#it's still WAY too early to be super confident about this stuff but you know

[golden-cherry]

deal - cl16 (25/?)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.

Chapter Summary: Having lunch with friends always leads to sharing information. And girl, those friends don't hold back.

Warnings: 18+ (mentions of smut), fluff, Kika is the bestest friend on this planet, mentions of Carlos and his girlfriend (yes, I consider this a trigger)

Word Count: 3.3k

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A/N: I just reached 2.6k followers and wow!! thank you so much!!! I love you! and this one is for you!!! feedback is appreciated.

Although it's only a few days until Christmas, the sun is shining so brightly that it's pleasantly warm as you and Kika leave the furniture store. As planned - but still with an uneasy feeling - you have left the almost overflowing shopping cart in front of the checkouts and while Charles pays for your "early Christmas present", you and your friend walk to the restaurant.

"I hope all this stuff fits in the car." Kika curls her mouth into a grin. "The mirror I wrote on the note - you know, the one they have to get from storage - is pretty big."

"I'd like to have your guts," you answer her. "Just picking out a huge mirror without knowing exactly whether it will fit anywhere in our apartment."

Kika grins and points to her brown eyes. "Eye measurement, baby. Those marbles are that big for a reason."

You have to stifle a laugh. "If you say so."

While the Portuguese woman plans where in your room she will place which decoration, your thoughts drift off. 

It bothers you a little that Charles wants to spend so much money on you. And for no good reason. "I want you to feel comfortable" was his explanation, which is of course very courteous and loving of him. But you could have bought the things with your own money. At least a small part of it. 

Would he expect a similarly expensive gift for Christmas now? If so, what could you get him? What do you give someone who already has everything? 

"Are you mad at me?" Kika interrupts your flow of thoughts and grabs your elbow. 

Confused, you turn to her. "What?"

"I - I don't know." When she stops, you're forced to stop too. "I didn't tell you that Charles is a famous Formula 1 driver. You - you confided in me about Raphael and I kept you in the dark about your roommate." 

You exhale. "Kika..."

"I wasn't a good friend and I'm sorry about that. Charles had asked us all not to tell because he wanted to protect you and enjoy the time with you when he was just Charles to you. Even if it wasn't fair to you. I can understand if you're angry with me and-"

"I'm not angry with you," you interrupt her and smile at her. "You're Charles' friend first and foremost and I can't blame him or you for keeping his secret. It doesn't affect our friendship in the slightest."

"Promise?" Her tone sounds a little more pleased than it did a few moments ago. 

You nod. "I promise."

She hooks back into you. "Thank goodness for that. I felt super bad because I couldn't tell you. But it wasn't my secret and it wasn't my place to tell you. And I'm really relieved that you see it the same way." She rests her head on your shoulder as you continue walking. 

"So you're a model, huh?" you ask her. 

She nods. "Yes. Well, I put a lot of effort into it and it's very tiring at times." Kika shrugs her shoulders. "But because of that - and Pierre, of course - I get to travel a lot and see great places. And I really appreciate that." She looks at you. "Now that you're unemployed -" You give her a dirty look. "Maybe you'd like to take my pictures sometime. And then I can post it on my Instagram and maybe other models will want to book you."

"You haven't seen any of my pictures yet," you reply with a laugh as she grabs your hand and jumps up and down. "Of course we can. We can try it out if you like."

Your friend looks around briefly before letting go of you and moving away from you. "How about now? I know you don't have your camera with you, but you can use my phone. The photos won't be as focused as with a real camera, but it should be enough to get you started." 

She hands you her cell phone before standing opposite you against the wall of the house. You watch her uncertainly as she fixes her hair. "Are you sure about this? What if the boys are already waiting for us?"

"Let them." She pulls her black jeans up a little so that they sit loosely on her hips. "It won't take long. And I trust you. So here we go."

While Kika turns, repositions herself and smiles at the camera, you take as many pictures as you can. In between, you adjust her purple cardigan so that it sits in the middle of her narrow shoulders, tell her how her feet should be positioned to emphasize the curves of her body and even tousle her hair once so that a few strands fall loosely into her forehead. 

When you look at the pictures after ten minutes and favor three of them, she looks curiously over your shoulder. "They look great. Really outfit of the day vibe." You hand the phone back to her. "I like this one. And this one. You've captured my butt well," she grins and puts the phone in her black handbag before hooking it back up to you. "And now let's go. I'm really hungry and I don't want to keep your tiramisu from you."

Oh well. 

Charles' words - "Then lie down on the bed, mon amour. I'd like to see how you look on it" - haunt your mind and the images that appear in your head don't make the situation any easier.  

For example, Charles kneeling between your legs and his gaze wandering hungrily over your body. How his hands rest on your thighs to open them a little wider so that he can lie comfortably on his stomach between them. How he slides his fingers under the hem of your panties to slowly pull them off your legs. And the way his mouth moves up from the soft skin of your thighs to where you want it to be. Need it to be. The way he opens his mouth and licks his tongue over his lips before closing the distance between you and - 

"Watch out. You start drooling." When you give Kika a confused look, she pokes you in the side. "I didn't know you could daydream about tiramisu."

"I wasn't even thinking about tiramisu," you defend yourself, but Kika doesn't believe a word you say. 

"Of course not." You could even hear her grin if you weren't looking at her. She lifts her hand and puts it to your cheek, playfully wiping the non-existent spit from the corner of your mouth. "I hate to repeat myself, but you're really not very good at lying."

You chew the inside of your cheek and look down at your sneakers. "Is it that obvious?"

"That you're totally into tiramisu? Hardly," she replies wryly, but puts her arm around your shoulder. "Let's be honest. A trained eye like mine can spot something like that, but if you're worried about the boys seeing it - you really don't need to worry. They wouldn't even recognize a dessert if you put it right in front of them."

"I just don't know what to do," you confess to her. 

Kika purses her lips. "Would you be ready for tiramisu after everything that's happened?"

A question you don't know the answer to. After Raphael's betrayal, you had actually sworn off men for a long time for fear that something similar would happen to you again. You tried to build a wall around your heart, but Charles has broken it down piece by piece and now there is only him. He has spread inside you, in your head and in your heart, and you are hungry for him - a feeling that you have never felt for Raphael before. A feeling that takes you by surprise and overruns you like an avalanche and you are helplessly at its mercy. 

"It's not the end of the world if you're ready for it," Kika assures you and her smile is genuine. "And when you're ready to give the tiramisu its real name, I'll be here if you want to talk about it."

You hug your friend tightly, causing her to let out a loud gasp. "Thank you, Kika. Really."

"You don't need to thank me. After all, I'm going to make full use of the mirror in your room soon and use you for your photography skills."

A few minutes later, you arrive at the small restaurant. As you enter through the glass door, you can already see the two men sitting at a table at the back. And Kika was right - apart from the four of you, the restaurant is deserted. 

"Where have you been?" asks Pierre as you join them. While Kika sits down opposite her boyfriend, you take the empty seat next to her. "We've been waiting for ages."

"We had to stop for a moment because I wanted to take photos," Kika explains and shows them both one of the pictures you took of her.

Pierre grimaces in amazement. "Very good photos. I hope you tag her in them too."

Playfully indignant, she puts her hand to her cleavage. "Of course! What makes you think I wouldn't do that? It might even land her more photo shoots with other models." She leans in your direction. "But as long as I remain your favorite model, everything's fine."

"You are and always will be my favorite model, Kika," you reply and briefly lean your cheek against the top of her head before she sits up straight again. 

While Kika and Pierre argue lovingly, you feel Charles pressing one of his legs against yours under the table. When you look at him, he smiles. "Everything okay?" he asks silently, tilting his head. 

You nod. "Everything's perfect." You press your leg against his as well.

The risotto you ordered doesn't taste too bad, even if it is a little more fancy than your typical meals. The boys talk about their sport and you try to understand everything, but when the conversation eventually turns to engines, you stop listening. 

You watch Charles as he talks energetically and passionately to his friend about his job, while the French mainly listens. He tries to explain things with his hands, waving them wildly in front of his face, and if you didn't know him, you'd think he was a bit out of his mind. But there is something twinkling in his eyes, a spark that shines brighter and brighter the longer he talks about Formula 1.

It makes him so attractive that you have to swallow. 

"How are Carlos and his girlfriend doing?" Kika interjects into the conversation. "I saw on Instagram the other day that they went on a trip together."

You look from Kika to Charles. "Who is Carlos?"

"My teammate at Ferrari. The other driver," he explains briefly with a smile before turning to Kika. "I've seen that too. Santorini or something, wasn't it? It was definitely nice, but let's see how long it lasts."

You have to ask again. " How long will it last? That doesn't sound like you have much faith in the relationship."

Kika, who has taken a sip of her water, puts her glass back on the table. "Unfortunately, this has nothing to do with faith," she explains and takes her cell phone out of her bag. She taps on it a little until she hands it to you. 

You see an Instagram page of a Becca, also a model, it seems. 27 years old, model at the Bijou Management agency. Her last post is actually from Santorini and alongside all the pictures of her lolling by the pool is one of her with a man. Carlossainz55 is tagged in the picture.

"When you're famous, it's harder to have a relationship," Pierre continues. "Not everyone is so lucky and falls in love with someone who is a good match for them. Sometimes rumors surface about people that aren't true, but still damage reputations. And to counteract this, some people go into relationships that put them in a good light."

You look around in confusion. "So it's a marketing strategy? So that people can sell themselves better?"

Charles nods. "These PR relationships are very conspicuous and usually easy to see through, but even then they distract from the actual rumor."

"And Carlos and Becca are in one of those PR relationships?" Your friends nod. "And what's the rumor that needs to be put to rest?"

Charles bites the inside of his cheek. "Carlos was with a young, super-nice woman for years. When they broke up, there was a rumor that he had a secret family and even a son. That this was the reason for the break-up. And that triggered a few conversations at Ferrari." He shrugs his shoulders. "And then they pulled Becca in for him."

You furrow your eyebrows. "Pulled her in? How do you find someone to willingly agree to a fake relationship like that?"

Kika catches your attention. "Some racing teams have a cooperation with certain modeling agencies for such cases. Which of course makes the whole thing even more conspicuous. But just think how much publicity the girlfriends get from it. It definitely doesn't hurt the modeling job."

"But you also have to understand that millions of euros are attached to a driver's reputation," Pierre explains. "Fans buy tickets to see their favorite driver. They buy merchandise like shirts, caps or whatever to show their loyalty. And loyalty is not exactly low. Ask Charles. One priest has his whole Instagram page dedicated to him."

As you look at your roommate, he can only nod. "That's true. Fans put their favorites on pedestals, praise them to the skies and would defend them to the bitter end. But a rumor that is so serious and has consequences like falling sales figures - anything is better than fans who refuse to support their favorites."

"And why do you think it won't be good for much longer?" Charles looks nervously around the room as if he doesn't know what to say, and his friends also avoid your gaze and your question. "Guys, I don't know these people. So, whatever you tell me - I can't do anything with the information anyway. Is there another woman?"

"It's not exactly another woman," Kika mumbles into her glass and all heads turn in her direction. "What is it? Like she's going to run to the nearest news agency and tell them that the Spanish Ferrari driver isn't exclusively into women."

You raise your hands placatingly. "In case it's not clear - of course I'll keep everything that's said around the table to myself. I'm not crazy and risking our friendship."

"I didn't expect anything else," Charles replies with a smile that could melt glaciers. "I couldn't bear it if we weren't friends anymore either." 

As you look at him and mindlessly lick your lips, you feel Kika's elbow gently on your arm. 

"What do you think? Do you fancy some tiramisu?" 

Your gaze lingers on Charles and when he presses his leg a little harder against yours, your breath hitches. "I'm craving it."

And indeed. The tiramisu isn't as good as the one at the restaurant where you met Kika and Pierre, but it comes close. You try to look away from Charles, but every time you look at him, his eyes are already on you. Something that makes you even more nervous than it should. 

When you get into the car a short time later, unnoticed, you glance briefly over the seats back into the trunk. "Where's the new bed?"

Charles straps himself in and has the seat belt fastened against his torso. "They'll deliver it between Christmas and New Year and set it up straight away. Then I won't have all the work and Pierre won't have to lug it around with me."

"For which I am very grateful," replies the Frenchman, steering the car through the streets of Monaco. "I don't even know how we're going to transport this mirror without breaking it. It was already barely possible to get it into the car."

"That sounds like a you-problem," grins Kika, looking at her boyfriend through the rear-view mirror. "You're the strong men. You'll find a solution while we get all the little things into the apartment. Right?"

The question is directed at you, but apart from a nod, she can't expect anything else in response. Charles's fingers are once again wrapped around your calf, his thumb gently stroking your warm skin and you can't think of anything else but the feeling of warmth that spreads through you from this small touch. 

