#its also very hard for me to initiate things which is sort of essential for rp

[synthetic-sonata]

it is so fucking hard to rp when you have anxiety this shit sucks

[aces-and-angels]

ART CAMPAIGN BOOST SUBMISSIONS:

edit: i hit the image limit for this post, so any new additions will be included here

the tag is starting to get kinda crowded (great problem, dw). i just thought compiling them all here would make things easier for everyone to find! all of the art displayed below is free to use for the purposes of promoting vetted gfm's here on tumblr. no credit is needed unless specified (marked = ***). if you have any questions regarding how to craft a post using any of the art provided -> please do not hesitate to reach out to me! note: please press follow post as i will most likely need to update this masterlist from time to time.

some info is below the cut on how to best utilize this material. please read it in its entirety before using any artwork. thank you 🖤

learn how to make art for this project here:

---

this project has gained a lot of momentum and has shown very promising results. the level of engagement once art is attached to a vetted gfm increases significantly. you will see what i mean as i have linked example posts of how to best use these pieces to help families in need.

i currently have a list of over 20+ families that i am spotlighting in my own personal progress tracker (the list has gotten so long that i now need to make a second version to accommodate all the families trying to get in contact with me).

this art campaign boost is truly meant to be utilized by anyone. i would sincerely appreciate it if y'all could take some time and pick maybe 1-2 people from this list and use the art below to create your own signal boost posts on the families' behalf. as someone who is periodically tracking their progress- i know that donation rates have slowed for a number of them. i am one person and can only do so much on my own. the essence of this initiative is to get more people to mobilize as a collective. it will take everyone to get on board in order for these families to be able to reach their goals. that means spotlighting their accounts/campaigns periodically.

you need to keep up the momentum.

the individuals you are helping currently live in areas with minimal internet connection, meaning it is very difficult to spotlight themselves on their own. especially since this site is continuously suppressing/deleting their accounts. they need you to interact with their content. tumblr isn't like other social media sites. it's known for being very 'anti-algorithm' and it's common culture for many of us to not really care about our levels of engagement (i.e. follower count/amount of notes per post). it's very hard for your own content to "break" your inner circle of followers and gain traction if the topic of the post is not "popular" or "trending" these families are not operating on this site the same way you are. you may be using this platform as a means to "just vibe" but they are using it as a desperate attempt to raise essential funding to save their lives. the importance that their posts be elevated cannot be overstated. anyone who has ever created any sort of og content here knows how quickly a post can die out if no one interacts with it. this cannot happen with them.

tips for making your own signal boost post* (*for vetted campaigns):

-> make it easy to read + eye-catching: the problem i am seeing when you search many of these families' accounts is that their "tag" (username of their account) is full of the same types of posts (i.e. a generic response to their initial message to another person on tumblr) <- aka it is very easy for people to tune out which is the opposite of what we want to happen. creating your OWN posts in response to their asks allows the art to appear FIRST when people look up someone's account via tumblr's search bar, which will attract more attention to their accounts. it also forces people who are making these posts to actually sit down and read the stories they are sharing with the rest of their mutuals/lurkers alike -> include verification sources: the main reason people are searching for these accounts is b/c they are trying to see if it is okay to reblog/share their campaign with their own following. if you address this plainly and early on in your post that includes artwork -> people are more likely to interact -> tag the account you are promoting: please include the families' account as one of your #'s so it will appear when you search for their names on tumblr. also try @'ing their account in your post so it'll be easier for these families to find your work. some of them are incredibly new to the platform and may not be aware of all its features. something that you may find intuitive may not be as easily understood for these individuals. your role is to make them as easy as possible to find for others so they can gain more support. --- don't have time to type out a whole post for a family on their behalf? -> interact with one of theirs! attach something nice/helpful to their posts so it is more readily available for others to share. the same rules apply from above. as i said before, some of these accounts are brand spanking new and are not formatted in the same ways as others that may be more well-versed on how tumblr operates in terms of promoting their campaigns. (for example: even if the account has been vetted/verified by multiple trusted individuals- the owners of that account may not know to include that info in their posts about their campaign every single time they post. you can make their lives easier by including that info for them by reblogging one of their og posts and adding the necessary info on their behalf)

you can also find a more comprehensive list of vetted campaigns by el-shab-hussein/nabulsi here <- their list is now over 200+ with several campaigns that are "in the red" (very low in funding). please do not hesitate to try to spotlight anyone from this list as well!

el-shab-hussein also has a masterpost pinned here with additional campaigns (including those for other countries like sudan)

alright i've explained enough- time for the art!

artist: @rhq274 | @rhq2744 *** free to use, credit required meet raghad (read and share full post here) Hello, I am Raghad Qanou, a medical student from Gaza City. My people and I have been subjected to genocide for more than 230 days. My family and I have lived through various types of torture and inhumane conditions. This link is my only chance for me and my family to escape death and try to start over. This is not easy. But we are trying, and we would be happy to have you help save our lives and our future. instructions to utilize artwork: those who wish to share raghad's art MUST do ALL of the following: -> follow raghad on tumblr @rhq274 | @rhq2744 -> like + reblog one or more of her posts seen on her account that promotes her fundraiser (you may also include additional art shown below to help further boost her campaign; see example) once those actions detailed above are completed, you may use raghad's art to promote her campaign. *if you are utilizing this art for another campaign that is not raghad's -> you must also mention + link her fundraiser as well /// for those able: please consider donating to raghad's campaign here (vetted; no 221 on el-shab-hussein/nabulsi's sheet)

artist: me lol free to use, no credit required example

artist: @lampyri free to use, no credit required example

artist: @aria-ashryver free to use, no credit required example

artist: @monmonp0k free to use, credit not required- but if given, is appreciated example

artist: @juudaimes-true-form free to use, no credit required example

artist: @gaiuskamilah free to use, no credit required example

artist: @marnota free to use on all social media platforms (i.e. tumblr, insta, twitter, etc), no credit required example

artist: @marquainequeen free to use, no credit required example

artist: @palms-upturned free to use, no credit required example

artisit: @inkyswampbones free to use, no credit required example

[wavernot4love]

some The Jaws Of Life takes, now that the album has collectively sunk in for me a bit more, from the perspective of a PTV fan of nine years:

- gonna be bold and say in its own way, this album gives me the most a flair for the dramatic vibes of anything they've released since, ESPECIALLY flawless execution

- emergency contact feels somewhere in between flair and selfish machines, with a modern twist. even lyrically it reminds me of some strange little track that might be in the middle of selfish machines.

- i also saw someone say, before i listened to the album, that it in a sense feels like floral & fading embodied by an album. and in hindsight, i can understand that. i think based on misadventures + things the band has said about this album's direction, people should go in expecting a take on ptv comparable to moments like that, which also manage to encapsulate the past. i will say it reminds me of collide with the sky the least of all the albums, instead choosing to recall ptv's origins, further develop, yet also reinvent, the direction of misadventures, and chase the future of the band.

- and if you want to go HARD to a song? well, you've got the moment that introduced us all to this era, pass the nirvana. truly a track that pushed the boundaries of what ptv's "heavy" side can mean, in my opinion.

- flair and selfish machines were truly NOT *excessively* heavy albums and i wish people would consider that more. did they have their moments? absolutely. but, in fact, that dreamy, confessional, brooding, sort of far out vibe (and take on post hardcore) those albums have most of the time has always been, to me, the quintessential aspect of ptv, and my personal favorite. and the reason selfish machines is my favorite album. and that element is very much there on jaws, just translated more into this evolved sound. to clarify, i'm talking moments like these few

and for me, that's why a massive, yet atmospheric track like even when i'm not with you (+ its counterpart, resilience) feels just right in pierce the veil's discography.

- and then there's moments (like the title track, which initially had me going from "wait, is this a semblance of selfish machines? no, that's not quite right... i don't think i've heard this from them before", or so far so fake's infectiously melodic hooks) that i can't specifically trace back to a specific era, yet feel so unequivocally ptv.

what i'm trying to say, essentially, is that ethos that makes ptv the incredibly unique, somewhat twisted, deeply emotional entity it always has been is abundantly and familiarly there, it just presents itself in a refreshing way.

this is not collide with the sky 2.0. and that, it shouldn't be.

i could talk about pierce the veil forever, man. such an original goddamn band, historically such a unique spin on post hardcore that i've never seen another band quite capture + an ability to go beyond defined genre limitations, one of the bands that made me love music in the first place nine years ago. feel free to share your takes <3

[risette-blast]

PERSONA 2 INNOCENT SIN SPOILERS AHEAD! DON'T READ THIS IF YOU'RE REMOTELY INTERESTED IN PLAYING THE GAME AND HAVEN'T BEEN SPOILED ON IT!!

(oh there are also traitor spoilers for P5 in here, but I feel like anyone who has played P2 has also played P5 already lol)

so last night, I finished P2IS. the ending still hurts by the way lol. but i've had a bit of time since then to think about the game in retrospect. so i wrote up a thought dump with sort of my "initial" thoughts on the game on twitter. afterwards, i decided to repost it here but with more detail since i'm not constrained with a character limit the same way I am with twitter (it's still gonna be in bullet points bc I don't really want to structure this like an essay haha)

this game's ending really was brutal. this is the main thing I've commented on ever since finishing the game, but it truly is awful. Maya is stabbed and killed, Lisa can't even heal her with Dia no matter how much she tries. the Earth is destroyed by suddenly stopping its rotation, causing the resultant inertia to instantly kill everything. in the end, it just turns out to be a rigged game between Philemon and Nyarlathotep (god that name is hard to spell lol). and then the entire cast is forced to go back in time and forget their memories with each other and everything to prevent the world from ending again. it's truly a cruel fate for them, I really did want them to have a happy ending so it just really hurts. 😭

a lot of this game's moments hit hard due to how good the OST is. this has honestly gone up to being one of my favorite Persona OSTs, and given how strong its competition has been, that's a noteworthy feat.

the gameplay was ass lol. I can't pretend it was good, it's worse than P1 in some areas which is wild (still liked IS more overall though, 1 has some very questionable mechanics)

now apparently this is specific to the PSP version, but man the menus were so slow. thankfully I was playing on an emulator so I even had this option but I genuinely just sped up the game somewhat frequently just to get through the menus more quickly

it was also probably the easiest Persona game I've ever played. P5R is genuinely harder. i'm not even kidding. I've gone on and on about how easy P5R is (on twitter), but P2IS makes P5R look challenging in comparison.

the characters were great. i didn't think I'd care about them as much as I did. they all had wonderful bonds with each other. personally I felt like yukino was the "weak" link, and like she doesn't have the bonds the other do so it only makes sense. and even then? she has some great moments and is genuinely well written too. I had played P1 before this but yukino wasn't in my party so she essentially disappeared; it's nice to actually get to know her.

that said, I don't rly like how P1 and P2 both kinda hide extra character details behind very optional dialogue that's easy to miss. it's not nearly as bad in IS though bc they get more characterization in the main story, so a lot of the characters in IS resonated with me more on a first playthrough than 1's characters did.

I've heard some people say P2's shadow encounters are better than P4's. I'm not sure I agree with that at least just from IS, but I thought they were pretty competent. I did like that they built up to the shadow encounters throughout the game, it's an interesting approach.

...personally I still like the P4 shadow encounters more overall. I just also really like the way the IS shadow encounters were handled too especially in the context of the story.

the dialogue about personas and masks was really cool. I wish the new Persona games did acknowledge that everyone has multiple masks they put on. the only characters from P3-P5 who really explore this imo (as far as I can remember) are Rise and Akechi, and even then, it's not nearly as substantial as 1/2. Rise's arc is more about her accepting that she can have multiple selves that are all her, and with Akechi, while he has two different masks that represent both the facade he presents to society vs his true nature, it's just a case of facade vs true nature, whereas IS acknowledges that everyone has multiple masks they present to society that form a full self.

