#it's been so long that i want to start with new threads rather than deep dive into my drafts-- not yettt.

[velvetineblue]

CHARACTER INFO SHEET ;

NAME : taiyang theodoré tseng .

NAME MEANING : sun / god-given gift / high, elevated, steep

ALIAS : mostly just 'tai' .

ETHNICITY : taiwanese .

ONE PICTURE / ICON YOU LIKE BEST OF YOUR CHARACTER : hmmmmmm... many options asjjaj but this one is one of my fav graphics i've made !!

THREE HCS YOU NEVER TOLD ANYONE :

a weird, (?) comfort food that he will make is a pb&j sandwich but with strawberry jam or orange marmalade (or both!) and peanutbutter... and he'll add marshmallow fluff if there is some in the pantry, if he wants a sweet treat. : 3

in his vampire verse, he has shadow/darkness manipulation magic, && can shift into a black wolf : 33 he has the capability of shifting into pretty much any nocturnal predatory creature ( yes, including bats asjajj ) but it's a difficult and learned skill, and a wolf is the only one he is practiced at && is good at so far......... he's practicing how to git gud at birds and other creatures of flight because that would be hella useful but. he's not very good at it at the time and can only do it for a short burst jasjajj. these shifting abilities ONLY work at night, though!! only when the moon is out; never in the daytime .

the man who took care of little-tai while his father was in jail ( who is his dad's best friend ) was very frugal, modest in accommodation's, and believed that anything extraneous to be bought for the household, tai had to earn. mostly by doing chores or something else productive with his time. because of this, he grew up without a lot of 'luxuries' that others were accustomed to: for example, there was no internet access in his home; he had to go to the library or his school to use the internet! and he didn't have a cell phone until he was 17, and that's because he saved up money from a summer job to buy his own... and on a similar vein ( perhaps because of this ), he's not as addicted to tech as a lot of other people his age?? he uses social media but in like... low-moderate amounts. he's def not addicted to it and he doesn't use it all that often, comparative to most people in his age/generation group.

THREE THINGS YOUR CHARACTER LIKES TO DO IN THEIR FREE TIME :

jogging / hiking, etc; finding a place in nature that is pretty/cool and hanging out there, enjoying the ambience . . .

he's not extremely mechanically knowledge, but if there is any work he can do himself on his car(s), he rly enjoys when he can do it! the hands-on challenge is fun & it's satisfying to know he did it HIMSELF. he likes cars in general; likes going on drives while listening to music, likes checking out interesting/sEXy/rare models of cars ... even in verses where racing is not a thing he does/did, he enjoys car shows, clubs, shops, etc; he might go them if he's bored and they're around. he luvs his car; it his babie <; 3

pretty much anything to do with animals; he will meet up with someone there so fast!! the zoo, aquarium, dog parks, etc... if there's a chance he can see ( or better yet, inTERACT WITH ) animals, he's on his way— hE'S ZOOMIN!!!!

TWO THINGS YOUR CHARACTER REGRETS :

in his supernatural/SoL verses: he had a very close childhood-friend named Nihat that moved to LA to be in the band: tai half-convinced him to move to LA, but honestly, not really; nihat really wanted to come anyway, he was just waiting for the formal invitation. sadly, nihat ended up becoming deeply entrenched in the vices of the LA music scene and that trouble... ultimately led him to the end of his life ... tai deeply regrets ever inviting nihat to La. the guilt has haunted him ever since. there's a lot more i want to write on that topic but i would accidentally write a novel so i gotta stop there ajsajjj

he regrets not doing more for his mom when she was alive. he was only eight when she passed away, and realistically, ooc, we all know there really wasn't anything he could do for her that could have helped her with her mental health struggles; and even if there was, that wasn't his responsibility to take on; he was a child and should not have had to care for her or worry about her health-- it is the other way around ... but he's never been able to accept that. he has always carried the guilt and regret that he couldn't do more, and couldn't save her... couldn't give her a reason to live, or be enough for her to want to.

ONE PHOBIA YOUR CHARACTER HAS : most of his fears are psychological but... one physical thing that is nightmare fuel for him would be if he was locked in a claustrophobic small space alone, all on his own, for a long time, with no way to exit, and it didn't seem like someone was coming to get him...... . o _ o that would be very near the top in his list of "worst ways to die" asjjajj

[special-agent-sass]

Brighter Future

Warnings: Smut, Dominant Gibbs.

I wanted to try something new so I wrote this in the typical third-person POV but focusing on Gibbs’ thoughts rather than the reader’s. I don’t know how to feel about it.. read it, tell me what ya think haha. I tried my best.

Gibbs slammed the basement door behind him, his jaw clenched in frustration. That damn woman was going to be the death of him. When he'd seen Y/N leave the bar with some pretty boy, laughing and flirting, his gut had twisted into knots. He knew it was irrational - she wasn't his to claim - but that did nothing to temper the surge of jealousy burning through him.

Taking a deep breath, Gibbs tried to rein in his emotions as he started sanding the latest addition to his boat. It was a lost cause, though. No matter how hard he focused on the rhythmic strokes, his mind kept drifting back to her.

Y/N Y/L/N. The beautiful, stubborn, reckless thorn in his side. From the moment she'd joined his team two years ago, Gibbs had been drawn to her like a moth to a flame. With her leather jacket, tattooed skin, those damn tight jeans and devil-may-care attitude, she was everything he never knew he wanted.

They clashed constantly, her recklessness grating against his rigid control. But underneath the arguments simmered an attraction that left them both flustered and on-edge. He'd catch her gazing at him when she thought he wasn't looking, green eyes dark with longing. It took every ounce of restraint not to pin her against the wall and kiss that smart mouth of hers until neither of them could breathe.

Gibbs switched to a finer grit sandpaper, losing himself in the methodical motions. This was useless. She consumed his thoughts whether he liked it or not. He remembered the first time he saw her - long dark hair spilling over a muscular back, tight jeans accentuating every curve. When she'd turned and met his gaze, Gibbs felt a spark of electricity jolt through him. No one had affected him like that in a long time.

From that moment on, she was always there, challenging him, pushing his buttons. He lived for their clashes, the passion simmering between them. But he had to be careful. Dating a co-worker never ended well, and she was too young for the likes of him anyway.

So Gibbs had resigned himself to longing from afar, sure she would never share his inappropriate feelings. Seeing her with that young punk at the bar, Gibbs' restraint shattered like glass. The thought of her going home with someone else sent him into a possessive rage he didn't recognize.

Gibbs looked up when he heard his front door open. Speak of the devil. Y/N hesitated at the top of the stairs, uncertainty clouding her features. His heart stuttered as their eyes met. God she was beautiful, even with her lip caught between her teeth and uncharacteristic vulnerability lurking in her gaze.

Setting the sandpaper down, Gibbs turned to face her. "Shouldn't you be out with your boyfriend?" He winced as the words came out harsher than he intended.

Y/N didn't seem offended, though. Slowly descending the stairs, she said "He's not my boyfriend. Just an old friend from high school."

Gibbs watched her approach, the sway of her hips hypnotic. His mouth went dry when she stopped mere inches away, tilting her face up to meet his gaze.

"I didn't go home with him. I realized there was somewhere else I wanted to be instead."

Gibbs' pulse roared in his ears as her meaning sank in. Unable to stop himself, he reached out and caressed her cheek, thrilling when she leaned into his touch. Her skin was so soft under his calloused fingers and he ached to explore every inch of her.

"Y/N..." he started, but she placed a delicate finger over his lips.

"I'm tired of dancing around this, Jethro. I want you. I've wanted you from the moment I saw you."

That was all the permission Gibbs needed. With a groan he threaded his fingers through her hair and claimed her mouth in a searing kiss. She melted against him instantly, nails scraping down his back as she kissed him back fiercely. It was better than any fantasy - the taste of her, the feel of her supple body aligning with his.

Gibbs maneuvered them until Y/N was pinned between him and the workbench. His hands drifted down to grip her ass, pulling her tight against him as he dominated the kiss, taking everything she offered. When they finally broke for air, he took in her kiss-swollen lips and darkened gaze. She was a vision.

"I need you. Now," Y/N panted, and Gibbs heartily agreed. He made quick work of her shirt, groaning at the expanse of tattooed skin revealed. Dropping hot, open-mouthed kisses along her neck, he deftly unhooked her bra and palmed her breasts. Y/N moaned loudly when he bit down on the skin below her jaw, the sound shooting straight to his groin.

He deftly unbuttoned her jeans. His hand slipped inside, finding her hot and wet for him already. Y/N cried out as he stroked her. Her head fell back, exposing the graceful column of her throat. he ducked down to kiss and nip his way up to her ear.

"Tell me you're mine," Gibbs growled.

"Yes, all yours," she panted.

Gibbs withdrew his hand, ignoring her noise of protest as he stripped her jeans off. He bent her over the table.

"You've been teasing me for months in these tight jeans," Gibbs said gruffly, caressing her ass. He gave her a sharp smack and she yelped. "Now you're going to get what you deserve."

He intended to take his time worshipping every inch of her, but Y/N was having none of it. She looked over her shoulder at him with lustful eyes and begged "please, just take me!"

Well, who was he to deny such a polite request?

He freed myself from his own jeans. With one powerful thrust he was buried inside her tight heat. Y/N cried out, pushing back against him. Gibbs set a relentless pace, all the desire he’d bottled up spilling out.

"Harder!" she gasped. He obliged, gripping her hips bruisingly tight.

