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writethelifeyouwant · 3 years

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Nothing On But The Radio

Pairing: Jared x Jensen Rating: 18+ Tags: SAXX, clothing kink, dirty talk, degradation, blowjob, anal fingering, object insertion (DO NOT try this at home - not safe), anal sex Word Count: 2.7k Created for: @spnkinkbingo - SAXX | @anyfandomgoesbingo - Dirty Talk Prompt: @downanddirtydean 's 500 follower celebration challenge: “The internet is more than just naked people. You do know that?” - Congrats on the milestone babe!

“The internet is more than just naked people. You do know that – right?”

Jared jumps in his chair as Jensen comes up behind him on set. He had been scrolling through the SAXX website to stock up on a few necessities, which isn’t necessarily embarrassing, but still not something you want people looking over your shoulder while you’re doing. “They’re not naked, Jensen,” Jared scoffs, going back to adding more pieces to his cart. “And stop stealing my lines,” he adds as an afterthought when he realises that Jensen was quoting Sam to him.

“Okay, mostly naked,” Jensen laughs and leans over the back of Jared’s chair, their heads almost touching, but not quite.

“Dude, do you mind?” Jared chuckles and tries to put some space between him and his co-star.

“Yeah, I mind. Lemme see,” Jensen grabs for the phone and starts scrolling through Jared’s cart. “I want to pick something out.”

“Why? So you can steal them for yourself?” Jared grins.

“No, so I can tear them in half before I fuck you in them,” Jensen whisper-growls into Jared’s ear so no one else can hear him. Jared goes bright red, checking no one is near enough to overhear them. “What, you embarrassed baby boy? Don’t want everyone around here knowing a big, strong guy like you lets himself get fucked in the ass every night?” Jared is pretty sure he’s stopped breathing. “Don’t want them to know what a little whore you turn into the second I get you alone and on your knees?”

“Jesus, Jen, fuck,” Jared gulps and steadies himself, trying to get a handle on the erection that is starting to push a little too insistently against his zip. “Shove the dirty talk, will ya? We’ve got a whole other scene to film before they let us outta here.”

“So is that a yes to buying whatever I pick out?” Jensen smirks.

“Yes, fine,” Jared concedes and sinks back in his folding chair. “Just nothing pink, yeah?”

“Oh, I am one hundred percent buying you the pink ones now,” Jensen grins and Jared drops his head into his hands. Why is his boyfriend such a doofus?

Their little exchange is all but forgotten until Jared drops by his trailer and sees Jensen waiting on the steps for him, brown cardboard box in hand.

“Terri dropped off a package for you,” Jensen waves the box around in case it hadn’t been obvious to Jared what he meant. “I told her I’d be sure to give it to you,” he grins. Jared’s heart skips, knowing exactly what is in that box. Well – not exactly what is in the box. He knows everything he added to his cart before Jensen got hold of his phone, but Jen hit ‘purchase’ before he passed it back, and deleted the receipt, so there was no way for Jared to figure out what Jensen had ordered.

“Why do I feel like there’s a decent chance you’ve hidden a bomb in here,” Jared asks as he gingerly takes the package from Jensen and pushes into his trailer.

“Because you’re weird,” Jen laughs, staying on the pavement. “They need me for blocking checks but we’re done in time for dinner if you’re free?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Jared nods.

“And, Jar–” Jared turns back around at Jensen’s call. “I count on seeing you in those tonight.”

“Which ones?” Jared calls back, a feeble attempt at a joke.

“Oh, you’ll know which ones,” Jensen laughs, and Jared can feel the hunger in it. He gives Jared a perfunctory salute and makes his way back to the soundstage, leaving Jared with his new package.

As soon as the trailer door is shut, Jared tears into the box. The relief he feels upon not seeing any pink is immediate, but it’s closely followed by suspicion about what Jensen actually did buy him. He quickly skims through the items and finds the culprit – a pair of black briefs that are really testing the limit of the definition of ‘briefs’. Jared is positive that these will barely cover any part of his body, and when he tries them on a few minutes later, his suspicions are confirmed. He looks like a hooker in a g-string. Almost certain that he is going to regret this later, Jared pulls his jeans back on over the new underwear and gets redressed.

When Jared and Jensen stumble back into their shared apartment later that night, very much worse for wear courtesy of the new whiskey bar downtown that Misha recommended to them, Jared had mostly forgotten that he’s wearing ridiculously skimpy underwear. Jensen, on the other hand, hasn’t been able to get the image of Jared in the tight black briefs he’d bought him out of his head – and now he wants to see if the real thing measures up to his imagination.

“Right, J-rod,” Jensen claps once to get Jared’s attention and points to their bedroom, “bedroom, strip, now.”

“Romantic Jay,” Jared grins dopily but does as he’s told.

“Trust me, ain’t nothing romantic about what I’m planning on doing to that ass of yours,” Jensen laughs and follows Jared, catching the recently-shed flannel Jared flings down the hallway at him.

“Bettin’ on it,” Jared smiles, stripping out of his t-shirt in the doorway to their room and dropping it to his feet. Jensen can see the waistband of Jared’s underwear peeking above his jeans, the little ‘SAXX’ right in the centre of the deliciously cut vee of Jared’s hips. Jensen wants nothing more than to run his tongue along the line straight to Jared’s cock – and then he realises there’s nothing stopping him, so he drops to his knees in front of his boyfriend and does just that. He drags his tongue across Jared’s skin, smiling when he hears his intake of breath, and moves lower and lower until he reaches the ‘SAXX’ label and sucks it into his mouth. Jared jumps when Jensen lets it go and the elastic snaps back against his stomach. “Jerk,” he whines.

“Shuddup ‘Sam’,” the intonation is heavy in Jensen’s words and he drops into his ‘Dean’ voice, grinning as he undoes the button and zip on Jared’s jeans, tugging them down harshly and leaving him bare except for the skimpy underwear. “Unless you want me to make you my bitch tonight?” Jensen uses his Dean voice again as he leans into mouth against the erection straining in Jared’s briefs, the black cotton bulging so much Jensen’s surprised Jared actually fit himself inside them in the first place – now he was hard they barely cover anything.

Jared moans at the feeling of Jensen’s mouth against his cock. Something about getting sucked off through fabric always hits a bit differently than just having someone’s mouth on your dick, and right now, with Jensen suckling intently on the tip of his dick through his briefs, this is hitting exactly the right spot for Jared. “Fuck,” he whimpers, threading his fingers through Jensen’s hair, “Jen, you know if you want me to be your bitch, all ya gotta do is ask,” Jared pants, looking down to meet Jensen’s eyes, which are smirking up at him from where he still has his lips wrapped around Jared’s dick.

Jensen pulls off of Jared with a grin and gets to his feet. “Yeah I know, baby boy,” he coos and pulls Jared in for a heated kiss, tongue pushing its way between Jared’s lips, hot and wet. “Now, be a good little bitch and go get yourself ready for me, yeah?” Jensen smirks as he watches Jared nod and trip over his own feet in an effort to get to the bed quickly. He gets the lube out from the nightstand and goes to take off his underwear but Jensen hurries over to stop him. “Nuh uh, sweetheart. Keep those on for me,” Jensen orders with his hand clenched around Jared’s wrist.

“Sure,” Jared gulps, wide eyed, and moves his now slick fingers behind him and sneaks his hand beneath the waistband of his briefs to find his entrance. Jensen watches Jared hungrily as he fingers himself open, undressing all the while; plaid, then t-shirt, then jeans, then boxers – all one by one dropping to the floor. Jared moans when Jensen starts to stroke his own cock, admiring the drop of precum that’s already spilling over the dark pink tip. “C-can I?” Jared stutters, eyes locked on Jensen’s fingers moving slowly up and down himself.

“Yeah, c’mere baby,” Jensen kneels on the bed and shuffles closer so Jared can reach him with his mouth. The second he’s near enough, Jared sucks Jensen between his lips, running his tongue along the underside all the way to the hilt, until his nose is pressed snuggly against Jensen’s hip. “Fuck, forgot how much of a cockslut you are when you’re drunk,” Jensen chuckles deeply, combing Jared’s hair back off his forehead so he can watch him start to move up and down on his dick. “That’s it baby. Shit, your mouth feels so good,” he groans, closing his eyes and bucking his hips into Jared’s eager throat. “Such a good little slut letting me fuck your mouth while you finger that ass open for me. Got you wrapped around my little finger don’t I, bitch?” Jared moans around the cock in his mouth but Jensen doesn’t let up enough for him to get a proper answer out. “Yeah, thought so,” he scoffs.

Jared hums and moans around Jensen’s cock as he continues to finger himself. He’s definitely stretched and slick enough now, but he loves the feeling of Jensen using him like this, so he’s not gonna stop until Jensen tells him that’s what he wants him to do. After a few more minutes of Jensen fucking his throat, Jared feels him start to tense and jerk, and he knows Jen is close.

“Stop, stop, fuck baby,” Jensen groans, pulling Jared off his cock by his hair, and drawing a whine from the younger man. “Don’t want me to cum before I get the chance to fuck that ass, do you?” Jared shakes his head weakly, still pushing his fingers lazily in and out of his hole. He whimpers when he pulls his fingers out, and Jensen smirks down at him as he tries to once again take off the pair of SAXX. Jensen catches Jared’s wrists and holds them behind his back, pushing him onto his stomach. “I didn’t say you could take those off,” he growls against Jared’s ear, nipping at the skin and pulling another whimper out of him. Jensen sits up, keeping Jared’s wrists pinned in one of his hands while he reaches for the lube with the other to slick up his cock. “Your ass looks so good in these baby, look like such a little tease.” He lands a harsh slap against Jared’s backside, making Jared jump and cry out. “Imagine if all those fans saw more than just the label peeking out over your jeans, saw what a big man whore you look like with nothing but these on.”

“Jen, please,” Jared groans, humping against the bed to try to get some kind of friction or relief. “You want me to beg, I’ll beg, please for the love of God, put your cock inside me.” Jensen just laughs and spanks Jared again, even harder this time. “C’mon Jen, please, need you,” Jared pants, looking over his shoulder to catch Jensen’s eye. The desperation on his face is clear as he moans – “Need something inside me, please Jay.”

“You need something inside you baby boy?” Jensen sympathises, relinquishing his grip on Jared’s wrists, but the look of mischief in Jensen’s eyes makes Jared nervous.

“Yes, fuck, please,” Jared begs again.

“We can fix that,” Jensen smirks, reaching forward to grip just under the waistband of Jared’s briefs and wrenching the seam apart, the underwear ripping easily under Jensen’s violent influence. Pieces of the briefs come away in Jensen’s hand and he grins, getting an idea. Eyeing the shine of Jared’s hole, Jensen gathers some of the lube leaking out and smears it over the cotton, which is already damp with lube and Jared’s precum where his cock had been leaking. Bunching up the sopping cloth, Jensen pushes a finger into Jared to check he was still adequately open, then he shoves the torn material inside.

Jared chokes on his moans in surprise at what he’s feeling. The ball of cotton is pressing just against his prostate and it’s a very weird sensation but he can’t deny it feels good. “Fuck Jen,” he groans, pushing off his stomach and onto his hands and knees. Jensen lets out his own groan when he sees Jared’s hole winking up at him, showing him glimpses of the black cotton he’d just shoved inside him. He ruts his cock along the seam of Jared’s ass, catching the tip on the edge of his hole and dragging groans from both men. Jensen can’t hold himself back anymore, and he finally pushes himself into Jared, moving agonisingly slowly to tease the younger man as much as possible.

“You dick,” Jared pants, dropping his head to rest against his arms and pushing his hips back into Jensen’s cock, forcing him the rest of the way inside.

“Someone’s eager,” Jensen tries to keep his tone light, but now that he’s inside Jared, who keeps clenching his ass around his cock in an effort to get him to do something, he’s lost the majority of his composure.

“Just fucking fuck me already,” Jared hisses, bucking his hips back again. Jensen is tempted to make Jared wait, and beg for it – tease him until he’s crying in desperation – but he knows even he won’t last that long. As he draws out and snaps his hips back in, the tip of his cock brushes against the cotton he’s shoved into Jared and the sensation is electrifying. The little bit of slick friction just on the tip of his cock every time he fucks into Jared is so fucking good, he can’t get enough, and his pace turns frantic quickly. “Fucking hell, fuck yes,” Jared moans beneath him, spurring him on even more. “You fuck me so fucking good baby, shit, don’t stop, don’t stop, don’–” Jared’s words trail off into unintelligible whimpers as Jensen pounds into him mercilessly.

“Yeah, fucking love how good you take it baby. Gonna cum on my cock like a good little whore? My good little bitch, huh?” Jensen grits out breathlessly, draping himself over Jared’s back and angling his hips so he knows he’s dragging his cock over Jared’s sweet spot with every push in.

“Fuck, please, please,” Jared whimpers, turning his face to Jensen’s and clumsily trying to press their lips together. “I– I’m.. fuck,” Jared keens and Jensen growls his approval against his ear.

“C’mon, cum for me baby boy, wanna feel you cum,” Jensen snarls and he feels Jared let go, his hole spasming around Jensen’s cock as he empties himself in long white ropes onto the bed beneath them. Feeling Jared lose control is all that Jensen needs to go over the edge himself. He finally lets himself cum, grunting as he slams his hips into Jared one last time and stills, the tip of his cock pressed against the ball of black cotton still nestled inside Jared, now covered in Jensen’s cum. That thought brings a satisfied smirk to Jensen’s lips.

When their breathing has settled, Jensen carefully pulls out of Jared and rolls off of him, collapsing on the bed. Jared drops on top of him, nestling into Jensen’s chest and giving him a small kiss.

“That was really hot Jen,” Jared smiles drunkenly – though whether he’s drunk on whiskey or his orgasm, Jensen can’t tell.

“Just like you, baby boy,” Jensen says softly, kissing the top of Jared’s head.

“But,” Jared says shiftily, glancing up at Jensen.

“But?” Jen prompts, defensively.

“How am I supposed to get this fucking underwear out of my ass?”

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#downanddirtydeans500followerscelebration #spnkinkbingo #anyfandomgoesbingo #afgbingo #J2 Fic #jared x jensen #j2 smut

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obeymeplz · 3 years

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one of those days ll mammon x gn reader

LISTEN guys... I’ve peeled through every single fanfic and one shot of my boy boy that I can find.

I’m done, finished, kaput. And I need content. So I decided to make my own.

2k words, ft. Belphie my salty homie

Warnings: mean(ish) mammon (because I’m a hoe for angst, highly implicative of smut...?, cussing...?

Enjoy ig ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry if I suck LOL

It was one of those days, and it all began when you dropped your plate of pickled pancakes (it’s an acquired Devildom taste) all over your crisp, white shoes. Beel involuntarily frowned at the waste of food, while the other demon boys snickered at your inherent clumsiness, Lucifer merely rolling his eyes before excusing himself from the table. But someone was missing that morning.

From that moment on, you knew nothing would be going your way.

Your bad luck followed you to second period, where you received a colossal “F” on your scrying test, and then to lunch where Satan and Asmo had to pull you out of a fight with a succubus who had thought it her business to label you a “suck up whore”. This was a name you were used to; from the moment you arrived, every demon and unthinkable hoard in the Devildom believed you to be sleeping with every brother in the House of Lamentation, playing through all of them with zero consequences. Despite the utter falsity of these accusations, they hurt no less every time you had to hear them.

And to top today’s cake with a juicy red cherry, the one single person who could make all your worries melt away with just a smile had been nowhere in your sights all day. Mammon was indeed the sunshine you needed on this dreary afternoon, with his dumb tinted glasses and cocky remarks, yet endearing eyes and wondrous grin.

Staring out the window of an empty chem room, waiting for someone to be available to walk you home, you realized that it was an odd day - such a new world you’d been thrown into, yet so quickly you had familiarized yourself with your new “normal”; and now that normal wasn’t there. There were certain things you knew, day in and day out.

The sun will (sort of) rise.

The sun will (kind of) set.

You live in Hell.

Mammon will always be there.

These things you counted on to be true, because if they weren’t, you weren’t entirely certain how you’d keep your sanity intact.

“For a human who’s supposed to be completely inferior to our kind, you sure do seem to think a lot”.

Belphie.

“Gee, Belphie, you know, “you sure do” have a way with words. Thank you! I just feel so much better”, you scoffed a retort as you swung your legs over the ledge of the window to face the cow-haired boy, clearly having just woken from sleeping through 7th period. He only smirked at you.

“I heard you need a warm body to walk next to, and I figured I could use the company. Home?”

You smiled smally as he helped you to your feet. “Yeah, home sounds nice”.

He reciprocated the smile.

“So, what really has you down in the dumps?”

You shrugged as you tried to formulate a thought that might make sense to him.

“Well… I guess I-”, you had to cut off mid sentence, because something familiar began to tickle your ears — a laugh, one you’d been aching to hear all day.

“Belphie, is that… is that Mammon? Where has he been all day?”, you were asking the question, but your legs were already moving you out the door away from the answer. He replied, but you could only piece together bits as you got further away from him, following the voice of the snow-haired boy instead. Argument, Mammon left, crashed with friends, all night, definitely in trouble. That’s what you processed.

“Mammon-” you rounded the corner, but halted in your tracks, backing behind it when you came near face-to-face with a group of demons much taller and much stronger than you, energies darker than the ones you were used to being surrounded by.

He hadn’t heard you.

“Bro, that was a riot. You gotta swing with us more often my man”.

“Ya know Lucifer wouldn’t even think ‘bout lettin’ me ride with you guys on the day-to-day. ‘Sides, I got things to do”.

“You mean a human to babysit?”, your breath caught in your throat. You heard Mammon scoff.

“No! I do what I want. They’re cool.”

Your heart pounded into your throat (but that’s something you’d never let him know). You were just friends, and you weren’t sure if you’d ever be more. Sure, he was terrible at hiding how much he cared about you, and sure, he was ridiculously possessive over you, but he’s also the Avatar of Greed, so how much of that is him needing you versus his sin needing you? The way you saw it, neither of those things amounted to relationship-worthy love.

The conversation was droning on, and you’d almost forgotten you were listening.

“So, you fuckin that then or what?”

Your head snapped back into full awareness, the tone of your feelings completely changing every second, anxiously awaiting your favorite demon’s reply. Why were you so nervous? He wouldn’t lie about you, he wouldn’t slander your name — not with what people already thought of you because you lived in a giant house with 7 painfully-attractive, desire-filled, and experienced, rulers of Hell.

“Yeah, the rumors true?”

Mammon’s voice came next at a grumble.

He stuttered it.

You almost didn’t catch it.

