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starry-bi-sky · 20 days

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Danyal Al Ghul: Incorrect Quotes and Miscellaneous Thoughts

Incorrect quotes-style snippets specifically for my danyal al ghul au here (which i really need to come up with a unique au name for atp). Because I thought it'd be funny. And also some miscellaneous headcanons thrown into the mix. Some context for the au: - Danyal is 5 years older than Damian (so 10 and 15) - Danny faked his death when he was 10. Talia knows and helped him with it. - Jazz, Sam, and Tucker do not know he's an ex-assassin.

-------- Snippet 1

Danny, dryly tapping his temple: I have, as the Americans say, irreparable psychological damage, right here.

Jazz, an older sibling first and foremost: well, it's good that you're self-aware.

-------- Snippet 2

Danny, aged 10, in the American foster planning to just age out of the system: *emanating Bad Vibes. Pure, Little Orphan Tom Riddle Energy*

Jazz, aged 12, coming in to adopt a new sibling with her parents: Him. This is my brother now :)

Danny: ...what

--------

Lilo and Stitch is Danny's favorite Disney movie. He watched it when he was 11 with Jazz when she was attempting to connect with him, and by this point Danny was becoming receptive to her efforts. They had a movie marathon in the living room one night.

Safe to say? It resonated with his little 11 year old heart strongly, and he related very strongly with both Nani and Stitch. He got unexpectedly emotional and hid in his room for the rest of the night. Jazz felt really bad, but it had the intended (but kinda unexpected) effect of him trying to be nicer to her afterwards.

-------- Snippet 3

Dash, aged 12, causing trouble again and getting intercepted by Danny: *scaling up a desk* AHHHHH! GET YOUR LITTLE FREAK, FOLEY!

Tucker: Hey! Danny is not a freak!

Dash: GET HIM TO BACK OFF

Tucker, was the kid Dash was messing with: ....whats in it for me

-------- Snippet 4

Danny, saying some questionably immoral shit: What. Why are you looking at me like that.

Tucker: Bro. I mean this as kindly as possible; what the fuck?

Sam: yeah, I'm with Tuck on this one.

-------- Snippet 5

Danny, ranting about Vlad: if it weren't for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered him

Sam, painting his nails black: I'm pretty sure you'd slaughter him regardless of the laws of the land -- and quit moving, you're gonna mess me up.

Tucker: we've literally seen you debate yourself about this, Dan

Danny: ...you are correct, but it is the principle of things.

-------- Snippet 6

Vlad: I have experience my child, and the money and power attained through using those powers for personal gain, you say. I could train you, teach you everything I know! And all you have to do is renounce that idiot adoptive father of yours.

Danny, was already contemplating committing a Violence: ....

Danny, internally: I'm going to stab him *turns into Phantom*

--------

Funny contrast I realized between Danyal and Vlad that iirc I haven't pointed out yet is that imo, Danyal doesn't rely on his powers nearly half as much as canon Danny does. He falls back instinctually on his League training, and thus sometimes forgets to use his powers in battle. This was prevalent especially early on when he was still getting used to the whole 'halfa' thing.

He incorporates them more often after a year, but still for the most part relies on his own physical hand-to-hand combat. He trusts those skills much more than he does his powers. I'm not sure where he is on a technical level compared to canon, but just to stay safe I'll say he's similar in power skill as canon Danny. Perhaps a little more finessed than him because his League training would probably have him trying to figure out his powers as soon as possible.

But in summary? Danny is strong in hand-to-hand combat, weak in powerset.

Meanwhile Vlad is the opposite. I can't recall if he even knows hand-to-hand in canon, but it makes total sense to me that Vlad Masters wouldn't because he's so confident in his monetary influence and ghost abilities that he sees no need for it.

And he's kinda got some merit behind it. He's very powerful and has 20 years of experience to experiment and fine tune his powers. He's got bite to follow up his bark. He's perfected long-range combat and his ability to phase through walls makes it impossible to corner him, but if you can manage it, then one good hit could probably knock him on his ass.

So in summary, Vlad is strong in powerset, weak in hand-to-hand combat.

And it casts a good contrast between the two of them in that regard. Danny, as a fellow halfa, can follow Vlad when he phases through walls and is fast enough to land a hit on him. His league training as an assassin, albeit rusty, is still deep ingrained enough in him that he can hold up as a rather veritable threat against Vlad without needing his powers.

But Vlad can force Danny to use his powers more often through use of his own. The duplication is the first thing to come to mind: Danny's fast enough to dispel them on his own without powers, and smart enough that he could figure out who the real one is if given a few minute. But that's not always efficient enough.

Good foils for each other that way. Also Vlad's Plasmius design mimics Ra's juuust enough that he looks like Ra's knockoff loser second cousin no one talks about, which only fuels Danny's hatred.

-------- Snippet 7

Danny, ranting about Vlad for the first time: --and it's only made worse by the fact that the little ingrate resembles a cheap knock-off of my grandfather!--

Sam, choking on her water: he what--

Tucker, doing a spittake: HE DOES?

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc crossover #danyal al ghul au #i have a doodle of that little scene with vlad actually. its in my notebook lmao.#danny gets *furiously* shakespearan when he's insulting someone. sam and tucker have recorded some of his rants #and they are just pure gold.#sam and tucker calling danny 'dan' as a nickname 2024.#which reminds me about how TUE would even happen. someone in my ao3 comments made a good point about how they weren't sure if my danyal #would even have a TUE occur because he's not the cheating type. i've seen clips of how he got his hands on the test answers but i'll need t #watch the episode to gauge if Dan is even feasible. and if he is what changes to make him happen. hmmm. much to think about #don't think danyal would stay with vlad even in the midst of his grief. hmhmhm #dpdc

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funshape · 3 months

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I AM BEYOND EXCITED TO PRESENT TO YOU MY FIRST EVER WEBCOMIC, TOYHOSPITAL!

WHAT IS IT?! To keep it short, it's a Christmas-centric comedy horror comic - with more of an emphasis on the horror part of that. Believe me, there's no shortage of blood and guts and horrific body horror in this, and though there's jokes and the occasional bit here and there, it gets very dark, very quickly!

More specifically, it's about a version of the North Pole where Santa (or, as he's referred to as in-universe, Father Christmas) encounters a shortage of workers. So, instead of having the elves make the toys, he decides to open up an isolated, ominous segment of his workshop dedicated to turn the adults on the naughty list into toys by brutally transmorgifying them. He does this by employing the use of a disease fittingly dubbed Toyetic Syndrome, which has the ability to turn living matter into toys - albeit slowly as the science behind it is still pretty experimental. This establishment is called the Toyhospital - but it has a duplicitous veneer to it as to not raise suspicion from Father Christmas' wider community of workers. To most of the elves, they know the Toyhospital as it's much less prominent side - a toy repair shop where toys from all over the world are sent in and fixed. This side has been internally dubbed as the 'nice' side, while the real, actual hospital side of the Toyhospital is dubbed internally as the 'naughty' side.

The most evil, vile, or easy to manipulate elves and holiday creatures are in employ at the 'naughty' side of the Toyhospital, and they tend to be pretty relentless to those unlucky enough to end up as 'patients'. Fortunately (or unfortunately if you find yourself taking sympathy on them) the Toyetic Syndrome affects them, too. They're staffed there to basically prolong the patient population's suffering as long as possible, be that through physical or psychological methods. The thing is that Toyetic Syndrome is such a biohazard that everyone in there is locked in for the public's safety, making escape near impossible.

SO WHEN'S IT COMING OUT??? Uh! Sometime in the near future! No exact date yet. It's still getting it's footing established for now so nothing official will come out for a while. I've still got a lot of work to go through to get this thing out there, but all the main character designs that you see here have been finalized and the concept's tight enough where I feel comfortable presenting it in a loose form like this, so here you go! I've still got some characters I'm withholding for the story's sake, but these are the main players.

On the topic of these guys, let's get into the characters! (info about them below the cut)

CINNAMON is one of the protagonists of Toyhospital alongside IAN! He's your traditional cheerful, tooth-rottingly adorable Christmas elf. He used to work at the 'nice' side of the Toyhospital before his curiosity over the building's unusual floorplan led him into the 'naughty' side of the building. He got locked in, and he's looking for a way out. He's also infected with Toyetic Syndrome - albeit a much less outwardly harmful version of it that manifests in him becoming a cute, cuddly plush worm - but he's still desperately seeking a cure for his ailment before things have the chance to get ugly. Naturally, raised in an environment of pure sugary happiness and then suddenly getting thrusted into a hellhole of blood and disembowelment, Cinnamon is utterly terrified. Despite his horrified state, Cinnamon always approaches situations with a pacifistic, 'understanding everyone' mindset and is more than willing to give others second chances even if they don't really deserve his kindness.

WHITTAKER is the Toyhospital's dentist! He has an extreme aversion to seeing others discontent and will do anything to make them smile, physically altering their faces to get them to do so. He's prone to laughing fits, often interrupting himself mid-sentence to burst out giggling at nothing. Though he seems driven to achieving his goal of making every person in the Toyhospital 'happy', the guy doesn't actually seem all that...lucid. He tends to seem kind of 'out of it' a lot. Disconcertingly a lot, in fact. Sometimes, though, he can have brief moments where he snaps out of whatever funk he's in; and when he's not being giddy, Whittaker is surprisingly critical of those around him, most notably his other coworkers. While some of his criticisms towards others are as petty as them not smiling enough or having bad posture, a lot of them are troublingly grounded and more centered around the morality of what they do to others.

PEPPERMINT is Toyhospital's clown! But they're not all that good at it. Peppermint mainly just sees the whole 'clowning' gig as another stepping stone towards the real career they want for themselves - that being in Broadway musical theater. His dreams aren’t exactly accommodating of others, and he’s always had a tendency to put others down to elevate himself. Now that he’s employed by the Toyhospital, that immature, egotistical behavior has fostered into something downright dangerous. He has no regard for the lives of others, being totally apathetic if people around him die to the point where he has no qualms with hurting others himself if it can benefit him in some way. When they’re not dramatically complaining about others, they’re definitely gloating about themselves. Even at their worst points, their actions are still reflective of their love of performance, and their mannerisms are appropriately incredibly theatrical.

PHONESLEY is the receptionist! Phonesley is certainly an odd character to come across. The guy’s super unsettling, he has a tone that’s a bit too cheery and a bit too jovial considering how gruesome his workplace is - and that’s completely overlooking whatever’s going on with his organs, which he seems to be completely oblivious to. He’s really absentminded and has a tendency to lose track of what he’s doing and drools excessively. There’s a lot of mystery that surrounds Phonesley, from occasional slips mid-conversation that imply that he knows more than he lets on, to his questionable familiarity when it comes to elf culture and just the overall way the North Pole functions despite being employed by them. Who knows, if you stick around him for long enough, you might just happen to hear him rattle on about a few conspiracy theories of his….

SNOWBALL is the nurse, and perhaps the nicest person you'll come across working in the Toyhospital! They seem like a complete sweetiepie who loves rainbow and glitter and just wants to make sure everyone's taken care of. Although, that niceness of theirs is a double-edged sword. While they can seem like a saving grace when you first encounter them, come to spend enough time around them and you'll realize that they're actually suffocatingly overprotective and possessive. Snowball loves toys, and to them, turning naughty people into toys is a complete universal good. They'll do anything they can to speed up the process of that, and they always seem to keep a few patients for themselves so they can 'care' for them. Snowball's niceness melts away once someone even hints at leaving their care, as they'll quickly become enraged at the mere thought of being left behind.

BALTHAZAR is the head surgeon - the brains of the operation, one could say. She was put in charge by Father Christmas himself, and it's easy to see why she would be heading something like this. Balthazar has an undying, burning, festering hatred for naughty individuals. She seems to believe in a grand conspiracy that somehow, anyone on the naughty list is responsible for ruining her life and turning her into what she is now. Needless to say, she does not hold back when it comes to punishing those she believes to be in the wrong. For an idea of what her punishments look like, her favorite among them is to cut a person's legs off and watch as they bleed out and die in the struggle to escape her wrath. Even most of her own staff is terrified of her, as she's always insisting they be more brutal with their punishments, even when they're already being as relentless as physically possible. Her hatred for naughty people makes trying to reason with her completely futile. While most people view her as a cutthroat force of terror, the very few among her staff that are close to her have nothing but good things to say about their boss. Strangely enough, these few tend to describe her like she's some sweet, misunderstood person - a complete juxtaposition to how she actually is.

BEAU is the plastic surgeon of the Toyhospital! She's completely obsessed with being the 'it' girl, having modified her own body to be utterly unrecognizable from the elf she used to be - much more resembling a human than an elf in her current state. She viewed every part of herself as flawed, and now that she's become 'perfect' in her eyes, she now projects that former self-hatred for herself onto others. It goes without saying that Beau is an incredibly judgemental and self-centered person. She preforms unnecessary surgeries on others, not just to inherently improve them, but purely because she, personally, takes issue with the very way they look. She's very talkative, and with the amount of dirt she has on other people, has a habit of just letting their secrets slip randomly. Her entire persona of being a cool, collected, perfect girl completely falls apart once someone mentions a perceived flaw about her - at which point she'll either become violent towards them or become obsessed with fixing whatever's 'wrong' with her.