Gibbs could feel her getting close, inner muscles starting to flutter around him. He reached around to circle her clit and she shattered with a scream, her climax triggering his. He came hard, emptying himself deep inside her.

Later, they lay tangled together on a pile of blankets, her head pillowed on his chest. Idly trailing his fingers over her back, Gibbs pressed a kiss into her hair.

"What made you change your mind about us?" he asked.

Y/N tilted her face up to meet his gaze. "I saw the way you looked at me tonight. Like I was something precious. No one's ever looked at me like that before."

Gibbs' heart swelled and he pulled her close. "You are precious. And you're mine now."

She smiled softly. "Yours. As long as you'll have me."

"Forever then," he stated simply. Y/N's eyes shone at that and she snuggled into his embrace.

As Gibbs held the beautiful, reckless woman who had captured his heart, he sent up a silent thanks to whoever had brought her crashing into his life. With her by his side, the future seemed brighter than ever.

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Hi! I know the requests are closed, but for when you can take requests again, I would like if you could write as a kind of part two for "A second chance" Lucien's reaction when he meets his new little sister. I think it would be a very nice story. Thank you!

Couldn't hold myself back... This can be read as a standalone but the first part is here. 🥺✨

A second chance II

It ate at Helion for so long because he wanted to tell Lucien himself. Son or not. Father or not. The girl growing within you was his sister and Helion wasn't going to pretend that she was the only child. So he tried to invite Lucien over more than once, just the male had come up with every possible excuse to not come. So as the weeks went on Helion had just accepted that for now, this would have to be the way that it was and you tried to comfort your lover the best that you could but a thread of sadness lingered.

Your pregnancy stayed a secret for a couple of months. Helion was rather paranoid that someone might turn against him still. Especially with the new laws intertwining day and night courts. So it's a long way down the line when he's raising a glass at one of his big gatherings, hosting multiple courts. His speech is strong and captivating as always as he cheers to every high lord willing to create strong alliances. Until he's turning your way, a bright smile on his face, "And to my wife", he says, "Who's been carrying my babe for the past couple of months". You flash him a smile just a bright, hand instantly moving to rest on your tummy. Oh, how good if feel to need need to hold yourself back from running your fingers against your growing tummy. Loud applauses ring out and Helion's closest friends are there clapping his shoulders, laughter fills the room and it all finally starts to feel even more real. It's just the fact that Lucien's chair is now empty that makes your own heart sting a little.

And it's a couple of days later when the servant knocks gently on your office doors, pulling you away from some of the paperwork you agreed to cover for Helion. "My lady, you have a guest", your eyebrows knit together because you weren't waiting for anyone. Had your baby brain made you miss something? "What guests, Larry?", you say, scattering your meeting book, "Lucien Vanserra, my lady". Your body freezes. He never visits unless it was court-ordered.

Jumping right up you move out in the lower greeting hall that you assumed he would be waiting. And he is there. His deep red hair is such a contrast to the light interior. "Lucien", you call out softly and the male turns around quickly, nearly knocking the vase he was looking at over. He takes a steps forward and the guards instantly leap from their positions. But you lift your hand, "Out all of you", they all linger but the glare you send them is enough to make them think twice.

"My apologies", you say once again turning to Lucien, "Everyone's kind of protective", you chuckle slightly, watching Lucien's eyes fall onto your now round stomach. "Helion is a way for a couple more hours. If you'd like...", but Lucien is shaking his head. It was clear that whatever that's going on in his head had been clawing at him for some time. "Is it a boy...", he speaks up finally and you quickly shake your head, "No, a baby girl". Your hands caress the swell of your stomach and you can see the gleam that runs through Lucien's eyes.

"Are you safe? Is he not harming you?", the question feels so raw and you know those fears had been engraved there by no other than Beron. "Your father is excited to have a girl", you reassure him, "Should have seen him covered in pink paint yesterday". You chuckle under your breath slightly as the images of last night's nursery paint testing flowed into your head. You step closer to Lucien, reaching your hand out towards him, "You know Helion wanted to tell you in person but...", and he nods quickly, well aware that he was the one dismissing Helion's requests.

"I would love for her to have a brother", you mutter quietly, trying to keep your own emotions at bay, "or at least to tell her about you because you are family to us". Lucien sucks in a sharp breath. You can't imagine how hard it all must feel to him. Finding out that the monster torturing you had never even been your father.

The silence falls upon you both and you suddenly feel like you might have overstepped the boundaries. Until Lucien mutters quietly, "I would love to", he startles, "Love to be her brother". Your eyes softens, picking up with tears ever so slightly. You drew your hand closer to cup the younger male's face, his almost desperate eyes looking back at you.

"Give me your hand", you mumble, reaching out to Lucien till he slides his hand into yours. You quickly pressed his warm palm to the side of your stomach where you felt the light kick last. "That's your brother, stardust. The one Dad and I've been telling you about", Lucien lets out a surprised gasp when a tiny hand pushes against your skin. "She can recognize voices now so", Lucien is nodding desperately before saying, "Hey, little one. Sorry that I've been away but I'm here now... I'll protect you", that's enough to set the stream of tears flowing down your cheeks as you watch the two siblings interact. Once again feeling more than honored that you can bring a piece of true family into Lucien's life. "Stay for some tea", you ask the fireling softly and Lucien nods without a second thought.

And the surprise on Helion's face when he steps into the dining room. Fully prepared to bring a plate up for you to your chambers but instead he finds you and Lucien deeply lost in a conversation. And now he understands where all that extra love and happiness was coming from the bond. Lucien quickly stands up at the sight of Helion standing there but the high lord shakes his head, "There's no need for you to stand up, my boy". He catches your gleaming eyes, and his own heart leaps. "Lucien is staying for dinner", you say happily, to which Lucien throws you a genuine smile. Helion's heart nearly bursts because is this a step forward? Does it mean his son is willing to give him a chance? To give his family a chance? "Oh, and he doesn't agree with the guard placement", you mutter, making Lucien roll his eyes, "As eager as you to turn my home into a prison", you cross your arms over your chest playfully. Protective. Already so protective. "I'm more than happy to listen to his thoughts", Helion says and his eyes meet Lucien's. For the first time trying meets his son's gaze.

[areislol]

two worlds apart

ft— anyone

warning — mentions of character death, angst, pretty much self indulgent lmao

a/n— i just felt angsty today :) also i wrote this like you aren't in teyvat? you're you (obv) in this universe and they're just your comfort character. ik shifting is a thing so this is for my #icannotshiftforthelifeofme girlies. listened to ykwim when writing this as well.

wordcount. 683

sometimes you wish you were dead. it sounds blunt and quite, dramatic, yes. but not really when you remember that reincarnation may or may not be a real thing.

we have all heard of the word "soulmates". the idea of soulmates has been present in various traditions for centuries. the "concept" suggests that there is a special connection between two individuals that goes beyond physical attraction and emotional compatibility.

it is believed that these two people are connected by an invisible thread or string that can never be broken, no matter the distance or time. this thread binds them together, and their souls recognize each other even before they meet.

it is said that when soulmates find each other, they experience a sense of completion and fulfillment that they cannot find elsewhere. love itself is a powerful force that can bring people together, even when they are from different worlds. when two individuals are soulmates, their love transcends time and space.

now, death is a natural part of life, and it is something that everyone will experience at some point. while death is often associated with sadness and loss, while some people believe that it can also be a time of reunion with loved ones or, finally being with someone they have loved for so long in another world.

for those who believe in reincarnation, death is not the end, but rather a new beginning. it is an opportunity for the soul to move on to a new life and continue its journey. for some, the idea of being reunited with their soulmate after death brings comfort and solace.

they believe that when they die, they will be able to join their lover/comfort character from another world and be much happier than they ever were in this world. this gives them hope and a reason to keep going, even when times are tough.

for some, some may think it is absurd to even think about death in this way. you really want to die/are waiting for your death just because you want to be happier with your comfort character? how.. weird.

the heart is a mysterious thing, and sometimes it leads us down paths that we never thought possible. loving someone from another world can be a lonely road to travel, but it can also be one filled with wonder and amazement. our hearts may ache for this person that we cannot touch or hold, but the love we feel for them can give us a sense of purpose.

the pain of loving someone who is not real can be overwhelming, it really can. the thought of never being able to hold them or feel their warmth can be unbearable.

but in times of sorrow, the comfort and solace you find in loving them can be the only thing that gets you through. it's easy to dismiss this kind of love as make-believe, but it's not.

the heart doesn't discriminate and doesn't see boundaries at all. even though they are not real, the love you feel for them is. it's a feeling that is deep and real and can bring joy to your life.

just how long have you been yearning to feel their touch, to know what their kisses feel like, to see them face to face? a long, long time. and you know that. how many times have you cried into your pillow, just because you love them so much and that they aren't real?

sometimes the pain in your heart can become unbearable. The emptiness and the loneliness can consume you entirely, leaving you with nothing but despair. it's in those moments that you start to wonder if death would be a better alternative.

you imagine that if you passed away, you could be reunited with your lover from another world, a place where love is eternal and pure. you know that in that world, you would find comfort and solace, and your heart would finally be at peace.

because even though you two are two worlds apart, the love you hold for each other goes beyond measure.

WHAT IS UP W ME AND ANGST NOWADAYS?!??!

