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#its fine if u dont rly look at it to much
bunny-j3st3r · 9 months
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Hey @strawberryhospice I hope you don't mind but I saw those pics of Spry and I
fell in love with him and knew I had to draw him
I kept mistaking your last picture of him as holding a knife when I wasn't wearing my glasses so I felt the need to make that real.
Please look at Spry I love him.
None gif and no text version under cut.
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alienaiver · 25 days
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not me realizing what caused my flare up and why it hasnt gotten better 😭😭
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surreal-duck · 2 years
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messing around a bit
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#delete later#man i havent rly drawn for myself in a while it feels weird#trying to play around w my style lately but i dont think its getting anywhere whwhkjsdghjdg#shoutout to yuzuru if nobody's got me after burning out all of my creative juices ik hes got me#should probably go to sleep early tonight got assigned another project to work on through next week at my internship 😔#still going through a very mixed feelings stage regarding on how i see my art but ill live i guess#just. nothing is good enough. im never gonna be satisfied. i think this looks fine. this is the worst thing ive ever seen and made.#im gonna fall behind. it isnt a race. everyones already far ahead. maybe this is okay. why are you satisfied with this much its not enough.#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa being an artist am i right ! agony#well i guess lately its not that i just havent been drawing things for me but more like i cant for some reason. burnouts an asshole#even though i really really did want to make things it honestly sucked ass not being able to i rly dont know what id do if i cant draw#actually took some time for myself yesterday and walked around town a bit it was nice. pierced my ears again and treated myself#but as consequence of course i am now broke </3 unfortunate#hmmmmm idk what im saying kdjsjgdhhskgjdhsdg hope things r going well for everyone else if you're even reading this! may u have a good week#man i wish i just knew if things are gonna be okay#hngggg baru aja tiga bulan masuk balik sekolah sama udah secapek ini wkwkwkwkkwkwk payah gk sih gw ini#masih setahun lebih sampe lulus juga head in hands kenapa gk bisa tidur buat seminggu aja aaagh#ya yang penting juga gw masih hidup sih gk mau kemana-mana kyk gini#aaaaaaaaa gk mau masuk studio besokkkk mau tidurrrr#me when i have to do my job at work#i wonder what i should make for lunch and dinner tomorrow. knowing me though ill end up falling asleep as soon as i get out of the shower#sorry this is. all over the place props if you're even reading this far LOL apologies you have to see me rant a bit
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ech0light · 2 years
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u ever look back on a situation you were in and think to yourself “Damn That Was Kinda Fucked Up Actually.”
#[tldr if im being noticeably anxious on discord its just The Horrors dw abt it]#not rly a vent but i kinda just wanna talk about this#(lying)#feel free to not read the tags lol#so like. last year i was friends with this person on discord right#she was about about a year older than me and lived in canada (<-- unessential info)#we met thru some discord server and started talking more. which was going fine#i helped her with some art project she was doing and it was nice to be able to talk to someone during lockdowns#but as we grew closer i sort of became her 24/7 emotional support??? i guess?????#thats what it felt like#so like she had a lot of shit goin on right. like her family was abusive; she was depressed; she wasnt able to keep friends;#like it was a whole thing#i dont wanna give too much detail cause its someone elses shit but u get the idea#anyway i ended up becoming one of her few friends that she could talk to regularly. it was alr for a bit but it just became draining#like she would SEMI REGULARLY just talk at me saying how depressed she was and how shed considered offing herself before#textbook traumadump style#of course that wasnt her fault i dont wanna make her look like the bad guy here but. still#worst part of it was that her anxiety would spike big time if the person she was messaging was online and didnt respond within 5-10 minutes#like 24/7#which just made those moments way worse cause i am SHIT at offering comfort /especially/ at that age#so it just became this huge stressor for the both of us whenever she started something like that#for the last couple months before we cut it off id considered just telling her i didnt want to be friends anymore BUT#id seen in real time her other online friends cutting her off with their reasoning being she was too much to handle#and i didnt want to make her feel worse than she already felt. and i feel bad for saying this but she was genuinely too much to handle#thankfully she was the one who cut it off first (her reasoning she was jealous that i didnt have abusive parents and could keep friends)#literally the few days after we stopped talking i felt WAY less default stressed and i realised our friendship was taking a toll on us both#i still feel bad about this but she tried messaging me a few weeks later asking if we wanted to be friends again and i just. blocked her#i was in fuckin Survival Mode after realising how fucked up the situation was. 20/20 hindsight. and i just didnt want to go back#i shouldve actually talked to her and explained how i felt but. oh well i guess#but yeah we stopped talking a year ago and i think im still a bit fucked up from it lol
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faaun · 2 years
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eye pain is the WORST kind . worse than teeth even maybe
#esp when u cant rub ur eyes or itll maoe things worse#typing this w my eyes closed i hope it is comprehensible#anyway whwt the FUCK i am in so much pain from one eye only and its like . im aftaid#the flap they made during frmto lasik has moved or smthb. and itll wont end#bc whenever i open my eyes/blink iy is painful#resolved to do that very rarely . anyway eave me x . avcording to my doctor/surgeon i actually had#a scar that was imperceptible initially on each eye and thats why thos whole thing has been so#excruciatingly painful . like apparently ur notnsupposed to rly feel anythiny in femto lasik but it was#literally the worst pain i have ever felt in my whole life (i have a rly high pain tolerebce due to reasons);#anyway i have a feeling this may be due to the wounds/scars too idk...#also i had fat grafting to fill in my under eyes and like . it was suchba slight procedure and was done when i was under#anaesthesia for another procedure...that i forgot abt it. bc i dont rly touch my under eyes. anyway during lasik they#use this device which puts pressure around ur eye sockets which ahould have been fine#but it was putting a lot of pressure on a newly grafted area of my face and i was like . oh i see ! i want to scream !!!!!#but i couldnt say anything bc it was cutting a hole in my eyes and i was like yeah talking rn is a bad idea. but afterwards the nurse was#like . you look like you are literally going to pass out oh my god are you ok ?? and i told her abt the under eye thing and she was like.#YOUBSHOULD HAVE SAID THAT EARLIER like yeah ik im sorry 😭#personal#anyway lol its fine i just want to rub my left eye sooooo bad it is so . annoying /painful UGH
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nomairuins · 2 months
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i am okay tho i just have momeys sometimrs . please do not ever worry abt me guys