CHILLBLAIN is the hospital's mortician! Unlike the others among the staff, she isn't an elf or even a human - she's a snowperson, one who's incredibly intent on tormenting humanity for how they've treated her kind like disposable holiday novelties. And though her job has to do with laying the dead to rest, she's not all too keen on that. She is, perhaps, the most cruel individual to walk the Toyhospital's halls, as she's not even insistent on punishing people via infecting them with the Toyetic Syndrome. She dishes out a far worse fate. She's incredibly fond of heat torture, melting people down into puddles of flesh and blood and keeping them alive just to hear them writhe around and scream in agony. She refuses to let any of her patients die, instead locking them away in the mortuary ward and taking them out when she feels like having a little bit of 'fun' with them. She's much more cunning, clever, and for lack of a better word, cold than her peers are. There's a certain eeriness that surrounds her. 'Sadistic' is just about the best word there is to describe her.

and last but not least, there's IAN! Ian is the protagonist of Toyhospital, with Cinnamon accompanying him on his travels throughout the complex. Unlike the other patients, Ian ended up in the Toyhospital by pure mistake. He was on the naughty list as a kid, but throughout the years he's matured as a person through a lot of self-reflection and therapy and has far since outgrown his 'problem child' status. He's just here because of an issue in the naughty-nice list sorting system that sorted him into the naughty list. His main motivation is to get out of this place and sue whoever's behind it.. He's a very rational person and tries to comprehend everything that's going on from a logical perspective even if he's completely out of his element in this strange, magical world. He has no patience for the people behind this operation or whatever motivations they might have, he just wants his freedom. He has a tendency to lose composure whenever things get stressful, a facet of himself he's not too proud of. On the inside, he's very afraid of regressing back into the person he used to be before he went down his path of self-improvement - and fears his time in the Toyhospital may just be his breaking point.

#toyhospital #my art #character design #art #character art #oc #horror #cartoon

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lovetei · 10 months

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Heyyy,

I saw your toxic things the demon bros will do to keep you with them and i absolutely fell in love with. More of, my mental health issues felll in love with- ANYGAYSzz

I was wondering if you could maybe do the same for the side characters¿¿¿¿

Also did you drink water today? Cuz if thats a no here you go 💧💧💧💧

And some cookies just incase 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

Love anonymous 👑

I'm not actually supposed to post anything for tonight, because I don't know? I didn't get to start anything this morning so I crammed this post T_T

But love lots! Hope you enjoy this piece ^^

But seriously, I was like "Oh shit, the algorithm I don't have!" And proceed to finish this.

--------------------------------------------------

What are the most toxic thing they will do in a relationship just to make you stay with them?

Versions: Demon brothers, Side Characters

Warnings: Manipulation, yandere themes, execution, mention of torture, psychological torture, love potions, Mentions of murder, framing, alcohol

Links: Masterlist

--------------------------------------------------

DIAVOLO will use his authority

He's already so happy to have you by his side

And by staying there you already secured the position of the next ruler that will stand beside him

So, why do you have to leave..?

And the reasons

"I'm not fit enough..."

"I don't deserve this much..!"

"There are more people out there that are more worthy than me..."

Won't cut it.

He knows your worth and he's sure you do too.

So why?

Perhaps you're just nervous that you won't be able to match his grace?

You don't need to.

His grace is unmatched among the demons and yours is too among the mortals.

You both are on the same chapter, just on different pages.

So why make things hard for yourself?!

All you need to do is say yes and everything will be taken care of.

Clothes, food, money, status, security and literally anything.

He loves you and you does too so it's not going to be a marriage with no love...

SO WHY?

You're starting to drive him insane, MC.

And he might just do the same to you

So he'll invite you over for a fancy dinner and a few drinks

You accepted, despite knowing that Diavolo might try something after he got you drunk

Thinking that Diavolo forgot that you can't get drunk by just a basic demonus

Fool

That's what you are for thinking Diavolo actually misses something, anything about you

So he changed the bottle of demonus to an actual human liquor but neutralized it's taste by the help of his one, loyal servant

Barbatos

Not even two hour passed by and you're already putty in his hands

Dancing just like how he wants it on his palms

Then he'll slide a paper into the table to you, together with a beautiful pen

He then point at an empty line with his finger and said "Look at that MC, this line right here wants your signature."

"Hmm, why?~"

"Because it's such a huge fan of you and it needs you to become something, someone better, so why don't you give it a sign?" Is what he said while smirking.

And there you are, signing the papers while your mind is clouded with alcohol

Oh what is it?

Just a marriage contract

You don't want it?

Look into rules and regulations, Claus 5

It's against your human rights?

How foolish, you're not in the human world.

You will tell the whole Devildom about it?

Lèse majesté

And what's the punishment for committing that? Simple.

Death.

BARBATOS and his timeline power

He loves you

So much actually

At first, it was fun to be in a relationship with him

It's fun, slowly opening him up like a present and seeing the gift, a part of him that only you know.

He builds up trust for you and so do you for him

Then it started to get suffocating

He won't admit it openly but you know,

You know that the one who kills anyone who dared act close with you is him

And it terrifies you

You may allow it if it actually harms you, severely

But it's not for your protection anymore

He's doing it out of pure annoyance now

He doesn't like you around the brothers

The angels

Solomon

Thirteen

Or even Lord Diavolo

In fact, he doesn't want you around anyone.

And it's making you feel more unsafe

He's starting to isolate you from everyone and everything

He's trying to isolate you from the world

So you decided to end things with him

And he doesn't seem to take it lightly like how you expected...

How did you know?

Simple.

You woke up weeks before that break up happened

You know how it happened and you know who made it happen

It's none other than your boyfriend of course

You thought that maybe if you talk nicely with him he'll actually understand the problem

But he didn't

He started to get more and more aggressive with you

Then when the week end

It repeats

And repeats

And repeats again

And again

But it will keep going on like that until you learn

Until you learn that there's no other option than him

No other ending than him

He doesn't mind driving you crazy if it means you'll continue to love him

So good luck, MC.

SIMEON might just ask Father for help

Ho doesn't understand!

Why would you want to break up with him?!

He did everything, MC!

It's not clear!

Nothing is clear!

You just belive that you two are not fit together..?

You don't want him to end up like Lilith..?

He doesn't care!

He'll burn these precious, white wings for you!

He'll kill for you!

He'd actually prefer to end up like Lilith rather than this!

Because, at least, Lilith managed to be with her love until her life ended...

He'd rather be a demon or a human rather then live like the adored angel he is without you...

...

You'll still leave huh?

Alright then.

I guess he has no choice but to ask Father for help

What do you mean it will cause him to fall? Oh dear, it won't.

It might actually even promote him into a higher rank.

Father wants you in his side.

In fact, the whole celestial realm want you on this side

So when he asked "Father, it seems that we need to take even larger measure to have MC side with us. What do you think we can do?"

...oh?

Luke?

What a brilliant plan.

Now,

Let's see if you can still leave knowing an innocent life, Luke, will be put under danger because of this tantrum,

Because of you.

SOLOMON and his hidden antics

Oh dear, angel

His little devil

His most prized possession

His favorite concubine,

You won't be leaving him anytime soon, dear.

When you told him that "I want to break up with you."

He kept himself quite for a while before answering "Let me give it some thought, MC. For now, stay with me."

And just as he expected you listened obediently.

But then, his grip around your waits became more rough

And the hand he used to playfully wrap around your neck became more tight

It's hard...

It's hard to feed you his love laced cooking

But he found out that you just loves, adored even, Luke's baked cookies...

And since you're a human, he knows that Luke creates special cookies just for you

One that don't contain exotic ingredients that will upset your stomach

And it just made the work of latching love potions easier for him

He'll just add a few drops and it will do the magic for him

So, all he has to do sit tight

And wait for you to crawl back to his lap yourself.

RAPHAEL will use spears for example

Haha...

But he loves you, MC..?

He might just start crying if you say more

"Sure... But I'll make sure you'll come back to me..!"

At first, it sounded like a joke and it's funny enough to make you giggle

The beautiful memories of peaceful separation didn't last long after you saw a dead body pinned by spears though

His spears, to be specific

It doesn't even make sense

You don't even know this guy...

He hasn't talk to you and you don't even know him

Hell, you don't even recognize his face...

So what's the catch?

Why is he killing completely random people...

That's what have been running around your mind

You haven't seen him around RAD anymore

And if you do he refuse to answer your questions

Except his face will lightly flush and he'll even smile a little before sa say "Ah~ It's nice hearing your voice..."

His tone, the way he says it, none of theme are innocent

And he made it known that he knows what he's doing

The curiosity didn't last long

Until you found out that the corpses aren't for you from him as a threat

It was for the families of the victims

You found out that each of them have high power among the nobilities of Devildom

And he killed them to make the families think that you're telling him to do so

It's not to make you feel guilty, it for them to start attacking you

Until you're pushed back to a corner where no one else can save you

Except for him.

MEPHISTOPHELES's way only

Ha...

Man he loves you so much...

But all he do is stare at you blankly after you told him you ant to break up

Staring at you like you're just some kid throwing a tantrum

It's Mephistopheles in front of you, I mean, he's rich, handsome, tall, smart and has good family background

If he's a human everybody would have gone crazy over him already

Plus he wears heels and he has a sexy cane

What more could you ask for?

But yeah...

You don't want to be with him forever?

Sure, he'll talk to Diavolo.

"I'll buy MC's contract and I'll put them under my wing." Is all the reason he needs to say and a few more to have Diavolo selling you

What about your family?

This amount will do right?

I mean...

He paid for what your worth so don't expect it to be much.

Anyways, you're his now

By the eyes of the law, money and his

He'll never let you get away?

And if you did try to?

He'll simply frame you for treason and let's see if you won't come crawling back to him

After finding out that he can choose what type of punishment, torture method, to give you.

But don't worry.

He likes the game cat and mouse

He don't like playing it for a long time though

So be careful

His patience isn't as long as the line of money and connection ahead of him

THIRTEEN basically holds your life

Break up?

"You're not." Is all she said as she holds your candle

She's grinning widely as she let your candle melt, its 's wax falling directly in her hands

"Why would you even want to?" She asked even though she knows, no reason can separate the two of you

And if you did say "I don't care." as she holds you candle

She might just accidentally extinguish one of your loved ones candles

So be careful, MC.

Among everyone

She's the only one who won't joke around.

And just so you know

Her patience is shorter than the amount of time it requires to kill someone's fire off of their candle.

#obey me fluff #obey me headcanons #obey me nightbringer #obey me scenarios #obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me angst #obey me Diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me luke #obey me Raphael #obey me Mephistopheles #obey me thirteen #obey me yandere

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aurae-rori · 28 days

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DR RATIO ANALYSIS

SPOILERS FOR 2.1 CONTENT!

Now, you might be saying - "Aurae, Oh No! and Are You Satisfied? are much too basic songs to analyze Dr. Ratio to! Just because he's a scholar doesn't mean that he has academic trauma!" WRONG! Before we start, I have been researching psychology for approximately six years and I plan to go into it professionally. HOWEVER, that said, I am NOT a professional (YET. One day I will be. Yay for Aurae!) so understand that everything I come to conclusions about has been analyzed with some personal judgement, personal interpretations, and this is just what I have concluded with the info that I have deconstructed from his brain. If you disagree, that's fine!

I will be pulling from my own experiences with being a "golden" and "gifted" child, as well as the experiences I've had speaking to other people who were those. I will also be pulling from my experiences of researching and seeing how people with superiority complexes work, as well as diving into how those work (from what I've seen, as well as how they conceal a lack of self-esteem).

OKAY, NOW THAT THAT LONG AHH DISCLAIMER IS OVER, ALLOW ME TO WORK MY PSYCH ENJOYER MAGIC! Let's deconstruct Dr. Ratio like a lego toy.

Let's start off with how Dr. Ratio presents himself. When you first meet him, he seems like a haughty, arrogant asshole. He likes to PRESENT himself as a stoic, superior scholar who is purely in it to win it, and I got total "*stares down at your tiny body and laughs at how you lack knowledge*" vibes at the very start, due to how he goes around calling people idiots all the time. However, he DOES lose the idgaf war, and we can very quickly see that he does care for other people, even if in his own, strange way. Dr Ratio presentation: An asshole. The reality?

His entire character is based around the idea of helping the masses. He wishes to spread knowledge through the cosmos and give people who didn't have access to it, access. He's a harsh teacher, and calling people 'idiots' is NOT the way to motivate them, but he's doing his best™.

