#it's not done yet but hopefully soon. next week maybe

[layla-carstairs]

current status of the James Essay 😁😁

[starbuck]

as someone who is prone to having capital F Freak-outs over life things not happening fast enough or the way i want them to, the ability to learn has really kept me in check. i had been in a HORRENDOUS mood all morning, but i got home, had a proper meal, sent a couple emails i was procrastinating on, did some language learning, started reading a new book, and messed around on the guitar for a bit and now i’m completely calm.

[skipper1331]

Secret (2) // Alexia Putellas

| Part 1 | Part 3 | Part 4 | extra |

She didn‘t try to follow you.

She didn‘t try to text or call you.

She didn‘t try to fight for you.

She let you.

She let you walk through that door.

She let you go.

They say that you only really appreciate something when it is no longer there - she understood that now. It never occurred to her how terrible it must have been for you to be her "secret," even if she never wanted it that way.

Plagued by the fear of what others would think or what would happen, she dreamed of a love without worries and anxiety; in her eyes, this love only happened behind closed doors. She didn't realize how bad it actually was for you, even though she knew exactly that you wanted a typical romance book love story. She didn't deserve you and even less deserved that you had put up with her in secret for so long.

You, on the other hand, were caught up in your anger. You had put up with this secrecy for over a year, but a limit had been crossed - your heart ached just in her presence.

She had managed to nestle herself in your heart with her charming smile, her sparkling eyes and her elegant but captivating nature. She was Alexia Putellas, of course she had done it. She could do anything when she set her mind to. She had won the Ballon D‘or twice, the World Cup and dozens of other trophies and titles - only the title of calling you her wife, she hadn't managed.

In the nights where she couldn‘t sleep, she had dreamed of marrying you - you were different. Any feelings she knew before no longer existed. It was only you.

And you were no longer hers.

-

After your break up with the Catalonian, your motivation started to rise again as the weight you had been carrying in your heart and on your shoulders wasn‘t there anymore. You went out with your friends, explored the city a bit more and focused on yourself. You deserved to be happy and you knew that. You treated yourself with new shoes (shoes you had been eyeing for awhile) and finally an own Netflix account.

In training, you went to your absolute limits, playing wonderfully and yet having fun - the love to the sport filled your veins again.

You were glowing - the new look suited you.

But when you were at home, it was different. Two people met at the doorstep. Person 1 who glowed and person 2 who sulked. As soon as the threshold was crossed, personality 2 took over your body, mind and soul. Your broken heart showed itself. You hadn't managed to remove the second toothbrush in your bathroom or empty Alexia’s drawer yet. Her clothes were yours too, you wore them as soon as personality 2 needed the comfort which was needed constantly.

You cried.

You screamed into your pillow.

You ate ice cream, chocolate, anything.

Watched sad shows and movies.

And cried more.

Nobody seemed to notice your switch of personality - who should?

No one knew that you and Alexia used to be a couple..

No one knew that your heart was broken..

I‘m capable of handling that on my own.

I‘m an independent woman.

..except one person: Alba.

unknown

hey, it‘s Alba.

Ale told me what happened.

If you need someone to talk to (a friend), feel free to message me:)

You appreciated that she sent you a message, her intention probably kindhearted but she was Alexia‘s sister after all.

You replied with 'thank you' and sort of an appreciation.

Time would heal your wounds. Hopefully.

In the nexts weeks, you focused on the upcoming uwcl matches and getting enough recovery after your training sessions.

You like to think that you didn‘t even look at Alexia but you knew better than that. She‘s Alexia and breathtaking, you could not not look at her.

But you tried your hardest not to give in when she looked at you, looking at you with those sad doe eyes. Sometimes it seemed like she wanted to approach you or even say something yet she never did, she stayed silent.

Was it wrong to hope for her approach? That she would just kiss you in the middle of the pitch?

Maybe it was wrong but you couldn’t help it. You loved her and you knew she loved you too. And love, no matter how much you want it sometimes, doesn't just disappear. It always leaves its mark.

Added to that, Alexia wasn‘t just anybody - she was the first person with whom you truly felt the butterflies and every cheesy book describing feeling.

She could have been your greatest love story - the love story you always wished for.

-

"Good luck" Alexia said, her hand brushing against yours as she walked past you.

She smiled a bit, immediately looking away, joining Aitana and Keira.

"Good luck" you whispered back, surprised that she had spoken to you, nonetheless kindly accepting that she did.

The first leg against Chelsea went alright, Aitana opened the score as you made it 2-0, 5 minutes before the ref blew her whistle.

You shook hands with each opponent and talking to your friends for a bit.

"Oh please, I’m your biggest fan, swap your jersey with me" the dramatic voice of Niamh Charles shrilled through the conversation you were having with Guro and Erin. You laughed, Niamh‘s arm around your shoulder, "oh please, please" she fake cried, the girl nothing but laughter in her voice.

"Aren‘t the dozens of my jersey enough?" you joined, laughing.

It was an unspoken rule whenever Niamh and you faced each other to swap jerseys as the two of you had met in the u-teams, becoming friends in an instant and being close friends ever since.

"Nah, babe, you know I can never get enough of you" she rolled her eyes, pressing a sloppy kiss to cheek.

Disgusted, you wiped it off and shoved her away.

Alexia watched the scene in front of her with fire in her eyes, oh how she hated Niamh - the green eyed monster talking.

"Jealous?" the soft voice of Ingrid pulled her back to reality.

"¿Que? No! I’m not jealous" Alexia’s accent was thick, her voice raspy and mind completely somewhere else.

"You should ask her out, I think she likes you" the Norse proposed, tapping the Catalonians shoulder as she walked to Frido, leaving the captain alone.

Ale had always suspected that Fridolina and Ingrid knew about the two of you because they were your best friends, but that wasn't the case. Alexia realized that only now since Ingrid had suggested asking you out - you had always been honest and respectful with her wishes - accepting them, even though they broke your heart day by day.

No one knew that you were more than just teammates.

They were clueless.

You were amazing.

And she was stupid - stupid to think that you would tell anyone when you hadn't even told your best friends and stupid for letting you go.

-

The second leg ended up in 2-1, 4-1 on average which meant that Barcelona would play in the Champions League final.

You were thrilled when the ref blew his whistle, so happy about the fact that you had the chance to win the trophy.

On the other hand, you felt bad for the Chelsea players, they had given everything as they tried their best to win. Unfortunately for them, it wasn‘t enough. You approached Niamh who had tears in her eyes, pulling her in a hug. You comforted her the best you could but loosing an important match would sting for awhile, no matter how much you praised the defender for her game.

"You know, I will burn your jersey at home" the defender chuckled, nonetheless taking her jersey off while you did the same - swap.

"That‘s only fair" you grinned, wearing now the blue shirt.

Once again, Alexia glared at Niamh, hating the fact that you were wearing 'Charles 21' on the back instead of 'Alexia 11' or 'Putellas and your number' but she knew it was her own fault.

If she had just listened to you or introduced you as her girlfriend with such pride right from the start then she wouldn't be in the situation of a broken heart and jealousy.

She loved you and was forever sorry for hiding and neglecting you.

You deserved better than that, way better.

-

Winning the champions league felt euphoric.

The final match had been intense, both sides fighting for goals as the ref showed many yellows cards.

But Barcelona did it, they had done the unthinkable - beating Lyon and taking their revenge.

It didn‘t matter that the score was only 1-0. That one goal meant more than anything to everybody of the team. You felt so much pride and joy, the stadium chanting while you received your medals and lifting the trophy.

You wanted to cherish this moment forever.

"I‘m proud of you" la reina stated as she stood next to you. You didn’t even notice that she had approached you.

"Thank you, Ale, it means a lot" you smiled at the midfielder. Your smile was so genuine and wide, your eyes sparkly and shiny - you looked so beautiful, in Alexia’s eyes.

She couldn’t help but kiss your forehead.

You let her.

Her lips lingered for a moment, pulling back with rosy cheeks before she walked to her mother and sister who were waiting in the stands.

Your eyes followed the Catalonian, her mother hugging her tightly while Alba looked in the direction Ale came from - she saw you and waved.

-

Back in Barcelona, the team + family/ friends went out to celebrate. Drinks were getting drowned, songs were being yelled and dance moves were being showed. The vibe and mood was amazing, everybody letting loose after the last few intense weeks.

You couldn’t remember how many drinks you‘ve had but it was a good amount - each of them delicious.

Making your way over to the bar, you ordered yet another drink. You wouldn’t say you were drunk per se but you also weren’t sober anymore.

Nobody was, or cared.

You won the champions league, you were allowed to party.

While you waited for your drink, a familiar unfamiliar voice talked to you, "hola"

you turned to the side, seeing the younger Putellas standing next to you.

"hi" you replied.

"Congratulations! Your goal was amazing" she beamed while you smiled and mumbled a thanks. "my sister can be an ass, you know? Oh yeah, you do." she giggled at her own joke - she clearly wasn‘t sober either, "but she loves you. She‘s been sulking for weeks."

You tried to listen the best you could, questioning if you would remember the conversation in the morning.

"She even told mamá about you and how she fucked things up"

You gasped, "no way! She talked about me? I‘m so shocked"

The sister laughed, playfully hitting your chest as you joined her laughter - eyes watching the two of you.

"You should make her jealous"

"Yeah, sure" you replied, rolling your eyes, "as if Ale‘s jealous"

"More than you think. She doesn’t like your friend Charles, for example. 'she should wear my name' blah blah blah" Alba explained, your mind spinning for several reasons.

"How should I make her jealous then?"

"Easy. Follow me" the girl grabbed your arm, pulling you on the dance floor, "hey! my drink" you grumbled, the Putellas sister ignoring you.

She turned around, looping her arms around your waist as yours went around her neck. You followed Alba‘s lead, Shakira blasting through the speakers. Looking around, you searched for Alexia. It didn‘t take long to find those pretty eyes who looked nothing but angry. Her jaw was clenched, hands balled into fists as she shifted uncomfortably around.

She was not enjoying the show.

"Bet she‘ll be here in 3…" Alba leaned in, "2…." as you did the same, "1…"

Strong hands on your hips pulled you away, a protective arm smacking around your waist, Alexia glaring at her sister - so much fire in her eyes, "you‘re allowed to look but do not touch what’s mine" she growled, "now leave" her voice was stern and firm. Your ex girlfriend stood now in front of you, looking at you, checking you out while Alba walked away, winking at you.

"You look nice" the girl smiled charmingly, the green eyed monster completely gone.

"What was that?!"

"I said you looked-"

"No. Do not touch what’s mine?!" you mocked, your heart secretly racing at her possessiveness.

"I won‘t let her kiss you!" her voice was raised, jealousy pumping through her veins again, "I‘m the only one who will do so" the thought of you ever touching, kissing, loving someone else made Alexia furios.

She loved you.

"Do you understand me?"

The alcohol in Ale‘s system made her bold, confident and possessive - she didn‘t care who was watching or listening. All she cared about was you.

You had never seen her like that before - openly jealous, with her hands on your hips and chests touching in public - it was hot. She was hot.

"Yes, I do" you replied, somehow starstruck.

"Good girl"

You died on the spot.

Was it hot in here? It definitively was! Or was it just Alexia?

It was just Alexia.

Your knees went weak, your heart was racing and skin on fire.

In a crowded bar, surrounded by family, friends and colleagues she smashed her lips against yours. You responded as eagerly while she tried to pull you impossibly closer - oh, how she had missed you and your kisses.

This kiss wasn‘t like the ones you shared before, it was pure need.

"Let‘s go" the midfielder mumbled, trying to catch her breath, the same as you did. She waited for a respond - your consent - before she left.

With you.

[ghoulfuckersincorporated]

feeling veryyyy normal thinking about being offered as part of bounty to the ghoul because the bounty poster doesn’t end up having the caps they promised him. and they need to pay him somehow. they’ll offer him their lil captive vaultie as payment for the rest. 👉🏻👈🏻 will he accept?🫣

A Fair Trade

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female Reader

Word Count: 3,980

Warnings: smut (18+), p in v sex, oral (m receiving), creampie, sex as payment for debt, human trafficking typical of the Fallout universe.

Summary: The Ghoul always gets what's owed to him.

Notes: Oh, wow! My first submission-type ask! I'm genuinely super flattered and totally open to doing more. I initially ballparked that this would be around 2,500 words and it ended up almost 4,000 because I have no self control when it comes to this man. I will try to keep other submissions a little shorter, generally, to hopefully get them out quicker.

To the anon: This may have turned out...sweeter than you may have envisioned? Maybe that's not the word. Less rough? If so, my apologies! I hope you still enjoy.

Things had been...unfortunate for you since you had decided to leave your vault.

Looking for a taste of something new, chasing the feeling that the world had other things for you to experience, you had managed to make it to the nearest settlement of any import with only a few scrapes and bruises. But, regrettably, you lacked a true understanding of how cruel and selfish people on the surface could be, and you quickly ended up the captive of some random outpost runner.

Well, you'd been traded to the outpost runner. You still weren't quite sure how that had come about, even after weeks and weeks had passed, but, frankly, the scrawny, dirty man was a lot less scary than the guy who had initially captured you. He wasn't not scary by any means (no one up here really was, as far as you could tell); he still confiscated your things and locked you into the small room in the back that you were fairly confident was intended to be a closet every night, but he hadn't really done anything to hurt you so far. You were given a pillow, at least.

But you were growing increasingly uneasy with not knowing what his plans for you were. Worst case scenario, you guessed, he could kill and eat you like you'd heard some surface people did, but that didn't seem to be the case. Nevertheless, the way he eyeballed you, "accidentally" brushed against you with increasing frequency, made you uneasy. Maybe he'd bought you to be his wife, or whatever the Wasteland equivalent would be. You imagined that in the next few weeks he'd offer you more favorable sleeping accommodations...so long as you shared them with him.

Maybe you could accept, kill him in his sleep and flee. You really didn't treasure the idea of ending someone's life, but...you needed to get out of here, and soon.

The sound of the creaky, rusted front door hinges flexing drew your attention, distracting you from your bloody ruminations and the pile of scrap you'd been sorting through. The front office hadn't been loud, but the small murmur of voices instantly faded, a clatter of movement towards the door, followed by some very familiar sounding footfalls. He was back.

The tall, noseless, rad-ravaged man made his way in multiple times a month, sometimes even multiple times a week when the bounties were easy and the work was plentiful. You'd seen each other somewhat often the past few weeks, as your keeper had begun to allow you to clean and assist in the front of the office more and more. It was both better and worse; the days passed with less tedium and you got to see some of the interesting characters the desert produced. However, many of those characters sized you up with predatory eyes, as if they were estimating how many caps they could sell your flesh for in their heads. The ghoul had yet to give you that feeling, interestingly enough.

You'd heard whispers all over town about him, about all the things he'd apparently done, how he was supposedly hundreds of years old. You didn't believe that for a single second. After all, despite his fascinatingly gruesome appearance, he was just a man, wasn't he? A man with very advanced radiation sickness (and a rather unfriendly general disposition), but a man nonetheless.

Sometimes, you felt as if he was certainly looking at you the way a man would. You were unsure, frankly; social etiquette was so vastly different on the surface than it was at home. It sure seemed like he let his eyes linger on you, on your body. Perhaps he was simply curious about you, as you were about him; most people seemed afraid to even look his way, or too disgusted by his condition to even consider it.

"You wanna run that by me again?"

Your ears pricked up instantly at the tone in the ghoul's voice, your heckles raising as you sensed trouble. Tiptoeing towards the door to the front room, you stood as close as you dared, shoulder touching the rotting door frame as you listened in.

"I told you, we were robbed a few nights ago. I don't have the full payment for you right now. This is everything I've got."

