#it's very fun and i love getting those ww | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

a-little-bit-of-ravioli · 4 months

Text

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @the-real-azalea-scroggs! Had to wait until I was of my phone because doing these is a nightmare on mobile lmao

1. How many works do you have on A03?

18 as of a few days ago!

2. What's your total A03 word count?

157,937! Which is. Only a fraction of the word count in my Docs folder. Be prepared.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I mainly write for The Legend of Zelda; specifically Linked Universe! In fact, that's all that's posted on my Ao3 currently, since my fall into that fandom began with me uploading there! Pre-Ao3 I wrote for Black Cat (Anime/Manga), Megaman NT Warrior, various Pokémon things, Assassin's Creed, Yugioh, Final Fantasy XIV and Octopath Traveler! Some of these I still write privately, but I haven't gotten around to re-posting any.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Whistling on Deaf Ears - My longest fic on Ao3, focusing on Wild and Twilight's friendship and how good intentions can lead to disaster.

Iconoclasm - Warriors deals with the room full of portraits in Cia's palace. The Chain also deals with it, but with a bit more fire.

Deserving - Twilight finally tells Rusl that he was the wolf in the village during TP, but that also means dealing with some heavier topics. Colin half overhears them and forms his own conclusions.

Something Greater - The start of the "Hyrule can see magical auras" series! In this one we deal with Legend and his many rings.

Ocean Magic - Mermaid Legend and Zora Time have a race and then fight one of the Big Octos from WW! Fun times.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Every single one!! I love comments, they give me an excuse to ramble about my fic more!! I am always down to ramble about every single insignificant detail of any line and/or section. If you ever want more background info about one of my fics, look to the comments!

So please, I adore comments, I treat them like treasures, not responding to them would be a CRIME.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

There's no contest; Inevitable, my (so far) only MCD fic.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Hmmm, that's hard to quantify. I usually try to end fics on a hopeful note regardless. I'd say possibly either Deserving, where Twilight reconnects with his family, or Shimmering Blue, Striking White, where Time meets the Fierce Deity settled down on Satori Mountain and they both get closure.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully, no! I've been blessed with mostly amazing and patient readers, even when my upload schedule isn't the best.

9. Do you write smut?

No, not really. I've attempted it, but I'm too asexual for it lol

10. Do you write crossovers?

Very, very rarely. Mostly privately, and only very specific ones. Only a single one has had an actual plot, so far (more on that one in question 15!).

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Also a nope! I tend to write for smaller fandoms, where these things don't tend to happen a lot!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have! But it's been a while. Over a decade, in fact! I tried to find the fic to link it here, but it was on the German fanfic website fanfiktion.de, and my friend who posted it back then must have deactivated her account, because it's nowhere to be seen (I still have the Word file though!). It was a Multi-Crossover that started as an RP in a forum, and we took turns turning the RP into prose one chapter each. "If a Hero Turns to Dark" was its title. We were edgy teenagers.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Hissssss. Bad question. Shoo. They are all equally important!!

But it's probably TenRose from Doctor Who.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

One of the very few crossovers I've ever worked on; a crossover fic between Assassin's Creed and Doctor Who, that I have mapped out in both chronological and timeline order, and yes, those are different. I only ever wrote about a quarter of it, since my primary audience of it disappeared when we graduated. I doubt I'll ever pick it back up properly, and if I do it'll probably go through heavy rewrites first since it's so old. Finishing it is a nice thought, but realistically, after 9 years it'll never be high priority enough for it to actually happen.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, especially arguments, and emotional impact. I've been told I do really well making characters feel alive and believable! Also I like to believe I'm decent at setting a scene and giving it the vibe I want it to have!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with dialogue tags when nothing much is happening besides the talking. I always feel it's too bland, and fall back on the same phrases. My scene transitions could use some work too.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've done this with Japanese phrases, because I was a massive weeb. Usually I followed them up with their own translations, though; I'm not the biggest fan of footnote translations, unless they are properly linked to. Simple dialogue tags are my favourite way of indicating a language switch.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Black Cat the Manga/Anime! It's a series about an assassin turned bounty hunter trying to live a life separate from his murdery past, but getting dragged back into things by still wanting to avenge his best friend's death. The series has a special place in my heart and my bookshelf, it left an imprint on 13-year-old me that will never leave.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Probably Jailbreak, uncharacteristically enough! It's one of the only fics I never got stuck in once. Writing it was a great feeling from start to finish. I love writing all of my fics, but that was a special few days.

Tagging @ahrva @nowhere-to-go-but-down @silvercaptain24 and @aeghina! And anyone who wants to do it, really, go wild

#rav rambles #rav writes #ask game #linked universe #thank you Aza I rambled a lot lmao #rambling is cathartic sometimes #I had a good time!

58 notes · View notes

rearranged-fanfic · 1 month

Text

Update (3/15)

I'm never actually going to get a chapter out on time. Lol. I am resigned to the fact that this is my truth.

So, fun stuff these past three weeks.

The next chapter? I hate it. It has been the bane of my existence for several reasons. I've deleted either the whole thing or massive parts of it no less than six times now. I've probably typed and retyped somewhere between 30K words for this one alone. I'm not happy with it at all. I've already put it off for another week, and I still can't get it the way I want. The perfectionist in me is telling me to pound it out until it's acceptable. The person inside who wants to meet my deadlines is screaming at me to just upload it in its current state and change it later.

I'm finishing it, though. Or, as finished as I can get it in an extra day. So, one more day and it'll be out for you guys to view to your hearts' content.

In other news, while battling frustration with the story, I've tried to distract myself from it so that my anger doesn't bleed into my writing. And I've wound up getting back into one of my old favorite chill games: My Time at Portia. I've put somewhere around 500 hours into it, and still love it. Lol. If you like things like Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing, you'll probably like Portia, too.

I've started rewatching My Hero Academia and Demon Slayer with my husband. Both of those things are living in my head rents free as well, alongside this fic and my game.

So, now I'm resisting the urge to contribute to a smaller, less-saturated fandom or pairing. Like, there are ten million GojoXReader stories, but what about for Arlo? Or Hawks? Or best boi Rengoku Kyojuro? Arrrggggh! The ADHD beckons, and I must resist its call!

I wish I could pause time so that I can write all the things I want to!

Also, I tried to unwind by watching The Boy and the Heron to celebrate its win at the Oscars. And I feel like I'm being gaslit by the world and anime community as a whole. Because it was… not great. Like, it was a genuinely incohesive and confusing movie? The plot was chaotic and nonsensical? The characters weren't very fleshed out? Character motivations suffered due to poor pacing? Emotional payoff was non-existant? The plot "reveals" weren't satisfying? The worldbuilding was lackluster and simultaneously too involved but not involved enough? There was a crappy third-act villain? The English dub is mid (barring Robert Pattinson, who is stellar, TBH); Why the fuck did Christian Bale decide that a Godfather-esque mafioso accent would be fitting for a WW era Japanese man when nobody else in the movie sounds like that?!

IDK… I went in expecting this to be on the same level as Howl's Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, or Spirited Away. And I feel like we got Tales From Earthsea all over again. Except this time, for whatever reason, it won an award and is being praised as Miyazaki's magnum opus?!

I was actually salty for days. Scratch that; I'm still salty.

So... in conclusion, I'm back, bitches. And I'm vibing to the music of my own internal screaming.

#REARRANGEDfanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #update

21 notes · View notes

blueskittlesart · 11 months

Note

okay so feel free to delete this message for asking you about TP crimes. but I'm curious if you have any purely aesthetic thoughts about the Link + Zelda designs, as well as the Zora designs, in TP? like how do you feel about the designs on their own, even apart from your distaste for the general atmosphere + story. again feel free to ignore this for TP crimes and no harm done!

yeah ok. disclaimer for those who don't know. i don't like twilight princess and i think the art direction was almost as bad as the story. do not argue with me about this. let's get into it. link first

from a purely character-design standpoint I don't think this design is bad, but I don't think it's all that special either. it's very evocative of oot link, which I'm SURE was intentional based off everything else in the game. it does a decent job of complicating the outfit to the standards of tp's setting without going too overboard in terms of little details. the long hat looks stupid but i understand what they were going for. my biggest critique of the design itself is the desaturated color scheme, which I understand was present in the game at large but. I don't like it. I honestly do think that taking away the vibrance and colorfulness of loz takes a lot of the fun out of it. these games were originally for the NES. we're working off of 8-color pixel graphics. link's tunic should be eye-searingly green no matter how dark and brooding you want his story to be, because without that brightness and vibrance the games cease to feel like loz imo.

anyway. the real PROBLEM with this design, and with most of the art direction in tp, lies in how it was actually handled in-game. twilight princess was a game for the wii & gamecube, released in 2006. while advancements in graphics were GETTING THERE, the models were still relatively low-poly. The franchise had already seen a lot of success working with low-poly models in oot and ww, specifically because they leaned into the limitations of low-poly graphics and went for a more cartoonish, unrendered art style which made the blocky models seem purposefully stylized instead of limiting. twilight princess, however, did a complete 180 with the art direction and decided to attempt to HIDE the low-poly graphics behind over-rendered textures. this combined with the desaturated color palette of the character designs makes everything look very flat and lifeless.

in every close shot of link throughout this game i was constantly distracted by how awful the textures made the model look. the rendered folds of his tunic being slapped onto a flat surface, the rendering in his hair being an obvious coverup for the fact that it's one mass on the model with no physics, etc etc. the textures seldom rendered perfectly smoothly on the wii either, so the painted rendering would be strangely pixelated or blurry compared to the model's sharp edges. the game's lighting also seems to operate entirely in harsh black gradients, making the color and rendering choices on the model all the more obvious. Again, I understand that these are limitations of the medium the devs were working with, but i think that art direction that takes the medium into account and works WITH it instead of AGAINST it is almost always more successful than attempts to cover your ass after the fact, and i think that twilight princess could have been a more visually pleasing game if the art direction hadn't been so focused on covering the flatness of the models with hyper realistic textures.

