#its just been giving me migraines every other day

[moonydustx]

Hi, I was wondering if you could do Zoro, Luffy, Ace, Mihawk, and Lucci as well as Crocodile x Reader, what if the reader, one day tells them that they are pregnant, how would they react/ How would they be as parents? ( also maybe add some parenting shenanigans, knowing these guys.)

OMG! You have no idea how much I loved your request. I know, I know, it took me a looooong time to respond. But after a few migraines (and anxiety), I'm back. I was already thinking about doing something like that, but I was lacking some kind of inspiration so thanks <3 Maybe I got carried away with writing, I'm terrible at summaries and things like that , but I hope you like it.

The structure is kind of: them discovering the pregnancy, them dealing with the pregnancy and a small hint of how they deal with the children.

Warnings are placed individually in each story.

I'm dividing it into two parts so as not to be exhaustive. (I'm sorry, I reaaaally got carried away writing it).

PART 2 HERE - Lucci, Mihawk and Crocodile.

requests open | one piece masterlist

Zoro

Warnings: Fluuuff, super fluff. F!Reader has a bad health at the beginning of this one. Sanji is Zoro's daughter's favorite person for food reasons.And of course, Zoro is protective and jealous (especially towards the little girl).

It should have just been a momentary relief, you didn't expect the little escapades between you and Zoro to turn into a relationship. Much less did I expect to have seen the two blue lines on the small stick that you kept hidden in your small desk. How to raise a baby in Sunny? How to tell Zoro that the relationship between the two of you would now gain another part?

You wished you had more time to think about the solution, more time to even clear your doubts with Chopper, but the little being inside you insisted on demonstrating its existence. One of the days, you had almost passed out on top of Franky - who obviously freaked out. In the other, he had eaten twice as much as Luffy ate and had to come up with a lame excuse. This time, it was the third time in a row that you had put food in your mouth and it barely lasted minutes in your stomach.

"Hey…" you heard your name being called from outside the bathroom, but it was a female voice. "Do you need any help?"

"I'm fine, Robin."

"I believe that fine is not the term that best defines your situation." she laughed, still outside. Not knowing how to deal with the situation, you reached out and opened the door, giving her space to enter. "What's our plan?"

"What do you mean our plan?"

"Nausea, dizziness, food cravings, and all the noise you and Zoro make when you're alone." with every word that came out of her mouth, you could feel your skin turn pale. "The swordsman doesn't know yet, right?"

"Not yet." your face sank into your own hands, frustrated with the indecision that plagued your mind. "What do I do, Robin?"

"I suggest you talk to your boyfriend soon, I believe he might accept the idea better than you might expect." She smiled gently, brushing aside the strands of hair that stuck to your face. "However, right now he's trying to kill the cook because he thinks he gave you some spoiled food."

Robin's light laugh was left behind as you ran towards the screams, which had seemed imperceptible before now became increasingly audible.

"Stupid cook, he doesn't even know how to make an egg properly."

"You moldhead, shut your mouth."

"Mold is what you're putting in your food."

"You two stop." you stood between the two, shouting at the top of your lungs and interrupting their argument and the laughter of the others, who were entertained by Zoro and Sanji fighting. "I just… I just need…" the air seemed to disappear from your lungs and the scorching sun above you became just a black screen.

Minutes, hours, days, when your eyes opened, you felt so tired that you couldn't calculate how long you were gone. The first thing that crossed your field of vision was Chopper walking from side to side with a stethoscope in hand.

"Ah, you're awake!" he came happily by your side.

"What happened?" you knew very well what had happened, but first of all you needed to find out what the little doctor had already discovered.

"I'm sorry, but Robin told me some things." He placed the cold item to listen to your heartbeat, remaining silent for a few seconds.

"And is everything okay? I mean, with…" the word seemed to disappear from your lips, it was difficult to bring up the idea without knowing how the other party responsible for it would react.

"These days helping Franky, all this commotion from the fight, from my diagnosis, you're just exhausted. And a little dehydrated too, and that's not good for you or the baby." he explained, sweetly as usual. "By my reckoning, you must be two months pregnant. I'll talk to Luffy and Nami, so we can quickly find an island and secure supplies."

"Wait!" you held him, even though the reindeer hadn't moved. "Can I talk to Zoro first?"

"Of course, he doesn't know yet, right? But he's out there, very worried."

"Do you mind calling him for me?" you asked and saw him nod, leaving the small infirmary.

Your body still feeling heavy from fatigue, you sat down thinking about what words to use, how to bring up such an important subject. The door opened, but you lacked the courage to face the man who stopped in front of you. His silhouette on the ground began to become more real and closer, only then did you realize that he had bent down to be at your height.

"Ready to talk about this?" he whispered and adjusted his posture, remaining standing in front of you as your legs dangled off the bed.

"About what?" His eyes dropped from your face, went to your stomach and looked back at you. To his surprise, he found your orbs wide open in surprise. "How do you know?"

"I was looking for my material to clean my katanas, I missed the drawer and ended up opening yours. I found something strange there and asked Robin. As the drawer was yours, the test could only be yours." he listed with the most passable face in the world.

At the same time it lifted a burden from your conscience. You wanted to kill him for leaving you in agony and thinking of ways to bring up the subject.

"I understood." Your voice was calmer than you could have expected, but you could feel your eyes burning with pure anticipation - and hormones, which you would still discover how much they would affect you. "And what do we do now?"

"We continued sailing." Noticing your stress, one of his hands joined yours, on top of your belly. "And if it becomes too risky, beyond my ability to protect you both, we step aside for a while and then the three of us come back when it's safe."

You wanted to be grateful that he didn't freak out, you wanted to freak out yourself or even say "What do you mean we're step aside?", but the only things that came out of you were tears and sobs, as you clung to his torso.

"I-I thought you would hate me…" a lot more sobs, a lot more tears. "And you was going to leave me on some island."

"I would never do that."

"And I-I wanted to eat the salad Sanji makes."

"You can ask that idiot." Zoro gave his arm, he didn't understand much about pregnancies, but when he found out about the subject Robin explained some things about hormones and sensitivity, while Chopper, in the little time he had to call him, had warned him about the health conditions of the woman who he loved most in the world. Arguments with the cook could wait.

"Don't worry, sweetheart." He had to contain his own laughter hearing you say such nonsense. "I promise to take care of you both, here at Sunny or anywhere else."

Zoro couldn't define his promise about taking care of you better. The remaining months of pregnancy passed faster than you could imagine, despite you being left out of any and all activities. No fighting, no major exploration, no staying near stairs or high places. On the other hand, there was a type of exercise that your hormones craved - and consequently, disturbed the entire team.

After long hours of labor, you didn't know who was screaming more - you, in pain, Zoro desperately wanting Chopper to do something or Luffy thinking you were going to die, seeing the blood when he decided to peek into the room. When little Kuina was born, everyone, including you, discovered a new side of the swordsman. More careful, delicate, he held the little girl like the most precious thing in the entire universe. The three swords were no longer tied to him all the time, the insults directed at the cook became a little lighter when the little girl with green hair was nearby.

"Uncle Sanjiiiii" the girl, now five years old, ran and hummed towards the kitchen, clinging to the cook's leg. "Can you make 'rispy potatos for me?"

"Of course my dear, just give me a few minutes." you saw the cook laugh at her pronunciation, but he already knew the girl's favorite dish and no, they weren't the spicy ones.

"Why don't you ask me?" Zoro grumbled, crossing his arms and forcing you not to make fun of him and destroy the little authority he had - yes, little because the man had a soft heart towards his daughter. Not to mention the small jealousy he accumulated towards little Kuina.

"Uncle Sanji's are tastier." she stuck her tongue out at him, laughing with the cook afterwards.

"You know what? Let's see." Zoro marched to the edge of the sink and took the girl from the cook's legs. "You go with your mommy there while we go prepare something."

"Please don't kill yourselves." you murmured, picking the small girl up in your arms. "And you my love, what do you think about going to see Usopp fishing?"

"Yay!"

Zoro practically growled at Sanji and began to dedicate himself to his tasks. Boiled and roasted potatoes, crispy on the outside and soft on the inside in small pieces, was his daughter's favorite dish, it wasn't that difficult, was it? The presentation wasn't the best, at least not compared to Sanji's, but he watched the girl try a little of each dish. After thinking for a brief moment, she pulled out the plate made by Zoro and began to eat happily.

"This one! The dad ones!" She offered you a small potato, which you accepted. "Daddy knows how to make it too! Now I can eat 'rispys every day."

The flavor was good, but you knew that cooking wasn't your now husband's strong point. You reached out and took a small piece of Sanji's and understood what it was, seeing the blonde blink quickly at you, unnoticeable to the other two. In this case, your husband was now holding your daughter on his lap and spinning her around while she was thrilled that he would now have a new potato supplier.

"Uncle Captain Luffy will like it. Dad, shall we take some for him?" she asked showing with her little fingers the small amount she wanted to share and as always, Zoro immediately answered her.

"You know he's going to eat it all, don't you my dear?" He took the plate with his free hand and left with the girl on his lap.

"Thanks." you turned to Sanji, who smiled.

"I may not be a fan of the mosshead, but I wouldn't accept seeing little Kuina disappointed." he replied, removing the dishes that had accumulated on the table and tasting some of the potato he had made. "I just didn't add any seasoning."

"The shitty cook doesn't know how to cook." you both heard him cheering outside and Kuina right behind. "Shitty cook, shiiiity, shit."

"Zoro!"

"I think I already regret helping." the blonde grumbled, watching you follow the two and give him a good scolding.

Luffy

warnings: Fluff, angst with a happy ending. Luffy is a lot more mature than usual in this one, mention of F!Reader being hurt (nothing serious). Gear 5 Luffy (yes, I'm still excited about his latest appearance). The child's name is Ravi, which means sun.

The floor of the small room that the two of you shared seemed to be about to sink with all the turns you had already taken and you were amazed that the test in your hands hadn't yet broken from so many times that it bumped against your fingers in pure anxiety.

"Hey, did you call me?" Luffy appeared at the door noticing that you were alone. "Finally, just the two of us!" he vibrated, about to grab you.

Since the two of you had left Foosha Village, you hadn't let go of each other. You started as rivals when you were children in Dadan's house and it took you a few months after entering the sea to understand the true feelings you had for each other. It didn't take long for him to call you his own pirate queen and introduce you as his girlfriend.

"Hi! Are you around?" he waved in front of you, taking you away from the memories of a past that was already distant and so different from what you would face.

"Luffy, we need to talk." you tried to take a firmer stance.

"As your captain or as your boyfriend?" He remembered the little agreement the two of you had made, to separate matters to maintain order - more precisely so you wouldn't kill your boyfriend when he stole food from your plate and, consequently, be left without a captain too.

"I think both, I don't know." a frustrated sigh left you, shoulders carrying the immense burden of fear. "I was feeling strange a few days ago, I was late…"

"Late for what?"

"I'm pregnant!" you spat out the words quickly. If the man hadn't been paying attention, he would barely have caught it. "I'm pregnant, Luffy."

"This is…" he sat down on the bed, lowering his head. You had never touched on such a subject, it barely crossed your mind what his attitude would be.

"I understand it's a lot, I'm scared too…Luffy?"

His laughter took over the room as soon as your feet left the floor and he turned you around, pressing your body tightly against his arms.

"A baby! A mini me or a mini you!" he vibrated and noticed your expression close. "Don't you want a mini me?"

"Not that. Just don't…" your hand went to your mouth, containing the nausea. "No spins, for a while."

"Ah, sorry." he placed you on the ground, more carefully. "How do you feel?"

"A little scared, I guess." You laughed lightly when you saw him bend down to analyze your belly. He promptly put his ear to it, trying to hear something. "Babe, the baby is the size of a grape now, it's a little hard to hear."

"But I know he knows I'm here. A boy!" He placed a quick kiss on your skin. You wouldn't question the fact that he's sure the baby is a boy.

"I think this is the best treasure I could find." you murmured, hugging your boyfriend and allowing yourself to stay there for a few seconds.

"Love?" his voice called to you quietly. "Can I tell everyone?"

"For sure!"

"Guys!!!" He barely waited for you to respond and pulled you out the door, shouting for his friends. "Let's have another crewmate."

"What idea is this Luffy?" Nami cut off her own scolding when she saw him pointing at her belly.

"We're going to have a baby!" your fear ceased for a while when you saw everyone vibrate with the news.

The time you had to find your balance, you lost when you felt Nami and Robin hug you together, happy for the news. It didn't take long for your other companions to congratulate you on the new life that had emerged there.

"Luffy, we need to stop at an island soon so I can get some materials." Chopper warned and the captain immediately agreed.

"Sanji, can we have a feast to celebrate, please." Luffy asked for cook, being interrupted by you who joined him.

"Meat…" the word alone brought the flavor to your mouth. "I need to eat meat and a pie, please Sanji. It could even be meat pie." you asked, clinging to the cook, in the best Luffy style. Noticing the attitude, you soon resumed your posture. "I think I have a little craving… for meat."

It was undeniable that Luffy's genes were strong in the little child who was growing month by month. Restless, the unborn baby was always making you incessantly hungry and seemed to think your belly was made of elastic. Anyone who looked at you would find you with a small package of snacks in hand or grumbling to Luffy about why he had to insist on poking your belly when the baby was quiet, making the child start kicking again. Luffy still didn't seem to have much of an idea of ​​what having a pregnant girlfriend was like. Occasionally he would steal your snacks or make plans that involved you, getting slapped by other companions.

"She's strong and I'm sure our son will be too." was his common response every time.

The contour of the bulge of your belly was already noticeable at six months of pregnancy and even so, you liked to follow Luffy and the others on each new island they stepped on. This time, you didn't expect that a little shopping break would turn into a horror so quickly. An enemy of Luffy had found you along with Nami and Sanji and even though the cook was capable of fighting, he couldn't hold off the man and his henchmen for so long.

Your head was small compared to the man's hand that held it. The instinct taking over your body made you bring your arms to your belly, protecting the being that was developing there, while he dragged you to where Luffy was. As you approached, for the first time in a while you saw terror in your beloved's eyes.

"I see there have been interesting changes." The man's slurred voice irritated you more than usual. He lifted you off the ground and gave your stomach a little poke. "As far as I know, I bet it's a little straw hat."

"Let. Her. Go." the threat implied in Luffy's voice was different than most times. You remembered seeing him like this when a tenryuubito decided to hit Hatchan, but still, he seemed to have more hate in him than you had ever witnessed. "I told you, keep your hands off her."

"As you wish."

Disdain was present in the man's every attitude and in the same way that he had barely used his strength to lift you, he did the same to throw you meters away. With the wind against your body and the screams of your friends like blurs passing by you, you cringed and waited for the impact that didn't come. Instead, you felt something wrap around you and your body land against something soft.

When you opened your eyes, you found Luffy holding you, putting you on your feet even though he didn't let go.

"You're okay, you're alive, you're okay…" the words came out of his mouth like a mantra. It was like seeing relief and fear walking side by side.

