#it's going to be amazing and i can't fkn wait

[rebelatheartblog]

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE

An Extended Look at Season 2🔥

[dovabunny]

GhostSoap AU Concept - blind love

Soap is an army vet who lost his sight in an explosion. He now works as a masseur, he's good with his hands and his options are limited.

Ghost is a scarred, disfigured man in pain with insecurities he hid behind thick walls and a mask.

Ghost's body is a mess of injuries old and new, he can't even remember what it's like to not be in pain but always pushes through it. That he's getting older doesn't help either.

Until his back locks up mid mission and he's left in pain that has him limping and wincing.

Price has had enough of him dodging the question and actually orders him to get it looked at. Ghost refuses. First, he will not take off his shirt in front of a stranger, and he most certainly will NOT let a stranger touch him.

Price sighs and says he knows just the place.

If it wasn't an order Ghost wouldn't be here, no way in hell. He's just gonna go in, tell the guy to say he was here and leave.

It's a small parlour, if it can even be called that. A small two story building with a tiny waiting room and a door leading to the back.

But it was at the edge of town away from the bustle of the city, the wilderness literally just across the river next to it.

It helped a bit, the place being so out of the way. Ghost appreciated privacy, after all.

There was no one in the waiting room, but the door jingled when he entered. Soon enough a voice yells 'with you in a sec!', accent thick and Scottish.

THAT was unexpected. He was expecting a woman, possibly old and creepy. It helped a little bit more.

Then the door to the back swung open and he lost his breath a little.

The man walks out with a beaming smile, hair in a fkn mohawk that somehow looked great on him, built like a damn rugby player.

But it was his eyes.

A striking deep blue, but clouded.

At Ghost's silence the man's smile is a bit more forced. "I can tell you're there, ya know."

Ghost snapped out of his daze and stuck out his hand in greeting, then felt like a fking idiot and yanked it back. "It's Ghost, I mean, Simon. Price called about me."

"Ah. The lieutenant! Price told me you might be a flight risk," he chuckled, but somehow it didn't feel condescending or cruel as laughter towards him usually was. It was friendly, warm.

He felt entirely off kilter.

"I'm John MacTavish, call me Soap." He stuck out his hand. Ghost took it and shook, feeling callouses on his soft hands.

"Kind of name is Soap?"

Soap smiled. "It was my call sign. Was called by it so long anything else feels odd."

"You're military?"

"Was. Just entered SAS when," he gestures at his eyes with a strained smile.

Ghost didn't know how to respond, which Soap must've picked up on too cause he quickly followed with a "So! Shall we get started?"

Without waiting for a response, Soap walked to the back, Ghost snapping out of it and following after a beat.

He stood in the doorway and looked around. It had soft lighting, soft music from somewhere that sounded almost Celtic, it smelled... Amazing. Gentle and warm, but no distinct scent he could place.

Soap was moving around with precision, washing his hands and putting things ready.

Ghost had fully intended to go through with his plan - pay the masseuse to tell Price he was here then leave. Maybe buy a heat patch form the pharmacy.

But here, now, in this room with Soap - a veteran who'll understand, who can't see how ugly disfigured he is...

He decides to give it a chance. For the first time since he became a dead man, he's going to get out of his shell and try to take care of himself, to stop waiting for his inevitable death and actually work towards getting better.

In the best hands he could wish for.

[ineffabildaddy]

6, 8, and 21 for the soft asks <3

omg hiii hehehe

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical)

oh god okay, physical: my tattoos are sick, my beard's coming along nicely, and ermmm i'm stacked in the back lmfao

non-physical: i try to be a friendly person, i'm very organised and clean at work which i'm proud of, anddd i'd like to think i know a good amount about music

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good

this bit's gna be long so i'll put it under the cut dlfjlkdg

@raining-stars-somewhere-else he's an inactive king atm but he's my bestie and i love him<3 so so hilarious and observant and talented and kind. he's my dude and he means a lot to me go away

@sad-chaos-goblin i feel like i can be totally insane around you and you'll get on my wavelength immediately, it's amazing dlkkkljgfjkld. also i feel really lucky to be friends with someone so well-rounded and driven and fun, not to mention compassionate<3 i'm really really lucky to have met you and i hope we get to do irl adventures in the nearish future!!! until then we're great friends from afar!!!

@omens-for-ophelia we're just perfectly matched for our headcanons and kinks and shit and i absolutely love it. u get me, i get u, we get each other on this front and on many others!!! ur an extremely nurturing person too. i also love having u around bc ur full of fun facts and passion and energy, and of course ur art is absolutely incredible, i'm scratching at the walls just thinking about it dklkjldfgjkl. can't wait to create more absolutely feral works of crowley and aziraphale [redacted] in various ways hahahhkshjdf. and also hopefully have some london hangouts soon<3

@queer-reader-07 of course i've gotta mention ya because you're one of my fave blogs! i feel so warm and welcome reading all your posts and tags because you're a very lovely individual, and you've also got so many valuable things to say and i really look forward to seeing your takes on everything<3 also as i said before ur a very funny person and i enjoy that heh. i always get so excited when u pop up in my notifs i'm like little old me????