onto zelda. again, we have a theme here of taking the oot design and overcomplicating it. i think the color choices are better here than they are with link, but i would have liked a brighter pink on her bodice. I also think that the dress's neckline was... pretty obviously a sexualization attempt. there's a reason men love this zelda. imo if they were going to keep oot zelda's shoulder armor they should also have kept the breastplate-ish piece in the middle and the high neckline from that dress. you cant say ooh look shes a swordfighter see she has armor!! and then leave her fucking jugular exposed. no wonder she got possessed by ganon immediately. other than my general complaints with the over-rendering i don't have much else to say about her tho. shes fine

the zora tho... this is where i start to get pissed off. HOW ARE YOU GONNA DESIGN A SPECIES OF FISH PEOPLE BASED ON TROPICAL FUCKING FISH AND THEN REFUSE TO PUT A SINGLE SATURATED COLOR INTO ANY OF THEIR DESIGNS. the way these designs could all be improved by about a hundred percent if you just TURNED UP THE GODDAMN SATURATION. GIVE ME A REAL RED. IM BEGGING. UGGHHHHHHHHHH. i also think the ugly rendering REALLY shows through on these guys because they don't have a lot of detail on them to cover it all up. someone needs to explain to these designers that you don't shade with black. like. god. the designs truly are not bad in terms of like creature design i dont think but they are so DESPERATELY in need of color that it's fucking distracting. color is not your enemy guys please

#tp critical #twilight princess art direction my detested. bane of my fucking existence #COLOR IS NOT EVILLLL YOU CAN PUT SATURATED COLORS IN YOUR DESIGNS ITS OK. ITS NOT GOIGN TO BITE YOU #asks

65 notes · View notes

a-b-riddle · 23 days

Text

Pen Pals Chapter One: Welcome to the Internet

I feel like most girls who claimed they loved world history either had a hot history teacher or a Percy Jackson obsession. Well, I'm not like most girls. I had both. I may have been failing math, but when I tell you I was passing history with flying colors...

It was 2009: I was a freshman in high school and at 14 years old, I was very impressionable. Full disclosure: I was not groomed. Well, by my teacher at least. My history teacher wasn't like that weird, over-friendly coach with the students. He was just hot. Very incredibly boring, but hot by my standards as a 14-year-old who up until that point had only kissed two boys, but read some very questionable fan-fiction.

Our semester closed on the unit about World War II. It was the week of Christmas, we just finished our finals and we watched a movie I highly recommend called 'Pearl Harbor'.

That movie just kind of fueled my obsession with World War II. It's like those little kids who had a really nice nurse when they were sick and they grew up wanting to be nurses. I saw Ben Affleck in a WW 2 uniform and was fucking SET.

Now don't get me wrong, I actually enjoyed it besides the hot actors. I loved the stories. I loved the heroes. Second Lieutenant Audie L. Murphy: The most decorated soldier of the war. He was credited for killing over 200 Germans. Corporal Desmond Doss was a medic, never picked up a weapon and saved 75 men by lowering them down from a freaking cliff. I cry every time I watch his interviews and if you want to know his full story watch Hacksaw Ridge. Then there was Private Steven Grant Rogers. Started out as an E-1 and then promoted to a O-3 (or a Captain) and was renamed Captain America.

Just like how people think of Tom Brady when they think of the Super Bowl, I did the same thing when it came to Captain America and the war. Now, I don't want to say I idolized the man, but I did admire the hero.

My obsession made me major in History and later get a Master's in Conflict Management. Now, I was applying to one of the biggest companies in the nation: Stark Industries. Now, that was partly because I could not find a job anywhere and someone that I went to college with started working in HR and was able to get me an interview. It didn't have to do with anything pertaining to my degree, but it had been a while before I was able to find a job that paid this well.

I felt like I was running my sponsor dry with his support and I had applied several times to multiple colleges in the city. I mean I had a freaking Master's degree with intentions of pursuing my Doctorate for crying out loud and the best I could do was be a personal assistant.

I was going to be a secretary. Nothing important, but the pay was more than exceptional.

Stark Tower was intimidating to say the least. Over 90 floors and reflective glass windows. It hurt my neck to look directly up at it.

When I walked into the building, security instructed me what floor to go to. When I got there, I was greeted with an empty desk. I waited several minutes downstairs before a strawberry blonde woman with cute freckles came down to greet me. "Hi, you must be the secretary applicant." She smiled. "I'm Pepper Potts. So you're resume here is quite impressive and Harrison in HR highly recommended you."

"Yes, I was so excited when he told me you had a position available."

"Usually, I would be doing the interview, but I'm afraid I have to head out on some other business, so if you want to take the elevator to floor 82, Mr. Stark will be waiting."

"Of course." I said holding a folder that contained all the documents he requested I brought in.

"Hello, Mr. Stark." I greeted.

"You must be Pepper's replacement."

"Oh," I said. "Is she not-"

"She's been made COO." He clarified. "She can't leave that easily."

"Oh, good." I said. "She seemed really sweet."

"To you, yes. To me, I can't do anything. Don't put your life in danger, don't challenge terrorists." He mocked. "She's no fun." He walked further into what I assumed was a common room of sorts. It gave no indication that he lived on that floor. There was a full bar and it looked more of a place he hosted parties. "So tell me a bit about yourself." He began to pour himself a drink. "Something that isn't on your resume."

"Um, well, I'm taking a course in French and Greek right now. Just online classes, nothing too time consuming. I prefer dogs over cats because I think that its important if you die, for your pet to at least be sad and I am the first one in my family to live in New York, that I know of. I'm the first girl to graduate with their Master's. I plan on eventually getting my Doctorate, but not for a while. I don't like hot coffee and I'm terrified of snakes."

"Who would actually prefer cats over dogs?"

"Pepper?" I asked to which he laughed, even though it wasn't that funny.

"I like you." He took a sip of his drink. "It's not liquor. Pepper has this rule that alcohol should only be consumed during certain times of the day."

"I think 9:30 on a Monday is acceptable. I was debating on getting Mimosas after the interview if it went well."

"And if it didn't?" He asked.

"I would say tequila, but I got food poisoning from the limes once."

"Really?" He asked.

"Yeah," I said. "I had about 15 limes and felt terrible the next day."

"I prefer a good scotch myself."

"I like anything that doesn't taste like alcohol. I'm really impressed that a bottle of wine can cost thousands of dollar, but I guarantee it can't be as delicious as a Moscow mule."

"I haven't had a Moscow mule in forever." He said. "They were my go-to in college."

"Where did you go to school?" His response was to point at a wall that was covered in awards and accomplishments. "You went to Andover?" I asked looking at his degree.

"Seven years." He said. "I really liked the science department."

"I've given a few guest lectures there. It's a lovely school."

"What was the topic of discussion?"

"The North African campaign during World War 2, but specifically the Battle of Ramree Island."

"History nerd. Nice." Mr. Stark replied sarcastically when the elevator door dinged. "Speaking of historical nerds."

If my legs could have physically turned into jelly at that moment they would. None other than Steve Rogers walked in with a blonde following dutifully behind. "Tony."

"Capscicle and the ice queen." He whispered too low for them to hear.

"Rogers, meet our new secretary." Tony introduced and started to head toward the elevator.

"It is such an honor, Captain Rogers." I said taking his outstretched hand.

"Please, call me Steve." He insisted. The blonde beside him remained quiet and eyed me up and down with a stoic expression.

"Not that I'm trying to cut you off, but I'll let you two old ladies reminisce on the glory days." Tony clicked the elevator door and waited until it dinged opened. "I have somewhere to be. Congratulations. You got the job. Blah. Blah. Blah. Monday at 9, don't be late." He pressed a button I couldn't see and the doors began to close. "Or do. I really don't care, but if you're late, bring coffee."

"He's..." I began, but couldn't quite pick the right word.

"Arrogant." Steve finished.

"I was going to say interesting." I said.

"So what 'glory days' was Stark referring to?"

"Oh. I gave a few lectures about a few battles at the University he went to. Nothing exciting."

"Well Mrs.-"

"It's just Miss." I said. That was stupid. Why did I say that? That was rude to cut him off like that. "Sorry." I apologized. Why was I apologizing?

"Well, Ma'am. It looks like we'll be seeing you Monday morning. If you're late Tony gets a triple shot of espresso and a disgusting amount of sugar in it."

"Being late isn't really my style. My mother always said if you're not early, you're late." Why was a quoting my zealot mother right now. Jesus, stop it. Not like Jesus Jesus. You know what, never mind. "I think I can find my way out." I said.

The walk back home I felt my cheeks burn the entire time. I haven't even started and I'm already flustered. Jesus, get a grip.

Suddenly my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was him.

*So how did it go?*

*I got the job* I replied back.

*That's wonderful. I'm so proud of you* I couldn't deny the pride that swelled inside of me at his praise.

*Thank you, although I did make a complete ass out of myself*

*How so?*

*Well, my new boss introduced me to one of his partners and I felt like I made a fool of myself.* I typed. *Not partner in the sexual way, but someone he works with. He called Mrs. and I corrected him and said 'no it's just MIss' like it didn't even matter, he was just being polite. Then I quoted my mother. I was just flustered, but I start Monday.*

C didn't reply after that. We were supposed to have a date tonight so I'm sure he would just finish the conversation later. I had a caprese salad, but ate mostly the mozzarella. I showered, shaved and waited until I got a notification.

