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littlesniggy · 3 years

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Princess Part One

@pure-kirarin: Hii! I loved your works, especially the smoker & Akainu ones. I was wondering if I could get smth for my Eustass boy where reader is a princess that is a fan of pirates since she was a child. She loves reading about Kid pirates in the newspapers and somehow is very intrigued. One day she hears that Kid pirates came to her island so she escapes undercover to meet Kid but she is shocked by how different he is from what she thought however, despite how "brute" that world seems she can't help but feel thrilled and excited to know more about him and she is even willing to give him her first time (P2) c: thanks a lot if you decide to write this ! <3 If you don't feel comfortable with it it's totally fine, kissies <3

Thank you so much! Well, I think I had too many ideas so I split it in two parts if that’s okay. This one is more like an introduction (?) and the dirty stuff will come in part two. It’s kinda long and I don't know if it got boring but anyways, have fun with Part one :)

Warning: verbal abuse

Word count: 3.5k

Part two is here

Her eyes skimmed through the newspaper articles looking for a specific one involving a certain pirate; Eustass Kid, the notorious pirate captain and part of the Worst Generation had been seen on an island not too far away from hers. Her heart started beating excitedly when she finally found the desired article.

Kid Pirates cause chaos – when will the bloodshed finally stop?

Eagerly, she started reading the article, absorbing every word like a hungry man almost starved to death. To her dismay, the article was shorter than she would’ve liked but nevertheless did she take out a pair of scissors from her desk, cutting the article out. On the next page was a wanted poster of Kid but sadly it was the same one she already had. She looked at his picture for a moment, tracing his face with his thumb before folding the newspaper and throwing it away. The article was stored safely in one of her desk drawers, away from any curious eyes.

“Y/n-sama…..Y/n-sama!” she heard one of the maids call her, waking her from her sleep. Tired, she sat up, rubbing her eyes before answering. “Come in.” her voice was still horse from her sleep and she had to clear her throat. The door opened and one of the maids entered, bowed down a little and went straight to the thick curtains, opening them in one swift motion. Dark clouds covered the sky and it looked like it was about to rain any moment; thunder could be heard from afar.

“Why are you still in bed? Today is a great day for you, Y/n-sama. If I were you I wouldn’t be able to sleep at all.” She giggled. The princess followed the maid with tired eyes as she made her way over to the dressing room. “Your father has told me to take out the navy-blue dress he got you the other week. Remember? The one that looks like stars have been woven into it?” The maid came back with said dress, holding it up and looking at it in awe. “It’s truly beautiful.” She said reverently.

The princess looked from the maid to the dress, then back to the maid and back to the dress once more. “Don’t you think it’s a little bit too….much?” she asked concerned. It was pretty, no questions asked but it looked like she was going to a ball to impress someone and not to meet her future husband. “Nonsense, Y/n-sama! It’s perfect! The prince will be just as impressed as the rest. You will look stunning. Plus, if I dare to say, he will fall head over heels for your Majesty.” The maid’s big eyes shined at the princess. The maid seemed happier about this day than the princess herself.

“If you say so. I just don’t want to look overdressed.” She stated concerned. She slid to the side of the bed, put her feet on the floor and stood up, her long nightgown following her body. The soft silk felt nice against her body even though she had to get used to it in the beginning; it was just so slippery.

The princess made her way over to the big bathroom to follow her daily routine while listening to the maid telling her about the daily schedule. After a while she tuned out and simply looked out of the window while brushing her teeth. The vast ocean could be seen from her room and the bathroom; sometimes she caught herself imagining what life would be if she had been born in a different country, to a different family and live a different life. Her life was great, she wouldn’t complain but something was missing but she didn’t know what.

Her father, the king, was standing by a huge window, a frown on his face when Y/n entered the big hall. When he heard her come closer, he hid a document behind his back, turned around and smiled at his daughter with a big smile. “You look beautiful, Y/n.” he praised and looked her up and down in appreciation. “Thank you, father.” She replied and spun around, the dress complementing her like it was made just for her. “The prince will be very pleased.” He said. Servants were rushing through the huge hall, carrying trays, food, and other things to give the festive hall the last touch.

“They will arrive shortly so let us walk over to the schedule once more.” He said while holding his arm out for her to take and guiding her over to the thrones standing at the end of the hall. She walked next to her father, reciting what the maid had told her and what she could remember.

“No, first comes the dance, then the dinner. We don’t want your dress to look unflattering during this important moment by showing a food belly.” He jokingly said and she looked at him sourly but didn’t say anything to it; instead, she kept going through the schedule.

Her eyes caught the paper he had put in the back of his dress pants. “What’s this?” she wondered but he brushed her off. “Oh, it’s nothing. It doesn’t concern you. You should simply focus on the event ahead and forget about anything else.” This was odd. Why was he hiding something from her? But she knew he wouldn’t tell her, especially if she pressed him.

The day went as planned, the king and the prince arrived, together with a huge entourage following them. She made huge eyes when the prince gave her this incredibly beautiful necklace with a dark-blue sapphire. The prince himself was….okay-ish. He wasn’t the most handsome nor the most ugly but he was definitely not her type. Credit to him, he was a gentleman and tried to make her feel comfortable. He was attentive, charming, and a polite. But she couldn’t see herself marrying him. Yet. She knew she had to so she tried to be as interested in him as possible. But it was difficult.

During a moment he was talking to his father and her father she could finally breathe and be to herself. This whole event was exhausting and she was looking forward for it to end. She saw a servant scurry away, a familiar paper in his hand. She followed him to the kitchen, a few servants bowed down when they saw her approaching. “Princess-sama, please, you know you’re not supposed to be here.” A maid said and tried to get her to go back to her guests.

“I’ll leave in just a moment but I need to know what this piece of paper says.” She pointed at the piece the servant was holding and he hid it behind her back. “Miss, the King ordered me to throw it away and to not show it to anyone. I must obey him.”

“And I order you to show it to me.” She countered, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Please, Princess-sama. It’s an order from your father.” He pleaded, conflicted on what to do. “He will never know. Show it to me and then you can burn it.” She said firmly and the servant sighed, handing the paper over to her. The maid tried to sneak a look at it and made big eyes.

“Oh no…” she whispered, backing away a few steps. “This is bad news. Why are they here?” fear was plastered all over her face, her hands clutched her arms like she was a small child.

“Please…give it back to me. I really need to get rid of it, Princess-sama.” The servant asked nervously, his eyes roaming the surroundings for any sight of the king. She gave it back to him, her face expressionless. “Thank you.” She simply said before turning around.

When she was out of sight, she couldn’t hold back a small squeak of excitement; the paper was a notice from one of the guards. He was patrolling the southern side of the island where there used to be a small town which had burned down a couple of years ago. Now, it was frequently used by bandits, pirates, and other criminals.

Her heart was racing, her face was burning, and she felt like she could burst out of sheer happiness. Pirates were anchoring near the burned down town. She needed to get there. She needed to meet them. She needed to see them. She needed to see him. She needed to see Eustass Kid.

It felt like an eternity when she was finally back at her chamber. It was already dark outside and she could hear the servants cleaning the garden in front of the castle downstairs. She was high up above the ground, her eyes trying to see the ship even though she knew it was useless; the window was on the north side, the Kid pirates on the south side so it was simply impossible. During the gathering she had to focus hard to not indulge too much in her thoughts about a certain captain. But the more she tried to suppress the excitement the more nervous she got.

And now, when it was finally over, she was hesitant. The desire to leave was strong but the guilt for sneaking out at night and maybe disappointing her father was not any weaker. But she knew that they would leave soon, probably sooner if her father sent his guards to the south side. Right now, he wouldn’t do anything since he didn’t want to cause any harm to his subjects. But as soon as they started to cause trouble, he would fight them. The princess was conflicted. What, if she got caught? She would get in huge trouble and if word got out the marriage between her and the prince would be called off. Nobody wants to associate themselves with a princess who sympathizes with pirates.

Time passed and she was still standing in front of the huge window, but by now she was looking at the wanted poster she was keeping in her drawer. With every passing minute her internal desire grew. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and came to a conclusion; she put the wanted poster back to its original spot, grabbed a coat, pulled it over, and opened the door to her chamber. The hallway was empty and she sneaked out. The servants and maids were still cleaning up and no one was paying attention to her.

It was easier than expected to exit the castle and its perimeter. How she was supposed to get back in was a problem of future princess. Right now, she was making her way over to the south side of the island. The ground was wet and muddy and cold from the rain but she was glad it had stopped an hour or so ago. In her hurried departure did she forget to put on shoes. How stupid can you be?, she thought to herself but tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling. Hopefully, she wouldn’t catch a cold.

She saw a dim light in the distance and she slowed down a little. Doubt starting washing over her the closer she got. Did she make a mistake? How could she be so gullible and come here? Alone. At night. With nothing to protect herself. If she had only taken her horse she would be able to escape if things went wrong.

The wind carried voices over to where she stood; laughter and singing. She could hear the sound of glass on glass, probably bottles of sake. She sneaked closer to the small town, one building which was not as burnt down as the other buildings was being occupied by a group of men. She hid behind a wall next to a broken window. She didn’t dare look through it, too scared of being caught.

She heard heavy footsteps coming closer from around the corner and she barely managed to round the other corner to hide herself. The princess took a quick lock to see who it was; a tall man with a blue and white mask and maybe blonde hair if she could see it correctly. This must be Killer! The excited feeling inside her stomach came back; seeing him meant that Kid wasn’t too far away, maybe even waiting around the corner Killer just came from.

The tall man took a piss against the wall and she turned her face away, blushing deeply for taking a peek at his dick. She was glad he hadn’t noticed her. When he was done he walked back to his crew, leaving her alone again. The voices inside the building welcomed the man back with loud roaring before continuing their conversations.

The princess waited like this for a long time, unsure of what to do. Should she just get up and walk in? No, this would be stupid. Should she try and make them aware of her presence by making some small noise? Probably a bad idea as well. So, how should she meet Kid? She knew it was a bad idea but she’s already come this far so she just needed to! She was so deep in thought that she didn’t hear footsteps coming closer and rounding the corner to the wall she was sitting against.

“What do we have here?” a voice snapped her back to reality and like a deer in headlight she looked up at the two tall men standing next to her. “You were right, there really was someone here.” The read head stated amused at her small form sitting on the ground, clothes dirty and feet barefoot. Killer stood slightly behind his captain; arms crossed.

“And who might you be?” Kid crouched down next to her, a curious look on his face. She was frozen in place, unable to more or to talk. Kid’s aura was intimidating and she could almost feel his bloodlust. Would he kill her, too?

“What’s wrong? Too scared?” he chuckled before rising again. “I think I’ve seen her face before…” Killer’s words made her stomach drop. If he knew she was screwed! They would take her as leverage to get her father to pay them! They would torture her to get information about the kingdom’s treasure! “You have? Where?” Kid asked, nonchalantly as if he was talking about the weather. “I think in the newspaper. If I’m not mistaken then she is this kingdom’s princess.” Oh God, they knew! Kid tilted his head to the side, a pensive look on his face. “Now, that you mention it…” he said. A huge grin appeared on his face before he crouched down again. “Say, are you a princess?” he asked her, his eyes piercing through hers right into her head as if he didn’t want to wait for her answer and look for it himself inside her head.

“What would daddy pay for your save return?” he mused. She finally snapped out of this helpless state and slapped him across his face. The shock of her action hit her almost right after and she clutched her hand with her other, looking at him in fear. His grin had disappeared and was replaced by a frown. It didn’t hurt but how dare she slap him just like that? Kid reached for her arm and pulled her up with him; the grip was hard and unforgiving. It hurt and she whimpered, trying to pray his hand away which was useless.

Kid dragged her with him to where the rest of his crew was still drinking. All conversation stopped when they saw their captain dragging someone with him, followed by Killer. Kid pushed her to the ground in front of him, right in the middle of everyone. She looked around, sceptic pairs of eyes looking at her.

“Now, little princess, tell us. Why are you here?” he asked again. She looked at him with wide eyes before swallowing hard. “I….” but she stopped. What should she tell them? That she wanted to meet them? That she wanted to get to know them? That she was keeping every article of them, Kid especially, in her drawer? They would laugh at her!

“You?” Kid pressed, obviously enjoying he was making her uncomfortable, even scared. “I…” she started again. “I heard that…pirates had landed on this island and I….” she didn’t finish but somehow Kid got the gist. “And little princess thought it’d be a good idea to sneak out of her safe castle to meet the pirates.” His crew started laughing and her cheeks became red from embarrassment.

Kid got down to her level once more, grabbing her chin with his rough fingers, making her look at him. She looked straight into his red eyes, a warm and fuzzy feeling spreading inside her stomach. “Listen, princess.” His voice was so close to her, she could feel his breath against her skin; his rough but warm hand felt good on her skin and in left a slight tingling where he touched her. The grin on his face, exposing white teeth, was sadistic and dangerous; she knew he had the means to kill her but would he actually do it?

“I don’t know if you’re aware of who we are but it wasn’t your best idea to come and look for us. ‘Cause now you can get us in deep trouble, y’know?” His thumb stroked her bottom lip for a moment. Unconsciously, she opened her mouth slightly, wishing for him to continue. Instead, he started laughing and pushed his thumb past her lips inside her mouth. Shocked, she tried to move away but he wouldn’t let her. His thumb pressed down her tongue, the taste slightly salty.

“You like that?” she shook her head but he didn’t believe her. “Should’ve said you came looking for a good time, princess.” “Het ho…!” she tried saying but it was difficult with his thumb still on her tongue. Still, he obliged and removed it from her mouth. “I…I came here to see you!” she admitted, looking at him. “Huh?” Kid sounded intrigued. “Is that so? To do what? Get your little royal pussy fucked by me?” His crew chuckled, some whistled.

“What? N-no!” she said shocked but couldn’t deny the feeling his suggestion left inside of her. Kid hummed as he let his hand move from her chin, down her throat and to her breasts where he shamelessly touched her. Flabbergasted, she jerked away from his touch, her face now beet red. “Who….who do you think you are, pirate?” she asked.

Kid’s grin dropped at her remark. His hand grabbed her throat and pulled her closer to his face; too close right now. Fear struck her and she looked at him wide eyed.

“Do you think you’re better than us?” his low voice rumbled through the air, a shudder ran down her spine. “I don’t care who you are, princess, but don’t think you are above any of us. When I become the pirate king you will bow down to me.” A sinister glint flickered in his eyes which were looking right at her. He didn’t press down on her throat but it still felt like he was choking her.

“Let me join you!” she pressed out. A confused look came on his face and he let go of her. She moved away, holding her throat and looking at him scared. “Let you join us?” he repeated. The princess nodded, not sure what made her say that. The thing she knew for sure was that she wanted to know more about the pirate in front of her; the one who almost choked her, the one who made her feel excited, the one whose picture was hidden inside her drawer.

Kid shook his head in disbelief before getting up again, turning around to return to his original place among his crew.

“I…I want to know more about you.” She admitted. Kid looked at her with a disinterested face, chugging his bottle of sake.

“Go home, princess. You have nothing to offer. You wouldn’t even be beneficial to us if we took you hostage. We can just get the treasure from this island if we want.” It felt like a punch to her guts but she kept her tears at bay.

“Go back to your father and marry this prince. Today was the big day you met him, right?” he chuckled. “I remember reading it in the newspaper. Pretty big event. So, don’t go around chasing pirates like in one of those stupid love stories you chicks keep reading about. Life is nothing like that. Pirates ain’t nothing like the men in those booky. Sorry to burst your bubble, princess.” Everyone was laughing at her; her ignorance regarding pirates, her ignorance regarding life – she was a laughing joke to them.

She couldn’t hold back her tears any longer and they quietly rolled down her cheeks and dropped from her chin to the floor.

“Leave.” She heard him say before she got up, tuned around and ran away, tears blurring her vision. Had she been so wrong about them? About him? But then again, what did she expect? It still felt like a dream had been shattered and it hurt.

#one piece #op #eustass kid #eustasscaptainkid #op kid #kid pirates #captain kid #op killer #killer #requests #part one #maybe a little boring?#idk

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blueunoia · 4 years

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❤ ──── ·․ under watchful eyes (pt. 3)

━━━ SYNOPSIS: the reader and arvin are forced to go to a pre-marriage counselling session with reverend teagardin.

━━━ WARNINGS: teenage marriage, allusion to sexual harassments.

━━━ NOTES: This one was little short, sorry! I’m gonna try and make part four longer. I don’t condone any of Arvin's action he clearly has severe anger issues at least and mentally ill as a result of his traumatic childhood at worst. Hope you enjoy!

━━━ WORD COUNT: 1,253

━━━ PART(S): part four

✦·․ ──── ❤ ──── ·․·✦·․·✦·․ ──── ❤ ──── ·․·✦·․·✦·․ ❤ ․·✦·․·✦·․· ──── ❤ ──── ·․·✦·․·✦·․ ──── ❤ ──── ․·✦

The room was filled with tension. You sat in your nicest clothes, shifting around in your seat. Arvin places his hand on your knee, and you can feel it's warmth through your tights; you stop turning and look over at him. Arvin had his shoulders pulled back and back straight. He looks uptight and uncomfortable. He never sat like that. His jaw was clenched, too, as his gaze went back to the man you were both waiting to speak.

Reverend Teagardin. He grabbed his cup of coffee and brought it to his lips before clearing his throat. "So," he began, "You two would like to get married? That would help things, I'm sure."

Arvin scoffs but bites his tongue. He doesn't want to be here, but your parents required it until they'd let him marry you. Arvin nods. "Yes, sir."

Reverend Teagardin looks over to you. "I suppose that would be nice. Of course, your families asked me to talk to you two before. Marriage is a big deal, you know, that's a lot of commitment for people so young."

"People are age get married all the time," you say, "and Arvin and I have been together for a while. We love each other too."

Teagardin nods. "Well, that is important. It's just sometimes you'll want to explore other people," his gaze was on you as he said it. You look away from him, and Arvin gives a glance to you. He didn't like how he said that.

"I don't want anyone else," Arvin says quickly. "Never will."

A small smile finds itself on your face but quickly fades away as the Reverend stares you both down. "Well, are there any concerns you two have about marriage?"

You and Arvin look at each other for a moment before he speaks up. "I mean, there's obviously money, but my Grandma is gonna let us live with 'er. We have a little hutch on our property, and I'm gonna fix it up to have our own space. And I have a job lined up in the summer, so we'll have our own money."

Reverend Teagardin nods, "That sounds like a good plan, Mr. Russell," the compliment sounds forced. "Y/N, do you have any plans after marriage? Do you two want children? I know many young couples like you often get married under specific circumstances, so maybe we'll see one soo-"

"Shut your mouth, you bastard!" Arvin lurched up at Reverend Teagardin. "Y/N ain't knocked up! We just love each other, that's all."

Reverend Teagardin stood up, "I'd watch yourself. If you hadn't pulled this little stunt, the two of you wouldn't even be seeing each other."

Arvin shook his head and went to round the table, but you grabbed his arm. "Both of you stop it!" you stand up and look at Reverend Teagardin. "Now, all three of us know we don't actually need your permission to get married. If we wanted to, we could go up to the courthouse and have it over within five minutes, so what's gonna happen is we're going to walk out, and you'll tell our parents you think this is a great idea. If you don't, I'll tell 'em about you watching Arvin and me that night. Understood?"

Reverend Teagardin gave you a stern look before shifting his gaze to Arvin. With a huff, he nods. You and Arvin leave, not stopping to talk to your parents. While you wait outside, Arvin grabs you and brings his lips to yours. "I don't think I've ever seen that side of you, sweetheart," he kisses you again. "I gotta say I like it."

You giggle. "Well, you better stay in line, mister, or you'll see her again!"

Arvin laughs with you and brings you back close to him. Holding you gently, he wasn't usually this affectionate. After he proposed, though, you could see a change. He seemed happier.

"Y/n! Come on, we have to get home!" you heard your mother yell from the other side of the parking lot.

You pull away from Arvin. "I love you," you tell him. "I'll see you at dinner." Arvin nods at you and quickly kisses your hand before letting you leave. His grandmother and Lenora came up to him, and they all went to the car. Arvin couldn't help but notice how Lenora kept looking at herself in the mirror. She had been acting different lately. Arvin saw her dressing nicer, putting more time into her hair, and she even borrowed a light lipstick from you.

It wasn't like Lenora to act like that. She didn't like makeup beforehand, and she had been spending less time at home with Arvin and Grandma. Maybe she had gotten a boyfriend, but Arvin swore she would've mentioned it to him.

As they rounded the corner, Arvin couldn't help but smile as he went inside. The two of you were getting married, and soon enough, you'd be living together. It was everything he wanted. In all honesty, it was the only thing he actually knew he wanted. You were the one thing he's so sure about. It was Saturday, so he didn't have to worry about school or anything like that, just get his chores down and head to work around twelve. His Grandma made him clean up a little, she wasn't the type to just make Lenora do it, but as he swept the floor, he heard something wrong.

Vomiting. Arvin pushed open the bathroom door to see Lenora on her knees in front of the toilet, her head laying on it as she moaned in pain. "Arvin," she said softly, her throat hurt too much to speak loudly, "Go get Grandma."

Arvin quickly found his grandmother bringing her back. Lenora assured her she just had an upset stomach, maybe even a stomach bug, and so she went off to bed. His grandmother made Lenora tea, and by the time he left and came home from work, Lenora was back in her room working at her homework.

"You feeling better?" Arvin asks.

"A little," she said. Lenora looks over at Arvin and gives him a small smile. "So, you happy to be engaged?"

Arvin smiled like an idiot and shuffled on his feet, embarrassed. "You know I am," he mumbled.

Lenora laughs. "Isn't it excited? I bet Y/N is excited to pick out her wedding dress. I can't wait to see it."

"Don't have to wait long. She's gonna take you when she tries them on, you know?"

Arvin hadn't seen Lenora smile so bright. "Really?" she asks excitedly.