@foolishlovers bestie your writing makes me so happy but chatting and things makes me even happier<3 you're a really enthusiastic friend to have and you've got so many wonderful qualities that i just wanna share the love as much as possible hehe. i'm very glad we're doing shhh it's a secret together and that we've become close in general uwu

@crowleyslvt ur a little lad who's always got something hilarious and insightful to say about literally anything i come to u with, whether it's fkn silly memes or an existential crisis lol. you have such a unique way of looking at the world and i really enjoy it. also having a giggle with u is always top tier and on top of that ur a very supportive king<3 and of course u writing's delish at all times in any context

@voluptatiscausa i can literally tell you my most redacted thoughts and you'll be like yeah this is just another day at the office dkffjddgl. you're a silly and goofy guy (gn) who's simultaneously very easy to open up to which is always a comfort<3 the fact that we both like mitchell and webb makes us collectively Not Like Other Girls and we need to capitalise on that more tbh. also i greatly enjoy ur writing ofc

@bowtiepastabitch you're jokes. also we're very different and yet somehow the same brand of fucked up which i love<3 the lore could not be more disparate but the vibes could not be more immaculate. pls continue to be my friend smh

some more legends i love @crowleyholmes @fearandhatred @crowleys-bentley-and-plants @celestialcrowley @sabotage-on-mercury @quoththemaiden @ineffable-rohese @crawley-fell

21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

probably this - one day you're going to start sticking up for yourself, i promise<3

[tsintotwo]

(Part 1/4)

Like a lot of us, I've been going through Tom Sturridge's filmography since watching Sandman on Netflix. I've watched a good amount of stuff so far, and I have Thoughts™ . Writing a few lines about him in each of the projects (because apparently this is a Tom Sturridge fan blog now??)

Now, you watch Tom in interviews and he is the DEFINITION of a cinnamon roll, so you would never think this- but this man has been absolutely wildin for over a decade. The projects he chooses? The roles he takes on? Half the time it's as if he's like 'if it's not excruciatingly dramatic, absolutely insane, and/or heart-poundingly, breath-chokingly sexy, don't even bother'. Also something else I think I figured out from watching these and Tom's interviews- it's possible that in his mind, wild/dangerous = seductive. So, anytime he's playing a character of that sort, he turns it on and immediately has intense sexual tension with everyone in sight. It's mind-blowing.

This is what I've watched so far:

Like Minds/Murderous Intent (2006)- Eddie Redmayne's first movie. Tom plays Ed's boarding school classmate, a psycho. He was 20/21 in this, unbelievably pretty, and nailed the 'devil with an angel's face' character to a tee. The chemistry with Ed is, predictably, insane. He says and does some seriously disturbing things in the movie. This was so early in his career too! It's possible that Tom's always been a 'choose the interesting project' person vs 'choose something that might make me a popular sweetheart' person.

Waiting for Forever (2010)- I have to say this first, I legit loved this movie so much. It strikes just the right balance between soulful and real, and the whole effect is incredibly sweet and touching. They don't make movies like this anymore. Tom's character is a very innocent type: naive and clueless to the extent of disturbing, but full of hope and belief. Tom is SO good in this. He plays it a bit slow and spacey, and captures the wide-eyed wonder and confusion of the character perfectly. *chef's kiss*

The Hollow Crown s2 (2012)- This was a series of BBC adaptations of Shakespeare's historical plays based on English kings. Tom was Henry VI, and I was fkn depres*ed for a week after watching this, no lie. Henry VI on screen is spineless, pathetic, and being manipulated left and right by every single person in his vicinity. The politics is nasty, the murders are brutal, and King Henry, 17, doesn't want any of it (but is still too much of a wuss to give up his crown so he clutches on religion instead). Tom, with his young face, long hair, gray cloak and his rosary that he desperately hangs onto, speaking of hope and heartbreak in Shakespearean lingo, just made me feel lots of emotions - terribly angry and frustrated with the king, then sad and horrified for him. It was draining. (The series overall is fantastic tbh.)

On The Road (2012)- Based on Jack Kerouac's novel, this movie is all sorts of nasty- drugs upon drugs, lurid sex, people treating other people terribly. Tom in this is sensitive writer boi in unrequited love with a fuckboy, and his personality is "we can take sexuality out of it, just hold me, man". I pray for the gays who will see this movie now because they won't survive Tom in this. (I mean I'm straight and I barely survived). The messy hair? Thick black-framed glasses? The hurt glances? Manic-pixie smiles? Teary-eyed, swollen-lipped monologue? (Edit: Scene) I'm f*cking deceased. (No kidding tho, I can't take movies that are so on-the-nose seriously and I skipped through it, and still Tom with his limited screen time managed to make me genuinely feel for his character. He was amazing.) Fun fact: The scene of him being bodily carried away for a threesome and proceeding to break the bed (literally) lives rent free in my head. No, I am not all right.

Far From the Madding Crowd (2015)- Adaptation of Thomas Hardy's classic novel. Tom plays Sgt. Francis Troy (opposite Carey Mulligan) and is a regular no-good rake. Listen, you'd think Tom with his sweet mouth and wispy facial hair couldn't pull off a moustache. You'd be wrong. He looks great. And he has that charisma that makes you wanna drive off a cliff for him even though you know he's an asshole. They made his character halfway decent tho, Troy is worse in the book. (EDIT: No they did NOT! I was skipping thru the movie and missed a scene lol. But I've watched the whole thing now and, yeah). And Tom switches vibes from sinister to emotional without missing a beat. What a goddamned treat watching this man is.

I'll stop now, and do the next installment on another 5 Tom projects (I guess Remainder, Mary Shelley, Sweetbitter, Irma Vep, Sea Wall/A Life? We'll see.)

