#it's sooooooo funny that she gets on my case for having stuff... but will not examine her own hoarder tendencies

[blunderpuff]

my mom: get rid of stuff so it's easier to pack up and move

me: okay, i'm gonna recycle all these old textbooks

my mom: no not like that

[luvrgirl555]

now i know there’s no cm christmas episode but i’ve just thought of what one might be.

we open on a man standing near a christmas tree, putting down presents, but as the camera nears, we realize that this man isn’t the santa we think it is.

the team comes into work on christmas day, jj grumbling about how will got mad at her for leaving on christmas, emily upset she didn’t get to on her christmas vacation to cancun and spencer makes a remark about how we was going to be alone anyway. it’s supposed to be funny but it just comes off as sad.

penelope, clad in jingle bells and a santa hat presents the case, every year on the night of christmas eve in some random city in the midwest, a family annihilator kills the family, but here’s the kicker, he enters through the chimney, covers the bodies in coal and takes the eyeballs of the mother. rossi makes a comment about them getting coal in their stockings, clearly on the naughty list. reid perks up at the word naughty and then immediately looks down at the file again. derek makes a remark about how the people in the town are calling the unsub ‘the santa slayer’ and says he can’t believe kids ever even believed in that stuff. emily rolls her eyes. wheels up in 20.

on the plane reid gives the facts about coal, coals chemical makeup, what it’s used for and how the coal in your stockings idea even came from. he also gives a detailed history of santa before jj inevitably cuts him off just before it actually starts getting interesting and i want to keep listening. hotch points out that the anger to the mother is indicative of the unsub hating women (who knew?) and that maybe he hates his own mother (wow. that would DEFINITELY be a first hotch. good eye) he hands out assignments. reid is doing a geographical profile and since all of the victims went to the same church he sends emily and derek there for storyline reasons. jj is talking to the families and rossi and hotch are going to argue with the local police department for 4 approximately minutes.

they get to the local pd and they make a comment about all the snow they’re getting. reid is wearing that purple scarf. jj sits in a room with the victims families and the people cry, just like always. emily and derek argue about going into the church. and eventually both do but neither are happy about. penelope calls derek to tell him all of the families were having financial trouble. thanks babygirl.

back at the police station, spencer drew some triangles on a map and he is absolutely certain that the unsub lives in this ten block radius. penelope calls. and somehow knows that all the husbands were cheating on their wives. hotch tells her to keep digging. emily and derek tell the team that each of the families participated in the secret santa program at the church. so it isn’t random! this must be what connects the victims!

penelope calls again, she tells derek that all the wives spent more money than their bank accounts could handle. her and derek bant. you’re my god given solace woman. call you later handsome.

it’s time to deliver the profile.

he’s white. in his late 30s and hates christmas, his mom and is a coal miner. he takes eyes because he hates his mom. he hates his mom sooooooo much.

penelope has a hit, they rush to the coordinates but it’s an empty lot with a present in the center. spencer picks it up, it’s actually bomb and there’s very sexually charged tension between spencer and derek as derek disarms it before spencer almost, yet again, dies horribly. emily and jj kiss.

the next time penelope calls she has a name for them. christian panalplanap. his mom was a hooker after his dad left him as a young boy. he hates women and has assault charges on his record. he used to kill cats. the local pd know him. ‘he couldn’t have done this.’ the team races to the svus

hotch and derek apprhend the unsub. he’s covered in coal and holding the jars of eyeballs close to his chest. derek has to tackle him and the jar breaks, eyeballs are everywhere.

the team goes home and rossi invites everyone over christmas dinner. it’s italian of course! and there’s a montage of everyone dancing and drinking and smiling. merry christmas!

[mattieswheelers]

wait wAIT WAIT WAIT

you know how people call s!kit skittles because that’s what it looks like

to be honest i saw it as s factorial(kit) because ! is a factorial sign

but letters can’t be factorials, right

.. or c a n t h e y

anyways it’s gonna be a long nerdy thing so its under the cut

@percy-the-penguin @ender1821 i dunno if i can tag you so sorry for the tag but i’m kind of proud at how stupidly nerdy i can be

S is the 29th letter in the alphabet, so S!Kit could equal to 29!Kit

which equals to 8.841762e+30(Kit)

... dang that’s a big number

but what if you could make letters factorials? S! would be ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRS, so you get:

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRS(Kit)

if it isn’t case sensitive, you can multiply this out and get

ABCDEFGHI^2JK^2LMNOPQRST

if it is case sensitive, you get:

ABCDEFGHIJK^2LMNOPQRSit

however, i is the imaginary number symbol, so that would be equivalent to:

the square root of

(-A^2B^2C^2D^2E^2F^2G^2H^2I^2J^2K^4L^2M^2N^2O^2P^2Q^2R^2S^2t^2)

(tumblr won’t let me do the square root symbol >:( )

if we do her full name, S!Katherine, we get this if it isn’t case sensitive:

A^2BCDE^3FGH^2IJK^2LMN^2OPQR^2ST

WAIT SHE HAS H^2O IN HER NAME THEN hA i find this highly amusing

if it is case sensitive:

ABCDEFGHIJK^2LMNOPqRSae^2hinrt

(i tried to put it in alphabetical order idk if it is though my mind is bad at this)

once again, i is the imaginary number symbol, so this is equal to:

the square root of 

(-A^2B^2C^2D^2E^2F^2G^2H^2I^2J^2K^4L^2M^2N^2O^2P^2Q^2R^2S^2a^2e^4h^2n^2r^2t^2)

woah that’s long

anyways i just thought this was really funny

OH “skittles” HAS THE i IN IT TOO

so skittles equals to:

the square root of (-s^2k^2t^4l^2e^2s^2)

MOVE ASIDE X Æ A-12 THE SQUARE ROOT OF (-s^2k^2t^4l^2e^2s^2) IS COMING FOR YOU /j

haha sorry for the weird nerd stuff i just thought this was funny and sooooooo yeah

watch all the people who actually know math be like that’s not right you’re doing it wrong i tried okay let me have some fun

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #584: Enter Bowsette! (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

Ganondorf: Uhh.....

Hades: (Starts Smirking) Well, Well, Well~

Dark Samus: ....................

Mewtwo: ..........................

Ridley: (Eyes and Mouth Widened as He Starts Blushing at a Woman in a Black Dress.....Who Almost Resembles a Certain Princess) !!!......

????: (Chuckles Evilly While Doing a Fashion Pose) Surprised to see me like this, boys?~

Ridley: Uhh. (Immediately Got Up From his Seat) E-Excuse me! Gentleman, I uh....I had to uh....go outside to uhh....do stuff. (Sprints Away Towards the Mansion Door)

Ganondorf: I'm sorry, but...do we know you? Are you like..... another one of Peach's cousins or something?

????: What? No. Guys, it's me: Bowser.

Mewtwo: (Raised an Eyebrow While Crossing his Arms) If you really are Bowser, then tell me: How many children you have and what's their name?

Bowser(?): You're kidding, right? I have eight kids! Their names are Junior, Larry, Morton Jr., Wendy, Iggy, Roy, Lemmy, and Ludwig von Koopa!

Mewtwo: Hmm....I see....In that case, then tell me.... What is your thoughts on the Mushroom Kingdom's Hero, Mario and how a lot more often he has beaten you-

Bowser(?): ('Grrrrr') Fuck that Italian Plumber! Everytime I set my plans to action, he always had to fine some way around them! One of these days, I'm gonna rule that Mushroom Kingdom and beat stupid mustache loser...(Slams her (His) Fist on the Table) ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!

'Silence'

Mewtwo: ('Sigh') I believe that answers our question, gentlemen. She is really Bowser as a woman.

Bowser: Well, duh! That's what I've been telling you for the longest. Why didn't you believe me sooner?

Mewtwo: Simple. I just didn't believe that a woman, who looks exactly like the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, or any other woman in that matter, would ever come over here and directly tell us that is she is you.

Bowser: (Shrugged) Eh. Fair point.

Ganondorf: Sooooooo......Bowser.....You mind telling us why you turned yourself into a woman in the first place?.....Or better yet how?

Bowser: Well, to answer your second question, Ganon....(Proudly Points at the Crowd He/She is Wearing on His/Her Head) I was able to have this bad boy with me!

Mewtwo: A crowd?

Bowser: Oh it's not just any crowd. This right here is a Super Crown! It allows whoever wears, turn into a literal princess.

Ganondorf: Interesting......

Dark Samus: .......................

Hades: (Chuckles Lightly) It's sounds a bit more kinky if you ask me.

Mewtwo: (Turns to Hades in a Bit of Annoyance and Disgust) Keep your disturbing fantasies to yourself, Hades.

Hades: Hey now. No need to get all fussy with yours truly, Mewwy boy. Just speaking the truth is all.

Mewtwo: (Grits his Teeth While Balling his Fist Up with Dark Magic at the God of the Underworld) Never call me that again, swine. In case you already forgotten, the only one has the privilege to call me that alone is Zelda.....

Hades: Oho! (Gives an Angry Mewtwo a Smug Look on his Face) You don't say?

Ganondorf: Calm yourselves, boys. This isn't really the time for antagonizing each other.

Bowser: Yeah! I still got a lot to tell you about this bad boy!

Hades: Why, certainly. I'll stop as long as Mewwy here calm himself down.

Mewtwo: (Starts Growling at Hades)

Bowser: Mewtwo. Don't make me get Zelda up in here.

Mewtwo: (Sighs in Defeat Before Going Back to his Previous Posture) Fine.

Bowser: Good. Now, as I was trying to say.....(Starts Grinning Evilly) I can totally use this to my advantage of winning for once!

Ganondorf: Oh really? If so, then have you come up with a plan to use it yet?

Bowser: Well, you see, I....uhh....uhhhh....('Sigh') Okay, so maybe I haven't come up with an actual plan yet.....

Hades: (Rolled his Eyes) Big surprise....

Bowser: But know this, fellas!! Once I come up with one, not only will I finally beat that stupid plumber in own game, but me, my kids, and my subjects finally reign supreme, or my name now will not be QUEEN BOWSETT-

?????: Bowser!!

Bowser: (Turns Around to See Peach Glaring at Him/Her) Oh! Uhh. Peach! (Chuckles Awkwardly) Hey! How's it going?! I-I was just.....you know.... walking around.... Hanging out with the fellas and what not.

Peach: (Points at the Super Crown on Bowser's Head)

Bowser: O-Oh! You're uh... wondering why I got this silly looking crown on my head, huh? (Chuckles Awkwardly Some More) Funny story really. You see, I-

Peach: Gimme back the crown, Bowser.

Bowser: B-But-

Peach: (Shushed Bowser to Stop Talking) Give it to me...... Now.

With a groan of defeat, Bowser (or Bowsette) finally takes the Super Crown of his head, instantly turning him back to the King Koopa he always was.

Bowser: (Gives Peach the Super Crown Back) Here.

Peach: Honestly. How many times do I have to tell you not to steal this from me and try using it for your schemes?

Hades: Wait. (Starts Chuckling) You mean to tell me this isn't the first time Koopa boy over here try to steal that crown of yours?

Peach: ('Sigh') Unfortunately..... He's been trying to steal it from me non-stop ever since I first brought it here. It's already starting to get way out of hand.

Ganondorf: Now that you mentioned it, why did you have it here in the first place?

Peach: No real reason really. I just thought it look adorable. I didn't know it had that much power in it. But since a certain King Koopa....(Glares Back at Bowser) had to go and steal for the millionth time, I guess it's for the best to put it back from where it came from.... Wherever that is. Until then, I don't want any of you to try and lay a finger on this crown. Do understand me?

Ganondorf: (Shrugged) Eh. Sure.

Hades: Whatever you say, princess.

Mewtwo: I wasn't even interested in it to begin with.....

Dark Samus: (Simply Nodded) ..............................

Bowser: (Groans While Tapping his Claws on The Table and Looking Away)

Peach: Bowser..... (Pinches Bowser's Cheek) I want you to promise me!

Bowser: (Winches in Pain) Alright! Alright! Fine! I promise I won't mess with it anymore! You have my word!

Peach: (Sighs as She Finally Let Go of Bowser's Cheek) Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go out and buy another safe. Maybe some protective security to go with it..... (Walks Away While Calling Out For Someone) Mario!Will you go shopping with me please?!~

Bowser: Well...... That's another golden opportunity thrown out the window.

Ganondorf: I'm sure you'll think of another plan to claim victory soon enough. No need to rush with one now.

Bowser: ('Sigh') Whatever......

Ridley: (Rushes Back to the Table with Bouquet of Roses While Wearing a Tuxedo) I'm back, mila- Wait. Guys, where the woman with the black dress go? D-Did she already left home or something?

Bowser: (Whispers to Hades) You guys wanna tell me or should I?

Hades: Nah. Let's not anything. (Starts Smirking Evilly) I honestly wanna see how this stupidity plays out.

Ridley: Guys, seriously, where the fuck she is?!

@keyenuta

@cyber-wildcat

@italian-love-cake

@26shann

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

@gengar-sans

@chompycroc

[houseofbrat]

Joni Patry’s December 2020 Predictions in Astrology: Grand Finale for a Life Changing Year!

-------------------------------------------------------------

I normally don’t post beyond the pale ridiculously histrionic crap like this, but thought that there were some things she alluded to that were worth commenting on from my own perspective. If you watch it, just mentally dial down whatever she’s saying a few notches because she’s a few french fries short of a Happy Meal when she’s talking and about ready to say that the moon is going to crack open so that dragons can come forth right before Christmas. This is how over the top she is when she’s talking.

Also, if you’re a non-American, keep in mind that Joni does not have the greatest grip on how the US government works or US history. The Electoral College meets on 14 December regarding the presidential election, not the Supreme Court. The Supreme Court has its own schedule on when they hear cases. The Supreme Court will probably likely get involved regarding the election, but it won’t have anything to do with Trump or ballot counting. It’ll be more about how the Democratic electors are able to cast their two votes. Electors cast two votes--one for president and one for vice president. They are required to cast two votes.