Actually, no, I'm going to go full psych into this. Okay, so here starts the Dr. Ratio and my FATHER COMPARISONS. My father is a professor and he is often called a harsh grader by his students. However, I've spoken to him multiple times because I was curious - why is he so harsh and diligent with his grading system? The answer is - he wants them to actually learn. When he's grading, he gives them harsh marks because he wants them to know exactly where they messed up, and he's always willing to stay after hours to help students understand where they can't. My father also is an enjoyer of knowledge, and for as long as I've remembered, he has prioritized teaching me how to think critically. He wants me to be able to think for myself - and I think that's what Dr. Ratio wants, too. He wants for his students to be able to fully comprehend and absorb the information that he teaches, and although his methods are harsh, he genuinely wants to help. My father's like this too - he hates students that waste his time or aren't here because their hearts are in it. Dr. Ratio hates people who aren't taking their education seriously because knowledge is important. Knowledge is a tool, and to disregard it completely is lowkey kind of insulting - especially when there are people who weren't privileged enough to actually get it, so this isn't something that you should take for granted. Dr. Ratio despises people who take knowledge for granted.

Also, I disagree with the claims that say that Dr. Ratio hates the genius society. He shows open respect for them in his voice lines. Just check them if you need proof. Also, I'll delve into the idea of Aeons and recognition later.

Now that we’ve established that Dr. Ratio kins my dad, let’s let's tackle the 'stoic' allegations. He is LOSING the idgaf war. Like, really badly. He has a temper of a thousand suns and snaps at people frequently, despite his 'impassive' face, his tone holds a LOT of emotion. He seems to feel very deeply and has a shit ton of empathy for others - why else would he be dedicating his entire career to helping others? Of course, he doesn't express this in 'typical' ways of being openly kind - but it doesn't mean that he doesn't care for other people. In fact, he seems to be pretty good at putting himself in the shoes of others and understanding them - expressed in the 2.1 quest where he tells Aventurine to tell him if he can't hold on any longer. Also, he loses the IDGAF war because he is actively trying to help people who want to learn and trying to spread logic and knowledge across the cosmos to those who didn't have it before. Would a man who didn't GAF do that? No!

Now that we've covered his view on knowledge and the way that he presents himself, let's turn to the way that he SEES himself. Now, this is where we get into the nitty gritty of gifted child trauma & academic trauma as well as crippling expectations. It's literally explicitly said in his character stories that he sees himself as mediocre, and it's canon that he doesn't have a good view of himself. His self-esteem is down in the fucking trenches along with my sanity as I write this analysis. The reality is - being called a genius your whole life doesn't really make you feel better about yourself. I'd know. I was. In fact, it makes you feel fucking worse when you can't live up to an expectation. We all fail in life. It's part of being human. But when you're held to such high standards - idolized for your knowledge and the way that you're 'gifted' - the crash comes really fucking hard. Failure is inevitable, and when people who are held on that pedestal experience it, they take it really bad.

The reality is that nobody - not even geniuses - are perfect, but you grow up believing that you are. Then, when you fail for the first time, it all comes tumbling down. The first time I came home with a bad grade was one of the most humiliating moments of my life. I hadn't studied because I was arrogant and I thought that I was smart enough to pass without putting any extra effort into it - because I was a 'gifted' child, right? I should've been able to do it without studying like the other kids. And that's the thing with gifted children – you grow reliant on that title. You cling onto it for dear life for motivation, as well as self-perception. Little by little, the person you are falls apart as you slave away to the perception other people have of you. I think basically every gifted child that I've ever spoken to is a victim of this – and of course, you can heal from this mindset - but it's a hard one to shake.

Ratio's way of presenting himself as being a 'genius' and 'arrogant' also seems to contradict the way that he calls himself 'mundane' at the same time. However, these are two mindsets that can coexist. One part of you believes that you are a genius and that you are perfect, while the other part is crumbling and calling yourself good-for-nothing every time you make a mistake. It's a tiring cycle to live in. This usually leads to people shutting themselves out and closing themselves off after living like that, pushing back your own feelings in favour of being the perfect child. However, we don't know the exact details of Dr. Ratio's childhood, but we can infer that he was held to a pedestal, and this is a very harmful mindset for a child to have.

His superiority complex comes both from how other people view him, but it's a way to cope with his crippling lack of self-esteem. I'm sorry my guy. Also helping others probably helps him feel like he's worth something and makes him feel better because he bases his entire worth off of what he can do and how he can help others. However, this is just my personal interpretation backed by what I have already deconstructed.

In general, this is an easy way to crush self-esteem. You spend your whole life working to meet the image of what other people think you are. In fact, another reason why Dr. Ratio might be so harsh is because that’s the kind of attitude he holds towards himself when conducting research – he’s as hard on himself as he is to others. You end up hating the idea of failure, instead of seeing it as it should be - a way to improve and grow. Actually, I think this could be a reason that he went out of his way to break that illusion of 'worshipping geniuses' in the Space Station. Maybe some sort of childhood connection? Personal connection? In his endeavour to spread more knowledge and make people think for themselves and not blindly follow geniuses, to wake them up and let them think for themselves - maybe, somewhere, in there, he's helping that little child that was almost dehumanized for his intelligence. TLDR: Conflicting mindsets due to trauma, brain vs heart almost - his knowledge that he is a genius vs the crippling lack of his self worth.

Now that we've established Dr. Ratio's self worth, let's take a look at the impact Aeons had on him. Nous, the Aeon of Knowledge itself. I think in a world where the Gods are real, tangible beings that you can reach out and talk to - it makes sense that someone with high ambition and someone who's been called a genius his whole life would seek the confirmation of Nous. When you're a man of knowledge, and you've spent your whole life working with it, being praised for it – it feels natural to look for a god to look down upon you and bless you, right? The Genius Society – it should house him, because he is a genius as well, right? Imagine this – you have been called a genius your whole life, held to that kind of pedestal for so long, and now you wait for the recognition of the Gods. Because if you truly are a genius – then surely, a higher being will recognize your intelligence, right?

The invitation never comes.

And then, comes the doubt.

What if I'm really not a genius? What if everything I've worked for is a lie? Aeons are beings that are 'absolute'. If the god of Knowledge won't accept you or even cast a glance upon you, does that mean that everything was wrong. Gods see more than humans, after all. Gods know more than humans - and that spiral... I think you can see if. (If you don't let me know. I will ramble about how a failure like that can make you spiral down into a worse mindset).

However, the reason why Ratio was never invited to the Genius Society is simple. It’s because he LOSES THE IDGAF WAR. Now, if we look at all the people we know who are in the Genius Society - we find one thing in common. They’re in it to win it for themselves. They don’t help others using the knowledge that they’ve gotten - they use it to pursue shit for themselves. The people of the Genius Society are inherently self-serving. They WIN the idgaf war. Ratio LOSES. Do we see now?

Ratio’s empathy is the reason why he wasn’t let in. He is too human. Nous is a computer. Herta is detached from people. Ruan Mei is literally looking at life as test subjects. Screwllum is a robot.

OUR DOCTOR MAN LOST THE IDGAF WAR, BECAUSE HE IS HUMAN AND FEELS FOR OTHERS!!!

Also, it’s a plausible theory that Nous’s definition of ‘genius’ is different from the human definition of ‘genius’ – it’s a computer, after all. Who knows what’s going on in that code head of its.

However, we still love you Ratio. Never stop losing the IDGAF war.

TLDR: Nous is a computer. It is also in it to win it. It is also self serving. It gazes upon the hoes who are here to win it for themselves. Ratio is busy serving the masses and cooking knowledge in his frying pan. To it, there is no logical reason to be doing this. Therefore, no reason to invite this guy to the Genius Society.

Ratio’s gifted child trauma says otherwise. He wants in. Why wouldn’t he? He’s been working his whole life as a genius.

Nous is like… nah bro, you care too much. Ratio is like, ‘what the fuck?’ And then the AEON OF KNOWLEDGE GOES FOR THE MILK.

Okay, now, quick shoutout to Ratio wanting to help others. He is just like me fr. SO BASICALLY, RECAP OF EVERYTHING I JUST SAID:

Ratio LOSES the idgaf war because he cares about other people. Spent his whole life as the golden egg, and then turns to the gods for recognition because of the inherent trauma of being a child genius. He goes, "hey bro, can you confirm that I am in fact a genius?" and Nous goes, "no, you are too busy cheffing for the masses." Ratio goes, "what the fuck?" and then we collectively realize his attitude comes from blocking off his feelings (while failing miserably), being salty about not being recognized, being put on a pedestal for his whole life, and his crippling depression *cough* lack of self worth *cough*.

Oh, and the "I will never be enough" thought train probably hits him every single day. He is not enough to be recognized by a God. Gods are superior to humans. Maybe nothing has worth after all. Hey, that's Nihility! Hi IX, let's hear what you have to say.

*muffled ix noises*

I see, I see.

The consensus is: HE'S TRAUMATIZED BY EXPECTATIONS! HE WILL PROBABLY SUFFER FROM BURNT OUT GIFTED CHILD IF HE HAS NOT ALREADY!

Okay, now, before I delve into song lyrics (and I KNOW this has been long, just bear with me) I want to talk a little bit (read: a lot) about his relationship with Aventurine. We all know that he cares about Aventurine in his own way. But I want to pull in another idea that I didn’t cover before:

Ratio’s fucking emotional constipation.

Basically, the reason why he has trouble connecting with others is because he was most likely alienated by others as a symptom of being called a genius and being put on a pedestal. This makes him seem unapproachable to his peers, most likely, and therefore, as a result, doesn’t know how to properly connect with others. This just makes his way of presenting affection and care to others even more challenging – because he just doesn’t know how to do it in a healthy and clear way. Academic trauma causing emotional problems, because he’s probably a little bit out of touch with his own. Processing? No! Research. Also, this is very important for understanding Ratio’s character in my opinion, because he’s just a little guy who doesn’t know how to articulate. Maybe he’s got a touch of the ‘tism. Tism mutuals, do we agree or disagree?

However, in comes Aventurine. Love Aventurine, but they are both emotionally constipated. Aventurine displays his affection in ways that Ratio probably only catches after re-analyzing their time together about five times. He’s also a very closed off individual – but Ratio knows this. A cute thing is that Ratio is patient where he needs to be, even if he’s generally a pretty hot-headed guy, and I’m like… bro… that letter… “I wish you the best of luck”... I will wait for you…. GAY ASS MAN…

Sorry the Aventio demons took over. Anyway, what I’m trying to say here is that they both have nonverbal communication with one another that they clearly decipher and Ratio obviously cares for him (he came back and almost jeopardized the plan just for the sake of his ‘coworker’... okay gayboy…) and they just have such a neat little dynamic… Aventurine lets Dr. Ratio do his thing… understands his emotional alienation to a degree…. they’re so neat….

Okay, Aventurine segment over. NOW, FINALLY, WE CAN GET TO THE SONG LYRICS!!! YAY!!!! We all cheered!!!

We are going to be here for two more amber eras, because I realized I actually want to analyze every single lyric from both of these songs. Brace yourself for like, 2k more words. Help.

I think it’s only proper that we start off with ‘Oh No!’ the song that has haunted me since my childhood.

“Don’t do love, don’t do friends

I’m only after success

Don’t need a relationship

I’ll never soften my grip”

Remember when I mentioned that alienation was a big part of Ratio lore? Yeah, that manifests itself in this. When you spend your entire life chasing after knowledge and being held to that standard of untouchable genius, it makes sense that you couldn’t connect with others and that you turn your gaze only to success. Therefore, relationships that are interpersonal lose meaning for a bit – you’re just looking for answers and ways to help them, not connect with them. Also, this is what he wants to do – so he’s never going to pass down an opportunity to better himself or to help someone else.

“Don’t want cash, don’t want card

Want it fast, want it hard

Don’t need money, don’t need fame

I just want to make a change

I just wanna change, I just wanna change”

This is directly alluding to his reasonings for distributing knowledge across the cosmos. Was he based on this song? Maybe he was. He’s not looking for money or fame, his ultimate goal is actually pretty selfless – to bring knowledge and give people the tools they need to think for themselves. He just wants to make a change – he just wants people to be able to have access to knowledge and help cure ‘stupidity’. He wants to do it as quickly as possible, always reaching for lofty goals that might seem impossible, but he will make them possible.

“I know exactly what I want and who I want to be

I know exactly why I walk and talk like a machine

I’m now becoming my own self-fulfilled prophecy

Oh! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no, oh!”

Ratio knows his goal. He knows what he’s working towards. I do believe that he understands why he is the way that he is – he has a degree in Psychology, after all. He knows how he’s been hurt but at the same time, the trauma brain probably doesn’t want to recognize it and he hasn’t stepped into healing yet. He knows what he went through impacted him, but he’s too busy helping others to help himself. He’s becoming what he wants to be, and yet he’s not, all at the same time – which causes the idea of “oh no!” as a kind of cry for help, almost. He’s too proud to ask for it himself, of course, so he’ll fall alone until someone manages to catch him and give him the strength to continue holding on. Aventurine is that.