"'Course! She'll probably make you 'er maid of honor too."

Lenora was ecstatic.

Though it didn't last too long because by the time you came by, she was throwing up her stomach again, but Arvin felt at peace for the moment. His sister seemed happier than ever, Grandmother was excited about the wedding too, and he was gonna spend the rest of his life with the woman of his dreams. Nothing could bring him down.

Then two months later came. Arvin held his wife's hand, both dressed in black as rain poured just as fast as his grandmother's tears. It wet the ground that his sister lay underneath. Unspoken and nonmoving. With one thing on his mind. It wasn't the same thing that plagued his mind two months ago. It wasn't a wedding, you, his sister, or his future. It was a prayer. A simple one at that. One that you shared.

A prayer for the right time.

I hope you enjoyed part three! It was a little short. I haven’t been feeling very motivated lately, just kind of in a funk. But it’s a new week and I’m gonna try and do more! Starting with writing part four and hopefully getting it out by the end of the week. I have a plan for when this series will end and I think it will be around five to six parts.

Don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment!

━━━ MASTERLIST

#arvin russel #arvin russell #arvin russell imagine #arvin russel imagine #arvin russell x reader #1960s #the devil all the time #tdatt

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angryinternetduck · 4 years

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noodle <3

2.2k on harry’s new puppy. the before and after of a clean break . goes from kinda angsty to fluffy (literally) to more angst, and then wraps up with fluffy fluff fluff.

Harry’s house felt empty.

It was empty, really, but it felt about a million more times empty than it ever had.

He couldn’t bear it.

He woke up in the morning and turned over to kiss you awake. He brushed his teeth and stared at the spot where your toothbrush went. He got changed and remembered where he’d gone with you while wearing that shirt; how you’d complimented those pants and teasingly mocked those socks. He made coffee and ignored the gaping hole where your mug used to go.

He was driving to the studio one morning, thinking about all of this - what song you’d have put on if you were in the car with him, how your hand would feel in his, what joke he’d say to hear your laugh - when he saw a pet adoption center.

All at once, the solution became clear.

A dog, he thought. I need a dog.

So he turned off the road, kind of in a daze, and walked inside. Barking, chirping, and soft music greeted him. He flipped his sunglasses up. The lady at the counter’s eyes widened, and then she smiled. “Hi!” she said brightly. “Can I help you?”

“Er… yes,” Harry said. He rocked back on his heels. “I’d like a dog, please.”

She smiled more. Harry saw her nametag. It said Holly. “Okay!” she said, coming around from behind the counter. “Follow me.” Harry put his hands in his pockets and followed her a few steps back into the shop, and then around a corner.

Dogs of every size, shape, and color lined the wall, separated by short, colorful barriers. The barking increased as the dogs noticed Harry and Holly. Harry felt a smile on his face as he looked around at all of them, up on hind legs, tongues lolling out of mouths.

“Here we are,” Holly said over the noise. She crouched down next to one, rubbing the dog’s ear. With her other hand, she pointed to a card attached to the barrier. “These have all their information,” she said.

Harry nodded, and started walking around. He kept his hands in his pockets and walked around the room. He scanned the cards, only stopping when he saw an anomaly. One dog, a puppy, by the look of it, was quiet. It wasn’t barking, wasn’t on its hind legs excitedly jumping up to greet Harry.

There wasn’t a card attached, either, so Harry turned around to look at Holly. She was preoccupied with another dog, petting him and laughing as he flopped over onto his back. “Hey, erm - this one have a card,” Harry said.

She looked up and then stepped over the barrier to walk over to him. “Oh, yeah, this little guy,” she said. “We just found him a few days ago. No collar, no chip or anything. We waited a little while for somebody to come and - you know, claim him, but it never happened.” She knelt down and scratched him behind the ear. “We don’t even know his name.”

“He’s quiet,” Harry said.

He was cute, too; golden and fluffy, and Harry thought he looked like a goldendoodle.

Holly looked up and smiled at him. “Yeah.”

“Can I - er, can I get him? Have him?”

“Sure!” Holly said. She got a collar and a leash from the wall behind Harry and clipped it onto the dog. “Wanna walk him up?” she asked, holding the leash out to Harry. He smiled and took it from her, and she opened the barrier to let him through.

The dog walked next to Harry, sniffing the floor and the walls and occasionally Harry’s pant leg as they headed back to the front desk. He sat down and watched Harry with big brown eyes as Harry filled out paperwork, and then trotted behind them as Holly showed Harry toys and dog food and beds everything Harry needed.

Soon enough, Harry was staring at the dog, sat peacefully on the passenger seat, looking out the window curiously. After a few seconds, the dog looked back at Harry, and Harry smiled because it almost looked like he was smiling, too.

“Right, then,” Harry said, patting the top of his head. “You need a name.” Harry twisted his keys in the ignition and started off towards home. “Marley,” Harry said, glancing over at the puppy.

No reaction.

“Alright,” Harry hummed. “How about… Bob.”

Still nothing.

Harry smiled. “So this’ll be a challenge, hm?” he asked. The dog lay down in the seat and sighed heavily, looking up at him. Harry laughed and rubbed his fluffy head. He suggested names the entire way home, but nothing seemed to stick.

When they got home, the puppy wandered around, sniffing every corner and inspecting each piece of furniture. Harry watched him, partially endeared but also sort of worried about puppy proofing his entire house.

He wasn’t too worried about it, though, because after a while, the puppy came over and sat down next to him, tail thumping on the floor behind him and tongue hanging out of his mouth. Harry grinned and crouched down to pet him, then looked at his phone.

“What do you say to some food, buddy?” Harry asked. “‘s almost noon…”

He just licked Harry’s hand.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Harry said, laughing as he stood up and the puppy followed him into the kitchen, where Harry looked at the refrigerator and pantry. Nothing seemed very interesting, but Harry eventually grabbed a pack of ramen and started boiling some water.

While it heated up, Harry set up the puppy’s bed and toys, then got distracted playing fetch with the puppy, who got adorably excited, and Harry heard him bark for the first time. When the water boiled, Harry put in the noodles and then read the back of the dog food bag while he stirred and added the seasoning.

After it cooked and Harry poured a bowl of soup for himself, he measured out some dog food and put it in the bowl he’d picked out with Holly. The puppy had at it, and Harry smiled, satisfied, and then went and ate himself.

Once the puppy finished, though, he padded over to Harry and laid his head on Harry’s lap. Harry laughed and pet him. Suddenly, he looked up at his bowl of ramen, and then back down at the puppy, whose fur was long and golden brown and a bit curly.

“Hey,” Harry said, a slow grin growing on his lips. ��Hey, how ‘bout Noodle, hm?”

The puppy yipped and thumped his tail.

“Noodle?”

Another bark, and he jumped a little bit, placing his two front paws on the edge of Harry’s chair. Harry laughed and rubbed his ears and said, “Noodle it is, then!” The puppy, Noodle, barked and bounced, and his ears flopped.

Harry looked at his noodles, wondering if dogs could have ramen, but then decided against it and went and grabbed a bag of treats from the things he’d gotten at the pet store. Noodle followed him, trotting along and then happily taking the treat.

“Good boy,” Harry cooed, “good boy, Noodle.”

Noodle barked again and covered Harry’s hands in licks, and Harry grinned.

“I think we’ll get along just fine,” he said.

***

The next time Harry took an unexpected detour, he was a bit less inspired, a lot more desperate, and horribly miserable. This time, he was heading to a double date. Mitch and Sarah, and Harry and somebody else, somebody Sarah thought he’d be good with.

Somebody who was not you.

How, Harry thought dully, could he be good with anyone who was not you?

It was raining. All Harry was thinking about was that time he’d danced with you in the rain, that time you’d gone to the park together and it had rained during your picnic and you’d danced together. In the rain.

Together.

The rain was miserable. Harry was miserable. The date would be miserable.

And it was even worse, because the directions Mitch gave him took him straight past your place. He felt nauseous as he started up the street. He couldn’t go on the date. He couldn’t go and pretend that he was okay, that he was over you.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was parked in front of your place.

He stared at the rain, coming down in sheets over his windshield. He wondered how many times he’d kissed you in that exact spot. How many times he’d walked you back home, how many times he’d stayed over, how many mornings he’d spent avoiding paps as he walked back to his car. How much he’d pay to have one of those nights, one of those mornings, just one more time.

He picked up his phone and dialled Mitch’s number.

“I can’t make it,” Harry said flatly.

“What?”

“I - I’m not coming,” Harry said.

“Are you okay?”

“Tired,” Harry whispered.

“Harry, I don’t -”

“I can’t make it,” Harry said again. “I’ll see you later. Apologize for me.”

“What? Harry, you can’t -”

Harry did. He hung up and stared at the rain again.

It was raining. It was raining so hard, so, so hard, and Harry didn’t have an umbrella. He didn’t have the energy to run, either, so he trudged up to your place in the rain. He was soaked. He was trembling, chattering, soaked to the bone.

You were on the phone when you opened the door.

“Speak of the devil,” you said.

***

Now, Harry’s watching you play with Noodle.

He doesn’t think he’s ever been happier.

“I’m gonna steal him,” you giggle, rubbing his fluffy belly.

Harry says, “You could try,” and kneels down next to you.

It’s been a little more than a week since he appeared on your doorstep. He’d been texting with you the entire time, just trying to find a time when neither of you were busy. That time had been today, and you’d come over as soon as you could.

“Think you like him more than me,” Harry says, and you grin at him, and Harry’s heart flutters, and you say, “You’re right.” Harry groans and buries his face in Noodle’s fur. “I’d be jealous but I’d like him more, too,” he mumbles, and you laugh as you stand up.

Harry looks up to see you looking at Noodle’s box of toys and then smiles when your eyes light up as you see the bag of treats. “Can I?” you ask excitedly, holding it up, and Harry shrugs. “Sure,” he says, and he has to bite his lip to keep himself from smiling more.

You sit down, laughing as Noodle jumps up, tail thumping when he notices the treats in your hands. Harry sits back, watching as you feed him a few. “Have you tried training him at all?” you ask, and Harry says, “Nope.” He pauses, then adds, “I was waiting for you.”

“Oh, sure,” you reply, grinning as you hold a treat with one hand and lift one of Noodle’s paws with the other. “So fluffy!” you exclaim, watching Noodle drop his paw obliviously and then giving up and giving him the treat anyway.

“You’ll make him fat,” Harry scolds playfully, reaching forward to grab the bag out of your hands. You yelp and dart away, holding it out of Harry’s reach. Harry scoffs, lunging after it again, and suddenly he’s falling -

“Jesus,” you gasp through giggles, “don’t want you on top of me like this -”

Harry laughs, propping himself up so he’s hovering over you. “Sure about that?” he says lowly, nipping at your ear, but you just laugh more, slapping lightly at his arm. “You’re ridiculous!”

Harry pulls back, unable to keep the smile off his face as he catches your eyes, gets lost in them for a minute, for two… You bite your lip, sliding your hand to the back of his neck and gently tugging him down so his lips meet yours.

“Missed you,” you whisper.

“Missed you, too.”

It feels like just seconds before Harry hears shuffling and licking through his blissful daze. He looks up, confused, and then sees Noodle steadily making his way through the bag of treats that had skidded, open, across the floor during your scuffle.

“Shit,” Harry hisses, scrambling up.

You groan, trying to pull him back. “Come back,” you whine, but Harry grabs the now almost empty bag of treats with a huff before looking back at you. He holds it up, and you sigh heavily.

“Shoulda just let him have it,” you say.

“‘s not healthy,” Harry says back, and he ruffles Noodle’s fur before carefully placing the bag on a table higher than Noodle can reach. “It’s not healthy to leave me alone, either,” you complain, and Harry laughs. “Please.”

With a dramatic groan, you get up to sit over where Harry is. You situate yourself next to him, and Harry smiles at how perfectly you fit together. You rest your head on his shoulder and sigh happily. “Guess we’re parents now,” you say, looking at Noodle.

Harry kisses your temple, smiling more. “Guess so,” he says.

***

hope you liked it!!!!! if you did, a reblog and some feedback would be much appreciated 💜 thanks for reading!!!!!!!

masterlist | ask

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles fanfic #harry styles

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awkward-tension-art · 4 years

Text

Put on a Show

So @weebsinstash has an incredible yandere!erasermic x reader series go read everything they write, its fantastic

I wanted to play around with the idea too, so i asked for permission on anon lol.

enjoy this full 2,090 words

Warning: yandere themes, yandere!erasermic, League of Villains, fear, mentions of past torture, mentions of abuse, mentions of past abusive relationship, implied Spinner x Reader, kissing, Villain origin story, female pronouns used for reader, (if i missed a tag lmk)

You ran. You ran as fast and as far as you could. Your bare feet hit the wet ground, cursing as you stumbled. Your hands hit the mud, but you didn’t stop.

Even when your lungs screamed.

Even when your muscles burned.

You kept going.

With luck, a razor and your own wits you had managed to escape that hell house. You’d managed to escape from the clutches of your obsessed demons.

At the slight thought of your tormentors, the now healed break in your leg aches all over again.

Keep going.

KEEP GOING.

The woods betrayed you before, but hopefully, the downpour may erase your footprints. A branch latched onto your shoulder and you screeched. Memories of Aizawa’s cruel grasp flooded your mind. You slipped on the wet ground, tumbling down a slight incline.

Dazed, confused and hurt, you ignored your pain and kept going. Desperation and adrenaline kept you going.

Do not stop.

You looked down to avoid losing your eyes to another branch, only to embarrassingly run straight into a tree. Your body fell back, landing harshly on the mud.

You heard a groan.

Trees do not groan.

Fear overran your systems as you slowly, shakily looked up.

In front of you was a man covered in green scales. He looked more like a lizard, than an actual human, but you quickly guessed that was his quirk. But, he wasn’t alone.

A scarred man with piercings. A teenage girl with blond hair. Another man with a mask. And lastly…

You recognized him from the news.

Shigaraki.

The League Of Villains

“What the hell,” The lizard-man hissed, rubbing his head, “Where the fuck did you come from?”

You took your chances.

“Please…” you gasped, looking up at the white haired leader, “Help me.”

It took approximately 3 seconds to be taken from the forest. The scarred man, Dabi you learned, pulled out his phone and called Kurogiri, their method of transport.

Spinner, surprisingly like a gentleman, helped you stand and introduced himself.

Not a second later your vision was filled with black and you were out of the rain.

Out of the cold.

Out of the monsters’ clutches.

Instead, you found yourself in a surprisingly comfortable bar scene. It was warm, bright, and quite homey.

Shigaraki continued to stare at you, his red eyes giving away nothing. The blonde however, hovered, as she began to talk. You couldn’t keep up, exhaustion slowing your mind and mental process. All you managed to register is ‘blood’.

A tall woman spoke up first, “oh dear, look at you. You look like a wet rat.” She inspected you before standing straight, “Let me get you something dry.You can call my Big Sis Magne!”

You nodded, managing a small “thank you,” as she rushed out of the room to come back with a dry towel, draping it over you.

‘Huh, it smells nice,’ you thought, wrapping it around your shoulders, taking in the small comfort. Almost like roses and lavender…

The leader finally spoke up, “Who are you?”

That was the question. That one simple question caused the dam to burst. You broke down, telling them everything. The torture, the abuse, the agony, all by the hands of two supposed heroes. You went over every grueling, painful detail, tears pouring down your face.

They knew of your captors and torture before they even knew your name.

With every word, The league members, especially Dabi, became more and more disgusted and angry. You didn’t even finish when Spinner offered a kind hand for you to hold onto.

“P-please,” you finally managed, “D-don’t send me back…”

Shigaraki scoffed, “Heroes think they can just do whatever they want huh? Well fuck ‘em. Eraserhead and Present Mic want their precious treasure back? Well too bad. It’s ours now.”

Big Sis Magne let out a happy laugh, “Oh good! Another girl! If you ask me, only having Toga around was getting to be too much.” She took your other free hand, “We’re gonna be such a good team, those nasty heroes won’t know what hit them.”

“I can’t wait to make them pay with their blood,” Toga smiled, her golden eyes shining with excitement. Dabi remained silent, but Spinner gave you a kind smile. “What a show it will be! You, coming face to face with those demons, and having us at your back!” The one with the mask, Mr.Compress, finally spoke, giving a theatrical hand wave.

With every word, you felt your shoulders get lighter.

“Now,” The leader, your new leader, spoke up, “Tell me all about your quirk, and those pieces of garbage that hurt you.”

When Shouta and Hizashi returned home, they knew something was wrong. The house seemed...cold. You were not in the living room, nor the kitchen.

They assumed this was one of your bad days. Where you’d sleep until it was late at night, only so you can avoid them.

Quickly, that changed.

The closer Shouta got to your door, the more he felt his gut twist. The air seemed wet and almost humid.

“Hey, are you awake in there?” He knocked, concerned, “I’m coming in!”

When he opened the door, the wet air made sense. Your window was open, rain poured in from the storm outside. The carpet and everything else by the window was soaked, giving the hero a clue that you’ve been gone a while.

“HIZASHI!” The black haired male called out, darting into the room. Desperately he looked around, only to look up when he heard his husband cry out.

“She’s gone! Our songbird is gone!!” He panicked, aiding Shouta in his desperate search. The couple tore apart the house, hoping this was something else. Hoping you didn’t leave through the window.

They hoped and prayed, only for their optimism to be dashed when their search turned up empty.

“We need to go after her!” The blonde hero cried, “s-she could be hurt! She doesn’t know how to take care of herself!!”

Shouta was already preparing to venture outside. He was at the door when he turned to look at his severely distressed husband, “stay here. In case she comes back, I’ll go look for her.”

With that, Eraserhead ran out of the front door of the house, hoping to find you in the woods.

Days became weeks became months. With every passing hour, you felt happier and lighter. Your spirit and soul were healing. It will take time, but you knew you were able to recover. You had escaped, and found a family who would ride or die with you.

You’d ride or die with them.

Spinner was especially kind to you. He was a gentleman, always asking before touching. You spent most of your free time with him when he or you weren’t gone collecting information or searching for members.

You still weren't comfortable going on missions by yourself. Most of the them were with Dabi, Big Sis Magne or Jin, who you’d met shortly after your joining. Despite the short time with them, you felt like you belonged. You helped them, they helped you. You became a part of their family.

They’d even gone so far as to get your cat Mochi back. Dabi simply dumped the kitty on your lap and walked away without saying anything. You missed your feline friend, and now in the league, he gets all the love the villains could muster.

They try to keep sudden loud noises to a minimum. Occasionally a surprise yell or sound would happen, but someone was always quick to jump to your defense.

It was mostly Shigaraki, but he’d apologize begrudgingly.

Even he wasn’t so bad. You had gone with Toga to get him a new controller, and he’s tolerated you ever since (maybe even respect you after you managed to beat him to a quick video game match).

This was your life. This was your freedom.

This was what you wanted.

It’s been hell without you. Shouta and Hizashi were in hell. It’s been months since the eraser hero found your footprints surrounded by others. It’s been months of searching. Months of desperation to rescue you from your kidnappers. That’s the only logical reason for your disappearance.

You were kidnapped.

You needed them. You needed your lovers.

But they couldn’t save you.

Some nights Shouta would wake up alone. He’d be cold and lonely. Slowly he’d walk to your room, and find his blonde husband asleep, holding your favorite pillow.

It stopped smelling like you a while ago.

With every passing day their hope waned. With every passing hour their hearts ached.

Shouta finally broke down one night. When he woke up alone again he wandered to your room, finding Hizashi in his usual position. Instead of being asleep, the blonde’s shoulders shook with muffled sobs and cries.

The Eraser hero sat on the bed and held his husband, not bothering to muffle his own weeping.

This isn’t what they wanted.

The view from the roof was both beautiful and hilarious. You orchestrated a nomu attack, remaining hidden. Spinner was accompanying you. The others were scattered around the city, taking in the chaos.

You remembered those roads and streets. You walked them for so long.

Until those bastards stole you.

Now, with your life in the league, you could stroll down the sidewalk again. You could see the sky and feel the sun.

You could punish heroes for abandoning you. For letting you get kidnapped.

A smile graced your lips. The chaos of the nomu was beautiful.

There was a flash of black in the corner of your eye, and you turned your head. Slowly, your smile grew at the sight of Eraserhead struggling to take down the brutish monster.

Only to have your smile fade when Present Mic saves him.

“Ugh, I hate them.” You growled, “I see them and I hate them.”

Spinner looked up from his spot on the roof. He swished his tail once before following your gaze to your distant tormentors.

“You should put on a show,” he put a hand on your shoulder, “drive ‘em even more bat shit.”

You laughed warmly, the idea of breaking their hearts even more gave you infinite joy.

“Mind if I use you?” You asked, preparing to use your quirk.

With the villains you have gotten stronger. Your quirk was a weapon. A strong, powerful, useful weapon.

You’re the opposite of what Shouta and Hizashi said over and over again.

They can’t tell you that you're weak. Not anymore.

There was a tipped over bus, and that’s where you planted the illusion.

You and Spinner, hand in hand.

Oh this is gonna be good.

When they dealt with the Nomu, Hizashi looked to the bus, and even from a distance, you could see his eyes widen.

“S-songbird!”

You gagged, and Spinner laughed softly beside you.

Shouta looked up, meeting the illusions gaze.

You feared he’d use his quirk, destroying your fun, but he didn’t, at least not in that instant.

“G-get away from her!” The black haired male shouted, his black eyes trained on fake-spinner.

“No,” the illusion spoke, “I think your precious songbird belongs to me.”

The illusion of spinner pulled illusion you closer. The illusion of you looking bashful.

Shouta prepared an attack, jumping up in the air to do so. Hizashi prepared his own quirk, apparently ok with sacrificing your well-being to get you.

You cause fake-spinner to dip fake-you into a deep kiss.

That was apparently distracting enough to cause Present Mic to choke on air, and Eraserhead to stumble and miss his attack.