#i rly rly rly appreciate any asks u guys send me truly i usually hold onto then bc i dont know how to respond and rheyre good to see#sometimes#but im not in any danger i rly am. safe. i have a lot of things keeping me from doing That so. i am safe. dw.#i just get sad a lot. and its my fault i need 2 judt stop it and suck it uo and Work on it all but its so. insurmountable. and it judt#doesnt get easier yk. it never does. whatsver.#but. anyways i am safe i am okif it got to the point i was like. fearful for my life thatd either be The delusion (which is actually good#for me i cant explain it but its good for me) or i coulf talk to my family abt it and theyd help#i just cant talk to them abt This. stuff. the like. the being broken stuff and just not being right#i cant talk to any of them abt that. but if i said hey im genuinely faarful i miggjt do something they would um. help. so its okay#idk. i hope the posts dont seem like i make them for pity i rly dont this blog is just my stream of consciousness#ik i just shouldnt post them and i should judtkeeo a diary but i dont um. how to explain thid#even if nobody sees it it feels better to make a tumblr post bc then it feels like. a performance i guess. its not its real but its like#if i put it somewhere other ppl can see it then that means i exist. thats not quite right but i dont know how to articulate like#i dont nexessarily want ppl to see them i find it embarassing i guess. but it feels dishonest to not post them#since i post everything else. bc i like being open online it makes me think im real. does that make sense#and there are timestamps so i know when things happen. thsts modtly how i remember things#is looking at my blog and checking dates and timestamps. and for older stuff i have to check my dms with ykw. which. is not good for.me at#all. but ihave no other way to remember dayes#i dont know. im rly sry i hate podting vents but i dont like deleting posts eithrr so j dont know oike. idk.#just idk know they arent like. They are serious they are how i feel and i usually make them ehen im in distress#but its not dangerous distress i judt get hopeless. yk? i dont wanr anybody to worry abt me ever im not supposed to be a burden#i dont knoe. i havent articulated anything well. basicallt i dont do rhem for attention i dont do them for like. guilttripping or pity#i dont rly do them for any reason other than irs pure word vomit. i suppose. and tumblr is my wordvomit website. i judt get on here and yap#and it makes me feel so much worse but i get better eventually so its fine.
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toastsnaffler · 5 months
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ohhhhh my god girl i don't careeeee
#love my roommate but urghhhh. sorry they dont make enough fictional female characters that interest u but u dont need to justify it to me#write your mlm its literally fine. sorry but ur not gonna gain my respect or approval by defending why u write more mlm than wlw#i dont care if u have equal amounts of each or not LOL we just have different tastes thats all there is to it#and I KNOOOOOOWWWW she writes femslash too im not denying that !!!!!!#most of my fav media is lesbian centric bc I have a strong connection to my identity as a dyke. so i gravitate towards things that explore-#that + complex relationships to gender + its social enforcement etcetc. and its easier for me to get attached to characters that i can-#connect with bc we have shared experiences or the world percieves us in similar ways or we percieve the world in similar ways etc#and shes said she DOESNT feel particularly attached to her sexuality in that way. so ofc shes not going to be looking for the same things-#in media and thats OKAY!!#literally have nothing against her writing gay men i like some fictional mlm relationships myself!! and its cool that she enjoys it#i just find it disappointing that we dont have much in common taste-wise bc thatd be more fun to talk abt#but thats why i come on tumblr dot com.. to talk abt fictional women w dykes who understand them like i do amen#and im happy to listen to her talk abt things she likes and projects shes clearly enjoying working on like thats awesome love to hear it#but sometimes its like shes trying to persuade me abt smth but theres nothing to persuade. i dont knooooow#like ik shes not trying to get me into her interests she already has plenty of friends who are. but theres no approval to win from me???#i think im just annoyed bc i feel like i cant rly talk abt the things im into w her bc she disliked them so much#and also annoying to be around someone who shares an identity w me but is clearly more uncomfortable w it than i am#maybe thats not even true actually the real reason im annoyed is bc ive had a long and exhausting week and im coming down from-#my first day on new meds and im soooo so so tired have i sajd that already. and my head hurts#and i want a fucking hug and im just projecting my lack of physical and emotional intimacy onto her bc she happens to be the person i-#spend the most time with. but thats really unfair of me its not her fault or obligation at all. ah i just want to shower and sleeeepp#and tomorrow day 2 of meds im gonna get so much shit done!!!!!!!! i hope.. i wanna finish drafting my comic too teehee#wouldnt it be so crazy if now im medicated i might actually be able to start and finish projects i reallyyyy want to do..#well i wont get my hopes up yet#anyway........#another day another 5 million tag rambling post complaining abt everything. and dont expect me to ever stop 😚#.diaries#literally why would i care abt the tastes of a girl whose fave character in tlt was naberius........#she rly had to pick one of the ONLY men and not even one of the particularly interesting ones. and shes not even straight???? her loss 🙄
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real-life-cloud · 9 months
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i love palia but the way account syncing works is dogshit
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nomaishuttle · 10 months
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very few ppl understand how difficult it is to be a girl who would be so into horror movies if watching skin get punctured or cut wasnt The most horrible experience for me
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cryptidapprentice · 1 year
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man,,,
#marine myths rambles#in the tags#dating app diary#i feel so bad bc now that i AM getting matches on these freakin apps i have to Talk and Make Conversation and ideally Meet Up and its like..#suddenly i am Not In The Mood actually. to talk OR hang out. n i feel BAD bc these seem like nice ppl!!! who id love to at least befriend!!!#(i have bumble n im not listed as looking for anything particular so friendship is in fact an option)#or maybe even smthn more!!! but like. idk why suddenly as soon as i get a match its like '...oh. hmm. idk if i wanna talk actually' 😭😭#like if i had to guess id say its my gd OCD avoidance response thats making me not wanna do the Hard Thing (Talking) but its also like...#...do i rly wanna meet My Person this way?? CAN i rly meet my person this way???? like so much of my whole desire to date someone is like-#-getting along suuuuper well as friends n being able to click personality n humorwise n shit n THEN im like 'oh id love to date this person-#this person'* im not retyping all tht lol#but being on an app kinda takes tht away for me?? ig im just not made for like. online/internet dating :V#bc i think that Click has to be like. In Person for me to reach that point yk?? like i could click w ppl online n be friends fine!! but like#if we meet in person and that irl interaction isnt like the online interactions (which its usually Not just bc of the nature of Online..)#and we dont Click the same way... its like... man... i dont think we can be romantic partners WHICH I FEEL BAD ABT bc its like.#i dont wanna lead anyone on... so it sucks if we click online but i dont feel that same Click in person 🥲🥲#idk maybe im just not emotionally ready to date?????? ugh ig ~24yrs of being single'll do tht to a person 🥲🥲#feel free to dm me w like. advice or smthn if u read all this n have smthn to say 🤷🏽‍♀️ i cant guarantee ill respond (bc im shy 🥴)#BUT ill def read n consider ur words i prommie (also sometimes i dont respond bc idk what to say 😖 but im not ignoring i see u n i hear u)#(not in a creepy literal way. in a figurative way.)
