#it's not pining per se but elements of it are there

[eldritchships]

Switching focus out of nowhere but Ough. Bowser. I'm thinking about that BowGraves period in particular where they're pre-relationship but there's an unspoken thing between them. It's hard to pick out specific feelings when your bodyguard is already so loyal to you that it could be called intimate, so when they do figure out what that new layer is it's going to hit them like a truck

[notiddygxthgf]

𝟎

★ pairings: suguru geto x satoru gojo, satosugu

★ synopsis: Suguru Geto struggles with letting people in after leaving a three-year-long abusive relationship. Enter Satoru Gojo, the boy who doesn't seem to take no for an answer.

★ c.w.: slow burn, mutual pining, explicit sexual content, dub con elements, implied/referenced rape/non-con, mahito is a real abusive asshole, past relationship(s), past abuse, recovery, hurt, comfort, vent fic, based on my shitty ex, my therapist told me it'd be a good idea idk, im a good writer I swear, brought to u by the bch who wrote best friend's brother!choso, sexual tension, new love, fluff, angst, smutt, graphic, psychological trauma, theres a happy ending in here I swear, angst with a happy ending, psychological trauma, PTSD, idiots in love, sexy smut I swear.

★ a/n: NGL I kinda hate how this turned out. but! it had to be done! I had to get it out of the way. the way I think this is gonna work is past flashbacks first, present time next. it's gonna prob alternative between the two for a while. comment your thoughts! let me hear u! feel free to slander mahito... he plays the shitty ex.

★ w.c.; 3.4k

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𝐔 𝐍 𝐅 𝐎 𝐑 𝐓 𝐔 𝐍 𝐀 𝐓 𝐄    𝐀 𝐈 𝐋 𝐌 𝐄 𝐍 𝐓

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PROLOGUE

2019. MONTH UNKNOWN.

I WAS ONLY 12 YEARS OLD the first time I tried to kill myself. In retrospect, I can’t possibly imagine what could have been so important to little me that he firmly believed he would rather die than live without it. I wish I could say that I had a difficult life. That simply was not the case. I grew up with two loving parents and a kind brother, in a small town where every friend I’d ever had was within a mile of me at any given point in time. We weren’t rich, but we most certainly weren’t poor. I had everything a child could ask for and so much more.

Again, I wish that I could say I had a difficult life, but that simply was not the case. 

It’s just that I’ve had these… thoughts for as long as I can remember. An unfortunate ailment, if you will. No matter what I did, there always seemed to be something missing. Something I felt I would spend my whole life searching for – or at least trying to supplement.

At 12 years old, I planned my first attempt.

It didn’t work.

So, now, faced with the unbearable burden of deciding what I was going to do for the rest of my life, I chose to pursue a childhood dream of mine. I wanted to go to school to become a doctor. I didn’t know what kind, per se, but I knew that I wanted to heal. 

Maybe I thought, I don’t know… that if I healed enough people, I may have been rid of the ailment – healed, myself.

So I left my small town, enrolling in an academy 30 minutes away from the house. I got into their Healthcare program. Again, what more could a kid want?

Yet the void inside of me only grew larger, more ravenous. I lost touch with all of my small town friends – one by one. I had no one.

But I was pursuing my passion, right? Why wasn’t it enough?

It was in that godforsaken academy that I met him.  

“Pick a card,” he asked me. His grey eyes were so sharp, even then. “Any card.”

I glanced down at the fanned-out deck in his pale hand, eyes crawling over the many different suits and shapes before eventually settling on an ace. I pulled the card out. 

Ace of spades. I tried to memorize it. I also, coincidentally, tried my best to ignore the incessant thrum of my racing heartbeat against my veins, my arteries, my chest. He was sitting so close to me.

It was just the two of us in the hallway. Just me and him and the infinite space between us, the small gap between my right shoulder and his left. 

I handed it back to him. “What are you doing?” I asked.

He slipped the card back into the deck without looking. He shuffled it once, twice, three times. Made a bridge with his hands and let the cards fall back into place. I watched with a remarkable sense of interest.

“Is this your card?” He tucked a stray blue hair behind his ear, producing a card.

I furrowed my brows, about to say something, when I noticed something off about the card. It was different. Where there once was a large blue spade, there now was a small, torn piece of lined paper taped to the surface. The gray lettering on the handwritten note read,

WILL U GO OUT W/ ME?

My eyes went as wide as saucers. My mouth lolled open, lips shaped around his cursed name, “Mahito, I…” 

I thought of my parents. I thought of my religious father. What would he say? What would he say if he found out his 14-year-old son was a homosexual?

I thought of my parents, and I bit my lip, “I don’t know if I can… I don’t know. What if my dad finds out?”

Mahito tucked the deck of cards neatly into the pocket of his black cargo pants. His hoodie was rolled up to his elbows, revealing intricate stick-and-poke linework over his forearms. He shrugged, humming, “Who says he has to?”

The tardy bell rang. We were late for first period.

My mouth opened by itself again. At fourteen, I wasn’t so sure I was ready to lie to my father about something so serious. Not yet.

Seemingly sensing my hesitance, Mahito laid a hand on my stiff shoulder. “Hey,” he muttered softly. “Think about it. Give me your answer after school, yeah? We’ll meet here at 3:30.”

And then he slipped away with a quiet, ‘See ya’.

Without confirmation.

In his absence, I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.

2019 February.

Mahito ran away from home two weeks into our relationship. Ran away without so much as a notice or a warning. Ran away and left me there to assume the worst. He didn’t live in the best area. Perhaps he was staying with a friend? If not, was he dead in a ditch somewhere?

There was no way to tell.

He could have at least told me, I had thought. Then again, would I have tried to stop him? Undoubtedly.

They issued a missing persons alert the day after he didn’t show up. I remember seeing the poster all over my social media, all over the streetlights and posts. 

It didn’t seem real. Even as I held the missing poster in my trembling hand, I remember feeling numb. I remember feeling as if this were all some sort of cruel prank, that he would be back just in time for our after-school walk with a smile on his face.

 But there he was, smiling up at me from the page in my hand. 

MISSING PERSON: MAHITO 

Height: 5’8

Weight: 150

Eye color: gray

Hair color: blue

Remarkable features: tattoos on arms

Last seen: February 14th.

I crumpled the piece of paper up, tossing it across my messy bedroom with a sigh. I hadn’t slept last night, and I wouldn’t have slept tonight either.

I sunk into myself, curled into a ball on my twin-sized mattress – the same one I’d had for as long as I could remember – and cried. I was utterly inconsolable. I cried until my voice was hoarse, until there were no more tears left to cry.

Until my phone buzzed.

I assumed it was another homework notification. I didn’t check. What did it matter? In my eyes, my world had stopped spinning. It had stopped the moment he ran away.

But it buzzed again, and again.

It was then that I realized I was getting a call. Begrudgingly, I picked my phone up off of the bed. I turned it over. The screen was lit up with the words ‘NO CALLER ID’. 

I wanted to hang up. Desperately. Wanted to save myself a shred of peace and dignity and move on with my night – in hindsight, I probably should have just hung up when I had the chance. But, no, I felt something in my gut call out to me.

Against my better judgment, I answered, “Hello?”

The line crackled. “Suguru?”

Suguru. 

My heart leapt up into my throat. With wide eyes, I answered again, “Who’s this?”

“Suguru, it’s me, Mahito,” He sighed with relief, like he hadn’t expected me to pick up. Truth be told, I hadn’t expected it either. “I’m sorry I couldn’t call you sooner, my love. I’m calling you from a phone booth right now.”

My love. The nickname sounded like honey coming from his lips, but I knew it was laced with venom. Still, as would seem to be the trend, I was weak for it. 

My eyes began to water again, somehow. “Where are you?”

I knew better than to call him ‘baby’. Not when my father was sleeping in the room next to mine. 

“I can’t tell you that right now,” He answered. Of course, he couldn’t. There always seemed to be something he was hiding from me. I didn’t see it that way back then. “Look, I don’t have much time to talk, I–”

“I’ve been worried sick about you, Mahi,” I spoke again. I felt numb. So numb. “Please, just–”

“I stole ten grand from my mom,” He cut me off. “I’m running away from home. The abuse, it’s just– I can’t. I can’t, anymore.”

His mother was a real piece of shit. I knew that. She never wanted Mahito, not as a single mother. So she tried multiple times to be rid of him – beating him senseless with hangers and wires and even going so far as to attempt to poison him on his birthday. 

Still, ten grand was a lot of money.

Stolen.

“I’m on the run from the cops, I– I think they’re trying to find me,” He panted into the microphone. “You can’t tell anyone, okay? You gotta lie for me.”

I felt sick. Sick to my fucking stomach.

“I’m sorry, I…” I trailed off, holding back vomit. “Hold on.”

I ran to the bathroom and promptly emptied the contents of my stomach into the sink. I had just eaten mac and cheese an hour or so ago, and the vomit was tinted yellow. I could still see a few noodles here and there, only partially digested.

It made me want to hurl again.

“You okay?” he asked me.

“Am I– No, I’m not fucking okay, Mahito! First, you run away without–” I had to swallow bile a second time. I felt it burn as it slid back down my throat. “You could have fucking warned me , or something, and now you’re calling me at eleven at night to tell me you’re fleeing the fucking cops?”

He paused. “I know,” he said. “I know, I’m sorry. You know I love you.”

And immediately, like some sort of magic trick, I felt my exterior soften. I didn’t even care that we were only a few weeks into our relationship. He was my first. It was like he knew the effect he had on me. 

“Suguru,” he said again. “I love you.”

His words were like honey. I took a spoonful.

“I love you, too,” I sighed into the receiver. 

“You’ll keep quiet about this for me, right?”

I was weak for him, as always.

“Okay,” I said.

I found myself sitting at my desk in the middle of the day, struggling to concentrate on the lesson. The classmates at my table – more like a group of desks placed together – were talking about the missing boy.

My missing boy.

They were talking to me, actually, but I had long since tuned them out. It was all a blur for me – a blur of faces and voices and words I didn’t want to hear. 

“He’s a freak,” The boy across from me, Choso Kamo, remarked. “If I were you, I’d break things off before it’s too late.”

Choso’s critical words sent a sharp pang right through my rotten heart. 

“Exactly,” My friend, Shoko, chimed in. She was a pretty thing, about a few inches shorter than me with brown hair up to her chin. She always looked so tired . I wonder if she recognized that I felt the same. “He’s got some serious issues. Guys like that rarely make for healthy relationships.”

Choso leaned in, leaned over the desk to offer more of his thoughts, “You can’t just ignore the fact that more people are catchin’ on, either. What if your dad finds out? You know he thinks that… kind of stuff is wrong.”

Choso was Shoko’s friend. He wasn’t homophobic. A little misguided, but he had the spirit. Hell if he weren’t a raging heterosexual, I might have even gone for him instead. He had that look I liked – sleepy, downturned, dark eyes framed by messy bangs. He never wore colors. He was content to make a statement in black. Black eyeliner, black shirt, black doc martens, black hair done up into two messy pigtails. 

It was his signature look.

Our classmates didn’t take too kindly to ‘emos’ like him, though. He was an outcast. Hell, we all were. That’s why we sat together, after all.

The harsh opinions of my classmates threatened to erode my self assurance. I knew people were talking – people always talked. I knew the hushed whispers of my name as I walked past people and cliques in the mornings on my way to class weren’t a hallucination. 

I knew I had to stand by my boyfriend. I knew I had to stand by Mahito, but the weight of their disapproval put a strain on my shoulders. Does anyone want to hear that their friends don’t approve of their partner?

Admittedly, he wasn’t a very good partner. He had demonstrated that much in the first few weeks of our relationship. I knew he wasn’t good for me, but, fuck, I wanted to try. I wanted to make things work so badly that I ached for it. Everyone else knew he wasn’t good for me, too. 

But, fuck, was I naive to wish I could prove them all wrong?

In my eyes, he was only misunderstood. The ghosting, the red flags, the alarming behavior… I could see past it all because I loved him. My first love. No one understood him the way I did. How could I blame them for their concerns?

It didn’t matter how many voices I had in my ear telling me it was wrong. Soon, he would come home to me, and I would feel his skin against my cheek as I hugged him hello. That’s all that mattered.

How could that be wrong?

“It’s not wrong. How could it be?” I kept my gaze trained on my desk. My vision was blurry, unfocused. My mind felt numb and detached. I muttered. “I love him. He loves me, too. He told me he did.”

He did.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Choso and Shoko exchange a dubious look. 

They didn’t understand him the way I did.

“He told me he loved me,” I repeated the words like a mantra, like a reminder to myself that I was fighting for something. 

That as long as I was loved by him, I would be okay. 

He called again that night. Earlier, this time, at nine o’clock. 

I was in the shower at that time, curled up on the floor, sobbing into my arms. The water streamed past my shoulders, my arms, my nose. I glanced over at the screen through blurry eyes. 

NO CALLER ID.

I closed my eyes. I took a deep breath.

Then, I let the call ring.

Current Day. 

[12:13 PM]

[Automated]: you have 3 new messages. Play back?

[USER] Selected:

[NO] ...

... [View Inbox]

...

[ Last 6 Years ].

[REPLAY>>] Message from 'Blocked Number'.

Transcription:

" Suguru, this is me, Mahito. I don’t know if you can hear me or not– I don’t know if anyone can hear you or not, so please use headphones, or something, I don’t know. I just wanted to call and make sure you’re okay. I’m gonna try and call you later. Right now you seem to not be answering your phone for some reason. Doesn’t matter, though. I’m not in a really good place, right now, I’m… surrounded by a lot of people. So, um.. I just wanted to say that I love you, and I’ll call you a little bit later, okay? Bye– kisses…….”  

[End of Transcription] 

[Automated]: Would you like to play the next message?

[ Yes. ]

“ Suguru, is this– this is me, Mahito. Um.. I just wanted to say that I’m okay. Nothing has happened to me yet. I’m perfectly safe. I’m in a laundromat somewhere. And, uh, I said I love you… I don’t know why you’re not answering my calls… You know that I always try to text you whenever I can– and try to… call you, but… I don’t know, maybe you’re too depressed, or some shit. Maybe you’re mad at me. I understand. I– what I did was wrong, I… What I did was idiotic, and what I did was stupid, and shitty… And I understand if you’re mad at me and you don’t wanna answer my calls. So, yeah, I gues… I’ll try to call you again tomorrow. 

If you’re hearing this voicemail, but you probably won’t, um… I just want you to know that I love you. And I’m trying to do my best just… to see you again. You like pizza, don’t you? How about we do a pizza date sometime, yeah? Somewhere around next week, maybe. Huh? How about that? Sounds cool, right? Yeah, yeah it does. Um, anyway, I… gotta… I gotta go. I have to… do some things. Uh… uh… at least I love you. 

And, I– I might not have brought much with me, but I have the little stuffie that you gave me. It’s in my book bag. Not gonna take it out because people are gonna know what my things look like. I’m always gonna keep these memories close to my heart. I don’t care what anybody says. Even if I go to prison, I’m taking this shit with me. Alright? Um, I guess that’s it. And… last thing? I love you. 

Please, answer me. If you’re calling, that means you actually care, but if you don’t, then… it’s fine. Don’t recall this number. I’m not gonna respond. This is just some random guy’s phone. Okay? Um… I love you, and please stay safe. Please don’t worry, I��m still alive. I miss you. Okay, bye, I love you.”