As soon as his hands released you, you felt yourself staggering, being supported by someone behind you. Luffy's hands held your face delicately as if a breath could take you away. He took off his straw hat and placed it on you and one of his hands rested on your belly, feeling the agitation under your skin, which seemed to bring the lucidity he needed.

"Jinbe, take her back to the ship." Luffy didn't bother to look at his companion who had just approached, his eyes roamed your face in search of any discomfort. The hand that remained on your face wiped away a small tear that insisted on falling. "Take Chopper with you, get all the tests possible."

"I am fine." you tried to reassure him, seeing that your words had been in vain. "Baby, we're both fine."

"Zoro, protect them." Luffy asked and only then did you realize it was the swordsman supporting you. "Don't let anyone get close to them. Don't let anyone lay a hand on my girl and my son."

"Okay. Jinbe, you carry her. Chopper, stay alert too, but your priority is to get to the ship with the two of them." the mate gave the orders and before your feet left the ground, you felt Luffy place a quick kiss on the small gap between your forehead and the straw hat.

"Those who are left, don't let any of his idiots get out of here. I'm going to finish that bastard off." the last glimpse you saw of Luffy was of his hair turning white.

Something changed that day. The baby was fine, you were fine - enough for Zoro to restrain you and prevent you from returning to the battlefield. Lying on your bed, you curled up again, this time wracked with worries about your captain and boyfriend. Using the straw hat as your companion, you allowed yourself to close your eyes and wait. The sun was already gone when you woke up from your brief nap to feel arms squeeze you tightly.

"Lu?" you turned around and found him smiling, even if a little lighter than usual. Some scratches on the face, but apparently fine.

He took your lips voraciously, capturing them and holding them to his. Your hands soon tangled in the dark strands of his hair and gave him space to fit around your legs, but Luffy moved away.

"Chopper said you're okay, just scared, but you need to rest so our son can be okay too." the captain slid on the bed, until his face was aligned with your belly.

Luffy lifted the cloth that hid your skin and covered your belly with kisses, in silence. Your hands, which previously sought to get tangled in his hair, opted for a light caress.

"I promised to protect you two and today…"

"Today you protected us, love." you interrupted before he even considered finishing the thought. Taking one of his hands, you led him to where the child was kicking. "And someone agrees with me."

From that day on, you saw Luffy change and consequently, you did too. He no longer teased you about your strange diet and didn't even make jokes about the snoring you started to have every night or because you looked like a cuddly ball - except when he, with the help of Usopp and Chopper - tied a watermelon to his belly. and pretended to be you at the end of the pregnancy. Now the words you had said to him "I think this is the best treasure I could find" made more sense to him.

It was early morning when little Ravi was born. The sea water was more crystal clear than usual and your body was sweating cold even though the night was hot when the first contractions hit and lasted throughout the morning. Chopper had chosen Robin and Nami as assistants while Luffy remained there by your side, using the power of the fruit to avoid feeling the strong grip of your hand against him.

Along with the first rays of the morning sun, Ravi came into the world and illuminated Luffy's face. As soon as the boy stopped crying in his father's lap, it was like watching two long-lost friends reunite after so much waiting, Luffy didn't know that he had been waiting for this his whole life and now he knew that he would never be able to stay away from the boy. In a way, it reminded you of the way little Luffy looked at Ace with admiration when they were still children.

He took the feeling seriously since little Ravi became his father's shadow and Luffy didn't make much of a point of preventing the boy from doing something wrong.

"Luffy!" you screamed as you saw him about to throw the two year old into the air.

"But he likes it."

"Sun…Ravi." the little one mumbled a few things.

"See? He wants to reach the sun." Luffy laughed, throwing the child at a much lower height than he intended at the beginning, eliciting a laugh from the baby. "Who wants to go again?"

"That's enough, you two." You stretched your arms to catch the baby, who promptly reached towards you. "It's time for someone to eat!"

"Yay! Let's eat some good food, kid." Luffy ignored you and headed to the kitchen. Before he reached the door, you took little Ravi from him.

"Just little Ravi." you corrected him and saw him mumble.

With each passing year, he became even more like his own father, which meant double work for you. At least at 8 years old, Ravi still had a little more calm than Luffy.

"Zoro!" he walked across the deck to the swordsman "My father said he was going fishing."

"That's good, it means fresh fish for lunch."

"The problem is that the fish caught him. He hasn't come back to the surface for a few minutes." Ravi said without much concern. "Can I go get him? I know how to swim, I don't think my daddy can."

"What the fuck Luffy!" Zoro dropped his swords and threw himself into the sea, attracting his other companions.

"Do not even think about it." Nami warned the boy who was about to reach for one of Zoro's swords.

"But Nami…" he mumbled, lacking the patience to argue. In the same way that she imputed fear to the father, it worked on the son.

"They're too big for your age." you saw him mumble just like Luffy and you had to hold back your laughter.

"Ravi!" Luffy's voice attracted the two of you to the end of the ship where he was, soaked and being scolded immensely by Zoro.

"Wow dad, what a big fish. All this for us?" the boy poked the little monster lying in the deck.

"That's right." Luffy laughed alongside the boy. You thought it was adorable that their laugh was identical.

"Hey Sanji, I'm hungry." they both shouted. Apparently, the appetite was also similar.

Ace

Warnings: fluff, a little angst until Ace finds out, Marco and F!Reader are best friends. Ace just wants to be loved by his baby. And for the record, I know Whitebeard would be a badass grandfather.

"Wait…" Marco began, analyzing your figure standing there biting his nails in front of him. "I thought you heard me when I explained it to you. You know, condoms, medicine, yoi."

"I heard, but maybe I forgot one…" his critical look made you change your tone. "Okay, I forgot to use protection a few times."

"Sit there already." he gave up and waited for you to curl up on the stretcher. Once you did, you watched him prepare a small kit.

"Why do you keep a pregnancy test kit?" You tried to take the object from his hand, but the doctor quickly dodged it.

"I don't keep it." Your eyes watched him concentrate and insert the needle into your arm, drawing a small amount of blood. "You've only been vomiting for two weeks and you've also been refusing to drink with alcohol. I'm a good doctor, yoi."

"And now?"

"Now…" he dripped the blood onto a small white spatula and placed it next to you on the stretcher. "We waited, for five minutes."

"All of this?"

"I've been waiting for you to bring this up for two weeks, don't complain." he replied.

"I needed Ace to be busy or out of here." you simply responded, turning your attention to the clock hanging next to one of the cabinets.

For the remaining minutes you stood there, legs shaking from side to side and watching a Marco as anxious as you. As soon as the hand reached the long-awaited minute, the two of you turned to the test together.

“Two risks…” you started.

"Positive. Looks like I've been promoted to uncle!" the man smiled, containing the feeling when he saw your face.

"I'm pregnant." the phrase still sounded strange to your ears, so sudden and unexpected. "I'm pregnant." you tested again, trying to improve your expression.

"You're pregnant! Now we need to do some more tests to make sure everything is ok. Dad will be happy when he hears about this." Marco placed the test results on a table away from the two of you. "I suggest an ultrasound, it would also be good to see some blood tests."

"My God, Marco, I'm pregnant!" A certain happiness crossed your expression, eliciting a laugh from your closest friend and brother.

"Now you're ready to jump…"

"You are pregnant?" you both turned as you heard a third voice join the room.

Ace looked at the two of you, waiting for some kind of justification, but at the same time it felt like the air had been knocked out of his lungs. You were still there, the same girl he had left to follow to a nearby island a few days ago, but now it seemed different. There was almost a glow emanating from you to his eyes.

"Ace, can we talk?" your voice reached his ears, but his mind was in a distant place.

Ace took a few steps back, moving away from the small infirmary and disappearing from your field of vision. You and the doctor looked at each other, surely this was the last reaction either of you would have thought of having.

"Are you feeling good?" Marco's voice pulled you back to reality. "Hey, look at me, yoi."

"I need to talk to him." You ignored your friend's question and went in search of your boyfriend.

From his reaction, you knew you had two options and to solve the first of them, you leaned over and saw that the Striker was still docked and with no one around, you immediately ran towards your room, finding the door closed.

Two knocks weren't enough to get his attention, so ignoring any possible chaotic scene you were going to encounter, you entered the room unceremoniously. The idea of ​​finding the room on fire crossed your mind, but was soon dismissed when you found Ace sitting on the bed, his face buried in his hands.

"Babe, please." You asked, trying to keep your tone calmer - despite the internal desperation in him hating you. "Please talk to me."

"Y-You…" his dark irises met yours and only then did you realize that your beloved's eyes were full of water. "I'm going to be a father?"

"My love, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." Urgently, you moved closer, holding his face in your hands. "I know it's kind of scary, but I promise we'll figure it out."

"No, no. That's not the problem." he sniffled, not allowing any of the tears to flow. His hand threatened to touch your belly and withdrew. "What if I'm not a good father? What if this child doesn't love me."

"Think about how much I love you Ace, how much you love me." you stated almost obviously, gaining his attention. "What can come out of here, besides love?" your hands found your belly for the first time after the discovery.

Your body was enveloped in a tight hug, his face was almost buried in your belly, while you caressed his dark locks.

"I love you so much." He turned to you, noticing the slight discomfort, he moved his chin away from your stomach. "Oops, I'm sorry."

"It's okay…Ace!!" you screamed as you felt your body hit the bed, now with him fitting between your legs.

When it came to loving you, Ace could be as hot as the fire that emanated from him, strong as the waves that insisted on crashing against Moby Dick. Except that day. His lips touched yours gently, his body didn't press against yours, just covered it lightly. The delicate kisses went down to your belly, being placed as if they always belonged there. His lips found your face again, his smile hovered over yours.

"We need to talk to Marco." he began, interrupting himself to allow his kisses to cover your face again. "I need to know everything that's going on."

"Well, you know now."

"Not this." he grumbled. "We need exams, to know if everything is ok with you two, we also need to know what a baby needs. My god, are you going to give birth here at Moby Dick? We barely have room for the two of us…"

"Calm down, stay calm." you asked as you watched him spiral. With his support, you got back on your feet, holding out your hand for him to get up. "I have a better idea of ​​what we can do."

You expected some commotion, of course. Maybe even a few tears. You didn't expect to see Ace crying like a baby when telling Whitebeard that he was going to be a grandfather and consequently, bringing some tears from your old man and several other colleagues also shedding tears. It was good to know that your little baby would arrive surrounded by love.

The months that followed the discovery were more peaceful than you imagined and even though for a long time you had insisted to your father that there were too many men on that ship, you couldn't complain about being so spoiled.

Want to eat something different? Thatch had it ready within minutes of you ordering. Marco walked like a shadow behind you and Ace - this by his own choice and by Whitebeard's direct order, since on one of the days you were sick, you had almost killed the three men of the heart. It was adorable to see how Ace worried about the mission that was getting closer every month. More than once, you found him in Whitebeard's room, asking for tips on what to do with the baby, how to help you at this time and how he could be a good father. The idea of ​​not being loved by his own son haunted him more than you might expect. Everything seemed great, except one detail: the two of you couldn't agree on the name.

The little baby decided to arrive a few weeks ahead of schedule, which caused widespread chaos on the boat. Ace was having dinner with the other commanders when your scream reached his ears, along with Whitebeard's scream that echoed louder than any earthquake he had ever created, prompting them to speed up the preparations for the birth. Apparently, immense pain arose when you and your father were talking, which led you to stay in the ship's medical wing for hours. Your screams were heard throughout the ship while Ace served as your support point. The little boy was born and if you hadn't been feeling so weak, you would have laughed at the screams of joy coming from outside the room as they heard his cries.

"Ace?" you called to him, who held you even tighter in his arms. "I think I have an idea for the name. Can you see if we can use it?"

You whispered in his ear, making Marco curious. Ace delicately left behind you, who was holding the little baby and ignoring the blood that still stained his hands, he left the ship in search of a specific person. A few minutes later, you saw your beloved enter the room again, accompanied by your dad.

"Can I take that as a yes?" you saw Whitebeard bend down to get closer to the baby. "Meet your grandson, Alev Edward Newgate."

If you were spoiled during your pregnancy by Ace, you couldn't imagine what it would be like with little Alev. The child was never alone - or at least walking on two feet. There was always one of his uncles who could pick him up and carry him around the ship. Marco, who called himself the child's uncle and godfather even though he had not been baptized, had already lost count of how many times he had to redo the serums and medicines he applied to Whitebeard, since Alev - with his grandfather's permission, used the height difference to make it like a little personal slide.

And Ace, who was completely in love with the little piece of love you two had brought to the world, even when he messed up.

"Papa!" you and Ace, who were playing cards with other friends, heard the child scream and a laugh soon after. You already lowered your deck knowing that it anticipated some new prank.

"What is it Alev?" Ace spoke loudly so the boy could hear him and know where he was.

You don't know how your blood pressure didn't drop or how Ace didn't have a heart attack when he saw the child in your not-so-calm and serene days coming twirling a burning cloth in one hand and in the other a lighter that only God should know where he found.

"Look papa, I can control fire just like you!" the boy rolled the cloth and you prepared to move forward and take it from him, but you were anticipated by Ace, who placed his hand exactly where the cloth would hit Alev's freckled face.

"You can't do that, ever again." Ace raised his voice, taking the cloth that was half ash and the lighter from the boy. "You are crazy?"

"But daddy, I want to be like you."

"That doesn't mean setting everything on fire, my little flame." you warned and saw the child threaten to cry. Ace noticed immediately, regretting the little scream.

"I can't believe you're such a crybaby." Ace said in a teasing tone, throwing the boy over his shoulder. "Does your grandfather know about this? He won't like having a crybaby pirate at all."

"No daddy, I already stopped, I already stopped." you heard your son mumble in the distance, drying his tears. "I just wanted to be cool like you."

"My son, you are the coolest kid ever." Ace let Alev slip out of his arms and hugged him, stopping him from reaching the ground. "You know I love you very much, don't you?"

"I love you sooooo much more daddy."

[bcyhoods]

hi miss cece babe! love the new blog, very cutie! i do come to you with a request if you like <3 shy!reader getting steve harrington flowers on a bad day of his <3 been obsessed with shy!reader, just too soft <3

u are so cute and u sent this a while ago SORRAY. this is just a short little thing to help get out of a writing rut!

talks about migraines (brief allusion to vomiting but nothing more than a sentence)

Steve could be extremely prideful at times.

He’d jump into action headfirst even if it meant a swift blow to his temple or a demobat bite to the abdomen. More often than not, he’d reap the consequences days later in the form of a dull headache or a singing pain in his bones, in addition to the scars and bruises painted on his freckled skin. Whenever you’d ask about it though, he’d give you a charming smile with a quick, “I’m fine. You should see the other guy.”

It was usually enough to quell anybody’s concerns, safe for your own ever-worrying mind, but even then, it would soothe you just enough. He never did it out of spite or malice, he just didn’t want to worry you. Plus, he wasn’t weak. He could handle it.

Today just wasn’t his best effort, he supposes.