You knew your keeper was lying, about the robbery, at least; the place was so small that if anyone had been in to steal anything, you'd have certainly known about it. Whether or not he really had the caps, you didn't know, but you supposed he didn't, figuring that he wouldn't take the risk of pissing off the ghoul if he did. You had overheard him discussing gambling on a few occasions.

"Well, you better find something to make me whole, quick." came the ghoul's acidic reply.

On some level, you understood his frustration. The work was done, the bounty delivered. Un-delivering it wouldn't make up for all the time he'd put in. But, you also knew his reputation for being unforgiving, and you felt a chill run up your spine as you began to fear that he would kill your keeper and you if he didn't find some sort of satisfaction soon.

"I don't have anything worth anything. I told you, this is all I have." the scrawny man shot back, trying to sound confident, tough.

However, based on the way his voice trembled and faltered, the uneasy way he cleared his throat, you suspected the ghoul knew he was lying, too, confirmed only a moment later by what you were certain was the sound of a gun thwish-ing out of its holster and cocking. Your heart flew up into your throat, hammering even harder when, a second later, the lighter sounds of the scrawny man's footsteps rapidly approached the door of the back office. Scrambling back towards the desk, you'd only closed about half the distance when the door flew open, the man grabbing at you almost blindly, his long, dirty nails digging into your exposed wrist as he dragged you, protesting, out behind the counter.

"Hey!" you hissed, trying your best to snatch your arm back out of his grip and failing, infuriatingly. You were momentarily blinded with outrage that he would offer your body to someone to cover his own debts, though you supposed that was just how people did things in this awful place. Your eyes, feeling like they could pop out of your head they were so wide, flew to the man on the other side of the counter, who was assessing you with a look you couldn't read.

"What about her?" the scrawny man asked, and that was the final straw. If things were going to get worse for you, you weren't just going to accept it with a smile. The fingers on your free hand curled into a fist, which you smashed into the side of his face, causing him to release your arm in shock. Almost instantly, he jerked towards you, but the Ghoul pointed the modified pistol in his hand further into his face, stopping him.

"Now, how're you gonna offer me merchandise and then try to damage it in front of me?" he said, speaking to the man, but not looking at him. He was still looking at you, an intrigued glint in his eyes. They were...pretty, actually. Warm and golden brown. Was he really thinking about taking the offer? You'd be lying if you said you weren't curious about what his body would be like underneath all the layers of clothing. However, the entire situation had your walls up high, your whole body trembling slightly.

The Ghoul stepped slowly around the counter towards you; the scrawny man shrunk away, the gun still pointed in his direction, while you held your ground, doing your best to keep your head held high as he stepped right into your bubble, your chests almost touching as he seemed to really size you up. After a moment of incredibly tense silence, his eyes moved to the door, then back to yours. Slowly, he lowered the gun.

"Alright. C'mon, Vaultie." he said simply, turning on one foot to make his way back to the other side of the counter. You hesitated, but soon moved to stand beside him, a surreal feeling washing over you.

"Hey! No fucking way, man! You can't just take her for keeps. She's worth way more caps than I owe you!"

The man was even more red-faced than usual, his tone downright indignant, but he didn't step out from behind the counter to follow.

"Ah, but, see, once we factor in the interest on my missed payment, hurt and suffering, on top of my 'you're a dumbshit' fee...I think it's a wash, personally." the Ghoul replied, leaning back over the counter into the man's dirt-speckled face. He clearly wasn't in a place of strength to negotiate, and his angry gaze moved to you again before he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"What the fuck ever." he grunted.

You felt your body relax noticeably as the bulk of the conflict seemed to pass. However, there was a small amount of unfinished business you wanted to address before you left this place. You crossed your arms, turning your narrowed eyes to your former keeper, feeling emboldened with the Ghoul standing at your back.

"Where's my bag you took from me?"

Soon, you were back in possession of your things, including your Pip Boy, which you fretted over as you and your new keeper set out the door and into the desert heat. As you walked, you flexed the sore fingers on your hand absentmindedly. Soon, you were pouring sweat, pausing briefly to peel the top half of your vault suit down to your waist, tying the sleeves around you hips. The Ghoul appraised you silently as you did, taking a hit off of an inhaler from his pocket before continuing on.

As grateful as you were to be away from the trading outpost, away from the scrawny man and his uneasy ways, you couldn't help but worry in the back of your mind, fret at the possibility that you were going somewhere worse. It was being too trusting that got you into your situation to begin with. You worried at your lip with your teeth as he began to direct you down the road, his hand flat and firm between your shoulders. You weren't sure if the gesture was intended to be one of comfort, or if he was simply ready to snatch you up by the back of your vault suit if you decided to try to run.

The two of you walked in complete silence in the direction of the setting sun for what felt like a hundred miles. In truth, your Pip Boy revealed that you'd only gone a single mile and some change when the sun fully dipped behind the horizon, granting some blessed relief from the sweltering heat. You kept on a while longer, until the stars began to appear; eventually, the man veered from the decrepit highway, steering you to a little alcove in the rocky hillside, barely big enough to be a coyote's den.

"Alright, we'll bed down here for the night. Gettin' too dark to keep walkin'." he said, dropping his bag on the ground in a little cloud of dust as he turned to survey the site suspiciously.

You stood waiting for him to direct you, your fingers wrapped tight around the straps of your backpack, watching as he checked around wordlessly. After a few minutes, you chose one of the flatter rocks around and sat against it, watching as he built a small fire, inhaling some of the rations that had been hid away in your bag. Eventually, the ghoul threw himself down on the other side of the flames, facing the highway, and did the same, tucking into something canned from his bag. Things were quiet for a while, but eventually he spoke to you again, his voice pulling you away from fidgeting with with your Pip-Boy.

"Y'know, you're insanely lucky he didn't sell that thing. Can get quite a bit for a functional one these days. Moron didn't know what he had." he said, still chewing.

You blinked at him, your eyes flitting between the gadget on your arm and him, unsure how to respond. Briefly, you felt a growing sense of apprehension, but he must've sensed it, as he rolled his eyes and sighed softly as he swallowed.

"I'm just sayin' you're lucky you still have it, kid. Don't piss your pants. Trust me, if I wanted that thing, I'd have taken it from you already." he said, tossing the now-empty can over his shoulder.

You nodded silently, willing the tension out of your spine as you watched him dig around inside the oiled leather saddle bag once more. He produced a silver flask and a canteen, taking long pulls off of one, then the other. He then took another drag off of the inhaler he'd been puffing as you walked. Eventually, he stood, gave his back a stretch, and shrugged the long, tattered duster from his shoulders, splaying it out quickly on the ground behind him before turning back to face you.

"Alright, darlin'. Get your little ass over here."

You felt yourself freeze almost completely, your head turning sharply towards him. He hadn't said anything about the initial deal for so long that you weren't sure he was actually interested.

"What? I accepted you in lieu of payment. That means you are the payment, sweetheart. And I do intend to collect." he said, plainly amused, sinking down to the ground, his back sliding against the red rock behind him. "Besides, I've seen the way you look at me. Don't pretend you're not curious."

Your cheeks instantly felt agonizingly hot; had you been that obvious in your interest in him? Every day, something new in this place made you feel so silly, so naive. But, at the same time...he wasn't wrong. He might be rough-looking overall, but he'd been kind to you so far, and he did have quite a nice build. Besides, it had been weeks since you'd felt sufficiently alone enough to masturbate. A tad awkwardly, you went to lift yourself to walk to him when he cut you off.

"Mmm. How about you crawl?"

You felt your face twist into a mask of indignant confusion, and he chuckled. Hesitating, you made measured eye contact with him over the flames, quickly realizing, as those mischievous eyes glinted back at you, that he was serious. You swallowed hard, pulling yourself slowly onto your hands and knees before crawling the half-circle around the small fire as quickly and as dignified as possible, though there felt like there was very little dignity in it anyway. You stopped at his feet, kneeling with your hands on your thighs and looking up at him, trying your hardest to not seem as nervous as you felt.

"Take your shirt off." he ordered, head tilted as he watched you quickly pull the grimy undershirt over your head, tossing it near your bag. The night air was cool on your bare breasts, your sensitive nipples quickly peaking into hard little nubs that stung slightly. You wanted to press your warm palms to them, soothe the ache, but you didn't want him to think you were trying to cover yourself, so you simply sat, staring again, waiting for further instructions.

He grinned at you, leaning forward into your space, his gloved fingers stroking along your jaw, sliding a single one under your chin to lift your eyes fully to his. They were just as pretty glinting in the dying firelight as they had been in the outpost office.

"Y'know, you take direction pretty well, Vaultie. I like that in a lady." he said, tone low and conspiratory.

Your entire face burned now, even your eyes feeling hot, but that fire spread its way down into your core, blooming between your thighs, and you shifted slightly to press them together harder.

Reaching down, he made quick work of the belt holding up his pants and his fly, tugging free a cock that was about as red as the rest of him, the bulbous head glistening with precum already in the yellow-orange glow of the fire. Your tongue darted out to swipe at your lower lip, and you crawled up his legs to look closer. The Ghoul seemed surprised, leaning back ever so slightly from you as you came near, giving you room to move close and wrap your hand around him, drawing out a long hiss from between his yellowed teeth.

"Right on it, eh?" he chuckled almost breathlessly. "I like that in a lady, too."

You shot him a bit of a chastising look as you began to work your hand up and down over him, your free fingers coming to play along the weeping slit of him, earning another groan. He was a pretty average length for his height, you thought, but thick and already almost completely hard. It didn't seem like it would take much work to get him the rest of the way there. Your musings were interrupted by the feeling of his leather glove brushing against the swell of your breast before encaging the whole thing in his palm, massaging almost reverently. You whimpered when he plucked at your other nipple, sending shocks down your spine and straight to your already throbbing clit.

"Let's see what that pretty mouth is good for, hmm?"

Embarrassingly, you immediately dropped your head, pushing your body flat so you were sort of lying between his spread legs, bringing your lips down to hover a few inches above his leaking cock head. Tongue darting out to lap up a little taste of the shiny slickness there, you hummed; he tasted different than you were expecting, sort of the same, but with an almost metallic edge. You ran your tongue in a full circle around his tip, clenching around nothing when he groaned throatily, his right hand sliding through the dirt beside him.

"Fuck." he spat out when you unhinged your jaw, allowing the first few inches of him to fill your mouth, wrapping your lips around the head and sucking hard as your left hand continued to work the base of him. More and more precum leaked from the slit as you tongued at it, the taste and the knowledge that you were arousing to him making you rub your thighs together shamelessly.

"Play with your pussy." he commanded, clearly struggling to keep his tone even. Beneath you, you could feel his hips rocking almost imperceptibly. He didn't need to tell you twice; you could already tell you'd soaked through your underwear as you wrestled your hand down into your pants, pushing the wet gusset aside to rub tight circles around your swollen bud, moaning around his cock at the feeling.

The sound seemed to really turn him on, one of his hands suddenly moving to fist into your hair, the slight pain at the roots making you throb. His other hand came to cup your jaw again, holding you in place as he fully fucked his hips up into your waiting mouth, cussing under his breath as you continued to push yourself closer to orgasm. He kept you like that for a few long minutes, your neck cramping slightly by the time his thumb reached down, wiping away some drool that was dribbling down your chin. Bleary eyed, you looked up at him pleadingly. His answer was a wicked chuckle, his grin less of a smile and more a predator bearing his teeth.

"Blowin' a ghoul turn you on that much, cutie? What would the other vaulties think?" he tutted, shaking his head. "I think it's time you get on my cock."

Blushing hard at his little taunt, you could feel his burning gaze as you pulled yourself back up into a sitting position, tugging your boots off and setting them aside before shimmying the suit the rest of the way off, along with your underwear. A shiver broke down your spine as a small breeze hit you, your fire pretty much nothing but glowing embers now. However, when you pulled yourself back onto his lap, sighing as you ground your wet slit against his erection, you found that he was pleasantly warm feeling, bringing your hands up to his chest so you could lean over just enough to reach between you and position his cock at your entrance.

Too afraid of injuring yourself to attempt to take him all in one move, you instead opted to sink down onto the head, wriggling your hips before pulling them back up, then sinking down again, gently bouncing yourself down onto him. The man beneath you was tense, his hands kneading at your breasts as he huffed and hissed his way inside you. By the time you'd worked yourself most of the way down onto him, his hands moved to your hips, gripping them deliciously tight as you bobbed up and down on his length. For as cocky as he'd been before, he was pretty clearly struggling to keep his cool now.

One of your hands moved up from his chest, leaving you unsteadily balancing on one hand as the other pinched your nipple the same way he had before, making you cry out like a wounded animal. He must've liked that, as well, as his hands immediately yanked you the rest of the way down onto him, your ass resting flush against his hips. You repeated the sound again, higher, more strangled as he sat so deep inside you, the fat tip of him strumming away at something amazing right behind your belly button. It was too dark to make out much of anything, but you could feel the way his body twitched and bucked beneath you, strung tight as a bow.

The Ghoul's hands were digging deep into the fat of your hips, so hard you knew you'd bruise, restricting your movement, forcing you to swivel and grind your hips against him, the angle putting delicious friction on your poor aching clit and pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Your body began to clench around him rhythmically, and his hand quickly appeared on your clit in the dark, rubbing surprisingly deft stripes up and down the puffy flesh until you were suddenly gasping for air, trembling hard against his chest as he fucked up into your heat roughly, sloppily, the hand that wasn't on your clit slapping you hard on the ass. Suddenly, he let out a long, low groan, and you could feel the hot throbbing of him pumping his cum inside you, his hips stuttering as you let yourself slump halfway against him. There was a sudden metallic taste in your mouth. For several long moments, there were no sounds but your co-mingled harsh breaths and sound of the wind swirling the sand across the foothills.

After you'd finally caught your breath, you made a move to extract yourself from him. He promptly stopped you, flipping you onto your back, the smell of the duster's rich leather curling in around you as he kept grinding his hips into your overstimulated cunt. It drew an embarrassing squeal from you, hands flying to his chest once more before being rather playfully batted away.

"Oh, no, sweetheart. Nice as that was, your buddy owed me quite a bit of money. I think you'll be paying me back in installments." he growled in your ear, one hand moving around to give your ass a firm squeeze as you gave another clench around him. Your mind, foggy with sex, wandered to the Radaway still stashed in your bag.

It was going to be a long night.

[nathaslosthershit]

A Big Decision (Teen Dad!Oscar AU)

(Part 8 of Teen Dad!OP au [Can be read on its own])

Summary: It is time to pop the big question

The twins had finally gone down for a nap after spending so long fighting it. The kids, at age three, have started to fight them more and more, leading their parents to start discussing if it's time for naps to stop. Honey, being a stay at home mom, had needed the nap time as much as her kids had in the past, giving her time to catch up on chores or just rest for a little, so she was really trying to get as much time as she could with it. But maybe it truly was over.

She was surprised to see Oscar pacing in their living room once she went back downstairs.

“Well, aren't you home early?” She says as Oscar immediately wraps his arms around her, burying his head in her neck and kissing it.

“Missed you all, did what they needed from me extra fast so I could get home earlier. Thought we could maybe go out tonight?”

“Oscar, it's a friday night. Do you know how impossible getting a babysitter would be? The kids also take a while to warm up to babysitters, I don’t think it's a good idea.”

“Good thing I thought ahead then. Lando had a free night and has been begging to see them after the last ‘betrayal’ when they wore Sargeant hats. Even better, he said he would do it for free if it meant working towards being the favorite.”

“Oscar, you can’t get your coworkers to babysit your twin toddlers for free by dangling favoritism in their faces.”

“It was his idea! I am just capitalizing off of it. I got us a nice reservation too, we just need to let him now in the next…” Oscar checks his wrist where his watch usually rests but finds it missing, “uh now. So I need an answer quickly, are we going to stay home and eat the same leftovers we have had for the past two days, or are we going to make Lando Norris the happiest man alive by letting him watch our kids for free while we have an amazingly romantic dinner?” Oscar quickly asks as he takes his ex-fiancee, now girlfriend, in his arms.