*Sorry. Something came up. Regardless, I think you'll do great.* I smiled at his message, but was disappointment that he was cancelling our date tonight. Well the closest thing we came to date nights which usually ended in me being in an unsavory position.

Initially, C and I met on a chat forum in 2016. I was working on my senior seminar and had sort of an open ended question regarding the war. It was something along the lines of taking the notion that if a war on that scale were to happen in today's world in what ways would American citizens contribute to the war effort at home? Back in the 40s most companies like Ford made strictly military equipment. It was an honor to have a government contract whereas now it's more like any other business deal.

I received a lot of interesting responses, but a user named CR0876 replied that shifting the current American ideal of self-preservation to what we had before which was sacrificing for your country was the only way in which today's America could possibly aid in a war. I messaged CR0876 to further discuss the topic.

He wrote me: All I am saying is we now live in a day and age where you have people who won't vaccinate their children simply because they choose not to. They don't have an issue with you vaccinating your kids, but not theirs. We eradicated some of the deadliest diseases that are still present in some third-world nations and you have entitled people who don't trust science to preserve the health and well-being of not only their children, but everyone they come in contact with. The reason that our life expectancy has shot up isn't because of ground breaking medical break throughs like chemotherapy, it is for preventative measures. Getting vaccinated. Getting checkups. Wearing sunscreen. Washing your hands after wiping your ass.

A few minutes later he sent an apology for getting so riled up in his rant and I told him that no apology was needed and I completely agreed with him. From then on our friendship started to blossom.

Most of our conversations had something to do involving the war, but then it got more personal. I felt comfortable with him. I talked about my time at college and what I was studying. We went from a few messages a week to communicating everyday. Eventually when graduation came around, I offered him a graduation ticket. I was a little disappointed to find out it was too far for him to travel. He asked for my mailing address. That he felt guilty for missing such a big event and he wanted to make it up to me. I was a little apprehensive. I mean, we were taught to never give your stranger your address, but I was an RA in a college dorm. I would be out into the real world soon and he wouldn't know my room number or what I looked like.

So I sent it.

A few weeks passed and I got a pair of beautiful pearl earrings with a card that read. A beautiful girl always needs a set of beautiful pearls. Congratulations on all of your hard work. -C

Four and a half years later and I still have that card. We still talk about the war. I recommend him movies, while he recommends books then we both point on the inconsistencies. It was stupid, but it was fun. Now, I just sort of tell him about my day to day life and he tells me small tidbits about his. It was earlier in 2020 when the pandemic hit that things started to get... well things just changed.

I had just moved to New York in early February to start teaching at a local college. I was going to start with May-mester classes, but then Covid hit and the world stopped.

I had moved in with little to nothing. I had a few pieces of stuff for the kitchen and a bed. It wasn't much, but it was mine and I was damn proud of it.

My pride was short lived when I got the e-mail. In a panic, I sent him a message.

Hey can you talk?

Sure. What's up?

Is there anyway you can call me? I'm kind of in a bad place right now and I really don't have anyone else to talk to. I felt guilty as soon as I hit the send button. I'm not like going to hurt myself or anything I am just super stressed and if you have the time and energy, I just need to unload some stuff.

Seconds later my phone began to ring.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I took a deep breath. I can't believe this was the first time hearing his voice. It wasn't what I was expecting. I expected almost a pompous scholarly tone in his voice. But instead he was borderline on being batman. His voice was deep.

"They rescinded my offer." I took a deep breath. "I just spent all of my savings literally to move to this stupid freaking city and they told me over an e-mail 'we are sorry to inform you that your offer for employment has been rescinded until further notice due to the impending pandemic and the unforeseeable circumstances it holds. We deeply apologize for the inconvenience and wish you the best in your future endeavors.' They said sorry and good luck."

There was a pause and I heard him sigh. "Sweetheart, I am so sorry."

"Thanks." I rubbed the back of my neck. "Looks like that chapter closed before it got any good. I guess I can see if maybe I can do virtual learning for a high school, but I don't know if my degree is enough. I think you need an education degree to teach."

"But you always wanted to teach college..." His disappointment matched mine.

"I know..." I looked down at nearly clear streets of New York. "But I need a job, C." I sighed. "It's either that or call my parents and I would literally rather be homeless than ask them for help."

"How much?"

"What do you mean?"

"How much was your job going to pay you?"

"80k a year starting." I said and felt another wave of nausea wash over me. 80k wasn't much to some, but it was a lot for me and it would be doing something I loved.

"Tell you what, that is about 6 and a half grand a month. I will pay you 7 grand a month if you promise me not to give up."

"What?" I couldn't believe this. "There is absolutely no way I could ever accept that kind of money."

"It's not like I don't have it, Princess." He can't be serious. That's crazy. He never mentioned having money or being well off.

"And what do you want in return?" The butterflies in my stomach began to churn. God I hope he wasn't wanting to do anything... unethical. "Surely you wouldn't do that just because you want me to be a college professor."

"Nothing." He said. "Absolutely nothing. I just want you to be taken care of and pursue your dream."

"I really can't let you do that."

"It's only temporary." He tried to assure me, but I still felt guilty.

"C-" He was always so argumentative and authoritative over messaging and he matched it over the phone.

"I promise." He interrupted. "It won't put a dent in my wallet."

"Only until I have a full-time job." I tried to say.

"Until you become a professor."

"No," I said. "As soon as I get a job and can support myself."

"Sweetheart, it's not polite to argue."

"I appreciate it." I said. "I really do."

"So does that make your day a little bit better?" He asked.

"It does."

"Anything else gone wrong you need help fixing?"

"No." I responded and felt like a child and and adult came up to fix the mess I had made.

"Good." I heard him sigh. "I'm glad that was easy to fix and now, that I got you on the phone... it's nice to finally hear your voice."

Chapter Two: Confessions

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #tony stark #marvel #anonymous

10 notes · View notes

needle-noggins · 10 months

Text

Okay very last Trigun Maximum Vol. 2 thoughts before next week!

First off, Vash crying blood! I had fun coloring in the panel, because why not. This is my favorite weird monstrous quirk of his. It's so dramatic. It's so sad. It's so gross. I have so many questions. If he has a long hard cry, could be feasibly become anemic for a bit? Like a period? Does it make wiping away tears really difficult (tears dry and disappear, blood dries and it's fucking hard to get out without peroxide)? When does he cry normal tears vs blood? How many coats has he bled on? Does it turn his eyes reddish? I will never know peace.

Now some creepy Puppet Master bullshit. I didn't realize he actually killed all those people.. then, I guess, preserved them in a way to make puppets out of them? That he can control with his mind? That's some TMA Stranger shit right there. Jeezus Creezus. I love how this reminds me of the body horror of the plants too though. Also, Wolfwood's got legs for miles (god he's so Shaped).

OK, sorry these are kinda out of order. I mostly just wanted to put Blood Tears Boy panel up first. But these pages (out of order but in comparison) are *chefs kiss*

So. Wolfwood insisting that he's just human, and that's why he can't take the same chances in battle that Vash can. He's not a superhuman with insane marksman skills and rapid healing. He can't afford the same luxury of pacifism. He's working really hard to separate himself from Vash / separate Vash from humanity with "I'm only human" (god, did you really have to rub it in like that? surely there was a nicer way to say that, buddy).

And the next page here... okay I actually need some help with this. This is immediately after WW sees Vash get Bad Vibes from Puppet Guy, and I can't quite tell if WW is talking about Vash (I think so?) or the puppet master (the one sending Bad Vibes)? If he's talking to/about Vash, that means that he sees Vash having Big Feelings and feeling the shit radiating off the GHG and he's like... that's a monster. He's so fucking inhuman. (also sorry for the empath joke). The last panel on that page is grayed-out Vash, presumably feeling like shit after WW tells him he's nothing like a human.

Wolfwood is STILL feeding into Vash's monster shit. I feel like Trimax volume 2 involves not only a lot of Vash and Wolfwood clashing ideologically, but clashing in their identities. Wolfwood is terrified of Vash and is working so hard to distance himself from the weapon who blew a hole in the fifth moon while still grappling with his own terrible deeds. Vash is... well, reminding Wolfwood that for all that he is Wolfwood the Punisher, as much as he's killed, he's still got a soft heart and he still cares. He's just a cowardly kid hiding behind his weapon, not some macho gun-slinging undertaker. Wolfwood knows that already, as we see him deep in thought with his mental gymnastics quite a bit, but he's only ever talking to himself about it. He's very private about it.

Because he's so willing to hurt Vash about the opposite, I think being understood by Vash like this is what scares Wolfwood most of all.

#OK IM DONE FOR THIS WEEK SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEK #trigunbookclub #SORRY THIS ONE IS LESS COHESIVE #im just spitballing at thsi point #in this house we love and psychoanalyze nicholas d. wolfwood #i may be making false claims here yall tell me if im overstepping #trimax

39 notes · View notes

7ban-sama · 3 months

Note

Hello, so, I've been following you for a while, and I think you write so well. I would actually read a fanfic of yours about those three, you know, Tsukasa, Yashiro, Hanako. My question is, what do you imagine it would be like: Nene and Hanako's first time, Hanako and Tsukasa's first time Yashiro and Tsukasa's first time and finally, the first time between the three of them? Yes, about sex itself. It's okay if you don't feel comfortable answering, but I'm genuinely curious to know how you would imagine it.