The pair of you were supposed to go out today, but this morning he woke up with a particularly nasty migraine that wasn’t letting up any time soon. And no witty remark was able to save him from your doting presence (which he was quite grateful for).

You’re sat beside him on his bed, pushing away the strands of hair that stick to his forehead.

“‘M sorry,” he says meekly. His complexion is pale, face screwed up in discomfort, and a sheen layer of sweat coats his skin. Any food that he was able to get down would just fight it’s way back up.

The apology makes you frown. Your hand hovers over his stomach, a featherlight touch out of fear that it’d make matters worse. “Don’t be, it’s not your fault,” you reply softly.

He reaches for your hand with his own, gently bringing it down to fully rest on the swell of his stomach and sighs in relief. The gesture gives you goosebumps. You remain this way for awhile, your other hand combing through his hair, until he’s able to drift off.

The first time he wakes up, you’re laying a warm, damp rag on his forehead and placing a delicate kiss to his cheek. You’re telling him something, but he’s not awake enough to understand. Though his headache seems to have dulled.

When he awakes again, the throbbing sensation in his head is thankfully nothing but a memory. Faint hums and the whistling of a kettle motivate him to get out of bed when he sees new items sitting on his bedside table.

You’d gone to the store to get some aspirin, which now sits on the wood beside a cup of water. But it’s not that he’s interested in, not really. Beside the medicine, with a blue ribbon around its neck, sat a vase filled with daisies. A flimsy piece of paper rested against the glass that read For Stevie :) in your handwriting.

With a gooey smile on his face, he pads into the kitchen to find you. Your back faces him as you pour liquid from the kettle into a small mug. He calls out your name, and the second you turn around, he feels his insides turn to mush at the way your face brightens.

“Oh, you’re awake!” You recoil at the momentary loudness in your voice. “Are you feeling okay?”

Steve nods and pulls you into his arms. His thumbs dip under the hem of your shirt to caress the skin of your waist. “Better, now. Thank you for taking care of me.”

You hum in response as he presses a kiss to your temple.

“And thank you for the flowers.”

Suddenly, you feel heat rush to every swell and curve of your face. You didn’t expect him to explicitly mention a few flowers. And now you’re embarrassed.

“They’re feverfew. They’re supposed to help with migraines,” you reply into the cloth of his t-shirt in an effort to hide your nervous, lovesick grin. But the silence that follows makes you queasy.

That is, until he moves to cradle your face in his hands to deliver a firm kiss to your lips. The kind that makes you feel lightheaded, the kind that makes you grasp tightly onto his biceps to prevent you from floating away. You sigh once his soft lips move away from yours and you feel his breath fan your skin as he breathes out a laugh.

“Oh no, you’re running hot. Do you have a fever?” He teases.

[steddieas-shegoes]

For the requests: traumatized steve & eddie going to a wolf sanctuary and eddie watching steve basically live with the wolves in their area. And the one wolf,the one that hated everyone, the one who meaner and didn't get along with anyone to its cruel abusive situation (perhaps it was raised from puppyhood and onwards by people who used it in dogfighting, before it was rescued, that wolf, goes right up to Steve and sits by him. Giving him comfort. When Steve has bad nightmares he goes to that wolf's pen and they sleep cuddled together bc that wolf also has nightmares. (It can also be a wolfdog)

AS ALWAYS YOU COME THROUGH WITH SOMETHING FUN AND CREATIVE AND AS ALWAYS I MAKE IT EMOTIONAL AS SHIT!!! I was feelin' some type of way yesterday and started on this at peak emotional upheaval, which is really something I don't recommend. As many things tend to do, this got away from me and I think I could've still let it keep going, but I had to cut it off. Hope you love it!!! - Mickala ❤️

-----------------------------------------------

It was Robin’s idea.

She knew therapy wasn’t working. She knew firsthand that the nightmares, especially Steve’s, were impossible to handle some nights.

She stayed with him enough after the Russians to know he was averaging four hours of restless sleep on a good night.

And now that he’d seen the horrors of the Upside Down, and Eddie almost dying, and Max almost dying, and the guilt of just existing, they were worse.

Eddie had them, but he was usually able to calm down relatively quickly, usually even fall back into a dreamless sleep after.

His problem was just seeing the bats everywhere, even when he was awake. A large bird would fly by and he was ducking for cover like a bomb would be dropped on him. He’d hear screeching, sometimes even just kids yelling at the park, and he’d have a panic attack.

Drastically different problems, but Robin said this could help with both of them.

So Steve and Eddie stood outside the wolf sanctuary, staring at the front office entrance where they were told to check in.

They glanced at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move.

It’s not that they were scared. They’d been told about the process on the phone in great detail, the sanctuary director answering all of their questions in a friendly tone.

She’d said that the wolf sanctuary had been used as a form of therapy for people for years now, though many psychiatrists didn’t consider it an appropriate treatment.

Considering Steve and Eddie had been seeing a professional psychiatrist for months now with no progress and serious weight loss and migraines from their prescriptions, they were willing to give this a fair shot.

But their fear that it wouldn’t work kept circling through their minds.

If this didn’t work, they weren’t sure what else they could possibly try.

That was terrifying.

They were supposed to stay for a month, with the option of extending the stay if they felt they needed it.

It was expensive.

But this was on the US government, and Eddie was always quick to spend their money for his benefit.

Steve was just along for the ride.

They walked in together, both nervously looking around at the chairs and desks, bookshelves, pictures of wolves and mountains on the walls, and one small, gray-haired woman at the front desk.

“Oh, aren’t you two precious! Which one’s Steve and which one’s Eddie?”

“I’m Steve,” Eddie smirked as he held out his hand.

Steve smacked his arm.

“He’s Eddie, and he’s probably gonna be this way the whole time. Sorry in advance,” Steve told the woman.

“This is wonderful! You’ll be fun to have around. I’m Fran, I run the front office. I spoke to you the other day on the phone a bit about the check in. Are you boys ready?”

They both nodded.

She clapped her hands together in excitement.

Steve could tell Eddie loved her. She was full of theatrics like he was, every word punctuated by an exaggerated movement.

“First, the boring part. We did some of the first part over the phone, but these packets need to be filled out completely and given back to me. You can have a seat anywhere to do those. When that’s done, I’ll show you where to bring your bags so you can unpack and get comfortable. We can do a tour before dinner.”

She placed the packets on the desk in front of her, then took two pens out of a mug and placed them down too.

“If you have any questions, let me know. You two are just the cutest!”

She walked through a small doorway a few feet behind her desk and they grabbed the packets to start filling them out.

The first page was basic personal information, which had been filled out already. The second page was emergency contact information and how they were referred. But the third page is where it got difficult.

It has questions like “What is your worst memory?” and “Who is the person you would most expect to protect you in a life or death situation? Why?”

And while Eddie and Steve could probably answer those easily from terrible experiences, there was a lot they weren’t allowed to say.

So they just stuck with the official government stories for any and all Upside Down related parts, which was most of them.

Fran bustled back in, two steaming mugs in her hands. She set them on her desk carefully and then walked over to where Eddie was sitting.

“How’s it going?”

“Good. Almost done,” he smiled up at her.

“And you, dear?” She asked Steve.

“Good. I’m sorry I write kind of slow.”

Steve’s face was red, like he was embarrassed. Eddie watched as he focused on the paper in front of him, his hand moving slowly across the paper.

Steve’s concussions had a lot of lasting effects; migraines and one ear that was barely working, the occasional speech delay, and an inconvenient struggle with writing, especially if it was answering questions about himself like this.

Eddie distracted Fran as he wrote his last answer, talking to her about her favorite part of the sanctuary and how long she’s been working here.

He handed the packet to her when he was done, glancing over at Steve to see he was just starting on the last page.

“Hey, Fran, would it be okay if you helped me get our bags from the car while Steve finishes up?”

Steve sent him a grateful smile as he continued answering the questions on the paper.

As he walked with Fran to the car, she touched his arm.

“He’s got a lot going on, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah. He’s been dealing with this a lot longer than I have,” Eddie smiled sadly at her, touching her hand to accept the comfort she was giving and give some in return. “I hope this works for both of us, but I’d be happy as long as it works for him.”

“You care a lot about him.”

It wasn’t a question, and her tone wasn’t judging, but Eddie could just tell. He should panic, he should tell her it wasn’t like that. And it wasn’t for Steve.

But he’d been hiding it for so long, and somehow successfully, he couldn’t lie to her.

“I love him. He doesn’t know how much. I did this for him, mostly. I mean I want it to help me too, but I know he wouldn’t have tried this if I didn’t come and he,” Eddie sighed. “He needs this. He can’t keep going like he has been.”

Fran pulled him into a hug and he did all he could not to start crying.

“He’s lucky to have you on his side no matter what, darling. And I’d bet anything he thinks the same of you,” she said softly.

“I don’t think it’s quite the same. He loves me like a friend, but he’s not…not like me.”

Gay. He wasn’t gay. Or even a little into men. Eddie was sure of that.

Fran pulled away and just smiled at him.

“Okay, then. Let’s get these bags inside.”

They managed to bring everything in in one trip, and by the time they made it back inside, Steve was done with his packet.

“Alright!” Fran clapped her hands together in excitement. “To your room!”

Eddie’s eyes widened.

“Room? Like, just one?”

“Yep! The other room we have for long-term residents is already taken for the next few weeks. Will that be okay?”

She was smiling innocently at Eddie, who knew she knew why he was suddenly panicking.

“That’s fine. We end up sharing a room all the time, right, Eds?” Steve asked as he grabbed his own bags from the floor.

“Uh. Yep. Totally fine.”

“Great!”

She led them out the back of the front office, down the sidewalk that led to a row of small buildings.

“This first building is storage. The next one is the short-term stays, usually people who donate frequently to keep us running, staying for a night or two to see where their money goes. This next building is for long-term stays. That’s you two. It’s split into a duplex, so you’ll have basically a studio apartment in there. Kitchen, bathroom, living area with a sectioned off area as the bedroom. You each will have a key, but keep in mind that the director also has a key for emergencies. The janitorial staff only goes if requested, so let me know if you feel it needs a sprucing up or you need new sheets or anything. Fridge is stocked and gets restocked every two weeks.” She paused as they made it to the steps to the building. “Oh! We don’t technically have a curfew for the guests. You’re adults and we trust you on your journey here. But we do ask that you try to be back no later than 11, as we often shut off many of the trail lights by midnight to ensure the animals have the closest replica of the wild as possible.”

Steve and Eddie nodded, eyes wide at all the information being thrown at them so quickly.

“Your room has a phone of course. You’re free to use as often as you’d like. Pressing 1 gets you in touch with the front office, 2 is for security, 3 is for the director’s office. I recommend calling the front office unless it’s an emergency so we can get in touch with the right people for you. After your tour, you’ll have free reign over the entire sanctuary except for anywhere marked employees and volunteers only. That’s for your safety, of course. We encourage you to be a part of some of the educational tours and seminars that we offer to the general public as well as enjoy time on your own with the wolves. Volunteers are here every day from 9 to 5, and the employees who help care for the wolves stay until 11. We have security here 24/7, but the director usually has a couple people on staff remain after regular hours in case of an animal emergency.”

This felt a little overwhelming, but he could already tell Steve was more relaxed here than he’d been anywhere else since he met him.

“I work when they need me, but my home number is by the phone in there for you just in case you need a chat. I retired a couple years ago so I spend a lot of my time at home with my dog. You’re never a bother, okay?”

They both nodded.

She hugged them both, handed them their keys, and started to walk away.

“Your tour will be in about an hour. James is running it today. You’ll love him!”

She was gone before they could even respond, so they looked back to each other and shrugged before heading inside.

The main door was unlocked, but the door inside marked with a “2” was locked. Steve unlocked it and pushed the door open.

The apartment was nice, but small, smaller than either of them had expected.

“Guess we’ll be getting pretty close for the next month, huh?” Steve joked.

Eddie’s heart was in his throat.

He could see the “bedroom” from where he stood. It was one queen sized bed. One.

“Um. Yep. Guess so. I can take the couch,” Eddie rushed out.

Steve clearly hadn’t seen the sleeping arrangement yet or he would have probably offered. He’s a self-sacrificing idiot, so Eddie had to rush to offer before he could.

“What? Why?”

Eddie gestured towards the bed.

“There’s plenty of room for both of us, dude. A month on the couch isn’t exactly gonna help with the nightmares.”

“It looks pretty cozy.”

Steve just stared at him, brows raised like Eddie was an idiot.

He was an idiot, but he didn’t need Steve thinking it.

“Eddie. Seriously. We can share a bed.”

Steve wouldn’t let him win, it’s just not who Steve was.

“Okay, okay! Let’s just unpack so we can go see some wolves or whatever.”

They unpacked in silence, Steve taking the spot closest to the door without Eddie having a choice.

Self-sacrificing idiot.

—--------------

James knocked on their door at exactly 4:00, like he’d been standing there waiting for the clock to change over from 3:59.

“Hello! I’m James. You’re Steve and Eddie?”

They all shook hands and James started explaining things quickly.

James was only a bit older than them, wearing a volunteer shirt that had seen better days, and had the energy of Dustin.

“So! I’m gonna show you the lay of the land, you can ask me questions, I can try to answer them, and then I can drop you off back here so you can eat. The first night can be a bit of an adjustment, so feel free to give me a call if you have trouble. My number is under Fran’s,” James spoke rapid-fire, but not so fast they couldn’t keep up. They were used to that, anyway.

“So to start, everything you guys really need is along this main trail.” He pointed the way they came earlier and then the other direction. “That way leads to our nutrition area for the wolves, which you are welcome to visit anytime during the day to help or feed some of the rehabilitated wolves in the building nextdoor which is the hospital. The hospital is only open to the guests staying here and employees from 12-5, just because much of the mornings are spent performing surgeries or checkups. You’re encouraged to spend time with any of the wolves there in recovery as it helps their spirits much like a person. But if you take the left at the fork in this trail, you’ll be led to other trails. The first one is the wolf enclosures, which I’m taking you to now.” He kept walking as he spoke, moving his hands constantly, big smile keeping Eddie and Steve enthralled.

“We have one specifically for the ones we’ve rescued who are still healing from injuries, and that one is off limits to everyone between dusk and dawn. Many of these wolves are relearning how to be wild and part of that is using the night to hunt. Being in their cage during those times could be dangerous. They wouldn’t necessarily eat you,” he paused to laugh. “But they may take a bite. Now! The second enclosure is where we keep Herald. You can laugh at his name.” Eddie let out a small laugh.

“Herald had a rough upbringing. He was rescued about six months ago from a traveling circus that had abused him for at least a few years. We think he’s about 5 years old, but can’t be 100% certain. He’s hesitant around all people, even the director. He can be very unpredictable, so only the director, vet, and head nutritionist are allowed in there. You’re welcome to visit from the outside anytime you’d like though! He’s shy, but it can’t hurt having people talk to him.”

James was walking pretty quickly, and if Steve wasn’t so in shape, he’d be struggling. He looked over at Eddie. Eddie was struggling a little, but didn’t want to stop or slow down.

