I would love to see Damian or tim on the show!
Weâll see what we can do to drag Tim out of his room (he received the latest version of Mage the Ascension recently and heâs been reading the rule book for days). As for Damian, weâll see if we can lure him here with oxblood soup!
- Dick -
(Also to the anon with the actual voiced podcast, sorry, we just type it all out :/ )On a side note Mod Else finished her competitive exam so that means more time to update the blog \o/
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[Podcast 7: Clubs, Relationships, and Jason Todd]
[âSpoiler Alert Podcastâ theme song plays. There are three taps of the mic before Stephanie clears her throat.]
[Stephanie:] âGoooood afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Spoiler Alert Podcast, your weekly dose of tea and drama from Gotham High. I am your host, Stephanie Brown! Joining me today, we have-â
[Jason:] âMe! The one and only, Jason Todd. Wink.â
[Stephanie:] â...Did you really just say âwinkâ?â
[Dick:] âI cringed. I cringed so badly.â
[Jason:] âShut the fuck up.â
[Dick:] âMake m-â
[Stephanie:] âOKAY! Hahah, can we get on with it? Thank you. So yes, joining me is Jason Todd and Dick Grayson.â
[Jason:] âYo.â
[Dick:] âHey!â
[Stephanie:] âAnd today, actually, this episode will be centered around an ask we got from an anonymous, sent from our Tumblr inbox. Thanks Anon!â
[Jason:] âAnd this anon actually wanted me to appear much more frequently and even though I absolutely, 100% annoy your usual hosts-â
[Stephanie:] âYEP.â
[Dick:] [at the same time with Stephanie] âYouâre not wrong.â
[Jason:] â-Iâll try to be a more frequent guest.â
[Stephanie:] âHe winked by the way. Thereâs no camera, dumbass, they canât hear you.â
[Jason:] âAh. I see this is already a lost cause.â
[Dick:] âThanks, Jay. Really.â
[Stephanie:] âRiiight. So, Anonymous asked, âWhat clubs are the Wayne kids in? Timâs in Paranormal, Jasonâs in Drama, what else? What about Cassandra and Damian? And Babs?â Heh, I love how they didnât mention Dick.â
[Jason snickers.]
[Dick:] âItâs okay, Iâll cry about it later.â
[Stephanie:] âAlso, âWhoâs dating who in the zoo and what do they identify as?â We will cover moooooost of what the ask.. Erm, asks us about.â
[Dick:] âWe actually asked them the question Anonâs ask was talking about. So these papers-â [sound of papers wiggling] âHave most of our answers.â
[Stephanie:] âYep!â
[Jason:] âStarting off with Tim then? Since his name was the first to be mentioned? Timâs answer: âHey, Anon. Thanks for the question. Iâm the captain of the Decathlon team, we actually have a match coming up next week at Brentwood Academy, so please make sure to support us.â You know, if I would have known his answer would literally just be an entire half page of advertisement for his clubs, I would done the same.â
[Dick:] âNo one wants to hear you go off about your Drama club, Jason.â
[Jason:] âItâs in the notes! THE NOTES!â [sound of papers shuffling] âAnd the ask! Anon asked!! And I shall give!â
[Dick:] âYou LITERALLY go on and on and on and on-â
[Stephanie:] âAnd ooon and ooon and ooon-â
[Dick:] âAnd on about it for hours when you get the chance.â
[Jason:] âSpeak for yourself, bitch, you do the same thing when someone asks you about Babs.â
[Stephanie:] âYou know, Iâm really gonna have to put âbeepâs on future eps on top of every curse word you say, Jay.â
[Jason:] âOh, so right now wonât count?â
[Stephanie:] âWait no, THATâS NOT WHAT I MEANT!â
[Jason:] [Taking a deep breath] âFUC-â [His mic gets turned off.]
[Stephanie:] âCan we continue? Please?â
[Jason:] [Heard by Dickâs mic.] âI was kidding, it was a prank, please put my mic back on.â
[Stephanie:] âIf you try to do that again, Iâm kicking you out of this podcast forever.â
[Thereâs a click sound.]
[Jason:] [Clearer, back on his mic] âWhatever, fine.â
[Dick:] â...Are you both done yet?â
[Stephanie:] [Sighs.] âYes.â
[Dick:] âIâm gonna keep going. Timâs also part of Band during school hours, he plays clarinet. But during after school, heâs in Symphony Orchestra with Cassandra, who plays violin. Jason, isnât he also in the Robotics club with you?â
[Jason:] âYeah, weâve been working on a robot together for next monthâs tournament. Weâre certain Jay Jr. can win the trophy.â
[Stephanie:] âYou called your robot âJay Jrâ?â
[Jason:] âItâs better than TD-1020. He was going for more Star Wars.â
[Dick:] âTD-1020?â
[Jason:] âTD for Tim Drake and 1020 âcause thereâs 26 letters in the alphabet and he put my name as numbers.â
[Dick:] âOkay, but thatâs cool.â
[Jason:] âI like Jay Jr better. But Iâm also in the Debate team. I like to yell and tell people that theyâre wrong.â
[Stephanie:] âAh yes, you do that really well.â
[Jason:] âRight? Whoâs next?â
[Stephanie:] âDamian. Heâs in a lot of clubs, actually, but sometimes he hangs out in some clubs for the hell of it. Like Journalism. Dickâs in there too.â
[Dick:] âNot that the Anon cares, or anything.â
[Jason:] âDick, could you get any more salty?â
[Stephanie snickers.]
[Dick:] âNah, I canât. Thatâs your specialty.â
[Jason:] âYeah, but like, today itâs like you woke up on the wrong side of the bed and stepped on a wet puddle with your sock.â
[Dick:] â...THEY CANCELLED MY DRAMA, OKAY?â [Despair.]
[Stephanie:] âAaand there it is.â
[Dick:] âWE WERE SO CLOSE. SO SO CLOSE. BENDITA WAS GONNA CHOOSE ROGELIO, I DONâT CARE WHAT YOU GUYS SAY-â
[Jason:] âOh my god, yeah, we know. We know, you tell us about it every time.â
[Stephanie:] âYou know, you never really say what drama it is.â
[Jason:] âSteph, please donât-â
[Dick:] âITâS FROM-â [his mic gets turned off, but he can till be heard to the side, picked up by Jasonâs mic.]
[Jason:] âThis is why we donât ask Dick why heâs not okay most of the time. Can we keep going? Please? Before I hit him with his own mic?â
[Stephanie:] âYeah. Damian. But the clubs heâs actually in is the Art Club, Astronomy, Sword Fighting, and sometimes he sneaks into Cooking Club, which Iâm actually part of.â
[Jason:] âThe best part is, he doesnât even go here. They accepted him into several clubs. I think he scares them.â
[Dickâs still being heard ranting about his drama in the background, but itâs not actually intelligible when Stephanie and Jason talk over him.]
[Stephanie:] âI thought he hacked his way into the system and put his name into the roster?â
[Jason:] âThat was at first, yeah. But you know, every time they tried to change the system and take him out, heâs always getting back in.â
[Stephanie:] âSo they gave in and gave the brat what he wanted, huh.â
[Jason:] âCareful, he might hear you.â
[Stephanie:] âGOOD. LET HIM. HE STOLE MY LUNCH.â
[Jason:] âWaffles, again?â
[Stephanie:] âAs if I eat anything else.â
[Jason:] âShould we add Dick back?â
[Dickâs just sobbing in the background now.]
[Stephanie:] âGive him a few seconds.â [She sounds farther from the mic.] âHere Dick, take a tissue.â
[Dick:] [Sounds farther too] âI just want them both to be happy.â
[Stephanie:] âI know, Dick.â
[Dick:] âAnd get married and give Bendita the best wedding.â
[Stephanie:] âI know, Dick. Pull yourself together, weâre on air right now.â
[Dick:] âOkay.â
[A click can be heard.]
[Stephanie:] âDickâs back.â
[Dick:] [sniffles] âHey.â
[Jason:] â...Are you good, dude?â
[Dick:] âYeah, yeah. Whereâd you guys leave off?â
[Stephanie:] âWe left off with Damian. We were gonna do Babs next.â
[Dick:] âRight, okay. So sheâs not in many clubs. Sheâs in the Writing club and the Programming club, but sheâs saying that next year they probably wonât have a Programming club next year. Thereâs not many people that join anymore.â
[Jason:] âWeâve got lovely listeners here. You donât have to be tech savvy to learn how to program, right?â
[Dick:] âNope. She helps people who donât really know what theyâre doing. Itâs for everyone to learn. And itâs not too late to join!â
[Stephanie:] âMoving on. Weâve got Cass. Ah! Sheâs in the orchestra as first chair violin!â [She sounds chirpy.] âAnd sheâs doing so well! Sheâs also in cross country, but I think itâs more fun to watch her in ballet when she performs. She looks so so pretty.â
[Some silence from the boys.]
[Jason:] âStephanie, are you dating Cass?â
[A beat of silence.]
[Stephanie:] âNonsense. Sheâs my best friend!â
[Dick:] âUhh, Stephanie? You hesitated.â
[Jason:] âHoly shit, youâre dating Cassandra.â
[Stephanie:] âIâm not dating anyone! You canât prove tha!â
[Jason:] âITâS ALL OVER YOUR FACE!â
[Stephanie:] âARENâT YOU DATING ROY?â
[Jason:] âYouâre dating Cassandra, holy shit.â
[Dick:] âI always knew something was up between you both. Even Babs had suspicions.â
[Stephanie:] âIâm not! What about Jay, he never denied heâs dating Roy!â
[Jason:] âOh Iâm not. I mean Iâm bi, yeah, but Royâs like a brother.â
[Dick:] âI thought you were hanging out with that guy from Liverpool?â
[Jason:] âJohn Constantine? Yeah, why? He can hold his booze pretty well, âcourse.â
[Stephanie:] âAnd?â
[Jason:] ââAndâ what?â
[Stephanie:] âThatâs it?â
[Jason:] âYes? Aaand that heâs fun to hang out with? What, you think Iâm just gonna drop my pants for any guy cute guy or girl who comes along?â
[Some silence.]