I personally wasn't too invested in the romance options, and the game clearly didn't consider them super important either seeing as they barely affect the story or interactions, but I really did like that Jun was presented as a genuine, serious option. also it's not like P3-5 where it's kinda subjective, I feel like Jun just fits the best especially in retrospect.

I now truly understand why newsona's mechanics (calendar, s.links, etc) wouldn't work at all. there's no room in the story for that.

I didn't think the pacing was the best tbh. it feels like not a lot happens at first, then they throw a ton of story at you halfway through the game, then a lot more near the end. it could've been distributed a little better. I hear EP is better with this though.

I do have a few issues with the way the plot was presented. tbh it was just a little absurd lol, and also revealing that the whole story was Philemon vs Nyarlathotep (again, tough name to spell lol) at the very end was kinda mid. maybe I'll like it more with the context of EP. but what really made the story for me was ultimately the characters and their development, not so much the actual events in the plot itself, if that makes sense.

I love the ending theme, kimi no tonari. when you realize that the sumaru city (and a lot of songs in the game) share the same general leitmotif it just makes you sad to hear them in retrospect 😔

[four-loose-screws]

(Apologies in advance for the long ask, there was just a lot I had to say on this topic, and wanted to present my case as throughly as possible)

Hello there, first I just want to say thank you for all the hard work you do, I and no doubt many others truly appreciate it. Anyway, I saw your translation regarding Etie and Goldmary’s support conversations and it reminded me of a personal theory regarding it that I’ve had for some time. When I first heard of the differences between the Japanese and English conversations, one thing that came to my mind was a somewhat similar conversation that was also changed for presumably similar reasons, that being Tharja and Nowi’s Harvest Scarmble conversation in Awakening. Basically that conversation initially had Nowi admiring Tharja’s, umm … “boingy bits” but was changed to Nowi admiring her hair instead. Now this change was only made in the EU version while the NA version kept the “boingy bits” part intact, and the more I’ve learned about how rating systems in different regions tend to operate, I’ve begun to noticed certain patterns. In this case when it comes to places like Australia, they can be extremely strict when it comes to any sort of sexual content particularly when it involves younger looking characters, which in the case of Nowi is very evident thus offering a possible explanation for why that particular conversation in Awakening had to be changed. The reason I bring up Australia in particular, is that if you’re not aware they have quite the history of editing games and even refusing releases for all sorts of reasons, including the aforementioned “sexual content with younger looking characters”. If you want more information, here’s a link to the Wikipedia article that goes more into it with some examples: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_banned_video_games_in_Australia

So what does all of this have to do with this conversation in particular you may ask? Well perhaps due to Etie being 17 there was some concern if this conversation could place them into a similar issue. Now yes the ages are strictly resorted to the data files of the game and whether Etie in particular looks young enough to raise some flags is debatable (especially since she’s not in the same camp as a Nowi per say), but the fact that it’s at all present in the game to some capacity might be enough to err on the side of caution, and even if that wasn’t an issue I still think it’s possible that it could potentially raise the game rating up in some part of the world or worse get the game refused for classification, since it appears that even T (ESRB) or 12+ (PEGI) games aren’t exempt from the latter. And as a result of the change, it had a knock on effect to the B-Support as now the original wouldn’t exactly flow all that well into the revised A-Support, essentially keeping the overall theme of the conversation as close as possible within the limitations. Of course this is purely speculation, as far as I know I could be totally wrong on this but I do find the discrepancy between the aforementioned Tharja and Nowi conversation to be worth bringing up. Perhaps the reason why both NA and EU received the same conversation is that since it’s now fully voiced, they didn’t want to go through the trouble of making an alternative and since NOA and NOE in recent years have more or less unified to have the same English script everywhere in contrast with previous generations where both of them would do their own thing, possibly as a result of games typically coming out on the same day everywhere now.

Personally I like to believe that the issue that the team ran into was the A Support for all the reasons listed above and thus had a knock-on effect to the B Support to make it flow better, as I don’t think they would’ve changed that on its own, maybe they would’ve reworded some things but otherwise keep it relatively close, especially since some other “spicy” stuff like Goldmary undressing in her support with Framme was kept intact, but perhaps the A-Support could’ve be seen as pushing it when it came to getting a higher age rating or worse banned. It’s tough to say since unless someone who worked on the localization ever talks about this, all we can do is speculate and unless something else comes up, this sounds the most plausible to me with my understanding of ratings and how it can affect localizations. But what do you think, have you ever ran into something that made you consider the possibility of tightroping rating boards, whether it be the ESRB or elsewhere, I’m really interested in hearing what you have to say. Once again thank you for all your hard work and I hope you have a great day.

This is great speculation, everyone please enjoy a good read! I don't have too much to add, but here goes!

I didn't think too much into why exactly Etie and Goldmary's supports were rewritten, just had some vague ideas like "them fighting over who's more attractive to men wouldn't sit well with a general audience nowadays." If my thoughts are too speculative, sometimes I'll just choose to keep them to myself, lest the inevitable game of internet telephone turns my vague ideas into some sort of fact or something. It just happens sometimes.

I can't think of any other specific examples right away where the localization team might have had to tightrope rating boards, but I'm sure I've seen some examples in the past. It's just not an angle that tends to come to my mind when doing my original vs localization work.

Your thought that the Etie and Goldmary change was due to rating board guidelines makes a lot of sense, I don't know why I didn't think of that! Everything you say lines up with the general trends I've seen over the years. The Tharja and Nowi convo is a perfect parallel.

While I choose to focus on a USA perspective in my posts, of course, because that's the one I have, I to have read a bit online over the years about what's "too sexy" and "not too sexy" in the US vs. JP vs. Australia. Plus I made several Australian friends while teaching English in Japan, so I learned lots of bits and pieces of cultural differences from them. As a result, I've seen lots of little signs that show Australia was one of the first areas of the world to start to crack down really hard on sexualization of minors (both real and media characters), starting the global ripple affect we continue to see today.

And it's easy to prove that English language localizations are being more and more centralized, because, well, that one's easy - you just don't see differences between NOA and NOE, etc. scripts as much anymore. So that can mean localization teams have to pass multiple rating board "checks" at once.

Is this all for better or worse, that video games are becoming more of a melting pot to sell on a global scale? That rating boards can have such an influence over media? Well, that's hard to judge as a general concept. The answer is different case by case.

In my personal opinion on Etie & Goldmary's supports, I overall like the changes the localization team came up with. Whether the decision to make the changes was made internally or due to an outside influence like the rating boards, I think the team still carefully read the original conversation before making their changes. Even with entire lines rewritten, the general flow is still the same. Localizers can't always keep scripts the same detail to detail, but they can prove that they researched, cared for, and understood the game they were assigned to localize!

And that's generally what I have to say about that. Sorry its not a little more detailed!

[supernovaa-remnant]

'The characters didn't do what I wanted' so true.

It makes me scratch my head that r!wil starts sort of worshipping r!dream without being aware of the fact that he is indeed, a deity.

How does it feel for dream? He can hear/feel prayers, we know that, but is it any different? Will he ever reveal his true self? Or more like, reveal who he is, I don't think it would be great for dream to show up one day in blinding light with thousand eyes.

Does their relationship affect anything or anyone else? For example, the world sensing one of its biggest lords is down, in the mortal part or maybe loyal worshippers / priests feeling different

aksljdgsjhkdlksjahghdjjslkdjhsks karo I am so glad you've asked about this au (this au is actually taking over my mind send help lmao)

also yeah I went into this thinking "yippee!! healthy dreambur dynamic!!" and then the dreambur in question cornered me in a dark alley and forced me to write unhealthy devotion and themes of obsession and possession.

r!wilbur worshipping r!dream without even knowing that they're residing in a temple dedicated to dream is soooo arkrjsghdkjshgdjhshdshdgs

it feels a bit, odd, for dream. in some ways, it feels like a rush of power. it's so much more intimate in a way that dream wasn't aware was possible. because, sure, he can hear prayers from just about anyone, but most of the big temples have smaller prayer areas in which the prayers go to some spirits/angels under dream's domain (they're blobs, btw, very important you should know this).

uhm, some background for the god system in this au. there's major gods and minor gods and spirits/angels. both major gods and minor gods have their own little spirits, but major gods can also have minor gods who are essentially in charge of a subsect of their domain (ex: foolish in this au is a minor god under dream's domain of creation).

so, the reason dream heard wilbur's initial prayer loud and clear is because he didn't have any spirits stationed to essentially intercept calls at the temple because it was long since abandoned.

anyway, when wilbur begins praying directly to dream rather than a nameless god, the prayers wash over dream in waves. it's almost overwhelming, the power it holds. it's so much more intimate when wilbur is praying to dream directly, and in some ways it feels as though their souls are actually brushing against each other. wilbur doesn't realize it, but dream can very very clearly feel the difference. eventually dream does reveal that he's a god, but I haven't thought super hard about it yet.

important thing to know about dream in this au: he was not born a god. he became a god by killing the previous god of creation. this greatly upset the balance of the world as it was the first time a major god had been killed, and it essentially set the world into a sort of "dark age." this happened ~ a millennia before dream meets wilbur.

so, dream is more accustomed to the mortal realm than some other gods may be (though it does greatly depend on the god). a god existing in the mortal realm doesn't really cause anything big, but the other gods do notice, especially when it's a major god. dream does disappear sometimes to take care of the bigger prayers or to deal with godly stuff, but he keeps coming back for wilbur, something almost baffling (and, depending on the individual, concerning) to the other gods.

as for the other worshipers, they feel a bit different, but they don't think it's out of the ordinary. the gods in general go through phases of being more or less attentive to their followers. it's pretty normal, but, of course, the worshipers are doing everything in their power to appease dream so that he becomes more attentive again lol. mortals are needy like that.

as for the other gods, they notice. kristin & philza keep an eye on it (they were there when dream killed the previous god of creation.. it was something that really shook the entire divine community). techno is concerned for dream, because techno was there for a lot of the aftermath of dream's past and is worried about him falling back into destructive habits.

so, yeah, I hope that answers your question <3

[cruelfeline]

Because I am Totally Normal about this game and its characters, I spent the better part of my free time today considering Cuff's senses; namely, his sight.

It's occurred to me, after thinking about various dialogues and in-game situations, that I don't think he can actually see anything on his own. At least not, like, in terms of our concept of vision.

Cuff can sense things. His "compass" ability seems to work almost like a sort of echolocation, except with tiny birds instead of sound. And he appears to have some ability to sense magic, or power. He can, for example, sense the power of some of the necklaces Frey puts on and says as much. He can likewise sense the power in the Breakshards Frey collects after battle.

Actual sight, however, is different. And it's initially a little hard to pin down because, in certain circumstances, he appears very much able to see things that have no magical signature he could otherwise sense.

He can read, for one thing. At the beginning of the game, Frey cannot read Athian, but Cuff can, and so he reads things for her (while also teaching her, which I find perpetually precious!). Clearly, he is able to see with enough clarity that he's able to accurately make out Athian letters and words. He does this with generic signs and books: nothing that might have some sort of magic he could sense and decipher. It's all just plain old written script.

He can take note of various enemy characteristics, commenting positively or negatively on their appearances. He can see the paintings Frey finds on her journey and comments on them, too.