(I had to push pause five times just to make it through this video because she is SOOOOOOO over the top. I may have forgotten all of the thoughts I initially had when I struggled my way through it.)

Important points:

1. Trump isn’t going to remain president. He’s probably not going to be at the inauguration in January. He’s probably going to resign next month and have Pence pardon him shortly afterwards. That’ll make Pence the 46th president, which is kind of funny when you think of all the people who bought “46″ hats & gear because they expected the 46th president to be a Democrat.

2. Joni’s mentioning that there will be two governments is complete bullshit. She’s saying shit like this because she can’t really make sense of what the outcome will be. Instead, she’s trying to get everyone to go crazy like her.

3. A significant “world leader” will probably die. Yes, that’s true. She didn’t have the balls to say who it would likely be though, which is fucking annoying. 

4. Trump does have the ultimate declassification power as President. He could totally declassify bunches of stuff before he resigns. He probably will. What that will be is anyone’s guess at the moment. 

5. I have reason to believe outside of the aspects Joni mentions that CIA shit is probably going to be revealed within the next year. If not in December by whatever Trump decides to declassify, then possibly sometime next year when Jupiter stations on the USA’s natal Moon. 

When I started parsing through the US Congressional charts--there are at least 45 charts that can be examined starting from 1935--I ended up noticing a strange similarity between the 2021 Congressional chart (the 117th Congress) and the 1975 Congressional chart (the 94th Congress). Initially, I was just looking at the congressional charts to see if you could determine when a chamber of Congress would change parties politically, which I believe you can. But after starting to parse through multiple yogas and other planetary connections to find what I was initially looking for, I noticed that there is a wealth of information in these charts, particularly when you can compare them to each other to see if similar yogas or lack of yogas have happened previously.

Anyhow, about two months ago, I noticed a particular similarity between the 1975 and 2021 Congressional charts. It took me a long time to understand what it probably means, and I’ll probably put my full thoughts on it in a later post. Maybe. But the similarity didn’t click in for me completely until I read this post by Matt Taibbi about a month ago. The post itself is almost a year old and still well worth reading, but this is the passage that struck me: 

There’s no way for Americans, and especially progressives, to really appreciate what the Russia story means without going back to the domestic spying programs first exposed by reporters like Seymour Hersh in the mid-seventies.

Originally tabbed the “Son of Watergate,” Hersh’s December 1974 report about “huge” spying operations – detailed in an internal CIA document known as the “Family Jewels” – led to revelations of wide-scale domestic surveillance of antiwar and black liberation movements, assassination attempts, misinformation campaigns, surveillance of reporters, a mail-opening program, human experimentation, and other activities so revolting that Henry Kissinger, not exactly a shrinking violent when it comes to such authoritarian stuff, called it the “horrors book.” Public disgust reached the point where there were calls for the abolition of spy agencies in general.

But a second backlash after Watergate never happened. News agencies, concerned that investigative reporting had gone “too far” after unseating a president, backed off the domestic spy story. The Pulitzer Committee quietly decided not to consider Hersh’s report, because it was “over-written, overplayed, under-researched and underproven.” Of course, every last detail of the “underproven” story would turn out to be true, but that wouldn’t be known for sure until 2007, when the “Family Jewels” were finally declassified. By then, the agencies had regrouped, and the spy programs reinvigorated.

When he returned to the White House as Vice President, onetime Ford administration official Dick Cheney rebuilt the secrecy bureaucracy. Intensely concerned with restoring the powers the executive branch lost in the seventies of his bitter experience, Cheney armed all the new or revived spying programs with a protective Catch-22. Extreme measures undertaken on national security grounds would henceforth also be protected from legal challenge on the same national security grounds.

Anyone hoping to contest any of these activities – secret FISA monitoring, inclusion on a no-fly or even an assassination list, the receipt of a National Security Letter from the FBI demanding access to communications information, an ordinary criminal prosecution buttressed by secret evidence – first had to win a difficult battle to prove that any of these things had even taken place.

Once past that hurdle, there would be a second battle to see the government’s reasons for taking these actions. Then, another battle to win the right to contest them. And so on.

Throughout the last three years, this pattern has repeated, often in absurd fashion. The lowlight was probably Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller’s indictment of a series of Russians connected to the Internet Research Agency.

When lawyers for one of the defendants unexpectedly showed up in court, Mueller declared millions of pages of non-classified documents “sensitive,” and obtained a protective order preventing defense counsel sharing discovery evidence – with their own clients! Nobody in the ostensibly “liberal media” even blinked at this dystopian insanity.

This is the metaphor still playing itself out as Connecticut Attorney General John Durham winds up his investigation of the investigation. We’re still at the stage of fighting over how much the public is entitled to learn what secret measures were undertaken on its behalf. That it takes this long and is this difficult for even the President of the United States to learn what tools were used to investigate him should be an enormous red flag, even to those who despise Trump.

In 1975, the Senate formed the Church Committee, which was the precursor to the Senate Intelligence Committee. You can read some of the original reporting on the NY Times website by Hersh still. 

1974 was a congressional election year and also the year of Watergate, which the main political action ended not only when Richard Nixon resigned, but when Gerald Ford pardoned Nixon. See the similarity right there? Covert intelligence revelations, scandal surrounding a president, scandalous president resigns, former VP turned President pardons his predecessor. That’s probably how it’s going to go with Trump and Pence next month.

6. Joni says/infers that the nation will be divided for possibly a long time. I’m not convinced that will be the case. I think by the time we get to January and February people will be ready to move on. Part of that will probably be due to more humble and calm leadership in the White House. But perhaps part of it will also be due to people like Joni who will stop being drama queens and trying to get people worked up about the political situation. If you actually watch the video, that is not a calm, rational person talking. Honestly, she’d be better off doing those antics in a drama class than in a youtube video. 

In short, some crazy shit is going to go down. There’s no reason to get overly worked up about it. Best to stay cool, like Fonzie. 

[tellywoodtrash]

Sanjivani - Weeks 7 + 8

Overall Plot

Sid and Ishani are about 10 minutes away from hardcore Love. And literally every single person knows and is rooting for it (including the security guards at Sanjivani/Ishani’s apartment complex!!!!!), except the two idiots themselves. Shashank is still dealing with the fallout of the thing with Juhi and the admin issues stemming from their unresolved issues, but small mercies, his relationship with Anjali seems to be looking up. Nurse Philo's daughter Jessica has been admitted mere days before her wedding and found to have a terminal illness and it's heartbreaking as fuck.

The Medical Stuff

Lol, does Ishani's "sickness" count? She's pretty convinced that she's dying of something serious, the way she was charting her symptoms and kept getting diagnostic test after diagnostic test, so I think it should. Glad she's finally gotten a diagnosis and the prognosis looks promising! Other than that, Nandini got operated on successfully by the Shashank-Juhi team, and the only active case we have is Jessica's Stage IV cancer. But I think that's going to focus more on the emotional side of things (getting her the dream wedding she wants), since it's at such an advanced stage that it wouldn't respond to treatment anyway.

The Acting

Thank the lord above, they have started giving Surbhi comedy to do, which is where she really shines as an actor. Namit is most excellent at heart eyes, and his crying has improved from the first few weeks; dialogue delivery still needs to be more polished though. Jason and Kunal are being used effectively by giving them hilarious, snarky scenes while they drill some sense into Ishani/Sid. Robin is still pretty much in the background other than to pop up and deliver the occasional wisecrack. Very sad to see Rashmi go, she'd really won my heart as Asha. The seniors got to ease up on the angsty scenes these weeks and I'm grateful for that; it's nice to see them loosen up a bit and smile and joke around. Special mention to Vedika Bhandari as Jessica, who's just ridiculously adorable and sooooooo likable, that I already am having trouble at the thought of letting her character go.

The Characters

Sid: MY DUDES, I DID NOT EXPECT TO FALL THIS HARD FOR SIDDHANT FUCKING MATHUR, BUT WELP, HERE WE ARE. I honestly cannot believe that this boy exists on Tellywood. Where to even start with him in these two weeks? How much younger than his years he seems when he was imploring his mom to stay to meet Shashank; his heart eyes when he wakes up to see Ishani first thing next morning (after waiting to see her the whole night!!!); his bashfulness at all the love he's getting from the whole hospital staff; his good-natured humoring of Ishani's weird behaviour... He's just so unassuming and Soft. I can't really recall seeing this lovable a male lead in tellywood in forever (all I can think of is Hussain K. characters in the early 2000s, in Krishna Arjun and Kumkum and all.) But by no means is Sid a pushover who tolerates any kind of BS. He rightfully rips Rishabh to shreds when he tries to discredit his relationship with Ishani, and understandably calls Ishani out on her nonsense when she's evading her duties, but in a decent way. There is some against-the-wall-caging (because Tellywood), but in a non-threatening manner; he maintains an appropriate distance, does not touch her, and while he does talk in a raised voice due to frustration, never does it veer into yelling that feels dangerous, and he repeatedly asks her if he said or did anything that's making her uncomfortable to be around him. I found it a little strange that he was so vehemently in denial of his feelings for Ishani in last week's episodes, because he seemed to readily accept after his conversation with Guddu Mama (“Halwa banaa ke leke jaaoon? Usko achcha lagega?" with the most hopeful smile; calling Ishani a "bohut hi pyaari si princess" to her face and specifying that he specifically made the halwa for her "pyaaaaar se", being open to the idea of marrying Ishani when Nurse Philo/Jessica jokingly suggest it....) but I guess it would be pretty incongruous for him to instantly fall hard for Ishani AND recognize it, with his past as a "player". So I like that they brought in one of his flings to contrast how different his feelings for Ishani are compared to the other girls he's dated; and subsequently how he's processing his many emotions about the situation. Most of all, I love that his feelings for Ishani don't hamper him from doing his job right; instead they just make him more sensitive to understanding her and making her feel good in any capacity that he can. He came all the way over to her house to apologize for making her cry, AND MADE HER PARATHAS!!!!!!! He slept over, but respectfully all scooched up on her tiny couch! What a goddamn Good Boi. Also, him crying over Jessica's diagnosis? Heart-fucking-breaking. We should all be so lucky to find a doctor who cares about his patients THIS much.

Ishani (or lol as Guddu Mama calls her, "Pareshaani"): I really was expecting the absolute worst with this "Ishani has Loveria" track. And it did not start out well; almost 3 whole episodes were just her puerile lovesick imagination waale music videos and that goddamn CGI titli and I was just like jfc whyyyyyyyyyy. BUT THEN!!!!!!! They finally started showing us the funny side of Ishani, and it's succeeded in making the character lovably kooky, instead of just unpleasant to be around. Her panic attack in the bathroom where she legit thinks she's having a stroke and tries to literally shake off the crush, making all the first year residents repeatedly do ECGs on her, her awkwardness around Sid, the rant where she bemoans falling in love with Sid of all people, her child-like crying to Asha when Sid finally gives her a dressing down for acting idiotic ("Mujhe ITNA daanta! ITNAAAA! Aur unprofessional bhi bola! *violently stabbing finger in the air* UNPROFESSIONAL!!!!!!!!"); all of it was just hilarious as fuck. We're finally seeing the endearing side of Ishani's addled personality. I'm also very glad she got the much-required wakeup call from Sid/Asha, that she's being very unprofessional by running away from her duties, and hopefully from here on, she'll be learn to focus on her job, even with Sid's distracting presence. She's also made quite a bit of progress when it comes to her germophobia; but realistically: it's only with Sid (and Asha) - the two people she's really close to; she's still seen being touch-averse with the rest, but slowly getting better; letting children touch her, offering to shake hands with Jessica and Jignesh, etc.

Asha & Aman: I'm super bummed that Rashmi is being replaced as Asha, because she was honestly so good in the role; cheerful and hilarious in most of her scenes, gentle and sensitive with Ishani, helping her out as much as she can with this inconvenient crush... It's not an easy role, with the accent and all. I hope this new actress is as competent as Rashmi, who always highlighted the humour but without making the accent the punchline; it was always the things she said and how she chooses to word it. It's an important distinction, to not make the regional background into a caricature.

Aman is Aman as usual, lol; vicariously getting kicks thanks to the shenanigans of everyone around. Also, to my surprise, Aman and Asha live together! They offer up their place for a party for Sid; when Ishani freaks out that the cake he ordered isn't Sid's favt. flavour, Aman just shrugs "Meri Asha ko butterscotch pasand hai." I still don't really know what his equation with Asha is, but whatever it is, I love it. Asha's a self-sufficient girl, but it's obvious that Aman feels really protective of her and wants to see her happy always. I really hope the new actress maintains this ambiguous chemistry with Robin too, till the writers decide what direction they wanna take this relationship in.

Dialogue of the Week: Asha [walking in on Ishani holding a sleeping Sid's hand]: Abbe! Humaare saamne toh badi "garma"phobic bani ghoomti hai, ab dekho Dr. Sid ke saath kaise touchy-wouchy ho rahi hai!!!!!!!!!!!

Rishabh: Fucking asshole. He Tried, but he's no match for the razor sharp wit of Sid, or Asha's jugaadu skills to relieve an overworked Ishani. Chal dafa ho, be! Manhoos kahinka.

Neil: He's really really enjoying Sid and Ishani's crushes on each other, taking the mick out of both of them at any given opportunity. I truly lmao-ed when he was seriously examining Ishani for an illness on her insistence and then eye-rollingly dismisses her with "Kuch nahi hua hai tumhe." Cutest snark bean.