[Dick:] âBut youâre single right now right?â
[Jason:] âYeah?â
[Stephanie:] âYOU HEARD IT HERE FOLKS, COME GET YAâLL JAY JUICE.â
[Dick:] âYou do realize thatâll just attract the attention of that girl from his fanclub? The one that snuck in our basement twice already?â
[Jason:] âKATHY IF YOU HEAR THIS, CEASE AND DESIST OR I WILL BE FORCED TO GET A FUCKING RESTRAINING ORDER I SWEAR-â
[Stephanie:] âJason, jesus, calm down.â
[Dick:] âYeah, besides restraining orders donât seem to do anything to them. Remember that guy with Cass?â
[Stephanie:] âAh. Yes. Andrew?â [Tone sounds cold.]
[Dick:] âYeah, him.â [Sounds like heâs highly unamused]
[Jason:] âAh right. He snuck in once and Titus almost bit his di-â
[Stephanie:] âAnywaaayâŚâ
[Dick:] âRight, weâre getting sidetracked, again.â
[Jason:] âWhat about Tim? So what, is he with Cassie S. or Kon or what?â
[Stephanie:] âJeezus, please. Thatâs like an entire podcast in itself, thereâs so much going on with that. But right now heâs with Kon.â
[Jason:] âSo what about you, Dick? If Stephanieâs in no relationship, then thereâs on point in talking about her.â
[Stephanie:] âThanks, asshole.â
[Dick:] âUhh, Babs and I are good.â
[Stephanie:] âAwesome, that wraps it up for Dickâs relationship.
[Dick:] âWai-â
[Jason:] âDaaaamianâs not really interested in any of this right now, honestly. I mean, heâs made new friends with a girl in his middle school.â
[Dick:] âMaps, right?â
[Stephanie:] âCute kid. Weird name. I know she listens to the podcast. Hi Maps! Hey, when you get here next year, join Orchestra, I know you play violin. Cassandraâs a great teacher. Sheâs amazing and talented and-â
[Jason:] [Whispers into the mic.] âAnd she says sheâs not dating her.â
[Stephanie:] âWhatâd you say?â
[Jason:] âI said you smell like vinegar.âÂ
[Stephanie:] [A beat of silence] â...No I donât?â
[Dick:] âSidetracked again, please. Plus he has Jon, but Jonâs still in elementary. But he is gonna promote to middle school, heâs so grown up now.â
[Jason:] âPlease donât cry again, seriously.â
[Stephanie:] âOookay I think Iâm just about to end this podcast, we went over our limit for today and Jason, weâre late to Drama.â
[Jason:] âOh shit.â
[Stephanie:] âAnyways, this podcast is brought to you by the ASB, the Associated Student Body. Theeeey sell hot cocoas in the mornings because itâs cold and they care about us.â
[Dick:] âAnd if you ask, they put little marshmallows in there!â
[Jason:] âThat and theyâre gonna be selling Sadie Hawkins Dance tickets soon, so make sure to save up for that.â
[Stephanie:] âAlso, weâd be more than happy to have guests for our podcast, such as Jason, just go on ahead and drop us an ask or a message, or drop little notes in our lockers to request someone, and weâll oblige.â
[Dick:] âAfter all, weâre a student-made podcast, so weâll student-give.â
[Jason:] âNice. And to the anon that requested me-â [a kiss sound] âThatâs for you.â
[Stephanie:] âYeck.â
[Dick:] âThis has been Dick Grayson-â
[Jason:] âJason, the Glorious, Todd-â
[Stephanie:] â-AND Stephanie Brown. As always, love and sparkles.â
[End of Episode 7.]
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[Heard in Gotham High School]
Tim: Jason, why are you always reading those old crappy classics?
Jason: Tim, the fact you call it 'crappy classics' means you don't even understand what makes a classic.
Tim: Enlighten me?
Jason: A novel is a classic not because it fits the idea of beauty of the time it was written, but because it breaks the codes! BREAKING THE RULES OF WRITING AND PRE-EXISTENT FORMS OF LITERATURE! And THEN it becomes a classic, because it merges with what people expect, redefining the public's expectations when reading something new!
Tim: ... And?
Jason: ...Big test next week.
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Announcement
As you may know, we try to have Questions and Answers sessions on Saturdays. Donât hesitate to hit the ask box, and weâll include your very own questions to the next Q/A episode!
đ Love and Sparkles! â¨
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Announcement
As you may know, we try to have Questions and Answers sessions on Saturdays. Donât hesitate to hit the ask box, and weâll include your very own questions to the next Q/A episode!
đ Love and Sparkles! â¨
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Podcast 6: Feeling Good During Fall and Winter
[âSpoiler Alert Podcastâ theme song plays. There are two feminine voices in the background. The conversation fades, there are three taps on the mic.]
[Stephanie:] âHello Gotham High School and welcome to Spoiler Alert! Iâm your host Stephanie Brown, and today, unfortunately, I wonât be joined by my usual co-host Dick Grayson, heâs actually too busy. Buuuut I am joined by the one and only CASSANDRA CAIN! Say hi, Cassâ
[Cassandra:] âHello, Cass.â
[Stephanie:] âFunny. So as you probably know, thereâs a veeeery big game coming and our boys are training a lot these days. Thankfully Iâm able to use a few minutes here to present you our podcast, but itâs quite wild for the cheerleaders too, as you may assume.â
[Cassandra:] âTheyâre going to Central City. Playing against the Cougars, next week. Saturday.â
[Stephanie:] âRight. That means for today, itâs a girls only show. I mean, for the hosts. Anyone can benefit the advice in this one, donât get me wrong.â
[Cassandra:] âEveryone can feel down and suffer from lack of light and warmth in Fall and Winter. Meaning you are welcome to stay, no matter your identity.â
[Stephanie:] âExactly. As you can suspect it, todayâs topic is about Self Love and how to feel better during these dark times. Even if summerâs over, along with its refreshing watermelons, autumnâs got its own little perks.
[Cassandra:] âLike Pumpkin Spice Latte.â
[Stephanie:] âYep. Looking at you, Jason.â
[Cassandra:] âSound of the rain? When the leaves go crack under our boots? Boots, actually.â
[Stephanie:] âMmm.. the leaves yes. Boots shopping?â
[Cassandra:] âJust wearing boots, too. Spending time with friends. In the mall? Itâs nice and warm.â
[Stephanie:] âJust staying inside where itâs cozy actually.â
[Cassandra:] âWith a nice cup of tea?â
[Stephanie:] âYes, and cocoa if tea isnât what you like. Thereâs plenty of good things in Fall and Winter. Not to mention the snow and the unspeakable joy of throwing snowballs straight into peopleâs faces. But what to do when youâre feeling low nonetheless? Letâs get down to business an-â
[Cassandra:]Â [In song.] â... To de-feat the Cou-gars?â
[Stephanie:] [Chuckling] âYou had to quote Disney, huh? But no, to get into the heart of the matter!â
[Cassandra:] [Sounds like sheâs smiling.] âToday we picked four main things that wonât cost too much. Most of us are students and can be hard to follow advice when itâs too expensive.â
[Stephanie:] âYeah, not everyone is a Wayne, sadly. But the first point may or may not involve getting some supplies, but usually you can manage without buying anything.â
[Cassandra:] âYes! Art therapy is very popular. Creating is good for our mood. Grab a pen, some pencils, colors, yarn, whatever you have or want, and do something creative. Paint, draw, doodle, just have fun. It doesnât have to be nice or good looking, you just have to have fun!â
[Stephanie:] âActually, pretty sure that cooking can be included in that point. Except if your name is Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne or Tim Drake, in which case itâs just living dangerously.â
[Cassandra:] âCalling them out, Steph? Theyâll get revenge. You and I know that.â
[Stephanie:] âThey can bring it on, this is a free podcast! FREEDOM OF SPEECH!â
[Cassandra:] [Really laughing this time] âHeheh. That only protects your speech, not from the boys.â
[Stephanie:] âIâll face the problem when I get to it.â
[Cassandra:] [Snorts] âBut yes, cooking, especially since itâll be good for you to eat a balanced meal.â
[Stephanie:] âDonât just throw a snack in the microwave, or cereals in a bowl. Donât be a Dick! Make something. Start small. Maybe a smoothie or something, if youâre uncomfortable with the stove and oven. But make it yourself. Itâs less expensive, usually healthier, and way better in the long run.â
[Cassandra:]Â âAnd fulfilling!â
[Stephanie:] âAnd once you master the basics you can begin to improvise. Add stuff, cook with new ingredients,... Make heart-shaped wafflesâŚâ [happy sighs] âI just want to wake up some day to a tray of heart waffles covered in chocolate, maybe a rose next to the plate. Romance tip, get your significant other heart waffles.â
[Cassandra:] [With a very neutral tone] âSomeday, maybe, who knows?â
[Stephanie:] âAh, but I got distracted, my bad, my bad. Where were weâŚ.â [Shuffling paper noise] âAh right, here. Planting something.â
[Cassandra:] âTaking care of a plant is very relaxing. Donât know why? It helps to have a tiny bit of nature inside. Especially in Gotham. And you can grow herbs to cook. Bonus points.â
[Stephanie:] âOk Iâll be honest, Iâm terrible with plants, BUT I got a workaround.â
[Cassandra:] âYou do?â
[Stephanie:] âFake flowers. Expensive ones though, not the cheap plastic ones. I got a few ones, mostly made out of fabric, and I switch between the different sets to maintain the illusion itâs fresh flowers. If you donât look too closely, itâs alright.â
[Cassandra:] âSo the parsley I got youâŚ?â
[Stephanie:] âThe one you named Peanut? Dead, sorry. So so sorry, I didnât want to tell you!â
[Cassandra:] âNext time Iâll just get you a scarf like everyone else.â
[Stephanie:] âPLEASE NO!!â [Silence] âI mean⌠I already got 12 scarves thanks to Dick and Tim and Babs and other friends, I donât even wear a scarf most of the time.â
[Cassandra:] âFine. Mittens itâll be then. Which leads us to the next point, go outside. Get fresh air.â
[Stephanie:] âGet ready to go outside, too. Donât just make two steps outside with dumb sweatpants and a lazy bun, get ready! Always get out of the house like youâd like a potential date to see you for the first time. Not all out, but pretty enough and comfortable. Put on some makeup too. Nothing much, but if youâre feeling low, thereâs nothing compared to putting on some lipstick to see it bring the life back to your face.â
[Cassandra:] âI thought that was the blush powderâs job.â
[Stephanie:] âOr the blush powder, yeah. Any of those. Also for our male listeners, never underestimate the power of a good concealer. Donât be shy and get some. Itâll cover for all your long nights spent studying. Or anything else, really.â
[Cassandra:] âI thought the makeup topic was for another week?â
[Stephanie:] âItâs never too early for concealer, Cass. Just make sure you got the right tone. Erm⌠Oh, right. If you donât know what to put as clothes to get out, stick to the basics.â
[Cassandra:] âBlack?? But we said..â
[Stephanie:] âNo no, I know what we said, get some colors. Sooooooo⌠WEAR THE RED AND GOLD!!! GO BATS GO!!â
[Cassandra:] âBut at this time of the year be prepared to be mistaken with a Gryffindor student.â
[Stephanie:] âWhatâs wrong with that?â
[Cassandra:] âSome of us prefer the other houses. Not me, obviously, but you maybe. Or the boys. Especially Damian. He really enjoys being sorted in Slytherin.â
[Stephanie:] âOk Iâll give you that. But you got to admit that at least itâs easy to get decent clothes, you just have to gather your Gotham High School merch- Oh god, wait.â
[Cassandra:] âWhat?â
[Stephanie:] âWeâre talking about Harry Potter and Tim isnât ev-â
[A phone dings. Thereâs some noise as Steph fishes for it]
[Stephanie:] "Oh god, it's Tim."