Then, of course, they're this fun example:

Essentially: Cuff appears able to visually see things when he needs to.

So! Why do I think he can't see on his own? And what, exactly, does that mean?

Well, take a dialogue like this:

Besides being deeply endearing to me, it's also quite interesting in that it appears to imply that Cuff is totally unaware of his currently very small surroundings. Frey and Cuff are in a Pilgrim's Refuge. It's a small space. There's not really anywhere for anything to hide. An enemy would be exceedingly easy to see. So why is Cuff momentarily panicked and asking Frey if there's something there?

Furthermore, why does Cuff, in various battle-related dialogues, ask Frey if they're surrounded, or how many enemies there are? A simple glance around would tell him, wouldn't it?

My personal headcanon is that Cuff sees through Frey's eyes. We know, after all, that he senses what she senses via the following:

What I believe, however, is that he only does so when he specifically focuses on the action. It's not automatic; he has to expend some effort and concentration in order to do it.

It would explain why he's able to do something like read to her: she's already looking closely at the text, and so he's able to reach through their connection and access her own sight. Same thing with something like the tower: she sees it, and he's able to briefly reach out and see it with her.

In other situations, it's simply not convenient or viable for him to look through her eyes. In sudden combat, it's quicker to ask if they're surrounded than to access her sight. It may also be a matter of... how to say... the stability of the image. If Frey is focused on reading and is looking at words on a page, her vision is more stable than if she is in battle, eyes flicking from place to place. In said battle scenario, it may be quite disorienting for Cuff to borrow her eyes, so it's easier for him to ask. Not to mention something like combat featuring much more stress and activity, hampering the concentration that may be needed for accurate sight-borrowing on very immediate notice. Especially if Cuff is more focused on, say, scanning or guarding.

In terms of the moment with the torana-teasing: I expect that, safe in a Refuge, he relaxed a bit and wasn't focused on gleaning information from Frey's vision. When he heard her supposedly opening a torana, he assumed there was an enemy immediately near and either felt he didn't have time to reach through their connection or - amusingly - was too panicked to focus enough to do so. Thus, he asks Frey if there's something there.

This is all just speculative, of course. But it makes sense to me! It offers what I feel is a reasonable explanation for why Cuff seems perfectly able to see at certain times, yet appears totally unaware of his surroundings at others.

It's also just... interesting to me. That this could be yet another way that he's so reliant on Frey. That without her, he's limited in what exactly he can sense and identify and interact with. To his perpetual frustration, I'm sure!

[literalite]

i know youre on hiatus and i hope youre doing well away from tumblr, but, when you come back, let us know your thoughts on genshin’s 3.3 update please! i’m excited to hear what you think about scaramouche’s story ❤️

literally just finished the interlude quest, lets talk about it!! (going to contain spoilers for kazuha's story quest, the inazuma archon quests, the sumeru archon quests, and also the sumeru interlude quest obviously) this is going to be quite long (he is one of my favourite characters and is steadily powercreeping my lore favourite albedo to be no.1) so maybe don't click unless you like absolutely want to fhgjkl

okay to start off with i'm gonna talk about what i expected was going to happen with this interlude slash what is essentially our favourite ex fatui puppet's character quest.

due to the memes and shit about it i initially was kind of wondering if this would be some sort of community service redemption sort of quest for him, something along the veins of him doing things nahida just tells him to or stuff the traveller wants. i figured maybe we'd see a fight scene between traveller and scara, maybe he tries to backstab us or flee or even go see ei. these are all initial fleeting assumptions i developed right after finishing the sumeru archon quests. to be honest kazuha isn't a favourite of mine so the thought of the tatarasuna smithing plot even making it back into the main storyline genuinely didn't cross my mind. like i cared about it because scara was in it but i didn't expect it to be relevant again

after the trailer for the 3.3 update i had a change of opinion again, this time more rooted in worry. genshin has a problem with its antagonists (namely: the raiden shogun/ei) where we get a character presented as directly opposing the traveller, directly causing issues at the cost of characters' lives and freedoms, only to get woobified in service of making them a suitable travelling companion to our main character. i understand they have to try for some semblance of realism as to why our playables are lending aid to us, but i kind of think they lost that a long time ago without even really noticing it. why is the acting grandmaster of the knights of favonius (for example) accompanying us into the desert of sumeru when she ostensibly has a very busy 24/7 job basically running an entire city. how is childe with us when they've sent him from liyue to snezhnaya to inazuma and now to who knows where. they’ve tried very hard to make this “make sense” when it literally never has. and i was extremely wary we’d get a passive puppet mindwiped version of scara. WHICH ALSO MADE NO SENSE, because he very visibly retains at least a good portion of the personality we know and love/hate. look at this fucking face

this is not the face of someone who has a redemption arc. my worry was that somehow they’d get him to apologise for his actions, and have the traveller forgive him wholeheartedly. i was worried they'd wipe his mind, somehow retain his personality, and just hand him over like here you go here's playable scaramouche. he's still a massive bitch but he's #good now. i HATE that. i’ve never wanted him redeemed. i want the weight of his sins and his guilt and his abandonment and his rage and ugliness because to me it makes him one of the most realistic characters genshin's ever managed to write. i don't really know or care how many people share this view, but i would've been happy if they handed him to us straight from laughing in our faces about teppei's death. his scheming killed signora. i wanted that straight from the tap.

so, the quest itself. it got me good i'll admit. when he basically had a crack at erasing himself from existence my jaw genuinely dropped because for me that was... both exactly what i would've done in his position with his power and also a place i'd never expected genshin to actually go. we talk about someone killing themselves in cyno's story quest (murtada radkani and then his father, taj radkani) but he actually tried it- i feel like someone might try to debate me on this but that's the only way i can see it interpreted. we know he's tried and hoped to end himself before but it was kind of??? gratifyingly shocking to see him do it again. and in service of the humans he's continually spoken about with loathing before. it just made him very... real i guess. there's no endless well of hope he just pulls from out of nowhere, it's in service to people he loved and lost centuries ago. he does it without a shred of concern as to what it would cause in the modern day to the real life descendants of the people he'd both loved and killed. IT WAS SO IN CHARACTER. i wasn't celebrating it but from a narrative perspective that was literally perfect. he's gone and im so happy gi has made a good story choice im like sick about it

then the "erased" scaramouche reappears and i let out a sigh of relief that i wasn't even aware i was holding. like i knew he wasn't DEAD because, well, i'm running around sumeru city with him literally equipped in my party and also he hasn't gotten his vision yet so he can't just die. tbh i totally forgot about the "you can't fully erase yourself from existence" thing from rukkhadevata until the traveller brought it up. immediately following my joy that my boy is not Dead dead i go.. oh shit. is this the erasure part??? is his terrible awful beautiful personality just gone and we're left with this fruit picking stall boy? was genuinely concerned about it but i reserved judgement until we entered the dream

guys....... i was so happy. we finally fleshed out lore that i'd been picking at in my brain and it was so fucking good. the pacing was good the dialogue made for a good translation we even got a return to the place where he nearly killed us. he got a fresh start but he didn't. he remembers we remember he's not trying to destroy everything around him but he's not like loving and happy and perfect. essence retained!! i don't really enjoy seeing nahida just. in general she kind of gives me the ick what with her design and all so im glad she stayed as a Voice for most of the quest. i could concentrate on what mattered. i'm nothing if not biased so while this is not my favourite story/archon/interlude quest (that title belongs to xiao's chasm interlude quest) this might be in the top five. top three mayyybe

i do have my gripes with the quest. i really wanted to see him have a genuine modern day confrontation with ei, but now with the erasure/history retcon she doesn't even remember creating him (her and yae's voicelines about him are removed, as are childe's), which is a massive shame yet also strangely fitting. like not to unpack this but sometimes the best thing you can get from a mother who thinks she's done nothing wrong is a clean break. still, i would've loved a confrontation of some sort, and i'm hoping for either that or a fight with dottore as his actual story quest. i also wish we got a unique model for the "puppet" scara that katsuragi found in the shakkei pavilion but we already have two different models for him so i think i'm just nitpicking there.

as for what i ended up (re)naming him, i chose itsuki, specifically 五希. this specific variation of the name means (five) (hope) and is mostly used as a last name, which might make me change it if i find something suitable (i was doing this pretty fast so i had to hurry up with the name, didn't get a ton of time to think it through). i named him this because i won him 50/50, on pity 50, and also this would be his fifth "official" name (the first four being kabukimono, kunikuzushi, scaramouche and then shouki no kami). five is also a pretty important number in asian culture, with it being associated with both good and bad luck (fitting for a character made in such shades of gray as scaramouche), and if i'm getting the information correctly, five is also representative of the ideal of freedom, a pretty solid match for someone newly bestowed an anemo vision. the raiden gokaden were five houses of smithing, of which scaramouche destroyed all but two. additionally, itsuki as a first name is often translated to "tree", and as someone who was "reborn" from irminsul it felt suuuper appropriate. i'm gonna touch base with my little sister (she's half japanese and super fluent) to make sure i'm not just shooting into the dark though, so i'll update if i end up changing it again

EDIT: touched base with her she said and i quote “it’s a bit weird and unique but it’s fine” so im keeping it. happy nameday my beautiful boy itsuki

tldr, i'm pretty happy with the quest, im glad my boy kept his bitch personality, and i renamed him itsuki (name change pending maybe)

[blizzardmagic]

🎨 wip ask game!

Ok. I will do this. I will. As soon as I can

6 days later:

IM HERE! I SHOULD BE DOING OTHER THINGS BUT IM HERE. Oh yeah and if you are likely to play D&D with me in real life please do not read. PLEASE.

🌍- Setting… hmmm… well we’re gonna talk about hollow tree because I need to regain motivation to work on it. The village they emerge in is very isolated. There used to be other places nearby, but they are completely abandoned. When the tree became active, most people fled the area and found another way of living, but the braver and more adventurous were, in many cases, forced to stay behind. Many generations have passed since then, so the people only know that there were inhabitants of those towns at some point in the past, and that they left because of the tree.

👑 - Rulers. When everyone left, the adventurer’s guild sort of.. took over in many ways. People turned to them for guidance, and the leaders of the guild now control most affairs of the town. This does mean that some abilities of trained rulers, such as monitoring production and keeping crime rates down were half-lost in the transition, and at this point, the leaders in the essential crafts are included in the ruling class, and the adventurer’s guild has lost some of its initial influence.

🏆- So, the end goal. This is kind of muddled because this is brainstorming for a D&D campaign but. The village is afraid of this tree because it leaks raw chaos magic (leaks may have been the wrong word but I’m keeping it now!). If the tree is left alone for too long, with no one traveling into it, monsters will emerge from the tree to attack the town, and occassionally, someone in the town will disappear into the tree during these attacks. Theoretically, the goal of the adventurers (in this case, Grian, Scar, and Gem) would be to stop these invasions and stop the seeping of chaos magic into the world by killing or destroying the source. This gets… a tad complicated.

⌛️- I’m honestly not quite sure what time period this takes place in. I think the realm in the tree is somewhat outside of time, and the village is advanced enough to have writing and whatnot. It’s probably sort of like medieval times, but… this isn’t Earth and everything developed differently

⛪️ - There are a couple of religions within the village. Although, it might be more accurate to call the majority of them cults. There is a dominant religion which I don’t think I’m going to go into too much, but it’s polytheistic and the clash of chaos and order is important. When the tree appeared, the group split, with most people believing that the attacks came as some sort of punishment from a god of death or something, but some people believing that the tree was a manifestation of some unknown and very powerful deity. The latter group devoted themselves to the tree and sought ways to appease it, rules shifting and changing when members were taken. The other group regarded the tree with fear, and most accepted its judgement as random, some seeking to pretend the tree was not there in the hopes that it would ignore them. Oddly enough, this didn’t not work.