“One track mind, one track heart

If I fail, I’ll fall apart

Maybe it is all a test

‘Cause I feel like I’m the worst

So I always act like I’m the best”

Now, these are the exact lyrics that made me associate this song with Ratio in the first place. He’s got a singular goal that he will do nothing to stop at getting, that he goes so far to get to. However, as I mentioned earlier, failure is not an option for those who were deemed gifted or genius. You are perfect, so therefore you must live up to everyone’s every expectation and surpass them, too, in order to keep your perception of yourself intact. Ratio does not hold himself in high regard, but acts arrogant in order to hold himself together and not fall to the self-deprecating thoughts, even if they fall through the cracks. It gets tiring to hold yourself together like that for a long time, you know?

“I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly

I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die

I’m gonna live, I’m gonna fly

I’m gonna fail, I’m gonna die”

Remember how I was talking about contradictory mindsets and how they can coexist. This is them. The feeling of crippling self-hatred and lack of self esteem versus the idea that you can do it, you can make a difference – you were born a genius, this is what you’re going to do. This is the knowledge that you are a genius vs the lack of self-esteem that Ratio has. “Mediocre” vs “genius” mindset, eh?

All the other lyrics in this song are repetitions of what I’ve analyzed before, so let’s move onto “Are you Satisfied?”

To be honest, there are only a few lines in this song that allow me to connect it to Ratio, so therefore, I will only be analyzing them. However, if you think that other lyrics can connect to him, I’d be interested in knowing how.

“What you’re gonna be

It’s not my problem if you don’t see what I see

And I do not give a damn if you don’t believe

My problem, it’s my problem that I never am happy

It’s my problem, it’s my problem on how fast I will succeed”

Pretending to not care about how the world sees you is so fucking real. Sometimes, you really don’t give a shit, and sometimes it’s all you can think about. Ratio… doesn’t seem like he’s the happiest person. He works himself hard and he’s always chasing after a goal that must be exhausting. He’s always doing his best, and I think even with his empathy, it’s easy to start not giving a shit after trying for so long and so hard. Accepting help is one of the hardest things that anybody can do, especially with how much pride he has. His personal problems are his personal problems and he can deal with them on his own.

“High achiever, don’t you see?

Baby, nothing comes for free

They say I’m a control freak

Driven by a greed to succeed

Nobody can stop me”

Nothing comes for free. A lot of the things Ratio has achieved is due to his own intelligence, yes, but also because of a shit ton of hard work. His goal is literally to cure the universe of ‘stupidity’ – and that’s a pretty large fucking goal. He is a high achiever who likes to know the details of every situation when he can in order to try and make things better, and he is driven by a greed to succeed. Why wouldn’t he be? Success is important, and success means helping more people. He isn’t going to allow himself to be stopped by anybody – not even anybody from the Genius society.

Okay, and we have finally reached the end of my analysis! This caps at around 4k words, so if you stuck around for this long, thank you so much. I would love to hear any of your comments, and I hope you laughed a little bit. Thank you again! This means so much to me that you read. <3

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theostrophywife · 7 months

Text

kiss with a fist | chapter six.

masterlist 💋 chapters 💋 playlist

pairing: theodore nott x reader.

song inspiration: w.i.t.c.h. - devon cole

author's note: some cute soft fluff cause i'm in a tender mood.

In all your years at Hogwarts, you could count the amount of times you’ve attended a quidditch game on one hand and you wouldn't even need to utilize all of your fingers. Needless to say, you weren’t really into the rowdiness and belligerence of sporting events, but a bargain was a bargain. You were just glad to have Luna with you. Even if it meant enduring Pansy Parkinson’s presence.

“Be nice,” Luna warned as you approached the stands.

“I won’t bite if she doesn’t,” you murmured back.

Luna nodded, knowing that it was the closest thing to an agreement she was ever going to get out of you. Despite your surliness, your friend seemed to brighten the minute she spotted Pansy. In a sea of blue and gold, the dark haired witch was the only one clad in green and silver. Your housemates kept exchanging wary glances at the Slytherin in their midst, but they were wise enough to keep their mouths shut.

You watched quietly as Pansy and Luna exchanged pleasantries. While your friend was generally a bubbly person, she seemed extra giddy as she spoke. There was something about the way that she softened that convinced you to ease up on the scowls. It must have been contagious, because Pansy actually smiled and it wasn’t a derisive sneer or a smug smirk, but a genuine smile. You didn’t even know the witch was capable of it.

Finally, she seemed to take stock of your presence. The dark haired girl jutted her chin out proudly, her aristocratic features schooled into forced neutrality. It occurred to you that Pansy probably received a similar warning to attempt decency.

“Y/N,” she said.

“Pansy,” you replied.

The two of you eyed each other. Sizing up your opponent. The eagle versus the snake, claws against teeth. The staredown was purely psychological warfare.

You squinted. Hurt her and I’ll maim you.

The silent warning didn’t seem to offend Pansy. Instead, she gave a subtle nod of her chin and made way for you and Luna to sit. You settled in, trying not to peer down at the drop. Heights had never really been your thing.

Pansy observed you curiously as Luna patted your arm. “Y/N’s not a big fan of heights.”

“Oh?” Parkinson asked.

“I generally prefer solid ground. It reduces the chances of me falling and breaking my neck.” The corner of Pansy’s mouth quirked. “What about you, Parkinson? Are you keen on flying?”

“A bit.”

Luna brightened. “She’s being modest. Pansy here is a very talented flyer. She’s got an Abraxan named Circe.”

“The most powerful witch to ever live,” you noted. “She used to turn men into swine.”

“A lost art, really.”

You smirked. “The classic femme fatale. A personification of the dangers of femininity. They always paint powerful women in a terrible light, don’t they?”

“Perhaps it makes the men feel better about their own inadequacies.”

“We’re always making men feel better about their inadequacies,” you answered thoughtfully. “Convenient that the myths fail to mention that Circe was one of the first pharmakis. Modern magic would not be what it is without her extensive knowledge of herbs and plants and yet she’s rarely credited in any potions books we read.”

Pansy nodded, eyeing you in amusement. “I can see why Nott has taken a liking to you.”

You turned to Luna who immediately shook her head. Pansy laughed. “Don’t worry, Lovegood didn’t tell me a thing. She didn’t have to. Theodore never stops talking about you, you know.”

There was no hiding the flush that crept up to your cheeks. “We’re both vying for the top spot in Slughorn’s class. I assume he has a lot to say about his competition.”

“It’s more than that,” Pansy said. “I’ve known Theodore since birth and I’ve never seen him put this much effort into anything. He’s always been naturally talented at potions, given his mum’s background, but you challenge him. For the first time in a long time, he’s found someone who’s actually up to par. I, for one, enjoy watching you put him in his place.”

You smiled. “I quite enjoy it too.”

Luna looked at you, then at Pansy before a huge grin graced her lips. It was obvious that she was pleased at the sight of her best friend and her…potential more-than-friend getting along.

The game started not long after. Your comprehension of the rules were rudimentary at best, but Luna made sure to explain as best as she could. From what you gathered, there were four positions: seeker, beater, chaser, and keeper. The chasers attempted to score as many goals as they could by throwing the quaffle through the posts, which the keepers guarded. The beaters used the bludgers to disrupt the other players. The seeker, on the other hand, needed to catch the golden snitch. All while floating on a broom hundreds of feet in the air.

This match, Pansy explained, had been anticipated to be the most brutal of the season. The enmity between the Gryffindors and the Slytherins translated very clearly on the field. While there had always been a divide of support between the other houses, you could tell that the majority of the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff stands were cheering for the Gryffindors.

You wondered how that made the Slytherins feel. Three houses against one. After the war, Hogwarts and the Ministry of Magic droned on and on about the importance of unity and reconciliation. Professor Slughorn even delivered a speech during your first potions class, but the disparity between words and actions were painfully obvious.

The rest of the school still mistrusted the Slytherins. If any of them cared, you wouldn’t have been able to tell. Especially not as they played. The quidditch team was deadly. You watched as green and silver robes whizzed past, familiar names sprawled on the jerseys. Malfoy, Zabini, Riddle, Berkshire, Warrington, Rosier, and Nott.

Theo winked as he flew past your portion of the stands. You rolled your eyes, but held your breath as he careened towards one of the goal posts. Ron Weasley stood guard, squinting suspiciously at Theo. The flash of the quaffle was too fast for your eyes to follow, but it sliced the air all the same, slipping through an opening above Ron’s shoulder. The redhead cursed as Theo gave him a mocking bow.

Pansy was the lone witch in your section to cheer for the Slytherins. Luna joined her in solidarity when the crowd grew quiet. Suspicious glances were cast in your direction, which you rebuffed with a menacing glare. They all found something else to look at rather quickly.

Displeasure rippled over the crowd as the Slytherins kept scoring. Theo was an unstoppable force. Warrington and Riddle flanked him at each side, throwing bludgers at anyone who attempted to thwart his efforts. The other two chasers, Berkshire and Zabini, circled around them in an aerial formation that confused the opposing team. The Gryffindors grew increasingly frustrated when Evangeline Rosier kept rebuffing their attempts to score.

Both teams played well, but the Slytherins were ruthless, tactical, and efficient. They used the opposing team’s weaknesses against them. The Gryffindors tended to be over reactive and Theo used it to his advantage. He baited them into making rash plays, which left openings for him and the other chasers to exploit.

By the end of the game, it was Berkshire who scored the winning goal. The discrepancy between the cheers and booing was insurmountable, but Pansy didn’t seem to care. She cheered for the team louder than anyone. As the win was formally announced, you heard murmurs coming from below you.

“Stupid Death Eater bitch.”

From the corner of your eye, you saw Pansy tense. Luna’s mouth hung agape as she wheeled around to identify the foul mouthed culprit. You were quicker.

“What did you just say?” you asked in a deathly quiet voice.

The conversations around you stopped as you faced Romilda Vane. The smug faced witch crossed her arms, her scarlet and gold scarf billowing in the wind as she looked up at the three of you.

“You heard me,” Romilda said in a haughty voice. “Her father was one of the Dark Lord’s staunchest supporters. As were the Malfoys and Notts. Not to mention Riddle. How he was allowed back at school is a mystery to me. They should all be in Azkaban.”

Your ears began to ring. The crowd parted as you descended the bleachers, bringing you face to face with Romilda. “I wasn’t aware that you’d recently earned a place in the Wizengamot. For all your prattling, you’d think you were the Chief Warlock.”

She cowered under your glare, but doubled down as she looked towards her friends. “I’m only saying what everyone else is thinking. As far as I’m concerned, the Slytherins should be punished for their crimes.”

“I hardly think you’re speaking from any moral high ground, Romilda. Didn’t you try to dose Potter with Amortentia in sixth year?”

Romilda reddened as she sputtered nonsense. The students around you snickered, but all you could hear was the rush of blood in your ears. You clenched your fists so tightly that your nails dug painfully into your palms. If you hadn’t, you might’ve punched that stupid smirk right off of her face.

But you knew that physical violence was not the answer. There were far more strategic ways to land a blow and you were an expert in this type of warfare.

“I suppose Harry’s lucky that your potion making is about as incompetent as your critical thinking skills. Now move before I make you.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing getting tangled up with all those snakes. They’ll sink their teeth into your back the second you turn it.”

“One of them is worth ten of you. At least the Slytherins fought to defend the castle instead of running off like a coward. They may have teeth, but at least they know how to use them. You’re all roar and no bite.”

“You’re a bitch, Y/N.”

You reared back, baring your teeth. “Oh you have no idea, Vane. But I’d be glad to demonstrate.”

Romilda held her ground. For a split second, you weighed the consequences of harming a fellow student versus the satisfaction of pummeling Romilda to the ground. Luckily for the idiotic Gryffindor, Luna gently gripped you by the elbow.

“It’s not worth it, Y/N.”

You looked at your friend who wore an expression of concern. Beside her, Pansy didn’t say a word. She was utterly silent, almost resigned like she encountered this treatment on a daily basis. We all pay the price, Theo had said.

Without another word, you nodded and bulldozed through Romilda as you exited the stands. It was only when the three of you reached the ground when you finally realized that you were shaking from anger.

“Are you alright, Pans?” Luna asked, clasping Parkinson’s hand.

Pansy shrugged. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, Luna. If I let the opinion of an airheaded twat affect my day, I’d never have a good one again.”

“Are you sure—” Luna fretted.

Pansy smiled gently and squeezed her hand in assurance. “Truly, I’m alright. The only thing upsetting me at the moment is that I’ve left my scarf up there running from those hags. Would you mind getting it for me, Lu?”

Your friend still looked worried, but she nodded and made the trek back up. You and Pansy stood in silence, watching as the last of the crowd trickled out of the stands.

“Vane had no right to say that,” you said. It came out harsher than you expected.

“At least she had the gall to say it to my face,” Parkinson stated with a shrug. “I don’t know if that makes her brave or stupid.”