You must not have.

“Y-yeah. No, I mean absolutely. I mean, how could a human even turn down The Great Mammon? They couldn’t, and they don’t.”

You must not have heard it — but you did, and you almost wished you hadn’t

Before your thoughts could catch up with your limbs, you found yourself rounding the corner yet again. “Yeah, how could they not, Mammon?”, your voice cracking at the end, despite all your efforts to come across smooth and level-headed.

“MC..”, Mammon’s mouth instantly hung open, his chill facade easily melting away. He looked almost identical to a lost puppy within moments.

“Oh you can bet, Mammon fucks me every single night — no feelings involved, because that’s just the kind of big man he is. He’s even fucking me RIGHT NOW. Right, Mon?”, you seethed his nickname through your teeth. Tears were starting to puddle at the lids of your eyes, threatening to expose just how much you really cared for him, and just how unspeakably broken you felt in that moment.

“M-MC. Pl- please don’t —“, he was already approaching you, pushing past the group of boys. You turned on your heel, catching the watching eyes of Belphie at the end of the hall. You ran for him until you were in reach to yank on his arm, pulling him behind you, as fast and as far away from that school, and Mammon, as possible.

“MC!”

Mammon will always be there.

Mammon would not always be there. This was a new truth you heartbrokenly added to your list.

———————————————————-

Your room was icily cold, numbingly so.

You always kept it like that when you were sad, hoping maybe some of the lack of feeling in your body would translate to your heart.

Hoping you wouldn’t feel so shattered.

You trusted him. And he broke it. He broke you.

These are obvious statements, but as you laid solemnly tucked under a heap of blankets, you couldn’t help but run them, and the scene from today, over and over again through your brain.

Maybe you were overreacting?

Mammon had always been the brother, despite his tsundere attitude, who protected you. He never lost his cool with you, and he never treated you poorly. Maybe he made a few callous remarks here and there, but they were gentle underneath, and just his own way of showing you a glimpse of the angel wings he’d lost a long time ago.

Mammon had become your home.

“MC?”

The voice was muffled through the door, but it was undoubtedly him. You weren’t sure if you were shocked, happy, angry, or assured that he had come, but either way, you wouldn’t dare leave your covers to open the locked door. Not yet.

“MC. Please. Open the door. I-I just wanna talk to ya…”

You didn’t budge.

“I will kick this down, ya know”. You were both quiet until you heard some shuffling outside. Your eyes went wide, ready for a foot to come flying through shards of your door. You scrambled to your feet, stumbling over to the rusted knob.

You cracked it open.

“Please don’t. I don’t want to sleep in Beel’s room another week because my room needs renovating for the millionth time.”

Mammon smiled shyly at you, apologetically more than anything.

“Can I.. ya know, come in?”

You pulled out of the way, making just enough room for the tall, lean demon to slip through the crack in your door.

The moment he stepped in, he was engulfed in darkness, nothing but dim threads of moonlight that seeped in through your curtains to highlight the sharp features of his face and body. He’d shed his jacket since earlier, leaving him in his fitted black tee and jeans.

So beautiful.

You mentally slapped yourself for even thinking about it.

You were mad at him.

“So. Please talk. I’m exhausted and wasn’t planning on even looking at you tonight.” You were curt. But you had to be, or else you wouldn’t be able to hold anything back, whether that be anger, or adoration.

He looked taken back — hurt — too. He glanced at your bed and the candy wrappers strewn about the floor. Mammon wasn’t too bright, but he knew enough to know when someone had been crying for well over an hour.

On a normal occasion, he would’ve thrown himself onto your sheets, rolling until he found a comfortable position to scroll his D.D.D. and poke at you for hours.

But tonight, he awkwardly crossed his arms and shuffled his feet, clearly unsure of what to say first — or at all, for that matter.

“I-“

You raised a tired eye, cueing him to spit whatever excuse he could possibly say out.

“I get a bad rep sometimes.”

What?

“For liking ya.. Hanging with ya.”

If this was an apology, it was the worst one you’d ever heard in your life.

“Oh? Sorry. I didn’t mean to be a burden to your bravado. Let me continue to take myself out of the picture.” You pointed at the door for him to leave, ready to break down the moment he walked through.

“No! That- that’s not what I meant.” He made eye contact for a mere moment, silently begging for you to see his sincerity.

“Is anything ever what you mean, Mammon?” The use of his full name in a mix with that tone clearly set him back, but he shook it off hurriedly.

“Yes! I mean, I don’t care. Usually. I’d-I’d just had a rough day with Luci. Rough life, more like, and I was tired of feelin’ like shit ‘bout myself. Nazriel’s question jus’ threw me off. I-I wanted to seem cool, so I said what I knew would make me, and-“

“And you’re a piece of shit for it”.

You weren’t wrong. And he knew that.

“... and I’m a piece of shit for it.”

There was a pause before he hesitantly continued.

“I wound up bein’ exactly what I was tryin’ not to be. Scummy.”

He raised his eyes to meet yours, blue hues morphing into gold flecks like waves crashing on the beach. Your breath hitched and caught in your throat, only now realizing that the whole time you’d been arguing, you’d both been slowly edging together. Now, you were dangerously close.

“You aren’t scummy, Mammon…”, you began to tenderly look at him.

“Yeah.. I am. But that’s just me, I guess. I can’t mind it.”

He took one step, leaving you toe to toe. Though one of the shorter of the boys, he still towered over you.

“I jus’ can’t be scummy to you.”

You tilted your head, heart and body language softening as he spoke.

“I shouldn’t be, and I don’ wanna be”.

His hands cautiously made their way to your shoulders, and you shuddered at the feeling that made its way through your bones.

“Mammon?”

“Yeah?”

“That apology shouldn’t have worked.”

He chuckled, “you’re right.”

You smiled, a true smile. The first one all day. And what came next, you knew probably shouldn’t. But you also didn’t really care.

“Mammon?”

He hummed in response, and you stood as high as you could on your tip-toes to kiss his cheek. His face deeply rouged the moment your lips met his hot skin.

His eyes were wide as you lowered yourself down, leaving a hand lingering on his arm.

In that moment, his aura shifted, and everything was suspensefully still. Within seconds, his arms wrapped you in a crushing hug, his breath heavy and warm behind your ear.

You sunk your weight into his, relishing the relief from the chill of your room, as you snaked your arms behind his back.

You weren’t entirely sure how long you stood like that, but you knew it must’ve been a while, because his grip was starting to affect your breathing.

“Mon- air”,

He lightened up and pulled back from you.

“S-sorry!”

Your lips turned up at the sight of his cute embarrassment. He scowled at you, knowing what you were thinking, but slowly started to laugh.

He leaned his forehead against yours, the sudden proximity causing you to let out a slight squeak.

“Ya drive me nuts, ya know?”

You searched his eyes, trying to make sure he was saying what you really thought he was.

This was a bad idea. For so many reasons.

But truthfully, neither of you gave two shits.

So he ghosted his lips over yours, his left fang biting his bottom, waiting for the sign to move — the sign that you wanted him, the sign that he would be enough.

The second you tilted your nose to the side of his, he crashed his mouth into yours.

From all the “first kisses” with your “first man” that you’d imagined, this was like none of them.

It was so

so much better.

It was fast, it was hard, but it wasn’t rough. It wasn’t brutal. It wasn’t empty. It was a cataclysm of feelings — pent up tension, pent up love.

As he dragged his mouth over yours, he hooked his hands under your legs, lifting you to wrap around him in one, swift movement. Then, he was on the move, backing himself toward your bed until the back of his knees met the mattress, and he collapsed, pulling your legs to straddle his lap. You hadn’t disconnected from his lips the entire time, still fervently needing more of him. You knew he felt the same. The demon of greed would most certainly never have enough of you. He tasted sweet and smelled strongly of an expensive cologne you knew he probably couldn’t actually afford. One of his hands stayed splayed on the top of your thigh, while the other worked to bring you even closer to him (if that was possible), pressing underneath your shirt to the skin on your back, two fingers edging their way into the beltline of your shorts.

He was careful not to take himself too far, to not lose control, and you could tell, so you worked your tongue past his lips. He sucked in a breath as the complete access to your mouth made room for him to deepen his greed for you. Slipping his tongue to meet yours, he nipped at your bottom lip, working his entire mouth in a blissful harmony.

He pulled back, heaving air, seeping desire from every muscle, just enough to speak to you,

“MC… I-I can’t… I can’t handle this... well... for much longer. I don’ know what I’m gonna do to ya…”, he began to pepper wet kisses down your neck, unable to keep himself off you long enough to even hear your reply.

You weren’t sure what else you were expecting, or if you were expecting anything else at all.

You were making out with a demon, after all.

You moved a hand to rake your nails through his frosty hair, and he leaned into the palm of your touch.

“It’s okay. I want you. All of you...”, it was only a whisper, but you were afraid if you spoke too loud, you’d snap the moment in half.

He did nothing but growl before reattaching his lips to yours, bringing his slender fingers to tug up at the hem of your shirt.

“I’m gonna do my best not to hurt ya…” he mumbled on your lips. You simply nodded, running your hands against his abs. He shivered at the contact, before helping you remove his own shirt.

Somewhere in the midst of him sliding on top of you, and the complete sight of the demon boy you had always longed for filling your soul, you heard the faintest of three words. You almost tricked yourself into believing they never entered the air, that they’d never left his lips.

But they were impossible to ignore.

“I love you”.

The sun will (sort of) rise.

The sun will (kind of) set.

You live in Hell, with 7 boys you dearly love,

but one holds you in the palm of his hand.

Mammon will always be there.

That night, he proved that truth to you over, and over again.

fin.

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luninosity · 3 years

Text

A few thoughts, mostly me trying to work out my own reactions, about the new Falcon & Winter Soldier trailer (under the cut, hopefully, to hide possible spoilers!):

(this is all just my own personal feels! yours may differ!)

~more Sharon! Sharon getting to actually be awesome, it looks like! I’m here for that!

~I like the overall look, obvious production values, clear exploration of another new genre (buddy action comedy)

~Mackie and Seb are obviously having a fantastic time!

~I like seeing a Bucky who’s sarcastic, (relatively) recovered from trauma, out there trying to help people/the world; I like the brief glimpses we get of Sam struggling with the legacy; on the other hand...

~...I really wish we’d gotten some more exploration of Bucky’s recovery, and also of Sam’s (probably complicated) feelings about taking up the shield - I feel like all the promo has been action/snark at the expense of emotion/interiority, and that feels like...not necessarily a bad omen, but like they’re going to just sidestep a lot of what I like best in a narrative, which is complex character development

~along the same lines, there’s definitely such a thing as *too much* snarky comedy, where every single line/scene is that and no genuine emotion or affection - minus sarcasm - ever balances it out; you’ve gotta have moments, even wordless ones (maybe especially wordless ones) in which these characters actually do seem to...like each other...respect each other...value each other’s contributions...right? (obvious example where this works well: Leverage)

~I feel like so much of the trailer is Sam being kind of a dick to Bucky, frankly, and Bucky being justifiably Grumpy about it. That’s not 100% a bad thing, and it’s fun, and it’s nice that Sam doesn’t walk on eggshells around Bucky, but it’s a dynamic that at least for me will get old fast if it’s *all* there is, or if it stays that one-sided.

~Sam’s joke about “you got your ass kicked by a little girl” REALLY doesn’t sit right with me. These two characters have to know by now that size and gender don’t mean anything when it comes to power, right? Why is this funny? Why say it? Why are audiences supposed to find it funny? If that’s an example of the humor we can expect, it worries me.

~Zemo is interesting in a post-Blip world! I completely understand him being utterly and totally done with superheroes, honestly. But we did just need them on a large and dramatic scale, didn’t we, in Endgame? Or...did we? Was Endgame basically unnecessary, as the world had moved on? (Of course we needed to get beloved characters back...) I hope the show actually takes the time to explore the nuance of his position, so it’s not just “superheroes suck and shouldn’t be around!” (which is an Evil Dude position, right? because we naturally sympathize with our heroes, so just being anti-heroes makes someone Evil, right? /sarcasm) but something actually informed by past events, a choice made by someone who’s looked at and thought long and hard about the world and how to make it a better place, and the ethics and cost of that decision - I want a villain who actually changes the heroes and how they think about themselves through the course of their confrontation, not just someone else we deal with and shrug and move on from

~I like Zemo’s costume choices!...still not a huge fan of Bucky’s new jacket; not flattering in cut/fit on Seb; I miss Bucky’s long hair, both purely for aesthetic reasons (more hair is good, people!) and because short-haired Bucky now just looks more like “generic white boy superhero;” having said that, I completely understand if it was a character choice, in order to shed the Winter Soldier persona, but I would’ve loved to’ve seen that reclaiming of self and agency!

~the Falcon outfit looks good! Love the wings and how much we get to see him in action!

~I really want to be optimistic, but...I’m also nervous. I wanted to love the trailer, and I like it, but I don’t love it. I don’t know that I trust Marvel with good character development these days, especially with Bucky, but also Sam. There’re elements I would’ve loved to see that I think would be very relevant right now - healing from trauma, Sam being empathetic, a complex villain, humor that feels kinder (maybe more about the job or *shared* experiences?) and less about making fun *of* someone - and I don’t think we’re going to get any of that.

~I do think we’re going to get an interesting exploration of Sam’s journey and his struggle with picking up the shield and the Captain America identity, which should be fantastic and also timely. I think they’re going to try to be funny, and it’ll definitely be quick and action-y and a decent fit in the genre they’re going for. I’m trying to be hopeful; remaining ambivalent but willing to be convinced.

~anyway, all just my personal thoughts, at this particular moment, after the Superb Owl trailer! your thoughts may differ!

#the falcon and the winter soldier #thoughts #spoilers

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shimmershae · 3 years

Text

My thoughts on Episode 6--On the Inside

Very appropriate title by the way. Works in a multitude of ways.

As always, my randomness is going beneath a cut again to spare the eyeballs of those of you that don’t want to see it at all and also? Help those of you that have somehow stayed spoiler-free in this brand-new age of early release episodes. It is still so wild to me that I’m a full episode ahead of half the fandom. I don’t know what I’m going to do when we get to the final episode and they decide to make us all suffer together--because somehow I do feel they will do exactly that after spoiling us for the first 23 episodes. It is going to be agonizing.

Anyway. Without further ado, Shae’s stream of consciousness review (of sorts).

Not fair, Angela. Opening the episode with that shot of that big ass spider. I hate those suckers. So naturally, they’re an easy sell for setting the horror scene to me, lol.

Okay. Who the hell’s chasing Virgil and Connie? Walker No-See-Ums?

Barely a minute in and the atmosphere for this episode is moody AF.

What is this? Tara Jr. The Walking Dead? LOL. Where’s the Scarlett for this mini plantation house? Anyway. First three minutes of this episode? Just as attention grabbing as the first five episode openings this season. I don’t think people out there are giving our writers enough love for that. Every episode so far has opened like a mini movie.

With the way the Walking Dead logo keeps crumbling away with each successive episode, somehow it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the Carol and Daryl spinoff was eventually titled The Living and had flowers growing out of each letter, lol. I mean, there would be a certain sort of life-affirming symmetry in a show that’s been promised to be much lighter in tone doing just that.

More Carol and Aaron? Yes, please. I don’t necessarily like Carol staying at home and sitting the sidelines like a figurative happy little homemaker in the B story while the rest of the mains are trying like hell to sell the A story, but if she’s going to be totally prohibited from the main storyline until it’s time to blow shit up? I’m going to continue enjoy getting to see her do what she should have been doing for seasons--interacting with others in the community, especially Aaron and the ladies.

Truly. I really am loving my girl getting some quality Aaron and Rosita time. It’s so long overdue.

Bless sweet Kelly. Riding off to her sister’s rescue.

Why isn’t Lydia shown as part of these plans? For someone that could barely read last season, I doubt that big ass map was a piece of cake for her and it’s all just guesswork anyway without her guidance. I mean, why does it feel like they are cutting some of this stuff that might not seem like much plot-wise but would go a long way toward establishing different character beats? Personally, I would have loved to see her involved in the search and sharing scenes again with Carol and bonding with Kelly.

Virgil be having that “I always feel like somebody’s watching me” feeling. Don’t you hate that, lol?

“You haven’t slept in days.” But how many days, Virgil? I’m going to need a number because I’m confused AF about this timeline at this point. What we’re seeing and what different pieces of dialogue is telling us is not exactly lining up. I’m going to find it awful hilarious if it hasn’t even been two weeks since the cave in. For reasons.

Connie’s spidey senses are clearly tingling.

Alrighty, then. She’s clearly got PTSD. Understandable. They’ve all had it. Some have been treated more sympathetically than others, though.

I mean, it never seems to cross anybody’s mind how Carol probably sees Henry’s head on that pike, Mika’s pale and bloody body, Lizzie crumpled face down in a bed of yellow flowers, Sophia with a smoking bullet hole through her undead head whenever she closes her eyes but whatever.

Okay though. But what if Connie had really shitty, impossible to read handwriting? AKA doctor’s handwriting. What then?

Leah’s face honestly twists my insides whenever I see it, lol. It’s quiet a visceral thing. No, that does not make me a horrible person. Not everybody wants or has to drink the awesome, great, redeemable villainess Kool-Aid. IMHO, she’s got a face meant for a Walker. Perfect makeover idea. Eh. Mostly it’s her expression and the deadness of her eyes.

Anyway. Why is it always the fingers? Eff that.

Listen. If ya’ll can’t tell Daryl’s conflicted AF with the situation he’s landed in, you don’t know how to read NR’s face and eyes. He’s not a masterclass like MMB but he’s pretty darn good when he wants to be.

I honestly feel sorry for Redshirt Frost.

“You do what you gotta do.” Frost knows what’s what and he’s willing to walk the walk for Maggie. Impressive loyalty. I’m left wondering how the current, colder incarnation of Maggie inspired it because I’m still struggling to see it. Anywho. My point is the dude knows the score and just gave Daryl the okay.

Daryl taking off his angel vest before stepping into the role of torturer/interrogator=him shedding the persona/the man Judith and RJ and Lydia and Carol know him to be. Pushing away his man of honor status so he can just survive somehow.

Pope never quits chewing whatever the hell he’s got in his mouth. It’s kind of distracting.

Ohhh. We’re back to the Haunted Mansion. I mean house. Where are the Hitchhiking Ghosts?

All the eyes scratched out of those creepy pictures=spooky.

The good old fogged up bathroom mirror shot. Somebody’s been watching and studying their horror movies, lol. Not gonna lie though. I’m legit bracing myself for the jump scares I know have to be coming.