It takes a good hour for both the mirror and the rest to get to the upstairs in your apartment. After Pierre involuntarily teaches you several swear words in French and Kika decorates your entire windowsill with fake plants, they quickly make a run for it, worried that you're both going to take even more advantage of them than you already have. 

"We've had a good day so far," you call out to Charles from the kitchen as you pour you both a glass of water each. You don't know where he is, but he will probably have heard you anyway. 

"Definitely," comes his voice from the living room. As you follow it, you see Charles sitting on the large couch, his head back and his eyes closed. Only now do you notice how thick his neck is. Is it from all the training for Formula 1?

"Here." You hold his glass of water out to him and he opens his eyes to accept it. As you sit down, he takes a sip. You watch his Adam's apple bounce as he swallows. 

"Thank you," he replies quietly and rests his arm on the back of the couch. A sign for you to lean against him, which you definitely don't refuse. 

As you snuggle into his side and breathe in his unmistakable scent, you feel tiredness overtake you. "But it was exhausting."

""Mh-mhh." 

"Thanks again. For my early Christmas present. Even though it wasn't necessary," you joke, but as rigid as Charles is sitting next to you, he doesn't seem to be in the mood for jokes. And as you follow his stare, the roses on the white piano come into your field of vision. The reason why you suggested the trip to the furniture store. And suddenly your tiredness is blown away. 

"Do you happen to know anyone who has something like a fire bowl or something?" you ask your flatmate. 

This question seems to break him out of his spell. His gaze wanders from the roses to you and he raises an eyebrow in confusion. "A fire bowl?" You nod. "Joris has a rooftop terrace and we've had bonfires there before in the summer." He licks his teeth once. "What do you need a fire bowl for? You're not thinking about sitting around a fire with sticks and marshmallows in winter, are you?"

"Not exactly," you reply and get up from the couch. As you look down at him, you hold out your hand. "Come on, mon joli. I have an idea."

[mechaknight-98]

Home Run (NSFW) Ft. Sohee

The winner of poll for Wednesday’s fic. Hope y'all enjoy.

Sohee had always loved baseball for the entirety of your relationship. It was so all-consuming that you often wondered if she loved the "sport" more than you. You couldn't stand the sport however mostly because of its glacial pace, and lack of stacks in moment-to-moment play. Rugby was more your speed, but you learned the tells and watched 4 full seasons of Eagles games. at this point, you knew the sport almost inside and out begrudgingly, but you loved Sohee and she did make it worth your while. when watching the last game of the season you partially zoned out as a new game on the switch came out. so you were enjoying that Muted so Sohee could get the full experience of watching her team. As the game winded down you looked towards the stat sheet to catch up on what was going on.

"Ugh well, there goes our chance at playoffs." Sohee groaned indicating that both the game and her team's season were over.

Absent you say, "Their playoff hopes were dashed ages ago and until they do something about their offensive play then they will continue to fall behind the pack."

Sohee turns to you surprised, "How do you know this she challenged

"Well, defensively they are great 12 strikeouts to 8 is insane, they also had a similar number of at-bats, hits, and batting averages. the disparity comes in runs batted in and bases on ball which contributed to an early lead for the Giants that was just too much to overcome. You explained without looking up from your switch.

"but other games have been closer!" Sohee asserted confidently.

at this point, you look up from your switch to smile at your lovely girlfriend and say, "Baby I love you but your team finished 9 out of 10 in the rankings this year. I know you say it's not a "numbers" game and there is more to it than stats but in this specific case the numbers don't lie." To soften the sting you kiss her cheek.

Sohee smiles and says, "Since when did you become an expert on my team."

"Babe," you groan, "We have watched this entire season. Now I know they are not the same team as last year but at least for this season, they had offensive issues. That much is apparent with how many games ended in one-sided games of 7-2 or 8-0, or..." Sohee seeing your point kisses you before you start running more numbers off. Quiet as it's kept she would always get so turned on when you talked baseball. She was dripping wet when she straddled you as the kiss languished into a full make-out.

"Someone's feeling frisky." you tease.

"I just can't help it. When my boyfriend knows his stuff it makes me all excited." Sohee replies demurely, she would never admit it to you but whenever you started getting super into the stats and numbers her head would begin to spin with arousal and she always had to resist the urge to just drain you then and there. Today though you were both off for the next couple of days so she could fuck you as long as she wanted. She began the horizontal tango by pushing down on the couch as she began to kiss you more fervently.

"Um, babe I hate to kill the mood but can I ask that you give me one second to let go of the switch." You asked as she broke the kiss to breathe.

"hm," Sohee huffed.

"Hey I can't massage your ass the way you like if I don't have both my hands." you tease. Sohee smiled gleefully and let you go. you run to the dock to place your switch before going back to her, and she wastes no time returning to her attack on your body, but you are not merely prey. you counterattack her kisses of your neck and collarbone by massaging her bountiful rump. She mewls in pleasure eager to egg you on. As the two of you kiss her tongue is the first to explore your mouth. She draws you in and refuses to relinquish control as she has her tongue dance along the whole of your mouth. when she breaks the kiss to breathe a trail of saliva links the two of you together still Sohee licks her lips and purrs before unfastening your belt. You groan in pleasure as she fishes out your cock and begins to suck on it. you try not to push her down as her cheeks hollow and she takes you further than ever, but the comfort and warmth of her throat cause you to buck your hips which leads to a further loss of control as you begin to relentlessly fuck her throat. You watch as your girlfriend's eyes roll back as you continue to use her throat to pleasure you. the sounds of gags break the silence of your shared apartment, as she submits to you wholly and completely. You continue to use her throat with reckless abandon

You don't stop until you feel your release and cum down her throat. As you sense, you see Sohee stare at you with a look she has never displayed before. She gets up and smiles at you lustfully. "You like using me like a little fuckdoll?" she says with angered lust.

"You like just using my throat like it's your toy?" she pressures. She begins to corner you and of course, this leads to the bedroom. she pushes you down and begins to suck your cock again. you groan as she takes you down her throat, but this time it's different as she begins to manipulate her throat muscles in a way that's foreign but insane to you.

"Oh God," you scream as Sohee works over your cock. Sohee smiles and eggs you on

"You gonna cum for mommy. Come on cum down Mommy's throat like the good boy you are and I just might let you fuck my pussy." You can't hold out much longer as Sohee continues to relentlessly suck and gorge herself on your rod before you cum again, but she's not done with you yet. she begins to rub your cock to get it hard again

Your overwhelmed body barely can stop the moan of pleasure and discomfort as Sohee takes you inside. She smiles at Sickly while watching you squirm under her.

“Babe please stop,” you beg but Sohee begins to ride you oblivious to your discomfort she chases her high.

“Oh I just love how you fill me up,” she says as she begins her deadly body roll her tight tummy hypnotizes you as she continues grinding on your cock. She continues to chase her release despite your protests. You groan and wince as she pushes you further and further past your

limits, while she loses herself more and more to pleasure. Eventually, you pass out.

When you wake up your head is pounding as you feel something wet and tight on your crotch it's Sohee. She's passed out while you're still inside her. You chuckle and adjust so the two of you can cuddle together. When you get into a comfortable position Sohee nestles closer.

“I may not know baseball but you are my favorite home run,” you say as you fall asleep again

[vespaer77]

I'd like to tell you a story...

... about my first Tav, Shayla Moonsong.

She is a Zariel tiefling, and a College of Lore Bard, and while she wasn't my first Tav, she was the first one to finish the game. I had romanced Lae'zel, Shadowheart, and Astarion in early access, so I focused on her because I was anxious to try a new romance, Halsin. However, because she was created just after full release, her save file was horrifically bugged. I got the cut scenes for Halsin that allowed me to progress his companion quest and cure Moonhaven of the shadow curse, but after that I could get no further dialogue from him at all, even in camp. I was playing with a party limit mod by the time he joined my party, so I never needed to worry about dismissing him from my party, but I did occasionally have difficulty with him following the party. I had to run around controlling him a lot. The only scene I ever got with him once he joined me was specifically his sex scene, after I did the love test at the circus in Act 3. I knew literally nothing about him, lol, so I had to google the answers.

But that was the thing. I knew… nothing about this guy. He was just some hot elf my bard boned, I had zero investment in him other than that. And it became a head canon for me about her - she was a typical bard, slutting her way to the Gate. She slept with the Emperor, she had a foursome with the drow twins and Halsin, and she absolutely played Haarlep's game to get his pass code. And while I'd wished, at the time, I could have had the additional enrichment of a poignant, heartfelt romance, I did enjoy exploring a character that was more free with her sexuality. As a result, though, I'd ended up "saving myself" for Halsin, because I knew his romance would (or in my case should but didn't) open up very late in the game. And I'd shot down all of the other companions fairly quickly.

Including Gale.

Especially Gale.

He was still bugged at the time, and his… overly amorous nature, lol, was widely known to anyone who'd spent more than ten minutes on the internet. So I ignored a lot of opportunities to know him better. And at the time, he was honestly my least favorite character. Particularly because I truly didn't enjoy him in early access. I genuinely found him offputting and way too over the top, and subsequently much of his narrative flew straight over my head.

Like a Boeing 777.

But let's be honest. Because of the nature of his story, and the way he seems to compartmentalize his trauma as devotion, and because of the mask of charm and confidence he wears to convince your character of his usefulness, and the way he tempers his emotions so he doesn't upset the orb, all of these things… the complexity of his narrative is super duper subtle. Or at least to me it was. I was the complete dumb dumb that didn't pick it up from context like we were supposed to.

Until I played my bard, Shayla. The first one to get through Act 3.

I had saved the culmination of Gale's quest in Sorcerous Sundries til nearly the end. Just before all the stuff with the foundry and Gortash. At the time, he was still a checklist item, a box to mark off on my road to the final boss.

So I went into it feeling like this man was probably pretty fed up with me, lol. And then he read the Annals of Karsus and I realized right then just how much I'd taken this character for granted. Because everything about him, his entire personality, shifted right there, and he became… someone else. And everyone else in my party noticed it too. The choice of responses I was given was crafted in a way that made me feel like the writers very much wanted me to notice a change had taken place within Gale. And then I picked a response that was honestly a touch unkind. I don't remember what I said to him, but…

He yelled at me.

"She left me to die!" he said. I remember that part.

And when the camera panned back to me and the party, we were all wide eyed and reared away from him in shock and disbelief that this charming, confident, gregarious, and benign creature was suddenly so… dark. And it was at that moment that a light switch was flipped. The missing puzzle piece was found and snapped into place. Suddenly I understood everything I'd missed up to that point, and it was more than just an "ah hah!" moment. It was an, "Oh my god…" moment. He hadn't become someone else.

We were seeing who he truly was for the first time.

His mask had slipped. Cracked beneath strain. He'd been pushed to a breaking point.

Naturally, because he's Gale, he recovered quickly. But it was too late. I saw him. And then two things happened. I fell in love with him. Instantly. But then I also realized the game was almost over. His romance opportunity had come and gone, there wouldn't be a "confess your love at the last minute" option. And of course his fate at the end of the game was not so kind to my bard either.

I've had big feelings about it ever since.

And then the Hugs mod came out, which only served to further poke my great big ouchy feelings.

I've lived in head canon land for a while now when it comes to Shayla Moonsong. In my head canon, he did end up taking her advice, he did pick an outcome that didn't involve using the Crown of Karsus or the Karsite Orb, and in no way did he become a pulverized cloud of stardust. He ended the game living peacefully in Waterdeep, giving Tara belly rubs and ushering in the next generation of wizards without grooming them for a lifetime of suffering.

But that leaves Shayla herself and her big, unresolved feelings. Feelings that were never processed or acknowledged, as the time was never right between her relationship status with Halsin and the fate of the world resting on her shoulders.

So, what is a bard to do when she falls in love, but it's too late?

Nothing small, that's for sure. And it will probably involve singing.

(I'm planning on maybe two to three chapters for this story, in which she very much makes things worse before they get better, lol. She's still learning. But it's definitely gonna end with some light cunnilingus and good, heavy railing either on a kitchen counter or against a bookshelf. I haven't decided yet. I do hope, if you do decide to read this humble beginning, that you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. And also please excuse my ill attempts at self-effacing meta humor.)

Pairing: Gale / named fem!Tav bard Rating: Smut is imminent (once we get through the foreplay… er, mutual pining) Word count: 4790

Read the story HERE or under the cut

Chapter One: The Wizard, The Real One

"Is there a loan shark in the audience or something?" Jory asked.

"Hmm?" Nelsyn replied, but she didn't look up from her lines. He supposed that was fair. She was busy letting Sara fix the adhesive on the curly teal wig that sat between her horns, and Jory knew as well as anyone on cast that nothing good came from troubling the crew. He let his heavy bear pelt slip from his shoulders as he sat down in the empty chair next to her.

"She's been there all night," he told his friend as he nodded toward the entryway to stage right. "Boss lady. We've been touring this show for months. We could all do it in our sleep, she knows that. Never seen her hover like this."

