#its an all hands on deck type of theory

[dinitride-art]

Possessiongate - the monologue/Mike Wheeler got got (pt.1)

This now lives in my head rent free. Current theory is that Vecna attached himself to Mike somehow before he left Hawkins and has been fighting for control the entirety of season four- and that Mike’s been able to have some control because Will is his light. Vecna was described during the Hellfire game as being recognizable by his missing left eye and left hand. Important to also note that these are actually magical artifacts in D&D- I think they were both introduced in first edition before Vecna was even introduced into the lore/as a thing you could fight. 

Yes I am starting yet another analysis of season four that I don’t know how many parts it will have- but I have a feeling its going to end up being stupidly long. Just like the Lighting analysis. 

S4:E2 - Rink O’ Mania (Why Mike’s such a dick?)

Before I get into the whole Rink O’ Mania mess I noticed something during the airport scene. 

Mike’s hiding his eyes. First it was with the sunglasses, and now it’s with the visor thing. I don’t have a picture on hand, but the shot of Mike asking about the painting sticks out to me. He’s very weird when he sees Will for the first time, caught completely off guard. It’s actually reminding me of, “he’s... my friend” or whatever Will says about Mike when he recognizes him when Will’s possessed. The Mind flayer/Vecna (up for debate who’s controlling who) knows who Mike and Joyce are. They also know who Will and El are, quite well. Vecna’s target this season was actually El- he wants her to look at him while he destroys everything. He wants someone to fight against. 

I think that Mike might’ve been so weird when he saw Will because it through Vecna for a loop. Like, oh fuck there he is. The guy that can sense me. Or maybe he just wanted to fuck with Will. Because there is no reason that Mike should be weird around Will, yeah sure he knows he loves him at the end of season three but he was able to hug him goodbye. Twice, even.

Another thing I think might be happening here- that I’m more inclined to think this is- is that Mike is caught off guard when he sees Will because Will is his light. Who knows how long Vecna might have been in Mike’s head (I think it was the night the Chrissy gate opened- or that he’s been trying to get to Mike the whole time that the Byers have been away and just now is able to because of the open gate). But what if Will can snap him out of it and bring Mike back to being fully in control? Like, I don’t think Mike knows yet that Vecna’s in his head. But I think that Vecna knows that Will can snap Mike out of it and that’s why he’s getting Mike to keep his distance/ignoring Will all day. And not mentioning Will’s birthday just to fuck with him- because Vecna knows when Will’s birthday is. He learnt that info like two years ago in the Byers shed. And he also learnt how much Mike cares about Will and vise versa. 

So, if Vecna’s using Mike as a way to mess with El and Will- and as a spy- then he also knows how to keep Mike in line. And why he’s keeping Mike away from Will when something happens that fucks with El.

Also they’re mirroring each other here like theyr were in the monologue. Which could be saying that season 2 and Will’s possession is paralleling Mike’s season four possession. 

This isn’t as strong but thought I’d mention it anyways- Mike and Will are paralleling each other again with both positions in shot and their shoe sizes. But also 10 is very clear on both of their skates- and not on El’s. We’re focusing on Mike and Will’s skates and it’s weird that 10 is the number below 11, yeah, but it’s also weird that it’s kinda just 1. So it might be saying that hey! One’s here! And he’s been in both Mike AND Will’s heads!

I’ve mentioned before that there’s an unnecessary focus on Will- and that Mike’s line, “you were rolling your eyes and moping” and basically narrating what we see above is proof that Mike’s been looking at him the whole time. Also the lighting difference on Will’s face. But we don’t get to see Mike looking at Will- which might make sense if Vecna’s not letting him talk to Will. 

This shot- the disco ball that I now forgive but still feel really oblivious for not noticing it sooner- love you Rink O’ Mania disco ball. Anyways, it parallels the snow ball disco ball in season two where there’s an overwhelming theme of forced conromity and pink and blue and then parallels it again when Max gets...fucking hell, when Max GEts Vecna’D. Jesus Christ when will it end. So, I’ll add that to the ‘Vecna’s definitely in Mike’s head’ proof. ANYWAYS- as I was saying, the disco ball is drawing our attention to Will. And we know that Mike’s been paying attention to Will the whole time, but this makes it really clear.

It’s also why I think that Will being lit like this, and being positioned like this, are all saying that Will is Mike’s light. And that’s why Vecna hasn’t been able to fully take over Mike when he’s in Cali- also because he’s just really far away from Hawkins. And again, Mike’s visor is hiding his eyes. 

Okay so El’s holding Mike’s left hand here which- welp. Uh, maybe is possibly referencing Vecna again. But these two shots are also paralleling the Snow Ball again, but instead of Mike being alone- it’s Will. And it’s also showing how we see Will a lot AND that he’s in front of light A  LOT.

This disco ball is also really ominous as an opening shot. So like the tone of this scene is weird. It’s meant to be both happy, miserable, weird and forboding. Or at least that’s what I’m kinda getting from it- also looks a hell of a lot like the snowball again. Really bad signs all over this place

This shot is kinda creepy to me too. It looks like- actually Ive got a picture of this on hand, nice-

it looks like the mind flayer, just a bit. The long legs and the weirdly shaped head.

Also, the red brick makes reminds me of the red setting of the destroyed Creel house. Because there are quite a few settings in episode nine that are either red of blue- surfer boy pizza and the Creel house (mind edition) are red, and the Creel house (real), the Creel house (upside down) and the prison are all very blue or somewhat blue toned. The colour of the mind flayer (and Vecna) is red. The upside down is blue. So, I’m thinking that colour theory is at work here- with these specific colour associations. Mike also drinks from both his and El’s cups with red straws. And there’s no water in the upside down so maybe they want water y’know?

This is where it starts. Just barely. The red straw in shot is also pointing to Mike and visible when we look at Will. So Mike and El are placed in from of blue and red lights. Similar to the monologue with Mike and Will being in front of blue and red lights. When Angela roles up to the table she’s wearing two watches. On her left wrist no less. Time, clocks, Mike and Will’s matching watches, what’s about to happen with Mike’s left eye- Vecna’s at play here. 

You see how Mike turns to look at El and his left eye gets a veil of dark shadow around it? Are yo seeing that shit? Like, Mike should know what’s going on here. He’s literally been bullied his whole life. He should know what’s happening. But he completely ignores it. 

The light is shining on Will here again, because there’s some Vecna related shit going down with Mike and I think Mike’s trying to use Will as a way to ground himself. Blue and yellow lights behind Will also point to this. Mike was the person who Will relied on in season two to get back to himself. At the arcade- which parallels Rink O’ Mania in colours- with the strip of yellow and blue lights there as well (but they’re flipped/upside down in relation to each other. blues on top of yellow here- and yellow’s on top of blue at the arcade). But also when Will goes outside and sees the Upside Down (and the blue lights) the colour of the lightning bolt outside changes from yellow to green when Mike comes out and gets him- breaking him from the trance. 

I think that the very same thing is happening her. But now it’s Mike instead of Will who needs to break out of the trance. 

And when Mike and El are in this shot? It’s pretty different than the one before, sure the lightings gotten a bit more sinister but with Mike’s left eye it’s a bit excessive. The literal whites of his eyes are darker than before- like significantly. Where as with El it’s not nearly as jarring.

Mike’s left eye stays in the dark even as the shot pans out. He’s also sipping his drink again and the fact that it has a red straw and Mike’s in front of red brick and there’s a red light directly over him? I am so very suspicious. 

AND WHEN MIKE GETS UP???? His left eye is like this still. It’s creepy. And exactly like the damn monologue. And Mike should have known El isn’t in a good situation here, he and all of his friends have been in situations like this forever. But the yellow and blue I think is a good thing- I think it’s signaling Mike talking back control. Even if he might not be aware what’s happening.

And just to show Will because Mike’s face is just so different. Despite them being in the same amount of light/facing the same light source, Will’s left eye isn’t ominously darkened like an evil is looking through and waiting for an opportunity to strike, y’know?

But here’s the thing

Mike and Will are kind of arguing and Mike’s face is all scrunched up (similar to how it was in the monologue). And Will’s glowing as per usual this season.

And then Mike snaps out of it. Staring at Will’s lips, yes, but also because Will is his light. Talking to Will changes Mike’s whole expression- and this is similar to how Mike looked at the airport when he saw Will. He looks confused and kind of surprised ish.

And then we see Mike LOOKING at Will. And Will’s in the light, and Mike’s still not, but we see him looking at Will. And the green, yellow and blue neon lights are behind him. That S also kinda looks just a bit like a lightning bolt.

And after talking to Will? His face starts going back to normal. Like immediately after. And then Mike goes and tries to stop what’s happening but he’s too late.

So, what if Vecna and Mike have been fighting over control this whole time- or maybe Vecna’s just been influencing Mike to do shit and Will keeps getting in the way? Like Mike did in season 2? 

