#it's giving the lead to good angst in future fics!!!!!!

[littledovesnow]

president snow, the prelude

a/n: so there were like 750 words that didn't make it into the final fic for president!coryo, here they are! i wasn't going to publish this, but it sets up a lot of the backstory for future fics i have planned :)

-----

The room was electric as Lucky Flickerman’s face popped up on the TV, ready to announce Panem’s next president.

Your husband, who was freshly twenty-five and had his name on the ballot fo the first time, stood next to you, hand laced in your own.

“You’re a shoo-in, Coryo, I don’t know what they’re even doing counting the votes. Everyone knows you’re going to come out on top. After all, Snow lands on top.”

Coriolanus smiled softly at the sound of his family’s favorite phrase. He knew he had most likely won the election as well, but he wanted to hear the final vote before celebrating anything.

“The results are in,” Lucky Flickerman’s dramatics were dialed to a hundred tonight, as he flicked open an envelope brought to him by a station worker.

“Panem’s next president is,” he trailed off, wanting to build the anticipation.

You could feel the electric in the air, squeezing your husband’s hand as Lucky opened his mouth to continue. “The Capitol’s own Coriolanus Snow!”

Cheers erupted from the Snow’s great room, Coriolanus’ closest family and friends having gathered for the momentous occasion.

Mr. and Mrs. Plinth, who thought of you considered your in-laws, wasted no time in congratulating the young man, their next president. “We always knew you had it in you, Coriolanus. Ever since you and Sejanus first were mentors way back when!”

You and Coriolanus shared a look, neither of you had ever come out with the truth about what happened when Coriolanus was exiled the summer after the 10th Hunger Games.

Putting on a smile, Coriolanus hugged the older woman, and shook hands with his late classmate’s father. “You’ll do this nation proud, boy.”

“Thank you, Mr. Plinth.”

Mrs. Plinth brought her attention to you, the nation’s next First Lady. “You’ll be a splendid First Lady! Oh, the Capitol will be overjoyed to have a young couple at the helm again! Especially once a child is brought up!”

You stopped yourself from frowning, instead giving the woman a soft smile.

Coriolanus watched with a careful eye, not wanting to cause a scene at the woman’s comments. He and you had been trying for a child for a few months, to no avail. One of his first tasks as president would be to find better fertility care, as he was growing worried that each failure was taking a larger toll on you than you let on.

“If you’ll excuse us, I believe I do need to go make a speech.” Coriolanus smiled, tugging you out of the room with a promise to catch up at his inauguration.

You waited until you two were in the privacy of your bedroom before letting any emotions go, inner turmoil over your husband’s victory and sadness over Mrs. Plinth’s comment.

“Hey, hey, look at me.” Coriolanus murmured; voice much softer than when he is in public. “What’s going on in that pretty mind of yours?”

 You looked at your husband with tears on deck, stomach rolling over. “She’s true. The Capitol’s going to want us to start a family as soon as possible. I’m going to be seen as a failure if I can’t even get pregnant!”

Coriolanus wrapped his arms around you as your emotions crumbled, heat growing in his heart. He wanted to immediately call for her to lose her tongue, with little regard that she was one of the two people who had helped him financially be able to make it to this point in his life.

“We’ll figure it out, my love. I vowed to help you become a mother, and it’s a vow I intend to keep.”

You sniffled, wiping your nose on your sleeve, earning a tsk from the president-elect. “I just wish it was as easy as It is for everyone else. I deserve this, for God’s sake!”

Coriolanus frowned, hand running up and down your spine. “I know, my love.” He wasn’t sure what else to say, so he kept his lips closed.

The two of you stayed like that for a few moments more, until there was a knock at the door, an Avox opening it once Coriolanus granted permission.

Holding a phone up, the Avox gestured to Coriolanus, who begrudgingly stepped away from you to take the call, which was Lucky Flickerman himself, conducting a phone-style interview live on air.

Coriolanus rolled his eyes, playing into the pizazz and cheer over the phone, stating how excited he was to have this honor as president, all while sitting on the luxurious bed you two shared, hand moving up and down your arm as you curled into his side.

-----

a/n: and there it is folks, basically why i made coriolanus want funding for a fertility clinic :)

[tteokdoroki]

࣪𖤐๋࣭ — JOCK BF!YUUJI ENTRY #10. babies, lots of ‘em.

about. the all star jock has an intense breeding kink that leads him to confess the plans he has for he and his weird girlfriend’s future. ( 2.5K )

warnings. minors, blank and ageless blogs do not interact! nsfw, smut, angst if you squint, characters aged up to 20s, breeding kink, unprotected sex, cum play, praise, jock bf!yuuji, weird girl + fem!reader - the brain rot continues !! inspired by @kweenkatsuki-fics recent yuuji thirsting hehe <3

“‘mma give you babies… lots of ‘em,” yuuji slurs, his hips ramming into yours at a bruising, unprecedented pace. 

beneath your shaky fingertips, the muscles of your boyfriend’s back ripple with his movements — his strength as he uses the headboard for leverage to fuck into your sloppy, sweltering heat of your sex. you’re flat on your back, his heavy and weighty body hanging over yours protectively while itadori traps you between the blazing heat in his chest and the sweaty bed sheets below. whenever yuuji gets in the mood like this, possessive and hungry for you ( and nobody else but you ), in the mood to keep you all to himself — you can’t help but succumb to each one of his touches and wet kisses. 

you can’t help the way your body trembles in the cage of his muscular arms while his abs ripple against your tummy and his pelvis tacks deliciously to your swollen clit. the bed creaks beneath the sloppy affair of your grinding bodies and somehow, within the mess of sex and love, your freehands link and squeeze to ground one another. “the way you’re suckin’ me in, god, honey,” yuuji coos, his words tickle the shell of your ear delicately, contrasting with the carnivorous way his deep brown eyes drink you in when he pulls back slightly to look at you, silver chain and dog tags dangling above your hot face, as if he’s picturing you nice and full of him and his seed. “so selfish, you don’t wanna let me pull out. you want this cum…yeah?” 

in that moment, you think you might cum, all because of the breathy whimpers from your lover that ghost over your dampened cupid’s bow ( wet from kisses ) — accompanied by the sensation of his hard-on bullying its way into your tight, quivering little hole. there’s a keen smile that spreads across yuuji’s plush lips when you nod your head ‘yes’ in response, you feel his excitement and desire for you deepen when the entire length of him twitches inside of you — pulsating as small spurts of precum begin to line your lewdly squelching walls.

“i knew you would, you’re such a good girl…and you’re all mine, how lucky am i? that you’re all. fucking. mine.” for a boy so sweet and gentlemanly outside of the bedroom, itadori is always sure to fuck you nasty and raw whilst making you feel like the most adored person on the planet. yuuji’s sailor-mouth-like praises are slurred and sinful, a tale tale sign that he’s already pussy drunk as he sheaths inch after inch within you. you can hardly blame him, not when your body adjusts to yuuji so perfectly — silken pussy stretching over the blue spiralling veins on his heavy cock. “mine to love, mine to fuck, mine to breed.” he tells you through seraphic gripes too.

“ohmygod!” you squeal, voice ringing hoarsely in your throat. your cunt spills honey molasses and sweet nectar against your ravaged sexes, juices intertwining with the small pink tufts of yuuji’s happy trail as his bright red tip bears down harshly on your gummy g-spot — providing him with the lube he needs to make love to you properly. “baby…i c-can’t!” 

just as you moan out again, legs squeezing around your boyfriend’s slender waist — yuuji’s blushing face ducks into your neck, making quick work of marking up your skin…because if he looks at your face, the way your brows crease softly and your lips part in a gentle ‘o’, and sees the way it twists with mounting pleasure. he won’t be able to hold off for much longer, he’ll lose his mind and fuck you too hard for either of you to cope. he knows that you can take it, manage to take all of his seed and all of his love — but if yuuji snaps, he’ll be pounding into you until he’s shooting blanks. 

with your hands traversing upwards into yuuji’s sea of pink curls and over his smooth undercut, he reacts with his golden eyes rolling back into the dark depths of his skull — temporarily locking away your sunlight that brings warmth to your dorm. a familiar heat prickles underneath the surface of your skin like a thousand tiny needles as you pant out your words, pleading with bambi as you look up at yuuji. “i want your cum, yuuji, i want you to…hah… fill me up ‘n get me pregnant…” there’s a feeling painfully seated above your abdomen, a burning sensation of mounting pleasure like a wound desperate to be licked and soothed by itadori.

by grinding up against him, sticky clit smearing over his tense stomach and golden abs, you think that you might garner some relief — but you only feel teased and taunted when the jock pulls his cock from the snugness of your tight head to slap his milky cockhead against your pulsing mound proudly.

“don’t say it like that, fuck, baby,” yuuji all but groans, lashes fluttering at the slick sound your cunt makes with each love tap. beads of his precum ooze over you in another form of claim, glazing you in yuuji’s scent and taste. some of it even drips from your abused hole as it clenches around nothing, desperate to be filled by all that your boyfriend has to offer. “there’s so much… s’leaking out of you. gonna have to keep you on my dick always, give you all my babies.” the rose haired man can’t even hear himself speak, not over the sound of blood rushing through his ears — carrying sex crazed hormones. certainly not over your sweet sighs that form a melody with the pap, pap, pap of your pussy as he slowly sinks back into you — building up a steady rhythm to his thrusts, like an ocean’s regular tide.

yuuji can’t stop rambling, saying whatever lustful thought sits at the forefront of his mind. having you splayed out beneath him like this, your nipples pert against his firm chest and your breasts bouncing with every forceful lunge of his hips forward — it drives him up a wall. “gonna look so pretty ‘n round when you’re full of me. i’ll put a ring on it, make you my pretty wife — holy fuck, you’re squeezing me so tight. you like it when i talk to you like that, huh?” the thick vein on the underside of his shaft presses deliciously up against pleasure spots that only yuuji knows about, never leaving you unsatisfied, not even for a moment as his body rocks passionately into yours.

tanned skin and hard muscle feel slippery underneath your trembling hands. you don’t know what to hold onto, don’t know how to ground yourself when you feel this good and yuuji’s cock skilfully dives into your sopping heat — promises of the future, a wedding and family hand in the humid air buzzing between you both but is best said by the way itadori’s body dsnces with your own, his arousal soaked signature lining your rippling walls.   

“need that so bad, yuuji! need you so bad… please fill me up, i want it inside.” you hiccup and demand, hardly able to speak through it all. the bed moans and groans just like you do, every time itadori’s dick pumps in and pulls out of your dripping, greedy hole — coated in a layer of foamy white. using your elbows as leverage, you work your hips down to meet yuuji in a slick and sensual dance, clenching at every inch of him that assails your insides until delight crackles over your hazy brain.  

“god, baby please…if you keep talking like that i’m gonna—“ yuuji whines from deep within his chest, the sound resonating through you and shooting straight down to your creamy cunt that clamps down on him, pulling little droplets of precum from his sensitive tip. 

your next words have the jock pounding into you with new vigour, desperate to give you everything that you want. “d-don’t pull out, yuuji. inside.” 

“ahh, okay,” he whimpers as his voice rises in pitch, brown eyes stinging with tears. his golden arms flex as they lift you by the apex of your thighs — dragging you back onto his cock and it’s unforgiving pace. itadori presses his forehead to yours, caramel eyes shining with tears that gleam in the afternoon sunlight breaking through the curtains of your dorm.  “okay, okay fuck. okay, oh god — h-honey, i’m…fuck! i-im cumming!” he stumbles over his every word, the pink haired jock’s entire world shattering into smaller glass fragments as he finally hits his peak. thick waves of white flood your womb, hot and viscous and lighting you up from the inside out. it coats your swollen pussy lips in an opaque layer that smears along your inner thighs, pouring endlessly from yuuji’s fat cock and breeder’s balls.

effectively breeding you. 

still humping at you relentlessly and not daring to leave you far behind, yuuji tacks two of his fingers to your clit and caresses it in smooth circles, searing his name into you forever. he never lets up, fucking his cum into your womb with languid thrusts — bulbous and mushroomed cockhead spurting his hot seet against your g-spot as it grazes the epicentre of your pleasure over and over again. yuuji holds you in his arms while your vision clears, replaced by only blinding flashes of white and accompanied by an empty scream rattling around in your throat. your arousal spurts out of you in generous and clear streams, nearly forcing yuuji’s cock from your tight, rippling walls — painting both you and him in your juices. 

your boyfriend can barely hold himself above you as you both finally come down, flopping onto you and trapping you against the sex soiled matress for cuddles. 

“we can’t have babies, yuuji,” you laugh happily, letting out a puff of air from deep within your chest once you’re finally able to catch your breath. “not right now, we’re too young and we’re still in college!”

“well duh, not right now…” he muses, kissing your jaw and your neck and every part of you that he’s marked up and bruised. “but like afterwards…yanno? a few years down the line when we both have jobs. i’m gonna be pro and you’ll be a sexy career woman. ‘n i’ll make so much money that you can take all the time off you want. make sure you’re nice and taken care of and—“ 

giggling, the sweet melodies of your laughter cut through your boyfriend’s wistful rambling. 

“what’s so funny?” 

“it’s just…you’ve really got this all planned out, huh?” you reach a hand up to cup itadori’s sweaty cheek, brushing a thumb over the rough scarring at the corner of his mouth. he leans into you, much like a cat seeking physical touch, and you scratch just under his chin. “you want to be with me for that long?” 

“i mean…yeah. i want you for the rest of my life. i thought that was obvious,” yuuji manages to say while you squish his cheeks and play about with his face, sounding a little dejected. “don’t you? … don’t you want that with me?” 

your smile drops as you shift to your elbows, immediately dead set on reassuring your usually confident boyfriend. “of course i want that with gou. i want everything with you, it’s just that…” you chew on your words, push them around the cavern of your mouth as it dries with nervousness. “it’s just that… i’m still so different to you, i’m still not…conventional by any means. so i just thought… by the time college was over you’d—“ 

“i’d get bored of you?” 

yuuji looks almost offended, his pink and kiss-swollen lips pushed forward into a pout and his dark brows drawn together in the centre of his forehead. falling back onto the sheets, one of his hands sink into the pillow supporting your head as you lay flat on your back — you feel it tremble with an emotion you can’t quite place on his face. is it anger? hurt? annoyance? either way, your heart hammers in your chest and crawls it’s way up your throat. you feel nauseous at the prospect of even upsetting yuuji — especially after the loving sex you’ve just had. 

a croak in your throat replaces your sweet voice, you’re not sure if it’s because of how you’d been previously screaming your boyfriend’s name or because of how nervous you’ve suddenly become. “y-yeah,” you say slowly. “that.” 

“how could you even think that?” yuuji breathes steadily, the corner of his mouth twitching into a frown but you can’t bare to look at him any longer — casting your gaze to the side. 

shaking your head, you blink back tears you hadn’t even known were there. “i don’t… i don’t know. forget it, pretend i never said anything.” 

itadori bends at the neck to reach you,  tutting into the air as it cools down and loses its feverish taste for lust. his nose bumps yours, the pair of them becoming neighbours while his breath coasts across your face almost comfortingly. 

“when i say i want you, i mean it. forever,”  he confesses, like a reflex, like the natural reflex that his brain has to make his heart beat. “i want you to be my wife after all this. you’re not just some college fling to me. i want to buy you a house, a big ring, keep you comfortable for the rest of my life. i decided on that when i first met you,” a calloused finger and thumb tilt your chin to the perfect angle, making you look at him, your gaze falling into a mahogany one belonging only to your doting partner. “i don't care how long it takes to prove this to you… but you’re the love of my life, so have a little faith in me. okay?”

yuuji takes your hand in his, placing your palm on the left side of his chest where the muscle keeping him alive races for you. the only girl in the room. the only girl in his worlds. his dog tags jingle at the movement but his eyes on you remain unwavering and so full of commitment. you’d be stupid not to believe him now.

“okay,” you affirm sweetly, tilting your head a little further in a silent ask. you want a kiss. “i love you, yuuji.” 

“and i love you right back,” he mumbles against your lips without skipping a beat, slotting your mouths together perfectly in a gentle chaste kiss. “now baby, please stop asking me to cum inside, you know i can’t help it and we can’t have babies just yet,” yuuji whines and collapses on top of you with a huff. 

“you’re the one who said you wanted to give me babies!” 

“and you’re the one who keeps feeding into my breeding kink, let’s not get it twisted here!”

and all throughout your playful bickering, yuuji stays nestled deep inside of you — keeping you plugged full. of both his cum and his love.  

꒰ end. — all rights reserved © tteokdoroki 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

[toxicanonymity]

raider masterlist

dark!Joel x f!reader | updated: August 29, 2024: calling him daddy

moodboard by @milla-frenchy 🖤 a rb will not stay up-to-date.

SUMMARY: He's a bad guy, and you're his good girl. Joel saves you from bad men, but claims you for himself. His persona starts to crack, but he gets even more possessive. You're his world, and he'll do anything to keep you. Emotional slow burn but smut the whole time. WARNINGS: 18+ canon-typical violence, noncon via implicit threat, evolving to enthusiastic dubious consent (stockholm syndrome), depraved use of praise and pet names (sweet pea, baby), unsafe P in V, exhibitionism, extreme possessiveness, dark fluff (🖤), angst, and more. NO USE of Y/N, No physical description of reader.

Spotify: raider, sweet pea (smut) Optional reference: trailer floor plan

Carter masterlist

main story

Note, non-bold links in this section were written out of order and may contain spoilers or references to future events. their placement in this list is based on timeline.

Raider: (Mar 24, 2023) - He "saves" you, then has his way with you but is kinda sweet about it. Joel POV (Oct 3, 1k)

Failed Rescue (Apr 8 - 1.9k) Your bf tries to save you. Joel makes him watch then keeps you.

Stash House (Apr 11 - 850)- Joel takes you to the stash house and shows everyone you're his. Wash Bin 🖤 (Aug 27, 1k) Shooting Practice Drabble(Jul 28, 1.6k)

Failed Escape (Apr 23, 4k)- Joel saves you from FEDRA, bathes you, amd edges you.

J. Miller (May 19, 2k) - Joel labels you with his switchblade and claims all your holes. dark. Can be skipped.

Home (May 29, 1.3k) - Joel makes dinner at home, cleans your chest, and tucks you in. 🖤

Company (Jun 9, 2.2k) - Joel brings home a girl to distract his men. dark. Extra Scene - angst.

Close (Jul 3, 2.7k) - close call with other raiders. You-almost-died sex, and later, tender sex 🖤

Gun Hug (Jul 31, 3.7k) - Joel traps 2 bad guys with some help and kills them while you. . .🖤 If you want him (1.5k) - he holds out to see🖤

Night Air (Aug 30, 3.5k) - Joel is brutal with a bad guy and his POV reveals some feelings. 🖤 Bonus blurb, wakeup pwp drabble

Hunger (Sep 29, 7k) - Joel takes you on a trek, comforts you, kills a guy, and gives you head. 🖤 He's only human (1.1k) - 👱‍♂️Carter POV, overlaps w/ hunger.

Bodies (Dec 3, 7.8k) - Strangers show up and cause a shitstorm, but Joel takes a big step. 🖤 Raider POV

No cliffhangers. Bulletin from Tox

more (drabbles, etc)

🔥 smut

Trying to use him (800) (riding) 🔥

House meeting drabble 🖤

You get sick at night drabble 🖤

He goes down on you (oral f) 🔥

If you touched his scar

if men had hurt you in the past

if you got your period 🖤

magazine and makeup 🖤

yoga pwp drabble piv 1k 🔥

boots drabble (oral f receiving) 🔥

graveyard blurb (spice)

if you bit his arm drabble (p in v) 🔥

If you snapped (emotional spice) 🖤

face sitting on sofa 🔥

being bad, looking good (2.8k, smut) 🔥

Van ride drabble (800) 🖤

sleeping beast (<1k), PWP 🔥

If Joel was sick 🖤

If you were annoying

cutting his hair 🖤

waking up on top 🔥

tired 🖤

waking up on top again 🔥

Sweet pea overhears Joel 🔥

Choking on his dick (600) 🔥

his birthday 🥺

if she called him daddy 🔥

Note: not all content is linked. Asks can lead to lore, snippets, and previews or hints of future plot points, etc. which are not added here.

Headcanons (not written like fic)

If another man has his way (Q&A)

dacryphilia - evolved update (Q&A)

if you had scars or tattoos (Q&A)

👱‍♂️raider carter Qs, face claim (Q&A)

sweet pea by herself

If you sketched Joel and Jack

Apple picking 🖤

Responding to a Nightmare

accidentally hurting her

Analysis (#raider!analysis)

why does he keep her

why did he snap (in Company extra scene)

his eye contact

his affection / feelings, trajectory 🖤

falling for sweet pea

his self hate and her feelings

the dog and joel's concern for you

awareness of growth / why keep her

Raider Tommy

Birds of prey (2.6k)

Art, etc.

Mattress by esquire magazine

Stitches by @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

collage by @milla-frenchy

lose control edit by @survivingandenduring

🌸 sweet pea mood boards by various

6 month collage by milla-frenchy

6 month cake by not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

🌸 sweet pea cosplay from night air

👱‍♂️carter mood board by @romana-after-dark

pts. 1-3 rb mood boards by @iamasaddie

night air gif by not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

raider/sweet pea collage by milla

sweet pea's pup by @dark-scape

want it that bad gif by @dark-scape

Bodies gif by not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

👱‍♂️carter mood board by milla-frenchy

Then and now drawing by @romana-after-dark

Raider/sweet pea drawings by @lumoverheaven

our stars moodboard by milla

raiding edits by gasolinerainbowpuddles

under the anger by iamasaddie

🎥 Trailer (video) by @carminepoison

birthday sketch by @lumoverheaven

In love w raider by @milla-frenchy

✨ checks that you're ok 🐺 by milla

If I've left yours off please lmk I prob tagged improperly

Back to Joel Masterlist

Fic recs: other raiders

🖤 If mine or another writer's work has inspired yours, it's always better late than never to share / shout-out 🖤

[saiyanprincessswanie]

Mine - Part 4

Pairing: Soft!Dark Steve Rogers x Female Reader

Word Count: 2643

Summary: Steve and Reader struggle with whether they can trust one another or not. Both have feelings but is it enough to forgive and start over? Will they be able to have the future they each dream of?

Series Warning: NON/DUB CON, Swearing, Angst, Possessive Behavior, Jealousy, Kidnapping, Male Masturbation, Somnophilia, Drugging, Light Bondage, Physical Fighting, Rough Sex, Choking, Female and Male Oral, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Forced Orgasms, Spanking

Please READ the Warnings!! These will be touched on throughout the series.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait with this fic. I just have recently been able to type again after my right shoulder surgery.

A/N 2: This chapter isn’t as dark as the other ones.