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choccy-milky · 17 days
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A few months back, I asked if it was okay to write using Clora and Seb. Finished the work - thought I'd lost it on my hard drive and a virus scan located it.
Not sure if it's sad or happy, but the basic premise of it is Clora getting frustrated/upset at Sebastian and Sebastian comforting her, Sebastian getting upset at a predicament Clora's in and Clora comforting him, and them both getting frustrated/upset and having to comfort each other.
If you'd rather I didn't post it, that's fine too, but just wanted to test the waters and double check that you'd be okay with it if I gifted it to you via AO3, or see if you wanted a sneak peak of it before posting it.
OMG im so happy you were able to find it and recover the work you did!!😭🙏 AND YES OF COURSE YOU CAN POST IT AAA I CANT WAIT TO READ IT!! you can DM it to me first if you want, but i also dont mind if you post it straight away on ao3!! IM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT SM AAARGHHHA💖💖💖IT SOUNDS ANGSTY WE LOVE THE HURT/COMFORT I HOPE MY HEART CAN HANDLE IT🥺💖💖TY AGAIN FOR USING CLORA AND SEB AND TAKING THE TIME TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT THEM😭
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@sunshine-goblin AAA THANK YOU!!! im honoured its your fav fanfic AND ALSO THE LONGEST YOUVE READ BAHAHAA fr, when you say its as long as four books in lotr it rly makes me realize how insane i am😃👍 aw IM GLAD I COULD INSPIRE YOU TO DRAW MORE AND WRITE AS WELL😭 I was curious so i creeped you and everyone go look at their HL blog @sunshines-legacy your MC is so cute and so is your art🥹💖 as for tips on writing a longfic and brainstorming and motivation and stuff, my motivation was my brainrot and unhappiness with the canon story/ending LMAOO, and looking at the story of the game and playing around with what i was unhappy with/what i WISHED could have happened instead, was a lot easier than just coming up with plotlines from scratch. but something i highly recommend is just OUTLINING and making a timeline, one of my fav parts of writing was just putting on some cafe ambience in the background and doing stream of conscious type word documents where id just barf ideas and then worry about making it pretty later....like look at how many versions of the same chapter i have BAHAHA or like different renditions bc i couldnt decide if id wanna keep a scene/what order, so id make a timeline and keep smoothing things out until i was happy with it and whatnot
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brainstorming is defs my fav part of the process and the most helpful part to me. just getting a blank document and writing stuff you want to happen without worrying about how it connects to the story, and then a lot of the times as i was doing that id just keep going and it would kinda tie itself together/id come up with a solution as i was writing / once the ideas kept flowing. so basically : TIMELINES AND OUTLINES I VERY MUCH RECOMMEND, but very low pressure and barebones ones. for example, this is what my outlines/brainstorming look like
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its honestly just me talking to myself LMAO, and a lot of the time ill interject and be like "OH YEAH AND THEN THIS CAN HAPPEN" as the ideas come while im writing BAHAHA. its a super fun process and honestly nothing feels better than just getting hit with that flash of inspo, and since its all very low effort theres no pressure to actually write well and its just a chill fun time AND GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR OWN PROCESS / WRITING💖💖💖it can be difficult but HOPE U HAVE FUN TOO💖💖
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@a-little-lysdexic WAIT REALLY?? LMFAOO OMG THATS CRAZY....SAME BRAIN...🤝🤝...that would trip me up so much if i were you omg BAHHAHA but aside from having similar tastes in names, IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART AS WELL, TYY💖💖💖
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THANK YOUUU im glad you're liking it!!! and that its taking over your life BAHAHA💖💖 the video you're thinking of was by @silverxstardust for chapter 13 of my fic, and you can watch the video here! (AND TY AGAIN TO SILVERXSTARDUST FOR DOING THIS!)
youtube
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louscartridge · 2 years
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hii i’m not sure if it ever sent but i was wondering if i could request something cute with soul where you put his hair in pigtails or something. thank u!!!
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i do not give permission for my fics to be posted claiming to be yours, translated, or posted on another platform.
soul x gn reader
cw- not rly anything besides that fact that soul was like kinda over working himself with studying and reader calls soul 'babe' once.
a/n- LMFAOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. also the beginning of this was write on a phone so sorry if it looks weird lmaoo.
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You've been sitting on souls lap for maybe a good hour by now, his chin resting on your shoulder.
The two of you have been studying almost all day, but you gave up a while ago. Soul, however, was way more keen on continuously studying.
You sat still for the most part, the only time you would move slightly was when soul had to move himself to turn the page in his book or write something down.
Soul removed his hand from the small of your back once again and wrote something down.
“oh my god” he sighed, burying his face into your collarbone.
You lean back, his head falling from you, your lower back, hitting the desk.
“Take a break, yeah?” you whisper, caressing his neck and jaw.
"but i have to get this done." soul whispers back, earning a glare from you. he sighs. "ok fine. but! let me finish the rest of this, and then ill stop. i promise!"
