#it's not like. bad or anything i just wasnt expecting it

[missfertileandferal]

lowkey super anxious to post this but im missing you guys so much <3

i plan on a solid return soon! i just wanted to get off my chest whats been going on:

Earlier this year, I dealt with an awful situation of my kinky stuff leaking into real life. My insane coworkers found my content and as I was serving on the clock, proceeded to show my customers and all the staff. then i was fired. Im traumatized to say the least but I over came it.

Come mid summer, I planned so step back for a little bit to move apartments no more than a couple weeks. What happened was both my job (i worked with close family friends so stressful) and a really bad situation with a companion found about my kink stuff. i never expected or was prepared for the humiliation, deception, and pain that would come from my fetish journey

My last job was such a loss. I had been blessed with a cute job as a medical office assistant without any credentials (i wasnt doing anything out of my capabilities of course) it was so peaceful and perfect compared to the drama of my last gig plus working with familiar people felt just like home honestly. Then I got covid. I was out for 2 weeks, at the same time i was moving into my new place. I tried calling them back to let them know I was cleared and ready to get back to work. I received a humiliating text. I was dismissed. That turned into a crippling anxiety of them confessing to my family what I do in my past time

The following week I was met with more disappointment. Ive said this before but I dont have many people in my corner. It used to suck to admit but I stand with pride now knowing those who are around me love me 100% regardless what I do or dont do.

One of my dearest dearest friends, who I had previously communicated what I do (not to a full extent they always respected it) called me very dramatically only a week before I planned to see them (they live across the country and we ALWAYS visit each other when in our cities) It still doesnt feel real tbh, the call only last 40 seconds. I was informed that “I was going on the wrong path” and could no longer be associated with. That’s alls that happened. 8 years down the drain

I was informed by outside sources that my hometown opps had gotten hold of my content (who my ex friend still associate with but I despise bc they’ve always been obsessed with me but in a bad way) and they had confronted him about being my friend. he pussied out and cut me off. they also mass reported my last instagram account😡🤬

I had to take some time back to seriously debate if these loses were worth it. I was swallowed with so much anxiety knowing that an uncomfortable amount of people in my zip code knew what ive been up to. its already complicated being into this and while at the same time not being in a plus size body. thats another conversation tho

That debate has turned into me accepting these events as the universe weeding out people/things that no longer serve me. This has shown peoples true colors, if I am not to be associated with because of my sexual freedom, body acceptance, and undoing of fat phobia then PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

Im recovering ❤️‍🩹 but my heart and hedonism can’t be helped. i love being a kinky lil gut slut. its helped me grow in so many ways from acceptance to living an esoteric dreamy life. i love all the hot girls and guys that i see on my timeline. they hype me up and vise versa. i love this little corner of the internet. my fellow freaks keep me going. i’ve been so on and off online but every time i come back to the sweetest words and support. thank you guys for your patience and consideration

my anxiety is to the roof as im typing. its crazy that these privacy problems havent been within the actual community. funny. if your still reading this I love you extra. ill be streaming on ig on my comeback day!

new ig acc @missfertileandferal💘

[eisthenameofme]

I have acquired. Tape recorder

[munchboxart]

NOT

[skunkes]

might sound weird to say as a person with a couple ocs who have Big Horrible Event(s) in their backstories or as a person who has like 3 ocs total bc he sucks at writing and as a person who hopes their ocs arent too Boring with [the thing im about to mention] but the thing about writing [characters] and [people] is that like.

any little thing a person experiences can take up their whole existence... its actually something "fun" to experience as i meet new ppl and do more things. My friend had something happen that she'll be talking about forever. I had several things happen last year that ill never stop talking about, some of which other ppl think werent that bad actually. In the same way I'll forever remember about the way my sister accidentally insulted me almost 10 years ago, it's really interesting and Fun to find and assign smaller things like that to characters...its really Real. some people's dealbreakers are other people's solvable problems etc etc

[wormy-worm]

YPU GUYS I JUST FOUND MY ART TRACED AND REPOSTED TO FUCKING PINTEREST IM GONNA CRYDHDN 😭😭😭

[dayurno]

[todayisafridaynight]

funny concept i really wanna do is make a mine dating sim however no matter how hard you try you’ll always get At Most a friendship ending EXCEPT if you put your name in as daigo then it’s just an entirely different game

[coldvampire]

anyway as soon as i pry myself off this couch im gonna share some screenshots of bg3 protags on my sideblog. just gotta like. reach the desk first.

[sonknuxadow]

theres something kind of annoying to me about how ever since the first sonic movie came out, when discussing potential additions to the cast the common default assumption people have for every single character sonic is friends with has always been that they would become sonics adopted sibling or cousin or something even if they dont have a family type relationship with him at all in the games. but almost nobody is even considering the idea of something like that happening with shadow and are saying that sonic and shadow are gonna fall in love or whatever instead and that this is gonna be the so/nadow movie etc etc

[get-more-bald]

the fuck do you mean I have to leave....

[lonelyplanetfag]

fun fact i got on a call tn cuz i thought itd make me feel better cuz ive been rly fucking miserable lately n usually that helps but in all honesty it made everything one million times worse n im so sad abt it

[bangcakes]

.

[purplequay]

ohhhhhhh my god. i was there. i was there

[3416]

''i do have thoughts ! but'' share?

well fbdkdk we all like to joke about mitch's daddy issues.. and even though it's all just speculation, it does something to you when you feel like a parent's love is conditional!! i would know. it's a very relatable part of him to me personally, and it's a part that can get ugly (which isn't the most fun to speculate abt in a fandomy sense) so i don't blame anyone for wanting to look at it from such a lighthearted perspective like. i do it too and in the end, he is a millionaire with little material concern in this life from now on most likely so!! But inside of him.... when you feel like you have to earn the love of people around you or keep it up or can't express your full self for fear of what ppl think or whatever like. it wears you down. it hurts your self image. it makes you codependent and needy in a way that might not be the most fun or cutest despite what all of us who adore him say.. mitch's perception of himself as someone who wants to and HAS to provide that energy for this team all the time is pretty evident in that blueprint ep about him, and while i think most of the time, that's just his personality... you can't always be on and always be that for people. privileged to be in his position but sometimes feels like he's still. not whole.... missing something. HATES being left out and feeling like things are happening without him.... none of that is cute when it's happening a lot, but he has teammates who love him and are willing to accomodate that despite the teasing so <3

i also just think like. if any person on this team were most likely to Snap in any meaningful way... it would be him. like he's done and been everything Traditional Hockey would want from him and it's still not enough to get people off his back, fans media family alike. his teammates can break sticks over the bench and people "love their passion" but mitch goes down the hallway to do it out of everyones eyeshot and its a story for a week? idk. he is handled differently from everyone else on the leafs, and i cant imagine how it is to be this hometown boy who can never do anything right by some standards.... who think the only team he's ever really known would be better without him?? who wouldn't doubt their place or contemplate the drastic when theyre someone who lets others opinions get to them?? like when your self image already suffers but your have people piling on... you're telling me there's nothing internally dark about that???????

there is a lot more to say but i'm fucked up on nyquil and 5 seconds from sleep so. hope this makes sense 😭

[shooks-stupid-stuff]

after like 3 years of saying i was going to, i've finally started playing len'en

i like this guy a lot

[toastsnaffler]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.