#it's just. there's a lot of small details but very little specification on that third one.....

[luazasvogel]

  eats everything that big mom says because she basically lore drops everything if you squint hard enough-

[lafemmemacabre]

Goth 101

🦇 tl;dr version for those who prefer that format

Goth is a music-based subculture that started out in the UK in the late 70s/early 80s and spread internationally from there. It spawned from the UK Punk scene, keeping the DIY ethics but turning the music more melancholic, introspective and experimental.

The music genres that the subculture was built around are (dark) Post-Punk, Gothic Rock, Darkwave, Ethereal Wave and a few other smaller subgenres.

While the fashion and other non-musical aesthetics are very prominent and beloved by goths, they're non-essential to the subculture. What defines a goth is the music we listen to.

Our "big 4" bands are The Cure, Sisters of Mercy, Bauhaus and the Banshees. However, 3 out of 4 of those bands are Post-Punk acts (Sisters of Mercy being the exception Gothic Rock band), and while very influential to the rest of the goth music scene, they by no means are the end-all, be-all of what goth music sounds like. The genre has evolved through its over 40 years of existence, creating diverse sounds. Anyone darkly inclined can find something to love, even if it takes a bit of research.

The Dark & Gothic playlist on Spotify is a pretty decent way to get started into goth music. In my old blog I had entire tags dedicated to goth music as a whole, and separately to Post-Punk, Gothic Rock, Darkwave and Ethereal Wave too. I had a few playlists based on popular goth aesthetics here.

The longer description of goth music will include playlists for each bigger goth subgenre, but please keep in mind they're made by me in a way that appeals to my personal tastes for each subgenre. I don't know every band that exists and my personal taste is biased towards the 90s.

Now, to a more detailed introduction to the goth subculture...

🦇 Dark alternative vs Goth

What a lot of people need clarified is that the goth subculture doesn't have a monopoly on the dark alternative world, nor are we the home for everyone sad, spooky and weird who doesn't fit in and might listen to any sort of sad, spooky or weird alternative music.

There are SO many dark alternative music scenes that have nothing or very little to do with the goth subculture. We've influenced a lot of them fashion-wise, but just because they copied us we look alike doesn't mean we're interchangeable.

There's no scale that goes from Prep to Goth and measures how Valid™ your inner darkness is, in which if you're anything below goth then you're a poser and lame. It's perfectly fine and cool to be dark alternative without being a goth. Goth isn't a badge of legitimacy or honor, it's just one specific flavor of dark alternative among so many.

Goth is a very small and obscure subculture despite our superficial hypervisbility (our looks and infamy are hypervisible, what we're actually about is extremely buried underground), and most dark alternative people aren't goths.

🦇 What does it take to be a goth?

There's one rule, and one rule only: LISTEN TO THE MUSIC. You wouldn't call yourself a metalhead without being a fan of Metal music, would you? The same principle applies to goth.

There are many types of alternative subcultures; some examples are fashion-based subcultures, another are lifestyle-based subcultures. A third type of subculture that's very prominent (especially in the West) are music-based subcultures.

Goth is a music-based subculture, just like the metalhead, punk, emo, rivethead/Industrial, hip-hop, rave, K-Pop and grunge subcultures are.

This means that, while the music isn't THE ONLY aspect the subculture has, in order to be a goth you have to listen to goth music, and we have a specific set of music genres that our subculture was built around, so not just anything dark and melancholy will do, as we don't have a monopoly on that, but we do have something closer to a monopoly on a specific sound and musical legacy.

You don't have to listen to goth music EXCLUSIVELY to be a goth, that'd be insane. You don't even have to limit yourself to dark alternative music either. You just have to listen to goth music to a relevant degree and be passionate about it and you're in, the rest is up to you.

This means too that the way you dress has no impact on your validity as a goth, whether you don't have the gothic wardrobe of your dreams yet or you just don't want to dress goth at all. I'm TikTok mutuals with a girl who dresses exclusively in pink-white sweet lolita coords, but who's passionate about goth music. She's a goth, no questions about it. On the other hand, a lot of the influencers you'll see online who look like a lost Addams cousin aren't goths at all, and no house decor or outfit will make them gothier if they don't listen to the music.

🦇 What music counts as goth?

From the previous points I made you probably gathered that Industrial and Metal ⁠– both genres that outsiders usually associate with the goth subculture ⁠– aren't actually part of the goth genre. So, what is goth music?

Goth music developed initially in the UK in the late 70s/early 80s off of dark Post-Punk. Post-Punk itself developed from UK 70s Punk Rock, being also influenced by Glam Rock, experimental electronic music, and many other influences more specific to each band that took part in this musical development (Bauhaus were very influenced by Reggae!).

What characterizes the goth sound are elements such as; being bass-driven rather than guitar-driven (in almost every case), guitars playing more of a decorative or atmospheric role instead of being the main focus (which contrasts starkly against genres such as Metal), preference for voices with a lower vocal range (altos, this is your genre to shine in!), optional use of synthesizers, recurrent replacing of human drummers with drum machines, and common use of lots of reverb and delay effects everywhere for an extra sensation that you're listening to music recorded in a catacomb.

Dark Post-Punk was the starting point of the goth subculture, and from it, all other goth music subgenres developed. Depending on who you ask there's a billion goth micro-genres. In my opinion a lot of those subgenres are rather meaningless (a lot of them are just specific flavors of Post-Punk or Darkwave) but the main 4 subgenres of goth music are:

(Dark) Post-Punk

Gothic Rock

Darkwave

Ethereal Wave

POST-PUNK:

Post-Punk took the standard sound of Punk Rock and its DIY ethics and made the sound more melancholic, romantic, experimental, less angry, and more introspective. Dark Post-Punk in particular was influenced by gothic literature and old horror movies (including their soundtracks, the Banshees created their characteristic guitar sound after the violins in the Psycho soundtrack).

Besides the 3 Post-Punk bands I listed as part of the goth "big 4", there's bands such as Skeletal Family, Twin Tribes, Specimen, She Wants Revenge, Sex Gang Children, Xmal Deutschland, Lebanon Hanover, Cruex Lies, The Secret French Postcards and The Birthday Party.

GOTHIC ROCK:

When goth became slightly more established in sound, Gothic Rock is what happened. Less experimental than Post-Punk, a bit more Rock-based, more decidedly dark and miserable than Post-Punk necessarily is, and finally severed from goth's punk roots. Sisters of Mercy is THE most popular and influential Gothic Rock band; they popularized the use of extremely low baritone vocals and drum machines. Despite existing since the 80s, its popularity peak was in the 90s.

Goth as a whole has its "big 4", but the subgenre of Gothic Rock has its own "big 3", which are Sisters of Mercy, The Mission (UK), and Fields of the Nephilim. Other Gothic Rock bands are Rosetta Stone, Corpus Delicti, Inkubus Sukkubus, Mephisto Walz, Angels of Liberty, Two Witches, Nosferatu, Wisborg and Soror Dolorosa.

DARKWAVE:

Goth going electronic! There's basically two types of Darkwave; the one that's more a combination of Post-Punk + Synthpop (very popular in the past decade), and the one that's more a combination of Gothic Rock + electronic music in general (most popular in the 90s). EXTREMELY danceable, but then again goths can dance to literally anything. This genre has existed at the very least since the second half of the 80s and has never stopped being relevant in the goth scene, save maybe during the Deathrock revival phase.

Clan of Xymox might be the single most influential Darkwave band. There's also The Frozen Autumn, The Crüxshadows, Switchblade Symphony, Collide, Dark, Ghosting, London After Midnight, She Past Away, Drab Majesty and Boy Harsher.

ETHEREAL WAVE:

This genre is heavily linked to Dream Pop, Neoclassical Darkwave and Shoegaze. Like with Darkwave there's basically a few styles of Ethereal Wave, I can pinpoint three; the one that's like, regular Goth Rock/Post-Punk but with a lot of extra delay and reverb and other stylistic choices that make it sound, well, Ethereal, dream-like. There's the type that has lots of Folk influences (be it Medieval/Rennaisance-ish type of Folk or "ethnic" type of Folk), and there's one that's synth-based but, unlike Darkwave, sounds like what ketamine must feel like. This genre has existed since the mid 80s but its peak in popularity and relevancy in the scene was in the 90s.

Dead Can Dance is THE most influential Ethereal Wave band, but there's others such as Cocteau Twins (started as Post-Punk, ended up as Dream Pop and Ethereal Wave), Miranda Sex Garden, Faith and the Muse, Lycia, Claire Voyant, Hamsas XIII, Love is Colder than Death, SRSQ, Black Tape for a Blue Girl and Mors Syphilitica.

What about Deathrock, Gothic Metal and Industrial?

Deathrock is goth's American twin, basically. While in the early 80s in the UK morose ex-punks were playing Post-Punk, in the early 80s in the LA Punk scene morbid and brooding punk kids were playing Deathrock; it's closer to Punk Rock in sound than Post-Punk, being more about being spooky and brooding than about being eerie and romantic. Goth is to vampires and witches what Deathrock is to zombies and werewolves.

To summarize the consensus on Deathrock and its place within the goth subculture; it's rare to find a goth who's not also into at least some Deathrock, and even rarer to find a deathrocker who's not into goth. Personally, I think Deathrock is its own separate though very similar thing, but I don't mind Deathrock being lumped in with goth music.

I made a whole TikTok video on why Gothic Metal isn't a goth subgenre, but in summary; Gothic Metal is a Metal subgenre that was somewhat influenced by goth music in its earliest stage of development, but is for the most part a cross between Doom Metal and Death Metal with lyrics inspired by gothic literature. By adhering to a Metal sound it doesn't fit the type of sound goth music has. The goth influences in Gothic Metal were mostly only present in the earliest bands and a majority of the newer acts are completely disconnected from the goth scene.

As for goth's ties to the rivethead subculture (and thus, Industrial music): We've been sibling subcultures since at least the early 90s. Both very, very small and underground scenes that despite being different, had enough similarities in music, idiosyncrasy and aesthetic sensibilities to comfortably band together for the sake of scene viability. That's why you might hear people talking about the "gothic-industrial scene".

Keep in mind too that 80s and 90s Industrial music sounded very different from how it does now (compare your average Grendel or Combichrist song to your average Skinny Puppy or Die Form song). There was a lot less influence of raver music in the rivethead scene back then, and a lot more influence from 80s dark alternative music and New Wave, which are key influences for the goth scene as well.

As told by goth YouTuber Angela Benedict (goth since 1995), every goth back then listened to at least some Industrial, every rivethead listened to at least some goth music, and they all loved 80s New Wave, so DJs at shared club nights had a very easy time entertaining both audiences simultaneously.

🦇 Trivia & other things to know

The term "gothic Rock" was being used in music journalism as early as to describe releases by The Doors and The Velvet Underground, but the word "gothic" there wasn't so much used to point to a specific type of sound at that stage, it was used to imply the mood of the music and that's not where the subculture gets its name.