[Cassandra:] "What did he say?"
[Stephanie:] "'Tell them about my Dumbledore theory.' No, I'm not gonna. Goodbye Timothy."
[Sound of her phone being placed down.]
[Cassandra:]"But you know he'll try to-" [A phone dings] "Text me."
[Stephanie:] "Don't do what he says!"
[Cassandra:] "He's threatening. He'll come here to crash your podcast."
[Stephanie:] âPlease no. Tim if you hear us, donât. Seriously donât.â
[Cassandra:] âHeâs probably already practically here or something, Stephanie.â
[Stephanie:] âOk letâs finish this before he comes then. The last thing you probably heard it a thousand of times, but just turn off your phone and computer, and take a bit of time to just breathe.â
[Cassandra:] âMeditation. Itâs called meditation. It helps lower the heart rate, and to put things in perspective. Makes people happier too.â
[Stephanie:] âIt doesnât have to be hours long, just one or two minutes are already enough. Weâll⌠Talk about it in depth in another podc-
[Sound of a door being slammed open. A scream on Stephâs side]Â
[Tim:] "LET ME TELL THEM ABOUT MY THEORY STEPH, COME ON!"
[Cassandra:] âNO! TIM GO!â
[Stephanie:] âAnd thatâs a topic for another tiMELOVEANDSPARKLES!!â
[End of Episode 6]
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[Podcast Ep 5: Halloween party summary]
[âSpoiler Alert Podcastâ theme song plays. There are three taps of the mic before Steph clears her throat. Thereâs Dick humming a bit.]
[Stephanie:] âHello Gotham High School and welcome on Spoiler Alert! Iâm your host Stephanie Brown.â
[Dick:] âAnd Iâm your co-host, Dick Grayson! Today, weâll tell you the events that unfolded during the 30th night of October when, of course, the Wayne Halloween party took place. This year was a bit... wild..â
[Stephanie:] âThatâs an absolute understatement. But then again, every year is wild.
[Dick:] âYeah but this year we had brand new events! Like when Tim sta-â
[Stephanie:] âNo no, keep that for later. The big stuff for the end, we gotta keep our followers on the edge of their seat, right?â
[Dick:] âRight!â [The sound of glass being filled with water] âOf course, Jay put on his famous party mix, the one with all the remixes?â
[Stephanie:] âYeah, there was Baby shark metal.â
[Dick:] âShady Bop.â
[Stephanie:] âMoskau! Iâm not sure who showed him that song, but it was blasted at least three times during the party. The remix. And the original song once.â
[Dick:] âListen at least he impressed us with the insane choreographyâ
[Stephanie:] âI donât even know how he could follow, pretty sure it was at least set on 1.25 speed.â
[Dick:] âSteph, letâs be real, what song wasnât on 1.25 speed? I mean itâs Jayâ
[Stephanie:] âYeah, true, Iâll give you that. Still, it was impressive. But of course he had to play the Spooky Scary Skeleton. And Thrillerâ
[Dick:] âIt was the right time of the year, after all. And we of course had MitchiriNeko as the opening song.â
[Stephanie:] âJust like every time.â
[Dick:] âOk but, you gotta admit that his playlists are always really fit for parties.â
[Stephanie:] âYeah, no, Iâm pretty sure whatever ridiculous song gets played, itâs gonna be lit either way. I think I saw him crowd surfing at some point? When was it? I got the feeling it was on the remix of Cartoon Heroes?â
[Dick:] âYeah, I was talking with him and before I could even process what was happening, he was gone. It was like he was a dead body and they were passing him along.
[Stephanie:] âJesus, Dick.â
[Dick:] âWhat? It looked like it, you know? All Iâm saying is, it was wild and you never know whatâs gonna happen.â
[Stephanie:] [Chuckles] âOkay, Iâll give you that. It always happens anyway. But thatâs⌠Normal, for a party where Jay is, honestly.â
[Dick:] âYeah. Anyways Steeeeph?â
[Stephanie:] âDiiiick?â
[Dick:] âA little birdy told me you danced with Cass and Cass only?â
[Stephanie:] âWHAT? No! Who? Was it Damian? He was supposed to be asleep!!â
[Dick:] âItâs Damian, what did you expect? I saw a glimpse of the pictures and videos he gathered, and let me tell you, he got sooooo much blackmailâŚâ
[Stephanie:] âIf he says anything that he saw happen, Iâm gonna personally expose him right here on air about him and Ma-â
[Dickâs phone dings.]
[Dick:] âItâs from Damian.â [Obvious heâs reading it.] ââNot another word, Brown.ââ
[Stephanie:] [Snorts] âWell then I guess we have an agreement, little birdy. Oooooh did he get the video of that girl doing the handstand?â
[Dick:] âYEAH! With John pouring the punch in her mouth at the same time? Iâm pretty sure she drank like 6 cups! Everyone went insane after that!â
[Stephanie:] âI donât recall Jay being around to see that though?â
[Dick:] âHe went to the bathroom, he got so mad he missed it! But hey, he saw the video. Now heâs trying to find either John or that girl to learn how to do it. He tried with just the video, but he canât seem to get it right. Thatâs probably because Roy is messing with him and changes the pace practically every five secondsâ
[Stephanie:] âI saw it, like, in person when she was performing it, and just, holy shit? But yet again, the foreign students are crazy.â
[Dick:] âLet this be a lesson to never get yourself added into the Black List, otherwise youâll miss all the good fun.â
[Stephanie:] âThe foreign students look like they know each other pretty well, though?â
[Dick:] âFrom what I got they were together in a boarding school.â
[Stephanie:] âDidnât someone break their arm at some point?â
[Dick:] âYeah, the Batson boy? I think he tried the handstand but lost his balance.â
[Stephanie:] âThankfully, thatâs the only incident that happened.â
[Dick:] âYeah, and nothing was broken this year, so thatâs a plus.â
[Stephanie:] âAh but some guys from the Black List tried to come. Andrew, who tried to hit on Kory again, and Kathy? She tried to sneak in through the garden, right?â
[Dick:] âYeah, the self-proclaimed president of Jasonâs fanclub.â
[Stephanie:] âShe reaaaaaally needs to stop with that. And with the Talk, add the little trademark sign right after that. Talkâ˘.â
[Dick:] âGod the Talkâ˘. Iâm⌠not gonna even go into detail about that, itâs too ridiculous.â
[Stephanie:] âDamian said you were smooching with Babs in a closet?â
[Dick:] âDamian, close your eyes! And it wasnât a closet, it was the kitchen.â
[Stephanie:] âOoooooh kinky.â
[Dick:] âStop wiggling your eyebrows, Steph.â
[Stephanie:] âBut Bart deeeeefinitely kissed Jaime in a closet. I know because I went to get my purse and they were right there.â
[Dick:] âAt least it wasnât in one of our rooms. Not sure who, I think someone tried to hit on Bruce. I heard that this morning while coming to schoolâ
[Stephanie:] âSomeo- WHAT?â
[Dick:] âYeah, same reaction, honestly.â
[Stephanie:] âI⌠Really donât want to know.â
[Dick:] âListen I didnât stop to learn more about it, and I donât plan to. Like, ever.â
[Stephanie:] âLetâs just forget that, ok?â
[Dick:] âYeah, letâs. On the other hand⌠Tim.â
[Stephanie:] âTim.â
[Dick:] âOk so you guys probably know that Tim usually doesnât go to parties. Like, at all.â
[Stephanie:] âToo busy with his rpg parties. You know Iâve seen him prepare the scenario once, for Vampire the Masquerade? Itâs so much work, I had no ideaâ
[Dick:] âYeah, thereâs a lot of subplots and politics in that game, and Tim likes to make it extra difficult to challenge his players.â
[Stephanie:] âI think he took advantage of the games once to make them solve math problems for him.â
[Dick:] âAnything for that A, right?â
[Stephanie:] âRight. But, Tim. The Halloween party.â
[Dickâs phone dings again.]
