#it. man like tell me you didn’t pay attention to his arc next time it’ll use fewer words

[flashhwing]

y’know what I may be one of Those Anders Fans but at least I like the other characters y’know?

[sortasirius]

“Gimme Shelter” and The Bomb

Living in the middle of clown town is always an adventure but they’re recently opened a five star restaurant that’s free to all residents so we’re eatin good lmao.

Wow.  Uh.  Wow.  Lots and lots and lots to unpack here.

This is.........long lmao

I mean.  Should we just talk about some of the *cough cough* married details we’ve got going on?  That picture of Cas from “Tombstone”?  Who took that? Who else COULD have taken that?  Why is it a printed photo that Cas just happens to have?  Why did it look like it was cut in half?

Okay, I also want to talk about the energy between Dean and Cas, and not the energy of two intensely married people.  We haven’t seen them together that much since 15x09 right?  I mean we’ve had bits here and there, but to me something still feels off.  I just can’t help but go back to the unresolved ending of their time in Purgatory (”I have to say something.” “You don’t have to say it, I heard your prayer.”).  It just feels like there’s awkwardness hanging in the air, like when Dean and Sam leave right when Cas gets back, or the way that Dean hangs up on him.  It feels like we’re supposed to be sus, which I most definitely am.  Things aren’t 100% fixed, even though they’d like us to believe that they are.

Baby man Jack?  “Marvelous Marvin the talking teddy, I have one!”

Also just,

“Can we wear matching ties?!”

“Yeah, blue’s a good color on you.”

I CRY.

I think it’s FASCINATING that Rowena is spending her time in Hell making things “boring” for demons, changing things. “People will end up where they belong.”  There is NO WAY that’s throwaway.

“Hello!  Where can I find the Kool Aid.”

Literal king.

There are a lot of ~parallels~ in this episode, a whole lot of callbacks, and not in the jokey oh hey remember that episode.  There are all very deliberate and coded carefully into the dialogue so that even people who watch casually and pay attention will pick up on them.

“We...dated.  Years ago, sort of.  More like we watched a lot of old movies together.”

Ok.

Which, nbd, same exact fucking episode as

Come on guys.  Just like.  Come on.  Davy.  My man.

Good to point out too that Davy Perez also wrote “Tombstone.”

I just want to take a second and appreciate that we at got this Amara this season.  No weird drama between her and Dean, just a literal badass who knows she’s a badass.  Dabb and co are going to save every poorly written character before this is over.

Cas’ fucking speech y’all. 

“I do know what blind faith is.  I used to just follow orders without question, and I did some pretty terrible things.  I would never look beyond the plan.  And then of course when it all came crashing down, I found myself lost.  I didn’t know what my purpose was anymore.  And then one day something changed, something amazing.  I...I guess I found a family.  And I became a father.  And in that, I rediscovered my faith.  And I rediscovered who I am.”

First of all, we deserved to see this from Cas.  We deserve to hear him talk about how much he’s grown, how much he’s changed from the “soldier” in season 4. 

Cas found who he was with Jack, with Sam, with Dean.  He found out he was a Winchester.  His love for others is so palpable this episode, the way he mother hens around Jack, the way he looks at Dean, I just completely adore him, and I loved being able to see him reflect on his own growth.

Okay, moving along to Amara and Dean’s convo...fuck man.  F U C K.

Dean’s pain in this scene.  His pain over Mary, over the lack of choice.  It’s so palpable, and I don’t think anything could have prepared me for Amara’s answer to his “Why?”

“I wanted two things for you, Dean.  I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person.  That the myth that you’d held on to for so long of a better life, a life where she’d lived was just that.  Myth. I wanted you to see that the real, complicated Mary was better than your childhood dream because she was real.  That now is always better than then.  That you could finally start to accept your life.”

“Hm.  And the second thing?”

“I thought having her back would release you.  Put that fire out.  Your anger.  But I guess we both know I failed at that.”

His anger.

His anger through the whole season.

His inability to let go of the anger.

Dean’s anger, his inability to let go, we now know, of course, that his happiness didn’t come from Mary.  He still had the fire, he still couldn’t let go of the anger, the rage.  So what is it?  Not even Amara knows what will bring him peace, she just knows that her solution failed.

And then, as if we needed more parallels to this season:

“I’m furious.  To learn that all my life I’ve been nothing but a hamster in a wheel, stuck in a story.”

If that line sounded familiar to you.  It’s because it is.

It’s not a common phrase, especially since Davy Perez FILLED this episode with callbacks.  We’re in the endgame, nothing is unimportant.

For Dean to bring this line back up, right after Amara tells him that she thought that Mary would bring him peace, that she was wrong in that assumption.  For that line to get brought back up when Dean talks about his anger in that scene with Cas, right in the middle of their breakup, where the whole catalyst of his prayer is about his anger, how he can’t let go of his anger.  How he’s sorry he got so angry at Cas.

Bruh.

And then, as if all of this wasn’t enough.  Jack drops the twist.  That he has to die to kill Chuck and Amara.

It’s his own version of the empty deal.  That isn’t a mistake.  Both are going to come into play, Jack’s deal and Cas’.  Mirrors of each other.

Putting his hand on Cas’ shoulder, telling him his death is not Cas’ choice, but his own.  I think this, this scene is going to come back into play.

And then to end the episode with Cas telling Dean, telling him about Jack’s death. 

“In case something goes wrong and I don’t make it back, there’s something you and Sam need to know.”

So...our fluff episodes are over.

There’s so much in this episode, but what I think bears repeating at the end is Dean’s anger, what will bring him peace, Jack’s impending death, and Cas’ deal.  All of these are going to be our catalysts moving forward.  Dean’s anger arc isn’t over, just as Cas’ deal hasn’t been resolved.  Next week ~seems~ like it’ll be a fluff episode, but I am certain that it won’t be.  There’s gotta be some big to do about what Cas is going to tell Dean.

Idk what to tell y’all other than the volume inside of this clown car is astronomical.

[hewwocopter]

As Fate Would Have It

MK has doubts about his soulmate, but he’s certain that it’ll work out for the best.

Until he meets him.

On Ao3 (2112 words)

Soulmates were thought highly of in society.

Their customs were normally respected. If one wanted to cover their soulmark with an article of clothing, so be it. It was for the owner’s eyes only.

It had led MK to cover his right wrist with a bandana not unlike his headband.

He knew what it said. Many nights had his fingers traced over the words, longing to hear his soulmate’s voice. Even if they were to yell at him.

Because, he presumed, that was probably what they were going to do, considering the nature of his sentence.

He laid in his bed, fiddling with the bandana. It had been a long day at work today, and it was still slightly damp from the sweat his arms had accumulated from noodle deliveries.

Ah, well.

MK slipped the band off, already knowing what he would see.

Get off me, you idiot!

What gratifying first words, right?

It seemed as though their relationship would have a rocky start. MK knew this, he was fine with it.

He was good at getting people to open up, Pigsy proved that fact. What once was a grumpy pig who nearly called the cops on MK for being too rambunctious in the streets…

Well…

Now he was a grumpy pig man who had hired that rambunctious street child. When the man saw that MK needed a place, he took him in.

So yeah, MK could probably handle his soulmate. Plus, they were his soulmate- the one destined for him. So they would eventually like each other, even if they started off hating each other, right?

There was always that small voice in the back of his head that told him to doubt. That no matter what, his soulmate would reject him. They would hate him. That his strength was also his weakness. MK’s energy was just too much, he was way too over the top.

But he had to keep hope. He seared that sentence into his brain, knowing that they were out there. That they were alive, and that there was hope.

…Probably.

A yawn edged its way up his throat, causing MK to stretch and fall back into his bed.

He’d just have to see how it went, he supposed. MK had no way of knowing for certain.

Deciding that his energy was best spent on sleeping instead of debating with himself, he set his Monkey King themed alarm clock to its usual time and slipped under the blankets, his eyes quickly sliding shut.

—

Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK.

MK’s arms wobbled dangerously as he balanced precariously on the pipes of the sewer system.

Maniacal laughter echoed from beneath him, as green smoke erupted from the mountain. The Demon Bull King had been freed.

Son of a…

If his life were a show, this definitely would qualify as one of those record-scratch-freeze-frame moments, saying ‘hey, you’re probably wondering how I got here’.

He knew damn well how he got here. He was delivering noodles like a good delivery boy, although he was supposed to be on his break, which also begged the question:

Who ordered noodles in a sewer?! Where were the construction workers?!

How was he holding on this long?!

Although MK was surprised he hadn’t lost his grip yet.

The strange bird glanced over at him again, with a mischievous glint in its golden eyes.

His luck had been pushed to the limit with that last thought, it seemed.

He glowered, but wasn’t about to give up yet. MK waved the bird off. “No, shoo, go away!”

It hopped closer despite his warnings.

MK’s eyes only widened as what happened before him transpired in slow motion. The bird bent down and began to peck.

The incessant poking at his hand causing his grip to falter, and MK to become more panicked. Before he could shoo the bird away, he finally lost his grip and-

“No, no, no- aaaaaaaaugh!”

MK slipped.

Luckily his twenty to thirty foot fall was softened by his landing, which was on top of- oh, oh shit. He was going to die.

Before he could properly process that reaction, the giant Demon Bull King stomped up to him.

Their eyes gleamed an eerie green, casting a dark shadow onto his surroundings.

In this sort of situation, seeming it was a live or die one of the sort, MK decided he should probably de-escalate it. He let out a nervous chuckle, and lifted the noodle bag.

“Someone ordered some noodles?”

There was an awkward pause, as the villains stared at him, seemingly not expecting that reaction- they probably thought he’d be terrified- which he was, but sometimes his stupidity outweighed his sensibility.

A low growling rumbled from beneath, and MK flinched as the boy under him began to struggle, his hair flickering with flames.

“Get off me, you idiot!”

MK’s heart stopped, but only for a moment as he was sent flying and it was thumping wildly once more. While it was because of the actions occurring at the moment, what the boy- Red- had said also had a part in it.

Did he just-?

The boy tumbled to the ground, grunting.

“Do you know what you just did?” He turned to face MK fully, snarling. “You ruined my moment!”

MK could hardly process what the family was saying. Red Son- that was his name, probably- he had said what was on his wrist.

That right there was his soulmate.

He blinked, as a shadow was suddenly cast over him. MK visibly shrunk back as he saw that DBK was about to squish him, oh dear gods. All because he had zoned out over…

Speaking of. The boy slid in front of him, halting his father’s murder in progress. Thank goodness.

“Wait, father.” Red Son placed a hand on DBK’s heel, nudging him away.

MK’s eyes widened at the sight. Was he sparing him?

Then another stuttering thought.

Did he know?

He hadn’t said anything to the boy, had he? All he had done was scream so far.

“What is this?”

“Waste not your energy on this peasant. Please, allow me to show you how powerful I have become in your absence!”

MK drooped, and he nearly face-palmed. Great, so now my soulmate is going to kill me!

“As you wish.”

Well, fuck this. MK was going to escape, call the cops, then buy ice cream and cry over the fact that his soulmate was a villain. That probably hated him, considering the fact he was going to kill him.

MK turned away slowly, and began crawling away. Only halting at the sound of Red Son’s voice, internally cursing himself that he was caught.

“In some ways, you’re very fortunate, noodle boy.” Now Red Son was smiling, and were those fangs?

Oh gods, that was hot.

The thought ran through his mind a few more times before MK realized what it was, his face flaring red before he could stop it.

Are you kidding me?! Evil soulmate who hates me, and now I go and think he’s hot?!

No, no, he could not let himself get attracted to that. MK rapidly accelerated his inching away, only backwards now, only to bump into a pole, now lying discarded on the concrete.

A voice in the back of his mind whispered the truth of what it really was.

Monkey King’s staff…?

“Not many insects are lucky to be stamped out by the Demon Bull family-“ His eyes narrowed, probably at the boy’s expression which by now was a deep cherry red. “Are you even listening to me?!”

Yes and no. Red Son’s voice had no right being that hot, smoky yet matter of fact. But MK was too distracted by the staff, as well as escaping to properly pay attention to what he was articulating.

Where had these feelings even come from…?

The boy growled. “I, Red Son, will not be disrespected! You’re history!”

He raised his gauntlet, igniting it with his flames and rushed towards the delivery boy who was still stuck in his internal panic. MK’s eyes snapped up as he realized just what was going on.

Oh fuck-

MK instinctively grabbed the first thing near him- the staff- and raised it in front of him as his defense.

A loud clanging noise echoed throughout the chambers, along with a huge gust of wind.

“N-no way.” MK’s eyes peeked open upon hearing the other’s disbelief at him not being dead. “How could you possibly lift Monkey King’s staff?!” Red Son backed away from him, eyes wary but wide.

MK could only stare at the staff in awe, nothing else registering in his brain.

Red Son stammered. “I- I don’t know what’s going on here, but I’m about to end it! That staff is mine!”

MK was snapped out of his trance at the appearance of the Bull clones and DBK. He let out a little whimper- one villain he could take on but fifty?! “I’m supposed to be on my breeEEEAAK!”

He swung the staff in a wide arc, a golden light erupting from the motion towards the enemies.

Through the brightness, MK saw Red Son’s expression pale, although that could have been the light. His mouth was slack jawed, eyes wide, and then he was struck with the incredible power of the staff, sent flying.

The bull clones retreated, but the superiors managed to stay standing. Oh crap, I just managed to piss off a bunch of powerful villains. I’m so dead.

“Aah,” He stumbled for an explanation, “That was way more explosive than I expected.” He then coughed, some of the soot (?) from the explosion (?!) having found its way onto his face.

A thud from Princess Iron Fan’s weapon caused the boy to jump. From her expression, he could tell that the woman was not happy.

MK gulped, and began to thrust the staff around wildly, hoping to scare her off. “Stay back! I don’t know how I’m doing this stuff!”

“That staff doesn’t belong to you, little boy. Hand it over.” Like a chiding mother to her child, the woman then held her hand out expectantly. Like she was expecting him to comply.

For a split-second, he considered it. Then promptly threw that thought out the window, because one- these people were villains, two- they were probably going to kill him either way, and three- it was Monkey King’s staff, how could he give it away?!

So MK wasn’t going to comply.

He grasped the staff protectively, holding it up against his cheek. “Mmm… no…?”

That was the moment when the staff chose to wobble, sticking itself into the ground which was absolutely not of MK’s volition that time. “Okay, I didn’t even move that ti-“

The next moment he was up in the air, the staff carrying him away, and all he could do was scream.

—

Red Son pushed some rubble off of himself, his mind still reeling.

“I’m supposed to be on my breeEEEAAK!”

The words replayed in his mind, although they were uttered only a few seconds ago. As Red rubbed at his head, still sore from where he had hit it against the wall, his eyes narrowed in thought.

He couldn’t believe it. The one who plagued his thoughts, the one whose words were written on his left shoulder… it was that stupid noodle boy?!

Son of a bitch.

Fate would have it be this way.

Red had to go after him. One, to beat the everloving shit out of the boy and get the staff. Two, to demand to know why it was him. Why the gods had chosen that stupid idiot for him.

Red Son didn’t need anyone. He had himself and his intelligence, and he deemed that enough. It would get him where he needed to be.

Red Son also wasn’t an idiot. He was a facts person, that much was true. He ran on logic, feelings were just icky and out of place. Predetermined love? Yeah, fuck that. He was his own person, Red Son didn’t need anyone to tell him who to love.

But he had to know.

Noodle Boy had answers.

He halted his father once more, who was in the middle of intensely describing how he would skin the noodle boy alive. “Father, allow me. I won’t fail you a second time.”

“See that you don’t.” He snarled. “My patience is past its end!”

“Of course, father.” Red Son vanished into a plume of fire, only to appear at his vehicle. He quickly hopped in and sped after the boy, already getting a reading on him on his radar.

He was going to get his answers, one way or another.

[solieldoux]

when brush meets canvas; a collection of thoughts and happenings ( @wclfsun​ )

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   five years ago, snu campus tour

he’s  not  listening. ethan  liu  has  the  attention span  of  a  a  goldfish when  it  comes  to  irrelevant things.  there’s  the  center  of  the  campus, there’s  the  café  (there’s  great coffee  there!),  dorms are  that  way,  class  buildings one  and  two  over  there  (  “  they’re  close  together  so  you  don’t  miss  classes!” )  …  so  on  and  so  forth. he  can  keep  pace  with  the  group  well  enough on  auto-pilot.  the  ‘highlights’  of  the  greater campus  are  irrelevant to  a  student who  plans  to  spend  four  semesters  holed  up  in  a  dorm  room.

“  sorry!  i’m  so  sorry!! “

he’s  rather  responsive for  someone  on  auto-pilot.  she  crashes  into  him  out  of  nowhere. his  arms  reach  out  to  catch  her  and  stabilize them  both.  it’s  not  until  after  he’s  done  it  that  ethan  truly  realizes that  something  happened, and  he’s  got  his  arms  around  a  brunette  who’s  expression  reads  utterly  horrified by  her  own  actions.

he  lets  her  go,  waving it  off,  “it’s  fine.  you’re alright?”

yes  she’s  alright, and  she’s  very  sorry,  and  she’s  sometimes so  clumsy,  and  she  wants  to  make  it  up.  ethan  continues to  wave  her  off,  shaking his  head  because it  really  is  fine.  it  takes  some  talking  down,  but  she  ultimately  accepts it,  and  she  shifts  herself off  to  the  side  a  bit  so  she’s  not  walking  so  closely  to  the  man  she’d  just  collapsed  into.  

ethan  sighs.  the  walk  continues. now  they  know  of  each  other’s  existence; any  time  they  catch  glances he  gives  a  small  nod  and  she  alternates  between mouthing  ‘sorry!’  and  giving  him  a  gentle smile.  he  finds  it  funny. and  it  makes  the  rest  of  the  tour  considerably less  grating.

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   five years ago, coffee shop

ahh.  that’s  why  she  asked  what  my  coffee  order  is  the  other  day.

leia  is  settled at  a  small  café  table  –  in  front  of  her  a  tall  glass  of  iced  coffee  and  a  slice  of  crumb  cake.  across from  her  in  front  of  the  opposite, empty  chair  is  another  cup  –  this  one  a  large  ceramic cappuccino  mug  with  two  slices of  lime  set  on  a  separate  dish  to  the  side.  it  too  is  accompanied  by  a  slice  of  cake.

“  did  you  wait  long  ??  “  he  asks

she  didn’t  wait  long  at  all,  she  just  got  there  a  little  early  and  decided to  order  for  them!  she’s  fine  with  paying  for  it,  and  ethan  certainly shouldn’t  worry.  she  hopes  she  ordered  the  right  thing, she’d  written  down  what  he  said  a  few  days  ago  about  liking  to  mix  lime  into  his  coffee.  she  thinks  it’s  very  interesting, and  she  almost ordered  it  herself. and  she’s  talking and  rambling  to  much  and  she’s  sorry.

ethan  is  to  used  to  her  by  now  to  be  phased. he  simply  sits  in  front  of  her,  lets  her  ramble  a  minute  while  he  adds  the  lime  to  his  drink  and  takes  a  fork  to  the  cake.  after  a  moment  she’s  quiet,  shyly  looking  down  at  her  own  setting. ethan  shakes  his  head.

“  you  worry  to  much.  “

she  knows.  she  can’t  help  it.  

“  i  owe  you  for  this.  “

no  he  doesn’t! it’s  completely  fine.  she  doesn’t mind.  and  ethan  doesn’t  care,  as  he’s  already  reaching across  the  table  to  pocket the  receipt. leia  sighs  a  bit.  she  just  wanted to  be  nice.  ethan  tells  her  she’s  nice  without trying,  and  it’s  one  of  the  many  reasons  he  likes  being  around  her.

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   five years ago, leia’s apartment

leia  is  rambling, as  she  always is.  only  this  time  she  rambles  while  dumping  new  dishware  into  the  sink  and  unpacking boxes  of  this  and  that  and  things from  home  into  cabinets  and  into  drawers. ethan  is  listening, as  he  always is.

if  he  doesn’t want  to  enroll in  snu,  then  he  shouldn’t! he  should  definitely join  two  star  if  that’s what  feels  right. and  she’s  supportive of  his  decision. and  yes,  it’ll  be  harder to  start  school without  him  if  he  chooses not  to  go,  but  she’ll be  alright!  and  they  can  still  text  and  hang  out,  and  everything  would  be  fine.  and  she’s  seen  some  of  the  lyrics  he  wrote!  and,  oh,  they’re so  good  no  wonder  two  star  entertainment extended  him  a  contract!  

she’s  practically  bouncing up  in  down,  bubbling  up  with  all  the  excitement one  would  expect ethan  to  have  after  receiving a  personal  invitation from  the  company’s ceo.  but  he’s  just  standing there  with  his  arms  crossed, watching  her  with  one  brow  arced  and  a  smile  tugging  at  the  corners of  his  mouth.

“  when  was  the  last  time  you  took  a  breath?”

leia  pauses,  her  body  going  stiff  for  a  moment as  she  manually takes  in  a  breath,  then  lets  it  out  again  with  an  embarrassed  smile. she’s  just  so  happy  for  him.  and  she  wants  what’s  best  for  him  and  wants  what  makes  him  happy. ethan  moves  towards her  and  puts  his  arms  around  her  waist.

