#it's called getting away from your toxic environment and gaining perspective

[kadeuxhyeonju]

A LEAP THROUGH TIME ~ When do we begin to hope?

5 October 2021

Idris,

I’ve arrived back in Kadeu safely. I have firmly planted the Vega Gem’s doors shut for the last six months and it is taking everything in me not to swing them wide open this very instant. I’m sure you’re chuckling now, insisting it would have been like this anyway given that that ridiculous winged oaf threatened me into keeping it closed for at least four of those months. Nonetheless, you silly creature…it’s good to be home.

Home. I’d never thought I’d say that about Kadeu without all the vitriol I’ve always—and still do—feel for this gods forsaken continent. Especially after the tensions of that civil war that was brewing in Club earlier this past summer and the other factions’ subsequent reactions to such chaos. But it is. Home. I’ve come to terms with this truth. In part thanks to you. I still laugh thinking of your shocked expression when we met face-to-face after decades apart. It seems that all it took to surprise my favorite, silly Fae was to sail across the sea in search of your whimsical heart. And look at all the trouble it’s caused me. I have dreams now, Idris, you bastard. I have hope.

How close was I to staying by your side, across the sea so far from these lands? Remembering the ever-so-slightly faded tattoos marring my skin—far closer than anyone can imagine. So much hope born in me partly in thanks to you and the realization that even these marks were not permanent.

Perhaps, it is also partly due to my mother no longer having a hold of me. After all, how can the dead grip us with rotted fingers? No longer, Idris. No longer. I want to forget that part of my life, and with her gone I hope that I can. But this ache…what is this ache? I have discovered so much in that time I was by your side, but it seems I have still more to learn.

’Til next time Old Friend,

Hyeonju

25 September 2022

Idris,

I can’t help but think of our time together during those six months. Those apprenticeships I took on simply because I could. Not for survival. Not in your name or honor, nor anyone else’s. Doing what I wanted for the first time in my 153 years simply because I could. It was…freeing. I’ve never used that word for myself. Gods, I sound so whimsical. I sound like you. 

That time has changed me. It makes me want to open another shop, maybe two. For clothing. Creating fashion suited for any rank. Clothes that compliment the jewelry I craft with such care and adoration they might as well be my blood-born children.

Idris, what have you done to me? I tell you this in every exchange and in every exchange you mock me in that knowing way of yours, but I’ll say it again. You have ruined me to the life I had grown accustomed to in Kadeu. I thought this feeling would die naturally on its own after a few weeks. But here I am still dreaming hopeless dreams.

Hopeless because that bastard of gold has set his sights on me. Or rather, he refuses look my way. He hasn’t said in so many words, nor does he need to. He no longer uses my shop. He walks around in gaudy jewels fashioned from jewelers of far lower caliber than you or myself—all for his pride. All because he knows I despise him. So be it. I rose to this rank without him. And while he may set the precedent for much of Heart, I take pride in knowing I set the precedent for its continued refined appearance.

Ah. I’ll end the letter here. Another letter from Luke has reached my doorstep. I should answer before he thinks I’ve all but cast him away again. And before you put quill to paper, Idris, no I have yet to forgive him for Lita.

…but I’m not adverse to having him in my life again.

’Til next time Old Friend,

Hyeonju

7 July 2023

Idris,

It is so quiet and calm this year. Boring, even. Yes, I dare say that despite only being halfway through. The Resistance is silent. Clubs are far more reasonable and less prone to violent tantrums in the street. Spade is as dull as it’s always been, stiff and musty like waterlogged wooden planks. I daresay the Diamonds have become almost bearable in attitude (the low and midrankers, at least) thanks to Ms. Moon’s much needed hand to guide their wayward, gaudy souls.

They still dress like they fashioned clothes from their grandmother’s lint balls and bags of misshapen enchanted confetti, though. In other words—there’s room for significant improvement. But it’s better than it was just a few years prior.

I wish I could say the same of Heart. Idris, my friend, that beast in gold has been starting up Fae-run businesses and education. That in itself is not a bad thing. In fact., I’d welcome it from any other person if it didn’t originate from the mind of someone as calculating and cruel as the one I shall not name. But because these wonderful ideas were founded by him I do not trust them. I do not trust his motives, nor do I trust the gradual influx of Fae migrating under his rule.

From what you’ve told me of Fae and their realm, I’m suspicious of why they’d come here despite preferring their own realm. I doubt they’re all like you--actually enjoying and preferring the company of this world. What his he up to? I don’t like these murmurs of his guards growing in size and strength. I worry for Heart—and the rest of Kadeu with it.

I’ll spare you more morbid talk. I know how much you dislike it. Let me tell you instead of the of all the plans I’ve made for those shops I’ve spoken of so many times. Wonder at the names I’ve created for each…!

**The rest of the letter’s writing is faded with time and illegible.**

9 August 2024

Idris,

This heat is no good for my fur. Even my ears are frizzing in this humidity. The customers and Alexei have told me I look “cuddly”. Disgusting. A child with her mother waltzed right up to me and began to give my tails too-hard thumps with her little Strongarm fists. You will be proud to know I did not growl at the sudden and violent touch. I am better at reminding myself not every hand coming at me will bring me harm. Still hurt like hell, though.

I am finishing up a commission today. It’s beautiful and will fetch a high price. The money is being set aside, as always, for my new shops. I hope to open the first one by the end of this year if all goes well. I’d ask for you to wish me luck, but we both know it’s my blood, sweat, and tears that have gotten me this far and will continue to do so.

Idris, you silly creature. My old and dearest friend. I hope this letter finds you well. That you are taking in the world. That you find what you have been looking for all these years. Just as I know you wish the same for me. And as always I hope even if we should meet again many, many, many centuries from now we are still comfortable companions in whatever way it takes shape.

Now excuse me while I go and chastise this overly energetic Shapeshifter trying to tell tall tales about ghosts haunting my jewelry. For a Spade, I’m amazed I see her wandering this faction so often. Shamelessly even. I like her. As much as I can like any Spade, I suppose. But she needs to stop alarming my customers.

’Til next time Old Friend,

Hyeonju

[mc-critical]

Hello, I just found your blog and I like it very much, it’s very interesting to read!!!. My question is : what is your opinion on Ahmed and Kosem’s relationship? Do you think he truly loves her? What do you think about him seeing other women? And what do you think about his relationship with these women (Mahfiruz, Katerina, Gulbahar and Yasemin).

Thank you for liking my stuff!

I think that, just like Süleiman, Ahmet loves Kösem in his own way. It's not as toxic or problematic or often questionable writing-wise as Süleiman's love for Hürrem, but it still has both its ups and downs that make it interesting to explore.

Ahmet and Kösem is perhaps the love story where the writers made the most effort to mask the possible worse aspects of. It could even be considered actually romantic at points, with their amazing first scenes in the gardens and the amazing chemistry of Ekin Koç and Anastasia Tsilimpou, the beginning sense of wonder and "mystery" it started out with.... when she first met him, Anastasia didn't know he was the sultan and put all her trust in him - a certainly good first impression. Ahmet himself is also very far from Süleiman's direct endeavors and tests of loyalty, he tries his best to be respectful in his own way, despite that he fails to do that a bunch of times. That's why it's easy to miss the darker aspects of the relationship at first and it could be perceived as probably the only thing in the franchise that is remotely close to a "fairytale" of sorts.

However, when the curtains start to fall slowly, but surely, we come to realize that while, say, Hürrem learns to want what Süleiman wants, to be fully loyal to him and to cave to his demands just like he often caves to her own, Ahmet and Kösem as characters have entirely different values and needs throughout their whole relationship. The fact that Ahmet wanted Anastasia because of a picture, without him having ever met her, is incredibly telling: he has created an ideal of her in his own head from the start and he wants to consistently maintain it. When he's with her, it's as if he's living his own dream, his own perfect world that has place only for him and that young girl. (that's why the garden is so symbolic: Ahmet calls it a place of solitude, only for himself almost immediately after the audience is introduced to it; also that line from him: "The world is on one side, Kösem - on the other." - quoting by memory again, but the meaning is the same) Their world views gained from their past and present environments begin to clash from the moment she finds out he's a Sultan - she wants to desperately go back to her family, both because all of them are still alive and her free spirit that cannot bear to live in this golden cage. Ahmet doesn't let her go also because he lacks the understanding of this desire: he has grown in the strict Ottoman system and having people like Anastasia stay in the harem forever is something he finds perfectly natural; for him it's unthinkable to stand against it. But despite of that "minor offense", Ahmet's idea of Anastasia's "purity" and "perfection" was working for awhile, with her seeming to meet his expectations and slowly warm up to him. But the real truth is way stronger than your own made-up lies. Anastasia's pleas to let her go only get stronger until they reach their climax with her attempt to escape. And you know what? If it weren't for her contrived, yet convenient excuse to come back to him, he would've lost her. Helplessly, in a blink of an eye, he would've lost her, due to what she sees as sheer ignorance from his part. And when she gains her own bit of agency later in the season and becomes Kösem, when she develops and realizes the actual stakes of the game, beginning to play it herself due to survival by default and the will for revenge, Ahmet's "perfect picture" breaks apart and that apparently hurt him so much, he stayed mad at her for quite some time. This wasn't the person he knew and loved anymore, this was an entirely new, reborn woman. He didn't seem to love and respect her for the virtues she actually possessed, but for those that he had imagined her to always have in his head. That is another, more "subtle" level of toxicity than with Hürrem and Süleiman, but it's still toxicity, that's why this relationship is far from healthy and the "beautiful, but quirky" dynamic it sets the impression of.

Kösem's view of Ahmet is very interesting and complex, writing-wise. I actually don't think she grew to love him as much. The place she forcibly got in made her feel very limited by him mostly, since he was the reason she was here in the first place and he was calling the shots in terms of her future (whether she would visit her family or not?). What made her become a bit affectionate wasn't fully him himself, but rather the oh-so-prominent theme of adaption in the harem. She wanted to escape so desperately, but there were so many happenings and situations during the time she was in the harem that just demanded for her to get used to everything. So when Iskender gave her the chance to escape, she as become used to the harem's environment so much, she felt unsure of herself outside of it. Her return was out of necessity rather than love and even her standing up to the people when Ahmet was sick was done out of necessity, too (like I elaborated in another ask about Kösem). I'm not saying that she didn't feel any affection whatsoever, but the affection she felt for him was easy to let go of (E25: "Today I didn't marry only Sultan Ahmet, I married the country!"), because I don't think Ahmet did his best efforts to understand her and I don't think Kösem felt completely comfortable around him, all that contrasted with Kemankeş in S02, who according to her, understands her better than anyone ever could.

Ahmet loves Kösem, because even after his perfect picture with her was broken and his anger and denial and refusal to accept it passed, he did try to make things better. What I loved most about his dynamic with Kösem, is his open honesty with her that continued till the end. There have been scenes where they seemed like true companions, especially their beginning one in E21 with all the kids gathered around them. I loved that despite of his mistakes, he did try to set things right. There was this sudden protectiveness that activated in him when Kösem told him the truth about the death of his father and why she acted the way she did and that could mean she now became something of a "cinnamon roll he just protect" and that is certainly a flawed mindset to have in many aspects, but that showed he could actually care for her beyond his idealistic perspective of her.

Am I okay with Ahmet having other women? Honestly, I'm glad that MCK lowered the concubine arcs to a minimum and with the way they did it, it doesn't offend me as much. I would even love some of them to be more developed for a change, because they did turn out to be solely drama tools, thanks to their lesser episodes and MCK's different themes as a whole, that basically did their purpose and left, instead of stretch out and outstay their welcome and that is just the other extreme in a bad disguise.

I won't talk about the relationship he had with his other women as much, because they just aren't fleshed out. I would've liked to see more of Ahmet and Mahfiruze: I believe he was way more decent with her than say, Süleiman was with Mahidevran, and their scenes weren't half bad. Too bad that would've demanded Mahfiruze herself to be fleshed out more as a character and the writers to give her more of a place in the narrative. Katerina was present only for an episode (or was it two episodes?) and we don't have as much conclusions to drive here. We only have his mild infatuation with her and... that's it? We have no idea what Katerina actually felt or how their dynamic would play out in the long run. We can only speculate. Gülbahar, by contrast, also had the least screentime of all his women who have comparatively minimal screentime, but her exploration in S02 helps us gain a better idea of how it went between them. I have the impression that she was the least favourite concubine of Ahmet's, ever. She did succeed to get pregnant and have a child, but it probably was a one and done thing and she didn't seem to get any other grasp of manly affection since then. Which is why, along with them taking away Bayezid from her by exiling her, she was so focused on scheming for one particular goal and this became what defined her. But then again, that is still a speculation in my part. Now, with Yasemin we have much more on-screen chemistry and interaction: that relationship felt very similar with what Süleiman thought of Firuze - infatuation, massive infatuation, but still not love, because just like Firuze, Yasemin also gave him poison and we don't know how much the poison affected his psyche, along with the sickness it brought upon him. These relationships have the opposite problem MC's concubine arcs had: these women were all unfavored or favored very temporarily in the span of an episode or two, which made them very stale and lacking in material.

Lastly, while MCK in its entirety, isn't very big on love stories, Kösem and Ahmet's relationship still had an evolution throughout S01, even if that evolution was more "condensed" than the others similar to it. It still remains the most fleshed out love story in the show, along with Kösem and Kemankeş's, and it was a very important part of the story that helped shape much of the narrative that succeeds it.

[scripttorture]

(Villain story PT 1) My story is about two enemies/villains. Character A is tortured by B as punishment for harming a friend of B. A escapes and tortures B for retaliation (other people who have been wronged by character B also help character A do that). A and B are not directly involved in each other's tortures but they know who is responsible for their punishment. Later, A and B come closer to each other's side and start to compromise their politics. They also come closer as people.---

(Villain story PT 2) They also come closer as people. They realize they think alike. They don't have regrets about the torture they did to one another but they don't want to repeat it. Later there is some atonement for their actions. I am doing the trope "enemies to friends" but with both characters having a twisted mentality (aka "it's fine if you come closer to your torturer").  (Villain story PT 3) However, I don't imply that torture is something light or harmless or that it's natural for someone to be kind to their torturer. i also don't try to excuse the actions of the torturers.I am worried if with this story I present torment in the wrong way. Any commentary or advice? Thank you!

-

OK I think I understand what you’re going for here.

 I’m going to start off by saying that I don’t think there’s anything wrong in writing ‘bad’ characters. Or characters who believe in stuff that’s awful, stupid or just plain wrong. If you want to write unhealthy relationships, characters making bad decisions or characters having rare/unusual responses there’s nothing inherently wrong with that.

 The issues come when we start teaching people these things are ‘normal’, that survival should look a certain way or that a particular kind of trauma ‘wasn’t that bad’.

 Sometimes that stuff can be very subjective, so this is always a learning process.

 But this isn’t about telling people to stop writing particular plots or characters. It’s about the problems that come when fiction is the only source people see for something real and complex and misunderstood.

 I don’t have a problem with authors breaking from reality; it’s called fiction for a reason. The problem is when we present a potentially damaging fiction as fact and do so in an environment which makes finding the facts almost impossible.

 I talk about what is or isn’t realistic often because I think it’s important that we understand the reality. We get better stories when the writers are aware of how and where they’re deviating from reality. We get more compassionate stories when writers take the time to think about what those breaks from reality imply.

 I don’t think you’ve chosen a plot that’s inherently torture apologia but it could stray close to some of the common misconceptions about torture. And you’ve recognised that, which means you’re thinking about it critically. That’s a really important step.

 First off in this kind of scenario it’s worth distinguishing the torturer from the person who ordered torture.

 You’ve made it clear that neither of these characters actively tortures the other. They order it but it isn’t even clear if they’re in the same room when the abuse takes place. And I think that gives you a lot more leeway.

 I don’t know of a single case where a survivor and their torturer (ie someone who directly, actively tortured them) became friends or had any sort of positive relationship afterwards.

 There are abuse cases where the survivor and abuser have gone on to have a healthy and mostly positive relationship afterwards. It’s rare*, but it does happen.

 The thing is abusers usually have an established prior relationship with their victim. Torturers don’t. The most I’ve found is a couple of cases where they were vague acquaintances before hand; I’ve yet to find a case where torturer and victim were actually close beforehand.

 What I’m saying here is that generally there isn’t a reason for survivors to want anything to do with their torturers in any capacity. And there are a lot of good reasons for them to not want to be near their torturer.

 There aren’t a lot of accounts of survivors encountering their torturers afterwards. The ones that I have found-

 Well Fanon describes one that happened in his hospital. Both torturer and survivor had a panic attack. The survivor ran into a bathroom and tried to commit suicide.

 Hospital staff managed to convince both of them that they were mistaken about who they thought they saw (a decision Fanon justified as being the only way they could continue to access the treatment they needed). They rearranged the schedules to make sure they never encountered each other again.

 I’ve read more recent accounts that were by survivors. Most of them seem to be describing panic attacks or at the very least, extreme distress on the part of the survivor.

 That’s partly in response to the torturer in a way that’s beyond the control of both individuals. But it’s also partly because of the attitude torturers typically seem to have to their own crimes.

 I’ll pre-face this by saying we really need more research on torturers. At the moment there isn’t a lot in the way of good quality long term studies. Based on the information we have now torturers seem to struggle to understand the scale and impact of their crimes. Some of them do express regret. Some of them will admit that what they did was wrong.

 But they might also say (example taken from one of the survivors accounts and paraphrased) ‘Well I served my time in jail so you shouldn’t have a problem with me any more. I have as much right to be here as you do.’

 As you might imagine this sort of attitude and lack of understand tends to make a healthy or positive relationship less likely.

 As I said, I never heard of a case where a survivor and their torturer had a positive relationship afterwards and I think that it’s extremely unlikely.

 But the survivor and the person who ordered torture… that is potentially a different story.

 People who order torture usually aren’t present when torture occurs. They don’t exist in the toxic torturer sub-culture these organisations have. They are not typically at risk from the torturers in their organisation. And since they don’t typically witness torture they’re not going to develop the mental health problems torture typically causes.

 And because they’re not typically present when torture is actually happening there’s less chance that a survivor is going to feel triggered by their presence. They might blame them, they might hate them. But the visceral response they have when seeing their torturer doesn’t seem to be there, as far as I can tell from what I’ve read.

 I think that difference, that distinction, gives you a fair amount of leeway. Because a person can know, logically, that the head of the organisation that tortured them is ultimately responsible for their torture and still not have the same level of emotional response or distress.

 Because they weren’t part of the toxic sub-culture torturers create in organisations, a person who ordered torture is less likely to have the same attitude towards their crimes. I can’t say for certain that they’d have greater insight or perspective into what they did; there’s even less research on them then on torturers.

 But I think they’d be able to denounce, regret or move away from torture with less personal risk. They’re not going to lose their whole social circle for saying torture should stop. And they’re unlikely to be physically attacked by their peers for it.

 I still think that gaining that insight, that understanding of the scale and impact of their crimes, would be difficult and unlikely. But my instinct is that it would be more likely in someone who is at a remove from torture then in someone who was actually a torturer.

 Showing that torture is serious is more about how you portray the effects then how you have the characters’ relationships developing. It’s about showing consistently showing the effects symptoms have on the characters’ lives.

 Having more survivors then just these two characters could serve to highlight that this relationship isn’t usual, as well as underlining that people’s responses are very varied.

 If you make the effort to show, consistently, that both the main characters and any secondary survivor characters are effected by what they went through then you should avoid downplaying the damage torture causes.

 You’ve probably already picked out the 3-5 symptoms you want your main characters to experience. Decide what those problems look like for them and show those problem consistently even when the character is improving.

 The story I’m writing at the moment has a character with a minor brain injury and part of the symptom set I gave him involved having lower inhibitions. Which in this character looks like a complete lack of brain-mouth filter, he says what’s on his mind constantly. And he does get better at managing his disability through the course of the story but he still says the ‘wrong’ thing constantly. Which in turn impacts on his ability to relate to other people.

 That’s the sort of thing you need in order to show the effects are serious: a commitment to showing them all the way through the story.

 For instance if one of the characters has severe anxiety that gets set off by crowded spaces, improving and managing that condition might look like:

Rearranging their schedule to avoid places at the most crowded times

Medication to reduce the effects of panic attacks

Constantly using breathing exercises in crowded spaces (and possibly sounding a little strange when they talk as a result)

Sending other people to potentially crowded spaces in their place

Putting off or cancelling things if a place seems too crowded for them

Taking the rest of the day off to recover after going somewhere crowded

 Any of those might lead to the net result of less panic attacks and overall improvement. But they’re still working around a serious condition. The fact the character has to make these adjustments constantly in their life means the condition is still there and still serious.

 The rest of this is probably less about the overall themes or plot and more about how it comes across when it’s written.

 I can’t give you a roadmap to a perfect story that no one will ever take issue with. That does not exist. Because every individual reader will bring something different when they sit down to read and they will take something different away too.

 Getting beta readers can help with this, and help build your confidence. I’ve found in person (or in these days over skype) writing groups to be really useful.

 You’re trying to do better and that is the main thing. You’ll learn in the process of writing this story and what you learn can feed into the next one.

 This is a complex topic you’re tackling and your fear is natural. Do everything you can to do it justice, but give yourself permission to be imperfect. You’re only human. I assume.

 I think the main thing to consider here is whether you’re portraying what happens with these characters as ‘normal’ or not. Because however you look at it this is an unusual outcome. I think you know that and I get the impression from the ask that you’re not trying to portray this as the ‘usual’ or ‘correct’ response. You’re just trying to tell a story that interests you using an unusual response. Nothing wrong with that.

