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#its fine i just needed to yell lmao
okidenshi · 2 years
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It is absurd to me that 2 bedroom apartments are often only like... 100-200 bucks more than 1 bedroom apartments.... like girl i know some couples would be fine in a 1bedroom appt but like, if the difference is only that much, why not just go for a 2 bedroom at that point :/ Us single occupancy bitches still exist like that ain’t fair
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hirazuki · 3 months
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Hira's year in medical review:
Me, August 2023: *experiencing extreme fatigue, fainting spells, mood swings, sudden and drastic increase of suicidal thoughts, and intense hair loss*
P.A: let's do blood work
Me: ok!
Bloodwork: *normal except for prolactin*
Doctor: sometimes that's a fluke so let's retest
Me: ok
Bloodwork: *exactly the same*
Doctor: your values are higher than normal range, but not high enough to be in range for a pituitary gland tumor.
(P.A: go see an endocrinologist and get an MRI, that might be indicative of a pituitary gland tumor.) <- bless this person and only this person in particular
Endocrinologist, seen earliest available which was January 2024: *wants to retest blood work instead of ordering an MRI*
Me: ... ok
Bloodwork: *the same*
Me: can we please do an MRI now?
Endocrinologist: Well. Your values are above the normal limit, but it's highly unlikely that's it's a pituitary gland tumor because they are not high enough for that. Let's retest blood work in four months.
Me: ...................... ok
Bloodwork, May 2024: *THE SAME*
Endocrinologist: hmm, I recommend an MRI
Me: *gesturing angrily*
MRI, June 2024: 🎉 pituitary gland tumor 🎉
Doctor, when I went in for something else: I doubt your endocrinologist will want to treat that, we typically don't treat adenomas that small
Endocrinologist, who took 3 weeks to review my results: I recommend just monitoring. It's highly unlikely that this is causing your symptoms, it's too small for that.
Me, July 2024:
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#like im sorry but 'highly unlikely' =/= 'impossible'#sure it might be rare but like thats not a reason not to check it out???#idk wtf is with this resistance to treat it#like SO WHAT if in the majority of people a microadenoma of that size doesnt cause symptoms?? all individuals are different#like y'all didnt even think i had one because it was atypical presentation so maybe that's the case with my symptoms too#what would it hurt to do meds for it?#if i do meds to shrink it and my symptoms resolve; great!#if i do meds and my symptoms dont resolve? thats also great! it means we've ruled one thing out#and can continue exploring why THE FUCK my body is acting the way it is#why wouldn't you want to rule things out if you can?????#the healthcare in this country is so fucking broken#its been almost a year since i went in for my symptoms and still no resolution#ive lost about 2/3 of my hair at this point. ill probably have to chop it off if it keeps going like this#not even gonna talk about the fatigue#nor gonna talk about my sis's current experience where an untreated infection (not for lack of her trying to get it treated!)#is potentially now developing into something more serious. like kidney stuff. 🙃#(and they apparently have no record of the labs she submitted 🙃🙃 so she's gotta go do it all over again otherwise they wont give her meds)#it's okay. its just nausea to the point she hasn't really eaten in days and constant pain and dizziness. difficulty standing#but its fine right lmao#ughhh#dont mind me im just frustrated beyond everything and need to yell into my little corner of the void#withoutwords
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dragon-steven-forever · 11 months
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God I need to make like. An FAQ. Even tho I haven't gotten many questions at all I still feel the need to make like some kind of intro post. I wish I was better at promoting my own au bc I genuinely love this project but in comparison to some of the bigger Aus (WHICH I LOVE. SERIOUSLY THIS COMMUNITY IS SO COOL YOU ALL ARE AMAZING) I am but a shrimp. How do I draw Steven good??? Asking for a friend. I am thankful for the handful of ppl I do have though. Shoutout to the few fans I got ya'll are superstars.
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happywitch416 · 1 year
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I had to have some major freak out last night but today has been fine. We got this. Moose is doing good, really great all things considered. We've got a plan(s) in place. Now we are just waiting on other people to get themselves together and thats a them problem.
And cause I refuse to let him lose all his brains, we read the opening of the Odyssey today, did math, art, writing practice, and went to the library. Tomorrow we are going to do guitar lessons.
Once I get the damned thing tuned.
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stargirlrchive · 10 days
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simon getting jealous over another coworker flirting with his work wife ? 👀
i had tew much fun writing this lmao
one — two — three — four
you don’t know how it happened, one second there was a recruit standing before you, and in the next you were shoved against the stretcher, tactical pants and panties pooled between your legs as simon bent you over to fuck his thick cock into you.
well—you do know how it happened, but it was so quick it left you dizzy.
anderson had been brought in by two other recruits, limping and grunting as they plopped him onto the medical bed. a deep gash on his upper thigh from one of the other recruits knicking his skin during practice.
it was deep, and angry—your fingers itching to patch him up as you ripped open a bigger hole on his tactical pants to get the wound cleaned. “you shouldn’t have let it get this far, anderson.”
“it’s sanders.”
you blinked up at him, a small frown on your lips, “pardon?”
“it’s sanders—not anderson.”
heat bloomed on your cheeks, the newest batch of recruits had been here for four months already and you were positive you’d only ever addressed him incorrectly. you cleared your throat, embarrassed. “i’m sorry—”
“it’s no big deal, i’m sure you can make up for it.”
your nerves flared as he cut you off, at what the grimy smirk on his face was insinuating. you couldn’t hold back the grimace on your face as you worked on patching him up and getting him out of your work space.
through the annoyance and blood pumping in your ears, you missed the big bulk of your lieutenant sliding into your space.
sander’s voice dropped lower, in what you assumed was his way of being seductive, “don’t be like that, honey.”
you forced yourself to not be overly rough with the way you were cleaning the gash on his thigh, fingers working methodically on his wound.
“i can show you a real good time.” and then his fingers were threading through your hair, the shock causing you to jostle as he tangled his fingers in the root of your hair to tug your neck upwards.
your heart pumped in anger, ready to yell at him to fuck off—to not fucking touch you. but simon beat you to it.
“get y’r fucking hands off my wife.”
the growl in simon’s voice had you tensing yet melting at the same time. shivers running down your back and heat coiling in your belly.
sanders scrambled upwards, back tense and eyes wide. you stumbled backwards, simon steadying you by placing a thick hand on your waist and pulling you to him.
“lieutenant riley—i had no idea, she didn’t-i didn’t know she was your wife.”
simon’s chest was practically vibrating with his anger, snarling down at the man in front of you like a rabid dog. heat bloomed between your thighs, clit aching at his proximity, at the way he protected you.
“i d’nt give two fucks what you know—get the fuck out of here.”
you had never seen someone leave your quarters faster, sanders left running like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs.
your body sagged into simon’s, relief filling you from the inside out as his fingers trailed over you. searching.
“you alright, sweetheart?”
you nod, heart thrumming and trying to wrap your head around what happened, “i need words, baby. talk to me. did he—did he do anything, touch you more than he did—”
you turned in his arms, face burying into his chest to breathe in his scent. “m’fine, he didn’t-i just can’t believe he had the nerve.”
simon’s eyes raked over you behind his skull mask. assessing, trying to make sure you really were alright. “i’m fine, simon. i swear. and feeling so much better because you’re here.”
he took a few more seconds to look you over, calloused finger gripping your throat gently and rubbing his gloved thumb over your jaw.
“almost fuckin’ killed him f’r touching you.”
a small laughed bubbled in your throat, leaning into him, “i’m almost positive he pissed himself. never seen you look so scary.”
his fingers loosened on your throat gently, “did i scare you?” his voice was awfully raw, almost vulnerable.
“no. thought it was hot, honestly.”
one of his fingers twitched gently, pressing into you more firmly and you felt his cock. hard and full against your belly as he walked the two of you backwards. “yeah?”
“mhm, would’ve let you bent me over right in front of him if he hadn’t run off.”
simon’s rough voice caused heat to coil in your belly as he turned you over. pressing your back down to bend you over as his cock pressed against your ass, “m’not someone who likes to share, sweetheart.”
your back arched into him, pressing your ass harder against his cock before he pinned your back down with a heavy palm and used his other one to unbutton your pants. “think you need to make that clear for everyone else then.”
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yammpi3 · 21 days
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𝑰 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖. // 𝑾𝑪: 2.2𝑲
— feat. disassembly drone N x worker drone reader
synopsis. Since disassembly drones need oil to keep from overheating they kill other drones to consume it. But.. ever since the alliance between Disassembly and Worker Drones its been a bit difficult to acquire..It’s not a problem for V to randomly kill someone off but it’s a different situation for N now that his views have changed. AKA…reader supplies him with oil :DD
— content warning. Nothing 18+ just a few kisses, neck biting and N being in pain.. gulp?
— authors note. I fear this x reader is a bit..cringe then again that might just be me overthinking it..ANYWAYS tried my best for this, and still have no idea how to write for a robot. (N might be a little mischaracterized I’m not ENTIRELY sure)
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At the end of science class, just when everyone was packing up to leave, you noticed N fidgeting more than normal at his desk.
 
"Is everything okay, N?" you asked.
 
He laughed nervously. "Who, me? Pshaw, never better!" But when he spoke, he looked anywhere but at you and the others.
Thad snickered. "Maybe his circuits are loose again." Lizzy giggled. "Lmao, he probably fried something.” Just as V was about to comment on his behavior..
N got up from his chair abruptly; he swayed unsteadily before catching himself upon another classroom desk.
 
By the time you registered what was going on, N had already ducked out of the classroom door, stumbling down the hall. "N, wait!" you called after him, hurrying to catch up. N was unsteady on his feet, swerving from side to side as he tried to put distance between the both of you.
 
His limbs shook with every step he took.
"G-Gotta...g-get a-away..." he muttered, though you weren't sure if he was even aware you could hear him. His eyes flickered erratically, barely being able to focus straight ahead as he tried to get away.
 
You picked up your pace, power walking down the corridor after him. "Slow down!!" you yelled out, but N was quicker, and before you knew it, when you reached the next corner, you lost him completely.
Your concern for N grew by the minute, so you started tracking him down since something was clearly wrong, beyond a normal glitch.
 
An hour had already passed since you last saw N, yet here he was in the maintenance unit stumbling blindly, crashing into something every few steps.
 
"S-sorry!" he slurred after bumping into a support beam for the third time. An unnatural static fuzzed the edges of his voice. Stubbornly, he scrambled back on his feet and lurched forward without seeing where he went.
 
Was he malfunctioning? But his murder drone programming should have kept him sharp, no?? Seeing him this disoriented was alarming.
 
You trailed him at a distance, hiding behind a variety of things as he walked on ahead. Where was he heading in such a panic? His vents were roaring torrents by now, and visible condensation soaked his frame.
 
Finally, he collapsed behind a supply crate, crawling the last few feet. Had he sensed you following? No, his optics were unfocused, so he couldn't have had.
 
Gingerly, you peeked around the crate to see N weakly clawing at his chest clearly in pain.
 
If you didn't act fast, he would shut down permanently. Steeling your nerves, you crawled to his side.
 
"N? Hey..hey! It's me, Y/N. Are you okay??”
 
When you gently called his name, N got startled so badly that his claws scraped sparks from the metal flooring he sat upon. His optics flashed wildly before settling on your face with a look of panic. "Y-Y-Y/N! S-sorry, but I don’t think you should be near me right now…”
 
N let out an alarmed wheeze that trailed off into a pained whine. It took visible effort for his optics to focus on you. You could tell he was losing some sort of control over his strength, but why??
"You don’t look so good..”
 
N broke into a hacking series of rushed laughter that ended in a groan. "Me? Pssh, n-no way! I'm t-totally fine, like I said earlier. Now please just leave me, yeah?” He waved dismissively, or at least tried to, but his attempt ended up flailing limply.
 
He knew he wasn't doing a great job at reassuring you when you glared at him.
"N-nothing to worry that pretty l-little processor of yours over, really.”
 
N's dismissive act was crumbling faster than his resolve. Another hacking laugh turned into a groan as his eyes started to flicker erratically once again.
 
"N, please. You're clearly not alright." You took his flailing claw gently in your hands. His plating was so hot it almost burned to the touch.
 
A whine slipped, “Crap..crap. It h-hurts,
Y/N. M-My core, it h-hurts so F̵̬̏́̏͆̀͝ų̸͙͋̿̃̌͋́̈́̆͑̕͠c̶̜̜̼̥͓̚k̷̫̺̝̈́̀̿̇͐̐͑ḭ̸̧̻̞̻͚̳̘̩̣͋̀̃́̔̊̋̚ň̵̞̪̯̼̟̗̩͈̖́g̸̩̤̩̼̘̪̀́͊͗̋͐́̇ much."
 
You've never seen N this vulnerable before…
"What can I do to help? There must be something." N trembled, fighting some inner battle. Finally, he met your gaze, his optics showing an agony of want behind the discomfort.
 
"T-there is s-something, b-but I shouldn't..." Strangely, another sound intermingled with the strain in his voice now.
Was that...hunger?
 
Stroking his plating gently, hoping to soothe, you pressed, "Please, tell me what you need." His vents hitched wildly. Then, in a strained whisper, he cracked.
"Y-your oil...I ne-need…it."
 
A shiver visibly ran through his frame. His optics darkened as they focused intently on your physic, more so your neck and wrist.
 
"I..." he began weakly, then stopped to swallow. His claws clenched tightly as if fighting the urge. You waited patiently for him to continue, showing concern but no sense of alarm.
 
After a long pause, N dragged his gaze with an effort to meet your face once more.
“T-tell me to stop," he whispered, his fangs peeking out as he talked.
 
"I so badly n-need it, but I don't w-want to hurt you.” His claws lifted toward your face but stopped only by his wavering will. You knew this would be the only way for him to cool down.
 
You looked deeply into N's eyes, past the haze of glitches that overtook his screen.
"I trust you," you said calmly without fear. His breathing became more ragged at your words.
 
In a flash, his restraint broke—but instead of lunging at your throat as you'd expected, his claws tangled in the fabric of your shirt, yanking you flush against his overheated frame. You gasped at the contact, feeling the waves of heat pouring off of him.
 
N buried his face in the crook of your neck, fangs tantalizingly. "P-please..." he stammered once more, sounding close to genuine tears. Raising a hand, you gently clasped the back of his head, threading your fingers through his silver hair.
 
"Take what you need," you told him firmly yet tenderly..After yet another hesitant pause, his screen displayed an X. Then, with a grunt of gratification, his fangs smoothly penetrated the sensitive wiring of your neck.
 
Your breath became unsteady as N's fangs pierced you. It didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would—just a little bit of a pinch. His hands gripped your shoulders for support as he drank deeply, allowing the oily fluid to course through his system.
 
For several moments the only sounds were his gulping intakes and your own measured breaths; you kept still so as not to disturb him. You watched as the pained lines on his face slowly eased, his eyes returning to normal. His plating, which was boiling hot only moments ago, cooled down to a much safer temperature against you.
 
N withdrew his fangs from your neck, making a small trickle of oil leak from your wound.
 
He leaned back in hastily, swiping his tongue along the twin marks. You shuddered at the foreign yet not unpleasant sensation. But N paused, a flushed look appearing on his screen. “Ah g-geez, is this w-weird?”
 
He glanced away, clearly embarrassed  "What I mean to say is, um, my saliva can help the wounds close up faster? If, uh, you're okay with my germy mouth touching the injury I c-caused? No funny business, I swear! J-just bros being bros, p-patching each other…um up.”
 