Oh yeah and there’s also an underground cult for shits and giggles that worships the lane-oiling machine at a bowling alley. Idk if I will include this in the fic but it will be discoverable in the campaign.

💥- The conflict is definitely between the town/adventurers and the tree and it’s inhabitants. I don’t know what else to say about this. Words.

💣- The climax is triggered by two characters you haven’t met yet, who will be played by Etho and Joel. When they determine that Grian, Scar, and Gem have the abilities, they will lead the group deeper into the forest to find the creature who is causing all of this.

🤫- Big spoiler out of context? It’s just, like, some random old person. And they’ve been asleep the whole time.

🦋- This is hard. Because it’s a D&D campaign, the main characters can’t really have a lot of transformation- that’s determined by the players. The one NPC who I can say has a great deal of character development is Joel and Etho’s son. I can’t decide whether this is gonna be X, Mumbo, or Bdubs. We’ll see. He gets a little more fun at the end though. The other character who would have good development isn’t in the fic, soooo

🤒 - Is there a whump in the wip? See, this is even more difficult because I do plan on almost playing the campaign myself as I go through it. So yeah, someone might almost die or something. There will be stress. NPC friends might die depending on if we make friends with them. We’ll see!

🎧- Oddly enough, I do not have a playlist for this yet. So hold on while I think. It’ll be fast for you but not for me. This is taking a long time but I have one: Afraid of Quiet by Lydia the Bard and Ben Tomalin applies to the creature causing the chaos. Won’t Give Into Darkness by CK9C, but more Won’t Give Into Chaos technically. What words there are fit pretty well. OH! The Milk Carton by Madilyn Mei FITS SO WELL. That’s three. It took me like an hour 😅

🐱- The animals. So on the same side, the animals are fairly normal. They are far more susceptible to the chaos than fully conscious people, so they aren’t often kept as pets and animal farming and hunting is impacted significantly by the fact that animals occassionally go crazy and start attacking everything. On the chaos side, animals generally look rough, and the fauna consists mostly of monsters and of animals who went crazy or were taken during attacks.

🤝- Clearly the adventurers met when they entered the tree to play the newest Decked Out, and they meet shopkeepers as they explore the village. They meet Etho, Joel, and [undetermined]’s characters soon after entering back into the tree the first time. Most of the initial paths lead to their cottage. Perhaps I will write this bit sooner rather than later. I need to stop limiting myself to writing chronologically. As to how they meet the “antagonist” [undetermined] leads them to see it. I really don’t know whether they’re going to speak to each other or not.

🥀- Yea, I think I mentioned this earlier. Characters will die. No characters played by HC members will die, but likeable full-NPC characters will die. I’m not giving you any more specifics yet..

👀- piece of lore I really want to share? Etho and Joel play old gay grandfathers and Joel’s character has a violently blue fashion sense.

🕳️ - Plot holes. Uhhh… I’ll bet there are some but I am not far enough into the writing to have found any I don’t know how to patch up. 🌑 - Symbolism! I’d love to say I’d thought about that! There will be a creaky bridge! Simple things like darkness = danger, light generally being safe, but neon colors, which will often glow, are contradictory, also representing danger. I might try to use which plants are in an area to represent things. We’ll see.

🔮 - Magic system? Erm.. it’s D&D. So uh. Yes? Scar is going to be a wizard. I feel like I’ve already explains anything that might deviate from that base.

🎨 - OOOOHHH DARK GOOPY PURPLE AND VIBRANT GREEN. Also wood texture.

💡- Inspiration! So, the whole thing was actually inspired by a dream I had, which, oddly, I can still remember as vividly as it originally was months and months ago. Then I went, “Oh! D&D!” And then “Book for brainstorming!” And then “ooo what if fanfic?!” And that’s how this happened.

AND IM FINALLY DONE! Thanks for the ask Varteeny! Link to og post: https://www.tumblr.com/the-finch-address/688729684165459968/get-to-know-the-wip-ask-game?source=share

[coraniaid]

Director's commentary for Coexist. How much of the story did you have in mind when you started? Did you make any big changes to your original plans?

Hmm.

In theory I had everything planned out when I started writing, but in practice I’d left a lot of details vaguer than I realized.  I also found myself increasingly rethinking my early plans, especially towards the final third of the story.  Partly this was because I refined my idea of what sort of story I was trying to tell, partly because things I’d written no longer felt credible for these versions of the characters.

(Spoilers for all of Coexist below the cut.)

I think I’ve alluded to a few changes before.  

Chapter 3 – where Buffy and Faith fight Kakistos – had an early draft which I gave up and rewrote from scratch, though the basic beats ended up being the same.  And the Xander/Cordelia break-up was originally supposed to happen several chapters earlier, as was the Xander POV chapter (which was going to happen after Chapter 12, in line with The Zeppo in canon).  In particular there are a couple of lines in Chapter 12 that were meant to imply that the break-up has already happened by this point.  This was something that Buffy was only going to find out about in Chapter 15.

Speaking of Chapter 15, the aftermath of Allan Finch’s death originally played out quite differently too. The basic idea was that Fatih would ‘confess’ to killing Finch, inverting what happens in canon, and that everyone would believe her (which would have played into her general feeling of inferiority compared to Buffy).

But probably the chapter that changed the most between my initial draft and the final version is Chapter 18.

In theory this is the Doppelgangland chapter, in the same way that the previous chapter is The Zeppo (pushed back from its originally planned position) and the next chapter is Earshot.  And there’s definitely still a common thematic thread, I think – it’s not a coincidence that all the people Faith dreams about are to some extent doppelgangers of Buffy, up to and including her final fight against her own reflection –  but I think the direct plot parallels between the chapter and the episode itself are pretty slim.

The original plan was for something much much closer to canon: Anya would try to get Amy to recover her amulet, and in the process they’d accidentally bring vamp!Buffy (from Chapter 9) back into ‘our’ reality.  This Buffy would then capture Faith from the hospital, and Faith would wake up and assume at first that this was the ‘real’ Buffy, having been turned while Faith was unconscious.

I dropped this for a couple of reasons pretty early on: it was hard to work out how to write it from Faith’s POV (without a lot of exposition after the fact) and I didn’t want to stop Anya and Faith being friends (which I think would have had to happen if Anya clearly was still trying to get her powers back).  And I also didn't really feel I had anything else left to do or say about vamp!Buffy, so the end of the chapter felt a little bit too much like a retread of her first appearance.

Having dropped this idea, it took me a while to realize what I wanted to happen instead.  There was one version I started planning where Drusilla showed up in town looking for Spike (which is part of the reason Drusilla appears in Faith’s extended dream sequence in the final chapter).  There was one version where the Watcher’s Council tried to abduct Faith from the hospital and the Mayor intervened to stop it.  (In general I couldn't really work out how to get the Mayor and Faith to interact in this AU, which is why they ... basically don't.)

It was only quite late that I finally worked out what I wanted to happen instead, with the various nested dream sequences. Essentially, the final chapter owes more to Restless than it does to Doppleglandland.  But I’m really pleased with the result: it’s definitely one of my favorite chapters.

Weirdly enough though, despite all these changes, the very last few chapters of the story – from Buffy getting her Class Protector award at the Prom from Debbie and Jonathan together onwards –  were some of the closest to what I originally had sketched out plans for two years earlier.  (You might have assumed this would make them easier to write, but unfortunately...)

[ax3022-ancutadantepelgrom]

Testing Materials Week 2-3

This is a compilation of tests I did on the multiplane.

At first I started with charcoal, then some string animation, and clay and oil. As well as a pyrography test on a slab of wood. I am writing to describe my thoughts and processes of each and to hopefully decide on one medium.

I first started with the pyrography tool which essentially was a soldering rod. It was great fun, very hot, and Smokey so I will definitely include a mask and a heatproof glove if I choose this going forward. Its burn effect is exactly what I'm looking for, so I am eager to make this work for me. I will however need to source my own wood potentially going out and finding it rather than ordering this. I did a quick test of drawing charcoal next to the pyro test to see how they look next to each other. I feel as though I could combine them together, possibly closer to the design stage/production.

On the multiplane I did three different charcoal tests, on different coloured paper. I had quickly drawn a rough plan for the first sapling animation. Since it was at the beginning of using the multiplane we had the lighting set up however the bulb went off one which is why it wasn't set so well. And wasn't until later this was replaced. I wasn't to worried about this since its only to see if I like the materials and If it's doable. We used dragon frame software to capture this, and made sure with a focus check it was picking up the details with the camera. Once this was sorted we added the keys for either two or single frame buttons. I was told that the lens would also have to be changed for the multiplane to a 50mm however I was just glad to even start. Once all setup and wires were in order My next issue was that I would have to animate upside down. I did this for the first two. As you can see they are off centre although I did try to mark out the corners this was still hard for me. Versus the last version which you can see I flipped this after in after effects. Certainly drawing the face is clearer, but it is to high up and not centred. I have to also be sure not to leave things on frame, I momentarily left a rubber on the first one within a shoot. Luckily I have managed to edit this out. I am really drawn to the express nature of charcoals in general and would hope to find a way I can Incorporate this.

When it comes to clay I did not have a lot to use. So I had to try to make the slab tile I rolled out thick enough for when I drew into this as you can see it wasn't to visible versus when I applied clay above. If I had ore clay I might have been able to do a larger slab and more able to do bigger, artwork for it's animations. At this time we managed to get a second light working so I had to rework the exposure and camera settings again. I think if I had spent a little more time working with this I might have got a better looking result. However, I personally got the feeling I would not be using clay since it did not give the same expressive freedom I had in charcoal. It was still a worthy try as I personally do love working in clay. It would just not meant to be.

When It comes to the oil which I barely touched and was only 0.5 of a second, it was an instant no. And I could not think of a way to get it to animate clearly. So what I did to save clean up was tape this clear film above the class. Now reflecting, since I used two planes instead of one the lower one was the back ground anyway. Instead of Making the top layer with too much white, I should have only done the black branch. My thinking was I need the white to add and take away. Upon this reflection I am learning from my mistakes and taking the time to reflect has certainly helped in this case.

Last but not least I just did some quick string-over-fabric animation. Initially, I was going to embryoid this. However, I could not see a way to do this unless I had something to stretch the fabric like a hoop or a frame I could secure and staple fabric to this. Unfortunately, I thought of this a little late as I do not have the funds for this. So instead I played with the string. and tried to see how much control I would have over this and how could I make it look like something. Well, I tried at first to see how tight I could hold the shape. Unfortunately, It could not do this very well. It could, however, look and move very fluidly like so the first one is meant to resemble water a bit, whereas the second one is meant to resemble a fish whose tail is reacting to the forces around this. Overall this is not bad and I may come back with a hoop or something to update and add later as a side project if I have time before Thursday so I can really get a feel.

[littleeyesofpallas]

I haven't made a stupid bigbrain weeb post about Bleach in a while. I know I've mentioned Kaien what has probably been more times than was really needed to get across all the information on a character who really doesn't appear much... but I've missed a few things, namely his zanpakutou, which I had initially skipped because

i wasn't doing sword names at the time,

it didn't really seem like it contributed to the themes or continuity of what I was exploring with him and

I had sort of assumed his sword's name was straight forward enough that there wasn't anything to say about it.

But I'd forgotten about his release call. So big shout out to @troius for bringing to my attention that Viz had a slightly wonky translation.