We don't know for sure why this subculture began to be referred to as "goth", initially the music was called either New Wave (just a darker and more underground variety of it) or Positive Punk. However, one of the potential roots of this name for our subculture is that it comes from an inside joke from members of Southern Death Cult/The Cult about Andi Sexgang (Sex Gang Children) about how he was a creepy little guy obsessed with the macabre and dark romanticism living at the Visigoth Towers, so they called him a "goth goblin" and if he was a goth, then his fans were goths too.

From the comments that the goth bloggers/vloggers I follow get, apparently it's common for baby bats and people interested in the subculture to think that they HAVE to find a goth "type" to lock themselves into, like "trad goth" or "romantic goth" or whatever else, and if they don't, they're a poser. This isn't true at all. Most goths wax and wane between fashion styles and goth music subgenres. These terms are far more useful to describe aesthetics rather than people or music.

If you ever hear people talk about "1st/2nd/3rd wave goth/Gothic Rock"; that's an (in my opinion) outdated and not too functional terminology to differentiate between "eras" of goth music, 1st wave being between 1975-1985, 2nd between 1985-1995, and 3rd between 1995-? That terminology was used widely when I was a baby bat but not so much anymore.

"Baby bat" is what a lot of more established goths call newbies! It's NOT meant as an insult nor to be condescending. It's a loving cutesy term and while of course most baby bats are very young, it's perfectly plausible to be a very grown adult and a baby bat if they just got into goth instead of getting into the subculture as a teen.

Most goth bands are easily found on Spotify except for more underground ones that haven't been active for a while (I have so many beloved bands and songs that just don't exist on Spotify), but the real goth jackpot is at Bandcamp.

Facebook is still useful for one (1) thing and it's for finding goth events; that's where I've found out about gothic fairs, goth nights and gigs; from the largely popular ones in my local scene to the very underground ones.

The song most of the subculture agrees is THE first official goth song is Bela Lugosi's Dead by Bauhaus, which was recorded as a singular take. It was the first track the band recorded together, too.

The Batcave is infamous nowadays as a huge goth night club in Soho (London) during the early 80s, owned by the band Specimen, BUT as told by the very people who used to frequent the nightclub, the whole thing has been a little overblown and its current reputation is more legend than fact. YouTuber Gothcast has a great video on the subject that was praised by members of Specimen itself!

Most of the most iconic pioneer goth musicians HATE being referred to as goths or to have their music referred to as such. When the term "goth" was first starting to be used to describe our music and scene it was a pejorative used by outsiders and/or mostly associated with the campier and more "low brow" bands (Specimen and Alien Sex Fiend come to mind). Andrew Eldritch from Sisters of Mercy especially hates it, to the point he refuses to even say the word and refers to it as "the G word". Which is hilarious since he sounded the most stereotypically gothy out of the big 4 and looked like this at the time he started to be a piss baby about it:

Goth isn't really a "youth" subculture anymore if you ask people within the scene. Unlike people from many other subcultures, goths have a tendency to stay goth far into adulthood (even if covertly). When you go to any events, besides teens and people in their early 20s, you're gonna see plenty of goths in their 40s and older, a few of them will bring their kids along if the event is family friendly.

Besides the obvious chance of many goths being professional creatives (musicians, writers, artists, etc), for some reason A LOT of goths work in tech and healthcare!

Metalheads headbang, they and punks also mosh. What do goths do to vibe to our music together? We dance! We don't dance the same as non-goths but we LOVE to dance to our music, together or solo. There's no established dance styles to adhere to; it's just letting your body flow to the music. Some goth dancing is very intricate, some of it is very simple, it depends on the goth in question. Just in case, this is NOT like the dance gifs of cybergoths/rivetheads under that damned bridge. Think less that and more Wednesday Addams dancing to The Cramps, or the girl from the Night of the Demons movie. Here's some videos about how goths dance:

We fucking love 80s New Wave. No, Depeche Mode isn't a goth band; yes, you'll have to dig deep to find a goth who doesn't ADORE them. The only one I've come across who disliked Depeche Mode liked Soft Cell instead.

Goth IS international! Not just in the sense that there's fans of goth music basically everywhere, but that there's local goth scenes with their own local goth bands everywhere. Outside of the US + Europe + Canada, there's huge goth scenes all over Latin América (our Deathrock and Post-Punk are at times even popular among 1st world goths), and there's also smaller but still present goth scenes in Africa, Asia and Oceania. She Past Away is very much one of THE most popular goth bands in recent years and they're from Turkey.

The goth scene has always been in friendly terms with the LGBT community. Not only are many of our biggest icons LGBT themselves (the whole band Specimen, AVC from Sopor Aeternus, both members of Diavol Strâin, the vocalist from Male Tears, Cinnamon Hadley, and many more) but plenty of cishet goths (especially the men) embrace gender non-conformity and/or androgyny. In most local scenes, goth club nights are held at gay bars/nightclubs, as they don't tend to have privately owned venues. And either way, at any goth night there'll be tons of gay and gender non-conforming goths no matter where they're held. To varying degrees depending on the locality of the scene, gay and bi people are completely normalized in the goth subculture, and gender non-conformity and androgyny aren't just encouraged, but praised and coveted.

There's goths of any religion you can think of, but Neo Pagans are somewhat over-represented in our community compared to the rest of larger society (for better or worse). Funnily enough, very few goths are actually Satanists of any sort. I'd say the numbers go more or less similar to our local non-goth peers. In the West and westernized countries I'd say it goes; majority culturally-Christian atheist or agnostic goths (usually not militant about it), a few practicing Christians of whichever denomination (usually whichever is dominant in the country they inhabit), the rare but entirely plausible Jewish, Muslim or Buddhist goth, and a bunch of Neo-Pagans. Probably one (1) or two (2) actual Satanist goths per state/province/etc, tops.

World Goth Day is celebrated every year on May 22nd.

"Mallgoth" isn't a type of goth in either a musical or fashion sense. I made another TikTok about it, but in summary; it was originally hurled as an insult towards a very specific type of poser; the American kids in the late 90s and early 00s who imitated how goths dressed and called themselves goths while only listening to Nu Metal and maybe the most mainstream Industrial Metal. They tended to congregate at malls and behave particularly obnoxious to everyone there, further ruining our already delicate image (especially at that time).

Cybergoths aren't really goths either. Their music scene is centered around EBM, which is basically slightly darker and slightly more aggressive raver music that may or may not have Industrial influences. And to be honest they behaved like a rapacious invasive species in goth club nights to the point that they almost decimated the actual goth scene and it took us a while to recover from that.

Goths are sometimes perceived as too self-serious but honestly? We love making fun of ourselves and we tend to have a very silly or dry sense of humor. We're just tired of the same cheap and inaccurate jokes made by people who don't know anything about us. The best jokes about goths will often come from goths ourselves; you can only properly make fun of something you understand well! The few times outsiders get it right though? (Sad to confirm that the South Park goth kids are hilarious and I wish they were in a better show) You'll see goths sharing the SHIT out of it, such as me being obsessed with the goths from Ridonculous Race, or the clip below:

[nolongerapileofashprobably]

Just like how botw had small details telling us the probable ‘canonical’ route Link took (aka Zora, Rito, Goron, and then Gerudo), totk has something similar. I’m sure all players noticed that the newspapers will feature one region that is meant to direct Link to go aid the people there. First is Rito, next is Goron, third is Zora, and last is Gerudo. BUT! They also added something else.

Zelda’s role in the story. Namely, her interactions with Tulin, Yunobo, King Dorephan, and Riju. Annnnnnddd Link’s reactions to her!

Tulin’s interaction with her is one meant to confuse players: Zelda was in the past, but Tulin saw her? So she’s here in the present and we’re chasing after her. Sounds a lot like Skyward Sword, okay (which was released on the switch last year, so anyone who didn’t play it back in 2012 had another chance to). It confuses Link, but spurs him to become a journalist ? Cool, I’m here for it. I did journalism for 4 years, I’m sure Link can do it too!

Then, for Yunobo, he actively speaks to Zelda, we see her figure, and Link will actively gasp whenever we see her. He has a genuine reaction to her presence, because he’s surprised, but then we see pink gloom glow in the mask that Zelda have Yunobo and it makes him freak out land turn against Link. That’s when we start to put together that maybe Zelda is being controlled? Or she’s NOT Zelda, just as Yunobo begins to theorize but can’t quite wrap his head around it.

Next, we have King Dorephan who is actually attacked by Zelda and is injured to the point that he decides to hide from his people as to not create more chaos in this time. He chooses to give Zelda the benefit of the doubt here— he could have easily had his people turn against Hyrule and all Hylians because of Zelda’s actions. But he doesn’t! Because it simply doesn’t make sense. And by the end of the quest, Sidon comes to the conclusion that the Zelda in the past and the Zelda in the present are NOT the same.

And we see that thought truly stick with Link in a cutscene in Gerudo. After defending Kara Kara Bazaar, Zelda appears and Riju calls out for her. There is no gasp from Link like with Yunobo’s story, instead he watches Zelda with a slightly narrowed gaze and does not stop watching where she was last seen until Riju directly addresses him. They actively show the players that Link is suspicious, but he is still so very dedicated.

And it happens again, in the center of the light triangle. Zelda appears and Link begins to walk toward her, but there is no intake of breath, no shock at seeing her… instead he slowly walks until Riju calls out for him.

After Link finishes each phenomenon, going to Lookout Landing gives the players a clue in how Link is reacting. Specifically, if you speak to Buliara before going to see Purah, she says something along the lines of “Purah is up on the top deck, but don’t miss a wrung in your haste to get up there.”

Link is expected to rush. Because everyone is muttering about a figure that MIGHT be Zelda. At the castle. Right. Then. And. There.

Link GASPS when he first looks into the scope— Purah doesn’t even say it’s Zelda, not before Link sees for himself. It’s seeing her, clear as day, and even if Link KNOWS it’s not her… there’s still that seed of doubt that lives in his mind. And then at the castle, Link does twist and turn whenever he hears Zelda. He rushes after her every. Single. Time. She disappears. Despite that he knows it isn’t her, he can’t give up. He can’t. It’s quite literally not in his DNA. He sees it through; he needs to make sure it isn’t her. And it’s all a trap, one he walks right into, because he just HAS to see that it isn’t her.

And if you want to say “but Ash… this is just a recap of the storyline in the present.. not small details” let us just remember that Link’s driving motivation in this game is to find Zelda and bring her home. So many people just ignore these little moments or miss them completely.

And I’ll be damned if I don’t talk about link’s gasps or his twists and turns or his micro expressions that tell us so much about how he is feeling.