“  i  have  a  lot  to  be  happy  about  these  days.  “

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   four years ago, leia’s apartment

over  the  past  year  or  so,  ethan  has  come  to  learn  how  every  aspect  of  leia  is  soft  –  lips,  voice,  demeanor.  more  recently,  he’s  learned  that  the  rest  of  her  body  is  no  different.  the  discovery  wasn’t  by  chance.  it  was  planned  and  executed  with  comfort  and  assuredness  in  mind.  the  location,  however,  was  a  bit  unplanned  –  the  intent  had  been  the  bedroom,  but  the  living  ended  up  serving  just  as  well.  and  that,  ironically,  turned  out  to  be  for  the  best  as  ethan  discovered  something  else  that  very  same  afternoon.

leia’s  back  is  a  wonderful  canvas.  the  better  part  of  the  next  hour  had  been  spent  in  quiet  conversation  as  he  brushed  unplanned,  but  ornate  designs  onto  her  skin.

“  it  washes  off.  “

she  knows.  she  wouldn’t  really  have  let  him  do  it  if  it  was  permanent.  or  maybe  she  would  have.  maybe  his  art  would’ve  become  a  beautiful  back  tattoo.  she  wants  a  picture  of  it  when  it’s  done,  because  she  can’t  see  for  herself  what  she’s  doing  and  it’d  be  a  shame  to  wash  all  his  hard  work  away  without  remembering  it.

why  do  i  love  you  so  much?

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   two and a half years ago, leia’s apartment

he’s debuting! she’s so excited, and she always knew it would happen. there’s no way ethan would’ve gotten two invitations to the company if they didn’t want him. imagine how different things would’ve been if he’d gone to snu instead! she misses him a bit when she’s alone on campus, and she does sometimes think it would’ve been fun to go together. no wait! oh, she didn’t mean to say that. she shouldn’t have said it, and she doesn’t want him to worry about her. because she’s fine! she’s doing great on her own! she’s only got a couple more years and then she’ll be graduating, and everything will be fine.

“ i’m moving into the dorm this week. “

she’ll help him pack!

“ you can’t come to the trainee dorms, leia, i’ll get in trouble.”

oh right.

her smile is still soft and gentle. their relationship had been quiet and incredibly comfortable til now. never something either of them spoke to openly about. not out of shame, but just out of natural inclination to not speak to often about personal matters to other people. but now it’s necessity.

“ …. no one knows about you except hyunsik. i think it needs to stay that way. it’s for your safety, ultimately.”

it’s okay! she completely understands. she doesn’t want to jeopardize his career and she loves him enough that she’s okay with keeping things quiet. really, she’s fine. she’s completely okay.

ethan wraps his arms around her tightly, presses his lips to her forehead. he’s never wanted to shout that he loves her more than right now. more than this moment where he’s realized that he can’t.

“ i love you. “ he settles for a soft whisper in her ear.

she loves him too.

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   six months ago, d:fi dorm

“  ethan  ?!  yah  –  ethan  !!  “

the  force  of  leaving  the  trance  sends  ethan  tumbling off  his  chair  and  onto  the  ground where  he  catches himself  on  all  fours.  

“  you  okay  ??  you  weren’t  responding …  can  you  hear  me  now??”  hyunsik asks,  kneeling  by  his  side  and  putting an  arm  him.  

ethan  shuts  his  eyes,  squeezing them  so  tight  that  he  feels  pressure in  his  forehead, “…yeah.”  he  says  finally.

the  past  hour  of  his  life  is….  nothingness,  as  far  as  ethan  can  recall.  but  the  state  of  the  dorm  room  indicates  otherwise. dropped  brushes,  a  tipped  over  cup  of  mucky  water. tubes  of  acrylic paint  are  scattered across  the  floor, some  burst  open  from  the  force  of  being  stepped on.  paint  had  splattered  onto  the  wall  and  floor, even  onto  some  of  the  furniture.  his  easel  is  turned  over  on  it’s  side,  and  the  canvas ethan  had  been  working  on  lay  on  the  floor, slightly  smudged  due  to  making contact  with  the  bedframe  before hitting  the  ground.

“  what  were  you  doing  ??”

“  i  don’t  know.  my…i’ve been  off  recently. i  don’t  know.”

suddenly  ethan  pushes himself  up  and  whirls  around to  look  at  the  painting. he  feels  a  pit  form  in  his  stomach  as  he  examines it.  it’s  messy, it’s  smeared  with  dark  reds,  browns,  and  auburns.  but  he  knows  exactly  what  he’s  looking at.  the  creature hunting  them  all  –  the  being  known  as  aries  –  holding leia  aloft.

his  hand  is  around  her  neck.  she’s  bleeding  profusely. her  body  is  limp,  but  her  eyes  are  wide  open  in  horror.  the  sight  breaks lose  tears  form  ethan’s  eyes,  and  hyunsik snatches  the  painting up  and  turns  it  around.

“  stop  it.    leia  is  fine.  ethan  –  leia  is  fine.  “

“  you  don’t  know  that.  ”

hyunsik  puts  himself between  ethan  and  the  painting, places  both  hands  on  his  forearms  and  squeezes  tightly, “  i  do.  two  star  is  protected. and  leia  is  right  downstairs.   there’s  nowhere  else  she  could  be  that’s safer.  she’s  fine.  she’ll  be  fine.  nothing’s going  to  hurt  her.”

ethan  uses  all  his  force  to  push  hyunsik  aside. the  elder  doesn’t expect  it,  and  so  he  tumbles  to  the  side  and  into  the  bedframe. ethan  snatches  the  painting  back  up  and  flips  it  over,  trying to  understand  what  part  of  his  brain  decided  to  concoct  this  monstrosity  of  an  image.

what  is  this  panic  induced nightmare  sitting  at  the  forefront of  his  mind?  why  is  his  stomach sinking  the  more  he  looks  at  it?  why  does  it  feel  so  real?  so  possible? so…inevitable?  he  feels  the  tears  begin  to  fall,  and  they  plop  onto  the  canvas,  causing bits  of  it  to  run  because  of  still  wet  paint.

hyunsik  gets  up  again  and  tries  to  pull  the  painting  from  ethan’s  vice  grip.  the  elder  ultimately wins  the  scuffle, and  the  painting is  pushed  off  to  the  side  of  the  room  face  down  and  smeared across  the  floor. ethan’s  body  racks  with  sobs  as  hyunsik pins  him  down.  loud,  anguished cries  as  realization  sets  in  of  the  future he’s  seen  for  leia.

  [     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   last night, d:fi dorm

leia’s  asleep,  curled up  in  a  blanket  while  ethan  sits  beside  her  with  one  of  his  sketchpads.  over  the  course of  the  evening, a  series  of  elaborate  mandala like  designs  have  blossomed  onto  the  page.  it’s  not  until  the  very  early  hours  of  the  morning where  light  is  peeking  into  the  window that  ethan  realizes he’s  been  awake  since  the  moment  leia  arrived.  with  realization  comes  exhaustion.  his  vigilant  watch  over  her  was  bound  to  come  to  an  end  eventually, but  he  remains uneased.  like  he  can’t  trust  the  locked doors  and  magical wards  around  the  dorm  to  protect  them.

considering  how  monsters had  broken  through them  before,  though, were  his  concerns truly  misplaced?

he  sets  his  sketchpad  aside  and  slides down  into  the  bed,  wrapping an  arm  around her  and  leaning into  her  back.  leia  stirs  and  turns  to  face  him.  worry  is  written all  over  her  face  as,  even  through her  glossy  eyed  half-asleep  daze,  she’s  picked up  on  something troubling  him.  ethan  smiles  a  bit,  shakes his  head.

“  i’m  fine.  just  thinking. why  do  you  always  know  when  i’m  thinking?”

she’s  too  tired  to  form  a  meaningful response.  her  words  come  out  practically  inaudible and  a  little bit  slurred.  exhaustion is  evident,  and  so  ethan  just  strokes her  hair  and  her  arm  and  tells  her  to  go  back  to  sleep. it  doesn’t  take  long  before she’s  out  again  and  he  is  left  to  his  thoughts.

would  you  have  ever  spoken to  me  if  you’d  known  this  is  what  your  life  would  be?  constantly chasing  down  or  running  away  from  monsters…fighting  against the  threads  of  time  and  having  to  figure  out  what  fate  looks  like  for  you…?

he  knows  what’d she  say  if  she  were  conscious.  she’d  say  yes,  of  course. she’d  say  it’s  worth  it  and  as  long  as  they’re  together, she  knows  she  safe.  she’d  say  she  doesn’t  want  to  be  a  burden, but  she  wouldn’t want  it  any  other  way.  though  if  he  wanted to  leave  her,  she’d  say  she’d  understand. it’d  break  her  heart,  but  all  she  wants  is  for  him  to  be  happy  –

ethan  realizes  that  he’s  rambling for  her  and  lets  out  a  small  laugh.  she’s  so  much  a  part  of  him.  maybe  to  much  now.  ‘that’s  what  soulmates  are’,  he’s  sure  someone  in  the  dorm  would  say.  hyunsik  or  reese.  and  yeah,  perhaps that’s  what  they  are.  no…that is  definitely  what  they  are.  nothing  else  would  explain why  it  feels  as  though leia  has  a  cord  around his  soul  and  is  constantly pulling  at  it.  he  welcomes every  tug.

and  god  save  whoever tries  to  sever  that  cord.      

[scullysexual]

Time Can Heal (7/ )

Season Two | Abduction Arc | Canon Divergence | Angst | 

One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | AO3

Mulder realises his request for the truth costs too much.

Tagging: @today-in-fic @bevh78 @mypanicface @weseeusinthefall 

[In which it is a disaster]

- - - 

Voices escape through the gaps in the door as Mulder approaches the office. He hears Bocks’ laugh and the voice of a male agent he’s never heard before. It doesn’t sound like Colton but to be sure Mulder looks through the window.

It’s not Colton.

That bit more optimistic, Mulder pushes open the door. The two agents turn to him as he steps in. He nods towards Bocks and when he turns to introduce himself to the other agent the man has the look of awe and giddiness.

“Well shit,” the agent says, the biggest smile plastered across his face. “I knew there was a reason I was assigned to this case.” The man laughs while Mulder gives a questioning look at Bocks. The older agent shrugs, just as confused.

The younger agent finds this even more entertaining.

“You have know idea, do you?” he asks.

Mulder huffs. “No idea of what?” He’s in no mood for this agent’s games today.

The agent continues to smile gleefully. “That your girlfriend is also on this case.” He cocks his head towards the back room where they store boxes.

He doesn’t have a girlfriend, Mulder thinks. He looks towards the storage room at the same time as a small, red-headed woman exits.

Her hands cover her face but it doesn’t matter, Mulder would recognise her from a distance away.

He swallows, his throat dry, chest constricting, his legs threatening to give out beneath him.

It’s Scully.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.

She tries to recompose herself in this tiny room. The crime scene photos had hit her hard, their mutilated bodies causing her blood to stop cold. She could barely look at them but Davis and Agent Bocks were staring at her and she had to go through each one but each one was worse than the next and when Agent Bocks handed her another file she could hardly believe there was more like this. That was when she shuffled away into this room when really she wanted to shuffle away out of this state.

The room was still open, she could hear their voices loud and clear, talking about a football game coming up tomorrow and while Dana was glad it wasn’t the case how they could speak about something so normal when being presented with something completely abnormal was beyond her.

This had to be some punishment, why didn’t Fuller tell her about the case beforehand then she would have chosen not to go. Would she even have a choice or would he give her an ultimatum- working on this case or working for this department. Dana knows which one she would’ve chosen.

But she’s hear now, she can’t back down now. This can be her only slip-up and surely she’ll allow herself it, she was taken off guard, that won’t happen next time.

“Your girlfriend is also on this case.”

Davis’ words catch her attention and she realises that he’s talking about her. There’s another person in the room, somebody else she has to regain her posture around.

Her time up, Dana exits the room wiping the tears and redness away from her eyes. Another pair of feet stand by the entrance and Dana lifts her eyes up the body, lingering on the familiar disgusting tie right up to his face.

Her subconscious already knew who it was, there is only one other person Davis would ever refer to as she being their girlfriend, yet her conscious mind takes a moment to process it all.

Mulder.

Mulder is really standing before her and she momentarily forgets the violence of this case.

God, she has no idea whether she wants to cry or go running into his arms and never let go.

But she’s unable to do either of those things because Davis and Agent Bocks is watching them so she tampers down on both instincts and instead settles for a simple greeting.

“Hi.”

“Hi,” Mulder replies back smiling. In his eyes she can see how overjoyed he is at seeing her again and it has her own smile spreading across her face.

Until it falters, a thought entering her head.

You lied. You never wanted to go.

Dana coughs, her smile gone and Mulder notices, frowning, his own smile leaving his face. She reaches for the folder, to hand it to him when Davis’ voice cuts through.

“We can leave if you two need to bang or something.”

Dana steels herself against the remark. Of course it was only going to worsen now that she and Mulder were working together. She wonders if they would be able to keep up the same repertoire now as they did when they were partners. Could they bounce off one another without Davis’ snide remarks?

While she’s now been able to ignore Davis’ comments- for the most part- she notices that Mulder hasn’t. His clenched jaw always giving his anger away no matter how much he tries to hide it. She wants to tell him that it’s no use, more fuel is added to Davis’ fire if you retaliate, it’s just best to ignore it.

So she tries to pull him away, bring his attention back to her, back to the two of them, by extending the folder towards him.

It works, his jaw relaxes as he takes it from her and flicks through it. Dana tries not to look at the photos instead keeping her attention on Mulder and watching as he digests the information.

He’s neutral. He’s seen it before, she realises.

“Think it’s aliens, Spooky?”

Right, time to bring out the nicknames. She throws Mulder an apologetic look as he places the folder down on the desk nearest to him.

“The name’s Mulder,” he says, voice calm and moving around Dana towards Davis. “Or Agent Mulder- whatever you prefer.”

She watches as Davis rolls his eyes.

“What should I call you?” he asks.

“Your girlfriend insists on calling me Davis but unlike you two, we at the Violent Crimes Section, believe co-workers should call each other by their first names so you can call me Joey.”

“Alright, Joey,” Mulder says, spitting out his name. Dana watches Davis shift uncomfortably and tries to hide her smile by looking down. “One other thing, Agent Scully isn’t my girlfriend, she never was, so you’ll pay her the respect she’s due and stop referring to her as such. Are we clear?”

Yet Davis still doesn’t seem to understand.

“You’re a field office agent now, Mulder. You’re not one of the big boys anymore.”

“You’re right,” Mulder says nodding. “But given that this is my field office you’ll start doing as I say. Clear?”

With nothing left to bite Davis grunts his reply.

“Good.” Mulder moves away, done with entertaining Davis. He picks up the folder again. “What’s your theory, Scully?”

It takes her a moment to realise Mulder’s asking what she thinks. So long being ignored, never being asked her opinion, when she is asked she’s never prepared.

“Um…” She takes the folder, breathing in to prepare herself before opening it up. Time to be an agent, Dana. You’re not a victim anymore. “I think…” She looks at the photos and tries to focus, her vision going blurry for a second. Blinking a few times. Come on…come on… “I think…”

“She thinks, she thinks!” cries Davis having gotten up from his chair and began pacing. “Well, spit out what you think then, Scully.”

She throws dagger towards Davis who misses them before turning back to the folder and regaining her thoughts.

“I think it’s just mutilations on corpses but it’ll probably escalate.”

“That’s right,” says Mulder, smiling at her.

Scully smiles back, pride running through her. She’s so compliment-starved it’s embarrassing.

“So he attacks dead people. Who cares? They’re dead anyway.”

Something within Scully snaps then. Her smile fades as she turns to Davis.

“Just because their dead doesn’t mean they don’t matter. They still mean something to people.”

Davis looks confused then sarcastically nods, like he’s figured it out.

“Ah right, the pathologist thing. This is why I told Fuller not to hire you, pathologists love dead people too much.”

Dana looks towards the floor again, her fire put out once more by a meaningless man’s meaningless words. She hadn’t even been thinking of this as a pathologist, she was thinking about her own father, of how he still means everything to her even though he’s gone, how she would detest something like this happening to him and an agent like Davis being put on the case.

“Alright Davis, that’s enough,” says Mulder, his voice hard and firm. Dana wants to sink away, back into a wall or the floor, just not be here.

“It’s late,” he continues. “Sleep will do everyone some good and we’ll continue tomorrow.”

Sleep, Dana thinks with a silent scoff. What’s that?

“That works with me,” says Agent Bocks who had remained quiet this entire time. It grabs his bag and his coat, says goodnight to Mulder and exits the office.

Davis makes some noise akin to agreeing and follows Bocks out the door.

Finally, it’s just the two of them.

And a silence.

Dana stays where she is, leaning against the desk, wanting to go but wanting to stay.

She’s tired and humiliated, scared and unsure about everything. It puts her on edge, has her catching Mulder through the corner of her eyes as he gathers up the files and places them into a folder on his desk.

“Well this is awkward,” he says once he’s finished his task. “I take it you have a motel to stay in?”

“Yeah,” is all Dana says.

Mulder nods. “Did you drive here?”

Dana shakes her head. “Davis drove us.” Which means he’s drove off now, leaving her stuck here. Great.

“Is Davis always this much of an ass?”

She scoffs. “They are all.” She occupies herself with fiddling with a pot of pens on the desk.

Mulder breathes out heavily, shaking his head and looking completely bewildered.

“VCS, Scully…”

Is this the time were he berates her? Tells her she’s siding with the bad guys? Not everything is about you, Mulder.

“I thought you would go back to Quantico, not to VCS.”

She’s done with people telling her what she should have done instead.

“Why? Because they there would be zero chance of you seeing me at all?” she snaps, turning towards him. “Why would a field office agent have any reason to go to Quantico?”

But he’s shaking his head at her. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Why not? You didn’t even have the decency to tell you where you were going now you try to decide where I should have went? Fuck you, Mulder!”

With that, she storms out of the office.

“Scully, wait!” Mulder shouts behind her. Her heeled feet clack against the floor and she walks quicker down the hall.

“Scully!” Mulder calls, having to run to catch up with her.

She throws open the doors, ignoring him.

“Scully, will you just hear me out, please.”

She spins, arms crossed. “What?”

He’s huffing and puffing and that’s so unlike Mulder.

“I’m not trying to tell you where you should have gone but I can see you’re unhappy and I don’t blame you, Davis is an asshole and, as you said, they all are. Why didn’t you leave?”

I can’t tell you that, Mulder, because you were born with a penis. Even your empathy doesn’t extend that far to understand.

“Just take me to the motel,” she says.

She can see Mulder wants to push her further but he doesn’t, instead he resigns himself and leads the way to his car.

.:.:.:.:.:.:.

This was a disaster.

He just wanted to know why she went down that path against one that she’s already experienced in. He didn’t mean to dictate where she should have gone.

He climbs into the drivers seat and looks over at her- faced away, arms crossed. Please don’t close yourself off to me, Scully. Not me.

“I didn’t tell you where I was going because I didn’t want you to find me. I’m poison, Scully.”

All I do is hurt you. Look at you now, you’re angry and upset because of me.

“Enough of the self-loathing shit, Mulder, it doesn’t work.”

Her words sting. He slams on the breaks at a red light, causing her to jolt towards and toss daggers towards him.

“What am I meant to do here, Scully?” he asks, fire running through him, just as strong as hers. “I can’t do anything right, can I? I leave, you’re angry, I come back, you’re angry.” He laughs, unbelieving. “I can ring up my SAC right now, request to be taken off this assignment but let me tell you, he’s just as much of a dick as your partner so who knows if he’ll actually allow it.”

“Davis isn’t my partner.”

He looks at her, dumbfounded for a moment that that’s all she can say.

“Only you could ever be my partner, Mulder, but I don’t think you could say the same for me. It’s green.”

A horn sounds behind them and Mulder’s gaze is immediately directed to the lights, to where it is, in fact, green.

“I left a note,” he says. “In the basement. Did you read it?”

“Turn left.”

He turns left, taking it as a no.

“I was only reiterating what I said- I left to keep you safe, to know that you were okay now.”

She shakes her head, continuing to look away from him.

“I’m glad I look okay to you, Mulder.”

Sarcasm. She doesn’t look okay. She looks thin- thinner than he’s ever seen her, her skin paler, her hair frizzier.

You used to be so put together, Scully. Did I do this to you?

“The building on the right,” she says.

He pulls over, parking in the parking lot, puts the car into neutral.

She makes no effort to move.

Mulder sighs, looking around. He looks at the motel, he won’t be getting out with her today, he’ll stay in the car, drive back to his apartment with his heart heavy and guilt as his companion.

“I was being serious,” he says, looking towards her. She stares straight ahead. “Do you want me to request removal from this case?”

A moment of silence, Mulder hoping she doesn’t say yes.

“No,” she finally says, her stare breaking. She shakes her head. “I want you on the case, Mulder,” she mutters.

Relief spreads through him as he smiles slightly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning then.”

Scully nods, unbeginning to unbuckle the seat belt.

“See you tomorrow.”

Mulder watches her exit the car. He doesn’t drive off until she’s made it to the doors and inside the building.

His heads falls into his hands.

This was a disaster.