(Edit: Part 2 , Part 3, Part 4, Part 5/ Bonus)

[boxwinebaddie]

when does jersry enter his crush era? like does that happen right after the hate orr before the flight to southpark? sorry! im just curious lmfao

aaaaaa, okay, omgomgomg. sorry this ask got to skip the line because the jersey kyle simp crush era is like, my favorite fucking thing to talk about, my man is down further than hell oh my gOD!!!

also, its after The Hate, i gue--

wait, just kidding, it's actually During the hate. because stan was being sooooo cute during it ( like we saw him being cute, yes he is like that quite licherally the whole time, i love him omg ) he was doing very lovely soft boy stanley marsh things, accidentally doing the stan laugh/lip bite, making dumb jokes, dropping everything...

and for a man that doesn't eat anything...

JERSEY WAS EATING THAT UUUUUP!!!!!

jerseykyle is the scary scholar dark academia black cat boy for cute pretty angel boy golden retriever goth boy agenda & i MEAN THAT!!!

so, i would say the crush is Officially established during this one part of the hate ( i wasn't going to talk abt it yet, but u know how i am ) where ravenstan is trying to open something, like a packet, and he is looking at it like it is the fucking da vinci code, like it is a rubix cube, like its fucking rocket science omg, so he's like tilting his head to the side, pursing his lips, staring hard at it trying to open it lol, and he's about to try and tear it with his teeth fml...when kyle snatches him from it and just Opens It in one go then hands it back to him.

...and ravenstan just looked up at kyle, like he hung the fkn moon, eyes soooo wide, smiling so big, like kyle had done this amazing service for him and said 'gracias, yersey! you rock :')' AND SHOT HIM THE ROCKNROLL HAND SIGNAL before excitedly going back to whatever he was doing and kyle was like...

OoooOHHhhhh mYYy gOOOd.

whathefuckwhathteufuckwhathEFUCk!!!!! and was like IIIIIII GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM LOL!!!! his heart was like pounding holy shit. and when he gets into the bathroom, he whips his cellphone out and immediately calls marj in a PANIC like "marj, you gotta come get me. i gotta come home. i think i'm DYING!!!" and marj is like "kyle, baby, you gotta slow down, darlin'! i can't understand what ur sayin--"

and kyle was like "i'm having a stroke" and marj is like "you're 21." and kyle is like "OKAY AND??? I'M HAVING A FUCKING STROKE MARJ" and she's...slowly...like "okay, well what are your symptoms?" and kyle is like "okay my chest hurts really bad!!! i can't fucking breathe!!! i feel Warm like??? really warm!!! i feel like my heart is going to fall out of my stomach, like i'm so nervous??? everything is spinning, Oh God, marj you gotta get me out of here!!!! MARJ, I AM FUCKING DYI--"

and marj is like "alright...kyle...i need you to stop and listen, ya hear? because i got some good news and some bad news..."

"good news is ur not havin' a stroke..."

"but what you do have..."

"--is a big ol' crush on raven'a crimson dawn." ;) <3

SDLKHDLKHDSLSD AND KYLE IS LIKE OHHHHMYGOD SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP NOIDONNNNNTTT!!!! I DO NAAAUGHT

unserious...like, baby...denial is a river in egypt. the same color as raven of crimson dawn's eyes...and you are DROWNING IN IT!!!!

speaking of crimson dawn and the jersey kyle secret simp era, like after the hate its sooooo....when i tell you he is Unwell.

like he made fun of those fangirls making edits of raven on youtube and now he is watching them LIKE A CRAZY PERSON!!!! like watching his interviews just to LOOK AT HIS HANDS??????? watch him SMILE?>?????? JAIL!!!!!!!!! speaking of J A I L!!!!!!!

he was literally in professor mackeys class, in his CRimina Laur class!! and kyle, who is never not paying attention, never not taking notes, would Never be on his phone!!!! was on his phone WATCHING CRIMSON DAWNS NEWEST MUSIC VIDEO!!!!!

bc he is down horrendous in disgusting nasty gay boy hell watching ravenstan do flips, crazy body rolls n celeb hotboy rockstar shit in the Raven Tiny Hooker Prostitute Pants 4 Nasty Boys That Need Jesus

wHEN THE HEADPHONES HE HAS ON UNSYNCH AND JUST BLARE AND I MEAN!!! BLAAARE CRIMSON DAWN ALL THRU THAT QUIET ASS CLASSROOM LIKE SHDLKDSSDk....heidi, tolkien and clyde griefed him so badly it was...oh my god.

i am...deeply embarassed.

also it only gets worst post hate and up to the sp flight, which??? i am glad that we liked that like??? I Thought it was a cool plot moment? but i am biased. ON THE HOT TOPIC OF BIASES THO RAVEN IS CLEARLY JERSEYS SECRET CD BIAS AND HE IS A DAWN SPAWN.

liv laff luv simp jersey with a big ol crush on raven of cd,

-uncle nina

p.s. ravenstan was on Hot Ones and he literally decimated all those wings like it was legendary but uh...it did really bad things to kyles brain, he was watching ravenstan's mouth way too much, like raven of crimson dawn was making way too many sounds...HELL!!! JAIL!!! *sprays kyle with the holy water* REPENT!!!! HARLOT!!!!

[oonajaeadira]

ADIRA DID U WATCH THE FIRST EP OF TLOU

Hey there, frand!

