#it's why she tried so hard and had so many achievements when she was younger...

[zombinary]

Boris always wanted to make people smile, especially his parents

Nora always wanted to make people proud, especially her parents.....

[harleehazbinfics]

Can We? an au lucifer x reader oneshot

Author Profile a/n: SURPRISEEEEEE. i got 'we become we' -journey to jerusalem song on a loop since i found it and i knew i wasn't gonna get it out of my system unless i do something about it. so pls enjoy my ramblings lmfao word count: 1200+

"Your Majesty, please reconsider this! Our kingdom needs a Queen!"

Lucifer sighs at the aide's words, feeling irritated with the insistent suggestion of a Queen.

"I agree, your majesty. The people are quite worried for you. You need an heir, and you aren't getting any younger either," another aide jumps in.

Lucifer surrenders to them with hands in the air in exasperation and finally replies, "Fine."

The people in the room sigh in relief that they somehow got through to him. But hitch their breath when he adds on.

"However, I won't just choose anyone. Only the best candidate will stand by my side and be rightfully called the Queen," he glares.

"Good day, your majesty. My name is (full name), Princess of the Eastern Kingdom. I'm grateful for this opportunity," you smile amiably.

"Likewise," he responds quite honestly shocked from your tone.

You were the guest that was expected to arrive at the palace after receiving the invitation to be a Queen candidate. However, after word got around that you will be joining the fight for the title. All the ladies mutually agreed to resign. When he asked why, all the aide's replies were, "There is no other person worthy to be by your side other than the Princess."

Now, you stood in front of him. You were dressed beautifully, but not as extravagant as those ladies that came before him. You had a melodic tone in your voice that was pleasant to the ear. Your hands folded together gracefully. Everything about you was enchanting.

You tilt your head confused about his speechlessness. "Did I catch you in the wrong time?" you ask him.

His cheeks reddened, embarrassed that you left him dazed just from your introduction alone.

"No no," he excuses then coughs to get a grip on himself, "I apologize. I must have been tired from all the work this morning."

You give him an understanding smile and reply, "No apologies needed, your majesty. I feel honored to be here and see how hard you work. I'm sure this kingdom is grateful to have such a diligent King."

His blush intensifies from your non-stop flattery. He's heard many compliments in his life for his achievements. However, when you were the one saying those words. He can't help but believe it was all true with how genuine you sounded.

"Please, I'm quite embarrassed to hear such words from you, Princess. I've heard many tales of your acts of charity for your and other neighboring kingdoms. You've paved the way for others to follow in your example and gave a chance for the poor, homeless and orphaned," he redirected trying to calm his flaring cheeks.

He was pleasantly surprised at your reaction.

"P-Please! You've heard of that? Oh, I'm embarrassed! I hope only good thing reached your ears," you stumbled over your words when the attention turned back to you.

He laughs at you as you tried to hide behind your hair as you also flushed red. 'For someone, who gives out so many compliments. She can't even handle a couple of her own.'

'This wasn't such a bad idea,' he thought as he watched as you smile and continue talking to him.

"(Y/n), can I ask you something?" he says sitting at the edge of the bed where you sat beside while reading a book.

It had been several weeks since your marriage and it's been quite busy for the both of you as you adjusted to your married life. Lucifer finished paperwork for his projects and formal preparations for your ascension to your rights as the new Queen. Thankfully, it had finally calmed down and now you helped him with his work and even the inner management of the castle.

You have shared the room since the beginning, and you've already shared your first night as husband and wife together. Which was.. quite passionate to say the least. But, after both of you would wake up earlier or later than the other, too considerate to wake up the other from their well-earned rest. So, now that it has finally calmed down and Lucifer approached you. You couldn't help but feel nervous.

"Of course, anything," you reply putting away the book and taking his hand in yours.

He smiles and gains courage as he caresses your hand back and says, "Are you okay with this arrangement?"

You tilt your head unsure of the meaning, "About what?"

"This," he gestures to the both of you, "are you okay about our marriage?"

You huff out a laugh relieved, you thought it was a life or death situation, "Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

He shrugs and replies, "I don't know. I just thought you were having doubts about us."

You give him a meaningful look and stood up from your spot. You then tugged him to stand with you. You made him hold your waist and hand while you placed yours on his shoulder. You led him into a slow dance with a smile on your face.

"Remember, our dance together?" you asked.

"At the wedding?" he asks.

You shook your head and laughed, "We danced one together way before that. That night where we shared the stars together."

His eyes lit up, remembering that night.

"During that dance, I thought that being with you will be worthwhile. And if wherever this choice leads me. I won't regret being with you, Lucifer," you say with a deep look in your eyes.

His eyes soften as he gazed at you. You were nothing but wonderful to him, it was childish of him to assume you were having doubts. He should have trusted you and made you happy instead. You deserve nothing less than that.

"Can we become more Than half of a union we're chosen for?"

He sings as he pulls you closer to him.

"Where I am your best half And I am yours,"

You continue with a huge smile on your face as you followed his lead, gliding around the room.

"Stuck here forever And hopefully not ending in estrangement,"

You sang together faces inching towards each other with half lidded eyes.

"Can mine become yours Combining our dreams Without keeping score?"

You twirled around the room with him catching you. He opens the door and leads you out into the halls where you continued your dance.

"Always together, but never bored No choice in the matter but This will never work without each other,"

The both of you laugh like children as you chased each other down the halls.

"Can we become we? (Can we become we?) Start a new line on this family tree,"

He catches up to you and lifts you off the ground and kisses your cheek with a hearty chuckle from your deviousness.

"Two hearts connected by one beat, Your hand in mine and,"

You beam him a smile as you placed your hands on his chest feeling the rhythmic thumping of his heart from chasing you around.

"I could never choose to love another," Lucifer whispers as he pulls you into a kiss which you return with fervor.

After minutes of kissing one another, he places you down and hold your waist as places another kiss on your temple with a beaming smile. You return it and let him lead you back to your room.

"Maybe one day I can learn to love you, too," you whisper as you gave a passing gaze at the portrait of a blonde woman with her face covered with a large cloth.

Other Lucifer Fics:

@bonnie-02 @marxo5 @whaatttlaufey @froggybich @rybunnie @midorichoco @bontensbabygirl @janey @akiqvq @wonderlandangelsposts @spoiled-slutt @preciousbabypeter @roboticsuccubus83 @simbalioness @reachthestars @atlas-rin @manachpo@luc1fersducky @lovestruck-enby @azullynxx @delightedtosee @cherry-4200 @aria-tempest @lvstyangel @0strawberrysorbet0 @corvid007 @kaminarithebest @whydosnakesnotdance @psychoanalyze0 @sweetadonisbutbetter @lunalily19 @dionysusismypatrongod @skyeliteratures @sappire904

[lorei-writes]

HC: If he were to be a parent - Chevalier, pt.2

Continuation of HC: If he were to be a parent - Chevalier. Because I've developed some sort of Family AU by now, and I want to share it :)

Sponsored by the idea I had that would work best as a comic strip, but alas, I do not have the ability to make that. Extra fluffy bit below the cut, I just needed to lay ground for it first.

There may be more in the future.

Content Warnings: all things parenthood and pregnancy related

Chevalier

>>Children

Chevalier has two children, a son (eldest) and a daughter (youngest).

It isn't that they didn't want more children. However, the second pregnancy was harsher on his wife than the first one, and the delivery itself was complicated. In the end, Chevalier doesn't want to risk losing both his wife and a child, so they decided to stop at two.

The boy is named Arthur. Yes, after King Arthur. It is hard having book nerd parents. Appearance-wise, he took after his father, but he has his mother's warm eyes. However, unlike Chevalier, he isn't a prodigy child -- he is bright, and he tries his hardest, but even so, he feels that he can't measure up to his sister.

Arthur tends to be unaware of his own strengths, though. He's social, considerate of others, has some innate charisma, and most importantly: knows how to work well with others. He's fairly similar to Leon in many ways.

The girl is year and a half younger than her brother. Her name is Rosalie, and... It should suffice to say she's almost as if little Chevalier was born a girl. She excels in academics, and asked to be trained with a sword too. However, unlike little Chevalier, she has parents who care about her, so although not fluent in emotions, she isn't completely lost either. However, even so, she doesn't understand why her brother feels this way about her. Even if she was born a boy, she wouldn't want to become a king. It'd be too boring.

Clavis is her favourite uncle.

>>Morning Routine

For one thing, Chevalier gets continuously harder to wake up in the morning as they grow. First, because baby Arthur needed for somebody to take care of him. Then, because his wife was pregnant again, and Arthur was still very little. Then, because they had one toddler, and one newborn. And then, because they didn't have another child for long enough for foreign forces to realise that Arthur is the only heir to the crown that will probably be there. And Chevalier does not want for his child to be hurt, so he stays vigilant.

At this point, the Queen just lets him sleep in. She's been with him for years, she knows why he's sleeping poorly.

That being said, she also has some plans. Arthur is five at this point, Rosalie is three (and a half). First, the Queen sends Rosalie to wake Chevalier up. When that doesn't work, she asks Arthur to go and try as well.

Roughly what happens is:

Rosalie: Papa? Papa, wake up! *pulls at Chevalier's arm*

Chevalier: *opens one eye to identify who dares to wake him up*

Chevalier: *sees that it's just his daughter*

Chevalier: Five more minutes. <- an attempt at being responsible about setting an example

Rosalie: You always say that, papa. Wake up!

Chevalier: *inaudible mumbling*

Rosalie: Papa?

Chevalier: *pulls her onto the bed to cuddle with her*

Rosalie is not a morning person either, although for no particular reason. She's content to have achieved her goal, and falls asleep.

~ 20 minutes later ~

Arthur: Papa, wakee uuup!

Chevalier: *no reply*

Arthur: Come on, papa! Mom's making breakfast!

Chevalier: *the same manoeuvre as previously, this time with Arthur*

In the end, Chevalier gets between hour and an hour and a half of extra sleep each morning. His wife is the last one to come to wake him up (or well, them all up).

Her approach is very strategic. Not only is her husband (generally) unable to move freely at this point, and thus cannot pull her onto the bed. She also gets to watch Chevalier asleep, with their children cuddled into his sides. Even though he's not aware of this, he always pulls them closer as soon as he hears steps anywhere nearby.

(All that being said, the protocol of open-one-eye -> identify-the-intruder -> if:family;then:pull-in-for-cuddles is still attempted each time. Sometimes just to the laughter of his wife, though).

--

TagList: @cilokgoang @violettduchess @fang-and-feather @pathogenic

[suzannahnatters]

Ok so I wrote a whole steampunk trilogy about these two bejewelled idiots

so let me tell you about George V and Mary ("May") of Teck.

From the photo - woman dressed like a wedding cake, man wearing the Milky Way - you might think that this is a picture of privilege.

Well, yeah. You're right. Mostly.

Her name was Princess May, and she was Europe's least eligible spinster.

Although she was of royal blood, May was descended from a "morganatic" marriage - her grandfather on her father's side had married a commoner - in fact, a countess (gasp!) - on condition that their children would not inherit his small German duchy. May's two aunts never married, because no self-respecting German prince would be seen dead in a ditch marrying the offspring of a mere countess. May's father got lucky because over in England, Queen Victoria was struggling to cope with her cousin, MARY ADELAIDE. Mary Adelaide was fat, thirty-two, unmarried, more popular than the queen, and completely uncontrollable. Under the circumstances, the discovery of an unattached prince too beggarly to be picky was an absolute godsend. The English were too broadminded to care about the countess, and nobody else (as someone joked unkindly) would "venture on so vast an undertaking."

The marriage was happy, but extravagant. By the time May was 16, the family was so deeply in debt that they had to run away from England to avoid their debtors. For the next two years they lived in Italy, where May was able to get an excellent education in art history, languages, singing, and painting.

After returning to England, May took an interest in visiting the poor and collecting funds for charities. Serious, diligent, and intelligent, May hoped that one day she would have an important role to play in the world…but how? She was not royal enough to marry into royalty, but she was much too royal to marry beneath her.

It was Queen Victoria who decided to play the fairy godmother. One day, quite unexpectedly, she invited May to join her at Balmoral. Several days later, Prince Eddy also arrived. Eddy was Victoria's grandson, third in line to the throne, and thus (if you overlooked the affairs with married women, and the scandals, and the venereal disease, and the sub-zero IQ) the most eligible bachelor in the whole British Empire. In Victoria's opinion, what the future King of England needed most was a good, smart, steady wife. She'd already tried to arrange several other matches for Eddy, including one with Princess Alix of Hesse (who would go on to marry Tsar Nicholas II of Russia, a match which would in no way help to precipitate a violent revolution and end in a hail of bullets, blood, and diamonds), but all of them had failed. Now, she thought May would do.

Perhaps May thought it was her only chance to achieve lasting financial security. Possibly she agreed with Victoria that the future of the British Royal Family depended on Eddy marrying someone with half a brain. Maybe she even hoped for love. When Eddy proposed, May accepted.

Just weeks before the wedding, May was staying at Sandringham for Eddy's 28th birthday celebrations when he came down with influenza. The next day, he developed pneumonia. Five days later he was dead.

More than a hundred years later, we can be excused for looking back and feeling that both May and the whole British Empire dodged a significant bullet there. To Eddy's family, it was a crushing tragedy. One who mourned him was Eddy's younger brother, a steady, hard-working, unimaginative naval officer named George. Prince George was not just dull as dishwater and nearly as badly educated as his brother, he was also significantly healthier, smarter, and more disciplined. Now, with George taking Eddy's place as heir to the throne, many immediately began to think that George should take Eddy's bride as well. After all, Queen Victoria had already gone to the trouble of vetting and approving May, and why should all that work go to waste?