[lovehugsandcandy]

One-on-One (ColtxMC, n*fw)

A/N: So the incomparable @omgjasminesimone has been keeping us FED rn (thank you, you are AMAZING) and then I saw there was a ColtxMC prompt she couldn’t fill (and I completely understand why) and...well....I hate to see my Colt stans go hungry. This is the AU scenario for “I’m a cheerleader, and you play basketball for the rival school. We’ve never spoken, but when you smile and wink at me like that I have a very hard time remembering not to cheer for you.” Anon, this is n*fw but, if that’s not your thing, lmk and I can easily cut that part out.

Length: ~3,500 words (why can’t I write something short, why why why?)

Rating: N*FW (Sex. Swearing. Fighting. Blood. Stupidity.)

Pairing: Colt x MC, RoD

Summary: Ellie cheers for the Langston basketball team, wholly focused on supporting them....right?

“I’ll be right back, I swear.”

“I can’t believe you-” The swinging doors cut Ingrid off as Ellie hustled out of the Langston basketball court. They had thirty minutes until the game started; the least she could do was get some studying done.

The opposing team filed past her as she rushed by, fresh off the bus and heading to their locker room. A few of the guys gave her the eye-God, she hated how short these skirts were- but she ignored them, ducking into the tiny room the Langston cheerleaders had commandeered as their own, quickly nabbing her textbook from her locker. 

When she emerged, chiding herself to return the book clutched to her chest before the game began, the hallway was empty except for one lone player, slowly making his way up the hall, eyes glued to his phone. The basketball jersey revealed very toned arms, but he didn’t even see her until he almost walked into her.

“Excuse you.” He looked up and Ellie froze as intense eyes widened above sculpted cheekbones. Her heart beat faster as he sized her up, smirking. “Quantum Mechanics. Really.”

“What?” Her eyes narrowed. Well, he was cute...before he spoke. “You think cheerleaders are all dumb or something?”

“You said it, sweetheart, not me.”

“Excuse me?” 

“I mean, your sport is clapping for other people while they do sports,” he scoffed. “I’m not sure that intelligence-”

“I will have you know that cheerleading is physically demanding and mentally taxing.”

He raised his arms, palms up, placating her with a nod. “I’m not saying it isn’t. Christ, I’m not blind. I know how hard it is. I just think that, with all the talent and hard work, you all would realize that you’re capable of much more than sitting courtside.”

She opened her mouth and paused. It seemed like there was a backhanded compliment somewhere in there, but she was too taken aback to parse through the sass.

“Ha,” he taunted, “especially sitting courtside while we kick Langston’s ass.”

“Excuse me?” Her eyes narrowed. “That’s not gonna-”

“Oh, it’ll happen.”

“You so sure about it?”

“I am.” His eyes lingered on her face, stopping intently on her lips before pulling back up to meet her glare. “How about this?” He stepped closer and Ellie suddenly realized how alone they were. The hallway was completely deserted; the other players were in their locker rooms, the spectators were waiting for the first jump, and it was just her and this mysterious, challenging rival. “Let’s make a bet on it, then.”

“You’re on.”

“Ok…” He smiled, a slow widening of his lips; her stomach lurched. “If we win, you give me a kiss.”

“What?” she sputtered.“You’re not gonna win.”

“Oh, we will.”

She rolled her eyes. “Ok. Fine. And when Langston wins?”

“Then I give you a kiss.”

“What?!? No way! It sounds like you always win here.”

“Oh, no.” He stepped even closer to positively purr in her ear. “You always win. Cuz I’m gonna kiss you so good you forget your own name.” Her breath caught as his teeth slid down her earlobe and she had to stop her traitorous fingers from curving in the number on his jersey.

He stepped back with a smirk, and Ellie had to consciously force breath through suddenly dry lips. With a wink, he turned down the hallway; she had to wait for her heart to stop racing until her feet followed.

~~~~~

Ellie tried to ignore him, but it was practically impossible. She was supposed to be cheering for her own school, but the mysterious boy was omnipresent, all over the court and her thoughts. Every time their eyes met, he shot her a wink, whether he was sitting on the bench, jogging up-court after a layup, or once even mid-pass, flipping the ball behind a defender while his eyes were solely trained on her.

She couldn’t focus. She could barely pay attention to her own team when it felt like her eyes were searching for his every second.

The worst was during the halftime show, when his haughty gaze found hers mid-split. The quirk of his eyebrows and the way his eyes suggestively traced down her legs made it very clear exactly what he was thinking. 

And if it wasn’t, the lascivious, exaggerated wink left no doubt.

Her face burned through the rest of the routine and she was grateful to slump to her seat, her roommate sliding next to her.

“Did Colt Kaneko just wink at you?”

Ellie took a giant gulp of water, stalling, as Ingrid’s suspicious eyes poured into her. “Who?”

“Who?!? Colt Kaneko, that’s who. He’s only the best point guard in the state.”

Ellie shrugged. She wasn’t blind; he obviously had talent. He was fast, weaving between defenders as if they were standing still. His passes were on target, and he shot a decent three. But his biggest talent, as far as she could tell, was his brain. He read the court well, seemingly able to project where a Langston player would sprint and then pass the ball a split-second before they arrived, leaving them flailing in midair. It was almost surgical, the way he presciently  mapped the progression of the play before it occurred, as if he could read minds.

She was almost impressed.

His talents continued through the entire game until, eight minutes into the fourth period, the Langston center lunged hard, roughly fouling Colt at the arc; Ellie winced as they both went crashing down, shrill shriek of sneakers and thud of bodies on parquet audible even over the ref’s whistle.

“What the fuck?” Colt was up like a shot, on his feet and livid, the Langston center following, jerkily, gargantuan hands tucked into weighty fists. “What the fuck was that foul?”

“You got a problem, man?”

She sucked in a breath as the indistinct jawing turned into shoving. “Colt!” she shouted but it was lost in the jeering of the crowd. Their center had almost a foot on him; what the hell was he even thinking?

The ref raced over, whistle screaming shrilly in his mouth, but he wasn’t fast enough, The shoves turned into a full-on brawl, fists flying in a crowd of muscled bodies as more and more players joined in. She leapt to her feet but, in the rush of jerseys, it was hard to see exactly what was happening, both teams crowding around, obscuring her view of the fight at the center.

Finally, when the refs got the situation under control, her heart dropped. Colt was still furious, the blood streaming down his face not stopping him from a heated conversation with the ref, while the Langston center fared no better, hand covering a cut on his forehead while his split lip looked like it would need stitches.

They were both led away, ejected, Colt gesturing sharply the entire way. But right before they showed him the door, he looked back, eyes searching the crowd until they met hers. His face fell, and he had the sense to look ashamed for a moment before he was herded out the door.

~~~~~

Ellie’s leg bounced, nervously waiting for the final whistle. She kept cheering, pom-poms high in the air, but it was half-hearted. Langston was down by five and, with no fouls to give and no timeouts, the ending was basically locked up. Once the stopwatch clanged, groans roaring from the crowd as the Langston loss was official, she sprang to her feet, relieved that the game was finally over. With a weak goodbye to Ingrid thrown over her shoulder, she pushed through the crowd, heading away from exits, down the deserted halls towards the locker rooms.

A crowd of opposing players bounced by her, jauntily celebrating their victory, but she paid them no mind, turning the corner and stopping short as she spied a familiar figure reclining on a bench, long legs sprawled on the tile floor as he held a towel to his nose.

His eyes widened, and he stood as she approached. “You came...” His voice caught with wonder until a familiar smirk split his face. “I thought I lost my shot.”

“You are an idiot.”

“Hey! An idiot who kicked Langston’s ass.”

“What?!? You got ejected from the game!  It devolved into a fistfight between two absolute  morons!”

“We still won though.” He stood, blood-stained towel dabbing at his nose. “So where’s my kiss?”

Her jaw dropped. “Are you- urgh. Your nose is still bleeding. I’m not- Christ, come here.” She grabbed his bicep and pulled, fingers digging into the cut of solid muscle as she dragged him through the door of the visitor’s locker room.

“I’m not so sure you’re supposed to be in here.”

“Shut it.” She sped by the lockers to the bathroom, walking past the showers to grab some toilet paper. “Let me see.”

He stood dutifully still as she swiped at his nose, hand on his chin turning his face side-to-side as she assessed the bruising. The blood had stopped flowing, thankfully, a tiny stain of red under one nostril all that remained of his stupid brawl.

“You’re lucky it’s not broken,” she huffed

He shrugged. “Would have been worth it.”

He was so close to her, again, a wall of heat and muscle in front of her, looking down with a gleam in his eyes and a smirk on his lips.”You’d break your nose for a win?"

“Or for a kiss.”

She was beginning to hate that smirk...or hate how much she liked it. Rolling her eyes, she stepped forward, meeting his lips in the briefest of pecks. When she stepped back, his jaw dropped. “You really did it…” he wondered aloud.

She quirked a shoulder, turning to go. “Why not?” A hand on her arm stopped her and, in the next instant, his lips were on hers faster than she could process. Her previous quick kiss meant nothing. But this? God. His lips captured hers as if he had been waiting all game just to swallow the needy moans from her mouth. Her hands flew to his hair, silken strands tangling in her fingers as his palms wrapped around her hip bones, pulling her flush against him as his lips never left hers, tongue teasing the seam until her lips parted, making her brain short circuit.

He pulled back and her eyes fluttered open, breath coming fast. “Wait, what’s your name?” he asked.

“Uhh...Ellie?”

“Dammit. You still remember.” And with that, sturdy hands were pushing her against the wall so his lips could meet hers again, pulling the breath from her lungs before sliding up her jaw, down her neck, teasing bites and kisses making her tangle her hands in his jersey, pulling him closer. Grinding her hips, she felt his cock twitch and her head fell back against the wall, heat flaring up her spine.

“Colt?” Oh my God, her voice was weak, barely a whine, and she would have been embarrassed had his hands not been tracing winding paths up the back of her shirt, sliding between uniform and skin in a blazing trail of heat. She pulled again on his jersey, tucking her hands underneath to trace the sculpted muscles hiding beneath. “Colt, please?”

She almost complained at the loss of his mouth on her neck when he ducked away; but when she caught sight of him pulling his shirt over his head, the words caught in her mouth. He was all lean muscle, broad shoulders, cut abs, and her fingers twitched to trace down the v-shape that led into his shorts.

“Goddamn,” she murmured.

The haughty grin was back. “Like what you see?”

She didn’t answer, only pulled him closer to trail desperate fingertips past the elastic of his shorts, teasing at soft skin, and it was like a switch had been flipped. He yanked her shirt over her head, sports bra flying away next as his lips descended to suck a nipple into his mouth. Sneakers were next, kicked off as his teeth dug possessively into her stomach before going even lower, kneeling as his lips stopped at the waist of her cheer skirt.

“Fuck, I like this skirt,” he growled, palms running up her inner thigh. “I’m gonna fuck you in it next time.”

“Next time?” She could barely speak. Fuck, she could barely breathe. “What next time?”

“They’ll be a next time,” he vowed, and the smirk was back as he pulled, shucking every stitch off her and himself before he returned to the ground, tongue tracing a meandering path up her thighs as she shivered, pulling at his hair as his mouth edged closer, until finally, finally, his lips slid over sensitive skin, then through her folds, then zeroing in on her clit, gentle suction making her eyes fly shut.

Body quivering, her vision went dark as her nails dug sharp crescents into his shoulders. She tried to pull him closer, fingers moving with a mind of their own as his tongue found her clit and the room spun. Thank God he was holding her up, strong hands spread over her thighs, pressing her against the wall; she was inches from melting into the floor, his tongue flicking against where she was most sensitive and drawing designs that made her nerves sing in response. She was so focused on her peak, hurtling towards her like a freight train, that she almost didn’t hear the slamming of the locker room door.

“Kaneko? You still in here?”

She opened her eyes, struggling to get air in her lungs. “Shit! I’m not supposed to be-”

“I know, I know,” he whispered and stood, eyes frantically searching the room before he pulled her into a shower stall, quickly shoving the dingy curtain shut behind them.

“What are you-?”

“Shhh,” he hissed and turned the shower on, boxing her against the wall.

“He’s gonna-”

His hands were on her bare waist and she swallowed as he leaned against her. “Shhh, he’s not gonna come in here.” The water was falling behind him, a steady stream turning warmer and sluicing over the back of his head. 

She put her hands through his wet hair and pulled him closer. “Fine,” she murmured into his mouth before finding his lips again.

“Kaneko, you in here?”

Colt pulled back and glared at the flimsy curtain, all that separated her from definite expulsion from the cheer team. “Yeah, Coach,” he called, “I’m in the shower.”

The footsteps got closer. “Uh oh. He’s gonna see my feet,” Ellie hissed, peering through the steam starting to fill the stall. She couldn’t see anyone but there was movement, steadily getting closer, and her fingers tensed into his sides.

He stared at her, question in his eyes, hands traveling to the back of her thighs.

She stared back for a beat before nodding. “Please. God, yes, please.”

His lip quirked and, before she knew it, he lifted, picking her up so her back hit the wall, her legs circled around his waist, and his cock slowly slide through her folds. She had to bite his shoulder to muffle the whimper from her mouth as his cock stretched her walls, back arching, legs tightening, every part of her pulling him even closer as he thrust..

“Fuck…” he growled in her ear, “you feel incredible.”

“What did you say?” the Coach shouted.

“I said,” Colt coughed, and it took him a second to compose his voice. “I said...let me finish my shower.”

The footsteps stopped. Ellie heard a weary sigh just outside the room; she didn’t dare to move, to breathe, though it was hard to stifle the sounds when Colt swiveled his hips in tiny circles. “The bus leaves in five minutes.”

“Five minutes?” Colt smirked at her and another pivot had her mouth falling open. “I mean, I hope I’m not that quick.”

“What? Just….just hurry the fuck up.” Thankfully, the steps receded until the locker room door slammed.

“That was close.” Colt breathed a sigh of relief. “I thought he would never leave.”

“Colt?”

“Yeah?”

“Just fuck me.”

“Demanding…” He rolled his hips again and her back pushed against him, wordlessly begging for more. The tile behind her was cool but she was burning, fire of his hands tight on her thighs, his lips tracing scorching lines down her jaw, flame engulfing every nerve endings. Even the water couldn’t cool her as it continued falling, soaking his hair, tiny rivulets dripping off his face and onto her chest; Colt followed each one with his tongue as his hips moved, demanding, pushing her back against the wall with each targeted thrust.

“Colt...oh my God, Colt, please!”

“I love how you moan my name, fuck.” He moved faster, and she clung to him. The rhythm of his hips was making needy sounds pour out of her mouth and, now, she didn’t have to be quiet. His name echoed off the bathroom tile, in a frenzied tone she had never heard leave her throat, and she dimly hoped that everyone else was far, far from the locker room hallway.

“Fuck, Ellie.” He moved, somehow balancing her against the wall while one hand slid down her stomach, then lower, thumb finding her clit. She keened. She couldn’t think, his cock driving inside her, his thumb keeping a steady frantic beat against her, it was all too much; all she could do was cling to his shoulders as he swiveled his hips just so and the world exploded, stars raining down where water had been, her body shaking so wildly that she almost missed Colt’s groan in her ear, strained and gruff as he pulsed inside her.

The world stopped spinning and was eventually, blessedly still. The only sound was the shower, water pattering against tile, and the soft breath, low in her ear. She felt drained, weak in the best way, and she let her head fall against the wall as Colt peeled off of her. Her legs were spasming when he lowered her to the ground; she had to clutch his shoulder with a tight fist before she regained the ability to move.

When her legs were able to support her weight, he stepped back into the spray of the water, shaking his head so water streamed in wild droplets from his hair before he pulled her under as well, folding muscular arms around her waist as the warm water poured through her hair.

“So…” he mused, running his hands down her back. “Quantum Physics? Really?”

“What is your problem?” She pushed at his shoulder. “Apparently cheerleaders can be smart too, you know.”

“Hey, no problem here. I like smart girls.”

“Then yes, Quantum Physics. I’m a Biomechanical Engineering major.”

“Damn. Sexy.”

Her head shot up, and it took a second to realize that he was being genuine, warmth in his eyes making her flush. She swallowed. “What’s your deal, then? Ingrid said you’re the best point guard in the state.”

He shrugged. “Is that your blond friend?”

“How did you….oh yeah. You watched me all freaking game.”

“I noticed you before that.” The tips of his ears reddened. Ellie blinked.

“What...what do you mean?”

“We played you earlier in the season, back home.” He shrugged, fixing his gaze on the knob as he turned the shower off. “All the other cheerleaders hung outside, flirting with the players. And you were studying on the bus.”

Ellie stared at his back as he pushed through the curtain “Wait a minute…” They had traveled upstate, earlier in the season, but she barely remembered the trip. She had spent the entire time cramming, spending every spare second with her nose in formulas and problem sets. “I had a big orgo test the next day.”

He shrugged, handing her a towel as she stepped out. “I scored 30 points, and you didn’t even look at me.”

“Maybe you need to do more than that to impress me.”

“Noted.” He held her gaze so long that she had to look away, fiddling with her skirt before sliding it over her hips.

“We should…” She tried not to blush but the way he was gawking at her, watching her put her uniform back on? It was a struggle. “We should go.”

“Yeah.” He nodded and tossed his towel in the hamper. As he passed by her, he muttered, “Damn shame though.” She chuckled ruefully as she watched him open a locker and dig out a change of clothes.

Once they were both as decent as possible, they headed back out into the hall, heading towards the entrance. She was cognizant that each step towards the door was a step closer to the end of this fling. 

“You gonna be at nationals?” He shoved his hands in his pockets, biting his lip.

“Yeah, definitely.” Langston only had to win one more game to make it to the playoffs; with five games left in the season, it was a lock. “We’re gonna win it all this year.”

He pushed the door open, and they stepped into the blinding sun. “Really?”

“Even if I have to get on the court myself, we’re beating you.” His bus was waiting, the coach busy scribbling on a clipboard.

“Ha. A little one-on-one?” Gentle fingers circled her wrist, and he pulled her closer, smirk back on his face. “I could take you.”

“You sure about that?”

“Guess we’ll have to see.” He tilted her head up to capture her lips again; Ellie could dimly hear shouting coming from the bus but, with his fingers stroking up the back of her shirt to tease bare skin, it didn’t matter. Nothing did except his lips on hers and the roaring in her ears. “I’m gonna get in trouble for cavorting with the enemy.” He spoke against her mouth and she had to taste the smile on his lips, one last time.

“Especially if we win at Nationals.”

He squeezed her fingers between his own before walking over to the bus. She had just turned away when he called after her, “How ‘bout this?” 

“What?” She stopped to look over her shoulder, taking in the laughing smirk and gleam in his eyes.

“I’ll see you at Nationals. And if we win, you owe me a kiss.”

.

Tags

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ROD @omgjasminesimone @mskaneko @lovemychoices @burnsoslow

Colt

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[karasuno-chaos]

Summer Heat (Noya x Reader)

I just survived a heat streak that felt like it lasted FOREVER so have some fluff with Best Boy Noya trying to beat the heat. -Giz

Word Count: 2,601

“It’s sooo hot,” your boyfriend complained for the fifth time since leaving the convenience store.  You had gone to buy more popsicles to try and beat the heat.  Noya had eaten his in two bites.  You were desperately trying not to let what was left of yours melt all over your hand.

It was ridiculously hot and had been for the past two days.  The forecast promised the heat would continue.  You weren’t sure how your boyfriend would survive.  Noya naturally ran warm, but he was also incredibly tactile.  This heat made it too hot to hold hands and cuddle comfortably, and you could tell that was part of what bothered him so much about this weather.

“Want another popsicle?” you offered.

“No,” he sighed.  “I’d just like this damn heat to go away.”

“Me too.”  You stuck the now-bare popsicle stick in your mouth to suck the rest of the flavor out of it.  “It’s so hot I don’t want to do anything but sit in front of the fan all day.”

“It makes life boring.”

He looked so disappointed that you took pity on him and slipped your hand into his.  He shot you a brief, bright smile.  Something of his normal bounce returned, and he swung your arms gently as you walked the last few blocks home.

A few minutes later, you were both lying on the floor in front of a fan pretending the blowing air was effectively counteracting the heat.

“We could watch a movie,” you suggested.  You were trying to brainstorm things to do with minimal discomfort.

“But we can’t cuddle,” he pouted.  He had hooked his pinky with yours to appease his need for physical contact.  You chuckled.

“We don’t cuddle for half of the movie anyways because you get so into things.  You’re always jumping up and yelling at the TV.”

“That’s not true.”

“It’s okay babe.”  You shifted a bit to kiss his cheek.  “Besides, I’m not sure I’m in the mood for a movie right now.”

“It’s hard to be in the mood for anything because it’s so damn hot,” he sighed.

You lapsed into resigned silence, the hum of the fan on high a constant reminder of nature’s rebellion against acceptable temperatures.  You wanted to do something more than just complain.  Noya would be leaving for a training camp in Tokyo tomorrow, and your parents were visiting friends out of town for the night, so this was prime date time.  If only you could ignore this insufferable heat.

“Too bad we don’t live near a beach,” you sighed, attempting to stretch away the discomfort.  “Then at least we could go swimming.”

“We could go to the pool.”

“It’ll be super crowded on a day like today.  Besides, last time I went to the pool, I got kicked in the nose by a kid.”