“Gryffindors often have trouble making the distinction.”

The dark haired witch laughed. “You didn’t have to do that, you know. As moronic as she is, Vane is right. She was only voicing the opinion of the masses."

“But you fought in the final battle. I saw you rallying the others against the Death Eaters. Romilda wasn’t even there. She didn’t even fight.”

Pansy sighed. “A lot of good that did. I had to watch my friends duel against their own parents and yet this entire school still mistrusts us. I suppose I can’t blame them. The majority of the Dark Lord’s followers were produced by our house.”

“Not all Slytherins are bad. The world isn’t so black and white,” you said adamantly. “Most of us operate in the gray areas, whether we admit it or not. The only difference is that you lot don’t try to hide it.”

“Yes, but a snake is a snake. Even when we shed our skin, they still see deception when they look at us.”

“And you’re willing to just accept that?”

Parkinson gave you a pointed look. What choice did she have? What choice did any of them have?

After a beat of silence, you cleared your throat. “Are you sure you’re alright? Luna’s worried.”

“I assure you, being villainized isn’t anything new to me. I suppose that’s why I named my horse after Circe," Pansy mused thoughtfully. "It’s better for them to believe that I’m some sort of evil sorceress than to realize that I am more shackled by my circumstances than I could ever be at Azkaban. My family name is a collar around my neck, waiting to choke me at any moment, but they’re so blinded by their own misconceptions that all they see are my teeth. I prefer it that way.”

“Oderint dum metuant.”

"Let them hate, as long as they fear." A faint smile bloomed on Pansy’s lips. "That’s awfully Slytherin of you to say. Are you sure you’re in the right house, Y/N?”

You chuckled. A beat of silence followed as understanding passed between you. Perhaps you had more in common with Pansy Parkinson than you thought.

When Luna returned, the two of them tried to convince you to join them at the common room party, but you declined. You weren’t really in the mood to be around people.

“You two go ahead. I’ll catch up later.”

As the sun set over the school grounds, you found yourself at the Black Lake. Dusk tinged the horizon with pink and purple and the fluffy white clouds hung low enough to kiss the dark water. You settled at the end of the dock and dipped your toes into the lake, watching as the motion made ripples across the surface. Maybe it was unwise to linger here given that the lake was home to the merpeople and the giant squid, but they would be far in the depths and you were honestly too knackered to care.

Sighing, you pulled out a silver flask from your robes. You had initially brought it for the after party, but it would’ve been a shame to let the firewhisky go to waste.

“Illegal contraband?” A familiar voice teased just as the wood gave way beside you. Theo bumped his shoulder against yours as he sat. “I didn’t know you had it in you, Y/N.”

“Yeah, well maybe your idiotic tendencies are rubbing off on me.”

“I’d like to rub more than just my tendencies on you.”

You rolled your eyes and handed him the flask. “Just fucking drink, Theodore.”

He grinned before taking a swig. You chuckled at the face he made from the burn of the Ogden’s. “That is straight up liquor," Theo remarked through his coughing fit. "You're out of control, diavolina. Should I be concerned?”

“We’re celebrating,” you said. “At least you should be. That was quite a win out there. I didn’t expect you to be so….efficient.”

“Careful, Y/N. That was almost a compliment.”

You shrugged. “To be fair, I haven’t been to a game in years. You could’ve been absolutely rubbish and I’d still think it was a feat that you managed to stay seated on that broom.”

“Well, it is a pretty important component of quidditch. Did you at least attempt to enjoy yourself?”

“It was a brutal game. There’s a lot more strategy and planning that goes into quidditch than I initially thought. It’s like chess, but you’re allowed to hit people. I had a blast.”

Theo chuckled. “I should’ve known you’d get a kick out of all that violence.”

Warmth spread through your body as you took another swig. “Shouldn’t you be celebrating your win at the party?”

His fingers brushed yours as you handed the flask back to him. “I’m where I want to be.”

This time, you weren’t sure if it was the firewhisky or Theo’s presence making you flush. The two of you kept drinking in silence as you peered up at the sky. Back home in London, you never would’ve been able to see the stars this clearly. They glittered in the night sky like tiny diamonds etched through the darkness.

“I heard about what happened earlier,” Theo said after a moment.

You weren’t surprised. Word traveled fast around this school. “Luna told you?”

“No. Pansy did.” He shifted, turning over to look at you. Like a moth drawn to a flame, you did too. “You did a good thing, Y/N. You stood up for Pansy. I can’t thank you enough.”

“I was only doing what anyone else would’ve done.”

“No. You weren’t.” Theo set the flask down. “No one else would’ve come to her defense. Pansy, she’s the strongest one out of all of us. Draco, Mattheo, and I, we can always resort to punches when we’re insulted, but Pansy doesn’t have that option. She just has to sit there and take it. It means a lot that someone spoke up for her.”

“I did the bare minimum.”

“It still meant a lot.”

“There’s no need to thank me for—”

Theo sighed in exasperation. “For Salazar’s sake, will you just take my gratitude without arguing?”

You bit back a smile. “Fine. I acknowledge your gratitude.”

You downed the rest of the flask as Theo lit a cigarette. The flame from that curious Zippo flickered in the darkness as smoke filled the air.

“So,” Theo started, taking a deep inhale. “Are you ready for the slug club dinner next week? I’m not even invited to the bloody thing and yet I still know every detail thanks to McLaggen’s incessant prattling. What a twat.”

“Cormac is kind of a twat, isn’t he?” you asked, giggling as the alcohol started taking its effect. “I heard that he kisses like a fork tongued lizard.”

Theo’s eyes flashed. “You better not know that firsthand.”

You wrinkled your nose. “I wouldn’t go near McLaggen’s mouth with a ten foot broom.”

“Good. I can rest easy that you won’t be replacing me with a reptilian snogger.”

“You can rest easy either way. I’m not going to that dinner.”

Theo paused, the cigarette hanging haphazardly from between his lips. “What do you mean you’re not going?”

“It’s a pretty straightforward sentence, Nott. I will not be attending Professor Slughorn’s ridiculous dinner.”

“You have to go,” he declared firmly.

“I’m confused. Do you want me to snog the lizard or not?”

Theo frowned. “Do not snog McLaggen unless you want me to turn him into an actual reptile.” He exhaled and smoke curled around his lips. “You can’t miss that dinner.”

“I have no interest in attending.”

He stared at you, his gaze fixed with determination. “Is this about what Slughorn said the other day?”

You picked at your fingers, avoiding his eyes. “It’s probably going to be boring, anyways. Just a pissing contest for us to compare our grades and achievements like we’re puppets on a string.”

“You should still go.”

“Why?” you asked, a bit irritated that Theo was pushing for this so hard. You would’ve thought that he of all people would understand your choice. “Why would I subject myself to be part of something that judges people based on prejudice rather than merit?”

Theo’s expression softened. “Because it’ll raise your chances of joining the Most Extraordinary Society of Potioneers. That’s your dream, isn’t it?”

You reeled back in surprise. “How do you know about that?”

He rolled his eyes. “You only talk about it a thousand times a day.” Theo raised his brow in challenge. “Slughorn’s one of the most influential members. If you go to the dinner, it might solidify a formal invitation.”

Theo was right. You didn’t want him to be, but he was right. Under any other circumstance, you would’ve sabotaged and plotted and schemed for a way in. This was an opportunity to distinguish yourself from your fellow classmates, so why were you hesitating?

You knew why. You were looking right at him.

“I’ll drag you there myself if I have to,” Theo declared.

You sighed. There was no way he was going to let this go. “Fine, I’ll think about it.”

Theo smiled triumphantly. You kicked at the water, sending a wave across the still lake. “You know, if Slughorn knew that you were a Marchesi, he’d probably fall all over himself to recruit you. Hell, anyone would. You’re practically guaranteed a place at the Society, too.”

Theo shrugged nonchalantly. “Where would the fun be in that?”

“I’m serious, Nott. It could open up doors for you.”

He sighed. “That’s exactly why I’ve kept the knowledge to myself. I’m tired of everyone judging me based on my family, good or bad. I want to accomplish something that’s solely mine. Not Nott, not Marchesi. Just Theo.”

“That’s uncharacteristically noble of you.”

“I told you, I’m not just a pretty face. I’m also rich, witty, intelligent, athletic, etc. Honestly, the list goes on and on.”

You snorted. “Just don’t expect humble to be part of that little myriad, Theo.”

Theo paused. The moment of silence swelled between you like an errant wave. Then, a huge smile broke out on his face.

“What?” you asked.

“You called me Theo.”

“Well, that is your name. Has quidditch concussed you so severely that you’ve forgotten?

He responded with an eye roll. “I’m perfectly lucid, thank you very much. Well, besides the firewhisky. I’m a little bit sloshed from that, but not sloshed enough to not notice you call me by my actual name. Not Theodore, not Nott, not twat, not oh god—”

“I get it, Theo.”

His grin grew wider. “There it is again. Theo.”

“It’s just a name, nothing special.”

“It is when you’re the one saying it.”

“Oh, shut up.”

The satisfied smirk on his face refused to budge even as the sky grew darker. The two of you sprawled out on the dock, staring up at the sky and enjoying the comfortable silence. Theo toyed with his lighter, rubbing his thumb over the spark wheel, which caused the flame to flicker on and off.

You stared at the lighter, vision blurring from the alcohol. “Why do you have that thing?”

“I told you, Mattheo’s a little thief.”

“No, I mean I know the reason. But I just can’t figure out why.”

Theo scrunched his brows in confusion. “Are you sure you’re not the one concussed?”

“Would a concussed person be able to do this?”

You propped yourself up on your elbows and slightly flipped to the side. The action made your hair come loose.

“What in Merlin’s name am I supposed to be looking at right now?”

“I’m obviously doing a cartwheel,” you deadpanned. “Aren’t I?”

Theo chuckled. “You are one drunk witch, Y/N.”

“M’not drunk.” He raised a brow. “Fine, maybe I’m a tiny bit bevved, but you’re the one avoiding my question.”

“Sorry,” Theo said rather unapologetically. “I’m a bit distracted at the moment.”

“By what?”

“Your hair,” he murmured softly. Theo reached out and toyed with a loose strand, twisting a long lock between his fingers. He swallowed thickly, his voice lower and huskier than it was a minute ago. “You should wear it down more often.”

“It’s a hassle.”

He swept it over your shoulder, knuckles brushing your cheek. “It’s beautiful.”

Your cheeks warmed. Whether from the alcohol or his touch, you couldn’t differentiate. “Stop deflecting, Nott.”

Theo rolled his eyes. “Relentless witch. Can’t you see I’m trying to have a moment here?”

You gave him a pointed look. Theo sighed before handing over his lighter. Up close, you could see that the silver was worn and dented. It looked much older than you initially thought. To your surprise, Theo silently waved his wand and the lighter transformed into a heart shaped locket.

“When my nonna gave me the grimoire, it came with this. It was Alessandra’s old locket. She treasured it more than the grimoire itself.”

“What’s so special about it?”

“Open it.”

Your fingers stilled. “Are you sure?”

“Don’t get shy now, diavolina. You wanted to know and now I’m telling you.”

You hesitated for a moment before curiosity got the best of you. The locket popped open easily. Inside was a picture of a dark haired woman standing next to a man with watercolor eyes and thick brown curls. The couple looked at each other with love and adoration in their eyes.

“That’s Alessandra, obviously. The man was Damiano, her closest friend, the mad scientist of the village, and the cleverest muggle she’d ever met. He helped author the grimoire.”

“I never knew that Alessandra had help with her inventions.”

Theo nodded. “As my family intended. They didn’t approve of her relationship with Damiano, but she didn’t care. They fell madly in love and eventually married.”

“How is it possible that no one knew about him?”

“Damiano was born with a unique illness that was incurable even with magic. Alessandra poured years of her life into finding a cure, but in the end he succumbed to it. She passed away only a year after him. My nonna said that she died of a broken heart.” Theo took the chain and traced his fingers over the picture. “They left behind two young children who were eventually raised by Alessandra’s parents. Their son and daughter grew up not knowing who their father was. The Marchesis did everything in their power to keep the knowledge to themselves. They didn’t want anyone to know that their great bloodline was tainted by a muggle.”

Theo bowed his head in shame. He avoided your gaze, choosing to look out at the Black Lake instead. “There it is. The secret that my family has guarded for centuries. The sad part is that some of them still hold those bigoted beliefs, so when people assume the worst of me, I can’t blame them. The Marchesis, the Notts, either way you look at it, there’s bad blood coursing through my veins.”

“That’s not true, Theo,” you said softly. “You know I don’t think that of you, right?”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did. Everyone else does.”

“Well, I don’t,” you said firmly. “You said it earlier. Family isn’t all that a person amounts to. When I look at you, I don’t see a Nott or a Marchesi. I just see Theo.”

“I don’t deserve that,” he whispered. The saddest part was that you were sure he meant it. “My great great great grandmother fell in love with a muggle and how did my family repay her for it? They blotted him out of existence.”