I’m loving the music/score in these scenes.

Truthfully, I could care less about these Reapers. But they are hella attractive, lol. Listen. Angela knows what she’s doing.

Kelly’s horse is so pretty. Prayer chain for that baby.

More dead horses? Why?

Connie’s slingshot? Sorry. I maintain, no matter how much I like these two, that they have the lamest weapons ever. Endless supply of Virginia rocks or not.

So. Did Virgil and Connie enjoy a little equine for dinner? Did they kill it before the Walkers fed? What monsters! Yeah, no. Not if they were starving even if I personally could not have. The more probable story is they fled the camp in a panic and left the horse behind and then it went down. Sorry. I didn’t exactly study the wounds on the poor animal because it is so traumatizing to me to continue to see them meet such dastardly ends on this show. I don’t know who the hell has such a score to settle with horses but stop it.

Days. It’s only been days. Not weeks. So many times with all that Daryl and Company have had to contend with since the cave in? Those do not exist, lol. They’re just a convenient, appeasing piece of dialogue thrown at a fanbase primed and ready to read everything into not much of anything. There’s just not been enough time for it to happen unless Daryl has literally been up 24/7 for all of them. You know, strategizing how to attack the remainders of Alpha’s horde, figuring out how to defend Hilltop before it fell, healing from the wound he sustained at Alpha’s hand, sitting on that log all damn night with Negan waiting on Carol to come home, having a lover’s quarrel with his best damn everything, taking care of the Grimes babies and Lydia, being the reluctant leader. Kang, why you playing them like that? Daryl’s a super guy but he’s not a superhuman with clones. So many times my ass.

Seriously. Who been watching Connie and Virgil? The MIA Oceansiders? Beta’s Fee Fi Fo Fum Ghost?

Nice. A Michonne mention. Maybe the truth will start to trickle out.

LMAO at Connie’s “I’m not staying here.” Me neither, girl. I would be outta that house so fast.

They really “Quiet Placing” this episode. Honestly? I’m kinda loving it.

WTF was that? I know she can’t hear but you telling me all the little hairs on her arms, legs, and neck didn’t stand the fuck up and say fuck this shit, I’m gone? Pardon my language, lovelies, but that moment had my heart kicking up several beats.

Okay, okay. To be fair to Connie, every hair on her body been doing that since the front door closed. Maybe they’re desensitized.

Gollum’s chasing Connie!!! He/She wants their Precious!!!

The knee jerk reactions about this episode sight unseen are OTT, honestly. And I mean no disrespect by saying that. I can understand completely where they’re coming from because we’ve been burned so long in this fandom. But it’s obvious the spoiler source has their particular biases and reads into things in such a way that don’t line up with what’s actually being shown onscreen. Daryl’s loyalty in this episode and all along quite clearly lies with his family and his community. He’s been playing Leah since the start and is truly just trying to survive somehow.

Awful thought. The Reaper that’s so suspish of Daryl--haven’t quite caught his name or really cared to. I feel like he might try to get to Daryl somehow. When he realizes that Daryl cares no more for Leah than any human would care for somebody (they thought) they used to know? He’s going after Dog. Or Carol should she finally join this story.

I refuse to believe Carol isn’t going to be a part of this story. Because they messing with her mans, lol.

“You’re ever with us or you’re not.” Now where have I heard those words before? I wish I could find that Daryl gif because that had to be one of the funniest things ever, lol.

Unrealistic suggestion to Daryl, Leah? Breathing oxygen seems to piss off Carver. Oh look. He finally has a name for me, lol.

I love how all three of the ladies--Carol, Magna, and Rosita--look at Kelly with such indulgent, adoring “little sis, you alright?” eyes.

They are seriously the most beautiful quartet of characters. I mean all of them are lovely but Carol and Rosita this season? Ugh. The unfairness of the pretty.

Human bones. Terminus callback, lovelies. How it all would have eventually gone down if Gareth and Co. hadn’t met the business end of Rick’s red machete.

So many horror movie homages in this one.

Virgil’s like “let’s leave this Texas Chainsaw Massacre behind.”

Connie and Virgil have obviously bonded, ya’ll. I’m surprised by how much I’m enjoying their scenes together when the character mostly got on my nerves with Michonne. He’s a good actor and the core of his character is sympathetic, but I’m not going to lie. I wasn’t super enthused when he was the one that rescued Connie because I didn’t know how their scenes would play out. But there’s a nice synergy there.

Okay. Does Carver want Leah for himself? Because I’m sure Daryl at this point would love to scream “take her, I know where I fucking belong!”

Daryl’s digging in deep because Carver has shown him Leah’s potential weak spot. Nuance is truly lost on some people, LMAO. He cares about Leah as a human being probably. He’s Daryl, after all. The sweet one. But he sees her as his way outta this and he’s going to exploit it.

It’s nice to have a silent Negan for once, lol. I can pretend he didn’t take my baby Glenn away from me and enjoy JDM’s pretty.

So. These cannibal people were the watchers? Hmm.

I’m really digging Virgil 2.0. Yeah. Nobody’s surprised more than me.

Sweet, sweet scene between Virgil and Connie. His determination to reunite her with her family brings back the sympathy I felt for him when he told Michonne “I promised her flowers. Every day.”

Damn. How many of those creepy crawly cannibals are there?

How brave of Connie to confront her fears to save someone she’s obviously grown to care about.

The Kelly/Connie reunion gave me chills and made me cry. Thank fuck Angela didn’t cheapen that moment by having it focus on literally anybody else. Kelly is the most important person in the whole world to Connie and vice versa. Just like Carol is the most important person in the whole world to Daryl and vice versa. Angela fucking knows. Everybody does. Except the people busy building castles out of sand while the waves of Carol’s and Daryl’s converging stories keep crashing closer and closer to shore.

Such a beautiful moment given to us by Angel Theory and Lauren Ridloff. So authentic and sweet. Kelly and Connie are home to each other.

Poor Frost. That’s all I gotta say about that.

WTF, though. Was Mel just not available or what? I want to see more of the ASZ characters that I care about, not the Reapers. Like I’d be fine with the story if all the characters not named Maggie, Negan, or Daryl weren’t surviving on crumbs during it. Especially the 2nd billed actress on the entire show. Angela. Please. Fix this.

One last WTF. Seriously. WTF has Maggie done to inspire Pope’s obsession? It better be juicy after all this shit.

Overall impression of the episode--

One of my favorites of the season so far. The horror aspects were fantastic, IMHO. I truly didn’t expect to like Connie and Virgil’s scenes as much together so that was a nice surprise. She got the reunion that felt most true and earned for the character and her story and I thank Angela from the bottom of my heart for that.

I would have loved more Carol but I always want more Carol. I’m okay with her taking a backseat because ultimately? This was Kelly’s moment with her sister. Carol and Connie will eventually have their time to sit down and talk. And pick back up their blossoming friendship because I truly do not feel Connie blames Carol at all.

I do wish Lydia had been included with the girl group. Last episode felt like it was leading up to that.

The Reaper storyline continues to be the weakest link because every time we see them the dialogue and interactions feel totally recycled from the time previous. I feel like it would have totally been helped by a tighter focus and less stretching out because 8 episodes of this is really diluting what I feel like Angela and Co. are going for. I’m not here for Leah being redeemed or being a bigger focus in any of the episodes because she does nothing of interest for me. I’m just peeking in on that story for the Daryl of it all.

Speaking of the Daryl? You lovelies out there gotta stop taking that spoiler source’s recaps at face value because it’s obvious to me at least that there’ some bias at work. Every action and word coming from Daryl is coming from a place of loyalty to his family and wanting to protect them, no matter how he has to dirty his hands. Leah is just a means to his ultimate end. She’s not his future. She never was. His future’s already spoken for and 2023 can’t get here soon enough. But like Daryl, we have to just survive somehow.

Oh goodie. More Maggie and Negan next episode and looks like no real follow up on Connie and the ASZ reunions. Hopefully, this is yet another instance of the previews being deceiving but I’m not holding my breath.

Until later, lovelies.

Hope my word vomit didn’t bore you too much.

#The Walking Dead #Season 11 #TWD spoilers #things that make me smile and cry #for reasons #ignore all the typos #with something this longwinded?#LOL #there's bound to be plenty

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shuahoonie · 4 years

Text

you. [tom holland] - six.

PAIRING: tom holland x female!celebrity!reader

SUMMARY: ah, to be young and in love. it sounds great if only you and tom were actually dating out of pure love and not for the sheer reputation of your careers. it also should be great if you two actually got along, but life isn’t that easy.

WARNINGS: mostly swearing! mentions of alcohol! a bit of fluff, a bit of angst. it’s haters to lovers / fake dating au so take that information as you wish!

WORD COUNT: 2735

SONG INSPO: can’t take my eyes off you - emilie mover

A/N: hiya babes, again, sorry if this chapter is posted very late. i have absolutely no excuses this time, it’s just me really. times are tough and if i’m being honest, i’ve had a rough couple of weeks. my academics really hit me in the worst possible way and i’m really am sorry if i wasn’t able to uphold my promises to post over the break. 🥺 also, beware of my plot timeline! i had a rough plan that i wanted this to take place during pre-ffh days! anyway, enjoy chapter six and happy reading! x

UPDATES EVERY SATURDAY 11 PM CST WHENEVER I CAN [I’M TRYING TO POST EVERY SATURDAY, I REALLY AM]

gif credits: @parkerpunology

Two months. You and Tom were already dating for two months. The last two months were a whirlwind for both of you, more so for you. Once the news broke out that you and Tom were dating, it was expected that people would lose their minds over it.

However, like how news typically withholds its relevance these days, it died down a week after. You both actually didn’t mind it since it put you two at ease. You and Tom see each other for thrice a week, dropping a few nuggets that you two are together.

Some days, Tom would drop by at your filming location.

“Y/N,” Steven, a stunt coordinator, sang your name with a teasing look painted on his face. “Guess who’s here.” He was helping you with your scene, making sure that you were safe as you did your stunts.

“Please tell me it’s Charlotte with my phone,” You moaned as you fixed your shirt as Steven began unbuckling your harness. You were standing on top of a high platform and had just finished doing your stunt for the show, the Alchemist.

“Honey, do you think I’d be this excited if it was your assistant with your phone?” Steven rolled his eyes. “It’s your loverboy,” He teased, pointing to a figure.

Based on the state of altitude you were in, you could practically see everybody. You can see some of the crew were busy with fixing the set for the following scene. You could see the producer busy speaking to whoever’s on the other side of the phone. You could also see your ‘loverboy’ talking to the director.

Tom was standing next to Alissa, the director, as they talked animatedly. He was wearing a grey shirt that hugged his body like a second skin and a pair of black joggers. He looked very casual, but as much as you hated to admit it, he still looked good.

Catching your gaze, Tom gave you a smile and a wave.

You were still getting used to the idea that you were seeing him, so you turned your head as fast as you could. It’s as if your crush caught you staring at him in middle school.

Steven let out a small giggle, “You guys are so cute. You two are like grade-schoolers.”

“Oh, shush.” You said as you felt your face burn, embarrassed that Steven caught what just happened.

“Shush yourself, hon,” Steven laughed “It seems like Tom found it absolutely adorable.”

You turned your head back to look at Tom and there with his arms crossed, he was laughing softly. He had his complete attention on you.

You signalled him to give you a minute as you descend from the platform to greet your ‘boyfriend’.

Seeing that you both were actors, you had to use your skill sometimes.

“Tommy,” You’ve grown to love that nickname for Tom, knowing that he absolutely despised it. “What are you doing here?” You asked, your tone sickeningly sweet, as you greeted him with a hug.

For a moment, his eyes flickered upon hearing the nickname you just called him. “Came here to surprise you, princess.” He said with a smirk as he squeezed you in a hug. He knew you hated that nickname too. It was obvious that you two were playing the same game.

“Oh, but you didn’t have to, Tommy,” You said with a huge smile, the words practically gritting in between your teeth.

“I know,” He replied. What he did next caught you off-guard being that you two never really displayed that amount of PDA out in the open. “However, I do miss my girlfriend and I wanted to surprise her.” He said before he held the side of your face and placed a soft kiss on your cheek.

Boy, you were surprised alright.

Some days, you would drop by at Tom’s filming locations.

Tom had just finished his scene with Jake Gyllenhaal. You decided to visit your ‘boyfriend’ at his set for Far From Home. As soon as the director yelled cut, Tom caught your eye and gave you a wave.

“Are you getting bored, babe?” You turned to the figure who just asked you the question and saw Zendaya wearing her MJ clothes. You’ve grown a huge liking towards Tom’s castmates ever since Tom introduced you to them, especially Zendaya since she’s been nothing but nice to you.

You gave Zendaya a small smile and shook your head no. You’ve sat and watched them shoot for a little over two hours now, and it was only reasonable that he’d ask how you were doing.

“You know, you two are absolutely adorable.” She commented as she gave you a playful nudge, sitting next to you.

“We’re absolutely not,” You chuckled, feeling shy.

“It’s true,” Zendaya laughed “Tom seems like he’s at his happiest whenever he’s with you.”

As if on cue, Tom started jogging his way towards you and Zendaya with a huge smile on his face.

“Hi, princess,” Tom engulfed you with a huge hug. “Are you still good? What are you two laughing at?” He asked in the middle of the hug.

The intimacy you two had to show in public was still something you had to work on-not so much for Tom though. You weren’t used to displaying affection even when you used to date your ex.

“Oh, we’re just laughing at you.” You said nonchalantly, a teasing smile hanging off your lips.

“Me? Why me?”

“Because you’ve got it bad for Y/N,” Zendaya answered cheekily, “You’re happier around your girlfriend, Tom.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Tom acknowledged making you roll your eyes playfully. “I am at my best whenever I’m around Y/N.” He said as cupped the sides of your face and planted a small kiss on the top of your nose.

You begged to differ. Tom had to act like he’s at his happiest whenever he’s around you.

“Liv, I look ridiculous. I don’t even have the boobs for this.” You said as you finished putting on the bridesmaid dress and examined your chest, as the dress sported a deep v-neck. You and Veronica were standing in front of a mirror, wearing a floor-length burgundy chiffon dress.

“Shut up, Y/N,” Veronica said as she fixed the delicately pinned flowers on your hair. “You look great, I think Tom might actually fall in love with you.” Ronnie teased.

“Fuck off, Ronnie.” You mumbled. “I can’t believe you actually let me invite him, Liv.” You told Olivia, who was busy getting into her wedding dress.

“Uh, of course. He’s your boyfriend, ‘ya doof.” Olivia, who was putting on her dress behind the dressing panel, said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Also can you two help me with my dress? I need someone to zip me up.” Liv went out wearing a gorgeous wedding dress. It was an off-shoulder sweetheart cut white dress with touches of lace and glimmer.

“Oh, you look gorgeous, Liv.” Veronica sighed as she stared at Olivia with tears brimming her eyes. “I still can’t believe you’re getting married this soon, girl.”

“I know,” Olivia agreed, fixing her hair, “but I just love him you know? He makes me a better person. I’ve never felt love like this before.” She said while trying to fight off the tears that were forming on her eyes.

You and Veronica rushed in to give Olivia a huge hug, tears were close to shedding and all of you didn’t want to sit in the makeup chair again.

You were so sure that Olivia was rushing to get married, that maybe she wasn’t thinking things through. However, as you saw your best friend be at the happiest she’s ever been, you figured that getting married was probably the most adamant decision Olivia has ever made.

At 24, Olivia found herself in the arms of the person she’s bound to spend her whole life with.

“I gotta walk down that aisle before I ruin my makeup completely,” Olivia said half-jokingly, fanning herself.

And so she did. Olivia managed to walk down the aisle without completely crying her makeup off, Josh, however, lost it. He was fully sobbing as soon as he saw Olivia walk.

You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the two of them, you saw two people so full of love that the only way to express it was to cry.

As the ceremony proceeded on, your thoughts were somewhere else. You’ve always wondered if ever you’ll find someone who’ll make you feel the same way as them, that tears would start falling because you were so in love.

However, that would have to wait as you were currently tied with the person you were sure you weren’t going to be in love with. Your gaze automatically went to Tom, who was coincidentally staring at you. You turned your attention back to the couple who were getting married in front of you, your cheeks burning.

Your mind was about to come up with different possible reasons as to why Tom was staring at you, but you had to stop yourself. You don’t need that in your life.

“You okay, Y/N?” Ronnie asked as she took a sip of her champagne. You nodded your head and finished your third glass of champagne. “Are you sure? Because I’ve known you long enough to know that you start to drink heavily when something’s bugging you.”

The reception was over and the newly-wed couple has had their first dance as husband and wife. People were now just letting themselves loose on the dancefloor.

“I’m fine, Ronnie,” You assured her as you called the waiter to give you another glass. “Don’t mind me, you know how weddings make me feel.”

“Yes, which is why I’m terrified.” Veronica murmured.

“Don’t be silly, Ronnie. I can handle myself really.” You said as you scanned the crowd. You saw Tom talking to a couple of girls, seeming like he was desperate to get out of the conversation as soon as possible.

Soon enough, he caught you staring and it seemed like he was relieved to see you. Not long after, he was practically running to you.

“Looks like prince charming is coming to get you,” Veronica chuckled as she grabbed her purse and drink from the table. “I’ll see you later, babe. Text me if you’re leaving.”

“Where are you going and why are you leaving me?” You practically whined. Veronica wasn’t surprised, you were whiny after three drinks.

“I have to go and meet Josh’s parents, they wanted to see me after mentioning that I was looking for a place that I could do my internship,” Ronnie explained “Besides, it looks like you’re going to be taken care of. If you aren’t, call me ASAP.”

You huffed and dismissed your friend. As soon as Veronica left, Tom arrived at your table.

“Oh, thank god I saw you Y/N. It was brutal out there, some people just can’t get a hint-”

“Why are you here?” You asked as soon as Tom sat down next to you. Tom was caught off-guard by your hostility.

“I-uh, what?” Tom wasn’t really sure what’s happening, sure enough, what he did wrong to have you act this way. This wouldn’t be much of a surprise if he knew that he pressed your buttons way too many times, however, that wasn’t the case.

“Aren’t you busy talking to those girls over there?” You asked, now grateful for the newly filled glass of champagne that was just handed to you. The waiter was about to give Tom too but he kindly refused.

“Actually, I was desperate to leave the conversation. It was getting annoying and they kept insisting that I’m just dating you for clout.” Tom explained as he massaged his temples.

“They weren’t lying.” You mumbled before taking a sip from your glass. “You looked like you were having fun though-which I didn’t mind, by the way.”

