wasnt just a normal, teenage boy’s room

this was a room that represented iwaizumi hajime

from his natural character description like his love for volleyball evident in the volleyball player posters to the underneath description that was hidden like his love for godzilla and his love of taking pictures of the people he cares about the most

it was all that made up iwaizumi hajime

your feet took you to stand in front of him, still standing at the doorway, and you stood on your toes to try and be eye-level with him

‘youre really cool, iwa-san’

you whispered and his ears turned red, not from the compliment, but by the close distance between you two

iwa clearedhis throat and ruffled your hair roughly, pushing you down slightly back to the balls of your feet

‘i already knew that, brat. now go and sit over there and be comfortable or whatever while i go get the food’

he hurriedly turned to hide his growing red face but you stopped him

‘iwa-san,,, ano,,, can,, i borrow a hoodie?’

you mumbled, nervously thinking he might refuse 

but he grunted a response, not bothering to turn around

‘take your pick’

you smiled and thanked him before bounding over to the wardrobe that was pushed against the wall across his bed that was against the corner by his window

inside had so many hoodies and there were also shirts that were hung up on the other half

they were all graphic tees that either had american bands or anime or game references

opting for a mint green hoodie that says ‘SONIC NYOOM’, you had an undershirt under your button up and as you slipped the bloodied long sleeve off, he swung the door open, eyes focused on the tray of coke filled glasses

then he looked up and almost dropped it at the sight of you,,, like that

‘OH MY GOD SORRY’

he shrieked and carefully but hurriedly backtracked back to the hallway

ofc you were shocked too but you quickly put the hoodie on and went to get him

iwaizumi’s heart was hammering in his chest and he was VERY red with embarrassment 

how could he see you like that?!

a girl who wasnt his shouldnt be seen like that by his eyes!

a touch on his arm reminded him of his position and he was still holding the tray but it was clear from the liquid in the cups that he was shaking slightly

‘iwa-san, its okay. i still had a shirt on so dont misunderstand’

you reasoned and he nodded, still not looking at you

the beginning of the movie was quite awkward as you both were sitting next to each other on the floor, backs against his mattress while the laptop played godzilla in front of yall

but it seems it was just him who was feeling this way bc you were intrigued at this weird monster that was squshing building under its foot and you continued munching on the food

iwa stood up and coughed

‘im going to take a shower’

you paused it and stared up at him, a chip halfway in your mouth

‘oh? you want me to wait for you?’

he agressively shook his head

‘no! its okay i watched it already. just,,,, watch it’

at the end, his words came out jumbled in his hurry to go and calm his heart down

you shrugged and unpaused the movie to continue watching

iwa spent his time in the shower, thinking and trying to think of stupid thoughts like the time oikawa almost choked on a peanut when they were in middle school to distract him of thoughts of how adorable you were

ONG HE WAS JUST SHOWERING AND INNOCENTLY DOING SHOWER THINGS

‘no, i said she was like a sister to me. and a sister she’ll remain’

okay ngl even though theyre not related, im worried yall would be like ‘iNcESt’ but bls a lot of people have tried to sibling-zoned people yet realized they liked them in THAT way

as he wrapped himself with a towel, he then realized

oh my god he didnt bring clothes

LMAO NOOOO IWAAAAA

iwa frantically looked around and he saw his mother’s sakura themed robe and he paused, arguing silently with him if he should wear it

well, it was either that or he went back into the room and showed you,,,,,, this

sucking in a sharp breath, he kept the towel around his waist and slipped his arms through the tight arm holes and he awkwardly tried to keep it tied since he was so much bigger than his tiny mom

what is happening

you saw the door opening and excitedly turned to tell him about this one scene when your voice died down in your throat at the sight of him 

here was iwaizumi hajime, ultra muscle buff man who gets abs with a simple glance of the gym, wearing an all too-tight pink, cherry blossom print robe that was so tight the tie around it was shaking to keep it together

‘dont’

he whispered and that snapped your remaining surprise to double over in laughter

‘its so cute! iwa-san, youre so cute!’

you shrieked and he growled and hurriedly went to to grab grey sweatpants and a shirt before running straight back to the bathroom

when he finally came back out, his face was still red and he was pouting as he sat next to you back to his seat

he could feel you staring at him while looking constipated as you held your laugh in and the second your eyes met, your giggles fell out

iwa rolled his eyes

‘yes yes let it out’

‘hehe, iwa-san, i didnt know you had that style’

‘it isnt! i didnt want to walk in here practically naked with you in the room!’

he growled and you nodded, still not quite believing it

‘hai hai. just say you like pink, i wont tell’

you waved and iwa felt offended

‘what do you mean ‘hai hai’?! its really not!’

your lips pursed to keep more giggles in and iwa growled again before lunging to grab your sides and tickling you 

of course being careful to not touch your wounds

you shrieked at the ticklish feeling and iwa laughed as you made weak attempts to push him off

‘huh? what was that? whatd you say? cant talk anymore, can ya?’

he teased

‘NO!!!! IWA-SAAAAN!!!!!’

you shouted in between your laughter and he finally let up when you squealed out your apologies and promised to never say it again

you breathed air into your lungs and sat back up to recollect yourselves 

iwa saw the strands that escaped your bun and they were scattered everywhere looking messy with your flushed cheeks and teary eyes

oh my god you were beautiful

he was so happy that you still kept that smile despite what happened and he was going to fight to keep it there

forever

it was about nearly the end when you finally realized how different iwaizumi’s hair looked

‘oi, iwa-san, your hair is not naturally spiky?’

he continued eating the chips while still watching the movie

‘what would you expect? even shittykawa’s hair is like this. did ya know that he wakes up extra early to curl it into that shitty mess?’

your jaw dropped

‘EEEHHHH???!!!!!!!’

later, you asked him how he does his hair for school and he blindly reached for the gel that was resting on his desk before tossing it to you

‘here’

you looked at it and flickered over to his hair and then you had the greatest realization

‘GODZILLA-SAMA!’

you pointed and he stopped eating, turning to give you a confused look

‘ha?’

you shrieked in an another round of laughter

‘IWA-SAN LIKES GODZILLA-SAMA SO MUCH HE DOES HIS HAIR AFTER HIM!!!!’

you doubled over to the floor, clutching your stomach and iwaizumi’s flustered expression made you laugh harder

he knew you were smart but,,, not this smart

you figured out his secret

the secret he’s hidden since he was practically a toddler

even his best friend, the guy hes known since he was born, never made the connection

yet here you are, figuring it out not even a year of knowing him

was this part of the many reasons he,, felt his heart beat for you?

oikawa was relieved that you had the bright twinkle in your eyes the next time he saw you and you were actively talking to iwaizumi in that early morning practice

‘oh? y/n-chan, is iwa-chan your best friend now?’

he tried not to sound jealous for his own best friend’s closeness to you and he added a teasing smile for extra measure

okay that hurted me a bit

iwaizumi snarled and blasted the volleyball towards his face before he could even yell or shout

‘iwa-san, dont do that’

you chided softly, small hands wrapping around his muscly arm

but iwa patted your head

‘deserving people deserve things to happen to them’

you rolled your eyes but smiled at him

‘hai hai’

the next week, iwa still kept a close eye on you in case someone else decided to mess with you 

but you told him that you swear youd tell him if someone did and he trusts you so he backed off a little

one day, he was eating lunch with the other third years in their classroom when you busted through the door, excitedly holding your phone

‘iwa-san! i figured out what country your flag was!’

he was halfway of shoving rice in his mouth when iwa looked at you

‘oh? you couldve just asked me though?’

you pouted and went to pull a chair from another desk to sit beside him

‘nooo. i wanted to work for that information. so you’re from the philippines, iwa-san?’

