#it's specifically because i have that i can't understand why someone would want to stagnate in it

[isekyaaa]

The junk thing about mental illness and insecurities is that like... If you've learned how to cope and improve and better yourself, people that haven't been able to do so look at you like your struggles were less than theirs, like you're just naturally stronger of a person or that your struggles weren't as bad. Any advice you give is oversimplifying things. Any help you offer isn't rooted in reality. It's very frustrating to deal with.

[djpurple3]

hello! i saw your rb about using any pronouns and still being misgendered and i want to ask more about your experiense with this (with my full respect and out of genuine curiosity; sorry if this comes off like rude or inappropriate, you don't have to answer if you don't like it)

what do you consider misgendering in using any pronouns (or a wide set of them) and why? how to avoid something like this with you or people like you who use different pronouns but still may feel disrespected with some of them or in particular context?

oh wow, i didnt expect anyone to see that haha. i appreciate your curiosity, I'll see if I can say something coherent.

well. i have a different sort of view on it, because I'm a multiple pronouns user who works on a sort of rotating he/she/they throughout a sentence or a paragraph, if that makes sense?

Example! "Oh, he's going down to the shops to grab something, do you need to ask her to grab anything in specific? They're leaving now." sort of thing.

And somedays the nebulous gender will feel like "oh, no, can't tolerate being she/her'd today" or "no they/thems" today (i usually always like he/him a lot, though, which again, is unique to me).

This does mean, while i say i use he/she/they, if you were to simply pick one and use it (especially if you just picked she), that would be misgendering me. Some i tolerate/like more than others. But the fluidity is important. Stagnation = misgendering to me. But some stagnation is better than others.

Maybe this means I'm actually not qualified to talk about using 'any' pronouns, because I don't actually use any pronouns. Just the 3 in a specific way. but I do get lumped in with any pronouns users a lot (I do not mean that in a mean way, I love you guys).

It's just. it's a nebulous thing. And the easiest way to understand what someone (say, a friend) wants their pronouns used is to ask. And if you have asked but are feeling worried, ask again. Or give them the space to define themself. Or even if you don't want to ask, see how they talk about themself! Sometimes when i want to put off a certain vibe/want people to call me a certain pronoun, i'll go "im just a dude who thinks he's xyz' or whatever as part of the convo. yknow? or something silly like that.

AND. Sometimes when you have a friend who uses any pronouns who you see lots of people use one or two specific ones ( like a he/they/it who gets he/they'd a lot), use the 'rarer' ones in its set! especially if it's one of those more uncommon neopronouns that other, less gender-y people like to discourse about.

idk im not very with it at the moment. i hope this was salient.

[loloalin]

Wakanda Forever Spoilers//

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I wanna express how much I ADORE Nakia as both a character AND symbol within the movie. It's crazy how much I could write on her(and her importance to Shuri) but unfortunately that would take up too much space on a single post so I'm gonna focus on her character in relation to two scenes.

I wanna talk about the scene where Ramonda visits Shuri, who is preoccupied with her lab work. When her ai Griot mentions that Nakia is trying to reach her, Shuri almost immediately cuts him off, telling him to finish his calculations. To me, this stands out because it's one of the first indications we get of how unwilling Shuri is to deal with her grief. The fact that she wouldn't even let her ai try to explain why it might be beneficial for her to answer Nakia should tell us that yes, Shuri IS choosing her alienation, and as a consequence, choosing emotional/mental stagnation over growth. Nakia serves not only as a character who has been rejected by Shuri but also as a symbolic representation of growth.

But of course, we can't forget what took place before this scene: T'Challa's funeral. Everyone that loved him attended his funeral...except Nakia. And there is no doubt in my mind that this left a bitter taste in Shuri's mouth, as even she publicly showed up for and mourned her brother's death with the rest of Wakanda. This makes things more complicated when we watch the lab scene.

Nakia, who once CHOSE to be alienated, CHOSE not to fully confront/deal with her grief, is now finding out what it feels like to be on the other end of the stick. Her actions have consequences, and I see one of these consequences as Shuri entering this period of stagnation.

Without Nakia there, Shuri had one less person to talk to, turn to, grieve with. She had one less person to spill out her emotions to and, in turn, hear this person spill out their emotions. And most importantly, because this person was NAKIA, someone she knew her brother loved deeply, someone she depended on like a sister when her brother almost died due to Killmonger, the loss of those opportunities for grieving and growing together are MONUMENTAL.