Rahil: MY ACTUAL FAVE. Lmao, if Ishani’s got her little purple titli, then Rahil is Sid’s grownass plaid-shirt-wearing TITLA, who appears outta nowhere to serve up piping hot sass at his confused dumbassery. His acerbic, plain-speak snark seems to be the only language Sid understands (as opposed to the first years' gleeful teasing, or the good-natured ribbing of elders like Shashank and Philo and Guddu Mama), and him having to exasperatedly explain things to his boss-who-is-also-his-bff is just hilarious. I relish every single scene he appears in to the max! Also props to him for giving us the gem "same level ke ajeeb" as the OTP tag for SidIsha!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shashank: A much better fortnight for Dr. Shashank! Two of his idiot babies are very obviously in love (that scene of Ishani showing him her reports and describing the butterfly through pantomime though, lmao) and now his relationship with Anjali is defrosting (the exchange about the surgeon she was interested in and how he wants grandkids from her??? The cutest!!!!) Things still remain frosty with Juhi though, and I don't understand why he won't just address the issue and clarify things in a straightforward manner, instead of dragging it out like this and making it awkward with his COS/mentee. Anyway, good on him for getting that win on Vardhan, but I feel like he needs to stop being so damn stubborn on his issues without giving reasons. It’s not helping matters around here, personally or professionally.

Juhi: Literally the classiest female professional on TV??????? She hasn't stopped holding Shashank accountable for how he sabotaged her career, but I love that she has sorted it out enough to work with him, but also engages in minor acts of pettiness like gleefully scraping his car with hers, cheekily grinning and apologizing saying she needed to get out some of the angst before they operated on a patient together. For what it's worth, I was fully on her side during the argument with Shashank about the machines for the hospital; it sounded like a good deal, but of course, she should have had the foresight to know Vardhan would try to do some kinda fuckery. She’s right in not really trusting Shashank anymore, but needs to be a little more prudent with how she proceeds while making decisions for Sanjivani. In a way, it’s really sad how she doesn’t really have any allies at her level. Shashank was the only one she could really rely on, and he went and blew that relationship up, and now she’s kinda adrift in the organization. I hope Shashank does good by her and repairs the relationship.

Anjali: Phew, finally a good break for Anjali. I'm ecstatic. She's realized that Vardhan's manipulating her and broken free of his gaslighting nonsense. She's much smarter than both Shashank and Vardhan thought she was and yes sis, play them both!!!!!!! She got her COS post, but also isn't playing by Vardhan's rules. Ultimate winner! But does she also have some romantic feelz for V? Coz that last scene between them had very intimate vibes, from the way she walked into his office and knew where the booze was, to her pouring him a glass and casually lounging against the wall like a wife/girlfriend would. She wasn't even really fazed when he grabbed her; either she's a hella strong woman who cannot be trifled with, or she's familiar with this side of him. I really hope it's the former coz she deserves someone who's a grown up version of Sid (*cough* Atul Joshi *cough*) who's super good and healthy for her, not this deceitful fuckwad.

Vardhan: What is his deal? No honestly, does he have some kinda personal stake in saving Sanjivani from financial ruin? It seems so, with how overwrought and devastated he seemed at Shashank exposing the machine waala scam. Also, the way he manhandled Anjali? Unforgivable. Die in a fire, scum.

Rahul: Still haven't seen him but apparently he's hiding in that secret room in the luxury ward? What the everloving experimental fuck is he doing with pregnant women who look to be unable to afford medical care? Nothing ethical, that's for sure. I have a feeling this will maybe tie up to Ishani's parents waala plot, but for the meanwhile, jfc, just reveal yourself man, coz this shit is getting scary as fuck the longer you go unseen.

Overall Rating: 5/5

[doomlover21]

Widojest Week Day 1

This is my first published Critical Role fic.  This wasn’t the initial fic I was going to submit.  The idea for this came from a bad thunderstorm that passed through our area two days ago.  Sorry this is so long, I kinda got carried away.  Anyways enjoy Rainy Day Waltz!

Rainy Day Waltz

       A fierce thunderstorm has rolled through the Xhorassian capital of Rosohna.  The party of adventurers known as the Mighty Nein have been confined to their house for several hours and some of them have been going stir crazy.  The only ones who haven’t been struck with a case of cabin fever are Nott, Yeza, Caleb, and Caduceus.

       “Ugh, I am sooooooo suuuuuuper bored,” Jester whines.

       “Yeah, join the fucking club.  Wish this rain would stop so at least I’d have an excuse to go walk around town or something,” Beau complains.

       “Beau?” Yasha’s quiet voice asks.  The monk in question turns to look at her.

       “Yeah?”

       “Would you like to join me in the training room?  I think it might be good for both of us to hit something,” she asks her.  Beau’s face lights up for a brief moment before she hops up onto her feet.  She clenches and unclenches her fists a few times.

       “Hells yeah I would!”  At her enthusiastic response, Yasha smiles and leads her out of the happy room and into the training room downstairs.  

       “Well, I’m gonna go and see if Deucy needs any help with his gardening,” Fjord announces as he gets up.  Jester frowns.

       “I think I’m gonna go see what Cayleb’s up to.”

       “He’s probably studying.  Best not to disturb him,” Fjord warns.  She shrugs.

       “That’s never stopped me from pestering him before.” This brings a smile to his face which she returns with a mischievous smirk of her own.  He gives her a salute before the two part ways, Fjord heading up to the tower garden and Jester down the stairs to the library lab combination. Once down there, she’s met with the sight of Nott and Yeza busily working through some alchemical experiments.  The pair of them talk animatedly about various chemicals and processes that are very foreign and nonsensical to the tiefling. It brings a smile to her face as she thinks about how happy Yeza makes Nott and vice versa.  

She notices the red-headed wizard leaning over the small desk in the room, sheets of used parchment strung about him.  Each piece of parchment is crumpled or folded up in some way and has smudged ink of barely legible symbols on them.  Jester picks up one of the crumpled-up sheets and unfolds it.  She studies the smudged ink and tries to decipher the symbols. She can make out some writing on the paper, but the letters don’t come together to form any words that she recognizes. She remembered the few times she had seen Caleb’s spell book and the writing inside was very similar.

‘This must be what Zemnian looks like all written out,’ she thinks. She looks at all the crumpled-up pieces of parchment, and a mischievous smirk crosses her face.  She recrumples the page in her hand and launches it at the Zemnian wizard still writing at his desk.  The parchment ball hits him squarely in the head.  He curses in his native tongue as he rubs at the spot where he was hit.  He turns to look at the couple still working on their potions and other alchemical projects.

“Nott, zis isn’t funny, you know?” he says.  The goblin girl turns to look at him with a raised eyebrow.  In her hands are two vials that Jester can only guess the contents of.

“What isn’t funny?” she asks.  Caleb glares at her, and Jester quickly covers her mouth to hide a snicker. She isn’t fast enough, though, as Caleb and Nott quickly turn to the sound of her barely hidden snort.

“Jester?” Nott asks.  Caleb rolls his eyes.  He turns back around to his papers.

“I’m busy right now, Jester.  Vhy don’t you don’t and prank somevone else?” he asks.  

“Oh come on, Cayleb!  Don’t be an old stick in the mud,” she whines.  Yeza taps his wife on the shoulder, and with a final look at her tiefling friend, the pair return to their work.  The Zemnian doesn’t answer her, but she also doesn’t see his quill moving either.  This takes this as a good sign.

“There’s no one else to prank right noooooowwwwwww…Beau and Yasha are in the training room, Nott is busy with Yeza, and Fjord is helping out Caduceus…And you’re not doing anything and it’s still like thundering and raining and stuff out…” she complains.  He huffs out a sigh and turns around, a glint of amusement in his eyes.

“So, you decided zat I vas zee only vone left to annoy?”

“Weeeeellllllll not to annoy, exactly.”

“Zen to do vat?”

“I’m bored, Cayleb.  And there’s nothing to do,” she complains.  He nods.

“Ah, zere’s zee reason,” he says.  

“Can’t we do something fun since everyone else is doing stuff together?” she begs.

“Like vat?”

“I don’t know,” she says with a shrug.  She smiles, though as now it appears that she has gotten his full attention.

“Vell I hafe to finish up zis spell transcription first zen I’m sure zat vee can find somesink to do.”

“How long is that gonna take?”  she whines.

“Not fery long.  Just gife me two minutes.”  He turns around and slowly his quill begins moving again.  Jester hums to herself to pass the time.  As she hums, she sways back and forth in a very slow dance. Caleb finds himself not only smiling but humming along with Jester despite himself.  He does manage to finally finish his work, but it takes him a little longer than he had initially anticipated.  He turns to the cleric once he’s finished, and she continues to hum and dance not even noticing him.  A half-smile teases his lips.

“Jester?” She stops spinning and turns to him.  A flush tinges her cheeks.  

“Yes, Cayleb?”

“Vould you come vith me?  I sink I hafe found somesink for zee two of us to do to stafe off boredom.”

“Okay,” she says.  She bounces with joy as she follows him out to the foyer.  Once into the large open room, he turns around and greets her with a smile.

“Okay, so where are we going, Cayleb?”  Jester asks as she spins around to look at the room.

“Vee are here,” he says as he extends his arms.  Jester raises an eyebrow.

“Um…okay?  And why are we here?” she asks in confusion.  Caleb approaches Jester and with a low bow he extends a hand to her.

“Jester, may I hafe zis dance?” he asks with a smile.  Jester covers her mouth as a shriek of joy escapes her.  She jumps up and down several times.  Caleb can’t help but laugh at her antics.  She does manage to collect herself, though.  

“Of course, Cayleb,” she says as she takes his hand.  She whispers a small prayer to the Traveller, and the three-fourths tempo of a waltz rings out through the air.  Caleb’s smile widens as he pulls her in closer.  

“I hope you’re a better dancer when you’re sober, Cayleb,” she jokes. He huffs out another laugh.

“I promise zat I am a much better dancer vhen I am sober,” he promises. And as Jester would soon find out, he could indeed follow through on that promise.  He easily and gracefully leads her through the dance.  It is such a change from what she is normally use to from him.  She never would have imagined that the weak and clumsy Zemnian could ever possibly be graceful and light on his feet.

“You were right, Cayleb,” she says with a giggle.  He hums in response.

“You really are a better dancer when you’re sober.”

“I vould sink zat anyvone vould be a better dancer sober razer zan drunk,” he says with a laugh.  The pair continue dancing for what feels like hours.  Jester relaxes in his arms and rests her head on his shoulder.  She sighs dreamily as she drinks in his scent.

“You smell good,” she mutters into his shoulder.  He turns to look at her, a quizzical and amused look in his eyes.

“Oh?  And her I sought you sought I vas stinky,” he teases.  This only earns him a light slap on the arm.  A very light one, Jester has to remind herself, as her partner is much weaker than she is.

“I vould hate for vord to get out zat I smell good, vouldn’t you?”

“Well, we’ll just have to keep it our little secret…And I won’t tell everyone that you’re actually a really good dancer, either.”

“I appreciate zat.”  She hums. The pair fall silent again until Jester finally breaks the silence.

“Where did you learn how to dance like this?  Was it at the school?”

“Uh….nein….Ah, vell zat is to say I didn’t learn how to….um.. vat I mean to say is zat I already knew how to valtz before I vent to school,” he fumbles over his words as memories of his first waltz come surging forward.

“I had teachers who taught me all sorts of things.  Like they taught me how to play piano, and how to dance, and how to like be a proper lady and stuff.  The one lady who taught me wasn’t very good, though.  I pranked her a lot,” Jester tells him.

“I bet…Vell, meine mutter vas zee vone who taught me how to valtz,” he says softly.  She lifts her head up at the foreign words.

“Your what?”

“Ah...my mozer,” he says sadly.

“Your mama taught you how to waltz?  That sounds so cute, Cayleb!” she gushes.  A frown contorts his face.  

“Ja.  I suppose.” Jester can feel the depression rolling off of him in waves.

“Come on, Cayleb, you can’t get all sad now.  You’re dancing with me, and I don’t dance with sad people,” she says firmly.  This brings a small smile to his face.

“If you say so.”

“I do say so, and now you can’t be sad for the rest of the dance. Cleric’s orders.”  He laughs.  

“And how exsackedly do you intend to carry out zose orders?”

“Weeeeelllllllllll, maybe you just need someone to tell you that you’re sweet and kind and all sorts of nice and handsome and that I just looooooovveeeee dancing with you and I wish we could do it more often, but I know you don’t like people seeing and stuff, which is totally okay, and I get that and….”she rants.

“Jester,” he whispers.  She stops her rant mid-sentence at his soft and tender word.

“Ja?”  The Zemnian word on her tongue brings another smile to his face.  He has been smiling a lot today, despite all the gloominess outside, he muses.

“Shut up,” he says.  Normally Jester would be offended at being told to shut up, but the way that Caleb looks at her and the way that he moves his free hand to her chin stops her.  He leans down and her heart nearly pounds out of her chest.  She rises up onto her tiptoes to meet him.  When their lips meet, a fire of desire races through both of them.

This being Jester’s first real kiss she eagerly follows Caleb’s lead as he closes his eyes and leans into her.  She unclasps his hand and wraps both arms around his neck like she had read about in her romance novels.  The Zemnian, in turn, pulled her in closer and held her as tight as he could.  The kiss lasted for two minutes and twenty seconds exactly, as his keen mind reminded him, and it was the most passion laid kiss he had ever had.

When they pulled away, they were both gasping for air and smiling.  A warmth spread all through Jester, and all she wanted was to spend all day in his arms.  But she knew that he would never allow that, so she instead allowed herself to just drink in this moment.  She wished that she had his keen mind she that she could remember every last detail of this.

“Um…uh…I’m sorry.  Zat vas uncalled for,” he stutters.

“Don’t you dare apologize, Cayleb!  That was amazing!”  And it really was, at least in Jester’s mind.  So amazing in fact that she gently grabbed his chin and pulled him into another kiss.  At first this second kiss was more reluctant, but it quickly became just as passion filled as the first.  They pulled away a little too quickly for Jester’s liking, but to her surprise he pulled her into another one.  And when she felt his tongue pushing against her lips, she parted them and allowed him entry.