"ok. sure, whatever you say." you reply doubtfully, taking your hands off his neck and put them into his hair.
soul was dedicated to begin with, but with all the added pressure from fnc and himself at that, he felt like he couldnt stop. no matter how stressed it made him, no matter how much you and keeho nagged him to stop for just a second, he insisted he needed to continue if he wanted to communicate with his peers better and all.
news flash! he didnt stop.
"what are you doing?" soul asked as he felt you parting his hair with your nail.
"if you are going to be oh so keen on studying, im gonna make it so you cant continue." you reply leaning foward again.
"y/n, i cant see"
"its almost like thats the entire point."
you comb through the left side of his hair with your fingers and twist one of the hair ties you have on your wrist around souls hair, making a little pony tail.
"oh my god are you seriously putting my hair in pigtails right now?"
"yep." you giggle doing the same thing to the left side.
"happy now?" he asks smiling.
"are you done studying for tonight?"
"honestly i dont even remember where i left off so i guess. its just gonna be hard to find-"
you cut him off. "yes or no babe."
'"yes." soul conforms
"then yes, im happy now" you smile shaking his pigtails.
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spiderlandry · 1 year
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Yes, Chef — ethan landry
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Description: The most loving thing one could do is cook for someone else. Ethan finds out it’s your love language.
Pairing: Ethan Landry x GN!Reader
Warnings: implication that reader is shorter than ethan, no ghostface, amber was reader’s ex but it’s only a small mention, lmk if there’s any warnings i should add !! there may be some errors since i only edited this once
Word Count: 3k
Author’s note: i wrote with a poc reader in mind, and much of reader’s experience with cooking is based off my own
Chad is starting to get worried. Exams are in a month, and even though everyone he knows is working hard to prepare, it’s like Ethan is studying as if exams are next week. Chad thinks he can even hear his roommate talking in his sleep sometimes.
He wakes up to Ethan being up at the crack of dawn, a large cup of coffee in hand and deeper bags under his eyes than yesterday.
So, yeah, it’s concerning.
He already tried to coax him into taking more care of himself, but Ethan waves it off. He’s tried other things: getting Sam to scold him, try to get him to go out and party so he’ll get tired, having Quinn threaten him.
If nothing happens, he may resort to putting sleeping pills in Ethan’s coffee.
However, there is one more thing.
You.
Ever since Ethan was introduced to the rest of his friends which included you, he’d been paying more attention to his appearance and how he’s perceived. At first Chad thought he might’ve had a crush on Tara, but Ethan slipped up one time when he not very casually asked if you were going to a group hangout, a few weeks ago.
Chad can use that knowledge to his advantage, he realizes.
Knowing you since freshman year of high-school, you’re a naturally caring person, though can be quiet or a little closed off especially since the Woodsboro murders in which you discovered that your ex-girlfriend was one of the killers.
Your gentle nature, along with his crush, can surely save Ethan from burning himself out so much that he’ll show up to finals only a skeleton, right? Hopefully.
Chad prays he’s right as he sends you a text, Friday evening.
Chad
Hey, can I ask a favor
                    depends
Might be a little weird but u know how ethan has been studying rly hard?
                    yeah u said u were worried. is he ok?
Yeah he’s fine mostly. Im just worried so Im asking if you can
like
Ask him to hang out or something
                    ? why
                     not that i would mind but why
Youre the one he would say yes to I already tried other stuff to get him to relax but man looks like hes about to pass out
Idk I have a feeling its more than about school but its not my place and I think he would open up to u
You know he has a crush on u right
                      i dont believe u but ill do it
Bro dont even act like u dont like him too
                      shut up
You roll your eyes at your phone, already coming up with a plan for a way to get Ethan to chill out. That’s when you think of it.
Ethan allows himself to sleep in during the weekends. But when he wakes up at 11 AM to a text from you that was sent at six, he immediately regrets it.
He opens his phone to read it.
hey i have this new recipe i wanna try but i need a second opinion
wanna come over after work? i get off at 5
He rubs his eyes, making sure he’s reading it right. You? Inviting him? To come over to your place alone?
He’s not proud of the way he gapes at the message for a long moment before he can answer, responding with a ‘sure!’ despite the word not conveying his excitement mixed with the worry at the pit of his stomach. Why are you inviting him alone? He can’t let himself think that it’s anything other than friendliness, right? But you only invited him, so it must mean something.
He rushes to his closet to pick out his outfit, already forgetting about the unfinished page of notes on his desk.
Ethan has known you for a good few months, since the beginning of the school year. But at this point, he’s memorized your smile and your voice, becoming less subtle as time goes on. He pays attention to every single thing you’ve said about yourself, including but not limited to how you almost went to culinary school. He remembers how you once baked a cake for Tara’s birthday, not only the batter from scratch but also the buttercream frosting. He smiles at the memory of you showing the group how to make pasta one night.
To say he’s excited is an understatement.
He doesn’t even bother getting his coffee this time so his breath doesn’t smell like it.
Chad notices that Ethan’s usual cup is still in the cupboard, mentally patting himself on the back for getting the idea to reach out to you.
It’s not long until it’s almost five, and Ethan is walking the few blocks over to your apartment, enjoying the wind. He knows not to show up empty handed, so he stops at a bodega to buy your favourite chips.
You‘d gotten home a little early due to your workplace not being too busy, thankfully. You start prep, laying out the ingredients. The knock from your door reaches your ears a few minutes later, and knowing it’s Ethan you open the door.
You’re greeted with a bag of chips to your face, taking it and seeing Ethan have a slight upturn at the corner of his lips. You mirror his expression, albeit with a wider smile (you can’t help it), letting him into your apartment. He sits down at the breakfast bar facing into the kitchen, while you stand on the other side facing him.
This isn’t the first time he’s been here, but it is the first time he’s here alone. With you. He tried to get rid of the images in his head of him being over at your place every day because you want him to be there. He can’t think like that, not now when you’re beaming up at him while you showcase the ingredients on the kitchen counter, your sentences going into one ear and out the other.
“…Ethan?” Your brows are furrowed, not knowing if he’s paying attention. You quickly catch that he’s not—he has to think for a moment about what to say.
“Uhm—“ he clears his throat. “Sorry, I wasn’t listening. What?” He mentally cringes at himself. He’s sure you’d think he’s not interested and oh god, what if you think he doesn’t want to be there?