And there was no reason for it. "The Fall of the Absolute" was a roaring success. The production was Shayla Moonsong's crowning achievement, a media darling, and the current obsession of a whole continent. She'd catalogued volumes of stellar, five-star reviews thus far, and was selling out box offices everywhere she went. The show was the hottest new thing since "Volo's Guide to Sex in the Elemental Planes."

But it wasn't her biggest accomplishment. It wasn't what she was truly known for.

She was the Hero of Baldur's Gate.

She faced the illithid Netherbrain herself, and won.

And the tale they were telling in front of all those people was her story.

Heavens knew the winsome bard had faced far greater perils than watching a chapter of her life play out on a stage.

And yet there she stood, on this most unremarkable of nights, leaning just inside the door frame where she could observe without obstructing. Where she could scan the audience like a scrying eye, searching for… something. Normally she'd be flitting about like a cloud of gnats directing the cast and crew, answering questions, giving orders, helping the caterer, filling water jugs, finding toilet paper, running errands, meeting VIPs. Trying not to go crazy. But not tonight. Tonight she stood very still, chewing her thumbnail and unconsciously flicking the tip of her tail over and over, hard to the left.

And Jory remembered what Nelsyn had said about what it meant when tieflings flicked their tail to the left.

She was clearly nervous about something.

"Well, we're about to do the big emotional number," Nelsyn finally told him, closing the cover of her script while Sara gave her wig a good yank to test the glue. "It's the one all the teenage girls are sobbing over their sketch pads for right now."

She stopped to take a sip of water when Sara bent to pick up her cosmetics case. The girl made a gesture to Jory to give up his seat, and he tripped over his own feet unfolding himself to stand up. Once again he was reminded why he was cast as the big druid, Halsin. Shayla had told him once that while he wasn't quite as tall as the real thing… he was close. He wondered how easily the boss lady's former lover would have fit into that chair.

"This is our first time in Waterdeep," Nelsyn continued, trying her best not to move her lips while Sara applied a fresh coat of pink stain. "She probably just wants to see how it gets received. She doesn't really get to just sit out there and watch, you know?"

"Yeah."

"Could be it," Sara told them both, bunching her eyebrows and concentrating on keeping her hand steady. "Part of it, anyway. That is her favorite character out there, singing his heart out about the bomb in his chest."

"Her favorite character? The wizard?"

"Someone else got a bomb?"

"Please. Everyone knows I'm her favorite character."

"Listen," she replied as she wiped the applicator clean with a kerchief, "you're a good looking kid, and no one hates watching you take your clothes off out there." Nelsyn snorted, but they both ignored her. "A healthy percentage of ticket sales is probably yours, no one's arguing that. But that's not enough for you to game the win."

"Game the w- what?" Jory laughed, his oiled obliques glistening as he pulled the bear pelt back over his shoulders. "Look, I'm not trying to make it a competition or anything, okay? You brought it up. But I literally play an archdruid who carves ducks, sings to squirrels, and adopts orphans. Plus? He looks like this." He swept his hands grandly over his abdomen, flexing muscles most people had only seen in paintings or medical textbooks. "And did I mention he's also her boyfriend?"

"Her ex-boyfriend," Sara corrected him, pointing at Nelsyn as she spoke. "Have you even listened to the song she's getting ready to sing? You know. The one about love? And sacrifice?" She shifted her weight as an intern sidled past her to tidy the table, refill their drinks, and bag up the trash. "And don't tell me you haven't looked at Erik with both of your eyeballs. We've all seen him. The man has eyelashes as long as your forearm. And the biggest, saddest, wettest brown eyes on the face of this planet. He's like a baby cow, okay? I'm just saying." She stood to let the intern past her again, and bent to drag her cosmetics case out of the way. "This is the man she cast to play the lead in the big romantic climax of the whole show. When the main character realizes she's in love and it's too late. She's managed to capture," she pinched her fingers in front of her face, "the very essence of what it means to have sad children mooning over this show for years to come, okay? The baby cow is a cash cow. And he is clearly her favorite character."

"I think the vampire is her favorite character," the intern said, unprompted, as she reached to help Nelsyn out of her seat. "He's everyone's favorite character."

"You're all wrong," Nelsyn told them as she sloughed her way out of her robe with great theatrical flair. The intern caught it before it hit the floor, just as she'd done so many times before. Nelsyn stood with her hands on her hips and a gallant curve to her tail, casting her eyes toward the rafters and beaming a heavily pink-stained smile, resplendent in her artificially distressed leather armor blotted with thick fake blood.

"I'm her favorite character," she said, glowing with certainty. "And it should be obvious. I'm her! Now, stand back and watch while I go make a bunch of little girls cry!" And with that, she grinned devilishly and pranced toward the stage.

But once she was gone, the intern leaned forward and beckoned. Jory found himself instinctually drawn to listen.

"Well, you wanna know what I heard?" she whispered, and her eyes landed on Shayla for only just a moment. Jory nodded out of reflex. "I heard a rumor that someone in the orchestra pit overheard the boss lady telling someone in the box office that there was going to be a special guest tonight."

"What. Like, family?" Jory asked. "I thought she was an orphan."

"Could be anyone," Sara answered him from where she stood, combing through a wig hanging on the wall. "Philanthropist, politician. Who knows.

"Or," the intern hissed, leaning in even closer, "it could be one of them."

"One of who?"

"You know. Them. Thems what was with her, when all this went down."

"Like… like one of the actual…?"

"Don't you two have anything better to do than -"

"Wait. We're in Waterdeep," Jory breathed. He snatched up Nelsyn's script and started thumbing through it, fanning the pages and blowing a strand of hair across his nose. "Isn't… isn't the wizard…?"

Sara dropped her comb to her side and opened her mouth, but stopped and blinked at him instead. A thoughtful look crept across her face. She nodded her head in defeat.

"The wizard's from Waterdeep."

Then, as one, they all turned to look at Shayla where she stood at stage right, still as a statue.

And the music began to swell. The strings stirred the air with sounds as soft and sweet as sunset. The woodwinds sang a shrill crescendo as Erik began to make his famous climb.

And Nelsyn began to sing her famous song.

Before she disappeared beyond the narrow view from stage right, Jory watched her as she raised her arm to reach for him.

The wizard.

And her voice rang out so high and so clear, so heavy with every loss that Shayla Moonsong had ever suffered, with every plea that ever twisted her heart in bitter knots. With every word that ever fell from the mighty pen of their beloved playwright.

Who stood now with her hand at her throat. It bobbed once when she swallowed. Her lips parted and she drew a breath, and a hush fell over the crowd. She settled in to listen with the rest of them.

And her tail flicked once more to the left.

I know I've been unkind to you And I've pushed you way too far And I know in ignorance I forced you To reveal the man you are And I know I've left you with nothing to lose And even less to gain And though I know you owe me nothing Please don't give in to pain

Erik's silhouette was emblazoned across the long, velvet curtain hanging behind the hideously decorated staircase he was climbing. His movements were eery and real, despite their paltry attempts to pantomime a grisly memory that none of them had ever lived. Each step was measured and dreamlike and perfect, like a person caught in a trance or a dead man called home to his rest by a spectral light.

Or in this case, a massive papier mache facsimile of a netherbrain hung from a scaffold over the stage.

Please, Please don't do this I'm begging you not to go Please, Please don't do this There's something you need to know What can I do to make you wait Convince a goddess to change your fate Please tell me that it's not too late There's something I didn't say…

"It can't be him, though. Can it?" Jory asked. "Didn't he, like," he pointed a finger toward the stage, "explode?"

"Oh, no. It's just a story, mate," came a voice from behind them. It was Velanthyr, the elf who played Astarion. They rounded the table and perched themself on the corner, placing their white wig beside them as they took a bite from an apple. "She's embellished tons of stuff. For emotional impact. They all do it."

I should have loved you since I met you I should have loved you all along

"That bard she played? In the first act?"

"Yeah?"

"She ain't really dead either."

"Seriously?"

I should have told you that I love you Instead of hiding behind a song

"My cousin met her. Said he saw her play someplace they had dinner."

"No shit?"

"It's true. She teaches music in Baldur's Gate."

Is there nothing left that I can do But fall to my knees and pray

"So what's with her, anyway?" Velanthyr asked, pointing their apple at Shayla while they wiped the juice from their lips with their other hand.

The tip of her tail flicked again, and slowly she wrapped her arms around her middle.

To any god or any devil Who'd keep you from walking away

"She's been acting weird all night," they said.

"S'what we were just talking about."

Please, Please don't do this! Turn around! This isn't right!

"We think the wizard might be out there," the intern told them. "The real one."

"Oh no," the elf laughed.

Please, Please don't do this! Please, I'm begging you to fight!

"Hope he has a sense of humor. It's about to get weird!"

"Weird?!" Sara growled at them, flinging her comb about.

Forget your fickle god's desire I'd cross the oceans, I'd walk through fire I'd conquer all the Hells entire For you And yes, I know you're tired

"The man is getting ready to watch himself die! And I'm sure I don't need to remind you his death is self-inflicted! If there's a chance that any of this is real? That the trauma this man survived is on display? You all need to show a little respect." She shook her head and turned back to her wig. "Shut up and let her listen."

Sara's words may have stung him, but Jory knew she was right. So he obeyed her, and he listened. And for the first time he truly heard the fragile warble of desperate heartache that Nelsyn had worked so hard to craft through her voice.

Come back to me and take your rest Indulge one overdue caress I'll steal the sorrow from your chest And confess, I will confess

But he didn't just uncover a new appreciation for his friend and her level of skill. There was more to it than that. There was a depth to this scene that he'd been missing before now.

There was a meaning. One that wasn't meant for the whole world.

It was only meant for one man.

He could sense it in the vibrant tension bound between Shayla Moonsong's shoulder blades.

And then Nelsyn grew quiet. Everything got quiet. The music made a subtle shift to something low and dulcet, but tense, like a string pulled too tight without snapping. Jory found his feet had led him to stand at Shayla's shoulder. He could hear her breathing through her teeth and he felt compelled to reach out and take her hand.

She took hold of it like a lifeline.

You're everything to me and more You're all that I've been fighting for You're more than just an end to war…

Nelsyn paused after that last note. It was important to the narrative, it was the whole point behind the wizard's story. But her longing would go deliciously unrequited, and would inspire a veritable deluge of creativity from fandom communities everywhere.

Shayla squeezed Jory's hand, squeezed her eyelids firmly shut. She held her breath and Jory could see Erik had reached the top of the rise. There he stood, a straight, unyielding figure gazing off into the liminal distance, resolute.

And he would never turn around.

It wouldn't be long. Any moment.

Nelsyn sang her penultimate line.

And I would give my life for yours…

She held the word so long it nearly sank into Jory's skin. It sent a wave goosebumps to crest over every inch of his body. The orchestra wove their way through their final, sweeping refrain, and the conductor brought them to a close on a plaintive harmony between a flute and an oboe.

And then the light collapsed.

It shrank to a small, pale circle that drew its stark and shining focus on a razor-slim shadow cast against the curtain.

In the shape of a dagger.

Erik lifted it high and turned its point toward his heart.

"Gods preserve me," Shayla mumbled to herself. It was the only sound Jory could hear aside from the sniffs and sniffles of the audience. Collectively they teetered at the edges of their seats, enthralled by a beautiful, mournful man who was counting the final seconds of his life with undaunted stoicism and courage.

Nelsyn could've whispered her final line if she wanted to, but instead it burst from her as a scream.

"Don't do this!!!"

Jory felt it thrum like a shockwave within his own chest, and beside him Shayla flinched. She squeezed his hand even harder.

"Just tell me when it's over," she said to him. And then suddenly there was a flurry of activity.

He took a step back and yanked her away from the door when a small flock of technicians flew in to crowd the space they left behind.

Up high, far in the corner, Jory saw the dagger move against the curtain. And all of the good people of Waterdeep gasped when they watched the blade meet its mark.

"Fire in the hole," a technician murmured beside him, and the spotlight on the curtain went black.

Then a pair of spells were cast that bathed the audience in a blinding aurora. It blazed with ribbons of vivid blues and purples and greens, speckled with myriad glittering white stars.

And an arrow of roaring thunder was launched far overhead. It detonated with such a resounding boom that it shook everything, even the floor boards beneath Jory's feet. It rattled seats and drinking vessels, it toppled music stands, and it made Erik's staircase sway alarmingly as it was wheeled backstage, with him still riding precariously at its top.

Shayla Moonsong's face fell into her hands.

"Go on," Erik sang as he danced his way down the stairs. "Tell me how devastating I was. Don't hold back. Tell me everything."

"You were spectacular, my love!" Velanthyr assured him as they ran to greet him, cradling his face in their hands and kissing him sweetly. "You always are."

"Were they weeping?" he asked his lover, nuzzling their face with his own. "The lights are so bright, I can never see."

"They were drowning in their tears, darling. Drowning."