“What?”  Noya sat up quickly to look at you.  “When was this?”

“The end of last summer.  I wasn’t paying enough attention and got too close to the back end of a flutter kick.”

“Are you okay?”

“It was nearly a year ago,” you laughed.  “Of course I’m okay.”

“Did the kid apologize?”

“I don’t really remember.”  You saw your boyfriend’s eyes narrow.  “I’m sure he did.”

“He better have.”

“Babe, it’s cute that you’re so ready to defend me, but we’re not going to track down some kid who accidentally kicked me a year ago to make him apologize.”

“I wasn’t going to track him down,” he grumbled, though you were sure the thought had crossed his mind.  “You just never know if kids these days know what proper respect is.”

“Those darn kids today,” you grouched in an impression of a grumpy old man that may have sounded something like his grandpa.  That wiped the scowl from his face.

The silence lapsed between you again, and you went back to wracking your brain for something to do.  Time passed slowly in the heat, but it was still ticking away.  Eventually Noya would have to leave to finish packing and sleep before his early morning departure.  You were excited he’d get to train and play against strong opponents, but you would miss him while he was at training camp.  Even if you weren’t doing anything right now, it was more enjoyable than being apart from him.

“I’ve got it!”  Noya sat up again with such speed he blurred momentarily.

“What?”

“I know how to beat the heat.  Maybe.”  He turned to you with an excited glint in his eyes.  “Sit tight babe.  I’ll be right back.”

Before you could ask where he was going, he had dropped a quick kiss on your lips and taken off.  You sighed, but his spontaneity was one of the many things you loved about him.  You would just wait and see what grand idea had struck him.  Either it would be brilliant or stupid, but it was guaranteed to be amusing.

You spent the next twenty-five minutes trying to ignore the discomfort of the heat.  You scrolled through your favorite social media feeds, thought briefly about what you wanted to do for dinner, and debated sticking your head under the faucet to cool down.  For a while, you lay in front of the fan making noises into the fins to amuse yourself with the distorted feedback.  There were only so many things to occupy you in this heat, especially when you were curious to know what your boyfriend was up to.

You were debating texting him for an update when you heard someone call your name from outside.  You hauled yourself to your feet and went to investigate.

“You’re back!” you greeted, discovering your boyfriend holding a large cardboard box.  “And you found a Tanaka.  Hi Ryuu.”

“Hey Y/N.”  He was also holding a large box.  You weren’t particularly surprised to see him as you had been best friends with him since your first year at Karasuno.  Even after you and Noya became official, it never felt like Tanaka was a third wheel when all of you hung out.

“Babe, go change into your swimsuit and meet us in the back,” Noya instructed.

“Why?  What are you up to?”

“You’ll see.”

You trusted him enough not to demand further explanation.  A few minutes later, you were grabbing some towels and heading to meet the boys in the back.

“Alright, I’m here,” you announced, dropping the towels in the doorway as you stepped onto the grass.

“Think fast!”

You shrieked in surprise when something collided with your side and burst, splashing you with water.

“Too slow,” Noya chuckled, already arming himself with another water balloon from one of the boxes.

“Wait, you have to give me a chance to put up a fair fight!” you laughed.  “I’m not prepared!”

“All’s fair in love and war,” he quipped.  He launched another balloon at you, but you were able to jump away so it burst on the ground instead.  Before he could take aim again, Tanaka nailed him in the middle of his back.

“Go Y/N!  I’ll distract him!”

“Bro, the betrayal!”  Noya threw his next one at Tanaka who was already armed for a follow-up strike.  His efforts distracted your boyfriend enough for you to grab a few water balloons and jump into the fray.

The three of you ran around your yard pelting water balloons at each other.  Even though it was still oppressively hot, it was a lot of fun, and getting splashed repeatedly with water did a lot to cool you down.  You cackled when you hit your target and yelped when you got nailed in return.  There was always a chance to get back at them because you had a seemingly endless supply of ammunition.  You didn’t know where they’d gotten so many water balloons, but they were effectively keeping you cool and entertained.

Suddenly you heard a surprised shout from Tanaka.  An errant balloon was making its way towards a glass garden decoration that was an anniversary gift from your father to your mother--definitely not something you wanted to break.  You rushed forward to try and intercept it, but you were on the opposite side of the yard.  You wouldn’t get to it in time.

“Rolling thunder!”

Noya reacted immediately, flying into his signature receive.  You were always in awe of his reflexes, and you were particularly thankful for them now.  He rolled into position, prepared to bump the balloon away only to have it burst against his forearms.

The three of you blinked, processing the last few seconds before you and Tanaka burst into relieved laughter.

“Wait, wait, I want to try that again.  Toss me another one.”  Noya crouched in his ready position.

“Really?” Tanaka asked.

“Yeah, I want to see if I can actually receive one.”

“It’ll probably just burst in your face again,” you warned.

“That just makes it more fun.”

“Okay, but maybe we should move away from breakable things first.”

After picking a less dangerous part of the yard, you and Tanaka took turns tossing balloons.  The next few minutes were filled with shouts of “rolling thunder” and bursting balloons and laughter.  Every once in a while, Noya managed to send it back, but it burst as soon as someone else touched it.

“They’re too unstable for a proper volley,” Tanaka sighed while wiping some water from his face.

“Come on, there are a few balloons left.  Let’s keep trying!” your boyfriend insisted.

“Ryuu, try spiking a few at him,” you suggested, tossing to your friend instead.  The failures were more spectacular when they were spikes instead of receives.  Water cascaded in sparkling arcs and tickled all three of you.  When Tanaka did get a spike in, the balloon usually burst against Noya’s forearms.  There were a few times he managed to get it airborne again only for it to split before you could get to it.

You could see the bottom of the remaining box of balloons.  Now that you weren’t the target, you were drying off and starting to feel the heat again.  You were getting thirsty.  You remembered that you had a watermelon in the fridge.  Maybe you’d cut it up after this and share some with the boys.

“Y/N!  Set it!  Set it!”

Suddenly both Noya and Tanaka were shouting to you.  A water balloon was travelling in a graceful arc toward you, sent on its way by your boyfriend’s successful receive.  You had just enough time to throw up your hands and get your fingertips under it to try and send it back to Tanaka.  Of course it chose to burst the moment you put pressure on it, dumping all of its contents on you.

“No!” Tanaka cried.  “We were so close!”

“You good babe?” Noya asked, stepping toward you.

“Yeah,” you laughed, wiping your face.  “I just wasn’t ready for it.”

“We’ve got seven more balloons,” Tanaka announced.

“Let’s see if we can get it with the next one.”

Seven balloons later, you had attempted another set which burst in your face.  The other attempts had ended well short of getting to you.  You were a little disappointed you hadn’t succeeded, but if you were being honest, you hadn’t expected any of the balloons to hold up to both a spike and a receive.

“Argh, we were so close!” Tanaka griped.

“We could go buy more balloons,” Noya suggested.

“Or you two could pick up all of the bits on the ground so we don’t murder any birds.  I’m going to cut up some watermelon.”

“Sounds like a fair trade.”

You rubbed yourself down with one of the towels and picked bits of grass off of your feet before heading inside.  A few minutes later, you reemerged with a tray of watermelon and glasses of water.  The boys were just finishing the cleanup.

“You missed one,” you teased, sitting down in the shade.

“We were getting to it.”  Noya grabbed an orange scrap before scanning the yard for others.

“That’s probably good enough.  I can grab whatever’s left later.”  You gestured to the tray of snacks.  “Come get some watermelon before it warms up.”

The three of you munched in the shade, chatting and competing to see who could spit their seeds the farthest.  The sun had started its descent, alleviating some of the brutality of the heat.  It was fun to hang out with the boys after an afternoon of activity.

“So Ryuu, are you ready for Tokyo?”

“Hell yeah!  We’re going to show those city boys how volleyball is really played.”  He spat another seed a respectable distance.

“Yeah, we’re going to kick their asses!” Noya whooped.

“I wish I could go with you guys.  It sounds like a lot of fun.”

“Nah,” Tanaka scoffed, “it’ll just be a lot of sweaty guys hitting balls, talking smack, and complaining about the heat and sore muscles.”

“It still sounds more fun than staying here.”

“You could’ve joined us if you’d become our manager,” Noya reminded you.

“Yeah, yeah.”  It was a conversation you’d had quite often at the beginning of your first year and intermittently since.  “I have to look after you two all day at school and half of the time when we’re not at school.  Someone else can watch you for a few hours during volleyball.”

“Are you saying you get tired of us?”  Noya pouted comically.

“You, no,” you reassured him with a kiss on the cheek.  “Ryuu?  Maybe.”

“Hey!”

“I’m kidding,” you laughed.  “You know I love you Ryuu.  I just love Yuu more.”

“Okay, if you’re going to get all couple-y then I’m leaving.”  Tanaka stood and stretched.  “I have to get ready for tomorrow anyway.”

You said goodbye to your friend before bringing the empty glasses inside, depositing the watermelon rinds in the compost along the way.  Your boyfriend delivered the used towels to the washroom before joining you in the kitchen to help with the cleanup.  You paused in your washing to give him a kiss.

“What was that for?” he asked, a bright grin spreading across his face.

“Can’t I just kiss my boyfriend if I feel like it?”

“Of course!”  He wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you in for another kiss.  You leaned in for more.

Half an hour later, the dishes were finally done and you were walking Noya to the door.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay here alone?” he asked.  “You could come over, at least for dinner.”

“I’ll be fine,” you reassured him.  “Besides, if I joined you, you’d never pack or get enough sleep before your trip, and I don’t want you to be wiped for your first day of training camp.”

“I don’t want to leave you, though,” he whined, pulling you into a tight hug.  “I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too,” you sighed.  “But it’ll only be for a week.”

“Don’t forget about me, okay?”

“I could never,” you promised, giving him a kiss before stepping back.  “I’ll get more balloons for after your trip, so practice your receives.”

“I’m going to get so good, I’ll bump every balloon back to you.”

“I look forward to it,” you called as he started heading home.  About three houses away, he turned back to look at you.

“Hey Y/N!”

“Yeah?”

“I love you!”

“I love you too!” you shouted.  He laughed and did a happy little leap before continuing on his way.  You watched him until he was out of sight.  When you turned to go back inside, you were feeling warm from something other than the heat.

[solediem]

when brush meets canvas; a collection of thoughts and happenings ( @solivaganted​​ )

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   five years ago, snu campus tour

he’s  not  listening. ethan  liu  has  the  attention span  of  a  a  goldfish when  it  comes  to  irrelevant things.  there’s  the  center  of  the  campus, there’s  the  café  (there’s  great coffee  there!),  dorms are  that  way,  class  buildings one  and  two  over  there  (  “  they’re  close  together  so  you  don’t  miss  classes!” )  …  so  on  and  so  forth. he  can  keep  pace  with  the  group  well  enough on  auto-pilot.  the  ‘highlights’  of  the  greater campus  are  irrelevant to  a  student who  plans  to  spend  four  semesters  holed  up  in  a  dorm  room.

“  sorry!  i’m  so  sorry!! “

he’s  rather  responsive for  someone  on  auto-pilot.  she  crashes  into  him  out  of  nowhere. his  arms  reach  out  to  catch  her  and  stabilize them  both.  it’s  not  until  after  he’s  done  it  that  ethan  truly  realizes that  something  happened, and  he’s  got  his  arms  around  a  brunette  who’s  expression  reads  utterly  horrified by  her  own  actions.

he  lets  her  go,  waving it  off,  “it’s  fine.  you’re alright?”

yes  she’s  alright, and  she’s  very  sorry,  and  she’s  sometimes so  clumsy,  and  she  wants  to  make  it  up.  ethan  continues to  wave  her  off,  shaking his  head  because it  really  is  fine.  it  takes  some  talking  down,  but  she  ultimately  accepts it,  and  she  shifts  herself off  to  the  side  a  bit  so  she’s  not  walking  so  closely  to  the  man  she’d  just  collapsed  into.  

ethan  sighs.  the  walk  continues. now  they  know  of  each  other’s  existence; any  time  they  catch  glances he  gives  a  small  nod  and  she  alternates  between mouthing  ‘sorry!’  and  giving  him  a  gentle smile.  he  finds  it  funny. and  it  makes  the  rest  of  the  tour  considerably less  grating.

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   five years ago, coffee shop

ahh.  that’s  why  she  asked  what  my  coffee  order  is  the  other  day.

leia  is  settled at  a  small  café  table  –  in  front  of  her  a  tall  glass  of  iced  coffee  and  a  slice  of  crumb  cake.  across from  her  in  front  of  the  opposite, empty  chair  is  another  cup  –  this  one  a  large  ceramic cappuccino  mug  with  two  slices of  lime  set  on  a  separate  dish  to  the  side.  it  too  is  accompanied  by  a  slice  of  cake.

“  did  you  wait  long  ??  “  he  asks

she  didn’t  wait  long  at  all,  she  just  got  there  a  little  early  and  decided to  order  for  them!  she’s  fine  with  paying  for  it,  and  ethan  certainly shouldn’t  worry.  she  hopes  she  ordered  the  right  thing, she’d  written  down  what  he  said  a  few  days  ago  about  liking  to  mix  lime  into  his  coffee.  she  thinks  it’s  very  interesting, and  she  almost ordered  it  herself. and  she’s  talking and  rambling  to  much  and  she’s  sorry.

ethan  is  to  used  to  her  by  now  to  be  phased. he  simply  sits  in  front  of  her,  lets  her  ramble  a  minute  while  he  adds  the  lime  to  his  drink  and  takes  a  fork  to  the  cake.  after  a  moment  she’s  quiet,  shyly  looking  down  at  her  own  setting. ethan  shakes  his  head.

“  you  worry  to  much.  “

she  knows.  she  can’t  help  it.  

“  i  owe  you  for  this.  “

no  he  doesn’t! it’s  completely  fine.  she  doesn’t mind.  and  ethan  doesn’t  care,  as  he’s  already  reaching across  the  table  to  pocket the  receipt. leia  sighs  a  bit.  she  just  wanted to  be  nice.  ethan  tells  her  she’s  nice  without trying,  and  it’s  one  of  the  many  reasons  he  likes  being  around  her.

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   five years ago, leia’s apartment

leia  is  rambling, as  she  always is.  only  this  time  she  rambles  while  dumping  new  dishware  into  the  sink  and  unpacking boxes  of  this  and  that  and  things from  home  into  cabinets  and  into  drawers. ethan  is  listening, as  he  always is.

if  he  doesn’t want  to  enroll in  snu,  then  he  shouldn’t! he  should  definitely join  two  star  if  that’s what  feels  right. and  she’s  supportive of  his  decision. and  yes,  it’ll  be  harder to  start  school without  him  if  he  chooses not  to  go,  but  she’ll be  alright!  and  they  can  still  text  and  hang  out,  and  everything  would  be  fine.  and  she’s  seen  some  of  the  lyrics  he  wrote!  and,  oh,  they’re so  good  no  wonder  two  star  entertainment extended  him  a  contract!  

she’s  practically  bouncing up  in  down,  bubbling  up  with  all  the  excitement one  would  expect ethan  to  have  after  receiving a  personal  invitation from  the  company’s ceo.  but  he’s  just  standing there  with  his  arms  crossed, watching  her  with  one  brow  arced  and  a  smile  tugging  at  the  corners of  his  mouth.

“  when  was  the  last  time  you  took  a  breath?”

leia  pauses,  her  body  going  stiff  for  a  moment as  she  manually takes  in  a  breath,  then  lets  it  out  again  with  an  embarrassed  smile. she’s  just  so  happy  for  him.  and  she  wants  what’s  best  for  him  and  wants  what  makes  him  happy. ethan  moves  towards her  and  puts  his  arms  around  her  waist.

“  i  have  a  lot  to  be  happy  about  these  days.  “

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   four years ago, leia’s apartment

over  the  past  year  or  so,  ethan  has  come  to  learn  how  every  aspect  of  leia  is  soft  –  lips,  voice,  demeanor.  more  recently,  he’s  learned  that  the  rest  of  her  body  is  no  different.  the  discovery  wasn’t  by  chance.  it  was  planned  and  executed  with  comfort  and  assuredness  in  mind.  the  location,  however,  was  a  bit  unplanned  –  the  intent  had  been  the  bedroom,  but  the  living  ended  up  serving  just  as  well.  and  that,  ironically,  turned  out  to  be  for  the  best  as  ethan  discovered  something  else  that  very  same  afternoon.

leia’s  back  is  a  wonderful  canvas.  the  better  part  of  the  next  hour  had  been  spent  in  quiet  conversation  as  he  brushed  unplanned,  but  ornate  designs  onto  her  skin.

“  it  washes  off.  “

she  knows.  she  wouldn’t  really  have  let  him  do  it  if  it  was  permanent.  or  maybe  she  would  have.  maybe  his  art  would’ve  become  a  beautiful  back  tattoo.  she  wants  a  picture  of  it  when  it’s  done,  because  she  can’t  see  for  herself  what  she’s  doing  and  it’d  be  a  shame  to  wash  all  his  hard  work  away  without  remembering  it.

why  do  i  love  you  so  much?

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   two and a half years ago, leia’s apartment

he’s debuting! she’s so excited, and she always knew it would happen. there’s no way ethan would’ve gotten two invitations to the company if they didn’t want him. imagine how different things would’ve been if he’d gone to snu instead! she misses him a bit when she’s alone on campus, and she does sometimes think it would’ve been fun to go together. no wait! oh, she didn’t mean to say that. she shouldn’t have said it, and she doesn’t want him to worry about her. because she’s fine! she’s doing great on her own! she’s only got a couple more years and then she’ll be graduating, and everything will be fine.

“ i’m moving into the dorm this week. “

she’ll help him pack!

“ you can’t come to the trainee dorms, leia, i’ll get in trouble.”

oh right.

her smile is still soft and gentle. their relationship had been quiet and incredibly comfortable til now. never something either of them spoke to openly about. not out of shame, but just out of natural inclination to not speak to often about personal matters to other people. but now it’s necessity.

“ …. no one knows about you except hyunsik. i think it needs to stay that way. it’s for your safety, ultimately.”

it’s okay! she completely understands. she doesn’t want to jeopardize his career and she loves him enough that she’s okay with keeping things quiet. really, she’s fine. she’s completely okay.

ethan wraps his arms around her tightly, presses his lips to her forehead. he’s never wanted to shout that he loves her more than right now. more than this moment where he’s realized that he can’t.

“ i love you. “ he settles for a soft whisper in her ear.

she loves him too.

[     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   six months ago, d:fi dorm

“  ethan  ?!  yah  –  ethan  !!  “

the  force  of  leaving  the  trance  sends  ethan  tumbling off  his  chair  and  onto  the  ground where  he  catches himself  on  all  fours.  

“  you  okay  ??  you  weren’t  responding …  can  you  hear  me  now??”  hyunsik asks,  kneeling  by  his  side  and  putting an  arm  him.  

ethan  shuts  his  eyes,  squeezing them  so  tight  that  he  feels  pressure in  his  forehead, “…yeah.”  he  says  finally.

the  past  hour  of  his  life  is….  nothingness,  as  far  as  ethan  can  recall.  but  the  state  of  the  dorm  room  indicates  otherwise. dropped  brushes,  a  tipped  over  cup  of  mucky  water. tubes  of  acrylic paint  are  scattered across  the  floor, some  burst  open  from  the  force  of  being  stepped on.  paint  had  splattered  onto  the  wall  and  floor, even  onto  some  of  the  furniture.  his  easel  is  turned  over  on  it’s  side,  and  the  canvas ethan  had  been  working  on  lay  on  the  floor, slightly  smudged  due  to  making contact  with  the  bedframe  before hitting  the  ground.

“  what  were  you  doing  ??”

“  i  don’t  know.  my…i’ve been  off  recently. i  don’t  know.”

suddenly  ethan  pushes himself  up  and  whirls  around to  look  at  the  painting. he  feels  a  pit  form  in  his  stomach  as  he  examines it.  it’s  messy, it’s  smeared  with  dark  reds,  browns,  and  auburns.  but  he  knows  exactly  what  he’s  looking at.  the  creature hunting  them  all  –  the  being  known  as  aries  –  holding leia  aloft.

his  hand  is  around  her  neck.  she’s  bleeding  profusely. her  body  is  limp,  but  her  eyes  are  wide  open  in  horror.  the  sight  breaks lose  tears  form  ethan’s  eyes,  and  hyunsik snatches  the  painting up  and  turns  it  around.

“  stop  it.    leia  is  fine.  ethan  –  leia  is  fine.  “

“  you  don’t  know  that.  ”

hyunsik  puts  himself between  ethan  and  the  painting, places  both  hands  on  his  forearms  and  squeezes  tightly, “  i  do.  two  star  is  protected. and  leia  is  right  downstairs.   there’s  nowhere  else  she  could  be  that’s safer.  she’s  fine.  she’ll  be  fine.  nothing’s going  to  hurt  her.”

ethan  uses  all  his  force  to  push  hyunsik  aside. the  elder  doesn’t expect  it,  and  so  he  tumbles  to  the  side  and  into  the  bedframe. ethan  snatches  the  painting  back  up  and  flips  it  over,  trying to  understand  what  part  of  his  brain  decided  to  concoct  this  monstrosity  of  an  image.

what  is  this  panic  induced nightmare  sitting  at  the  forefront of  his  mind?  why  is  his  stomach sinking  the  more  he  looks  at  it?  why  does  it  feel  so  real?  so  possible? so…inevitable?  he  feels  the  tears  begin  to  fall,  and  they  plop  onto  the  canvas,  causing bits  of  it  to  run  because  of  still  wet  paint.

hyunsik  gets  up  again  and  tries  to  pull  the  painting  from  ethan’s  vice  grip.  the  elder  ultimately wins  the  scuffle, and  the  painting is  pushed  off  to  the  side  of  the  room  face  down  and  smeared across  the  floor. ethan’s  body  racks  with  sobs  as  hyunsik pins  him  down.  loud,  anguished cries  as  realization  sets  in  of  the  future he’s  seen  for  leia.