[Dick:] âItâs Tim. âSteph, no.ââ
[Stephanie:] âSteph YES!â
[Dick:] âRight. So Tim actually came to the party, which is an event in itself.â
[Stephanie:] âIt surprised everyone. But thatâs not the best. Thatâs soooo not the best.â
[Dick:] âI wouldnât say the best butâŚâ
[Stephanie:] âOh come on, it was⌠Something.â
[Dick:] âAs usual, someone spiked the punch. But this time it was really sweet, so quite deceitful. And Tim drank quite some before noticing he was getting tipsy.â
[Stephanie:] âWasted.â
[Dick:] â... Ok, maybe more drunk than tipsy.â
[Stephanie:] âAaaaaaaaaandâŚâ
[Dick:] âAnd he kissed three persons. Including Kon, that girl from his rpg club, and someone else we couldnât identify yet.â
[Stephanie:] âYet. But Babs is on it, sheâs trying to figure out who this is. I know sheâll find out. She will, she has to!!â
[Dick:] âWhat if she canât?â
[Stephanie:] âThen my whole life would have been nothing but a lie, Â and I donât know how Iâll cope knowing that.â
[Dick:] âPoor poor Steph. But those were the main events during the party. Weâll soon answer the questions and answers, but first, we both need a break.â
[Stephanie:] âLike to check on Babs, ask if she got anything.â
[Dick:] âIf you keep bothering her every half hour sheâll never have anything, Steph.â
[Stephanie:] "You dare underestimate the force that is Barbara Gordon, pleb? She will! She has to! In fact, let me go check up on her right now."
[The sound of someone taking off their headphones and standing. Stephanie's voice becoming much quieter until it can't be heard.]
[Dick:] "Weeell folks. That's the end of this segment for the Wayne Halloween Party. Stay tuned because after this short break we'll be answering your questions!"
[Stephanie's voice sounds like she's far] "DIIIICK!"
[Dick:] "Oh boy."
[End of Ep.]
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[Podcast Ep 4: Q/A 2.0]
[âSpoiler Alert Podcastâ theme song plays. Thereâs a yawn on Stephanieâs side.]
[Stephanie:] âGood-morning students and lovely listeners. It is currentlyâŚâ
[Dick:] âAround 10 am.â
[Stephanie:] âYes. Around that. As you can tell, we sound mighty tired.â
[Dick:] âThatâs because we did not sleep. At all.â
[Stephanie:] âEehh yep. Weâre still in Arkham Asylum, waiting for breakfast to heat up and well, why not do a podcast for ten minutes while we wait?â
[Dick:] âAn excellent idea, absolutely.â
[Stephanie:] âSo, erm, after the end of the last one, we immediately went to the solarium and-â
[Dick:] âWait no, Steph donât continue, thereâs a question for that.â
[Stephanie:] âOh, right right. So anyways, like Dick said earlier, we didnât sleep at all. Weeee stayed up all night doing whatever.â
[Jason:] [In the background] âWe partied like thereâs no tomorrow.â
[Damian:] [Next to Dick] âThatâs what you always do, Todd.â
[Jason:] âI came here for a good time, not a long time, Damian.â
[Stephanie:] âOkay. Shut up. Where was I? Right, we uhh. We stayed up, played some games too. At some point there was⌠booze involved?â
[Dick:] âI mean with Jason here, thereâs always gonna be booze involved.â
[Jasonâs victory whoop can be heard.]
[Stephanie:] âOkay but playing hide-and-clap with booze was pretty fricken hilarious.â
[Dick:] âWe lost Tim three times. Three.â
[Damian:] âAt least Drake can find his way back on its own, unlike Todd and you.â
[Dick:] âDonât expose me on air, Damian!â
[Stephanie:] [Trying to do an imitation of Damian] âToo late, Grayson.â
[Tim:] [Closeby] âThat was bad.â
[Stephanie:] âI know. But letâs continue. We haaave some of this weekâs questions right here.â [a second of silence] âIâm wavinâ my phone, itâs in here. Dickâs got his phone too, heâs waving it-â
[Dick:] âI am.â
[Stephanie:] âHe has it there. Weâre ready to rock and roll. Will you do the honors, Dick?â
[Dick:] âQuestion one comes from an anonymous listener. âIs the Wayne Manor haunted?ââ
[Literally everyone at the same time, but Stephanie and Dickâs voices are more prominent:] âYes.â
[Dick:] ââAnd if so, do you have any experiences you wanna tell us?ââ
[Stephanie:] âWhat a fun question. But yes, the manor is haunted and even I donât live there, but I have a couple experiences.â
[Dick:] âCare to tell us one?â
[Stephanie:] âI was having a sleepover with Cassandra, whoâs actually here with us today. Sheâs just quiet. Say âheyâ Cass.â
[Cassandra, quietly in the back:] âHi.â
[Stephanie:] âHeh. So yeah, sleepover. And it was like three am in the morning and I wanted to get some hot cocoa for the two of us when I was walking down the hallway and saw a figure walk out of an open room. And it was dark, so I thought it was one of you guys, but when I kept walking closer, the figure turned out to be a little girl wearing a white dress.â
[Dick:] âI donât recall ever seeing a girl in a white dress? Much less see any of that in paintings around the manor?â
[Stephanie:] âI know, thatâs what I was thinking!â
[Dick:] âSo then what did you do?â
[Stephanie:]Â âI kept walking.â
[Dick:] âYou kept walking?â
[Stephanie:] âI mean, I wanted my hot cocoa, Dick. I kept walking and I didnât turn around and I thought to myself âif this girlâs gonna follow and kill me, can she at least have the decency to make sure I donât die in a dumb pose?ââ
[Dick:] âOh my god, Steph!â
[Stephanie:] âI donât want the cops to take photos with my face like-â [A beat of silence. Dick snorts.] â-that, you know?â
[Dick:] âFair enough, I suppose.â [He chuckles] âBut I still donât understand the little girl?â
[Unintelligible sound coming from Damian.]
[Stephanie:] âWhat?â
[Damian:] [Closer and easier to understand.] âI said, what if the little girl was just Drake coming out for another mug of his coffee.â
[Laughter coming from Jason.]
[Tim:] [To the side] âFunny, real funny.â
[Stephanie:] âWhat about the dress then? There was a white dress.â
[Damian:] âMaybe he had his bathrobe. Itâs a white one. Drake wears weird clothing when staying home anyway.â
[Stephanie laughs.]
[Dick:] âDid the girl say anything?â
[Stephanie:] âShe was looking for âMommy.ââ
[Everyone else:] âThatâs Tim.â
[More laughter from Stephanie. It sounds like sheâs turned away from the mic.]
[Tim:] âYou wonât be laughing when Iâve poisoned your coffee.â
[Jason:] âPlease do.â
[Dick:] âAnyone else? Experiences?â
[Jason:] âI know thereâs a cool ghost chillin in the library. I call him Carl. He says hi when I read there for more than two hours.â
[Damian:] âThatâs Fatherâs great-uncle, Graham.â
[Jason:] âWhatever, he looks like a Carl to me.â
[Cassandra:] [Quietly next to Stephanie:] âGhost cat.â
[Stephanie:] âOh right.â
[Dick:] âThereâs a ghost cat? How come I never saw that one?â
[Damian:] âYouâre obviously always way too busy texting the Gordon girl.â
[Cassandra:] âCan feel her sometimes brush on your leg.â
[Stephanie:] âOoh. Have you felt her?â
[Cassandra:] âYes. I call her Minnie.â
[Damian:] âThatâs great-grandmotherâs. Sheâs actually a âheâ and his nameâs Licorice.â
[Jason:] âWhatâs up with this family and food names, I swear.â
[Damian:] âI name all my pets with actual names. Blame Grayson. Heâs the one who called the turtle âNuggetâ.â
[Dick:] âHey, no one stopped me!â
[Stephanie:] âNext question! Weâre getting too off-topic, remind me never to have you all together in one episode again. We all know how this is gonna go down.â
[Damian and Jason:] âDeath.â
[Dick:] âWe already talked about it, and the answer is no. Now, the second question.â
[Stephanie:] âQuestion deux from a â@simphyunâ. Oh my god, yaâll are really putting your handles on the name portion?â
[Dick:] âSmart, smart.â
[Stephanie:] ââWhatâs a hotspot for a spooky date? Not really haunted or anything, and not the cemetery?ââ
[Jason:] âOh, I know.â
[Dick:] âYou donât date.â
[Jason:] âDoesnât mean I donât know where the best spots are. So, thereâs this hill next to the cemetery. Itâs not in the cemetery, itâs a bit more further, but itâs like a popular make-out point spot. Complete with a spooky tree too.â
[Dick:] âThatâs the best spot?â
[Jason:] âYou got a better one?â
[Dick:] âThe roofs?â
[Jason:] âThatâs not spooky. The only one whoâd get scared here is you.â
[Stephanie:] âOk, thereâs another question anyway. âDid you guys find anything, ghosts, spectres, while in Arkham?â by @MucousMembrane.â
[Dick:] âAh, as a matter of fact, we did.â
[Cassandra:] [In the background] âTim?â
[Tim:] [Rushing closer to the mic.] âI got evidence! Audio evidence!â
[Stephanie:] âOh boy.â [A bit of shuffling on her side.]
[Tim:] âHere! I had a spirit box session in the solarium.â
[Jason:] âHe watches one season of Buzzfeed Unsolved and suddenly heâs a ghostbuster.â
[Tim:] âSh!â
[He plays the recording. Thereâs just some static sound before Timâs voice can be heard:] âIs there anyone here with us?â
[Two seconds of silence before an unintelligible sound coming from the box is heard.]
[Tim:] âSee? Evidence! It said âtheâ.â
[Jason:] [Talking nearby] âIt just sounds like a fart, Tim.â
[Tim:] âYouâre a fart.â
[Dick:] âJay, donât stab him.â
[Stephanie:] âTim. Tim, we heard literally nothing but static.â
[Tim:] âThatâs not static! Itâs very clear, why canât you guys pay more attention?â
[Dick:] âWe are and well⌠Tim thatâs not very convincing.â
[Stephanie:] âAnywaaayy, for those who were with us last episode, we were excited to go into the solarium because of a secret room that may or may not exist. Aaaand it did!â [She sounds excited] âAaaaand we found a ritual chamber! For a satanic cult! WE DID IT!â [Sudden noise, like someone got up]
[Dick:] âAnd sheâs dancing.â [He snorts] âWe had a picnic on the altar.â
[Stephanie:] âAnd we used the ouija board Jason got us, of course.â
[Dick:] âNothing happened.â
[Stephanie:] âSadly.â [Sound of someone sitting back down.] âBut it was still fun!â
[Dick:] âI think breakfast is about to be done heating up soon. We have one more question. From an anonymous, âwhatâs the best/worst pick up line youâve heard? Halloween version, if there are any.ââ
[Cassandra:] [Quietly, she sounds far] âI got one.â
[Stephanie:] âYou do? Câmere.â [A second or two of silence.]