“Y/N-”

“Tom, you know you can just leave all of this, right? Like no one is forcing you to stay this long because you won’t get the short end of the stick. It’s me who's going to get most of the damage.”

“That’s not true, Y/N. I’m just as affected as you will be.” Tom stressed. “Where is this all coming from?” He asked, getting frustrated.

Much like Tom, you were getting frustrated too. Why are you being hostile around him? It’s not like he’s actually dating you, you have no reason to act this way.

“Alcohol makes me see things more clearly,” You muttered. It was all that you could say. After all, nothing was making sense for you.

“That’s what got us in trouble in the first place,” He claimed as he grabbed your glass and placed it far away from you. Tom stood up and offered his hand to you. “Come, let’s dance. It’ll clear your head.”

“I don’t want to,” You moaned as you threw your head back. “I planned on drinking so if you’re not going to join me, then just leave.”

Tom shook his head no. “I got a note from Ronnie that I need to stop you after three drinks and apparently, you’re on your fourth so ‘nough is enough, princess.”

“Even if I’m not going to drink, I’m still not dancing with you.” You said as you crossed your arms.

“Wanna bet?” You just sat there and listened. You were interested as there was no way in hell he can make you dance.

“That wasn’t fair, you practically set me up.” You grumbled as Tom happily led you to the dance floor. The jig was if you stood up, you’re automatically going to dance with Tom.

Being the ‘sneaky little shit’ (Veronica’s choice of words) that Tom was, he secretly texted Ronnie and asked her if she could potentially lure you into assisting her to the washrooms.

You were skeptical at first, but you eventually obliged. It was Ronnie’s choice of words that made you do it. “Y/N, I swear to god, I’m about to pee. If you don’t help me unzip my dress, I will physically hurt you.”

Tom was now short of 50 bucks because of that favour.

“Oh, c’mon, princess. You know that isn’t true.” Tom tried to keep a straight face but obviously failed as he was now grinning at your annoyed face.

“This is ridiculous, you know that I’m a horrible dancer right?” You said as Tom put your arms around his neck and he placed his hands on your waist.

“I think I’ll manage, princess.” He chuckled.

“No, I’m not kidding. You will leave with a huge bruise on your foot-feet. I might step on both of your feet, there’s a huge possibility.”

Tom stared at you for a moment before saying, “I guess it’s a price I’m willing to pay.”

They were playing a slower version of “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” and you groaned softly. “What’s wrong, princess?”

“You’ll never let that pet name go, won’t you?” You asked, rolling your eyes.

“No, I don’t think I will.” He answered cheekily.

You two slow danced to the melody of the song and you couldn’t help it but say, “God, I love this song. Why did they have to play it?”

“I guess it was meant to be- Oh god, it’s them again,” Tom said as he saw the girls who were trying to steal his attention all night.

You took a look at the girls and sure enough, they were watching the two of you and were whispering amongst themselves. You didn’t know who they were so you were assuming they were on Josh’s guests.

You weren’t one to start fights however, you were extremely petty though. It’s a habit you’re trying to get rid of. “Hey, Tom?”

He hummed in response. “Do you want to finally get them off your back?” You asked him. He stared at you for a moment before nodding.

“I’m going to do something but promise me you’ll forget it as soon as it’s done.” You disclosed, not even knowing why you’re actually going to do it.

“Okay...” You knew he was getting curious. “What-”

You grabbed the side of his face and kissed the corner of his lips. To say that both of you were surprised was an understatement.

TAGLIST:

@thomasthetankson @autty0314 @marvelous-tswiftfan @averyfosterthoughts @theolwebshooter @jackiehollanderr @sltwins @herondalescecilys @notjustpenandpaper @ihopethatwemeetinanotherlife @gothicwidowsworld @heartofholland @stxfxniexreads @peruvian-bae @hollands-osterfield @thenoddingbunny-blog @galacticstxrdust @sweartomendes @itsjstz

Can’t tag:

@sectusempried

#tom holland imagine #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fluff #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland blurb #tom holland reader insert #tom holland and reader #tom holland angst #tom holland imagines #tom holland x y/n #tom holland au #tom holland and you #tom holland and y/n #tom holland x you #the girl writes i guess #txmhoellandwrites

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #343

“i slither like a viper and get you by the neck / i know a thousand ways to help you forget about her”

What's your favorite kind of bear? I don't really know. I just like bears. Have you ever sent a FWD because you were afraid? Ha, yup, as a little kid. Would you ever date more than one person at a time? Nooooo sir. Have you ever rebounded... or been someone's rebound? No. What’s the biggest argument you’ve ever had with a family member? Did things ever go back to how they were beforehand? My grandmother cursed me the fuuuuck out one night as a kid because I was in a mood and didn't tell my mother goodnight. I still remember being called an ungrateful bitch with her like an inch from my face, and admittedly, I was being rude because I wanted to go home, but it kinda scarred me for life. For the remainder of her life, I was always sort of on edge around her and was convinced she didn't like me. Have you ever experienced some kind of natural disaster? I've been through lots of hurricanes. None that massively affected my life, though. If you have pets, do you feed them human food or do they just get regular pet food? If they do get human food, what’s their favorite thing to have? Venus is a snake, so she obviously doesn't get food meant for humans. Roman is very well-trained to not beg or make a move for people's food; he tried once as a kitten, and giving him a pop taught him right away. Have you ever been in a physical fight? Who won? No. What’s the mode of transport that you take or use the most? The car. Mom's, specifically. Have you ever had a zoo keeper experience or anything where you’ve been able to go behind the scenes and look after/feed the animals? No, but I wish. :( Would you ever want the responsibility of being a politician or a similar position of power? NOOOOOOO. What’s something your parents do that really annoys you? Mom is *always* right, pretty much indisputably. And she WILL have the last word. Dad, meanwhile, can be pretty rude to people. I don't think he realizes it half the time, but still. It's not an excuse. What is your main source of anxiety? Social interactions. What’s your favorite 90s cartoon? Pokemon. Describe the moment you realized you were falling in love with someone. I'd rather not. What’s your favorite sparkling water brand/flavor? I've never tried sparkling water. What’s your favorite makeup brand/brands? I don't have a favorite, considering I don't wear it nearly enough and have never even bought my own. I just use whatever Mom buys. What are some female names you would name a baby? Alessandra is my favorite for sure. I also love Anneliese, Justine, Evelyn, Chloe, Evangeline, Quinn... There's a lot. What about male? Severin is my favorite, and I also like Damien, Vincent, Victor, and Luther. Do you have any subscription boxes? No. What fictional creature would you like as a pet? I want a dragon, goddammit. Idc if it can breathe fire ok I want a dragon. Ewoks are also the one and only thing I enjoy from Star Wars. What kind of dwelling do you live in? Just a one-story house. Is there anyone you work with that you don't get along with? Why? N/A Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? PLEASE adopt, especially with cats and dogs, given the number of strays. Purebreds tend to have so many underlying issues, and besides, it's just a LOT of money for an animal that probably wouldn't outlive a mutt. Don't feed the machine if you can. What's your favorite chain restaurant? The Cheesecake Factory or Olive Garden. Why were you last pulled over? I’ve never been pulled over before. What was the last thing you've done on the water? Just kinda swam around a bit in the ocean. It was so warm, totally like a bath. I do NOT miss that sun poisoning, though. Are you cool with swimming in a lake? I think I'd do it if someone invited me to, and the lake didn't look filthy, of course. Do you have a drone? No. What's your favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurant? We have this tiny, local Mexican place that's really good. I don't know the name of it, and I wouldn't share it for obvious reasons. What do you order from there? Chips and salsa of course, along with a shrimp and cheese quesadilla, and finally their cheesy rice. What's your favorite ice-cream flavor? Depending on my mood, it bounces between vanilla with chocolate syrup or just plain chocolate. Do you have any t-shirts from any local businesses? No. Do you listen to any talk shows or podcasts? I used to listen to Mark, Bob, and Wade's podcast, but I'm like... ten months behind, haha. What's something someone calls you that you find endearing? I like "love" a lot. What's your favorite children's book? I loved books like The Rainbow Fish, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Stellaluna, 10 Minutes 'til Midnight, What Makes a Rainbow?, Chrysanthemum, etc. Is there a new season for a series you're excited to come out? Meerkat Manor comes back this summer, and I am fucking HYPED. How old are you? I'm 25. What is something unique you enjoy about the one you like/love? I tease her about it all the time, but it's really cute that she keeps all of her snakes' good sheds in her room. Proud reptile mom. Are you more liberal or conservative? I'm close to the middle, but I lean towards being more liberal, and I seem to go more that way with time. Do you watch American Horror Story? I used to. I saw the entire first season and really liked it, and then I almost finished the second, but I lost interest. The story got a bit stupid imo. I'd be willing to watch other seasons, though. Does your hometown have any urban legends/scary stories? None that I’m aware of. The people there are scary enough. What's the scariest nightmare you remember having? Let's not talk about it. Are you medicated? Uh very. Are there any apps you're addicted to? Nah. Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? It was initially a bunny holding a polka-dotted blanket, then it become a moose I got from Cabela's when in Ohio. Do you still collect stuffed animals? Only meerkat ones. Have you ever stolen/borrowed clothes from an ex? Haha I've worn Jason's pj pants before and they just kinda... became mine, lol. What's the last movie you watched at home? The Shining, I believe. What's the last movie you watched in theaters? The CGI remake of The Lion King. I still don't get why it was received so badly. Have you ever had eggs cooked over a campfire? I don't think so, no. If you do drink, what's your favorite alcoholic beverage? Margaritas, generally. However, Sara's dad made me this absofuckinglutely incredible chocolate drink before that tasted like a milkshake. It had like, no alcohol flavor, which worked out well for me considering I very much dislike that taste. Are there any songs you've been listening to repetitively lately? There's a new one every day lately, haha. Today it's Halocene's cover of "Love Bites (So Do I)." Cereal, granola, or oatmeal? Cereal. What TV shows did you grow up watching? You gotta gimme an age group... but I'd say the typical stuff for kids of that time. What does your phone case look like? It's just a boring purple that came with it. What were your favorite toys to play with as a child? I looooved playing with my "family" of a father crocodile, a mother deer, their two "children" (a fawn and smaller croc), and "friends" that were little Pokemon figurines. Then there was an evil t-rex with two stupid sidekicks, haha. I can't remember what dinosaurs they were. What's the most embarrassing thing you can ever remember doing? Hold on, lemme find my book. Do you remember what you dreamt about last night? I only very faintly recall dreaming about my cat Roman. Have you ever done anything embarrassing in a dream? Thank FUCK they're just dreams. Do you vape? Nah. What was a song you loved as a child? So uh. Apparently. I loved "Dookie" by Green Day. It's an undying story from Mom about how it came on once at a putt-putt place and I apparently started yelling "dookie!" and dancing. Do you enjoy the Arctic Monkeys? Yeah, I love some of their songs. Are you going to see Finding Dory? You bet your sweet ass I saw it. I've cried everytime I've watched it. Have you ever been horseback-riding? I have not, but I would love to. When was your last piercing? Whenever I got my tragus done, which I can't remember. What did your first crush look like? I don't remember my puppydog love first crush, but I can talk about my first REAL crush, Sebastian. He's a skinny dude with short, brown hair and a lip piercing... I can't remember which kind. He dressed in an emo style, and Facebook pictures at least suggest he still kind of does, I think. Is your body more curvy or flat? Well, I'm not at all skinny, so... What's your least favorite holiday? Probably Christopher Colombus Day, honestly. You didn't discover shit. Don't pretend to me it's worth celebrating in a clean conscience. if you’re having a boring day what do you usually do? If I'm rock-bottom bored, quite honestly, I normally nap, even though I know I shouldn't. Do you turn to food when you're upset? Ugh, I'm admittedly an emotional eater. I got way better about it, and then I started up again. Is your bf/gf good with your parents? I don't have an s/o. Do you think soda should be served at school? Vending machines are fine I suppose, as I don't believe they should be free seeing as they're nothing but sugar content, and I feel schools shouldn't just hand that out to kids at lunch or something. Do dogs have feelings? They sure do. Are you afraid of snakes? Oh no! I adore them. I respect snakes and am going to give wild ones their space for sure considering I don't recognize every native venomous one, but nevertheless, I'm not afraid of them. They are so vital to the ecosystem and are incredibly fascinating animals that deserve our protection. On that note, PLEASE do not kill any snake you come across in your shed or whatever. Call someone to relocate the terrified thing. Favorite snack? It depends on what I'm in the mood for, really. Ever seen The Notebook? Read the book, seen the movie plenty of times. Do you think cussing is trashy? No. Who is the most famous person you’ve met, if any? Nobody. Do you own any animals that aren’t domestic? No. Have you ever feared that you would lose a body part? No. Do you like gore? Yeah, generally. Do you like to drink water? Ugh, I really don't. I wish I did. Have you ever had a wax? I used to get my eyebrows waxed. Do you have any sets of matching bras and underwear? No. Are you any good at improv? Not at ALL.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''love bites (so do i)'' by halestorm

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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Blue Neighborhood Series: COOL (Rock-centric) - Mac

AN: Thanks as always to Meggie! Who is an angel on earth for betaing. I love her to death. And thanks to everyone leaving such amazing comments! It means so much!

Summary: In the aftermath of their night of revenge, Rock struggles to find where she fits in.

Monday morning brought the news: vandalism, several thousand dollars worth of property damage, a ruined reputation, and speculation.

The most obvious suspect, Heidi, had an alibi. The photos Widow had taken were time-stamped and location tagged. There was no trail for anyone to follow.

They had gotten away with it.

That should have made Rock feel better.

It didn’t.

And besides a few more names and faces in the hall, the night didn’t do much for Rock socially. She had thought, maybe foolishly, that some good old fashioned illegal activity might finally be the push she needed to make some friends. As it was, she was still eating her lunch alone in the old prop room above the theatre.

But she had her anime and her videogames and her ability to tune out the world around her.

She propped her phone up and clicked on the next episode of My Hero Academia. It was her third time watching it through, and she knew the episodes by heart now. But the familiarity offered her comfort in an otherwise hectic day.

Rock was so absorbed in the show that she almost missed the crash on the stage below her. Almost.

She clambered up on unsteady feet, heart pumping in her ears as she walked out of the stuffy prop room and onto the platform directly above the stage. She looked down and was shocked to see two familiar faces strolling through the prop trees that made up the set, giggling like children.

“Don’t break that!” Jan scolded, though her words lacked bite.

“I didn’t see it!” Jaida said, crossing her arms defensively.

“You’re so tall you can’t see anything below your knees, huh?” Jan teased. “Well, I guess we can’t all be future D-1 athletes.”

Jaida started to grab at Jan, who narrowly avoided her grasp. The two girls fell into another round of giggles. This time they both ducked their heads away, unable to keep eye contact.

Rock observed them warily, hair prickling on the back of her neck at how familiar this scene seemed. She should go, should leave the two alone, and allow them to get up to whatever they came here for, but something kept her rooted in her spot. Morbid curiosity.

When they settled down and color was high on both of their cheeks, Jan motioned to the audience widely. “Are you gonna shut up and let me do my thing or what?”

Jaida held her hands up in mock surrender, shit-eating grin still etched into her features, as she made her way into the first row of seats, spreading out her long limbs goofily, flopping around in an effort to make Jan smile.

Jan held back, but the joy still shone in her eyes.

She tried to steady herself, inhaling deeply, before beginning to sing.

Rock didn’t recognize the song, but she found that it didn’t really matter, the tone of Jan’s voice conveyed everything she needed to know. The notes drifted up into the rafters, settling high above the singer and melding to the ceiling. The emotion hung in the air. Sadness, self-reflection, loss. It plucked at Rock’s heartstrings more than she cared to admit.

She wasn’t the only one.

Jaida sat in the audience, previous sloppy posture made up now, back ramrod straight, eyes wide.

As the song came to an end, Jan gave a silly bow. Jadia smiled so bright Rock could make it out from where she was standing. The loud clapping echoed in the empty auditorium and Jan giggled as Jaida approached the stage, eyes still wide in amazement.

“I can’t believe you didn’t get the lead.” Jaida shook her head.

Jan sat down on the edge of the stage, her legs hanging off the side. “It just wasn’t meant to be, I guess.” She shrugged.

“Well, you’re amazing.” Jaida grinned. “But I agree,” she paused, “you sound much better on stage than in your backyard.”

Jan laughed, throwing her head back in abject joy, long strawberry blonde hair tumbling down her back and shaking along with her shoulders. Rock hadn’t seen her this happy in what felt like forever. She seemed lighter somehow. Freer.

When the two locked eyes again, something different passed between them, Rock had only a second to process before Jan leaned in to close the distance between her and Jaida.

The kiss lasted only a second before Jan pulled back. She was clearly shocked by her own actions, Rock could tell, because a split second later she was standing up on wobbly legs and running toward the exit of the auditorium.

Jadia was left to stare at the empty space she left.

Rock planned to leave. To exit quiet and daintily and pretend like she saw nothing. God clearly had other plans because as she began to tiptoe back the way she had come, her hand missed the railing, causing her to stumble and cry out before catching herself.

“Fuck!” Jaida yelled in shock, jumping about six feet in the air.

She shielded her eyes as she looked up into the bright stage lights. “Jesus, Rock,” Jaida exhaled. “The fuck are you doing up there?”

Rock blushed head to toe. “Oh, ya know, eating lunch.”

Jaida put her hands on her hips. “So… You saw that, huh?” She motioned to the space where Jan had stood.

Rock nodded hesitantly, unsure of what the correct answer was. Jaida pursed her lips and ran a hand through her dark hair.

“Can we, uh, keep this between us?”

Rock didn’t need prompting. She nodded once, firmly. Jaida offered her a weak smile in return before heading the way in which Jan had run off.

Rock’s head was spinning. She didn’t keep up much with school gossip, finding it confusing at best and defamatory at worst, but you didn’t need to be nosy to know about the infamous red truck photo. The school had gone wild a few weeks back, speculation circling in every social circle. The conclusion had been that Eastview’s ‘it’ girl, Jan, had been getting it on with the varsity basketball captain. Everyone had accepted it as fact, and, not feeling the need to question it, Rock had believed it too.

But based on the scared, and quite frankly, disgusted reaction Jan just had… Rock suddenly felt the need to sit down as realization dawned on her: Jan wasn’t the one in the picture.

And that opened a whole other can of worms.

Rock sighed. She really needed to find a new place to eat lunch.

…

Rock coughed out a cloud of smoke.

She heard murmurs from her companions, some judgmental, others bored. She did her best to ignore them as she raised the contraption to her lips again, and someone leaned over with a lighter.