 [End of Voicemails Received on February 18th, 2019].

[Automated]: Would you like to replay the messages?

[ No. ]

[ Delete ] > [ All messages from {Blocked Number}] 

[Automated]: Are you sure?

[Yes]

[Automated]: Deleting all messages from {Blocked Number}.

THE WIND BLEW IN HEAVY from below, sending a plethora of leaves flying out in all directions. As I knelt down to test the current with my fingers, my boots sank deeper into the muddy riverside.

I sat on the bench in front of the riverbed. Wiping my fingers dry on the fabric of my denim jeans, I took a moment to take in my surroundings. The park was mostly empty, save for a few teenagers

The water always looked pretty this time of year. For a few moments, you stood there drinking in the sight of it.

In the present, I sat alone in front of the serene lake, surrounded by the picturesque beauty of nature. Lush green trees lined the shore, their leaves rustling in the gentle breeze. The scent of damp earth and the distant call of birds created a peaceful atmosphere, contrasting with the turmoil in my mind.

I watched as groups of carefree teenagers ran around, their laughter and joy a stark contrast to the heavy weight I carried in my heart. A deep sigh escaped my lips as I averted my gaze towards the shimmering water.

I wished for the water to possess the power to cleanse me, to wash away the burdens that weighed on my soul. 

The sound of the water rushing past was almost deafening, drowning out the laughter of the teenagers. It consumed my thoughts, leaving me with an overwhelming feeling of dread and isolation. I yearned for the water to offer solace, as if it held the key to absolution and a fresh start, but it remained an unsettling reminder of my own inner turmoil.

I had a vision every time I came here for some peace of mind. It was the same vision every single time. It plagued me every time I found myself in front of the water. It was an image of me, standing at the water's edge, and then, with a deep sense of despair, throwing myself into it, sinking into the abyss and drowning.

As I sat there, the scenery around me seemed to blur, and the vision of my drowning self played on a loop in my mind, a relentless nightmare that I couldn't escape. The lake, which should have been a source of tranquility, had become a symbol of my pain and a relentless reminder of my inner struggles.

It seemed to call to me. I could almost hear the wind carry my name.

Suguru.

The water always looked pretty this time of year. I sat there watching it for a moment too long, wondering what it would feel like to be enveloped by the cold current, to feel it wash me away. 

And, again, the sound of the current grew louder. Deafening. Consuming me.

a/n: l comment and lmk what u think pookiesss

comments + reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

I obviously do not own jjk or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

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wanna join the taglist?| mlol; chapter index

[sarahowritesostucky]

📖"Alpha, Beta (& Omega)"

Rated: Explicit

Chapter Rating: Teen

Word Count: 1862

Pairing: Steve x Bucky

Tags: a/b/o, arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, nobility/royalty au, alternate history, dom/sub elements, beta bucky, hurt/comfort, age gap, domestic discipline, spanking, head of household, wedding night, Edwardian time period, m/f/m poly marriage

Summary: To save House Barnes from scandalous ruin, James must agree to a contracted marriage, accepting Lord Senator Steven Rogers as his Alpha, Husband, and Headship.

To read the previous parts of this series first, go to the masterlist

4. A Late Morning Wedding

This Chapter: After their vows, Steve takes Bucky's arms gently, fitting first one band of metal and then the other over his wrists and clicking them shut. They’re weighty, just like the ownership they represent.

It’s a late morning wedding.

Bucky’s family hasn’t ever attended services with any regularity, so they convene at Steve’s Catholic church to give their vows.

Bucky is, strangely, not very nervous.. Once he’d gotten dressed that morning and allowed the attendants to pin a flower to his jacket lapel in the church’s side room, he’d kind of stopped thinking. It doesn’t seem real, that he’s about to walk down an aisle and give his life over to a man he hardly knows.

Steve’s beta father pops his head in through the door and gives Bucky a small smile. Bucky tries to give something back, since Mr. Rogers seems like a nice guy, quiet and kind. Bucky nods at him when he asks if he’s ready to go, and takes his arm when he offers it.

Steve’s church is large. The fifty or so guests that’ve come only fill the first few rows of pews. Bucky stiffens his spine and steadfastly avoids meeting anyone’s gaze. He especially doesn’t look at his mother. Not because of spite, but rather because he’s not sure what he’d do if he saw her face right now. Probably cry.

Reaching Steve at the altar, Bucky is reminded that Steve is a good few inches taller than him. He’s handsome in his suit, Bucky can’t help but think. He’s a very attractive man, and if this were under different circumstances, Bucky might be pining over him.

Only, it’s their wedding, which isn’t something Bucky had planned for himself. Not at this stage in his life. He gulps and takes Steve’s hand when he offers it, listening to the priest’s words as he starts speaking.

Steve seems … not tense, per se, but stiff somehow. His eyes keep flicking over to Bucky every so often, and soon enough Bucky realizes that Steve’s trying to make sure he’s doing alright, without being obvious about it. Bucky stiffens his jaw, trying to appear as collected as Steve does. He doesn’t want the alpha to think he’s some stupid kid who can’t handle this. Bucky doesn’t need his sympathy.

When it’s time for them to say their vows, the priest has them turn to face each other. Steve holds both of Bucky’s hands and recites, “I, Steven Grant Rogers, do take you, James Buchanan Barnes, to be my husband and Beta. I promise to honor and protect you, to guide our household and care for our family. Going forward, I accept the responsibility of Headship to our union. I promise to share my life with you and, god-willing, the third to our marriage.”

Bucky gulps, his palms feeling sweaty where they rest in Steve’s. He repeats the vows that the priest lays out for him, glad that it’s done sentence by sentence, because he honestly doesn’t think he could manage to remember it all at once. “I, James Buchanan Barnes, do take you, Steven Grant Rogers, to be my husband and Alpha. I promise to honor and obey you, to nourish our household and care for our family. Going forward …” Bucky’s throat feels tight. He has to take a breath before he can make himself utter the last words. “Going forward, I accept your authority as Headship to our union. I promise to share my life with you and, god willing, the third to our marriage.”

It feels like a huge weight is lifted from on top of his lungs, once the words are said. Air rushes back in, but it’s not a relief, it just means he can breathe again. Bucky blinks at Steve, taking in the way he looks satisfied, if not altogether joyous. The priest is talking, droning on about the sanctity of marriage and other things. He ushers the altar boy forward with the ring and wristbands. Bucky watches with a sense of disbelief as Steve takes his arms gently, fitting first one band of metal and then the other over his wrists and clicking them shut. They fit, at least. They’re about the only thing in this situation that does. Then Bucky gets nudged by the altar boy, who’s looking at him impatiently, Steve’s ring held out. “Oh.” Bucky takes it, turning back to Steve. He’s looking at Bucky patiently, waiting for him to slide it onto his finger. Bucky takes a deep breath and does so.

Steve smiles kindly at him, once it’s done, and he squeezes their hands together. The priest starts saying things in Latin and moving his hands around, and then he’s pronouncing Bucky and Steve as husbands, saying they’re married and that Steve can kiss him. Bucky freezes on the spot, not having thought ahead to this part. Steve comes in and holds Bucky at the waist, one hand curling behind his neck as he dips in, kissing him before Bucky can freak out any further. He’s gentle about it, his mouth warm but brief on Bucky’s own. Bucky doesn’t have time to decide if he likes it or not before Steve is pulling back and everyone in the pews is standing up and clapping. Organ music that’s too grand for just their little gathering starts up, and Steve takes Bucky’s hand to guide him back down the aisle.

They’re married.

Mercifully, nobody tries to throw a grand reception to celebrate. Bucky thinks he would explode if he had to sit in a room full of people congratulating him on his blessed marriage for three hours straight.

Instead, Steve’s fathers have Winnie and Bucky’s sisters over for dinner and drinks, a few close friends of each of their families attending as well. House Romanov is there, so Bucky gets to see Natasha, and House Wilson attends as well. Senator Wilson’s son, Sam, is apparently Steve’s best friend.

Bucky watches the two of them talking on the other side of the ornate drawing room. Every once in a while, either Steve or Sam’s eyes will flit over to him as they talk, which is what lets Bucky know they’re most definitely talking about him.

He tries to ignore Steve in favor of eyeing all the grand frescoes that decorate the ceiling, and the old fabric wallpaper that lines the high walls. Both of their families are High Society, but House Rogers is clearly wealthier than House Barnes. The mansion they’re in makes that plain enough. Steve had grown up here, Bucky thinks absentmindedly. Strange, since he in no way acts pretentious. Even his parents don’t.

Bucky’s sitting on one of the parlor’s silk couches, Natasha at his side. “God, James,” she scolds. “I would’ve thought he was hideous, from the way you were complaining. Look at him! He’s textbook.”

Bucky grunts, sipping some of his wine. It’s his third glass and he has no concrete plans of stopping. Already, he can feel his body buzzing, a little numb but a little giddy too. He’s at least relaxed enough that he can sit with Natasha and stare at his new husband across the room without being constantly flustered. “Yeah,” he agrees. “He’s handsome.”

“He’s one of the youngest in the senate right now,” Natasha tells him. “I've heard good things."

"What things?"

Bucky's thinking of his character, but Natasha starts listing off several bills that the alpha has apparently co-sponsored. "—and pushing for all sorts of reforms.”

Bucky shrugs. He’s never paid too much attention to politics. A good thing, too, since he won’t inherit his father’s seat now, anyhow. Years of study would’ve been a waste of time. “That’s great Natasha,” he says, making his lack of interest clear. “I just need to get drunk enough to go to bed with him tonight.”

Natasha gives him a look. “You don’t always have the best ideas,” she says.

“Hmph.” Bucky sips more wine. “Sure.” His eyes flick over to where his mother is chatting with Steve’s fathers:

“Oh no,” she’s saying with a sigh. “We never did find our omega, I’m afraid. It’s always been just the two of us. But it’s been a happy household. Well ... until recently.” She looks away, embarrassed. “Obviously.” The Rogers start trying to console her about the obvious ruin of her house.

Bucky only endures about two minutes of listening to that before he stands from the couch and excuses himself from Natasha’s company. He finds his way into the kitchen, where a few servants are arranging things on platters, ostensibly to bring out and serve to the guests. They look alarmed at seeing Bucky in their domain and ask him if he needs anything. “No,” he says, walking towards the counter and pouring himself some more wine from an opened bottle. The wine comes out white, mixing with the red that’s already in his glass. Bucky huffs at the mistake but doesn’t stop pouring until he’s got the glass mostly full. He nods at the staring servants and makes his way out of the kitchen and into the hall. Everyone’s still convened in the parlor, but Bucky really doesn’t want to go back in there. He sips his drink, considering if he might snoop around Steve’s parents' house. His eyes roam the fancy ceiling, which in that part of the hallway is a rich, carved mahogany.

“Bucky.”

He startles, attention shooting from the ceiling down to Steve, who’s appeared in the hall. He’s holding his hand out for Buck. “Come on,” he says. “Our parents want to make a toast before we retire.”

Bucky’s lips part. “Retire?” he repeats dumbly.

Steve’s eyes soften and he nods, coming forward to draw him along. “Yeah, come on. How many of these have you had?” His fingers approach Bucky’s wine glass and Bucky yanks it out of reach.

“Not that many,” he says, grumpy. “I’m allowed.”

Steve seems to consider him for a long moment, but then he nods and doesn’t press the issue any farther. He moves Bucky along into the parlor. “Yes, you are. None after this, though,” he says, putting some of the command of an alpha’s Voice behind it.

Bucky stiffens, never having been on the receiving end of Steve’s Voice. “No?” he asks, desperately wanting to do something to prove that he can have as much wine as he wants, that Steve isn’t the boss of him. But the dark metal bands around his wrists are evidence against that. They’re hidden by his shirt sleeves, but Bucky is well-aware of them against his skin. They’re weighty, just like the ownership they represent. “Maybe I’ll still have another glass, though,” Bucky mumbles mutinously, just loud enough for Steve to hear.

Steve steers them back into the parlor without taking the bait, and then he announces that the evening is finally coming to a close and he and his new husband must retire. One of Bucky’s sisters starts giggling madly and Bucky sees his mother glare at her, and then both of Steve’s parents are making a toast, wishing them happiness, good luck, and lots of children.

Bucky blushes mightily at that, feeling like it’s awful presumptive that they’ll find their omega anytime soon, or that they’ll start having babies with him (or her) right away. Bucky still feels like a kid, himself. He manages to meet both of his in-laws' eyes as Steve bids them good night. “Thank you,” Bucky mumbles. He accepts hugs from them and from his mother, and then Steve guides him out of the room and they both go upstairs.

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[baronessblixen]

Hi Anika! What are your top 10 or top 20 favorite TXF episodes? If you have time, maybe you can briefly say why you like them? I love hearing your thoughts.

Hi anon! There are so many good episodes. I have a few core favorites and a few that seem to change around a bit. They're in no particular order - and my thoughts are basically "Mulder and Scully are hot/cute/adorable" 😁

The Pine Bluff Variant - it's so good. I feel like it's underrated. Mulder trying to keep a secret from Scully! Mulder running! Scully setting his finger! Her following him!! It also has the whole "evil government" aspect to it.

Wetwired - another underrated episode! It's a monster-of-the-week episode but with mytharc elements. Scully being affected and becoming paranoid is amazing. And Mrs. Scully is in the episode too, of course!

Bad Blood - I mean that's a given, right? I like the comedy of it and I love the whole he said/she said spiel. It's a very fun episode.

Rain King - another fun episode. As a huge rom-com fan this one has to make my list. It's cute. I love Mulder and Scully being mistaken for a couple by *everyone*. Not to mention the room sharing and Scully's speech.

Pilot - I think this episode sets the show up so well. Mulder and Scully as baby agents meeting for the first time and bonding and clashing immediately. What's not to love?

Redux 2: I can't tell you why I love this episode so much. Or the whole three parter really. All I know is that for a while when I was a kid I watched it almost daily. It's Mulder crying at her hospital bed and both of them fighting their own fight and Scully going into remission.

Colony/End Game - I often forget about this episode but the mytharc in the early seasons was really good. Fake Mulder hurting Scully and then real Mulder choosing Scully over (fake) Samantha is so much drama and I LOVE it. The whole Mulder and his family part is heartbreaking.

Anasazi/The Blessing Way/Paper Clip - I cannot tear these episodes apart. They belong together. From Mulder being drugged to Scully shooting him and driving gim across country, being a total badass, to thinking he died and then losing her sister. There's so much here.

Squeeze - I just enjoy season one so much. They're all comfort episodes to me (except Space. That episode can fuck off). I love the case, I love Scully's answer when Colton asks her whose side she's on. Scully saying Mulder is territorial. I know it's not a two-parter per se, but I have to mention Tooms here, too, cause technically I like that one even better (that MSR moment in the car alone!).

Memento Mori - it's as heartbreaking as it is brilliant. Gillian is amazing in it and Scully choosing to fight is everything to me. As is that hug at the end. And Mulder watching her walk away. That one's just sad.

Demons - one of my absolute favorites. Yes, psrt of it is Mulder being a burrito at the beginning and him being insanely hot in jeans and a white t-shirt. But I also like seeing how far he's willing to go for this quest. Scully being worried sick (and she IS sick in late season 4 😭) is a bonus.