[Cassandra:] âAre you a ghost, Steph?â
[Stephanie:] âMe?â
[Cassandra:] âBecause youâre boo-tiful.â
[Stephanie:] âCass!â
[Dick:] âOh my god that was the cutest thing ever.â
[Jason:] [Far from the mic] âCassandra, youâre as sweet as candy, I can just eat you up.â
[Stephanie:] âHey! Find someone else to practice your pick up lines!â
[Damian:] [To the side] âGrayson, are you writing these down?â
[Dick:] âWhat? No? I donât know what youâre talking about.â
[Tim:] [Next to Dick] âI like you a skele-ton.â
[Stephanie:] âYouâre a total zom-bae.â
[Jason:] [Closer to the mic] âWonât you be-â [To the tune of Alicia Keys and Usherâs âMy Booâ] â-my boo?â
[Stephanie:] âThat was terrible.â
[Jason:] âYouâre terrible.â
[Damian:] âGrayson, you ARE writing these down!â
[Dick:] âNo Iâm not!â
[Tim:] âOh my god heâs gonna tell those to Babs.â
[Stephanie:] âThatâs not even a question.â
[Cassandra:] âIf you were a monster, youâd be Franken-fine.â
[Jason:] âJust slay me already, Cass.â
[Stephanie:] âYou are! He wrote it down!â
[Dick:] âLet me live!â
[Tim:] âYou know sheâs probably listening to the podcast.â
[Dick:] âIâŚâ [sigh]
[A phone chimes.]
[Stephanie:] âItâs Babs on the chat. She says youâre a dork.â
[Jason:] âYouâre a dork!â
[Dick:] âThaaaaatâs all we have for you this morning, folks. Please? Can we spare whatâs left of my dignity?â
[Stephanie:] [Snorts] âYou never had any to begin with.â
[Dick:] âFunny. Tune in on Thursday where weâll cover the events that will unfold during the Wayne Halloween party the night before!â
[Stephanie:] âAnd keep the questions rolling!â
[Dick:] âThis podcast, along with last nightâs podcast, was brought to you by Gotham Highâs very own Paranormal Club.â
[Stephanie:] âAgain, a very very big thank you to the Paranormal Club. Thank you for letting us use your equipment and helping us with the research. As always, love and-â
[Jason:] [Screaming, he sounds far away] âSparkles!â
[End of Episode 4.]
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[Podcast Ep 3: Haunted Hot Spots]
TW: Mentions of suicide. Please read at your own risk.
[âSpoiler Alert!â theme song plays, thereâs some side conversation that fades in.]
[Stephanie:] â...So then what was I supposed to do, stand there? Come on, you and I both know thatâs bullsh-â
[Dick:] [Clears his throat.] âSteph? Weâre on.â
[Stephanie:] âHuh? Oh, right right, sorry. Hello Gotham High School! I'm your host, Stephanie Brown and you're listening to Spoiler Alert! Iâm here today - well actually tonight, with my co-host Dick Grayson. Hey Dick!â
[Dick:] âHi Steph!â [It sounds obvious heâs smiling.] âWhat do we have in store for our lovely listeners, babe?â
[Stephanie:] [Snorts.] âAre you flirting with me?â
[Dick:] âWouldnât you like that, huh?â
[Stephanie:] [Gagging noises] âGross. Babs, do you hear him? Anyways, tonight, we actually have a special episode because weâll be talking about the three most haunted spots here in our very own Gotham City as a little celebration for Halloween month.â
[Dick:] âAh yes! Sit tight, grab your little teddy bears, drink your agua and weâll get right on it. Steph, would you like to start us off?â
[Paper shuffling, screaming in the background.]
[Stephanie:] âDonât mind that, thatâs just Damian and Tim having fun. But I would gladly start us off. So the first one on our list is Sionis Steel Mill. By the way, in no way are we telling you guys to go to these places, they are dangerous.â
[Dick:] âAnd very off-limits. Please donât break the law.â
[Stephanie:] âAlso a trigger warning for you guys. There are gonna be mentions of suicide in this episode, so if you donât wanna hear any of them, Iâd advise you to stop. So the steel mill was a factory located in the South Bank of Gotham. Had loading docks, it was surrounded by water and you could get there by a bridge. It ran in 1879 and employed lots of people.â
[Dick:] âSo you could say it was lively, it had plenty of employees to keep it running. Was it successful?â
[Stephanie:] âYes, it was.â
[Dick:] âSo then why was it shut down? I mean, yeah of course we all know why, it was a spooky story told from elementary school, but for those who donât know the story? Could you say what happened?â
[Stephanie:] âOf course. So from 1879, it was up and running and it was doing well up until in 1986 when the infamous Sionis Incident occurred. On a fine Gotham sunny day- which honestly isnât saying much- there was a school who had their field trip there. And while they were given the tour of the place, five students decided they wanted to sneak away from the group. They thought the place would be fun to explore, but it wasnât until they snuck into the boiling room. One of the boys fell into the big tub with the melted metal, pretty sure thereâs a name for that, and died. There were horrible screams, leading the others to panic as they couldnât save him.â
[Dick:] âJeez. So then what? Did they call for help or something?â
[Steph:] âSources say they were trying to find their way back to the group, but then they got lost. At some point, they were found dead in the cooling systems of the mill. This tragic accident forced Sionis to shut down his steel mill, being sued by the parents. He lost all his money with that, and some say he committed suicide in his office.â
[Dick:] âApparently heâs haunting the place too, like as a kind of protector? Trying to prevent more deaths, though, not really successful. Thereâs 37 or 38 disappearances reported since the mill had been closed, depending on the sources. But heâs not the dangerous one, obviously. It has been said that the group of teenagers appear to separate people.â
[Stephanie:] âOooh right right. Itâs said that they look really friendly, but all they do is to try to lure people to their inevitable deaths.â
[Dick:] âThere shouldnât be any worry, actually, as Sionis, before dying, nailed the boiling and cooling parts shut, but⌠well, up to 38 disappearances, like Dick said. Itâs not something you can take lightlyâ
[Stephanie:] âBut according to our sources, several people who made it out alive say that you can tell when itâs them. Theyâre way too friendly, and they usually appear at the same time as the engines start ⌠Well, the sound of the engines starting.â
[Dick:] âAnd when the teenagers appear, they always appear as the boys who want to show you what they found or the girls needing help to move something. But itâs always the same, to death.â
[Stephanie:] âSo this is a warning to you guys, we donât know whether or not itâs true, but we advise against visiting the place. We donât need anymore people disappearing. Whatâs next on the list, Dick?â
[Dick:] âThe second most haunted spot in Gotham isâŚâ [Drums his fingers near the mic] â... THE SUTHERLAND MANSION!â
[Stephanie:] [Whispers screams and lightly applauds] âAhh, ooohhh, spooky. Tell me, what makes it so haunted?â
[Dick:] âWell, you know, itâs that colonial style house in Old Gotham. Itâs quite far from the center, so you canât take the trolley to go there, you either have to walk or take a taxi. But itâs 200 years old, and it has a history quite tragic.â
[Stephanie:] âThen again, all the haunted spots have a tragic history. I donât think thereâs anything you can think up of that has a happy ending, now is there?â
[Dick:] â...No. Youâre right.. Wait, what about- Ah, no, nevermind. There was the kid and-â
[Stephanie:] [Snorts] âYou thought about the house with the ghost dog, didnât you?â
[Dick:] âI did, listen I have yet to encounter the ghost dog. I really wanna see a ghost good boy.â
[Stephanie:] [laughs] âDonât we all. Anyways, Matthew, married his wife Emily and they were very well off. Matthewâs father owned a mining company that was passed down to him when his father died. The house was finished in 1803 and they moved in around the same time Emily gave birth to their first kid, Loraine. Must be nice.â
[Dick:] âWhat, having a kid?â
[Stephanie:] âNo, being better off. I, too, would like something to be handed down and I would become instantly rich. That or I get a nice farm in a far off island.â
[Dick:] [Chuckles] âA surprise grandfather gifting it to you when he dies?â
[Stephanie:] âExactly!â
[Dick:] âHeh. Anyway, two years later, she gave birth to John, their baby boy, but he dies two months later because of an illness and Emily, out of grief, later kills herself by hanging.â
[Stephanie:] âSo much for a happy lifeâ [Thereâs an obnoxious noise of a candy wrapper being opened]
[Dick:] âSteph, weâre on air!â
[Stephanie:] âAnd Iâm hungry! The students can understand that, canât they?â
[Dick:] âOkay but weâre in the middle of a sad, tragic story and is that really the appropriate time to eat M&Ms?â
[Stephanie:] â...No. Sorry.â [Candy wrapper noises.] âOkay, there, put away, please, continue. So then what happened to uhhh, whatâs his name? Matthew? And Loraine?