he nodded proudly

‘yep’

your eyes shone with interest

‘really?! you look japanese so it must be one of your parents. hey, iwa-san, which island are you from? i read about them and they have like 7641 islands-’

the others watched as you read through the article in your phone and iwa wasnt even following your words, instead staring at you with a dazed look and a lovesick smile

mattsun, makki, and oikawa exchanged looks of surprise because in all the years theyve known him especially oikawa, iwa was never interested in girls and such

he was a straight forward man with goals and straight sight to get them done with no distractions like relationships or love

yet here he was

slowly falling in love with you without even knowing he is

he continued to fall with the simplest things about you

from the perfume that you wore everyday to the way you would tuck your hair behind your ear when you were talking to someone

little quirks he used to miss was now being noticed even if you were right behind him and not in his line of vision

now, the boys were starting to see the difference of their precious ace

it was as if when he started to like you, they knew immediately by how he was acting

then one day during practice, you were late and they were all looking around for you and when they couldnt find you, they met back in the gym with nervous looks

iwa was already pacing around, a scary aura radiating off of him, and kindaichi, who went with him to look around the school, warned the others of iwaizumi’s worry

‘he was slamming doors open and he was walking so fast i had to run to even keep up with him’

then you busted through the gym door

you were actually picking up food for the team and sweets and you were held up when makki’s puffs were still being cooked

they rallied around you to make sure you werent hurt and you assured them but iwa pulled them away like picked them up and threw them off to the side and took you in his arms

iwa thought you were hurt and he was so worried something happened to you again

the hug was bone-crushing with how hard he was squeezing you but you felt his worry though and you freed your arms to wrap them around his neck

‘im okay, iwa-san’

you whispered in his ear and he nodded

‘let me hold you for a second’

he mumbled and you nodded

‘oi, theres food in the bags so make sure you eat it all. coach paid for it all so dont leave behind anything’

the mention of the food distracted them from you and iwa and they piled on top of each other to reach their food first

iwa was grateful that you distracted the others from seeing him being vulnerable towards you

‘i thought-’

‘shh,,, you have me right here, right now. safe and sound’

you knew how much seeing you all battered messed him up and his attempt of making you forget about it has been

and his worry of you being gone without no sign of where you went will forever be there and he will always have that thought in the back ofhis mind

the next time you came over, you actually met his parents

since you went home early before, you didnt catch his parents when they came home around 10 minutes after you left

but this time, they were already home with his mom cooking dinner while his father was sitting on the dining chair reading a newspaper

iwa walked through the door, shouting he was home, and you did the same thing to be customary

oof his parents were surprised

his mom turned around to share a look of surprise with her husband

sure they havent seen tooru in a while but they were pretty sure his voice wasnt that high pitched

right?

‘hajime, did you hit tooru so much you ruined his-’

then his mother stopped talking at the sight of you holding iwa’s hand tightly when yall stepped around the corner

you sheepishly smiled at them and bowed your head in greeting

oh my

so this was why iwaizumi hajime-san was really really really handsome

his parents were freaking good looking

like his mother was aphrodite with her flawless melanin skin and doe shaped eyes with a mole under her left eye

and his father was like ares, so handsome yet still manly and his appearance was a special type of good-looking with his buffness and ruffed appearance

‘iwa-san, i didnt know your parents were gods’

you mumbled, still staring at them

iwaizumi choked and coughed, flustered

‘oh my!’

his mother placed a hand over her mouth

‘hello’

his father stood up to walk in front of you and held his hand out

‘i’m hajime’s father’

you let go of hajime’s hand to shake his own with both of your hands

‘really nice to meet you! i’m l/n y/n! seijoh volleyball manager! first year!’

you introduced then stepped aside to fully bow 90 degrees

iwaizumi thought it was so cute of how flustered you were at meeting his parents

‘ay nako! nak, i didnt know you had such a beautiful girlfriend!’

she squealed and hurriedly went to stand in front of you and gently grasped your arms to stand you back straight and took a good look at you

‘youre so beautiful, iha. nice skin, pretty eyes, ang ganda!’

even with your research of tagalog, you didnt quite understand what she was saying

iwa noticed your slightly confused expression and he laughed, tucking his hands in his pockets

‘sorry, my nay speaks in taganese when she gets excited’

‘t-taganese?’

‘tagalog and japanese’

you nodded in understanding

it was time to put your basic reserach to test

‘hello po’

you greeted her and nervously took her hand and pressed the back of it to your forehead before slowly lowering it down and letting go

her wide eyes made you think you did something bad or even offensive!

‘i-i’

‘HAY NAKO, HAJIMEE~!’

she shrieked 

‘YUNG-!!! YUNG-!!!’

okay im terrified

iwa noticed his mother’s malfunction and gently wrapped his arm around her shoulder and veered her back to her kitchen

‘sorry about her, l/n-chan. its just,,,, hajime hasnt brought home a girl before. and you doing that mustve done it in for her’

you worriedly watched hajime calm his mom down with a smile and talking to her hushed

in their perspective,,,

‘shes so nice, nak! marry her, okay? shes very pretty and she made an effort to please your nanay, so go and marry her!’

ohmylord im nervous

initially, iwa only wanted to go and hang out with you and watch a movie

not have a full dinner with his family

lmao i shouldve told you that youve been friends for months now

his mother cooked sinigang and adobo and more filipino dishes, adding even more when she saw you were joining them

the dining table was covered with a large plate full of food and you were so fascinated because this was a side of iwa that you wanted to know more about

‘wow!’

you said, not thinking, at the deep-fried fish that still had its eyeballs intact

iwa genuinely thought you would’ve shyed away from it in disgust but your eyes were glistening with genuine interest

‘iwa-san! youre so lucky you get to eat this stuff!’

you told him, looking over at his direction

while mrs iwaizumi was lading in the soup into the big bowl, mr iwaizumi was sitting at the dining table, watching your interaction and hajime telling you what each food was and your noises of surprise

he watched his son laugh when you said the palabok reminded you of the orange boy hinata 

and he also watched his son look at you so lovestruck and exactly like how he looks at his wife

soon, his mother finished and they rounded the table before saying a quick prayer to bless the food and digging in

‘so, what do you want to start with, iha?’

mrs iwaizumi asked and your wide eyes looked around

‘hm, im not sure. whats your favorite iwa-san?’

you looked to your right towards hajime who was busy eating and stopped before pointing his lips towards a direction

‘that one’

‘hah?’

you asked 

mrs iwaizumi laughed at her son’s actions

‘sorry, l/n-chan, my son has adapted my traits. he was pointing to this, adobo. do you want some?’

‘yes please’

the smell made your mouth water and you started to tuck in

maybe it was your managerial instincts, but you used your napkin to wipe hajime’s lips and he was also used to this and turned his head to make it easier for you then he went to grab the water jug and re-fill your glass

once it was done, you both silently went back to eating

his parents watched his exchange and it was like watching a married couple taking care of each other

‘so, l/n-chan, you said you were their manager’

mr iwaizumi started and you nodded, wiping your lips

‘yes. i have been for a while now and please, call me y/n’

‘hajime actually told us he had a new manager for his team and tooru told us too. but we didnt know you were a girl. its just so interesting for hajime to bring you home as he has never really had any female friends’

mrs iwaizumi’s comment made you chuckle and iwa’s eyes widened in embarassment

‘nay! of course ive had female friends! ive had friends from all genders!’

he reasoned but you teasingly smiled at him

‘ah, im not really surprised. iwa-san doesnt exactly have the appearance that girls are brave enough to approach’

he sent you a betrayed glance

‘hah?! what’s that supposed to mean?!’

you shrugged, going back to your food

‘im just saying that you always have this intense look in your eyes and youre always frowning. but its cute so its fine. and besides, i dont think theyve seen you laugh since you dont really smile a lot, iwa-san’

‘but you’ve seen me smile!’