The parallels to season two and Will being possessed are paralleling so hard right now. This is the second scene that Mike’s been like this- the other one I looked at being the monologue. Like?? What was the reason for Mike’s eye to be like this twice? (probably more than that but I gotta make different posts for those- I’ll get back to ya’ll on that)

Vecna won’t leave Mike and Will the fuck alone. 

1 2 3 

[pokemon-card-of-the-day]

Pokemon Card of the Day #3129: Articuno (Team Up)

Articuno was a strange sort of Pokemon in that it had to be Active to protect its team but also didn't do a lot up there. This meant being relegated to an early-game role at best, but that role at least existed. Giving just enough time for a Water deck to set up better could be nice in theory. Water, however, wasn't the most impressive type when this was available, so it would probably have to find its place in some of the lower tier decks if it was going to be good at all.

110 HP was decent in the context of the very early portions of the game, though the Lightning Weakness meant that Zapdos was a big issue to worry about. It also wasn't that hard for a lot of the top decks to get a good hit off by their second turn. There was a Fighting Resistance here, but that generally just helped against whatever Buzzwole were still around at the time. The Retreat Cost here was 2 in case you really wanted to switch it out, but if you ever got 2 Energy on Articuno you'd rather just use Cold Cyclone for some chip damage and to move the Energy somewhere else for a future turn.

Blizzard Veil was an Ability that only worked when Articuno was your Active Pokemon. Whenever your opponent played a Supporter card from their hand, all effects of that card were ignored if done to any of your Benched Water-type Pokemon. This let those Pokemon actually set up, so you weren't your Quagsire or Volcanion Prism Star targeted down by a Guzma. That was the general extent of its use unless you had this in something like a later Frosmoth deck to protect from Boss's Orders. It did not, however, protect anything also helping those set up that were of a different type, such as Naganadel, so even with the Ability it could feel kind of limited.

Cold Cyclone wasn't the best thing in the world, at 70 damage for 2 Water Energy. You also had to move 2 Water Energy from Articuno to 1 of your Benched Pokemon. It did, however, have some use, to get some chip damage in while still protecting the Bench to build up your board. There were times where using this would actually make sense since Blizzard Veil was there.

Articuno would have been better if Water was a better type, but it was kind of marginal and the best Water decks of the day also ran a good amount of Pokemon of other types for help. Articuno just didn't have a great role as a result, even if it probably would have been really nice in a different format. It's still worth noting this card, however, since anyone building a Water deck from the era could consider using this to sit up front for a turn or two, as in that context it was an interesting card.

[aesethewitch]

what does each card mean for you when you do readings? ik you cant always get direct yes or no from tarot so when someone asks what would indicate more yes than no and vice versa?

Good question! The basic answer is, it depends. The long answer is:

Every card obviously has its own meaning. I tend to use the imagery over book meanings, reading intuitively based on what I know about color theory, object positioning, which way figures are facing, what cards appear together, how the cards come out of the deck (fliers vs flippers vs sliders vs stubborn movers), etc. A lot of factors can adjust the meaning of a given card. Knowing how to account for those adjustments and how to take the information on offer and turn it into a coherent reading is a key skill in reading tarot cards, and in other divination.

Now, as for yes/no questions, part of why I say it's tough to give solid ones is because the future is always in flux. No matter how accurate I am in saying yes or no, I could still end up being wrong in the long run. If you make changes or choose a path I didn't foresee, that could make my yes into a no, or vice versa. That's why I give the disclaimer of "this may end up being wrong or an incomplete yes/no" before answering those types of questions.

But what would make something a yes or a no? Again, it depends. The nature of the question changes the meaning of a given card, too. Let's use an example question: "Will I be successful in my career?"

If I were to draw the Seven of Pentacles, that's a pretty hard yes in my book. Pentacles are the suit of material reality -- wealth, financial success, and so on. It's why you'll often see this suit replaced with Coins. The classic imagery of the Seven of Pentacles is someone observing the Pentacle disks growing from a plant which has been carefully and lovingly tended. Its basic meaning is that success is coming, thanks to hard work and attention. Therefore, the answer to "Will I be successful?" is yes.

On the other hand, if I ask the same question and get the Three of Swords, that's a clear no. We think of the Three of Swords as a card of heartbreak and betrayal in love, romance, or other interpersonal relationships. But it can also mean other heartbreaks like painful disappointment. It's loss. It's coming up short despite the effort put in. And so, the answer would be no.

What if I were to draw, say, the Fool? That's a tougher one to pin yes or no onto in this particular example. In fact, the Fool is one I wouldn't interpret as either yes or no in this case. Rather, I would interpret it as being too soon to tell. The Fool is new, just setting its feet on the path. Its eyes are full of wonder, seeking fresh perspectives and getting started on a new journey. The Fool is potential. In the question of "Will I be successful?" the answer is: maybe. My interpretation would err on the side of suggesting open-mindedness and remaining alert to hidden information without losing the fresh-faced wonder of a new adventure.

But if the question was, "Should I start a new career?" and I drew the Fool... that's closer to a yes. The Fool's purpose is to start anew and begin again. Its advice is to take the chance and try something different, so yes.

I take into account the structure of the question, the suit, the imagery, and (in multi-card spreads) how the cards fall together. The spread itself can change card meanings, too, depending on whether it's a holistic all-cards-at-once type of reading or a spread where each card has a specific topic (past/present/future, Celtic Cross, etc.).

It's all circumstantial. Developing my personal style of reading took several years of practice, trial, and error. I'm entirely self-taught, and I didn't really use guides, websites, or other resources to figure out what I was doing. What I do, and how I identify yes versus no (and other answers), is going to be fairly different from someone else's method.

Some readers give each card hard yes, no, and maybe meanings. I don't think it's particularly useful; there are other divination methods better suited to yes/no questions. Tarot, in my opinion, is best used to identify options, possibilities, and missing information.

This ended up being longer than I expected it to be! So, a smidge of shilling: If you like my work, consider tipping me. If you'd like a tarot reading, I offer commissions! Thanks!

[atlastfree]

I’m gonna post my infodump here because I figured maybe someone would find it interesting. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the Cambrian Explosion YuGiOh card post, specifically the card that someone made about it. I decided to remake it, and I’ll tell you why.

Left: Original card. [ID: Cambrian Catastrophe / Summon up to 5 different ‘Cambrian’ type monsters in defense mode]

Right: My errata. [ID: Cambrian Catastrophe / Once per turn: Special summon up to 5 level 4 or below “Cambrian” monsters with different names from the Main Deck in face up defense position. Monsters special summoned by the effect of “Cambrian Catastrophe” cannot be used to XYZ summon.]

heres what i had to say: If this (the left orginal card) were a real card it would have to be structured and worded entirely differently because todays yugioh errata and just the game in general is so heavily focused on semantics that if they didnt errata this card it most certainly would be banned instantly.

to start, the first thing i noticed is that it just says summon. if it were to be a legit card you would HAVE to say “special summon,” otherwise it would be up to the player’s interpretation what kind of way each monster was summoned. lets say in this fake archtype theres an incredibly op Cambrian that could be flip summoned, and lets say that when this monster is flip summoned it destroys all monsters on the field and inflicts 500 lp of damage for every monster destroyed in a “just deserts” style effect. because the card didn’t specify on what kind of summon was or can be used when the spell is activated, that means the player of this card can easily say that they flip summoned that op Cambrian flip effect monster; but the more likely possibility is that the player can say all 5 monsters were normal summoned, and since a lot of effect cards in specific archtypes work on when cards are normal summoned, immediately thatd be activating 5 effects. so yeah, the first thing that would need to change is definitely that this card needs to specify that each cambrian monster is being special summoned.

the other reason this card would need instant nerfing is because, again, due to the lack of specifics, the card simply saying “summon” and not elaborating what kind of summon or where youd be summoning from, the player would be able to summon from wherever they want (graveyard, banished cards, hand, extra deck, etc.) and however they want. in the absolute worst case scenario, they could summon 5 cambrian monsters from the extra deck, which is a huge problem. the player would be able to summon 5 fucking syncro xyz fusion link etc whatever monsters of their choosing and i know this archtype is made up but as a rule of thumb most of the time extra deck monsters are the endgoal; having high attack and defense and incredible effects that can make or break a game, and which usually signal that the purpose of the deck is meeting its endgame— so five of them would just be disgusting.

as a quick intermission, i want to note that while i was discussing this, a friend of mine mentioned that the main problem with this card is that theres no consequence or payoff, and that a simple fix would be establishing that for each monster summoned, lp, or another monster would have to be tributed. while a good idea in theory, this, unfortunately, doesnt fix any of the problems with the cards. like ive said, the issue is always the semantics:

lets say we did go with the idea of tributing 1 monster from the field per card summoned with cambrian catastrophe as a means to give the card some consequence. if someone has tokens on the field that’s no consequence whatsoever ultimately. if cambrian catastrophe was errated to have the sacrifice 1 monster per card summoned that can easily be resolved using scapegoat, or even just kuriboh & multiply, and the same goes for lp; there are dozens upon dozens of cards that boost lp, and even more combos that grant thousands of lp at a time. in the end, there being no tribute isnt the problem.