The starlight caressed his forlorn expression with its silver glow, painting a heartbreaking depiction of Theo that you had never seen before. It reminded you of that day in the potions lab when he was talking about his mother. There was such an openness and vulnerability in him then that was present now as well and you realized why he looked at you the way he did that day.

Theo hadn’t been waiting for you to give him an out. He wanted—no, he needed a friend and you had been too scared to step up then, but you weren’t now. You could be that for him. You wanted to be that for him. A friend.

Without second guessing yourself, you reached out in the space between you and grabbed hold of his hand. Theo stared at your intertwined fingers in surprise.

“The love between Damiano and Alessandra lives on,” you said with a small smile. “In their children and their children’s children. In…you.”

Those watercolor eyes, the very same ones that you had grown so familiar with shone with emotion. Unlike the day in the lab, Theo didn’t put up his mask of cockiness and arrogance and you realized with a start that you didn’t want him to.

He smiled and squeezed your hand gently. “Yes, I suppose I inherited Damiano’s affinity for cruel, brilliant witches.”

"Affinity is putting it lightly," you said teasingly. "Admit it. You're obsessed with me, Nott."

You blinked as Theo hovered over you. The weight of his body pressed against yours ignited a flame of fiendfyre in your core. He dipped his head down, his curls tickling your nose. "No, not Nott. Not Theodore. Try that again, diavolina."

You wriggled underneath him, but Theo held your hips in place. He brushed his lips against yours and smirked when you tried to kiss him. His low rumble of laughter sent shivers down your spine. "Say it. Say my name again."

"If I say it, will you stop being a tease?"

Theo kissed your neck and laughed when you pouted in response. "Only one way to find out."

"I'll knee you in the crotch if you do that again, Theo."

He grinned. "There's a good girl," Theo said rather suggestively. You fought the urge to squirm at his words. He peppered kisses along your neck, your jaw, and your cheeks while you burst into a fit of drunken giggles. "For the record, I am obsessed with you, but I think you're a little bit obsessed with me too."

"You wish, Theo."

"You're going to be the death of me," he said huskily as he unbuttoned your cardigan. Theo's eyes were full of mischief as he dipped between your breasts, sucking on your flesh and leaving marks in his wake. "But I'm willing to die a happy man, Y/N."

Taglist: @annaisabookworm@marina468@yaraasthings @the0doreslover@bubybubsters@moony-artemis @natasha887@lucyysthings@criesinlies @bunnymallowo@niktwazny303 @letmedownslows @siriuslyalovergirl@wordsarelife@clairesjointshurt @daydreamingabthar @mishtay @cherry-hoe @littlebookbengal @maybefoxysouls @nomup @aliensknowmyillusions @cinderellawithashoe @starsval @kalulakunundrum @lucyysthings @siriuslysmoking @purplegirls-posts @unstablereader @lqclercs @whatsupb18 @rikirritated @psychedeliccc @jetblackpayne @clairesjointshurt @ama1a2 @omwtkydttfym @cinderellawithashoe @xeqr @txzii @goldenmagnolias @ilikefictionalmen @xxpeachyxo @dirt-cup-draco @willowecho25518 @shulipp @pompeygirl89 @lame-ferrum @dustbunniess @justdizzie @sopsopsopy

Please let me know if you'd like to be added.

#i am writing this from the grave because the new pics of lorenzo at the movie premiere has k*lled me #theo nott #theo nott fic #theo nott smut #theo nott x reader #theo nott x y/n #theo nott x you #theo nott imagine #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x you #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott smut #theodore nott imagine

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royallyprincesslilly · 3 months

Text

Lewis Hamilton Masterlist

Here is my long-awaited and asked-for masterlist for all my Lewis Hamilton fics thus far. As a warning, there is a HELL OF A LOT here. WOW, and I am sure there will be a hell of a lot more to be added.

Thank you ALL for reading, liking, and reblogging. I appreciate the reception and the love more than you know. ❤️

✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*✧*.。:。✧*.:。

Things To Know:

-I'm Lilly you may call me that or Lee.

-There is a psychologically proven link between content interaction and content creation. Simply, the more interaction with something (content) or someone, the more content is produced. {Wink, Wink}

-If you are sensitive to angst or erotica this may be an uncomfortable, high blood pressure-inducing, hedonistic place for you. LOL.

-Pay attention to my warnings section.

-My content is meant for individuals 18 and older. If you are under 18 please DO NOT INTERACT.

-Do NOT reproduce, or translate any of my work on any platform. I do not consent to that. Also, DO NOT steal what I write. That's an a$$hole thing to do.

-YOU are responsible for managing what content you consume. NOT ME. Heed warnings that open the stories.

✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*✧*.

Content Meter:

*Mentions of NSFW content. Not explicit or even detailed.

**Half of the work is NSFW and recommended to be read at YOUR discretion. Can be explicit and/or detailed.

***Most of the work is NSFW. Don't read this at work, or around others you might feel embarrassed with them knowing you're freaky. Very detailed, and very explicit.

****Pure Filth. Don't read this anywhere not private unless you can handle the consequences. All the details, no limits on explicit content. This is NOT "wham, bam thank you, ma'am". There is work being put in!

✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*✧*.

Oh, one more thing! Did you know, I take commissions? I do! So have something you want just for you? Send a DM and let's talk about it!

One last thing! My writing takes time, care, energy, and an endless well of creativity. It's as fun for me to write it as it is for you to read it. So, if would like to show your monetary support, appreciation, and or like for me and what I create here, check out my Ko-Fi and CashApp links in my bio.

Thank you in advance for the love. ❤️❤️

✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*✧*.

Series/Mini-Series

-If This Is Love Mini-Series {COMPLETED}

Lewis Hamilton x Mercedes Owner Daughter Reader

Title: If This Is Love--

Summary: Against your better judgement, you allowed Lewis to woo you. For 10 months he chased you with more determination than a starving wolf. You finally gave in and found happiness and what you thought was love. Thought is the operative word as you stare at the pictures from his week in Antarctica, pictures that show you definitely had been made a fool of.

{1}-If This Is Love, I Don't Want It | {2}-If This Is Love, You Need To Prove It | {3}-If This Is Love, You Need To Mean It | {4}-If This Is Love, You Gotta Ride For Me | {5}-If This Is Love, It’s Forever

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-A Long Time Coming Mini-Series {COMPLETED}

Lewis Hamilton x Best Friend Reader

Title: A Long Time Coming

Summary: After a long, grueling and stressful 2023 season where Lewis dominated and showed the world once again why he was the best at what he does. He walks away with his 8th championship title and plans with his closest and bestest for some much-needed R&R.

{1} | {2}* | {3}***

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-What We Did In The Dark Series {ONGOING}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Title: What We Did In The Dark

Summary: Neither of you planned any of it. You’d met by chance, and everything that happened after had to have been predestined. There was no way blazing passion like what was between you was something coincidental.

{1}**** | {2}* | {3} | {4} | {5}....(Coming Soon)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-3P Series {ONGOING}

Lewis Hamilton x Famous Singer Reader x Aaron Pierre

Title: 3P

Summary:“Sharing is caring”, “The more the merrier”, “Love knows no bounds”. There are so many quotes that circulate that can be tied to love and relationships. Two of the many you like happens to be “Two is better than one” and “The more the merrier”. Now it wasn’t like you particularly and purposely went out your way to collect men. That wasn’t the case at all. It’s just that there were two gorgeous faces in the sea of bodies at Coachella that you couldn’t decide which you wanted more. So you decided why choose. That was 4 months ago and now everything was much more complicated than you’d ever intended.

{1} | {2}...(Coming Soon)

{More To Come...}

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One,Two, & Three Shots

-Trauma: Hysteria | Trauma 2: (Coming Soon)

-Wasted Time | Wasted Love | Wasted 3: (Coming Soon)

-Forever Mine***

-She Calls Me Daddy Now***

-Everybody Else Is No. 2***

-You First***

-Message My Heart

-Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You**

-Stake My Claim*

-Plus Baby Makes Three**

-Love Will Remember***

-Thirsty Or Parched**

-Just Do It

-One Night****

-True Peace***

-Book Trap {Social Media Collection}**

-Lil' Love*

-4am Drunk Calls**

-Show Me**

-Ion't Even Need 7 Minutes***

-Taste The Rainbow***

-Forever & Ever & Ever & Ever--But Not Right Now**

-Morning Voice {Headcannon}**

-1, 2, 3 {SongFic}***

-It'll Be Fun They Said {Social Media AU}

-Trick Or Treat {Headcannon}

-Forgive Me, I Am A Sinner {Any Celeb}** | No Saints Here...(Coming Soon)

-Going Once, Going Twice (Coming Soon)

-Once Bitten | Twice Shy | Thrice My Lady... (Coming Soon)

-Distraction... (Coming Soon)

-Unruly.... (Coming Soon)

-Slip Of The Tongue.... (Coming Soon)

-Do That Again.... (Coming Soon)

-R&R.... (Coming Soon)

-You Make Me Want.... (Coming Soon)

-Grown Folks Thangs... (Coming Soon)

-Truth Is.... (Coming Soon)

-Behind The Mask | Behind Closed Doors | Underneath Your Clothes | Behind The Name.... (Coming Soon)

-When It Hits Hard.... (Coming Soon)

-Lil' Princess.... (Coming Soon)

✧*.。:。✧*.:。✧*✧*.

#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fanfiction #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton angst #lewis hamilton x black reader #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton blurb #lewis hamilton masterlist #masterlist

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brummiereader · 10 months

Text

PREVIOUS PART

Killing Me Softly (PART FOUR/ DARK!TOMMY)

Summary: Tommy has an unexpected gift for you, but your strong wilfulness turns the joyful moment into one of punishment. Are Tommy's cruel games becoming too much? How much more can you withstand?

Warnings: Language, angst, fluff, psychological mind games, manipulative behaviour, infidelity, psychological abuse, Dark!Tommy (this is a dark fic, please read the warnings before continuing)

"Before we leave for the Garrison there's something I want to show you" Tommy said as he entered the study, a cigarette hanging from his mouth as he leaned against the door frame, watching the pen in your hand move along the piece of paper in front of you.

" I'm coming" you quickly replied as you walked over to where he was standing.

"Who's that for?" Tommy asked scrunching his brows together as he looked down at the envelope between your fingers.

" My mother" you replied nervously as you watched his eyes dart back up to yours.

" Give it to me and I'll put it with my mail" he said with his hand out, waiting for you to comply.

" Tommy I haven't seen her in a month, it's just a letter asking how she is, it's her birthday soon" you answered, reluctant to hand it over.

" Then you'll want it sent to her quickly " he replied, his eyes staring down at you. Nodding you handed him the letter, your fingers tucking a lock of hair behind your ear as you walked out of the study into the foyer.

" I'll see that it gets to her" Tommy called out ripping it in half, disdain on his face as he threw it into a nearby bin.

" Where are we going?" you asked as Tommy caught up to you, his hand resting on your lower back as he guided you outside.

" You'll see" he replied, a small smile forming on his lips as you both walked out into the mid-day sun. What did he have planned for you now? You anxiously thought to yourself as you made your way to the stables. It had been nearly a month since your wedding and you was constantly walking on eggshells around your new husband, your confession of hate only making the tension worse. You knew you had angered him with your harsh words that night he had you pushed up against the wall, the night darkness over took his once crystal blue eyes.

"I have a little surprise for you" he said letting go of your back as you both walked into the barn. " I always see you looking out at the horses in the fields. I think it's about time you had one of your own" he added as he walked into the middle of the building, a stable boy waiting with a white horse beside him. " Harry" he nodded to the young boy as he took the rope from him. "Come here love" Tommy said reaching his hand out for you, a smile on his face. Walking forward you was taken aback by the pure beauty of the creature in front of you, Tommy's black stallion going wild in the stall next to her. " Think he likes her" Tommy chuckled as he looked over to his horse pacing back and forth.

" Who wouldn't, she's beautiful Tommy" you said looking at the majestic white mare staring back at you.

"That she is " he replied looking at you as he patted down the horse.

" She's really mine?" you asked, the corners of your eyes creasing as a smile formed on your lips.

" She is"

" But why?" You asked confused at his unexpected show of affection.

" Can a man not buy his wife a gift?" Tommy laughed, his hand moving next to yours as you both stroked down her soft white mane. " Look, we haven't gotten off to a great start Y/N, I'm trying to make it up to you, I'm..." Tommy stopped interrupted by his stallion kicking the door of his stall, trying to get out. " Will you calm him the fuck down!" Tommy snapped turning to the stable boy as you flinched at his small outburst. "...I'm trying to do better, do you not want this to work Y/N?" he finished, his hand now resting on your cheek as he looked into your eyes, searching for a glimmer of hope.