Thank you for the compliment on my writing...! I like to write, so... nice that others can regard that writing kindly. 💦 I suppose on that note, since it's relevant to your question: I've actually covered the idea of a 'first time' between all 3 in a fic before, in A heart in the right place (a collaboration between me and @2n2n💜) Feel free to check that out, if it would be of interest.

Now as for your question-! Actually... I really love thinking about 'first times'... in fact, it's really fun to try and approach it from different angles, like solving a puzzle. 'How can I make [this] particular thing happen between [them]? Hm hm hm...'

I'll try to summarize my thoughts. :3

HanaNene

The classic shoujo ship of the manga~ I honestly adore that at it's bones, you have a pair between a tragic ghost boy and a girl with her little devil horns and skull brooch. They're very sweetly designed to be 'for' one another, and I always appreciate that. I love that they're both childish and inclined to play together. There's also an awkwardness between them I find really precious, they seem soo easily overwhelmed when things get 'serious'... As if it's difficult brushing up against the intensity of how much they like each other. But before it gets serious, it has to start out kind of silly, I think...

Depending on the world, Amane is either creepily shmoozing onto her in a predatory fashion (canon, Ghost Hotel, Bakeneko Ryokan) or... he's 'shy', fussy, perhaps even avoidant (your more mundane Amanes are this I think, a spectrum between the presented identity in PP and something like Teen School Drama boy...) I feel as though Nene always has to go through a phase of, 'he's not my type', followed by 'I'm just a normal girl!' 'This is too much!' haha... She's innately charmed by him, but wary, and unsure about saying yes to... this. This isn't how any of her fantasies ever played out... (Imagined more traditional experiences ww) ; By contrast, I would say Amane is more... immediately infatuated-? Consciously attracted-?? But he doesn't, expect or prepare for deep attachment... Doesn't think it's, love, kind of, sucks, is thinking HOT GIRL... pant pant... Sure, I'll take a shot, why not... <- Bizarre amount of confidence and detachment.

Hmm, I guess actually, I see them as both not expecting to be as into the dynamic as they are, so they're unprepared (and inexperienced...) Hence, all the hesitation about committing to it being More... Subsequently, I think it takes quiet a while to get to dating, and even longer until confessions. Typically I imagine sex happening before all that actually! It may seem out of order, but something sexual is easier to access than deeply working out feelings... 'One thing leads to another.'

For first times specifically, I am,, naturally, inclined, to think about it being noncon-!! !! !! OTL💦 In some manner...!

(... in my defense, the manga harasses me into thinking about it...

This is bullying-!! I'm being bullied.💔)

... but in all seriousness... u.u; That's really how I picture it happening... The cocktail of Amane's instability, possessiveness, forcefulness, leads to something snapping inside. Amane... he can't help but being a bit of a ticking time bomb. He has rabies (dormant.) And his urges are often being coaxed and encouraged by Nene, even. Actually, I really like when things start consensual, then devolves into rape. 9.9 Paradoxically.

To be more specific... Imagine something set relatively early in the manga, amidst the first couple volumes. Nene proposes, a bit clumsily, something like — practice kissing. For fun-! Nothing too 'serious', so. Amane can be agreeable, smiling about it, maybe even half-lidded. "Ohhh... Yashiro, you wanna do that~? Haha." [she baps him for teasing]

They do this a couple times... Both are feeling, more doki-doki about it than they'd expect, but with different responses to that. Nene is kind of like, twirling her hair, writing diary entries cutely at home about it... Amane is feeling wary, on edge. (Doesn't like feeling passion, because the last time that happened...🔪) He wouldn't let on his concerns though, just be normal silly ghost guy, deflecting. Out of Nene's periphery, she could watch as he clutches the edge of his clothes, fist shaking. Nene sees that as a victory though, like, ah he's! Nervous, Hanako-kun, he likes this... *mind wanders, imagine he wants to touch her more during!* huehueuee.... hehe!

So naturally, Nene so-kindly offers that he rest his hands on her, if he wants, he, doesn't have to keep them to himself. >> Maybe cheekily (but shyly) imply that they could practice... Well more things! Poses... dialogue?? Surprisingly, he doesn't take to the offer though. (Well it seems weird bc he is, known pervert ghost.) You could then imagine Nene getting a bit persistent, like... He just needs encouragement. Hanako-kun, he's surprisingly shy... But I can take the lead-! That kind of mindset.

To Amane, she feels strangely pushy, like, why does she keep trying, saying things like that, she should be more careful. I'm a, guy, ugh, Yashiro, you can't just go inviting these things, you don't know what'll happen. [guy who is a murderer voice] He feels ah, poked, prodded, goaded. ? And he kind of is... but that's scary for Amane, like-!! He's kind of all or nothing, in my mind, holding it all back or... Losing control, in a haze, brain overheated, boiling inside. Need to DO something...

So even if Nene was encouraging or even fantasizing about ~something~ happening between them, I think the inciting action is very sudden, harsh, without warning. And so it feels violating! Getting pinned down, groped, mouthed desperately... Tights shoved out of way quickly, and, by the time he drives a finger in, her mind is going blank.

Ah that's another element... I think of fingering super often as their first time! Fingering expresses something like, impatience in Amane, wanting to hurriedly shove inside! There's no time, he wants to confirm everything in tactile touch, wants to feel her warm and wet insides! Her living body-!! Raurgh... It's a lot of effort to unbuckle, unzip, get self out, and, there's a loss of control at that point that is too scary almost? I think Amane's hind brain worries about getting out his cock. (Again, it's kind of like.🔪🔪🔪)

Luckily for Amane he has a finger fetish and, I think it results in admiring other's fingers, as well as being very fixated on interfacing things with his own. Verrry stimulated by wiggling fingers inside, feeling the give of inner walls, reaching far into her. There'll be a point where he gets lost in the raw sensations of pumping in and out. As for Nene... I always think she's besieged by genuine confusion, disorientation, some fear (as she can't get away, can't push him off), then sadness (why didn't he tell me he wanted to...) Yet she is simultaneously enthralled to get to feel something so intense.

There's. [sigh.....] A joke in PP that insinuates Nene masturbates a lot... I internalize this as truth, and a part of her whole romance-obsession and, the way she goes on flights of fancy... Nene-chan is someone who has spent a lot of time ~fantasizing~... and she has imagined guys being forceful with her... For a girl who worries about being unwanted and ugly, it'd be relieving for someone to instead be so into her they MUST touch her. So it's not all bad, I think she does feel her heart pounding wildly in her chest, is amazed at how Amane holds her close. When Amane feels things... it's with crazy intensity! Something you never see on anyone else! So that's incredible to witness...

The aftermath can go any which-way, but let's say generally I think of things getting 'better' over time... Even with the fraught start. ❤

Those are generally the things I envision in canon. I like to go anywhere between V1-8, mostly focusing on things before PP & the Severance. Picture Perfect arc is like, it's own beast, so envisioning a first time occurring then has a different vibe. That being said, I have a delusion that in PP, Amane was going to finger Nene-chan at the movies. And I've thought very hard about him fingering her in the jail cell, while Nene pretends to be unconscious. 😶

Also in AUs, like mundane non-magic ones, I like to think of them going at a pretty steady pace of hanging out, flirting, getting to know each other. But then, Amane suddenly drags Nene into a closet or bathroom stall and fingers her with 0 conversation beforehand, really putting Nene through a lot emotionally wrhghfh... Even in a world where there's less extreme circumstance, I guess I envision Amane just being so bad at things like asking permission. He really would rather not. He'd prefer, taking advantage of openings. "Houdai"... *sighs*

AmaTsuka

The twins... Ooh, they are so painful for me to think about. In adoration of each other, and yet...💔 Haaa. I will be blunt, I think they have it the hardest, when it comes to consummating... The disadvantage of the incest taboo isn't negligible; it isn't an intuitive thought, to be attracted to your twin brother. Why, how? That's not how it's 'supposed' to be. I think Amane and Tsukasa both struggle to identify their feelings as romantic/sexual. Though-! I think Amane is closer to 'seeing' it, but he's also a lot more avoidant about confronting sensitive feelings like that. (Even with Nene...) So.

The result of this all is: the ultimate slow burn, taking yeeeears to remotely realize their feelings. And even if one of them does, if they don't have confidence the other reciprocates, they can't make progress...

(Looking at AUs, the lovers suicide seems STEP 1 of romance actualization. Amane needs to, reach his limit EXPLODE, take Tsukasa with him... Perhaps, do crazy things like drink his blood, eat his fingers, hold his heart in his fist.)

As you can imagine... Sex is a very far-off goal... And ah, another factor that muddies things is, I think Amane and Tsukasa both have unusual sexualities... the sort of thing you can't really put labels on. I will be blunt, I never think of them as being attracted to 'boys'... because, there's no attraction to the general concept of maleness, and they'd never like. Have a crush on some guy, ever. This is strictly an obsession with one another, and further defined by roles/inclinations of theirs. Tsukasa being very servile & masochistic, while Amane is very domineering & sadistic. Another reason why things tend to culminate in something as extreme as heart-stab. Uncontrollably into 🔪stabbing and being stabbed.💘

The prelude to this all is in childhood; many fleeting 'incidents'... Small moments where they colluded sexually, like — were both horny about something they were doing together. But that "something" could be any number of innocuous things... such as.

Chasing each other in the yard, pretending to be dinosaurs, playbiting. Rough-housing in a pool, holding each other underwater, wiggling out from each other's grasps. Laying around on the floor indoors, bicycling legs together, devolving into nudging and kicking the other. Having... a staring competition? Throwing food for the other to catch in their mouth-!? The list goes on... it gets eccentric, minuscule. Invisible. Aroused by Amane commanding you in a callous tone. Aroused by Tsukasa licking something off his fingers mindlesssly. Heart racing while Amane circles you, examines your yukata, adjusts your obi, laughs under his breath. Holding Tsukasa's mouth open to inspect the new gap from the recently lost baby tooth, seeing remnants of bloody tissue.

