#it's was in my on repeat anyway but let's just reinforce it

[izvmimi]

three for one - izuku x reader

cw: children mention. pregnancy mention. husband izuku, married female reader. reader wears a dress. a/n: a repost!

“I’ll be home in an hour. I can’t wait to see you.”

You smile ear to ear as you hang up, still savoring the sound of his voice, but in the immediate silence thereafter, the trepidation you’ve been feeling for the past month and a half resurfaces.

You let out a sigh as you set your cell phone onto the dinner table and return to the stove, turning pork cutlets that sizzle in oil and stirring a pot of soup. Rice steams in the cooker on the countertop, and the smell of Izuku’s favorite foods fill your home.

It smells heavenly, but you’re exhausted, and while the thought of the joy in his expression spurs you forth, you consider for a moment if you should have just aimed for takeout and an evening cuddling on the couch. The fact remains however that you haven’t seen your husband in two months and if you plan to give him life-changing news, you should probably do it over a home-cooked meal, even if he wouldn’t care either way. 

After all, you’ve been hiding the truth from him for months now, and you can’t possibly any longer.

Your belly turns a little, and you worry that you might throw up again before you see him. The table is set by now, and you clean up as much as you can of the kitchen, hoping that the sound of running water calms your nerves.

Before long, Izuku makes it home, right on time, and he’s a whirlwind of motion and joy - his bags go flying out of his hands, as he whisks you into his arm, nearly smothering you with an embrace.

“God, I missed you.”

He spins you as you reply the same, and you can’t help but laugh and squeeze silly tears from your eyes as you wrap your arms tighter around his neck. Your Izuku is back, safe, and you couldn’t be any more grateful. 

“I’m so happy you’re okay,” you say in a voice that’s thick with affection. Your lips meet quickly and don’t separate, engrossed in a dizzying kiss. Your hands run through his messy waves and once your lungs all scream for air, he buries his head into your neck, making a show of inhaling your scent.

“I missed you so much,” he repeats, kissing your cheek. “So much.”

More kisses pepper your skin, and you blink back a few tears, and nod somewhat embarrassed.  You’ve learned to be comfortable with his love language heavily reliant on touch. When he finally pulls back to look at you again, his smile is wide and innocent as usual, familiar and comforting.

Your Izuku, back for you. No scars, no injuries, you are thankful. 

Once he’s finally set you down completely, he begins to tell you excitedly about his adventure, but you don’t miss the gentle yet protective hold on your arms, and the careful once-over, where his eyes quickly scan your body for bruises and other injuries. It’s a habit he’s picked up over time that’s made it nearly impossible to hide your clumsiness from him (something that further reinforces the behavior). It makes you particularly nervous today however, given the circumstances.

Today you wear a baggy dress with an undershirt that covers your arms, the changes your body has undergone in his absence much less evident, but he can still see the anxiety that underlies the excitement in your eyes.

If he does notice, he doesn’t say anything immediately, opting again to kiss you on the forehead, and pet your hair gently.

“Were you good while I was gone?”

The warmth in your cheeks returns, and you nod but give him a playful punch on his shoulder anyway for the paternalistic remark. He grins, then changes the subject although he too is a bit nervous, your slightly muted behavior getting to him. His eyes glide over to the rest of your apartment finally, and then to the dinner table, lighting up immediately.

“Oh my God, that looks amazing.”

He moves over to the dinner table to peruse the wars; you follow him quickly, tension dissipating slightly with the discussion of food. 

“It better taste amazing too,” you joke, bumping himn on the hip. He takes the liberty to go one step forward and pat you on the ass before running off to the guest bathroom to wash his hands.

“Scrub beneath your fingernails!” you call after him, teasingly. You take the opportunity to wash your own hands in the kitchen sink again and consider what to do next.

How do you say this? Should  you wait and let him relax first? 

Surely it’s better if you say something before he puts two and two together? After all, the moment your clothes come off, he’ll notice.

Or perhaps he won’t. Perhaps he’ll just assume you’ve gained a few pounds and say nothing, kissing your belly softly as he’s prone to do. Perhaps it’ll be lovemaking as usual, and his usual sensitivity to your body and needs won’t be enough to notice.

But what if he does?

You were pregnant before he even left.

The days leading up to his trip had been hectic to say the least. Between the two of you preparing his departure, and the unnecessary safety precautions Izuku put in place for you for his absence, and your own work with the new Hero commission ramping up in urgency, you had barely registered that you’d missed one period and then another until you found yourself with a very positive pregnancy test.

What if it wasn’t the right time? Your marriage was still fresh, you’d just settled into the groove of being young professionals who lived together full time, and Izuku was so damn busy all the time-

“Come eat, love,” he calls from the other room. Your hand goes reflexively to your lower belly. 

You have to tell him now or you’ll agonize over it. Now is the time.

—

“Is it good?” you ask , smiling as you watch him eat with gusto. It’s a silly question because he’s nearly cleared his already overloaded plate.

“Incredible,” he says between ravenous bites. They say watching someone you love eat fills you up, and it’s true. Your cup is full of love.

“You’d say that even if it were awful,” you point out.

“Yes,” he admits, “but I haven’t had to,” he teases. You narrow your eyes at him playfully and he does an air kiss, cheesy enough to make you blow air out of your nose. You pick at your own dinner, but manage only to get a few bites in, which he notices.

It grows quiet for a moment as you think, and you wonder again if now is really the time, but he beats you to breaking the ice.

“Babe, is everything all right?”

Your heart starts to pound. You glance up from your plate towards him and he watches you curiously and patiently, a fleck of rice still stuck to his bottom lip. You consider deflecting, telling him something else that is not really a lie, because his gentle gaze and furrowed eyebrows betraying concern distress you. 

You don’t want to add more to his plate, figuratively.

And yet…

You swallow hard.

“Everything’s fine,” you start, and he nods, “but I have something to tell you.”

Izuku looks slightly surprised by the necessary warning shot. You don’t usually extend him that courtesy, so it’s clear that whatever you’ll say next is serious.

You breathe out slowly through your nose. Izuku watches you again carefully as you steel yourself.

“So you know how we haven’t been trying, but we’ve been a little less careful recently?”

Izuku’s eyes widen, and in the split second where the realization sets in, you can see his cheeks flush deeply and his mouth drop open in an ‘o’.

He immediately jumps to his feet.

“You’re pregnant?” he exclaims.

You nod slowly, and he seems to genuinely bloom with excitement.

“You… fuck, I-I can’t believe this! This is so exciting… babe!”

His hands rest on your shoulders then glide to your cheeks where he squishes them before kissing you again, barely able to contain himself.

Then immediately he starts to pace, the muttering beginning as he figures out what’s going to happen next.

“Why didn’t you tell me immediately? I can’t believe we’re gonna have a little girl or a boy-”

This is the hard part.

You slowly and deliberately raise three fingers and he freezes. A second then two passes, and you blink and then he blinks and the two of you watch each other in silence.

He mirrors the action, raising three fingers to meet yours.

“Do you mean… three…”

“Yes.”

The blood seems to drain out of his face.

“Oh. I need to sit down.”

He means it. As he settles back down into his seat, he genuinely looks dizzy and you make some sort of distressed sound between laughing and crying while he’s rubbing his temples, trying to make sense of the loop you’ve thrown him for.

“So… we’re having triplets.”

He looks up from the fixed point he was staring at on the table then at you, and you nod slowly. The both of you take a good look at each other again, and you sigh.

“I know this is so much all at once,” you start, “I’m sorry I-”

“Why are you apologizing for getting pregnant?” he interrupts with a chuckle. You give him a surprised look, then consider it. It’s true. Why are you apologizing for pregnancy?

He reaches over to grab your hand and squeezes it.

“We’ll be fine,” he says, pulling you towards him. You move over to him and he makes space for you to sit in his lap. Your head rests against his chest, and his heart, despite all the news you’ve just dumped on to him, now beats steadily despite yours that races.

Izuku thinks again, pulling your hand to his lips and kisses it softly. You can see the gears turn as you watch his profile, planning, strategizing. In this moment, you realized you were being silly. 

“We’ll be fine,” he repeats. “We can handle anything.”

He turns to you, green eyes twinkling. “Right?”

You smile, genuinely, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

“Right.”

Bonus:

“You would fucking have triplets after I have my second, wouldn’t you, asshole?!”

“Kacchan, this has nothing to do with you!”

“Like hell it doesn’t! How dare you compete with me?”

You and Bakugou’s wife give each other a look and both sip your tea in unison, in amusement.

[thesummerestsolstice]

Part four of my series on Rivendell's guards! Wherein I finally talk about why Hrivossa and Celecoll keep getting into arguments. You might want to read parts 1, 2, and 3 first for context.

So we pick up after the siege of Rivendell is broken by Gil-Galad's forces

Among those forces is Hrivossa and her Feanorian faction, who weren't in Eregion when it fell (they were supposed to go as reinforcements later, but never had a chance)

So Hrivossa is very relieved that her lord is alive, obviously, and fully approves of Elrond creating his own little haven in the valley

Anyway then she meets Celecoll

Let me be clear; it is absolute loathing from first sight for those two

Hrivossa is decked out in Feanorian stars, Celecoll is still wearing some old Iathrim armor, they know what they're dealing with, and they're not happy about it

They are both just sensitive enough not to start yelling obscenities at each other in the middle of Rivendell's main courtyard

Especially when Hrivossa finds out that Celecoll has been an impromptu guard for Elrond during the siege (and Celecoll finds out that Hrivossa is normally Elrond's guard)

As far as Hrivossa is concerned, Celecoll is a coward who hid behind the girdle and shamefully ran away when her kingdom needed her most, all while keeping the Silmarils from their rightful owners, and who has no business around Elrond, a good Feanorian lord

As far as Celecoll is concerned, Hrivossa is a remorseless murder who's probably still extremely dangerous, and definitely crass and improper, and who also maybe kept Elrond prisoner(?) and who has no business around Elrond, a good Sindar lord

(Sidenote: a lot of people had issues with Elrond's former jailers basically becoming the basis for his house as a lord but that's another post topic)

I want to be clear both of these people almost immediately made peace with the actual orcs they were now living with and they still hated each other

After a few loud arguments (because a few cups of elvish wine can easily overcome both their abilities to not start yelling at each other) Elrond decides he's had enough and separates them

Alternating schedules where they don't have to see each other, and now they live at opposite ends of the growing city

Problem solved, right?

Wrong!

Celecoll moves next to Hrivossa and they start fighting again

I feel like I should note that half the time they aren't even arguing in the same language

Subjects for discussion include: whether or not Thingol was bad, who the Silmarils rightfully belonged to, and most importantly, who gets to guard Elrond

Can you become a toxic divorced couple without ever being romantically involved? Local elves sure are trying

This cycle repeats several more times before Elrond decides that they clearly, like, need the enrichment from arguing or something

He gets their rooms soundproofed so that their fights don't wake anyone else up and just kind of lets it happen

For some ungodly reason yelling at each other a few times a month actually seems to help both of them be more calm and relaxed the rest of the time

Some things are unknowable, even to the wisest minds, and the reason why they're like this is one of them

[airas-story]

Addiction

“I love you.”

Stephen glanced up at his boyfriend, immediately suspicious. “What did you do?”

Tony placed a hand to his heart in a gesture clearly calculated to express innocence. “Absolutely nothing.”

Stephen didn’t believe it for a second, the gesture was far too calculated, for one. For the other, while Stephen knew without a doubt that Tony loved him, he didn’t tend toward vocal expressions, preferring the method of ‘show, don’t tell’ that occasionally resulted in ostentatious displays that Stephen found reluctantly endearing. “Then why do I not believe you?”

“You don’t believe I love you?” Tony asked, sounding genuinely offended.

Stephen waved his hand in dismissal. “Oh, I know you love me. What I don’t believe is that you didn’t do anything.” There was a flicker in Tony’s eyes that only served to reinforce Stephen’s belief that Tony had done something he wasn’t supposed to do.

“Your lack of faith is hurtful,” Tony said, miming a dagger to the heart. “It’s like you don’t love me.”

Stephen raised an eyebrow. “I love you. I just also happen to know you.”