N winced, realizing how that sounded. "N-not that we're actually b-bros, unless you want to be? Biscuits. Just—just let me do this, kay?”
With your consenting nod, N gave a short awkward chuckle and leaned back in. His tongue swiping over the wound. It began to tingle as the mark he had left slowly began to close up.
 
"It's strange to think your spit has healing properties," you remarked softly, not wanting to break the intimacy of the moment. N hummed in agreement, laving one last swipe across the bite mark before drawing back to assess his handiwork. His optics flicked up to meet yours, searching for any sign of discomfort.
 
"How does it feel? Are you in any pain?" he asked, his tone laced with concern despite his own drained state. You shifted experimentally. "Stop worrying. Just a slight tingling.“
 
N searched your face anxiously. "Are you sure? Nothing else? No dizziness or discomfort?" His optics roved your features, taking in every subtle reaction. When you reassured him again that all was well, the tension melted from his shoulders—only to be replaced with guilt.
 
"Y/N, I could have seriously hurt you," he said quietly, horror creeping into his tone. "My systems went haywire; I had no control. If I had bitten down any harder..." He shuddered, unable to complete the thought.
 
"But you didn't," you said firmly. "You fought off the urge just enough to get the help you needed. I trusted you, N." He shook his head sadly. "Your trust may be misplaced in me. The overheating....what if next time I can't—can’t stop.”
 
N shuddered again at the dark thought. Seeking to ease his distress, you shot him a playful smile. "Well, if it happens again, we're in this together. At least now I have a cool vampire drone friend!! The whole sucking my oil thing was pretty vampirish.”
 
He cracked a hesitant chuckle. "Yeah, maybe I'll sparkle in the sun too." Feeling bold, you leaned in with a faux-dramatic voice, "I vant to suck your coolant..."
 
N actually snickered at that. You beamed, glad to lift his spirit, even if it was only for a brief moment. His smile faded as reality set back in.
 
"But seriously, what if next time I really hurt someone?” On impulse, you threw your arms around him in a hug.
 
N's eyes widened as you suddenly hugged him close. For a moment he sat stiffly, caught off guard. Then slowly, oh so carefully, his arms came up to return the embrace.
 
"Y/N...if anything happened to you because of me, I don't know what I'd do," he said quietly against your shoulder. You squeezed him tighter for reassurance. "Hey, it'll take a lot more than some murder instinct to take me out. Have a little more faith in me, will you? Stop being so edgy.”
 
“Edgy?" N scoffed, "Sorry, nearly ripping your throat out put me in a gloomy mood."
 
"Ripping my throat out?” You echoed with a wry grin. "Well, luckily that didn’t happen, did it?”
 
N huffed, “Maybe. But what if next time I lose it?"
 
You opened your mouth to respond, but he quickly shushed you.
 
“You just leaped right in like it was nothing. Do you have any idea how badly this could've ended?" He gestured vaguely to the drying wound on your neck.
 
"You drones are so..so fragile. One wrong move and I could've—" He cut off, unable to say the word. His arms flexed unconsciously, as if longing to wrap around something and squeeze. To protect, or destroy? Even he wasn't sure.
"You'd never hurt me, N. I believe in-"
 
Your words halted as he glanced up, his eyes searching yours with raw, wavering emotion. An urge welled within you, sprung from compassion more than reason. You leaned in to press your lips to his in a soft kiss.
 
"Mmmph?!" N made a muffled sound of surprise, his body locking up stiffly. Your tongue briefly caught the tang of the lingering oil before you pulled back with a slight grimace.
 
His faceplate shone a distressed yellow blush. "I-I'm so sorry, I should have wiped my mouth better!“ he stammered.
 
But you simply smiled and leaned in again, pressing your lips gently to his once more. Then, slowly, he began to relax into the kiss.
 
His screen switched to a loading screen. In that moment, all his train of thought derailed off a cliff. N's screen flickered back online, and one of his hands floated up to gently touch his mouth, eyes wide and staring blankly.
 
"Bwuh-wha...you...kissem—I mean, I kissem-no, we...kissed?" he sputtered
 
"We k-kissed. You k-kissed me," he whispered, his optics shrinking to pinpoints before dilating wide again. A nervous giggling burst out of him.
 
"Oh biscuits, what d-does this mean? Are we like..” his tone lowered to a soft whisper.
“Dating n-now?”
 
"Well, uh, I guess you could say we're kind of sort of datingish now," you replied bashfully. "If-if you want to be my boyfriend, that is."
 
N's entire face lit up. "Boyfriend..Awhh Y/N!! Id love that." He hugged you tightly, lifting you off the ground and spinning you around in excitement.
 
"N set you down gently, his optics still shining with unbridled joy. However, a hint of seriousness crept into his expression as he looked at you intently.
 
"This doesn't mean I'm not mad at you for what you did," he said, his voice low and eyes narrowed slightly. "You could have been seriously hurt, or worse. You really scared me back there."
 