She wasn’t sure how, but this felt even better than the first two kisses. They were both very awkward, but they soon fell into a rhythm as their tongues explored every inch of each other’s mouths.  Now feeling a little more daring than before, Jester bit down on Caleb’s bottom lip and elicited a moan from him.  She could feel a swelling of pride in knowing that she had been the cause of that sound. She also could feel the Zemnian’s little Zemnian pressing against her thighs, but she wasn’t about to dwell on that not when the two are pulling away for air again.

This time, though, they don’t go in for another kiss.  They just stay there in one another’s embrace.  Jester lays her head back down on him, and is pleasantly surprised when he lays his head on top of hers.

“Wow, Cayleb.  That was like the best dance ever!” she compliments.  She almost wishes she could see the flush on his face, but then she would have to look up at him and that is definitely not something that she wants right now.  She can feel him smile against her hair.

“Ja.  I hafe not danced like zat for a long time,” he answers.  She chuckles at that.

“Did you and Astrid ever dance like that?” she can’t help asking. He lifts his head and pushes away from her.  He doesn’t let her go, but he does give her a stern and serious look.

“Didn’t anyvone efer tell you zat it is rude to talk about anozer person vhile you are somevone’s arms?” he asks.

“Well you did the last time we danced,” she counters.

“I vas drunk, Jester,” he argues back.  Her face falls as she lowers her head.  Tears well up and she tries to stifle a sniffle.  She had had such a good time and now here she is ruining the moment.  A moment she might not ever get again.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers.  It is almost too low for him to hear.  But hear it he does, and his face softens as he pulls her in again.

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to blow up on you.  I just…” he starts.  He takes a deep breath and gives himself a moment to breathe in her scent.

“I don’t vant to sink about her.  I vant to get her out of my mind.  It has been so many years, and I doubt zat she efen remembers me, let alone remembers how in lofe vee vere.”  She leans into him and just allows herself to revel in how warm he is.

“Plus zere is….uh…vell..I may be, possibly in lofe vith…uh…nefermind…forget I said anysink.”

“It’s okay, Cayleb.  I love you too,” she says softly.  He gasps, but instead of pulling away he only pulls her in closer.

“Ich lieben dich, Jester.  And sank you for zee dance,” he says.  She nods.

“I wouldn’t want to dance with anyone else.”

“Not efen, Fjord?”

“Now, now, you know you shouldn’t talk about someone else while you’re holding someone in your arms,” she scolds jokingly.

“Ja, alright.  Forgife me,” he says with a chuckle.

“You are forgiven, but only if you kiss me again.”  He frees her head from his and leans down to press a series of kisses along her cheek until he finally lands on her lips again.  This is the shortest kiss yet, but no less pleasant than the others.  Just as she is about to lean in again, she hears what sounds like Beauregard’s voice coming from the training room nearby.  Jester turns to look out one of the nearby windows to see that the rain has stopped.

“The rain’s stopped.”

“Ja, it has.”

“Guess that means we’ll just have to move this outside then,” she jokes. The two laugh as they pull away.

“Vee vill certainly need to hafe a talk about zis later,” he says as he gestures between the two of them.  She nods.  

“Ja, but later.  Now let’s go outside and enjoy the day.”  Just as he is nodding his assent, a thunderous sound erupts as the rest of the Nein come into their room from every which way.

“Let’s go shopping, you guys!” Jester announces.  They all laugh as they are leaving.  Jester falls into step next to Caleb and stealthily takes hold of his hand.  He smiles and squeezes it tight.  Jester had never liked the rain, but for once she could say that this was a rainy day she definitely enjoyed.  

[gothambatsnews]

Podcast 6: Feeling Good During Fall and Winter

[“Spoiler Alert Podcast” theme song plays. There are two feminine voices in the background. The conversation fades, there are three taps on the mic.] [Stephanie:] “Hello Gotham High School and welcome to Spoiler Alert! I’m your host Stephanie Brown, and today, unfortunately, I won’t be joined by my usual co-host Dick Grayson, he’s actually too busy. Buuuut I am joined by the one and only CASSANDRA CAIN! Say hi, Cass”

[Cassandra:] “Hello, Cass.”

[Stephanie:] “Funny. So as you probably know, there’s a veeeery big game coming and our boys are training a lot these days. Thankfully I’m able to use a few minutes here to present you our podcast, but it’s quite wild for the cheerleaders too, as you may assume.”

[Cassandra:] “They’re going to Central City. Playing against the Cougars, next week. Saturday.”

[Stephanie:] “Right. That means for today, it’s a girls only show. I mean, for the hosts. Anyone can benefit the advice in this one, don’t get me wrong.”

[Cassandra:] “Everyone can feel down and suffer from lack of light and warmth in Fall and Winter. Meaning you are welcome to stay, no matter your identity.”

[Stephanie:] “Exactly. As you can suspect it, today’s topic is about Self Love and how to feel better during these dark times. Even if summer’s over, along with its refreshing watermelons, autumn’s got its own little perks. [Cassandra:] “Like Pumpkin Spice Latte.”

[Stephanie:] “Yep. Looking at you, Jason.”

[Cassandra:] “Sound of the rain? When the leaves go crack under our boots? Boots, actually.”

[Stephanie:] “Mmm.. the leaves yes. Boots shopping?”

[Cassandra:] “Just wearing boots, too. Spending time with friends. In the mall? It’s nice and warm.”

[Stephanie:] “Just staying inside where it’s cozy actually.”

[Cassandra:] “With a nice cup of tea?”

[Stephanie:] “Yes, and cocoa if tea isn’t what you like. There’s plenty of good things in Fall and Winter. Not to mention the snow and the unspeakable joy of throwing snowballs straight into people’s faces. But what to do when you’re feeling low nonetheless? Let’s get down to business an-”

[Cassandra:] [In song.] “... To de-feat the Cou-gars?”

[Stephanie:] [Chuckling] “You had to quote Disney, huh? But no, to get into the heart of the matter!”

[Cassandra:] [Sounds like she’s smiling.] “Today we picked four main things that won’t cost too much. Most of us are students and can be hard to follow advice when it’s too expensive.”

[Stephanie:] “Yeah, not everyone is a Wayne, sadly. But the first point may or may not involve getting some supplies, but usually you can manage without buying anything.”

[Cassandra:] “Yes! Art therapy is very popular. Creating is good for our mood. Grab a pen, some pencils, colors, yarn, whatever you have or want, and do something creative. Paint, draw, doodle, just have fun. It doesn’t have to be nice or good looking, you just have to have fun!”

[Stephanie:] “Actually, pretty sure that cooking can be included in that point. Except if your name is Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne or Tim Drake, in which case it’s just living dangerously.”

[Cassandra:] “Calling them out, Steph? They’ll get revenge. You and I know that.”

[Stephanie:] “They can bring it on, this is a free podcast! FREEDOM OF SPEECH!”

[Cassandra:] [Really laughing this time] “Heheh. That only protects your speech, not from the boys.”

[Stephanie:] “I’ll face the problem when I get to it.”

[Cassandra:] [Snorts] “But yes, cooking, especially since it’ll be good for you to eat a balanced meal.”

[Stephanie:] “Don’t just throw a snack in the microwave, or cereals in a bowl. Don’t be a Dick! Make something. Start small. Maybe a smoothie or something, if you’re uncomfortable with the stove and oven. But make it yourself. It’s less expensive, usually healthier, and way better in the long run.”

[Cassandra:] “And fulfilling!”

[Stephanie:] “And once you master the basics you can begin to improvise. Add stuff, cook with new ingredients,... Make heart-shaped waffles…” [happy sighs] “I just want to wake up some day to a tray of heart waffles covered in chocolate, maybe a rose next to the plate. Romance tip, get your significant other heart waffles.”

[Cassandra:] [With a very neutral tone] “Someday, maybe, who knows?”

[Stephanie:] “Ah, but I got distracted, my bad, my bad. Where were we….” [Shuffling paper noise] “Ah right, here. Planting something.”

[Cassandra:] “Taking care of a plant is very relaxing. Don’t know why? It helps to have a tiny bit of nature inside. Especially in Gotham. And you can grow herbs to cook. Bonus points.”

[Stephanie:] “Ok I’ll be honest, I’m terrible with plants, BUT I got a workaround.”

[Cassandra:] “You do?”

[Stephanie:] “Fake flowers. Expensive ones though, not the cheap plastic ones. I got a few ones, mostly made out of fabric, and I switch between the different sets to maintain the illusion it’s fresh flowers. If you don’t look too closely, it’s alright.”

[Cassandra:] “So the parsley I got you…?”

[Stephanie:] “The one you named Peanut? Dead, sorry. So so sorry, I didn’t want to tell you!”

[Cassandra:] “Next time I’ll just get you a scarf like everyone else.”

[Stephanie:] “PLEASE NO!!” [Silence] “I mean… I already got 12 scarves thanks to Dick and Tim and Babs and other friends, I don’t even wear a scarf most of the time.”

[Cassandra:] “Fine. Mittens it’ll be then. Which leads us to the next point, go outside. Get fresh air.”

[Stephanie:] “Get ready to go outside, too. Don’t just make two steps outside with dumb sweatpants and a lazy bun, get ready! Always get out of the house like you’d like a potential date to see you for the first time. Not all out, but pretty enough and comfortable. Put on some makeup too. Nothing much, but if you’re feeling low, there’s nothing compared to putting on some lipstick to see it bring the life back to your face.”

[Cassandra:] “I thought that was the blush powder’s job.”

[Stephanie:] “Or the blush powder, yeah. Any of those. Also for our male listeners, never underestimate the power of a good concealer. Don’t be shy and get some. It’ll cover for all your long nights spent studying. Or anything else, really.”

[Cassandra:] “I thought the makeup topic was for another week?”

[Stephanie:] “It’s never too early for concealer, Cass. Just make sure you got the right tone. Erm… Oh, right. If you don’t know what to put as clothes to get out, stick to the basics.”

[Cassandra:] “Black?? But we said..”

[Stephanie:] “No no, I know what we said, get some colors. Sooooooo… WEAR THE RED AND GOLD!!! GO BATS GO!!”

[Cassandra:] “But at this time of the year be prepared to be mistaken with a Gryffindor student.”

[Stephanie:] “What’s wrong with that?”

[Cassandra:] “Some of us prefer the other houses. Not me, obviously, but you maybe. Or the boys. Especially Damian. He really enjoys being sorted in Slytherin.”

[Stephanie:] “Ok I’ll give you that. But you got to admit that at least it’s easy to get decent clothes, you just have to gather your Gotham High School merch- Oh god, wait.”

[Cassandra:] “What?”

[Stephanie:] “We’re talking about Harry Potter and Tim isn’t ev-”

[A phone dings. There’s some noise as Steph fishes for it]

[Stephanie:] "Oh god, it's Tim." [Cassandra:] "What did he say?" [Stephanie:] "'Tell them about my Dumbledore theory.' No, I'm not gonna. Goodbye Timothy."

[Sound of her phone being placed down.] [Cassandra:]"But you know he'll try to-" [A phone dings] "Text me." [Stephanie:] "Don't do what he says!" [Cassandra:] "He's threatening. He'll come here to crash your podcast."

[Stephanie:] “Please no. Tim if you hear us, don’t. Seriously don’t.”

[Cassandra:] “He’s probably already practically here or something, Stephanie.”

[Stephanie:] “Ok let’s finish this before he comes then. The last thing you probably heard it a thousand of times, but just turn off your phone and computer, and take a bit of time to just breathe.”

[Cassandra:] “Meditation. It’s called meditation. It helps lower the heart rate, and to put things in perspective. Makes people happier too.” [Stephanie:] “It doesn’t have to be hours long, just one or two minutes are already enough. We’ll… Talk about it in depth in another podc-

[Sound of a door being slammed open. A scream on Steph’s side] 

[Tim:] "LET ME TELL THEM ABOUT MY THEORY STEPH, COME ON!"

[Cassandra:] “NO! TIM GO!”

[Stephanie:] “And that’s a topic for another tiMELOVEANDSPARKLES!!”

[End of Episode 6]

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #203

I’m not dead, World of Warcraft just devoured my life again.