“Come on my sweet,” fake-you cooed, “let’s go.”

You created one more illusion, covering the two fakes in smoke, making them disappear.

As you finished with your quirk, you rubbed your temples.

Spinner laughed beside you, “m-my sweet! Oh my god you killed me.”

You gave a faint smile, that only grew when you heard Hizashi’s mournful howling.

Spinner and you peered over the edge of the roof, and spotted the two of them breaking down. The blonde was wailing. You swear you saw his fat tears from your position.

Shouta just looked broken. He looked absolutely devastated.

Maybe a long time ago that sight would have hurt you.

You made eye contact with your partner next to you.

“My sweet,” you teased, promptly bursting into laughter.

“Let’s go! Before they hear us!” Spinner tried to shush you, failing with his own giggling.

You nodded and grabbed his hand.

“Let’s go then,” you winked, “my sweet.”

The both of you fled, making your way to Jin and Toga.

You smiled at the sight of them, only feeling happier as more of your family of villains got together.

This is exactly where you wanted to be.

A villain, to make those heroes suffer.

#reader insert #yandere!erasermic #yandere #yandere shouta aizawa #yandere hizashi #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #yandere bnha #My writing

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thistle-and-thorn · 3 years

Text

my goal-setting manifesto

So recently @woodswit wrote a super thought-provoking post about struggling with the benefits of loving feeling fit and struggling with external validation regarding fitness and so this is kind of my reference guide for myself about goal-setting and the way *I* need to remember to think about it.

I minored in a very specific form of organizational management in college and a huge part of that curriculum was goal-setting. We were encouraged to make one-year, five-year, ten-year career plans, we learned how to set SMART goals, how to identify what steps were right for you, etc. Well, babies, I did not need this curriculum because in high school we had done this exact same curriculum. SMART goals, college planning, etc. Bitch, I knew how to plan my life and, bitch, I had it planned. I was a very high-achieving and ambitious student—I went after awards, AP scores, good grades, letters of recommendation. The school system I attended was very typical of an American school in that those things were the primary indicators for success and the “quality” of our grades determined our classes (and subsequently our social groups) and myriad other things. I was a “good girl” and bought into and benefitted from this kind of structure immensely.

Well. I also have struggled with severe anxiety and periodic depressive episodes that significantly interrupt my daily life and ability to care appropriately for myself. These disorders reached a critical mass at the midpoint of my college career and, after two very bad semesters (one of which ended with me getting a tiny sexy scar from fainting into a doorway), I realized I needed to make significant changes to my priorities. More specifically, I needed to examine the method by which I was defining and collecting achievement and validation. So, after much therapy (I love u Claire), soul-searching, several glasses of a very good local hard cider, I decided to write out the way I goal-set now that enables me to actually breathe and not spiral into self-hatred.

Why Do We Need Goal-Setting?

I actually think that goal-setting is deeply important. If you are a dreamer, I would even say that goal-setting is essential. Personally, I’m a planner/dreamer and enjoy setting goals. It comforts me. Getting a little organized around amorphous ideas like “I want to be a novelist” or “I wish I could travel the world” allows those things to become attainable.

Process and Product

I would say that there are two ways of thinking about goals:

1. Product-Oriented: This is the type of thinking that was taught in my management classes and is exactly what it sounds like. If you do these steps, then you will get x-result. An example of a well-written product-oriented goal is, “By Tuesday, I need to complete three research reports.” (This is true, and I completed them today motherfuckers.) It’s concise, attainable, and happens within a set timeframe.

2. Process-Oriented: This type of thinking focuses on what you will learn or benefit from accomplishing an activity. When I was teaching preschool, an example of this would be taking the kids for a nature walk or free drawing, basically doing an activity where there is no expected result. There is nothing to achieve, there is no medal. The work and the discoveries you make doing the work is the reward. A process-oriented goal would be, “I want to learn about characterization from writing this story.”

In woodswit’s example, she talks about the benefits that cardio exercise has on her mental health, how much happier and confident she is when she is doing a certain variety of exercise regularly. She also talks about how she used to do intense sports.

In this case, a product-oriented way to frame that discussion would be, “I want to get back to the weight I was when I was playing sports” or “I want to be able to lift fifty pounds again.” You will take smaller steps to reach that product—changing the way you eat, figuring out a plan for to work up to lifting heavier things. But the product-oriented way is ultimately a binary—you will either be able to lift fifty pounds or not, you will either reach the weight you were or you won’t. But the process-oriented way to think about these things would be, “I love biking and want to do more of it. Every weekend this summer, I will bike a different rail trail in my county.” The process-oriented method is less specific, but it takes that pressure away from your performance—in the biking example, the only expectation that is set is that you’re going to travel to different bike trails, not that you have to go to every rail trail in the county or that you have to complete the whole trail when you go or that you have to do it in a certain time, just that you are going to go.

There is space for both of these methods, and they are best used in conjunction with each other. Product-oriented is useful, especially in financial situations. A goal for 2022 is to visit my childhood best friend in her new home, halfway across the country. Say I want to go in May 2022 and I figure out that it will cost me roughly $2000. I should probably set a goal with steps to save $2000 by May. It’s also beneficial for the smaller steps to bolster your path to your big dreams—When I was a kid, playing piano gave me a lot of discipline and I would like to have that habit again. That is a process-oriented way of thinking about playing music, but you will probably need to set smaller, product-based goals to achieve it—you will need to select a song and learn to play it, within that song you will need to master it measure by measure.

When we are trained to reach for product, it is hard to recognize the value of process-orientation. A phenomenal example is my WIP. The story I am writing now has 3% the amount of kudos as my biggest fic. I also had a goal of updating every Tuesday. By product standards, that story is a flop. It has the least amount of engagement of anything I’ve ever written, and I haven’t updated it in like two weeks. However, why do I write? I write because I enjoy it, I write fanfic specifically to practice new skills. This story has stretched my abilities and I’ve grown from working on it. By process standards, it’s the most successful of my fics.

And in terms of bigger life things? Process-oriented is the way to go. Why? Because if the pandemic taught us anything, it is that life is not linear. It is nearly impossible to set a straight path—be it up a corporate ladder or a fitness goal—why? Because life sucks. Someone dies, you become ill, it rains, you fall in love, you fall out of love—minute inconveniences happen every day. Process takes the pressure off of your performance because you can’t perform all the time. This is essential in fitness goals because our physical state is especially ephemeral. Of course, it happens in other areas of life, too. An example: In the autumn of 2017, I fell into the deepest depression I have ever been in before or since. I could not remember to shower, let alone do my anthropology homework. As a result, for the first time, I was struggling to create the basic products—like, you know, homework—expected in my classes. That was even more devastating. Around the midpoint of the semester, I realized that product was not sustaining me and if I didn’t want to drop out or harm myself when I “failed”, I had to change my approach.

Once my classes became less about “I need to feel my Middle East studies requirement so I can get a History degree and get an A so I can get on the Dean’s List,” and I reconnected with, “I want to learn a lot about the Middle East,” the products came more naturally. They came more imperfectly, too, but I was able to complete the product because I put less pressure on making them to a certain standard. It became easier to recommit to my goal of being a college-educated woman when I remembered the why of receiving a college education. In woodswit’s original post, she acknowledges that the definition of intense exercise is different for every individual. But it’s also different for the individual at different points in their life and recognizing that intensity and success are arbitrary standards is an essential part of reframing your goal-setting as being process-orientated.

How Do I Goal Set Now?

I still goal-set and a lot of my goals could be likely defined as product-goals. However, they are all made with a long view in mind—if I set a goal to run a 5K, what am I going to get out of it besides just saying that I can run a 5K? Here are ways that I stay process-oriented throughout:

1. Goal Periods

I have three times of year when I set goals: January, June, and Lent. I will set a date on the calendar every year to sit down and just think about what I want to accomplish just in the next twelve-month period and what vision I have for myself in three to five years. No more than that.

January is when I set my personal goals and June is where I set my professional ones. I keep a spreadsheet throughout the year of experiences I would like to have. I will look to this list for inspiration. In January and June, while goal-setting, I check in with the opposing goals. So, in June, I checked in with my progression on my personal goals. I rethought if those goals were still realistic and if I was benefitting from them and in what ways. Then I recommitted to them or adjusted them to help me reach them.

2. Holistic Goals

Unless it’s curing cancer, there is no single goal worth putting all the rest on hold for. Each goal is a battle, and your life is the war. This is a deeply privileged example but: the goal of living independently the first two years out of college was probably achievable. But the effort to achieve that one goal meant that, like, six other personal and financial goals would not be met. So, I put off my career goals and stayed at home and taught preschool for two years. It meant a delay while it seemed like my other friends were growing up and achieving at faster rates, but the temporary strain of achieving a particular goal is sometimes worth it when it dominos into other opportunities.

3. Goal Bundling

I bundle my goals now as a part of my goals check-ins. An example of this is: I loved studying abroad and would love to spend more extended time in the country I studied in during undergrad. I would love to go to graduate school. Ipso facto, presto change-o, I should look at graduate programs in that country and see if that is an achievable goal.

This post is a good example of all of this lol. Why did I write it? there won't be an audience for it but the process of setting all of these thoughts on to paper was cathartic, creating a reference guide on this topic for myself when I am depressed is important, and that has to, has to, has to be good enough.

#claire is a saint and needs her own tag #personal #goals #goal: marry chloe sevigny

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mysmegrace · 4 years

Note

Hey! I noticed your masterlist is a bit empty, can i fix that? Haha. Maybe you could write some headcanons with Saeran (and if you do more characters), Jaehee and Jumin having a cooking date with mc? Like maybe cookies, or browniesor cake! Idk haha. Sorry for the long ask. ☺️

Hey 👋 Haha yeah my master list isn’t doing so well right now lol. I love your ask, it’s so cute, and it’s not long at all! I didn’t see this until right now so forgive me if this is late lol!

Cooking Date with Saeran/Jumin/Jaehee 🥘

Saeran (Normal Ending)🌹

Staying indoors all day wasn’t fun in the slightest. Fortunately for you and Saeran, the coronavirus hadn’t reached the island you inhabited yet

Given that didn’t mean you guys were entirely safe, so you two had to follow the safety measures just like the rest of the RFA had to do back in South Korea

That meant you had to forget about your vacation to Greece you had planned for to go explore the European country and discover it’s beauty

You two definitely weren’t happy about that as you both were incredibly excited about the trip, the cancellation of the trip caused your moods to tank this week

As if you two weren’t already down in the dumps enough, you woke up to loud rain drops banging on your window

When seeing the combination of strong rain and high winds, a sigh escaped your lips

Walking around the island and admiring the gorgeous nature combined with seas that surrounded it was the only thing bringing you two comfort in these rough times

But because of how messy the weather was today, you couldn’t even do that

Feeling upset, you accepted defeat from Mother Nature and laid back down in bed, cuddled up to Saeran

After resting another few hours, the weather had only gotten worse, contrary to what you’d hope it’d be

You could see the look of disappointment that came across Saerans face as he looked outside the window

Nature was not just a pretty sight to Saeran, but a much stronger comforting sight to him, so you understood completely how this made him feel

The entirety of your early afternoon contained of just you and Saeran laying down focused on your phones

Nearing dinner hours you got a sudden yet welcoming motivation to get up and make something out of this horrible day after seeing lots of inspiration online

After a lot of thought you came to the conclusion that a cooking date sounds like something you two could use right now

You surfed the web until you came across the perfect recipe, Moussaka for dinner and Loukoumades for dessert

Two Greek dishes served frequently around Greece, maybe trying your hand at making these dishes could lighten your moods

This sounds like a great idea not only because it’s delicious food, but also because it could give you and Saeran a feel of Greece far away from the country

With everything planned and making sure all ingredients are in stock, you approach Saeran with your plan

He isn’t too enthusiastic when hearing your idea but with the puppy face you’re giving him, he found it hard to deny your offer

So he eventually agreed and you two were off to work

You turned on some calming music while you and Saeran began cutting up the vegetables needed for the Moussaka together

As time went on, you noticed you began getting happier as you two were cooking and making conversation

Your plan seemed to be working incredibly

After all ingredients were done and assembled correctly, you two gave it all time to cook

While it was cooking, you started talking about the future and about your dreams, you could tell his mood was lifting

You grew increasingly open with each other in discussing your wants and dreams, then a sudden but very welcomed kiss from Saeran touched your lips

It was only a little kiss, but that little kiss turned into another little kiss, and eventually it wasn’t just a little kiss anymore

You thought back to the days in Mint Eye, you could never see you and Saeran coming so far, but here you were now making out on the couch you shared

His hand laid gentle on your cheek as you two sat there enjoying every piece of each other and this amazing feeling

You both snapped back to reality once the timer rang loud through the home

Getting up disappointed because you two were interrupted, you walked over to take out the dinner with Saeran following you

Once you sat it down to cool, a giggle left Saerans mouth as his eyes laid on a trace of honey he left on your cheek

You returned his chuckle as you attempted to wipe the honey off with a towel

His hand stopped you from doing so as he turned your face towards him and wiped the trace of honey off with his thumb

“Thank you” you replied to his actions accompanied with a blush

“No need to thank me, it’s my job” he responded

You gave him a loving smile as you turned around to grab plates

You served the meal blown with a kiss on top as you two got to eating

Satisfied with the creation, you both had a loveable conversation and got a little piece of Greece in your home while missing out on your trip

After dinner dessert was served and you could’ve sworn you gained 30lbs from that delicious food

You both realized as long as you two are together, there’s no excuse to be upset about something that can always hold off until a later date

Jumin💎

The front door opening got your attention as you laid on the couch waiting for Jumin to arrive home

An hour ago he had run out to the grocery store to pick up some essentials and ingredients you two would need tonight

You both had planned cooking a meal together this afternoon and enjoying it over a candle lit table

Having a dinner date inside the home to relax and spend time together was something you definitely needed

It was perfect to make you feel even more loved and great for Jumin to lift stressful things from his mind

After an exhausting week of almost working himself to death, he brought up the idea to you

You didn’t even need to think before you agreed

Knowing Jumin, he was going all out

You swore the table cloth alone costed more than your rent for your old apartment

While he was sliding off his shoes with his arms holding many bags, you walked up to him and placed a short but sweet kiss on his lips

After you both brought the bags to the kitchen and got them unpacked, you got to work

You decided on stir-fry and lava cake

With Jumin focusing on the vegetables and chicken, you got to work on the sauce

Every time he passed you to get to the fridge, his hands wrapped around your waist for a brief minute as he placed a soft kiss on your temple

A light blush always came over your cheeks whenever he did loving actions like this, even after 3 years of marriage

You both were getting into conversations about life

About Elizabeth the 3rd, the next RFA party, plans for C&R, the current political climate, and much similar

Jumin was such an interesting man, how he could talk for hours about topics regarding the economy and fail to make you bored is beyond you

But you liked that about him, along with many other attributes of his

You always felt loved and protected in his presence, a feeling you’ve never felt throughout your childhood

As your conversation slowly shifted and you two starting getting more depth with your discussions, he expressed how much love he felt for you everyday

He never thought he could love someone this much, he can’t even imagine how much more love he’ll have in his heart when/if you two create your own family

While talking, you added the stir fry sauce to his concoction of vegetables & chicken on the stove, along with adding in noodles

You stirred the mixture carefully, making sure not to spill

An unexpected hand came on top of yours and joined you in stirring the mixture

You took those few minutes when he was directly behind you to take the situation in, to just breathe out and relax in his presence

Your stir fry was cooked perfectly as you turned off the heat and let it to cool a bit

While cooking, you both got to work on the lava cake

It was a quick & simple recipe that Jumin had never attempted to make before

He usually had his chef cook for you both so this entire experience was a special occasion to him

You both continued where u left off in your conversation

The look in his eyes as he spoke passionately, the way his lips moved along with his words, god you loved this man

You still remember the days when Jumin seemed like such a cold man to you at first

But when getting closer to him and hearing him open up to you, you realize how broken he’s been from childhood

He deserved better

Your thoughts were cut off the loud timer going off

As Jumin went to take out the cake, he told you to go get dressed

You were confused but listened, he had an outfit already laid out for you on the bed you two shared

He really was over the top somethings

After getting the gorgeous dress on, you walked back out to the kitchen to meet him

You were met with a well set table already prepared and a lit candle in the centre of you two

He took your soft hand into his and led you to your seat, pulling your chair in and out for you

He joined you seated at the table and you two became to eat

The dinner tasted great, better than you both expected

It wasn’t to his chefs level, but it was great for a non-chef

The rest of your night was spent in each other’s arms drinking a glass of wine on the couch

you two may or may not have had a shower after to clean yourselves off together and did some things 👁👄👁

Jaehee 🧁

You arrived at Jaehee’s apartment around noon

You two had planned to bake some cookies and donate them to the orphanage to give to children

Jaehee had her cooking supplies ready before you even arrived, she’s incredibly good at being prepared

You both got straight to work and had decided on chocolate chip and raisin cookies

Jaehee turned on some music to listen to in the background

She did the chocolate chip, you did raisin

A song came on from her playlist that you loved, you knew the dance to it and everything

You started dancing as you mixed the batter, singing along to the songs

That earned you a quick look of confusion from Jaehee

You stopped mixing and sat down the bowl as you stretched your hand out to Jaehee, offering her to dance with you

She stared for a minute before hesitantly agreeing after you told her to let loose a little

You started off slow, making sure she got a hang of the moves

Then you began gaining pace, building up speed

You saw a smile creep onto her face as she moved along with you

The song came to a short and after a short laugh you both got back to work

Hours passed of you making cookies before you were done, covered in a mess

You wiped your finger into the flour you had on your apron

You gave Jaehee an unexpected surprise by swiping the flour on her nose

She quickly returned your action back and you were soon in a flour war zone

After coating each other in the white powder, you two decided to call it quits for the day as you removed your apron

Looking at the cookies on the counter, you both grabbed one and cheered them together, making a toast

“To us”

I hope you enjoyed! I apologize if Jaehee’s seems rushed in any way, it’s almost 3am right now and I’m not functioning properly lol. Plus I’m not the best at writing with Jaehee. Thank you for your request!

REQUESTS: OPEN

#mysme #mysme headcanons #jumin han #mystic messenger #mystic messenger head canon #mysme fanfic #jumin x mc #saeran x mc #saeran choi #jaehee kang #jaehee x mc #mysme imagines

105 notes · View notes

lexilucacia · 4 years

Note

Hi, can you write something where Chase is in a stable and healthy relationship with a girl/guy from outside of work and one day they make him lunch with cute notes inside and house finds it and then mocks him before the team ( original or the rest) and Chase goes I'm happy and that's what matters and then he goes home and proposes because he knows his partner is all he wants in life. Pls pls pls i just want him to be happy.

This prompt really spoke to me, so I’m sooooo sorry to everyone else’s I haven’t written yet, but when inspiration strikes, it just does!

Title: Little notes For Chase

Words: 3031

Tags: Marriage Proposal ×Weddings ×Fluff ×House Being House ×Secret Relationship ×Love Letters ×(or notes really) ×love notes ×thats not a tag ×Love Confessions ×Cross-Posted on Tumblr ×Tumblr Prompt ×Teasing ×Happy Ending ×Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts ×Author Is Sleep Deprived ×I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping ×POV Robert Chase ×

Pairings: Robert Chase/OMC

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29378082

Chase smiled again at the little note that his partner had slipped inside his lunch bag. They never failed to make him smile from the ones that had long extravagant messages to the small ‘I love u!’s that often made an appearance on a busy morning. He can’t really remember how it started, he thinks it must have been a late night where Chase was a bit too tired to pack his own bag (and that made him sound like a school kid). So, Felix had packed food for him, sending him off to work with a kiss and a ‘I love you’.

He had seen the yellow postie flutter to the ground, catching in his grip recognising it as one of his partner’s lucky posties with ducks in the corners. The little message had caught him off guard, he’d expected his boyfriend’s weird rambles that he left around the house accidentally packed in his bag, but instead it was a little smiley face and a love heart. The note read, ‘don’t forget that you are loved (especially by me)’ with little hat drawn onto the printed cartoon duck.

He clutched the note to his chest, pinning it up in his locker once his lunch break was over. They didn’t speak of it, but at night, after Chase had thought Felix was asleep he pressed a soft kiss to his nape, and squeezed him a little tighter.

The notes had become a constant in his life, he was used to finding one sitting one behind the toothpaste holder, one in the cabinet next to a new box of his favourite cereal and occasionally in his textbooks when he was studying for requalifications. He still found notes in his lunchbox, his favourite sitting next to a picture of him and his beloved. This one in particular read ‘I know I don’t have to woo you my love, you’d never leave me. But if you did, let’s just say I know an abandoned warehouse, you’re with me for the long haul.’

Chase had almost cried at that one and had wanted to pull out the wedding ring he’d put in the back of his cupboard a few months prior, that very night. Felix’s warped, wacky and weird sense of humour was the reason Chase loved him so much. He nevertheless stopped himself, unable to forgive himself if Felix didn’t get the proposal he deserved, goddamnit.

They’d talked about marriage a lot, but neither had popped the question and Chase wanted to make the day that he did perfect (if Felix didn’t beat him to it at this rate). He was falling more in love with the man and his endearing notes, not that he’d thought it was possible and most days he thought his heart might burst with love. He’d be concerned if he wasn’t a doctor and working at a hospital.

Felix always seemed to know what to say. Reminders of love and worth came on days where he couldn’t his dad’s words out of his head, notes of memories and date nights came when Chase was feeling nostalgic, and his favourite every day the assurance of love. He never knew how to repay Felix, what to do for him, so he settled on small things, things that often would come up in the notes.

He’d notice that Felix was running out of clean socks and the next day all of Felix’s socks would be lined up, folded and washed (even if he’d had a night shift), prompting the drawing of tiny socks on his next note. Or Chase unloading the dishwasher, or putting Felix’s books away when he fell asleep with them on his chest.