“Fine, let's go out, we could use the night off. Let Lando know I appreciate him watching them for us.”

“Perfect, why don’t you go out, do something nice for yourself, I'll take over with the kids. We still have time before dinner tonight.” Oscar suggested in a strange tone as he kissed all surface area of her face.

“What is up with you today? I don’t mind it but you are so much more touchy.” She laughed.

“Don’t worry bout a thing.” Was all he replied as he walked away. “Tonight will be the best yet, I promise.”

That’s when it struck her, why he was being so weird. Surely, he was going to propose.

After the huge fight in Suzuka, she had called the engagement off, causing them to ignore each other’s existence unless it came to the kids, for seven weeks. Since they had gotten back together, life had been blissful. Sure, it was most likely the ‘honeymoon’ phase of their relationship, but even so, they had been so ready to marry each other before things started going downhill. Maybe days after they got back together isn’t the right time to get engaged, but they had been to hell and back together since they got pregnant at 18 years old, they were it for each other, always would be. 

Oscar taking off of racing had also been a blessing. It had been hard for him, certainly. But he had needed to learn how to put his family first again, a priority that got harder to keep up with since joining Formula 1. 

As she sat in the nail salon chair, getting what were hopefully her engagement nails done, she thought back to how far they’d come. 

Arriving home with her nails done, and after getting the most amazing massage, Honey was giddy as she greeted her, hopefully, soon to be fiancé. After an hour and a half of filling her head with wedding plans and thinking about their future when she would finally get to be Mrs. Piastri after 7 years, she was more excited then she was the first time he proposed. 

This excitement continued from the moment she stepped into the shower, till the moment she sat in her seat at the restaurant. Oscar had hired a driver for the night, saying it was a night all for them, no need to be careful of how many drinks they were going to have, he had also told her he had plans to take them to the beach after where they could finish the night with a picnic by the water and stay as late as they liked. 

There was one thing that was off about him though, while she had expected nerves, she had also expected excitement from him and soon noticed the more giggly she was, the more upset he seemed to be. Maybe he realized she had caught on?

She finally asked what was up after he spilt his drink.

“Seriously Osc, what is wrong with you? You claim this is such a nice night for just the two of us but you are a mess right now!”

“It’s nothing, I’m sorry I don’t know why I’m like th-”

“Bullshit. I thought I made it clear how awful of a liar you are Oscar Jack Piastri, just tell me. Please?”

Silence filled the air as he stared at her, words failing.

“I will get up if you don’t-”

“I had a meeting with higher ups at McLaren earlier today and was told if I don’t come back then I am out of the contract and I agreed to come back for the Spanish Grand Prix!” Oscar blurted out.

Again, a heavy silence landed on the couple, both of them daring the other one to speak first.

Then, without a single word, Honey got up from the table and walked to the car leaving Oscar at the table, tears starting to fall.

Part 2 out now!

[willowrites]

A Conrad Fisher best friends to lovers one. Denial from both of them and angst even though they both love each other. Maybe drunk kissing/jealousy?

SOBER THOUGHTS DRUNK ACTIONS

PAIRINGS. conrad fisher x fem reader

SUMMARY. your beginning of the summer party takes a turn…

WARNINGS. drinking, making out, cheating (not really)

AUTHORS NOTE. i love this one!! the emotional knees always get me! hope you enjoy <3 not proofread yet

WORD COUNT. to be counted.

the only thing that was distracting you from the fact that conrad had his arm around another girl was the loud music booming from the speakers.

you guys throw a massive beginning of the summer party now that you guys were back in cousins.

you had gotten there just a week before to plan it and were talking about it even before summer started.

so now that it was here, you were supposed to be having an awesome time.

confirmed: you were not having an awesome time.

belly was with her new summer bae; cam cameron. steven was with another girl he’d met at his job. jere was somewhere off with who knows…and conrad? conrad was with a girl who looked disappointingly beautiful.

your stare burned holes on the side of his face.

you were raging because even though you both are super close best friends you’ve had feelings for him for forever and you felt as if you should’ve done something about it before he was able to get a girlfriend.

but now here you are, staring at them laughing and giggling with their feet dipped in the pool like the cute little couple they were. ugh.

you wanted to bury your thoughts and feelings so you went ahead and served you some spiked punch that steven had made.

as time went on you had one too many of those cups. you weren’t blackout drunk per se but you would be waking up to a killer headache the next morning that’s for sure.

you stumbled outside carrying your red cup in one hand and your phone in the other.

you walked up to conrad and his new girl not even thinking of what to say.

“oh hey y/n…” conrad had suspicion in his voice. “a-are you okay?”

conrad had never seen you like this. sure maybe you guys have gotten tipsy a few times together but never this drunk.

“oh i’m fine connie dont worry a-about me!” you slurred patting his shoulder. “and you are?” you eyes the girl next to him.

“oh im nicole” she smiled. “it’s really nice to meet you.”

“mmm yeah nice to meet you! i didn’t know little connie here had a girlfriend!” you looked at him then back at her.

“oh uh it’s something fairly new…” she admitted awkwardly. “hopefully soon though right?” she tried to laugh it off.

“y/n, i think we should get you some water.” he tried to guide you back toward the back door of the house.

“oh no no! you wouldn’t wanna leave your girlfriend here all alone would you??” you grabbed his arm and pushed it off you. “by all means don’t let me ruin this beautiful conversation you’re having.”

you stumbled backward but didn’t realize you hit the edge of the pool.

conrad tried to grab your hand but it was too late as you fell onto your back into the water.

you didn’t realize what was going on until you genuinely couldn’t breathe due to the water that made its way inside your throat and nose.

you heard someone else jump in and grab you pulling you up.

you were coughing and choking on the water gagging trying to take a breath.

“fuck fuck fuck!” you heard conrad’s voice as he lead you to the edge of the pool. “come on y/n. you’re okay.”

you grabbed hold of the ledge trying to keep yourself up as you tried to cough and get some air.

as you were calming down you saw jere above you lending you a hand.

you grabbed his hand and allowed him to pull you so that you were on your knees trying to breathe slowly.

“what the fuck happened?” he asked conrad.

“dude she’s fucked up right now. i gotta go take her to her room. she’s done for the night.” he said. his words had to ur blood boiling.

you had cleared your throat enough to speak. “you don’t make decisions for me. i’m…i’m fine!” you stumbled away heading toward the gate that led to the beach.

you tried to scrunch up your shorts to get rid of the water as well as your shirt. you heard someone else behind you and the gate slam.

“y/n! get back here.” conrad.

“leave me alone.” you said. not bothering to yell it out.

“look, let’s just go back inside so that you can clean up. i know you’re not comfortable in these wet clothes and neither am i.” he grabbed your arm once again and for a split second you were going to push him away but he was right.

you hated being in wet clothes.

“i’m only doing this because i want to.” you muttered walking back to the house.

as soon as you made it upstairs you went straight to your room and conrad followed you.

you turned around, annoyed. “i don’t remember inviting you to come in.”

he put his hands up in defense. “i just need to make sure you’re okay. you need to hydrate.”

“i’m fine. i don’t need you to babysit me.” you start brushing out your hair. it’s the one think that would calm you down. to have untangled hair.

“i know you don’t. why the fuck are you acting like this?” he was getting irritated by the minute.

“go back with your fucking girlfriend conrad.” you dismissed him.

“no. i am here because i need to make sure you are okay.” he walked further into your bathroom.

“whatever.” you mumbled looking at yourself.

“can you look at me?” he sternly questioned. “why are you being weird?”

“if you’re gonna be here can you be here silently.” you were persistent on showing him how mad you were. even if it was unfair.

conrad’s frustration was really starting to blind him.

he moved you so that you were looking at him not realizing how close you two were.

you were leaned against the bathroom counter hands on it trying to hold yourself; his face inches from yours.

“what’s wrong?” he was searching your eyes for something.

your eyes started to sting from the tears that were forming. “nothing.” you whispered.

his eyebrows furrowed. he saw how emotional you were becoming and he hated it. he didn’t know what to do.

you were looking at him surveying his face which was doing the same thing.

you looked at him with love. you couldn’t help it. you tilted your head to the side shutting your eyes causing a few tears to fall.

looks like you were an emotional drunk.

you then leant your head on his shoulder silently trying to stop crying.

his arms wrapped around you.

you guys stood there for a moment. you then took a deep breath and sniffed to stop your nose from running.

you lifted up your head to meet the same blue eyes. your breathing stopped for a second as he wasn’t making eye contact with you. he was looking at your lips like he was thinking of his next step.

you didn’t know what to do but before you could act out on anything, he connected your lips.

you didn’t know how to respond until his hands grabbed your face taking dominance of the kiss causing you to start kissing back.

as he molded his lips with yours you breathed in his scent. he smelled like the ocean and vanilla.

he tasted like the fruit punch you were drinking earlier. his hands were soft and warm making you feel so safe.

he pushed his tongue into your mouth earning a whimper from him.

he then tapped your leg and whispered, “jump.” causing you to follow his words.

you jumped as he carried you and placed you on the counter.

his hands were on your hips continuing to push you further back until you had to prop yourself on your hands to keep yourself from hitting your head or falling against the mirror.

you continued to kiss for a few more seconds before you both had to catch your breath.

his mouth was next to your ear. you could here every single breath, every hitch. you closed your eyes taking in the moment.

“i love you, y/n.” he whispered in your ear. “for a while i’ve felt this way.”

he was admitting it all now.

you were stunned. your eyes opened up immediately sobering up.

“i…i…” you stuttered.

he pulled back, both of you face to face now.

“you don’t have to say anything but i need you to know how i feel.” he reassured.

“i love you.” you said.

he immediately smiled

you smiled back starting to giggle excessively.

he kissed you once more then pulled away.

“can we please get ready for bad and continue to tell each other how much we love each other.” he asked nuzzling his nose to your cheek.

“mmm, yes please.”

[alexisomnias]

WHEN YOUR GONE. . .

obey me nightbringer spoilers

featuring the DEMON BROTHERS

they return home, a sunken feeling moving along with them as their home feels much more empty. Despite the attendant never living with them, it feels as if a room lost its shine that kept the home lifted. they go to the bedroom to mourn for the loss of a friend who they've known for no longer then a week (yet it feels like years).

LUCIFER "Hopefully you found me helpful from time to time? Don't push yourself too hard "big brother."

lucifer finds himself staring at your writing, it was clearly handled with care, perhaps even written with a shaky hand. he finds himself doing nothing other then staring, he can't even reread it as if his throat was choked up for good. lucifer, who thought your position as attendant was nothing other then stupid found his heart slow to if he didn't know better would be a stop. he did... he did find you helpful... his eyes close as he leans his head back and takes a deep breath, as if to stop tears.

why must you of done this too him? why couldn't you just leave with a goodbye that he would forget come hundreds year?

MAMMON "Thank you for always thinking of me. I always had fun when we were together."

mammon prided himself in his ability to hold his emotions, but after his eyes came across the last letter, reading each syllable as if it was his first time he lets out a sob. clutching the letter in his hand as if all of you would disappear if he ever let it go. you were cruel, he thinks, so cruel for leaving him alone like this. he sobs quietly leant over the desk as he sobs into his arms, why did he always get attached to things that would soon leave him? you don't realize, that even after your gone. your memories, even the happiest ones will leave him thinking of you as left pain.

his heart aches for you already, he wants to continue to be together, he wants you back.

LEVIATHAN "Make sure to take good care of Snake, okay? I know you'll make an amazing demon !!"

it took a lot for leviathan to even build up the courage to exit the comfort of his own room. without you there by his side, what will be there to help him navigate around? you've been barely gone for 3 days and yet it feels as if you've been missing from his side for centuries. curse him for getting attached, curse the universe for making you the friend that leaves for his own character development. he sniffles, rereading the text over and over. he let out an ugly cry, uncaring for if the world outside saw it.

how could he be the amazing demon you claim him to be, without you by his side to reassure?

SATAN "Someday we should both go bookstore hopping! You're fine just the way you are Satan."

he doesn't know why you left, but dear lord is he so angry. at the world, at his brothers for allowing you to leave, at himself for not being there to tell you he needs you. satan doesn't cry, satan doesn't even rage out in anger as he reads your letter. he stares, and he stares until a figurative hole could be burnt through the crisp paper left in your place. the only memory left of you for you weren't there for long. why couldn't he be there to see you leave? send you off? why was he the one stuck under the impression you would come back for him, until you didn't?

did you even realize that you were the reason he felt like he belonged in this world?

ASMODEUS "Looking forward to the next Asmo Night! I love you! more then words can say!

asmo loves you more then words exist, thats why he needs you by his side, thats why he needs you there to remind him of why he's deserving, of why he deserves to be happy like the others. asmo needs you more then words can say, he lets out a quiet cry, almost silent as tears drip down his porcelain face. clutching his own note close to his body. why did you have to leave so early? why did you have to leave him so abruptly after carving your place in his heart?

he trusts in the fact that you will return, maybe its denial, or trust, but he believes you'll be back for him.

BEELZEBUB "Be careful not to eat too much! Keep your brothers safe, okay?"

beelzebub did not cry, but he did mourn. how could he always lose those he grows to care for? all in such a short time? he swears he would starve if it meant you'd come back, he'd never complain about hunger again if you'd be back to tell him off, back to make him breakfast out of food he's unfamiliar with. he clutches the note strong enough that if he tried it would rip, but he'd never destroy a memory of you.

beel wants to keep his family safe, but as their attendant, that includes you, he wants you safe as well.

BELPHEGOR "Someday I'll buy you the ultimate alarm clock. I adore that happy look you have while asleep."

Belphegor was the last of the brothers to visit your room, as if he contemplated for days of whether it would be a good idea. belphie despised humans, and you being a human would of included that, wouldn't it? but yet, he can't find himself to hate you. you helped him, helped beel instead of hurt. all the other notes were gone, so the sole one laid upon your empty desk. he stared down on it, in a slow process, his stone face crumpled, melted into tears as it dripped onto he page. his hands clenched up as he cried. falling to his knees as he allowed himself to sob against the desk. your letter lying dead in front of him.

did he really need an alarm clock when his attendant was there to wish him a good morning?

[hyuuukais]

-`♡´ - APARTMENT 143

pairing -> lee minho x fem reader

synopsis -> after a bad breakup, y/n needs to find a new place to live. although she's grateful for her best friend, up-and-coming model hwang hyunjin, for letting her stay at his, she can't keep living with him and his model roommates. so when an opening for somewhere nearby with cheap rent opens up, she jumps on it, despite knowing next to nothing about the 3 other tenants, only that one owns 3 cats. the three quickly learn of her breakup, determined to help get her back on her feet. but what happens when one of them begins to develop feelings?

warnings -> gen, hospitals, food mentioned, feeling sick/throwing up mentioned

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE -> COMFORT ME (partially written, wc: 535)

That... isn't Soobin.

None other than Lee Minho is sitting on a waiting room bench to greet you with a soft smile and a paper bag held tightly in his arms. He sets it down next to him and stands, letting you come to him. There are fresh tears cascading down your face as you practically throw yourself into his open arms, one of his hands smoothing your hair. Just the feeling of him holding you is enough to break you completely, barely able to keep yourself standing up.

"Shh," Minho guides you to sit on the peeling leather bench. "Breathe."

"She's awake," you gasp into his shoulder, still holding onto him tightly. "She's awake."

After a long time, you're able to peel yourself away from his now wet t-shirt and look up at him with wet eyes. His own glance between yours and you don't notice the way his heartbeat thumps louder, or the way his breathing picks up when you break into a smile. Minho brings his hand up to wipe your tears away and you can't help but lean into his palm, closing your eyes with a sigh. Against better judgement, Minho leans in and places a kiss on each of your eyelids, lips so soft you barely feel it. When your eyes flutter open, he can't look at you.

