#it's ok to grieve character potential

[dead-salmon]

thinking ob lb2 again and i'm still so sad that it was messed up so badly when the initial themes were really great

like skadis & odin's (which skadis 2nd interlude elaborates on) selfish love, wanting the world and beings they love to continue living even if it's a cruel existence for them. the way you can compare it to surtrs selfish feelings he has for ophelia, or the love sigurd and brynhild have for one another

skadi & ortlinde being unable to understand their loved ones decisions until it's practically too late. the inability of ophelia, skadi and ortlinde to actually take action until it's much too late. napoleon serving as a symbol of hope in that regard, the rainbow finally spurring ophelia into action.

the from lostbalt manga scene of ophelia admitting that she truly had different wishes in life than where she ended up, apologising for not doing better. skadi grieving over this, over ophelia, as a mother who is in the exact same spot of being unable to leave the duty that was placed on her.

lb2 had potential man, skadi's character has so much potential. it just pisses me off that both the game and fandom reduce her to moe scathach when there's so much that could've been done with her character

[arolesbianism]

Let it not be forgotten how much I love Abby. She is the character of all time. 2 me. It's me and my needlessly in depth Abby hcs against the world

[the-derpy-duck]

Ok so I haven’t finished the season 2 episodes yet but so far I think it’s been less good than season one but I don’t dislike it. I think, so far, it’s been good. Season 1 was really good and I think a lot of people built up expectations for season 2 and when people have really high expectations the end result tends to disappoint people regardless of its actual quality. Because the potential of where the story could go wasn’t really divisive and as long as that story is unfinished people can take that potential and run in whatever direction they’d like to. The decepticons potentially being not pure evil made people, myself included, interested. It presented an idea and people got attached to that idea and built up a lot of expectations for it. Specifically with Starscream because a most TF media tends to gloss over or oversimplify his morals and relationship to Megatron and the world around him. Armada is the main exception I can think of outside of like IDW, but generally the shows present the relationship between Starscream and Megatron as highly questionable to outright abusive without any other commentary on it and no one really giving a shit. Which could be intentional and helping to characterize the decepticons as a group that doesn’t care about its members because everyone ultimately either wants power or to not die, but I honestly don’t think a lot of the writers were thinking about that. Cyberverse COULD have been intentionally ignoring all of the death (which there is a LOT of) to show how Cybertronian society has decayed and made war and death and suffering so common that no one really stops to grieve. But it also could have been a kids show that had 11 minute episodes and was taking on topics that it was not ready or able to properly address. Same for TFA and TFP (and rescue bots, as much as I hate to admit that). I like these shows and I like to believe my own reading of it, but I do not believe that this was at all the intention of the shows writers.

The author is dead and I killed them, but it was really cool to have a TF show that actually seemed to be diving into the repercussions of Cybertronian society and specifically the consequences of Megatron’s actions on the people around him. And for those consequences to hold weight and be taken seriously, not brushed off because the characters affected by him were also villains. And that’s part of why I think people are disappointed by season 2 so far. Because it seems that all the potential was just waisted. The time skip caused us to miss out on a really ingesting idea, it would have been really cool to see the decepticons go from siding with the heros to being against them. Starscream’s entire thing is betrayal and we skipped over a major betrayal???

And my commentary is very starscream heavy because a lot of what people liked was centered around him. After Megatron he’s probably the most complicated character, especially morally speaking. We haven’t gotten the entirety of season 2 yet. I think this might only be 1/3rd of it. So I don’t want to make a big statement like ‘earthspark is ruined! The show sucks now!’ because I don’t think that’s true at all. I wish a few things were done differently, but I want to see this story completed and I want to see what story they are trying to tell. I don’t think a story being incomplete negates it of criticism (*cough*tfa*cough*) but I think it’s not fully fair to make a final judgement on an incomplete product, especially if it is still being made. Season one of earthspark was some of the best storytelling trasnformers has done imo, but it is not the completed show.

TL;DR: Season two is alright, it’s also not done being released yet and I want to wait until it’s completed to make a final judgement. Oh and also bumblebee is here

[stxrrynxghts]

Abhimanyu: why do we love him so much?

OK, perhaps not everyone loves him a lot as we do. I have seen people comment how Lakshman Kumar defeated him, how Abhimanyu died in a fair fight, how he was powerful because of a boon, how he was part of group attacks, how he is nothing special and is just highlighted because he is Janmeyjaya's grandfather etc.

Abhimanyu's life is very great and very tragic. When he was born, the Yadava-Pandava relation was flourishing. His mother Subhadra wasn't just the dear of her Yadava family, but her co-wife and the Empress, Draupadi, adored her extremely as well. Abhimanyu became his father and uncles' favorite since birth.

He was raised in Dwarka, where Subhadra was respected and cherished, and so was he. Balaram, Krishna and Pradyumna themselves educated him. Abhimanyu seems like someone who works very hard, and strives to be better at each moment, the type of student who ever teacher likes.

Then, later, he was the first of his brothers (except Ghatotkacha) to marry. Abhimanyu already had the Yadavas backing him up, and then, he becomes the son-in-law of the kingdom who is about to aid them in the War.

Abhimanyu is described as having a moon-like face, and broad shoulders. He was very handsome, over all, and must have been seen as charming.

Abhimanyu's marriage to Uttara is an extremely grand wedding, if you see the details about the wedding gifts given and received from both sides, and the number of guests that arrived. Almost ALL the important people of Aryavart had attended that wedding.

Abhimanyu's relationship with his wife is not detailed, but she grieved for him a lot, and the Stree Parva shows Gandhari explicitly mentioning their love life in....more than one aspect. It seems that he was a genuinely loving husband, who cared for his wife's happiness and needs, and in return, his wife too, loved and cherished him a lot, albeit returning his affection a bit shyly.

The crux of Abhimanyu's character is the tragedy that is in him, growing up without his father, a love story left incomplete due to him dying a premature death, his child growing up fatherless, and such potential being wasted away.

Abhimanyu is also fiercely talented. He was the 2nd highest ranking warrior in the Pandava army, and he defeated all of the major Kaurava warriors (except Bhishma) in one-to-one combat. Group attacks were common in the War, but Abhimanyu's case is different.

Abhimanyu enters the chakravyuha formation alone. The rest of the army is held at gate 1. He fights, not only against the numerous Kaurava warriors, but their common soldiers too, at the same time, for 12 hours continuously.

He defeats them, and then continues to fight back despite being attacked in groups. He loses his weapons, and fights with literally anything that he can, and is heavily injured. He is stabbed from behind by warriors far more experienced by him.