A smile tugged at Tony’s lips, and Stephen knew that it was something Tony was never going to get tired of: the fact that Stephen knew him and loved him anyways. 

At least that was how Tony saw it, even if Stephen thought it was more astounding that anyone could know Tony and not love him.

“So,” Stephen continued, not letting himself get distracted. “What did you do?”

Tony sighed, the sort of sigh that meant he was giving in to the inevitable. “Nothing bad.”

Stephen examined him for a moment before deciding that it was probably true, at least from Tony’s point of view. Sometimes they had differing ideas of what constituted as ‘bad’.

“Expound, please. I think I’m perhaps a slightly better judge of whether something is ‘bad’ or not.”

Tony gave a sort of half-hearted shrug. “I, uh, may have gotten your cloak addicted to laundry detergent?”

Stephen blinked. “What?”

“I may have gotten your cloak addicted to laundry detergent,” Tony repeated, as though the words were going to suddenly make sense just because Tony had said them again.

They didn’t.

“How did you get the cloak addicted to laundry detergent?” Stephen asked. “They’re self-cleansing. It’s part of the enchantments woven into their being.” He glanced at where the cloak was suddenly busy ‘perusing’ the shelves of the library, playing innocent.

Stephen had a bad feeling about this.

“It’s not my fault,” Tony defended, despite the fact that he still hadn’t explained just how he’d managed it. “The cloak was getting jealous! I was just trying to make things fair!”

“Jealous?”

Tony nodded. “The cloak saw me oiling DUM-E and U and wanted their own ‘bonding’ time.” Tony made a face. “Okay, so the cloak probably doesn’t actually care about bonding with me, but they are an attention hog, and they’re willing to pretend they want to bond with me if it means I’ll pay them attention.”

The cloak fluffed up a little in offense.

It was true, though. The cloak loved when they were the center of attention.

Stephen thought it probably was very telling that the cloak had chosen to bond with him. He was well aware of what people thought of Stephen’s own attention-seeking tendencies.

“And that ended with laundry detergent addiction how?” He narrowed his eyes at the cloak who, now that they were being judged, had decided that the books looked interesting again.

Stephen turned back to Tony.

“Well, we tried a few things. Then I found an expensive hand-wash detergent.”

Stephen just stared at him. From the corner of his eye he saw the cloak wiggle in delight.

Tony shrugged.

Stephen decided that it didn’t matter if the cloak was his, Tony was the one who was going to have to deal with this. Stephen wasn’t paid enough to. “You know what. You got them addicted, you have to deal with their cravings.”

Tony made a face. “Fine. But I’m restating it for the record, this really isn’t my fault. And anything that happens here on out is happening with your knowledge and permission. Isn’t that right, cloak?”

The cloak flew over so that they were between Tony and Stephen and nodded vigorously.

For a moment, Stephen doubted his choice to make this Tony’s problem. Then he considered having to deal with it on his own and decided that tomorrow���s problems were just that: tomorrow’s problems.

“Only you,” Stephen said. His tone came out more fondly amused than exasperated, which was only going to serve to encourage Tony in the long run. “Only you would get an ancient relic addicted to laundry detergent.”

[foxgirlmusk]

Hello maam! soooo ive got kind of a weird logistical question which i hope isnt too personal! so i sent my girlfriend a screenshot of your post about your piss conditioning? and she was. Very Enthusiastic about trying to replicate it! I was curious myself so thought i might come straight to the source! she is specifically fond of the potential of having an accident! iwas wondering how you and your partner(s) specifically go about the conditioning process? do you use clickers at all or is it just social conditioning? Have you had good results? i hope thats not too much! anyways any and all info would be greatly appreciated!! thank you so much :) sincerely - butch piss extraordinaire

Im happy to answer anything so lets do this!

So to start with I am already predisposed towards bathroom issues due to having ADHD (putting off pee breaks until the last minute) and taking Spironolactone (a diuretic) as a hormone blocker so the conditioning is already building off of a solid base of being desperate to pee a lot of the time.

I have to ask permission every time I use the bathroom with the only exception being if I'm at work or alone for extended periods (which doesn't happen often) but my partner can change that at any time.

My partner started with giving permission almost immediately when I ask, slowly training me to pee almost immediately after getting permission, after doing that for a while he started pausing before giving permission or pretending not to hear or teasing me about needing to go so much which already makes it so hard to hold it in before he allows me to go.

Ive already had a few accidents like this but now he's started outright saying no, last night in fact before I started making dinner I was refused and had to start cooking whilst bursting to go and I almost peed myself right there in the kitchen.

The next part I believe would be to get me to pee on command, he already started on this at one point by making me sit on the toilet and hold it until he rubs behind my ear and telling me to pee each time I went and without much reinforcement at all if I need to pee and he rubs my ear I will get incredibly close to having an accident, with more reinforcement this would definitely turn into peeing on command.

I think the key part of turning it into an accident is making the arousal at being made to pee on command enough to push past the trained reflex to hold it in, most of my accidents have been due to my arousal at the situation I've been conditioned to be in.

I think a clicker would be useful to use for reinforcing the peeing with permission stage but I wouldn't want it to be the command, I feel the physical touch works best (for me at least) as being touched in a specific way can elicit a stronger repeatable response than a sound that you can likely hear by accident.

I hope this helps! I'm interested to hear how it goes for you so please let me know if you manage to make her your Perfect PeePee Princess 👸💦

[ellaenchanting]

Prompt: Accidentally Successful Self-Hypnosis

The guy with the beard raised his hand. "So, what does pacing and leading look like?"

"Good question," she responded. She looked around the room for inspiration.

She found it when the ceiling light caught her attention.

She began: "So, for example, I'm looking at the light on the ceiling, and I'm noticing it's bright, so that's probably going to make my eyes automatically blink from the light, right?"

"Yeah.." he said, agreeing.

"So, as I blink, I'm going to tell myself that is happening because my eyes are getting tired. There's a bit of strain to looking up like this, too, so I can state and reinforce those feelings of strain as well." She stared up, tuning into her own responses to better demonstrate the technique. "Mmm...you probably notice now that my eyes are blinking more now, " she reported.

"Ok," he said.

"I'm not doing that consciously," she continued, focusing on the explanation, "I'm just responding. And now I can start to tell myself that my eyelids are getting really relaxed. Heavy. Tired."

She blinked more.

She observed it out loud to the class. "And I can tell that I'm blinking more and more, slower and slower. So that means my eyelids are getting heavier and heavier. It's a nice little loop-more blinking means heavier and heavier means more blinking..."

She vaguely noticed her words was slowing down. She decided to go with the feeling.

"Uhm?..." from somewhere in the room

"And from there, it's easy to transfer that relaxation of my eyes to a relaxation in my body. Mmmm," she sighed as she felt her muscles respond, going loose and limp. She hadn't realized how tense she was. The anxiety of the presentation, the stress of the convention- everything started to slowly fade away. It felt amazing.

"Ella?" her co-presenter gently asked.

"Oh,that feels good." she reported. "And I can focus in on those good feelings since my eyes just closed- oh nice- and that can mean a wave of comfort goes down my body and gosh I haven't felt this way for a while.."

"Hey, Ella?" the voice repeated, seemingly from far away.

Unimportant. She just ignored it. Her voice continued slowly.

"And then I can REALLY let go, letting my words flow as my thoughts go quiet as my mind relaxes more and more and more..."

She felt a familiar, welcoming void in the middle of her thoughts. Gently, she let herself fall into it.

"And eventually there's just...silence."

A quick tap on her shoulder, trying to get her attention. Some words about needing to finish the class.

Annoying.

She ignored them all. She was feeling too good to divide her attention.

She heard a sigh.

Some quick instructions from the voice she trusted, telling her that if she insisted, they would handle the class for a bit. This time.

Gentle hands guided and assisted her to sit down in a nearby chair. Rest, the voice said.

She floated there, drifting and dreaming for the rest of class.

It was ok.

She already knew all of the material anyway.

Thanks @hypno-potion for the prompt!

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

Once Upon a Time on the Razor Crest

Summary: Din let's out a little more than he should

A/N: Hello lovelies,

Well hello gorgeous people, I'm posting this earlier than usual because I'm going to get my hair did and then I'm busy. Last day of vacation before I go back to work on Monday. Unfortunately, I didn't get as far with my writing as I wanted to during my vacation. Mainly because I was enjoying reading, sleeping and chilling way too much. But it's all good, because things are brewing in this head of mine.

Hope everyone has an amazing first 2024 weekend.

Love oo

Due to the past history of the OC there will be discussions alluding to past domestic abuse, please note that as it could be a trigger for some.

Warnings: tension, accusation of using someone, dealing with anxiety, misdirected anger, I think that's about it, if I miss any warnings please let me know.

AO3 Link |   Words: 1,094 |   Previous -> Next

Main Master List   |  Once Upon a Time on the Razor Crest

THE CRESTWORLD

CHAPTER TWO

My eyes glanced over Din one more time before I turned back to focus on Gorgu. 

Truthfully, I’d been surprised when he agreed to leave Grogu and I here, especially since it hadn’t even been a month since I joined them. 

However, he reminded me that a neighbour, a good one, was the difference between life and death out here in God’s country. It was a phrasing Din made sure to repeat at least twice a day since I joined him on the ranch, to help me realize and understand why having neighbours you could count on made all the difference. Seeing him willing to take off and help his neighbour simply reinforced his strong sentiment.

Kuiil no doubt appreciated the help from Din, especially when he almost lost his livelihood, because his flock of sheep took off, it was something that could’ve been detrimental to him.

I understood why he had to leave, but seeing as I was still new in taking care of his own livestock, granted it was only two horses, a nerf and nunas, it was still nerve wracking to be responsible to look after them. Din was gracious enough to write out detailed instructions on what needed to be done during the time he was away, which eased my anxiety somewhat, and really he wasn’t in the mood to have a tete-a-tete when he gave me the instructions, he was too annoyed and upset to discuss if he should or shouldn’t leave.

There was not much to discuss anyways when he still had that same attitude, I ignored his comment about Grogu’s lunch and paid attention to the adorable child eating his pancakes. 

“That’s no fun, right Grogu? Having the same lunch twice in a row?”

“Yup, Annie”

He wasn’t exactly comfortable around me, despite the amount of time we had spent together, but he was slowly opening up. He stopped hiding behind his father whenever he saw me, which was a huge step forward. He even liked it when I sat beside him during meal times. However, during the two days Din was away, I did notice he started to answer my questions more, which I believe was slowly helping us to grow more comfortable around each other.

“Okay, how about …” I looked in the fridge quickly, “how about a grilled cheese with veggies and fruits for tomorrow? Sounds good?” I asked as I took a seat beside him, eating my breakfast, as well.

He simply nodded as he ate his pancake, humming contentedly as we both danced while we ate, it wasn’t the best etiquette to have at the kitchen table, but if it allowed him to open up more to me and feel more comfortable, I was willing to do the little things I could.  

“You don’t have to do that.” 

Din’s miserable voice washed over them, as his eyes glanced from Grogu to Ann overtop his mug. He didn’t know why but something about her was starting to irritate him, or maybe it was just the exhaustion he felt from helping Kuiil round up his wayward sheep that was making her more irritable than usual. Either way, he wasn’t in the mood for her happy persona or the fact she somehow grew closer to Grogu while he was away.

“Do what?” 

I asked as I finished my tea and breakfast. I grabbed the empty plates and took them to the sink. He still hadn’t answered my question, as I packed up Grogu’s lunch that I made the previous night. I double checked Grogu’s backpack as I put his lunch bag inside, making sure he had everything ready for class, “Grogu, where’s your homework?”

“Grogu, get your homework” Din stated as he motioned with his head for his son to leave. His annoyance was at an all time high and he wasn’t able to hold back any longer. 

“Patu?” Grogu tilted his head as he shrunk back a little into himself. He knew his father could have a temper, though it was rarely seen, but somehow Grogu felt he may have done something wrong. 

Din noticed Grogu’s reaction, he leaned over and ruffled Grogu’s hair, and cupped his son’s cheek reaffirming that he was fine. He gave him a subtle smile, “It’s alright buddy, just get your stuff.” 