You sighed and nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. Next time, I'll call V or someone else—I won't try to handle things on my own and potentially get myself killed." You paused, then added with a wry smile, "I promise."
N's stern look softened, and he hummed contentedly. "Good!" Reaching out, he took your hand in his larger one and gave it a gentle squeeze.
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© yammpi3 2024. All work belongs to @yammpi3. You can repost if you want to support my blog/writing! Please don't modify, translate, or plagiarize in any way on ANY platform.
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lovelykil · 9 months
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Hi! Love you so much can you do killua x fem reader one shot where reader is wearing a fitted shirt and killuas lowkey distracted🙈 (bros like 😧) LMAO TYSM
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distracted─
: ➛ killua x reader older ver.
cw; boobs (drools)
note; giggles
in a frustrated panic, you search all over your room for a specific shirt, throwing shirts in the air, all onto your bed and all over the floor. You pull out your phone then set it back in your pocket, sighing with a hint of annoyance.
You had about half an hour, but if you didn't find this stupid shirt now you would be here all day. After awhile of endlessly looking you sulk in a corner, rubbing your face.
"oh my gosh where the hell is my shirt.." You whined, sitting up. It was at this time you heard a knock on your door and then a familiar face coming through it.
"y/n are you ready? I'm leaving in 10." Your ride, kurapika, spoke softly but as well coming off strictly as he was adamant about time. You made eye contact with the blonde, your pupils burning into his. You were very much not ready.
he looked away uncomfortably, clearing his throat with a chin scratch.
"right.. just tell me when you're ready." He closed your door shortly after. You heard the door click and you groan into your hands, shaking your head.
"I'm going to kill myself I swear." You set your hands down, to look once more amongst the piles of clothing. You scanned the pile slowly, eliminating the shirts one by one checking to make sure you didn't just accidentally miss the fabric.
And to your surprise you found it, barely missed it too. It was hidden away from a shirt that had a resemblance to the specific shirt except that shirt was a different color so of course you dismissed it. You never been so happy, lunging forward to retrieve the shirt with a squeal.
You spent no time stripping your current shirt to put on the destined clothing you picked out for the hangout.
"hey idiot kurapika said to hurry─"
"huh?" You turned to see a stunned killua at your doorway. The shirt you wore hugged your curves, outlining every inch of your torso, you could see his blue eyes largen at the sight of you. You turned back to your body mirror to fix your shirt, "oh its just you kil."
"who'd you expect?" he leaned against the frame with his arms crossed, watching you carefully. You smile with a scoff, "sassy much?" he didnt say anything but a blush found its way on his pale face, turning away. He rolls his eyes "whatever" he left your room shortly after, his face a mess.
You wondered for a second, but the thought left your mind, kurapika was waiting for you so you needed to hurry the hell up. You grabbed your bag of necessities, throwing it over your shoulder, showered yourself in your favorite perfume and finally ran out of your room. Gon waved to you as he saw you exit your room, he was eating a bowl of ramen and had noodles dangling from his mouth making you snicker.
kil on the other hand was still in a daze, distracted by you. He was so conflicted right now. He reached for an apple to bitterly bite into. You approached the albino after saying bye to his best friend "I'm leaving now'" you smile up at him. He gazed down at you from his height, wanting to come off as unphased as possible but he couldn't help but stare at your chest area, he chokes on his apple.
"oh shit, killua are you oka-"
"YES, I'm.. FINE" he shouts, his face fuming.
you tuck your arms beneath your breasts with a frown. "don't need to yell, asshole." The hunter was now a tomato, why would you do such a gesture, tucking your arms to make your.. mounds more visible to him?! He knew you didn't do it on purpose but.. fuck
they looked so soft, like marshmallows he wanted so badly to lay his head on them and just close his eyes as you held him near.
the thought of that made him feel like leorio, he mentally face palmed. god stop thinking such things, you creep.
"well bye!"
"wait huh─" you pecked his cheek before walking toward the front door, killua turned quickly and shouted in a rush.
"wait where are you even going??"
"to hang out with friends?"
"HUHH, IN THAT??"
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whenmemorydies · 2 months
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See this?
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Carmy is about to pull this shit. He is really about to go in and likely blow up one of the only good relationships he has left from The Beef. After yelling at Tina from the pass. After stressing out everyone and their fucking dog cos he thinks this is acceptable behaviour if its all in service of a star?
This part of 3x03 Doors was such a jagged scene for me because of a few things (including what I've said above). What else got me:
Tina is someone Carmy knows, that Carmy loves (go back to their scene in 1x08 Braciole talking about Mikey. Go back to Carmy's soft "hey Tina you go ahead, you take the night off okay? I got you.");
Tina is an older woman of colour who has made the commitment to skill up so that she can work at The Bear after working at The Beef. Carmy has seen the work she has put in but in this moment, he pays none of it any mind. Imagine being T. Imagine how that would feel. Imagine how it would feel knowing all we know after watching Tina's journey in 3x06 Napkins. The thing is, Carmy doesn't need to know all of T's backstory to know his behaviour is unacceptable. The fact that he knows some of it and proceeds to act in this way is just more evidence of his white privilege showing its ass.
Carmy does not have the self reflexivity here to look at his young, white, male self yelling at this older WOC and see how fucked this is: how he's become another white guy in a litany of white men barking at workers of colour, not seeing Tina for the whole human she is but reducing her to a means of production. The racial dynamics on this show are so evident but don't get talked about nearly enough. I know the writers have crafted those dynamics on purpose because as beautiful a character as Carmy is, he's also a product of his environment as a white chef trained in a highly racially segregated field. This has repercussions for his relationships in season 3, particularly with the BIPOC characters in his life. @november-rising speaks about Carmy's behaviour in relation to Black women's experiences of love and professional recognition devastatingly here. Read their post and the reblogs.
While this shit made me so mad this season, it was also in character - as I've said here - for a white guy trained in fine dining to revert to established patterns of behaviour. Though, I'm gonna need the writers of the show to show US that they did this on purpose and have Carmy ATONE for this shit in season 4. Otherwise, what kind of redemption arc will this man have? This shit is hurtful to the BIPOC characters and BIPOC viewers of this show in no small part because white men the world over have a LONG history of using BIPOC people as a means of production and as a means of production alone. If you're unsure about this, please go look up the Transatlantic slave trade. Please go look up the history of colonial indentured labour. Please go look up The British East India Company. Please look up the forced labour regime in the modern prison industrial complex. Please go read a fucking book. And no I'm not saying Carmy is responsible for the slave trade (LMAO please hold fire if this is where your mind is going). I'm saying BIPOC folks carry with us a long ass history, an intergenerational history of this shit. But guess who else does too? White folks. So don't act like they dont.
This shit is also hurtful because we know how respectful Carmy can be. We’ve seen him in seasons 1 & 2. We know he knows what being a practical ally looks like (even if he may not have the language to name what he was doing) when he made sure to bring the staff of The Beef with him to The Bear and invested in them accordingly. We know he loves and respects them, none more so than Sydney. But there were so many times where he did not act like it in season 3. And when folks have got histories - not just personal but cultural too - as long and as loaded as we ALL do, actions account for a lot. What you do is the shorthand for who you are in the world, whether you like it or not.
Ok back to the scene.
Who comes in and simultaneously saves Carmy's ass and ANOTHER of his relationships? Who protects Tina and keeps the kitchen from exploding AGAIN?
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Who supervises her sous chef like a fucking pro?
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Sydney. Sydney. Sydney.
And who knows that he's in the presence of greatness but doesn't know how to articulate it cos he's not integrated, not by a fucking long shot. Who needs to attend some anti-racism training along with Al-Anon and therapy (so he can get the benefit of understanding his role in this system and get a better understanding of his own mind)?
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Yeah you Carmen, you.
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Better get on that shit before you lose the woman who is the beat to your whole heart another means of production to a chef who's going to pay her better, give Syd insurance from the jump and total creative control. Just saying.
143 notes · View notes
taintedcigs · 11 months
Text
GETAWAY CAR — rockstar!e.m. x f!reader
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CHAPTER FOUR: TWO NOTES AND A HEART DOWN
← prev chapter // next chapter →
✦ summary: in which eddie takes you for a trip down memory lane and you finally read the note. (wc: 9.4k+)
✦ warnings — ANGSTANGSTANGST, argument </33, yelling, crying, mentions of sa (nothing happens) like its not brought up AT ALL it's insinuated like the tiniest bit, mean!eddie, kinda asshole-ish? pining and slowburn, strong language!, mentions of alc*hol and drg use and a toxic/ab*sive relationship, food!!
✦ pairings — rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader, past billy hargrove x fem!reader, eddie munson x chrissy cunningham
✦ authors note — sorry for the wait but i hope a 9.4k chapter makes up for it omg! also feel free to chat with me in the asks abt this series (and anything tbh) pls!! not proof-read pls ignore mistakes!! ive been struggling with this chapter A LOT. its not at all how i wanted to write it but i was just tired of holding it off :// so hope u guys enjoy and this is like the last fluffy chapter lmao its all angst from here on (well kinda)
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His nose skimmed against yours, a mere breath away from the temptation of your soft lips, everything you’ve been wanting on the tip of your fingers.
But you couldn’t do that. It didn’t matter if he was sorry or if it was casual. Chrissy still existed. And he still kissed her in front of you.
Friends, is what he promised. And this was going to ruin it.  
“Please, look at me,” he pleaded, you could hear the desperation in his voice. Your eyes blinked open slowly, how close he was to you had your eyes widened. 
"I-I don't even know what's wrong with me," he breathed out. "I feel like...I feel like I'm losing my goddamn mind, and I don’t even know what just happened,” he said in a strained voice. 
“I-I just… I look at you, and I’m absolutely terrified.” He gulped. “It terrifies me that—” He stopped himself before he could spew out more. 
It terrifies me how much I would do for you, he wishes to say, but he doesn’t, he can’t. 
“I can’t—we shouldn’t be doing this." He stammered, quick to lean away from you.
“I-I know” You agreed hesitantly, because you knew this was a bad idea. But your stomach burned at the thought that he wanted to not kiss you because of Chrissy. Was he actually going to be with her now? Did he lie about things being casual? 
“Do you…” You took a deep breath, “do you like her?” Your voice was strained, it was barely above a whisper, but Eddie heard you loud and clear. 
Your heart rate picked up quicker than you intended it to, you leaned further away from him, your mouth flooded with a bitter taste. 
“No!” His eyes widened, he answered it so quickly that the idea that he was lying sank further into you. 
“No, I-I don’t know… I just-” He breathed. “We agreed to being friends… We should keep it that way, and I can’t keep doing this,” he stammered. “I need to stop hanging on to the past.” 
“but, fuck. Each time, I try to, you just… prevent it!” He admitted, without realizing the weight his words held, your brows pinched quickly. 
“I prevent it?” You enunciated with an exasperated chuckle. 
“Jesus fucking Christ,” you mumbled under your breath as your body turned away from him, elbows holding onto the edge of the pool as you swiftly lifted yourself up. 
Eddie just looked at you, baffled. “Do you realize how unbelievable you are?” You spat, looking down on him with your hair still wet and your dress uncomfortably stuck to your body. 
“What are you talking about?” He gave you a puzzled look.
“Nevermind,” you huffed, facing away from him.
Eddie groaned, following you as he exited the pool swiftly. “Why do you even care?” He asked, breathless. Taking another step closer toward you. 
“I don’t,” you lied with a gulp. You were a bad liar. And Eddie knew that. 
“You don’t?” He narrowed his gaze, giving you a second chance to open up, but he knew you were too stubborn.
“I don’t.”
He huffed. “Fine.”
“That…” He paused, “was a mistake.” You could feel that horrible ache in your chest return. Sure it was a bad idea, but a mistake?
Did he really hate you that much?
“What does that mean?” You swallowed hard. Your heart was breaking the more he spoke, you wanted nothing more than to shut him up. 
“It means we-I shouldn’t have done that,” he corrected himself with a tinge of disappointment in his tone. But what exactly did he mean by that? Did he mean that the almost-kiss was a mistake because it could ruin your potential friendship? Or did he mean it in a way that suggested he liked Chrissy?
Those words were enough to have your heart drop into your gut; your whirlwind of thoughts were mocking you, the idea that Eddie had a chance of liking her was eating away at you, and all you could do was stand there and watch it all unravel. 
You parted your lips to speak, but all that could come out was a weak mutter of, “okay.” You turned your back on him quickly, picking up your jacket from the ground. You put it on in a struggle, fighting back the tears that were pricking your eyes. 
“What are you doing?” He asked with a puzzled look, and you refused to look back at him before your feet picked up. He didn’t seem to realize why his answer truly crushed you.
“I-I’m going home.” Your voice was barely audible; there was a lump sitting in your throat, causing your breathing to stammer.
“With what exactly?” He huffed, following behind you. 
“I don’t know,” you muttered with a roll of your eyes. “I’ll figure it out… I always do, don’t I?” You shrugged. 
“Don’t be ridiculous, I won’t let you walk alone like this. You could catch a cold, or something could happen to you, Pinky." His voice was laced with concern, brows furrowed as he hurried to your side.
“I don’t care,” you muttered with an emotionless expression.
“I do!” 
“Do you?”
“Of course I do!” He spat. “Please, don’t do something stupid and reckless. I can take you home,” he mumbled with a huff. There was no fucking way he’d let you walk home alone. 
“And I have a towel in my car,” he added, you slightly huffed. It was chilly, your dress was soaking, and he was right. There was no way you could get home without him. At least until you were willing to freeze off or get hauled by whatever was roaming in the forest. 
You followed him to the car with a simple nod, Eddie still failed to notice why you had gotten so upset, not realizing the implications his words held. 
-
By the time you got into the car, you were shivering, faintly muttering a ‘Thanks’ to Eddie as he wrapped the towel around you, brows creasing with worry, but he didn’t know what to say to you. 
Usually, he wouldn’t have let it go; he would’ve tried to get it out of you and ask you if you were okay, but when you were this upset, it was no use. 
The ride was silent except for the faint sound of Eddie’s mixtape filling the space between the two of you. He had asked if you had anything specific you wanted to listen to, but you shut him off with a faint shake of your head. 
Your heart was aching. Like he had just ripped open your chest and taken it without a care, not noticing how tight he had been squeezing and releasing it. As if he were toying with it. 
And you felt nauseous. You weren’t sure if it was because you didn’t get a chance to eat all day or because of that mocking thought in your head that told you that Eddie wanted Chrissy.  
Once your stomach grumbled, your question was quickly answered, your cheeks heated up as you crossed your arms against your chest in an attempt to shut it up. Eddie gave you a slight chuckle. “Munchies?” He chuckled. “Do you wanna get something to eat?” He asked with a reassuring smile. 
“I just wanna go home,” you grumbled as your gaze refused to meet his. “C’mon,” he muttered with a huff. “Do you even have anything to eat at home?” He asked all-knowingly. You shook your head, you didn’t; your fridge was empty; it was late, so you couldn’t get any groceries; not to mention, your messy kitchen was in no condition to cook. 
“Are burgers still your favorite food?” Your face unintentionally lit up at that; he was definitely thinking about Benny’s, and your mouth-watered just at the idea of their cheeseburgers. 
“Benny’s?” You asked with an involuntary smile on your cheeks, and Eddie swallowed a deep breath. That curve of your goddamn plump lips was driving him crazy. 
“Yeah, do you want to go?” He muttered slowly. “O-okay,” you mumbled. 
First the Wheeler House, then Billy’s stupid camaro, then the pool, this goddamn van, that mixtape, and now Benny's... this whole day had been a nostalgic mind fuck for you. You couldn’t complain, though; no matter how upset his words made you, you were still so pathetically happy to spend some time with him, ecstatic that he didn’t let you go. 
And so was Eddie. That’s why he had been holding his tongue back; he wanted to know why you cared so much about Chrissy. Sure, what she did with Billy was horrible. But it didn’t make sense. There had to be something he didn’t know.  
By the time you guys arrived at Benny's, it was past midnight, so, the place wasn’t packed, of course, but surprisingly, there were still a lot of tables besides the two of you. Eddie let out an ‘Aha!’ sound once his eyes caught the booth that was nestled in the corner. 
The same one the two of you always shared. The white light loomed over its padded, dark maroon seat, and you slid onto it with a huff. Your senses were immediately greeted by the mouthwatering aroma of toasted buns. The air was infused with a disgusting smell of frying oil, but all of it smelled irresistible to your growling stomach. 
Once the two of you got situated, Benny was quick to rush to your side. “Welcome to Benny’s, what can I get you—” 
"Oh my god!" Benny's eyes widened, his face breaking into a wide grin. "Didn't expect to see you! Jesus, how long has it been?" He chuckled, his memory working overtime.