Have you ever been inside of an abandoned building? Yes; a shack first, but we picked up the courage to just barely set foot into this small building absolutely littered with newspapers and such. Almost went into the main house, but my sister, friend, and I were too intimidated by the idea. I didn't want to imagine what could be in there; already anxious by that age, I worried about feral animals or homeless being in there. Have you ever actually believed in monsters? (Like as a kid) Yes, I think. Do you have any fascination with the macabre? Examples? Oh boy, do you know me? I find most gore cool, I love bone art/vulture culture sort of stuff, I find death and decay fascinating, then there's the roadkill photography I do (done in only great respect/to show the horror of what we can cause), dark and especially gory artwork... I could go on for a while. Do you actually think skeletons are scary? I LOVE skeletons, add that to the above list. I was always excited in school if our science class had a replica in it. What monster movie is your favorite? This is broad... You mean like, actual monsters? Not like Freddy Krueger, per se, and focused on them? Hell I dunno, maybe Monsters Inc., lol. Is Hocus Pocus really a good movie, or a bit overrated? We cannot associate if you so much as dislike Hocus Pocus. What witch-themed movie/show is your favorite, anyhow? See above. Do you like The Nightmare Before Christmas? Hell yeah. Ha, pretty funny though: I'm not obsessed with the movie or anything, yet people give me sooooooo much Jack Skellington stuff for my birthday and/or Christmas. I do love Jack, totally, but you'd assume I was more in love with the character than I actually am. Do you count it as a Halloween movie and a Christmas movie? Halloween, for me. Do you like Jack or Sally better? Jack. What other Tim Burton works do you enjoy, if any? Corpse Bride and Alice in Wonderland are my absolute favorites, then there's Frankenweenie, Beetlejuice, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach (literally my lil sis's and my childhoods), and probably more. I just love him. Are there any ‘dark’ or ‘spooky’ films you recommend? Absolutely the original Blair Witch Project. Spoiler, you never see the "witch," and that just made it so much spookier, particularly when there's a scene that seems to have a high chance of her showing up on the camera. It's very convincing in selling it as "based on a true story;" the characters act realistic in the situations they're in and are very dedicated to acting well. It's my personal definition of a "good" horror movie. If anything, shit, watch it for the ending. Creepiest goddamn thing. Just for fun – what would your personal hell look like? Yeesh, let's not visualize that... On Supernatural, do you like the angels or demons better? I am way, WAY behind, but from very faint memories, I believe the demons. Have you ever purchased anything from an occult or New Age shop? What? No. Do you know any Pagans/Wiccans? I believe one of my old friends is Wiccan? Do you know any Satanists? I don't believe so. Would you ever keep a tarantula as a pet? Nah. Are there any urban legends in your area? What are they? Looked it up and apparently NC does have some, but idk about *my* area. Do you find dead trees beautiful? Some, like really big ones. Who was the last person you sat next to? Mom. Are you embarrassed to let others see you without makeup? No. Have you ever had a nickname at your church? If so, what? Don't believe so, when I grew up going to church. What was the last stuffed animal you bought? Not sure. Maple trees, fir trees, or palm trees? Maple. Which biblical name do you prefer: Naomi, Esther, Rachel, or Joanna? Naomi, easily. I used to want to name my hypothetical daughter that. Which biblical guys name do you prefer: Seth, Jedidiah, Ezra, or Buz? Seth. Who is the hardest working person you know? MY. MOTHER. She works her fucking ASS off; I'd like to see most people handle even a single day in her life. Can you name any songs by Godsmack? A few: "No Rest For The Wicked," "Whatever," "Mama," "Voodoo," "Voodoo Too," "Hollow," "Time Bomb," "The Enemy," and... that may be it? What has been the most exciting moment of your life thus far? Meeting Sara. How deeply do you care for your education? Is it something you take seriously? I don't really know how to answer this. Like... I care, but I don't care enough to be competitive about it or obsess over it. I target for just being "enough." Would you prefer to go to a beach or to a park for a day, and why? What would you do? Park. The beach is too hot, windy, and I hate the feel of sand. Idk what I'd do at the park considering there are various kinds... What are five things you own in your favorite color? Tank top, iPod, uh... I'm blanking. Is your favorite clothing store close to your house or do you have to travel far? The nearest one is like an hour away. In real life do you laugh like ‘haha,’ ‘hehe’ or something else? The former. Do you have any unusual skills? No. Do you have any bug bites right now? No. Do you like to look at other peoples’ houses? Sure, when riding by them. What’s the weirdest compliment you’ve ever received? Good question. Maybe my toes are cute? (They're fucking tiny.) Would you say you’re more witty or childish about jokes? Witty, I guess. What do you think about video games? One of the greatest technological achievements. Video games brought forth a new form of entertainment to enjoy, one that can hold someone's focus for hours and stay fun. They can also tell fantastic stories, just like reading a book or watching TV, and the more and more realistic in vision games are becoming, it just becomes easier with every game to feel more immersed in the universe. What would you, or do you, study at college? I'm going for zoology. Have you ever had, or wanted, a pet ferret? Oh my god in Heaven, yes. They are so damn cute; when Sara was here and we were in PetSmart for something, I actually started tearing up and squealing because of how GODDAMN PRECIOUS THEY WERE, like they all came up to the glass pawing at us, and watching them play was one of the cutest things I've ever seen. The only thing holding me back from getting one is the fact I know they are veeery messy and require a lot of care. Is there anything you find undeserving of the hype it received? Eh, don't feel like thinking about this. In other words, idk and idc. Do you think it’s better to label yourself than be labelled? Who cares, honestly. Don't restrain yourself with a label, and what others see in you and you following along with it solely because of that is naive. What’s something you do a lot? Over-evaluate anything and everything, because my OCD has been an absolute beast for the longest time. Are you currently on any other websites? Twitch and deviantART are open. Have you ever been told you naturally tilt your head a certain way? YES. I have done this since like... late middle school or earlier when the hair to the right of my part covered my eye. My mom points it out all the time, and no matter how many times I've tried to unlearn it, I can't do it. My head physically feels weird if I straighten it. When was the last time you laughed at someone? Some time earlier when I was watching Mark play GTA. Do you have any projects on the go right now? I started a massive YouTubers video with "High Hopes" over a month ago, and now I haven't touched it since the day I started lmao. Do you, or did you, really look forward to when you can finally move away? Eh... yes and no. I really question my ability to be that independent. What’s the worst tattoo you’ve ever seen? Who knows. What’s your favorite name ever? Alessandra. Are you a hat person? No. Have you ever forgotten how to do something simple? Ha, yeah. Have you ever been hit on by somebody way too old for you? Possibly an old family friend; he had this thing for being REALLY flirtatious with my older sister, and then me sometimes as I got older. We were never alone with him or anything, I mean he did it right in front of our mother and dad (he fucking loathed him because of it, probably still does), so we think he was joking? Have you ever climbed a chain-link fence? Yes. Have you ever had to run from the cops? No. Do you know anyone who is constantly humming? No? Are you afraid of any specific animals? I mean the usual insects and spiders, then there's the few more unusual ones such as SLUGS, MAGGOTS, larvae in general really, whale sharks, worms... probably others that aren't coming to me. Did anything comical happen to you today? No. Are you any good at fussball? Not especially. Who do you usually dream about? Jason is most often in the ones I actually remember. Yay. It made sense when I wasn't even beginning to heal, but now that I am and I STILL have them despite having fully and entirely moved on, I finally just asked my mother if it was normal, which apparently it is extremely common with even "recovered" PTSD victims. Shoulda asked/looked it up way sooner... Do you visit your dentist as often as you should? Yeah, thanks to Mom. She always ensures I stay updated with medical exams/appointments. I'm lucky as hell to have her here to keep my life straight. Do you still have a teddy bear? Maybe in the bags in the attic? Did you get any Girl Scout cookies this year? No. They don't come here. What’s your favorite fairytale? Bitch Shrek don't even @ me it's a fucking fairytale. Do you apologize when you know you should? Usually. In most cases, I feel overwhelming guilt otherwise. Do apologies really make anything better? Sometimes, to a degree. Can other people tell when you’re high? I've never been high. Do you own a birdcage? No. Have you ever planted anything? Yeah. Have you ever been blackmailed into doing anything? No. What eyeshadow color looks best on you? I only ever wear black. Can you tolerate small children? jfc no. In almost any situation. Even my niece and nephew, I can't be around them but for so long without getting burnt out or aggravated. What’s the stupidest behavior humans partake in? Holy sweet mother of The Lord God Almighty- Have you ever seriously considered suicide? Yeah. Did you ever hit anything while learning to drive? I like... immediately hit a curb lmao, and I STILL can't turn past them without the risk of running over it. It's one of the things that's holding me back from getting my license yet. Which movie’s musical score is truly memorable? UM, The Lion King??????? Hurry the FUCK up July. Which TV show theme music do you remember most? That '70s Show. Have you ever bounced any checks? I've never even used a check... How many speeding tickets have you been given? None. Not that I drive a lot. First kiss: quick, sloppy, and forgettable or passionate and memorable? It was fucking adorable and definitely memorable. I don't care how I feel about him now, that's a little event I'll always remember and cherish. Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Ron White, or Larry the Cable Guy? OH GOD what was that stand-up show with just them? I LOVED that back as a teen. I don't know who I liked most, but probably Jeff or Bill. I do know Ron was my least favorite, but he wasn't bad. How many bills do you pay online? I'm a 23-year-old "adult" who doesn't have bills. What’s the highest score you ever bowled? Hell if I remember. Nothing impressive. What’s your definition of a good, full breakfast? The "perfect" picture is like pancakes, scrambled cheesy eggs, and bacon. Whats your favorite flavor of jam? Of what I've tried, I only like grape. Are you a fast runner? I can't even TELL you the last time this bitch ran. At school was is/was the main reason you get/got in trouble? It was never severe trouble, just a quick word, but Jason because we'd always hug and usually just exchange a peck in-between going to classes; both were no-nos in our shit school, and the hall monitors or whatever would tell us not to if they saw, buuut we didn't listen. Hell, I think maybe hand-holding was against the rules too, which I know we didn't abide by if that was present. Do you make your views heard or do you hide in the background? It depends. I'd say heard more often, maybe? Do you have many friends from foreign countries? No. Can you open your mouth very wide? No. You know those things at the dentist where you have to bite down straight onto them for an impression of your molars? If the dentist was considerate enough, I'd use the one for older children instead of adult because I canNOT fully bite down on the normal ones without it being incredibly painful and I gag like mad to the point I inevitably tear up. What was the reason for your last x-ray? My knees were being checked with all the horrible pain I'd been dealing with from them. Did you have a rebellious phase growing up? Not for the sake of being rebellious, no. I only had such streaks (and still do) when I saw/see them appropriate to the situation. What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic. What is the most common name where you live? I dunno. Elizabeth, maybe? Actually just looked it up for the hell of it and what I found first says William (which I can absolutely believe) and Ava (which I question?). When something really scares you, what’s your immediate reaction? Jump, gasp, and either dash or stare at whatever the source is like a deer in headlights. Does it bother you to be around people who are smoking? Yes. How much time do you spend on the phone a day? Not long at all. I check Instagram usually at least once, and I don't follow a lot at all. Sometimes I check Facebook on my phone, but I usually do on my laptop now. That doesn't take very long, either. Your favorite song lyrics right now: "What I do know is come Judgment Day, I followed love; can you say the same?" from "Natural Born Sinner" by In This Moment. Do you think it’s possible for a rap song to make you cry? Ever heard "Runaway Love" by Ludacris & Mary J. Blige? Bitch you bet it makes me wanna cry. Name three books that have actually made you cry [really cry not a few tears]: I don't think I've ever gone beyond just a few tears, really. The Notebook probably was the hardest on me, though. Or Old Yeller. Idr. Is it easy to annoy you? Maybe. Do you watch musicals? If so, which is your favorite? If not, why not? No, because they make me cringe into a new dimension. Do you wear short shorts & tanktops in the summer? You will never see me in shorts, and I wear tank tops like... always. Always to bed, at least. Does the idea of having a baby at your age scare you? Having a baby period does. No fucking thanks. Do you remember who your best friend was in fourth grade? Quiata. Maybe still Brianna, idr. What band has the power to make you cry by splitting up? None. Is there anywhere in your house that you’re scared to be alone in? No. Any embarrassing/childish shows you secretly still enjoy watching? No. I don't watch TV period, but what I do like, BELIEVE THIS SHIT OR NOT, I'm not embarrassed. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital for a long period of time? I think the longest I was ever supposed to stay somewhere was three months, but that didn't actually happen. The longest I've actually been in a hospital was two weeks, give or take. Would you feel funny if you kissed somebody of the same sex? I'm not straight so obviously not. Name three things in your room that others probably don’t have in theirs: An iguana, a snake, and a rat. In the same general area lmao. What’s something you can cook or bake like a pro? Nothing. If you could pull off any hairstyle, what would it look like? A pixie cut. The kind with the shaved sides. Besides furniture, what’s the biggest thing in your bedroom? Uhhh my snake's cage? Do you diet and exercise regularly? I do a 16-hour fast daily. What’s something that you think is really cute? Even though I don't want kids, I can't see men being really vibrant and cute with babies or toddlers without just alksdfjioawer Would you rather donate time, blood, or money? Hm. I feel like ultimately, money would be most beneficial in the majority of cases? Can grills be sexy on a guy? They are incredibly unattractive on anyone. Are braces cute? Not particularly, but they're not like, unattractive. Unlike grills, they serve an actual purpose and aren't as obnoxious. Which of your friends makes you laugh the hardest? Girt. What brings out the worst in you? Being extremely stressed. I'm seriously snappy and irritable. Would you rather go to Canada or Mexico on vacation? Canada, probably. If you have glasses, do you get days when you don’t feel like wearing them? I don't think about it because I don't have a choice if I want to see. Do you ever wear hats indoors? I don't wear them period. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. Have you ever pledged money to a Kickstarter and it reached its goal? If so, did you get any fun extra stuff because you pledged a higher amount? No. What’s your favorite comic book/graphic novel? I don't have one. What’s something you can do without looking/with your eyes closed? Type. Is there a color combination that holds a significance to you? If so, what is the combination and what does it mean? No. What was the last thing you swore at? I don't know. If you use Facebook, do you ever look at the Memories page? Ugh no. Let's not remind myself of dark times or more specifically cringy ones. Do you have a drawer where you just throw some random stuff? No. What’s the funniest shirt that you own? I don't find any really funny. What is something you absolutely refuse to pay for? Ummm "fancy" clothing brands, to name one of the top contenders. Has a stray/runaway cat or a dog ever followed you home? If so, what did you do with it? Maybe a cat? I don't think so, though. Is there a stranger you expect to see every day? No. What is something you take pride in? My recovery. What is something you have a lot of experience in? I guess photography? What’s the biggest magnet on your fridge? I don't feel like going to check. Do you prefer things (movies, books, etc) that scare you or make you laugh? Entertainment media rarely actually scares me, but I prefer "scary" stuff. Were you born with naturally straight teeth? Well, I had to get braces, so I would assume not? Do you try not to take a lot of medicine or do you take it whenever? I avoid OTCs when I can; I'm on enough prescribed stuff. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? Sour. Do you check to make sure your ear phones are going in the right ear? No. Are fireworks illegal to buy where you live? The big ones, yes. People still go to Myrtle Beach on the SC side to buy them tho. Can you talk and work at the same time? No. Do you care more about yourself or more about others? This really depends on what the situation is... and my state of mind at the time. But I think usually myself? It used to be others, but I learned how unhealthy that can be. Do you find it easy to pass the time or do you get really bored? I get bored excruciatingly easily. How often do you re-watch/re-read things or are you more ‘once only’? I'm typically an "only once" person. What color ink do you prefer writing in? Black? Have you inherited any garments from your parents or grandparents? I don't think so. When was the last time you visited the doctor? Why did you go? Around a week ago to get my vitamin D re-checked. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yes. Who was the last non-relative you rode in a vehicle with? My VR coach. What movie are you looking forward to coming out? I will be seeing the live action TLK as fast as physically possible. What was the title of the last song you listened to? "God Hates Your Outfit" lmao. ^Who performs it? Jeffree Star. Can you do a backflip? No. Is your car newer than a 2004? I don't have my own car. Who is the lead singer of your favorite band? Ozzy Osbourne. How would you feel if you knew you were adopted? If I grew up knowing, I wouldn't feel much of anything new besides the fact I'd be grateful as hell someone chose me. If I just suddenly found out, I'd be inexplicably shocked and furious I was never told. Do you have freckles? No. Do you have dimples? Very clearly on my left cheek, and I have a super shallow one on the right that used to be more apparent. And I have back dimples. When was the last time you went fishing? When Sara was here in June last year. Do you know anyone with a pet that has your name? No. Do you expect to be married in the next 2 years? Most likely not. What was the last injury you received? Probably something from Roman playing. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yeah. Do you regret it? No. Do you ever get in weird moods and listen to music you normally hate? Very rarely I listen to pop from when I was a kid. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? Well, we "dated" for less than a day, but idk. I'd guess he's 27-ish now? Have you ever tried a colorful macaroon? No. What’s the last thing you made out of clay? An anatomical heart, I think? Did you learn to type through a computer program for kids? Not really for kids? We took them in middle school, and they weren't like, super kiddy. How many years were you homeschooled? I never was. What color is the tree outside your window? Uhhh probably green? I don't wanna get up and look. What do you take for pain? Advil/Ibuprofen. Which pharmacy do you use? Harris Teeter. What is this month’s calendar picture? Don't have a calendar. Is there a coffee shop in your town that’s better than Starbucks? N/A Who has the best personality on YouTube? Shane Dawson's is probably the most universally likable, I think. Have you ridden your bike yet this year? I don't have one anymore. What does your bike look like? N/A Who are your favorite kids that you’ve babysat? I babysat only once and hated it. Not the kid, just the duty. Who is your favorite cousin? I don't have a favorite. Does one side of your family live in another state? Both sides do. What states did your parents grow up in? New York and Ohio. What, if anything, are you severely allergic to? Severely, nothing. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to an insect? No, thankfully. Do you spill food on yourself while you eat? Not often. What is a topic you like to answer questions on the most? Meerkats or Mark. Have you ever seen a queen bee outside its hive? I have no clue. Which Clue (or Cluedo) character is your favorite? I was always Miss Scarlet because even as a kid I knew she was hot stuff. Do you watch any old films? If so, name a few of your favorites. I don't really watch movies period. But a few I like are The Outsiders, Old Yeller, Johnny Got His Gun, A Raisin In The Sun, Steel Magnolias... lots of others, really. Just not many are coming to mind immediately. Who are some of your classic era film actors and actresses, if any? Idk. Do you have any novelty ice cube trays? No. Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? The only ex who I'm aware even loved me in the first place is Jason, and I probably wouldn't say anything. Got a very strong feeling my PTSD would literally erupt like goddamn Saint Helen and I'd leave the situation in the blink of an eye. I don't love him anymore, and I don't even know if I'd believe him telling me that now, but I know damn well it would fuck with me. Would you ever work at a movie theater? It sure as hell wouldn't be my first pick. At least here, they're grossly underpaid and overworked. Do you have a phone charger in your car? If you have a specific type of cord. Do you live far from your parents? I live with my mom. Dad's like... 20-ish minutes away, if that? Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? Mom is always with me. Do you like pineapple on pizza? Never tried, never want to. I can just about guarantee I would positively loathe it. Sweet and savory don't mix with me. Do you like to hold hands? With my s/o and I'm comfortable with them, yeah. What’s a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? 13 Reasons Why. How many times have you been in love? Twice. Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? However old I was in the 7th grade. Last thing you cooked? Toaster strudels in the toaster oven. Movie you want to see? I wanna see the newest HTTYD soooo badly, but I doubt I'll get the chance while it's in theaters. Ever spent the night in a tent? Yeah. What do you call your grandparents? Grammy. The others are dead. Can you snap your fingers? Poorly with my right hand. Can you wink? Only with my right eye. How many keys do you carry with you? One. How well do you know the people you live with? Well, she's my mom and we're very close. Do you own any jerseys? No. Who knows your biggest secrets? Sara. Have you ever ran from your own parents? No. Are you afraid of clowns? No. Do you crack your knuckles? I physically can't, and besides, the sound is disgusting to me. Who IMed you on Facebook last? Girt. Could you see yourself dropping out of high school? I'm long out of high school, and I didn't. Do you have any personal fashion rules that revolve around your own preferences/body type (e.g., you never/always wear a certain color, sleeve type, or length of dress)? I don't wear shorts, tight shirts, dresses, skirts, crop tops, I wouldn't dare touch a romper, I highly doubt I'd wear yellow... just to name the ones that came to me immediately. Do you remember any celebrity whose style you admired when you were a teen? What do you think of that style now? YO Avril Lavigne was my emo model okay. She's still a queen. The last time you had a conflict with someone else, did you confront them about it or keep it to yourself? Do you think it would have been better or worse to do the opposite? Uhhh... I don't remember who this was. When you finally make a decision to do something you have been contemplating for a while, do you become highly anxious and motivated to do it right away? Yup. When you were a kid did you make up lies about your life to make yourself seem more interesting? Alternatively, did you know kids who told these stories and did you believe them? Bitch I made up that a talking wolf came to me and gave me animal powers and the rule was I could only tell three people. I was a fucking weird kid. I know others who have made things up, too. Can you think of a moment from your childhood that was totally “on brand” for you, or consistent with your adult personality? I'm sure there's something, but nothing's coming to me rn. Have you ever warned someone else about something, whether it was about a person in their life or an oncoming weather event? Yup, in numerous scenarios. So, is it "gif" with a hard G or soft G? I say both, but "jiff" more frequently. Is there a book or movie that you thought was about something completely different from what it actually ended up being about? What did you think it would be? Maybe... Is there an item that you bought on a whim, but now consider it a crucial part of your life and you would or have purchased it again? I have no clue.