so, to recap: if this card were to be erratad, the first things that would have to change would be it going from “summon” to “special summon,” because, like i said, if a cambrian monster has an effect that activates under certain summoning conditions then the player would be able to activate them all at once because the summoning condition is up to interpretation as the players so choose. the second thing that would have to change is where the monsters are being summoned from, and the most likely option is the main deck or hand, because extra deck/gy/banishment pile could prove to be a problem (unless we’re okay with this deck being insane meta.)

the next thing that would have to be specified is the level of the monsters summoned, because if this fake archctype has insane level 8-10 cards then girl now there are 5 of them on field. this card gave me the impression that its a card played for defense similar to how scapegoat is, so i imagine the monsters summoned would be level 4 and below because thats usually the like rule of thumb for when cards are mass summoned by 1 effect.

next up, this card only says that the monsters summoned by this effect are in defense position. it doesn’t specify face up or face down and henceforth that would be up to player interpretation as well, which would also be a problem if any of the cards summoned are flip monsters, or monsters that effects activate when theyre in a face down position, similar to “kiseitai.” so, again, depending on how we’re perceiving this fake archtype, we would also have to specify that theyre likely in face up defense position.

as a second intermission, and just because semantics do get crazy with the yugioh ocg: the card says 5 different cambrian monsters, and i know what they mean by different is varied monsters, but someone can easily interpret this as individual monsters— meaning they can summon 5 of the same 2 types of monster. (for anyone who doesnt get this particular bit, you can only have up to 3 of 1 non banned card in your deck, so yeah, 2 types of monster.) so i want to establish that what konami does when they mean ‘different as in varied’ rather than ‘different as in individual’ is that they say “monsters with different names.”

it was at this point i realized two things: 1) that depending on how we’re perceiving this fake archtype, we might want to specify if the cards summoned this way can be used as material for tribute summoning or summoning cards from the extra deck, because summoning 5 lv 4 monsters is also an easy way to just fuckin xyz an op freak onto the field, and 2) that this is a quick play card, meaning it can be activated from the hand during either player’s turn. this means my hunch about it being a defensive spell was totally right and an important footnote.

from that point on I ultimately decided that the best bet would be that monsters summoned by this effect cant be used to xyz summon, because if 5 level 4 monsters are summoned, unless your opponent has 5 attack position monsters, being able to xyz summon is guaranteed no matter how many monsters are destroyed— which is just too op— while synchro summoning is fair game if you can get the right levels on the field without them being killed due to this being a defensive quick effect

maybe the biggest and most important change though: there needs to be a hard once per turn on this card or else we’re all fucked. thats a hard being able to summon 15 monsters per turn otherwise and even though people with maxx c would have a blast it still wouldnt look too good for anyone in terms of what the player may plan on doing with the monster.

So yeah that’s about it! let me know what you guys think

[theparanormalperiodical]

The Ultimate Beginner’s Guide To Tarot Cards: A Brief History, How To Read Them And Choosing A Spread feat. Cheat Sheets

Cast your mind back to 2020. Well, if you can. I’ve blocked most of it out.

The national lockdowns were a hellish period for us all, unless you were one of the few billionaires able to profit from the global peril. But aside from OCD, I did take away a few things from that time.

And that was my love for tarot cards.

I’ve had my deck since my first year of university, so for about five or six years now. At first, I struggled to shuffle them, I found it hard to understand them and I just never really knew what to do with them. They were an ornament, not a hobby.

But it was only about three years later, when we all had to stay inside for months on end, that tarot became a crucial part of my weekly routine. Every Sunday I’d light a candle (preferably sandalwood or sage), put on the Life is Strange soundtrack and have my iPad on standby to help me research the meanings of the cards.

Then, I’d pull out my Rider Waite deck, take a few deep breaths, and call on the spirits to communicate with me through the deck. I’d pick up the deck and just hold it in my hands, inhaling, exhaling, inhaling, exhaling. I’d envision my energy rising from my chest up into my shoulder down through my arms, pulsating through my fingertips and right into the deck. And the energy from the deck would be pumped back into me. I became one with the cards.

And then, to complete this holistic, peaceful ritual I’d chuck ‘em on my bed and mix them together before compiling them back into a deck. Then, I’d lay them out in front of me (only now, when writing this sentence, do I realise that I don’t know any card terms, like I kind of put them in a stack and then smush them in one line so they’re fanned out?).

I close my eyes, hold out my hand, and let my fingertips select the cards representing my past, present and future. I collect the other cards into a deck and lay my selected cards in front of me. One by one I turn them over, using the booklet to help me decode my subconscious and messages from the spirits. I’d then use my iPad and a very helpful tarot website to help understand them even more.

Despite having a personal process that I’ve practiced many times now, there’s still so much I don’t know. I want to be able to read them without the assistance of a personal device, and ask for more than my past-present-future.

Why not tag along and join me on my tarot journey?

In today’s blog post, we are going to find out what tarot cards are, where they came from, the best ways to use tarot and how to read them.

Let’s start with an easy one: what is tarot?

So, tarot is a pack of playing cards used since the mid-15th century. Today, they normally consist of 78 cards which are split into Major and Minor arcana. Originally, they were used in “trick-taking” games (to be honest, I don’t really get what this means, it’s a type of card game that’s hella complex, kk) in Europe, but in the 18th century, the occultists got involved. 

They started using it to read the future. That being said, they’ve always been surrounded by occult themes, from a Dominican preacher calling out their inherent evil in a sermon - which we think is related to their use in gambling - to the introduction of astrological symbols in Florence at the turn of the 16th century.

The word “tarot” is derived from “tarrochi”, an Italian word which basically means “foolishness”. This was probably due to its association with the drinking, gambling and debauchery that surrounded them.

However, according to some spooky weirdos, tarot really began all the way back in ancient times and has links to Egypt and the Kabbalah (a critical school of thought that informed occultism).

"The origin of this pack of cards is very obscure. Some authorities seek to put it back as far as the ancient Egyptian Mysteries; others try to bring it forward as late as the fifteenth or even the sixteenth century ... [but] The only theory of ultimate interest about the Tarot is that it is an admirable symbolic picture of the Universe, based on the data of the Holy Qabalah."

- Aleister Crowley, probably the most famous occultist ever

They even say the first tarot deck exclusively used was derived from the Book of Hoth, and it was chockful of references to ancient Egypt. It’s still one of the most common decks used by occultists, alongside the Tarot of Marseilles and the Rider Waite deck.

So, what’s tarot card reading?

Tarot card reading is a type of cartomancy where people try to gain insight into the past, present n’ future. Or is it? Some believe it’s really about getting in touch with ourselves; our subconscious and our intuition. Somehow this helps us understand where we are coming from and going better, thereby “predicting” our future.

How you use them is completely up to you.

Each card has its own images and story, with the major arcana representing spiritual lessons and the minor representing our daily trials and struggles.

Personally, I call upon the spirits and believe they communicate with them by selecting the cards, giving me insights not only into myself but also my future.  

The basic tarot card reading process

There are plenty of decks and ways to read the cards to pick from. But let’s start with a basic set of steps to get you started.

Set the scene: I like to create a calm, relatively tech-free environment and kick things off with lots of deep breathing. If I was cool enough to meditate, I would, but normally I grab a diet coke, put on some soothing music and just sit quietly for a mo.

Clear the deck: shuffling the cards is critical. Not only does it give you a fresh set of answers every time, it gives you a chance to connect with the cards. At the same time, think about what you want to ask the deck, or in my case, the spirits. I like to visualise this energy flowing between my arms and hands into the deck and back into me.

(If you’re doing a spread) Do your spread - aka how you lay out cards: pull out the cards for your spread one-by-one until you’ve completed it. For each card, look up in the little booklet that comes with your deck the basic meaning of the card and think about what it could mean for you. Look at the card and see how the symbols relate to you. You could even consider researching meanings online as they can offer more depth into other perspectives.

Complete the spread: When you’ve finished going through the cards one-by-one, take in the meanings of all the cards collectively, like how your life might progress from past to present to future.

Finish up with some questions: ask a question, pull a card from the deck and decode the answer.

Here’s a couple of different spreads to try

One of the most off-putting things about tarot is how much there is to take in. It’s not just this set of weird-looking, multiple-meaning cards in front of you, it’s what you’re supposed to do with them. Most occultists would tell you to start with asking some simple questions and pulling a card - the answer - from the deck. But what’s stopping you from getting your hands dirty and tryin’ out a spread?

I still only do one spread - the past, present and future. Now, I want to see how else I can up my tarot game. 

So, what are the best spreads for novice tarot readers to start with?

Celtic cross: this 10 card spread highlights not just the past, present and future but also external influences and outcomes.

Five card spread: here, you stick with the basic past-present-future spread but add a card above and below the three cards, one which represents what’s driving this situation, and the other which is a potential outcome.

Horseshoe: this spread takes into account advice you should follow, obstacles and gives you an optimal action to resolve the problem at hand. This is great for tough decision-making.

How to read individual cards: the meanings of key symbols, images and themes

I’m a basic w*tch, k? 