 [     🙤 · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·  ] ⠀━━   last night, d:fi dorm

leia’s  asleep,  curled up  in  a  blanket  while  ethan  sits  beside  her  with  one  of  his  sketchpads.  over  the  course of  the  evening, a  series  of  elaborate  mandala like  designs  have  blossomed  onto  the  page.  it’s  not  until  the  very  early  hours  of  the  morning where  light  is  peeking  into  the  window that  ethan  realizes he’s  been  awake  since  the  moment  leia  arrived.  with  realization  comes  exhaustion.  his  vigilant  watch  over  her  was  bound  to  come  to  an  end  eventually, but  he  remains uneased.  like  he  can’t  trust  the  locked doors  and  magical wards  around  the  dorm  to  protect  them.

considering  how  monsters had  broken  through them  before,  though, were  his  concerns truly  misplaced?

he  sets  his  sketchpad  aside  and  slides down  into  the  bed,  wrapping an  arm  around her  and  leaning into  her  back.  leia  stirs  and  turns  to  face  him.  worry  is  written all  over  her  face  as,  even  through her  glossy  eyed  half-asleep  daze,  she’s  picked up  on  something troubling  him.  ethan  smiles  a  bit,  shakes his  head.

“  i’m  fine.  just  thinking. why  do  you  always  know  when  i’m  thinking?”

she’s  too  tired  to  form  a  meaningful response.  her  words  come  out  practically  inaudible and  a  little bit  slurred.  exhaustion is  evident,  and  so  ethan  just  strokes her  hair  and  her  arm  and  tells  her  to  go  back  to  sleep. it  doesn’t  take  long  before she’s  out  again  and  he  is  left  to  his  thoughts.

would  you  have  ever  spoken to  me  if  you’d  known  this  is  what  your  life  would  be?  constantly chasing  down  or  running  away  from  monsters…fighting  against the  threads  of  time  and  having  to  figure  out  what  fate  looks  like  for  you…?

he  knows  what’d she  say  if  she  were  conscious.  she’d  say  yes,  of  course. she’d  say  it’s  worth  it  and  as  long  as  they’re  together, she  knows  she  safe.  she’d  say  she  doesn’t  want  to  be  a  burden, but  she  wouldn’t want  it  any  other  way.  though  if  he  wanted to  leave  her,  she’d  say  she’d  understand. it’d  break  her  heart,  but  all  she  wants  is  for  him  to  be  happy  –

ethan  realizes  that  he’s  rambling for  her  and  lets  out  a  small  laugh.  she’s  so  much  a  part  of  him.  maybe  to  much  now.  ‘that’s  what  soulmates  are’,  he’s  sure  someone  in  the  dorm  would  say.  hyunsik  or  reese.  and  yeah,  perhaps that’s  what  they  are.  no…that is  definitely  what  they  are.  nothing  else  would  explain why  it  feels  as  though leia  has  a  cord  around his  soul  and  is  constantly pulling  at  it.  he  welcomes every  tug.

and  god  save  whoever tries  to  sever  that  cord.      

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 253: That Good Angst

Previously on BnHA: The villain Ending, whose name in retrospect is hella melodramatic for a guy whose power is MAKING ROAD MARKINGS COME TO LIFE, kidnapped Natsuo and then deservedly got his ass kicked by three teenagers. Endeavor won the manga’s coveted Best Hug award, made up by me just now, and then gave one of the best monologues in the whole series, basically owning up to all his crimes and saying he doesn’t want or deserve his son’s forgiveness. And he didn’t get it either, which was excellent. Instead, he announced to his kids that he was building them a new home for them to go live in with their mother and without him. Meanwhile Katsuki was all, “btw I’ve decided on my new hero name,” and the ENTIRE FANDOM was all “!!!!” until he went on to say, “but I ain’t revealing SHIT until I’ve told it to Best Jeanist,” which caused everyone to collectively wince and awkwardly glance at each other wondering who’s going to break it to him. Uh.

Today on BnHA: hAHAHAHAHHA.

Sorry, I forgot to turn my capslock back off. Anyways, so we return to U.A. and everything is all “HAPPY NEW YEAR IIDA!” and “STILL ON ABOUT THAT UNREQUITED LOVE THING, HUH OCHAKO?” and “LOOKS LIKE THAT SCAMPISH IMP BAKUGOU IS AT IT AGAIN!” and all the usual stuff. We then have a complete switch of gears, and I seriously mean like the GEAR SWITCH TO END ALL GEAR SWITCHES, as we cut to Aizawa and Mic driving to Tartarus! Why are they driving to Tartarus you ask? Well it’s because they got a call from Naomasa and he was all “hey, so you know your deceased childhood friend from chapters 59 through 65 of Vigilantes? Well IT TURNS OUT I HAVE A FUNNY STORY ABOUT THAT.” Anyway so the rest of this chapter can basically be summed up as (1) LOL SO KUROGIRI WAS REALLY SHIRAKUMO ALL ALONG, and (2) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

btw the whole reason I spoiled myself in the first place was because my dumbass id was all “WE SHOULD CHECK IF THEY MENTION THE HERO NAME” and I was like “YES” and just immediately lost all self-control. like it wasn’t an accidental click or anything; I was fully aware of what I was doing. lord knows what I would have done if I actually had been spoiled about the hero name lol. that would have been so much worse than the spoiler I actually got, so yeah. just stupid decisions all around. anyways how are you

no BnHA thumbnails on the Mangastream homepage today. must mean Kacchan didn’t make any good faces. ah well

lmao the chapter is literally titled “Shirakumo.” well I guess I wasn’t spoiled much after all. I did catch a half-glimpse (I was trying not to look; like, I had my fingers covering my eyes and was peeking through them. again, I’m not really sure what I was trying to accomplish in the first place honestly) of what seemed to be Aizawa with a shocked expression on his face though, so that’s why I was so convinced Kumo was somehow coming back from the dead or something. WE SHALL SEE

MY FORMULA 1 SON!!

lol I’m having one of those Berenstein moments. like. he didn’t always have those huge exhaust pipes running out from his sides and from either leg, right? those are just for this cover. or else something new and fancy he just added to his suit. right??

anyway so yes, Iida is the color page this week, just as we all expected from a chapter titled “Shirakumo”

“WINTER BREAK WAS OVER IN A FLASH” oh man. ain’t that always the way

wow I’ve really missed U.A. like, we’re cutting to these panels of USJ and the stadium, and it’s so fucking nostalgic geez. we weren’t even gone that long

Deku’s voiceover is talking about how they only have three months left in their “tumultuous” first year. ha. tumultuous. if Deku hadn’t met up with All Might, he could have easily fallen back on a career in PR; he’s got a gift for phrasing things diplomatically

Iida is wishing everyone a happy new year! happy new year Iida!!

he’s announcing that their class will be an action report meeting, which apparently means everyone’s gonna share what they learned over the winter break

but now he’s telling everyone to come down to Field Alpha, which Mangastream annoyingly spelled out with the Greek symbol α, forcing me to look it up because I’m sorry but I don’t speak math. ?? like what is this

now Aizawa’s sliding the door open all CRANKY because he’s MISSING HIS NAP

but Mina is all smooth like,

Mina could also have had a promising future in PR. well it’ll still serve them well in their hero careers too

oh my lord

WHAT is that FACE, Iida. just what. is that an eyebrow waggle. what the fuck. he looks like the next words out of his mouth were going to be “sliding into people’s dms”

jokes’s on you Horikoshi!! you think a panel like this will stop my “stupid sexy Iida” jokes? IT ONLY MAKES ME LOVE HIM MORE

oh? someone on the loudspeaker is calling Aizawa and summoning him to the faculty room. I wonder what this could be about. probably nothing!

now we’re cutting to the changing room and the girls are admiring Ochako’s new costume!

I’ll add an ETA later where I actually analyze the changes in her costume. right now let’s just pretend like I’m aware of what actually changed. I swear I pay attention to things. by the way, why would the suitcase get heavy? her quirk can be applied to anything can’t it?

(ETA: so the costume changes are (1) an upgrade to her gauntlets, and (2) an upgrade to her headset. so anyway that’s pretty cool, even if it was really only brought up in this chapter so that we could get that SWEET YA ROMANCE DRAMA. which I know annoys some people, but at this point I feel like Horikoshi only throws it in because he’s expected to, and the way he does it is so adorably reluctant that I can’t help but enjoy it at this point lol.)

OH MY GOD

OCHAKO YOU KEPT DEKU’S CHRISTMAS PRESENT TO YOU IN YOUR HERO COSTUME FOR GOOD LUCK, OH MY GOD. (1) YOU ARE THE LITERAL CUTEST, (2) IT’S TIMES LIKE THIS I’M GLAD I SHIP BASICALLY EVERYTHING BECAUSE THIS IS A DELIGHT, and (3) MINA’S REACTION TO THIS IS ABOUT TO BE MY FAVORITE THING OF ALL TIME, SO LET’S COUNT DOWN TO IT IN 3... 2...

okay but before we click to the next page, I just need to draw everyone’s attention to the background of that Jirou panel, where I’m pretty sure that is Ochako acquiring Hagakure’s quirk in a moment of transcendent desperation, much like how parents are able to summon incredible strength in times of crisis to lift cars off of their trapped children and shit. we are witnessing the next stage of human evolution over here

-- oh fuck me

hello, Horikoshi? yes, this was supposed to be a cute moment of teens being teens and giggling over high school crushes. did you not get the memo. what are you doing here with this sucker punch of feels right to my fucking kidneys. why would you do that. why does this panel of Ochako make me want to fucking cry, I did not ask for this

(ETA: but like also, you see how he just instantly drops the subject less than a panel later lol. like “THERE’S YOUR ROMANCE PLOT, OKAY?? NOW BACK TO THE REANIMATED BRAINWASHED CHILDHOOD FRIENDS ARC.”)

meanwhile in the boy’s locker room! so apparently word has spread about Deku mastering Bloopwhip!

so Ojiro is evidently fucking ripped under that karate gi. Ojiro, this one corner of a panel with you facing away from the screen is possibly the most interesting thing you’ve ever done. have you considered what a costume change might do for your image. I’m just saying

lmao Deku

I have never in my life found the idea of Villain Deku even remotely convincing until this exact moment. jesus christ. Deku are you sure there isn’t a little piece of AFO horcrux soul in you right at this moment. just wondering. if it was Kaminari doing this, the headline for this chapter would be “KAMINARI 100% CONFIRMED THE TRAITOR” and even I would find myself hard-pressed to argue at this point

anyway, the hero we deserve is stepping in to bring him back to reality sob

(ETA: I’m not even going to check the bnha tag to see if there is discourse about this, because I already know!! because clearly this is a very serious panel which should be taken 100% seriously!! anyway I’m not even going to go here lol.)

it’s okay kids I’m already dialing 911. Kacchan, honey, come here. listen, we need to put you in a time out. I love you but you can’t just go around throwing your spiky headgear at people like a fucking tomahawk, and also what the fuck is that thing even made of jesus christ

sob is Deku actually fucking dead

and so, while the girls were having cute shoujo drama about a romantic All Might plush, over in the boy’s locker room an actual murder was going down

FSDKDJL

I can’t. stop laughing. I

and the way they’re all just staring at him and clearly have no idea what to fucking do at this point. “so should we just... leave it in, then?” lmao Horikoshi what the fuck kind of substance did you ingest before you went and drew this. I need me some of that

(ETA: and now that I’ve mostly stopped laughing, I would also just like to point out that he is essentially saying “I just had to stop thinking so hard about it and just do it”, which I’ve only been saying SINCE FOREVER, DEKU, but sure go ahead and don’t listen to me then!)

ALL MIGHT IS...

WHY, YOU ASK? WHO CARES!!

lol apparently it’s a pun. someone go over there and check to make sure this All Might isn’t actually a bunch of Mirios hidden underneath a trench coat

anyway so they’re completely unimpressed, because they’re all jaded fucking teenagers with no souls, and they’re asking where Aizawa is

is this the part where we slide right back into the angst after our brief humorous interlude with the kiddos. because I am ready. bring it

OOOOH HERE WE GO, LOOK AT THIS TENSION

SO HERE WE HAVE MIC ACTUALLY TELLING AIZAWA TO SHUT THE FUCK UP, AND IT’S CONFIRMED, THE WORLD IS ENDING

and look at Aizawa’s body language. arms crossed, fingers tapping anxiously, gritting his teeth. fucking Mic has to tell him to calm down. jesus christ. anyway so Aizawa angst is apparently MY DRUG you guys, and Horikoshi you can go right ahead and INJECT THAT SHIT STRAIGHT INTO MY VEINS

AHHHHHHH

OHHHHHH THAT’S GOOD. I might need someone to come and slap me in the face in another minute just to make sure I can continue here

-- HOLD UP, WHAT

THAT SOUND YOU HEAR IS THE SOUND OF MY MENTAL BRAKES SCREECHING TO A FUCKING HALT, EVERYONE HOLD THE FUCK UP WHILE I DO A QUICK MENTAL ROLL CALL OF THE VILLAIN CAST AT USJ. FUCK ME, PLEASE TELL ME HE WASN’T THE NOUMU. BUT ASIDE FROM HIM AND TOMURA, AND THE FACELESS NO-NAME VILLAINS, THAT ONLY LEAVES... OKAY MY BRAIN JUST SERIOUSLY FROZE UP WHILE PROCESSING THIS, BECAUSE NO FUCKING WAY

fuck me fuck me FUCK ME

there is no fucking way it can really be Kurogiri, can it?? Kumo didn’t have a portal quirk. but All For One, though?? but no wait because we know he didn’t have that quirk because he had to use the other teleportation one instead. John’s or whoever’s

so then the only other option is the Noumu. could this be the start of the Noumu arc at long last?! oh my godddddd I’m about to get up out of my seat and just jump around for a second to get all my nerves out. ahhhhhhh

Horikoshi knew full well what he was doing titling the chapter “Shirakumo” and then teasing us with this incredibly tense buildup, too. I have actual fucking chills

oh my god IT REALLY IS THE NOUMU ISN’T IT

I HATE AND LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SIMULTANEOUSLY, IT IS THE WEIRDEST FEELING. IT’S BOTH INVIGORATING AND TERRIFYING HOLY SHIT

I WANTED THIS. I KNEW IT WAS GONNA BE DARK. I WANTED IT SO BAD AND I COULDN’T WAIT FOR IT AND NOW IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING AND WHAT A FUCKING WAY TO KICK IT OFF I JUST!!!

AHHHHH

DON’T MIND ME PLEASE CONTINUE AND IGNORE ALL OF MY SILENT SCREAMING!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AIZAWA IS ABOUT TO LOSE HIS FUCKING MIND. HIS CLOSEST FRIEND WAS DESECRATED AND VIOLATED IN AN UNIMAGINABLE WAY AND TRANSFORMED INTO SOMETHING UNRECOGNIZABLE WITH ALL TRACES OF HUMANITY LOST, AND THIS WHOLE TIME HE THOUGHT HE WAS FUCKING DEAD. THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE A THERAPY FOR THAT, PEOPLE. THAT IS THE KIND OF ANGST THERE’S NO COMING BACK FROM

ANYWAY, SO THERE’S THAT SHOCKED AIZAWA FACE I CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF YESTERDAY, NOW WITH HORRIFIC CONTEXT, AND IF ANYONE NEEDS ME I’LL JUST BE HERE IN THE CORNER SETTING MY KEYBOARD TO PERMANENT CAPSLOCK, AND UPDATING MY SEXUAL ORIENTATION TO “THE FUCKED-UP AIZAWA ANGST IN THIS CHAPTER” BECAUSE THAT’S APPARENTLY WHAT IT IS AND ALL THIS TIME I NEVER KNEW

OH GODDDDD

BRB UPDATING MY ORIENTATION AGAIN TO “MIC’S COMFORTING HAND ON AIZAWA’S SHOULDER AS AIZAWA STRUGGLES TO HOLD ON TO THE LAST OF HIS COMPOSURE WHILE TRYING AND FAILING TO PROCESS THIS UNFATHOMABLY HEINOUS THING THAT’S ABOUT TO BE REVEALED”

(ETA: and also!! the fact that either Mic’s hand is shaking, or Aizawa is shaking so badly that it’s affecting Mic’s hand on his shoulder too! either way how the hell am I not literally dead after reading this chapter, I don’t even know.)

WAIT WHAT!!!!

THE CORE?! SO WAIT, IS IT KUROGIRI THEN??? OR WHAT?!

(ETA: I know I’m just inserting random commentary all over the place at this point, but like, can we also talk about how Naomasa looks like he hasn’t slept in eleven years?? this is taking such a toll on his soul here and it’s heartbreaking.)

OH MY GOD!!!!!

I WISH I COULD BETTER DESCRIBE THIS FEELING BECAUSE IT’S REALLY SOMETHING!! I’M SO EXCITED AND AT THE SAME TIME FULLY AWARE OF HOW I’M DELIGHTING IN THE PAIN OF THESE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS, SO IT’S LIKE THIS GUILTY SADISTIC GLEE AND AT THE SAME TIME SHOCK AND EXCITEMENT AND DAMN NEAR A KIND OF ELATION AT BEING FULLY TAKEN FOR A RIDE BY THIS EPIC FUCKING TWIST. IT’S GOOD SHIT

SDLKFJASLKDFJ;LKS

(ETA: so if they can trace quirk factors like this, they should be able to do it with the other Noumu they have in captivity, and also with any dead Noumus they’ve collected as well, yes? including the one that Stain killed a few months back? like, don’t mind me, I’m just sitting here trying to calculate the Six Degrees of Bakuangst for this plotline seeing as my brain, as ever, is focused on one thing and one thing only.

and so if they have managed to ID some of the Noumus, would that info maybe be on the Hero Network? meaning Endeavor would have access? would the interns then have access too? or if not, is his password something easily guessable, like Shouto’s birthday or something? will I ever stop running out of hypothetical scenarios along these lines? doesn’t seem likely as of now.)

“SEVERAL DIFFERENT QUIRK FACTORS” HOLY SHIT, AFO. THAT MANIAC. THIS WHOLE TIME MY RESPECTED DOCTOR OF MEDICINE WAS REALLY A HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT WHO GOT CONKED ON THE HEAD BY SOME FALLING ROCKS ONE DAY. THE GRANDDADDY OF ALL TWISTS!! THIS TWIST WAS CONCEIVED IN THE BOOK OF GENESIS!!

AND BY THE WAY, THANK YOU AGAIN TO THAT ANON, BECAUSE HOLY SHIT THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT IS FUCKING RAW. ONCE I FINALLY COME DOWN FROM THIS BIZARRE HIGH I’M GOING TO CRY FOR AIZAWA BECAUSE HE IS HURTING SO BAD RIGHT NOW AND I CAN’T EVEN, SOMEONE SAVE HIMMMM

WELL FOLKS. THERE IT IS. HORIKOSHI FINALLY HOOKING US UP WITH THAT GOOD ANGST. THE PLOT THAT WAS PROMISED. THE ANGST THAT WAS AVOWED. YOU GUYS I CAN’T BELIEVE AIZAWA SHOUTA WAS SHIGARAKI TOMURA’S FUCKING UNCLE THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME. HOLY SHIT

AND YOOOO I JUST HAD A BUNCH OF THOUGHTS THAT I CAN BARELY EVEN PROCESS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THIS REVELATION OPENS UP SO MANY NEW DOORS NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN THOUGH. BUT LIKE, IF AFO AND UJIKO WERE IN THE BUSINESS OF TAKING CHILDREN’S CORPSES AND REVIVING THEM AND INFUSING THEM WITH UPGRADED QUIRKS AND NO MEMORIES OF THEIR PRIOR LIVES, THEN HOLY FUCKING SHIT, WHAT IF A CERTAIN TODOROKI SIBLING REALLY DID FUCKING DIE AND HAS ACTUALLY BEEN A PUPPET OF AFO’S THIS ENTIRE TIME OH MY GOD. THIS CHAPTER IS JUST!!!

(ETA: yeah I actually have a lot of thinking to do about this one, because holy shit. I mean there must be a reason we’re getting this reveal directly on the heels of the Todoangst Arc with all of its talk about Touya and how dead he is, right? god I’m still trying to wrap my head around it all. this stupid manga!!)