[Dick:] âWell, Matthew turned to alcohol to cope. He hired two nannies to take care of Loraine. Apparently though, they abused her because, well, if your employerâs too busy to pay attention to whatever you do and youâre still getting paid, stuffâs gonna go down, right?â
[Stephanie:] âRight. Sheesh, and they just abuse her? He didnât know?â
[Dick:] âI would assume not. Because Loraine actually ends up killing them at age 13. And a few years later, she disappears entirely. And her father wouldnât find her body until three months later in a well. Finding himself alone, with everyone he cared for and loved dead, Matthew shoots himself on the head with a gun.â
[Stephanie:] âJeez⌠I got a question. How do we know about the nannies abusing Loraine?â
[Dick:] âWe actually have several journals left both by Loraine, and by a friend of the family, talking about the nannies and the tragedies the family encountered. That and how the mining company failed when Matthew turned to alcohol.â
[Stephanie:] [Candy wrapping noises] âHmm, ok. So I got the list of the most important phenomenons here⌠Let me check...â [paper shuffling noises] âHere. And donât say anything, weâre not in the middle of death and stuff anymore, can I just have my M&Ms?â
[Dick:] âYeah, yeah. Sharing is caring, Steph.â [More wrapper crinkly noises] âThaaank you. What do we have today, chief?â [Sound of candy being bitten]
[Stephanie:] [Snorts] âWhatâs this, an ASMR now? But.. Yeah, right. Letâs start with Matthew. Last to leave, first to be discussed. Apparently harmless, heâs said to wander in the kitchen and the study, and he got the gunshot visible in the back of his head, thought the face apparently would be intact.â
[Dick:] âHarmless? Just wandering?â
[Stephanie:] âLike heâs lost. That or heâs welcoming. A bit sad. Next, sometimes you can see Emilyâs corpse hanging where the chandelier would have been, in the main staircase. On the seventh step of the stairs, some people say they can feel something on their neck, maybe like the knot in the rope Emily used before jumping to her death.â
[Dick:] âWhile talking about harmless, it has been reported that the keys of the piano on the second floor can be seen playing without anyone being nearby to actually play. Emily liked to play, it has been confirmed by the letters. And Johnâs cries can be heard in the nursery.â
[Stephanie:] âWasnât he stillborn though?â
[Dick:] âNo no, died of an illness. Not stillborn.â
[Stephanie:] âCan stillborn baby ghosts cry?â
[Dick:] âI donât know. Iâm not an expert, itâs more Timâs thing.â
[Stephanie:] âTim, who we would like to thank, he did most of the research for us with his Paranormal Investigation club. Thanks guys!â
[Dick:] âYeah, thanks a lot!â
[Tim:] [Faint in the background] âYouâre welcome!â
[Dick snorts.]
[Stephanie:] âBut there arenât only harmless manifestations. The nannies roam the halls in the second floor in search for Loraine, or pretty much anyone around 13 to kill. That being said, thereâs an older Loraine that follows tall brown haired women that look like her nannies. Thereâs the usual voices and evil laughter every once in a while, but those the nannies are the most creepy ones, especially since they would sometimes run right through unfortunate trespassers.â
[Dick:] âThaaaaaaatâs⌠Yeah. I donât want to go there actually.â
[Stephanie:] âWhat? You donât wanna hear Emily play some badass piano? So the last spot weâre gonna be talking about today is arguably the most haunted place in Gotham: Arkham Asylum.â
[Cliche organ music playing.]
[Dick:] âIs that why you had your phone nearby? You were getting ready to play that?â
[Stephanie:] âFor effect! And yes, I was. It adds to the creepiness, okay?â
[Dick:] âOh yes. Iâm terrified.â
[Stephanie:] âShut up. But yeah, Arkham Asylum. Can you feel my excitement, Dick?â
[Dick:] âYeah, youâre shaking my hand, stop that. Folks, weâve got a treat for you all because weâre actually broadcasting from inside the asylum! Donât ask how we got in.â
[Stephanie:] âFor that, weâd like to thank Jason. Without him, we wouldnât be here.â
[Jason:] [In the background] âYou make me sound like Iâm your dad.â
[Stephanie:] âThatâs cause you are, Da-â
[Jason:] [In the background] âNot another step closer, Steph.â
[Stephanie laughs.]
[Dick:] âGross. But letâs get right on it, shall we? We donât have much time left anyway.
[Stephanie:] âRight, yes. Letâs dive in.â
[Dick:] âThe asylum was thought to be haunted since the big fire that happened in 1957.â
[Stephanie:] âA lot of inmates died, right?â
[Dick:] âYeah, and-â [Loud shouting in the background.] âDAMIAN, STOP CHASING TIMâ [Dickâs voice sounds like heâs turned away from the mic. Damian being vaguely heard in the background.] âI said no! You go back home right away if you keep doing that, let him chase ghosts.â
[A faint groan from Damian. Then, some silence]
[Stephanie:] âYeaaaaaaaaah ok so, for the ones who donât know about Arkham, it has four aisles, three floors and a basement. Right?â
[Dick:] âHm? Ah, yeah, yes. Erm⌠The Northeast one, donât go there. Not that itâs the most haunted or anything, but the floors are ready to collapse and we wouldnât want anyone to get hurt. But despite our best advice to NOT go, some of you will⌠like how weâre here⌠Weâre not the best role models. But just donât go in the Northeast aisle, seriously.â
[Stephanie:] âThe fire occurred in the Southeast aisle, where smoke can still be smelled. You can also often hear the screams of the trapped inmates.â
[Dick:] âThere are several places in the asylum where an architect can be seen, angry and carrying an axe, heâs kinda hostile. And when it isnât him, itâs the worker, beheaded by him, who tries to warn the visitors. The worker also doesnât have his hands anymore, so thatâs another characteristic. Those two are from the time the asylum was built, around 1900.â
[Stephanie:] âAmadeus Arkham built it for his mother, Elizabeth? Thatâs what Tim said. Sheâs thought to haunt the library, in the recreational area. According to some sources, Amadeus ends up killing her, while others say she died from an illness.â
[Dick:] âArkham is said to be most haunted because unlike the last two we mentioned, this place actually spikes up in activity in the month of October. Weâve already got some audio recordings of screams you can hear here as well as footsteps.â
[Stephanie:] âWhich we will post on our Twitter. Give us a follow, @spoileralert.â
[Dick:] âContinuing on. The recreational area is in the Northwest aisle with the kitchen and dining room. Not much to see there but itâs the fastest way to the Solariumâ [Thereâs neon and glitter in his voice when he says âsolariumâ]
[Stephanie:] âYESS! Thatâs where weâll go as soon as weâll be done with this podcast because, let me tell you, lovely listeners, itâs been said that thereâs a super secret room under the solarium.â
[Tim] [In the background:] âI could go with Jay and Damian while you finish and-â
[Dick:] âNO! Weâre all in this together, Steph and I wanna be there for when itâll be discovered!â
[Tim:] âOk ok fine, sheeeeesh.â
[Dick:] âWe have no real idea whatâs in there, but several documents Tim found indicate a mysterious sect in the asylum, so maybe their headquarters?â
[Stephanie:] âOr a ritual chamber! Maybe they worshipped Outer Gods!â
[Dick:] âSteph, it isnât Lovecraft, despite what Tim says, Cthulhu doesnât exist.â
[Tim:] âActually, Cthulhu isnât an Outer God but a Great Old One. Just sayinâ.â
[Dick:] âNot the point, Tim. But Steph, I highly doubt itâll be that exciting.â
[Stephanie:] âOh donât be a party killer like your father.â
[Dick:] âIâM NOT LIKE-â [Deep breath to calm down.] âErm. Sorry. Anyway. I think thatâs all we had to say about Arkham Asylum for now?â
[Stephanie:] âYep. Weâre also gonna be doing a seance in the secret room if it ever turns out that I was right about the ritual chamber.â
[Dick:] âOooor if it ever exists.â
[Stephanie:] âIf it doesnât, weâll just do a seance somewhere else.â
[Damian behind:] âOn Drakeâs dead body.â
[Tim:] [On the side.] âIâm finally gonna die??â
[Dick:] âNO STOP THAT. No oneâs gonna die!â
[Damian:] âTt.â
[Stephanie:] âI guess thatâs all we have for you today. Tonight. Whatever. Any last words?â
[Thereâs a bit of shuffling with the mic on Dickâs side.]
[Jason:] âYeah, go follow my instagram, my handle is @jaybirdtodd. Like my recent picture, fam.â
[Stephanie:] âOh my god.â
[Dick:] âIs that the one of you shirtless?â
[Jason:] [At the back.] âAbso-fuckin-lutely.â [Sound of fingers snapping. Most likely finger guns.]
[Stephanie:] âOkay weâll cut here. This has been Stephanie Brown.
[Dick:] âAnd Dick Grayson. Featuring Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, and Jason Todd. As always-â
[Stephanie:] âLove and sparkles.â
[End of Episode 3.]