The weed burned her. Throat and nose alight with a smell that felt like it was filling the space between her brain and her skull. She didn’t cough this time, which she counted as a victory, and she passed the bong to her right.

Widow encouraged her. “That was good! Usually newbies cough for like an hour.”

Rock just nodded, if she opened her mouth to speak she knew she would cough. She held it in, content for now to hold her breath and wait the feeling out. She took the time to admire her new position, even if it was just for the day.

After not so subtly mentioning her social predicament in the group chat, Widow had been among the first to offer her an alternative.

Rock found that she actually used the group chat that was formed after their night of shenanigans a lot more than she thought; every now and then she shared funny videos she found or had a sidebar conversation with Jackie about their statistics class. Some of the other girls used it frequently too, with Crystal and Heidi being the most vocal. The cheerleaders mostly kept to themselves, but would react to conversations with an emoji or two. Even Widow chimed in every now and then with a biting comment or a response to someone’s question.

Rock felt lucky her self-deprecating joke was answered at all, let alone by three separate people.

For now though, she just thanked the stars that she got to spend more time with Widow. After their night of illegal activity, Rock had been itching to learn more about the mysterious older girl. She couldn’t explain it, but she felt drawn to her presence.

Rock tried to relax as Widow’s friends settled into easy conversation.

The outside air was welcome on her heated skin; the fall breeze dancing up and down her legs, feet against the brick of the shed. They were still on school property, which caused a bit of underlying panic in Rock’s gut, but her companions seemed unbothered and had clearly been doing this often enough to not be nervous.

They were far from the school, Rock reasoned, the long-abandoned athletic shed being located just a stone’s throw away from the already distant baseball field. There was virtually no way they would get caught. Still.

The bong made the rounds again and Rock hit it twice more, only coughing a bit on the second exhale.

She didn’t start to feel the effects until a bit later. At first, she couldn’t even tell, her mind already thrumming with nerves, but as her heartbeat slowed in her chest and her thoughts began to calm she felt an unfamiliar wave of weight fall off her. Before long her head felt hazy and light and she was smiling widely, giggling at the blades of grass jumping, dipping, and turning in the wind.

Widow smiled encouragingly at her and said something that Rock didn’t hear. The older girl waited patiently until Rock made eye contact before repeating herself.

“We gotta get back,” she said. “Class starts soon.”

Rock nodded, but it made her head dizzy so she stopped. Widow extended a hand, and Rock took it gratefully, doing her best to appear unfazed by the sudden movement upward. She must have failed because Widow’s eyes suddenly looked concerned.

“You okay, Roxy?” she asked genuinely.

Rock nodded. “Yeah, I just…” She trailed off.

She just what? What? Wat? Water. She needed water.

She let Widow lead her to the school, all the while doing her best to fight the heaviness of her eyes. They made it inside with a few minutes to spare, minutes Rock gratefully took to guzzle water from the fountain.

Widow rubbed her back in slow circles, reminding her to breathe and to take it slow. As the bell chimed above them, Rock felt her stomach flip unpleasantly. The echo of the noise bounced around in her head, and she suddenly didn’t feel so good.

She lied through her teeth when Widow asked her again if she was okay. Rock didn’t want to be a bother. She had already been enough of a burden by smoking Widow and her friend’s good weed and now she was keeping Widow from class. Rock shook her head and did her best to assure her that she would be fine. Widow only left after getting Rock to pinky promise she would text her if anything went wrong.

Rock practically sunk into her seat in her next class. Her head felt light but her eyes felt heavy and the weird combination of sensations was doing a number on her thoughts. As their teacher began to pass out test grades Widow’s words echoed in her head, “don’t freak yourself out or your trip can get real bad.”

Easier said than done.

It felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on her head, as Rock saw yet another bright red D on her test.

Fuck.

Her parents were gonna kill her.

Not because they really cared a lot about her grades, but because it meant they’d have to come into the school and have another useless talk with her teachers about her performance.

Rock’s parents were… busy. From the time she could comprehend the word, that’s what her parents had been. Busy with work, busy with social engagements, busy with things that a silly little girl would never understand. Busy. And that had been fine. It meant that Rock didn’t have a bedtime, could order from her favorite pizza place every night, could not do her homework for weeks at a time. But Rock quickly learned that she’d really rather have parents than the freedom to fall into a sugar coma every night.

Her parents were busy. They didn’t have time to cook dinner or clean the house or, well, parent. Rock had taken on that responsibility, helping her little sisters to bed, making sure they got their homework done on time, packing their lunches for them. She did her best, learned to cook, how to drive, and how to head a house, but she still fell short a lot of the time.

Especially when it came to her own needs.

And because she never really had a strong family structure, Rock had become self-sufficient to the point of isolation. Maybe that’s why it was so hard for her to make friends, not that she had much time to dedicate to outside relationships anyway. Still. It would be nice to not have to go it alone all the time.

All of a sudden the room started spinning, as opposed to the calm relaxing way it had been moments ago. This time it was a violent thrashing instead of a gentle rocking, and Rock felt herself gripping her desk in an attempt to slow it down. The people around her started staring, she could hear their whispers without straining her ear.

But what really got to Rock was when the person behind her tapped her lightly on the shoulder. She nearly jumped out of her seat, banging her knee forcefully on the desk instead.

“Woah, sorry!” The guy apologized, but his words felt like they were delayed with his mouth and she could practically feel them hitting her skin, and Rock needed to get out of here now.

She stood up to the best of her abilities and sprinted out into the empty hallway. The whipping motion of her head as she desperately searched for the nearest bathroom only made her dizzier. The nearest women’s restroom was blissfully empty, and Rock wasted no time before dousing her face in water, her makeup be damned. She scrubbed and scrubbed at her skin, the only action that made her feel like her body was her own.

When Rock felt steady enough, she made the brave decision to sit on the grimy bathroom floor near the window unit until she felt better. She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head against them for an immeasurable amount of time. Girls entered and exited the bathroom, but Rock paid them no mind.

After a while, when the world stopped spinning, and she felt more like herself, she stood up. She glanced down at her phone to see three notifications from Widow.

W: you still feeling ok?

W: you should have lunch with us again

W: everybody really liked having you

Rock declined politely.

…

Lunch with Brita, Gigi, and Jan didn’t go much better.

Gigi had thrown out the offer after Crystal and Widow. It was half-baked at best, Rock knew. She still went, willing to give the whole experience a chance. The night of the revenge plot the cheerleaders hadn’t seemed so bad. Maybe a little stuck up, but ultimately harmless.

Rock quickly found that her assessment had been correct. They were harmless. Harmless and boring.

Jan spent the whole period practically mute, picking at her lunch with a fork. Rock couldn’t help but wonder if Jaida had mentioned her presence that day in the theatre. By the way Jan was refusing to make eye contact with her, not even deigning to smile, Rock was pretty sure it had come up.

Brita was too involved in texting whoever and ignoring the puppy dog eyes from her boyfriend to notice Rock’s appearance. Gigi was sulking, but attempting to make light conversation with Rock.

“So… uh, you going to Homecoming?” Gigi asked.

Rock shook her head. “Nah, gotta babysit my little sisters.”

“Oh.”

It was mostly true. She always had to look after her little sisters. But mainly she wasn’t going because she had no one to go with. And as much as Rock was perfectly fine on her own, she had no desire to be reminded of it for an entire night.

“Well, Jackie and I are going together,” Gigi said. “As friends,” she quickly corrected.

Gigi glanced over at a still quiet Jan, something strange passing behind her eyes and sneaking into her tone. “And we aren’t sure yet if Jan is taking anybody, but she’s riding with us.”

Jan glanced up at her name and offered Gigi a weak smile.

“So if you change your mind and need a ride, we got you.” Gigi smiled. “I mean, we all live next to each other.” Gigi gave a weak laugh at a joke she didn’t make.

This had been a mistake.

Rock didn’t consider herself to be incredibly exciting, but the sheer lack of personality coming from the table made her feel sucked dry of any creativity and will to live. Rock mentally patted herself on the back. She had given it a go with the popular kids, young Rock would be proud to see her sitting with a bunch of cheerleaders. Finally socially important.

She could tell Gigi meant well, and no offense to her, but Rock would literally rather get hit by whatever insufferable party bus the girls had no doubt rented than go to Homecoming with their group.

But Rock just smiled and nodded politely. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

…

When she attempted to eat with Crystal, Heidi, Aiden, Jackie, and Nicky things went a little better.

Crystal welcomed her with a warm smile and even walked with her arm in arm to the art room where they ate. She sat on the tabletop and the two went through and traded food like they were in grade school again. Crystal gawked at how good Rock’s fried monkfish and coriander sauce tasted, and Rock hid a blush at the compliment to her cooking.

As Aiden and Heidi filtered in they each gave Rock a smile and a polite wave, before delving into another one of their nonsensical arguments. Rock tried to follow their logic but got lost halfway through and just settled for looking at Crystal with raised eyebrows.

“They always do that.” Crystal rolled her eyes at the two.

Jackie entered a few minutes later and joined in on the argument. Crystal and Rock just sat back and enjoyed the added layer of entertainment.

“Jacks always uses big words that neither of them knows and then they fight about that too,” Crystal whispered, eyes alight with mischief.

Rock giggled at the statement as she saw it play out before her very eyes.

All of a sudden Crystal’s posture changed, her previous relaxed shoulders suddenly upright and attentive. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why.

Rock wasn’t immune to the charms of women, having chosen not to label her sexuality just yet, but knowing a good looking woman when she saw one.

And Nicky was good looking. Her beauty only rivaled by her impeccable fashion sense. It was kind of unfair, really.

Crystal coughed awkwardly as Nicky made her way over to the two.

“Hello, Roxanne,” Nicky greeted as she sat next to her.

The extra beat of silence as Nicky didn’t greet Crystal rang out pointedly.

“How have you been?” Nicky directed her question to Rock, who stumbled out some form of an answer.

“Fine. Good. Fine. I’ve been… good.”

Nicky smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Good.”

After another ten or so minutes of pointed silence, Rock excused herself, the art room suddenly feeling less freeing and more restrictive with the added tension. She let herself out the big metal doors that lead directly from the art room to the outside, let herself breathe in and out once before completely breaking down.

Four years of buildup released itself in gasping breaths and a stream of tears.

She was a senior in high school—a damn senior—and she had no friends, no life, and no plans for the future. She had missed out on football games and sleepovers and trips to the mall and parties and all the things that high school movies drill into you from the time you can talk that make the whole four years worth living.

Rock had missed it all. She had been too exhausted or too bored or too… busy.

Fuck.

She was just like her parents.

And wasn’t that just a kick to her already wounded pride.

Rock heard footsteps approaching the door so she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and plastered on a fake smile for who she assumed to be Crystal.

She was shocked to find Nicky looking at her concerned, a carton of cigarettes half out of her back pocket.

“Hey.”

The two stared at each other for a moment.

“Sorry, did you want to be alone?” Nicky asked genuinely.

“No, no,” Rock shook her head. “It’s totally fine.”

Nicky looked awkwardly at her feet and then awkwardly at the cigarette box in her hand. “You want one?” She offered.

Rock looked at the package doubtfully and shook her head. “Thanks though.”

Nicky nodded and pulled out a bright red lighter, flicking it open and holding the cigarette to her parted lips. Rock watched her, fascinated by the way she effortlessly held the smoke in her lungs, then exhaled just as gracefully.

“So… You are a fan of Death Note?” Nicky asked, blowing out a small cloud of smoke.

Rock looked up at her words.

“You have a Ryuk sticker on your laptop,” Nicky explained. “He is Ryuk here, yes?”

Rock nodded, shock still evident on her features. “Oh, y-yeah,” she stammered out. “It’s one of my favorites.”

Nicky smiled, easy and effortless. “Me too.”

“You…”

Nicky rolled her eyes. “Yes, I like anime. Why is that so hard for people to understand?”

Rock ran a hand nervously at her neck. “Well, you look like that.” She motioned to Nicky’s frankly editorial outfit of a black turtleneck tucked into copper pants, nude platforms, and minimal gold jewelry accentuating her model-like posture.

Nicky quirked an eyebrow up as she exhaled another cloud of smoke. “And you look like that. I do not see a difference.”

“Yeah, okay.” Rock scoffed and rolled her eyes. “You watched anything good recently?”

Nicky didn’t hide the way her eyes lit up, and Rock felt her stomach twist in anticipation.

“Okay, I know it’s taboo,” Nicky worried her lip between her teeth, nervous energy suddenly rolling off her in waves, “but RWBY is really good,” Nicky rushed out.

“You did NOT just say that to me!” Rock exclaimed, doing her best to hide a smile at Nicky’s defensive expression. “The animation—”

Nicky cut her off, free hand expressively gesturing. “—it’s shit, I know, but it gets better!”

Rock shook her head disapprovingly, barely biting back a laugh at this point.

“And there are lesbians!” Nicky added animatedly. “Well, they aren’t confirmed yet,” she conceded, “but they will be!”

Rock continued to shake her head. “How dare you say you like anime!”

Nicky looked at her hard, but the underlying tone of abject joy still rang out clearly. “Listen, bitch, I watched all of Attack on Titan and read the manga. I paid my dues, let me enjoy this.”

Rock couldn’t help the raucous laughter that escaped her. Nicky joined her moments later, the two smiling all the while.

“Okay, okay, fine.” Rock held her hands up in surrender.

Nicky smiled widely.

It was a good look on her.

Rock winced as she put out the cigarette with her expensive-looking heel.

When the two made eye contact again, something different swam in Nicky’s cool blue orbs. “Crystal will kill me if she knows I’ve been smoking.”

Rock nodded, a sudden understanding of the situation dawning. “Your secret is safe with me,” she promised.

Nicky offered her a weak smile, before allowing her face to reform into the pristine, confident force of nature she always was. She nodded her head to the art room door and Rock smiled in response.

And Rock allowed the brief thought to cross her mind.

Maybe she hadn’t entirely missed out.

#rpdr fanfiction #rock m sakura #jaida essence hall #jan sport #widow von du #gigi goode #crystal methyd #nicky doll #jaida x jan #friendship fic #blue neighborhood series #cool #mac #s12 #tw marijuana

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castiel-kline · 3 years

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KitKat’s Random Rewatch (part 2)

The Man Who Would Be King (6x20)

For, um. Obvious reasons.

Ahhhhh this monologue is so fucking good

“But come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high.” Cas should do a stand up routine ngl. This line is some kind of comedic genius

He looked RIGHT at the camera. I remember the first time I saw that I was like hello, this ep is going to destroy me. Spoiler alert: it did. And does.

Cas called Sam being in the cage “a great cost” and immediately went to get him. 🥺 And did he seriously imply his overconfidence gave him the strength to fight his way into the cage? Damn. Confusing, but go off I guess

“Sometimes we’re lucky enough to be given a warning. This should have been mine.” AHHHHH

Cas, come on. You’re smart enough to pick up on when Dean’s being sketchy

Dean said Satan Jr and I forgot this was season 6 for a sec and was about to get mad because that’s not a nice thing to call Jack, Dean. Um, yeah. Turns out they’re talking about Crowley lmao

I have MISSED Crowley’s shouting. He’s so dramatic.

Cas is so done with Crowley’s shit ahaha

The colors of his preferred Heaven are so beautiful

Cas being happy to see other angels will never not make me sad. He’s literally smiling so big considering it’s his s6 self ahhhh. AND THEY’RE HAPPY TO SEE HIM AND HAPPY HE’S ALIVE MY EMOTIONS HURT AHHH

“Freedom is a length of rope, and God wants you to hang yourself with it.” One of my favorite Cas quotes right there

“You never look like you’re joking.” I love Cas’s sense of humor so much. Also, Raphael, kindly stop being an asshole. We do not need to restart the Apocalypse, thanks.

When did Cas stop doing the invisibility thing? Bc that could have come in handy later. Can Jack do that?

Bobby said he doesn’t want to be right about Cas being sketchy. Aww. I wonder if Bobby would have considered Cas one of his boys like Mary did if Bobby had... you know. Lived to see Cas soften out a little bit.

‘I’d die for him, I would.” Aww, Sam.

“That makes you Lois Lane.” Did... did Dean just say Sastiel rights?

I’d be more touched about Dean defending Cas but like... after this he doesn’t ever really give him the benefit of the doubt again, so. I’m a little upsetti spaghetti.

What was up with this demon Bobby guy. He’s funny but like. This is the only time we ever saw him lol

Cassss smite them demons bby. Get em.

All of their smiles at him are so cute. And Cas is just standing there like oop

“I’m still just Castiel.” YES YOU ARE HONEY. AND WE LOVE IT.

Cas is such a bad liar but like he’s also so good at it. Buddy, you’re so complicated. Wouldn’t have it any other way <3

Protective Cas! We love to see it.

OH SHIT he slammed Crowley into the wall so hard it broke the tile. King shit, Cas.

“I’m an angel, you ass.” Another iconic line. This ep has so many.

So it IS official canon that angels don’t have souls. Well, that sure sheds a lot of painful new light on the soulless Jack situation later.

I know Dean says later that Cas could have asked him for help while he was with Lisa, but tbh I’m pretty sure if Cas had actually asked Dean would have said no. I’m in a psychology course right now, and that makes me marginally qualified to say that Dean was definitely experiencing some major hindsight bias.

What happened to Hell being an endless line? When did you stop that, Crowley? Because that would have saved Bobby and Kevin and Eileen so much unnecessary pain.

“Big bald patriarch” is now the only acceptable way to describe Samuel Campbell. That was hilarious. Thanks, Crowley.

I should also mention it’s weird to see Crowley without the beard. Does anyone else get that upon rewatch?

Did Cas actually take 50000 souls from Crowley just to throw Raphael out of his chair and make a statement? Honey, no. But also, king <3

The trap they set for him... Sam looks so sad about it. Ahh.

Okay but one of Bobby’s reasons not to trust Cas being that Bobby didn’t buy that Cas could be effectively tricked by Crowley is pretty cool. At least someone appreciates how smart Cas really is.

The Sam and Cas angst in this scene is immaculate. When Sam asks, “did you bring me back soulless on purpose?” Cas looks HORRIFIED. I don’t think we see him look that level of horrified again until... the end of 15x15 maybe? With that whole whammy Jack unloaded. Which is... wow. Much to unpack.

“I was there. Where were you?” I think we all know Dean is a little bit of a hypocrite. Because this entire season he most definitely didn’t care about Cas’s problems, and I’m pretty sure he did ask for help one time and they said no. So, you were there, but you weren’t a helping hand. You gotta practice what you preach, Dean-o

I know it was a complicated situation but leaving him in the holy fire is still pretty shitty. Come on, guys

“Get out of my sight.” I’m grinning during an intense scene because GO OFF CAS YOU TELL HIM

“The difference between you and me is I know what I am.” Crowley, kindly stop exacerbating Castiel’s self worth crisis. Please and thanks.