Moodboard by @fictional-affairs

Thank you to my beta readers @lfnr-blog-blog-blog & @pigwidgeonxo

Reblogs & Comments on Tumblr are welcomed and encouraged. Even if you leave an emoji you will make my day. 😊💜

I do NOT give my consent to have my work translated or reposted on any social media platform, apps, or third-party sites. If you see my work anywhere besides my personal Tumblr & AO3 accounts, it has been stolen. I will NEVER give written or verbal permission to repost or translate any of my fanfics as they’re MY intellectual property. 🚫 🚫

Time seemed to go by slowly as you sat in the bedroom window watching as Steve finished chopping up logs for the fireplace. A faint sound of thunder echoes throughout the room and little goosebumps rise on your skin. You snuggle into your hoodie to chase away a storm that is brewing not just outside but within you as well. Steve grabs a bunch of logs and starts heading to the house. Light rain falls from the sky covering the ground below. You hear the door open and close downstairs followed by him walking around. 

The storm seems to pick up as the wind blows through the trees. You hear footsteps coming up the stairs and your hands start to fidget in your lap. Will he be in a good mood today? Your heart is beating faster and faster the closer his footsteps reach the door. Suddenly a key unlocks the door and you hold your breath. Which Steve will greet you today? The door creaks open and you sit as still as you can. 

“Doll? I got a fire going in the fireplace and soup simmering on the stove. Why don’t you come join me?” His words held no authority in it but a simple request. 

You slowly stand up and turn to face him, walking over to where he stood in the doorway. Your eyes glanced over him as he stood before you in a flannel shirt, jeans, and boots. He gives you his million-dollar smile and pulls you in for a hug. Closing your eyes you let him envelop you in his arms. Your arms wrap around his body and you just give in. A minute later he is taking your hand and walking you down the stairs. 

The warmth from the fire hits you as soon as you descend the stairs. The smell of wood burning and soup filled the air as you took a deep breath in. Gosh if this was only a different time and place you would swear you were home. 

Steve leads you over to the table and pulls your chair out for you. You offer a shy smile and thank him. Steve kisses the top of your head and walks the short distance to the kitchen where he can still see you. 

Your eyes scan the dining room and kitchen. Steve was right, this is how you wanted your future house to look like. It’s as if he took all the ideas from your head and made it a reality. Everything in here was perfect except the man you once loved was a kidnapping, psychopath who had ripped away any trust you had in him. Tears lightly poured from your eyes and before you could do anything Steve was wiping them away. 

You hadn’t noticed that he brought the soup over to the table. Instead, he kneels next to you and continues to wipe them away gently as he takes in your shaking body.

“Doll, what’s wrong? You know you can speak to me about anything, right?” His voice is laced with concern and his deep blue eyes stare at you taking everything in. 

You shake your head as you continue to cry. What if you shared the truth about everything with him? Would he still carry out this twisted plan?

“Steve I can’t, I won’t share my thoughts cause you will just be mad at me. I don’t want to be humiliated again with your punishments. Let’s just eat and forget about it, okay?” 

Steve just stared at you. He knew something was weighing on you but did he want the truth? What if it was about leaving could he keep his composure? He shook his head knowing that this was tearing you apart inside and being this nervous around him wasn’t healthy.

“Please, doll, I promise I won’t be upset with you. Just tell me the truth.” His hand caresses your cheek. “I swear I won’t punish you for being honest with me. All I want in this world is for you to be happy with me.”

Your gaze drops to your lap where your hands are and you take a deep breath trying to calm yourself. You look back up into his blue eyes and decide it is now or never.

“It’s not that easy Steve to tell you this. There is no question that before all of this, I loved you from the moment I met you. Your smile drew me in and I knew I was yours forever. At that time you would flirt but always held back with me like you were searching for something else or maybe someone else. That was until recently and your emotions shifted so quickly that I felt overwhelmed but excited that you finally wanted me. But that’s a lie 'cause you just want to breed me.”

Steve’s breath hitched and he was about to retort before you cut him off.

“That night we made love, I finally felt like my dreams were coming true and that maybe you had loved me all along. But that’s not the case. You said it yourself last night you want me to listen to you and not question anything you say. But how can I not question your behavior? You’re mean, and controlling and you have a device on me to keep my super soldier serum from working. You talked about how I broke your trust, have you ever considered that you shattered my trust with you? The love I once had for you is slowly falling apart and I don’t think I could ever love you under these circumstances.”

Steve listened as you poured your heart out. A part of him wanted to be angry about what you’re saying, while another part of him couldn’t believe that you were once in love with him. Once? Steve shook his head, maybe he was going about this in the wrong way. He never liked bullies and from what she is saying he sounded just like one.

“Steve trust goes both ways. If you want me to earn yours then you must earn mine as well. This dominant thing you’re doing over me won’t work if you want true love and a family one day. I’m pleading with you to stop this madness and let’s work on us before my love goes out like a flame never to be lit again.”

He takes a breath in and out trying to contain himself. Yes, he could see what she was saying about him. Steve did want her to make a family with but it was more than that. Little did she know he loved her the same, from the very beginning. He didn’t think for an instance that Tony would match them together in a million years, that’s why it never went beyond flirting. Steve took her hands in his and decided he needed to be honest.

“Look doll, I have loved you from the day we met. I never thought I would ever have a future with you. Not until Tony said we matched. I was so focused on finding the right woman who could have my children that I got blinded along the way. I’ve never wanted to hurt you nor do I plan on it. I just want a chance at us. For what could be? But it’s hard to trust your intentions after you tried to run away from me. How can I know if what you’re saying is the truth?” His eyes pleaded to hers as he searched her face for answers.

There is no way he loved her for that long. But, what if he is telling the truth? She closed her eyes and thought back to the beginning. Their awkward conversations, the silly jokes, him always complimenting her, the soft touches when no one looked and then it clicked. Her eyes opened wide and a tear fell from them again.

“I’m sorry I tried to run away but I was scared. I didn’t know what you wanted to do with me. You can believe this to be the truth. With how messed up this situation is I don’t want to be away from you. Look if we both try, maybe we can work towards trusting one another again. What do you say?”

Steve gave you that smile you always loved. He leaned in and gave you a soft kiss on your lips. “Let’s try again and work towards trusting one another. I promise to not harm you or take you against your will again. But know this, if you are lying to me you will know my wrath, and trust me when I say you haven’t seen the mean side of me yet.”

The last sentence sent chills through your body. By the way, he was looking at you, you swore there was something evil brewing. You kept telling yourself to relax and everything would be okay. If you did decide to run, the time had to be right. For now, your feelings were telling you to try things with Steve. What’s the worst that could happen?

The next morning you woke up to Steve cuddling you close and your legs tangled together. You had gone to bed in just his t-shirt and he slept naked.  The rain had ended overnight and the sun was rising in the sky. You reflected on last night after you spoke your truth. Steve let you sit by the fireplace and read a book instead of locking you in the bedroom. It was a nice moment between the two of you when he sat on the other end of the couch with your legs in his lap. 

Before bed, Steve had told you that tomorrow you both were going to try to start over again. That he would follow your lead on this while he learns to trust you again.

You smile to yourself as you soak up all the cuddles from him and let out a sigh of contempt. Just as you wiggle your butt from excitement you hear a groan behind you.

“Keep that up and I’m going to fill that pretty pussy.”

A giggle escaped your lips. “So what if I want you to?”

Steve’s eyes opened at that comment and he had a grin on his face. “Is that so?” He questioned. 

When you wiggled again Steve quickly rolled you onto your back and parted your legs so he could now lay in between them. Steve pushed his shirt up and pulled it off quickly. He rubbed his cock against your already wet pussy. You couldn’t help but be excited cause you knew how well Steve was between the sheets. Steve’s cock started to get covered in your arousal and the tip of his cock kept nudging your entrance until finally, he slid home. 

Both of you let out a groan once he was fully inside you. You wrap your legs around his waist and your hands claw at his back when he starts moving with hard thrusts. Your nails rake down his back with every thrust of his hips. Steve is on his forearms so he can kiss and swallow your moans. With every thrust, you moan and gasp in pleasure. He keeps a steady, hard pace and you end up squealing in pleasure as he hits a certain spot inside you that has you seeing stars. With every thrust, you’re getting closer and closer to your impending orgasm. Steve quickly scoops your legs up with both arms and pushes your legs to your chest deepening his thrusts. 

Your fingernails scrape down his arms as you try to find a way to ground yourself from the pleasure he is giving you. Steve keeps thrusting into you harder and harder while he starts to play with your clit. It brings your orgasm to a peak as you scream his name into the abyss. Your pussy clenches down on his cock as he continues to plow into you. Once you come down from your high Steve pulls out of you and flips you over to your stomach. Pulling you to your knees he sinks back into your velvety walls and fucks you hard and fast as his fingers dig into your hips. 

This is everything Steve has wanted from you. You're being submissive to him whether you realize it or not. Your head is on the bed, fists clenched into the sheets while you moan out incoherent words. He desperately wants to fill you up and breed you. He knows having a baby will link you two forever and the time to start that family is now. 

The faster Steve is pounding into you the closer he is getting to his high but lord he needs you to cum one more time. His left-hand leaves your hip and his fingers move down to circle your clit again. All it takes is a few swipes and you're screaming his name to the heavens above. Your cunt grasps his cock and milks him dry as Steve cums deep inside you. His groans fill the air as he gives a couple more sloppy thrusts into you. Steve looks down on your spent form and leans over your back to kiss your shoulder. 

Once he pulls out of you he goes to the bathroom to clean himself up before he returns to you with a washcloth. Gently he cleans you up and throws the washcloth in the laundry hamper. You’re completely exhausted and feel like you can barely move. If you had your super soldier serum running through your veins instead of suppressed you could have kept up with him, no problem. Now your body could just roll over to your back and look up at him. 

He was smiling down at you looking like a man who just finished a successful mission. You lifted your arms a little to show him you wanted a hug. Steve lay next to you and brought you in for a hug. He held you close to his chest as you snuggled into him. Your cheek rubbed against his chest hair as you enjoyed this feeling of euphoria. 

Maybe things could work out between you both and you could have a happy ending? It just depends on how Steve decides to treat you, like an object or someone to be loved unconditionally. You both promised to start over and this was the best way to show each other how much you loved one another. Hopefully, he will begin to trust you over time and maybe get your super soldier serum flowing through your veins again. I mean it’s not like he wants you like a regular woman, right? There is always going to be that adventurous side of you and you’re going to want a normal life that isn’t just sex. Though you had to admit this is the best sex you’ve had in your life. It’s everything you dreamed of minus the kidnapping part. 

Steve kisses you on the forehead and groans as he stretches. “Why don’t we get in the shower and I will cook breakfast for you? I’m sure you’re hungry. What does my lovely doll want to eat?”

You smile up at him and answer, “Well I do have a craving for pancakes and you sure do make the best ones.”

Chuckling, Steve nods his head. “I can do that for you, doll.”

Steve rolls out of bed and pulls you to your feet. As you walk to the bathroom Steve slaps your butt playfully. “Though first, I think I need another round of you in the shower.”

You squeal in delight as you head to the bathroom. Maybe this could work, you think to yourself as the hot water sprays down on both of you. Today is a brand new day to figure out whatever it is between the two of you. 

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[empress-simps]

A Gryffindor's Grief

Pairing: James Potter x Fem! Slytherin! Reader

CW: Reader's family and language

Genre: Angst

Masterlist

Note: My first ever marauders fic! Kinda nervous to post this ngl… I'm still thinking if I should make a second part. I want to hear what you guys think about this! Requests are open! Photos used are from Pinterest! Credits to the owner!

It was forbidden love, really.

Those little moments of not-so-accidental touches, stealing glances, and discreet smiles sent each other's way were your means of communicating with each other.

James Fleamont Potter, a Gryffindor boy that was absolutely smitten with You; Slytherin's Princess.

An odd combination that would only lead to chaos.

Being one of the sacred twenty-eight wizarding families meant that you command power and respect from everyone you meet— intentionally or unintentionally. The idea about blood purity, power, and influence was already in your mind as soon as you were able to grasp things your toddler brain could handle.

You were taught to only mingle with pure-blood families, people who could be useful and loyal to you, and those with power, influence, and wealth. Your family’s distaste for muggles and muggleborns were also ingrained into your mind, as if they programmed you to believe what they believed in. It wasn’t that hard, after all you were surrounded by rich witches and wizards who are blood supremacists.

For someone who grew up with those ideals and values, you thought it was right. Although, your belief came tumbling down the longer you spend time at Hogwarts and got to know James Potter and the rest of the Marauders.

James, he made you feel alive.

It felt as if he was the breath of fresh air that you never knew you needed. Away from that suffocating Malfoy Manor, the scrutinizing gazes of your family, and away from rich pure blood problems. Being with him felt exhilarating, he was the buzz in your life. James brought so much joy into your dark, lavish, and empty lifestyle.

It was quite funny, picturing him as your knight in shining armor, whisking you away from your pretty, gold cage.

"Malfoy!" Evan Rosier, a pure-blooded Slytherin raised his hand in your direction, motioning you to come over and sit beside him during breakfast in the great hall. Cold eyes like Lucius Malfoy's travelled in his direction, a questioning brow raised.

"Rosier, you are being too loud." She commented, walking, and sitting next to him before greeting the person beside him, Regulus Black.

"Good morning, Regulus."

"Good morning, Y/n."

Barty Crouch Jr. looked up from his meal and snickered at the both of you. "Good morning, Mum and Dad." He teased, greeting you both as Evan laughed along with the other Slytherins near them. Heck even Severus has a small smirk planted on his face. "If you wish to make your family line extinct, then please feel free to continue with your remarks, Crouch."

He smirked, putting his hands up in mock surrender "Just kidding, Y/n. Geez. Rough summer, I suppose?"

You felt your lips press into a thin line, an obvious answer to the question; It was horrendous.

Evan’s laughter slowly dies, he shakes his head, “Give her a break mate, she just got the biggest news of her life during summer. Isn’t that right Y/n-“

“Shut your mouth Rosier if you do not want to be hexed into next month.” Her empty threat really doesn’t do damage to Evan, he just shrugged, taking it as a warning that you’re not in the mood for jokes.

Your father, Abraxas Malfoy and older brother, Lucius Malfoy made a huge decision for your future. Hearing rumors here and there about their Slytherin Princess being romantically involved with a blood traitor in Gryffindor enraged your father, Abraxas. That will certainly not do, they will not sit idly and watch as the Malfoy name be... tainted with those rumors.

You remember how you felt dread entering your system, fighting the urge to run and throw up as you mustered up a façade, “Those are just baseless rumors, a plot to ruin my image in school." You held your head high, praying they do not see the truth.

Abraxas stared at you, his daughter, with a monotone expression. "Your brother and I do not care whether those ridiculous rumors are true or not." Lucius nods, agreeing. What a lie. You know your family well enough to not believe what comes out of their mouths in situations like this.

"We do not care if you had relations with the boy, even though it is rumored that he is a blood traitor, you knew well enough not to fool around with mudbloods. Well done, Y/n. Perhaps you could change his views, get him to join our cause.” Lucius looked at you. You could press your lips into a thin line, trying to find an answer.

 “That tactless boy's role is to only be a bed warmer for you, remember that Y/n." Your father stood from the chair he sat in the drawing room. Slowly walking towards you. “Although, I suppose it ends now. I heard Lady Walburga Black is looking for a potential bride to their heir, Regulus Black.”

After a week, it was official; You are to be wedded to Regulus Black, your friend, Sirius’ brother.

You could not do anything about the arrangement, what fight would you have put up? A young girl like you, who does not have any power, influence, and wealth could only suck it up and accept.

How you wish it was James you were betrothed to.

“James, you came.” You breathed out, seeing him take off the invisibility cloak. The moonlight in the astronomy tower complimented his features, he offered a small smile sitting beside you.

The stakes were high, you were sure underlings of your brother (and possibly father) in the school have their eyes trained to you as you enter another year in Hogwarts. You would need to find new ways to meet up with your lover. Regulus’ eyes discreetly looked towards James, who is undeniably looking at you.

“Wouldn’t want for my girl to be alone, you know?”

He joked, intertwining his finger with you, a second nature to the both of you. Squeezing his hand, you softly looked at him. “I missed you, pothead.” He leaned towards your face, kissing you on the forehead. One of the things he does that never fails to make you feel flustered. “I missed you too, love.” You rolled her eyes, slightly shoving him playfully, “Stop being sappy, Pothead.”

“You secretly like it, love. You can’t lie to me.” He grinned, although the last sentence made you tense up. James shot you a concerned look, noticing your body language. “Something wrong, love?” You were torn, deciding on whether you tell him about the engagement rather than keeping quiet and leaving him in the dark about your current situation.

“I got engaged.” Before you could even stop yourself, the words flew out of your mouth. Shit. It wasn’t how she planned to tell him. The light atmosphere suddenly became dark and heavy. You can feel James turn rigid, freezing up as he muttered. “So, it was true, huh?” He scoffed bitterly, hurt overtaking his features. “James…” You gently called, carefully placing a hand on his shoulder. He flinched, turning his body away from you.

She tried to ignore the hurt she felt, pushing it down as she understood why James was acting this way.  “Sirius told me.” He choked out, still not looking at you. James really does know you well, answering the question you haven’t even voiced out yet. The slight tremble in his voice made your heart crack. You bit your lip, of course Sirius found out; he was still a Black after all.

“I love you, James. I really do.”

You spoke to him, you raised your hand, about to put a hand on his back that was still facing you but deciding against it before it touched him. Your hands faltering before dropping down to your sides. He shakes his head violently, his curly locks getting messier than they already were.

“Don’t… Don’t say it like that, love.” He pleaded, slowly turning to face you again, eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Don’t say it like you’re about to leave me. This. Us.” He croaked; you felt his large hands placed on top of yours. He brought it up to his lips, kissing the knuckles.

“James…” You managed to utter out, voice getting caught at the throat.

James knew he was acting like a child, but damn- he never thought it could hurt this much. He pictured both of you marrying each other, living in a large house with a big backyard because he insisted it will be great for when you have kids. Merlin, he even imagined about 3 or 4 kids looking like the perfect mix of you both, running out and about with their names already carefully thought out.

out. He daydreamed that the both of you grow old, watching you tell stories to your grandkids about their grandfather’s mischief during your years at Hogwarts.

“I have to, James.” She chokes out, tears spilling onto her cheeks. Those four little words made James’ little bubble of happiness burst with just a bat of an eye.

“Don’t… don’t do this to me, love.” He pleaded; he even went down onto his knees as he saw you standing up from your place beside him. Poor James, luckily it was only you, the moon, and the walls of the Astronomy Tower watched him become a wreck.

“I love you, please remember that you will always have my heart, James. I wish you find happiness.” The part ‘without me’ was unsaid but was heard. It took a lot of courage, strength, and self-control not to fall apart. Deep down, you wanted James to say the same to you, proclaiming his love again for the last time you’ll be together.

“I love you Y/n, so much. No one will ever make me feel the way you did. I’ll find a way; a way for us to be happy together. I swear on my life.” He promised, looking at you straight in the eye. You could only close your eyes before smiling at him, trying to blink the tears away. Stars, you hoped James really does find a way.

“Goodbye, Potter.” She turns, walking away.

Maybe Slytherins and Gryffindors really aren’t meant to be together.

[fourmoony]

Hi! I don’t know if you’re taking requests right now but your writing is so beautiful and genuinely so captivating!

I was hoping for a possible angst / fluff kinda fic! With Remus x reader

Starting off how the two met in school and how they became friends so fast + the rest of the group…going onto how the two began dating in their 3-4th year at school…onto when they left school into a proposal and marriage.

Then when the war begins again is when the angst slips in..maybe how Remus finds reader under some rocks or even them protecting Remus..for them both to be together at the end with their hands holding and it’s all angsty!

If this isn’t your cup of tea that totally okay! <33

Hi lovely!! Thank you so much for requesting!!

this is heavy on the angst, little on the fluff, hope that's okay!!

remus lupin x reader | masterlist - 1.9k words

from the vaults, since writing gives me the heebies rn

cw - death

Remus remembers the day he met you; your pristine, fresh pressed Hogwarts robes, and your swotty attitude, charging down the Express like a tyrant, wielding confidence he sorely lacked. You'd been on the hunt for whoever set off the stink bomb just outside the carriage you were in (it was James, showing off to Sirius, their friendship quickly and surely bonded together with the residual smoke of that foul little rock). Remus remembers you, often, that way. Always ready to take responsibility - or force it onto others, for their actions - and do what you believed to be right.

He knew in that exact moment, with the soundtrack of James and Sirius' hysterical laughter, the smell of pure, unbridled dung lingering in the air, that you were the bravest person he'd ever known, that when the sorting hat was sat atop your head mere hours later, there'd be no pause, no debate, you were Gryffindor through and through.

The only thing Remus hadn't accounted for, was that he, too would be placed in Gryffindor - with his nauseous stomach, shaking hands, and scars that made him feel small, rodent like, a glint of gold in the window that catches the eye long enough to peak interest, but amounts to nothing worthy of attention; rather, disgust.

Remus still sees a lot of that up-tight, bossy attitude in you, now. But more than anything, your bravery prevails. The war has taken a lot from you, from everyone he holds dearest. The first time, it was hard. Bearable, because James and Lily were alive, because Sirius wasn't locked up and losing his mind in Azkaban. There was hope, because they had Harry, and nothing was going to happen to any of them because everyone had to live to see Harry grow up.

Fools. The lot of them had been fools, he realises. This time, it's different, harder. There are no friends, no family left. It's you, and it's Remus. It breaks Remus' old, cobwebbed heart to see everything that has been taken from you both. The innocence, the joy. All that's left of you, these days, is bravery. Bravery that shines so bright, like a leading light, bravery that holds him together on the bad days, bravery that pulls sad, scared Remus out of his cocoon of dread and fear, forces him into the light. You've always been good at that - at love, at protecting the people whom you love.

It's what you do. They hadn't known it at the time - and really, how could they have? - but James and Sirius set off a stink bomb outside the carriage of a young muggle-born girl, terrified of her new school, her future, what this change would do to her. The stink bomb went off and Mary MacDonald had dissolved into hysterical tears. From the moment you came into Remus' life, you've been a protector. Your heart is your leading light, your entire being, a soul so pure it'd make angels weep.

He shouldn't be surprised. Really. The minute it the south wall of the castle blows up, Remus should know the lengths you'll go to. The things you will do to make sure the people you love are safe.

There's dust and rubble everywhere, clouding his vision, choking him until he can't breathe, and in the minute before the wall crumbles around you, your body taking ninety percent of the blast, hands fast in pushing Remus so hard he has no choice but to stumble back, away, in a daze, he sees your eyes. They're calm. So calm it's unnerving. He knows everything that people will say you never got the chance to tell him. He's known since he was sixteen everything you feel for him, the love, the gratitude, the admiration.

You've had a life together. Not all of it has been good - war and death, losses and pain so unimaginable Remus wonders how either of you ever got through it. But the quiet moments, the happy moments, not marred by battle, or grave stones, weeping, or bone crushing sorrow. The moments where all that mattered was both of you, the love, the happiness; the joy Remus felt with you is nothing he ever thought he'd get to experience, would ever deserve.

He knows. He knows you love him, he knows you're okay with the choice you've just made. But he's surprised.