[silent-sanctum]

The Part 3 Dilemma

I have one of this random thoughts of mine and it's about one of the complaints about Stardust Crusaders

"I dropped at Part 3 because the plot dragged too long" "The Monster-of-the week trope made it boring"

Personally, I don't mind it (thanks to Jotaro's presence tbh). But I do understand why others feel that way. I feel like the reason Araki decided to stick with that set-up is because for one, it's a shonen series (a.k.a a manga who's targeted for young boys), and two that it's because it's his way of experimenting with a new power system.

So, you can't really blame a guy who wanted to test things out in the beginning rather than to focus on writing a more engaging story, more so when him knowing that the introduction of Stands and their powers was able to bring him the most commercial success.

But from a writer's perspective and someone who watches a lot of shows, I think what made SC such a sludge to get through is this part's lack of subplots.

What do I mean by that? Let me explain:

"A subplot is a narrative thread that is woven through the media to support the elements of the main plot. A subplot can build out the conflict in the main plot or it can be a vehicle for a secondary character's storyline."

Essentially, it's a method of fleshing out the story more by introducing the audience a side story to either tackle a theme that's related to the main plot or develop a character more to better understand their purpose in the story.

Now let's look at Part 3

The central point of this part is that a big bad has returned to wreak havoc on the Joestars and the world and it's the heroes' job is to get rid of him once and for all. It's odyssey-based where we get to see the guys go on this journey and fight the bad guys until they reach the final stage.

But because this part involves just that- the fighting bad guys part- for 40+ episodes, it bores the audience because of how repetitive it's becoming. There's nothing else it has going on for it to keep the audience engaged.

There's a significant lack of subplots to enhance their journey to Egypt.

Compare that to the other parts…

Part 4: A slice-of-life/murder mystery plot that focuses on the stories of its residents (e.g. Koichi's development, Okuyasu's family issues, Yukako's obssesion, Rohan's antics as a mangaka, Josuke's bond with Joseph), before tying them into the main plot in the second half (e.g. Reimi's murder, the involvement of the Stand arrow, focus on Kira's mind as a psychopathic serial killer) Part 5: Got to look into the past of each of Bucciarati's crew: Giorno and Bucciarati's childhood, Mista's pre-Stand user life, Abbachio's past as a cop, Diavolo and Trish's dynamic, Fugo's history with his anger issues. There's also the involvement of the Stand arrow, brief focus on La Squadra's perspective, etc. Part 6: Explores the characters of Ermes (seeking justice for the death of her sister), FF (their path of finding their identity), delving deep into DIO's psyche about "attaining heaven", Weather Report's history with Pucci and Perla, and the estranged bond between Jolyne and Jotaro.

This is Araki improving his craft but when we compare that to Part 3, we can see that P3 only got the "fighting enemies until we reach the boss" plot going on. And that's tedious to get past.

Sure we got one subplot going: Polnareff's quest of avenging the death of his sister.

His purpose of joining the Crusaders in the first place was to find the killer. It's been tackled for more than one episode and in the process, we see him form rapport with the allies he made while still sticking to his mission, allowing the audience to connect to the Frenchman more (even to the point where they start to joke that he's the main protagonist instead of Jotaro)

But what of the rest? What of the development of the other Crusaders?

Kakyoin and his past as a lonely child born with a Stand?

How Avdol met Joseph, and what his motivation was to continue working with the latter?

Maybe a subtle foreshadowing of Joseph's infidelity or how he's doing in New York prior to the quest?

Heck maybe even a background as to why Jotaro turned to delinquency when in the past, he's seen or viewed as a regular happy child who does well and is active in school?

Instead, what we got is Kak's past revealed as a last minute attempt to make us feel sympathy for him as he's dying, Avdol died without much going about him, Joseph is just there to be the secondary Jojo, and 3taro is most of the fandom's worst version of Jotaro because at a surface level, he's seen only as a rude standoffish teenager who does not emote for no reason.

We don't get to connect with the Crusaders as much or as deep because we don't know them outside of "we're here to defeat the big evil" and a bunch of fighting.

tldr: Not enough character development because there's too much of the "beat the bad guys and win"

I don't know. It's just my personal take because usually when I consume media, I tend to get hooked onto the story when there's mini stories that fleshes out the overarching theme.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[red-man-of-mustache]

Meet the Mun

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘɪᴄᴋ ᴜᴘ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴜʀʀᴇɴᴛ ᴍᴜꜱᴇ(ꜱ) ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ?

Mario has been a fixture in my life since my fifth birthday. Mario 64 was my first Mario game actually! There's just something about his happy-go-lucky attitude and ability to persevere that I find inspiring. Comforting even. Originally, I wasn't even eyeing tumblr but my girlfriend at the time all the way back in the prehistoric age of 2014 suggested I make a blog. I decided to pick up Mario on a whim and have stuck with him(on & off mind you) since!

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ?

Smut. Sometimes I find it to be cumbersome. I don't lead with this objection because sometimes it's over quickly but other times I'm just not into it. And angst! Angst exhausts me.

ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʀᴇᴀʟʟʏ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ?

Action! I love seeing how characters react in tense situation(despite what I just said about angst). I also like a bit of fluff because c'mon, I'm sure we could all use some relief from the outside world. It's kinda scary.

ʜᴏᴡ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ?

I try to start off slow. What I mean is I look at what we got in canon, side content(comics,shows, etc) and reasonably merge the concepts where they can mesh. Then I draw conclusions from that! Other times when I'm doing research on certain aspects on Mario's character such as plumbing, being a physician, his italian heritage, etc I pick parts from it and mentally labor over how they apply to him. Really, it's like a little Mario calculator is in my head and I see how the info I'm gathering reacts with what I already know.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ɪɴ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ?

Anytime I try writing with music doesn't end well. I always focus more on what I'm writing rather than the song. Podcasts work best.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘʟᴀɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴇᴘʟɪᴇꜱ ᴏʀ ᴡɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇᴍ?

I'm almost always winging it out. I open up the reply/draft and just let things flow.

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ꜱʜɪᴘᴘɪɴɢ?

I'd ship Mario with a tree if it could talk back.

ᴡʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀʟɪᴀꜱ/ɴᴀᴍᴇ?

Papa Pasta

ᴀɢᴇ?

Just turned 28!

ʙɪʀᴛʜᴅᴀʏ?

February 7th

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ(ꜱ)?

Lavender, red, and orange

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ(ꜱ)?

I got deep into Tame Impala a while ago. Favorite song by far from him: Cause I'm a man. Right after that is "New Person/Same Old Mistakes". Another favorite of mine is Close In The Distance from Final Fantasy XIV

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Final Destination. Wanted to see if it was as good as it was when I was a kid. Not disappointed.

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜᴇᴅ?

Centaur World! Very cute show

ʟᴀꜱᴛ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ?

On Melancholy Hill by Gorillaz

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜰᴏᴏᴅ?

Spaghetti & Meatballs!!!

ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴇᴀꜱᴏɴ?

Fall. I like watching the trees shed their leaves

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ?

Hmmmm, definitely have to say @thehouseofivo. Him & Julian have been with me since the very beginning. I'm having a little trouble remembering exactly how things started off between us but it's been so long! We've kept in contact outside of tumblr and things fell apart a few years ago when I was deep in my pit but we picked up right where we left off pretty much recently! He's a real nice guy and I'd do anything in my power to help him along! Give him a follow if you haven't already, you won't be disappointed! One thing I don't see too often on here is a coherent continuity. (If you know any other blogs that do this then pls pls pls tell me) Most threads he does will go into the development of Julian somehow.

tagged by NOBODY stolen from @lultimagoccia uhhhhhh I'mma tag @thehouseofivo @adara-of-the-flame @timid-plumber @atimelesslullaby @musescfmusic & anyone else who wants to steal it!

[qqueenofhades]

Hi! If you’re willing, I’m looking for your insight as an academic and generally very thoughtful person. I’ve been working for the last year and a half to get into my dream program, and I got in. Biggest accomplishment of my life, and something I was very convinced that I wouldn’t be able to do until the day I got my acceptance letter (and then some). I’m two weeks from the term start, I’ve moved overseas, moved into an apartment, am about to open a bank account and register with a GP and everything. But I’m not excited, and things don’t feel right. I can recognize my big mistake going into this is that I only had a vague idea of what I wanted to get out of the program, and even then I wasn’t sure whether I really wanted that, or if I’ve just been madly, madly curious. I wanted to learn and meet people in the field and finally get out of the rhythm of my small, devalued, hometown uni. But afterward? Not a clue. And now I’m second guessing the idealistic thoughts I once had, that this education and this experience will be worth my savings in the end, even if a career doesn’t ever really come out of it. Now I ask myself, after all the work and money (and tears) I’ve already put into it, “Is it worth it?”

I’m meeting with the career advisor at my alma mater (career services there is a one-woman office) this evening, hoping she might help me reach some clarity. I haven’t been able to reach any advisors at my new uni yet, being as it is so big with so many students to correspond with (there are as many students here as there are people in my hometown, which I’m still failing to wrap my arms around).