Both of them savoured these small things, tokens of their love, their bliss and domesticity. It all seemed to be going well, until one day Chase was careless. His boss House had all but ordered a team lunch, so there was no way out with his dignity (or secrets as it may be).

Lunch started out normal, or normal as it could be with House and his nosey (pining in one case) colleagues, Cameron and Foreman, so he should have expected this. Chase pulled out his lunch bag, ignoring the snickering from House about how gay it looked and set to work digging through to see what food Felix had packed today. Inside it held a vegemite sandwich, a few pieces of chopped up fruit, juice box and a small lamington they’d purchased earlier in the week.

It honestly looked like a school lunch, House teasing him as such as he ignored his definitely flaming cheeks and certainly beet red ears. He was almost (not really) pleased to see the lack of a note perching in his bag, until something yellow fluttered past his eye, reminding him of the first day. Before he could smile goofily at the memory and snatch up his note, a loud sound rang out in the cafeteria.

The yellow disappeared under a familiar stump of wood, that Chase was used to hearing click down the halls of PPTH. The man had surprisingly quick reflexes (only when it embarrassed Chase of course) and the paper made a loud sound as it slid along the floor to House’s foot. The thrum of his heart beat and the scraping of the paper was all he could hear as the cafeteria noise was muffled around him.

The older man picked up the note, capturing the attention of a few tables around them and the new people sitting at their table. House scrunched his eyes at the note, crinkling his nose in distaste at contents and reading it disdainfully.

“3 years i’ve put up with your ugly mug and you still haven’t learnt to fold shirts properly. Date night doesn’t sound so fun now.” The note had a crudely, pencil drawn shirt on the duck, making Chase smile as he looked over House’s shoulder.

Ho honestly didn’t know whether to sob or laugh, settling for a strange mixture of both, smile wide and tears running down his face, so that the rest of the cafeteria was staring at him, if they hadn’t been before.

It was their 3 year anniversary, Felix had remembered the conversation they’d had on their first date, he had never been more in love with the man. He must have zoned back, because when he finally snapped back to snatch the note from a gaping House’s hand, he was being barraged with questions.

“3 years?”

“Why didn’t we know?”

“Who is she?”

“What’s the crying for?”

“How could you have kept this a secret?”

“Is she hot?”

“I thought you slept with everyone?”

“What about the nurses?”

Chase was already getting a headache, not in the mood for this and wanting to sneak off and call Felix, just to rant about his day or blubber about his love, whatever came out first. He put a hand out, effectively silencing everyone. He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “What do you want to know?”

Before they could all start shouting again he sighed. “One at a time.”

“Who is she? Why didn’t we know? How long Chase?” Chase had to coach his face into a neutral expression not to blow up at Cameron, the woman had made it no secret of her crush on him.

He simply raised an eyebrow, on an otherwise poker face. “His name is Felix. 3 years and I am under no obligation to share my personal life. There is a reason it’s my private life.” He glared.

Cameron looked shocked, before apologising for being rude and Chase felt a little guilty, but not enough to apologise in front of hundreds of prying eyes. He turned to Foreman who looked like he was bursting for a question.

“He?” Was all Foreman could get out, voice squeaky.

“He is the love of my life. Any more questions?”

“Knew you were too pretty to be straight.” House smirked, taking a bite into the younger man’s sandwich before spitting it out.

“Did you try to poison me?” He shrieked.

It was Chase’s turn to smirk, picking up the offending sandwich and taking a large bite out of the other side. “I hope my boyfriend wasn’t trying to do so, it would have been me.” He exclaimed with mock horror.

He munched on the sandwich ignoring the taunts coming his way from House and walked back to his locker to put away his lunch bag and postie. Unfortunately House, Foreman and Cameron had deigned it necessary to walk him to his locker. After failed attempts to get them to walk away he opened his locker, smiling at the bright yellow notes and pictures of the two of them.

The photos detailed their story, their first date and Chase could almost feel it, smell it, taste it. Their hands damp with nervous sweat, uncomfortable suits and awkward conversation at a fancy Italian restaurant that had ended with them shucking off their ties, undoing their top buttons, kicking off their shoes and running in the rain. There was a cute, but blurry before and after photo of their date that Chase had insisted on printing for their anniversary.

The rest of the images showed dates at DisneyLand, kisses under the mistletoe, birthdays and anniversaries spent together, hell there was even a picture of a half asleep Felix, shirtless and covered by a white sheet, Chase had taken one morning when the sun was just right and he looked like an angel in disguise.

The post it notes took up all his locker door, some half hanging off, some stuck with blue tac, others with sticky tape and the special ones hung on a piece of string with some old pegs. It was truly an altar for his love, his life and he couldn’t be happier. Tucked behind it was an old picture of a shirtless blonde, teen, smiling widely on the beach, arm around a similar looking but younger girl, also grinning. They were holding matching surfboards and both were dripping wet from the surf, clutching ice blocks.

Chase treasured the photo of him and his sister, but Felix took up the most space, like he did in Chase’s life. He’d bounded in and never left, from the day he’d run into him on a train and spilt coffee on him (what a cliche), while running late for one of House’s crazy ideas. Felix had filled the hole in his life that Chase hadn’t realised he’d had, life always filled with colour and joy and weirdness, with love and a warmth he’d never felt before. For once he was content, no matter what he could hear the others muttering behind him.

Foreman didn’t leave him alone the rest of the day, every time they went to do lab samples, nudging him and asking about his sex life. Cameron was more discreet but she too wanted to know everything, it wasn’t unusual behaviour for either, but it had never really been directed at him, making it disconcerting.

House however, was acting much the same, always having teased him about the nurses, only changing the pronouns he used and adding more gay jabs than usual. It didn’t bother Chase for some reason today, maybe it was because he was too excited to see Felix, see what they were for their 3rd year anniversary, Felix had said he’d wanted to plan it this year.

As he was leaving the hospital, he was met with wolf whistles and an eyebrow raise from Cuddy (of course House had gone to her). Wilson also gave him a soft smile as he left, wishing him the next of luck Chase supposed, while House had pelted him with comments about his sex life and ‘taking it up the arse’ as he left. He didn’t care, he was floating on a cloud.

He had to stop himself from speeding home, knowing it was dangerous and Felix would definitely scold him for it, besides he didn’t want to go back to PPTH tonight. After what felt like forever he pulled up outside his house and didn’t bother waiting before he grabbed his bag, rushing up the stairs. What he saw when he entered was not what he expected, but endeared him regardless.

Felix seemed to be juggling six pots, pans and bowls, food spilled on the counter and the faint smell of burning was what greeted him at the door. “Felix, my love?”

He called as he walked in, hanging up his coat and shucking off his shoes, going up behind his boyfriend and wrapping his hands around the smaller man’s waist. “What is this?”

Felix set everything down on the counter, turning around to give Chase a kiss and looking severely put out.

“Robbie,” he whined. “It was supposed to be a surprise, and good, and be fantastic and awesome and it didn’t happen.”

He was pouting and giving Robbie puppy dog eyes and it felt so good to come home and be Robbie, himself, not Chase, like his father. He hummed at his partner, swaying with him and ignoring the half-hearted flails and whines to go back to the cooking.

“How about we get some take out and we’ll clean this up in the morning?” He asked, distracting the man with kisses along his freckles and pulling him impossibly closer, flushed to his hips.

Felix looked like he wanted to argue before moaning into the kiss and pulling Robbie closer. “Okay.”

They made their way over to the couch, Felix lying in Robbie’s arms while they argued over what to watch and whether Hannibal or Will was cuter. All in all it felt domestic, it felt like home. He was warm and comfortable, his brain to mouth filter had gone by now. A few too many drinks and shared thoughts about getting railed by Hannibal ensured it, but even he didn’t think he’d be this stupid.

He opened his mouth and without thinking too much about it he asked, “Will you marry me Felix?”

Felix bolted upright, jostling a sleepy Robbie who had Felix lying on top of him and was running his fingers through the smaller man’s hair, the key word being was.

“Are you serious?” Felix asked, wide eyed. He looked on the verge of tears, but the smile on his face betrayed his emotions in a second.

It took a moment for Chase to realise what he’d said, jerking himself awake. “Yeah.” He finally breathed out, suddenly breaking into a grin.

“Yeah.” Before either of them can stop it, they’re breaking out into hysterical laughter, is this what being in love is like? Chase has never felt anything as close, he wants to feel it for the rest of his life.

“Yeah?” Chase smiles, jumping up and running to their room. He runs back out in record time, narrowly missing the coffee table and getting down on one knee just in time to see Felix sprint out of the kitchen. He opens the box up, showing the reasonable sized rock he’d gotten Felix, hoping to god that he’d like it. Felix took one look at the ring before bursting out into tears.

“Will you be my husband?” Chase asked, smiling sheepishly. “I know it’s not a grand proposal and we just had take out and it’s on our-”

Felix shut him up with a kiss which definitely distracted Chase, then opened his own box. “As long as you’ll be mine.”

The ring Felix has chosen is beautiful, there’s no other way to describe it. It is so perfectly them. On the inside the engraving reads ‘for my silly duck’, the outside a rose gold and encrusted with tiny diamonds. Chase let out a wet sob, sliding Felix’s ring onto his hand. The inscription on his reads ‘for my post-it note hero’ and he cannot wait to spend the rest of his life with this man.

They don’t do much for the rest of the night, as the excitement and nervous energy runs down they sit examining their rings, half watching the tv and both fall asleep on the couch. They both wake up a little too late, but Felix doesn’t have to go into work until midday so he packs Chase’s lunch and sends him off to work with a kiss and a goodbye to his fiance.

God it still made them both giddy. The team noticed as Chase walked in, earlier than usual with a spring in his step, Foreman making a crude comment about getting laid and Cameron just smiling awkwardly, obviously agreeing with Foreman’s assessment but unable to say it.

“So who asked?” House asked, walking in the room and glancing at Chase's inconspicuously hidden hand, that neither fellow had noticed.

“It was a joint effort.” He smiled giddily just thinking of the night before as House made gagging sounds and the other two congratulated him. He got a thump on the back from Foreman, an awkward hug from Cameron, an even more awkward bout of advice from Wilson and a happy congratulations from Cuddy. Word spread around the hospital like wildfire, but he didn’t care.

He was getting married. He had a fiance.

He pulled out his lunch, sitting alone at a table, wanting to see what Felix had packed him. As expected a little note flew out of the bag and landed on the table in front of him, it all seemed to be going his way.

‘To my duckling, my darling fiance’, it read, Chase’s heart skipped a beat at the word, ‘I love you with all my butt. I would say my heart, but it is just not as big.’

He laughed at his boyfriend’s crude sense of humor and big gluteus maximus Felix had given the duck in pencil, placing the note in his locker right next to the photo of their first date. The next photo to go up would be a photo of them at town hall, too excited to wait, along with a photo from their first dance and the traditional cake fight.

He couldn’t be happier, with what Felix called them his ‘Little Notes For Robbie’.

#robert chase x omc #robert chase #house md #proposals #marriage #fluff #everything is beautiful #fanfic #house fanfic #love letters #dumb sense of humour #wrote this instead of sleeping #lexi's fanfic #lexi's writing #greg house

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captainbetonit · 4 years

Text

Room for more chapter 8

~.~

The next few days went well, and as those days bled into a month. Nearly to the date Pixel came back for a check in for the kids. She trusted her friends but needed to put that aside for the well-being and safety, so here she was checking on them.

It was raining that fateful day, near pouring from the dark grey clouds. Thanksgiving will be in a few weeks, the rapid drop in temperature was an odd sensation that she wasn’t prepared for. She didn’t need to knock before Cole opened the door with a smile.

“Hey, come on in.” He greeted her, opening the door.

“Thank you, now you know why i’m here?” Pixel got straight to the point, she wasn’t here as a friend.

Cole nodded, “Of course, now Zane wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk to the kids first or us so both are in the living room.”

She nodded before she brought up their file, it was rather thick and contained the information for both brother and sister. “I’ll talk with the children first, I'm trusting that they're ok.”

“In our words yes, but you have to take their word for it.” Cole simply shrugged, in the end it was up to the kids.

Pixel nodded again, before moving to the living room where the two children sat playing with toys. They did seem happier then when she’d last seen them, more like children.

Zane came out of the kitchen, apron tied around his waist and a tray of drinks in hand. “Hello Mrs. Borg, welcome.”

The children looked up from their toys and smiled at her, Kai seemed hesitant with his greeting but did so nonetheless. “Hello Mrs. Borg!” The two greeted before giving Zane their whole attention.

An exchange of pleasantries and drinks commenced, mostly small talk and such before Pixel cleared her throat, “I would like to speak to the children now please, alone.” That statement made the room feel so much colder.

“Of course, kids go with Mrs.Borg. Show her your rooms and such.” Zane motioned for the two to follow Mrs. Borg when they made no move.

Kai eyed her with caution, he knew she was a nice woman and from he was told she was fair and sweet. But social workers weren’t always nice, they seemed nice but weren’t what they seemed. Nya mostly followed her brother in mannerisms, but never really thought. Like when all the doctors thought her Mama was gonna be fine and she died a week later-or when dad said he’d be back. Nonetheless the two followed Mrs. Borg up the stairs and to Nya’s room where the children share the bed while Mrs. Borg sits in front of them.

~*meanwhile*~

Anxiety was a son of bitch, so much so that Cole was cursing every single god to let him be at peace. Granted that probably wouldn’t happen seeing as they didn’t have much to worry about-they shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

“You're pacing a hole in the carpet dear.” Zane mentioned as he sat with a book on the couch and some tea.

“Surprised you aren’t joining me.” Cole snapped before stopping and wincing, “I’m sorry babe, it’s just been really stressful lately.”

Zane sighed as he closed his book before rubbing his eyes, “I know my dear, but please calm down.”

Cole, now tired, collapses on the couch next to his husband. “I hate waiting.”

Zane guided Cole’s head to his lap and started to card his fingers through thick black hair. “As do I, my love, but if we waited this long then perhaps it’s worth the wait.”

The two were silent for a moment, the house rarely creaked but as the silence went on it felt like the house was moving with the wind of the storm.

“Are we good parents?” Cole asks as Zane picks up his discarded tea.

He was silent for a moment, contemplating his husband's words. “I like to think we’re doing a good job so far, but only time will tell really.”

“I’m not talking about that,” Cole sits up and faces his husband, “I’m talking about are we doing the right thing? Like could we be holding them back, are we taking them away from an uncontacted family member, are we doing things wrong and not knowing it?!” His voice rose an octave, panic of unknown answers to rising questions loomed over him like the storm clouds outside.

Zane wasn’t going to lie; questions like those often plagued his mind. It was times like those when he wouldn’t sleep-couldn’t stop the thoughts that reminded him that what they were doing could have been taken away so quickly.

“I like to think we're doing the right thing-we’re hopefully doing the right thing. Maybe we're helping them, or maybe we’re like our parents and don’t even know it. I…” Zane trailed off, the thought of being like either of his fathers was a difficult one to handle. Dr. Julian was a good man, just not a great parent; never really being there for his kids and favoring one over the other. His other father, Arashi was far more old fashioned with just about everything especially parenting. While he was there for things, It always felt like nothing was good enough for him, and in turn neither Zane nor Echo were good enough.

“We’re definitely better than our parents-no offence. I mean we’re going through all these hoops just to be here.” Cole thankfully interrupts Zane’s thoughts. “Plus we’ve done a lot to get here and made progress with Kai.”

Ok that was undeniable-when Kai first got there it was tense and full of trial and error, Nya while younger and mostly followed her brother in terms of what he did. Both have grown so much in the past month, opening up to them and feeling like a family.

“What i’m trying to say is, we can try and hopefully succeed?” Cole gently brought the conversation to a sorta close.

“I suppose your right, but that will never truly answer our questions.” Zane reached for his husband, seeking comfort. “And that’s good right?”

The two were quiet for a moment, before little feet were heard coming down the stairs followed by the sound of Pixels heels.

The two children joined the older on the couch and leaned deeply into their warmth. Whatever they talked about upstairs was clearly behind them.

“Alright so after i take a look around then you can go back to domestic life.” Pixel smiles as Zane detached himself from Nya’s hold on him and led her around the home for her to deem safe for the children.

~later~

They passed the check with flying colors, the kids were happy and very safe. Education wise Zane had gotten them workbooks and brought them to speed with 5th and 1st grade respectfully so they could both go to school in the spring. If they were still in their care by then anyways.

Nonetheless things were actually going well for the family, it was perfect.

Then they got a call, rather late at night actually from Pixel who sounded frazzled and stressed.

Zane picked up his phone around 3 am, answering the call without looking at the caller ID. “Hello?”

“Hey Zane-quick thing.” Pixel wasted no time with introductions or greetings. “Seeing as you and Cole are foster parents and while I know you already have two children under your care-” Pixel cut herself off with a quick ‘excuse me’ to supposedly yell at someone.

Cole turned to his side as Zane sat up and clicked on the bedside lamp, “What's happening? Who is it?”

Before Zane could answer Pixel talked to him “Can you take a baby-maybe 9 months old?”

Zane was silent for a moment, needing some time to process her words. “Um, can i talk to Cole for a second then I can talk.” He hung up the phone before letting the phone fall and falling backwards into the pillows himself.

“What happened?” Cole himself turned on his bedside lamp before following his husband and collapsing onto his pillows.

“Pixel wants to place us with a baby.” Was all Zane said. That kind of shocked Cole, when they had first considered fostering they had been open to much younger kids. Now though seeing as they already have two kids-did they really need a baby?

“Do you want to?” Zane asks, before pausing, “Foster the baby I mean.”

“Honestly, we should do it.” Cole answers after a pause. “I mean we're doing pretty good with Kai and Nya and the system doesn’t help kids at any age really.”

He turns to his side, waiting for Zane’s response. He knew Zane wanted a baby, hell when they were in highschool Zane took many babysitting jobs be it with his younger brother or the neighborhood kids.

“I think we should as well.” Zane finally answers after the minutes start to stretch. “But what about Kai and Nya? They should be consulted on this, it’s a very important decision that they should have a hand in.”

“Call Pixel back, and we can talk to them in the morning.” Cole advised as he got up with his phone. “I’ll call in sick so we can all talk this over.”

Before Zane could tell him about the rain from the afternoon Pixel picked up, “Zane, hi. Did you both talk about it?”

“Yes, we’d love to foster the baby but why did you call at 3 in the morning?” Zane also got up from bed-he’d might as well check in on the kids.

Pixel was silent on the other line for a little while before she sighed heavily, “Well seeing as i was handed the baby at 2 am i figured it was better than nothing. And you did answer so.”

Zane was quiet for a second, “I’m sorry what?”

Pixel sighed again before answering, “Watch the news in the morning and you’ll understand ok? So when can i come with the baby?”

“Umm, in two days maybe? We have to talk to the kids and get everything ready.” Zane leaded against the hallway wall. “..What’s their name? The babies?”

“His name is Lloyd, he's nine months old and i think you’ll love him.” He could hear the smile in Pixels voice before his phone pinged. “I sent you some general information, I'll talk to you later ok?” They exchanged goodbyes and hung up.

After checking Kai’s room(it was empty) and then going to Nya’s to see the siblings cuddled close in the bed. After a quick picture of the two he closed the door and went back to bed. Cole was back, the bedside lamp turned off. Zane turned off his light and went to sleep.

Tomorrow is going to be hectic.

#cole brookstone #kai smith #zane julien #nya smith #room for more #glaciershipping #pixal borg

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imjustthemechanic · 3 years

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The Price of a Soul

Part 1/? - Agent Russel Part 2/? - The Letter Part 3/? - Miss Lake Part 4/? - The Stewardess

Miss Lake has been spotted on her way to New York, and by the time she gets there, Peggy thinks she has figured out why.

Peggy found it very difficult to sleep properly the next few nights. She would toss and turn, with the bedclothes coming free of the mattress and her curlers coming loose in her hair, as she puzzled over the situation and tried to figure out what it all meant.

Based on Lake’s techniques it seemed clear enough that she had come from the same place as Dottie – a facility that trained women from childhood to be perfect, undetectable spies. Evidently, it worked, since Peggy had now fallen for it twice. That being the case, it seemed clear enough that Lake’s mission was to locate Dottie and… and do what? The Soviet government had already denied all knowledge of her and made it clear that they didn’t want her back. Dottie didn’t seem to want to go back, most likely because she knew she’d be executed at once and nobody would shed a tear for her.

Either way, Dottie would be no longer be the SSR’s problem. That might be a good thing, except for the part where Soviet agents were operating on US soil apparently at will. People like Masters, and now Governor Strieber in Nevada with the mob breathing down his neck, already thought the SSR was unnecessary in peacetime, or even actively doing more harm than good. Capturing Dottie would be a way to demonstrate that they weren’t useless and could correct their mistakes. But to capture Dottie they might first have to capture Lake.

And then, apparently just because all that wasn’t enough of a bloody headache, there were the numbers.

What else could they be, if not the location of the Valkyrie? There wasn’t much else up in that part of Canada besides the occasional polar bear. The most obvious explanation seemed to be it was some kind of trick or trap, a distraction, a piece of psychological torture – which it definitely was – but what if? If the Russians did know where Steve’s body was, had they already retrieved it? During the war other countries had certainly been working on their own super-soldiers. The Geneva Convention had condemned such experiments as inhumane, but that certainly wasn’t enough to stop some people.

She was going to need a strong cup of tea in the morning if she were going to be good for anything.

How had she been so stupid? The FBI didn’t employ female agents – posing as one had merely played to Peggy’s sympathies. And she’d already known that Lake was an actress. She’d been doing MacBeth when Peggy walked in and Rose had even said she wasn’t terrible. When Daniel had told her Strieber had called in the FBI she should have asked for the agent’s name then and there, but she’d been too annoyed. If she’d known to expect Nedrick instead of Nadine she could have arrested the woman at once!

Why had she given Peggy the telephone number for a place she actually was staying? Had she really expected Peggy to get in touch with her? Was she supposed to have found the envelope and rung her hours earlier?