Abhimanyu's last duel is with Dushasana's son Durmasena, where the two of them faint after simultaneously knocking each other out from their mace fight. Durmasena is the one to wake up first as he is less injured. He bashes Abhimanyu's skull while he is just getting consciousness, killing him. This, is what certain people love to call, a "fair" fight.

Abhimanyu's death has severe consequences. The text provides detailed descriptions of his parents and wife's mourning. Arjun is devastated, and blames Jayadratha for this whole incident. (I wonder how and why he still respected Drona, Ashwatthama, Kripa etc after this incident?)

Arjun kills 7 battalions of the Kaurava army on his own the next day. (Abhimanyu had killed 1 battalion on his own the previous day.)

The war ends, and Abhimanyu's blood rules the throne. Abhimanyu is a person who strives to be better despite numerous personal tragedies marring his life. He is perhaps one of the only such detailed characters from the Mahabharata who is faultless, and yet gets the cruelest fate of them all.

Abhimanyu is someone who would have been one of the heir apparent candidates if he had survived. He is someone who had loved and cherished his relationships a lot. Abhimanyu is someone who should be loved and remembered for who he was, and what he did.

[shakingparadigm]

DUDE ok i was a casual fan of alien stage before round six but now im like quaking in my boots, i wasn’t even thinking about a potential saving grace bc of hyuna. and like when i watched it i was so “100% ivan’s dead there’s no world where vivinos would keep him alive” and now im staying on that train bc it’s true and also i don’t want to be mourning for no reason lol

anyway it’s certain mizi and till will meet, probably when she saves his depressed ass like he keeps dreaming about, but what i think is gonna happen is that he’s gonna realize that the mizi he’s been yearning for isn’t the mizi that actually exists.

obviously it’s been hinted at bc her physical appearance has changed from the glasses wearing long haired angel till sees in round 6 after (or in the middle of, bc he wasn’t wearing the collar mute thing) getting assaulted, but also i don’t think mizi could ever consider till as more than a friend?

like idk mizi falling for really anyone else leaves a bad taste in my mouth, esp for someone who loves an idealized version of her, and i also very selfishly want my toxic yaoi to be requited even in death so till realizing he lost his real chance at partnership

my heart says till mourns a missed chance and never moves on, ivan deserves it >:(, my brain says maybe in the end mizi and till will become besties and grieve together in a new human world

or or maybe vivinos kills everyone off and like fades out into a future round of alien stage bc it’s a never ending cycle or whatever

sorry for length my brain worms have been brain worming

You know what I vibe with this. Ever since Mizi cut her hair I've been thinking about what it meant for her character (wrote a whole post about it) and how she's changed from the person the rest of the cast saw her as initially. I also don't think Mizi would see Till as anything more than a dear friend. She loves and cares for him, of course, just not in that way, and she'd be kind of disconcerted if she found out how he viewed her. It's implied that Till was always too shy to actually get close to Mizi, so it's likely that he doesn't know what she's actually like. He most likely takes her kind actions at face value and uses these bits of her to build an image in his head. An image of a perfect, flawless angel who's kindness knows no bounds. A purely gentle soul. But Mizi is not like that in actuality, of course. Nobody is. She's incredibly flawed, naive, prone to drowning in her emotion and lashes out when provoked. She's always been a lot stronger than she looks, too. I really want them to be friends, though. They deserve support and solidarity together with Hyuna once they reach an understanding. Hopefully they make it out alive!! (they so totally will not)

The series ending with everyone dead and the next season of Alien Stage beginning would be absolutely diabolical 😭 I could see that kind of thing happening since it's VIVINOS after all

[o-hora-o]

your rambles are music to my ears... sadly it can't be considered canon i think but the evangelion event fueled my ae addition, and i recall a scene where ein wanted to sacrifice the children and tesla was like 'wtf is wrong with you, you changed lieserl' and ein was just like 'yeah, people change.' though she seemed fond of mei that she knew as a baby; knowing in canon that her father ryoma worked for ae and that she knew kiana extremely young as well i can't believe they wasted the potential of lieserl getting attached to the trio more than 'let's sacrifice them it is life' perhaps my perception is biased but back in the vn lieserl used to be the youngest, and seemed to be the most philanthropist among the group (excluding welt) implicitly at least. she was always trying to reasure him and let him live his life, barely minded tesla's antics, questioning edison's mindset bc it was harmful to mankind, they even decided that ae would use auto pilot mechas and not women as valkyries. tesla was far from misanthropist but she seemed more like 'life is life ?' now the tables are somewhat reversed, ein became a cold vessel with clearly morally questionable choices and tesla is the one grieving all their loss explicitly, esp those closes to her like joachim, welt, emma etc (even during a scene when talking to theresa, in present, she wanted to choke otto what all the bloodshed and what ae went through)

"headcanonical ramble" for a reason. Now here's my little events ramble-

Hell yes in the context of the event this was an insanely morally difficult conversation they had. And not just in this event but in general I think they have this interesting tendency of calling each other by their first names when they have some serious or intimate moments and they want to talk not with the mask but with the soul? (or when they tease each other, of course)

Can we also appreciate this scene? A masterpiece!

I'm sorry but can I also mention the Rosemary's event? I can't help but love that plot twist when it was revealed that Joyce didn't actually die and his soul was in Joffrey's body all along and Tesla and Ein were so bad at mourning him that Ein's poor acting skills gave themselves away? 😂

Idk I love all those events in which AE take part for they can be both dramatic and tragic as the eva and rosemary ones or they can be totally chaotic and ridiculous as Gemina Invasions (we've never seen the continuation of it have we? Like Tesla is forever stuck somewhere across Bubble Universes with Bronya on the bike trying to catch Rosa and Liliya and Ein is forever enslaved by the Jinn for the sake of instant noodles debt lmao) or this Odd Drifter einsla moment still lives rent free in my brain:

Once Upon a Time in Shenzhou was also freaking awesome. Especially the part when they had a breakdown and came to two options which are either blow up the whole place or

Ok sorry back to the topic

"now the tables are somewhat reversed, ein became a cold vessel with clearly morally questionable choices and tesla is the one grieving all their loss explicitly". Yeah, agree, nicely phrased. And this drastic psychological change is what I love about them but I can't help but wonder will this ever lead them to some sort of a conflict, especially with Joachim gone. Because Tesla often complains about Ein's "morally questionable choices" but it seems like she can't fully understand Ein's behaviour or do something with it. Maybe at this point It can't be fix. So I hope that the writers won't forget about them as a deeply written characters and they'll have the third and probably the final wave of development.