I still gotta use the booklet and use my trusty tarot site to properly uncover all the potential meanings of the cards. I’ve never taken the time to really learn how to read the cards myself, but it’s actually not that difficult. Tarot cards, particularly the Rider Waite deck, share themes, symbols and images that make reading the meaning of individual cards pretty straightforward. 

Let’s run through them, shall we?

Cups: this suit is all about your emotions, openness and imagination

Wands: these cards represents your energy and your creativity

Swords: this one’s about your mind, so how you think and solve problems, and even communicate

Pentacles: this suit represents the physical world and how we interact with our work, homes and money

The court cards (King, Queen, Page and Knight): if multiple ones come up in a reading, you can interpret a progression as you move up or down in terms of authority. The Page and Knight often represent youth or inexperience, whereas the Queen and King represent adulthood and mastery. But they can also have more specific meanings, too.

King: leadership; success; attainment

Queen: empathy; compassion

Knight: taking action; mature energy; moving forward

Page: youthful; service

Each number has a specific meaning, too:

New beginnings; unity

Relationships; balance or duality

Creativity

Stability; structure

Conflict and change; growth

Harmony

Spiritual growth; life lessons

Understanding; accomplishment

Success; coming up to the completion of a cycle

Completion; enlightenment

The colours used in each card have different meanings:

Black: protection; negativity; illness; darkness

Red: safety; passion; anger

Pink: love; forgiveness; femininity

Orange: creativity; optimism

Brown: stability; earthliness; lack of boundaries

Yellow: opportunity; spontaneity

Gold: mastery; divinity

Green: healing; harmony; envy

Blue: peace; sadness; judgment

Purple: intuition; spirituality; reason

White: higher self; newness; birth

Silver: emotion; sensitivity

There are also a few critical symbols to watch out for:

The moon: change; passage of time; reflection

Keys: knowledge; discovery; opportunity

The ocean: possibility; emotion

Ship: personal journey; transformation

Tree: shelter; regeneration

Flag: pay attention for a major change

Major arcana: they represent big events or figures, or major influences and revelations

Minor arcana: they represent everyday events and influences

I know, I know - it’s a lot to take in! 

While I recommend you review this regularly and use this list when doing tarot so you can “actively revise”, it might be easier to have a cheat sheet on-hand to begin with.

So, here’s some links to the best-rated tarot cheat sheets: Cheat sheet 1 Cheat sheet 2 Cheat sheet 3

Ready to get your tarot on?

You should now be ready to take your first steps into the world of cartomancy. Ya welcome.

But before you grab your deck and start shuffling, I want to leave you with one final tip: find the process that works for you. Tarot is all about self-reflection, as much as it is about being a spooky bi4tch. Take your time, try different things and make it your own!

If you liked this post, make sure you like and reblog to let me know. Want to hear something spooky uhhh okay not every weekend but like every fortnight, okay, I’m getting back into it? Hit follow.

[gaycaelus]

hii hope u don't mind be sharing a snippet of what i may or may not put in my ongoing fic beneath the waves by rosebur on ao3 o/ lols

when ranboo is blinking awake this time, it's with much less efficiency than normal. he struggles to keep his head up, to keep his eyes open. he looks around, momentarily freezing as he sees he's a dimly lit car. his car. but hadn't he just fallen asleep next to a bonfire with tommy? there's an odd, ambient lighting to it, orange and dim but just bright enough to make out every button on the front dashboard.

he stretches awkwardly in his seat, before the sheer piercing gaze of someone - something - looking at him.

he doesn't feel like this is his body. this doesn't feel right. hes not who he's supposed to be.

his motions feel involuntary and controlled. he turns to look in the back seat.

there's a figure sitting in the right, back seat, posture tight and hands held steadily on their lap.

they're like a blur to him, the way his vision bounces in and out of focus, the figures face like a shadow swept away from the wind, forever changing and taking on the form of something else before being shuffled like a deck of cards.

to which, promptly, are dropped.

fear rises in his stomach.

enderians naturally lived longer than humans, so they were granted consciousness far earlier than any other life form. ranboo rememberd the way his mother would get so serious when talking about conspiracy theories. she'd been a cliche, predictable type. rambling on and on about aliens and how they'd worked with humans in their early stages of life.

she'd tell him tales about encounters with them, how to avoid them, how to talk to them clearer.

'ranboo,' she'd choke, cupping his face in her hands, 'if you are ever, ever taken hostage by those— things—– get angry. get angrier than you've ever been. get furious. they feed off your confusion, and more importantly - fear. if you get angry they'll leave you alone.'

and so he did.

he forced himself back to his adolescence, recollecting how he'd been ignored by his friends and sometimes even family for being half.. something else. he didn't even know what he was, and they were putting him at fault for it!

he recognized the familiar weight on his shoulders and heat in his chest, fingers gripping into the stained fabric of the car, eyes glued onto the entity trying to numb him.

he yelled.

"who are you?"

everything stopped.

the car went dark, the cars rumble came to a close as it stopped rolling on the indefinite road. the wind stopped howling. he was frozen.

the figures face somehow managed to contort, a ripping sound making him wince as blood poured from out of its neck and onto the seat, the figures face tearing its own flesh apart until a smile wrapped around it's entire head, exposing the bone underneath.

it turns to look at him.

ranboo can't move.

ranboo yells again, his vision going dark and muscles tensing as he shouts at a stranger - an entity in the threatening pitch black of his car.

he can't make out his own words or the sounds around him, all he can hear is own hoarse screaming. but even then it only sounds like muffled shouting, unintelligible.

he's been thrown out onto the road, back roaming against the asphalt as something claws at his face. he's still blind.

a hot, white flash obstructs his breathing.

..

there's grass under his feet.

wind on his face.

light on his eyes.

blood on his chest, dropping onto the mint colored grass.

he's on a hill. or, more specifically, a cliff.

he peers down at the valley before him, an effervescent and freeing feeling overtaking him.

for once, he appreciates who he is. he feels like himself again, he knows who he is. what he is.

his movements his own now, known well and practiced.

he steps forward, the sing of the wind caressing trees and birds chirping in his favor propelling him forward as he nears the cliffs edge.

the shoreline daring to venture just a little farther this time gains a laugh from him. it's a nice laugh, not a forced one, not an awkward or angry one, a genuine one. one where happiness and pride bubbles in his throat like a song he's yet to sing.

he knows the words to it, he just has to put them together.

another step. another step. another step.

the dirt is loose. he glances down, taking in a deep breath and enjoying the smell of flowers.

a distant calling of his name doesn't pause him. he acknowledges it sure, but there's no strings attached this time. he doesn't turn back.

'this is it' a voice tells him. or maybe he tells himself. there's no time to figure that out right now.

a higher pitched voice shrieks his name, accompanied by pleads of 'dont do it!', or, 'he's stuck, he doesn't know what to do!'

he knows, you don't have to remind him.

he takes a step once more, feeling nothing underneath him this time.

'wait!'

there's nothing under his feet now.

'ranboo, stop!'

it's cold.

'no!'

for the first time in his life..

'stop!'

ranboo feels weightless.

[auntie-communism]

had a dream last night where it was a holiday event so I went to work to help out (it was an all hands on deck situation) only to find that A. because of the holiday, every store in this region had combined forces to work in some kind of grocery store helm’s deep, and B. we had absolutely no product because the regional produce manager didnt order enough.

to put in perspective how massive this place was, it had at least 2 floors, one of which was primarily a restaurant or cafe. on the main floor, besides being a much much bigger version of our normal grocery layout, there was also a large amount of restaurant/sportsbar type tables, chairs, and tvs in between the checkstands and the rest of the store. Insofar as I could tell, each department had its own back storage room, and ours was off to the side of our department next to an auxiliary warehouse area. On the wall opposite of our department (way the fuck over there) was a sports/hunting section (well, it at least had bows and arrows), something we dont carry. At the very back of this gigastructure was an integrated warehouse, kinda like ikea or costco, and at the furthest corner of that (opposite corner of the structure from our produce department) was a fully modeled faux-super mario 64 stage, that I had to platform through on a time limit at one point using some kind of mario & luigi/2d mario platforming physics which was cool but awful to do in a stage designed for mario 64 platforming. (this is a fucked up dream, after all)

To cap it all off, while I cant speak for the other departments, the gimmick for the produce department was that it had, at least in theory, EVERYTHING. Granted, most of what we had left besides whatever was left of the stuff people actually buy was insanely obscure peppers and squash (and bell peppers, but only because those were far enough away from the produce section that no one was seeing them). but yeah no we had little sections for fucking every kind of produce imaginable, which makes it really funny that our stock room was literally empty because the regional manager didnt order enough of anything for how busy it was.

[oldgooddaysoldgooddays]

225

It's now two mornings in a row that I've locked eyes with Paul Mescal in my neighbourhood right as I'm snot-rocketing into my own glove. I sense pity in his gaze but I could be wrong

More curatorial hell from R who has crossed from the inane (people getting massaged in the show) to the downright unethical (people receiving therapy in the show). I don't know what I did to deserve this line of discussion, and surely as the artist it's MY job to present harebrained concepts? Must I, really, "think about the exhibition as an object in itself"? Must I do institutional critique? And would R still like my institutional critique if it was - as V correctly posited - my critiquing her forcing me into doing institutional critique as a method of institutional critique? Well????