[ablogthatishenceforthmine]

Happy Death Day Thoughts

- So going into this movie, I thought I was going to like it. I had heard good things about it. I also had this idea that it was written by a women, and that it would deal with feminist things. Both these things turned out to be wrong, and I have no idea where I got this impression. Maybe I was mixing it up with another film, but anyway, for about half of the film’s runtime I thought it was written by a women. But then it became clearer and clearer than it was written by a man.

- So these will mostly be negative thoughts and criticisms. So I did want to start with some things I liked. For the first 2/3, the movie was generally enjoyable. IT held my attention and I was never bored. There are some good funny moments, and a really enjoyed Tree, the protagonist. I think there is something there in her journey, but I think it could have been executed better. Jessica Rothe is really really great in it, and is probably the best thing about the film. She just brings this great energy, along with nailing the emotional stuff. I’ve seen her a bit in the new TV series Utopia, and I hope she keeps getting tasked in more things because I think she really has something.

- So, thinking this film was written by a women, I thought there were many tropes being set up in the beginning that were going to be subverted. In the beginning of the film, there is such attention paid to boys/men looking at Tree or making gross comments about her. And it seems like the film is setting up all these creepy men around her. There’s the professor she’s having an affair with, and the guy that is angry over her ignoring his texts after they’ve only gone on one date. And then there’s Carter, who we are lead to believe slept with Tree when she was very drunk, aka rape. But, the film doesn’t do anything interesting with these. In fact, it doesn’t seem to comment on any of these incidents, or this pattern at all. It sets up with pattern of men being creepy or inappropriate or objectifying towards Tree, and that’s it. It’s not a commentary on anything, it’s not a theme of the movie. It’s just seemingly there fore no reason, except for window dressing I guess.

- In fact, the film actually ends up saying that most of these creepy men aren’t so creepy after all. We find out that Carter didn’t rape Tree; he just let her crash in his dorm bc he was worried about her. We find out that Tim is gay, and thus, isn’t the creepy, entitled stalker the film painted him in the beginning. Gregory is still portrayed as a bad guy, but the film still minimizes his actions. The film paints his worst action as simply cheating on his wife, minimizing and not even acknowledging how predatory sleeping with one of this students is. His sin is just the cheating, not having an affair with a student. The film never acknowledges how sleeping with Tree is an abuse of power. Hell, it doesn’t even acknowledge the power dynamic inherent in this relationship at all. Tree and Gregory’s are framed as equally wrong in their affair, which ignores the power dynamic and inappropriateness of their relationship. This affair is just one of the examples of Tree being a bad person, ignoring the way that Gregory is taking advantage of her. So the film sets up all these creepy men in the beginning only to tell us that we were wrong about them, and hey, they’re not that bad after all.

- And now onto Carter, by least favorite part of the film, which is no fault of the actor, who is charming enough. So, Carter is the “nice guy.” At first, I thought the film was setting up the “nice guy” trope to subvert it later, but... that turned out not to be the case, and the film was playing this trope completely straight. I thought their had to be a twist with Carter. I thought he was going to be the killer. The film kept going out of it’s way to emphasize how his niceness, especially in ways that felt superficial.  I thought, yes, this film is going to be a commentary on the “nice guy” who is actually not so nice. But nope, the film is in just in love with how “nice” Carter is. Even though the things he does aren’t especially nice, but are just common decency. It’s a low bar to clear. And the film lauds Carter as so great, and the gold-standard of guys, for just being decent. It’s so sad. Men shouldn’t be praised and given prizes for being being misogynistic assholes. That should be a minimum requirement! Worse, the “nice” act is is praised most for is... not raping Tree. Like we are supposed to think he is such a great guy for not raping her. It’s infuriating. He shouldn’t get points and cheers for not being a rapist. By not raping her, he is showing the most basic of human decency, not this extraordinary kindness that the film frames it is. Anyway, the film would have been 500% better if Carter turned out to be the killed.

- Which brings me to who the real killer is: Tree’s roommate. I hate this reveal. And I hate the third act, which is just a mess and doesn’t make sense. The whole involvement of the serial killer thing is over the top and stupid. It’s completely unnecessary and adds nothing to the film except a red herrring. But back to Lori - god, what a terrible trope. She’s just a jealous psycho bitch. This trope is made even worse by the fact that Lori is Latino, so her character plays into both sexist and racist stereotypes. It’s just so disappointing, awful, and dumb. That the answer of this big mystery that drives the whole film is that a crazy, jealous women is trying to kill her roommate for sleeping with the professor she’s in love with. It’s so melodramatic. For the film to set up all these possible creepy male villains, only to say, that no, those guys aren’t actually bad, the real bad guy is this crazy, jealous bitch... it’s just so infuriating

- I saw sooooooo much potential in this film, and I’m really disappointed that it turned out the way it did. What could have been a really fun, feminist film just turned out to be a kinda sexist dud.

[psi-psina]

The Hounds of Baskerville read-through

Pt two, Dartmoor. [pt one]

(this post is a direct continuation of pt one)

Credits to Ariane DeVere once again for her transcripts.

They head to Dartmoor in silence, and begin by scouting out the area to get an idea of what they’re dealing with here. John points out Baskerville and Dewer’s Hollow, and Sherlock asks what the skull and crossbones are. A minefield? “Guess they’ve always been keen to keep people out.” …Clearly. 

Sherlock…I’m begging, why do you keep lining your hearts with explosives. 😩

They work at a distance from each other, Sherlock high above on the rocks, John alone on the ground. Playing on this thread in series 2 of a literal GULF separating the two of them, simultaneously calling back the mirror-case of The Hiker & The Driver, and foreshadowing Sherlock’s suicide off Bart’s.

Then they arrive at Cross Key’s Inn. On their way in they pass a small group of tourists gathered around young Fletcher as he goes about his business of selling them on the lurid idea of the Hound escaped from Baskerville. They share an awkward moment as Sherlock protectively adjusts his coat as they pass the group and John gives him the Eyes before looking away.

John and Sherlock enter the inn, and Fletcher dons the monster mask to excite the tourists as, elsewhere, Henry grimaces as he remembers during a session with Lousie. Another very thematic transition, as Fletcher’s lighthearted joke turns into Henry’s nightmare. Louise is positioned in this scene identically to John in 221B, in a mirror, dressed in matching colours:

Mirrors. :)

Henry (Sherlock) just says that that part of the memory doesn’t change. It’s always the same. But there’s something else now; two words. Liberty and In. Sherlock himself will complete this phrase for his mirror shortly: 

Liberty in death, the only true freedom.

Back at the inn now, finally some John action! John is taking care of practicalities and getting them a room at the bar as Sherlock loiters in the background eavesdropping. I love this scene sooooooo much.

Look at this:

…Cocks

sldkjfnas Look they are the ones who do this all the time I am just observing. Anyway, with all the nice background undertones about food and meat and.... . cocks creating a nice ambience (and the nice phallic beer taps?? lmao) as John get’s them a room,  it’s not hard to guess what...what might be on John’s mind at this prospect of sharing a room with Sherl. So of course, Gary warmly says he’s sorry they couldn’t do John and Sherlock a double room, and John starts to say (and perhaps remind himself) that things aren’t like that between them, but Gary just smiles knowingly and John gives it up and pays him. They mirror each other with their “Ta’s”, and while Gary’s back is turned John spots an invoice for the. . . . . . meat supplies.