Mesmerized by one another. Made to feel a distant twinge of heat. Throat clenching, making it hard to talk. Blinking slowly. These physical responses are as mysterious as the instigators... Neither twin can understand it... Wouldn't it feel absurd to think anything of it? You're probably just excited to be with your brother, because you love your brother, because you're supposed to love your brother. 'The end.'

There's no way to really pursue anything they feel. It's all brief... ends as abruptly as it starts. Kind of lost between Tsukasa's cluelessness, and Amane's defensiveness. I think Tsukasa follows Amane's lead, let's him set the tone, and it's Amane that wants to dismiss things, laugh it off, explain it away. Even so, these incidents are endless little dots accumulating over their entire childhood. Building up steadily.

Another detail... I tend to HC the twins as being easily affectionate and touchy throughout most of their childhood. Comfortable to reach for the other's hand, play together, take naps, etc. Even bathing was likely very mundane, your basic skinship.

Many years spent like this! Friendly, touchy, comfortable.

As they age, there's a bit more distance... modesty. I think Amane is the one who gets rather stiff, more like 'sigh, come on...' [not looking at Tsukasa when he grabs his hand.] Sounding beleaguered, something like that... Increased tsundere, really.

(They're still very close though. Without thinking about it... anyone else would see them as quite attached.)

Noting this though because I think of Amane as suffering more from the onset of ~puberty~... Like genuinely, ah, more pervasive awareness of own arousal, struggling with getting hard over nothing. More. Debilitated. By penis. Can't let gaze linger on Tsukasa when they get dressed in the morning. Because. It's weird now. Kind of like an invisible wall is manifesting between him and Tsukasa steadily...

Tsukasa is aware of the growing distance, but... his inclinations are to presume Amane simply finds him annoying... (Despite what we see in PP, I've yet to think that 12-13 yo Tsukasa was quite so *tackle glomp*... I think yorishiro Tsukasa is his own entity, more adjacent to an excitable 3 yo Tsu. Currently think of 12 yo boy as more modest as well...) Anyways this miscommunication occurs... concurrent with Tsukasa's unconscious pining for Amane deepening, which manifests as a urgency to be useful to him in some manner. A continuation of his feelings as a child...

Going to try and explain a philosophy of mine, but. I think if the twins had sex, they wouldn't have died, so. Logically they did not, and that's why they're ghosts in canon setting. And as ghosts, I can't see AmaTsuka managing to have sex without TsuNene/3way happening first. Nene-chan provides necessary encouragement and motivation for both as they struggle with recognizing what they feel. In a lot of ways, her simple-girl outlook on things helps her go, gasp... Wait, is it, love? WHICH... THEY REALLY NEED... And unfortunately I think Amane is a tough nut to crack, he kind of needs a certain amount of pressure. A girl scolding him. (And it needs to be Amane who does something, because Tsukasa won't...)

Related to that... I usually think Amane needs to endure a bit of cucking, in some form, first, before, making his move. He needs to feel agony as Tsukasa's first kiss is with someone else. He needs to be on the brink of tears thinking about Tsukasa's virginity. We really need to cattle prod Amane until he puts his foot down. Get insane... That's... MY otouto, he's MINE, I KILLED HIM AND HE'S MINE, HE BELONGS TO ME, HE'S MY PROPERTY!!! I DECIDE WHAT HE GETS!! ! !! !! *froths*

Once you get him going though, it's— you need, look no further, he will be unstoppable. All those years, man! I think it could be as batshit as choking Tsukasa against the ground while humping him. Or like immediately facefucking him. Jerking Tsukasa off with one hand, holding his jaw in the other, crazily talking down at him. Fingering his mouth, throat, making him gag. Any number of things. Sometimes Nene-chan must watch as Tsukasa gets an agonizing overstimulating blowjob. Poor baby... *but she was instigating this & also it IS important it happens* *sits with mouth pressed in line*

Now... putting a little integrity aside... When I want to soothe my brain, I think about the Yugi somehow miraculously managing something in their childhood. (You have to just assume this is fate-altering, a new timeline emerged from it.) My favorite backdrop for childhood first times is something at Tanabata... Age 8. After running around together, laughing, holding hands... Laying in the grass, on this warm summer night. Scent plumes from your yukata collars. Sweaty... Hazy...

I think about things like, Amane being careless and just — kissing Tsukasa on impulse. Some measly thought behind it like, it'd be fun to imitate what couples do, it would be fun to watch Tsukasa react to a kiss lol, etc. Frustratingly easygoing about it, since he's not thinking hard... Tsukasa is left stunned, spellbound. He has special feefees about Tanabata and, fixates on the romantic elements more, so I think it's overwhelming for him...

Well, ig there's no reason not to include these sketches of mine.

You get the vibe. Similar to how he shmoozes Nene really, somehow... the doting, the condescending! Playfulness. Not being as serious as he ought to be.

Though at this age I don't think Amane is as encumbered as 50 yo murder-suicide ghost Hanako... So I think he can initiate more with Tsukasa. Ahhh I usually think about them either tucked behind a stall or somewhere distant from the festival, Amane hiking his yukata up and Tsukasa curious, eager to please, easily coaxed into a blowjob. Thinking so simply... it's like kissing Amane... but here.

This is probably the most innocent I can envision it... Something like this, it's more explorative, experimental. Kind of extrapolating on how they're always playing together, this can feel like another 'game'... sort of.

[blinks] I realize I can't possibly summarize AU AmaTsuka shennanies... not meangfully. I think it's. For lack of kinder terms, a lot of dumb yaoi bullshit, I don't know. AidaIro are really faffing off in those AUs... Like, I think TS Tsukasa just goes to their dorm and puts on that stupid bunny mask Amane is horny about and Amane just gets to jerk off onto him. Bakeneko Ryokan Amane is just fucking Tsukasa in the sabi space or whatever and their collars are jingling in unison. The Valentine's day devil-angel twins are just going to have SEX later as prize for Amane winning the bet. I hate it so much. Let's move on.

TsuNene

[clearing my mind...]

After those other two pairings, it kind of amuses me to say, I think TsuNene have a lot less... emotional obstacles, stopping them from getting close. But it's kind of mean, the major difference is that they're both more open, honest individuals than Amane... That's just the truth! Oh well 💔💔 At least they love him dearly so, he's not going to be left behind or anything...

I often internally describe TsuNene as a "schoolyard romance"... having chemistry the way two kindergartners would, playing in the sandbox together. Nene easily gets carried away, and so does Tsukasa! Childish, naive, silly-willies! These two are prone to getting lost in the throes of playtime, hardly stopping to second-guess much... Recent updates have really delighted me, as we finally get to see Tsukasa and Nene play together directly! Even though he's been the mysterious "villain" Nene has fleeting interactions with... They wind up playing tag, laughing while flying around, and singing together, now don't they?

⬆A dream come true for me... All the potential I see in TsuNene well exemplified here.

Of course, not to discredit the other moments they've had together... I think TsuNene is so very real in the manga! (Really, it's just that others have taken a while to acknowledge it.) I've based a lot of my writing, etc. on things like the red house arc...

I think Nene can easily find Tsukasa cute, precious, sweet and smart! She can step up and be the onee-san between them too, much like she does with 8 yo Amane as well... Meanwhile, I think Tsukasa formed a crush on Nene back here... A nice pretty girl doting on him. And she likes Amane too, ahh... They are matching!

If they spend enough time hanging out, I think it's inevitable for them to get along, really...

There are things Tsukasa lacks, like.. a kind of territorial, demanding quality. Amane pushes himself onto Nene, makes ploys for her attention, wants to be seen as cool (and he does the very same to Tsukasa, as well.) He 'puts it on', he 'works you over'... Tsukasa is the opposite; he doesn't ask anything of the other. He's not jealous... he doesn't have expectations. He's just, Tsukasa, he only thinks to respond honestly. A little kid showing you a bug, because he thinks you'll like it. I think this is disarming...!

On top of it all, there's this ethereal quality to him, as he thinks so bluntly, and isn't encumbered by what is 'acceptable'... So he will hold your face and look directly into your eyes, and say aloud what he observes you feeling. Or ask you what you're feeling, because he's curious. Or, say how he's feeling... He can be so direct. He can say he likes you, or thinks you are pretty.

It's just so direct... I think a girl could really appreciate that! While Amane is teasing, fussy, rude... it can be mysterious if Amane even likes you... With Tsukasa, no mystery! As Nene is befriending him, he would certainly seem as though he likes her... maybe just so innocently, it's hard to discern romance from it.

Basically I think in any timeline/world, Nene is destined to go through the thought process: Wait, does Tsukasa-kun like me? I had no idea... all along, is that what 'this' was? *looks back on memories* Eh- well- m-maybe that's...

... no, um. Hmm. Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself...

Lol but just as well, it doesn't stop Nene from confronting how she would feel if this were the case. IF it's possible that Tsukasa likes her... then. Nene basically begins forming a sense of excitement at the prospect, deep in her heart. Her imagination runs wild... because, of course, she can't help but like him... She's deep down attracted to Amane, and I think. She is. Allured. By the concept of being courted by, twins. Multiple boys... we know Nene is weak to the idea.

Usualllyyyy, I think about them getting as far as a kiss on their own, and the idea of more is a bit intimidating... at first. But if Nene is lustful she could succeed in taking it further, really. I think, she can just, reach under that hakama, and there's no resistance. At most Tsukasa is simply ah, overwhelmed like, did not know Nene-chan liked me that much! Did not ever think about getting to do things with a girl ever! Has never... felt... desirable, in that way... That's almost like, not what he's 'for'...

