#A TAD i said

[lonewolf638]

pre-stanford sam & dean ⇄ dial drunk, noah kahan.

DEAN Well, it's a two-way street, dude. You could've picked up the phone.

(SAM stares at him sadly.)

[anders-hawke]

🤠👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨🤠

[sincerely-sofie]

Thinking about @gehtsis’s children and how terrifying it would be to get their team assigned to help you escape from a mystery dungeon.

If these are what my heroes look like I'm 99% certain I'd be screaming and running the other way. Menacing cryptid-looking grim reaper and cursed psychic clay doll. I love them.

[linkbetweenlinksau]

Some references and written descriptions of the lbl boys. I’ll update the rest later, but for now, take Sky, Minish, Time, Legend, Hyrule, and Twilight.

Please for the love of all things that are holy read the tags and don’t tag this as LU

Next one

[catocappuccino]

[astarlightmonbebe]

the appeal of yeojeong as a normal guy who’s just a little bit off. not enough that you would notice when talking to him, of course, but it’s just there, under the surface. a disturbance. and i think it’s interesting because typically you have two types of guys somewhat adjacent to this: guy who seems totally normal but is secretly sadistic/a psychopath, and then guy haunted by a traumatic/troubled past, who has that secret layer of torment running beneath the surface of their image. but yeojeong breaks through these archetypes, and i think part of it is because he’s just so...calm. it’s not that he’s living a double life (kind doctor by day, killer by night) or hiding part of his past (everyone he worked with knew about what happened to his father, and watched his downward spiral during his college days). he’s not the typical male character who is, at every attempt, trying to outrun his tragic past (even though he does run once or twice); he’s not haunted by flashbacks, or suffer from PTSD in the way that is usually portrayed in dramas. and i think part of that is because the glory is a story about victims. it’s dongeun’s story, first and foremost, even though it is also yeojeong’s story, and hyeonnam’s story, and sohee’s story. but it’s a story about dongeun’s pain, and when it’s not about her pain, it’s just about the pain of victimhood - unlike other dramas, this isn’t a show where male pain outweighs the rest.

so yeojeong is just a normal guy. he’s handsome. he has a good career. he’s a plastic surgeon, an interesting choice when both his parents were/are hospital directors, and his father seemed to have worked in the er or something of the sort prior to his death (or at the very least wasn’t a plastic surgeon). something could be said here of yeojeong choosing the ‘safe’ path as a doctor, a path where he cures pain and makes people happy without the added risk of being attacked by one of his patients. there’s no proof of that in the show - why he chose to be a plastic surgeon - but it’s an interesting thought path to travel. 

dongeun says he must have lived a good life. that he’s never had to worry about the path that he’s on. and that’s true, to a certain extent. to everyone, including her in the beginning, yeojeong is perfectly friendly. he’s perfect, but not the perfect that people perceive as too perfect (i.e. the guy who’s hiding things); he has his moments where he spazzes out, gets into fights, goes crazy over dongeun texting him back, teases his mom. he’s perfectly well adjusted (a perfect contrast to dongeun’s ‘maladjustment’). he wears flip flops to work and gets the same coffee order daily. he plays go with old men in the park.

he likes to listen to the fizzing of vitamin tablets in water because it calms him down. is this a strange thing? only because he thinks it’s important enough to mention to his therapist. he does it at work too - drops the tablet in, closes his eyes, rests his head. he does it at home - drops the tablet in, opens the drawer, draws a knife. it’s about the noise. bubbles rising to the surface, like bubbles rising from underwater. he stays underwater until the last possible moment, when he has to break the surface in order to breath. dongeun makes him feel like he’s at the eye of a storm - a deceptively calm center, while everything else rages outside. and i think it’s kind of important that he makes that comparison, when he’s someone always seeking that calm. the soothing noise, that makes him feel lonely.

so he’s just a normal guy. a normal guy who receives letters on a regular basis from the prisoner who brutally murdered his father. he doesn’t like letters, he tells dongeun. who knows what he does with the letters - does he keep them? does he throw them away as soon as he sees them? he must have read some of them; maybe you only need to read one to know what is in the rest. maybe he’s still reading them; maybe he keeps them without reading, an invisible torment. it’s not what he does with the letters that matters, but that he receives letters at all. 

can you still call it a haunting if you’ve almost made your peace with it? if you’re living with it? 