On Tuesday I pour coffee into my Bialetti and realise I bought beans, not grounds. I order espresso, and when I am charged a small order fee, I add a juice I won't drink all at once, and the order is still too small so I add a bunch of other garbage. And they say it's not hard being single

When I see V for the first time in three weeks it is like being shot up with antibiotics after a subtle yet pervasive infection. As always, I hate her momentarily for the reality check she clobbers me with concerning my predictable dating life and wonky food logic, my general sense of myself. I am quick to lose perspective. She waits patiently for me to say all my nutty theories out loud and then masterfully destroys them with, as right wing pundit Ben Shapiro calls it, facts and logic. We eat phô and I cry a lot, in a way I really needed to, and she gets out a new tarot deck she was gifted. I draw The Tower, something something transitional period, something something the old rules aren't working. Then a couple other cards: money and property isn't everything, don't play dirty in order to be right, don't be a victim. All fall on deaf ears with this crybaby. But when your own mind becomes the crazy animation that plays after you win solitaire on a Dell computer, it sure is nice to narrow things down to a couple of stupid cards. Oh and also before I know it I'm booking a second coffee date with the beautiful and possibly secure-attached Senegalese writer from my 5 days on Hinge

Now that China has opened its borders somewhat, a Shanghai collector / museum owner / nightclub magnate visits on Tuesday afternoon and his female companion translates back and forth as he looks around my studio poker-faced. Eventually he, she, V and I settle on my couch and the conversation relaxes. V is right in her generalisation about the Chinese having quiet BDE. This man especially, a major art world figure who never felt the desire to learn English, the ultimate power move. Neither V nor I had known quite the scope of the lockdowns in China, and it is wild. We sit aghast at the accounts of mind-crippling isolation, state-issued food arriving late, being refused freedom without clear logic, fear of expressing dissent or anger. They say one of the greatest joys was sporadically getting one's hands on Coca Cola. 1920s-type statements about 2020. I think about how much Diet Coke I drank in the 2 year period in question and shudder with decadent guilt. V will later say she thought I was having the worst time, but I was enthralled. Enthralled by the man's much younger girlfriend so busy translating Mandarin to English that she is almost a ghost in the room, if ghosts wore fur-lined Monclers and immaculate foundation. Enthralled by the man himself and the near impossibility of connecting with him. Delighted by his lagging laughter when my dumb jokes are relayed, and never quite knowing if they were done justice, or whether they deserved translation. In some ways it's the most peaceful studio visit I've ever had. I explain to them that I have found it hard to collaborate in music, being so used to composing everything I make - this, painting, songs - alone. When we say goodbye and I'm rolling a cigarette the man says, in Mandarin, "you really don't need anybody else, you even make your cigarettes yourself"

Netflix tells me Emily in Paris's new season has aired and so I watch from the beginning to better remember the plot of the thing….realise quickly there is no plot

[pokemon-card-of-the-day]

Pokemon Card of the Day #3029: Xatu (Lost Thunder)

Xatu certainly wasn't as explosive as Natu was. It was never going to get a huge hit off. It could, however, do solid damage from a type that had notable Pokemon that had a Weakness to it for just a Double Colorless Energy. Okay, so it could just do it sometimes, and it was impossible to actually force the condition it required. Xatu still could be really nice if it all worked out in theory.

100 HP wasn't winning any awards on a Stage 1, leaving it vulnerable to decently strong hits. Xatu was going for a targeted KO on specific Pokemon here, going for a favorable Prize trade. The Psychic Weakness meant a little, as something like Naganadel could attack on its own if it wanted to against this. The Retreat Cost was 1, which you'd basically never use since Xatu was only surviving for a turn against control deck in most cases.

Energy Gaze required 2 Colorless Energy. The base damage was poor at 30, but the opponent had to reveal their hand. If any Energy were in there, 60 more damage was added. This was still only useful against something with a Weakness to Psychic, and usually in the SUM-On format where you could boost more with Choice Band. It was there that, if the opponent held an Energy in their hand, you could KO a Marshadow-GX, Buzzwole-GX, or Lucario-GX for 2 Prizes. The sad part was that actually guaranteeing an Energy card in the opponent's hand wasn't really happening, so there was a lot of luck involved.

Psychic Sphere was consistent, but 80 damage was far too low for a Psychic and 2 Colorless Energy at this point.

Xatu wasn't actually that good since it was a Stage 1 that required luck in a certain match-up to be useful. It was very useful indeed when it all fell into place, but if you were really wanting to use something from the evolutionary line, going with Lost March was just the better option. This was only for hardcore Xatu fans that also ran decks running Double Colorless Energy and needed extra help with Psychic-weak Pokemon-GX in the SUM-On format. Highly specific and luck-based for sure.

[thewildwaffle]

Aliens reacting to Humans talking about an online site they refer to as "discord"

(This story now has a part 2)

Zerlix didn’t trust the humans. Sure, they were good to have around, they were strong, smart, adaptable, creative, fierce, and immune to many known poisons and venoms. Having a few on your crew roster almost ensured that the crew and haul would make it safely to its destination. If Zerlix was honest though, all of those “positive traits” had their negative alternatives in the humans as well. Strong? Smart, adaptable and creative? That all just meant they could get into trouble all the easier in new and ever mind-bendingly bizarre ways. Fierce and hard to kill? That’s only comforting as long as they were on your side, and even then… well, stuff happens.

Basically, humans are agents of chaos and destruction wrapped in a friend-shaped cloak.

Not everyone shared Zerlix’s line of thinking though.

No, everyone else seemed to be fooled by the charade the humans were playing. They loved the technology the humans brought with them, or that they helped improve. They loved how big and strong they were and how helpful their larger sizes could be. They, at best, tolerated the pranks and “silly” antics the humans often got caught up in, and at worst, would even join in. They all called Zerlix things like a “nutted sparchroot,” or a “muddy stick” or something like that whenever the whole “humans are crazy” theory was brought up.

“Of course humans are crazy,” they’d say, “that’s what’s so great about them.” or “No, they’re not crazy, it’s just how they do things. It’s not crazy to be different, you know.” Drabble like that. Well, won’t they all feel bashful once Zerlix proved that humans were indeed barmy death-bringers in disguise.

Zerlix made sure to check the audio recorder settings on the comm device one last time. Humans often stopped to chat or take calls in this area of the ship. There’d been so many things overheard before that nearly stopped Zerlix’s lungs in terror. This time, they’d make sure to be ready to record whatever horrifying things the humans were keeping secret when they came by.

In fact, Human John was coming by now. From the sounds of it, he was talking to someone on his comm device. As he entered the alcove and took a seat, Zerlix’s claw hovered over the record button, waiting anxiously for anything that could prove they weren’t crazy.

“Well, I mean I could,” John sat down on one of the available seats. He noticed Zerlix and nodded silently in greeting as he talked. “Well the problem is though that I don’t have a whole lot of time right now. Kind of busy lately, the route to Senbora 6 is kind of a rough go, ya know? All hands on deck about every time I turn around.”

Zerlix pretending to fiddle with the primed comm device to look busy. Being seen hadn’t been part of the plan, but they forgot that humans, with their drag-blasted three cone cell containing eyes, could see in more colors than most, and hiding from them was difficult. Hopefully, Human John would slip up and say something anyway.

“Okay. Okay yeah. No, I get that… Listen, no I totally get it… Well we knew that was going to be the case before. I mean, this is my job, you know? ”

Oh Kazit’s armor, this conversation seemed so drab! And Zerlix was only getting half of it anyway! What a waste. They went to close out the audio recorder, but instead, accidentally started recording. Frewan. If they ended it now, it might start immediate playback and they’d be caught. Well, maybe. In their panic, Zerlix couldn’t remember what settings the recorder was on. Still, it would be easier to delete the recording later than risk having to explain why they were recording the human.

“Look, I know, but there’s nothing I can do about it right now. Maybe if we play something that we can jump out of real quick if need be? Yeah? Cool.” John paused and listened for a while. “Haha, throwback Thursday much? Yeah, we could do that. But you know I suck at being an imposter.”

Wait. What was that? Imposter? Zerlix froze to listen more intently.

“Yeah. Haha, yeah. Sabotaging is really the only thing I can do at that point. I just keep making friends and then have such a hard time killing anyone.”

Zerlix looked down to check. Yes, yes, the recorder was getting this. This was amazing!

“Okay, well jump on Discord, see if we can get a big enough group to do everything through that so we don’t have to type. Ha, yeah... Ok, just make sure if you do invite Katrina, tell her she can’t cheat. I know how she is.”