As manic as he is usually, I think Tsukasa gets very 6.6 [small...] in an intimate moment like this. It's that way he gets, where he struggles to dream even about humble platonic things... All the fixation on romance as well means, kissy, touchy, is like /// wah //// so you like me that much...// //// Subsequently, Nene-chan must take the lead! But again... if she's confident enough, she can do it...

They're cute... I really just think about, her hand reaching under hakama, kimono... first grasping and feeling under the layers of clothes, heart racing. She's ah, nervous too of course... Excited though, to finally feel 'it', weouue.... Real boy... Cute boy, flustered boy! Amusingly enough I think she'd really wish to see, Tsukasa's junk directly but it's so many layers it feels, like invasive in a way she isn't confident about. So instead it's like mmh... mostly fixating on the sensations of her hand around him, the twitching she can feel.. Until it gets too much for her and she neeeeds to feel it inside. (In my mind Nene is insatiable, has almost no patience for waiting for PIV... Like ah amusingly Amane can keep her at bay from it, when she'd wish it would be sooner. COBCVK!!! NEED>....)

Dunno why but I often imagine them in doggystyle... It's a different vibe than when I picture HanaNene in it also — more clumsy! Nene on all fours, Tsukasa close up against her, clutching her... Tsukasa is more liable to slip out and need help rearranging, reaching back, being slipped in... Lose 'rhythm', struggle to focus! I also like Tsukasa struggling to stay hard... sometimes get half-chubs, fluctuating. Fffeeels good thoughhh... for both of them. They're both like >< >< ouuh.... Squeeze... He squeeze, cling to her, she nuzzles by tilting her head back against him...

By the end it's like... flop over!! Touch foreheads!! Kiss, thread fingers...!! Bwbwhuuu... Peaceful afterglow... whisper to each other about it...

... in a world where neither of them have gotten to bridge intimacy with Amane yet, it's very like... sighs together... Wish they could talk to him about it, wish they could share it with him, in some way. Though I think they could keep boning for a while before doing anything about it kfkfjh like... W-well, it's fun and good andndhfhg no reason not to.

And that's

thesis.

On all pairings. Houugh. [crumples up...]

I'd almost feel silly describing HanaNeneTsuka itself since, that's what I'm always posting about and drawing porn of kfkgjhsdg... [briefly imagining like, me describing the twins taking turns coming in Nene and eating her out or something...] The. It's fine. Just imagine the way all 3 of these perfectly intersect. Everyone is really really really really really into each other and they get along. Anyways there's my fanfic, as I mentioned, which is culminates in the three-! And... also this blog archiving RPs between me and my wife I've been chipping away at. Lose your mind there if you need.

OKAY thanks goodnight.

#☀️#💬#❤️🤍💜#i haven't had much energy lately... *coughs blood*#but i can offer you. this.

7 notes · View notes

aphroditelovesu · 11 months

Note

Hello how are you ? I've seen you receive match requests. If you don't mind, can you do it for me? Honestly, I couldn't decide which characters to choose. I wonder if a match is possible with all possible characters? If not, I want a match for other Hotd/Got/Harry Potter characters.If you have characters you want to add, it would be fun for me.

I am 1.75 tall (5'8 inch) ,brown eyes, curly dark brown and short hair (up to my shoulders), chubby and white skin. I am 23 years old and I am a Gemini. infp. I'm from Ravenclaw building according to WW test. Most of the time I'm heterosexual, but occasionally I think I'm homesexual. I love writing stories, reading, digital drawing, watching movies and listening to music. I am interested in witchcraft, parapsychology, herbs and crystals. I love animals. (😅 except for the ones I'm afraid of.) I have an understanding, gentle and caring nature. I'm not belligerent. But it's only when my patience runs out. I'm too devoted and I can't say no. I feel that sometimes people really don't understand or don't want to understand me. I am emotional. I am eager to help everyone, but I do not have the courage to ask for help for myself.

Of course. I've chosen two that I think match your description, but if you disagree, let me know what you think: I ship you Hermione Granger and Jon Snow/Aegon Targaryen.

Hermione Granger is a protective friend and even more as your girlfriend. She adores you and your personality, although she was shy to make advances on you, she approached after discovering that the two of you have mutual interests, like studying Hogwarts, writing, reading and animals, maybe you'll like Crookshanks. One of Hermione's favorite traits is her intelligence and her kindness, but her kindness can also annoy her. She hates the fact that you always go out of your way to help others, often because of her own jealousy and insecurity, but also because she thinks those people don't deserve her kindness. Only she knows how to appreciate you. Hermione loves studying with you and takes advantage of these moments to get your full attention, whether laying her head on your shoulder or just a few kisses and subtle caresses. She's not the clingy type, but she can become a little bit after falling in love with you.

She's so protective of you that it's cute even if it's disturbing at times.

Jon Snow is the most loving man you will ever meet in your entire life. And his love, which has been suppressed for years, is fully poured out on you. Jon can and will feel insecure about you, he's afraid that he doesn't deserve you, that he, being a bastard, doesn't deserve someone as amazing and perfect as you. He feels unworthy and this is dangerous as once jealousy and anger take over Snow's mind he will become paranoid and overprotective of you. He doesn't have bad intentions but he is very passionate and doesn't want to be abandoned, he loves you so much he doesn't want anything bad to happen to you and it won't, not while he's alive. Jon will absolutely adore you and he will be very happy if you read to him, the sound of his voice calms him down and he can even purr like a cat if you pet him. Ghost would definitely like you too, which would make Jon very happy. You are a little taller than him and it doesn't bother him, he thinks it's cute and loves to fit in his arms. You are perfect in his eyes, his goodness is bestowed, and he won't let anyone ruin that trait in you.

Love this man and never leave him, please. If you leave him, bad things can happen.

#ask #yandere harry potter #yandere hermione granger #yandere hermione grander x reader #yandere game of thrones #yandere got #yandere jon snow #yandere jon snow x reader #yandere game #match game #yandere concept #concept #a song of ice and fire #asoiaf

33 notes · View notes

flownwrong · 8 months

Note

happy wincest wednesday (in advance, i'm actually thinking ahead for once)! I'm all about the crossovers this week: how do you think Sam and Dean's Disco Elysium stats work? They've obviously got a lot of points put in everywhere, what with all the hero stuff, but what do you think are their signature skills? Do they have any unique ones? Thoughts, thoughts <3

happy happy ww, z! thanks for the awesome question <3 (your previous one is still not forgotten btw!)

oh jeez! i can immediately see dean generally tending towards psych/phys, obv, and sam more confident with intellect/motorics (like lol e.g. i think it's more or less canon dean is a somewhat better shot, but that boy does Not know what composure even is, let alone savoir faire)

i do think they're fun custom builds though — sam is defoooo high up on volition scale, to the point it's my closest contender for signature, and suggestion—a deadly, borderline sociopathic combo, when you remember all that composure and rhetoric waiting in the wings. but with that much volition—he has a final say in what he is, always and ever, as demonstrated in swan song, the entirety of s9, the list is endless.

and no one can beat his endurance+pain threshold combo. we saw many try. it's just easier to hit him in a thinner spot (electrochemistry seems to be one. not much care over it, but also not much control. the rubys and lady tonis of the world see it plain as day. it won't make him open up to you, but it will work as a carrot for choice goals.)

dean, i imagine, lives life immersed in a conversation between half-light (isn't it fun to think of moc > demon dean pipeline as his natural half-light predisposition steadily getting maxed-out to the point it cancels out his psyche sensitivity?) and drama (which, in his case more of a genuine mutability + desire for connection and participation than a performative weapon. comes with the ability to see through it in others (ruby anyone?) and i'd go with it for signature.)

i believe all of this is modified by his high empathy turned endless feeling of responsibility, leaving half-light in more of a fear of abandonment+pessimism line of thought position than a deranged aggro position.

i'd also bet he's not bad on shivers (all those long drives in the impala, talking gently to the road!) and very much an esprit de corps guy when it comes to hunting teamwork, while sam is the resident encyclopedia king, not opposed to flexing the authority either.

all of this is just the usual framework where sam is immutable and dean is relatively easy to mold, but not easy to fundamentally change, whatever he might think about his own liabilities and failings, of course.

and a little of those unique skills, as a treat; i know DE fandom loves inventing those, which makes all the sense, we don't all live in harry's head, so.

i'd give dean the one called family business, haha. that would be john's voice in his head when it comes to all that hero responsibility paid for by own desires (it would have a field day with WIAWSNB dean or the pre-s6 family guy dean), hunting community (e.g. the whole bobby deal), taking in companions and friends to that end, occasionally finding himself in a mentor position later on. mostly unpleasant. always loses checks against anything sam-related.

sam, i'd go with boy king, lol. his natural ability to pick up and use supernatural skills that, when maxed out enough to mess with his volition, gave us the beauty of s4, let lucifer get hold of him to the degree he did in s7, and in later years made him suitable for trials and rowena's trust and occasional spellwork, but, from his point of view, is just kind of a nuisance, and a dangerous one at that. imagine what fun it would be to listen in on this tempting voice always suggesting he go back and flex those powers, it would be so easy to just—yeah.

(you said unique skills not cool skills!! unique fuckups are just more fun)

anyways. that's that. thanks again it was so much fun to think about!