My thoughts are pretty tangled, and I apologize for the rambling nature of this ask, but I hope there’s a thread here that you can follow. I spent all my life dreaming of leaving my little midwestern life only to find myself in the uni of my dreams wondering whether any of this is going to be worth it (and feeling rather homesick for my little midwestern life). These days just don’t feel like a good time to ship yourself off to school for the sole sake of learning, unless you know what you want out of it all in the long run. But that’s enough from me…

Welp. First of all, take a deep breath. It's totally understandable that you're in a bit of a scramble right now, everything feels weird and unsettled, and some amount of "oh god what have I done??" is entirely normal. When I first went abroad to the UK for my junior year in college, as a naive little 20-year-old also from a fairly small suburban town, I absolutely had the "oh fuck I'm terrified what have I done" feeling on the first night (I remember it very well). Then the next day hit, and I was like "oh yeah this is great I'm good to go" and didn't look back. I'm not saying it will be that complete or that soon for you, but the whole moving-overseas business is HARD (I did it again for my PhD, moving to a city I had never been before to start a doctorate program, even if I had already been in the UK) and it really screws your head up. So while I understand the panic and the need to wonder what the hell you're doing, please know that some entry shock and homesickness is normal and can be dealt with, and doesn't mean that you have in fact totally fucked yourself over.

Next, I think it's very important to also remember that your options are more than just "leave right now and go home" or "go through it to the end no matter what." I do think it's important to attend at least a full semester of the program, to see if the culture shock wears off and you discover your groove -- after all, you HAVE worked so hard to get here, and until you experience that for real and not just in the abstract, you don't know if it is in fact right for you. In my experience, people also develop clarity as they go; i.e. it's all right if you don't have the full picture just yet, or can't precisely articulate what it is that you expect to do here. That is something that will only come with experience, and if at the end of your first year, things still don't feel right or aren't clicking, you can reassess your options then, before you're so committed that you can't pull out. But yeah, I do think it's important to get over the first "aaaaaaaaah" reaction, find your feet, try some things out, and see how it feels. If it's still not your thing after that, then hey -- at least you know for sure.

[starlitangels]

Hi! Could you possibly be able to do a fluff fic of paradise and yargwin of when they found out paradise is pregnant? (Just saying I'm pretty new on tumbler)

Thank you

Welcome to Tumblr! Be safe!

Sure, let's give this a shot

—

"Paradise? Paradise—I'm home!" Yargwynn called. I flinched at how loud the shout was when I was way too close to the door for him to need to be that loud.

"Hi," I greeted.

Yargwynn jumped a bit. "Oh. Sorry. Didn't realize you were right there," he said. I chuckled. He crossed over and wrapped his hands around my hips. I let him pull me close and press kisses all over my face before he finally made his way to my lips. I kissed him back. When he pulled back, his eyebrows were knitted together. "Are you alright, paradise?" he asked.

I nodded. "I'm fine. Why?"

"You're shaking. Just a little."

I looked away, taking a step back and breaking his grip on my hips. "Darling, there's something we should probably talk about," I said.

Yargwynn blinked. Fear tilted his eyebrows and wrinkled his forehead. "What is it?"

"You should probably sit down," I said.

Yargwynn sank into one of our kitchen chairs, resting an arm on the table. "What's going on?"

I took a deep breath. "You know how I haven't been feeling too well recently and we kept thinking it was that shellfish we tried cooking?"

"Yeah."

"You know how even weeks after the shellfish got thrown out, I still have lingering symptoms?"

"Yeah..."

"I figured it out this morning."

"Okay. What's wrong?"

I licked my lips, realizing how dry my mouth had suddenly gotten. "Yargwynn, darling, I, uh... I..." I swallowed the lump trying to form in my throat. Just tell him, I thought to myself harshly. "I'm pregnant."

His jaw dropped.

Slowly, carefully, I lifted up my shirt to show that it had taken me long enough to realize what was going on that I was already starting to show—just a tiny little bit. Something in the alien part of my hybrid genetics had always left me fairly thin. A metabolism that burned inhumanly fast. Coupling that with loose shirts and rarely looking in mirrors, I hadn't even noticed the bump forming for a long time.

Yargwynn stood up so fast the table screeched over the floor and he knocked his chair over. "Holy Untempora," he whispered. He held one hand out toward my belly. "May I?"

I nodded.

Gently, he put his callused hand on my belly. A quiet gasp escaped his mouth, and when he met my eyes, there were tears in his. "We're going to have a baby?"

"We're going to have a baby," I replied breathlessly.

"Oh, paradise!" he whispered. His other hand cradled my face and brought it close to his so he could kiss me. I kissed him back enthusiastically, threading my fingers into his hair and holding him close. "We're going to have a baby! I—I can't—I can hardly believe it."

I brushed a tear off his face with my thumb. "Why are you crying, Yargwynn?"

"They're happy tears, I promise," he said. "A... a family. With you. It's just... everything I want."

"Everything I want too. A simple life with you and a family." I kissed him again.

He kissed me back before bending down to kiss my belly. "Can't wait to meet you, Baby Paradise."

"Or Baby Yargwynn," I pointed out.

"Oh God, I hope not. I'd rather have a kid who's more like you than me. I think a kid like me would give me a heart attack."

I laughed. "Guess we'll see, darling."

[stainedglassthreads]

I think I know what kind of theme and overall message Genshin Impact is trying to go for. 

Over a year ago, before Inazuma came out, I wrote a post discussing how all the Archons so far had had strong themes of grief, humanity outgrowing the need for them. The grief theme holds very true with Ei and Nahida. For Ei, the death of Makoto lead to a long period of depression, which she’s only now starting to move forward from. Said depression is the root of a number of her mistakes that went on to create problems for Inazuma and Teyvat, such as the abandonment of Scaramouche and the manipulations of the Fatui. (And if not for the Sacred Sakura, even worse things may have come to pass.) 

As for Nahida, it’s not so much her own grief. Rather, Sumeru’s grief for Rukkhadevata casts a long shadow over her. Because she can’t be a perfect replacement for Rukkhadevata, it’s led to her being overlooked and neglected, developing a host of insecurities about her abilities to be a good Archon and protect what few followers she has, let alone all of Sumeru. She’s not allowed to be her own person and properly grow into her role, because she fails at immediately and flawlessly replacing what was lost. 

While Ei needs to learn how to move on from Makoto, the people of Sumeru, namely, the Akademiya, needs to learn how to move on from Rukkhadevata. 

Now we come to the Aranara worldquest. The various World Quests, including Sacred Sakura Cleansing Ritual, A Company Vanishing Into the Deep, and Dream Nursery, have told us far more about the Cataclysm than any Archon or Character Quest. Furthermore, a very strong theme of memory has been threaded through each of these World Quests, being the most prevalent in Dream Nursery, which features the Aranara, whose power and fluency in the human language directly scale with memory. 

Aranara seem to have a particular philosophy about memory. Old, bad memories should be forgotten. Precious, happier memories should be made to replace them. But friends are more important than memories, because you can always make new memories with those friends. From A Company Vanishing Into the Deep, and from Alphonso at the very end of Dream Nursery, though, we get perhaps the exact opposite philosophy: to never, ever forget the Cataclysm, because it’s still an ongoing calamity. Grow up and see what the world has to offer, but never forget the darkness you’ve experienced. 

It makes it even more poignant then that the Aranara word for the Abyss, Marana, seems to translate to ‘the memory of death.’ 

The Aranara advocate for healing by letting go of bad memories and making new ones. But both the Fatui and the Abyss Order cling onto their traumas, grief, grievances, and grudges. The Tsaritsa and the Abyss Twin both want to seek vengeance against Celestia. But while Celestia may not be blameless either in this conflict, I don’t think they’re the big bad anymore. 

I think the Abyss is going to become the main antagonist. And I think the story is going to require the Tsaritsa and the Abyss Twin to... I don’t wanna say forgive and forget, because I still don’t know what EXACTLY Celestia’s sins were. But I think they’re going to need to learn to move on from their grudges. Anger can be constructive, but clinging to it can be toxic. And I think that’s what the Abyss is-- the toxic and corrosive force of clinging to grief and anger. And so long as the Tsaritsa and the Abyss Twin keep causing so much destruction and collateral damage in the search for rebellion and redemption, prioritizing old memories over the people they swore to protect, they’re just going to continue to empower the true threat-- the Abyss. 

Related past analyses, for full context: 

My analysis about the Archons and grief. 

Analysis of Fatui mindset from A Company Vanishing Into the Deep. 

[ammonitetheseaserpent]

New fic? More likely than you think.

This one in particular goes out to @i-am-megalodonna, as the inspiration for it came from her Collector’s Curse AU.

Setting takes place post-OTWAT.

Enjoy!

Do You Ever Get a Little Bit Tired of Life?

—

King couldn’t sleep.

That was the first thing that caught the Collector’s eye as they glanced around the space Luz and the others shared with their new CATT allies. Everyone else was sound asleep, but King was shuffling and muttering and couldn’t seem to keep his eyes closed for more than a minute.

An opportunity.

“King?” the Collector prodded, keeping their voice hushed. The young Titan didn’t stir. The Collector tried a different tactic, briefly waving a hand in front of his face.

That did it. King jerked back with a startled “weh?” his eyes wide and alert until they finally landed on the Collector.

“Oh.” King blinked. “Um. Hi?” He eyed the Collector’s floating silhouette with a mild, wary curiosity.

“Hey,” the Collector replied. “There’s… something I wanna say.”

King stared at him blankly as they spoke. “I, uh. Can’t actually hear you.”

Ah. Well. That’s gonna be an obstacle, the Collector mused. After a moment of thinking, an idea struck him. With a flick of his hand, he conjured words next to him, reading “How’s this?”

King gave a tiny nod of affirmation.

Now came the hard part. The Collector fidgeted for a moment, trying to puzzle out how they could put what they wanted to convey into words. Finally they wrote out, “I just wanted to apologize for…” a pause, “…what they tried to do.”

