#it's sam btw. she also did more for humanity. who needs some guy to 'die for your sins' when you can get possessed by a hyperskilled sweetie

[sweetness47]

Almost Too Late

This is for @idreamofplaid and @girl-next-door-writes for their ‘They Belong to Us Now’ Challenge. Hope you guys like it! Congrats on your milestones btw.

Warnings: Swearing, death mentioned, dark spirits, kissing at the end, pining I’m going to say PG-14

Prompt #16: If You die, I’m going to kill you.

Theme: AU Castle

Pairing: Sam x reader

Life was good, or mostly. My friends and I hunt monsters, save people from the things that go bump in the night. This isn’t what your thinking though. We don’t drive places. Most of our travel is done by horseback or hiking. The industrial revolution came, left, and is in the process of being reborn, but it’s very slow going.

Every day is a new adventure. It’s just four of us: me, Dean, Sam, and my friend Charlie. Oh, and spoiler alert…I’ve had a major crush on Sam forever! Like seriously. I mentally drool when he talks to me, stands close to me, and my underwear is a sopping mess by the time the day ends. It’s super hard being so attracted to him, especially since he has no clue. I hesitate to bring it up, my worst fear is that confessing my feelings would ruin what we have.

That would kill me.

So I suffer silently. Charlie has noticed my pining, and has tried to get me to admit my feelings to him. But I’m terrified. If I lost him because I chose to share my attraction, I’d never be able to live with myself. I would lose the one thing in my life worth living for, besides friends, and that would kill me, literally.

I’ve pictured all the different ways I could approach the subject. I could casually just walk beside him and slide into my feelings. I could just jump him while everyone’s sleeping (my personal favorite…for obvious reasons) but what if he rejects my advances? I just can’t find an outcome where I’m not overthinking, where I don’t see chances of disaster, of rejection, of heartbreak.

Ugh. FML. Seriously.

**

Our travels bring us to a long abandoned castle. It’s creepy as fuck, but if properly fixed and cleaned up, it could actually be a really good home for us to work out of, a place where we can just hold up and crash, seek safety, keep our belongings we don’t usually need on hunts.

It’s really big, in an intimidating sort of way. I shiver as I walk closer and touch the stone walls. There’s a presence or two here, things that are tethered to this ancient land, to this castle. It’s dark, and dangerous.

And it knows we’re here.

“Guys? We’re not alone here.”

Sam, Dean and Charlie all turn towards me, and wait. They know I’m able to feel things, so if I say to be careful, they listen.

I continue. “I don’t know if there’s more than one, but whatever is in here is dangerous, like deadly. And it already knows we’re here. The good news? It hates light. Bad news though…the sun will be setting in a couple of hours. We won’t stand a chance if we don’t make a plan.”

“Is it worth us even staying? I mean, we could always find another place to shack up.” Dean’s voice tells me he’s going against his heart. He really likes this place as much as the rest of us, but he also knows not to take my feelings lightly.

“Maybe, but how often do we come across such a magnificent place? A lot of castles have long since been destroyed by one disaster or another. With some work, and luck, we could make this our home. I love the idea of having a solid place to rest once in a while.”

I love Charlie. She’s never one to beat around the bush. Straight forward and honest. I nod in agreement, but as I stare at the dark looming windows and the ancient structure of the castle, I can’t help but wonder if Dean might have a point. I personally have never felt something this dangerous before and frankly, I honestly don’t know how to deal with whatever dwells inside.

**

The human called YN is correct, something dark and dangerous does occupy this castle. Me. I am the biggest threat here, the banshee that recently sought refuge here is nothing compared to my dark power.

I am a void, a darkness, sentient and silent. I feed off fear and humans, the ones that are foolish enough to try and remove me from my home. Many have tried. None have succeeded.

I am near indestructible. I revel in the power I possess. I will never let anyone take it from me.

I used to be malicious, hell bent on finding the next willing victim to feed my hungry darkness. Then my brother entity, the one hunters dubbed “the Empty” made a deal with an angel, where the angel would help save what was left of this world and then go willingly into that void.

The anguish I felt from those the angel considered family was horrific. They mourned. I hated the idea that the one like me could be so cruel. We were made for harbouring souls, ones that had no other place to go. We were made to feed on those dead and lost, to grow and suck the life from them. But we were never to make deals to take a willing live being, no matter the end game.

That was what our creator told us. My brother didn’t listen.

I did.

I left because of that. And was punished for it.

Now I am tethered to this stone building. I’ve been here for a long time, and have grown quite fond of the peace and quiet. Most of my energy is gotten from stray animals, or the occasional human. But I absolutely refuse to leave.

So I prepare to fight. I won’t lose this home.

**

Sam peeks through the door and down the dark hall. “Sounds like fun. Shall we?” He grabs a flashlight and steps over the threshold. The moment he does, I feel the change in whatever has possessed this place.

I grab his arm. “Sam, be careful.”

He nods. “Always.”

I snort at that response, because for as much as I love the brothers, they have had a tendency to get into some stupid situations.

Dean follows Sam, then Charlie and I step inside. I’m blown away from what greets us. The first archway we encounter opens to a massive foyer, large enough to rival a grand ballroom, with corridors leading off in all directions, as well as a grand wide staircase, gleaming with gold accents and dark cherry wood railings. All I was missing was the fancy ball gown and a crowd of ballroom dancers to complete the picture.

Honestly it felt like we’d stepped into a fairy tale, but the danger looming in the background dispelled that notion pretty quick. And now that we were inside, I could definitely sense more than one. The first one, the dark presence that resided in the walls, it was intelligent, and it didn’t feel as threatening as the other. Spirit number two was restless, malevolent, and downright deadly.

“Guys, just a heads up. There’s two different entities here, both are dangerous, but one of them is more so than the other. Be careful. We go in pairs. Watch each other’s backs.”

Everyone nods, and Dean whisks me down one hall while Sam and Charlie explore the other. The moment we’re alone, Dean calls me out on what I didn’t say.

“Ok hotshot, spill. What aren’t you telling us?”

I sigh. Dean knows I have a thing for his brother, and has encouraged me numerous times to tell Sam how I feel. He also knows I have a habit of keeping important information from the others when I feel like it could jeopardise an outcome.

I stop and face my friend. “It’s just a feeling Dean. Honest.”

Dean purses his lips as if trying to figure out if my words are the truth. “Ok. But the moment that changes, you tell us. None of this hero bullshit you usually pull. I saw the look in your eyes. Your spooked. And you never get spooked like this.”

He’s right. It’s one of the reasons I’m good at hunting the things that go bump in the night. I don’t scare easily.

I nod. “I know. I promise to tell you if the feeling becomes more. Ok? Can we drop it now?”

He does, but only because I have a tendency to blow a fuse if I’m pushed too far. And I need to be on top of my game if I want to stay ahead of the dark.

An ear-splitting, high pitched scream echoes through the entire castle, the walls vibrating as it bounces off everything it touches.

Dean and I look at each other and say at the same time. “Banshee!!”

We radio Charlie and Sam. They confirm they heard the creature as well, and promise to keep a close eye on their surroundings. I can’t shake the heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach though. It’s almost like someone’s going to die…

FUCK!

“Dean! We have to find Sam and Charlie now!”

He takes one look at my facial expression, and whatever he finds there is enough to convince him not to argue. Another banshee scream fills the halls, and we take off back to the main foyer as we try to radio Charlie and Sam. They don’t answer, so we head in the direction they took when we split off.

The horrible feeling grows with each step, and when we stumble upon a broken two-way radio, I swallow hard. Dean calls out, but neither answer. I look at the elder Winchester, who’s grim looks mirror my own.

Suddenly, we’re thrown across the room by the high pitched wail, having been too distracted to notice her presence. I recover quickly, my need to contain her is great, she is a road block in my quest to find my friends and make sure they are all right. I summon my will, and I throw everything I have, everything I am feeling, at my nemesis. Her screams fade as she disintegrates before our eyes.

It’s then we see Charlie and Sam, both of whom are lying on the ground, motionless. Charlie is moaning and attempting to open her eyes and sit up, but my focus is on Sam, or rather his lack of movement. I’m paralyzed by fear when I notice his shallow breathing, the struggles he has just trying to breathe.

I fall to my knees beside him. “Sam? Baby, talk to me.”

He coughs and smiles weakly, blood trickles out of his mouth with each wheeze. “You called me a pet name. I knew you liked me.”

Tears fell as I smiled at his attempt at humor. “Asshole! Don’t you dare try and distract me. I swear Sam, if you die, I will kill you. Do you hear me? I will fucking hunt your ass down and kill you!”

His answer is to chuckle, but it quickly turns to another bout of coughing, and more blood oozing from his perfect lips. He never gets to say what he’s thinking as his lungs give out, and he stops breathing.

My worlds stops. I can’t breathe.

A gasp leaves my lips, and quickly turns into a strangled cry. I fall over him, hugging his still form, begging him to wake up, to come back to me. I can’t live without him.

Why the hell did I pair with Dean? Why? I could have protected him! I’m such an idiot! And now I’ll never be able to tell him I love him, I’ll never hold him again, or kiss him the way I’ve always imagined.

Because he’s gone.

That’s when I feel the other presence, the heartache that mirrors my own. The entity within the walls is feeling my pain, which is weird in itself, like it’s mourning my loss.

So I engage it in conversation.

You…why do you mourn my loss? I ask it in my head.

There’s no delay in the answer I receive. I have felt human loss before, it saddens me. What makes this human special?

I love him. He is everything to me…the air I breathe, the life in my body. He’s my reason for living. Is my answer.

This time there is considerable pause before it talks to me. I can bring him back for you. All I ask in return is to be allowed to stay in these walls. I have grown to like it here.

Deal. If you can save him, I will not harm you. But you can never harm me or my friends for as long as we live in this place.

The entity agrees, and I feel it join with my mind, it’s darkness seeping into my body, taking my power and my connection to Sam. I involuntarily move my hands to hover over his chest, and close my eyes as power is released from me into him.

Sam’s body shudders and suddenly he gasps, sitting upright, his lungs taking in gulps of fresh air. He coughs then looks at me, eyes wide.

And I fold my arms around his neck and kiss him.

It takes about two seconds for him to kiss me back, parting my lips with his tongue. Kissing Sam is everything I imagined and more, he tastes sweet, like cotton candy. I’m crying again, but it’s tears of joy. I eventually tear my mouth from his, needing to say three words.

“I love you.”

His response comes immediately. “I love you too YN. Always have.”

He kisses me again, leaving Dean and Charlie cheering and teasing us to get a room. I look up, and a shadowy figure smiles in my direction. The entity.

Thank you. I manage.

It nods, then fades into the walls.

@idreamofplaid @girl-next-door-writes @drkcnry67 @lyarr24

[laufire]

Supernatural s2

I’m halfway through s3 already (technically a rewatch, but there were episodes I didn’t watch the first time around), so this post is a little overdue lol. At this rhythim the posts will overlap. Plus I’m hoping I can finish s4-5 during the holidays to see the ~intended ending~ before I have to slow down on the binge-watch. After that, a season a month sounds achievable AND won’t take longer than 2021 xD

ANYWAY.

-Overall, I’ve enjoyed it more than the first one, but at the same time I’ve found myself missing how... claustrophobic? Insular? Compact? That one was. s2 was about the world opening up just a little bit more, introducing new characters to the brothers’ life, etc. I do love the detail that this is something that can only have, narratively speaking, once John is dead. Again: this show gets abusive families, consciously or not.

-The foreshadowing is beautifully done. 15 seasons make for a lot of unintentional and ironic foreshadowing later on, I’m sure, but the purposeful foreshadowing is superb this season. About the crossroads deals, of course, but especially about John’s last words. I already knew he’d told Dean he might have to kill Sam (father of the year, seriously. Though I side-eye the fandom even more for always having acted as if this is only awful for Dean lol), so I was hyperaware of every single detail. My favourite moment was the absolute horror of hearing Gordon proudly, cheerfully relate how he murdered his sister when she became a vampire (which, btw, as someone that’s still bitter about what went down with the Gunn siblings on Angel, I found it healing to see something like that treated as a horror story).

-Speaking of Gordon: I unashamedly love his character lmfao. Sterling K. Brown is mesmerizing, always. At the same time, I have serious mixed feelings (especially after seeing his arc in full in s3) because man, if it isn’t a racist mess. I’ve mentioned this before, but it’s not exactly revolutionary that the first time we see the story from the monster’s POV (something I want the show to do! Often!), it’s when white monsters are stalked and brutalized by our first black hunter. Especifically a white woman, btw (although I’m happy to see Tara Maclay as a brunette vampire. I didn’t know I needed that in my life, but I did). And you can tell that the show thinks it’s just so SMART and FUNNY to have a ~racist black hunter!! I mean, the comment about how psychic kids would be “betraying their race” if they allied with demons?? FFS.

And ofc there’s the fact that he’s condemned for the exact same type of stuff that makes Dean be hailed as a hero lmfao. Though I won’t like, I love the moment where, faced with the comparison, Dean’s response is “I might be like you, I might not. But you’re the one tied up.” I love those kinds of character moments. As of s2 I officially have a love-hate relationship with Dean Winchester, I hate it here xDD

But still, on his own, Gordon is an amazing character (it’s one of the most frustrating things about the show, the greatness tainted by the bigotry :))). Charismatic, terrifying, and ofc superbly acted. Also, I love that the fact that he praised John (as opposed to every other hunter having a rockier relationship with him) is clearly supposed to be a red flag LMFAO.

-I enjoy how the seasons delves more deeply into Sam’s ~~dark origins, since it was my fave thing about him way back when. I’m already mourning the (as I suspect) lost of his powers, ngl. There’s a little more attention in how he tends to over-identify with supernatural creatures struggling with their ~dark sides too (bitch me too, the fuck xD), which I LOVE to see (among other reasons because at least in that way we get a little of their POV in the forefront lol). One of my favourites in that sense was the episode centered around the ghost-who-didn’t-know-she-was-ghost, played by Tricia Helfer. I clocked early one what was going on, but it was still very enjoyable, especially with Sam’s empathy with her (contrasted by Dean being a total bitch about it, btw. I can’t believe I still see post about how Dean is all heart/kindness/compassion/whatever the fuck. Dean is all about selective empathy and only when it conveniences him, pls).

I was more divided on the episode with Madison the werewolf, tbh. OTOH it put Sam in a better position, for a change xD. As the one willing to make The Hard Choices by fulfilling his promise to kill her because she was dangerous, even when Dean offered to ~take the burden from him. OTOH I hate that kind of thing lol. YOU GUYS KNOW A HUNTER PRO LIKE BOBBY, I BET HE COULD’VE FIGURED OUT SOMETHING TO CONTAIN HER A FEW NIGHTS A MONTH. Also, my immediate reaction was to compare this to when my man Angel had a crush on a werelady and helped her every month lmfao. But then, very few characters can withstand a comparison with Angel, in any sense :P

I also liked Sam’s subplot with his fellow demon-psychic kids, though I wish it’d lasted longer :/ (also: RME at the queer girl dying almost immediately AND her power being killing people, her girlfriend first of all, with her touch. The black guy was the last one to die at least...?). My fave was Ava, by far. I loved her since her reaction to helping Sam stealing a psychiatrist’s records was yelling “I’M AWESOME!!”. It made it easy to buy that someone that appeared so mundane, with her easy life and her fiance and whatnot, would become so power hungry and go off the rails, IMO.

BTW: RME at Dean being all “oh Sam is going too dark/becoming to cold” when Sam kills Jake. Jake ripped off his spine and killed him first!! It both amuses me and infuriates me all the times Dean tries to push Sam to be more like himself and then freaks out whenever Sam is not all sunshine and rainbows (while still remaining, IMO, far less cold than Dean himself. Besides, it’s not easy to be colder than Dean, lol).

Lastly, a little character detail I loved was when Sam was jealous about Dean being in the federal database but not himself lmfao. 

-I loved the new foreshadowing crumb with Sam finding out Mary knew the demon, too (information he’ll withhold from Dean, which I approve of LOL). I mean, I know exactly what’s up, I’ve watched most of s4 xD (also, what is UP with this family and making deals with demons. Everyone but Sam so far!! And then HE gets dragged for ~getting too close to one smh. Maybe lead by example!! Also also: yes, it was meant to be ambiguous, but I can’t help but notice the only kiss-pact -or further, depending to how close YED was to Lilith’s levels, since to make a deal with her you have to fuck xD- we didn’t see was the one that must’ve happened between John and YED. Cowards!! xD). Still. I’m so curious about her. Her resurrection is one of the main reasons I’m determined to make it to the later seasons, ngl.

-Another thing I LOVED about this season is how they used sibling relationships to parallel/foreshadow stuff about the brothers, the way s1 did often with fathers. I’ve already mentioned Gordon and his sister, but the others are not less brutal imo: Andy having to kill his evil twin, who wanted him all for himself (... Dean is that you xD); the little girl’s ghost who wanted her grand-niece to commit suicide to stay with her, and didn’t give in until her old sister agreed to die in her place. It was chilling. Also, at one point the parallel was between the brothers and a married couple (the ghost-who-didn’t-know-she-was-a-ghost) and asñdlfkajsf. I’m guessing they had fun with the shippers lol.

Speaking of the brothers’ relationship, this season also goes a little further in escalating the violence between them, when Dean punches Sam in the face and he refuses to respond (“you can hit me all you want, it won’t change anything”. Fuck), or when Dean again punches Sam after Sam was possessed by Meg ¬¬

-Going back to my love-hate relationship with Dean, lmfao. My biggest beef remains how much validation his POV gets from the narrative, granted or not; he’s one of the most irritating cases of protagonist-centered morality and I know it’s only going to get worse smh. At least this season it feels a little more balanced than in s1, with episodes like the one where the civilian Sam had tried to keep away dies halfway through the ep because Dean allowed him to get involved, for example. Still, it grates on me xD. The continuing prison rape jokes/demonic possession rape jokes (with Meg and Sam), his general grossness with women and his lack of sympathy for non-humans even when they’re not trying to hurt anyone don’t exactly help. Also, I often see him praised for some of his political views, a lot of which I agree with (his mistrust of cops, saying convicts don’t deserve to die no matter what they do), but when contrasted with his general attitude across the show it’s really grating ngl.

But then he has such AMAZING character details thrown in, that make me appreciate him as a POV character nonetheless, as much as I often want to curb stomp the guy xD. I loved his speech about how there’s no such thing as a dignified death. I love how he refused to come near his mother’s grave, both at the beginning and at the end of the episode (this show is like, the cure to DCCW’s shows false fuzzy sentimentality istg). I love his pop-culture references, like when Sam mentions Dean always thought OJ was the murderer or Dean jokes about freeing Katie Holmes from Scientology’s cult xD (sometimes it really hits you how old this show is lol). I enjoyed his Wishverse episode, and his lines after Sam dies/he sells his soul to save him (“I had one job”, “my life can mean something”) hit HARD.

But most of all? I LOVE how and why he starts losing respect for John. It’s so fucking cold and abrupt and makes so much sense!! Like, yes, part of it is John’s message about killing Sam (... again, father of the year!), but most of all it’s about John making a pact with a demon and dying TO SAVE DEAN (and probably, simply that he died at all. That shit de-mystifies anyone). IT’S SO FUCKING GREAT TO WATCH. “He spent his life chasing that demon. He was supposed to die fighting, not making a deal with the damn thing. That was supposed to be his legacy, not this." Damn, Dean xDD. The *contempt* with which he said that killed me.

I also love his inherently atheist vision of the world (even if yes, it’s extremely funny knowing this show has canon God and angels and shit -no Jesus Christ though, which I find endlessly funny-, or that they actually meet the archangel Gabriel in disguise xD. Either way, the episode with the fake angel and its foreshadowing was hilarious), his anti-destiny stance, and that it’s him and not John who gets to kill YED.

-I liked Ellen and Jo. Not LOVED, but I liked them. I keep fearing that secondary (especially female) characters will feel empty/shallow but the show keeps proving me wrong, even with one-episode wonders, and at first I wasn’t sure about them, but I was sold quickly. Partially because of the actresses, they both had this... humanizing, endearing quality? It worked really well.  I also loved the explicit contrast between John and Ellen’s parenting styles, with Ellen wanting Jo to return to school and be safe from the hunt, and Jo wanting something different. Also, I wouldn’t ship it if you paid me, but LOL at anyone who actually buys Dean sees Jo as a ~little sister just because MEG said that rme.

This show is just REALLY good when it comes to giving depth to a character with only a couple of brush strokes, which makes it all the more frustrating when they abruptly die or disappear to never be seen again/only once more (to abruptly die!) :)))

I was less sold on Ash; he was amusing, but having a Genius Hacker TM helping them out seemed like the beginning of increasingly giving the brothers ways of deux ex machina-ing them out of problems, when one of my favourite things about the show is seeing them creatively find ways out themselves. I like when they’re competent! Like with the multitude of codes they have to improvise plans, like in the episode where with two words through a lawyer they implemented a quick scheme so that Sam would escape from a police precinct. I like that stuff.

-I’m still so bitterly jealous about the dead man’s blood hurting vampires detail. SO BITTERLY JEALOUS. I love a lot of what this show does with its lore but that little bit is the worst offender. I want it so bad xD

[secretly-a-nerd]

Destiel is bad for mlm. An essay with comebacks.

CLARIFICATIONS BEFORE I START: DESTIEL FANS DON'T INTERACT WITH THIS OF COURSE!!! Btw, I am mlm, I have a loving boyfriend who acts like Castiel while I act like Sam a lot... so yeah, I'm a Sastiel shipper so this post may come off as a little biased but I want to help other shippers who are against Destiel.  So if you're not a Sastiel shipper, still, don't leave- I'm not forcing you to ship it. That's wrong to force someone to ship. I'm also anti-Dean person.  In this post, there will be spoilers for Supernatural.

Ight let's put this show on the road... first off...

WHY DESTIEL IS BAD: -Yes, the ship is mlm and if canon, will be a mlm ship... but it’s bad rep. Why? Because if you want good representation, you gotta have a good relationship and not be queerbait for about 12 years. Dean literally beat Castiel up multiple times (even without the Mark of Cain). Let me ask you this fellas in a relationship... do you beat your partner? Bark commands at them 24/7? See them as a monster at times? I don’t think so.

-Stepping away from the ship itself, the fans are toxic and normally straight cis women who think they know what’s good for mlm or fetishizes mlm. (However, I’m not saying everyone who ships Destiel is straight and a cis woman) Also, the Destiel shippers will often times force others to ship that ship with them.

-What is mlm fetishization? People who solely love mlm ships- they barely have any wlw ships or straight ships. Just... mlm... or forces two males together, even if they are straight. They are or the equvialent of asking a gay male to be their 'gay friend'. That is very toxic. Destielhellers... get a new hobby, something healthier than reading/watching sexual assault, emotional abuse, and physical abuse.

COMEBACKS:

-When Castiel raised Dean from hell, he didn’t do it because “he loves Dean!” It was because Castiel is a soldier, a perfect soldier too, created by God to obey orders without question. When Castiel was first introduced to the show, he didn’t understand human emotions nor actually feel them so how could he quickly love Dean? Castiel also raised from Sam from hell.

-“#Theysilencedyou” on Instagram... the CW didn’t silence you, no one did. It was never canon in the first place. If Destiel was canon in the first place and Dean says “I love you too” OUT LOUD to Castiel, then killing Castiel off and NOT GIVING Dean a happy ending would be a “they silenced you” moment. But did that really happen? No. In the end, Castiel and Dean got a happy ending, just not together. And WOAH WOAH WOAH DON'T PULL CHARLIE INTO THIS. The show does a good job of giving her a lot of screentime about her sexuality and whatnot. She got a girlfriend multiple times. Her first death... she died in a Joan of Arc kind of way too which is awesome to me- but that's not the point with Charlie. She didn't come back in the finale because of covid and it's heavily hinted that everyone in the alternative universe place did go to heaven. I bet you anything she's in heaven right now.