Not that it mattered now… by now Lake was surely long-gone. If she’d heard that they’d found the real Agent Russel, she’d probably left the country. The only way they’d find her now was an incredible stroke of luck, and Peggy knew better than to hope for that.

Two days after searching Lake’s apartment, however, Peggy got one.

She arrived at work, and Agent Sato immediately stood up. “Carter!” he called out. “The Chief wants to see you in his office.”

Brilliant, Peggy thought… absolutely tremendous. What more could be added to this palaver? “Thank you, Sato, I’ll be right there.”

She set her purse on her desk and her briefcase beside it, and went and knocked on Daniel’s door.

At this point she would have thought nothing could surprise her anymore, but it was a genuine shock when Daniel answered with a smile on his face. “Good news, Peg,” he said.

“What, really?” she asked.

“We have a sighting!” He let her in. “I got a call from the New York office – a man saw the poster of Miss Lake and recognized it. He says she was a stewardess on his flight from Chicago yesterday.”

It sounded too good to be true but damned if Peggy wouldn’t take it. “From Chicago to where?”

“New York City,” Daniel said.

Peggy paused. “Does that mean Dottie’s in New York?”

“That’s what Thompson thinks. He’s asked for you.”

That was a second surprise. “Thompson asked for me?” Peggy said, not sure she’d heard right. Jack Thompson considered Peggy a humiliation waiting to happen… whenever he thought he was onto something big his first reaction was to push her out of the way so she couldn’t get involved. That was how she’d ended up in Los Angeles in the first place and she doubted anybody had ever been happier to sign transfer papers than he. Now he wanted her help?

“He said to tell you that you’re the expert on these Russian girls. Also that he’s still sore, and his wife doesn’t think he should be back to work at all yet,” said Daniel. “What he told me is that we know Miss Underwood considers you a personal rival, and…”

“And he wants to use me as bait,” Peggy finished for him. Now, that sounded more like Thompson. “Well, you be sure to tell him he can call upon my expertise anytime. Do you have my ticket?”

“It’s waiting for you at the airport,” Daniel replied.

“I’ll pack a bag and be on my way,” she promised.

Daniel nodded. “When I came in today, I was thinking it had been a while since we had a date and with all that’s going on it might help you relax.”

“I’ll take a rain check,” Peggy promised, and kissed him quickly before hurrying out. In the door, however, she hesitated. “Has anyone heard from Agent Russel?”

“No,” said Daniel. “We assumed he’d been taken off the case.”

“So did he,” Peggy replied.

It had only been a couple of weeks since Peggy’s formal transfer to the West Coast had gone through… she had certainly not expected she’d be heading back to New York so soon after finally clearing her things out of Howard’s house. Angie would be happy to see her, and perhaps they’d be able to have lunch together…

But mostly what consumed her thoughts as the propellers roared into takeoff was the question of why Lake would have gone to New York.

Of course, the fact that she’d been on the flight didn’t necessarily mean that was her destination. She could have been on her way to Canada, or Europe, or just about anywhere except Australia, really. Unless she thought her quarry were there, there wasn’t much reason for her to stop in New York City. That was clearly Thompson’s theory, but if he were wrong they might ultimate accomplish nothing.

Was there another reason for her to go to New York? What was in New York that the Soviets might be interested in, besides the SSR itself?

The answer came to her, and she sat up straight. “Fenhoff!”

The man in the seat next to her, who’d been snoozing with a newspaper over his head, twitched. “Gezundheit,” he muttered before settling down again.

Of course, Peggy thought… Fenhoff was the one who’d hired Dottie under false pretenses. He was a major part of the reason why the Americans even knew the Russian women were operatives. He’d done irreparable harm to their national security for the sake of a personal grudge. It was supposed to be a secret where he was being held, but that didn’t mean it actually was. He was in Sing Sing, just up the Hudson River from New York City. If anything, they had even more reason to want him dead than they did Dottie. They would never have lost control of her if not for him.

She checked her watch. Still over an hour until their next landing, when she’d be able to telephone Daniel and tell him.

Her layover was brief, but she did just barely have time to find a pay phone and pass her theory on to Daniel. He promised to pass it on to Thompson and she got back on the plane feeling much less antsy. Not that she felt any great love for Fenhoff himself, but the government wanted to keep him alive, and if it helped her catch Lake and Dottie, well… maybe Thompson had the right idea. Bait.

When the plane finally landed in New York, the SSR had a car there waiting for Peggy. She tossed her suitcase in the back and climbed in – Thompson was in the back seat. Peggy took the place next to him and said, “Fenhoff.”

“Sousa already called me,” Thompson assured her. “We’re arranging to beef up security around the place but we’re not gonna make a show of it. We don’t want to tip Lake off.”

Peggy nodded – it was nice to be taken seriously, although she had to wonder whether Daniel had mentioned it was Peggy’s idea. As the car pulled away to drive to her hotel, she couldn’t resist a dig. “Well, Miss Underwood may not be in town, but it’s lucky I’m still the expert.”

“You can think like they do,” said Thompson, as if agreeing with her. “That’s what we need right now.”

Thompson had never been shy about the belief that women were basically illogical creatures. He would never even try to get into one’s head. “You mean I’m… underhanded and duplicitous?” Peggy asked innocently.

“You’ve fooled all of us more than once,” Thompson pointed out.

He did have a point there. Peggy decided to consider it a compliment. “How’s your war wound?” she asked, referring to the time Thompson had been shot in a hotel room.

Thompson grimaced. “Sally’s still treating me like an invalid. She thinks this would be a great time for me to get an office job. Something where I don’t get shot at.”

“I hope you told her the SSR would be lost without you,” said Peggy.

He gave her a sideways look. “Was that sarcasm, Carter?”

“Of course not!” Peggy changed the subject. “I assume somebody has already called and checked with Sing Sing?”

“Fenhoff’s still in his cell and very much alive,” Thompson replied. “We also interviewed some of the other passengers and crew from the flight.”

“And?”

“They all agree that the sketch from Russel’s description looks like the stewardess. The pilot told me one of the girls who was supposed to be working the flight got a call from the police in her hometown to say her husband had been arrested, so this other lady took her shift. None of them had ever seen her before but they didn’t care as long as she did the job.”

“None of them will ever see her again, I’m sure,” Peggy said. “Any sightings of Dottie?”

“None that we know of.”

“I see.” So unless she really were on her way somewhere else, Fenhoff was the only reason Peggy knew of for Lake to be in New York. The next few nights were going to be a series of long, tired, boring stake-outs, but it wasn’t as if Peggy would have been sleeping anyway.

Once she was settled into her hotel room, Peggy made a couple more telephone calls. One was to Angie, to let her know she was in town and that the two of them could get together and catch up once she knew her schedule better. Then she did her best to catch a few hours of sleep, knowing full well she’d be up the entire night.

This went better than she’d expected – rather than rolling around squirming as she thought of the missed opportunities, she nodded off quickly and napped for a couple of hours, waking up groggy but at least having had the rest. It must be because she felt as if they were getting somewhere, she thought. The idea that Lake would be after Fenhoff was only a theory at this point, but it was a good theory, one that allowed her to take some action. She combed her hair and got dressed in practical trousers with her holster under her jacket, and met the car that would be taking her up to Sing Sing.

“You owe me one, Marge,” said Thompson, as Peggy climbed into another car with him. “The prison’s only got a few girls working for them, mostly nurses and laundry, but they’ve sent them all home until further notice so this Kay can’t slip in among them. They didn’t even want you there but I convinced them we needed you.”

“I’ll remember that,” Peggy promised.

“We’ll have men at all the exits,” Thompson went on, “but I’m gonna put you right next to Fenhoff’s cell. Should be no way she can get that far.”

“Should be.” But if she did, Peggy thought, Miss Lake was going to find herself with quite a bit of explaining to do. Hopefully before turning her over to the men, Peggy could get an opportunity to ask about those bloody numbers.

#fanfic #captain america #agent carter #peggy carter #steve rogers #steggy #fix it fic

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lilulo-12fanfiction · 4 years

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Rain Song- Chapter 2

Here is chapter 2! It’s another long one. It feels a little choppy to me, buuuut, I’m getting there. I don’t normally like to include so much from the original works, I like to create my own original content, but I think for the sake of setting up the rest of the story it’s kind of necessary. Also I had to include my favorite Hufflepuff in this story.

Thank you so much for all of your likes and the few comments I’ve gotten. It gives me motivation to keep going! If you would like to be tagged, please let me know!

Series Masterlist

Harry looked down at the girl he grasped in his hands. This must be her, she must be Hope. She matched Mr. Weasley's description precisely. Pale skin, rather short with curly blonde hair the color of dark thick honey. Well Mr. Weasley didn’t describe her hair quite like that, but all Harry could think of was thick, sweet honey when he looked at her hair. Her shiny spirals hung around her like a lion's mane and was wild in the best way possible. Harry could appreciate someone with wild hair. She had full lips that were parted in surprise. She looked up at him from under her lashes, her gray eyes wide. Mr. & Mrs. Weasley had pulled Harry, Ron & Hermione aside to tell them about Hope. She was starting at Hogwarts this year, but starting in her 3rd year. They mentioned she had been working an independent study as she was unable to attend in her first and second years. Professor Dumbledore had made an exception to allow her to start in the middle of her education. Arthur had mentioned to Harry that like him, Hope had lost both of her parents in the first Wizarding War and they had quite a bit in common. When Harry pushed for more information, Arthur had told him to get to know Hope. He urged him not to push her to open up though; she would need time. It was up to her to share her story with him. She had been in the back of Harry’s mind while Sirius Black claimed his immediate attention.

"I'm sorry!" she exclaimed. A light shade of pink colored her cheeks and he could tell by her expression that something had her spooked. Harry internally groaned, The Boy Who Lived, flashed in his mind. He wanted, just for once, to meet someone who didn’t already who he was. She likely knew all about him and Voldemort while he had just heard of her this morning. "I should really watch where I'm going." She let out a nervous laugh.

"It's alright." Harry smiled. "There's a lot of us barreling into the castle right now." She was studying his face, it was like she was looking into his soul. He had never felt someone's gaze penetrate through him so sharply.

"Are you alright?" Her crystal grey eyes were flooded with concern. Was he alright? He had just passed out on a train after almost being attacked by a Dementor, but he wasn’t going to tell her that though he was positive she’d hear Malfoy making fun of him. Besides the intense embarrassment, he couldn't quite get the screams he heard out of his head. Before he could answer, Professor McGonagall was yelling for him and Hermione.

"Mr. Weasley-" McGonagall gave Ron a pointed look. "Mr. Potter and Ms. Granger will join you in The Great Hall. May I suggest you take Ms. Lupin with you to get settled down for the feast." Harry looked at Hope. Lupin... Professor RJ Lupin. She was related to him the man that had saved him on the train, their new Defense Professor, upon further thought he could see the resemblance between the two. He must be the Uncle that she grew up with. Harry had so many questions for her, but he didn’t know if he even had the right to ask them. Harry realized he was still holding on to her and let her go. She gave him a shy smile and waved at Ron slightly.

"Oi! Hope, it's been a long time. C'mon, we'll go get a seat. The food at the feast is wicked. Fred and George are excited to see you again. Ginny barely remembers you but she’s excited too." Ron gave Harry and Hermione an unsure look as he and Hope headed down to The Great Hall. Ron was curious as to what McGonagall wanted with his two best friends, but he decided to be happy he, for once, wasn't involved. Harry tried to watch the two of them as they walked away but Hermione was pulling him along the corridor to Professor McGonagall's office. ******************************************************************************** Dementors...Dementors on the train, Dementors on Hogwarts Grounds. Was that why Hope had been so sick the past week? The constant dread, desperation and despair she had been feeling would make sense. Was she overly sensitive to them? But then she realized those feelings started before she came to Hogwarts, it had just gotten more intense. Dementors...Dementors after her father. She felt panic rising within. She tried centering herself the way her Uncle had taught her. Dementors on the Hogwarts Express. It had been lucky that her Uncle Remus had ridden the train in. He had pushed them away. She could hear students at the Slytherin table making fun of Harry for passing out. She pursed her lips. Clearly the fools had no idea what being near a Dementor felt like. She knew why Harry had reacted so strongly, he knew emotion pain more than most people their age. Hope knew that many of their peers had lived charmed lives. Dementors fed on fear, Harry had plenty of reasons to be afraid. Her heart sunk again when she thought of her father, surrounded by them for 12 years. She shouldn't feel sorry for him. She should hate him. He killed so many Muggles and her father's best friend. He had abandoned her mother and her cause to side with the darkest wizard they had ever known. Yet it was the stories of his youth that she clung to. He had been a good person. He turned his back on all that Voldemort had believed in. The only person that could give her the answers her heart so desperately craved was her father. He wasn’t exactly accessible. She was jerked out of her own mind as Ron snapped his fingers in front of her face. George and Fred were sitting on each side of her and the 3 freckles boys were looking at her expectantly.

“Wait- what?” Her face flooded with embarrassment.

“We must be so handsome she can’t think straight Fred.”

“I reckon George.” Hope rolled her eyes.

“You two are pathetic.” Ginny scoffed and it made Hope giggle. Fred and George both grinned at Ginny and then Fred shot Hope a wink and she burst out laughing. They had just finished sorting the 1st years. It appeared that Ron was going to re-ask Hope his question as Harry and who Hope assumed was Hermione came rushing in quickly. It didn’t go unnoticed that the students around the hall were whispering about Harry. She could see the discomfort scrawled all over his face. Hermione gave Hope a bright smile.

“Harry, Hermione- this is Hope Lupin.”

“Lupin? Are you related to our new Professor?” Hermione questioned.

“He’s my uncle. He’s a really wonderful teacher. I think you’re going to really like him. I say that from a completely unbiased place. Actually Hermione, we’re meant to be roommates.” Hermione’s face lit up at the idea of having a real friend in the room. She often felt left out with Lavender and Pavarti. Hermione always wanted a really close female friend.

“Well seeing as how our last Professor was a useless lying git and the other was housing Voldemort in the back of his head, I reckon your Uncle won’t have to work hard to win us over.” Hope looked slowly over at Harry and he thought maybe he had offended her until he was a twinkle in her eye.

“What exactly goes on in this school?” Hope’s laugh rang out like a bell and Harry grinned at her.

“We may have some stories.” Hope felt relaxed for the first time in weeks. She glanced up at Remus and he was looking at her fondly. As she shifted her eyes, she saw Severus Snape’s intently watching her. Harry could see the smile melting off of Hope’s face. “What’s wrong.”

“Snape. He’s-“

“A creepy bloke?” Ron offered.

“Why is he staring at me like that?”

“Probably because you’re sitting with me and he hates me.” Harry offered. Hope was about to tell them how uneasy he made her feel when she met with him last week but she was interrupted by Dumbledore.

“Welcome!” said Dumbledore, the candlelight shimmering on his beard. For the short time Hope had known Dumbledore, she realized she could listen to him speak forever. He had such a calming way about him. Harry was watching Hope watch Dumbledore. He could see the admiration in her eyes. The grey simmered into almost a silver color. He wondered if that’s how they always looked when she was content.

“Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! I have a few things to say to you all, and as one of them is very serious, I think it best to get it out of the way before you become befuddled by our excellent feast. . . .” Dumbledore cleared his throat and continued, “As you will all be aware after their search of the Hogwarts Express, our school is presently playing host to some of the dementors of Azkaban, who are here on Ministry of Magic business.” Hope could sense Dumbledore’s displeasure with the presence of the Dementors. She focused her attention on his words.“ They are stationed at every entrance to the grounds,” Dumbledore continued, “and while they are with us, I must make it plain that nobody is to leave school without permission. Dementors are not to be fooled by tricks or disguises — or even Invisibility Cloaks,” he added blandly, and Harry and Ron glanced at each other. “It is not in the nature of a dementor to understand pleading or excuses. I therefore warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. I look to the prefects, and our new Head Boy and Girl, to make sure that no student runs afoul of the dementors,” he said. Hope noticed the look that had pass between Ron and Harry as Harry’s face flushed slightly.

“On a happier note,” he continued, “I am pleased to welcome two new teachers to our ranks this year. “First, Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.” While her Uncle was met with mediocre applause, Hope knew he would soon win them over, he really was a wonderful teacher. She heard Rob whisper about Snape and she flicked her eyes back into his direction. A look of pure loathing had encompassed his face. Hope felt a defensiveness brewing inside of her. Her uneasiness regarding Professor Snape increased ten fold.

She felt Fred bump her shoulder to get her attention. “Don’t worry about Snape. He’s a git.” She looked over at him and he grinned. She felt a crack in the tension she was holding on to and she smiled back. The Gryffindor table erupted into applause as Dumbledore announced their new Magical Creatures Professor.

Hope hadn’t gotten the chance to meet Hagrid as she spent her last week in the hospital wing. Her eyes traveled to his spot at the table. He was at least twice the size of any normal man. He had a mass of wild black hair and beard that made it hard to see his face, but Hope could see his kind eyes and his joyous smile. She was disappointed she didn’t get to meet him yet.

“You’ll love Hagrid.” Hermione smile at Hope.

“I can’t wait to meet him.” Suddenly the golden plates in front of them filled with food. If Hope thought the food while she was here was amazing, she hadn’t seen anything yet. She took her fill of roast chicken and beef, potatoes and enough gravy she could swim in it. She hadn’t realized how ravenous she was. A week of being almost utterly unconscious had that effect. Hope happily stayed silent listening to those around her chatter about their holidays.

As Hope was tucking into her chocolate cake, as a tall and thin red headed boy with an assortment of freckles and horned rimmed glasses approached. Clearly another member of the Weasley clan. His haughtiness radiated from him. “Hello Hope. I’m not if I’d you remember me. I’m Percy Weasley. I am your Gryffindor Head Boy.”

“Merlin Perce! We had NO IDEA you were Head Boy!” George was quick to exclaim sardonically.

“I cannot believe you didn’t mention it at all this summer” Fred interjected. Hope didn’t think Percy’s pinched expression could get any tighter but she was wrong. Harry and Ron were trying not to laugh.

“I mean the red hair did give you away. It’s very nice to see you again Percy.” Hope tried time make him feel better. That seemed to satisfy his irritation, if only slightly.

“I just want you to know that should you need help making sure you abide by the rules of Hogwarts, I’m available. I’m not one to make exceptions for House members. Especially those who don’t think the rules apply to them.” She watched as Percy’s glare traveled between the twins, Harry and Ron.

“I will...keep that in mind. I did spend the last two weeks here with Professor McGonagall so she could get me up to speed. Should I find myself unsure, I’ll make sure I find you.”

“Excellent.” He turned on his heel and headed back to where he came from. Fred and George were beside themselves with laughter.

“He’s such an uptight git. Did you see how he was looking at us!” Ron was incredulous.

“I dunno Ron. I’ve only been with you lot for a couple of hours and I feel like his assessment might have been earned.” Harry could listen to Hope’s loud and barky laugh all night. It consumed her completely.

“She’s not wrong.” Harry shrugged.

“Yeah alright.” Ron agreed with a laugh.

“I’m really looking forward to hearing more stories.” Hopes eyes gleamed. Harry was anxious to get to know more about Hope. He wanted to ask her how exactly they were connected and why she hadn’t attended Hogwarts for their first two years. He didn’t want to ask in front of everyone else. He watched as she stood. “I’m going to go see my Uncle, he’s just left the teacher’s table. I’ll see you guys back in the common room. They all waved as she headed down the length of the table and out of the hall.

“She seems really great.” Hermione chirped. “I’m excited to get to know her.”

“She may give you a run for your money Hermione . Dad says she’s ruddy brilliant, especially in charms” Ron raised his eyebrows in challenge at Hermione.

“Well good! Maybe I’ll finally have someone that can keep up with me academically!” Hermione jumped from the table and stalked out of the hall. Harry groaned in response. They hadn’t been back at Hogwarts for a full day yet and Ron and Hermione were already at it.

“C’mon Ron, let’s go.” Harry stood and the two friends headed out of the Great Hall to the Gryffindor common room, Harry’s thoughts firmly on the mystery that was Hope Lupin.

********************************************************************************

Hope hurried down the corridors to get to her Uncle’s office. She wanted to hear more about the dementors and see him before class tomorrow.

“Excuse me, Ms. Lupin, you’re headed in the wrong direction. Your house common room is the other way.” Hope stopped in her tracks at the cold sound of Severus Snape’s voice.

“I’m stopping down to see my Uncle before curfew. I was unable to speak with him before the feast.” Snape’s penetrating gaze caused a shiver down her spine.

“Very well. Just know that just because your Uncle is on the staff at Hogwarts it does not mean you will get preferential treatment.”

“Sir, I would never ask for such a thing. In all honesty I just want to be treated like everyone else.” Snape considered her.

“And yet, you immediately made friends with Harry Potter.” Hope’s face contorted.

“I know the Weasley family. They happen to be friends with Harry. And I’m sure that you know that Lily Potter and MY mother were quite close.” Snape studied her for a moment. She may look like a carbon copy of her mother, but the defiance burning in her eyes was that of Sirius Black.

“You better move along or you will break your curfew.” Hope didn’t give it a second thought as she hurried down the hall. She didn’t like how Snape studied her. She felt like she was underneath a microscope. She approached her Uncle’s door and knocked loudly. She heard him yell to come in and she swung the door open. He was in the midst of unpacking his belongings.

“Uncle Remus!” She exclaimed and ran into his embrace. He held her tightly for a moment and then pulled back to study her.

“You had me so worried. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes, yes I’m fine. Whatever Professor Snape brought me seemed to help. I actually slept last night without any dreams. Dumbledore mentioned that it wasn’t something I could take all of the time. Which is a shame.” Remus smiled.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better. I’m not sure what the potion was exactly but I’m happy it helped. I wanted so badly to get here and be with you.”