Among those who thought so were May's own parents. When Eddy's family went on holiday to the south of France to grieve in peace, May's parents packed up their daughter and followed. George dutifully called on the family, and over the next few months, as May travelled around Europe, she and George corresponded via letter. Emotionally constipated as he was, George had grown used to writing heartfelt notes to his deaf mother. May was also painfully shy. Signs were against them, but the two managed to become engaged in 1893 after significant prodding from both their families. Shortly afterwards, they exchanged these hilariously awkward letters:

MAY: I am very sorry that I am still so shy with you. I tried not to be so the other day, but alas failed, I was angry with myself! It is so stupid to be so stiff together and really there is nothing I would not tell you, except that I love you more than anybody in the world, and this I cannot tell you myself so I write it to relieve my feelings.

GEORGE: Thank God we both understand each other, and I think it really unnecessary for me to tell you how deep my love for you my darling is and I feel it growing stronger and stronger every time I see you; although I may appear shy and cold.

The rest, of course, is history. George married May in 1893 and in 1910 they succeeded to the throne as King George V and Queen Mary of Teck. In between ruling the colonies with a rod of iron (George), amassing a small fortune in fabulous diamonds (May), and wearing some of the era's most luscious fashions (both) the two of them remained as deeply in love as ever. When George took a dive in a newfangled invention named a submarine, May, standing on the Portsmouth quay, could not repress a passionate effusion of concern:

"I shall be very disappointed if George doesn't come up again."

ALSO May had a dollhouse that was a miniature copy of their home! The library contained VERY TINY BOOKS by literary luminaries such as Oscar Wilde and Rudyard Kipling! AND over the bed in the main bedroom there was a tiny sign hanging - "May George? - George May." I'm sorry but I love them. I'm not sorry at all for all the grand silly fun I had writing them both in Miss Sharp's Monsters. Though I'm afraid that at no stage was the real Princess May impersonated by a clever clockwork automaton containing a bomb intended to blow up Queen Victoria. I made that part up.

[mdhwrites]

I don't know if you've watched Gravity Falls or been deep in the fandom but I just realized how similar Luz and Mabel kinda are. They're both young quirky girls whose selfish actions helped the main villain achieve their goal (supposedly, in Luz's case) and learn the lesson of facing reality instead of being stuck in a fantasy world where they get everything they want (although Luz doesn't really learn this even though it was kinda set-up for her in s1) (they also have a girl rival with shit parents that the fandom ships them with but anyway-)

I'm not saying this to shit on Luz though, I like Luz. But it mind boggles me how Mabel gets shitted on way more than her does despite being younger, actually learning her lesson, and apologizing for it. It might because they're different shows but I know a lot of TOH fans were/are GF fans because of the creators' relationship so the fandoms aren't that different from one another. It MIGHT be because Mabel trusted Blendin so easily despite the situation being shady as hell (while Luz just thought Philip was a normal human in the demon realm) but to be fair, Mabel was cornered in a moment of vulnerability and she literally didn't even know what she was giving him. Abandoning her friends and family for her own fantasy land while an apocalypse going on was really horrible, I won't deny that, but Luz also pretty much did the same when she chose the demon realm (place she doesn't know anything about with STRANGERS) over her own world in the first episode. Sure there wasn't anything horrific going on in the human realm so her ignorance of it wasn't as bad as Mabel's– BUT THEN in TTT she thinks of leaving everyone behind by staying in the human realm while the Collector was doing who knows what???

I don't know, this might be kinda petty, I haven't rewatched GF in ages, but I just think it's unfair Mabel gets more hate than Luz. I feel she's had more character progression compared to the latter and at least she always got called out when she did something wrong and learned from it.

So take all of this with a grain of salt because while I've heard a little of this discourse, I haven't watched a lot of Gravity Falls (recently tried again and found myself not loving the first episode if I'm honest) and have never been a part of its fandom. However, this is a chance to talk about why Luz is so liked and 'relatable' to so many because it is not hard to figure out why people like Luz. Why? Well... A lot of it comes down to framing and how the two shows see the two girls.

Gravity Falls sees Mabel as a tweenage girl.

The Owl House sees Luz as the embodiment of what a teenage nerd wishes they were/could be.

Those are VERY different goals and framing.

One, Mabel, is going to be INCREDIBLY fallible. Neither her or Dipper are anywhere close to perfect people because... Well, they're teenagers. They get way too into certain things. They're awkward when it comes to those obsessions. They're awkward about how to deal with change, consequences, etc. like that because that's just the age they are. They're figuring out the world and are going to run face first into it and that will be awkward, clumsy and often destructive without any sort of excuse besides they didn't think the consequences through. That's kids for you.

The other is... More idealistic. Luz doesn't face real consequences for testing her boundaries and is always bailed out. When she fucks up, she always does it with the best intentions and/or no one actually gets hurt. People coddle her and always make concessions to her desires with minimal push back and always end up on her side unless they're just a REALLY big meanie head. She always makes peoples' lives better, she never gets real criticism or ridicule for her interests and is always accepted by the right people for those interests. Always given more and more for being her quirky self!

A lot of this for Luz is because she's an audience surrogate and TOH wants the audience to feel good about themselves. It knows that a lot of nerds will be the ones watching it and leans in. This is actually contrasted by the fact that, well, Mabel isn't the audience surrogate or the absolute primary character of Gravity Falls. Her role is more complicated versus Dipper who IS the nerdy one who's closer to being the audience surrogate.

Just to really drive this home: People on my Discord have talked about this and one of the biggest 'crimes' as seen by a lot of the fandom is that Mabel causes Dipper to lose out on his dream of researching with Ford and staying in Gravity Falls. I could even see some arguments of things like "He's planning a future!" or "He's making the world better!"

But... Let's shift the framing for a moment from "Mabel caused Dipper to give up on his dream" to "Mabel made sure Dipper chose reality over fantasy." After all, his desire was to throw away his friends, his family, EVERYTHING to just continue hanging out with this one old dude and studying the weird phenomenon of the world, an inherently isolating job. He gets to go on this big adventure and follow his intellectual drive... At the cost of reality and everything he has known.

So why don't people get upset at Dipper for trying to do this? Well, there's a lot of potential reasons that I can't really narrow down without watching the show. It may have just been framed as a positive while Mabel's is framed as negative. It could be that while Mabel's is just a generic, girly fantasy that not much of the core audience actually wants, Dipper's is the cool, smart fantasy that is totally not just a fantasy, but a CAREER. Or it could go back to the root problem: Because Dipper is closer to the audience surrogate, closer to the main character, there is a bias to inherently see his actions as good. We could literally watch two characters do the same thing and we will root for the main character simply because that is who we are trained to root for.

A great example of this from TOH is how Luz is allowed to get mad at people for lying to her but not the other way around. She literally attacks Eda and gets the two captured in Titan, Where Art Thou? because Eda lied to her and she is supposed to feel justified in this anger to make the tragedy angle work. Meanwhile, there is ONE time when anyone gets mad at Luz for lying and honestly, the framing and reactions cause it to end up feeling much more like it was just for a prettier scene change during Reaching Out. After all, Amity still wants to fix Luz's pain before Luz even apologizes for breaking her word by lying. So why doesn't anyone call out the hypocrisy here? Why is NO ONE allowed to get upset with Luz about this?

Because she's the main character. Because we are trained to root for her and, well, Luz also is the one we are told to want to be. She is the every nerd. She is meant to connect to a very wide net of outcasts who feel like they don't belong and wish things were different. Wishes people weren't mean to them or didn't get mad at them when they made mistakes. That just let them be the hero of their own story.

So of course, they don't want Luz to be yelled at, even when that is the actually human and reasonable thing for someone to do. They don't want to question what she does so when the show gives them an excuse, or they have to go to reality if the show itself doesn't give an excuse (This is why people emphasize Luz's age and nuerodivergence to excuse her while bluntly ignoring Mabel's age when it comes to her actions), so that they don't have to recognize that Luz does some REALLY shitty things, especially in the back half of the show. It is simply more convenient for the narrative they want out of the show for Luz to be this way.

And that is okay from a casual standpoint. A lot of fiction is escapist. There's nothing wrong with wanting to jump into a world where you're never actually wrong and never in trouble. Where your angst is always met with hugs and understanding rather than actual human emotion. That's how media works. Most mass appeal products are escapist. It's part of why the Isekai genre is SO prevalent right now because it is one of the purest forms of escapist fiction out there, especially due to modern isekai tropes.

But if you're going to talk critically about something, escapism is very rarely a good jumping off point for it. It will make you ignore a LOT about the work because it's uncomfortable for you to ask questions about it. I'm not talking about "Why does this world have magic" sort of things mind you. I'm talking about, say, "Why does this character get so many power ups, so easily, and with little effort in earning them?" When you want escapism, the pacing won't bother you. If you're actually looking at themes and payoffs, it will bother you a LOT. And yes, this does tie into TOH because if you want to be Luz, getting the glyphs feels great! If you actually interrogate the story, you go "Wait, they hadn't actually done like... ANYTHING with her not having magic in a magical world and she already gets a spell? And two of these spells she does literally nothing for. Arguably three since she is put into timeout as a punishment and gets the glyph I guess for being a bad person." That TOTALLY is good storytelling and makes sense with positive themes and proper explorations of its own ideas.

*sigh*

It's a rough push and pull and it can make it so people, even if they like the show, who disagree with the popular opinion, the one that usually lifts up the audience flattering elements the most, are just in a rough position where they hear the same opinions over and over again. All while knowing that if they speak up, they'll be stomped on.

Just like Mabel was while Dipper was raised into the spotlight. At least by the fandom.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn��t pay much.

[amongthe141]

The Giver - Chapter 1

By: @amongthe141

Fandom: Call of Duty Video Game

Chapters: 1/?

Characters: Y/N female reader, John Price, Frank Woods, more 141 to follow

Tags: Slow burn, Captain John Price x fem!reader, first ever shared writing...eek, sorry for grammar or lack of edits I tried, starts 2019 remake universe, yes I made Frank Woods look like a Santa and not sorry, w

Summary: Y/N is introduced to Captain John Price via Frank Woods and Y/N's life is about to become...more complicated.

Words: 1586

The knock on the door should have been promptly replied back with a bark somewhere to the tune of "...the hell you want" from the eighty some old senior man purposely sitting within the walls of his room in isolation.  Whether it was for peace or reliving of fading memories but in the case of Retired Master Sergeant Frank Woods it was more likely choosing to avoid the realization that he was old when the other residents and staff constantly make one such has himself remember it on the daily.  There were those who Woods allowed acceptance to enter freely…the evolution of his bark differs greatly from the first day he resided to now…the bark wasn’t so much as a bite if it was one of the favored few, which Y/N could be counted as one of them, if not the top tier of them.  It wasn’t an easy achievement but one with a bit of patience and a bit of stubbornness Y/N was able to conquer.  It also helped that Y/N and Woods were the troublemakers under this roof when they set their minds to it.  This is why the absence of this familiar greeting put her on edge and her breathing hitched in concern.  

The next group of knocks were louder, though knocking loud was always a must for any resident under this household because their hearing is shit if they were normal  but they weren't. These men who lived here at this privatized retirement home had extra damage to their ears from enemy explosions, recanting to  Y/N's ears in downtime storytelling or reasoning as to why their screams would wake her up at night from constant night terrors. So this last extra loud knock on Frank Woods door should have had him absolutely hysterical at her even to somewhere deep down finding superpowers to strengthen his bad knees to walk out of his bound chair to rock across his room to open the door to relay such hysterics. But as the seconds ticked and still no reply a moment of fear hit her hard. Many veterans had passed in their sleep here, death was an all too familiar experience since Y/N started five years ago, but she wasn't ready for the stubborn old man that lived to prove what a grumpy old man should be, nor one who relished in the delight of being called an asshole. She would never admit it but he was her favorite person in the converted old Victorian house they called home and Y/N wasn't ready to say an early goodbye or any goodbyes at all. 

Pushing through her fear, the dark stained door opened with an eerie scream from its hinges as the room came to life as the soft glows from the afternoon sun seeped through the countless windows. The same dark stain of the door flowed adjacent to the corners where ceiling and walls and floors  met in this cream colored room that belonged to Woods. Military flags stretched on the walls here and there  as if it was some piece of classic art.  Photos littered in frames or lay about every surface of Frank Wood’s room where there were hardly any surfaces left,  unlike the floor which he needed ample space for his wheelchair to get by. The faces that stared at her back, some she knew of from when Frank allowed himself to tell her tid bits from his past, others were of the younger Frank, a more dangerous yet addictive Woods who didn't give five fucks and would do as he pleased. 

Y/N could see herself getting in trouble with a younger Frank, she already did with the senior version ever since he first stepped within these hallowed halls (yes, he was a younger old man then… too proud to submit as the new guy lifebound eventually for his wheelchair) into the retirement house with other old geezers (his words at the beginning, not Y/Ns, never hers). 

Y/N had been in this room a million times, could tell you where everything was and should be, but in the first moments of entering  her fear made it all seem like a stranger's room instead as her eyes reluctantly stared at the empty but made up bed. One area cleared but…, what if he fell off the bed and was behind it? A sigh from Y/N released as again another spot cleared after as she approached closer to the bed to see to the other side. Y/N shifted the large ice bucket in her grasp as carrying the terror of finding him dead in the room subsided. Before asking "but where the hell was he" a coughing fit of laughter snuck in like a cool breeze from the screened door and she allowed herself to smile a silly smile as she shook her head, the bottles in the bucket clinking against each other as if rejoiced the location was given away to where a very live and fiery Woods would be. Y/N quickly crossed across the room and  pushed through  the reluctant screaming screen door that led out to the covered patio with her free hip,  she couldn't help but  tilt her head as she stared at Woods and his unexpected guest.

"Y/N!" Frank mustered to say when he was able to speak instead of cackle (it's what Y/N used to describe the coughing fits most life smokers end up getting) "Where the hell have you been?"