‘eung. but its only to me. if they knew the stuff i knew like you being a godzilla fan or your collection of succelents, theyd see you like oikawa-san’

‘HAH?! YOU SEE ME LIKE SHITTYKAWA?!’

mrs iwaizumi held her husband’s hand on the table as they watched you both bicker and tease each other with a smile

hajime has always been on the rougher side of things and he doesnt really have many close friends other than the team and even then, tooru is the only one he can really be himself around

yet here you are, bringing out the boy hajime really is and making him laugh, a sound his parents dont really hear outside the house

and your eyes

god, your eyes held admiration, life,,,, and you might not know this yet,, but love

her eyes trailed her son who teasingly headbutted you and you faking a surprise and doing the same

then you heard his father’s cough which brought you back to where you were and the situation and the people that were there

you felt embarrassment creeping up inside you and you bowed

‘im sorry for acting like that, iwaizumi-san. i-’

‘no, dont apologize, darling. please, dont’

her soft smile made the nerves in you ease and hajime’s father winked at him and he knew exactly what his father was trying to say

after dinner, you volunteered to wash the plates but they veered you away from there and towards the living room 

‘oh my god, pops! stop her!’

hajime whined because he knows what his mother was going to do

she was going to show him his baby pictures

you sat on the beige couch and watched as she reached under the coffee table and revealed a few albums that had iwaizumi hajime written on the cover

‘now, y/n-chan, hajime wasnt always this pouty. in fact, he used to always have a smile on his face and laughed at the littlest things! like right here! a leaf fell on him and he-’

stories of his childhood was exchanged throughout the night and you were laughing so hard that tears were falling out of your eyes while hajime wrapped your shoulders with his arm and he would squeeze you tightly whenever you made fun of him

‘oh dear! iwa-san! you-!’

you didnt finished as you continued to laugh and he sighed

‘nay, can we go eat dessert now?’

he asked his mother and she was beginning to feel sorry for him so she smiled and nodded

‘okay. hajime, come help me’

‘iwaizumi-san, i can-’

‘no, y/n-chan. dont you worry your pretty little head about anything and just look through more of these pictures’

hajime followed his mother to their kitchen before she stopped and turned around

his mother’s height was around 5′1 so she had to look up to meet his eyes and her hands were clasped around his biceps

she is definitely beautiful and he cursed at how little he got from his mother other than her skin color

mrs iwaizumi married her husband and immigrated to japan to have a family and your polite action from earlier moved her as she hasnt experienced that in nearly 2 decades

‘nay, shes,,,, just a friend’

he reasoned, a wobbly smile to cover up his want for that title to change

yet mothers def knows best and saw right through it

she gave him a firm look with furrowed eyebrows and pursed lips

‘nak, dont lie to yourself. i raised you to never tell a lie and lying to yourself is considered lying to someone. she’s not your KAibigan, shes your kaIBIGan’

now, hajime knew a little bit of tagalog as his mother made sure he was able to at least speak to his relatives back home

so he got a hint of what she was saying yet was confused 

then he realized it

his blush creeped up his neck and he chuckled, ducking his head low to avoid his mother’s eyes

‘nak, listen to me. papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako. youre still growing and you may be confused right now, but make sure to think wisely and dont live with regrets. nanay doesnt want you to go through it all by yourself since she knows how hard it was. so please, listen to me and pursue her. shes special, hajime. she makes you so, so happy. i see it in your eyes, her eyes, god has fated you together. i feel it’

now if a filipino mother actually tells their son to go after a girl, thats a pretty big thing as its known that mothers are the hardest to convince and are fiercely protective of their sons, especially if its an only son, but mrs iwaizumi literally tells hajime to go court you because she sees how happy you make him and is willing to let hajime go to you 

definitely his mother’s words stuck to him and as he walked you home, he was busy thinking that he was quiet and you were worried as he would be talking right now

‘iwa-san? you okay?’

you asked and he blinked, taken back to reality from his daydream

‘hm, yea’

he answered to look at you

hes been pining for months now and he slipped his hand into yours, holding it tightly

uwu if you want to see iwa moments with y/n, read through the seijoh manager series as theres a lot of them in there

he wanted you yet, he knew it would be selfish of him to keep you in the future

he would be a college student while you’re in your 2nd year

would you want to be so far away from him?

could you handle it?

‘yanno, iwa-san, your dad told me something interesting’

you suddenly said, squeezing his hand and kicking rocks while looking up at the night sky

‘what was it? something embarrassing?’

he immediately feared that they told you that story when he was still potty training and he fell straight into the toilet 

‘hmm,,, no. he told me that he met your nanay when she was a high school student and he was a in an intern at your lolo’s company’

iwa listened and he had a smile at how you said the tagalog word for grandfather

‘he said she almost ran him over by her bike and she fled but they met again when she visited your lolo. through that, they became friends and then she confessed to him. apparently, he declined because she was younger than him, although just 3 years, and he was leaving for his own country in a few months so he didnt know if she would wait for him’

were,,,, you reading his mind?

iwa knew of his parents story yet with you telling it, it sounded a million times more interesting

‘yet she promised him. thats it, just a promise. that she would remain faithful to him, she would keep herself for him and when she finally graduates, she would go and find him and they could be happy together. he said it was the longest 3 years of his life yet when he saw in the airport, he felt like the wait was worth it. because he gets to hold the embodiment of happiness in his arms for the rest of his life’

you finished and he hummed

‘times have changed, y/n’

‘even you?’

you stopped walking and he naturally stopped too

‘would you wait for me like he did if i promised myself to you? if i promised you that despite the few years of waiting, i would still be yours and remain yours until we’re ready to be together?’

WHAT IS HAPPENING!!!!!!!

iwa’s heart was drumming in his chest and he wanted so desparately to look at you in the eyes but you were making that impossible as your head was bowed and your eyes were fixed on the concrete you both stood on

‘of course, i would’

your head snapped up and e/c clashed with olive eyes 

‘i would wait for you. we may,,, be young right now. and they might think we’re,,, being impulsive. but i dont care. because right now, all that matters, is you and me. we can think about the consequences later, but right now, i just want to kiss you’

he admitted, red ears seen by the moonlight

your body shook

‘do it, no balls’

well,,,, he has the balls

and under the moon, at 8:34 pm, iwaizumi hajime kissed you

OML THIS REMINDS ME OF THAT SEIJOH SHORT WHEN HE WAS TALKING TO OIKAWA AND HIS NEIGHBORS ARE LIKE ‘AH SHITE HERE WE GO AGAIN’

it didnt come as a surprise to the team when yall announced your relationship

well,, you both actually didnt tell them outright until like weeks later

what can you say?

you and iwa are very private people and you dont really like to show off in public

even though yall lit rally are stuck to the hip and he does things that he doesnt even think hes doing but he is totally doing

you were only caught by,,, guess who

mrs iwaizumi

it was weeks when she met up with mrs oikawa bc theyre totally best friends and thats why their sons are best friends

she told her of her son’s girlfriend and how sweet you were and how mrs oikawa should be jealous that her son doesnt have a girlfriend like that and the standards for oikawa’s future girlfriend was raised just by that teasing

oikawa literally came into after school practice after a phone call with his mother, fuming

you were talking to kindaichi and yahaba with iwa beside you, arm around your waist totally not obvious guys

and yall just saw an angry oikawa stomping towards yall

‘y/n-chan, iwa-chan, why the hell did my mom just call me and tell me that im not allowed to bring home a girl if she doesnt have h/c with s/c (skin color) and e/c and h/m (height measurement)?’

you shrugged

‘oikawa-san, i’ve never even met your mom before’

but iwa had a hunch

‘ahh,,,, my mom mustve been bragging to your mom. yanno how they are’

oikawa shot him a disbelieving look

‘IWA-CHAN! ITS BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU GOT A GIRLFRIEND AND I DONT! BUT ITS WORSE THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS AFFECTING MY FUTURE ONE!’

he ranted, completely unaware that he just outed your entire relationship to the team

tbh they werent even surprised

like they were all ‘damn now shes taken. but cant say i didnt see that coming’

they took it pretty well too

they know how iwa is and they literally respect this mans and if anything, out of the whole team, he is the best candidate for your boyfriend

dating iwa is totally normal and yall just have increased touches?? like i dont know how to explain like he’s constantly holding your hand or arm around your waist or shoulder etc

literally nothing changed

you still have dinners at his house and iwa also knows your family and all that

and the most important thing is,

he kept that promise

even when he was literally at the other side of the world,

he still remained yours and you kept your own promise and waited patiently for his return