Does Bobby have a guest room? Where’s Sam? Why is Dean sleeping on the couch? Did he just want to? I’m sure Bobby has more comfortable places to sleep. Or maybe Bobby’s couch is just really comfy, idk

God, Dean, don’t be so rude. Don’t call Cas a child. I do not approve of this interaction.

Again, Dean. Practice what you preach.

“You’re like a brother to me.” In light of, uh, recent events, I’ll just leave this here.

Also in light of recent events, this is the second time in this episode Cas said the boys taught him free will. They taught him choice, not feelings. And it was CAS who chose to feel.

“I’m an angel. You’re just a man.” You tell him, Cas

Lmao Cas dipped out before the convo was over. Iconic.

The ending on the bench.... Cas. Sweetie. HE SAID FATHER AHHH. And he looks so SAD. Also, the way it was shot was really cool. I can’t believe I didn’t notice that before.

The way it ended with him just hanging his head. Oh, my heart.

Anyway, this episode is a 10/10 for Cas, obviously, but we’re bumping it down to 8/10 because there was such an imbalance in Dean and Cas vs. Sam and Cas interactions. Didn’t remember the show was doing that crap this early. Also, the plot of season 6 low key still doesn’t make sense to me. Oops 🤷‍♀️

HOWEVER, it did me feel slightly better during my current crisis because Cas slays in this one. So, we’re gonna count it as a win.

If you read this thing all this way through, thanks for being here lol. I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. :)

#kitkat rambles #kitkat's random spn rewatch #spn 6x20

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twdmusicboxmystery · 4 years

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TWD 10x14: Look at the Flowers - Character Journeys

All right, so after watching this episode like three times, I started to notice patterns in the different character arcs. Each of them is on a similar journey in this episode, and while they’re all different, they all parallel one another.

The characters are Carol, Beta, Ezekiel, Daryl, Negan, and then Eugene/Yumiko/Ezekiel. The reason I put those last three together is that their “journey” is physical. It’s them journeying to meet Stephanie. For the other characters, the journey is internal.

So I’ll try to go through this quickly. I just want you to notice the pattern here. This is the journey of these characters to make a decision that will affect things moving forward. And it’s important to understand what that journey is so we know where their arcs are going and how they will react to things. By the end of the episode, they’ve made their decisions and are ready for action.

***As always, spoilers abound below for 10x14. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

Phase 1: each journey starts out with a negative, destructive mindset.

Carol – listening to Alpha (herself) who is telling her how terrible she is, how it’s her fault each of the kids died, etc. Very negative mindset.

Ezekiel – he’s down on himself for not saving the kids and is being more negative than positive about his future. Probably because he believes he doesn’t have one.

Beta – we see him find that Alpha is dead, kill one of the Whisperers, and then destroy his room in the western saloon.

Daryl – For Daryl, it’s about him not believing Negan. He’s mad at Carol, but he also doesn’t trust Negan or believe they’re on the same side, now. It’s understandable, but he’s just not having much “faith in people.”

Negan – His is more subtle but he’s trying to convince Daryl he’s a friend and is obviously terrified that Daryl is going to kill him at any moment. Which he’s probably right about.

Phase 2: The negativity culminates in some sort of disaster or major event that forces them to make a decision about their future.

Carol – the boat falls on her, and she’s faced with whether she’ll fight to live or just let the walker bite her.

Ezekiel – his horse dies, and he wants to turn back because he’s afraid his lack of stamina might put Yumiko and Eugene in danger.

Beta – I’m convinced he contemplates suicide by walker a few times. The big event is when all the walkers come toward him and he has to decide what he wants to do next.

Daryl – Taken captive by the Whisperers, when they bow to Negan.

Negan – Same thing. Not a disaster for him, but he’s given the opportunity to go back to his old, Negan-ish ways, and he has to decide whether to do that or continue to ally himself with Daryl and the Alexandrians.

Phase 3 – They make a decisions to either slide back into old, negative patterns, or move forward with faith and hope.

Carol – kills the walker, decides to live and return to Alexandria, rather than running away.

Ezekiel – convinced by Yumiko to continue on toward the city. And that’s super important because him going there will probably ultimately save his life. So, deciding to move forward with faith and hope will allow him to live.

Beta – he’s the only one that doesn’t exactly move forward with positivity. You could argue that he doesn’t go the route of death by walker, so he chooses to live. But he also wears Alpha’s face and leads the horde to make war on Alexandria, so…

Daryl – For him, I believe it’s deciding to believe Negan. At first, he didn’t believe him. Then he had to trust Negan to kill the Whisperers and be on his side. And he makes a point of saying he still doesn’t like Negan, but I don’t think Daryl will go out of his way to kill Negan moving forward either. And his acceptance will go a long way toward others in the community accepting Negan as well. Probably far more than Carol’s acceptance of him would.

Negan – He chooses not to return to his negative, dictator-like ways, which earns Daryl’s trust and gets him back to Alexandria, which is what he wants.

So none of these are super TD or Beth-ish in nature, though we certainly see plenty of signs and symbols of her along the way. But I think the point is that all of them moving forward with positivity will affect their arcs moving forward.

And it also mirrors Eugene’s journey to find Stephanie. We certainly didn’t reach the end of that journey, but I noticed that right after Carol says, “It’s never too late,” the next shot we see is of them arriving at the city with triumphant music. So that’s purposeful.

Eugene says their on a journey to the hope and future of mankind. Makes us think we’ll see a cure arc here and this journey of Eugene’s is going to change everything. So, it mirrors what these individual characters are going through, because their choices here will change everything moving forward.

How do I think they’ll change things?

As I’ve already said, I think Ezekiel will live, rather than die of his cancer. For Carol, though I think Zeke’s death fake out will send her into a tailspin, I also think that, like Daryl, Maggie, and Michonne, she’ll have to choose to be positive and move forward before she’s “worthy” to get Ezekiel back and find happiness. She basically chose that here.

So while obviously thinking he’s dead will greatly affect her, I think her choice here will help her keep from sliding into hermetic, homicidal existence when it does happen.

Beta? Yeah, I don’t have much in the way of details to offer, but he’ll probably die eventually. But then, he didn’t exactly choose the most positive path. Many of us got Phantom of the Opera vibes with his “new” mask.

You know, the story of a monster with a mask who kidnaps a beautiful, young, singer? And the phantom has an amazing singing voice as well? Now, I don’t know if that’s what they’re going for. But I gotta say, Ryan did talk on TTD about how Alpha’s ghost will very much remain with Beta moving forward. The opera ghost is a big part of the Phantom tale.

And yes, I totally have a head canon about Beta kidnapping Beth and Beth choosing Daryl instead. But we’ll leave that in head canon land for now. ;D

For Negan, the obvious thing is that maybe he’ll get to live at Alexandria and be one of the good guys, now. But I really like this Negan thing in terms of Daryl. I still think Negan will figure in Beth’s return in some way, and maybe he needs to be part of Alexandria (not just as a prisoner) to make that happen. So I like to think that, much as with Dwight, Daryl’s mercy will aid in bringing Beth back to him. But I’m not exactly objective on that count. ;D

So yeah, just wanted you guys to see this so we can refer back to it as we get farther on in the story.

Another thing? I was originally going to discuss the lyrics of the songs we her in tomorrow’s Details post. But then I realized I need to put them here.

So here’s the thing. We saw three different scenes in which Beta is playing music. In the first scene, he’s playing Emily’s The Turtle and the Monkey song. In the second one, a different song is playing that I haven’t identified yet. And then in the third one, her song is playing again. I’ve typed out the lyrics below.

Even before I realized that the song in 2 out of 3 scenes was Emily’s, I looked at the lyrics and realized they represented the three phases. 1 – Negativity, 2 – Imprisonment 3 – Staying the course and, kind of, being in love? The first set of lyrics sounds really self-deprecating. The second set of lyrics starts out, “Cuz if I knew they’d lock me up…” Yeah. Imprisonment. And in the third we get sticking to the path (i.e. making the right choice), talk of love, and staring into one another’s eyes.

Check them out for yourself:

First Scene:

“I’m a miser when I’m rich

But a gambler if I’m broke

And if we’re gonna be laughin’

I would wanna be in on the joke.

Sometimes I think You show me the scabs

Just to temp me to tear ‘em away

Makin’ me draw blood

Will never make me want to stay.

Second Scene:

‘Cause if I knew they’d lock me up

Then I would surely run

Killed so many in your name, girl

That I’d never see the sun

Was invited down to hell

Drank from the glass, it felt just fine

I asked him, “Where’s that girl of mine?”

The Devil just smiled and left me behind

I smiled back and finished my bear

and said adios. I didn’t shed a tear

Joy descended with the flames all around

‘Cause the Devil, he sure likes to gamble

I tried to stand tall

And knock down that big old wall

I tried to stand strong

But suppose I guessed all wrong.

I tried to stand tall

And knock down that big old wall

I tried to stand strong

But supposed I guessed all wrong.

Third Scene:

Just sticking to the path

Your like a monkey in the trees

Jumpin from branch to branch

I love the way you move

You love the way I rock ‘n’ roll

But if our worlds collide it’s bound to take its toll

Oh, oh it’s sad but true

Love is never enough

And after just a few months, we’re not immune

Oh, we used to stay up late

Starin’ in each other’s eyes

So, I didn’t realize it was Emily’s song because I’ve only listened to her Turtle and the Monkey song a few times and am not that familiar with the tune. In my defense, I did google and figured if it was one of her songs it would come up. It totally didn’t. But I think I know why. The first few lines in Beta’s song are different than in Emily’s song. And those are the only ones I Googled (eye roll). So that’s why it didn’t pop up for me.

But I gotta say, it being her song, and especially the fact that she’s in the first and third scenes, is awesome! Think about what I said last week about the 15 season arc. Beth was in the first 5 season (S2-S5), but not in the middle 5 (6-10) but we’re thinking she’ll return for 11-whenever. The songs…kind of reflect that.

Thoughts?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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stranger-who-writes-fiction · 4 years

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Everything Awesome about COIE Hour 1

LET’S GEEK OUT!

RIGHT FROM THE JUMP: In the beginning, there was only one, a single black infinitude... Usin’ that circa 1980s HEAVY COMIC PROSE I dig it.

And then the lil’ clip show of all the heroes and THEY USED SUPERGIRL PILOT FOOTAGE! THE PLANE SAVE, SPECIFICALLY! Good stuff.

And then we go right into the cameos, wasting no time: The newscaster guy from Burton Batman! Earth-X! Robin and Ace from Batman 66! That one Earth where they can say @#%&!

“HOLY CRIMSON SKIES OF DEATH!”

(It’s almost as good as ‘Holey rusted metal, Batman!’ ‘Huh?’ ‘The ground, it’s all metal, and full of holes, you know? Holey!’ ...Almost.)

Wil Wheaton! Which is great but let’s be real here, we all know who the MVP of that scene was.

SPIKE THE DRAGON.

“What’s got you so spooked, buddy?”

Everything about the Clark and Lois scene was delightful, and I’m excited they’re getting a TV show.

Ooooooh and then they use the sad Supergirl theme music over the destruction of Argo and Jonathan’s pod escape and I am. Emotional. :C

Listen. No one is more shocked than I, that I’ve been actively liking Arrow season 8, but here we are, and I want to say: Dad Oliver? Is perhaps Best Oliver.

We all thought he was the Grumpy Uncle of the heroes...but he has evolved into his final form: Group Dad.

THE VIBRATIONAL FORK!!!!!

Oh, right, sorry, ‘Quantum Tower.’

For real, though: I really like how they’ve streamlined some of the more...unwieldy...comic stuff. Like, ‘the machines hold off the anti-matter wave’ is absolutely a thing from the original but you’d be surprised by how overly complicated they make that idea out to be.

I am...so glad that Alex has obvious reservations about Lena, and doesn’t even want to do it because hoo boy, I’m still not over the Season 5A nonsense.

...More on that in a moment.

More slow Supergirl theme music, and you know what comes with that theme music?

A good ol’ fashioned HOPE SPEECH.

BETWEEN THE SUPER COUSINS.

I love this, for so many reasons, but mostly that it states, right there, in the episode, why Kara keeps going, keeps fighting, keeps moving forward in spite of all she has lost. (I mean. We know the reason, it’s nothing new, but it’s always nice to have a reminder.) It also has some intense ‘Asgard is not a place, it’s a People’ undertones, re: Krypton, which I like.

WE STAN ONE PARAGON OF HOPE (sorry, Hour 2 spoilers)

AND THEN A HUG!!!!

Dad Oliver bonding with his smol, grumpy daughter and giving her her own set of vigilante duds is. Some good stuff. Yes it is.

And OoOOooOoOhhHHHH, the reveal that Oliver’s deal w/ the Monitor is tenuous at best, and therefore Kara and Barry aren’t necessarily safe...an interesting twist!

Hrrrrrmmmm. Lena stuff.

....I’ll get to it in a minute.

Right, okay, back to the tower.

It’s a little thing, but I love that, when the explosions start, Oliver just looks around like, ‘What?’ but Mia is ready to THROW DOWN with her sudden hero crouch.

I liked the field trip to visit Old Man Oliver! I get the feeling that it’s setup for Sara and season five of Legends, kinda.

And now, folks...the most important part of this crossover.

*deep breath*

SHAAAAAAAAAADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW DEEEEEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNSSSS!!!!!!!

WE GOT ‘EM. And they were flying around, attacking the machine, JUST LIKE IN THE COMIC!

And they used drones to get those shots apparently. It gave it a nice, zippy, action-y feeling.

*sheds a nerdy tear* It was beautiful.

I also like that Oliver and Kate were very Extra, flipping over debris when there was literally no reason to do so other than, ‘gotta look cool.’

Ray is, as always, a delight.

(I’m skipping some stuff because otherwise this will be really long)

HEAT VISION TEAM-UP

Love me some heat vision.

KELLY WITH THE SHIEEEELLLLDDDDDD

And then, we get to Oliver’s Big Damn Hero moment, which I wanna talk about because it manages to do two entirely different things simultaneously and I really dig it:

So, obviously, it’s Oliver dying in order to save a bunch of people from Earth-38, as well as Barry and Kara.

I reiterate: Big Damn Hero Moment.

But it also happens pretty much...entirely off-screen. And he comes back, all banged up...you know. The way a human would look if they went toe-to-toe with an army of Shadow Demons.

So it both honors his status as The OG Arrowverse Hero, but it also exudes the same single-panel-death energy as the original comic. Like. ‘HE WAS SO HEROIC GUYS but it happened entirely outside of our view’ and I think it’s very impressive, that they merged (ha, ha) those two concepts so well.

And then he has his requisite Death Speech, and t’was a good Death Speech.

And then Pariah shows up (!!!!!!!!!!) and Things Look Grim and then credits!

SO. GOOD.

LOVED IT ALLLLLLL.

(Well except for one thing and can YOU GUESS WHAT IT IS?)

Spoilers: It’s Lena.

I understand why she’s here, and I’m glad she deigned to put her drama aside to help save the world, but MY GOD, what a petty jerk.

Like. Please stop making everything about you as the skies go dark with cosmic lightning and an army of wraiths descends upon a giant space tower that’s holding the big galactic destruction wave at bay.

(I’m so glad they didn’t tie in the mind control--because that was kind of a thing in the comic, like. Psycho Pirate was getting everyone riled up, and I think they sent another hero with either emotion powers or telepathy to soothe the people and make them stop throwing themselves into the anti-matter ray...so I was WORRIED that they would ask Lena to re-purpose Myriad to get everyone off-world in an orderly fashion THANK GOODNESS SHE ONLY BUILT A TELEPORTER.)

...Aside from that though, GREAT STUFF.

#stranger speaks #crisis on infinite earths spoilers #COIE spoilers #DCTV #SG post #long post #there's a little thing from Hour 2 in here so be advised! spoilers!#COIE Hour 1

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simplyincanta · 4 years

Text

Stuck

This was for a final project for a theatre class.

When abuse of a teen isn't physical, there aren't any marks on their skin to give it away. Many are stuck pretending like it doesn't happen, forced to put on a happy face when they go to school. Teachers, while they may notice slight changes throughout the months, never speak up. Home is no place to hide, not when there's nowhere else to run. To be completely stuck, with no hope of escape haunts those teens. Question: How does abuse and depression affect a teen and their view of the world? Characters: 1 teen male, 1 grown male, 2 teen females, 1 grown female, Conflict: A teen boy, mentally abused by his father; a war veteran plagued with PTSD. His sisters were treated like goddesses in their own house, his mother ignorant to the situation. He must survive the last few weeks of his highschool life, but when the last period ends, he's sent back to the endless loop, will he ever escape? Setting: The teens house, main setting, the living room.

(Open, Stage Left, a teen boy average looking, seems happy enough, is sitting on the floor of the stage, with a game controller in his hands and a headset on)

Boy: Come on Drake! There's a guy to your left!!

(Off stage you can hear a bang, and another man yell)

Dad: NOAH GET YOUR ASS IN HERE

(The boy, Noah, quickly takes his headset off, you can hear from offstage another teen ask) Teen #1: Yo, Noah you okay?

Noah: Yeah, I’m fine, Dad’s calling for me I gotta go..

Teen #1: Okay man, see you tomorrow Noah: Yeah see you guys tomorrow

(Off stage a few more voices respond with various good-byes, lights go down)

(Lights back up center stage, an older man, is sitting at a table, reading a newspaper. Around the table are 2 girls, both seem excited and are happily chatting and a woman is setting up that table with cups and plates)

Dad: What the hell was all that racket?

Noah: I was just playing a game with my friends Dad, nothing that big..

Dad: You’re never going to get anywhere with that, you’re already worthless as it is.

(As his mother approaches, his father picks up his glass and drinks)

Mom: How was school today Noah?

(The mood shift is obvious to the audience, his stance is different and tone of voice changed from that of when he was talking to his friends)

Noah: It was fine, I guess..

Sister #1: Noah got asked out!

Noah: Ava shut up!

Sister #2: She’s in band, she plays the clarinet, her names Amelia-

Noah: Mia-

Ava: She’s cute too!

(Noah sinks into his chair, embarrassed)

Mom: That’s great!