"Working very hard apparently being your bar wench" she said playfully as she went about carefully placing the basket of chilled beer on the table between Woods and his guest, who stood up as a bulky tower over the two of them to help her set it down very gentlemanly…probably a beer enthusiast as Woods where no drop of spilt beer should fall! He waited for Y/N to lean against the arm of the only free chair before sitting back down "Well this is certainly unexpected".

It wasn't till he spoke did she actually make eye contact with this man. Maybe it was the British accent that gave it clearly away that he wasn't a relation to Woods (as if any did visit if there were any) , perhaps the mutton chops of a beard adorning his face peppered with graying and light patches of hair teasing his age, or perhaps the beanie that bound his hair underneath…Y/N stopped processing every little detail of the man in her brain to jumpstart the point that his clear ocean blue eyes had her hooked, lined, and smitten and very much addicted instantly. Woods leaned over and passed him a cold one before jabbing one at Y/N’s closest though before taking his own, breaking her concentration on purpose but more likely for the urgency to enjoy a cold one.  

Y/N smiled before twisting the cap off as Woods unceremoniously hit the cap off the side of the wheelchair’s many metal perks, deeping the dent. "What can I say, privatized retirement houses do come with perks" Woods said before downing half the bottle and then nonchalantly introducing "Y/N meet Captain John Price". 

Y/N was greeted with a "Pleasure" and courteous nod with a non-mistaken smirk surrounded by his beard before he continued "When you said Woods you were in a private home, let alone a Veteran one, I indeed was not expecting this to be so…" "Homely". "Exactly".

"Thank you, when my Aunt inherited this place she didn't want it to be a place someone couldn't call home. Most other retirement homes are too hospital-like and…" "Cold". Y/N couldn't help but smile wide at them completing each other’s thoughts, "Exactly. Most have to come to retirement homes involuntarily, if bringing a bucket of cold beer helps then that's what we do." Y/N explained after more small inquiries came from Price that there were 6 other residents at the house. The staff was there 24/7 by shifts or by personal employment by the resident but Y/N was the only other person who resided there full time with her Aunt. "Life functions as a normal everyday household besides the times I get to boss this guy around" Wood’s playful eye roll earns him laugh before Y/N continues. "We make sure everyone makes their appointments, gets their meds, therapy, etc."

"Reliable and recommendable" Price said almost in a prideful tone before Woods snorted "More like lucky. VA benefits and regulations nowadays are death sentences to places like this. You won't be able to find this when you're my age for military men like us, for what we do!" Those words pulled every scar and blemish on Price to Y/Ns eyesight immediately. She's seen them hundred times over on the Veterans who have come and gone. The war battle scars they took home and relive most nights. "I better enjoy it then when I can aye?" A known silence is shared between the men as Woods nods in answer. 

"Well I better go check on things and leave you two at it. Anything needed before I go?" "No, not at this time". "Well if you do, Woods will make sure we know" and she did the same thing she's done a hundred times over with her favorite grumpy old man, no matter the state he was in, it always calmed and reassured him, with that gentle and soft squeeze of her hand on his shoulder incase it was ever the last time to do it. Y/N just didn't know how soon that time was nearing. 

[twoidiotwriters1]

The Curse of Oenone (Leo Valdez xFem!Oc)

A/N: Currently on the road back home having a good time (hopefully bc i sure need it) -Danny Words: 1,952 Series' Masterlist Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

III: I Use The Power of Friendship (Goes Wrong)

Ara's glad to be left alone with the girls. Reyna is an old friend and Annabeth... well, she's like a sister.

As they leave the dining area, Ara remembers what a fun little girl Reyna used to be. Maybe they can find a way to build something, an alliance that will satisfy both sides. She must be careful, though, the last time Ara tried to be the voice of reason, it didn't end well, which brings her back to Nico. 

Gods, she really hopes Lily doesn't know about his disappearance, she's got too much on her plate already.

"Come," Reyna gestures at the girls. "Walk with me."

Ara spent many years telling Nico that Camp Half-Blood was the best place for them, and technically, this place is for Romans, not Greeks, but still... Now she understands why Nico started to disobey her months into her leadership, he'd found New Rome, and he knew Ara was clueless.

How many times had she thought of Lily that way? Lily was too wary, and Ara was all about going big or going home. She'd forced her to participate in flashy plans just because they were easier. Now, standing in the middle of New Rome, witnessing what could be achieved with patience and careful planning, Ara couldn't blame Lily for being exasperated by Ara's approach.

"The harpy Ella..." Reyna says, bringing Ara back from her brooding. "It was a prophecy she spoke. We all know that, don't we?"

"It sounded like a prophecy," Annabeth agrees. "But I've never met Ella before today, and I've never heard those lines exactly."

"I have," Reyna sighs. "At least some of them—"

Argentum, Reyna's automaton dog, starts barking when some kids gather around to play with it. Leo hasn't seen Reyna's dogs yet, but Ara wants to take them onto the ship so he can take a look.

"You have a beautiful life," Ara says. "And you built it with hard work, I respect that."

"When we met, you were just an Aphrodite," Reyna smiles a little. "You don't sound like one now, but it shows."

"You should see her when she's with Leo," Annabeth quips.

Reyna turns to her with a raised eyebrow. "The scrawny boy with the curly hair?"

Ara knows what Reyna thinks because it's what most people think. It's what Lily said when she found out: Really? Him? Ara clears her throat. "Anyway..."

"We should move on," Reyna walks forward, and Ara appreciates it.

"We've also met before," Annabeth points out. "You were younger, right?"

"Very good. Percy didn't remember me. Of course you spoke mostly with my older sister Hylla, who is now queen of the Amazons. She left just this morning, before you arrived. At any rate, when we last met, I was a mere handmaiden in the house of Circe."

"We played tag," Ara tilts her head, trying to remember. "You said my teddy bag was cute and I gave you the bag of gummy bears I kept in it. You thought it was funny that I kept gummy bears inside my bear bag."

Reyna smiles openly and Ara feels comforted by it. This teenager had been like her once, a little girl with not much to offer, and her rank had sharpened her edges. Now, Ara is on her way to becoming Reyna, and she doesn't hate what she's seeing.

"Wait," Ara blinks, finally processing what the older girl said. "Your sister is the queen of what?"

Reyna chuckles. "You're a lot like Percy."

This catches Ara off guard. No one ever says that about her—not in a positive way, at least. 

"This is my favorite spot," Reyna announces. "The Garden of Bacchus."

When Ara sees Baccus's statue she lets out a laugh. "You guys got a great involuntary sense of humor..." 

Reyna hums. After a moment, she continues. "I wanted to hear it from you."

"Hear what?" Annabeth asks.

"The truth. Convince me that I'm not making a mistake by trusting you. Tell me about yourself. Tell me about Camp Half-Blood. Your friend Piper has sorcery in her words. I spent enough time with Circe to know charmspeak when I hear it. I can't trust what she says. And Jason... well, he has changed. He seems distant, no longer quite Roman."

Reyna raises a hand to stop Ara before she can argue.

"My dogs determined you're a reliable person, charmspeak and all. You have an honest heart, like your brother, but I brought you here and not him, because you probably know Camp Half-Blood way better than Percy nowadays."

If Ara weren't dating Leo, she'd be crushing on Reyna by now. If the girl keeps complimenting her, Ara's going to apply for Roman citizenship. 

"Well," the girl shares a look with Annabeth. "Where do we start?"

"Guess what!" Nico bounces on his feet. "Something cool happened this morning!"

"You got to ride a pegasus?"

"No!"

"You convinced Percy to play Mythomagic?"

"Better!"

I look around, and that's when I realize my brother isn't by the fountain. He waits there for Annabeth and I before breakfast, even if we don't sit together. Now that our friend is missing, I'm expecting to see him staring at his reflection in the water, sulking or something, but he's not there.

I notice his cabin's door is wide open and my stomach drops. "Where is Percy?"

The young boy smirks. "I helped him sneak out so he could follow Bianca!"

I'm not very strong, but I pull Nico by the neck of his shirt until we're face to face. The sudden action causes him to yelp. 

"Why didn't you wake me?" I whisper in panic.

"H-He told me not to! 'You look after my sister, I look after yours'—I thought it was fair!"

Percy calling me his sister even when I'm not around makes me giddy, but I'm also upset that he's decided to leave me behind without saying a word. It's the first time that he goes on a quest without me, and it stings.

Nico removes himself from my grip, looking guilty. "I wanted to go too, but Percy said I had to stay with you."

I realize I'm not Nico's mentor. I'm just an older version of Nico. We've been left behind by our siblings because they didn't think we were strong enough to keep up with them.

"Does Chiron know?"

"I won't tell on Percy," Nico stands proudly. "I promised I wouldn't."

His devotion to my brother confirms we're the same, so I wrap an arm around his shoulders and guide him to the Athena cabin.

"Alright," I sigh. "It's you and me... That isn't so bad! We'll be a great team. Come on, let's get Lily." 

"If you go to the ancient lands, especially Rome itself, there is something you should know about your mother," Reyna mentions.

Annabeth steps back. "My—my mother?"

"When I lived on Circe's island, we had many visitors. Once, perhaps a year before you and Percy arrived, a young man washed ashore. He was half mad from thirst and heat. He'd been drifting at sea for days. His words didn't make much sense, but he said he was a son of Athena."

"What happened to this demigod?"

"Circe turned him into a guinea pig, of course. He made quite a crazy little rodent. But before that, he kept raving about his failed quest. He claimed that he'd gone to Rome, following the Mark of Athena."

Ara stares at her friend. Annabeth used to confide in her, and now they're both keeping their hands behind their backs, waiting for the other to give the first step. It feels wrong.

"Yes," Reyna continues. "He kept muttering about wisdom's child, the Mark of Athena, and the giants' bane standing pale and gold. The same lines Ella was just reciting. But you say that you've never heard them before today?"

"Not—not the way Ella said them." Annabeth's voice quivers. "Did this demigod—did he explain his quest?"

"At the time, I had no idea what he was talking about. Much later, when I became praetor of Camp Jupiter, I began to suspect."

"Suspect... what?" 

Something explodes behind them, interrupting their conversation. 

"Giants?" Annabeth looks around frantically. "I thought their army was defeated!"

"It isn't the giants," Reyna says tensely. "You've betrayed our trust."

"What? No!"

"Annabeth," Ara turns her around. "The ship!"

The girls run fast to reach the commotion. Ara searches in her pocket and seizes Almighty but she doesn't turn it into a sword yet, she has to try and de-escalate the situation first.

Jason and Piper are fighting side by side. Percy, Frank, and Hazel are all together. Only one person is missing.

"Leo!" Ara hurries to the Argo II. A group of demigods approaches her menacingly, and she uses charmspeak. "Drop your weapons!" 

They obey her at once. Percy shouts her name, so Ara elbows the soldiers out of her way. She arrives at the same time as Annabeth.

"Girls!" Her brother scowls. "What—?"

"I don't know!" Annabeth exclaims mortified.

"I'll tell you what!" Octavian climbs down the rope ladder. "The Greeks have fired on us! Your boy Leo has trained his weapons on Rome!"

Ara rushes past the crowd again, dodging attacks from pretty much all around her. 

"I was just there!" Octavian continues. "I saw it with my own eyes!"

The girl reaches the ladder and jumps, kicking Octavian out of her way. She climbs fast, yelling Leo's name hoping he'll answer. She finds him near the ballista, and he is shooting. 

"Leo, stop!"

The girl doesn't use charmspeak at first, she never uses it on her loved ones, not since Nico. Besides, Leo usually stops when Ara tells him to, but not this time.

"Enough!" Ara grabs him and the boy stumbles back. She cups his face. "Leónidas!"

In his eyes, she sees a flash of something that reminds her of Luke. She moves away from him as soon as it happens. Ara decides to take the ammunition out from the ballista, and that's when the boy reacts. He yanks her back by the cloak, tossing her against the railing.

"Get out of the way," he says numbly.

Ara's on the ground when Percy and Annabeth reach the deck. Percy doesn't hesitate before attacking Leo, tackling him to the ground. Annabeth helps her up. 

"What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know!" Ara gulps, her left side is pulsing. "He's acting weird!"

A dragon lands on deck and drops an unconscious Jason and a stressed-out Piper, then turns into Frank Zhang. Percy drags Leo away. "Girls, get us out of here!"

"Can you stand?" Annabeth asks worryingly.

"'Course I can..." Ara groans, struggling to reach the control board and typing away, then pulling the throttle steadily to glide higher.

The crew stumbles back thanks to the change in speed. Ara tells Annabeth to get her dino bag and then orders Percy to tie Leo to the main mast. She has to know what's going on with him before she can let him walk around freely.

"Thanks," she tells her brother once he's done. "Check on Jason, see if you can help Piper with him."

Percy frowns. "I'm not leaving you alone with—"

"That's an order, Percy!" Ara urges him, still pushing buttons and flipping switches.

She doesn't want to be rude, but if Leo wakes up and sees Percy's glare on him again, he's gonna freak out and it's going to make things harder for her. Annabeth returns with the T-Rex and Percy leaves, though he asks Frank and Annabeth to keep an eye on Leo.

Once she stabilizes the ship, Ara grabs her bag and pulls out her bottle of nectar. She crouches in front of Leo and tilts up his face to pour the liquid down his throat. Leo bends forward coughing and she pushes him back against the mast.

"Easy," she speaks gently. "Easy, Leo... what happened?"

"I... I was having a..." His eyes glide across the deck and realization hits him like a ton of bricks. It wasn't a nightmare.

"Leo," Annabeth crouches next to Ara, but she sounds way less chummy. "What is the last thing you remember?"

Next Chapter ->

Taglist.

@siriuslysirius1107 @ask-giggles1303 @asnyox-the-hoarder @im-planning-something-look @bandshirts-andbooks @coolninjapaper @thewaterlily @whenisthefall @1randomcomic @you-bloody-shank @sunflowergraves @owlalex44 @taylordaughter @typicalsolangelolover @writingmia @espressopatronum454 @slytherinnqueen @orbitingpolaris @obxstiles

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

16 + 22 + 23 for Jensen and Bryce!

ah tysm!!!! going into more detail than i need to but idk how much u know ab them. so.