“And the last enclosure is for the rest of the wolves. These are ones that may be reintroduced to the wild soon or who may have been rescued without injuries, but just aren’t ready to go yet. This enclosure has a few areas for public access. The first being the feeding area, the second being the petting area. The petting area is only able to be accessed when employees or volunteers are present. The third area is only for guests staying long term such as yourselves.”

James walked them through a gate off to the side of the enclosure.

“This area is my favorite in the whole sanctuary. It’s their den area. It’s not recommended to come alone, and you should always go to the petting area to meet them first, but this area is nice for anyone who wants to feel like a part of the pack.”

“We can go in there?”

“Again, it’s definitely recommended to meet the wolves in the petting area first, maybe feed them a few times to show them you’re a friend, but yes.”

“Huh.”

Eddie watched Steve’s reaction.

This was much more involved than they expected to be.

“So that’s the enclosures! The next part of this trail leads to a walking and biking trail that is a great way to see some nature without having to leave the area. It’s snake season, though, so make sure you know your snake safety beforehand and bring the provided whistle with you in case of an emergency. Volunteers and employees are always within hearing distance during normal hours and can usually respond within 3-4 minutes.”

“Could we go back to Herald?”

Eddie’s head snapped to Steve, who was looking at James with a kind smile.

“Oh. Well, sure. The only other thing I needed to show you was the trail leading to the lake, but we can go back after.”

So James backtracked, Steve and Eddie close on his heels.

They got to the enclosure with Herald, but didn’t see him.

“He likes to hide. Especially if it isn’t close to meal time, he doesn’t usually come close to the fence. His den is hidden away.”

Steve kept walking up to the fence as James spoke, Eddie watching and trying to figure out what was going on.

“Herald? You there?” Steve called gently into the fence. Wolves had excellent hearing, and he’d probably already heard them approach. “You can come say hi if you want to.”

Eddie stood next to Steve, looking out at the area in the enclosure. There was a good mix of forest and empty area, with plenty of things that were probably used as toys scattered around. He watched for any sign of movement, listened for any trotting over.

Nothing.

Steve looked incredibly disappointed, but James walked closer and gave them both a smile.

“Like I said, Herald isn’t very social and it’s nothing personal. He doesn’t even seem to like the director and all the wolves love her.”

But Eddie knew Steve. He knew that he wasn’t gonna let that shit go.

“Alright! Shall we head to the trail by the lake?”

Eddie watched as Steve sighed, but nodded.

—--------------

Steve cooked them dinner that evening, said it helped him relax and that he would feel more at home if he got into a routine.

Eddie wouldn’t complain; He loved Steve’s cooking.

He made a basic spaghetti dish, even toasted some bread and sprinkled some garlic powder on it to make garlic bread.

They sat at the small table by the front door and ate in silence.

“It’s really quiet here.”

Eddie looked up to see Steve staring down at his plate, biting his lip nervously.

“It’s kind of nice though. Peaceful.”

“Yeah.”

Eddie knew what he was worried about.

He was worried the silence would make him have more nightmares instead of less, that he’d be left with nothing to help him if this failed.

“Hey,” Eddie reached over and patted Steve’s hand that rested on the table. “I’m here, alright? You won’t be alone.”

“Yeah,” Steve agreed, only slightly relaxing back into his seat.

—--------------

The next day was relaxed.

They walked along the main trail after breakfast, happy to see Fran again and meet some new people.

They stopped at Herald’s enclosure, but still didn’t see or hear him.

Steve was disappointed, but it was hidden away when they were able to feed and pet some of the other wolves before lunch.

The wolves were all beautiful, clearly well taken care of, and even the ones still in recovery were cleaned, well-fed, and cared for by the team.

Eddie quickly had a favorite: Mabel. She was an “old woman” as the employee at the feeding area said. She was 12 years old, had been brought in from the side of the road after being hit. She had had a broken leg and many broken ribs, along with cuts that needed stitches. Not the worst they’d seen, but due to her being nearly 11 at the time, they didn’t expect her to pull through. She did though, and had quickly become known as the leader of the group. All the wolves respected her, it was clear even to Eddie and Steve. She was the first to the feeding area, the first to the petting area, and would often stand guard over the others as they went into the shared spaces.

She was light brown with gray speckled throughout, her scars visible, but mostly covered with hair.

Steve loved Mabel, too, but he still had his heart set on Herald.

Eddie wasn’t stupid. He knew why Steve was so fixated on him.

Someone who was abused and hidden away and expected to perform every day for crowds of people? Yeah, Steve and Herald had quite a bit in common.

He just didn’t want him to get his hopes up for nothing.

After lunch, they decided to walk over to the nutrition center, maybe learn something new.

It was educational, and fun, and Eddie said multiple times how much he wished actual school had been like this.

The nutritionists let them help set up all the wolves’ dinners, showing them portion sizes for each of the wolves, telling them what the wolves’ favorites were. How they celebrated birthdays for them.

It was fun. Steve even cracked some smiles throughout.

—--------------

That night was rough.

Steve had fallen asleep quickly, much to Eddie’s delight, but it didn’t last long.

Eddie was woken up not long after he fell asleep by whimpering. He glanced at the alarm clock by the bed. 10:38. Barely an hour.

He knew from experience that waking Steve up would just make things worse for him, so he gently set his hand on Steve’s side, the best support he could give right now.

It physically pained Eddie to watch Steve’s face tighten in fear and sadness, whatever his nightmare was this time painting a horrifying picture he couldn’t escape.

Steve had mentioned once that his worst nightmares weren’t even about reliving anything that happened. They weren’t anyone dying, though he had those too. They weren’t even him dying.

They were everyone turning on him, finally seeing he wasn’t worth their time or effort, leaving him alone in that big empty house just like his parents did. He said the worst part was when Robin and Eddie left in the nightmare. When they looked at him with disgust and said he wasn’t good enough for the kids, and he damn sure wasn’t good enough for them.

No matter how many times they told him that would never be true, he still had them.

Ten minutes went by, agonizingly slowly, tears falling down Steve’s face. Eddie was whispering words of comfort, hoping that somehow Steve could hear him, but knowing he probably couldn’t.

But finally, Steve’s eyes opened, the whimpering stopped, and he was no longer hearing and seeing what hurt him the most.

He sat up and wiped his eyes, but the tears kept coming and his breathing was still labored.

Eddie sat up with him, hand on his arm, thumb rubbing back and forth to keep him present.

“I think I need to walk it off,” Steve said, voice wet with tears still to come.

“Okay. Do you want me to come with you?”

Steve shook his head.

“No, go back to sleep. I’ll only be out for a few minutes.”

And as much as Eddie knew that was a lie, and knew he should probably go with Steve, he had to trust him.

He’d be safe. He had to be.

—--------------

Steve walked aimlessly up and down the main trail for 10 minutes, trying to breathe in the fresh air, focus on his surroundings.

It wasn’t working as well as he’d hoped, but it was better than staying in bed and letting Eddie see him like this.

Eddie was too kind, always. He was bright, like the sun and the stars and the moon on a clear night. He was everything. And if Steve let himself be too vulnerable, too much, Eddie would take that light.

He lost track of where he was going, his breaths coming in sharper pants now as he let more tears fall.

A noise made him freeze.

Leaves rustling.

He looked up to see Herald’s enclosure in front of him. And…

Herald.

Herald was huge, much bigger than any of the other wolves they’d seen so far. He was beautiful. Scars along his legs showing that he had been abused awfully before coming here, but the rest of him glowed with health. He was standing about eight feet from the fence, trying to hide some of his body still behind the bushes along the forest line.

Steve slowly made his way to the fence, his hands up to show he wasn’t going to cause any harm.

Herald didn’t come closer, but he didn’t back or run away either.

Steve counted that as a win.

He instantly slumped to the ground at the fence, his hands and head resting against the chain links like they were the only thing keeping him upright. Maybe they were.

Steve closed his eyes.

He was so focused on staying calm, he couldn’t hear Herald approach. But he suddenly felt a cold, wet nose against his head.

He didn’t panic, he didn’t want to scare Herald, but he realized suddenly that his fingers were very much easily accessed by sharp teeth.

He let Herald sniff him, then slowly looked up.

Herald was tilting his head at him, almost as if he was asking if he was okay.

That made Steve sob.

Herald jumped slightly, but then moved so he was completely against the fence, laying down so his warm body could be against Steve’s.

Steve slowly let his hands fall, reaching through the fence slowly to let them rest in Herald’s fur.

He felt the wolf sigh, and he couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yeah, I get it. Sometimes it’s nice to have someone care, huh? You’re so soft,” Steve whispered, knowing Herald was still not completely relaxed around him.

“You tired?”

Steve felt a little silly for asking a wolf a question, but he felt even sillier when he realized Herald had just moved his head up and down. It was probably a coincidence, but the timing was crazy.

“Me too. We should get some sleep.”

Herald huffed and rolled his head back against the fence.

“Want me to stay?”

Herald huffed again.

“Okay.”

So Steve stayed.

He sat down on the ground, back against the fence, and listened to the crickets and the steady breaths of Herald.

He was woken up by Eddie shaking him and a growl coming from behind him.

“Steve! Jesus, I thought you’d got lost or died or something.”

“How long have I been out here?”

“It’s nearly two in the morning!”

Herald was growling behind him, protectively pacing behind Steve like he would find a way to get through the fence if Eddie tried to hurt him.

“Hey, Herald, it’s okay. This is Eddie. He’s here with me. He’s my friend,” Steve said calmly, holding his hand through the fence so Herald could sniff him and see he was okay.

“Steve! Get your hand out of there. He isn’t friendly, remember?”

“Oh, please. He just slept by me for hours and let me hold his fur like he was a stuffed animal. He’s plenty friendly.”

Eddie just stared, jaw slack, as he realized Steve was right.

Herald was licking Steve’s hand, leaving his scent on him like he was trying to provide as much protection as possible.

“You made friends with the only wolf here who hates people. Unbelievable.”

“Hey, be nice. He just needs some love is all.”

Eddie nodded. Yeah, him and another person with a name that started with S and rhymed with sleeve.

Eddie’s heart had been racing for the last 15 minutes since he woke up and realized Steve wasn’t in bed next to him or anywhere in the apartment.

He finally took a deep breath, balling his shaking hands into fists and stuffing them into the pocket of his hoodie.

“We should head back inside, Stevie.”

Steve seemed to notice Eddie wasn’t doing so great.

“I’m alright, Eds. Hey, look at me.” Eddie looked at Steve’s face, the way he seemed more relaxed than when he first left after his nightmare. “I’m okay. I must have fallen asleep.”

Eddie took a deep breath, resting his head against Steve’s shoulder as he let it out.

“I thought you were gone.”

“Nah, you can’t get rid of me now.”

“No?”

“Nope. Herald and I are just good friends, but you’re still-” Steve cut himself off, but Eddie wasn’t going to let that pass.

“What?”

“Nothing. Not important.”

“Yeah it is. Tell me.”

Steve seemed nervous, and Herald must have sensed it because he let out a low growl.

“It’s just that you mean a lot to me. Kind of everything, actually.”

Eddie couldn’t breathe.

What did that even mean?

Steve’s hand was suddenly in his hair, playing with the ends the way Eddie did when he was nervous.

“You’re just. I mean, how could you not mean the world to me? You dropped everything to come here with me because you knew I wouldn’t do it alone, Eds. You bring me candy at work even though I literally have access to all the candy I want at the counter. You let me find reasons not to watch the scary movies on movie nights when Dustin picks because you know I can’t handle them. You swim in the pool with me alone so no one knows how much I still hate it. I…you’re just…”

Eddie didn’t let him stutter any more, knowing what he was saying without actually saying it.

He knew what Steve was afraid of, and he wasn’t going to let him be scared anymore.

“Steve. I love you. That’s why I do all that. I love you. I’m in love with you. You deserve more than what I can give, but I can keep giving you all of the love I have, and hopefully that will be enough.”

Steve’s lips were on his before he finished speaking, teeth clacking together at the force of it.

Herald huffed, but they didn’t stop. Eddie didn’t know how he was supposed to now that he had Steve’s lips on his.

He never wanted them gone.

His hands reached up to Steve’s neck, cradling his jaw between them as if he was holding something precious. He was.

“I love you so much,” Steve said against his lips, melting against Eddie.

“I love you, Stevie,” Eddie said back. He planted another soft kiss to his lips before resting their foreheads together. “Let’s go back to bed, okay? We can come see Herald after breakfast.”

Steve nodded and turned to Herald.

“I’ll be back. Don’t hide from me, okay?”

He reached in to give Herald’s head a scratch, and Eddie shook his head in disbelief.

It took less than 48 hours for Steve to have the one wolf in this sanctuary who didn’t like people completely wrapped around his finger.

But Eddie could relate.

Steve’s charm was damn near impossible to resist and now he didn’t have to try.

[sunkissed-zegras]

✮ 𝐭𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬, nhl players

♡ ─ pairing(s) | quinn hughes x fem!reader, jack hughes x fem!reader, luke hughes x fem!reader, alex turcotte x fem!reader, trevor zegras x fem!reader

♡ ─ summary | types of kisses that i think these players would give!

♡ ─ warnings | kissing (obviously LOL), mention of migraines, mention of criticism/hate, just overall fluff lmk if i missed anything

♡ ─ taglist | tbd! check out link in navigation!

♡ ─ ev's notes | THIS WAS SO CUTE, i loved it. i remember reading something similar to this but i can't remember who wrote it, so if y'all know who just tell me so i can credit them lol. this was one of my favorite things to write, it was short and sweet just how i like it. if you guys want a part 2, let me know, maybe like umich players or more nhl players. anyways, enjoy!!!!

♡ quinn hughes kissing their injuries

when you two had first gotten together, it started as a little joke. anytime he'd get a little injury, even something as small as a paper-cut, you'd kiss it. and every single time, quinn's heart would melt. now, quinn relies on you to make him feel better even if it is a little joke. one day, you were struck by a painful migraine. the throbbing in your head was relentless, and you couldn't find any relief. you laid in bed, your entire head feeling like it weighed a million pounds and your eyes blurry. in that painful moment, quinn leaned down and placed a tender kiss on your temple. it was a gesture of love and empathy, his way of trying to alleviate your pain, just like you always did with him. as his lips touched your skin, you felt a wave of warmth wash over you. the pain, though still present, seemed to lose some of its intensity. but it wasn't just the relief from the migraine that struck you. it was the overwhelming feeling of love and care that quinn's kiss had conveyed, and in that moment you knew that you loved quinn more than anyone else in the world.

♡ jack hughes comforting kisses

in the world of constant criticism and hatred, jack felt like he couldn't find any comfort in anything anymore. that was until he met you. you were the embodiment of warmth and comfort to jack, every moment spent with you felt like a beacon of light in his otherwise gloomy existence. every interaction with you felt like a warm, inviting embrace, like a soft, cozy blanket on a chilly winter's night. and that was just your mere energy, your kisses felt were on a whole other playing-field. until he met you, kisses were just kisses but now they had the power to erase his worries, and to melt away the troubles that weighed on his heart. they weren't just physical gestures anymore; they were a testament to your love and care. they were a silent promise that, in your arms, he would always find solace and warmth. jack couldn't help but be captivated by the tenderness and affection that your kisses conveyed. in a world that often seemed devoid of kindness, your presence and affection became a lifeline for jack. you were the antidote to the poison of negativity that threatened to consume him. your love was the source of his strength, a sanctuary where he could find respite from the world's harshness.