Je Souhaite - another fun episode. No one is dying. Well, Anson Stokes dies, but he doesn't count. Scully and her invisible man are so precious. The ending of course. Mulder being a sweetie, asking for world peace and then looking for Scully.

Detour - I love the case and suspense with person after person going missing. The beginning with them and the other two agents in the car is so funny. The singing of course and the whole raining sleeping bags thing. My personal favorite though is Mulder jumping into that hole to be with Scully.

I'm gonna stop here and do a few honorable mentions: The Jersey Devil, Dreamland 1+2, Jose Chung's From Outer Space, Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose, War of the Coprophages, Ice, Pusher(!) and Aqua Mala.

This got long. This show has way too many good episodes! I know I forgot several that I love.

[richtofens-hips]

Chaotic finally

writes the part 2 of my codz lore. Def not because I forgot or anything :')

Alrighty! I came up with the group names, the most creative ones ever... the Alpha and Beta crew. The Alpha crew contains Liam, Joseph, Micheal, and Andre. The Beta crew contains Juhani, Anastasia, Yoshiko, and Sydney. Let's delve into the "story". (Still being developed as I pop random half-arsed ideas into it)

Beta Crew. Juhani Virtanen, a Finnish sniper in the Finnish army. Sydney Jones, an Australian guard at a prison camp. Former POW Yoshiko Koyama was in said prison camp. He's a Japanese sailor in the Imperial Navy. Lastly, Anastasia Solovyov, a female Russian soldier in the Red Army. She was one of the first females to actually become a soldier in the war.

Sydney and Yoshiko already knew each other since the start. Australia was actually treating their prisoners with kindness. So naturally Sydney attempted to befriend Yoshiko. The Japanese refused anything Sydney tried to give him. Yoshiko thought this was dishonor on his part. So he hated poor Sydney ever since. Not hate, per se, just a huge dislike. But soon, he warmed up to the much taller Australian. (Yoshiko: 5'3. Sydney: 5'7. My poor Yoshiko got stuck with my height ToT)

The outbreak started in the camp and they escaped together. They took a boat to America, where they soon meet Juhani and Anastasia!

Anastasia and Juhani were sent by their respective countries to conquer the rest of America that hadn't been captured by the Axis Powers. A good chunk of America fell under the Axis, but the remainder was still fighting strong (That's my country for ya :D). All four of them come across each other in a bunker. Sydney was the only member Allied soldier. juhani was prepared to shoot him but Anastasia intervened. She said that they would need all the help they could get to survive. "This isn't even the war we were fighting for," Anastasia reasoned.

Thanks to this, Anastasia and Sydney became two pretty best friends!

Like the Alpha crew, they had to find certain artifacts and scrolls to achieve their goals. The four of them got along much better than expected (with the exception of Sydney and Yoshiko, but it's mostly playful and jokingly) and they got a lot more things done than the Alpha crew.

unfortunately, Anastasia had gotten exposed to Element 115 after stumbling upon it in a forest and cutting her hands on it. She began to experience hallucinations and heard voices. Luckily, the voices weren't as loud and demanding as they were with Ultimis Richtofen. But they did get overwhelming sometimes, trying to convince her to commit horrendous acts. Her friends helped her through with it, so she never became corrupted, and in turn, could actually manipulate some of the elements of 115! I'll explain on that later on-

Juhani and Anastasia become quite close... they are basically two friends pining each other but they're hella awkward with it lmao

Next, I'll write each character's bio and about them so you can learn more about them! :'D

[wangxianficfinder]

I’m in the Mood for a Fic Where…

~*~

1. hello~ do you have A) any fics about the ways wwx possibly changed parts of his personality as a result of his tense situation when he first came to lotus pier? like this isn't really canon per se, but some fics mention how he took on a more troublemaking persona to take the fall for his and jc's games etc... or, do you have B) fics where someone (jfm sure didn't) stands up to yzy and doesn't let her fucking whip a (newly not homeless) orphan?

1A)

Misunderstood by Silver_Flame_2724 (M, 240k, wangxian, heavy angst, fluff, eventual happy ending, implied/referenced rape/non-con, misunderstandings, self-harm, self-hatred, family fluff, mental breakdown, cannibalism, reincarnation, WIP)

~*~

2. Any super fluffy happy light hearted chicken soup for the soul non stressful  funny uplifting fics, that also have a focus on plot? Preferably not suuuuper long, but any length is okay. Thank you for all your hard work mods and fellow readers!

💖 of rabbits and men by shoutowo (G, 11k, wangxian, post-canon, animal transformation, fluff & humor, getting together, Mojo’s post)

💖 From the Future for the Past by friedchickenlord (G, 27k, wangxian, time travel, fix-it, fluff & humor, happy ending, denial, pining, bullying ur younger self is in fact ok)

❤️Candy & Conspiracies by cl410 (T, 16k, wangxian, jin wwx, Mojo’s post)

💖 Bunnies and Boots by Cheonz (G, 6k, wangxian, memory loss, does this count as deaging?, crack, fluff, family feels)

💖 an impromptu visit to the city by bosbie (T, 13k, wangxian, canon divergence, modern, time travel, fluff & humor, falling in love, getting together)

💖 don't come near me by lancede (G, 1k, wangxian, no angst, crack & fluff)

💖 What Happens In The Teahouse, Stays In The Teahouse by PotterheadAvengerDemigod & theAbandoned_Grimoire (G, 2k, pre-wangxian, fluff & crack, sunshot campaign, voice acting)

💖 Dimples by bodhan (G, 2k, wangxian, fluff & humor, sibling bonding)

💖 blue-ribbon bunny by cicer (G, 15k, wangxian, modern, shapeshifting, supernatural elements, fluff & humor)

💖 ridiculous future bullshit series by sami (T, 47k, wangxian, modern era, immmortality, fluff & humor)

💖 Lan Xichen's Day Off by WeAllCatchFoxes (G, 3k, wangxian, fluff & humor, fix-it, getting together)

💖 Nice work if you can get it by deliciousblizzardshark (M, 11k, wangxian, protective LWJ, genius LWJ, post-canon, fluff & humor, getting together, chief cultivato LWJ)

💖 All According to Plan by cerbykerby (M, 2k, wangxian, fluff & humor, arranged marriage, fox WWX, dragon LWJ)

💖 Fanclubs do, in fact, save lives series by greenies_stuff (T, 6k, wangxian, fix-it, fluff & humor, LWJ the president of YLLZ FanClub, premarital h*nd h*lding)

Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji being bros series by JiangChengLotus (T, 99k, wangxian, JC&LWJ, JC/LXC, chaos)

~*~

3. hello! are there any fics that discuss the fact that wwx most likely broke all his bones from falling into the burial mounds. I know the la and donghua have resentful energy sort of catching him, but I'm interested in fics where he actually falls and  uses resentful energy to knit himself back together, or where his bones healed wrong and he is in pain bc of it.

💖 Twelve Moons and a Fortnight series by stiltonbasket (M, wangxian, 478k, Mojo’s post) ❤️ three surgeries and a mercy kill by MarbleGlove (T, 11k, medical procedures, fix-it, Mojo’s bookmark) decay by antebunny  (G, 16k, wangxian, canon divergence, angst w/ happy ending, misunderstandings, miscommunication, fix-it, hurt/comfort) in the crush of the dark by seularen (E, 5k, wangxian, body horror, dismemberment, chronic pain, post-canon, flashbacks, hurt/comfort, case fic, angst w/ happy ending)

~*~

4. Hii mod L , hope you're fine and great  **I am well even if my feet are trying to kill me thanks to work :’) Mod L**....it is my first ask I don't know about this very much ..but I am craving for wangxian fanfictions recently. so I want you to suggest me some great fanfiction according to you ... it would be great if I can get to see whipped wuxian

💖  spider lilies to sunflowers by  cicer (E, 33k, wangxian, ABO, YL WWX, fairy tale elements, mpreg, omega LWJ,  lwj topping from the bottom) and other cicer’s works!

~*~

5. Im really in the mood for madam yu to gradually come  to accept wei wuxian into her family

❤️ Hope series by RoseThorne (T, 49k, wangxian, time travel, my bookmark)

An Almost Lan by shinigami2174 (M, 42k, wangxian, LQR/YZY, slow burn, romance, angst, fluff & smut, not JFM friendly, good parents YZY & LQR, enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, WIP)

~*~

6. hello!! hope that you are doing well <3 I was wondering if you had any fics that were historical AU but like ideally regency/victorian. I just feel like wangxian would have really good pride and prejudice vibes lol. thanks!!

(our friendship) up against the ropes by daltoneering (E, 36k, wangxian, modern, friends to lovers, getting together, experienced LWJ, fluff & smut) this is a modern au with a GENEROUS helping of 2005 pride + prejudice references bc i havent read the regency/victorian au fics just yet but was reminded of it

Detective Wei Wuxian series by krazieLeylines (E, 133k, wangxian, major character death, historical, 19th century, gothic, murder mystery, supernatural elements, pining, slow burn, angst w/ happy ending)

Half Agony, Half Hope by queenklu (T, 105k, wangxian, Persuasion au, pining, broken engagement, not YZY or JFM friendly, secrets, espionage, child injury)

The Aristocrat and The Fallen Exorcist by midohana & Starkindler123 (T, 44k, wangxian, victorian au, supernatural elements WIP)

An Accurate (Anachronic) Jianghu Christmas Carol by Mikkeneko (T, 7k, background wangxian, crack, Dickens era)

~*~

7. Hello! I was wondering if you knew of any fics where WWX’s cultivation is shown like a chronic illness? Or any where he suffers with a chronic illness? I’m in need of LWJ taking care of his man T_T thank you so much in advance!

❤️ to arrive late is better than not to arrive at all by Moominmammashandbag (M, 35k, wangxian, angst w/ happy ending, soulmates, chronic illness, hanahaki disease as a curse, feelings realization, angst, fluff, smut)

~*~

8. Hello, for your next in the mood for, may i ask for fics focused on wangxian fics that can give me some second hand embarrassment. Not the type of cringy fics or smth, just where they are portrayed hilariously I'd get embarrassed and want to poke or hit them in head.

The Golden Cutsleeve by syrus_jones (E, 77k, wangxian, fluff & crack, no sunshot au, first times, accidental sex, porn w/ plot, happy ending)

~*~

9. plz plz is there a story like this? i think it would be so fun to read! @xiaokuer-schmetterling​

❤️ Lynchpin by ShanaStoryteller (not rated (I’d say T), 103k, JC & WWX, wangxian, time travel, fix-it, Mojo’s post)

~*~

10. Hello! For “I’m in a mood for…” do you know of any good body swap Wangxian fics?

voyeurs make the worst spies by BeStillMySlashyHeart (T, 1k, wangxian, outsider POV, reunions, body swap)

~*~

11. Hello wangxianficfinder! Hope you're having a good day! I would like to ask if there are any other fics like "Bodyguard king" by 74243 about lesbian d/s wangxian wherein they had established a nonsexual 24/7 dom/sub relationship? Before or after a romantic relationship? @kaitou-cure-prism12​

~*~

12. Hello, I have been searching fics where wwx is jealous but alas couldn't find a lot. Can you please suggest some where wwx is jealous for lwj?

A Half Truth is A Whole Lie by MilkyLane96 (E, 12k, wangxian, love confessions, misunderstandings, feelings, marriage proposal, jealous WWX, WIP)

The man from the future by SerlinaBlack (T, 3k, wangxian, time travel, crack treated seriously, jealous WWX)

Four Parts Honey and One Part Vinegar by masked (T, 13k, wangxian, post-canon, 5+1, Mojo’s post)

💖 Hanguang-jun’s Husband by lilacevergarden (alittlemorecreative) (T, 6k, wangxian, time travel, bullying ur younger versions, jealous wwx)

~*~

13. do you have any fics where someone is obsessed/in love w lan zhan and lwj genuinely doesn’t even notice/care because he is so in love with wei ying. thanks!!! <3

Criteria by incendir (T, 10k, wangxian, 4+1)

~*~

14. Hello! Idk if this has already been asked before, but I'm in the mood for immortal wangxian (both or either one is okay), so will you help me find some? Thank you very much.

不忘 | Don't Forget by dragongirlG (E, 50k, wangxian, time travel, reincarnation, fix-it of sorts, social media, identity porn, reunion, pining, angst w/ happy ending, modern era, artist WWX)

We Were Never Strangers by NeverEnoughWangxian (M, 36k, wangxian, reincarnation, modern w/ cultivation, college student WWX, rogue cultivator WWX, immortal LWJ, immortal LSZ, dreams, pining, getting together, happy ending)

💖 so you’ve been robbed by a museum by yukla (M, 6k, wangxian, modern, pining, getting together, immortal wangxian, Mojo’s post)

💖 Persistence of Memory by Admiranda (M, 41k, wangxian, post-canon, past character death, reincarnation, immortal WWX, immortal LSZ, coming of age)

💖 "It's Heating Up in the Cold Springs of Gusu Lan! You Won't Believe This Artwork Really Exists!" by Admiranda (M, 5k, wangxian, present day, immortal wangxian)

💖 The World We Made by updatebug (T, 80k, wangxian, the old guard au, immortal LWJ, modern au, angst w/ happy ending)

💖 Wandering Souls, Wild Ghosts by belleweather (E, 49k, wangxian, immortal wangxian, post-canon, victorian era, case fic, check all the tags)

💖love, in fire and blood by cicer (E, 360k, wangxian, immortal WWX, slow burn, pining, arranged marriage, Mojo’s post)

💖 the recluse at the end of the moonlit path by b_ofdale (T, 29k, wangxian, modern, reincarnation, immortal LWJ, light angst, reunions)

💖 I would wait for a thousand years by bleuett (T, 10k, wangxian, post-canon, immortal LWJ, memory loss, hurt/comfort, curses, reunions, reincarnation, angst w/ happy ending)

~*~

15. Hi! Love the blog and all the fics you share! I've found so many new ones and rediscovered some older ones that still bring me joy :) Do you know any fics where lwj falls for his friend's (jyl's) younger brother (wwx), or where wwx falls for his friend's (lxc's) younger brother (lwj)? TIA :D

💖 love on 35mm by fakeplasticlily (M, 26k, wangxian, modern au, college/university au, pining, LWJ is BFFs with JYL)

Brotherly Intentions by panicking (Not rated, 33k, wangxian, LXC/JC, modern, coffee shop au, teacher WWX, LWJ falls for his bro’s BF’s bro)

~*~

16. Hi! I hope everyone is fine! Thanks for all the hard work <3 <3 I was wondering if for the next in the mood for may I ask for A) single parent!wwx? Or just wwx with sizhui goodness <3  and B) any fic with OP!wwx please <3 thank you and I hope you have an awesome day

16A)

The storm comes and goes (and I keep walking) by Naamah_Beherit (M, 41k, canon divergence, found family, blood & injury, canonical character death, identity reveal, no romance, Mojo’s post here)

estuaries by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 34k, wangxian, modern, break up/make up, pining while fucking, single dad, angst w/ happy ending) 

Floriography by ms_134340 (T, 15k, wangxian, flower shop au, teacher WWX, single dad WWX, sick character, flower language, fluff, romance)

And They Were Quarantined series by thunderwear (E, 49k, 3 works (complete), wangxian, 3zun)

River Eyes by AgentFreeWill (G, 5k, wangxian, single dad WWX, dragonji, pre-slash, curses)

A Knight in Shining Armor by thievinghippo (G, 6k, wangxian, single dad WWX, fluff, meet-cute)

feel it so strong (we don’t even have to say goodbye) by bee_knife (DisasterBiAlert) (E, 6k, wangxian, modern, strangers to lovers, love at first sight, single dad WWX, fluff & smut, happy ending)

diagnosis: you're in love by monsshi (G, 4k, wangxian, modern, hospital au, romance, fluff, getting together, humor, meet-cute)

Professor Lan, Babysitter Extraordinaire by Eleanor_Fenyx (G, 4k, wangxian, fluff, single parent WWX, professor LWJ, mature student WWX)

Going Home At Last by Mollshka (CaptainAmelia22) (G, 3k, wangxian, fluff & angst, happy ending, neighbor)

Xian-gege and A-Yuan series by HeloSoph (M, 17k, WWX & LSZ, wangxian, post-first siege of BM, not cultivation world friendly, not JC & NMJ & JGS & LQR friendly, golden core fix-it, truth revealed, petty LWJ, hopeful ending)

16B)

The storm comes and goes (and I keep walking) by Naamah_Beherit (Mojo’s post here)

💖 Echo, Murmur, Dream, Here by bluerainmist (M, 51k, wangxian, canon divergence, WWX survives, sect leader WWX, yiling wei sect au, slow burn, angst w/ happy ending, getting together, pining, love confessions, reunions, mind all the tags)

~*~

17. Hii 😣 Can someone help me find these fics ?

I can't find the fics where WWX and Juniors go on Night hunts and WWX gets injured pretty bad, mixed with reconciliation with Jin Ling and JC, they're likes post canon but when I use post canom tag I can't find any of them. Completed ones with some.angst and happy endings where it has WWX, Juniors, LWJ, and/or JC and Jin Ling reconciliation,.family, healing. (I hope someone made a collection or would make a collection of these fics so they are easier to find.)