He watched as Grogu nodded and headed off, leaving him and Ann alone in the kitchen. There was something he needed to make very clear with her, and he didn’t want his son having to listen in to this particular conversation. As soon as Grogu was out of ear shot, he took the opportunity focusing his glare at Ann.

“Listen, I’m going to say this once and only once. I appreciate your help Ann. I’ll admit since you joined things have been going smoother, and I appreciate that you stepped up when I had to be away, but there’s something you need to keep in mind”

Silence filled the kitchen as I looked at him, there was something about the way he was keeping himself constrained that made me get my back up. I’m not sure what exactly triggered him or made him so irritable, but I felt as though I just walked through a minefield. Somehow, I was very close to setting him off, the wrong word or question and it seemed as if his self-control would evaporate. I took a deep breath and pushed away my nerves. Keeping my voice steady as I locked eyes with him.

“What’s that?”

“You’re. Not. His. Mother.” 

Din’s voice was laced with warning as his hand clenched around his fork, “You’re here to help, got that! So don’t use my son to try and get close to me. Understood!” 

As soon as those last words left his mouth, he saw how taken aback she was, and for a split second, he could have sworn there was a look of utter pain and disgust across her face.

My hands clenched around Grogu’s backpack, it took all of my strength, all of my patience, every last ounce within me, not to recoil or run away. For the first time since my ex, I actually wanted to yell at someone for saying something stupid and accusing me with an ulterior motive. In my head, I screamed, ‘WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!’ But at this point, it wouldn’t have helped either of us. I took a moment, closed my eyes, took a deep breath and counted to ten to steady my nerves and quell the beginnings of anger in my heart. 

AO3 Link |   Words: 1,094 |   Previous -> Next

Main Master List   |  Once Upon a Time on the Razor Crest

@littlemisspascal@sprout-fics@liadamerondjarin @badbatch-simp24 @spicymcnuggies @lady-ren @firstofficerwiggles @darkangel4121 @discofern @kavecika @monako-jinn-stories @ladykatakuri @avathebestx @theroguesully @furyhellfire66 @carodealmeida @ciramaris @twinkofthedink @dindjarin-mandalorian @tortor-mcgee @sarcasmismyonlydefense24 @chiyo13

[demigoddessqueens]

Yoo ur mysterious anon here <33

Dunno if u done this kinda of prompt but like may I request for a g/n reader and alucard angst ?? Like reader is bound to die in one way or another(let’s say from a prediction or some kind of magic poof poof ) and alucard tries to prevents it from happening ? But in the end it did happen n reader dies (let’s say by protecting a village or saving people #selfsacrifice) and our blonde man is sad cuz he wasn’t there to save them when reader needed them the most :( ANYWAYS YEHHH HaVe a lovely day 🫶

Ooohhhh angst! Hello darkness my old friend for this prompt!!

A/N - mentions of death, angsty Alucard

It was an inevitability. You had the same visions of your life slipping away, but you never knew how it was to be.

Living a life and making something of it was what you knew best, and it only became more treasured when you met him. If someone told you a Speaker, Hunter, village Herald and dhamphir were your allies you would have thought it a bad joke.

Yet here you were with them in staving off the last of the night creatures. When you weren’t fighting, it was a nice respite to just live with them. Being in the moment was a rarity to you, but the visions of what was to come didn’t cease.

Trevor. Sypha. Greta. And Alucard. Sweet Alucard. You repeated their names like they were your tether to this world. The dhamphir took a close liking to you, and he wanted to be near you. It felt like a gift that was going to be ripped from you, but you didn’t care.

You held onto him. Kissed him. Held his hand and talked sweetly to him. And he in return loved you as well, even when you revealed the depths of your secret.

It’s a vision, my love. It may not come now or for many days or years. But I will do everything in my power to prevent it.

As you laid out bleeding, still grateful that the new family you saved was spared from the attack, Alucard’s words still replayed in your mind. You winced in pain as the claw marks on your flesh burned. The rest came with reinforcements before you saw a flash of the blond hair.

A desperate broken chorus of “no’s” rang out as Alucard rushed to your side. You weakly brushed aside the tears he spilt.

“I can’t—I need you.” Alucard choked on his broken sobs, speaking through the lump in his throat.

“I lived my life—, Adrian. And….meeting you, made it all the worth—.”

He leaned down for a final kiss on your waning lips and on your forehead. You felt the last muster of strength slipping away

“Live well, my Alucard. I love you…I always will.”

Alucard felt you hand go limp in his as your bright eyes faded and shut for the last time. The dam broke and he fell into a deep despair, holding you close in his arms.

[mypimpademia]

So I'm new here on Tumblr so I'm not sure how it works (I'm used to Wattpad lol), but, if you feel like it, you could make a headcanon with mha guys and a female reader, where Bakugou, Todoroki, Deku and Kirishima help y / n after a coma (if you know, after a coma, you find yourself in a vegetative state and a long physical and mental therapy is required)

I repeat, only if you want, I don't want to force you (my scenarios are quite strange and sad I know)

Anyway, waiting for your reply, love you so much <333

— Recovery

Bakugo x gn!fem!reader, Todoroki x gn!fem!reader, Midoriya x gn!fem!reader, Kirishima x gn!fem!reader

TW: Some Swearing (mostly on bakugos)

Note: I love you too!💖 enjoy boo <333 I'm not an expert on comas or anything like that so a lot of this is probably wrong

— BAKUGO.

⇶ He's the first person to show up when you finally wake up

⇶ And the expression he makes, it's almost like he can't believe what he's seeing

⇶ Because he can't.

⇶ Drops to his knees by your bedside and holds your hand, crying his eyes out while telling you how glad he is that you're awake between hiccups

⇶ Throughout your recovery, he's always there to help and gives you aggressive but genuine encouragement

"C'mon, eat your damn food. I know you're still getting used to it, but you're not gonna get better by not eating. So fucking eat, shit head!"

⇶ Very aggressive, but you know he means well

⇶ Always give you kisses and tells you 'nice job' as positive reinforcement, even it was as simple as feeding yourself

⇶ Katsuki always acts like it's a hassle, but he does literally everything you need

⇶ You want him to help you with trying to walk again? He's there

⇶ You said the pillow supporting your back feels out of place? He'll fix it right now

⇶ Unless you want a new one, he can get that done too

⇶ Katsuki is there every step of the way, and though others come by to visit you every now and then, he comes to see you as much as possible

⇶ Though he comes off as aggressive and rough around the edges, out of everyone, he cares the most

"You're doing fuckin' awesome baby, I'm so proud of you. I love you so much."

— TODOROKI.

⇶ Shoto is just walking into the room whenever you're waking up

⇶ He watches from the doorway, frozen, as you stir in your hospital bed

⇶ When you open up your eyes and look at him, his eyes are wide and overflowing with tears of joy

⇶ He quietly told you he'd be right back between stutters and ran to go get the nurse

⇶ Shoto was used to hospitals by now, considering the situation with his mom

⇶ He's seen it all, so he's got a good idea on how physical therapy works

⇶ He normally visits you on the same days he goes to see his mom

⇶ Whenever he comes, he always sneaks in some small amount of food or candy for you

⇶ Shoto's encouragement is always small

⇶ Usually in the form if small smiles, pecks on the forehead or cheek, or a gentle hand on your head

⇶ And when they're verbal they're short, quiet, and sweet

"You're doing incredible, love. I'm so proud of all the progress you've made."

⇶ Shoto helps you as much as possible

⇶ He comes to your physical therapy as moral support, and let's you talk to him about your mental therapy too (if you want)

⇶ Just makes a good partner to spend time with while healing

⇶ He'll talk to you, help you walk outside a bit, and asks your nurses what more he can do for you

⇶ Attentive to your needs. Ask, and you shall receive

⇶ You want him to sneak you in a specific food? He's got it stuffed in his school bag.

⇶ You want a new blanket? He'll ask you for a specific one.

⇶ Shoto is as supportive as can be, his presence was calming and he knew what he was doing

⇶ He was ready to help you in any way he could, just say the word

"Oh, I got you that blanket you were talking about last time. I'm really proud of how far you've come, love, and I wanted to get you something to show that."

— MIDORIYA.

⇶ Honestly, Izuku hadn't even seen you wake up before he went and got the nurses

⇶ Everytime you made even the slightest movement, or breathed differently when he came to visit, he'd immediately run crying to a nurse telling them you're waking up

⇶ He did it so often that all the nurses and doctors just rolled their eyes when he came to them, but they had to go check anyways because of protocol

⇶ Except this time, he was right

⇶ And by the time he got back to the room with the nurse you were already looking around a bit and the first thing you truly caught sight of was Izuku crying his eyes out

⇶ He was so worried, and until you're fully recovered and discharged from the hospital he probably won't stop worrying for even a second

⇶ Always asking you questions, wondering if you're comfortable or need anything

"Your blankets are comfortable, right? You aren’t cold? Do you need another–"

"Izuku." You cut him off.

He turned his head, silently questioning you.

"I already have three blankets."

⇶ Now, Izuku himself has actually had a bit of physical therapy

⇶ It was just for his arms, after damaging them so badly and so many times in a row, they made him do a little physical therapy for good measure

⇶ He wouldn't know how to help you a whole lot in your case, but he could help with the basics and then some if he has instructions from the nurses

⇶ Always gives you words of encouragement, no matter if you had a good or bad day, he tells you that you did good and gives you kisses

⇶ Izuku is probably the most attentive person you could ask for

⇶ Gets you food, blankets, helps you with extra physical therapy, talks to you about what ever

⇶ He usually catches you up on what's been happening at school, and always goes on about something cool that one of the pros did

⇶ Izuku is always ready to help someone out, and that especially goes for you. Just say the word and he'll do it no questions asked

— KIRISHIMA.

⇶ This sweet thing is dead asleep at your bed side when you wake up

⇶ Whenever he came to visit you before you woke up, he'd kind of just chill there, silently hoping you'll magically wake up

⇶ Would end up doing some homework, studying, or taking a nap

⇶ And sometimes, he'd even pull out a book he'd been reading and read to you, even if you weren't aware

⇶ You sit in your hospital bed, trying to recollect yourself as Eijiro was still in a chair beside your bed, head in the palm of his hand while a book rested on his lap

⇶ About 5 minutes passed before he began to stir awake himself

⇶ He was groggy for a few seconds, wiping drool off his face and rubbing his eyes

⇶ And when he finally collected himself, he took a glance at you only to find you staring back at him

⇶ His mouth gaped and his eyes nearly popped out of his skull before he took another few blinks to make sure he wasn't dreaming

⇶ Eijiro soon found himself crying into your lap and grasping both of your hands between his rough palms, telling you how happy he is that you're awake and how he was so worried

"Oh my god, Y/n!" Eijiro sobbed. "I- I can't believe it, you're really awake. I was so worried for so long, I was starting to think you'd n– never wake up." He gasped.

"I'm so happy you're here."

⇶ You simply smiled down at him, tearing up, not yet having the energy to speak, but he knew you were just as happy to be back

⇶ Eventually, he did realize that he should probably go and alert a nurse that you're awake

⇶ Once your physical and mental therapy started a few days later, Eijiro didn't stop coming to visit

⇶ Always comes in with a sharp toothed grin, kissing your cheek before sitting down and talking to you

⇶ He talks to you about what's been happening at school, asks how therapy has been going, and even now he reads to you every so often

⇶ And some days, you nap together

⇶ Sometimes he brings you food, usually little treats and candies that he knew you liked

⇶ He'll bring in a 4 pack of cupcakes for the two of you whenever you reach a therapy milestone

⇶ And of course, Eijiro has to pair it with a speech about how proud he is of you, and how much he loves you, and how he's so happy you're up and feeling better

"... And I just want you to know, that I'm so proud of you. And that I'm so so so happy that you're here right now, and that I love you more than words can explain."