"She's doing better then?" Minho clears his throat, removing his hand from your face and shifting slightly away; you try not to be hurt by this.

"Yeah. The doctors say she should recover pretty quickly now and can go home by the end of the week hopefully." You eye the paper bag still sitting next to him. "What's that?"

"Oh!" He perks up, passing the bag over to you. "I almost forgot."

He watches you open it with a smile on his face, your own features mimicking his as you peer inside. It doesn't take long for you to scarf down the croissant, offering Minho a bite, but he shakes his head and delights in watching you savour it. This is the first moment you've had since you came down where you've just enjoyed something, not having the worry of whether your sister will still be alive when you walk into her room at the front of your mind.

"How have you been?" Minho asks once you're done eating, taking a sip of the guava juice.

"Really terrible?" You shrug. "It's like, there's this guilt eating away at me constantly for multiple reasons, and I haven't been able to cry until today. Instead, it's just been this feeling in my stomach and in my chest, all heavy and foreboding. My head's been killing me and my mom's been killing me and my sister could have been killed and I just-" Taking a deep breath, you debate your admission. "...I can't stop thinking of him, Minho."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," his voice is quiet, one hand sliding over your knee in an act of comfort. "Why don't we get you home? Have the hospital call when you can see her?"

"I'd like that," you sigh, sliding your free hand over his. "I'd like that a lot."

-

notes -> we r getting closer and closer to y/n revealing what happened to her dad... maybe minho can get it out of her? speaking of minho, bro finally left his ex for good! is this really the start of minyn (minion, if u will), or will there be more obstacles in the form of people to keep them apart? oh, and i'm thinking i may close the taglist soon? idk yet !

taglist -> @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143 @staysinbloom @puppyminnnie @tfshouldidohere @kangaracha @chlodavids @whitney190 @thisisnotjacinta @borahae-reads @brooklynie @gini143 @kayleigh-28 @skz-streamer @babyphotos0325 @scallywag1299 @venusmoonxnight @naomisosoup @fertiliezedtoesw @s00buwu @realrintaro @anothershorthuman @stayatinykatsy @ilovejeongin007 @btswestan @multifandomedsimp @ihrtlix @raehawthorne @euphoric-univers @catchingskzzzs @evermourning @satsuri3su @jazziwritesthings @minhwa @wyzminho @fic-for-readers @dreamerwasfound @imsiriuslyreal @lailac13 @palindrome969 @lixie-phoria @aalexyuuuhm @sunflowerbebe07 @st4rhwa @lukeys-giggle @jabmastersupriseee @judeduartewannabe @gaysontheprince @stepout-09-15

^^^ orange means i can't tag you

[scribblesofagoonerr]

Turmoil of events...

This update might be a bit all over the place. I'm still ill, but I had a spark to write, even if it doesn't make much sense at all.

Credit to @alotofpockets for the idea on this update; I am very grateful for her help!

⟫ part 1

After being sick for five days, it became apparent that having the flu was not enjoyable. You spent most of the week confined to your bed, wrapped in blankets, with a noticeable pile of used tissues beside you. You felt cold one moment and hot the next, shivering uncontrollably.

You had been feeling completely miserable. However, the good news was that you were starting to feel better just in time for the training session ahead of the away game against Bristol.

Although, your team's mothers held differing opinions on the matter.

"Maybe you should take a few more days to recover" Beth suggests, shaking her head. "I still don't think this is a good idea" she adds.

"Why? I feel better now" It's not a complete lie. You do feel better, although you're still slightly sniffling and your head is pounding a little bit too much. Overall, you did feel better than previously.

"I just don't think it's a good idea" Beth says, pursing her lips and turns to look at Viv, seeking her input.

The Dutch shakes her head in agreement and adds, "There's no harm in taking extra time to feel better. You don't want to push yourself and make yourself worse" she tells you.

You try your best to resist the urge to inwardly groan at the two of them, "Seriously? Come on. I'll be fine! I have to get back into the squad-- You know that the nations league games are coming up soon so I need to get minutes" You know that it's important to play; you can't be sidelined instead.

"There'll be plenty of chances for that" Viv tells you with a frown, but she can't help but be concerned about how much you've been pushing yourself.

"I can't be sidelined, I need minutes!" You exclaim before you storm off to finish getting ready for training.

"That kid is..." Beth begins to speak.

"Stubborn" Viv finishes the blondes' sentence.

Beth can't help but chuckle slightly, "Well, that's one word for it now, huh?" she jokes.

"If you're talking about Y/N, then she's definitely stubborn," Laura chips in, amusedly, as she appears in the kitchen. "What happened this time?" she wonders.

"Y/N wants to go to training apparently" Beth exhales a sigh and shakes her head. "It's a bad idea" she states.

"It's definitely a bad idea" Laura replies in agreement with the blonde, she knew how stubborn you could be at times.

"Well, hopefully Jonas will realise that's not ready to be playing in the game yet" Viv tells them as she exhales a sigh.

Apparently, Y/N had done an excellent job of persuading Jonas and the coaching staff that she was fit to play. Therefore, it was not surprising when she secured a spot in the starting eleven for the upcoming game.

This game is significant as Viv is set to return to the pitch, being subbed on during the second half.

"Oh dear" Beth mumbles as she shook her head.

Viv exhales a sigh, "This is not good" she states.

"I'm glad to see that Y/N is feeling better. It'll be good to have her in the starting lineup," Steph says as she looks over to where Kyra and Y/N are joking around on the bus.

"Except that she's not better. We told her she should take more time, but you know what Y/N is like..." Beth remarks.

"Stubborn" Steph pipes in, amusedly.

Beth and Viv both nod in agreement with the woman.

Jen furrows her eyebrows, "You mean she's still sick? I can't see this going well then" she confesses.

"It really isn't going to" Beth exhales a sigh.

"We can't get involved though and decide things for her, or she'd be upset with us for that" Viv states knowingly.

"Yeah, you're right there, Viv" Beth replies in agreement with her girlfriend as she looks over at you, realising that she couldn't say anything and sway the decision or it would backfire on her.

"Cheater!" Y/N shouts aloud, glaring at the australian girl sat opposite her. "Stop cheating!" You protest.

"How am I a cheat? You can't even cheat at Uno!" Kyra delcares with a smug smirk on her face.

"Easy there Y/N, it's just a game now" Laura states, amusedly, although she isn't playing, she's joined all of you on the coach to the game to watch it.

"Nah! Kyra's cheating!" You continue to scowl at the girl while crossing your arms.

"How did I?" Kyra's smug look was starting to annoy you even more.

"You know you did-- You looked at my cards!" You break out into a sudden loud cough as you get worked up, shooting further glares at the 21-year-old.

"You want some water for that cough?" Laura wonders, concerned.

"I'm fine!" You shake your head in protest.

"I thought you said you were better--" Kyra's words are cut off.

"I am, I'm totally fine. It's just a tickle!" You protest, shaking your head as you try and avoid coughing again.

The rest of the girls' don't seem so convinced about it as Kyra and you continue to play uno, under the watchful eye of the rest of the girls.

"Kyra! Stop cheating!" You shout aloud, fed up off the girl constantly cheating with the game and trying to look at your cards.

"Less of the bickering now children" Katie chips in as she laughs, shaking her head from where she sits beside Caitlin.

"There's only one actual child here" You remark, continuing to cross your arms and scowl at the Aussie girl in front of you.

"What's going on?" Alessia wonders, glancing at the two of you confused as she sits in front with Vic.

"Kyra is being a massive cheat!" You exclaim aloud, pointing your finger in the girls' direction accusingly.

"Sure, go and tattle. That's real mature of you kid" Kyra states, smirking cockily.

"Says the 21-year-old whos' acting immature" You remark as the girls all watch you and Kyra bicker amusedly.

"You're being dramatic, Y/N. It's just a game now" Kyra states doing everything in her that she can to wind you up.

"KYRA!" You lunge towards the older girl.

"Y/N!" Kyra shouts back.

"Girls, they're fighting again. Might want to sort that out?" Katie jokes glancing between Beth, Viv and Steph as she watches the two of you almost attempt to wrestle with eachother.

"Kyra, cut it out. Stop winding Y/N up" Steph scolds the younger Aussie girl.

"Kyra, stop winding Y/N up" Steph scolds the younger Aussie girl.

"Y/N you need to calm down, it's just a game. Take it easy" Beth scolds, shaking her head. "Viv, would you talk to her? She'll listen to you" she turns to her girlfriend for help.

"Y/N" Viv scolds you with a knowing firm look

"Sorry" Both you and Kyra apologise after being told off like 2 misbehaved kids, at least you had an excuse that you were an actual kid.

"Handled it like a pro there, girls" Katie jokes with them.

"Well, we've got a few years experience, eh?" Beth remarks to the Irish women.

"It's like I'm permanently babystting" Steph huffs and rolls her eyes. "Caitlin, it's your turn next!" she insists to the fellow Aussie, while the rest of the girls just laugh.

At first the warm-up is going successful, you run with the rest of the girls to warm up and try and obtain the energy needed, you're feeling good and motivated about the game.

It's going well until it's not...

You can't help but wobble slightly as there's a light pounding in the back of your head, you just put it down to dehydration instead rather than the after-effects of illness instead.

"You alright, Y/N?" Lia notices you stumble slightly and frowns.

"I... I'm good" You're crouching over slightly as you feel out of breath but you try and play it off like its' nothing instead.

"You're sure?" Lia checks in as she's not too keen to give up on the conversation yet.

"Oh yeah I'm great, I'm totally fine" You insist as you try and push off the terrible feeling that you felt looming; You couldn't afford to miss this game due to illness.

"Y/N..." Lia still doesn't look totally convinced, but she knows better than to try and push you.

"I'm fine, really Lia... Uh huh, yep I'm cool" You nod and quickly run off in the opposite direction to avoid any further questions and concerns.

"Okay, kid. This is it, your time to shine!" Katie's enthusiastic voice comes from behind you in the lineup. "Are you ready for this?" she asks.

You were reluctant to acknowledge that your headache was intensifying. The throbbing sensation in your temple caused you to tightly shut your eyes, and the noise emanating from the crowd only made it worse.

It's worth mentioning that your throat feels somewhat scratchy again. However, you have to play in this game, so you pretend it's nothing and that you're fine.

"I was born ready, let's go!" You cheer and try to be like your usual upbeat self, but never mind how terrible you still feel.

"Let's go girls!" Kim exclaims, leading the team onto the pitch alongside the Bristol team.

As you walk out to the pitch with the rest of your team, you try to keep up the facade of looking happy. You attempt to block out the pounding feeling in your temple, knowing that you only have to make it through 90 minutes before you can finally flop down and fall asleep once again.

As soon as the whistle blows and the game starts, you get your first touch on the ball and begin racing all over the pitch. Despite fighting off the flu, you don't give Bristol a chance to gain possession of the ball.

It all happened too quickly for you to realise what is happening at that moment. The team is 2-1 ahead of Bristol when everything went wrong.

You went to intercept the ball, a simple move that you had done plenty of times. Suddenly, as you got your toe on the ball, ready to pass it in the direction of Alessia, you felt a sudden pop in your knee, followed by a sharp pain that felt excruciating.

"Agh!" You scream as you fall down onto the pitch in agony.

"Y/N!" Beth is the first to crouch beside you, concern spread across her face. "What's happened?" she questions, worriedly.

The sound of the whistle echoes through the stadium as the girls rush to your side to check on you; the noise is suddenly silent as the crowd of fans watches on in despair as Arsenal's wonder kid falls down on the pitch.

"What hurts-- What's happened?" Katie asks, concerningly as she joins you on the other side.

The tears well up in your eyes as you clutch your knee to stop the pain, "My knee... It's my knee!" You exclaim, letting out a sound of whimpering. "I heard it... I heard the pop!" You add.

"It's okay, Y/N. Don't panic; everything is going to be fine" Viv says as she quickly comes to your side. She had been subbed on to replace Alessia, but you couldn't help but feel awful. This was supposed to be Viv's comeback, her return to the pitch after her ACL injury, and instead, you selfishly took the spotlight away from her.

You could see the girls exchanging looks as they signalled for medics. It's at that moment that you realise you have made a grave mistake. Even though nobody spoke, it was clear that the situation was not good.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[softxsuki]

I am SO nervous to ask, but I have an urgent request for Obey Me. Can I ask for Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, and Beelzebub comforting a burnt-out reader? The reader's mental health has been decreasing for a while, and lately they think nigh everyone sees them as incompetent. They've had to do a LOT of things in a short span of time and they have to do even more tasks that require mINimAL eFFoRT to do in the next week while acting as the unpaid therapist for their friends.

Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, and Beelzebub (Separate) Comfort Burnt-Out Reader

Pairings: Diavolo x Gn!MC, Barbatos x Gn!MC, Simeon x Gn!MC, Beelzebub x Gn!MC

Warnings: mentions of low mental health, feeling burnt out

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 730

Summary: In which they comfort you after seeing how burnt-out you are

[A/N: Hiiii, I'm sorry this is so late, I got sick and have just been very busy with work and getting ready for the holidays, but hopefully this is still useful you you :)]

Diavolo:

Diavolo is also a very busy man, as the next in line to be king of the Devildom and being the president of the student council, he knows what it feels like to have a lot going on

He sneaks away from Barbatos and his pile of paperwork to go look for you

When he does find you, he drags you away on a little rendezvous to help you get away from your own mountain of responsibilities even if its only for a few minutes

Usually you both go into town together and have a meal or just browse around in the different stores

On days where Barbatos is keeping a closer eye on him and he can’t sneak off, he encourages you to get any work you have to get done, in his office

Just so he can keep a close eye on you and make sure you take breaks frequently, to lessen the stress and try and keep you from feeling burnt out

Barbatos:

Barbatos is one of the most responsible men out there, but he too is busy with his own duties, as well as watching over Diavolo to keep him on track

Yet despite being busy, he always makes time for you–after all you’re part of his duties, taking care of you comes naturally, yet it’s a task he’d never leave undone

If there’s anything he can do for you to help lighten your workload, he’d do it

Most of his visits include tea time and sometimes he even brings some sweet treats that he baked specifically for you

Back massages are a must as well as maybe a short walk to keep the blood flowing and allow you some fresh air

He’s always there to listen to your concerns or worries, he’s YOUR person that hears you out and offers advice since he knows you never put yourself first in any other part of your life

With Barbatos, you’ll always be first

Simeon:

Simeon notices how tired you look day by day, but when he finally decides to step in, he takes you away from everything so you can clear your mind and just stop worrying about everything for a moment

You both venture to the human world for some well needed sunlight; since the Devildom is dark 24/7 perhaps you needed some Vitamin D to lift you up again

While in the human world, he takes you to all your favorite places in hopes that it will make you happy again

Words of affirmation are a huge deal for Simeon, so he’s always telling you how amazing and brilliant you are in all aspects of your life

He’s a great listener and as a celestial being, he’d probably give you the best advice in return for any of the struggles you express to him

Picnics are his favorite thing to do with you, especially in the human world; he’d prepare all the food and desserts with Luke’s help and pamper you to a relaxing day by the water

Simeon is always concerned for your well being, so he frequently checks in on you and brings you small things throughout the week to try and lighten your mood

Beelzebub:

Of course as soon as Beel notices your change in demeanor he assumes it’s because you aren’t eating well, or not eating enough

So his instinct is to attempt to cook for you to get those well needed nutrients back into your body

This of course fails and he ends up eating half the plate before it even reaches you (that’s still impressive) so he decides to just take you out to eat instead and pays for everything

Aside from feeding you, Beel gets a little clingy

He’d hold you close and steals you away to his and Belphie’s room, shooing everyone away except his twin of course, but he hogs you all to himself for a few hours, only leaving for food and bathroom breaks

You’re forced to relax with him and he reassures you that he’ll take care of any other responsibilities you have for the day

Probably starts talking about random things to make you laugh or distract your mind from anything unwanted that may still be lingering

He’s just a big cuddly teddy bear who wants to make sure you’re well taken care of, both physically and mentally

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 12/11/2023

[wosoluver]

To undo a mistake

part 2/17 - previous - next

Lena x Bayern player!reader

Lena Oberdorf Masterlist

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

In front of me with her back turned was Lena.