I didn't actually play the game--I am not really good at games that require a lot of stealth and aim. Add in a horror element and I lock up real hard. But my SO played it and I watched a good portion of that. And then when I heard Pedro got the role I watched the cut scenes. @something-tofightfor clued me in that a lot of the story actually takes place during the gameplay, that there's a lot of things said or done that really cement the characters' bond, so I watched an entire playthrough. (I also watched a TLOU II playthrough, but I have a lot of issues with it, so if I ever write fic, that second one will not exist for me.)

So I knew what was going on. And it's been really fun having folks around me at all levels of experience with these characters. The SO has spent hours with them in the game (and I believe he's played it twice), and my BFF knows almost nothing. Hearing both of their reactions to the first episode has been very interesting. And, of course, knowing how much this show overlaps loves for Rachael (something-tofightfor) and watching her enjoy this all come to life has been a fkn joy.

My own reaction? Has been puzzling. Thank you for asking my opinion, because it gives me a moment to dissect and figure out why I'm feeling the way I am.

I will start off by saying that I love the show. I love the aesthetic and the acting. I love the changes they made and think there are some clever enhancements to the story. I wasn't looking forward to Tess but I am surprised at how much I love her character in this show and how much her character enhances both Joel and Ellie's. Bella of course is brilliant and is Ellie.

Weirdly, the issue I'm having is with Pedro. Kind of.

(cut for minor spoils)

He is rocking it. He is amazing. Like everyone says, he is doing award-worthy work.

But I'm not connecting. I'm not falling in love. And I can't figure out why.

Possibility: this is the first time I've gotten to witness so much behind the scenes stuff while the show was being filmed while I was also a fan that maybe I'm having trouble separating Pedro the actor from Joel the character.

Possibility: I've been waiting so long for this that nothing can possibly match the expectations I've built up.

Possibility: Maybe I should have gone in with less knowledge and let myself be moved organically.

Possibility: I knew that they'd have to make Joel more vulnerable, but I didn't realize just how very broken this version of him would be. And it makes me S A D. Maybe because we saw so much of him in 2003 that the hard switch to this very numb man holding onto his pain feels so far beyond the reach of the heart that I can't find a softness foothold in him and I just slide off him. At least game Joel had the tiniest bit of confidence and sparkle at the beginning--and he needed to be that in order to move through the game. But Pedro's Joel is just barely surviving. And it hurts. And it's brilliant.

And it's this last possibility--if I know myself--that I'm assuming. Because I know what's coming. And I know that Ellie will wear away at that numb exterior and reveal those footholds. Just like Din, Pedro's gonna start us off with someone impenetrable and then show cracks under stress, cracks that let the light through. Just like Din, I will find Joel amazing and compelling at first, someone I love to watch but don't hook into...until the armor comes off and the heart is revealed and then I'm gonna fall really R E A L L Y hard.

And this may be why I'm not drawn to any of the fanfic just yet. I am a soft, soft girl and I can't just go straight to the sex. Especially not the hard sex. I am not someone that wants a dude to treat me rough and dominate me or treat me like a toy or object, I don't want to be the receptacle for hate or anger or pure stress relief without emotional connection. Nor can my heart handle pure, concentrated angst without the possibility of it paying off toward a happy or hopeful ending. (SPOILER: Yes, I know where this show is going, and I still find emotional hope and happiness in the ending. It counts.) And the Joel we know right now seems built for those preferences. To all those writers and readers, I am beyond thrilled for you because fk, Joel is Fertile Ground™. (This is kind of the opposite of me just rolling in the soft gold that Javi G gave us 😂)

But I do love that this Joel is custom built for a more mature girl and reader characters of his age range. I will echo Rachael's opinions that with his paternal instincts toward very young women, I don't think he's an age-gap kind of guy. And neither will he put up with anything less than common sense. And I find that very, very attractive.

What I can't fall in love with is someone devoid of emotion or someone saturated only with sorrow. My heart isn't built that way.

Thankfully, I know that Joel will evolve.

And I really really can't wait to see the scene that opens up and swallows me. That's what I'm excited for. This series has expanded on the story and adjusted Joel just enough that I don't know when that's going to happen or how intensely....and I'm so looking forward to it.

In that way, it's not a problem at all. I kind of love that I'm not falling for Joel just because it's Pedro.

And I think that is the stamp on his talent. That even thought I love our boy, he has done such a phenomenal job at bringing me away from that love and back to the starting line with Joel, starting his character not at an easy place where we love him already, but one that has to be earned.

I think....I think Pedro might break me really hard with this one....

Okay. I'm gonna go cry now.

[taegularities]

Omg I luv yoongi sm😔😔😔 his music just brings sm comfort to me and there’s only a few artists whose music can really make me feel better on down days yk. People Pt.2 was unbelievably good, he just always knows how to make such good songs and the lyricsss💔💔💔💔💔💔 his music brings me sm solace I can’t begin to thank him enough for sharing his craft with the world. I’m so excited for his album release, I knows it’s gonna be my top played album all year, but that only gives me 5 days to learn the entire album before his first concert (so happy I’m getting the chance to go tho bc no one knows what I’ll do when I see him live omg😭😭🙏🙏🙏) but I just luv yoon sm😔🩷🩷🩷 believe it or not he’s been my ult for years and I fear nobody can ever make me feel the way he does. Omg sorry for getting so sappy and corny, I just really loved this song and I’m getting so emotional thinking abt how far he’s come🥲🥲🥲 my baby frl🫶