"Is everything alright?" Sara asked as she approached on her tiptoes, reaching for Shayla's arm. Velanthyr's wig drooped at her side, forgotten. "What can I do?"

"I can't even look," Shayla whimpered through the palms that smothered her face.

"Oh honey," Sara cooed as she pulled the woman closer. And in a blessed act of mercy, she asked the question that no one wanted to ask, but someone needed to. Long before now, before this critical point had been breached.

"He's out there, isn't he?"

"I think I've made a huge mistake." Shayla slid her fingertips down to press against her lips, unable to form any other words. She could only shake her head, her eyes as wide as dinner plates.

"Do you want us to look? See if we can see him?"

"I don't think I wanna know."

"Where is he seated?"

"E6."

"Oh." Sara briefly grimaced at Jory, but didn't stop rubbing circles across Shayla's back. "Front and center. Of course."

"Yep." The way her lips popped at the end of the word only served to emphasize how mortified she was. "Wouldn't want him to miss anything."

"Well, of course not. He's your guest," Sara replied, jerking her chin in a way that suggested Jory had been volunteered for reconnaissance.

"Oh gods!" Shayla raked her claws past her horns to twist them into her hair. "I even told him he could invite his mother!"

"Well that's a perfectly reasonable thing to do, one would think."

Jory understood his assignment. He sauntered away but paused at the door frame. The show wasn't over yet. When the technicians finished collecting their gear, they scrambled off to safely stow their rockets and retrieve the set pieces for the final scenes. They were dragging the staircase away from the main thoroughfare when Corinne, the woman who played the narrator, whipped past them.

"Coming through," she chimed, racing out to center stage, taking her place before the curtains could rise once more. Her final soliloquy would lead them into the epilogue, and would give Jory the opportunity he needed to cast his eyes past the orchestra pit and across the section of seats that lie beyond.

Front and center.

He would only have a minute or two. Sara would need to replace Velanthyr's wig. Erik needed a drink and Nelsyn's makeup needed a touch up. Very soon they would be on stage, the lights burning holes through their retinas, leaving them blinded and oblivious to all but each other and the saga they would spin to its end. He reached up to buckle the clasp on the bear pelt that draped across his shoulders.

For now, it was the narrator's turn. But he was ready. And then the curtains rose.

He smashed his face against the door frame like a cat burglar. A shaft of light swung down upon the stage illuminating Corinne at its center, and Jory peered out into the darkness it left in its wake. He squinted until he found the end of the section behind the orchestra pit, and he started counting backwards from there.

But seat E6 was empty.

Certain he'd made a mistake, he counted back again to double check, to be extra sure.

But he was right the first time.

"It's empty," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

"What?" Shayla cried as she spun to face him.

"Yeah," he told her. "I counted twice to make sure I had the right seat, but no one's in it."

"Oh gods." She began to pace, wringing her hands. "What about the one next to it?"

"Which side?"

"Just tell me if you see an older woman."

"Umm, okay." At first he wasn't certain. There was a child on the right side, but on the left was a person who'd stood up, and was bent with their back toward him, like they were reaching for something. "I think… maybe. Yeah. I think so. It looks like she's getting up. She's picking up a bag or something. Is that a cat?"

"Tara?"

"Who brings a cat to a -"

"She's not a cat. She's a tressym."

"What the hell is a tress- holy shit, it's got wings! It just flew over - oh! Oh, I think I see him!"

"Where!"

The tressym sailed through the air to float beside a tall, slender man who was moving quickly up the aisle toward the exit. He wasn't running, out of proper respect for social decorum, but he had the energy of a man who wished he was. His shoulders were hitched up near his ears and he was stifling his mouth with the back of one hand.

And a shiver ran down Jory's spine.

This was the guy. The wizard. The real one.

Gale Dekarios, of Waterdeep.

In the flesh. Right there.

From what little Jory could see, the play had done him justice. He was a very handsome man, lithe and lean, long-legged with a powerful stride, and every bit as comely as Erik had depicted him to be.

Yet it was hard to imagine, through simple sight alone, that this was a man who had once been the Chosen of a god. Or that this was a man who had once vanquished the avatar of Death itself. A man who had put an end to the Cult of the Absolute.

A man who had once made his own decision about whether or not to plunge a dagger into his heart.

But it was easy to see why Shayla would want to stop him. This man clearly meant something to her.

He didn't know what providence deemed it necessary for him to ask. It certainly wasn't any of his business. But the question tumbled out of his mouth, unbidden. Perhaps the gods themselves just wanted to hear someone finally say it out loud.

"Does he know how you feel about him?"

Shayla slumped and let her hands fall limp to her sides. She pulled her lip into her mouth, and her eyes swam with visions of regret. "No," she whispered to him. "It was never the right time."

Oh, how irony could be so cruel.

"You should go after him, then," he told her. "Go quick. If you hurry, you can catch him before he gets to the front door."

"Shit!" she snarled and for a moment, Jory was afraid she'd scurry across the stage in the middle of Corinne's long and emotional speech. There was a wild streak in him that almost hoped she would. But instead, she bolted through the loading bay doors and flung herself outside, presumably to tear down the alley between the theater and the wine cellar to run around the building toward the front.

Nelsyn wandered over to them, sipping cold water from her mug and watching over her shoulder as the loading bay doors swung back and forth on their hinges.

"Jory," she stated flatly. "What did you do."

"What?!" he cried. Sara could only double over and laugh at him. "I didn't do anything!"

"Somebody did something," she said, eyeing the doors skeptically. "And it looks a lot like it was you."

"I'm serious! She asked if we could see him, and I told her yes. That's all."

"See who?"

"The wizard!"

"What wizard? You mean, like… Erik?"

"No!" He stuck out both hands and shook them. "The actual wizard! The real one, from Waterdeep! Yes, he's still alive! No, he didn't explode!"

"Well, everybody knows that…"

"She wanted to know where he was, so I told her, and then she ran out the door."

"Wait. So he was actually here tonight?"

"Jory," Sara accused him, still smiling pitifully at him as she crossed her arms over her chest. "That's not all you said to her."

"But I didn't -"

"You asked her a pretty personal question."

"Where was he sitting?" Nelsyn continued as she took another drink and leered at him over the rim over her mug.

"E6."

"Wow. Front and center."

"Yeah. She didn't want him to miss anything."

"So what did you ask her?"

Jory could only roll his eyes and sigh. None of them had time for this. He dropped his head and pinched his brow between his thumb and his forefinger but when he looked up, he found all eyes were on him. Even Erik and Velanthyr had paused their conversation long enough to turn around and stare. The technicians in the back tried to appear as if they weren't listening, but everyone knew they were. Suddenly, he could feel the heat that was trapped beneath the heavy mantle of his bear pelt.

"I asked her if he knew how she felt about him."

"What do you mean, how she felt…" And through the window of her eyes he could see her mentally calculating every single word she'd just sung. Right in front of the very man it was all intended for. Seated front and center, missing nothing. Her eyes flickered like golden flames.

"Holy shit," she breathed. "Like… feelings? Real ones? What did she say?"

He didn't get to answer. Just then, raucous applause erupted from behind them. The thunderous retort of clapping hands and cheers drowned all other sound, and signaled to them all that their time was up. Corinne came skipping backstage as the curtains fell behind her.

"And that's a wrap for me! Slam and a dunk! Go get 'em while they're - what's going on?"

"The wizard was here tonight," Nelsyn answered her without breaking her eye contact with Jory. "The real one. Shayla is in love with him. What did she sayyy?"

"No," he told her, holding very still while Sara dabbed a powder puff over his face. "She said no. He doesn't know."

"Are you serious?" Corinne gasped, pressing a hand to her heart.

"Well he does now," Sara chuckled, wriggling her eyebrows as she dropped the powder back into her cosmetics case. "I hope she caught him before he got away. He deserves an explanation."

And all around them, activity buzzed. Scenic backdrops rolled by, the intern fussed with Velanthyr's wig on her tiptoes, Sara dug frantically around searching for her lip stain, and the other actors began lining up to take their places. But in spite of the jubilant bustle of life happening all around them, Nelsyn could only stand with her mug in her hands, awestruck by the revelation they'd just been given.

"Sweet tapdancing Asmodeus," she laughed, shaking her head with her eyes transfixed on some far away place. "You mean to tell me that this whole time," she jostled the water in her mug when she bellowed, "THIS WHOLE TIME?! This whole play has been just a great big love letter to some… man?! For months?! And he only just heard it? Tonight? For the first time?"

"I think that about sums it up, yep," Sara told her, taking the mug from her hands.

"That's genius!" She shuffled to her place in line, utterly befuddled, her eyes glassy and glazed. "They're star-crossed, it's perfect! I wish this would've happened months ago! Just you wait, you'll see. When all the little fan fic authors out there find out about this? They are gonna go berserk! People everywhere will pay money for a vial of our sweat! The contents of our chamber pots - we'll be famous!

"Gods have mercy on us all. There might even be a sequel. We'll be touring this show til the day we die!"

************************************************************************

[emwheezie]

Do you have some fun facts about Enzo to share? Just wanna to know the guy a bit better.

This is Enzo Vincenzo! I've gotten a TON of asks about him, but was waiting to finish some art and work his story/character a bit more before answering! He's a character we thought up in 2014-15ish, but only recently worked in depth on his development. Pre apologies here, I'm longwinded when talking about my characters! (also it is 3:13am and I'm feeling silly)

Enzo is a secondary character in the comic, friend of the main character kind of deal. My cowriter and I love Enzo and are very happy that everyone else seems to like him too! We are making sure to develop all our characters as much as the two main characters so that we can create as rich of a story/universe as possible. (like we have so much content you could pick any random minor character and be like "them. make a spinoff about them" and we could just do that immediately we have so much content my brain is going to explode)

Enzo and Lennon are high school buddies who met sophomore year, shortly before Lennon dropped out. (peep the bottom art of them from their HS years)

Him and Lennon are big into movies. They binge watch them over the weekends or when he's convinced by Lennon to skip classes for the day.

Enzo loves to draw, especially dragons and horror related stuff. He posts his drawings on DeviantArt where he met xXHexiLexi328Xx and fell in love with her. She's also an artist who loves to draw super kawaii anime chibis magical girls and pokemon stuff.

No one thinks Hexi Lexi is a real person. Everyone's like "awh poor Enzo, still single...you'll find someone, buddy." But she's real and from Arkansas. (like that state even exists?)

Enzo loves knives. His favorite one is a switchblade engraved with the name "Colleen." He found Colleen at a Goodwill while he and Lennon were looking for parts to build a "Saw trap." (you know, from the Saw franchise) Enzo thinks he's Billy The Puppet from Saw...I mean, high school Enzo kind of had the same poofy hair and I'm not gonna be the one to tell him he didn't look like that puppet.

Somewhere along the way, early in their friendship, Lennon is convinced Enzo killed his parents. Lennon's never seen Enzo with his parents so I guess that's the only solution, right? It becomes a longstanding rumor/joke... and Lennon's like wow Enzo that's so cool I'm friends with a literal murderer. (Lennon is dumb).

Enzo once wanted to become a priest but then he remembered he was evil.

Enzo is Albanian-Italian and grew up in Cambridge, MA living with his parents and grandparents. His parents are super religious people who work at the restaurant his grandparents own, located in the North End of Boston.

It's a joke that Enzo's like never heard a music once in his life before meeting Lennon who introduced him to guitar. (He's rhythm guitar in Lennon and Tony's band Poison Boy Club)

I feel like I've said a lot of words and stuff. I feel like there's more but it's now 3:40am and my brain is mush. OH later on, Enzo really hones in on his art skills and gets into tattooing, earning himself an internship at a local studio.

Overall, Enzo's a cool, confident dude who's a little scary in a "big guard dog" type of way, but he's a loyal friend and does his own thing and he's with that.

[nycbaby21]

Mackie Samoskevich Imagine

prompt: inspired by an ask for @ijustreallylovethem

Where the reader and Mackie aren't public with their relationship and Dylan accidentally posts a picture of them

word count: 1,481

“Hey guys,” I say sitting down at the table and taking a seat next to Mackie, placing a small kiss on his cheek. He blushes and smiles. “Hey baby,” he whispers grabbing my hand under the table. We had been together for around four months now but we were trying to keep it quiet. We both have seen what the other guys have gone through with fangirls being rude to their girlfriends and Mackie didn’t want to put me through that. I was thankful for that because I remember last year hearing one of them cry because of the hate comments on her posts. It was easy for us to still be around each other and be kind of touchy because I have been friends with the guys since last year.

“You guys are so cute,” Dylan smiles staring at us. “Thanks, Dyl,” I laugh squeezing Mack’s hand, he gets flustered really easily. “Okay before he starts on an hour-long rant about how you two are his favorite couple ever, let’s talk about Saturday night,” Ethan shifts the attention away from us, which Mackie is happy about. It’s really cute how he is so confident about everything else like hockey and school but he gets all nervous and shy around other people. Which is the opposite of what he was before we started dating.