OOOOO TIMESKIP IWAIZUMI HAJIME (27) ATHLETE TRAINER

a little girl with bouncing dark brown hair was giggling as she maneuvered herself around the tall people

a shout from her parents and little sister was only making her run faster until she crashed into the legs of the person she’s been looking for

his blue jersey was similar to hers and she raised her arms up with a bright smile

‘uncle!’

she yelled and he chuckled before hoisting her up to his arms

‘ah, reyna-chan, didnt mom and dad tell you to wait for them? look! tala-chan is crying because you left her’

she followed his finger to her little sister, who was in her father’s arms, crying and reaching out for her

‘nee-chan!’

she screeched

finally, her parents were there and you were scolding her for running off

‘reyna, just dont do that again’

you said and she nodded, pouting and holding her uncle’s thumb

‘thank you, tooru-san. i dont know what i would do if she got lost’

oikawa grinned then gently patted the hat-covered head of the newborn baby girl that was strapped to your chest

‘hehe, its okay, y/n-chan. after all! uncle is always there to save reyna-chan!’

she shrieked when he held her up and hajime shook his head in his antics

‘where’s the others? i saw them in the stands but-’

he was cut off when he heard the shouts and yells from the other side that could only belong to your boys

‘woooo!!!!’

kindaichi’s voice echoed through the place and mattsuhana were rushing to greet their goddaughters

tala shyly accepted the arms of mattsun while makki was squealing quietly when darna was holding his finger tightly as she slept

‘taka-san, wanna hold her? she’s easier to hold when she’s sleeping’

‘oh can i?’

his eyes held the stars as the 11-month-old raised her fist then lowered it back down, sleep still heavy on her

‘waaa~ darna-chan is growing really quickly’

kunimi whispered, peering over his senpai to look at the baby whos eyes kept fluttering

you chuckled while looking at oikawa and him playfully bouncing reyna

‘tooru-san, congratulations on your win. it seems you’ve beaten hajime this time’

you complimented and the brunette smiled brightly at you, adjusting the little girls in his arms

‘ei, y/n-chan, i’ll beat him next time, and next time and the next time!’

every time he said ‘next’ he gave his goddaughter a kiss on her cheek making her giggle

your husband was pouting at the reminder of japan’s loss and you reached over to wrap your arms around him causing hajime to turn his head away from you

‘aww, my 4th baby is sad now’

you cooed and cupped his face delicately on your hands making him sulk and whine

the others, watching the scene, continue to be surprised at this side of their captain that remains to only be caused by you

‘ugh, nearly a decade later and theyre still sappy’

yahaba gagged and watari slapped his back

‘let them be happy’

‘come on! im in the mood for spaghetti! you like spaghetti, tala-chan?’

‘eung!’

mattsun cheered with kindaichi and she raised her hands to share the same energy

once everyone was situated in a restaurant and ordered, small talks were shared around the table of the past

‘haha, spaghetti is how your baba found out about you, tala-chan’

yahaba’s comment made the walking group laugh at the memory of seeing the video you sent in the seijoh group chat

‘i wanted to be creative with my second child since my firstborn was revealed by this loudmouth’

oikawa winced at the indirect diss at him

‘y/n-chan! i was really excited to find out i was going to be an uncle!’

‘youre already an uncle, bakakawa!’

hajime has toned down the insults to keep it pg for the children

‘but-!’

they started to argue, the oldest daughter looking disinterested as she sees this happening or hearing it whenever her dad and uncle video chat

‘it took me forever to find a ‘prego’ pasta sauce in the grocery store like i dont know why. was there a shortage?’

you complained, remembering the frustration

your fellow first years snickered at you and kindaichi prodded fun at you

‘is that why you just outright told him you were pregnant the day you found out?’

you rolled your eyes and watched makki and mattsun and tala watch the youngest as she wiggled her fists in the air and was awake enough to babble ‘makki’ over and over again

that was her first word and although she is now able to say a few words, she still repeats her first word over and over again

‘we had a fight and it just came out so of course i didnt have time to prepare!’

you defended and hajime finished his antics with oikawa just as you said that

‘what-what was your words again? ‘i really want to push you off the roof right now but i want my baby to meet their bastard father first?’‘

you gasped at that regretful statement and punched him in the arm

‘hajime! stop!’

you whined and covered your face with the sleeves of your his hoodie

‘hehe, y/n, you should do that again’

kyotani teased and you glared at him

‘shut up kyotani’

eyebrows were raised

‘eh? are you more hormonal?’

‘do you realize you already have 3 daughters?’

‘iwaizumi-san really wants to have a volleyball team family’

‘at least wait a year and a half, you animals’

‘so,, like hes that good huh?’

hajime growled and leaned over to intimidate but you snarled and jumped on your feet, being held back by the arms by kindaichi and hajime to stop yourself from leaping across the table to kill yahaba

‘keep talking like shite and i’ll make sure none of you become the godfather of this baby’

okay what

one, did you just curse

and two, this baby?!

‘im big sister again?!’

reyna ruined the surprised silence and then chaos ensued

‘WHAT!’

‘BABY?!’

‘THIS BABY?!’

you just realized what you said and smirked at the chaos you created and sat back down, leaning on the back of the chair and smugly taking a sip of your water

‘oh the power i hold in my hands’

you teased and oikawa pointed at you

‘when! how long!’

you looked at hajime who was so shocked that his eyes glazed over and a passerby wouldve thought he was dead

‘apparently 3 months’

oikawa started counting and his eyes widened at that thought

‘you-! you stayed in argentina! in my house! my house-!’

‘yep. both of them created under your house’

what 

!!!!!

hajime fainted 

oikawa screamed

a/n: okay i admit i got a little too carried away with this one. i just love filo!iwa and this was mostly written in his pov bc cmon we all know we love iwa and fell in love w him the moment we saw him

[surveillance-0011]

Incredibly self indulgent Isaac au that I came up with like last week that’s basically just a dumping ground for concepts/interpretations I found cool but couldn’t fit into my main headcanon with everything somehow strung together. Everything listed is tentative.

Isaac is a suicidal teen living in a small-ish town who discovers his basement is filled with monsters and even demons and serves as a portal to a parallel dimension inhabited by even more strange entities

Cain is an immortal man roaming this alternate dimension. He is wracked with guilt, for he believes he killed his brother Abel. When he’s not just surviving, he’s scamming the stupider inhabitants of the realm and hunting for bugs.

Judas is some sort of demon or ghost, maybe a possessed man, but he’s scaaaaryyy. Creepily calm, freakishly tall, and perpetually smiling.

Eve is haunted by demons who make her life a living hell (whenever other people she knows aren’t) and try to goad her into killing herself or making a deal with the Devil for a better life- whichever comes first. Eventually she realizes her curse can even turn her into a demon, to make matters worse. She eventually ends up in the parallel dimension, where she realizes she’ll have to make a choice of whether to stay or go, and fast.

Or maybe I’ll just make her a demon. Idk. I kinda want her to just be a demon, so whatever sticks will stick. Maybe she’ll lose her internal battle and end up as one for good, with the above being her backstory. As I said, all very tentative.

Gnc/masc-presenting Maggie.

Lazarus is also immortal and is very emo about it. No literally.

Bethany is his younger sister. She’s a major geek who gets mad at Laz for being angsty over his immortality bc she thinks it’s cool and hopes she’s immortal, too (too afraid to test it out, Laz only realized he was immortal after he survived and healed from an accident that would’ve killed him). Pretty mean but most of it is a defensive front from bullying and being ostracized at school, due to her weight and personality

Eden is an otherworldly being that manifests as a wolf-person with big Original Oc Do Not Steal vibes

Lilith is a young child (still a demon btw) who sews up demon friends because of how lonely she is. Instead of a blindfold, her hair just covers her eyes. Shes mainly made smaller, lesser demons, but some of her creations are more formidable.

Samson is actually short and kind of puny, but, like his biblical counterpart, he is blessed with super strength.

??? and the Lost are still dead Isaacs. The Forgotten is a manifestation of Isaac’s forgotten dreams, the person he once was and what he wanted to be, while The Keeper is a living doll that houses memories and joy in its self, locked away. Mischievous, it keeps Isaac’s good memories and reasons to have hope away from him.