“Uncle Remus I was asleep most of the time. You wouldn’t have been able to do anything. I’m fine now. Please don’t worry.” Remus looked down at her fondly. “I missed you very much.”

“I missed you too. Thank you so much for the Owl. I’ve named it Nox. I thought it was fitting.”

“You’re very welcome. I’m glad to see you fitting in with your housemates.” Her smile was glowing. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw her this happy, but it had been a while.

“Oh! The Dementors!” She exclaimed. “I can’t believe they were on the train. It must have been awful. Harry was lucky you were with them. Do- do you think their presence could be what caused me to have such a horrible reaction?” Remus considered this for a moment. He could only wish that was the reason, any alternative wasn’t something he liked. His fear was that it was Sirius that was causing her issues. The darkness she continued to see, her more morose attitude since he had escaped caused Remus great concern. Her eyes were brighter and she seemed back to her lighter demeanor. No doubt Snape’s potion was responsible for that.

“It could be. We can’t be sure. We’ll just have to take it one day at a time. If you start feeling that badly you must tell me at once.”

“It was strange, it came on really strong. I could feel a headache approaching after my session with Professor Snape, but it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. I just assumed that I would have a nasty headache the next day. But then it took me over and I was so sick. It was quite awful. But Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore were wonderful. As was Madam Pomfrey. Even Professor Snape showed concern. Once I could eat the House Elves were thrilled to have someone to tend to.”

“I had no doubt that you were in excellent hands.” He watched as something passed through Hope’s eyes. “What is it darling?”

“Professor Dumbledore brought me a couple of pictures. There was one of you and Mum while you were at Hogwarts. It’s a lovely picture. Then there was another.” She looked down for a moment and looked back up at Remus. He gave her a moment to collect her thoughts. “I was sitting with Lily and Harry was with my mother. James and my father were standing behind us. We all looked so happy.” Hope looked deflated. Remus knew the exact photo she was referring to. Nora had it in a frame on a bookshelf. Albus must have gone to her home after he delivered Harry to the Dursley home. It was like Albus to save things he thought Hope might want later on. Remus hadn’t been able to renter Nora’s home after she died. Albus and some of the remaining Order members had done it for him. He wondered what else Dumbledore had stashed. Remus flooded with concern as he saw Hope’s grey eyes water.

“What is it darling?” He was questioning Dumbledore’s timing of the picture.

“I just...I can reconcile the man from that photo and the mass murder that everyone is so scared of. I just want to know what happened. I need to know what made him do what he did. He loved us. I could see it in his eyes in that picture. I just wish I could talk to him, just once.” He watched as she closed her eyes for a moment. Remus felt alarm bells ringing in his brain. He pulled Hope over to the chairs in his office and sat her down. He took the seat across from her and she watches as he leaned forward, his head in his hands. When he finally looked up at her, she saw his eyes filled with fear.

“Hope- I know this is difficult. Merlin knows that I know. I have the same questions that you have. I would give anything to get the answers not only for you, but for myself too. You MUST promise me that you will NOT go looking for your father. He is dangerous. I don’t know what kind of state that he is in, but 12 years in Azkaban surrounded by dementors? I cant imagine he is stable.”

“Uncle Remus-“ Hope started but he stopped her.

“PROMISE ME!” Hope jumped. In her almost 14 years of life she couldn’t remember him ever yelling at her.

“Okay, I promise!” She blinked back tears. She wouldn’t even know how to find her father. It wasn’t like she’d be leaving castle grounds any time soon anyway.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t allow you to get hurt. I wouldn’t survive if something happened to you. I’m afraid I need you just as much as you need me.” Hope felt guilt flood her. This man gave up his whole life to take care of her. He loved her so much. Not one day in her life did she feel like the orphan she was.

“Uncle Remus you will not lose me. I promise that I won’t do anything reckless. I just, I guess I can’t help but to be curious.”

“I know darling, I know.” He went to say more but there was another knock at the door. Remus stood and walked over and opened the door.

“Good evening Professor Lupin, Professor McGonagall asked me to come fetch Hope so she was back in time for curfew. She apologizes for interrupting.” Hermione stood on the other side of the door.

“Of course, of course. Do you mind giving us just. moment?” Hermione nodded. Remus walked back over to Hope, who was now standing.

“We can talk more about this tomorrow.” The tension in his voice had melted a away.

“I don’t think there is much more to discuss. It’s alright. Please don’t worry Uncle Remus. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay darling. Go back to your common room and get some rest I’ll see you tomorrow.” Hope hugged him one more time and felt him kiss the top of her head.”

“Good night.” She quickly headed out into the hall to meet Hermione.

“Ready?” Hope smiled and Hermione nodded. “So what are Lavender and Pavarti like?”

“They’re...fine...the two of them are very close. They’re best friends.” Hermione’s voice was clipped. Hope scrunched her forehead. Clearly there must have been some strain in the relationship between her new roommates. Hope stopped walking and took Hermione’s wrist.

“Hermione, I’ve- I’ve never had any true friends. I grew up in a predominantly muggle town. It was on the beach so most of the kids only came in the summer. There were a handful of kids who lived there all year ‘round. But I was always the weird girl that was homeschooled and spent all of her time drawing. I’d- I’d really like it if we could try to be friends.” Hermione beamed at her. There was something about Hermione that set Hope at ease. That was one of the best things about being what she was, she could almost always tell if someone was trustworthy or not.

“I would really like that. If I’m being honest, I don’t always have the easiest time making friends. Harry and Ron are my best friends, but it would be really nice to have a close girlfriend.” Hope linked her arm through Hermione’s.

“It’s settled then. We’ll be best girlfriends and you can tell me about all of the ridiculous things Ron and Harry have done. I’ve known Ron for a long time, so I can only imagine.” Hermione laughed along with Hope, feeling lighter than she had earlier in the evening.

********************************************************************************

Everything had been a whirlwind after Hope and Hermione had returned to the Gryffindor common room. Once they arrived, they had said a quick goodnight to Ron and Harry and hurried off to bed. They spent breakfast the next morning consoling Harry over Malfoy’s jeers. Hope looked at Malfoy curiously. Tonks was right on her assessment of him. Though Hope did enjoy hearing about how he ran and hid from the dementors in George and Fred’s compartment. Then there had been Divinations. Sybil Trewlawney was a hack and Hope was insulted by her farce of a class. The whole set up was a joke. While she possibly had a small talent in sight, any Seer worth their salt didn’t behave that way. But announcing that Harry’s tea leaves showed a Grimm had their entire class on edge. McGonagall was trying to show off her Animagus form, but no one seemed to care. Hope had taken the seat next to Harry. She could see he was nervous, she bumped his shoulder with hers and smiled at him to try and make him feel better. His return smile didn't reach his eyes. She knew his thoughts were on her father. Arthur Weasley had told him that Sirius Black was most likely trying to find Harry to kill him as he was in the way of Voldemort's return.

“Really, what has got into you all today?” said Professor McGonagall, turning back into herself with a faint pop and staring around at them all. “Not that it matters, but that’s the first time my transformation’s not got applause from a class.” Hope smirked. Professor McGonagall was definitely going to be her favorite teacher. Everybody’s heads turned toward Harry again, but nobody spoke. Then Hermione raised her hand.

“Please, Professor, we’ve just had our first Divination class, and we were reading the tea leaves, and —”

“Ah, of course,” said Professor McGonagall, suddenly frowning. “There is no need to say any more, Miss Granger. Tell me, which of you will be dying this year?” Everyone stared at her. Hope could barely contain her laughter at this point. The Sardonic expression on McGonagall's face was too perfect.

“Me,” said Harry, finally as he slumped in his chair.

“I see,” said Professor McGonagall, “Then you should know, Potter, that Sybill Trelawney has predicted the death of one student a year since she arrived at this school. None of them has died yet. Seeing death omens is her favorite way of greeting a new class. If it were not for the fact that I never speak ill of my colleagues —” Hope quirked an eyebrow as Professor McGonagall broke off, and she saw that her nostrils had gone white. She went on, more calmly, “Divination is one of the most imprecise branches of magic. I shall not conceal from you that I have very little patience with it. True Seers are very rare, and Professor Trelawney —” When she mentioned True Seers being rare her gaze fixed on Hope. Hope could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. She stopped again, and then said, in a very matter-of-fact tone, “You look in excellent health to me, Potter, so you will excuse me if I don’t let you off homework today. I assure you that if you die, you need not hand it in.” Hope could'nt contain herself anymore, her barky laugh echoed throughout the room, which apparently had pleased Professor McGonagall. Harry seemed to lighted slightly. Hope felt Harry's eyes on her and she glanced in his directions.

"Are you okay? You look kind of flushed."

"What? Oh, yes I'm fine. I guess I'm just a little warm, that's all." Hope turned her attention back to Professor McGonagall, feeling Harry's eyes linger on her for a few moments longer.

Later that evening, Hope sat in the common room looking into the fire. The calmness of her mind had ebbed and flowed back into liquid filled black and anguish. Snape's potion had started to wear off. She had a headache. Transfiguration had been followed by a lunch where Hermione and Ron had argued back and forth about how reliable Trewlawney and Divination was. Harry had apparently seen a black dog so Ron was convinced he was going to die. Hope had been slightly wounded by some of the things Hermione had said about Divination. Would she think Hope was a hack if she found out? Would she still want to be friends with her? Hope rubbed the spot in between her eyebrows trying to assuage her headache.

Care of Magical Creatures had included sniping between Harry and Malfoy, Buckbeak the beautiful Hippogriff and then Malfoy getting himself attacked by it. '"My father will hear about this" echoed in her brain. It didn't bode well for Hagrid or Buckbeak. She had wanted to punch Malfoy for his making fun of Harry and the dementors, but she didn't want to tangle with Malfoy if it could be avoided. At least Buckbeak got a few hits in. The stress of Hagrid's class had carried over to dinner. Harry, Hermione and Ron had gone to see Hagrid. Hope had opted to stay behind even after the three begged her to go and meet Hagrid. She really wasn't feeling well and needed a break from the bickering.

Her thoughts traveled back to her father. She was still unsure about what she was feeling. She had the picture of her and Harry's family in her hand. He seemed so carefree, and happy. Hope was obsessed with figuring out what exactly had gone wrong. She couldn't stand it. Hope slid the picture into her Transfiguration book when she heard the portrait swing open. Dean Thomas had stepped through.

"Uh...Hope...there's someone outside for you." Hope's brow furrowed. Who would be coming to see her that couldn't enter the Griffyndor common room? She didn't really have any friends yet outside of her housemates.

"Thanks Dean." She slid her Transfiguration book into her bag and left it next to her chair. She made her way to the portrait and slowly climbed out. Standing there was a tall and extremely handsome young man with chiseled features, dark hair, and bright blue-grey eyes. Hope felt something bubble within her stomach.

"Hey Hope." The boy had one of the most charming smiles she had ever seen, as it reached his eyes, the skin around them crinkled. "I'm Cedric Diggory. Madam Hooch asked me to give you some flying lessons. She said you've never been on a broom before?"

"That's correct. And I would really appreciate any lessons." Hope was willing herself not to blush, but she knew it was a futile attempt. His eyes bore into hers and she swore she could drown in them. They reminded her of the ocean back home.

"Excellent. Tomorrow afternoon? Meet me on the training grounds. We can have our first lesson before my Quidditch practice."

"Sounds good." Hope glanced away from a moment, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I'll see you tomorrow then, nice meeting you." He reached out and squeezed her upper arm so she would make eye contact again and delivered his million dollar smile. "Goodnight Hope."

"Night Cedric..." Her voice trailed off. As she was watching him walk away, Harry, Hermione and Ron were heading towards her. Harry had a pinched expression.

"Your face is all red again Hope." He commented and Hermione grinned like a Cheshire cat.

"That's because she was talking to Cedric." Hermione teased.

"What did he want?" Ron had crossed his arms in front of him. Hope cleared her throat.

"Madam Hooch asked Cedric to give me flying lessons."

“Why wouldn’t she just ask Harry? He’s in your house and is the best flyer at the school.” Ron gave Hope an accusatory look which caused her to extensively roll her eyes.

“Maybe she heard about Trelawney’s prediction and is afraid he’ll be dead by then.” Hope threw her arms up. Harry started laughing. “I don’t bloody know! I was too sick mysecond week here to meet with her myself.” Hope realized what she had said but it was too late to take it back.

“Sick? Sick with what?” Harry’s face flooded with concern. Hope sighed, her loose lips would cause her to lie to her new friends again.

“I just- I get bad headaches. Potions don’t really help. I had a nasty few days before school started. That’s all. Can we go in?” Hope hurried into the common room, missing the looks shared between the three and their silent communication that signaled that they didn’t exactly believe her.

The next day had been another hectic day. Potions had been awful. Snape, ever the menace, had terrorized poor Neville. Hope and Hermione had gotten in trouble for helping Neville fix his potion so Snape wouldn’t poison his poor toad. But the things that Draco had said to needle Harry were fresh in her mind. Hope continued to question why Harry would want revenge on her father? Was there something else she didn’t know or what it just Draco being a jerk? Both possibilities were likely, It was hard to tell. She didn’t want to ask Remus. She didn’t know if he would be truthful. She was extremely proud of him though. He had knocked the Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson out of the park. Snape dressed like Neville’s gran was the highlight of the class, though Hope was sure that it would get back to Snape and Neville would b e made to pay for it. It didn’t go unnoticed by her that he prevented not only Harry but also herself from facing the Boggart. No one seemed to notice his was the full moon. Hope thought on what her boggart would be. At first, she thought it would be her father, but deep down, she knew it was herself. She was terrified of who she would become.

“You shouldn’t take your flying lesson so seriously.” Hope hadn’t even heard Cedric approach. She really had to stop getting so lost in herself, this was not the first time today someone had caught her off guard. She had missed a whole monologue of Hermione’s as she was focused on the images in her mind. Black painted canvases with slashed through it.

“Sorry, I was just overthinking.”

“You seem to do that a lot.” Cedric has his hand on the back of his neck as he looked down at her.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“You seem to get wrapped up in your own thoughts in the Great Hall. I pay attention.” Hope found herself trying to stifle another blush.

“I didn’t think I was so interesting.”

“You’re very interesting. You just don’t pay enough attention to realize it.” She scoffed. Cedric decided to not continue to push. “Your Uncle is a bloody brilliant teacher.” Hope beamed at his comment.

“Isn’t he?”

“I mean we’ve had some bad defense professors.” Hope’s laugh filled the air.

“So I’ve heard.” Cedric smiled brightly.

“You should do that more often. Your laugh is incredible.” Was he flirting with her? Hope grew slightly sheepish.

“Thanks Cedric.” There was absolutely no way her face wasn’t flaming red at this point.

“You’re welcome. So, let’s get started yeah?”

Cedric managed to teach her to get the broom in her hand, mount it and slightly hover above the ground. Actually taking off wasn’t going to happen. She was too nervous. Cedric made her nervous. Being up in the air was also terrifying to her.

“C’mon Hope...where’s that Griffyndor courage I hear so much about, eh?” He was standing behind her and whispered it in her ear. She felt goose bumps erupt over her skin. She was not about tolet some boy get the best of her. She elbowed him in the stomach, not too hard, but enough to throw him off his game.

“Oh shut It Diggory.” She spun around with a hand on her hip starring him down as he was slightly hunched over from her elbow to the stomach, but he was laughing.

“Oi, Hope! Are you guys almost done? I’ll wait for you so we can head back to the common room together.” Harry came jogging over, glancing between Hope and Cedric. His messy hair still damp from the showers after Quidditch practice. Hope was grateful for the interruption. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Cedric Diggory as of yet. While he was certainly handsome and very charming, but he was probably like that with every girl he spoke to. She wasn’t about to let herself fall into that.

“Am I done Diggory?”

“Actually yes, I think that’s enough for today. We’ll try again next week.” Cedric has straightened up since Harry had come over. “Have a good night Lupes.” The nick name hung in the air as he clapped Harry on the shoulder and headed towards the Quidditch pitch to start his practice. Harry had his eyebrows raised.

“Lupes?”

“Cedric thinks he’s cute.” Hope make an exaggerated eye roll. Harry was starting to like that expression as much as her smile.

“Do you think he’s cute.” Hope scoffed and shoved Harry slightly.

“Oh shut it.” She linked her arm in is. “C’mon, lets walk to the common room, you can tell me all about your Quidditch practice.

“Alright.” Harry gave Hope a slight smile and tried to ignore that she didn’t answer his question. He liked spending time with Hope, she was captivating, smart and really witty. He wished she would open up more. He knew she was guarded. He knew there was something she wasn’t telling him. He didn’t think he liked her, liked her. But he also didn’t like the idea of her hanging out with Cedric. Cedric could win anyone over. She was laughing as he was giving her his best Oliver Wood impression as they approached the common room. Everyone was excited over Hogsmeade weekend. Hope bumped her shoulder into Harry’s as she often did to get his attention. She could see his good mood had deflated.

“If you can’t go, I’ll stay back with you.” Hope offered. She really didn't even mind, she liked hanging out with Harry. While Hogsmeade would be fun, she didn't want him to be alone.

“Hope, you don’t have to do that. You shouldn’t be stuck here because I can’t go.”

“It’s not a big deal. I only really want to go to Honey Dukes. I’m dying to stock up on some candy. I have a killer sweet tooth.”

“I hadn’t noticed.” Harry smirked at her. Hopes diet consisted of at least one piece of chocolate cake a day. She was always snacking on something sweet. She shot him a glare.

“Git...” They both laughed. “I mean it, I can literally just give Hermione a list and some money. I know she’ll get everything.”

“Maybe McGonagall will say I can go if I talk to her about explain about my Uncle.” Though Harry knew neither he or Hope really believed that she would. The rest of the evening was filled with homework and Ron and Hermione arguing over Crookshanks. It ended ubruptly with the cat trying to attack Ron’s rat. The tension between them carried on into the next day.

****************************************************************************

”Really Harry! I don’t mind staying behind with you.” Hope felt awful. Harry had been bummed out for days. As expected, McGonagall had shot him down.

“If you stay behind, I’ll just feel worse. Go, really, it’ll be fine." He gave her a light shove towards Ron and Hermione. “I’ll see you for the feast” he yelled after her. Harry didn’t want to ruin her day at Hogsmeade. She had missed out on her first two years at Hogwarts, he didn’t want her to miss this. Hope had become very good friends with Harry, Ron and Hermione. Harry liked how close she and Hermione had gotten. He knew it was good for both of them. There was still something she was holding back, he knew it, they all knew it. They also knew she wasn't ready to tell them everything yet. As much has Harry wanted to sit her down and beg her to spill her guts, he refrained. Arthur Weasley's advice to let her open up in her own time still rang in his mind. They did, however, ask why she hadn't started at Hogtwarts with them. She had told them that her grandfather had been seriously ill when they were in their first and second years at Hogwarts. She had decided to stay with him and Remus as she knew he was close to passing.. He had died half way through their second year. That summer, Dumbledore had suggested that both Remus and Hope come to Hogwarts. Something about the story seemed off to Harry, but he didn’t know how to bring it up. Harry headed back to the common room, contemplating the mystery that was Hope Lupin.

Hope walked arm in arm with Hermione and Ron, guilt flooding her. She hated leaving Harry behind. Ron tried to reassure her that everything would be okay. He didn't like leaving Harry behind either, but his friend was too proud to be okay with them not going and staying with him.

“He’ll be alright. We’ll bring him back loads of stuff.” Ron quipped. Hope tried to put her guilt to the back of her mind. She was happy to be going. Truth be told, she wasn’t sure Remus would even let her. Her father had been sighted by a muggle not that long ago and she was worried he would want to keep her on the castle grounds. Hope felt another twinge of guilt. This time because she still hadn’t told her 3 friends the truth about who she really was. The guilt was eating away at her. She just couldn't find the right time, or the right words. She could imagine Harry's eyes filling with disgust at the blood that ran through her veins. She knew she would have to tell them eventually. She hated lying and she really wasn't great at it either.

They went from shop to shop. The three had decided to hit Honeydukes last so they could bring Harry a bunch of treats and not have to carry them all throughout Hogsmeade. After a considerable amount of time with George and Fred in Zonko’s Joke Shop; Ron, Hermione and Hope made their way to The Three Broomsticks. As they walked in, it was packed with Hogwarts students and members of the magical community alike. They had been sitting at a table enjoying their butter beers when the chatter started. The words came swooping around Hope and overwhelmed her. “Sirius Black is a murderer. Sirius Black wants to kill Harry Potter. Sirius Black is a monster. He’s Dangerous. Muggle Killer. Death Eater.”

Hope got up quickly and bolted out the door. The pain on her head had been a minor irritation as of late, even if the blackness still swirled about. Hearing her fathers name over and over like a chant and everything the had done had been too much. It felt like her skull was splitting in two. She made her way over to a bench at an empty area near the pub and sank down. She couldn’t do this anymore. It was too hard. Hope felt a wave of intense sadness push through her. As she looked up and blinked back her tears, she could have sworn she saw a black dog in the distance, but when she wiped her eyes there was nothing there.

“Hope! There you are! What’s wrong? And don’t say nothing!” Ron sat down next to her, soon followed by Hermione.

“I can’t.” She shook her head started to cry. “You’ll hate me. Harry will hate me too.” Hermione wrapped her arms around her friend.

“You are our friend. We couldn’t ever hate you.” She tried to comfort Hope. “Seriously Hope, you’re one of us.”

“You- you cant tell Harry. I have to tell him on my own.”

“We won’t.” Ron jumped in. Hermione nodded in agreement.

“I- Sirius Black is my father.” Hermione and Ron both froze for a moment. They knew she was keeping some secrets, but neither one of them had expected that. No one ever mentioned Sirius Black having a child. Hope took a deep breath and blurted out everything. Who her mother was, what her mother was, what Hope was. How her Uncle had given up his life to take care of her. How he kept her from Hogwarts to protect her, terrified that Voldemort's followers would come looking for her too.