In all the years you've spent together - all the funerals you've attended together, planned together - he always thought that when the time came, you'd both go together. Asleep, old and decrepit. Something peaceful, after the life you'd shared.

But the blood is still thrumming in his veins, the cogs in his brains till whirring as he stares at the pile of rubble that's fallen around you. He thinks, rather foolishly, and only for a second, that you may have survived. He thinks your sheer will and determination could still be pulsing in your heart, the bravery you wear so honestly wrapped around you like a coat of armour. But the bond that ties you to him, the mating bond, the marriage bond - Remus has never known which is which, it's all an overwhelming amount of love, to him - pulls taught. It snaps, like wisps of smoke between you, and Remus breaks with it.

He breaks so fast and so hard that the world crumbles around him and he loses track of where he is, what he's fighting for. It comes out of nowhere, a flash of light, of bright green light and Remus is grateful to be spared of the agony, because it's barely been two minutes and he had already felt like he was dying, anyway. The pain is nothing, in comparison to losing you, to live in a world without your laugh, your smile, your hard-headed attitude. He couldn't have done it, and so he feels peace as he crumples to a heap on the ground.

Maybe a silly part of him thought that you'd be waiting at the other end. In a way, you are. But, also, you're not. Because he's watching you as you charge down the Astronomy Tower stairs, the fourteen-year-old version of himself hot on your heels. He remembers this like it was yesterday. He'd kept his secret from you so well until that year, when the growth spurt started and the wolf got bigger and the scars ran deeper, in more noticeable places. The one that ran across his face.

You'd been horrified, he remembers. The look of unbridled fury as you demanded to know who on earth had done such a thing. You were never horrified of him. No. Just the mere idea that someone had hurt him, and it made Remus feel loved, protected. You made him feel loved and protected.

He watches as you reach the bottom of the steps, twirling to face him with your signature unimpressed scowl. He feels fondness like a ball of sunlight in his chest, mouthing the words 'you're a dirty liar, Remus Lupin!' along with you, the sound of your posh swotty accent ringing in his ears.

He'd went back to his dorm that night and made the decision to tell you, came up with a plan, the easiest way to break it to you. You arrived at his door two hours later, half way through his idea list, and told him you'd figured it out. He knew then that he loved you. For all you were bossy and uptight, he loved you, your impatience, your brain, your heart. Remus was in love.

You fade from his view and Remus steps forwards as though he might be able to grab you, keep you there. But the sound of your voice ringing out turns him on the spot, and you're by the black lake, picking daisies with Sirius to make daisy chains. The memories come flooding through, reliving his life through the good moments and the bad. He watches you both fight, cry, makeup. Getting together was a long, painful process, too many miscommunications, missed opportunities. You never did nail down how to express any feelings other than anger and frustration.

But the moment he had you, Remus never let go.

He watches the memories flash by, remembers every one with a heart so full it could burst. A beautiful life, is what he had. Painful, marred by coldness and death and a beast in his heart that he could never tame. But it was beautiful, and it was full of laughter and love, and joy because he had you.

There's your first kiss, heated and mid argument - because back then, Remus had to rile you up enough to snap just to get a lick of emotion from you. You were brave in many ways. Emotions were not one of them. All the milestones are there, flitting past faster than Remus would like. The end of O.W.L. exams, the party that followed, the frantic, unpracticed hands that flitted over each other's bodies in a secluded hallway that night. Summers at the Potter Estate, lounging in the meadows by the cool stream, fires and empty cans of cider, laughing until his bones hurt and his eyes shone with tears.

Your first flat, old and dingy, but you'd danced that first night in the kitchen for so long that the broken heater didn't matter. You'd made it a home.

The day Remus proposed, terrified out of his bloody mind, shaking so hard he dropped the ring box and you'd yelped as the silver banded ring went flying. He saved for years for that ring. You'd said yes, tears of joy and love and elation at spending the rest of your life with him, and spent the next hour looking for the ring in the grass with the help of Padfoot.

You walking down the aisle, a vision of pure beauty, that signature smile you reserved only for Remus, who was waiting at the end wondering what on earth he ever did to deserve you.

Snippets of a life well-spent fly past in a hurry, the blink of an eye, and Remus begins to feel melancholy. The rest of eternity as a conscious soul, reliving all of his best memories, but missing you still. He wonders if you feel the same, if you're watching the best parts of your life fly by, wishing there was more time, more words, more everything.

"We wasted so much time forgetting what life was like, then." Your voice is soft, wistful.

Remus turns and you're there, lips pressed in a thin line, looking very much like you're ready to scald him for following you this far. But Remus Lupin decided a long time ago that he'd follow you to the ends of the earth, so what is death, to that?

"I never forgot. It just got hard to get back to that, I suppose." He wants to reach out and touch you, see if you're real, or a figment of his imagination.

You hum in pensive agreement, "I was always happy with you. You know that, don't you."

How could he ever doubt it? "Down to my soul."

That smile. That mischievous, knowing, loving smile that Remus knows like the skin and bone of his body. Your hand extends to him, as real as the day he took yours in his, and promised to love you until death parted you both. Your chin jerks to the white plane ahead, Remus has no idea how far it stretches or where it goes, but he follows you, anyway, hand in yours.

"Everyone's waiting for us." You tell him.

So, Remus follows you home.

[eyelessfaces]

uncalled for

summary: you get quite upset when poe "saves" your assigned mission by giving orders to your teams without consulting you; poe is determined to fix his mistake.

warnings: (public) arguing, talks of the future; family and having kids

tags: gn!reader, angst, being parents to bb8, fluff, this ends up being real sweet tbh

word count: 1.7k

masterlist | taglist | ao3

updates blog: @eyelessupdates

(uh yeah I'm back if you even noticed I was gone lol. I might just post this and disappear again for a little longer idk but anyways I'll explain the reason whenever I'm back for good; I'm okay don't worry, and I'm still gonna post fics don't worry it's nothing too serious fr)

It causes a disruption when you both barge into the hangar; despite the constant clattering and whirring of tools and material there, both your bitter shoutings have been overlapping the sounds ever since Poe started following you closely, right from the moment you hastily jumped out of your x wing to try to forget about the awful management of your mission that would probably cost you to never get to lead one again. 

“It was my call, not yours” you affirm bitterly, voice dripping with resentment, your steps heavy and hurried as you try to shake Poe off but he is anything if not persevering, so it only manages to piss you off even more and fuel your frustration. “I didn’t need you to save my mission or whatever,” you exclaim, causing heads to turn as you walk across the large room, barely minding what is going on around you. 

“I did because I knew it would work!” Poe tries to explain, still heeling you closely. “I wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t sure it would be successful” he declares louder than he needs to, thrown off when you suddenly stop in your steps, turning to him.

“So you think you can make decisions for me? You think I can’t do it, can’t command a mission correctly?” you rhetorically ask, revolted, sighing a profanity under your breath before you storm off again, your steps resonating with frustration. Poe sighs and winces before he follows you again, taking a hold of your arm.

“Babe come on you know that’s not–”

You stop again, your patience running short. “You had no right to encroach on my orders, I knew what I had to do, and you stepping in with your own instructions could have blown the whole mission up!” you call out, pressing a finger to his chest. 

It’s when you finally take a moment to take a look at his face that you realize it, what is going on; you are being the center of attention, the little show everyone stopped their current task to sit and watch, your every word carefully awaited by your unwanted audience. 

You sigh softly, taking a moment to step back from the situation. “Now leave me alone before we embarrass ourselves further or before I tell you things I don’t really mean just because I’m angry and don’t wanna talk to you” you hiss softly before leaving Poe in the middle of the busy room where he watches you walk away, helplessly standing there. 

When he looks around him, most people turn away and avert their gazes to pretend they haven’t witnessed anything, and Poe is well too aware of the tension still lingering in the air even as you exit the room.

When Jessika climbs down from her ladder after watching the scene from her cockpit, BB-8 rolls over to her and chirps sadly, having observed yours and Poe’s argument from afar just like most of the hangar after his master went running after you. She kneels down to the droid’s level, giving him a sympathetic smile.

“That’s gonna be fine Beebs, they always end up figuring it out somehow” she affirms as the droid’s upper part sinks in distress accompanied by saddened beeps. Jessika can’t help but smile fondly at him and his obvious concern, at the fact that he quite literally acts like you are his parents.

—

A few hours have passed when Poe joins you again; you don't notice him at first, having made sure to get focused enough on your paperwork to forget about the whole situation and try to ease the frustration within you. It's only when you put your datapad down that you see him leaning against the door frame.

“You're so pretty when you're focused” he smiles gently when your eyes meet his figure, causing you to roll your eyes and reluctantly smile at his words despite your lingering frustration. 

“I’m still mad at you,” you sigh softly as you try to hide your slight smirk, gaze darting back down to enter numbers into your datapad.

He acknowledges your feelings with a nod, his lips pressed together in a tight line. “I know.” he admits, stepping into the room. “That’s why I’m here” You look back up at him, taking a deep breath as you set your datapad aside; despite the fact that everything he did since you wrapped your mission up got on your nerves, deep down you only wish for this to situation to get figured out and eventually be behind the both of you. You join him in front of your desk, leaning against it.

“I knew what I was doing. I was handling it” you affirm before he even gets the chance to do so much as open his mouth.

He holds a hand up to slow you down. “I know,” he nods understandingly. “I shouldn’t have redirected the plan, I should have trusted you. I was just afraid things would go wrong considering how it was all starting to go down so quickly” he explains. “I know I could have fucked it all up, everything you put in place so the mission could go right” you slightly tilt your head to the side in agreement. 

“And I know my move was probably a lot more dangerous than the plan you had in mind to make everything right but you know I would never put you or our teams in danger, only myself” he declares with a concerned nod, causing your expression to soften. “You, never. I would never risk it, no matter what” there’s a soft frown over his face as his eyes flicker with sincerity, his confession making your heart ache as it hangs in the air before he talks again. “And I never doubted your ability to command a mission.” 

You nod with a heavy sigh, acknowledging his apology. “I should apologize too. I shouldn't have lashed out on you like that either.” you admit and nod sheepishly, reflecting on your impulsive behavior. “I really wanted this mission to go right”

“For what it’s worth,” he starts with a small smile, trying to dissimulate a bigger one. “I talked about it with Leia and she thinks you did pretty good” his declaration doesn’t fail to draw an appreciative smile from you, one that makes him mirror your action. “And she thinks we would work great together”

“And I agree,” you reply, finally feeling a weight lift off your shoulders as the tension between you begins to dissipate. “We do make a good team.”

Poe’s smile widens, relieved to see you loosen up a bit. “Yeah, we do” he agrees with a small huff, stepping closer to you. “I just hate seeing you so worked up.”

You chuckle softly, shaking your head. “I hate getting worked up,” you scoff. 

“I’ll try to think about it twice next time,” Poe promises, reaching out to gently take your hand in his. “I don’t want to step on your toes or make you feel like I don’t trust you or your judgment.”

Your fingers intertwine with his, the warmth of his touch calming you further. “Well I’ll try not to snap at you,” you promise in return, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze as you let your head rest against his chest with a small, barely audible sigh. “Especially not in front of everyone,” you mutter, earning an amused chuckle from him. You melt into his touch as he leans to press a gentle kiss over your forehead, his hand that is not holding yours coming to wrap around you.

It is only after you pull away from his embrace and leave a chaste kiss to his lips that the corner of your eye notices a sort of spy in the corner of the door frame.

“What’s he doing here” 

Poe frowns before he turns around, huffing out a laugh when he notices BB-8 peeking out the door. “How long have you been here?” he jokingly scolds his droid that fully reveals himself now that he has been caught. “You know he doesn’t like when we fight” he softly sighs turning back to you, a mix of amusement and concern in his eyes before he looks at BB rolling over the both of you.

You shake your head, unable to suppress your smile at BB-8’s presence. “Very sweet of him to be looking out for us,” you start, reaching out to pat the droid’s dome affectionately. “But maybe he should learn not to eavesdrop.”

BB-8 chirps playfully, obviously pleased with the attention, seemingly eager to be a part of the reconciliation.

Poe chuckles, kneeling down to scratch behind BB-8’s sensor with a fond smile. “Yeah, yeah, we’ll work on that,” he says before glancing back at you with a soft smile. “He's our kid, he’s been worried sick about us, weren't you?” he turns to BB, who's beeping frantically in agreement.

You glance at him, then back at Poe, a softness settling in your chest at the sight of them together, your little family. “Our first kid, yeah” you smile softly, heart fluttering inside your chest.

“First? Meaning there's gonna be more?” Poe asks with a playful smile, getting back on his feet. He raises his eyebrows as he awaits your response, and you both laugh at the sudden change of atmosphere as Poe wraps a hand around you before pressing a kiss to your temple.

You huff out a laugh at his quick jump to conclusion, “I don't know, you're a pretty good dad to this one,” you shrug.

“A couple hours ago I was dead to you and now we're talking having kids” he laughs into your hair, a teasing tone in his voice. 

“You weren’t even close to being dead to me, you’re so dramatic Poe” you declare with a small scoff, poking his chest lightly. “That’s the reason Beebs loves you so much” you tease, making him huff out a laugh. “I’d say we should focus on surviving one parenting experience first,” you chuckle looking down at BB-8, nudging Poe playfully. “But who knows what the future holds?”

Poe grins, his eyes sparkling with excitement as his arm grasps tighter around his hold on you. “As long as I have you by my side, I'm up for anything babe.”

—

reblogs and feedback are extremely (I cannot stress this enough) appreciated!!

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[sundrop-writes]

One Moment Per Episode With Dick Grayson

Season One, Episode One: "Titans"

Summary:

You and Dick haven't spoken since the Titans parted ways in San Francisco five years ago.

Even though you used to be as close as two people can be, both of you are doing just fine leading your own separate lives - until your psychic powers cause you to have a vision of the end of the world, and you have to turn to him for help. As much as Dick doesn't want to get involved, you know that him leading The Raven on the path she needs to travel is the only way to stop the terrible fate you saw.

He wants to deny it, and stay as far away from you as possible - but he can't avoid you or the truth that you have told him when he runs into that very Raven you speak of in an interrogation room later that night. He has to face a simple truth he has always known: you're always right.

Dick Grayson x Fem!Powered!Reader. Childhood Friends/Exes to Lovers. Emotional Angst and Bantering/Humor. Set during Season 1, Episode 1.

Word Count: 2,300

DC Titans Masterlist | AO3 Link | Series Masterlist

Detailed warnings and author's notes below the cut.

Warnings: the reader uses she/her pronouns (some people might accuse the reader character in this story of being more of an OC and I am okay with that - I try to make all the reader characters in my other stories as blank and open as possible and every now and then I let myself have a little bit of a treat) - but as usual with my stories, the majority of pronouns used in the fic are you/yours; other than clothing style and a scar that informs her backstory, the reader's looks are not described and are left vague (as far as race, body type, hair colour, etc. - those things are not described); the reader character does have powers - I might make a separate post detailing the reader's entire backstory and power set (or I might just let it be spelled out slowly through the chapters) - but for now, I will tell you that the reader character is psychic and can see glimpses of the future in dream-like visions; the reader and Dick are 'exes' - their relationship was never official (they never explicitly called each other boyfriend/girlfriend), but they used to have sex often (and they both have feelings for each other that they never openly spoke about), and they are childhood friends, so there is a lot of emotional history there; mentions of canon-typical violence; this fic does use Y/N; mentions of the reader being shot during a past undescribed incident; there is references to sex and discussions of sex, but no explicit smut (but there might be some later in the story? idk yet); emotionally constipated Dick Grayson; idk what else ? - pining, emotional angst, using humor to deflect emotional tension, banter. I just really like the vibes of this. there is not a lot of big content warnings for this fic (yet).

A/N: Honestly, I am really excited about this one. I have a lot of ideas for future episodes (especially the episode where Dick loses it emotionally and just gets followed around by a hallucination of Bruce for the entire episode - but that's not until Season 2, oop). Titans is one of my favourite series ever - if you couldn't tell - so getting to examine each episode closer and appreciate each individual episode as a unique piece of art while writing this instead of binging a whole season gives me a whole new appreciation for the show. I hope you guys enjoy these as they come out - especially because I do have an idea of where this fic is going, but I don't know where I want these characters to go in Season 4. (I kind of want to do a secret surprise reveal of two of the characters being related and being siblings, but... idk. Sometimes people don't like that.) But this is definitely a good opportunity to send me ideas of where you want this story to go/how you want it to end up. Anyway - please enjoy!!!

....

Dick needed some fucking air. 

He could barely fucking handle today. He had to compose himself before he lost it and started breaking things. It was all such a shitshow - the department pushing a new partner on him, footage of Robin all over the news, every other half-cocked beat cop making comments about how Robin was just another masked psychopath who wasn’t that different from The Joker. 

Fuck them. 

If they only knew what Gotham was like - if only they had to deal with a department full of asshole’s on the Joker’s payroll. If only they had to watch criminals walk away because they made bail on the decision of a corrupt judge. If only they had to sit behind a desk and listen to a mother’s sobs as she begged for him to find her missing child - knowing how many people elbow to elbow with him would laugh at her tears rather than start looking. 

If they only spent one night tending to civilians while the smell of burning flesh permeated the air, with the Joker’s screaming laugh stuck in their ears because he thought that bombing a low-income housing complex was just that funny. 

Fuck all of them. 

Dick clenched his fist tight - his knuckles aching as he resisted the urge to drive his arm right through the glass at the front of the precinct. He just - he really needed some air. 

Dick walked out the front doors (rather than smashing the glass), and took a deep breath of the cool night air, trying his best to calm down. It was getting late, and things were relatively slow, even for it being a Tuesday. No influx of late-night chaos yet. He had some time to collect himself before- 

“So - Robin’s in Detroit now, huh?” 

That voice. 

Dick felt the sting of familiarity pluck at his spine, and he whipped his head around at lightning speed, looking in the direction of the voice. Surely enough - you were the one standing there. It hadn’t been some kind of auditory hallucination on his part. 

So much for time to calm himself down. 

He was immediately met with a confliction - lust and annoyance bubbling up inside of him. He didn’t want to see you again, he didn’t want you to be here, especially not without warning. But you looked so damn good - it was a distraction from that fact. 

That was always the thing about exes, wasn’t it? 

(If Dick could even call you his ‘ex’ - the two of you had slept together more times than he could count, both metaphorically and literally, but the two of you had never put an official label on the relationship like he had with Dawn or Barbara. He cared for you like a friend, and like a lover in a way that he was never willing to admit - but did that make you his ex? Especially if he never stopped caring about you?) 

That thing about exes being: they always look so fucking good when you see them after a long time of being apart. The universe dangling something in front of you that you’re not allowed to have and technically, should no longer want. 

But oh - Dick found himself wanting so very badly. (And he tried his hardest to hide that fact as he continued to carefully stare you down.) 

Because you looked so good. 

You were wearing something of your usual style - an outfit of many confusing layers that somehow showed off the natural curves of your body and hid you all at the same time. 

A long skirt with a ruffled hemline and bold, colorful pattern. A pair of boots that you had probably gotten from some vintage store that were likely older than both you and Dick, leathery and well worn in. Your jacket was much the same - a supple brown leather with a soft fur lining that made you look very warm and cozy. 

Topped off with a pair of the largest, gaudiest dangling earrings that Dick had ever seen - the kind that would have gotten snagged on one of his nice shirts and gotten the two of you tangled up during one of your hook-ups. A pair of earrings that he would have scolded you for wearing - but he would have delighted in finding them on his bedroom floor after you left because it meant having a piece of you still with him. And it would mean having an excuse to visit you later because he had something of yours to return. 

Those earrings glistened in the light of the street lamps, just as your eyes did while you stared him down with those inquisitive, knowing eyes. Looking at him with that same expression you always wore - the one that seemed to say you knew everything that he never would. It equally fascinated him and infuriated him. 

He hated the fact that you had seemingly appeared out of nowhere, causing his heart to race - had you snuck up on him on purpose? Did you find it funny? 

“Y/N,” Dick said your name curtly, still feeling a slight twinge of shock that you were standing in front of him at all. “What the fuck are you doing here?” 

You let out a dry chuckle, and stepped closer to him, making his whole body stiff. His first instinct was to step backward - to gain more distance from you. But he didn’t want to seem like he was afraid of you - afraid of that closeness. So he forcefully locked his legs and stayed in place as you drifted closer, and you idly conversed back. 

“Oh, Dickie.” You sighed in return, using his childhood nickname. “A warm welcome as always.” 

Dick rolled his eyes at this. Did he really need to bother with manners and formalities? The two of you had known each other for so long, he guessed that you were both well over stuff like that. 

“Do I need a reason to be here? Can’t I just visit an old friend?” You posed, a humorous tone still running through your voice. 

He shoved his hands into his pockets as he took a more defensive stance. He quickly went from shock then to annoyance. 

The two of you were old friends - you had known each other since you were in diapers together. The two of you had grown up together, raised by a unique circus family. And that meant that Dick knew you well enough to know that if you were here, you had a good reason to be. 

(If you had wanted to chase him when he first left Gotham, you likely would have camped out in the trunk of his car, or you would have shown up at his new apartment the day after he moved in. You wouldn’t have waited this long to contact him.) 

“Do us both a favor and cut the bullshit, please.” Dick replied sternly. “Why are you here?” 

“Grumpy.” You sighed, sounding defeated. 

He waited for a moment, and surely enough - you folded, now willing to directly explain your reason for showing up in Detroit so suddenly. 

“I had a vision.” You explained. “A girl. The Raven. A lot of others consider her to be the eater of worlds, but she is the one who is going to save us all, Dick.” 

He let out a harsh puff of air, reaching up and running fingers roughly over his temple. Yup, there it was - the headache had fully set in now. He really didn’t need this. Not tonight. 

He had known about your visions for a long time. When he was younger, he had been shocked to find out that you had inherited your mother’s ‘gift’. He previously had no clue that her set-up as a sideshow fortune teller with Tarot cards and a large crystal ball wasn’t all psychology tricks and half-guesses she put on for tourists - but in fact, it was actually something informed by larger supernatural forces at play. And it was something you could do as well. 

So he was inclined to believe you when you told him about this vague vision, but he also didn’t want to be involved. He had a lot on his plate right now - he didn’t need this. 

“Look, I’m sure that whatever you saw was important, but-” He began. 

You sighed and shook your head harshly at this ‘but’. 

“Why don’t you just take it to New York instead? This kind of thing is way more Donna’s speed, anyway. I’m sure she can help you find this girl, and-” 

“That won’t help.” You told him. “The girl is already on her way here.” 

You spoke the words with such utter certainty, and it sent shivers up Dick’s spine. The calm, tranquil look on your face - the ominous wiseness you held: it reminded Dick so much of your mother. The other-worldly authority she held that had ultimately gotten her killed. It was strangely creepy. 

“Just so you know, I hate it when you say ominous shit like that.” Dick told you, gesturing to your person with stiff offense in his body. “Just because your mother played the creepy voodoo witch for tourists doesn’t mean you have to.” 

“I’m not playing.” You replied, exasperated. 