But before we keep going, a quick recap on other Kaien factoids:

Shiba[志波]:"Will/Aspiration/Ambition"+"Wave/Ripple"

Kaien[海燕]:"Petrel" but lit."Sea"+"Swallow(the bird)" following the naming pattern present in his siblings'.

The Shiba family crest is a spiral pattern called tsuiten-no-kuzure-uzushio[墜天の崩れ渦潮]: “Crashing/Falling Heaven’s Downfall/Ruination Whirlpool" and it ties into other details of a seemingly implied but dropped plot point in which the Shiba clan had been involved in some kind of effort to overturn the rule of the King of Soul Society.

This same spiral pattern may have been pulled from non-Japanese Buddhist art, and could be read as indicative of a legacy predating Soul Society's Japanese Buddhist influenced setting.

This spiral pattern influences a lot of circular and spiraling motifs in art surrounding the Shiba, like their unique kidou and of course...

Kaien's shikai, Nejibana[捩花]: "Chinese spiranthis/Ladys tresses" written literally as "screw/twisted/distorted"+"flower." They are of course referring to a flower with a screw-like shape

And its release call is suiten sakamake[水天逆巻け] which Viz translated as "Rage Through the Seas and Heavens" and has otherwise been translated into English as "Surge, Water and Heaven." But the component words here are Suiten[水天] which is of course literally "Water"+"Heaven" but is both the name of the Shinto god of water, as well as the Japanese name for the Hindu God Varuna[वरुण], a god of the sea and sky. (it is also a title sometimes attributed to the deity otherwise known as Fuudo myouou[不動明王] adapted from the Indian deity Acala[अचल])

While it's not as overt as other shikai and bankai that take their names directly from mythological figures, I don't put it past Kubo to have intended the association to include at least one of the above mentioned deities, although it's a little hard to tell which...

The verb here however is sakamake[逆巻け]: "Surge" and in the specific construction [逆巻く怒濤]: "an angry sea/raging billows." But broken down, the literal kanji mean [逆]:"reverse/inverse/wicked" and [巻]: "turn/roll/wind" and other similar motions like "turning in reverse" or "winding back." (both of which, at least to me, bring to mind operating an analog clock)

So in the most literal sense we get something like

"Water(&)Heaven Surge, Twisted Flower!"

But with some small liberties it could also read more akin to,

"Varuna, Turn Wicked(ly), Twisted Flower!"

And it also could evoke imagery of the Horizon, where water meets Heavens, and by "reverse rolling" those essentially refer to switching Sky with Water, turning the world upside down. It evokes a scene not unlike Ichigo's inner world --something that has also been kind of obtusely referenced with the idea of "reverse turning" with Shinji's added zanpakutou forms outside of strict canon. Or even the uncommon but very real cloud formation, asperitas, which makes the sky look like a roiling ocean.

and what I think I draw more emphasis from is that a screw-shaped flower has little relationship to themes of water and heaven. But to "twist" is synonymous with "distort" and "distort" ties into the "wicked" reading of "inverse" as in to be of inverted or opposite morals or quality in the abstract sense, rather than the more literal reversal of a simple physical motion. So, the imagery it leaves is of a twisted flower which distorts, wickedly, water and heaven, implicitly by physically turning/reversing them.

Again, it brings to mind the world being turned upside down, the heavens being pulled down and replaced with the sea... which goes all the way back to the Shiba family crest being a whirlpool which can crash the heavens; a symbol seemingly borrowed from Indian buddhism, the same Indian buddhism Varuna would link back to, both predating the Japanese buddhism underpinning the rest of soul society's themes.

...Going back to my headcanony theory that the reason for the Shiba's exile and the unresolved subject of Kaien's notorious railing against the rules of Soul Society, the ones Ichigo's defiance of Rukia's execution stirred memories of in Byakuya and Ukitake... is that they tried to return Soul Society to a state of spiritual balance and egalitarianism that the Japanese samurai themed classist structure had disrupted. i.e. They tried to dethrone the Soul King first, long before Aizen or Yhwach.

[masterjedilenawrites]

I’m not good at making requests, so forgive me if anything come out wrong.

But, could you do something were reader and Tech are fixing some eletronics and listening to cientific things, and start talking about a wrong thing people said there, so they get distracted and when realize, they’re in to a awkward position (like him btween her legs or sth like that)

I love your writing and thanks (: <3

Omg I've been so soft for Tech lately and this prompt is perfect 💚 I hope this is what you were looking for, I really enjoyed writing it!

Tech x reader | 2k words

...making bacta the most important scientific achievement in history...

"Dank farrik," Tech huffed beside you.

You came out of your daze at the sudden exclamation and looked at your friend with concern, trying to quickly figure out what had gone wrong. You were helping him with a project, though what it was exactly you weren't completely certain of. All you knew was it involved digging into the walls of the ship and untangling a lot of wires. You'd been instructed to hold onto several of them, keeping them pulled taught out of the wall so Tech could fiddle with the other ends, and the dullness of the task had caused your mind to wander.

"What's wrong?" you asked, doubtful you'd understand any explanation, but wanting to be sure you hadn't done anything to mess up his progress.

He waved a hand at you dismissively, not pulling his attention away from the work in front of him. "Just the radio," he mumbled.

You hadn't been paying attention; it had only been turned on as background noise to keep you from going insane with boredom. And since it was tuned into some kind of scientific news frequency, you didn't really understand much of what was being said anyway.

...with the most influential application simply being in the field of medicine, providing us higher life forms with a versatile tool in maintaining our quality of life, and potentially even prolonging it...

Tech huffed again. Scoffed. Your mouth quirked at how upset he was getting. It was kind of cute.

But, you had to debate whether engaging with his frustration would be worth it. He had only recently calmed down from his outburst earlier that day, the only time you had ever seen him genuinely upset. Wrecker had accidentally knocked over a piece of machinery that was... well, something very important, apparently. No one was too sure. But Tech had spent most of the week carefully arranging its parts just-so, so that when all his hard work went crashing onto the floor, his breathing had suddenly resembled that of a charging Nexu. He'd drawn himself up, trying to match his brother's height, and ordered the poor guy to never step foot in this part of the ship again. The other Batchers had tried to defend him and were subsequently banned as well.

That left you as the only option for help.

Maybe that meant he wouldn't kick you out for debating him....

"Sounds like they're saying some pretty reasonable things. Am I missing something?"

Tech's fingers, which had been deftly working through the wires before him, clipping some and splicing others, finally froze. The clone's face tilted over to you, his eyes looking a little too judgmental through those glasses for your liking.

"You think bacta is the most important scientific achievement?" he asked. You didn't like his tone, either.

You scrunched your mouth in thought, actually giving the question serious consideration. While you mulled it over, Tech stood up from his hunched position in the wall and started pulling on some of the wires, unraveling them from their tangled mess.

"Yeah," you finally decided. "I think medicine in general is pretty important. And bacta specifically is the strongest known substance to deliver fast and effective healing."

Tech was mostly focused on the wires, but he spared you a glance.

"And treating symptoms is the most important thing for humanity? Here, hold this." He added another wire for you to hold in your hands.

You knew it was a loaded question so you chose to answer it with one of your own. "Well if it's not bacta or medicine, then what would it be?"

"Electricity," he said quickly and assertively, as if it was the most obvious thing in the galaxy. He continued to focus more on his work and you were annoyed he didn't seem to want to offer up an explanation to his opinion, despite having made you give one. He'd finally untangled the wires and was back to leaning into the cavern in the wall and setting them into their proper places.

"Why electricity?" You hated how dumb your question sounded; obviously you understood the concept and understood its importance. You just really wanted to challenge him to give you some explanations.

"For one, most medicines would not be able to be mass-produced were it not for the electrically-run vats in which they are made." He held his hand out behind him and made a grabbing motion. "Blue, please."

You sorted out the blue wire and passed it over.

"For another," he continued, his voice sounding distant as he leaned further away into the wall, "we must ask what constitutes a quote-unquote important achievement. For example, is an achievement worthy of the title simply because it improves our quality of life? Green, please."

You handed over the corresponding wire. "I'd say it's more about preserving life. Even outside of war, there's enough injury and illness that would end life were it not for medicine to heal them."

"Ah, but in that same reasoning, electricity also sustains life. It powers sources of light and warmth, which can also provide a means of boiling water and cooking food. All keys to survival. Yellow, please."

"So does fire," you shot back. "People survived long before electricity, and there's still plenty of civilizations living fine without it."

Tech finally emerged from the wall and took the last few wires from you, the red and black ones. He met your eyes with an earnestness that let you know how much he was enjoying this conversation. "And people have survived without medicine. At least the manufactured forms that you're arguing for, like bacta. Traditional medicine is as sufficient as fire."

Before you could respond, Tech moved to the side, motioning toward the wall with his head and holding up the remaining wires.

"Now, unfortunately these last ones need to be clipped in down below. I'm not able to fit through the lattice of the floor, but someone of your stature easily could."

You stepped forward and peered down. It was a mess of machinery and pipes and beams, but you could clearly see the port where the wires had been yanked out earlier. You knelt down, resting your stomach on the edge of the wall, but paused before bending over.

"If it wasn't for bacta, you wouldn't have been born." You were confident in your comeback and thus didn't linger for his reaction, turning to bend down into the ship with your wires instead.

You were disappointed to hear his soft chuckle from above you.

"And what do you think powers the bacta tanks that hold the clone embryos?"

You were glad he couldn't see the frustrated frown on your face. While you tried to think of a new point in your debate, you snapped the red wire into the proper port. But then you realized you couldn't quite reach the black one, and started carefully shimmying forward, deeper into the wall.

"It seems we have circled back to the initial question," Tech offered in your silence. You felt his hands hold on to your hips, steadying you as your legs lifted from the floor, most of your body now inside the ship. You didn't think anything of it, though, your focus split between your task and his words. "What makes an achievement the most important? Both medicine and electricity are capable of preserving life, but neither are essential to survival. So, what criteria are we left with?"

You were finally within reach of the last port and pushed the wire into it. "Sounds like you already have the right answer, so why don't you stop teasing me and just say it?" you called up to him.

"I...I didn't mean to sound like I was teasing."

You could hear the apology in his voice, how truly caught off guard he was to hear that you had perceived his attempts at a friendly debate, a conversation, as mocking or disrespectful. Your stomach knotted up in guilt, making your journey to wiggle back out of the wall a little more difficult.

"I'm sorry, Tech," you said through a grunt as you tried to push yourself back. "I didn't mean to sound rude. I just don't know the answer."

You felt his arms snake around your middle, pulling you the last of the way out. You came to rest on your knees, breathing heavily at the sudden increase in air supply. Tech was crouched alongside you, his chest against part of your back, his arms still holding you.

"I honestly don't know the answer, either," he blinked down at you, speaking quietly. "I don't know what criteria would constitute the most important scientific achievement. I thought maybe we could figure it out if we kept discussing it."

You craned your neck around to look at him, unconcerned about the discomfort it took to do so. You needed to face him fully. "Or... maybe we don't need to figure it out? I mean, does there need to be one achievement labeled more important than any other? Can they not all be valued equally?"

"I suppose..." he relented. But only a little. "It is a fun thought exercise, though."

You smiled at that, and it made your heart flutter a little to see him return the expression. There were a few seconds between you where you sat pleasantly in each other's arms... before the realization hit that you were in each other's arms.

"Uh," Tech stuttered first. His eyes looked about frantically as if the more he saw of you practically sitting in his lap, the more he would know what to do about it.