“You’re, you’re a Seer?” was the first thing Hermione could ask. “Merlin Hope! I’m so sorry. I said all of those horrible things about Divination." Hermione felt absolutely awful. She knew there were actual seers, but that class was just so ridiculous. Never in a million years did Hermione think she knew a seer. The regret was painted all over Hermione's face.

“No Hermione don’t apologize - that class is awful. My mother was never like that. I’m not like that. I don’t know if I’m a ‘true seer’ like McGonagall said. I don’t get clear visions yet. But my mother...she was the real deal. That’s why they killed her. Because she wouldn’t help Voldemort.” Hermione still had her arm wrapped around Hope. “You don’t hate me because my father is a murderer? They say-“

“They say a lot of things Hope. It doesn’t matter. It’s not your fault what he did. You’re a good person and a good friend. That’s what matters. That’s all that will matter to Harry.” Ron offered her a smile.

“You think so?”

“Definitely. C’mon- let’s hit Honeydukes before we have to go back.”

“Hope, just, tell Harry soon. He’d want to hear it from you.” Hermione helped Hope to her feet. She knew a secret like this could crack wide open. Harry wouldn't be upset that she was the daughter of Sirius Black, he would be upset if Hope didn't tell him and he found out that Ron and Hermione knew.

“I will. I promise.”

“A nasty temper he’s got...that Sirius Black” They had been having a perfectly lovely evening at the feast, Hope laughing audibly about the idea of Snape openly poisoning her Uncle, pointing out how ridiculous Harry and Ron were being. They enjoyed the wonderful food at the feast and told Ron stories of what Muggle Halloween was like. Now they were standing in front of the Gryffindor Common Room with the Fat Lady’s portrait slashed by her father. Hope had unknowingly gripped Harry’s hand. Harry had assumed she was just scared at the prospect of Sirius Black being in the castle.

"It'll be okay. We'll be safe." Harry had whispered in Hope's ear. If he only knew why she was so freaked out. She had wanted to tell him tonight, but now, there was no way. The entire student body was being whisked away to The Great Hall while the teachers searched the school. She hadn’t even gotten to speak with her Uncle. They had locked eyes, concern flooding his face, but now he was gone. Harry, Hope, Ron and Hermione had pulled their sleeping bags over to a corner. Percy’s “holier than thou” attitude grating on their nerves

All around them, people were asking one another the same question: “How did he get in?” “Maybe he knows how to Apparate,” said a Ravenclaw a few feet away. “Just appear out of thin air, you know.” “Disguised himself, probably,” said a Hufflepuff fifth year. “He could’ve flown in,” suggested Dean Thomas.

Hope's headache was overtaking her again. She was afraid she was going to get sick like she had prior to the start of the term. She felt frantic. She had to figure out how to get clear visions like her mother had. Maybe if she could really figure out how to use her Seer abilities, she wouldn't feel so awful all of the time. But who was there for her to go to? Trewlawney? That was a joke. Hope could feel Harry's eyes on her, but she didn't dare make any sort of eye contact with him. Luckily Hermione went on a rant that distracted them all.

“Honestly, am I the only person who’s ever bothered to read Hogwarts: A History?” said Hermione crossly to Harry and Ron.

“Probably,” said Ron. “Why?”

“Because the castle’s protected by more than walls, you know,” said Hermione. “There are all sorts of enchantments on it, to stop people entering by stealth. You can’t just Apparate in here. And I’d like to see the disguise that could fool those dementors. They’re guarding every single entrance to the grounds. They’d have seen him fly in too. And Filch knows all the secret passages, they’ll have them covered. . . .”

“The lights are going out now!” Percy shouted. “I want everyone in their sleeping bags and no more talking!” Hope was grateful for the silence. She was laying on her stomach in between Harry and Hermione. She was taking deep breaths to calm the anxiety pumping through her veins. She could sense the blackness ready to take over once again. She snapped her eyes open when she felt someone place their hand over hers. Harry's green eyes were staring back, filled with concern.

"You okay?" He mouthed to her, not wanting to draw Percy's attention. She nodded her head. He squeezed her hand to reassure her. She expected him to pull it away, but he didn't. She felt guilt flooding back in. He had been such a good friend to her since she got to Hogwarts and all she had done was lie to him. If Percy wasn't such an annoying git she could have pulled him to a back corner of The Great Hall and told him everything. Instead, they laid in silence with his hand over hers. He was trying to comfort her while every knew that the reason Sirius Black had come to Hogwarts was to get to him. Hope couldn’t help but wonder if he was there to see her too. The idea that he was only there to murder a teenage boy and not to see his daughter was too much for her to bear.

Once every hour, a teacher would reappear in the hall to check that everything was quiet. Around three in the morning, when many students had finally fallen asleep, Professor Dumbledore came in. Harry and Hope watched him looking around for Percy, who had been prowling between the sleeping bags, telling people off for talking. Percy was only a short way away from Harry and Hope who quickly pretended to be asleep as Dumbledore’s footsteps drew nearer.

“Any sign of him, Professor?” asked Percy in a whisper.

“No. All well here?”

“Everything under control, sir.”

“Good. There’s no point moving them all now. I’ve found a temporary guardian for the Gryffindor portrait hole. You’ll be able to move them back in tomorrow.”

“And the Fat Lady, sir?”

“Hiding in a map of Argyllshire on the second floor. Apparently she refused to let Black in without the password, so he attacked. She’s still very distressed, but once she’s calmed down, I’ll have Mr. Filch restore her.” They heard the door of the hall creak open again, and more footsteps.

“Headmaster?” It was Snape. Harry kept quite still, listening hard. “The whole of the third floor has been searched. He’s not there. And Filch has done the dungeons; nothing there either.”

“What about the Astronomy Tower? Professor Trelawney’s room? The Owlery?” “All searched . . .”

“Very well, Severus. I didn’t really expect Black to linger.”

“Have you any theory as to how he got in, Professor?” asked Snape.

“Many, Severus, each of them as unlikely as the next.”

“You remember the conversation we had, Headmaster, just before — ah — the start of term?” said Snape, who was barely opening his lips, as though trying to block Percy out of the conversation.

“I do, Severus,” said Dumbledore, and there was something like warning in his voice.

“It seems — almost impossible — that Black could have entered the school without inside help. I did express my concerns when you appointed —” Hope felt red hot anger pulse through veins. She knew exactly what Severus Snape was referring to. There was no way that her Uncle would help Sirius Black get into the castle. It was taking all of her self control to not jump up and scream at him.

“I do not believe a single person inside this castle would have helped Black enter it,” said Dumbledore, and his tone made it so clear that the subject was closed that Snape didn’t reply. “I must go down to the dementors,” said Dumbledore. “I said I would inform them when our search was complete.”

“Didn’t they want to help, sir?” said Percy.

“Oh yes,” said Dumbledore coldly. “But I’m afraid no dementor will cross the threshold of this castle while I am headmaster.”

******************************************************************************

It had been two weeks since Sirius Black broke into Hogwarts. Hope was leaning against the tree in front of the Black Lake furiously sketching. It was cold, but sunny and she missed sitting near the water. She desperately wanted her music. She couldn't figure out why her Discman wouldn’t work until Hermione explained muggle technology wouldn't work at Hogwarts because of all the magic. She had all but thrown it out the window. The itch in the back of her head ever present, she was desperate for her music to soothe her.

She had been very quiet since Halloween night, withdrawn almost. Hope had avoided being alone with Harry since the night Sirius broke into the castle. Hermione was urging her to tell Harry every day since and Hope had every intention of telling him on Halloween. Now, the longer she didn't tell him, the easier it was to keep the secret. Her Uncle had noticed the change in her, but she refused to talk about it. She had been pushing him away as well, something she had never done before. Even the other students could see the crack in their relationship. While he never showed Hope favoritism, their closeness was always apparent, She didn't want to talk to Remus about her father. She knew he wasn't being entirely honest and she didn't want to blow up at him. She didn't want to hear about how she couldn't go and search for him again, even if she wanted to, it would be impossible. The entire staff at Hogwarts had been put on red alert. She noticed teachers, prefects and Percy Weasley lurking around Hope and Harry frequently. The fact that she had gotten away to get some time alone at the black lake was astonishing. She had even blown off her flying lessons with Cedric, he tried to coax her out of her morose attitude but she completely shut him down. He had relented and said that he would be in touch to reschedule her lessons. He had a feeling it wouldn't be happening any time soon. Hope's ears perked up and she slammed the cover to her sketch book closes when she hears footsteps approaching. Before she could move another muscle, Harry was standing in front of her.

”Hey- hey Harry. I th-thought you had Quidditch practice.” she stumbled through the sentence, not prepared in the slightest to speak with him.

”Yeah I lied. You've been avoiding me and the only way you'd let your guard down and not hide from me is if you thought I was busy. Did I do something to upset you? You can just tell me, I wouldn't do it intentionally.” Hope took a deep breath and pat the grass next to her. Harry gratefully took a seat. ”Tell me what’s wrong.” His green eyes were pleading.

”You’re right. I've been avoiding you, but you didn't do anything wrong. It's me. I- I haven't been honest. I was going to tell you on Halloween, but then everything that happened ruined the chance and I've been avoiding it ever since.” Harry knew you had been holding back but he didn't want to interrupt you. ”My father is Sirius Black.” Harry blinked. He certainly hadn't been expecting that. ”He and my mother met at Hogwarts. She was a year younger than my Uncle Remus, she and my father met when she was sorted into Gryffindor. They fell in love and for a while they fought Voldemort together.” It didn't go unnoticed that she said Voldemort's name without even a flinch, Remus had done the same thing. Hope paused for a moment to collect herself. ”I-I don't know what happened. Everyone that knew him said that he rejected Voldemort's beliefs. He was this charismatic and charming boy. That he loved my mother and his friends fiercely. He was a Gryffindor through and through. The happiest he had ever been was when my mother was pregnant with me. They had been so happy, HE had been so happy. Then on the night that the Death Eaters killed my mother, he killed all of those muggles. And now he apparently is after you.” Hope was teetering on the edge of hysterical.

”Hope- why we're you afraid to tell me?” Harry didn't know what else to say to her. It was no wonder she was keeping that close to the vest. He knew that some of the other students wouldn't react favorably.

”I was afraid you’d hate me. Everyone- my uncle, Dumbledore, Fudge, they all think that it's better that no one knows. Not everyone knew that Sirius Black had a child. I was born in the middle of a war and my parents wanted to keep me safe, so very few knew. But I couldn't not tell you guys, you're my friends. I don't want to keep lying to you.”

”You told the other two already. That's why its everything has been so weird since then” Hope nodded.

”When we were in Hogsmeade. I didn't even plan on telling them. There were so many people talking about him at the Three Broomsticks and I just got so upset. I had to tell them at that point. Harry, I-I swear I was going to tell you that night and then after everything that happened...I just got really scared again.” Hope felt Harry slip his arm around her as she cried with her face in her hands.

”Hope, it's okay. Listen, loads of kids have parents that were involved with Voldemort. You're not responsible for what he did.”

”There’s more.” Hope took a few deep breaths to calm herself. ”Voldemort went after my mother for her specific skill set. Skills she passed on to me.”

”Hope, you're killing me with the suspense.” Harry joked. He saw a little smile crack through her tears.

”My mother was a seer. A true seer. Nothing like the rubbish Trewlawney spouts. She was excellent Harry. He wanted her to help him win the war. Instead of being with us, my father was out doing his bidding. My mother begged Remus to get me to safety. She stayed behind to hold them off. She knew she was going to die. She died for me.” Harry felt awful. He didn't know what to say to make her feel better, how do you make someone feel better about that?

”Wait, so you can see the future?” Hope scoffed.

”Not exactly. It's a skill you have to work at. I see flashes of things, but it's hard to pick out what will happen from what could happen. Most of what I see right now is about myself, people that are connected to me or people that I've come into contact with. I sometimes can get flashes of a person's memory. It's not all of the time. I've learned how to kind of block that. It was harder when I was a kid. My mother learned how to hone her abilities on her own. She was truly amazing from what I've been told. There must have been a seer in our family at some point. I, apparently, am not as good as my mother. I just can’t figure it out.”

“What is it like?”

“It-it’s...you know Muggle puzzles? It’s like someone dumped all of the pieces into a pile and I’m trying to put it together, but I don’t have the picture on the box to guide me. It’s just a jumbled mess. I get a lot of headaches. Nasty ones.”

“Is that why you were sick before the start of term?” Hope nodded her head.

“Since my father’s escape, all I can see is darkness, blackness. I get these intense feelings of anger- rage almost, sadness, anxiety, horrible depression, but it’s as if someone turned out the lights. Except one night. I saw a flash of purple and then a pair of eyes.”

“A pair of eyes?” Hope flipped open her sketch book to the picture of Harry’s eyes that she drew. She heard him suck in his breath. “You saw my eyes?” He ran his fingers over the picture. He didn’t know what he thought or what he was feeling.

“Yeah...for a while after, until the night I met you actually I saw you looking at me. It’s why I was so freaked out when we bumped into each other and I realized it was you that I had been seeing.”

“You’re really talented.”

“Thank you. Drawing has always helped me clear my head.”

“Can I see what you were drawing when I got here?” He watched her freeze for a moment and then she flipped to the front of the book. He was younger, cleaner, well fed and happy; but Harry knew it was Sirius Black. He was at a loss for words again.

“I just- why wasn’t I enough? Why wasn’t she enough for him? I just want answers that no one can give me.” She was crying again. Hope hated crying in front of anyone. She felt Harry’s arm get tighter around her. “I get these polarized stories about him and I can’t sort it out. I was- I was hoping he would want to find me. To see me, to explain why he did what he did. Maybe he had a reason, you know? But then he broke into the castle and did what he did. And I know he’s here for you and not me. He thinks if he gets rid of you that Voldemort will return. I don’t mean anything to him. I’m nothing. And yet, the idea of him getting hurt, of the dementors getting their hands on him, it tears me apart.”

“Hope- you’re not nothing. And I can tell, your Uncle is so proud of you. I can see it when he’s looking at you and when he talks about you. You’re everything. You’re brilliant and brave. You’re kind. Your friendship with Hermione has transformed her. It’s hard being friends with me and Ron. Now she has you too. Hope you’re one of us. So to hell with Sirius Black. He lost out on having an incredible daughter. You’re amazing and I’m honored that you’re one of my best friends. And there's nothing wrong with not wanting anything bad to happen to your parent, even after they did terrible things. That's normal.” Hope leaned her head on Harry’s shoulder. They sat in silence for a while.

“Thanks Harry.” The two continued to sit there, not saying anything. Harry contemplated what to say next to reassure her. He wanted her to know that regardless of what happened with Sirius Black that he would always be on her side.

“I couldn’t ever hate you, not for anything. I will always be here for you. I will always be your friend. C’mon, we should get inside. It’s getting late and you’re freezing.” Harry stood and pulled Hope to her feet and then hugged her tightly. They stood that way for a moment before Harry led her back to the castle. In the distance, a black dog watched the two teens retreat with a feeling of longing that panged deep inside Hope.

28 notes · View notes

kayliemusing · 3 years

Text

1: Name - Kaylie

2: Age - 23

3: 3 Fears - Spiders, failure, loss

4: 3 things I love - Reading, writing, Taylor Swift

5: 4 turns on - Kindness, nice hands, humor, someone who has a really warm heart.

6: 4 turns off - Arrogance, moustaches lmao, narcissism, basket ball shorts *shudders*

7: My best friend - Her name is Megan (but also my mom lmao)

8: Sexual orientation - Heterosexual

9: My best first date - I have never been on a date.

10: How tall am I - 5'2

11: What do I miss - My childhood mostly

12: What time were I born - 2:45 pm

13: Favorite color - Red, but sometimes a nice summery, pastel yellow

14: Do I have a crush - no

15: Favorite quote - I have so many that I can't say my utmost favourite, but one that I always think about is from Richard Siken "He was pointing at the moon but I was looking at his hand." I'm not even sure how this is supposed to be interpreted, but I just love the detail of this. Of someone looking at the moon and pointing at it, but you're looking at their hand because you're that consumed by them and also they're like your moon. anyway-

16: Favorite place - My house lol

17: Favorite food - Cheesecake

18: Do I use sarcasm - Yes, but very dryly

19: What am I listening to right now - Nothing actually. I'm just sitting in the quiet.

20: First thing I notice in new person - I used to think it was physical, like eyes or their smile, but I think it's actually their demeanor. i.e., confidence, if they're laid back, talkative or quiet, etc. Or even just how they handle things. Like when I'm at work and I meet a new co-worker I'm always noticing how they are with people.

21: Shoe size - 6.5 US but I can manage a 7 US too.

22: Eye color - Grey

23: Hair color - Ashy blonde, but I usually get it highlighted to be a brighter blonde

24: Favorite style of clothing - I'm super into the French girl vibe right now (elegany, classy, ribbed sweaters tucked into high waisted jeans or dress pants, a blazer thrown over and a nice gold necklace) but I'm also really into a summery boho look (flowy maxi dresses and skirts)

25: Ever done a prank call? No

27: Meaning behind my URL - On this account, it's just my name and then 'muses' because this account is just me talking to myself tbh. My main account is called autumnsletters which is just a combo of my fav things: autumn and handwritten love letters, and finally, my embarrassing taylor swift account is called sixteenavenue which is a lyric from her song I Think He Knows where she mentions her heart skipping down sixteenth avenue.

28: Favorite movie - I feel like i don't have one answer bc I always have a different answer to this question lmao. I think it's called A Christmas Carol (the 2009 version w/ Jim Carrey). It just makes me feel cozy and warm inside. Also: Clueless.

29: Favorite song - All Too Well by Taylor Swift I think.

30: Favorite band - Of Monsters and Men

31: How I feel right now - I actually feel really happy today, which is a change lol. I had an awful week last week, but over the last couple of days I've just felt more creative and happier.

32: Someone I love - My mom

33: My current relationship status - Single

34: My relationship with my parents - Excellent.

35: Favorite holiday - Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have -0 :'(

37: Tattoos and piercing i want - I want to get my ears pierced again bc the holes grew over. Low key want a nose piericing and low key want a tattoo on my collarbone (or somewhere around there)

38: The reason I joined Tumblr - Because everyone else had it and I felt left out LOL

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? - I don't have an ex

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? - No

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? - No i've never been kissed rip

42: When did I last hold hands? - never but it's ok bc i can hold my own hand

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Depending on what I'm doing. If I showered the night before and I'm just doing a very low-maintenance look, roughly 15-20 mins. On a normal day in which I shower in the morning and am trying to actually be presentable, roughly an hour.

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days? - Have YOU shaved MY legs? No. Have I shaved my own? Yes

45: Where am I right now? - My room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? - Most likely I'm not drunk, but IF I WAS, it would be my friend, my mom, or my sister (my sister would probs make fun of me and film me tho tbh)

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - Loud if I'm jamming with nothing else to do but sing along. If I'm trying to do something, I'll turn it down bc I can't focus with loud music (especially if I'm trying to write something/talk to someone/text someone)

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? - My mom bc my dads dead

49: Am I excited for anything? - My sister and I are going to Banff in about three weeks so I'm excited for a getaway.

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - No

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? - I work in retail so

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? - I don't know. I think I hugged my mom at some point this week lol

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? - Bye bye babyyyy

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? - my cat

55: What is something I disliked about today? - I had to go to work

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - Taylor Alison Swift baby

57: What do I think about most? - Probably Taylor Swift.

58: What’s my strangest talent? - I can make stomach gurgling noises with my mouth closed.

59: Do I have any strange phobias? - Nah, pretty generic ones

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Behind the camera

61: What was the last lie I told? - Some lady asked if a product was good and I said yes so I wouldn't have to help her find another one

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? - Neither what the hell

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? - Neither

64: Do I believe in magic? - No

65: Do I believe in luck? - No

66: What's the weather like right now? - It's calm, but a little cloudy. It was really warm and sunny earlier, but it's gotten a little grey.

67: What was the last book I've read? - I just finished this series called The Winner's Curse by Marie Rutkoski and it was so good but so stressful omg. Still 5/5 stars.

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? - Yes

69: Do I have any nicknames? - Not really, but sometimes my coworkers call my Kayls

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had? - Oh my god when I was like 10 I fell during grounders and the bar hit me right on the cooch. Most painful event of my entire life.

71: Do I spend money or save it? - Spend it bitch

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? - No

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? - yes!! my blanket!!

74: Favorite animal? - I love hippos and I don't know why.

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? - Reading on my phone to avoid sleeping so I could prolong not going to work

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? - Devil. Kind of like Satan The Devil is his full name

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Shake It Off

78: How can you win my heart? - Learning Taylor Swift's entire discography for my sake

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? - tbh I really don't know

80: What is my favorite word? - Wonderstruck

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr - n/a

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - stream fearless taylor's version

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? - no

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? - Healing

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? - N/A

86: What is my current desktop picture? - it's a misty forest

87: Had sex? - no

88: Bought condoms? - no

89: Gotten pregnant? - no

90: Failed a class? - yes

91: Kissed a boy? - no

92: Kissed a girl? - no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - no but it's a dream

94: Had a job? - I've had two so far

95: Left the house without my wallet? - Yes, sometimes I do it on purpose so I can make my mom pay for something lmao (chill i'm talking something small like candy)

96: Bullied someone on the internet? - no

97: Had sex in public? - no

98: Played on a sports team? - no

99: Smoked weed? - no

100: Did drugs? - no

101: Smoked cigarettes? - no

102: Drank alcohol? - yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? - no

104: Been overweight? - I feel overweight, but technically no

105: Been underweight? - No

106: Been to a wedding? - Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? - Yes, but not since I was younger. I'm mostly on my phone now.

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? - Oh yeah lmao

109: Been outside my home country? - No

110: Gotten my heart broken? - Yes

111: Been to a professional sports game? - No

112: Broken a bone? - No

113: Cut myself? - Yes

114: Been to prom? - Sort of. I'm Canadian so I had grad.