⇶ He definitely cries everytime, but it's okay because expressing your feelings is manly

⇶ Overall, Eijiro is the best person to have by your side at anytime

⇶ To laugh, cry, imagine things together, or even take a nap with, he's there every step of the way, and honestly keeps you going

—

Taglist; @silkylious @blackweebtrash @love-hashira-raine @denkisdashi @bigheartlittlelies @haksluvr @luvirenee

[scary-grace]

Love Like Ghosts (Chapter 13) - a Shigaraki x f!Reader fic

You knew the empty house in a quiet neighborhood was too good to be true, but you were so desperate to get out of your tiny apartment that you didn't care, and now you find yourself sharing space with something inhuman and immensely powerful. As you struggle to coexist with a ghost whose intentions you're unsure of, you find yourself drawn unwillingly into the upside world of spirits and conjurers, and becoming part of a neighborhood whose existence depends on your house staying exactly as it is, forever. But ghosts can change, just like people can. And as your feelings and your ghost's become more complex and intertwined, everything else begins to crumble. (cross-posted to Ao3)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15

Chapter 13

There’s something wrong with your house, but you knew that when you bought it, and you’ve never felt the oppressiveness and terror that everyone else seems to experience when they come near it. Not until the first streetlight goes out at the top of the street, a split second too late to conceal the shadow that slinks past beneath it.

“Shit,” Spinner hisses over the comms network. Atsuhiro stole the pieces of it, enough for every adult human in the neighborhood, on the search team’s way back. “What was that?”

“Get back from the window,” Magne hisses. They’re inside their house. All according to plan. “Stay down. This isn’t about us.”

“It’s about all of us,” Shinsou argues. He’s got a headset. Hizashi lost headset privileges on the grounds that he’s a ghost, and he’s in the house anyway. “If we just – there’s another one!”

Another streetlight goes out, on the other side of the street, just a second too slow behind the shadow that passes under it. You get a look at the shadow’s face, or where it’s face should be, before the darkness cloaks it. “That’s not Garaki.”

“No,” Aizawa agrees. “He brought reinforcements.”

“What are those things?” Jin’s mother asks, just as the light in front of Atsuhiro’s house goes out. “Tomura, do you know?”

Tomura doesn’t have a headset. Tomura’s dematerialized, and keeping his head down as part of the strategy. But your house has two former ghosts in it, and since Hizashi’s getting the most malevolent silent treatment ever, Eri speaks up, and Aizawa repeats what she whispers in his ear. “They’re like Shirakumo. But they like it.”

Keigo’s voice crackles over the headsets. “What does that mean?”

“The ghosts signed up for it.” Tomura’s voice is barely a whisper in your ear. “They let a conjurer make them his puppets. They’re too weak to do what they want otherwise.”

You convey Tomura’s message to the others, then ask a question of your own. “What do they want?”

“Guys, there’s another one. We’re up to six.” Spinner says what you’re thinking a moment later. “That’s one for every house in the neighborhood.”

Mr. Yagi was right – if one former ghost in the neighborhood is discovered, you’re all compromised, and you’re all fucked. A moment later, a voice rings out down the street. It’s not a voice you recognize. “Hizashi,” it calls out, and Hizashi freezes in place. “Touya. I know you’re here. Come out, and we can avoid any – unpleasantness.”

Everyone in your house glares at Hizashi, ordering him to keep quiet, but Keigo doesn’t have anywhere near that kind of backup. “My name’s not fucking Touya,” Dabi says. “Get out of my neighborhood.”

Hizashi opens his mouth to chime in and Aizawa slaps his hand down over it. “Suit yourself,” Garaki says. “Nomu –”

There’s a sudden crash, and you hear Jin’s mom scream into the headset – the thing in front of her house just took down her fence. But it’s only a warning shot. A second later there’s another, louder crash. “They’re going after your house, Aizawa,” Atsuhiro reports. “When they find out you aren’t there –”

They’ll come here, to your house and Keigo’s. “It’s time,” Aizawa says. “Nemuri, go.”

You’ve never see an unbound ghost flex its powers in public before, and now you know why – powered up with dozens of plants’ worth of life-force, Nemuri is blindingly fast. She knocks the ghost-thing away from Aizawa’s house so hard that it dents one of the doused streetlights, then bolts towards Garaki. Garaki’s ready for her. You don’t know how you know that, but he must be, or he wouldn’t be standing still.

“Wait for it,” Hizashi hisses. “Tomura, now.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Tomura snaps, and his influence crashes back down over the neighborhood with the force of a breaking tsunami.

Garaki staggers, gasping for air, but the effect on the monsters he brought with him is even stronger. The one attacking Jin and Himiko’s house stops immediately and lunges at the one Nemuri just knocked away from Aizawa’s front steps. You hear a harsh, heavy whoosh, followed by a shriek like metal on metal. A rush of wind blasts up the street, visible even in the dark, and you can see something flickering within it, fighting to get back where it came from. “That’s essence,” Hizashi mumbles. “Nice work.”

Tomura doesn’t answer. If you had to guess, you’d say he’s focused on keeping the pressure on the street. The two monsters are tearing each other to shreds, which means that Nemuri’s less outnumbered than she was before, and you’re pretty sure that the monsters parked in front of your house and Keigo’s are there to keep you from leaving. That still leaves two loose monsters, though. Both of them turn and run towards whatever’s happening between Garaki and Nemuri. You can barely see it. There’s no light on the street, anywhere, but there’s one place where the darkness is completely opaque. You don’t know what’s happening in there. You don’t think you want to.

The first sign that something’s going wrong is the cold that begins to spread, worse than anything Tomura’s ever generated, radiating out from the opaque patch of darkness and creeping steadily up the street. Your house and Keigo’s are farthest from the trouble, but ice begins to spiral over your windows, and when Spinner speaks up over the comms, his teeth are chattering. “What’s happening? Magne won’t say –”

You’re pretty sure Magne can’t say. Jin breaks into the comms, reporting that Himiko’s down for the count, and in your own house, Aizawa’s trying with increasing desperation to rouse Eri. Hizashi’s on his feet, still. He speaks through gritted teeth. “Nem’s in trouble,” he says. “I’m going out there.”

“Dad, no!” Shinsou grabs for him, but Hizashi moves fast. “Dad –”

Aizawa’s too focused on Eri to notice before it’s too late. He reaches out futilely to Hizashi. “Zashi, don’t –”

Your front door slams shut behind him. “You’re in the way,” Hizashi says to the thing in front of your house. “Move.”

“Idiot,” Tomura snarls, from everywhere and nowhere. A moment later, Hizashi seizes the monster and drags it into your yard.

Having passed the responsibility for the situation over to Tomura, Hizashi bolts into the street, and Tomura materializes in the front yard just as the monster starts to pick itself up off the ground. Tomura knocks it down again, then straddles it, pinning it in place. “What are you?” he demands. The creature snarls. “You can still feel pain. I’ll hurt you. What are you?”

The monster snarls again. You don’t see what Tomura does, but you hear it let out an agonized howl in response. “Nomu. We are – Nomu.”

It tries to fight free of Tomura’s grip. Tomura slams it against the ground. He looks tiny compared to the monster – the Nomu? – but it’s clear that he’s got the upper hand. “Tell me. How many does he have?” You still can’t see what Tomura’s doing to the Nomu, but it lets out an earsplitting screech. “Now!”

Whatever answer the Nomu gives, it’s not what Tomura wants to hear. He blasts the Nomu apart, then dematerializes, reappearing again inside the house. He’s barley breathing hard. “He’s got too many ghosts. They can’t win.”

“Then do something,” Shinsou demands of Tomura. “My dad –”

Tomura can’t do anything more than he’s already doing, and Shinsou knows it. You hear footsteps behind you and turn to find Aizawa heading for the door. You couldn’t stop Hizashi, but you can sure as hell stop him. You block his way. “Where are you going?”

“This is a fight between ghosts. I’ll be beneath their notice.” Aizawa puts his hand on your shoulder and shifts you firmly aside. “If they lose, we all do.”

He’s out the door before you can stop him, and across the street, you see Keigo sneaking out as well. If you had to guess, you’d say Spinner and Jin are heading out, too. Now it’s only you, Shinsou, Eri, and Tomura inside your house, and you can feel Tomura seething, the air crackling with his power. He wants to fight. You can tell he does. You just don’t understand why. He doesn’t care about the neighborhood or the people in it. Is he really that bloodthirsty? Or maybe it’s not that he’s bloodthirsty. Maybe he just cares more about this, about everything, than you’ve let yourself realize.

“You idiot,” he snaps suddenly, and you and Shinsou both jump. “Stay inside!”

He’s not talking to you. You race to the front window just in time to see Dabi emerging from the house. He’s never looked more frightening than he does right now, half-embodied, half made up of the same darkness that’s now swallowed up half the neighborhood. He strolls up to the Nomu guarding Keigo’s house like he doesn’t have a care in the world. The Nomu doesn’t move. “Are they talking?” Shinsou asks. “What are they saying?”

Before Tomura has a chance to answer, Dabi speaks out loud, his voice bright and full of fury. “You really are stupid, conjurer. Of all the ghosts you could have brought to kill me, you picked my brother.”

You didn’t realize ghosts could have brothers. Then you remember what Keigo said about his old house having multiple ghosts in it. “Nice to see you, Natsu,” Dabi says to the Nomu. “Go get my human.”

The Nomu – Natsu – turns and dives into the darkness, followed by Dabi at a more leisurely pace. You think through the battlefield as it stands now. Garaki is down to two Nomus on his side, and Nemuri’s getting a helping hand from Hizashi, Spinner, Jin, Aizawa, Dabi, Natsu, and Keigo. The fight has to be in the neighborhood’s favor now, doesn’t it? Garaki’s outnumbered, and no matter how much ghostly power he has, he’s still human. He can be killed like any human. It’s going to be –

Eri lurches upright, her red eyes wide and terrified. “Papa!” she screams. “No –”

Everything outside the windows goes completely black. If you couldn’t see into it before, you definitely can’t see out of it now. But you can see what’s inside of it, at least until the frost starts to spiral across the glass – Garaki advancing down the street, flanked by two Nomus. Nemuri’s nowhere to be found. Spinner’s injured, somehow. Jin is dragging him backwards, away from the fight. Aizawa is carrying Hizashi, who’s fully unconscious. The only people in any shape to do anything are Keigo, Dabi, and the Nomu. The fight’s narrowed down to three on three – a conjurer and two monsters versus one monster, one scar wraith, and one human. Suddenly you understand why Eri’s in tears, why Tomura’s materialized next to you with that look on his face. So much for the fight being even. It’s not anywhere close to even. They’re going to lose.

Garaki clucks his tongue, shakes his head. “Touya, you disappoint me.”

“It’s too bad. I was just living for your approval.” Dabi pushes Keigo casually behind him. “I’d highly recommend pissing off. Stick around and I might get angry. You’re not going to like it when I’m angry.”

“In your position, I’d be angry, too,” Garaki responds. “You’ve been a scar wraith for four years. Don’t you want your powers back? Isn’t this mortal form exhausting to inhabit? Wouldn’t you rather be free?”

You thought Dabi was trying to stall. Now you’re not so sure. “You could do that?” Dabi asks.

“Of course! If you doubt my abilities, just look at my Nomus.” Garaki gestures proudly. He tortured six people to create them, and he’s proud of them. “There’s no reason why the same process can’t run in reverse. I would have offered it to Hizashi, too – but it appears he’s a lost cause.”

“What did he do to him?” Shinsou asks in a cracked whisper. “He’s not dead. He can’t be dead.”

“The conjurer went after Aizawa and he took the hit instead. He’s coming around.” Tomura’s hands are clenched into fists at his sides, so hard his knuckles are white. “Idiot. They’re all idiots!”

Garaki is still talking. “I expected much better of Hizashi, truthfully. He was so eager to enter this world and play his part, and he threw it all away for a human. But you’re wiser, Touya. Step aside and I’ll help you reverse your mistake.”

He wouldn’t. There’s no way Dabi wants to be a ghost again that badly, is there? There’s no way he’d sacrifice Keigo. Is there? Dabi glances away from Garaki, over at Natsu. “What do you think, little brother? Should I take him up on it?”

The Nomu doesn’t answer. In Aizawa’s arms, you think you see Hizashi stir. “Nah,” Dabi says finally. “You can go to hell. Natsu, now!”