I saw on twt that most likely all the boys will enlist by the end of year so they’ll all be back in time to enlist by 2025 and I never deeped it until now and it makes sm sense🥲🥲🥲 i wish we had more time tho bc we’re still in that grey area between jimins album release and yoongi’s and I just want them all to have armys best support and it’s tricky trying to manage between them rn with all the goals armys want to achieve, but ik they don’t care about none of that and just want to release their music from their heart🥲🥲 but omg I need to stop rambling before I don’t ever stop

you're so so right :( i'm digging the vibe of d-day so much, like i just know it'll bring the comfort i need. his mind is beautiful fr :') i absolutely cannot wait for this freaking album !! i knew it'd happen the moment he announced his tour, and am so happy we're actually getting one like kfjashjfk AND ALSO, have fun at the concert, oh my gosh you'll have the best time !!

don't apologise for being sappy, i find it so sweet when y'all gush about the boys and your biases 😭 and yeah... i hope they get all the support in the world, bc they work so fkn hard and deserve all the love <3 can't wait for 2025, but the upcoming time is gonna be amazing 🥺

[sungbeam]

I’M BACKKKK only to see Changmin??? Smth fishy is going awn 🤨🤨/j

No but omg you took the words out of my mouth THE OBJECTIFICATION OF MYSELF AND MY OWN INSECURITIES HAS ME LOOKING AT MYSELF WITH A PROVERBIAL CAMERA AT NEAR ALL TIMES WITH DIFFERENT CAMERA ANGLES TOO AS IF I WAS PLAYING FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S WITH MYSELF MOVING FROM ANGLE TO ANGLE EINFITNUND

Also omg what do you feel abt the new album?? I love Delicious with my whole being 😭 BUT LIP SYNC AND DOOR HAVE A HOLD ON MY SANITY LIKE PHEW I HAVE LISTENED TO THEM AN UNHEALTHY AMOUNT OF TIMES ESP CAUSE THE VOCALS IN DOOR GO CRAZYYYYYYYY Sunwoo esp omg lord have mercy on my soul-

AND JACOB’S COVER OF CEILINGS- REAHHHHHHHHH 👹👹👹👹 I actually astral projected (esp since I was thinking of basing my first fic off of it for a bit now 😳)

Btw this might be random but for love in unity, do any of them have jobs? 😭 I KNOW THATS A WEIRD THING TO ASK BUT I ALWAYS WONDER HOW PPL MAKE MONEY TO PAY FOR GROCERIES AND STUFF WHEN I’M WATCHING TV SHOWS CAUSE IT’S LIKE, MAN, I NEVER SEE YOU LEAVE CAMPUS, OR YOUR HOUSE SO HOW CAN YOU PAY FOR GROCERIES OR RENT IN THIS ECONOMY 😭

Just a silly question lol and if they don’t have jobs, what job do you think they’d have? 🧐 Personally, I feel like Changmin would work at a Target KEHKFHKE he’s just giving those vibes yk? Chanhee gives off retail vibes fs while Sangyeon is giving home depot OH AND ERIC WOULD BE WORKING AT ONE OF THE HOTDOG STANDS THATS ALWAYS OUTSIDE THEM 💀😭 Canada bros would suit the library methinks, they would def be the type to work with kids in the summer programs or would help tutor 😌 I could also see Kevin working at a pet shop or a barista? 🧐 Haknyeon also gives off barista vibes though especially with his fluffy hair these days 😭🫶

Ok that’s enough for my little ramble this week LOLOL happy to see that you finally embraced your Changmin love 🤭 hope you have an amazing rest of your week! :D

(Also if you have any poetry recs then lmk hehe)

- Always and forever, love, 🌷 anon

he won 😔 i wanted out of the basement 😔 and this was the only compromise 😔 im sorry jacob i repent 😔 for my sins 😔

PLS NOT THE FNAF AHAHAHHAHAH BC SAME 🤡🤡🤡 ME FROM MY PROVERBIAL SECURITY ROOM QATCHING MYSELF AND YELLING DONT GO IN THERE U DUMB BITXH

omg honestly i absolutely love love love lip sync, eyes on me, and door like KWNFKSJDK R U SKIFIEBF KIDDING ME??!))<_] HEY . WHAT ABTNE MEU SANITY. HUH???? MY MIND IS NOT ANTIFRAGILE . it's doing things to me omg like i thought the simpery was bad before, but now 🤡🤣 oh boy 🤣🤡 also LOVE THAT FOR JACOB KING SHIT I LOVE ALL THE COVERS HE GETS TO POST CUZ YESSIR THATS MY HUSBAND 😭😭😭😭😭 (chxngmxn pay attention, u ARE THE SIDE HOE don't hurt me) OMG???? UR FIRST FIC???? HELLO HMU ONCE/IF U DO I'D LOVE TO SUPPORT U SKFJEOFJK unless ur uncomfy or shy tho i totally get it 🤧🤧 !!!