You knew that Dick could be frightened of your powers at times. He was someone very logic-based - he built his beliefs around facts. So having you follow your visions and your ‘gut feelings’ when they were never concrete, changing on a dime - he hated the uncertainty and chaos that came with it all. But you had learned to trust yourself and your feelings over time, even if he didn’t. 

“And you know, you’re involved in this whether you want to be or not.” You told him, trying to get the conversation back on track. “I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Robin made his first appearance in months last night.” 

Dick became stiff at this, and quickly glanced around - as though waiting for someone to appear out of nowhere and point an accusing finger at him, screaming out that he was Robin and he had been caught. 

“You can’t help it, Dick Grasyon.” You declared with intense certainty. “You need to save people, you need to feel like you’re making a difference, you-” 

“So what, now you expect me to save the whole fucking world?” Dick snapped back. 

“She does.” You corrected. 

“Who?” He replied - confused and once again annoyed at your mysticism and bold confidence in your visions. 

“The Raven.” You told him. “She needs you. And whether you like it or not, you need her.” 

You shifted your stance then, waiting for him to tell you that you were right - which was how most of your arguments ended. 

But then, as a sick reminder, the lapel of your jacket opened enough for Dick to get a glance at your chest. The neckline of your blouse was wide open, but his eyes weren’t drawn to your cleavage - instead, he became focused on a large scar that you had sitting over your heart. A place where a bullet had ripped through you, leaving you barely alive. 

He still remembered the feeling of your blood warm under his hands while you looked up at him with tears in your eyes, begging him to save you. He remembered sitting at your bedside, believing that you would never wake up again. 

He couldn’t help but to reach up and gently skim his thumb across the roughness of the scarred skin as he glared at it with a stiff jaw. The touch sent shivers through you - it was the first time he had touched you since that last night in Gotham, when you had woken up to an empty bed and absolutely no explanation as to where he had gone. 

Dick felt rage boil inside of him. 

How could you ask him to save the world when he had been responsible for this? 

This - this was why he was no fucking savior. 

“You shouldn’t be here.” He said, choking on the words slightly as he took his hand down, shoving it back into his pocket once again. He had to avoid the temptation of touching you any further. 

If you weren’t safe around him, why would some little girl from your visions be? 

“This isn’t about me.” You scoffed. “Or-” 

‘Or us.’ 

You held back, knowing how dangerous it was to mention the royal Us around flighty Dick Grayson. For a bird without wings, he was absolutely capable of taking off in a quick moment when he wanted to. 

“This is about something so much bigger.” You pressed. “She’ll be here soon.” 

Dick let out another strained sigh at you using such ominous words again. 

“Well, next time you’re gonna come here and be all ominous and creepy, you should at least bring some coffee.” He told you, sarcasm tight on his lips. 

You made a mocking face in return. 

“Well, you could be more polite.” You scoffed. 

Before Dick could recommend that the two of you go and get a coffee in order to truly catch up, someone called out his name, drawing his attention away from you for a moment. 

“Hey, Grayson!” Someone called, sticking their head out the front door. “Prentiss is looking for you!” 

When he turned back, you were gone. He tried not to linger on it too much - how creepy it was. You were silent and quick like a ghost - he thought that your ominous jewelry might jingle like a house cat’s bell. 

But - he would call you later. Hopefully you still had the same number. 

…

Dick walked into the interrogation room, trying to clear his mind of the interaction with you. When he saw a small, scared girl, he thought it best to lighten the mood with a joke. 

“Hi, I’m Detective Grayson.” He said, introducing himself. “I hear you like to play baseball with bricks and cop cars. You wanna tell me what happened?” 

“You’re him.” She said, whimpering and tearful. “You’re the boy from the Circus.” 

At first, Dick thought that everyone was simply being ominous and creepy today. But then he realized:

‘Oh fuck. You were right.’

...

A/N: Please do not ask me when this fic will be updated - this fic does not have a schedule.

While this is technically the first chapter in a 'series', each chapter is meant to be enjoyed on its own. The overarching plot of the series is still that of the original Titans show, and I won't be making any major changes to the canon of the show - I just intend to showcase smaller emotional moments between the reader character and the canon characters. This is something I want to work on casually in the background between working on other things. This fic is not my main focus, and I will not be rushing to update it or complete it.

Comments and reblogs are encouraged, and I am thankful for them - but please keep those comments focused on the actual content of the series (it's plot, the characters, their dynamics, etc.). Please do not spam me asking me to update this or asking me when I will update this - because I am not in a rush to do so. I have a lot of ideas for this series that I am excited about, but I want to work on it slowly and casually because I don't want to lose my enthusiasm for it and I know that rushing will take that enthusiasm away.

If you enjoyed this - great, thanks. But if you expect this to be updated weekly like a factory pumping out stuff on a clearly outlined schedule - then you are in the wrong place. If you are expecting constant updates of this fic and you will be disappointed if it doesn't get updated regularly - you should just block me now and pretend you didn't read it. But if you are a patient person - feel free to read and enjoy my other Titans works while I am working on updates for this (and working on other exciting things), and feel free to send me a message telling me what you thought of this fic or other fics in general.

Also - if you can't get Dick Grayson off your mind - my requests are open.

[tmntxthings]

So I’ve been seeing a bunch of Future Leo fics where he goes back in time floating around and it got me thinking

Imagine being Leo’s s/o in the future only to die like protecting him or something and then when he gets sent back and sees his s/o’s younger self?? The angst material here!!? Especially if they aren’t dating yet and get together during the Kraang apocalypse. And then when Young Leonardo is being stupid he pulls him aside and grabs his shoulders and is like

“Cherish them! Fucking cherish them!!” As he like sobs or something idk.

This idea just popped into my head. Feel free to add on or just react to this

一∑ blast from the past。・゜・

my reaction? OUCH- my freaking heart anon, you just stomped on it, did a little jig on it, DAMN 😏 you’re good

author’s notes: idk just adding a little something something to this angsty bit^ also imagine future!leo like being unable to stop himself from pursuing 👀 like the implications… the jealousy.. the age gap? 💀 JUST A THOUGHT OKAY???

warnings: angst, cursing, more angst, flashbacks, mentions of death and unedited asf

—————————————————————————

About a month had gone by since Leo had dropped out of the sky back in time. During that time, he had explained himself as best he could. It was surprising how easily they accepted the concept of time travel but Leo guessed they had experienced weirder things! Luckily he had traveled back a day before his younger self royally fucked up! That gave Leo time to explain the kraang with the help of dad, and formulate a foolproof plan. They had made sure to save the world without any casualties. The Kraang didn’t even get the chance to exit the prison dimension. He had saved the world. He had saved their world. Maybe that could make up for the wrongs he had committed in his own timeline. It didn’t feel like it, but Leo felt at least a little bit of hope knowing that none of his brothers would be dying because of his mistake this time around.

After that some things had to be settled. The main thing was what would he do now? A 40-something turtle in a timeline that wasn’t his own. He didn’t belong, despite this being his home. So when the dilemma came up about what to do with the key. Leo readily offered up himself. He had plenty of reasons. 1. He had lived his life already, he didn’t mind living on the run, away from New York, away from the Foot Clan. 2. He was older, he wouldn’t make the same mistakes twice. 3. Who else would do it? It wasn’t like it could be destroyed and it also couldn’t stay in the lair or anywhere else that the Hamato Clan held dear.

So yeah, he would take the key. And he would go on what he liked to call around the youngins ‘a vacation.’ He made it sound so grand. He would go travel the world. The first mutant turtle world traveler! To Tahiti and beyond. Plus it wasn’t like they couldn’t call him, FaceTime him. It would be like he had never left! At least that’s what he told the teenagers. For the most part Leo thought he had convinced them. And he had convinced himself too.. until he saw you.

He rarely left the lair, now more than ever since he was leaving in a couple of days. He couldn’t continue to risk everyone’s safety by staying for too much longer. For having the key there in one place for so long. But he had wanted to spend as much time with the boys as possible, so when they offered for him to join in patrol, “Ya know only if your old bones can handle it~” Leon shot back. “What he means to say is—“ Raph started to say, giving his little blue brother an annoyed side eye. “Sure sure, we’ll see who’s trailing behind on the rooftops,” Leo said with a smirk.

The competitive glint shone not only in Leon’s eyes but everyone’s. Good! Leo thought to himself and kept his word. He had a massive lead, the youngins still had a lot to learn. Which made the inevitable departure that much harder. He skidded to a stop on a low-rise building. He peered behind his shoulder, smiling at the group who were now racing amongst themselves for second place. He chuckled to himself as he turned back to the street in front of him. Leaning over the edge to see the sidewalk and it was like someone had physically punched him. Straight in the gut. He wobbled backwards, blinking rapidly before moving forward once more. It couldn’t be! What were the chances?!

Yet there you were, headphones on, none the wiser of the ninja watching you from above. Trailing you as you continued on your merry way. Yes it was just like you, with music involved to be doing a little dance in the middle of walking. His breath caught in his throat. You were here. You were alive. It brought him back to his time, when he had lost you. The pain in his chest from the memory alone had his good hand going up to his upper-plastron. “What’re we looking at,” Leon murmured. It came as no surprise that he would get second place. What was a surprise was how serious he sounded. Leo made sure to school his features, to give nothing away. You didn’t need to get involved… maybe in this timeline you would never have to worry about mutants and villains.

Maybe you could have a normal life and continue doing your little happy dances down the New York City sidewalks. “Nothing, just had a flashback.” Leo decided a half truth would allow you to escape his younger versions curiosity. “Wait a minute! That’s Y/n!! Hold on Peepaw,” and before Leo could stop him, Leon was portaling down in front of your path. He had already met you in this timeline?? His gut wrenched as he pictured your lifeless face. A kraang standing tall, over your body and raining down a harsh red glow. Leo watched as his younger self became animated, talking cheerfully and pointing up to the rooftop. Leo immediately stepped back, the boys taking his place and waving down at you.

Raph looked back giving him a questionable look. Leo just shook his head. He didn’t think he could face you. It was a miracle in itself that he came across your path to begin with. “You guys done saving the world yet? Can I come hang soon??” You hollered and Leo flinched. Sure it was dark, and sure not many were out, but attention shouldn’t be drawn to them. Mikey readily hollered back, “Soooooon! In like a couple of da—“

Donnie smacked a robo hand over his orange brother’s mouth. Donnie pressed his wrist and it lit up. “Not yet! I’ll text you.” He spoke into the voice channel. Leo assumed that was to keep the yelling to a minimum since Leon was next to you and could listen in to the comms. Leo couldn’t see what happened next but he felt nauseous. Like he had just ran a marathon, eaten too quickly, and went on a rollercoaster all at once. Leon portaled back up and Leo presumed you had left. Until you also came through the portal. He seized up all over again. If only for a second before realizing he was an adult and had to act like one. Maybe you wouldn’t notice him on the far side of—

“Yeah see, I told you ! He’s me, just from a different future!” Leon said smugly as he motioned his arm towards his future self. “Oh wow you weren’t kidding!” Your mouth dropped open in sheer shock. You were so close now. And so much younger, he had met you during the apocalypse in his lifetime. He drank in your features. They were softer, you weren’t battle worn, the light was still glowing in your eyes. Music played lowly from your headphones that rested on your collar. “Yeah he doesn’t talk much..” Leon coughed. Leo cleared his throat with frustration, such a little shit. “Hi,” he said lamely.

“Hi!” You smiled back, and took liberty to close the gap. “So I’m guessing you were a big help in saving the world huh?” Leo gulped. Was that a trick question? “Well.. yeah I guess,” it would be too time-consuming to say he had to learn the hard way first. Yeah, actually I destroyed my world, and being the last survivor fate must’ve felt like second-chances were a thing and dumped me here to fix what I had royally screwed. You wouldn’t understand, and from the innocent gaze in your eyes he wanted to keep it that way. You didn’t need to know the truth. It would only dull that spark. “Thank you! For coming back and saving our butts then,” you winked as if this was a little inside joke. Leo couldn’t help but crack a soft smile, one that must’ve gave himself away because in his peripheral he saw someone stiffen. A lot of someones. He could only nod after that, any verbal response completely leaving him as he looked down to his feet. To your feet. He had missed you. It was hard not to just reach out. To hug you. But it was enough to know you were here in this world, alive and happy from what he could tell.

“Rightttt well, let’s portal ya back down huh?”

“Oh wait, look Donnie! Know this one??”

“Indignant scoff! What am I listening to??”

“Lemme listen! C’mon lemme listen!!”

“Guys we gotta get going!”

Leo’s gaze had lifted to see the exchange. Watched as Mikey bounced around with grabby hands for the headphones. Only for Leon to make a well-timed portal once Donnie had chucked them off of his head. “Heyyyyy!” Mikey cried out as Leon placed the headphones on his own head. “Don you’re crazy this is a vibe!” His younger self said as his head bobbed. “I disagree!” Donnie replied promptly. Mikey was turning feral as he lunged for the headphones once more, complaining that it was his turn. Raph caught him mid-air, and Mikey struggled to be released. “Don’t worry Mike I’ll send you the song asap!” You shot him a thumbs up and that was the only thing that seemed to subdue him. Raph still held on for good measure. Leo kept the headphones on as he made a grand gesture for you to go first into the portal behind you. “See you guys later!” You waved before disappearing into the blue circle.

So you had known them for a good while, Leo deduced. He didn’t know how to feel. His initial reaction was to act like you hadn’t existed. Pretend like he had never known you, for your safety. But maybe that had been selfish of him… you were always a joy to be around. Even during the darkest times. It was what had drawn him to you from the beginning. When he couldn’t be the ‘leader’ anymore, when he couldn’t put on the bravado and be the fearless warrior. You had picked up his slack. You had been his lighthouse during an eternal night. The patrol went smoothly from there. Though Leo knew he was distracted. He wasn’t called out about it until they reached the lair again. “So what was that about?” Leon asked.

Ahh fuck. He really didn’t want to explain himself. Not to himself! It would just mess things up further. The less Leon knew, the better. So he did what he thought was best. Brush it off. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Classic Leo, classic. “Mhmm no, that’s not happening. What was that look??” Leon continued to badger. And one by one Donnie peeled off, Raph dipped, and Mikey slipped away. Until it was just the two in blue in the common area. “What look???” Leo continued to feign ignorance. Leon crossed his arms, “You know them don’t you? Why were you trying to act like—“

“Can you just drop it?” Leo gritted out as his good hand flexed at his side. “No.” Leon stated plainly. Each looking at one another with a level stare. “Yeah sure I knew them! Alright??” Leo exasperated as he turned to leave. To go to his own room. To escape from any further interrogation. So much for being an adult! “Hey! We ain’t done here, how did you know them?? Why did you look so.. so sad?” His former self sure was incessantly annoying. “Leon just leave it.” He warned for a second time. But no, that was never his style. He had to keep pushing and pushing until someone finally caved. Until the limit was long past breached and crossed and stomped on. “What? Did you like them??”

Leo stopped his escape. He froze in place. The only reason being the way Leon said it. Haughtily. Like such a thing was infeasible. Unbelievable. Laughable. He felt his eyes turn icy as his head whipped back and he couldn’t stop himself as his body moved. Leaning forward and getting into Leon’s space. “Fuck you. You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. So I suggest you stop talking altogether.” His tone was deathly low. Leo hadn’t just liked you. That word didn’t even scrape the surface. “They deserved better.” He spat. That was more towards himself but it felt good to see Leon flinch. To stop fucking around for once. If it wasn’t for him— for me— Leo’s face crumpled.

“You need to cherish them. All of them. Dad, Raph, Donnie, Mikey, April! And especially.. them.” Leo swallowed thickly, “Because you never know what will happen. Got it?” He cocked his head, maintaining that hard stare on his younger self. He watched as Leon nodded. Hands clasped tightly into fists. Like he wanted to punch. Like he wanted to fight. Whatever. Leo had to make sure that at least this piece of advice got through that thick skull of his. “Good,” now fuck off you little shit. The rest went left unsaid but Leo was tired and knew it wasn’t completely healthy to berate a teenager. Even if it was himself. Ugh, such a mess.

.

.

.

.

[loaksky]

— 𝒊 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒕 | 𝒆. 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒎𝒔

collegefwb!ellie x fem college!reader, angst, hurt / minimal comfort, wc: 3.5k

synopsis: you and ellie were a disaster waiting to happen.

content warnings: language, unforgivably mean!ellie (like atrociously mean, this is a REAL warning), toxic situationships / past relationships, brief mentions of sex, side comment about slipandslide, reader experiences loss, internalized grief and mentions of drunk driving / car accidents. please let me know if i miss anything, this one might be a lot !

author’s note: re-posted this after noticing it wasn’t showing in tags! also noticed some of the tlou community requesting some angst gigglegiggle. perhaps this will lead to a second-chance romance expansion in the future…leave your thoughts heh <3 as always, not proofread well!

tagging @vigskrt, don’t hate me for no happy ending this time around </3 i have plans to build this into a full fic ;)

YOUR FRIENDS HAD WARNED YOU.

They’d told you that Ellie Williams wasn’t shit. She was damaged goods and you were willing to pay the price even if it meant a shattered heart broken into a million unmendable pieces.

You’d given her the benefit of the doubt, had held out hope for the first little while of whatever it was between the two of you. You liked to believe that Ellie was tamping down unprocessed emotions, but she’d been adamant that it was all just good fun.

And you were willing to let it go, willing to take it all in stride if it meant having her in any way she’d give herself to you, but you were splintering glass waiting to give any second.

You’ll never forget the night you crumble.

She says it so casually, like she’s making observations about the weather or the swathes of setting skies. You’re sitting on her couch, basking in whatever remnants of the afterglow remains. Because, frankly, if there’s one thing Ellie Williams is good at, it’s pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you.

She’s across the living room, finishing off the blunt you’d politely declined, watching the slow glide of her goldfish in the tank on her console.

“M’bored,” she says simply.

You shift on your side of the couch, watching as she flicks ash in the nearby ashtray.

“You wanna go out?” you offer, glancing at the sunset outside of her window. “We could—”

She huffs out a humorless laugh, takes an extra long pull before stubbing the roach out and turns to face you. Her black tank top is riding up and you blanche when you see the fresh hickey a little south of her belly button.

You definitely hadn’t given it to her, but you aren’t in the mood to argue at the moment.

“I’m bored,” she repeats. “Of this. Whatever this is.”

You breathe out at nervous laugh.

“Oh c’mon, Els.” You stand from the couch, try to close in on her, but she’s shrugging you off as your hands come out to reach for her.

“I’m serious,” she says, tone bland and gaze glazed, equal parts from disinterest and the high kicking in. “It was fun at first, but this is starting to feel like a chore.”

Your chest tightens, tongue drying as you search her face for any tell.

“I don’t understand,” you murmur. “Where’s this coming from?”

Ellie shrugs.

“I’m just bored and this isn’t doing it for me.”

You’ve been wondering why it seemed like she was anywhere else but present the last dozen moments you’ve spent with her. It was always her half-assed agreements of seeing you when you called. Or less than enthusiastic spans of time where she’d seemed annoyed when you weren’t sated after the first comedown and quietly begged for more.

“Is there… Is there someone else?” you swallow. “If there’s someone else, it’s okay. I’ll—”

Ellie barks a mean laugh.

“You’re naive if you think you’re the only one,” she says, and it’s a nasty confirmation of the suspicions you’d had the entirety of your situationship with the girl.

“Why are you doing this?” you whimper, fingers reaching to tangle with hers.

“Fuck, I’m not high enough for this,” Ellie grumbles to herself as she watches your threads unravel.

“You wanna stop seeing me because you’re bored?” you heave. “You wanna stop this ‘cause you’re bored? Ellie, what the fuck?”

“I said it twice already,” she bites, snatching her fingers from your grasp. “And honestly, I’m over all of this. I’m over the clinginess, the neediness, the hope.”

Your breath catches hard in your throat and Ellie’s eyes meet yours for the first time since her declaration.

“Your friends talk, you know?” she says simply. “They beg me to put you out of your misery, say that you’re a great girl for me.”

And you like to think you are. You like to think that Ellie’d learned to love you the way you loved her; unconditionally, passionately, and in her own fucked up way. But you’d obviously been grossly mistaken.

“Am I not?” you whisper. “You mean the world to me, Ellie. I’d do anything for you. I–I lo—”

“Don’t.” She cuts you off sharply. “Don’t do this to yourself.”

“Ellie, I love you.”

And the silence is palpable. Tag-teams the tears that choke you as you wear your heart on your sleeve.

She sighs deep, scrubs her palms down her face as she screws her eyes shut.

“God, why do you have to make things so fucking difficult?” she groans.

“Me?” you choke incredulously. “We’ve been dancing around these feelings for a year, Ellie! You turn a blind eye, act like we won’t work when all it’d take is just a leap of faith. Why can’t you have faith in me, Els?”

She rolls her eyes, crosses the living room into her bedroom to collect your clothes off her floor.

“This is why we wouldn’t work,” she’d grunts as she stuffs everything into your backpack. “Because you think you know me, think you know how I feel, what I think, what I want. You don’t know me. You know what I let you and we fuck. That’s it.”

Your body shakes hard with emotion, bones vibrating with unshed tears.

“You’re lying,” you accuse. “You’re fucking lying because you’re scared.”

“Oh, fuck off with the shit, ________, please,” Ellie scoffs, shoving your backpack in your arms.

“It’s okay to be scared,” you argue desperately, reaching for her again. “I get it, this is new for you and it’s a lot to process and—”

“We agreed that this was just a good time,” Ellie says, nudging your arm away. “And right now, this isn’t really feeling like a good time. This feels like you trying to fix me, but I’m not going to change. Not for anyone and especially not for you.”

It’s a brutal stab at your feelings and it makes you sick. Because Ellie’s always known. She’d entertained this whole endeavor knowing you were head over heels and there wasn’t a chance in hell she would reciprocate.

“We don’t have to stop seeing each other, Els,” you try, taking in a shuddering breath. “Just— Just give us a shot. We can work through it and—”

“What’s not fucking clicking?” Ellie cuts you off with a pinched expression. “You’re not my fuckin’ therapist, not my girlfriend, and definitely won’t be anything more than a decent lay. I’m not doing this shit with you anymore. Seriously. Have some self-respect.”

The look of annoyance that crosses her face makes you feel like your feelings are the ultimate burden. And the sob that wracks your body rattles you so hard you cough till you feel like your lungs will dissolve.

It’s absolutely fucking humiliating, the way that Ellie grimaces like this is the most inconveniencing thing in her life as of late.

“Dude, just go,” she says sharply, steering you towards the front door. “Block me, I don’t care, just please let this shit go.”

“You’re actually the biggest piece of shit I’ve ever had the displeasure of knowing in my life.”

Ellie barely catches the statement, bulky headphones fitted over her auburn hair, but Dina’s brisk movements towards her catches her attention.

It’d be been a week since she’d last seen you, and quite frankly she’d been relatively surprised that you’d heeded her word about leaving her alone. She’d almost been home free. Almost.