[demonbarberofbeepbeep]

I saw Sweeney with Aaron Tveit and Sutton Foster on Sunday :3 BRAIN DUMP  WITH SPECIFIC PRODUCTION DETAILS AHEAD. DONT READ IF YOU DONT WANT TO SPOILED ON CERTAIN ACTING CHOICES THEY MAKE

First, Sutton, my surprise fav: 

Now, I had heard the Worst Pies leak from her, and I was worried. But I actually ended up loving her Nellie Lovett. 

The former cast had a younger, pretty blonde soprano style Mrs Lovett. Sutton was a little bit of a return to the classic Mrs. Lovett dynamic - an older, scatterbrained woman. Not as openly seductive and feminine as Annaleigh, but very funny and affable.  She was less sensuous, older, more desperate. Kind of a Katherine Hepburn physicality, long and slender flailing limbs. Goofy but an intense undercurrent of loneliness. She had a very gangly and bumbling physicality to her. She was taller  than Sweeney (in her heels) and that affected their dynamic in interesting ways - when she was coming on to him, it almost felt like she was trying to grapple him sometimes. She did some very funny new bits. In her entrance to Worst Pies In London, she had a carrot and she was biting pieces off it and spitting it out into the pie crust. It was a hilarious gag.  People were surprised at how wobbly her delivery was on the first night - well, it was like that on the third night too! It was pretty funny. She was obviously doing it on purpose. 

She slid off his lap in By The Sea and put her feet in his face and then started rubbing his chest and taking off his suspenders with her toes. She got a lot of mileage out of flailing her limbs in a humorous fashion. I think her comedic chops really shined here and in Little Priest.

I think her darkness was more on view here too - she had a truly evil look when she embraced Toby at the end of Not While I’m Around. And she had an interesting moment of cruelty with the Beggar Woman - when they had their confrontation, she seemed to grasp her chin or pull her hair or something in a way that caused her pain. It seemed like she was right on the edge, and totally desperate, with claws at the ready.

I have really mixed feelings about Aaron’s Sweeney. There were some things I liked about him. He does a good scowl, and when he burst onto the scene, lit from above, his eyes cast into shadow  - I felt like we were in for a convincingly demented and dark take. But unfortunately, he did not keep the intensity up the whole time. Part of this is, I think, out of his control - he’s just a very handsome and small-framed man, and he didn’t look either intimidating and beefy, like Nicholas Christopher, nor convincingly beaten down and sad eyed, like Josh Groban. I think he tried to play a more open-to-Lovett Sweeney, but once he let up the scowling and hate, I just felt like there wasn’t enough negative affect to him left. Beard or no beard, his look just screams “handsome prince“ or  “elf” or something.

The real thing I struggled with was his voice. Now, he’s obviously an amazing talent and an incredible singer, and I did enjoy seeing him. How could I not? It’s Enjolras from the Les Mis movie! So cool! But having a tenor in this role is just kinda wrong. There were moments where we needed Sweeney’s baleful booming voice to really resonate and he just didn’t deliver - in the ominous duet with Turpin, or in the crowd scene where he’s heckling Pirelli - he sounded high, weak, and reedy. There wasn’t enough power. And I know he has a beautiful voice, but having him as Sweeney didn’t really let him use it to its full advantage. Sure, he can soar into high octaves, but what good does that do us when he’s just hitting the lower notes in a nothing-special register rather than a deep rich boom? It didn’t really portray Sweeney’s madness or darkness. It’s just wasn’t right for the character.

He did make some interesting and unique choices for the character. Some things I noticed and liked: he often grabbed his chest or heart, as if in pain. He was very nimble and scrambled and leaped around the stage. This is a “quick and quiet and clean ‘e was” style Sweeney. So, to make up for the lack of deep ominous voice, I expect him to really amp up the madness. And he gave some good crazy acting for Epiphany. What he really is good at is scowling, barking laughter, scampering around. But his acting job was uneven.  His Benjamin Barker reveal, rather than being brutal, was a little bit strange - he was across the room and then ran at the judge to slash his throat. I felt very let down by the final sequence. I expected some chewing-the-scenery style screaming and moaning. He didn’t scream or cry, just kind of grimaced. “Oh no… Lucy…” Honestly, it wasn’t as sad and melodramatic from anyone as I wanted it to be.  He laughed when Toby came to kill him, which was kind of cool, but also contributed to the weird lightness of his take.

Their chemistry - they were playing it to be more fond of each other. They had moments of chemistry and acknowledging each other right out of the gate. He was surprisingly game about eating the pie, almost trying to make her feel better about it or something. Later, when he grasped her arms and asked about his wife, it seemed like there was already a spark of mutual feeling or something. This is a nicer Todd than I’ve seen. He was also pretty indulgent to her in By The Sea, grasping her knee reassuringly when he said he loved her. They did not have the crazy ass chemistry that Josh and Annaleigh had by the end of their run, which is perhaps to be expected. Again, I liked how friendly they were with each other. It worked well for Sutton’s take on Mrs. Lovett. We got to see how she jumped hungrily at any scrap of kindness he tossed her. But along with his light voice and handsome tiny man vibe, it served to make him even less menacing and foreboding, which he already didn’t have enough of IMO. So, mixed bag. 

Other notes from the night: 

Delaney was on as Johanna! She was awesome, a very fleshed out version. You could tell she had done it before. She had a lot of funny intonations in Green Finch and Linnet Bird, really pausing to consider what the birds might be doing.  “Are you discussing? 😑 Or fussing? 😩Or merely dreaming? 🙂 Are you crowing? 😧 Are you SCREAMING?? 😰”

One interesting live theater moment: In the scene where she’s trying to escape Sweeney’s parlor, I think she smashed her face getting out of the box. Her hat was off and she was holding a cloth in front of her face for some reason until she left the shop. It looked like she was bloodied, but she played it off well. I hope she’s okay! 

Joe Locke as Toby -  he had a beautiful voice, very sweet sweet younger style Toby. Much like Aaron, IMO, he did not get crazy enough with it at the end. But beautiful voice and heartbreakingly vulnerable. There were a few new cast members who were good, didn’t get their names, but I liked ‘em!

[sakufilms]

dads suck ; jm

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⌁ jj maybank x reader

⌁ hiding bruises and keeping secrets is something jj knows all too well, and he wants nothing but to bring you comfort. // angst, hurt/comfort, platonic.

⌁ 2.1k words

! : gender neutral r (they/them), overly strict parent, abuse, bruises, sad jj, jj and r #bonding el oh el, swearing, not set in any specific season/time, not really edited.

✐ in anticipation for outer banks 3, i did this really quick (it’s also my very first obx fic!!). the downside: i don’t remember a lot of the small details of this show and i’m not currently able to watch it yet, so if anything seems off, that’s probably why. also, hopefully i got jj’s characterization right??

Walking into your own home wasn't supposed to strike fear into your heart like a spreading disease, nor was it supposed to make your hands shake beyond your control, eyes darting around fearfully. It was supposed to be your safe place—your sanctuary.

The place where you were supposed to feel loved and cared for, brought you heartbreak and hurt. Any wrong move could lead to being hit or yelled at, and you hated it.

You didn't tell anyone about it, however. Instead using your smiles and laughter as a shield to keep everyone from being suspicious, fearing that maybe your Dad wasn't lying when he said if anyone hears about this, I'll make you regret it. Understand that?

You felt that same fear as you entered your house, stepping into the foyer. You had just gotten back from school, and the day had been rather uneventful as usual until something went wrong. You were a few minutes late to your third period class because your second period teacher asked you to help carry some textbooks to another classroom. It took longer than expected, however.

In the end, you weren’t even that late, you you shouldn’t have been surprised when your Dad was called about your brief absence to the class.

You wish you could say that it wouldn’t of been that big a deal, but you already know that your night was about to get a whole lot worse than the usual.

You froze in your steps, hearing your name being called from the kitchen. You couldn’t keep him waiting too long though, so your dragged yourself to the kitchen, eyes directed to the floor.

“Hi, Dad.”

Your Dad was doing the dishes, which was something that shocked you to your core. You felt rooted in place, watching as he placed a clean dinner plate onto the drying rack. It was such a simple, ordinary thing to most, but he always insisted that this was your job, along with many other chores. He’d pick out every little thing about it that you were doing wrong—even if you were doing nothing wrong at all—and he’d make you pay for it.

“Hi, sweetheart.” The nickname sent shivers down your spine. This doesn’t feel right. “How was school?”

You stayed standing where you were, shifting in place only slightly. “It was good.” You nodded. Your hands were behind your back, and you gripped them together tightly, praying that they would stop shaking.

“Really?”

You felt the pressure of the situation press down on your shoulders, threatening and hoping for your bones to crack under the intensity of it all. You nodded at him, with a light hum, not wanting your voice to waver if you spoke.

“Nothing too interesting happen today?”

You faintly shook your head.

“Well, maybe tomorrow might be more eventful, hmm?” He smiled, but it almost felt sinister. You knew it meant nothing good.

Your Dad continued to do the dishes, confusion slowly creeping up your spine. You didn’t understand.

When he reached over to put a clean cup on the rack, his hand was noticeably too far from the rack, but he let the glass fall from his fingertips anyway. You jumped slightly as the glass hit the ground, the clear shimmering glass shattering into pieces as it hit the ground. Your Dad tsked, sighing as he observed the mess he’d made with an unsettling glint in his eyes.

“Well,” he said, “looks like you’re gonna have to clean this up.”

You didn’t realize you’d frozen in place until he repeated himself louder. Like instinct, you started picking up the pieces of glass. He’d started telling you how this was all you fault that the cup broke, even though you both knew it couldn’t possibly be your fault.

“This is what you get for that call I got earlier today.”

You faltered for a moment, but kept picking up the glass.

“Are you ignoring me now?!”

You immediately shook your head, but he was having none of it. He grabbed your wrist, pulling you up to your feet. Your heart was in your throat as he pushed you against the counter with an angry glint in his eyes.

"After everything I've done for you, and you can't even manage to get to class on time?! You'll ruin my reputation!" He yelled at you. He raised a hand, slapping you across the face. "Ungrateful.” He seethed. He raised a hand to hit you again, and you tried to get away, but he was too strong, holding you in place. He hit you again. "Worthless." He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you up and throwing you onto the glass covered ground. You cried lout as you hit the floor, feeling a small piece of glass pierce your cheek where your head hit the ground.

This wasn't how it usually went. He was being worse than usual. Usually, he'd hit you in places it couldn't be seen, like your ribs. It was why you'd stick to one piece swim suits. He knew where he could hurt you without people noticing. You don't know why it's different this time—whether it was a bad day at work or lack of sleep—but he didn't seem to care about where he hurt you or who would see.

He looked down on you, clearly liking how much power he had over you. He then huffed, giving you a harsh kick to the ribs. You felt the air escape from your lungs as you wheezed out at the pain, and he walked off with a scoff.

You don’t know how long you stayed there on the floor, surrounded by a halo of broken glass, your ribs and face slowly turning red and purple from the hits. You stayed long enough that the house had gone completely silent—your Dad had left.