Kissing a girl who had been cheering on from the stands the whole game.

Wearing her jersey too. I wondered if it was the same one I sent back in a box full of her stuff, the week after our last call.

It hurt. Like someone was ripping the last bit of hope you had, that there was a chance she would call one of these days and tell you she made a stupid mistake.

Out of everything that could've happened, that was the one you were least ready for.

Maybe just the fact that the break up was done through the phone, alone, should of raised a big red flag.

Should of raised the awareness that maybe you didn't know her like you thought you did.

That maybe, most likely, she wasn't the girl you fell for.

At that brought up so much anger. At first you kept fighting with yourself. With the feeling in your gut.

Trying to figure out what was going through her mind. And when you couldn't, it turned into you making up excuses for her.

But now reality had sinked in. You had tried so hard to keep this bitter feelings away. But you couldn't anymore.

The worst part in this, was that you had no right to say anything. You couldn't actually blame her for moving on with her life. What you could do, was blame her for being an asshole. And that you did.

You felt so embarrassed in front of your teammates. You wanted earth to swallow you whole.

You pushed it away momentarily though. You didn't want to be that person. Or didn't want them to think you were. The type that would throw away her professionalism because of some fling that happened to not work out.

Like that was more important, than the career you were building. The one thing you were dedicating yourself to, that wouldn't wake up one day and leave you.

You held your feelings in the whole trip back home. The girls didn't dare to talk to you. They saw on your face it wasn't a good idea.

Arriving home you exploded. You let that anger back out. You were red, your head felt like it could burst at any minute and you cried from anger.

You had the next day off. Sundays home were rare. And you thanked the universe. You didn't have to get up early, to get out of bed, to think, to exist.

And Monday rolled around rather quick. You were well rested. And all you wanted was to go training. To occupy your mind and let those cruel feelings out. Could even consider yourself to be excited.

That didn't last too long though.

As soon as you got to the locker room to get ready for the day, coach pulled you a side to talk about your failing performance.

After that sent you straight to the therapist's office. And if you refused, you'd have to sit out next couple of games.

Couldn't risk it.

Going into the waiting area, it was a pain knowing the therapist would only be in, in around 20 minutes and there was still someone else waiting to go in before you.

She gave you a slight tight lip smile as you sat next to her.

You knew her.

She had just arrived to the Bayern.

"Here for an appointment too?" - She asked sympathetic to the look in your face.

"Yep. Poor Performance. You?"

"Injury recovery."

You nodded along. -"The physio's room is the other way." - Immediately receiving a confused face from her.

"I'm joking!" - putting your hands up in defense. As she cracked a sly smile. - "I'm Y/N, we haven't had the chance to meet yet."

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

I sooo excited for this story! Might post another part tonight! Hopefully next part has a little more stuff going on.

Who are we thinking the girl is? Or who do you wish it was?

If you want to support my work, there's a link in my pined post!

Lots of love 🩷

Taglist: @wosos-world

[multi-fxndom446]

Stay

Alejandro Vargas x Reader

Summary: you are taken into custody after working with Valeria and Alejandro practically begs for you to give him a reason why.

Warnings: angst, talk about blackmail, fluff at the end, a lil spicy at the end by not to much. my absolute shit show of Spanish (my resident Spanish speaker took 6 hours to respond and I don’t trust google.) IS THIS MILITARY ACCURATE OR POLITICALLY ACCURATE? NO BUT LEMME LIVE.

Word count: 5.1k

Also the very end was completely unnecessary and you can skip it if you want but I feel like it add another little happy ending cushion😗

Whaaaat another one so soon??? Crazy.

Genuinely this seemed better in my head but hopefully y’all still like it.

Now where did this come from? Idfk don’t ask my I was gonna write for Gaz next 😭

Your wrists hurt.

That was the only thing you tried to focus on as you stared blankly at the wall in front of you as if looking through the multiple men standing in the room with you, interrogating you.

They had your wrists zip tied together behind the chair. You couldn’t help but rub against the restraint from how tight they were, your skin becoming raw.

It made you wonder if they cuffed you tighter than was necessary. No, you knew they did. Maybe it was because it was Alejandro who restrained you and he let his anger for you bleed through slightly.

“You’re really not gonna talk?” Alejandro demanded, his hands splayed on the table separating the two of you. If you looked in his eyes you knew you’d see the anger he harbored for you but that’s not what you were scared of seeing, you were scared of seeing the confusion, the hurt that would also be there. “Why did you do it?”

He’d been asking you that for the last half hour and yet you still haven’t given him a reason for doing what you did. You didn’t give him a reason as to why you betrayed him and Rudy all those years ago. And why you did it again not even a week ago.

You were taken into custody with Valeria, who was in a separate room from you awaiting her own interrogation but for some reason they really wanted answers from you.

“Let's go. She won’t talk.” Ghost had finally said after a tense moment of Alejandro trying to get you to look him in the eyes but everytime he did it was like you were staring straight through him. “Maybe Valeria will talk.”

Maybe she would. Just to torment you further.

“C’mon Ale.” Rudy muttered softly patting him on the shoulder as he walked out of the room with everyone else.

Alejandro stared at you for a moment longer and in a split second of weakness your eyes flitted up to meet his. His breath caught in his throat but he forced himself to look away and follow the others out.

He was the last to enter the shipping container holding Valeria and after they got the information they needed from her some of the men left. Leaving him, Rudy and Price alone with her.

“Why did she do it?” Alejandro asked her but she tilted her head in mock confusion, legs crossed like she didn’t have a care in the world. “Don’t play stupid Valeria. She wouldn’t have done that on her own accord.”

Finally Valeria snapped, a humorless laugh leaving her lips. “And how would you know? You don’t know anything about her.” Alejandro just glared back at her.

“Can someone please explain to me the relationship between all of you?” Price finally piped in and it was then Alejandro realized he never really explained how he knew you.

Alejandro held his glare on the women before him for a moment longer before turning his head to glance at Price. “Y/n was part of Valeria’s squad. One of the closest friends Valeria had.” Valeria sneered in response.

“Maybe that was why she decided to join me. Ever think of that pendejo? Maybe she wanted to.” Alejandro just shook his head, he could feel his anger rising the more he spoke to her, he knew he had to calm down if he was going to get the answers he wanted. “She was practically my right hand man y’know? Did everything I asked without question.”

“There has to be a reason for it. She wouldn’t have just done that.” Rudy finally spoke up. “She was also my friend in the military. I did know her, she wouldn’t have just done something like that for no reason at all. She wouldn’t have betrayed us-“

“Twice?” Valeria finished, laughing when all three pairs of eyes snapped back to her. “You hear quite a few things when stuck in here. Did you ever think maybe it’s just in her to betray you?”

Alejandro scoffed. He clenched his jaw as he shook his head in disbelief, “no.” He stated as he slammed open the door and walked out.

Time was running out for you to confess your reasons to him. TF141 was already gathering supplies to take off shortly to go after the last missile and Hassan. He needed to know why before he put you in a prison so far away he would never even see a glimpse of you again.

You were still staring off blankly rubbing against your restraint when Alejandro came in again. So loudly it did cause you to glance at him but this time he held your gaze as he walked in closer.

“Explain to me.” He demanded his fists clenched tight. “Explain it to me! Why did you do it?” Your heart hurt at the way his voice had a hint of begging.

When once again he saw your lips were sealed tight he flung the only other chair in the room against a wall. “Puta madre!” He yelled but you didn’t move not even when Rudy and Soap rushed in at the commotion.

Soap had a hand on Alejandro’s chest to stop him from advancing which he just shook off. “Alejandro, maybe you should take a minute to calm down.” He said softly but Alejandro just shook his head.

He opened his mouth to respond when your voice stopped him in his tracks. “I won’t speak to you.” You said it with such conviction before nodding to Rudy. “I’ll only talk to Rudy.”

Alejandro looked between you and his best friend with a look you could almost decipher as hurt or betrayal. Maybe both. “What?” He muttered his gaze still flying back and forth before he took a deep breath and leveled you with a harsh glare. You wouldn’t talk to him then whatever happened to you was no longer his fault. “You don’t get to call him Rudy. Not after everything you’ve done. It’s Rodolfo to you.”

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, “fine I’ll only speak to Rodolfo. No one else.” Then you went quiet again and shifted your gaze back to the wall. All three men looked at each other before Rudy looked to his friend, almost in question on if it would be okay for him to talk to you.

“Hijo de la puta.” Alejandro shoved soaps hand away as he put an arm out again. “Fuck!” Finally after a few more moments of him cursing under his breath he nodded to Rudy before he quickly made his way out, soap following close behind.

Rudy watched his Colonel go, he knew how much this was hurting him. It was hurting him as well. You and him were pretty close when you served together, you told him everything and he you, so he truly couldn’t believe you would betray them without good reason.

“Alright,” he picked the chair up from the floor and set it down across from you, almost surprised that you met his gaze head on. “Explain.”

“I already know I’m dead Rudy.” He titled his head in confusion, choosing to ignore the way you called him by his nickname. “Either i get killed or i'm going to prison for the rest of my life, I have no reason to confess.”

“Other than to give us peace of mind!” He leaned forward. Rudy was never one who was able to hide his emotions easily, especially around people he cared about. But you were honestly getting tired of the pleading that was in the depths of his and Alejandro’s eyes. “There had to be a reason. The you I knew back then would’ve never left without-“

Suddenly he cut himself off almost like a realization hit him square in the face, chest caving slighty he took a deep breath. “Y/n..”

You could see it on his face, the knowledge he had just come upon. Your shoulders sagged as your cold eyes finally broke to reveal just how tired you were. “They threatened someone I care about Rudy.” Silence engulfed the room while he waited for you to continue. “Someone I love. If I were to ever reveal their plans it’s not my life at risk it’s his.”

“After all this time you still-?” His gaze and posture both softened almost immediately as the answers were slowly being revealed to him.

“Everyday.” You swallowed thickly. “I was never worried about my own life.”

Rudy shifted slightly to bring himself closer to you as if the two of you were gossiping. “Dime.” He all but whispered “Everything.”

You shook your head, “I can’t. The ones threatening him are still alive. I can’t.” You denied, your wrists rubbing tighter against the restraints as you grew more and more anxious.

“Valeria and Graves?” You nodded “y/n. Valeria is going away and graves is dead they won’t get to him.”

You shook your head again a little more forcefully, “I didn’t see Graves with my own eyes I don’t know that he is. And you don’t know Valeria, Rudy. Not the way I do. She has people on the outside. I can't risk it. So kill me, do whatever you want to me just keep him safe.”

“You know I can’t do that.” You could see the way his heart was breaking at even the thought of killing you. “I can protect you, we both can. Just trust me enough to tell me.”

You shut your mouth tight, already making up your mind that you were done with this conversation but Rudy wasn’t going to let you do that. Not after he just started getting answers.

“Fine. I’ll go speak with Valeria, tell her you told me everything.” Your eyes shot open at his words. You pulled tight against your restraints as he stood up.

“No!”

“No?” You shook your head. “Then tell me.”

You searched his eyes to see if he was really going to do what he said but you saw nothing but conviction in them and it made you realize one thing. He had no reason to make promises to you when you broke all of yours.

Sighing, you deflated in your seat. “Valeria, that day on the mountain, already had our squad on her side. I was the last to know because she knew when I found out I would tell you and Ale. She was my best friend. I had no reason to suspect her of anything. Until she held a knife to my throat and told me she would kill him if I didn’t join her. I told her to go ahead, that I would never do it.” The pain of recalling the moments of your betrayal was almost unbearable. “The one person I loved longer than I could remember. His life was in my hands. So the choice was obvious to me. Even if you both hated me in the end at least you both would be alive.”

Rudy took a deep breath as he took in all your words. “And Graves? Why did you side with him?” You gave him a look as if telling him he should already know.

“Come on Rudy.” You scoffed, eyes burning with unshed tears. “You know why. He took me into his custody soon after Valeria and I were arrested. I had information he needed and when I refused to talk he told me what he did to you and everyone else.”

You looked at him again, shaky breaths falling from your lips. “He had him, Rudy. I couldn’t just let Graves hurt him. So yes I told him what I knew in exchange for Alejandro’s safety. I don’t care if that makes me weak, I don’t even care that it means he hates me now. He’s alive. That’s all that matters to me.”

This time when the silence engulfed the room he knew you were well and truly done speaking. Your posture straightened as you sat back against the chair, your gaze back to staring at the wall in front of you.

Rudy let the silence settle for a minute before he rapped his knuckles against the table and let out a deep breath. He pushed his chair in and left without another word, knowing you well enough to know he wasn’t getting anything else out of you.

As soon as he was out of the room, questioning eyes were on him, piercing into his very soul. “Well? Did she say anything?” Alejandro asked frantically, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. But when Rudy stayed silent Alejandro’s shoulders fell. “She really won’t talk? She told you nothing?”

“That’s it Alejandro. We have to load her and Valeria up.” Ghost muttered while the colonel stared at Rudy for another moment, hoping he would say anything. But when he again didn’t he let out a long sigh before nodding his head.

“Sí, I’ll help you.” Alejandro and soap were the ones to go in and get you. Rudy watched from the doorway as the both of you seemed to put a brick wall between you. Neither one acknowledging the other as Soap yanked you up.

You winced slightly when your wrists rubbed against the zip tie again.

Rudy was going to leave it alone. He really was. But then he saw your eyes quickly scan Alejandro as if checking for injuries when he wasn’t looking. Then how Alejandro was still gentle when he grabbed onto your arm to escort you out.

“Colonel, wait.” Your eyes shot over to Rudy who couldn’t seem to keep your gaze. “She did talk. Can we speak privately?”

“Rudy.” You gritted out roughly and Alejandro’s hand tightened its hold on you. “Don’t.”

“Please Ale it’s important.” You swear if looks could kill Rudy would be so far underground. Alejandro looked between you, Rudy and soap before gesturing for soap to let go which he did. Alejandro sat you back in your chair and the both of them followed Rudy out.

“Rodolfo! Don’t you dare!” You screamed after him as the door clicked shut behind them.

You felt like you were going to be sick, after everything you’ve done to keep it a secret it was gonna be exposed just like that because you trusted Rudy. Which in hindsight maybe wasn’t the best idea but after so many years of not seeing a face you trusted your gut just told you to speak to him.

It was so quiet now in your cell. You were so tired, there was no more fight left in you. You followed Valeria around like a puppy on a short leash, doing anything and everything she asked you even when your morals told you it was wrong. One click of her phone had you scrambling to do what she asked.

You learned very early on of all the connections she had. If she wanted something done or someone killed all she had to do was press a few buttons and things would be done.

Alejandro’s life loomed over you even after all these years. Even after all the time you started losing sight of yourself, your anchor was keeping him safe. Maybe that was why it was so easy for you to give in to Graves. Like a good puppy trained, one threat and you were spilling everything.

It made you sick. You were trained harshly in the military to not give information so easily. To either get rescued or die. But..you couldn’t even consider yourself as part of the military anymore not after going with Valeria.

You could still feel the presence of Graves like he was still right behind you interrogating you. Like your hands were still tied to the chair, breathing through any punches they threw at you until you saw Alejandro being roughly escorted by the room you were in. He didn’t notice you but you noticed him and Graves noticed the drastic change in your eyes.