[misrepresentedmorallygrey]

PROPAGANDA

Yukio Okumura (LONG PROPAGANDA)

(Does contain spoilers and suicide mentions) Ok so the main issue I see people having with him is because he has threatened his brother and has shot him before. (His brother, Rin, is also the fan favorite so you can probably imagine people's feelings towards those scenes.) A lot of times Yukio also comes off as mean because he's a pretty closed off person and people don't like that either.

Although what people love to ignore is the reasons as to *why* he acts this way. (Granted, harming your brother is not an ok thing to do and it doesn't excuse that but it explains why he did what he did.) For starters, Rin was the one who inherited Satan's demonic power, not Yukio, meaning that Rin could potentially become dangerous even though his powers were locked away until he was about 15. Because of this, the boys' adoptive father, Shiro, put the responsibility of protecting Rin onto Yukio from the age of 7. So while Yukio was training to become an exorcist at a very young age, Rin got to live without knowing anything about demons or exorcists. This did cause some envy from Yukio, who felt the crushing pressure of having to do everything for his brother while Rin had no idea. Later on, Rin's power awakens at 15 (the present time in the story) and after a series of events, Shiro ends up dying due to becoming possessed by Satan. With their legal guardian dead, Yukio is now the one who has to take care of Rin because if his demonic power gets discovered, Rin will be executed by the Vatican. So yeah. In the span of ONE DAY Yukio now has even more pressure put on him and he didn't even get to say goodbye to Shiro, let alone grieve for him because he had to be the calm and collected one in the situation. (Yukio is also 15 btw!!) Now, both boys are going to enroll in True Cross Academy, a school that also has a secret exorcist program. At this time, Rin has no knowledge that Yukio knows what's going on. It's only until he's at the exorcist cram school that Rin finds out that his teacher is Yukio. This leads to a confrontation between the brothers as Rin feels rightfully betrayed that everyone knew except him. This is also where Yukio reveals some of his concerns, leading to people not liking him. Essentially, Yukio says that Rin could be a danger to others because he can't control his powers yet and that Yukio will kill him if it's necessary (this is also where he threatens his brother with a gun). Eventually the conflict does get resolved and they go back to normal for the most part. So not only does Yukio have to keep his brother from getting into trouble (which he does. several times. Rin does eventually get discovered.) but he also has to be an exorcist AND a teacher. Yukio constantly has to act like an adult throughout the series, and HE'S ONLY 15!! He has so much pressure put on him by everyone and if he makes a mistake, either him or Rin could die. As the series continues, you can see Yukio's mental health rapidly worsening due to his self-hatred leading him to several suicide attempts (which he doesn't die because Satan is now residing in his body). Yukio also feels that Shiro never really cared about him and only kept him to be raised as a weapon. All this and the fact that he's being manipulated by another antagonist character leads him to join sides with the Illuminati (the evil organization). By doing this, he will be able to take down the Illuminati from the inside and hopes that he and Satan will die along with it. The entire time up to this point Rin does not realize just how bad Yukio's mental health has been (which to be fair, Yukio is pretty closed off and has lied to his brother several times). Yukio then tries to force Rin to kill him, and ultimately fails because Rin cares too much. Overall, Yukio had so many responsibilities and felt as though he had to take everything on alone. It's honestly very tiring seeing people villainize everything bad he's ever done while completely ignoring how much he actually cares for his brother + all his mental health issues. This is only a summary of the things he's gone through so there's definitely some other details that show the escalation of his depression that weren't included here. But yeah. Justice for Yukio. He does not deserved to be treated like Satan (pun intended).

Apple White

everyone shut up about her being evil and selfish she is a teenage girl who has been raised HER WHOLE LIFE with this ideology, she can’t unlearn her entire belief system overnight especially when it’s so deeply tied to her identity as a person. also she literally does let go of it eventually, because she’s not a static character, she has an arc. apple is my favorite because she’s complex, not in spite of it. on the flipside there’s the people who act like she didn’t do anything wrong. i’ve seen people call raven the selfish one? this show was made for 5 years olds. how do you have less media comprehension that a 5 year old. and also, you’re loving apple the wrong ways!! she makes mistakes. she fucks up so much, and it’s awesome. i get overcompensating because the haters are so loud or whatever, but saying she’s perfect is erasing what makes her interesting. this propaganda is not very good because I’m guessing a lot of propaganda looks identical (edelgard and vriska have similar issues in fandom spaces) so here is my final pitch. vote for apple because she’s a lesbian (her canon soulmate was a girl). vote for apple because she’s a protagonist in a kids cartoon who was a lesbian way back in jan 2016. vote for apple because mattel let the face of their new franchise be a girl who likes girls (still feels surreal) #gayrights #applesweep

[aboutnavi]

I was brushing my teeth, reflecting about life, & my mind went back to AFTG and there is a scene on the first book that it has been stuck on my brain since I read the trilogy again this January and it's about Seth. Now, I know the fandom -in general- barely talk about Seth because Nora decided to kill him off for shock value and when people try to talk about him, it always comes back to 'he was a homophobic, disgusting piece of shit' which yes, valid but also, are we forgetting Aaron? The babyfication of Aaron in this fandom had everyone collectively forgetting he was exactly like Seth (even worse: towards his family!!!). Two wrongs doesn't make one right & I'm in no way justifying Seth's action but if we never talk about characters on AFTG just because they were problematic, we are not talking about any of them, ever (ok maybe some of them, but still).

My point is: the scene. Neil is confused as to why Seth hates Kevin -specifically him- so much, since Seth could get along with most people if he wanted and tried hard enough but he refused to give ground to Kevin & his answer is just so humanly heartbreaking it goes to my list of moments Nora did something right in AFTG. The scene goes like this:

Neil: Why do you hate him?

Seth: Because I'm sick of him getting everything he wants just because he's Kevin Day. Do you know what fame gets you, shitface? Everything. All he has to do is ask for it, and someone will give it to him. Doesn't matter what. Doesn't matter who. The world is dying to give him anything he wants. When he broke his hand, his fans cried for him. They flooded our locker room with letters and flowers. The amazing Kevin Day can't play anymore. Their lives were over. They'd grieve the loss forever. But tell me when's the last time anyone cried over you? Never, right? They're there for Kevin every step of the way, but where were they when we needed them?

Neil, stupidly: So you're jealous.

Seth: His life is not more important than mine just because he's more talented.