♡ luke hughes first kisses

the first kiss between you and luke was a moment of pure innocence and wholesomeness, filled with a deep sense of care and affection. it was a memory that would forever be etched in both of your hearts that set the mood for the rest of your relationship. it happened on a warm summer evening at the lake house before you both left for college. as the sun dipped below the lake, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink. you had been spending time together, talking and laughing, sharing stories and dreams. the conversation flowed effortlessly but then there was a gentle pause, a moment of unspoken understanding between you. the world seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of you standing there, bathed in the soft, golden glow of the setting sun. with a shy smile, luke reached out, his hand brushing against yours, fingers interlocking in a tender embrace. it was a simple gesture, yet it spoke volumes of the affection that had already begun to grow between you. your heart raced as you met his gaze, eyes locking in a shared moment of vulnerability and anticipation. the world seemed to hold its breath as you leaned in, your lips drawing closer to his, guided by an unspoken desire. when your lips finally met, it was a soft and gentle kiss, filled with all the sweetness of a first touch. it was a kiss that spoke of trust and tenderness, a promise of something beautiful blooming between you. as your lips lingered against his, you could feel the warmth of his smile, a silent affirmation of the connection you both felt. it was a kiss that held the promise of many more to come.

♡ alex turcotte accidental kisses

it was obvious, alex was head over heels for you. the way he talked to you, the way his eyes lit up when you talked to him, the way he talked about you ─ it was painfully obvious to everyone who knew alex. when he talked to you, his voice would soften, becoming a gentle, tone that was reserved only for you. he listened intently to your words, hanging on to every syllable as if they were precious secrets meant only for him. it was as though the world faded into the background when he engaged in conversation with you, his undivided attention focused solely on you. but it wasn't just in the way he spoke; it was also in the way he looked at you. his eyes lit up with an unmistakable brightness whenever you entered the room or caught his gaze. it was a look of genuine adoration, as if he couldn't believe his luck to have you in his life. your presence had the power to brighten his day, and it was evident in the warmth that radiated from his gaze. one day, you two hung out alone in your apartment to watch harry potter, who was your favorite series (which also happened to be his, too). as the rain tapped gently on your windowpane, you and alex curled up on the couch, surrounded by an array of blankets and pillows. the soft glow of the TV illuminated the room as the opening notes of the harry potter theme music filled the air. it was a familiar and comforting sound, setting the perfect mood. then, as you reached behind him to get the remote, alex thought you were leaning in for a kiss. he immediately started to freak out but he leaned in and kissed you, too. as he leaned away and he took a look at the confused look in your eyes, panic set in as he realized he might have misread the situation. what if you were just reaching for the remote? what if he was about to make a complete fool of himself? you instantly let out a soft laugh which somehow, made his anxiety worse. but then you put a hand on his cheek and kissed him again, a sweeter kiss than the one before. in that moment, the doubts and fears that had plagued him faded away, replaced by the warmth and certainty of your affection. this second kiss was different from the first. it was softer, sweeter, and filled with an undeniable warmth. it was a kiss that erased any lingering doubts and replaced them with a newfound sense of connection and affection. it was a kiss that told alex everything he needed to know. when you eventually pulled away, your eyes met his, mirroring the newfound clarity in your connection. no words were necessary to articulate what had just transpired between you both.

♡ trevor zegras angry kisses

you and trevor were stubborn which meant every argument was terrible. your unwavering determination was part of what drew you to each other, but it also meant that neither of you was willing to back down easily. at first, it might seem like a manageable fight, but as your stubbornness came into play, the situation would quickly escalate. voices would rise, and tempers would flare. each of you was convinced of your own viewpoint, and neither was willing to yield. the arguments would become intense, filled with impassioned words, and sometimes even hurtful accusations. arguments with trevor could be exhausting and emotionally draining, but they were also a testament to the passion and love that existed between you. neither of you could stand to see the other upset, which often led to passionate reconciliations after the storm of an argument had passed. and after every single fight, no matter how bad it was, trevor would always be the one to budge to everyone's surprise. he never wanted to lose you so even in the worst of both of your moments, he always was willing to compromise his ego for the wellbeing of your relationship. and after every single fight, he'd give you a kiss to mend things with the both of you. it was a sweet and passionate kiss. each time his lips met yours in that tender, passionate kiss, it was a silent promise that he would do whatever it took to keep your relationship strong and thriving. it was a way of saying, "i love you, and i'm sorry," without needing words.

-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-

thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for taking everything I can from a former friend?

I 20 met this guy J 24M last year through a mutual friend, and since we happened to live in the same neighborhood we hung out more. For context, during this entire time I am/was also supporting an unrelated person financially, so I need every penny and have way less than J.

J has borderline personality disorder and does not go to therapy. I don't want to vilify anyone in the same situation, I'm just bringing it up because J's bps deeply impacts every aspect of his life.

He'd been going through some tough times, with his love life going to shit, cutting off his toxic family and having to find his own apartment etc, so I helped him often.

Since neither of us have much, we shared stuff regularly, e.g. he'd buy me food sometimes and I gave J my skateboard, among other things. I painted his walls & decorated, because I have the skill necessary and he doesn't. I went out to look at furniture with him. I asked my parents to give him furniture they were selling (he got it free). I frequently went to his place in the middle of the night, whether he had splitting migraines or thought someone had tried to break in. I helped him organize a Christmas party, even though he cancelled it because he got angry at someone or something. I cooked for him a few times (he doesn't cook). I let him use my washing machine after he moved into his new apartment without one, even though he owned a cat so all his clothes were covered in cat hair and I have a severe cat allergy, meaning I couldn't do my laundry normally & sometimes it came out with cat hair no matter how hard I tried (this lasted 8 months and would have gone on indefinitely if not for following events). Btw I did all of this without asking for anything in return.

Earlier this year, because of his ridiculously high expectations, he dumped his best friend at the time (the mutual friend), and assigned me his new best friend. After a few months, they became friends again anyway but I kept the "best friend" title.

In July, he hurt his dominant hand during an angry outburst. I was there when it happened but he seemed fine at the time. When he came to do his laundry the next day, Sunday, he told me that his hand was sprained and we talked about how he'd need to see the doctor the next day. He agreed to go. He promised to go to the doctor.

I know he's not good with going to doctors, especially on his own. So I texted him the next day and asked if he'd already gone. He responded "Nope, don't feel like", and upon asking why, he said that "it'll heal on its own anyway". Which to me read as 'I don't care.'

This pissed me off. I blocked him. I planned to unblock him once I'd calmed down, probably in a few days. I was really upset about this because it happens regularly. Him not going to the doctor when he should is a pattern, a bad pattern. He's gotten me sick that way.

The next day he texted my partner, asking if I was okay. They explained that i was upset at him for telling me he'd go to the doctor but then not going. He blew up at them that it was none of my business anyway whether or not he went to the doctor. Whined about his medical anxiety (which is valid but wasn't the point). Said that the sprain was healing so he didn't have to go. They argued for a while until my partner got tired and stopped responding.

Apparently I am now no longer his friend. He asked our mutual friend to tell me to pick up my stuff. I'm busy these days, so I haven't done it yet.

When I pick up my stuff, it's gonna be a whole list of things: a seat/cushion, a stovetop, 75€ worth of comics, a measuring tape, the skateboard, a box. I'll also bring him laundry detergents that are laying around at my place still.

Now WIBTA if I ask him to also give me pain medication to replace all the meds I gave him and money for the furniture I got him for free at the time (I'll ask 40€ even though they're worth more)?

What are these acronyms?

[krazyyyyyy]

Hey hey! I love your Geo (and Hyugo) work so much I wanted to make a request! If this is too much, or potentially graphic, just ignore this. :] Geo x reader who's suicidal/depressed, but hides it well. (totally not mirroring here nooo) Or Hyugo with the same prompt. Or both, whatever you want. Thank you in advance either way, and I hope you have an excellent week!

Always by your side ( Hyugo/ Depressed Reader)

TW: Suicidal thoughts, Drug usage

Words: 1284

Notes: I'm so sorry if you're going through some difficult times at the moment. I hope this short little fic gives you a bit of comfort.

 When will it go away? Does it ever go away? Are you stuck with this? The heavy weight of misery tugs on your heart, causing a lingering ache in your chest that shows no signs of fading. You struggled to catch your breath, as your anxieties got the better of you, making you feel small and vulnerable.

You just wanted it all to end, the pain, the misery….everything. Every day, you woke up, things only got worse; food started to lose its taste, colors lost the vibrancy that used to bewitch you, and your hobbies seemed pointless and useless. At night, you would lie awake unable to sleep with the same question repeating in your head: ‘Is life worth living?’

You lean against your hands, which were clamped on your bathroom sink's counter. You raise your head to look at yourself in the mirror; you looked a mess–a broken mess, with tears streaming down your cheeks and your hair out of place. What were you going to do with yourself?

A sudden tapping from outside the bathroom door startles you.“Y/N? You okay in there?” Hyugo’s muffled voice speaks from the other side of the door

You’re quick to wipe away the tears with the sleeves of your hoodie, composing yourself to the best of your abilities before speaking. How long have you been in here?

“Y-yeah, I’ll be out in a sec!” You prayed that he didn’t hear the strain in your voice, the last thing you wanted to do was worry him.

“Are you sure?” He persisted

“… Yeah, just need a minute.” You lay your head in your hands, as an instant migraine overwhelms you.

You hear him sigh, “Okay… Let me know if you need anything.” Faint footsteps let you know that he had walked away from the door, more than likely heading to the living room to watch another Sherlock Homes movie.

… Your pills… you have to go take your pills… they might be able to clear your head from all these dark thoughts. You hated having to rely on them every time you felt like this… but what other choice did you have?

You hated yourself even more, given the fact you took the pills behind Hyugo’s back. He remained unaware of your current mental state, as you did well to push all your feelings deep down inside, and then wear a smile to cover it all up. You hoped that your condition would get better with time and would disappear one day. But, instead, it got much worse with each passing day. Yet, you still didn’t have the heart to tell him about it; you knew he’d do anything to help you get better, but you couldn’t let him drop everything to help you…you didn’t deserve that from him.

After adjusting yourself, you give one last look in the mirror, before rushing out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. You kept the antidepressants hidden underneath a stack of clothes in your dresser, somewhere you thought Hyugo would never find them.

You’re quick to open and search the contents of the drawer for the pills, but to your horror, they are nowhere to be found. In an act of sheer desperation, you search through every single drawer in hopes that you have just misplaced them by mistake. Alas, the medication is still missing, meaning you would just have to go on without them until you got a new bottle. 

Your body shook anxiously, feeling the intense waves of depression hit you like a steel drum. There had to be something you could do to get rid of the emptiness that started to overwhelm you… Maybe watching that movie with Hyugo would take your mind off things…hopefully.

Closing all the drawers of your dresser, you stand up and start making your way toward the living room, which is right down the hall from your bedroom. 

After walking the short distance, you make it, but are immediately confused to find Hyugo standing in the middle of the living room with his back turned to you. He seemed to be intently looking at something he held in hand.

“Hyugo?” You called out to him, as you stepped closer to where he was standing. He remained unmoving where he stood, making you think he didn’t hear you at first. But after a brief moment, he finally turned his body to face you. He looked at you with worry and hurt in his eyes, nearly on the verge of tears. It broke your heart to see him look at you this way, and just when you were about to ask him what was wrong; your gaze shifted to what he held in his hand, and you instantly felt your heart drop.

In his hand, were the pills you had desperately tried to keep hidden from him for the longest time. Your secret was out, and now you had to deal with the backlash that came with it; this wasn’t something Hyugo wouldn’t let go so easily.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He gestures toward the pill bottle in his hand, his voice filled with deep hurt. After being together for a few months, he believed you two could tell each other anything…or at least he thought so. While you were in the bathroom, Hyugo, who could tell you were unwell, had opted to help you with some unfinished chores around your apartment. While putting away some of your folded clothes, he discovered the pills, and upon finding them, he felt his heart shatter. His mind was swarmed with questions, ‘Did you not trust him?’ ‘Was he the reason for your unhappiness?’

You choked back on a sob, “… I-I’m so sorry… I couldn’t… You shouldn’t have to deal with this.” Why should someone as bright and jovial as Hyugo have to deal with your darker, and painful inner struggles? This was supposed to be your fight…not his. 

Hyugo’s expression softens at your words. The hurt he had felt was eclipsed by the concern he had for you and your well-being. With the pill bottle falling to the floor, he reached out toward you, gently cupping your face in his hands, “Hey,” he spoke softly, with a warm smile on his face, “You don’t take to go through this alone, Whatever it is you're going through, I'm going to help through it. I’m here for you, always.”

Tears well up in your eyes as you meet his gaze, feeling the comfort and safety that his eyes often reflect. It hadn’t left completely, but the burden you felt had gotten just a bit lighter. With the unwavering support you received from your boyfriend, there was finally a glimpse of hope for the future.

“… I just…didn’t want to worry you,” you admit, tears streaming down your face. “I thought… I thought I could handle it on my own…”

Hyugo leaned down to press a soft kiss where a stray tear lingered on your cheek. “You don’t have to do anything by yourself, not when I’m here.” He said, his voice firm yet still cordial. He didn’t hesitate to pull you into a tight hug, burying his face in the crook of your neck.“I love you, but please don’t hide things like this from me anymore.”

Wrapping your arms around him, you rest your chin on his shoulder, relishing his warmth. “I won’t… I promise,”. From your response, you can feel Hyugo smile into the base of your neck.

You may have a long journey ahead you toward getting better, but with Hyugo at your side, it felt as though you could accomplish anything.

And you couldn’t be any more grateful.

[thefrontofmymind]

Proof Positive 4

a/n: i know, i know. its been a little while. i've been a bit distracted but i'm getting back into it all

series masterlist

It felt like your life had lurched to a stop when Ross went away for tour. On one side of the coin, all your work you’d been doing for months leading up to this tour had finally been set in motion and now you were supposed to just move on to the next project, and then on the other side of it, you were without the father of your baby. A baby that had been making it so that you could hardly swallow anything other than water without feeling a constant wave of nausea, even then, that was difficult to stomach.

It was a hard goodbye. You two had spent every day together for the past six weeks, you didn’t realise how much you’d preemptively miss him. You had to say goodbye at his flat, to keep with the secret between you both–it was still so new, you couldn’t quite wrap your heads around what was really happening yet, so you couldn’t just tell everyone about you three yet.

Once he’d left you in his flat, you just cried. You probably cried just as much as when you found out you were pregnant. Though that was for fear, this was just pure desolation. You texted each other constantly but with the time difference, his constant travel, and you now having some serious fatigue that resulted in many naps, it was hard to keep consistent.