“If this is about your friend—”

“Like hell it is,” Dina scoffs. “Are you serious? I can believe you said all that shit to her.”

“I mean, you warned her, didn’t you?” Ellie shrugs her shoulders, hooking her thumbs through her backpack straps. “Sounds like you should be bitching at her for not listening instead of me for keeping it pushing.”

And Ellie almost lets the irritation bubble over, but the look on Dina’s face has shifted, has her swallowing down whatever residual snark is concocting in the back of her brain.

“She’s devastated, Ellie.”

And it’s the same song and dance, Ellie knows it all too well, the bouts of sadness followed by the niggling feeling of numbness. She’s usually nonchalant, doesn’t feel any moral obligation to tie up any loose ends, but she feels the closest thing to guilt when she sees the genuine concern in your friend’s expression.

“Look, I’m sorry she got her feelings hurt, okay?” Ellie sighs defensively. “But everyone knew what this was going in and I can’t be the only asshole here for keeping it real.”

And of course she can’t take accountability, can’t admit that maybe she’d been too harsh on someone as sweet as you.

“Honestly, fuck you. I don’t know why I’m still fucking friends with you,” Dina whispers.

Ellie rolls her eyes.

“C’mon, D, you serious right now?”

“You hurt her so bad she won’t even eat,” Dina says quietly. “All she ever wanted was to make you happy, Ellie. The least you could’ve done was let her down easy.”

“This is fuckin’ bullshit,” she grunts to herself.

“No, Ellie, your attitude is fucking bullshit, your whole fucking outlook on life,” Dina says stonily, shrugging her shoulders and taking a step away. “But I guess you get hurt once, you hurt a hundred times, right?”

“D, don’t—”

“Whatever.” Dina waves her off. “Apologize, don’t apologize, I don’t fucking care.”

After nearly two weeks of trying to mend the wounds Ellie had left, you get the call. It’s during midterms and you feel like the world is splintering.

Your younger sister had been driving home on the way from her shift when she was struck. She’d been pronounced at the scene and you take the first flight back home.

And you don’t know how to feel. Don’t know how to sort through the nasty mix of emotions that threaten to peel you from the inside out and disintegrate you. Losing Ellie was one thing, losing your youngest sister is like cruel fate.

It doesn’t hit you until after the service. When you’re sitting in her bedroom, combing through her admittance letters and thumbing through old family albums. You land on a particularly devastating photograph. One where she’d finally surpassed you in height and she’d leaned down to kiss your cheek.

The tears are spilling as you turn the page and you see collages of holidays, birthdays, and vacations. The one that sends you over the edge is the most recent.

It’d been spring break and your family had gone tubing. The two of you had drifted off and your mother was able to capture the perfect photo of the two of you with your heads thrown back in laughter.

If you recall correctly, you’d confided in her about your troubles with Ellie and, in an attempt to make you feel better, she’d cracked a joke so funny it made you laugh like things could be okay.

In the first moment that every emotion hits you full force and your sister isn’t there to be your rock, she’s there to catch your falling pieces.

Abby Anderson’s a childhood friend, grew up in the same cul-de-sac and moved the opposite way for university. News of your sister’s death had her making the five hour drive and offering you some semblance of comfort in a familiar face.

The two of you sit in silence as you hold the photo album to your chest and cry until your throat is raw and your eyes are nearly swollen shut. Her palm is warm between your shoulder blades, a gentle anchor in the roiling storm.

Ellie’s stoned out of her mind when she pays your dorm a visit a couple of weeks later. The apology’s long overdue, but she’d been too busy sparking up and getting lost in other people to shake the claws you’ve seemingly sunk into her brain.

It’s half past midnight on a Tuesday when she delivers three hard raps against room 202. Another three when no one answers the first time around.

She finally hears shuffling after the third set and the door swings forcefully before the fourth. And it’s definitely not you.

“Y’know it’s almost one AM and a majority of this building has class in the morning, right?”

Ellie’s posture straightens.

“Hello?”

Ellie doesn’t recognize this girl at all, does a double take to make sure she’s got the right room.

“________,” she says. “She around?”

The girl’s face screws up.

“Who?”

Ellie repeats your name.

“Oh, her,” the girl mutters groggily. “She pulled out of school a couple of weeks ago. Whole floor was scrambling to get reassigned to her room.”

“She what?” Ellie balks.

“She dropped out, I guess, I dunno,” the girl shrugs. “All I know was that the school psych handed us pamphlets about mental health and shit after she left.”

If anyone has any information on you, they won’t budge. And Ellie realizes it’s equal parts for your protection and her punishment. She’d been a nervous fucking wreck the remainder of the semester, couldn’t stop searching every corner of the internet for you, but it seems like maybe that night really does click because she’s blocked on every single platform imaginable.

She’d started smoking more, started fucking less, actually showed up to class. Her brain was practically numb a majority of the time, anxiety eating away during her short bouts of sobriety.

And god, if she had to admit that she’d learned her fucking lesson, had to admit that losing you was agonizing, she would if it meant seeing you again. Even from a distance.

Because she’ll be honest for once in admitting that she fucking misses you. Misses you so much it’s disgusting. And she doesn’t miss the way you make her feel, or the sex, or any of the things you offer her, she misses you.

Craves to see your sunny smile, yearns to feel the way your body nestles perfectly against hers. And your laugh, god your laugh, boisterous and consuming. She’d always told you it was obnoxious, but nothing could crack a smile faster than you throwing your entire body away from her and cackling till you wheeze.

And this is more traumatizing than any previous relationship that made her swear off love altogether. Your disappearance and your absence makes her feel like she’s going insane, like she’s grasping at straws to keep it together.

Mercifully, the semester ends, but summer oozes like viscous torture. And when fall sem of senior year rolls around, she holds out on hope, just needs to tell you that she knows she fucked up and she’s sorry.

But fall is quiet. Winter is quieter and the holidays feel mundane even surrounded by her loved ones.

“Everything okay at school, kiddo?” Joel’s never been one to poke around, just a silent supporter in the midst of Ellie’s growing pains.

Ellie nods, leaning over the railing.

“S’alright,” she shrugs. “It’s school.”

Joel ponders for a moment, looks like he doesn’t want to pry, but his youngest is his soft spot.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” he drawls softly. “I know you better than you think. Know that something’s botherin’ you.”

Ellie hesitates, but decides to bite back her fears. It’s the least she could do for you.

“You ever hurt someone so bad you don’t know how to fix it?” she swallows.

Joel takes in a deep breath, then takes Ellie in.

“You want an honest answer?”

“Please,” she breathes.

“Sometimes you just have to deal with the repercussions of hurting somebody,” Joel says. “Closure is always nice but never guaranteed and the lack thereof is your punishment.”

It does feel an awful lot like punishment, Ellie thinks.

And Ellie learns that the universe can be unforgivable.

Learns as much when she catches a glimpse of you at the campus bookstore when all the students return from winter break.

She nearly drops her stack of books, scurries across the store in half as many strides before her fingers are wrapping around your bicep.

“Holy shit,” she whispers. “It’s actually you.”

You’d been caught so off guard, you barely process the emotions that begin to filter through you, especially when she engulfs you in a bone-crushing hug and rocks you like she’ll never let you go.

“I can’t breathe,” you squeak, hands snaking between your bodies to give her a gentle push.

“Sorry, fuck, I’m sorry,” Ellie blabbers. “For that, for everything, for—”

“It’s, uh, it’s fine,” you say cooly and Ellie’s staring like you’ve sprouted two heads.

Because it’s absolutely not fine. You’d left school for a year and returned looking like a whole new person. Your cheeks are hollow, eyebags prominent, lips chapped. It’s like the past eight months has sucked the life out of you.

“Christ, are you serious right now?” Ellie asks incredulously.

She doesn’t realize how many emotions she’d kept pent up until her vision is clouding and your expression is falling.

“I broke your fucking heart and you scared the shit out of me when you disappeared and I— I thought— I…”

Ellie’s chest is tightening and she feels like she’s gonna throw up when you let out a short breath.

“What, you thought I offed myself?” you ask with a hollow laugh.

“I don’t know what I fucking thought,” Ellie’s voice cracks, and it’s the most emotion you’ve seen from her in the time you’ve known her. “All I knew was that one minute I was seeing you almost everyday and then suddenly, you fell off the face of the Earth and I’d never missed someone so much in my life and I fucking hated every single moment—”

“My little sister passed,” you say simply.

And fuck, she doesn’t expect that.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” you whisper. “You definitely fucked me up but there was a lot more to me leaving.”

“Jesus, I’m so sorry, I—”

“Everything okay?” A tall, buff blonde interjects.

It’s subtle, the way the girl’s palm slides to gently fit between your shoulder blades and Ellie’s going rigid.

“Yeah,” you respond, smile soft and familiar.

Ellie’d been on the receiving end once upon a time, and she nearly retches when you shift closer to the girl.

“This is Ellie,” you introduce. “An old classmate.”

The girl gives Ellie a once over, then a pensive smile.

“You ready to check out?” she asks you.

Ellie watches as you give her the upper level philosophy textbook and thinks that it’s fitting, your area of study.

“I’ll be up in a second, just gonna say bye,” you assure her.

She’s gazing down at you for a moment too long, lips curling into a wider smile as she nods in understanding and Ellie has to stop herself from recoiling.

Old habits die hard because she’s picking a fight despite her better judgment.

“So, I’ve been worried fucking sick over you for the past year but you were with someone else this entire—”

“Don’t do that, Ellie,” you say softly. “We’re friends. She helped me a lot through losing Dev.”

“If you called—”

“If I called, what, Ellie?” you ask seriously, but not unkindly.

You’re fed up, frankly.

“I would’ve been there,” Ellie says firmly, then whispers, “I would’ve fucking been there.”

“Would you have really?” you breathe a short laugh through your nose. “Last time we spoke I told you I loved you and you told me to have some self-respect.”

Ellie winces.

“I’ve thought about it,” she swallows.

You only blink up at her.

“It’s all I could think about since last spring, but…” she trails off, searches your face for courage because she’s so fucking scared. “What you said, the last time we spoke.”

“I said a lot of things,” you reply candidly.

“That we could work through it if I gave us a shot,” Ellie murmurs, running her fingers through her overgrown hair. “And I know I’m late—”

“Yeah, no shit,” you say flatly and Ellie flinches.

“But I want us to work and—”

“No.”

And the wind’s knocked from her lungs, makes her stomach wrench.

“And it’s not because I don’t love you anymore,” you say gently. “But because losing Dev taught me to love myself more.”

Ellie’s throat bobs.

“I can’t keep cutting myself down to accept what you feel like giving me,” you say. “Because I won’t take you having me one hundred percent and deciding to give me 10 on the days when the going gets tough. And don’t say you won’t because we’ve already done that shit with no labels.”

Being absolutely read makes Ellie feel infinitely more like shit because she’s never heard such a sound declaration of your unbridled feelings.

“I’m not losing you again,” Ellie whispers vehemently.

“You don’t have to,” you say softly, visibly withdrawing from the conversation. “I’ll always be in your corner rooting for you. But I can’t give you anymore than that. I won’t.”

“Wait, please, I—”

“I gotta go,” you say, peeling away. “Abby’s waiting.”

“Babe, c’mon.”

“I’ll see you around, Ellie,” you bid her, sparing her one final glance. “Take care of yourself.”

neng©️2023

[sapphicvqmpires]

❁ཻུ۪۪♡ eyes on me

Pairing - nerd!shuri x black!fem reader

Word Count - 10.7k (just vibe with me)

Contains - smut (18+), switch!shuri, switch!reader, cunnilingus, fingering, edging, choking/gagging/breathplay, throat-fucking, overstimulation, dacryphilia, strap-on, breeding kink, slight bondage (not really) mean!reader, just FILTH, some angst, some fluff

Divider From - @firefly-graphics

Sneak Peak - “What’s that you’re working on, baby?” Your tone was low, sultry, a tool to invite her in to observe the way she would give into you. She looked up at you, a hint of thrill masking her beautiful face at the question and your heart grew at the way she lit up. She began to talk about nonsense that meant nothing to you, growing in excitement as you grew in boredom. True to your slightly mean nature, you yawned, almost intentionally knocking down her enthusiasm and her face grew saddened, choking down her words as you belittled her

Tags - @inmyheadimobsessed @amplifiedmoan @vampzxi @abenomeiiii @heejayy @shurislover @shurismainbxtch @shuriszn @naomis-daydream @prettymrswright @pocketsizedpanther @gardenof-venus @tiii-iiiiii @venusdraco @verachii @ihearttish @playhousedistee @somethingcleaverandwhitty @niyahwrites @tishsrealwife @oceean @sookiesookie @myaraines @cafehyunji @6-noir @ventingfanfics @ririslove @marsolgy (comment if you wanna be tagged in future fics, 18+ please)

Writers Note: this is 100% inspired by @oceean and her story as well as her nerd!shuri head cannons she wrote, I fell in love instantly and just knew I had to write her! Thank you so much for your inspiration! I was also inspired by at least 2 of @pocketsizedpanther writing prompts (I won’t say which ones until the end) but thank you so much to you both for your incredible ideas! I apologize in advance for some of the readers actions but bear with me…enjoy this filthy fic!

❁ཻུ۪۪♡ The night before clouded your mind as you sat with the girl in front of you: Amari. While she wasn't officially your girlfriend, she meant more to you than just "friends with benefits" as defined by society. Amari fucked you hard enough to keep you around, yet you hoped she would take the initiative to make your whatever relationship you had with her official. However, that day never arrived, leaving you questioning if it ever would. And it’s not like you were afraid to take charge and ask her to be yours, but deep down you knew she simply wanted to have a good time with you, using you at her own convenience and keeping you close without the obligations of having to care for you beyond your body's physical needs, without having to love you beyond the way you made each other feel in bed.

And that is why your mind wandered to your previous night.

Your academic abilities were never impressive; in fact, you often questioned your overall intelligence, especially considering your past choices in romantic partners. However, Shuri willingly stepped in to assist you with your studies. Yet, the more time she spent helping you, the more you became aware of her remarkable beauty—the sharp contours of her face and the enticing fullness of her lips. Unable to resist, you found yourself captivated by her gaze, leading to an unexpected, breathtaking kiss between you both. It caught you both off guard but possessed a mesmerizing allure. She treated you delicately, and that moment was all it amounted to—a kiss that stirred emotions within you that you weren't certain you wanted to experience, yet undeniably, you did.

A firm kiss on your knuckles brought from Amari’s lips settled your mind back to her and your surroundings. Once she realized she had your attention, Amari reached out, intertwining her fingers with yours and placing another kiss upon your knuckles, evoking a forced laugh from you.

“What’s wrong, y/n? You’ve been quiet the whole time and don’t say ‘nothing’ cause I know your ass don’t know when to shut up, always talking. So what’s wrong?”

Nothing was wrong, per se, but how were you gonna tell her how you invited Shuri to your little brunch ‘date’? It was hardly a date though. Amari didn’t take you out on dates.

“Nothing,” you replied, subtly rolling your eyes in a way that you had hoped she wouldn’t notice but she did.

“I saw that.”

“You saw what?”

“You always rolling your eyes at something, so tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong, I should probably just tell you I invited Shuri today. She’ll probably be here soon actually.”

“Shuri? Like…Udaku?”

“No, the other Shuri,” you replied sarcastically, rolling your eyes yet again.

“The fuck? What is she coming here for?”

Truth be told, you weren’t entirely certain what possessed you to invite Shuri to your brunch with Amari. You didn't even bother mentioning to Shuri that she would be there. But what you were certain of was this: you desired to experience her presence once more, to have her in a space that extended beyond the confines of your bedroom. You longed to observe how she would make you feel while Amari stood before you, curious if her mere presence would overshadow Amari's, despite your hopes that it wouldn't.

“Because why the fuck not? No one ever invites her to anything and plus she’s always helping me and shit with literally…everything. She deserves to get out every once in a while.”

The cafe was fairly quiet, allowing the gentle jingle of the door chime to catch both of your attentions simultaneously. It was Shuri, looking slightly awkward with her book bag slung over her shoulder and a petite bouquet of flowers in her hand. Amari couldn't help but release a soft yet teasing chuckle, prompting you to retaliate by lightly hitting her shoulder.

“Be nice,” you demand.

“Yuh huh.”

“I’m being for real, don’t fuck around.”

“Yeah y/n, whatever.”

Shuri scanned the café until her gaze finally locked onto yours. An intense gulp passed through her, her grip tightening on the book bag as she navigated her way toward the two of you. Seeing you accompanied by another person caused her head to droop slightly, her heart sinking as she held onto the bouquet of yellow and pink tulips. While taking her seat at the vacant spot around the table, she licked her lips causing Amari to release yet another derisive chuckle. You glared at her, using your eyes as a means to tell her to shut up.

“Shuri, Amari. Amari, Shuri,” you say, acquainting the two girls to one another.

“Hi,” Shuri responds, making eye contact with no one but the wooden table underneath her. For a brief moment, a pang of guilt washed over you. You could simply sense the deep nervousness emanating from Shuri's entire being, evident in her difficulty to maintain eye contact with either of you. You alone had the power to make her tremble, make her trip over her words, but with Amari now present in the equation, her nervousness seemed to escalate beyond measure.

Amari looked at you, raising an eyebrow in question of your decision to invite her here but you shrug your shoulders back at her. Initially, you made an effort to engage Shuri in small talk, but your questions were met with short responses, her voice trembling with nerves. It reached a point where frustration and annoyance welled up within you, irritated by how Amari seemed to have Shuri so flustered. As a result, you chose to ignore Shuri for the remainder of the brunch as you indulged in flirtatious behavior with Amari. You sulked in every kiss and hold she gave you, fully aware that Shuri was observing, despite her attempts to appear uninterested. Shuri eventually retrieved her work from her book bag, delicately placing her textbook on the table as she chose to focus on her tasks rather than the moments you were sharing with someone else. An eye roll escaped you once more, a sign of your annoyance. You couldn't help but perceive her as a bit of a loser—a cute one, admittedly, but still a loser.

The brunch gradually drew to a close, marked by a scarcity of conversation between you and Shuri, who remained absorbed in her own world, diligently attending to her tasks. You exchanged your goodbye’s with Amari as she made her way out, allowing a sense of relief to settle over you. At last, you found yourself alone with Shuri.

You turn your body to face hers and for the first time in what seems like the whole time she was there, her eyes met yours. You ignored the way your heart skipped a beat with the way her gaze made you feel, eyeing the bouquet of tulips that rested beside her text book.

“Who are these for?,” you teased, plucking a petal off and flicking it at her face. Shuri winced at the gesture, pressing her glasses into her face as she gathered the courage to tell them they were meant for you. The sight of Amari holding your hand, kissing you, embracing your body made her feel small. Weak. Nothing compared to the sharp presence the other girl carried.

“Well…I brought them for you but then…I saw you with her. So nevermind I guess.”

A gentle chuckle escaped your lips, a mix of delight and uncertainty, as you appreciated the gesture of her gift. Being given flowers was a new experience for you, especially after sharing such a small, insignificant moment. Shuri, however, looked down in a state of embarrassment, wishing to disappear into a void as she set the flowers on the ground. She found no amusement in the situation but your laughter persisted, raising her sense of humiliation. Gradually, your laughter subsided as you composed yourself to find the right words.

“No Shuri, no. I love them, it’s just…look baby. Just because we shared some lame kiss last night doesn’t make us lovers, ok? Don’t get that shit twisted.” Your words were a bit harsh, that you can admit, but you wanted the point to get to her. “Do you understand me?”

She nods and a small smile appears on your face. “Good.”

You look down at her work, almost entranced by numbers and letters that scatter across her paper in patterns unknown to you. Truly, you couldn’t care less about what she was working on, but you wanted to hear Shuri talk, listen to her voice and the quality it carried.

“What’s that you’re working on, baby?” Your tone was low, sultry, a tool to invite her in to observe the way she would give into you. She looked up at you, a hint of thrill masking her beautiful face at the question and your heart grew at the way she lit up. She began to talk about nonsense that meant nothing to you, growing in excitement as you grew in boredom. True to your slightly mean nature, you yawned, almost intentionally knocking down her enthusiasm and her face grew saddened, choking down her words as you belittled her.

“Come on Shuri, I’m playing. You know I don’t actually care about this shit. Don’t act all surprised now.”

Shuri sighs, shutting the textbook as she stuffs it back in her book bag. She stands up, preparing to leave and her action catches you off guard.

“Uh uh..sit down. Where do you think you’re going?”

“I…why did you invite me here? You clearly don’t want me to be here and you’re being mean.”

You couldn’t help but let out another small laugh. As much as you were trying to fess up to her, fit into her bubble, she made you giggle. You grabbed her wrist, pulling her back down onto her chair and she complied without objection. You tenderly pinched her jaw, forcing her to look at you because you were tired of the lack of eye contact she was making with you.

“I’m not being mean, Shuri, you’re just too easy to poke fun at. Loosen up and have a little fun.”

Her eyes beamed at you, a sly smile appearing on her face as you began to subtly caress her strong features. She surrendered to your touch willingly, almost as though she had yearned for this moment for an eternity. Your fingers brushed against her glasses, causing Shuri to instinctively recoil ever so slightly from your embrace.

“What’s the matter? You look adorable in these,” you mention, lightly tapping the frame. You pull them off of her in a playful manner and instant fear strikes her gaze.

“Please don’t…don’t break them please.”

You smile, placing them on your face. You scan the room, unable to see a thing through her glasses.

“Damn, Shuri. You got some shitty ass prescription, don’t you?”

Her throat tightens as she struggles to respond, fearing that you may damage her glasses. You observe her unease, her fidgeting, yet you choose to disregard it. Instead, you open up your Snapchat camera, relishing in how pretty you feel in her glasses.

“How do I look?,” you asked playfully, ruffling your fingers through your curls. Shuri’s eyes disconnected from yours once more, looking down at the ground as she mumbled.

“You look really pretty, y/n.”

You clenched her jaw once more, this time with a tad bit more force as you made her eyes bore into yours for what you hoped to be the last time.

“Hmmm? Look at me angel when you say shit like that. Again, Shuri. How do I look?” You found immense satisfaction in the power dynamics that enveloped your interactions with her. The dominance you exuded in her presence delighted you to no end. Shuri's trembling before you served as a subtle affirmation of her desire, a constant reminder of how deeply she yearned to be with you and it made you feel desirable; a feeling you hardly felt when you were with Amari.

“Y-you look really pretty…with my glasses on.”

You smile tenderly, placing the glasses on her face as you bop her nose with your finger, making you both giggle. Her smile made you feel warm.

“There’s a party going on tonight, can you come please?” You weren’t going to take no for an answer.

“I’m not really a party person, y/n. Plus I got stuff to do.”

“Yeah? Like what? Sit at home and do this boring shit all day?,” you say, mentioning Shuri’s school work. “Have some fun for once. And I’m not taking no for an answer.” Although your words were demanding, your tone was soft, more gentle as you didn’t want to frighten the already trembling Shuri in front of you.

“I’m not leaving here until you agree…I wanna see you again Shuri.”