Zerlix jumped up from the failed hiding spot. The comm device was still recording, but they’d heard enough. Leaving like this probably seemed suspicious to the human, but Zerlix couldn’t just sit and stay any longer. This was big! This was even bigger than just proving they had been right about the humans all along. Well, this new evidence proved they were right about humans all along, but in the worst possible way! Humans were agents of discord and chaos! The ship and the crew were in danger! How many humans were going to “jump on discord” like John said? What a weird way to say that too, but judging an imposter human’s grammar wasn’t a priority right now. They had to get this audio recording to the captain before Human John and whomever he was talking to gathered a group large enough to do any real damage!

“Let’s see anyone try to call me a “nutted sparchroot” now that I can prove the humans are out to get us all,” Zerlix panted, comm device still recording as they ran.

PART 2

[noblecrumpet-dorkvision]

Twists for Humanoid Encounters

How often has your D&D group needed to fight the same group of humanoids in every room? 2d4 hobgoblins in every room of a hobgoblin fortress? 2d4 kuo-toa in every room of the kuo-toa temple? 2d4 bandits in every room of the bandit hideout? Sure, some of these humanoids have “suped-up” versions like hobgoblin captains, kuo-toa whips, and bandit captains, but eventually things will get boring with the same enemies every time and those boss monsters are usually reserved for the boss fight! 

Encounter Twists (1d20)

Here are some ways to make an average group-encounter a bit different. Roll 1d20 to choose randomly or pick from the list below. These tend to be keyed towards an assumption that the enemies are humanoid, but that might not be the case.

(1) Varied Weapons. One of the enemies has a different weapon. For example, if all the thugs have maces, maybe one has a glaive or greatsword. Meanwhile, another uses two daggers instead.

(2) Varied Armor. One of the enemies has different armor than the standard. If the hobgoblins wear chain mail, perhaps one is wearing plate. Maybe one didn’t have time to put on armor and only wields a shield.

(3) Minor Spellcasting. Somehow, one of the enemies has come across the ability to use magic, whether divine or arcane. The creature gains the Magic Initiate feat, thereby gaining a cantrip and 1st-level spell.

(4) Healing Potion. One of the enemies is packing a useful healing potion, usually one appropriate for the players to find at their level in case it falls into their hands. If the creature sees an ally go down, they can give out their potion or use it on themselves.

(5) Other Potion. One of the enemies drinks a potion as the battle starts. Choose randomly from the following (d8): (1) Potion of Giant Strength, (2) Potion of Fire Breath, (3) Potion of Flying, (4) Potion of Growth, (5) Potion of Heroism, (6) Potion of Invisibility, (7) Potion of Invulnerability, or (8) Potion of Speed.

(6) Other Consumable Item. One of the enemies carries a consumable magic item, used when the time is right. The players might be able to snag one if it has multiple uses. Choose randomly from the following (d6): (1) 1d4 beans from a Bag of Beans, (2) 1d4 beads from a Necklace of Fireballs, (3) a vial of Oil of Sharpness, (4) a Gem of Brightness with 1d4+5 charges remaining, (5) a Deck of Illusions with only 1d4+1 cards remaining, or (6) a vial of Oil of Slipperiness.

(7) Class Feature. One of the enemies has experience in a player class, gaining one of the following features chosen at random (d12). Each functions pretty much like the class feature of the same name. These are meant to just give the impression of a class through one, usually simplified feature, rather than all of a class’s unique features.

Bard: Bardic Inspiration: Use a d6.

Barbarian: Rage: Bonus damage at +2.

Cleric: Spellcasting: Knows the Guidance and Sacred Flame cantrips. Can cast 3 spell-levels-worth of spells: either Cure Wounds (1st), Guiding Bolt (1st), Spiritual Weapon (2nd), or Spirit Guardians (3rd). Use their Wisdom modifier for their spellcasting statistics (minimum 13).

Druid: Wild Shape: Choose an animal appropriate to the setting and have it be up to CR 2.

Fighter: Maneuvers: Give them 4 d8s and just choose 1 maneuver for simplicity’s sake.

Monk: Ki: Give them 3 Ki Points and let them gain two unarmed strikes (d4) as a bonus action, or else dodge, disengage, or dash as a bonus action by spending a ki point.

Paladin: Divine Smite and Lay on Hands: Give them 2 1st-level spell slots with which to smite. Also give them 10 points of Lay on Hands.

Ranger: Spellcasting and Fighting Style: They can cast Hunter’s Mark twice per day and gain the Archery or Two-Weapon Fighting styles.

Rogue: Sneak Attack and Cunning Action: Use 2d6 for the Sneak Attack damage.

Sorcerer: Spellcasting and Metamagic: Give them 3 1st-level spell slots, a cantrip, and a 1st-level spell eligible for the Twinned Spell Metamagic feature. They can use Twinned Spell on one of their spells up to 3 times.

Warlock: Eldritch Blast and Pact Magic: Give them the Eldritch Blast cantrip, then 1 3rd-level spell slot (assume a second slot was used already). Then give them the spells Hex, Witch Bolt, or Hunger of Hadar.  Use their Charisma modifier for their spellcasting statistics (minimum 13).

Wizard: Spellcasting: Knows the Minor Illusion cantrip and one damaging cantrip. Can cast 4 spell-levels-worth of spells: either Fog Cloud (1st), Magic Missile (1st), Flaming Sphere (2nd), Web (2nd), Fireball (3rd), or Lightning Bolt (3rd). Use their Intelligence modifier for their spellcasting statistics (minimum 13).

(8) Mount. One of the enemies has an appropriate mount, offering them greater mobility and the offensive/defensive features of an additional enemy, if it has attacks.

(9) Pet. The creatures have a pet, captured creature, or summoned magical servant of an appropriate challenge rating. This could be a beast, a monster, an undead (if a necromancer is present), an elemental (if a wizard or druid is present), a fiend (if a warlock or cleric is present), or a fey (if a druid is present).

(10) Brute Creature. One of the enemies has the maximum amount of hit points based on their hit point calculation. The creature rolls twice for damage, taking the better of the two rolls.

(11) Meek Creature. One of the enemies has half the normal amount of hit points based on their hit point calculation. The creature rolls twice for damage, taking the worse of the two rolls.

(12) Unique Species/Race. One of the enemies is of a different species. For instance, a group of Bandits might have a Dwarf or Bugbear in their ranks. You can grant an NPC creature some traits of the new species/race (like Dwarven Resilience), or you can just use statistics of a different monster (like the Bugbear).

(13) Infiltrator. One of the enemies is secretly a monster in disguise. Ones that fit the bill might include: a Doppelganger, an Intellect Devourer, a Succubus/Incubus, a Lycanthrope, a Yuan-Ti Pureblood, a Yochlol (if among drow), a Barghest (if among goblins), an Oni, a Hag, a Slaad, a Rakshasa, or a Couatl. For more powerful characters, you could use an ancient metallic dragon or a Deva.

(14) Sickness. One of the enemies is suffering from a random disease. Creatures that come within 5 feet of them have a chance of contracting the disease. The creature should be displaying symptoms in order for the players to effectively make decisions about this in combat. In theory, though, other enemies might be asymptomatic, so smart players should maintain distance with all the enemies.

(15) Unusual Surprise. If the players took precautions and surprised the enemies, half of them were unusually alert and are not surprised. If the enemies were not initially surprised, half of them were far from prepared and are instead surprised even if the players took no precautions. Perhaps they were daydreaming, sleeping, getting armor on, or tripped.

(16) Feat. One of the enemies has a random feat chosen from the following (d20, reroll on 16+). Some may require them to change their weapons or armor, and are marked with an asterisk: (1) Alert, (2) Athlete, (3) Charger, (4) Crossbow Expert*, (5) Defensive Duelist*, (6) Dual Wielder*, (7) Great Weapon Master*, (8)   Heavy Armor Master*, (9) Mobile, (10) Mage Slayer, (11) Polearm Master*, (12) Sentinel, (13) Sharpshooter*, (14) Shield Master*, or (15) Tavern Brawler.

(17) Unusual Talent. One of the enemies has an exceptional statistic, different from others of its kind. Choose one of the creature’s abilities that is on the low end and make it comparable or better than their strongest ability. For instance, if such creatures normally have high Strength, give this one high Dexterity. If they are typically low in Intelligence, give them a high Intelligence and let them use smarter tactics. Give them unique weapons or spells if appropriate.

(18) Damage Rider. One of the enemies deals additional damage of a random type using one of their weapons. This may come from a magic oil or poison applied to their weapon, or perhaps their own arcane or divine magic. Don’t use a magic weapon as players will be able to use it once the battle is over (unless you planned to give such an item as treasure in the first place). Their weapon deals a bonus 1d6 damage of a type chosen at random from the following: (1) acid, (2) cold, (3) fire, (4) lightning, (5) necrotic, (6) poison, (7) psychic, or (8) radiant.

(19) Siege Weapon. One of the enemies is manning a siege weapon of your choice against the players. A ballista is usually a good option, since you usually don’t want a cannon in your players’ hands and a catapult is better for non-moving targets. You could also create a magical siege weapon, like a turret that casts Burning Hands, Scorching Ray, Ice Knife, Acid Arrow, or Lightning Bolt.