-Castiel’s last words were the words he said in 15x18. He was dying. The empty was getting him. Those were his dying words, if he had said those while not dying, I would understand “they silenced you” there too. But Castiel didn’t say it while NOT dying, right? Also, there are different types of meanings behind "I love you" such as the friendship kind, which I say "I love you" to a lot of my friends, there's the family kind, and yes, there's the lover kind. Castiel most likely meant it in a family way since he said- same with Dean- that the Winchester brothers were like family to him.

-The CW writers aren’t homophobic. Here’s a list of the lgbtq+ characters from their other shows:

-Sara Lance (Arrow) -Alex Danvers (Supergirl) -Clarke Griffin (The 100) -Nyssa Raatko (Arrow) -David Singh (The Flash) -Anissa Pierce (Black Lightning) -Toni Topaz (Riverdale) -Teddy Montgomery (90210) AND MORE.

Granted, there aren't many gay men in that list. That's because they haven't found an actor who would feel comfortable playing a gay man... toxic masculinity happens guys... Reminds you of a certain character in Supernatural?

-“Kill Sam/Jared!” Sadly, I’ve seen that comment. Firstly, if you kill Jared... that’s literal murder and... dude that’s so extremist... you shouldn’t wish death upon anybody. Secondly, Sam is a main character in the show. He’s Dean’s brother. If Dean was left alone with Castiel, it still wouldn’t happen. Why? Because like we saw in the finale (15x20), Sam was mourning after Dean and it left him to FOREVER remember his brother. Dean would be the same if Sam were to die and go to heaven. Dean’s and Sam’s brotherly relationship is the glue that keeps it all together in the show. One brother is very rarely without the other in screentime.

-“Sam is Destiel’s number one cheerleader!” Okay, no, I get where they get it from... the episode, Fan Fiction (10x5). But Sam was messing with Dean because he knew how squirmy he’d get. Dean sees Castiel as a brother... and imagine being shipped with your friend that you see as family. Horrible, right? because it’s getting rid of the aspects of your relationship? Sam even shipped himself with Castiel in one of the scenes. So how would that make him a cheerleader of Destiel?

-Destiel fans admitted to being queerbaited, which is bad and can lead to other shows in the future doing that. I’m gonna add the definition of queerbaiting: "a marketing technique for fiction and entertainment in which creators hint at, but then do not actually depict, same-sex romance or other LGBTQ representation." -from Wikipedia. I'm sorry but there was little queerbaiting with Destiel... because Dean would CONSTANTLY be a jerk to Castiel then we'd have like... one scene where Dean wasn't a jerk to Castiel in the episode, then never see a scene where Dean was kind to Castiel until two episodes later.

-"Dean isn’t straight!!!" Yuh he is straight, have you seen him with a man? Let alone, feel comfortable with one romantically? I'll type up all of the episodes in which he was passively homophobic later on... AND don’t push Sam into this saying some stupid stuff like “he’s homophobic!”

-“Jensen is homophobic!” I actually used to believe this until I woke up and did some research on that. How that started was by Dean, the character Jensen plays, not saying "I love you" back to Castiel/Misha. They're practically forcing the ship to happen. Jensen was just following the script, same with Misha. They're under a contract guys, they don't have much say in it. However, there have been some rumors saying Jensen is homophobic even before 15x18. I cannot confirm this but I've heard that Jensen did decline a fan's request to hold a pride flag... but there's not much context behind it because the fan themself could of been weird and creepy and harassing Jensen, or forcing Jensen to say Dean is something so he needs to hold up that pride flag. Or... yes, Jensen was lowkey being homophobic...

-Destiel fans are signing stuff to change the ending... like??? That won’t work. The cast's contract with CW is done. Also, this like the equivalent of Trump’s “STOP THE COUNT!!” and “I won the election!!!”.... changing stuff to make people believe you are right. That's hella manipulative. -[Insert that one shot of all of the crew together at the end of 15x20.] Destiel fan: "WHY WASN'T CASTIEL THERE?!! WITH DEAN IN HEAVEN?!?!!?!?!" Okay, firstly, Jack wasn't there too and he's now God, covid happens and the writers really wanted Bobby's actor to be there ((I forgot why, I'll add it in later!!! BUT THERE'S A REASON)). Mary and John Winchester could of been in that finale... there are so many characters that could of been in that finale guys, but COVID-19 happened. The lack of characters was for the actors' safety. I don't know about you but some show isn't more important than my own safety. Besides, the contract is about to be lifted, and they had other shows to act in.... Jared with Walker... Jensen with The Boys...

-"How is Destiel bad for mlm...? It's gay ship..." I already answered that question, but I just wanted to remind you guys that Destiel fans WILL ask this. But I'll sum it up for you guys: it's fetishization because you're pairing up a toxic man who sees that other person as another brother/best friend. Also, that 'toxic man' isn't bisexual. He always has been with females and makes lowkey homophobic remarks. On top of that, Dean has beaten Castiel up sooooo many times, both physically and mentally. ***This essay is a WIP... and I take constructive criticism. However, if you are a Destiel fan and write about this, I will ignore you.

[ain-t-bovvered]

15X01

bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies​  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon​  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby​  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

Giulia: I HATE THIS

Giulia: BTW

Giulia: IF ANYONE WAS CURIOUS

Kat: Don’t worry you’ll hate it more later

Giulia: GREAT

Zee: Quit flapping your gums bitches

Nat : shall I count?

Giulia: Go when u post 🖕🏻

Nat : lol

Zee: Nice

Nat : i just go with GO

Giulia: Weak

Nat : ok

Nat : listen

Nat : 3

Nat : 2

Nat : 1

Nat : GO

Giulia: GREAT MUSIC

AH Y’ALL DON’T LISTEN TO THE LYRICS OF THIS SONG

Zee: Where’s carry on ?

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Think of seasons that must end ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ 

Nat : I DON'T REMEMBER HALF OF WHAT THEY SHOW NOW.  It's erased from my memory

Giulia: look at my stupid baby

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ They will rise and fall again ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ 

Giulia: Oh look the dumb coffin

Nat : "I do believe in us."

Zee: John

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Everything must have an end ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Giulia: I DIDN T NEED JOHN AGAIN

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Take it calmly and serene ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

BITCH HOW

Giulia: bye mary.Good riddance

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ It's the famous final scene ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Zee: Maybe I should watch on mute

Kat: Shut up chuck

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ It's been coming on so long You were just the last to know ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Zee: The fuck is this song ?

It's been a long time since you've smiled

Giulia: IDK I HATE IT

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Seems like oh so long ago Now the stage has all been set ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Giulia: bb Sob ....Them hair on fleek tho

Nat : What are the odds

Zee: BAMF Cas

Giulia: Idk seems so desperate

Kat: Always

Nat : So much grunting. So sexy

Giulia: AWE

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Now the lines have all been read And you knew them all by heart ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Kat: SAM

Kat: DEAN

Zee: He took jack

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Here it comes the hardest part Try the handle of the road ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Kat: over the shoulder like a sack of potatoes

ok I now it’s a serious moment but Dean skipping with his birb bowlegs is making me cackle so much i cannot

LOOK AT HIM ....*SNORTS*

oh look another meme

Giulia: Sam just casually shoving a ghost out of the way

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ As the light fades from the screen From the famous final scene ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

Zee: Ok

Zee: I hate it

Giulia: OH THAT TITLE CARD

Nat : Ah great title card

ok but ....* slows down frames and saves some of them* WHAT’S THIS

Whatever let’s just go back to more pressing matters

Lol that is so not Misha carrying Jack tho

Giulia: Misha’s fingers be that thick

Zee: Focus

Giulia: Lol dean reaching for that booze, I mean SAME.

Nat : AW CAS

Giulia: Awe SAM

Zee: Sam panting

D: He didn’t deserve this

Kat: Aw

S: Cass, is he here? C- C-Can you... Can you...?

Giulia: SAM 

Nat : "I don't think so"

Nat : I cry

Giulia: I CRY

Giulia: Sam’s pain is physical

Giulia: I cannot

I mean,...they do look like zombies. 

D: Chuck... He said, "Welcome to the End”.  What... What does that mean?

Zee: Welcome to the end

D: Cass? Come on, man! Ideas!

Team free Stress

Giulia: It means final season

D: Can you smite our way out of here?

Zee: Cas squint

C: No. You saw them. I would be overwhelmed, Dean.

Well I honestly thought Dean actually asked if Cas could fly them off there....which...well don’t think it can happen if the state of his wings are the same, BUT STILL, we don’t actually know becasue PLOTHOLES. But whatever man, I still love my show.

D: Great. So we go outside, we get ripped apart. We stay in here, w- what, starve to death?!

C: I wouldn’t starve

Nat : WELL GOOD FOR YOU

Giulia: WeLl gOoD fOr yOu

Kat: Love the sass

D: Son of a bitch

the fandom:  * CHEERS*

Giulia: Sure he knew

D: He's always so squirrelly, you know, with the...with the... the robe and the beard and...the smile that's, like, half-nice, half "I'm gonna rip your throat out. "

Giulia: Oh that true

Nat : Aw Dean

Giulia: AHAHAHA

Giulia: DEAN’s SALTY AF

Nat : Me

Zee: Those fingers tho

Giulia: Why don t they let cas do that, come on

Nat : So much grunting and panting in the first couple of minutes

Nat : I love it

Giulia: Gotta isolate just those

Nat: Cas doesn't want to help

Giulia: Nice

Nat : AH well

Zee: Hello

Giulia: …

Giulia: WELL HELLO GOOD MORNING TO ME

Nat : Now he did

a wild Jack appears

Nat : Ah

Zee: What?

Nat : what

Kat: Hahahahahaha

Giulia: JESUS CHRIST

Nat : IN THE HELL

Giulia: the fuck

Kat: Demon!Jack

Giulia: OH COME ON

Nat : AW DEMON JACK

d!Jack: HELLO

S: Jack! you are alive

oh Sam...baby

Zee: Shut up

d!Jack: I- I'd do the whole eyes thing, but, uh, yeah, no eyes.

Nat : WITH SASS

Team free confused

Zee: Blending

Kat: Weekend at Bernie’s haha

Giulia: SO GOOD THO

Nat : Nice glasses

C: Get out of him

Zee: What he said

d!Jack : Okay? Uh, where do I start? Like at the first day of school. Uh, hi.Uh, my name is Belphegor. And, I'm, uh, here from...

Angry Cass approaching

C: i said get out of him. I’m not gonna ask again

me: 

D: Cass. Let him speak.

C: He's an abomination!

Giulia: AWE CAS

Nat : Cas is having none of it

B: You're an abomination with that stupid, dumb trench coat.

Kat: You’re an abomination with that trenchcoat 🤣

Zee: I love Cas

Giulia: but also love Alex

Giulia: STUPID DUMB TRENCHCOAT

Zee: Listen to your husband Cas

C: He is defiling Jack's corpse!

D: But if he can help... [angrily] Jack's gone, alright?

Giulia: STOP IT DEAN

Giulia: sob

S: So we are...

B: The Winchesters

Nat : "I read the papers" lol

B: Anyway, I'm guessing this whole, uh, Hellmouth thing is kind of, uh, you?

i MEAN HE’S NOT WRONG

C: No. It was God.

B: Okay, okay. Look. I-I'm not some crossroad demon. I'm not even one of those black-eyed goons

Giulia: Who the fuck are u

Nat : Virgin puppies  EW

Nat : TwinSiEs

Nat : snorts

Giulia: We are NOT twinsies

Cas is ready to slap a bitch

Giulia: So strange seeing jack like that tho

Nat : But so good

Zee: He be good

B: Ohh. Little spell. You know, nothing major. Just need some graveyard dirt... and some, uh, angel blood.

Giulia: Yeah, of course, let s use cas again

*Snort* .... he’s so offeded

WHAT A MOOD

Nat : what

Giulia: What he do

Nat : WHAT

Giulia: Really

Nat : who is that

Nat: HOW

Giulia: Oh come on

Giulia: I DONT TRUST THIS

Nat : ME NEITHER HIGH FIVE

Giulia: TOO EASY

B: Hey it worked! High five

Giulia: WHAT

Nat : I'LL PUNCH YOU

Well I wouldn’t want to be the graveyard guys in the morning

Nat : Ah that music

Zee: Future deaths

Nat : Ah bloody mary

Giulia: “oH mY gOd” Who still does that anyway

Nat : Bloody Mary messes with cellphones now

Giulia: A bitch gotta get on with the future

Giulia: Those nails be nasty

Nat : Mhh...  She's more evil than before I would guess

B: I mean, come on. I look good.

Giulia: That cas squint

Giulia: Yeah Cas does not like

Nat : Cas is suspicious

Nat : They act like they're surprised about 2-3billion souls in hell

Kat: I was surprised the number was that low

B: Imagine a salt circle a mile wide No ghosts get in, no ghosts get out.

S: Yeah. Great. Okay.

C: NO. That town... Harlan, Kansas...is less than a mile from the cemetery.

D: Then we get everybody out.

C: How?

D: WE LIE

Giulia: what else is nee

Giulia: Nee

Giulia: New

Nat : lol

Zee: New

Nat : Nee

Giulia: Great Another typo that will hunt us all

Giulia: Why this time the blood looks fake af

Nat : That my car

Zee: Woman in white

S: Dean, this could be our woman in white.

D: Dude. We sent her to Hell years ago.

S:Yeah, but she could be back.

Nat : Dean just realized

D: Well, if she's back, then they're all back. Every last one that we ever killed.

Giulia: I also just realized that we are seeing them again. My babies. I hugged those bitches S.  O. B

Nat : Aw bb

Kat: Lucky you

Zee: Giuls bb. Shut the fuck up please

I must say tho....that must have felt really depressing for them...I mean..all their work just ...puff....

Giulia: Fuck clows

Nat : Ah no

Giulia: Fuck them

Nat : Stupid clowns

Giulia: Fuck off

Giulia: Drive the fucking car into the door

Nat : Wouldn't get through.

Kat: No keys

Nat : Not enough space to fully accelerate

Zee: So much science

Giulia: Ugh true

Zee: Wtf is sam’s hair?

D: We can handle the evac, so why don't you grab Crowley Jr. here whatever he needs for his spell?

C: NO

D: 

Well he didn’t expect that 

C: Dean, I can't. I-I...I can't even look at him.

Giulia: AWE CAS

Nat : Aw Cas

Giulia: AWE AWEEEEEE

Giulia: IM HURT.IM BADLY HURT

C: Um... I...

Awe I think even Dean expected that reaction from Cas. I’m so hurt y’all....so hurt.

WHAT ARE THOSE ROLLING EYES DEAN JFC

Giulia: that sheriff a bit out of it

Kat: Small town. Probably doesn’t have to do much

Nat : Jack probably has his own agenda. "Jack"

Giulia: Yeah

Belphy seeing the gun with that ridiculous nerd name: um....what’s that?

D: Don’t worry about it

B: ok cool

B: So, people are, like, crazy good-looking now, eh?

D: what

B: I mean, the last time I was on Earth, I mean, I was human. Ah, it was a while ago. I mean, but, you know, we were all worshipping308 this giant rock that looked like a huge penis, and...

Giulia: Wait what

Kat: Huge penis rock

Giulia: thank you

B: Anyway, folks back then, they were, uh, ugly. You know? Had a lot of humps. I mean, a lot.

B:  Look at 'em now.

D: 

B:I mean, look at you . I mean, you're, uh, you know, gorgeous

Giulia: HE IS

ALL OF US : WE KNOW

Nat : GET THE FUCK IN LINE FAKE JACK

Kat: BEHIND ME

B: So, uh...who was... he, anyway? 

D: He was our kid. Kinda.

Zee: Our kid

Giulia: OMG NO SOB

Nat: I cry

Zee: Shut up dean

Kat: OUR KID

Giulia: IM SO HURT

D: Alright. So, what do you need for this spell?

B: you know, nothing much. Big bag of salt.

D: Easy

B: And a... And a human heart.

Giulia: a human heart

Nat : what else ,easy

Kat: OF COURSE

Giulia: CAS LOOKS YUMMY YUUUUUMMY

Kat: OF COURSE

Giulia: LOOK AT HIM

Nat : Giuls people are dying

Giulia: HEWWO

Zee: And thicc

Nat : "insert Kim K gif"

Giulia: WELL AT LEAST THEY HAVE A NICE THING TO LOOK AT

Giulia: Nice thic, tan things

Giulia: With great hair

Giulia: Nice eyes

Giulia: I should focus

Nat : Cas saw?

Zee: Yeah

Giulia: So thic

Kat: Aw poor dead girls

Nat : GIULS FOCUS

Giulia: That shirt is crying for mercy

Giulia: Yeah yeah Sorry

Giulia: *keeps looking at those pecs*

Giulia: NO SAM WITH KIDS IM WEAK

Zee: Sam should stop exhaling like that

Nat : NO

Kat: Jared is 4 times the size of that kid

Giulia: STOP HURTING HIM

Kat: Yeah

Zee: Yeah bitch

Giulia: YAS CAS

Kat: I KNOW

Nat : Did Sam treat his bullet wound tho

Giulia: Probably just patched up

Giulia: angel with a shotgun

I love when Cas take care of Sam...so soft.

Nat : that's not a big bag of salt, Dean

D: Rowena, we need your help, so move your ass. What? No, I'm not...Move your exquisite ass, please.

Zee: Exquisite ass

Kat: EXQUISITE ASS PLEASE

Giulia: MOVE YOUR EXQUISITE ASS

D: Here’s your salt

US: Thanks we have plenty 

B: im a fan

Giulia: NO

Zee: Oh no bitch

Zee: NO

B: Yeah, I-I didn't want to say it in front of the other guys,but when you were in Hell, with Alastair, I, uh... I got a chance to watch you work. And, I mean, the things you did to those people, I mean, it wasn't torture. 

Kat: FUCKING ASSHOLE DEMON

Nat : OH NO

Giulia: BAD CHOICE OF WORDS

Giulia: FUCK

Nat : IT WAS ART

Kat: iT waS ArT

Giulia: Is it bad that I wanna watch that tho

Zee: WATCH WHAT?

Nat : YES

Giulia: DEAN’S “ART”

Zee: Wtf is wrong with you ?

B: And then every door in Hell just sprang open all at once.

D: Wait. Every door? Even the Cage?

Nat : Even the cage

Nat : OH NO

D: And Michael?

B: Well, last I heard, he was just sittin' there. Yeah, but if he got out, I mean... Ugh.

Giulia: Lol ADAM

B: I mean...he wouldn't hold a grudge, right?

Giulia: *SNORTS* SURE

Nat : Ah that looks nasty

Kat: YALL WATCH CAREFULLY COMING UP

Zee: Can I love Cas in this ep?

Giulia: Oh cas can mend shirt too

Nat : SNORTS

Nat : WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Nat : Ah

Giulia: i don t like what is going on

Kat: JUST WATCH

Zee: Fuck

Nat : I HATE THIS KAT

Giulia: WHAT

Nat : AH NO

Giulia: NO

Nat : SHIT WHAT

Kat: I TOLD YOU

Giulia: WHAT WAS THAT

Nat : WHAT IS GOING ON

Nat : EVIL SAM IS IN THAT WOUND

But let us take a blurred , closer, look tho: 

*GASPS*

THAT’S THIC BEARD DEAN

YUM

those are definitely black eyes. 

WHAT IS GOING OOOOOOOOOOON

Giulia: Oh I remember that clock, leave a comment if you do too.

Nat : btw All the ghosts don't look very scary

Kat: All these ghosts look old af

Zee: Them bow legs

Giulia: Look at that strut

Kat: Fresh would be better lol

B: cOOL

Giulia: Zee’s that u

Casually punching a hole into someone chest to rip a heart out

Giulia: Got a heart

Nat : WHAT

Kat: Damn fake Jack

Zee: Get away kid

Nat : YOU DON'T SAY

Nat : GOOD FOR YOU

Giulia: Oh the lake ghost

Giulia: Oh ya RUN BB RUN

Kat: That kid is too calm

Zee: It’s not ok

Giulia: it s noooot

Nat : No, he didn't

Nat : Sam did

Zee: You shot me

Giulia: SNORTSP

Kat: You shot me 🤣🤣

Kat: Bad ghost bad

Giulia: Well that was scary

Nat : Stop hurting Sam

Zee: STOP HURTING SAM

Giulia: OH LOOK I LOVE CAS WITH THE SHOTGUN

Zee: WE BEEN KNEW

Nat : OF COURSE YOU DO

Giulia: AWE HE S SAVING SAM

Nat : The ghosts all look weird af

Giulia: True

Kat: They are 15 years older okay

Giulia: Must be the daylight

Zee: I don’t trust jack

Giulia: well is not jack

Giulia: AWE

Nat : AH HE IS FAST HE HAS LONG LEGS

Giulia: I’m worried about Misha's hip

Zee: Shut up

Giulia: Shut up

Kat: AAAAAHHHHH SHUT UP

Giulia: Good gif to use

Nat : he said it like Stepford Sam

Kat: MMHHMM

Giulia: Right?

Giulia: Listen to that PUR

Kat: SO GOOD

Giulia: the angel thing

Nat : So 4 people fit in the back

Nat : lol

Giulia: GOOD TO KNOW

Nat : Ah, not sexual

Zee: Or two horizontal ones

Kat: Well one is a small child

Giulia: Me and Nat are small child size

Nat : Yes

D:  You okay?

C: Yes, but...

Giulia: UGH

Nat : lol

B: Wow! Awkward WANNA TALK ABOUT IT

Zee: Is that a no?

Nat : LISTEN TO HIM DEAN

Zee: That’s a no

Kat: Ooohhh they so pissed

Giulia: SO PISSED

Giulia: SO TENSE

Nat : SO HOT

Giulia: THEY SHOULD RELAX

Giulia: I JUST HAPPEN TO KNOW HOW

Giulia: what

D: Right now we get you fixed up.

S: what

Nat : I'M FINE

Giulia: Yeah open that shirt

Nat : Do you hear that

Nat : FIIIIIINNNEEEEEEE

D: We've been going nonstop. Let me see it.

D: There's no exit wound.

Giulia: DON T TALK LIKE THAT

Nat : Yeah, sure Jan

D: Hey, do you remember when we were little? What I would do to distract you whenever I'd rip off a Band-Aid or something like that?

S: Yeah. You'd tell some stupid joke.

Kat: Omg such a soft moment

Nat : Aw

Nat : Don't come up with old stories now. I'll cry

D: Come on. Knock, knock.

S: Who's...*HISSING*

D: Still got it

Kat: My boys 😭

Nat : It's Jensen face

The little shit face 

Giulia: Well I don t see white foam

Nat : Are you surprised?

Zee: My god

D: Just when we thought we had a choice. You know, whenever we thought we had free will. We were just rats in a maze. Sure, we could go left. Sure, we could go right. But we were still in the damn maze. Just makes you think, if all of it... you know, everything that we've done...What did it even mean?

S: It meant a lot. We still saved people.

D: Yeah, but what for? You know?  Just so he could throw another End of the World at us and then sit back and chug popcorn?

Giulia: I wanna chug popcorn

Nat : Yeah, ya did Sam

Nat : But I get Dean

Zee: Sam still believes

S: But now he’s gone

Nat : YA THINK

S: He gets bored and... and... and... and pulls the ripcord.I mean, that's what he did with Apocalypse World and... and probably with all of them. He moves on, starts another story. But you know what?

Giulia: GOOD

S: For the first time. It's just us.

Zee: What’s one more apocalypse right?

Giulia: 

“What’s one more apocalypse right?” -shit that SPN fans says

S: When we win this, God's gone There's no one to screw with us. There's no more maze. It's just us. And we're free.