You was reluctant to say anything, your thoughts too busy spinning in your head at his sudden confession of regret. Looking up at your husband his expression caught you off guard, there was no darkness or mischief dancing behind his eyes but instead softness, he looked...remorseful. Was he wearing one of the many masks he possessed or was this a genuine show of guilt? Maybe the sweet boy from Watery Lane was still in there, you wishfully hoped as you looked deep into his eyes. You was desperate for this marriage to work, what would the future hold for you and your mother if it didn't? There was still a part of you that wanted him, that silly teen crush creeping up on you when he would give you that look, the look he was giving you right now, drawing you in, comforting you, making your heart skip a beat. Why couldn't you show him the affection he so desperately yearned from you, you're his wife, would it not be cruel to deny him of that? Turning to face him, you brought your hand up to his as you slowly nodded your head.

" Is that a yes? he confirmed, his other hand coming up to cup your cheek.

"Yes"' you said smiling to him as he brought you into his chest, holding you against his body as his strong arms wrapped around you. Could this finally be it, the turning point in your relationship?

"So what you gonna name her?" Tommy said letting going of you, his thumb brushing down your cheek as he smiled to you.

" I don't know" you said looking back to the horse standing beside you.

" How about Nova?"

" Nova?"

"New. A new start" he said winking to you as he stroked the muzzle of your horse.

" Ok, Nova it is" you smiled, looking up into your husband's eyes, a wave of relief washing over you at his willingness to start again.

" Right, you gonna get on her then, go for a ride?" He said as he helped you up into the saddle.

" Tommy I know how to ride" you chuckled, smiling down to your husband as he was about to get up to sit behind you.

" She's a new horse love, it's best I ride with you"

" Tommy I'll be ok, she seems pretty docile, plus she needs to get used to me alone" you replied, too distracted by your new horse to see the quick change of expression on Tommy's face.

" Right" he said bluntly as he watched you leave the stables, his posture stiffening as he rolled his shoulders, the darkness rising in him once again, unable to keep it down. Why must you always push him away, always challenge him? Tommy thought to himself as he watched you leave the stables. You needed to be taught a lesson he justified as he threw his cigarette onto the ground beside him, storming out of the barn as the young boy followed behind.

"When was she broken in Harry?" You asked looking behind you as you scratched the side of Nova's neck.

"Six months ago Mam" he answered as Tommy approached the horse, his hands caressing along her back as he pressed his body against the saddle, unfastening one of the buckles.

"Go back to work Harry" Tommy said, cocking an eyebrow as he noticed the stable boy watching him in the corner of his eye.

"Mr Shelby, the sadl.."

" Now" Tommy said sternly, cutting the young boy off as he glared at him.

" Go on then sweetheart, off you go" your husband said as he patted the side of the horse.

Leaning against the fence Tommy placed a cigarette in his mouth as he squinted through the sunlight, watching you in the distance as you rode the horse he had just gifted you.

" She's so easy to ride" you called out happily as you trotted along the path.

" Maybe you should go faster" Tommy said sarcastically under his breath as he lit the cigarette in his mouth, cupping the flame from the wind while he watched his sadistic plan being played out.

" Slow down Y/N you might just fall off" he smirked as he exhaled the tobacco sitting in his mouth.

Picking up the pace your horse started to gallop to one of the jumps in front of you. It was only small and you felt confident enough to do it. Bracing yourself you approached the jump as Tommy watched on, standing up straight away from the fence as his eyes narrowed in at the saddle wrapped around the horse. Before Nova's hind legs could even hit the ground the saddle slipped to the side sending you crashing to the floor as you lost your balance.

" Oops" Tommy muttered as he watched you fall to the ground, one of his hands casually sitting in his pocket as he waited for you to call out for him.

"Tommy!" you cried as your body landed on your hand, a searing pain shooting through your wrist.

" I'm sorry...I'm sorry" you sobbed holding onto your hand. " I didn't listen, Tommy I should have listened, I thought I could do it" you cried, as Tommy knelt down beside you, brushing away the hair from you face, your horse galloping off into the fields behind you.

" Come on, up you get" he said holding onto you, his lit cigarette still resting between his lips.

" Where are you hurt?"

" My hand " you sobbed looking up into his eyes.

" There?" He said as pressed his thumb harshly into your wrist, the ash from his cigarette falling onto your hand as a small smirk formed on the corner of his mouth. Wincing at the pain you looked down at your now swollen hand, the pain shooting through your wrist as Tommy checked for any broken bones.

" Not as good of rider as you think you are, eh? Tommy chuckled as he held you into his side.

" No" you replied, your tears streaming down onto his suit jacket.

"Hey look at me. You fell, it happens, it's not broken it's just a sprain, alright?" he stopped, stroking both your arms as he bent his head down trying to catch your eyes. Leaning into him you buried your face into his chest, his hold on your body comforting you as he guided you back to the main house, completely unaware of what really happened.

" Harry, let my stallion out, he'll hunt down my wife's horse" Tommy smiled a sinister look in his eyes as he turned to see the stable boy staring back at you, worry on his face as he watched you cradle your hand.

" My stubborn little wife" Tommy chuckled as he kissed your head. "You really should listen to me sweetheart, I'm only looking out for you. Come on let's get you inside" Tommy added as you both walked up to the large wooden door of your home, Tommy's hold on your tightening.

It was an hour later and Tommy had driven you both into Birmingham for a family gathering at the Garrison, the first time in a month you had been off the property. You held onto your husband tightly, still shaken up from your fall as Tommy relished in your closeness.

" Been bare knuckle boxing again Y/N?" Arthur chuckled as he pointed out your bandaged hand.

" Leave her be Arthur, she fell off her horse, she's still a bit in shock aren't you love?" He said turning to you, placing a kiss to the side of your head as you leaned in closer, wrapping your arm around his lower back, holding onto his coat.

" Argh shit, should have let Tom here sit behind you, fall off a horse could kill you" he said tipping his whiskey to you as you looked up to Tommy's eyes narrowing in on you, embarrassment spreading across your face at your stubbornness to ride alone.

"Think she's learnt her lesson Arthur. Come on darling let's get you a drink" Tommy said as he guided you to the snug near the entrance of the pub.

It had been a few hours since you arrived at the garrison, your body snuggled in close to Tommy's side as Ada and Polly smiled to eachother, watching you both blissfully content in each others company. You looked like happy newlyweds, and for the first time in nearly a month you finally felt like it. Everything that had happened over the past four weeks suddenly didn't matter anymore, you finally started to feel like Tommy's wife.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you earlier Tommy" you said looking up at your husband, doe eyed as you rested your hand on his leg. His arm still casually wrapped around your shoulder he looked down at you, a smile forming on his mouth as he leaned in gently pressing a kiss to your lips.

" Look at you two, it's making me feel sick" Ada laughed, smiling to you as she took a sip of her drink. Tommy's arm tightening around you he took a drag of his cigarette, a sense of pride flashing across his face. You were both happy, finally...but like everything with Tommy, it would be very short-lived.

" Things are ok with you two now then?" John asked as you walked back into the main area of the Garrison after freshening up in the bathroom.

" They are" you said smiling to Tommy as he winked at you from the bar.

" Maybe we will hear the sound of small feet soon" he chuckled, nudging your arm as he took a sip of his whiskey.

" We are taking it slow John, we're in no rush"

" One day though, plus you have to actually you know.." John snickered as he looked down at you.

" What are you talking about?" You asked as you watched him steady himself against one of the long beams in the middle of the pub.

"You two haven't...you know, been together yet" he said clearing his throat as he quickly looked away. The amber liquid clearly numbing his ability to think before talking.

" He said that to you?" You looked to him, embarrassment spreading across your face as your cheeks turned a crimson red.

" Ahh come on Y/N, men talk" John slurred as he sat down on one of the tables next to him, your eyes widening in humiliation. Looking over to Tommy he watched as the happy expression changed on your face. Scrunching his brow Tommy started walking over to you, his footsteps quickening as he saw the tears build in your eyes.

" You ok?" Tommy said his hand on your lower back, pulling you from your thoughts.

" Think I've landed you in it Tom" John laughed, stumbling away, leaving you both alone.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Tommy said turning you to face him.

" Tommy have you been talking to John about us, about the fact we haven't been together yet" you said tearfully, feeling like the most intimate parts of your life had been exposed without any regard to your feelings. Sighing Tommy tried to take your hand but you pulled it away, folding your arms.

" Fuck sake" he muttered under his breath as he pinched his brow. " Look I probably had one too many whiskeys, hey..look at me" he said as he turned your chin to face to him. "You're not gonna start again are you? We're in a good place, don't ruin it Y/N" he added, his impatience with you evident as his strong hold on your chin tightened.

" Leave me alone Tommy" you huffed as you pushed past him walking to the small enclosed room, lodging yourself between Ada and Arthur so Tommy couldn't sit next to you. Clenching his fist, Tommy wanted to punch the closet thing to him, his annoyance searing at your inability to let things go. Entering the snug Tommy scoffed as he looked at where you was sitting. Pulling a cigarette out his pocket he sat down staring at you as he shook his head.

" Trouble in paradise again Tom?" Arthur chuckled as he looked at his brothers frustrated expression.

" Yeh something like that" Tommy replied lighting a cigarette as he tried to make eye contact with you.

" What's going on Y/N ?" Ada whispered into your ear as she looked at her brother.

" Nothing" you replied quietly as Tommy glared at you, biting his inner cheek.

" Got something to say Y/N ?" Tommy announced, blowing a cloud of smoke in your direction.

" Argh leave her alone Tom boy. Here love have a drink, drown your worries" Arthur said as he began to pour you a glass of whiskey.

" I'm fine, thank you Arthur" you said as you looked back to your husband.

" Don't be rude Y/N, drink" Tommy said standing up slamming the glass down in front of you, the amber liquid spilling over onto the table under it. The small room suddenly went quiet as Tommy looked down at you, unbothered by his display of anger towards you in front of his family.

" Fuck sake Tommy, if she doesn't want a drink she doesn't want one" Ada said defending you as she glared at her brother.

" It's fine Ada" you said taking the glass downing it in one as you watched your husband sit back down, a smug smirk on his face as he leaned back into his chair.

" Right let's play a game of cards" Arthur announced rubbing his hands together as he tried to break the tension in the room, Tommy refusing to look or say another word to you as your eyes began to fill with tears.

Storming into the foyer of Arrow House, you made your way to the stairs, Tommy's footsteps close behind you.

" Let me guess...I'll be sleeping in the guest room tonight! " he shouted up to you as he watched the end of your dress flow behind the corner of the stairs, slamming the door of your bedroom shut. " Hey! Are you listening to me?" he bellowed again as you walked into your room throwing yourself onto the bed, the distant sound of his anger raging downstairs as you tried to muffle the sounds with a pillow to your head. Storming to his office, Tommy watched as one of the maids quickly walked past him.

" Come here" he said stopping, lighting a cigarette in his mouth." Anna, right?" He asked, breathing in the tobacco as he looked down at the young maid in front of him, squinting his eyes as he took in her features, a small resemblance to you.

" Alison, Sir" she corrected him a flirty smile playing on her lips.

" Alison" he smiled as he nodded his head to his office. "You coming ?" He asked turning around, his hand on the door knob as he waited for her to follow him. Just as Tommy was about to shut the door he let go of the handle leaving it open, a smirk forming on the corner of his lips as he looked up at the ceiling.

Pacing your room, you looked through the cupboards trying to find something anything to calm your nerves. Maybe you had overreacted? You thought to yourself as you relived the day's event in your head. You had both agreed to a new start, anything that happened before today in the past. Guilt starting to set in, you opened the door to your room as you made your way downstairs to talk to Tommy. Just as you was about to turn into the livingroom you saw the door to his office open, the light from one of the lamps beaming onto the freshly polished wooden floors in the corridor, he was still awake. You wanted to clear the air, confront him and apologise for your overreaction, but when you got to his office door you was confronted by something else. Tommy was sat in his leather chair as one of the maid's head bobbed up and down in between his legs, his hand holding on to her hair as his blank emotionless stare fixed on the wall in front of him. You felt sick, you felt jealous a whole surge of different emotions overtook you as you watched your husband's blatant show of infidelity in your own home. Opening the door wider, fury overtook your body as tears streamed down your face. Turning to face you, Tommy's eyes locked onto yours as he let out a deep moan, still holding onto the maids hair as she picked up the pace. Tommy's body suddenly stiffened, his mouth slightly agape as he let out a low groan, his hooded eyes never once leaving yours as he mouthed your name. Shaking your head in disbelief, tears burned down your cheeks as you slammed the door to his office shut. He wanted you to see it, he enjoyed the fact you did, what kind of sick game was this?

" Get out" Tommy demanded as he pulled up his suit trousers, a giggle leaving the maids lips as Tommy marched towards you.

" Y/N ! Y/N! Don't you fucking run away from me, come back here now!" He shouted as he tried to catch up to you. Running up the stairs, you pulled off one of the small paintings hanging on the wall beside you, throwing it at him as Tommy ducked down dodging it Instantly.