So, you shakily pushed yourself up, gripping onto the counter for balance. It took you what felt like an unbearable amount of time to get to the front door and out the house, and you couldn’t even describe how long the walk to the château felt. With how hard your head hit the floor, you were surprised you hadn’t collapsed yet.

You dropped yourself onto the bench on the porch of the château, not having the energy to go any further.

You heard a door open, and the sound of someone lightly cursing, then your name being called. Messy blonde hair came into your view, and blue sad eyes. He said your name again.

You groaned.

“What happened? Oh, my God, you— are you— fuck.” JJ picked you up, bringing you inside. He put you on the couch gently, rushing out of the room. You almost felt bad, really. You didn’t want to put all of this pressure on him, but you didn’t know where else to go.

You weren’t as close to the pogues as everyone else in the group was, because you were a bit newer to the group. You hung out with them all the time, but you didn’t feel like you were attached at the hip quite yet.

JJ returned only a few moments later with a first aid kit. You trusted him to do a good job, because you knew he’s handled things like this before. No one really told you about JJ’s home life, but it was no secret on the island of what kind of person Luke Maybank was. They saw the state he was in, and they’d see JJ walk around with bruises, and then people’d start talking. It was easy to figure out that JJ Maybank had a hard life.

You didn’t realize he’d started tending to your wounds until you felt a sharp pain in your cheek, and JJ pulled away the piece of glass. He apologized, clearly stressed and upset, and you felt guilty again.

“What happened?” His voice caught in his throat a little when he spoke. Just because you weren’t as close with him as the rest of them were with him doesn’t mean he didn’t care. You were best friends, and the lack of having years of memories didn’t change that. You had your entire life ahead of you to make some.

You found yourself unable to speak even though you wanted to, worrying again about your Dad somehow finding out. It pained you to admit the amount of control he had over you.

But you wanted to be helped. It was a desperate, aching feeling that you carried with you in every step. Every time you spoke, the words almost fell off your tongue but then you’d falter, saying something else with a smile that you weren’t so sure was real anymore. If there was anyone to speak to, and if there was any time to do it, it was to say it to JJ right now.

“It was…” you felt like the walls were caving in on you as you had a moment where you thought he wouldn’t even believe you. There were hardly any signs of anything happening in your home before, and your Dad always looked so polite and put together.

When JJ saw your hesitance, the words dying in your mouth, he felt his worry spike. He hoped his assumption was wrong.

“My, uhm…” you held back a cry from what had happened and from the pain of JJ cleaning your wounds, “my Dad.”

The secret was finally out and into the world, and you didn’t know how to feel. You were relieved, but for some reason you couldn’t get your hands to stop shaking.

“Fuck, I—“ JJ’s heart was in his throat as he continued to clean your wounds as gently as possible. He felt like a lit candle slowly slowly dying down at your revelation. You, who was always smiling and laughing; cracking jokes with the pogues like you’d known them for years; and giving out kindness like your life depended on it… you were more like JJ than he’d initially thought.

JJ didn’t know what to say, for a moment or two. He continued to aid you, chewing on his lower lip in thought. He’d always dealt with his pain with jokes, which he wasn’t sure if it was appropriate or not. Maybe you could use a laugh right now though.

“Dad’s suck, huh?”

In your haze of tears and hurt, a small and weak laugh bubbled from your chest. “Yeah, they do.”

With some of the tension lifted off your shoulders, the next short silence that followed wasn’t so bad, more so welcomed with the knowledge that JJ believed you, and he cared about you. He didn’t outright say it, but you knew it to be true.

When he zipped up the first aid kit, placing it on the table, he then turned to you. “This uh… this been going on long?” You knew serious conversations weren’t exactly his strong suit.

You only nodded in reply.

“You can tell us anything, you know? We’re pogues, man. Whether you like it or not we’re not leaving you behind. All right?”

You nodded again, this time letting a tear slip. You put your head down, wiping it away. JJ frowned when you muttered out an apology.

“Why are you sorry?”

“For being weak.”

JJ was getting déjà vu, watching the way you cried and apologized for it. He knew the feeling of feeling weak all too well. “Crying doesn’t make you any weaker, y’know.”

Your head snapped up as you were about to protest.

“It doesn’t.” He insisted, leaning forward to show how much he meant it. “If that’s something that your dad told you, than he’s wrong. He doesn’t know shit.” JJ felt his heart cracking at the sight of more tears pooling in your waterline. “The fact that you’ve put up with this so long on your own shows how strong you are, y’know that?… you don’t have to do it on your own anymore.”

Before you knew it his arms were wrapped around you, putting you close. You cried harder at the comfort, feeling warmth blossom on your chest.

Eventually you two pulled away, and he settled for resting a hand on your shoulder.

“My head hurts.” You said, holding a hand up to your temple while blinking tiredly.

“Did you hit it off something?”

You nodded. “The floor.”

JJ suppressed his anger, instead saying, “All right, you’ll have to rest later, in case you have a concussion.” The idea of not being able to close your eyes and sleep made you internally groan, but you knew he was right.

You were grateful that JJ was the one here. Even though you’d have to face your Dad again later, right now you were content with spending the night at the château with JJ, laughing a little brighter than before.

@ sakufilms

[pub-lius]

im lowkey losing count but lafayette pt. 6???

okay this is a little bit embarrassing because this part will have a lot less detail since I'm both uneducated and lazy when it comes to the French Revolution SFHKSJFHSKJ also the details about lafayette in this section are highkey boring sooo here's pt. 5 and lets get moving

In Between Revolutions

Lafayette returned home from the war in December 1781, but no one really cared because Marie Antoinette had just given birth to her first son, so they were like. "ok! anyway" when they saw him.

He didn't spend very long in France, and he returned to America to do a small little tour of the states in 1784. He stayed at Mount Vernon for a little while, which would be the last time he ever saw his adoptive father, George Washington.

I'm going to talk about slavery now. Lafayette never commented on slavery at Mount Vernon, mostly due to his reverence of Washington, however Lafayette was proactive in abolitionism. He created his own plan to purchase an island plantation where the enslaved people would work to earn pay and be able to buy their own freedoms. He and Adrienne both arranged for education programs and career options for the enslaved people so that they would be well-adjusted to society by the time they were awarded their freedom. However, property seizures during the French Revolution would prevent them from ever being freed. So, you could say Lafayette owned slaves, but you have to consider that the only enslaved people he ever purchased were for this specific project.

Also, I'm begging you to look into James Lafayette and Peter Ostiquette (Otchikeita) because I don't have time to get into their stories here but they are really interesting POC figures in early US history. send me an ask if you want, i just don't have enough patience to do the research along with all this lafayette shit

While he was in America, he helped negotiate a treaty with the Six Nations/Iroquois with James Madison, since he already had particularly good relations with the Oneida tribe. The Oneidas gave him the name Kayewla, which was the name of one of their former warriors.

He returned to France after his short visit and helped negotiate trade agreements between his mother country and the United States along with Thomas Jefferson. Technically on paper, Lafayette was only supposed to have an advisory role in these international affairs, but he just. started doing it. and this pissed off a special someone.

That special someone was, of course, John fucking "I'm a bitch to everyone and wonder why they don't like me" Adams. Btw Lafayette did NOTHING WRONG to him, he was just butthurt. Lafayette would continue to press for an official representative of France (which wasn't allowed since he was allied to both France and America) while John Adams was fired <3

Lafayette was also a little involved in the Society of Cincinnati controversy, but he followed Washington's lead by not getting too involved. He was also a part of the Republic of Letters and the American Philosophical Society. With all that along with being a Freemason, he was basically admitting to being in the Illuminati

Could you imagine if I was just like a really intense conspiracy theorist and this is how you found out? I'm not but like. that's pretty funny

French Pre-Revolution

When Lafayette reestablished himself in Paris, he was a much richer, much more confident guy, which allowed for all kinds of rich guy shenanigans. These shenanigans included, two affairs, being a karen, getting into debt, and politics! Let's talk about the politics part, because I don't get paid enough to talk about all of it.

Lafayette was elected to the Second Estate of the Assembly of Notables, which has a french name thats almost exactly the same but I'm too lazy to type accents. He had very ambitious goals that aligned with his very liberal morals, which caused him to be closely allied with the men of the Third Estate aka the rich poor people.

Lafayette would end up having a crucial role in the writing of the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen, and a more minor role in organizing the Constitution, since he was too busy with the actual revolution!

The French Revolution Revolution

I just want to preface that, in the French Revolution, Lafayette was considered one of the leaders of the moderate party. "But pub-lius, I thought he was super radical because of his behavior during the American Revolution!" Yeah, well, little richie, you're fucking wrong. There are always bigger fish and there are always more liberal white men. Lafayette would get out-liberaled and out-conservatived by almost everyone during the Revolution, and that's why he didn't last. Basically. Pretty much.

Lafayette was named Commander of the National Guard in 178 which made his name even longer by the National Assembly, which was the first Revolutionary French government! There would be fifty million fucking more governments from now until 1792 i swear to fucking god-

If I sound stress to you, it's because this is literally the most stressful part of Lafayette's life, and actually I don't think it gets more stressful than this. I'd say Lafayette was more stressed as Commander of the NG than Washington was as Commander of the Continental Army. He was basically always running back and forth across Paris, putting down rebellions, and starting massacres because he's stupid, and organizing the Fête de Fédération, and constantly being threatened with lampposts and pikes. It stresses me out just reading about that.

After the more liberal white men took over the French government in 1792, Lafayette fled the country expecting more friendly faces outside France's borders. He was fucking wrong, he got arrested by Austrians immediately. He remained in prison for like five years or something.

What had happen was Lafayette was viewed by the powers of Europe as the motherfucker responsible for bringing the revolution to France, and they decided they needed to take the bitch out back, except not really, they just took his clothes and put him in a dirty cell for a while. Eventually, Adrienne and the girls joined him, while Georges Washington de Lafayette escaped to America to live with Alexander Hamilton. Which that is just a really American thing to happen.

This imprisonment had severe consequences for Adrienne, who would be permanently injured by the illness she and the others suffered while in prison, which would eventually cause her death in 1807, but we're not done with her yet.

Womp Womp Napoleon is in charge, and he doesn't like Lafayette, because Lafayette said he was a dictator, and that hurt his feelings, so he exiled Lafayette and his son and sons in law. So, while Lafayette was gardening in exile, Adrienne stepped up to the mother fucking plate and went into Paris every day to absolutely girlboss her way into reclaiming her family's citizenships and fortunes and KICKED ABSOLUTE ASS YOU GO GIRL I LOVE YOU.

Also I'm fairly sure it was during this time that Lafayette fucked up his leg by slipping on ice and breaking it and then it was improperly treated so his hip. rotted???? and he was in severe pain for the rest of his life. Nice going, fuckface.