16. how does your OC feel about their parents?

jensen has a very complicated relationship w his mom. his dad wasn't really in the picture after he was 5 or so (when he moved to the states) so it was just him and his mom until he was 15-16 ish when she lost custody. while a lot of people see it as black and white, just accepting she was a "bad" mother, jensen has always defended her bc he knew she was trying her best. and maybe she wasn't all the time, but he had to believe it for his own sake. they struggled a lot bc she really had no plan when she moved them. for many years they bounced in and out of assisted housing programs, friends couches, shelters, and questionable apartments, and it led to a lot of tension and anger and abuse (mainly emotional/verbal). jensen got into some trouble, which blew up into huge issue that ended up w him in juvie for a month (dw, all resolved and his record was sealed bc the incident in no way warranted that amount of punishment) which is how she lost custody. they haven't talked since then (despite jensens efforts over the years) and jensen doesn't fully process or get over that relationship until he's in his mid 30s

as for bryce, canonically he has a terrible relationship w his parents. they fucked over a LOT of people where he grew up (property tycoons turned white collar criminals) which completely severed any relationship he had w his community and culture. the second he went to college he cut ties w them aside from a few calls here and there to talk to keiki (his younger sister by 12 years). he's been trying to get as far away from them as possible since then, going to cali for undergrad/med school and boston for residency. canonically he ends up talking to his mom when keiki unpromptedly comes to live w him bc he can't exactly afford to take on a child, and another time during book 3. in my hc, he never has a strong relationship w his mom or dad again. he talks to them when he needs to for keiki, and tries not to start shit, but he really has no desire to rekindle a relationship w them (but ESP his dad as he always put more pressure on him when he was younger, which meant A Lot of fights and arguments). he ends up being close w an aunt on his mom's side, but that's ab as close as he gets to ever having a relationship w any parental figures

22. what is holding your OC back to achieve their goals?

both bryce and jensen are very committed to achieving their goals (they are both generally regarded as cold and pushy by others in their field/year) but ofc they have obstacles

bryces is his confidence. he is so used to doing everything right and perfect that the second one small thing goes wrong he crumbles. it's seen a couple times in canon, and truly he freaks out if something goes wrong and it's his fault. jensen helps him work through it (in a very point-blank jensen way) but it's always hard for him to learn from mistakes bc he is completely in denial that he can make them

honestly jensen is in his own way a lot? he pushes himself hard. to the point where he needs to take a break but won't acknowledge it until he's going to die, or at least feels like it (but even then he's good at ignoring it). he locks in on one goal to the point of ignoring everything else he needs to focus on. he's just not great at balance. and at the same time, he has a lot of anxiety and depression and ocd and undiagnosed autism that has always felt like a hurdle he had to go over. he's always felt that things are 10 times more difficult for him than they are for everyone else, and he never knew why. but he's also never let himself acknowledge it or slow down to accommodate himself. there's just very few times in his life that he's slowed down enough to consider himself as a factor in reaching his goals

23. what are your OC’s biggest flaws and biggest strengths?

(vibrating in my seat ab this one. oh bryce the lies im ab to spill ab you) bryces biggest flaw is that he is so committed to the image he's made of himself. bryce was thrown into life w no idea what he was doing, so it was a lot of guesswork. to combat that, he has developed this perfectly carefree, confident, egotistical, and arrogant image of a person that has pushed him to the top of his class and his profession. he essential faked it till he made it. and in a way, that is his biggest strength, too. he pushed through so much bs just by pretending he was okay until he was that honestly, people believed it. but the second something happens that's out of his control? something that completely disrupts the front he has built and perfectly molded for years? he fucking loses it. lots of breakdowns, lots of depressive episodes, he just can't handle it. and it takes him a while to pick himself back up, and sure, he will, but it's the massively unpredictable stuff that makes him stagnant for days, weeks, months on end

jensens biggest strength is that he is resilient as fuck. it has a lot to do w him just growing up poor, but also bc again, he does not make space to accommodate himself. he will push and push through so much shit until he gets to a space where he can allow himself to be comfortable. but, his biggest flaw is that he is convinced he isn't resilient. he has been there for every fuck up, every rock bottom, and every point of no return. he feels that the bad has outweighed the good, as if theyre on a scale at all. again, this has a lot to do w the undiagnosed autism, but he has always felt like there's something different about him in a way that he had to "fix". that makes it difficult for him to do things "right". eventually he starts to learn and grow from this, and can acknowledge that actually, yeah, he HAS endured a lot of bs that he hasnt just unpacked yet. but it has just always been in the back of his head in a way that weighs him down a lot

[luchicm04]

lost in the forest - part 23

Masterlist

Summary: It seems her destiny is to give a bad impression to the four most powerful people in the world.

Pairing: Senju Tobirama/Original Female Character

Tag: #lost in the forest fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: 3.4k

Overall warnings: canon-typical violence, adult content, time skips, angst, kidnapping

The promised day is one where the sun has set, showing how cloudy this season is. The excitement has been running high as the hours pass and the smell of freshly cooked food completely fills the compound.  

The elderly women have begun to make the final adjustments. The younger ones decorate the facades very differently from the time the Uzumaki arrived, not as ostentatious, but modestly.  

Karen still sees the difference and tries not to think too much about the political stress, common tensions with this unexpected turn to demonstrate peace with the enemy.  

“Wow... they have applied themselves,” the civilian does not avoid mentioning while carrying some bread alongside a rather tense Masarato, as part of the younger ones have the job of being waiters. “Masarato-kun?” She questions, not hearing any response.  

“Uh? ...emmm... yes?” He clumsily adds with a hard blink in her direction as they walk between the important corridors of the village. The people continue passing by, so busy in their work and tense with different chaotic thoughts that it is visible for being shinobi.  

She assumes it is because they are within their territory, one that just in the afternoon will be visited for the first time by a former enemy clan.  

It is difficult to achieve peace... and even more to overcome everything they have been through in this war.  

“Are you okay?”  

“I...”  

“Masarato-kun,” she sighs to stop her pace and look into the eyes of the person who looks extremely affected. She had been putting it off, giving him space to tell her, but today he looks so tired. “You don’t have to carry this alone, you know? You can talk with me.”  

“I do not want to bother you.”  

“I know, this is hard for you and many people,” she easily states, squeezing the boy’s shoulder with her unoccupied hand. “This is difficult to continue.”  

“I just... I do not know why they have to come,” he expresses with a bit of betrayal and pain that comes out of his mouth for the first time. He sees his mistake and covers his mouth. “I am sorry... I do not... I trust Hashirama-sama.”  

“I know you trust him, he is your tutor and a good leader,” she accepts with agility. “But it is alright to express what you feel... to be able to work on your feelings and not let it affect you.”  

“You are a civilian...” He looks surprised by what the young man says, embarrassed by the difference in status that it surprises the woman when he just leaves her alone.  

Karen stares at nothing for a few seconds, and sighs to look at the basket of bread with a hollow feeling in her stomach. Maybe she should talk to Mikami about it... she feels worried about the boy.  

She’ll have to work more on it. Not that she’s a therapist, but sometimes just talking is enough.  

She doesn’t like how they are taking this peace... and she hopes nothing bad happens.  

──

Tobirama turns out to be more annoying as the hours go by. She talked about what happened with Masarato to a Hashirama who is surprisingly nervous.  

“Will he be okay?” She decides to ask, interrupting what would be a list of cares that the shinobi has no qualms about throwing at her with little tact or kindness.  

As if she were a stupid, slow-learning girl.  

She hates this position and although she knows he fought with his brother about why she should show up at the event, he hadn’t said anything to her since that day leaving the garden... and if he doesn’t mention it, she won’t either.  

“Mmmm...” The albino gives her an intimidating gesture with his arms crossed. That room looks tense. “He will be fine.”  

“He looks very nervous.”  

“I will be with him.”  

“I see,” the woman sighs with certainty of his words, because it would be a shame if due to her nervousness, everything went to waste and was leveraged by the councilors, who she is sure would take advantage of this mistake to nominate someone else and continue with this war.  

“Did you hear what I said?” The man scolds with a frown.  

“I think you’re exaggerating with your cares... and what happened to me that night won’t happen again,” she repeats bitterly from such a memory. Karen doesn’t want to turn around to see who judges her as always.  

So unbearable.  

“You are a gullible civilian. You do not learn, right?”  

“For God’s sake, I’m not stupid.”  

“Are you sure?”  

“You’re an idiot. Haven’t they told you before?”  

“You are the only person who says that... to my face,” he warns with a hint of threat in his voice.  

“I’m not taking it back.”  

“Tch... just because...”  

“You can’t kill me,” she smiles, proud of her position, although after this time of living together, she is more than sure she will not be murdered... at least, not by the Senjus.  

“What if I fail?” Out of nowhere, Hashirama comments, emerging from his silent stress, which makes both of them blink in attention at the one who had remained in a worried silence.  

“You won’t fail,” Karen mocks, approaching to squeeze the shoulder of the person who is leaning on his desk. She sees some wrinkles typical of his state, which makes her feel a little committed to making him feel better. “I’m sure you’ll succeed in this. We’ve already passed the difficult part.”  

“What follows is not easy,” Tobirama states with an annoyed gesture, almost distancing her from his brother. “So, do not say stupid things.”  

“Jerk” is the only thing Karen says to look at the blinking leader. “I know you are more than capable of carrying this. Your dream is not that far away, and I know good things will come out of this.”  

“You have already said it before,” Tobirama frowns as always. Doesn’t he have another gesture?  

“I know, but Hashirama needs to remember that flame, his will... many people expect that,” the civilian comments without moving from her spot.  

The older brother just blinks with a guilty gesture. “I... I’m sorry for being so anxious... in front of you.”  

“It’s normal. You can be a leader, but you’re still human,” the woman explains calmly. “When I’m nervous and anxious, I usually do exercises to relax, since holding a meeting in that state can be chaotic... and I know this time there is no marketing project at stake,” she mutters to herself. “Forget it,” she discards.  

“Relax?”  

“Yeah. You know, letting go of your worries a little so you don’t get so tense, and it helps you think clearly.”  

“He is the leader, do not put idiotic things in his head,” Tobirama scolds.  

“Come on, I’m just going to do something that will work,” Karen sighs, not wanting to fight with someone who is very hard-headed. “Look, Hashirama. Close your eyes, breathe and exhale continuously. Empty your mind.”  

“We are shinobi,” Tobirama frowns.  

“It’s true. I cannot let my guard down,” the older man easily accepts.  

“I know you are, but... don’t you really relax?”  

“Do not be stupid,” the albino comments.  

“Look, turn around,” she ignores the albino to walk past Hashirama. She hadn’t realized that she had been moved so far away from him.  

“What are you doing?”  

“A relaxation exercise.”  

Hashirama blinks a little, and then sighs and accepts. Tobirama looks reluctant, but in the face of a silent warning from his brother, he remains quiet. “What will you do?” He feels tense, anxious to leave his back in charge of someone who is not his brother.  

At the end of it all, he is a warrior in the full sense of the word, and she sees that he squirms wanting to push her away, but he knows she won’t do anything to him, which makes her stop in that spot.  

“It would be more pleasant if you sat down, you are unfairly tall,” the girl states, seeing that it will be difficult to give him a light massage.  

She doesn’t see the bad side... They are workmates and these guys, although harsh at the beginning, have given her a lot of support.  

Not so much in confidence... but she was worked so hard on this peace.  

Hashirama does as requested. “Uh... Karen?” He asks when he feels her hands wrap around his neck lightly.  

“Don’t worry, it’s okay.”  

“He is engaged,” Tobirama shoots easily, grabbing her shoulder to pull her away.  

She frowns at such an action. “It’s just a massage. I’m not proposing.”  

“It is not ladylike to touch a man like you did.” The albino looks irritated in his own way, although his face shows nothing. The red eyes look incredulous at said actions.  

Karen remains doubtful. She raises her hands easily seeing that there is a culture clash that she cares little about facing now. “I’m sorry, I just... I thought it could serve to help him relax... Hashirama?” She asks to where the man is, whose face she cannot see.  

He doesn’t turn around and has his hands covering his face.  

“Go away,” Tobirama orders.  

“Huh?”  

“Go get ready. The Uchihas will not take long to arrive.”  

“But...”  

“I’ll be fine... t-thank you,” Hashirama awkwardly adds without turning to see her, with a strange tone that makes her feel like she did something wrong again.  

Perhaps she thought they were too close.  

“Fine,” the woman accepts without understanding exactly what happened, so she turns around without looking back, with the warm sensation of the skin of a tense Hashirama. If she had paid attention, she would have noticed his ears so red that out of foolishness she ignored them.  

Karen just continued with her routine.  

Until the time came.  

──

Madara is a tall man, though she notices that he is slightly smaller than his Senju counterpart. She sees him arrive with a huge committee of several members of his clan.  

There is tension between the two groups that look strange.  

“Wow, this will go down in history.” Karen takes a step right in the middle of both parties, ready to assume her presence at the point and break the silence. She is sure they are only waiting for whoever will throw the first blow.  

So, she claps her hands to get their attention. “I am glad you came, Uchiha-san. It is a pleasure that you came so punctually with your group, the Senju clan has prepared a lot to receive you.”  

The man is intimidating up close, but she’s dealt with a bad Tobirama, so she feels he’s not that much, just too sullen and serious.  

“Saucedo-san,” Madara greets with her last name used formally... as the noblewoman who was introduced by Hashirama and whose name of her ‘house’ was mentioned by the Daimyo when he stated that she would be the one who would present at the event to ensure this does not go to ruin.  

“Uchiha-san,” the woman greets with a slight bow.  

“I’ve never seen a noble bow,” she hears his brother’s whisper in a sullen tone.  