I knows there's a lot and I've read quite a few and yet I can't find any of the ones I'm looking for and can't remember there titles sob

Example, like there's a fic where the Juniors and WWX are on Night hunt and they meet a demon and need back up, WWX gets very injured, and JL Sees his past memories while the rest are trying to save them.🥺 please help me find them.

Like ones LWJ and WWX Night hunt fics where WWX nearly dies, mixed part of/ or Night hunt fics with Juniors and WWX or both WWX and LWJ similar to that, as well as JL and JC, with reconciliation fics for those three. (Like post canon stuff, even though it's possibly not tagged that way since I can't find it with the tag) And like one example above. 😣  I'm sad I'm struggling to find them all. Please 🙏@love-yiling-laozu

Don't let go by Moonlit_dewdrops (G, 7k, JC & WWX, wangxian, hurt/comfort, hurt WWX, angst w/ happy ending)

before you stumble by ribena (currently unavailable) ( yunmeng bros reconciliation, wwx bonding w juniors on a night hunt, getting hurt/injured )

Build me no shrines by occultings (M, 54k, wangxian, case fic, night hunting w/ juniors, WWX & JC reconciliation)

~*~

18. hello!! I have a weird itch I want to scratch but do you know of any fics where it’s emphasized how lan sizhui/a yuan is the sect heir of gusu lan? thanks!! <3

promissory notes series by kakikaeru (T, 57k, LSZ/LJY, wangxian, JL/OZZ, canon typical violence, post-canon)

...Until We Get It Right by Setari (G, 5k, 2nd in series and it’s recommended to read the first fic first, 5+1, kid fic, next generation, family feels)

Mending the Pieces by JustAWanderingBabbit (G, 98k, 3zun, post-canon, reincarnation) a third-generation fic in which the 3Zun have reincarnated together  into a commoner village; LSZ is Sect Leader by then.

~*~

19. I was hoping I could ask for some JadesYing/Xichen/Wangji/Wuxian fics, preferably with Jadecest but it doesn't have to be. Also hoping for some fics recs that are on tumblr and/or Twitter or something because I have read a lot from AO3 but I would still take recs from AO3, I just was hoping for more recs from other sites too! I like happy endings mostly and bottom Wei Ying. Thanks 🥰

Grey Eyes to Kill a Ghost. by JaenysBloodcourt (M, 3k, LWJ/WWX/LXC, no incest, threesome, post-canon, angst w/ happy ending)

The Lan brothers and Wei Ying make porn series by Foregone_Shadow (E, 76k, LWJ/WWX/LXC, modern, porn au, incest, threesome, past rape/non-con, mind all the tags in all the works!)

wwx gets railed series by Anonymous (E, 12k, LWJ/WWX/LXC, PWP, mind all the tags)

给我再去相信的勇气 // the courage to believe by howodd5ever (E, 55k, LWJ/WWX/LXC, threesome, incest, dual cultivation, burial mounds settlement days, dub-con, undernegotiated kink, angst, check all the tags)

take this weight of mine by soliloqui (E, 85k, LWJ/WWX/LXC, post-canon, seclusion, depression, dissociation, PTSD, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, dual cultivation, incest, hurt/comfort, smut, angst w/ happy ending)

Embers by xantissa (E, 38k, LWJ/WWX/LXC, angst, fluff, falling in love, sex curse, dub con, hurt/comfort, grief, sibling incest, happy ending)

~*~

20. Hello, I am in the mood for a fic that is not Jiang friendly and shows wwx getting the help he needs after the abuse from madame yu.

💖  in payment, a hand series by justdoityoufucker (M, 10k, wangxian, not jiang friendly, amputation, injury recovery, self reflection, abusive YZY, families of choice)

💖rain falls and soaks into the earth by RoseThorne (T, 37k, wangxian, no war au, near death, hurt WWX, psychological trauma, depression, justice, fear, angst, attempted murder, recovery, mind all the tags, series in progress)

the peaceful old broad river by Sienne (Not rated, 11k, WQ & WWX & WN, hinted wangxian, WQ pov, time travel, found family, family feels, no golden core transfer)

~*~

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[i-did-not-mean-to]

Next part of the weird Thorin-story that comes to me while I swim

Dear friends…Here I am again with another part of a story I had not planned to write and that has taken on a life of its own…

I love you, don’t hate me…

(Warning: this is less formal and a lot more…ridiculous than the last parts)

(It is “in-universe”, but barely, because I have no idea of the universe per se…)

She took the bowls to the river to rinse them in the cold waters that glittered and glimmered in the dimming light; the way the last sun of the day reflected in the ever-changing blue hues reminded her of the man she was travelling with.

It came as a very small surprise to her that her old nan had been mostly right about the dwarves, and she was more inclined to believe her post-mortem, now that she had seen a dwarf lord, no a future king, with her own eyes.

She harboured not the inkling of a doubt in her mind that he would indeed be king one day; there was something so noble in his demeanour and deportment that she found it easy enough to have faith in him. He was clearly born to lead, just as she had been born to serve.

A pang of pain washed over her heart like the cold water submerged her numb hands; she wished she could tell her grandmother about the magical creature she had come upon in the woods. How nan would have loved to hear about a man whose eyes held all the mystery of endless tunnels and the deep longing of the open sea at the same time; she would have laughed and nodded her fragile, little head, saying that kneeling was easy to those who will stand up for you as a protector rather than as an executioner.

“You shall find your master one day.” Old nan used to exclaim every time her young granddaughter had been particularly wilful or disobedient, running wild in the forest or toying around with the ingredients the old woman had collected during long hours.

She had loved her nan, but she had not believed that anyone would ever manage to curb her spirit and bind it to their will. “There are things between heaven and earth, child, that you cannot even fathom. Creatures of great strength, beings of profound wisdom, and lives full of beauty and suffering; one day, you’ll find your place in the grand design and you shall bow to its magnitude.”

At this moment, her nan’s words revealed their true and full meaning. She had believed that walking to the chapel every day would be her life’s work, but she had been wrong. All her life, she had but been waiting for the quest to begin. A quest for truth and for freedom.

His cloak was still around her shoulders and she regretted having to take it off to slip back into her own, sinfully rumpled, clothes. Checking if he was looking at her, she lifted his garment to her face and inhaled.

It smelled of woodsmoke, pine needles and of something darker that she could not identify, for she had not known any man before. Not like that. She had not smelled their skin and thought about pressing her lips against theirs; she had spent her youth with an old woman and her adulthood alone.

“Woman, there are hills in the distance. Can we reach them before night falls?” He called out to her and she dropped the garment, feeling caught and embarrassed.

“No, but we should reach them soon after. Why?” She responded, returning to where he stood, both feet firmly planted on a rocky outcrop cutting through the grass like a blade.

“We could spend the night in one of the caves in the rocks.” He cocked one eyebrow as if that had been a very obvious thing to consider.

Approaching the point where he stood, already holding on to her cart, she hesitated.

“We cannot.” Her feet stopped moving entirely as they bumped against the edge of the rock.

“I have never gone beyond this point. This is where the wilderness starts.” She whispered, pulling a small, needle-like dagger from her pocket and planting it forcefully in her forearm. While her blood dripped onto the grass, she said a quiet prayer.

“What are you doing?” He asked, interested and slightly alarmed to see her bleed onto the floor.

“My blood is bound to this earth, Master Dwarf, I want the ground to remember me and to bring me home if ever I lose my way.” She sighed before adding with a tremor in her voice: “Many have not come back after stepping past this stone. This is where the world of fire and mystery starts.”

He looked at her with calm interest. “We are getting ever closer to where my kin lives.” He declared, an unspoken question in his eyes. “Aye.” She nodded, forcing herself to smile.

“Are you afeared?” – “Aye.” She repeated, but with a heaving sigh, she lifted her foot onto the ledge. His hand closed around her elbow as he pulled her up and took his cloak from her cold, trembling hands. “You may turn back now; I won’t resent you.”

She laughed in a low, rumbling voice. “I cannot turn back, Master Thorin, I have pledged my service to you. Your story is part of my blood now, inscribed forever in this earth you might never tread upon again. Maybe, it always has. Maybe, old nan knew what would happen long before I was born.”

He had to admire her blind faith. She seemed so brave in her belief that all that happened was meant to be. Closing his hand around the shells buried in his pocket, he decided to believe her.

“Why can we not take refuge in the caves?” He then asked as they made their way through the rougher terrain. Sometimes, he had to steady her as she tottered and stumbled because she could not see the small boulders jutting out of the ground like gravestones; she never complained or pulled away from him and the smile she wore in the semi-penumbra was full of faith and affection.

“You cannot breach the integrity of the rock and delve into it without being given permission. It is rude and bad manners lead to bad accidents.” She shrugged.

“Another teaching of old nan?” He commented without irony or ill-will. “Everything beyond that rock”, she pointed to the ledge they had just passed, “is alive. We are now in the realm of the old souls where the trees have voices and the stones are stubborn. Listen, Master Dwarf.” She murmured and he was surprised, again, at the simplicity with which she accepted these things.

Indeed, he could feel the rock underneath the thin layer of greenery thrum with anticipation; it had been a long time since last someone had come this way.

“The stone bears you no ill will, woman.” He heard himself say in a low, gentle voice. Her tread was so light that it felt like a caress to the neglected ground; or, maybe, it was the inherent reverence she seemed to hold for everything around her that swayed the unmoving to support her insecure, flailing steps as well as they could.

“I give thanks to its gracious acceptance then.” She smiled, kneeling on the ground immediately and pressing both her hands to it in silent prayer.

This, he thought, was why she had survived. She had believed herself out of the reach of what she called “magic wilderness”, but he was almost certain that every element surrounding her had conspired to keep her safe.

“I have a sister.” Why did he tell her those things? “Oh, really? Is she beautiful?” She looked up.

“No, she’s a terrible…yes, she’s…She’s my sister. I guess she’s alright. Others find her beautiful.” He laughed and her smile broadened while the ground hummed in agreement with the joy they were spreading.

“She has those two terrible boys. I wonder…Would you teach them?” He was not usually this open, protecting his family and their secrets with fierce jealousy, but a part of him wanted her warm light of affection and respect to shine on his kin as much as on himself.

“Teach them what? What could a simple maiden like me teach princes?” She scoffed.

Maiden? Had she really told him that? She could have died of embarrassment.

Thankfully, he did not pick up on it, instead pinching the bridge of his impressive nose and groaning: “Respect…and how to swim.”

“Love shines brighter than respect, Master Thorin, but it doesn’t cancel it out. I’ve respected nan a great deal, but I loved her more. You are their uncle first and their king second, I’m afraid.” She smiled and he was struck by the truth in her words. It had been a silly remark, only half-serious, but her earnest tone chased away all teasing in his voice as he agreed with her.

“Keep that gorgeous head over the waterline and you’ll be fine.” She then picked up on the second part of his sentence seamlessly with a cheeky wink. “That much, I had figured out.”

They neared the looming rock now, pocked with caves and alcoves, and her steps slowed.

“Trust me, we are quite welcome.” He reassured her when he saw her hesitate; her hand slid very willingly into his own as he led her up a narrow ledge, leaving the cart at the foot of the small rise.

“I’ve told you so much about my sorry, lonesome life. Tell me more about yours if you please.” She asked as they entered a spacious cave. “We are on our way to rejoin my kin in Ered Luin.” He started, his face growing hard and unforgiving for a second in the light of the small fire he was coaxing to life. “One day, I shall reclaim Erebor though.”

She gasped. Another childhood story seemed to bleed from her befuddled mind into the real world surrounding her. “The lonely mountain…is real?” She asked, her breath bated.

“Of course it is real. What do you mean? What do you know about it?” He looked up sharply.

She had poured over every map in the small library of her town, she had even asked for express permission to enter the one in the richer, more sophisticated neighbouring town and she had questioned every travelling merchant she had encountered, but nobody had ever seen that fabled mountain. Many had even scoffed and laughed at her, shooing her away like an unruly child with too many questions and not enough common sense.

“Oh no, you were telling me a story, Master Dwarf.” She shook her head, undecided if she should tell him about a family secret; after all, since she had met him, many things she had imagined being mere fiction and a dash of conjecture had turned out to be completely true. Maybe, he would know more about those things and old mysteries would finally be resolved.

“As I said, I shall reclaim Erebor and lead my people home…after the bane is dead.”

“Which bane?” She cradled her head in her hands, elbows resting on her drawn-up knees and listened to him talk. He had a deep and melodic voice, the voice of century-old pride and eternity-spanning strength, and she liked the way it soothed the gnawing fear inside of her guts.

The sound of his voice was a presence in itself, reassuring and as solid as the creature it spilled forth from; it conveyed confidence and inspired trust. It was the voice of a king, booming in alarm and lulling in peaceful narration.

“The dragon, Smaug.” He uttered with disdain and barely held-back anger. “A dragon? Really?” She shook her head, dazed beyond words; dragons were even less likely to exist than dwarves.

“Yes, really. What other creatures do you not believe in?” He seemed partially impatient and partially amused; when his face split into a dazzling grin though, she realised that he was mostly entertained by her apparent naïveté.

“Are there really creatures made of pure light who can talk to trees and float over the ground?”