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[Podcast Ep 2.2: Q/A]
[Click here for Ep 2.1]
[Stephanie:] âAaaand weâre back! Hello!â
[Dick:] âHow was your break?â [chuckles]
[Stephanie:] âVery much so needed.â [clears throat] âSo whatâd we have to do again?â
[Dick:] âWeâve got a couple questions submitted that we need to answer.â
[Stephanie:] âAahh, right. Letâs seeâŚâ [shuffling papers] âHere we are. Question one, âHi, I'm new to the school, just barely enrolled in last month and I was wondering what the 'Infamous Chandelier Incident' was? Curious, everyone seems to know about it. Sincerely, Ellie C.ââ
[Dick:] âWelcome to the school, Ellie! But I donât think youâd want to hear about-â
[Stephanie:] âOh, god yes. Okay, so- Dick donât look at me like that, the listeners want to relive the moment when the glorious Infamous Chandelier Incident occurred. So, last yearâs Halloween party, our favorite Dickie boy here, got a little too drunk-â
[Dick:] âI wasnât drunk!â
[Stephanie:] âOh right, sorry. Dick here got hammered and decided that the chandelier - right when you enter the front doors of the manor, thereâs a beautiful chandelier, and thatâs THE chandelier my buddy over here decided he wanted to, and I quote him on this, itâs on video, âswing in like Miley Cyrus in her Wrecking Ball videoâ.â
[Dick:] âSteph, please-â
[Stephanie:] âHang on Dick, you gotta let me finish this story. So, with the brilliance of the entire universe, Dick climbed on and swung onto the chandelier. Listen, he was about to strip naked like in the video, but we stopped him when he took off his shirt.â
[Dick:] [Muffled] âOh my god.â
[Stephanie:] âSo he swung and he was up there swinging back and forth like he was on a swing til, uh oh, he feels the chandelier lurch and it turns out, it couldnât handle his weight. And with one last swing, the chandelier gave out and he went flying forward, fabulous, and crashed on the staircase.â
[Dick:] âAnd, I just want this out there, that this wasnât one of my best moments.â
[Stephanie:] âWell, yeah, you broke your arm and you were in deep shit from Alfred.â
[Dick:] âWorst moments of my life. I was grounded for a good month. And I couldnât play for the team too, that was a huge blow.â
[Stephanie:] âYeah⌠BUT! Thereâs amazing footage floating about it and it made it to the school yearbook! Congrats!â
[Dick:] âNot exactly something to be proud of, but-â [sighs] âThanks. Next question?â
[Stephanie:] âNext question! From an anonymous, âI heard about the Robin Club?? Girls Can Be Robin Too Club? What's that all about?â"
[Dick:] âAh, thatâs a question for Stephanie! Sheâs the founder and the president!â
[Stephanie:] âRight, yeah! So, a backstory, thereâs a club here called the Robin Club, it was founded by your dad, Bruce Wayne, when he was here all the way back when the dinosaurs roamed. And basically, it was a club that was community service orientated, boys went around and helped out. They volunteered and stuff, basically like the boy scouts but without the badges. And it was a boys only club, which was dumb. And itâs still very much a club right now, itâs that old, but theyâre not very active. And two years ago when I was a freshman, I wanted to get in, but I couldnât because I donât have the dangly thing between my legs-â
[Dick:] âSteph. Gross.â
[Stephanie:] âYouâre the one to talk, Dangly Thing. Itâs your name isnât it? Anyway, I said âscrew this, Iâm gonna make my own clubâ and with seven other girls in support, we got it up and running. And now weâre twenty members. And anyone can join, boys, girls, whomever, itâs a club for all. Jayâs an honorary member.â
[Dick:] âHonorary?â
[Stephanie:] âHeâs not official as he doesnât exactly go to the meetings, but he helps out enough to become honorary.â
[Dick:] âCute.â
[Stephanie:] âRight? Next question if you please?â
[Dick:] âQuestion three, no name. âWhere can I join Dickâs⌠fanclub? ...Uhmm.â
[Stephanie:] âAh! Classroom 13-A, down the hall with the big pumpkin mural on the very left. And there's literally a big poster of Dick in front of the door, can't miss it."
[Dick:] â...Steph?â
[Stephanie:] âDonât worry about it.â
[Dick:] âToo late for that. Next question. Please.â
[Stephanie:] âFrom an Else, âWhatâs the best spot to hide from an angry Tetch?ââ
[Dick:] âThat is an excellent question for Jason, honestly. But, Steph, youâve had to avoid Principal Tetch a few times before, right? Whatâs the best spot?â
[Stephanie:] âHmmm...from experience, itâs the last place heâd ever find me. Or anyone⌠Ah, but see, if I say it out here, thereâs a chance heâll hear this and find out about it.â
[Dick:] âDang, youâre right⌠Tweet it though?â
[Stephanie:] âAbsolutely. DM me for spots, thereâs several actually. But Jayâs got his own top secret spots that Iâve yet to find out about.â
[Dick:] âI heard the vents were a good place.â
[Stephanie:] âAh, thatâs Damianâs spot. Keep away from the vents. We have time for one last question. Dick, will you do the honors?â
[Dick:] âFrom Ramona and the Timothy Drake Fanclub, âTim needs some rest, what can we offer him thatâs not coffee?â
[Stephanie:] âAh! A bat to the head! KNOCK HIM OUT! LET HIM SLEEP!â
[Dick:] âStephanie no, oh my god.â
[Stephanie:] âKidding, kidding, obviously. Cookies? Food? Laced with sleeping pills, he needs to REST.â
[Dick:] âHooow about water bottles, uhhh, I know the Student Body concession stand is open in the mornings now that itâs colder. Hot coco? Nice soup? Anything that isnât what Stephanie is saying?â
[Stephanie:] âWow, thanks? And give him a break too, donât smother him with all your love or whatever, heâs human too guys. Heâs not gonna bother with any of you, go ahead and @ me on that on Twitter, but Iâm saying now that he doesnât bother with anything else other than his grades.â
[Dick:] âErm, I think they got it, Steph-â
[Stephanie:] âTim is a very serious student. The only way to have him relax is actually to drag him to Jayâs parties and shove a shot in his mouth and after that heâll be a bit more chill.â
[Dick:] âTrue, he does relax a bit more after a shot. Okay but that doesnât mean weâre enforcing you to give him shots, please donât do that.â
[Stephanie:] âYeah. Thatâs why Timâs always on Jayâs âOKâ List for his parties. I mean, ALWAYS. Sometimes Dick is banned from it-â
[Dick:] âWhen heâs pissed off at me, but I sneak in anyway.â
[Stephanie:] âI know.â [A laugh] âJayâs always too busy to catch you there.â
[Dick:] âRight?â
[Stephanie:] âAnd I thiiiiink thatâs all the questions weâre able to answer for today. Sadly.â
[Dick:] âThereâs always next time, buddy. Donât worry. Remember, if you want to ask us questions, the box is always open for you to drop something in.â
[Stephanie:] âYep, literally just our lockers. Drop in your papers on the little slits, donât be shy now.â
[Dick:] âMake it a great day, Bats. This has been your hosts Dick Grayson andâŚâ
[Stephanie:] âStephanie Brown. As always, love and sparkles.â
[End of Episode 2.2.]
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[Podcast Ep 2.1: Wayne Halloween Party Information]
[âSpoiler Alert Podcastâ theme song plays. There are three taps of the mic before Steph clears her throat.]
[Stephanie:] âHello students of Gotham High School, and welcome to Spoiler Alert! I'm your host, Stephanie Brown, and I'm with my partner in crime...â
[Dick:] âDick Grayson! I hope youâve all had a lovely day, I know I always do. Steph? Did you have a nice day?â
[Stephanie:] âAhh, I got a D on my math test?â
[Dick:] âAw, Iâm sorry to hear that.â
[Stephanie:] âNo no, that was more than I thought Iâd get, todayâs a fantastic day!â
[Dick:] [A chuckle] âIâm certainly glad to hear that then. So, today we'll talk a bit about the next event to take place in Gotham, that you probably all already know about.â
[Stephanie:] âIndeed, I mean, itâs always the buzz around here, weâve got ten days left for it after all. But for those who donât know, the annual Wayne Halloween party is an event that occurs every year on every Halloween and everyone is invited.â
[Dick:] âYep, it always takes place at the manor, 1007 Mountain Drive, Gotham. Dress code is always in costume, thereâs no theme this year so youâre welcome to wear whatever costume you want. There are a few new rules to be followed this year, unlike the three previous ones. Itâs very new, but Alfred insisted to set those. Itâs really meant to make sure that no one will get hurt and to ensure that everyone has fun. Seriously, please donât break these, they are ALFREDâS.â
[Stephanie:] âI mean if anything, you still got the Black List, right? Itâs easy to add new people on it.â
[Dick:] âNot really fun though, I hate excluding people from events. But sometimes itâs necessary. At the moment, thereâs like 12 people on it, Iâm sure they all know who they are.â
[Stephanie:] âDick, care to tell us a little bit more about that list?â
[Dick:] âRight, but firstly itâs available on the public board at the entrance of the library. Please, if youâre not quite sure or if youâre paranoid that you might be on it you can always check that out.â
[Stephanie:] âWait so, thereâs already twelve people up on the list and itâs literally only been the fourth year youâre doing this. So, what does it take for your name to be added on it?â
[Dick:] âWell, the very first person to be put on the list tried to steal from the manor, so that was already a big no. But I mean, itâs general common sense, right? Donât swipe things when youâre in someoneâs house. Thatâs absolutely rude and very much so illegal and yes, we will not hesitate to call the cops.â
[Stephanie:] âYeesh. And thereâs the stalkers too, right? And we aaaaaall know who were talking about.â
[Dick:] âYeeeeeeep. Anyway, getting onto the actual new rules, but for those who donât know the current rules, Iâd be happy to refresh everyoneâs memories.â [Sound of paper being tapped on the desk] âOriginally, there were a few rules, set and made sure it was enforced, but because of the events of last yearâs party, a couple more have been added. But weâll go down the list. Numero uno, do not take off your shoes.â
[Stephanie:] âOh god, yes please, donât take them off. Last time wasâŚâ [gagging noise] âYep, donât, otherwise youâll be thrown out barefoot in the street.â
[Dick:] âSteph⌠I donât think weâd actually keep the shoes. But.. erm, yeah no. Number two, please avoid spilling blood on the carpets and the curtains. Obviously it goes for both real and fake blood. Heck, just avoid spilling anything on the carpets and curtains in general.â
[Stephanie:] âExcept if youâd like to get a very pissed off Alfred and in that case, have fun. Iâll make sure to bring flowers for your funeral.â
[Dick:] âAaaactually, the third rule, we, the children of Bruce Wayne, have added by ourselves this time, is do not, I repeat, DO NOT piss off Alfred. Heâs already doing a huge job to make sure weâll have a very cool party and this year heâs making cookies. A lot of cookies. That plus making sure the party is running smoothly, we donât want him to work even more than he needs to.â
[Stephanie:] âBless Alfred, that man is a saint.â
[Dick:] âI know. We love you Alfred. Fourth rule is donât throw up anywhere but the toilets. At worst, the sink. Sometimes things get a little crazy and yes, you feel the need to throw up, but please, do so in the toilet. Spare Alfred.â
[Stephanie:] âBleh, gross? But itâs totally better than on the floor or walls I guess. You told me something about sweets?â
[Dick:] âYeah, we got a bunch of specific sweets for vegans or other people following specific diets or who have allergies, like peanuts for example. Itâs all in different containers, labeled and everything, so if you can eat regular sweets, please donât take any of those. That is rule five, donât take the vegan sweets. Otherwise youâll probably be stabbed by Damian, that kid always has a sharp pencil somewhere. So this is already a forewarning and know that if you do take the risk, weâre not responsible for anything he does.â
[Stephanie:] âYeah, please be cautious. Heâs a bit extreme sometimes but itâs for the best in this specific case. Everyone wants to enjoy the party, that includes food and avoiding to call 911 for a stab wound.â
[Dick:] âMoving on to number six. As for those who went to previous parties, you may already know that weâve got a cow at the manor - well, not in the manor, but sheâs got a barn in the garden. Rule six is DONâT TIP OVER THE COW. LEAVE HER ALONE!â
[Stephanie:] âThat animal deserves to have a quiet evening. Whatâd you guys name her? Batcow?â
[Dick:] âYes, Damian named her Batcow. Donât laugh.â
[Stephanie:] [Laughs] âIs that rule number seven? Donât laugh at Batcow?â
[Dick:] [Some laughing] âIt may as well be. But moving on, the next rule⌠Thereâs a few designated party areas, which by the way doesnât include the barn, so for everyoneâs safety and for the comfort of the Wayne Family, please do not leave those areas. Surveillance and booby traps, courtesy of Jason, will be set up. Seriously, we donât want any of our rooms to be snooped in and messed up. Thatâs our private quarters, have some decency people.â
[Stephanie:] âUnlike last year.â
[Dick:] âCorrect, unlike last year. Thatâs one instant way to lead yourself on the Black List. Rule number eight, please make sure youâve got parent permission, or at least leave a note at your place to tell your folks where youâre at. Every year we always get cops showing up at our door because your parents canât find you, so please make sure tell them where youâre going. Leading to number nine, if you think you might crash at the manor for the night, take a bag of fresh clothes. Thereâs a designated room to keep everyoneâs stuff safe, so donât worry about theft.â
[Stephanie:] âYeah, no one wants to get breakfast with someone smelling like sweat and booze, thatâs disgusting. Bring fresh shirts and pants, guys. Hey, didnât you mention something about booze?â
[Dick:] âM hm, yep. Itâs right here.â [sound of paper being shuffled again] âNumber ten, do not, I repeat this with an utmost urge, do NOT bring booze. No booze, donât bring any, we donât want cops rolling up on our doors again because they catch intoxicated kids in the streets and tell them theyâve got it at our party.â
[Stephanie:] âBut we aaaall know Jayâs gonna bring some anyway.â
[Dick:] âI can neither agree or disagree with that statement, but what I will say is, he canât get any from the manor supply anymore. But yes, he does find booze from god knows where.â
[Stephanie:] âSometimes I really wonder where he finds it. But heâs a tomb, he doesnât spill anything. Itâs really annoying, I canât even get him to spill tea at any time.â
[Dick:] â...Steph he can most likely hear you.â
[Stephanie:] âAH! I mean⌠Itâs really nice to know someone doesnât spread rumors in the school, yep, really refreshing.â
[Dick:] âSuuuuuure, we all believe you. Totally. Thereâs a last rule, newly added too. As per the events of last year, do NOT climb on the chandelier and use it to swing-â
[Stephanie:] âAs we all know who did.â
[Three seconds of silence followed by Dick, clearing his throat, and Steph chuckling.]