A smile adorned your face, Benny had always been nice to you and to Eddie, giving you one too many free meals, always telling you that it was not an issue despite your protests, knowing of your absentee parents, just like the rest of the town did. 
“Very long,” you added with a chuckle, “missed your cheeseburgers.” You pouted. 
"Yeah?" Benny's excitement was palpable. "Mmhmm, nowhere in New York does it as good as Benny's," you hummed sweetly.
"Now, you're just butterin' me up!" Benny dismissed with a chuckle, eliciting a warm smile from you.
"But, New York, huh?" Benny inquired, raising an intrigued brow. "I've seen this one around, a lot, even last week." His finger pointed toward Eddie, prompting your brows to furrow.
Last week? 
“So that's why you weren’t with him.” He added, realization dawning on his face. Eddie was quick to shoot a painful gaze toward you, one that almost said, ‘no, she wasn’t with me because she left me’, You didn’t know how it was possible to share a language just through your shared gaze, but it had you physically gulping. 
“Uh-uh, yeah,” you mumbled, your gaze avoiding Eddie’s. 
“I gotta say though…” He leaned down, almost like he was telling the two of you a secret, “It’s really nice seeing the two of you together, again.” Benny said with a sly smirk.
“‘Bout damn time y’all got together,” He teased further. 
Your eyes widened in unison, both sets of cheeks warming before you spoke up. 
“Oh, no—” You were quick to dismiss with your hands.
“We’re not—” Eddie joined in your protests.
“So, what can I get for you, lovebirds?” He hummed casually, ignoring both of your protests. Your eyes locked before both of you shyly avoided each other’s gaze. “The usual?” 
“Uh-uh, yeah," Eddie grumbled, suddenly more interested in the wooden table. 
When Benny turned toward you, “same for her, but with extra pickles.” Eddie said almost automatically, your brows pinched together and Eddie mentally cursed himself, “I-I mean… if that’s still your order…” His words smushed together, cheeks quick to heat crimson red. 
“It-it is," you mumbled. 
“Alright, comin’ right up,” he threw a wink at the two of you, clueless of the awkwardness apparent in the air. 
It was stupid, all this back and forth all day. You weren’t kids anymore; you should have been able to just be friends and hang out, not fight. Yet, somehow, it had spiraled into a seemingly impossible situation.
Talking it out wasn’t going to do anything. If the two of you wanted any chance to salvage whatever your relationship was, you needed to talk about the bigger picture; everything needed to be spilled out. But neither of you wanted to do that. 
Unspoken feelings were lingering, and none of you knew when they would boil over. Both of you desperately wanted to cling to the promise of being friends and make the most of it. 
There were a lot of things you could say to him; you could choose to talk about Chrissy, you could choose to talk about L.A.; hell, you could choose to talk about his nerdy game, but your curiosity got the best of you, and before you could help it, the words spilled out of your mouth. “What were you doing here last week?” 
Eddie was almost taken aback by your question, not expecting you to be curious about him again after icing him out for so long. “I like coming here,” he shrugged. “Whenever I’m in Hawkins, I drop by, you know, to write some stuff.”
“Here?” Your face scrunched, finding it hard to believe that a greasy diner could ever be inspiring. 
“Yeah,” he chuckled, “most of our second album was produced in this bad boy.” 
"Are you serious?” Your brows raised, “and the rest of the band is just okay following you here?" You narrowed your gaze playfully, your hands finding a resting place on the worn wooden table.
Eddie’s mouth twitched with a smile. “Yeah, actually, they’ve gotten pretty used to it,” he confessed, “you-uh… I don’t know if you ever got to listen to the second one-”
"I did," you interrupted, voice resolute.
“Y-you did?”
“Of course.”
Eddie hesitated before asking, "What did you think of it?"
“Great record, are you kidding me? It had such a unique sound… You know, like, a timeless quality that makes it stand out?” You said excitedly, and he nodded with a raised brow, “that much?” He asked hesitantly.
“I’m not kidding, Eddie. You know how I don’t pull punches with music; if it wasn’t good, I’d tell you in a heartbeat.”
"Which one's your favorite?" Eddie asked, his curiosity piqued.
You pondered for a second before answering, "oh, definitely Aurora!"
Eddie's shaggy bangs fell onto his forehead as he leaned closer, listening intently. "I mean, 'I just kinda died for you, you just kinda stared at me' is genius," you said, your voice filled with admiration. You didn't dare look him in the eyes.
"And really, really sad," you continued, a hint of melancholy in your tone. "The idea that you could give the whole world to someone, to the point where you describe it as dying, and they don’t even see it... it sounds awfully painful." You gulped, your eyes fixed on the worn wooden table. You weren’t stupid; you knew why it was named Aurora; you knew what the lyrics were alluding to.
His car. The same car that the two of you drove around in. The same car drove the two of you out of Hawkins. 
You knew he liked you way before he let you on, and you wish you knew. 
Maybe if you weren’t dating that douchebag, maybe if Eddie said something sooner, maybe if everything that happened when the two of you left didn’t happen… Maybe just maybe, the two of you’d be together now. 
Maybe if the timing was just right, it wouldn’t be like this; he wouldn’t have whatever he had with Chrissy. You wouldn’t have been in New York. 
But what were you supposed to say? What could you say that would change all of this? Even if you told him about what Chrissy did, even if you explained why you had to leave him in L.A., there was no use. The truth couldn't turn back time. You two had ventured down different paths, and it was painfully evident.
He wasn’t the Eddie you knew, and you weren’t the Pinky he knew; it was too fucking late. 
Eddie's mouth hung open in surprise; he hadn't expected you to delve into the song's meaning like this. Aurora was one of the heaviest songs he had ever written, and he held a special attachment to it. The label and the rest of the band had embraced it, which was surprising since they usually rejected his heartbreak songs, wanting more of that unbridled rage. 
He didn’t answer you; there was a weird tension between the two of you again, so you diffused it with, “but kinda lame that you decided to name a song after your car,” while eyeing Eddie to gauge his reaction.
Eddie chuckled. “Oh, bite me,” he teased, "but yeah, that one was also written here, in that same spot you were sitting.”
“Shut up!” You said, hand playfully reaching out to nudge him. 
"And to your question... I can't tell you why I was here last week," Eddie confessed, his voice carrying a hint of mystery.
Your stomach twisted at that, and you didn't know how many more punch-in-the-gut revelations you could handle today. "Why- uhh- why not?" You asked hesitantly, your words stuttering over simple syllables.
"Because then I'd be spoiling the note, dummy," he said, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
A deep breath of relief escaped your stomach, and you chuckled. God, he was a douche. "Wait... so does that mean... I have a song in my pocket?"
"Not exactly."
"I'm the first one to see it, huh?" You asked excitedly, hand teasingly dipping into your pocket.
"You and the rest of the band," Eddie huffed, offering a sheepish grin.
You gave him a quick glare. “You know I could leak this to the press and make millions, right? No more dealing with rude customers, and no more nine to five hours stuck in a record shop?”
He narrowed his gaze. "You can't get shit for that," he mockingly retorted.
"What?" You frowned.
"Yeah, it's basically like the first chorus and some gibberish notes, it's worthless," Eddie explained.
You pouted. "Aww, damn it."
"I'm kidding, I'm excited to read it,” you reassured with a wink, “you know… Maybe I could give you some notes on it? Review it?" You suggested.
“Didn’t know you were a musician.”
“Rude!” You huffed, “I may not be a musician, rockstar. But I sell records for a living. I can promise you, I listened to many more records than you did this year.” You said with a playful smirk.
"How's that like?" Eddie asked curiously, his deep brown eyes resembling longing and curiosity.
You leaned back against the cushioned booth, letting out a wistful sigh. "Working at a record store? A rollercoaster,” you chuckled, “lame in some ways, but also incredibly fascinating. New York's a whole different world compared to Hawkins."
Eddie couldn't help but study your face as you spoke. He noticed the faint traces of insecurity in the way you held yourself—an air of loneliness that came with moving away from everyone you knew and your family leaving you.
"But also, it took me a while to get used to it," you continued. "Nancy and Jonathan used to visit me a lot; they've really helped me adjust.”
“And you know, of course, Robin and Steve, too,” you murmured.
Eddie’s brows shot up at that. So everyone but him. 
It was a sting he couldn't quite shake, burning at his skin, that you decided to abandon him but were fine with everyone else, including Steve. 
Your absence in his life had left a void he couldn't fill, ever.
Yet, here you were, replacing him like it was nothing. 
Eddie knew he had no right to be jealous; you two were just friends, right? But it ate away at him; that feeling seeped through him, even though you were never his to begin with.
His face burned, and his jaw clenched involuntarily. He could almost feel the taste of bitter jealousy in his mouth, considering how it was overtaking his senses. “Steve?” He questioned; gaze seeping through you, an unbrittled rage ready to tip at any moment. 
You didn’t seem to notice it, though. For someone who was usually very perceptive, it flew right by you—that slight tick in his jaw, the way his fists curled, the storm raging beneath the surface.
“Yeah,” you murmured, his head turned away from you, gaze fixed on anything but your face. The other corners of the burger place was suddenly very interesting to him as he grappled with his own emotions.
“It’s pretty crowded in here, right?” you remarked, trying to draw Eddie into the conversation and gauge his mood.
“Uh-huh,” Eddie replied, his gaze remained distant, thoughts elsewhere.
Concern etched across your face as you pressed further, “Uh, are you okay?” Something seemed to be bothering Eddie, and you couldn't pin-point what it was.
“‘M fine,” he dismissed with a wave of his hands. 
He had to distract you and do something else because he was being super fucking weird, and you weren’t dumb; you could read him like a book. 
He didn’t want that awkwardness or tension to reappear; he wanted to talk to you freely, he couldn’t let his insecurities ruin this for him. 
Eddie’s attention turned back to you,  “is that what you want to do with your life?” his brows raised, “The record store, I mean.” He didn’t want to sound rude, he just wanted to know more.
“I don’t know… I never had much time to think about it.” You gave him a small smile, shaking your head gently, “also, I can’t really afford to think about it anyway.”
“But what do you want to do?” He probed.
“Anything concerning art… I mean I’d love to be a tattoo artist, too. That’s the likely path I’m going down, dunno if the salary is good enough, though.” You shrugged, “but you know what I’d love to be?” Eddie leaned closer, his eagerness clear. 
“What?” He asked, genuinely intrigued.
“Someone came in like a month ago, this bearded guy with lots of tattoos… We had a new album coming to our store that day, and he wanted to see them,” you mumbled with a warm smile, eyes glistening with a dreamy glow. “Then he told me about how he was a tattoo artist, but helped make some of the cover art for that album, and then something just like clicked in me.”
“I used to draw with the hope that maybe it could connect with someone, you know, like it did with me… I spent half of my childhood drawing and listening to music as an outlet. Whenever my parents left, whenever they were absent in my life despite ‘being there’, or whenever they had a screaming match, plates thrown at each other, the first thing I did was sketch, anything, on the notebook.” You mumbled, “or I listened to a record, and I let it consume me, in the hopes that it would drive me away from reality, diffuse the pain, even for a split second, and it worked,” you said with a simple smile. 
Eddie hung on to your every word, his gaze never wavering, admiring that creative spirit shining in you. “Art and music shift the world in the best way possible, and maybe it is dramatic but it also saves lives in a way, you know, by helping you get through something, or making you forget. And that’s my biggest wish… to have my art be important to someone, to make them feel like they’re not alone, in any way possible. So when I saw how that guy combined music and art like that, I thought, this is fucking perfect, this is what I need to do.” 
Eddie’s brows pinched together, “why haven’t you done it?” he asked, his voice a soothing lilt that could melt any doubts away. He could listen to you talk about your passions for hours, the way your eyes glistened with hope, that little quirk of your brow did when you found something interesting, it was heavenly to him. 
“C’mon Eds, be realistic,” you murmured sadly. “Half the people that work for a good record company or with a good band have fancy art degrees, they have connections, they have the money, the time to do it. No one’s going to want a nobody who doesn’t even have a college degree from a small town.” Your lips pressed into a thin line.
“Bullshit,” he spat quickly, dismissing the way you so quickly diminished yourself, “I was the trailer trash of Hawkins, and look what happened,” he encouraged in a harsh but also a warm manner, leaning closer. 
“Yeah, but you’re also a guy, Eddie.” Your voice wavered as you pointed out, “t-they have different expectations for women who don’t have those connections, or don’t come from like insanely rich parents… If you know what I mean,” you said with disgusted frowning upon your face, chill running down your spine. 
Eddie immediately picked it up, his face growing to one of concern, “W-wait-” his voice quivered, the color drained from his face quickly, you immediately knew what he was implying and shook your head, “no, no, not me! But I heard lots of stories in New York, it’s just disgusting,” your face scrunched. 
“That’s awful,” Eddie’s jaw clenched in anger, he knew there were a lot of scumbags in the industry, and it pissed him off that he could do nothing about it. He already felt guilty enough that he didn’t realize what a narcissistic asshole Billy really was, he wanted to help any way he could. 
And then, like a sudden light bulb went off in his head, an idea illuminated his mind. “Have I ever told you that our record company is in need of a new art director?” He pouted teasingly. 
Your eyebrows shot up as a giggle escaped your lips. "You're funny," you said, playfully skeptical.
Eddie, ever earnest, replied, "I'm serious."
“I-I can't do that," you said shyly, your fingers toying with the hem of your dress.
Eddie leaned in, and retorted with a, “and why not?"
“It-it feels wrong, and you don’t even know if I’d be good-“ you hesitated, not fully convinced if this was a good idea.
“Bullshit,” Eddie countered firmly, a small smile gracing his lips. “I know how great your art is, and I know how much you care about music, the way you describe it is exactly the reason why I love it so much.” Eddie always took you seriously and encouraged you about your dreams, no matter how unrealistic it was. 
“You know what you said earlier about how you wanted your art to matter to someone?” You nodded, eyes glistening with hope. 
“Your art is important to me, Pinky. The ones you sketched in your notebooks, is what helped me write some of my lyrics. The drawings you made when you were bored in class, the ones I have hung up on my wall still at the trailer… they mean so much to me,” he said in a hushed voice, he dragged his arm on the table, quick to point to the tattoo on his forearm. “This tattoo, is what helped with Corroded Coffin’s symbol bats, you do realize that, right?”
Skeptical, you scoffed, "you guys always had bats as your thing."
 “True,” he agreed, “but your design helped bring it to life.” He shrugged, “and you know the band better than anyone, maybe you could help us with our next album cover, too. I don’t think I could find someone more perfect for the job.” Eddie shrugged and smiled warmly.
“But-”
Your protests were gently silenced by Eddie, who insisted with a soft determination, “No but’s, just say yes, please.” His voice was sweet, sickingly sweet, you couldn’t say no even if you wanted to, and this was the perfect opportunity. 
“I mean I’ll just have a talk with them, show them some of your stuff, so, no promises. But I can be very, very persuasive,” he teased, a wink thrown your way.
You stammered, the excitement bubbling within you. "Y-you'd do that for me?” He nodded surely, “even after everything that happened?" Your tone was muffled, laced with insecurity.
"Anything for you," Eddie reassured as he leaned closer, that familiar, small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
With your heart aflutter, you finally agreed, excitement breaking through the barriers of your insecurities. "If—if you really are okay with it, I-I'd love to."
“Of course,” he affirmed. 
“Alright!” Benny chimed in, interrupting the two of you. “Two cheeseburgers with a side of fries, and two milkshakes.” He hummed, settling the food in front of both sets of hungry eyes.
“Enjoy, lovebirds!” He said with a smirk, sauntering away to the kitchen. 
“Thank you!” Both of you exclaimed with happiness as you dug into the food.
As you munched on the crispy fries, you admired the other tables, each one occupied by a slice of life that you couldn't help but find intriguing.
One table was for a family of four. All you could hear was the distressed children, their whining echoed through the restaurant. The parents looked drained, faces etched with exhaustion as they juggled plates of half-eaten food, desperately trying to calm down and distract their kids.
Another table was occupied by a couple who was in a heated argument. The man wore a scowl, voice raised in anger, while the woman looked like she was about to cry, her eyes pleading for understanding.
But the last table was the one that you couldn’t tear your eyes away from, it brought a smile to your face. “Oh my god, look,” you said in a hushed voice, gaze pointing toward the booth that was nested in the far right corner.
Eddie was already face-first into his food, “later, ’m eating.” He grumbled. You poked your tongue out at him playfully. “Jesus… Forgot how grumpy you get when you are hungry,” you hummed, flinging a fry in his direction, causing him to pause mid-bite and chuckle.
“Oh, you don't wanna play that game with me, sweetheart,” he teased, dangling a fry in front of your face.
You grinned, your eyes dancing with excitement. “Just one look, and I’ll be out of your curly unbrushed hair, Munson,” you joked with a giggle.
His eyes rolled quickly, “you won’t stop until you get what you want, will you?” He asked with an annoyed tilt of his head.
You shook your head with a giggle. “Fine,” he huffed jokingly, dipping the fry in his hand into the vanilla milkshake, making an exaggerated sound of satisfaction as he devoured it.
“Gross.” You commented with mock disgust, and he rolled his eyes in response.
“Just tell me which table.” Eddie leaned in, his curiosity piqued as your gaze moved toward the couple at the adjacent booth. The girl was wearing a plaid mini skirt, expertly paired with a statement crop-top covered by an oversized leather jacket wrapped around her shoulders, likely borrowed from the curly-haired brunette sitting on the opposite side of the booth.