“Izuna,” Tobirama warns from his place.  

“It’s alright,” Karen suddenly finds herself saying before the gaze of both sides. The women of the clan are in the background, along with the children and the elderly, waiting for this to explode. “It is normal for him to have doubts. I suppose that not many nobles do that.”  

“No... they don’t,” the youngest of the Uchiha brothes comments.  

“Izuna,” Madara warns. “Saucedo-san, you are neutral. Then tell me, why do you live with the Senju?”  

“I am neutral, in favor of the ceasefire.”  

“Ceasefire?” She sees the doubt in Madara because of the choice of words.  

“It’s when we stop attacking each other... not exchanging blows and being at peace,” Hashirama explains, coming out f his silence after giving Tobirama a warning. “I’m glad you came.”  

“Mph... so idealistic,” Madara mocks, ignoring the albino’s murderous glare to affirm taking a step. “And so insolent... as always.” A laugh lightens the atmosphere.  

Hashirama smiles, remembering something. “And I’m glad you’re just as annoying. These years have not changed you.”  

“No, they haven’t changed us.” Outside the rest of the clan, she sees that despite Madara’s bitter tone, he sees some kind of friend in Hashirama, something that will facilitate the matter of peace.  

“I’m glad to hear that,” Karen smiles slightly. “That at least the leaders want to achieve this.”  

“It’s worth it,” Hashirama looks a her with a smile. “Our dream,” he states, looking at the person who is still bitter right in front of him, comfirming it with his hand that is roughly taken by an Uchiha who neither affirms nor denies anything.  

“It is,” he simply says with his eyes lit, as if wanting to keep this era for himself.  

“Well... are you hungry?” Hashirama questions to look at those behind with their different bitter faces. The Senjus do not say anything, reinforcing that this is part of their leader’s extravagant attitude, thus starting a dinner that, although tense...  

It’s remarkable. The first of many, she hopes.  

──

Karen looks at the glass of sake right in front of her. Madara is sitting next to her with a strong gaze. She is in the middle as part of her position as mediator for both leaders.  

“I’m not much of a drinker.”  

“You are a noble, but you are in this. You should do it,” without any tone of kindness, the Uchiha leader irks with a slight arch. “As an affirmation of peace.”  

“Uh... I don’t like it very much.”   

“Then, I will take it as a disdain,” the Uchiha comments.  

“Madara,” Hashirama calls out from his place. “If you don’t want to drink, don’t do it.”  

“It’s not a request and you know it. She’s part of this, you said it. So, she should celebrate with us.” Madara looks stubborn for some reason.  

“She is a noble, she can’t drink,” the Senju frowns, looking intensely at who is trying to force her to toast with them. Everything stops for a few seconds.  

Killing intent floods the place, almost ready to throw a kunai if this were taken as an insult to one of the leaders. Karen only feels the need to run because of the type of looks that changed in a matter of seconds.  

From kind and mocking in their different styles to hostile... and all because of her.  

So, she makes a decision. She raises the glass and drinks it all at once, feeling the heat burning her throat with a touch of elegance that she must continue to feign. She gulps, doing so with her taste buds dying in seconds.  

She doesn’t like drinking, but she accepts for this treaty. “For peace,” she raises the empty glass towards the people who were looking strangely at her performance. Why did she sit in front of everybody? ...ah yes, she’s the mediator.  

“See? It wasn’t difficult,” Madara mocks, taking the bottle to serve carelessly.  

“I don’t want more,” Karen complains with an audible and dignified sigh from her spot.  

“For peace... you said, right?” She sees that Madara is not just a sullen and tough shinobi, but also finds amusement in her poor position...  

“If you don’t want to, don’t drink it.” Hashirama stays at her side, glaring at who looks at him challengingly. She gulps thickly, seeing that this won’t be easily disregarded, so she takes the glass again before it escalates again to a meaningless discussion.  

She’s never drunk before. She sees the tension in Tobirama’s jaw, just two seats away from her, as each glass poured is simply sipped before someone comments on something that could break the agreement.  

A noble does not behave like that... but for peace and this hard work, she will. “I think you have endured well,” Madara snorts after a few glasses later.  

Although she swears there were many... Hashirama has counted them, and it did not exceed four.  

“Uh...” She has a slight hiccup that she can’t hide behind her sleeve. The lustrous yukata she wears for this event helps prevent her sense of smell from ruining this moment.  

Karen, long ago, began to see the world rotate freely. Is this what it feels like to be drunk? “Karen?” Hashirama looks worried.  

“I-I’m fine,” she avoids slurring her words, smiling softly behind her sleeve. “But I think that’s enough.”  

“Really?” Madara looks amused, almost starting to pour again.  

“Yes. If you don’t want me to barf part of the food... it’s better to stop this challenge, Uchiha-san.”  

“Oh... she’s honest.”  

“Of course I am... and I assure you, I will send you a letter complaining about my hangover tomorrow,” she warns with a light tone that tenses the man due to the type of face she makes, almost intimidating... could it be? Judging by the silence, yes.  

Madara breaks into a clean laugh. “Wow, she is a proud noblewoman.”  

“I am.”  

“Karen?”  

“I’ll be fine, Hashirama... now, if you’ll excuse me, I think that because of a certain Uchiha... I’ll have to leave.”  

“So direct...” The enemy leader does not seem bothered by the way she addresses him.  

“I can’t hide the obvious.”  

“You look good... for not knowing how to drink.”  

“I maintain my dignity... Uchiha-san... something notable in us civilian nobles,” she smiles softly to get up. It takes a little longer and if it weren’t for the hand on her waist of a worried Hashirama, she would surely fall.  

Madara is still on the other side, also holding her back with the certainty that she would fall.  

“I’ll be fine,” Karen assures with a light sigh, standing up to her height, but she feels the world moving and she wants to throw up everything she had for dinner.  

Tobirama is the one who comes to her aid, taking her by the arm to guide her out of the grip of both leaders. “I will take care of it.”  

“I’m sorry to retire like this... and thank you for not letting my dignity fall to the ground,” she mocks her state. Madara laughs amused at the look of Hashirama, who sighs negatively to silently observe his brother, who nods slightly.  

She leaves. She walks upright for a long time going through the corridors, greeting some tense Senju and apologizing to some Uchiha who see her now so different from before.  

Could it be because of their leader's attitude? It could be, and when she is sure that only Tobirama is accompanying her, she doesn’t avoid running to a nearby bush and vomiting everything she had in her stomach. The albino did not even come to help her when she was stuck in that place.  

Her mind is not so clouded and the smell is not pleasant.  

A glass of water taken from who knows where is given to her by Tobirama. She takes it lightly and her world continues moving... hadn’t the alcohol been ejected? She doesn’t think so. She feels that she is lifted... she doesn’t complain and feels her head beginning to kill her from the effort of throwing out everything.  

There is silence. She stays leaned like that. “Was it worth it?” She asks her assistant when he leaves her on the bed. She settles down, taking off the sandals and doesn’t even bother to put on something to sleep.  

“It was.”  

“...”  

“You are a fool... you know that, right?”  

“And you’re an idiot,” she sighs without paying attention to who is looking at her. “Tomorrow I’ll have a hangover,” she complains.  

Tobirama doesn’t say much. He stays at that spot for a while, watching her carefully, as if this were necessary to make sure nothing would happen to her. Strange, considering that he doesn’t like her.  

Bot for now, she’ll leave it be, since dinner continued until late into the night, with many drunk shinobi and some isolated incidents of different shinobi with a lot of history in their hands.  

Even so, the event was carried out successfully.  

And for the first time... the Uchiha and Senju clans were at the same place, having dinner as if they were allies from a long time ago and not enemies from weeks ago. This meeting was the beginning of a fire of rumors that burned down in a matter of days.  

Many clans were surprised, attentive to each meeting of that clan that took place more continuously, with the ceasefire that started as a light alliance.  

The first step for others to follow the example.  

The beginning of a great village... one that only began out of curiosity and alliance.  

The clans looked and were surprised... wanting that peace for themselves too.  

A/N: One to say present! As you will see, things will begin to go to the point where we want to start. Our poor Karen found herself involved in the middle of a tension just out of foolishness and agreed to drink.

It wasn’t the best... and although it left many worried and her with a headache the next day, she feels it was worth it.

She knows it was necessary.

Thank you for the comments.

Author-chan out!

[darkestpsi]

when i say that i like both dabi and shouto i dont mean it in the "oh my god they're so hot i wanna fuck them" kinda way or the "lol they both hate their parents just like me fr" way but that i really do understand how its like to grow up around such tough, hard love. to have your entire worth, the level of care and responsiveness you receive in moments you definitely should not be seeking this constant validation but your fucking veggies and milk - all of that being based off just how useful you can be to your parents; being told that the point of your life quite literally is for the fulfilment of thEIR dreams, in THEIR way, under THEIR supervision, yknow?

like, i can literally not even begin to count the many recordings on loop i have of my mums voice in my head telling me to always be better and to do so much more, be so much more - achieve things, great things and live to just please and please and please - for herself, for her dead mother (who probably doesnt even care about half of the shit that i have done since she passed, because dead people cant feel - they cant feel, but somehow their presence still suffocates), for the status and the level of respect itll give both her and my dad (so that they wont ever be referred to as immigrants again) and the amount of money ill eventually get paid thatll somewhat, somehow all go back to them, anyway.

point is, dropping so suddenly from being so loved and praised and shown off when you were younger and tried your hardest to be that bit better to the broken toy you are now, unable to carry out their tasks - demands, even - easily replaced by someone younger, someone so much better than you; worth so much more than you. when they are born.

idk.

i joke alot about how similar my family dynamic is to the todorokis, the distance between me and my siblings now after all it was that we went through together and how im literally doing medicine for my parents so that they can get their doctor, and i can get my peace, but its very truly something ive had no control over my whole entire life. all ive wanted is some damn control. lmao. my mum literally named me after a doctor she saw on tv who was giving a lecture about medicine and i laugh at the fucking irony of it all because god, you dont even realise that this is fucking killing me, ma- but the thing with touya, the parts of him that diverge from my own experiences is the fact that he was able to break free from all of those restraints secured by his family, the goals they set him, the ones he set himself. the guilt and disappointment and oh my god, how could you -why - why would you regret not being able to meet those expectations and him being thrown aside like everything he ever received was so palpable and fleeting because he was a toy, was always a toy to my mum endeavor. he knew he couldnt compete with shouto. shouto the gifted child. the hero. the hate and anger he feels towatds him, idk, it hits so fucking close to home. but i also see so much of myself in the way shouto is so fucking willing to be the good child, the perfect child, who pleases and pleases and pleases; doing everything he is supposed to without retalliation because thats what hes supposed to do and thats what they want him to do and eventually, someday, somewhere he will get his peace as a hero, because he was "born to be the best", born to be a doctor hero - literally both sides of my personality at war oh my god AAAAA

i literally can not help but attach myself to those characters.

[themosleyreview]

The Mosley Review: The Iron Claw

A film based on a true story can be one of two sides of a coin. On one side, you can focus on the rise and success followed by the glitz and glamour and eventually the hard realities and eventual fall. One the other hand, you can focus on the personal life of the subject and lightly focus on the rise to fame, but push it aside to get more in depth with the subject's family. Well this film sits right on the spine of the coin. Yes it does primarily focuses on the real story of the Von Erich wrestling family, but also glosses over all of their achievements, accolades and stardom rather quickly. You almost don't really get a chance to see why they were considered to be one of the greatest families in the history of the sport. What you do get is the heartbreaking story of a family being led by someone that never left the past and pretty much forced their dream on their sons. What was fascinating is the depiction of the wrestling world almost being a co-antagonist to the life story of the Von Erich’s. The immersion into the psychologocial ramifications of the sport is explored in a sad way that we've seen in many other true stories and it leaves you in a more melancholy state throughout the film.

Zac Efron delivers a stirring and hard hitting performance as Kevin Von Erich. The amount of weight he bares of the family name in the world of wrestling was huge and you see first hand of how he tries to please his father's ambitions. You see the amount of pain he endures from the doubts that are placed upon him. His wrestling matches were the most intense and sometimes brutal and Zac shows great dramatic and athletic prowess. Harris Dickinson was great as his younger brother David Von Erich and I loved that he was the most charismatic one of the family. Harris had the most chemistry with Zac and their conversation in the bathroom scene one was one of their best moments together and his mic skills were excellent. Jeremy Allen White was strong as Kerry Von Erich and loved his dedication. He accurately portrays that desperation to hang on to whatever athleticism he has left after a possible debilitating injury. The amount of sorrow in his eyes was heartbreaking as his story progressed. Stanley Simons was so heartfelt and innocent as Mike Von Erich. He nailed that boyish charm and joy of playing music instead of following the family business. He was truly the most lovable and hardest to watch as he should've never been in the ring. Lily James is always great and she was great as Kevin's love interest Pam Adkisson. The moment Pam and Lilly meet, you could see the sparks between them fly as her flirtation turned into pure love even with Kevin's awkwardness. Maura Tierney was absolutely wonderful as their mother Doris Von Erich. You see the love she has for her family in a fantastic dinner scene. She bears the heaviest amount of emotional weight as the family curse strikes and it was very hard to watch. The stairs scene really hit me. Holt McCallany was great and truly toxic as their father Fritz Von Erich. He was an excellent businessman and the amount of motivation he would give to his sons was great, but horrible at the same time. He never really let go of his dream and became more of a coach and less of a father. Holt nailed that horrific nature of a person past their prime and delivered a performance that is in the lexicon of great villains. Aaron Dean Eisenberg was outstanding as Ric Flair and he nailed his eccentric, larger than life, and villainous persona.