Neil first instinct is to say jealousy because jealousy is something he understands (he felt jealous of Kevin for having a future, for being able to play, for the talent, for the life he never got to live when his mother ran away, etc.) but for me what Seth is trying to portrait is more like the painful awareness that you get when you realize you're also worthy of love and care. Seth is such an unexplored character who had so much potential if Nora hadn't killed him for the sake of showing how Riko could be/was dangerous (and she could have done that in so many different ways!!!) & you can see that on, for example, Nora's post about his life. Seth was always the no-priority person, the kid no one payed attention to, the boy that if killed, not even his mother would come for the funeral. He was every aspect a Fox and he spent his entire life being told he was no one and to be able to say his life is not more important than mine shows so much development; the chance he had put on himself for being open to love, to care, to second and third chances... it was all there. It breaks my heart that he never got the chance to become something. & I do not believe he was an inherently bad person? They are so young in AFTG, all of them. Maybe Seth wasn't bad; maybe he was just twenty-two, you know?

& on the extra content when they tell Allison he died and she goes 'He called me not even an hour ago! He was drunk and rambling but he was happy for the first time in weeks. He was talking about how he finally thought graduating would be okay, about how he wanted me to help him look into grad schools. He wanted to go into social work and help people like he helps us. I know he wanted to die! Everyone knows he wanted to die! Every time he said he was done with life I walked away from him and every time he came chasing after me. This is the first time--he wanted to live.' breaks my heart.

Because, ok, Seth dies. Let's pretend it was a good idea for him to die to set some sort of impact on the story for a second. Except his death goes without much fuss. The shock Nora wanted is felt for maybe three seconds, in one paragraph in the last page of TFC and then we barely talk about Seth on TRK and TKM. Neil can't even understand how impactful was Seth's death - he only cares about how it will affect the game & his guilt is more about how Allison would feel towards him then sadness over losing a teammate - and this insight we get from Allison is from the extra content and not everyone goes on to read those so if Nora wanted something out of his death - pity, shock, sadness, or whatever - she should have put this scene IN THE BOOKS.

[forcebookish]

What drew you to Burn Notice?

EXCELLENT QUESTION.................... i don't remember hahaha

nah ok iirc i caught it on tv when season 6 was airing and got hooked and i think i watched the whole thing up to that point in, like, a week. i don't remember what particularly caught me, but at the time, i was living with my friend and wasn't in school or working, so i didn't have a lot going on and found it strangely soothing. i still do! it's my go-to comfort show. something about michael's deep, steady voice, especially on the VOs, and all the whump and found family was (and is) really relaxing to me. and i like that they help people who no one else can help and that it's not afraid to be sentimental. you know, it's this perfect blend of comedy, action, tragedy, drama, mystery, and romance.

around the same time, i was also watching flashpoint, which is another series about veterans, snipers, and found family with a lot of whump lol for some reason, i'm really drawn to those kind of characters and stories. bucky is my fave in marvel; widowmaker and ana are my faves in overwatch; i'm one of six people who actually really like riley in btvs lol

maybe because it's people who are expected to be detached, emotionless, or not easily affected by their dire circumstances, but are in fact deeply affected and emotional despite their best efforts are really appealing to me. (ok, re: widowmaker, she is, by design, detached and emotionless, but only because she was brainwashed and even asked to be; plus, that just opens up great potential for emotion breakdowns in fanfiction! :D) (hm, i also apparently like brainwashing plots 🤔)

i also LOVVVVE mom characters, especially overly devoted and protective ones who have complicated or abusive relationships with their kids. maddie is tied with michael for my fave; mags is my fave in justified; cersei is one of my faves in asoiaf. basically, i like mama bears who are at risk of eating their cubs. again, i think it has to do with that dichotomy and contradictory nature. moms are expected to be protective of their kids, yes, but when it's to the detriment of the very kids they do all these shitty things for, that scratches a particular itch to me.

i tend to like characters who not only have layers, but have facets of their personalities that might not jive together or mesh well; they have sides of themselves that they have to fight or reconcile with. they're hard and soft. michael is an army ranger veteran, an ex-spy, a killer; he's also an abuse survivor, a lover, has a soft spot for kids. sam is a navy seal veteran, a forger, a killer; he's also a sugar baby, a booze hound, a goofball. fiona is an ex-IRA guerilla, a bomber, an arms dealer; she's also a lover, a grieving sister, someone with a fierce moral compass. jesse is a badass counter intelligence agent, a killer, a ball of rage; he's also a grieving son, a whiner, kind of a dork. i love their inner-conflicts and how those really do inform the way they interact with one another. i love that they have history and intense fights or issues, but always come back and forgive each other.

i also tend to like stories with major character death? i guess i just like high stakes! it really is the whole package for me! 😂😂

ANYWAY........................................................... thanks for popping in, obviously i love rambling about stuff i like <3333

[blooming-violets]

Hi! This isn't a request but how do you think Peter would react to reader being a Funeral Director? Let's say it's like a blind date (set up by Auntie May ofc). Im asking because a good amount of your fics that you write with Peter revolve around death- weather it being Ben's, Gwen's, and/or what he see's around just being Spider-Man.

Lol this is coming from someone who's about to get their license to become a f.d if you couldn't tell :)

omg over a decade ago i used to roleplay with an oc who was my dark humored, lil goth queen and she was studying to become a funeral director and even though it was so long ago, once an oc, always an oc. she still lives up in my brain with the rest of every other character i've ever created in my life time. i'm going to channel her energy into my soul for this one

Ok, so! I love this.

(using gender neutral "they/them" for this character)

This might sound slightly gruesome but I'm going with it! May is getting a little older in age. Nothing crazy but she's a realist and she wants to be extra prepared when it's her time to go because she doesn't want to burden Peter with such things. She knows what it's like to go through the entire process of burying a dead loved one when you are in the middle of the worst grief of your life. She doesn't want Peter to have to make any of those choices like where to go and what casket to chose. She's a planner and is going to keep nurturing her boy even after death.

Soo she starts doing the rounds of looking into funeral homes, types of caskets, potential flower arrangements, details for the service, how she wants her body to be prepared...she's got it all figured out and in a binder with laminated pages. And she's having the time of her life doing all this because any chance to pull out some stationary is a good day in her book.

Peter freaks when he finds out because that's his girl and he refuses to let her die ever. But she calms him down by reminding him that death can happen to anyone, at any time, and she wants to be prepared for him. All he will have to do is hand over this binder to the director and they can do the heavy lifting so he can just take time to grieve. He's still not happy about it. Aunt May will never die. He doesn't even want to entertain the idea that it's a possibility even twenty years from now.