he’s just a normal guy, who looks his therapist right in the eyes and tells her that she couldn’t fix him. he diligently attends therapy for years on a regular basis, even though it doesn’t work. he finally abandons it when he moves to semyeong, because he chooses to embrace dongeun’s revenge. he chooses his own revenge, too, in a way. the dark part of him that he can’t escape. the one that makes him pick up the knife, who asks dongeun who to kill before she even tells him she wants any of them dead, even when he’s a doctor from a family of doctors, and doctors don’t kill - they save lives instead. 

you couldn’t fix me, he tells his therapist calmly. so calmly. as if there’s not a bloodied man sitting next to him, a man he dreams of killing. the man is just life to him, just like the letters are life to him to. a dulled numbness. an acceptance of it. 

is your son going through hell? can you even tell it’s hell, if it’s what you’ve become used to? is it hell when you’re a doctor dreaming of murder? is it hell to no longer be tormented by dead men and living murderers who send you letters? is it?

[nishastisowl]

The Unholy Hotel! Au!

This is inspired by a couple of YouTubers who record and show some paranormal and spooky stuff in a haunted hotel and then I thought of these twins

But then again after the thbk hotel au thing I decided to Add Tad and Bill into this (Why? Heh..my uh...kid allegation)

And I just drew a quick doodle

To make this simple the twins decided to explore the mysteries throughout the hotel while bringing some of their little companion without knowing their demons/supernaturals!

Yes Tad is a fucking Rat who ate rotten Bread-

[sunsetsandsunshine]

Hiii! Great job on finishing your WIPs by the way! 😁

For requests, I'm curious as to how you'd write tmnt 2003, so maybe lee Mikey, if you're up to it? (Ler can be anyone, your choice!! 😘)

I hope you're doing well! 😊

~ 𝚆𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑 𝚃𝚅 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚎! ~

💙🐢🧡 𝙵𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢: @savemeafruitjuice 💙🐢🧡

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝚈𝙾𝙾𝙾 🩷💓!!! 𝙷𝙴𝚈𝙰 𝙹𝚄𝙸𝙲𝙴 🤩💕💘💕💘!!! 𝙸𝚝’𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚊 𝚑𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚝𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚃𝙼𝙽𝚃 𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟹 (𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢’𝚛𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚃𝙼𝙽𝚃 𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚕) 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚊𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚖𝚜 𝙾𝙾𝙲 𝚘𝚛 𝚠𝚘𝚗𝚔𝚢 🥲💔. 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝚋𝚛𝚘 😗💖— 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝙷𝙸𝚃 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚘𝚏 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚢𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚝𝚢. 𝚂𝚘 𝚕𝚎𝚝’𝚜 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚒𝚝 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚋𝚒𝚝 😅…˚*• ̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊·̩̩̥͙

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙵𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟷,𝟺𝟽𝟽

𝙻𝚎𝚎: 𝙼𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚢 🐢🧡

𝙻𝚎𝚛: 𝙻𝚎𝚘 🐢💙

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝙼𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚘 𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚓𝚘 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝙻𝚎𝚘 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝚆𝚑𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚊𝚢 𝚊𝚜𝚔? 𝟷. 𝙱𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝟸. 𝙱𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚝? 𝙰𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚢 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝙼𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙻𝚎𝚘’𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚐𝚊𝚗𝚜…

𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜: @itzsana-kiddingmenow @saturnzskyzz @tmntalways

@shut-up-jo @someone1348 @rice-cake-teen10 @turtletimewriting

(𝙰/𝙽: 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚐𝚘 𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚢 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚎, 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 😵‍💫…𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟹 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚜 🫶🏾💖💕💗! 𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢: 𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢! 𝚃*𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔/𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝙳𝙽𝙸!!!)

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚃𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐— 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 😌👍🏾💓 

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝚃𝚄𝚁𝚃𝙻𝙴𝚂 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙽𝚃 𝙸𝚃 𝙾𝙵𝙵!!! 🌚𝙾𝙽𝙴🤪𝚃𝚆𝙾👁️𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙴💅🏾𝙵𝙾𝚄𝚁🌝˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

“Leeeoooooooo!!! Come watch TV with meeee…” Mikey whined loudly, resting his head on his eldest brother’s shoulder as the other sat quietly on the dojo floor, meditating. 

“I’m obviously doing something here, Mike.” Leo said calmly, trying to concentrate on his meditation. 

Which…was kind of hard when his little brother was literally breathing down his neck. 

The orange banded turtle huffed, hugging onto his brother’s arm like the clingy koala that he was, “I thought you loved meeee…”

The slightly taller turtle sighed longly, stopping his meditation for a quick second as he opened his eyes, looking down at his brother, “Don’t be ridiculous. You know I love you.” 

Mikey smiled at the slightly defensive response, hugging the other’s arm tighter, “If you love me so much then watch some TV with me!!!” 