You laugh lightly. “I said do you like steak? I mean, I probably should’ve asked, but—“ You’re glad he stops your ramble before it goes any further.
“I like it, don’t—don’t worry.”
“Okay, good. Because this would’ve been awkward.”
Ethan is determined not to let any weird silences happen, so he continues despite not knowing what to say. His curiosity gets the best of him. “Not that I don’t want to, but why did you invite me here? I mean…just me.”
You try to brush it off, coming up with an excuse. “I invited Tara, but she couldn’t make it.” You turn back to the ingredients to get started.
He’s glad you’re not facing him to see his shoulders practically deflate finding out that he’s not the first choice. He’s not sure why he got his hopes up so much.
Before he can say anything else, you interrupt his train of thought. “Wanna help?”
He stands up quickly, eager. “What do you need?”
Truthfully, you’d made this dish a thousand times before that you could do it in your sleep. You’re not about to try anything new when your main objective is to take Ethan’s mind off things.
“How are you with knives?” You ask, taking out a chef’s knife from the knife holder. His eyes widen, begrudgingly taking the object from your hand.
“This is gonna sound—nevermind,” He shakes his head.
“Tell me.”
“I’ve never had to…cook before.”
“Oh,” you sigh. “That’s fine. Do you not want the knife?”
“I do! I just—how do I use it?”
You smile, an image he wishes was burned into his mind. You slide the cutting board toward you, putting a handful of asparagus in the middle.
Ethan can’t help but stare at your hand at the way you delicately go through the motions of cutting, slowly to make sure he sees it. You show him how to trim the asparagus, and you give him back the knife to try.
A spark tingles throughout his hand when you put yours on it to guide him.
“Just trim all of these. Got it?”
He nods.
You prepare the steak on a separate cutting board alongside him.
“Can I ask why you’ve been studying so hard, E?”
The nickname isn’t lost on him, but he tries his best to ignore it before he accidentally cuts himself.
“Finals next month,” He says curtly.
“Is that the truth?”
“Does it matter?”
“It does to me. But I’m not trying to force you.”
He pauses. “Can we change the topic?”
You nod, “You pick. Turns out I’m terrible at conversation. Can you fill up a pot of water for the mini potatoes? And put some salt in it.”
“How long have you been cooking?” He puts the asparagus in the bowl they were previously in and doing as you say. With the way he gets the question out so fast, you’d think he’d been thinking about it.
“As a kid, I was around a lot of people who knew how to cook,” you begin while you prepare a pan on the stove, melting the butter. “I learned from them. International dishes, mainly. Lots of spices. But I moved to New York and started working in a kitchen when I was sixteen, so I learned about some European pastries and white people food.” You chuckle.
There’s something with the way you talk about food that makes his chest warm. It’s unfamiliar, but a welcome feeling nonetheless. It’s different from how you talk about other things—this one feels more intimate.
You continue. “I think you know, but I almost went to culinary school.”
He does know. He wonders why you didn’t go.
“I took cooking classes as an elective at my high-school. I was lucky they offered that. Senior year, I was a stage for some really pretentious restaurants—y’know, mainly as a server, but I got to know how the kitchen worked.”
He hasn’t even noticed that the butter is almost all melted on the pan and you’ve put some rosemary and thyme on it until you pause to turn to him.
You grab the cutting board with the steak on it, placing it next to the stove.
“They were the kinds of places that served small portions for high prices.” You stared at the stove, turning up the heat.
“Why didn’t you go to culinary school?” He timidly asks.
“The people,” You say it so quietly at first that he almost missed it. “I met people who made the kitchen pretty much unbearable. There was shouting…lots of it, actually. The crazy high standards. They didn’t shout at me, but seeing it from the sidelines was worse…somehow? I don’t know.”
He finds himself wanting to have a stern word with whoever made you feel that way about something you so clearly love.
He’s about to ask another question before you interrupt him.
You pick up the steak from the board, motioning for him to come closer. “Always lay away from you,” you say. “Otherwise you splash oil on yourself, ‘kay?”
He nods. He continues with his question. “Do you regret it?”
He doesn’t realize how heavy of a question it is until after he says it, and he’s going to retract his statement but you respond.
“No, actually, I don’t.”
There’s a sweetness in your voice that’s hard to catch, but for Ethan’s ears, it’s as if they’ve been attuned to your tone.
“If I went to culinary school, I would’ve started to hate it—“ You grab the tongs, using it to push the sides of the steak to the pan, “—That’s searing. You seal in the juices when the surface browns, see that?—“
When he nods, you proceed.
“I grew up believing that cooking was a way to care about people, you know? Like a love language. And If I made cooking my career, that’s not what it would be for me. Does that make sense?”
“Yeah, yeah. It does.”
Once all the sides are seared, you grab a spoon and you slightly tilt the pan, using the utensil to coat the steak in the melted butter. “That’s basting. So it doesn’t lose moisture. Every time you flip a steak, it loses moisture, so just do it once.”
He thinks he’s getting repetitive when he nods once more to show that he’s actually listening.
It’s not long until the steak is done, and he’s excited to get it on the plate but instead, you put it on a baking sheet and cover it in tin foil.
“You’re next.”
His head snaps up toward you, sputtering, “What?”
“Do you want to learn?”
“Yeah—“
“Then get to work.” You smirk, and he’d be lying if he said that didn’t awaken something in him. You point to the other steak in the packaging.
He tries to remember the steps you did, but you do have to remind him what to do occasionally.
You’re standing close to him, almost hovering, but he doesn’t mind one bit. In fact, he almost leans in instinctively when you bring your hand up to his face and pushes his curls out of his face.
“You’re doing good,” you whisper.
It takes everything inside him not to collapse right there. He’d give everything to feel your hand on his face again.
You’ve set two plates on the counter. The mini potatoes were boiled nicely, and you cut them swiftly in half (a feast for Ethan’s eyes). Ethan watches while you quietly as you carefully plate the food, and he can’t help but look around him. The used pan, the knives, cutting boards, you plating the food—there’s an element of domesticity.