The Adversary and Dark One are mirror images of each other, two parts of a whole connected to a magic mirror. They torment Eve the most of all the demons.

Oh and most demons are surprisingly small, with only a select few individuals exceeding human height- those being Satan, the Fallen, Krampus and Big Horn… and mayyybe Siren + The Lamb. Everyone else is tinyyy.

Dogma is p much the same concept wise, if a little more nebulous/ambiguous. It can also take the form of the very evangelist tv persona Mrs. Moriah watches the most.

[intrulogical]

Worthy

author’s note: i will never, ever write a fanfiction ever again. ever. but anyway, this fanfic is just logan angst and remus helping him, and i never typically write stuff but i just like logan angst this much. BIG THANKS to the logang discord for beta reading (oh my poor tenses). specifically, big thanks to: elle, aj, jem, orb, ellie, anders, mac, reese, roan, remy, zippy and everyone else who read it before i got to post it! (i'm not sure if you read it but shoutouts to meg and lo too bc you two are cool)

pairings: Remus/Logan (can be viewed platonically or romantically)

warnings: Logan angst, morally ambiguous light sides & Thomas (I aimed it to be canon compliant but the sides are still Rude), glitching, self-deprecation, self-neglect, self-doubt, bruises, emotional breakdown, self confidence issues, crying

word count: 6242

summary: Remus stood nervously in front of Logan’s door, hesitant to knock as he held an ice pack in hand.

It was ridiculous, really. Remus wasn’t one who’d typically provide comfort for someone, but he couldn’t help but wrap his mind around what he saw earlier.

or,

Remus underestimates how neglected Logan is and attempts to help.

(ao3 link)

Remus stood nervously in front of Logan’s door, hesitant to knock as he held an ice pack in hand.

It was ridiculous, really. Remus wasn’t one who’d typically provide comfort for someone, but he couldn’t help but wrap his mind around what he saw earlier. 

While it had been some days since the episode was filmed, the tension that scattered the Mindscape was still incredibly thick. The general atmosphere had been so impossibly unnerving that even Remus felt discouraged to execute any pranks he had in mind because he was just that bothered. Even the “Light” Sides’ daily routine shifted. Remus hadn’t seen them do a Movie Night or eat meals together for a while, and despite how uninvolved Remus was with their problems, it disturbed him to no end. 

Something even more worrisome was what Remus had witnessed during dinner some time ago. While the sides didn’t gather during dinner like they used to, Patton still prepared meals for them to eat. Sadly, the sides refused to eat as a group and would simply grab a plate of what Patton prepared and walk right back into their room. Earlier, Remus joined Janus in grabbing something for themselves, and coincidentally, they ran into an uncharacteristically unkempt Logan.

As Remus was about to jab at how incredibly unlike himself he looked, he noticed something off about Logan’s neck-- there was a large splotch of fresh, discolored bruising that coated it. Janus and Remus both shared the same sentiment as they gazed at the logical side in unease, but Logan quickly detached himself from the scene, making a beeline for his room.

There was no mistaking it-- those bruises that covered Logan’s neck were identical to the bruises Remus witnessed manifesting right after Janus violently pulled Logan out of the episode using his cane. As the sides weren’t technically human, some of their injuries heal more quickly than usual, but their healing powers were heavily dependent on how much Thomas acknowledged their worth as a side. One would think it odd that Remus would be informed of the semantics of how a side’s health works, but as a “Dark” Side, he was well acquainted with how physical injuries would heal slower as Thomas didn’t value them as important as the “Light” Sides. 

And honestly, it was quite concerning that Logan, one of the more important “Light” Sides, suffered the same kind of neglect that Remus was experiencing.

Maybe that’s why Remus stood in front of Logan’s door. The realization that Logan was just as disregarded as him unexpectedly yet intensely haunted his mind. Despite how different Logan and Remus were in terms of personality, they shared striking similarities with one another, from the way they were treated by others to how talkative they both were. The thought of how Remus related immensely to Logan’s struggles resonated with him, and while he obviously couldn’t forget how poorly they treated each other in the past, he still aimed to mend their relationship for it to become more durable.

After much stalling and lip biting, Remus rose his hand and rapped on Logan’s door frantically. Remus couldn’t help himself; his nervousness mixed with his unending concern amplified his jitteriness. From the other side of the door, he heard a yelp from Logan.

“I apologize, I’m currently working, so I cannot accompany whoever--”

“Do you really think that’s going to stop me from barging in, Mark Zucker-turd?” Remus retorted, earning a disgruntled sound from Logan.

“Remus,” Logan said, sounding exasperated, “Can’t you simply forget about what you’ve witnessed a few moments ago? I assure you that I’ve got everything under--”

“Again, do you think anything you say is gonna stop me from barging in?” Remus replied. Logan was silent for a few moments. Once silent, there were a few things Remus didn’t notice before he knocked. On the other side of the door, Remus heard soft whispers as if there were imps scattered around Logan’s room speaking to him, maybe mocking him. While the voices were hushed, they spoke in unison, yet nothing about it sounded like a symphonic harmony.

Eventually, Logan replied, “Do you really have to?”

“Well, no, I suppose not, but none of my visits ever have a purpose behind them, do they?” Remus said, then continued with, “I also brought some ice.”

He heard a sigh coming from Logan, “Fine, you may enter, but I strictly prohibit you from staying for more than five--!”

Remus didn’t allow Logan to finish his sentence before slamming the door open with some vigorous force. Logan jolted at his thunderous entrance, even dropping his pen from the suddenness of it. Remus grinned widely at the logical side, shutting the door quickly as he sauntered toward Logan. “Catch,” Remus said, tossing the ice pack at Logan, and impressively, Logan caught it.

“Thank you,” Logan said in a deadpan tone, immediately pressing the ice pack against his livid bruises, “but you didn’t have to do that.” Logan finished and turned away from Remus to continue his work after he retrieved his dropped pen.

Remus was about to retort with some witty insult before the voices that Remus heard from outside began to chime in again, this time more audible as Remus was inside Logan’s room. Allowing himself to stay silent for a few moments, he decided to listen to the voices that echoed through Logan’s mess of a room. The whispers were just as overwhelming as Remus expected them to be; all of their voices synced together inharmoniously, creating an ear-piercing, bothersome noise.

“Pardon Thomas’s thoughts. I understand that they can be… overbearing, at times.” Logan said, noticing Remus’s disturbed expression, “They’re usually not this clamorous but Thomas has been deeply troubled lately— I’m sure you can understand. Then again, I’m assuming this is tame compared to your room, yes?”

“Well, yea, but there are definitely more voices in your room compared to mine. I’d rather listen to a kindergarten being burned down rather than this crap.” Remus stated. 

“That is a lovely image to picture, Remus.” Logan said sarcastically.

“You’re welcome, Dick-ola Tesla.” Remus replied, earning a tired huff from Logan. “What are you doing, by the way? Y’know Thomas isn’t planning to devote any time this week to work on something-- self-care and all that jazz.”

Logan whipped his head around, shooting Remus an incredulous look, “You are aware that I am in charge of Thomas’s memories, right? I’ve had to postpone my work for a few days for… confidential reasons. Because of that, I have to reorganize everything at this moment before the workload becomes too overwhelming.” Logan paused before continuing, “Not that I’d become distressed, of course. I find it rather exhilarating, actually… not that you care, anyway.”

“What?” Remus exclaimed, “No! No, all is good— it looks like you needed someone to talk to, anyway—“

“I was performing quite adequately without your company earlier, Remus.” Logan’s tone remained unwaveringly monotonous.

“Yeah, your gigantic bruise totally proves that,” Remus retorted and Logan stopped writing, “Are you trying to summon Janus or something? Look,” Remus fiddled with his sleeves, “I’m not one who usually provides comfort, I mean—“

“I do not need to be comforted.” Logan sneered.

“When did Thomas stop listening to you?” Remus decided to cut to the chase. The question must’ve set something off within Logan because Remus could hear the sound of paper crinkling. Remus decided to approach Logan to better converse with him, and that’s only when he noticed that Logan had ripped out a page from his notepad and crumpled it in fury.