“His name is Thranduil and he’s a pain in the ass. Excuse the language, he’s a treacherous, disloyal coward, but yes, he is fair. As in…he shines with a cold, hard light. He rides an elk and some say that his soul can travel in the form of a white cow…or deer…or something stupid like that.” Thorin grumbled, heat flushing his face upon thinking of that distasteful creature he was describing. She laughed, she threw her head back and laughed heartily, her laughter echoing deep within the lonely stones encasing them. “Amazing!” She wheezed, clapping her hands and, had he hated Thranduil just a smidgen less, he would have been tempted to take her to the dark woods that cursed king lived in just to see her marvel at him.

That leaf-muncher riding other grass-eating dumb beasts did not deserve her starry-eyed wonder, even though, Thorin didn’t doubt that for one instant, the king of dark trees would have loved that.

She would also enjoy the forest, at least the way it had once been; she would love the different berries and herbs one could find galore in the shade of the trees that did indeed whisper of their dark secrets.

“Oh, I hope you won’t be disheartened by the long walk. There’s so many people I want you to meet: my darned nephews, my fiery sister…Ori, he sure loves a good story. If you start telling him your stories, he’ll follow you around like a puppy.” Thorin rumbled and she was struck by the love in his voice. These people sounded interesting and she couldn’t wait to meet them.

He inspected the fading burns and muttered: “Óin will want the recipe for this salve. If you manage to charm the old boy, and I’m sure you will, he might trade some of his own tinctures and potions with you.”

“Oh, I’d love to share my recipes with him. I’m sure there’s a dire need for it…with furnaces and dragons and such things.” She exclaimed, completely disregarding the gravity of the subject.

“Do you think they’d want to meet me though? I am just a human and far from the best of them.” Suddenly, she was overcome by a sense of dread and insecurity. She had never left her valley and the surrounding area; she would strike them as a silly girl who knew nothing of the world they had been born and raised in.

“You’re charming and you bring skills and knowledge we’d greatly profit from…but yes, we’re a private people and there will be dwarves who will not take to you kindly. I shall do my best to protect you.” He would not lie to her and she was thankful for his candid words.

“I have been poor and outcast all my life, I am not afraid of being shunned. I am used to a life in the shadows surrounding the bright lights.” She gave him a warm smile that was meant to be reassuring; she did not want him to trouble himself on her behalf.

“There will be none of that under my rule.” He sounded definitive, clearly, the last word was spoken on the matter and she dared not contradict him.

“Will you tell me of your prophecy?” His voice was soft now, enchanting, coaxing, seductive.

“Will you tell me of your mountain?” She shot back in the same melting tone.

“Tell me what you know of it first.” He challenged her and she blew up her cheeks in an effort to remember the exact words, handed down from generation to generation in her family. From daughter to daughter, words spoken in kitchens over steaming cups of herbal brew and at bedsides when the fire burned low.

“When my nan’s mother was but a babe in arms, or was it her grandmother, I don’t recall…either way, a traveller came to them.” She rolled her eyes, adding in a narrator-tone “Travellers coming seems to be a theme in our family history”.

“So, a traveller came and told them a great treasure had been received in the Lonely Mountain.”

“The Arkenstone.” Thorin exploded, shocked and outraged, apparently, she had touched upon another one of his well-guarded and jealously kept secrets.

“No, it didn’t sound like it was a stone. It was said that – after desolation and ruin, after being lost and found, upon returning home through the fire to lead his people – he, whoever he is, will be the “spring”.”

She paused, rubbing her index along her lower lip slowly to focus her mind.

“Go on…” He encouraged her. “I do not know if “spring” is meant in the sense of the season of rebirth or of the source of something good…or even as the coil that will catapult the world into the future, but he shall be the “spring”.”

She shrugged. “It’s been, oh so many years, and no doubt, the story has been tweaked beyond recognition or sense, but there it is. We’ve only ever heard of that place once: as the crib of a miracle.”

She shivered in the flickering light of the dying embers and when he took her hand, it was icy cold. “It’s a real place…I was born there, but we had to leave when the dragon came. It has vast halls, once filled with laughter and light, and…a treasure.” He tried to hold up his end of the bargain.

“You said that twice.” She teased. “What?” He frowned.

“You said that you have lived there and then you said there was a treasure. I understood you the first time.” She grinned when a treacherous blush stole into his cheeks. He was a warrior and a leader, he was not used to shameless flattery from females and he did not know how to react.

“I meant an actual treasure. Gold and gems.” He stammered, lost for words.

“I meant an actual treasure too, silver and marble.” She smiled, waving aside his embarrassment.

“Did you believe in that prophecy?” He then asked, to change the subject.

“Oh, Master Dwarf, human lives are short, but we believe in cycles. We are born, we live, we die, but everything and everyone comes back somehow. What has been lost, will be found. What has left, might well return. Nan used to say when one is at a loss, one should go back to where it ended, because chances are, that’s exactly where it will start again.”

Giving his hand a slight squeeze, she whispered: “You will face your dragon again, you will see your home again, you will have the chance to walk the same path backwards and find new solutions to old problems. This is not the end, it is but another beginning.”

She looked like an old, wise woman herself now, despite the youth of her face and the softness of her body, for her eyes seemed timeless. How many cycles had those eyes and the knowledge within them seen?

“Where is old nan now?” He asked. “Buried under the chapel where you found me. Where I found you.” Her smile was unfathomable and deep, as if the world held no secrets for her anymore, and he was in awe of her once again.

“You are cold.” He said in a hushed voice when she shivered again. He remembered how she had plunged into the cold water for his dinner and suspected that she had never really dried.

“I am fine.” She crept a little closer to the dying fire. “I don’t want to leave you here to fetch more wood.” He murmured as if to himself and she was quick to promise that she was completely comfortable the way she was. She had known cold and darkness before and she was not afraid of it.

“Will you teach my nephews to swim then?” He prompted her again, just to see her warm smile. She thought them children, but to her, they would look like full-grown men already.

“I could not bear to see such beautiful hair turned into this.” She pointed at the matted, tangled mass of her own hair hanging in a wild nest from her head.

“Their hair is pitiful either way. You might want to brush, should I give you privacy?” He offered, turning around and handing her a comb.

She wondered where he had taken it from, but she suspected that he brushed his own luscious locks obsessively every time her head was turned away, because there was no way his hair looked like this on its own.

He could hear the comb dragging through her hair and the sweet smell of fresh water filled the air, a note of citrus and wild flowers dancing on the waves the scent conjured up, and he had to grit his teeth to keep himself from turning around.

“You know you can watch me brush my hair? I don’t make a secret out of it.” She laughed after a moment and he did not need more coaxing or inviting than that; he spun around immediately, his eyes riveted on her slow movements.

She felt slightly awkward with him staring at her as if she was about to undress in a slow, salacious way; more than ever, she was convinced that he brushed his hair in secret in a kind of semi-erotic ritual. His hair was of course also something that was quite bewitching.

She didn’t question the fact that she seemingly found everything about him enchanting, literally from the top of his head down to the sturdy boots he was pulling off now.

“Don’t do that, you’ll get cold feet.” She warned, mainly because her own felt frozen stiff by now, but he just gave a rumbling chuckle that seemed to be echoed by the walls.

“I am…not.” He laughed, rubbing his thumb over her cold, frail hand slowly to show her that he was much better than her at keeping his body temperature stable.

“So…have you always been a herb witch?” He asked, not letting go of her hand. For some reason, he just couldn’t bear when she fell into silence. He was so full of questions; old nan had never told her that dwarves were such nosy creatures.

“What? I am not. I am a potter by trade. I started making the vessels for my nan’s tinctures, but when…after the plague, there was no need for vases and plates and so I made money how I could.” I needed to eat, she thought, and my nan’s knowledge of the world around her saved my life.

“A potter?” He sounded taken aback. “Yes, Master Thorin, I make fragile things to be used just like you make durable, strong things to be used. We are what we make, it seems.”

He cocked one eyebrow: “You don’t strike me as particularly fragile.”

“I guess it doesn’t matter anyway, we learn a trade and we work in it, but ultimately, we must come back to our blood and the responsibility we have towards it, don’t we?”

He nodded slowly. One of her hands felt warm now, encased as it was in his huge paw, while the other one was still numb with cold.

For one moment, she debated if this was the moment to be prideful, but then she just extracted her hand from his, shoving it into the gap between her tunic and her skin.

He looked positively hurt by her action.

“I am sorry.” He mumbled. “Why? For what?” She asked as she extended her other hand to him; he just stared at it in confusion. “Could you warm this one up as well, please, Master Dwarf?”

It was mortifying having to ask, but he seemed puzzled. “Oh, I thought I had crossed a line by holding your hand for so long…I…you snatched it away to tuck it away in a safe place…kind of…wiping it…I don’t know.” He confessed.

She didn’t know if she should laugh or frown at that kind of stupidity. “You are very warm.” She simply said, sighing with relief when he took her other hand and rubbed it slowly.

“You are clearly not.” He replied, his strong hands closing around hers up to the wrist. She felt like crawling into him and staying there.

Had nan known about this as well? Had she known that a dwarf lord was like a furnace, radiating light and heat in to the confined space she was huddled up in? The almost dead fire before her seemed a ridiculous, puny thing compared to him.

The hand in her tunic was growing cold again and she proceeded to another sneaky switch, which made him chuckle under his breath. “Scoot in closer?” He offered.

It was inappropriate. He was a king-to-be, he was a creature she had not believed existed in the first place, he was wholly too virile and intimidating, but when he extended his arm she pressed against his ribs with fervent eagerness.

“You’re frozen…and your clothes are wet. How are they wet?” He exclaimed as his arm settled around her shoulders. She had thrown them too carelessly onto the bank and they had soaked up some water, she thought, but she would not tell him about her own stupidity for fear of making him worry more than she was worthy of.

“Enough is enough. I’ll go get some new wood and fetch some dry clothes from the cart. You get out of these rags.” He rumbled, but when he tried to get up, she slung her arm around his waist in a fit of childish petulance.

“I’ll be back soon.” He draped his own cloak around her. “No, you’ll be cold. Take it.” She cried out, extending his garment to him. “Stone and metal hold heat better than mud.” He smiled gently and exited the cavern.

His sudden absence turned the cave into a grave and she scrambled out of her wet clothes with frantic urgency, spreading them on the rocks at the back of the grotto.

“Oh stone, let me hear those heavy footfalls so I know I’m not alone.” She begged, lying down on the floor, his cloak underneath her skin and half-draped across her shivering body.

He found nothing but his own clothes and, in his haste to get back to her, he grabbed a tunic of his and hurried up to the cave again.

She was lying on the floor and for a second, he thought that she might have fainted or worse, but when she sat up, a smile of welcome blossomed on her face that made his heart wince.

His cloak had slipped and he realised that she was back in her chemise, her naked body clearly fathomable under the thin layer of fabric. “I could only find my own tunic, I am, again, so sorry.” He mumbled, walking over to her slowly. She did not flinch or move back; her whole body seemed to lean towards his approaching silhouette instead.

While he threw some twigs onto the fire, begging it to flare into life again for her sake, he couldn’t help observing the way her breasts lifted and sank as she shrugged into his tunic, sighing in an expression of pleasure that was cruelly uncalled-for in her present state of hypothermia.

“Tell me more about your kin, Master Dwarf. Tell me about the people I shall meet so I shall know them when I see them.” She begged, extending her arms to make him sit down by her side.

“Are you still cold?” He asked, alarmed, as he settled next to her. She slipped back under his arm like a child, feeling frail and shivering, but sighing contentedly.

“I shall be warm in a minute. Look at the fire, Master Dwarf, what beautiful things we could fashion if we had the tools and the time.” She murmured, fatigue making her voice grow slow and melting, like honey dripping onto his senses.

He was aware of her slowly heating up flesh and her tiny hand resting innocently on his thigh as she was snuggled against him the way his nephews had when they had been but tiny little things. Only, he had never felt the fire pass from the hearth in front of him into his bloodstream when his nephews had sought solace or protection under his wing. He had not wondered about the way he might feel or smell when they had been this close to his body.

“I think that you’ll like Balin. I really do. He’s kind and smart; he’ll love the stories about your nan. Ah, you’ll get to meet Dwalin as well, he’s…probably my best friend. He’s solid, but he’s…there’s a reason he’s my best friend. We’re…less courteous than we should be.” Thorin started to honour her wish. “You’re lovely, stop it.” She mumbled hazily.

He thought about her words and about the mussel shells he still kept in his pocket. She was right, if he had the tools and the time, he would make something beautiful for her; she deserved something frivolous and gorgeous for all the help and devoted service she had offered him.

His eyes fell on her feet that were extended away from him and he was aghast to see them take a blueish hue. She was not falling asleep; she was succumbing to the surrounding cold still.

“Close in, oh stone, protect her.” He whispered, but the rock around him seemed to mock his words. “Close in, oh son of stone, son of ore, protect her.” Voices thrummed through the unmoving walls, and so he did.

Gathering her up like a bundle of empty clothes, he pulled her into his lap, leaning back against the stone wall and held her there.

Looking down, he saw the naked expanse of her legs which made him feel like an idiot for not having thought of that before. With one hand, he bent her legs at the knee and tucked them safely into the hollow he had created by spreading his own.

She lay flush against him now, he could feel the rise and fall of her chest against his own and, when he pulled his cloak over her gently, his hand brushed the smooth skin of her unclothed thigh.

Just a hand-breadth higher he would have brushed against other parts, secret parts, that were much like his dinner: firmly closed now, but if heated just right, revealing a glittering pearl.

This was a very inopportune thought to have, he berated himself, as his body heated up against his will, making her press against him with ever more fervour.

A maiden, she had used that word, and despite being clearly of age, he wondered if she had meant that in the most allusive and perversely seductive of senses.

When had that plague ravaged her village? When had old nan died? How long had she been alone?

It didn’t matter. She would not consider sacrificing that most precious of prizes to one such as him…She had not denied him anything this far, he remembered, not her time, not her care, not her boundless courage.

Not this though, he curbed his own fanciful imagination, never this. He would not ask anything of her, not before he could show himself worthy of all the things she had given up for his benefit this far.

Her hand snaked up and came to rest just above his heart. “Lovely.” She repeated in a low, mumbling voice.

And, as she was warm and clearly asleep now, he permitted himself the tiny, tortureous indulgence of pressing his lips for one brief moment against her head, resting against his shoulder as if it belonged there. Maybe…it did.