“What’s Saturday,” I asked picking up a piece of fruit off my plate and eating it. Mark opens his mouth but I quickly stop him,” Estapa if you say it’s for the boys I am going to throw this grape at your head.” Everyone laughs while Mark says it anyway just to mess with me. I throw the grape and he catches it in his mouth. Mark was actually the reason I became friends with the other guys. We partnered together on a project at the beginning of last year and I’ve been stuck with them ever since, not that I mind. 

“Some of the guys are coming over to watch the game,” Luke says before gathering his things. He and Mark had a class across campus so they started heading that way early. “See you guys,” Mark says swiping another grape from my plate. I roll my eyes at him and flip him off. He gives me a big grin and catches up with Luke. The guys start talking about what they need to grab for the gathering and I put my head on Mackie’s shoulder. Dylan stops mid-sentence and takes a picture of us. “Dylan seriously knock it off,” Mackie pleads while Ethan smacks him on the back of the head. 

“Okay we gotta go, but I’ll come over tonight after practice. Does that work for you,” I say sitting up and turning towards my boyfriend. He gives me a nod and stands up with me. He grabs all of my things and puts them in Dylan’s arms, who I have in my next class. “Sounds good. I’ll see you then,” he gives me a quick hug and grabs his stuff too. Ethan rounds the table and throws himself on me. I laugh and try to keep him up while attempting to hug him back. “I just needed a hug, since someone says he can’t anymore,” Ethan says dramatically glancing over at Mackie. “Sorry all reserved for my girlfriend buddy,” he jokes. “Yeah we’ll see about that Samo,” Ethan says before running at him with his arms open. 

Dylan and I watch the two of them run for a second before finally heading to class. “I can carry that Dyl,” I say trying to take my stuff back. “Y/n it’s two books and a laptop I think I can handle it,” he laughs rolling his eyes. I just give up because I know he isn’t gonna budge. “Does it actually bother you when I talk about how cute you and Mack are,” he asks while we walk in step. “No way. I mean it makes him flustered but it doesn’t bother either of us. The guys are just giving you a hard time Dyl,” I say placing my hand on his arm and patting it. “Besides if you didn’t take all of those pictures of us, I wouldn’t have this cute lock screen,” I show him. It was one of us after a game Mackie hugging me from behind as I tried to get away because he was super sweaty. We were both laughing and it was one of my favorites.

With my last class of the day being canceled, I was finished for the day and headed to the guys’s house. As I got there I noticed I still had at least a couple of hours before they got home. I started straightening up around the house so the boys didn’t have to come in all tired and do it. After finishing that I made my way to the kitchen and started making something for dinner. My choices were limited obviously, but they did have everything to make pasta with. After getting that started I grabbed the things I would need for brownies and got those ready.

The food was done and I was mixing the batter when I heard five very loud hockey players enter the house. They all followed the sound of my music and the smell of the food into the kitchen. “Oh my god I love you,” Luke says making his way into the kitchen first. “For cleaning or for cooking,” I laugh putting the bowl on the counter and looking for a pan. “Both,” he says grabbing a bowl and putting food onto it. The guys all quickly follow suit and while they are pushing and shoving to try and get some first, Mackie comes up behind me and puts his head on my shoulder. I relax and lean back into him.

“Thank you. You do know that you don’t have to do all of this right? We will all still love you even if you don’t,” he says before kissing my cheek. “Speak for yourself. I would actually love you a little less if you stopped taking care of us,” Mark jokes and I whacked with the rubber spatula I had on the counter near me. We all sat down and started eating and Dyaln took a picture of me sitting on Mackie’s lap with a bowl of pasta we were sharing. “I am so sending this to the group chat and bragging to the freshies,” he says and we smile at the camera. After everyone was done and the brownies were cooling, the boys did the dishes while I set up the TV in the living room. 

Last week the guys were going out and Mackie and I decided to stay in and watch something. I put on Pretty Little Liars because I was making Mackie watch it for the first time. One by one each guy had come downstairs after getting ready to wait for the others. Slowly each guy started watching it and then asking questions and I finally started it all over so we could all watch it together. 

“Okay, so how many times are we actually gonna see this video of her in the yellow shirt saying that,” Luke asks and I laugh because I thought the same thing when I first watched it. “Only a couple dozen more times,” my answer makes them all groan. The girls all got a text on the screen and my phone started going off. Five sets of eyes snap my way,” seriously,” I laugh checking my phone. I see tons of new followers and texts from some of my friends. “Dyl didn’t you say you sent that picture to the group chat,” I ask pausing the show. “Yeah, why,” he asks looking up from his spot on the ground.

I pull up his Instagram story and show him that he actually posted it on his story and not into the chat. “Oh shit. I am so sorry guys. I’ll go delete it now,” he fumbles with his phone trying to delete it. “Don’t worry about it. Leave it up,” Mackie says pulling it up on his phone and reposting it to his story. “You sure,” I ask and he leans over and gives me a quick peck on the lips. “Yeah. As long as you are,” he looks at me. I nod and scroll through and share it with my story too. “So you guys aren’t mad at me,” Dylan asks. “No Dyl. We could never be mad at our number one supporter,” I ruffle his hair and smile. After posting it, we both turn our phones on Do Not Disturb and I play the show. “So does this mean I can post the album of pictures I have of you know,” he asks already scrolling through trying to pick his favorites.

[pocketgalaxies]

would u be able to describe how marishas body language as keyleth differs from e.g. laudna? like laudna does the creepy hands a lot and plays with her hair, what abt keyleth? (sorry i havent seen c1 but i love marisha and her roleplay style fascinates me🙏)

hmmmm i have a hard time putting it into words and it's been a minute since i last watched c1, i think there would be plenty of people out there better equipped to do this than me lol but i think it just comes down to the core tenets of each character and how that's reflected in the way they take up space in the world

keyleth is, esp early campaign, very jittery and anxious and naive about the world. she sits at the edge of her seat with wide eyes and a big smile, and she feels things to the extreme which often translates to big movements. but the movements often feel jittery too, like there's the slowness of awkwardness/hesitation combined with the high speed of anxiety, if that makes sense? she's also not particularly graceful a lot of the time, almost like she's got too much limb and she doesn't quite know what to do with it. i think she becomes a lot more fluid and settled late campaign, which is kinda cool bc her arc is literally about how she learns to take up space in the world with confidence and purpose, but the kind of open upright posture and awkward lanky movements are always there a little bit because that's just who she is

on the other hand laudna is more comfortable in her own skin and is quite intentional about the way she presents herself, which translates to more fluid and idiosyncratic gestures that are often flourished and sweeping. laudna and keyleth are both start-and-stop with their movement, but with keyleth it feels more like she doesn't know what she's going to do until she does it, whereas laudna's abrupt and exaggerated movements from stillness are often controlled and appear to be her preferred way of getting from position A to B, if that makes sense. also just in terms of Anxiety, laudna's translates more physically to pulling on her hair etc while keyleth doesn't necessarily change her physicality as much as she just talks and talks and talks dkfjsdf. and for completion's sake laudna also sits with a different posture from keyleth, often hunched over with her shoulders raised a bit. more closed off, ready to pounce (and scare u) sort of vibe

not that you asked but beau is also v different from keyleth and laudna which is to be expected! i obviously haven't made it super far in c2 yet but from what i've seen, beau's physicality is all about Stillness and confidence, which tracks with both her personality and her monk background. i think one of the anchoring postures for beau is definitely leaning back in the chair, arms crossed, chin up - a bit protective of herself but also aggressive in the way that she's non-verbally DARING you to do that shit. there's not a lot of extraneous movement with beau, just like there's not a lot of extraneous words spoken by her. she's also a fan of extremely direct eye contact, similarly unmoving like laudna's but a lot less creepy/unsettling and a lot more piercing into the center of your soul to carve the truth out of your chest sort of thing

anyway not sure if that explains anything at all for you but a lot of it is just the Vibes that she puts out so it's hard to explain for someone who isn't actually analyzing this stuff or well-practiced at putting it into words dkfjskdfs

[ryuichirou]

Thanks for feeding us neigevil fans. I love your art so seeing you drawing this ship makes me happy, may the gods of twst gacha be kind to you 🥰

Idk if anyone has asked but thoughts or headcanons of neigevil? What about Rollo?

(We got this ask after this art)

Thank you so much for showing our stuff so much love, NeigeVil fans <3 It means a lot! And I, once again, am sorry that it took me a long time to reply. Like I’ve probably mentioned before, I want to draw these two again at some point. But today is not the day; instead, today is the day you get your headcanons, Anon!

Also if you haven’t seen these yet, here is the link to our post with Rollo-centric headcanons. We love this boy very much, and we’re super excited that he got himself a pretty-looking card.

Alrighty, so Neige/Vil…

Neige has a crush on Vil, and this crush has been with him ever since their first meeting. But he isn’t really sure about the nature of these feelings. He is very open about them with his dwarf friends though: sometimes he comes back from work happy and singing because he met Vil after his photoshoot and had a chat with him. So they all know that he is either in love or just really really really wants to be Vil’s friend. Neige isn’t sure which one it is either.

Neige remembers how cool and professional Vil looked when they first met, how he shook his hand and stuff. It wasn’t Vil’s first time on set, even though it was his first role, so he really made Neige feel comfortable by just being so confident and relaxed and excited. Neige really treasures this memory, but Vil doesn’t seem to remember much of it.

But what Vil does remember is that he thought they were going to become friends back then. Maybe it was because Neige asked him to be his friend, maybe it was because they had a lot of fun that day, but unfortunately it was one of many potential friendships that got ruined by the adults comparing these two to each other. It was pretty early on when Vil decided that he’d never be Neige’s friend. Neige is kind of oblivious to this whole thing though, he thinks that Vil is his friend, and the main reason he’s so distant is that he is just way too cool and professional and busy to hang out with him.

Vil has influenced Neige’s style a lot. He has no idea just how much time Neige spends looking at his magicam and taking notes and trying very hard to find clothes that would look as if Vil has picked them for him. If you talked to him about it, he would chuckle and say that he is too shy to ask Vil directly.

Which isn’t a complete truth though: he isn’t really shy around Vil. He gets so excited that he forgets about his shyness entirely and starts talking and clinging to Vil and trying to make him pay attention to him. He is completely enamored and he stares a lot at him in general. He really wishes they’d spend more time together…

A lot of times Vil just rolls eyes at Neige (always sneakily though, he knows better than to show a fellow actor his distaste for him), but he does admire his professionalism. And yes, there are moments when he thinks that Neige isn’t just overly cute and sweet, but actually quite a good-looking guy. Not entirely his type, but still handsome nonetheless…. Why is he thinking about it, again?

Vil is, like I mentioned, oblivious about Neige’s feelings. If anything, he believes that Neige is simply being a nice innocent boy and is friendly with everyone, so there isn’t anything special about the way he treats Vil. But jokes on you, Vil, because every single selfie with you that Neige takes instantly become Neige’s phone lock screen for weeks, until his management asks him to change it into something else.

Neige doesn’t have a lot of selfies with Vil though, because Vil always comes up with an excuse to avoid it. He is either in a hurry, or doesn’t feel good, or has a bad hair day, there’s always something that prevents Neige from taking a selfie with Vil. So it’s kind of a personal mission for Neige at this point lol Their fanbases also crave for this selfie… The day NeigeVil finally drop a picture of them together, the internet is going to explode.

A couple of spicy ones; if these two were to find themselves in any kind of intimate situation (even if it’s just a pretend thing for a role or something), Neige would comment about how much more experienced Vil is, and how he’ll work hard to be on his level. This comment sounds horrible to Vil in any context: the idea of Neige working hard to be a perfect lover to him is too cursed to consider. But it’ll still make him blush.

And jokes on Vil once again, because Neige is such a fast learner, that one moment he is a very sloppy kisser, and then suddenly he kisses and touches his body in all the right places because “he just felt like it’d make Vi-kun feel nice there”. Vil is going to both get overwhelmed by how good it feels, and be in agony because fuck you Neige stop being a prodigy at everything.

[inchidentally]

this is so stupid and overthought and pointless but lol it's me sooooo

like I literally got into f1blr through videos of Lando following Carlos and Daniel around and finding them absolutely hilarious and just being their personal squealing little chew toy/satellite. so believe me I LOVE that. and god knows I've written enough about how Lando needed/sometimes still needs to hide behind these big bold alpha personalities.

but I think the ??? that transpired for some of us over the gradual blossoming of Lando's dynamic with Oscar had a lot to do with how much Lando opened up in front of our eyes bc of his new position w Oscar and how that developed. he literally said how much it felt weird for him to imagine himself in the older/more experienced position and you can see in the super early content how much Lando couldn't get a read on Oscar bc there wasn't the usual bromance stuff he's so used to. but Oscar also was so mature and calm that he didn't need Lando to do for him what Carlos and Daniel were for him.

and it seems so stupid but it's almost like Oscar hitting that growth spurt and his voice getting a little deeper sort of clicked things into place for Lando?? bc Oscar had been living alone and cooking for himself and in a serious relationship for years and he didn't need anyone to raise him or protect him like Lando needed as a rookie. and he had lived away from his family or a support system from around 14/15 so he was fully used to finding his way around and navigating new places largely alone.

but him getting taller and broader suddenly fit with his personality so much better. he didn't have his cherub Prema face clashing with how cool and confident he was anymore.

and obv Oscar has always said how much he learned just from observing Lando as one of the fastest guys on the grid, but also Lando has emphasized how much he has learned from Oscar about mentality and staying true to yourself. so again there wasn't any need for Lando to try and be big brother/mother hen.

but!! you know what Lando got to teach Oscar? and what Oscar had trained for years to be the most apt pupil about?