Nakia, then, has a double meaning: a force for growth as well as a force for stagnation. Despite not saying a WORD at this point in the film, we are already given specific clues and contexts to work with that allow us to understand Nakia's importance as the past version of herself (alienated/nonconfrontational) and the version of herself she is trying to be now (connected/confrontational). Her past self mirrors who Shuri is at that point in the film, but her current self provides hope that if she could learn to deal with her grief and grow, so can Shuri.

Like I said earlier, I'll probably make more posts discussing Nakia's importance (especially in relation to Shuri and the other scenes she physically appears in). I just wanted to get this out of way cuz it's stayed on my mind for the longest😀.

[bigskydreaming]

Dick's strange habits thqt no one but himself can understand, like the tendency of his to move of city everytime due to he used to travel everywhere in the circus and can't help but do it because he is used to it. Also, we know Dick love gymnasia but, what do you think would be a hobbie for him? Like, idk, sketch and draw or something ...

Yeah its actually a huge pet peeve of mine when people characterize his tendency to move as him being flighty or having commitment issues because…no?? Sometimes people just like new places? And someone who literally spent his early childhood traveling and experiencing the world, upon reaching adulthood after years where he had no choice but to live in one singular city, might actually just want to take advantage of his freedom to move about freely and relocate frequently just because he wants to? Its not like his family don’t all have reliable access to the resources of a billionaire and also alien technology and teleporting teammates, and reaching Dick wherever he goes is not even remotely a hardship for them so how does it even make sense that him moving a single city or even state away constitutes ‘running away from them’ like, I’m pretty sure if he actually wanted to run away from his family or friends and not be followed or put actual distance between them he’d like….do a better job than…”oh what if I go to the very next city over’.

LOL sorry. But like I said, its a huge pet peeve because like….the sheer certainty with which its often ‘diagnosed’ that this tendency of Dick’s is because HE wants to run away or avoid his family like….goes hand in hand with the canon and fandom’s tendency to blame Dick for the lack of support he tends to get, with it being concluded like “oh well, what can they do, this is how Dick wants it, that’s why he runs away to another city when something bad happens, he’s running away from his problems.” No, not necessarily. Especially when he still has the same problems there. Sometimes people just legitimately use a change of scenery to cope with depression or trauma. Its not just running away, lol, relocation if you can manage it has actual validity in a wide variety of trauma or depression-related situations. And as for what his family could do about him ‘running away’ when something bad happens, well…they could get in a car and drive the half hour to the city he moved to in order to check up on him and be like FYI, if something did happen, we’re here for you.

Additionally, the way both canon and fandom tend to frame Dick’s frequent relocations is with….a bizarre degree of judgment, like….I’ve seen it cited as a character flaw, even? That he can’t commit to one place? And its like….umm, who says he has to? And for me it kinda all cycles back to that tendency people have to judge certain behaviors by what’s normal to THEM based on THEIR life experiences and behaviors, and like….Dick’s childhood wasn’t the average life experience. Why should his mannerisms or behaviors as an adult reflect what most people consider ‘normal’ instead of reflecting what’s normal for HIM?

BUT I DIGRESS.

Anyway, back to your question, as far as hobbies for Dick….tbh, I think he needs more. My headcanon there is he doesn’t do enough just for himself or focus enough on finding ways to just enjoy life for himself….its why I think its so important for him to just have as a day job something he additionally enjoys and is low-stress, like teaching gymnastics….its too much trying to devote himself to everyone but himself 24/7, 365 days a year.

But he’s been shown playing the guitar in canon, I could see that being something he explores more if he made a point to prioritize finding hobbies and passion pursuits for himself. Anything artistic really, any creative projects….I could see him having fun getting involved in a local neighborhood theater kinda thing, or forming a garage band with other superheroes. 

Alternatively, he’s someone who just likes to know and do and experience new things. So I could see him every so often just kinda….randomly picking a new skillset to try and pick up, just for the hell of it, or learn a new language he doesn’t already know, or try a new instrument, etc.

He’s someone who’s entire personality to some degree is about never standing still, and I could see that reflected in even the kinds of hobbies he took up….specifically in the idea that he doesn’t ever stick to just one hobby, that he’s constantly switching it up. Because to me, I think for him it wouldn’t be about any particular hobby, so much as being about the experience of trying something new. That’s his passion…..so his ‘inability’ to commit to things like places or activities isn’t actually an inability at all - especially since we know he’s perfectly capable of committing to a wide variety of things….from people he makes commitments to, to his teammates, to his lifetime of vigilantism in general….basically I just mean, its all about perspective and how you look at it. 