King stared at the words, looking briefly perplexed, then his face lit up in realization. “Oh. Oh. That…” He scratched the back of his skull, as if not sure how to respond. “Um. Thanks?”

The Collector gave a sheepish nod of acknowledgment.

A long silence stretched out between the two young deities, until King finally broke it. “I’m curious, did you… know any Titans?” A tentative hope noticeable in his voice, he added, “Maybe- did you know my dad?”

The Collector winced. That was a story he’d rather not get into, especially with so much hanging in the balance. He simply spelled out, “You could say that. He and I had a little…” brief moment of fidgeting, “disagreement.”

“Ah.” King subsided, looking a bit like he regretted asking the latter part of the question.

A sudden, curious thought prodded the Collector. “Wait. Are you asking these questions about Titans because you just found out you’re one?”

That seemed to strike a chord. King fidgeted, eyeing the floor. “Yeah,” he admitted, his voice a little smaller, a little more… lost. “It still feels a bit… weird, honestly. I’m this- important, godlike creature, and I just- really don’t know if that’s gonna be a good thing or not. People are already starting to treat me differently, like I’m on a different level - because I am. I’ve been hunted down like I’m some big, scary monster that needs to be ‘dealt with’. What if- what’ll I do if people I care about start to fear me? Or what if everyone starts looking to me for all the answers, even if I don’t have them at all?” King shivered slightly, curling into himself. “I don’t want any of that. I just… I just wanna be with my family.”

This sudden outpouring was followed by a long, uneasy silence, and the Collector could feel its weight. What was there to say to something like that? And yet, unexpectedly, they also felt a pang of kinship towards the young Titan. Turning to look over at Luz, and the crimson thread that tethered them to their human friend, something in King’s final statement resonated with something else, deep inside the star child.

Slowly, gently, the Collector lowered his shadowy form until he was sitting beside King. Just underneath the other’s line of sight, he reached over and spelled out in smaller words: “I know what you mean.”

King raised his head, regarding the Collector with surprise. “You do?” He got a nod in response.

The Collector didn’t elaborate further, and King did not ask them to. Instead, he curled back up on the wooden floor and closed his eyes. There seemed to be a subtle air of peace that wasn’t there before, and the Collector got the feeling that sleep would come easier for the young Titan now.

[roxo4me]

Ugh.. This new twitter migration is giving me a headache. I have been deep diving into website alternatives. Here's the things I have found. Tried to take them in the order I would use, although that's is wholly my opinion

Tumblr

I'm gonna keep being on tumblr. Wether or not I go to other sites. While tumblr shows sign of being "algorithmd" it's all optional. So as long as it stays that way I have no reason to leave

Pillowfort

I have actually not found anything bad on this one. It also seems to be owned by a company which is great. It even started on Tumblr! Either way, it's small for now and because of how non-algorithmd it seems to be they don't seem to be very business first. Which is good for usage! Bad for growth.

I'll probably join this one, I'll come back to this thread if I find something bad I guess

Vtubers.me

This seems like an okay alternative, has been running for a while too. Sadly it is 100% owned by 1 person. Which will always have the same issues of sudden implosion, stupid standards or simple malpractice.

This person has been under fire due to a drama fight with a trans person. For the most part it seems resolved, but it has shown a couple of red flags. Example that they seem to have very weird views on trans, while not outright malicious they seem very uninformed and for example against transkids.. They are also EXTREMELY personally involved in their product. As to say they could totally ban you for disagreeing with you.

I would however rather bet on 1 random person than 1 random rich person trying to cash grab. Sadly the website itself is more targeted to Vtubers than Vtuber audiences so it has a very niche reach

Co-Host

These weirdos will tell you nothing. They run fully on charity and for some reason people accept "not telling you how we control and decide things worth" as a positive?!?! Anyway, they are very selective with accounts and very secretive about all innerworkings of the site. I would not trust, but nothing EXCEPTIONALLY bad has come forth yet. I.e. Nothing bad but nothing good either.

Mastodon

While a great server hosting program it is no different than being on private forums. Any owner has FULL control of all content therein. This includes if someone wants to do something less than legal on their server as Mastodon themselves takes NO responsibility for their content.

Have not found any group owned servers yet although this for sure isn't the worst alternative

Spoutible

Yeah.. This is just Twitter but Black. As in the owner is still a too rich, soulless, micromanaging, manipulating, criticism flaming pile of poop, but black this time...

Oh, and has had known crypto dealings

Hive

Stay away from this thing. It's closer to malware than a social media site.

Here's some sources

- Pillowfort

https://fanlore.org/wiki/Pillowfort

- Vtubers.me

https://twitter.com/nekolivt/status/1642753744679890944

- Co-host

https://alternativeto.net/software/cohost/about/

https://uk.pcmag.com/social-media/143905/cohost

- Spoutible

https://medium.com/@kayveebee/spoutible-the-safe-space-thats-anything-but-792299e92ae0

https://social.linux.pizza/@thomasafine/109905298796431794

[streetslost]

@boriys ( don't mind making a new thread for our thread, i didn't use beta apparently on my first post and so trim reblogs was not functioning so jUST STARTING A NEW ONE TO AVOID THE ANNOYANCE- ) cont.

               IF ONLY SCREAMING INTO THE OBLIVION was a viable way of solving problems.  of doing more than just providing a release from the energy and anger; a TEMPORARY one.  a bottle screwed tightly shut yet somehow still always filling back up, thriving and pushing and growing all the more intense with every day that passed.  it was a slow buildup, perhaps, but still an ever forming danger.  to herself, to others... the b u r s t whenever it happened was sudden and intense.  was sharp and powerful.  cat feared her own edges, not that such an addmittance would ever leave her.  she couldn't afford to nestle in concerns ( literally and figuratively ).  survival was maintained, and the forced smile, the forced bravery against every little thing would forever get yanked into place.  until she shattered and split and broke and took anyone nearby down with her.          over and over and over and over... a cycle, a repetition, a drumbeat keeping the rhythm of a song.  inescapable.  at least for now, though the street rat hadn't done much to try and alleviate herself from the routine.  just suffer and wane.  just d e c a y.  ( she deserved it, she did, no one wanted her, no one needed her, she was just a waste of space, taking up air, taking up room, wasting food, was-  wait what? )                      attention snapped back to him, and frustration etched her features at the comment provided.  her height was a sensitive subject.  it was a sign of her poor health, of her life falling into ruins.  he couldn't have known that from a glance, but cat still grated her teeth together, the huff audible through gritted teeth.  words remained trapped behind the whites, where lips carved once more into her HALF crazed grin, instead managing to distract herself with the yell he would unleash himself.  it was similar but different.  his looks mirrored as such, as well.  clearly on the road, but not for as long.  there was still something fresh about the vibe he held.  or perhaps it was simply the fact he didn't seem trodden as she.

       "thinking tha' doesn't mean much," dry tone slipped out.  features finally eased, and apathy resumed its play.  the comment of her stature hadn't been forgotten, but brunette decided to let it slip... briefly.  it wasn't like he was stating anything WRONG, just a fact that she despised.  tongue swiped her lips, the cracks of dry flesh stinging with the sensation.  "people will hear someone in distress and do nothing unless it benefits them.  but guess i'd still rather do it out here where there's less likely t'be any sort of attention.  why you out here?"                  perhaps she knew the answer... perhaps not.  regardless, cat filled the void with her inquiry, hands still shoved deep in her pockets and tennis shoes scuffing the ground in effort to kick a rock down along the track.

[novantinuum]

top 5 side characters (from anything at all)

Oooooh side characters... that's a good question... I think I'll pick my fav side character from my most recent fandoms, one from each.

5) (Doctor Who) Missy- This incarnation of the Master is always very fun to watch, because her actress Michelle Gomez absolutely spends every second chewing the scenery clear off the walls. I also always enjoyed how they gave her a clear character arc in the seasons she appeared in- plus, it was lovely to see an incarnation of the Master who wasn't clear-cut "evil" as past ones have been, but rather Chaotic Neutral, and just in the game for the benefit of herself.

4) (The Legend of Zelda) Revali. A lot of the gaming community drags on this one, but I think there's a ton of interesting threads one can pull from what little we get of him in BotW canon that lend towards a fascinating picture of an incredibly insecure young warrior who's lashing out against someone (Link) who he sees as gaining everything he ever wanted but never working a second for it, as opposed to his hard, years-long struggle in perfecting his special flying ability. It's sad, in the end- because had he realized that Link was burdened by his own destiny and worked just as hard as he had to himself feel "deserving" of it, I bet they might've been able to find something to connect over, and became friends.

3) (The Adventure Zone) Barry Bluejeans- Goddammnit, FUCK YOU BARRY BLUEJEANS for having such a stupid ass name and making me CRY over you in just one 5 minute prologue! I really, really love this NPC... there's such a deep tragedy to his story- losing his wife and his whole found family and not even being able to remember that they're gone while in human form- and yet, every time he dies and goes back into lich form and remembers it all, still he manages to pick himself up and try again. Work harder. Work smarter. Set himself up for success each time he clones himself and returns to his human form to make his plan work. He fights tirelessly for YEARS without an ounce of thanks just because he loves his family and the world they've entered so much that he wants to make sure they'll all be safe, in the end. What a man.