It’s in the way you flash a smile directed at him and only him, in the comfort of your own home, after you’ve just cooked together. He imagines a future where it’s like this every night.
You open the fridge, grabbing out two sodas. As you turn around Ethan is surprisingly close to you.
Only a few inches away.
He slowly takes the cans from you, setting it on the space next to him. All as if he’s about to wake a sleeping dragon if he were to move too quickly.
“Why are you doing this?” He asks, almost in a pleading whisper. His eyes are boring into yours, and you can’t bring yourself to look away.
“I told you.” Your tone mirrors his. “Cooking is a way to take care of someone, and I care about you.”
He doesn’t know what possesses him to do the next thing.
He brings himself closer to you, not breaking the eye contact.
Suddenly, everything makes itself known. Your breathing, shallower than his, anticipating his next move. The way your clothes touch. The cold air coming from the fridge.
He brings his hand to touch your jaw, it’s a feather-like sensation as his digits make contact with your skin. “Is this okay?”
You gulp and nod, unable to find the words.
“Need to hear you say it.”
In the lowest whisper, “Yes.”
He lifts your chin, tilting his head.
It’s a tiny pause until you’re the one taking the leap, closing the small distance and slotting your lips against his.
Everything falls away, and nothing else matters. His lips are soft. You feel his large hands go to your neck and you wrap your arms around his torso, trying to get impossibly closer.
You’re the first to pull away and you grin when he chases your lips.
“Hi,” You beam. “W—what was that for?”
“You tell me,” he smiles.
You anticipate the night to end when you’re both finished the food and the drinks, and you’ve cleaned up the kitchen.
But neither of you want it to end.
You cross your arms, facing Ethan who’s reluctantly about to open the door.
“Wanna stay?”
He turns around, tilting his head like a cute puppy. “Thought you’d never ask.”
That’s how you found yourselves cuddling on the couch, a new show on your television.
“I have to tell you something,” you whisper, eyes still on the screen.
“Hm?”
“Chad told me to ask you to hang out.” You grimace. “And before you say anything, I didn’t invite you just because of him. I was worried about you too.” You look up at him, the proximity comfortable rather than awkward.
“I figured.”
“Really?”
His arm tightens around you. “When you asked me why I was studying so hard, I remembered Chad’s been trying to get me out of it. This was his last resort.”
You snort, “His last resort was putting sleeping pills in your coffee.”
“I’m…gonna have to talk to him about that.”
“Can I ask why you’re studying?”
“To distract myself.”
You almost sit up. “From what?”
“Not tonight.” He lays your head against him again, and your trust is in his hands. “Someday.”
And someday, he’ll tell the story about how the week before, he realized he loved you. It scared him so much that it kept him up for days, but the night you kissed would be the day his worries all went away.
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snippy-tano · 1 year
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hi! ^.^ i love ur writing and i was hoping to make a request for an echo x reader story where reader is rly close with hunter bc they both look after/care about omega and so echo thinks there's something romantic between them bc of that but reader actually likes echo too? and maybe the other batchers know the truth but dont say anything out of respect but omega ends up confessing on behalf of reader and echo like "why havent u guys admitted you're in love w each other its so obvious" or something lol im a sucker for mutual pining hehe. thanks in advance if u do write it! xoxo <3
Ope.
I said I was back, but even I didn’t expect to post another one tonight. But I am on a freaking roll and I will keep on going until I run out of steam.
So here you are babes! I had a lot of fun writing this. I fucking love pining. Good god I love it. So this was a total treat for me. It’s a bit angsty, but with mutual pining, there is going to be some angst. Hope you love it anon! :))))
Masterlist is here!
Taglist is here!
Tagging: @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @marvel-starwars-nerd @mackstrut @dissapointingpancake @ahsokatano-thetogruta @welcometothepedroverse @padawancat97 @fractiouskat @mandaloriandin @bantha-shit @badbatch-simp24 @katelynnwrites @s1st3r @leotatombs @torchbearerkyle @rain-on-kamino @the-navistar-carol @bombshe77 @arctrooper69 @social-mockingbird @littlebluebatbrat @get-wr3ckered @flowered-bicycles @idoubleswearimawriter @eris-k @lucyysthings @quizznag @dangraccoon
———————————————————
Take My Hands Now
“Omega! Please slow down!” You called as the small blonde ran ahead of you and the rest of the Batch through the crowded market.
She stopped with a huff, bouncing up and down on her feet, restless. “Come on! Hurry up!
You smiled at her excitement, moving forward a little quicker and taking her outstretched hand. She immediately turned on her heels and began dragging you at a much faster pace through the dense crowd. You urged her to slow down, but the slight laugh in your voice didn’t deter her in the slightest.
Behind you, the Batch all watched fondly, following at a much more acceptable pace.
They caught up to the two of you outside of a booth with a local street food. You passed over a few credits before taking the outstretched food from the vendor and passing it to Omega who was beaming.
“Hunter look!” Omega called when she saw the group approaching. “Doesn’t it look delicious?”
“Yeah kid. Did you say thank you yet?” He said, giving her head a gentle pat.
“Thank you!” Omega beamed up at you and you smiled, crouching down to be at her level.
“You are very welcome. Now eat up. We’ve got a little further to go still.” You said and she nodded enthusiastically, jogging off to catch up with Wrecker who lifted her above his head and placed her on his shoulders with a laugh from both of them.
You stood up, watching as they walked into the crowd, Tech and Echo trailing behind. Hunter began walking beside you.
“You didn’t have to do that.” He said and you shrugged.
“Her eyes lit up when she saw it. I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to.” You replied, watching as she broke off a piece of the fried bread and gave a piece to Wrecker.
“I know I say it a lot, but thank you for helping take care of her. I’m not sure we’d be able to do it alone.”
“Oh I wouldn’t say that.” You cut in, giving Hunter’s shoulder a slight push. “I think you were doing a fine job on your own. But I’ll accept the compliment, thank you.”
He laughed lightly. “Come on, it’s like you said, we still have more to do here.”
You gave him another smile before picking up the pace to join the rest of the group. As you approached, you watched as Omega passed a piece of the food to Tech. He studied it curiously, sniffing it once before taking a small bite of it. He seemed to like it because his next bite was not as cautious. She then passed a piece to Echo.