[sciatu]

CAPONATA

Un matrimonio è un evento felice quando ognuno dei due sposi prende le abitudini migliori del partner e li fa sue. A volte succede l’incontrario e i due partner, oltre gli anelli, si scambiano anche i difetti. Partendo da questo presupposto, il matrimonio tra la caponata e il pane, è un matrimonio di successo. Tu hai da una parte la caponata che è un orchestra di gusti anche contrastanti ma che l’abbraccio del pane esalta, unisce calma e sottolinea. Ora non so se tu hai avuto la fortuna di mangiare una caponata fatta come si deve, una con le melanzane fritte per bene e i peperoni dolci, con il sedano ancora un pò croccante con il suo gusto salato, le cipolle squisitamente dolci contrastate nella loro irruenza dalla presenza ammorbidente delle patate e infine il sentore dei capperi che essendo un fiore mai sbocciato conserva in se tutto il profumo del mare e del sole di agosto. Non so se in questa già impegnativa degustazione hai ancora spazio per sentire la dolcissima uva passa e la resinosa presenza dei pinoli di montagna o il gusto delle olive ancora ricche si umori oleosi, ma tutti questi sapori ecco si alternano passando ora dalla dolcezza dei singoli elementi, ora all’acidità con cui li hai battezzati grazie al bicchiere di aceto rosso che vi hai versato. In tutta questa sinfonia di sensazioni, sapori e quindi emozioni, ecco entrare di scena il pane che funge da amante legandosi a tutti questi sapori e unendosi in un perfetto matrimonio equilibrato, intenso dominante nella forza umile e devoto nel piacere che dona. E’ un pane di grano duro, con personalità e presenza, che ti riempie di soddisfazione mentre fai la scarpetta raccogliendo nel sugo ricco di sapori anche una fetta di melanzana o una patata o il rosso peperone, oppure l’uvetta e il sedano o la patata e i pinoli. Se il piacere è peccato allora la caponata è un cibo peccaminoso, ma se la felicità è il riflesso di Dio dentro di noi, allora nessun altro cibo è il paradiso come la caponata con il pane.

A wedding is a happy event when each of the two spouses takes their partner's best habits and makes them their own. Sometimes the opposite happens and the two partners, in addition to the rings, also exchange defects. Starting from this premise, the marriage between caponata and bread is a successful marriage. You have on one side the caponata which is an orchestra of even contrasting tastes but which the embrace of bread enhances, combines calm and emphasizes. Now I don't know if you were lucky enough to eat a properly made caponata, one with well-fried aubergines and sweet peppers, with celery still a little crunchy with its salty taste, exquisitely sweet onions contrasted in their impetuousness from the softening presence of potatoes and finally the scent of capers which, being a flower that has never blossomed, retains all the scent of the sea and the August sun. I don't know if in this already demanding tasting you still have room to feel the sweet raisins and the resinous presence of mountain pine nuts or the taste of olives still rich in oily moods, but all these flavors alternate now passing by the sweetness of the individual elements , now to the acidity with which you baptized them thanks to the glass of red vinegar you poured them. In all this symphony of sensations, flavors and therefore emotions, here comes the bread that acts as a lover binding to all these flavors and joining in a perfect balanced marriage, intense dominant in the humble strength and devoted in the pleasure it gives. It is a durum wheat bread, with personality and presence, which fills you with satisfaction while you are collecting by it a slice of eggplant or a potato or red pepper, or raisins and celery or potato and pine nuts. If pleasure is a sin then caponata is a sinful food, but if happiness is the reflection of God within us, then no other food lead you to heaven like caponata with bread.

[clownao]

So, with the discourse and you change of view on HayaChi dynamics, how do you feel about Which Partner? Did that spoil your interest in this story? Is it a "It was fun while it lasted but I'm not coming back to it"? "I would like to come back to it but there's just too many things to write first"? (Basically, consider this ask a free thought dumping coupon, haha)

Hi Green 💚💚 thanks for dropping by! :DD

To be honest, the discourse didn’t affect my motivation to make HayaChi content hahah (it kinda propelled me to write out of spite tho hah). But yes, it’s about time I talk about Which Partner lol.

I still love Which Partner. It’s through that fic that I made many of my tumblr friends <33 and the fic itself is just really important to me.

BUT-

I don’t really... agree with the fic anymore. At least, not the 100k ish words I posted. Not because it’s bad, per se, even though it does have mildly problematic elements that I picked up from Miraculous Ladybug (and my immature view of romance). It’s a high school classmates to friends to lovers, romantic comedy, fantasy/action fic. It’s exactly something my 2018 self would love and write. But not what my 2021 self would enjoy enough to finish the entirety of the fic (since it’s 1/3 done now).

It’s not an issue with the ship or the fandoms, I just kinda grew out of shipping in general lol. (If anything, I’m growing more attached to HayaChi because it’s different from the fics I usually ship and they work well platonically lol.)

Which Partner’s writing style is the fluffy romcom blushy UwU style that I’ve used so many times that it’s practically muscle memory, and there’s nothing wrong with that style. It’s just not what I would want to write now. It’s not something I identify with now. And yes, I grew out of that style and that attitude towards romance, so my view on the HayaChi naturally dynamics changed.

So, what am I going to do with Which Partner?

Upon rereading the fic, I’ve realised that I currently view WP! HayaChi very, very differently from canon HayaChi. I can separate WP! HayaChi from canon HayaChi and continue with it merrily, but it’s not going to be how I would write canon HayaChi lmao.

... it would be fun to incorporate character + relationship growth in WP according to how I feel now, but the tone and continuity of WP is so established that changing it suddenly would feel... weird. And it won’t align with the original vision or sth.

But despite this whole relationship mumbo jumbo, I have some scenes that I desperately want to write even now. I’m just tired of the build up and the mutual pining.

And I’ll be frank: the fic has no plot. None. I tried making lore but it just doesn’t fit. The only plot is the love square. Who’s Kochou? A poorly written one dimensional villain with only a name to his character. (jk)

SO I think I’ll at least write the scenes I want to write. I’ll be skipping character arcs and plot points, so it won’t have as much of an impact as it should, but I sure as hell am not gonna ditch a fic without writing the scenes I started the fic for lol.

And if I do ditch it, I’ll post the fic outline. I think it’s only fair to anyone who’s still following it... although idk who still is lmao.

I’ll do something about it later when I have time lol. Maybe I’ll continue but with a drastic change. Maybe I’ll continue like how I wanted to in the beginning. Maybe I’ll just post the scenes I want to write. Maybe my views will have changed by the time I’m free. I don’t know.

But this is what I’ve got now. And if you’re reading this, thanks for reading up till now <33

[shesawriter39049]

|FAMILY TIES|MAFIA AU|M|KTH|

SMUT/AGNST/SUSPENSE/FLUFF

Pairing: Underboos Taehyung X Underboss Reader

FT- OT7 CAMEO’S (Heavy Namjoon he’s the readers Bodyguard) 

This is a long-awaited “update” for my Taehyung (M) Mafia AU “Family Ties” Below you will find a summary and a link to the master list if you’re someone who found this just from the tags and doesn’t already know the series...which I’m sure will be a TON of people (Lol)

AU SUMMARY: A powerful alliance made up of 4 families spanning over a decade, is suddenly turned on its head when one family has a new leader after an unexpected death. Well, let’s just say he’s not down to follow the somewhat civilized rules your families have inforced. Sooo now, it’s game on…

UPDATE: 

I am in a huge dilemma and I guess I could use some help/suggestions bc I constantly get asked about this particular story like no other!

...I posted the first chapter of this series...1/2/2019…..the series was unplanned and unexpected..

What prompted the AU, to begin with, was a smut drabble I made called “Such a Brat” where Tae and the reader have sex in a supply closet at a party..and it ends with a hinted shootout taking place outside…..not sure why I opted to take that route but I did…

Also...that drabble was written on the 1st of Jan...and part 1 of Family Ties which is like 8K...was posted on Jan 2nd.

At the time I had only been back on Tumblr for maybe 3 months after taking almost a 4-year break! I was very new to the BTS fandom/BTS in general actually fun fact my first two drabbles that are now private (Posted in Mid Oct 2018)….where written solely off edits on Pinterest...I actually wasn’t even a “fan” then!  I just wanted inspo to write....

My dilemma stems from the way the story has progressed...

The plot of this series was based on a script I wrote called “Blood Lines” back in like 2017, I think initially my brain altered the outline because....

I guess if in some far fetched reality... if the script got picked up there would be differences between this and the AU! I know, I know it probably sounds crazy but that was my reasoning, I didn’t want my fanfic to be exactly the same as my script!

Where I miscalculated is...I did not think people would enjoy it the way they did...I did not think in all honesty it would continue past part one actually!

Honestly, looking back on it I think I was on such a high from the feedback that drabble got because I was so new to the fandom that I just jumped to the first thing and wrote Family Ties...In all of a day...which I NEVER do anymore. My brain would shut the fuck down!

In reality, the plot IS the same, It’s still about the alliance getting internally ripped apart and a war starting within the black market... however how we get there and some of the characters dynamics is what’s different…

A little spoiler, in this series, Tae and the reader start off with a dysfuctional FWB dynamic, IE they both love each other but they’re stubborn AF! In part 1 of the original version, when all hell breaks loose it’s litterally hours after Tae proposes to Luxx (The OC’s nickname if your not familiar)

There storyline was suppose to start with them finally getting over the cat and mouse chase..and finding out how truly diffcult it is to openly be in love with and protect someone while living in there “world”.

 If we’re being 100% honestly I’m actually not a fan of ANY chapter now that I look back on it up until the ending of chapter 3!

If I had it my way I’d start over….but I know that’s not ideal, even though we’re only 4 chapters in these chapters are long AF...and you guys have already gotten SO damn invested. The series was mapped out to have 12 chapters..but it’s I think hard for me to put it together because I’m personally not happy with the series because I know the way it was meant to be….

 I want to give you guys closure...I’m not tired of this universe per se I guess now...a year and 4 months in I’m just pissed at myself that I didn’t just stick to the initial outline…I feel like now I’m stuck as to how to reign it all in because the last 7 chapters would flow better in my opinion IF I started it the way it was meant to be…

I know it’s hard because you guys don’t know the original and clearly you enjoy this one or else you wouldn’t read it but I’m not happy with my work the way I’d like to be….

So IDK guys….HELP lol….the masterlist is linked below…..I’m open to suggestions because I enjoy smut I truly do...but I LOVE thrillers/suspense/Mafia..hell even horror! That’s what I actually enjoy over just your typically “Where pineing over each other” plots lol no shade bc I write A LOT of that...but this is my element...which is also probaly why I’m so upset that it’s not what I wanted....

MASTERLIST

COMMENT/COME TALK TO ME PM OR ANON IDC...A bitch is stuck lol end help!

[thefandomsinhalor]

Hey can you suggest any destiel fluffy mutual pining aus? (Preferably not a one shot)

Hello Anon! Thank you for asking and for your patience! I love everything you are suggesting: Destiel, fluff, mutual pining, AUs and multi-chaptered fics. Like, YES PLEASE. I like the way you think. Strangely, not that many featuring *all* these wonderful things came to mind. Some with two of these elements, (a fluffy AU or a mutual pining multi-chaptered, etc)? Sure. But ALL? Hmmm... As I said, I love all these things and the fact that I’m having difficulty naming a few, at the very least, makes no sense. I feel like I forgot everything I’ve ever read 😑 Also, suggesting anything involving Mutual Pining makes me nervous these days because, as I learned this year, many people expect MP to solely involve alternate POVs, which I get...and yet, I feel that some fics with one POV could still be considered mutual pining, depending on the story and how it is handled. But that’s me and it makes me nervous on what to recommend here.

So, here’s what I’ll do: I’ll suggest you a couple of fics from the top of my TBR list that (based on the tags) seemingly fit your request and then I’ll give you some that I have read that are...close enough lol. 😊💜

From my TBR never-ending list:

A Million Words by followyourenergy (Castiel writes fan fiction, is in love with his best friend and doesn’t know how to tell him ;) )

Life in Pink by youaresunlight (Wedding planner Dean is planning the wedding of his best friend and massive crush!)

Now, some that I have read and absolutely adored:

Peanut Butter-Pumpkin Wedding Cake by Sparseparsley (It’s not MP in the “alternative POVs” sense, but I think it fits, and A++++ for the level of pining. The AGONY is real).

Pies and Prejudice by linoresearch (I will never shut up about this fic. Modern adaptation of P&P, set in a bakery tv contest. I mean...it’s perfect. Same principle of MP as above applies here.)

And since I’m going for the classics lol, might as well suggest Have Love, Will Travel by squeemonster. Not exactly the fluffiest, some angst comes in later on, but there was definitely some good level of mutual pining.  

Fools and Fate by Danica_Dust (Fantasy AU with pining and *some* angst, but I was surprised how sweet this turned out to be when I think of how she had initially talked to me about it. Yes, full disclosure, Danica is my friend, so I may be biased, but I freaking enjoyed this and she is a fantastic writer.)

Although you asked to stay away from one shots, I will nonetheless take the opportunity to suggest White Winter Hymnal by newbluemoon, as it is still 25k long (so...compensation? lol), and while there isn’t any pining per se, sadly, it is quite honestly one of the best fluffy fics I’ve read. 

And at the risk of sounding uber self-promoting, feel free to check out The Waltz of Shilly-Shallying. It’s probably my fluffiest of my mutual piney AU fics lol. Dear Temporary Neighbour, The Moonlight Rule and The Week-Long Sleepover (the latter is also featuring Sabriel), are honourable mentions too, but they do have some angst in there, so yeah lol.

And of course, just in case you didn't know about it, definitely check out the Pinefest collection where pining is prime!

I hope this help! There were some that I could have named, but I tried to stay away from the one shots, canon and massively angsty ones as much as I could...and most likely forgot so many. So, if anyone else reading this have suggestions, please, go nuts and list your faves to help Anon 😊💜💙 Have a nice evening and I hope that you are safe❤️

[iamstartraveller776]

Asks 8 to 13. If you want, why you chose one over the other. Do you prefer too write the same that you prefer to read? Are there any of these that you haven't written yet? Any that you absolutely don't want to? Thanks in advance ^^. -F221

Thank you so much! XD I’m going to answer this one specifically for Lokane for you!

8. Bed sharing or roommates AU?

Roommates. I tend to prefer slower burn stories, and roommates lends itself better for the development of something more, in my opinion. However, I don’t have a strong preference on this one, and I’ve read both. I think... I haven’t written either for Lokane, though.

9. Fake dating or arranged marriage?

Fake dating. I just happen to love that trope! But I also enjoy arranged marriage stories, too. Rumor Has It is my fake dating AU for Lokane. I haven’t written an arranged marriage story for them, but you never know.

10. Mutual pining or enemies to friends to lovers?

ENEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS (and all of its incarnations, including enemies-to-lovers with the friendship coming after the physical intimacy). This is my preferred drug of choice. I will read every and all versions of it. Nearly all of my stories have some elements of this in it. Adventures in Babysitting, Rumor Has It, Text Alert... The rest have some kind of adversarial beginnings with a promise of something more (whether it turns into something healthy and beautiful or something dark and broken). I don’t do much in the way of mutual pining for these two. I don’t dislike the trope, per se, I just don’t really write it. (Maybe Seeing Red in my 100 Themes in Lokidom collection?)

11. Kid fic or childhood friends?

I don’t really like either for Lokane (or most of my other ships, to be honest). I think maybe Kid fic? I say that only because I wrote Boy of the Stars. But then, Seeing Red is a childhood friends story, so... Sometimes I write tropes I don’t really enjoy just to see if I can write something that I would enjoy. (Dunno if that makes sense.)

12. Friends with benefits or secret dating?

Hm. I don’t think I prefer one over the other. They’re middling tropes for me, meaning I don’t dislike them, but I don’t get excited over them either, especially for Lokane. (I think the ship lends itself better to friends with benefits, in my opinion.) I don’t think I’ve written true friends with benefits—more like enemies with benefits—and I think the only stories I have that could come close to counting as secret dating are actually infidelity. Those are not happy stories.