D: So you and me versus every soul in Hell? I like those odds.

D: Well, you know what that means.

S: We got work to do.

Giulia: WHAT

Giulia: ALREADY

Nat : WHAT

Zee: Why is it over ?

Giulia: ...it flew

Kat: Hehehe

Nat : FINISHED?

Nat : EH

Nat : WAIT WAS THAT 40 MINUTES ALREADY

Kat: That end though

Giulia: ...what

Nat : What

Giulia: What happened

Kat: The throwback

Zee: Yeah it was

Giulia: what trip was that

Zee: I just exhaled

Nat : What was that

Giulia: WE VE GOT WORK TO DO

Giulia: That was so fast

Kat: SOBA

Giulia: TRAILER

Nat : I hate them

Zee: Oh come on

Nat : i am watching trailer now

Giulia: EH NOTHING MUCH

Kat: Yeah

Nat : LOL I KNOW AS MUCH AS I DID BEFORE

Kat: WHAT

Nat : WTF

Kat: IT’S OVER

Nat : I am not overly impressed

Nat : Dean didn’t finish his knock knock joke

Nat : I’m sangry

.

Next -----> 15x02  "Raising Hell"

.

.

.SO ...that was our last first episode screening, ever....GREAT.

If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

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[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

Jaime Lannister was Personally Victimized

and so was I. An essay. Subtitled how we were wronged, how he was wronged, how Brienne was wronged, how Braime was wronged, and how years of development was wronged. 

Let’s begin.

Now couple of things: I don’t read the books (plan to now.) so I’m just mostly going off the show and specifically this season, because this season had 2 Jaimes. This is probably not academically sound, or too terribly coherent, but I frankly just want to get my thoughts out there, because I was plump bamboozled with “The Bells.” Not just because it ruined so many seasons of juicy, believable, utterly transformative character development for my personal favorite GOT character, (and many others as well.) but considering the episodes that came before this one, it made zero sense. Because let me tell you, in 8 x 02, this lowkey Braime shipper was turned into major Braime shipper in the span of one hour, and I was literally made to believe they were endgame. Maybe not ride into the sunset with a bunch of kids on Tarth endgame, but made explicitly clear without a shadow of a doubt that Brienne was Jaime’s soulmate, true love...or whatever you want to call it.

All of this... all for this to culminate in him going back to Cersei. All for all those seasons of change for him to revert to season one, episode one, the things I do for love Jaime. From a storytelling perspective, there is no satisfaction. and it makes NO sense. Now of course D&D are all about “subversion,” but what was done to Jaime was not a witty or clever subversion of a redemption arc, but a complete and utter cancellation of all those years of hard work that they put in and that Nik put in, in order to get us to like Jaime. Jeremy Jahns in his review on YouTube said it best: Jaime Lannister was stabbed in the back. Furthermore, what they did to Jaime, (and let’s face it, he’s not the only one in this catastrophe that was personally victimized.) basically posits the really terrible message that “you can’t change your nature or where you came from or be different from your parents. (Which is what happened in Dany’s case. To be clear though, I think the signs were there for her, but it was poorly executed.) 

Either way, such a great message. What happened to Jaime also made no sense from a character perspective. Sure, Mr. I don’t care about innocents. ha. ha. ha. I also totally stabbed a guy in the back when I was 17 because he was going to kill innocents, thus giving me my name and eternal shame. Ha ha ha, look how consistent I am.

You’re not the Jaime Lannister that came to Winterfell. Jaime Lannister died in Brienne’s arms one night and a robot was sent in his place to go to Cersei.

Now this post won’t be talking about the major character inconsistencies (sure you don’t care about innocents Jaime SURE.) or go more into the terrible messages one can get out of this season (and Game of Thrones in general) or go into more detail about how subversion and spoiler culture is ruining good storytelling, but I will say that it reads to me that because such a common theory before Season 8 was that Jaime was going to kill Cersei, D&D thought to themselves hmmm better not do that because that’s what people expect, and in wanting to shock and surprise they invalidated his growth and development by making him die with her. Oh look, D&D. So clever. Yet in stroking your ego you gave the people that once trusted you a taste of ashes. Like...people figuring out where things are going to go is actually GOOD storytelling. 

More so though, this will focus on how the episodes before this one were framed and how the tone was set up. Because watching episode 2, 3, and most of 4...they made me believe Braime was endgame. They really did. Then they turn it around and make me expect it was always Cersei? 

Utter garbage. Jaime was wronged. So was Brienne. that’s another post though. (so is Missandei, and Dany... and heck we can actually talk about who WASN’T wronged this season.) But with the Kingslayer, let’s get started and discuss how everything, literally everything, was set up in favor of Jaime’s redemption and endgame with Brienne, all for it to get, quite literally, squished.

(sorry if that was a bad joke considering)

Now into the meat and potatoes. First of all, let’s talk about Jaime’s look this season. Is he even blonde anymore?

Both he and Tyrion, who symbolically abandoned the Lannister crest seasons ago, sure aren’t sporting that golden blonde look anymore. I mean Tyrion kind of is, but compared to Cersei:

it’s nowhere near it for both these boys. (heck, I would even argue Jaime starts to lose his signature Lannister look when he meets Brienne.) However, if Season 7 Jaime chooses to hide his golden hand, the Jaime that walked into Winterfell with darkish hair, beard, and cute bangs is really, really removed from his Lannister golden lion look. Furthermore, he even said in 8 x 02 his golden lion days are done. Now why. Tell me WHY we do these things in the costuming department all to send him right back to the lioness? WHY

Now I said I wasn’t going to talk about the terrible themes and messages D&D are positing with this season, but I do have to say that considering episode 4, with Jon talking to his sibling-cousins, and Sansa, Arya and Bran’s discussion about not trusting people, and then Jaime going back to Cersei...the writers are really out here saying that family is all that matters. Literally all. And sure, I love my family, I have a great family. But sometimes, like with Jaime and Cersei, families are toxic. Sometimes the bonds you make with others that aren’t your family are more meaningful than the ones you have with blood. Sam and Jon are like brothers even though they’re not related, and Jaime’s bond with Brienne was far, far more meaningful than with Cersei. It was Brienne, not Cersei that elevated him into wanting to be a better man.

But lol, guess not. it’s like what that one guy from Aladdin yells at Aladdin, “YOU WERE BORN A STREET RAT, YOU WILL DIE A STREET RAT” except with Jaime it’s “YOU WERE BORN A LANNISTER YOU WILL DIE A LANNISTER” except Jaime didn’t get an Aladdin moment where he proves the snooty prince wrong--he just regressed and left his Jasmine all alone crying.

Another thing: ignoring the awful character growth invalidation, if Jaime was going to go back to Cersei just to be with her (and not kill her/convince her to stop as a lot of us, including me, thought in 8 x 04), there just wasn’t enough buildup for him to make this change in episode 4 come “The Bells.” He was happy with Brienne, smiling with Tyrion, (above gif) then he gets news from Sansa and he’s like nah I better bounce? I could buy Jaime thinking he has to save Cersei at least for the sake of the baby, an innocent life. I can even buy Jaime with a guilt complex, thinking he doesn’t deserve his happiness with Bri and it’s in his place to be by her side because of family and the things Tywin used to tell him...IDK there’s a lot we could speculate. But I cannot buy that the same man who walked out on Cersei in season 7 and then STAY AT WINTERFELL FOR A MONTH WITH BRIENNE would just be like...in the span of literally five show minutes with no real good explanation go nah it’s always Cersei when he showed it WASN’T. Now call me crazy, but this could have, could have been done in a believable way if we had seen the spiral. but we needed more with Jaime and Brienne, more hints with maybe his struggling to be happy but being guilty and him realizing he did have a child on the way, wanting to do better for that baby than they did to the others. Just a kind of ambiguous glance at Brienne after a session of sex (after their first time, which he was very enthusiastic about BTW) isn’t enough to convey such a drastic one eighty, nor is him looking pensive after another night with Brienne. (and you know they totally had oathsex that night. Bri was naked it looked like and she came out in robe.) 

Now had this happened, I would have still hated it for the terrible message about “always go back to your toxic family,” but it would have played out much more like a Shakespearean tragedy than a random and giant middle finger to Jaime’s arc and Brienne’s character for the sake of a subversion. And heck, I could have forgiven this too if “The Bells” played out differently, and Jaime, realizing Cersei is too far gone, does what we always thought he would do.

*sigh* 

Now let’s talk about him and Brienne and how it was filmed/framed. Now either I’m just naive or a big sap (truth to those statements), but it seemed to me that Braime was purposely filmed as though they were the OTP of this final stretch of Game of Thrones. episode 2-half of 4? this disaster human was all BRIENNE BRIENNE BRIENNE. All for it to go CERSEI CERSEI CERSEI. 

Episode 2 Jaime and episode 5 are not the same person, at all.  FROM THE VERY BEGINNING in episode 2, this man looked at Brienne of Tarth like she was the sun,the stars, his everything, casting glances at her during the whole “trial scene.” Talking to Tyrion, he plump ignored him to stare longingly at Brienne from the ramparts. He knighted her with such beautiful ceremony, and the way they looked at each other after? 

A knighting? A marriage? both? 

these people all think they’re going to die, but instead of lamenting Cersei, “all that’s mattered” at least according to “the bells,” (LOL) Jaime Lannister wants to give Brienne of Tarth this beautiful act of love. and symbolically marry her And then he looks at her and he’s THAT devoted and such a smitten kitten.  

Episode 3. He never left her side during the whole battle. He saved her, then she saved him. Then this shot:

and the other shot of them, fighting side by side? this is literally a fic trope. 

Ok so then the oathsex happens but before it happens, there’s a shot of oathkeeper in Brienne’s room, AKA the symbol of their bond and their love. Then they do it, and I know some people have mixed feelings about it, but I personally liked how it happened, even loved how it happened. It was awkward. Jaime said “I don’t want things growing on me” (though he’s made it pretty clear someone has grown on him, great line.) He liked it when she took charge. He reminded her it was a first time for him too. And then they have a kiss that really, in my opinion, culminates the years of bickering and sexual tension. It was my personal favorite GOT sexy scene, because it felt so real. He sleeps with her and they live like lovers for a month. They ARE lovers for a month or so.

and then he leaves and that look he gave her? 

that was the look of a man who thought he had to give up on his beloved. Not a man who didn’t love this woman anymore. He’s defeated and broken but he is not not in love.

basically, all the clues (and just THIS SEASON) led to Brienne being his true love. Not Cersei. In Jaime choosing Cersei over the woman who he looked at like he saw the sun not only has made the writers make some really unfortunate implications about toxic relationships, but they’ve also said that people can’t change. They’ve completely disrespected Brienne in the process, making her seem like she was just a blip on his radar... when she wasn’t. She was so much more. 

Now maybe all along, Jaime’s arc was not a redemption arc, but choosing who you want to be. Well, if that’s the case, it’s also a bad message. Apparently to D&D you can never change, you’re always doomed to head right back to square one, right back to “the things you do for love” and your toxic roots. If that’s the case then all Brienne was this season was a dangling carrot, a oh look what Jaime could have had if he wasn’t so addicted to Cersei.... sad sad SUBVERSION too bad he’s an ADDICT though! 

there’s no empathy. No respect. 

I have a bad feeling Bri’s pregnant too. And if that’s the case...if all this woman was supposed to do this season was carry the baby of a man who broke her heart just so the wheel wouldn’t truly break? They’re going to make Brienne just a vessel for a baby, making that Jaime’s “redemption?”

so in conclusion: I was not only infuriated because D&D invalidated so much growth in favor of witty subversion that’s not witty and actually tastes like ashes and proports a toxic message, but what was done tonally made no sense, because Braime was filmed like they were “right.” They also wrote a Jaime that’s more akin to Season One Episode One Jaime, and not the one that came to Winterfell because he made a promise.  

I have almost no hope he is alive, D&D said so... but hey stranger things have happened. Nik is being quiet and hasn’t said goodbye to his character like everyone else has whose died already, but maybe he’s just salty/had time to process what happened/just busy right now/ waiting until the last episode to make a final statement. I mean this guy is kind of a troll, but he’s a classy dude and did an amazing job. But if it’s true, if Jaime’s end was to die under a rock, to go deeper and kinda soften this, I do think the Jaime that “died,” wasn’t a Jaime that romantically wanted Cersei, but a Jaime who loved her, finally, like an actual brother and not...the stuff before. There was no kiss, just an embrace. Someone trying to make an ending not so scary. 

either way, I never expected or even wanted Jaime to survive Game of thrones until it freaking looked like that he was for a hot minute and get that good sweet ending with the one woman who he truly loved. But if he died,I wanted something better than what he got. I wanted Jaime to die as someone who did do something for love, but for a love that wasn’t a destructive one, or a regressive one. Not the same love as season one episode one, but a transformative love. Someone who did the right thing. For someone who made such an impact on so many people, he deserved better. 

And I hear rhetoric from some, mostly not on tumblr, that I should  have expected a fan favorite character like Jaime to get a shitty end, because GOT is about subversion. But GOT, above all, has to succeed as a satisfying story for the thing as a whole, and for the characters. It has to make sense. This makes NO sense. And Jaime, such an important character in the mythos, shouldn’t go out like that. Neither should Cersei TBH. She deserved more than standing by a window. 

George. Give Jaime better. Please. Not necessarily a ride into the sunset ending with the one who transformed him, but one where he knows he’s a better person and has been transformed. One where he knows he’s changed for the better.

*peace*

[mittensmorgul]

wheee monday! back to the tnt loop! 1.22 gives us a lot...

Bobby, most of all. And the beginning of our Good Practical Demon Knowledge. Not our Christo’s and our Two Part Exorcisms that make the demon wildly more dangerous before sending it to Hell. We learn that demons can keep otherwise dead or dying meatsuits alive, and exorcising them can kill the human trapped inside. We get all of this demonstrated for us via Meg. And we learn a bit more about where Dean’s ultimate moral lines are drawn:

Dean: Sam, there’s an innocent girl trapped somewhere in there. We’ve go to help her. Bobby (comes up to them): You’re gonna kill her. Dean: What? Bobby: You said she fell from a building. That girl’s body is broken. The only thing keeping her alive is that demon inside. You exorcise it – that girl is going to die. Dean: Listen to me, both of you, we are not gonna leave her like that. Bobby: She is a human being. Dean: And we’re gonna put her out of her misery. Sam, finish it.

(which will become interesting again in 4.02... the things they didn’t know at the time literally coming back to haunt them in new and bigger ways because of something new they’re just learning about... which is exactly what makes the spiral narrative spin. The same thing over and over again isn’t interesting, they need to keep leveling up, being forced to build on their knowledge and understanding and applying it to the next degree of cosmic problem, only to learn some more and compound their understanding, only to level up yet again.)

We also learn what’s “normal” for the supernatural world:

Bobby: Normal year, I hear of, say, three demonic possessions. Maybe four, tops. Dean: Yeah? Bobby: This year I hear of 27 so far. You get what I’m saying? More and more demons are walking among us – a lot more. Sam: Do you know why? Bobby: No, but I know it’s something big. The storm’s coming, and you boys, your Daddy – you are smack in the middle of it.

Heck they so did not want this, nor ask for it.

We still don’t really understand Azazel’s motives in possessing/kidnapping John outside of the fact he now needs to reverse his trap, use what he does have, and hope Sam and Dean are just as unable to resist saving John as he was to save them. In the most immediate terms, he just needed the Colt off the playing field. (heh, was he gonna store it in Ramiel’s armory for safekeeping I wonder, or just flat-out destroy it like Dagon did?)

We get our first “whoops they killed a dog, so they’re now irredeemable” when Meg shows up at Bobby’s and kills his dog. (cue 13 years of “Dean is a dog” imagery)

We also get both Meg and Azazel taunting Sam and Dean over the fact that they killed Mary:

Meg: Jeez. You kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh wait, I forgot, you don’t.

and

John/YED: What? You’re the only one that can have a family? You destroyed my children. How would you feel if I killed your family? (he smiles at Dean) Oh, that’s right. I forgot. I did. Still, two wrongs don’t make a right.

And they’re not wrong... for all we learn about Dean’s personal moral code, we also learn his exception:

Dean: Killing that guy, killing Meg. I didn’t hesitate, I didn’t even flinch. For you or Dad, the things I’m willing to do or kill, it’s just, uh .... it scares me sometimes. John: It shouldn’t. You did good. Dean: You’re not mad? John: For what? Dean: Using a bullet. John: Mad? I’m proud of you. You know, Sam and I, we can get pretty obsessed. But you – you watch out for this family. You always have. Dean: Thanks.

When “John” asks for the Colt a moment later, this is where Dean draws another line. He knows it’s not John. In the standoff, “John” and Dean play a weird game of “calling the puppy to them” when Sam questions what’s going on, why Dean has the Colt pointed at “John.”

Tell me this doesn’t sound EXACTLY like 14.20:

Sam: Dean? What the hell’s going on? John: Your brother’s lost his mind. Dean: He’s not Dad. Sam: What? Dean: I think he’s possessed. I think he’s been possessed since we rescued him. (He starts to get upset.) John: Don’t listen to him, Sammy. Sam: Dean, how do you know? Dean (fighting back tears): He’s .... he’s different.

vs

SAM: Our entire lives. Mom, Dad -- everything. This is all you because you wrote it all, right? Because -- Because what? Because we're your favorite show? Because we're part of your story? CHUCK: Okay, Dean, no offense, but your brother is stupid and crazy. And that kid is still dangerous. So pick up the gun. Pick it up... pull the trigger... and I'll bring her back. Your mom. DEAN: No. (Dean takes a few steps back to stand side by side with Sam)

“Your brother’s lost his mind” about Dean, vs “your brother is stupid and crazy” about Sam. Both times, Dean holding Magical Kill Everything Guns and pointing them at yellow-eyed monsters. Dean facing killing his father in 1.22, and someone he considers a son in 14.20. And he couldn’t do it either time, not to get revenge, not to kill the current concept of “Ultimate Evil and Danger” to the world. And yet another parallel between John and Chuck, even if this was actually Azazel speaking here he was using John’s face to do it. This is the archetype of “toxic fatherhood” in the narrative from the jump.

Dean does get one good comeback in:

John: You know, you fight and you fight for this family, but the truth is they don’t need you. Not like you need them. Sam – he’s clearly John’s favorite. Even when they fight, it’s more concern than he’s ever shown you. Dean: I bet you’re real proud of your kids, too, huh? Oh wait, I forgot. I wasted ‘em.

And then after this bit of mental torture, because this is psychological torture for Dean here, the physical torture kicks in. The wounds look shockingly similar, in retrospect, to the ones the hellhound leaves on Dean in 3.16, claw marks down his chest. And both times, Dean is unwilling to kill the person he loves to stop the larger evil thing.

This is also our very first instance of what we’ve come to refer to as a “crypt scene.” Breaking through demonic possession or other mind control to reach a loved one. For a complete rundown, including a description of this scene in that context, please have the very long and complicated history here (excellent reading, btw. Click through the read more for the entire original post and then the s12+ additions in this reblog):

https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/167800948433/elizabethrobertajones-so-basically-you-cant

Just another thread of the big narrative spiral getting broken in 14.20.

And not related to anything I’ve said above, but because heh I find this amusing  as heck, just as a weird... production wtf. At the scene outside the Sunrise apartments, there’s two men (one man in the crowd of bystanders and one of the firemen he approaches) who it looks like they were scripted to be possessed by demons in this scene. Both men open their mouths and gasp at the supposed moment of possession. But we don’t see any smoke crawling down their throats. I figure it’s because it was the VFX crew who realized it was implausible for random smoke to be floating around outside a supposed scene of a fire in broad daylight, without drawing any sort of attention from anyone in the crowd. So instead of these demons simply “activating” and coming to the surface of the people they’ve already been possessing, we get this weird “invisible possession” gasp. Because of who I am as a person, my brain has decided these two people were already possessed, but the demons inside them were lying dormant until they were called up for service, like a couple of understudies being told they’re finally getting to take the stage. And they’re both inordinately delighted by this, to the point they do the lil “gasp of excited glee:”

ME?! YOU WANT  LIL OL’ ME TO HELP?! *omg okay this is actually happening, we are really doing this, i’m readY I’M READY I’M READY!*

alrighty then, moving on to season two now :’)

[facepalming-since-chernobyl]

Can we talk about how Lena was never trully good and piss off my stalkers?

Let’s start with her early life, shit taken from her fabulous Arrowverse Wikia page, written by a hormonal, brainwashed kid with Lena’s panties in a skull:

Aside of the dumb as fuck plot to kill her “Irish” Mother So CW Can Stop Wasting Money On Lena’s Actress Accent Coach, this was said by Lena, Age 20 Something. Where is the problem? Lena,  Age 20 Something is old enough, and so called genius, to understand that her 4 year old ass couldn’t do a shit in that situation (well, she could drown along wiith her mother *stares longingly at the wasted potential*). So, Lena The Age 20 Something tells this traumatasing for everyone’s ears story to make herself look sympathetic. Or she is super fucking dumb, but the writers try to tell us she is a so called genius. Ouch.

Planning a shit for months that in the end RUINS someone’s life and “regrets” it (*Len a sniffs, wipping her tears with a silky handkerchief that is worth 1500$*) is well, a perfect example of a future sociopath. Also, notice how she still remembers how Lilian was proud of her. Aka destroying someone’s life maybe was a bad thing to do, but her adoptive mother was PROUD of her. This is an example of what is the most important thing for Lena - her EGO and constant praise of her HORRIBLE adoptive mother.

You won’t find it on wikia page (wonder why *sarcasm*) that Lena threw a microscope at Jack - her boyfriend, what is hey!, a violent, abusive, toxic behavior!

Aka Lena The Snowflake Queen has NEVER stood behind a man... only behind Lex’s back... as long as he was in the picture...and she became the CEO of LuthorCorp only after... he was out of the picture... because....that’s the easiest shit to do. And she ceased contact with Lilian... because she GOT WHAT SHE WANTED. Earlier she didn’t mind Lilian and Lex’ shady shit and did nothing to stop that, huh? Wonder why. This is called not standing behind men’s back. Brothers are not men, I guess?

Insted of kicking the young mother to her home, to spend time with her daughter, Lena The Slave Driver (too soon? :) and The White Face Of Aggressive Capitalism gives her a blessing. And this article suggests that everything what Sam achived was all to Lena, not her own abilities. Feminism, yay!

Because who cares about people’s privacy when they are not humans but some alien scum, right? You can’t ask for people’s believes or sexuality but can easily check your neighbour origin! Yay! Who cares that alienphobes would buy it for horrible reasons? Because moneeeey, moneeeeey, moneeeeey! 

Btw, remember how Lena was pissed off at Rhea, because she was ALIEN? It was not because the lie, it was because dear Rhea was alien, so hello ALIENPHOBIC Lena :D Also, Lena ignored Rhea lied to her and just followed The Daxamite Queen like a lost puppy only because Rhea praised her ass. Lena was easily manipulated, because oh her mommy and ego issues xD Cheer for the genius!

Btw, remember how big damage the Phorians did to National City BECAUSE of Lena’s exeperiments with the portal? And again, she didn’t face any consequecens. 

Remember how  because of this portal she can stop starvation blah blah blah? Well, nah, it’s all about her ego. And after Daxamite invasion, what she has done about that starvation? NADA :’) She proved her portal works, who cares about the rest.

What happens next? A hostile Daxamite army invades USA THANKS TO LENA and... nothing happens. How many people died? How many buildings were destroyed? Did Snowflake Lena meet any consequences? Did they accuse her of being a TRAITOR? She is not a traitor, her brainwashed minions say. Yeah? Think about Snowden and Assange. And now you can laugh.