#spn #samndean #disco elysium #musings #ww asks

9 notes · View notes

socheckitout-mikey · 2 years

Note

as a certified shy bean ^tm could you do some tlb x shy read hc? >WW<

heya lovely! tysm for requesting this. i hope you enjoy what i came up with and sorry that it took me so long to post it! (': <3 - mae

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The Lost Boy's x Shy Reader Hc's:

David:

° For some reason he loves to tease you whenever you get all shy, because you’re just too adorable. He loves getting a reaction out of you so he may come across as a sarcastic menace at times. However, it’s all in good fun.

° Anybody else who makes fun of your shyness gets flawlessly roasted to filth by this confident snarky vampire. He doesn’t spare any feelings.

° He loves it when you begin to grow more comfortable in his presence, because, “Was there really any need to be shy, kitten? I don’t bite.” Lmaoo but he definitely does!

° Groups and big crowds may not be your thing, which David doesn’t mind. Sure he might tease you but he gets it; people suck anyway. He’s not much of a people person himself, if he’s being honest.

° If the other boys are being too wild for you David tells them to knock it off and they do. One leather finger or smooth bleached eyebrow raised ensures they keep their traps shut.

° David is surely the one that helps you get out of your comfort zone slowly and subtly. He’s persuasive, but he’s not exactly Paul. This entails that he won’t hold your hand and parade around the town with you. He’s more inclined to go, “What’s the one thing you’ve always wanted to do (within reason) and never have?”

° Thus expect to do said thing with David - even if it is a little lame. David won’t judge! He’s gonna ease you into the scene and his comfort comes in more subtle fashions, like a hand on the small of your back, his tickling breath in your ear and so on.

° This Prince of Darkness™ is all about making you feel as comfortable as he possibly can. He’s extremely fond of you (maybe even a little soft), which covers all aspects of your being. If he were to reject your shyness, that wouldn’t be very David of him, now would it?

Dwayne:

° Honestly, Dwayne is the most patient of the four and gets the whole quiet thing you’ve got going on. He’s like your rock, bridging you between his rowdy/obnoxious brothers, and your quiet safe space.

° He takes on a natural role of being a protector and checking in on you when you seem to become more quiet than usual. Dwayne gives you the space that you need whilst also maintaining that you don’t isolate yourself too often. He’s a balance. Also, his protectiveness comes in the shape of him understanding you can hold your own completely fine, but he’s there to ward off those less understanding or willing to take advantage of you.

° Not going to lie, he’s probably the most confident out of you both so has no problem ordering food, movie tickets/snacks, etc. He’s just the kindest and sweetest about it. He makes you feel empowered, accepting you for who you are, because Dwayne is a sweet boii!

° Dwayne’s quiet, not shy, which is a huge difference. So be prepared for him to grow hyper and excitable once he’s comfortable around you. You’ll think he’s got Mexican Jumping Beans in his pants or something sometimes lmaoo! He does expect the same from you too, because he understands that someone who’s shy doesn’t necessarily negate them from having a great sense of humor, passions, personality and so on. Dwayne welcomes any weirdness that you bring to the table, because that makes you, you!

° Never apologise for your shyness, because Dwayne finds it incredibly adorable. It doesn’t bug him at all and it would bum him out if you weren’t confident in yourself.

° He pulls you out of your comfort zone along with him, making you feel safe when engaging in new things. Dwayne never forces anything upon you, instead letting you explore things naturally.

° He grins all big and teases you a little when you get all shy. He’s a little bit sadistic, so a little embarrassment from you won’t hurt.

° He repays you in kisses and soft nips on your shoulder, with apologies whispered onto your skin. It’s not sultry, but he’s attempting to hide the humour in his tone.

Marko:

° Around others Marko doesn’t know - and people that he doesn’t like -, he isn’t his complete self. So in some ways, he relates to your shyness too. That is until Dwayne explains to him that other factors may come into play that go beyond withdrawing or distrust.

° Oh boy does Marko tease you because he loves how embarrassed you get. But no one else can tease you because he takes their motivations as bad ones. Marko is the most sadistic out of the boys, next to David of course, so sometimes he can be a bit heavy, but his intentions weren’t to hurt you. He just likes getting under your skin a little is all.

° He’s incredibly protective of you and likes to slowly introduce you to new things - especially when Paul’s involved, as Twisted Sister may be inclined to get a bit too wild.

° He once started a fight with a Surf Nazi for ramming into you and when you didn’t have the courage to say anything, Marko did.

° “Hey asshat!” Is all Marko said before fists were flying! It’s safe to say that Surf Nazi became dinner for him in the late hours of the night when David was distracting you in the Cave.

° Animals have a healing effect, so when things are overwhelming in the sensory department, Marko will take you to see his pigeons and other animals he’s befriended. A pigeon will just perch itself on your knee, it’s little eyes blinking several times before Marko says, “I think Tubro likes you, babes!”

° Turbo definitely pecks him whenever Marko touches you, which makes him complain in a disgruntled fashion that his pet bird is a “traitor”. It certainly makes you laugh, which makes Marko grin beautifully.

Paul:

° Paul is the least understanding about your shyness, but he’s good natured about it. He tries to understand, yet finds it challenging. It’s just that Paul is insanely extroverted so he thinks for a moment that you may be hiding your personality from him as if you don’t like him or aren’t comfortable in his presence. Both theories dishearten him quite a bit until Dwayne becomes your saving grace: and once Paul gets that you’re just shy, he thus takes things less personally. (He’s a bit of a drama queen lmaoo.)

° All bets are off now, and he teases you a ton! It’s almost relentless at points in time. He finds your teasing cutesie and goes out of his way to make you shy. He loves that you grow comfortable enough to engage in harmless, playful banter with him. Be warned that his teasing can go too far, but he’ll always apologise sincerely with that playful grin you’ve grown to love. You can’t resist his charms!

° Paul is the best to venture out of your comfort zone as he acts like a big clown in order to make you laugh and feel at ease. He helps you have fun doing whatever it is that you’re doing!

° “This’s a first for me too, babes. No harm in winging it, right?” Although he has got a vibrant smile on his countenance, his words are joyfully comforting. Paul makes you feel exhilarated and safe at the same time.

° He doesn’t ever make you feel bad for being shy, encouraging you instead to just be yourself. You help even him out, but can also keep up with Paul’s unpredictable hyperness. You gotta be a bit wild and non-judgemental to be with him.

° Expect Paul to get bored whilst doing the same things too many times in a row, especially if they’re quieter activities. Balancing things out is best for both of you.

° He’s also pretty clingy, which entails that he doesn’t understand the concept of personal space all too well. So if you’re independent to a high degree, Paul may become mopey and press boundaries, because he craves your company and touch. He likes having you around is all. He’s a social creature.

° Paul will also ask questions that may be a bit insensitive, because he’s just a curious guy! He wants to know why you keep doing x,y and z.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

please like, reblog and follow for more!

requests: closed!

177 notes · View notes

kitakit-otome · 1 year

Text

Just downloaded the new Obey Me app and I’m going to be giving it my review and opinion!

I never finished the first game, got around to season 2 some time after the MC came back from the human world and then my phone ran out of memory for the game lol. It kept lagging so much and sometimes it would just crash right away so I gave up an uninstalled it from my old phone 🥲

But I did get hundreds of followers in my old tumblr account because of Obey Me and honestly it was such a fun game at the time. I had fun interacting with other fans of the fandom and gush over our love for the demon brothers. I wasn’t too keen on the MC’s origin story so I’m just gonna… ignore it 😅

For those who don’t know, I am working on the design for my online persona for the past week now who is an angel, but now after playing OMN a bit it’s been giving me the itch to give her a sort of alter ego or alternative versions of herself. So I’m planning on the works of her human form (which I guess will represent me in the old Obey Me game) and her demon form which will represent me in Nightbringer. I’ll post it here when I’m done if anyone’s interested because for sure I’m gonna start drawing art for Obey Me again after this.

Anyway I digress—

I really like the new features of the DDD app in Nightbringer. We have a new rhythm game that I don’t really understand yet how to time my attacks.. and we have like a parody of the Marauder’s Map from Harry Potter?

They also have 3D models for the boys now! I love watching the interactions between the brothers with this, plus it’s great for the video call feature in the Wanderer’s Whereabouts because it seems a bit more realistic than just the audio calls we used to get. The 3D models are very expressive and the animation seems smooth. The backgrounds are being used well here from the old version of the game.

And I think it’s cute that we can see the brothers voice their thoughts when we gift them a sheep stuffed toy. We’re essentially spying on them or “babysitting” as the brothers sees it. Since we are their attendant now in this game, ordered by Diavolo, I guess it makes.. sense? Humans have like a CCTV in their homes to keep an eye on things when they’re not around so I think that’s what the WW is meant to be as an app. It’s not bad of a feature and I enjoy seeing more of the animations of the brothers being put to use.

Also can we please take a moment for this scene of Mammon wondering why he cares about this toy so much that resembles his MC (AKA us)?! 😭

Bro doesn’t know us because of the plot line of the game being the MC traveling back in time (I don’t really know why yet aside from the premise of a certain demon granting our wish of taking us to somewhere where we will be happy AKA to reunite with the 7 brothers in the Devildom)

You will probably need to play the first game to understand what’s going on. Or at least to understand our connection to the characters of the game from the future timeline.

Personally I think the new chibi art of the game is stellar! Super cute! The designs on the cards are great too.

The story seems interesting and I’m getting really hooked since we have a lot of new apps on the DDD to keep me from being bored. I felt like the affection raise in the first game seemed useless but it was explained to me that affection level allows you to get bonus stuff like Devilgram posts or extra calls, so yeah that’s cool to know now.