(20) Elemental Shield. One of the enemies has immunity to one damage type and resistance to all other damage until they are dealt damage of an opposed damage type, which destroys this magical shield. Pair the damage types like this: cold and fire, radiant and necrotic, acid and lightning (think of it like earth vs. air). Alternatively, one of the creatures is naturally blessed with immunity to one damage type. Give the creature some sort of visual cue for this to clue the players in.

Characteristic Twists

Another way to vary humanoid creatures is by giving them interesting personality traits or interesting physical features. Roll or choose from the Appearance Twists table to make one of the humanoids look more distinct. Roll or choose from the Personality Twists table to make one of the humanoids act differently or more interesting, sometimes in a way the players can exploit in combat.

Appearance Twists (d20)

Creature has...

Outlandish hairdo

Interesting headgear/hat

Worn trophies collected from enemies

Personalized armor or clothes

Prominent visible tattoos or war paint

Prominent visible scar

A cape or other dramatic attire

Prominent facial jewelry (or facial hair if they have it)

Weapon made from unique material or uniquely decorated

A meaningful symbol prominently displayed

Unusual physical features for their species

Eyewear (glasses, goggles, mask, or eyepatch)

Prominent visible birthmark

Unusual attire for class/profession

Missing or prosthetic limb

Trinket (roll on existing table) worn and visible

Worn piece of valuable treasure

Worn a memento from a lover

Worn animal hide

Appearance altered magically or through a curse

Personality Twists (d20)

Creature is...

Suffering from a form of Long-Term Madness (roll on existing table)

Overly confident, willingly enters dangerous combat situations

Overly cautious, always readies their action into a reaction

Intimidating, can frighten a target as a bonus action with a successful Charisma contest

Sadistic, aiming for weak targets

Defiant, challenges the strongest foes first

Overly dramatic, draws a lot of attention

Automysophobic, can't stand getting dirty

Irrationally terrified of something in the players' arsenal (magic, animals, fire, etc)

Biased against one of the players' species and focuses on them

Angered or terrified by mages, attacks them first

Flirtacious with one of the players, is effectively charmed by the player

Witty, taunts foes with banter

Indecisive to the point where they sometimes only take the Dodge action

Loyal to their leader to the death

Edgy and mysterious

Best friends with one of their allies, always tries to Help them in combat

Cowardly, becomes frightened and attempts to Disengage or Hide if damaged

Honorable, refuses to fight with an unfair advantage

Drunk and suffers from the Poisoned condition

[fruit-that-walks]

As much as we love the Simon/Rosh/Ayub friendship I don't actually think we appreciate it enough. 

First, the scene after Simon has that fight with August. As much as Rosh and Ayub are on his side of that fight, they know that that is not who Simon is. They understand that Hillerska is changing Simon, and not in a positive way. The reason they get mad at him is because they have lost sight of the Simon that they befriended, that they love. 

The question I have here though, is whether or not this silent treatment was intended to be permanent. Like yes they came through when the video was leaked, but what if things went on as normal? Surely their friendship is strong enough that a simple fight won't break them up. 

I have this theory, that I kind of stole from a book I was reading a while ago (When We Were Magic, it's a really good book about a group of girls who use magic. Also, queer), about friendship. You know that thing about Theseus' ship? About how there's a ship (and in the boat sense, not in the get together sense) that gets repaired, but at what point does the ship cease to be the ship it once was and become a different ship? If all of the parts are repaired, but it is done gradually and the structure is thus the same, is it still the same ship? If there's only a plank of the original ship left, is that plank the one plank that keeps the ship the same ship it originally was? And so on and so forth. Every person has a ship, and every time something happens that even remotely affects their personality, think of it as their ship being "repaired". Whether that's just a nail, like a change in speech patterns, or its something as big as a sail, like starting up a new hobby that would one day lead to a career. The job of friends, is to ensure that all the repairs are for the better. That the planks are of better quality and not the shitty kind, that the steering wheel is being replaced with a brand new one instead of one from Craigslist that they got for three dollars. And if a bad change is inevitable, that the impact is as small as possible. How can we make it so that only one plank is replaced rather than three, for example.

Okay, I know that I've steered away from the original topic at hand, but there's a point to this, I swear.  So Simon's ship was altered a little with the issue with August. He was never the type of person to beat someone up, whatever the issue was that was bothering him. Rosh and Ayub saw that this change was for the worse, and that he needed to see that. So they decided to give him the silent treatment for a while, telling him that yes, while that deck may look shiny, wait until you use it a while, and it starts to peel off. They want him to realize this, and to put back the original deck again. 

But then the video gets leaked. And this time, they know it's not just an anchor, or a deck. It's the whole skeletal framework of the ship, the thing that holds the ship together in the first place. It's relatively okay- for now. It's getting damaged from the mold or carpenter ants or whatever it is that destroys wood frameworks, but it's still standing. But they know it's about to get real worse. And that their job is to stop it from getting damaged any more than it already is, to at least try to exterminate the mold. They see that the deck doesn't matter if the framework is falling apart. They see that Simon needs them at that moment. 

They genuinely care about Simon, and I'm sure it works vice versa as well. They feel comfortable around one another, but there's also the fact that they know what's best for each other and they're not afraid to show that. 

[nikkoliferous]

Phase One: Avengers (Part Two)

Apparently I had so much to comment on this crappy book that I had to break this up into two parts (you can read part one here). No, I have nothing to say for myself. Lol

Let’s continue.

Clint Barton and Loki’s hand-picked strike team were in a stolen Quinjet with a faked S.H.I.E.L.D. call sign, 26-Bravo. That got them close enough that by the time the air-traffic officer on the Helicarrier knew something was wrong, it was already too late.

Whoa whoa whoa. I thought you said Loki didn’t care about the details. I thought you said such things were beneath him. Make up your mind.

With a last heave and twist, she freed herself from the fallen beam and ran. At that moment, the Hulk turned and saw her. She vaulted up a stairway and onto the next level. The Hulk swiped at the stairway and shredded it into scrap metal. Loki had gotten what he wanted. He must have been trying to time it so he could manipulate Bruce into becoming the Hulk right as his soldiers came to attack the Helicarrier. The Hulk would do at least as much damage from the inside as the rogue Quinjet could do from the outside.

Yes. Yes, he did. Lol

Natasha kept running, and the Hulk came right behind her. For a moment, she thought she’d lost him, but then he came at her out of the shadows, roaring. He was like walking rage, a single-minded engine of destruction. She shot a hole in the pipe over his head. Steam shot out of it into the Hulk’s eyes, stopping him for just the moment she needed to get a head start. She ran as fast as she could, but she knew she wasn’t going to stay away from him for long. He came after her, smashing through bulkheads and doorways like they weren’t even there and roaring the whole time.

Mood, though.

Steve got to the edge of the turbine mount about the same time as Tony. “I’m here!” he called out.

“Good,” Tony said, dropping into view and hovering in the Iron Man armor to survey the wreckage. He had the suit on, and Steve could hear his voice through the earbud microphone all S.H.I.E.L.D. personnel wore. At least that channel was still intact; if they lost communications, they’d be done for.

Convenient. Clint would absolutely know this, which means either 1) he's incompetent, 2) he's not as mind-controlled as we think, or 3) Loki allowed/arranged for his own team's semi-failure.Take your pick.

“What’s it look like in there?” Tony asked.

“It seems to run on some form of electricity,” Steve said.

Tony was shoving loose huge pieces of debris that prevented the turbine blades from rotating. “Well, you’re not wrong,” he said.

Steve fumed. He wasn’t here for technical support. But that was all he could do at the moment.

Ironic for Steve to call out Tony for being useless without his suit when Steve is apparently useless at anything other than beating people up. Lol

Tony stood inside the turbine housing, looking at the blades. He’d cleared most of the debris jamming the rotors. “Even if I clear the rotors,” he said, “this thing won’t reengage without a jump. I’m going to have to get in there and push.”

“If that thing gets up to speed, you’ll get shredded,” Steve said.

Hey hey hey now, I thought Tony wasn't the type of guy to sacrifice himself??

The Hulk stomped around the flight deck, roaring. He saw Thor and swung a fist twice the size of Thor’s head. Thor caught it in both hands, straining to hold both the Hulk’s arm and his attention. “We are not your enemies, Banner,” he grunted. “Try to think!”

Now, where have I heard that before...?

In answer, the Hulk punched him through the wall.

Jealous.

Thor got up and watched the Hulk coming after him. Now this was a fight! He held out a hand, waiting for Mjolnir to return to him. Mjolnir smashed through another wall and reached Thor’s hand just as the charging Hulk came within striking distance.

What's a little bloodlust between friends, amirite?

The Hulk caught the hammer, and a fierce grin spread over his face… then he toppled backward and Mjolnir pinned him to the floor of the hangar.

None but I can lift Mjolnir, Thor thought. Not even this giant.

Yes, yes. You're very special, Thor. We're all super impressed, promise.