Retirement and DEATH :'(

Lafayette did manage to scrap together a bit of a career after reentering France. He was elected to the Chamber of Deputies and had minor political roles along with his son, but he was more like an antique vase at this point.

He did go on a tour in 1824 and I highly recommend checking out The Lafayette Trail, where they track every place he went during this Farewell Tour!! It's so cool and I love them. I looked into if and when Lafayette came to Louisiana, and found out his fucking ship sunk on his way here FKSJFHSJ so he was stranded in the Mississippi river for a little bit which is silly.

While Lafayette was managing his estate, La Grange, he made many young friends, to whom he served as a mentor. In return, they kept him appraised of all the political and scientific developments which he was very interested in. La Grange is very interesting, since it was largely based on Mount Vernon, which if I think about that too much I'll cry.

And then... Lafayette died on May 20, 1834 at... 4:20 am. Historians won't tell you that. They don't want you to know that he died at 4:20. But I'll tell you. I'm a beacon of truth.

Also, by the way, he died of fucking pneumonia. And I'm not judging him for dying of pneumonia, I almost died of pneumonia, but i am ABSOLUTELY judging him for GETTING pneumonia. He got pneumonia from being outside in the rain repeatedly and refusing to go inside or take shelter. I got it from the same thing but I was like TEN YEARS OLD AND IT WAS HALLOWEEN, and he was a GROWN MAN WHO JUST NEEDED AN OUNCE OF COMMON SENSE. So, anyway, yeah, he's fucking dead.

this last half of his life is very rushed, I admit, but things should go a bit better with the last person on our list here. Which, by the way, prepare your ass for that. He's rapidly approaching.

[pep-the-artemis]

Uzi the Anarcho-Communist

A literary deep dive into the themes of Murder Drones.

(note, this took way to long to write and is far from finished and I know this is self-serving but can you please if you read this reblog it)

Although the show very much is a critique of capitalism, I don't think that's its primary theme, instead I believe the primary theme of the show is Hubris which notably emerges throughout the show but this is about communism. First lets discuss the idea that the show critiques capitalism in its plot and theming.

The opening line to the show is "we are worker drones". 'Worker' is very much a common phrase used in Marxist ideas (most famously in the quote "Workers of the land, Unite!"). Worker in this context is used to refer to a member of the working class. The word 'drone' also creates this association with dull monotony mirroring the lives of the drones.

The second shot in the show is of a group of worker drones all identical in expression, height, eye colour, clothing—very much every detail. This is the first time we really see this idea that the WDs lack individuality which is another idea discussed by Karl Marx's Gattungswesen. This lack of individuality is very much an extreme example of what Marx calls Objective Alienation, the WDs have been deprived of there right to think in the name of windex maximizing profits for those who control the means of production (in this case humans).

The third shot (authors note, can't believe we're only 19 seconds into episode 1, this is going to take forever) we finally see the face of evil, a corporation in the form of its name superimposing over the scene; its happy, outdated style juxtaposes the cold, dreary reality the WDs are living through. I would go deeper into this but if you don't know how corporations tie into Marxism theory then you need to pick up a book.

The fourth shot is so full of small details I just have to give a screenshot to appreciate its subtlety.

Top left, you can see a WD working in a precarious position working environment, not much to mention because it's doing more to play as environmental story telling for the other parts of the scene. At the highest point of the shot, JCJenson logo almost like a title basically saying this is JCJenson and also the height can be viewed as a metaphor for their position in the hierarchy. To the signs right is the control room, the only area which is kept well lit, the control room is also were the highest authority present would mingle, good lighting is a luxury of the rich (the withholding of basic rights like food, shelter and [in this case] light is again a critique Marx makes against capitalism). Bottom right, a group of humans standing around doing very little standing around the destroyed body of a worker drone not stopping the ant like WDs walking ever closer or helping the WD clinging for there life in the top right of the screen. The lives and safety of the WDs is off little consequence to the humans which is the other side of Alienation, those in power stop viewing the workers as people and more as machines to be exploited; to stop production would be the greatest sin.

The fifth, sixth, seventh and eight shots, the culmination of the humans actions. In pursuit of production, the humans led to there own downfall, being blissfully unaware until it was too late and the greatest joke, the workers survived and didn't care. This very much mirrors a lot of modern criticisms of capitalism especially around the ideas of climate change. Knowing what we know after watching the show, that the core collapse was almost certainly no coincidence, instead likely a plot by WDs (specifically the Absolute Solver) then it fits into Marxist theory specifically around Proletariat Revolution which Marx states is the inevitability of capitalism.

The ninth shot, the most important which will be made incredibly evident once I show a picture.

Its a direct parallel to the fourth shot. Firstly, the orange colour has very much been lost for a cool blue which if you note has always been the colour associated with the workers throughout all of the previous scenes, its encapsulation shows the shift in power. The JCJenson logo replaced with a graffiti doodle (somewhat similar to the anarchists symbol). And the most obvious, the workers sitting in the control room, they are now in control while the humans lay dead below them. The results of this revolution though won't be made evident until the next shot so |: moving on.

(authors note. A MINUTE IN WOOO!)

The tenth shot, the WDs now are showing unique characteristics and identities! This is the emergence of Gattungswesen, remember that one word I mentioned before but didn't really talk about well here we are now. Gattungswesen refers to what Karl Marx thinks make humans human; Marx considers the idea that identity emerges from individuals is foolish instead ones identity emerges from there social relations which is exactly what we see in this opening scene.

"They themselves begin to distinguish themselves from animals as soon as they begin to produce their means of subsistence, a step which is conditioned by their physical organisation." - Karl Marx

Marx also considers the death of personal identity one of the evil components of capitalism.

At this point, I should start talking about the disassembly drones but there's too much to talk about and I'm tired because I didn't anticipate the opening minute being so jam packed with information so I'll instead continue by talking about the Worker Drone civilisation and then Uzi (author note, ughh bite me that's a lot of writing).

In the Worker Drones civilisation, two things are very notable—both neither a hierarchy nor a market seems to exist.

The only characters seen with some hierarchical power are Kahn and Teacher but even then the Teacher doesn't have governing power, instead his power comes from his title as Teacher. Kahn on the other hand is more complicated; he does hold real power as the leader of the Worker Drone Protection Corp (Author note. to tired and lazy to verify if that's correct); at the same time the nature of his power is vague, he is never shown to have any political power nor is a political system present.

The absence of a market or capitalist constructs (a market isn't strictly capitalist but for the discussion its close enough). The only example in the WD civilisation the only time we see anything similar is in episode 2 with the vending machine (which we don't see used), the sight of all the murders by Eldritch J. Without going deep into J, its hard to go deep into this but it can be very easily read as a metaphor for how capitalism weaponises consumption.

Overall, it seems most likely beyond any other alternative (not saying an alternative is possible), but with the backing of the anti-capitalist symbolism discussed earlier, the WDs very much live in a anarcho-communist Commune.

Finally, onto the subject matter of the title, Uzi. Lets go through all the different pieces of evidence that imply that Uzi is a communist.

To begin, she's anti-authoritarian. She is very rebellious in nature, not just against Teacher but also her father. The inciting incident of the entire story is when Uzi betrays her fathers authority to go and fight the Disassembly Drones (who very much represented the police and the will of the higher authority of JCJenson).

When talking to the deluded N, she tried to convince him to rebel through using the communist argument that they are living in Subjective Alienation (more commonly refered to as 'false consciousness'), they are unaware that the humans just see them as the means to an end. Later, N starts discussing other communist ideas with J, namely there is no difference between them and the WDs, instead they are very much the same.

(author note for future reference, WDs are Lumpenproletariats)

There is more to talk about, but I'm tired.

[salchat]

Dean-in-progress Part 2

More adventures in the continuing development of my latest Dean portrait!

In this stage, I did a little bit more work on his mouth and chin, which I wasn't happy with at all.

And then, enough's enough with the dark purple. I need to work on the light, which will give me a better idea of the form. I know if I put light in, I'll somehow see it differently. And maybe some brown mid-tones. Both of these ideas might be a mistake, of course! It might be more effective with just the dark purple on the purple paper. But I'm doing it anyway! Yay!

Oh. Okay. Well, I think that was the right thing to do. Especially the hint of brown on his lower lip. It think the brown might be good for kind of reflected light? For softening edges maybe and for bringing life to the colour scheme. Or it could, of course, go horribly wrong. But that's half the fun.

Let's do some more. And, for the next progress shot, I'll edit so that it looks more like what I actually see.

Well, I think this is making good progress. Am I satisfied with it as a finished portrait? Not remotely! And now (rubs hands together), now comes the stage that always reminds me of that bit in Amadeus, where Mozart's dictating the Confutatis of his Requiem to Salieri. No, I'm not comparing my artistic skill to Mozart's musical genius (snort, chortle), but as a teen I had a massive crush on Mozart (yes, really) and I loved that movie, even though a lot of it is dramatic licence. Anyway, I get to a stage in many of my drawings where the big chunkies and finger smudges aren't quite cutting it. And so I bring in the pencils! And it always makes me think of Salieri asking, 'That's it?" And Mozart replies, with a smirk, 'No. Now for the real fire." The pencils!

All these options... I think the Payne's grey, which is actually a dark purple, like the chunky pastel I've been using. And for something pretty bright and luminous, actually that pale pink one is usually effective.

But don't be thinking I'm going to be holding the pencils in a writing grip and getting all tiny and delicate and detailed. Oh no! That's just not me!

Mostly, I like to grab hold and scrub using an overhand grip with lots of pressure. The only time I really need to use a writing grip is when I want a really strong highlight in a very specific small area and if I stuck with the overhand grip, I'd probably either miss my mark, or more likely break the tip off. I do that all the time! There's lots of vague, light softening too, though, and that needs a looser grip, getting as much of the side of the pastel in contact with the paper as possible.

And here's my third main strategy, which sometimes ties me down too much to a photographic representation, but often is the way I spot errors, because after a while your eye just can't see them. I bring up my progress shot and the original reference alongside, like this:

My poor phone gets very confused, but look how easy it is to spot the glaring, obvious discrepancies! I mean, wtaf? For heaven's sake - what have I been doing? So, yeah, there are thing that look pretty okay, but that mouth! And that chin! Still not right, are they? And there's still not anywhere near enough Deanishness! I'm going to focus in on the eye, though, and see what I can do. And the reference won't enlarge, but if you do it in photo editor it will! Neat little trick! Aha!

And now some more work on his mouth and a general run-around with a soft skin-toned pastel to soften the edges. Or soften them in some places, because now I really need to think about which edges are hard and which are soft and how. It's a crucial stage and can make a massive difference. And I'm playing with his hair too, because playing with Dean's hair is so much fun.