The Nomu moves at terrifying speed. It seizes Keigo and hurls him through the air, over the fence and into your front yard. Tomura swears under his breath and you watch as Keigo’s fall slows slightly, enough that he’s got time to turn and land heavily on his feet. But he’s not the only one in flight. Hizashi’s struggled to his feet, and he and Nemuri launch Aizawa together. Their throw isn’t as good. Aizawa crashes through the fence and sprawls out flat in the yard. Jin drags Spinner through the hole and both of them collapse.

They need help. You grab your first aid kit out of the hall closet and try to open your front door, only to find that it’s sealed shut. It doesn’t move even when you yank on it with your full weight. You turn to glare at Tomura, who glares back with his arms crossed. “It’s not safe.”

“I won’t leave the yard,” you say. “That’s your territory, isn’t it? Are you telling me I’m not safe there?”

Tomura’s expression darkens even further, but before he can respond, an ice-cold hand settles on your shoulder. “I’ll go with her,” Shirakumo says in that odd doubled voice. You forgot he was here. He hasn’t moved off the couch all day. “I can help.”

You don’t know how much help Shirakumo will be – the hand on your shoulder is shaking badly – but the front door unseals itself, and you leave without a backward glance. Once you’re in the yard, though, you’re temporarily paralyzed. Aizawa’s not moving, but Spinner’s the most visibly injured, and Keigo’s awake but stunned, like his landing might have been harder than you thought. You’d rather help Spinner or Keigo, but Aizawa’s the only one who’s unresponsive. He helped you when you first found out about Tomura. He’s done nothing to you other than be abrupt bordering on rude, and he’s like that with everyone except his children. Are you really going to let him lie there just because you and his husband despise each other?

Shirakumo heads for Aizawa, making the decision for you, and you hurry towards Spinner instead. Spinner’s bleeding from two stab wounds, one in his left shoulder and one in his right thigh, just above his knee. There’s a lot of blood. You pry open the first aid kit for bandages and gauze and press Jin into service bandaging Spinner’s leg, working on his shoulder yourself and doing your level best to ignore whatever’s happening outside the fence. Spinner groans in pain. “I have to get back out there,” he says. “They can’t do this.”

“We have to!” Jin agrees, determined. Then his face falls. “We can’t help. That’s why they made us leave.”

“They’re outnumbered. Nemuri burned up too much power and the cold killed a lot of the plants before she could.” Keigo waits until you’re finished bandaging Spinner’s injuries, then helps you and Jin pick him up. “Me and Aizawa were useless out there. All we did was distract them.”

He means Dabi and Hizashi, but there’s something turning over in your head. You’re not sure what it is just yet. You see Shirakumo carrying Aizawa up to the porch out of the corner of your eye. Next to you, Jin is shaking Spinner’s non-stabbed shoulder, panicked. “What about Magne and Atsuhiro? Why aren’t they out there?”

“Not their fight. I stayed in – long as possible.” Spinner’s face is beaded with sweat. “So maybe she’d come out. But –”

You don’t think the other ghosts are cowards. You know they’re tough, you know they care. But neither of them are the ones the conjurer is after, and their humans might as well be an afterthought. You don’t blame either of them for staying out of a fight they can’t win. When it comes down to it, it’s not your fight, either.

It’s not your fight. It’s also not your neighborhood, according to Hizashi – but you’re done with Hizashi’s bullshit. You’ve got your bracelets on, which means you’ll be hard to spot, and none of the ghosts still fighting in the street care enough about you to distract them from the fight. You won’t distract the neighborhood ghosts. But you can damn well distract the Nomus. Or the conjurer.

You’re alone in the yard now, except for Shirakumo. Shirakumo looks like he’s got an idea, too, and all you can do is hope that the human half of him is enough to hide his intentions from Tomura. The two of you make eye contact. Shirakumo raises one hand from his side and shows you a broken fencepost. If you bend down slowly to grab one of your own, Tomura’s going to figure it out, and he’ll stop you. You have to move fast. You crouch, seize a fencepost, and lurch across the property line.

A howl rises up from the house behind you, enough to set your teeth on edge and make every hair on your arms stand on end. Tomura’s furious, but he’s going to be even madder if you get hurt because you were standing there, doing nothing, instead of doing what you came here to do. You glance to your left and realize that Shirakumo’s already run off to help Hizashi and Nemuri deal with one of the two remaining Nomus. That leaves you and your fencepost to join the remaining fight. You’re the only help Dabi and Natsu are going to get.

Your fencepost has a broken end, jagged and dangerous, but you’ve got no faith in your ability to stab someone with it. You’ll be better off using it as a club. The question is who to hit. You creep along the sidewalk towards where Dabi and Natsu are facing Garaki and the remaining Nomu. While the fight between Natsu and the last Nomu looks pretty even, it’s clear to you that Dabi’s losing his. Tomura said Garaki has too many ghosts. Dabi’s only one, and only half a ghost in the bargain. You have the thought that his human side is protecting him from being blasted apart, but it can’t last forever. You can see the ghostly sections of his body, rippling, bulging, as Garaki pours more and more energy into him. Neither of them are paying any attention to you.

Good. You work your way behind Garaki, take a firmer grip on the fencepost, and swing.

It’s not your best swing. Some part of you is still wrestling against the thought of bashing another human being over the head with a piece of wood, and it’s really dark. But even your not-the-best swing collides with the side of Garaki’s head, producing a dull thud. He lets out a grunt of pain and turns Dabi loose, wheeling around to face you.

You swing again, but it’s even harder to hit somebody when you’re looking them in the eye. Your blow strikes his arm, and he staggers but doesn’t fall. Garaki is bald, your height or maybe shorter. He has a mustache, and his green-tinted glasses are cracked and lopsided. Blood is tricking down the side of his head from your first swing. He steps forward. You step back.

“Not so brave now, are we?” Garaki laughs, but he’s grimacing. You swing at him again, but he dodges it. His hand closes on your shoulder. “Have some of this.”

You know what’s coming, courtesy of Hizashi’s lessons this afternoon, and unlike Tomura, Garaki’s got no plans to be gentle with you. You lock your jaw against the screams that are dying to get out and squeeze your eyes shut. You don’t want to see the world between. You need to see what’s in Garaki’s head. You need to know, so you can warn –

You can’t see. Maybe you can. You can’t understand it – a void full of open, howling mouths, pain worse than anything you’ve ever experienced, hatred stronger than you can even fathom. It’s nothing like what you saw in Tomura’s mind. It’s hell. You keep your jaw locked as long as possible, but eventually you can’t hold it in a second longer. You open your mouth and scream until your throat bleeds.

Or maybe you don’t. A hand closes around your wrist and jerks you away, out of Garaki’s grip. The hand is cold and warm at the same time. When you open your eyes, you find yourself looking up at Shirakumo.

He’s not the only one who’s here. Nemuri’s here, and Hizashi, Hizashi steps into the space where you were standing and promptly decks Garaki, hitting him about twice as hard as your strongest swing of the fencepost. “That’s for making my friends cry,” he hisses, and hits Garaki again. “Hit it, Toasty!”

Every plant on the far side of the street bursts into flames at once, and Dabi plants both hands on Garaki’s back and shoves him hard. With the rest of the plants’ life-force on board, Dabi’s charged up with enough power to send Garaki flying, and there’s only one possible place he could be headed. You turn slowly, your entire body numb and frozen, just in time to see Garaki land in a heap in the middle of your front yard. Tomura’s on him a split second later.

You think it’ll be over quickly. If Tomura is as powerful as everyone says he is, it should be. But you think of how many ghosts you saw in Garaki’s head, of the fact that Tomura’s never faced a conjurer before, and fear like you’ve never felt in your entire life surges through you. You can’t help him. All you can do is watch.

The sphere of darkness Garaki summoned before starts to descend, only for Tomura to blast it apart seconds later. Garaki reaches out for Tomura’s shoulder, but Tomura dematerializes just enough that Garaki’s hand sinks straight through him. He raises one hand, reaching for Garaki, and Garaki’s hand rises to block him. There’s a clear six inches of space between their palms, but it’s clear that they’re both pushing as hard as they can.

Cold wind whips out from the space where the two of them stand, rattling your windows loudly enough that you can hear it from the street. Your teeth are chattering almost as loudly. Garaki’s face shows intense concentration, and so does Tomura’s. His free hand is scratching frantically at his neck, and he’s bitten into his lip so hard it’s bleeding. There’s a sudden lurch, and Tomura takes a step back. Then another step back. “Fuck,” Dabi mumbles, then calls out: “Hey, asshole! Get your shit together!”

Tomura plants his feet, stopping Garaki’s advance, but you’re not stupid enough to think he’s got the upper hand. In fact, he’s got the opposite. His right hand, the one pressing back against Garaki’s, is beginning to bend backwards, past the point where a living hand would break, where living fingers would snap like twigs. His physical form, still mostly embodied, is beginning to bulge and waver, just like Dabi’s did. If Garaki’s able to do this, his power level and Tomura’s must be nearly equal. Aizawa’s words flash through your head again: Conjurers are human. Humans don’t want to die.

You want to call out to Tomura, beg him to fight harder, but your teeth are chattering too hard to speak. Someone else does it for you. Hizashi grabs your arm, pulls you away from Shirakumo, and drags you towards the fence. “Hey, guess what?” he shouts at Tomura, his voice loud enough to be heard above the wind. “I lied about what ghostly power does to humans. It does hurt them. It hurts them a lot.”

Tomura’s eyes dart sideways towards you. Then he turns his head to stare, and takes another step back, giving up ground to Garaki. “Yeah, you heard me,” Hizashi continues, even though he’s breaking Tomura’s concentration. “You hurt your human, and she let you do it. But guess what? The guy who’s beating you hurt her a whole lot worse.”

Tomura snarls. “Oh, you want to kill me over that? I’ll believe that when I see it,” Hizashi spits, and suddenly you understand what he’s trying to do. “How are you supposed to kill me when you can’t even kill him?”

Tomura looks away from Hizashi, away from you. Back to Garaki, who was just starting to look confident. “You won’t win. I have the power of a thousand ghosts behind me! There’s nothing you can do that will – what are you doing? Don’t –”

Tomura’s free hand materializes and clamps down over Garaki’s face. The hand pushing  back against Garaki’s breaks through the space between them and seizes it in a crushing grip. Garaki howls, but not so loudly that you can’t hear Tomura’s voice. “A thousand ghosts?” he says, gleeful and savage. “There’s one less now.”

The wind roars up from behind you this time, still ice-cold, as Tomura draws his power inwards, forcing more and more of it into Garaki. He bends Garaki’s hand backwards until the conjurer’s wrist breaks, keeps pushing until his forearm snaps in two. “Where are your ghosts now?” he taunts. The smile on his face is terrifying to look at, but you can’t look away. “Without them, you’re just a human.”

“Wait,” Garaki chokes out. “Don’t –”

“You’re just a human,” Tomura repeats. “Humans die.”

You’ve watched Tomura turn things to dust before, but never a person. Garaki crumbles, the same as the wasps and the other insects and the plants. You hear a last gasp of air leave his lungs, choked with dust towards the end, and see his eyes go blank a second before they turn dull and dusty and pop from his skull. It’s over in less than two seconds. Garaki’s clothes crumple to the ground, empty. And after that it’s quiet.

Next to you, Hizashi breathes a sigh of relief. “That was close.”

“That wasn’t close at all,” Nemuri corrects. She’s only partially materialized. “It was over the instant he stopped messing around. What were you doing, anyway? You – watch it, Zashi –”

Hizashi leaps away from the fence with a yelp. Tomura’s right there, struggling to reach past the property line, his eyes fixed on you. “Give me my human.”

“You sure about that?” Hizashi asks. He gives you a little shake and keeps talking to Tomura. “You’re looking a little rough, my friend. Why not dematerialize and get some of that blood off your –”

“Now!”

Tomura’s voice isn’t particularly loud, but it still shakes the ground, and you feel Hizashi’s grip on your shoulder tighten with shock. He laughs it off, but you aren’t fooled. “One human, coming right up!” he announces. He picks you up and tosses you over the wreckage of the fence.

You’re not in any way prepared to catch yourself, but Tomura doesn’t let you hit the ground. Wouldn’t let you hit the ground. Maybe. He’s mad at you the instant he gets ahold of you, snapping at you even as his arms lock tightly around your waist. “You idiot! You’re just a human. That guy could have killed you! There are bugs under the house that are smarter than you are! Why would you even – what? What are you doing?”