AND AIZAWA’S FACE. THE WAY HE’S COVERING HIS MOUTH AS THOUGH TRYING TO KEEP HIMSELF FROM BEING SICK. THE MAN WHO PRIDES HIMSELF ON HIS RATIONALITY IS SO COMPLETELY OVERWHELMED BY EMOTION THAT HE’S STRUGGLING TO KEEP IT TOGETHER. THIS IS THE DEFINING WOUND OF HIS CHILDHOOD, RETURNING ALL OF A SUDDEN TO STAB HIM RIGHT IN THE HEART ALL OVER AGAIN WITH A FRESH NEW KIND OF HORROR. MIC, YOU’D BETTER BE THERE FOR HIM AFTER THIS, BECAUSE HE’S GOING TO FUCKING BREAK DOWN IN THE CAR ON THE RIDE HOME OR SOMETHING PROBABLY, AND HE NEEDS YOU, AND YOU PROBABLY NEED HIM TOO, AND FUCK

I DON’T HAVE SPACE FOR ALL THIS ANGST IN MY HOUSE!!! BUT LIKE HELL AM I GIVING ANY OF IT BACK, IT’S MINE NOW AND I’M KEEPING IT!! I WILL FUCKING RENT OUT A STORAGE LOCKER FOR THE EXCESS!! I WILL HOARD IT ALL LIKE A GREEDY DRAGON IN MY CAVE. THIS ANGST IS MY CHILD NOW. FUCKING SUBSCRIBED, GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE

[rwby-grimm-guardians]

RWBY Grimm Guardians Arc 3: Separated Union Ch 2

Side White I: Family Drama

Welcome back to Separate Union! Here is Side White, which revolves around Weiss and Arktis’s experience in Atlas. The constant theme of this side is, obviously, Arktis...or rather, WILLOW becoming more frustrated and angry with Jacques. Willow will be referred as Willow and not Arktis for this arc...and maybe onward.

A specific theme of this chapter is the former heiress and Klein talking about how they can make sure Willow can prevent her children from ending up like their father. As usual, please give constructive criticism and enjoy!

Disclaimer: Still own nothing.

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(Several months after the Fall of Beacon, in Schnee Manor, Altas…)

Late at night, Willow Arktis Schnee sat in the manor’s library, reading a random book. Despite looking at the pages, she wasn't paying attention to it. She was more focused on what had happened earlier in the day… “Fuck…” The former heiress sighed, tossing the book on the table, before rubbing her eyes. These past few months have been… Well, increasingly frustrating for her. Not just because of what happened to Beacon, but also because of her husband, Jacques… Or was he her widow now?

She had no clue. Hell, for what Jacques and the rest of Atlas knew, Willow was still dead. “Maybe it’s better that I STAY that way to them.” She mumbled, laying on the couch and closing her eyes as she recalled the events leading up to now…

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(Over the past few months…)

1st Month

Willow and Weiss had returned to Atlas, where they were immediately greeted by a few individuals. Firstly was, quite predictably, General Ironwood and the Atlas Military, who had also returned quite recently. While he gave them a brief rundown of what had happened in Beacon, it was mostly information that the two already knew. That is, until he brought up what had happened to the headmaster.

At the moment and according to their current understanding, Beacon Headmaster Evergreen Ozpin Brown was dead... Needless to say, neither of them had expected that information…

The two went into the Manor afterwards, hoping to think over the events at Beacon...and comprehend them. They were soon greeted by a very worried Winter, who hugged them tightly. “Are you two okay? What happened? Are your friends alright?” She began asking, receiving a small smile from her mother. “Slow down, hun. Breathe…” Willow said. “Yes, we’re safe. Yes, our friends are safe...or as safe as they can be, at least…” “A...lot of chaos happened in Beacon.” She sighed tiredly.

The two Schnees then gave Winter a run down of the recent events. “Lieber Gott…” The Special Operative whispered. Willow nodded, “Dear god is right… Yang, Ruby, and her family are safe and healing. So are Blake and Gambol.” Winter nodded, “What of the headmaster…?” The former heiress froze, before looking at the floor with a sorrowful expression. Hesitantly, Weiss said, “He’s...gone… We don’t know...if that means he’s been captured or…” She didn’t dare finish the sentence.

“What happens now?” Weiss asked. Winter held her sister’s shoulders and looked at her in the eye, “Right now, we settle down for a while. You two need to heal as well.” She turned to her mother, saying, “I’ll be here for a while, but I won’t be staying at the Manor. You know why.” Nodding, the former heiress sighed, “Damn straight, I do.” After Winter and Weiss entered the teenager’s bedroom, Willow walked to where she knew an old friend would be waiting for her.

Entering the kitchen, Willow leaned against the door frame, saying, “We’re home.” The butler jumped, almost dropping the tea set as he rushed over and hugged the former heiress tightly. “Are you alright? Are you hurt? Would you like something? Where’s Weiss?” He began asking, panicking out of his mind as Willow gave a tried smile. “Gods, I missed you, Klein.” She said. “To answer your questions, we are...doing okay, we are safe, and we would like some tea please…”

Klein nodded, before immediately preparing some tea. “A lot has changed while you were gone…” He sighed. Willow raised an eyebrow, “Not in a good way, I assume?” The butler gave a nod, “Whitley...is not doing well...mentally.” “What the hell did that bastard do to him?” The former heiress growled, figuring that this was Jacques’s doing. “You don’t want to know the specifics…” The butler gave a sad sigh. “He’s still alive, but...Jacques is...morphing him. MOLDING him.”

Willow swore she felt her heart stop. Though, despite knowing that information, she never got to see Whitley that month… Even though she actively tried.

2nd Month

The next month, Willow actually MANAGED to see Whitley….and right away, she could tell that Klein was right. Whitley was becoming more like Jacques, even if he didn’t want to. Somehow...he was even looking up to him, despite the fact Jacques was manipulative and controlling. ‘What did you do to my baby boy, you fucker?’ Willow thought as she felt tension between her and Whitley. ‘What the fuck did you do to my children, Jacques…?’

She continued to watch over her children’s interactions with the man, even though Winter had gone back to the military...

3rd Month

The next month, Willow’s depression reared its unwanted head again. Just when she thought she was finally over it, turns out she wasn’t.

She started to blame herself for failing to protect her son, her youngest child,...from becoming like Jacques. As far as she was concerned, it was true...

She was dead for several years…and it was because she committed suicide. As far as she was concerned, she left to escape her own selfish pain...and in doing so, left her three children with a monster.

“Fuck this feeling…” The former heiress whispered, grabbing a bottle of wine and began drinking it. “Fuck it all…” She then blacked out.

She woke up the next day with a massive hangover...and Klein watching over her.

4th Month

Klein, to help Willow, hid and locked the alcohol away. If he wanted to help her overcome her depression, he needed to first help her get sober again. The next morning after he did that, the former heiress awoke with a groan and splitting headache. She groaned, “Verdammte Hölle.” She was in Weiss’s room, with said teenager playing the piano. “Good morning.” Her daughter said. Willow just grunted, her head throbbing, “How was I…?”

“Klein brought you here.” Her daughter said. The heiress then went over and sat on the edge of the bed, asking, “Would you like to tell me what’s going on?” Willow raised an eyebrow, before sighing, “What is there to say when I’m sure you already know?” “Try me.” Weiss said. The former heiress looked at her daughter for a few moments, before sighing. “So...my depression returned.” She said.

As Weiss gave the woman a cup of tea, Willow explained that it was triggered by thoughts of thinking she failed her children. “I left you three…in the most permanent and selfish way…” She sighed. “I… I committed suicide to….escape my own suffering.” She then looked at her daughter in the eye, “And yet, I made you three suffer because of it.” The heiress said nothing as her mother went on to say, “I KNOW it will NEVER change what I did...or redeem my actions, but I’m sorry….”

“I’m sorry for leaving you three… I’m sorry for not returning sooner…” Willow said, her hand shaking with the cup in her grasp. “I… I’m sorry...for being a terrible mother…” She then felt Weiss wrap her arms around her. The former heiress kept whispering apologies as tears ran down her face....while her daughter held her. Then...there was silence. Weiss looked down as Willow had passed out with the tea cup in her hand. Sighing, she put the cup on the bedside table , before laying her mother back down.

“Mom…” The teenager said, despite knowing her mother couldn’t hear her. “I won’t deny that what you did was wrong. You left us…” She then bit her lip, “But you came back. You’ve been given a chance to redeem yourself for what you did. You can STILL protect and care for us…” “To me….” Weiss started, before holding Willow’s hand. “I think you’ve been doing a good job as a mother since you came back… You just need some help getting on the right track.”

Subconsciously, the former heiress’s hand gripped her daughter’s. It wasn’t much, but it gave Weiss some hope that maybe...just maybe she heard her. “It’ll get better…” The teenager gave a small smile. “Nothing stays bad for long…” With that, she went back to the piano, continuing to play it as Willow slept peacefully.

5th Month

By the time the fifth month came around, Willow had stopped her drinking habits once more. This time, she hoped it would be for good.

6th Month

By the time the sixth month came up, the former heiress had stopped feeling depressed once more. She knew it wouldn’t stay like that….but she prayed that her depression wouldn’t be as severe as it was the next it showed up. Her anger with Jacques, however, was now nearing its boiling point with the man’s demanding behaviour towards Weiss as the Schnee Dust Company’s next heiress.

Willow couldn’t have been more disgusted and furious with Jacques.

7th Month

Finally, after three months of self-hatred and self-blaming, Willow had stopped blaming herself. She now knew that she needed to focus on the now and future. For herself. For Klein. For her children and friends.

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(Present day…)

Willow perked up when the family butler, Klein entered the room, holding two cups of tea. “Care to have a chat?” He asked with a smile. The former heiress nodded, sitting up as Klein sat next to her. Handing her a cup of tea, the butler sighed, “Winter, Weiss, and Whitley are struggling…” “I know…” Willow said. “Winter has escaped via the military. But who knows how much damage has been done?” Klein nodded, “She’s strong, old friend. But she needs help.”

The woman nodded, “Whitley seems almost beyond repair, given his reactions.” The butler sighed, “That is true… But there IS hope for him.” “Weiss needs to escape.” He said. “She needs a chance...to make things right again.” Willow sighed, “She needs to do what she thinks is right, Klein. Believe me, I want her to get to safety too, but in the end, we can NOT make the decision for her.” “We’d be no better than Jacques if we did…” She explained.

“But she’s…!” Klein started, only to be cut off by his old friend. “In danger? Yes, I know…” She sighed. “However, she’s mature enough to make her own decisions. She is more than capable...of making decisions to protect herself from Jacques. She just needs encouragement to make those decisions.” Willow put the cup on the table, “What we need to ask...is how I am going to be able to protect them… And how am I going to stop that son of a bitch who is their father…”

Klein smiled, “Well, I’m willing to help out as much as I can. You know that.” “Klein, you’re going to get into serious trouble if you do that!” The former heiress nearly shouted. The butler shrugged, “I don't mind. Besides, I’m sure Jacques is planning on letting me go sooner or later.” Willow sighed, “That fucker… We need to get the kids or Jacques out of here as soon as possible.” Klein nodded, “Agreed. The children are not safe with him around. And you WILL save them. I know you can...”

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Yeah, not the best to end it, but I couldn’t think of anything else. Oh well. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! I tried my best to explain the reasons why Arktis is becoming more and more frustrated with Jacques and her struggle on how she’s going to protect her kids…

Next chapter will be the start of both Side Black and Yellow, as it has Blake and Yang chatting. Thought that would make sense. See ya then.

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Assassin’s Apprentice

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Uhhhhh yep!! I can’t even believe how different it was. Every scene has taken on an entirely different colour and flavour in my memory. I skimmed far too much the first time, yes, but also I just went into it with the wrong framework. I think I’ve mentioned this before but my mum recommended me these books on the basis of my love of A Song of Ice and Fire. She directly compared them and said how similar they were. Because of RotE’s length I had been putting it off for years, and only finally picked up Assassin’s Apprentice because I was itching to do an ASOIAF reread but was (and am) trying to wait until Winds of Winter to do it. 

So you can imagine the difficulty settling into a book like Assassin’s Apprentice when you’re expecting Game of Thrones. I remember my overall impression on my first read being that it was a pretty standard fantasy novel with the only really exceptional thing about it being the characters and their relationships. Characters are always my top priority so it was enough to keep me invested and progressing onto the next book and the rest of the series, but I did so not having absorbed nearly as much as I should have from the first book in the series.

Now, just from revisiting that first book, my understanding of Fitz and the world he operates in has exponentially increased and I know that will transform my experience of every book going forward. I really made sure to make myself slow down and read every word; absorb descriptions and just be in each moment without racing to the next one. Overall this book (and all the Fitz books) are much more concerned with the human condition and the effects of abuse and trauma and deep loneliness than being an epic fantasy. In fact it barely reads like fantasy at all; it’s incredibly grounded and focused. Of course the elements are there, but while Assassin’s Apprentice may not be as subversive as the rest of the series, it is certainly not generic fantasy. This book just feels alive to me now in a way it didn’t before against the rest of the series. I can regard it as a beautiful piece of the puzzle in its own right instead of just the setup. I wanna reiterate I always really liked Assassin’s Apprentice but it just paled in comparison to my unholy obsession with the rest of it. Idk this reread just really shifted a lot of things into perspective for me and I’m excited!!

Something you can’t believe you forgot

So so much but most ridiculous GALEN IS QUEEN DESIRE’S BASTARD am I dumb??? I didn’t even remember until it was explicitly stated lol

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

It’s gotta be a tie between the Fool, Kettricken and Patience (realising there is a common theme here of Fitz making an idiot of himself). I genuinely was laughing so hard when Fitz is like, actively making himself smaller and so pleased with himself trying to help the Fool, and of course the Fool’s iconic “listen you idiot” ugh it’s just chef’s kiss baby, that’s what we in the biz call a meet-cute! (I know they have seen each other before, but this is the first time the Fool talks to Fitz). Then of course we have Kettricken who poisons Fitz at their first meeting, and Patience who Fitz continuously embarrasses himself in front of before even realising who she is. The fact that all three of these people end up being some of Fitz’s only genuinely loving relationships makes it even better.

Favourite character arcs

I think I’ve gotta go with Verity and Burrich. Verity goes from kind of a bloke’s bloke (he was so different in the beginning than I remembered!) to being a proper King-in-Waiting. He is self-sacrificial but not for pride; he genuinely cares deeply for his people, as a whole and as individuals, and will do anything it takes to protect them. He is far from perfect, and he could have done a lot more for Fitz when he was younger, but once Fitz is in his eyeline and he is confronted with the life the boy has led he seems suitably shamed and tries to do his best for him. He’s a good boy and I love him!

Burrich of course is just. unlucky. His health deteriorates due to injuries. He gets saddled with some kid and is burdened to bring him up to an impossible standard he has set himself (to not shame a man he has an impossibly high opinion of). He’s deprived of a job he loved and was good at, and most importantly he’s deprived of his boyfriend I mean lover I mean “master”.

His arc is not a happy one at all but it is compelling, and I can’t help but love him and feel for him despite also disagreeing with him on almost everything :)

Favourite quote/s

Unfortunately I don’t have any tabs atm so I couldn’t really keep track, but my heart exploded when Fitz said to the Fool after going into his room, “I wish I had a place that were as much me as that place is you.”

Favourite relationships

Fitz/Fool obviously. Even though they don’t have that many interactions in this book I loved every single one of them. The Fool volunteering to care for Smithy after Fitz has endured a long day of horrendous abuse is just!!!!! Kindness! What a concept! I could really see why they develop such a deep bond so quickly.

Fitz/Burrich is just so real and so compelling and it hurts me but I love it. Fitz/Chade breaks my heart bc Chade is manipulating his way into Fitz’s heart - I think without realising it a lot of the time bc he is lonely too, but the power imbalance is not okay when he is the centre of Fitz’s world for a long time and the closest thing he has to a friend. Knowing how Chade behaves not too much later just makes it even worse when he is so nice in this book because it just shows why Fitz has such a hard time being his own person and saying no to Chade ever.

Fitz/Verity for obvious reasons. Fitz/Hands!! They’re cute but it makes me sad that Hands betrays him in AQ. Weirdly I liked Fitz/Molly way more this time but more their friendship than anything. And next is Royal Assassin and their deeply toxic romance soooooo.

And Fitz and his puppies BUT WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT.

Favourite setting

Do yourself a favour and read the description of the Mountain Kingdom and specifically the palace. It is STUNNING and something I completely skimmed over the first time cos I’m a dumb idiot bitch I could have been picturing a city of huge colourful tulips all this time but fuck me I guess!!

Favourite chapter

As a rereader I think I’ve gotta say chapter one. There’s just so much to pick apart all crammed into one chapter. It still holds a lot of mystery even when you’ve read the entire series.

Most loved character

At this point I’ve gotta say Fitz. That’s who my heart is with during this book and he NEEDS IT

Most hated character

Okay I found Regal a much better villain on this read and hated him A LOT but whomst I despised even more w the very fibre of my being was Galen bitch disgusting!!!!!! Verity was so like, smug?? when he killed him and it was so satisfying. It’s what she deserves!!

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

Literally this whole book was so harsh and I was perpetually emo throughout but off the top of my head, Fitz’s depressive episode after Shrewd and Chade test his loyalty fricking broke me, as did the entirety of Galen’s abuse/training; since I was paying so much more attention this time it hit a lot harder that he is an absolute textbook abuser and the psychological torment he inflicts on Fitz is just. deeply upsetting to say the least. It really got under my skin.

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

Okay this is where I just dump all the notes I took while reading that don’t fit anywhere else. It’ll be long lol so strap in.

- It’s never not funny to me that Narrator Fitz comes across as like a hundred years old when in actuality he is like twenty. Also that he looks back on himself with such a sense of wisdom and superiority, yet we know there is dumbarsery aplenty to come. Amazing.

- I’ve never really registered that for the first six years of his life Fitz had a mother who loved him and I don’t know how to feel about that

- REVELATION THAT SEEMS REALLY OBVIOUS IN HINDSIGHT: Fitz most likely only spoke Chyurdan when he was abandoned, which would have played a huge role in why he was not only quiet but unresponsive to what was happening around him. He probably didn’t even understand that he wasn’t going to see his mother again until much later, and he didn’t know how to ask questions. When he goes to the Mountain Kingdom and Kettricken comments that he speaks Chyurdan like someone remembering the language he doesn’t comment on it, so it’s likely that future Fitz doesn’t register that he didn’t always speak Six Duchies(?). He mentions in the narration that the memory of being abandoned is incredibly stark but not necessarily reliable, and possibly shaped by the Skill, which to me opens up the possibility that his memory is essentially auto-translating for him things he didn’t understand at the time. We also know that at the time of writing this he’s given up his memories of his mother etc. up to the stone dragon, so obviously his recollections of these traumatic events are going to be warped by that. Anyway thanks to my sister for pointing this out and being much smarter than me.

- According to Fitz’s grandfather, Chivalry always knew about Fitz. Don’t know how trustworthy a man desperate to yeet his grandson out of his care is but there ya go.

- Weird and hilarious that Shrewd tries to see Fitz on the day he arrives but then just like. What? Forgets about him? For years? lol

- Chade literally tells Fitz that he is a king’s man now and that’s the most important thing about him YIKES

- Chade becomes the closest thing Fitz has to a friend for quite a long time and that is fucking depressing

- It’s interesting that Chade had to be convinced to teach Fitz. It’s hinted at that there was an ~incident~ the last time they tried to train someone, followed by a long period of Chade being left to rot in the walls.

- Not to be out here diagnosing fictional characters but like.Fitz. Literally has depression.

- Fitz having to turn down Fedwren’s offer of apprenticing for him is so sad. It’s the life Fitz should have had.

- The Fool’s non-binary gender is mentioned as early as Chapter Nine! (Published in 1995! We have no choice but to stan!)

- “So quickly we were all made accomplices in our own degradation.” OOF.

- I really realised this time that the reason Fitz seems so shit at things he trained his whole life for later is because all that training was interrupted by many months of isolation, deprivation and abuse. All at the age of like 13-14. He got out of the habit of subconsciously acting in a way that Burrich or Chade would approve of. For a long time the only person he needed approval from was Galen, and he became completely single-minded about it because that was his means of survival. And you don’t just recover from that - especially since neither Chade or Burrich would give him the time of day for an extended period *after* his training was done. When Chade did finally talk to him again it wasn’t to recommence training really; he just gave him a bunch of tasks to do. By the time Fitz got to the Mountain Kingdom he was completely out of practice, and still managed pretty bloody well in spite of it.

- Kind of related to the last point: I love that while Fitz isn’t a savant at anything he’s a pretty realistic jack of all trades. He not only has an aptitude for learning almost any skill or subject but a genuine broad curiosity too. It’s one of the few things that is just him, ya know? It’s just his personality and something he can find joy in, even if it does also factor into his being used by others.

- Imagine being Burrich and finding out that your son thought you were a dog murderer for like ten years lol ouch

- Fitz thinks about the Fool soooo often in the Mountain Kingdom, pointing out things that remind him of him, or things he would like. It’s v soft tbh I love them so much!!

- Another dumb thing I forgot is that Regal is convinced that Shrewd had Fitz poison his mother to death, which adds a rather important layer onto his motivations lol

Anyone doing a reread feel free to fill this out! You don’t have to use the tag :)

[sockablock]

I've been seeing all kinds of "Fjord is another sibling of the Twins" theories going around so: Fjord dies and meets his big brother. (Maaaaaaaybe that's what prompts him to become a paladin once he's brought back? IDK up to you)

ohohoHOHO, we are kicking things off with a WILD prompt, huh?