2) (Gravity Falls) Fiddleford McGucket- For such an otherwise funny but unremarkable joke character back in season 1, it was amazing how the writers were ultimately able to transform him into such a tragic figure, and utilize him to give context to why the whole town literally pays no heed to any of the weirdness going on all around them. He's the sort of character who gives the show amazing re-watch energy- at this point, when I go back through the show, every single appearance he has just makes me feel incredibly sad- AND a lot of his otherwise "random" or "quirky" characteristics start to make a lot more sense. He's a man who lives in the dump, but is capable of building incredibly complex machines?" He's a literal genius mechanic who's simply gone through severe memory slippage. Said memory slippage? Self-inflicted by a memory erasing device he invented himself. Said memory erasing device? Has been used in the years since to purge the town of their memories of the supernatural. His backstory blasts open a whole new door of lore possibilities in this show. Love him.

1) (Steven Universe) Connie Connie Connie Connie Connie- Connie, my LOVE- I feel like by the end of the show she's grown into more of a main character than just a side, but that shows perhaps just HOW much wonderful development she gets throughout her journey. She grew from a timid young girl unsure of herself and her place in the world around her, to a fierce teen who has purpose, ambitions, and has a whole constellation of connections and confidants ready to cheer her on. I'm really proud of her <3

Every single time she showed up on screen for a new episode I got like, indescribably happy and went "damn this is going to be a good one," and basically every single SU reactor I've seen has had the same experience, so I think that alone shows how beloved Connie is, and how well written a character she is too. It's always great to have such a grounded presence amidst characters living in a world of fantasy.

[reagan-harding]

“What do you want me to say?”

There was desperation to her voice now. Reagan had repeated the same sentence over and over for what felt like hours, to the point where she wasn’t sure she was even speaking English anymore. Maybe it was Greek? She should technically still be in Greece right now, but she’d screwed that up. Somehow started a fire that needed to be put out despite being 4,921 miles away from home.

Reagan lied to… everyone. Cited her dad overlooking important meetings as the reason for their early return, but really, it was her fault. While there was no access to their work portals on the islands, a clerk from their office had the decency to let them know what was going on. Forwarded the offending images an unknown source decided to spread around to their emails that had them boarding the first available flight home to New York.

Admittedly, Reagan posted far more revealing photographs to her own social media, but this was different. It was clear from the photos that she was inebriated, potentially strung out on something she’d decided to get just a small taste of that night. It was some kind of event. An unknown man was cozied up to her, his hand settled too high along the exposed flesh of her thigh for it to be deemed innocent. Bottles and elicit paraphernalia littered the surface of the table before them. While Reagan could claim innocence, it would do nothing to help her case when the evidence seemed to claim otherwise.

“What do you want me to say?” She repeated.

Since returning home, Reagan hadn’t seen her father. She chose instead to hide away for the remainder of the weekend with Amir. She’d dodged Benjamin’s calls and emails until finally he’d caught up with her Tuesday morning, dragging her into his office with a scowl on his face so deep it had her shrinking down into her seat in shame, like a toddler caught with their hand in the cookie jar.

Benjamin didn’t answer her question. Instead, he slammed his phone down onto the desk before her, the email containing the photos of her in plain view. She could see the long list of employees the email included. Other council members, judicial staff, directors and department heads. Even the President Judge. It would be a small saving grace if the Mayor himself wasn’t included on the thread.

“I didn’t agree to these being taken! I d– I don’t even remember when this happened. It had to be months ago? It was harmless. I just…” Reagan sputtered. It didn’t help her case, but it should count for something, right? She would say anything to try and stop him from looking at her with his disapproving gaze.

“You’re going to attend substance abuse counseling.” Benjamin started, his hand raising to silence her as Reagan began to voice her discontent. “You’re going to volunteer your time to neighborhood clean up services.” He continued, his voice only growing louder with each word, once more silencing Reagan as she attempted to speak out over him, to sway his decision. “You’re going to volunteer your time and energy to each District’s Mental Health and Addiction committees and you will do it with a smile on your face because we can’t have another situation like with your brother. You know how this world works, Reagan. Reputation…it’s everything and you’ve jeopardized mine.”

Reagan recognized the dismissal the instant Benjamin turned from her, his focus once more on his work rather than his only daughter. There was nothing that could be done to change his mind, to sway his opinion of her. Anything she said would fall on deaf ears, but she still had to physically force herself to bite back the retort that he knew damn well she didn’t have a problem and that maybe things with his son would’ve ended differently had he been treated like a human being rather than an extension of their father’s perfect image.

Raising herself from the seat, Reagan strode from the office knowing all she could do now was work to portray herself as an angel, for the sake of their reputation.

[sequinsmile-x]

The Way Home - Chapter 12

A fresh start. That’s what she needed. Not the turn of a page, or a new chapter, but a brand new book.

She left everything behind, and just hoped that she had better things ahead.

A Hotchniss College AU

-x-

Words: 4.4k

Warnings: Discussion of drug and alcohol addiction

Full list of warnings and previous chapters can be found on the Series Master List

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

She missed him. It felt ridiculous, the longing she felt for Aaron that lingered just beneath the surface, making her skin tingle in a way she had never experienced before. She had seen him the night before. A quick conversation and an even quicker kiss in the hallway between their apartments, his front door propped open by his foot in case Jack called for him, the little boy tucked up in his bed for the night. 

Emily knew that Aaron’s first priority was his son and that was something that made even more affection for him build in her chest, taking up space she didn’t know she had left. He wanted to tell Haley about the two of them before he told Jack, before she could be introduced to the little boy as his girlfriend, and she understood. It left her feeling nervous, anxiously awaiting Aaron’s return so she could hear how the conversation with Haley went, his promise to come straight to hers from the night before echoing around in her head.

She distracts herself by attempting to study, and when that doesn’t work she switches on the tv, smiling as an episode of Deep Space Nine appears on the screen, a guilty pleasure she still hadn’t admitted to her boyfriend. 

There’s a knock on her door, and she mutes the tv, rolling her eyes when there's another knock only seconds later, desperation echoing throughout her apartment.

“Aren’t you always telling me to be patient-” she says as she pulls the door open, not bothering to look through the peephole as she does so, and her words come to a stop as she looks at the man standing on the other side. He looks worse than the last time she’d seen him, something she didn’t think was possible, his skin drawn and pale, a nervous energy about him that she recognised. “Matthew?”

“Hey Em,” he says, his thumbnail between his teeth as he walks past her, and enters her apartment like she’d invited him, his shoulder bumping into hers on the way past. “It’s been a while.” 

She stares at him for a second, her mouth open in slight disbelief as she closes the door, only taking a few steps towards him, leaving plenty of space between the two of them. The last time she’d seen him was after he got arrested for stealing from her, cash and jewellery she never saw again, a necklace with a bird pendant from her grandfather that could never be replaced. 

“How did you get my address?” She asks, crossing her arms over her chest, watching him as he looks around her apartment, at her belongings, as he paces around.

“That’s quite the way to greet an old friend, Em.” He replies, looking at her, a smile on his face that once made her feel safe, that had led her through some of her darkest days. 

“Matthew.” She says through gritted teeth, gripping her arm tightly, trying to hold herself together without giving away too much of how she felt to him. 

He sighs, finally stopping his pacing and stands near her couch. 

“Your mother. I called and asked, I was surprised to find out you never told her about what happened.” He replies, raising an eyebrow at her. 

“Yeah, well,” she sighs, blowing out a breath, “that would have started us down a road I never want to go down with her.” 

She’d thought about it. Thought about confessing where the necklace that she had always worn had actually gone, rather than an on the spot made up lie about losing it during her move to college. It was a thread she couldn’t pull at with her mother though, knowing she’d then have to explain that Matthew had a drug problem, and what had caused it. Why she felt as if she owed him the help she had been giving him right up until that moment. 

The chastisement over being careless with a precious gift from her deceased grandfather was worth her mother never finding out about what had happened in Rome. 

She clears her throat and looks at her old friend. “What are you doing here Matthew? I made it very clear what you need to do when I had the charges dropped if we’re going to rebuild our friendship,” she swallows thickly, grief and guilt clogging her throat in equal measure, “you’re clearly withdrawing,” she says, shaking her head at him, “so…I’m guessing you’re here for money?” 

“Just this once, Em, I promise.” He replies, desperation colouring his tone, his body almost vibrating with it. 

She laughs, but it comes out more like a sob. “I can’t. You know that. I’ll pay for whatever rehab you want,” she says, repeating the same offer she had given him time and time again, “but I am not giving you money.” 

Emily sees it happen, the switch from the sweet, kind boy who had saved her life when she was alone and scared, to the person he was when he was like this. Cruel in a way she’d never expected, his addiction wearing down all the parts of him that she had once known, buried underneath everything he’d experienced the last few years. 

“After everything I did for you?” He snarls, his eyes hardening, his jaw tense. “You ruined my life, Emily. You couldn’t keep it in your fucking-” 

“You’ve got to leave, now,” Emily half shouts, ignoring the tears she feels pressing at the back of her eyes. “Or I will call the cops.”

“Like you did last time?” He replies angrily, taking a step toward her. He blows out a breath to calm himself, his voice more even as he continues,  “all I want to do is talk.”

There’s a pounding on the door and it makes her jump, her shock immediately soothed by the sound of Aaron calling through it. 

“Emily?” He yells, knocking again, “Emily it’s Aaron, let me in.”

She immediately turns to the door to open it, barely taking a step in its direction when Matthew calls after her. 