" You're disgusting!" you screamed at him trying to shut the door to your bedroom as Tommy pushed back against it with so much force you fell onto the floor.

" How could you do this to me?" you sobbed standing up as he silently approached you, walking you backwards to the wall.

" What did you expect sweetheart?" he said tilting his head, his face inches from yours. " My own wife won't let me near her" he fumed against the softness of your skin. " I think you lied on our wedding night Y/N" he seethed as he pushed himself against you, yours eyes panicking as you felt his strong body pressed against your chest restricting your breathing. "It's been almost a month since that night...guess there's only one way to find out" he said as he started pulling your night dress up, his other hand reaching in-between your legs.

" You wouldn't dare" you replied with clenched teeth.

" Wouldn't I?" he taunted, his hand coming to a stop just above your upper thigh as he waited for your reaction. Pushing him away with as much force as you could, you slapped him across the face, instantly regretting it as he turned to face you, his eyes darkening as he clenched his jaw.

" Oh you've down it now sweetheart..."

" Tommy I'm..I'm sorry" you stopped him as he glared at you. Leaning in, you pressed your forehead to his as you closed your eyes not daring yourself to look at the anger filling his now blackened stare.

" Please Tommy, I'm sorry" you sobbed, pleading with him as you stroked his cheek, your lips gently pressing to his.

" Why do you torment me so much Y/N, always playing games with me" he replied his head pressing against yours, as his hands cupped your cheeks, sighing as his lips ghosted against your own. " Why won't you give yourself to me, do you want to make me angry?"

" No Tommy " you said as you caressed the side of his head, afraid of what he would do next.

" Tell me you love me Y/N" he said as he pressed his face into your cheek his nose pushing against yours as his fingers trailed down your neck.

" I...I love you Tommy" you cried into his touch, as your body trembled at your confession. There was no dishonesty in your voice, you had become dependent on him, so broken down by his relentless games you had started to crave him, crave his approval, his affection...his love. Resting your head on top of his, he pressed his cheek against your chest as you gently raked your fingers through his hair, your eyes glazing over as you looked at the empty wall in front of you. The room closing in around you both, you listened as his rapid breathing slowed down, his hold on you loosening. You could live like this couldn't you? In time things would change, Tommy would finally loosen the chain he had on you, you reassured yourself as your eyes slowly closed, a tear falling onto your cheek as you breathed in the stillness of the room, the peace of quietness silencing your fears as you finally surrendered, surrendered yourself to him.

NEXT PART

Tag list: @litteltourtius @aesthetic0cherryblossom @swordofawriter @casa-boiardi @muhahaha303 @fmo166 @call-sign-shark @priyajoyy

#peaky blinders #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x y/n #peaky blinders fanfic #tommy shelby imagine #Dark!Tommy #killing me softly

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prettymeredith · 8 months

Text

Fantasy of the Day: Life as a Tickle Therapist

. "You first must understand...

...this isn't anything personal...

...this is my job. I have to do this."

I begin every session with the exact phrasing. Sometimes the words help, but at most times the already broken look in their eyes don't even waver.

You see, I don't know anything about my patients when they arrive, I strickly give them treatment. I can't even be sure that they understand English.

"I'm going to turn this on now, okay?"

Documenting each case is an essential step with my work. Viewing the replay, I can see things I may have missed while executing treatment.

The mirror to my right however, is tjere for pure psychological reasons. On playback I watch their eyes and read the reaction they have to seeing themselves tickled.

"These leather cuffs are going to buckle around your ankles...

...with a little rope, it'll make sure your feet stay nice and secured, right here...

...what I'm doing right now is called a toe-tie. It'll really help keep you from accidentally blocking out my hands...

...and lastly, a gag. The only words who are important right now, are Mine."

All of my equipment comes standard issue, and its textbook technique to explain what I'm using and what it's for. Even if they've had treatment already.

It really sparks something in them to drag out and explain this process. I can use the dreaded anticipation to work to my advantage. Just a little oil and we're off.~

"Take a breath... This is gonna tickle."

There's not a better feeling to me personally than feeling freshly sharpened nails glide along a pair of slick, sensitive soles. Every twitch, giggle, and reaction can have an important story to tell.

They say do what you love for a living and you won't ever work a day in your life. Plus it's great being your own boss; you make your own hours, and have all of the decision making.

"I've been seeing strong signals from you today that you're ready to advance into the next stage of tickling."

"I'm just going to hit pause on the camera here...

...reset the timer...

...and grab a vibrator! Be right back.~"

#tickle community #tickling #tickle blog #tickle kink #tickle #ticklish #tword community #tickles #tickled #ticklish soles #tickle fic #tickling blog

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sunshine-jesse · 6 months

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Ashley Graves Did Something Wrong

TCOAL plays a lot of fun games with the ways it makes you perceive events. From the title screen itself, to various pieces of official art, it primes you to accept certain narratives surrounding the game. Namely, the one that Ashley is very not good. She is, in fact, very bad! And it's pretty easy to see why- many of her actions fit neatly into the mold of an abuser. She's controlling, she tries to deflect blame, gaslights Andrew into making him take the blame for things she pushed him to do to begin with, and harasses other women to ruin his relationships with them.

It's all so easy, and makes so much sense. Case closed.

Right? Well, no. But actually yes! But actually, it's not that simple.

Y'see, as I said, the game establishes this framing from the get-go. It introduces us to our, uh, heroes and tells us in no uncertain terms that Ashley is bad and Andrew is a non-entity. It sets this framing intentionally so that many players will engage in a little quirk of human psychology called…

Confirmation bias!

I'm sure we all know what that is, right? Well, for those who don't, it's when we start with a bias towards something- or an idea of how things SHOULD be- and view every piece of evidence as confirmation that said bias is correct. The game, very blatantly, does this with Ashley's actions by priming us to see them as part of an abuse dynamic, with her as the primary abuser. And, indeed, it's not too hard to dig into Andrew's behavior and figure out that he, too, is fucked up and awful and come to the conclusion that their relationship was mutually fucked up and abusive. I did that in my last two essays, so I won't cover that ground again here. With this, it's easy to think that they bring out the worst in each other and that any relationship they have would be toxic, fucked up, dark, and every other word or phrase that describes the same idea, whether it makes them happy or not.

… But what if I told you that this, too, was an intentional misdirection?

So. Let us, for a moment, completely remove the framing that their relationship is toxic. Let us remove the framing that their relationship is abnormal or aberrant. Let's even remove the framing that either one of them is responsible for the harm of the other. I'm not arguing that any of this is not the case. Please, for the love of god, do not think that I am, if only so you can take the rest of what I have to say seriously. What I'm doing is trying to examine the two of them free of as many preconceptions as I can, using nothing but textual evidence and inference to figure out why Andrew and Ashley treat each other the way they do.

I will later examine why they MIStreat each other too, but first comes the reasons they treat each other well.

I'm going to start with Andrew, because, despite being the more complex of the two, it's actually pretty easy to figure out why he treats Ashley the way he does based on what he says. Let's go all the way back to the earliest known incident between the two in the story, where the two of them were at their most, uh, "pure," for lack of a better word: The cupcake scene.

Leyley was supposedly a problem child. She was neglected by her parents, disliked by her friends, and had nobody else but Andrew to rely on. She got nothing- absolutely nothing- from anyone else. And so, Andrew decided to celebrate her birthday, by buying her the cupcakes she wanted, by giving her what she lacked from others. By providing for her, and taking care of her. All he wanted was to make her happy, more than anything else. And, as Nina learned the hard way, at the expense of everyone else.

He doesn't lack empathy, per se. Andy just loves Leyley more than he loves anyone else by such a wide margin that his desire to provide for her overrides his fear of consequences… until those consequences threaten to separate the two of them.

That is a very Gender Roles thing to do. More on that later.

So. Ashley. Everyone's favorite disaster. Why does she treat Andrew the way she does? What does she provide for him? Well, isn't it obvious? She, too, wants to provide for him. Remember, she wanted the lemon cupcake because she thought it's what HE wanted. She also does most of the chores around the house. She prepares food, cleans the house, and does their laundry. She also provides for his non-sexual physical needs by offering him comfort whenever he needs it. It makes her feel useful. Wanted. Needed.

Ah, another very Gender Roles thing to do. See where I'm going with this?

The two neatly fit into a standard husband/wife relationship in a lot of ways. It's THE platonic ideal of such a relationship, actually! They make each other happy and provide WHAT THEY THINK the other really wants. It's really cute and perfect! As long as you ignore all the bad.

ignore all the bad …ignore all the bad… But we obviously shouldn't ignore all the bad. That would be ridiculous.

What I want to do is, instead, examine where the bad comes from, and why it's there. With the abuser/abused dynamic in mind, it's pretty easy to come to the conclusion that a mutual desire for control and power over the other is the sole determining factor. It's arguably the Central Theme of the game, and maybe a big part of what Nemlei is trying to convey. But, like, why should it end there? Why should that be where the analysis ends? There's a reason for everything.

They don't want to control each other for its own sake. They don't want to control each other solely to cover their own insecurities.

So why?

Ashley, first. She's obviously an insecure little monster, having never received the validation that she needs to really come into her own as a person. She keeps seeking it. Keeps trying to provide for Andrew. Keeps trying to make herself useful. Now, let's look at her calls towards Julia:

"DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? Just because you can fuck him and I can't?"

Ah, wait, hold on a minute.

"You think that's love?! Are you fucking delusional?? Cumdumpsters like you are just that."

Where does that wording come from?

"He will never love you. Not like he loves me. I am the only one. I am everything."

She doesn't need validation just for the sake of her insecurities. She needs it because she needs Andrew to be happy, and in her mind, she's the only one who can provide it. She knows him better than anyone else. She can see how happy she seems to make him, and that nobody else can do what she does. She knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she makes Andrew more comfortable than anyone. She knows how important physical affection is to him. She can feel it. She doesn't lack empathy towards his plight or feelings; she has more of it than anyone, actually!

But Andrew, crucially, never seems to provide her any validation for this, even though she knows better. That's why she's so insecure.

"But wait," you might say, "didn't he, literally, fucking kill for her?"

Yes. But he always tries to place the blame on Ashley or use her as a scapegoat, when he was the one who pulled the trigger. He never accepts even the smallest amount of responsibility. And if a man can't even take responsibility for the violence he inflicts on others, what does that say about him? What does it say about how much he actually cares? oh. more gender roles. huh.

In Ashley's mind, that validation isn't validation because he didn't do it to prove he cared about her. He did it to shut her up. And… he never says anything to the contrary. He refuses to. All his validation is depressingly, overbearingly conditional.

His words always come with a caveat. They're always said in spite of something. They lack warmth. They lack kindness. They lack affection. She is never, ever given a key to lock the door to her insecurities…

…even though Andrew obviously has that key. He just refuses to give it to her.

But why?

Society! :D

There is something so fundamentally, obviously wrong with the way Andrew feels towards Ashley. She is a tar soul. A pariah. So horrid that her parents don't want her, so obviously bad that even demons don't want her. And yet Andrew, in spite of everything, still wants her. He wants to take care of her, when society tells him not to bother. He wants to protect her from other men, and even from herself. It manifests as jealousy because…

He, too, thinks the only one qualified to provide for Ashley is himself, because he was the only one who ever had. Violence comes so naturally to him that he takes it for granted. He kills for her, threatens to physically assault her when he thinks she's putting herself in danger.

It's so second nature to him that he thinks it should obviously be enough. But it isn't. His violence is so second nature as to be passive. It's non-committal. And what Ashley wants is committment.

But because of how society views Ashley, and how the world would view a romantic relationship between them, he can't truly commit to her. He can't give her the validation she really needs, because everything and everyone has told him that it's wrong. That she's wrong. And all his parents ever taught him is to be afraid of how others will react to that wrongness.

hey look, a man fearing the commitment a woman wants from him! more gender stereotypes!! I wonder what this game is trying to say!!!

Maybe I'm crazy or something. Maybe I'm just looking into it too deep. But I don't really care. I don't care if this is the intended reading, and neither should you. The fact of the matter is that most of the things that define them as toxic are not their fault. Most of the reasons they mistreat each other come from without, rather than within. The only reason they can't love each other is because the world tells them not to. Because it expects them to fill certain roles, to be certain people.

But Ashley can only ever be herself.

Maybe someone who's an actual expert on this subject matter could weigh in and give a true feminist reading. But me? I'm just here to point out patterns. I'm just here to point out facts. And one of those facts is that, to the world around her, Ashley did something wrong: She was born.

The Steam reviews of this game are fucking funny, but a lot of them say one thing that couldn't be further from the truth:

"I can fix her!"

No, you can't. She's only 'broken' in the context of her environment.

But in the words of another analyst:

It's madness to expect tar to behave like water.

So cut them some slack! They might finally succeed in a world that wanted nothing more than for them to fail. It's not our right to take that away from them.

#the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew graves #ashley graves #gaming #gravecest #tcoaal #tcoal #im going all in #and none of you can stop me

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