But then she throws in a lil twist.

"Oh, by the way, Peter...you have a date next Saturday night. I set you up with the director of the parlor. They were just lovely! So accommodating, so funny, absolutely gorgeous, not anything like I was expecting. I told them I had a nephew who was single. Showed them a picture of you. You know that picture I took last summer of you at the beach eating a Ninja Turtle popsicle next to the ice cream truck? I just love that picture...reminds me of when you were a boy...anyway, they agreed to meet up with you! Isn't that wonderful?"

And he's standing there speechless and mortified because only Aunt May would start prematurely planning for her death and then go around showing embarrassing, shirtless pics of him to his potential suitors...who are also helping her plan for her death. He tries to refuse to go but it's May and you can't say no to her. She will always win.

She picks out his best outfit for him and makes sure he's all dolled up (also to be sure he actually goes through with the date and doesn't bail).

He's shocked at how young and attractive they are when he meets them. Even though May insisted they would be a good match, he still was picturing some creepy old, sickly pale, skeletal man wear a dark suit. He's been dating a bit lately but nothing really sticks. This date feels different. He starts off by making a dark joke about dating the person who's going to bury his (still very much alive) aunt. Which gets a laugh from the both of them. They start in on how lovely it was to meet her and how she brightened up the house when she came for a meeting. And Peter talks about how baffled he was to find out she was even doing all that in the first place. He would have gone with her or been more than willing take care of everything. But they insist that May was adamant on doing it on her own. Peter asks a lot of questions on why they would ever want to go into this line of work but they just laugh it off. They're helping people, even after death. Helping their loved ones have the best final goodbye they can have.

The first date flows smoothly. They both try to avoid the death talk after the first few minutes and keep things light and happy. Peter is unknowingly smitten at the time but finds that once he goes home for the night, he can't stop thinking about them.

A second date is soon to follow. And a third. And fourth. And so on until they are officially dating.

I think as they get more comfortable with each other and open up to each other more, Peter will start to reveal how badly of a relationship he has with death. Reader has a healthy outlook on it. They don't mind taking care of the dead. They enjoy being able to provide that kind of service. Nothing really turns their stomach at this point. Peter can't remember much about his parents or their funerals, Uncle Ben's was a blur, and Gwen's is blackened out from his memory. It really upsets him to picture Reader doing any kind of body preparation. He keeps having intrusive thoughts about them working on Gwen's corpse and it kinda fucks him up. (They obviously weren't the one's who did that but his mind is putting the two people he cares about together without reason). Sometimes it makes it hard for him to look at them. It causes tension in the relationship. He starts to resent that they do that job. He think that they are "better than that" and they should leave that sort of job to someone else. He thinks it's gross and upsetting.

Reader would take massive offense to that. They love what they do. It's very important to them. Peter keeps not being able to hear what they're saying and is throwing his own uncomfortable attitude into the mix. They represent death to him and he hates death. Almost like they're a constant reminder of everyone he loved who has died. Cue the climaxy fight part where they separate for a bit in order for the growth to happen. Peter goes off to sulk and eventually ends up on May's doorsteps like a lost, sad puppy.

He'd need to go have a heart to heart talk with her about why he feels so uncomfortable dating someone who is so close to death. She'd talk about his past traumas, losing so many loved ones, and how he never allowed himself to put those people to rest. That's what Reader does. They helps other's put their loved one's to rest. And that frightens Peter because he's afraid of letting go. They represent someone who is at peace with themselves and Peter is living in a constant state of turmoil. In order to love properly again, he has to let go of the past. Reader can become a healthy path forward but only if Peter is able to cut off the baggage that is holding him back.

He'd let that talk sink in for a few days until he finally crawls his way back to their home with a box of their favorite chocolates (not flowers because they've seen enough flowers to last them their entire life time). He's met with nothing but a gentle smile and open arms. He'd open up to better explain himself to them so they can understand where he's coming from and see into his past. It's a healing moment for him to overcome.

Over time he'd warm up more and more to the idea of them working so closely to death. They both like to lighten any dark moods with some terrible jokes and dumb comments. A lot of silly ghost/ haunting talks. A lot him questing them about things. Like if guys can get an erection after death. Or what exactly is embalming fluid (bc he likes science-y things). And trying to find out the craziest things they ever experienced while working. They have endless stories to share so there's never a dull moment.

And when they finally find out about Mr. Parker and his big, giant Spider-Man secret, they threaten Peter that he better never end up on their table or else they'll mutilate his corpse by cutting off his dick and keeping it in a jar. (too dark? lmao not for them!)

Peter loves it. It makes him feel loved.

[piratescage]

OK i never really do tumblr posts but i NEED to vent because tua was one of my favorite series and it just makes me so mad that it ended the way that it did so here i go SPOILERS FOR TUA SEASON 4 YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED (but also if you haven't watched it yet, honestly don't even bother, it's not really worth it)

first of all, i want to say that the ending itself wasn't actually that bad imo. predictable? yes, but i think i would have enjoyed it if i didn't end up disliking most of the stuff that came before it.

the breaking point for me was definitely lila and five storyline. after their kiss, i KNEW nothing could have been done for me to enjoy the rest of the season and even finishing it felt like a chore (i literally started checking the remaining time every 5-10 min). honestly just..... why??? why was this even a thing? to me this just came so out of nowhere and ruined both characters. i loved lila and diego together, i get that to make things ""spicy"" you would want to create some sort of tension between them (a bit cliché if you ask me, but fine) but it really didn't need to go in this direction. she was such a great character too, honestly my second favorite, and this just made me dislike her so much. she just cheated on her husband (with whom she has two kids with btw) with her husband's brother who's also the guy who killed her parents!!!! and for what?? and five as well like.... what???? five was such a comfort character for me and they truly ruined him, just like that. not only he betrayed his own brother, which is so much unlike five, because if there's one thing he cares about in his own weird little way it's his family, but then he also hid the diary that would help them come back home, knowing that lila has A FAMILY to go back to, because he loves her...? the same guy who left dolores (i know she is a mannequin buT FUCK OFF it made him so happy) behind after 45 years in a post-apocalyptic world to become a trained assassin in order to go back to his family??? that's something he would do for sure!!!, i say in a completely, definitely not sarcastic tone :))))) and don't even get me started on how he just fucking leaves after lila says "it's over", holy shit. if i were diego i would also beat the shit out of him, ngl. anyway, i could vent about this pairing for ages so i'm gonna move on but i wanted to talk about this first because, again, it was my breaking point and also i really loved both of these characters, especially five, i loved lila and diego relationship and i can't believe how much they fucked up with all of this, holy shit.