You had to go to your ultrasound alone. It wasn’t even until you were sitting in the waiting room that you got the fear that something could be terribly wrong and you would be alone to deal with it. Yes, you were pregnant, but there could be every chance in the world that something could be wrong with the baby and you wouldn’t be able to carry it. Or that it was all just a false alarm.

In a trick of fate, there was some emergency and your doctor was far behind schedule so you had all the time in the world to dwell on your anxiety. You watched the other people in the waiting room with you; a woman around your age, quite a bit further along than you, with the biggest rock you’d ever seen on her left hand, a woman holding hands with another much older than her, her hair may have been greying out but their smiles were identical. Looking around you’d never felt so alone. You’d tried to busy yourself by scrolling through your phone but nothing could distract you from the hat trick of your melancholy, your nausea, and the fluorescent lights giving you a migraine.

You’d never felt such relief as when a nurse fetched you from the waiting room and led you down the hall to the ultrasound room. You met the sonographer, and she explained what she was looking for, confirmed that you were around six weeks along, and it was time.

You tried to keep your eyes off the black screen, splattered with white splotches, you didn’t want to look, you didn’t want to jinx it at all. 

Until a pounding filled the room, and your heart just melted.

“There we are!” The sonographer said excitedly. “Baby was hiding from me for a bit there!”

Now you couldn’t take your eyes off the screen. Watching as measurements were taken of the little dot that was unmistakable on the screen.

“We’re looking good…” She said again, writing down a few notes on the pad next to her. “Can you see alright?”

You nodded. “Do you mind if I record a bit of it? The heartbeat?”

“By all means,” she smiled. “And I’ll make sure you get some printouts.”

“Thank you. The dad’s in South America for work and he was gutted to miss this…”

“There’ll be plenty more things he can join you for,” she answered.

You recorded a video as the sound echoed throughout the room. It was almost hypnotising, the beat over and over again. Each time you thought you’d gotten a handle on it, you could finally wrap your head around it all, you were surprised each time it just got more and more real. And you still had eight months left of this.

“Well that’s it for us today, I’ll send this all over to your OB, and I’ll get you to book in for another scan in about two…three weeks time so we can keep an eye on bub.” She gave you a tissue to wipe the gel off your abdomen. “And I’ve sent the photos to the printer in reception so just ask them for the photos.”

Walking out of the blue-tinted building, you were immediately on your phone. 

would you look at who has the best beating heart?? [video attachment]

You were only four hours ahead of him, it was mid-morning for him, he’d see it soon enough. And soon enough, he did. Merely a minute after it was sent, your phone began ringing, you answered it without even looking at the ID.

“Holy shit!” Ross laughed, which you returned. “I…don’t know what to say!”

“Same!” You giggled. “We’re having a baby!”

The giddiness between the both of you was palpable. You both giggled through your conversation–you told him about the appointment, all the things the sonographer told you, and he told you how the tour was going, every detail of every show so far.

You heard someone talking to Ross, before he said to you, “we have soundcheck, I’ll call you later though?”

“I have a meeting with Atlantic Records people at 4 so in like two hours, I’ll text you when it’s over.”

“Alright…love you.”

“Love you too.”

It was only as you put your phone back in your bag after hanging up that you realised what you both said to each other. You didn’t even think about it, it fell so naturally out of your mouth. There was no fear, no worry, just a warmth spread through your chest–combatting the gust of early April wind that was blowing against you.

You wondered what Ross was thinking, whether it was something he planned to say or if it was as much of an instinct as it was to you. You hoped he didn’t worry if you would say it back, because obviously you would’ve–and you did. You pictured him as giddy as you, trying to focus on his soundcheck and not let the rest of the band suspect anything.

You couldn’t think about it for too long, making your way to your office, you had to turn that whole part of your brain off. It was work time.

You were always grateful for the respect that you had at work. Though, you supposed, it came with the commitment you’d put in, being one of the first workers for Dirty Hit, and staying with them for close to a decade now, it was very well earnt.

You got through your day blocking out the excitement, the giddiness, the nausea. Only finally taking a breath in the refuge of your home. You checked the time, four hours back is…three in the afternoon. You pressed call on the contact of the man you loved.

“Hello?” You heard chatter through the other side of the phone when he answered, laughs and yells–nothing unexpected.

“It’s me,” you answered.

“Hold on,” he said without another word. You heard the noise get quieter. “How are you?”

You let out a huff. “I love you!” You said with a laugh.

You heard him chuckle. “I love you too!”

You didn’t think you’d ever get over the feeling. The exhilaration you were feeling every time you two spoke now. Even just the thought of him could make you blush now.

“I wanted to say it properly,” you said. “Was thinking about it all day.”

“Were you? Daydreaming about me while you’re supposed to be working…” He teased. “Remember you’re working for me!”

“Sure, if that’s the way you think it works…” you quipped, which he laughed at.

“Either way I. Love. You.” He emphasised each word.

Then there was another voice, muffled but still just a little audible if you focussed. “Who you love, huh?” Unmistakably Matty.

“None of your fucking business, mate,” Ross answered.

“Fine! Fine if you don’t want to tell us…” You heard Matty say. “But we’ll all find out eventually…”

“Oh I’m sure,” Ross said. You heard whatever door Matty entered through shut again before Ross turned his attention back to you. “Sorry about that.”

“You’re acting like I haven’t known Matty as long as I’ve known you. I know what I’m in for here!”

“Yeah.” He breathed a sigh of relief. “We need to tell them eventually though.”

“We still have time.”

It went without saying. We still have time to actually fathom what’s happening here.

“I know,” he said. “Hate to go but…I have to.”

“Alright, knock ‘em dead,” you answered. “Love you.”

You could practically hear his smile through the phone. “Love you too”

[stitchthesewords]

hello

Or grian coming back from dl and he needs not only a cane but hes suffering from a bad-but-temporary case of tinnitus and cant get out of bed and no one sees him for a few days until scar comes over to talk bc holy shit dl and finds Grian in need of help

EXPAND UPON THIS. I AM INTRIGUED. if u want no pressure <3

-catmaidetho

WHEEZING WHATS SO FUNNY IS THAT I HAVE BEEN. STARING AT A WORD DOC ALL DAY TRYING TO <- Girl who is so dead from her job

To start w what the delightful @hitheeprithee said to me earlier that made me. Absolutely fucking insane. But Scar gifting one of his canes to Grian in the post-DL return to HC because he's having trouble with both just walking bc of the aches in his body and the dizzyness caused by the disorientation of being shouted apart. And grian tries, really, to be appreciative, but scar's cane doesnt sit at the right height and he's awkward with it so he just stays in bed and then a few days later Scar sheepishly shows up with a custom made cane for Grian that's the right height and has feathers carved into it and just. hhhh.

But its like. Grian having to learn to rely on others. And I mean this in like the. I am physically disabled and im still learinng. You are always learning how to do this. Every day is a new day for failures and learning in this task. And its grian who doesnt want to get out of bed, who's never felt his body be in such constant misery, not even after third life or last life. He went out - bad. I don't have the brain power to elaborate rn maybe I'll reblog this tomorrow but tldr: I headcanon that the deaths in the life series and way different to deaths on hermitcraft. They're permanently debilitating in some way, but the players keep coming back because they learn to cope, they hold tight to the love for each other that radiates through every time they go through it - anyway. This warden death hurts - and Scar is feeling it too, but not as bad, not as Severely, and furthermore he has coping skills in place already for chronic pains and aches and fatigue. Grian doesn't.

It's Scar showing up and adjusting Grian's pillows to help him sit up, nursing him to health with some food and water, an ice pack, a heating pad, some potions from Cub to help with the pains, to help manage. Its Scar teaching Grian to use a cane, to trust his weight to this inanimate object, to learn to use it as an extension of himself. Helping him learn the walking pattern. It's Scar opening up the bedroom window or whatever the fuck the equivalent is in Grian's base to help get some white noise and teaching Grian to focus on it to make the worst of the ringing go away, to massage the muscles in his head to help with the headaches and migraines.

Scar teaching Grian how to pull his weight up with other people, how to get up from the floor with his back hurts so much he can barely move, to shuffle around the room a little bit just to get the blood flowing in his legs.

And then its like. It's Grian leaning his head against Scar's chest and crying from frustration because his body wont cooperate and he's never had to deal with it before and he doesn't know how. And grian apologizing because he's just complaining about things scar lives with always. And Scar soothing Grian's worries and anxieties becaue he knows why grian's frustrated and its not guaranteed to help but by god he'll try, he'll try so hard to give grian the world back if he can.

god I wish i could elaborate more but. I am sleepy.

[highqueenofelfhame]

rowaelin // 5.3k words // ciwyw mastlist // playlist // masterlist

It had been a frustrating day to begin with. After failing to sleep for more than a collective two hours the night before, Rowan had tried to carry on with his day like he would any other Sunday. The conversation with Aelin, and more importantly her response, pounding with every slap of his shoes against the treadmill. Not even a full leg-day workout could dispel the dreadful, anxious energy brewing at the forefront of his mind. 

Lorcan had showed up at the house early in the afternoon and chewed his ass out for the red card. He was fully in Team Captain mode for the full lecture, barely letting Rowan get a word in edgewise. At some point he gave up on defending himself and let Lorcan get his rant out. Once he was finished, he’d flopped onto Rowan’s couch and gestured vaguely with his hands.

“Alright. Your turn. Talk about it.”

“I already told you I was sor–” He’d started, hands bracing his knees as he debated groveling on his knees for Lorcan to let up. It had been a long enough weekend and he couldn’t handle another half hour. Sure, he deserved being called a stupid, selfish bastard, but he was tired. There wasn’t much left for him to say other than he was sorry, and he’d already done that multiple times.

“I’m not talking about the match. The girl. Something’s bothering you, so talk. The other idiots aren’t here to give you shit about it.” The man had a point. Without everyone else there to make subtle digs, it was easier for him to nod his head and dive headfirst into the clusterfuck of a situation he was in with Aelin. 

To his credit, Lorcan listened to every word until it was all laying before them like a jigsaw puzzle. The pieces were hard to put together because there were about a million of them, all tiny, and several of them were missing entirely. Rowan couldn’t find the corners and didn’t know which way was up or down. Lorcan listened anyway. The migraine that had been coming on for the last few hours hit in full force when Lorcan compared it all to a fucking onion. 

“Give her space. Give her time. The shit with Lyria is a lot to unpack on its own. Add into it that you’ve found yourself in a similar, however different, situation with Aelin… it would be a lot for anyone. It’s an onion, mate. Shit has fucking layers to it.” Rowan had given him a flat look that caused Lorcan to raise his hands in front of his chest. “I’m just saying. Might also be a lesson to check the expirations on those rubbers before you use them, too. Twice in one lifetime? You are one unlucky bastard.”

“You’re not helping,” Rowan glowered, eyes narrowed into little slits. Even if it was good advice, it didn’t do him a lick of good at this point. So much for not getting any shit about this.

“What brand did you use? I need to avoid those fuckers like the plague.”

“Lorcan,” Rowan sighed exasperatedly, all ten fingers raking through his hair until it was a mess of tangles. 

“Just give her the space she asked for, Ro. She told you what to do. So do it.”

“It’s hard to give her space when I just want to be with her all the time,” he finally admitted, slumping back against the sofa. The position did nothing to help the throbbing in his head, but he didn’t move. 

“I really need to meet this woman if she has you, of all people, wound so tight you look like you’re about to explode,” Lorcan said with the shake of his head. “Do you think she’s worth all the trouble?” 

Rowan didn’t have to think about it. The answer was a huge, resounding yes. She was worth fighting for. He said as much and Lorcan nodded, eyes focused on the empty fireplace. 

“For what it’s worth… I’ve never seen you as happy as you are when you talk about her. Don’t get me wrong, until she cuts you a break and gives you a real chance, she’s on my shit-list. But she makes you happy. I’ve never seen you this way about a woman and I think… I think she pulls out the best parts of you.” Lorcan’s confession made Rowan’s chest feel a little tight. “Except for when she’s the reason you’re so pissed off you get carded.”

They had both shared a quiet laugh at that, then spent the rest of the evening sipping beer and watching the major sports channels for highlights of the other games that happened over the weekend. 

Hours later, Rowan truly was about to explode. Sleep was already hard to find despite scouring every drawer and pocket in his brain. When his phone pinged, hope had swelled that it was Aelin. As much as he loved to see her smiling face lighting up his phone, it was not what he had in mind. 

Rowan Whitethorn liked to think of himself as a man with self control and reason. Amongst his teammates he was known for being level-headed, someone that thought things through and didn’t jump the gun. To his core, he always had been those things– until he met Aelin Galathynius, and he was unraveling quicker than a dropped spool of thread. 

You know, the one that rolled under the bed and there was no hope of getting it back unless you kept pulling on the string. The spool would re-emerge from the shadows once the thread was in a mess of a knot at your feet and there was absolutely no hope of getting it wrapped back around its little home neatly. In fact, you might even scrap the whole thing and throw it in the garbage because the reward didn’t outweigh the tedious task at hand. 

Rowan felt like that unraveled spool of thread as he stared at his phone screen at two in the morning, the simple plastic phone case groaning under the pressure of his white-knuckled grip. The edges of his vision were hazy because he hadn’t blinked a single time since he saw the picture that Fenrys sent him. 

Mala fucking help him, he was going to murder his teammate. A brutal, bloody murder. Rowan had never been so sure that he was going to end up in fucking jail. 

Aelin was radiant– something that had been missing from her the last time he saw her. The woman in the picture was exactly the woman that had ripped his heart from his chest before he even knew what was happening. The more muted version he’d had over the weekend still held his throbbing, bleeding heart. But the woman beaming in the photo was the one who stole it in the first place. 

Her hair was down, the golden waves cascading over her shoulders and out of frame. With rose-kissed cheeks and plump, sensual lips spread wide in one of the smiles she used to give him, she was devastating. A little tipsy from his afternoon with Lorcan, Rowan had to physically restrain himself from tracing the shape of her mouth with his fingers. Gods, when did he become such a sap?

The first photo was just her. A tiny cocktail straw was between her teeth, eyes closed from the force of her smile. Her eyelashes seemed to graze the top of her cheeks they were so long. Because of the angle of the photo, taken from a lower, upturned angle, one of the golden lightbulbs gave her a halo. It was fitting, because she was a fucking angel. 

>> She’s even more beautiful in person. 

Rowan knew that. He was well aware of how fucking beautiful she was. But why did Fenrys know that? Why was he discovering the truth of it at two in the godsdamn morning? 

>> What the fuck? 

<< I mean, if you’re not going to, she should get it from somewhere. You haven’t had sex in her bed yet, have you?

>> Fenrys I swear to the fucking gods if you touch her I’m not responsible for what happens to your face.

The picture that followed made him want to throw his phone across the room and hope it shattered into a million pieces he couldn’t put back together. Someone across the table had taken it, probably Connall if he had to guess. Aelin’s arm was around Fenrys’s neck and they were cheek to cheek with matching smiles. Mischief was wild in Fen’s eyes while Aelin just looked… happy. 