Her head was thrown back, and laughter danced in her eyes as she hung on to every word of the story he was telling. The curly haired brunette guy had a graphic band-tee and a guitar pick adorning his neck. Mascara smudged and eyes all red; you knew they probably had a long night. 
It reminded him of something, or rather, someone. 
He looked at you with his brows scrunched up, and you replied to him with a giggle. Both of you were thinking the same thing. 
“That’s fuckin’ weird.” Eddie mumbled with a mouthful of his juicy cheeseburger. “Are those our… doppelgangers?” 
“Right?” You almost mirrored him, taking a bite from your cheeseburger as you leaned further on your elbows. “What do you think their story is?”
“Uhhh-” Eddie grumbled, “us from five years ago?” His mouth partially obscured by the burger as he chewed thoughtfully, a furrow in his brow. 
“Such a detailed story!” You mocked. He couldn't help but notice how the dim diner lighting accentuated your features—plump lips looking so soft from the way you frustratingly groaned—which brought an unintentional smile to his face.
You were so breathtakingly pretty; even when you were munching on a burger, he was absolutely whipped.
Eddie shrugged, that shit-eating grin still on his face. He looked you dead in the eye before he took another big bite, stuffing more fries into his mouth. 
“Fine, I’ll give them a story,” you narrowed your gaze, “and you can keep eating your gross milkshake dipped fries,” you mocked, straightening up your back as you leaned closer, licking your lips before you spoke.
“So the girl… she’s pretty, like really, really pretty.” You said with a sly grin, your gaze now focused on the couple in question; if he wasn’t going to participate, then you could just drag this further. 
“And there’s the guy." You gestured toward the other booth, gaze narrowing as you turned back to Eddie. “He’s just... there, I guess, kind of looks like a douche,” you mocked, mouth scrunching as you looked at Eddie all-knowingly, head tilted to the side.
Eddie scoffed, responding with a lighthearted yet passionate defense of himself. “He looks like a total stud,” he grumbled in between bites with a smirk, “and that band-tee? He’s so fuckin’ cool.”
“Oh, yeah?” You challenged, “I think he’s a total nerd, bet he’s telling his dorky D&D stories to his best friend.” 
He stuck his tongue out, a carefree grin on his face, “Hey! You said you loved my campaigns!” He exclaimed and playfully tossed a soggy fry at you. 
You gasped dramatically, reaching for another fry to retaliate before Eddie’s unreadable expression had you frozen. “Shit, I totally forgot, what time is it?”
“Oh, you’re not getting away with that, Munson, we’re in a full fledged food war now,” you teased, holding a fry aloft, your gaze narrowing in mock seriousness.
“No, no, I’m serious.” Eddie insisted, causing you to huff in response. You turned your back to try to read the old-fashioned clock that stood on the wall. 
“Uh… 1.15, why?” you replied, your brows furrowed in confusion, trying to understand him.
“Shit! Shit, shit!” He cursed, getting up quickly while he started gathering his things.
“What?” You asked with a puzzled look.
“Wayne!” He exclaimed making you furrow your brows.
“What about Wayne?” 
“I promised to pick him up after his shift,” he explained with a sigh. “You know, since I kinda have the car.”
"Well, when did it end?” you inquired, still calm as you took another bite from your burger.
He eyed you with urgency. “15 minutes ago,” grumbling, he shoved whatever was left of his food into his mouth. 
“So, I’m going to see Wayne?” You asked with a smile. 
“If we don’t hurry up, you’re going to see me dead,” he exclaimed dramatically, making you roll your eyes. 
“You need to inhale all of that, now!” He screeched, and you looked up at him with a pout. 
“Now!” He snapped, hands clapping in front of your face. 
“Okay, okay, jesus!” You groaned, taking a deep breath, before you shoved a generous handful of fries in your mouth. 
-
When Eddie led you to the car, all you could think about was how Wayne would react—would he be mad at you? Would he be disappointed? 
Goosebumps appeared when a chill ran down your spine, you didn’t know if you could handle it. Wayne had been a staple in your life up until you left, he fed you, he listened to you when you needed it, he gave you a place to sleep, and he always reassured you that you were always welcome in their home.
And you didn’t even bother to say goodbye to him. Not that you didn’t want to; it’s because you couldn’t. When you and Eddie left, it was in a hurry. You had no time to tell anyone, not even Eddie told Wayne until you two were half-way there to California. 
But it still didn’t stop your guilt, it still didn’t help the way your stomach twisted at the mention of his name. 
Your feet picked up quickly as the thoughts filled your head, only stopping when Eddie called out to you. “I have to tell you somethin’” Eddie mumbled, eyes squeezing shut. 
A huff of air was quick to escape your lips, you knew it was too perfect to end like this, you knew he was going to ruin it. 
“She-uh… she’s coming to brunch tomorrow.”
You froze in place, almost everything fit like a puzzle in your mind now, and you didn’t know which emotion to feel first. 
Anger, jealousy, or sadness. 
And all three of them hit you at the same time. Because it made sense now, it was clear. He liked Chrissy. He wanted Chrissy. 
He wanted to move on with her. 
He had your heart in his hands, but this time he wasn’t toying with it; he was stomping on it, over and over again, not stopping until he was sure it was beyond salvageable. 
Hand almost frozen in the place you opened the car door without a word, settling into the passenger seat like nothing had happened. 
“Shit,” he cursed under his breath before he opened his side of the door, getting inside swiftly just to turn to you, “are you not gonna say anything?” he asked, voice carrying a desperate tone.
Your gaze remained fixed outside the window, your cheek pressed against the cool glass. “We’re going to be late,” you replied with a cold, unfeeling tone. Silence filled the car, mirroring the gaping void that now existed between you two.
Thankfully, Aurora didn’t give him any trouble when he started the ignition with a key turn, and the engine roared to life. You didn’t want to speak; you didn’t want to say anything to him. You wanted to save all of your emotions, contain them in the depths of your mind, and cry yourself to sleep. You didn’t want him to know how much this crushed you. 
But you couldn’t just do that; too disappointed to let it slide, the words escaped your mouth like a dam breaking, “I can’t fucking believe you.” 
“Just, listen, I-I didn’t even invite her-” Eddie tried to explain, but you weren't listening, you didn’t care, you were letting it all out. 
“How would you fucking feel if I kissed… Jason in front of you?” Eddie opened his mouth to answer, but you continued, “how would you feel if I invited him to brunch tomorrow?
Once you took a deep breath to gather your thoughts, he scoffed. “That’s not the same thing, Pinky. Carver made my life a living hell, he was a miserable bully.”
You should tell him, you should tell him what exactly Chrissy did to you.
You should tell him the whole story of that night at Steve’s party. 
The part he didn’t know. 
But you don’t. 
Because you’re too busy to worry about whether he actually wants to be with her or not, your mind felt full, anxieties and worries dancing around in it. 
“And Chrissy kissed Billy!” Your mouth dried up when that name left your mouth, you could feel that dreadful feeling consuming your chest. 
That night was still a blur to you—the way you caught them, the things Chrissy said to you, the way Billy swore that she initiated the kiss. 
Eddie shook his head. “She said it was a misunderstanding.”
You rubbed your fingertips on your forehead in disbelief. “And you believe her over me?” you asked, tone carrying a tinge of hurt and betrayal. The question hung heavy between the two of you.
“No, no!” He yelled out. “Jesus fucking Christ, stop putting words in my mouth, Pinky!” Eddie groaned in frustration, his hands gripping the steering wheel. “She explained it was a misunderstanding, and she does want to tell you that, too… maybe you could talk to her—”
You let out an exasperated chuckle, not interested in entertaining the idea. “no fucking way.” 
“If you want to be with her, then just fucking say that, Munson, don’t do all this fuckin’ bullshit,” you added, crossing your arms against your chest. 
“I don’t want- oh, you’re unbelievable!” He snapped, head bumping against the headrest of his van. 
“You make it fucking impossible to start over!”
“Wh-what does that even mean?” You retorted back.
“J-just when I’m about to start over, just when I-I’m going to…” He rolled his tongue inside of his cheek in rage as he paused to better explain himself. 
“I find a picture of you in my wallet that you put… or, or Nancy and Jonathan tell me that you invited them over…” You were on the brink of retorting when he continued, “or, or, you- you just barge back into town like you never left; talk to me like nothing fuckin’ happened.”
You didn’t dare to open your mouth; everything he said made you feel guilty. But everything he felt, you felt, too. Each time you felt like moving on, each time you wanted to try to be with someone, you physically couldn’t. 
Maybe it was selfish that you liked hearing him feel the same way too. That’s why the way he was being so vague about whatever he had with Chrissy was like a stab to your heart, in the most non-dramatic way possible. 
“You know… I used to think you were the best thing that ever happened to me… I used to think that you w-would always be in my life. That you’d be the one fuckin’ person who’d never leave me.” Eddie's voice trembled, and your throat was quick to tighten, lump forming as his words began to sink in. It felt like the car grew darker the more he spoke, your world crumbling down with it. 
“I was wrong about all of that... all you fuckin’ did was ruin it… You ruined my life.”
The faint strains of heavy metal playing on the car's stereo seemed distant, before you spoke up, wobbly lips slurring your words. “I… I r-ruined your life?” You slumped back on your seat with his words slicing through you like a knife, gnawing at your insecurities.
“Y-you really think that?” Words barely escaped your lips, voice quivering. 
He opened his plushy lips to speak, but he couldn’t answer; words died down in his throat, his gaze fixated on the road, lips pressed into a tight line. 
That in itself was an answer, you knew it, and he knew it. You felt exposed to him, like he knew your insecurities but still did nothing to hide them. 
You couldn't help but feel a hot prickle behind your eyes, the unshed tears were getting harder to hold back. You bit back on your wobbly lip, in an attempt to conceal the pent-up emotions that were begging to be let out. “This… this whole thing was a mistake,” you murmured, voice hushed and heavy with regret. The words felt like stones in your mouth, bitter and unpalatable. 
“We-we were caught up in ourselves, ther-there’s no fuckin’ way we could ever be friends,” you continued, driving home the painful truth, just so you could hurt him like he hurt you, just so you didn’t want him to know how pathetically you still wanted to be with him in any way possible. 
“I agree,” he grumbled, eyes still on the road. Tears streamed down your cheeks, tracing glistening paths along your cheeks, you didn’t even attempt to wipe them. Sniffles punctuated the air, body shuddering with an attempt to suppress your sobs, but then again, they were drowned out by the heavy metal music that echoed in the car. 
Eddie’s gaze fell on you every few seconds; but you didn’t seem to notice. And the guilt ate away at him, too, his brows furrowed in agony. He knew that wasn’t what he meant to say. He didn’t mean it in that way, you didn’t ruin his life; you never could—well, not until you left him. 
His knuckles tightened on the steering wheel; this wasn’t how everything was supposed to happen. He didn’t even invite Chrissy; she asked to come, and of course Eddie said yes, what else could he do? So he just wanted to give you a heads up. Just so things wouldn’t get bad between the two of you again, but he managed to screw it up.
Grumbles and some curses were all the two of you could hear when Eddie pulled up to Wayne’s workplace. With a huff of breath, your car door hung open. “I’ve been waiting for thirty minutes, rockstar; you better have some good fuckin’ excuse-” Wayne’s eyes widened the second his gaze met your sad figure.
“Jesus H. Christ!” Wayne exclaimed as if seeing a ghost. “Am I seein' that right? Is that who I think it is?” Despite the heartache gnawing at your insides, you managed a smile.
"Hi, Wayne," you mumbled shyly. Wayne, however, wasn't having it. "Oh, you're not gettin' off with a simple 'hey,' come over here, kid!" He said excitedly, pulling you into a bear-hug. The embrace was tight enough to make you giggle and sniffle, an unfamiliar smile on your lips.
“Where the hell have ya been?” Wayne inquired once he let you go. 
You tried to get up, offering him the front seat, he shook his head, hands holding you down by your shoulders, not wanting to interrupt the two of you.
You told him about everything—New York, your job, how you got here. Everything. 
And all Eddie did was drive; he didn’t look at you or even Wayne for all that mattered—not a single glance. And of course, this didn’t go unnoticed by Wayne. 
“Alright, kids, you two are bein' weird…” Wayne grumbled, glancing at Eddie. “Tell me what the hell happened. Some kind of lover's quarrel?” Eddie scoffed, and you couldn't help but snap your head in his direction.
"Somethin' funny, boy?" Wayne added, narrowing his gaze at his niece. Eddie sighed but still avoided both of your gazes.
“No, no, uhh- nothing happened.” He murmured.
Your gaze narrowed, and you couldn’t help the anger inside of you. “That’s funny, that is not how I remember it.” 
Wayne’s brows furrowed before he leaned closer to the front seat. “What happened, P? You know you can always tell me anythin’” he murmured with a reassuring tone. 
Eddie scoffed, rolling his eyes, but you ignored him, “he is with Chrissy,” you said, scrunching your face as you turned to gauge Wayne's reaction.
Wayne's brows tilted together, his eyes narrowing as he tried to remember that name. “You remember her? Strawberry blonde hair and-”
“The blondie that made you cry?” you nodded, “with that Hargrove kid?” 
“See, even Wayne remembers,” you grumbled, slightly elbowing Eddie to get a reaction out of him, only earning an offended huff.  
“I never liked him, you know,” Wayne continued, large hands gesturing vaguely to emphasize his point, “always thought you were way too good for him. A guy like him has no business with my Pinky.” You leaned further into the headrest, fingers fiddling with your jacket as you gave Wayne a weak smile. 
“Should’ve listened to you,” you hummed. 
“So Eddie is with her?” Wayne mumbled, face souring. 
“Boy, have you lost your damn mind?” Wayne was quick to chide Eddie, who was drumming his fingers on the steering wheel in an attempt to not snap at either of you. 
But it wasn’t working. 
"I told you I'm not with her!" he hissed, voice dripping with irritation. He shot a glare at Wayne through the rearview mirror, but his words were directed at you. 
“How would you explain kissing her and inviting her to our friend's brunch!” You snapped in Eddie’s direction. 
“Eddie, tell me you did not do that!”
“It-it’s not like that, Wayne.”
“Oh, really? What is it like?” You gruffly asked, curiosity and hurt evident in your tone.
“Eddie…” Wayne warned him shushingly with a disappointed look, he could see how much you were hurting, and he knew Eddie was a bit oblivious.
“What?” he groaned.
“Don’t worry, Wayne, he just enjoys playing with my feelings,” you replied with a scoff, fingers tracing the pattern on the car’s leather seats, a relief to your pent-up emotions.
“Oh, you’re one to fuckin’ talk,” Eddie muttered under his breath with an out of place chuckle, his anger overflowing after holding it back for so long. “Newsflash, princess. You weren’t the one to wake up all alone in L.A. with one fucking note, I was!” He yelled, words punctuated by the heavy breath he took between each sentence. 
“You should be grateful you have two notes in that pocket of yours because I barely got one!” 
“Will you stop bringing that up?” You plead, lip wobbling as you bit on it harshly to stop your emotions from spilling. 
“‘I can’t do this, sorry.’” He recited your words, and you refused to look at him. “Five letters, Pinky. Not even six. Five. You left me with that—no goodbyes, no nothin’, just a sticky fuckin’ note attached to the fridge.” His head snapped toward you.
A loud chuckle left your mouth, you turned to him with rage, and Wayne knew he had to step in or it was going to get ugly, even uglier than, whatever this was. “This isn’t even about that-”
“Alright, alright!” He interrupted, hands waving in the space between the two of you. 
“Simmer down, both of you! I know the two of you have a lot of unresolved shit… but don’t burn this bridge,” he warned, “not again.” Wayne’s words were quick to disperse the emotional fog that had surrounded the car. 
“The thing, whatever the hell it is, that y’all have… people spend their whole fuckin’ life lookin’ for it… Don’t be dumb.” That was enough to have the two of you shut up. 
“Talk it out.” He said, firm but fair. “I know you’ve both been hurt, so, be honest with each other, and apologize,” he continued, urging both of you to confront each other.
“Okay?” He asked, head hanging in the space between the two of you. 
“Okay,” both of you mumbled in unison, backs turned toward each other.
‘Too late’ was all you could think; that bridge was already burned. There was no way the two of you could ever go back now, right?
A sigh of relief escaped your lips when Eddie finally pulled up to your house, you didn’t waste any time saying goodbye to Eddie before turning to Wayne and giving him a hug. 
“See you around?” You asked with a hopeful smile.
“You better!” Wayne warned playfully, evoking a giggle from you. “You gotta drop by sometime, promise?” He asked with a sly grin, he knew exactly what he was doing. 
You didn’t want to see Eddie anymore than you had to now, but if Wayne asked you to do something, you’d do it in a heartbeat. 
You looked back at Eddie, your gazes connecting for a second before both of you turned away. “Uh-huh, promise,” you mumbled before exiting quickly. 
“What the hell are you doin’, kid?” Wayne exclaimed the moment you left, causing Eddie to look at him with a puzzled expression.
“Walk her to her door, for Christ’s sake!”
“I-I don’t think that’s a great idea,” Eddie explained hesitantly.
“Where are your manners?” Wayne scolded him, raising his voice. Eddie grumbled in frustration but ultimately gave in, cussing under his breath as he exited the car to follow you.
He ran after you, breathless once he finally caught up to you. “Sorry, I should’ve walked you-” He mumbled
You shook your head interrupting him, “no, it’s fine.” 
“So, uhhh…” He started, gaining your attention back to him. “Goodnight.” Eddie grumbled with a scratch of his head, barely able to look at you. He didn’t want to leave things like this, but the damage was already done. You could see the guilt in his eyes, but it didn’t matter now. 
He wondered what you would think of the notes; would you even read them? Would you get mad at him for the things he wrote? 
“Goodnight, Eddie.” You muttered back, turning to the door as you avoided looking at him, your finger shakily retrieved your key as you fumbled with it, doing everything in your willpower to not turn back at him. 
Eddie walked away with the same thoughts eating away at him. Were you going to look back at him? The temptation got the best of him, and he turned with a shy nod. You were struggling with your keys, muttering in frustration, and the sight unintentionally brought a smile to his lips before he hurried back to his car.
The moment you heard his car door open, you turned, slowly and reluctantly, only for your gaze to meet Wayne’s, who had an all-knowing smirk playing at his lips, waving at you. 