It took him less then a minute to finally understand what made you tick and immediately he switched his way of doing this. Any time you refused to talk, he would send one of his men to Alejandro’s cell just a few doors down. You’d be able to hear very clearly when he would grunt in pain or when he would fall to the floor and it made your heart ache.

You lasted them doing that only a few more times before you finally gave Graves everything he wanted. Then he left you there for dead, stuck in a room in between 141 and shadow company as both sides shot at each other. The stray bullets landing somewhere near you.

You hoped that one would bounce just right and take you out. But unfortunately the world wouldn’t be so kind and in the next moment Alejandro rounded the corner, stopping short when he saw you.

He had clenched his jaw tight then and grabbed a zip tie he found somewhere. He cut you loose but immediately cuffed your hands together and you couldn’t even put up a fight as he grabbed your arm tightly and started dragging you down the halls with them.

That’s how you ended up here you suppose.

You weren’t even sure how much time had passed since Rudy decided he was going to reveal everything to Alejandro but a few minutes later the door opened quietly and the man himself walked in, lips sealed shut much like yours.

He didn’t say anything as he walked over to you and pulled out his knife. You watched him carefully as he came closer and closer and just when you were about to be worried he cut the zip tie and let your hands loose.

You immediately brought them up to your chest so you could rub away the soreness and keep a close eye on him but he wouldn’t meet your gaze instead he stopped at the door, “make sure she doesn’t do anything. We’re taking Valeria into custody. We'll be back later tonight.” He informed one of his men who nodded sharply.

“Rudy told you everything?” You finally asked and Alejandro turned his head slightly to acknowledge that he heard you but never did respond. Just continued out the door which closed softly behind him. “God damn it Rudy.”

—

When he had said he was going to be back later that night you didn’t expect that to mean some god forsaken hour of the night. You waited as long as you could, pacing your small room after finally being let free but after a while there really was nothing to do but sit and wait.

And you waited. And waited.

Until your eyes couldn’t wait anymore. You rested your head on the table for what you told yourself would just be a short nap but then your eyelids continued to grow heavier and you slept until Alejandro returned.

When he did finally return he sent his own men to bed when he noticed the tired look in their eyes. He really needed to give them a day off soon. “You want me to come with you?” Rudy asked when the last of the men were gone.

Alejandro glanced between him and the door before shaking his head softly. “Nah. This is something I have to confront on my own. Get some rest.” Rudy gave him a short nod and parted ways while Alejandro quietly entered the room, noticing your sleeping form immediately.

It made his chest squeeze to see you so vulnerable. It made him wonder how long it’s been since you felt comfortable enough to even do something as simple as falling asleep.

He quietly moved the other chair closer to you and leaned his head against the table just so he could admire you in peace for a little longer. You really never changed in his eyes.

He watched silently while your eyes fluttered open, taking a minute to adjust to what was in front of you before your eyes widened and you sat straight up. Very much wide awake.

Alejandro let out a sigh as he slowly sat up as well, the once soft expression now wiped from his face. You glanced at him every few seconds as the silence consumed you.

He just watched you and you were starting to wonder if he was ever going to talk. After a long silence that seemed almost like a challenge you finally broke first when you could no longer take his piercing eyes burning holes into you.

“Why didn’t you take me into custody with Valeria?” You knew you could usually hold out longer but it was him staring at you. It was easier to ignore when more of the men were in here because that way you could feel all eyes on you. But his alone was starting to hurt.

Alejandro crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. “Because I’m not taking you into custody. Rudy did tell me everything.” You looked away from him, nodding. “I can’t accept what you did even if it was you protecting someone you love.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion slightly at his choice of words. “What?” You muttered softly.

“The things you did. Do you think the person you loved would forgive you if they learned you did all of that in the name of protecting them?” Your throat dried as you stared at him. “You killed innocent people.”

“I never killed anyone.” You snapped and his eyebrows raised. He uncrossed his arms to lean against the table again, motioning for you to continue. “Valeria had men for that. I was in charge of moving the shipments. To keep her identity safe.”

Alejandro was quiet and you could see the way he was trying to process your words. “I was put on the front line, my life was at risk but I never killed anyone. How little do you think of me?” At this he glared at you and opened his mouth as if he was going to argue but he just shook his head and stood up to make his way to the door.

“I’ll be sure to let Rudy know.” He stated while he reached for the handle.

“What the hell does Rudy have to do with this?” You demanded as you stood abruptly from your seat. “Did he not tell you everything?”

He paused, “he told me you were doing it to protect someone you loved, he didn’t tell me who. But you only wanted to speak to him so I put two and two together.” You stood there in utter shock. You felt like wringing his neck.

How clueless could he be even after all this time?

“It wasn’t because of Rudy I did all of that.” You clenched your hands tightly at your sides and Alejandro finally turned to you again but didn’t say anything. Another challenging silence fell between you before your anger got the best of you. “How stupid are you Alejandro?”

“Que?” He rounded on you quickly gripping onto your wrist when you tried backing away. He cornered you against the wall closest to you, caging you there as he leveled you with a harsh glare. “You think you can talk to me like that?”

You were almost positive your heart may just stop beating all together. He had your wrist in one hand pressed against the wall and his other gripped your upper arm making sure you stayed there.

You opened your mouth to respond but no words would come out. “Come on, you had so much to say just a few minutes ago.” He sneered, bringing his face closer to yours to where you had no space left. His entire body was practically pushed against you and you could feel every muscle on his body.

You only stood in shock for a second more before you returned his glare. “Yes because what makes you think it was Rudy?!” You felt his hold loosen just ever so slightly but his glare never let up. “Why for all these years have you continued to be blind?”

“Then help me see. Just fucking tell me the reason.” He pushed against you slightly like he was trying to shove you into the wall more

“Rudy already told you everything.” You spat bringing your face just that much closer. “I can’t help you see something that’s been right in front of you this whole time!”

Alejandro tsked before his body was gone and he was already several steps towards the door again but he didn’t pause at the handle, it looked almost like he needed to put distance between you both.

“I want to hear it from your mouth!” He shouted, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “Why is it so hard for you to tell me? Haven’t you trusted me before?”

“This has nothing to do with trust.” You rubbed at the wrist he had in his grasp. “I’m doing it to protect-“

“Protect who?!” He took a few steps closer to you again

“It doesn’t matter-“

“Who did you do this for?! Who did you throw your whole life away for?!”

“I did it for you, pendejo!”

Your breathing was heavy as you stared at him. The confession was like a bomb going off in the middle of a battlefield. Something that was so loud it left your ears ringing from the aftermath.

Before you could even register, Alejandro had crossed the space again in a few steps. He wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you into him while his other hand went to cup the side of your head, hands entangling in the strands of your hair as he brought you to him.

He kissed you heatedly, keeping you tight against him when you made a noise of surprise. Even still you couldn’t help but notice how kissing him in real life couldn’t ever compare to all the dreams you’ve allowed yourself to have.

You felt the roughness of his beard against your own face as you brought your hands up to his chest where you could feel his heart beating just as hard as yours.

He pushed you back against the wall as he moved from your lips to leave heated kisses down your neck forcing you to arch into him with a moan. The hand on your waist wrapped around the small of your back to keep you in that arch against him. You could feel the heat of his palm through the layers of clothes you had on and it made you want more.

“Ale.” You whimpered and immediately felt him stop. He pulled away slowly to look you in the eyes which you were sure were hazy from the moment. “What?”

He had a look in his eyes you couldn’t place. Something so much deeper than you were expecting. He took in a shaky breath, “I didn’t think I was ever going to hear you say my name like that again.” He whispered almost breathless.

The hand in your hair moved down to cup your jaw softly while the two of you kept eye contact. “Rudy told you everything didn’t he?”

Instead of answering he kissed you again this time softer before pulling back only an inch to mutter his next request against your bruised lips. “Stay with me. We can protect you.” He felt you take a sharp breath. “I can protect you.”

“Ale-“

“Let me protect you mí amor.”

Your hands clenched against his chest and looked away from his intense gaze. “Your higher ups wouldn’t allow that to happen.”

“If you’re worried about 141 and Sheperd don’t. Shepherd is AWOL he can’t tell me shit on what to do with you.” He informed and you could feel his hand start rubbing your back soothingly. “You gave up everything to protect my life. Let me do this for you now.”

You searched his eyes looking for anything that would tell you he’s lying but there was nothing but love. “Okay.” You said softly and could practically feel his grin before he closed the gap once again and brought you to him.

~~

Months later you would find yourself in his room on base while he was away training. He practically forced you to stay with him and by that you meant he held you tight in his embrace anytime he was with you and it made you never want to leave. And he never made you.

You found out that Alejandro loved you as well, since the beginning. You remembered when you finally broke down in his arms one night when he admitted that he never stopped loving you.

You apologized over and over but he just cradled you in his arms and whispered sweet compliments in Spanish until you calmed down and he carried you to the bed you shared and held you even closer for the rest of the night.

He wasn’t lying when he said he was going to protect you. He did everything in his power to protect you even from your own mind.

It’s all you could think about as you roamed his room, wearing one of his shirts while you cleaned. You were so lost in thought you didn’t hear his door open and close softly until arms wrapped around you and you were pulled into a sturdy chest.

“Hola, mi amor.” Alejandro kissed your neck softly, smiling when he felt you melt into his arms. “Is this my shirt?”

You felt his hand grab onto the hem of the shirt while he continued kissing you neck. You titled your head away to give him more access and gave him a small hum in confirmation.

“You should wear it more often.” He murmured against your neck while he laid his palm flat against your stomach to pull you closer to him. His lips traveled up to the shell of your ear where he whispered, “come to bed with me. I’m so tired.”

You laughed softly. This whole thing felt like a dream. You didn’t know how you got so lucky for him to let you stay like this.

Though it was a slow process and he was still working through forgiving you for everything and you were working through everything you had been through you truly don’t think you have ever been happier.

“I’m cleaning.” He groaned when you started unwrapping his arms but he just grabbed your waist and twisted you around so you were facing each other. “Ale.”

“I’m just relishing in your presence Princesa.” He smirked while trailing his fingers down the side of your bare thighs.

You chuckled again and kissed his lips shortly, smirking when he chased after your lips for more. “Well you can relish in it still by helping me.” You stepped away and he groaned.

“Okay okay.” But he still couldn’t keep his eyes off you the whole time.

[chelseeebe]

wherever you stray (i follow)

more apocalypse au! yayyy

i actually really am enjoying writing this bc it’s so different.. i haven’t really decided if it’s zombies or UD related but i guess it’s not explicitly mentioned yet.. anyway, there may or may not be an appearance from someone from steve’s past.. we’ll have to see

i’m sorry everything is taking so long.. it’s the festive period and i am working like crazy while also trying to see my friends and acc enjoy the time so my writing time is limited

as always, 18+.

₊ ⊹

steve had never expected life on the road to be so.. fun?

he feels weird even thinking about it because in all honesty, the shit you’d both endured while on this journey had been anything but fun. he thinks, or rather knows, that if it were anyone else but you, he’d have turned back a long time ago.

you’re not easy on him by any means, coaxing him into walking to the next town over after he’d already proclaimed he was done for the night and making him open the scary doors while you stood poised. nevertheless, he enjoyed it.

that was until now, when everything was flipped on its head and you were the one begging to call it a night.

‘steve,’ you warn from somewhere behind him. he barely glances back, keeping on hobbling forward. his leg was throbbing, the pain searing up to his thigh, but he’d never tell you that.

steve had got caught up in some barbed wire a few days ago, the sharp metal had torn his leg to shreds. it was an almighty wound that had set you back a couple of days in the schedule. you’d been petrified of tetanus, asking him hourly if he was sure that he’d had his vaccinations, tenderly prodding the painful area as you muttered a plethora of symptoms of infection.

there wasn’t really much he could do except bandage it up and hope he didn’t die. maybe a few years ago he would’ve freaked the hell out over it but now he’d realised that that never helped anybody. it especially would not help you.

‘i’m fine,’ he grits, stopping to turn and look at you. your face painted with the deepest frown, arms crossed over your chest. it was reminiscent of his mother, how she’d stand a the kitchen table when he’d come home with yet another black eye. except he felt you actually cared, she had just wanted an explanation.

‘no you’re not,’ you assert, as if you knew him better than himself. hey, after this maybe you did. ‘there’s a perfectly good house here.. we can rest for a while and i can check your leg,’ you bargain with him, trying the puppy dog eye technique that very often won him over.

steve holds his hands up, he wasn’t going to let you win this one, not after he had been the sole reason you guys were so behind. ‘i’m okay.. i don’t need to rest, i’ve got at least another two miles in me,’ toothy grin on full display.

‘i’m not going back and forth with you, we’re stopping here for the night.’

he sighs as you stomp angrily up to him, ‘i am fine.. no we’re not. why don’t you just believe me?’

steve thinks he sees hell in your eyes, the scorn of the devil written all over your face, ‘because i love you and i don’t want you to lose your fucking leg for the sake of two extra miles,’ your brows knotted together in pure rage.

he doesn’t respond, decides it’s better for his health not to. rather just nodding, letting you guide him towards the, hopefully, derelict house. your words ring around his head, echoing loudly as you do all of the heavy lifting, checking the house and ensuring there were no nasty surprises.

love.

you said you love him.

he wouldn’t ever admit to it, but he’d been toying with the same thought for at least two weeks now. deciding over and over again that it couldn’t possibly be love, it was too soon. he was just.. infatuated, or something.

but hearing the words straight from your mouth solidified his feelings.

the moment you clear one of the upstairs bedrooms and bundle him inside, his grin is unstoppable. reaching his eyes as he just stands staring, waiting for you to finish barricading the damn door before he speaks.

‘what?’ you question, startled by his stillness, ‘what are you looking at?’

‘what d’you say outside?’ he doesn’t take his eyes off of you even as you rush around, checking the windows and then slinging the heavy bag into the floor.

you blink back at him until it clicks, ‘wha- oh,’ your cheeks burn, suddenly much more interested in the room than him, ‘please don’t.’

‘you said you love me,’ steve beams, ignoring your warning though he’d probably regret it.

‘steve, i didn’t-,’

he cuts you off before you can even finish, not allowing you to play the bashful game, ‘you didn’t mean it? i don’t believe you,’ his unfaltering smile still occupying his entire face, right up to his eyes.

you punch his arm, now stood directly in front of him, ‘i didn’t mean to say it like that,’ your own smile inches onto your lips, he’s almost begging you to let it out, ‘i thought it’d be a little more romantic than this,’ gesturing towards the rundown house you stood in.

‘i don’t think romance exists anymore,’ his arms snake around your waist, pulling you closer as you use his shoulders for leverage, ‘say it again.’

you groan, hands coming to connect around his grubby neck, ‘do i have to?’

‘yes.’

steve adores how diffident you become, ducking your head down before the words form and the very quietly squeaking out a tiny, ‘i love you.’

it’s enough for him, his grin growing tenfold, ‘i love you too,’ bumping his nose against yours, drawing your attention back to his face rather than the splintered floorboards.

what’s left of the pale sunlight reflects off of your eye, practically glimmering at him, ‘i know,’ you giggle quietly, ‘you said it in your sleep the other night..’

his smile drops, ‘what? you weren’t supposed to find out like that,’ sighing softly, his stupid, drugged up brain had let it slip before he even had the chance to.

you respond by pressing your sweet lips to his, god he wishes he had some chapstick. you deserve more than his cracked lips.

far more than this world could offer you.

though he would certainly try his hardest.