The kind of thing I’m describing where he frequently drops one hobby after awhile to take up a new one, is only an inability to commit to one…from one direction. Looked at from another direction, he is committing….its just the thing he’s committed to is the frequent renaissance of his interests, the constant subjecting or immersing of himself to or among new things, new experiences, so his life and his interests never stagnate, are always changing.

[thesagedahlia]

💔 Apryl Jones & Lil Fizz: The Re-Up💔

Gone for a minute, now we back with the jumpoff...no, I'm not talking about Apryl 👩🏾‍🦲☻

When my prediction of their break-up came to past, I wasn't as excited of my skill, as I was indifferent about the loss of this "relationshituation". I pulled cards the day it was announced as well, & I keep getting the tower card (for those that don't know, the tower is faulty foundations that come crashing down, or even self realizations, & a lot of the time is triggered by the powers that be), so I felt they were done-zo, like not for 'play play'. I also picked up on her deflecting the relationship & downplaying what really happened (like, I can't get the tower multiple times & NOT think there was more to the situation). My interest was dying down however, so I almost didn't do this whole project. Thanks to a tip from one of my followers, who spotted Apryl & Fizz together & speculated that she was with child, my 'nosey' nose started itching. Come to find out, it seems their 'paradise' blew up right in their faces, & it was in ways that I both did & didn't expect...

By the way, they still unfollow each other till this day 💅🏾

**DISCLAIMER**

I am not declaring, nor am I insinuating, that anything I say in my predictions are true accounts of any of the parties involved. This reading is for entertainment purposes only, & should only taken as such. All in good fun, folks 🤷🏾‍♀️🧿

💔The state of Apryl & Fizz's relationship energetically❔

I feel like their break-up was triggered by some reckless or careless behavior out of boredom or lack of fun. I feel like one or both people started to become discontent & dissatisfied within the relationship. Undelivered promises may have caused some loneliness as well, which is pointing to a possible infidelity. Their foundation wasn't as strong as they made it seem to be, & if feels like Apryl was who created issues outside of the equation. I also have reason to believe whoever she 'slept with' (if she did) led to a pregnancy scare/unwanted pregnancy. I feel like there was confusion as to who fathered the child. I feel like there was a separation to were Apryl probably didn't tell this everything, or she did & it wasn't believed. It feels like there is a complete lack of clarity or illumination regarding this possible pregnancy scare. I also feel like if Apryl was pregnant, she may have had fertility issues or as she may have contemplated an abortion or went through with terminating the pregnancy. I feel like they argued a lot of about what happened & it caused a lot of stress. I don't think there in the best place & Apryl may be remorseful & apologetic, but I also feel like she is defensive of her actions. Fizz feels like he has a chip on his shoulder over this, & he firmly believes that she's repeated negative patterns out of boredom. I feel like Fizz has also found peace within his solitude, & I don't feel like he is looking to fix things with Apryl. I feel there was a reality check of the stagnation they were experiencing, but I think it put a damper on their actual friendship. I'm also getting a strong feeling that whoever it is that she is being accused of sleeping with feels like an old friend or an ex of hers. Until there is ability to assert control or to receive some sort of revelation, there is an energy of uncertain outcomes or playing the waiting game. Fizz may not have been as active regarding her 'pregnancy scare', because of the overwhelming possibility that it could have been someone else's. This could honestly be a case of unrequited love or challenges to let go of a heartbreaker I'm also getting the feeling that they tried a long distance stent and their relationship but it still wasn't enough to bring things into balance.

💔 Did they break up/why❓

I'm going to say yes, they did at that time it was announced that they did, & it was a case of possible infidelity. Apryl comes off as the 'party girl' type, so she definitely has doing some overindulging, but it led to some confusion in the relationship. Apryl was being recognized around the streets, if you dig what I'm saying. It feels like it was a friend, or ex of Apryl's, that she may have been rumored to have hooked up with (I'd say it was either a friend of Apryl's, Fizz's, or this can be a mutual friend of both) that seemed to be a 'one night', if you will. I feel there was a clinging on to this relationship after a while, & a shred of it does seek the attention that comes with being together, but the connection got a little routine & burdening. It did feel like someone was searching outside of the relationship, but it didn't seem intentional; it felt like it happened naturally. Apryl is wanting a happy family life, but she is looking for in all the wrong ways out of loneliness. I feel like her children with Omarion became a priority when custody was awarded to him. I feel that dealing with that became more important than her relationship with Fizz, so plans have changed. I also feel it was hard for Fizz to process if Apryl was dealing with the friend or not, & I think the whole situation of that changed the dynamic of their relationship as a whole. There was a realization that they weren't going to grow from this, as there was no real direction. I feel like it not only drove a wedge into their relationship but also the friends relationship with each of them.