You gave him a shy smile before you hurriedly turned your back, finally opening the door and rushing inside. 
“You idiot lovebirds are goin’ to be the death of me,” Wayne grumbled to himself with a shake of his head, watching the way you scurried inside.
Once you locked the door, you rested against it, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. Your thoughts were swirling,but there was only one thing that was overpowering everything else; the note. 
You furiously searched for it in your pocket, curiosity filling the course of your veins as you fished it out of the left one, your hand shaking as you held it in front of your eyes. 
The words scribbled in the closed note had your heart racing, afraid of what it was going to say, once you fully opened it, your eyes roamed through it quickly.
The note was dated a week ago. 
Don't fool yourself,
She was heartache from the moment that you met her.
My heart feels so still
As I try to find the will to forget her, somehow.
Oh I think I've forgotten her now.
(Is it obvious this last line is sarcasm?) 
Your fingers traced the line that had the parenthesis and were crossed out. Eddie’s notes. If you the tears that escaped your burning eyes weren’t distorting your vision, maybe you would’ve appreciated some of the lyrics, and his funny notes, even though they were messy and all over the place.
I don’t blame you, but sometimes I wish we hadn’t met. (This is kinda too out there, but there could be something from this???)
Your heart pounded against your ribcage—that familiar ache that never fully left returned with a sharper pain. It hurt that he thought of you in this way. He thought you ruined his life, and now he wished he had never met you. 
Those thoughts sank into your brain, and the anger that came with them was something you couldn’t comprehend. There was a lot more of the scribbled nonsense that you couldn’t read, other lyrics that were scratched out. 
Your hands were shaking once you flipped it over. The other note was dated today. 
I lied, didn’t I? I think I would prefer all the heartache in the world to not knowing you. I didn’t even realize that until today. Until I saw you across the room. And I can’t even explain how good it felt to look up and see you standing there. Even with that frown adorning your face.
Your tears hadn’t stopped, falling onto the piece of crumpled up paper and making a mess. 
You felt like an idiot; you should’ve told him when you had the chance, and you had a lot of them. You were angry that you let everyone walk over you. You were angry that Billy had gotten away with everything. And now, Chrissy had a chance with him without ever paying for the consequences of what she did. 
You couldn’t let that happen.
You didn’t want to be polite with your sadness anymore You didn’t want to absorb everyone’s pain to make sure they were okay. And you hated that that’s what you did essentially did when you didn’t tell Eddie about Chrissy. 
You paced around the room, biting down on your nails. 
Should you tell him? Or was that too selfish?
Because if you wanted to tell him, you had just the perfect opportunity to tell him and confront Chrissy; the brunch. 
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✦ final authors note —ALSO THE CHRISSY STUFF WILL BE REVEALED NEXT CHAPTER. IM SORRY FOR TEASING IT SO LONG BUT THE REVEAL IS GONNA BE GOOD I PROMISE LMAO. if you like this series pls support me by rbing liking and commenting ily thank youu🫶🏻 [EDIT: i forgot to say this but ofc the lyrics are not mine they are by jeff buckley’s incredible song “forget her” i listened to it A LOT writing this chapter👀 also if u can guess what the chapters title is inspired by ily]
permanent taglist (lmk if u want to be added): @mandyjo8719 @kellsck @batkin028 @hideoutside @sashaphantomhive @nabiiturner @andvys (ILY.)
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somanyratsinthewalls · 4 months
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Kinktober Special Part 9
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Mo’s Kinktober Special 
The Crew’s Whore (Part 9) (+18)
!!!!!!MINORS DNI!!!!
Summary: You are the former owner of the Grand Line’s most popular brothel. Your powerful fighting abilities got the attention of the captain of the Straw Hat Pirates. He had asked you to join their crew but what would you bring to the team? Your battle skills were hardly comparable to many of the other Straw Hats… but you actually had a great skill. Your years working as a high end escort had prepared you to become the private plaything for this pirate crew. You joined the Straw Hats as their personal sex toy.
Pairing: Eustass Kid x Fem!Reader
WC: 3000 LMAO
TWs: Kind of aggressive sex/degredation? Impact play. Degradation, name calling, angry sex, hate sex, p in v unprotected sex, spit play, edging, creampies, its SO much porn sorry
— — 
“NO I WANT TO KICK HIS ASS BEFORE YOU!” Luffy shouted at the two other captains who stood around him, fuming. 
“IF ANYONE IS KICKING ANYONE’S ASS IT’LL BE ME! I’m stronger than the two of you fuckheads combined!” The absolutely massive redhead decked out in leather and metal was looming over your captain, yelling. 
“You’re both insufferable, we need to develop a plan!” The handsome yet reserved doctor pleaded with the two hotheads to figure out an actual strategy for their mission. 
Somehow, three of the most dangerous pirate crews had been forced into an alliance and to no one’s surprise they couldn’t agree on a damn thing. You were at a table watching the argument unfold with your head in your hands propped up on your elbows. There was a large glass of white wine in front of you. If you had to watch this idiocy, you thought you’d at least try to enjoy it. You were flanked at the table by a giant man in what seemed like a hockey mask and a polar bear in an orange jumpsuit who were also watching the captains’ squabble. 
The bear was the first to speak. 
“I’m starting to think they might all be… stupid…” 
“You fucking think?” You huff out while you take a sip of your wine. You set the glass back down on the table with a sigh. “This alliance is a disaster. Not Luffy’s worst idea by any stretch of the imagination… but still a disaster. I’m going to slam my head against this table as hard as I can. They’ll probably stop fighting long enough to come over and see if I’m okay.” 
“Now that’s a stupid idea.” The masked man stated plainly. 
“Watch out or I’ll tell them you did it and then they’ll have something new to argue about.” You quipped back. 
The blonde man next to you sighed and tipped up the bottom of his mask to insert the top of the bottle of wine you were enjoying into his mouth and take several gulps. 
“I don’t think we should risk concussion just to get them to shut up.” He spoke again and took another glug of wine. He put his mask back down. “As tempting as it may be.”
“Fine.” You finish your glass of wine and cup your hands around your mouth to amplify your voice in the direction of the quarreling captains. “Just pull your dicks out and compare lengths already!” 
The shouting stopped immediately and three heads snapped in your direction. Kid and Law scowled at you. 
“Oh, I don’t think that was…” The polar bear muttered softly. 
“WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME?” Captain Kid shouted as he stormed over to you at such a pace his coat was almost blown off his shoulders. Luffy and Law followed. 
“Why did you need to see my dick, y/n? I’m kinda busy right now, but I’m sure Sanji is around here somewhere!” Luffy grins and laughs at you, oblivious to your innuendo. Law covered his face with his hand and sighed. 
Kid slams his fists on the table before turning his head to your captain. 
“You let your crew talk to people like this, Strawhat? Disgraceful and disgusting.” He spits as he turns back to you. 
You smile up at the hulkingly large, angry man in front of you and bat your eyelashes. 
“Aww don’t bully me, Kid, I’ll cum!” You tease with a fake pout. 
Kid’s eyes blow totally wide and cranes his neck back in shock. Law brings his hand down to his mouth as he hides a snort-laugh. Kid is taken aback only for a moment as his expression turns wild and livid again. 
“You think I’m even remotely interested in a pirate whore? I’ve had hundreds of skanks just like you, and you think you’re special?” Kid says through gritted teeth. 
“She’s actually pretty good, Jaggy! Maybe you should lighten up and take her for awhile tonight! You’re free tonight, aren’t you, y/n?” Luffy beams at you.
“Hmmm I know Franky had some new toys he wanted to try, and Usopp and Robin were interested in watching… but I’m sure they’d have no problem rescheduling if Big Red wanted to take me for a spin.” You smirk as you casually pour yourself another glass of wine, forgetting that it probably had Hockey Mask’s backwash in it. This comment only made Kid’s face turn a deeper red. 
“I am not going to take any of your sloppy seconds, Strawhat!” Kid yelled. 
“Thirds, actually.” Law states in a deadpan manner. You smirk.
You hear the polar bear next to you gasp and bring his paws to his mouth. 
“Captain! Goodness…” He whispered softly. 
Kid seethes further. 
“You’re nothing but a whore, a filthy free use slut. I wouldn’t stick my dick anywhere near you.” Kid remarks, obviously trying to strike a chord. You giggle. You had been a whore your whole life, it was hardly something you felt bad about being called. To you, it was simply a job description. 
“So that’s what gets you going, huh? Calling girls names?” You grin up at the redhead. 
“Careful…” You hear the masked blonde next to you whisper. Kid continues to glare at you. 
“Is that what makes your little cock hard? How cute.” You go on, sipping from your wine glass. “Frankly you smell like scotch and pennies so I won’t be upset with your rejection, Captain Kid.” You emphasize his name sarcastically, still smiling. 
You had obviously struck a nerve. 
“You fucking bitch!” Kid screams at you. 
“Captain, relax…” Hockey Mask pipes up louder from your side… but Kid continues. 
“You have the audacity to call me little? I’m 6 foot 9 and you want to say I’m small? Use your brain here… or is that too hard for a bimbo like you?” He leans in and lowers his voice. 
“I’ve seen men twice your size with cocks they can barely find, so I’m no stranger to a size discrepancy.” You state calmly as you look him up and down. “If you feel like proving me wrong, I’ll be on ship’s watch tonight.” You stand up and saunter back to the Sunny across the dock, leaving the men to continue arguing behind you. 
——
You sit against the mast on the deck of the Sunny, smoking a cigarette and staring up at the starry night sky. You hear the heavy thump of jackboots hitting the deck near the gangplank. You smirk and snuff out your cigarette before standing up. 
“So much for ‘I wouldn’t stick my dick anywhere near you.’” You chuckle as you turn to face exactly who you were expecting. 
Without a word, you’re pushed backwards, now held up with a heavy metal hand pressing your body against the mast, feet dangling below you. 
“You’re a fucking brat. Brats need to be punished.” Kid speaks lowly as he brings his flesh hand to your throat and squeezes the sides gently. 
“I’d like to see you try.” You gasp out with his fingers pressing against your windpipe. 
“Gods you never shut up do you…” Kid says before his smashes his mouth onto yours in a messy, aggressive kiss. Teeth and tongues were clashing immediately. After a few moments, Kid’s grip around your torso loosened. “Your room…” He grunts out against your lips. 
“Down the hall… third door on the left…” You say softly with his hand still around your neck. 
Kid immediately scoops up your tiny body and throws it over his shoulder with a thud. His hand hits your ass and you yelp out. Kid carries you to your room and kicks open the door. You were thrown all the way across the room, your body hitting the bed with a heavy thump.
“You thought you could get away with disrespecting me like that…” Kid says as he strides towards you, shredding his jacket. “You’re in for it now, little girl…” He smiles devilishly as he starts undoing his belt. “Clothes off. Now.” 
You sit up on your elbows. 
“Make me.” You say with a sheepish grin. 
“Fucking bitch… can’t listen to a single thing…” Kid stopped his work on his pants and stomps over to you. He uses his metal hand to rip your dress and panties off your body in one fell swoop. You were now completely exposed, so you closed your legs to hide the arousal that this vicious man was causing you. He looks down at your nude body from the side of the bed for a moment, nipples erect and thighs clenched together. 
“Such a tight little body… too bad I have to ruin it.” Kid says with a laugh. 
“Get on with it then. I’m waiting. I had better offers tonight, you know. I’m not usually one for charity cases.” You say from your reclined position on the bed. 
Kid growls and forces your legs apart, then hovers his face over  yours as he still stands against the bed. He swiftly and forcefully shoves two thick fingers inside of you without warning. He grips the back of your head with his metal hand and forces you to look down at your own sex where his fingers were pumping in and out of you at a fast pace. You cry out in both pain and pleasure. 
“You slut… charity case, huh? Why is this dirty little cunt so wet, then? Just look at it, already drooling on my hand… You get this wet for every pirate that comes your way? So filthy…” He chided you. You squirmed in his hold as he crooked up his fingers and started tapping them into your g-spot. 
“Fuck!” You breath out as you feel your orgasm build quickly with each pull of his fingers and grind of his palm against your clit. The red haired man smiled maniacally down at you as he worked your pussy over. 
“You’re close, huh little girl?” Kid smirked over you as he brought you so close to the edge of release. 
“Yes, fuck, I’m right there…” You huff out and furrow your brow, trying to reach your peak. 
“Good. Stay that way.” Kid says as he removes his hands from you. 
The ache in your neck from being held in place paled in comparison to the need you felt between your legs. You were right on the precipice of your high and it was ripped away from you. 
“What the fuck, Kid!” You shouted up at him in frustration. 
“Oh sweetheart you’re going to have to get used to that. After running your mouth all day, I don’t think you’ll be cumming tonight. Maybe if you really beg for it…” Kid chuckles. 
“I’m not beggin- Oh!” You shriek as you’re picked up and flipped onto your stomach, your bottom half facing the edge of the bed. A cool metal hand grips your waist and pulls you up to your knees on the bed, presenting your ass up in the air. You hear a belt and pants clink to the floor. 
“Enough, slut.” Kid commands as he sinks his cock deep into you without warning.
“Shit!” You cry out and your head whips back. 
“Not so little now, huh?” 
“Holy shit, Kid-“ You try to squeak out as he pulled your hips back to meet his pelvis, forcing his cock to kiss your womb so deeply with each rapid stroke. “S-slow down! Too much…” You shout as tears prick at your eyes. 
“No I don’t think so, whore. You talked a big game earlier, so you’re going to take this big dick now like the slut you are.” Kid punctuated his words with a harsh slap to your ass. He pulls out and flips you quickly onto your back. “Wanna see this pretty face when I break you.” 
Kid enters you again and you moan involuntarily. You were certainly eating your words now… he was far from little. You weren’t about to let him get the best of you yet, though… 
You pull Kid down by his neck into a searing kiss as he plowed into your weeping cunt. He hummed in approval as he leaned down further into you, allowing you to wrap your arms around his shoulders. Distracting him by sticking your tongue down his throat, you use all your might to flip him over you onto the bed, leaving you seated on his cock. You pulled back with a wicked grin on your face. You bounced hard on top of him, making Kid growl out in pleasure. 
“Topped by a girl, Captain Kid? Doesn’t seem like you.” You say, your voice laced with venom as your run your hands up his chest. You squeeze his nipples as you ride his cock. 
“Fuck… you’re lucky you’re so fucking good at that… or else I’d strangle the life out of you right now…” Kid huffs out as he bucks his needy hips up into yours, making a lewd slapping noise against your ass. You grind yourself onto him, feeling yourself so close to that stolen orgasm from before. 
Kid sees your eyes roll back and feels your pussy begin to flutter around him. It was a dead giveaway, your body had betrayed you. 
Kid grips your torso in his metal hand yet again and throws you off his cock and onto your back at the foot of the bed. 
“Fuck! Why!” You cry as you whack your fists against the bed. 
Kid laughs as he teases his cock at your hole from above you. 
“You haven’t properly begged for it yet. I’ll happily let you cum… I just need to hear you, desperate and needy, beg me to let you cum on my cock.”
You groan and buck your hips into the head of his member, desperate to feel him inside of you again and achieve your release. You pussy was throbbing, hurting even, with need and you needed to fix it. Now. 
“Fine… Please just put it back in… Wanna feel you more…” You sigh out. 
“Oh was that a ‘please’? Little brat is learning! Gonna be such a good slut when we’re done here…” Kid says as he slowly slips himself back into your clenching hole. 
Kid himself lets out a groan as he sees the dopey smile that washes over your face when your feel his cock press against that sinful spot inside of you again. He continues pumping in and out of you at a slow, torturous pace. He used his flesh hand to stroke your clit gently as he holds your leg open with his metal hand. You arch your back and moan. 
“Close again, brat? You ready to beg for it? I can feel it, this little pussy needs to cum so bad. I can do it for you… you know how…” Kid teases as he stops rubbing your clit but leaves his hand there, waiting for a response. 
“Shit! Don’t stop please! Please please please, Kid! I don’t fucking care anymore you asshole, I need to cum so bad please! I want to be a good slut for you! I want to cum, please!” You scream with thrashing hips, tears finally falling from your lashes. 
“Hmmm, could be nicer… but fine. Go ahead, whore, cream my cock then.” Kid says as he resumes his ministrations on your clit and picks up the speed of his hips. 
“FUCK!” You shout lewdly as you feel the coil in your abdomen break and you’re finally pushed over that edge. You could barely control your body as it spasmed and gushed all over Kid’s waist. 
“Aww, you’re so cute when you cum.” Kid tells you condescendingly. “Now open wide, slut. What do we say?” He says as he fully leans over you and grips your cheeks together firmly in one hand. 
“Thank… you…” You say weakly as you try to recover from your orgasm, but Kid is still plowing into your sensitive pussy. Kid holds your jaw open and he spits in your mouth. You instinctively swallow. 
“Good fucking girl…” Kid coos down at you as you feel his body tighten and he shoots hot ropes of cum deep inside of you. 
Kid flops on top of you, his head buried in your shoulder. After a few moments of catching your breath, you realized yours was a bit labored. 
“Kid… you’re like 300 pounds… can you maybe get off me before you fall asleep?” You ask while trying to push him off by his shoulders. 
“Huh? Oh. Yeah.” He comes to his senses and pushes himself off of you and rises to his feet. “Mind if I crash here tonight?” He asks. 
“I’d be offended if you didn’t.” You giggle and climb into the sheets that were now thoroughly messed up. “Take that hunk of metal off and stay awhile.” You nod at his arm. 
“Uh, yeah. I guess I could. I just want to make sure the door is locked.” Kid seems to avoid your gaze as he checks your bedroom door lock before removing his metal arm and setting it on the floor next to your bed. He says nothing as he climbs into bed. 