Lando!

bc we never really got to 'learn' Lando as a person before now unless it was on his streams, his content with Max F or his own social media content. his friendships with the other F1 guys are all a variation of bromance since they all love him - but all of them are based on Lando being the introvert among extroverts and bonding over shared activities and interests. not a lot of Lando personality stuff gets revealed around those guys bc he's Just Baby.

but w Oscar Lando came to realize he could roll whatever Mood he was in at him and Oscar would smile and laugh or make feeble resistance and give in anyway - and Oscar took all of it in. he literally already had a fairly encyclopedic Lando knowledge as we well know now but he just ?? never got bored of watching and learning Lando! whether it's Lando's music blaring through the shared wall or Lando not being able to open things or pronounce words or Lando specifically not liking something or not wanting to do something or Lando wanting Oscar to give a different answer or wanting Oscar to agree with him instead - Oscar smiles and patiently files it away.

which is exactly what Max does with Lando. at some point he clearly realized that the best way to get Lando to open up and trust - not unlike an outdoor cat - was to be part anthologist and part nature documentary narrator. Lando only opens up when he knows he has the space to. he gets so genuinely upset at how often the media or fans won't follow his original meaning or look past awkward wording or misuse his original tone. it's why he said he often loves being around people who will lead the conversation and not put pressure on him to talk.

bc for example, Carlos was only joking when he said that Lando needs to mature or how he'd "scold" Lando for being too silly and not paying attention, but to some people it's used as confirmation that Lando's immature. Daniel loved when he'd get Lando to laugh so hard that Lando couldn't do his to-camera work or require millions of takes, but to some people it's seen as Lando not taking anything seriously. it's so easy to take someone as vulnerable and unedited as Lando and slice out one video or one moment and create a false narrative around him. you can see the times when Lando has slunk away from social media and gone a bit mum or dull in his media work when that happens.

but Max and Oscar are there to act as interpreters for the audience at home! Lando drops off to sleep during a Quadrant shoot? Max explains that this is standard procedure wherever he is. Lando is far too hyper for a challenge and won't let Oscar breathe without giving him a hard time? Oscar laughs and gently ribs him back to let people know that it's all in good fun and Lando isn't actually on a tear. Lando winds Max up mercilessly or accidentally reveals that Max has a gf? Max makes sure everyone knows he's joking when he gets "mad" and later on says how much Lando looks out for him. Lando won't let Oscar make his own choices in a silly F1 quiz? Oscar feigns being hard done by but he also says how good Lando's answers are. they do this all the time with him and we see Lando more vocal and more loudly himself with them bc they translate what he can't.

it clearly isn't easy being someone bursting with about fifty different personality traits at once and just as many passionate interests all vying with dyslexia and hyperactivity mixed with introversion and sometimes crippling shyness. it's very easy to love that person - which is why the entire grid does - but it's not easy to understand them or what they need in any given moment.

so I feel like that's what we've gotten out of the Lando/Oscar dynamic that we haven't seen before with Carlos or Daniel. Oscar isn't ever going to be a big personality and he's self-described as "low frequency" - he won't be winding Lando up for fun or bringing energy that makes Lando bounce off the walls. he's also found Lando fascinating almost from his first year moving to the UK. so as fans we love seeing Lando get to have a teammate who loves the business of observing Lando - but we also love getting to see so much more of Lando as a result if that makes sense??

[stackslip]

Just wanted to say I love your fma 2003 posts. While I do think the original story is more cohesive and stuff, I think that the stuff they did with the 03 show is really interesting and provides a lot of cool angles on the character. It's a completely different story after a certain point with its own merit, and I think that it gives a lot of development to the characters in fascinating ways. I feel like seeing it added depth to my appreciation of the story. There's juicy bits in there that I wish were in the original and I'm just glad they were explored and that I'm not the only one who loves it. :))

sorry i took so late to respond lol

i think the og IS a lot more cohesive and planned out, and more consistent in quality! it's just that i don't think it's much to write home about either. it's a very solid fun shounen and as long as you don't think too deep about its implications, it's definitely a lot better written than 90% of mainstream shounen. and i can see the appeal in that, i genuinely do. i don't think 03 is to everyone's taste, even outside of people for whom og fma is comfort food, for whom even a slight deviation feels Wrong because that's their emotional support anime or whatever. like, i'm a fucking dbz fan always and forever you know? i don't have room to say "why do people enjoy mangahood better, it's so much less mature than 03" bc i still get pumped and emo from super saiyan transformations. i do wish these fans at least would understand WHY one might have frustrations with the themes of the story and what it does with very serious subjects lol

i do think that 03 is its own story but i don't think it's its own story "from a certain point". yes the early anime follows a lot of the manga's story, albeit rearranging it differently. but i'd argue that it's different in essence from the very start. its tone it starkly different from the manga, which is and remains a Cool Mystery Action Shounen. fma 03 from its very first episode leans more into brooding and psychological horror territory, even outside of the extra gore. even the subtle changes it makes early in the story aren't just to change/"improve" or adapt the manga's story, but to set up what they do when 03 REALLY departs from the manga's storyline. ed and al's characters are, i'd argue, leagues away from their og counterparts by ep 10--the flashback and making them go through all that trauma at age 12 really sets up that 15 year old ed isn't a confident shitlord like he is in the og, but a deeply insecure and guilt ridden teenager forced to grow up too fast and hiding his insecurities behind a mask of confidence. al is still kind and polite, but also a lot more ruthless and even more dependent on his brother than the og one is--the sensory deprivation and dysmorphia from the armour is cutting him off from other humans than his brother, and a lot of his own doubts and anguish at his situation begin eating at him to the point that when barry throws out the "you're an artificial person" accusation, al's brain immediately latches onto it because he's been wondering if he's even human for years.

i do think 03 has pits and valleys in terms of quality--but honestly i'm fine with it (bar a few genuinely infuriating decisions such as the transmisogynist serial killer trope in ep 8), it's a 2000s anime that was insanely ambitious and butting against the author and funding, some episodes visibly have a shoestring budget and while it remains thematically consistent you can very clearly see moments/places where the production committe threw in "hey uhhhhhh put in more kimblee he's popular" or "we're not giving you more episodes sorry. wrap it all up in three". do i wish a more consistent version of the show existed, meticulously planned out and with all the time and money in the world they needed existed? yes. would that version have been perfect? not necessarily tbh!

but really, 03 has a number of strong decisions and genuinely genius twists on the og that make it very hard for me to come back to the fma manga without feeling deeply underwhelmed. i like greedling so, so much--i just don't like him enough to not feel really bitter about how lust is treated in the manga. i genuinely love the scene where ed swears he'll get al's body's back at the gate, 10/10 shounen scene--but also, there's the scene ed happily tells al that after digging up their mom's body it turns out the transmutation they did had nothing to do with their mom, and every time i'm like "this is so stupid and i wish they'd kept the failed transmutation homonculi". the absolute heights of fma as a manga never ever manage to hit nearly as strongly to me as 03's does, because og fma will always feel just..... lacking in ambition and in depth, where imo in some aspects fma 03 still hasn't been outdone. where can i find something like the 03's homonculi? how many narratives are there that celebrate a character like scar instead of playing the trope of the Well Meaning Extremist Who Kicks A Puppy? this is a real question btw send them to me immediately i need them.

[9800sblog]

https://www.tumblr.com/4433xyz/722490798444347392/did-my-daily-energy-check-in-on-mingi-and?source=share

Hi, would you mind doing the same reading for yeosang or other mmbrs career?and share if you don't mind any pressure, though

ateez tarot reading

next big thing in each member's career

do I have their energy permission to do and share this reading? the emperor, 6 of wands

this is based on tarot and energy reading, don't trust me or rely on my words ☝️

seonghwa

something he used to do or enjoy predebut, a collaboration of some kind, he still developing this skill. it's emotional, intense, scary, a bit aggressive, he gotta juggle a lot at once, speed is also important. so this is making me think of rap, like getting an official position as one, which in ateez's case includes writing lyrics too. big stuff. the idea of a concept is important here too.

this year, next year, around his birthday, numbers 3, 6, 4 stood out.

hongjoong

his spread makes me think of rapping and collabing too (lil uzi vert x ateez 🧍‍♂️). hongjoong has got many options, this next big step is gonna bring him much visibility, he's gonna be showing off a lot, there's a lot of shimmer, which may be related to fashion. he's in a position of big authority delegating this and that, it's an emotional step for him, maybe a dream come true. the next big thing for hongjoong may be a clothing line or something similar 😭🫂

3 is a very consistent number here, 2 and 4 also. this is the consequences of his actions, gradual growth, completely inevitable, may start this year or next year, and get really done around this time of year 2025/6, september may be an important month for this project.

yunho

yunho might be acting again soon. this seems to be in it's early stages yet, like audition process. it's dreamy, a big big deal, it's emotional too, he seems nervous about it. I did read a while ago that yunho may soon live romance vicariously through fantasy and tv.

8 is an important number, may already be in progress, 6 and 3 also consistent. 2024, august, beginning of the year is important too.

yeosang

this spread can be interpreted as the end of his work as an mc in the show, and/or a new opportunity in a different but equally popular program in korean television. this is a skill he already has developed and is proud of, but doesn't get to use often, this would have more national than international reach. it's an opportunity that brings him liberation and excitement but makes him unsure because of real-life complications.

11, 2, 9, date calculation is not reliable for this reading, but the number 11 was super consistent.

san

a solo thing, for sure. his next big thing is related to his individuality and emotional maturity, this has to do with what makes his soul happy. it's an emotional thing that makes him look careless but he's very well prepared and thought about this a lot. the next big step in his career is a path not usually taken, it's scary, he doesn't know what comes next, anything can happen. this requires a lot of self control and introspection. I'm not sure what it is, san is quite secretive these days, but the cards may indicate romance depending on the perspective. this may be the revelation of something very important to him, changing the perspective of the general public, requires a leap of faith.

next august, this was really sure. when he feels confident.

mingi

mingi's thing has to do with discomfort, energy renewal, soul searching and is a big deal, makes him unsure. it's probably something unseen to the general public. mingi may get a big celebrity as a mentor backstage, become a guide for a big name or even take another break, either way, it's his destiny, he needs this. this may somehow relate to his future spouse, like he accumulates money or meets them because of this. it's something he's used to doing but still feels intimidating for him. this may be music, which he usually writes in a very personal and metaphorical manner.

he'll have to lose something to win something even bigger, really important for his future. may start or have started this year and "end" next year. numbers 8 and 7 are very consistent.

wooyoung

connection, relationships, fighting, competing. he comes out successful but not without making enemies along the way, it's almost like a scandal, which may make him look immature or have to do with the way he was brought up/his family. this may have international reach and make him influential, it's probably to do with his artistic side or his opinions. this is something he'll learn from and may taint his image.

november or september of this year or next, maybe next chuseok holiday (description reminds me of isac

jongho

ALL royalty cards, this is a really really big deal, a big influence, big position, maybe an authority figure. something he feels extremely comfortable, maybe even casual in/doing, he has accumulated skill and easily shines in (definitely to do with singing), very likely a solo thing but I see a big, influential female energy, someone or something he may be a fan of.

may happen on his b-day this year

[simlicious]

Personal update 😃

I have not done a personal update for quite some time, so here it is! Today, I dreamed that it was suddenly the 1st of December and I had nothing prepared for my advent calendar yet and was feeling in over my head and thinking "Do I really want to do this again?!" Maybe my brain telling me to actually prepare patterns ahead of time this year and to start early? 🤔 I'll keep that in the back of my mind. I actually finally got Sims 4 running (let's see how long until the next patch breaks everything, maybe I have a few days left). I only want to play with tons of mods, which break all the time and are a pain to update, so I only do that procedure once or twice a year. When I actually get to play, I really like to immerse myself for a while until it is all over again. The funny thing is that I actually have fun playing because so many aspects are new to me (having fun in TS4 is almost unheard of, but apparently it can really happen 😆). Building and CAS are so much fun too! I'm not exactly a gameplay blog and not sure how many of you want to see TS4 on here anyway, so I doubt there will be many pics. I get super frustrated whenever I try to make sims in TS3 CAS, I guess I do not have some of y'all skills or the right CC at times (or do not know how to use it properly). In Sims 4, everything can be solved with a few skin overlays and I feel the weird head shape proportion thing that is so off in Sims 3 does not apply there, which makes everything easier. I do miss patterns though 🥲 I have been pretty preoccupied with other hobbies lately, I've been on a serious style rediscovery with my best friend, we discovered this style system called the Style Key and it is all about giving yourself permission to try out new things and your personal needs when choosing styles, which is really refreshing to all the systems that tell you "you cannot wear that with your body type!" So I've been trying things I did not actually dare to wear, like cute/playful outfits in pastel shades. I may wear the styles now that teenage me was too shy to wear and it feels great! I do not care anymore what other people may think about it. I recently discovered those colorful chunky plastic rings which surprisingly look good on me. I always felt like I could never really make jewelry work on me, and tried the tiniest minimalist pieces because everything felt "too much", but I have never tried the other extreme, the big chunky stuff because I told myself "that could never work". Turns out that trying out stuff instead of limiting myself feels really great and yields surprising results! And I feel more confident too because my outfits are fun and make me happy, and I am more relaxed if I feel happy too. In the Style Key system, I think I'm a Ruby (left-down quadrant) and I think the archetype "Spicy Girl Next Door" fits pretty nicely for me. The biggest takeaway for me is the realization that outfits have to "feel right" for me, not for anybody else and I do not dress to please anyone, but to help me feel good in my own skin and take into account my comfort needs and feelings on that day when I choose what to wear. The Style Key is not a system that tells you exactly what to wear, but it helps you figure out what you need your style to do for you and go from there. It's a bit daunting to get into because it is really so different from other systems and includes rather abstract theory/unusual concepts that are not really that intuitive, but the videos on the youtube channel really help to explain those concepts.