13. Exes or established relationship?

Established relationship. But I don’t necessarily love that much either. It would be surprising if I ever wrote an exes fic. I don’t read them. I tend to nope away from stories that contain that premise. Hate would be too strong a word to describe my feelings about that trope, but it comes close. I generally don’t read or write established relationship stories. I’m kinda in it for the “how they got together” rather than the “what happens once they are together.” But I’ll read it if it’s really, really well-written. (And usually only one shots.) I have a couple of drabbles I’ve written (Waking Up Is Hard to Do and Surprise Gone Awry) where Loki and Jane are in an established relationship that isn’t toxic or dysfunctional.

Thank you again!!

[wackygoofball]

Gwenspiration: The Wacky Version Vol. 3 - The Moodboards

So, here I go again parading myself and tooting like there is no tomorrow.

As people still brave enough to follow me on Tumblr will know, I do a lot of moodboards, or at least I call them such. Others call them collages or storyboards or pictures with random text. Either way, for me, moodboards became a neat tool to somehow capture story ideas not yet anywhere near a level that I could write fic about them - or serve as inspirations for fics I am actually writing.

And it gives me opportunity to hoard unhealthy amounts of Gwen and Nik pics, in the name of moodboards. And science. And stuff. Whoozah!

So yeah, in this post, I want to share some of my personal favorites. A lot of them actually, because I can’t decide, really.

I will start off with a group of moodboards which took inspiration from the Marvel universe, since the Marvel universe was my gateway into the more active parts of fandom.

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An all-time fave is the Iron Man AU... I mean, what not to love about a JB AU with Jaime as sassy Tony Stark and Brienne as the not-taking any shit from you army doctor, am I right? But yeah, seriously, Jaime *is* the Tony Stark of the GOT universe, and I can’t be convinced otherwise. And neither should be you.

Also, the Iron Man suits just totally fit the color scheme for both, which made creating the moodboards all the better for me. Jaime and Brienne were made for armor, now in medieval or modern times, let’s not kid ourselves.

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Another Marvel fave has got to be Captain Westeros. Because if there is a female GOT Version of Steve Rogers, it’s gotta be Brienne of fuckin’ Tarth. This one is really close to my heart because it gave me a lot of feels coming up with plot bunnies for it, and the tragedy of those two people missing each other in time over and over again, always trying to protect one another, only to end up on opposite sides because of the machinations of others... *sigh*

And I mean, one guy loses an arm. The other is blond and strong... I don’t make the rules but this delivers me enough material to re-imagine this as a JB AU... so yeah, I do kinda make the rules after all. Anyway.

Since I realized that this post’s gonna get even looooonger, I decided to make a cut here and put the rest below, so not to have you scrolling for five hours.

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Although it’s not the most popular moodboard amongst my followers (you brave people, I can’t parade you enough for staying through the madness lol), I really, really love that Fantastic Four moodboard and the concept behind it. And I just know a lot of effort went into making Valyrian Steel Brienne, which took all of my three computer editing skillz brain cells. But yeah, here again, I liked to play with the idea of them not admitting to their love until shit hits the fan and then they hide behind that because... drama, angst, feels, pining, yadda.

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And we go from Marvel to DC little quick. Because Brienne is, most certainly, a Wonder Woman. Nuf said.

Now, let’s move on to other big movie franchises that give me all the JB feels:

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Jurassic Park (aka Valyrian Park) evidently holds a special place in my heart because JB fighting dinosaur-dragon hybrids and kicking ass while being disbelieving about what was bred out in Valyria thanks to some certain someones to rescue Brienne’s adoptive daughter Arya is just... a thing? For me anyway.

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More down memory lane, I don’t know how often I watched the LOTR movies, suffice to say it was a lot a lot. We had the extended versions DVDs of the first two and basically it was the one thing to watch when nothing was on (which was the case a lot). Either way. JB in MIddle Earth long after the days of Frodo et al. - why? Because I just loved the idea (and aesthetic) of Jaime as a ranger and Brienne as a knight of Gondor working in disguise. And Hobbipod. I mean, Pod as a Hobbit. Come the fuck on. And Tyrion as an asshole wizard. What could possibly go wrong? This moodboard was very time-consuming as I had to do a lot of edits (pointy ears, tiny up people, smudge Brienne’s face on a lot of Boromir and Faramir images, smudge Jaime’s face on a lot of Aragorn images, you name it). So yeah. No matter its popularity... I dig it. Despite not having read the books yet (I know, shocking), I continue to ogle at the idea and go like: Must. Write. But. Must. Resist. Either way. Mood.

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So yeah, I grew up watching these movies a lot, too (I grew up watching a lot of TV, period). And when Gwen was cast as Captain Phasma, I got a lot of JB juices flowing as a result. Mehe. I found it was a fun idea to play with, to basically *kill* Phasma so *Brienne* can come into play and assume her identity. And a rundown Jedi!Jaime who’s lost faith in himself and everything else safe for his partner in crime/resistance is just... I needz. So you gotta cope with it. I still adore this concept a lot even if others may not. :)

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This one’s just... gah. Feels. And I really liked the color scheme lol. And I watched Horse Whisperer A LOT. Because of feels. And horses. And Honor is a horse and he deserved better than be barbecued at Highgarden, dammit.

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The No Reservations AU definitely has to be in this post because I live for this dynamic. Brienne taking care of the girls, not knowing how, though, constantly doubting herself while always trying to be perfect and composed, not just in life but on the job as well. And Jaime being the laid-back guy who’s just a darn good chef but may carry his own baggage of problems that keep him from his happy ending story is just... mah jam.

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This one was a lot of fun to do because you don’t really think about Erin Brockovich when you say Brienne of Tarth in terms of character. But when you scratch away the boob jokes and the differences in where they come from, what you find are two hard-working women who fight for justice, so I found that close enough. And it was excuse enough for me to go down the lane of biker!Jaime because... dayum.

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Music and Lyrics is an all-time guilty pleasure romcom of mine. It’s so light and easy and I kind of love how everyone is basically a bunch of awkward losers. All the more perfect for Jaime as a singer (we need that in our lives after the infamous video Nik was in to sing to us about global warming...) and Brienne as the unexpectedly gifted songwriter. What I like about the moodboard per se is how the color scheme turned out because it’s all warm and bright and... makes me happy.

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Very much in contrast to the former stands this one. I still love the overall mood of it and I dig the story idea because I dug both The Prestige and The Illustionist because they presented something dark yet very different, which made it all the more appealing to put into a moodboard for me. While not the most well-known moodboard of mine, I keep going back to it time and time again to basically lust at all the illusions and magic and drama. And blue butterflies.

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What is there not to love about a Pacific Rim AU for JB, am I right? Right?! JB ain’t just compatible when it comes to the Drift, yo, that’s all I’m gonna say. Reasons why I like the moodboard a lot is that it’s very different, flashy colors, gigantic robots, and I was mostly alright with how the edits turned out. It is tough to get images that fit the angles, yo.

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Jumping back in time once more, I really adore this one even though it’s not one of my popular moodboards. I dug the fusion of elements from Cinderella Man while granting Brienne as the female lead more space to develop as a character and make her a badass sniper nurse who is about to get her doctor’s degree. And Jaime doing anything to make it work because he owes her a debt (and his love) by boxing his way to their shared life is just... nice.

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Another supposedly lesser known moodboard is this one, though I really adore it for its premise and the amount of work I put into it (all the giffing and moodboarding). I also found use for that image of Gwen with what looks like the veil of a nun, which was probably what had me inspired in the first place lol. The plot bunnies revolve less around Se7en and more the novel El ùltimo Catón (2001) because it has a nun solving a mystery revolving around Dante’s works. But Se7en gives us the Seven, which is a delicious parallel too hard to ignore. For me at least. If only I knew how to write crime, dammit.

Now, to  move more into the serial (smooth transition from serial killer to serial TV shows, I know, I know) way of life, here is some moodboards inspired by TV shows (although some have since gotten movies which I also took inspiration from... yadda):

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Childhood memory galore. I spent many weekends watching The A-Team with the whole family. When the movie came out, I was happy about the feels it gave me (and the “you spin my head right round” scene still cracks me up more often than it should). Either way. I found it absolutely necessary for Jaime to be Face, for Tyrion to be Hannibal, for Bronn to be B.A. and cuss at everyone and everything and Brienne giving us the strangest genderbend of a Howling Mad Murdock. It added some angst, which I always need because I am a thirsty hoe for it. In case no one noticed yet. Ha.

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This one is very remotely inspired by The Bletchley Circle and the Imitation Game (because both feature encryption and one features Charles Dance already, yo.) I just really dug the idea of Brienne being so good at this because she is such a straight thinker but being underestimated because “she a woman.” And of course her not being done just encoding messages but getting into action, very much to the dismay of the stupid soldier wanting to defend the bae from harm. What could possibly go wrong? Right. A lot.

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Then. Elementary. Let me count the ways in which I love that show... ALL THE WAYS. And I really dig it as a JB AU. I have so many thoughts and feelings, I can’t even begin to tell you. I especially had my fun basically making Jaime Sherlock without making him really Sherlock because that guy was the one who taught him how to be an investigator before disappearing and fucking up his life for bad. And Brienne as the army doctor turned sober companion turned private investigator turned love interest is just too delicious to ignore.

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Pants down I mean hands down, this may be the actual favorite (currently) amongst them all for the plain reason that I also grew up watching that series and still watch it and keep obsessing about it. Ever since Discovery launched and has since given me both joy and grief, I found myself intrigued by the premise of a JB Star Trek AU where Brienne would be standing *with* the Klingons during the war around the time Discovery takes place, and Captain Jaime Lannister having lost far too much to this war already to truly trust anyone, even less so a woman who ran to the Klingons, for what it seems.

You would not believe how many ideas I have for a fic based on it. You wouldn’t believe that I basically have a sequel to that fic already in mind. And you would definitely believe, knowing me, that I am nowhere near writing that fic. But a fangirl can dream and moodboard, right? The moodboard was such a fun way of going about it, not only for the edits but because I could sneak some secret Klingon messages in there. :)

Now, on to the last part, which are the moodboards not inspired by movies or TV shows primarily but really just spewed out of my wacky, wacky brain:

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This has a special place in my heart because it combines military and the traumas it comes with for JB and.... the aesthetic of farming. And both finding a kind of peace they didn’t know they were looking for as they struggle to adjust and find their way back “to normal” after the horrors they have both seen in war. And did I mention the aesthetic? And Jaime in plaid? All dirty and sweaty? Do I have to say more?

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Why this one? Because it combines angst and romance and falling in love twice because DESTINY. And paintings. I love me my artist AUs. So that was my go at it, combining it with the “mystery” to be uncovered about what history Jaime and Brienne actually share as he tries to put his memories back together.  Also. This moodboard gave me opportunity to try out new filters and create JB paintings. :)

Link

This one’s gotta be on the list since I also added the Horse Whisperer. Now it’s Dog Whisperer Jaime and Brienne who won’t give up on her dog who’s seen some shit in the warzone (as did she, but Brienne will put it all aside for her doggish best buddy, of course). While it’s not a very popular moodboard of mine, I really enjoy the premise of it and how the dynamics can so easily change between the two of them if you see it in comparison to the Horse Whisperer AU. Also. I just really think Jaime is a total pet person.

Link

Another lesser known moodboard, I’d assume, but I really dug the premise of it (still do), and it was intriguing to do some edits to make Jaime’s hand *truly* golden lol. With people having developed strange mutations which aren’t nearly as much fun as they are in Fantastic Four AUs. What I liked about it was the idea that Brienne would have a kind of mutation/ability that links to the mind, since she is such a physically strong fighter that she may rather rely on that than on her own mind, fearing that she cannot control that with discipline the same way she can train her body with it. What unites the two is their strong wish to protect the people in their care, in a world on the verge of collapse forcing two unexpected allies together (okay, I totally expected it, but they didn’t). Either way. Much love for this one. :)

Link

Aaaand the last one (not of all the ones I made but the ones I picked for Gwenspiration). I really, really, really adore this one because I was so happy with how the aesthetic turned out and how the colors all match. And I dig the premise. Like holy moly do I dig it deep. Jaime and Brienne both serving in military, but on different fronts, and almost accidentally ending up writing each other letters? I mean... the PINING. And Brienne having to decipher Jaime’s chickenscratch. Yeah no, but for real. I just love the idea so much. That they are both committed to the cause while also yearning for a home, for peaceful times, for sweet, sweet love. And them meeting up and acting like stupid teenagers, only for drama to keep hitting because. It’s eh me angsty Wacky.

Either way. I dig the premises of a lot of my moodboards (in fact... basically all of them or else I wouldn’t be making them, I guess). I spared you listing all of them, though I listed a whole damn lot already. Moodboards are an awesome means for me personally to visualize and (re-)imagine. And since quite a few people seem to continue to be onboard with them, I am all the happier to keep making them.

That’s all for today.

Much love! ♥♥♥

*flies away*

[hoidn]

tagged by @oykamu but i originally nabbed it from @sarking.

all these answers come with the caveat that there are certainly exceptions to most of them and i may have even written those exceptions. if anyone wants to play along, do eet.

→ Slow burn or love at first sight?: however, there's slow burn and then there's dragging it out pointlessly. i say no to the latter.

→ Fake dating or secretly dating: fake dating with elements of mutual pining, yes.

→ “Oh no, there’s only one bed” or and long distance correspondence: these are not mutually exclusive and therefore i choose both. there are precious few believable ways that "there's only one bed" would happen in Georgian/Regency/Victorian times, so there go several of my fandoms, which hardly seems fair.

→ Hurt/comfort or amnesia: with the caveat that i prefer emotional hurt/comfort or hurt that's mostly comfort. also, i'm borrowing @sarking's assertion that amnesia is a sub-genre of h/c because therefore i get both and good god almighty do i love amnesia fic.

→ Enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers: they can be enemies to friends to lovers, but i'm not particularly interested in reading about people who don't (eventually) love each other in some fashion. (although i’ve written it.)

→ Mutual pining or and domestic bliss: pining that leads to domestic bliss, yes, because these aren’t mutually exclusive, either. i usually like my pining to be oblivious, or at least uncertain, for actual believable reasons rather than just flimsy plot devices. i love a character’s transition from yearning for someone they think they'll never be with, and then the tremulous joy in finding their feelings reciprocated. look, i imprinted on anne shirley/gilbert blythe at a very young age. blame l.m. montgomery.

→ Smut or and fluff: again, not mutually exclusive. i like both, separately and together.

→ Fantasy au or modern au: i'm not into magical creatures, per se (though i like greek mythology type stuff). having said that, i do like magic as a normal in-universe aspect and for some reason i am a sucker for harry potter fusions, despite having zero interest in the novels themselves. i also love daemon AUs? however, as far as wider fandom is concerned, fantasy seems to mostly mean 'creatures' and i prefer my characters to remain human. (although there's one mmfr fic i really like in which furiosa stumbles into a magical curse and spends most of the fic as a cat, so there's another exception.)

→ Alternative universe or future fic: AU because technically future fic can be considered AU and therefore i can have my cake and eat it.

→ Kid fic or road trip fic: no kid fic. unless the kid is canon, which is rare, but still, i don't want it to be the focus of the fic. (having said that, one of my WIPs features an original child character and i just don't even know who i am anymore.)

→ Canon compliant/missing scenes or fix-it: this is so haaaaaaaaaard because i adore interstitial fic. but, ultimately, i want my characters to be happy (or at least happier than they are in canon) and that usually requires fixing.