“Don’t open the door,” he says, panic now completely replacing the anger that had been there moments before. 

“I have to,” Emily replies, over her shoulder as she walks towards the door, “it’s my boyfriend, if I don’t he’ll knock the damn door down.”

She pulls the door open and feels relief the moment she sees him, the calm he was always able to bring her washing over her like a cool breeze on a warm day. He reaches for her, his palm on her cheek, his eyes darting all over her face like he was looking for injuries, and she briefly wonders if he thought she was in here with Ian.

“Em, are you alright? What’s going on?” He asks quickly, his words tripping over each other. She smiles at him tightly in a way she hopes he understands, a silent promise she’d explain at least some of it later, and she grabs his hand. She interlinks their fingers and pulls, encouraging him into her apartment, the door closing gently behind them. 

She watches as Aaron and Matthew size each other up, staring at each other for a few seconds that feel like they last forever. 

“Questo è il tuo ragazzo, Emily? Sicuramente un aggiornamento rispetto all'ultimo.” Matthew says, a smirk on his face that has Aaron taking a step forward despite the fact she knows he doesn’t understand what has been said. A firm squeeze of her hand around his stops him in his tracks.   

“Stai zitto, prima che chiami la polizia,” Emily she spits back at him, knowing he would have spoken in Italian for no other reason than to test if Aaron understood. She turns to her boyfriend and switches to English, a sad smile on her face. “Aaron,” she breathes out, her voice as unsteady as he had ever heard it, “this is Matthew, an old friend of mine,” she looks back at Matthew, her jaw clenched tight, and she wraps her spare hand around Aaron’s arm, gripping his tricep tightly, “he was just leaving.” 

“Forse dovrei rimanere,” Matthew says, his eyes boring into hers, “Aaron ed io possiamo parlare. Forse su Roma.”

The threat shocks her, something she never thought he’d throw back in her face. It makes her entire body tense in a way she knows Aaron doesn’t miss. She’s frozen in place, only able to feel Aaron squeeze her hand before he disentangles himself from her, closing the gap between them and Matthew.

“She asked you to leave,” Aaron says firmly, his hand on Matthew’s shoulder as he pushes him towards the door. Hands using force she knew they were capable of but had never been used on her, his touch always treating her like she was made of something delicate.  “I suggest you do before we call the cops.” 

“Fine I’ll go,” Matthew says, shrugging Aaron off of him as he gets to the door, opening it with more force than necessary as he turns back to them, sending Emily another smirk as she turns to look at them, “this one seems good, lets hope he doesn’t go crazy on you too.” 

Aaron closes the door in his face before he can say anything else, locking it and sliding the chain across so it was secure. The silence in the apartment seems overwhelming the moment they are alone, Aaron turns to look at her, a question forming on his tongue that dies before he can ask it. 

She covers her mouth to try to suppress the sob that escapes, her emotions finally taking over. She stands, almost rooted to the spot as she cries. It’s barely a second later that she’s wrapped up in Aaron’s embrace, his arms banding around her in a hug that if it was any tighter she’d struggle to breathe. She slips her arms around him, her hands fisting in the back of his shirt, trying to find something to ground herself as she cries into his neck, his soft assurances almost drowned out by her sobs. 

“It’s ok, baby,” he says, kissing the top of her head, his hand rubbing comforting circles on her back, “you’re safe. He’s gone. Want to sit down?” 

All she's capable of is nodding in return, barely letting him pull away from her as he leads them to the couch, sitting down as he settles her into his lap, holding her to him with the strength that felt like what she assumed home felt like. He simply holds her, running his hands through her hair, whispering reassurances to her until she calms down, her sobs coming to a stop as she wipes away tears from her cheeks that are immediately replaced. 

“I’m sorry,” she says, her words shaking as she reaches for his hand. 

“You have nothing to apologise for,” he replies, shifting so he can look at her, wiping tears from her cheeks, “do you want to talk about it?”

Her only response to that is a hoarse chuckle, knowing that her answer was both yes and no, that there were things she didn’t want to tell him yet, the fear that he’d look at her differently feeling all too real. 

“Our parents were stationed in Rome at the same time,” she says, sniffing as she looks down at their joint hands, “we were 15, and we were close,” she lays her head on his shoulder, still avoiding his eye contact, “we stayed friends for a while when we both made it back to the US but…we went down different paths.” She explains carefully.

“He got into drugs?” He asks, and it makes her look up at him, her eyebrow creased in question, “he was clearly withdrawing from something.”

“Yeah,” she replies, smiling tightly at him, “he wanted money, and I used to give it to him,” she sighs, and she sees him frown, his mouth open to say something that she cuts off, “I know I shouldn’t have but…we have a complex past and I felt like…” she drifts off, unsure how to tell him that she felt like she owed Matthew, that she still did. “I realised I wasn’t actually helping him, so I cut him off. Offered to use money from my trust fund to pay for rehab.” She blows out a long breath, chuckling humourlessly, “and then he stole from me.” 

“Jesus, Em,” Aaron replies sympathetically, the hand on her back still rubbing soothing circles.

“$200 that I happened to have laying around, and a necklace from my dead grandfather,” she explains, “I called the cops and he was arrested, I dropped the charges and hoped it would be enough to make him see the light but…”

“It wasn’t.” He finishes for her as she trails off, her voice thick again with more tears that threatened to fall.

“No, it wasn’t.” 

They fall into a contemplative silence before he squeezes her hand, and gains her attention before he continues. 

“Addiction is complicated, people won’t be able to change until they are ready to,” he says, and she looks curiously at him, tilting her head slightly, “My dad was an alcoholic,” he explains, his lips set in a firm line. 

“Oh,” she replies, sensing there was far more to the story, more than he was willing to tell her at this stage, but she doesn’t pry, doesn’t ask any follow-up questions just like she doesn’t want him to ask any of her, “He never used to be like that,” she says instead, smiling sadly at him, “I wish you could meet the real Matthew.” 

He kisses her forehead, gathering her against his chest. “Maybe one day I will.” 

She smiles against him, the thought of a future with him warming her from the inside, a tiny bit of joy making its way through the cracks that this evening had caused in her heart. 

“Yeah, maybe you will,” she replies, turning her head to press a kiss into his neck. “I didn’t even get to ask you how it went with Haley.” 

“About as well as I expected,” he says, smiling down at her, “she said I seem happy.” 

She smiles up at him, feeling the dried tear tracks crack on her cheeks as she does. “Oh yeah?” 

He hums in response, leaning down to kiss her, full and lush against her lips. “Oh yeah, you make me very happy, Emily.”

She cups his cheek, pulling him in for another kiss. “You make me happy too.” 

He tucks some of her hair behind her ear, his thumb delicate on her cheek as he does so, catching another stray tear that was still falling despite her smile.

“What can I do to help?” He asks softly, so much affection in his voice she has to choke back words she knows it’s too early to say. 

“You’re already doing it.” She replies, “and maybe we’ll order in dinner soon?” 

He playfully rolls his eyes at her, shaking his head slightly. “You’ll do anything to not cook.” 

She gently slaps his chest, “You know I can’t cook.” 

He chuckles at her as he reaches for the tv remote, readjusting them slightly so they are both facing it, and he looks down at her, an amused smile on his face.

“Em, were you watching Star Trek?” 

She groans burying her face into his chest, her cheeks burning, “Yes, don’t make fun of me.” 

“I wasn’t going to, I watch it too.” He says, and she pulls back to look at him, her eyebrow raised.

“Really?” She asks sceptically, still trying to gauge if he was teasing her. 

“Really,” he confirms, “we should watch it together from now on.”

“We should,” she replies, trying to remember a time when she a partner who actually appreciated her more nerdy side, and she comes up blank. It makes her think of Ian, and the brief thought she’d had at her door earlier. “Aaron, can I ask you something?” 

“Of course.”

“Earlier when you heard me arguing with Matthew from outside, did you think I was in here with Ian?” 

He freezes briefly before nodding. “Yes, I did.” 

“And you were going to…barge in here and confront him?” She asks, her eyebrow raised at him. 

“Yes,” he answers like it was obvious, like he wouldn’t have been putting himself in danger for her, “I wasn’t going to leave you in here alone with him.” 

She wasn’t sure how to respond to that, how to tell him that the last thing she wants is for him to get hurt because of her past, again, but she can’t. So she smiles at him instead, a half-hearted thing that he returns. 

“For future reference, Ian is Irish,” she explains, and he nods in response. 

“Got it.” He replies, and she settles back against him properly both of them looking at the tv, the commercials they had ignored giving way to another episode of Deep Space Nine. “Is this…a marathon you were watching?” 

“Aaron.” 

___

Ever since he’d walked into Emily’s apartment to find her arguing with Matthew they’d spent every night together. Tonight would be different, an unspoken conversation between the two of them that she wouldn’t spend the night when he had Jack, at least not yet. 

Aaron was worried about her, could sense that there was more to whatever her friendship had been with Matthew, but he didn’t pry. He knew her well enough to understand that would be the one thing to push her away and that she’d come to him eventually. Tell him whatever parts of the story she felt like she had to keep to herself for now. 

Despite his insistence when Emily aired her concerns that everything would be fine, Aaron found himself slightly nervous as he prepared to tell Jack about the change in their relationship. He’d given Haley the heads up when he picked his son up for the weekend, having given her a week for the news to settle in herself, so she wasn’t blind-sighted if Jack came home talking about having seen Emily. 