Leonardo fondly rolled his eyes, squeezing the freckled faced teen in a side hug, “I’ll watch TV with you later, okay? I promise.” The blue banded turtle exclaimed as he went back into the sitting position he was in beforehand. He put the both of his hands in his lap, closing his eyes as he tried to concentrate quietly. 

Mikey sighed loudly, resting his cheek on his older brother’s shoulder, causing Leo to stiffen slightly. The taller turtle opened his eyes once more, glaring at the other as the smallest turtle just grinned back, batting his eyelashes dramatically. 

“Mikey.” Leo hissed. 

“Yes~?” The younger sang innocently as his free hand started to squeeze at his big brother’s side. The blue banded teen’s eyes widened, biting back down the laugh that was bubbling in his throat. 

The youngest snorted at his brother’s reaction, raising an amused brow, “What’s going on, man? I thought you were concentrated with meditating.”

“I. Am.” The other said through gritted teeth.

“Really? You sure about that, bro?” The younger asked teasingly. 

Leo sighed knowingly, cracking his knuckles at he took one more glance at his baby brother. 

So this is the way Michelangelo wanted to play? Fine by him. 

If he was going to interrupted during his personal meditation/training session, he should at least take what he’s learned to good use, right? Right. 

The elder quickly and swiftly got out of the hold the youngest had him in. And as soon as he did, Leonardo pinned his brother’s arms on the dojo floor as he sat on his legs effortlessly.   

The orange banded turtle’s eyes widened in panic, his cocky demeanor immediately crumbling as he realized the situation he practically dug himself into.

But the eldest did take notice how his younger brother wasn’t really fighting and/or resisting all that much.

If Mikey really wanted to get away, Leo would’ve gotten punched in the gut right now.

“Waha— wait wait wahait!!!” The smaller turtle squeaked out, kicking his legs behind his brother “C-Cohome ohon— cahan’t we tahalk about thihis first…?”

“I don’t even know why you’re acting so surprised. You knew this was going to happen, Mikes…” Leo said as he couldn’t help but chuckle at his now flustered brother. 

“Buhut Ihi— *snort* Leeheeo!!” Mikey whined, shaking his head back and forth repeatedly as his giggles raised an octave due to the fact that his mean brother was wiggling his fingers above him teasingly. 

Okay…well on the bright side of things, Leo and him were hanging out now!

Although, them 'hanging out' was just Mikey about to get his shit absolutely wrecked, but hey! Maybe Leonardo would go easy on him…?

I mean, Mikey might be the smallest turtle out of the four, but he was also by far the cutest out of all of them (April definitely said so at one point in time so therefore it’s automatically correct), so Leo couldn’t and wouldn’t be…that malicious, right?

If he would, the youngest would file a restraining order. 

“What? You what, Mikey? You saw I was meditating and I said I would watch TV with you later. And yet you still persisted on bothering me.” 

“I-Ihi’m *snort* sohORRY, okAHAY?! Juhust pLEHEASE *snort* d-dohon’t—“

“Please what?” 

“TIHICKLE MEEHEE!!!”

“Tickle you? Oh, whahat a wonderful idea.” Leo mused as he scribbled his free hand against his little brother’s side. Michelangelo shrieked at the sudden sensation to his sides, squirming and wriggling as he tried to get out of the hold.

“Gehet *snort* oHOFF *snort* OHOF meehee!” The youngest whined loudly through his laughter, kicking his feet on the ground repeatedly. 

The eldest turtle huffed out a small chuckle, letting go of both of his brother’s hands and letting them flail around before digging his fingers into his brother’s underarms. 

The orange banded teen let out a loud squeal, putting his hands down as he pushed on his brother’s arms, “GOHOH *snort* A-AWAHAHAY!” 

“Your snorting already? I’ve barely done anything yet.” 

“S-SHUHUT *snort* *squeak* UHUP!” 

“Ehexcuse me? What did you just say?” Leonardo asked, ceasing the tickling for a second as him and Mikey rustled and tussled with each other’s arms.

“NONONONOHO— *snort* PLEHEASE DOHON’T!!!”

“Then moohoove your hands, Mike!”

“IHIHI *snort* CAHAN’T!”

“Then you put this upon yourself…” Leo said as he leaned in and blew a raspberry in the crook of his baby brother’s neck while kneading his hips.

The younger basically screamed in loud laughter, throwing his head back as happy tears shined in his eyes, “EEEEEHAHAHA!” 

“Wow. This must tickle really bad, huh?” 

“BEEHEE QUIHIHIET!!!” 