So this is what I've got so far. Am I satisfied? No! I most certainly am not. It's getting there. But there are loads of things to improve on yet. And it's still not Deanish enough! It just isn't. Look back at the reference. His mouth and his eye in particular are expressing very familiar Deanisms, aren't they? Sadness, resignation, probably lots of internal negative thoughts - almost certainly in John Winchester's voice. And I haven't captured that. I'm not saying that in any 'oh no, I'm so bad!' way. I'm saying it with relish, because I'm going to keep plugging away until I can see that emotion and make it as real as possible. And I'm going to enjoy that process and disappear into it completely and get into an almost meditative state, where the world and my problems melt away.

But not tomorrow. Because tomorrow is chemo day and the one really big positive of chemo day is that there's so much hanging around that it's possible to get loads of fanfic written, which is another really great way (actually even more effective that drawing) of disappearing from this world entirely and living, for a while, with Sam and Dean and a tiny-Jack, and tomorrow I'll get to the bit where Cas pops up. Nice.

[princelylove]

Since a lot of recent requests have lacked manners, here’s how to submit a request to me, in steps. 

First step: Greet me. When you start a conversation with someone, do you just start talking? Maybe to a stranger on the street, but it’s not polite given the circumstances. You’re about to ask me to write something for you, why do you feel so comfortable not saying hello? Use basic manners. Show me the respect I deserve. Your request does not have to be perfect, but put some effort in.

I prefer to be addressed by “Prince” or “Your Highness.” You may use other titles, but you must keep it appropriate to my rank. Nothing lower than a prince’s, or I will lightly flick your wrist, or send you to the dungeon for a few days.

I can forgive mistakes in addressing me only if the effort is evidently there. Sometimes I am wrongfully addressed as ‘Your Grace,’ but I do not mind it because the respect is obviously there and they’re trying. An attempt is an attempt. I’ve answered requests with the wrong title before, and will likely do so again if other requirements are met. That does not mean that I prefer it, but I don’t exactly take it as malicious intent. 

Second step: Talk to me. This can be praise for my works, an off topic comment, or any thoughts you’d like to share.

I may be a stranger on the internet, but I write your porn for free, and don't exactly think I'm asking for much at all. Show some respect and do something for me. I like to be spoken to, even if it isn’t stroking my ego. Why would I open a blog that takes requests if I didn’t want to talk to people about my works? I could be somewhere else, or turn my inbox off entirely and only write what I want. 

I do not know why you would request something from me if my demeanor isn’t appealing to you, but I cannot and will not force you, you do not have to stroke my ego for me to answer your request. You just need to use your manners and at least speak to me a little. You can talk to me about your request.

An example of this is this anon's request, where they asked a question and elaborated, and were polite about it. I like it when anons elaborate like this anon did, you do not HAVE to speak about me when you send a request.

If you would like to play into my worship kink, spend some time talking about my works or my demeanor. Be specific, consistent, and try not to throw darts at a thesaurus. Perhaps this topic deserves a separate post, which I will make if someone requests it.

Third step: Say your request. 

Include a “Please” and “Thank you.” You are asking me for a favor. I do not have to respond to it, acknowledge it, or even read it in the first place. Be polite about it. “May I please request —” and “Could you please tell me your opinion of —” are fine ways to start whatever you’re about to talk to me about. “Please” and “Thank you” are very, very basic manners. I know I do not have to teach my peons how to speak when the majority of you are older than I am and very much so should know that.

I do not mind when anons prattle on in my inbox, but try to keep it within control. I cannot write for you what you have already written, but if you’re aiming for something specific, it’s better to tell me some details.

You can also ask a small question, like this anon. As long as you're polite, I don't mind the lack of a big message attached, but I do not want the majority of my inbox’s messages to be so small. Try to elaborate at least a little bit.

Fourth step: Send it in and wait. Sometimes I will let your request sit in my inbox for a while, as in up to or over a month, but if it's up to code, I'll get to it. If you're worried I deleted it, send another in and ask if it broke any rules of mine.

You cannot rush me. This is MY laptop, I'm not doing something on my laptop that I do not want to do. Checking if it's okay is fine, I will either post the original soon and delete the "Is it ok?" message or respond to the is it ok message if the original is taking some time.

I'm probably going to go through my inbox today and weed out the ones I don't want to give attention to. If you sent an ask that you think doesn't fit what I've just stated, or otherwise broke my rules, try again. I've got some older requests that are fine but I've just yet to get to, it is not personal. I tend to either answer an ask immediately or I'll take a month and a half.

If anything is confusing, send an ask for clarification.

[chibrary]

today in chontent: july 30th

source: motorsport.com & twitter series: 2014, karting

In 2014, Jules wrote a series of columns for Motorsport.com following his quest within F1:

"Starting today, Jules Bianchi will guide the readers of JA on F1 on a unique journey of discovery of Formula 1, as seen through the eyes of one of the best young driving talents on the world motorsport scene. Jules has been a driver with the Marussia F1 Team for a year and a half, fulfilling one of his boyhood dreams, to drive at the pinnacle of the sport. He has another dream to fulfill, one with a red tone to it; to drive for the famous Scuderia Ferrari. Since 2009 Jules has been part of the Ferrari Driver Academy and a few weeks ago he was called in to an official test at Silverstone for the Maranello team."

His first article was posted in July 2014, titled "Voyage to the centre of Formula 1":

Jules Bianchi writes: “Realizing your dreams is one of the most beautiful things that can happen to a person and I am happy to have fulfilled the biggest dream, which is to drive in F1. I have been dreaming of it since I was a kid but only when I started racing single seaters did I realize that my hopes could become a reality. If you had told me this would happen, when I was 13 years old, I would not have believed you.

But I’ve done it and I’m half way through my second season in the top category and I want to try to take all of you behind the scenes and show you my life and my journey, to show you what it means to be part of this special world, which seems so remote and unattainable.

Let's start by saying that to race in Formula 1 is something that gives me a lot of excitement: this is the first word that comes to mind. The second is professionalism: if you want to excel you have to be professional in every little detail and that is true for us drivers as much as for all those who work in the various roles. It 's something that I realized immediately; right from the first time I was able to see up close how Ferrari operates. Even at Marussia, although the scale of the operation is certainly different from the Scuderia, the level of professionalism is really high.

Ours is a very tough sport, where if you do not always give 100%, whatever the circumstances, you risk falling behind straight away. This means that you always need the utmost concentration, both when working on the track and when you are free from specific commitments, because you can never back off. This is why ' if I have to choose a third word to associate with Formula 1 I would say tiredness: not only physical - to drive these cars is not exactly a breeze and to do this job you have to work a lot on athletic training, even during the race weekend - but, more important, mental tiredness.

I never get bored by the routine; it 's true that the Grand Prix weekend is a bit like a theatre show, which you repeat in exactly he same format every time, in nineteen different venues. But I don’t mind this repetition at all.

The two-week summer break comes at just the right time. We’ve been on the go, travelling the world, pretty much since the end of January, when I started driving in the winter tests. But now we can kick back a little and try to recharge the batteries for the second half of the season.

In the last few races I could really see our guys in the pit garages beginning to feel fatigued and I too cannot wait to get a rest. I'm not planning anything special, not even to celebrate my 25th birthday on August 3; a few days at home in Geneva with the family and then a little sunshine with friends at the beach somewhere, but not to some far distant place with more time zone changes - I’ve had plenty of that already and more lies in wait for me from late August to late November.

When I have some free time I like to play sports with my friends. I always try to organize a small competition, either karts or playing squash or football: this is what I will be up to before restarting the engines at Spa, where we’ll race in the Belgian Grand Prix.

Of course I have some time now to think about what has happened in this first part of the season because it is not that you can completely clear Formula 1 out of your head, even on vacation.

I'm happy with how things have gone so far: we have made a big step forward compared to last year and you can begin to see the results. The points finish in Monte Carlo, with ninth place was definitely the best moment and it was important to be able to get into Q2 twice (the second part of qualifying for the top 16 cars) in Silverstone and a few days ago at the Hungaroring: it means that we are approaching the core group even though the distance is still quite wide.

The worst day? That’s an easy one - Sunday in Montreal where I was unable to complete even the first lap, boy what a shame ..

Another beautiful moment was the Silverstone test with Ferrari. Putting on those scarlet overalls with the Prancing Horse on the chest is always an unbelievable feeling, as is climbing into the cockpit. I’ve done it before but the emotion is very powerful, very beautiful.

For me Ferrari is like a second family and to drive full time with that Prancing Horse remains my goal, my ultimate dream.

Will I ever get to realize that dream? I don’t know. But given that I have fulfilled my first goal of driving in F1, why not aspire to fulfilling the even bigger dream?

Until next time..

Jules

[sweet-sakura-soju]

Hiya! I hope your doing well! <33

I was wondering maybe if you chould write some headcanons with Oz from monster prom having a short chubbyf! s/o

I was thinking the s/o whould be like a cupid type monster:)

summary-

-just like the request is! Oz with a short and chubby f! s/o, w a side of ✨cupid magic✨

warnings-

a whole lotta corndog shit lmao

as well as fluff, language, and a little bit of body dysphoria at the end!

A/N:

I FUCKING LOVE THIS OH MY FOG SJFNSNFNSNGN THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING THIS I LITERALLY SCREECHED WHEN I- Anyways!! Yes!! Thank you!! Here you go!! (I also added some general oz in a relationship headcannons, I hope you don’t mind!!)

alright

let’s go

He initially convinced himself that he just thought you were really cool

Or maybe that you accidentally spelled him

Became friends with you to make it easier on himself (and to get rid of the weird butterflies in his stomach)

And by him I mean Polly saw you and immediately swooped you into the friend group

When he first realized he liked you, he immediately was like “ah shit how do I fix this-“

Psyched himself out of asking you out, in his eyes you were (and still are) an angel sent from the heavens and is absolutely infatuated by your entire existence, he really has loved you since day one

Eventually asked you out. (Brian coerced him into doing so, Vera and Polly helped him gain confidence)

He is absolutely OBSESSED w the fact that you got your lil love magic it’s adorable

“Babe can you use it on me?”

“You already love me silly”

“Okay and?”

Insists that when you two are cuddling his head is resting on your lap and refuses to move

“Oz honey pls I need to go to class”

“mphfrmhumph. mrphnphafump.” -Oz, using your thighs as pillows

He’s not very confrontational in a direct way but if anyone dares to make a negative comment on your body

Listen man he’s an ageless deity made from others fear, do I need to go into detail?

He has all of your measurements memorized so when he’s out shopping he can swing by your favorite store and pick out anything he thinks you’d like

“Oz. This is the third time this-“

“Do you want me to re-“

“No shut up I love it”

His love language is all of the above, but he mainly loves giving you gifts and physical touch. He’s more subtle about it in public, linking pinkies, one hand on the small of your back, having his body turned towards you, etc.

Oh duh and resting his chin on your head bc awww you’re so short

Behind closed doors he’s a lot more affectionate

Always touching you. Can’t keep his hands to himself.