You’re twisting in his grip, trying to get your arms free, and when you manage it, you wrap them around him, holding on as tightly as you can even though being this close to him isn’t helping your rapidly advancing case of hypothermia. “Are you okay?” you ask senselessly. “Your hand – your neck – are you hurt?”

“I’m fine. Don’t be stupid.” Tomura shakes your shoulder with the hand you were asking about, the one Garaki bent completely back at the wrist. “My neck is fine. The scratches will go away once I dematerialize. Why are you acting so weird?”

You pull your hand away from his neck with an effort. It comes back smeared with blood, and you curl it into a shaky fist. “I was worried.”

“I said not to be stupid,” Tomura says. He shakes your shoulder again. “I had it right from the beginning.”

He didn’t. You know what you saw, and he didn’t. “You had it once you flexed,” Dabi says from just outside the fence. “You dumbass. Why did you think the guy who summoned me and the megaphone with legs would be weak? Give me back my human.”

You have a rule about not laughing at Dabi’s jokes, but ‘megaphone with legs’ as a description for Hizashi is too funny to ignore. You’re giggling weakly to yourself as Keigo emerges from your house, stepping through the wreckage of your fence to join Dabi on the street. He’s got one arm in a sling and a few scratches on his face, but otherwise he looks okay. “Was it just me, or was that way too close?” he asks the ghosts and the Nomu and Shirakumo still hanging out in the street. “If we do anything like that again, we need to fix – hey, watch the arm!”

Dabi’s grabbed him, not dissimilarly to the way Tomura grabbed you, and he plants an incredibly weird-looking kiss on him. You’ve never tried making out with Tomura while he’s half-materialized, and there’s a good reason. There’s – tongues. You can see them. Keigo puts his hand against Dabi’s face and pushes him partly back, but that doesn’t dissuade Dabi at all. He picks Keigo up and marches right back across the street, up their front steps, and into the house.

“Uh, goodnight,” you say faintly. The door slams shut.

“Is there a human saying for post-victory sex?” That’s Magne’s voice. She and Atsuhiro are making their way up the street. “Humans have the silliest names for the most disgusting things they do.”

“I think post-victory sex is about as descriptive as it gets,” Shirakumo says in that strange doubled voice. The other Nomu is still standing there, hands down at its sides, and Shirakumo turns to it. “Hey. Natsu, right? I think we probably need to talk.”

“He’s doing better,” Nemuri remarks to Hizashi as the two Nomus cross the street. “Did something happen?”

“They merged. Him and the ghost,” Tomura says. He’s still holding you, and you’re starting to get really cold. “They wanted to help more than they wanted to die.”

“Good,” Hizashi says after a moment. He looks relieved. “Can I have my humans back now?”

“I don’t want your humans.” Tomura doesn’t look up, but when you peer over his shoulder, you see Shinsou carrying Eri and helping Aizawa navigate the stairs at the same time. “If you even think about setting foot in my yard again, I’ll kill you and I’ll make it hurt.”

“Deal,” Hizashi says. He glances at you, still relieved even though Tomura’s just threatened to kill him. “I misjudged your human, anyway. She’s not so bad after all.”

You didn’t trust Hizashi very much before today, and now you don’t trust him at all – but you think you’ve got a handle on what he’s like, which means his comment makes absolutely no sense. He doesn’t like you. He sees you as a threat to his family’s safety because he thinks you could compromise Tomura. Why would he say that he misjudged you in front of another ghost, knowing that Tomura can probably tell if he’s lying? If he wasn’t lying, but if he wasn’t lying, why did he change his tune about you?

The question’s a little too much for you to answer right now. Your brain is still scrambled and you’re freezing cold. Tomura refuses to put you down until Jin’s mom, who’s coming over to retrieve Jin, realizes your lips are blue and makes him do it. You stagger into the house under your own power, peel off your shoes, and head straight upstairs to your room. You get under the blankets fully clothed and curl up into a ball, trying to stay warm. There’s no way you’ll be able to sleep until the shivers die down.

You hear the front door close and lock like it’s coming from a long way away, then footsteps up the stairs. Tomura drops Phantom on the bed and she snuggles against you over the covers. It helps, sort of. You sneak one icy hand out to pet her ears, only to bump against Tomura’s hand doing the same thing. “You feel cold like me,” he says. You make some kind of awful, teeth-chattery noise of agreement. It’s quiet for a second. “I hurt you. You let me. Why?”

“You had to learn.” You don’t want to talk about this. “I was fine afterward. What the conjurer did was way worse.”

“I hurt you. Are you scared of me again?” Tomura sounds miserable. “You’re scared again. You’ll leave.”

“Not scared,” you mumble. “Not leaving. I just wanted to help. I wanted to make sure you won, and I wasn’t sure you could.”

You’re hoping that doubting his strength will set him off on bragging about how tough he is, so he’ll forget all about this. But you’re not so lucky. You spent all of tonight’s luck somewhere else. “I don’t understand,” Tomura says. “You let me hurt you for the neighborhood?”

“Don’t be stupid,” you say, just in time for it to occur to you that you’ve never really let on that you’re concerned with anything but the neighborhood as a whole. “I let you to make sure you won. I didn’t want something bad to happen to you.”

“So I could keep protecting the neighborhood.”

“No,” you say, too fast and too sure. “So I could keep hanging out with you.”

There’s probably a better way to say it. A more honest way to say it. If you were a ghost you’d be one hundred percent busted, because you’re lowballing this to a ridiculous degree. You want more stupid movie nights where he spends the entire movie asking questions and you have to rewind it and watch it again. You want more moments where you spy on him playing with Phantom, more moments where you watch him try to understand humans and succeed a little more each time. You want to teach him how to cook more things, not so he’ll cook for you but because he likes to know how things work and how to do them right. You want more makeouts and hookups and moments where he stays close to you without either of you understanding why.

You want to keep hanging out with Tomura, sure. You want that because you love him.

“That’s what I want,” Tomura says, surprised. “Wait, do you –”

“We agree. We don’t need to talk about it anymore.” You curl up into a tighter ball around Phantom and look up at Tomura. “Are you staying or what?”

Tomura looks even more surprised than before. “You said I don’t get to stay on your bed at night.”

“And you don’t listen. I know where you are even when you’re dematerialized,” you say. “You might as well do it embodied. And outside the sheets, so I don’t freeze.”

You can tell Tomura’s confused, but he hops onto the bed anyway, sprawling out on the other side. “It wasn’t hard to kill that conjurer,” he says. “I could do it again.”

For some reason, that’s when it clicks for you – the reason Hizashi doesn’t hate you anymore, the reason he was relieved. His problem with you is that you’re a reason for Tomura to give up being a ghost. The only way to give up being a ghost is to completely drain a human being and take their place, and it only happens if the ghost wants to be human more than they’ve ever wanted anything else in the whole world, in all of time. Tomura completely drained a human being tonight. If he was going to embody himself permanently, this was his chance. And he didn’t.

You knew he wouldn’t. You’ve always known that. You’ve known forever that loving Tomura would mean loving him as a ghost and nothing else. It’s best this way. The neighborhood stays protected. Hizashi stops hating you. This is how it’s supposed to be.

“Hey.” Tomura shakes your shoulder, then touches your cheek. “What are these? Are you crying?”

“Humans do that sometimes to relieve stress,” you say. You’re amazed with the steadiness in your voice. “It’s fine.”

“Mm.” Tomura sounds skeptical, but he doesn’t argue with you. He edges closer to you, drapes one arm around your waist and presses against your back. All you can feel through the blankets is the faintest chill. “You can be the spoon this time.”

“The little spoon,” you correct. “You’re the big spoon.”

“What if I don’t want to be a spoon?”

“Then find a different way to snuggle.” You don’t want him to do that. You want him to hold you like this until you fall asleep, and when a vaguely aggrieved silence falls, you know you’ll get your wish. “It’s not so bad.”

“Idiot,” Tomura mumbles. “Go to sleep.”

You close your eyes, sandwiched between your ghost and your dog, not quite cold and not quite warm. It’s almost comfortable. Maybe you should fall asleep like this every night.

If you ever sleep again. When you wake up in the middle of the night, frozen with incomprehensible terror from a dream of the world between, you’re not sure you’ll even dare to close your eyes.

[babyspacebatclone]

I can’t believe it.

I can’t believe it.

I found it.

I found the fucking ABA textbook.

I found the thing that convinced me as a psychology undergrad that ABA was insane.

I can’t….

I can’t.

You don’t understand.

I’d almost convinced myself I was crazy, that I’d exaggerated this after a decade

But it exists, it was real.

This really was in the first fucking chapter. Of a book. Published in 2013.

This.

(This becomes a ramble, and not a cute raccoon version. Let’s add a cut for sanity.)

Edit: Let’s also move things around so this is discussable.

Please bear with me - this experience hurt me.

Context: Here is the Amazon ratings for this textbook:

4.5 out of 5 stars.

Reviews talk about its breezy, conversational nature, and how simply it breaks down behavioral principles.

This is true, and when I first encountered the book (then the 6th edition) in 2012 I was stymied.

The behavioral stuff made sense, and I could see the applications.

But the tone….. From that first chapter bashing Freud in the 2010s as though that were evidence about the efficacy of ABA, the philosophy of the textbook felt - arrogant, egotistical, dismissive of any other viewpoint in a way that was anathema to my personal therapy philosophy.

Then I realized the author had been 75 as I was reading it, and just chalked it up to him fighting a decades long fight he didn’t realize had been over - the need for scientific rigor in psychology - for decades.

Which made me confused as to why it was still being used without comment on the author’s… underlying batshitness, but I again chalked that up to the fact the grad assistant had to take over the course a third of the way through.

I just double checked, and the 3 ABA courses I took had been mandatory for my degree and not just recommended electives after the first because wow this fucking shit.

Anyway, my second of the ABA courses had been taught by an adjunct (someone who works in the field and teaches applicable courses), and made sense.

There was still some “everything’s programmed responses to external input” vibes, but that’s behaviorism and it felt more like a different philosophy I could respect but choose a different branch instead of a…. absolute that viewed me as an inferior being if I didn’t submit to their regal superiority.

In conclusion, I think the cognitive motivational theorists do psychology a service by raising the issue of avoidance contingencies in human affairs, but I think they get it almost completely wrong in stressing the suppressive effects of passive avoidance or punishment contingencies and generally ignoring the beneficial effects of active avoidance. In addition, I think they do our field a service by formally raising the issue of intrinsic reinforcers in human affairs, but again I think they get it almost completely wrong in suggesting that intrinsic reinforcers are all we need.

At the end of my rants, I like to add: Of course, this is only my opinion; and I could be wrong, but probably not. [emphasis added]

That is the actual fucking close of an actual fucking article Malott wrote in the early 2000s slamming on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

My mild misgiving about misunderstanding the intention of the textbook and the author???

Thrown out the fucking window in my third (and I repeat require course for my degree).

Which was taught by an equality elderly good personal friend of the author.

…

I have more I could add.

But I shall end this here.

This author is still treated as a member in good standing in respected ABA organizations.

After…. this bullshit just four years after the 7th edition of this “wonderful” textbook was published.

OG post below, only read the quoted section if you want to laugh, it’s fucking mid and doesn’t express why this individual is a piece of shit who should never have been allowed to fucking influence anyone, let alone be responsible for Autistic children, let alone teach people to fucking hate anyone not “perfectly logical” like oh so holy and superior them.

[begin quoted section]

WHY JUST A BEHAVIORAL VIEW?

Sid’s Seminar

MAX: I’ve been reading ahead, and it looks as if this book deals mainly with behavior analysis. It doesn’t say much about other approaches to psychology. Why not psychoanalysis, Freud, Piaget, information processing, cognitive psychology, humanistic psychology?

JOE: What do you expect? The title of the book is Principles of Behavior.

TOM: That may be the title of the book, but shouldn’t we be getting a broader view of the various psychological theories in this class?

SID: An interesting point. Psychology sure isn’t short on theories. We have Freud, Jung, Piaget, cognitive psychology, humanistic psychology, gestalt psychology...