Your face was hot and your heart thumped forcefully in your chest. But you weren't panicking. Even though you'd been around the Bad Batch for a while now, this was the first time you'd gotten physically close to any of them, especially this dorky genius, who made you feel just a little better about life than the others did. You hadn't been sure why, not until this moment, your face being mere inches away from his own. Now it clicked.

His arms had removed themselves from your frame and he was starting to crawl backward on the floor. You quickly grasped his shoulder to stop him.

"Tech, wait."

He froze, looking at you with wide, apprehensive eyes. His shoulder was tense so you relaxed your grasp and simply let your hand rest on it gently. You gave him a small smile. Thankfully these little gestures were enough encouragement for him to lean back to you. He still looked at you timidly, but he wasn't pulling away anymore. It seemed like maybe he had been feeling the same things about you.

"Yes?"

He was waiting for you to make the next move.

"So, this project," you stalled, needing just a little more time to work up the courage. "What is it again? Why did I just crawl into the bowels of the ship?"

Your face was creeping closer to his, breath gently fanning across each other, warm but refreshing.

"I... I..." Tech seemed to be short-circuiting. "I was just, uh, re... redecorating."

Your nose had just brushed his when you suddenly frowned and moved back to look at him questioningly. "Redecorating... wires?"

You were very amused at how flustered he seemed to be in this situation. But then the tables turned as Tech rolled with it.

"Yeah, I didn't like the way they looked in there. Wanted to change things up. You know me."

The smile on our face spread as he talked and you couldn't hold back your laughter any longer. You bent forward, resting your forehead in the crook of his neck while your body convulsed with giggles. Tech laughed along, bringing his arms back around you to hold you in place. When you finally looked up at him and the shit-eating grin he had plastered on his face, you knew you'd finally found your courage.

"Oh, Tech..." you chided, pressing your smiling lips against his own.

[tyrantisterror]

The ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D: Entry Roundup

You’ve been patiently waiting for the results of the ATOM Create a Kaiju Contest 3-D, and now... you have to wait a bit longer, but at least you’ve got an entry roundup with lots of sketches and a good bit of feedback for all the entrants!  My goal is to get the finalists illustrated in a week or two, and after that, the grand prize winner will be announced.  But, for now, the official entry roundup!  After the cut:

I should note that while I sketched these in the order they were submitted, my scanner saved the documents with random names, so they’re a bit jumbled.  You know, just in case you’re like me and would get confused noticing that it’s almost in chronological order but with some entries jumbled around.

@bugcthulhu’s Obsideban was designed as a counterpart to Rohobaron - the Black King to Rohobaron’s Red King, if you will.  Or, well, Black Queen in this case, as Obsideban also takes her personality from the “delinquent girl” archetype in Japanese media.  Bug’s designs always ooze personality, and I had a lot of fun translating this big, gnarly retrosaur into my own style.

@toothlessloveshiccup‘s Argonox is the first - but far from the last - monster in this breakdown that brings in a bit of fantasy influence to ATOM’s roster.  A golden-fleeced ram with a vicious streak, this sheep is both treasure and dragon at once.  And while it wasn’t written in the monster’s profile, given the Yamaneon-rich nature of its wool, Argonox might be able to replicate the healing power of the golden fleece too!  A very fun mammalian kaiju and excellent entry.

@highly-radioactive-nerd submitted Gunmetal Jeeves, a robot butler who can gigantomax temporarily create a holographic/hard light version of himself to fight kaiju.  That detail was a late revision added to the entry before the contest’s deadline, made after the creator realized that ATOM allows for some truly ludicrous bullshit, which is something everyone should exploit when making entries for this in my opinion.  Also, this is a robot butler who can size shift.  Revel in its awesome absurdity!

Ultranerd submitted Rajasaurus, a dimetrodon-like synapsid kaiju with electric powers.  His origin specifies that the electric powers are a result of the volatile nature of the Yamaneon deposits he mutated under, which is an interesting idea.  That’s another theme that cropped up a lot in this contest’s entries, actually - people really wanted to play with what Yamaneon can do.

Case in point, @polygonfighter’s Yamaneolith takes the Monolith Monsters homage at the heart of Yamaneon even more apparent.  I like the implication that there is a second mineral-based lifeform at the root of this Yamaneon cluster’s anomalous behavior - a parasite, perhaps?  It brings up some interesting possibilities.

@ariccio50 submitted Kukulkuzana, and damn is this a cool spin on the body plan of my martians.  I made a few changes here and there (splitting its tail into two is probably the biggest one), but tried to keep true to the original design, because holy hell is it gorgeous.  The idea that this is a mountain-dwelling creature is really intriguing to me, as it looks like a sea creature, but at the same time, that flexible and low-slung build WOULD work pretty well in mountains, and it’s just the right mix of plausible weirdness that makes for a fun alien design.

@akitymh submitted Aramzados, a Venusian monster that’s basically an organic hot rod car.  I like the idea of organic machinery being the gimmick for Venusian kaiju, and Aramzado’s does it subtly enough to not feel like that gimmick is the sole thing going for it.  I especially love this monster’s stange, apparently mouth-less blade-beaked face.

@virovac submitted Rurzar and Zar Rider, a Beyonder kaiju and mecha (respecitvely) that were both modified and repurposed by humans reverse engineering Beyonder technology to make, like, a motorcycle-saurus essentially.  It is a delightfully absurd concept, and a very, very detailed one (13 pages of description).  There’s a dark undercurrent beneath the sillyness, though, as this pair show that humanity might still be following the same path as the Beyonders before them.

@dinosaurana brings us Krangor, a humanoid monstrosity of living kelp!  The goal here was to create a Jack Kirby-esque monster dude, complete with the gibberish name and all.  He’s also made out of kelp, which feels very classic 1950′s monster-y despite me not being able to think of any monsters that were explicitly made of kelp.  I love him.

@kiryuthechimera submitted Genkakurah, a psychic retrosaur with some draconic features.  Though his substantial powerset is probably the biggest distinguishing feature of this kaiju (given that most ATOM kaiju pretty much have the same standard powers), what really draws me to him is that reptilian pseudo-beard.  It’s just a fun detail!

@glarnboudin submits Tiratola, and see, there’s that fantasy influence again!  Even more explicitly dragon-y than Kraydi, Tiratola still manages to toe the line between sci-fi and fantasy enough to fit ATOM as is while still cementing its ties to my own slice of fantasy fiction.  Man it’s good I’m doing a Midgaheim book next, huh?

@dragonzzilla submitted Scuttlebutt/Argonautilus, a hermit crab kaiju who lives in/with a hollowed out mecha.  That’s a twist I can’t recall ever hearing before, and the idea of a kaiju and a mecha having an equal partnership that doesn’t involve one being grafted to the other is really intriguing to me.  A very unique concept!

@evolutionsvoid submitted Fleagor, an enormous flea who has no idea what to do with itself now that there’s no creature large enough for it to parasitize.  I love that concept - it takes the core idea of the giant bug kaiju archetype (i.e. unsettling the audience by showing how terrifying small, “insignificant” creatures would be if our sizes were reversed) and really turns it on its head.  The name also plays on the Universal Monsters, who were a huge part of 1950′s pop culture thanks to their movies being re-released in that era, so all and all this one is very on brand for ATOM!

@skarmorysilver submitted Lilacorn, another entry that plays up that Midgaheim/ATOM connection.  Reinterpreting the mythological unicorn as an Cenozoic wooly rhinoceros-inspired monster gives it a very unique look, both in ATOM and in the general world of unicorns, and she has a bad-girl with a heart of gold personality to boot!

dracosaurus-rex submitted Florasaura, a two-headed plant/retrosaur hybrid monster.  I love me some plant monsters, I love me some retrosaurs, and I love me some rhyming the word “flora” with other words that contain similar vowell sounds, so this one has me written all over it!

@downtofragglerock submitted Sauroguana, a delightfully odd flying retrosaur.  There’s a great deal of charm to the original illustration that this sketch doesn’t quite capture - it’s a deceptively simple design with a lot of personality in it, and with those unique leg-wings it really doesn’t need a whole lot of frills to stand out.

Draxi submitted Brakan, an unimpressive burrowing retrosaur kaiju whose mastery of illusions allows it to convince other kaiju it’s actually a big, super-powerful badass that’s the ultimate fighter in the universe.  It’s a delightful parody of the concept of a fan self-insert god-mode character, with a really fun story built into it to boot!

@quinnred submitted O.N.I.A.C., a mysterious cocooned kaiju whose chrysalis has been turned into an organic computer of sorts by the people studying it, and seems to possess a fairly advanced intelligence for a kaiju.  It’s a really bizarre and ominous idea, with built in intrigue given how vague its nature is.  Is it just a kaijufied butterfly/moth who got stuck mid transformation?  A relative of the Mothmanuds?  Something else, perhaps equally alien?  Good story potential here.

shadyserpent submitted Vespilitor, a bat/retrosaur hybrid made by the nefarious Spooks Organization.  A mercurial prankster whose tendency to stir up trouble never crosses the line into maliciousness, he’s the kind of monster who would make a great foil to a lot of ATOM’s cast.  I’d especially like to see him in a prank off with Ahuul - it’d be like Bugs Bunny fighting Daffy Duck, but on a kaiju scale.

@multiversefan submitted the Yamaneon King, a nomadic kaiju whose refusal to settle down causes problems as he stirs up trouble at kaiju sanctuaries all over the globe by showing up unannounced and stirring up the locals.  He was basically designed to be a monster that the kaiju sanctuary initiative would struggle to deal with, which is a good idea for a post-ATOM Volume 2 story conflict.

Sir K submitted Jadeera, a kirin kaiju that can actually forcibly convert most of its body to Yamaneon to enter a dormant, statue-like state in a loose homage to King Shisa.  Though the fantasy elements are far more present than I usually prefer for ATOM kaiju, I think it should be noted they’re pushed that far for a purpose - a theme in Jadeera’s entry, which continues where its creator left off with their submission to the previous ATOM create a kaiju contest (Yokaigon), is that the world of kaiju is more complicated and challenging than many are willing to accept, which is a theme in ATOM itself.  Yokaigon’s more supernatural/occult powers are based on the ghost parascience of my setting, which ATOM has delved into a bit (Pathogen being the big example), so it’s not as out of left field as some might think.

@cerothenull​ brings us our final entry (unless some got lost thanks to tumblr’s shitty tagging system), the flying spider Naeranti.  She’s a kaiju spider who uses silk to make complicate hot-air balloons, more or less, and that’s just delightful.  ATOM could always use more spider-monsters, and with a really unique gimmick backing up a wonderfully distinct look, Naeranti is sure to stand out among her fellow giant arachnids.

Well, that’s the roundup!  In a week (or two, depending on how much my hand cramps) we’ll have the five finalists, and sometime after that, the grand prize winner!

[honey-hippie-harper]

In-Laws Being In-Laws (Re-upload)

 Hiii!

So, this is basically an old fic, which I deleted from my other account ( @dawniebb ) and was requested to be uploaded again.

This feels like a lifetime ago afgshjka, but I remember it was written for a Renegades content swap event, and it was for @healing-winston-pratt (hello, wifey!). The prompt was, basically, Nova and one of the Renegays being in-laws, and it was super fun to write! <3

If anyone’s reading this: Hi, you’re a beautiful human being, and I love you <3

In-Laws Being In-Laws

Dear Dread Warden,

I am not quite sure you will get this message because it is been a while since I last used my communicator but, in case you do: I  hope you are having a nice morning. 