idk if it's because this season was shorter (probably) but i feel like there was so much wasted potential with some of the characters' storylines. luther was one of my favorites this season, which feels so weird to say, because even though i never really hated the guy, he's not really one of those characters i usually gravitate towards. that said, i do think more could have been done with his story arc, especially relating to sloane and his potential grieving because of her absence. seriously, why the fuck was sloane not there? why are we left with no explonation reguarding her?? such a missed opportunity.

allison's storyline also felt like a wasted opportunity. first of all, you are really gonna make me believe that ray just left???? the ray we all know and love, that ray?? and give us no explonation as to why?? that's insane. i literally thought he was dead at first, the thought that he might have left allison never even crossed my mind. i feel like the show could have focused more on how her life isn't perfect despite of what she did and also on her relationship with her family and the possible resentment that they might have felt towards her. this last point in particular they completely glossed over.

klaus' story arc was sooooo boring. i wasn't the biggest fan of sober, germophobic klaus to begin with and the way he shouted at his family after saving his life felt a bit out of character (although a bit deserved, since he's always been overlooked by everyone) but his plot was just, as i've already stated, boring. klaus always has his own thing going on but usually it ties back to the main plot, this time it just doesn't. and it's just this really boring storyline that leads pretty much nowhere.

ben's story is also wasted potential!! the jennifer incident reveal was kinda of meh and i still don't fully understand who the fuck jennifer is and where she came from and why she was in a giant squid in the first place but maybe i'm the dumb one (probably). their relationship escalated way too fast, i know they are connected to each other and can't help it that much but it would have been nice if we took things just a little bit slower.

one thing i've always loved about tua were the "villains" or antagonistic characters, because i've always found them to be weirdly likeable. that, however, did not happen with this season. jean and gene were both quite boring imo, and abigail...... ugh. she could have been so much more. i didn't really like the fact that she was the one trying to get ben and jennifer together to end the world in the first place and i just really do not understand her motivations??? again, i'm probably being dumb here but i feel like so much more could have been done with her character, especially in relation to hargreeves. didn't really like how both characters went out either, it just felt really rushed.

OH ALSO, almost fucking forgot, but am i fucking crazy or last season ended with a shot of ben in a subway or whatever and we never really touched on that this season??? like what the fuck did that mean, i thought for sure there were gonna be two ben?? was that still this ben then, i'm so confused....

anyway, i think i vented out most of my frustrations. didn't expect a rant about one of my favorite shows being my first tumblr post but here we are, i guess. now time to find a way to delete this season out of existence hargreeves' siblings style

(also i know i didn't mention viktor but that's because i quite liked his character this season, probably one of my favorites alongside luther so i have nothing bad to say about him)

[burr-ell]

To your Laudna post from earlier- I started having doubts about this character concept when Marisha said on 4SD that she wanted Laudna to be a character who was legitimately over their trauma. Just because…ok, if that’s the case, where is the character going?? What’s the growth, or the arc? (Which, to bring a bit of my bias into it, is why I think her most interesting interactions are with Ashton, who continues to poke that trauma and insist that she is not, in fact, past it.)

And to your point, if the idea is to have the character be over this trauma and for it to not play a large part in their life, why exhume Delilah for it?? Why dig up an old villain for a part that could easily be played by any random necromancer in Exandria?

It’s just such a bizarre series of choices, especially contrasted with Beau and Keyleth, who had such great character growth over their campaigns.

Yeah, that worried me too. I think the character has inched a little closer to full acknowledgment that she is not, in fact, over it (the Hound of Ill Omen rp, her killing of Bor'dor being explicitly because of her trauma around betrayal), but the fact that this was even the initial concept is very troubling.

I had some of the same reticence with Orym, since Liam was pretty upfront that he was meant to be Just A Guy who'd already been through the grieving process—but not only did Liam really put a lot more thought into what that would actually look like, the grief and recovery are not actually the point of Orym's story. Instead it's about the experience of what it means to be a foot soldier in a world full of legends, and that's a potentially engaging arc in its own right. He's not in my top ten or anything, but I generally enjoy what he's bringing to the table.

Laudna's just...a mess, and as you said, it really stands out when you compare her to Beau and Keyleth. I recently watched 2x30 for the first time, and the conversation between Beau and Caleb in the carriage on the way out of Shadycreek Run about what Beau's really doing and why she's with them was such a great scene. Her moment in 2x27 after Molly's death is good, but that more quiet conversation was so simple and yet established her so well. Keyleth, for her part, doesn't do a whole lot for me, but she doesn't really have to for me to recognize that she's a solid, well-developed character. Even Patia, who was around for a fraction of the time, was an absolute tour de force—and Patia makes the comparison even starker because she was created and developed at the same time as Laudna.

Like, there may be a turnaround here, but my charitable readings have worn thin, and even if this character does turn a corner, you still have to deal with the fact that she spent what will probably be at least half the campaign faffing around. Stories aren't made on potential; they're made on using it.

[uhhhitsme]

002 Tatiana :)

002 | Give me a character & I will tell you

How I feel about this character: 

All the people I ship romantically with this character: 

My non-romantic OTP for this character: 

My unpopular opinion about this character: 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

my OTP:

my cross over ship:

a headcanon fact:

THANK YOU FOR THIS OH MY GOD GUYS I KNOW IM RESPONDING RIDICULOUSLY LATE BUT KEEP THESE COMING I LOVE WRITING THESE!! YOU CAN ALSO DO SHIPS OR THE OTHER ONE :3

HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS CHARACTER: i need her carnally. i love her unlike anyone else. she deserves so much better than what she's been through. like i said i am a SUCKER for characters who go thru a lot and fight for a better future, i fucking love characters who care a lot, and tati does <3 also feels like one of those characters whos just really really tired of violence, and living so desensitized to it, someone who longs for a childhood and to have someone to lean on, who genuinely grieves the life she couldve lived. which. Always makes me feel a lot of emotions. also the most beautiful woman alive.

ALL THE PEOPLE I SHIP ROMANTICALLY WITH THIS CHARACTER: barb. spyentist rights oh my god i love the idea of their dynamic to have someone so loud and expressive and someone whos quiet and reserved. and on a perhaps Too Deep level two people who are naturally inclined to take care of others finally having someone who takes care of them. ALSO THINK OF THE SHENANIGANS LIKE PLEASE THE POTENTIAL IS LIMITLESS.