He wasn’t about to jump right into the two of them spending lots of time together, it wasn’t fair on anyone involved. Emily was nervous around the little boy as it was, their relatively limited encounters so far somewhat awkward at times, her inexperience with children clear. He’d been the same before he had Jack, having only really had Sean to go by, and he knew Emily was an only child. It wasn’t fair to Haley either and he tried to think how he’d feel if there was suddenly a boyfriend in her life spending time with Jack.

Aaron wasn’t about to have Emily stay over on the nights he had Jack, but he figured them all spending time together during the day, with the little boy aware of Emily’s role in Aaron’s life, was a good place to start. He was taking Jack to the park later, the cold but dry and sunny weather allowing the first trip there of the year, and it seemed like the perfect opportunity. 

He looks at his son who was sitting on the floor, ignoring the tv show Aaron had put on for him, his attention fixed on his Gameboy. 

“Jack, can I talk to you about something?” 

Jack looks up from his game, his eyes fixed on his father, almost comically wide. 

“Am I in trouble?” 

Aaron chuckles, shaking his head at his son. “No buddy, you’re not in trouble.” He pats the couch next to him, “Come sit here.” 

The 5-year-old stands up, abandoning his Gameboy on the ground as he scrambles onto the couch.

“You remember Emily?” Aaron asks, smiling when Jack nods enthusiastically.

“Your friend who lives here too.”

“That’s right, she lives across the hall,” he replies, “well, she’s not just my friend anymore, she’s my girlfriend.” He watches his son’s face carefully for his reaction. He knew he understood what ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ meant, as much as a 5-year-old could. Haley had barely been able to control her laughter when she told him how Jack apparently had a girlfriend at school, a little girl in his class who he liked to play with at recess. After a few seconds of silence with no reaction from the little boy Aaron presses further, “Are you ok with that?” 

Jack sighs, a slight pout on his face. “I guess.” 

Aaron feels panic rise in his chest, Emily’s concerns that he had brushed off, and assured her were unfounded, suddenly seeming a lot more real than he anticipated. 

“Jack, what’s wrong?” He asks, encouraging his son to look up at him from where his gaze had fallen to the couch. “I thought you liked Emily.”

“I do,” Jack replies, “but I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend.”

Aaron’s proud of himself for not laughing, for the fact he’s able to hold back his smile, the panic he had felt only seconds before replaced with relief and amusement in equal measure. 

“Sorry, buddy, but I think she might be a little old for you.” 

Jack sighs dramatically, “I guess.” 

Aaron does smile at that, unable to fight it any longer. “You’ll still be able to see her though, I thought she could come with us to the park later?” 

“Can she can push me on the swing?” Jack asks, as if the answer to that determined how he felt about it. 

“You’ll have to ask her, but I don’t see that being a problem.” 

Jack beams at him, any of the heartbreak he’d apparently felt moments ago long forgotten. 

“Can we go see her now?” He asks enthusiastically, standing up and walking back over to pick up his Gameboy.

“We’ll have lunch first, and then we’ll go over, ok?” 

Jack nods, reaching for his game again and going back to playing as if he had never stopped. 

___

“Jack, keep your gloves on,” Aaron shouts after his son, shaking his head at him, “it’s barely February and you’d think it was spring already the way he’s running around.” He says to Emily, smiling as he sits next to her on the bench she was on, the jungle gym Jack was playing on in direct view. 

“It is freezing,” she replies, handing him his coffee as she shuffles closer to him, her own coffee in between both of her gloved hands, “why did you suggest the park?” 

“He loves the park,” Aaron replies, turning his head to kiss her cheek, “I would never have gotten away with not bringing him here.” 

Emily takes a sip of her coffee, looking around the park at the other adults all huddled in their winter jackets, clutching cups of coffee as if their lives depended on it, the kids running around having the times of their lives. It doesn’t escape her that it is mostly women here, all of them throwing her and Aaron looks occasionally, any attempts to be subtle abandoned as soon as he had grabbed her hand at the coffee shop, squeezing it after she bought them their drinks and Jack a hot chocolate. 

“I think you have some fans,” she says, unconsciously shuffling a little closer to him, seeking out the warmth that seeped through his jacket. Aaron looks down at her, a questioning look on his face before she tilts her head towards the group of women in question. 

“Oh,” he says, looking back at her, “usually they come over and try to talk to me.” 

“Of course they do,” she replies, smiling at him wryly, rolling her eyes when he looks confused, “you’re a very attractive, very large man who is obviously an excellent father,” she takes another sip of her coffee, “it’s like moths to a flame.” 

She doesn’t miss the slight tone to her voice, grimacing as she realises how it must have sounded, and she can’t help but groan when he leans down to kiss her, his lips tasting of coffee. 

“You jealous, sweetheart?” He asks as he pulls back, smirking at her slightly. 

“No,” she replies too quickly, clearing her throat. “I am not jealous.”

He smiles at her, leaning down to kiss her again, his nose warm against her cheek. “Good, because you have nothing to be jealous of.” 

She sometimes thought that he couldn’t be real, his unrelenting loyalty and kindness that she was always on the receiving end of feeling too good to be true. In the week since Matthew had shown back up in her life, Aaron had been nothing but understanding. He was smart enough to know there was more to the story, but he hadn’t pushed which she was grateful for, making her all the more sure she’d feel like she could tell him eventually. 

She hums and snuggles closer to him, her head leaning on his shoulder as they both look back at Jack, the little boy laughing with his friends. 

“Jack was really ok with us being together?” She asks, securing her coffee in one of her hands before she links the other with one of his. 

“I told you, he likes you,” he replies, “although there was one problem.” 

She pulls away from him so quickly she thinks it should have given her whiplash, the slight smile on his face not matching the panic she felt. 

“What? I thought you said-”

“Em, everything is fine,” he assures her, squeezing her hand in his, the material of both of their gloves dulling the sensation, “he said he was going to ask you to be his girlfriend,” he says, his smile taking over his face, “once we cleared up that you are probably a little old for him, he came round.”

She beams up at him, her cheeks aching with something other than the cold for the first time since they left their apartment building. 

“So you’re telling me, if I’d held out I could have ended up with the cuter Hotchner?” She asks, smiling at him teasingly, “That will teach me.” He narrows his eyes at her. He kisses her, nipping at her lower lip in warning before he pulls back. “I’m glad he’s ok with it,” she says, her eyes soft before she leans her head on his shoulder. 

“Me too,” he replies, “you’re stuck with me now.” 

Warmth spreads through her chest, and she buries her face in his shoulder. She kisses the material of his jacket to hide the smile that was so wide she’s sure it would break her face in two. 

“Good,” she says eventually, “because you’re stuck with me too.” 

-x-

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[foxymoxynoona]

Hi Foxy!

Do you feel it’s harder to work on fresh stories rather than ones that you’re already pretty deep in the universe/storyline? For me I tend to lose steam the deeper I get, but I’ve noticed that you seem to pick up speed when the plot thickens! How do you overcome that fade of initial excitement and find the motivation to continue while working on your longer fics?

I've been thinking about this a lot and have a couple answers. This might get kinda long...

I tend to think the difficulty comes in waves for me! Often I find the very beginning, the 1/3 point and the 2/3 point (right before we build to the climax of the story) to be difficult for me personally, and I've realized it's because these are periods of set up or transition in a story. Emotional stock taking. World building, character building. The period before or after the exciting stuff.

I've learned two ways to assess what I do when I hit that lull:

If the part that feels boring/dull/difficult to write for me is about a chapter in length, I perservere. Transition is hard. It almost never fails that the chapters I struggle with the most and hate will get higher positive response from readers haha. To me this means that it feels like grunt work as the writer but to the reader it's very important work.

If the story feelings boring/dull/difficult for more than a chapter to get through, I've lost the thread. A story shouldn't be boring. Writing shouldn't be boring. It's time to shake things up. Toss in a wet cat. Back up and see if I took a wrong turn.

And honestly, sometimes it just means I've reached the end of that particular story for me and it's time to shelf it at least for now. Sometimes I come back to stories years later and sometimes they chewed up and turned into something new later and sometimes they just were a training exercise after all.

A general tactic I have for avoiding the derailment you mention is that I always have something I am really really looking forward to writing that happens later in the story. It could be the end, it could be the climax, it could just be a really fun moment i know lies ahead (two examples: Y/N taking care of JK's injuries after the fight in Sea of Indigo; JK and Alex meeting again at the wedding in Tell Me What Changed.) The funny thing is, I may never actually get to that spot, or it might look very different than I imagined it, or it might not fit at all anymore and get cut (I have so many examples of each scenario.) You don't want to force the scene at that point if your story has grown a different direction but if it got you to that point, it did it's duty.

One other thing I will mention about me personally, I don't know if it's the same for otehrs, but I think age/time/experience have also helped me get better at identifying which stories I can see through to the end. Like my ratio of started stories to finished stories is SO MUCH higher now than it was in my teens or twenties, though definitely nowhere near 1:1; you folks don't see how many abandoned stories never get posted, some with hundreds of pages written. The truth is that we writers have to cut our teeth on a lot of stories before we find the right one to sink our teeth into, and getting to the end requires such a combination of motivation, perseverence, emotion, time, and energy. Honestly I'm stunned every time I finish a story! I feel much better equipped to avoid or fix the lulls when I hit them now than I did ten or twenty years ago, though again, I don't expect it'll ever be an exact science.

I was right, this was long, but I hope it was helpful at all!