Then she spreads lead into atmosphere and yep, nothing happens. Weirdly, no other country is pissed off that some American bitch spread fucking lead all over whole fucking world. Who cares, American capitalism! *Afghanistan, Iraq, South American countries, Vietnam, South Korea stare into the void*

Lena buys CatCo ONLY to keep her name clean and - Money, money money!

Plus, Lena reveals she didn’t talk with Kara for months (friendship goals! pure heart! friendship over work!).

Few things here:

1)during it, Edge’s bodyguard was killed, what means that Lena getting what she wants is more important than random people lives

2)she did that on a gala, full of innocent, not aware of the danger people. She purposely put them in the danger

3)getting that record of Edge’s confession was absolutely illegal and any judge would fucking die hearing how she got it

4)she corrupted Kara to do this shit

5)cried about how ONLY her friends keep her from crossing a line - bitch, you already crossed that and your friends should take your ass to a psychologist, lol

6) did i mention that Edge’s BODYGUARD WAS KILLED?

(And now a short break for a laugh:

My poor Lena’s phone! What have you done to piss Sam so much? :((((( )

Also hey, Lena is a gun lover. 

During this time, Lena was experimenting on Sam. Alone. Not telling anyone. Because you know, EGO issues. She told DEO only when her ass was satrting to burn.

We are glad that Lena’s stans are aware she constantly LIE and loves EXCUSES of her shitty actions. KUDOS, guys!

Also yeaaaah, I reluctantly intend to tell my father I destroyed his fave  set of stamps. Someday. But after 10 years he is still not aware so maybe, not today, yeah.

Also, Lena plays the “innocent victim” when she reveals she produces Kryptonite. That can be used only to kill Kryptonians, but she doesn’t see why Supergirl is so pissed off. It’s not like it’s some 100% deadly weapon for Kara Zor El and her cousin. Calm down your tits, Supergirl, ok? Every day Lena can choke to death eating fucking avocado and she doesn’t throw tantrums about it!

And then Lena basically used Harun-El for her own experiments. Did she tell Alura she stole some of it? Nah. Did she inform anyone about her experiments? Naah. Why when she can play a god?

Remmeber Ben Lockwood? That horribly written bad guy? Who turned evil because Lena The Capitalistic Bitch Who Swims In Money didn’t help his father’s bancrupting factory? Becasue:

When you think about, if Lena wouldn’t have been a white typical American aggressive capitalistic bitch focused on making money and doing illegal experiments, there hadn’t been Agent Liberty. I think it’s hilarious. Lena wants to “help” the world *cough* by polluting it? *cough*  by some fucking useless portals, while all she needs to do is helping people and saving their buisness :D

Then we have some sweet talk including Lena and her so called friends, about powering up humans. And we clearly see that Lena wants to play a god, because of her EGO. Who decides who is good enough to be powered up? Lena. Who holds the power to make humans superpowered? Lena. Who doesn’t say a shit about these experiments and doing it in secret? Lena. 

And here comes our poor young Adam. Adam, who is depressed because of his brother’s death and driven by guilt. And Lena, for some fucking reason, choses him. UHM? And then, even if she KNOWS this experiment is deadly (no SANE scientist allows human trials when the possibility of death is higher than 1% - (you have animal trials for it for fuck’s sake), that is a FACT, in Lena’s case it was about 40%? or even more). But he filled the aplication! Yeah, and this makes it legal, LOL. But Lena wanted to stop it and he FORCED her to keep doing! Yeaaaaaah, depressed, driven by guilt kid forced poor innocent Lena to kill him. Holy crap! Lena! You poor baby!!!!

No shit guys, LENA IS MURDERER. And she doesn’t tell anyone, becasuse she knows it was illegal.

But! But! But! GOVERMENT knows! She works for them!!! Yeah, she works for alienphobic goverment and Ben Lockwood, what can go wrong?! :DDDD

And then, she basically saved a mass murderer and helped him escape.

How the FUCK her ass is not rotting in jail is a mystery, but I guess when you are a white loaded American capitalist you can do whatever shit you want and won’t meet consequecnes of your actions. 

And now cheer for Lena The Snowflake Queen Luthor stans who love her and don’t see a one single thing in her doings - it’s good to be murderer’s apologist, huh? :D

(all caps taken from Lena’s wikia page -> x)

I want to dedicate this post to my stalkers aka KramReceipt crowd from twitter - please, be more butthurt in the future, I have more ideas to expose your Snowflake Queen ;*

Also

[mtvswatches]

Wynonna Earp 1x03 Leavin’ On Your Mind

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Stray thoughts

1) I already ship this… Is this a thing? Please, don’t tell me!

I can’t really tell if Wynonna is truly being flirtatious or if this is her way of figuring him out because she doesn’t trust him. I mean, you can be attracted to someone who you don’t trust, so there’s that.

2) Oh, wow, don’t you just hate it when you’re fumbling with your bag and a bloody chopped off hand falls and everyone sees it? #awkward

So what do these guys need Dixon’s diary for? And why are they carrying a chopped hand around as if it was a freaking tampon?

3) So… revenants just have a thirst for murder? I haven’t seen them feeding off anyone, but they do seem to get off on killing people right?

4) Sounds like Giles…

5) Ha!

6) Oh shit indeed!

7)

DOC: “Bravery” is just a fancy word for “stupid”.

I predict I’ll see him do tons of stupid things, then.

8) Yep, Doc is definitely giving me Spike vibes…

9) The guy’s hand is being chopped off and all Wynonna can think is that he’s going to miss his bus!!

10) Okay, so these revenants need three things – the voice of a mute, the hand of an innocent murderer, and something else paradoxical – to perform a spell that will let them out of the limits of the Ghost River Triangle. Cool, cool, cool.

11) Waverly is quite clever, actually. She has figured out “Henry’s” fib, but instead of calling him out on it, she’s playing along to see what else she can get out of him. Like, why is he pretending to be someone he isn’t?

12) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, how convenient… Wynonna decides to visit her dad’s and sister’s graves at the same time the revenant is trying to find something for the spell…

13) “Look at that body. I call dibs!” I’m guessing he’s not talking about fucking him, right? So, he’s either going to kill him or eat him. Or… Can revenants switch bodies?

14)

DOLLS: Give this to whoever's in charge. And…

WYNONNA: Never get into a vehicle, never move to a second location.

DOLLS: You've been in a hostage situation before?

WYNONNA: Sort of…

What does this mean? And why is she smirking? Was she a hostage or did she hold someone hostage? I need to know!

15) Dolls keeps giving me Giles vibes, but then again, Giles would never do this with Buffy…

16) I’m guessing Waverly is going to get super pissed at Wynonna putting herself in danger without even considering how this could affect her sister… (edit: Never mind, she didn’t get pissed because of this, she just wanted in on the action.)

17) They’re not releasing all the hostages because they need three of them… Three humans? For the spell, right?

18) Oh… so this is why Bobo is the Big Boss…

DOC: See, unlike your type, I can roam far and wide. Although from what I hear around your little enclave, some of your cronies, oh, they're itching to wander too.

BOBO: Well, they can try, but the only way out of the Triangle is with me.

19) So, this “Stone Witch” is the woman Doc was trying to find on the newspapers? And knowing her name gives you some sort of power? Is that why Bobo can walk out of the boundaries? Was she the one who put the spell that set the boundaries in the first place? So many questions! 

20) So the Stone Witch chose these three backward revenants to perform the spell… They said they needed three of them… are they going to switch bodies with humans so that they can walk outside the boundaries of Ghost River Triangle? Could that be?

21) What kind of life has Wynonna been living, though? How does she know how to open a fucking safe?

22) Waverly has figured it out, right?

Is this the name of the Stone Witch? And why is she called the Stone Witch?

23) Doc is acting all tough and trying to humiliate and scare Waverly, but I bet her words will resonate with him…

WAVERLY: I know what you're supposed to be. You're supposed to be a hero. You're supposed to be Wyatt Earp's best friend! You're supposed to be here to help us! 

I don’t want my instincts to be wrong about him. I really hope he turns out to be one of those morally ambiguous characters who eventually choose to fight the good fight.

24) So a loveless heart was the third item… Rather poetic…

25) Okay, so they needed the three hostages to use them as shields, forget all my previous speculation.

26)

REVENANT: You know Marty here's been put down three times?

WYNONNA: Third-generation revenant?

REVENANT: Three times down south, you'd go a little psychotic too.

I really like this tidbit of mythology, how the revenants get more evil with each reincarnation. It makes sense, too. Spending that much time in Hell, and then being back… I would also be hella pissed at those who sent me down there. I also wonder if we will meet revenants who’ve been put down more than three times. How evil can you get, you know?

27) Okay, so they’re only doing the spell for the Stone Witch so that she will let them out of the boundaries. I guess I suck at predicting storylines, good.

28) Well, I didn’t mention this before but I swear on my dog that I did know Wynonna would be carrying a GPS device or a microphone or something…

29) DAMN IT I WAS RIGHT!!!

REVENANT: The old man's not gonna make it. Cowboy's the only good one left.

WYNONNA: That's why you need Champ's body? For some sort of, like, possession?

CHAMP: What? In my body?! Wynonna, I don't even put gluten in this!

WYNONNA: Then you can walk across the line in human form.

(BTW, I loved Champ’s gluten line)

30) I DIED!

31) I’m sorry, Shorty, but it totally made sense for him to be the one to suck in the revenant’s “soul” or whatever. He was about to die, after all.

32) “Give me straight-up death instead of being sent to hell and back over and over.” This totally makes sense. I wonder if there are revenants who actually feel like this, who would prefer to be put down forever – even if forever means forever in hell – rather than being brought back every few years or so only to be sent back to hell again, rinse and repeat. I mean, being teased with life on earth – even if you’re an evil demon – only to have it taken away from you time and again…? It somehow seems more hellish than hell itself…

33) Dolls tried to shoot Sam but the gun didn’t work. Does that mean that Wynonna is literally the only person who can shoot it? And what made him think he could use it? 

34) I guess we’re not meeting the Stone Witch today…

35) Ouch, my feels…

36) When will Waverly dump Champ, though? It doesn’t make sense for her to be with this douche?

37) Hmmm, Dolls is sounding more and more like Giles… (and Wynonna is sounding a lot like Buffy, btw…)

WYNONNA: The hell took you so long?

DOLLS: I was always there. But I just needed to see if they could actually do it.

WYNONNA: Even if it meant Shorty had to die?

DOLLS: Collateral damage. This is a war. You want to avenge your sister and your dad, right? And this is what victories… might have to look like.

WYNONNA: And what about our failures?

Hmm, this also raises another question. Not only was he waiting to see if the revenants could pull off the spell, but he also tried to shoot Wynonna’s gun. Given his pragmatical mentality, I’m guessing he was testing out if Wynonna was actually dispensable. If he could use the gun himself, then Wynonna was expendable. If something were to happen to her, then he could carry on without a hiccup. I wonder if these different views will make them collide.

38) I’ve got to say, I’d be disappointed if this hadn’t been her response…

With all the shit I've done in my life Dolls, working with you I don't think I can look in the mirror.

This is the hero mentality, heroes need to believe wars can be won without “collateral damage”, they need to believe they can save everyone, that is what drives them. But I’m sure that this won’t be the last time this mentality is tested, and I’m guessing Wynonna will need to make other sacrifices or be forced to walk a grey moral line...

39) Ugh, fucking Doc…

DOC: The fact is, I have not properly introduced myself. You can tell your sister she is right. I am… was friends with your great-great-grandpappy. My name is John Henry, but most people just called me Doc.

WYNONNA: "Doc"? Doc Holliday?

DOC: Wynonna Earp, I am at your disposal.

WYNONNA: Well, shit.

He’s a conniving son of a bitch, isn’t he? He only came clean because Waverly had already figured out who he was, but he did it in a way that made it look like he beat Waverly to the punch (that’s why he tells Wynonna to tell her sister that “she was right.”) Besides, introducing himself as a friend of their great-great-grandfather automatically establishes a bond between them, even some trust. He is saying, “hey, you can trust me, I’m here to help you.”

However, he’s obviously doing Bobo’s bidding – this is exactly what Bobo asked him to do. I do have a feeling Doc is the type of character who would do what others tell him if it’s beneficial for him but who can also very quickly switch sides if it suits him better, you know? I think, for now, he’s playing it by ear to see what and who will benefit him more.

The thing is, for now, he’s playing Wynonna. So I feel I’ll have to hate him a little bit before he makes me love him.

Who am I kidding? I already love him, but you know what I mean, right?

40) This episode definitely felt more Monster-of-the-Week than the previous two, but I still felt enough things were introduced in order to build the season arc – the Stone Witch and Doc’s identity being revealed. Can’t wait to watch the next one!

41) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[bamby0304]

Bamby Reacts- SPN 14x01

Okay, so... I know I was gonna wait for it to come on TV but I lost... and won at the same time, ‘cause I watched Supernatural 14x01!! I wasn’t gonna do anything like this, but the second I saw Sam I knew I had to write my reactions down, so here we go :):)

Below the cut is a little bit of complaining about Danneel (don’t get me wrong, though, I like her), some curse words, and obviously spoilers. Also... it’s a long post...

So… the ‘previously’ thing ends and I see Sam and I actually made a noise and quivered. Like… fuck me… holy shit… my insides everywhere vibrated…

And then I realised he’s driving Baby and my heart broke…

MICHAEL!DEAN

Fuck me, Jensen needs to talk in other languages more often.

I’ve got literal chills and I’m only… 3:04 into the ep.

I just wanna mount him…

Now that ^ that’s out of the way… I shall continue.

"Gabriel?", "The other one. The better one." - Now, now, Mikey, lying is a sin, you know.

I mean, at least the guy didn’t say Lucifer… that would have been hilarious!!

"What do you want?" - Dean, you ass.

Ooh!! Ooh!! I like the title card!!

I don’t know if it’s all the fics I’ve read… but I don’t think I can trust Ketch, no matter how much Mary believes in him.

Sam’s taking charge out of the bedroom… it’s hot.

I love Maggie.

BOBB-EH!!

Who is this douche in glasses??

"Castiel, darling." - BARFF

DOUCHEBAG IS A DE-MON!!

"Joined at the… you know… everything." - again, I say… BARFF

Oh God and the slurping… hurry up and die, douchebag.

"I’ll speak slower" - I love you Cas.

"You will tell me everything you know, or I will burn you to ash. Right here and right now." - in that raspy tone… jeez, Cas, let a girl breathe.

Question, though… why couldn’t Cas see all the demon faces??

"CAS!! NO!!" is what I yelled when they started punching him.

Ooh!! Pretty church windows!!

Sister Jo… look, I’m not not a fan of Danneel… but I kinda wish Supernatural was a Dani free place. I know, it’s not fair and I sound stupid, but bringing Danneel into it kind makes me feel awks about loving Dean so much. I swear, if they get down and dirty, I may actually throw a fit or cry. Just sayin’.

But, also, I actually think Danneel is gorg and sweet… I just want Dean to myself :)

"Hey Jo” - am I the only one who thinks she should have been called Judy so Michael could have said, "Hey Jude" instead??

"You don’t recognise me with this pretty face?" - at least we know Michael isn’t blind.

Oh… shit… Michael is pretty…

How turned on do you think Jensen and Danneel got in this scene?? ‘Cause the way he’s looking at her… I don’t think that’s all Michael.

"What do you want?”

IF YOU KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS, WHY FUCKING ASK?!?!

He says ‘human’ like it’s a dirty word…

Ooh!! He’s awake (I already know who it is, but I’m still intrigued)

Sam stepping up and taking on the role of caring for Jack… that conversation… it felt very father-son like

Side note: Jack’s hair looks nice this season.

You can do it, Sammy :) xx

Oh, the look on Sam’s face is breaking my heart, honestly…

"Oh, hey Sam,” sounds too fucking much like Lucifer. Cut that shit out, Nick!!

I know a lot of people don’t read The Hart, and even if you do you guys don’t know what happens throughout the seasons, but the shit Lizzie goes through with Lucifer… I can’t look at Nick right now.

At least Nick knows what happened. I think… I think it’s better that way.

“Must be weird, you looking at me and seeing him." - understatement.

Good job, Sammy!! I’m proud of you :) xx

One second this dude has a southern accent, the next it’s a little British… how many demons are in that meat suit?? Or is this a dissociative identity disorder kinda deal??

Mary: It’s a trap. Sam: Yep. Me: Good job you two.

“He just told you he’s a demon?", "Yeah. Seemed pretty proud of it, too." - of course he did. He’s a douchebag.

Sam has gum in his mouth and I’m pretty sure it’s Jared’s, not his.

Jack stating, "I’m coming, too” made me laugh out loud, literally.

"Castiel you sure I can’t get you hot… and black?” - is… is he insinuating what I think he’s insinuating?? He’s… he’s making a move on Cas. What a d-bag.

Ah, yes, the roll of Castiel’s eyes. Perfection!!

Oh no *literal groan* do I have to listen to his childhood story or some shit now?? Really?? The villain speech??

Oh. My. Fucking. God. He’s seen Michael.

The three d’s and the Douchebag!! Should be a band name.

Wait, wait wait!! Let me guess!! He wants to be the new King of Hell??

"And? What is it?” - Castiel, I love you.

“Everything”

Sam’s voice is breaking and so is my heart!!

“Michael could have burned him out, or worse.” - I was going to say there’s nothing worse… but then I remembered what Lucifer put Sam through, and everything Gadreel did while in Sam, and yeah. Yeah there’s worse.

I’m not a huge Mary fan, but her determination to continue to fight for Dean is swaying me.

The guy walking up to Sam… is he leering?? I don’t blame you dude, but don’t objectify my man, ‘kay??

I swear d-bag has had 20 different accents in less than 30 minutes -.-

@crispychrissy​ yeah, I agree… that guy patting Sam down… I would love to be in his shoes. ‘Whoops… my hand slipped.’

It’s Sam Fucking Winchester, thank you very much, d-bag.

HE PUSHED MY SAMM-EH!!

“The shoulders. The hair. Mm-mmm.” - d-bag isn’t blind either

“You are my Beyonce." - Right-o mate, settle down there.

“I don’t damage the merchandise.” - HAVE YOU NOT SEEN HIS FACE, DOUCHEBAG?!?!

Sam gives zero fucks.

"Let’s make a deal.” - you’re dead.

And then Sam frowns and I swoon and yeah, it was a good time.

"I’m a demon. That’s what we do.” - I instantly started humming Katy Perry’s This is How We Do

Him tapping on the chair… Imma rip that finger off and shove it in his ass in a second.

"Barbarian.” - excuse me?? Weren’t you just talking about eating babies?? And do not talk about my Sammy like that.

"What do you want?” - is there a broken record player somewhere??

"Asmodeus Kentucky fried." - finally he came up with something good!!

Sam interrupting him is a big turn on.

By the way, I’m currently a little lonely, so everything Sam and Michael does is a turn on right now. Sorry, not sorry.

"Yes you do. Or you will.” - IS THAT A THREAT, MOTHER FUCKER?!?!

Now, while I don’t want there to be a king, if there was going to be one he would be on the bottom of my list of candidates.

"I want to work with you, Sam.” - this guy is an idiot

Don’t talk to Cas like you’re a threat. I will squash you like a bug.

Sam and Dean never turned their backs on demon activity… they just got… busy.

"We never gave Crowley that deal.” - Ooh!! Called it!!

Don’t fucking insult Crowley, Douchebag. You have no right. No foot to stand on. In fact, Imma cut those feet off and give those shoes to a Hellhound if you don’t shut up. Puppy could use a chew toy.

“I would eat your heart.” - YOU WOULD STARVE!!

"I’m not afraid of you.” - You should be.

"No.” - oh Sam you know how to turn a girl on!

This guy does a lot of talking…

BOBB-EH!! D:

SAMM-EH!! D:

"Balls.” - it’s all good!! Bobby’s fine!!

"Stab them with the pointy end.” - does Maggie watch Game of Thrones??

NO!! D-BAG HAS THE KNIFE!! D:

Sam looks nice in that jacket, btw

YAY!! D-Bag is dead!!

“There will be no new King of Hell.”

“And if anyone wants the job, you can come through me.” - oh baby, don’t tempt me.

So turned on right now.

Poor Jack…

Cas is just too much right now!!

*gasp* UNKNOWN CALLING!!

Oh.. it’s just Jo.

[katzenflocken]

LA Times

I went to a Halloween party in October and I wrote down my experience in my phone.

A month or so ago I had made the decision that I wanted to attend a Halloween event and ultimately I decided on scream in Edmonton. I had bought the pre-sale ticket without actually knowing who was playing since there was no lineup details but this didn't concern me because I just wanted to go have fun and listen to some jams with cool people. I had calculated the cost of bus and hotel and came up to roughly 700 for a comfortable trip with all the best food/mixed drinks at the show. I had already had my own party favors so this was one of the reasons why I wanted to keep it local in Alberta. But then the lineup got released and I only seen one artist that was potentially going to be "okay" after listening to their SoundCloud. I was feeling very on the fence and on top of that, the party only went until 2am which was making it real hard to justify a long boring ass bus ride for a short night of mostly lame edm music. (No offense to the edm enthusiasts out there)

After some Olympic tier mental gymnastics of being so sure I wanted to go to Scream, I got curious and went to the handy dandy Resident Advisor and looked at shows in Alberta then Vancouver, even Toronto. I didn't see any events I was interested in and I left it at that. Then I got the brilliant and brave idea to possibly venture outside our borders, and a few clicks later I stumbled upon louisahhh's upcoming events and noticed she was playing a show along with boys noize and tbh, it was a no brainer. I had to make this happen. After a few calculations, it was literally going to cost the same as going to Edmonton (600 cdn) but with more spending money required in American. So naturally it was 💯 percent the logical choice. The event was called Minimal Effort which was an all techno show with 4 stages. Like holy shit! This event was most definitely calling my name.

I had told family and a few friends and some them ask me why? I've already vacationed once or twice this year so why a third time? I really don't know why, there is no reason. I just like doing these things. It is true that given the current situation, I better to avoid these such things. but the idea of letting someone's words prevent me from doing something so fun and exciting yet so doable drives me mad. In fact this very idea is what makes it so evident that I am in control of my life. I create the reality I live in and why should I let others shape it for me with manipulating opinions. I would argue I am not living to die, I am dying to live. Personally I don't think it's very odd or strange to do exactly what you put your mind to, so it is in such a context that I wanted to make this trip. I hope people see what I do and feel encouraged or empowered. If I can do it you can too. But everyone isnt me and is open to their own opinion.

So my passport is lightly damaged, a few months after I got it I washed it lol whoops. I've been using it since without incident and it expires pretty quick in early 2019 so I felt confident I will make it on the plane and I did! I flew air Canada btw and their service was very meh. There was also some meean turbulence, other than that it was boring. Planes suck ass and I can't sleep on them. I had bought a roaming plan so I can text and use Google maps like a real Traveller. This was the best decision of the whole trip actually, so get ur phones working guys!

Upon landing I was very nervous because I literally didn't want to pay a lot of money to get downtown where my hostel was. But I asked this Tony hawk looking guy he gave me the rundown and to take the skyaway bus which was like 9 dollars. Hella life saver! I got downtown and got Subway spicy chicken wrap at Union station. Now I taxi'd to my hostel... It was near or in the ghetto. When the man dropped me off it was dark and these yuuuge dogs were jumping at me from the other side of the fence, confirming my suspicion that this is in fact the ghetto. I find the property next door and these dudes are smoking outside, I got their attention and they said to go upstairs and talk to "Champaign". In my head I instantly thought a black drug dealer... But then I was greeted by a slim easy going japanese dude with a samurai ponytail who spoke poor English but still had a friendly vibe. Turns out he is the cook/caretaker. I came on the night they had a dinner party that they hold once a month. Pay 10 dollars and you can eat the food that he was cooking. Champaign cooked for a army and I felt like an asshole because I literally came with a belly full of Subway. I had a few snacks and met the other Traveller's/Tennant's that were residing here. In that exact moment I felt like this is exactly where I needed to be. I was not alone and I was amongst other human beings like myself and we were all brought together by an unknown force all so Champaign can go to bed we knowing no one went to bed hungry. I actually passed out after midnight. Kinda lame but tbh I was wiped out from that hectic almost frantic trip to this hostel. The toppest compliment I give to any hotel/hostel is that this place had the best mattress, apparently they were italian (I asked lol).

Saturday (party day). My goal in the afternoon was to adventure and have a decent meal but it was getting off to a slow start due to me not figuring out where I wanted to go. I was recommended business district and looked up reviews but it was all meh. I want that yummy and probably unhealthy local food locations. The guy also said to take an Uber. Which I was like uhhhhhh iduno man... Maybe. Then as I was just getting ready to leave, this korean guy named Sam asked where I was going and he said "you should check out Korea Town, it's dope!!" And I looked up places and he said "no go here!" And I was like okay. Then he said he'll come with me and show me around after he finishes the laundry. Like a good lad I waited and in between he looked at me and whispered "hey do you do... Stuff" and there are a lot of implications there lol so I had to ask like what? And he pulled a little baggie and my reply was "yeah I like stuff" then did it and the kid lit up like a Christmas tree. He was mad hype folding the towels and then him and Champaign blazed downstairs.

One of the most fascinating yet mundane happenings was that I installed Uber on my phone. While those guys were blasting off I went ahead and gave the Uber a good historic first whirl. Little did I know my life was about to change in that exact moment. In 2 minutes after selecting where I wanted to go the driver was there. Holy shit! The cool part was that I only paid 8 dollars to go to the opposite side of the downtown. I wish I can expand on what I did, but tbh all we did was just walk and talk. It was great because it made me feel more immersed in to the city. Kind of like you had to be there type of experience. Then it was food time, he pointed out a Korean joint and I got a meal and he didn't order anything and then like 10 sides came and then 6 more little plates for the main dish. I told Sam he can have some because this is absurd. As we were eating, I slowly gazed around the place and everyone was just a little bit chubby. Sam told me Koreans don't waste their shit and eat as much as possible... Plus it's America lol. After eating like an animal and totally ruining my white shirt we went to get smokes and the line at 711 was almost way too long. Sam pointed out that everyone was powerballin' it... Then upon paying for the smokes and soda I said "one Powerball please". I had caved in and joined the race. We took an Uber back and the driver was a Mexican mom. She was cute in a grandma kind of way and we talked about there should be a "good news" radio because it's so scary listening to the radio. We laughed and laughed some more while Sam had fell into a Korean BBQ coma.

We get back to the hostel, Sam goes back to work and I have about an hour to get ready/nap before the party. Sam asked if I needed party favors and I took him up on his offer, because I hate asking at parties because it's so sketchy. At this point of the trip I realized everything is going 110% right. Sometimes I feel like I am just lucky because I always find myself in surprising situations and that now it's almost normal to me. My body and mind was totes ready to party, then I almost forget... I have stickers!!! I always have some in my bag and I grabbed at least 50 of them. People always love that shit, plus it makes everything more fun by adding another layer to the party... Lol get it? Layer?!? Aaanyways the one girl showed me how to work the door lock, basically it's an app that registers my phone to the deadbolt... What a game changer! Technology huh?! What a cool place! Then the Uber came and took like 4 dollars to get there, I think I can get used to this LA lifestyle if I ever had the chance. The dude dropped me off and I was proper nervous, made sure to hide my shit good and have my ID, ticket and game face ready because there was like 8 security in front... Also I am a pretty nervous person in general, I may seem cool and collected on the outside but on the inside I am a scared little shaking Chihuahua barking internally.

So I finally made it! All my hard work payed off! The weird thing was the guy didn't even look at my ticket, just my ID. Any Yahoo off the street could have walked in. Butt fuck it, I am here and that's all that matters. Imediately I get a beer... 8 dollars. The shit I put up with tbh, the price I pay for fun is worth it but my goodness is it painful. I wander around the theatre and it is nicely large and open. Not hot!! Can you believe that? The other stages weren't bad, too much to take it all in tbh. I settled at the main stage which was the first one you sent me when you walk in. The first artist playing was a chick, she played some good jam actually so I quite enjoyed her set. The only thing that led me to believe she doesn't actually make music and only is a DJ, was that every track she played I knew. Which is expected from shows like this but she didn't play anything "original", it's not a bad thing but if I was to critique her I'd be disappointed because I am the type of person to be wowed and I like to seek new material. I went for a smoke and met this couple dressed and Vegeta and Bulma, hella rad. They were cool, totally forget their names tho. Met this Mexican dude too who was a little short had crazy contact lenses and had a friendly chat. he was rolling which was cool because I wish I was, I even asked him but he was fresh out. The party started picking up too and louisahhh's set was about to play and I am 3 beers deep so I gotta step up my game. And guess what!? It's Modelo time homie!! Met a dude in a headdress and took a pic with him to piss off other people who are against that bullshit, as long as they are respectful about it I think it's awesome... so @ those who are trying to be offended on purpose, fuck you. Went to the bathroom and dropped my Modelo and the worker watched me do it and didn't say anything and swept it up. I went back to get another normal beer because the Modelo was 9 dollars. They mind as well get the lube ready because they are already fucking me dry. I had run out of party favors at this point because I only had a little but that's not why I am here so I accept that fact and I am just glad to be here. The dancefloor was sticky but as more spills happened it was less annoying and more people came, it made it more bearable lol if that makes sense. The sound was definitely worse at the front of the stage so I found that sweet spot 15 feet back in the zone where the speakers were pointed. 7/10 audio, it's no pk system but hey I don't mind too much! Louisahhh was stepping in and she had a super neat outfit going kind of future/madmax like. Her hair was excellent if I might add. I've always wanted to catch her set but never had the chance until now. I could say it was what I expected, which was basically the same set I've heard her play on other sets I heard from her. It's not a negative but mental gymnastics aside she could have spiced it up some more by playing new shit, like I said. I am just glad to be there.

After louisahhh played her set Boys Noize had stepped in and he opened up with that one song he always does lately lol I forget the name but let me tell you, my body was ready! The "wares" I had bought off Sam at the hostel were already used up but I didn't need any, my body was tingling from the energy in the room. I met the maddest group of lads in the crowd and I gave them a handful of stickers to help me distribute. They loved it! I was also doing "rogue" work by slapping stickers on people without them knowing. The funniest ones were the Dealer and Wasted stickers. The lazers and lights in this place were magnificent. Production was nearly top notch 7.8/10. it's a theatre but they used it as well as they could. I want to describe this experience more but going to a party is the purest chaos you can experience. It almost can't be explained, only witnessed. I honestly love being social at these events. In real life I can be very shy or unwilling to exchange or talk with others. It pains me really, I just love people and I want to make genuine friends but I feel so reluctant to meet new faces because I don't really click that well with others. I know that I am unique and sometimes strange, I am sometimes don't give a fuck but I tend to be antisocial because of paranoia that other people won't like me when they get to know the real me. When I attend rave parties, I tend to feel more free and open because I know the people in attendance are also there for the same reason I am. Obviously this may or may not be a healthy life style but it is very fulfilling in a very emotional way. I may not have that many real life friends but when on the dancefloor everyone is my friends lol that sounds like the gayest shit ever but it's true. Anyways party is still bumping and it's 6 am and I am wiped out, boys Noize played some of the best tracks I heard at awakenings I noticed. Kind of the same shit really. But it was LA so more mainstream crowd. I leave the club and it was so fucking foggy outside, like a horror movie. 2spooky4me. I hit up Uber like 4 blocks away because it was just too crazy in the front of the theatre. I got this younger driver about my age and we talked about McDonald's lol she was fun then I get back to the hostel hungry as fuck. Eated bread and smonked some herb and hit the hay.

Next morning I hung out in the common area. Watched friends and watched Champagne die from smoking weed lol he was my favorite. Cool hostel tbh very home like. I had few hours to myself before my flight so I decided I wanted to go to little Tokyo. I had to say goodbye to the hostel, the guys downstairs gave me a donut lol and I got into the Uber. The guy talked about the dodgers game like I actually give a heck about sports. He dropped me off at the entrance of Little Tokyo. This was actually the most wholesome part of my trip. The first sight of the Japanese style outside mall was kind of exhilarating because LA is mostly just the same everywhere. The buildings and decorations were very refreshing and it was a feast for the eyes. Such beauty. As I continue to explore the small but busy space I feel this feeling of wonder and excitement, it made me feel less hungover if I am being honest. The world I was seeing in that moment was powerfully moving and rich with happiness. I wanted to stay forever. In the centre there was an open space where an older Asian man in a scooter and an array of instrument s in front of him. He had a little sampler Casio and hi hats and maracas. It was like a scene out of the movies where you see those cute moments because he was playing to this couple from China that were standing in front of him and you can hear them talking to the Man in between singing lol, they gave him money to play that song from toy story "skies of blue" or whatever it's called and then at the end he pulled out the maracas and hit them on the cymbals with style. I filmed a little bit of it actually. I ended up eating sushi and chicken katsu outside on the deck and just enjoyed the experience. Alone. Fucking sad actually that I couldn't share my emotion with someone else but I really enjoyed the place. I shop in the anime store and gift shop, got a few things for friends and family then had to rush to the airport. I got to Union station and shuttle to the airport right on time. Slightly early since the flight changed to a later time. I walked around and had some beer and wings then got on the plane. Nice cozy airport experience. My dad picked me up and he was working in siksika that week so I slept in his trailer. It was cold as shit and I was late for work the next day like nothing ever happened lol. Just a quick weekend trip, no big deal. Travelling is so so so much fun, I want others to read or see my adventures and feel somewhat inspired to take more risks and go on their own adventures. Its good to open your eyes and free yourself of your surroundings, especially on the reserve. There's a world out there and there's more to life than the bullshit drama that happens here. I look at the world in wonder and amazement, I know it's a sick and sometimes dangerous place but I make it my world by appreciating it for what it is. Everything is kind of all right. Sometimes I wish I didn't exist but I don't want to die either, doing these things remind me that life can be great so I hope I don't come off braggy or I am acting "too good". I make minimum wage yet I still do all this cool stuff. It's not hard to do, just literally set your mind go and do it . I chase my dreams while others think "what if" lol but yeah do more fun shit guys!!!!

[elizabethrobertajones]

13x05 watching notes

I’m not used to getting what I want.

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Expectations: holy crap am I excited to see Billie again. Yeah yeah Cas or whatever, we know he's back and would be coming back from the moment he died, and all the rest is just flavour text... BILLIE is an utter treat and given A: how she died (not just dead reaper killed off for man pain as a minor thematic antagonist, but also woman of colour on the show which was a bummer and at least she alters their post-death appearances dismal stats even if she isn't back-back as her full and healthy self a la Cas as a worst case scenario >.>) and B: the themes she embodied, and C: that Cas just got punted back OUT of the Empty, well, I am ridiculously pumped to have her (or the image of her >.>) around again, because of the utterly fascinating thematic conundrum she'll represent and because Billie was the most freakin awesome character ever, and Lisa Berry just exudes this raw calm power, and I went and watched Shadowhunters over hiatus 90% because she was on it in like 3 episodes and lo and behold she was a powerhouse in her scenes there too :P

Of course I have a personal stake too and as a meta writer it's not quite so obvious, as a shitposter you might have caught me endlessly referring to it, and as me personally inside my head, I know that I introduced Billie to Terrible Coffee AU to be a side character to the drama, meaning to embroil her in it as a voice of amused-warning-to-later-friend for Cas, and began constructing an entire narrative to explore cosmic consequences in as if post-death the show's Billie had wandered over to my silly AU and was using her extreme disappointment in them all to add another level of irony to the characterisation (listen: imagining what face the canon character would make at their role in your AU is a great way to characterise and people think I'm good at it, so free writing tip :P) and I had to make Billie proud about what I wrought. 

I failed to actually write that section in time for this episode, had no idea there WAS an expiry date and that Billie would come back, but here we are and I've accidentally over-thought Billie to an absolutely astronomically disproportionate degree to probably most people around these parts for the sake of having her tease Cas about Dean from the deck of a boat while they were sipping cocktails together. :P

I can and will mentally insert a cocktail into Billie's hand in her scene(s).

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OH AND THEN THROW IN THAT THIS IS A YOCKEY EPISODE. Of all the current writers, he's the one who makes me lose my chill completely. He's got an incredible way with character and emotion which I absolutely adore, so I find it pretty hard to worry about all the nervous little things I worry about aside from how much the grand scheme of things will let Billie back. And season 13 seems to be going pretty in my favour as a viewer and meta writer so. Super sublime chill.

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Oh boy the recap people are trying to put us out of a job.

Superimposing Dean's speech to Patience over Sam crying over Dean nearly dying in 2x01 and ghost!Dean lurking behind him, which of all the reminders that they die a lot is a... lot of a thing. Because John etc. Season 2 theeemes everywhere. And then of course them getting shot as ghosts in 4x15 aka time to save Tessa. And Dean wasn't having an easier time in that episode, hell-damaged and talking to Tessa about how he wished he'd gone with her. Could just be subtle reaper reminders because the next shot is Sam detoxing demon blood in 4x21, nudging us into new territory for Jack theeemes. But that's part of the "pain" in his speech, "horror" is Dean hilariously dying in 3x11 when hit by a car, which, well, wasn't hilarious at all for Sam or the rest of that episode for us once the dying montage was over, and just reminds us how much they're dicked around with by the universe... And then "Death." Over. Death's hand.

Look, I am a simple person with simple wants. I would have been satisfied to just have this about Billie but now you're making me want to see DEATH again and see what the heck happened with him. I mean I've always sort of wanted to see him back again because if Billie would be pissed at them... :P But I could accept she was his stand in from now on. That she WAS the new Death all along, even, for our wild spec. Now I am MADLY excited about how they're going to utilise all this stuff because oh hi have you met me the reapers and death stuff is my absolute favourite stuff on the show. I was always hoping this wasn't going to be a cop out with the tasty sounding title, and it seems like they want us to really be on the ball about the themes here, to whatever end.

(Just having paused it to squeal here, it could be a fake out about Death because the first shot of him in his killer intro montage was his hand with his ring because in season 5 that was the cue we needed to know that was the ring we needed and that Death was who he was supposed to be... Logic dictates the ring crumbled in 10x23 but if they wanted to invoke Death without bringing Julian back...)

Weeeeeeeehheeheheheheeee Death's "affront to the balance of the universe" speech in 6x11 where he was resentfully giving Sam's soul back on one condition... The same thing Billie was pissed about in 11x02 onwards. Is he here to cover for her reappearance and make this seem like it's all just a big cosmic theme? Because something tells me this episode is about their deaths somehow or another, either temporary, threatened, or big picture :P

Or it's confirming that Billie is Death, there's always that because the next transition is Dean killing Death to Billie LITERALLY CONTINUING DEATH'S SENTENCE FROM 6x11 - "you cause disruption on a global scale -- so next time you die and your brother bite it, we're going to toss you out into the Empty."

"And *nothing* comes back from that" *stab*

Leaving it there with Cas - no cutting to him back alive in the bramble patch. Instead the last note, the only one ABOUT the Winchesters in season 13 aside from Dean's 13x03 speech being used - is Dean saying Sam needs to keep the faith for him, which was the comment only answered in dramatic irony by Cas's return. No comment on the dominoes of Cas stabbing Billie, getting stabbed himself, going to the Empty, and coming back from that. No comment on the deal. This is all stuff we're either meant to know already or isn't strictly relevant right now... But we'll see :P

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Sort of scared to play the cold open because eye horror in the promo pics and I don't wanna see the doctor drill some random person of the week through the eyeball :P

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Oh no, it's kids. I think they're still alive because of the promo where they refer to talking to some kids. Or one of them with the implication both made it out the house although I assume their time is numbered regardless.

They're visiting a house which used to be a mental health clinic, which has weird overlap to last episode and the fact the guys went to a fully functioning house with a modern day therapist in it. Mel pointed out the Asylum direct visual reference in one of the props we see in the fast promo so I suppose that's a good season 1 reference to keep in the back of your head.

The floppy haired kid with the backpack (aka the Jack mirror?) is more uncertain about doing this but encouraged by his friend to go along with it. His friend is a dick.

I hope someone's had a good look at the stained glass window because I can't tell if we've seen it before or not. This may or may not be set re-use >.>

You can tell the boys apart because one is half battery (the dick) and one has full battery still (our sympathetic guy)

Don't touch the plague masks!!!!

Literally that was your entire fault and at least the one we were rooting for legged it with a minor wound. I think even some other ghosts were yelling at them for waking up the doctor (I HOPE that's not a parallel to The Empty and Cas waking him up)

But yet... sam and dean seem to have visited both? Was it only "minor" brain drilling and the other kid comes back home slightly altered? Mel also made promo shot comparisons to Naomi and her drilling... Brrrr.

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Anyway Dean is making himself PB&J so I don't have time for you all. Ouch.

Did Sam literally just compliment Dean for making himself a sandwich?

is it a recovery sandwich?

I get the feeling if we're seeing this and the promo was a lil later on and some investigating further into the episode then maybe we're basically seeing Dean's breaking point for being babied through his grief by Sam's attempts to cheer him up.

Makes you wonder why they picked that instead of this, but this could be a relatively dull opener and Sam trying to talk Dean into going to a strip club was too funny to resist, because it kind of was :P

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Sam has been on screen 6 seconds and he's annoyingly peppy

I love Sam btw, like, you are not allowed to judge me for how I may talk about Sam in the coming stretch of episode because I get the sense he's in full on cheer up mode, which turns anyone into the most irritating person on the planet and then you throw in Sam's eyebrows and basically I can't with him :P It's not a judgement on his character, I know he's trying to help Dean because of what Dean told him, but Dean just wants to operate a shell of himself for a while and Sam's trying to dig him out of it because it's painful to see him like that and he doesn't know that Cas is reconnecting with them soon, and if not today then next week and also probably by the second half of the season Mary will be back with them.

-

Anyway Dean just carries on stoically making his sandwich and we all talk a lot about the symbolism... I think in this context perhaps it's loosely linked to Kevin operating as a ghost out of this kitchen after dying halfway through his PB&J and coming back for the crusts as unfinished business. He was mourning his mom while he was alive but then it turned out she was alive but too late he was dead.

The PB&J is also symbolic of humanity so idk. He could just be making it because it's sweet and he has a sweet tooth, it's vaguely reminiscent of pie filling but not enough to be traumatic and it's Dean's "I'm doing 1 good thing for myself today" personal quiet method of getting better in the long slow aftermath that Sam wants to rush.

-

"GET THIS" Sam is on full on Sam-ing

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Awww Jack's watching DVDs. I assume Sam HAVING a stash of DVDs is stuff he's collected as an adult with a Bunker to go on a nostalgia kick. I assume they have a PO Box pretty much for Sam's Amazon deliveries. Like, he hasn't been lugging DVDs around with him since the start of the show and before that they had a bunch of VHS tapes in the back of the car or something :P They grew up dependant on what was on motel TVs and picked what they liked to come back to as adults with a settled address.

Also: the clouds part and bestow on us: a thing Sam likes!!!! That's like at least 4 songs, a couple of movies including Star Wars stuff, HP Lovecraft, and now liking old bad fantasy movies that even Dean judges him for.

Or, I assume, Dean has watched and may or may not reference if the opportunity came up but he needs to box something off as Sam's weird nerd shit that makes him unappealing to the ladies, while Dean, obviously, has never liked anything nerdy, and has had lots of straight edge manly sex with women and all comments about Zorro masks are stricken from the record.

Sam, being in a magnanimous, my brother is grieving, mood, just literally takes the hit and keeps going. Jesus Christ Sammy.  

I would swear he's worn his worst plaid today just to give Dean something else to judge him for :P

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Oh uh anyway point is Jack is being stashed in the Bunker just like Sam once stashed Cas with his netflix. Sam's being responsible for the pop culture education of 2 generations. At least Netflix lets you pick whatever you want once Sam's not trying to be helpful, and in 11x06 Dean related to Cas to switching to bad TV, rather than watching Sam's picks of the good stuff you're meant to watch.

Less chance of Jack going on a complete rampage through trash TV, but still if nothing else Dean's hands-off approach to the kid means that Sam is being allowed to mould him however he likes :P

-

I just went back and watched again just because I realised the credits were ALREADY over after 5 names. It was like, J2, Misha (yay!) and 2 people I hadn't heard of who I assume are too important named characters in this episode to skip but also not reoccurring characters. I wonder what the slippery slope is when you don't put Lisa Berry's name in the credits of an episode you've advertised she's in. Even people who've checked on TV guides will know... But I guess you treat the episode as internally self-spoiling and ignore what everyone knows for the sake of the person who buys the DVDs and watches through without even reading the descriptions in the sleeve or whatever. Anyway glad she wasn't spoiled but it does make me like *itchy teeth* about Death being in the recap, because naaah. Naaaaaaah. NAAAAAAAH. they wouldn't. they're not. it isn't. She's making like, a hallucinatory cameo for theeeemes and I got to stick with that until the episode proves me wrong, never mind bringing Death back :P

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As a fan of Death and the reapers (probably already a band name) I'm like... so on edge right now :P

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Oh wait also Dean said "what about Jack" - he's using his name even to Sam now. Not teasing him about the anti-christ

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Ya know, based on how beer for breakfast (name of my band) went over and letting Dean be Agent Page (oh the promo is so the breaking point - Dean already is calling him out on all this IN THE TEXT, using his words to point out the weirdness) I am actually thinking that Dean would have actually quite liked to go on another job with Jack. That he was starting to see the use of him and to warm up to him ever so slightly as a person since he showed effort and did a good job and saved Sam and dug the graves for them. I don't think Dean would ASK out loud but if Sam had said, "Jack comes and that's final" Dean would have done that face shrug expression and let it happen without much complaint.

Sam is bending to Dean's apparent desires and being like, well Dean doesn't like Jack, this could be a chance to get Dean out of the bunker without Jack and let him forget all his troubles for a bit...

-

Like, I don't wanna worry you Sam, but last time you decided you needed to cheer Dean up from his extra super special worries about Cas, you took him out into the woods for a fun werewolf hunt, got shot and strangled and had to kill literally every single werewolf in the episode with your bare hands while bleeding profusely from your stomach, while Dean had a random encounter with Billie in the depths of utter despair that he'd lost everyone he ever loved and the world was now going to end without you all.

Dean's a drama queen about a lot of stuff but when he tells Jack your plans don't usually work out, this is the sort of shit he's referring to :P

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*Sam looks so freakin smug with himself walking off after the badge exchange and Dean's like... what. What?*

-

Poor kid with his great big bandage on his forehead.

He "can't even talk" because the trauma was so bad and we cut to him apparently drawing in his room, which makes me think right back to 1x03.

Omg lol of course Dean walks in the door alone to chat to him. And sees him drawing repeatedly the MotW. We bonding over trauma so bad we can't even talk about it again?

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OH there's 3 boys. Shaun/Sean (I'm gonna pick Shaun because this is America and I assume you all don't spell stuff proper - FYI to Americans reading this, please remember to read this all in a shrill British accent, what what) and Evan who was presumably the one who died in the cold open, and Mike is the third, who they're inseparable from but was NOT there in the house with them that night, and by nightfall at the promo scene they had not spoke to him yet.

What a frikkin rug pull though, to have 2 boys in the open, so you think they're a duo of best friends, and it's like NO WAIT THEY COME IN THREES... Bahahahaha

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Dean back upstairs with Shaun, and he's sat down to talk to him with a "you know" and at this point I am pausing and getting a stuffed toy because he's either gonna open up to a kid who won't squeal about it because he can’t talk, or say something completely awful because he's in an awful place and either way I don't need Emotional Honesty Hour from Dean Winchester at 9:30 in the morning without a friend :P

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On no, Dean talking about knowing what it's like to be scared of monsters, but then trying to reassure the kid that he can at least make it go away PHYSICALLY even if the horrific psychological trauma can't be erased. Comforting!!

-

Promo sceeene!

Which we already picked over but aw yeah so Shaun didn't tell Dean anything after all, except for the plague doctor drawings (and he didn't show he had the mask with him? Really?? Did he drop it earlier?) so Dean really did just open up to the kid about understanding his pain but being the thing monsters are scared of... A better Dean pep talk than Patience got at least, since Shaun was a regular victim and Patience might have been angling to join the life... and it mostly just served to make him say that :P

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Since I've been barrelling through all the Wayward Sisters old episodes this month, I am reminded that I spent a good long while wallowing in Yockey vs Sam knowing Dean's porn habits and outing them to Jody in 12x06... 

I think Sam trying to make the sacrifice to go to a strip club with Dean (and I can't believe this is the third time I'm putting myself through watching this exchange because omg second hand awfulness and yet I went back and watched it twice it was so good) probably fits under this characterisation umbrella. 

Of Sam vs performing Dean, as much as the callbacks to season 1 and Dean vs Sam's Jess grief that I was talking about last night thanks to an anon nudge. And parallels to 12x16 and their chat about the swimming pool outside a similar hotel set (although this one is infinitely lower rate :P) - the writers playing with the knowledge that Sam and Dean have grown up completely latched onto each other like this and Sam's been dragged to strip clubs by Dean almost certainly and they just kinda know more than they want to about the other's personal habits, and they have low, bad boundaries. 12x16 was asserting some back, letting them have separate rooms, and showing Sam grossed out by the thought of Dean skinny dipping which, I mean, fair (if you're Sam anyway :P) but they don't really GET those boundaries. 

So there's some re-poking season 12 specific themes here as well, just in that Sam, who has historically had his own walls up about Dean's porn and interest in strip clubs (because they're extremely not his thing) is willing to cross a line for Dean and just go with Dean to a strip club and buy him a lap dance from a place with a decent online review. Which also shows low bad boundaries that he would try and manipulate Dean back to happiness this way, just like in 1x19 especially, Sam had to angrily re-assert his boundaries about Dean constantly trying to set him up with Sarah, and Dean had to point out he has a stake in Sam's sex life too, even if it's just having to put up with Sam being cranky and miserable. Historically, Sam having to put up with Dean's sex life is considerably more on the "ugh, TMI" range for him :P

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... sorry, yelling "promo scene!!" usually means I stop analysing for a moment and just watch, because I already went over this ground last night, but I guess there's more untapped depths :P

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Holy shit, though in the reaction shots for Dean after talking about the Clam Diver, he's standing with his back to some stuff that on my screen makes a beautiful bi flag. What the hell. I was thinking how colourful the backdrop was last night but...

I mean that's the blurry background to his close ups on this.

I THINK it's just the road lit up behind him but oh gosh getting it in the background of the shot for THIS conversation about the Clam Diver? GUYS what are you DOING. 

Who directed this??

I overshot and landed on "how you ever got laid" "heh, tell me about it" I can't BELIEVE, STILL that Sam just gave him that win. For some reason it reminds me of Swap Meat where he judges Gary for being a virgin based on the Star Wars stuff, even though Sam is an established Star Wars nerd of more than the general audience variety, and mostly likely read the old tie in novels :P Sam owning that his nerdy interests as a teen didn't exactly make him very sexy is probably the most frank thing he's ever admitted to Dean and he's just trying to help Dean. 

(Tbh, again, it may have helped Dean more if Sam just reacted all prickly and got wound up, which is generally what someone teasing wants - a reaction, not rolling over and showing your tummy. Anyway more on the pile of Yockey probing their sex lives in relation to how they see each other, with Sam letting Dean be the one with the more manly sexy interests and letting the performing Dean layer that all comes from win, and then trying to pander to it some more by looking up places to make Dean feel even more manly and in control)

And holy crap I'm glad I have no yoga today because Yockey's got me talking in loops and I've been back to this conversation in the kitchen 3 times and it's nearly 10am and I've made such bad progress. Mental contortions instead :P

Ooooh directed by John Showalter. I'm pretty sure he's been around for aaaages and contributed more than his fair share of nonsense... :P

I just looked him up on the superwiki, saw he directed the episode with HP Lovecraft (and that ridiculous "I was busy having sex with women" or whatever line about Dean not reading the novels) and basically I am gonna hit the brakes on this thought and just watch the episode or I'm going down a rabbit hole I don't come back from until 11am :P

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Oh but the thing I was trying to confirm was... Not that I knew I was looking for it except in the most abstract sense that I was thinking of it in one hand and thinking maybe there was something by this director in the other without realising it was the same hand... the blue & red light falling on Dean in 10x16 which looks an awful lot like the bi flag and shortly preceded Dean confessing all that delicious confessional stuff?

Yeah guess which director according to Superwiki.

Now i'm done.

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I want to know what metric The Clam Diver got "four and a half" of on whatever site Sam was reading about it.

That's in Sam's browser history.

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"Is it my birthday? Did I win a bet that I don't know about??"

"I'm just trying to be nice."

"W h y."

"Because..... you know why."

"I'm f i n e."

Sam, back off, he's gonna stab you :P

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I got to ask... is the automatic door not working an improv because the door broke, or thematically relevant, because that's the sort of random thematically relevant detail I could have a nerdgasm about for absolutely hours of typing while Sam is harassing Dean into the building talking about him not believing in anything. The higher powers aren't doing shit for Dean even when he waves at where he thinks the sensor should be, so he gives up and just opens the damn door himself.

The door has a sticker that says, quite clearly, "warning automatic door" and at the very least for the shortsighted is a great big yellow warning sticker on it, so I'm gonna have to go that they're signposting that it's supposed to open, so this is something either scripted or added with full intent to metaphor and my brain hurts.

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Sam is trying to understand this massive great big VOID of misunderstanding and it's... frankly awful. He's babbling about his understanding about Dean and his confusion

"You're not, Dean. you said you don't believe in anything, and that's not true! you-you-you do believe in things, you believe in people, that's who you *are*, that's what you DO. I know you're in a dark place and I just want to *help*"

This is telling us a lot more about how Sam sees Dean than Dean's faith arc. Of course Dean believes in people and saving people and that the planet is worth saving. That's a baseline assumption around here. Dean and *faith* though, in believing in things, in how the universe treats them... it doesn't even open automatic doors for them. Cas is DEAD. Cas is where Dean's belief arc centred in the last minute of 4x01 and Cas is where it has freakin' remained for the next 9 years. Cas lost faith in God and Dean chucked away the amulet because he lost faith in everything - Cas and Sam and himself and their ability to save the world that didn’t want to be saved. Cas became God and Dean lost all hope he may have had left. Cas came BACK to Dean and his faith was restored but in THEM. GOD came back and Dean and Cas had similar and unchanging positions on it right down to Chuck basically telling Dean not to confuse him with his own father, but the ridiculous superimposing over John over Chuck and Chuck as Cas's failed father who Cas now just ignores outright and Dean lashes out on his behalf because he knows Cas doesn't believe. That Chuck broke Cas back in 5x16 and... Yeah. Cas is gone now and what does Dean even have left in his personal faith? Chuck didn't answer, the automatic door won't open even when he waves at it...

Sam sees Dean as having no faith in God (while Sam has had the much more complicated journey there with his personal faith, and feeling it in a religious way) but instead he tries to get a read on Dean's personal compass, and god dammit Yockey *takes a shot* in Wendigo of course Dean sits down with Sam and tells him HIS personal philosophy on why he does what he does: saving people, hunting things, the family business. The thing is, Dean has already in this episode reached out to Shaun and described himself and Sam as the people who know about the monsters, the ones who can't erase the trauma but they can erase the monster, and help what little they can there... Save *other people* from it - yeah it's a message full of regret and defeat that Shaun already got hurt and that's probably why Dean couldn't get him to open up because he didn't come in bubbling with wide-eyed optimism about saving the day, but heavy eyes that had seen this too much. But oh does he still care about the people, and saving them. He just doesn’t trust what HE can do, what they can do against the tide of awful. It's not in his speech to Patience, because it's not the motivation to be a superhero any more - he is just a guy doing a job. And he's lost his heart in many ways. But he will still fight to protect and help people because baseline, Sam is right, that IS Dean and even damaged like this he'll go on hunts and protect people. Take Jack into the Bunker with them in 13x01 expecting it to be a self-destruct thing where base case scenario they can take Jack out with them or something and contain the blast...

But yeah. 13x04 expressly ended linking Dean's lack of faith, via dramatic cast-iron irony, to Cas coming back as Dean voices what losing Cas has done to him.

And then Dean gets to say his bit -

"We've been down this road before, and I've fought my way back and I'll fight my way back again" which HONESTLY echoes Cas in the Empty telling his depression to stuff it and that he'll fight and fight for eternity if he has to.

Dean is trying to get better, he made himself a PB&J, he's just taking this all at his own pace, and Sam's starting to smother him.

-

"How?"

"Same way I always do: bullets, bacon and booze." Dean regrets his no bumper sticker policy because that and the "whole bottle of Jack" comment from last episode are both iconic Dean talking about his coping methods out loud way.

Also throws back to 10x11 and how Dean did that list of 3 things which he was getting back to when he lost the Mark and left a blank space which should have been "babes" or something and just put more booze into it. The swap of sex for food happens a LOT with Dean. For some reason the Dean vs cake explanation I wrote recently was floating around tumblr again last night, in which the middle of season 10 conveyed clearly that cake was stuff Dean hadn't tried yet (and 10x16's confession tied it all together - we're really delving deep into the stuff that was explored back then and I've thankfully been in fandom for so have the language down really well but I hope I don't have to explain this entire complicated web over and over later :P) and pie was coping methods heterosexual sex with women - tying what Dean wanted in 10x07 in the hook up he didn't get, to pie in 10x13 via that gross dating app... All this with the cake, croissookies, and that comment in 10x11 where Dean was trying to detox and eating egg white omlettes (hi 12x18) and cutting out booze.

And, of course, there's the whole bacon = bisexual experimentation thing from 8x13, 9x13, 11x21, and I guess now :P Cass had a much more thorough bacon masterpost somewhere out there which I may have to dig out and reblog with a knowing look...

-

And Dean slams his hand down on the bell to punctuate this statement and hopefully bring an end to the conversation by summoning a hotel receptionist.

-

Cue screaming kid having nightmares about what he's seen.

His mom kisses him on his forehead where the doctor drilled him, and leaves the door open so she can be concerned about him.

Oh no, his backpack DOES have the mask in it. Dr Monsterface used it to get to him :<

(Oh wait hi yes that thing Jody said about the Dr Sexy leviathan in 7x02 is still fresh in my mind. Leviathans as a depression metaphor in a way The Empty rapidly escalated.)

-

I saw/maybe reblogged a post about how Jack might have Kelly used against him and 13x04 was the nice version, but he's going around carrying his grief about her in a backpack. We have to hope like hell Mia gave him catharsis enough or he might carry that grief with him and things can use her image to get into his head.

(That and the 2x "shoot him!" order about Dean from Miriam and Buddy to the sheriff and Mia, 2 people who wanted to help, are causing foreshadowing concerns)

-

I love the cuts between the doctor coming for Shaun, though - the bell ending one conversation to Shaun waking up screaming, and then he gets up and pretty much goes to confront the doctor head on rather than cower - but cut to an empty bed.

-

Dean's empty bed, but he seems to have left the keys?

-

Ah, he went and had some, uh, catharsis somewhere. I swear to god those are probably the sunglasses from 1x19 dug up again and stuck on his head just to haunt Sam.

-

The fact his tie is tied around his head makes me feel like he was probably blindfolded at some point in all that... Hehehe. I doubt his tie is tied so nicely around his head with a pretty bow because he did it to look cool :P It would just be the same knot but on his head in that way.

-

Sam's like "oh great" but doesn't kick Dean awake? Like on a normal day when dumping a glass of water on his face and telling him to suck it up would be the correct thing, Sam's like, "Sam's got this!" goes and gets dressed, takes the keys, and leaves Dean passed out on the floor. In 1x19 he hit the horn to wake Dean up because serves you right.

-

(if he only went to a strip club he may have just made off with someone's underwear thrown on him for being a good tipper rather than actually having sex with anyone... I kinda doubt if he was THAT drunk he'd be more than a very generous customer they don't mind kicking him out at closing with a bra still on his head :P)

(I'm gonna assume Dean did not actually have sex but just went out and had some very drunk miserable fun and made a friend last night and now he's gonna be dependant on Sam for cash for a while until he can scrounge some back up :P)

Also, um, what is he holding when he rolls over? Is that a fun kinky times toy whip? Exactly what sort of place did he find last night, and please, for the love of god, tell me it was not the place Sam was diligently reading the reviews for between his fingers yesterday, apparently.

-

Listen say whatever you want about the fact he walked home holding it, if that boy had his tie tied around his eyes he was not the one holding it while he was having fun :P

-

I like Mike. He's a burly farm worker hefting hay outdoors in the sun, which makes him like 3 different directions of Cas parallel (the strong one in the dynamic, sun, hay), and also he was sensible enough not to be running around in a haunted house for youtube hits.

...

Look, at some point Cas hefted a bunch of hay out of the back of his truck and onto the side of the road and that happened in canon and no one ever mentioned it

thank you Yockey for acknowledging off-screen hay hefting.

-

Aw no he's lying because he's scared and Sam makes him tell the truth and it's that he WAS scared and he thinks not going to the house was cowardly, but now his friends are missing and hurt (so far as they know because Shaun getting killed overnight might not have made it to them yet)... He does tell the truth in the end. He's also in DEEP denial about their deaths.

-

Is that enough bacon, Dean.

-

No, no it is not.

-

Sam, you're gonna kill him if you give him more beer right now. Is he smuggling local ales to Dean?

I don't think I can actually watch Dean eat this entire pile of bacon with Dean's bad mood eating habits. This pause is just to procrastinate dealing with that.

-

Wait also the friend is called "Mike" which, uh... Michael? is a thing we should be more worried about? What happened to that guy anyway?

-

Man, we're 16 minutes in and where's Billie?

-

I feel like Dean being hung over for the rest of this case is probably not going to help with him getting caught and threatened with a drill by a regular old ghostie.

-

I'm snooping Sam's tablet before he delivers the cliff notes exposition, and aside from the creepy images at the top, including an old school newspaper article in the top image results that is illegibly small, but seems to have photos of the doc alive, the first and only legible article mentions a woman with depression who goes to the doc because she had depression because her son drowned... Which makes 2 son drowning deaths in 2 episodes, with the kid in 13x04 who killed his mom in the car. Also reminds me of 7x14 where when Dean confronts the guy behind all the nightmares, it's because his little brother drowned in the sea and he could never let go of that guilt. 

I think drowning is the metaphor for depression here - people losing a part of themselves metaphoric to small son, who is overwhelmed in the water... Dean related to that loss and used it against the Plucky's guy, and that was in the slight turn around section of season 7 - the part where he began confronting the loss of Cas through mirrors because of course Cas was coming back. In season 13 the plan has been set in stone and can be done briefly and with HEAVY dramatic irony that we're all aware of because we only actually have 1 episode without Cas so far, even if 1 was his death and one was his waking up, he's surrounding Dean's grief in a layer of dramatic irony. Dean may be overwhelmed and drowning. We may have SEEN the memory of Cas drowning in the Empty, but it's all done with dramatic irony, that Cas is not lost to Dean but presumably finding his way back.

-

Dean had better not puke at the grieving mother's house after all that bacon and beer for breakfast after a hard night out.

-

I love the cut between Sam asking what happened in one scene and the woman saying "I don't know" in the next - there's some good thematic transitions I've noticed already, especially this way of skipping exposition here, but I liked Dean ringing the bell for the hotel and Shaun waking up screaming, because Dean was about to go out on his grief metaphor night out and for all I know get the sexy kind of drilled while Shaun was getting the unsexy kind... and then the cut to Dean's empty bed, because this is how bad his grief was hurting him.

(Also after Sam tried to control and placate Dean's grief, he resisted Sam's attempts to smother him but he still has been accepting the offers, and did eventually go out and get wasted and Sam had encouraged it - just Dean did it on his terms and without Sam, just his tacit approval that Sam wouldn't bitch about it.)

-

ALSO WOW AFTER 13 YEARS YOCKEY FINDS A WAY TO SUBTLY WORK IN THE COLD SPOTS FOR GHOSTS.

-

LOOK HOW INTELLIGENT THAT MAKES OUR BOYS LOOK WHEN THEY READ THE SUBTEXT OF A SCENE FROM A SURFACE READ OF SOMEONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT GHOSTS BUT IDENTIFIED THE SIGNS AND THE PEOPLE WHO KNEW WHAT TO LOOK FOR COULD UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS HAPPENING WITHOUT HER SAYING IT AND NOW THEY KNOW EVERYTHING JUST FROM INFERRING IT

WOW

-

Night time and they go to the house and we're at 18 minutes in. I mean we have time for a jump scare, some bad shit to happen, and then the ad break before pt.2 of the episode.

-

Buzz buzz

-

"What's up, doc?"

-

*ad break*

*back to Dean getting drilled*

-

Sam saves him and on with pt.2 of the episode.

-

All the masks are back in place.

-

Oops, don't touch the masks. *horrible screaming from elsewhere in the house*

-

Well, except to burn them. Sensible to stay in the room, defend their turf, and get to the burning asap instead of poking around or investigating the screaming any more. 13 years and they have learned a fair amount about ghosts and I am admiring how competent they are. Sam especially has the lead here, probs because Dean is off his game by an enormous degree to him.

-

Ahahah and Sam did a round circle at the door so we see the doc get partway through the door, realise there's salt, and have to awkwardly back out of it to have a second go and honestly that is the funniest shit a ghost has ever done on this show even though it's also terrifying :P

-

*burn burn burn*

-

So rescue Shaun?

-

What can possibly happen next with nearly 20 minutes left

-

LIGHTS BLOWING DOWN A HALLL

-

Now they dealt with the advertised ghost I'm just waiting for Billie to show up, because they're about to be mobbed by a ton of ghosts and she can save their asses, or else... well idk I have to watch, but I'm just laughing because of lights blowing down a hall - 3 times already this season, for Jack, for Patience at least with them flickering rather than exploding like this...

-

These are all the whispers about the doctor which we heard in the cold open

-

I love the Winchesters running around shouting sensible ideas about what the ghosts are doing though.

-

Is this going to be Dean's torch everything solution?

-

YIKES, no, it's 4x15/11x17. BAD IDEA, DEAN. i can't believe he even carries a pre-prepared take me to the veil kit. Like, that's the reckless nothing to live for might as well die trying to do something dramatic toolkit. We also get shades of 11x16 with him doing that in a super haunted house.

You can NOT pass into the veil in a super haunted house with just your brother to watch over you and stop these 1000s of ghosts killing you.

Jesus Christ Dean.

-

Wait is he literally doing this

-

Sam is like FFUCKING HELL RIGHT HERE WITHOUT EVEN A SALT RING? ON THE FUCKING STAIRS UNDER THIS SYMBOLIC STAINED GLASS WINDOW THAT LIZZY DIDN'T ANALYSE EARLIER?

DEAAAAN

-

And yeah this is 2x01 all over again with Dean walking down the stairs trying to get the attention of a ghost.

-

Wait back up new reaper with a customer service calm grief counsellor voice, but what did she say her name was? :P

"Hello, my name is JESSICA and I'm here to lead you to your next life"

... well I hope she survives the episode just because I always root for the reapers and she's clearly just a random obstacle to Dean who is doing her job, a regular old part of the natural order, but that is not a name you use at random :P

-

I'm just sitting here running my hands through my hair trying to deal with this right now. Gonna play a few rounds of Pokemon shuffle because I sort of knew this was coming since they showed 5x15 and 2x01 in the opening recap, but the way Dean did it and then walking immediately into a Jessica? Yeah I need a mo.

-

Dean maybe never told Sam what he did in 11x17 because he didn't at the end of the episode and idk if that's one of those things you don't just bring up at the breakfast table.

-

JESSICA.

-

"Hi, I'm the spectre of the loss of the most important romantically loved loved one in your life, do you feel like moving on from them to the next thing"

"sorry I can't come to the phone"

-

YOCKEY I AM DISTRESSED.

-

Accidents don't happen accidentally.

-

"Oh god."

She knows what she's got herself into.

-

Sam takes 20 seconds to set his waych and sdakdfjgkl hang on who cares about Sam

WE'RE IN REAPER HQ

-

"Dean Winchester is the the veil!"

Please say this whole thing goes to red alert.

-

Where's his file. It it like 5000 times the size of all these little ones?

-

Sam put down enough salt for Dean but not himself.

-

I don't think that's ghosts blowing lights any more, I think that's emergency lightning from the cosmos.

-

SHAUN! Oh no, you're dead :(

-

At least he's talking again.

-

Generally the freshest ghosts are the more talkative ones, and as Bobby showed us back in 7x19 which I generally try not to remember or rely on for ghost lore, because the older ones are fading and falling into patterns and the fresher ones still have a stronger sense of self and their old life.

-

OH NO Shaun got possessed because of course that's how he got back here with the mask. I think we saw a smaller ghost in a t-shirt in some of the promo stuff, but I thought it was a kid, not a teenager.

-

"I miss my mom" he's on the other side of the grief from Jack, who misses his mom because he's alive and she's dead. The doc said he'd feel better and he froze and let him kill him. Also Kevin parallels just of a kid whose most important relationship is his mom and now he's dead.

-

Dean's thinking clearly for the first time in a while because he's not in his body. All soaked in alcohol and grief. He realises he let Shaun down by not being there to protect him. Which may have all happened this way in another episode, but that PB&J, man. It was a Kevin thing all along. (I SAID it was a Kevin thing and you all were like blah blah Cas blah blah Jack, look, don't doubt me on my Kevin knowledge, guys, I am still RAW about his death and it was 4 years ago :P) Dean's remembering in the middle of grief that it's "saving people hunting things" after he let Patience down with that speech. Or so I hope. They used Dean's speech over the open of the episode like in a season 1 episode they'd usually layer the more optimistic and simplistic "saving people hunting things" from Dean's like, second day on the job, not where he's all messed up and old.

Anyway Shaun is an emergency Kevin patched into his life to make him feel bad about failing people, and I guess that puts Dean at similar crossroads to the middle of season 9. Hopefully to a different end, just like this should be subverting 11x17 for why he just abruptly decided to cross into the veil, because Jessica is not having a good day :P

-

DEAN GOING INTO THE VEIL TO HELP LOST PEOPLE is doubling up the job of a reaper. Reapers CAN'T COMMUNICATE across the veil to the living, and don't wanna solve the cases. They come to move on the one person with a ticket upstairs in a house full of hundreds of ghosts and just ignore them... Dean actively dives into their turf to solve the case and find out how to move the souls on. He SAYS he wants to help move the souls on.

I have such a huge love of Dean blurring the lines with being Death, and being a reaper. It's just such a symbolic thing. Their job is moving people on, basically handing souls to the reapers to carry on the job, when it's ghost cases. They're the human agents of the reapers breaking the ties that hold ghosts to the earth so that the whole process can carry on and the world doesn't fill up with ghosts - like it did when the veil was broken. (or is it still? Again, the whole Kevin thing not quiiiite answered, although maybe/maybe not that was a sign Chuck was fixing the thing... But then there were a whole bunch of souls Billie for for them out of the veil like 2 episodes later...)

-

Reaper lore is fucked up on this show :P But Reaper HQ just in the first glimpse looked aaaawfuully empty adjacent...

-

I'm guessing even though Dean's got back with the info he needs, and Sam's about to wake him up because the clock ran out, the reapers are going to intervene...

-

WAKEY WAKEY DEAN

-

Oh look Billie's back.

"Hey Dean"

-

I haven't been this happy in about 1000 years. Like seriously Cas getting back was great and all but HOLY SHIT have you seen Billie? I would set this as my desktop immediately but my mum and Cat are both gonna have to watch this episode with me and probably see my desktop in the process, so... Saving a screencap for later ;)

-

This is literally the best thing.

LOOK AT HER.

LOOK AT THAT SCYTHE. HOLY SHIIIT THAT SCYTHE.

-

Billie's understated attitude is just *clenches fist*

She just shows up!! LOoking LIKE THIS!!!!

I don't even wanna hit play, I don't wanna move past this point, I just want to bask in this one image forever.

-

THE COAT. NO one has shown up in a floor length leather coat in the entire show so far, because no one has been good enough for it.

-

"We need to talk" Yeah no shit babe.

-

LOL getting right to it - Dean like, Cas killed you. Billie like, "how's that working out for him?" - does she know? Either way, she's rubbing it in. Because of course she has eeeevery right to be pissed. :P

-

UTTER GLEE.

-

I have a sudden feeling... Billie says, "certain rules - after you kill one "incarnation" of Death" (Hey 1000 points to trisscar) "another one takes its place" and dude.

Death died and within 10 seconds Billie was singing "o Death" and following the Winchesters around, annoying them, making deals with them, making ultimatums with them... Like, the reapers aren't exactly itching to kill EACH OTHER and promote someone, and I guess just one biting the bullet and taking one for the team doesn't work... But this suddenly explains EVERYTHING about Billie getting all up in the business of the people who basically fuck up every deal and ally they make and hanging out with them... doesn't give you much of a life span.

Back in 12x06, Billie taunted Dean, made fun of him for not getting what he wants, and said she wanted something from him. Came to Mary and said she was there to reap her when she was ready. She LET Dean make another deal, a deal where one of his family would have to die, or he himself do it. In a car full of Winchesters, one of them is gonna take one for the team, or ruin everything and kill the reaper who's been bothering them, holds so much over them...

-

I'm thinking very hard about changes of state right now - that Billie and Cas had mirrored deaths, and Billie came back improved, and Cas... Well, we don't know how he came back except he's been put on a better path, for his character narrative, in confronting and overcoming the symbolic depression, and he has a better coat. Not much to go on yet, and I haven't been participating in the wild flailing about all the ways he MAY have come back different, but this makes a veeery interesting mirror about returns and changes of state, upgrades after death. Now I'm interested in what may have happened to Cas.

-

But, like, to a magnitude of difference to how utterly delighted I am that Billie won the game :P

-

But yeah this is a bit of a lore fudge but who caaaares because it brings Billie back and powers her up and makes her into THE BEST CHARACTER ON THE SHOW IN A TOTALLY INARGUABLE WAY.

-

I love her new ring :P

-

"This universe can be so many things, and sometimes it is poetic."

Hell yeah it is Billie. I've been saying so for ages, but this really puts it in such a beautiful way. This is Dabb's entire job. He makes this universe *rhyme* with itself. This is what his mirrors and parallels and character repeats have been doing. I even compared scene transitions in 13x03 to the way poetry ends each line in a verse. It's something all the writers have been doing - making the story rhyme.

Gaaaaah. THIS is Dabb's writer meta commentary, perhaps. I think I can trust Yockey to spell it out this way :D

-

She took him to Reaper HQ!!! Like Cas he's passing through states - I assume he'll be back in time to finish the hunt, but in the mean time... He's got to work through some shit, just like Cas did last episode. Rhyming with each other.

-

Dean is wearing a black and grey plaid with thin red lines, and a black jacket. He's bringing like the only colour here to all the blackness.

-

yeah, Billie, keep the scythe away from him.

-

I love she set her desk up in the W section because even though it's not the middle of the alphabet, she's keeping a CLOSE FREAKING EYE on the Winchesters.

-

Ooh she knows Dean went to the AU... She's interested in Jack. Dean's chance to protect him!!!???

-

Billie looks INCREDIBLE how did I ever let myself talk myself into doubting she was here to run the game?

wait shit Dean's doing epic character stuff. Not bargaining with his life, or asking for Mary or Cas back. He just wants to complete the job and free the ghosts because freakin sshdfkjsjlks PB&J brought him back to his senses and he needs to save Kevin-stand-in rather than let him wallow in the veil for 3 seasons again

THAT is one heck of a thing, Dean. I love you so much

not as much as billie but it was a beautiful character moment

-

Billie is STUNNED.

-

Jessica gets to take all the ghosts back. She thought this was going to be a terrible day and it actually worked out.

Again, with like 10 minutes left of the episode so this isn't how it ends.

-

Now Dean's talking about trust, and Billie brings up how they keep breaking cosmic bargains. I think he may be stalling - even planning to NOT give up Jack even though Billie went first... Or he's gonna tell her but... Natural order? She can't just go... kill him...

If Dean's still uncertain about Jack he could always make a query about IF she could kill him, but not give away enough, or have her as the weapon in his back pocket should Jack be a problem... something for him to regret later, maybe?

-

This is stressful

-

Dean spills. "Lucifer's son. Jack. When he was born it created a little rip."

-

What does Billie know about the AU?

Well she knows how the multiverse works, and she knows a "big dumb Winchester" is fairly statistically likely to be the one to knock it all down.

The warning not to try and get Mary back? Now Cas is back? The consequences may still be on Mary, however she's returned to them, intentionally or not, she could topple it?

Ugh I hate spec but all these lines are so leading :P The comment that Sam's plans don't work out, in this light, for example, is realllly nerve-wracking. And we know from spoilers the AU is going to become a more immediate problem at some point...

-

"That does sound like us."

-

"You've changed." Billie reading Dean deeply and now we get to the character part of this where she's just... analysing him.

"The Dean I know and love" look I'm die hard Destiel to the bone but Dean x Death is something I've always thought the dynamic for was absolutely stunning since their first meeting, and I hate to say it but making Death into Billie is making it aaawfully tempting to ship :P

Please show him his massive folders.

-

She's currently just calling him out on how bad he feels. Pure awful character exposition.

-

"I don't matter." OH DEAN NO.

He and Cas totally rhyming with each other about their passing through these dark other worlds...

Dean couldn't save mom, he couldn't save Cas, he can't even save this kid... But he already saved the kid with that bargain with Billie, and Cas is... out there somewhere. And Mary is a whole other problem and the one he can't solve right now. If she's alive, she's on the other side of a wobbling house of cards he can't touch. But the difference in the way he gets finality on Mary vs the finality on Cas? 13x01 vs this episode as Dean slides from dealing with Cas to dealing with Mary? Getting this blunt exposition from Billie about it...

I think Billie would have thought it was funny to show Dean his file, but then realised because he's changed she needs a different approach to intimidate and interrogate him. She sees that he doesn't feel like a hero any more, not the guy who saves the world. All his crushing losses have made him feel like he's still utterly helpless to make anything good happen in his own life.

And Dean can't work through it, won't work through it, and he knows it - this is the thing that has broken him hardest... That at this point there will be NO recovery except the story handing back Cas to him, and even then that's one hell of a shake to what he believes he can accomplish... If they wanted to scare him back down from "i kill gods" Dean who then went and killed Death too, to show him the universe his huge, and keeps on ticking and his actions have put Billie in charge and the natural order keeps on ticking... But he still can't get mom and Cas back...

-

I am literally sitting in that room in Alice in Wonderland where she's floating around on her tears.

I mean in my head, anyway :P

-

My heart is broken.

Billie's "don't you?" though when Dean says he doesn't matter... I wonder what she knows that Dean doesn't :P

But Dean starts ranting to her about how Sam's been trying to help and he's useless... :(

"You really believe that. You want to die." Well, yeah the universe has become a crushing hard place where no one makes sense and Dean doesn't even believe in the blaze of glory death, doing something HEROIC now, let alone not believing in it because he thinks he deserves better and a happy ending at the end of this all...

Lowest point, unlocked! \o/

-

Oh, ALL those notebooks are his individual deaths... How he dies. "heart attack. burned by a red-haired witch" HEY ROWENA

Are they potential deaths or ones still looming over him, disappearing as he passes those marks? Or are they his entire history of deaths not died?

-

"Unfortunately, none of these books say you die today"

....

So are they potential future deaths or what?

-

I mean, Billie just introduced hope to his life.

-

"I stand witness to a much larger picture" they could not have picked a better character to be Death. She has such DEPTH and WEIGHT to the way she speaks, and such an amazing calm, powerful aura of energy. I just love her so so much.

-

OH GOSH this camera angle with the scythe in the background behind Dean's face... Gotta save and remember to add that to this, because after telling him all the ways he dies, Billie moves onto his big picture cosmic weight. That he's important. And Dean has the scythe symbolically pointing at him as she talks, telling him he's at those crossroads of life and death but not today... Is this going to be a burden like the one Chuck laid on him, or Billie reminding him that a heroic life is not such a bad thing?

I really think this is one of the best episodes of the show and I got a few minutes left of it and don't know how this resolves :P

-

SHE IS LITERALLY giving him the 4x01 Cas speech - "you have work to do" and telling him he's important, telling him he deserves to live... Kinda still like I hate you but you're important, and setting aside past grudges. There's more for him to do.

-

"And trust me, having my eyes opened to the importance of any humans, especially Winchesters, is not a thrill." HA. yeah, she's an anti-Cas but she and Cas are literally bouncing off each other in the story anyway since he stabbed her and then got stabbed himself in turn.

Rhymes. Rules. Reason. Billie is the best character on the show and I love her.

-

"So, you wanna die, but I say, keep living." "Hmm."

This is NOT the same as what happened with Cas - but he may not remember it - but it works in sort of mirrored ways. Cas utterly defeats the Empty with his will to live, may not remember it, and may have to piece his newfound will to live together himself in this new hopeful return to life. I hope. Dean has no will to live, and orders of work and purpose are just the way his life goes, the orders endlessly being placed on his head by every cosmically powerful figure... God, Death that time in 6x11, Billie now, JOHN every day of his life from aged 4 to 27 and then one final order to haunt Dean to his first grave...

-

"I need to know. My mom" *wakey wakey*

Oh, and there's the so far missing hope. She can't lie to him and say Mary's dead, so she cuts him off in indecision and uncertainty, and THAT, unfortunately, is a massive step  up from where he was in total despair that there is no one he can save...

And Cas may very well be back in his life to give him the hope that it can be done again by the end of this episode... Aaaaaaaaaaaah.

-

Anyway Dean goes wakey wakey at last and the house seems to be wrapped up, yay.

-

there's exactly 5 minutes left, which is always the omen. :P

-

Sam comforts Shaun's mom, and wanders through the scene, looking small in the chaos, to rejoin Dean at the car.

-

And like in 11x17 Dean lies again.

Sam is too smart for that, chases it up when Dean tries to brush it off as luck, and says that when Dean says they talk about it later, it means they won't talk about it and it's Dean's way of shutting off a conversation from ever happening...

Sam calling out their communication issues? I am LIVING

-

Dean glances at the mom, and is reminded that they do this job for a reason, that he bargained to save the souls of the children... Sold out the info about Jack for it...

"I saw Death. The Death."

*Sam does the eyebrows*

"He's dead"

"No she's not"

*EYEBROWS*

"it's billie"

And Dean goes on to even say that she wanted intel, and does Sam pick up on it?

... no he doesn't. He doens't ask or guess what it was...

Dean repeats the line about work to do, which is also, especially in the context of Sam and Dean talking, what they say in instances like for example 2x22 when Dean had just sold his soul for Sam, when they're about to go back to work with their regular job. The open the trunk of the car and look at their gear and announce they're going to go kick ass phrase. (Which, of course, in 4x01, Cas was subverting the context by saying it to Dean away from Sam, putting the burden on him - Billie at least made it about Sam and Dean both but that she was talking to Dean)

But they're sitting on the back of the car, keeping the trunk closed... Not moving on

And Dean starts talking about how he's not okay.

And how he always believed in what they did - saving people hunting things - that losing John or Bobby or people they cared about was a hit he could take for the higher purpose. Billie has just REMINDED him that he is bound to a higher purpose. But he's so lost, and he's lost people who he CAN'T lose. Mary and Cas at once is just TOO MUCH. It makes the universe cruel not poetic...

(I say, having it paused here but knowing Misha's in the credits again as an awful TEASE :P)

He just needs a WIN.

And he may just get one because he told 90% of the truth to Sam, conveyed exactly what was going on behind that line about not believing in anything from last episode, the power of which narratively brought back Cas because that was a huge step in his grief arc, to admit it. Now he's explaining it, telling Sam how badly it's all got to him...

Oh god where is Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas.

They're driving off and there's music, which... agh.

-

drive drive drive sexy car

-

Omg we're going back to the house... More grief on the mom for her son... Just really WALLOWING in how much loss hurts everyone, and even when the soul has moved on, that Dean got a win for their knowledge of the afterlife, that they know ghosts can go to a better place, the mom doesn't, she has lost Shaun and that's it for her. No closure, just pain.

-

drive drive drive

Billie reading Dean's book

-

I think Billie really has a huge interest in Dean... :P

-

drive drive drive... Okay so Yockey is the new Robbie montage guy.

-

Also Sam is asleep while Dean drives - this seems to parallel 12x20 where he was asleep and Dean checked his messages from Mary...

-

Bring bring?

-

BRING BRING.

Called that like a boss :3

-

WHAT, NO "HELLO DEAN" ON THE PHONE?

FUCK YOU YOCKEY I TAKE IT ALL BACK I HATE THIS ENTIRE EPISODE

-

I mean there probably was one under the music if that was Cas...

-

Well this alley has that cross from 11x06, aka the start of Cas's depression arc, the one where Metatron was teasing him about a real life angel on camera...

-

drive drive drive

-

Cross reflected in the car

-

Hey, bison sign

-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-

Has he just been waiting at that phonebox for hours.

-

I'll just wait here then... I'll wait for you...

Well that got fucking tied up with a fucking bow, from all the left over crap Robbie left lying around.

-

God I don't even have anything to say... Cas waited. For Dean. Like the love ballad warned he would. Because he's Dean's real life angel, and Dean's win. It was FOR Dean. Dean's arc narratively brought Cas back into his life, but on Cas's side of the story they fully fleshed out the end of his depression arc and made Cas bring himself back on his own terms so it doesn't shove Cas into a subheading for Dean even when the bigger story is handing Cas on a plate back to Dean...

And that, my friends, was one hell of a fun game :P

[irondevilpunisher]

My Punisher Review

*No Spoilers*

This is the series I’ve waited years for, ever since the 2003 film starring Thomas Jane (which I still love btw). I don’t know what it is about the Punisher’s story of a broken man out for revenge that has me so entranced, because lets face it this isn’t an original plot. Its been done many times; example Death Wish. I guess it has a lot to do with how its executed that keeps the Punisher fresh and interesting just like its titular antihero. Plus I’m a sucker for antiheroes and people just can’t get enough of this guy. So did the series do this iconic MCU character justice? Yes it did and more. However there are some issues I had with the series that I will get into but first let me talk about the highlights.

 Let me start off by talking about the acting powerhouse that is Jon Bernthal. For me he stole the show in DD2 so I didn’t expect anything less in his own standalone series. And believe me he absolutely kills it in this. He kicked ass. In my opinion Frank Castle is Jon Bernthal’s baby now and forever; he embodies that character like no other. I’ve loved Jon’s work since his Walking Dead days (despite my loathing for Shane’s character). When I heard he got cast as the Punisher for Daredevil’s 2nd season I thought “hah, I wanna see what this guys’s got” sure enough Jon blew me away with his outstanding performances and won me over indefinitely. I just did not expect to fall even more in love with this character under Jon Bernthal when I had Shane still lodged in my mind. That said entering DD2, Shane was nowhere in sight. 

He definitely had quite the load to work with but Jon seamlessly brings a near perfect blend of vulnerability, humanity and lethal infusion. What he did with the Punisher in Daredevil’s 2nd run, he takes it to the next level in the spinoff series. The layers and complexities he gives Castle are nothing short of brilliant. One minute he can make you laugh, then scared, then break your heart which isn’t an easily accomplished feat at all considering how brutal Frank can be. You wouldn’t think it watching how violently Castle exacts his own brand of justice but Jon’s portrayal for the most part comes across as oddly endearing, sympathetic, charming and even relatable. Frank is such a tortured and tragic individual. He’s just likable even when he’s not trying to be. He was a family man, a marine and a patriot to his country. Frank had problems in his marriage yet was completely in love with his wife. Struggled with ptsd which is why he had issues connecting with his family and maintaining other relationships. And he’s incredibly selfless. Frank’s torn love for his fellow soldiers and his family is actually bittersweet and very human.  

There is no one more deserving of their own series than Frank Castle. And Jon hit a grand slam with this one.

Moving onto the second highlight of the Punisher series, David Lieberman aka Micro aka Frank’s new geeky buddy/partner in crime. This guy was freaking awesome! I mean seriously I loved this character right out of the gate. He stole all his scenes. And the best part about Micro is he wasn’t just there to be the comic relief or the techy sidekick, he really humanizes the Punisher. Brings out a lighter more laid back side to Frank’s persona. The two characters just play off each other so well, Bernthal and Ebon Moss-Bachrach have such a natural instant onscreen chemistry, its actually touching. I could watch their scenes all day. I really enjoyed following and witnessing the connection between these two men deepen as they worked together throughout the series. Their relationship is without a doubt the core of this show. And Moss-Bachrach made me feel so much for Micro’s character in terms of his isolation and alienation from his family. I couldn’t imagine anyone else playing opposite to Jon’s respective Punisher. Micro is literally the best friend Castle could’ve asked for, totally has his back 100%. Such a welcoming addition to the Punisher’s brutal world. 

Frank really needed this guy to keep him balanced. Polar opposites yet they have so much in common at the same time. Its like watching the Die Hard version of the Odd Couple only better. I don’t know what’s in store for Micro next season but (not to spoil you) I just have a terrible feeling he may suffer the same fate as Frank judging by how his seasonal arc ended. I sincerely hope not but if we go by what happens in the comics you know that the Punisher/Micro are a package deal. They’re in it together all the way. 

 Other highlights include Ben Barnes as the show’s villain Billy Russo aka Jigsaw/former best friend of Frank Castle. Holy crap this guy was scary as he was sexy. The interesting theme I found in this series was human nature and how sometimes it can be catastrophic. While Frank is so open about his grief and rage. Russo is the opposite, he’s the calm before the storm. His rage is more on the inside which makes him all the more dangerous and a worthy adversary to Castle. Strangely enough I really liked this character. He doesn’t set out to be evil just doing what he feels is right. Russo harbors so much pain and anger, dealt a lousy hand in life. And Barnes kicks a hell of a lot of ass in this role. I even enjoyed his complicated romance with Dinah Madani. They had nice chemistry together and quite a few steamy scenes that were pretty ship worthy which makes their inevitable conflict that much more heart-wrenching. Although I wasn’t entirely fond of Madani in the beginning and found her many times naive when it came to Russo, Amber Rose Revah did play the part best to her ability. She also had a fascinating cat/mouse thing going on with Frank Castle and I loved her dynamic with fellow agent Sam Stein. 

Most of the supporting characters are good and compliment the show’s lead very well. The flashbacks and dreams of Frank with Maria were bittersweet and heartbreaking as they were essential. In a way Maria acts as Frank’s guardian angel and conscience. Flawless chemistry between these actors. It hurt knowing Maria and the kids were dead yet I kept wishing they weren’t every time Frank had a moment with them. I have to commend the casting decisions for the Punisher people because they really wanted actors who gelled in the limited time they had. And fortunately they did. Jon does some fantastic work involving the Frank and Maria Castle stuff, particularly in the last couple episodes of the series. 

Sarah Lieberman is a doll. I absolutely loved her character and her interaction with both Frank Castle and her husband Micro. Jaime Ray Newman is gorgeous, talented and so underrated as an actress. She’s strong as she is vulnerable and sweet. She really brought out a softer and much kinder side of Frank that was needed to keep his character grounded enough so that the Punisher wasn’t just strictly about murdering people. In fact her chemistry with Bernthal and Moss-Bachrach was an accidental surprise and really had me torn because after watching this series I proudly ship the hell out of them both. The unexpected connection that Frank develops with the Lieberman family is some of the most powerful bits of storytelling. This broken man who’d lost his own family he  in turn gains another and its some of the most simple yet entertaining parts about this show. I just really enjoyed Frank’s interaction with Sarah and the kids. And I’m looking forward to where the writers take them next season, hopefully its in a good place. 

Karen Page, it was so nice seeing her again after Defenders. DAW is just stunning as she is awesome as this character. She wasn’t in the Punisher that much but I will say this show gave her a hell of a lot more story time than Defenders did. I really looked forward to watching Karen extend her reporting ventures and learning how she’d been dealing with the aftermath of Matt Murdock/Daredevil’s supposed death. Suffice for me to say this girl was hurting badly. Though [minor spoiler] Matt nor Foggy’s names escaped her lips even once on the Punisher, the way DAW played it so subtly internal made me think they were on her mind the entire time she was onscreen. Karen was definitely wearing masks while she was in Frank’s presence. Hiding from him and herself as much as she was using work to escape her pain. And that obvious grief only provoked a more reckless side in Karen to say the least. I won’t say what that was of course being that this review is supposed to be spoiler free. 

The one thing I will touch on about Karen’s appearance that I didn’t enjoy would have to be the plot she was given in the Punisher. Which brings me to my low-lights of the series.

The Kastle stuff was fantastic in DD2 I loved their scenes and their dialogue in that season of Daredevil. Both Bernthal and DAW managed to create an interesting dynamic between Frank and Karen, a unique bond, mutual respect and understanding. And I thought that relationship would’ve translated beautifully in the spinoff as it’d done on DD. However in my humble opinion it did not. I just didn’t feel the connection between these two characters was genuine  as it had been in DD2. While some stuff was touching [like the hug between Karen and Frank at her apartment] there were parts about their interaction that had me rolling my eyes. I’m talking cringe-worthy moments [like Frank’s little “she’s family” outburst with Micro and the elevator]. It just felt so out of place especially when Karen’s name did not come up on Frank’s radar when she wasn’t in episodes. There were times it seemed as if I were watching a soapy Kastle fanfic instead of the EPIC story of Frank Castle/The Punisher. 

Don’t even get me started on the fact that Karen’s role in this series was minuscule or that the B-plot she was involved in was horribly predictable, badly written and unimaginative. Far as I’m concerned the whole Lewis Wilson arc was the weakest part about the Punisher. It only served to give Karen’s character an excuse to stick around longer and to satisfy the dreams of a certain section in this fandom. I understand very well why Karen was used instead of Claire Temple to bridge Punisher with Daredevil; she developed a bond with him. It only made sense for the writers to use her for that purpose. But for me this is what slowed the series down. And as much as I love Karen and seeing her developed further this show did nothing for her. We didn’t get any insight into where her head was at after Defenders which is what the Punisher really needed to keep all these Netflix MCU worlds connected. She doesn’t really share any personal or meaningful conversations with Frank as she’d done previously. So because of that, Karen Page’s addition into the Punisher felt disjointed and awkward. 

The veterans/gun-control plot part of the Lewis arc really wasn’t needed. It worked for an episode after that this part of the plot took me out of Frank Castle’s story. Hopefully next time the Punisher writers will stay focused on the main storyline they’re telling and less on the preachy bits about today’s society.  

Overall this was a really strong start for a freshman series. Its flawed and far from perfect but still badass and entertaining. The action/fight sequences and stunts were gritty and excellently choreographed. There’s plenty of guts and gore in this show so if you have a weak stomach you might want to avoid the Punisher. And the bodycount is fairly high, it wouldn’t be the Punisher if it wasn’t. The pacing is decent. The writing in most of the episodes was modest, most notably in the last 3 episodes. Its definitely one of my top favorite Netflix MCU shows. I sat on the edge of my seat from the start to the end. So much potential for better seasons to come but all and all I finished this show feeling very satisfied and wanting more. 

A worthy addition to the netflix MCU. Oh and that freaking intro man it has to be my favorite by far!

 Final thoughts go to my fellow Karedevil shippers:

I know its been a rocky road for all of us after DD2 and Defenders. Some of you have chosen to abandon ship while others are only slowly losing faith in the DD writers. It might seem hopeless right now but as I said in my Karedevil post  Karen Page’s path is still pointed towards Matt Murdock’s. Her state of suffering in the Punisher only clarifies how much Karen still loves Matt. Her fears and concerns for Frank’s well-being came from a place of her own personal loss. She did not want to lose another person she cares about just as she felt she’s lost Matt, I strongly believe this.

Its not over between them its only the beginning. Besides no one ever said the road to true love would be easy. So hang in there guys DD3 ‘Born Again’ is coming and I anticipate great things. Charlie believes in Karedevil and knows they’re meant to be just as we do. The only thing the Punisher writers did for Frank and Karen was give their fans a few tasty snaps and closure, kinda like what DD2 and Defenders did for Mattelektra fans. There is still plenty of hope left for Matt and Karen now that she knows his secret and that they remain part of each other’s lives. Until then we carry on chilled. 

Now here’s a lovely Charlie gif for you all.

[softforhenry]

I don’t watch every con panel, not even J2 even though I’m a Jensen!girl.

After the huge shitstorm on twitter and even in some media about J2 after SPNNOLA, I had to watch the panels myself though. I recommend that to everyone btw, who only builds their opinion on just a small video snippet of a panel or even just a single tweet.

And I genuinely recommend everyone to watch the panels anyway, because they were FUN!

Gold panel:

The boys joking about Jared’s “n’awlins” accent is so cute. Them doing accents is always great entertainment!

J2 thanking the fans for the EW covers. They are so thankful and appreciative of our support. No matter what they accomplish, they always credit us fans and take time to thank us for our devotion. That they’re still so humble about their success is amazing.

Jared: “I don’t know how subscribing a magazine works anymore.” – Jensen: “You sign up and they send you one.”  I just love Jensen’s deadpan humor! Jared talking about how his mom is so happy for him being on the cover - awww <3

Ahhhhh noooooo don’t kill the kitty, Jensen!! Bad Jensen. LOL.

“Jensen is a master of his voice.” – of course he is. What the hell isn’t he good at?!

Really interesting hearing them talk about voice acting. And I must say, I do enjoy the image of Jensen doing it with just his coffee in his hand and in underwear ^^

J2 being like “come here” to Alex, when he asked about cons. YES!! Bring him to one!

Jensen saying he already likes the holy water joke, because there’s a pun in there. And Jared doing the interrupting sloth. Gotta love those dorks!

The way Jensen immediately perks up and is really attentive when the fan mentions Danneel!

Dean “Boom Boom” Winchester. YES!!!

Jensen talking about home is the cutest!!! Danneel handing him the keys to “EVERYTHING” once Jensen gets home and then driving off… the way Jensen fondly jokes about it and then says that sometimes it does feel like it (wahhh they must miss home and their families so much and the little time they get together must feel too short all the time) and then he gets serious and says it’s actually him asking Danneel “what do you need me to do?”… such a good husband and dad <3

JENSEN MENTIONING FIREFLY – I LIVE FOR THIS!

“Potty words.” Oh Jared. LOL.

The pirate joke is always cute.

And now to that moment: now that I’ve seen it, my thoughts on it: First of all, Jensen genuinely tried to shut Jared down, his “no” was definitely serious. Jared then warned everyone that his joke is “really offensive”. People still kept cheering him on and asking him to tell it. He did. And yes, it was offensive. But yes, it was also a joke. Nothing more. Just to get some perspective on this: How many of you who are now dragging them over the coils for that joke, have played Cards against Humanity for example? How many of you have laughed at all those horrible, inappropriate things that came from that game? Knowing exactly how offensive it is? Just think about that for a second. Also Jensen’s “Mr. Cosby” … how many of you are still making jokes about Trump and retweet memes and stuff about Trump? In all seriousness, there’s nothing to joke about what Trump is doing. But sometimes people have to laugh. That’s it. SO WHERE THE HELL IS THE DIFFERENCE? The double standards of some people are astonishing and it always gets me.

Jared talking about how Odette likes to play with his beard. CUTENESS ALERT!

“Alex has plenty of stories to tell already.” – Then let’s get him to a con ASAP!!!

J2 are always so thoughtful answering the acting advice question. No matter how many times it gets asked, they don’t look bored by it and they always take it serious. They want other people to succeed and give them the best advice they can. Every single time. It amazes me sometimes that they don’t get fed up with questions like this that get asked so often, but they’re always gracious and genuine in their response and I think it’s really sweet and a testament to their characters.

We as a fandom could learn from that, in my humble opinion.

Main panel:

Jensen’s chant. DAMN!! Great mood from the beginning. Love him!

Jared’s story about getting lost in New Orleans and meeting that person who thought he’s only dressed up as Sam Winchester had me laughing.

I know prank questions are getting old, but this time there was actually a good prompt to ask it with Alex being new on set. I giggled at Jensen describing it as “welcome package”. Also let’s hope we get that extra long gag reel!!!!

J2 teasing Misha. I know some people don’t like it. But the thing is, I see most people who say they’re done with it blaming J2 for giving fuel to the Misha haters and that being the reason they don’t like it. Two things that go through my mind at that every time: You shouldn’t blame friends joking about each other for the actions of other people! And the haters will ALWAYS find something to use for their agenda. Everyone with two eyes can see that J2M are true friends. Just watch the jibcon panels and their live streams and stuff – these guys love each other. No matter WHAT J2 might say about Misha, it won’t change a hater’s mind. Nothing will. So let the boys joke about each other. Like Jensen once said: “We prank you as maliciously as we do, because we like you the best.” 

Also here we go with the double standards again: Everyone getting so offended over the offensive joke in the gold panel, but laughing about Jared calling Jensen Misha’s toy? Sexualizing and dehumanizing him? So to those who get angry about the first one and start laughing and squeeing about the second one: Please explain to me why that’s okay? I guess when it fits shipping purposes everything’s fine? Idk… but that’s what I get from it. Jensen’s initial reaction was a double take and a “you did not just say that”-look. But of course Jensen went with the joke and that’s what I love about all of them: They can take a joke, they laugh about each other and even more about themselves, they make us laugh in the process, they aren’t afraid to makes themselves look silly. It’s all in good fun. I’m so done with fans trying their hardest to turn everything into a bad thing. Isn’t this supposed to be our source of fun and sometimes an escape from reality? 

“I shift myself.” Oh Jared. LOL. Jensen stopping Stephen from making the badum tsss at that joke and then apologizing for their lame jokes. PLEASE DON’T EVER CHANGE GUYS!!!

Loved the question about Dean and Jack, Dean’s emotional state and how Jensen thinks about it. I seriously live for hearing Jensen talk about his acting choices and about Dean’s headspace. How he describes anger as a stage of grief – everyone who calls Dean a meanie for his behavior with Jack: Please listen to Jensen here, he’s really an emotionally intelligent man and has a great understanding and instinct for human emotions. I’m also curious about him teasing that the relationship between Dean and Jack will change.

Jensen’s instant reaction of “NONONONONO” to destroying the Impala in episode 2x02 makes me so emotional. This scene is one of those that will always stick with me, it’s so raw and brutal and Jensen was incredible!

It’s also interesting to hear about how they filmed that motel room scene in episode 10x23. That they trashed the room first and then Jensen had to match the destruction they already created for the first takes. I’m laughing at him describing how he threw something against that picture frame and instead of crashing it was hanging perfectly after it. - “He is the one.” – DAMN RIGHT! :)

And Jared chiming in how funny it would’ve been if it had been on purpose and them miming how they put everything into place. LOL.

Look how sweet and happy they look for that girl spending her birthday at the con and having the time of her life. They love seeing other people happy. Adding something to their happiness. They’re good beans.

Jensen admitting that he’s an awful liar and to ask his wife. LOL. Someone ask Danneel about it at the next con she’s at!! (She needs to come to more, pleeeease!!)

Jared fangirling over Sam’s hair, Jensen joking that it’s gray and then making all those faces behind Jared (what an adorable clown!) and then going on to say “I pinch my… side”, that pause and his face after it!! Jensen has such amazing comedic timing, it’s gold!!!

Jensen explaining his reaction to when he sees his own performance on screen, especially emotional ones is so great. How he feels and taps into that emotion again when watching the scene and how much he loves his character (HE’S DEAN’S NUMBER 1 FAN!!!). Also their approach in preparing for a scene and how it fits their characters so well was truly interesting. Jared endlessly preparing and researching, just like Sam. While Jensen does it more on instinct, just like Dean. Gotta say here, that this is why I’m a Jensen/Dean fan. You notice that in his performance all the time and the authenticity he brings to each of Dean’s emotions is always tugging at my heartstrings.

Remembering Kim is always so sweet. They have so many nice things to say about Kim and I found it touching that they’re honoring him so much and credit him for their success.

JENSEN LOVES STRANGER THINGS!!! :D

The boys teasing Heather… from… Colorado. I’m laughing so hard. I love that they do this kind of thing (though I’d probably die if they started teasing me like that at the mic). The tease and joke with us fans, like we’re really friends/family.

Jared sharing so much about his struggles and his family is always special. I admire him for being so open and I’m thankful for everything he shares with us.

Jensen acknowledging that it’s good that people don’t feel ashamed of getting help, that it’s not about that person being crazy or that there’s something wrong with them. Acceptance is the biggest thing he wants to teach his children and I admire that. Also how his children should feel love and give love is a beautiful thing to say and to live by.

That they use gifs of themselves so often, especially Jared with the Loreal one, is so funny to me.

Jensen geeking out that they’re so popular because there’s so many gifs of SPN – WHAT A CUTIE OMG!

Jensen joking with that girl when she says her favorite gif is the one of Crowley saying “I torture all my friends, it’s how I show love.” His reaction: “What does that say about you? I like it. Text me. Colorado Heather has my number.” I’M DYING HAHAHAHAHA

Jensen & classic rock – YES! “I named my kid Zeppelin!” LOL.

“I like big butts.” – “I’ve put everything I have into Sam.” … Lots of dirty jokes and innuendo. Gotta love them.

“What would Dean do?” … Jensen totally is Dean’s number 1 fan.

I like how respectful Jensen speaks about Bob Singer’s directing. No matter what you think about Singer personally, I love how much Jensen admires other people’s skills and praises their good work.

Good points from Jared about Sam and Jack’s relationship as well. Especially liked how Jared said we don’t actually really know where Sam stands right now. It’s truly unclear how much Sam is about using Jack or caring about him and what he expects from taking Jack under his wing.

LET’S KEEP PUSHING FOR THE SPN MOVIE!!

The last question: Love that the scene with Baby’s backseat wasn’t scripted!

Bottom line: I really enjoyed both panels. J2 were in a great mood and there were some really interesting questions. Watching the panels made me wish that it’s February already so I can be at a con again and enjoy their panels in person <3

[twdmusicboxmystery]

8x04: Details, Odds, and Ends

Hey Everyone! I said on Monday I wouldn't do a details post, because most of the details I saw I put in my original Analysis post. Buuuuttttt...my FB peeps, as usual, are geniuses and caught things I missed. So I'm going to talk about a few details they picked up on and then some odds and ends that I think are important to note after this episode. 

Details:

Remember how I said Carol asking Ezekiel if he's okay mirrors a convo Bethyl had? @getkath pointed out that Richonne also had it in 4x16. So each of our power couples have had that convo, and in each of these three cases it was before the romance actually went canon. Just saying.

From M-Nonny:

When Carol is in the building, she's listening to the Saviors argue. One of them is angry that the others aren't moving fast enough. Another says, "We're almost done. Jesus!" Yeah, how did I miss that one? Daryl's line: "Almost done." Let's hope and pray that means we're almost there! 

Then there's the "Jesus" thrown in, which is curse word, but still. AND they're loading weapons for the war. The weapons Rick and Daryl were searching for when they discovered Gracie. Kind of interesting. 

There are a lot of 3s around Carol and having specifically to do with the weapons/ammo. One of the saviors says "There's another THREE up at the Sanctuary, and then some." He says that while he loads the ammo into a hatchback car. So he's putting it in the trunk. 3 in the trunk? Perhaps it could be symbolic for Beth being at the Sanctuary? Carol tells the Saviors hiding behind the truck that they must only have 3 or 4 rounds left. 

Gunther says to Ezekiel, "You took you're shot. It's over." Callback to Coda, after someone took a shot that hit Beth, Officer Shepherd said, "It's over." Very interesting. I really like that connection!

Carol has an A on her paintball gear. 

@bluesandbeth pointed out that, with the line, "There's another three up at the Sanctuary, and then some," the "and then some" sticks out. Why add that? It really doesn't add any meaning to the sentence. Is there three, or more than that? Feels like it's hinting at something, but hard to say what. 

Abraham said something similar in S6. "Rick knows every fine grain of said shit, and then some." Makes sense when Abraham says it, but not so much when the Savior in 8x04 says it. If it's meant to be a callback to Abraham, why? Of course that was said in the finale of S5, and Abraham was a major Beth proxy. Just saying. 

@wdway caught that when Ezekiel talks to the crowd, Jerry is eating an apple in the background. (Apple theory). And guys, I gotta say, something is up with Jerry and Beth symbolism. Not sure what it means yet, but I'll illustrate. First there's this apple. And this is the second time we've seen this. The first time was in 7x16 when Aaron handed Jerry an apple after the battle. Aaron is a sometime proxy for Beth, but we can also clearly see a 76.  Episode 76 of the series is Heads Up. You know, the one where Glenn is revealed to be alive, and his dumpster death was a fake out? Makes me think Jerry will have something to do with Beth's reveal, but not sure what yet. I'll come back to Jerry. 

Remember the red drum of poison? I missed some things about it. 

@wdway noticed there's a diamond on it. Remember that Beth is the queen of diamonds (X). There's also an upside down 5 on it. (Think S5). But this is a super-cool connection. Remember that at Grady, when Beth and Dawn talk, they sit on red containers and there are lots of chemicals around them? I believe Beth was even mixing chemicals (probably for cleaning) when Dawn walked in.

Maybe we could even tie this to her doing the mopping? So they showed us all these chemicals at Grady, and now we're at a defunct chemical factory? That simply HAS to mean something. 

@wdway also made the excellent point that we see the tunnel, which is FG's title card, right? It looks all pretty and tranquil. But on closer inspection, there's poison in the water and things really aren't all that tranquil. In other words, things aren't really what they seem. 

You could say that about Grady too. Granted, pretty much from the second Dawn opened her mouth, we wanted to punch her in the face, but on the surface, it's a working hospital that saves people. But when you look closer, there were a lot of shady things going on there. Not such a great place after all. Kind of like this tunnel.

And of course we could apply that to Beth's "death" as well. Even the dutch camera angles are used in filming to show that not everything is as it seems. (X)

I said I’d come back to Jerry. I didn’t do a TTD post this week because I really didn’t see much TD stuff in the episode. There was one major thing I missed, though. They mentioned randomly that Jerry/Cooper Andrews has a wonderful singing voice.

Now, TD tends to pounce on anything musical, but this wasn’t about Beth and it didn’t really occur to me to read into it. But guess what? Just before bringing this up, Chris Hardwick said to Jerry (Cooper was on via satellite) that he’d probably be the last man standing. Seriously? That’s what Beth said to Daryl. And then directly after that they started talking about his lovely singing voice. (Which btw @Brynn_81 (IG) confirmed. She met him and heard him sing.)

See what I mean about Jerry maybe being involved in Beth’s return somehow? No idea how yet. Just saying that’s twice in this episode that I’m side-eyeing something around him. I was also thinking that that ax of his (which he lost this episode) is kind of reminiscent of something a woodsman or huntsman would use. And that character also figures in the Snow White legend. Thoughts?

I think that's it for details, but they give me hope!

Now for odds and ends:

I also wanted to talk about this: 

It's Melissa McBride's tweet from Sunday. (Thanks to @katkhaos for bringing it to my attention.) I've talked about the "tomorrow" theme before, so this immediately caught my FB group's eye. The tweet doesn't make tons of sense, and we're not sure what it means, but it's yet another thing that points to a shift coming between episodes 4 and 5. Gimple said after ep 4, things would get "acoustic." Let's hope that means what we're hoping for. 

Now, I'm not saying this Tweet has anything to do with Beth. But it suggests something big during or after this episode. And what happened with Carzekiel here? Well, Ezekiel is obviously going through some stuff, and as I said on Monday, this may lead to Carol leading for a bit. All I'm saying is that "tomorrow" seems to be coming, and that gives me hope. Can't wait to see how this all plays out. 

Finally, my good friend @brynn_81 (IG) posted this yesterday:

Just made my day, so with her permission, I thought I'd share! 

Also wanted to add that last night, Amber Dawn Fox (who played Officer Bello at Grady) followed me on Twitter. 

I don’t think it really had much to do with me. My friend @sparklepoodles tweeted that we needed Grady nation back on the show. Not only did Amber Dawn Fox retweet that, I think she just followed those who liked it, which I did. But I’m taking as a good sign that the Grady actors are still liking and following and retreating those who say they hope to see Grady on the show again, rather than denying that will happen.

Finally, I just wanted to reiterate one more time that there’s no reason to give up hope just because episode 4 wasn’t what we hoped it was. I know a lot of people are disappointed. You’re not alone. And a lot of that is my fault because I was gunning for episode 4. I was disappointed too. But remember that things are supposed to get acoustic AFTER episode 4, according to Gimple. And we have tons of things to hope for still.

I’ll put my thoughts together about the MSF and hopefully post them on Friday. Hopefully that will help. 

@thegloriouscollectorlady was talking about this in our group last night, and I heartily agree with everything she said. They’ve opened lots of new story lines this season (Gracie, for example). Until we see where it’s going, I’m not giving up hope. 

Daryl’s arc hasn’t been resolved. Quite the opposite. He’s in a worse place than he’s been since he was with Beth in S4. Until he either dies or something else restores his faith and humanity to him, I’m not giving up hope. 

Gimple said Daryl will find love. (Another reason among MANY to rest easy that he’s not dying yet.) Until he does, I’m not giving up hope. 

Many of you have asked about the logo being white, which I still believe is a resurrection thing. I simply don’t believe they would do such a huge symbol for one measly resurrection (Morales) that last all of 5 minutes. 

In fact, we have proof that they wouldn’t. If that were the case, we would have seen it when Sam from 4a showed up at Terminus. We didn’t. So until I see the rest of the season and figure out what this was all about, I’m not giving up hope.

And if none of that works for ya, just go back to our core arguments that still haven’t been resolved. The opening credits flash, which contains what we’re pretty sure is Daryl’s arm. No way it’s a general representation of Grady. The dialogue foreshadows, which we’ve proved over and over again are thing. “I am strong.” “I’m getting out. Just like Noah.” I was thinking about Sasha last night and her final arc. Remember that in 5x10, with the sunrise, Maggie told her, “you’re gonna make it. We both will.”

Did that mean Sasha would never die? Obviously not. But she wasn’t dying right then. She survived another 2.5 seasons, and when she did die, we saw the end of her arc with the same sunset. Nothing remotely like that happened with Beth after she proclaimed that she, too, would survive. There were four element that were part of that sunrise in 5x10. Sasha, Maggie, Aaron (who represents Alexandria at large) and the music box. Only one of those arcs, Sasha’s has ended. The other three are still going.

And then there’s Morgan. Remember the Sugar Plum Fairy song. I’ll be watching Morgan closely when we see him again. I don’t think that will be this episode, so yet another reason not to give up hope yet. What if we don’t see him until the MSF? That would mirror his appearance after Coda. Again, I’ll put up thoughts/predictions about the MSF in a few days.

My point is that I don’t blame people for being disappointed. I was too. But that doesn’t mean I’m ready to give up. Not remotely.

That's it for today, peeps. Hope everyone is having a great week!

Special thanks to the peeps named above and the rest of my FB group for their insights.

[idontneedasymbol]

13x02: The Rising Son

I did not hate it? I am vaguely astonished. I didn't love it either -- it was so slowly paced, and barely had a plot to speak of.  But if my choice is plot or character relationship moments, I am all here for the characters. And this ep did surprisingly not-terribly on that front (Though the brother, who was playing Bucklemming Bingo* with us, just shook his head sadly when we told him that this was a significant step up from much of s12...)

(*  3 cards and none of us got bingo, despite all the squares we filled! I might’ve had it if there had been any Destiel...)

Points both good and bad, and some questions:

Dean not letting Sam drive was a pretty forced way to get them to stop at a motel; yeah, Dean likes to drive, but we've never seen him stop Sam from taking the wheel? Wish they'd just let Baby break down instead. Oh well, Dean probably prefers his character to be assassinated rather than his car.

Sam describing Lucifer as “rough around the edges” I can only attribute to him having a complete brain freeze when hit with the question; he doesn’t want to tell Jack how horrific a monster his father really is, so overcorrects.

The boys coordinating wordlessly when Donatello is outside the door, oh yes.

Totally called Donatello being soulless (we were wondering how he'd survived, then went back and checked and realized Amara had only eaten his soul, not him).

The ep did a decent (considering the writers, unbelievably good) job of establishing both Sam and Dean's sides -- that Sam has put so much hope in Jack, not only as a chance to get their mother back, but also that he sees himself in Jack, and needs Jack's humanity to win out to prove his own humanity. And at the same time, Dean isn't just blindly insisting evil must die, but Jack is seriously, provably dangerous, and that he's not in control of his powers makes him more dangerous -- what he did to the tattoo guy was not his fault and yet it happened and could keep happening. And Sam understands Dean's perspective, and Dean reluctantly understands Sam's even though he doesn't want to get close.

At the same time, given how dangerous Jack is, the boys were awfully cavalier about letting him wander off and putting him in Donatello's room, like, what the hell, don't you want to keep him in your eyeline 'til you're back at the bunker?

Sam explaining to Jack what is going on with Dean, aww. Sam's understanding is amazing.

Really hope it's returned eventually, because Dean knows Sam that well, too, and I want to see him show it so badly. Please?

Both Sam & Dean's expressions at Dean killing the demon by throwing the angel blade, like, 'wow that worked?!'

What's up with Asmodeus having shapeshifting/illusion powers? Putting aside the totally new demonic powerset, why wasn't he just possessing people? Why overly complicate your mythology when it provides no advantages to the story?

The amount I Do Not Care about Lucifer and Mary's big adventure cannot be rendered in standard numeration. But new!Michael is fantastically hot, for however long he lasts.

How did John's journal have information about Asmodeus being the last Prince of Hell when it didn't have anything about Princes of Hell before? Did Sam photocopy a bunch of info from the MoL library and stick it in? Or is the journal actually now just a case for a tablet that hooks into their database? (btw when did they get that back from Mary, anyway? Did Sam retrieve it from the BMOL during their attack? Or had she returned it prior to her brainwashing?)

Dean and Jack's final scene was nicely done -- Dean is not close to trusting Jack or seeing him as anything like family, but he can't help but see him as human, and react instinctively to that. But he still has a hunter’s responsibilities first. And he’s being honest where Jack stands; not making threats, but an executioner’s promise.