💔SINGLE LIFE💔

💃🏾 How is Apryl Jones coping with the single life ❔

She seems like she is focus on her foundations & achievements namely her family/children. It's also a strong energy of her focusing on herself & not looking to deal with love or a relationship. This is the age of someone who is single, but I do feel like she hooks up from time to time; single, yet mingling. I certainly don't feel Apryl in the house every night, & she does deal with men (or it can be a specific water sign man) that aren't emotionally mature, are emotionally manipulative, & comes off as the non-committal types. I don't feel her wanting to commit right now & it may be from discouragement or fear of uncertainty. She has a blocked heart chakra so emotionally she may be unstable herself. I do feel her really being hung up on what she went through with Omarian, but I also feel she still wanting a happy ending with someone. She's not in the right emotional state right now, so anyone she gets involved with will be unorganized or unconventional. I feel like her relationship with Fizz was a way to lash out through what she was feeling. I see her being attached from her emotions & love as well, & she may be attracting non emotional men to 'tame her beasts'. I feel like this is her way to cope, but it doesn't stick for her. She doesn't open up about how she may be suffering, & she copes in silence as well. I feel like she doesn't want to have relationships/friendships because I feel they have caused her a lot of drama & stress in her life in general, as well as her love life. She's operating on inner conflict & pain, so she is in the mindset of not allowing friends/partners into her life for too long if they begin to cause her stress.

🕺🏾How is Lil Fizz coping with the single life❓

Fizz feels like he isn't making any decisions or movements to be committed to anyone, as I feel he is getting over the relationship with Apryl & I felt that to have been taken as a failure or an embarrassment to him. I feel he felt good about his relationship with her in the past, at first, & he felt it to be fulfilling his wishes. I think really committing is a challenge for him, so I don't see him being open to a relationship anytime soon. I do feel like he's not sitting at home either & he is also in much of an in-&-out player energy with women. They both seem to be lacking introspection, but with Fizz, he seems to be coming out of his emotions as opposed to them. I do feel like he is coping with the same methods as Apryl, but he seemed to be content with this function (or so he is making himself believe this). I feel he will open up intuitively & spiritually when he begins gaining clarity on why love hasn't worked out for him in the past, & a lot of the time he would either be mismatched or we he would attract very logical or cold women. For him, this may be a slow discovery/recovery from this, & it will be a matter of gaining illumination to patterns. I also feel Fizz really does want to find someone he has genuine feelings towards & someone he would be willing to commit to, just like Apryl, but he needs to understand why he attracts certain women. I also feel he gets wary of women who gets involved with him because he's 'Lil Fizz'. He wants security & stability with someone he cares for, but he has to start getting serious about the type of girl to be with. I feel like these types of women are familiar to him & he may have a hard time implementing these expectations right away.

💔 Do they ever plan on getting back together❔

Right now, their relationship is in a state of conflict regarding some gossip or misinformation about an affair, & it is coming up as an accident that they are both aware of, but I don't think the details or as extensive or as clear. Despite this knowledge putting a wedge into their relationship, the spark went out in their relationship rather quickly as well. Also I think Apryl was trying too hard to force a family with Fizz, which also cause discontentments further promoting the connection has run its course. I feel like in their relationship, Apryl was drawing a lot of negative attention to herself, & it also felt like she is the source of a lot of drama & conflict. I feel Fizz was committed to a fault, but I think he began to become discouraged about the security within their connection. I feel that day felt it was best to close the cycle out & separate, & it feels like deception may have resulted in an unwanted pregnancy, or scare (or at least that is what's speculated). Whether there was issues with the pregnancy fertility issues or mis carriage was experience fertility is coming up a lot; which coincides with Apryl being the permiscuous type. Moving forward, trust issues came up more often than not; even though there was loyalty to the friendship, it feels like an issue of letting go of the past. It feels like they would need to be open to healing the past, but I don't think they are in this space just yet. It may be hard to overlook Apryl's alleged actions, & I feel Fizz is fearful of being cheated on or rejected. This break-up feels final & it feels like there needs to be a mutual effort & desire to be together, without it coming from and unhealed place. The alleged cheating was kind of what called everything off & turn the desire off. Overall, I think the ship has sailed since the situation isn't healed all the way.