She grapples with crafting a response to your stern words, driven by a strong desire to satisfy you and bring you joy, because she too wanted to spend time with you, engage in conversation, but ultimately, she craved your undivided attention. She longed for you exclusively and alone.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, Shuri? Speak to me.”

“Where’s the party gonna be?,” she mumbles, and this time you allow it.

“At Amari’s house.”

She subtly crinkles her nose, a faint eye roll following and you raise an eyebrow at her mannerisms. You were well aware of the motive behind her reaction, but you wanted to hear it verbalized by her.

“What?”

“What?”

“What’s wrong with Amari’s house?”

“Nothing…”

“Then what’s the long face for, Shuri?”

She releases a weary sigh, opting to remain silent as you patiently anticipate an answer she chooses not to provide. You roll your eyes in response as you pull out your phone to text her the address.

“Party starts at 9:00, I’ll see you there. And it’s not a question.”

As she attempts to open her mouth in protest, you swiftly bring your finger to her lips, silencing any words before they can escape. The tension in her throat becomes apparent as she swallows hard, the bobbing motion a testament to her internal struggle. With a tender kiss upon her lips, you convey your longing to meet again without having to explicitly acknowledge it verbally. But to Shuri, it meant something completely different; she yearned for you deeply but you just didn’t have the capacity to reciprocate her needs. Not yet anyway.

“I’ll see you later, Shuri.” Your final words before taking off, leaving Shuri with nothing but the pink and yellow tulips she brought for you.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You leaned your body into Amari’s, red cup in both of your hands as you indulged in the liquid inside. The pulsating music coursed through your veins, dictating your every movement as you sensually pressed your body against the woman behind you.

“You look so sexy tonight,” Amari whispered into you, her voice sending a deep chill up your spine.

“Yeah…that’s all I look like to you nowadays.”

“What does that mean?”

You took another sip of your drink, savoring the sting that poured down your throat.

“Nothing,” you replied. You continued to sway in rhythm, moving sensually as Amari handled every inch of your body like she owned you. It seemed as though she genuinely desired you, and for an instant, her actions almost swayed you. You were aware of what she craved in that very moment – she yearned for your submission, for your vulnerability, wanting you to surrender completely to her touch. And with each passing second, you found yourself succumbing a little more to her allure. However, your attention abruptly shifted as you noticed who had just entered through the door; her bookbag on her shoulder while still grasping onto the tulips you were meant to take earlier and your heart sank at the image. You had underestimated the hurt that Shuri must have felt, leaving behind the flowers she had brought you. Your mind had been too preoccupied with other matters to fully comprehend your actions.

“I’ll be right back,” you spat, chugging down your last bit of alcohol.

“Where you going, baby?”

“I said I’ll be back.”

Amari picked up on your tone and you're thankful she chose not to engage in an argument at that moment. She pulled you closer, pressing your back into her chest as she placed a tipsy kiss into your cheek before harshly letting your body go. Shuri patiently waited for you by the door, visibly exhaling with relief as you made your way towards her. With a discreet gesture, you beckoned Shuri to step aside, hoping to avoid Amari's notice. You appreciated the fact that Amari resided in a spacious house with several roommates, as it allowed you to swiftly guide Shuri into the bustling crowd, sinking into a secluded corner where prying eyes would not find you. Shuri trembled, but this was nothing unfamiliar. It was precisely the way you wanted her to be.

“You made it,” you playfully remarked, draping your arms around her neck, initiating a gentle swaying motion in sync with the music. Shuri quickly caught on to your intentions, recognizing your subtle efforts to coax her into dancing with you.

“I-I’ve never done this before,” she stammers, clearly tense from her own self-doubt.

“You’re doing amazing, baby, just follow my movements.”

It took a moment or two, but Shuri gradually let her guard down, slowly allowing herself to indulge in the intoxicating combination of your presence and the music. Once you notice her growing comfort in your embrace, you dangerously decide to escalate the intensity. You spun your body around, pressing your back into her chest and it initially caught her off guard, but she adjusted to the new dynamic. You gently pressed your ass into her crotch area, igniting a deep fire within Shuri that caused her face to grow warm. You smiled, because even though she wasn’t directly facing you, you could sense the heavy pound of her heart break out of her chest and fall onto your back.

“Just relax, Shuri,” you whispered and she obliged, resting her head into your shoulder and you couldn’t help but notice the dampness that began to form in between your legs. It was silly to you, how easily you became aroused with Shuri with just her presence alone. She bravely pecked a kiss into your neck and you figured that was your que.

“Wanna go upstairs?”

“Hmm?”

You turned around to face her, met with a body that screamed in fear but eyes that longed in desperation.

“You heard me, baby. Answer me.”

Her head sunk low as she gathered the courage to reply to you. Shuri wanted you desperately. She wanted to explore you, feel you, make you feel good and watch you as you gave into her touch. This, her mind was absolutely sure of so she did not let her mouth betray her. Not this time.

“Yeah.”

“Louder Shuri, I can’t hear you.”

“Yes, y/n. I wanna go upstairs.”

You smile. “Perfect.”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

“What’s on your mind, Shuri? Open yourself to me.”

Shuri’s hands trembled, her palms growing sweaty as she anxiously waited for you to make the first move. For a moment, the room seemed to close in on her, suffering her with a mix of anticipation and self-doubt but once you pressed your lips into hers, it was as if all fear had been lifted, basking in the way you carried the kiss. You wrapped your arms around her neck, your nose bumping her glasses and you giggled at the touch. Your lipgloss smears on her lips, and she savors the taste of you, lingering in the love you gave her now.

“You’re so beautiful Shuri,” you say, and you mean it with every fiber of your being. “Tell me you want this, that you crave this as much as I do. I want to know that you’re ok.”

“I want this,” she replies instantly, her fast response quickening the beat of your heart and the beat that began rising in between your thighs. “I want you so bad, y/n.”

Shuri scrunches your mini dress up to your hips, her eyes growing wide at the damp spot that formed on your panties. You opened your legs wide for her as she became more and more mesmerized with the way you soaked through the material.

“C-can I touch you? Please…?”

“My legs are open for you, baby. Do whatever the hell you want to me.”

She swallows, consuming a huge intake of oxygen as her fingers trace the contours of your body. With affectionate care, she caresses you, as if desiring to prolong this moment indefinitely. Once her hands find your pussy, she pulls off the fabric and swiftly discards it aside, all while her eyes become deeply fixated on your glistening center. Without delay, she glides her tattooed fingertips between your sticky folds, causing you to sharply inhale at the sensation. Your nerves quiver under her touch as she drags her fingers across your pounding clit. She takes the tips of her index and middle fingers and applies pressure to the sensitive bud, moving them in a circular motion that forces a moan to escape your throat.

“Do you like this?,” she asked and you grew confused because here you were, a moaning mess with her fingers covered in your slick and she was asking if you liked it.

“Yes, unh, yes Shuri…ooo fuck yes. Just like that baby, keep going. Unh.”

Her hands were skillful, pressing into your bundle of nerves that made your throb intensify, your gut beginning to clench as you felt your release approach. Shuri skillfully directed her fingers down to your entrance, pressing against your tight opening without fully submerging herself into you. She traced delicate circles around your entrance, watching the way you squirmed in desperation as your pussy grappled with her fingers, trying to draw her in. A crooked smile graced Shuri’s face as she witnessed how hungry your body grew for her, how needy your pussy became for fingers and the sight of you made her own pussy clench around nothing. Finally, she dipped her fingers into you, and your mouth fell open in awe as her skilled digits effortlessly found that precise spot inside you that yearned for her touch.

“Oh my god, Shuri, yes. YES. Right there.”

She thrusted into you, your pussy clenching her fingers frantically as your legs squeezed together in pleasure, but Shuri wasn’t having it. She wanted to see you, get lost in the sight of your longing and how much your pussy swallowed her fingers.

“Please y/n, keep your legs open. I want to see you.”

With a deliberate motion, she spread your legs apart once more, granting herself a perfect vantage point of what belonged to her. She observed you intently, studying the way your mouth dropped open, the way your eyes rolled back and refocused to meet her gaze, the way her name sounded falling off your pretty, sinful lips.

“You’re so pretty.”

And with that, she brought her fingers from her other hand into play, pressing them against your sensitive clit while her other hand remained immersed in your soaked pussy.

“Tell me what you’re feeling, y/n. I wanna know that I’m making you feel good.”

“Shuri…fuck. Oh my god…you make me…you make my pussy feel so fucking good.”

And this much was true. A feeling that left your entire body tingling, your chest heaving up and down as you struggled to keep up with your shattered breathing pattern.

“Mmm. H-how are you s-so…unh…fuck…so good at this? UNH.”

“I know my human anatomy very well.”

“Of course y-you do, baby. Of course you fucking do. Shit. FUCK. I’m gonna…fuck Shuri.”

“You’re close. I can feel it, y/n.” She was absolutely correct. “Can I taste you?”

Your head swings forward in surprise at her question, almost inclined to shake your head in disagreement as you were already overwhelmed with the way Shuri was fucking you like you meant nothing and everything all at once; but there was a desperate plea of innocence coated in Shuri’s eyes for how much she longed to place her mouth in between your thighs that made it so much more difficult to deny her request.

“Go ahead Shuri, taste me.”

With wide eyes and a shy grin, she positions your legs over her shoulders, eagerly indulging in the act of pleasuring you with the ways of her tongue and the way she devours you is nothing short of orgasmic bliss.

“Ah! Oh my fuck, Shuri. UNH.”

The Shuri who could calculate the most impossible calculations in a spliff or create the most inventive of things in days was sucking your drenched pussy as if you were her own experiment, her own assignment to complete until you were shivering in her grasp.

Her tongue was skillful, coated with your cream as she flicked and pressed into you. She brought her chin and nose into play, swiping through your slit and the sensation was euphoric, sending electric waves throughout your pussy that radiated throughout the rest of your body in thick motions.

“Oh fuck Shuri, fuck baby, keep doing that. You’re doing in-incredible. Mmm, yeah, Unh.”

You looked down at her, dark orbs never leaving your gaze as she basked in the sight of you. She wanted to keep you like this forever, and this proved evident through the way she placed her fingers back into your snug cunt.The overwhelming pleasure consumed you as her tongue caressed your clit and her fingers delved inside, expertly targeting your g-spot simultaneously. The sensation of her glasses brushing against your inner thighs heightened the experience, as she continued to ask for your reassurance.

“Please, y/n. Tell me how I’m doing. Do you feel good?,” she asked before proceeding to suck on your puffy clit.

“I’m so wet for you, Shuri. Don’t stop…I’m s-so close. Fuck .”

You placed your hand on the top of her head, grasping her soft curls as her fervent stimulation at your core became sloppier and heavier. Your pussy clenched her fingers, your clit fluttering against her taste buds and the double penetration propelled you swiftly towards your climax. With a few more dual pumps and licks, you were sent over the edge, completely vanquished from head to toe by the deep and slow pulsations that coursed through your pussy walls.

“Yeah! YEAH! AHH…yes Shuri, oh my…f-FUCK.”

Your cries in pleasure did not force Shuri to stop her movements both in and on you, continuing to fuck you as your cunt spasmed beneath her touch, your vision becoming nothing but a foggy haze.

“Shit Shuri, I’m cumming babe, I’m cumming!,” you struggled to say, trying to squirm out of her grasp.

“I know. I heard you. I just like seeing you like this,” she hums into your pussy.

She released her fingers from inside you as she stuck her tongue out fully, allowing you to ride your throbbing clit against her tongue. Your slick was audible against her, a loud sloshing sound that mixed in with your vile moans; a musical duo that made Shuri’s pussy clench in satisfaction.

“SHURI.”

As your mind and body struggled to descend from your blissful high, the shaking girl beneath you raised her body to meet your gaze once again. Her face bore the evidence of your intimate encounter as your cum glistened against her, staining the lenses of her glasses. You reached out your hand to caress her cheek in an attempt to soothe her nerves.

“W-what’s wrong baby? Why are you shaking?,” you managed to say through your own post-orgasmic state.

“Was…was that ok?”

You almost scoff at her unbelievable question.

“Baby…your head was between my trembling thighs and my pussy’s still beating …how are you even asking me this shit right now?”

She remains silent as her eyes scan your face, never quite connecting with yours as her face flushed with warmth. Your lips press against hers, savoring in your flavor, and she responds with a soft yet passionate moan.

“Let me take care of you, Shuri,” you say, beginning to unbuckle her pants but she holds your wrists, pausing you midway. With a deep inhale, she presses her forehead on yours, bringing your knuckles to her lips.

“Not tonight, y/n. I just wanted to make you feel good.” Her voice was low and husky, probably the clearest words she’s spoken today and it made your pussy pulse. She reaches down beside the bed, grabbing the flowers you were meant to take earlier. They weren’t as fresh as they first were, but the gesture made you want to cry.

“Fine…but don’t think I’m done with you,” you replied, retrieving the pink and yellow tulips. “I’ll see you tomorrow? 4:30? I need help with another assignment.”

“I’ll be there.”

After planting a final kiss on her swollen lips, you make your way to the bathroom to freshen up. It's important to you that there is no evidence of Shuri's touch remaining on your body when you return to face Amari. You know that she will undoubtedly be curious about your absence at this very moment, although deep down, you're aware that she doesn't genuinely care.

You make your way to the bathroom to restore yourself. With a touch of powder, you freshen your face and carefully apply a new layer of gloss to your lips. You took a moment to adjust your dress, which no longer hugs your body as it should, and ensure it falls perfectly. With a final adjustment to your hair, you gaze at the reflection before you, appreciating the image that stares back. You discard the flowers into the trash as it was the final evidence of your time with Shuri before heading downstairs to rejoin the party.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

The next day approaches, waking up in your dorm room with Amari beside you, both of you absolutely fucked out from the intense night you two shared after the party. You groaned in frustration, pulling your blanket over your head as your previous night came flooding back to memory. You looked at your clock that read 4:17pm and you cursed under your breath immediately.

“Shit, shit, shit.”

The realization dawns on you that you had completely lost track of time after the party. It was nearly 4 am when you finally made it back to your room, fucking with Amari for a good amount of time after before you had finally passed out from exhaustion. Shuri promised she’d be in for 4:30pm to help with your assignment and you were far from ready. You opened your messages to text her, hoping she’d be ok to reschedule for a later time.

*Hey does 7 work? I got caught up in some shit*

Three bubbles pop up on the screen almost immediately.

*Yeah, that works.*

*thank youuuuu*

*you’re welcome :).*

You started pushing at Amari to wake her up. “Babe, wake up. I got shit to do.”

“Hmmmm?,” she replies, still half asleep.

“I said get up. I need you to go.”

After a few minutes, she finally gets up, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Damn y/n, what’s the rush?”

“We overslept.”

“It’s a sunday babe, we can sleep however long we want.”

You sigh, pinching the top of your nose as you inhale deeply. “Look Amari, I just need you to go. I got shit to do.”

“What’s with the fucking attitude?”

Truthfully, you weren’t entirely sure where the sudden attitude was coming from but what you did know was you were beginning to grow deeply frustrated with how much Shuri was fogging your mind.

“I ain’t got no damn attitude but I will if you don’t get the fuck out of here.”

Amari scoffs. “The fuck is your damn problem? Don’t tell me this has anything to do with that girl.”

“Don’t know who you’re talking about.”

“Uh huh. I ain’t stupid, I saw those flowers in the trash can yesterday. Those same damn pink and yellow flowers. Who were you with last night when you were gone?”

A tight feeling began to wrench in your gut, accompanied by a sense of embarrassment short after.

“You just opening your legs for anybody now??”

“Does that bother you??”

“Yes that fucking bothers me, y/n.”

“I don’t see what your damn problem is with that, we ain’t even together.”

“Here your fucking ass goes again with this stupid conversation.”

You theatrically express your annoyance, intending to make your way towards the bathroom, but Amari seizes your wrist, halting you from proceeding forward. She loomed over you as she rose to her feet, and a brief surge of fear gripped you as her anger became transparent. Her eyes grew in that sense of possession that flared up everytime she thought you had been with someone else.

“Just can’t keep your legs closed, huh?”

“What is it to you?? What am I to you?? Besides a pussy you can fuck whenever you want because you know I’m so fucking easy.”

She lets go of your wrist, taking her place back down on the edge of the bed.

“She ain’t ever gonna fulfill your needs, princess. You’re too much of a brat.”

“I’m only that way when people bring that shit side outta me! How many times have I made it clear that I wanted you?? And you lured me in just to keep me around at your damn convenience, I’m sick of being your plaything!”

“Well apparently you for everybody now, so I don’t know why you’re so upset.”

Your frustration grew exponentially the more words pooled out of Amari’s mouth, driving you to a point where you could no longer tolerate being around her. You made your way towards the door, opening it with a deep aggravation.

“Leave.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I said leave. I don’t wanna see you.”

She snickers under her breath, making her way towards the door. Before she exits, she pauses at the threshold, turning around to face you as she leans on the doorframe.

“I’ll be at my place when you're done being a bitch.”

You roll your eyes at her, nudging her body out of the door frame before slamming the door in her face. Amari’s laugh rings through the door causing a shiver down your spine.

“Ain’t no way some nerd gonna fuck that pussy better than I can, y/n!,” she yells through the door. You exhale in relief, grateful to finally be alone.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

As 7pm approaches, you prepare yourself, donning a stylish two-piece pajama set that accentuates your figure just right, revealing the perfect hint of cleavage without appearing overly eager. You gathered your curls to the top of your head in a pineapple hairstyle and lightly applied makeup to rejuvenate your complexion. When the doorbell chimed, excitement surged through you, though you tempered your emotions. You opened the door to Shuri wearing a modest smile. You welcomed her inside, noticing a hint of weariness and sadness in her eyes, but you chose to ignore it for the time being.

“Hey y/n,” she said, and you most definitely noticed her eyes trail to your chest for a split second.

“Oh my god, thank you so much Shuri for rescheduling, some shit happened earlier and I just couldn’t fucking make it, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s ok.”

The evening progressed with Shuri assisting you, fulfilling her usual role, yet an inevitable tension filled the room, causing your muscles to tense, a sensation you were able to contain. Shuri, on the other hand, struggled to maintain her composure, her voice quivering and her hands trembling with increase as the study session unfolded. Although she helped you as she normally would, her words were briefer than usual, and you couldn't help but detect a subtle undertone of attitude in her words. You allowed the tension to soak up a bit more, until you realized you had both reached your limit.

“Shuri, baby, what’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

Of course she was going to play dumb.

“Don’t give me that. Don’t act like you ain’t got a little attitude right now, you think I don’t notice? Shuri, you’re shaking.”

Shuri looked away, purposefully avoiding both you and your question, seemingly hoping that you would relent and let the matter go. But she should have been aware by now that you were persistent in getting what you want…almost always. Determined, you firmly clasped her jaw, gripping her chiseled face tightly, as if to convey that this should be the final instance of reminding her to maintain eye contact when speaking to you.

“Shuri, my eyes are here. How many fucking times do I got to force your eyes on me?”

She trembled within your grasp, your signal to loosen your grip on her.

“Now talk to me…what the fuck is your problem?”

You let go of her as she takes a sharp inhale. “I saw her…come out of your dorm earlier…what-why was she here?”

“Who? Amari? Yeah, and what about it?”

“I…why was she there? What even am I to you?”

You erupted into a bitter, cynical laughter, a sound that pierced through the air causing Shuri's entire being to tremble, while her heart sank in despair. The minute you left her side last night, she grew overwhelmed with an intoxicating love for you. Seeing, tasting, touching, smelling and hearing you in the most intimate of ways while you cried out her name made her fall deep. However, arriving at your dorm mere minutes before your scheduled meeting, only to witness Amari exiting your room, shattered her in ways she never thought imaginable.

“Shuri…Shuri be fucking for real,” you finally say, coming back down from your laughter. “What are you to me?? Real question is who do you think you are to me? Cuz you out here acting like we dating just cuz we fucked once, buying me flowers and shit. You need to chill.”

The room fell into an oppressive silence as your words pierced right through her; the sadness, the heartbreak, it was all etched on her face but she knew where you were speaking from. She recognized the source of your words, realizing that you, too, spoke from a place of wounded vulnerability, pouring from a fear of receiving the care and treatment you deserved for far too long now. This understanding resonated within her, for she understood all too well but the impact of your words hurt her, and she grew weary of your indecisive language.

“Where did you put the flowers, y/n?”

“Huh?”

“You heard me.”

“After all I just said, you worried about some damn flowers?? I tossed them in the trash.”

Determined not to shed tears in your presence, Shuri started gathering her belongings, preparing to leave the room and undoubtedly escape from your hurtful presence. It was in that poignant moment that you finally recognized you had overstepped a boundary. As you observed Shuri, you saw yourself reflected in her, witnessing the vulnerability of her shattered heart so openly displayed, just as you had once felt when Amari had treated you similarly. This realization struck you deeply—this time, you were the one inflicting pain, resembling the role Amari had played in your own life.

“Wait…Shuri, please. I’m sorry.”

She didn’t dare turn around while she continued to slip on her shoes, determined to leave through the door and leave you behind forever. Despite your initial resistance, you couldn't help but allow your guard to crumble, impulsively rushing towards her and enveloping her in a tight embrace. The intensity of the hug was so overwhelming that it felt as though your ribs might just crack under the pressure.

“What are you doing, y/n?”

“Please don’t go. I’m just…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Shuri.” You loosened your grip, wrapping your arms around her neck as she looked down at you. “Just…please don’t leave. Please.”

In a fleeting moment, soft glances were exchanged, and Shuri's eyes involuntarily drifted down to your lips, though she attempted to make it not seem so.

“You wanna kiss me, baby?”

She nodded.

“Then do it.”

She paused for a moment before pressing her lips into yours. Both of you embraced each other with a deep intensity, as if you had both yearned for this moment with equal longing, and as if it was a moment you wished to hold onto indefinitely. She grabbed your thigh, wrapping it around her waist as she drove herself deeper into the kiss, pulling a moan out of you that drove her insane. She was wet, absolutely salivating over you and you needed her. All of her. You wanted to hear her, taste her in the most intimate of ways. She picked you up, gently placing you back onto your bed. You wrapped your legs around her, trapping her body into yours as you continued to consume one another through heated kisses.

“I…I have something for you,” she admitted.

“Yeah? And would that be?”

“I-I want to try something…with you…if you’re ok with it.”

“I’m down for anything, my love. Just tell me what you need.”

Shuri's body shuddered against you at the choice of your words, "my love." She was aware of the potential regrets that may come from surrendering herself to you wholeheartedly, uncertain of the person you would be tomorrow but the power of your words and the warmth of your embrace compelled her to cast aside her concerns and fully surrender to you, embracing this ephemeral moment where you belonged to one another.

“I made a…a…strap.”

You raised an eyebrow at her. “You made one? You did not...”

“I did though. I made it so I can feel you like it was my own, I’ll be able to feel you wrapped around me.”

Her words ignited a warmth within you, causing your heart and pussy to pound in unison, your body aching to feel her. In that moment, she became your genius, playing with fire as she brought her invention into the picture. With a gentle touch, you caressed her face and she relished in the lingering embrace between you both.