JOE: The people in California produce a new pop theory almost every week.

SID: Here’s what I’ve found in teaching this course. I tried to cover all the theories, but the students were shortchanged. They didn’t learn enough about any one theory to really understand it, let alone make use of it. At best, they learned a few clichés they could use in making small talk. They didn’t appreciate or understand the theories. They gained no solid knowledge. They learned no useful skills. On the other hand, when I devote a whole course to a single approach, the students understand and appreciate that approach—both its strengths and its weaknesses.

TOM: OK, but why behavior analysis? Why not Freud?

SID: Because I’m a professional behavior analyst. Behavior analysis is what I teach best. However, I used to assign a chapter on Freud that I was excited about but my students couldn’t get into Freud. (To see the Freud chapter, go to DickMalott.com.)

JOE: Also, behavior analysis has more scientific data supporting it and can be applied to more areas than any other approach.

SUE: Professor Harper said if you want to study Freud, you have to go to the English department. He said almost no major psychology department in North America takes Freud too seriously any more.

SID: Here’s one more reason I concentrate on behavior analysis, rather than an eclectic approach. With a bachelor’s degree in general psych, there’s almost no job you can get using what you’ve learned about psychology. But, if you’ve had some training in behavior analysis, like what you’ll get in this course, you can get a job as soon as you graduate, using applied behavior analysis, if you’re willing to go where the jobs are; and they’re all around the country and starting to be all around the world. Most of these bachelor’s jobs involve working with children classified as autistic, people classified as mentally impaired, and people with brain injuries. (To find more about behavior-analysis job opportunities, go to DickMalott.com.) And we’ll study more about working with these clients throughout this course.

[end quoted section, available here to read in the context of the chapter it appeared in, the link is “POB Chapter 1”]

The entire. Fucking. Book. Was written with that insufferable ego.

This was my textbook for a 400 level course.

It counted as a prereq for the Masters levels.

Written by a man who…

…..

Wait one second, I just opened the author’s Wikipedia page and…

….

Fuck.

Did not know that.

If you don’t know this place:

There have been repeated attempts to shut down the [Judge Rotenberg] center by autism rights advocates, disability rights advocates, and human rights advocates. Other notable people who have opposed the center include Ari Ne'eman, Shain Neumeier and Lydia Brown. Organizations that oppose the center include the Autistic Self Advocacy Network, Disability Rights International, and Community Alliance for the Ethical Treatment of Youth.

……….

I’m going to go chug some Diet Dr. Pepper, since I don’t drink alcohol because of the medication I take.

[driftwithme]

Some notes on my interpretation of chaleigh:

Although Chuck had had a teen crush on Raleigh, it wasn't 'til they personally met that it hit Chuck with full force.

That's because Raleigh never felt real to Chuck until that moment. All Chuck had was an idealized version of Raleigh, the reason why Chuck couldn't help to feel threatened by Raleigh, afraid of getting replaced now Raleigh was back. It was the Double Event what made reality land on Chuck. Raleigh was real and had just saved him and his dad and he was out there risking his life against 2 kaijus with no option for reinforcements and Chuck had been a colossal dick to him, fuck.

On the other hand, it is Operation Pitfall what makes it for Raleigh.

You know that scene when he states he is looking forward to the future for the first time in 5 years? I think post-Pitfall Raleigh carries that energy with him --they can live now, war is over, he's free.

Raleigh hears Chuck's "last words" in his nightmares. Those nights, conversations that haunts him get mixed 'til he hears Chuck's I want to come back 'cause I like my life and Yancy's Raleigh listen!! and Pentecost's you know what you have to do and Mako's Raleigh please and even his own words anyone can fall. He thinks there's something there but it's gone by morning light.

Chuck knew before Pitfall he was in love with Raleigh, but pushed it down 'cause they were heading on a suicidal mission. It'd done no good. There was no time.

Post-Pitfall Chuck can't look at Raleigh without feeling his heart bursting with hope. He hates it and hates himself and hates Raleigh because his love rivals his grief (for having survive when Pentecost died) and he's really really suffering. No man is made to be that happy when all he wants to do is die.

Which means yes, Chuck is suicidal.

He's passively suicidal tho. He'd not do anything to hurt himself but he is simply not taking care of himself either.

And from all it's worth, Raleigh Becket is the most qualified person to guide him through it. Raleigh is a bit desperate on that sense 'cause he recognizes himself after Knifehead in Chuck and he swears he can't let it happen. Not to someone else. He can't let the story repeat itself. It's gonna destroy them both.

I think it's just a matter of time before Raleigh fondness for Chuck turns into deep respect and admiration. It's just a matter of time before it is too much for poor Chuck and he's exploding again (in a figurative sense, sorry!) and confessing his feelings to Raleigh if only because he can't focus on his healing when he's too busy swallowing his love for Raleigh.

I think Raleigh kiss him first and Chuck punches him and refuses to see him or let him close to him, believing that the Becket is only doing it to heal Chuck. Not that Raleigh could feel anything for him anyway, right? He pushes the pain away and goes ranger mode again and it's a total mess. Mako and Herc panic because hell, co-pilots can't read minds out of the drift, everyone! They know it's bad and they know Raleigh and Chuck are agonizing over it and they do have a clue of what might be happening (they are not completely blind), but still.

Raleigh is mad mad. He knows how he feels about Chuck and it pisses him off that Chuck is deciding it for him. It only shows him that Chuck doesn't respect him like a grow ass man yet, that Chuck is being selfish by pushing Raleigh away to protect his own feelings, not caring about how it might hurt Raleigh too. He is beyond angry. He thought they were friends! He thought they had gone past the fighting to hide their fears! Beyond the need to hurt the other to shut him up, beyond burying their own needs in favor of saving the world! They are free, finally, and Raleigh is pissed because he is dying to show Chuck what it means, he is scared for Chuck and he's scared he'll lose him now that he could have him and he doesn't know why Chuck. Won't. Listen!!!!!

When Chuck finally settles in his head enough to realize that he hurt Raleigh again, he's scared to death it is too late, that he has screwed their chance for real this time, that Raleigh got tired of him or got too hurt or worst. The possibility of losing the first friend he has in years is driving him crazy.

Chuck has years of trauma / training to on how to force himself out of his own bloody body, always aiming to be the perfect soldier, even if no one likes him, even if it makes him lonely, even if he feels it eating at his lungs when night falls and he has no one to tell him it that his nightmares are not real, he is meant to be alive, it was not an error, he is not there by mistake. They are always some variation of what if Herc was supposed to save his mom but he fucked up what if he was meant to die on pitfall but the breach fuck it up what if what if what if.

I'm not implying Chuck is not smart or emotionally aware enough to push all of it away, knowing it to be a lie. What I'm saying is that it's hard to fight that war on your own. Those battles... you cannot win them getting on a jaeger. You cannot win them in one night. Or a year. Or even a lifetime. You fight every day and some you lose. You'll have to keep going, tho. Again and again and again. That's what every survivor knows. You survive every year a bit more.

At this point Raleigh was probably just waiting for Chuck to come around. He talked it out with Mako, who helped him come to terms with the whole situation, and with Herc, who promised to keep Raleigh informed at all times and to help Chuck open up when he was ready.

It is the last nail on Chuck's coffin: to realize Raleigh Becket was willing to wait for him like that. Chuck's feeling raw and bared, naked. Raleigh is looking at him like he did after the double event, like he is evaluating something, all blank faced. And like then, Chuck lowers his chin and forces himself to stare back, stay quiet, let Raleigh decide how to feel about him.

Chuck completely broke the moment Raleigh's mouth softened and the edges of his eyes started wrinkling, the muscle of his cheek hinting a tiny puppy smile. His whole life is rushing back through his veins and he is breathing in without even wondering if he shouldn't be shocking on salt water and oh, Chuck is so in love with Raleigh Becket, fuck.

They sit and talk.

Raleigh says:

You can't go into a relationship trying to be both people at once, Chuck. You can only be you and I can only be me and we will have to make it work.

You'll think that after piloting giants of steel, the veterans of the jeager program would effortlessly fly on their own feet, light and comfortable. No one tells you how awkward it is to relearn how to live with only one brain inside your head or relearn to fight fate with a much more fragile body. No one tells you how hard it is to learn how to live again, after you've were sure you wouldn't make it out alive.

But it gets sweeter, the process, when you expect arms wrapped around you when you fall, lips and thumbs erasing the tears from your cheeks. It is as good as it gets, Chuck knows, Raleigh knows.

Too bad they've always been the ones to challenge what is said to be the limit.

[scribblesandknots]

Snippet Sunday

I was not tagged for this but I want some motivation to keep working on my ME2-era Shakarian fic, so here's a snipped from the first chapter, during the archangel recruitment mission. (This might actually be the first time I've posted fanfic publicly? If I think about that too long I will have Fear and not post it, so here goes!)

~

“How’d you let yourself get into this position, anyway?” Shepard asked.

I tried to be you.

“My feelings got in the way of my better judgment,” he said bitterly. “It’s a long story.” He saw Shepard looking at him out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn’t bear to look to see if it was with pity or with derision. “I’ll make you a deal: you get me out of here alive, and I’ll tell you the whole damn thing.” So you can decide if you even want me at your back. Spirits know you shouldn’t.

“I didn’t like sneaking, anyway,” Shepard said, stepping closer. Garrus was still looking down at his rifle, but her gauntleted hands were in his peripheral vision. Shepard rubbed one over the other in an imitation of a habit he’d seen a hundred times on the Normandy.  Shepard and her - what did she call it? “Knuckle-cracking”? Humans just have fizzy joints, it’s fine, they only sound like they’re breaking bone. “Time to spill a little merc blood.”

Garrus couldn’t help but grin at the obvious, if grim, joy in Shepard’s voice. She glanced at each of the humans and nodded to either side, signaling them to take up positions. Both had guns in hand and the tell-tale glow of biotics wreathing them as they moved into position. Shepard stayed next to Garrus, pulling out an assault rifle.

“Glad to see you haven’t changed. Let’s see what they’re up to…” He peered down the bridge through his scope. “They’ve reinforced the other side - heavily. But they’re not coming over the bridge yet. What are they waiting for?”

He’d barely finished the sentence when an explosion rocked the floor beneath his feet. He swayed from the blast and from exhaustion, but Shepard put a hand out to his elbow to steady him before he could right himself. He was overcome with a sense of loss when she let go.

“Dammit, they’ve breached the lower level,” he said, glancing toward the stairs to cover his confusion. “Well, they had to use their brains eventually. You’d better get down there, Shepard - we need those tunnels sealed, or they’ll overrun us. I’ll keep the bridge clear.”

“Let’s split up two and two - keep one of my team here,” she said, moving away from the wall. The other two humans joined her, waiting for orders.

“You sure? Who knows what you’ll find down there. I’ll be alright on my own.” Liar.

“I’m sure,” she said, turning to meet his gaze. You’re a liar, and she knows it. Garrus fought not to turn away, not to break eye contact - Shepard always saw too much, even when he wasn’t reeling from exhaustion and shock, but looking away felt like an admission of guilt. You are guilty. She already knows. She can see. He looked away.

“Miranda - stay with Garrus. Keep him alive.”

“Yes, Shepard.”

“Thanks, Shepard.” He met her gaze again, and the mixture of concern and steel nearly brought him to his knees. “You’d better get going.”

He turned back to the railing and fiddled with the stock of his sniper rifle, refusing to watch her walk away down the stairs. His heart hammered with the need to not let her back out of his sight, but he shoved it down and scoped down across the bridge.

“The tunnels are swarming with them,” Shepard’s voice said in his ear, over the comms. His arm wavered, the view in the scope swinging wildly. In his first days on Omega, taking down mercs where he could, desperate odds left and right - he’d felt like she was with him, like her voice would crackle to life over the comms again any moment. Hearing it again now was almost too much.

“You’ll need to seal the tunnels off to keep them out,” he repeated, just to keep her talking. Don’t leave me again.

“On it,” she said, gunfire in the background. “Stay safe.”

“On it.”

[jllux]

how to change a persons attitudes/beliefs !!

do you have a super strict parent who won’t let you do anything? or do you have an sp who all of a sudden started acting different? then fear no more because i’m here to help 😉😉

when someone is acting in a way that is distasteful to you or makes you upset, don’t worry because you can easily change it.