I also still work on some Python projects, but they're still a long way off from amounting to anything. But it's where I can use my problem-solving skills and just tinker around. I just really need something to bite my teeth into every now and then and that is perfect for it. 😊

[fractorian]

Mizuki Tsujimura Relationship HC's!

In another world, we were already friends

How it starts and how she is: -You can decide how you wish to meet her, whether it be you on the way home, in highschool, work, or even you falling on her apartmen't balcony! You're still her lover regardless

on a side note: you won't work out if you're an enemy cause- yeah

-Most likely it is her to confess due to the teasingbullying she endures with Ayatsuji and her other co-workers.

-And maybe even a little push from her superiors as well

-There is also... a big chance she said it while ranting to you and proceeded to run away after a quick short circuit

-At the beginning of the relationship, she's a whole loving mess. Like- really... a mess. You can name any love language and you'd be (un)surprised to know that she can do ollat- (it'll take time for her to tone it down)

-Still, despite that, she's clumsy and kind of awkward- not really experience in relationships. Her feelings for you are so intense that she wants to do EVERYTHING for you no matter how crazy/hsrs.

-She loves the feeling of warmth in her chest whenever you call her sweet names or do something for her- she's addicted. There is NO one who can be more heads-over-heels for you as her and that's for certain.

How she is in the relationship in general:

-Everything she does with you is based on what you like, not her own fantasy. She wants everything as real as they can get

-The type of person who wakes you up really early to eat breakfast with you before work. But if you're stubborn- dw she can eat by herself! But please eat the food she left just for you

-She's lowkey clingy but mostly in private cause she's a very professional person (so hardworking fr)

-Super happy and jumpy when you hold her hand- it's enough to loosen her up a bit

-She is also really honest in her words but may slightly sugarcoat stuff she thinks would hurt you or you wouldn't like to hear

-She thinks lying in a relationship is only an option if it's life or death

-Speaking of lying though- she *cough* uses it as a way to surprise you. "Happy Birthday!- sorry for lying to you earlier I wanted to surprise you :>"

-Okay- "now that's an exception" she says

-Can't tell if she's a jealous person or not but I suppose it depends on who you're with and how you interact. She will be too afraid to mention so but if you ask her about it she will tell.

-Doesn't stop you from making friends but keeps an eye out for the shady bitches.

-Help her pls how does she multitask all that with work

-Secretly asks some advice from random happy couples she sees cause she wants to make you happy

-What a cutiee <33

-Protects you from Ayatsuji cause that guy is always messing with her

-Out of all the Special Division, she's the easiest to prank due to her slightly gullible nature like when... Ayatsuji managed to make her make him coffee

-Though don't do it always- she has feelings, she loves you and will be slightly hurt that you can do that to her (unless it's a cute prank), and she's reallyyyyyy busy </3

-No matter how confident she is, she is afraid she doesn't spend much time with you which kinda bugs her

-You know how in each daily job she sets a goal for herself? You're about 50% of that goal

-She's motivated enough to see you everyday in your amazing style, unique personality, and hopefully some free time

-If you're not free, she's helping you. You can't stop her! It's the perfect time to flex that top-notch performance to you

-Doesn't matter how tired. She. is. right. there.

-She has beauty sleep but who cares- she's literally "strict"

-But if your lazy though, expect her to make you finish you work (as unconvincing as she is she tries)

-Takes her time to cook food for you. Like- legit tries lots of recipes that apparently suits your taste. Also cooks with you because there she gets to observe how you like it. (pls cook her food too it will make her really happy)

-You both alternate on what to watch. Spoiler alert: She chooses paranormal docs and totally James Bonde (and Legally Blonde)

-Don't even question it...

-When you do pick though, she sits through it even if it's crappy. She's happy if your happy!

-And if it makes you happy- she's all about what you like pretty much. You like to draw? She cleared her work load to go to an art museum with you! You like dress up? PERECT! She has quite an eye for these. You like anything !? HIT HER UP

-When you both play games together she lets you have your fun unless... you're really smug about your wins or the game is monopoly;

"YOU'RE GOING DOWN >:("

-She's competitive and it's a fact. If you still win after that she's just gonna accept her defeat and sob all the way homeee

-Big thing for her is when you style each other. Like hair, clothes, or makeup- doesn't matter your gender, she's ON

-Ofc you look the best cause Agent 4048 is always best girl

-She takes the day off when you're very sick or hurt. And by very, it's the really bad ones cause she's not gonna sacrifice her top-notch performance for a small cold!

-Unless it gets worse, contact her pls

-If she isn't availableshe's really guilty, she has someone do her a favor by checking in on you + every cost is on her

-You could have COVID and she's still gonna go through all that effort (RIP her bank acc btw)

-You're sad, she's comforting you even from afar.

-You're sad because of something, bye for that person

-No, she's not overprotective and she's not gonna hurt them or something... but there maybe some warning involved

-Unless it's family and friends, she can't do that unless necessary that is

-But if you're sad because of her- oh lord, she's probably not notice sooner. Please tell her though, she wants to know what she did wrong, when, or whatever details involved

-She wants to be exact that she'll never do that AGAIN.

Speaking of which,

In arguments:

-Okay so let's divide this into three parts

-1. If it was her fault

-She's mad mad

-She argues with you but is more submissive in tone because she knows who is at fault

-She's been through a lot enough to tell

-But 50% chance she doesn't know what she did wrong so please explain and be reasonable

-So, when you tell her, she will do her best to explain herself if there was even one to begin with

-Is canonically, not a fan of lectures but is willing to take it if it means understanding your side

-But then again she canonically doesn't like adults without sense nor problems with no answers

-So don't go: "Mizuki, I'm mad because you ate all my chocolate so my cat would poop out my paperwork >:("

-No, don't. She's gonna get irked

-Continuing though, she will help solve whatever is bothering the love of her life at any station in life even if it was her own fault and will take responsibility for all damages applied

-But if there's no use, she'll just tell you to forget it and focus on the present

-+ You have a very guilty Mizuki at your bedside, holding your favorite breakfast

-Guilty asf

-10/10 understanding, is reasonable, cares, and green flag

-2. If it was all your fault

-If it was kind of a light problem, she's really really forgiving

-She's 20% lowkey annoyed and may have lashed out a bit and 80% caring still

-But don't mistake this girl boss for some weak fellow

-She will fight

-Especially, if it was a really important topic

-She wouldn't lash out at first but if you start screaming she does the same

-If you're calm, she's kinda scolding you tbh but calm and firm

-She's like uhh

-Kindergarten Teacher! (totally ^^) or a big sister or your mom??

-That's a way to describe it I think but she does it the same way she scolds Ayatsuji

-She would never hit you though but if you hit her...like in the abusive way she's fighting

-8.5/10, still caring but don't fight her dammit

-Now 3. is if you were both at fault

-If you're the type to be blinded by anger, ya'll probably don't even realize it, being angry at each other

-Expect a hopefully non-violent fight

-If you aren't violent that is cause she sure isn't towards you

-Be careful too she has a very extraordinary ability...

-Who knows wtf will happen ToT

-Admittedly she's quite emotional too so it's crying and firm sentences from her

-But no matter the type of argument, as long as you both aren't broken up after it you're both fine!

On Birthdays:

-Everything is extra-extra-extra special for you unless you don't like it that way then sure!

-Plans a small party, the people you love are invited!

-Unless of course you don't like that... (she's indecisive 'til you're sure with what you like)

-But, if there's one thing for sure, she 100% prepares a really pretty gift and cooks you food

-Like- appreciate her cause she's so happy she's able to give you that

-Especially when she's been at work for so long

-Speaking of which- she would NEVER forgive herself if she allowed work to make her miss any special days

-Yes, your birthday included

-Girl would be so guilty she might as well burn her office to spend eons with you

-On her birthday, she would enjoy a small gathering with her co-workers, mentors, and YOU

-And maybe a little bit of your family and friends if she's good with them

-Honestly- you don't even have to give her a gift! People spending time with her and treating her with kindness literally just completes her day

-But of course, out of tradition, you should....

-She'd be really happy regardless of what your gift is for her! (unless it's something offensive like an empty box with the word mom written inside)

-She's soo good fr!!

-10000000000000293028392489032470927490273490234739047903274037204790237490234902horizontal8/10 very good partner!

-A little confused but she's got the spirit!

Please remember that this is my impression and opinions of how Tsujimura would be in a relationship! Sorry it's kinds short ^0^ Dividers Cr.: @cafekitsune, @v6que Tagging! @hopefulpain

[desceros]

So I'm this anon... (And this is gonna be long and a little sappy because it's like 4:40am-ish as I'm writing this, I'm so sorry, I wouldn't have the confidence otherwise):

"I gotta know, gotta ask- HOW do you write the way that you do?? How does one get to that point? I've been wanting to write fanfics for awhile now, but I don't know where to start, and just... do you have any advice at all for beginners? Because you're like... really good at what you do!!"

-Except I finally made a blog to keep my interests anonymous, and while I feel scared still (I am like... an overly ashamed person over interests and such), I want to get over it.

Just wanted to say that like... I had already liked your writing before, but I had been trying to stay away from Symphony at least until there was more written... I caved and read it all today because of the asks you've been getting, finishing up just like thirty minutes ago at 4:30am because restless nights. And I just wanna say that like... the feelings I'm having right now are certified crazy. I feel empty but like... so, so full all at once?? I spent the last few chapters of reading crying (So much so that I had to stop a few times just to see), only to realize that I was picturing everything in my head that I was reading. Vividly, or as much so as I can, with my imagination being more... vibes than anything, anymore. Like, settings and everything are easy. Feelings like rain and stuff too. But I haven't been able to picture things this vividly, haven't been able to focus so intently on reading and just reading... since early high school at the least?? Well over five years ago. It's a feeling that I've craved desperately, to sink into a different world and just exist there... and it's not the same that it used to be, but it made me cry all the same, to have even a fraction of that feeling back.

And I mean, a lot can be said about me as a person that a fucking tmnt fanfic (More like a few tmnt fanfics) gets me back into a headspace that I've been chasing for literal, actual years, but I think it's more an indicator of the intensity and thought behind your writing than anything. It feels silly, but like... reading what you write feels like a gift to me, just for the fact that I can get even a slight bit of the magic of reading back, something I have truly, wholly missed for so long. Even more so because I want to write again, to finally, actually write- Which... I mean it's the internet and I'm not gonna trauma dump, just... It's important for me to say, important to me that I specify. I've lost these feelings, the ability to focus on reading, and been unable to write, among other things, due to a lot of trauma. And the fact that I'm getting this back almost solely because of you, it means so much to me, and it wouldn't feel right not to say it.

As silly and cheesy and sappy as it feels... just... genuinely thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for being so unafraid to be yourself and do what you do, pouring so much time and thought into the things you enjoy. It really, truly inspires others to do the same, and it inspires me to be less shameful, less apologetic about myself and my interests, and more brave. I'm gonna wrap this up before I write you a fucking novel though (Especially because it's past 5am as I'm wrapping this up, and I'm not doing so well- definitely didn't spend 30 minutes on this...), just like... I don't know. I had to get this out of my system. You're great, super, super great. I'm afraid I haven't articulated my thoughts well enough, but if I mull them over forever, I'll get too scared to send this. And if I start writing again, when I start writing again because damn it I will, I want you to know it's almost singlehandedly thanks to you, as well as the rest of the lovely tmnt fandom.