The score by Richard Reed Parry was good when present and added to the heartfelt moments and sadness to the more somber scenes. The wrestling sequences were shot very well and I liked the sort of Creed approach where you are in the ring with the characters. It was immersive and sometimes jarring since the main focus wasn't really about the showmanship. That's where I felt this film lacked. It was a great study on the family, but I think this held back by its runtime. I really wanted to connect a little more with each brother and truly delve into the reason why they were considered one of the greatest wrestling families in the industry. The performances were outstanding across the board and although this may not be the greatest wrestling film ever made, but it sure is up there. Perhaps this would’ve been a better miniseries than a film. Let me know what you thought of the film or my review of the film. Thanks for reading!

[etherealdemon]

L, R, Z — arabella 💖

💕 VALENTINE'S DAY ALPHABET

L — LOVE : who does your muse love?

not aiden jeon arabella doesn't love easily but there are a few people in her life that she knows she loves. the first is samuel. he's literally one of the few people that she'll happily make time for. arabella loves samuel because she always feels so happy whenever she's around him. he always manages to put her in a better mood and he's the only person that she would drop everything for. arabella also loves katie and sees her as a younger sister figure. she also considers katie to be her closest, if not her best friend, and is very protective over her. she loves to go and support katie's films and always tries her best to give her advice.

R — ROMANCE : is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

arabella definitely leans more towards being a cynic. for someone who stars in so many period dramas that revolve around love, it's hard for her to see the world through a romantic lens. arabella prefers to see things realistically. she knows that she'll achieve the things she wants through hard work and not because she simply wished for it. she knows that she got to where she is now through her hard work and not because she was destined for it.

Z — ZZZ : how many people has your muse slept with?

arabella has slept with a few people before she started dating samuel. she's not one to have casual hookups with random people that she'd meet but she did have a couple of brief flings with ex co-stars. arabella had her needs and she preferred to sleep with someone that she at least knew that a random person that she'd never see again (she has standards). a messy situation with one of her co-stars did change her outlook a little bit, that's why she was initially hesitant in pursuing samuel when they first met.

[jyaproject]

JYA STUDENTS BATCH 1-A

Eunjeong longs for...something more. Her mother runs a popular bakery and her father is a police man. She is often percieved as quiet and friendly. She carries her notebook and special pen with her everywhere she goes to jot down song lyrics and is often humming to herself as the inspiration for writing music constantly flows through her. Finally free from the shackles of student life, she yearns to develop her skills and truly find herself despite her mothers urgent pleas to find a good, respectable and stable job.

Jongdae has often been seen as rough and broody and was ostracized a lot in school. His birth mother passed away when he was twelve and after three years, his father got remarried. His step mother always tries her best to befriend him but he often pushes her away. His outlet for his negative emotions comes in the form of rapping and after getting involved in the underground scene while also befriending a group of break dancers, he finds himself torn between the two "factions" so to speak.

Jimin is a former SM trainee who was eventually dropped from the company because they felt he wasn't making enough progress. He was adopted by his Aunt and Uncle (who are rich) at the age of eight when his parents sadly passed away in a house fire. He's a very gifted singer who lacks in confidence but many look up to him due to his outgoing and friendly nature. A good student overall who recieved many praises from his teachers throughout the years. He is very focused on improving his dance skills which is why he chose to audition for JY Academy.

Junseo is the older brother to fellow student Binna. The two siblings are very close and both talented in the art of dance and performing. He is known as "Mr. Sunshine" because of his radiant personality. Due to his family being quite poor, he has taken to working multiple part time jobs to help support his them. His parents are very supportive of him and his sister, who he often busks with and posts various tiktok dances with which have made them quite popular on SNS. He along with Binna were originally discovered by Kay of ELEKTRA, who introduced them to Jaeyoung and were eventually chosen as backup dancers for Kay's solo debut after some short time training at the academy.

Binna is the younger sister of Junseo. She is seen as quite tough but loveable and is talented in both dance and rapping. Her favorite styles of dance are hip hop and popping. Despite her more serious image, she is also very good at cute concepts and is secretly a fan of aegyo. She's quite popular in school and is a leader of her schools dance team. She focuses a lot on making her parents proud of her so she works extra hard on school work, which often leaves her mentally and physically fatigued but she pushes through with the hope of becoming a well known name in the dance industry.

Alli-Mae (birthname: Hatsuda, Haruka) was born in Kochi, Japan but her family immigrated to the United States when she was ten years old. More specifically to New York City, where Alli-Mae attended the Joffrey Ballet School with hopes of becoming a world class ballet dancer. Though she loved it, her parents had forced it on her from a young age and as she grew older, she began to despise it and now was looking to expand her talents elsewhere. She is currently studying at Yonsei, University as an international student and her relationship with her parents has since diminished greatly due to her "rebelling". She dreams of becoming an idol and will do anything to achieve it.

[ibtisttime]

Deprived

Today marks exactly one year since my grandmother died. I remember it all so clearly, obviously, because it hasn't been that long.

I actually was living abroad at that time, and just got home from a beautiful vacation in one of my favourite hotels. I recived a call from my brother, informing me og what happenned, and of course without giving it a second thought I just rushed to the airport. Not because I was devistated of the news or anything. I just knew I had to be there for my mother. I just knew that if I didn't let her rely on me in a time like that, when will I ever be of use to her.

The news was very sad to me yes, even way harder than I imagined it would be. To be honest, I never was so close to my grandmother so I always expected to not be so affected by her death, but damn I was.

Still, I don't think it compares to how everyone else says they feel when losing a grand parent. It wasn't as hard for me as losing my cousin also, but still it was hard. And I did think of her often many many times after it.

About a month ago I went to visit my aunt. I did have a beautiful time there ans she brought up my grandma once. She told me how my grandma used to care for her and for her children so much. that she financially helped her and bought her many things, both for her and for her kids. I never knew about these things but I'm glad she did tell me. It mad remember how painful it was for me to have her as a grandmother.

I never so deeply thought of this but even her is root to many of my insecurities I believe. While she liked everyone else and held them dear to her.She never really cared for me. I remember younger me, about nine or ten years old, wondering why she wasn't as affectionate to me as she was to thers. I even thought it might be my problem, maybe I'm different? And so I tried to copy one of my cousins and went and layed my head on her lap, waiting for her to pat me, but she never did. of course she wouldn't.

I'm so sorry to my little self for making her do that. I wish I could pick her up from that lap that stiffenned because she was there and give her a hug. Giver her all the love she dereves. She was so tin and precious. They were all so unworthy of her.

All that grandmother did to me was compare me to others. always telling me how my haor isn't pretty, how my skin isn't a perfect coulour, how my manners aren't good. She would never miss to bring up how my much older cousin is doing way better than I am. and how I'll never be as good her, I'll always be behind.

I remember the day I finally got a big scholarship in a foreign country, and my mom going to inform her. She didn't like the news one bit. I could feel it, but I ignored it. Bet she wanted me to stay a loser my whole life, bet she wanted that cousin to achieve more than I did.

But I did it grandma, I became the best among both your children and your grandchildren. I became who everyone looks up to. How are you liking it now? I don't know, and I don't care to know. I just wish that maybe in a deep place inside your heart, you cared for me, even if only for a little bit. I will tell myself it was it and you only failed to show it. But always know, because of you, I was deprived of affection. wether you did have it for me or not.

[btsgotjams27]

All Grown Up ~ JJK | 2

✨ title: all grown up | series (completed) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: R/18+ ~ minors dni ✨ genre/au: romance, fluff, angst, friends-to-lovers, humor, banter, smut, age gap, best friends little brother ✨ warnings: noona kink, older woman, younger man, kissing, oral (m,f), unprotected intercourse, significant age gap (9 years), confident Jungkook, cocky Jungkook, bratty Jungkook, crappy mom, but overall Jungkook is the sweetest, most romantic boy who's fallen in love | warnings for each chapter will vary ✨ author's notes: I won't be updating this series on Tumblr. This fic is inspired by the k-drama, Something in the Rain. ✨ author's notes 2: okay, so i do plan on editing the rest of this series! i just don't know when it'll be done. ✨ can also read on AO3 or Wattpad

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] prev | next ✨ jungkook, the boyfriend...?

✨ chapter two ~ walk me home | wc: 2.3k

By the night's end, the two of you were damp from playing around. He asked if he could walk you home and you agreed.

Strolling through Seoul at night with the stars twinkling above was a joy for you. Though you were a night owl, you weren't technically outside at night often. You noticed he made sure to be the one standing closer to the street as you walked together. Conversations with Jungkook seemed effortless. It was like catching up with an old friend, just picking up right where you left off.

"I hear you're a hotshot at work now?" You peered up at him as the two of you walked side by side.

He laughed, "Nah, I don't think I am, but if you wanna say that, sure." He didn't like to brag about his achievements and didn't think it was necessary. He just happened to be good at his work, and people saw his potential. That's how he got where he is today.

"Aren't you one of the top video game animator and designers?" That's a big deal if someone were to tell you that. It was something to be proud of, especially at his young age. You didn't see too many young people as ambitious as he was.

"Are you keeping tabs on me? Got a spy somewhere?" He teased you. He wasn't on social media and if he were, it was only because his friends tagged him in photos or videos. He never saw the point of putting your life on blast for others to see. So, even if you were to keep an eye on him, you weren't able to do so via social media.

You scoffed. "No...my mom told me. She loves to tell me how successful other people are." You always felt as though you'd never be good enough for your mom, no matter how hard you tried. Even growing up, she'd always put a lot of pressure on you.

"And what about you?"

You mumbled, "What about me?"

"Aren't you a successful writer, producer on a TV show?" He smiled, trying to also hype you up, trying to tell you how magnificent you were even though you didn't feel like it.

It's true you were. You had everything going for you, career wise at least, minus the cheating ex-boyfriend. You had your dream job, wanting to tell stories that you had in your head. You had been writing since you picked up your first pencil.

Your latest show received high ratings and it should be something you were proud of. You worked hard and tirelessly on this baby.

"Maybe I worked too much, too hard, and that's why U-jin cheated on me." And your mind was still there. It was hard to shake off how your career played a role in your relationship. Would it do the same in your next one? If there would even be a next one. You loved your career but at what cost?

He could see the sadness in your eyes that you were trying to hide, but you had to admit, the breakup hurt. You thought you were going to marry him, have kids, a house. It's possible you just felt lonely because that comfort and contentment that you had for the last few years was now gone. You needed to learn how to be alone again.

"Noona, what did I make you repeat earlier? I thought you were going to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Do we need to say it again?" He hated seeing you like this. Disappointed, sad, lonely. You didn't deserve this.

"No, please don't make me say it again," you sighed. "I forgot how much you annoyed me." You didn't want another pep talk from him. You were a grown woman, just taking a little time for some self-pity, to feel sorry for yourself before you'd eventually pick yourself back up again.

He chuckled, "Don't you miss it?" He cheekily smiled. That stupid smile made you flutter a little.

You nodded. "Yeah, I kind of do."

"Yah--do you miss him because had a big dic–" Jungkook asked but you stopped him.

You waved your hands at him. "Bup-bup-bup! No, I'm not talking about that stuff with you." It was weird. He was like your little brother. You were not talking about sex with him. And why was that the first thing that came to his mind.

He pouted. "Wha-Why not? I have seen my fair share of boobs. I've had se–"

You acknowledged his answer with a loud 'uh-huh' and walked faster.

"What? I have! You don't believe me?" he cried, trying to convince you of his past conquests or latest conquests.

You turned around. "Oh my whittle baby bunny Kookie, I absolutely believe you." You said teasing him. You were sure a guy that looked like Jungkook definitely didn't have trouble in bed or picking up women. But there was no need to go there in your mind, especially since it was Yuna's baby brother.

"I'm pretty good in bed, so I've been told–"

You looked at him and plugged your ears. "LA-LA-LA-LA. I can't hear you. I don't wanna hear about your sex life."

He gently pulled your hands down from your ears. He softly chuckled seeing how uncomfortable that conversation made you. "Noona, so what if you were successful and busy? That didn't give him the right to cheat on you. You deserve better than that."

Why did he have to go and be all sweet on you? It didn't help with those big twinkling brown doe eyes staring into your soul. His lips looked extra pink and plush tonight, and was now slightly parting into a grin, showing off those perfect bunny teeth. You chuckled to yourself because you forgot he had the chocolate chip mole right underneath his bottom lip, something he named himself when he was younger.

He softly chuckled. "What?"

You smiled bashfully. "Now that I think about it, I don't think you've grown into your nose yet." You reached up to boop his nose and walk away. He stayed behind for a second before catching up to you. He quietly walked beside you with his hands tucked behind his back. The two of you enjoying each other's company.

Clearing your throat, "Enough about me and my sad little life. What about you? How are you? How was living in California?"

"It was great. I enjoyed it so much. The beaches and food were amazing but nothing beats being home. You know?" He flashed another bunny smile at you.

"I'm glad to hear. I think California did a good number on you. Yuna would give me updates every now and then. Didn't you have a girlfriend out there?"

"Oh--yeah, her name was Alex. We broke up when I was moving back."

"I'm sorry to hear that. So, it looks like we're both on the rebound then." You softly chuckled.

"Mhm, yeah looks like it."

"Well, this is me. I would uh...invite you up but uh...I don't know how appropriate that would be."

He laughed and nodded. "Appropriate? What are you gonna do? Seduce me?"

You smacked his chest. "What? No! God, you're so gross. You're such a boy!" You sighed. "I only meant that it's late and someone could get the wrong idea if they saw us or something..." you trailed off, hoping he'd stop teasing.

Jungkook stood in front of you and pinched one of your cheeks. "You're so cute when you get all flustered."

You shooed his hand away. "I'm not flustered, just conscious."

"I mean I don't mind if we 'Netflix and chill," he laughed.

You rolled your eyes. "Goddamnit, Jungkook. Good night." You stomped up the stairs, annoyed at all the sexual innuendos.

He ran after you, grabbing your hand. "Noona–stop. I'm just messing around."

You glared looking back at him. "Night Kookie." A small chuckle left you. "I'll see you when I see you."