The meat supplies for the gay owners of the vegetarian inn for feeding their (secret) ”hound” sdkjfnaksdf. John nicks the invoice for later.

Now, Billy and Gary are simple romantic mirrors for Sherlock and John, but MORE PERTINENTLY they are CLEARLY conduits for Messer's Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat, like...The curly Scottish bloke and his partner, the camp gay ginger! Not the culprits per se, just some blokes jumping on the opportunity to add some spice to their business! Playing on the local legend! Lovely amiable fellows who are nonetheless lying through their teeth about the ‘Hound’ right to the very end! The audacity! These shameless self-inserts! Also like, just more evidence that John is Steven’s self-insert and Sherlock is Mark’s asdkjf.

Anyway, John moves the subject to Baskerville (❤️) and the skull and crossbones out on the moor, hopefully asking Gary, “Pirates?”

MYCROFT: “My brother has the brain of a scientist or a philosopher and yet he elects to be a detective. What might we deduce about his heart?” JOHN: “I don’t know.” MYCROFT: “Neither do I. But initially, he wanted to be a pirate.”

It’s the skull and crossbones that baby Sherlock wears...when he plays pirates...

;___; JOHHHNNNNNNN. IT IS PIRATES!! He loves him!! He knows!! He just doesn’t know that he knows!! 😭 ALLOW HIMMMM!!!

But, nothing so sweet or soulful to be found at Baskerville. :( Right now, this shit IS a minefield. Gary says No no, it’s the Great Grimpen Minefield, home to the Baskerville (❤️) “testing site” that’s been going on so long unchecked that no one really knows what the hell’s in there anymore. :( Ugh, tell me about it. John takes this in and asks, a bit more warily, “Explosives?” And Gary warns him, oh no no, not just explosives, break into that heart and if you’re lucky, you just get blown up. In case you were planning a nice wee stroll. :(  And unfortunately, John is not one of the lucky ones. 

So…to start with this is literally ALL that is on John’s mind this entire season, he is completely obsessed and pining to DEATH because he is being tormented by some VERY strong misgivings and conflicted feelings about Sherlock which are sadly both sensible and very well founded:

SHERLOCK (rolling his eyes): Yes, if I wanted poetry, I’d read John’s emails to his girlfriends. Much funnier.

SHERLOCK: Yes, good. Skipping to the night that your dad was violently killed. Where did that happen?

SHERLOCK: ...and then there was the one with the spots; and then the one with the nose; and then ... who was after the boring teacher?

SHERLOCK: The shade of red echoes her lipstick – either an unconscious association or one that she’s deliberately trying to encourage. Either way, Miss Hooper has lurrrve on her mind. The fact that she’s serious about him is clear from the fact she’s giving him a gift at all. That would suggest long-term hopes, however forlorn...

And this is just a few examples from these two episodes, this isn’t even getting into the shit Sherlock does in series one that this is building off of, and this is also BEFORE Sherlock starts doing REALLY fucked up shit to him like attempting to drug him and gaslighting him in a lab experiment, or making John watch as he commits suicide off a building and allowing John to mourn for two whole years. Sherlock emotionally humiliates John, he humiliates other people in front of him, he manipulates him and is downright cruel to him at least once in basically every episode bar probably the first two, in which Sherlock more just takes him for granted and swings kinda relentlessly between pursuing and then rejecting him. John desperately wants Sherlock to be the the warm-hearted, caring, playful, funny (pirate ;_;) person he sometimes glimpses behind the facade, but he’s increasingly convinced he’s kidding himself, and just seeing what he wants to see because he’s besotted and lonely.

Anyway, Gary goes on to say that all that morbid Baskerville stuff buggers up tourism a bit, scares people off, so thank god for the demon Hound. God bless Henry and his hound from hell, made them a nice little industry off it. :) John then asks Gary if he’s ever seen the Hound and Gary says he hasn’t, but goes on to say that Fletcher has, motioning right at Sherlock, and by extension Fletcher who is standing just behind him in the entrance.

“He runs the walks, the monster walks.” “That’s handy. For trade.”

“Did wonders for Devon tourism.”

This gets Sherlock’s attention and he exits the inn to go after Fletcher. John is looking a bit distracted, eyes wandering around a bit as he gazes after Sherlock’s retreating figure with a rather amorous look…

God…But as Sherlock exits John’s line of vision a clear warning pops into focus:

Beware the Hound, John. Keep those wandering thoughts (and eyes) in check. Don’t want to get savaged. :(

Young Billy, the camp Sherlock mirror to John’s Gary, appears behind the bar and he and Gary start bantering their Hound (the cheek!!). John looks down and smiles to himself at their easy intimacy. Billy teases Gary about his snoring then asks John, “Is your’s a snorer?” And John immediately asks if they have any food. Crisps? Anything? It’s not like all the scenarios running through his head at the idea of sharing a room with his beau wasn’t bad enough, now he’s thinking about Sherlock softly snoring...in his arms…ugh that one made him hungry. He gets a drink to wash his chips down with (presuming he can get any...he never has much luck with food), since he’s halfway through a stout when he joins Sherlock outside. Needs a stiff drink after…all that.

Back with Sherlock, he takes a gamble on Fletcher being a gambler, he gets into ‘disguise’ and approaches Fletcher as a skeptical but intrigued tourist, attempting a blasé demeanour but just coming off as awkward as he tries to broach it, like he’s a bit scared Fletcher might actually have something. Fletcher gets very cagey and Sherlock asks if he has any proof which is enough to scare Fletcher off, until John appears and Sherlock turns it all into a game, which Fletcher can’t resist. He pulls out his phone and shows Sherlock a pic of an ordinary dog, which Sherlock sneers at, and taunts “Sorry John, I win.” Then Fletcher starts going on about the hollow, much like Henry was in 221B, but Sherlock still remains unconvinced. That is, until Fletcher tells them a Ghost Story, and pulls out a plaster cast of a large paw print. Sherlock is spooked now, and shies away from it a bit, eyeing it resentfully as he’s obliged to pay John. John takes another swig of beer as he eyes off Fletcher, and happily takes Sherlock’s money.

Approaching Baskerville, we are bombarded with signs signalling danger and secrecy, dogs roaming around, and men with guns. Baskerville has some strong parallels to Sherrinford, another top secret "facility” cum heart-dungeon that’s home to an escaped mayhem-causing monster that Sherlock has to confront. Sherrinford? Baskerville 2.0 tbh. Sherlock uses Mycroft’s ID to get them inside, which is absolute nonsense because Mycroft’s face is clearly on the ID lmao. Mycroft, of course, has full access to Baskerville (❤️) and “all areas” because he’s that aspect of Sherlock; The Clever One, the brain without a heart, the iceman persona, the detached puzzle solver, order, rationality, Mr. Caring-is-not-an-advantage etc. And this is the guy who’s In Charge. For fuck’s sake, Sherlock. Thank god he starts to reject alla that nonsense in The Sign of Three.

Anyway, John is anxious about all this, and quips

JOHN: Caught in five minutes. “Oh, hi, we just thought we’d come and have a wander round your top secret weapons base.” “Really? Great! Come in – kettle’s just boiled.” That’s if we don’t get shot.

John (rightly) does not anticipate any hospitality in Sherlock’s ‘ole heart, and is rather worried they might just get shot.

They drive on in and hop out of the car both seeming a bit trepidatious and are swiftly met by Corporal Lyons, who is a bit flustered by their presence and immediately asks if they’re “in trouble”. Because Baskerville (❤️) just doesn’t get inspected you see. It just isn’t done. John’s eyes wander over the attractive young Corporal and he swiftly pulls rank, getting them inside easily as a contrite Lyons scuttles to obey and give them the ~full tour~ and Sherlock is unable to completely hide his appreciation for his…Captain John Watson.

They go inside and Lyons takes them underground into the main lab. Sherlock asks Lyons about the animals they keep down here and gets all ominous about it as the ‘monsters’ inside Baskerville mill all around the lab. 

“Phone Lestrade! Tell him there’s an escaped rabbit!”

FLUFFY FRIENDS. I like the way they frame the monkey’s and rabbits to look monstrous, really adds to the utter absurdity of it all. As the boys look around, Frankland exits the gas chamber and approaches them, all smiles and affability, hidden in plain sight, just like Moriarty.

FRANKLAND: Ah, new faces, how nice. Careful you don’t get stuck here, though. I only came to fix a tap!

SHERLOCK: James Moriarty is for hire. PROSECUTING BARRISTER: A tradesman? SHERLOCK: Yes. PROSECUTING BARRISTER: But not the sort who’d fix your heating. SHERLOCK: No, the sort who’d plant a bomb or stage an assassination, but I’m sure he’d make a pretty decent job of your boiler.

Lol. Frankland (Moriarty) only came to Baskerville (❤️) to fix a ‘leak’ but then…he got stuck in there…and now he’s a full blown virus 😩 Frankland gets some ominous villain treatment as he retreats and John then asks Lyons what it is that they actually do in this place;

LYONS: I thought you’d know, sir, this being an inspection. JOHN: Well, I’m not an expert, am I?

Lyons dodges John’s questions by acting like he should already know all that, then answers as imprecisely as possible. They head further on into Baskerville, now entering a lab in which they meet one Doctor Stapleton, another John mirror and one of my favourite instances of John’s bisexual coding lol. She’s another Doctor, same physical type, fair-haired, wearing a button-down cardigan and has a young daughter.

Sherlock asks what her role at Baskerville is, to which she snorts in amusement and says she’s not free to say, to which Sherlock reacts rather strongly?

Like even John is bewildered. Why do you suggest she remains that way Sherlock, hmm? Hmm? I have no idea if this is just a coincidence, but the phrasing along with Sherlock’s response just stuck out to me, especially since these are both Mark’s episodes.

She then says

STAPLETON: I have a lot of fingers in a lot of pies. I like to mix things up – genes, mostly; now and again, actual fingers. SHERLOCK: Stapleton. Knew I knew your name. STAPLETON: Doubt it.

This quip about Stapleton’s (= John’s) name happens right after she ambiguously says she “likes to mix things up”. Genes mostly but also, actual fingers. Has a rather, wide field, you might say. And she’s (required to be) very secretive (private) about it. 

And then we get to the crux of the matter, Sherlock quips dramatically about coincidence then holds up his moleskin on which he’s written…Bluebell.

In the end, Sherlock breaks into Baskerville to find out why Bluebell had to die.

SHERLOCK: Why did Bluebell have to die, Doctor Stapleton? JOHN: The rabbit? SHERLOCK: Disappeared from inside a locked hutch, which was always suggestive. JOHN: The rabbit? SHERLOCK: Clearly an inside job. STAPLETON: Oh, you reckon. SHERLOCK: Why? Because it glowed in the dark?

“Why did I have to die, John?” CLEARLY AN INSIDE JOB. OH YOU RECKON. Sherlock’s halfway there, but we'll return to this later on, as this isn’t pertinent until John speaks to Stapleton after he’s drugged. This is just set-up for that. For now, Sherlock looks at his watch and hightails it outta there with a very indignant and confused John on his heels.

JOHN: Did we just break into a military base to investigate a rabbit?

Well…………….yeah. You did. :(

Elsewhere, the ‘security breach’ slowly makes it’s way to Mycroft who apparently receives word of this ~national security breach~ via text message and literally just rolls his eyes at his phone and sends Sherlock a text. Like, I’m laughing my ass off, did people really ever think this show was ‘realistic’. It’s NONSENSE. No one but Mycroft is involved or even notified because this is all a dumb heart-metaphor, which is also why the only action Mycroft takes is to send down Sherlock’s ‘handler’ to look after him lmao. The only thing they have ever cared about are their dumb metaphors (that I love! So much!). Sherlock just laughs at the text and says Mycroft’s getting sloppy (has he ever NOT been though…this is the question) as they rush toward the elevator, in which they conveniently bump into Frankland again. Back on ground level, they run into the stern and impressive Major Barrymore, who is quite outraged that Sherlock has staged an inspection.

BARRYMORE: The whole point of Baskerville (❤️) was to eliminate this kind of bureaucratic nonsense... SHERLOCK: I’m so sorry, Major. BARRYMORE: Inspections?! SHERLOCK: New policy. Can’t remain unmonitored forever. Goodness knows what you’d get up to.

“The whole point of Baskerville (❤️) was to eliminate this kind of bureaucratic nonsense...” Like...is this some meta-fictional yelling on Mark’s part about the heartrooms or what :/ And like, I get it, the heartrooms etc WERE no doubt intended to subvert the ‘bureaucratic nonsense’ that would inevitably swamp the first gay Holmes adaptation and allow them to tell the story they wanted to tell relatively undetected, but I’m with Sherlock on this one lmao. These fuckers have been running around unmonitored for TOO LONG and they can’t keep getting away with it! Enough is enough! Um, anyway, they’re interrupted as Lyons sets the heart-alarms off despite the intruders being like, right there with them, and just says ‘ID unauthorised’. Sherlock hands over Mycroft’s ID and just as Barrymore is about to skewer them, Frankland intervenes and is able to persuade Barrymore that Sherlock is in fact Mycroft Holmes (I guess. Since Mycroft is basically just The Brain anyway), and get them off the hook. This scene is a clusterfuck to me and one of the few where I can’t really tell if there’s anything going on because there’s no context and I can’t stand watching it because of the alarms. Like the scene with Jaqui, I feel like it’s mostly just setup for the second trip to Baskerville.