“What, hit a nerve, dork?” Remus asked, but Logan still refused to look at him directly.

“Thomas still listens to me,” Logan said, but like the expression he had at the moment, his tone was doubtful, unconfident, maybe even mixed with a little bit of hurt. It pained Remus to see him in such denial, and his eyebrows even knit in concern as he observed that Logan’s hand began to shake.

“You know, Thomas doesn’t listen to me either. Then again, I do tell him once a week that he should drink an entire bottle of cooking oil… then again, he doesn’t listen to Orange—“ he saw Logan flinch, “—and Janus either, you know, before the episode, and they are both pretty good guys—“

“I am not like you or your friends, Remus,” Logan said, clearly irritated. “My methods of teaching have just been very difficult to comprehend for Thomas and the others, so I merely have to correct my flaws for Thomas to listen to what I have to say. That is all.”

“Dude, I know I’m just as crazy as Sweeney Todd if he were on crack, but that is seriously fucked up—,“

“I don’t need your input on how flawed I am.” Logan swiftly interrupted him, voice raised to the point it combated the millions of other voices that spoke across the room. Before Remus could reply, Logan grabbed a remote from the corner of his desk and pressed a button that turned on all of the televisions that decorated his walls. Remus had always acknowledged the televisions, but he never knew their specific purposes. 

Knowing Logan needed to cool off for a few seconds, he approached the televisions to observe what they were showcasing. All of the screens depicted different events that occurred for the past few days in Thomas’s point of view, ranging from when he achieved his new highscore in Word Crush to when he, Lee, and Mary Lee had a heart to heart about why Thomas was extremely glum during the reception. While it was somewhat a miraculous experience that Logan had access to all of Thomas’s memories, the audio that came from all the speakers and the voices that reverberated through the walls created an eerie dissonance-- Remus was surprised Logan didn’t seem bothered at all by the deafening noise. 

“I apologize for raising my voice,” Logan said softly. Remus almost didn’t catch it by how much it blended in with the blaring voices. 

“It’s alright, it’s not like you started World War Three or anything.” Remus said, in hopes of making Logan at least chuckle. He was met with no response. Remus chewed on his lip before carrying the conversation further, “Can I just say that all of these TV’s and voices are like, big stalker material? Like, you literally can witness any moment in Thomas’s life, whether he wants you to see it or not, and you can maybe even jerk off to--” “I aim to be as professional as I can be as I handle all of Thomas’s memories, Remus. It would be inappropriate for me to utilize them for personal gain.” Logan said, and Remus thought it was troubling how Logan could easily mask his emotions with a snap of his fingers. One second ago he showed distress, and now, he is indifferent. 

“You won’t even use it for blackmail against the other sides?”

“Janus-- Deceit--well, I am unsure of what to refer to him as since he didn’t reveal his name to me directly--is rubbing off on you.”

“So is that a ‘maybe’?”

“I won’t use it as blackmail, Remus,” Logan repeated himself, “Again, I am supposed to be professional.”

Remus rolled his eyes at him jokingly as he watched the different scenes that each television was projecting. On one screen, it showed the exact moment Logan joined the conversation as a person inside a textbox. The scene was highly unsettling as Logan’s digital form looked slightly comedic, but what was undoubtedly more unsettling were the reactions he had gained from appearing. Thomas was about to punch him, Roman had infinite eye rolls for him, Patton’s optimism was so evidently fake that Remus couldn’t help but cringe at his positivity. 

While Remus enjoyed the moments he spent with Janus and Orange (and maybe even Virgil despite his newfound spite for the “Dark” Sides), there were also some moments that Remus wasn’t so fond of remembering. Roman and Patton’s behavior towards Logan was reminiscent of the times Janus and Orange would both glare at Remus for being too insufferable. Or maybe it reminded Remus of the days they had to ignore him for being too intolerable. 

Logan and Remus really weren’t that different, after all.

“How do you cope watching footage of the others beating you up during every conversation?” Remus said, hoping it would get Logan to open up once more.

Logan stopped writing and shot Remus an unamused look. Remus noticed his grip on the ice pack had tightened as he viewed the television that showed the painful memory. “Last time I checked, I haven’t gotten into a physical altercation with any of the sides, and the closest I’ve gotten is when Janus forced me out of my textbox using his cane.”

“What I mean is, how do you cope watching footage of others shit talking to you? I would rather eat my eyeballs downed in superglue rather than watch any of this footage.”

“This is necessary for Thomas’s--,”

“Yea, yea, it’s very fucking important for Thomas. Y’know what I think? Thomas should just fuck off.”

“Real mature, Remus.”

“But aren’t you hurt at all? Thirty years of watching others insult you nonstop is kind of… overkill.”

If Remus wasn’t being observant, he would’ve missed it, but Remus swore he witnessed some items and furniture within the room glitch for a second. It was as if the furniture belonged to some dysfunctioning game and its material would transform into mere polygons for a few seconds. Remus’s eyes widened, but Logan looked unperturbed as if he didn’t see anything transform at all.

“Thirty years of organizing Thomas’s memories only prompted me to become more professional. Please stop trying to push this narrative that I feel anything negative when I have not felt, nor experienced emotions for that matter, at any moment in my life.” Logan said, voice rising again. This prompted the furniture to glitch one more time, and like earlier, Logan chose to avoid speaking of the elephant in the room.

“Well, I’m not pushing anything! I’m just asking a few harmless questions, that’s all.” Remus pouted, “But you do admit that memories like these prove that you haven’t been listened to for a long time.”

Logan sighed, stiffening a bit, “I…” Logan started, and his death grip on his ice pack is starting to worry Remus, “I suppose there’s no avoiding the fact that Thomas hasn’t been as attentive to my contributions as he was before but I-- I’m sure I can conjure up a plan for that to change. The others had made it understandable that I have been obnoxiously invasive for the past few episodes so if my hypothesis is correct, everything should return to normal if I become less overbearing for Thomas and become more passive while still being able to contribute to their discussions.”

Remus stood wide-eyed as he tried to process what Logan just rambled on about, only able to synthesize about half of it. Logan, with an embarrassed flush on his face, looked away, returning to his notepad, “I apologize. I intended to be less invasive yet ironically did the opposite just a moment ago.” he chuckled sourly to himself before proceeding, “You should probably go.”

“No!” Remus exclaimed, approaching Logan hurriedly.

“No?” Logan quirked an eyebrow at him.

“I’m going to stay until I…” Remus fumbled with his sleeves again, “Until I get to help you. You’re not doing okay, Logan. You’re hurting yourself.” Remus said, trying to sound as sympathetic as he can.

Logan, on the other hand, pulled a troubled expression, before masking it again. The glitches around the room were starting to return and the noise was becoming more unbearable.

“I’m not going to repeat myself, Remus. The only injury I possess at this moment is the neck injury you and Janus inflicted upon me. Other than that, I am doing satisfactory.” Logan said, his voice was wavering once more. 

“Logan, out of every side in this hell of a Mindscape, I can understand the feeling of distraught and pain you feel when you get dismissed by the other sides. Their treatment of you isn’t normal, and I cannot emphasize how much nothing about you is flawed or wrong like what the others imply--”

“I-- It’s interesting how my room is beginning to make you speak more logically--”

“You can’t avoid the subject, Logan.” Remus said, and Logan didn’t reply. Remus tried assembling a rational argument within his head, trying to recall anything he remembered from Orange about some weird philosophical lesson that he could apply at the moment. Then, he turned to his left, eyeing the largest television present in Logan’s room. On the bottom right of the screen, there was a red, flashing text that said “LIVE” which implied that whatever is being broadcasted on this screen was what Thomas’s current point of view looks like. And there, on the screen, was Janus, who was presently being summoned by Thomas.

And fortunately, an argument popped into Remus’s head.

“Okay, let’s think about this logically, since that is technically your gig, right?” Remus began, “If the others, including Thomas, stopped listening to you because you were too ‘invasive’, then why did Thomas begin listening to Janus even if he’d only met him once or twice before the episode was filmed?”