He didn't want the night to end just yet, so he kept stalling, trying to think of an excuse for him to stay around. "Um, can I use your restroom? I had too much soju tonight."

You shook your head. He was like a lost puppy wanting you to take him home. You waved your hand for him to follow you. As the two of you were waiting in the elevator, you realized you had left your apartment a mess, with dishes and clothes everywhere. God, you were a grown woman and couldn't even clean up after yourself. What's wrong with you?

You stopped abruptly before opening your door and Jungkook bumped his head on yours. "Ow–" the two of you softly said while laughing, rubbing the spots you just conked your heads on.

"Sorry...just a warning. My apartment is a mess."

He chuckled. "Should I close my eyes while you guide me to the bathroom?"

"Shut up. Come on."

The apartment you lived in for these past few years was a dream find. A colleague of yours was moving out and she told you about her place. You swooped it up before it was even on the market. It was spacious, had a good amount of light that came in, and the view at night was spectacular. You walked in and the light automatically flickered on, revealing the long hallway which led to the living room, kitchen, and dining area.

Jungkook followed you in with wide eyes, trying to take in every detail of your life that he had missed out on these last few years he was away. He slipped off his shoes, trailing behind you. He noticed there weren't too many photos on the walls, just a few of his sister and you, and a few of your family. He assumed you already put away any remnants of your ex-boyfriend.

"The bathroom is in my bedroom, so just walk in through there." You pointed to the door straight ahead of you.

He nodded and proceeded to open your bedroom door. He wasn't sure why you were hesitant to let him in. There were one, maybe two pieces of clothing on your bed, but that was about it. It wasn't messy at all. He quietly observed your room as he walked in, noticing the laptop on your desk, the kind-of dying plants that you probably forgot to water, the calendar hanging on your wall, next to polaroid's of you and U-jin.

"Jerk," he thought to himself.

He looked to his right and found your bathroom. It was quite pretty, he thought, it was very you. The warm color palette made him feel at ease. He noticed a tray decorated with a vase and dried flowers next to a bottle of lavender lotion, it's probably what you smelled like after a warm shower. A small standalone shelf with a few magazines and extra towels finished off the rest of your bathroom.

You walked in your bedroom to see the bathroom door closed. You figured you had about 2 minutes to hurry and change before Jungkook would walk out and see you half-naked. You threw your bag on your bed and ran over to the dresser, looking for a shirt and sweatpants. The sweatpants were acquired. You hurriedly slipped off your jeans and tugged on the sweats, but of course, you forgot you did your laundry and most of the shirts you loved were still drying.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

The door handle from the bathroom was beginning to jingle, indicating Jungkook was about to open the door and find you basically topless. You were scrambling to find something, anything to put on. You grabbed the only shirt you could find and pulled it over your head.

Jungkook opened the bathroom door to find you out of breath and changed into your outfit for the night. He eyed you up and down. "Cute shirt." He decided not to point out the two things that were staring him down. He was simply going to ignore them.

You looked down to see the shirt you chose. It was Hello Kitty dressed up as a bunny, then you noticed your nipples poking through the stupid shirt. Luckily, Jungkook had left your room already, so it gave you a chance to grab a hoodie and put it over yourself.

This would have been less awkward if you had just waited to change. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. You proceeded to leave your room to say goodbye to Jungkook. You found him meandering around your living room, looking at pictures that were hung up.

You fixed your hair and tugged down on your hoodie, making sure you were covered up, embarrassed that Jungkook almost saw you half-naked. He was examining a photo of you and Yuna, arm and arm with each other. The photo was taken on your 30th birthday. You wanted a quick trip to Jeju Island to celebrate turning the big 3-0.

It was supposed to be a double date type trip with her, Namjoon and U-jin but of course, U-jin gave you a 'work excuse' and didn't go. Other than being the third wheel on your own birthday, you still managed to have fun.

"When was this taken?" he asked curiously.

"On Jeju. We were celebrating my 30th."

"Just you and Noona?" He turned to examine you.

"Namjoon too. He took the picture."

He was going to ask if U-jin was there too but he realized he shouldn't ask since it was a touchy subject.

"You look happy here." Looking back at the photo, he smiled.

You grinned thinking about it. "I was. It was a good weekend."

"I'm sorry I missed all of these things."

You laughed, "Don't be sorry, you were out doing your own thing. There will be plenty to celebrate now that you're back."

He liked the sound of that. Being back. Being able to celebrate the big and small things. He missed being around his family and you.

"Noona..."

You hummed.

"Could I come to watch you on set sometime? Well, not watch you, but what you do. I'm curious as to what you do every day."

"Yeah just let me know when you want to come and I'll make sure you get on set."

"Are you free tomorrow?"

You let out a hearty laugh. "Miss me that much huh?"

✨ prev chapter ~ it's been a while

✨ next chapter ~ jungkook, the boyfriend?

[iliveiloveiwrite]

I wonder what it’s like to be loved by you // Benedict Bridgerton

Summary: You’ve loved him for as long as you can remember. Is this the season where he finally realises?

A/N: I LOVE BENEDICT. I love him so much. What do I have to do to get a Benedict? Title is from Shawn Mendes - Wonder. I had so much fun writing this fic, I can’t wait to write more for the Bridgerton fandom! I truly hope you all like it, let me know what you think please?

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x Fem!Reader

Warnings: swearing, mentions of food and drink, fluff, pining, mutual pining, dancing, balls, obliviousness, friends to lovers, she/her pronouns, a lot of history - I am a historian after all and this is the regency era.

Word count: 4.8k

Lady Danbury never spared any expense on the balls she held every season. She knew full well that many a match could be made that night so there was not only pressure from the ton, but also a responsibility that this ball must outdo all others thrown before – by herself and other matriarchs in society.

A feat she always managed to achieve, the elder thinks to herself as she watches your eyes widen upon entering the ornately decorated room. Looking you up and down, she approves of your outfit – a dark blue dress punctuated with silver jewellery, hair twisted into an updo with only a few strands hanging loose to frame your face. From her spot across the ballroom, Lady Danbury wonders how you hadn’t married yet.

As the band strikes up, Lady Danbury walks into the fray, greeting her guests with a smile. All the while, she keeps a trained eye on you, wondering who on earth had captured your heart but had not noticed.

-------------

No matter how hard he tried, the charcoal would not wash from his fingers. Having scrubbed and scrubbed at his hands, Benedict could only offer you a smile of apology as you not only noted his lateness but the state of his hands.

“It’s very fortunate that you are a talented artist,” You comment with a teasing smile.

Benedict reaches for your hand, dropping a kiss to the back of it before answering. “I class myself as very fortunate to have a friend like you who understands how easy it is to get lost in a sketch or a painting.”

You roll your eyes, careful not to let anyone else but Benedict see your act of impropriety. He smirks, unable to help himself.

“You’re a shameful flatterer, Benedict.”

“Some might even call me a ‘rake’,” He replies, his tone teasing.

“I shall save that for when you’ve really annoyed me.”

He laughs; a loud chuckle that draws the attention of those closest to you. Most notably, Benedict’s mother, Violet Bridgerton and Lady Danbury.

Benedict clears his throat; cheeks flushed not only from the attention but from the knowledge that his mother would soon be making her way over to him. He adored his mother; was grateful for her every day, but he could happily admit he could live without the meddling in his love life. He grabs your gloved hand once more; kissing the back of it in parting before asking, “Save me a dance on your card?”

“Always,” You answer, watching his back as he stalks away. Benedict narrowly avoids being collared by his mother, an act to which you find yourself smiling at.

With thoughts of Benedict in mind, you wander around the outskirts of the ballroom, your dark blue skirts swishing pleasantly under foot. You pause only to grab a lemonade from the table, sipping happily at the cold drink.

You catch sight of the brunette that had stolen your heart dancing with Penelope Featherington and though you know there is no romance there, your heart is unable to stop the hurt that lashes through it. Schooling your face into a mask of polite delight, you force yourself to turn away from the sight of the man you had so readily given your heart to dancing with someone else.

“How long have you been in love with my brother?” A raspy voice asks from behind you.

Your lemonade splashes slightly as you turn to face your interrogator. “Eloise!” You laugh, smiling too wide to be comfortable, “Whatever do you mean?”

Eloise’s shrewd blue eyes narrow slightly as she takes in your dismissal. She waves her hand in the general direction of Benedict though you knew exactly where he was – could feel his location thrumming in your veins.

“Don’t play coy, (Y/N). It doesn’t become you. Now, how long have you been in love with Benedict?”

That was the question, wasn’t it? How long had you loved Benedict? Thinking back on it, you’re sure that you’ve always loved him. Your family had been good friends with the Bridgerton family for as long as you could remember. Your mother was always having tea with Violet and you were always thrust upon the eight siblings without much worry. Your friendship with Benedict had started in earnest when you had complimented his art skills, bringing up how you liked to draw too. From there, a close friendship was forged.

By your twentieth year on this earth, you realised that your feelings for the second Bridgerton were no longer platonic… that you craved something more. Falling for Benedict Bridgerton felt inevitable almost; that your heart was destined to be his whether he knew it or not.

Sighing heavily, you see no point in lying to the second eldest Bridgerton girl. “For as long as I can remember,” You admit, rushing to add on, “But he doesn’t know so please don’t tell him!”

Eloise’s eyes widen at your confession, not only shocked that you readily admitted your feelings for her elder brother, but for how long you have harboured them. “Is that why you have not yet married?” She demands, “Because you loved him?”

Biting your lip, you nod. “It wouldn’t be fair to my husband. Their wife in love with another man – it doesn’t exactly set stable foundations for a long, prosperous marriage and…”

“And…” Eloise prompts, her innate curiosity getting the better of her. If her mother could hear her now, she would surely receive a scolding.

You ball your hands into fists before letting them drop to your sides; letting them hang there like the constant hope you have for Benedict.

“And I still hope he’ll notice I’m here. That I have been here all along,” You voice cracks on the admission causing a pang of upset to flash through Eloise. She’d reach out to comfort you, but it would only draw attention from the many mothers circling and no doubt, Lady Whistledown.

“(Y/N)…” Eloise begins but you hold a single hand up to stop her before she starts. With a strained smile, you reassure her. “It’s fine, Eloise. I accept it with every season that passes that it is unlikely he shall ever return my feelings.”

“Then he is a fool,” Eloise states plaining, sending a glare in the direction of her beloved brother. She had no qualms admitting that Benedict was indeed her favourite sibling, but he had his moments where he vexed her beyond belief.

“Who is a fool?” A voice questions to the right of you. Benedict.

Freezing in place, you cast a helpless look at Eloise, begging her silently to take control of this situation. Eloise smiles and nods imperceptibly. She turns towards her brother, hooking her arm through yours as she declares, “The men that have not offered their hand to (Y/N) yet. They’re all fools, aren’t they dear brother.”

Benedict casts his gaze towards you; his eyes scanning your face for what, he does not know. “Fools,” He agrees quietly though he is heard perfectly over the music. “Would you care to dance?” He asks, wanting you to himself for a little while. As much as he loved his younger sister, she was a keen observer, and he wasn’t ready for her to figure out his feelings just yet. Not when he hadn’t admitted them to you.

Nodding your head, you take his outstretched hand, bidding goodbye to Eloise for now. The brunette shakes her head as the both of you walk away. Oblivious, she thinks to herself, completely oblivious.

As the music strikes up once more, it becomes obvious that the next dance is a waltz, requiring the closeness of your partner. It was only years ago that this dance had scandalised the ton for its closeness – now, it was required at every ball, many married couples savouring the intimacy.

Benedict’s hand settles on the small of your back as his other grips your hand. Your hand rests comfortably on his shoulder as he begins to lead you through the steps you have known since your youth.

Music around you fades as do the other couples. The only two people in the room are Benedict and yourself. The feel of his hand on your back and the look in his eyes; it’s enough to have you accept your fate then and there. It’s enough for you to admit that you have been ruined for any and all men; finding yourself in love with the man who holds you so tenderly and has always held you in high regard. Is this it? You ask yourself, is this what it feels like to be loved by him? To feel like the only one in the world. If it is, you’ll take it with open hands.

Your eyes do not leave his as Benedict leads you through the rises and falls of the dance. His hand remains a steady presence on your lower back; the feeling just enough to distract you from the crowd now watching you and instead, leading you to wonder what his hands would feel like elsewhere on your body.

As the music falls into another song; this one more upbeat, Benedict drops his hands, letting you free. He hadn’t wanted to; had wanted to pull you from the ballroom, to confess the feelings that have haunted him for years and to ask you to be his for better or for worse.

But he doesn’t. Instead, he bows and smiles, reaches for your hand to kiss it and then lets himself breathe as he turns and walks away.

-------------

Dear Reader,

Though there is much to report from Lady Danbury’s ball last night – the fashion, the food, the décor – This Author wants to focus on one moment in particular.

Now, Dear Reader, whilst you may wonder the importance of such a moment, remember that it is one’s job to observe all. That is why I want to bring attention to Mr. Benedict Bridgerton who found himself extremely popular last night, dancing with many eligible women and delighting them with his talents.

However, Dear Reader, this is not the moment I want to focus on.

No. Instead, I want to bring attention to the heart most likely suffering in silence as Mr. Bridgerton continues to charm the ton.

As you all know, I am not one to beat around the proverbial bush and hide identities, but for the sake of the woman who has found herself in love with the second eldest Bridgerton for as long she can remember, I shall endeavour to keep her name a secret.

Know, however, that This Author’s sympathies lie with you.

To love another unrequitedly is a dear shame.

----------

The gossip sheet is scrunched to a ball in your hands. It’s all you can do to keep the tears from falling down your face. As if you didn’t know your love was unrequited; as if you didn’t know you had all but doomed yourself to being a spinster as you wait for a man who did not know you loved him.

Lady Whistledown knew your secret, and your identity. As a result, the whole ton knew your secret but whatever morals the author possesses, she had not revealed your identity.