 Implications and atmosphere can be hard to get right. They take practice. Having someone else read over the story can help confirm that scenes are coming across the way you intend them to.

 Once again I think having other examples of survivors will help you avoid any suggestions that survivors ‘should/naturally are’ kind to the people who ordered them to be tortured. Showing symptoms consistently should also help you avoid excusing the torture. Especially if that effects the relationship that’s building between these two characters.

 Take your time. Take breaks. Read your own writing critically and think about what you might be implying with each scene. Get second opinions to make sure it’s coming across as you’d like it to.

 I hope that helps. :)

Available on Wordpress.

Disclaimer

*The fact that it can happen is occasionally used to encourage victims to stay in dangerous situations on the off chance they might be able to ‘fix’ their abuser. This is, of course, dangerous rubbish.

[jaybug-jabbers]

Flick’s Complete Bug Guide

Hi, all! Do you feel a wave of disappointment whenever you bring Blathers a bug and he spends all his time berating the poor creatures? Want to learn more about the buggy friends you find in Animal Crossing without all the snide remarks?

Look no further– this is Flick’s Complete Bug Guide! Learn about these amazing creatures from the perspective of a true bug fan!

You’re encouraged to visit every time you capture a new bug so you can learn more about it!

This guide is written in the theoretical universe where you can approach Flick during a day he is visiting and there is a dialogue option “Tell me about this!”

Upon being asked to tell you about a bug, Flick would say:

“Oh my gosh! A <name of bug>! I can hardly even gaze upon its sheer beauty and magnificence!”

“Ahem. I-I mean, um … thank you for bringing this to me!”

He would then tell you about the bug, and finish his speech with the following:

“It has been an honor to spend time in the presence of your  <name of bug>. I hope you enjoyed hearing what wisdom I could share about it!”

Now, onward to the bug guide!

Common Butterfly (Pieris rapae)

The Common Butterfly, also known as the Cabbage Butterfly or the White Butterfly, is a widespread species of butterfly with pretty white wings and black spots. A large reason this species has grown so widespread is because its caterpillars love to eat plants in the cabbage family, including kale, broccoli and bok choy, plants that humans grow plenty of. While these caterpillars are considered serious crop pests, it’s interesting to note that these little grubs will move around a lot when feeding, avoiding damaging any single part of the plant too much. This may be to avoid predators from easily spotting the caterpillars, but they also might be trying to share the crops with us! With that in mind, maybe we can learn to share our crops with the butterflies, too.  

Yellow Butterfly (Colias erate)

Ever wonder about a butterfly’s wing? Such delicate, beautiful structures? Well, the scientific name for the family of butterflies and moths is ‘Lepidoptera,’ which means 'scale wing.’ Butterfly wings are coated in thousands of teeny, tiny scales made of chitin. These scales help insulate a butterfly, as well as allow butterfly wings to get their coloration through pigments or iridescence. The scales also allow for a very neat trick– if a butterfly gets captured in a spider’s web, there’s a good chance some of the scales on their wings will detach, allowing the butterfly to slip away. That’s why if you handle a butterfly, sometimes you hands are covered in a fine powdery substance. That powder is some of the butterfly’s scales rubbing off on you. I have to admit, I envy butterfly scales a little. They seem much more beautiful and functional than my own lizardy scales.

Common Bluebottle (Graphium sarpedon)

This vibrant black-and-blue insect is a type of swallowtail butterfly, and lives in tropical rainforests as well as some drier, subtropical environments. Like most butterflies, they feed on flower nectar, but Bluebottles are also commonly seen drinking from mud puddles. This helps them take in salts and minerals from the ground. In search of nutrients, Bluebottles may even occasionally feed from animal droppings or dead animals! Although this may change your image of butterflies as sweet, lovely insects, it’s actually a really smart move for the butterflies. Good things can come even from wastes!

Tiger Butterfly (Papilio machaon)

The Tiger Butterfly is named for its dramatic yellow and black-striped coloration. It’s also sometimes called a Yellow Swallowtail, because of the long tails on its hindwings that resemble the tails of swallows. When Tiger Butterflies are caterpillars, they are covered in brown, white and black spots– ingeniously camouflaged as bird droppings! As the caterpillars get older, their colors change to a lovely green with black and orange markings. They also gain a new defense against predators, called the osmeterium. This is a forked, retractable organ that the caterpillar can inflate when feeling threatened. The osmeterium releases a foul odor, warding off ants and other predatory insects. As you can see, caterpillars have all sorts of tricks to avoid being eaten– which is a good thing, because that means more beautiful butterflies!

Agrias Butterfly(Agrias claudina)

This superb little butterfly is considered one of the most beautiful species to exist, and with its iridescent pink and violet set on a black background, I find it hard to argue. The glorious colors you’re witnessing are thanks to the teeny, tiny scales that coat the butterflies’ wings. Male Agrias Butterflies also have small yellow patches of scales on their hindwings, and these patches are special. They’re actually made of something called androconial scales. These scales help release pheromones for attracting a mate. Butterflies communicate with each other through these pheromones, as well as those colorful, glittering wings. Of course, with such eye-catching looks, these butterflies may gain the unwanted attention of predators, too, but they’re in luck: Agrias Butterflies are incredibly swift and agile fliers. It takes a lot to get ahold of one of these little gems!

Queen Alexandra’s Birdwing (Ornithoptera alexandrae)

Oh, wow! You caught a Queen Alexandra’s Birdwing? Those are rare– they’re an endangered species! They live in rainforests, but habitat destruction from oil palm plantations has really damaged their populations. (It didn’t help that a volcano erupted around the 50s, destroying much of their habitat as well.) These days, it’s illegal to trade this species worldwide. Hopefully, with habitat protection and captive breeding programs, the species will make a comeback. It’s a really special species– did you know it’s the largest butterfly in the world? Its wingspan can reach up to 9 inches or larger! The females are the larger of the species, while males are smaller but more brightly colored. They love to fly quite high up, and have few natural predators due to their size. That fact gives me hope! I want to see these birdwings thrive once more.

Emperor Butterfly (Morpho menelaus)

The charismatic Emperor Butterfly– also commonly known as the Blue Morpho– is a wonderful example of iridescence. The shimmering cerulean shades of this species do not come from pigment but instead from wing scales that have a special microstructure, reflecting the light in a special way to produce the color. As the butterfly flies, you get flashes of bright blue, and other times see the dark wing undersides. It makes for quite the dazzling display. This butterfly’s wings don’t only look lovely, but also are able to repel water. As a result, it’s one of the few butterflies that will fly in the rain! Because of its beauty, the Emperor is popular with collectors, but over collection and habitat destruction threatens this species. It’s essential that we protect and preserve nature and its incredible insects, so future generations can enjoy them as well!

Rajah Brooke’s Birdwing (Trogonoptera brookiana)

The regal Rajah Brooke’s Birdwing is the national butterfly of Malaysia, and it’s easy to see why. This butterfly makes for an impressive sight; it has a wingspan over 7 inches long and has shimmering, electric-green and black wings. It dwells on rainforested islands where it feeds from flowers such as orchid trees. Interestingly, the males love to gather at hot mineral springs to sip the water, while the drabber-colored females are seen far less often, living a more mysterious life in the trees. The caterpillars of this species are white and brown, covered in defensive spines called tubercles. These larvae feed on the poisonous leaves of vines, storing the poison in their bodies so they are toxic to predators that try to eat them. Laws have been made to protect this popular species, attempting to limit the trade and export of these butterflies. Unfortunately, people sometimes still try to smuggle this species to sell to collectors. It’s an important reminder that we need to protect and respect these beautiful creatures, and not let collecting get out of hand.

Great Purple Emperor (Sasakia charonda)

The Great Purple Emperor is Japan’s proud national butterfly, due to their refined beauty and their wide distribution across Japan. They are black or brown butterflies speckled in white and yellow, with the males covered in a gorgeous purple sheen. They like to dwell in the upper canopy of trees but will come down to feed, sipping up tree sap and occasionally seeking minerals from animal droppings or animal carcasses. They are quick, strong flyers and are said to look like birds when they fly. The caterpillars of this species are adorable green larvae with a pair of horns that I think makes them look absolutely charming. These caterpillars enjoy the leaves of hackberry trees, and when winter comes, the fellows will turn a brown color and crawl to the ground and hide among the roots and fallen leaves. When spring arrives, they immerge from hiding and continue to feed until they are ready to pupate and become adults in the summer. Then they take flight with their strong wing beats– truly the kings of the summer forest!

Paper Kite Butterfly (Idea leuconoe)

The Paper Kite Butterfly is known for its slow, graceful flight, looking much like a handkerchief drifting in the breeze. With their silvery white wings, decorated in dramatic black stripes and spots, it only adds to the loveliness of the picture. However, it’s important to note this species is not simply beautiful; it’s also highly poisonous. The caterpillars of Paper Kites feed on a number of toxic vines, and store the poisons in their bodies as they eat. This poison remains when they transform into adults, so any birds that happen by and try to eat this butterfly are in for a nasty surprise. The bird usually survives these encounters but learns a valuable lesson– avoid snacking on these elegant creatures!

Peacock Butterfly (Papilio bianor)

The Peacock Butterfly is a type of swallowtail butterfly, which means its hindwings have extensions that look very much like the tails of swallows. These colorful 'tails’ are actually great defensive mechanisms. If a bird tries to attack the Peacock Butterfly, it may focus instead on the eye-catching tail. This may end up with a bird grabbing a chunk of wing, but the butterfly’s vital body parts are still intact, and it can escape. Next time you’re admiring the gorgeous sparkling tails of the Peacock Butterfly, you can appreciate they aren’t simply for show but can also help protect these insects!

Monarch Butterfly (Danaus plexippus)

This particular butterfly is well-known for its epic migrations. Because Monarchs do not tolerate the cold, each year when winter begins to approach, they migrate en masse southward to Mexico, where they overwinter. They do this by taking advantage of air currents and thermals, traveling amazing distances in the process– sometimes up to 3,000 miles! During this migration, when the butterflies are resting, they gather together in large groups to roost on trees, huddled for warmth. A group of migrating monarchs is a truly incredible sight to behold; the air thick with fluttering wings, the trees absolutely covered in bright black and orange. Once winter has passed, the monarchs begin a return migration, but this one is different, as it spans multiple generations. The butterflies that eventually return northward in the spring are the grandchildren of the ones that left in the winter– in fact, it takes 3-4 generations for the monarchs to return to their northern territories again! Their journeys are truly inspiring.

Moth (Order Lepidoptera)

Time for a little lesson! Want to know the difference between butterflies and moths? A lot of people might think the difference is that moths are nocturnal and rather duly-colored, while butterflies are colorful and active during the day. But the truth is, there are actually a lot of daytime-flying moths, and many of those species are extremely colorful! A better way to tell them apart is to look at their antenna; generally, butterfly antenna are thin with 'clubs’ at the end, while moth antenna are fuzzy or feathery and lack clubs. Also, you can look at their wings when they’re at rest: butterflies usually like to hold their wings closed when they rest, while moths usually hold their wings flat. However, these are just rules of thumb, and there are exceptions. Ultimately, they’re both very closely related insects in the order Lepidoptera, and both equally enjoyable creatures.

Madagascan Sunset Moth (Chrysiridia rhipheus)

It is positively euphoric to gaze upon the Madagascan Sunset Moth, with its wide wingspan of 3 to 3 and a half inches, its eye-catching tails, and its glittering kaleidoscopic colors of red, green, blue and black. This day-flying moth species sips nectar and flits about the forests of Madagascar. Their caterpillars, white larvae clad in black spots and stripes, like to feed upon highly toxic shrubs, and then store the poison in their bodies. When they metamorphose into adults, they retain their toxicity, so predators quickly learn to avoid these dazzling insects. This species is considered one of the most beautiful moth or butterfly species in the world, prized among collectors and sometimes used in the making of jewelry. Of course, I feel the best way of appreciating this moth is the same way you appreciate a sunset; just be present for the moment you’re living in. Thank you for sharing this moment with us, Sunset moth.

Atlas Moth (Attacus atlas)

What a beautiful creature! The Atlas moth is one of the largest moths in the world. Do you see how its wings are massive compared to its little body? And here, the tips of its wings have these large extensions that look like the head of a snake! When potential predators disturb this moth, it flaps its wings and uses these false snake heads to try and spook animals away. It’s a clever tactic, because the Atlas moth must be careful about conserving its energy– it cannot afford to fly great distances. Why? Because it has no mouth. Adult moths simply never eat and live off of the fat reserves they built up when they were feeding as caterpillars. Like the bloom of a flower, the life of the Atlas Moth does not last long, but our worlds are all the richer for having them in it.

Rice Grasshopper (Oxya japonica)

The Rice Grasshopper is considered by people to be an agricultural pest, because it loves to eat crops, especially rice crops. However, the Rice Grasshopper is also considered by people to be, um … a very tasty snack. I have a sad story about Rice Grasshoppers. I was a pretty young hatchling at the time, and I was playing outside. I had been chasing a grasshopper for over an hour. When I finally captured it, I was so excited and proud! It was a beautiful Rice Grasshopper, probably a female, since it was quite large. I brought it back home to show my father. I … I gave it to him so he could look at it, and . . . he ate it in one gulp… . I cried a long time after that. He hadn’t realized I wanted to keep it. But, um … yeah. We don’t always get along so well. I can’t possibly imagine wanting to eat such beautiful, amazing creatures.

Long Locust (Acrida cinerea)

This fantastic-looking grasshopper has an incredibly long, triangular head, with two long antenna on top. They also have amazingly long hind legs, which they use to bound away from predators. They feed upon various grasses and especially have a taste for rice plants. The females of the Long Locust are much larger than the males, and can often be mistaken as a separate species. In Japan, these grasshoppers are known as Shouryou-batta, or “Spirit Grasshopper.” Because the grasshoppers appear in summer and autumn, around the time of the Bon Festival, and the grasshoppers’ bodies are boat-shaped, they remind people of the boats used during the festival to carry the souls of the departed. Quite an honorable reputation for this little locust!

Grasshopper (Infraorder Acrididea)

Grasshoppers come from a family of insects that have ancient roots, all the way back to the Triassic period. They have been chomping away on grasses and other plants for a very long time! They have powerful hind legs they use to spring into the air in order to evade predators. In the moment they leap, they may also flash their brightly-colored wings to startle their enemies. Since you’ve captured this grasshopper, I’m sure you know how surprisingly far and fast they can jump. Actually, if you and I could jump as well as a grasshopper, we could leap the length of a football field! Grasshoppers are also known for their chirping, which they produce by rubbing their powerful hind legs against their wings. Those impressive legs are thus useful for a variety of purposes. To be honest, our legs are pretty boring in comparison.

Migratory Locust (Locusta migratoria)

Locusts are a type of grasshopper that can engage in an absolutely fascinating event: locust swarms. Normally, locusts live a solitary, humble life; green insects that slowly creep about, calmly feeding on grasses and generally avoiding fellow locusts. However, if locust populations start to become too crowded, especially due to high rainfall increasing the food supply, then locusts change rapidly. Their appearances change and they gain bright, colorful markings; also, their behavior switches to being highly gregarious, which means they are drawn to each other in large crowds and they start to act as a single group. They begin to reproduce rapidly and eat voraciously, and will travel over long distances, stripping the land of vegetation. These swarms are sometimes called locust plagues, because they can devastate farmer’s crops and even cause famine! There is some consolation, though … locusts are a good, protein-packed food for people to eat.

Cricket (Family Gryllidae)

The soothing, relaxing song of crickets is produced when crickets rub their textured wings together– this is called stridulation. They sing to attract mates and to mark their territories, and some crickets even have a specific tune they sing after a successful mating. These musical insects are also affected by temperatures; most crickets chirp faster as the temperature increases, and they can be so reliable that if you count the number of chirps, you can estimate the temperature. The language of crickets is actually quite complex and compelling! Crickets hear each other through ears located on their front legs, just below their 'knees.’ Cricket hearing is very sophisticated, actually, and may even rival our own hearing. The next time you hear that gentle chirping in the night, you should stop to really listen to it. Who knows what secrets they could be whispering to you!

Bell Cricket (Homoeogryllus japonicus)

Like most insects, the Bell Cricket has two pairs of wings; the hindwings are membranous and meant for flight, while the front wings are leathery and protective. Bell Crickets make a beautiful chirp by rubbing their front wings together, and many people liken the sound to the chiming of bells. These crickets can change the sound of their songs by vibrating their bodies as they chirp, making the sound of each cricket unique. These lovely musicians are popular pets, traditionally kept in bamboo cages. What’s more, there’s actually a Buddhist temple that raises thousands of Bell Crickets each year, so that people can go there to meditate to the melodious sound of Bell Cricket chirps. It sounds divine to me!

Mole Cricket (Family Gryllotalpidae)

Mole crickets are remarkable little critters, adapted perfectly to a life underground. They use their powerful shovel-like front legs to dig rapidly in the dirt, excavating tunnels in search of food such as roots, grasses and worms. The males will construct horn-shaped tunnels and then chirp inside them, so the tunnels resonate the sound of the chirping. This means while you may never have seen a mole cricket before, you’ve likely heard one without realizing! Mole crickets do occasionally leave the earth, however, and can fly or even swim, if needed. Generally they come to the surface at night, so if you’re particularly lucky, you may get to see one!

Mantis (Order Mantodea)

The mantis is a mighty ambush predator, stalking their prey before seizing them with their spiked, raptorial forelegs, using lightning-speed reflexes. They have huge compound eyes, and their heads can turn 180 degrees as they survey the world for food. They feed upon many insects, and can even take down hummingbirds and rodents! Their hunger will sometimes even extend to eating their own kind; it’s not unheard of for female mantises to consume the heads of the males after mating. This is perhaps not as terrible as it sounds; the male’s sacrifice helps provide nourishment for his future offspring. Still, I must admit, if I am to be reborn as a mantis in the next life, I’d probably prefer to be born a female mantis.

Orchid Mantis (Hymenopus coronatus)

This resplendent mantis is perfectly disguised as a white and pink flower, down to the very petal shape itself! The camouflage helps protect it from predators as well as draw in potential prey. The mantis lies in wait among the bushes and flowers for an unsuspecting butterfly or other insect to wander by, and then snatches it up. Such deadly beauty– a clever mistress of blossoms! These mantises are so skilled at disguise, they can even gradually change color to reflect their environment. To be honest, I feel a certain kinship with the orchid mantis’ camouflaging ways. Perhaps someday I will master the art of flower mimicry, just as they have!

Honey Bee (Genus Apis)

The humble honeybee, a hard-working partner of ours for thousands of years. Cave paintings up to 10,000 years old show people eating honey, and beekeeping in clay pots began around 9,000 years ago in Africa. Because of this long-term relationship, we know quite a lot about our buzzing friends. For example, bees communicate with each other through the medium of dance! When a worker bee finds a great patch of flowers and wishes to tell her sisters about it, she returns to the hive and performs a waggle dance. The dance tells the bees the direction of the flower patch and its distance from the hive. As an artist, I can empathize with the bees. Words often pale in comparison with other methods of expression. Truly, the bees are not only diligent workers but brilliant performance artists.

Wasp (Polistes rothneyi)

Wasps! One of the most misunderstood and amazing families of insects to exist! Did you know there are over 30,000 species of wasps? They come in all shapes and sizes, from the fairy wasps that are around the size of an amoeba to the massive asian giant hornets that are almost two inches long. While some are well-known for constructing papery or mud nests and living in hives, many other species are solitary and live in single, tiny burrows. As a whole, wasps tend to be predatory, preying on a wide range of insects, including many species considered harmful to crops. Wasps also dine upon nectar, however, and can be important plant pollinators. It’s difficult to try and summarize the sheer variety and glory of wasps, but know that they play vital roles in the ecosystem and are truly wondrous creatures!

Robust Cicada (Hyalessa maculaticollis)

Aaaah, the sweet, sonorous cicada. Nothing quite says “summer” like the hypnotic sound of cicadas singing. Cicadas are well-known for their loud, rhythmic songs, but how do they make these sounds? The answer is the tymbals– drum-like organs in the abdomen that males flex back and forth. The sound then reverberates throughout the cicada’s abdomen, magnifying the sound. Robust Cicadas in particular are known for their especially loud chirps. I find these musicians to be deeply inspiring, and it’s always a transcending experience to hold witness to one of their performances!

Gaint Cicada (Cryptotympana holsti)

Did you know that cicadas are seen as symbols of rebirth and immortality in Chinese lore? Just as the cicada lives underground for many, many years and then rises, reborn from the dirt, we hope to emulate such glory. Cicadas were also seen as creatures of high status, as they subsist on dew and perch upon their thrones in the treetops. Because of this symbolism, Chinese royalty has borrowed fashion ideas from the great cicada. Even their crowns were decorated with the image of a cicada, eyes shining bright! A fitting homage to this noble bug.

Brown Cicada (Graptopsaltria nigrofuscata)

While most cicadas have transparent wings, the Brown Cicada sports opaque, brown wings, so it’s pretty easy to recognize. Another recognizable trait is their cry, which is often compared to the sound of hot oil sizzling. These bugs are fond of sipping the sap of trees, including fruit trees. As a result, some people consider the Brown Cicada a pest. Hah! Imagine having the audacity to call these little marvels a pest! The cicadas are only doing what comes natural to any of us– eating to survive. I’ll gladly share the fruit trees with my insect brethren for that.