You watched, chest warming as he thanked her with a genuine smile on his face. He too seemed a little hesitant, but took a much bigger bite than Tech. You smiled when his eyes also lit up, happily eating the rest.
He must have felt your gaze, because he turned back and made eye contact with you. You felt your heart thump loudly in your chest. And then it faded when his eyes dropped and he looked away, face falling.
You felt your own expression falter, feeling a familiar pain in your chest.
It was hard not to be disappointed. It has been happening a lot recently, Echo avoiding your gaze, keeping conversations short, and seemingly avoiding you.
It didn’t used to be like that. In fact, when you first started working with the Batch, besides Omega, you were probably the closest with Echo. He was a bit standoffish with you at first, but you figured it was him trying to protect his family. Eventually, like the rest of the Batch, he had warmed up to you. You used to take watches together when traveling and spent a lot of time talking, about anything and everything.
It wasn’t hard to fall for him.
In fact, it was probably the easiest thing you had ever done.
You knew that he was hesitant to get close with anyone, likely because of the “enhancements” done to him at the hands of the Techno Union. But that has never bothered you. Echo was Echo. The pieces of metal and technology were a part of him and it was because of those pieces that he was able to be here. And for that you would always be incredibly thankful.
But something had changed.
You’re not sure if it was something you had done, or if he was realizing how close you had become and was pushing you away, but no matter what it was, gone were the days where you would stay up talking for hours. You hardly ever saw him smile in your direction anymore, in fact, when he did happen to look at you, he just looked upset. Which was the last thing you wanted to see.
You didn’t know what was going on, but you’re pretty sure your heart was breaking.
You couldn’t really dwell on that though. The Batch needed you to be focused, so you needed to get over this quickly. Or at least get a handle on your feelings so you stop having the pain deep in your chest whenever Echo avoids your gaze.
Even if the lingering feelings never faded, your attachment to the Batch meant that you needed to get a grip. And fast.
Your trip to the market was largely uneventful.
Tech was able to get the parts he needed, you picked up some extra food rations and medical supplies you had been running low on, and Hunter, Wrecker, and Echo were able to pick up the information Cid had originally sent you for. Out of all the jobs they had been on for Cid, this was by far the easiest one yet. Which you were thankful for.
You had begun the long walk back through the market for the Marauder.
Your bag was full of supplies and was significantly heavier than it was when you originally arrived. That however didn’t stop Omega from bumping into you, eyes droopy and expression sleepy.
You smiled at her softly, bending down and opening your arms. She willingly embraced you and you gripped her tightly before standing up, bringing her with you. Hunter appeared at your side, placing his hand on Omega’s back.
“You got this?” He whispered and you nodded with a small smile.
He gave you a nod and walked ahead. You were fine for now, but knew that if you needed a break, Hunter would be willing to take over. Which you appreciated because unlike the rest of the Batch, you were not enhanced in any way and you would definitely tire much sooner than they would.
“You okay with carrying her?” Came a voice at your side and you turned to see Echo walking beside you. He wasn’t looking at you, his gaze instead locked forward. Your heart thumped in your chest and your stomach felt a little queasy as it fluttered.
Your throat was dry when you spoke. “Yeah. She’s not that heavy. But thank you for checking.”
He didn’t reply and you risked another glance over at him. He was still looking forward, but you could see in the way his jaw was clenched that he felt uncomfortable. The queasy feeling in your stomach only grew and a lump formed in your throat.
How had things changed so much for him? Was he always this uncomfortable around you? Had you pushed him too far? Was this your fault?
Omega mumbled against your shoulder and you couldn’t decipher it.
“Omega? Are you okay?” You whispered, rubbing her back.
Her arms tightened around your neck and she turned her head to face out towards Echo.
“Are you two not talking?”
Your stomach dropped down to your feet at her words and you inhaled sharply, steps faltering. Your eyes automatically flipped to Echo who seemed just as surprised, his mouth opening and closing without any words coming out.
“No.” You choked out, feeling sick that you were lying to her. “We’re fine.”
She hummed. “But you’re not happy.”
You really didn’t know what to say to that.
“I don’t understand.” She said and you shifted her, tightening your grip as your arms began to ache.
“Don’t understand what, starlight?” You asked, nudging her head with your own.
Echo was still walking beside you, which was a surprise. But you needed to focus on Omega right now. You could deal with what was going on with Echo after.
“Why haven’t you admitted you love each other yet. It’s really obvious.”
You thought what had said earlier was surprising, this completely blew everything out of the water. Your feet stumbled and it was only Echo’s hand gripping your arm that kept you from sending both you and Omega onto the ground. Instinctively, you looked up at him, meeting his gaze.
But this time, instead of looking away, he held your gaze. You felt your cheeks warm. This was the longest you’d been able to maintain eye contact with him for the last few standard months. You had just noticed a faint darkening of his own face when you felt a tap on your other shoulder.
You jumped and turned, seeing Hunter standing beside you.
He didn’t say anything, only gestured to Omega who had fallen asleep in your arms after her last bombshell. You didn’t fight it, quickly transferring the sleeping girl from your arms and into Hunters. Once she was settled, he gave you both a look before turning on his heel and walking away. When he reached Tech and Wrecker (who were watching from a distance), all three of them turned and continued walking.
But you couldn’t move.
You took a shaky breath, mind still reeling from what Omega said.
It was probably not true right? Just the wish of a girl who didn’t understand. It didn’t mean anything.
You felt a hand rest on your arm, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin.
It was Echo.
He looked uncomfortable, much like before, but it almost felt different. He looked down at his feet and cleared his throat.
“I think I owe you an apology.”
You blinked. “What?”
He sighed before lifting his gaze and meeting yours. “I’m sorry for avoiding you and pushing you away. I got too in my head about everything and I thought it would be easier to just avoid talking about it. It’s because you’re so good with Omega.”
“What do you mean? What are you talking about? What does Omega have to do with this?” You asked, feeling terribly confused by this turn of events.
Nothing was making sense at the moment and you were practically begging Echo to fill you in.
He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s not Omega necessarily. It’s just you’re so good with her and you work really well with Hunter. I thought that maybe - maybe you and him - just-“
It dawned on you all at once.