And then he noticed, just at the edge of the picture, how low on her hip his godsdamn hand was and he thought he was going to lose his mind. Yep. He was definitely going to be arrested for homicide in a few hours. The mugshot would be in every newspaper in the country, across the world, and he didn’t care. 

>> She’s just wearing minty lip balm. My face will be nothing but hydrated and tasty.

<< You motherfucker

>> Well… not yet 😉

And then Fenrys stopped replying. 

The self-control and level-headedness he had once prided himself in was nowhere to be seen. He tried to pull on the thread of his sanity, to tell himself it didn’t matter, that all of this was fine. Yet every time he looked back at the screen, every muscle and tendon in his body was so taught it felt as though one movement would have them all in ribbons. 

Rowan hadn’t ever had a relationship where he felt the need to protect as much as he did with Aelin. Maybe it was partially because of the baby, but a roaring silence filled his head at the thought of her with another man, least of all Fenrys fucking Moonbeam. If Fenrys respected any kind of friendship code, he wouldn’t even act like he was thinking about toeing that line. 

It felt stupid. They were barely dating and only knew the tip of the iceberg with each other. Still, there was something so different with her. For the first time in almost a decade, he had let his guard down. There were no mile high cement walls around his heart with nowhere to grasp to climb up and over. He was just Rowan, an unopened book with unexplored pages begging to be read.  

It was highly unlikely that he was the only person that found himself inexplicably drawn to her. She was sweeter and more intoxicating than any drug, than any brand of alcohol money could buy.  Aelin Galathynius had the energy of someone that you just wanted to taste once, because once she was gone you wouldn’t experience anything like her ever again. Coming so close to losing her, Rowan was keenly aware of that fact, and he wasn’t sure how he would ever move on if they didn’t really give themselves the chance to explore it. They were opposite ends of two very strong magnets. It was impossible that she didn’t feel that, too. 

Rowan Whitethorn didn’t open up to just anybody. He didn’t let people in. Aelin wasn’t just a fluke. He was absolutely sure of it. 

The thoughts wouldn’t stop chattering through his brain. Words flashed behind his closed eyelids a thousand miles a minute, leaving nothing but explosions of stars and colors where he tried to rub them away. Every time he looked at his phone, the desire to get in his car and drive to Aelin’s grew stronger and stronger. It was becoming an itch that he couldn’t he couldn’t ignore, and once the sun finally started to peek in through his blinds, he was rolling out of bed and nearly running to shower and change clothes. 

By the time eight rolled around, he had forced a small bowl of cereal down his throat and downed what was probably too many cups of coffee. By eight-fifteen, Rowan was in his car and speeding toward the highway to Varese with something that belonged to Aelin sitting in his front seat. 

~*~

Rowan felt… Well, he felt insane. 

Not for the first time, he was asking himself what the fuck he was doing as he knocked on the door to Aelin’s apartment. At several red lights through the city, he debated going home. Halfway up the staircase, he had paused and gone down three steps, only to turn around and march right back up and to her door. The echoing of his fist on the wood had him hesitating once again, wondering if he should just get in his car and go home. He had no clue what he was doing here, besides just needing to see her and make sure that both she and the baby were okay, regardless of her late night activities. 

That’s what he was telling himself, anyway. 

In the ten agonizing seconds it took for him to head footsteps from inside her apartment, he almost turned and bolted. Rowan was well aware that he was being a territorial fool. Evidently there was no reasoning with that very stupid and very irrational part of his brain, even as the clicking and sliding of locks had him wondering how quickly he could make it down a flight of stairs without being caught. 

“Oh,” came her surprised voice, wide eyes and raised brows to match. It was his very favorite version of Aelin that opened the door. All of her golden hair was in a messy knot on the top of her head, a few pieces framing her face. Much to his satisfaction, he realized she was wearing the shirt he’d told her she could keep a few days prior. A pair of little black shorts peeked out from the hem, and the long expanse of her bare legs had him almost forgetting why he was there in the first place. “What are you doing here?”

Her voice brought his eyes back to her face. There was no evidence of the makeup she’d had on the night before and though he could tell by looking at her that she was exhausted, he could also see that she had at least a few hours of good sleep. The skin around her eyes was a little puffy and a few lines were tattooed on her cheeks from her pillow or the blanket. 

“Did I wake you up?”

“No, no. I’ve been awake for like half an hour. Just haven't gotten to dragging myself out of bed yet since I’m not going to the office today.” Right. It was Monday. In his hazy stupor, Rowan had entirely forgotten that she should have been going to work.

“Are you too sick today?” Rowan was immediately on edge, searching her face and body for any sign of what would keep her from working. There was no point– she was downright glowing today. A healthy blush heated her cheeks and he could almost make out the small smattering of freckles across her nose from where he stood across the threshold. 

“No,” she said simply. “I feel really good today, actually. You didn’t answer me. What are you doing here, Rowan?”

“You forgot your toothbrush at my house,” he said lamely, patting at his pockets. Fuck. “It was purple? I left it in my car.”

“I did leave it at your house because that’s the one you bought for me to keep there.” There was laughter in her words as she spoke, like she was bringing up an inside joke they’d made. Mirth danced in her brilliant turquoise eyes despite her face contorting with confusion as she asked again, her tone softer this time, “What are you doing here, Rowan?”

What a loaded fucking question. He sure as hell didn’t know. How many times on the way here had he asked himself the same thing? 

He didn’t have to answer it directly, though, because he realized her shower was running down the hall. Before he could stop himself he blurted, “Is that Fenrys?” 

“Fen– what?” There was so much disbelief in her voice, but she started laughing. “You drove all the way up here to see if Fenrys spent the night with me?” 

Rowan wasn’t sure if the laughter was a good thing or a bad thing. It was impossible to tell if she was laughing at him for being so stupid he thought he had any right to know about her private life when he wasn’t around, or if she was laughing because the idea was so stupid and he had nothing to be worried about. He was inclined to think it was the former, because even though Fenrys liked to rile him up, he didn’t know if he would push Rowan quite so hard.

“Hey, bub? You hungry?” A voice, one that was distinctly not Fenrys’s shouted from the bathroom. In that one, tiny pet name, Rowan’s entire heart sank through the floor. If he looked down, he was sure he would be standing in a puddle of his own blood. The world had gone very quiet, his fingers suddenly freezing as he stuffed them into his pockets.

“Yes,” she called back, her eyes not leaving Rowan’s face.

Aelin was seeing someone else. It wasn’t a thought that had ever occurred to him until those texts from Fenrys, but now it was glaringly obvious. She had already said once that their relationship wasn’t supposed to turn into anything serious. Had she been seeing other men the whole time? It wasn’t like they’d ever talked about being exclusive in any shape or form. They had plenty of time away from each other. He never would have known. It couldn’t even be considered cheating. 

“Rowan,” she said, bottom lip tucked between her teeth to swallow her smile.

“I’ll… I’m sorry. I’ll let you get back to the guy in the shower,” he half-mumbled, crossing his arms to hide his shaking hands. 

And then she was well and truly laughing. It was a bright, melodious sound that under any other circumstance, he would have loved to pull out of her, to bottle up and get drunk on it whenever he pleased.. But right here, right now? Rowan was fucking gutted, and she was giggling like he’d said the funniest thing in the world. 

Rowan had just turned to start walking away when she collected herself enough to say, “You mean my cousin?” 

Time stopped. His blood was pumping in reverse to turn back the clock, to take everything he’d just said and wipe it from existence. Even his movements felt slower as he looked at her, fire licking up his neck and covering his face. The tips of his ears would be nearly purple and if he walked out into the humid air, his body would be steaming. She could probably feel the heat of his body from where she stood in the doorway. 

Rowan had never been so fucking embarrassed in his entire life. 

“Yeah, I– I am so sorry. I’ll talk to you later,” he grumbled, turning on his heel to make his swift exit and go die in peace. Recovery wasn’t an option. There was absolutely no coming back from this. 

~*~

The plan with Fenrys had either gloriously backfired, or he put much more into the prank than expected. She made a mental note to text him about that later, but there wasn’t time for that now. 

Aelin stepped through the door and caught Rowan’s hand before he was too far away. He felt feverish, like his immune system was trying to burn out the embarrassment before it could settle too much. It took a lot of tugging but he stopped trying to escape her presence. His footsteps were heavy on the old wood floors as she dragged him back toward her apartment.

“I really just want to go,” he told her, tattooed fingers sliding through his hair. It was down for once, not braided or tied out of his face. 

“Look at me.” But he wouldn’t. Green eyes stayed glued to a spot well above her head, looking at anything but her. Yes, it had been funny that he thought that Aedion was a random hookup. But the devastation on his face had done nothing but wreck her in return. The laughter was partially an involuntary response to an awkward situation, but also because it was cute that he was so worried about it. Rowan had absolutely nothing to be worried about. 

“Aelin–” The more she reached for him, the more he leaned away. He took one step back and she took one forward, refusing to let him leave while so upset. Aelin reached up, her cool hands resting on his warm cheeks as she gently guided his face to look at her. Before he could protest or slip further from her grasp, she rocked up onto her tiptoes and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to his lips. All ten of his fingers were shaking when they came to rest on her hips and it broke her heart. 

“Take a breath,” she whispered, sliding her hands down his neck and over his chest. Rowan’s eyes were still closed as he rested his warm forehead against her own, but he obeyed. “Fenrys was just fucking with you. Clearly he took it way too far and I am so sorry. We will most definitely be having words about that.” 

Before he could respond, from the depths of her apartment Aedion once again shouted for her and Rowan’s hands flexed on her hips. Aelin sighed and grabbed his hands, walking backwards with him until they were inside. Her fingertips were able to reach around him to push the door shut, sealing him inside with her. 

“Aedion, can you shut the fuck up and come out here and talk to me like a normal person? You’re freaking out my boyfriend and he’s been through enough for today.” Aedion’s hurried footsteps down the hall and the click of his door shutting was the only response she was given, likely to hurry and dress for their sudden company. 

Rowan looked inclined to agree with her sentiments, but didn’t say anything as she walked to the kitchen to get him some water. There was something off about him, and not just because of the trauma Fenrys had inflicted on him, nor the embarrassment that still stained his cheeks. He seemed almost… dim. All of the energy he’d had mere moments ago was vanishing before her eyes. His posture was a deflated balloon hovering inches from the ground a week after the party. 

“Are you hungry?” She asked, taking his hand and guiding him to the couch. Rowan shrugged as she nudged for him to sit in the corner while she curled onto the middle cushion beside him, her legs leaning against his thigh. If anything, she hoped it would ground him from the hell he’d been dragged through in the last few hours. “When was the last time you slept?”

Rowan exhaled, his cheeks puffing out with the gust of air. Dark circles haunted the skin beneath his eyes, which were bloodshot, making the green of them all the more piercing. Aelin frowned at his lack of response, tugging on his sleeve until he looked at her. 

“The fact that it’s taking you so long to figure it out tells me enough.” As though they couldn’t help themselves, despite her telling him she needed space, her traitorous fingers reached out and brushed his hair out of his eyes. 

“It’s been a few days,” He admitted, attempting to rub the tiredness away with his thumb and forefinger. “And my head is fucking killing me.”

“Let’s eat some breakfast and then we can nap, yeah? I’d tuck you in right now but I’m starving and I think you probably need to eat a bit, too.” 

A crease appeared between his eyebrows, lips pursing into a line as he looked over at her and said, “Is that… okay? You said you wanted space. I’m not exactly giving it to you by showing up like this.” 

“Considering I’ve barely been awake for an hour and could already use a nap, I’m going to go with yes. Besides, I do want you to meet Aedion while he’s here.” Thank the gods, his lips quirked into a small smile. Relief fluttered through her chest. She had never been so happy to see somebody smile at her before. 

Just as he opened his mouth to respond, however, Aedion’s door opened and he appeared in the archway to the hall. Aelin looked over at her cousin with a look that threatened violence if he tried the man beside her even a little too hard. Much to her surprise, Aedion gave a short nod before walking closer to the couch.

“Aedion, meet Rowan. Rowan, this is Aedion.” Aelin was a little surprised that Rowan mustered the muscle power to stand and shake hands. “Rowan is very tired so save the groveling for later, please.”

“I think you should be telling him to save my ass-kicking for later,” Rowan amended, sitting back on the couch. Aelin grinned as he looked over at her. “I can assume you told him what I’ve done.” 

“And that you’re very sorry,” she added sweetly, but her glance at Aedion was sharp as a dagger. Though his mouth had opened, likely to throw his own little quip into the sparring ring, it shut immediately.

“We’ll talk about it another time,” Aedion said simply, dropping onto the sofa beside Aelin with enough force that she bounced. She scowled at him, her hand immediately going to cover her stomach. “What are we eating?” 

Half an hour later they had brunch delivered to the apartment, the three of them sitting knee to knee on the couch. The sofa in question had been chosen for the luxurious aesthetic it provided, but she made a mental note to look at sectionals. There was no way she could have any other visitors with only this and the overstuffed chair in the corner for seating. 

Though he said a few things here and there, most of the conversation was Aelin and Aedion’s casual banter. While they did talk a little bit about the game he was carded in and what he expected for the rest of the season, as the conversation went on Rowan seemed to keep drawing further and further into himself. His broad shoulders were caved in and that wrinkle between his eyebrows got deeper and deeper. It looked like it was taking an astronomical amount of effort to keep his eyes open.

When they finished, Aelin and Rowan settled back against the couch while Aedion cleaned everything up. She had intended to just check a few emails before getting Rowan to bed, but he dozed comically fast. The email was half-read when she locked her phone and contemplated the best way to wake him gently. 

“This is the man that got the first red-card of his career for being so fucking pissed on Friday?” Aedion asked incredulously. 

“So it would seem.”

“You’ve never seen him play–” But Aelin cut him off with a shake of her head.

“I have. I watched the game until he got kicked out and then drove to Doranelle.”

“Before that,” his hand cut through the air, dismissing her. Aelin gave him a flat look before looking back at the man snoozing beside her. “He’s a demon, Aelin. When he’s on the field every move is calculated and with purpose. His face is always harsh and his body is always locked and loaded for the next play. Yet here he is, falling asleep on your couch with his mouth open. He might start drooling.” Aedion put his hands on his knees and leaned forward to get a closer look. 

Aelin grinned, eyes cutting back to Aedion. She couldn’t help it. “Be nice, he’s getting old.”

She knew it was true. Ever since uncovering the truth about his job, she had spent an embarrassing amount of time watching highlight videos of his career online. Every photo she saw that was snapped mid-match, his face was all hard lines and angles like he was in the middle of a battlefield fighting for his life. On the soccer pitch, he looked like a warrior that had been honed for battle. Here, on her couch asleep,  he just looked like Rowan. The real Rowan, and she was pretty sure not many people saw this side of him. 

“He looks younger like this,” he observed, eyes squinting as if he could see the soccer persona in his face if he tried hard enough. It was nowhere to be seen, though.