The reason I am writing you this is that, as you must already be aware, right now Sketch and his teammates are taking part in the Annual Renegade Convention as special guests to be awarded for their heroic participation in the Second Battle for Gatlon. Hence, they are out of town. Due to my temporary resignation from the team, I declined the offer to attend the event and, for instance, to receive an award. This means that, unlike theirs, my routine remains the same as usual.

Unfortunately, I must see my therapist for my weekly appointment in two hours, and after that I will have to go to the supermarket to pick up some groceries and essential items. Under normal circumstances, given the nature of my relationship with Sketch, he would have driven me to the supermarket and then back to my apartment, as it happens to be located sort of far from the store and it could be pretty difficult for me to walk while carrying all those bags. However, as mentioned before, these are not normal circumstances and Sketch is not currently available.

I reach out to you with no intention to cause trouble; for instance, if I happen to be asking too much or disrupting your schedule (As I am conscious you are a busy person) and you consider you will not be able to help me, I assure you I completely understand. But: Could you pick me up from my therapist's office and take me to the supermarket afterwards?

I apologize for the inconvenience and I promise I will make sure this does not happen again. In addition, I also apologize for the alliteration in the greeting at the beginning of this message. I did not know whether you wanted to be acknowledged by your real name or your alias.

Sincerely,

Insomnia.

-.-

Hi, Insomnia!!!

So nice to see you!... Or should I say read you! Ha! It's been so long, it almost feels like an eternity! I hope therapy is going great! (We're all really proud of you!)

It doesn't bother me at all, sweetheart; of course I'll help you with that. Could you share the location of your therapist's office, please?

Oh, and also: What time do you want me to be there? (Not that I have anything to do today, I just want to be on time).  

I'm excited to see you! Can I take you to eat something afterwards? How does that sound?

Take care!

(Agh. I forgot these things don't actually allow you to write your real  name).

-S i m o n.

(Better).

-.-

He spotted Nova way before parking. She was sitting on a bench outside the building, staring anxiously at her phone. The body language of a nervous person.

Simon stopped the car right in front of where she was, and when she realized he was already here, Nova jumped out of her seat as if it had burned her skin, before jogging in an awkward manner towards the car.

Once she was inside, Simon couldn't help but feel a twinge in his stomach. He wasn't lying when he told her he was excited to see her. In fact, he was more than excited, and he had to hold himself back pretty hard to avoid hugging her, because it was evident she didn't want to be hugged right now, for she just directed a tiny smile at him and said:

"Hi."

She was the same Nova he had met some time ago, but at the same time she was different; she was wearing sneakers, skinny jeans and a basic white v-neck shirt; her hair was a little longer, too, to the point she could tie it in a cute little ponytail; Simon could tell she wasn’t wearing any makeup, but still her face looked healthier than before; less tired, with smaller under-eye dark circles and lips covered in chapstick. Finally.

She looked alive. More than before.

“Hi.” He finally responded.

Watching people get better was always satisfactory, but watching Nova get better was different. He had grown to appreciate her, since the very first moment he saw her with Adrian; since the very first moment he spoke to her and saw nothing but utter heartbreak in her eyes. Nova was hurting, and any sensitive person would’ve noticed that. So, watching her get better was a touching experience for him.

“You look so…”

Nova interrupted him almost immediately.

“I know. I...I barely had time to fix my hair. Gosh. It’s so uncomfortable and I want to cut it but I haven’t had time. I…”

“Oh, no, no, no! Your hair looks gorgeous! “ He chuckled, although he was confused by her reaction. “I was gonna say you look really good. Really, really good. The ponytail looks great on you.”

Nova gulped as she adjusted said ponytail.

“Oh.” She muttered in a hoarse voice. “...Well...Thank you. I thought…”

“No, no.” Simon waved his hand. “You look great. How.... how are you?”

She seemed to be processing the question, even though it was not that difficult.

“I’m…” Nova cleared her throat. “I’m doing great. How are you? How’s ...life going?”

“Absolutely great!” Simon smiled, clapping his hands together. “Things at home are great. You know, Hugh’s not currently here due to the Annual Renegade Convention. Adrian’s not here either (for sure, you already know about that) and Max…”

“Max went too, yeah.” Nova smiled. Her eyes seemed to brighten to the mention of Max’s name. Adrian had mentioned this fact about her a couple of times: Nova was fond of children. And even if she wasn’t, she had a tendency to protect and care about them. Since she had this type of strong personality, Hugh refused to recognize that as a truth, but Simon had no trouble believing it.

It was adorable.

“He called me when he got the invitation. He was eager to go.” She continued. “Which doesn’t surprise me. I...It’s his first time travelling, right?”

“Oh, yeah.” Responded Simon. “We’re planning to go on vacation this year. Because, you know, the convention’s being held not too far away from Gatlon and sadly he’s probably gonna get bored.”

“Bored?” Nova shifted herself in the seat, awkwardly. “Why?”

“Well...those conventions are...well, conventions.” Simon shrugged, smiling at her. “There are a lot of speeches, one after the other and, sure, the guests that represent Gatlon can skip some of them, but others are mandatory and they’re like 2 hours long and it’s so boring and…”

Nova hissed, grimacing, to which Simon nodded in agreement.

“I’m glad I didn’t have to go.” He admitted. “Though I do wanted to be there when Adrian and Max received their award. Too sad.”

Nova tried to speak a couple of times, until she finally had found the correct words to said her thoughts out loud.

“Why...why didn’t you go, then?”

“About that.” Simon chuckled. “Tamaya is going to be there too, as a speaker. And she’s also receiving an award. So...somebody had to take care of the Headquarters and Kasumi and I were left with that responsibility. However, it’s been pretty peaceful, as you may have noticed.”

“I have.” Nova nodded. “Not that I...go out very much, but yeah. Things have been calm.”

“People are behaving for once. And it’s awesome.” he sighed.

Then they stayed in silence. For a while.

Nova stared out the window, avoiding eye contact, while Simon whistled as he tapped his fingers on the wheel.

Not a word. No small talk.

Nothing.

“Sooooo…” Said Simon. “Shall we go?”

“Perhaps we should.” Nova said, immediately, as a flash of relief crossed her face.

So Simon smiled at her once again as he turned on the engine, while Nova put on her seatbelt next to him.

-.-

It took her so little time to come back Simon confirmed she was one of those people who would strategically write their shopping list so they wouldn’t be going back and forth through the aisles. It also surprised him that, being a person so young, she was so...focused on everything.

She really had only bought groceries and essential items. No junk food. No silly things she swore she would need and then she didn’t. Not even candy from the checkout area.

Simon hurried himself out of the car to help her put the bags in the trunk, but once she saw him and guessed his intentions, she quickly said:

“It’s okay. I can do it.”

“I know you can.” He clarified. Because, well, she indeed was a strong person. “But maybe you could use some help. That’s...a couple of bags.”

“Yeah. I know.” Nova nodded, already carrying the first two of the bags. “But I can do it. Please. I’m already causing you too much trouble.”

Simon was yet again confused by her reaction, and he tried to talk to her about it. But just like Nova looked like she didn’t want to be hugged right now, she also looked like she didn’t want to talk about it right now.

So he just opened the trunk for her and held it in case it would go down by its own. It had never happened, but just to be sure. Sometimes Simon’s anxiety made him overanalyze some situations.

Less than 10 minutes had passed by the time Nova finished putting all her stuff in the car, Simon figured she was still training, since she was as agile and fast as she was the day she notified them she would be taking some time off from the team and the Renegades in general.

They got in the car again, and before the silence could get as uncomfortable as the previous one, Simon took the initiative to speak.

“I think...you forgot to answer a part of my message.” He said, carefully. “You know...the part where I told you that maybe we could...go to a restaurant or something?”

Nova’s face, ears and neck turned so red she became a human-shaped cherry, and although in other circumstances he would’ve considered it adorable, this time he couldn’t help but feel sympathy for her. He had been there and done that many times; the messages Nova had sent were peak odd. The type of messages one would overthink over and over again because they had to be perfect. And if something, anything sounded off after you sent it, your world would be in shambles.

So he just smiled to assure it was okay. That he didn’t mind. That those messages didn’t have to be so formal in the first place.

And that, obviously, didn’t work.

For his experience, it never did.

“I...I...Yeah.” Nova scratched her brow. “Pretty much I...I...can recall not knowing how to word that so I just left it blank and I...must’ve forgotten to…”

“Nova.” Simon said, softly. “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

“Did I...offend you or something?”

“Absolutely no!” He said. “Why would you think that? It’s just a slip. I know it wasn’t your intention and to be honest I still want to take you to eat something so...yeah, there’s no reason to get weird about this. There’s no need to worry.”

Nova took a deep, hasty breath. She was flustered, son Simon tried to keep her calm; to make her feel like she was in a safe environment.

Why wouldn’t she be, in the first place?

She was his son’s girlfriend.

Why would he want to hurt her or make her feel bad?

“Nova, darling.” He said again. “Do you have something on your mind?”

“I do.” Nova cleared her throat, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t really...can eat out right now. I barely manage to afford my groceries, you know? It’s been…”

“But you’re not gonna pay your own bill. I mean, why would you do that?” Simon raised an eyebrow at her, genuinely confused, but still laughing nervously. Sweet rot, who had hurt this child so much? “ I’m the one who’s taking you to eat. You wouldn’t have to…”

“You don’t have to either!” She snapped. Not mad, but rather distressed, while breathing heavily.

Simon went still, afraid he would make it worse. Still, he couldn’t leave it like that, so he gulped and, once he reunited enough courage, he dared to speak again.

“What’s really on your mind, Nova?” He asked, this time in a more soothing voice. Nova’s whole being went red again, but the shadow of confusion in her expression was noticeable and hard to ignore. For this reason, Simon decided to provide some kind of scaffolding.

“For example: Why would you write a message that is directed to me in such a formal way?” He asked, patiently. “Why would you ask me to pick you up as if you were asking me to help you commit a crime? Why would you act so uncomfortable around me when it’s not the first time that we’ve met? Why would you…?”

“Because it’s you.” Nova answered, avoiding eye contact.

And he expected that answer, yes. But, at the same time, he expected to understand the statement once it slipped out of her mouth.

However, he didn’t.

“Can you elaborate?” He requested.

Nova clicked her tongue as she rubbed her neck, staring at the dash right in front of her.

“...I can disappear if you want me to. Would that make you feel more comfortable?”

“No. No, no.” Nova nodded, waving her hands, finally looking at him. “That won’t be necessary.”

“Then...would you tell me what’s wrong?”

Nova thought about it. She squirmed in her seat. Gulped. Coughed. Squirmed again.

Then, playing with her own hands, she spoke.

“...I’m ashamed.”

“Ashamed of what…?” Simon tilted his head to the side. “Ashamed of who…? What exactly are you ashamed of? ...Dating Adrian?”

Nova flinched.

“I would never.”

A spark of pride illuminated his thoughts and his insides in general, but Simon tried to pay little attention to it.

“I’m just...ashamed. Of everything.” Nova said, sighing. “I…”

And she cut herself in the middle of the phrase, realizing that once again she wouldn’t be able to finish it.

Simon didn’t realize he was frowning until he felt the muscles of his face slowly giving in. He understood.

And he knew that anything that had happened during the Second Battle for Gatlon had been her fault. She might have contributed in some way but, at the end of the day, she was just a child.

A very confused and manipulated child who just needed someone to listen without twisting her words as they pleased.

“...I just think that...if I were you I wouldn’t like me either.” She wasn’t crying, nor did she sound like she was about to any time soon. There was so much resignation in her voice that her words weighted as much as a giant rock. “Hugh gave me his blessing to...you know, date Adrian…”

“I can recall giving you my blessing too.”