Oh.
He thought…
You reached forward and grabbed Echo’s hand. His gaze snapped to yours and you refused to look away this time. He was going to look and listen to you.
“I do care about Hunter.” You tightened your grip on his hand when you felt him recoil slightly. “But not in the way I care about you.”
You let out a sigh, looking down at your clasped hands before looking back up at Echo who had yet to look away. “I care about the rest of the Batch like you’re my family, because you are. And that’s all Hunter is to me, family. Or like an annoying brother. But you? Maker, Echo, I love you so much. You don’t have to reciprocate anything, but I’m tired of pretending that the past few months haven’t been brutal. I’ve missed you. And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, just don’t push me away. I can deal with my feelings, but I can’t survive if you’re not in my life.”
You were slightly out of breath when you finished, more out of anxiety of finally confessing what you had kept to yourself for so long and absolute terror of rejection. But like you had said, you couldn’t live another day without Echo being in your life the way he used to be. Even if it meant you went back to managing your feelings. That was fine, you just needed him.
Echo didn’t say anything at first, just stared at you.
The longer he waited, the more anxious you became.
You really karked this up. You ruined it all.
Just as your thoughts began to spiral, Echo moved. He yanked his hand out of yours and crashed into you, arms wrapped around your shoulders and a hand braced against the back of your head. You froze at first, not really sure what was happening.
But then his head thumped against yours and you felt the tension in his body leave. It was then that you let out a breath, wrapping your arms around his waist to return his hug.
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I put you through that. I misunderstood everything. Please forgive me.” Echo whispered and you squeezed him tighter.
“You don’t need to apologize, but of course I forgive you.” You said. “Just don’t do it again, please.”
“I can’t make any promises, but you have my word that I will do my best to never do that again.”
You smiled against his chest plate, letting your eyes close as you felt the most relaxed you had in months. And Echo seemed perfectly happy to stay there as well. So you did.
Until you heard the chirp of Echo’s comm that is.
Nothing was said, but it was a reminder that you did have others waiting on you. You let out a sigh, not wanting to part, but knowing that you had to.
You started to pull away, but Echo held fast. You looked up at him and found him already looking at you. A smile spread across your face and he returned it. He leaned down and your eyes closed involuntarily. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead and your toes curled in your boots as the knot in your stomach dissolved and the warmth began to spread again.
He lingered for a moment, but eventually pulled away. When you separated, you felt colder than moments before, but infinitely better than you had in so long.
You held out your hand towards him, just waiting. Echo looked down at your hand, before looking up at you. You offered him a smile and he returned it before gripping your hand in his own.
Both of you began walking in the direction everyone else had already gone, only this time things were different. This time, thanks to Omega, you and Echo were stronger than ever.
You still had some things to talk out, but knowing that it was only a misunderstanding that had caused so much discomfort was a huge relief. Now you could focus on him and the both of you together. He gave your hand a squeeze and you smiled up at him.
Maker, you loved this man.
You gave his hand a squeeze back before looking ahead at your path back to the ship.
Yeah, things were going to be just fine.
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jmickle · 2 months
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Why don't you take this ask as an excuse to rant a little bit about the game you're making?
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i put all the graphics in one texture so it uses less memory to like draw the game or whatever and also because it looks cool to have an image with all the graphics in the entire game in it.
this image and everything else it uses it just in a folder next to the exe. u can go change it to make the game look different. give the protagonist top surgery or bottom surgery or both. turn the spear into like a bardiche or hwatever. fuck around; find out
its not limited to images either; im writing it in a tiny custom engine im calling Blast! engine which compiles the entire thing from scratch every time u run it but like you dont notice at all. it means u can just go in and change the game code and run the game again and it works.
its also less than 3mb when zipped up. u could download this fine on the worst internet connections anywhere. its only 240x160 pixels resolution so it shouldn't rly take up much room on ur cpu. it barely shows up on my task manager when im running the game.
there's no platforming in the game bc i wanted to explore controlling your vertical height similar how you would in a fighting game. the enemies are all designed for you to be jumping/in the air most of the game, since thats the most fun part of moving around here.
im also putting in like a 1cc mode for the Gamers
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faaun · 2 years
Text
ok so heres what happened
#basically we went on another date. idk if u guys remember but the first date actually went rly well but for some reason i felt Nothing like#there was literally nothing wrong and everything went perfectly i showed her around london etc i was just like. idk i felt. friendship#not much more. anyway so for this date i went to manchester (they came all the way to ldn for me last date so its fine its fair) and she#showed me around etc and it was like. rly rly good. like genuinely we did a lot and talked a lot..and like. theyre rly rly good at art etc#like they carry pencils and their sketchbook w them everywhere and they draw ppl and scenery etc that they see + find interesting.#and like we talked. a lot . but at some point they looked at me a lot and i was like whats wrong and she said youre really beautiful and id#love to draw u . which was rly sweet...and also she said she loves watching me watching things. bc we went to a gallery#and then a book shop. BTW THE BOOK SHOP. ok so we were walking and there was like a random staircase upstairs and a sign saying book shop w#nothing else on it outside and we went upstairs and it was like a rly small but rly. cosy? interesting? book shop and there was this guy w#a rly rly pretty face and a long coat typing and there were like 20 poetry books next to him. some of them were lovesongs from the persp-#ective of a satanist and i asked him if the book was his and he said i guess . i bought an unlabelled book for £1#ok just realised it would be too long to type the full interaction but istg i felt more abt this guy than i did abt her and i DONT KNOW WHY#like literally theres nothing wrong things went great i just dont. get it?? like. maybe i need her to be more interesting. but i feel#like thats not a valid reason. anyway she clearly feels more abt me than i do abt her but i also kind of implied previously id be ok w#exploring being more than friends etc but now im like. done exploring? like i dont think i can feel romantically abt her idk..but am i just#being dumb but also is it unfair to her if i say nothing. anyway i bought love poetry we walked around a lot + bought bubble tea + we both#had 5% to make it back home w. also went to cute cafes and vintage places etc etc#ill write abt the bookshop guy later maybe. anyway whats wrong w me why cant i just like smn normally. i have to make rice and#head off to archery now bye
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