Evening Cicada (Tanna japonensis)

The males of Evening Cicadas sing a mournful song in the mornings, at dusk, or when the weather turns cool or cloudy. Among the many different cicadas, the sorrowful song of the Evening Cicada is possibly my favorite. But why do cicadas sing? Are they expressing some deep-felt sentiment? Actually, yes. They are expressing perhaps one of the most deep-felt sentiments there can be; loneliness. Evening Cicadas, as well as their cicada relatives, are calling for a mate. Males usually pack into rather large groups and call together, creating quite a large collective sound. Females can hear these calls from around a mile away! It’s a nice thought that because of their mournful cries, the Evening Cicadas are able to happily unite with each other.

Walker Cicada (Meimuna opalifera)

While some cicadas are associated with summer, the song of the Walker Cicada traditionally marks the end of summer and the start of autumn. It has a very characteristic cry, which in Japan is heard as “Tsukutsuku … boushi!” However, the song of this species actually differs depending on the region it is in. That’s right– insects have dialects! Speaking of dialects, the Walker Cicada is actually native to China, but it’s believed it hitched a ride on wooden brooms and was imported to Japan. Now it’s widespread in both countries, in addition to Korea and Taiwan. I wonder what a Walker Cicada would sound like with an Australian dialect? Or an Indian one?

Cicada Shell

This is truly a treasure– a perfectly intact cicada shell! These shells are proof of a wondrous transformation that cicadas undergo. You see, it all begins when a female deposits an egg in a little groove on a tree. The young feed on the fluids of the tree for a while before dropping to the ground and digging their way to safety. They then spend years underground, exploring the depths and dining on roots. Eventually, the young rise from the soil, finally seeing daylight once more, and climb the trunk of a tree. There, they shed their skins, emerging as glorious, winged adults! This shell represents their touching life journey. I hope that it might inspire you, as it does for me.

Darner Dragonfly (Anax parthenope)

Dragonflies are one of my favorite species! Did you know dragonflies were some of the very first winged insects to evolve and have been around for millions of years? Ancient dragonflies had wingspans of up to two feet long! The Darner Dragonfly isn’t that large, of course, but it’s still an impressive creature. They’re powerful predators, capturing their prey mid-flight, kind of making them the hawks of the insect world. Their flying skills are fantastic, and they can fly in all directions, hover, and even fly backwards, so they have unparalleled agility. Because they hunt by sight, they also have amazing eyes, among the best in the insect kingdom; they have up to 30,000 lenses in those enormous compound eyes pointing in all directions, and can detect light in color spectrums well beyond what we can see. If you want to have some fun, just sit back and watch the dragonflies hunt for a while!

Red Dragonfly (Sympetrum frequens)

Ever wonder why dragonflies are usually found near water? They love to hunt in these environments, snatching up and devouring midges, mosquitoes, moths and many others. But dragonflies are also fond of ponds and lakes because those are their breeding grounds. You see, dragonfly larvae are aquatic. The female lays her eggs on plants near the water or will skim the surface of the water with her abdomen, dropping eggs into the water. The nymphs that hatch are active, hungry hunters, devouring mosquito larvae, other aquatic insects or worms, and even tadpoles and small fish. The nymphs enjoy their aquatic lifestyle for a long time, up to five years, occasionally climbing onto a reed to shed their old skins and grow, before eventually molting one last time into a winged adult. Because of their reliance on these ecosystems, dragonflies are great indicators of the health of our wetlands!

Banded Dragonfly (Anotogaster sieboldii)

There has been a very wide range of associations with dragonflies among different cultures. European cultures have historically viewed dragonflies in a very negative light; some have called them “devil’s darning needles” and folklore casts them in villainous roles. Fortunately, other cultures view dragonflies in a very positive way. They are celebrated in some Native American crafts and may symbolize pure water or swiftness; in Japan, dragonflies are strong symbols of courage, luck and happiness, as well as signs of autumn’s arrival. Dragonflies have been used in traditional medicine as well as for food, so some cultures simply associate them with a meal. It’s actually really hard to summarize the many different ways people view dragonflies. Personally, I admire dragonflies’ incredible flying and hunting talents, their sheer beauty, and their tenacious spirits. What do dragonflies mean to you?

Damselfly(Ischnura senegalensis)

The Damselfly is a close relative to the dragonfly, but damselflies tend to be smaller, thinner, and hold their wings along their body at rest. You can also tell by looking at their eyes; damselfly eyes are always separated while most dragonfly eyes are touching. Like the dragonfly, damselflies are talented predators, nabbing flies, mosquitoes, moths and others right out of the air or plucking them off of plants. Males display elaborate courtship dances to impress females. If the male is successful, the damselflies will mate in a complex shape called a mating heart or mating wheel– which is the shape their abdomens make when they curl around each other. The female then lays eggs along the stems of underwater plants. The young that hatch live under water, breathing through feathery gills on their abdomens and feeding on aquatic insects, sometimes molting so they can grow larger. When they’re ready, they immerge from the water and cast off their old skin to immerge as graceful, lithe adults. The coloration of dragonflies and damselflies can range from just about every color of the rainbow, and they often shimmer beautifully in the sun. The next time you’re by a pond or marsh, keep an eye out for these quick, flittering gems!

Firefly (Family Lampyridae)

Fireflies are appealing little beetles with an extraordinary ability: a beautiful bioluminescence located on their backsides. The lights that fireflies produce are chemical reactions that take place inside their transparent abdomens. This light is cool to the touch and is yellow-green in color. Fireflies control their luminescence at will, and will flicker their lights in rhythmic patterns that are unique to each species. This helps males and females locate each other for mating. While many fireflies feed on pollen and nectar, some are carnivorous. Sometimes, females of these carnivorous fireflies will use light signals to their advantage, mimicking the patterns of particular firefly species simply to lure them in so they can eat them. These are femme fatale fireflies, so males need to be careful of them– the mesmerizing displays of fireflies can be a complicated language!

Pondskater (Family Gerridae)

This graceful bug skates effortlessly across the surface of the water, a magnificent feat that us silly vertebrates can only dream of. The pondskater’s body is carefully built to transfer their weight perfectly across their long, slender legs, which are lined with hairs that help repel water. The insects will row across the water with their middle legs and steer with their back legs. Their front legs are shorter and have claws, to help them seize insects that have fallen into the water. They pierce their prey with a proboscis to feed– all while staying on the surface of the water! Pondskaters do pretty much everything on top of the water, even mating. They communicate with other pondskaters by creating ripples in the water; some ripple frequencies are threatening signals while others are mating signals. They are truly masters of their craft. I’d prefer to watch the pondskaters’ dances rather than an ice skater any time!

Giant Water Bug (Family Belostomatidae)

The Giant Water Bug is indeed very large– the largest true bug, which can grow to be around four inches long! They have flattened, oval bodies, with oarlike back legs for swimming and raptorial front legs that are designed for seizing prey. They also have tubes on their abdomen that they breathe through, much like a snorkel. Water Bugs stalk and capture a wide variety of prey, including fish, frogs, and insects, and may even grab turtles and snakes! Once they capture something, they inject it with venomous saliva, then wait for their food to digest before sucking up the liquefied remains. Although these bugs are efficient and aggressive predators, they’re also caring parents; in some species, the female will lay her eggs on the back of the male, and the father will carry them about until they hatch! It’s nice to see father insects taking an active role in parenting as well.

Diving Beetle (Family Dytiscidae)

Diving Beetles are sleek, flat beetles that cruise through the water with ease, using their powerful, hairy back legs to paddle.  Although they’re aquatic they still need to breathe air, and actually store air bubbles under their wing cases before diving, breathing the air through tubes in their abdomens. The Diving Beetle is an active predator, hunting a wide variety of prey including insects, tadpoles and fish. The young of Diving Beetles are also carnivorous predators, and are sometimes called Water Tigers. When the larvae are ready, they bury themselves in the mud to pupate, and immerge as adults. Adult Diving Beetles are surprisingly very capable fliers, and will take off at night in search of new watery habitats. They search for the bright reflection of moonlight bouncing off of bodies of water to help guide them. If you ever find Diving Beetles in a small pond or puddle and wonder how they got there, that’s how!

Stink Bug (Family Pentatomidae)

Aww, a Stink Bug! I love these fellahs. Stink Bugs are a great example of true bugs. Technically speaking, a lot of things we call bugs aren’t really bugs. All bugs are insects, but not all insects are bugs! So what makes a true bug? Well, true bugs like Stink Bugs have beaklike mouthparts called proboscises. They use them to pierce plants (or animals!) and suck up their food. Unlike butterfly or honeybee mouthparts, true bugs can’t roll up their proboscises. True bugs also often produce a pungent defensive spray, like Stink Bugs! People argue over what stink bug spray actually smells like– some say it’s very earthy, others call it woody or oily, and some say it’s bitter and fruity. Although it’s designed to ward off predators, I have to admit I’ve grown quite fond of the smell.

Man-Faced Stink Bug (Catacanthus incarnatus)

The markings of the Man-Faced Stink Bug are bright and colorful, and some people think these markings look like a face. With such an appealing, dramatic appearance, you’d expect these bugs to be popular pets, but actually, people have had a little difficulty raising them in captivity. The challenge is in raising the nymphs. What exactly are nymphs? Well, some insects undergo what’s called complete metamorphosis– for example, butterflies first hatch as caterpillars, then transform into pupae before immerging as adults. Other insects, such as stink bugs, undergo incomplete metamorphosis. Their young are not grubs, but instead are nymphs, which are basically miniature versions of the adults. Our hope is to eventually raise these baby Man-Faced Stink Bugs to full adulthood. If we succeed, we can share the joy of stink bugs with more people!

Ladybug (Family Coccinellidae)

These bright red little beetles actually come in a variety of colors with a variety of spots or stripes. Many cultures consider the ladybug a symbol of good luck, and if one lands upon you, good fortune is sure to find you. Part of the reason they are seen as lucky may be because of their voracious appetites for aphids. You see, aphids are tiny little bugs that love to eat people’s crops, but ladybugs eat aphids by the hundreds and help keep crops safe. Thus, some cultures consider ladybugs to be a divine gift. Next time a ladybug lands upon you, try making a wish. Whether you get the wish or not, you’ll be blessed by the presence of this charming little friend!

Tiger Beetle (Subfamily Cicindelinae)

Tiger Beetles are named because they are powerful predators of the beetle world. But it might be more accurate to call them Cheetah Beetles! The fastest Tiger Beetle can run 5 miles per hour, or 120 body lengths per second. A Cheetah, in comparison, can only run 16 body lengths per second– so when you really think about it, Tiger Beetles are the clear winners. In fact, Tiger Beetles move so fast they have to stop in the middle of running several times to reorient their vision before running again. Even when stopping in the middle of a chase, the beetles have no problem capturing their prey!

Citrus Long-Horned Beetle (Anoplophora chinensis)

The Citrus Long-Horned Beetle has a glossy black body with white spots, and has an impressively long pair of antenna. You’re likely to find it hanging out among the trees, as it’s fond of dining upon the leaves, stems and bark of a wide range of tree species, including citrus and hardwood trees. The females will drill little holes into the bark of a tree to carefully deposit her eggs, one at a time. When the eggs hatch, the larvae will dig into the tree, feeding on the nutritious inner bark. To be truthful, the Citrus Long-Horned Beetle is not very popular among a lot of people, because it’s capable of killing many healthy trees when it feeds and reproduces. Of course, there are natural enemies of these beetles that can help keep populations in check, such as parasites, ants and fungi. Nature does try to keep things in balance!

Violin Beetle (Mormolyce phyllodes)

This elegant beetle has a very narrow neck and head, a wide, flat body and marvelously curved wings, looking very much like a tiny violin. In truth, it is probably not imitating a violin but a brown leaf, which helps it blend in with its environment and avoid predators. Its flat body also helps it slip in between layers of mushrooms and tree bark, where it actively hunts for other insects, especially larvae. If startled, this beetle can release toxic fluid as a defense. This is likely to deter anything that tries to stuff it into their mouths! The Violin Beetle lives in tropical rainforests in Malaysia and other islands, and is threatened by the destruction of its habitat. We must strive to preserve our rainforests so precious creatures such as the Violin Beetle can thrive.

Jewel Beetle (Chrysochroa fulgidissima)

This dazzling little beetle is named after the splendid jewel-like shine to its exoskeleton. This coloration is known as iridescence, and the colors shift depending on how you look at them. Like little drops of sunlight, Jewel Beetles are so prized among people that their shells have been used in jewelry and other crafts. There is also an expression in Japan, tamamushi-iro, that refers to the ever-shifting colors of the Jewel Beetle, and the term can also refer to language that can be interpreted in multiple ways. Personally, I draw a great amount of artistic inspiration from the Jewel Beetle, and from my efforts to capture their ever-changing rainbows of power and vitality!

Rosalia Batesi Beetle (Rosalia batesi)

This enchanting long-horned beetle is a beautiful shade of blue, is covered in black polka dots and sports an impressive pair of antenna that can be almost twice as long as its body. Its entire body is also covered in a velvety, fine hair, including cute little tufts of hair on the antenna. The adults enjoy eating pollen, fruits and sap, while the larvae rely on dead wood for food. While Rosalia Batesi bothers some people because it may feed on crops, many people adore this beetle for its attractive appearance, and it’s commonly featured on stamps and other designs. I think if we all learn to share the land and its bounties, then we can be very happy to share the world with this sprightly spirit of the forest.

Blue Weevil Beetle (Genus Eupholus)

The Blue Weevil Beetle comes in many stunning shades of blue and green, and are so bright and beautiful that some people will use them for jewelry. But beware! These sparkling hues are actually warning signals! The Blue Weevil uses its long beak to bore into leaves, and builds up toxins in its body as it feeds. Anyone who’s hoping to chow down on these effervescent insects will end up getting poisoned. It’s far better to respect and admire the Blue Weevil than to eat it!

Dung Beetle (Familes Geotrupidae, Scarabaeidae)

Dung Beetles come from a number of insect groups, including the earth-boring dung beetles, the scarab beetles, and the small dung beetles. What they all have in common is that they feed upon dung!  This is an incredibly important job, believe it or not. Without dung beetles and other feces-feeding insects, we might be buried up to our necks in animal droppings! The Dung Beetles break down these wastes and return nutrients back to the earth, recycling these materials. Many of them do this by shaping dung into a carefully compacted ball, balancing on top of it, and rolling it away to a safe place so they can feed. Dung Beetles like to roll in straight lines with their balls, and they use the sun and moon to help them navigate– and even the bright stripe of the Milky Way! It’s no wonder many cultures respect and even revere this talented beetle.

Earth-Boring Dung Beetle (Family Geotrupidae)

Like some of their scarab brethren, the Earth-Boring Dung Beetle has a glittering, jewel-like luster to its exoskeleton. This is a very special kind of color! Unlike most colors in the animal kingdom, called pigments, the shells of Earth-Boring Dung Beetles are colored by iridescence, or teeny, tiny structures that bounce light in a particular pattern. The result is stunning to gaze upon! As these beetles spend much time burrowing into the soil, spotting them is truly like finding buried treasure.

Scarab Beetle (Family Scarabaeidae)  

The sacred scarab! Truly, you are fortunate to have come upon one of these little deities. You see, scarab beetles were revered by the ancient Egyptians. When the scarabs rolled balls of dung for their precious young to feast upon, the Egyptians saw them as symbolically pushing the orb of the sun across the sky. In fact, the Egyptian sun God, Ra, was believed to have taken the form of a scarab beetle, named Khepri, and pushed the sun across the sky just like a ball of dung. The Egyptians even placed amulets shaped like scarab beetles over the hearts of mummies to protect them in the afterlife. Scarabs are protectors, bringers of light and of life itself!  

Drone Beetle (Pseudotorynorrhina japonica)

These handsome creatures are a type of scarab beetle, a powerful group of beetles revered by the ancient Egyptians as sacred. The antennae of scarabs are special, and can be folded out gracefully like a fan to better detect odors, or folded back up into a club shape to serve as a weapon! We can only dream of possessing appendages so adaptable and so magnificent in design!

Goliath Beetle (Genus Goliathus)

This mighty beetle is named after the legendary giant Goliath, and it’s easy to see why. This beetle can grow over four inches long, making it one of the largest beetles in the world! It also can weigh over three ounces when it’s a larva, although the adults are only around half that weight. The reason for the difference is because the larvae gorge themselves on decayed leaves, wood and proteins, preparing for their metamorphosis. As adults, they enjoy a lighter diet of tree sap, fruit juices and other sugary substances. To help with foraging, each of this beetle’s legs ends in a pair of hooked claws that are great for climbing and clinging to trees. If one of these beetles happens to attach itself to you with these feet, you’ll need to gently guide them off. If you just grab and pull, the claws might remain attached, and we don’t want their little feetsies to get hurt!

Horned Elephant (Megasoma elephas)

This hefty beast is absolutely gigantic when compared to most beetles– in fact, it’s one of the heaviest beetles in the world. Males have big horns on their heads, which they use mainly to battle with other males for mating privileges. Another feature you might have missed is that their bodies are covered in fine, delicate hairs, making the beetles appear yellow in color. Sometimes, when I’m feeling anxious, I, uh … I pet the Horned Elephant beetles. It’s very soothing. You should try it sometime!

Horned Dynastid (Allomyrina dichotoma)

These proud warriors have heads shaped like a samurai helmet, and make good use of those horns for battle and for digging. While embroiled in territory disputes, a male Dynastid can actually launch its competitor straight into the air! When they aren’t fighting, they can be found calmly hanging out on trees, sipping sap or drinking from ripe fruits. Their young live underground, eat rotting wood, and take a long time to mature– around a year. Then they immerge, as a fresh new batch of warriors of the woods!

Horned Atlas (Chalcosoma atlas)

The Atlas Beetle is named after a titan from Greek Mythology who held up the heavens on his shoulders. The comparison to a Greek God is appropriate, as the Horned Atlas can reach sizes of up to five inches long and can carry hundreds of times its own weight. That makes it one of the strongest animals on the planet, for its size! Personally, it would not surprise me if we found out that a great celestial Atlas Beetle has been holding up the skies all of this time.

Horned Hercules (Dynastes hercules)

The Hercules beetle is named in honor of the roman god Hercules, famed for his great strength and heroic feats. I can think of no greater name for this heroic beetle. The Horned Hercules can carry up to 850 times its own weight, and can grow to be 7 inches in length, making it the longest species of beetle in the whole world. A lot of that length is in its massive horn, which males use to challenge each other to win the affections of female beetles. Once they have mated, these massive beetles produce, as you could guess, massive babies. In fact, the young of Hercules beetles are probably the largest larvae in the world!

Rainbow Stag (Phalacrognathus muelleri)

Oh! My eyes have been blessed, to be allowed to gaze upon the splendor of the Rainbow Stag. This beetle appears to change color depending on the angle you view it, shifting from emerald greens to ruby reds to glittering gold, all with a luscious metallic sheen. This magnificent color fades when the beetle dies, just as a rainbow will fade in the sky. I like to think the Rainbow Stag reminds us of the ephemeral nature of beauty and life, and teaches us to value things while we can.

Golden Stag (Allotopus rosenbergi)

The Golden Stag’s exoskeleton is a breathtaking, metallic gold, making it highly prized by bug lovers and collectors. The shimmering beetles live in tropical jungles at high altitudes, using their short, sturdy mandibles to dig into wood and dine upon tree sap. Collectors have struggled to breed this stag in captivity, as it’s sensitive to temperatures and the young have strict dietary requirements. However, in recent times, there has been more success with captive breeding. Personally, I derive deep joy and satisfaction simply basking in this creature’s presence, regardless of how long it lasts. Come. Let us enjoy this golden moment together.

Cyclommatus Stag (Genus Cyclommatus)

The mandibles of this stag beetle are staggering, often as long as their body. These amazing jaws are used to mine tree sap as well as fight other stag beetles for the right to mate. In fact, males will often throw each other off of trees in their competitions! However, do not be too intimidated by the Cyclommatus Stag; it can be tender as well. They chew through decaying wood to lovingly craft a home for their young. I’ve actually been considering taking inspiration from this stag and adding more rotting wood to my bedroom. I think it would give it a cozy touch.

Miyama Stag (Lucanus maculifemoratus)

This handsome stag has a thick, bumpy exoskeleton and powerful-looking mandibles. However, despite its tough appearance, the Miyama is a gentle beast. In truth, you can easily injure one if you mishandle it, so care should be taken when interacting with this delicate soul. Miyamas are popular with children, and are widespread in their native lands, in both mountainous places as well as plains. Actually, one of my very first friends was a Miyama Stag. They helped me learn the deep and mysterious art of communication with insectkind. Thus, I will always have a soft spot for these gentle giants.

Saw Stag (Prosopocoilus inclinatus)

Saw Stags are popular pets in their homeland, and it’s easy to see why. Those handsome reddish brown shells, those magnificent saw-like mandibles, those curious little eyes, those hook-like claws! As they grow, that pair of jaws grows along with them, gaining more teeth and a larger curve. You needn’t fear, though; this beetle is unlikely to bite you unless you stick your finger directly into its mouth. In fact, when this beetle feels vibrations, it may freeze and feign death as a defense mechanism. They clearly prefer to avoid a fight unless it’s necessary. The Saw Stags that I take care of certainly will never have a reason to fight– I spoil them rotten with all the bananas and beetle jelly they could possibly want!

Giant Stag (Dorcus Hopei Binodulosus)

The Giant Stag is probably the most popular stag to keep as a pet! They’re very large, docile, easy to breed, and live quite long for a stag beetle, up to five years! People also find their mandibles to be very appealing, which have a single tooth on either side. They will rarely use these jaws to bite, unless you go out of your way to bother them. In fact, these are shy beetles, and they will spend a lot of their time just hiding away in holes inside of trees. They will peacefully sip tree saps and fruits, and prefer to be active at night. In the wild, Giant Stag populations have decreased due to over collection, although fortunately people are turning more and more to breeding in order to keep wild populations safe. This serves as an important reminder– bugs need to be treated with care and respect, even when we’re acting out of love!