I think my only complaint is the rhythm game mechanics. I don’t really get how it works or I do and the timing is off? I don’t know if I’m the only one who has this problem or what, but I’m annoyed that I keep missing so much like wtf. My scores in the first game were way better than this 😭 Every time I tap when the item is on the line it just doesn’t work so I don’t know what I’m doing wrong lmao

I’ll continue playing the game but so far I want to give it a 7.5/10 ⭐️ I will be posting more of this game soon.

#obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me nightbringer

17 notes · View notes

noctswife · 1 year

Photo

while on my gbf kick i realized i hadnt posted pics of my artbook (Extra Works VI)! Extra pics under the cut + some thoughts

pic 1: Lots of pics from GBFes 2019! I wish they would release the art made for gbfes digitally, there’s a lot of cute, fun, and experimental stuff here that would be good for icons and edits.

Also there was a picture of grimmy in his cooking attire from grand blues!, and I tried to clean it up the best I could since he’s my son. The text reads “CHESTNUUUUT Rice!” (the joke being that “GRIIII” sounds similar to “KURIIII”, the japanese word for chestnut)

Image 3: I liked the different experimental paneling they tried out for korwa’s uncap art! I find this kind of stylistic choice very fun (I enjoy lunalu’s manga-type paneling uncap arts too)

Image 4: I especially liked the concept with cassius’ face being reflected in the ramune bottle, but I get why they didn’t use it. I do wish the actual uncap art was at night, though, with the contrast being more vibrant and having a more dreamy vibe.

Image 5: Grimmy!!! Honestly, I love all these concepts and their chuunibyou goodness. I do kind of wish they went with the bottom two, since they incorporate his lance better (Bottom right below since it’s out of focus)

Image 6: I just think the blue color looks cuter with a more sailor boy aesthetic, especially with the non-hood alt. There’s a boyish charm to it ww

Image 8: There was a lot of ladiva in this, which I didn’t expect but absolutely enjoyed! I loved the different layouts they tried, and each has their own charm! The first one has this teddybear ladiva, which is absolutely criminal that it didnt make into the final cut.

They also had these lines for ladiva’s sprites in her battle, which make me want to get the gbvs artbooks to see the attention to detail they put into the animations there

Image 9: There were a lot of front-back references for various outfits, which I didn’t expect. There were also a lot of concepts for vikala, first various ideas and then two pages of them messing with colors and bits for a more finalized one

The concept artwork for the chaos and promise albums was also included. I like the top artwork’s use of white (or I guess black) space and contrast, but I guess it wouldn’t make for an interesting back cover. I do think it would have been nice to reuse it for that belial ps4 skin that also was monochromatic. Speaking of belial...

Here’s an alternate concept for his adjutant outfit, with a slightly more armored look. the calf-high boots are quite nice!

All in all, I think this book is a good pick for:

WMTSB III concept art (Not a lot of deviations from the finalized stuff, but there’s a lot of it. Also quite a bit of maydays there)

Ladiva fans

Vikala fans (There’s like 10 pages of her. So much vikala)

Other stuff I didn’t include but is worth mentioning:

Eternals uncap art linework

Concepts for those side stories sketches that show up when you open the page

They considered giving uriel boxer-briefs for his swimsuit

Art for granblue channel eps 25 to 38

#gbf #granblue fantasy #grimnir #cassius #ladiva #sandalphon #sandalphon gbf #korwa #grimnir (gbf)#cassius (gbf)#ladiva (gbf)

39 notes · View notes

newvegascowboy · 5 days

Note

I was wondering what you thought of the fallout show. Is it multiple game plots in one? I haven't played the games myself so I'm not sure. But I've seen an episode of the show

Non spoilery general thoughts:

The show definitely draws elements from all the games. It definitely feels like it was made by people who really cared about how the world felt. Idk if you watched Westworld, but the director of that did this one, and s1 of WW was really good, so I wasn't too worried about the initial productive value of the show.

Sets, costumes, props - all stunning. I really appreciated the sparing use of CGI. Really loved how the vault suits looked, and the BOS flight suit looked awesome. Overall, visually, it was fucking excellent. At the very last it was a treat to watch.

If you havent played the games, then i think its a pretty friendly introduction. There are a few things which felt like tongue in cheek jokes to those that were familiar with the franchise, but nothing that was overly hostile to anyone who wouldn't get it.

Spoilery thoughts:

Plot wise.... idk if I really liked it. I really didnt like the worldbuilding they did for the west coast or for ghouls (and maybe im just a lore purist or whatever, but i just dont think what they did makes a lot of sense). Some of the characterization felt a little ??? Especially in the last 2 episodes. I did like all the characters and they were really fun. I think it could have benefitted from some more dialogue between characters, for lucy/the viewer's benefit, but also for characterization/motivation.

There are plotpoints that feel like callbacks (such as the water chip in vault 33 breaking, which... do they ever actually bring that up again?) The cryo freezing ties into fo4, and the lore established by fnv is... present, but ultimately of no consequence. The plot itself is most reminiscent of fo3, but it had a unique twist which i thought was interesting.

Like it was good. Maybe im iust a curmudgeon.

Ultimately i think the show is worth a watch, for the visuals if nothing else.

#fallout #kal talks #asks #fallout show spoilers

4 notes · View notes

coffincanary · 10 months

Note

hey happy ww to you too! very broad question but what are your (fave) dark!samdean headcanons? how dark is up to you<3

Happy WW, and thank you for the ask!! Broad questions are always fun, because there's a lot to do with them :D (Also, sorry for the length but dark struff gets me going). But uh, this got incredibly dark and messed up actually, so buyer beware

My current fave is that Sam enjoys hurting people a little too much, and Dean really, really likes being hurt.

CW for violence, gore/guro, very very extreme sadomasochism, non-con, some mentions of John/Dean

I think Sam probably liked hurting others when he was younger. Not really because he doesn't have empathy, he absolutely does and he feels quite acutely. At the same time, when he beat up a bully or got to kill a monster, it felt better than it should have. And because he has that empathy, he feels deeply guilty and disgusted at himself for it. Which is one of the reasons he's so reluctant to get into hunting again. It's been a while since I watched S1 but I remember thinking that Sam doesn't really kill/hurt a lot of monsters in the early episodes, so I will run with that and say it might be due to Sam being afraid of what he's gonna feel once he does.

But once he gets into hunting, all of those urges just come back stronger than ever. Some part of Sam loves hunting, and as a result, the rest of him hates it. But, he can't really stop, it's like an addiction. It's so intense for him to watch a monster breathe their last breath with his knife in their throat, or when he gets to chase down someone who's running away, afraid for their life. With Dean there, it's easy to keep in check however. There's an entire episode (2x3"Bloodlust") that's a about Dean enjoying hunting a little too much, and I feel like seeing Dean do something that seems morally wrong helps Sam to ground himself and stay away from hunting to just satiate his sadistic and murderous urges.

Dean likes hurting people, but even more than that, he loves being hurt in every way possible. I'm a big fan of Dean/John, and while I don't hc John as some kind of serial-rapist, I absolutely do think that something happened one night while John was drunk that kind of changed Dean.

Dean doesn't really value himself or his body, but I think one of the main reasons he's so willing to put himself in danger is also to satiate some kind of deep urge inside of him, awakened both by the feeling that he doesn't matter and that one night with John. The pain feels good to him, and he seeks it out almost compulsively. Dean does not want to be in control, so he seeks out scenarios where he isn't. I think that both shows during his hunts but also in his sex life. I think Dean would purposefully put himself into situations where he might be drugged and/or taken advantage off, just because part of him craves that sense of helplessness, return to it in some way to understand it, and because it absolutely arouses him.

Hell, in a way, was absolutely horrible and traumatizing and yet so utterly amazing. Dean got messed up in ways he can't even describe and part of him absolutely loved it. Things that wouldn't be possible to do to an alive human were so easily done in hell. And Dean had no control in any of it. Maybe his first time torturing someone was not because he wanted to hurt others, but because he was promised that he'd be on the rack again after.

Now, when it comes up between Sam and Dean, it gets messy. I feel like the first time it'd come up is Souless!Sam. Sam doesn't really have any inhibitions in that state, meaning that he spent an entire year hunting and hurting and killing without the moral inhibitions usually keeping him from exploring what that meant. Now, he used an entire year finding out what he liked.

And, as a result, he'd 100% do the worst possible things to Dean, if given the chance. Dean being turned into a vampire would be the best chance for Sam to try out what he wants on his beloved brother. Dean regenerates, so Sam goes absolutely crazy on him. He stabs, shoots, guts, cuts and hurts Dean in every possible way. By the end, both of them are hard, and Sam fucks Dean with his hands pushed into his brother's guts.

Their whole relationship in S6 would be pretty fucked up, even after Dean was cured. Sam can't really torture his brother the same way he did the first time, but he keeps doing what he can. Putting Dean into incredibly dangerous situations, fucking Dean when he's hurt and close to dying, but making sure to never actually letting him die. Having sex with Dean whereever he wants, no matter who can hear. It's kind of like the floodgates opened and years of suppressed feelings are now needing an out. Dean tries to protest, he really does, but Sam never really cares for it, and what can Dean do? He couldn't fight off John, either.

I think the memories of that time between Soulless!Sam and Dean would be the ones death locks up and also part of the ones that Cas essentially takes up, meaning that Sam, in the end, remembers nothing about what he did to his brother. He is back to his old, ashamed but controlled self. And Dean is left missing the other him, wondering whether that Sam is still there, somewhere, hidden. But, I don't think it would ever come up again, it's just another quiet burden Dean carries. The memories of it now used to push himself over the edge below his sheets.

#I don't know what this is #but it is something???#wincest wednesday #wincest #sam x dean #samdean #Supernatural

9 notes · View notes