MY NON ROMANTIC OTP: CURT AND TATI!! i fucking love their canon bits together so much and love love love having two people who are very alone find comfort in each other. lesbian gay solidarity

MY UNPOPULAR OPINION ABOUT THIS CHARACTER: i dont think i really have one!! i guess shipping her with barb because i know some people dont see it which is so valid but not really anything other than that. OH i would say that she's very much a main character in the show. just as much as curt or owen

ONE THING I WISH WOULD HAPPEN: same thing with barb, it would be very nice to get more fandom content---she's such a complex and nuanced character and i think that deserves more acknowledgement!! i know this is hypocritical of me as curtwen occupies all of my thoughts and posts but one day.......

CROSSOVER SHIP: ok i dont ship them but i think it would be very fun to see a crossover where her and linda monroe interact because i know tatiana would just fucking EXPLODE her with her mind

HEADCANON: she takes up crochet and knitting ones she settles down and very much enjoys if!! she occasionally sends things to mrs. mega and curt. she also loves physical affection but only with those she trusts, and its hard for her to show it. decent cook, she makes edible food, but nothing really good---just survivable. in my mind she moves in with barb a while after post canon who absolutely CANNOT cook and they start learning together.

[thundersnowstorm]

ok now that hotd s2 is done, some Thoughts on it overall

what i liked

alicent and rhaenyra, i mean. what else can i say. their inverted arcs of love and duty being the heart of the show is killing me, can't believe i got the lesbian divorce drama of my dreams

HARRENHAL. ALYS. some of the coolest scenes in the show, i can't believe the writers made me like daemon by pinning him down like a butterfly and showing how wonderfully pathetic he can be

oscar tully you will always be famous To Me

the cinematography was just beautiful. yeah some of the shots were a bit too on the nose, but i love a metaphor, what can i say

i was initially hesitant about the choice of abubakar salim for alyn, just because he's basically twice the age of fifteen year old alyn in the book, but i take it all back, his monologue in the finale was EXCELLENT, and i'm very excited to see his evolution towards being oakenfist

aegon absolutely killing it this season, going from ecstatic king to grieving father to broken man. the scenes with larys have been excellent, and their dynamic has even more potential going forward

they finally gave jace a personality (bastardphobia) and i for one am loving it. i no longer hope jakey dies

the sowing of the seeds. the cracks in the facade of targaryen exceptionalism while a litany of blond haired smallfolk are led like lambs to the slaughter while rhaenyra watches. ahhhhh

the choice to give rhaenyra a single line in all of ep one as she grieves luke silently, only to speak to demand the death of aemond was so good

yes parts of it were slow (although the number of dragon scenes, including a dragon battle, in this season kind of undercuts that criticism imo) but the groundwork has absolutely been laid for the upcoming battles, i'm so excited

actual attention paid to thematic growth and the toll of war on the smallfolk? d&d left absolutely shaking in their boots

what i disliked

ultimately the biggest flaws can be attributed to the choice to have only eight episodes instead of the usual ten, which feels like it's somehow due to the sag-aftra strike. i loved ep 8 but it did feel more like a penultimate episode, not a finale

corlys, despite being hand of the queen, was a pretty passive character this season. some of this can be attributed to the grief over the loss of his wife, but i still think they wasted a good amount of his narrative potential

nettles :( i get the need to cut one of the dragonseeds, it's the logical place, but ulf would make more sense to cut imo, nettles is much more interesting character to explore the question of if valyrian blood is even needed to ride a dragon. i can't tell at all where they're trying to go with rhaena as sheepstealer's rider, since none of this lines up well with her post-dance arc, and i think keeping her dragonless until the hatching of morning makes her a much more interesting foil to the more martial baela

speaking of baela, i think the writers are ultimately just struggling to give characterization to the twins when quite honestly, the source material doesn't give them much to work with. but there's a lot more they could've used baela for, especially in exploring how the daemon/ rhaenyra rift was affecting all the blacks, especially his kids, or in adding some /actual/ conflict with the inheritance of driftmark.

the harrenhal scenes were too good to be tied up with that prophecy nonsense. hotd does so much better when it acts as a standalone from got, no one needs a reminder of season 8 here. as ambiguous motivation for rhaenyra's ambitions to be the prince who was promised, it works, but bringing in the actual song of ice and fire, when that's a story 170 years separated from the dance, feels like cheap pandering. and helaena suddenly showing up via telecom in the vision was honestly just hackey, it felt minimizing to use her that way when daemon was the one to kill her son

rhaenyra kissing mysaria was an excellent choice but we needed like, one scene where mysaria's motivations were properly explored by talking to someone other than a targaryen. she's got too much potential as a character to just be a loyal vassal to rhaenyra

the tyrosh scenes were fun but parts of it felt somewhat, uh, reminiscent of got's depiction of dorne? just vaguely orientalist in a weird way

overall a good and fun time, albeit with some flaws, i love my dragon lesbians

[fincalinde]

thank you so much for all your great jgy meta! i know you mostly post about xiyao, but i was wondering if you had any thoughts on su she?

I'm embarrassed! I'm blushing!

Seriously thanks though. I'd write just as much meta about LXC on his own if people asked me about it, since neither character is represented in particularly grounded ways by fandom. But JGY is the one who is the recipient of a baffling amount of hate, so I do tend to write about him on his own more.

But OK, it's Minshan's turn. I'm sure you'll be astonished that I don't think I've seen much if any textually-grounded portrayals of SMS. I'm not going to write an entire thesis on how to write him in a way that's consistent with what we see in canon, but I'll highlight a couple of points I think are notable and should be taken into account when writing him.

Gaslight

I like SMS and I think he's actually really interesting. I really try not to look over the parapet much in fandom, but obviously considering my interests I've been exposed to a lot more material on the subject of SMS and JGY than the subject of SMS and LWJ. I think SMS' weird hate-filled parasocial obsession with LWJ shouldn't be neglected when writing him. SMS wants to be LWJ but he hates the idea of anyone thinking he wants to be LWJ. SMS founded his own clan which means he must have a wife and children (and concubines too for all I know), but if he's feeling gay feelings for anyone it's probably LWJ.