*Giaraffe Stag

Walking Stick (Order Phasmatodea)

Walking Sticks are excellent examples of the art of camouflage in its purest form. Not only do they mimic twigs and branches, all the way down to the very knots in the wood, but as they walk, they mimic the sway of branches in the breeze. They have truly become one with their environment. I hope to achieve this level of focus in my own life someday, as I surround myself with all that is arthropod.

Walking Leaf (Family Phylliidae)

These incredible insects have taken camouflage to the next level. Their bodies so closely resemble leaves that they include the veins and even nibble-marks on leaves, and they can even fool leaf-eating insects! As they walk, they sway back and forth, imitating a leaf blowing in the breeze. They enjoy munching on leaves, because the Walking Leaf not only disguises itself as leaves, but eats them as well. They are truly immersed in leafhood.

Bagworm (Family Psychidae)

Bagworms are not really worms, but are the caterpillars of a special kind of moth. These charming little larvae construct themselves beautiful 'bags’ made out of silk and bits of things they find in the environment– twigs, leaves, lichens, sand, and even bits of plastic! They wear these protective bags as disguises as they crawl about and feed on leaves or lichens. When they’re ready to pupate, the bags serve as the perfect cocoon! Males will immerge from the case and spread their wings and fly away. Females, however, are a different story. Bagworm females often are wingless, and may spend the rest of their lives inside their childhood casings. Males will visit the females in their bags to breed. Imagine being so attached to your mobile home that you never leave! Considering how artistic some of these bags are, I guess I can’t blame them.

Ant (Family Formicidae)

The extraordinary ant, a species that has existed for millions of years and currently lives in all corners of the globe. These creatures form complex colonies, often made up of hundreds or thousands of individuals, and have a division of labor: worker ants, soldier ants, fertile male drones, and an egg-laying queen ant. It would be erroneous to think of ants in individual terms, as really, individual ants come together to form a super-organism, the ant colony. They always cooperate for the wellbeing of the colony as a whole. Individual ants are marvelously talented in the ways of chemical communication, and they produce all kinds of scents to help communicate with their sisters; signals to signify food, warnings signals for enemies, and so forth. This is how ants are able to act together as a group. With this kind of communal power, ants can accomplish amazing things. They’ve been known to build bridges with their own bodies for their sisters to cross; some species will create and tend to underground fungus gardens; other species will herd and tend to honeydew-producing aphids as if they were tending cattle! Ants teach is something very important– the power of cooperation.

Hermit Crab (Superfamily Paguroidea)

O-oh! It’s a Hermit Crab! These aren’t insects, but they are arthropods. What defines an arthropod is that they are invertebrates with segmented bodies and jointed limbs, as well as a chitinous exoskeleton. That means Hermit Crabs and insects are relatives! And they’re very charming relatives, too. Hermit Crabs have ten legs, inquisitive stalk eyes, and soft bodies protected by a shell. But these crabs don’t grow their own shells! Instead, they borrow empty shells they happens to find, which are often sea snail shells. As this type of crab ages and grows larger, it must find new, larger shells to borrow. Sometimes, when a Hermit Crab is looking for a new shell, and finds one that’s too large, it will sit and wait by the large shell. Other hermit crabs will pass by and join the first, waiting in an orderly line. Then, when a Hermit Crab passes by that is a perfect fit for the shell, all the crabs will quickly exchange shells in sequence! All that shell-trading may be a lot of work, but in the end, it’s worth it for such a cozy home.

Fly (Musca domestica)

Aah, the common house fly. While this species of insect is rarely adored by people, the fly still has plenty of things to admire. This little scavenger plays an important role in breaking down wastes and organic matter, returning them to the earth. But the fly feeds on liquids, so how does it eat feces, carrion and rotting fruits or vegetation? Well, it regurgitates saliva from its stomach, which helps dissolve the food, and then sucks it up! You might also have observed that flies like to wander around a piece of food quite a bit before feeding. They’re likely tasting the food with their feet! This is also why you can often see flies carefully cleaning their feet. They need to stay tidy so their taste and tactile receptors work well. True, the fly can transfer diseases to human food by landing on something contaminated and then landing on human food. Yet there’s no denying they still play an important role in waste disposal– not to mention a vital role in the food web, as they’re food for many, many animals!

Mosquito (Family Culicidae)

Little mosquito, oh how your reputation precedes you. This tiny fly is known for being a blood-sucker, but did you know only the females suck blood? The males feed upon nectar. The females seek a blood meal so they can produce eggs. Female mosquitoes are able to narrow in on a person or animal by detecting body heat and the carbon dioxide of their breath. The mosquito then lands, inserts her long proboscis, and injects saliva into her target to help with blood flow, and feeds until she’s all filled up. The itchy bite that she leaves behind is actually because of the mosquito’s saliva. Now, mosquitoes can transmit some bad diseases when they bite people, there’s no denying. But mosquitoes are also very useful to scientists, who study the germs that can live inside mosquitoes. By studying them, we can learn to better control the diseases that they can cause.

Flea (Order Siphonaptera)

Fleas are teeny, tiny parasites that hunger for a blood meal. They have smooth, flattened bodies that help them move through fur or feathers with ease, hooked claws to help them cling to their hosts, and extremely powerful hind legs for jumping. A flea’s jump is incredible, and they can propel themselves around 200 times their own body length, making them one of the best jumpers in the world. While many flea species are very picky about their hosts, some fleas are generalists and may feed upon a variety of animals. Females will lay their eggs on the skin or the bedding of their host animals, and they will produce hundreds to thousands of eggs in their lifetime. The eggs hatch into little wiggling larvae that feed upon organic matter and their parents’ feces. When they mature into adults and take a blood meal, they can mate and begin the cycle anew. I can understand why people wouldn’t be terribly fond of fleas feeding on them, but luckily for me, fleas don’t care for reptile blood.

Snail (Phylum Mollusca, Class Gastropoda)

Our slithering, slime-coated companions are not actually insects! Instead, snails are mollusks, close relatives of clams, oysters and other shellfish. They have soft, mucous-coated bodies– the underside of the snail is actually one big 'foot’ of sorts that pulses rhythmically to propel the snail forward. The slime that coats a snail helps it glide efficiently along the ground, and also stick to surfaces. Additionally, this slime helps protect snails from a number of hazards, such as harsh sunlight, sharp objects, and even bacteria! I’m actually a little jealous. Being coated in slime has an awful lot of benefits, as it turns out!

Pill Bug (Order Isopoda, family Armadillidiidae)

Oh yes, the Pill Bug is something special! They’re actually not bugs at all but land-dwelling crustaceans– related to crabs, lobsters, and shrimp. They still retain their fondness for damp environments, so you’ll often see them under rocks or in tree stumps. In these wonderfully wet and dark places, they go about their business, eating decaying plant material and playing a vital role in decomposition and returning nutrients to our great earth. If you try to pick one up, it’s likely to roll into a ball– its plated armor allows it to curl into this protective posture. Wait a little while, and the Pill Bug may stop feeling shy and uncurl again, and you might get the chance to feel its many little legs walking in a gentle rhythm. It kind of tickles!

Wharf Roach(Ligia exotica)

Wharf Roaches are not actually cockroaches– they’re not even insects, but instead are isopods, relatives of crabs and lobsters. They love to wander along rocky coastlines and harbor walls, and scavenge organic debris and algaes, acting as little beach cleaners. You might already be familiar with a close cousin of the Wharf Roach, the Pill Bug. There are some quick and easy ways to tell them apart, though. The Wharf Roach doesn’t roll into a ball, and the Wharf Roach has large, bulging eyes and lovely, long antenna. Another fun fact about Wharf Roaches is that often, the females will carry around their eggs, holding onto them with specialized egg-carrying appendages. If you have appendages custom-made for parental care, you know you’re gonna be good with children!

Centipede (Scolopendra subspinipes)

My multilegged little marcher! The name 'centipede’ means '100 legs,’ but a centipede doesn’t actually have exactly 100 legs. Instead, it has anywhere from 30 to 354 legs, with one pair of legs per body segment. But because they always have an odd number of leg pairs, they never reach 100 exactly. Centipedes also have a pair of modified legs on their heads called forcipules, which inject venom into their prey. Be careful when interacting with centipedes, though! The centipede may bite more than just prey– it can bite anyone that it feels may be threatening them. This bite isn’t usually fatal, just painful, but it does mean you should respect the centipede’s boundaries, as with any creature. While centipedes can be aggressive, they can also be very kind; a large number of centipedes are very attentive mothers, wrapping their bodies around their eggs and remaining until they hatch. That tender, maternal embrace … those baby centipedes are very lucky to grow up so loved!

Spider (Order Araneae)

The bewitching arachnid! With their eight legs and eight eyes, their fang-tipped chelicerae and their wriggling pedipalps, how could you not fall in love? Spiders can produce silk, an amazing substance that’s flexible yet strong, and very versatile– they often use it to weave wondrous webs they wander like wizards, detecting the faintest vibrations when an insect has been captured. Other spiders are ambush predators, and can chase prey down at great speeds. Whatever method a spider chooses, they are truly masters of the hunt.

Scorpion (Order Scorpiones)

Behold, the scorpion! This dapper predator is an arachnid, which means it has eight legs and two body segments. Scorpions also have pinchers for grabbing prey and tails with venomous stingers. Fear not, however! Of the 2,000 or so scorpion species, while all are venomous, only a handful of about 25 or so have venom that is any real danger to humans. Even with those species, if you treat them with care, you should be safe and sound. The truth is, scorpions simply want to go about their lives, roaming around at night and finding insects to eat. They’re excellent hunters, and also excellent eaters! They can eat a great deal in one sitting and store food, so they can survive for long periods without food if needed. Scorpions are also caring parents. The females give live birth, carefully cradle their newborns, and then carry their babies on their backs. It’s honestly adorable.

Tarantula (Family Theraphosidae)

I’m told that a lot of people fear this sublime arachnid, due to its imposing size and its many legs. But tarantulas are actually very gentle, easygoing spiders, overall. While they do have venomous bites, those bites usually aren’t any worse than a bee sting. In fact, you should be more careful about their urticating hairs– that is, itchy hairs on their abdomens that they will fling at predators that frighten them. If you don’t give the tarantula a reason to fear, though, then they will leave you alone too. Actually, quite a few people keep tarantulas as pets. They like to dine upon insects, although they’ll occasionally eat larger things, like frogs, mice and even birds. Tarantulas are very good at sneaking up on their prey because each of their legs are tipped with furry, adorable little paws, which help them climb and sense their prey. Eight little fluffy paws! That’s four times the adorableness that cats and dogs have!

This is a repost on a new blog. The original post was on Aug 13, 2020.

[rapeculturerealities]

I moved to Los Angeles to become an actress at 24. These are character descriptions of roles I have read for: “thin, attractive, Dave’s wife”; “robot girl, a remarkable feat of engineering”; “her breasts are large and she’s wearing a red sweater.”

I stuffed my bra for that last one. I still did not get the part.

After a while it was hard to tell what was the greater source of my depression: that I could not book a part in a horror film where I had three lines and died on Page 4, or that I was even auditioning to play these roles at all. After dozens of auditions and zero callbacks, my mom suggested I get breast implants. From her perspective, I had walked away from a coveted job at Goldman Sachs and chosen a profession of self-commodification. She wanted to help me sell better.

But I wasn’t drawn to acting because I wanted to be desired. I was drawn to acting because I felt it would allow me to become the whole, embodied person I remembered being in childhood — one that could imagine freely, listen deeply and feel wholeheartedly.

I continued to audition and continued to fail. My depression deepened. My self-esteem plummeted. My boyfriend would get drunk and punch holes in the wall next to my head. I let him. He spat in my face. I let him. He dissolved into tears in my arms. I let him. And then I sifted through the ashes of his anger and his father’s anger before him to help him uncover the forgiveness he needed to move on. I was auditioning to be “Dave’s wife.” I was “robot girl, a remarkable feat of engineering.”

After a day of running from men with chain saws in audition rooms and a night of running from the man I shared a bed with, I decided I was done auditioning. I felt I had to write my way out of these roles or I wouldn’t find my way in the real world, either. I could not be what I could not see onscreen.

So I went to the library in downtown Los Angeles and started reading books and watching films about how to write dramas for the screen. I clung to Jodie Foster in Jonathan Demme’s “Silence of the Lambs,” to Holly Hunter in Jane Campion’s “The Piano.”

But aside from a handful of exceptions, I was overwhelmed by the number of dramatic narratives that murdered their female characters.

In “The Big Heat” she has a pot of boiling coffee thrown in her face and is then shot in the back. In “Chinatown” the bullet tears through her brain and out her eye. And in case this seems like a trend of the past, consider the more recent noir “Blade Runner 2049,” where the holographic femme fatale is deleted and the remaining women are stabbed, drowned and gutted like a fish.

Even the spirited Antigone, the brave Joan of Arc and the unfettered Thelma and Louise meet tragic ends in large part because they are spirited, brave and unfettered. They can defy kings, refuse beauty and defend themselves against violence. But it’s challenging for a writer to imagine a world in which such free women can exist without brutal consequences.

We live in a world that is a direct reflection of these stories we’ve been telling. Close to four women a day are murdered in America at the hands of their partners or former partners. One out of every four women in America has been the victim of a rape.

I am one of those one out of four. Our narratives tell us that women are objects and objects are disposable, so we are always objectified and often disposed of.

There are centuries of trial and error inside the “hero’s journey,” in which a young man is called to adventure, challenged by trials, faces a climactic battle and emerges victorious, changed and a hero. And while there are narrative patterns for the adventures of girls — “Alice in Wonderland,” “The Wizard of Oz” — those are few and far between, and for adult women, even less so.

Even when I found myself writing stories about women rebelling against the patriarchy, it still felt like what I largely ended up describing was the confines of patriarchy. The more fettered I felt inside the real world, the more I turned toward science fiction, speculative fiction and lo-fi fantasy.

I eventually co-wrote, produced and starred in two microbudget films, “Another Earth” and “Sound of My Voice.” Both stories left reality just far enough behind to give me the mental freedom to imagine female characters behaving in ways not often seen onscreen.

I emerged from the Sundance Film Festival with offers to act in projects I would never have been allowed to read for a week prior. Most of those roles were still girlfriend, mistress, mother. But there was a new character on offer to me as well, one that survived the story.

Enter, stage right: the Strong Female Lead.

She’s an assassin, a spy, a soldier, a superhero, a C.E.O. She can make a wound compress out of a maxi pad while on the lam. She’s got MacGyver’s resourcefulness but looks better in a tank top.

Acting the part of the Strong Female Lead changed both who I was and what I thought I was capable of. Training to do my own stunt work made me feel formidable and respected on set. Playing scenes where I was the boss firing men tasted like empowerment. And it will always feel better to be holding the gun in the scene than to be pleading for your life at the other end of the barrel.

It would be hard to deny that there is nutrition to be drawn from any narrative that gives women agency and voice in a world where they are most often without both. But the more I acted the Strong Female Lead, the more I became aware of the narrow specificity of the characters’ strengths — physical prowess, linear ambition, focused rationality. Masculine modalities of power.

I thought back to the films I watched and stories I read burrowed deep in the stacks of the library. I began to see something deeper and more insidious behind all those images of dead and dying women.

When we kill women in our stories, we aren’t just annihilating female gendered bodies. We are annihilating the feminine as a force wherever it resides — in women, in men, of the natural world. Because what we really mean when we say we want strong female leads is: “Give me a man but in the body of a woman I still want to see naked.”

It’s difficult for us to imagine femininity itself — empathy, vulnerability, listening — as strong. When I look at the world our stories have helped us envision and then erect, these are the very qualities that have been vanquished in favor of an overwrought masculinity.

I’ve played the Strong Female Lead in real life, too — as an analyst at an investment bank before coming to Hollywood. I wore suits, drank Scotch neat and talked about the women and the men I was sleeping with like commodities on an open market. I buried my feminine intelligence alive in order to survive. I excelled at my linear task of making more money from a lot of money regardless of the long-term consequences for others and the environment.

The lone female V.P. on my floor and my mentor at the time gave me the following advice when she left to partner at a hedge fund: Once a week, open the door to your office when they finally give you one, and place a phone call where you shout a string of expletives in a threatening voice.

She added that there doesn’t actually need to be someone on the other end of the line.

I don’t believe the feminine is sublime and the masculine is horrifying. I believe both are valuable, essential, powerful. But we have maligned one, venerated the other, and fallen into exaggerated performances of both that cause harm to all. How do we restore balance? Or how do we evolve beyond the limitations that binaries like feminine/masculine present in the first place?

In 2014 I went back to the library and encountered Octavia Butler’s “Parable of the Sower,” a sci-fi novel written in 1993 imagining a 2020 where society has largely collapsed from climate change and growing wealth inequality. Butler’s heroine, the 17 year-old Lauren, has “hyperempathy” — she feels, quite literally, other people’s pain. This feminine gift and curse uniquely prepares her to survive the violent attack on her community in Los Angeles and successfully encourage a small tribe north to begin again from seeds she has saved from her family’s garden.

Butler felt to me like a lighthouse blinking from an island of understanding way out at sea. I had no idea how to get there, but I knew she had found something life saving. She had found a form of resistance.

Butler and other writers like Ursula Le Guin, Toni Morrison and Margaret Atwood did not employ speculative fiction to colonize other planets, enslave new life-forms, or extract alien minerals for capital gains only to have them taken at gunpoint by A.I. robots. These women used the tenets of genre to reveal the injustices of the present and imagine our evolution.

With these ideas in mind, Zal Batmanglij and I wrote and created “The OA,” a Netflix series about Prairie, a blind girl who is kidnapped and returns seven years later to the community she grew up in with her sight restored. She opens up to a group of lost teenage boys in her neighborhood, telling them about her captivity and the inter-dimensional travel she discovered to survive it. It turns out these boys need to hear Prairie’s story as much as she needs to tell it. For the boys face their own kind of captivity: growing up inside the increasingly toxic obligations of American manhood.

As time has passed, I’ve come to understand what deep influence shaping a narrative has. Stories inspire our actions. They frame for us existences that are and are not possible, delineate tracks we can or cannot travel. They choose who we can find empathy for and who we cannot. What we have fellow feeling for, we protect. What we objectify and commodify, we eventually destroy.

I don’t want to be the dead girl, or Dave’s wife. But I don’t want to be a strong female lead either, if my power is defined largely by violence and domination, conquest and colonization.

Sometimes I get a feeling of what she could be like. A truly free woman. But when I try to fit her into the hero’s journey she recedes from the picture like a mirage. She says to me: Brit, the hero’s journey is centuries of narrative precedent written by men to mythologize men. Its pattern is inciting incident, rising tension, explosive climax and denouement. What does that remind you of?

And I say, a male orgasm.

And she says: Correct. I love the arc of male pleasure. But how could you bring me into being if I must satisfy the choreography of his desire only?

And I say: Good on you. But then how do I bring you into being?

Then I hear only silence.

But even in the silence I dream of answers. I imagine new structures and mythologies born from the choreography of female bodies, non-gendered bodies, bodies of color, disabled bodies. I imagine excavating my own desires, wants and needs, which I have buried so deeply to meet the desires, wants and needs of men around me that I’m not yet sure how my own desire would power the protagonist of a narrative.

These are not yet solutions. But they are places to dig.

Excavating, teaching and celebrating the feminine through stories is, inside our climate emergency, a matter of human survival. The moment we start imagining a new world and sharing it with one another through story is the moment that new world may actually come.

[nuitapp]

When the Planet ♃ of Luck, Growth, and Expansion was traversing through his home territory of Sagittarius, the party didn’t stop! But now, Jupiter is entering serious Capricorn on Dec. 3, so the party may wane…just a bit! But Jupiter is a positive influence no matter what it transits, so there are opportunities to manifest blessings in your life with this great benefic. Jupiter is travelling through the territory of the intense Saturn & Pluto conjunction that is building currently and is exact in January, giving us a welcome break for the part of our charts that has been under this heavy influence. Capricorn is all about discipline, and putting in those step by step efforts towards your goals, so if you’ve been doing the work in this sector, Jupiter is here to bring you the rewards of your work!

Overall themes of Jupiter of Capricorn will be:

📍Getting rewarded for our hard work towards our goals

📍Expanding our work ethic

📍Getting realistic about our long term goals

📍Bringing blessings with government, structures, and big business

📍Improving relationships with father or authority figures

While we’ll all be feeling an expansion around general Capricornian themes, where it’s transiting by 🏠 is where the cosmos is REALLY working for you. Jupiter’s blessings aren’t guaranteed - it represents opportunity, but it’s up to you to take action.

The team at NUiT have added positive mantras so you can work with the energy and begin to manifest YOUR Jupiter in Capricorn gifts!

Jupiter in Capricorn for Capricorn risings - 1st 🏠 expansions

Our rising or ascendant sign is the view by which we look at the 🌍 around us. So you should find Capricorn risings, that your mindset is much more expanded and optimistic with Jupiter crossing over your ascendant. Thank goodness, because you all have been hit by so much heaviness with Saturn, Pluto and South Node gathered on your sign. Expect this transit to feel much more optimistic and light. You’ll find you’re more apt to say YES to life. This optimistic influence is why many associate Jupiter ascendant transits with gaining weight - you might find yourself saying YES to dessert, that cooking class, that winery tour more often! You could say yes to travelling, to meeting different people, studying a new topic, taking a new class, getting more spiritual or making a lifestyle change. Expect the weight on your shoulders to be lifted, ESPECIALLY after January, Capricornians.