115: Been in airplane? - No

116: Fly by helicopter? - No

117: What concerts have I been to? - Jonas Brothers when I was about 10 lmao and Marianas Trench when I was 15

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? - No

119: Learned another language? - Tried to

120: Wore make up? - Yes. I do work at a makeup store.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? - no

122: Had oral sex? - no

123: Dyed my hair? - not a funky color, no

124: Voted in a presidential election? - Sort of; I voted for a prime minister

125: Rode in an ambulance? - Yes

126: Had a surgery? - No

127: Met someone famous? - No

128: Stalked someone on a social network? - No

129: Peed outside? - No

130: Been fishing? - No

131: Helped with charity? - Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? - No bc I never fessed up to any crush lol

133: Broken a mirror? - No

134: What do I want for birthday? - A jewelry box

#survey

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 5 years

Text

Follow Me Home (Part 3)

Summary: Dean and the reader head up to Vancouver on a long shot but discover their friendship might not stop there...

Pairing: Cop!Dean x reader

Masterlist

Word Count: 4,700ish

Warnings: language, kidnapping, brief smut

A/N: Enjoy!…

______

“The rain’s pretty,” you said the next morning as you woke up, sitting up in Dean’s bed as he worked on his computer beside you, rain pouring down outside. He smiled and scratched at his bedhead.

“It’s probably a good thing that you like it if you live here,” he said, closing his eyes. “It doesn’t look like your father had a record. Your mother either.”

“Of course,” you said, laying back on the bed.

“Your father used to have a girlfriend. He broke it off with her a few years back but she might be worth talking to. He might have shared some things with her,” said Dean. “It’s a long shot.”

“Where does she live?” you asked.

“Vancouver. Canada,” he said. “About three hours from here.”

“Can I even go there?” you asked.

“Y/N might not have a passport but Jane does,” he said, nodding over to the small table in the room, a few papers scattered on top of it. “We’re probably chasing our own tails at this point.”

“Probably. But I’d rather make sure it’s a dead end than not ask at all,” you said.

“Why don’t we get dressed, grab a quick brunch and then we’ll take a ride up there?” he asked.

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Shocker. Dead end,” you said with a smile a few hours later as you walked back towards the rental car. Dean chuckled and shrugged. “Hey, at least we tried.”

“Well since we’re having such a crappy day, why don’t we make the most of this little trip before we fly home tomorrow,” he said.

“What do you have in mind?”

“Why don’t we grab a late lunch and then we’ll see if we can turn your day around, sweetheart.”

“Wow,” you said a few more hours later, the sun already set as you looked around. “Look at the lights.”

“It’s really pretty,” said Dean, smiling as he grabbed your hand. You weren’t expecting the surprise trip to the canyon park but you certainly weren’t going to argue with him. It was gorgeous. Lights were strung along all of the bridges, in the trees, the place looking like it was some kind of winter wonderland, minus all of the snow.

“Hey, is Thanksgiving soon?” you asked.

“Next week,” he said with a smile. “You remembered it’s November.”

“Context clues,” you said, waving your arm around, pointing at a giant candy cane.

“Still. You remembered,” he said.

“I’m not entirely hopeless after all,” you said with a laugh.

“You never were, Y/N,” he said, shoving his hands in his pockets as you started to walk down a trail. “Not too many people could be in your situation and be handling it this well.”

“I want to know why is all,” you said. “Why me?”

“I want to know why you were outside half naked in November,” he said.

“What’s your detective hat telling you?” you asked. Dean shrugged, quiet for a few minutes before he let out a big breath.

“I think someone wanted to hurt you which explains why you were so scared when we met. If that’s the case, I’m not comfortable leaving your side yet,” he said. “Which is why a safer move might actually be to stay up here, keep you out of harm’s way.”

“We can stay at my apartment,” you said. “That’s free at least.”

“...everyday we learn a little more about what happened which helps. We’ll get there and get it so you feel safe at home,” he said.

“I don’t know where my home is anymore,” you said.

“Maybe it’s wherever you want it to be,” he said.

“Dork,” you said, reaching out and wrapping your arm around his. “I think the answers are back in Kansas.”

“I can head back and you can stay here,” he said.

“Oh. Yeah. Okay,” you said.

“Or we can stay up here and I can get Sam to do the leg work,” he said. “I think I’m a bit nicer to hang around than Broch.”

“I don’t like that guy,” you said.

“He’s the chief of a major city. I don’t imagine it’s an easy job,” said Dean. “Still, he could be a little more compassionate.”

“Well not everybody’s a super cop like you, Dean,” you said, Dean smirking back at you.

“I’m just doing my job,” he said, slowing his pace as you came to a long bridge. “Afraid of heights?”

“No. Pretty is all. You do way more than just your job by the way, Dean. You’re supposed to find out what happened to me is all,” you said. “But you...you do more.”

“You must not have ever heard of that to protect and serve part,” he teased.

“Dean.”

“You need a friend right now and this is the biggest thing I’ve ever worked...and we used to be good friends,” he said. You turned your head up at him, Dean staring out ahead on the bright path. “The Winchester’s weren’t exactly rolling in it when I was little. My dad got a better job when I was about ten, not too long after you went missing. We moved to the nicer side of town after that. Before that though...we used to live on the same street. We used to play.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember,” you said. He chuckled, stopping in the middle of the bridge.

“Y/N, it’s alright. I barely do and I wasn’t bonked on the head a few days ago,” he said, fixing your hair away from your healing cut. “You and Sammy were always playing. I was normally around somewhere.”

“We were friends?” you asked.

“Well my stupid ten year old self probably wouldn’t have admitted to being friends with a six year old but yeah, we were,” he said. “Then one day we went outside to ask you to play and the street was covered in cop cars. I never saw you again for twenty years. Not until a few days ago.”

“Well thanks for finding me,” you said, looking into the dark canyon and down at the water below. “Even if you suck at it.”

“I am excellent at hide and seek, thank you very much,” he laughed. “You didn’t play fair, Jane.”

“Don’t call me that,” you said.

“Sorry.”

“She’s not real,” you said with a sigh.

“You are,” he said, touching your cheek. You gave him a smile, Dean looking at you with a soft face. He bent his head down and lightly kissed you, pulling away when you stared at him. “I’m sorry. That was unprofessional.”

“Who gives a shit?” you said, stepping closer to him.

“Y/N-“

“Dean.”

You smiled and tilted your head up, barely catching his lips. He closed his eyes for a moment, slowly opening them when you moved away.

“I’ve kissed you before,” you said. “Something to do with ice cream.”

“Yes, you did,” he said with a small smile. “It didn’t quite feel like that though.”

“I trust you,” you said.

“You’ve known me four days.”

“I’ve known you more than four days, Dean. I trust you,” you said.

“Okay, sweetheart,” he said, nodding his head. “Want to keep going before our lovely drive back?”

“Yeah,” you said, pecking another kiss to his lips, Dean smiling through it this time. “Thank you for bringing me here. It’s sort of been the highlight of my day.”

“Mine too,” he said with a laugh. “Alright. Alright. We can do more of that later. I promise.”

“Y/N,” laughed Dean when you stumbled back into your apartment late that night. You pushed his rain coat off his shoulders, barely letting him kick off his boots before you walked him back into your bedroom, pushing him straight onto the bed. “Y/N, behave, young lady.”

“I might not remember it but I know I like sex,” you said, settling on the bed and straddling his hips, giving him a big smile.

“We are not having sex. You’re not on anything and I don’t got anything and-“ he said before you leaned down and kissed him, Dean leaning into it before he broke away. “Y/N.”

“We can still feel good right?” you asked, licking your lips. “I could get very familiar with those lips of yours…”

“I’m not 69’ing with someone who doesn’t remember sex ed,” he said with a laugh.

“Then teach me so whatever this feeling is in me gets better,” you said.

“You mean horny?” he asked.

“Yeah, horny. In control. Make it feel better. You’re really good at making me feel better, Dean…” you said.

“Y/N. No,” he said. You frowned and rolled off of him, laying down in the empty side. “We can kiss if you want?”

“I…” you said, sitting up and looking back at him. “Say that again.”

“We can kiss if you want?” he said as he righted himself.

“A boy said that to me in high school when I turned him down for sex,” you said.

Dean stared at you blinking a few times.

“You do understand what sex is, don’t-“

“Of course I know what it is. I know I’ve done it. Like I said, it’s feelings,” you said. “Sex is a lot of feelings.”

“Well it is an intimate thing. It makes sense why your brain-“ said Dean before you kissed him hard. He broke off with a pant, staring at you again. “Fine but this ain’t going in that, got it? Strictly a little playing around and that’s it.”

“I think I’m remembering something else,” you said, pushing back on his shoulders.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“I really enjoy being on top,” you said, hovering over him.

“I’m man enough to enjoy both,” he said with a smile. “You think you know how to do this?”

“Oh, I know what I’m doing, Dean.”

“Shit, Y/N,” Dean panted against your stomach as you were still coming down from your third orgasm of the night. He throbbed in your mouth and you swallowed around him, Dean groaning as he came. You rolled off to the other side of the bed when he finished, Dean forcing himself up, leaning back on his arms. “You are really, really, really good at that.”

“I know,” you smirked, throwing an arm over your face. “That was fun. I feel like I can remember more stuff now. Relationships. Good sex, bad sex, playing on my own.”

“Where’s this rank?” he asked.

“No one’s gotten me there with just his oral skills alone and certainly not more than once,” you said, closing your eyes with a smile. “Thanks.”

“Thank you,” he laughed, spinning around to meet you at the other end of the bed. You moved your arm away, Dean turning on his side. “You look happier.”

“I just 69’d with an incredibly hot man,” you said, Dean chuckling as he pushed your hair behind your shoulder. “I’m remembering. Slowly, but I am. I feel less scared than before, more of that grounded feeling fore sure. I know you aren’t going to let anything happen to me again.”

“Damn right I’m not,” he said, bopping the tip of your nose. “Want to stay up here in Washington a little while? See if Sam can hunt down how and why you got back to Lawrence while you’re out of harm’s way?”

“Yeah,” you said as a new chorus of rain hit against the windows outside. “That sounds good with me.”

“Good morning,” you said, Dean walking back into your bedroom after a quick shower.

“Good morning. Your bathroom is super nice by the way,” he said. “You have heated tile floors and super fluffy towels.”

“Whoa. I must be rolling in the big bucks,” you laughed.

“Well you are an architect. In Seattle. I’m going to guess you do alright for yourself,” he said, digging through his suitcase for some clean clothes.

“You know...You could just not get dressed,” you said, Dean standing upright. “I want to stay home and eat take out and make out.”

“Well that does sound appealing but I do need to do a little bit of work in the event you have a psychotic person on your ass,” he said. “...But I’ll keep it to undies and a tee?”

“I suppose I can live with that,” you said, sitting up with a stretch.

“Take a shower. You’ll feel better. I got to change your bandage on your head when you’re all done,” he said.

“Okie dokie,” you said, throwing back the covers, Dean shaking his head at you.

“Okie dokie. I like that,” he said. You smiled and headed past him into the bathroom, the glass all steamed up from Dean. He hadn’t been in there too long so you weren’t worried about there not being enough hot water left. You slipped inside and turned it on. It was a much nicer shower than you’d taken at the hospital after they’d checked you out for sure.

You closed your eyes, standing under the water until your fingers were pruned. Your head was a bit clearer and after a few minutes, you were exiting into the kitchen in some underwear and an oversized shirt, Dean sipping on a cup of coffee with his laptop on the counter.

“I thought you weren’t putting on clothes,” he laughed.

“I figured we could match,” you said, moving to make your own cup. “So what has super cop discovered thus far?”

“I’m working on it,” he said, his phone ringing, Sam’s name popping up. He smiled as he answered, putting it on speaker. “What’s up? You crack the case?”

“No. You guys are still hanging out up in Washington?” asked Sam.

“Yeah. We’re crashing at Y/N’s place since the local PD doesn’t seem to care as much anymore,” said Dean.

“Good. Weird stuff is happening around town and I want Y/N to stay away from here,” said Sam. You shared a look with Dean, Dean staring back at you.

“Define weird, Sammy,” he said.

“Every cop in the department had their home broken into last night but nothing was taken, including your place. Then there’s the fact motel 8 and the Marriott and the Hilton all had their offices broken into but again, nothing was taken,” said Sam.

“Did security pick up anything?” asked Dean.

“Frank got someone dressed in black on his home security feed and the hotels got more of the same. This guy didn’t want to be seen. At all,” said Sam.

“You get a face?” asked Dean.

“No. They were covered head to toe. Odds are it’s a guy based on the build but other than that, we got nothing.”

“Nothing? You’re telling me that six different police officers with over a hundred years combined experience, who all had their homes broken into, got nothing?” said Dean. Sam was quiet on the other end, Dean taking a deep breath. “I’m not mad. I just really need you to keep an eye on things down there. Obviously someone is looking for Y/N which concerns me. They don’t know where she is yet and I’d prefer it stays that way. It’s pretty obvious she didn’t just trip in the woods.”

“I know. We’re gonna try and find out who this guy is and what he wants with Y/N,” said Sam. You quietly sat up on the counter with your mug, flicking at the peeling bandage on your forehead.

“I’ll send you what we got on our end so far. Be careful, Sammy. This guy sounds smart. I don’t like that,” he said.

“I know. Stay safe. Don’t let Dean annoy you too much, Y/N,” said Sam.

“Oh, I won’t,” he laughed. “Talk to you later, Sam.”

He sighed as he hung up, your gaze on your coffee cup.

“Someone’s looking for me,” you said.

“We’re gonna find them first,” he said, standing up and walking in front of you. “Okay?”

“Do I just have shitty luck or is all of this connected?” you asked, playing with your bandage again.

“Don’t pick,” he said, pushing your wrist down. “Where’s your first aid?”

“Top cabinet,” you said, lifting your chin. “Yeah, top one.”

“Is being home helping?” he asked gently as he went to the cabinet, smiling as he pulled it out.

“It’s an apartment. It’s not home,” you said as Dean walked back over. “It doesn’t feel like home. It’s cold.”

“Well you were right. Jane Jones has only lived here three months,” he said, flipping open the red bag beside you. “It could still be home.”

“No. It’s nice but no. Too modern. Too in the city. I moved here out of necessity I’m pretty sure,” you said.

“Well you don’t have to stay,” he said, pulling out a small bottle of alcohol and a cotton ball. He dabbed some on and peeled off your old bandage, carefully moving your damp hair back. “Hey. Y/N. Look at me.”

You hadn’t realized you shut your eyes, Dean giving you a soft smile.

“You were looking a little scared there,” he said. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you said, Dean waiting a beat before cleaning the healing skin. You gripped your mug tight and set it aside, Dean pulling his hand away.

“Y/N. What’s going on?” he asked.

“I don’t…” you said, grabbing the cotton out of his hand and rubbing it against your head.

“Y/N. It’s clean. Stop,” he said, pulling your hand away as you took a deep breath, looking up with wide eyes. “You remember something.”

“I know how I got to Kansas.”

“Alright. Y/N,” said Sam on the other end of the line half an hour later. “One of our guys just confirmed that you did in fact use a pre loaded credit card to book a plane ticket on Monday and flew down in the evening on your own. You rented a car using that card in Kansas City. It’s not been recovered yet but we would theorize you came to Lawrence likely sometime late Monday evening or night.”

“Why’d you pay with an untraceable card?” asked Dean, cocking his head at you as you sat on the couch. “What did you find out between the time you went to confront your father Monday morning and the time you booked that ticket...it was only a few hours…”

“Y/N. Didn’t you tell your boss you were taking days off? What time was that?” asked Sam.

“Uh, she sent that email at 7:53am, Monday morning,” said Dean, lifting his head up from his computer. “You were always going to Kansas, Y/N. You knew that.”

“You took two grand out in cash last Friday. She was always planning this,” said Sam. “But why?”

“What did you find out that’s not written down anywhere…” said Dean, leaning back on your couch, kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

“It must have been about my mom. Maybe I wanted to see her or find out more about her...why else would I go back there?” you said.

“Good point. Sammy. Look into Y/N’s mom. Family, friends, people she worked with. I want to know every single person that knew the Y/L/N’s,” said Dean.

“You want the Winchesters on the list too?” asked Sam.

“Did you attack Y/N on Monday night?” asked Dean rolling his eyes.

“Of course not.”

“Then don’t be a dipshit. People that are dead you can leave off the list too, genius,” said Dean.

“Dean,” you said with a smile. “You know, it’s probably not a bad idea to include the kids I went to school with and their parents. Just in case.”

“You heard her, Sammy. She didn’t even go to the academy and I’m fixing to make her second in command when I get back,” said Dean.

“At least I remember my birthday,” said Sam. You scoffed, Dean chuckling.

“Cute, Winchester. I’ve never heard that one before,” you said.

“She’s got a better memory than last you saw her, Sam. I’d watch out,” said Dean.

“If you could remember everything that happened that’d be great,” said Sam.

“You know I wasn’t trying that method that but I’m totally gonna do that now,” you said. “That’s like super helpful of you, Sam.”

“I sense sarcasm,” said Sam.

“No, never,” you said, Dean biting his bottom lip.

“When this is all over, we gotta hang out again like when we were kids,” said Sam.

“Find this guy for me quick so we can, Sam,” you said.

“We will,” he said. “Call if you guys figure anything else out.”

“Will do. Oh and can you go over mom and dads and empty the dehumidifier?” asked Dean.

“Seriously?” sighed Sam.

“I told ‘em I’d do it while they’re up at Uncle Bobby’s,” said Dean. “Please?”

“Fine. But you let me fix you up with Robin in my spin class now,” said Sam.

“No! She’s the health nut job. Besides, I’m…” said Dean, glancing at you. “Not available.”

“Hold up. You got-“

“Better get on the case, Sam,” said Dean, ending the call.

“Smooth,” you said.

“Well she is nuts,” said Dean, standing up and heading towards your kitchen.

“Are you not available?” you asked.

“I...don’t know,” said Dean, looking over his shoulder. “I don’t really know what this is.”

“I think it’s called dating, Dean,” you said, earning an eye roll from him. “What exactly was that for?”

“We’re not…” he said, closing his eyes when you raised an eyebrow.

“Oh no. Please, finish that sentence,” you said. He licked his lips and crossed his arms. “You get your blowjob and now it’s back to business?”

“Excuse me but you were the one all over me last night,” he said.

“You afraid of commitment or something? I didn’t even say we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. I said maybe we’re dating on account of all the flirting and all that,” you said.

“Am I afraid of commitment? I’m not the one that went missing for nearly a week and not a single person she knows even reported it. You even get a text from anyone checking up, huh? No? I wonder why,” he said.

“Fuck you,” you said. He smiled, cocking his head. “Go work in my office and get away from me.”

“Something we can agree on,” he said. He swiped his laptop from the living room and headed down the hall, slamming the door shut after himself. You narrowed your eyes and went back to your bedroom, putting on some clothes and grabbing your raincoat before you slipped out of the apartment.

“What the hell are you doing?” asked Dean when he found you on bench in front of the bay a few hours later, the walking trail not too far behind you. “Y/N.”

“What? What do you want?” you said, glaring as you turned your head at him. He sighed as he sat down, reaching out and wiping your face off. “Stop.”

“You’re crying and I got a feeling it’s my fault,” he said.

“Way to figure that one out, super cop,” you said, turning your body away.

“Y/N...this isn’t the time or place to go over dating or a relationship. We-”

“You kissed me first,” you said, pulling your hood more when it started to rain harder. “You started it.”

“...I like you. I do. I want...I want to spend the day in pajamas hanging out and getting to know each other too. But my job right now is to protect you. I’m not talking about some random guy here. There is someone who is smart and calculating out there that wants to hurt you, maybe worse. They want to hurt you and I know you’re tough. So it scares me because this person got a hold of you once. They are after you despite the risks and that scares me more because it means they are bad news. I can’t protect you if I’m worried about…” said Dean, running his hand over his face. “I want to and I’ll take you on a real date as soon as this is dealt with. I promise. Please try to understand where I’m coming from.”

“You’re scared of more than just this guy,” you said, looking back at him. He stared out at the choppy water, his hood hiding most of his face. “Someone hurt you.”

“You can remember a tenth of your life and you can see through my bullshit better than anyone I’ve ever met,” he chuckled.

“You can protect me, Dean. You can be my friend too. You can be more. I need you around. I remember more and better around you. I understand. I understand what it’s like to be betrayed by someone you care about. My own father lied to me the past twenty years. But I won’t be angry and sad forever because of it. I like feeling happy and there are these little moments like at the bridge or-”

He leaned over and cut you off with a kiss, cold water dripping all over your faces from your hoods. Something about it felt different. You felt the hurt behind it. It wasn’t shy or sexy like the night before. It felt like a warning almost to stay away.

“My ex-girlfriend cheated on me three months ago,” he said. “Because I’m quote, ‘too pathetic and-’”

“She’s wrong,” you said.

“Y/N-”

“Wrong. Understand?”

“You barely know me,” he said.

“I don’t know details. You I know,” you said. “Okay?”

“Okay,” he said, nodding his head. “But don’t you dare run off on your own again, got it?”

“I won’t. I was mad. I come here when I get mad,” you said. Dean turned around in his seat, spinning back around.

“Y/N. I don’t want you to do anything but keep looking forward. There’s a man back there on the bench. It’s probably nothing but I want us to get out of here, alright?” he said.

“Do you have your gun?” you asked.

“Yeah. Under my jacket. If I pull it out I’ll tip him off though,” said Dean.

“No need for that,” you heard behind you. You both spun around, the man suddenly right there and pushing back his hood. You cocked your head, Dean doing the same as you recognized the face from the picture on your fridge.

“Dad?” you said, looking at Dean who looked equally confused. “I...I thought you died on Monday.”

“You two better come with me. This one catches cold easy.”

_____

A/N: Read Part 4 here!

#supernatural #spn #dean x reader #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean #winchester #dean spn #series #au #cop!dean x reader

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