💔What lies in the near future for both parties❓

💃🏾 Apryl will be focused on her own stability, or lack thereof, & I feel like she isn't in the best place financially, or in the coming months it will get to an uncomfortable place for her. I'm not sure of her living situation, as it seems she either has roommates, or she is living in between places, but I feel she is dealing with someone she may be dependent on. It's giving me the impression that her only claim to this man is financial stability, while he is only attracted to her for physical appearance. I feel her focus will also be recovering her reputation after the backlash of dating Fizz, which the attention from that was a possible reason why she dealt with him for that time, other than how she felt about him. I feel like she is wanting to build herself back from her relationship with Fizz, as she has had a strong fall from grace with all that has happened, & it may be difficult to recover her respect from the public eye. She has the energy of an underachiever & hasn't got into a place in her life (yet) where she can genuinely say she's financially stable or happy.

🕺🏾 Fizz feel like he is in a mentally entrapping situation that feels like it has to do with Moniece because I'm picking up mothering energy. It feels like he keeps her at bay (or tries to), but I feel like it may start to become difficult to keep her happy, let alone be able to cooperate or coparent with her. I feel this is a never-ending cycle with Mo for him, but I think he is really needing to focus on bringing positivity & optimism to this situation. I feel like he feels a lot of hostile energy, but the only reason for her hostility is due to the lack of forward movement & his lack of discipline/commitment to coparenting. I would even go as far as to say that he can be a absent father at times, or he may wait too long to take any action because he got a chip on his shoulder when it comes to Mo. He really tries to keep any monetary advances away from her but that is putting a wedge within his relationship with his son. In layman's terms, Moniece is gonna fuck around & take his ass to court, which will put him in an even more financial bind.

💔BONUS QUESTIONS💔

👶🏾 Was Apryl ever pregnant by Fizz/is there a child promised to their relationshituation❔

I see the possibility of a scare, but I feel Apryl either had complications or had the pregnancy terminated (or it was just a scare). I feel like she & Fizz had already been broken up, & it is coming up that the scare was revealed after she was separated from Fizz. I also feel Apryl had an affair around the time they separated in a may be a source of reference within a timeline of conception. I get the feeling of reluctance on having to come clean about what was done in the dark because they seem to have been already in a tight space I also believe there was gossip of Apryl being unfaithful that seem to be getting around through mutual friends & that that was where the scare stemmed from, rather than the fact that they were seemingly separated at that time. I also feel like there was even some run-ins regarding these parties. I also feel Fizz was good friends with the man she allegedly had an affair with, or he may have been familiar with him by way of a close knit network. I feel like this hurt Apryl's reputation even worse in private, yet I don't feel there will be a baby to come out of this relationshituation.

🤳🏾 Why have Apryl & Fizz unfollowed each other on Social Media❓

I'm getting the energy that it was obstacles & challenges in regards to continuing to be able to see what one another is up to. Their break feels indefinitely, & it was a combative situation that was lacking balance, even now. I also feel they were needing to understand what they were doing in their relationship together, & things were dying down as a result. I'm also getting the sense that they were beginning to recognize the lack of stability & immaturity that seemed to cause disharmony between them, & I'm also seeing that monetary issues played a part in their break-up as well. It also feels them unfollowing each other was ego-driven as well. It seems to have been a lot of conflict that seemed to be bringing out toxicity in both of them; basically they need to separate physically & visually. I don't think they are on speaking terms either, since communication is coming up with what needs to be organized.

💏 Did Apryl ever cheat in Fizz when they were together❔

It feels like it was a situation where there was misinterpretation or disillusionment regarding what is & what isn't. It feels she was focused on asserting her truth, which led to a need to control the rumors of this. In her inner truth, that is coming up that there WAS an opportunity to cheat that she did not seize, with the same individual that I kept picking up on a regards to this allegation. With that said I'm going to have to say no, she didn't cheat on Fizz. I feel like this was a rumor that blew up & caused strife between her & Fizz but the exchange of this information is what needed to be organized. There already seemed to be some boundaries in place against the possibility to cheat, by way of her own rejection. I do feel like this has had a profound effect on their relationship, & I don't think Fizz was able to trust her the same after that.