“I expand my worldview

I welcome in new experiences to my life”

Jupiter in Capricorn for Aquarius risings - 12th 🏠 expansions

Aquarius, you’ve been doing lots of work on your own internal psyche. It could have been an isolating influence this past year, with Saturn, Pluto and South Node heavying your subconscious processes. You may have had to put in work towards dealing with the skeletons in your closet, analyzing your subconscious programming and perhaps even doing shadow work. Jupiter in the 12th 🏠 transits can be a highly spiritual time, of diving within, to understand the inner you and getting to know yourself on a deeper level. 12th 🏠 is the 🏠 of isolation, so you may be feeling more drawn to spending more time alone, or want to 📓 a spiritual retreat to get away from your daily reality. Frame this year as a time to uncover what you hold back and really dive into the inner you.

“I dive within for inner knowledge and my sense of faith

I enjoy my own company”

Jupiter in Capricorn for Pisces risings - 11th 🏠 expansions

Pisces risings, you 🐟 are so energetically sensitive. This Saturn, Pluto and South Node in your 11th 🏠 may have been brutal to live through, but you did the work to clean out your friend groups. You may have been working to identify the people who uplift your energy and the people who take away from it. If you’ve had to cut off some toxic influences, the Jupiter in Capricorn transit will bring you some worldly, spiritual friends to reward you from the work in realizing your worth.  You may feel an expansion in the people you encounter or with your online presence - widening your influence. 11th 🏠 is also the sector of our chart ruling our hopes and dreams, so you could potentially feel more optimistic around your goals and where life will take you. Let the Capricorn influence inspire you to put in the work towards that big picture vision

“I expand my network

I receive recognition”

Jupiter in Capricorn transit for Aries risings - 10th 🏠 expansions

Aries risings, lots of pressure has been coming up for you all to crystallize your public persona and career. You could be feeling like you have needed to prove yourself to others. It may have been feeling as of late that you’ve been putting in twenty times the effort and receiving none of the praise at work. Jupiter entering this sector should bring some rewards - perhaps a promotion, a period of ✌️ with your authority figures or freedom if you’ve wanted to shift career paths. You could receive positive recognition in your line of work or attract some new opportunities - make the most of it, Aries!

“I invite in 💛-aligned career opportunities”

Jupiter in Capricorn transit for Taurus risings - 9th 🏠 expansions

Taurus, you all are realistic, hard working folks. But you may have found this past year, you’ve been feeling a little blocked in your worldview, spiritual mindset or perspective, being more pessimistic about this 🌍 and what’s possible for it. You’ve been working to get your ducks in a row - perhaps getting your passports ready for travel, working at your schoolwork or gaining a certification in some area. Jupiter in Capricorn will bring you the rewards you’ve been working for this past year and broadening your perspective.  If you’ve been wanting to move and travel abroad, your lucky streak starts Dec. 3 and lasts for about a year, so all of your work will be well worth it! You may start a new certification or class, broadening your mental perspective if you aren’t interested in physically travelling,  since Taurus does tend to be a comfy homebody like . You may get more spiritual and join a new spiritual group - say yes, bulls!

“I broaden my perspective and invite in new opportunities for learning, travelling and faith”

Jupiter in Capricorn transit for Gemini risings - 8th 🏠 expansions

Gemini risings, there could have been some changes in your partner’s income in the past year. Perhaps your business partner was sued, your spouse lost their job or your parents stopped supporting you financially. In one way, it hasn’t been a year you’ve felt like you can truly depend on those around you, rather you had to go out and get what you wanted for yourself. But with this transit, it could bring an expansion in the moral, emotional, financial or spiritual support you receive from others. Jupiter in Capricorn will reward you for being disciplined about your own work and finances, and you may begin to receive support from others. You could have lucrative payoffs from a legal case, receive dividends from your stocks or otherwise just reap 💰 from others.

“I invite in support from others”

Jupiter in Capricorn transit for Cancer risings - 7th 🏠 expansions

Cancers, you sensitive souls don’t necessarily like being in the spotlight, but with North Node transiting your sign this year, you’ve been thrust into the spotlight, whether on social media, at work or with your creative projects. You may have found this year really called upon you to step up and depend on yourself. The heaviest planets in the zodiac have been weighing down your 7th 🏠 of other people, so you could have been attracting karmic partners, or people who weren’t emotionally there for you whatsoever. With Jupiter tracing the steps of Saturn and Pluto, that will change starting Dec. 3. You’ll start to attract more optimistic, worldly, educated individuals who uplift you and support you. Jupiter also rules freedom, so if you’ve felt stuck in a stagnant 💛 or business relationship, you could free yourself from their influence as well. You deserve this, crabs. Be open!

“I attract optimistic, joyful people”

Jupiter in Capricorn transit for Leo risings - 6th 🏠 expansions

On Dec. 8 the Jupiter rays will be moving into the sector of life ruling service, day to day and health. This year has been rough on you lions. With Saturn, Pluto and South Node going through this sector, everything has just felt like so much WORK to maintain and you may be feeling weighed down with all of the burdens. You could be feeling low energy or listless, but with Jupiter illuminating this sector, you could get some answers to your health problems or a solution of some sort. You may find lions that it’s more pleasant to take care of your health. You may start up a new health practice or take it more seriously. Jupiter will also cast a glow on your act of daily working, so you may find it more pleasant working and have better working relationships.

“I find it enjoyable taking care of my body and my obligations.”

Jupiter in Capricorn transit for Virgo risings - 5th 🏠 expansions

Virgo, your detail-oriented mercurial minds is what makes you so beautiful, but over the past year, you’ve been so critical of your own creations. You’ve felt more interested in birthing something new but felt blocked in being able to fully explore it due to your overly critical mind. This is the inner 👶 🏠, so with Jupiter expanding it, you can ease up the stress and feel more expansive. Jupiter in 5th 🏠 will bring the confidence you need to perhaps put your work out there boldly, just as a celebration of being alive. Or, if you’ve been limiting in regards to your 💛 life, this energy could bring happiness, confidence and  fun back to your dating life.

“I create from my 💛”

Jupiter in Capricorn transit for Libra risings - 4th 🏠 expansions

My balanced scales, you’ve been working so hard to create a steady foundation for yourself. Family relationships could have been tense or your living environment could be stressful in 2019. Maybe you had to put in a ton of work on your 🏠 or apartment, with repairs and maintenance eating at your wallet. 4th 🏠 also rules emotional state, so you could be feel apathetic and detached from your daily reality, but Jupiter brings your internal state ✌️. You may free yourself from a toxic living situation, enjoy a period of ✌️ with your family members or expand your physical environment by remodelling or redecorating your space.

“I build a comforting, inspiring sanctuary”

Jupiter in Capricorn transit for Scorpio risings - 3rd 🏠 expansions

This Capricorn energy makes a nice sextile to your Scorpio energy, giving you some more positive energy. You may expand your skill sets, choosing to invest in a skill set or spend more time marketing yourself or your business. You could gain a new certification, in a topic you’ve been interested in - yoga, welding, you name it! It’s a nice time to be curious about the 🌍 around you after a period of feeling limited or blocked.

“I enhance my skill set.”

Jupiter in Capricorn transit for Sagittarius risings - 2nd 🏠 expansions

Sagittarius, you’ve likely been working harder than you ever have before and been feeling like you’re not reaping any of the rewards. Jupiter is coming to give you some rewards of your monetary reality. You could get a raise, start a second stream of income or free yourself from a job position that was not aligned with your goal. Jupiter’s luck could cast a glow around your 💰 or jobs, so support it by looking for a job with more income. You could also manifest an opportunity to work abroad or remotely - boost your 🏦 account AND your worldview, Sagittarians!

“I expand my 💰”

[tremendouspeachduck]

Psychopaths walk among us. Here's how to resist their evilness.

How do the Dems try to manipulate?

The psychopath patient believes military is nothing more than a strong-arm to subjugate other countries or peoples.  They don’t get that we defend what we’re proud of.

Our country cheered yet another stellar jobs report released by the Bureau of Labor Statistics. And unlike the sluggish expansion of the Obama years, the lion’s share of this labor market strength benefits middle-income and previously ignored workers. For example, non-managerial wages accelerated at a 12-month rate of 2.7 percent, the highest in a decade. The jobless rate for non-college graduates fell to the lowest level since 2001. Even for those who did not complete high school, good news abounds, as the jobless rate for that working-class, underdog population has now been below 6 percent for the each of the past five months… .

They use ways to convince.  "Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that can be described in different variations of three words: 'That didn't happen,' 'You imagined it,' and 'Are you crazy?'" Therapist explains. "Gaslighting is perhaps one of the most insidious manipulative tactics out there because it works to distort and erode your sense of reality; it eats away at your ability to trust yourself and inevitably disables you from feeling justified in calling out abuse and mistreatment."

How can you fight back? "Ground yourself in your own reality--sometimes writing things down as they happened, telling a friend, or reiterating your experience to a support network can help to counteract the gaslighting effect,"

The psychopath patient believes military costs too much money.  How can they put a price on reforms?

With Pres. Trump all the minorities are gaining.   These reforms represent a particularly powerful tailwind for Hispanics, statistically by far the most entrepreneurial demographic in America. Speaking of Hispanics, the labor market news for them has been stellar. In U.S. history, there are only eight months where Hispanics report a jobless rate below 5 percent, and an incredible seven of those eight months have been in the last year alone under Trump’s growth agenda. The news is similarly strong for blacks, where the gap between black and white unemployment shrank to the smallest disparity on record. If President Trump is a racist, as his media critics constantly (and unfairly) allege, then he is remarkably bad at it!

They use ways to convince.  You know when toxic people claim all the nastiness that surrounds them is not their fault, but yours? That's called projection. We all do it a little, but the narcissist and psychopath do it a lot. "Projection is a defense mechanism used to displace responsibility of one's negative behavior and traits by attributing them to someone else," notes the therapist.

The solution? "Don't 'project' your own sense of compassion or empathy onto a toxic person and don't own any of the toxic person's projections either," The therapist recommends. "Projecting our own conscience and value system onto others has the potential consequence of being met with further exploitation."

The psychopath patient has conspiracy beliefs.  Example.  It can be said that a co-worker sometimes fails to consider the long-term ramifications of certain financial decisions. The office psychopath claims you called him "a loose cannon." You noted the deal could possibly go south if X, Y, and Z conditions occur. Your narcissistic colleague tells the boss you said the deal is "a disaster."

What's going on? It's not just that your nemesis didn't understand what you said. It's that he or she had no interest in understanding.

"The malignant narcissist isn’t always an intellectual mastermind--many of them are intellectually lazy. Rather than taking the time to carefully consider a different perspective, they generalize anything and everything you say, making blanket statements that don't acknowledge the nuances in your argument or take into account the multiple perspectives you've paid homage to," The therapist says, summing up this behavior.

To counter it, "hold onto your truth and resist generalizing statements by realizing that they are in fact forms of black and white illogical thinking."

The psychopath and Dems want to take it all away with tax hikes.  But Pres. Trump keeps delivering in spite of not one media good report.

The psychopath patient doesn't like the military since it acts as an arm of the U.S. government in other countries where the immediate benefit to the U.S. is not always evident.  They believe the military needs to stay at home and let the other countries deal with their own problems.

"The abusive narcissist and sociopath employ a logical fallacy known as 'moving the goalposts' in order to ensure that they have every reason to be perpetually dissatisfied with you. This is when, even after you've provided all the evidence in the world to validate your argument or taken an action to meet their request, they set up another expectation of you or demand more proof," says the therapist.

Don't play that game. "Validate and approve of yourself. Know that you are enough and you don't have to be made to feel constantly deficient or unworthy in some way," The therapist advises.

The DEMS want all nations to stand down - to let the UN run the world - this can never happen, right?

Healing Horses

The psychopath patient sees the armed forces as destroying the environment with pollution, chemicals and products of the nuclear age.

Switching conversational topics sounds innocent enough, but in the hands of a master manipulator, a change of subject becomes a means to avoid accountability. "The narcissist doesn't want you to be on the topic of holding them accountable for anything, so they will reroute discussions to benefit them," the therapist notes.

This sort of thing can go on forever if you let it, making it impossible to actually engage on the relevant issue. Try "the "broken record method" to fight back: "Continue stating the facts without giving in to their distractions. Redirect their redirection by saying, 'That's not what I am talking about. Let's stay focused on the real issue.' If they're not interested, disengage and spend your energy on something more constructive."

The psychopath patient sees the armed forces as those types that have joined the military, but have become disenchanted for some reason or another.  They may not have gotten the position or training they wanted, didn't like the structured environment or got into trouble.  These are the men and women who lived it for awhile, but couldn't adapt, so they become fanatically anti military.

There are other ways a psychopath can manipulate:

Smear - "When toxic types can't control the way you see yourself, they start to control how others see you; they play the martyr while you're labeled the toxic one. A smear campaign is a preemptive strike to sabotage your reputation and slander your name," the therapist explains.

Sometimes true evil geniuses will even divide and conquer, pitting two people or groups against each other. Don't let them succeed. "Document any form of harassment," the therapist advises, and make sure not to rise to the bait and let the person's horribleness provoke you into behaving in just the sort of negative ways they've falsely attributed to you.

Devalue - Beware when a colleague seems to love you while aggressively denigrating the last person who held your position. "Narcissistic abusers do this all the time--they devalue their exes to their new partners, and eventually the new partner starts to receive the same sort of mistreatment as the narcissist's ex-partner," the therapist says. But this dynamic can happen in the professional realm as well as the personal one.

Simple awareness of the phenomenon is the first step to countering it. "Be wary of the fact that how a person treats or speaks about someone else could potentially translate into the way they will treat you in the future," the therapist cautions.

mean jokes- The problem isn't your sense of humor, it's the hidden intention of that cutting joke. "The covert narcissist enjoys making malicious remarks at your expense. These are usually dressed up as 'just jokes' so that they can get away with saying appalling things while still maintaining an innocent, cool demeanor. Yet any time you are outraged at an insensitive, harsh remark, you are accused of having no sense of humor," the therapist says.

Don't let the office abuser gaslight you into thinking it was all innocent fun--it wasn't.

Triangulation - One of the smartest ways truly toxic people distract you from their nastiness is by focusing your attention on the supposed threat of another person. This is called triangulation. "The narcissist loves to 'report back' falsehoods about what others say about you," the therapist warns. To resist the tactic, realize that the third party in the drama is being manipulated as well--he or she is another victim, not your enemy.

You can also try "reverse triangulation," or "gaining support from a third party that is not under the narcissist's influence."

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[crazyblondelife]

Preventing Dementia

Memory Loss due to dementia or Alzheimer's Disease is a heartbreaking thing to watch.  My mother lives in a memory care center and my father just passed away from Alzheimer's Disease.  I watched them slowly decline, feeling helpless and unable to do anything to change it.  Watching our parents age (sometimes not so gracefully), and wondering what we can to do help them, while at the same time, wondering how we can prevent the health issues they are having from happening to us is but one of the major challenges of midlife.

I've always believed that diet and lifestyle are important to our health and that stress levels contribute in a big way to our long term ability to stay healthy.  Because I have chosen, for the most part, to use more holistic medical practices in my life, I decided to research memory loss from this perspective.  I found several good articles by well known holistic doctors, medical medium Anthony William, as well as the Mayo Clinic and others.  I've summarized my findings in this post.

Memory loss doesn't happen suddenly. 

Memory loss begins before we even realize it and research shows that it can be reversed with diet, supplements, exercise and stress reduction.

  Many of my blog posts are about the importance of self care and self love.  Living a healthy lifestyle is not only a gift to yourself, it's a gift to those who love you.  Quality of life is paramount to aging gracefully!  What does a healthy lifestyle involve...

Take These Steps to Prevent and Improve Memory Loss

New research shows that there is a connection between blood sugar levels and memory loss.  Eating a diet of whole foods and cutting out the bad foods can help.

Improve your diet by cutting out refined carbs, processed foods, vegetable and seed oils.

Eat healthy fats and quality protein such as avocados (try this easy recipe and check out my Pinterest avocado board), walnuts, almonds and cashews, grass-fed meats, pastured chicken and eggs, olive oil, wild fatty fish (try this salmon recipe), whole eggs and coconut oil.  Healthy omega 3 fats are good for your brain. 

Reduce alcohol consumption

Alcohol consumption can increase the risk of dementia.  Most people associate the term dementia with Alzheimer's, but that is only one form of dementia.  Dementia can be linked to alcohol use because using alcohol can kill brain cells at a faster rate than age alone.  People who consume one bottle of wine in one sitting, in midlife, are three times more likely to have dementia by the time they turn 65 according to The American Addiction Centers.  That is frightening!

Exercise Daily

If you are not active, begin by taking a 30 minute walk.  If you are already active and fit, Incorporate weight training and high intensity interval training.  Try Zumba, power yoga, or other aerobic activities.  Physical activity has been shown to prevent and slow down cognitive decline.  For a short core workout when you're pinched for time, try this workout.

Take Supplements

Because of depleted soil quality, even on organic farms, our food supply isn't as healthy as it once was.  In addition, because produce often travels long distances, nutrients are further depleted.  It is more important now than ever before to take quality supplements.

Take a high quality multi-vitamin and mineral supplement at the very least.  Other supplements that are highly recommended are an omega 3 fat supplement, extra B6, B12 (Kombucha is very high in B vitamins and folate), folate and vitamin D3 (read this article about vitamin D3).  A good quality probiotic is also important.

Have hormone levels checked and treat them if they are out of balance.

The most common cause of female hormone imbalance is perimenopause, which is the transitional phase leading to menopause.  During this phase, the production of estrogens and progesterone begins to decline.  Lifestyle factors, including stress, obesity, poor diet, lack of sleep and exercise can also cause hormone imbalance.  Hormone imbalances can increase a woman's risk of heart disease, osteoporosis, and memory loss.  A healthy diet is also important to hormone levels because over time, we are exposed to dietary toxins, which contribute to the decline of hormones as we age.

Thyroid imbalance from hypothyroidism and hyperthyroidism can also cause cognitive problems and a decrease in memory.

Detox From Mercury or Other Heavy Metals

In our modern world, we are exposed to many toxins from things like air pollution, plastics, and industrial cleaning agents as well as thousands of new chemicals that are introduced into our environment every year.  They are our water, air and therefore in our homes and workplaces.  Heavy metal toxicity is quite common but not commonly diagnosed.  Most of us have are carrying around heavy metals that have been with us for most of our lives and are deep in our tissues.  Heavy metals can inflame and irritate our central nervous system...especially our brains, causing memory loss, brain fog, fatigue and depression.

Accumulation of heavy metals is inevitable but is relatively easy to get rid of by adding certain foods to your diet including -

Spirulina

Barley Grass Juice Extract Powder (drink 1 - 2 teaspoons mixed into coconut water or juice)

Cilantro (add to a smoothie, salad or guacamole)

 Wild Maine Blueberries - wild blueberries from Maine are the most powerful food for halting dementia.  If you can't get fresh ones, buy frozen and read this blog post for more.

Atlantic Dulse - this edible seaweed binds to metal toxins and doesn't release it until it leaves the body.  Eat two tablespoons of flakes daily.

These 5 foods are a powerful team of foods for removing heavy metals from your body.  Consume these foods within 24 hours of each other for optimal effect if possible.

Also consume lemon water with raw honey and freshly grated ginger (try this detox tea) and aloe vera juice.

Control Stress Levels

Chronic stress takes a toll on your body and brain.  Learning to relax is vital to preventing and reversing dementia.  Find something that helps you calm down such as deep breathing, meditation or yoga.

Get 8 Hours of Sleep Every Night

Sleep depravation is getting worse and worse because of our addiction to devices and studies by the National Institute of Health show that poor sleep becomes a risk factor for Alzheimer's disease.  Aim to get 8 hours of sleep every night.  Here are a few tips for getting a good nights sleep from Dr. Mark Hyman.  Arianna Huffington has also written a great book about the importance of sleep called The Sleep Revolution, Transforming Your Life, One Night at a Time.

Go to bed and wake up at the same time each day.

Use your bed for sleep, not reading or television.

Aesthetic environments encourage sleep – use serene and restful colors and eliminate clutter

Create total darkness and quiet – consider using eyeshades and earplugs

Avoid caffeine before bed – it may seem to help you stay awake but actually makes your sleep worse

Avoid alcohol for at least 2 hours before bed – it helps you get to sleep but causes interruptions in sleep and poor-quality sleep

Get regular exposure to daylight for at least 20 minutes daily – the light from the sun enters your eyes and triggers your brain to release specific chemicals and hormones like melatonin that are vital to healthy sleep, mood, and aging

Eat no later than three hours before bed – eating a heavy meal prior to bed will lead to a bad night’s sleep

Don’t exercise vigorously after dinner – it excites the body and makes it more difficult to get to sleep

Write your worries down – one hour before bed, write down the things that are causing you anxiety and make plans for what you might have to do the next day to reduce your worry. This will free up your mind and energy to move into deep and restful sleep

Take a hot salt/soda aromatherapy bath – raising your body temperature before bed helps to induce sleep. A hot bath also relaxes your muscles and reduces tension physically and psychically. Add one-and-a-half to one cup of Epsom salt (magnesium sulfate) and one-and-a-half to one cup of baking soda (sodium bicarbonate) to your bath, you will gain the benefits of magnesium absorbed through your skin and the alkaline-balancing effects of the baking soda, both of which help with sleep.

Get a massage or stretch before bed - this helps relax the body making it easier to fall asleep

Warm your middle to raise your core temperature by using a hot water bottle, heating pad, or warm body.