“Sorry I’m about half the cuddler I used to be…” Kid says with a somewhat sad laugh. He wraps his flesh arm around your torso. You turn around to face him. 
“You don’t like people seeing you without it, do you?” You ask as you look into his golden eyes. 
“no. I don’t.” He replies. 
“It’s okay. You’re safe with me.” You nuzzle into Kid’s broad chest and promptly fall asleep. 
——
*****A/N* OKAY BUT DOES THIS NEED A PART 2?!?!!?!? Bitch I got carried AWAY?!!?!?!?!****
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healmyhrt · 8 months
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⌗ a night alone, c. sturniolo
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chris x fem!reader
summary: you and chris have the house to yourselves and decide to do something other than… inappropriate things, and fail. (lmao)
disclaimers!: established relationship, oral sex (male receiving), mild smut, kissing, cursing, use of y/n,
a/n: yall. its short. all my shit is short unfortunately, I APOLOGIZE. I WILL MAKE LONGER FICS IN THE FUTURE. until then, HERES A CHRIS FIC FOR MY CHRIS GIRLS 😜 | also didn’t proofread <3
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the boys were out for the night, so it was just chris and i. we often have nights to ourselves, but we usually choose to do more… inappropriate things. that’s why i wanted to have a simple date night tonight.
“okay come up!” i yell down toward his bedroom. chris jogs up the steps, and his eyes widen at the kitchen table.
“what’s this?” he smiles.
spread across the wooden table were all the ingredients to bake cookies, and a few candles. he looks over to me, and smirks. “oh, you shouldn’t have.” he says in a dramatic tone, walking toward me.
he puts his arms around my waist, and i place my hands around his neck, slightly looking up at him. “i thought it’d be a nice change for our night alone.” i grin back.
chris glances back over at the table, and then back at me with the sweetest smile ever. “and it is.”
i kiss him, impatiently, and he tilts my jaw upward with his index finger. a repetitive sound interrupts us, and i look over at my phone on the table. “sorry.” i sigh.
“i set a timer for the butter to thaw.” i chuckle, holding up the now soft, stick of butter. chris laughs and then stops abruptly, looking at all the ingredients again.
“wait,” he starts, “does this mean we’re not fucking?”
oh my god.
“chris—” he continues walking around the table until he gets to the assortment of cookies. “wait, babe.”
i scoff. “yeah?” he picks up the cookies, and turns it so i can read the title. “these are bake only, they’re pre-made. we dont need all these ingredients.” he laughs.
i snatch the cookies from his hands, and read the title again. “shut the fuck up.” i mumble. chris takes the cookies from my hands, and places them on the table.
“so, i guess we can fuck.” he smirks.
“chris, noooo. we need to do something different.” i gesture to the cookies he just put down. he places his hands on my waist, lifting me up like it’s nothing.
i automatically wrap my legs around his waist, and he places both hands on my hips, holding me up.
“please, baby.”
i gently bite my bottom lip. that’ll do it for me.
“fine. but only for a little.” chris smiles instantly, and smashes his lips against mine. the kiss is hungry, like he couldn’t get enough of me.
he sits me on the counter, and slowly lifts up my nightgown. i pull it over my head, and do the same to his shirt, then he throws it on the floor.
“pants.” i say through a kiss.
chris’s hands leave my hips, and begin shimmying his pants down. i hop off of the counter, and adjust him so he’s leaning against it. “what’re you—” i interrupt him by putting my hand over his mouth.
he nods, and i move my hand, using it to pull down his boxers. chris’s breathing becomes rapid, and i smile to myself.
i hold his shaft in my hands, and spit over his tip. chris watches while it slowly trickles down from my lips and onto him.
he trembles as it slides down his shaft, and i hold eye contact with him while i move my hand up and down, spreading it.
i had grown bored of touching him with my hands, so i move my mouth to his cock, and wrap my lips around his tip. i look up asking for his consent, and chris gives me a quick nod.
i took more and more of him, stopping halfway because i couldn't swallow any more. i started bobbing my head on his cock, collecting the precum.
“ah, ah…” chris moaned every time i put more of him into my mouth, and felt his tip hit the back of my throat.
“please, ma…” he spoke through whimpers, and grabbed a handful of my hair. chris thrusts into my mouth, bruising my throat.
i tap his thigh, and he comes to an abrupt stop.
i pull myself off of him, and his cock leaves mymouth with a pop sound. “too rough?” i wipe my mouth, and stand up, kissing him.
“it’s okay. i like it when you’re like that.” i smirk.
chris pulls up his boxers and his pajama pants together, and looks around for his shirt. i slide my nightgown back up my legs, and straighten the straps on my shoulders.
“so, we should probably make these cookies now, huh?”
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joelsbeard · 3 months
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pre-outbreak!joel when you're pregnant ❤️
part 2
part 3
If you read my hc's on what pre-outbreak!joel would be like when you're on your period, imagine that x10 when you're pregnant with his babies 🥺 (<- sarah and ellie!!!)
He is the sweetest man that will put up with all of your random mood swings and cravings. I imagine sarah to be the more chill baby with less pregnancy symptoms, whereas ellie is a little more chaotic and gives you a harder time lol. However, when you're pregnant with sarah you get worse morning sickness unfortunately lol, and like the angel he is joel always gets up and holds your hair and rubs your back when you're throwing up. You tell him he doesn't need to and partially bc you don't want him seeing you like that, but he just comforts you and says he wants to help 🥺.
You get mood swings with both pregnancies, one moment youre fine and the next you're gagging and getting nauseous at the smell of him making scrambled eggs for you, other times you snap at him for the most random things like the way he chews or brushes his teeth, one time you almost lose it bc you can't stand the way he's even breathing. Poor joel lol sometimes he gets a little irritated with your extreme mood swings but he knows its all because you're growing his babies ❤️ and the least he could do is try not to make you feel bad lol
Sometimes after acting our bc of your mood swings you start crying afterwards bc you feel bad for raising your voice at joel 🥺 and you know he's doing his best not to piss you off or make you any more upset since its bad for the baby, and he always pulls you in for a hug or a cuddle and reassures you that its okay and that he knows your mood swings are out of your control. One time he looked slightly irritated/hurt and may have raised his voice a little at you after you bugged/yelled at him that you didn't want his help bc you were feeling suffocated by him and you start sobbing and you ask him "are you mad at me? 🥺 I'm sorryyyy 😭" and then he feels a little bad, but not as much as you do for yelling at your man when all he's doing is trying to help 😭 you end up laying on the couch all squished together trying to comfort each other LMAO
On several occasions you wake him up at random times (you try not to bc of his work schedule, however his hours at some point aren't as crazy bc you also have some savings to help out, and you were working up until your maternity leave) for your random pregnancy cravings, pizza, McDonald's, ice cream, pickle ice cream sandwiches, cheetos and sour cream, and other random things (one time you even start craving detergent, though of course you don't eat it) and he always goes to the store to get you some. One time you asked him for a pizza with a cheese stuffed crust and he brings you thin crust pizza, and when you open the box you were so excited for the cheese filled crust that when you saw it was the wrong order you burst into tears. Joel 's like"oh noo, baby whats wrong?I thought you wanted pizza?" and you're like "😖😭 babeee i wanted the one with the cheese stuffed crust!!" and then he's like 🙄 (internally) "Its fine i can go back for another one" and you say "noo I don't want it!!" then he's like "but I thought you didn't want this pizza either" and you're like "I don't! 😖😖😖" And you turn into a blubbering mess lol and he grabs you by your waist and pulls you in close and he puts his forehead against your temple and presses a bunch of kisses there to calm you down lol. Poor joel is having a hard time keeping up with all your cravings and mood swings.
You buy some maternity clothes to go out but tbh you mostly just steal even more of his clothes (if possible). He always walks into the house from work seeing you swimming in one of his shirts and if its cold you're also wearing his sweatpants (rolled a million times so that they stay up on you lol) and more often than not you'll be sitting on the couch eating ice cream. He thinks you're so adorable and hot in his clothes, and when your belly gets big enough you use it as a table lol.
He loves seeing you grow his babies, it makes him wanna get you pregnant again even tho you're already pregnant lmao.
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scarthefangirl · 1 year
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Giving to the poor
Hobie brown x G/N!reader
Request: hobie with a ballerina reader who is also a HUGE bookworm-dont ask me where the idea came from because idk either lol- I kinda just wanted to see how that would maybe look?
Warnings: none? Mentions of theft
Story type: Headcannons
A/N: Not my best but please read my other fics!!
Masterlist | REQUESTS OPEN
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You and Hobie don't have a ton in common
You are graceful, very sweet, and a little more awkward
Hobie is a little more- bold and rough
But you two couldn't be a better pair
He loves your smooth and sophisticated fighting style, thanks to your ballet
He thinks its hot how you almost make fighting into a dance, and can whoop anyone in heartbeat
You encourage him constantly to take up ballet, insisting that it'll do him good
"Football players do it! It helps balance and control, and you'd look fine in a leotard." You always plead
"I don't need help, I'm doin' just fine love. But I certainly would look good," He always says
In secret he'd probably watch ballet tutorials to see if its for him, to make you happy
He is FLOORED when he finds out how often you have to replace ballet slippers
"Every 6 months? That has to be so expensive!"
Just wait till he hears that you also have pointe shoes that get replaced every few months...
He will start to time out when you buy shoes and buy them for you
He listens to you rant about your terrible dance teacher and fellow ballerinas for as long as you want, nodding in agreement about how horrible they are
He'll do yoga with you (although he's not very bendy) to keep you flexible and let you laugh at how bad he is
As for your reading addiction, Hobie finds it adorable
The way you gasp and yell at your books as you read, your facial expressions that convey the emotion of the chapters, your particularity for how books should be handled, everything
He isn't the biggest reader but if you hype up a book he'll definitely check it out
You guys bond over ones you both like
"I like hunger games. We need more katniss's in the world to stick it to the man!" He says after finishing the series
Dystopian books make him mad and go on lectures about how the real government is just as bad and deteriorating and loves the wah you'll go off with him and agree and listen
Sometimes he loses you around headquarters and looks EVERYWHERE for you
Loses trust in everyone
"Have you seen them? Come on, think would ya? Yes you have, I know you have!"
Only to find you in an empty room either reading or practicing your ballet
Either way, he leans on the door frame and admire you until you notice him
"If you're gonna sneak away darlin' you could at least tell me, I worry." He scolds but smiles and sits next to you.
Hobie LOVES making people uncomfortable
He'll admire you fighting and just yell out how hot you are or how turned on he is, not caring who hears
He'll make out with you in front of anyone, anytime.
On a different note, when you obsessively buy books he wants to stop you but he can't because you look so cute with the way your face lights up at each cover
"I've been wanting this one!" Or, "I have this one but this is a different cover!"
He isn't all for traditional gender roles but he will pay for your stuff, just because he loves you. He lets you pay for him sometimes if you offer
He sometimes sneaks a book out, stealing it just because he hates the way you insist on following rules
"Here, I took this one for ya," he says
"Hobart Brown!" You scold but can't help being happy for the book
"What? I'm stealing from the rich," he gestures to the book store. "And giving to the poor," he ends, gesturing at you.
He gives to 'the poor' a lot
If you ever talk about a book to him that you want, it randomly appears on you bookshelf
~
Sorry for the abrupt ending lmao
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inkdemonapologist · 7 months
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nobody asked but since I've seen a lil chatter on the DCTL Graphic Novel on tumblr too, here's the thread I posted on twitter, speaking as someone who's done a little freelance work as a comic artist, under the jump:
Main thought about the DCTL graphic novel preview is: yeah, I've made designs like that when I was being paid by the page and expected to just throw in extra design work for free and I have a deadline and no time to scour the source material or really put my heart into the design No shade to the artist; every complaint I have about the pages we've seen is that this looks like someone who was just working (quickly) from a script. The artist is likely not a Big Fan, so they only know the info and descriptions they're given. And the artist's portfolio shows they're capable of the kind of designs and dynamics this comic needed. its possible they phoned it in for no reason, but feels more likely to be "not enough time/not paid enough/not given enough info to give it that level of care." Which, don't get me wrong; an important level of craftsmanship and care is missing and im not gonna blame the artist but i AM gonna be a hater abt it lmao It's not just about designs; the convo with Joey is another good example. It's a literal illustration of the things Joey said and did in that scene, but it's missing the point -- that scene is our introduction to the way Joey throws Buddy off-balance. That energy is missing. And that's the sort of thing that needs the script to convey this purpose well to the artist, that needs the artist to have time & freedom to invest in portraying it, that needs time & investment & knowledge to ask for adjustments at early stages and get the page right one more note: begging batim fans 2 think abt the plot of DCTL and realise why "maybe we will not make the creepy guy who dies at the end a black man in this" is perhaps a reasonable choice. like im a fan of poc norman headcanons too but pls recognise this would be a tough call!! anyway, genuinely cannot wait to see how off sammy is gonna be in this lmao. will he be a mid non-design like norman or will he be conventionally handsome or will he get graphic novel dave miller vibes b/c hes an antagonist? will we get the fabled black hair sammy??? i cant wait
TL;DR I strongly suspect this was an issue of not enough time/not enough money. That design looks nothing like the description of Norman, right? Like, there's hundreds of different AU designs of all shapes, colours and sizes that you could create that would still look like Norman Polk, but somehow they managed to make a character that isnt ANY of them, lmao??? So... how could that happen, unless nobody gave the artist a description of Norman? Or if they did, how did that design make it past anyone else, unless there wasn't time for revisions or a system worked out for revisions, unless whoever was managing the comic project thought it was fine if the designs didn't fit with the descriptions in the book? If everyone is doing their job, then the artist is given the information they need without having to go do unpaid YA novel research before they can start drawing. That's why you have a writer adapting it!!
("they should hire fans, a fan would've done a better job" OK BUT THATS B/C FANS ARE MORE LIKELY TO ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE EXPLOITED AND DO EXTRA UNPAID WORK B/C THEY CARE!! THATS NOT A SOLUTION!!!! THATS A JOEY DREW STRAT!!!!!!!)
Anyway I could yell about this for 15 years so I'm going to shush for now BUT I JUST FEEL VERY STRONGLY ABOUT IT LMAO.
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gojocp · 1 year
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"now playing:.."
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cw: fluff, angst(??) in itadori's part featuring: gojo satoru, geto suguru, megumi fushiguro, nanami kento, yuuji itadori
a/n: the way i literally deleted all of the fic and had to redo it. also has anyone read the webtoon 'weak hero' cuz im re-reading it and there are literally ZERO fics abt it. also pls lmk if u find any apocalypse-type jjk or aot fics. lmk how this is!! (i think i turned geto in another version of gojo, i literally cannot write for anyone but him its so sad. also i feel like megumi's made no sense LMAO)
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GOJO SATORU: 'always forever' by cults. "you and me.. always, forever!! we could stay.. alone, together!!" ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
"hey, stop! get away suguru!" utahime shouts, running away from the 16 year old. "nope, sorry utahime! no tag-backs!!" he responds, slapping her back and running away.
"fine! screw you!" she shouts, running to haibara and tagging him quickly.
"haibara! get me!" yells suguru, waving his arms. "okay! if you say so!" haibara responds, doing as the upperclassmen says.
"thanks!" he smiles, making a bee-line towards utahime. "stop it! (y/n) help me, please! why aren't you two playing?" she yells.
"we're tired man.." satoru says, resting his head on yours as you lean against his shoulder, eating a popsicle.
"you were sitting there the whole time!" shoko exclaims. "you didn't even do anything." nanami agrees, having yet to be caught.
"if you need some shade you're free to join us." you say. "no thanks, we're actually getting excercise, unlike you guys. so lazy.." suguru responds.
"hey! stop ganging up on us! we'll sit if we want to! get lost!!" satoru shouts.
.・。.・゜✭・.
after 10 minutes of running around some more, the others decide to call it a day and take a seat in the shade of a seperate tree, not wanting to disturb the two of you. and not wanting to deal with satoru complaining.
"hey, this is nice y'know.." satoru starts, "just being alone together, while the others do their own thing. we should do this more often, just the two of us." he continues. "yeah, it's nice." you agree, looking up and placing a kiss on his jaw.
"hey! look at the sunset!" utahime exclaims, directing your attention away from your boyfriend for a moment. "oo, it's so pretty!" you gush.
"yeah," satoru agrees, looking at you. "it is pretty."
0:40 ——|———————— -3:20
GETO SUGURU: 'lovers rock' by tv girl. "and if you're too drunk to drive, and the music is right. she might let you stay, but just for the night" ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
just like any teenager, suguru believes he can hold alcohol pretty well. he can't.
when shoko sneaks alcohol into the dorms, she convinces the 4 of you to try some. of course, satoru boasts about how well he can tolerate alcohol and challenges suguru to a 'drink off', as he says. after taking a few drinks from his glass, satoru is out cold. shoko decides to put the bottle away and take satoru to his room, leaving you with your drunk boyfriend to take care of.