“If you really want me to stop, you can just say stop, y'know.” 

“NAHAHAH— *snort* SHUHUSH SHUHUSH!!” 

“Unless…” Leo hinted teasingly, his fingers clamping down on the other’s thigh as he squeezed it mercilessly, still blowing raspberries on the orange cladded turtle’s neck. 

“JAHSHHSJAKAHAH!!!” Mikey stuttered through his laugh. 

“What was that?”

“MABSGHAJAHAH— *snort* *snort* JDHDHAHAH!!!” 

“Oh, you don’t say…”

“MANSHSJWKAHA— *snort* *squeal*!!”

“Really? Wow. You don’t hear news like that everyday.” The blue cladded turtle joked, going back to squeezing Mikey’s hipbones.

“NOHO *squeak* STAHA— *squeak* IHI— *snort* L-LEEHEEHEEO!” 

“Yes~?”

“PLEHEHA— *squeak* PLEHEASE NAHA— *snort* STAHAP I-IHI CAHAN’T!!!” Michaelangelo cried as happy tears ran down his cheeks. Leo couldn’t help but giggle at the adorable sight of his younger brother completely lost in his own cackles. The eldest stopped, sitting to the other side of Mikey so the youngest could catch his breath. 

The orange banded turtle slumped on Leo’s shoulder once more as the eldest wrapped him in a comforting hug, “Yohou’re freeheeaking *snort* evil…” 

The leader in blue snorted softly at the remark, “Ahand yohou’re annoying as hell.” 

“Tahakes one toohoo know one, dear ohold brohohother ohof mine.” The orange banded teen grinned, the two enjoying each other’s company in comforting silence before the eldest spoke, “What TV show did you want to watch with me anyway?”

“Star Trek! Dad brought new DVD’s and—“

“AND YOU DIDN’T TELL ME?!” Leonardo basically screeched, leaping unto his feet as he quickly helped his brother up, taking his hand and almost dragging him to the living room. “I-I just said I wanted to watch TV with you!” Mikey yelled as he was being dragged along the hallway, “I didn’t know Star Trek was that important to you—“

Leonardo stopped in his tracks, slowly turning around to his brother, “Star Trek is very important to me.” He explained, turning back around as he saw the TV starting to play his favorite Sci-Fi show. The blue banded teen sat down next to his Father on the couch, becoming almost entranced by the television. 

Not so far from where the leader in blue was sitting, Raph was leaning on a wall as he was talking to the second youngest. Mikey approached the two with a big, happy grin on his face, putting an arm around Donatello.

“You got Leo to come out of his meditation cave, I pressure?” The scientist asked. 

“Yessir!” The youngest said happily, “But I just don’t understand how he meditates for, like, three freaking hours. I can barely do one!!! It’s impressive honestly…” 

“More like concerning.” Donnie added on.

“Well…impressive or not, Fearless over there needs to take a break every now an' again. So thanks for doing what you did, Mike. We all appreciate it.” Raphael said, a small, embarrassed blush appearing on his face as his little brother’s looked at him teasingly. “Awe…Raphie you looooove us~!” Donatello grinned.

The red banded teen rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, “I take back everythin' I said about lovin' any of you dunderheads…” He muttered, although his voice lacked his usual snarky and cocky tone— which the two youngest turtle’s definetley took notice in. 

“My sons, are you going to come and watch the space alien science fiction show with me and Leonardo?” Splinter asked the three teens. “Sure, Sensei.” Donnie said as they walked over.

“SHHH SHHH!!! IT’S ON MY FAVORITE SCENE!!!” Leo hissed as he was still looking at the television.

“But…every scene is your 'favorite scene'…” Raphael laughed.

“SAME. DIFFERENCE!!!” 

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙵𝙸𝙽˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙ 

(𝙿.𝚂.: 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐!!!)

[itsmistyeyedbi]

The detectives love interest calming and comforting them does so much to my heart and the "I'm here for you" throughline is perfect, but the bff ones also do shit to my heart🥺

It's Morgan, Farah, Nate and Adam respectively and my little heart almost burst🥺

[succulentlyswitchy]

I WANT TO GIVE HIM THINGS!! like the opportunity to

cum in me and get me pregnant

[almayver]

*vibing, washing the dishes*

AND THIS HERE ITS NOT SINGING, IM JUST SCREAMING IN TUNE

*resumes vibing*

[everythingisconfetti]

what is the best love song ever written and why is it Fair by The Amazing Devil?