1. stop repeating the scenario in your head!!!

i know it can be easy to focus on the bad and let the sadness consume you, but babe u deserve the best i swear!!!! replace the scenario with one that’s in your favour.

e.g- instead of imagining your sp not texting you, replace it with them texting you all the time and always calling you and you guys talking on the phone, etc.

2. not focusing on the bad doesn’t mean you have to suppress your emotions

remember that regardless, you’re allowed to feel jealous, you’re allowed to feel upset, it’s okay. Just don’t repeat or affirm to yourself the version of this person that you don’t like. For example, my boyfriend all of a sudden turns cold towards me and starts being distant, obviously i’ll be upset?? maybe i might shed a tear or two, but i will NOT in my mind repeat affirmations which reinforce that he’s being distant and cold. Instead id switch it with what i want like 'my bf is sooo affectionate, he’s always doing things I want without me even having to say anything'

This was very short and to the point because that’s the way it is. Manifesting is easy!!! don’t overcomplicate it

TLDR: Just affirm they’re the version you want!!! and focus on that version of them not the shitty one

my own success stories with this

- my dad used to be overbearingly strict, he would control what i wore, would make me stay at home and wouldn’t let me go out with friends at all, the list goes on!! but now he’s the complete opposite, and i’m living my best life

- i’m friends w this guy and he used to be so close minded and if ur british, you know how fucking mean boys are here and then just say ‘it’s banter' 😭😭 anyways he was one of those but now he’s super nice #win

- me and my older sister used to have a really shitty relationship because she was just so mean and rude and i really disliked her character whatever. Now we can have civilised conversations, we go out together often, and i even babysit her kids and it’s nice to have this

- and how could i forget this piece of gold

[toodumbtosayontwitter]

Toxic parents bark orders at their adult children like they're their own personal stress ball. "I'm unhappy and insecure in my own life and lack of accomplishments, so I'm going to yell and nitpick at every little thing you do, squeezing your emotions until you're a crying quivering stressed-out mess because only then will I feel a little better about myself. And nothing you do can or will ever be good enough to make me stop treating you this way." [Because the problem is inside the parents, not their children.]

Personally, anytime I'm visibly happy, their reaction is consistently... *yell, nitpick, backhanded "compliment", insult, order, threaten, order, order, gaslight, threaten*

Rinse. Repeat.

Anytime I'm having a bad day, am visibly depressed or hiding in my room... *laugh, insult, threaten, order, order, threaten, order, threaten*

And, miraculously, parents always seem happier and less stressed after doing this. Like they've just barged into their adult child's life to put a psychological squeeze on the child so the parents can relieve themselves of their own stress by transferring it to someone else.

I am not your stress ball. F*** you.

Somehow, they understand that training animals is always more efficient with a mix of positive and negative reinforcement. But when it comes to human beings, the only acceptable form of communication they believe works is hateful authoritarianism.

Like, it sucks you got bullied in highschool and now you're looking to have that power over someone else, but that doesn't make you a good parent. It makes you just as bad as the people who hurt you. It makes you an absolutely abhorrent parent, a bully, and a narcissist. Stop. Grow up. Get therapy like the rest of us. Stop making your child's anxiety and depression worse by burdening them with your own. Jfc

I can be as polite and sweet and obedient as a robot around them, but they will still find any tiny little thing to flip out about. And if there is nothing to get angry about, they will get mad over something they assume I will do wrong in the future. Nothing is ever good enough. Nothing ever will be. And any expression of emotion that is "too positive" or "too negative" will be taken as a personal attack on them and met with threats, insults, barked orders, and more threats.

It's no wonder I'm an introvert with social anxiety when the people closest to me are an absolute nightmare to interact with anytime they are not silently watching TV or literally asleep.

Trying to not let those monsters live in my head rent free more than absolutely necessary, so cutting off the rant here. Anyway, I deserve better. And to anybody else who has experienced this: you deserve better too. Sending love and strength.

[arcplaysgames]

So as far as beach episodes go: P4G > P3P > P5R

this one was a snoozefest, so let's touch on the important bits that stand out and then talk about Beige Boy and Solid Snake.

One, I have fully turned against Ryuji on the basis of his frequent and repeated disregard for Morgana as a part of the team and frankly as a full person. I am getting really teed the fuck off because for the last five hours or so of gametime, I have been watching Mona get more and more anxious about his place and about whether anyone on the team cares about him and his journey to the heart of Mementos

and at every fucking opportunity, Ryuji basically reinforces to Morgana yeah, you're not really one of the guys, you're not really part of the team, you're the mascot.

If I had agency in the world of this game, I would take Ryuji aside for a Fucking Discussion about this, because the fuse is lit and I am certain we are headed for a rift between Morgana and the team,a nd you know what? I'm on Morgana's side. He should be pissed, he should be hurt, because I'm hurt on his behalf just watching this unfold.

Fucking Ryuji, you are the bottom barrel of the Token Best Friends. Yosuke would never do me like this*. And if Junpei were here, he'd be Morgana's BFF, are you kidding.

(* in fact yosuke did the Literal Opposite and adopted the 'mascot character' lmao fuck you ryuji)

Yusuke is the fucking load-bearing column holding this game up, i swear to god. I have never understood the Moronsexual joke until right now. I imagine Reverie is like "I have to marry him, he'd be fucking hopeless without me???? it's just the right thing to DO"

Alas, Atlus hates me.

Futaba trying to grab the lobsters while Yusuke holds them out of her reach is the best rigging and animation this game has given us thus far.

Futaba picks her name, Oracle. And she is explicitly here to learn more about her mother's research, less to save people. Which is respectable and she's very up front about it.

THAT'S THE BEACH TRIP. like this one just was..... ugh. it had the weird queerphobic stuff again and it pulled the "the boys try to pull girls and fail" gag again but this time with ZERO charm at all. I remember that scene in P4G with Kanji, Yosuke, and Reverie was one of my favorites because it was genuinely really funny. This had nothing.

SIGH. WHATEVER. LET'S TALK ABOUT MORE INTERESTING STUFF.

blah blah blah evil evil evil blah blah blah

i have at this point accepted that Persona just sucks at foreshadowing the Big Bad of their games and P3 was a fluke. interested to see how P2 does when I eventually play it.

oh shit this game caught some of the Sony Hot Sad Dads disease, huh? Iwai has a dweeby looking son named Kaoru and he's ex-yakuza.

Do I like Iwai or do i just miss MGS2 Solid Snake? Who could say.

Also his shop theme tune fucks severely, it sounds like SMT4.

Anyway, after that we're having very domestic funtime at the cafe when

oh shit Beige Alert

Futaba immediately hides behind Reverie because she got Vibe Radar. Vibedar, if you will.

I feel like when Akechi enters your vicinity, your phone should get one of those emergency PSAs. Like when a tornado touches down in your county.

Okay so. /points. Eyes closed.

/points.

The fuck is happening here. Like, bruh, you showed up and immediately mentioned the lady who threatened Sojiro's custody of his daughter, and now you are looking like a wounded puppy because it turned the atmosphere frosty.

You did that, homeboy, that was you. I know you are astute enough to know that.

He sadly drinks his coffee and reveals his backstory: he was raised by a single mom who died soon after, then got stuck in the foster care system for a while.

THAT FAKEASS SMILE AGAIN. See, this is why I know he stirred up the hostile energy on his arrival on purpose, he is extremely good at tone and social cues, enough so that he can use or not use them to his advantage.

I would tell Reverie to install a deadbolt on his door but he doesn't have a door lmao this is going to be great

I keep saying this but: Bryan Fuller vibes. My god, Bryan Fuller vibes.

Futaba realizes she missed the fireworks festival so she runs out to get some small fireworks, and Morgana goes with her to make sure she's okay.

Morgana is the fucking best. He really gives a shit and puts himself out there for people and I just want him to be appreciated dammit!

This is Reverie's family now, yep. See that gurl? She is his sister. See that old man? That's his dad. Yep!

Also Sojiro doesn't even know Morgana is a person and treats him better than Ryuji.

yeah this is me going full kill bill sirens on Ryuji, sorry. i will slam dunk him into a fucking dumpster, i'm so angry with him for his MANY MANY fuck ups and, specifically, how he doesn't seem to learn or grow from any of them.

I think that's my beef with him. Like, P3P, Junpei did multiple big fuck ups, but he both apologized explicitly for them and also learned from them and became a better person for it. He was my ultimate ride or die. I romanced Akihiko but my true love was my broship with Junpei.

Yosuke also fucked up a lot and even went full Joker Mode once, but he also experienced one of the longest arcs of character growth in the game. I remember when I started to like him after being tepid on him for the first third of the game and how annoyed I was that he was growing as a person!!!! But he wound up being a fave.

I need Ryuji to get his shit together and start growing tf up bc I am real sick of his self-important bullshit and how he steps on Morgana's feelings. I am hoping whatever the upcoming blow-up with Morgana is leads him to wake tf up, but also I'm not holding my breath.

At least I have Ann and Yusuke.

[raayllum]

So I’ve always thought it was interesting that 2x06 opens and ends with Harrow giving Callum a present, of sorts. The first one we see corresponds to his drawing with Harrow giving Callum his sketchbook. The second one is more of a secret but still very clearly something being passed on / down to him and closes off the letter as well.

Showing that the sketchbook was a gift from Harrow that Callum uses / carries with him all the time is a great way to recontextualize some of their early bond in S1 as well as set up just how emotional Callum is in 2x07 when he 1) knows Harrow is also gone at this point and 2) still angrily throws it on the ground because he’s so worried about Rayla. It also makes his slight hesitance here make a ton of sense as it’s precious to him not just from an artist-sketchbook standpoint, but also a father-son standpoint, yet he turns it over to Rayla anyway. 

But wait, there’s more!

We know that TDP likes to repeat episode structures / plot beats not only to reinforce the Cycle and all that (Rayla’s self loathing secrecy duology, the dragon quartet), but also to show character change and growth. Hence why S4 doubles down on this and creates all sorts of parallels throughout the season with all the previous seasons, particularly S1. 

Case in point: 1x04 opens with Callum and his sketchbook (his first gift from Harrow) and closes with Rayla (unknowingly) delivering Harrow’s last gift to him. 2x06 is structured the same way, beginning with the sketchbook and ending with the cube. Callum’s dark magic plot line opens and closes the same way, too, with the sketchbook (drawings of Rayla and Claudia respectively) inspiring him to do dark magic, only for the cube to be a symbol of both temptation (2x08) and that he’s found his new path (2x09 to a lesser degree). Finally, 3x08 inverts this system by putting the cube first and sketchbook second. The cube helps Callum realize the moon opal could be used for a memory spell and then he draws Rayla’s parents in his sketchbook in order to help comfort / convince her of what he’s seen. 

Now, part of this is surely because Callum only has 3-4 important objects assigned to him (his scarf, primal stone, sketchbook, and rune cube) across the course of the series. Rayla has 1-3 (her blades, binding, and then moon opal necklace) and Ezran noticeably has none until his crown in S3, which remains consistent. Of course the objects that Callum has on him and using all his smart brain power / resources is 1) something he’s always been good and 2) something he has to be good at just from a story standpoint because why give a character something if it’s not going to be useful or leave an impact?

However, the fact that these two objects typically work in tandem with each other (Callum’s sketchbook never has any impact on the brief time he has the primal stone beyond his initial sketch of it for example) and that the ordering is consistent is interesting, to say the least, even down to Rayla’s involvement / as an initiating incident. 

We don’t see much of his pattern into S4 as Callum doesn’t use his sketchbook more than twice in S4 and is the first season in which he doesn’t draw in it at all, either. However, the last time we see him use his sketchbook and the last time we see him with the cube are both in 4x07, following in the same sketchbook-cube order we typically see, and both related to Rayla (the wind spell so she / the group won’t be too hot to sleep, her advice causing him to try to let go of the cube). 

This also reinforces the consistent Harrow-Rayla parallels running throughout the series, but that could be a meta on its own. For now I just think this is neat and will as always take my little consistent coincidences to heart in hopes it pans out for one of my theories. It’s happened before, after all!