Logan gazed at him nervously, his hand reddening by how hard he was gripping the ice pack, “I-- I believe Janus offered some valuable points that would’ve contributed better to Thomas’s dilemma compared to the arguments presented by Patton and Roman--”

“Okay, you got it, but quick question: do you think Janus would’ve ‘improved himself’ if he were a little less invasive or present during that episode?”

Logan looked like his mouth has gone dry, “Uhm--”

“‘Cause if I remember correctly, you weren’t fucking around either during that episode. You presented the others with evidence to back up their arguments-- you practically did the same thing Janus did in this episode with me for when I first appeared! All of this evidence you have stacked up for some stupid hypothesis you formed is all so contradicting!”

“And what’s your point?” Logan glowered.

“This problem you have right now with ‘not being listened to’ isn’t something related to how invasive a side is or how much one talks. Janus’s situation is practically similar to yours, but isn’t it weird that he got listened to for the same reasons behind why you’re getting ignored?”

The thoughts were getting louder again as Thomas began to converse with Janus. Many of the thoughts complimented Janus, and while it exhilarated Remus that Janus was beginning to be more listened to, this only backed up the argument Remus was about to make.

“Don’t you think that maybe, maybe, the others are simply being a little bit too unfair about how they treat you? That nothing about you is wrong at all? It isn’t you who’s being unfair here, Logan, it’s the others! It has always been the others! These thoughts only prove that Thomas has been unfairly biased against you--”

“That-- that doesn’t make sense,” Logan says, and this time, he stood from his office chair. “The others have repeatedly informed me that-- that they know what’s best for me. They all share the same sentiments about-- about me, and-- and they’ve always made sure to showcase to me how correct they are compared to me, and this ‘unfair bias’ they have against me cannot be a possibility--,”

Logan’s saddened tone mixed with all the noises was just sheer torture to Remus’s ears. The thoughts that complimented Janus made it even more uncomfortable as it clashed with Logan’s self-deprecating sentences. “But what if it is? You need to value yourself a little bit more, Logan. You’re ruining yourself by letting others overpower and dominate you as if you were some kind of utility--”

“I told you, I am doing just FINE.”

Right as Logan’s voice began to reverberate across the room as if it was there to mock him, the room proceeded to taunt Logan with a thought that was somehow  louder than the rest of the voices. The voice seemed to articulate itself in a less frantic pace, mimicking Thomas’s voice exactly as if he was in the same room talking to them. It spoke,

“Y’know, with how more understanding and intelligent Janus is compared to Logan, he might be an even better logic than Logan himself.”

And with that thought alone, the whole room, including Logan, began to break and dematerialize. The glitches returned violently, not only warping every single item and furniture in the room but also transforming the ceiling and the carpet as if the room was going to destroy itself. No object in the room was safe from the glitch’s grasp as colors flash rapidly while everything practically warped and tremble viciously. The voices all mutated into a staticky mess as the pitch and tempo of each voice were altered to make them sound like something you’d find in a horror movie. The televisions were altered as it pixelated every memory and horribly modified each person’s face to look like it was something a demon would spawn.

And Logan. Logan. He was on his knees with his hands on his ears, trying to block out any distorted sound that tried to mock him. He himself wasn’t even free from the glitching as he was subjected to the same kind of torture every object in his room was experiencing. It was as if this glitch monster thingy, whatever it was, viewed Logan as just as worthless as the things he was surrounded by. He was viewed as something lifeless; he was viewed as an object, as a utility.

Remus didn’t realize he was frozen with panic until he began to hear distorted screams coming from Logan’s lips. He quickly rushed over to Logan’s side anxiously, mumbling incoherent nonsense as he tried to think of any possible solution for this unsettling situation.

“Get me out,” he eventually heard Logan say. Without any hesitation, Remus placed both his hands on Logan’s shoulders, ignoring the massive amounts of shock and pain he felt as he touched the spiky glitches, and he used every bit of his power to force him and Logan to be teleported elsewhere.

//

The moments in between sinking out and materializing again were always a blur. While it tended to calm down any rampant emotions that overwhelmed a side before they dematerialize, it was also a moment used by the sides to process everything that’s happened.

It was difficult for Remus to glance at Logan, but the grip he had on his shoulders were good enough to convince him that Logan hadn't dissolved or vanished. While Remus already deduced that Logan was negatively impacted by the immense neglect he received from Thomas and the others, he didn’t realize how horrendous their treatment had gotten. Remus even feared that there was a slim yet probable chance that within the next few months, Logan could be part of the “Dark” Sides.

Ignoring the pessimistic thoughts that emerged, Remus tried to focus on bringing he and Logan into his side of the Imagination. At first, he thought that their lounge would have been sufficient enough, but seeing how Logan would visibly flinch at the mention of Orange, Remus thought his room would be a better option. He was also able to accomodate Logan better if he chose the Imagination; nothing about their lounge was comforting besides their soft couch.

Before he entered the Imagination, he tried to manipulate its interior to turn it into something more reassuring for Logan. If Remus remembered correctly, Logan was quite passionate about astronomy, and he thought it’d be appropriate to bring Logan to a place he would find comforting: outer space.

Eventually, they materialized into the room. While Remus’s knowledge on stars and planets were limited, he was hoping that his assumptions on what outer space would be like were enough to appease Logan. Inside, the Imagination stretched infinitely and no place was left unadorned. Although he did not recall the names of every planet nor what they looked like, Remus challenged his creativity to produce his own kind of system of planets and stars. Additionally, he lowered the gravity levels of the room just to add to its realism, and now, he and Logan were floating amidst all of his beautiful creations.

When Remus was sure that everything in the room was executed perfectly, he finally risked glancing at Logan. Logan’s eyes were shut tightly but that didn’t prevent any teardrops from leaking out of his eyelids. As his eyeglasses were left behind, water droplets began to slip out of his eyes freely as it floated around the two of them. Logan even let out a painful whimper as he cried woefully to himself.

“I…” Remus spoke as his heart wrenched at the sight of the crestfallen side. Remus was fearful that he might say something inappropriate so he allowed himself to stay silent for a few moments for him to think. Eventually, he spoke in a reassuring tone, “Can I-- Is it okay if I touch you?”

Logan sniffled before he nodded, prompting Remus to raise his hands and place them delicately on Logan’s cheeks. He thumbed Logan’s tears away as it gradually floated away from his face. Eventually, Logan slowly opened his eyes, blinking away some tears that still remained. 

As there was barely any distance between Logan and Remus, this was the only time Remus could properly study Logan’s face. The bags underneath his eyes were excessively darkened as his eyes sagged wearily, and the fact that he was crying didn’t help ease his exhaustion. His hair was incredibly greasy; it was as if he hadn't given himself time to prioritize his wellbeing over the tiresome work he aimed to accomplish. Moreover, the livid bruises that coated his neck were still swelling as the ice pack Remus gave barely did anything to soothe it. 

Overall, Logan looked exhausted. 

“Remus,” Logan said, his throat slightly parched. 

“Yeah?” Replied Remus as he felt Logan’s hands make their way to meet his.

“I’m sorry.” Logan said, averting his gaze away from Remus. “You shouldn’t have witnessed that. I dragged you into my personal issues and it is entirely--” Logan choked as he tried to withhold a sob unsuccessfully. “It-- it is entirely--”

“Logan, you’re allowed to be sad-- you know that, right?” Remus told him, and immediately, Logan’s face crumbled. The tears returned in full force as he placed his forehead against Remus’s chest and began to sob once more. Remus gently wrapped his arms around Logan, pulling him closer as he felt Logan’s hands grip his arms firmly.

“I-- I just-- I’m just not used to this.” Logan uttered.

“No one is, to be honest. Emotions can be a bitch sometimes.” Remus replied.

Logan huffed out a wet chuckle, “Don’t I know it.”

The two of them huddled close for a few minutes, Remus allowing the repressed sadness Logan had within to burst out. As Logan let the long overdue tears shed, Remus rubbed soothing circles on Logan’s back, hoping it would provide Logan with ease and comfort. 