"please get up, sugu. let me take you back to your room." you say, trying to convince him to get off your lap. "nahh, i'm good." he responds, slurring his words.
"okay fine, stay there then." you say, standing up and leaving him to lay on the floor. "wait-! where are you going? don't leave!" he exclaims, standing up too quickly. you move to catch him, swinging one of his arms over your shoulder to support his weight.
"back to your room, suguru," you respond, "that's where we're going."
"no! i don't wanna." he says stubbornly, wrapping his other arm around you. "wait- stop! we're gonna fall!" you shout. "then we can fall..!" he giggles.
"oh my god, you're so stubborn. i'm taking you to my room." you say, slightly agitated. "ooo, didn't know you were like that." he says, wriggling his eyebrows. 'kill me now.' you think, realizing your mistake, knowing he won't leave you alone about it.
"let's hurry to your room then." he says, leaving a sloppy kiss on your cheek.
you drag him to your room and drop him on the bed and head to the bathroom to do your skincare. when you come back, you find him staring at you, love prominent in his eyes.
"hey, cutie." he flirts with a grin on his lips. "shut up and go to bed." you respond.
"ow, so rude." he says, making himself comfortable under the covers.
"i love you.." he says, giving you a wet kiss on the cheek. "i love you too, go to sleep." you say, facing away from him. he wraps an arm around you and pulls you closer, kissing your nape a few times and snuggling into your neck.
"goodnight.." he mumbles, falling asleep soon after. "goodnight, sugu."
1:20 ————|—————— -3:20
MEGUMI FUSHIGURO: 'see you again' by tyler, the creator. "can i get a kiss? and can you make it last forever..." ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
it's not often you and your friends get to hang out, often too busy with school work.
"wooo! i love the beach!" yuuji exclaims, chasing nobara as you all make your way to the sand. upon arriving, itadori quickly takes off his shoes and clothes, leaving him in his swimwear and runs into the water.
"guys!! (y/n)!! nobara!! megumi!! come swim!!" he exclaims, waving his arms. "coming!! wait up!" nobara says, running into the water.
after placing the towels and bags on the sand, you and megumi make your way to the water. "ugh! stop splashing me itadori!" nobara yells, splashing water back at itadori.
stepping into the water, megumi holds his hand out for you. "here." he says, offering you his hand. "thank you." you say, smiling at him. "eww! you guys are gross!" nobara says, splashing you with water as itadori joins in, splashing megumi.
"hey!" megumi scolds, throwing a beachball at itadori. "ow! what the hell?" itadori exclaims, as nobara laughs at him. "don't laugh, nobara!!"
"whatever.." she responds, splashing him again and swimming off. "get back here!" says itadori. "never!!" she retorts, getting splashed seconds later.
.・。.・゜✭・.
"oh god.. i'm so tired.." you say, heading back to the dorms. "i need a massage so bad." you continue. "i could give you one when we're back?" megumi offers, the others not being able to hear over their yells and shouts at each other. "i'd like that, thank you!" you beam, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.
after changing your clothes, you lay down and megumi begins massaging the knots out of your back. letting out a sigh of pleasure, you say, "thank you, megumi.." you say, smiling softly. "anytime." he responds fondly.
after a bit of silence, megumi decides to break it. "you know, sometimes i wonder.." if you look both ways when you cross my mind. "yeah?" you urge him to continue. "no, nevermind.." he replies. "you sure?" you ask. "yeah." he says smiling. "okay.." you say, deciding not to push him.
"i'm done.." he says, moving away and tucking you in. "can i get a kiss?" you ask, as he starts to leave. and can you make it last forever? smiling, he walks over and places a soft kiss on your lips. "goodnight.." he says. "goodnight... i love you." you say, smiling up at him. "i love you too." he says, placing another kiss on your cheek and shutting the door behind him.
2:00 ——————|———— -3:20
NANAMI KENTO: 'for the first time' by mac de marco. "it's just like seeing her.. for the first time..again.." ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
two weeks. it had been two weeks since kento had seen you face-to-face. having to go on a mission out of the country, he wasn't very fond of leaving you alone for a long time. and even though you reassured him over and over, saying "oh, i'll be fine!! don't worry," and "it's only two weeks.. you'll be back in no time." he still worried.
and after two dreadful and godawful (according to him) weeks, he was finally back in japan, handing in his report.
"alright, that's everything. you're free to leave." upon hearing those words, he rushed out and quickly headed home.
"kento?" you asked, when you heard the front door open. "i'm home." he said warmly, with a fond smile etched on his face. 'they're so beautiful, just like when we first met.' running up to him, you wrap your arms around his neck and give him a warm hug, asking "how are you?".
"i'm okay, how have you been?" he asks. "ehh, it's been the same." you respond. squeezes his arms around your waist tighter and places soft kisses on your face.
"what's gotten into you, kento?" you question, laughing softly. "i missed you." he states, placing a final kiss on your forehead. "i missed you too, dear. how about you shower and we can eat? i made your favourite." you say, smiling up at him. "okay.. wait for me, my love." he responds, leaving to go shower.
.・。.・゜✭・.
after eating, you both head to bed and lie down. wrapping your arms around kento, you rest your head on his shoulder and look up at him.
"i missed you kento.." you say sleepily. "i missed you too." he responds. "i love you.." you add, letting sleep engulf you. "i love you too." he whispers, while softly sleeping.
'it's just like seeing her for the first time.. again..'
2:40 ————————|—— -3:20
YUJI ITADORI: "i'll never smile again" by tommy dorsey. 'i'll never smile again...untill i smile at you' ─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
'how did this happen?' he thinks to himself. 'this was supposed to be a grade one curse, where the hell did the special grade come from?'
you and yuuji were paired up to travel to shibuya to excorsise a grade one curse. easy enough, right? WRONG!! like all missions in shibuya, something had to go wrong, and in this case, a special grade appeared. you both tried your best to excorsise it, but all your efforts were futile as you were knocked out, and the curse remained in the city.
it had been two hours since then, another sorceror was sent to excorsise the curse. but yuji didn't care, his partner was unconsious and greatly injured, for heavens sake! you had been impaled in the arm and legs and cursed buds were planted inside you, growing deeper and deeper the more you used cursed energy.
i mean, it was already bad enough that an s grade curse appeared, but know you can't even use cursed techniques? the 15 year old couldn't recall what he had done to deserve this, but that's because he didn't do anything. the world is just cruel.
he couldn't ever imagine smiling or being truly happy in a world without you. you were the love of his life. you were his everything. he couldn't lose you too.
'i'll never smile again, until i smile at you.' he thinks to himself. 'please.. whatever god is up there, please save my partner.. i'm begging you..'
love really is the most twisted curse of all.
3:20 ——————————| -3:20
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fadingdaggerr · 1 year
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Hey can I request a melissa schemmenti x femreader based on season two episode 1.where maybe the reader is rlly stressed out and maybe she can’t park bc Ava is using her parking spot to celebrate the eagles game and maybe mr Johnson comes into to tell the reader her is getting toed away so her,Melissa and the other teachers run outside and maybe the reader is getting angry and shouting at the man,melissa is begging her to calm down.and then she does what Janine did in the actual episode and she gets in the car and try’s to drive off and everyone is telling her to stop and Melissa try’s to get her out the car and out of rage she kicks the car and hurts her foot and then maybe the reader storms back into the school and melissa goes to find her when the school day is over and the reader has a panic attack and Melissa comforts her. Tysm ❤️
delphinium blooms
pairing: melissa schemmenti x gn!reader
summary: request above! i made little changes, mostly just so i wasn’t just rewriting janine’s scene but with r and mel but i hope you still like it :)
warnings: hurt/comfort, r has a morning of unfortunate events, r is kinda mean (to a man so it’s fine), stress/anxiety crying
note: i rewrote so much of this because i kept thinking of things and creating nonsense lmao but i had a lot of fun writing
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development week has always been the calm before the storm. you had everything planned already: each month’s separate decor to keep a lively room, the giant drawing paper for the wall so students could doodle during free time (and you could proudly display their art), and even the seating chart was done. everything was perfect and in order, everything just needed to be set up.
but sometimes the storm comes before the calm, or the calm packs its things and jumps out of the moving car.
the coffee maker in your apartment died on you, only about half a cup of watery coffee in the bottom of the pot. you didn’t have the money, nor the time, to stop that the cafe one block over. rent’s more important, we can get coffee at work, you tell yourself. you soon found that it was nearly unbearable to eat breakfast without your coffee and splash of oat milk creamer. coffee and maybe breakfast at work, i guess.
at nine in the morning, there is a full-on barbecue in the parking lot of abbott elementary. janine’s parking spot was a grill station. your spot, which was two down from janine’s, was currently being used as a blow-up pool splash zone. you roll down your window when you see ava close by.
“ava! what the hell is this?” you yelled out your window.
“it’s a development day party!” the principal responded with a big, happy grin.
you sighed, “your party’s in my parking spot.”
“pay valet or park somewhere else, i have a party to host,” she waves you off as she turns to talk to whoever approached her. after a, give-or-take, nine hundred point turn, you parked your car on the street. you prayed to the meter-maid goddesses that you’d have time to move it before someone came and ticketed you.
you pulled box after box out of the backseat, stacking them in your arms, creating the leaning tower of heavy-as-shit. as you slowly walk towards the fourth grade classrooms, you top few boxes get lifted away, easing the load significantly. you look to see who it was, expecting gregory, but instead you’re met with jade green eyes and fiery hair.
“trynna show off carrying all these?” she says with a laugh.
you laugh with her, “oh, of course. how else am i going to impress the ladies?” melissa snorts a laugh at this, opening the door to your classroom and letting you in ahead of her.
“and who are these ladies?” she jests.
you look at her, taking in the smirk on her face before answering, “we both know it’s just the one.”
she helps you spread out the boxes and get everything open before asking, “ready to head to the opening meeting?”
“you mean the ava show?”
she laughs, “yeah, come on.”
you half-listen to ava’s little speech and flirts to gregory, your eyes trained on melissa’s rings instead of ava’s vacation photos. you only perked your head up when janine mentioned donuts at her little mixer.
“and why would i wanna go to that?” melissa answered janine, barbara nodding in agreement beside her.
“you said donuts?” you ask janine, she nods eagerly, “then count me in teagues, but if there’s no strawberry frosted i’m leaving.”
there was no strawberry frosted. you dropped into a seat next to melissa, who was happily eating a chocolate frosted donut. she sees your pout and offers you a bite, which you accept with a smile. she wiped a blue sprinkle that managed to land on your cheek, the action is enough to make you smile a bit, warmth spreading through your cheeks.
just when you think the worst part of the morning is over, the tried and true mr. johnson walks into the library.
“anyone drive a beat up sedan?” all the hands in the room rise up. “who drives a silver one?” less hands, but still a good amount. “one with a sticker that says ‘if you see this, thank a teacher’ on the bumper?”
janine pipes up, “oh that’s mine!”
“you’re getting boot on your car, young lady,” he answers, and janine immediately is running out with jacob, gregory, and barbara behind her.
“oh and anyone got a green sedan? little cat bobble head on the dash?” mr. johnson speaks up.
melissa turns to look at you before you say, “don’t tell me it’s being booted.”
“course not,” you sigh in minor relief, “you’re about to get towed.”
you’re immediately running out to your car, melissa hot on your trail. you get outside to see a boot placed on janine’s car and the tow guy is rigging your car to the truck.
“aye, back off the car! what are you doing?” you yell, getting close to the tow operator, eric.
“no parking zone, can you read? it’s for the buses. we’re pulling ya,” he says as he continues his work. you groan in anger, walking closer to the car where he had already hooked it up.
“what fucking buses? school hasn’t started yet,” you counter.
“it’s still a bus zone, and you’re still getting towed,” eric says.
before you start throwing hands with the guy, melissa steps in, “how much to not tow the car?”
he laughs, “you can get it back at the lot, should be two hundred. might be three for wasting my time. you’re not getting it back now, it’s parked illegally.”
you see red when he mentions raising the cost, you couldn’t even afford the original one, “wasting your time? your time?! i’m supposed to be in that building making lesson plans for children who will be here next week, and i’m wasting your time?”
“yeah, you are. now move your ass or i’ll move you,” the man answers angrily.
you bravely taunt him, “try then.”
“sweetheart…” melissa tries to reach for your arm, but you step just out of reach.
barbara and gregory say your name at the same time, both of their tones advising caution. melissa is stuck between wanting to help and letting you just handle it. she wearily watches as you squat down and start undoing clasps and hooks, taking the chains off the car. you’re movements are fast, getting two wheels free from the rigs.
“hey! you can’t be touching that!” eric yells once he hears the disconnect. he stomps over to you and grabs your arm, harshly yanking you away from the car with a tight grip. “stupid little shit,” he mutters.
“touch me again and i’ll break your fingers,” you threaten, and by the look on your face, melissa knows you’re serious. now is when she has to step in, she knows that much.
“twenty bucks says our scrappy-doo over here wins!” ava yells over, holding her phone up, ready to record if you followed through.
“not helping ava!” barbara and melissa shout at the same time.
melissa moves to gently wrap her arms around you from behind, pulling you away from your car and away from the tow guy. when you try to pull away, she tightens her hold, muttering to you to calm down and slow your breathing. you’re irritated, and melissa can feel you shaking against her. she knows you’re using your anger to coverup how much you want to cry.
once the car is all set, the man speaks to melissa only, “here’s the address of where to pick it up. and thanks for keeping your dog,” he pointedly looks at you, “on its leash.”
once he drives off with your car, melissa releases you slowly. your chest rises and drops with every unsteady breath, and you groan loudly. immediately, and without much thought, you repeatedly kick the stone wall around the entrance, even when pain strikes after the first one.
“sweetheart. baby, stop…” melissa grabs you again, “you’re going to hurt yourself.” barbara ushers away everyone else, giving the the redhead space to calm you.
it took a few moments for your breathing to slow, but when it stuttered, melissa turned you in her arms and hugged you tightly. your face instinctively tucked itself away in the junction of her neck and shoulder, your arms firm around her waist. you could feel her arm around your shoulders, the other rubbing soothing circles on your back and she swayed from side to side, in hopes the motion would help you focus your breathing.
“baby?” melissa asks with a hushed tone.
you pull away from her to sniffle but tuck back into her skin before answering, “i can’t afford a cup of coffee. i can’t afford a new coffee maker. i haven’t eaten since we had dinner last night. and this half-wit just stole my car and put it up for ransom, because there was a pool in my parking spot.”
the accumulation of everything from today being said aloud made fresh tears fall from your eyes. melissa held you tighter, whispering soothing words to you even if they fell on deaf ears. after you’ve calmed down again, she coaxes you back so you can see your face. her hands hold your face delicately, thumbs stroking away left behind tears.
“i will hand deliver you coffee every morning until you find a new coffee maker,” she says making you huff through your nose, “and i’ll buy you lunch, maybe make you dinner too, if you want,” she sees you perk up at the offer, “and i’ll stab a hole in the pool.” you laugh for real this time, making melissa smile. these days, she found that making you laugh was her favorite thing to do.
“what abo-” you start, but melissa cuts you off.
“oh, you’re not paying a dime,” you go to tell her not to pay it, but she’s ahead of you. “and neither am i, trust me. i could pull a uncle carlo and get them to give me three hundred bucks, for my time.”
you shake your head, “you bringing the bat or just that cute face?”
melissa cheeks grew rosy at your words, “you were crying five minutes ago and now you’re flirting?” you nod, biting your lip, but still waiting for an answer. she gives in, “the bat will be stay in the car unless they really deserve it. scout’s honor.”
you laugh and press a kiss to her cheek, mumbling against her skin, “thank you.”
she turns her face, pressing her forehead against yours with her eyes closed. she leans in and presses a sound, loving kiss to your lips, then your cheek, then the other, a final one placed on your forehead. she holds your face once more, “you needed me, and i was there. you don’t have to thank me, i love you. it’s what i’m supposed to do.”
you kiss her again, very quickly, then say, “i love you, too.”
after she bought you lunch, she didn’t drive you straight back to abbott. no, melissa was parked in front of market street towing company. she wordlessly got out of the car, but motioned for you to stay when you went to undo your seatbelt. you just watched her walk away nervously until she disappeared inside.
two songs and one radio ad later, you see your car pulling out of the fenced lot, melissa behind the wheel. you jumped out of the car as she got out of yours, grabbing her tightly.
“oh my god, thank you, thank you, thank you,” you say excitedly, only hearing her laugh a bit.
“no one was harmed, except maybe a couple egos,” she says before pulling back to drop your keys in your hands. “we still on for dinner?”
you grab her chin between your forefinger and thumb, bringing her lips to yours in a slow kiss. when you pull away, you revel in her stunned look, and it’s just too tempting to kiss her again, but she beats you to do. she breaks the kiss for air, and you speak quietly in the small space between you, “dessert, too.”
i hope u like this anon and i hope i did ur vision justice <3 feedback appreciated as always
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