Dad: I feel sorry for her, now eat and go to sleep Noah I don’t even want to see you anymore

(Lights go down, End scene)

(Light up, the setting is back in Noah's bedroom. He sits on the floor and brings his knees to his chest and you hear sniffing as he puts his head to his knees. Lights out)

(With lights out, you hear Noah's voice)

Noah: My dad wasn’t always like that..

(There's a slight pause as he thinks of what to say)

Noah: ..He was a recruit in Iraq.. He was 20, he joined the fight on November 27th 2003.. When he came back, I was still only a baby, 5 years or so.. My mom said he wasn't the same.. But she didn't think much of it, she knew it was PTSD. (Lights slowly start to come back on, Noah is standing there, wearing a blazer to simulate time has passed, he stands in the middle of the stage, facing the audience. He runs a hand through his hair and looks around the audience, in the front row are his sisters Mia and Ava, his Mother and another woman)

Noah: When I was 13, it was the first time he snapped at me.. He said “You know Noah.. I had such high expectations.. But you’re turning out to be the biggest failure..” Those remarks started sparsely.. By the time I was 17 it was all he would say to me.. When I was a junior in highschool, I barely left my room. I was depressed and suicidal.. After a certain point I started to believe him. When you're told everyday that you're worthless and cant amount to anything, one part wants to prove him wrong, the other caves and believes it. For the whole year all I did was go to school, come home and do homework and play games with my friends.. I moved out as soon as I graduated, I took my girlfriend, Amelia and we moved to Seattle. I applied to Seattle University and somehow got accepted. I went to therapy and was able to sort out my mind, I was put on meds for my depression and a service dog for my self harm and suicidal thoughts. I was only 19, I'm 21 now.. July 23rd 2018 we lost my father.. He commited suicide... His PTSD had finally broken him.. My little sister Ava was the one who found him.. She panicked and called the police, then me.. I went to his funeral with my now wife Amelia.. Apparently he had left a letter for each of us..

(Noah walks across the stage, where a small table is with a letter, he walks back to his original spot and starts to read)

Noah: “Noah, Since you've left I had time to think. I regret how i treated you, not what i said, but watching you graduate highschool, and hearing your mother talk about you getting accepted to a private college in Seattle, your wedding, you've really stepped up. I'm proud of you. I love you Noah.. and I’ll be watching over you..”

(Noah holds the letter and looks up)

Noah: Mental abuse is real. Not many kids step up and tell anyone.. If anyone even thinks they are being abused, mentally or emotionally, seek help. So many people are there to help, I wish I had stepped up sooner. I only got out of my situation because of my family,

(Noah reaches out and motions for the girls to come up, to which they do)

Noah: My mother isn't to blame.. She didn't even know it was happening.. My sisters were always the favorites but they looked out for me at school. And my wife helped me get out, to stand up to my father and leave. More kids suffer from abuse than what is documented. Schools need to be more aware of the signs, Depression, social withdrawal, the refusal to go to school, seeking affection. We need to shed light on these problems, that's why I speak up, to tell my story and try to help other kids. You're not alone. Seek help and help will be there.

(Lights go down, End Scene)

#mental health #abuse awareness #theatre project #theatre #mental health awareness #mental abuse awareness

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cuthian · 4 years

Text

Dancing in the Rain Chapter Two

Hi guys!

For this chapter, I'd like to warn you to please read the tags carefully. There is a potentially triggering scene involving gaslighting and violence at the end of the chapter -- if you think that's something that might trigger you or that you'd prefer not to read, please stop reading when Brock Rumlow's scene starts and skip to the end notes, where I'll summarise the scene for you.

Thank you again to my lovely beta and to my roommate, who have dragged me through writing this entire piece.

And thank you for still reading! I love you all.

See you in the comments, and then next week!

Love, Annaelle

Chapter Two

MUST-SEE: PEPPER POTTS SHARES ADORABLE AND HILARIOUS ULTRASOUND PICTURE OF HER BABY ON TWITTER!

Pepper Potts revealed she was expecting her first child with partners James Rhodes and Tony Stark a few months ago. Yesterday, the C.E.O. of Stark Industries shared an ultrasound picture on Twitter, where we can clearly see the baby takes after one of its fathers!

Potts, 43, announced her first pregnancy in December of last year through a truly adorable video starring her partners and Captain Steve Rogers, who is a close friend of Potts and her partners. Since the announcement, Potts has been sharing biweekly updates in the form of pictures, anecdotes and short videos featuring most of the Avengers.

[…] Besides Potts herself, the most frequent guest on Potts’ Twitter page is Rebecca Barnes, who announced that she and Thor Odinson are expecting their first child only a few weeks after Potts’ announcement. […] Potts has shared quite a few ultrasound pictures of the baby already, but her last update promises to be the most popular so far. The post boasts another ultrasound picture, this one showing that the baby might take after daddy Tony Stark! “[…]baby swallowed amniotic fluid, and then they opened their little mouth SO wide and stuck their little tongue out so far the gynaecologist nearly fell of her stool laughing,” Potts wrote. “It was wonderful to see, because it looked like our baby had the biggest, cheekiest smile on their face—just like Tony.”

Many of the other Avengers and various other celebrities saw the resemblance too.

“Takes after Tony, that one,” Steve Rogers, Captain America and close personal friend of Stark, Rhodes, and Potts, replied. “We’re gonna have our hands full.”

“Lord have mercy,” James Rhodes, daddy number two, replied. “The world’s not ready for a second Tony Stark.”

—Clarke Blake, Flair Magazine, “Pepper Potts Tweets Adorable Ultrasound Picture”, April 2016

——————

6th avenue, Park Slope, Brooklyn, New York City, New York, United States of America

23 April 2016

Peggy Carter

Peggy Carter had lived through quite a few life-altering events during her ninety-five years, but she dared say that sitting through a—albeit lovely—dinner with her goddaughter and her darling boyfriend, her niece and her prickly fiancé, her wonderfully dumb Steven, and Becky was a trial unlike any other she had faced so far.

Conversation was perfectly civil, of course, because Rebecca Barnes—senior, that is—did not tolerate acrimony of any sort at her dinner table, but there was a certain… tension between them that had not abated throughout the entire meal.

She had an inkling as to its origin, of course.

Sharon and her Brock had been together for quite some time, and while Peggy certainly had her reservations about the man, none of her background checks or even the private investigators had raised any red flags beyond a mild propensity for running his mouth when he had had a few drinks.

She never quite warmed up to the man though, finding herself a little put off by his brash attitude and his overall personality.

Sharon, however, had been quite besotted with the man since the day they’d met, and Peggy was not in the habit of trying to dictate her children’s—for that was what Sharon and Becca were, to her—love life. She had discretely done said background check on him, of course, because one could never be too careful, but nothing had come out of it, and so she held her tongue.

Whatever her own reservations towards him, Sharon loved him and he made her happy.

That was, in the end, all that Peggy wanted for her.

Her distaste of Brock, though, had been more apparent this night than she had intended for it to be.

Honestly, she blamed Thor a little bit, because Becca’s young man was so absurdly charming and lovely that Peggy couldn’t be fully blamed for showing something that might, in the right circumstances, be construed as… preference.

And honestly, whoever decided she was not allowed such preference?

People didn’t work that way.

Sometimes, one clicked with people, and sometimes, one didn’t.

It was just that…

Well, she always strived to be fair to her family, even when her personality didn’t quite match with everyone, and Brock—as became increasingly clear as time passed and his relationship with her niece became more serious—was part of that family.

So was Thor, but the scales skewed much more in his favor because he reminded her so very much of her Daniel that sometimes it ached to look at him.

He was courteous and kind, and he revelled in her stories of her days as director of S.H.I.E.L.D. He referred to each little scuffle as a mighty battle, won by glorious victory, and had sworn to her that her days as a warrior for Earth had certainly earned her spot at his father’s table in Valhalla on the very first day they’d met.

She may—or may not—have shed a tear or two.

It should have occurred to her then, when Becca invited her over for dinner with Sharon, Brock, Thor, and Becky, that Brock would sense the difference in their interactions.

He was, after all, a fully trained S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, and a good one too.

He’d noticed.

And the atmosphere during dinner had suffered for it.

It seemed to have eased off some now, while Thor bustled about in the kitchen to do the dishes, chattering happily with Becca, who sat perched on the counter beside him, cradling her swollen belly. Sharon leaned on the doorpost beside Becca, dangling an empty glass of wine from her fingertips as she occasionally threw a comment into the conversation.

They’d been whispering and giggling to each other the entire evening, and Peggy had to admit she was curious what those two were up to.

Steve had taken Brock to the living room, distracting the man from glowering at Peggy and Thor.

Honestly, Peggy huffed to herself, the entire thing was a tad tedious.

So she had a bit of a preference when it came to Sharon and Becca’s partners—sue her.

There was no need to be so petty about it.

“Well,” Becky said, raising an eyebrow at her, leaning back in her chair. “That could’ve gone better.”

Peggy snorted lightly and shook her head, setting down the glass of red wine she’d been sipping from all night on the table. “I suppose I could’ve comported myself better towards Brock,” Peggy admitted, glancing towards the living room, where she assumed Steve was entertaining the man in question.

Becky bit her lip and nodded lightly. “I mean… You hardly said two words to him and spent the rest of the night talking to Thor. It was rather obvious, Peg.”

Peggy pouted. “I suppose I should make an effort then, shouldn’t I?”

Becky wrinkled her nose at her and nodded. “I think you should.”

Peggy heaved a very put-upon sigh and hoisted herself out of her chair, smiling when Becky followed her example. They made their way into the living room, supporting each other as they walked, and settled comfortably on the love seat directly across from the fireplace.

Steve was kneeling in front of said fireplace, stacking several more blocks of chopped wood onto the dwindling flames. Peggy sighed wistfully, trailing her eyes appreciatively over Steve’s impressive biceps and exquisite form. It really was such a shame he had always been so hung up on Barnes—Peggy had had a great appreciation for him before the serum too, but…

There was something to be said for the way he had stepped out of the machine too.

She was sure they’d have had a lot of fun together if he hadn’t been so arse over teakettle in love with Bucky Barnes. Of course, she supposed if she and Steve had given each other a chance, she would never have married Daniel, and she would never have eventually fallen in love with her Angie too…

She would not have given them up for the world.

“Steve, darling,” she called out when he got back to his feet. “Come sit with us. What were you two talking about?”

Steve sat down on the sofa beside her and Becky’s love seat and smiled tightly. “We were discussing work, actually.” He shot a quick grin towards Rumlow when the man dragged a chair over so he could sit across from them, leaving the rest of the sofa open for the others.

“We were talking about the time he botched my mission,” Brock said, just the hint of a sneer detectable in his tone but voice otherwise just friendly enough to not be called out. “Put two of my guys in the hospital and had the Widow tase the shit out of another one. Still jumps at shadows, that one. Can’t use him for ops anymore, so thanks.”

He shook his head and took a chug of his beer. “Scared away our target too.”

Peggy raised an eyebrow. “Is this true?” she asked, turning to Steve.

She was aware Steve ran mostly Avengers-related missions nowadays, and that those missions were usually meticulously planned by Becca, Maria Hill, and Pepper Potts. She couldn’t quite imagine such a large mistake escaping their notice.

Steve’s cheeks colored, and he shrugged. “Yeah. We got the same anonymous tip about a terrorist group we’d been monitoring, and we responded without a lot of delay—we informed Fury, and he gave us the go-ahead, but apparently Maria had also sent out a STRIKE team.” He sighed and hung his head. “We collided mid-mission.”

Rumlow snorted. “I gotta hand it to ya, you had us down quick. Team’s good.”

Steve smiled, and Peggy eyed him carefully. It wasn’t a real smile, because Steve’s real smiles still made her heart flutter a little, but there was enough sincerity in it to fool the people that didn’t quite know him as well as she did—or, she supposed, as well as Becca did.

Her goddaughter walked into the room and plopped down on the couch beside Steve, poking him in the arm immediately and drawing his attention away from the conversation.

Sharon and Thor filed into the room as well, and Peggy watched her niece as she sidled up beside her fiancé, leaning her hip against his shoulder until he slipped his arm around her waist and leaned in to press a light kiss to her cloth-covered hip.

Thor, on the other hand, fit himself into the narrow available space between Becca and Steve, jostling them both playfully as he settled, allowing Becca to lean up against him comfortably, slipping one hand to the curve of her stomach, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth.

Peggy smiled despite herself.

He did remind her so very much of Daniel, even in this.

Daniel had been sweet and nervous and in awe of her pregnancy too, and he had tried to wait on her hand and foot, even when it had made her want to shoot him more than it had helped.

She’d seen enough interaction between Thor and Becca to know their dynamic was similar, but also wildly different. Where Peggy had grated beneath Daniel’s care and constant attention, too independent and too unwilling to let loose her grasp on control, Becca seemed to find Thor’s constant gaze reassuring, and his touch calming.

“So,” Brock said, eyeing Sharon and Becca contemplatively. “You two gonna tell us what it is you’ve been whispering about all night?”

Peggy looked between the two as well. She had to admit she was rather curious too, because Becky had already informed her that it was actually Becca who had asked if she would host a dinner for all of them so she could give them some important news.

“Yes,” Becca said slowly, glancing towards Sharon and then Thor. “Yes, I think…” She exhaled shakily and set one hand on her stomach. “Well, I think you’ve all noticed I’m pregnant.”

Peggy snorted a laugh, and Steve rolled his eyes.

“Thor’s dad…” Becca continued slowly, “he… Well, he’s not been the most supportive about it.”

Thor leaned forward then, a determined, yet grave expression on his face. “My father is a most traditional man, when it suits him to be one. He has ratified laws that state that if I wish to be able to claim our child as mine—my heir—it must be born on Asgard.”

Peggy blinked.

“Oh,” she said.

Becca smiled tightly. “Because travel through the Bifrost is extremely taxing for humans as it is, I need to travel there before I hit twenty-eight weeks. Just to be safe. It’s like flying in the third trimester.”

A heavy silence followed her words, and Peggy tried to wrap her head around what that meant.

“You’re—you’re twenty-six weeks along, though,” Peggy asserted. “You would have to go within…”

“Within two weeks, yes,” Becca nodded, leaning back into Thor’s embrace. “And I would be gone for… for a while, probably. If Eir and Thor are right, I wouldn’t be up for any sort of Bifrost travel for quite some time after the baby’s born either. So I…” She looked at Sharon, who smiled encouragingly, and Peggy found she had an inkling of where this was going.

“I need a replacement for my position as official S.H.I.E.L.D. liaison to the Avengers,” Becca continued. “Someone the Avengers as a whole trust, so I…” She finally returned Sharon’s smile. “I thought of Sharon. I know you’ve… you’ve had a hard time at S.H.I.E.L.D. since… everything,” Becca’s voice lowered, and rage pulsed deep within Peggy’s veins at the mere mention of the absurd charges they’d tried to lay against her niece. “I hoped you might like a change of scenery,” Becca continued. “Some new colleagues.”

She chuckled and elbowed Steve in the side as she added, “Mind you, they’re a mad bunch, and you should never listen to Steve, even though he’s team leader, because he’s full of shit, but—”

“I am not,” Steve said, affronted.

“Oh darling,” Peggy sighed. “You always were a dramatic shit. It stands to reason that didn’t change.”

Brock guffawed and the others snickered at Steve’s expense, and Peggy smiled broadly at him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve huffed indignantly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Come on, Becs, you were telling us something big, remember?”

Becca smiled beatifically at him, and Peggy shook her head to clear it—it was difficult, in moments like these, to remember that she wasn’t back in the war, and that Becca wasn’t Bucky Barnes, ribbing Steve about something or the other while the rest of the Howlies laughed at them.

Becky, God bless her, noticed her slip in attention, and patted her hand lightly on top of Peggy’s.

Peggy shot her a grateful smile before she focused her attention back on Becca.

“That’s mostly it,” Becca shrugged. “If Sharon agrees—”

“Oh, Sharon agrees,” the woman in question piped up from where she had settled on a second dining chair next to Brock, reaching out to take her fiancé’s hand. “It’ll be good to get away from S.H.I.E.L.D. for a bit,” she added sadly, and Peggy frowned.

It hurt, to think that the organisation she had built from the ground up was such a stifling place for her own niece now. It was so upsetting, in fact, that she nearly missed the scowl that marred Brock’s face before he schooled his face into a pretty convincing smile.

Nearly.

She eyed him shrewdly.

Did his jealousy of their acceptance of Thor run so deep that anything connected to him was automatically met with anger and resentment?

“—well,” Becca continued, grinning at Sharon, “then all that’s really left is me teaching you the ropes, and us coordinating moving to Asgard for the foreseeable future.” She looked back at Thor, who smiled tenderly at her before he leaned in to press a kiss to her temple.

“I’ll miss you, sweetheart,” Becky said quietly, and Peggy’s heart broke a little for her friend. Becky had raised Becca, thought of her as her daughter more than she did her actual daughter. It wasn’t easy for Peggy to know she’d miss the birth of Becca’s first—of their first great-grandchild—so it had to be agonising for Becky.

“About that,” Thor began. “If I may… I want to suggest that perhaps, you could accompany us. I’m sure it would mean a great deal to Rebecca to have you there,” he continued, and Peggy surmised from the stunned expression on Becca’s face that Thor’s suggestions was news to her too.

Becky blinked.

“Wouldn’t I be imposing?” she asked in a small, soft voice. “Your father hasn’t exactly been accepting of Becca—would he accept another human on Asgard?”

Thor shrugged. “That is really no concern of mine. He has made too many demands that we have been forced to concede to already. I will not stand for him removing Becca from her family when she needs them most.” His eyes softened, and Peggy was harshly reminded of Daniel, of the way he’d looked at her when she was being unreasonable, of the way he’d gone to bat for her when no one would even give her the time of day.

“Steve’s coming too,” Becca said, although she didn’t take her eyes off Thor. “For a bit.”

Peggy’s gaze swivelled to Steve, who nodded. “I haven’t put down the shield in almost a decade,” he said, and Peggy was fairly certain she wasn’t imagining the way his voice wavered a little. “What better time to take a break than now?” He shrugged and said, “Well, in a few weeks. I’ll have a few things to take care of before I can go too.”

“Just let me know when,” Becky said, startling Peggy a little. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

In a flash, Becca was up and flung her arms around her grandmother, and Peggy smiled lightly. She’d never gotten to have these kinds of moments with her own son—he’d passed away before he’d been able to marry, to have children, and Peggy had been left with no one until Tony was born, and then later Sharon and Becca.

She was glad that she would get to have these moments now, at least.

Becca’s children, Tony’s children, Sharon’s children—if she ever chose to have any—would be her great-grandchildren, and she would love them like they’d been Michael’s.