LWJ represents SMS' fragile sense of self; SMS doesn't simply want to succeed outside the Lan, he wants to be a better Lan than the Lan. But he can't admit that to himself, so he reacts with fury whenever the comparison is made. My personal read on SMS is that his LWJ obsession doesn't have a sexual element, but it wouldn't necessarily be inconsistent with what we do see of him. Still, I think the more grounded read is that his LWJ obsession is the mirror of his relationship with JGY. Don't forget, the Moling Su would have crashed and burned not long after being founded if JGY hadn't intervened and supported them. He is very happy to be JGY's subordinate because JGY treats him with respect (which I speculate also means politely never drawing attention to the fact that SMS is baring his neuroses to the entire world by cosplaying as LWJ). Meanwhile LWJ, who has never respected SMS and will never respect him, inspires the opposite: SMS is desperate to best LWJ despite knowing deep down it's never going to happen.

Gatekeep

Let's get this out of the way: the relationship between JGY and SMS is firmly situated in the master-servant dynamic. Suffice to say that SMS is doggedly loyal to JGY in a supportive capacity, and the core of their relationship is reflected in its origins: JGY as a benevolent master and SMS as a devoted lackey. SMS is loyal to JGY because JGY treated him with kindness and support at a time when he was extremely politically vulnerable. JGY's kindness towards SMS is a combination of his usual politeness, hospitality and excellent memory, and his political support of SMS is a savvy move of its own as it nets him an ally who is loyal to him as a person rather than to the Jin as a whole.

My read on JGY's tears when SMS dies is that they're sincere both in the sense that he'll grieve SMS and also that he's just lost his best and most loyal servant. There's no indication he's lost a dear friend, and it's important to also remember his casual 'thanks' when SMS offers to sacrifice himself. SMS is, again, making this sacrifice as a lackey not as a friend of equal standing or a potential lover.

I like SMS fine and I really like his relationship with JGY. JGY obviously trusts him deeply but they both appear happy with the master-servant dynamic and haven't in all their years of collaboration moved towards the kind of warm and intimate friendship JGY has with LXC. Knowing JGY's secrets does not necessarily mean being closest to JGY emotionally.

Girlboss

We get a lot of conflicting information in canon about SMS' power level and talents, so it's not surprising that portrayals of him in fandom vary from incompetent to underestimated genius. I think what can sometimes be missing from these reads is an awareness of context.

One of the main things I've seen raised as evidence that SMS is actually a gifted cultivator is his utilisation of the transportation talisman. Being able to teleport in this manner is very difficult because of the large amount of power it requires. So, fair enough, there's no doubt that SMS has access to a decent amount of raw power. He's prospered alongside JGY so it's not surprising he's been able to develop his cultivational reserves and/or strengthen his core.

This doesn't really indicate that his strength is exceptional, though. The way these moments play out, it seems that cultivators at or above that power level are around. This is an impressive feat but it's not an astonishing one. Portraying SMS as weak contradicts canon, but I can't see any evidence that he's exceptionally strong in the context not just of the jianghu but of the (for the most part) exceptionally powerful cultivators who comprise much of the main cast.

So SMS is definitely a reasonably powerful cultivator, which again is to be expected considering the resources available to him (education amongst the Lan, the patronage of JGY). But it doesn't necessarily follow that SMS himself is exceptional.

SMS and the Moling Su practise similar and/or identical techniques to the Lan and canonically are inferior musicians. There's room for some subjectivity here insofar as we know that at the Burial Mounds the variations in their playing are dismissed by the Lan as standard incompetence when what is actually happening is that the blended melody technique is being used to drain their spiritual power. I think this kind of thing is why SMS is read by some as being more gifted than the text initially indicates.

However. The disguised melody technique is a technique invented by JGY. JGY specifically develops this technique in order to blend Turmoil and Cleansing when playing for NMJ. I sincerely doubt that conveniently SMS came up with the same idea independently. It seems obvious to me that JGY is the one if not developing these specific variations and sharing them with the Su, then at least he has introduced SMS to the concept so that SMS can develop his own disguised melodies. The genius at work here is that of JGY.

[sambambucky]

Wip game: lol that one movie but a horror fr

hiii ty! so... it's a space horror...? in the middle of a long range mission to relocate an entire population to a new planet across the galaxy, an error causes sam to wake up long before he was supposed to.

bucky, the only other human awake, has the terrible responsibility of informing sam that there's no way to put them back into cryosleep and they don't have enough supplies to survive the trip. they'll die on the ship together, lightyears before they ever make it to their destination.

maybe a space tragedy..? spoilery outline/rambling under the cut!

ok so i did have to look it up because i did not ever watch the movie, but this is vagule based on passengers (2016), more specifically on an episode of a podcast that i dont actually listen to anymore (miss you mid 2010s era Cracked podcast) where they would sometimes talk about 'bad' movies that had the potential to be WAY better if you changed a character or the ending or focused on a different part (hancock is one of my fave examples of this and i WILL die on that hill)

again, i dont know what happens in the actual movie, but in the fic..

-sam starts in denial, and bucky dutifully goes through the motions of trying to help sam fix their cryopods even though you can't; he's already spent an eternity trying everything -they hate each other, actually. seriously. they spend all of their time yelling at each other, and then sniping at each other, then just bickering, and eventually mostly just talking, getting to know each other -naturally something goes wrong, a classic space accident. they think fast and work in sync to save the rest of their sleeping crew and passengers, and well, there are worse people they could have been stuck with -bucky has to tell him. eventually -they fuck with the AI, dance in zero g, read books to each other, watch movies on a tiny screen, pull up the ship's manifest and make up stories about the people they'll never meet

-they pile into a tiny bed and dream about what they could have been if they'd met 50 years ago on inhabitable earth -they fall in love, or, whatever version of love there is to find between two people who only have each other in the oppressive vastness of space

-bucky confesses to sam, can barely make himself say the words but, he tells him that the only malfunction was with his cryochamber, that the only reason sam was defrosted is because bucky's a bad person, half crazy with loneliness by the time he even let himself think to do something so terrible, and he still tried not to do it, but his selfishness won out in the end -sam calls him a monster, a murderer, and swears to never speak to him again for the rest of their lives -they spend six sleep cycles apart, ten more not speaking, before sam chooses to forgive him. what else can he do? -the space ship - their prison, their home - is struck by space debris, or is attacked by pirates, does it even matter? bucky's bleeding out, bucky is dying in sam's arms, using his last breath to tell sam he loves him, to apologize, to swear that this time with sam has been the happiest time in his entire life

-so sam has to do this alone

-sam can do this alone

-he follows a routine, he takes care of himself and the ship

-he misses bucky more than he can even comprehend

-he grieves the future he was promised, the person he was supposed to be

-and, thanks to Cracked Podcast!!!, it closes with sam looking grave, mouth in a thin, unhappy line. his hand hovers over a glowing green 'defrost' button