(Again I'm so, so sorry for the length and sappiness omg I swear I have a sense of shame and will be embarrassed after adequate rest... Gonna go hide in my hole now)

puts my hands on your shoulders. looks you in the eyes. i am. So Proud Of You.

first. let me say that i am really. just insanely aware that admitting that youve been in a dark place and moving out of it is a difficult, difficult thing to talk about. it’s a difficult place to be. it’s like. an advanced performance of humanity in a way. reaching into your own brain and scooping out the parts that don’t make you happy anymore. it’s so. so hard. important. valuable. life-changing. but hard.

and i’m proud of you for doing it. i’m?? so amazingly touched??? to know that i had any hand in that. holy shit. sick. but my part in this is small, even if it doesn’t feel that way to you right now. you’re the one doing all the hard, difficult work. and i’m rooting for you!!!

i know there’s a lot of stigma against ‘trauma dumping’ and for good reason. but i also think it’s important to be able to open yourself up and discuss the vulnerabilities you feel. that’s how humans are meant to heal our souls. with one another, hand in hand. i hope sending this made you feel better. i hope reading my response will make you feel better. i hope you are able to find that place of healing. i’ve been there myself and it’s—it’s nice. being able to feel things again.

be unashamed. be unafraid. let your heart grasp the things that bring you joy. write the things that make you happy. chase your light and bottle it for the days when things feel dark again.

thank you so much for such a lovely ask. it really made my day and brought me so much joy and happiness. may that now turn upon you threefold 🌸

[ohmotherwhereartthou-if]

(TW: Pregnancy)

Please ignore this if you're uncomfortable! I'm sorry if that is the case.

How would the F!ROs react if very deep in the relationship with MC (maybe they're even married now) they become pregnant with MC's child? How would M!ROs react if F!MC was pregnant in a similar scenario?

Another anon also asked,

What would the female ros be like if they found out they were pregnant and the male ros finding out that female mc is pregnant.❤️❤️❤️

So, I'll answer both in one post. I am also super cool with pregnancy asks and topics.

Cassandra: If she is pregnant, your both married. There is no way otherwise this is happening; she will be overjoyed once she finds out though. She will question why she is feeling so sick and once her doctor confirms she is positively ecstatic. She can't wait to rush home and tell you, she will sit MC down and hold his hand as she tells him the news. She is planning everything from what the baby will need, possible names, the school they will attend, possible tutors, and everything in between. Of course, your input is highly taken into account. She might be a bit put off if you want homeschooling just like Mother/Mentor did for you, but she is willing to make compromises and figure out something you two can come to an agreement on.

Valeria: Is sooo whiny that she feels sick and complains to MC to help her with stuff around the house. Meanwhile she calls her mom over to help give her some advice or remedy, when her mom puts the morning sickness and vomiting together and asks Valeria if you two have been "active" lately, in which Valeria answers honestly with no shame, she will tell her she is probably pregnant before squealing at the prospect of a possible grandchild. Valeria is conflicted between excitement and nervousness, she is excited to be a mom but nervous she won't do a good job. After her mom assures her she will do fine and won't be alone as she has her whole family to help and MC as well she will be comforted. She will tell MC during family dinner and while her family is very happy, if you two aren't married, her father and brothers will "subtly" ask and pester you to.

Tomás: His day went from normal to utterly mind breaking in a few moments. He sort of just... sits there for a moment with no expression as he process the information. Once you give him a minute, as you should know to do by now when he is dealing with complex emotions, he will slowly smile and slowly bounce in his seat. "I'm going to be a dad?" he asks and once you confirm he will be dumbstruck with a smile on his face as he repeats the fact to himself over and over again. If you two were actively trying for a while he will pick you up and hold you close as he gets progressively louder. "I am going to be a dad!!!" He kisses you and can't believe just how wonderful everything is right now.

-

Ludovica: She will suspect she is pregnant once she experiences the symptoms. She had a scare once with her ex-husband and is more cautious this time around saying anything if it's too soon to say for sure. Most very early pregnancies (in our world and in omwat) tend to lead in miscarriage as the process simply didn't take and the egg is discarded by the body. That is what happened last time to her and while she is glad she didn't have to carry that man's child, it still broke her heart to of had come to terms with expecting a child to just have that so suddenly taken from her. This time she will wait to be much further along before saying anything, she will tell MC the symptoms she is having are probably just from her anxiety.

Once she is about a little over a month in she will cautiously confide her suspicions to MC, she is hopeful he will respond positively and be a little nervous he might not want this. She is deep down very excited, not only at just the prospect of being a mother; but being the mother of MC's child. She is in love with the idea that she will forever of had created something that has a part of you and a part of her. She will cherish this child with every fibre of her being and devote her very life to givinging them the life she wish she had as a child. One of unconditional love and happiness, with two absolute perfect, loving parents.

Aurelio:

MC: "Love, I am pregnant."

Aurelio: "Ha! No your not."

MC: "Yes Aurelio, I am."

Aurelio: "Noo your not."

MC: "I most certainly am."

Aurelio: "I refuse."

MC: "How are your refusing? Are you leaving me?"

Aurelio: "No, never, but your not pregnant and I am rejecting the concept."

MC: Sigh "Yeah well, let me know how that goes for you when the baby is here and crying."

Goes back to what he was doing, "Will do my love because you're totally NOT pregnant."

9 months later and it turns out she was, in fact, pregnant and he had the equivalent of an "Aw, well shit." moment and proceed to buy everything they needed and embraced fatherhood beautifully by caring the baby everywhere he went.

Elio: Elio is actually sterile but that conversation would play out like this.

MC: "Elio, I am pregnant."

Elio: not even looking up from his book "With a food baby perhaps, but definitely not from me."

MC: ...

Elio: ...

Elio was then never seen again.

[chiropteracupola]

Tell us about reading Laurent and Aymar as trans? Pretty please?

all the various thoughts I had were originally typed out in a fit of annoyance probably in early October last year, and that happens to also be how I learned that tumblr has a limit on how many tags you can put on a post, which I had wildly exceeded, and now I don't remember what it was that I had written in the part that got lost. but! there's still a considerable bit of stuff that I do recall!

[also every time I end up reading this book, I immediately get a horrible sore throat without fail, so I do not want to reread it to rediscover my Ideas because I am really enjoying being Less Sick Than Usual right now.]

please take all of these thoughts with a pinch of salt, these are not super textually supported but they're A Thing to ponder. is this even going to make sense at all? Well We'll See.

some of the thoughts, I believe, began in Aymar's hair and the significance of that throughout the book - I found it interesting at the very first that he's got long hair in a time when that wasn't very much the norm, and also that, although we do get a lot of information about how much Laurent likes that long hair of his, Aymar doesn't seem so keen on it.

and also! so much of Aymar is wrapped up in matters of secrecy and falsity, and of being perceived as something other than what he is, which to me works quite well here. it's a book about honor getting called into question, and for these fellows, the quality of honor does end up getting intertwined with the quality of successful manhood. there's a certain physicality to Aymar's disgust with himself at some of his lowest moments that pairs interestingly with this particular lens.

as things go with Aymar's actual body, it's interesting (and for other reasons, nearly uncomfortable to me) how much he's described as looking similar to Avoye. and of course there's the whole St. Sebastian thing with him too... (iirc I had a lot more in my head on the whole business of Aymar's injuries in this context, but I've forgotten precisely what it was that I was getting at there. so be it.)

there's something that resonates a little bit in the way that Aymar's also wrapped up in the very particular prophecy that he is as well! now, while I don't know if the particular situation with the jartier is actually anything folkloric or if Broster invented that for the book, I find it interesting that the alleged secret of his success and the main supernatural element of the book is related to a mythological figure that's almost entirely defined in stories of hiding a concealed physical transformation from relatives. of course, having a bit of gender going on is not precisely the same as occasionally turning into a large snake, except that sometimes it also is.

that's that on Aymar - but we've got another guy to talk about while we're here! Laurent is definitely defined by his inexperience for a lot of the book - he's new to being a soldier and he's new to being an adult, and for me, that's easy to read as being new to being a man as well. he's fresh and passionate and young and just so wildly confident that I can easily see him being newly out of some journey of self-discovery and ready to make his way in the world under a newly shaped identity. Laurent's just very proud and pleased with himself, and I find that rather fun to match with these kinds of thoughts.

…he's joking about in the quotation I've given here, but hey, it's the kind of joke that I myself have been known to make.

likewise, there's something in the way that Laurent interacts with his mother and aunts, and the whole 'raised in a family of mostly women' thing, that puts the occasional thought in my head that I can't quite articulate. and then there's this:

so yeah! I'm guessing that a good deal of the more textual stuff of it is certainly the style of the time, and also the way that I've found that D.K. Broster writes in general - there are similar phrases along the lines of 'womanish feelings' and such that get used in FOTH for Keith (and I believe there's been a little discussion of that as well that I saw some time ago…) but even so it's interesting enough to think about!

[likeadevils]

In preparation for ttpd release, I started to listen to your playlist of Taylor's songs in writing order and I love it so far! It really gives me an entirely new way of looking at the songs and the connections between them, so big thank you for your work on it!

I just have a few questions that I'd like to know as I'm listening (I'm on early fearless rn):

how did you order tracks that don't have a clear order? (iirc, a lot of the late albums we don't really know besides some earlier/later tracks). Is it based on vibes, or just completely arbitrary?

Also, how did you deal with songs that some time to write (like Innocent taking a few months, or her coming back to finish change after winning her first big award)? Is it the beginning date, or finishing it, or maybe somewhere in the middle?

Thanks a lot in advance <3

songs that took a while to write: i’ll put the all dates i know she worked on it— like, begin again is in there twice, because i’m fairly confident in both dates, but change is only when she finished it, because i have no idea when she started it. i also don’t put the same song over and over in a row (like all too well is only in there once even though we know of at least three drafts, because it would just be listening to the same song over and over). with innocent specifically, i took the six months quote as it taking her six months to get in the headspace to write it, not like she was picking it up and putting it down, so i only put it in once.

songs that i don’t know the order of: short answer, i put my best guess. it’s normally easier to figure out when she recorded a song, or at least what songs she recorded around the same time, so like, a lot of lover is just broken up by producer/studio credits (though i am fairly confident about the back half).

and then with folklore and evermore, it’s much easier to figure out the order than the dates— every artist has a different way they answer “tell me what it was like making this song” and aaron’s go to is “it was right before this song and right after this other song” which is so helpful— so like, folklore especially, i’m pretty confident that that’s the general order of stuff, even though i only really know cardigans date.

but, here are the stretches i’m not super confident about

* a lot of the first half of speak now is speculative, but not really in long stretches? but haunted, foolish one, superman, last kiss, timeless, and never grow up can all easily jump around the year (though, i’d put money on never grow up being written in early september 2009. not a lot of money, but like, still money. like $5). and then like, the speak now vault tracks in general are speculative, she did like no promo for it so who knows)

* wildest dreams-wonderland: all of these songs were recorded in october/november 2013, but we don’t know the exact order (wildest dreams is first because selena gomez said she was there when it was written and her schedule just doesn’t align with taylor’s that fall meaning it was almost definitely written before going into the studio, blank space was likely written in late october based on candids matching behind the scenes studio stuff, the last three are just alphabetical order)

* look what you made me do-this is why we can’t have nice things: this is mostly just based on how long her hair was in the making of a songs

* cruel summer-soon you’ll get better: cruel summer is early cause she said she was just jamming with jack and annie and the song kinda fell into their laps, and that sounds like she wasn’t intensely writing so i put it early. she teased daylight lyrics somewhere in the summer i believe so i put that pretty early, but aside from that like. these probably weren’t even recorded in a block they could literally be wherever

* i forgot that you existed-all of the girls: same proudcers, she said she started working intensely on the album right after tour ended and idk what else she was recording in november, so like. all recorded at the same time, guessing that it’s pretty early in the recording process, but that exact order of the tracks can change, as well as where they fall in the album development too. but i’m like 85% sure they were all recorded in the same week or so

* august-mirrorball: most of the jack stuff was done before aaron came in, but idk the exact order of these specific ones

* invisible string-betty: mostly circumstancial— like, epiphany is the first track taylor brought to aaron instead of the other way around, so i put it towards the end, stuff like that

* gold rush-no body no crime: all recorded in late september, but written beforehand, no idea in what order

* maroon-dear reader(/question-you’re losing me): again, all recorded within like a month of each other, no idea in what order besides question probably being in late november and youre losing me on december 5

* lavander haze-karma: pretty sure they were all written in early 2022, not totally sure in what order, beyond bigger than the whole sky being in march, snow on the beach probably being in april, and karma probably being last