—

Fjord dies. 

He sits up in a pile of crimson snow and says to the world he claims no more:

“Dammit!”

He rubs his head. The landscape is already melting away, the temperature still cold but no longer quite as brisk, no longer quite as biting, as sharp, or as cruel, and then Fjord blinks one last time and—

Darkness. 

Well…almost darkness. 

There is a man standing right in front of him. Leaning, nearly lounging, against nothing at all. 

He looks up and Fjord locks onto his gaze. His hair seems to drift with the void behind his back, his skin as pale as the ivory of a mask.

His ears are slightly pointed, Fjord notices. His features are more slender than that of a normal human.

The half-elf clears his throat. Fjord fights the urge to snap to attention. 

“Er—ah…yes?” he asks instead. “Yes, er…how can I help you?”

The half-elf stares at him for but a second. Then he snorts, gives a shake of his head.

“That’s…one of the strangest responses I’ve ever gotten under these circumstances,” he says. “How can you help me, friend?”

Fjord scratches the back of his neck. His cheeks are definitely growing warm now.

…are they? He reaches to check, and the man standing across the darkness nods.

“That’s it, that’s the response I’m used to. I forget that it takes a while to realize you’re dead.”

“No, no, I knew that already,” Fjord says, gives his face one last disappointed pat. “I just…was hoping I might’ve been wrong.”

“Really?” the figure tilts his head. “You went into a dragon fight, unarmed. What exactly did you think would happen?”

Fjord feels his shoulders sag. He gives a faint sigh, and his knees start to buckle—though strangely, there’s a bit of resistance. And a few seconds later, he finds himself seated on a chair made of…nothing.

Well, whatever. He’s seen weirder, before.

The figure, as if to echo this sentiment, sits down companionably at Fjord’s side.

“Think of it this way,” he suggests. “It probably doesn’t get worse from here.”

“Probably?” Fjord arcs his brow. “Does that mean I could go to hell?” Then he pauses and adds, “You are death, right? I think I missed your introductions.”

“Hah! Well,” the figure shrugs, “close enough. You can call me ‘Vax’ if you like.”

“Vax?’

“It’s elvish. I think. I didn’t pay much attention at school.”

Fjord leans back lazily in his perch. 

“Well, that gives us one thing in common. Tell me, Vax, is this what comes next?”

Death-as-a-half-elf answers with another shrug. “That depends on a few things, I think. Typically, you’d move on to some kind of afterlife, but your particular soul is still tethered. I have a feeling that you’ll want to be patient and see if your friends come calling for you.”

Fjord feels a glimmer deep in his chest. 

“Really?” he asks.

Vax nods. “You never know. But you’ll have to give it a bit.”

“Ah.” The warmth wavers ever-so-slightly. “And if, ah…if they don’t call?”

“Well, then that’s where I come in.” Vax sticks out one of his hands, his feathered cloak rustling in the dark. He summons, from nothingness, a weathered scroll and unfurls it in a way that Fjord can’t see—though, for some reason, Fjord thinks he knows it well.

“It’s…a record,” Vax confirms. “Of your life and your deeds and all that, thereof. It’ll help me know where I’m supposed to bring you.”

“Are you my judge?”

Vax grunts. “Nothing so dramatic. I’m really just a guide.”

“Still,” says Fjord, as he watches Vax read, “could you still let me know if you’re taking me to hell? Just so I can brace myself?”

There’s a pause, as Vax doesn’t answer.

This makes Fjord nervous. He blinks, clears his throat.

“Er…Vax?” he asks carefully. “Mister Vax? Uh…Death, was it?”

The shadowed man is silent, staring intently at the page.

And then he shakes his head. He leans back, and glares at Fjord.

His ears are slightly pointed, which isn’t all that odd, but his frame…it is more slender than an orc’s…

Fjord’s panic continues to grow with every second Vax fails to answer.

“Is this…oh, gods above,” he says, “I really am going to hell, aren’t I?”

Vax ignores this. He narrows his eyes.

“Who are your parents?” he demands instead. “Just…to confirm. Do you know who they are?”

Fjord’s terrified expression flickers.

“…wait, what?”

“Your parents,” Vax repeats. “Your father, more specifically, what is his name?”

Now, Fjord frowns. He lowers his hands.

“My…my father? No, I…I never knew him.”

Vax stares back, unspeaking and grim. There is a moment, where Fjord thinks he’s failed. But then Death’s lean, feathered shoulders sag and he flicks his wrist, the scroll disappears.

“Gods above,” he mutters almost to himself. “I can’t believe him, I can’t believe this—”

“Er…what can’t you believe?” Fjord asks. And as he speaks, there’s that strange feeling again, that same glimmering spark, growing brighter, growing warmer, tugging on his lungs and his soul and his heart—

Vax does not notice this at all. He is standing now, pinching the bridge of his nose, shouting into the general darkness: “No, I mean, no, but still…good grief—”

“Is it…is it bad?” Fjord tries to say. But something is off, like he’s no longer really there—

Vax throws his arms into the air. “You’d think after dying, my life would make more sense! But no, no, nothing of the sort! No, trust everything to just get weird—”

And then there is a sudden, blinding flash of light. Vax spins towards his revelation just in time to see the outline disappear.

And then, within seconds, again he is alone.

He sighs. He sits down and shakes his head. He reaches out with a nimble, gloved hand and summons that same slightly-crinkled scroll.

He reads it again, just to be sure.

He puts it down.

“Vex’ahlia—good gods, you won’t believe what I’ve found.”

—

(from 8/11-8/15 I’m accepting requests for a grand fic giveaway!! Check out the guidelines here and feel free to send in a prompt!)

[ranma-rewatch]

Episode 5-Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart

Hey there, hope you’re doing well, whenever/wherever you’re reading this. We’re on the fifth episode of the Ranma Rewatch, and I just realized that you can pretty clearly delineate the last three episodes into one arc, all about introducing Kuno. This episode and the next few, judging by the title, look like they’ll be focusing on Dr. Tofu and Akane’s crush on him. I...really cannot recall a lot about these episodes, so it’ll be interesting to look at them with a fresh perspective. See you all again in a second, once I’ve finished watching the episode!

Wow, uh...I am finding my memories of this show are definitely blurred in ways I hadn’t expected. Or rather, when I saw it as a younger person, I didn’t notice the same things I’m noticing now.

The episode starts with Ranma brooding over how often Akane gets angry and violent at him, which ties into Akane training in the dojo with her dad. For a second, she remembers Ranma’s rude comments from the day before, and the anger makes her hit her dad so hard he’s left pretty hurt. Kasumi, the eldest of the Tendo siblings, tends to his injury, but pleads with Akane to reign in her violent tendencies, even if the exact specifics of that promise change from the Sub to the Dub.

Later, Kasumi sends Akane out to get meat for dinner, at the same time Ranma is brooding in the same area. They run into each other, and Ranma provokes Akane so much that, even after trying to restrain herself to Kasumi’s promise, she gives up and clobbers Ranma so badly she has to take him to a doctor. Specifically, Doctor Tofu.

This is actually the good doctor’s first time seeing Ranma as his uncursed form, so they’re formally introduced. Tofu reasons out that Akane is responsible for the extensive damages, looking serious...only to happily point out that the injuries make that clear, since the way she fights is so distinctive. To Ranma’s surprise, Akane is in a hurry to leave once Ranma is okay, and before they go Tofu tries to tell Ranma that Akane’s actually a pretty nice person, which Ranma is skeptical of.

Seemingly to prove his point, Tofu hit a pressure point on Ranma’s back just before they left, so that halfway home his legs would go out. Despite the fact they’d just been arguing, Akane immediately offers to carry Ranma home, something he only accepts after being splashed with water, thanks to his pride as a man. It’s there, being carried piggyback style, that he considers whether Tofu may have been right after all, but just isn’t sure.

This whole time, their dads have been trying to think of some way to make them get along, since things are only getting worse between them, but it seems they don’t have any ideas. At breakfast the next day, Kasumi asks Akane if she can take a book she’d been borrowing from Dr. Tofu back to him, only for Akane to refuse. When Ranma questions why she’d do that, about to spill the beans on her crush, Akane hurries to school with Ranma in toe, not even noticing that Ranma gets splashed as they sprint down the street.

Once there, she realizes the curse has activated as she starts chastising Ranma for what he did, namely by opening up Ranma’s shirt...revealing his breasts in front of all the guys who usually fight Akane. Not that they seem to notice. They’re not about to fight Akane anymore, telling her that they’ve decided to honor her engagement to Ranma, since he beat Kuno, their best fighter and biggest pervert.

Not that Kuno himself is going to honor that agreement, even if he’s still covered in bandages from all the hits Ranma got on him, and can barely seem to stand. But when he notices Ranma there in his cursed form, he goes from toting the virtues of Akane to his red-headed love in seconds. Ranma is annoyed, and that only gets worse when Akane pretends to support the two getting together, in the hopes that maybe that would maybe get Kuno to leave her alone. For a few seconds, Kuno is struck with indecision...only to once again reiterate that he’s in love with both of them.

During gym, a few guys in Ranma’s class hassle him over his luck in being engaged to Akane, and needle him over whether they’ve ‘done anything’ yet. Just when he’s about to mention that Akane already loves someone else, she hits a softball right in his face, though it’s unclear whether this was on purpose or not.

This means another trip to Tofu’s clinic, though this time they run into his newly hired assistant: Ranma’s dad in his panda form. Tofu laughs to hear that this panda is apparently Ranma’s dad, but it’s unclear if he actually believes that or not. Ranma is getting more and more curious about why it seems like Akane is trying to avoid the person he knows she likes, when the phone rings. Akane answers and talks to that person, before finally telling Ranma that Dr. Tofu already has someone he’s in love with, and that woman is one the way to the clinic, that’s who Akane had talked to on the phone. After a fake out, it’s made clear from how the scene cuts to her that the woman Akane’s talking about is Kasumi.

There are a few things this episode has really brought to mind for me. To start with what I alluded to earlier: when I have thought about Ranma 1/2, for the longest time, I’ve thought of it as a very episodic storyline. Throughout it’s very, very long run, I mostly remembered it being unrelated little stories, aside from the small arcs that populated the various seasons, cropping up from time to time. I do remember enough specific episodes to come that I do know there are one-off episodes later on.

But as I look at the five episodes I’ve covered so far, I’m kind of staggered by the continuity. Each episode flows seamlessly from the last, even as we’ve kind of moved on from an arc about Kuno to one about Akane and Dr. Tofu. Now, whether this is something the show will outgrow with time, as it drifts farther and farther from the manga, isn’t really something I know for sure, so it’s a thing I’ll have to keep an eye on.

So much of this episode is devoted to Ranma and others thinking about his relationship to Akane. He’s clearly very skeptical about any idea that they might work out as a couple, already seeing the rough ways they tend to hit each other where it hurts when they bicker. Still, there are other moments where he can clearly see her better traits, such as when she immediately moves to help him when his legs fail him.

In that same vein, I was very much befuddled at first when Akane just opened Ranma’s shirt to check he really was in his more feminine body. Like, that just seemed out of character for her, but then I realized a better way to read that. Akane has no problems doing something like that because she considers Ranma a guy, for better or worse, regardless of what he looks like at the time. Unlike so many characters, who tend to treat Ranma differently depending on if he’s in his cursed form or not, Akane always sees him as Ranma. Here, that made things awkward, but on the whole it’s kind of a big plus from her. She validates Ranma for who he really is, in that way.

Oh, back when I was recapping things, I mentioned a couple of guys hanging out with Ranma at school. Well, fun fact, those are Hiroshi and Daisuke, and I think this is their first appearance in the anime. They become Ranma’s default two friends at school, and later on Akane will get her own similar pair of friends to match. If you’re not paying attention, they might seem like extras, but Hiroshi and Daisuke actually have consistent designs and personalities, which I find pretty neat.

This week, for the character spotlight, I thought I should round out the Tendo siblings with the oldest, Kasumi. After all, she’s getting more attention in the plot right now, and there really aren’t a lot of characters worth focusing on introduced yet.

Now, as best as I can tell, her voice actresses in the original Japanese and the English dub are doing the same kind of thing. Namely, a very sweet, if restrained, kind of performance. In English, she was played by Willow Johnson, another fairly minor Canadian voice actress who doesn’t seem to have done a lot of work recently, though she is also Kikyo from the Inuyasha dub. In a strange coincidence, she also played Lalah Sune in Mobile Suit Gundam, which I’m going through for the first time right now, and her character literally was just introduced a few episodes ago, so that’s cool. Her Japanese voice actress seems to be more well known and well regarded, Kikuko Inoue. She’s done a ton of roles, including more recent work. She’s even worked for Japanese dubs of American series, such as playing Blue Diamond from Steven Universe. And, like I said last week, she was a member of DoCo.

Of the three Tendo sisters, she’s definitely the one that’s gotten the least attention and development so far. Sadly, I’d say that’s also generally true throughout the entire series, as far as I can recall. Akane is one of the protagonists, after all, and Nabiki is a great source of conflict. In contrast, Kasumi is mostly...there.

That said, even if she isn’t the most well developed character, she’s at least clearly defined. It’s obvious already that she’s the one running the house, seemingly with more authority than even her father. She acts more like a mom than a sister most of the time, which from personal experience is definitely a thing that happens with oldest sisters sometimes, even without dead moms in the picture.

Kasumi cooks their meals, cleans their house, and just seems to be the one making sure everything gets done. She’s also very kind and accommodating, and comedically her strength is her nonplussed reactions to the madness going on around her. Kasumi is nearly always unphased by things like houseguests sparring in the yard. The exception did appear in this episode, however. When her father was injured, she did try to lay down the law on Akane, even bringing up their dead mom to try and make clear how serious this was.

That’s...really all there is I can say about Kasumi, at least so far. I can really only think of one really interesting thing they ever did with her character, and I’m sure other fans know exactly what I’m talking about.

Okay, so, what did I really think of this episode? On the whole, I’d say it was fairly strong. I appreciated seeing Ranma really thinking stuff over a little bit, and that scene with him and Akane at night was very cute. That said, I also do kind of find this Tofu plot a bit boring, since he as a character hasn’t really done a lot for me. So, in the end, I’d say this episode is middle of the pack.

Episode 2: School is No Place for Horsing Around

Episode 4: Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

Episode 5: Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart

Episode 1: Here’s Ranma

Episode 3: A Sudden Storm of Love

But what will I think of the second (and only other) part to this small arc? We’ll see next week with the sixth episode, “Akane's Lost Love... These Things Happen, You Know”. Man...I really do love these kinds of episode titles. See you then!

[sunnykeysmash]

The Structure of S14: a theory on how the season’s arc is structured, and on the ending

Here we go, finally, the post that drove me to make tumblr in the first place.

This is a direct follow-up to the other two posts I just did, so if you haven’t done so already, you need to read all the info/proof I have provided in them, in order to understand why I say what I’m gonna say.

You can do so right here.

As I said, every single episode in S14 serves a specific purpose in the arc/structure we’re witnessing, and none of them are fillers, NONE of them.

First, this is how I think the rest of the season is gonna go, based on the proof.

Assuming all the proof is correct, Charlie now knows that Mac Knows about Dennis' attraction to him/guys. So, cue the episode where we see his point of view, we get to see how he perceives them, which informs our experience on the next episode. The Gang Solves Global Warming. 

Following Escapes’ symbolism, after Mops, during Global Warming, he’s gonna pass the Key to Frank, aka he’s gonna tell him about what he knows, possibly in frustration post some event in Global Warming, because he’s been forced to witness their oblivious mutual pining without any new development.

In comes “A Woman’s Right To Chop”, a Dennis and Frank pair up episode. Pretty weird, those happen VERY rarely. But there’s a reason for why it happens now. So, Frank confronts Dennis in Chop about what he knows. Dennis denies it, and wants to prove to Frank that he's wrong. This becomes his new character motivation that will drive him all the way until the finale. What I think he’ll do to desperately try to prove to Frank that he’s wrong is, just like in TGGR with Dee’s planned role as diversion, Dennis bangs a chick. It just so happens that Jackie Denardo starts in S14, and we don’t yet know in which episode, so I can’t confidently say whether she’ll star in Chop or Jumper (we can’t fully determine when he will bang her, but I’m confident he’ll bang HER, or come close to), either way, that’s the reason she stars in S14. She represents the culmination of Dennis’ forced attraction to girls that actually never occurs. Getting over her means embracing his true feelings.

So, he bangs her. Just like Frank and Charlie post sleeping with the girls, Dennis feels that “it doesn't quite feel right”, and he misses Mac, but he doesn't pay it any mind yet. Continuing with this, it is unclear whether Mac will learn about it in Jumper or Big Mo, all we know is that Mac doesn’t seem angry in the Big Mo clips, so my guess is the latter, as the build up would come to a halt as Mac finally confronts Dennis about his feelings and he, in order to deny, reveals he banged her and staged the Big Mo thing so that Mac will get off of him for good. This argument would then drive Mac to decide to actually give Big Mo a chance, which is when Dennis’ jealousy would truly make him snap out of the denial.

This can technically also be supported by the dialogue in TGGR, which goes as follows:

“I know that what you had with [x] (Dennis) was special, and I know that I (Big Mo) can never replace him, but that’s dead and buried now, and you gotta move on. And I know that it’s crazy because we just met, but I feel like if you just give us a chance, we could tell a lovestory for the ages.”

So this brings us to the key question. How does it end? The synopsis for Jumper was kind enough to give us a crucial hint, which, when paired with the “Jump” symbolism (”Why do blind people hate skydiving?”), and the theme of CHANGE that I discussed, can pretty much give us a fairly accurate guess in my opinion.

“Could he? Would he? Should we?” Let’s dissect this.

- Could he? Could dennis have what it takes to get over his facade of heterosexuality and admit his love and need for mac (and men) to himself? To even accept and realize what he feels? Possibly. He's afraid of change, but he's also tired, and sleeping with Jackie would prompt him to realize that something is very wrong.

 - Would he? Is he willing do it? to let down his defenses and do it in the open? Say it to him? He's not known for saying things openly, except in desperate times. See Tends Bar. He can't let himself lose Mac.

 - Should we? Should we get together? The very existence of this question implies that the answer of the previous ones are affirmative. So, could he? Yes. Would he? Yes. Should we? For Dennis, yes. He has admitted it to Mac at this point, he feels vulnerable but ready, and hopes that Mac agrees. Mac knows better now, he knows Dennis is desperate, and he's not sure if Dennis just wants to keep his position of power. He needs proof. Commitment. He knows Dennis has never been one for committing, but Mac can't hand him his heart if he's unsure whether it'll get shattered. He needs to know that it'll be safe. Mac is romantic, Mac commits. He needs to know Dennis can do it too. He sees this as just another plan he'd make to keep him, for now. What happens next can be two different things. Either the ONE YEAR is what we have to wait to know what Mac answers. Or it’s what he asks of him as proof of commitment. Wait one year. “If you feel the same way by then, I'll know you meant it, and I'll be ready to give us a try.” Mac loves Dennis, but he also knows him, and he knows himself, that he could never handle his heart being played with. And that he doesn't want to ruin what they have by jumping into things. You see, Dennis is the man that needs to jump, in this arc. He’s the leading man. Mac doesn't have to. Mac is his parachute. And after what just happened, he needs to be able to trust Dennis, just as Dennis needed in Chokes.

So, TGGR has two endings, as I previously discussed. A good one, and a bad one. Supposedly, this is to keep the ending unclear, but knowing what we know, the story we are following is the Charlie and Frank one. Which tells me that, ultimately, it all ends in a YES. They do end up together, even if we get a dubious cliffhanger, on the other side of it is a YES.

That said, since we can safely assume that Big Mo will parallel Jumper, we can also assume that it really doesn’t matter whether the Jumper jumps or not, and actually, the mere application of this algorithm TO the Jumper further confirms my claims, let me explain why. Let me apply it.

First of all, let’s make an assumption that I think we can all agree on. Whenever the gang intervenes, they make things worse. 

Now:

- Could he? die/jump? He could jump, he probably wouldn't die thought. The McPoyle guy didn't. 

- Would he? jump? ...How would the gang know or be able to guess the answer to this question, without interacting with the jumper?

- Should we? Intervene? If they answer yes, he'll jump. If they answer no, he might not. But here’s the catch.

The "should we" question is a question asked to TWO people, hence the "we", so it has two answers. Depending on the person.

And it ultimately doesn't matter which one the jumper will reflect. It’ll probably be a red herring anyway. They likely won’t intervene at all, thus the jumper won’t jump. 

"should we (intervene/get together)? yes" Dennis jumps. It reflects his answer. "should we (intervene/get together)? no(t yet)" Mac doesn't jump. It reflects his.

Obviously we can’t 100% assume that Mac will say no (but he needs to, in order to justify the one year thing), however the theme of change might hit him as well. We know he’s impulsive, the doesn’t think things through. Him waiting would be his change. Not only that, but Dennis getting a no(t yet) would be the most appropriate ending for his arc of taking Mac for granted, AND it would reverse their dynamic, possibly. Plus, karma, which usually gets implemented in stories/arcs, especially so in a series as self aware as IASIP.

Having said ALL of this, I can finally get to the structure itself.

As I said, every episode has a role, and so far that has been the case. So I’m gonna try to compile them, as I think fits, one by one.