→ Reincarnation or character death: NOBODY DIES. or if they do it’s temporary and they are always meant to be together in every universe la la la i can’t hear you and your earth logic.

→ Time travel or isolated together: i'm not super into time travel unless it's a 'go back in time to fix things' type of thing. and characters being isolated together is just delicious.

→ High school romance or middle aged romance: HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE??? i love high school AUs. but there’s a lot more scope in middle-aged romance.

→ Arranged marriage or accidental marriage: accidental marriage scenarios tend to be predicated either on people being so drunk they're incompetent, or being part of something when they’re unaware of its meaning/significance. and since no one can be reasonably expected to fulfil a contract that they don’t know enough about to enter into in the first place, the whole premise is basically invalid. arranged marriage stories offer so many more options because it’s a circumstance from which the characters can’t be extricated (or at least not easily). it’s the legally binding equivalent of ‘isolated together’, except that instead of a location it’s a social institution.

→ Sci-fi AU or magic au: see, i don't know why you can't have both. you can have magic in sci-fi. and SPAAAAAAACE. i love all my space fandoms and i want all my fandoms in space. 

→ Neighbours or roommates: i... don't care? in fact, i don't think i've ever actually read a fic in which either of these circumstances occurred.

→ Body swap or gender-bend: i really don't like body swap so i have to go with gender-bend, though honestly i'm usually too much of a canon purist to like gender bending either. i can only think of two exceptions, both P&P.

→ Angst or crack: seconding @sarking's answer: "I’m generally only into crack if it’s taken seriously." ditto. and i enjoy angst as long as it's not the unrelenting sort. i need at least a hint of light on the horizon.

→ Apocalyptic or mundane: augh, i love apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic stories so much, but i have to go with mundane because, again, there's a lot more scope.

[eirian-houpe]

FANFIC TROPES

I was tagged by @emospritelet <3 <3

I would like to thank her for including me in this little exercise, it's made me think about a lot of things, so... as per usual, I'm bending the rules.  Oh, I'll  (try and) choose one over the other of the options, but I'll also give a brief explanation below (not required by the original game).  Also, I may add some of these tropes to my 'prompt' list, because there's some I've not ever tried.

So here goes:

slowburn or love at first sight

There's a lot to be said for slow burn, but why does it have to be mutually exclusive? I love a good story where there is that hint of love at first sight but for whatever reason it's never acted upon for the /longest/ time. There's nothing like UST if you ask me and I recently read somewhere that 'There can be no Lust without UST.'

fake dating or secret dating

These are two tropes that I've not actually tried to write, and I don't really think I've read too much of, though Gold's propensity for keeping his personal life to himself in most fics pushes me toward the 'secret dating' side of things, as does the teacher/student kind of story... which now I come to think of it I /am/ writing in All Our Past Mistakes, so... there you are.  Secret for me.

enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers

Actually here's one from which I can't make a choice. I can't see the potential in both but for me it seems they would both be very different. Coming close with the 'We Three' series, but I wouldn't actually say that Belle and Rush are enemies per se, rather just very antagonistic toward one another.

oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence

Okay, though I've not tried writing either of these, (I've lived one of them, and it's hard and soul destroying). I would love to see how other fic writers handle the 'one bed' conundrum. - might try it at some point myself. :)

hurt/comfort or amnesia

Without a doubt my favorite is hurt/comfort. I'm an angsty kind of writer.  Of course there can be angst in amnesia too, just... not my thing I guess.

fantasy au or modern au

If you're going AU, for me it has to be a 'modern' AU, and I put that in quotes because for me 'modern' includes historical as well, so maybe 'realistic' instead of fantasy. Of course I've not tried the fantasy AU, and the one I've /read/ that comes to mind, I enjoyed, so... anyway, as far as writing goes, then modern.

mutual pining or domestic bliss

Pining for me. There's a lot to be said for domestic bliss, but I have trouble writing fluff... though I do enjoy reading it.

smut or fluff

Love me some smut or a hint of mature, but here's the thing, why can't fluff be smutty too?

canon-compliant or fix-it

Again, can't really choose.  See, I did a huge fix-it AU series (never did finish it but I still have the plans...) in my Stargate Virtual Season 5, but even in fix-its, I don't like to completely 'throw the baby out with the bathwater' as it were.  I like fixits that are as canon-compliant, or include many elements of canon-compliance.

reincarnation or character death

See this is another where I can't really choose, and for me they're not really mutually exclusive, since one has to occur before the other could happen. I've written reincarnation stories - not fics though - and I'm planning a character death (if I've got the balls to go through with it, because it's hard. I did it once, and OMG it hurt.) so... we'll have to see.  If I had to make a choice, for the sake of angst, I'd say character death.

one-shot or multi chapter

I would love to be better at one shots, but... my brain doesn't seem to work that way, so - multi chapter, and/or series for me.

kid fic or road trip fic

Um...I haven't ever written either, but I'm enjoying reading a series of fics that have elements of both kid fic and road trip fic in them. (Growing Up - @peacehopeandrats)

arranged marriage or accidental marriage

I haven't written either, and though I know there are a few arranged marriage fics out there, I haven't read any of them. (Unless you count the arranged marriage that never quite happens Gaston/Belle fics). Not sure how one could have an accidental marriage (unless by that its means the kind of 'shot-gun' wedding kinda thing). The idea of both almost appeal.

high school romance or middle aged romance

More mature romances are my style - and I'm not speaking of content necessarily.

time travel or isolated together

There's so much research in time travel, I'd never get anything written... and there's always that butterfly effect kinda thing going on there. Stuck together for some reason, and come on, we're living a pandemic people, great scope for fics (right Sprite?). Maybe time to delve into that a little bit.

neighbors or roommates

Um... I guess neighbors works. I mean roommates works too but with the genre I'm mostly writing, and my preference for 'middle aged' then roommates doesn't exactly work well.

sci-fi au or magic au

Well, I can't really choose here, I really can't.  That's like asking me to choose between Rumbelle and Rushbelle, so just... no.

body swap or genderbend

Neither really appeals here, I think I'd be uncomfortable writing either, and I don't think I've read either either, so I can't really make an informed choice. Recommendations, anyone? (I mean, aside from enjoying Quantum Leap when I watched it - does that count?)

angst or crack

Without a doubt, angst! I'm not that much into comedy at the best of times, I really have to be in the mood, but crack that takes that to the n'th degree is really not my thing.

apocalyptic or mundane

For reasons I can't really go into, this is a tough one. LOL - Seriously though, I think I would go for the mundane as a matter of course, because the mundane is often so full of angst and story potential, you don't always need to base your fic on something that could bring about the next Apocalypse!

("You, lighten up. You, big trouble. You, get in the car...." - brownie points for identifying the quote.)

So that's me, and I will tag (and if you've already been tagged forgive me.) @jackabelle73 @peacehopeandrats and @xiolaperry

[seolhe]

I was wondering,,, why do you say the dark wife is one of the worst books you've read? I read it a few years ago, and I dont remember anything about it tbh, so I'm curious

Oh boy, where do I start? I had a lot of problems with this novel, both as a Greek myth retelling and from a writing standpoint. Now, keep in mind that I read thisabout 2 years ago, so I might be forgetting some small details here and there, but I’ll try to explain the main reasons it bugged me so much. So buckle up, because this is gonna be a long one.

Characters: All the characters are two-dimensional and poorly developed. None of them have any amount of nuance or depth.Zeus is moustache twirling villain who is evil for the sake of being evil. Hades is as good as Zeus is evil, endlessly noble and selfless and devoted. I genuinely can’t remember a single defining trait of Persephone? She’s such abland and generic protagonist, nothing really stands out about her in my memory other than her obsessive pining over Hades and hatred of Zeus. A lot of this feels like it’s pulled straight from the shallow and occasionally downright inaccurate readings of Greek myths that have become so popular in recent years, especially on places like tumblr (Zeus as an evil rapist, Hades as a pure cinnamon roll, Persephone descending willingly into the Underworld, etc.).But there are also more confusing takes on these characters, like turning chaste virgin goddess Athena into a self-centered, promiscuous lesbian (not to say that being a lesbian or being promiscuous is bad, it’s just such a strange interpretation of Athena’s character that doesn’t make any sense)And don’t even get me started on poor Charis! Charis, Persephone’s first lover in the book, exists solely to be raped and killed by Zeus. She’s fridged to show us that Zeus is BAD and giving Persephone a reason to hate him. The author’s treatment of this character is lazy and offensive. I’m sure this is something that won’t bother all readers, but as someone with a deep love for the mythology, I found the portrayal of the Greek gods franklyinsulting. Plot:“Three thousand years ago, a god told a lie.”Here we run into a big problem with the narrative. We’re told from the very prologue that the story of Hades and Persephone we’re familiar with is a lie, a narrative created by Zeus, and this is Persephone’s attempt to set the record straight.These are the first lines of our story: “I am not my mother’s daughter. I have forfeited my inheritance, my birthright. I do not possess the privilege of truth. The stories told by fires, the myth of my kidnap and my rape, are all that remain of me. Forever I will be known as the girl who was stolen away to be the wife of Hades, lord of all the dead. Andnone of it is true, or is so fragmented that the truth is nothing more than ashadow, malformed. The stories are wrong. I am not who they say I am.I am Persephone, and my story must begin with the truth.Here it is, or as close as I can tell it.”Well, this doesn’t really make any sense when, at the end of the story, Zeus is defeated and thrown into Tartarus. Why does this narrative survive into modern day when Hades and Persephone won? Why is Persephone only able to tell her story now, after thousands of years without Zeus in power? Speaking of Zeus and lies, the justification for the whole “What, Hades is awoman?!” thing really doesn’t make any sense. We’re told that Zeus calls Hades “lord” of the dead as a joke, Hades even refers to it as a “slur” in the story. The reason given for this is that Hades is only attracted to women. Well, if that’s the case, why doesn’t that same logic apply to Athena, who’salso shown to be attracted only to women? Or to Persephone for that matter? Same-sex attraction, even between women, is never shown to be frowned upon in their society, so why would Zeus single out Hades for her attraction to women? And why do all the other gods apparently go along with that “joke” to the point that Persephone literally didn’t know Hades was a woman until she meets her in person? And why, again, did this idea of Hades being a man survive into modern day? The story is constructed so poorly on so many different levels. There are so many threads that are just dropped entirely. For example:- The story starts with Demeter confidently proclaiming that Persephone will become the queen of the gods, setting up this big rivalry between her and the daughters of Hera and Aphrodite. This plot never goes anywhere, in fact, I don’t think it’s ever brought up again after the first chapter, and Demeter basically spends the rest of the book cowering before Zeus. - There’s a significant plotline about Pallas having Persephone try to deliver a message to Athena, a plotline that is unceremoniously dropped without anyresolution. After all the build-up, there’s a throwaway line about Pallas giving the note to Persephone right before the big showdown with Zeus, and that’s the last we hear of it. We never see it delivered, we don’t get to see Athena’s reaction to it, we don’t know how this impacts Pallas, if at all. In fact, Pallas basically doesn’t show up at all after this point. Then there’s the main conflict of the story: Zeus wants Persephone, and as we’re told over and over and over, Zeus always gets what he wants (the author really beats this into our heads). We’re never really given any motivation for any of Zeus’ actions, so this conflict feels weak and contrived. It doesn’t help that we get so much build-up for what a terrible threat he is, and then Persephone defeats Zeus, the most powerful god, feared by all, in like… two pages? It’s such a weak and anticlimactic end to the story.

There was also some sort of convoluted plan concocted by Zeus to, idk, have the dead rise up and overthrow Hades? For some reason? Again, we never get any clear motivation from Zeus. As far as I can remember, we’re never told why he hates Hades so much, or why he wants to overthrow her. I don’t even remember if the author explained what Zeus was going to do with the Underworld without Hades there to rule. I’m sorry, I genuinely can’t even remember the details, but it was just reallybadly set up and, once again, easily solved in a few pages.And that’s really the main problem with the story, everything is so easily solved. Our good guys all get happily ever afters with no sacrifices and no consequences for anything, and there’s always a quick and easy solution to any threat or conflict. Mythology:So how does it hold up as a Hades and Persephone retelling?Well, not great, imho. A lot of classical elements are incorporated into this retelling, but they’re stripped of any meaning or importance to the plot. The pomegranate? It’s there at their wedding, but it never figures into the greater narrative.Demeter causing famine by bringing infertility to the fields? She does freeze the world in this story, threatening everlasting winter, but unlike in the Homeric Hymn to Demeter, it’s not an act of agency on her part, refusing to submit to the will of Zeus and fighting to be reunited with her daughter. Nah. She’s just being manipulated by Zeus and it’s used as a cheap reason to tear our lovers apart.And somehow, I don’t even know why seeing as it doesn’t tie into Demeter freezing the earth or Persephone eating the seeds of the pomegranate, butPersephone is still forced to spend half the year on earth and half in theUnderworld.In the epilogue, we see her in modern day New York*, acting as psychopomp (for some reason???), happily guiding the souls to the afterlife, which we’re told is her duty for the half of the year she spends above ground. I’m just so confused as to what the author was even going for here. Where did this come from? It doesn’t originate in the original myths, but it’s also not explained (as far as I can remember) in the book.*This isn’t a problem with the book per se, and it’s 100% a matter oftaste, but I personally really dislike it when mythological figures appearin a modern setting, especially when the author has to put them in anAmerican setting rather than the geographical location of their origin, whetherthat’s Greece or Egypt or Scandinavia or what have you. Romance: Hades and Persephone are destined soulmates and instantly fall in love pretty much the moment they first set eyes on each other, which doesn’t allow for any growth or progression of their relationship. They’re instantly deeply and madly in love with each other and their feelings never change over the span of the story. They spend most of their time together staring lovingly into each others eyes and when they’re separated for literally 3 days Persephone basically spends her entire days languishing in despair.It’s ridiculously melodramatic and cheesy, which again, personal taste thing,I’m just really not into. Other writing issues: - The worldbuilding is pretty much non-existent. The story doesn’t feel grounded in any particular time period or cultural context, and you never get any sense of the setting, or how the world works and what this society is like.  - The pacing was really poor, either dragging or exploding into rushed action. - A lot of page time is spent on describing things that doesn’t really further the plot or has any thematic relevance. One example would be the garden of metal and precious stones Hades made for Persephone. It’s cool I guess? But what purpose does it serve? We also waste a lot of time which could be better used developing the characters or moving the plot forward on watching Persephone play with puppy Cerberus or petting Hades’ horses (see poor pacing). - There’s a lot of talk about Persephone having some sort of grand destiny, and that her actions have been prophesized. This is never properly explained and it only serves to weaken Persephone’s story arc, stripping her of agency by implying that she doesn’t really have a choice in the matter. Prophecy and destiny are story elements that have to be handled delicately and are easy to screw up, and they’re just dealt with so clumsily here.  - Also the writing was just… not very good.I’m sure there are more things I could dig up and complain about, but I feel like this is probably too long and rambly already, so I’ll stop here.

Obligatory disclaimer:This is obviously just my personal opinion. There are a lot of people who love this book (going by Goodreads ratings, I am clearly in the minority) and I am genuinely happy for them! I also mean no disrespect to the author who seems like a genuinely lovely person.