Nova tripped on her own words.

“I mean, you did. You both did.” She said. “But still… It’s because… because you want him to be happy. And I get it. I really do. And I understand because, like I said, I wouldn’t like me either...I know I am loved. I know I matter for some people...but I also know I did...bad things, and I carry this sort of cursed last name…”

She stopped and breathed for a second before continuing.

“And I…” She finally looked at him. “I get it. You don’t have to pretend you like me, after all that happened. After I stole stuff from your house; infiltrated into your system; caused a terrorist attack...You really don’t have to pretend.”

Simon blinked, and if it wasn’t for her specific and controlled body language, he would’ve thought she was making excuses or even joking.

But Nova was telling the truth.

And it was heartbreaking.

“Perhaps you should think outside the box and picture a scenario in which you realize we’re not pretending.” That’s the only thing he said.

“Perhaps you should realize that we love you and you matter to us.” He reached for her hand and softly touched her knuckles. Her hands were shaking. “And that, yes, we want Adrian to be happy, but we also want you to be happy.”

Nova’s eyes seemed to be covered in crystals, but she remained in silence.

“You’re part of this family now, Nova.” He smiled. “And I’m sorry, but you’ll have to deal with that.”

Nova sniffed, swallowing, while lacing her hand into Simon’s.

“Artino and everything?” She muttered.

“Artino it’s not what defines you.” Simon chuckled. “You’re Nova. Just Nova... And we’re really proud of you. Not ashamed.”

She smiled back at him, wordless, and Simon gave her a quick handshake before putting his hands around the wheel.

Because even now, that her walls were crumbling right before her eyes, she didn’t look like someone who wanted to be hugged at the moment, and he accepted and respected that.

“I was planning to take you to my favorite restaurant, but maybe we can prepare a homemade meal instead?” He suggested. “You know? In-laws being in-laws? … Not to brag, but I make the best lemon pie in the world.”

Nova chuckled. Relaxed.

Happy.

“Sounds great.” She said, nodding.

“Excellent.” Simon turned on the engine.

“Let’s go home.”

[him-e]

what did you think of shadow and bone? have you read the books? i only read the duology

Thoughts on Shadow and Bone, now that you've probably seen it?

I think the show is alright? It lacks a real wow factor as far as I’m concerned, but it’s enjoyable. It’s especially enjoyable in those parts I didn’t anticipate to like / didn’t even know would be there. 

Whereas the main selling points leave a lot to be desired.

The good stuff: the visuals. The aesthetic. The overall concept. Production, casting and costumes are excellent, the setting is fascinating. The worldbuilding isn’t perfect and is sometimes confusing, which is probably due to the show jumping ahead of the books and introducing elements that happen much later in the book saga, but I’m loving the vague steampunk-y vibe of it mixed with more typical fantasy stuff and slavic-inspired lore, the fact that it’s set in dystopian Russia rather than your usual ye olde England.

I find it interesting that in this ‘verse the Grisha are simultaneously superstars, privileged elite, legendary creatures and despised outcasts, according to the context and the type of magic they wield. It’s A Lot, and so far it’s all a bit underdeveloped and messy, like a patchwork of different narratives and tropes sewn together without an organic worldbuilding structure. (there are hints to a past when they were hunted, but how did they go from that to being, essentially, an institutionalized asset to the government isn’t clear yet. There’s huge narrative potential in this, and I hope future seasons will delve into those aspects)

Many of the supporting characters are surprisingly solid. I appreciated that Genya and Zoya eventually sort of traded places, subverting the audience’s assumptions about them and their own character stereotypes, despite the little screentime they were given.

Breakout characters/ships for me were Nina/Matthias, and even more so the Crows, i.e. the stuff I didn’t see coming and knew nothing about (having only read the first book). (I thought the entire Crows subplot was handled in a somewhat convoluted way, at least in the first episodes; it was hard to keep track of who wanted Alina and why, but the Crows’ chemistry is so strong it carried the whole Plot B on its shoulders).

HELNIK. As an enemies to lovers dynamic, Helnik was SUPER on the nose, I’d say bordering on clichéd with the unapologetic, straight outta fanfiction use of classic tropes like “we need to team up to survive” and “there’s only one bed and we’ll freeze to death if we don’t take our conveniently damp clothes off and keep each other warm with the heat of our naked bodies” (not that I’m complaining, but i like to pine for my ships a bit before getting to the juicy tropetown part, tyvm). And then they’re suddenly on opposite sides again because of a tragic misunderstanding - does Bardugo hate high-conflict dynamics? It certainly seems so, because between Helnik and Darklina I’m starting to see a pattern where the slow burn and blossoming mutual trust is rushed and painted in broad, stereotypical strokes to get as fast as possible to the part where they *hate each other again* and that’s... huh. Something.

^That’s probably why I’m almost more interested in Kaz x Inej, because their relationship feels a bit more nuanced, a bit more mysterious, and a bit more unpredictable. (I didn’t bother spoiling myself about them, so I really don’t know where they’re going, but it’s refreshing to see a dynamic that the narrative isn’t scrambling to define in one direction or the other as quickly as possible)

-

Now, as for Darklina VS Malina... I found exactly what I expected. 

Both are ship dynamics I’m, on principle, very much into (light heroine/dark villain, pining friends to lovers) but both are also much less interesting than they claim to be, or could have been with different narrative choices. I’ll concede that the show characters are all more fleshed out and likable than their book counterparts, and the cringe parts I vaguely remembered from the books played out differently. And, well, Ben Barnes dominates the scene, he’s hot as HELL, literally every single second he’s on screen is a fuck you to Bardugo’s attempts to make his character lame and uninteresting and I’m LOVING it, lol.

But yeah, B Barnes aside, Darklina is intrinsically, deliberately made to be unshippable. 

It makes me mad, because it’s - archetypally speaking - made of shipping dynamite: yin/yang-sun and moon, opposites attract, COMPLEMENTARY POWERS AND SO ON. And what does Bardugo do with these ingredients? A FUCKING DELIBERATE DISASTER:

^ Placing the kiss so early on (season 1, episode five) effectively kills the romantic tension that was (correctly) building up until that point, and leaves the audience very little to still hope for, in terms of emotional evolution of the dynamic. 

Bardugo lays all the good stuff down as early and quickly as possible (the bonding, the conflicted attraction, the recognizing the other as one’s equal, etc) only to turn the tables and pull the rug so y’all sick creepyshippers won’t have anything to look forward to, because THEY’VE ALREADY HOOKED UP AND THAT BELONGS TO THE PAST, IT’S OVER, THEY’RE ENEMIES. This, combined to the fact that she falls for him *without* knowing who he really is, is the opposite of what I want from a heroine/villain ship (it’s basically lovers to enemies, and while that can be valid too, I wanted to see more pining and more prolonged, tormented symbolic attraction to the Shadow/Animus on Alina’s part). 

But here’s the trick: it’s not marketed as lovers to enemies - it has all the aesthetics and trappings of an enemies to lovers (the Darkling is, from the get go, villain-presenting, starting from his name), so it genuinely feels like a trollfic, or at the very least a cautionary tale *against* shipping the heroine with the tall dark brooding young villain, and I don’t think it’s cool at all. It makes the story WAY less interesting, because it humanizes the villain early on (when it’s not yet useful or poignant to the story, because it’s unearned) but it’s a red herring. The real plot twist is that the villain shouldn’t be sympathized with, just defeated: there’s a promise of nuanced storytelling, that is quickly denied and tossed aside. So is the idea of incorporating your Shadow (a notion that Bardugo must be familiar with, otherwise she wouldn’t have structured Alina and the Darkling as polar opposites who complement each other, but that she categorically refutes)

Then we have Malina. The good ship.

Look, I’m not that biased against it. I don’t want to be biased on principle against a friends to lovers dynamic that antagonizes a heroine/villain one, because every narrative is different, and for personal reasons I can deeply relate to the idea of being (unspeakably) in love with your best friend. So there are aspects of Malina that I can definitely be into, but it troubles me that in this specific context it’s framed as a regression. It’s Alina’s comfort zone, a fading dream of happiness from an idealized childhood, to sustain which the heroine systematically stunts her growth and literally repressed her own powers, something that in the books made her sickly and weak. But the narrative weirdly romanticizes this codependency, often making her tunnel vision re: going back to Mal her primary goal and centering on him her entire backstory/motivation, to the point that when she starts acting more serious re: her powers and alleged mission to destroy the Fold, it feels inorganic and unearned. 

Mal is intrinsically extraneous to Alina’s powers, he doesn’t share them, he doesn’t understand them, he has little to offer to help her with them, and so the feeling is that he’s also extraneous to her heroine’s journey, aside from being a sort of sidekick or safe harbor to eventually come back to. People have compared him to Raoul from Phantom of the Opera, and yeah, he has the same ~magic neutralizer~ vibe, tbh.

The narrative also polarizes Mal’s normalcy and relative “safety” against Aleksander’s sexy evil, framing Alina’s quasi-platonic fixation on the former as a better and purer form of love than her (much more visible and palpable) attraction to the latter. This is exacerbated by the show almost entirely relying on scenes of them as kids to convey their bond. I’m sure there are ways to depict innocent pining for your best friend that don’t involve obsessively focusing on flashbacks of two CHILDREN running in a meadow and looking exactly like brother and sister. LIKE. I get it, they’re like soulmates in every possible way, BUT DO THEY WANT TO KISS EACH OTHER?

Which brings me to a general complain: for a young adult saga centering on a young heroine and full of so many hot people, this story is weirdly unsexy? There are a lot of shippable dynamics, but they’re done in such a careless, ineffective way that makes ZERO EFFORT to work on stuff like slow burn, pining and romantic tension, and when it does it’s so heavy handed that the viewer doesn’t feel encouraged at all to fill the blanks with their imagination and start anticipating things (which is, imo, the ESSENCE of shipping). The one dynamic that got vaguely close to this is, again, Kaz and Inej, and coincidentally it’s also the one we didn’t get confirmed as romantic YET. Other than that, where’s the slow burn? What ship am I supposed to agonize over during the hiatus to season two? Has shipping become something to feel ashamed of, like an embarrassing relative you no longer want to invite in your home?

Anyway, back to Alina/Darkling/Mal, this is how the story reads to me:

girl suspects to be special, carefully pretends to be normal so she can stay with Good Boy

the girl’s powers eventually manifest; she’s forcibly separated from Good Boy

the girl’s powers attract Bad Boy who is her equal and opposite but is also a major asshole

girl initially falls for Bad Boy; has to learn a hard lesson that nobody that sexy will ever want her for who she is, he’s just trying to exploit her

also, no, there is no such thing as a Power Couple

girl is literally given a slave collar by Bad Boy through which he harnesses her power (a parody of the Twin Scars trope)

you know how the story initially suggested that the joint powers of Darkness and Light would defeat evil? LOL NO, Darkness is actually evil itself and the way you destroy evil is using Light to destroy Darkness, forget that whole Jungian bullshit of integrating your shadow, silly!

conclusion: girl realizes being special sucks. She was right all along! Hiding and suppressing her powers was the best choice! She goes back to the start, to the same Good Boy she was meekly pining for prior to the start of the story.

... there’s an uncomfortable overall subtext that reads a lot like a cautionary tale against - look, not just against darkships and villain/heroine pairings, but also *overpowered* heroines and, well... change? Growth?

Like, it’s certainly a Choice that Alina starts the story *already* in love with Mal. That she always knew it was him. The realization could have happened later (making the dynamic much more shippable, too), but no.