Summoning the carriage, you ask to be taken to Bridgerton House where you can speak to Eloise in confidence and ask for her advice on what she might do. Deep down, you had to know whether Benedict had read the paper too.

It doesn’t take long for Eloise to find you in the tea room; a cup of tea in your hands but readily ignored as you chew on the inside of your cheek. Her brown hair tied up in her usual bun, her eyes hold the pity you didn’t want to see or hear as of this moment.

“I didn’t know she was listening, I swear,” Eloise promises, sitting by your side and reaching for your hand.

“I know,” You comfort, “You would never tell a soul.”

“At least she didn’t reveal your identity,” Eloise chirps, trying to find a silver lining.

“Yet she has revealed my secret to the entirety of London society,” You sigh. Removing your hand from Eloise’s, you press your palm to your forehead, feeling overwhelmingly tired and desperate for the day to be over already. “Does he know?”

Eloise chews on her bottom lip, deciding whether to answer you. “He has read it,” She admits,  but rushes to add, “He doesn’t know it’s you! He doesn’t have a clue really. He’s angrier at himself for not noticing anything was amiss.”

“I don’t know what to do,” You whisper, feeling helpless.

“For now,” Eloise states, “We do nothing.”

---------

Your heels sink into the soft carpet as you wander down the stairs, pausing only to check you have everything. Your mind remains elsewhere as you check your bag out of habit, the conversation with Eloise, the latest gossip sheet, your feelings for Benedict. They circle around your mind, leaving you dizzy in their wake as you try to make sense of them all, try to find your next step in and amongst the mess.

“(Y/N),” Benedict greets, hurrying down the final few stairs, pleasantly surprised, “What are you doing here? I didn’t know you were visiting.”

“I came to drop in on Eloise. I wanted to thank her for last night; she was an ear when I needed someone to listen.”

“Is it anything I can help with?” He asks, voice taking on a concerned note as he reaches out for you.

You shake your head, squeezing his hand in return. “For now, everything is okay.”

Benedict clears his throat. “I’m glad to hear it, but please come to me next time. I want to help if I can.”

“I will,” You promise, your eyes now scanning over his fine clothes. “Where are you off to?”

“An art exhibition at Somerset House. They’re showing some Holbein’s from the Royal collection.”

“Holbein’s?” You ask, shocked at the name falling from Benedict’s mouth.

He nods, just as excited. It was a rare thing indeed to have Holbein’s on display; they were usually kept in whatever royal residence they found themselves in; hidden away from the public eye. Art was the very foundation of your friendship; having seen so many of his sketches as a young boy and watching them develop into surer lines and confident strokes. Benedict was an exceptionally talented artist – something he would say about yourself. Benedict was the only person to see such work; the watercolours in your sketchpad leaving him breathless as you bring life to the inanimate.

“Would you like to join me?” He asks before he can talk himself out of it. He had barely seen you all season; you had closed in yourself, as if accepting a fate that you did not want. Benedict would do what he could to ensure your happiness for a little bit longer.

“Unchaperoned?”

A faint blush rises on Benedict’s cheeks as he realises what he has asked of you. “I shall ask Eloise to accompany us,” He suggests, turning to face the direction in which you had just come, “Did she mention any plans to you?”

You shake your head to which Benedict leases a sigh of relief. “I’ll go ask her now. I’m sure she won’t mind… much.”

Laughing quietly, you wait patiently in the entryway of Bridgerton House. The house in London so often felt like a second home to you; spending so much of childhood summers here when your mother would take tea with the Bridgerton matriarch. As you grew into your teens, you would begin to visit the house with just your maid, calling on the family for social niceties. The friendship with Benedict and Eloise only solidified your standing in the close family unit.

Eloise’s voice brings you back to the present. She walks down the stairs, accompanied by her brother. Taking one look at you, waiting patiently for the both of them, Eloise gets a mischievous look in her eye. It isn’t a look that leaves you in comfort, but rather leaves you wondering just what she has planned for the art exhibition.  

“Eloise has so graciously accepted to join us,” Benedict announces, sounding rather pleased with himself.

Eloise smiles: a smile that sets Benedict’s nerves on edge. He would owe her for this, that much he knew. “I would be more than happy to accompany you, brother.”

Benedict resists the urge to groan; he’s in deep shit for this.

“Thank you, Eloise,” You murmur with a smile. Something in Eloise softens at your tone as if she would be unable to deny you this time with Benedict when it was their mother’s mission to see him married off this very season.

“Of course,” Eloise allows, glancing between you and Benedict – noting the longing in both sets of eyes. She shakes her head, gesturing to the door and where the carriages waits just beyond it. “Shall we?”

--------

“He wasn’t a handsome monarch, was he?” Eloise murmurs quietly, staring up at the grand portrait of the fearsome king who preferred executing his wives rather than loving them.

The walls of Somerset House have become dedicated to the eyes of the past. Past monarchs and relatives decorate the walls; their eyes following each attendant, as if curious to see how society is progressing less than three hundred years after the death of the artist.

Benedict chuckles; the very sound raising goosebumps across your skin. You barely repress the shiver the sound elicits. Trying your best to listen as the siblings argue about the reign of this particular monarch – the pros and the cons to what he did for the very country he ruled over for decades.

“Oh!” Eloise gasps, interrupting the argument and loosening her grip on your arm, she waves frantically at Penelope Featherington. “Would you mind terribly if I go say hello?”

“Not at all,” You laugh.

“You’re sure you’ll be okay with Benedict?”

The man in question scoffs, rolling his eyes at his little sister. “Off with you,” He dismisses, “I’ll escort (Y/N) – someone who actually appreciates the art.”

Eloise laughs as she turns away, but you do not miss the wink she sends in your direction. It hits you all at once; her mischievous look before you all left the house. She had concocted this plan in her head; accepting to accompany you as a rouse to get you and Benedict alone.

You didn’t know whether to appreciate her genius or hide her favourite book.

Jumping at the sound of someone clearing their throat, you focus your attention on Benedict. He watches you with an amused look, and it’s then that you realise that he has stood beside you waiting with his arm out for a minute or so whilst you glared after his younger sister. Taking his arm, you rid yourself of any thoughts of violence against Eloise. Instead, focusing on the man beside you.

“How are you?” You ask, hand resting gently on Benedict’s forearm.

“Do you mean in general or after today’s publication?”

“Both, I suppose.”

“In general, I am quite well. I have a wonderful lady on my arm, and I am in the presence of excellent art work. However, after today’s publication, I must admit I am rather angry.”

“Oh?” You sound, trying hard not to let his words affect you so much but they rattle around your mind on repeat, committing themselves where they will last for an eternity.

“I’ve never been the focus of the gossip paper and now after one ball, I am. I don’t think I like the attention.”

“I don’t believe that for one second, Benedict Bridgerton.”

He pauses, smiling widely down at you. His eyes light up with the smile and your heart begins to pound at the sight of it. “Alright, I do like the attention,” He concedes, “But what I don’t like are the looks I’m getting from all mothers.”

“Why?”

“They all look like I’m about to break their daughter’s heart.”

“I’m sure you’re just imagining things,” You reassure, tightening your grip on his arm.

“I don’t think I am,” He states, nodding politely at Lady Whitelaw who in turn glares at the younger man. He turns his gaze to you as if to say, see?

You turn your face away from him, trying your best to hide the smile and laugh that threatens to break free. “You’re laughing at me, aren’t you?” Benedict guesses, a smile in his own voice.

“I’m not,” You promise, schooling your face into a mask of indifference, focusing on the closest sketch to you. A graphite sketch of Anne Boleyn; marking her beauty only years before her death.

“You are,” Benedict argues, standing beside you, admiring the same sketch. Throwing him a knowing smile, you turn your attentions to rest of the exhibition, unable to hide your awe at just what is being shown to the public.

The art is incredible; your watercolours barely compare to what is being shown in Somerset House. He would disagree in a heartbeat, but Benedict could come close to producing something of this calibre. He had shown his portraits of his mother and brothers; Anthony making the perfect candidate for a painting.

You come to a natural stop in front of a portrait of a young women. A young queen, in fact. This particular queen had never got to reign in the manner that she was capable, dying after giving birth the king’s heir. His one true love, the king had called her after he death.

“She’s beautiful,” You whisper, admiring not only the artistry but also the focus on the painting.

Benedict watches you admiring the portrait painted so carefully by Holbein. Though the portrait is indeed beautiful, Benedict finds himself agreeing that they do not hold a candle to you. As he watches you lift a single hand, trying to dampen the urge to run your fingers over the brush strokes, he thinks to himself that there would be no artist on this earth that would be so talented to capture your beauty.

His breath comes faster; his heart rate increases. He recognises the symptoms; he’s only experienced such signs before. He had been eighteen then; barely a man but man enough to accept that he had fallen in love with his best friend. Years later, here he was, experiencing such feelings once more. Once more, he wonders what it would be like to be loved by you. He cannot help but hope that the mystery woman in the society papers is you.

-------

Dear Reader,

It seems that Mr. Benedict Bridgerton reads my paper!

He was overheard at the Somerset House Holbein exhibition, complaining to Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N) about my last column in which I criticised his treatment of the lady in love with him.

All I have to say on the matter is this:

Mr. Bridgerton, for every complaint you offer, you break her heart further. Stop now before you do irreparable damage.

-----

“What does she mean ‘break her heart further’? I’ve been trying to figure out who it is so I can put a stop to it!”

“It doesn’t matter whether you know who it is, Benedict,” You argue, placing your teacup on the table, “But rather the fact that you unknowingly hurt whoever it is that is in love with you.”

“Do my feelings not matter?” He demands, throwing the damned paper onto the table. Benedict runs a hand through his hair, sighing in frustration. “I’m sorry,” He apologises, “I should not have taken that tone with you. You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“You’re forgiven,” You laugh, “I’ve heard you say a lot worse.”

He smiles though it doesn’t reach his eyes. Leaning forward on your chair, you wring your hands together, working up the nerve. “What feelings haven’t they taken into account?”

“Lady Whistledown,” He spits the name with derision, “Hasn’t taken into account that I may not have noticed someone in love with me because I am in love with someone myself.”

It’s as if the chair is pulled out from under you; your stomach dips and flips as the world crashes around you and Benedict is none the wiser. He’s none the wiser to the palpable shift that has taken place. Instead, he’s sat down across from, looking utterly defeated.

“Does she know?” You ask after a moment of silence, using the time to pull yourself back together, to compile it all and put it away for later.

Benedict shakes his head; eyes sad as he watches you. “Why haven’t you told her?” You ask, unable to stop the questions now they’re on the tip of your tongue.

“I suppose for the same reason she hasn’t told me. Fear maybe?”

“Fear of what? I’ve never known you to be afraid of anything.”

“Fear of rejection. Fear of humiliation. Fear of ruining a friendship,” He lists off, counting the reasons on his fingers, holding them up for you to see.

“Have you thought about telling her?”

“All the time,” He answers honestly, and you wonder whether the crack your heart makes was audible to the whole of the ton.

“Do you plan on telling them?”

“Eventually.”

You take a deep breath, staring at the teacup instead of him, readying yourself to offer up your broken heart. To confess that the two most recent society papers have been about you; have shown your heart to the whole of London.

“It’s me,” You confess quietly, voice no louder than a whisper but he hears you all the same.

Benedict’s head whips towards you. Had this been another situation, it would have been funny, but the look on his face… “What?” He whispers, shocked.

“It’s me,” You announce; louder this time, ready to lay your heart out on the floor for him to break entirely. “It’s me, Benedict. Lady Whistledown must have overheard Eloise and myself talking at Lady Danbury’s ball the other night. She had caught me watching you dance and asked me outright. I couldn’t deny it. I’ve been in love with you for years, Benedict. For as long as I can remember.”

“For as long as you can remember?”

You nod, wringing your hands together once more. “I didn’t realise until I turned twenty, just what my feelings meant. I think I’ve always been in love with you, Benedict.”

Benedict remains silent; eyes wide, hands slack as they rest on his thighs. He looks like he doesn't believe the very words leaving your mouth; as if he is unworthy of the love you offer him so willingly. 

“Say something, please,” You plead, “I know it isn’t proper for the woman to announce her feelings for the man, but I couldn’t keep it a secret any longer. Not when it is the focus for Lady Whistledown to sell more copies of her paper.”

“I didn’t know,” He whispers after a prolonged silence.

“You weren’t to know. You don’t have to feel the same, Benedict.”

“I do as it happens.”

“What?”

“I do feel the same,” Benedict clarifies, standing from his chair, “I’ve loved you since I was eighteen.”

You sniffle slightly; emotional from hearing the words you have longed to hear for years. The words that have haunted your dreams; had you rushing from sleep, so you didn’t let yourself believe an alternate reality.

“You do?”

Benedict nods, “I do. I love you very much.”

“I love you too,” You reply, standing from your chair, reaching for him – not wanting anymore space between the two of you.

He dips his head, pausing mere millimetres away from your lips. The question burns in his eyes; desperate to know whether he can kiss you after so long waiting. Your nod is barely imperceptible but it’s nod, nonetheless.

Slowly, almost wanting to savour every moment, Benedict presses his lips to yours. Reaching up, you haul him closer, wanting to feel every inch of him pressed against you after having waited so long, after having dreamed of this moment for too long.

He tastes like tea and his hands bring to life the butterflies in your stomach as they wander the path of your back, settling on your lower back, dipping you slightly. Benedict groans softly at the feel of you lined up against him. If he had known heaven was this close, he would not have waited this long.

Benedict breaks the kiss; not out of need of air, but to stop himself from taking this too far when you feel like heaven pressed against him. You smile widely, kissing his jaw lovingly before starting to laugh lightly. Benedict’s hands on your waist tighten possessively as he joins you in laughter.

Briefly, he wonders whether this is what it feels like to be loved by you.

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