“You like this?” Coulson asked, meaning the gun. “We started working on the prototype after you sent the Destroyer. Even I don’t know what it does.” He powered it up, and rings along its barrel glowed bright orange. “Want to find out?”

But Loki wasn’t there in front of him. Thor saw it too late to do anything. That Loki was an illusion… and the real Loki was behind Coulson.

Lokiception.

“You lack conviction,” Coulson said. He did not move from where he sat against the wall. Blood trickled at the corner of his mouth, and the enormous gun lay uselessly across his lap.

Of all the things Coulson might have said, this was perhaps the one Loki expected least. I have moved worlds out of conviction, he thought. Made bargains with beings who snuff out planets as an afterthought. “I don’t think I…”

"bargains"

“Tasha,” he said. “How many agents did I—?”

“Don’t,” she said. “Don’t do that to yourself, Clint. This is Loki. This is monsters and magic and nothing we were ever trained for.” Better than maybe anyone on the Helicarrier, Natasha Romanoff knew you couldn’t blame yourself for things you did while you were brainwashed. All you could do was try to heal and get things right the next time.

OH? DO TELL.

“Yeah, takes us a while to get any traction, I’ll give you that one,” Tony said. “But let’s do a head count here. Your brother the demigod, a Super-Soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend, a man with breathtaking anger-management issues, a couple of master assassins… and you, big fella, you’ve managed to piss off every single one of them.”

“That was the plan,” Loki said with a grin.

“Not a great plan,” Tony said.

YOU'RE RIGHT, TONY. IT'S AN OBJECTIVELY TERRIBLE PLAN. NOW ASK YOURSELF WHY HE WOULD DO THAT ON PURPOSE.

“You’re missing the point!” he said, and his tone got sharper. “There’s no throne, there is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it’s too much for us… but it’s all on you. Because if we can’t protect the Earth, you can be sure we’ll avenge it.”

Weeeeeell...

With those last words, he tapped Tony on the chest with his scepter, just has he had Hawkeye and Dr. Selvig. Nothing happened. The Arc Reactor in Tony’s chest countered the scepter’s effect.

Loki tried it again. “This usually works.…”

“Well,” Tony said, “best-laid plans. You know the saying.”

Uncomfortable with mild swear words and dick jokes, I see. Lol

Look at this!” Thor shouted, holding Loki and forcing him to gaze out over the destruction in the city. “You think this madness will end with your rule?”

“It’s too late,” Loki said. Thor thought he was beginning to understand what he had done. “It’s too late to stop it.”

“No,” Thor said. “We can. Together.”

Loki looked him in the eye… and then betrayed Thor again, stabbing him in the side with a knife hidden in his sleeve. Thor dropped to the ground, clutching the wound. “Sentiment,” Loki said mockingly.

OH MY GOD. HE'S MOCKING HIMSELF, YOU ABSOLUTE KNUCKLEHEAD. I swear to god, this author sat down and went, "Hmm. How can I systematically erase any and all complexity this character possesses so he's as generic a villain as possible?"

CASE IN POINT:

On a bridge, Cap huddled behind a destroyed car with the Black Widow and Hawkeye. “Lots of civilians trapped up there,” Hawkeye said, indicating the nearby buildings. A flight of Chitauri went over, and Cap noticed something different about one of them.

“Loki,” he said. He was shooting at the civilians fleeing through the streets. “They’re fish in a barrel down there.”

It can be admittedly hard to tell because most shots of the Chitauri vehicles firing on people are from too far away to tell who's piloting... but I checked the clips from the Battle of NY and the only person Loki can definitively be seen firing at is Natasha. On another Chitauri whatever-you-call-them. Not even aiming for the street.

Thor was still watching the Chitauri zipping overhead. “I have unfinished business with Loki.”

“Yeah?” Hawkeye said. “Get in line.”

“Save it,” Steve said. “Loki’s going to keep this fight focused on us, and that’s what we need. Otherwise those things could run wild. We’ve got Stark up on top—”

Almost as if... according to plan...

Look, I have historically not bought into the full "Loki formed the Avengers so he could lose on purpose" theory because I feel that it contradicts the canon explanation that he was being influenced by the sceptre. But... you'd have to be an absolute moron to think he wasn't sabotaging himself, whether accidentally or on purpose. I suppose one could argue that just because it was amplifying his negative emotions, that doesn't necessarily mean it prevented him from working against his "allies". But if it wasn't affecting his actions at all, I don't know why they'd bother to confirm the theory as canon.

Also, like... according to this book, Loki is somehow targeting civilians and not targeting civilians at the same time ?? lmao

“Dr. Banner,” Steve said. “Now might be a really good time for you to get angry.”

Bruce was already walking toward the Leviathan. “That’s my secret, Captain,” he said over his shoulder. “I’m always angry.”

Same, tbh.

Thor reached the top of the Empire State Building and lifted Mjolnir. Storm clouds gathered and lightning struck down, hundreds of bolts reaching for Mjolnir. Thor turned the Empire State Building’s iconic spire into a lightning rod, gathering the force of the elements into it. Then he thrust Mjolnir in the direction of the portal. All the energy he had built up blazed out in a single forking bolt. It struck and destroyed every single Chitauri between the Empire State Building and the portal itself. Hundreds of them exploded and tumbled from the sky at once, including several of the Leviathans that tumbled down to smash into buildings below.

...so why didn't Thor just keep doing this for the rest of the battle? Too draining, or not exciting enough? Lol

Satisfied, Thor nodded and glanced over at the Hulk. Perhaps the scales were evened from their last fight against each other on the Helicarrier—

The Hulk shot out his left fist and smashed Thor all the way across the block-long gallery. Then it was his turn to look satisfied.

Jealous. Again.

Maybe that was just Loki, but Steve was starting to feel like the Chitauri were going to absorb every punch the Avengers could throw. They had to close that portal, or nothing was going to stop the invasion.

Well then. It sure is fortunate that Loki allowed Selvig to install a failsafe, huh?

Fury stood and listened to the World Security Council explain that they had decided to take the operation out of his hands. They were going to use a nuclear missile to destroy the Tesseract and close the portal—but at the cost of untold civilian lives. Fury protested as strongly as he could and one of the councilors cut him off. “Director Fury. The Council has made a decision.”

These crazy motherfuckers would have killed so many more people than Loki it's not even funny.

...and tbh, it probably wouldn't even have destroyed the Tesseract, so they would have killed them for literally no reason too.

The Hulk paused, confused.

“You are, all of you, beneath me!” Loki raged.

Not yet, sir, but I would very much like to be. 😏

She knelt next to him and said, “It’s not your fault. You didn’t know what you were doing.”

Selvig digested this for a moment and then said, “Actually I think I did. I built in a safety to cut the power source.”

Of note and as alluded to previously:

1) The mind control over Barton and Selvig was not absolute either; therefore, if they are not responsible for their actions over the course of this movie, Loki is not responsible for his either.

2) If The Other could hear everything Loki was up to, it's very likely that Loki could hear everything Barton and Selvig were up to as well. Meaning that, at a minimum, he knew about the failsafe and did nothing about it.

The missile had a lot of momentum built up, and Tony’s Mark 7 suit was not operating at full capacity after the amount of energy he’d expended in the battle already. It was no easy task to get the missile angled up sharply enough to clear the tallest buildings in Midtown—especially Stark Tower. That was where the missile seemed to want to go. So, Tony thought, the World Security Council is jealous of me, too.

Look, I get that he's mostly just being witty, but seriously... this dude is out here accusing Loki of being an egomaniac? Lol

He got underneath the missile and angled it upward, straining against its stabilizers, which tried to keep it on course. But slowly he forced it up, and once he got its warhead pointed at an angle, pushing it into a steeper climb got easier. A little.

Steve Rogers’s voice broke his concentration. “Stark, you know that’s a one-way trip?”

So... you're admitting you were wrong, then? 🙃

The Avengers looked up. On the roof of Stark Tower, Natasha said, “Come on, Stark.”

They saw the explosion through the portal, brilliant as a new sun. There was no way Tony could have survived that.

I was wrong about him, Steve thought. When the time came, he did make the sacrificial play.

Thanks, Steve. That's really all I wanted.

Loki had just gotten himself put back together enough to get out of the hole in the floor. Painfully he dragged himself toward the door. Never had a mortal damaged him as much as that green monster. He would be healing for a long time.

He's literally in better shape now than when he came through the portal. And the author made zero mention of his health there.

But heal he would, and then he would have his revenge. Even though the portal had collapsed and he had lost the Tesseract. Even though his Chitauri army was destroyed. Loki would show the so-called Avengers they never should have opposed him.

Raise your hand if you watched Avengers and thought Loki was thinking about revenge right after getting Hulk-smashed. Why aren't any of you raising your hands??

Seriously, there are two emotions I felt from Loki at the end of Avengers Assemble: relief and anxiety. I have no idea why Alex Irvine is so intent on turning him into a boring, one-dimensional villain, but it made this book absolutely insufferable to read.

Anyway, that's it! I hope you all found this as entertaining and cathartic as I did. Lol

↩️ Back to Part One