Avoid medications that interfere with sleep - including sedatives (these are used to treat insomnia, but ultimately lead to dependence and disruption of normal sleep rhythms), antihistamines, stimulants, cold medication, steroids, and headache medication that contains caffeine.

Use herbal therapies - try passionflower, or valerian root extract

Take 200 to 400 mg of magnesium citrate or glycinate before bed to relax the nervous system and muscles.

Try melatonin to help stabilize sleep rhythms.

Use relaxation techniques, meditation or guided imagery and essential oils to help you get to sleep.

A recent article by the National Institutes of Health concludes that common pharmaceutical Alzheimer's drugs are expensive with limited effectiveness for most patients and are not cost effective enough to justify the expense.  Given this...alternative and holistic prevention and treatment for dementia are certainly options that are worth trying.  There really is no downside.

Thanks so much for reading today.  This is a subject that is very near and dear to my heart and I hope you found it informative.

[thevoidgod]

The Void

What is the Void? It is easier to just circumvent that question entirely, disregard what you know, and say the truth: we will never know. 

We mustn't speak so lightly of such a dreadful place.

I'm sure you hear that too much. Any observer of the void soon  disregards our first principle once they become to intimately familiar  with it and so you won't hear it from me. I will admit my familiarity  extends beyond anything you may have encountered with others in our  field. That will be true for you as well. Our kind of veherrihs are  immune to the void thus we make the best investigators (and causes for  jealousy in those who are not us or perhaps I just have that effect on  people). And to satiate your curiosity, yes, that is why I chose you as  my understudy; disregarding your shortcomings elsewhere. I like to be  challenged and if you walk away from me knowing nothing new at all, then I  have met my match, Vinsähn Of-No-House. If you walk away from me  knowing less than what you came with, well I will have truly outdone  myself.

I digress, just remember you do not have to be as serious as the material you study.

To begin, your first lesson is everything must be prefaced with the  sentence: Not everything is as it seems. The mantra of the Void-God  holds true to everything, even what lies outside the void. I hold no  reservation in using my god-given talents and neither should you. I have  walked many worlds of the void. They are nothing like what the common,  fearful rabble believe. I have seen worlds like our own, devoid of life,  but just as you see it now. I have had long and deep conversations with  the beings of this existence of nearly every topic imaginable. I know  many by their name and these beings have come to my aid just as I would  for them when they call upon me. Of course just as you have experience  with people, not all are friendly. I have my enemies here and naturally  you will accrue some as well.

A fragment of a letter, author unknown.

The void is the realm of the strange and often malevolent creatures know as voids, voidlings, sädthäsan... However, it's laws and layout are completely unknown to those outside this place. Any unbiased account of this place is nonexistent. The andeamer gain all their knowledge of it from the Dirrag  and the High Priestesses of Mazarath who have actually ventured into it. As for the nature of things borne from the Void, the andeamer have the most first-hand experience with them. Their world is entrenched in the divine and so it is familiar to them in all aspects. Humans are quicker to equate it to hell, the underworld, lake of fire, etc... But this is not where on goes in the afterlife. You can go here while alive, even get trapped or come out and warn everyone of what you encountered, that is what the High Priestesses of Mazarath do. The lurokhë deny it exists, more specifically they deny it is separate from this universe we inhabit. They acknowledge strange phenomena such as the voidlings, they don't deny the existence of the fikheri, after-all it was those creatures that devoured their world. They trust their science and observations so to them, it is just another part of existence.

None of these perspectives are wrong, maybe even all are correct. The High Priestesses of Mazarath have encountered those lost and trapped in the Void. Those who surely have died in their stay. As for the lurokhë's conclusion of the Void and its influence, it is indeed a phenomena of nature as we have witnessed in the long history of Ënokh, the destruction of the lurokhë's homeworld, and more recently how the fikheri came to be.

The geography and layout of the Void appears to be fluid and ever changing. Instead of using a map or memorizing surroundings, it is  easier to know the tells of who's territory one finds themselves in. Those known are the greater voids, but they are not the only dominant beings that inhabit this place, just the ones we know of. Of course there is Akhemaaz, the progenitor of the greater voids and some speculate the Void itself, but nowhere in any lore is this theory founded. The inhabitants of the Void aren't known for their honesty and humility.

Each of these grand abominations have their own unique personalities. The realm of Vegar Arniel is described as being anything and everything one might covet. While Surgat Zagam's plane is toxic, a place of filth, disease, and rot. Yet, we have some peculiar things recorded by High Priestesses of Mazarath and the Void-inclined veherrihs.  Environments vary widely. Some have been described as being no different to what is observed on Earth or Ënokh, or any "normal" planet, while others are jarringly  alien, it is still familiar and predictable to our universe.

Simple minds like Johannes Winnepeg and those who think their answers lie in merely observing the Void from outside, don't have the full scope of what the Void is. They only focus on what they know and exhausting all possibilities there, but such is a small glimmer in the expanse. His observations are inherently flawed for those reasons. He has never been to the Void like many of his ilk. They have ascribed them ranks and meaning to those ranks. The voidlings are a loose conglomerate. A majority of them little more than insects are to us. Their nature is not purpose, just nature. Hismael Hamariel was not created to spurn jealousy or envy, to destroy the love between us, those things already existed. It is just in Hismael Hamariel's nature to seek out their sphere, the same as a virus seeks to replicate inside you.

There is more than the greater voids, than Akhemaaz, and their worlds. There are hidden treasures out there, not something you can hold in your hands, nor are they things that stay where you found them, but their powers. Perhaps those lost wandering the endless Void sought out these things and their powers. You need only to desire them to find them.

[mc-critical]

I remember not too long ago, I had read an analysis on Kösem and Ahmed’s relationship, namely its development and whether or not it was truly healthy. I remember the sudden development of Kösem’s feelings for Ahmed were ascribed to stockholm syndrome, which as you dissect it further, even later in the series after Ahmed has passed away, makes total sense. However it made me wonder, why stop at Kösem/Ahmed? Truthfully, I think stockholm syndrome, trauma response and survival instinct were the primary factors in all of the sultanas “love” or attachment to the sultans. Hürrem, Mahidevran, Aysë, Halime, Handan..all of them. Hürrem had initially thought her fiance was murdered when she came to the palace, and within what looked like a couple of months if even, she was shown to be totally head over heels for Suleyman. No one can simply discard their former love interest so quickly unless trauma was a catalyst..and even when Leo came back to the palace that whole time period where he was in such a close proximity to her visibly caused Hürrem so much pain mentally and emotionally. Or with Handan and Kösem going on to fall in love after their sultans had died..it makes me think of when Handan was confessing her love to Dervish and called being a member of the royal family “her prison.” None of these women were truly in love with their sultans, nor do I blame them for it. Love is what develops when there’s no consequences, no strings attached, which is entirely untrue in the harem’s enviornment. Even with Mahidevran’s arc way back when Hürrem was first introduced and she started to feel like she was losing Suleyman. It looked to me Mahidevran ultimately feared lonliness rather than losing Suleyman himself. Harem rules wouldn’t permit her to fall in love with someone else if Suleyman lost interest in her. He was pretty much her only confidant and the only person she had been intimate with and likely from a very young age, unhealthy attachment is bound to develop due to those curcumstances. We all feel so sorry for royal borne sultanas when they’re forced to marry men they don’t love..but this courtesy is seldom extended to their mothers. It’s all very sad when I think about it. How do you feel about this perspective?

(~Fun fact: I got yours and the last ask in the same day and they are both somehow related to Kösem and Ahmet!!~)

Anyway, I have also read that analysis and it's really nuanced and awesome, Joanna always does such an amazing job with her blog and these posts! <3 It gives an amazing perspective to the nature of Kösem and Ahmet and makes us think hard on whether there are more relationship cases in the franchise where Stockholm Syndrome can be applied and how many women there are in the harem that aren't so in love with their sultans.

I also fully believe that, just like motherhood, love in the harem can't not be toxic in a way, because the environment itself won't ever let healthy dynamics happen, thanks to its very roots. And while mothers of children still have the small chance to forge some kind of a relationship with genuine affection despite of the toxicity, we have a totally different situation with the sultans who are basically on the top of the system that brought them in this mess in the first place. It's not easy to let go of the people you loved and it's even harder to get to truly love a person you not only don't know at all, but one you know you're supposed to at least try to win over by sheer force.

Survival instinct plays a lot into this, because sooner or later you see that you don't have a choice. You do what you have to do or else you'll either rot in this palace with everyone always bossing you around or be done for. Something I see some viewers forget is the way Hürrem was ultimately "convinced" to try her luck out with Süleiman. She wanted to get out of this place and let it burn in hell until Nigar told her what it took to win the game. Keep in mind that she hadn't met Süleiman yet back then and that faint was merely an act she pulled to gain his attention and she gained some kind of an affection for him only after some time had passed. This sheer pragmatism could've turned into something more eventually, but the beggining was precisely this survival instinct that was kept intact throughout the entire relationship and the birth and living of Hürrem's children. I think she had let go of Leo by the time when she met him again, but that letting go pained her so much, as seen by all her breakdowns when she saw him and lost him completely. It's something she knew she had to do; notice how she kept telling him to leave for "his own good" and for "the good of both of them". There is this looming, prevailing fear that if they had escaped, the consequences would be severe and Hürrem had already planted roots in the dynasty: as if she gained attachment after attachment she felt the need to protect. She's now responsible for these children and can't leave them behind for her own possible desires to get out of the system. Ibrahim did threaten the children in front of Leo and Hürrem in the S01 finale and that's a big reason why she decided it would be for the best to lose him in this particular situation, no matter how much it hurt afterwards. Hürrem already had a set goal to fulfill in the dynasty and letting go of Leo became the only plausible option for her thematically and narratively. Everything these women do in the harem they do is to survive, adapting to their circumstances and forging some kind of relationships with their sultans is the peak of it. A healthy dynastic is far from one where you have to be opportunistic at every turn. Even the favored women have to be as careful as ever, because a mistake can cost everything. They have to make sure they always have his approval and be in his good graces, behaving like he wants them to behave, not the way they actually are. The goal they have set for themselves in the harem is tightly linked with their love for the sultan. He isn't only love, he's also power, prestige and reassuring. The Sultanate of Women are probably even the most affected by this, because they are the ones who want to break the boundaries of power and by doing that they have to put the leg work to make him happy and pleased. These relationships need so much work and decisiveness for their flourishment, with the women having to be mindful of the sultan's moods and unpredictable nature. (especially when you have an unpredictable, very short tempered sultan like Murat!)

But attachment is still attachment and that's where Stockholm syndrome comes from. They do their best to win him over, but with doing that for such a long time, they learn to feel something for him. There is so much toxicity in the dynamic, but they get used to it and normalize it in their heads. The concept of the harem itself succeeds to make their life revolve around it and it's not something they question anymore. I absolutely agree that it's not limited to only Kösem and Ahmet - everyone is somehow subjected to it, no exceptions. The relationships each woman of the franchise has with the sultan certainly differ from one another, depending on the different personalities and goals, but its unhealthy core remains the same: it's still a toxic, dependant relationship with a massive power imbalance and will always remain so in these castle walls and rules. The big attachment makes it even scarier for one to discover that they might be losing everything, that's why there is such a resistence from Mahidevran, Hürrem, Kösem, Ayşe, Farya etc. when the sultan accepts or outrightly begins to favor other women and I always roll my eyes when these women get accused of "behaving like that while knowing the rules of the harem" without it being understood from a narrative standpoint - even though they know the rules, it still hurts, because the attachment is ultimately more self-centered than anything: they want the sultan to be all theirs, to have him all for themselves, perhaps for a validation of their efforts to forge and preserve their relationships. When they lose favor, everything seems to be crumbling and falling apart and that is so difficult to accept, you can't face helplessness like that, you can't face vulnerability like that and I guess for that it took Mahidevran so long to get over Süleiman. As you said, she got destructively attached to the person that seemigly gave her so much for years. (she herself even said that she's like a little kid in front of him in the second episode) And her suddenly not being regarded in the same way by someone she thought was her family (I still adore that thematic note of her character and perhaps it's the reason why we didn't get any backstory from her.) was catastrophic to her emotional stability and it took her 46 (55, if we begin from her direct confession) episodes to accept that she has lost and even then she was still trying to achieve vengeance at the very least, by thinking of her rule of the harem as a battle she fought with Hürrem, a last helpless try to prevail over her. (E63: "I congratulate you, Hürrem, you won.") That's also why Hürrem almost killed herself when Firuze seemed to have taken away her Thursdays, without having any regard for the children. It's like a chain, of sorts, that women are stuck in, fighting to the end to be the ones next to him, to the point of wanting to end their own lives if they lose. If they lose, that's the end. If they lose the favoritism or the sultan himself dies, leaving them to rest in the hands of the enemy, that's the end.

That's why Mahidevran and Ayşe getting over Süleiman and Murat respectively and realizing that it was more or less an unhealthy dynamic is so important, because these character arcs help spread awareness of the toxicity of this grown attachment to the sultan and the struggle it takes for them to take account of said toxicity, because of their attachments. Ayşe had a rough path accepting that Murat was the way he is, trying almost until the end to make things right with him, both missing in the process and slowly uncovering his unpredictability. While this realization rendered her to do the inevitable in killing herself along with the kids, her letter to Murat indeed felt so eye opening in this regard, putting this whole deal into perspective. Mahidevran, conversely, also found out his true nature and detached herself from it, daring to openly call out a root of the attachment (E139: "He decides the fates of all of us.") and put the free choice of everyone into light and question. (E139: "God, apart from reason, gave people free will.") It's rare for someone to gain such awareness of the system and that's a valuable quality to have, but in a future where Mahidevran and Ayşe aren't as grossly mistreated, would all this be possible to happen? No, I don't think so. And even from the ones that aren't favourites who are more likely to find this out, there are still people out there that probably would stay trapped in the attachment forever. And favourites would be the least likely to figure stuff out, judging by the series' themes. (Hürrem, E134: "I am the soul of all the women in the world and my existence is hidden in the love of the conqueror of my heart." - this assertion is honestly self-explanatory.)

[Handan's arc also extends on the traumatic response one gives the system and I think this aspect applies to her the most. She's a person with no real attachments that is so traumatized by fighting, she didn't even expect the possibility to win over players like Halime and Safiye. She's trying to adapt to her new role as Valide, give "cruel" advice to Ahmet in order to ensure it and make impulsive decisions, dictated by the fear it would all come back to square 1 again, but when she met Derviş, it turned out that nothing about the system made her fit. Hence, she "adapts out" from it by finding true love and killing herself for that love, leaving everything behind.]

So no matter how much these women come to idealize it, no matter how much they begin to think it is actually love or a "fairytale", there still are so many signs that it's not quite like that and that prevent it from being that. That truly includes everyone in the harem, it can't be denied.

[risuave]

Blog #8: Voices in my Head Again

Today’s shout out goes to Jay Shetty & Dr. Daniel Amen for their discussion on the brain and for this particular exercise.

Special shout out to Kristina on her special day. Get those gifts like you’re looting a boss in a DnD campaign!!

So over the past few weeks, I’ve been talking about a great many different aspects. And sure, from a “high minded” perspective, things sound so easy. Of course, I should live in truth! Self-love? Hell yeah, sign me up! Accepting my own toxicity and slowing down my ego? Yes PLEASE!

Of course, it’s all great on paper. But as every person who is breathing knows: such ideals, such things are so much easier said than done. There’s just one problem: our brains and our minds. The voices are actually real: we may not actually physically hear them as some do, but that nagging self-doubt is real. That voice making excuses is real. That ultra-critical asshole telling you all the things you did wrong is real. And guess what? It’s not just you: even when you feel like it is, that’s just not true. Everyone has them. Everyone gets to deal with them.

The thing is that as humans, we’ve sort of had it engrained from us from the very beginning that we’re supposed to shut that stuff down. We’re supposed to “control” our humanity. Men are told to “be cool” because “men are always stoic and not the ones that can let shit bother them.” Women are told to “act like a lady.” 

So we clamp down, we control, we keep that shit locked down. And the result is that things just always feel HARDER. We become hunters, always looking for something to go wrong so that we can stop it from going wrong. Fun thing about that is that when you’re always looking for a problem, everything becomes a problem, and then you’re ACTUALLY going to have a problem. 

 One of the things this leads to the most is what I call the “self-sabotage of the easy.” Hear a thousand songs about the hustle, hear about a million successful people who went through hard times and it becomes ingrained in your brain that easy is wrong. Easy is bad. For some, if their job is easy the voices say that CLEARLY, something is just wrong: they feel they need to walk because it’s not ‘fulfilling’ or they’re clearly messing up somehow. If a relationship just feels easy; if communication is easy and the worst of fights are tampered by healthy boundaries and communication, then that voice tells you that something is just fucking WRONG and the other shoe is sure to drop. People are inherently TERRIFIED of easy. But you know what makes things easy? Being GOOD at them. Learning good communication. Learning self-love and self-control. When people walk away from healthy relationships or good work, it’s usually because, without evidence, they fear a problem. The world in your mind I talked about last week starts to imprint on the physical world, and before you know it you’ve ruined something really great. Take it from a guy with a lot of experience: self-sabotage is a bitch.

Embracing the contradictions and the chaos of humanity helps address all of that. Things are easy BECAUSE things were hard, you put in the work to learn and to grow, and you made it easier: not because it changed, but because you did (no matter WHAT that self-critical voice is telling you.) Trying to fight that, to control it, is foolish and harmful. True control doesn’t come from trying to squeeze something tight and control the outcome: those are a fool's ideas of control. You show me a good and healthy relationship, whether it’s with the self or with another, that’s full of restrictions on what you can and can’t do, who you can’t and can’t be around (unless they’re dangerous, obviously) and I’ll call you a liar. True control of self comes from knowing that things are good, are natural, without you needed to exert any force. Even when things are “bad,” actively focusing on it and trying to “control” it makes it worse: ESPECIALLY when the ego we talked about last week kicks in and we try to control someone else’s self. When you let that shit go, when you don’t focus on it with all your might and try and work it like a problem, you gain control over those voices. 

Contradictory, I know.

Through control, we can better our relationships. We can better rise above our demons without needing to resort to using things to try and “tamp them down” or to “not feel:” they don’t get smaller and you can’t stop yourself from feeling. In finding an environment where we can embrace these things, in creating a space for ourselves where we can do this work, we benefit not only our higher selves but those around us. Trust me, you’ll tell the difference between someone who’s actually mature and in control and someone trying to exert control from a place of fear and insecurity. Generally speaking, that second group is going to cause you a great deal of unintentional harm: not because they’re cruel and they want to, but because they cannot help themselves. Love them, understand them, but love yourself more and take the space so that you don’t become that same level of toxic.

But again, all of this is great on paper but these are just words. Great as something to consider, not practical in application. Because even knowing all of that doesn’t actually silence the voices. It doesn’t make you beat yourself up any less. So let’s take this to the practical world and actually DO something!

Fortunately, there are practices to help you get there. One exercise I discovered in quarantine that I’ve particularly enjoyed comes from Dr. Daniel Amen: a renowned psychiatrist and brain disorder specialist. The next time you find yourself wrestling with a negative thought, a self-critical doubt, a depressing sadness, pause. Take a breath and write down what you’re thinking. Yes, I know, I’m asking you to use a pen and paper, but just go with me on this one. Write the thought down. Let’s go with one of my classics.

“That person looked at me funny when I said something; they must be judging me.” Or, to make it simpler: “This person is judging me.”

Ok, so now you have the thought out of your head. Now we can work on it. Look at that statement and ask yourself: is it true? Yes, I know you originally THOUGHT it was true but now that it’s out on the paper ask yourself the question again.

Is it true? Answer: Well…you’re not them, so you don’t know. Could be. Could not be.

Next question: Is it absolutely true? Is it 100%? Since we just established that you don’t know, the answer is no.

Now look at that thought again; a thought that is not absolutely true. How do you feel when you have that thought? How does it feel when that voice is telling you you’re being judged? Answer: awful. Sad. Alone. Like an outsider.

Who would you be if you didn’t have that thought? Free.

Now take that thought and turn it to its opposite: once you’ve done that work, you’ll realize the opposite is usually true. That look was literally just a look. So why are you torturing yourself over…well…nothing? 

Try to make this a habit. Learn to question your thoughts. Learn to embrace the contradictions of humanity. Start to ask yourself these questions and let the voices just chatter away: things can be easy and life doesn’t need everything to be controlled.

Because guess what? Those voices miss one thing: you, just being you, is already perfect. 

— V

[zhannabelle-eng]

How to live in a new reality? Zhannabelle explains

If you think that now is not the best of times, you are wrong

Familiar holidays and events, financial stability, dreams and expectations - all these have changed quickly.  We do not like these changes and it is quite natural. But if we stop thinking about how we could have lived if it were not for COVID-19, we can take a clear look at reality and see new opportunities in it.  If you look at the situation from another perspective, you will perceive today's difficulties as great luck and an opportunity to grow. Zhannabelle will help you find inspiration and support in the changed environment.  Her most important message carries the main idea - there is no place for old attitudes in your new life. Take a fresh look at yourself, your environment, your beliefs and your value system!

Festive events that we failed to celebrate

We are used to celebrating important dates according to the official state calendar.  If you do so, it is not surprising that all your life is devoted to a constant search for luck.  Zhannabelle is sure that this is what prevents you from receiving help from the Higher Powers.

By celebrating your birthday, New Year's Eve or another holiday according to the calendar, you mark important dates in your life at the wrong time and in the wrong place.  That’s why you lose the ability control your life and change it the way you want.