Arms fully around your waist, shoulder, tucking his face into the crook of your neck, kisses e v e r y w h e r e

You literally need to pry him off of you

Don’t get me started on his little shadows/phobias

One time they tried to spook you pre-relationship

You put a love spell on them (with his consent ofc)

It backfired. They’re absolutely obsessed with you. They love you. Arguably more than Oz.

Jk

He’d fight them for you. He means that. I mean that. It’s a well-known fact.

He’ll lend you his hoodies if you’re into that sort of thing, they fit almost perfectly if you’re stealing one of the ones that are his size

If you like big hoodies he will deliberately go out and get hoodies that are bigger than what he prefers specifically for you to steal

Acts annoyed bc he knows you love it

He can also read you like a BOOK. It’s almost unnerving

“..[y/n] why are you so anxious?? Can I help??”

He saw you blink in an abnormal way

He also understands what it’s like to be insecure about certain parts of himself so if/when he finds out you’re feeling insecure he unlocks his full boyfriend potential

His love and affection borderline competes w Scott’s

intense loving™

On the really bad days he’ll go out of his way to attempt to make you see yourself the way he sees you

Every part of you is perfect in his eyes

And he means that every time he says it

“[y/n], love spell or not, you’re flawless in my eyes. I’m in love with every part of you, even on the days that you don’t show yourself the love I have for you. Why would the person that’s supposed to make others have unconditional love for each other be any less worthy of love from themself?”

All of his awkward and dorkiness aside, he’s really just out here trying to be the best monster he can be for you, through thick and thin.

A/N #2-

I went a little overboard, sorry!! I hope this is what you were thinking of when you requested! I had a lot of fun writing this, so thank you for requesting!

[cheapsweets]

The self-sacrificing Rubkawat

My response to this week’s BestiaryPosting challenge, from @maniculum (thanks again for running these!)

Initial pencil sketch, then lines in Pental brush pen, and colours with Derwent inktense paint. The brush pen is really fun to use, and you can produce some interesting effects and lovely transitions between thin and thick lines... I think I need some more practice! 😅 I would have loved to get in some more fine details on the chicks, but I've enjoyed getting to grips with the pen a bit more, even if a lot of that is learning what I still have to get better at! On the plus side, it proved to be completely waterfast (particularly compared to my fountain pen inks), which worked nicely with the concept I had.

You can also see where I started painting the water a slightly deeper colour, then changed my mind and watered down the paint a lot more. We'll just say that bit's deeper or something, right? 😉

Reasoning below the cut...

"The Rubkawat is a bird of Egypt, living in the wilderness of the River Nile, from which it gets its name. It is devoted to its young. When it gives birth and the young begin to grow, they strike their parents in the face. But their parents, striking back, kill them. On the third day, however, the mother-bird, with a blow to her flank, opens up her side and lies on her young and lets her blood pour over the bodies of the dead, and so raises them from the dead."

Okay, so I'm pretty much 100% sure that I know what this creature is (I'll be very surprised if I'm wrong, that is some pretty specific behavious described there), so I was trying really hard not to let that knowledge influence my drawing. We know it's a water bird (I also read the description similar to @silverhart-makes-art and wondered whether it gave live birth, but wasn't sure how to represent this short of having no broken eggshells in the nest). As such, we've again got a generic-ish looking water bird, went with a white colour partially to proovide contrast with the other main colour, and partially because I associate Egypt with white birds (Egyptian vulture, ibis...), as well as a lot of water birds such as egrets.

We have a pointy but reasonably broad beak because we need something that can do some damage 😟 and I gave it some eyebrows/tufts of feather above its eyes as a bit of little egret swag - there were originally only meant to be two tufts, but after I drew them in with the brush pen I realised the perspective was off, so I added two more to even it out :D

The nest is partially surrounded by water, and we have some reeds to reflect that the Rubkawat is probably nesting in the marshes of the river Nile.

So, we have a red patch on the mother's cheek where the chicks pecked at her three days earlier, on her beak where she's opened up her side, and... well, I didn't want to go too realisitic, hence the blood flowing from the wound and filling up the whole of the inside of the nest, covering the chicks (apart from their eyes).

Most of my chicks from previous challenges have been at more of a distance - as noted above, I would have liked to reliably get some finer lines in there, but we do have some more detail. Now, @coolest-capybara mentioned to me that she thought my chicks reminded her of Woodstock from the Peanuts comics, and this isn't something that had ever occurred to me, but it's also nothing I can deny! 😆 We have some small, fuzzy (and if we're honest, probably quite wet and sticky now...) chicks clambering to their feet, flopping around and yelling now they've been resurrected.

"It is also a characteristic of this bird, they say, that it always suffers from thinness, and that whatever it swallows, it digests immediately, because its stomach has no separate pocket in which to retain food. Food does not fatten its body, therefore, but only sustains it and gives it strength."

Slightly tricky one given than 90% of a bird is floof and feathers... If the creature is the one I suspect it is, I can see how this particular myth originated, but we're not going there! I probably could have made the mother bird a bit thinner, but I think I was focused more on the other aspects of the description and of making her bird-shaped. Things to consider for the future 🙂

[josefavomjaaga]

The marriage of Louis Bonaparte and Hortense de Beauharnais is usually just labeled some version of "bad" and not many details beyond some basics of it was arranged against both of their wills, during the few years he was King of Holland she preferred Paris to Amsterdam and also she was unfaithful. Just wondering what were specifics on what wasn't working between through the years and why?

Hortense, mostly. Okay, that was highly unfair.

I've gotten two questions related to Louis Bonaparte recently so I'll randomly pick this topic first. Sorry again (as always) for the long wait.

Figuring out who is "at fault" when two human beings turn out to just not be compatible is not easy anyway. But in this case, there's the additional problem of discerning the sources. While one side (Louis) has left some very sober and impersonal memoirs about his time as king of Holland, mostly treating political events, the other (Hortense) spent two decades, one third of her life, writing, editing and publishing all sort of media in her own favour, usually portraying herself as the innocent victim of jealousy and evil propaganda, whose personal enemies envied her all her perfect virtues.

Most people seem to believe her, so my opinion will be highly unpopular. But I keep thinking something was very, very wrong with Hortense.

It starts with the marriage plans. Hortense spends a lot of time on the topic in her memoirs (after having spent a lot of time listing the names of her potential suitors and random incidents of receiving admiration that embarrassed her oh-so-very-much... like a hunter lines up trophies on a wall). She clearly states that her mother pushed her into the marriage because Josephine could not give Bonaparte any children and Hortense's first son would need to become Napoleon's heir - otherwise the Bonaparte family would sooner or later convince Napoleon to divorce. - Except that in the Archives Nationales de France there is a manuscript, written by Hortense herself for tsar Alexander in 1814, in which she clearly states that she only ever heard of the possibility of divorce much later, when Louis refused to give up their first child to the First Consul.

And yet: if it's true that after Napoleon's return from Egypt Josephine and her kids had to spend a night on their knees in front of Napoleon's bedroom door - would the possibility of a divorce not have been around since, like, ever?

It's a small detail but I guess it shows how everybody worked on muddying the waters. Hortense is clearly lying at some point, but is it to Alexander or in her memoirs?

Add to that all the propaganda from all sides (pro-Napoleon, but from the Bonaparte side, often vilifying or ridiculing the Beauharnais side, pro-Bourbon, pro-republic) and the constant clan squabbles resulting in accusations and counter-accusations, and you have one tangled web to catch a lot of stories and very little truth.

There is also the problem of Louis' health issues that must have played a huge role in this marriage. I cannot access Dutch sources which might be the best in Louis Bonaparte's case, so I've mostly stuck to English texts. The nature of Louis' illness seems to be utterly unclear, I've read about anything from gout to syphilis (the latter I'm tempted to rule out due to how long he lived and him not having infected Hortense). I've also seen authors claim that Louis was utterly unable to father children, in which case half of the motivations ascribed to him in Hortense's memoirs do not work. I've seen mentioned that some of the treatments Louis had to undergo were so disgusting that Hortense could not bear them.

Very muddy waters.

So I'll try to make this short from here before I go off on yet another tangent: It seems pretty clear that in the beginning, it is Hortense rejecting Louis, who clearly does not fit her romantic notions of knight in shining armour. In typical Madame-Campan's-bride-school-for-the-rich-and-famous fashion, I might add (see Aglaé Auguié-Ney). Baylac's biography of Hortense cites several letters in which Louis almost begs for a sign of attention from his young wife, while he's away taking the waters.

He will not get them. Instead, Hortense will return to her mother and the court of First Consul Bonaparte and continue to play the role of "First Daughter" of France at the very first occasion, just like she would occasionally return to Madame Campan's school and play teacher's pet again. Hortense seems to have had the constant need to place herself at the center of attention, to outshine every (female) rival. I'm not sure of the underlying reason but the two siblings may have suffered from a similar problem and have chosen diametrically opposed strategies to cope: Eugène basically erasing himself, Hortense making everything about herself.

The closer you (or at least I 😗) look at her memoirs, the more pettiness and superficialty there is in her reasoning and the less I tend to believe in her accusations against Louis.

That being said, I do not think a husband like Louis, morose, suffering from chronical pain and probably highly irritable because of it, with the additional mental baggage of very patriarchal Corsican customs, did help the situation in the least! Hortense had grown up in Revolutionary Paris, around the Talliens, Barras, etc., for her extra-marital affairs surely were nothing to write home about. While Louis may have wanted to give this arranged marriage a true chance, Hortense probably never even planned to. She was giving birth to sons, that was what she had been hired to do. So what? The father mattered little.

Regarding that: There were (possibly unfounded) rumours about who the father of Hortense's first son was. The second generally seems to have been accepted as Louis' (which implies that he must have been able to father children). The third (future Napoleon III) was so obviously not Louis' that people in Paris openly made songs about it, and it caused the final breakup between Louis and Hortense. Modern-day scientists have verified through DNA tests that Napoleon III and Napoleon I were not blood-related (which has then caused a discussion if possibly Louis had not been fathered by Carlos, because surely Letizia was a lot more probable a culprit than Hortense... I digress again).