-

steve normally took first watch because he knew if he didn’t, you’d never wake him up for his shift, rather letting him sleep all night but tonight he doesn’t argue. his leg hurts too much to waste time going back and forth with you.

it’s only when he wakes up to a room full of sunlight that he starts to question how long he’d been out. there’s an echo of his name coming from somewhere, still too encompassed by sleep to figure out what the hell was going on.

‘look who’s finally awake,’ the voice starts but it’s not you.

you’re not next to him either, his arms cradle the pillow where your body should’ve been. that’s when he turns, the bedroom door flung open and a familiar figure looms in the doorway.

‘tommy?’ he croaks out, sitting up against the headboard.

what the hell was happening?

you’re nowhere to be seen, the makeshift barricade pushed back against the wall rather than where it should’ve been. his mind instantly flashes to the worst case scenario, you’ve been taken or tommy has done something to you.

holy shit.

‘stevie! i didn’t know if you’d recognise me,’ tommy leers, still lingering in the doorway, hand poised on his gun.

steve hadn’t seen the boy in years at this point, not properly. they passed each other in the halls but after the whole ordeal with jonathan in the alley, they hadn’t spoke since. which steve was eternally grateful for, the red head was in simple terms, an asshole. there was no part of him that wanted to be involved with people like that.

‘what the hell are you doing here?’ steve questions, voice still heavy with sleep.

god he hopes this is just a bad dream and any second now, he’ll wake up and you’ll be by his side.

tommy’s face drops in faux-offence, ‘c’mon man, is that any way to treat an old friend?’ the side of his lips curling up. he always was a horrible person, provoking people til they had no choice but to respond.

‘how’d you know i was here?’ he asks, deciding not to mention you on the off chance you had just run off and tommy had no idea of your existence.

‘i was searchin’ houses.. thought you’d be smarter than this man, sleepin’ with no protection,’ his eyes fall to steve’s leg, eyebrows raised with opportunity, ‘and you’re hurt,’ the boy tuts, ‘this should be easy then.’

steve stiffens up, his bag was on the floor next to the bed, there’s no chance he’s faster than tommy.. he’d never get it in time.

it’s then that steve’s eyes flit to you, appearing silently behind tommy in the doorway. his heart drops. you were alive. tommy clocks on immediately, eyes following steve’s gaze to your looking figure behind. but before he can turn around fully, the baseball bat connects with his cranium, his body falling to the floor with a mighty thump.

you stand staring at the lifeless body for a moment, chest heaving as you step over him and over to the bed. wide-eyed and trembling, god knows how much of that you heard.

‘oh my god you’re okay,’ steve starts, reaching up to hold onto your cheeks, ‘i thought something had happened.. jesus christ where were you?’ he’s trying not to sound like such an overbearing mother but it’s not exactly working.

‘your leg was hot.. i went to go find medicine, i barricaded it from the other side but i didn’t think that asshole would show up,’ your hand caresses his atop of your cheek, ‘i got the medicine though,’ you look somewhat hopeful, pulling the bottle from your pocket and presenting it to him.

once steve has calmed down a little, he takes two of whatever it is, looking nervously at his ex-friend still on the floor, ‘i can’t believe you killed him..’ he trails off, even if he didn’t particularly like tommy, he didn’t want him dead.

your face screws up, pausing as you shove your belongings into your rucksack, ‘he’s not dead steve,’ you state, features contorted as you glare at him.

‘oh,’ he chuckles awkwardly, relief washing over him. ‘well shit,’ a smile twitches at the corner of his lips, taking over when you shake your head in disappointment. look, he wasn’t the brightest, never had been.

‘he’s probably gonna wake up soon so we need to get the hell outta’ here,’ you frown, glancing at the lifeless body.

you trundle over, taking the man’s gun from his hand, patting his pockets for anymore concealed weapons he may have. pulling a small switchblade from his back pocket, steve recognises it immediately. he’d been there when tommy had carved his and carol’s initials into some old tree in the woods by school. he wonders if it’s still there now.

‘how d’you know this guy anyway?’ you ask, slipping the knife into your own pocket. he watches dubiously, he’d never been a thief.

‘we were best friends..’ he swallows, maybe he had left some things out about his life before the end of the world. there’s no way to explain why they drifted apart other than to admit to how cruel he once was. ‘just drifted, you know?’ it wasn’t exactly a lie and he’s not sure you’d even care but now didn’t feel like the appropriate time to admit to all of his wrongdoings.

you nod, slinging your bag over your shoulder, ‘sucks.. but i’m not gonna lie, he didn’t seem like a great person,’ shrugging as steve finds his feet, getting off of the bed for the first time in hours.

‘he wasn’t,’ again, not a lie.

you hum in response and steve looks to the floor. he wasn’t keen on discussing the ins and outs of his friendship with tommy hagan right now. or ever really.

-

the rest of the journey up here had been pretty non-eventful. his leg was healing nicely and he was able to walk for at least another hour without complaining out loud. most people had obviously found communities, not daring to go out in the road anymore.

without mention of the run in with tommy, it had just been just the two of you. well you and the grotesque, rotting monsters that roamed around the forest. he thinks the cold must slow them down as your gun goes, mostly, unused.

steve has never seen you look quite so excited. the moment you’d crossed the boundary into your town, you’d been babbling nonstop about where you grew up. pointing out important locations and silly details about things he couldn’t even picture. his eyes instinctively roll when you mention the now decrepit diner you had your first date. he can’t help it.

it’s only when you near what he assumes is your neighbourhood that you quiet down, holding onto his hand with an iron clad grip. your nails dig into the grime covered skin when you spot the gargantuan make-shift wall up in front. he doesn’t squirm or pull away, instead he whispers a small it’s okay as you near the cul-de-sac.

‘what if they’re not there?’ you ask, shrinking into yourself.

he doesn’t have the right words to assure you but he’ll try his hardest, ‘then.. then we’ll find them.’ he hasn’t a clue what lies on the other side of that wall, perhaps the people behind it weren’t friendly and you’d never find out or maybe there weren’t even any people left.

but you’ll find out together and that’s all that matters.

someone’s head pokes over the top of the wall, gun poised at steve’s head. they must be stupid if they think he’s the one they should be scared of.

‘stop right there, don’t come any closer,’ the heavily armed woman shouts down, ‘what do you want?’

steve looks to you, unsure if he should even attempt to speak right now. his fingers squeeze yours for silent reassurance, there’s a voice above but he can’t see who it’s coming from, tucked behind the wall as they inevitably discuss your fate.

‘i used to live here,’ you speak, just loud enough for the first woman to peer down at you. she looks back towards the other mystery voice and then another face appears, eyes like saucers when they spot you.

‘open the gate,’ she orders, ‘open the gate now!’ barking at the other lady who jumps to it.

steve stands in quiet wonderment, glancing back at you with your mouth hung open. so you must know each other. or is that your mom? now he truly understands how you must’ve felt coming out of that nurses office to a bunch of strangers.

but you don’t let go of his hand when the gate creaks open just enough to let the two of you through. the houses are all more or less how he imagined they’d looked before everything started.

‘oh my god,’ you sputter out, dropping his hand to jog over to the faceless woman, throwing your arms around her neck as she pulls you in.

you don’t look particularly similar but steve has no idea what your parents look like. he wasn’t quite so prepared to meet the parents though he’d had weeks and weeks to think about what to say.

who even is he? not your boyfriend. yet. maybe it just wouldn’t be brought up in the midst of all the reunions.

he knows you love each other, you’d said that much, that he’d hobbled across state lines for you and would do just about anything to make sure you were safe so, did labels even matter in the apocalypse?

‘i can’t believe you’re here,’ the lady cries, still wrapped up in your arms. the locals are looking on with a mixture of confused and joyous looks on their faces.

‘neither can i,’ you sniff, pulling back and looking at her, hands still firmly on her arms. ‘are they here?’ you rush out excitedly, full of hope.

the woman’s, who is still yet to be introduced to, face falls, her voice dropping an octave as she speaks, ‘baby..’ she tremors through the sentence. ‘they left to go and find you.. i don’t- they haven’t come back..’

your smile drops immediately, steve’s heart sinks. he couldn’t begin to imagine how you felt. the pair of you had made it across multiple states, lived through steve’s injury and evil past friends for nothing.

he supposes that it wasn’t for nothing exactly. despite the bickering and rumbling stomachs, it had brought the two of you closer.

now his heart breaks the way yours does when you bury your face into his chest, shoulders shaking as you wet his already ruined shirt.

-

the next few hours are a blur of introductions, meeting people you called neighbour not so long ago. the now-identified woman was called janet, who had told him all about how they fortified the neighbourhood and their efforts to keep everyone alive. they’d done something similar to the school, kept the water system running so they could clean and drink and hoarded supplies the second they realised the army weren’t coming for them.

this was followed by a tour of the place and then your house. it had been left untouched in the hopes that your parents would come back eventually. dusty pictures of you in school, at college and one he particularly likes of you at christmas, nose scrunched up as you grin into the distance.

maybe he’d snag that one for himself.

it’s only when you bundle him into your room that you really let go. sobbing in his arms on your bed. surrounded by a time capsule of the past. if it felt weird for him, it must be utterly awful for you.

‘i thought they’d be here,’ you choke through tears, ‘they were supposed to be here,’ fingers grabbing at his biceps.

steve’s not known for his quick thinking but he realises there’s not much else he can say. the situation would seem hopeless to most but he wasn’t letting you give up now. not after you’d dragged him thousands of miles to get here.

‘you were at college in indiana, right?’

it’s enough for you to stop crying and look up at him through your wet lashes, ‘yeah.. why?’

you had never really spoken about college. he knew you went to college in indianapolis, that was obvious from the ratty letterman jacket you’d been wearing when he stumbled upon your camp, but that was about it.

‘so we go back to indiana,’ his fingers tangle in your hair, unsure if a smile would be completely inappropriate.

‘steve.. we-,’ you go to object but he can see the cogs turning in your brain, it’s the only sensible suggestion either of you had. ‘you would do that?’

this is where he smiles, the corners of his mouth twitching upward, ‘of course,’ he’s not even sure why it’s even a question.

he’d do anything, traipse after you to the ends of the earth if you asked. hell, he’d do it even if you didn’t.

he continues on, ‘we’re in this together now.. like, forever,’ pressing his forehead to yours, thumb coming to swipe over your sodden cheek.

there’s hope, or at least a tinge of optimism back in your eye, ‘forever?’

steve nods, caressing your dirtied face as if it were precious porcelain, ‘is that alright with you?’

maybe, in a roundabout way, that was him asking you if you’d be his girlfriend. he knows he probably should ask properly but he’s sure you know.

it’s contagious, his smile, your lips curving as you blink slowly, ‘sounds good to me.’

that night, you’re fully relaxed, a kind of placid state that steve hadn’t seen since the school. normally, you’re on high alert even in bed. your muscles stiff as you let him sleep. but this time, he lets you drift off first.

his fingers glide through your now clean hair, eyelids fluttering shut on his chest. he thinks you might even start purring.

instead, your breaths get deeper, and slower until you no longer even murmur in response to whatever he was saying. and eventually, steve drifts off too. relieved that you can both sleep tonight, both feeling a sense of security that hadn’t been there for weeks.

-

steve awakens suddenly at what he determines the middle of the night, your palms clammy as they grab hurriedly onto his chest. you’re panting, desperately trying to steady your breath when his arms tighten around your shoulders.

‘what’s wrong?’ he asks, still in that confusing transition between sleep and awake, his eyes struggle to adjust to the dark room.

you exhale, the outline of your face suddenly begins to form, ‘i had a bad dream, i’m sorry,’ chin pointed upwards. your face is wet, eyes glossy with tears.

‘it’s okay.. it’s okay,’ he soothes, heart still pounding rapidly even after he knows no creatures have mattered down the door and had a chomp on your leg.

you swallow loudly, still gazing up at him when his head rests back on the pillow. ‘i love you,’ you squeak into the quiet night, the third time he’d ever heard it tumble out of your lips.

it mostly went unspoken. coming through in little gestures, feeding him his medicine or scratching your nails into his scalp the nights the pain was too much to sleep. he liked it that way. as if your love was only for the two of you.

this world didn’t deserve to witness that.

[swiftsdelucaa]

oooh oooh can I request something for greys anatomy?

Dr. Derek McDreamy x fem reader!

Maybe reader is a toxicologist and works with toxins and how they effect living organisms. Derek and reader meet because reader is helping identify a toxin that was found in one of their paitents. The rest can be up to you?

(just in case it needed to be addressed a toxicologist still holds the Dr. title, so dr l/n)

❛ 𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒚 ❜

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Derek Shepherd x reader ♡

𝘼/𝙣: I did some research for some details, I hope you'll enjoy this! :)

Derek Shepherd, one of the most famous and brilliant neurosurgeons in the world. How can anyone not admire him? Everything he did could also be done with his eyes closed, who wouldn't want to have his talent?

Well, other than that, if you watched him you might end up melting.

He could exterminate any tumor or aneurysm, anything, yet something was wrong. When he came to ask you for a consultation you didn't believe it. It was a patient who had been under treatment for two weeks now, for epilepsy attacks, and the situation was getting worse. You did every exam you could, but a mystery remained.

This was all getting more stressful, but on the bright side, you got to know each other better. You can also understand each other immediately. Like if this was destiny...

"How is going today?" you asked him as soon as you entered the room.

"It's getting worse day by day, and I still haven't figured out what's wrong" he said in frustration putting a hand on his forehead. You sat next to him.

"What if it didn't concern the brain? We focused only on that" you said looking at the tests done.

"Maybe... But we should find out where it comes from and we don't have enough tests" he added.

Let's say you weren't one to give up right away, it was one of the perks of your job. You wouldn't let yourself give up until you found the problem, no matter how long it took.

"Holy shit" Derek stood abruptly.

"What?"

"I have to go, it's a 911" you understood it was your patient.

When Derek returned you started scanning and checking again, and the day seemed to go by faster. He left, disappointed again. You stayed there all night, and decided to go with your instincts and run exams everywhere.

When you finally found the problem it was like a dream.

"Doctor Shepherd!!!" you stood up as soon as he arrived, with a huge smile on your face and holding up the papers in your hand.

"No- You've-" he stopped in near disbelief.

"Yes, I have!" he began to smile too.

"Hepatic encephalopathy. It is a toxin that originates from the liver and disturbs its functioning, probably it must have been spread in the blood and may have reached the brain, damaging it. The symptoms coincide, I checked everything. It is not very easy to diagnose, but with all the exams we have, we finally made it!" he hugged you.

"For the cure we'll have to prescribe him a therapy" you added after detached yourself from him. "But now I absolutely need a coffee" you said dropping into the chair.

"You deserve it!" he said giving you a McDreamy smile.

After recovering, you went to the patient's room and began to explain the case to him. With the time and patience, if the therapy manages to have a positive effect, hopefully a speedy recovery.

While all the two of you needed was some rest and quieter days.

Towards evening, you returned to your studio to pack your things to going home.

"Hey" Derek walked over to you leaning against the edge of the door.

"Hey, everything okay?" you asked him.

"Yes yes, now I'll go home too" you smiled at him and settled the last things.

"Doctor l/n" he caught your attention. You looked up at him.

"Are you free to go out some time?" you were surprised by his question.

"It's a date?" you asked approaching him.

"Maybe..."

"Umh, yes, I'd like... McDreamy" you smiled at him.

"Wow, since when all this confidence?" he asked ironically. You just laughed as he looked at you and your eyes met.

"Well, see you Y/n"

[writeforfandoms]

Warrior Song 8

Find the series masterlist

Again: playing fast and loose with canon. Noteably with AIs and how they operate or don’t operate over distances. Also, I am not a medical professional, so y’know. Keep that in mind.

We hit our first major road bump since the fall of the Infinity. 

Warnings: violence, blood, questionable medical advice, swearing, some lack of self-value, Feelings, sweetness at the end. 