[codacheetah]

It's deeply important to me that Loop kind of sucks

[moeblob]

Ananza realizing that Deacon's mom was a devoted follower of hers THEREFORE that's her son now, too! And she will dote on him and love him and never pick on him like all the other deities tend to do. That's her precious little boy who lives in another city and rarely gets to see her!

[chaosinstigator]

“why am i losing followers” *talks about daniel like he’s dead and buried*

[permettez-moi]

5. Alone

His mind still fuzzy from deep sleep, Will rolled over to the other side of the bed. The cold sheets worked like a cold plunge, waking him up immediately as the events of the previous day came back to him.

Fire, screams, the scent of burned flesh.

He buried his head in her pillow, not wanting to leave the bed yet, not wanting to face the unbearable truth just yet. As long as he lay here, he could pretend she got up early. Had a nightmare perhaps. The sweet hints of her perfume comforted him, in a way that should not hurt as much as it did. The knowledge that soon her smell would be gone, and nothing but his memory would be left. He felt a wave of nausea coming up, only just barely suppressed by closing his lips firmly. Jaw clenched.

The house was quiet, unusually so. Normally there would be soft and stinky morning kisses, words grumbled by a woman not yet ready for the day. The swish of her dressing gown, creaking of the shutters being opened. Will lay there, silent, waiting for a sound. Any sound that proved she was not gone. Dead. No such sound came. The quiet was no longer peaceful, but heavy. Lonely. It wasn’t until he heard Tugs worried whinnying that he dragged himself out of bed. He too heard they- he wasn’t up yet.

Opening the door to the empty cabin took all he had to give. Out of habit, Will walked towards the kitchen, grabbing the coffee beans, grinder and cups. He got to work measuring out the beans. Added a spoonful of honey to his own cup, realised he had taken two, and froze. He stared at her brown stained cup, thinking about how she would cradle it. How he would get the first smile of the day when he handed it to her. The cup left behind on the counter, Will trudged over to the fire, which was still out, kettle still cold. That was, Alyss’ job in the mornings. Putting the kettle in the hot coals, adding a single log to keep it alive was typically all she could get her to do before her morning coffee. Will could feel bile rise, looking at the cold fireplace, the shells and stones collected from her travels displayed on the mantle. The room started warping, spinning. His head buzzed with words he could not yet decipher, his stomach roiling with grief. He turned away, only to see her small desk, left behind as if she would walk in at any moment, pick up where she left off. The wooden carving he made her once used as a paperweight. As quick as he could, he fled outside for air, taking a hold of the door frame, letting the brisk morning cool his head, gather his thoughts. ‘she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone.’ He rubbed his hands over his face, trying to get the thoughts out, ‘she’s dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Murdered. Murdered. Murdered. Burned alive. Murdered’. His head spun once again, his vision blacked out, the hole world seemed to stand still all of a sudden, while he kept turning. Stumbling forward he sat down in the rocking chair on the veranda. Her rocking chair. He closed his eyes, panicked, the world wouldn’t stop blacking out, fading. Deep breaths. What do you hear, Will? The horses. birds. rustling trees. the creaking of the chair. his own breathing. What do you see, Will? Opening his eyes carefully, he saw the grass. wildflowers. a trail of some brave bunnies. Alyss’ overshoes. What do you smell, Will? He took a deep breath, steadying himself. Averting his eyes from the mud caked shoes. The horses. morning dew. his own sweat. No coffee, no lingering perfume from the day before. No. Stop. Come on. Will, be stern with yourself. Focus. What do you taste, Will? His morning breath. The fresh air. What do you feel, Will? Despair.

Will closed his eyes, and wept.

The life he had dreamed of, the woman he had never deserved. The peace of mind and softness of life. It had all been ripped, burned, away from him. What would happen with her now? Was there a God out there willing to take her? Keep her safe? Was there even a God out there? If so, how could it smite him with this. Had he done wrong? Had he not always tried to be the best he could? Was she safe?

His heart gutted at the idea, the knowledge that there was nothing out there. Raised in the ward, and then by Halt, Will did not believe in such things as Gods. At least not the kind that created heavens. It tore him apart. If he could believe, maybe he could grieve better. Take comfort from the knowledge that she would at least be okay. That she would still be. All he got was the emptiness left behind by the past, the future.

He tried to refocus his thoughts. What do you see, Will? Her shoes. Her blanket. Her chair. Her favourite flowers. Her book, left behind on the summer evening. He failed to refocus his thoughts. She was everywhere. This little cabin was their world. She was his world.

Will stared out into the forest, thinking about the one thing that wouldn’t get him thinking about her. Nothing at all.