Part of Remus was exceptionally disgusted by how much the others’ treatment of Logan has completely ruined him, and the fact that they weren’t aware of their own cynicism only aggravated Remus further. There was an urge in the back of Remus’s mind to pardon himself, grab his mace, and utterly bash the other sides’ head in, and if it weren’t for Logan’s mental breakdown, he would’ve fulfilled that temptation by now.

Instead, he pulls Logan closer to him.

Eventually, after Logan’s sobs subsided. There were a couple sniffs here and there, but it seemed like Logan had slightly calmed down. 

Logan was also first to break the silence between them, “I wasn’t aware of how crying like a newborn baby kinda feels relieving.”

Remus chuckled at him, “So you wouldn’t mind telling me about what other thoughts you’ve been repressing in there?” he paused, “Of course, if you feel uncomfortable then I won’t push you--,”

“No, no… I--,” Logan let Remus loosen his grip on him slightly for them to see each other eye to eye. “I don’t think there’s any point to withholding information from you anymore. You are already aware of how… incompetent I am.”

“I don’t think you’re incompetent for having emotions, Logan.”

“But then why do the others make it feel like I am incompetent?” Logan blurted out, “No matter how many times I assume I performed something correctly or suggested an idea that I thought was valuable, the others still convince me that I’m wrong or-- or I’m just grabbing attention. Initially, I thought that they were wrong, but then Thomas started to agree with the others every time we had an argument and it really didn’t take many instances for me to begin questioning my worth.”

Remus’s eyebrows knit together in concern, “Other people’s opinions on you don’t dictate your worth, Logan.”

“Then why are they so insistent to prove how-- how-- how fucked up I am?” Logan asked, tone distressed. Consequently, Logan took a deep breath to compose himself. “I’m sorry, I can’t-- I’m just at a loss of what to do. Growing up, I thought I was somewhat like… Thomas’s savior, his key to success, but then it turns out that all my efforts were just a waste.”

“That career change did a number on you, didn’t it?”

Logan’s lips thinned nervously before he replied, “I hate to admit it but I don’t think any moment in my life could amount to how pained I felt when I realized that Thomas didn’t want to pursue a career in engineering or astronomy. I began to question things that I thought were true. Did Thomas even genuinely listen to any plan I told him about? Did he think I was wrong? There were just so many questions, so many hypotheses to prove, and it bothered me so much because you know how I strive to be the most perfect I can be for Thomas. But how can I be perfect if everything I do is brushed aside or ignored?

“But I didn’t think they were wrong for— for neglecting me. They’ve already proven to me how beneficial they are to Thomas and how-- and how righteous and just and correct they are compared to me. It just felt wrong to think of them as wrong when I’ve already accepted the fact that it was me who was being a burden to them all this time. I just… I’m not used to it. I aim to be as perfect as I can be, I want to improve myself, but why does it feel like nothing I do is good enough? 

“And sometimes, I don’t know who is to blame. Is it them? Is it me? Is it both of our faults? If they say I’m wrong, and I feel like I’m wrong, am I really wrong? Are they capable of being wrong even if their insults and jabs resonate with me as if they were right? And if they were wrong, then how come I still feel like I’m a terrible side? Why do I want to believe they’re correct so badly?” 

Logan sucked in an enormous breath once he finished his spiel. While Remus was unquestionably proud and honored that Logan was able to finally open up to him, comprehending what Logan rambled to him was a whole other story. The sullen expression on his face wasn’t helping either.

“Logan, I…” Remus spoke, “I know nothing I say right now can magically fix this problem as if it never existed in the first place, but you, Logan Sanders, aren’t worthless, and anything the others say about you does not define your worth.”

“But why--”

“Why are they persistent? Well, I don’t know if you know, but the other sides aren’t exactly always so righteous and god-like?” Remus said and proceeded to sigh, “What I mean is, you need to value yourself a little more, Logan. You’ve trained yourself to listen to whatever the others are bitching about and  immediately think that they are righteous even if they’re probably just being assholes to you. 

“You’ve been so selfless and forgiving towards the other sides that you’ve ignored that you’re destroying yourself, Logan. You have listened to the others and prioritized them so much even if sometimes, the person who really needs to be listened to more than anything else is yourself. You’re worthy, Lo. You’re incredibly intelligent yet you’re so fun to hang around with. You’re so selfless and sweet and so lovable-- there are so many things I can say to convince you that you are worthy, but you also need to do your part in remembering that. Take care of yourself, give yourself some time to rest. You’ve punished yourself too much that it has made you exhausted. You have to value yourself more, Lo.”

And with that line alone, Logan began to shed tears once more, “I know I am exhausted, I just--” he cried, placing his forehead against Remus’s chest once more, “I just don’t know how to stop thinking about my flaws and my mistakes and everything that is wrong about me.”

“Honestly? Same.” Remus said, “It’s never an easy process, Lo.”

“How-- How did you get over it?”

“Well, I had Janus ‘self-care is my number one priority’ Sanders, so that’s one thing.” Remus was glad to hear that that made Logan snort, “Another is… time. And distancing yourself from the people who hurt you.”

“The others haven’t hurt me.”

“They have. It’s okay to admit that the people who you love are capable of hurting you and are capable of being wrong. It’s perfectly normal.” Remus said. 

The arms that wrapped Remus tightened, “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that.” Logan admitted, “I… Remus I just-- Thank you. Thank you so, so much.”

“You’re welcome, dork.” Remus replied, smiling softly as he looked at Logan, “Well, actually, you’re only welcome if you do take a break, okay? If my efforts in comforting you have all been useless and I see you working your ass off the next day, then fuck you, I guess.” Remus joked, and Logan snorted again. 

“I’ll try my best.” Logan replied. They floated in a comfortable silence again as they had their arms wrapped around each other. Logan allowed himself to cry, allowed himself to feel, and Remus couldn’t help but feel immensely proud of Logan. 

Like earlier, Logan was first to break the silence once more, “If I… If I were to take a break, would it be alright if I spend it with-- with you?” Logan said, looking up at Remus again, “I’m just scared for the glitch thing to happen again and I think I’d feel much— much safer if I were with you.”

Remus blinked at him once, then twice. Then, the biggest, toothiest grin appeared on Remus’s face. “Of course, Jimmy Nude-tron, you don’t have to be all shy about it! We’ll have the best sleepovers and dissect bodies together and-- and--,”

“Stargaze?” Logan suggested.

“Yeah, hell yeah! We’ll stargaze so fucking hard that Janus is going to be jealous.” Remus exclaimed, making Logan chuckle, “Plus, I can even allow you to make your own planets and stars, if you want! I have no fucking clue what astronomy is really about so maybe you can give me a few lessons here and there.”

Logan eyebrows raised, “Even if you lack knowledge on astronomy, you made such a magnificent replica of outer space, Remus.”

Remus couldn’t help but flush at the compliment, “Oh, uh, thank you, Swell-phaba Thropp.”

Silence.

“That was a horrible nickname.”

“Agreed, pretend I didn’t say anything.” Remus said. While he thought that they'd calmed down enough and were ready to exit the Imagination, there was one more thought that he had in the back of his head that he felt needed to be addressed.

“I don’t mean to bring the mood down but… are you going to tell Thomas about the glitching?” Remus asked, and he physically felt Logan stiffen anxiously. 

Remus was about to apologize before Logan interrupted and spoke before he could, “Maybe. But not now. I don’t think I have the energy or the motivation to see him at the moment.”

Remus nodded in understanding, “While I would advise you to do everything at your own pace, I do want to remind you that you shouldn’t stall it too much either because we don’t know what those glitches can do, Lo.”

“I know, Remus. I promise I’ll tell him when I’m ready.”

“Good.” Remus said, “Do you want to get out of the Imagination now?”

“If… If it’s okay with you, I’d like to stay here for a few more minutes.”

“That’s perfectly gucci, dork, take all the time you need here.”

And the two continued to float, arms still remained wrapped around each other as it seemed like they didn’t want to let go. While they were too preoccupied with one another to observe the changes in their surroundings, in this very precious moment, the stars that encircled them seemed to be shining brighter than ever before.