HELP ME 💀💀💀 I FORGOT THAT THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE JOBS LMFAOOOO the only one who has a canonical job rn out of the boyz is jacob BAHAHAHHAH STOP. CHANGMIN AT TARGET AJZBDIDJFODJF THATS SO FKN FUNNY HELPMEBDKSNFKJD I AM NEVER LETTING THAT GO AND HELLO???? UR RELEGATING SANGYEON TO HOME DEPOT AHAHHAHAHAHAYYA KDNFKSJFJ IM SCREECHING WHE EZING YELLIGN ERIC AT THE HOT DOG STAND I— 💀😭 pls there r tears falling down my cheeks rn this is hilarious. low-key i think kev could make money via freelance photography and being an ✨influencer✨, and maybe get eric to coach little league baseball LMAO sangyeons prob making big boy money, and haknyeon will prob find SOME restaurant to work at tbh (i can't believe i forgot to give them canonical jobs 💀 i m never letting go of target worker changmin pls that is so funny) omg WAIT haknyeon working at the target starbucks in the same target as changmin 💀💀💀 IMAGINE TBZ!TARGET WORKERS ALCMLSMFKDJF IM CRYING

i did not embrace my love for him 😔😭🤧 I AM BEING HELD HOSTAGE, GASLIT GATEKEPT AND GIRLBOSSED BY A SQUIRRWL A TREE RAT A PLANT RODENT—

ANYWAYS HOPE UR WELL 🌷!! 💖 loved seeing u in my inbox as always :') mWAH

[itsfkntrue]

It's OK to go...

In many ways I didn't want to write this, but I can't deny the insane way that this story ends.  It's the beginning and the middle which are the hard parts.

My dad was my hero, when I was a kid.  He was funny, successful, jacked, and had excellent taste in cars.  He did as he pleased,  most of the time, and believed that most things were negotiable if you played the game right.  He also fucked up, alot, but that came later.

So he was my hero, and the driving force behind my athletic passion to win.  I had the talent, but he gave me that extra motivation in his face as I walked off the field with a win, a goal scored.  Looking back it was ever present, and not understood at the time, but it kinda dominated me.

The day his father died, I saw him cry for the first time.  As I walked out of the funeral behind the coffin, waiting at the door like they always do just to really fkn torment the ones closest, I saw a car waiting on the street outside.  Coffin…car…tears.

I hug my family and hop in the car, they go to the cemetery to which I am ashamed to say I have still not been to.  One day I will.

I left bc I was the captain and leading scorer in the state and my team was in the soccer. sectional playoffs. I had to go, and it was going to be close. I believe the funeral was scheduled so I could make it, but no one ever told me.

I got to the field after changing in the car, ran out to the game and it immediatly started,  45 seconds later I scored.  We won one nothing and they hit the post, a round post, 3 times that day.  It was meant to be.  My family came after the burial, and my dad told me that night, behind I'm sure 3 or 4 dewars, that he loved me for what I gave him that day.   A gift 10 years in the making, and the greatest gift I ever gave anyone.

It was all decline from there on out with failed businesses,  depression, anxiety, alchohol, financial stress, and watching my stoic hero continue to fall.

The hardest day was when I told him he was no longer in charge of the family.   He sullenly accepted it like a man who had someone finally call out the truth he had known for years.  After, we got a drink together at his dive bar to just take the edge off and there I met his "friends".

After grabbing a bar seat, 3 different people came up to us and were super excited to meet me and share that they believed that my dad was the most amazing person they ever met.  God knows the stories he must have told over numerous chardonnays to the barflies in there, but it appears he was their champion like he was for me once.  It was beautiful and sad all at once.

After a routine biopsy surgery, my dad coded and was revived.  Revived to a remaining life of psychosis and confusion which lasted for 5 to 6 years.  In his mind he was living his life, windsurfing and closing deals, and feeding his dog from a supply of snacks that he didn't have.  He was in his mind, and that was better than being aware of the shithole hospital psych ward he was contained in.  We considered it in a demented way, better than what he was before. Sober, smoke free, but lost.

I saw him for the last time in December of 2020 in the middle of covid.  He was in terrible shape, could barely talk and was going to pass "any day".  I said my goodbyes and told him I loved him, to which i got the only noticeable response from someone clearly out of it.  I always thought he didn't hear me, and it bothered me as I left.  It continued to bother me.

2 weeks later I'm walking around my hood, and he was still barely holding on everyday.  I believe there is a connection between people that is not fully understood,  and 100 years from now maybe we will figure it out.  I felt a wave of connection hit me, so I decided i wanted to talk to him…

"Dad we love you and it's OK to go.  It's OK to go dad you're gonna be OK.  We love you, it's gonna be ok"

I felt peace wash over me, as if this was overdue.  I went inside and back to work until 2 hours later I got the call.  Dad passed away…

"what time was it when he died"  I asked...

It was 30 minutes after I "talked" to him.  2 weeks holding on and then, gone that day, that time.   My hero completed his fall, but I believe to this day he landed peacefully.

Once more Dad, we love you and I know you're ok.

[bizzlepotter]

NO WAY HOME SPOILERS

no way home spoilers

nO wAY hOMe SpoIlERSsssss

This is actually just me ranting because nobody else has seen the movie, my friends failed to get tickets and now they don't want any spoilers from me until they are able to watch it on Sunday so here I am, because ranting on tumblr is so much cheaper than therapy... which is what I actually need, bro.

I went to the cinema expecting to watch an epic come back and an amazing fight between the S6 and all three Spideys (bc I didn't believe Andrew for a second and I knew he was going to be there... Andrew, you little lying shit, I love you so much and I've missed you) but after the first ten minutes or so I knew this was going to be way darker and deeper that I've had anticipated.

I always said there was no way any other movie could compare to Endgame in the epic department because what could top every single avenger in the same movie? Cap lifting Jonathan? Tony Stark making the ultimate sacrifice? I still cry and mourn to this day. But this movie? I'm surprised but at the same time i'm not? Because I knew Marvel could always aspire to outshine itself movie after movie and they did exactly that in this one.

Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield and Tom Holland's Spidermans all in the same movie? They ended Tobey's universe because they wanted a fresh start (I think), Andrew's because the critics hated him and "wasn't popular", and Tom's because they really really wanted a Spiderman in the MCU that they agreed to literally hold no profit from him (I honestly don't understand that agreement between Sony and Disney and don't try to explain it to me, my brain can't do the thinking thing rn)

And they put THEM ALL TOGETHER, like it was a fkn family reunion, a sad, depressive family reunion, just to make us all go mad. The whole movie theater was in chaos, you could hear the screams from outside the building, not because they had failed to soundproof it, no, it was because every single people inside was screaming, over 500 people, at the same time. Every 5 minutes there was something wild to roar about.

Tobey and Andrew coming out of the portals. That hilarious "you want me to crawl? Isn't fhis enough? I'm sticking to the ceili... please, stop throwing bread at me". Tobey "innocent baby" Maguire smiling and waving. The lab scene with the webshooters and the "I'm sorry, did that just come out of you?". The "I lost someone too. Gwen, my... My MJ" (oh god, the EMOTIONS).

TOBEY TELLING ANDREW HE IS AMAZING, NOT WILLING TO HEAR ANY KIND OF CRITICISM OR ARGUMENT ABOUT IT "NO, YOU ARE AMAZING AND AWESOME AND I LOVE YOU... I KNOW YOU NEED TO HEAR THAT BECAUSE I'M YOU, SO YEAH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MY AMAZING LITTLE SPIDER, LOVE YOURSELF"

The fact that Andrew's Spidey knew deep down he wasn't the favorite (don't know what that means, he is my #1, I've never stopped loving him), the little grunt when the Lizard (I think it was the Lizard or maybe Electro, idk, I was screaming) told him he wasn't the biggest sh*it anymore because he kneeew, he knew the public's opinion about him (again, my favorite Spidey, he deserved so much better), even after Tobey told him he was the shiniest star out there.

Tobey and Ock reunited once again, you could see in Peter's eyes how much he had missed Otto, or at least was relieved to see him well and alive once again. "You are all grown up now, my dear boy", yeah, I needed that.

Andrew. Catching. MJ.

And at the verge of tears while holding her in his arms. I know he has never stop thinking about Gwen's death, how much he had wish to go back in time and do something different so he could save her. And when he saw MJ falling and Peter1 getting railed by the board, his brain just clicked "notagainnotagainnotagainnotagain never again". The relieve in his eyes, he finally caught her, he had been waiting for that moment for years, had gone bitter and furious for far too long and he finally got to catch Gwen, not his Gwen but he caught her. At last.

That scene. D*amn. I knew it was coming, it wasn't a spoiler, I just knew because if Andrew was there, and MJ was falling, I knew he would catch her.

Tom going wild on the Green Goblin and lifting the board, ready to finish that man without a second thought for what he did to May (we are never going to talk about that scene in the lobby. EVER. IT DID NOT HAPPEN. MAY JUST WENT ON VACATION TO ROME) and Tobey having flashbacks and stepping in to stop Tom, not willing to let this kid version of him make any mistakes, he somehow saw what would've happened if Peter succedded on sending Norman to the great beyond. Peter Parker would have gone totally mad, Spiderman be d*amned. He knew that wasn't him. So he stepped in, no words needed, just "look at me, that's enough, you are not this, you'll never be this" and it was so powerful, once again reminding us that every Peter had gone through stuff, you can tell Tobey and Andrew still were going through stuff, would have loved to see more of that but time was against us.

Everyone forgetting Peter... that hit hard, that hurt so much, he is utterly alone, no one knows him, no one remember his name, what he had done, what he was, what he had been through, he is all alone, dealing with May's death by himself. At least if May had been alive and she had forgotten about him, Peter would have been fine with that because that meant she was safe...but no. He is grieving yet again, but this time, not just May's demise, but for every single person who knew him and loved him and he loved back.

But hey, Spidey finally is Spidey, like, himself. No AI, no multi-billion suit, no back-up killing drones, nanobites, anything, just Peter Parker, off to dealing with low life criminals and helping grannies cross the street. And I love it so much.

Peter is the next Tony Stark, he is, Tony chose him but not to follow his steps, nonono, he is the next big superhero who would give his life to save the world, who would sacrifice everything for the greater good, he now is that man. He grew up, he is now the man Tony knew he would be, choosing to do the right thing the right way instead of the convenient way.

We will see more of Spiderman in the MCU, I'll not have it any different, we know Tom just got a renewal, he is due to be in more MCU movies and I can't wait to see him... now that part of Venom is lost in a new universe (Sony and T. Hardy literally put a gun to Disney's head and said "we want gay, Disney, and I have this bi himbo disaster and his slimy very gay extraterrestrial boyfriend and they are showing their love and gayness in this movie wether you like it or not"), we need to see Venom totally freaking out and looking for his Eddie but finding a depressed spider instead (totally making that up, it would probably be one of his babies, kinda like Carnage, who knows)

I have more tickets to watch this movie today, tomorrow and Sunday so I can cry and scream all over again. Thank you past me, who knew me so well to buy more than one ticket because I knew one wasn't going to be enough for my sanity.

[quadrennial-if]

Hi Bella! I was wondering if you've played any completed IFs? If so, do you have any recommendations?

p.s. I love your story idea so much and I can't wait to read it!! 💗🤩

ahh thank you!! i'm so excited to share it with you guys! :-)

i've read an unhealthy amount of IF novels so this is a long post lol, but here's some completed ones that I really enjoyed:

The Wayhaven Chronicles - @seraphinitegames

this is a classic, there's two books out right now and they're so good - vampires, crime, and romance .. need i say more?