Frankland walks them out and seeks to ingratiate himself with them and insert himself into the investigation although Sherlock is clearly still on edge. He gushes about the hat, saying Sherlock’s almost unrecognisable without it (tell me about it) as Sherlock crankily says that stupid hat wasn’t his hat. (I take it anyone reading this is familiar with the meaning of the hat, but if you haven’t seen it the tjlce video explains it well). He then compliments John on his blog, “the pink thing” and “that one about The Aluminium Crutch”*[1] and with the mention of THAT debacle Sherlock abruptly changes the subject. Frankland says he knew Henry’s dad better than Henry himself and that he had all sorts of “mad theories” about Baskerville (❤️) but was nonetheless a good friend. He gives Sherlock his number, and says to give him a call if he can help with Henry.

Frankland throws some shade at Stapleton after they joke about killing Sherlock again and then they part ways. As soon as they’re alone, John immediately asks Sherlock what all that about the rabbit was, and Sherlock doesn’t answer. He smirks to himself knowingly, then flips his collar up and pulls his coat protectively around himself (in my opinion). His acts of defensiveness are so tiny, man, it breaks my heart. John, (pining to DEATH!) already wound up from being led down this rabbit hole blind, blurts out

JOHN: Oh, please, can we not do this, this time. SHERLOCK: Do what? JOHN: You, being all…mysterious with your, cheekbones, ’n turning your coat collar up so you look cool. SHERLOCK: I don’t do that! JOHN: Yeah you do.

John is simultaneously endeared and exasperated by this behaviour, but mostly he’s just dying of frustration with all his own pent up desires for his friend.

But Sherlock doesn’t really take well to stuff like this, because he think’s John’s straight. And he hates himself, so obviously he’s never gonna see affection in being teased like this (at least, certainly not the kind he wants) by a ‘mate’ with whom he’s secretly in love. I’m quite sure all he see’s here is the blokey prodding, y’know; posh boy public school with your cheekbones and high collar. A joke. A laugh. It grates at him. These micro-misunderstandings? Death.

The sexual tension continues as they sit in the car together, making awkward eye-contact and immediately looking away from each other before John brings up Bluebell again. Sherlock speculates that Jaqui made Bluebell glow with a fluorescent gene and concludes that as we know she performs “secret experiments” on bunnies, the question is now whether she’s been “working on something deadlier than a bluebell”. As we know, the answer to that question is…no. So John makes a joke.

“To be fair that is quite a wide field.”

John cracks a bi joke RIGHT THERE…AT Sherlock…he’s flirting at him again! Twice in less than five minutes! Sherlock is stumped and perhaps kinda suspicious of another joke at his expense and John just looks away and smirks to himself. I am sorry but I love this so much, John is just like, I’ve had enough of this mysterious asshole it’s MY turn to be a cryptic bitch for once! Aksjndf.

Likes to mix things up….has quite a wide field…dis bisexuelle coding, Mark! ❤️

They arrive at Henry’s house and there is a pertinent moment here that’s been deleted from the episode (perhaps because it’s too obvious), but the script snippet is included in The Sherlock Chronicles:

Sherlock asks John for his money back while they wait for Henry to answer the door, and John rebuffs him, claiming Sherlock owes him. >.< You can see Sherlock is kinda crabby when they cut to him as Henry opens the door:

Uh...tense. They head inside and John looks around, quite surprised, and asks Henry a bit tactlessly,

And this is Sherlock’s reaction:

Hooo boy. TENSE.

In the kitchen, Sherlock helps himself to Henry’s sugar as Henry tells them about the words he remembers, Liberty In, and Sherlock supplies the complete phrase. Henry asks “What now then?” and Sherlock supplies them with The Plan, as he tries to drink his sweetened coffee, which he’s having some trouble swallowing. :(

It’s not to his taste! He just doesn’t do coffee ok.

SHERLOCK: We take you back out onto the moor. See if anything attacks you.

John laughs and acts peeved about Sherlock’s recklessness and Sherlock snaps at him quietly. Got any better ideas? He concludes that if there is a monster out there, the only thing to do is find out where it lives. Time to face his fears at the scene of the crime.

*[1] - writemeastoryofsolitude’s meta “The Mystery of The Aluminium Crutch, or How Sherlock Holmes Fell in Love” has a lot of great insight’s about this particular blog post, I haven’t read it in years and from what I remember I certainly wouldn’t parse it like that myself, but it gives you a pretty good idea. :)

tagging any interested parties again :) @sarahthecoat @impossibleleaf @northstargrassmaiden @devoursjohnlock @gosherlocked @love-in-mind-palace @221bloodnun, @johnlockiseternal, @tjlcisthenewsexy etc

[butterflyinthewell]

Some of the autistic headcanon-validating stuff I saw in GOTG 2.

This post has no spoilers for major plot points, but I talk about funny scenes!

Drax saying the rocket vests hurt to wear. He has a hilarious line where he says he has sensitive nipples. Later on, he’s literally yelling in pain “ow, my nipples!” when he has to wear one for major plot reasons. It’s REALLY funny to me, but that’s only because I get the same way about my sensory issues.

Drax was so socially awkward and asking such inappropriate questions...and it was so fucking funny because it reminded me of myself. This movie plays up what a big, awkward teddy bear he can be and I loved every second of it.

Also, Drax acted kind of mean towards Mantis, but he wasn’t being maliciously mean. I think he was trying to replicate the banter between Quill and Rocket that takes place throughout the movie. It so reminds me of trying to take on the dynamic of a group and being confused about why it’s not funny when I say or do things that were funny when other people did it. Not sure if I’m explaining that feeling right or not, but it’s the story of my life. Drax nails this.

Baby Groot is a genuine baby-- kinda like a toddler who is a little bit smarter than a human toddler. He tries to eat a bug and Rocket is all “what’s in your mouth? Spit it out!”

I saw Groot stimming by twirling his twigs with his fingers and by putting his fingers in his mouth. 

I also watched him flip out when he’s wearing that cute little Ravager outfit-- he’s trying to pull it off like it feels really bad on his body. He also shows some aggression. I mean he has an instant meltdown and starts smacking Drax in the very beginning of the movie. It happens when Drax falls on the speakers playing the music he’s dancing to while that big tentacle creature fight is going on in the background. 

Groot is a little firecracker! When you see the context of the preview scene where he chases a guy and nabs him in his vines, you’ll cheer for him. It’s soooo satisfying.

I totally saw Groot seeming to struggle with retaining verbal instructions and with visual processing. There’s a part where he has to look at something with a symbol on it and he’s given something in the shape of that symbol, and he’s visibly struggling as he tries to match the symbol to the real thing. This comes up again with the “don’t touch this button” scene, but I won’t say more because that will spoil.

And Mantis, omg! She full on admits that social interaction is so awkward. She’s kinda like a mix of Drax and Groot because she’s so gentle and sweet, yet misreads social cues and jokes a lot.

She misses jokes and in one case it literally causes her to get bitten....by Rocket! Drax explains it was a prank and she laughs even though she got hurt. It’s awkward seeing her try so hard to please others because you can tell she doesn’t really want to laugh. I can’t say why because it will spoil majorly and I promised this post isn’t spoiling major plot points.

Mantis’ empathy powers are such a nice example of what affective hyperempathy is like. She can touch people and literally experience their feelings or cause them to experience her feelings. She touches Drax while he’s talking about a memory of his daughter and she breaks down crying from his grief. Later, she touches Gamora while she’s scared and it causes Gamora to freak out like “what did you do to me?”

Mantis being so awkward and sweet and being so drawn to being friends with Drax. I think it’s because the way he moves and talks reminds her of herself.

She seems to figure out that Drax isn’t intending to be mean to her and is just trying to fit in. That doesn’t make what Drax is doing right or okay, but the problem on his end is he’s socially clueless about his behavior being kinda crappy and nobody is explaining to him why it sounds mean.

Sooooooo autisic!Groot, autistic!Drax and now we have autistic!Mantis. 

*rubs autistic hands all over them*

[salmonherelikesfishpuns]

Talk about your friends? What are they like?

my friends……….. Though leohanan has already described them, lemme give my slice of toast (lemme live with my fake proverbs) on the matter. i will use the same names leohanan mentioned so you know who i am speaking of

There’s SOCCER MOM: I share my morning classes with her this semester, and let me tell you its the best! Her locker is stuffed to the brim so she occasionally uses mine to store things (cuz i store like one (1) thing in there). These things are usually cookies she has made for us friends. THIS ONE TIME SHE WOKE UP AT 5:00 IN THE MORNING TO MAKE PUMPKIN SPICE FILLED PANCAKES AND BOAUGHT SOME AND I HAD THEM IN THE MORNING, IT WAS THE BEST!!! She and the others also decorated my locker on my half birthday! AND SHE GOT ME A FIDGET CUBE! Even though she is barely a day older than I am, she is the ultimate soccer mom. She brings snacks (she brought us cut orange slices once. I ate the most cuz oranges), makes sure we don’t do idiotic things, stares at us with a concerned face when our conversations get weird, and even has good taste in music! She recently put purple dye in her hair, which is hard to notice from the bottom tips because it just makes it darker, but you can notice it from the top. She has cool piercings in her ears, and PLANS TO GET MORE, hopefully. A fan of 5sos to the end. I showed my mom a picture of her in our yearbook and she now has 100% faith in soccer mom’s ability to make sure i don’t do anything stupid.

VODKA AUNT: Lemme tell you about this goddess: her fashion sense is on point, her clothes are always the best, and her makeup is perfect. I know its a saying when someone says the mascara is so sharp it could kill a man, but in this case its true, actually it probably has. She wakes up 4 in the morning my people, FOUR,  so she can look this fabulous. She hosted a Oatmeal party at her place when i mentioned i never had any. She has 2 cats, and they THE CUTEST BABIES IN THE WORLD. I am almost sure most of her phone photos are of memes, she LOVES memes, and the good kind too. She shows me new ones all the time and has a couple saved on my computer too. She is also a hardcore 5sos fan, and has a very good taste in music. A fan of hamilton forever, she has all the songs on her phone and can sing EVERY WORD in them. Was disappointed when i did not know who the beatles were, and proceeded to show me their music. I think she was the first to hear of my pink man theory…….HER HAIR I FORGOT TO MENTION HER HAIR …im not good at descriptions but just know it is a majestic masterpiece, also she very huggable

LEOHANAN (real name: Abdurahman, however you spell it): so if anyone wants to blame a person for introducing me to tumblr, blame this being. She kinda short, but you don’t notice it half the time cuz she got a big presence. She refers to other people as edgy but me and coatrack agree that she is the real edge god who bestows edge upon other beings. She currently in the process of getting her shit together, and not procrastinating (sounds fake i know). She an orange belt in like karate. Refers to me as a smol being. Her all might icon is cool though. She boasted this one time about this non-existent ship she had a blog about that would be the first thing that popped when you wrote the name of the ship. She is my main source for explanations of things i do not know the meanings of or do not get on the internet. Sometimes she tells me i’d rather not know something and then i proceed to ask coatrack who says ti very bluntly. She cool though. We tried to make a scale for how gay our group of friends were but couldnt decide whether leohanan or coatrack would be opposite to soccer mom’s straightness in the scale. She is also my designated rant friend, and the one i complain to alot. She likes to think i can make friends with guys, which is very naive cuz no, dont get me started on that one. Ummmm……. I feel like im forgetting something…………ah whatever

COATRACK: ok so when i first got to know coatrack through my other friends, i thought she was a plain piece of bread, with no character whatsoever. Boy was i wrong. She has good taste in webcomics, actually she just got me into another one called Namesake, its good, check it out! The main reason i got to know her better was because she’s in my last two classes of the day. I need someone to share my suffering with in math, and i also talk to her in TOK and EE. extended essay class (ee) is never productive. This one time we ended up searching names for her character who loves plants, and it was the best. I have also discovered coatrack has a good taste in sweaters, today she was wearing this starry night one and it looked so cool. OH I FORGOT…. She cut her hair, it used to be decently long before, and i could make good braids out of it, but now its as short as velma’s from scooby doo! She looks so adorable! Most of the time it is me complaining about something happening in the shows she makes me watch, which sometimes gets leohanan a little salty. She knows the ins and outs of the internets, at least in comparison to my sorry ass. She makes really good characters, like fergus who loves plants and i am sure she will give an unworthy boyfriend to. She a furry, totally a furry, and is kinda weird sometimes, but she generally a good person….. I think.

SUCCESS COUSIN: she gonna hack the mainframe, better watch out. She;s the person who does everything on time and has a goal for success. She also very small, but her personality is very big. This one time (was it halloween?) she came to school in this lady bug cape which was so amazing. She had it since she was little and it used to be like really long, but now it tiny on her. Her, vodka aunt, and me usually spend ITGS class searching up random stuff we were curious about. We were discussing 3D printers this one time and a few days later she brought these fish things he had made to hold her headphones, they were REALLY fun to play with! She will be the one to bust the success nut. She is like CEO style cool, and should totally come to school one day wearing a suit.

MEME QUEEN SUPREME: sooooooo……… i don’t know her too well to be honest, actually i’ve vaguely met her once, at a skating rink. She friends with leohanan and coatrack, and write4laifu. She goes to a different school with write4laifu, but she is in our group chat. I’ve seen some of her computer drawing, and they ARE THE MOST AMAZING THINGS EVER. like they hardocre really good, especialy this one she has of a circle with like some cool shit going on in the middle, its one of her profile pics for something i think. Also she seems really funny, and her appreciation for memes is very respectable. I would complain to her and coatrack about sherlock, and if she can stand that, she must be a patient person.

WRITE4LAIFU: i dont know her that well either, but her love for voltron is enough to be evidence of her respectableness. She also has cats, which itself elevates her to goddess level. She sends me picture of her cats, and they CUTE, like pinch your cheeks and scratch your belly cute. Her tumblr consists mostly of voltron and b99 posts. I am currently watching voltron, and her love for klance is so cute. Also she’s read the percy jackson series and heroes of olympus too and noticed when i made a jason reference so excuse me but i think that is the BEST.

THERES A LOT I FORGOT TO MENTION BUT YOU GET THE IDEA