Word count: 2.7k

The next few days were quiet. Eventually, you had gone back to the Pelican, Fernando had apologized, and the lot of you had gone on your way to the next clue. 

Nobody brought up the cuddle pollen again. 

“Anything new?” you asked Joy idly. The AI had connected to your tablet to help keep track of things in multiple places at once, so you’d taken her along with you to gather up water. The stream you’d tested was clear and drinkable, so you were busy refilling water bottles and big containers to haul back to the Pelican. 

“Not yet,” Joy said, using the speakers on your tablet. “So far this place is pretty quiet!”

“I can’t tell if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” you drawled. 

“Wait.” Joy was quiet for a few moments. “I’ll update you later.” And she was gone, attention pulled to whatever was going on with Blue Team. 

Unease churned in your gut, but you figured she’d let you know if there was anything you could do to help. So you just finished up with your task, taking the refilled water bottles back to the Pelican before you and Fernando team lifted the water tanks. 

“We’ll have to head back to base soon,” Fernando puffed as you two shoved a water tank back onto the ship. “Getting low on fuel.”

“I’m surprised it took this long,” you agreed with a little huff. “I feel like we must have traversed half the ring by now.”

“Not quite,” Fernando said, shoving the tank back into place. “But close. And still no closer to having answers.”

You hummed, taking a seat. “Well, either they’ll find answers, or there aren’t answers to find anymore.” You shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe the part of the ring that got blown up, or whatever, is the part that had the answers. Maybe they don’t exist anymore.” 

“Would be nice if that’s that easy.” Fernando sighed. “Never seems to be, though.”

You hummed, tipping your head back against the wall of the Pelican. “Hopefully we’ll get some news soon. All of this is more boring than I thought it would be.”

“That’s because you missed all the fireworks,” Fernando said, sinking down into the seat next to yours. “That first week was…”

“A lot?” you suggested gently. 

“That’s one way to put it.” Fernando sighed. “Come on, one more tank to move. Let’s get it done.”

“Alright, alright.” You stood again and stretched your arms up over your head. Then you followed Fernando outside and got to work. 

You didn’t hear anything, didn’t see anything. One minute you were helping carry the tank of water, the next there was a boom and your leg collapsed out from under you. Fernando yelled, scrambling for his gun, and you blinked stupidly for a moment. 

And then the chittering of Jackals caught your attention, and you decided now would be a good time to move. Only your leg wouldn’t support your weight, and you crumpled with a shout. 

Fernando fired off two quick shots, kneeling next to you. “Can you move?” he asked, keeping his weapon raised and trained on where you assumed the Jackals had been. 

“No.” You clenched your jaw tight, pain lancing up your leg as you tried to move. A quick look showed blood. A lot of blood. A through and through shot, maybe. 

“Okay. This is gonna suck.” Fernando took one hand off his gun to haul your arm up and over his shoulders. And then he stood, dragging you with him. For a moment, the pain was so intense you feared you’d scream or black out, but you did neither. Just breathed harshly through your teeth and tried your best to keep your weight off the injured leg. 

Fernando fired again twice more, swearing near constantly under his breath. “Almost there,” he huffed. 

Your eyelids fluttered, attention fractured between the agony in your leg and the boom of shots being exchanged across the new battlefield. 

“Almost there,” Fernando muttered again. Two more shots - one from the other side, one from him. And then the two of you stumbled into the interior of the Pelican and he slammed the button to close the ramp. 

You fell to the floor with a high whine, panting through the pain. Logically, you knew this was bad. It certainly felt bad. 

“Joy, I need help here!” Fernando hit the floor next to you, hands hovering over you. “Oh shit. That’s a lot of blood.” 

“Press down,” you wheezed, pushing up on your hands to sit up. “Need the rags.” 

“You need biofoam,” Fernando objected, shaking his head, eyes wide. 

“No.” The vehemence in your own voice surprised you. “Save it. Only have two.” You took a deep breath, fighting through the pain and the shock.  You’d never been shot before. It hurt, a lot more than you thought. “Medical crate.” 

Fernando grabbed the crate and dragged it over, throwing the lid somewhere. He grabbed one of the biofoam canisters and you slapped his hand away. 

“Not for me,” you insisted, shaking. “Rags, under the exit wound. On top. Press hard.” 

“You need–”

“Listen to me.” You grabbed his hand with your blood-slicked one, holding hard. “Stop the bleeding. No biofoam. Not for me. Too precious.” 

“Joy, where the hell is my backup?” Fernando yelled, freeing his hand to put the biofoam injector down and grab bandages. He packed a few under your thigh, under the exit wound, and you keened when he had to move you. 

“On their way back,” Joy finally answered, sounding about as stressed as you had ever heard. 

“Press hard,” you reminded Fernando, taking several fast breaths. He pressed hard and you stuffed your wrist into your mouth to muffle your shriek. 

“This is not good,” Joy said. “You’re losing blood fast.”

“Just let me use the biofoam,” Fernando practically begged, though he didn’t let up on the pressure. 

“Steady pressure,” you reiterated. “It will stop.” You laid back, starting to feel woozy. “I haven’t bled out yet. Probably not an artery.”

“You are insane,” Fernando snapped. “Fucking insane.” But his hands didn’t let up at all. “Can’t I use some of that powder stuff?”

You shook your head, clenching your hands into fists. “Too deep,” you murmured. “Won’t help. Pressure.”

“Yes, keep pressure, stop the bleeding, I got it.” Fernando was sounding even more freaked out though. “You’re not passing out, are you?”

“Not yet.” You hissed out a breath as he leaned harder on your thigh. “You’re doing great.” 

“Do not tell me I’m doing great while you’re refusing the best treatment, you–” He broke off to swear in Spanish. 

“It’s fine,” you assured him, closing your eyes. “We’ll worry about stitches later.”

“Stitches?!” His voice climbed at least an octave on the word. 

“You’ll do great.” You opened your eyes again, feeling a little blurry. “We can risk some of the… the tea.”

“What’s the risk?” Fernando didn’t move yet, watching you like a hawk.

“Need to stay awake,” you mumbled. “Just hand me one.”

He hissed out another slew of curses but shifted his weight to one hand, pressing down hard enough that you whined. His free hand grabbed a vial of the tea and handed it to you, blood smeared all over the vial. It was a struggle to sit up enough to drink some and not just slosh it all over yourself, but you managed. 

More shots fired outside caught both your attention and Fernando scrambled for the gun. 

“It’s Blue Team,” Joy was quick to say as the ramp started to lower. “I’m letting them in.”

“Thank fuck.” Fernando dropped the gun again, refocusing on you. 

Chief was the first one in, dropping to his knees next to you. “Status,” he demanded.

“Through and through shot,” you gasped, hands curling weakly. “Didn’t hit an artery, would’ve bled out already. Fernando is doing a great job applying pressure. Next is…” You licked your lips and drew in a deep breath. “Next is stitches.” 

“Use the biofoam.”

“Don’t you dare.” You lifted your head to glare at John. “We only have two.”

“Base has more.” He grabbed one of the canisters. 

“We can’t make more of those,” you argued, trying to push up onto your hands to argue. Kelly knelt behind you, firm hands on your shoulders keeping you down. “They’re valuable.”

“So are you.” John moved Fernando’s hands and injected the biofoam into the wound. You slammed a fist into the floor, both from the pain and frustration. 

“John–” you started before your leg twitched reflexively and you sort of whited out, a little. 

“Isn’t that stuff supposed to be numbing?” Fernando asked anxiously, still hovering next to you. 

“It takes a minute,” Kelly said, voice cool and calm. “The bleeding is already slowing.” 

“They were using an MA40,” Fred reported as he and Linda clomped up the ramp onto the Pelican. “A few stragglers.”

“So just shitty luck,” you wheezed, trying to focus on anything but how much your leg hurt, which really only emphasized how much your leg hurt. 

“We’re going back to base.” John dropped the empty canister to the side and started clearing away the bloody rags. You lifted your head to watch and swallowed. That was a lot of blood that was outside your body. 

“Fluids,” you muttered, almost by rote. “And rest.”

“An excellent prescription,” Kelly agreed smoothly. “One that perhaps you’ll follow.”

“She will.” Fernando scowled at you, although you could see the fear behind the anger. 

You waved a hand limply and let your head thunk back against the floor. “Fine. Couple days off it should be enough.” 

A big hand caught one of yours, holding you gently, like you were delicate. To a Spartan, you kind of were, actually. A quiet conversation took place over your head about moving you to a seat versus leaving you on the floor. You voted for just staying on the floor. 

Apparently someone was still listening to your muttering, because John sat behind you to brace you, letting you lean back against his chest while Linda brought you water. Fernando stood outside long enough to wash off his hands before he stomped into the cockpit and shut the doors. 

You did feel a bit bad about that. 

As the adrenaline wore off and the biofoam did its job, you found yourself leaning harder back against John. He was the only thing keeping you upright, really. 

“We will have a talk about this,” he rumbled in your ear, and, oh, that was his normal voice. Unmodulated. He wasn’t wearing his helmet. You managed to look in his direction, blinking slowly. He was stubbly, just a little. Idly, you wondered how that would feel under your hands. 

“We will?” You finally got your mouth connected to your brain again. 

“Yes.” His jaw clenched for a moment, and you watched the play of muscles under his stubble with absolute fascination. “When you’re lucid.”

“‘M lucid.” You blinked again sluggishly. It was work to peel your eyes back open. 

“Rest for now.” One hand landed on your hip, helping to anchor you in place as the engines whirred to life and the Pelican lifted off.

You grumbled a little. Time blurred. It took much too long between blinks. You felt the Pelican in motion, then landing. Then the clamor of voices, hard armor under you, sudden pain in your thigh as you were lifted. 

Then dim lights and something more or less soft under you. You slowly pushed yourself upright, hissing softly at the residual ache in your thigh. 

“You should be laying down.” 

You blinked at John, wondering briefly how you’d missed him. He was a hulking mass in the corner, dressed down in a slightly too tight shirt and pants. “What time ‘s’it?” 

“0200, approximately.” He shrugged. 

“Why are you still up.” You lifted one hand to rub your eyes, wrinkling your nose at how dry you still felt. 

John was quiet for a few long moments, long enough that you refocused on him. “I needed to keep watch.” 

You almost very stupidly blurted out that you were in camp, why would he need to keep watch? Then you realized. He meant you. Keep watch over you. It was his way of admitting he’d stayed up to make sure you were okay. 

Warmth bloomed in your chest and you smiled, despite yourself. “I’m not dying,” you murmured. 

“Not tonight.” His lips pressed together, briefly distracting you. “You could have.” 

You sighed. “It was a logical choice,” you murmured, shifting your weight very carefully on the bed and letting your hands fall to your lap. “Biofoam is not something we can manufacture or replace here, whereas rags and pain tea are readily available.”

“It’s not the call you would have made if one of us was shot. If Fernando was shot.” 

You hesitated, because you knew he was right. If Fernando had been shot, or John or the others… You would have used the biofoam. Without question. You sighed, shoulders drooping, sinking in on yourself. “You’re right.”

“So why?” He finally stepped closer, his arms dropping to his sides. 

You frowned, struggling with the words for several long moments before you sighed. “You’re critical,” you finally admitted, gaze down. “Fernando is your pilot, you need him. Blue Team are all irreplaceable.” You swallowed hard. “I’m just a medic.” 

“And that makes you more replaceable.” He knelt slowly next to the bed so he could catch your gaze.

“Yes.” You closed your eyes, breathing slowly. “I’ve made some hard calls since we’ve all been stuck here. Sometimes that means someone dies. Sometimes it means just a lot of pain and a slower recovery.” You finally looked at him, throat tight. “I’d rather have the supplies for you, in case you need them. Any of you.” 

John was quiet for several long moments, giving you time to calm down again. “Your reasoning is flawed,” is what he finally said.

“What?” You blinked at him, running through your argument in your mind again. 

“You’re critical, as well.” He leaned in slowly, carefully, only getting close without touching, until he was mostly all you could see. “You’re not just a medic. You’re not replaceable.” 

“John?” You licked your lips, eyes wide, focused entirely on him. 

“I’m not good at this,” he muttered. One hand very slowly closed over yours, sending your pulse racing somehow even faster. 

“Neither am I,” you admitted, barely even daring to breathe. “Don’t tease me. What do you mean?” 

John blew out a slow breath, the only outward sign of his nerves. “You are… special. To me.” His fingers tightened ever so slightly around yours. “I would like to… have more. With you.”

“Like a relationship?” You couldn’t keep the hope out of your voice if someone had paid you. 

“Yes.” He swallowed, holding very still. Waiting for you to decide. 

“I would very much like that.” You smiled, shy and pleased and overwhelmed. “Can I kiss you, John?” 

He considered the question for a moment before he nodded, just slightly. “Yes, ma’am.” 

You freed one hand to cup his jaw - his stubble was a delightful little rasp under your fingers, and you smiled. Slowly, giving him a chance to stop you or pull away, you leaned in, until you could press your lips to his in a chaste kiss.

Your eyes fluttered open again to find the tiniest of smiles on his lips. “How was that?” you asked softly, unwilling to risk this new thing between you.

“Acceptable.” He paused. “Further research will need to be conducted.”

“Of course.” You tamped down on your own grin… mostly. More or less. It was entirely gone when he took the initiative to kiss you again. 

You could have quite happily gotten distracted with kissing him for the rest of the night, except that pain flared in your thigh, reminding you that yes you had gotten shot a matter of hours ago. At your grimace, John frowned a little and started pushing you back to lay down. 

“You need more rest.”

“So do you,” you muttered. “Please get some sleep tonight.”

“I will.” John leaned down to press a very careful kiss to your forehead. “Good night.” 

“Night.” You watched with your heart in your eyes as John rose, as fluidly as if aging wasn’t a thing that existed to him, and left the room. 

Your dreams were surprisingly pleasant, for once.

[lookforanewangle]

wip wednesday - post eddie begins

finally dipping my toe into the 911 fandom! this one is actually almost done, so hopefully I can post in the next week or so 👀

“You care for him.” “Of course I do,” Buck says, gaze back on Eddie against his will. He squeezes Eddie’s hand again. “He’s my best friend.” “That’s not what I meant.” Bobby’s eyes are crinkled at the edges, a knowing look on his face when Buck looks at him this time, frozen. He blanches, heart stuttering in sudden panic. “I—I don’t—Bobby, it-it’s not like that—” “Woah, hey, it’s okay. Whether it is or isn’t like that, I’m glad you have each other,” he says. Buck blinks hard against the sudden sting in his eyes, takes a breath. “You had been pretty down since Abby. But since you and Eddie started hanging out, you seem…happier.” “Yeah, I…I guess I am,” Buck says, slow. And he has been, it’s undeniable. He’s always looking forward to time spent with Eddie, both at work and outside of it, and with both Eddie and Christopher. It’s easy with them, easier than anything else in the world. And…and it’s not that Buck hasn’t thought about Eddie in…less than platonic ways. Buck’s thought maybe a bit too much about the slant of Eddie’s eyebrows, the curve of his jaw, his fingers, the way his smile brightens Buck’s day each and every time he grins. And now he’s thought about losing him, and just what that would do to him. How it would be a wrecking ball straight through Buck’s life. Buck doesn’t know how he would even begin to pick up those pieces. Maybe…maybe it is a little like that. He’s at a loss for words, kneading Eddie’s palm between his fingers, thoughts churning in his skull. Bobby squeezes his shoulder, brings him back to the present. “You know I’ll have your back,” Bobby says softly, “whether you just stay friends, or decide on something more, I’ll support you both.” “I don’t think that’s in the cards,” Buck says. “With Shannon…it’s still too soon, but even then, I…I don’t know. I didn’t really consider it as an option. It might not be.” “Maybe not,” Bobby agrees, squeezing once more before pulling away. “But don’t count it out just yet.”