“My poor princess, I’ve corrupted you…haven’t I?”

Her face wore a smile that was impossible for her to suppress, ridding herself of her clothes while securing her strap around her waist. She gracefully leaped onto the bed, resting her back against the headboard and the sight of her made your already dampened folds even more so, adding to the throb that coursed between your thighs. Her dark skin was flawless, her breasts impeccably placed on her chest, and it was no secret that she had put a meticulous effort into the details of her strap as it was visually apparent.

“Take off your clothes y/n…please. I wanna see you.”

You obliged, removing yourself from your pajama set but keeping your undergarments on. You made your way towards her, wrapping your hand around her dick as you began to pump slowly and sensually causing her to breathe in sharply at the sudden contact. Your unwavering gaze penetrated deep into her soul, forcing a fragile moan to fall from her vulnerable lips.

“How many times a day do you think about me Shuri?,” you ask, your voice seeping in lust as you proceed to stroke her. Her throat bobbed as she swallowed hard. “Don’t be shy…tell me.”

“A…a lot.”

“Mhmmm…and what are we doing when you think about me?”

It was obvious she was trying to hold back, fighting inevitable moans that fought to escape the depths of her throat yet this only fueled you to pump her harder.

“Answer me when I’m talking to you baby.”

“Mmm, unh…we…we’re naked.”

“Don’t be shy, tell me what we’re doing.”

A soft whimper escapes her lips as your strokes push through her, revealing her struggle to maintain composure and hold herself together.

“I’m fucking you…with my dick.” Those were the most provocative words that have ever escaped her lip, a captivating melody to your ears that compelled you to keep going.

“There you go, my dirty fucking girl…was that so hard?”

She shakes her head back and forth as she finally lets her guard down, softly moaning at the throbbing sensation that coursed through her strap, pushing it back into her clit. You slowly caress her dick downwards, until your hand is wrapped at the base of her, leaving room for you to pull the rest of her into your mouth. You graze her tip with your tongue, circling around her and her breathing quickens. You waste no time pulling her all the way in, sucking on her while your hand works the base of her.

“Y/n…unh.”

Her moans began to escalate beyond her inability to swallow them down. This is exactly how you wanted her; helpless, wiggling under your control as you worked her through it. You push your mouth down on her, choking as your throat closes in around her girth. You felt everything, every twitch and every throb grazed the inside of your mouth only pushing you to keep going. Drool poured out of your mouth as her size blocked your airways, gagging and choking sounds coming from your throat as you sucked her like you hate her.

“Shit y/n…ah…bast.”

In that moment, she disregarded any concern for the intensity of her actions and the assault she had on your throat, fully immersed in the experience without regard for the impact it had on you. Your wet strokes and pumps sent her over the edge, a rhythmic wave-like sensation surged through her dick reaching towards her tender tip. She grabbed your curls, gently guiding your head to reach further, causing you to immediately gag as her tip hit the back of your throat.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” she manages to say between her breathy moans, but you kept going with no intention to stop until she spilled into your mouth. She created its size with true intention, wanting to feel you wholly and fully as she spread you open. She loved the way you looked, the way your mouth was so full of her and how your mascara poured down your cheeks as you maneuvered between sucking and choking below her.

“I’m…y/n I’m so close. Please don’t stop…please. Mmmm, ah.”

“Cum for me baby, spill into my mouth.”

Immediately, Shuri’s moans pierce your ears, an erotic scream filling the air as her thick cum poured into the back of your throat. You swallowed every drop of her, licking her tip dry as she wailed in pleasure.

“Shit y/n…oh my…ah-ohmygod!”

Your tongue swirls around her tip a few moments longer, and even though the sensation was overwhelming her, she allowed you to proceed. She let out a whimper, teetering on the edge of tears due to the slight overstimulation, yet the mere sight of you provided the strength to push through it. You bring your face up to meet hers, immediately pushing your tongue into her mouth as she tastes herself.

“You taste delicious,” you hummed. “What else do you wanna do with this?,” you ask, proceeding to stroke her with your hands. She doesn’t answer, instead shaking her head left and right frantically, her tip becoming so swollen with the way you continue to caress her.

“I…I can’t.”

“Ssshhh, yes you can princess, you can. You’re ok. Just tell me what you want.”

“Unh.”

“I can’t give you what you want if you don’t use your words, baby.”

She bit her bottom lip, holding back a quaking moan that sat on the edge of her tongue, overwhelmed with your words as your hand remained around her, squeezing just enough to soothe and intensify all at once.

“Y-y/n…I..unh…”

You grabbed her throat, pressing firmly into her windpipe that caused her to gasp and you smiled. You couldn't help but feel a deep admiration for the delicate and vulnerable appearance she presented in front of you, surrendering herself entirely to your control.

“Quit all that whimpering Shuri, talk to me. I wanna hear you say it.”

“I w-want you to f-fuck me. Please, y-y/n,” she struggled to respond between her trembling and your hand firmly wrapped around her throat.

“That’s a good girl…my pretty fucking princess.”

You let go of her throat, causing her to cough and you smirked at the sight. You took off your undergarments, leaving you entirely naked and open for Shuri’s gaze. You leaned back, opening your legs for her display and she practically salivated over the sheen dew that glazed your dark folds, paving way to the fleshy color that hid underneath. She attempted to crawl towards you, eager to rub you with her tip but you closed your legs instantly, pressing her back into the headboard behind her. You take your bra, tying her wrists together and she did nothing but let you, because she knew there was nothing she could do to stop you. She did not want you to stop.

“Give me a safe word, Shuri.”

“What?”

“A safeword…come up with one.”

“Tulips.”

“What?”

“T-tulips.”

You chuckled, absolutely drawn into her. You kissed her once more, and she moaned into your mouth.

“You got me fucked up, you know that?”

She nods vigorously.

“Now listen to me baby, I’m not gonna stop fucking you until I hear the word ‘tulips.” If you say ‘stop’, I’m not gonna stop. Do you hear me?”

She nods again and it’s not enough for you. You retaliate by snaking her throat once more, applying a firm pressure into her windpipe.

“Use your words. I wanna hear you, make sure you fully understand what I’m saying.”

“You’re not gonna s-stop fu-fucking me until I say ‘tulips’.”

“Perfect.”

You sling her constricted arms around your neck, her wrists still tied together with your bra as you gently place your pussy on top of her strap, swallowing her whole and you both moaned in unison. Her dick stretched you in ways you had never been before, in ways Amari had never done to you, initially creating a slight burn inside you but the more you bounced, the more your pussy became accustomed to her size. With each movement, you ascended and descended, leaving Shuri in awe as her jaw dropped, overwhelmed by the feel of your tight squeeze.

“Y/n…oh my…fuck.”

“That’s it, my love. Keep doing that. Just….fuck…unh, just let it out for me. Give it all to me.”

Both of you felt each other immensely; you felt her massage your throbbing walls, her tip pressing into your g-spot repeatedly while Shuri whimpered at your clench. Your movements were filthy, deliberate; pressing harder onto her dick with your needy grip. The sight of Shuri before you, completely vulnerable to your movements, was a sight you could cum from alone. Her mouth was open, moaning in her utmost pleasure as she watched the way your breasts bounced with your obscene tempo.

“Y/n…AH…I’m so close. You feel so good. W-wanna fill you up. Fill you u-up so f-fucking bad. Shit.”

She lost her mind the more you squeezed her, her mouth running obscenities in ways it never would if her body were not feeling this abundance of pleasure. She rolls her head back, her eyes following but you grab her chin, forcing her eyes on you.

“Look at me while you’re all fucked up, baby.”

She’s always had trouble with eye contact.

“UNH…y/n! AH.”

“What does it feel like, Shuri? Tell me how my pussy makes you fucking feel…shit.”

“I can-can’t. I can’t!”

“Yes you can…fuck. Yes you can.”

“Mmm.”

Once again, you grab her throat, wrapping both hands around her as you proceed to ride her. Her eyes bulge open, coming back to meet yours without hesitation as she attempts to breathe under your tight grasp. She so desperately wants to clasp your wrists or forearms for support, but her cuffed wrists will not allow it.

“Nod if you’re ok,” you demand for reassurance. She nods.

“Now tell me how I make you feel, Shuri.”

“You make me feel so good, y/n. You make my dick feel so fucking good, ah! I think I’m gonna c-cum.”

“Hold it.”

“I…I can’t, y/n, please.”

“Yes you can…and you will. Now open your mouth nice and wide for me.”

She obliged, her mouth wide open while her tongue sticks out, coated in her saliva, a perfect node for you to stick two of your own fingers down her throat and that’s exactly what you do. Shuri gags, a guttural sound as her throat bobs and it turns you on immensely. You do it again. And again. And she’s crying, tears spilling down her cheeks as your fingers plunge into her throat.

“You’re so beautiful, Shuri,” you moan, sucking harshly on her throat.

“Are y-you…close?”

“Don’t worry about me, baby. Shit…ah. This isn’t about m-me. Focus on you.”

“I’m gonna cum, y/n.”

“I know my love, I know. Go ahead….f-fucking spill for me.”

Shuri let loose a resounding scream, originating deep within her core and erupting from her mouth. Her moans carried a profound weight, echoing with sheer ecstasy, as you absorbed her throbbing dick that grazed your g-spot, her warm cum pouring inside you. It should have served as a warning, a signal to cease the merciless pumps, yet you persisted. Your pussy continued to caress her through it, fucking her until her sight became nothing but a black night. Tears cascaded down her cheeks, delicately clinging to her beautiful lashes at the way your pussy overwhelmed her.

“Bast…Y/n…pl-please. St-stop. UNH.”

“You want me to stop?”

“Mhmm.”

“Then look me in the eyes and tell me to stop.”

Her eyes come back to face you, her lenses stained with her tears that refuse to cease and she says nothing. Sobs rip from her mouth, a second orgasm approaching before she can even climb down from her first one.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Shuri’s heart rate escalates beyond control, her chest tightening as the room around her becomes a blur. She’s panting, moaning as she’s taking it all in. An immense build up of pressure builds up in her dick once more, and she cum’s for the second time.

“Y/N.”

You don’t stop. The third time.

“Fuck! ANH!”

Fourth.

“STOP!”

“Stop?”

“Mhmmm.”

“No.”

You readjust yourself so your back is facing her, giving her the most perfect view of the way your cunt swallows her whole. You’re both so wet, so stained with cum as you proceed your brutal movements. Her hands that were at the back of your neck, are now at the front as she brings one to wrap around your throat for leverage. At this point, you had given up holding your composure of wanting to hold back how she felt inside you because she was heavenly and the more orgasms she had, the more swollen she became, filling you up more and more as her tip repeatedly hit that sensitive patch inside you.

“Fuck Shuri…just right there…r-ight fucking there, baby.”

“Y/n…”

“Mmmm. You’re such a good girl, Shuri. Cum again. Fill me up.”

“Y/N! UNH!”

“SHURI!”

You made no attempt to hide your orgasm this time, allowing yourself to be completely unraveled by her and the way she felt inside you. The blood coursed through your walls, causing you to expand and compress as you moaned through your pleasure. You placed your hand on top of Shuri’s hand, the one that gently compressed your windpipe and you pressed down, wanting her to squeeze harder.

“Choke me, baby. Choke me while I’m cumming for you. Please.”

She swallowed down a sob, but managed to perform the act. Shuri pressed firmly into your throat, forcing drool to pour out of your mouth as she choked you through your orgasm.

“Y-YES. AH!”

“I’m cumming again y/n, I’m cumming!”

Her grip on your throat increased as she suffered through her orgasm, unaware of how much she was restricting your oxygen intake but you were ok with that. As her hold on you is released, you come back around to face her, beginning to ride again in a tempo that shows how tired you truly were.

“S-stop…please.”

“Hmmm…?”

For a moment the room went silent, with nothing but the resounding sloshing of your bodies becoming one down below. She looked so ruined, so completely overtaken by you and your body and she was beautiful. Her eyes were so full of suffering yet so gentle as she took in her last view of the picture you created on top of her. You too were fucked out, mascara ruined and curls no longer as perfectly coiled as they once were but she reveled in the sight of you before she said it:

“T-tulips.”

You exhale. You sat on top of her, holding her as her strap remained inside you and you remained that way until your breathing patterns became somewhat normal. You hopped off slowly and the caress made her flinch.

“You are incredible, Shuri.”

As you release her bound wrists, she flinches at the slight pain. Faint indentations mark her skin where the tight material had pressed into it, and you tenderly plant affectionate kisses on those marks, filled with care and affection.

“You’re so beautiful,” you say, proceeding to kiss her wrists.

“Kiss me,” she begs. “I need you.”

She appeared so desperate, overwhelmingly craving your presence in that moment, and you couldn't help but discreetly roll your eyes and let out a soft chuckle. Not because Shuri's plea bothered you, but because you had come to a realization that you needed her just as deeply.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You wake up to the embrace of unparalleled warmth, experiencing a level of comfort that had been absent from your life for some time. Shuri's tousled curls peek out from beneath the blanket as she lies beside you, her smell now sinking into its fabric. But that feeling was interrupted when you glanced at your phone and see numerous missed calls from Amari and you groaned in frustration as you pulled the blanket back over your head.

“Why is it you keep spending time with her if she makes you feel this way?,” Shuri asked, her voice startling you at first. She turned over to face you, both of you underneath your blanket.

“It’s none of your business, Shuri.”

For a moment, Shuri remained silent, a silence that became unsettling until she finally found her voice and spoke up for the first time.

“Last night you made me tell you what was bothering me, so now it’s your turn. Talk to me, y/n.”

“Uh huh…anyways.”

“Y/n.”

“What?”

“Can I tell you what I think?”

A genuine question, one that you know she’d most likely answer absolutely correctly and the thought bothered you, but you let her proceed anyway.

“Go ahead, Shuri. What will your brilliant mind conjure up this time?,” you say with an attitude causing Shuri to slightly giggle.

“I think you keep Amari around because…she makes you feel wanted just enough to make you stay. I think you’re a little broken, and it’s not your fault, because people keep hurting you. I think…I think you love deeply and passionately but you suppress that part of yourself because no one has ever made you feel the same, and so you dim your light in order to keep yourself from getting hurt again when in reality, all you want is to be loved the way you love.”

You felt a need to sob, to break down in front of her. You wouldn’t allow it, not yet anyway. You pulled yourself from underneath the blanket, and she did the same. She rests her back against your headboard and you straddle her, pulling her in for a kiss.

“And how did you figure all that out,” you say, allowing a feeble tear to escape your eye but you quickly wiped it away.

“I did really well in psychology.”

Her answer made you both laugh, a sound that made you desire her that much more.

“Of course you did, pretty girl…of course you did.”

“You know…you’re the first person to ever call me pretty. No one’s ever told me I was beautiful before.”

“What?? No way.” Your surprise was authentic, for while Shuri may not have been regarded as the epitome of coolness, she was undeniably one of the most breathtaking individuals you had ever encountered. Her visage possessed a divine quality, sculpted for the gods. Her curls sat perfectly on the top of her head, tumbling like a cascading waterfall upon her brow. Her lips were irresistible, difficult to pull away from, yet it was her eyes that captivated you the most. Deep and mysterious, almost concealed by her the frames that surrounded them, yet they always revealed a yearning that didn't go unnoticed by you.

You pull her in for a kiss once more, her lips leaving yours as she begins placing firm pecks into your neck. You grasp her curls, sulking in the way your body heated up at her touch.

“Can I taste you again? Please…”

“Damn…what’d I do to you?”

Shuri chuckles. “You’re so pretty y/n, literally the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

You feel a tear escape your duct once more and you do nothing to stop it.

“You have the most beautiful body, I love your stretch marks and your dimples on your back. And I love your rolls and your thick thighs, and I love how you’re unashamed to show them off. And this face…such a beautiful face.”

“Shuri…”

“And even though you’re mean, I kind of like that too. Because you’re a challenge…and I’m good at those.”

Her words flowed effortlessly, flawlessly woven together. It was a stark contrast to the hesitant, stuttering Shuri you had come to know. This version of Shuri standing before you had no trouble articulating her thoughts, stumbling over no obstacles. She exuded confidence in her desires, and her desire was directed solely at you. She nuzzled her face into the curve of your neck once more, sucking on the skin as she rendered you powerless. No one had ever made you feel this way, making love seem like a genuine and attainable possibility.

“Are you still gonna see Amari? Because I don’t want to have to compete for you…b-but I will if I have to because I want you.”

You remained silent for a moment as tears began shamelessly pooling out of your eyes as you grasp into her, holding her tightly as if it was your last time. A soft sob fell off your lips, pushing your face deeper into the nape of her neck. She smelt so good, a welcoming aroma that began to fog all your senses. Amari was no match for Shuri, there was never a moment you spent with her that made you feel as you’re feeling now with the woman before you at this very moment. Amari was one that only wanted you at her convenience, when you benefitted her, but Shuri…

“I want you, y/n…all the time and all to myself.”

“You don’t have to worry about her anymore, Shuri.”

You pull out your phone and block her immediately, your first sign to Shuri that she would have your full attention.

“Wow…look at you go,” she replies in a sarcastic tone.

“Oh, so you got jokes?”

“I’m actually really funny…you have yet to see that side of me.”

Vulnerability. Not your strongest suit, nor was it the easiest. But you wore it well. To Shuri, you looked beautiful, a testament to yourself that your heart was still as big and radiant as it once was, even after the numerous hurt you’ve endured that seemed to weather you down. And Shuri loved you, wanted to show you what it meant to feel as such, and for the first time in a long time, your shield of protection had been set aside as you allowed your tears to flow freely in expression of how much you absolutely loved her. ❁ཻུ۪۪♡

Prompts used by @pocketsizedpanther were:

Using Shuri’s throat as leverage while reader rides her

Tying her down and overstimulating her

[egeos]

egeos' hulknussen fic recommendations

so, you've heard of haasbands somewhere on tumblr, or maybe instagram, twitter; and want to know what it's all about. here's a list of fics I'd recommend!

I will be referencing the "eras" I divided their meta & fandom history into in my post "a brief look at the history of hulknussen on ao3". you can disregard the eras headlines if you don't care about when the fics are from, but if you have a preference towards one or more of the eras you can use the headlines to navigate.

if you don't feel like scrolling on tumblr, I have organized my bookmarks on ao3 to reflect this post (with some non hulknussen fics rec'd that you can filter out). the bookmarker's tags will include what era a fic falls into so you can filter according to that, as well. fics with a * to them are favourites of favourites. if you could only read a few, these are the ones I would absolutely tell you to read.

disclaimer: I tried my best to only link to fics of authors that were fine with having them referenced elsewhere. if the A/N of a work stated that they did not want the fic to be shared outside of ao3 I did not include it here. if I could find the author's tumblr I took that as a general "fine to link to". if your fic is on this list and I did not link to your tumblr it's because I couldn't find it at first glance; lmk and I'll happily add it! if your fic is on this list and you want it removed you can also let me know anytime, anywhere (even ao3 comments of an unrelated fic) and I'll remove it no questions asked.

hulknussen era: 2014-2017

SERIES: Effortless by F1_Rabbit / @f1rabbit rated g, nawa, total wc of 3.6k nico and kevin comforting each other and getting together —Sleepless, Powerless, Restless

—Up close and personal* by zeraparker / @zeraparker rated m, nawa, oneshot, 1.5k words nico and kevin celebrate nico's le mans win together

"suck my balls" era: 2017-2022

—suck my balls, honey by Pericardiaca / @iishmael rated e, nawa, oneshot, 2.7k words make up sex after hungary

—Relax into my touch, honey by wafflesandpancakes rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 2.5k words nico has a bad race in in germany and kevin comforts him (smut included)

—Not only my language is bi by wafflesandpancakes rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 2.1k words character study ish, mild angst with semi graphic smut. nico has just lost out on the renault and the haas seat (2019) and doesnt know what the future holds for him.

—suck my balls, honey by lewisshamilton / @lewisshamilton rated e, ccntw, 3/3, 11.1k words part of a youtuber au series, but you do not need to read it to get this. the summary calls it "[...] three times Hulk swore himself to not sleep with Kevin again and three times he failed miserably" which pretty much sums it up.

—Polonium* by Anonymous rated t, nawa, oneshot, 1.4k words nico losing his seat leads to kevin and nico's break up. kevin spends the winter break grieving the relationship. angst galore (very good)

—det vil ikke blive nemt men det vil blive det hele værd by wafflesandpancakes rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 3.3k words au; nico is at a business party in denmark, kevin celebrating his graduation. they get to know each other ft smut at the end

—we drift and we call it dreaming* by bottasvaltteri / @bottasvaltteri rated t, nawa, oneshot, 3.3k words kevin runs a tattoo shop with nico as his employee and boyfriend. everything is great, except there is a fantasy world in his head where he drives fast cars and pretends to dislike nico. magical realism and memory loss

—I'm Gonna Turn This Car Around by FunkyinFishnet / @dinomighty rated t, nawa, oneshot, 3.6k words nico somehow ends up giving out relationship advice to the younger guys on the grid, except they always ask for advice when him and kevin are busy. funny and light hearted with background maxiel

enemies-to-lovers era: 2022-2023

—i wanna feel your sugar in my veins by dilftoevsky rated e, ccntw, oneshot, 2.6k words written in '22 but set in '23, au where they didn't make up but still fuck (pwp)

—Sidelined* by degenercurve130R / @silverslipstream rated t, ccntw, oneshot, 3.4k words character study ish, written in '23 but takes place in '21 & '17. both kevin and nico are out of a seat and meet up to drown their feelings about it in beer.

—Full Disclosure, Don't Get Closer* by Anonymous rated m, nawa, oneshot, 1.1k words they're friends/teammates with benefits and kevin feels some things about it

haasbands era: 2024-onwards

—The First Of The Season* by Anonymous rated e, nawa, 1/2, 4.8k words first time/hooking up, lots of chemistry between them, smut later in the first chapter. ongoing, so can't speak on ch2, but would 100% still rec this if it was left unfinished forever or got uploaded as a oneshot

—i love winning, baby, i want it all by flowersarepoisonous / @flowersarepoisonous rated t, nawa, oneshot, 1.2k words written in '24, set in '26. they're both with audi and nico wins his first race. celebrations follow

—baby, why don't you come over? (red wine supernova) by flowersarepoisonous / @flowersarepoisonous rated m, nawa, 1/4, 4k words ongoing, so I can't sum it completely. tags are "fuckbuddies to lovers" and "getting together" which should give you a good feel. spans multiple seasons

—bleuler by cfd rated m, ccntw, oneshot, 3.5k words different scenes of pillow talk centering mental health issues nico has (in this fic not irl) and how they impact the relationship between kevin and nico. warning for implied psychosis, angst

—kevin magnussen? more like kevin wagnussen by flowersarepoisonous / @flowersarepoisonous rated g, nawa, oneshot, 2.5k words kevin gets a race ban for baku and shows up as nico's wag. social media au/outsider pov, fluff, humour

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of angsty omegaverse One Direction fics as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave the writers kudos and comments! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

— Louis/Harry —

💔 Light, Spark and Fire (series) by green_feelings / @greenfeelings

(M, E, 239k, Louis/Harry, Zayn/Liam) Louis and Zayn run a music label, Liam is Britain’s up-and-coming pop star, Harry’s working on taking Louis’ walls down until he builds his own up, and Niall holds them all together without realising he does.

💔 Saving Symphony Hall by @helloamhere

(E, 124k, hurt/comfort) “That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

💔 Strawberries & Cigarettes by dimpled_halo / @comebackassholes

(E, 76k, exes) Two stories, eleven years, and the two boys that never stopped loving each other.

💔 These High Walls by LarryAlways28

(E, 68k, musician Louis) Harry was raised exactly as a Styles heir should be: sharp as a tack, witty, charming, and powerful. He was the ideal son - until he presented as an Omega.

💔  Maybe You’ll Like the Way I Am by @lululawrence

(NR, 55k, accidental bonding) When Louis’ alpha neighbor asks him to pretend to be his omega for a week, Louis immediately says no.

💔 Your Gift is Wasted On Me by therogueskimo / @bravetemptation

(NR, 54k, neighbors) Omega Louis has severe touch deprivation and is averse to touch. But he’s fine. Really.

💔 Bear with me by 28sunflowers / @vintageumbroshirt​  

(E, 46k, omega/omega) But try as they might, the one fact that remains true is that children don’t save broken relationships. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.

💔 Wild Hearts Run Free by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(E, 42k, secrets) When fate and Mother Nature conspire to trap the two strangers together, will Harry’s worst fears be proven, or will Louis find a way to break down his walls and lead him into the light?

💔 Canyon Moon by delsicle / @eeveedel

(E, 40k, Lion King au) For as long as Louis has remembered, he has been promised to be mated to Harry, his best friend and the future pack alpha. But Louis’s heart belonged to the forest and to the hunt more than he could ever imagine it belonging to Harry.

💔 Follow Your Arrow by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(T, 36k, canon) They said Louis playing alpha wouldn’t affect anything. It was the best thing for the band, so he doesn’t really regret it except deep in the dead of night, when he bites down on his knuckles to swap the echoing ache of depri for a sting of pain.

💔 Too Young To Know by @2tiedships2

(M, 35k, exes to lovers) the one where Harry doesn’t present as an alpha… until he does.

💔 Compass to my Soul by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(T, 31k, canon) Louis Tomlinson, omega, is 1/5 of world famous boy band One Direction. He spends his time hoping his bandmates don’t notice him.

💔 where the lights are beautiful by twoshipsdrifting / @polkadotlou

(E, 31k, accidental bonding) If that had been his life, his goal, Louis would feel pretty good about himself now. As it is…Louis feels like shit.

💔  Sisterwives by @jaerie 

(E, 32k, omega/omega) Louis thinks he's getting everything he's ever dreamed of. Harry helps him find what makes him truly happy.

💔 Compete Against the Stars by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

(M, 30k, uni) An A/B/O au where Louis finds out he's claimed to another Alpha. Angst ensues.

💔 The Risen (series) by @creamcoffeelou

(E, 28k, cult au) In search of the next breaking story, Harry goes off to do something no one else has been able to do: get the scoop on Louis Tomlinson and his devoted group of followers.

💔  tread lightly on my ground by fairytalelights / @lookslikefairytale

(E, 20k, mpreg) the one where Harry is having Louis’ baby, but Louis doesn’t know it’s his

💔  Keep Me Closer by zanni_scaramouche / @zanniscaramouche

(T, 18k, uni) Louis expects Harry to react poorly, maybe even file a formal complaint and that’s gonna suck ass but Louis won’t say shit cause he knows he deserves it, so he prepares an apology before Harry’s even turned around.

💔 No Easy Love (Could Make Me Feel This Way) by @allwaswell16

(E, 17k, exes) an Alpha Louis/Alpha Harry au where they get a second chance to make things right with the love of their life.

💔 With love comes strange currencies by mediaville

(E, 16k, canon) They're Accidentally Mated and Dealing With It Rather Badly.

💔 Him & I by @notasawrap

(NR, 8k, mpreg) Louis thinks Harry has a lover and he's willing to let's Harry go to be happy with someone else even if it hurts the three of them.

💔 A Silver Lining In A Storm (You Were Lightning, I Was Born) by @fallinglikethis

(E, 6k, arranged marriage) Omega Prince Harry had always known that he was going to have an arranged marriage. But after the death of his first fiancé, a man who turned out far worse than Harry thought possible, his subsequent marriage to the man's brother leaves Harry finding it difficult to trust that everything will work out.

💔 lucky once, could be lucky again by @jaerie

(E, 2k, famous/not famous) Louis has been letting the rich and famous knot him for cash since he found himself walking out on the lavish lifestyle of his rockstar future mate.

— Rare Pairs —

💔 Pride by iwanttowriteyouafic

(E, 86k, Zayn/Liam)  the one where Zayn and Liam strike a deal to help each other through their dirtiest nights, but Zayn's perception of alphas may be preventing him from something purer

[peachesofteal]

hi Peach IM BACK and i CANNOT get the cramps fic from dead disco au out of my head. like i need to know what happens after she slammed the door? like did they continue knocking? were they able to persuadr her to open the door and go to the hospital? did she let them back in? did she let them be at the birth? was she gonna keep bee or give it to simon and johnny? DEAD DISCO BRAINROT

🖤🖤 Takes place after this.

18+ mdni / baby trap au / twisty themes, angst, reader is pregnant, in labor.

"Darling, open the door." Simon calls, trying not to yell but still be loud enough to hear, no idea if you're even listening, or if you could hear him. He can't stop thinking about the look on your face, twisted in pain, panicked.

Something is wrong. Something is wrong, or you're in labor. And that has to be wrong, because if you're in labor, then you need to be in hospital.

"Darling, please. We want to help ye." Johnny tries. His voice breaks, and Simon closes his eyes, steeling himself against the pain there, the pain that he's inflicted on all of you, the misery and agony that has been their lives for the past six months. "We're not leavin!" He insists. Simon casually looks up and down the hallway, looking to see if anyone is around. He could, in theory, break the door down. He could force entry, even if he doesn't want to, if it's for your own good, he-

The lock clicks. Johnny darts for the handle, pushing the door open just enough to see that you're standing on the other side, a bag in one hand, the other laying flat against your belly. Your eyes are red, clearly distressed, and you look exhausted, and in pain, and all he wants to do is pull you into him and never let you go.

"Oh, darling." It's soft, and you shake your head.

"I only opened up because I knew you'd try to get in anyway." you hiss, stepping through the doorframe. He can't fault your logic there.

"What's goin' on?" Johnny tries, watching your hand shake as you put the key into the lock. "Talk to us."

"I think-" Your words grind to a stop, and you swallow like you might vomit before continuing. "My water broke. I'm in labor."

Many things happen at once. Johnny starts asking too many questions- when is your due date, how are you feeling, where is your doctor, did you call a cab, do you have a birthplan- as you stare at him, gobsmacked, and clearly stressed. Simon's heart free falls through his body, a million emotions ransacking his brain. Love. Happiness. Sadness. Fear. Anxiety. Anger, at himself. But one thing, one sentiment rings out over everything, it's truth written as plain as day across your face, panic sinking into your features as you try to process Johnny's questions. You need them. You need help.

"Johnny." Simon cuts him off, and and grinds to a halt, nodding in self awareness. You take a deep breath.

"I need to get to the hospital." You grit out. "But I don't want to call 999 because I don't need an ambulance. My contractions are still far enough apart." you insist, leveling them both with a hard stare.

"Would you like us to help you?" Simon asks gently, not trying to push. He knows, you'll come on your own. You would not have opened the door otherwise.

"I don't forgive you." You tell them both, looking them in the eyes. "But I- I don't think I can do this on my own. I- Ahh!" You yell this time, dropping your bag and almost kneeling until Johnny gets an arm around you, supporting your weight with his own.

"Okay, alright. We've got ye." Simon punches in the hospital address for the car as they both lead you down the stairs. Your building doesn't even have a working elevator, and he tries not to feel sick when he thinks about you walking up and down these flights every day with your belly and worse, with the baby in the future.

When they get you out the front door and into the car, Simon dials your doctor, who assures him you've already called. She asks him to time your contractions, and when he says they're about fifteen minutes apart, she gives him instruction before chastising him for not calling 999.

"Your doctor is there, and they'll be waiting to get you all checked in." He tries to reassure you, but you're so tense, locked up tight, he grimaces. "Darling?"

"What?" you grunt, closing your eyes.

"Are you breathing?" You're not. And when you realize, you let out a huge gulp of air, and slump in the seat.

You burst into tears a second later. Johnny is stricken.

"Hey, hey." He tries. "It's alright. We're on our way, everything is going to be okay."

"I'm ss-scared." you sob, and he nods sympathetically.

"I know darling, I know. But yer strong, ye can do this."

"I can't." you cry louder, and the driver looks at you in the mirror with concern before Simon glares at him and he jumps his eyes back to the road. "And it fuckin' hurts. What if it's too late to get the drugs? What if something goes wrong? I don't know how to be a mum, I don't even know how-"

"Darling." He can't do this. He can't watch you fall apart like this, in this mess that he created. He has to take control of this situation. "Look at me." You blink up at him with wet lashes, so sweet and sad, and he wants to kiss each tear from your face. "You can do this. No matter what happens, you are strong, you're a fighter, and you're going to be okay, alright?" Your lips part, and he can see your brain turning, mind working you into something a little more malleable.

"Okay." you sniffle, and then lean a little to the side. Your head tips back against his shoulder, and at the same time, you reach for Johnny's hand, squeezing it tight and tugging him closer, like you're trying to hold onto his entire arm. "Oh fuck." You groan.

"Contraction?" Johnny asks and you nod miserably.

"Deep breaths." Simon murmurs into your scalp. "In through your nose, just like that, good girl."

[sweetbutpsychobutsweet]

Owe You One

Chapter 6

Thorin Oakenshield x AFAB!Reader

Summary: A new discovery about the nature of orcs leads to a drastic decision on your part. And Thorin surprises you by behaving in a very un-Thorin-like manner

Warnings: angst, no use of y/n, implied eating disorder/starvation to avoid menstruation

author's note: Hope y'all enjoyed the events of last chapter😉 I'm working on creating a master list for my page so it's easier to navigate through my fics in the future!

Also, without giving away too much of what happens in this chapter, I added in the warnings that there are mentions of the reader starving herself to delay getting her period. Because it doesn't come from a place of body dysmorphia I didn't want to mislabel it as anorexia, but if this is a potentially triggering topic for you please be aware that you might want to skip the next few chapters.

If you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder you can call the helpline at ♥888-375-7767♥

Word count: 1622

You allow yourself a few minutes to just sit on the bed in your towel. It takes some time to form a coherent thought, and even longer to regain feeling in your legs. 

Once you do finally gather enough energy to stand you make your way over to the armoire to dress for dinner. Your stomach is already starting to rumble in anticipation of the feast you know will be waiting for you just down the hall so you decide to dress quickly. 

You choose a dress you know you can slip into easily, not wanting to fuss with pulling on trousers at the moment. You pull on a clean chemise to go underneath, then choose one of your favorite evening dresses to pull on. It’s a dark, forest green color, made of a shimmery fabric that catches in the light with your every movement. The sleeves flow down your arms before splitting open at the elbow to drape loosely down the rest of your arms. The laces cross in the front of the bodice instead of the back so you can tie them easily yourself.

Not wanting to wrangle with your wet mess of hair you simply pile it on top of your head and pin it in place. You step into a pair of matching silk slippers and head out the door, following the mouthwatering smell of Elven cuisine.  

You force yourself to walk slowly down to the dining hall, worried the others might be suspicious if you arrive too soon after Thorin does. 

You pass through elegant archways to find your company poking at the vegetables before them with great displeasure. But not quite as much displeasure as you feel when you realize the only seat left is right next to Thorin.

You had hoped to avoid him for a while in a vain attempt to put off the inevitable discussion that will need to be had. About what happened between the two of you, and what exactly it means moving forward.

“These swords were made for the goblin wars of the first age,” Lord Elrond is explaining when you take your seat between him and Thorin. “How did you come by these?” he asks curiously.

“We found them in a troll hoard on the great east road shortly before we were ambushed by orcs.” Gandalf replies with excitement.

Lord Elrond looks at you with suspicion. “And what were you doing on the great east road?”

“Weren’t you listening?” you ask as you start to pile food onto your plate, “we were being ambushed by orcs.”

Your Elven friend simply laughs, knowing better than to try and get an answer out of you. 

“We’re incredibly lucky you arrived when you did,” you tell him, “we’d probably all have our heads mounted on spikes by now if it hadn’t been for you.”

“We were doing just fine,” Thorin grumbles from beside you but you elect to ignore him. 

“They are vicious creatures,” Lord Elrond agrees with you. “While you’re here I’ll have to show you some literature I recently found on some of their hunting strategies. Some scholars seem to believe that orcs are able to smell blood from several miles away. If their intended target loses so much as a drop of blood they’re as good as dead with an orc pack on their trail.”

You freeze with your fork midway to your mouth. 

Blood? You think to yourself in panic as you start to do the math in your head. 

You drop your fork onto your plate in alarm and everyone turns to look at you in concern. You smile sheepishly and reach for your water goblet with a trembling hand. Everyone turns back to their conversations.

Everyone except Thorin. Whose gaze you can feel burning a hole in your head.

You refuse to meet his eyes, too afraid that if he sees the panic on your face he’ll be able to realize the exact same thing you just did.

Orcs can smell blood, and your menstrual cycle is due to start in five days. 

If its true that even a single drop can attract orcs from miles away, then the pack currently hunting you will certainly notice if you suddenly start to lose a large amount of blood.

If Thorin and the others find out that the only female member of the company is about to pose a great risk to everyone’s lives then the only logical solution would be for them to leave you behind. 

For Thorin to leave you behind. Again. 

You’ll be left bleeding and alone while they go off to continue reclaiming Erebor without you.

You know it isn’t fair to blame them. It’s not their fault you have this monthly inconvenience any more than it's yours. It is for the good of the company that you stay behind for a little while if you’re about to start bleeding.

Unless you don’t start bleeding, you realize.

You look down at your plate as an idea starts to form in your head.

The stress of the journey will likely cause your cycle to come late anyway. But if you were to stop eating for just a few days, that would definitely prevent your cycle from coming. At least long enough to put more distance between you and the orcs. 

You push your plate away from you, your decision made. Certainly, you can manage to go a few more days without eating, if it means saving the company from any further risk. Your stomach grumbles at you in protest and you can tell Thorin is still looking at you with suspicion. But that will be a problem for later. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Our business is no concern of elves,” Thorin’s voice echos off the walls of the dark study you have all gathered in.

“Here we go,” you mutter to yourself.

“For goodness sake, Thorin, show him the map!” the wizard cries with mounting frustration at the leader of your company.

“It is the legacy of my people, it is mine to protect as are its secrets,” Thorin replies stubbornly. 

“Thorin,” your voice is gentle but assertive and for the first time since dinner his eyes finally meet yours.

“You can trust Lord Elrond, I promise.” he remains silent as his eyes search your face. You can still see the dark cloud of his inner turmoil as he struggles to hold his ground against you and Gandalf. His resolve may be starting to crack, as he realizes this is in the best interest of the quest. But knowing Thorin he would rather die than admit defeat. 

“Save me from the stubbornness of dwarves!” Gandalf cries, “Your pride will be your downfall.  You stand here in the presence of one of the few in middle earth who can read that map, show it to Lord Elrond!”

Thorin gives no indication that he heard a word Gandalf said. His gaze has not left yours. 

“If you won’t trust Lord Elrond, will you at least trust that Gandalf has our best interests at heart?” you ask him with a sigh. “Will you trust me, Thorin?”

He remains silent, clenching his fists at his side, and your irritation grows as you steel yourself for him to refuse yet again.

But he doesn’t.

He reaches into his tunic and pulls out the map.

“Thorin, no!" Balin protests but Thorin simply shrugs him off and hands the map over.

Lord Elrond begins to carefully unfold the map as you repeatedly open and close your mouth in shock, not knowing what to say. 

Thorin averts his eyes from you as Lord Elrond and Gandalf begin discussing amongst themselves. Their voices fade around you in a blur and your attention drifts away as it can only seem to focus on one thing: why would Thorin do that? 

He never backs down, not even when he realizes he’s in the wrong. Even before there was this tension between the two of you, convincing Thorin to set aside his pride when he feels so strongly about something is next to impossible. 

What could have possibly caused him to change his mind this time?

“Cirth Ithil,” you hear Lord Elrond say and your attention immediately snaps back to the present moment.

“Moon runes!”  you translate with breathless excitement. 

“Of course!” Gandalf cries, “An easy thing to miss.”

“Well in this case that is true,” continues Lord Elrond, “moon runes can only be read by the light of a moon of the same shape and season as the day on which they were written.”

“Can you read them?” comes the important question.

Lord Elrond leads the others off to a moonlit space where the runes will be illuminated. But before Thorin can follow the others you reach out to grab his arm, pulling him back from the group.

He turns over his shoulder to look back at you but avoids meeting your eyes.

“Why did you do that?” you ask him, “What made you change your mind?”

He gently removes your hand from his arm and turns to face you fully. Your breath catches in your throat as he takes a step closer to you and memories of what happened in that pool earlier that same evening come rushing back. 

You hadn’t noticed until now that a strand of hair had fallen loose from the others, and hung by your cheek. Thorin reaches up gently to tuck it behind your ear. His warm palm lingered against your cheek.

“It’s like you said,” he mumbles as your eyelids flicker in anticipation, “I owe you one.” his hand falls away from your face and you can’t help but feel more than a little disappointed as he turns to follow the others outside.

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@mrsdurin @thetaekwondofeline

[thisapplepielife]

Written for @corrodedcoffinfest.

All For Naught

Day #29 - Behind the Music | Word Count: 1000 | Rating: T | CW: Language | POV: Jeff | Pairing: Jeff/Goodie (Freak), Minor Steddie Mention | Tags: Future Fic, Band Breakup, Angst, Jeff and Goodie are Best Friends, But Goodie Learned How to Run from Eddie, Unrequited Love, Or Is It?, Hopeful Ending

Jeff loads the last guitar into the back of the pickup. He can't believe it's over. Just like that. They tried so hard, for so long, that he kind of assumed that they would forever. 

He definitely hadn't expected Goodie to be the one to throw in the towel.

Not like this.

He thought if they broke up it would be Eddie that called it quits. Eddie, with Steve at home. Eddie with a whole life outside the band.

Or Gareth. He's getting married. It'd be fair to want to settle down, to stay close to home. To give up on the band that has only had middling success, at best. 

But, no. It was Goodie. His best friend, the one that he thought he'd ride or die with until the absolute end, that pulled the plug. Sure, they could get another bass player, but they'd made a promise to each other years ago that Corroded Coffin was the four of them, and the four of them alone.

No additions. No replacements.

So, with Goodie out, they're just done.

All they have left is cleaning out the rehearsal garage, dividing up stuff that they can't remember who it belonged to in the first place. They aren't even fighting. That's the thing that hurts the most. That they are all just resigned to letting this go.

It's been their life for almost two decades, and now it's just over.

Jeff moved back home for a while, but looking up at the ceiling in his childhood bedroom was too depressing, so as soon as he could get his shit together, he fled. Out of town, out of the state. 

He went from living in close proximity to the three of them, to now, all alone. Staring at the blank walls of his apartment as he tries to find a job. He had a job. It didn't pay particularly well, but he loved it. 

Loved Corroded Coffin. 

Loved them all.

Loved Goodie the most.

And now they haven't spoken in six weeks. Goodie's just vanished off the face of the earth, and Goodie's mom and dad won't tell Jeff anything useful. He's just gone.

His last private lesson of the day is over. The kids are kind of fun to teach, even if he doesn't expect any of them to be the next Jimi Hendrix.

He teaches lots of guitar, and a little piano. He knows enough to teach the beginners, anyway. 

Mr. Clarke, back home, was able to pull some strings, even from states away, vouching for him. And now he's a music tutor.

It pays well. He often makes more in an afternoon than his cut would be from a weekend of gigs. 

He's not passionate about it, not like he was about Corroded Coffin, but it definitely pays the bills more reliably.

Eddie and Steve have been out a couple times, and Gareth once, and they all tip-toe around him, like he might explode. Since when is he the unstable one? Eddie always had the dramatics locked down for himself.

"I'm fine," Jeff says for the tenth time since Eddie flopped onto his couch this afternoon.

"You're not," Eddie argues.

"Do you want me to cry, or what?" Jeff snaps.

"Maybe you'd feel better if you did."

Nothing is gonna make him feel better. His best friend basically wrote his ass off, along with everyone else, in one fell swoop. He took that pretty damn personally. How could he not? It was fucked. 

"Goods called last week," Eddie says, as casual as can be. 

"Jesus Christ, Eddie. That's what you lead with. Not Steve's new lawnmower," Jeff bitches, "Well? Where is he?"

"He said the South of France, but I don't believe him," Eddie says.

No shit. Jeff wouldn't believe that either. Goodie hates the sun.

"Well, did he at least explain why he imploded the band?" Jeff asks, because that's what he needs to know.

"He didn't. But you know why," Eddie says, and Jeff pauses, looking at him.

He most definitely does not, "I do?"

"Think," Eddie stresses, as if Jeff hasn't been thinking about this, and only this, for months. 

"Because we weren't making money?"

"No," Eddie says.

"Because he had finally had enough of Gareth?"

Eddie laughs, "No. But a better guess."

"I don't know. I feel like maybe I never knew him at all, if he's capable of just bailing on us all for no good reason."

Eddie raises an eyebrow, "C'mon. You know better than this. You know how he's always felt about you."

Jeff opens his mouth to laugh, but Eddie doesn't, so he snaps it closed again. No. That can't be. Goodie never. 

No, no, no.

"You're not saying…" Jeff trails off.

"I am saying. We all saw it. How did you not?" Eddie asks, and Jeff's confused. That's not. They never. Goodie never said anything. How was he supposed to guess that?

Goodie came out a few years ago, as loath as he was to follow in Eddie's footsteps about anything. 

Jeff's dated women and men. Why wouldn't Goodie just say something? It's not like there was a zero percent chance. 

But it must have felt like it to him, he supposes. 

Goddamnit.

Sure, there's been some moments over the years. But he was, is, his best friend. And not fucking up that, not fucking up the band, always quashed anything that ever bubbled to the surface.

And now, there's no best friend, and no band, so the caution was all for naught.

"Well, fuck," Jeff says, and Eddie laughs, reaching into his pocket, pulling out a slip of paper. 

An address.

The door opens, and Goodie looks surprised. Eddie didn't warn him.

Jeff takes one big step forward, pushing into his personal space, "You're an asshole."

It's not graceful. Too many teeth, and noses bumping like they've never done this before, but Jeff keeps at it, keeps kissing him, not intending to give him the opportunity to slip away again.

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