[Dick:] â...Moving on, do not climb onto the roof and jump into the pool. Do not climb on anything that isnât meant to be climbed on as a matter of fact, because if this continues, weâre literally about to pass out forms and disclaimers to get you and your guardians to sign just so we can get angry parents out of our butts.â
[Stephanie:] âGod, seriously??â
[Dick:] âSeriously.â
[Stephanie:] âForms are the tickets to get in?â
[Dick:] âEXACTLY!â
[Some laughing from Stephanie.]
[Stephanie:] âThatâs ridiculous!â
[Dick:] âI know! So please abide by the rules and I know some of yaâll are gonna be âAaaahh screw the rules.â Donât bother coming then.â
[Stephanie:] [Unintelligible sound coming from her, she sounds far away] âFUCK THE RULES!â
[Dick:] âOh my god Steph please sit down, donât let Alfred hear you say that.â
[More unintelligible sounds coming from Stephanieâs end and she clears her throat.]
[Stephanie:] âHello.â
[Dick:] âGot that out of your system?â
[Stephanie:] â...Yep.â
[Dick:] â...Okay. Well, weâve got a couple questions weâve received from all our lovely listeners out there.â
[Stephanie:] âAaand we will answer those questions, riiiight after our break.â [Increases the speed of talking] âThis podcast was brought to you by the DramaClub,weneedmorepeopletojoinpleasejoinusOKAYIGOTTAGOUSETHEBATHROOM-â
[End of Episode 2.1. Thereâs elevator music being played.]
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[Podcast Ep 1: Introductions]
[âSpoiler Alert Podcastâ theme song plays. There are three taps of the mic before Steph clears her throat.]
[Stephanie:] âHello students of Gotham High School, this is your host, Stephanie Brown coming at you live in the middle, corner really, of the library because this is where we were able to do this. Right in front of me is the ever so lovelyâŚâ
[Dick:] âME! Dick!â
[Stephanie:] âAs you all know, Grayson. But for those who donât you are either new to this school or have been living under a rock. Full name, Richard Grayson, a senior, star quarterback for the Gotham Bats, member of the Journalism Club, this yearâs Homecoming King - congrats about that by the way, I voted for you.â
[Dick:] âAhah, thank you. You better have.â
[Stephanie:] âWatch it. And my regular co-host. Woo!â
[Some clapping.]
[Dick:] âAnd in front of me is the fabulous, amazing, gorgeous, flawlessâŚâ
[Some shuffling of the papers.]
[Dick:] âSteph Iâm not gonna read half a page of just adjectives about you.â
[Stephanie:] âCome on, I asked Cassandra to name some things about me! Just read it, sheâs listening!â
[Dick:] âIâm reading the next three, take it or leave it.â
[Stephanie:] [A sigh] âFine.â
[Dick:] âStephanie Brown, uhhh, fabulous, amazing, gorgeous, flawless, full of wits and charm, charismatic...am I reading your Tinder bio?â
[Stephanie:] âOh my god just continue.â
[Dick:] âAlright, alright. Junior, head cheerleader, president and creator of the âGirls Can Be Robin Tooâ Club, occasionally crashes the Cooking Club and is the Drama Club with Jason. How is that by the way?â
[Stephanie:] âPretty good, weâve been thinking about plays we could do for the Winter Showcases. Jayâs been heavy on doing Shakespeare and, well, the majority of the club didnât want that. Again. So heâs been salty ever since.â
[Dick:] âLetâs be real though, when is he never salty?â
[Stephanie:] âDick, heâs standing right behind you.â
[Dick:] âNO HEâS-â [Unintelligible voice. Laughter from Stephâs side.] âSteph that was mean.â
[Stephanie:] âBut it was funny.â [Some more laughter. It dies down and there is the sound of more shuffling papers.] âAaanyways, this podcast has been in talks for a while now, Iâve always wanted to make something like this and finally, I have someone to do it with so Iâm not talking here by myself like a-â
[Dick:] âIâm held here against my will, please, if you hear this, tell Babs I love her.â
[Stephanie:] âDick, I swear. Youâre being paid with zip-locs full of cereal.â
[Dick:] âWith no MILK.â
[Stephanie:] âYou agreed to the terms and conditions, Richard. Thatâs all that matters. Now youâre mine for as long as this podcast will run.â
[Dick:] âThere wasnât a legally abiding contract, Stephanie. I want to see my lawyers.â
[About five seconds of silence.]
[Stephanie:] â...Anyways, this podcast was finally signed on by the one and only Principal Tetch-â
[Dick:] âYOUâRE JUST GONNA KEEP TALKING?â
[Stephanie:] âWE HAVE FIVE MINUTES FOR THIS EPISODE, DICK, WILL YOU LET ME GET TO WHAT I GOTTA SAY? You and I both know your lawyers are busy trying to get Jay out of detention after he was accused of egging Tetchâs car.â
[Dick:] âWhich, by the way, he is innocent, he was with me for the entire day.â
[Stephanie:] âYou hear that Tetch? Heâs innocent! POWER TO THEÂ STUDENTS!â
[Dick:] âJUSTICE FOR JASON!â
[Stephanie:] âBut really we should get going one with the-â [clears throat] âThe topics.â
[Dick:] âRight, right.â
[Stephanie:] âIn this podcast, we will bring to you all the things you need to know about life here, in Gotham High. Announcements, events, tea, news. Weâll even bring in special guest stars, answer your questions, cover fashion, cooking, literature even. All you want, all you need.â
[Dick:] âAdvice about love, school, life. Reviews on movies, television shows, songs, books. You name it, weâll do it. As Stephanie said, weâll answer your questions. If youâve got any, just stick them in the little slits of my locker or Stephâs and weâll do our very best to answer them all. Saturdays will be our Q/A days, so make sure to tune in for that.â
[Stephanie:] âBut for this weekâs theme, or rather monthâs, will be Halloween. All the spooky, scary things, the pumpkin spiced lattes, and the annual Wayne Halloween party taking place on the night of Halloween up at the manor.â
[Dick:] âYep, which we will be talking about in our next episode. Unfortunately, this year there will be rules, so that needs to be gone over. Itâs not mine, theyâre Alfredâs, so we all know that they need to be followed.â
[Stephanie:] âA shame. Was it because of the infamous chandelier incident?â
[Dick:] âExactly because of the infamous chandelier incident.â
[Stephanie:] âHeheh. That was a sight to see. Anywaaaays, I thiiiiink we covered all we needed to cover?â
[Dick:] âI think so too. Todayâs podcast was brought to you by the Gardening Club, come and join to help make the planet a greener place. Thatâs all folks. This has been your hosts-â
[Stephanie:] âStephanie Brown.â
[Dick:] âAnd Dick Grayson.â
[Stephanie:] âAs always, love and sparkles.â
[End of Episode 1.]
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About Spoiler Alert
Run by your two servants, the world famous Dick Grayson, and yours truly Stephanie Brown, this blog will be our way to allow you guys to read excerpts from our podcasts. We cover topics as diverse as the daily life tea at Gotham High School, love (of course!), self love, the events that are to take place all year long, a bit of fashion and cooking. Some weeks weâll receive special guests from school that youâll learn to love, and every Saturday we host Questions and Answers sessions.
Donât forget to subscribe to the actual podcast!
Love and sparkles,
The Spoiler Alert Team â¤ď¸
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