Every holiday is not just an occasion to have fun but a special ritual connected with important points in the astrological calendar. It is a Day of Power which determines your abilities and luck for many months to come.  If you look at the main holidays, you will notice that they are the same in different cultures and religions.

Ancient people knew better than us that on such days the special station and position of the planets provide for the powerful energy of the universe which can be used for your success and prosperity.  Such dates are not found in calendars, rather, they are calculated individually.

Each year the planets slightly change their cycle and direction.  They do not obey human laws. That’s why all calendars are only approximate.  Even your birthday shouldn’t be celebrated on the date written in your passport.  If you know that exact date every year (there will be a small but important shift), you can get the maximum power from the Sun and other guardian planets.

On such days they are exactly in the same position as they were at your birth (this is called the Solar).

Zhannabelle would like to remind you that everyone can use this day to change their lives.  The master knows exactly what needs to be done to get rid of illnesses and problems in a wide range of areas.  You can get rid of your love addiction and toxic relationships, find a well-deserved partner or a job, gain wisdom and influence in society, achieve success in your business and get a stable income.

There are important dates and rituals for each area which will certainly help you if you know how to work with them.  Stop dreaming! Learn from Zhannabelle and make your dreams come true.

The needed money we have not managed to earn 

If you see money only as a means to acquire material goods as a status symbol, you are on the wrong path.  All these goods are killing the planet.

Take a closer look at the ads - billboards are seducing you to buy junk food and iconic gadgets 90% of whose functions nobody ever uses. However, the planet's resources are wasted on them.  You throw away your gadget before the end of its life cycle, clothes or other things thus polluting the environment.

Beautiful forests and clean basins are turned into stinking dumps and your children suffer from allergies and asthma from birth.

Zhannabelle knows that material well-being and money is also a form of living matter.  It's in your power to direct it to creation or destruction.  If you use the energy of money wisely, wealth and material stability will not leave you no matter of the changes of the world economy.

Start analyzing your expenses.  The following questions will help you - What do I use my life energy for?  Who gets it?  What do I get in return?  What are the consequences of my new purchase for the planet?  How will the money I spent help me achieve success and develop my abilities?  What new qualities can I discover in myself and how will it help me to improve?  Will my life become fuller and richer with this purchase?  Only then should you make a decision.

Zhannabelle recommends that in any way you should invest at least 25% of your income in your further development.

You should not only improve your mind and body but also your spirituality.  Then you’ll be able to live a full life free from need and suffering.  The best way to invest in yourself is through Zhannabelle’s seminars and group classes.  Each of these event boosts your personal well-being and attracts luck and success.

The hopes that inspire you every day

Do you still have a certain idea and purpose that makes you get up in the morning and remove mountains?  Perfect!  However, it would be wrong to think that this idea is your brainchild.  In fact, it’s not us who generates ideas. They're the ones that are our rulers and they choose the place that's best for them. The sooner humanity understands the supremacy of global ideas, the more chances each of us will have to survive.

An idea is a real living being with amazing energy.  It is much stronger than each of us individually and even stronger than the most powerful and brilliant person.

An idea is a subtle creature that wants to fulfill itself in the material world we are used to.  It chooses certain personalities and acts through them.

Zhannabelle reminds us that ideas (like people) can also be different.  There are high ideas.  They are above the usual material goods and the struggle for resources. A person with such an idea rises above the crowd.  The doors magically begin to open for them and they meet the right people meet in their life.  They realize all their potential and meet like-minded people, students and powerful patrons.

There are also low ideas.  As the essence of the Lower World, they do not create anything but only parasitize taking away energy from a person.  These are condemnations, dogmas, outdated stereotypes and judgments that contribute to human estrangement.

Thus, a person with low energy cannot build his team. That’s why he starts condemning successful people.  He gets engaged in trolling in the Internet, slanders others and becomes a religious bigot, etc.  Low ideas have always existed.  Their proponents were condemning Buddha, Jesus Christ and Osho.

The idea of condemning and parasitizing on the success of others devours and destroys the person.  He sees and hears no one around and carries nothing but denial and destruction.

Thus, the idea itself chooses a particular person.  That depends on the type of energy the person emits, what his thoughts and actions bring into the world on a subtle level.  Zhannabelle’s knowledge helps thousands of people on Earth who are ready to change their lives.  Each of us can consciously change our aura to attract the ideas of the highest level.  This is how you can join the ranks of successful and financially independent people, realize your predestination and make any dream come true.

Zhannabelle and her students have been bringing the ideas of development and success to the world for more than a quarter of a century thanks to harmonious cooperation with the energy of Cosmos. Their examples show how to live in a new environment without illnesses and premature aging, without conflicts and in love and harmony with nature, other people and themselves.

Do you want to join the happy and the successful people?  Then join our workshops.  It will be perfect if you can visit the Places of Power with Zhannabelle.  She conducts her energy-rich rituals and programs against all odds.

She does it because the planet itself and the forces of nature help her as they need more people with high ideas who are kind, creative and happy.

Share this article with those who need positive changes.  Give yourself and others opportunities and hope for life that you have only dreamed of before.

[abashan72-blog]

The 7 Things To Lose 220 Pounds Without Dieting

Back in 2001 I weighed more than 400 pounds. I tried every diet I could think of to lose weight. I even worked face to face with the late Dr. Atkins for two months, and after charging me thousands of dollars, the best he could do was yell at me for being so fat.

Every diet I tried ended up the same way. There would be a whole list of foods I wasn’t allowed to eat. I’d follow the diet to the letter. I’d lose a little weight through sheer brute force and willpower. Then there would come an inevitable point when I couldn’t take it anymore and I’d have a huge binge. Whatever weight I had lost on the diet would come back in a matter of days, and a week later I’d be 5 pounds heavier than when I started the diet. This pattern of losing 10 pounds and gaining 15 pounds started in 1990, until by September 2001 I reached my peak of 409 pounds.

Then I had turning point. On September 11, I narrowly missed being on UAL flight 93. That experience left me feeling like I was living on borrowed time. Here I was, killing myself working in a high-stress Wall Street job that I hated, and the universe had just given me a second chance.

So I decided to get off of the dieting roller coaster once and for all, and I resolved never to diet again. Instead I was going to try to figure out why my body seemed to be forcing me to gain so much weight. I decided to find out what I could do to get it to want to be thin again. Armed with a solid background in biochemistry from the University of Pennsylvania, I spent 12 hours a day researching everything I could about the hormones, enzymes, neurotransmitters and chemical massagers that cause weight gain.

I learned that losing weight sustainably isn’t about counting calories, but about creating the proper hormonal environment in your body that’s conducive to weight loss. Since stress and emotional issues can cause an unfavorable hormonal environment, the issue needs to be addressed from a mind-body perspective. We need to take a holistic approach that looks at our psychological and emotional life, as much as what and when we eat.

Over a two-and-half-year period I lost 220 pounds, without dieting. I’ve been the same weight now for over 10 years and I still don’t diet. I eat whatever I want, whenever I want.

These were the keys to my transformation:

1. I stopped dieting and started nourishing my body.

I learned through my research that my body was chronically starved for certain key nutrients, such as omega-3 fatty acids, live foods and high-quality proteins. I made sure I gave myself as much really high-quality nutrients as possible. If I wanted junk foods like candy, chips or pizza, I would eat them whenever I wanted, without hesitation. Eventually I lost my taste for all junk food as my body learned to prefer high-quality, nutrient-dense foods.

2. I healed my digestion.

I discovered that one of the reasons why I was so badly starving for nutrients is that my digestive processes were compromised, so I was unable to effectively extract the nutrients from the foods I was eating. Digestion problems can also cause inflammation and the inflammatory hormones put our bodies into fat storage mode. I started eating lots of fermented and cultured foods, and taking probiotics and digestive enzymes in order to normalize my digestion.

3. I got a CPAP machine for my sleep apnea.

Sleep apnea is a condition that affects many overweight people. It creates a hormonal environment in the body that encourages weight gain by causing elevated cortisol levels, which leads to junk food cravings and insulin resistance. Sleep apnea is easily treated with a CPAP machine. The machine blows air into your nose and mouth to keep your windpipe open, so you can sleep through the night without problems.

Most people who have sleep apnea don’t even know that they have it, although the people they live with would know, because people with sleep apnea snore very loudly. It turns out I had one of the worst cases of sleep apnea that my sleep study technicians had ever seen. From the moment I got the CPAP machine I started having more energy and less junk food cravings. And the weight started to melt away for good.

4. I started using mind-body practices to reduce stress.

Just like sleep apnea, stress causes elevated levels of cortisol and inflammatory hormones. These hormones lead to constant cravings and put your body into chronic fat storage mode. Many people don’t realize how important it is to learn how to reduce stress. I began meditating and visualizing every morning, which I found to be extremely effective for reducing stress.

5. I created a much more sustainable life.

I also lowered my expenses, moved to a more affordable house and started growing some of my own foods. My life felt much more sustainable and I felt calmer and more supported. I loved knowing that anytime I was hungry I could go into the back yard and eat something fresh and full of vitality. The stress hormones where no longer coursing through my system, wreaking havoc and turning my body into a fat storage machine.

6. I worked through some important emotional issues.

Some people feel safer with extra weight on their body. It’s as if the body actually uses weight as a buffer from the world. I was in that situation and I knew I had to address the emotional issues that were making my body feel unsafe. I started doing visualization practices that helped to resolve past traumas and to get my body to feel safer in letting go of the weight.

Over the years I’ve found that 65-70% of the clients I work with are using weight as a form of protection. I call this “emotional obesity”. When you work through the issues that are causing emotional obesity and break the association that fat equals safe, the body is much more willing to let go of the weight. After I broke this association and the weight no longer served its purpose – that is, the armor of fat no longer made me feel any safer – the weight all but went away.

7. I detoxified my body.

After I had lost about 180 pounds I started doing a lot of research about toxins and how the body processes and deals with toxic chemicals. It turns out the body uses fat cells to store excess toxins. I realized that the last 40 excess pounds that my body was holding onto was because it was a storehouse for accumulated toxins. I started living what I call a “detoxifying lifestyle”. Basically, I started flushing my body with lots of alkaline liquids, like water with lemon juice or apple cider vinegar, green juices, super greens and lots of salads and sprouts. That did the trick, because I lost the last 40 pounds much more quickly than I lost the first 40 pounds, so the rate of my weight loss continued to accelerate to the very end.

Taking a mind body approach that nourishes the body and reduces the physical, mental and emotional stresses that cause weight gain is the most sensible and sustainable way to lose weight. I’ve now worked with tens of thousands of people in 60 countries teaching this approach and we’re getting amazing results.

People who have spent a lifetime of yo-yo dieting have now lost weight – 50, 100 and 200 pounds, without dieting by following this exact formula.

Visit my website

http://www.9weightloss.com/

[moodboardinthecloud]

I don’t want to be the strong female lead

By Brit Marling

Ms. Marling is a filmmaker.

Feb. 7, 2020

I moved to Los Angeles to become an actress at 24. These are character descriptions of roles I have read for: “thin, attractive, Dave’s wife”; “robot girl, a remarkable feat of engineering”; “her breasts are large and she’s wearing a red sweater.”

I stuffed my bra for that last one. I still did not get the part.

After a while it was hard to tell what was the greater source of my depression: that I could not book a part in a horror film where I had three lines and died on Page 4, or that I was even auditioning to play these roles at all. After dozens of auditions and zero callbacks, my mom suggested I get breast implants. From her perspective, I had walked away from a coveted job at Goldman Sachs and chosen a profession of self-commodification. She wanted to help me sell better.

But I wasn’t drawn to acting because I wanted to be desired. I was drawn to acting because I felt it would allow me to become the whole, embodied person I remembered being in childhood — one that could imagine freely, listen deeply and feel wholeheartedly.

I continued to audition and continued to fail. My depression deepened. My self-esteem plummeted. My boyfriend would get drunk and punch holes in the wall next to my head. I let him. He spat in my face. I let him. He dissolved into tears in my arms. I let him. And then I sifted through the ashes of his anger and his father’s anger before him to help him uncover the forgiveness he needed to move on. I was auditioning to be “Dave’s wife.” I was “robot girl, a remarkable feat of engineering.”

After a day of running from men with chain saws in audition rooms and a night of running from the man I shared a bed with, I decided I was done auditioning. I felt I had to write my way out of these roles or I wouldn’t find my way in the real world, either. I could not be what I could not see onscreen.

So I went to the library in downtown Los Angeles and started reading books and watching films about how to write dramas for the screen. I clung to Jodie Foster in Jonathan Demme’s “Silence of the Lambs,” to Holly Hunter in Jane Campion’s “The Piano.”

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But aside from a handful of exceptions, I was overwhelmed by the number of dramatic narratives that murdered their female characters.

In “The Big Heat” she has a pot of boiling coffee thrown in her face and is then shot in the back. In “Chinatown” the bullet tears through her brain and out her eye. And in case this seems like a trend of the past, consider the more recent noir “Blade Runner 2049,” where the holographic femme fatale is deleted and the remaining women are stabbed, drowned and gutted like a fish.

Even the spirited Antigone, the brave Joan of Arc and the unfettered Thelma and Louise meet tragic ends in large part because they are spirited, brave and unfettered. They can defy kings, refuse beauty and defend themselves against violence. But it’s challenging for a writer to imagine a world in which such free women can exist without brutal consequences.

We live in a world that is a direct reflection of these stories we’ve been telling. Close to four women a day are murdered in America at the hands of their partners or former partners. One out of every four women in America has been the victim of a rape.

I am one of those one out of four. Our narratives tell us that women are objects and objects are disposable, so we are always objectified and often disposed of.

There are centuries of trial and error inside the “hero’s journey,” in which a young man is called to adventure, challenged by trials, faces a climactic battle and emerges victorious, changed and a hero. And while there are narrative patterns for the adventures of girls — “Alice in Wonderland,” “The Wizard of Oz” — those are few and far between, and for adult women, even less so.

Even when I found myself writing stories about women rebelling against the patriarchy, it still felt like what I largely ended up describing was the confines of patriarchy. The more fettered I felt inside the real world, the more I turned toward science fiction, speculative fiction and lo-fi fantasy.

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I eventually co-wrote, produced and starred in two microbudget films, “Another Earth” and “Sound of My Voice.” Both stories left reality just far enough behind to give me the mental freedom to imagine female characters behaving in ways not often seen onscreen.

I emerged from the Sundance Film Festival with offers to act in projects I would never have been allowed to read for a week prior. Most of those roles were still girlfriend, mistress, mother. But there was a new character on offer to me as well, one that survived the story.

Enter, stage right: the Strong Female Lead.

She’s an assassin, a spy, a soldier, a superhero, a C.E.O. She can make a wound compress out of a maxi pad while on the lam. She’s got MacGyver’s resourcefulness but looks better in a tank top.

Acting the part of the Strong Female Lead changed both who I was and what I thought I was capable of. Training to do my own stunt work made me feel formidable and respected on set. Playing scenes where I was the boss firing men tasted like empowerment. And it will always feel better to be holding the gun in the scene than to be pleading for your life at the other end of the barrel.

It would be hard to deny that there is nutrition to be drawn from any narrative that gives women agency and voice in a world where they are most often without both. But the more I acted the Strong Female Lead, the more I became aware of the narrow specificity of the characters’ strengths — physical prowess, linear ambition, focused rationality. Masculine modalities of power.

I thought back to the films I watched and stories I read burrowed deep in the stacks of the library. I began to see something deeper and more insidious behind all those images of dead and dying women.

When we kill women in our stories, we aren’t just annihilating female gendered bodies. We are annihilating the feminine as a force wherever it resides — in women, in men, of the natural world. Because what we really mean when we say we want strong female leads is: “Give me a man but in the body of a woman I still want to see naked.”

It’s difficult for us to imagine femininity itself — empathy, vulnerability, listening — as strong. When I look at the world our stories have helped us envision and then erect, these are the very qualities that have been vanquished in favor of an overwrought masculinity.

I’ve played the Strong Female Lead in real life, too — as an analyst at an investment bank before coming to Hollywood. I wore suits, drank Scotch neat and talked about the women and the men I was sleeping with like commodities on an open market. I buried my feminine intelligence alive in order to survive. I excelled at my linear task of making more money from a lot of money regardless of the long-term consequences for others and the environment.

The lone female V.P. on my floor and my mentor at the time gave me the following advice when she left to partner at a hedge fund: Once a week, open the door to your office when they finally give you one, and place a phone call where you shout a string of expletives in a threatening voice.

She added that there doesn’t actually need to be someone on the other end of the line.

I don’t believe the feminine is sublime and the masculine is horrifying. I believe both are valuable, essential, powerful. But we have maligned one, venerated the other, and fallen into exaggerated performances of both that cause harm to all. How do we restore balance? Or how do we evolve beyond the limitations that binaries like feminine/masculine present in the first place?

In 2014 I went back to the library and encountered Octavia Butler’s “Parable of the Sower,” a sci-fi novel written in 1993 imagining a 2020 where society has largely collapsed from climate change and growing wealth inequality. Butler’s heroine, the 17 year-old Lauren, has “hyperempathy” — she feels, quite literally, other people’s pain. This feminine gift and curse uniquely prepares her to survive the violent attack on her community in Los Angeles and successfully encourage a small tribe north to begin again from seeds she has saved from her family’s garden.

Butler felt to me like a lighthouse blinking from an island of understanding way out at sea. I had no idea how to get there, but I knew she had found something life saving. She had found a form of resistance.

Butler and other writers like Ursula Le Guin, Toni Morrison and Margaret Atwood did not employ speculative fiction to colonize other planets, enslave new life-forms, or extract alien minerals for capital gains only to have them taken at gunpoint by A.I. robots. These women used the tenets of genre to reveal the injustices of the present and imagine our evolution.

With these ideas in mind, Zal Batmanglij and I wrote and created “The OA,” a Netflix series about Prairie, a blind girl who is kidnapped and returns seven years later to the community she grew up in with her sight restored. She opens up to a group of lost teenage boys in her neighborhood, telling them about her captivity and the inter-dimensional travel she discovered to survive it. It turns out these boys need to hear Prairie’s story as much as she needs to tell it. For the boys face their own kind of captivity: growing up inside the increasingly toxic obligations of American manhood.

As time has passed, I’ve come to understand what deep influence shaping a narrative has. Stories inspire our actions. They frame for us existences that are and are not possible, delineate tracks we can or cannot travel. They choose who we can find empathy for and who we cannot. What we have fellow feeling for, we protect. What we objectify and commodify, we eventually destroy.

I don’t want to be the dead girl, or Dave’s wife. But I don’t want to be a strong female lead either, if my power is defined largely by violence and domination, conquest and colonization.

Sometimes I get a feeling of what she could be like. A truly free woman. But when I try to fit her into the hero’s journey she recedes from the picture like a mirage. She says to me: Brit, the hero’s journey is centuries of narrative precedent written by men to mythologize men. Its pattern is inciting incident, rising tension, explosive climax and denouement. What does that remind you of?

And I say, a male orgasm.

And she says: Correct. I love the arc of male pleasure. But how could you bring me into being if I must satisfy the choreography of his desire only?

And I say: Good on you. But then how do I bring you into being?

Then I hear only silence.

But even in the silence I dream of answers. I imagine new structures and mythologies born from the choreography of female bodies, non-gendered bodies, bodies of color, disabled bodies. I imagine excavating my own desires, wants and needs, which I have buried so deeply to meet the desires, wants and needs of men around me that I’m not yet sure how my own desire would power the protagonist of a narrative.

These are not yet solutions. But they are places to dig.

Excavating, teaching and celebrating the feminine through stories is, inside our climate emergency, a matter of human survival. The moment we start imagining a new world and sharing it with one another through story is the moment that new world may actually come.

Brit Marling (@britmarling) is the co-creator and star of “The OA.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/07/opinion/sunday/brit-marling-women-movies.html?fbclid=IwAR3DSJ3Q6shZQwE8jGHxNhuU5skF62SAcfJzXap0j_XPFdZHK4JKYa5n02E

[lifebydesign66]

Somatic Therapy

Go Beyond the Mind by Incorporating Body Awareness into Your Healing Process

Recognizing the Body’s Connection to Emotion is Crucial to Blooming into Your Own Powerful, Resilient, Triumphant Soul

Have you ever looked in the mirror and failed to recognize the person on the other side? Do you ever wish that things could go back to the way they were when you felt unstoppable — like you could conquer the world?

On the other hand, you might start each day overwhelmed with emotion — like a lead weight is holding you down to the point where just getting up in the morning feels like climbing a mountain.

Perhaps you’re one of those people who feels like they have a leash on life, until a situation, a sound, a smell or a feeling washes over you and you remember…everything. Like you’ve been forcibly yanked from your own body and flung into a different reality where life is all too vivid and clear.

From the non-stop worry of anxiety that prevents you from enjoying life, to the emotionally drowning sensations of depression, to the waves of detachment and terror that come with trauma and PTSD, you may be dealing with what can only be described as an avalanche of feelings…

But you don’t have to deal with them alone.

Unlock the Power of Somatic Psychotherapy

The truth is, our bodies are marvelous vehicles of capability, change and resilience. They have the strength, the power and the ability to do so much, yet you may feel as if you’re being held back by forces beyond your control.

And what’s worse, your body has likely reacted this same way before. It has created a well-worn neural pathway in the mind — like an old, familiar road you’ve traveled on several times. You recognize this place, but the destination is definitely not the kind of place you want to go. Not again.

With somatic psychotherapy, we’ll work together, helping you take the wheel and take back control. You’ll be steering your body out of that worn old trench and onto more resilient roads that lead you where you want to go.