As usual, I've probably not really said much in my long blabbering post. (Except that I don't like Hortense.) The fairest answer would probably be: I do not know, and I'm not sure anybody has ever really tried to figure it out. Hortense was a highly independent and - in my opinion - extremely self-centered person, and Louis a man suffering from chronical pains and often humiliation by his wife's behaviour. Both might have needed help, physically and mentally

[in-a-slanted-outhouse]

also! i think ocd five in general is a very neat concept, there’s some headcanons i have for him that i didn’t even realize are ocd symptoms until now. since ocd and anxiety are linked, do you think you’ll touch on that topic as well? i’d also love to just heard your thoughts on how it’d affect his brain :)

I read both questions before responding so I kind of already touched on this in this post but I will go into it in more detail here

I definitely think that Five has anxiety and I think that both his OCD and anxiety are intertwined but there are also ways that his anxiety manifests outside of OCD and that’s general day to day life stuff. I think Five would find a lot of anxiety around social interaction. I think Five would struggle with interacting with his siblings. He got better in the third season but it sort of fell apart at the end when they all walked away. There’s quite a significant wedge between Five and his siblings and I think he’d have a lot of anxiety around trying to make himself fit into family

During season three his relationship with people such as Klaus improves. He has a deep discussion with Viktor and he definitely becomes a lot more friendly with Lila. They have the wedding and they all have fun together and they’re probably at a point where Five feels like he is fitting in with gang a little better. He does his whole wedding speech which he remembers being horrible but the rest of them talk about him being a big old softy and they joke about it and Lila even tried to hug him but at the end of season three it all sort of falls apart. There’s a lot of tension between Allison and Five specifically. Luther grabs ahold of Five and blames him for Sloane disappearing and everyone except from Viktor walks away from him. That isn’t necessarily because of Five specifically but it could be something that he internalises as being his fault. Luther immediately blames him for something and then they all walk away. He’s supposed to be the time travel expert and everything has gotten all fucked up again and I would be surprised if he ended up blaming himself for that

In this au Five ends up going to live with Lila and Diego but he has a lot of anxiety around trying to make sure that he slots into the family well enough. Lila and Diego are the ones that insist that Five stays because it’s clear that he’s not doing very fell by himself. He’s drinking; he’s sleeping rough; he hasn’t changed clothes in like a month. He was clearly having a shit time so they decide to keep him around but despite the fact that they want him to stay he still feels like the part that doesn’t fit. He still waits to be rejected or blamed for things that aren’t his fault. He has anxiety around making sure that he comes across as someone that his siblings and Lila will like and keeping it that way. He has a lot of anxiety around it all suddenly falling apart like things have before

When he finds out that Lila’s pregnant it brings out a whole other brand of anxiety for him. He’s worried that something might happen to her. He’s worried Diego might get mad at him if something happens to her. He’s worried about being a good uncle. He’s worried about this very small and very delicate family member entering his life. What if he hurts the baby? What if he makes a mistake and Diego and Lila throw him out? What if Lila or the baby die and Diego becomes estranged the way that Allison has?

He’s constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. He’s used to things going wrong and living the worst case scenario. He doesn’t know any other way of living so he’s not used to things being so normal and it makes him really anxious to lose it. He hasn’t got all his siblings but he has a few of them and they’re happy and accepting of him and he really really cannot bare the thought of losing that little bit of peace and love he’s managed to accumulate. It’s terribly anxiety inducing and terribly isolating for him but he learns to live. And with help and support from Lila specifically he learns to get better

[spotsupstuff]

Hi I'm back again

Sorry for any bad takes, while I've done lore dives for other media in the past I've never hyperfixated as much as I have with Rain World. The complete and total void of information about so many things in this game has driven me to the brink of insanity so every little detail I notice I'm like "ah what if this is actually important and lore related and mmm wild speculation"

Also I fricking feel like I'm apologizing way too much. I absolutely refuse to apologize for having my weird-ass speculations, but I will apologize for dumping all of my unedited speculative rambles in your inbox. As I said tell me to shut up at any time I don't want to to be annoying or anything also I'm probably overthinking this damn it talking to people is hard

(And absolutely PLEASE give your opinions!!!! The whole reason I'm dumping my stupid ramblings in your inbox is because you have the COOLEST lore and being able to rant about my stupid theories and hear some of your theories and ideas in exchange-- shbddhgbjksttd I'm having too much fun)

What you said about artistic choice and stuff makes total sense-- I haven't really drawn ancients except for some stupid little doodles (and yeah, their hair is hard. the little circles make way more sense as 'shape defining artistic feature' rather than 'possible lore detail') and I have no idea what I'm doing anyways BUT I am going to offer a very small and completely nonsensical defense for my tentacle-hair-bone-thing theory cause I honestly just think it would be funny if they had cactus skulls

the holy grail of ancient imagery returns

that one specific tentacle. it looks like it pokes straight up before flopping over. I'm reaaaally grasping at straws now lol

Different topic-- I absolutely think that the ancients practiced some form of limb-binding. The difference in feet sizes between some of the images of them, the cloth wrappings, the fact that iterators don't (canonically) have 'feet' feet... I also think some ancients may have done the same to their hands? I mean, look at the karma 4 mural. That dude has weird hands. And feet. And way too many tits. Ancients are just fricking weird.

But yeah if any of my theories or thought trains or anything are weird or don't make sense just know I have no clue what I'm doing, I'm just throwing stuff at the walls and hoping some of it sticks haha

(Join me, next time, for 'Why Ancients Really Liked Birds~~')

yea, u r apologizing too fuckin much!!! -baps you with a newspaper- lord in heaven... /lh not sayin by this that u do annoy me- but i'd suggest makin these into posts n throwin em into the main tag rather than yeetin 'em all at my inbox! so more peeps can see 'em n such, you might find more people with neat opinions, who knows. but also thank you for finding my stuff that cool jgsdlkmcklsdmgklsd

GJKSDLKLMD I CAN,,, REFUTE THAT AS WELL BUT I WILL TELL YOU THIS: if you find it funny then that is all the reason you need for the thing being a canon tidbit for your stuff. a lot of my lore building comes from "wouldn't it be funny if..." and then committing to it

oh they absolutely Are doing some fucked up binding. it would make a lot of sense if Videocult implemented that- since they are already taking inspiration from Buddhism, it would make sense for them to jump into China n other surrounding cultures to look for inspiration for fucked up aspects a culture can enforce and then spin it out into interesting lore for a game. so from Chinese feet binding we get to multiple body parts binding (stars above, sin two mural the ancient's on top feet... it never hit how Tiny those are. also who da FUCK IS HAVING SEX IN SNEAKERS, GODDAMMIT. WHAT IS THIS BITCH.)

the hands i like to blame on religious mutilation and the fuckin... third n fourth "tits" are just fat storage- the upper pair are the proper tits in the sense that they are the muscles that move the arms. but oh how i adore it when people give four boobs to their Ancient designs it's so funny to me... praise the boobification

n tsk, aaaaaarhg, "weird"... that's the basis for the best stuff. this is an alien world, anything goes. the more fucked up it is the better it will be (-gestures to face tentacles n the back gills of my interpretations-)

[writerfae]

I am here to fully encourage the Christmas movie au

The third act breakup happens. Tis the damn season by Taylor Swift starts playing

Also it needs a lot of cheese hollydays cliches like snow angles and hot chocho or something

Just so you know, I am now more obsessed with this au than ever and it’s entirely your and @deadlycupid ‘s fault (saying that very affectionately but also how dare you)

Anyways.

First off, I’m really here for the Taylor Swift song playing. Actually, another song of hers, Christmas Tree Farm, would be perfect for this au and you’ll see why.

(I’m still working on plot details and making everything make sense, but the basic storyline is set.)

So Talon is our typical business man from a big city, working for his father’s company. Also, his family is literally rich.

And Talon for some business reasons gets send to one of those small towns that are very much obsessed with Christmas. And he’s not happy about it.

It’s cold, it’s in the middle of nowhere and he’s not really the Christmas type of guy anymore, since he and his dad are always busy with the business.

So at first he’s not really thrilled and he keeps complaining to Halea (who here is his best friend) over the phone all the time. And then he (quite literally) runs into Aiden.

Aiden is a true small town boy and works at - you guessed it - the local Christmas tree farm, which is the pride of the city. (He most likely even owns this place, idk yet.) He’s very helpful and pretty beloved by the people.

Him and Talon do not have a good start though, their meeting ends with them bickering and Talon being as annoyed as ever.

The next day Talon seeks out a Café. Coincidentally, Aiden is also there. He helps out at the Café that belongs to his best friend (Maya) whenever things get busy around Christmas.

Nice guy that he is he apologizes to Talon about the day before by giving him a free drink and the two settle on starting anew.

That’s when the whole plot line of getting to know each other starts. Aiden shows him around town and Talon visits the farm and the two get closer.

Aiden is set on showing Talon how wonderful Christmas can be and Talon starts to grow pretty fond of it - and pretty fond of Aiden too.

Which already leads to obstacle number one: Talon (with a little help of Halea) realizes he has a crush on Aiden, but he is convinced that Aiden is dating Maya (even though he’s obviously not).

This misunderstanding gets solved after a while though and the two kiss. And things go great from there on. Until we reach obstacle number two.

Now this is not completely worked out yet, but I had the following idea (that just needs to be molded a bit):

So I was thinking that maybe Aiden’s family (or his boss if they wouldn’t own the farm) is at risk of losing their farm land, be it cause of a lack of money/some debt or just someone wanting to bully them off of the land.

And Talon’s family company is involved in that. Actually, Talon was send there specifically to get Aiden’s family to sell the property, one way or another.

And one day shortly before Christmas Aiden finds out about it and thinks Talon only used him, so that’s when the third act breakup you mentioned happens.

Aiden doesn’t want to see him anymore and so Talon (almost?) leaves. But something holds him back and he decided to chase after Aiden, convincing him that he wasn’t using him.

They make up but there’s still the problem with Aiden losing the farm. So Talon steps in, helping him out. In the end he ends up buying the farm himself, so that Aiden can stay. Aiden wants to pay him back eventually and Talon agrees to that to not hurt his pride (it ends up not being a problem anymore though cause years after he story they get married anyway)

And then they can celebrate Christmas on the farm and everyone is happy! And Talon of course has to come visit from time to time to be with his boyfriend “check if Aiden is looking after the farm correctly”

THE END (not the end of this ask tho cause I have more ideas to share)

Cute and cheesy Christmas movie/romance movie ideas for the story (in no particular order):

Aiden playing in the snow with children from the town

him and Talon getting dragged into/having a snowball fight

little Christmas market in the town and at the Christmas tree farm

drinking hot cider/hot chocolate like all the time

baking cookies escalating into a flour battle

feeding each other chocolate

talking about how they used to celebrate Christmas with their family and getting sad about things but being like they used to

Talon running into Aiden and Maya being overly affectionate or comforting one another and thinking “oh they definitely date”

Talon seeing Aiden chop wood and running straight into a Christmas tree

Aiden helping a little kid finding their ideal tree for Christmas being all sweet to them

Aiden showing Talon around town

it’s starting to snow in a very romantic coded moment

Talon getting talked into singing for some people from the village after they find out he’s got musical talent

of course decorating the Christmas tree

also at least one mistletoe scene I bet

“fairy lights make you look even more pretty”

One of them slipping on snow or something and the other catching him

ice skating maybe?

Christmas dinner. Also Aiden cooking for Talon cause he’s a godly cook

Feel free to add on if you want xD

But yeah that’s it do far. Already pretty cliche and cheesy but that’s how I intend it to be. Absolutely in love with this.