She leaned her shoulder into Steve’s when he sat beside her, taking her small, wrinkled hand in his.

“Almost feels perfect,” he said quietly, watching Becca and Becky with a very familiar gleam in his eye. “Doesn’t it?” He looked at her and squeezed her hand carefully—so very carefully.

Peggy knew everything he wasn’t saying.

They’d lost Timothy only a few months ago, and Gabe a year before that. Dernier, Morita, Falsworth and Barnes had been gone for so long they felt like distant memories to her, and the others were only a little fresher in her mind than that—although she supposed they were much fresher in Steve’s mind. They were the only ones left of their merry little band, and… she understood what he meant.

They still had family, and it felt almost like home—but nothing ever would without the others.

“Yes,” she agreed, leaning her cheek against his shoulder, taking comfort in his presence. “Almost.”

——————

THE EFFECT OF POPULAR CULTURE ON WARTIME PROPAGANDA: CAPTAIN AMERICA

The character of Captain America was created by Jack Kirby and Joe Simon at the instruction of Senator Brandt after Captain Steve Rogers—a soldier without a military rank at that time—received the super serum and successfully survived the procedure. The character that was based on Steve Rogers’ life and journey to become the first and only American super soldier first saw the light on March 10th, 1942 in what would become a monthly collection that ended in July 1949, for after the war people lost interest in these kinds of stories.

[…] Thus we can see the importance that offers this comic as a primary source, as well as being interesting to study the covert propaganda mechanisms. It also shows how people reacted to the horrors of war, especially those who felt that it was something that could happen to themselves, like the creators of Captain America. […] All the same, the collection of Captain America is most suitable for this type of study because we do not just see an imaginary superhero fighting Nazis and preventing them from seizing global control, but we see an American soldier and patriot fighting for his rights and his ideals.

This is something to keep in mind when analysing these comics because, after all, Steve Rogers is a soldier and a real man, rather than another superhero. There is no official report on how Captain Rogers felt about his life being used to create propaganda, although there are several interviews available with members of the Howling Commandos, who all imply with varying degrees of subtlety that the Captain was not a fan of being followed around by cameras during missions.

[…] Captain America has become a classical icon in the American culture over time, paraded about in comic books and films to promote what one can generally classify as “traditional Christian values”. An interesting, if not important, question one must ask themselves here is whether Captain Rogers supported those values himself. What little sources remain documenting the Captain’s life before he received the serum paint a picture that does not always fit with the image propaganda painted.

Rogers was, for example, the only child of a widowed, Irish immigrant mother, sickly and small in stature, and a card-carrying socialist whose arrest record was more impressive than several of today’s most well-known activists’. The only thing from his propaganda Captain Rogers ever openly agreed with was that he valued his new powers because he hadn’t always been this healthy—he used them to fight adversaries, Nazis and villainous HYDRA, to defend his homeland and principles because it was the right thing to do, not because he sought to fight anyone.

[…] also in one of the first issues of the Captain America comics after Captain Rogers’ rescue of the 107th Regiment from Azzano, we are introduced to his inseparable partner, Bucky, who is the mascot of the 107th regiment in the comic books. This character soon became almost as popular as Captain America, because children didn’t have to dream about superheroes anymore—they could be one even when they were as young as Bucky Barnes.

Of course, James Buchanan Barnes, the inspiration for the character, was no child, nor a simple mascot for the 107th Regiment. The decision to make a grown man, who was an accomplished soldier that made the rank of Sergeant before he finished boot camp and was handpicked for extended training as an expert marksman, was almost definitely a carefully considered one.

He was Captain Rogers’ childhood best friend and rumoured to be the reason Captain Rogers’ decided to save the imprisoned soldiers at Azzano. His influence on Captain Rogers, both as a comic book character and as his real-life right-hand man, is undeniable and must be considered in the context of this study. […] little is known how Sergeant Barnes felt about his comic book character, although several of the surviving members of the Howling Commandos have implied that neither Barnes nor Rogers were particularly pleased with their fictive counterparts.

[…] on the pages of this comic, the fears and concerns of the American society at the time, regarding their ideas about the war and the Germans, are reflected.

[…] nevertheless, it should be noted that Captain America was meant to be a figure that brings hope to the society, to bring it together to overcome the crisis. Not only this, with his ideals based on the reform of the New Deal, they could recover it to set a perfect example to try to carry out a new economic change. […] even after Sergeant’s Barnes’ and Captain Rogers’ untimely and tragic demises, the figures of Captain America and Bucky Barnes continued growing, expanding and reaching mythical proportions.

With Captain Rogers’ miraculous recovery and revival, and his subsequent breakdown of everything the public has been fed by propaganda during the last sixty years, the question has arisen of how much of written wartime history is correct, and how much of it is the result of propaganda made real by fictional characters.

[…] perhaps we live in a historic moment in time in which we need to appeal to the fictional characters to find heroes and role models that everyone should and could follow.

—Marina Chorro Giner, “Political Propaganda during WWII: Captain America”, unpublished article on academia.edu about the influence of popular culture as political propaganda during WWII, March 2013

———————

Tony Stark’s Personal Lab, Avengers Tower, Manhattan, New York, United States of America

12:23 A.M., 28 April 2016

Tony

Tony was a few hours into his favorite, semi-hazy mindset, tinkering with one of his newer prototypes—a modified version of the Mark IV suit, possibly designed with specs of every individual Avenger in mind, just in case—grease smeared across his cheek and all over his shirt when the elevator dinged pleasantly, and a heavily pregnant Pepper waddled into his workshop, one hand supporting her belly and the other pressed to her lower back.

Tony dropped his screwdriver and shot to his feet, rushing towards his girlfriend. “Hey Pep,” he said gently, because last week he’d greeted her too loudly and she’d cried for an hour and then yelled at Rhodey for not getting her French fries.

Tony was a genius. He occasionally learned from his mistakes—and the first thing he’d learned during Pepper’s pregnancy was to not aggravate or question the expectant mommy.

“What’re you doing down here?” he added, subtly walking her to the ultra-comfortable couch he’d put in his lab because Pepper—and occasionally Becca, when she got bored and needed to rib someone other than Cap—wandered down here to find him regularly.

“It’s late,” she told him reproachfully. “Rhodey’s not here to cuddle me, so you have to.” She tugged on his hand and frowned at him. “Come to bed with me.”

Usually, Pepper telling him to come to bed did the trick fine—Tony really did have a hard time saying no to her in general, and it was twice as bad now that she was pregnant and he owed her because “she was letting his spawn dance on her bladder for nine months”, and really, he couldn’t argue with that.

Of course, Pepper used that argument on him and Rhodey for everything—ranging from letting her have the last slice of bacon to driving to the grocery store in the middle of the night to get her the good kind of chocolate, because it “just wasn’t the same” if they got it delivered—but that didn’t make it any less effective.

Tony looked longingly over his shoulder at the suit he’d been working on.

Pepper sighed. “Alright. Compromise. Show me what you’re working on first, then bed.”

Tony beamed and led her back to the workbench, plopping down on his seat and gesturing to the suit—that would fit Cap’s dorito-esque proportions perfectly once it was finished—excitedly while he explained the features he’d built into it. Pepper smiled indulgently at him, rubbing her fingers through his loose, curly hair—he hadn’t put any product in it today, and he knew she liked it best that way.

“Steve’ll definitely appreciate it,” she told him when he fell silent.

Tony sighed and leaned forward, resting his forehead against the swell of her stomach, letting his eyes drift shut for a moment. He hadn’t slept in a while, because… because he needed to be sure that everything was ready, was safe by the time the baby—babies—would arrive, and he didn’t have a lot of time left.

Pep was due in five weeks—Becca in thirteen.

Sure, Becca wouldn’t be in the Tower for a while after the baby was born, and she was probably going to be safer on Asgard than anywhere else, but… just in case.

Just in case any of his nightmares turned out to be true.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a dull thump against his forehead. He looked up and blinked at Pepper, who was clearly fighting a smile.

“Was that—” he said, astonished, “Did my own kid just kick me in the head?”

Pepper snorted a laugh and Tony gaped at her. “My kid kicked me,” he repeated, slightly hysterically.

“Kid’s got good sense already,” someone said from behind him, and Tony whirled around on his wheelie chair to find the fucking Widow and her younger, redder shadow crowded in his doorway.

“Well, fuck you too,” Tony blurted, although he winced as Pepper smacked the back of his head for cursing in front of the—unborn—baby.

“We have to talk to you,” Wanda said slowly, accent lightly coloring her words. “We have…” she frowned and looked to Nat with a light frown, “…discovered something. Possibly.”

Pepper huffed a sigh. “You can have him for thirty minutes. No longer,” she said sternly, wagging her finger at the two other women. “It’s late and I need sleep, and I need my favorite teddy bear in my bed—preferably after he’s showered the grease off.”

Widow smirked. “Yes, ma’am.”

With that, Pepper waddled out of the lab, leaving Tony alone with their resident lethally reds. “Okay,” he said. “Well. Whaddya got?”

----------------------------

Poetic Edda – Hovamol – stanza 81 to 89

“Give praise to the day at evening, to a woman on her pyre, to a weapon which is tried, to a maid at wedlock, to ice when it is crossed, to ale that is drunk.

When the gale blows hew wood, in fair winds seek the water, sport with maidens at dusk, for day’s eyes are many; from the ship seek swiftness, from the shield protection, from the sword cuts and from the maiden kisses.

By the fire drink ale, over ice go on skates; buy a steed that is lean and a sword when tarnished.

A man shall trust not the oath of a maid, nor the word a woman speaks, for their hearts on a whirling wheel were fashioned, and fickle their breasts were formed.

In a breaking bow or a burning flame, a ravening wold or a croaking raven, in a grunting boar, a tree with roots broken, in billowy seas or a bubbling kettle, in a flying arrow or falling waters.

In ice new formed or the serpents folds, in a bride’s bed-speech or a broken sword; in the sport of bears or in sons of kings. In a calf that is sick, or a stubborn thrall, a flattering witch or a foe new slain.

In a light, clear sky or a laughing throng, in the bowl of a dog or a harlot’s grief!

In a brother’s slayer, if thou meet him abroad, in a half-burned house, in a horse full swift; one leg hurt and the horse is useless… None had ever such faith as to trust in them all.”

—Predictions of Odin One-Eyed, King of Asgard and the Nine, as quoted by Snorri

--------------------------------

Tony Stark’s Personal Lab, Avengers Tower, Manhattan, New York, United States of America

2 A.M., 28 April 2016

Steve

Steve yawned and rubbed his hand through his undoubtedly messy hair.

He had rolled straight out of bed when J.A.R.V.I.S. had called for him, and the only reason he hadn’t rolled right into the suit was because the A.I. had assured him it wasn’t an Assemble-call. He had, thus, not made a lot of effort, and wandered down to Tony’s lab in his pyjama’s.

His only concession to social convention had been to pull on an incredibly soft t-shirt, and thick, woollen socks that Thor had once gifted him.

“Tony,” he complained as soon as the elevator doors opened, “why am I here? I could be sleeping.”

He stopped short when he caught sight of Natasha and Wanda, both gaping at him with parted lips, Tony standing a little behind them, his hair wild and curly and his expression sheepish.

“You woke him up for this?” Natasha demanded, rounding on Tony with a mighty frown. “I thought we agreed to wait until tomorrow, at least—J.A.R.V.I.S. hasn’t even finished processing all the information!” She gestured towards the large holographic screen angrily, and Steve looked too, unsure of what he was looking at.

“I didn’t agree to anything,” Tony protested. “You said—”

“We don’t know anything!” Natasha bit out harshly, uncharacteristically emotional and expressive.

“He should know!” Tony argued.

Nat opened her mouth to argue back, but Steve had had enough. “Guys!” he yelled, startling them all. “What do I need to know?”

Tony blinked wide-eyed at him. “Uh,” he said. “See. The thing is…” He stopped and looked helplessly at Natasha, who had her arms crossed over her chest and was glaring at him.

“Steve,” Wanda said timidly from where she stood, slightly behind Natasha, her eyes wide and imploring. “I didn’t want to tell you unless I was sure.” She had pulled the sleeves of her long t-shirt down over her hands and was fiddling with the edges nervously. Steve hadn’t seen her look this withdrawn and nervous in… God, he didn’t even know how long, and he didn’t like it.

“Tell me what, kid?” he asked, careful to keep his tone calmer than before.

“We think Hydra might be back,” Tony blurted, before his eyes went wide again and he clapped his own hands over his mouth.

Steve stared at him.

“That’s not funny,” he croaked, his hands curling into fists at the mere idea. “That’s not fucking funny.”

Natasha looked at him, for the first time since she’d turned from him to yell at Tony, and her eyes were so sad, so horribly sad, that it made his skin crawl. He stood stock still as she approached, didn’t move when she laid a hand on his arm, didn’t breathe as she said, softly, “No one’s laughing, Steve.”

“I destroyed them,” he said, a little desperate. “I burned them to the ground, and I salted the earth, I made sure nothing was left.” He didn’t realize how loud he was speaking until the ringing silence that followed the last, shouted word. “I died destroying them,” he whispered. “They’re gone. Tony, you’re—you’re wrong.”

“It wasn’t Tony,” Wanda said quietly, and Steve startled at the sound of her voice.

“What?”

“It wasn’t Tony,” she repeated. “I found them. And we’re not sure, but… we’re as sure as we can be.”

Steve noted, right then, that his breathing was more unsteady than it had been since he’d received the serum. He felt like he was having an asthma attack for the first time in eighty years.

He couldn’t say he’d missed it.

He sat, heavily, in the nearest wheelie chair and stared at his hands—he’d killed, pretty indiscriminately, with these hands, had tried to raze everything even remotely related to Hydra to the ground with these hands—and wondered if everything he’d done, if everything he’d died for…

If it had all been for nothing.

“Tell me,” he finally whispered hoarsely, lifting his gaze from his hands to look at his teammates—his friends. “Tell me everything.”

—————————

E 206th Street, The Bronx, New York City, New York, United States of America

28 April 2016

Brock Rumlow

“Look,” Brock said patiently, slowly, because he knew he was pushing the line here, and that this whole thing could backfire on him very easily. “I’m not saying that I don’t think it’s a good idea, or that I don’t think you could and should do it.” He pushed up from the bed he shared with Sharon and walked over to where she stood, arms crossed over her chest and frowning.

“Shar,” he cajoled, trailing his hands down her upper arms. “I’m so proud of you. And of course, you should absolutely take this amazingopportunity, I’m just…” he shrugged and schooled his face into something semi-hurt. “I just wish I’d been part of the conversation, you know? We’re… I mean,” he sighed. “We’re supposed to be doing all of this together, right? And making huge, career-defining decisions are a part of that, aren’t they?”

He could see Sharon’s anger melting away, replaced by something sheepish—something he had been hoping to incite in her. He was desperately trying to salvage whatever he could from the flaming wreckage that had been his plan to turn Sharon.

In his defence, it had been working—Sharon had been relying on him, mostly, had been talking much more warmly about his fellow S.T.R.I.K.E. agents, who had been vocal about their support of her, while still feeding into the rumours about her supposed misconduct, and Brock had been so close to gently suggesting that maybe they should spend more time with those kinds of people…

With the people that believed her, that didn’t perpetuate a false, twisted version of her, with people like her and Brock—

And then it all got fucked up.

He’d been planning on how to turn Sharon for years, had set everything into motion years ago, had been working it—on her—for the longest time before fucking Rebecca Barnes and her meddlesome band of Avengers had ruined everything.

Fuck those fucking bastards.

And fuck fucking Rebecca Barnes for giving Sharon options.

For getting her away from S.H.I.E.L.D. and from Brock’s direct influence and fuck her for doing it so smoothly and sneakily and fucking publicly that he hadn’t been able to do anything but nod along.

All he could do now was try to pick up whatever pieces were left and try to formulate something new, something equally good or better, something that would get Pierce to listen to him, to acknowledge him and to recognise the work he did for the betterment of Hydra.

“You’re right,” Sharon sighed, arms falling to her side as she leaned back against their dresser. “You’re right, I’m sorry, I should’ve talked about it with you. I just…” she threw her hands up in exasperation and shook her head. “I was so excited, so thrilled by the idea of getting away from it all that I just…” she hesitated. “I just didn’t think about it and said yes.”

Brock lifted a hand to stroke his fingers through her thick, blonde hair as he must’ve done hundreds, if not thousands of times before in the past five years, and heaved a sigh.

Really, he might have grown to like Sharon more, over time, if she’d let him turn her.

She was fucking smart, and if he hadn’t been quite so good an actor, she’d have seen through him years ago, and it didn’t hurt that she was easy on the eyes either.

Not to mention that the sex was fantastic.

It really was too bad she was so independent and opinionated.

So mouthy.

He could’ve put up with her overbearing aunt and Rogers and Barnes if she’d just been a little more… a little more docile, a little more receptive to his needs.

If she would’ve let him turn her to Hydra, rather than take the first opportunity that led away from him with both hands, not even bothering to look back.

Some fiancée she was.

“I’m sorry,” she said softly, before she leaned in and kissed him.

He kissed back automatically, without thinking much about it—it’d become a reflex, after all this time—trying to consider what he was going to do now. What use did he have for Sharon now that it had become glaringly obvious that he was never going to be able to turn her unless he would entirely rewrite her memory, like they’d done to the Soldier.

Unlike the Soldier though, Sharon would likely not survive the procedure.

Barnes, however… much as she aggravated him just by existing, Barnes had the exact potential that Sharon now lacked.

He needed access to Barnes, to the Avengers and their plans—

Brock broke the kiss abruptly, leaning back far enough to see Sharon’s quizzical expression.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, forehead creasing into a frown.

“Nothing,” he shrugged, eyeing her carefully, fingers tightening in her hair. “Sorry babe. This ain’t personal.” He abruptly tightened his hand into a fist and yanked, smashing Sharon’s head against the dresser as hard as he could. She gave a yelp that abruptly cut off when she hit the hardwood surface, and dropped like a sack of bricks when he let go off her, falling to the floor of their bedroom in an inelegant heap.

Brock eyed her prone body.

Well. That was step one.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and shot a quick text to Jack Rollins.

Time to implement step two and work out the rest of the plan.

HYDRA had sat back and watched Barnes and the Avengers mess up their plans for too long. It was high time to remind Barnes of her place in the world—not a future princess of fucking Asgard, but a future Soldier of Hydra.

—————————

Start from the beginning:

In Hell We Stand By You:

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8)

Never Feel Alone:

(1) (2)

Decisions: (1)

Dancing with a Limp:

(1) (2)

Chances:

(1)

Starting Over: