#it's so funny bc not too long ago I was thinking how we assume many things about Law w/o knowing him too well

[1000sunnygo]

Just found this comic and it's so good I feel sick

[misqnon]

sanji and pudding are cute together as completely platonic friends.. like he is a good FRIEND for her. i think she just needs someone in her life who isnt going to ridicule her for her eye and . like. fully accepts her. and that is who sanji is.

i wouldn't have an issue if it was just like. a one sided crush either. which it kind of is but i don't trust oda to have those intentions. i know its realistic to have kids crush on older people,, and i think its interesting to portray that as long as the adult isnt being creepy and weird. like u can have an adult that is accepting of the kid who's crushing on them. and the adult is also like "this is never going to happen. u should find someone your own age, that would be healthier". it is inherently pretty uncomfortable to have a kid crush on you i would assume, but they could still have a healthy relationship

i also want all the straw hats there!! i dont think i'll be satisfied if they arent all there..

THATS OK IT WAS STILL INTERESTING!!

this is so funny, i actually watched that video a while ago (passively. as in i was actually trying to sleep and also listen at the same time). but YEAH i think he is so right... the charm .. the something that zoro has. is not there. thank GOD i didnt miss the fuck...

NOT THE MAD WORLD REFERENCE

oh for sure the like 3 layers of translating is probably a big reason for the awkwardness. i (personally) think he has autistic energy outside of that one interview (i think i was kinda unclear which is why i am . bringing it back up) but . ofc. i am not going to diagnose a man I dont know anything about LOL

no shame in this household!!!! there is already plenty to go around

VERY ASEXUAL FRIENDS SEEING UR HORNY POSTING.... SOUNDS LIKE A NIGHTMARE. my very asexual friend does not use social media thank god. i .. i could never let her see me like this ... for her own sake..

u also forgor ur gender for a bit thats so funny..

im very thankful there are at least a FEW nsfw questions about men in the sbs... equality!! but we must strive for equity.. sexualize the men 3x more /hj

i have a friend who knows a bit of japanese but i always feel so bad relying on ppl who know other languages LOL. like.. im sorry ... our friendship means so much more to me than ur job as my translator sometimes... but i think the foreign fans use a translator app, bc im pretty sure oda has said the wording is wonky because of the translator

ive seen a bit of trixie and katya!! im at least familiar with who they are. at my highschool (that i went to for only the last two years i was in school) we had some drag queens come to school for a show.. it was interesting. i had never seen drag in person. and then we also had a drag show with students which wasnt as involved

"for legal reasons (haha get it)" LOL

perfect representation of a sanji courtroom. since u are sanji magistrate ur word is law. literally.

oda can have credit .. as a treat.

it IS compelling tbh but it's. as u kinda said. its mostly just mentioned briefly and then not brought back up. i do NOT want to see it come to fruition.... if they killed each other.... me next

"I WOULD LIKE CROSS GUILD AS A POLY SHIP MORE IF IT DIDNT FEEL MEAN WITH HOW OFTEN THEY BEAT UP ON BUGGY AND ALSO BC I THINK BUGGY BELONGS WITH MR. RED HAIR." YEAH EXACTLY!!!!! i too love a one sided ship. shuggy angst is literally so good.. wait til u catch up theres a . theres a moment. theres a shuggy moment that is SO angsty. they have so many problems they should just kiss and that would solve everything!

"OH NO BRO….HANNYAGELLAN…ITS HAPPENING…"

i also heard abt the falling down the stairs meaning suicide thing, but i only heard abt it super recently. ur right she wouldnt have done that!! she was finally feeling like. things were looking up . because of zoro!! he helped her feel better!! n then she died. i agree that he probably sees a promise as an ironclad thing. he would literally die for a promise he made. he definitely isnt stupid either, and is generally pretty untrusting of new people

SHARING FANFIC U WROTE???? :D

"Dreams. Ambitions. Drive. Do what that day stole from Kuina. Defeat Dracule Mihawk. Become the world’s greatest swordsman- for both of them." i love this part

"This isn’t a good sign for his current navigational endeavors." HE GOT LOST..... that made me laugh

"Kuina. He doesn’t think of her as often as some might think. He doesn’t dwell on the past, only reflects on it." accurate for zoro!!!!

i feel sad for him :( he sounds a bit. regretful? is that a word.. thnk u for sharing i lov .. i love .. when ppl share their art with me.. thank u..

"but do i ever actually make those things….no. i do not" psh... typical..... /lh

oh boy im so excited to take ibuprofen with u!!!!

"its just. SO COOL!!!! TO SEE PEOPLE ACT WITH SUCH PASSION AND PORTRAY EPIC STORIES..RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!! LIVE!!" YOU GET IT!!!! YOU GET IT!!!!! NO ONE EVER GETS IT ... U GET IT!!!

yes u got me i like sanji now 😔😔😔😔😔 congrats on converting me😮‍💨 /lh. ill send u another 4kids sanji video to get back at u for this *shakes my fist in rage*

i love seonghwa!!! (obviously!!! since im ot8 !!!)

THE LAW PUN... I DINDT NOTICE AT FIRST .... im so glad u have the hawaiian shirt comic saved. i have multiple pictures of him saved and i refuse to delete them despite my phone storage being rly low.. and im not doing anything with them. im just attached.

look at how much i talk about him... im normal . its only been a month and a half since i restarted one piece and i hadnt talked abt him at all before that.. im normal.

ok my law thought s are.. well the most recent thought . was actually. uh.

yeah this was a normal thought. for sure.

this was the thought that led to that .

i just think u could have a lotta fun with his powers. outside of making abstract art. i want to know what its like to be law . in body. he is tall. and like. i would be able to teleport himself and other things.. which is a big thing when u can't get enough energy to get out of bed. and i have food allergies so i could eat whatever i want.. and i wouldnt have periods... i would automatically be stronger bc he has muscles. yeah.. i wish i could experience all that.

and that is all for now bc i think those r ...intense.. thoughts... to have... or maybe they arent, i dont really have an understanding of what is normal

"i wonder if it relates to his backstory and the possible trans-ness of it?" i was kinda thinking this too.. or like maybe it had something to do with his childhood or something. idk. croc backstory when!!

"he’s after freedom and what use is it if u destory the freedom of others while searching for it for yourself?" YEAH!!! U WORDED IT WELL,,

"HIS 4DUB VOICE PAINS ME PHYSICALLY" *sends another video* (i am actually going to do this but i was planning to anyways so dont feel pressured to watch it or respond LOL)

"i have a playlist where i put my fav one piece shits."

D:!!

crying, sobbing at the fact u know abt nika

ok honestly if it was just a bug collection... that would be so cute ... the one piece was the bugs we met along the way

"so i think it might be related to…joyboy/nika/ the SUN…i think maybe its like a. a hat maybe. thats my guess. sun hat. from the original joy boy. its not a good guess but its all i HAVe"

take this how u will

bartolomeo... maybe he is called the cannibal bc he has big teeth... or maybe its his name from when he was beating ppl up all the time as a .. gang leader? or whatever he was? maybe he "cannibalized" other groups??

end of the e-letter is for memes now

very very true. when she was sobbing after i left i actually felt so so bad for her ;-; like someone PLEASE get her out of there!! god SAME FOR REIJU. sanji got to escape but reiju and pudding are both stuck with their respective shit abusive families…it sucks. i hope we get to see both of them doing better by the end of the series!!

“i wouldn't have an issue if it was just like. a one sided crush either. which it kind of is but i don't trust oda to have those intentions.” YEA I MADE A POST ABOUT THIS (i think i accidentally queued it) BUT. YEA I DOUBT HE DOES 🙃 looks at shirahoshi. looks at rebecca

ITS A MAAAAAD WOROORORRLDLDL

also nodding my head no problem i got what u meant about inaki

UR RIGHT NO SHAME….PUTS MY YAOI PROUDLY ON THE FRIDGE

i still need to finish the opla video. i watch it while i eat lmao

OKAY HE HASNT MENTIONED IT SO I HOPE HE JUST DIDNT SEE IT OR. WILL NEVER BRING IT UP. its funny u say that tho bc my OTHER ace friend very supportively read this vampire zosan fic i wrote and they’re in their own words like violently ace and also sex repulsed and i WARNED THEM that there was a sex scene in that chapter i WROTE A CHAPTER NOTE AT THE BEGINNING WARNING SO and they STILL accidentally read it and texted me SO CONFUSED AND THEN EMBARASSED THEY WERE LIKE “its hot in the room?? wait i dont get it?? 🤨 - WAIT. OH NO-” funniest shit ive ever seen in my life. literally “hey. be careful dont look at that.” “huh? [staring blindly at sun]

actually every nsfw sbs question asked about the men was me. it was all me. next i will be asking the size of katakur- [gunshots]

KJSBDKJ I HAVE TWO FRIENDS THAT SPEAK FRENCH (ONE A NATIVE SPEAKER AND ONE WHO MAJORED IN IT AND NOW LIVES IN FRANCE. WITH THE OTHER FRENCH FRIEND) and when writing scenes where sanji spoke french i was too embarrassed to ask either of them for help but they bullied me into letting them help 😭😭😭 so i feel u so hard 😭😭😭

and ur right, i actually just read a chapter where someone did that from vietnam i believe (they used a machine translator)

i love drag sm!! u made me remember how much i liked it and i watched some more drag clips yesterday lmao. 

okay in terms of the death pact thing i feel like oda drops those things and always comes back to them…i DONT WANT THEM TO FIGHT EITHER BUT ALSO I SOOOO DO. kinda like how reading whole cake island ws painful for me but also i loved it. but i will need to wait a bit before reading it again. i dont think theyre gonna kill each other tho. i think itll be a moment that brings them to a better understanding of each other/their relationship. i dont mean that in a zosan way just literally in canon as crewmates. and i think it will be JUICY bc those bitches have been bickering for over 20 years…and then finally theres a big ultimate final zoro vs sanji battle like dudebros always clamor about. i want to see a setup where they’re forced to face the fact that they dont get along but still care for each other but also what to do when faced with a choice like that against someone you hate but also care for. and what zoro will do. bc i genuinely have a feeling zoro will fight him to the fucking end but not kill him when it comes down to it. even though zoro keeps promises like they’re oaths…so. i think it may be an outside element that stops the Murder from occuring. zoro may or may not actually attempt it KDSNC. its so fun to think about to me. im so ready 

shuggy moment? 👁️i know oda would not make any gay ship canon (probably most ships tbh) but why does shuggy feel like one of the most likely to me. in a weird way. KADJNFVDK. you know how in the og visual novel for clannad the “bad end” was a gay ending with your male best friend. that is canon shuggy to me. oda doing it kinda halfheartedly in a roundabout way for laughs but the fandom is popping bottles (we popping the BIGGEST bottles when shuggy happens tomorrow-)

on zoro and promises and etc etc…do u think zoro will get more development of him as a character by the end of the story? zoro is a character that’s beautiful in his simplicity but sometimes i want to know him more you know?? he’s kinda mysterious in a closed off way even tho we know what he’s about and. i wanna know more abt him. put him in more fucked up situations. i wanna see zoro suffer in a way that isnt just a tough battle.

im glad u liked it !! :D thank u!!

HAHAHAHA SANJI CONVERT !!! LET’S SEXUALIZE THAT BLONDE MAN ‼️(priorities 🫡) (the 4kids sanji video will get back at me. it will. i will suffer but i will do it.)

i have so many random op images saved in my phone…not to mention my laptop’s screenshot folder…WAIT THAT REMINDS ME JFDBVSJD i have an internship at an art gallery and i need a laptop for the job so i use my own but its my personal laptop.. and once i had to test a powerpoint but i dont have word so i had to use my personal google slides account and WHILE CONNECTED to a GIANT PROJECTOR…THIS briefly flashed on the screen before i frantically clicked away. no one saw but i. i did. (for reference this was for pwp night. and i have still nbot finished it)

i dont talk about sanji in my friend discord server bc None Of Them Watch One Piece but in my dms with my other op friend…let’s look.

on god

this is from both of us together. BUT STILL

(nodding) no go on what animal parts

law’s powers are SO fun. i wish he switched ppls bodies more often!! its such a fun trope its such a guilty pleasure for me!! also room is just. such a cool ability. i love teleportation characters (thinks about nightcrawler from xmen…my blue king). also THAT LAW COMIC I MENTIONED U IN THE TAGS. JHFVBDKAS THE FOURTH PANEL WHERE ITS JSUT THE SEA CREATURES AND HIS DEAD FACE DOING THE ROOM POSE GETS ME EVERY DAMN TIME

is law tall?? i guess he just seems short in comparison to like. doffy. (looks it up) DAMN THIS BITCH IS 6’3??? 

also funny law story i just remembered. sometimes i sell my art at gay art markets. and one time. at a halloween themed one. there was . this random law cosplayer. which yea its halloween thats a costume but for future reference i want to be clear this was like the only anime cosplay. everyone else was like cartoons or monsters or fairies or cats or some shit. well the law cosplayer is set up right across from me and i had JUST started my one piece hyperfixation so i was Extra Crazy abt it and i was literally flipping out so nervous but excited so i dragged myself over and was like “omg…hi…i love ur law cosplay….i just got into op and i havent met him yet but i see him everywhere…” and they were super nice!! but then. later. i go visit my friend’s booth. and . the ONLY other anime cosplay at the entire event…WAS A SECOND TRAFALGAR LAW. STANDING AT MY FRIEND’S BOOTH. I WAS LIKE ??? anyway i pointed them towards each other after fangirling for a hot moment and they took a pic together. it was very fun

ur thoughts are not intense or strange…well maybe they are strange to others but i am also insane. i promise. i love ur insane thoughts pls continue to share. i will do the same someday when i am less shy and ashamed of my unhinged fandom thoughts (such as making zoro amvs to abba in my head on the way to therapy. <- things that should be in the dsm-5 as a criteria. ps. thats a line my therapist actually said in response to something i did once. lmao)

did u notice that in the opla…they have all the characters who were at rogers execution there as their younger selves (mihawk, shanks,etc) AND THERE’S A AFAB PERSON WHO’S DRESSED SUSPIOCIOUSLY LIKE CROCODILE…I WAS LIKE OH SHIT)

i am going to watch the next 4kidd dub video. i will do it for you. (losing years off my life each time)

WOOPS THE PLAYLIST WAS PRIVATE try it now. if you watch any one video from that list. and this one is short. please make it this one. I LOSE MY SHIT EVERY TIME

OH ALSO. APPARENTLY AT COACHELLA. THAT MIKU PERFORMANCE WAS *ALSO* A TV SCREEN. ISNT THAT SAD. PATHETIC!!

lmao. i was talking to my caught up friend about op spoilers today and he wouldnt confirm or deny so many things i said. lmao. rofl, even

“take this how u will” IM SCARED

end of the e letter IS for memes now you’re so correct

p.s…i know discord is a Le PooPooHead esp recently BUT if you want to add me my username is the same as it is here!! feel free but no pressure

[aprillikesthings]

s2 ep2 Ties that Bind

eheheheh

ahem

Took me way too long to realize this was a pun on "drill" as in an object Entrapta would use to make things (I think it's a carryover from the original 1980's series, I could be wrong)

plot

Oh god Entrapta lived in the Crypto Castle. This is long-ago enough that "crypto" didn't mean bitcoin.

Glimmer: we're going to go get Entrapta by ourselves.

whyyyy

Plot shit: Mara destroyed the Watchtower and that's why Light Hope is constantly glitching, and nobody stops to think Mara might've had a good reason, but also

I spent the mid/late 90's mildly obsessed with music from the 1960's, okay, and yes I know this is the cover of a Bob Dylan song, but it's also one of Jimi's best songs

I read somewhere that all the times this character's voice repeats or gets distorted weren't added effects, the voice actor Can Just Do That.

sorry just laughing at Catra being undignified and scratching her butt

ANGY KITTY

another one for the "never pause shera" sub

wait one more

more angy kitty (and more cartoon bondage, per the episode title)

yes this is a funny bit but also I love that they're showing farmland.

One of my continual gripes with the entire fantasy genre is how often they don't show anyone farming. Especially in pseudo-medieval fantasy worlds, the vast majority of the population would be spending their lives as farmers, but also PEOPLE HAVE TO EAT. Where is the farmland. Where. Where is it.

(I loved the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings movies but it always bugged me that the ONLY farmland we EVER saw was in the fucking Shire. What is everyone else EATING.)

EDIT: later in the episode it's implied this is just dead grass they bring back to life??? to me it looks like a field of mature grain! Meh.

no she's just gay

I'm not going to take screenshots (bc they're on screen for like a split second each) but the images of multiple characters as horses that Swift Wind is imagining are SO GOD DAMNED FUNNY

ew, Catra!

Meanwhile Bow and Glimmer debate the ethics of keeping a hostage. As multiple posts back in the day point out, literally every main character in this show commits war crimes lol

why are you sniffing your foot

H E L P i cannot stop laughing she's just :}

this whole scene is such a huge part of why so many of us headcanon her as a huge brat lolol

THEY DID A MEME AGAIN AHAHAHAH

this is what happens when a tv show is made entirely by people in their 20's

fangie

do we headcanon her tongue as being as rough as an actual cat's or closer to a human's? I tend to assume somewhere in the middle.

For Reasons.

pfft

AAAHAHAHAH she's like :>

I love how Catra is totally just yanking their chains but the moment Glimmer mentions Adora, Catra goes back to Angy Kitty: "yeah??? she'll leave you, too!" like oh, is Adora a sensitive subect? hm?

Poor Scorpia's infatuation with Catra is hard to watch bc I know it's so one-sided :(

One of my friends ships these two a LOT and let's be honest, I can see it

(Also as many people including Nate have pointed out, they're actually really similar as people; their differences are almost entirely due to their upbringings.)

now kISS

unintentional pun alert

plot plot Adora is convinced she has to be "a better She-Ra than Mara so I don't hurt people like she did."

Awww there's a great little moment between Adora and Swift Wind. Adora apologizes for making Swift Wind, uh, sentient I guess; and Swift Wind says "Adora, I wouldn't trade my voice and my wings for anything. I've got the chance to change the world now. To make it better than when I found it. I can't imagine ever going back, can you?"

they fix the Watchtower, Glimmer and Bow make it back to Bright Moon with the knowledge Entrapta is alive and working for the Horde, episode is over

[yungfrieda]

6/15/23

where to start, where to start

i've been drinking this evening - just as an early caveat in case this post gets too long and wordy. BUT things are feeling okay.

I'm excited to be on a new festival project with Superfly - despite it being a dream job, i still treat it like work. i understand my own personal reverence for what it is i've done by being a producer on this project. it's exciting and i'm thrilled about it because i've wanted to work at this company since forever and i'm finally able to check it off the bucketlist.

i don't know where to start with present happenings. i can really only speak about them romantically in context bc that's where my heart is at. i went to visit my crush at his job this evening. it was a pleasure to see him but really funny, as always, given how shy he is around me. a few months back, we went on a really fun date where we basically skipped around town enjoying each other's company and roasting each other like we'd been friends forever. he's awkward and shy around me now which makes things a lot more complicated on my end because i'd assumed we'd broken all of those barriers but it's uhhhh... a nice slow burn lmao

called Jerome yesterday. he didn't answer which was honestly fine and very affirming. i spend a lot of time thinking about him but less time today than yesterday and the day before yesterday. i imagine him taking time for himself and getting better, for some reason.

it seems easier to imagine than the alternative, which is him not being well, which is the reason i called him in the first place. i just have a weird feeling, but either way, i can't will him to accept my presence in his life especially when he eventually came to hate it so much.

we had a conversation awhile ago where he said

"I like spending time with Kiana a lot - she's a challenging, unique, beautiful, intellectual soul" i responded: "then why do you act like it's the worst thing? why do you act like Kiana hates you and does everything not to understand you?" "I do not begrudge Kiana her humanity, I simply enforce breaks"

I wonder if this is a break, a boundary- and i wonder why it matters so much to me, what it is, especially when our relationship became so harmful. I suppose Jerome made me realize so many parts of myself - maybe not in the way he intended me to realize, but i saw a lot of myself through him. i saw so many things i could hold on if i kept making that choice, so many reasons to gnash my teeth and snarl at anyone who made me feel insecure and endangered in any way. i wonder when i became the enemy in his mind, really - or if anything he said to me at that point in time was real in the first place or if he was just imagining some version of me.

i'm learning who i am, day by day, and i don't always think it's a person people will agree with or like. that's okay - i know how to compromise and i'm learning how to do so without compromising myself - compromising for the sake of getting things done, getting even a half a percentage of needs met. Or at least being honest when someone is asking me for something I can't give. I asked Jerome, at one point, how i could help foster better communication between us and he said he wasn't sure or didn't have the answer - i don't remember exactly.

but i'm... that type of person. Like Jerome, i react out of hurt. Even if it's not the level of vitriol as Jerome, the reaction is still an escape or a way out of asking directly for what it is i need. it kicks up drama, and makes my needs even more obscured than before. i end up blaming the other person for not responding appropriately for needs i haven't expressed and cannot even see well enough to express.

he'd expressed this cycle as being a familial pattern. i also know it as a familial pattern but i refuse to pretend like it doesn't bring hurt. i try to be as direct as possible, to my detriment and also to my benefit, because ambiguity gives me too much space for my brain to roam. i prefer to know what i'm dealing with - but most people are not great at communication, especially if it's uncomfortable.

one of the things i always used to wonder with him - was whether or not rejecting me was something he did because he truly wanted me to be better or if he saw behavior in me that he refused to see in himself. i believe it to be the latter - and i refuse to live that way. i want to rekindle our friendship, for selfish reasons. because i think he knows this about himself and that he's in denial for the sake of being "right" in our argument. but at the same time, i think he's a traumatized person, as i am, and he may decide to demonize who i was in his life forever. i wonder sometimes why i care - but i also genuinely appreciated how much i understood his upbringing and how much i thought he understood mine. trauma bonds are truly the most troublesome to let go of.

ah. i'll figure it out.

[iam-siriuslysher-lokid]

12.11.2022

I just realized it would be 11 days til my birthday is up. But yeah, I think or I can feel that my long time crush since college feels the same way with me...but I'm only guessing.

(I have written a blog here telling a story of how I started to fall for this guy and about our recent interaction when he invited me to his friend's TLAT watch party - so if you're interested I will find it and link it here)

So we were in a church gathering and when it was finished, my mom and I were walking through the crowd when I saw my crush (let's call him Rain) and my mom also noticed him. Note, my mom knows I have a crush on him and that was like 7 years ago. So yeah anyway my mom told me to run to him and without thinking, I wrapped/held my arms around his so we're walking pretty close. He was stunned then he looked at me and relieved he said, "ah, it's you!"

And man, I felt that his arms became relaxed around my hold and also he's like squeezing me close to him bc we were also walking through a large crowd. I keep looking at the back to see if my mom could still see me and goodness she did.

Within a minute of that, my mind is all over the place. I'm nervous but also relaxed. It's an intense feeling - maybe it's just me. But anyway, so my mom reached us where we stopped. We let go of each other's arms and my mom talked with him (they know each other- we we college mates and have the same friend group. Basically, my mom is their "auntie"). They talked about how often he will visit the church and how often he'll see me now bc he recently transferred to our locale and he told my mom, "I think I'll see <my name> more often now" with his face beaming. I cannot help but blush when he said that to my mom.

Am I supposed to assume that he has intentions now to court me or is he just saying that as something funny?

With my time with him thinning, we saw his dad waving at us and it seems they're in a hurry to leave. My mom suggested that before he leaves, him and I should have our picture taken. Idk what's with my mom but I love her for being so supportive 🤣 thanks mom! So in the middle of the crowd, we paved our way to a small corner and there, we took a picture. A picture I cannot stop looking for like hours now.

When he's about to leave, his younger sister arrived and called him that they should go. We talk for a bit asking her if she could still remember me (I was always invited to hang out at their house back in college so I know his family too). However, she can't seem to remember me...maybe bc I had my hair dyed and short now not like the long hair beyond the waist kind of length I had before. Anyway, we said our goodbye and my mom and I can't stop giggling about what just happened.

When I got home, which is also the only time my phone will be connected to the internet, I received a message from him.

"How're things? Could you send our picture earlier. I want to see"

When I sent it to him, he said...

"Why do I look ugly when I'm beside you?"

Our picture looks like those old couple photos from your parent's album back when they were young. Our smiles were simple but I think it was very memorable to both of us.

And there, we just talked about stuff and work then we went ahead to play online games with friends. It was a good night. I really had a good time and it's been so long since.

What do you think? Am I special to him? Or am I just another girl friend?

Do know that he's friendly with anyone and nothing wrong with that. That is his personality. I just wanted to know if my feelings are similar with him. Urgh it's been 7 years since I also confessed that I have a crush on him and up to this day, I think he remembers that very well. He's that kind of guy too. Remembers little things and stuff. And he's cute and handsome. My mom told me that she thinks the reason why I liked him is that he's my complete opposite. He's a calm and firm person while me - a chaotic and weird one.

I had many crushes in the past, but he's only the guy who stuck around me. That even though we went through the awkward part of our friendship, he's still there for me. (Tbh, we didn't speak for 2 years). But here we are now, bonding and building our friendship for the long run.

I just wish it could be more than that. And that he, is the one. My one.

Thanks for reading through my nonsense babbling. I just need to scream out my feelings somewhere and tumblr is my safe space. I don't trust my irl that much to tell them about my feelings towards him bc that might ruin everything. So yeah, let me know what you think and if you have ideas on how to cope about this kind of stuff, please do tell me bc I NEED IT SO BAD - my autistic and ADHD brain cannot handle this 😭👉👈

Wishin you a good day!

[thrilling-oneway]

Okay I wanted to make a post about my thoughts on the SIF 2 announcement yesterday. Might be quite long we'll see.

1. SIF 2 was pretty inevitable. I saw this announced coming a mile away. I started playing SIF at the beginning of the end, or at least for the EN server (read: August 25th 2020). Iirc the first event after I started was the Aqours flower crown one with Dance with Minotaurus as the song. So after the old format of 2 SRs, but before the 1 UR + 1 SSR + old event SR format. That weird period where they ran 7 SRs and then a party card (that wasn't released until months later bc EN sucked ass). I've seen Step Up boxes get removed, I've watched unidolised cards disappear, I've watched the UR rarity become a joke. I gave up waiting for new songs to be permanently implemented and I gave up waiting for new Master charts. I was there when EN got shut down. I was there for the Niji sprite R/SRs and the Liella screenshot cards. And most recently when the new schedule has massively slowed the release of content so that we're only now getting stuff that should've been released months ago. This game has been dying for so long and I can tell why now. While I haven't heard any news yet about the server being closed permanently, I wouldn't be surprised if it happens shortly after the release of SIF 2. Tbh I'm surprised the game lasted this long; when the EN server shutdown was announced me and a friend joked about how it wouldn't even make it to 9 years.

2. Is it really SIF 2 if we've had All Stars, 3 After School Activity games and Paradise (if you really want to count Paradise)?

3. On a more positive note: SIF 2!! As much as I love SIF and owe so much to it, the game has really been wearing me out. This seems like such a refreshing change of pace! Obviously we don't really know much yet but I'm looking forward to it. I hope this revives the popularity of SIF too, since I would like to not get bots in an event lobby for once in a while.

4. The card art is definitely catching my attention. We've only been shown a preview of what I'm assuming is Honoka's initial unidolised card, but the art is so pretty! SIFAS has gorgeous card art and old SIF art also slaps so the art for this game shouldn't disappoint. I'm gonna miss the actual card shaped cards that SIF has but I don't mind the bigger landscape cards.

5. EVERY SONG. EVERY FUCKING SONG. IS IN THIS GAME. Oh my days they did it they fucking did it. Finally. Also the remix and solos during events has really caught my eye. I'm assuming solos is just using the preexisting solo mixes for all μ's and some of Aqours songs, but remixes has got me curious. Do they mean like the Paradise remixes that were on that one compilation album? Or the ones from Aqours lives? Or completely new ones?

6. As for gameplay I hope they keep the 9 icon charts from SIF. Not only does the 9 member thing work but also it's such a fun style that not many other games use. I mean I wouldn't mind overly if they changed it to the bandori/pjsekai play style, but I will miss the SIF style. Also I have muscle memory for almost every chart so I just don't want them tp change. And I think it would be funny to watch bandori/pjsekai players suffer at the hands of Hajimari Road, Nico Puri Joushi Dou and Binetsu Kara Mystery etc etc. If they keep the same charts I hope there's a way to transfer data. Also if they change the play style I'll reinstall enstars because I need to be good at something.

7. I don't really have anything to say about the story it mostly likely won't be canon so does it really matter?

8. In terms of events I hope they keep something similar to the original. Especially Companion Match and Challenge Festival. Those are good. Token Collection can die in a fire. I mean something similar to bandori would be fine too. But if it's just like pjsekai marathon events then I don't want it.

9. Boy do I have something to say about team building. Team building and strat has always been a big part of SIF, and I hope they keep it in this game. And preferably closer to how SIF handles it because I still Do Not Understand SIFAS team building. SIF strat is very easily accessible too, you just build attribute based teams and use the right one for the song you are playing. Obviously if attribute merely became an event gimmick I won't be too fussed - that's how it is in all the other games I play - but I would definitely miss team building. ALSO IF THEY USE THE SAME SKILLS AS SIF HAS CURRENTLY I'LL BAIL GO BACK TO FAIR RATES.

[many-gay-magpies]

okay as much as i would Love to answer your whole post in detail and address the whole thing i can’t put a read more in my ask so i’m gonna limit it some 😭 would dms be more efficient? yes. am i writing this ask anyway? also yes.

and yeah i meant the Whole cb WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING THEM?? HOW LONG DID SUNGHOON HIT THE GYM FOR?? I DIDNT KNOW JAY’S VOICE COULD D O THE THINGS ITS DOING RN. NIKI IS OUT HERE LIVING HIS BEST ANGSTY TEEN LIFE.

“he’s selectively deaf” JDKSJDEB. no but fr i really do see jaan as a rigid, stubborn type, a stickler for rules when he’s the one making them but an absolute loose cannon whenever given an order. thankfully his “i do what i want” attitude doesn’t cause Massive problems bc he has a sense of responsibility and at least one braincell. jino, on the other hand… we’re just glad he’s cheerful and not particularly rebellious

CRAZY CAT VAMPIRES!! going back to noa with cat-like tendencies i imagine him padding around with a cat held in one arm “as a buddy” and everyone like “how has that thing not cleared you to death.” no but the guys having these old people tendencies is so funny to me it’s like a steve rogers situation where every once in a while it hits that “oh . oh right you may look like me but you’re Old” just heli smiling contentedly whenever he understands a pop culture reference or jaan crocheting (which is an even Better image now that i talked abt him up there) or jino learning to out-bake anyone’s grandmother (of course, being able to use his body as an oven helps)

no yeah . yeah sooha wanting to show them how to enjoy life as teenagers and then having to realize she couldn’t have a normal fun teenage life either and all of them working through it together and now i’m crying

i appreciate the chart and stuff bc there’s just So many ways to interpret vampirism and lycanthropy- disease, hereditary, extreme states of being (life or death), and each of them have so many implications and it’s fun to explore!! i wish we knew more abt solon and the guys’ origin UGH

- vrvr anon

man i always forget the limitations of this form of communication <///3 HSJFBVJV im just thankful tumblr apparently got rid of that word/character limit that they had on their asks for a while at least im assuming they did. that would have made our entire thing far less convenient

NO YEAH THE COMEBACK. HA. WOW. jay's voice DEFINITELY does a thing at the beginning of future perfect and i do NOT know how to feel about it. hybe needs to close the gyms fr because how much more ripped is sunghoon gonna GET. and yes u go riki get in your angsty edgy teen phase!!

jaan gives me chaotic lawful energy honestly—he's made his own set of rules and he sticks to them to the letter, but anyone ELSE'S rules? its fair game. jaan and jino both have the potential to be absolutely insane loose cannons (and sometimes ARE if the situation calls for it) but theyre stopped from being complete harbingers of chaos by the fact that jaan is actually oretty rigid and responsible (in his own strange way) and jino is happy-go-lucky cheerful instead of aggressively rebellious. if those two aspects of their personalities did not exist the world would be screwed.

NOA CARRYING A CAT AROUND "AS A BUDDY" PLS I CANT. THATS TOO SWEET. and maybe because hes tall af he can carry several more cats than his brothers and hes always just like (while holding six cats) "its the benefit of having long arms"

ive never watched a marvel movie of my own volition but i got weirdly involved in the fandom for some reason a couple years ago and because of that i Know Some Stuff. so now im thinking about heli being the ULTIMATE out-of-touch grandpa of the brothers, because hes the one out of all of them thats the most focused on protecting them and making sure they stay hidden, so hes never taken the TIME to get involved with the pop-culture of the time. and then when he actually starts to slow down a little and give himself time to LIVE instead of survive (thanks to sooha), and he starts looking into pop-culture more, he gets ABSURDLY PROUD anytime someone (like shion, because you KNOW shion would be the brother thats absurdly invested in everything pop-culture just because he thinks these modern humans are very entertaining) makes a reference to a meme or movie or something and he actually gets it! so like you said hes just sitting or standing there with this big old content grin on his face and he goes "i understood that reference!" and sooha or jino pat him on the shoulder like "yes u did good job heli" LMAO

"oh . oh right you may look like me but youre Old." KSGFJFBFJ EXACTLY and this could be said by either sooha (who even though she WAS born at the same time as them in our au, was conscious for significantly less of it) or OTHER students, in a hypothetical world where the brothers get less terrified for their lives, sooha makes more friends, and heli admits it wouldnt hurt to have a FEW more harmless teenagers in on the secret as long as they're harmless teenagers sooha trusts. which also brings to mind a situation in which jino befriends sooha's friends, and he's nice to them and likes them and everything because he's jino, but then said friends introduce jino to their grandparents and its all off the wall from there. sooha's human friend just stares at jino happily baking cookies and gossiping with their grandma like "why are you better friends with my grandma than you are with me"

i dont have much more to say about sooha and the boys experiencing normal life as teenagers together so im just gonna agree that yeah i am also crying. a lot. i am crying a lot. although in the hypothetical world where more humans get let in on the secret, the guys and sooha would actually have some Normal Teenagers to teach them how Normal Teenager Life is lived—at which point they could all be like "huh. actually we like the weird way we were doing it, but thanks!"

im glad the chart and everything was appreciated!! yeah theres so many different possible interpretations and i HAVE so many thoughts about those different possible interpretations. and many different possible interpretations of my own as you saw HSJFBFJB. its just!!! theyre both so COOL conceptually and theres so much that can be done with them!!! i also wish we knew more abt the guys' origins because so far all we know in canon is "woke up in an orphanage with no prior memories, already possessing both vampirism and magical powers. created somehow???" which. is NOT a lot. pls hybe

and hey look at that! i managed to answer this the same day it came into my inbox! and i only saved it to my drafts ONCE! yay me

[yesimwriting]

Hello! Your Nikolai fic tranquility is so beautiful! Can you write more for Nikolai? Maybe the opposite with reader having a nightmare? Or whatever you want just please give me more! If you have a tagging list I'd love to be included btw :)

A/n hii!! first off,, thank you! i was a little nervous about writing him for the first time,, but i love him so much (even though i love a good villain/morally grey character in love i think nikolai would probably make the least toxic bf in the grishaverse lol)

you gave me a little too much freedom here lol bc i have so many ideas for him!! lowkey might need to give him a longer fic/series soon when i catch up with requests!! WOW THIS FIC IS SO LONG AND FOR WHAT

Summary: Reader is a handmaid who has grown up assisting Nikolai. Through the years, the two have developed a special relationship that most definitely breaks royal protocol--they’re best friends and rivals on a good day, and dangerously close to being something more the second either of them is remotely upset or extremely happy. Learning about the fact that Nikolai was almost engaged to Alina (a good friend of yours) and being reminded of the fact that as royalty Nikolai has many prospects (both serious women worthy of his title and women only suitable for trysts meant to relieve tension) has you both realizing something you should have years ago.

Word count: 31210

Warnings: disclaimer--may not be the most cannon thing ever,, but i wanted the ‘child of the help competes and falls in love with the child of royalty’ energy okay?? Lol

I could do a whole blurb series with this dynamic nikolai x reader,, like just stories of them growing up together and randomly realizing they might like each other romantically?? I probably shouldn’t rn but i ADORE this trope.

--

The perfection of the room is disappointing. Idle hands, idle thoughts--so I work to smooth out a perfect duvet. Still, the thoughts come--aggressive and unavoidable. It’s silly, maybe even sad, to feel possessive over something that’s never been yours, something that could never be yours, but the harder I fight off the feeling the stronger it grows. Jealousy is a weed growing quickly in my chest, vile roots planted firmly in my heart.

Normally my favorite part of the day would be waiting for Nikolai to return to his room in the palace after dinner and his evening duties. He’s always a bit softer in the evenings, during my last check-in of the day. I’m normally thrilled to be done organizing his room early because that means the second he arrives there will be no distraction. Most evenings, he’ll find me perched in the seat by his bed, reading. He’ll mock-scold me for daring to defy his orders and reading ahead from the book we both take turns reading aloud from each night. He then warns me that I better react exactly the way I did when I first read it or else. That threat is always followed by a gentle laugh.

Tonight I’m in no mood for our nightly banter or even our nightly reading. My mother had warned me of the dangers of getting too comfortable with the royal family. I should have heeded that warning when she first gave it to me, the morning she found Nikolai and I fast asleep on a couch in the library as children. The palace likes to bring up the children of the staff by training them to attend to the next generation of royals. It makes the staff more efficient, a lifetime of knowing what someone wants makes you better for them. It also creates some level of connection, making betrayal a little less likely. Nikolai and I might have taken it farther than most. But now I want a reminder of the way we’re supposed to be--maybe if I detach now the bleeding of my heart won’t kill me. That has to remain secret, because if I explain it to Nikolai something in me will break. The one line between us will be crossed.

This will be the sixth secret I’ve kept from Nikolai in my entire life.

--

The secrets:

I don’t know why I was picked for Nikolai. I wasn’t particularly skilled, but still, the day came when my mother was told that I now worked directly for the Lantsov boy. It’s an honor, a true one, but my mother had been a little nervous. To whom much is given, much is expected--and I detested Nikolai. Not for being a prince, but for being a prince who thought girls couldn’t race or fight.

The day my mother came looking for me because I never showed up for dinner and she found Nikolai and I attempting to fight in the way only a ten-year-old girl and eleven-year-old boy would, she had looked truly mortified. Nikolai had only laughed, either oblivious to my mother’s embarrassment or uncaring about it. He had then hugged me--an expression of care that had left me reeling. I saw him more as a rival than someone to tend to, but in that moment I saw him as a friend. Even more so when he told me he didn’t want me to go yet and that he was upset that so much of the day had been wasted by studies that kept him with boring people and away from me. And then he invited me to his lessons--my mother was quick to attempt to decline politely, but the desires of a prince at any age outweigh that of a mother.

After that, everyone kind of just stopped trying to remind us of our propriety. The tutor at first was concerned about my presence, but Nikolai remained stubborn. I wasn’t a big enough deal to cause an argument, so I began to attend lessons with him almost every day, only staying away when my mother needed aid with laundry or cleaning. His parents must have been somewhat aware of our friendship, but they must have been oblivious to our closeness because it was never mentioned.

My mother’s worry began to ease, she’d even started to take some pride when I’d come to our room proudly proclaiming that I scored two marks higher than Nikolai. She did, however, warn that it might be more tactful to let him score higher.

The comment was casual, just a suggestion, but it left me feeling wrong. It was the first time since we met that I had thought about our different statuses. I didn’t tell him--and that was the first secret I ever kept from him.

As we grew, we traded physical competition for academic rivalry, trying to best each other in both lessons and games of strategy like chess and cards. But with growing comes responsibility. Nikolai started to have obligations that were meant to be private. I couldn’t follow him at all times. But he’d always come back from locked door meetings grinning like he carried schoolyard gossip instead of government secrets. He shared everything with me, even when I playfully warned against it.

He’d always step closer when I teased that perhaps he shouldn’t tell me everything. And then he’d say, “If I can’t trust you, then I can’t trust anyone--and I don’t want to live in a world like that.” Often, he’d give my hand a light squeeze before moving on like he had not said anything intimate.

On a day in which Nikolai was in one of those meetings, I became a woman. When I first saw the blood, I had been horrified--but my mother was quick to explain that it was natural. She said that I was now a woman, a wonderful thing, really--but a thing that came with obligations. She told me that I could no longer have the impromptu ‘sleepovers’ with Nikolai unless he ordered it. I told her he’s never ordered me to do anything for him.

She didn’t ease, something in her had started to become nervous again. My mother had recently started to act the way she did when Nikolai and I first became friends. I didn’t want to fall asleep in Nikolai’s bed while I was bleeding, but I didn’t want to never have another sleepover with him again. Especially not when she refused to explain why being a woman changed so much.

I had decided to avoid Nikolai as much as possible until the sting of my mother’s new rule faded. Unfortunately, that night Nikolai was extra talkative--excited as he insisted I stay for a little longer. Soon, I found his familiar good naturedness melting away my nerves and before I knew it I was laughing in the middle of the night. When my eyelids started to feel heavy, I had moved from the chair, ready to head back to my room.

Nikolai had looked at me oddly before he asked why would I leave so late when it would be easier for me to just sleepover? It was an innocent question, he did not know about my change and I had wanted to keep it that way.

I tried playing coy, but Nikolai has always had a talent for getting around my better judgement. I don’t recall exactly how it happened, but I remember him standing in front of me. It was the first time I noticed how much had actually changed over the years--he was now taller than me for the first time in his life. His hair had started to grow a little longer, golden and soft-looking--and his face seemed much more angular. But he had not lost his boyish charm.

“Y/n?” My name fell softly from his lips, and that was the first time I had ever noted the fullness of them. I didn’t understand why I considered that something worth noting. “Did I do something to make you mad at me?”

Perhaps I had been a little curt--nerves and hormones had left me not feeling like myself. I didn’t tell him about the bleeding, I couldn’t. That became the second secret I kept from him--but I did tell him that my mother had told me I was a woman now, and that women can’t have sleepovers. Not with those of the opposite gender. I made no effort to hide my confusion because I expected him to be as perplexed as I was. But he was not confused--in fact, he had the audacity to laugh. My face flushed, but I did not know why.

“Why is that funny?” Maybe he thought I was still too much of a child to be considered a woman. I assumed it a fair assumption, I had not grown the way he had--my shoulders had not become sturdier and I had not become particularly broader. Still, I would rather melt into the floor than tell him about the reason my mother now considered me a woman. “My mother did say that, and I don’t know what being a ‘woman’ has to do with staying in your room at night.” Something strange had crossed over his features then, something much more brooding than I was used to.

I had blinked at him as unexplained nerves pooled in my stomach. Perhaps that look would have been enough to keep me silent if he had managed to not grin. That self-assured grin that had always challenged me. “Well since you know everything about my mother now, maybe you can tell me why she’s been acting strange. She’s starting to act the way she did when we first became friends.” I expected him to at least pretend to be worried. Perhaps his parents had spoken to her and had mentioned wanting our friendship to end. But his grin had only grown. Pride left me angry. “She did say that I could stay if you ordered it--but I’m glad you’ve never ordered me to do anything, so I can leave right now because you’re acting as odd as her. I don’t understand what you could find funny about our friendship ending.”

He had stopped me from storming out of his room by placing one hand on the wall between me and the door. “Y/n, don’t be cross--I’ll explain it all, I promise.” Angry pride made me want to storm away from him, but curiosity and something unknown and warm kept me in place. “Do you remember when we read the play about the rival families, how the two main characters had kissed?”

I remembered that part of the play especially well. The concept of kissing so casually, outside of marriage, had been jarring to me. “Yes.”

“Now that we’re older, your mother must be worried that we might do that.” He paused before leaning against the arm he placed on the wall to keep me from leaving a little more. “Kiss.”

The clarification was not needed--in that brief pause, I had allowed myself to imagine no distance between our lips. Something in me burned with embarrassment when I realized that some part of me found the thought appealing. The only thing I wanted in that moment was assurance that Nikolai would never know I felt that. That was my third secret, and the weight of it was heavy against my chest.

Still, though, all of my confusion had not yet left. “Is there much harm in a kiss?”

The question had left an odd smile on his lips. “There’s potential harm in what it could lead to for the woman, but not so much for the man.” He exhaled slowly as my face tensed. He could always read me too well because he was quick to add, “What it could lead to isn’t a bad thing, it’s meant to be pleasurable, but it’s serious.” I did not understand, but a part of me was starting to grow okay with that. Nikolai’s voice had started to become lower than ever, and his gaze remained tense. Perhaps if I accepted the confusion for now, things could go back to normal. If the conversation ended, I could stop thinking of his lips and his hands and what it would mean for them to touch me. “It’s considered a vice, like drinking or gambling.” The additional comment helped more than it should have. A vice--not scary and not painful, but not something to indulge in. That’s enough explanation for now. “If you want to know, I won’t deny you.”

I appreciated the offer tremendously. The vice that comes after kissing is clearly something that’s been intentionally kept from me. It’s something he was privy to that I was not, and he offered it to me like so much else. But if knowledge that my mother feared us kissing made me think of his lips, then I doubted I could handle knowing what comes after kissing.

“I’ll let you know when I want to know, but I appreciate the offer.” It felt like a fair response. His snarky grin came back immediately. Irritation rooted itself in my stomach. I hated not knowing more than him for once, but I still had one question I could not relinquish. “But what does that vice have to do with orders?”

At that, his smugness faltered. “It’s not unheard of, for princes and handmaids--for a prince to obligate a handmaid in order to fulfill his vice. Though many handmaids fill the vice of their own will for benefits.

The explanation left him like a confession. I didn’t understand his hesitance--it’s not like he’d ever make me do anything I didn’t want to do. Even when I worked, he was hesitant to ask me to go out of my way to bring him a glass of water. And I couldn’t imagine gaining anything from offering Nikolai something I didn’t really understand. I wasn’t naive to the fact that my life had more privileges than many palace servants. “Oh.”

His eyes hardened. “You know I’d never--”

“I know.” It was finally easy to smile again. “I never thought otherwise.” Something in him seemed to ease at that, his eyes went from hard to warm in less than a second.

I had no more questions for him and I was also no longer a flight risk, but Nikolai did not move. He did not step back to create a more appropriate distance and he did not drop his arm. His gaze, however, did move--dropping downwards, and slightly away from my eyes. I did the same, my eyes falling to his lips.

The silence between us began to make me feel like something in me was in danger of overflowing. “Then I guess my mother is once again worrying for no reason.” Strangely, I did not feel the need to feel embarrassed about staring at his lips. “Because I would never particularly want to kiss you, Nikolai Lantsov.”

The comment was meant to be teasing, a joke to clear away unknown tension. I should have known better than to challenge his pride because he instinctually moved his hand off the wall and beneath my chin. I did not flinch when he tilted my head upwards slightly with his fingers. “I could get you to want to kiss me if I wanted to.”

Three secrets in one night. I did not think I could bear a fourth one. “Hm…” The ground we treaded on felt unstable, but something in me trusted Nikolai to not let me falter. “I should--I should go before I give my mother anymore cause to worry.”

His fingers had brushed down my chin easily as he dropped his hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

And that he did. The days passed without mention of the last time he asked me to sleepover. It was as if nothing had changed except now I found myself noting things I most definitely did not want to note. These didn’t feel like individual secrets because it felt easy to group each admirational thought into one secret. Soon, that became my new normal--easy banter, easy touches of hands, and easy yet silent admirations of his beauty.

I never wandered too hard about what the vice that kissing can lead to entailed. I didn't particularly want to know, but knowing that I could ask Nikolai at any time brought a sense of security to me. But besides that, I never thought of that conversation until the day I was asked to look for Nikolai because he was late for dinner.

That in itself was odd, most of the time when Nikolai was late it was because he was with you. I checked his room, two other rooms he was known to frequent, and then finally the library. First, I noticed a handmaid two years older than me. I was finally at an age when one begins to compare their beauty to those around them, and I recognized the girl as gorgeous. She was better endowed than me, physically, and she always seemed fun. And then I noticed Nikolai, standing closer to her than I’ve ever seen him stand to anyone. His expression was serious as the girl giggled.

Nikolai’s expression shifted from tense to shocked when he saw me. “Y/n.”

It took me a moment longer than it should have to realize what I had interrupted. Guilt and jealousy were quick to twist in my stomach. “Dinner--your parents sent me to look for you.”

He was quick to walk around the girl, who was quick to glare at me. I attempted to disappear down the hall after mumbling a quick apology, but Nikolai was faster than me.

“Y/n,” he did not hesitate to grab my wrist.

It shouldn’t have irked me the way it did, after all, neither of us had ever really hesitated to touch each other. I had always reached for him when I wanted him, and he had done the same. But the thought of the same hands that touched the most beautiful girl I had ever seen on me left me bitter in a way I didn’t understand.

Still, I pushed through all of that. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything, your mother asked me to look for you because she assumed you’d be with me when you were late to dinner. I didn’t think that there’d be--”

“You didn’t interrupt anything.” The words came out flat as his eyes took on the same quality they did the night he explained my mother’s concern to me. “Valaria wishes there was something to interrupt, but there wasn’t.”

Oh. I refused to let the correction inflate me. “Would you like me to not come to your room tonight?”

The offer felt awkward to make. “No,” the answer came quickly, “In fact, go there now--I want to see you right after dinner. I’ve missed you today.” The instruction left my face feeling warm. “We could read an extra chapter of our book if you’d like.”

Despite myself, I grinned. “Yes.”

“Looking forward to it.”

True to his word, Nikolai was quick to return to his room. He had come back to me eagerly, going out of his way to squeeze my shoulder as he entered the room.

I opened the book to the chapter we had left off on, but before I could start reading, Nikolai stopped me. “Sit next to me?”

The question came softly. It had been some time since we sat next to each other on his bed. Still, I moved off of the chair and to his bed. Something in me longed for the familiar closeness of childhood. I allowed him to play with my fingers as I read.

“You know you could take one night off from me if you wanted to.” The admission left me softly, part of unsure if he was still paying attention to my words. “She was pretty, it wouldn’t have hurt my feelings if you told me you wanted me to not come tonight.”

Nikolai exhaled easily, squeezing my fingers once. “I said I wanted to see you and I meant it.”

It took all of my energy to push past the way his words made my stomach leap. “In general, if you ever--”

Nikolai cut me off by laying his head on my lap the way he used to. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” It was the first time in years that he spoke to me in a way that acknowledged his authority. “Keep reading please.”

And that was the last time we had ever mentioned other handmaids in that context. The fifth secret I ever kept from him was the way I worried that one day that would change.

--

The door creaks open while I’m in the middle of fluffing an already pristine pillow. Nikolai steps into the room, but I continue to work.

“Darling,” he breathes too easily, “Today has been painful.” I straighten, looking at him as casually as I can manage. “And now I have to deal with you being mad at me.”

Damn him and his ability to read me with one look. “I’m not mad.”

“You know you can’t lie to me,” he sighs, stepping forward, “We’ve known each other too long for that.”

I press my lips together, irrational anger pushing itself into me at an odd angle. “We’ve also known each other too long to keep secrets.”

His eyebrows draw together, a look so quizzical I’m reminded of our schooling days. “What secrets have I kept from you?”

Mentioning that had been a mistake. I exhale as flatly as possible. “I shouldn’t have mentioned it.” My dismissal only has Nikolai’s expression hardening. I drop my gaze. “Unless you need something, I’m retiring my services for the evening.”

I take a reluctant step towards the door, eyes attached to the floor. “Y/n,” his voice is gentle. “What is it?”

“It’s nothing, I’m just tired.” Please let that be at least somewhat believable. “I’m sure I’ll feel more like myself in the morning.” I take another step, a little more assured. Nikolai’s hand is on my shoulder before I can escape. “Nikolai--”

“Y/n,” his voice is that of velvet, “I can’t have you be mad at me. Not now.”

Sighing, I meet his gaze. The tiredness I see behind his eyes is almost enough to chase away my nerve. What I’d give to be able to melt into our familiar routine. “Then you should have told me you were almost engaged to a literal Saint--the same literal Saint who’s one of my closest friends.”

Nikolai’s expression shifts as his hand drops from my shoulder slowly, fingers brushing down my arm before he finally intertwines our fingers. I bite my tongue to avoid squeezing his hand, but I don’t move to separate us either. He studies me silently, eyebrows drawn together. The longer he stares, the more whatever turmoil he’s experiencing seems to dissipate. After a minute of silence, I can read his expression perfectly. His lips are pressed together in that coy way--the way he only looks when he’s suppressing a smile.

I loathe him for it. “Nikolai Lantsov, don’t you dare laugh--not after what you did. Do you have any idea what it felt like to have Alina casually mention the fact that you almost married her casually? Like that was common knowledge to everyone but me?”

My words break away the last of his self control. He grins, flashing his annoyingly perfect teeth. “Do you have any idea what it feels like for me to want nothing more than to see you and then you let me believe something may actually be wrong when the only issue is your jealousy?”

The amusement in his tone is like poison to me. I find the strength to jerk my hand away from him. “I am not jealous.” He laughs; I am further enraged. “I am not.” The genuineness of my anger must finally register on some level, because he tries to suppress his smile. “I have every right to be mad at my best friend for not telling me that he was almost married.”

“We didn’t exactly come close,” he manages, expression still much too light for my taste. “I’m glad for Alina’s sake, I’m not sure being a Saint would be enough to protect her.”

He is infuriating. “I’m not sure anything you have will be enough to protect you.”

Something in his gaze shifts, softening the tilt of his mouth. “I don’t doubt that.”

I don’t know what I expected from him--but not this. I thought he’d be at least somewhat apologetic. “You should have told me.”

“I would have if I felt it was significant.”

“I’m your best friend--your marriage is significant to me. And even though it’s not like you’re engaged to her right now, you should have told me. You know I talk to Alina all the time.”

He sighs once, a hint of apology threatening to ghost over his eyes. “If I knew not knowing would have upset you so much I would have told you. I was--I was just so excited to be around you again I didn’t see much relevance in anything that didn’t involve you.”

The intensity that Nikolai regards me with is enough to wither all of my fury. But without my anger, I am left spiraling in emotion that I’ve been pushing against for years. My mother’s warning about relationships with those above us rings in my ears--sharp and headache inducing. I am still when he reaches for my hand again, but I do no allow myself to return the gentle squeeze of his fingers.

“I’m not sure much outside of you has significance.” He’s giving me a look I am familiar with. A look he often uses to chase away my anger.

Without my anger, I have nothing to keep me from melting into him, indulging in his presence fully. It’s so easy with him and I blinded myself to the danger of that. He may not be marrying Alina, but one day he will marry someone. A person worthy of his status--and what would I be left doing? Washing their laundry? Tearing up when I dusted the library and came across a book we had read together? Enough damage has already been done--I need to cut myself with this blade now in hopes of making sure I can one day recover.

He will get married one day, and nothing will be the same. And that’s a good thing--he deserves the love of a princess or queen. I want his happiness, even if it’s not with me. But some vindictive part of me hopes that some part of him will miss me. That some part of him will be dulled without me.

I’m a fool--he will remember me as the handmaid from his youth. The girl who made him laugh once or twice before he grew up. I force my hand out of his grasp. “You can’t win me over with words every time.” I need to get out of here before he says something that makes me lose all resolve. “Tomorrow morning I’ll be here to prepare you for breakfast.”

“Y/n.”

I step forward, refusing to look at him. “Goodnight.”

He sighs, his hand quick to grab my arm. Before I can question him I feel myself pulled back. I expect him to pull me just close enough so that I have to meet his gaze. He continues, pulling me sharply before placing a quick hand on my shoulder, forcing me down. My back hits his bed.

I sit up as soon as the reality of what just happened seeps into my mind. “Nikolai, what in the Saints--”

“If you’re going to act like a child, I’m going to treat you like one.”

I scoff, thoughts of escaping him put on hold by the principle of pride. Fine. I’ll beat him one last time, and then I’ll let us separate. I shove him. He laughs--of course this is funny to him. He got to keep fighting past the age of about eleven. His laughter adds to my anger, I move to shove him again, but he catches my wrist easily. I struggle against his hold, shoving him a third time with my still free hand. He pushes me slightly. That’s all it takes to unleash familiar habits.

Our small fight is hardly fair. He has all the advantage--more training, and he’s standing above me. When I finally make a move that might give me some success, Nikolai leans forward. He practically tackles me, his weight forcing me flat against the bed.

I move an arm, ready to push him off of me. Nikolai snags my wrists, holding them above my head. “This means I win.” I roll my eyes, anger returning.

“Let me go.”

He sighs tiredly, but the smugness radiating off of him is suffocating. “Admit that you were jealous.”

There are a lot of things I am willing to do for him--but never that. I cannot give him the one separation I still have. “I wasn’t.”

“Then why are you mad?”

I press my lips together. “I told you--”

“Do you really think you could lie to me?”

“You don’t know me that well.”

Nikolai moves his freehand, touching my chin as a way to ask me to look at him. I meet his gaze hesitantly. “Yes, I do, and that’s never bothered you before but it does now.”

Maybe this is a conversation better had bluntly. “It bothers me now because you’re too old to hold onto the daughter of a palace handmaid and I’m too old to pretend that our different statuses don’t matter.”

“Y/n,” he breathes, “Nothing’s changed. Status didn’t matter to me when we were children, and it doesn’t matter to me now.”

“You can afford to say things like that.”

“What good is my title if it means I can’t,” he pauses, eyes hesitant, “If I can’t keep things the same between us?”

I smile, the sadness of the look weighs on me and I can’t even see it. “Nikolai, you always knew things would change.”

“No, I--”

“You can’t tell me you think your future wife would like you having such a close relationship with a handmaid.” I press my lips together. “One day you’ll fall in love and get married and you’ll want me to leave your bedchamber as soon as dinner is over because you’ll be eager to spend time with your wife.” His gaze hardens. “And that’s not a bad thing. It’s actually a really good thi--”

The last syllable of my sentence dies in my throat. Nikolai, who must be possessed by something, leans down and presses his lips against mine. I beg myself to resist, but his gentleness is everything I’ve ever wanted. He releases my hands in favor of holding my face. That’s all it takes--my hands move without my permission, into his hair--pulling him closer to me. What am I doing? I’m insane. Placing my hands on his chest cautiously, I push just slightly. He’s quick to obey, pulling away while allowing his teeth to brush against my bottom lip.

I gape at him--taking in his now slightly swollen lips. “Nikolai.” He can’t do this to me. We’re friends. Despite the fact that I’ve loved him more than I should--we’re friends. “You’re being extremely unfair.”

He draws his eyebrows together, sitting up quickly and moving off of me. “I’m being unfair? I have spent my entire life loving y--”

I sit up, furious in a new way. “You have not!” This is the dumbest I have ever been. I move to stand, still feeling the softness of his lips against mine.

“Your tooth fell out.” The sharpness of his words forces me to still.

“What?”

I can’t bring myself to turn and look at him, but I’ve always been able to feel any heaviness he bears. The weight of it leaves little room for air in my lungs. “You were ten. I told you ‘girls couldn’t fight’ so you punched me in the face. That was the first time we ever fought--I didn’t mean to hit you in the face, but you moved. You moved and I hit you in the mouth and your last baby tooth fell out. I expected you to cry or get angry, but you just blinked at me and laughed. You were happy to lose your last baby tooth because it meant you were grown up. And then you smiled and asked me if you looked older. If anything, the gap in your smile made you look younger but I told you that you looked like a grown-up because I wanted you to keep smiling. Because your smile made me feel like I won something.” I turn on my heels, but I cannot meet his gaze. “That was the moment I fell in love with you--so don’t tell me I haven’t spent my entire life loving you.”

The weight of his words is harder to survive against than the heaviness of his feelings. “Nikolai, you know we can’t ever be together--”

“Why not?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” I manage, voice low, “You almost married the Sun Summoner--”

“That was political--”

“Exactly, your marriage is meant to be political, and if it happens to be out of love--which is what I hope you get, because it is what you deserve--it will be to someone of status.”

Nikolai stands, the movement is that of a king, not the boy I know. “I do not want status or to love someone else--I want you.”

“I can’t take that from you--”

“You can’t take anything from me because I’ve already given it all to you.”

I press my lips together, heart tearing for him. “I love you too much to ruin you.”

My words seem to snap something in him because his eyes darken, the way he watches me adjusting accordingly. “You can’t ruin something that’s always been yours.”

I let myself smile. At him. At his words. At the foolish hope the child in me has clung to after all of these years. I reach for him thoughtlessly, because I have the right to. Because I’ve always had the right to. He’s quick to respond, kissing me with much more security than before.

This time, he pulls away of his own regard. “You still haven’t admitted that you were jealous.”

His teasing smugness isn’t as sour to me anymore. “I wasn’t.”

Nikolai pulls me towards him easily, lips threatening to brush against me, warm breath against my face. “Are you sure, darling? You were awfully quick to claim what’s yours.”

I roll my eyes, grinning so widely I’m surprised my face doesn’t yet hurt. “You’re the one that fell for a ten-year-old girl with a bloody mouth.”

When he smiles back at me, he places a hand on my hip, pulling me forward slightly. “That I did.” He pulls me forward slightly. "Does this mean you can sleep in here again?"

"If anything, this is more reason for me to sleep in another room." He rolls his eyes, pulling me even closer. "But I won't tell if you don't."

Nikolai leans forward, pressing his lips to my forehead. "Deal."

tags: @deardiarystuff @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy  @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

[tipsydipsydo]

Pairing: tall! & sub! Reader x dom! OT7 BTS

Gender of the Reader: male

Word Count: 2.3k  

Rating: 18+

Genre: Smut/PwP

Warnings: Dirty Language + Dirty Talk; Dom-/Sub-Dynamics; accidental overhearing of a phone call, Mentions of Exhibitionism & Voyeurism; Mentions of Sex Toys & Masturbation; slightly mentioned Double Penetration; mentions of Anal play; Praising; Petnames; some Degradation; Daddy-Kink; Teasing; slight Edging; the boys are teasing the poor reader to Death

A/N: Well- that was a quick writing. Instead of studying I decided to write this funny request and to use my procrastination in a better way than scrolling stressed through TikTok. I hope y’all like it!!

Status: unedited bc I am lazy and should study. 

Request: i want to request a drabble/one shot: sub taller male reader and his seven boyfriends in which he confidently talks naughty things with his friend on phone but when he realized his bf are watching, he became crazily shy because he is just a big cute boy, then his bf decided they want to test those ‘words’ he has said, poor boy =))

Requested by: anonymous 

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Thank you.

After too many and super busy weeks full of work, you’ve finally managed to find a free afternoon in your schedule where your best friend and you have enough time for a nice, long telephone call on the couch. You are already over one and a half hour on the phone, exchanging the newest stuff that happened in your life with each other and joking around. Slowly your conversation turns their focus to your more private life and your bestie asks you about your polyamorous relationship with your boyfriends. At first just normal things like, how’s it going in general, how you all manage the relationship with all the different time schedules, how often it comes to fights and how you deal with that etc. Just normal stuff and  the ‘typical’ questions you’re already used to, when people realize that you’re not in a monogamous relationship. 

Your best friend and you grew up together. You met each other in elementary school, went through the curses of puberty as an inseparable team and even survived middle and high school thanks to the other one. Already in your teens, where both of you made your first experiences and got into your first relationships, your best friend had a guess that you’re not as straight as you want him to believe. No, they even assumed that you’re maybe not made for the typical monogamous relationship which the society preach every fucking day. 

Well, turns out that your best friend really knew you better than you did yourself back then but honestly, nowadays you’re thankful for their suggestions and that they gave you the save space you needed to dare to make new experiences in those directions. 

Nevertheless, they were still more than surprised when you introduced him to not only two or three boyfriends, no that you brought seven (!) other men to their birthday party two years ago. At first they were a little worried if you didn’t overload yourself with such a complex relationship dynamic and that it’ll turn out as a serious burden and not an enrichment for your life. Turns out, now it was their turn to make a false assumption about what’s the best for you and theu were more than happy to admit that everything turned out just fine. It truly makes their heart swell to hear the happiness in your voice through the phone everything you mention something about the boys. 

Quickly your phone call turn into an even more private talk and dedicate itself to the really interesting stuff. You’re sharing every detail in your life with another, so why should it stop when it comes to sex talk? You have absolutely no problem and any shame to talk freely with your best friend about your kinks and dirty thoughts. Sometimes you even think that you’re better informed about each other’s preferences better than your actual partner(s) are. 

“I think, I already told you that idea more than once... that I have a thing for exhibitionism and the thought of getting catched doing something ‘forbitten’ or ‘dirty’, right? Uhm... TMI but I don’t give a shit, whenever I am alone at home because they’re busy and we can’t meet for some days... I mastubate with some of the toys they’ve bought for me and imagine that they catch me. You know, when we have sessions with Dom and Sub Dynamics, they’re only temporarily and usually we go back to normal in the moment when the scene is over... that means, when I am alone and horny, I can do whatever I want to. I can jack off or fuck myself as much I desire and they wouldn’t say anything about it. It’s not like, I don’t appreciate my personal freedom when it comes to masturbation or that I want something completely different, no! We both already talked about that too, I don’t like the idea of Total Power Exchange, I prefer to be an independent person as soon as I walk out of the bedroom- okay, not only bedroom, we have sex in other places than the bedroom too- ANYWAY, what I wanted to say with that: ...”, you mutter and take a deep breath into your lungs. 

After holding such a long monologue your mouth dried up terribly and now you need quickly something to drink. You get up from the couch and walk over to the kitchen island to pour some soda into a glass. A satisfied hum leaves your throat after you took some gulps of your favourite sparkling sugar bomb. 

The whole time, where you moved around in the eat-in kitchen of the apartment, you are not that alone anymore as you thought you’d be, especially right in this moment. Namjoon, Hoseok and a boyish smirking Jimin joined you around ten minutes ago, leaning casually against the wall next to the door of the room and listen very interested to the conversation you have with your friend right now. They didn’t mean to overhear your private talk, they just wanted to know what kind of take-out food you’d prefer for tonight. 

Unfortunately your conversation turned out to be very, very interesting for them, so they decided to give you some more time to talk with your best friend about the sexual fantasies you have which they don’t know about... well, until now.

Hoseok texted the other boys in the group chat to join them in the living room as well, they need to hear those very important information too! 

Poor you, completely oblivious and naïve to what’s happening in this moment, not getting any kind of hint that not only your best friend would get those significant informations...

“...-what I actually wanted to say with that: I prefer to be independent in relation to all other non-sexual life-responsibilities. Well, that doesn’t mean we couldn’t increase the Erotic Power Exchange, right? To be very honest, I can’t get the fantasy of them taking my sextoys away and to forbid me to touch myself without their permission out of my head. I love to be their good boy and to get praises, I really do... but there is this thrill to be break the instructed rules, getting caught while doing it and getting punished for it. I want... I want to get called bad, filthy and dirty names, I want to be a disobedient, greedy and insatiable slut for them. I want to get spanked, edged and overstimulated, I want to get fucked into the mattress so bad, up to the point where I can’t get a single clear thought together and my brain turned to mush... I want to get used, ruined and wrecked by their cocks, getting my holes stuffed full with their cum and then plugged up, so nothing can run out anymore- God fuck, I should stop talking like that or I’ll get a serious problem! Well... sorry for so much detailed TMI, you know that this shit always happens when you tell me to stop overthinking and encourage me to spill everything that comes to my mind. Now you got every filthy detail you’ve asked for, you’re welcome.”, you joke sarcastically and facepalm yourself. You can’t believe how incredibly blunt and shameless you just threw your latest sex fantasy in every fucking detail at your poor best friend. 

Usually you’re more than shy to talk about such things, in your understanding the magic for your shameless mouth towards your best friend has to reside in the deep thrust you have in him and simply the knowledge that your relationship is platonic. It’s not like that you couldn’t trust your boyfriends wholeheartedly, god no! You know, that they would never kinkshame you for anything, 

it’s just... after sharing those thoughts it would result something out of it. You don’t want that they  think you’re a weirdo or that they only do specific things because they know it would turn you on. 

The other one just snorts in amusement when you voice this slight helpless apology, they can imagine the significant blush which has settled down on your cheeks. 

“Hey buddy, don’t apologize for that. There is nothing to apologizing for, I am way too curious for my own good as well and I need to make sure that you’re happy in your relationship, especially when it comes to the point if they are able to fulfill your sexual desires. I need to know that, believe me. Okay, there’s one thing... I knew you were submissive, my dude. But I didn’t expect that you’d be such a masochistic hoe and that you’d have such a thing for degradation, Jesus! Nevermind, more important: did you talked with them about that fantasy? Would they be down for this idea and would they like to be more in charge? Please do not tell me that you’re too shy to talk with them about it, not again! I tell you this every goddamn time, communication is key!”, your best friend says to you in a serious tone. 

Here you go again, getting scolded by your friend all over again. He is right, you know that... y’all already talked about ‘how to deal with certain kinks some of them or you have but the others aren’t into and how to not make them feel bad or insecure about it’ several times, you tend to overthink everything you have ever said to them all over again. You are always so flustered when seven pairs of eyes are looking at you, waiting for an answer. You are tall, even taller than Namjoon, but under their curious stares you feel always so small, fiddling with your fingers around like a little schoolboy. You love that about them, putting you into such a submissive place just with their aura and charisma and giving you the feeling as if they overtower you physically too. 

“I can absolutely agree with Y/BF/N, communication is key. Why didn’t you told us those nasty fantasies you have in your cute head up here, right away? Too shy again? Do we really need to call your best friend the next time to get some hints to your secret kinks, Babyboy?”, Taehyung rasps into your earshell and wraps his arms around you. He chuckles slightly as you squeak high-pitched in surprise. 

An equal surprised yelp of your best friend comes out of the speaker of your phone which takes Yoongi out of your hand and excuse you with the apology that ‘they need to have an important talk with you now and that you have to hang up unfortunately’. 

The display of your phone turns dark and Yoongi puts it on the surface of the kitchen island before he flashes you a dirty smile. That you’re mortified that they caught you spilling all those filthy fantasies to your best friend is the understatement of the century. Never and you mean never did you hoped so bad that the floor opens up and swallows you whole, saving you from this embarrassing misery. But Yoongi give you much time to drown in shame, coming up to you and connect your lips to a rough kiss. 

“God, I love it when our so sweet and shy Baby has such nasty and indecent fantasies in his head... why don’t you tell us these ideas in every single filthy detail once again? I think we could turn the information into some very good use, big boy~”, whispers the smaller one with blown-out eyes against your lips.

“...or would you prefer that we call you a needy cumslut, hm? The things I’ve heard give me the assumption that you want to get fucked stupid and pumped full with cum as if you are our personal playtoy?”, growls Jungkook and grabs himself a handful of your right asscheek, kneading it with a firm grip in his big palm. 

“Come on, big boy, admit that you want exactly the things Jungkook just said... I can feel how fucking hard you just got from his words... already so hard and swollen against my palm even though we barely touched you. You’re truly such a pathetic, needy slut... I bet you’d already cum in your pants if we just tease you enough... Am I right?”, chuckles Namjoon in his deep, arousal soaked timbre against your neck, nibbling at the sensitive spot of your Adam’s apple. 

“...what about we change our location to the bedroom and talk about the things you’ve said to Y/BF/N? Maybe we could try some of your newest kinks out? Would you like the thought of us watching you from the couch while you prepare your needy asshole for us? Showing us how you stuff you clenching rim with a girthy dildo? Wearing a cockring so you couldn’t cum without our permission? Prepping yourself all messy, whining for our finger, tongues and dicks in your ass like the greedy slut you are? Yeah, you’d love that thought.”, Seokjin teases you mercilessly, rolling your sensitive balls in his palm, just how you like it.  “Y-Yes, Daddies... I’d love to be a greedy cumslut for you... please turn me into one!”, you wisper. 

@cys-mental-escapades​; @bangtanloverboys​; @btsxmalereaders​

[honklore]

Can you do headcanons for sapnap with a shy reader please?❤️💌

ALSO I LOVED LANDSLIDE IT CHANGED MY LIFE

shy!reader headcanons | sapnap

(gender neutral, non-au, this is less of a headcannon and more of a small story sorry about that)

listen to: georgia by vance joy

okay firstly to premise, i think sapnap is a pretty shy guy himself. he’s absolutely the guy who refuses to correct a waiter after they read their order back to him wrong

so he would get it. i don’t really think he would try to push you out of your comfort zone

lets say you guys met in a csgo lobby lol. sapnap was practicing before a stream, playing with strangers, and you popped up

and you didn’t speak for the first like. five rounds. you were AMAZING with last minute clutches but you never spoke so people just kind of assumed you didn’t have ur mic on

except one round, sapnap lost focus and nearly ruined the round, forgetting to call out his location for a cover

luckily you came in with the clutch and shot the enemy before they could get to sapnap, saving the round

and so while in the lobby, sapnap turns on his mic and just “[user], thanks for saving my ass out there.”

and your voice just comes through, a little clipped and very shy, “no problem,” before your mic is muted again

sapnap ends up saving ur gamer tag and inviting you whenever he needs someone to play with or fill a lobby

this turns into playing every day, and you guys become rlly good friends thru the screen. you both keep to yourselves for the most part, a strict csgo relationship if you will

and then sapnap is like. i rlly like them. i want to be their bestie.

so he asks if you want to play with him and his friends sometime, maybe in minecraft or jackbox

and you’re a little overwhelmed bc you know they have a decent online presence. but he’s nice to you and you don’t have many online friends so you say yes :)

and he’s like SO excited bc all of his friends are going to meet his new friend

only he’s been talking abt u to karl and dream and george and q for like. ages. since like. THE NIGHT he met u on csgo. (bc he’s a pisces and he gets v attached to anyone who breathes in his direction)

(i’m a pisces i can say it)

when you join the lobby (no one is streaming) he has the boys in a separate call to give him advice just in case he needs it

you don’t really speak unless spoken to, and when the boys get rlly loud they can kind of forget to include you

so sapnap always brings you back into the convo by asking you a question or making a quick joke

george in their chat: simp

you guys play jackbox, and you rlly like quiplash and survive the internet and others where you can just type

(and you’re really good at it like the boys think ur rly funny and clever)

but of course the boys want to play mad verse city, and you’re like,,, rlly nervous and don’t really want to rap,, so sapnap raps for you,, and he’s the loudest to hype you up after each of your verses

and you’d slowly get more comfortable with the boys. it’s easy to flow with them bc they’re so loud and obnoxious that you can mind your own business and still feel like part of their convos.

so anyways it’s months into your friendship, and sapnap has developed the fattest crush on you. if he’s not on call with the boys, he’s on call with you

chat knows about you bc sapnap always has you on his alt streams to talk and hang out with him. surprisingly, chat is very protective over you and cheer you on even if you’re on a different team than sap

i imagine sapnap gives you his minecraft info and lets you go around the dsmp the same way dream lets drista hang out with his info

just... a stream where he leads you around and just talks to you in vc while you share your screen with him,,, and chat is like. sapnap you are so in love.

you spend your time in the smp making a cottage and a house for yourself. you even tame a cat.

(it’s the first pet on the server that sapnap doesn’t try to kill. that’s how chat knows he’s in too deep.)

and the thing is,, he wants to ask u to be his s/o,, but you’re so shy that he has no idea how you feel about him

you’re not flirty and you’re friendly with everyone, so it’s hard to see any signs.

(sapnap is also just kinda dumb, bc he doesn’t realize that you only address him when you talk, you’re only comfortable in calls if he’s there too, you have made him a playlist called “sapnap <3”, you made him a flower garden in minecraft and literally mined netherite for him to return to when he came back on the server)

like sapnap is thinking on such a large scale that all of these little things you do don’t register as anything more than friendship

and he’s in call w the dteam one day and he’s just like “guys :/ idk if they like me :/”

dream calls him a dumbass

george hangs up

when george comes back, you join the call too, and sapnap can only assume george messaged you to join

“tell them, sapnap”

“george you’re such an idiot, y/n don’t listen to him we were just messing around.”

“okay,” you say. “but i’m here to talk if you ever need me.”

sapnap wants to burst because he likes you so much, he’s just so terrified of messing up what you guys have that he would rather stay silent

he doesn’t want to run you off, but he doesn’t want you to think he doesn’t like you either

“can i call u?” he asks “without these two nimrods to hear us?”

you agree, and you start talking as soon as you two are in a separate call. “sap? are you okay? you’ve been acting weird lately.”

“i rlly like you,” he just blurts it out, because it’s the easiest way for him. he can’t take it back, but at least you know.

“oh,” you say, voice just as timid as it was that first csgo game ages ago. “i like u too”

cue blushy sapnap

always talks about you on stream. you don’t join streams too much bc they make you nervous, but you’re always talked about lol

sapnap will bring you up literally every day on twitter or smth

when the two of you finally meet in person, you’re both so shy that dream has to start the convos for the first hour or so

but once you get comfortable it’s like two long lost souls

you guys just fit

sapnap speaks up when you’re quiet, and vice versa

you guys get ur own shared mc server and sapnap kills mods while you plant flowers

you use your twitter to show off your builds and sapnap always retweets and hypes you up

he suggests you stream your builds but it’s something you just like to do on your own, so you decline. sometimes you’ll appear on his streams and give his chat a lil tour tho :’)

sapnap is pretty protective over you. he will fight anyone for u <3 that’s just how he is lmao.

you get along with everyone pretty well though, and sapnap fits in with your friends as well

it’s still mostly a long distance relationship, but the two of you are used to it so you make it work

and sapnap will correct a waiter if they get your order wrong. so, character development.

thanks for requesting and for liking landslide !!

[kuronekonerochan]

Hi...how are you? If you don't mind me asking what are your top 5 favorite danmei novels (until now)? And why? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....

Hi, sorry for being slow at answering!

In no particular order:

Ok, so I liked the 3 from MXTX:

 - Grandmaster of Diabolic Cultivation/ Mo Dao Zu Shi 

This one I loved but it has a particular style that ppl might not like in that it feels jumpy, confusing and with information gaps while reading, even though eventually everything that matters does end up being explained...in other works this would probably be just lazy writing, but here it is clearly an intentional choice bc 1) she doesn’t do this in her other novels 2) this is in WWX’s pov and dude has heavy ptsd and adhd, plus he tends to pretend to take everything lightly as a coping mechanisms...all this put together and it’s easy to understand why the story has such an unreliable narrator that even the other characters constantly point it out. I ended up loving this extra layer of storytelling.

 - Heaven Official’s Blessings/ Tian Guan Ci Fu

If you’re in the mood for a saga type long ass novel with a ton of interesting side stories and side characters with a main character who is a true cinnamon bun in sweet romance with a side dish of sweet sweet aaaangst.

- Scum Villains Self Saving System

The most entertaining out of all of them. It manages to be a parody of two genres, both danmeis and wuia/jianghu harem het novels (fighter of destiny style) with OP leads, while also being its own cute and funny story with a heart to it.

From other authors:

 - Meatbun’s 2ha/ Dumb Husky and his White Cat Shizun 

What if someone took a look at the parody that is SVSSS and said...”no, you know what? This really deserves to be an epic, long ass, and I mean, topping old classics’ length novel packed with angst, filled with pain and topped with despair...and then we’re sprinkling some funfetti on top to fool y’all”...and you know what? that’s some good cake. (If you’re into cdramas SVSSS is to 2ha what The Romance of Tiger and Rose is to Goodbye My Princess).

- Priest’s Sha Po Lang:

Steampunk China plus creepy voodoo tribal ritual magic, involved in internal and external wars over petrol (with a different name) and with our leads in Iron Man suits, fighting, among other enemies hot young(er) hands on, on the field, western troop General, the Pope, that I can only visualize in my head as Jude Law. I tell you all of this nonsense just to say that instead of the ridiculous fun this should be, it ends up being a very compelling romance with lots of scheming and heavy plot and some heartbreaking scenes.

- The Golden Stage:

This is a court drama type novel with friends-to-rivals-to-lovers that is just the right length and compelling with not too many plot twists but two main characters who are really great both individually and together and this is the one out of all in the list I feel like re reading the most. It really is a solid read and I feel like I’m selling it short, bc it really is good. It is similar to Sha Po Lang and To Rule in a Turbulent World, a simpler version of those but not worse for it.

(Since you said top 5 and I’ve said 6, I regretfully cut down Heaven Official’s Blessing bc even though I love it, unlike MDZS or SVSSS, it didn’t feel like a standalone novel because some of the several storylines of the side characters that I loved were left open ended (although the main characters had a complete story arc), as if this book was supposed to be the first of a series and those characters would have their own spinoff books where I’d know where their story took them...except this really is a standalone, and so the lack of resolution bothers me).

>> Honorable Mentions:

- To Rule in a Turbulent World

This one doesn’t go in the top 5 list yet bc it’s not fully translated, last time I checked (tho it’s very near the end). As an ongoing novel, I adore it. If the ending isn’t terrible it might be in my top 3. It’s similar to the two above in plotlines but it has a quality to it that it takes care to make every character in it multidimensional. There are no good and bad characters, even the ones on the opposite side are given something that makes them relatable and human. Plus, the characters all change throughout the novel, most of all the protagonists and the novel gives itself breathing time between events where you just chill with the characters and learn about random things like agricultural practices. 

- The Wife Is First

This one is just that light fluff feel good one that is great to pick up from time to time since it’s on going. Dumb Jock husband did everything wrong in his first life, gets a re-do and from then on it’s adorable respect the spouse juice and awe of said spouse smarts. Cute. Also, there’s a baby pet tiger.

>> Others I did like, just not in the top 5:

 -Faraway Wanderers and Lord Seventh/Qi Ye by Priest:

Qi Ye is similar to To Rule in A Turbulent World/The Golden Stage/Sha Po Lang. I really liked it still, just a tiny bit less than these. Since it’s the same author as SPL and I think it was written earlier, I have to say, the writing only got better.

Faraway Wanderers is a short read, but you’re only gonna like it if you’re ok with amoral main characters (I guess that is true for many on this list but it’s more obvious in this one bc the novel and the characters are unapologetic about it).

- YuWu by Meatbun - Still reading it, but is isn’t grabbing me like 2ha did.

>> I assumed you only wanted danmeis as in period fantasy bl novels, but if we go modern, fantasy or not:

 - Silent Readings by Priest:

I love crime fiction novels (love Ding Mo’s novels) and this is that type of conspiracy, murder novel with smart criminals and smart investigators. Little romance, but still there.

 - Guardian by Priest: 

Priest is hilarious and except the last part that gets a bit heavy on the lore this is just a joy to read. Also pretty short.

- Advance Bravely:

I read it a long time ago and it’s okayish, with some cute and some weird, problematic characters. 

- Addicted/ Heroin:

Also read it (this is 2 books) ages ago...and this one is NOT cute. It starts out as a pretty normal, but kind of toxic very typical oldschool drama/manga romance right down to the step brothers’ trope....and then it keeps escalating to new levels of WTF am I reading?!! All I have to say for this one is, that while I cannot recommend it per se, nor say it’s good, the title really is fitting, bc it is addictive as f.

[ackermanshoe]

"Mikasa?!"

"get your shit together"

"we are the only ones who can stop Eren"

Well smart ppl, this is the first time in the entirety of attack on titan Levi "snapped" towards Mikasa. The look on his eyes it's so full concern, did he know what was happening to her? Did he realise it was her headache or did he think it was Eren doing something?

Maybe he snapped bc he was absolutely tired of Erens shit and mikasa's hesitation towards him. Maybe he was so worried that he couldn't get his words to come out? "Get your shit together" is such a Levi think to say if he said "are you okay?" It would be so out of character.

I know I don't need to explain this as we are all aware that Levi's way with Mikasa is like none other, right? Eg when he snapped at historia for not being able to give a straight answer to the biggest decision of her life - more: he often snaps at hanji despite them being friends for years etc.

It also makes me wonder how Levi is so in touch with reality, he's right next to her, could it be that his presence helped Mikasa come back to hers and finally decide to end Eren?

"a theory isn't a fantasy, it's a coherent set of ideas intend to explain something.." and this is me theorising so stay with me. The Ackerman's who had their inhumane power activated are Levi Mikasa and Kenny. Kenny met his tragic end with Yuri, Levi met his tragic end with Erwin and now it is clearly Mikasa's turn. Ik it wasn't obvious but when Kenny Ackerman lost his liege he was completely alone then eventually he had died off. Isn't it funny how the only two Ackerman's to have had years side by side were Mikasa and Levi? It's just my belief that Erwin's death would have caused more harm on Levi if he hadn't had Mikasa by his side and Mikasa would have been more lost in her delusion or dreams without Levi's consent attempt to bring her back to reality. Eg female titan arc.

Even after killing Zeke Levi never found true happiness, was it really the purpose of his life? Definitely not. It almost feels like there's a loose end to tie, possibly with another Ackerman. This is where my theory ( or more questions ) about the shine in his eyes comes in which I will explain later.

I have always seen Mikasa as a doer, who is not indecisive and always goes for the kill. Levi knows that too. This one moment where got her headache and she hesitated to move forward it was a conflict that clearly irretated Levi.

But man if it were anyone else with all their love and care for Mikasa they would have snapped at her ages ago. The patience this man has for Mikasa is unmatched.

Furthermore

"got it"

"Mikasa"

He said this to himself, TO HIMSELF I repeat not to Mikasa or anyone. What does this tell me? It tells me he trusts Mikasa to make the right decision. He knows it's time and he knows that she won't hesitate this time. Remember the gleam in his eyes when Mikasa asked him to help her kill Eren?

It's a gleam of trust and recognition.

To me this is the purest form of support Levi has given not only to Mikasa but anyone at all. It kinda makes me feel soft if I'm being honest but I can't explain that with facts.

Might I mention how how Levi said mikasa's name more in this one chapter than he has said in the entire manga?

( if someone know why he never calls Mikasa by her name please let me know I'm so hung up on that and still wondering what could be the meaning behind it )

It can be said the same with Mikasa calling Levi "captain" several times in the last chapter and possibly this one.

It may be a personal view of mine but the I think there's a lot of significance in calling ones name. But in rivamika's relationship the lack there of name calling makes it much more interesting to theorise. I have always been someone who would hesitate to say my crush's name because I feel like it would be awkward and make the conversation much more intimate. Yeah it's just a theory but most people would avoid using their crushes name because it makes them nervous and the fact their crush exist near them much more realistic. ( Input scene from there first caridge scene where Levi called Mikasa by her name to tell her to protect Eren with all her skills and Mikasa had a drop sweat on her, she was caught off guard by his voice calling her name )

If I was to assume this is what happened with Levi not mentioning mikasa's name ( all that often ) then it kinda makes sense. And now that we have Levi finally calling out her name in the middle of a life or death battle it makes me wonder if he is finally breaking out of a invisible shell and confronting his feelings (?)

Note: "feelings" can be interpreted as romantic AND non romantic. I don't mean to say that I think he is in love with her that's realistically thinking.

Idk how to word this properly but it's like he is becoming more aware of mikasa's importance in his life and vice versa (?)

Ones name is the biggest connection they have with their individuality and the fact that Levi calls her name several times in this particular chapter makes me think it's somehow connected to Mikasa letting go off Eren and choosing herself + Levi and whoever is left to save. I believe Levi already knew this since the moment the gleam came into his eyes, like I mentioned many many many times Levi knows things about Mikasa before she does. For Levi it's like looking into a mirror that goes backwards in time.

If I'm going to talk more about the gleam in Levi's eyes I might as well put it all down on the table and you can view it however you want.

Remember this

"is it from hope or despair that this strength comes from?"

Well the gleam to me represents hope, not only for the survival of them two by killing Eren, but for Mikasa herself, finding herself MIGHT just be the gleam of hope Levi's strength came from. Individuality. This is more like forshadowing the future than the present.

It also reminds me of S1 when Levi's eyes gleamed when Eren expressed his hatred towards the titans. The look of obsession, to kill the titans and now mikasa's determination to kill Eren ( her obsession).

If I'm being a delulu then yes I do think he is in love with her and nothing less 🤩 and this look^^ above is so sexy can they just idk send me the wedding invitation already I'm 🕯️😔🕯️ tired of waiting.

Anyways I'm going to end this here I feel like I write so much and if anyone asked me what this was all about in real life I would prolly run away rather than speaking. Thank you guys for being here and supporting me and everyone else! I hope the last chapter is at least 100 pages long because we need it 😭🕯️😭.

Edit: I apologize for making this so long I was going to post it like tomorrow but I think it will makes sense if I do it now rather than later.

Also regarding the snapping bit I honestly think it's just because the way he speaks it comes out as harsh which is natural for his character we already know he cares so much about her, he was panicking guys.

[stillgirlfrommars]

you’ve got news

So, I already talked about this with @missmorwen​ and I know I don’t have the time to draw and make an actual comic out of it, BUT I cannot stop thinking about this SamSteve-post-engdame-fix-it story (with a dash of BuckyNat, ‘cause that’s just who I am) which is kinda crack and very rom-com (a bit you’ve got mail) inspired and doesn't make much sense, because... PLOT HOLES but * sigh * I kinda wanna share at least the idea so - bear with me:

So, instead of Nat dying, Steve sacrifices his Captain America powers on Vormir and comes back as Skinny!Steve and starts running a political blog called you’ve-got-news in secret, uncovering all kinds of shady business/corruption and becoming the bane of existence of every politician and greedy CEO - but it takes a while for his friends to figure out it's him who’s running that increasingly popular blog (which the new Captain America is actually a big fan of ;)). And the way that happens is as follows:

So, Steve almost died at the end of Endgame. The idiot (affectionate) of course still wanted to fight Thanos, but even with Thor’s Hammer, he took some serious, serious injuries which led to a tough talk with Sam, Nat and Bucky

Like I imagine, that while Steve would not have any regrets whatsoever about giving up his powers, he would still need some time to come to terms with the fact that he won’t be able to participate in the action like he used to. Even though, he actually wants and knows... it’s time to ... start something new, it’s still a process. So, there he is, trying to figure out who he is without the mantle of Captain America, re-defining the way he can and will fight against bullies in the future (cause there is no way he’s gonna stop that).

And to the surprise of everyone, Steve actually doesn’t press for participating in Avenger-style-fights anymore (he still does some of the practical mission planning and shit like that) but most importantly, he starts taking up new hobbies, like cooking or old hobbies like drawing - and he seems happier than he has in a long time, and yeah maybe it’s a bit too good to be true, if Sam starts thinking about it. But, hey, Steve finally seems to be happy so -

Meanwhile, Sam still becomes the new Captain America, and Steve is there while he is adjusting, finding himself in that role. He is there when Sam needs to talk things through, and yeah, it would still be a process like in tfatws series, but ... a little bit less alone, I guess. 

So, the new Captain America fights alongside Nat and Bucky - and it’s good, they work surprisingly well together, but also: those two are stuck right in the middle of a weird assassin!flirting situation (I’m imagening a lot of veeery intense staring at the other while cleaning their weapons or beating someone up, innuendos en masse, dark humour etc.). And frankly, it’s getting on Sam's nerves because they seem to be so oblivious about the whole damn thing. Neither of them is actually admitting to anything, no, they are too busy teasing him about the ‘crush’ he has developed on that mysterious dude who is running the famous political-youve-got-news-blog that gained momentum a while ago and is currently keeping all the corrupt politicians and CEOs on their toes.

So, yeah, Sam might have been caught a couple of times reading or reciting from that blog because - it has actually turned into a pretty efficient way of mobilising people to demonstrate for change and it did give him some tip-offs in regards to who the bad guy really was and yeah. But it’s not a crush... Sam just really likes reading the blog posts, okay. That dude seems pretty cool and they share the same moral code, so... whatever.

What Nat and Bucky and Steve don't know (and he’ll never tell them), is that Sam is actually kiiiiinda already frequently talking with the guy who runs the blog. Anonymously on both ends, of course (because for good reasons both of them are pretty careful about giving away information concerning their identities). And in a way that whole anonymity-thing makes it a lot easier to talk about stuff he finds harder to admit to the people who he knows directly. So, you could say, blog-guy has kinda become Sam's internet friend, but not his crush, no.

Honestly, the crush he is more concerned about (that he also isn't planning on telling anyone about any time soon, cause Bucky would just tease him and Nat would start scheming) is, well, it’s Steve. Because, damn, he likes their get-togethers a lot, the meals Steve's cooking are honestly to die for. They watch baseball together, they do museum-trips... And the way they can talk about (almost) everything... He just feels understood and... yeah, loved (maybe not in the way that he wishes for, but still) and it’s nice to see Steve so happy and okay, maybe it’s getting a bit out of control because Sam took Steve with him to visit Sarah and his nephews and Sarah kinda saw right through his act of ‘hey, this is my best friend’ and ‘what do you mean, I don’t have feelings- okay. Yeah maybe I do’ and told him in no uncertain terms to fucking do something about it and get his shit together.

The thing is, he’s got it bad. But Sam is also torn, because this is the best fucking friendship he's ever had and he does not want to jeopardise that. So, in the end he ends up talking about this with his Internet friend... about how he kinda has this huge crush on his best friend, and his Internet friend is like, ‘TELL ME ABOUT IT, big fucking same here UGH. And I feel like I’m being SO obvious about it all. It’s honestly embarrassing. My other best friend keeps teasing me ‘bout it and tells me to just go for it, but that guy still hasn’t managed to ask out the girl he’s interested in, so, what does he know, right?’. And Sam laughs - at least he’s not alone.

So the days go by (Sam’s pining only increases, Steve took him to a wine tasting the other night and he almost... in his drunk state... almost... but he didn’t) until one day, while blog-guy and Sam are chatting, all of the sudden the blog-guy is like, ‘Shit, I think someone's breaking into my apartment’ and then like, ‘Okay, yes they are’ - and Sam's like, ‘call 911′, and blog-guy writes back ‘mmh think I can handle them’ (and Sam’s like ‘WTF... I know way too many people with zero regards for their own well-being, myself included’)

But then blog-guy is not answering anymore, so Sam frantically calls up Nat who rushes to his flat and Sam says: ‘You need to find out where that IP adress is located ASAP - the dude with that famous blog is in danger.’

And Nat does that multitasking thing where she’s working on the problem while ribbing Sam about the fact that, apparently, Captain America's Internet bestie is that famous blog dude, and- 'Are you sure it’s not a crush?'

But after another minute, Nat sighs and is like, ‘I can't find the location, this thing is encrypted af, it’s impossible.’ Suddenly, she notices something about the setup of the encryption and-, ‘Hang on a second, it was me who set this up for someone back in 2011.′ And as she slips on her jacket, she says to Sam, ‘Come on. I know where we have to go!’

So they make their way to what turns out is Steve's (!!!!) apartment and find him in the middle of a fight against over half a dozen heavily armed people, and yeah - he’s actually doing pretty okay for himself ‘cause he outsmarted a couple of them, but also- they kind of outnumber him, so Nat and Sam get to work.

And Sam doesn't even have time to fully register what that means re:blog-guy until they have successfully defeated the bad guys. After that's done, Steve is like, ‘Thanks guys, but how the hell did you know I was in trouble? Nat... you didn’t bug my apartment, did you??’

And Nat tstsk and then she just laughs because this is priceless and OF CoURSE it is Steve who is behind that blog... (she's a bit mad at herself for not figuring it out sooner, and a bit sad that Steve didn't feel like he could tell her, and that he assumes she has is flat bugged but, also,... kinda impressed.) But then she looks at him with a warm smile on her face, shaking her head, saying, ‘No, I didn’t, Steve.’ Her gaze wanders back and forth between Steve and Sam and she humms- 'That actually makes so much sense oh my god.' So, she leaves them ‘to talk’ ;) and for Sam to explain everything’ - and then it’s just the two of them.

And Sam does explain everything and is like, 'So you're that Blog dude, erm...' He's scratching the back of his neck, cheeks flushed, 'Turns out, we've been talking for months over that blog of yours. I'm (insert-Sam’s-username-here).'- and Steve's eyes go wide and you can literally see him processing that information right then and there and he's sputtering out a light laugh, and he's like 'Hang on a second... I... umm, okay, I gotta ask. So, that best friend you've got a crush on...' Well, it’s now or never -'Is you, yeah..', Sam admits and starts, 'and....' They both laugh again and Steve nods and just says- 'yeah, it’s you, too.'

And then they kiss and yaaay, happy ending!!!

And then the epilogue would be about them having a nice dinner with Bucky and Nat a couple of months later, and the whole time, Sam and Steve are being very much in loveTM. The three guys are standing in the kitchen, while Natasha is in the bathroom and Bucky's making a funny quib about how sickeningly cute Sam and Steve are together - and Sam, well, Sam just raises his eyebrows and is like, 'You know what, you're not allowed to say anything bout that, you and Romanoff have been acting waaaaay worse over the last year. At least we got our shit together in the end, what's your excuse, you are obviously absolutely in love with her!', and of course Nat chooses that exact moment to enter the room, hand on Bucky's waist, dropping a kiss on his cheek and is like, 'What do you mean, we've been dating for 6 months?' And Steve laughs and Sam groans bc .... he loves his friends, he does, but clearly, CLEARLY they ALL have to work on their communication skills!

The End.

[asexualzoro]

list of reasons i find Brook ridiculous

for brook’s birthday, ive decided to follow up my other two posts of this genre by dragging yet another idiot swordsman. i have everybrook open on my phone next to me. here we go

- first and foremost his most ridiculous crime is existing. as he’s already so ridiculous as a character, im going to talk only about things hes done

- i want to know, did Brook make a conscious effort to change his laugh to sound like his favorite song? how long did it take? what was the in between period like? what did his crew have to say about this? the rumbar pirates were big on playful teasing, did they let Brook live this down? 

- ALTERNATIVELY: was brook’s laugh already like that? is that why bink’s sake is his favorite song? is that why it was York’s favorite-- oh we only made it two bullet points before i made myself sad

- relatedly i cannot make fun of anything Brook did in his backstory it will make me too sad. hes spared for now

- i DO want to say from a writing standpoint its so fucking ridiculous to me that he mentions twice being a convoy captain in the past and it never comes up again. oda?? why even bother to include something that cool if you weren't even going to do anything with it?? you could have said hes just always been a pirate but no. oda?? oda

- there was that bit where a bunch of people thought Brook was satan and addressed him as such (i think Satan-sama in the original, and the translation i read was like... Lord Satan or Lord Demon or something). not only did Brook never correct them, but he also ran with it and later used this case of mistaken identity as a reason to threaten to eat a man’s heart 

- also both men and women were showing him their underwear in that bit. bi rights

- those satanists let Brook get kidnapped while saying they would try to summon him back. do you think they're still at it

- Brook is older than... basically every old man in the series. Garp, Whitebeard, Rayleigh... all of them. something about that is so weird to me and i cannot place why

- Brook has seen and can prove the existence of an afterlife in One Piece canon and its then never addressed again

- Brook missed so many huge events while being dead. im looking at a timeline rn and these include the obvious, like, roger’s execution and subsequent effect on in-world culture and society and whatever. but also things like the destruction of ohara (which was in his home sea), the founding of the world power known as the revolutionary army (which was about 20yrs ago), and the births of every other member of his crew. wack

- he seems to know about stuff related to the pirate king post time skip, and i wonder if thats because someone told him or he’s just playing along now. maybe he just thinks Luffy made up the term pirate king cuz it sounds cool and he wants to support his captain’s interests

- if he DID ask though, like, who did he ask? his managers? did he pull aside some fan asking for an autograph at a concert like “hey, you look like a knowledgable young lad, mind helping me out?”

- i would love to be there when someone takes the time to explain roger, the pirate king, raffle, the One Piece.... and Brook asks them “what is the One Piece?”.... and someone has to look him in the eye (...or not) and tell him “i don't know” 

- Brook has technically died of fright (his soul left his body), like... at least once? it was luffy’s fault

- Brook was an urban legend on the florian triangle and i doubt he even knows that about himself

- when they're heading to fishmen island Brook gets all scared when they encounter a possible ghost ship and Usopp slaps him

- when captured by big mom he sleeps so godamn soundly and securely that he is harder to wake up than she is and this fact nearly gets a bunch of his crew killed

- Brook is the only character i can think of who has ever broken the fourth wall. he only did it once. maybe seeing the afterlife means he now knows hes in a manga. or maybe being isolated for 50 years just made his head be not screwed on right

- speaking of, there’s a bit in WCI at the wedding where Brook is decapitated. i don't know how it goes in the anime, but in the manga like... no one is shown to have decapitated him. his head just pops off. maybe he was just having fun

- also the bit where he rips the fake face off in wci. when someone calls him gross he cries

- there’s a bit in fishmen island where Brook is trying to ask Nami if he can see her panties (disgusting bastard) and he inadvertently protects her from being dehydrated by some guy they were fighting. except the panel setup reminds me a lot of / mimics ace protecting Luffy from Akainu, and it haunts me

- speaking of bits from fishmen island that haunt me, there's a page where it’s strongly implied Brook fucked a mermaid (maybe two). i will of course include the page here

- yeah. sorry. 

- when Brook first meets the strawhats he invites himself inside because “it’s cold out!” but he later admits in punk hazard that he cant feel cold. he was just lying

- no one introduces himself to Brook except Luffy for the entirety of thriller bark

- half related, Franky cradles Brook in his arms / carries Brook around for like a full scene in thriller bark 

- there's a link two second bit in film gold where the crew is just relaxing while they're planning for how they're going to get Zoro back and they're all shown eating burgers from pirate mcdonalds or whatever. and Brook is eating a burger and hes so messy that hes got burger on his forehead, and Franky is next to him just looking at him

- Brook also wears fake skin in that movie

- Brook has a running gag where he gets upset when things refuse to eat him and i was going to make a joke about it but im wondering if maybe hes just afraid of being left behind........ made myself sad again

- he cries when a dragon won't eat him tho

- Brook admits to reading monster hentai when talking to Sanji and Kin’emon and if i have to be burdened with knowing that so do you

- when hes trying to figure out the weakness of the zombies on thriller bark he overhears one ate a salted fish and lost its shadow and immediately assumes “oh, must have been the fish!” idiot man

- where does his sword cane go when hes not using it. it just appears. where does he store it

- there's a bit where the strawhats all use a combo attack at thriller bark and the first step is firing an electrically charged Brook in a slingshot through oars/oz. he ends up in a wall and no one ever pulls him out. i don't even think the manga shows how he got down

- enemies post time skip regularly assume Brook is dead when they manage to knock the crew out and it makes me wonder how popular of a rock star Brook actually was

- Brook goes on a mini rant to no one while they're descending to fisherman island where he wonders aloud how he sees without eyes and it makes me lose it

- this isn't Brook technically but Nekomamushi is based on a song Brook’s voice actor wrote about his cat.

- Brook literally doesn't have a brain. like i know we all know that but its so fucking funny. we make jokes about other strawhats only having one braincell or whatever but Brook straight up 100% just has a seashell where his brain is supposed to be 

-  why does he have rubber glove looking hands when hes haunting the castle at wano i fucking hate them

- relatedly, there’s a bit where Brook mentions he’s been, at kinemon’s interaction, sitting in a well for like... possibly days? is he okay

- honestly i love everything about Brook’s actions as a ghost in wano bc its so fucking funny but my FAVORITE fact is that Brook is in the wikipedia article about starving skeletons

im leaving you with that. appreciate ur local skeleton today

[welcome-to-gaytown]

answer all of the asks in your most recent ask game

Do you have freckles?

nope

Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?

i drink both :p

tea: always has a lot of sugar, sometimes black sometimes plain

coffee: same as my tea, a shit ton of sugar, sometimes black sometimes plain

What was the last song you listened to?

happy life, roland faunte

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side?

i sleep like how a dead person would be positioned in a coffin dhfskdhjk

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

nope, they make me claustrophobic when i get nightmares

Do you prefer drawing or writing?

i like both equally

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?

2

What’s your favorite band/artist?

dont have one

When is your birthday?

april 6

How tall are you?

5'3

What color are your eyes?

brown but really really dark

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?

i already did this one skfndjkd @/ddepressedbookworm @/lunaleonarah @/strawberry-cupcake @/im-fucking-bored-rn my dogs (they are people shut up)

Fears? being left behind, being abandoned (read: everyone i love leaving me)

What’s your favorite color?

dont have one

What’s your favorite season?

winter my beloved

Want any tattoos? What of?

i want a forearm sleeve on my right arm and on my left shoulder i was a daisy and lavender sprig tattooed together (something small and simple)

i want a bunch of flowers (roses, sunflowers, daisies, etc.) tattooed from my mid calf to my mid thigh

something small on my ankle too idk what yet

Want any piercings? Where?

er just a regular nostril piercing hdsjkfd also want a lip ring

Who is the last person you texted?

do dms count? bc in that case @strawberry-cupcake

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends?

i have two (i think??) and ive been friends with one of them for 4 years while the other one ive been talking to for a month or so? djskdjfld

What/who do you miss?

my mom from two years ago

How was your day today?

terrible

How much sleep did you get last night?

3 hours

Do you believe in aliens?

yep, the earth is small, the universe is ever expanding, bold of us to assume we are the only beings to exist

When was the last time you cried? Why?

around thirty minutes ago because of my mother

What’s your favorite decade?

idk

What are some seemingly childish things you like?

idk?

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times?

the extraordinary adventures of alfred kropp by rick yancey

How are you, really?

not too well, mentally strained at the moment

Does it take you a long time to make decisions?

sometimes

What are you looking forward to in the near future?

school, getting out of my house

What are you looking forward to in the distant future?

moving out

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?

idk somewhere far away

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

preferably closed but my mom thinks im going to kms at night so she makes me keep it open

What’s your favorite flower?

daisies

Do you currently have a squish?

a what now

Do you like your middle name?

my middle name is the name people call me and i dont really like it but it fits me

Do you prefer dogs or cats?

dont have a preference

Do you have any phobias?

no?

Do you stay up late?

its not me staying up late, its me not being able to sleep

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?

i guess i do, and i dont have a preference with this either

What’s your favorite cartoon?

dont watch those

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

@ddepressedbookworm @im-fucking-bored-rn @cinnamonstickrayofsunlight @alfredo-king07 (even tho i hate him, he posts funny shit) @strawberry-cupcake

Do you have siblings? How many?

three other siblings

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?

my sister

Is there anyone you would die for?

many

What do you need when you’re sad?

someone to hold me

Have you memorized your phone number?

dont have a phone

Who’s someone you can trust with your life?

mostly people on here, but also my siblings

What does your last text say?

<3

Wild Card. Any question, ask away.

got any questions?

[amethystpath-writes]

If you have the time and motivation for this, would you mind writing about the hero finding out the villain has been dating his sister? And the sister has no idea but the villain is like taunting the hero with public displays of attention and gushy romance things. The hero can’t do anything bc he thinks the villain will hurt the sister if he says anything about it. You can decide whether the villain actually loves the sister or not :)

I have been excited about this idea since I read it. Thank you, nonny!

******

Pulling up to the curb, Sister pushed the door open. How long ago did she unbuckle? Hero wondered. He hated how- how…uncaring she was. It wasn’t so much about her hurting other people with her carelessness as it was about her hurting herself. Hero loved Sister, which meant he hated to see the path she was taking. She was going to get herself killed, maybe not by going on dates, but with all her other tendencies; things like getting into car crashes at sixteen, going to skateparks in the middle of the night, and the general rebellious thing she had going on. Hero wish she could understand that the reason he was so overbearing was because their parents weren’t at all. And he wasn’t a helicopter brother; he just wanted her to be safe.

Hero turned the key counter clockwise and pulled it out, before getting out of the car himself. Now was the moment he’d evaluate Sister’s boyfriend. Yes, evaluate. If the guy Sister was dating was some jerk or something right off the bat, Hero would make him leave. He’d- uh- puff his chest and…and do the intimidating stuff.

Truth be told, Hero didn’t know how to come off as intimidating without using his abilities, but no one knew about those, and no on could know. He had watched too many movies of people with weird powers being taken and experimented on or tortured or other terrible things. It’s why he and Villain took things to rooftops, or otherwise amidst destruction where they couldn’t be seen. But that wasn’t the point! The point was that Hero was about to meet the person his sister was spending so much time with.

Sister was running up to one of the tables of the small ice cream bar, and when she got there- or to the person there- she wrapped their arms around a man, and as he looked up, Hero felt his whole body freeze. He felt his hands shake as the man- Villain- dragged a hand up and down Sister’s back, taunting Hero because he knew the shock it would cause.

It was Villain. Villain was coddling Hero’s sister right in front of him, and he even made eye contact while doing it.

After a few more frozen moments, Hero took one- two- steps forward. Villain watched, not ceasing his teases. At one point he even full on glared at Hero, stopping him in his tracks. Hero didn’t know what to do but to remain where he was and watch. He nearly spoke, opening his mouth to break it up, to get Sister away, but one flick of Villain’s hand on her neck stopped him.

The two kissed, not too awfully long- certainly not a make out session, but it was too long to be considered a peck.

“Oh.” Villain’s gaze caught Hero’s again, and he smiled. “This must be the brother you have mentioned a time or twice.”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah.” She gave a small laugh, adjusting her shirt, as it’d become somewhat crooked, and turning to face her brother while still standing beside her boyfriend- who now slid a hand behind her before settling it on her waist opposite of his own side.

Hero swallowed. Should he talk? Initiate the conversation? But with that hand on his sister’s hip…it was a threat. Villain could take off with her any second.

Or maybe he just loved Sister.

No. No, of course he doesn’t love Sister. That was a ridiculous idea and Hero couldn’t believe he even thought of it for a second.

“You never said he was mute.”

Still not knowing whether to speak or not, Hero only took very slow and deliberate steps forward toward the- the couple, if you could even call them that. “When do I need to pick you up?”

Sister’s face scrunched up. “What? You suddenly don’t want the cone and taco you made me promise to buy you before you left?” She laughed and crossed her left arm over her chest so that she could place her hand on Villain’s shoulder. “You don’t approve.”

She thought it was because Villain was wearing raggy clothing, a shirt with purposefully torn holes and bleached pants. No. That wasn’t the problem at all. Someone who looked as Villain did now was exactly Sister’s type, and they weren’t all shitty people. It just so happened to be that this one was. And this wasn’t the clothing Villain typically wore either. It was a lie, a façade, to lure Sister in. It worked.

Villain’s hand began to draw circles on Sister’s side. Hero had to take a deep breath. Another warning, or threat, or whatever you wanted to call it, to Hero to say the right thing, to play a role in the act. “I didn’t say that,” he settled for. Easy, simple, neutral.

“Your face is saying that,” Villain said. Hero could have sworn Villain held up a one with his fingers for a moment. He felt his heart thundering in his chest.

“Why don’t we all order our food and sit down, hm? Clear the air up a bit.”

It wasn’t a request or a suggestion. It was a demand.

Hero didn’t realize his jaw was clenched until he opened it to speak as he walked toward them at a proper talking distance. He kept his hands in his pockets to hide the fact they were fisted. “Right. Not a problem at all. Sister, I’ll order for you. What do you want?”

She looked up at him, then Villain.

“I told her I’d pay, but if you’d like to go order for yourself with me, then that’s fine. Maybe we can get to know one another a little more. Do you want to pick a table for us, mi amore?”

Wordless, Sister left to do as Villain suggested. Now it was just Hero and Villain standing out in the wide open.

Villain was the first to begin walking to the order line. Hero followed two steps behind, too nervous to be any closer. He didn’t think Villain was stupid enough to act out here, but it was hard telling- especially if he was apparently willing to date Sister. Hero still couldn’t believe it. The denial would have been stronger if Villain hadn’t been actively cluing threats.

“I have really rendered you speechless, haven’t I?”

Hero said nothing.

“Go on, say something. Do you think I plan to rip out your tongue?”

No. I think you might snap my sister’s neck. “What are you doing?”

Villain gave a small chuckle. “Did you ever consider that maybe I just like your sister and that’s why I asked her on a date today?”

“I considered it, then found it unlikely.”

He hummed. “Well, you’re right. I don’t despise her, but I would have no interest in her if it didn’t dig under your skin. It’s funny, the way you find me to be so threatening. A touch on her wrist makes you think I’ll break it. A touch on her neck, and you think I’ll dig my teeth into her throat as if I were a vampire and she my prey. What else, hero?”

“You would do all of those things.” Straight to the point.

“Is that what you think?” Villain smiled, stepping forward in the line now that some kid finally decided to order three scoops of various ice creams with sprinkles and syrup on top- no cherry though. “Perhaps. That only means you should continue to tread carefully. I’d hate for you to twist an ankle.”

Hero was becoming more frustrated than worried now. What was the point in all of this? The only thing Hero could come up with was that this was Villain’s form of a punishment…for looking for him, Hero assumed. But why was that such a big deal? Maybe Villain was up to something and needed Hero off his back; dating his sister and threatening her nearly every moment was the solution, and it was somewhat effective.

Silence followed through the rest of the line until they made it to ordering. “You used to buy her the toppings options,” Villain said to Hero before looking back to the person taking his order. “Add some rainbow sprinkles on top.” Having finished the order, Villain handed over a twenty- Did he just hold up a two with his other hand? - and told the worker to keep the change- all five dollars and thirty-six cents. Turning back to Hero, he began again. “She misses those times- when you actually tried to spend time with her.”

Gritting his teeth, Hero said nothing. Villain knew the reason he didn’t talk to his sister- or any of his family. Hero was busy looking for wherever Villain was hiding out when he wasn’t going into cities and attacking people from above.

They waited for their orders after Hero paid for his, and as they did this, Villain spoke up again, “You’re thinking about what to do in this scenario.”

“I’m not thinking about much of anything actually.”

Villain hummed. “I would be head over my heels in thought. I must have really boggled you up there.”

Hero said nothing. There was nothing to do.

**

Bringing the food and ice cream back, the date went as any would- with the exception that Hero was now a part of the date. It was originally meant to only be Sister and whoever her boyfriend was- which as Hero knew now, was Villain.

They all chatted like good friends, and Hero was warned subtly a few times to watch his displeased facial expressions. The unhappy expression usually only happened when Villain would hold Sister’s hand and all Hero could think was, He’s going to crush her bones. He’s capable of it. One squeeze is all it’d take. They also frequented when Villain put an arm around his sister’s shoulders, draping a hand almost carelessly. Again, Hero’s thoughts would get the best of him. Fingernails in her arm, river of blood. What did he think Villain was exactly, Hero wasn’t even sure, but evil was an easy way to define him.

Sure, they both had abilities, but only Villain was sadistic enough to ever use them against people powerless and defenseless against it. He never did it where he could be seen, but- well, Villain was unpredictable, wasn’t he? Hero certainly never expected the guy to start dating his sister. It was possible he really would hurt Sister in public.

“Hero, what did you say you do for work again?”

He swallowed. Hero could out Villain right now, just say it in the next moment and no one would expect it. And it was outlandish enough that it would be surprisingly unquestionable. Some things you just couldn’t lie about. It wouldn’t even need thought, though, because Villain would deliberately prove it…by concussing Sister with a tiny flick.

“I work with the Containment Justice Department in town.” This was what Hero told everyone, mostly his family. It wasn’t so difficult to lie about anymore, except that now Villain was smiling with the brightest beam of amusement.

Containment Justice Department, Hero could hear Villain mocking him.

“Interesting. I thought you had to graduate from some police academy or something to do that.”

“I excelled.”

“Right. Sister said you dropped out of high school. Suppose that’s why I never saw you in the halls.”

Villain tucked a piece of hair behind Sister’s ears then brought his lips to her cheek. She smiled and pushed him away playfully. Hero held his breath.

What could Villain possibly do with a kiss? What deadly thing could come out of that? His creativity was shrunken at this point, exhausted. This had been such a long day, and the sun was setting. Hero was stressed beyond relief, he felt.

“How long have you two been together?”

Sister opened her mouth to answer, but Villain beat her to the punch, his lips still on her skin. “Next week will be a year.” He put a hand on her chin after drawing his own head back just barely to make room for movement, then dragged her head to him until their lips were almost touching. “Isn’t that right, mi amore?”

A blush rose in her cheeks before he kissed her, and this time it was longer than when she and Hero first arrived.

“Right, well it was nice to meet you. Sister, we should go before it gets dark.”

“Um, I was actually…” Sister began, but trailed off.

“I’ll bring her home later tomorrow.”

“We should go home now. It’s dangerous out at night.” Hero added, “Not just for her sake, but yours.” Hero only included this for two reasons: (1) Villain would have silently scolded Hero, threatened him- or his sister, he supposed- for not wishing good will for Villain, and (2) because Hero needed his sister to agree with him, to want Villain to go home so that he was safe since they were a couple and couples cared for one another.

“My house is well lit. I think we’ll be okay. But I do hate to drive at night. Astigmatisms,” Villain said, “nasty things. Are you ready to go, mi amore?”

She nodded, and Hero didn’t know what to do as she began to stand. Sister couldn’t go to Villain’s home; she might never come back. What if he killed her? Hero didn’t know where he lived, and that meant there would be no rescue. He had to stop this now. But he couldn’t. Because if he tried to, Villain would act out now, and he’d probably find a way to make it Hero’s fault.

“You win, okay?” Hero rushed out as the distance between he and Sister and Villain grew. “You’ve- uh- been there for my sister when I couldn’t be. You are a…” Hero grimaced. “You’re a good guy.”

Villain licked his lip before dragging it in with his teeth, then looking at Sister with only his eyes- no tilting of the head, no action Sister could see.

“Thank you for taking care of her. Drive safely.”

And that was all Hero could do to ensure any amount of safety; admit defeat. Admit the Villain one, and maybe he would ease up, maybe he would break the tie he made with Sister, let her be free, even though she didn’t know she was caught to begin with.

“Will do.” Villain tossed a hand in the air- a careless goodbye.

Hero felt his heart drop. What did the carelessness mean- if anything at all? There was nothing he could do about it anyways. Villain won. Hero could only hope- maybe even pray- that Villain would show mercy. Until then, Hero hopped in his car, and before he took off, he turned the ringer on on his phone. It was the least he could do. If Sister was in trouble, maybe she would text or call him, and he would be there in a heartbeat after she told Hero Villain’s add- That’s it!

Hero opened the messaging on his phone and clicked on Sister’s name. ‘What’s his address? Just in case something happens.’ he typed and hit send.

Not a moment later, Hero received a text back from Sister, reading, ‘Seriously? How dunce are you?’

Another message as Hero began typing. ‘That’s three.’ it read. Hero squinted his eyes, looking up at the brake lights in front of him. A hand was stuck out of the driver side window. Three fingers were held out. And then? The car in front of Hero surged forward, wheels squealing with the highest screech he ever heard.

“No!” Hero fumbled with his keys, trying hard- maybe too hard- to put in it the ignition slot. “No, no, no.” He glanced up and down, watching as Villain’s car sped off until it turned out of sight. “Dammit!” Finally, the key slid in, and Hero started the car, speeding off just the same as Villain did just two minutes ago, but by the time he turned on the street Villain had, the car was gone, his sister with it.

******

Requested Part 2 here