I present to you, “The Structure”:

TGGR: Establishing the arc. The meta episode to set the ground rules, to give us the map of what's gonna happen, so that no one is surprised. It tells the audience to pay attention to what they’re about to experience, and not take details for granted. Thundergun: Establishing the conflict. A look at Den's past attractions and his reaction to them in the present. It tells us where he is currently. It tells us the inherent conflict of his real feelings that he has always had vs his resistance to change (symbolized by thundergun itself changing, skillfully enough). Dee Day: Transitional. It solidifies the conflict regarding the relationship itself, not just Dennis’ personal one. It tries to unite the past with the future, but fails because the needs of the arc haven’t been met yet. So it sets up Chokes. Chokes: The first turning point. Mac and Dennis are able to work out their core hang-ups, and realize they are still perfect for each other. First part of the relationship conflict resolution. First acceptance of change: Mac learns to make his own decisions and not follow what Dennis wants. Texts: The second turning point. Mac and Dennis work out their communication problems. Also advancement of the situation of Dennis’ conflict. Mac and Charlie become aware of Den's feelings. This is the second part of the relationship conflict resolution, not yet the ending of it as Dennis’ conflict hasn’t been resolved, thus the relationship conflict can’t yet either. Mops: The aftermath. Now that Charlie is involved, we take a look at his point of view of Mac and Dennis, now that he knows. The conflict between Charlie and Mac+Dennis will likely be established here, as it will start to give the character his motivation for what’s to come all the way to the finale. Either that or it’s breathing room, but I stand by my case that no episode is a filler in this season. Global Warming: Advancement of the conflict of the dynamic between Charlie and Mac+Dennis, and advancement of Dennis’ personal conflict. Charlie, now knowing, is fed up at things not going forward for Mac+Dennis, he was happy at Mac figuring it out, hoping it would lead them to speed things up and stop bothering him with their complex rituals, but they haven’t. He’s annoyed with Mac and Dennis about this whole thing. This is the character motivation that drives him to tell Frank what he knows, possibly in frustration after something that happens in GW. Remember how in The Gang Escapes, Charlie passes the key to Frank, and it’s him who opens the lock. Chop: Confronting the issue, running away from it. This is the start of Dennis’ spiraling because of his conflict, that will lead him to the events of the finale. Frank is paired with Dennis, something truly rare. It's on purpose. He confronts Dennis about his feelings. Dennis denies. Gains a new motivation going forward and into the finale: proving that his denial is actually accurate. Jumper: With his new motivation setting in motion the events that will lead to the finale, he bangs a chick. Trying to prove it further, he thinks of a plan to get Mac off of him for good, thinking that's why people keep believing that he’s gay. Big Mo: Obviously, the finale. The final turning point. Acceptance of change. Resolution of Dennis’ personal conflict. End of the conflict of the dynamic between Charlie and Mac+Dennis, as all the other conflicts have been resolved, so he too is content.

As change is finally accepted, we reach a Point B in the finale, different from the Point A at which we started. Change is effective on Dennis, which now accepts himself fully, and feels ready. Change is effective on Mac, which makes him make his own decisions no matter what Dennis wants, and thus doesn’t jump into the relationship yet.

One year from the finale, season 15. We have a new beginning. It’s unclear whether the year of waiting is supposed to be for the audience or in-universe, so it’s unclear whether in s15 we’ll deal with a reversed dynamic of Dennis yearning and Mac refusing, or if the year passes off screen as we wait, which would imply the promise that S15 starts with canon MacDennis.

Either way, this is my dissection of the season so far, and obviously I might be very wrong, and if I am please don’t kill me, but this is how I think things are going, and how I think things will go.

Feel free to ask me about anything that is unclear, as english isn’t my first language so I might’ve explained something a little roughly. I do look forward to knowing the fandom’s reception to my thoughts, if anyone is brave enough to read all the way through here. And hey, if you did, thank you so so much! I hope you enjoyed it.

[sprinkledonion-blog]

Another real long “I don’t like Bumbleby” post (Part 2)

Part 1 is here. 

The Adam fiasco

We’ve reached the most controversial point in the essay: Adam.

Adam was… a symbol. He didn’t have much to offer in personality and screentime, but he represented. Until he stopped representing and became a mere tool for Bumbleby to develop.

I know, I know, another Adam fan who coincidentally dislikes Bumbleby. What can I say?

Adam was the sacrificial goat for Bumbleby. His existence became so tied to them that his whole faunus vs SDC plot became just an afterthought. He became a puppet to do Evil Things; if you pay close attention, especially in daylight scenes, you can actually see the strings on his back.

Adam had lost his way in every sense of the word. And he became a monster: Bumbleby’s heart.

Bees are gonna beat me up for this one.

Yes, Adam became such a vital piece for Bumbleby to develop, their whole relationship revolved around him. Yes, he traumatized both girls, but V1-V2 gave us nothing else to chew on. No bonding, no cute smiles, no development. Adam triggered the rise of Bumbleby like kaboom. Bam, now there’s Bumbleby. And what cemented their relationship? Killing him.

I need to ask: why does a wlw relationship revolve around a man? Why does everything in RWBY come back to a man? Jaune speaks over Ruby. Pyrrha dies so Jaune can have development. Qrow steals screentime along with Oscar like a madman. Adam is a matchmaker. Can the “RWBY is a feminist show” take die already? It ran away when Pyrrha was fridged.

Worse is? Bumbleby is good because Bumbleby is BETTER than Tauradonna.

Or so it seems. Ahem.

Now. Of course it’ll be better than Tauradonna, as it isn’t an abusive relationship. But what I mean is, this is the ONLY thing going for it. Oh, you should ship it because it’s better than Tauradonna. No, it’s not its own thing. It’s just better than Tauradonna. And no, we can’t stop comparing to it.

I know abuse leaves you a wound it’s difficult to heal, and you’ll inevitably make a comparison. I’ve been in an abusive relationship too. But Bumbleby should be its own thing, developed separately from Tauradonna, and then compared. I didn’t get enough screentime and reasons to ship them, and now you want me to compare it to an abusive relationship? Of course I choose Bumbleby! The other option is horrendous and… hey, this is more manipulative than I thought!

And the killing… oh, there’s nothing more romantic than killing a guy together. Maybe I’ll try this next time I wanna date a dude. Forget Netflix and chill, this is the real thing!

The show handled it… shakingly okay. Blake cried, Yang comforted her. Alright. Fine.

But now Adam’s not here, what’s gonna happen? Let me guess: we’ll get all the Bumbleby screentime we didn’t get early enough. Some say “Great, now it’s gonna be RW-BY instead of RWBY”. Maybe. I don’t really care. Ruby seemed to be more comfortable alongside JNR, and Weiss does what she can. Maybe she could get incorporated to the team too? Or form a new one with Qrow and Oscar (and Ozpin)? Hey, it’s not a bad idea. Either way, the dynamics will change, but as long as they don’t take too much time off other characters, it’ll be fine. I gave up.

DC comics development

I’m not 100% sure of how to feel with this one.

I couldn’t read the DC comic, but some… definitely interesting screenshots were posted. I could see that they don’t care very much about canon (I can’t take Raven seriously anymore). But they also patched some things up, meaning: Bumbleby.

Remember when I complained about not seeing enough Bumbleby bonding to actually buy the ship? Well, DC comics gifted us one, two, eight panels of Bumbleby bonding: borrowing books, offering food, braiding hair. Sounds very nice… and very late. And very fake.

Why didn’t we see this on the show? This feels like those eight panels are supposed to show peak Bumbleby bonding and we must be satisfied with it. Peak LGBT+ representation right there. Why didn’t we cut off Arkos, Renora, Iceberg and Blacksun and spent time with Bumbleby instead? Why should I feel satisfied with a mere eight panels?

Not genuine at all.

Bonus: the newest take goes like “DC comics was CRWBY trying to build more Bumbleby with moments at Beacon we didn’t get to see in the show because the episodes were ONLY 6 MINUTES LONG”. So CRWBY had time to build Arkos, Renora, Iceberg, Blacksun and not the main ship? Those 6 minutes were enough to build straight relationships but not the main wlw one? What an unfortunate coincidence.

What would have you done differently?

Team BSCE.

Bonding: why is Yang interested in Blake? Why is Blake interested in Yang? What does make Yang feel like she can be vulnerable around Blake instead of, let’s say, Weiss? What do they talk about, that isn’t Adam, or Ozpin? Do they have private jokes? Do they look forward to spend time together? Does Blake know what Yang’s favorite food is? Do they train together more time than they should? Why do they love each other? How do they support each other? Does Yang read books about faunus?

Showing: how does Yang feel when Sun flirts with Blake? How does Blake feel when Yang flirts with guys? What makes them blush? What is their body language? Do they notice things about each other no one else notices? Do they think about closeness? Do they think about each other at night? Do they think about kissing each other? How does their attitude change? Do the rest realize something’s going on?

Conflicting: besides Adam, what problems do they have? Blake has been shown to feel like a burden and isolate herself, but what about Yang? Do they have things about each other they barely stand? Do they share the exact same mindset? Do they have arguments and about what? How do they handle disagreements and arguments? How do they approach problems? How do they fix them? Do the same problems come up over and over again? What things they don’t tell each other? What do they hide from each other? Do they expect each other to defend them on arguments with others?

Exploring: what’s their endgame like? What are their dreams and goals, and do they collide with each other? Do they think about the future? Do they have a theme? Did they develop separately, as individual people, before developing their relationships? Are they dependent? If one of them died, would the other (take revenge and) move forward, or fall into deep depression? Can they live apart from each other and things don’t change? And what if things do change? What things change? How do they face change?

Yes, I love asking questions. One brings another, and another, and before you realize, you thought a lot about the couple and their core. You don’t need to answer every single one of these questions, but it can help you develop a clearer and deeper relationship, better than… I don’t know, sudden love?

Show bonus (what I posted on twitter):

·         Yang interested in faunus. It is sudden, and Ruby realizes (Yang taking lots of notes during history class but only on faunus lessons, finding her in the library reading about faunus [allows for cute funny moment! Yang never reads!], talking to Velvet)

·         After being informed, Yang asking Blake about her experiences (Adam topic could be brought up and thus foreshadowed), making them closer. This also has an impact on Yang, which drives her to defend Velvet from Cardin, making friends with Sun, etc

·         Yang would also be more careful about the jokes she makes, trying not to make any racist ones and letting Blake explain her which ones are

·         Just talking in general. Deciding to spend time together when they're free (that does NOT mean they're never with the group)

·         Free time together allows for more talking and deeper topics brought up more naturally (ex: more about Yang's mother, maybe some other insecurities, further deepening her character)

·         Blake realizing Yang is allowing herself to be "weaker" around her, so she supports her a lot

·         They would defend each other in an argument against Weiss for example, and if that isn't the case, whoever wasn't defended would feel hurt and they would have to talk about it (fixing problems and talking out disagreements)

·         LISTENING AND TALKING TO EACH OTHER

·         Knowing small things about each other, for example Yang's secret place when she wants to think, Blake's favourite tea, etc

·         Yang trying to show off her strength, making flirtatious comments that Blake doesn't get and getting embarrassed

·         Yang feeling hurt when Blake spends more time with Sun and seems to be falling in love with her, but not acting on it because she doesn't wanna to get in their way and wants Blake to be happy

·         Blake missing Yang

·         Yang trying to flirt with other girls and Blake feeling strange

·         When talking with Sun, the Yang topic is brought up frequently and Sun realizes and tells Blake she seems special, Blake starts to realize something

·         Blake running away breaks Yang as she had put a lot of trust on her, even allowing herself to be "weak", and she knew about Yang's abandonment issues. Yes it's the same in canon, but it had more buildup and thus is more heartbreaking

·         During Menagerie arc, Yang is brought up often and Blake finally realizes her feelings, while Sun accepts his place as just a friend and supports her all the way (also Yang is his friend too, remember!)

·         From this point on you can drop canon on it just fine

·         BUT ADD THE TALK™! They need to talk about Blake running away. PLEASE.

Conclusion

This is not me saying “Do NOT ship Bumbleby”. Ship whatever the hell you want. I ship things that don’t even make sense. This is me saying “Your ship isn’t as good as you think it is, please stop attacking other shippers for pointing it out, and no, your argument ‘you’re just homophobic’ isn’t always valid”.

I don’t want to talk about bees anymore. Never again. But I probably will, when volume 7 drops. Until then…

Beehaw, I guess.

[kumeko]

Title: September Beaches

A/N: For the Xion zine! I couldn’t resist writing the Sea Salt trio for this. Or the Star Wars reference, because that is the only sane response to sand when you’re an adult.

…

…

…

…

“Guys.” Biting her lip nervously, Xion pulled her hoodie tighter around her head. She glanced furtively around before scrambling down the sidewalk after her best friends. “This is a bad idea. We should go to school.”

 “It’ll be fine, Xion!” Roxas smiled at her reassuringly. Which it could have been, if it weren’t for the backpack hanging off his shoulder. It felt like a siren, a bright red target telling every adult they crossed ‘hey, I’m skipping,’ and Xion wanted nothing more than to toss it into the bushes. “Axel does this, like, all the time.”

 “You know I go to school too, right?” Axel frowned, digging his hands in his pockets. He slouched slightly as he walked, folding up his lanky frame.  Not that it made much of a difference—with the three of them walking in a row, he was still the tallest thing around. Add in how short she and Roxas were and Axel was practically a giant. “I only do this sometimes.”

Technically, he was right—if he didn’t go to school at all, they’d never have met. Yet, every part of Axel screamed delinquent—from his dyed red hair to his eye tattoos to the fact that he walked like he owned the street. Even now he was very relaxed, not caring about the looks he got or the fact that he was drawing attention. Xion gave him a dry look. “Sure.”

 “Not you too!” Axel grumbled, his brow furrowed. Noticing her hoodie, he flicked it off. “The more you try to hide, the more suspicious you look.”

 “Hey!” Xion flushed a bright red. Looking around to make sure no one noticed, she quickly burrowed back into her hoodie. “What if someone notices us?”

 He gave her a blank stare before pushing her hoodie off again. “Seriously, they’re gonna notice you more with that. What are you, a mugger?”

 A fair point. Xion resisted the urge to hide her face again. Nervously, she tucked a lock behind her ear, feeling overly exposed as they strolled down the along the shop fronts. The few adults who were wandering around didn’t give them a second glance but she could still feel their eyes on her back as they walked.

 “And you’re sure you don’t do this every day?” Roxas pulled off his own hat, revealing a shock of blonde hair. “So, uh, why are we going to the beach?”

 “It’s a weekday. No one’s going to be there.” Axel shrugged, lacing his arms behind his head. Just ahead of them, at the end of the street, endless water lapped against a sandy shore. A sharp, clear smell flooded their senses. “Best time to go the beach.”

 “Yes. But.” Xion glanced at Axel, not sure if this really needed saying. “It’s September.”

 “And?” Axel raised a brow. He gestured at the empty parking lots ahead. “That actually makes it better—no one’s here.”

 “Except for the crazies,” Roxas chimed in. As the beach got closer and closer, he ran toward the water. Excitement coloured his voice. “AND US!”

 “Is he calling us crazy?” Axel asked. Despite his annoyed tone, his pace quickened as well.

 Xion shivered as the cool breeze blew off the lake and hit her bare legs. It was so easy for them to act like that—they were wearing pants. She had a skirt. Tugging the hem down, she tried futilely to cover more of her thighs but goosebumps covered her skin nonetheless. “I should have worn my tights.”

 Neither of her friends heard her. Already they were far ahead, walking on the sand. Roxas ran down to the water, hopping along the edge where the water lapped shore. “Do you think it’s cold?”

 “Probably.” Axel sank in the sand unevenly as he walked. “It was cold this summer.”

 “It might not be.” Standing at the border between the sand and the pavement, Xion squinted at the sand. The only truth in life: the near impossibility of removing sand from anything. “The water’s warmest now.”

 “Really?” Roxas stared at her hopefully. He crouched in front of the water, his hand just above the receding tide.

 “Yeah.” Biting the bullet, she slipped off her socks and shoes. It’d be easier to wash her feet than her shoes. “It absorbed heat all summer.”

 “Someone’s paying attention in class.” Axel smirked, more playful than insulting.

 Xion snorted. “Someone has to. You don’t go to school.”

 “Hey, I said I don’t skip everyday!”

 “Sure you don’t.” Roxas grinned, joining in on the teasing. Considering the more mature vibe Axel gave off, it was almost impossible to get one over him. They’d milk this for all it’s worth.

 “Yeah, yeah. At least I don’t act like I murdered someone when I’m just skipping.” Axel picked up Roxas’s abandoned backpack, dusting off a side. Setting it down just above the waterline, Axel lay down on the soft sand and used it as a pillow.

 “Huh?” Surprised, Roxas’s hand slipped into the water and he stiffened for a moment. “Huh. It isn’t cold.” He stared at it for a moment before remembering Axel. Jumping to his feet, he marched over to his friend. “Hey! That’s my backpack.”

 “Finders keepers,” Axel murmured, his eyes closed.

 Xion daintily stepped onto the sand, her feet sinking in slightly as she walked over to them. She wriggled her toes in the soft substance. It wasn’t as hot as she expected it to be, and she felt a pang of sadness; summer really was over. Standing on Axel’s other side, she rested a hand on her hip. “Did you skip school just to sleep?”

 He cracked an eye open. “If I say yes, will you two leave?”

 “Wait, is this what you do every time you skip? You sleep?” Roxas crossed his arms and tapped his foot on the sand quickly. “Seriously?”

 “Not every time.” Axel closed his eyes again, yawning. “Just sometimes.”

 “That’s kinda sad.” Or pathetic, but she really didn’t want to say that one. Still, while he could take naps every other time he skipped, Axel wasn’t allowed to do it this time. He’d convinced her and Roxas to skip school. She had lied to a teacher, pretending to be Roxas’s mom. Xion kicked Axel lightly in the leg. “Get up.”

 Axel swatted her foot away. “Give me an hour.”

 “No.” Roxas crouched down next to Axel, an evil smile on his face. Holding up a fistful of sand, he started to dribble it on Axel’s pants. “If you don’t get up, I’m burying you.”

 This woke him up quickly. Axel’s eyes sprang open. “You wouldn’t.”

 “We would.” Xion grinned just as evilly, crouching on his other side. She had two scoops of sand and she stared pointedly at his hair. “Wonder how long it’ll take to wash out of that.”

 “Okay, okay, I got it.” He held up his hands. “What are you two, gremlins?”

 “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Roxas stared at the hand shaking in front of him. “What are you trying to do? Be a zombie?”

 “Help me up,” Axel stated flatly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 “You can do that yourself.” Nevertheless, Xion stood up, grabbing Axel’s right hand with her free one. “Ready Roxas?”

 Roxas stared up at her for a few seconds before giving up with a pout. “What a baby.” He clasped Axel’s left hand, bracing himself. “Three, two—”

 “One!” Axel shouted, yanking them back.

 Xion yelped, her shoes sent flying through the air. For a brief moment, she watched it arc over her in slow-motion before she hit the ground hard. The sand wasn’t quite as soft when she fell on it and she groaned as she rolled side to side, cradling her head.

 “Axel…” Roxas forced out, his voice strained. “I’m going to…kill you.”

 “Not if I…” Xion managed, pain filtering in her voice. “To kill him first.”

 “Sorry, sorry, didn’t think it’d hurt that much.” Axel patted their heads lightly. That hurt even more and Xion rolled away.

 She could just feel the grainy sand in her shirt, burrowing into her hoodie. It was going to be weeks before she lost that sensation. Months if she was unlucky. She glared at Axel. “You.”

 “Me.” Axel rubbed his neck awkwardly, looking at his other side where Roxas was slowly crawling toward him. “Right. You know what, I’m going to get a popsicle for us. Sea salt good?” He didn’t even wait for a response before jumping to his feet. “You just wait there.”

 “Axel!” Xion growled, swiping at him, but it was too late. For a man too lazy to participate in gym class, he sure could sprint when he wanted to. Already he was at the pavement, quickly walking to the closest ice-cream shop.

 “Coward.” With a wince, Roxas sat up. He shook his head, spraying sand around, before running his hands through his hair. “It’s never going to leave.”

 “Nope.” Suddenly, Xion felt a kinship to Anakin Skywalker. She sat up, brushing as much off her sweatshirt as she could. “He did not think that through.”

 Roxas nodded grimly. “Nope. Not at all.”

 With a sigh, Xion stared at the lake in front of her. The slightly murky water as it lapped the beach. It was a pretty enough beach. Seagulls cried around her, entire flocks slowly walking across the sand as they looked for stray scraps leftover from the summer fun. There was a couple in the distance, slowly walking along the shoreline. “It’s kinda pretty. I guess.”

 “Yeah. If it weren’t chilly and everything, I’d like it.” Roxas spat out some sand with a grimace. “Even with the sand.”

 “I guess he’s right. It’s good to take a break like this.” Xion leaned back, enjoying the wind as it played with her bangs. “Every now and then.”

 “Me too—just…don’t tell him that.” When Xion glanced at him questioningly, Roxas shuddered. “Just think how big his head’ll get.”

 “Ginormous.” Xion giggled and nodded in agreement. The last thing she wanted was for him to make this a normal thing. It was fun only once in a while. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath of the chilly air.

 She could really go for some sea salt ice cream.