Keeper of the Sun and Moon - @keeperofthesunandmoon

ugh this fantasy IF is top tier and it has so many great RO routes, also i think the second book just came out!

Fallen Hero: Rebirth - @fallenhero-rebirth

be a hero? be a villain? be ... somewhere in between? super sick plot and incredibly angsty (which y'all know i love)

- and here's some wips that i forgot to include in my other post, but i'm also obsessed with:

The Golden Rose - @anathemafiction

the demo is just so fkn good. the writing is amazing, the plot is very well thought out, and the ROs are sexy ✨ - i think the author might've completed the story recently, and i'm so amped to read it when it comes out!

Speaker - @speakergame

a super dope modern fantasy wip - you, your psychic sister, and your ragtag group of friends try to save people from a fatal destiny. the demo is really good, and i can tell that this story is going to get wild 🤭

Whisper in the Dark - @whisper-game

one of the first IF demos i read, and i've probably re-read it 20 times LOL - investigate an unsettling murder and be a bad bitch ... oh, also, you have a demon in your head! 🤫

Sentinel - @nyehilismwriting

another demo that i've read way too many times lmaoo - it's a fantasy/horror story with some super creepy concepts, and the characters and plot are wonderfully written!

i suck at writing a good synopsis so you'll just have to take my word for it, these IFs are really fkn great (source: dude, trust me aha ha)

[six-of-ravens]

To do today:

be up and dressed by 9 to wait (hopefully not very long) for the dudes to bring the washer

clean the exact space where I want them to put the new machine since it can't go in the fkn laundry closet

watch Rachel Maksy's newest video (ooh and Bernadette Banner's!) for motivation

since I have to be at home, dressed, and awake all day for once instead of in my usual Weekend Potato state, I'm gonna focus on all that housework I've been putting off over the past few weeks (side note please understand that when you see these lists...I usually only do 2 things off of them lmao): tidy Everything, clean desk, clean coffee table/daybed, clean bathroom, bag up laundry to take to the parents place tomorrow, vacuum/mop, put the fern back on its shelf and clean up the leaves it shed, any other miscellaneous cleaning that's been irking me for weeks

start The Replacement

potentially do a yoga to help my back deal with having to drag around a 200lb appliance unaided bc all of these Big Strong Men who've been in and out of my apt have been USELESS (jk they've been very nice but the "I'll leave this washer in the middle of the hall for the next Big Strong Man to deal with" impulse is...strong in them.)

potentially make that amazing acorn squash chicken pot pie recipe if I get motivated to go to the store for ingredients (unlikely, it's rainy and cold and I'm dedicated to that Waiting Around the House life now) or find something else to do with this chicken

[whatwxsright]

--

[keroujack]

ok SO i loved every fkn sentence of you're cold and i burn. BUT i'm writing now to say that i'm beyond excited to read crown yourself. can't do it before you've completed it all though, because in every way i'm incapable of NOT reading everything in like one sitting, sooo... the idea of having to wait for more??? can't do it to myself. i just can't. so yeah!! i guess i just wanted to say i can't wait and that you're an amazing writer!! hope you're doing well xx

anon, you absolute angel, i can’t even begin to explain the face i made reading this. like. actual hearts in my eyes. blush on my cheeks. full on smile. this is all WAY too nice of you to say and i appreciate it so so much and it makes me so happy to know that you liked you’re cold (and i burn) bc that fic holds a real special place in my heart, so thank you for taking the time to say it 🥰❤️

and gaHFJDKALS; i’m glad you’re looking forward to crown yourself!! i feel awful bc it’s really slow going, but my head’s kind of all over the place rn. i’m in the middle of law school applications, so getting my brain to switch gears from that into Writing Mode or Fandom Mode is a little tougher than when i have less on my plate. so ideally when all that’s done, it should come quicker. but it makes me real glad to know that you’ll be there at the finish line waiting for it 

thank you again for sending me this bc it seriously made my heart grow 3 sizes, grinch style. ily very much and i hope you have a great and bright and lovely day ❤️✨

[wlw-mess]

when u finish big little lies so u gotta Go to Monterey tomorrow

[taegularities]

rid!!! 🫶 hi, how are you? hows work going??? tell me all the tea 🤭

ive been working like crazy these past couple of weeks, literally 38 hours a week (super stacked paychecks tho 🤭) so i apologize for being less active 🫶

oh my goodness rid, the last cmi update was incredible ‼️ i think that chapter has officially become my favorite part! i loved all the flashbacks, it was refreshing to see their relationship blooming 🥺 and the SMUT RID. you never fail to amaze me, but my god that was incredible (i need more mean jk for sure) 🤭

THE LAST LINE RID... she better stay over (or i will 🫣) i cant wait for the next part!!

i hope you are doing well! sending hugs and love always 🫶

- wife from war anon 💂‍♀️

i am 1000 years late to this and i'm sorry, but i still wanna say how much i appreciate you 😭 babe, work's been fine !! i really like the ppl there and so far, besides a couple lil issues, i have nothing to complain about !! is work still so stressful for you? :(

i'm so happy you liked that part !! honestly, i think it's one of my favs, too, but cmi9 might just take the crown fr 🥹 you shall get mean jk very soon btw. he demands it :') YESSS THE LAST LINE LOL what a mean ass cliffhanger 😭 i can't fkn wait to show y'all what goes down in the next chapter </3

sending you all my love n hugs, lovely !! 💕