Your thoughts are directly reflected in your body, which is why you might often feel the sweaty palms of anxiety, the crushing weight of depression or the whole-body fight-or-flight of PTSD.

But all too often, traditional talk therapy concentrates solely on the mind. Somatic psychotherapy allows you to connect your very real feelings to the reactions of your body and work through them in a gentle, welcoming, accepting environment. It does this through a variety of methods which are designed to support you. These include, but are not limited to:

Bringing awareness to your body — to change your reaction and overcome what has been holding you back, it’s necessary to remember this beautiful, powerful and magnificent vessel called the body. Take a moment and think about your breath. Think about how your chest rises and falls as the air is drawn in and released.

Until the moment I asked you to concentrate on your breathing, I’m sure you didn’t even think about it. But yet it’s so crucial to living that your body has done it automatically for all the years you’ve been on this earth. But awareness alone won’t solve all your problems.

Healing old wounds and discovering your body’s reactive patterns — Imagine being so in touch with your body and its reactions that you can carefully, and with gentle guidance, work through those unwanted emotions and habits that are holding you back.

Witnessing mindfulness — By turning your focus within, you’ll become both the observer and the self, seeing how your body acts and reacts to stresses, events, situations and other triggers as they unfold.

Imagine watching a movie of your life, where you’re simultaneously aware of all of the actors and yourself as the main character, yet also seated away and watching intently.

By being able to see the process unfold before your eyes and yet still actively taking part in it, you’re able to see where old wounds, old emotions, critical attitudes, buried trauma and other toxic behaviors, both from within and around you, have been holding you back and putting up barriers to your complete fulfillment.

Gaining the tools needed to overcome what’s holding you back

Of course, simply being aware of these issues does not solve them. That is where having the right tools can help. The somatic psychotherapists at Life by Design Therapy can help you work through these issues on a mental, emotional and physical level, allowing the constraints to simply melt away, as you step forward with confidence, into the you that you were born to be.

The Healing Power of Touch in therapy

From a welcome pat on the back to a couple holding hands, touch surrounds us. You may be surprised to learn that it also has its place in therapy as well.

Humans are instinctively “wired” for touch. Even in research as far back as the 1800s, researchers noticed that babies who were not cuddled simply failed to thrive. Touch communicates on an energy level beyond what words can say. It reassures us, comforts us, and adds flair to our conversations much like a garnish on our favorite meals.

Touch therapy is one part of somatic psychotherapy that can have significant benefits, but needs to be evaluated to determine if it is helpful or detrimental to your well-being. No matter what, the touch must always align with your therapeutic goals and follow proper ethical codes.

In the case of children, particularly those who have experienced trauma related to touch, their unique developmental needs are taken into consideration in order to help them in the greatest way possible.

Somatic therapy is One of the Many Holistic Methods Offered by Life by Design Therapy

Each of our professional psychotherapists embraces the holistic perspective to provide you with customized therapy that is designed to help heal your mind, body, and spirit in a way that helps you to overcome and thrive in spite of whatever has held you back.

And while we’ve devoted a great deal of time explaining somatic therapy, it is by no means the only method for helping to heal you holistically. Every client we welcome to our practice is evaluated and treated as the unique, incredible being that they are, which means that no two treatments will be alike.

You’re one step away from getting the techniques, tools and reassurance you need to live a life that is fulfilling and full of immeasurable joy and peace. It’s a life that only you can live, so reach out to us today to take that first all-important step.

To learn more about how we can help you create a life you love, contact us at our Berkeley or Richmond therapy office today.

[becauseithrewgasandamatchonher]

So can’t message you for some reason, doesn’t work when I send a message so why don’t we put everything under a read me so it doesn’t get so damn long.

One:

You know what if you won’t take my word for it listen to James Grossman the Executive Director of the American Historical Association:

James Grossman, the executive director of the American Historical Association, says that the increase in statues and monuments was clearly meant to send a message.

"These statues were meant to create legitimate garb for white supremacy," Grossman said. "Why would you put a statue of Robert E. Lee or Stonewall Jackson in 1948 in Baltimore?"

(http://www.npr.org/2017/08/20/544266880/confederate-statues-were-built-to-further-a-white-supremacist-future)

Or Doctor Mark Elliot:

“All of those monuments were there to teach values to people,” Elliott says. “That’s why they put them in the city squares. That’s why they put them in front of state buildings.” Many earlier memories had instead been placed in cemeteries.

The values these monuments stood for, he says, included a “glorification of the cause of the Civil War.”

(http://www.history.com/news/how-the-u-s-got-so-many-confederate-monuments)

I know you like to use your opinion instead of sources but I’m excited to see how you explain this away or discredit these people. Especially the guy in charge of the American Historical Association.

 Two:

Oh yeah because few people on the left are burning stuff that suddenly means everyone who is left leaning is for that. Are you out of your fucking mind? This is fucking ridiculous you think they speak for the entirety of the Left?? Like show me facts. Show me statistics that it’s a wide spread thing on our side then maybe I’ll take these people seriously until then chill the fuck out.

Also let’s talk about this article in regards to colleges. First and foremost again with the misuse of freedom of speech unless you’re going to fight all the times students have gotten expelled from Universities for saying slurs and shit you really need to chill out with your problem you have with a University exercising their right to not allow someone on to the campus and people exercising their right to protest until they are heard.

There is a code of conduct at Universities and it’s beyond ridiculous if a school is okay with inviting someone that has said/done things that go against that code of conduct when if I a student did any of that I would be fucking expelled. Them bringing that person in shows what the schools values are before you say “well they aren’t students.” If I owned a school and decided I was going to let Sean Spencer [a neo nazi who has called for ethnic genocide] come speak to my students that would say something about myself and my schools values.

Ann Coulter has said some fucked up shit to include the homophobic word f*ggot. She’s said "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity." She’s said "I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East and sending liberals to Guantanamo." She’s said “ Jews would be “perfected” once they became Christians.”

Do I need to keep going about the fucked up shit she has said? No one owes this woman a fucking platform she’s garbage. I read something once about how speech can be violent because of the effect it has on the body and the brain but there’s something that stands out to me:

The scientific findings I described above provide empirical guidance for which kinds of controversial speech should and shouldn’t be acceptable on campus and in civil society. In short, the answer depends on whether the speech is abusive or merely offensive.

Offensiveness is not bad for your body and brain. Your nervous system evolved to withstand periodic bouts of stress, such as fleeing from a tiger, taking a punch or encountering an odious idea in a university lecture.

Entertaining someone else’s distasteful perspective can be educational. Early in my career, I taught a course that covered the eugenics movement, which advocated the selective breeding of humans. Eugenics, in its time, became a scientific justification for racism. To help my students understand this ugly part of scientific history, I assigned them to debate its pros and cons. The students refused. No one was willing to argue, even as part of a classroom exercise, that certain races were genetically superior to others.

So I enlisted an African-American faculty member in my department to argue in favor of eugenics while I argued against; halfway through the debate, we switched sides. We were modeling for the students a fundamental principle of a university education, as well as civil society: When you’re forced to engage a position you strongly disagree with, you learn something about the other perspective as well as your own. The process feels unpleasant, but it’s a good kind of stress — temporary and not harmful to your body — and you reap the longer-term benefits of learning.

What’s bad for your nervous system, in contrast, are long stretches of simmering stress. If you spend a lot of time in a harsh environment worrying about your safety, that’s the kind of stress that brings on illness and remodels your brain. That’s also true of a political climate in which groups of people endlessly hurl hateful words at one another, and of rampant bullying in school or on social media. A culture of constant, casual brutality is toxic to the body, and we suffer for it.

That’s why it’s reasonable, scientifically speaking, not to allow a provocateur and hatemonger like Milo Yiannopoulos to speak at your school. He is part of something noxious, a campaign of abuse. There is nothing to be gained from debating him, for debate is not what he is offering.

On the other hand, when the political scientist Charles Murray argues that genetic factors help account for racial disparities in I.Q. scores, you might find his view to be repugnant and misguided, but it’s only offensive. It is offered as a scholarly hypothesis to be debated, not thrown like a grenade. There is a difference between permitting a culture of casual brutality and entertaining an opinion you strongly oppose. The former is a danger to a civil society (and to our health); the latter is the lifeblood of democracy.

By all means, we should have open conversations and vigorous debate about controversial or offensive topics. But we must also halt speech that bullies and torments. From the perspective of our brain cells, the latter is literally a form of violence.

(https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/14/opinion/sunday/when-is-speech-violence.html?mcubz=1)

Now can you say that being anti-Semitic [Jewish people will be perfected by becoming Christian] calling for the invasion, murder and forced conversion to Christianity [man that has a long history of fucking up countries] saying that we should televise and condone torture AND drop fucking bombs [daisy cutters] throughout the Middle East isn’t fucking abusive and oppressive? I mean you could but it’s garbage.

Three:

I love that you left out what that statement was in reference to. You said no one who is affected by it cares which was a blatant lie and you’ve obviously ignored the copious amounts of NA that have called for this stuff to be removed.

Your facts were called bullshit because they didn’t support your original statement.

You do realize it doesn’t fucking matter if 4.7 million don’t care right? Those 520k+ NA still exist and they give a damn so your statement the people affected don’t care is a fucking lie and using that article to push your narrative that is fucking wrong makes it bullshit. It’s not because I don’t like evidence. It’s because the evidence you have provided is garbage and doesn’t support the statement YOU FUCKING MADE. You don’t get to fucking decide an issue doesn’t matter because the majority of said group doesn’t care about it.

  Four:

Nothing you said changes that the article detailed how to help the NA community. So either your article is good and the information is sound or it’s bad. You can’t pick and choose. You can’t use part of the articles information to back up your statement then trash the rest of it. Do you know how that makes a source look?

Doesn’t matter why you omitted it. The point remains it proved my point that the government was fucking the NA community over. Your source that you provided agrees that what the government is doing with the land [along with the cigerrets and the casinos] are hurting the community.

Hmmmm that’s fair the US has provided that but uhm just a quick thing:

 Since it was first established within the old U.S. War Department in 1824, the Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIA) has distinguished itself as the most corrupt, ineffective and abusive agency in the federal government. Although the BIA now professes the greatest respect for "tribal sovereignty" and "tribal self-determination," there is precious little evidence of genuine concern for tribal autonomy in its administration of federal Indian policy as its recent illegal intervention into the internal affairs of the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma substantiates. The overwhelming weight of evidence tells a very different story about BIA policy making. By any standard, the BIA is a colossal failure as a government agency and the dead weight of its administrative wreckage represents the single greatest obstacle to the freedom, prosperity, cultural integrity and progress of Native Americans. Until the BIA is abolished and federal Indian policy is fundamentally reformed, the future holds little promise of a significant change in the lives of Native Americans.

(http://www.cherokeeobserver.org/Issues/abolishbiapart2.html)

 Five:

I don’t use reddit. Ever. So like again I say just say the shit you wanna say so I don’t waste my fucking time responding to it??

 Six:

So the fact that they haven’t paid there bills somehow means they deserve to be living with dirty fucking pipes? They deserve the city officials to not fix the fucking pipes that a lot of them have been prosecuted over for their role in it?

The first thing that you said in this post was this: We’ve given you everything you want, but you just want more you greedy layabouts. So  you didn’t originally say anything about people only complaining on twitter. Try reading through your own statements.

Seven:

You know how you said that I was misquoting you [which I wasn’t lol] it’s nice to see you doing the same thing. Here’s what I said:

ALSO I don’t know if you know this but not everyone is able to go out and do the stuff I do whether it’s age, whether it’s economical, whether it’s because they have a disability of some sort so calling them a lay about is so many levels of wrong not to mention talking this stuff on the internet can and often does get people involved who can do stuff to do so. You discounting the power of words and the internet is illogical and just to ridiculous for words.

At no point did I say that no one out of the people I listed could go out in protests but the fact remains that for every child, poor person, disabled person that can go there’s someone that can’t so again you calling these people layabouts is fucking garbage, but I love that you think the links you provided mean EVERYONE in those particular communities can do something.

Eight:

Yes. It’s quite possible since you’re more likely to live in poverty if you were in poverty as a child (https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/rich-kids-stay-rich-poor-kids-stay-poor/) (http://www.nccp.org/publications/pub_911.html) (https://www.brookings.edu/blog/social-mobility-memos/2016/02/19/a-college-degree-is-worth-less-if-you-are-raised-poor/) (http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2014/06/the-long-shadow-poverty-baltimore-poor-children/) and having literally all your money, land and shit stripped away from is a sure fire way to put people in poverty if I ever saw one.

I honestly can’t expect much from someone that thinks institutional oppression doesn’t exist. I mean I can’t blame you for not understanding this “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” thing is garbage and has always been garbage

Nine:

Read the following: (http://www.aaihs.org/slavery-the-13th-amendment-and-mass-incarceration-a-response-to-patrick-rael/) (http://www.historyisaweapon.com/defcon1/gilmoreprisonslavery.html) (https://www.afsc.org/story/slavery-mass-incarceration) (https://www.democracynow.org/2016/10/3/from_slavery_to_mass_incarceration_ava) (https://eji.org/enslavement-to-mass-incarceration-museum) (http://racism.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1470:institutionalized-slavery&catid=137&Itemid=155&showall=1&limitstart=)

 Also let’s talk about your articles

The one talking about Black leaders: I’m all for admitting there were other circumstances as well but the idea that the war on drugs wasn’t to attack Black communities (http://jezebel.com/nixons-policy-advisor-admits-he-invented-war-on-drugs-t-1766359595) or that drugs weren’t funneled into the community (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/10/gary-webb-dark-alliance_n_5961748.html) is factually incorrect.

Also there being other contributing factors to Mass Incarceration doesn’t suddenly mean it didn’t start with slavery.  That’s not how that works.

The first article:

Is the fact that Black politicians are on board with this and that there’s some racist black guy trying to put Black people in more economic poverty supposed to prove anything?

 Ten:

Have you ever experienced poverty? Have you ever experienced being so poor you can’t feed your own children [due to racism in the job market and a slew of other things] that you turn to crime to feed said children? If the choice is between starvation for yourself and your children and committing a crime that’s not a real choice.

One I didn’t bring the law in to this [despite the fact there are numerous racist legal practices] but I’m glad you can recognize that stuff from 100 years ago can affect today albeit even if you’re saying so in just a legal capacity. But please tell me how your comment is right but mine is wrong when I say stuff from 100+ years ago can affect people today?

 Eleven:

We are having a debate/argument/discussion whatever you want to call it and while you are right it’s not a research paper when you do this stuff you need to have your fact straight.

 For example I haven’t gotten stuff wrong here that’s fine but nothing I’ve gotten wrong has presented me as a possible racist liar [your own actions even if they were by accident are the same actions that racist people have done. People I’ve had this conversation with before so if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck it’s a duck until I know otherwise. AGAIN that was your fault. My initial evaluation of you was your own fault.]

 Twelve:

Don’t really care. If I’ve got the facts to back me up I’ll cuss all I want especially when it’s about topics that directly affect me and others like me. If you allow my insults to detract from the facts that’s something YOU need to work on not me because even if you had cussed me out I still would have read your sources and I would have replied to them in kind.

If my argument is supported by facts and you think me being mean to you delegitimizes my argument that is supported by facts that means you don’t care about the facts because someone was mean to you. People need to stop using people being mean to them as a way to negate facts.

 Thirteen:

So I realized I didn’t actually link my source apparently lol?? I thought I did so that’s on me but it was a list of articles from google talking about the issue but I already know we are gonna run into this problem again later down so I’ll save what I am going to say for then.

 Fourteen:

So all you’ve got is your opinions didn’t I say don’t bother responding if you couldn’t give me something other than your opinion?

However there is something I will address. Yes we commit more violent crimes I won’t ever deny that because I know it’s a fact. I frequently use those FBI tables in conversations. What I will say though is violent crimes doesn’t encompass everything so let’s talk about that other stuff:

Even more surprising is what gets left out of the chart: Blacks are far more likely to be arrested for selling or possessing drugs than whites, even though whites use drugs at the same rate. And whites are actually more likely to sell drugs:

Whites were about 45 percent more likely than blacks to sell drugs in 1980, according to an analysis of the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth by economist Robert Fairlie. This was consistent with a 1989 survey of youth in Boston. My own analysis of data from the 2012 National Survey on Drug Use and Health shows that 6.6 percent of white adolescents and young adults (aged 12 to 25) sold drugs, compared to just 5.0 percent of blacks (a 32 percent difference).

This partly reflects racial differences in the drug markets in black and white communities. In poor black neighborhoods, drugs tend to be sold outdoors, in the open. 

 (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/09/30/white-people-are-more-likely-to-deal-drugs-but-black-people-are-more-likely-to-get-arrested-for-it/?utm_term=.1797b7e3e9ef)

To compound on this cops just don’t seem to care about white people doing this stuff. (https://www.aclu.org/issues/mass-incarceration/smart-justice/war-marijuana-black-and-white) (https://privacysos.org/blog/there-goes-your-overtime-cop-explains-why-police-dont-target-powerful-whites-in-drug-enforcement/) The CIA definitely didn’t care when they were targeting Black people and Hippies.

Not to mention white people are now calling for a gentler war on drugs now because of a fucking heroin crisis (https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/31/us/heroin-war-on-drugs-parents.html?mcubz=1) but I mean fuck the Black community right? Let’s support laws that put them in jail (http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2014/08/racial_bias_in_criminal_justice_whites_don_t_want_to_reform_laws_that_harm.html)

 Black people are more likely to have their cars searched despite the fact that they find more illegal stuff on white people (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/10/27/police-are-searching-black-drivers-more-often-but-finding-more-illegal-stuff-with-white-drivers-2/?utm_term=.e402ec8667c4)

Black people are more likely to be stopped and frisked despite the fact that white people carry more contraband (https://thinkprogress.org/white-people-stopped-by-new-york-police-are-more-likely-to-have-guns-or-drugs-than-minorities-9bf579a2b9b3/)

And there’s this too: (https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016/07/data-police-racial-bias)

So that information about violent crime doesn’t suddenly fix everything.

ALSO Black people are more likely to be in poverty so there’s a racial aspect to all of this isn’t if it isn’t the single contributing factor. One of the reasons is probably this: (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2915472/) or this: (http://www.epi.org/publication/african-americans-are-paid-less-than-whites-at-every-education-level/)

 Fifteen:

Columbus was also trash and his statues need to be removed and Columbus day should be replaced with Indigenous People’s Day [it’s already happening but all of America needs to get with the times] again books, museums and mandatory curriculums exist that’s not gonna change.

Have you heard anyone call for the removal of museums that are about educating people? I know for a fact that the African American History and Heritage Museum has a section about Civil War and there’s no way people would remove that. Now a museum glorifying the actions of the Confederate sure remove it. History like that should be remembered not glorified.

Educating isn’t glorifying and if you can’t tell the difference between those two words I can’t help you. NOT TO FUCKING MENTION it’s the people that are supporting this shit that are ALL FOR revising ACTUAL HISTORY BOOKS that teach kids about this stuff. We aren’t the ones doing what you’re accusing us of. The right is.

  Sixteen:

Soooo you’re against pedophilic material being censored since no one should be forcibly censored? I mean that’s cool…I guess….I can’t even.

Now obviously, I don’t actually believe you believe that but your stance is no censorship is good but if you budge that means in certain circumstances it is. So who are you to decide what those circumstances are? Mine reasons are based off the racist history of the statues and their continued presence in a society that claims to be post racial/racism

 Seventeen:

So I’ve already proven that you’re wrong about why those statues were put up from two very reliable sources but I am eager to see how you plan to discredit them or if you’re even gonna bother providing sources and are going to use your opinion again which will not hold up to that.

Anyway those statues were put up to glorify the reasons the south seceded [racism along many other things] and to terrorize Black people. It wasn’t solely about memorializing their fallen [I’ll agree that was part of the reason] but like that part shouldn’t matter since the racism is quite clear now. At least to anyone that cares about sources.

 Eighteen:

Things happened in the past that effect the present [which you agreed with] and therefore reconciliation should be made.

Also you didn’t have a single source to back up your opinions so you saying it’s not real doesn’t mean shit to me because your opinion doesn’t mean shit without fucking sources. Your word isn’t fucking fact.

OH MY GOD yes because a Black man managed to do that with some KKK members that means they can all have that happen? Didn’t you get “mad” at me earlier for something along these lines? You are a joke if you think the people he convered represent the entitirety of the population of the KKK which is said to be 3000 people (http://www.epi.org/publication/african-americans-are-paid-less-than-whites-at-every-education-level/) We don’t even have a number of how many people he converted but you wanna use that as proof that all these racist fucks aren’t gonna stay that way?

Fine I will change my stance THE MAJORITY OF THESE FUCKS will continue to be the way they are unless there are serious consequences for the fucking behavior whether it’s getting expelled from college, losing their job or someone beating the ever living shit out of them. This is not me saying I condone violence but my point stands.

 Nineteen:

Do you realize the KKK have been marching around the US before this? Do you realize the Nazism and all that was on the rise before this happened? Also when it comes to PoC people claim the victim narrative is bullshit but let it be the KKK and Neo-Nazis all of a sudden it’s got legitimacy that’s racist bullshit.

Their beliefs don’t change facts. Their history is racist. The KKK is racist. Neo-Nazism is racist. The Confederacy seceded for multiple reasons but one of them was RACISM. The fact that people are claiming to agree with them is just more proof that our country is racist but of course no one will go for that because these people are the actual ones trying to erase fucking history.

Things aren’t always black and white. Things don’t always happen because of racism but you acting like systematic oppression doesn’t exist is factually incorrect, moronic and doesn’t help shit in tearing down these systems in order to help people.

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