“Probably because he isn’t awake to frown at me.”

“Yeah, no way this is the same guy that fought his way to a red-card before halftime,” Aedion concluded. Aelin snorted, her hand flying to her mouth to muffle the sound. Rowan didn’t so much as twitch. 

“I’m pretty sure he almost cried when he heard you yell at me from the bathroom. He thought…” Involuntary giggles bubbled through her chest and out of her mouth, “He thought you were a hookup from last night.”

“That’s gross.” Aedion’s lips were downturned as he straightened, arms folding across his chest. “He almost cried?”

“That’s where it gets not-so- funny. Whatever Fenrys said to him really fucked him up.” She sighed then, reaching to trace his cheekbone with her fingertip. Rowan did stir then, eyes blinking rapidly as he took in a brute of a man staring down at him curiously and the feeling of Aelin’s skin on his. “Come on. Let’s go take a nap.”

In the most adorable protest of the century, Rowan started grumbling incoherently in the old language. Aelin smiled, only catching a few words here and there that equated to him insisting he wasn’t tired and they could nap later. His eyes betrayed him. They were heavy, blinking slowly and trying to roll back in his head. 

“This is one argument you sure as hell aren’t going to win.” Aelin pulled him to his feet and guided him to her room. When she plopped him onto the edge of the bed his protesting started up again. 

“What’s in it for me?” Sleepy, bleary eyes looked up at her as he refused to lay down. Aelin was standing between his legs with her hands on his shoulders, an eyebrow cocked to silently tell him he was being ridiculous.

“Besides sleeping for the first time in a couple days?” Rowan nodded, his fingertips grazing up her thighs and settling on her hips. She laughed, pushing his hair behind his ears. They would definitely be talking about his sleepless nights later.  “What do you want?”

“A kiss, please.” His response was so immediate it made her heart play hopscotch in her chest. Sleepy Rowan might just be her favorite thing in the entire world. Not even cotton candy could make her feel so light and sweet. 

“Okay, deal,” Aelin leaned down and pressed her lips to his forehead. Rowan swore in the old language but laid flat on his back and let her pull the blankets over his body. 

“Should have been more specific,” he mumbled, pulling on her hand until she crawled over him to the other side of the bed and nestled into the sheets beside him. She let him pull her close until they were pressed flush together. A weight she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying fell from her shoulders,  replaced by his arms around her body. Aelin didn’t pull away but snuggled into him as much as she could, her face against his chest as she deeply inhaled the scent that was so completely Rowan. The scent that was home. 

“You should have,” she agreed, but Rowan was already asleep.

@elentiyawhitethornn @autumnbabylon @fancysludgeshoelamp  @wordsafterhours @live-the-fangirl-life @the-hospitality-of-knives @tangledraysofsunshine @readandlisten @westofmoon @rowanaelinn  @morganofthewildfire @writtenonreceipts @feynightlight @emster1622-blog @scarblx @thefaetrove @loveyatopluto @actuallybarb @peppermint-fae @the-devils-own @scottmcgivemeacall @livingmylifeforme  @wordsafterhours @foreverfallingforthestars @llyncooljones @emily-gsh @loosesimplicity @emilyrose111294  @charlizeed @aelinchocolatelover @cretaceous-therapod @sayosdreams @fireheart-violet @the-regal-warrior @backtobl4ck @shyvioletcat @bellasbookboyfriends @icantfindmychashma

[crystlizabeth]

More Than Anything..

Summery: just some Joel praise..

Short!

Paring; Joel Miller x Black!femreader

Warnings: hint of angst fluff

The incident from months ago almost a year it left a scar within you. Walking through that door watching as the club meet his head. How the blood rushed down his face as he laid there paralyzed, never did you notice how much strength you had in that moment. How it was only you and her in the room, you couldn’t forgive your self for letting her get away how they all ran when more then just you came through that door.

You knew something bad was gonna happen you could feel it so you had gone out after them with a few people, friends. You thought you where gonna lose him that day.

But here he was in the kitchen with you as you helped him through the recipe instruction his hands shaky, you may have not lost him but he lost parts of himself. Memories, the constant migraines, the steadiness of his hands, how it was harder to walk for longer periods of time, that he no longer had his right leg that he had a prosthetic holding him up now, how it was hard to see out of his left eye, and the stuttering god that pissed him off. Those few hits to his head changed his everyday lifestyle he felt weak and unreliable. Then there you when to help him every step of the way of his recovery, with him every time he forgot something whenever he needed just a little help with a walk.

He watched you as you rolled the dough in your soft hands gently putting it on the pan in-font of you. His eyes scanned your face as you finish up as he took in every detail he never forgot.

“God you are so beautiful..” his voice soft.

His deep southern accent made you feel warm as smile came to your lips “Your not so bad yourself Cowboy.” You said turning your body towards him.

A chuckle came from him “Oh dont flatter me sweetheart..” you could hear the hint of sadness in his voice. He brought his hand up to your face feeling his trembling touch on your skin, you place your hand on his leaning into his touch.

“Come here..” you spoke pulling him toward you both of your hands placed on his face, he sat on the stool that stood next to him. Your eyes taking him in how there was a spot on his head where the hair hadn’t grown back, the scar under his eyebrow the gray that laid in his beard and hair.

“I hope that someday you can see just how beautiful you are..” you said softly keeping eye contact. Watching his brows frown his eyes adverting your gaze.

“I don’t understand how you can still look at me like that.. with so much admiration, love.” His voice not coming above a whisper.

You shifted your hands to make him look at you “Because you’re my husband. My man, the love of my life.. I got with you because you’re a great man, you help everyone every chance you get, how you keep going even when its hard you’re a strong man Joel not just that but your incredibly brave and an all out loving person. And even with that you make mistakes we all make mistakes and there are gonna to be situations that we can’t handle thats why we have each other..”

“But more than anything my wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to, that i can give you the life you want. And that, that doesn’t leave a weight on you forever. I hope you know somebody loves you and wants the same things to.” You finish bringing his face towards yours, your foreheads meeting.

“I wish i could just be all that you need again..” he frowned feeling all that bottled up emotion hit him.

“You are all I need, you’ve always been what I’ve needed.” You spoke kissing the tears off his face.

“I know its hard. Christ you lost a limb and got major head trauma, what can be harder than that and now having to adapt to it…” you took a deep breath before speaking again “Thats why I’m here it my turn to help you to give you the love you deserve, to help you as you heal..”

He nodded weakly as you brought him in for a kiss, a soft tender kiss. A kiss with so much love and passion. “I love you Miller..”

“I love you, and thank you..” he spoke his hand on the small of your back pulling you closer to him.

[makrokosmuss-blog]

To see me

Summary: A head wound can be fatal for a Mandalorian. To not reveal ones face contrasting strictly with a pain that needs to be treated. Yet Din finds himselfs a savior - and is himself shocked at how much his touch starved soul enjoys each and every caress of soft hands.

Warning: Head trauma, blind reader, a lot of pining and a bit anxiety from Mando's side A/N: Due to request here a little short story about a blind reader/ medic reader tending to Mando. 

“It is fine.” “It is not.” The Armorers voice was firm and it still made Din quiver like a boy when she spoke in that tone to him. It also made the throbbing pain on the back of his head worse. Injuries to the head were not usual for Mandalorians. For reasons that need not be explained. Especially because of that reason they were deadly as well. The motivation to never show one's face was deemed to be greater than the one to stop  a slow painful death due to a head wound. This was the Second time Din had ended up with one. The first time he’d thankfully been in the presence of a droid that helped him out. This time however, he hadn’t been as lucky. It was at the back of his head too, he was unable to treat it no matter how often he’d tried. With dizziness and a migraine that drove him mad he’d made it to the others, hoping he’d recover if he’d just rested. Again, he hadn’t been lucky. Days had passed and his state had nothing but  worsened. A fever joined the migraine and the vertigo and it hadn’t been long til the Armorer had caught on to it. “If it’s a head wound it needs treatment. Soon.”, she spoke, her voice still tense and like she was scolding a thick headed child. “And how am i going to get that?”, Mando asked, looking up at her. In his state, sick with fever and his vision blurred even through the sharpening visor he felt like laying straight back down. Grugo sat on his makeshift bed beside him. Cooing worryingly. The little guy had not left his side since it had happened and had that saddened look on his little green face that made Din’s heart melt. The foundling had tried often enough to get under his helmet, use his healing on him but yet again and again Din had carefully sat him down, telling him it was not right. 

The Madnalorian before him crossed her arms, armor shining in its golden hue as it caught the light of the setting suns outside the window. It caused Din’s migraine to flare up worse than before. “I would know someone. I have to see if they are still around…”, she said. Her voice lower now, nearly a whisper. Mando frowned, shaking his head, slowly, not to make matters worse. “How would that work out?”, he asked, confused by her statement. Yet again, he wasn’t quite fit to think at all lately. “It does. I’ve sought them out many times before.”, the Armorer explained in a calming tone. “Is it a droid, then? I still don’t love them but i’d surely give it a go…”, he answered. Even he noticed just how weak he sounded. “No droid. But it is right for our kind. You can trust me on this, I will make contact. Rest now.” Din felt her hand on his shoulder. Warm. And reassuring. His head killed him. He closed his eyes. Trusting her. 



Grogu whined. A day had passed and Din found himself in his cockpit, readying the ship for flight. He looked over his shoulder, watching the little guy squeal. “What? I’m fine. I can fly you know.”, he said out loud. Watching Grorgu’s reaction. “I can. Don’t give me that look. I’m fine enough. I won’t kill us.”, he muttered, turned back to face the console again. Sometimes he felt crazy. For talking so much to his foundling, knowing he would get no answer. Maybe all the years of doing missions in solitude had made him mad after all. Nervous, definitely. Nervous to meet someone. Nervous about what would happen. About how this would go. He stared ahead. The ship was ready to go. Grugo cooed. “Fine Fine I’ll put the thing on auto-pilot. Let’s go.”, Din sighted, forcing him to just trust fate on this one. I. A Gaze He held Grogu closely, pressed against him. This was the place. He was sure of it. And yet he had not knocked nor rang for a minute now, simply staring the door down. The planet was nice. Clean. Green - bluish flora bloomed around the place. The street seemed awfully clean. No shady alleys, no run down taverns, no greasy walls. This wall before him was pure white. A house build of strangely white and smooth stone. Strange flying tiny creatures around him, surrounding the flowers in the garden before it that he still stood in. Grogu, once more, brought him back to reality. A soft coo this time. As if he was asking if everything was alright. It caused Mando to take a sharp inhale, his heart still beating fast. He did not know why he was nervous at all. Maybe because he was about to take off his helmet in there. Or maybe because this place seemed all too wrong for him. Too clean, too nice. He sat his Foundling down carefully. His head spun as he did. It reminded him all too well exactly why he found himself here in the first place. He stared ahead again. The display in his visor telling him once more that yes - this was the location he was ought to be. Somehow, even though it was the Armorer herself who’d sent him here, he felt his anxiety act up. He’d messed up already. He’d taken off the helmet before. He’d swore to himself he’d do anything to never have that happen again. And here he was, about to break that promise. Grogu squealed. He seemed happy enough. Raising his little hands to touch the blue leaves and then tried to get to the little creatures that sat on it. “Alright then. Let’s go.” Din took a deep breath, lifted his hand and knocked. Three times. Muscles tight. Expression stern. And then it all changed. Then She opened the door. II. A Whisper

It had taken her a while to get the door. To make her way towards the knocking sound, but as she did, she had surely noticed him standing before it. Mando stared her down. Straight up gazing at her soft features. The shine of her hair. The silken dress that hugged her figure loosely but oh so wonderfully. She was radiant. Dazzling. Mando felt his heart drop into his stomach, his heart picking up. She hadn’t spoken a single word until now. And he hadn’t either. Damn it he hadn’t even moved. This woman was supposed to take care of his head? How was that going to work out? Ignoring the fact that her looks bedazzled him, he still did not know how she was to solve this problem that he had. That he was here for. Mando watched her closely. Taking a deep breath. He was just about to say something when he noticed her soft smile changing into a confused little tilt of her head as she drew her brows together. “Hello?”, she asked, uncertainty tainting her voice. Hello?  Mando was the one frowning in confusion now. Why was she asking as if she didn’t see him standing right in front of her. Grogu squealed on the ground, raising his tiny arms towards the woman and grinning brightly - as if he’d solved the mystery before him. Mando, following the little one's gaze looked up again and then, suddenly it clicked for him as well. She did indeed not see him. It was the certain silver glimmer in her eyes that had given it away. Only visible when he was truly looking for it. She was blind. It rang through his head. And so many questions were answered. Quickly explaining himself, Mando stood up straight. He cleared his throat, then spoke: “I ah…the Mandalorian. The Headwound. The Amorer send me.” Not much of an explanation, he noticed quickly. Feeling a bit shy and nervous and still dizzy before her. The smile returned to the woman's features none the less and she quickly nodded, making a small and elegant side-step to make room for him to enter the door. “Of course! I’ve been waiting for you. Please, come in.”, she chimed, the smile on her lips genuine, Mando did notice now. In the way the focus of her eyes was just off. She moved so naturally though. So beautifully, swayfully elegant. The woman had already made him forget the pain in his head for just a minute there. III. A touch He had entered the small house. Had been told to sit down. Mando did, as usual, exactly as he was told. It gave him time to look around and calm his breathing. He was still nervous as hell, even though this turn of events had indeed calmed him a bit. She could look at him, straight up, no helmet involved, and would not see his face. It was quite the genius concept for a mandalorian medic, really. Yet again, he asked himself just how good of a medic she was if she could not see what the hell she was doing. It frightened him a little. As did the fact that he was still to remove his helmet right in front of the lovely woman. He had asked her where he could sit Grogu down for the time being. She had shown him to a room. A couch in it. A desk. Not much more. Yet the cushions were soft enough and with some loving words of encouragement and explanation the little foundling sat perfectly still on them. Mando bringing his favorite snack along and offering it as a bribe surely had helped as well. That dilemma was taken care of then. Only her remained. Her, the mysterious woman who still sorted things out just behind him. Her, that made him all so nervous in two very different ways. “Are the blinds closed?”, she asked, her voice as soft as he remembered it. He did not need to look at them to know they weren’t. “No. May I close them?”, he asked, a frown on his features. He’d love to get up and just…move to ease the tight muscles and calm his quickly beating heart. “Yes that would be lovely, thank you.”, she smiled softly, turning to him. He watched her again. Not returning the smile. She wouldn’t see it anyway. He asked himself if that was making it better or worse for his conscience. He needed to ask. At least to take the pressure off a little. Yet he felt it was not very nice to do so. He wavered, then turned over his shoulder as he closed the black curtains before the window, darkening the room. “I…I’m sorry to ask. truly I am but…”, he started, soon to be interrupted by her. He was surprised that it turned out to be a chuckle. A sweet and delightful yet soft chuckle. “I see nothing. No worries. You can take the helmet off without restraint, Mandalorian. This isn’t the first time I am doing this.”, she explained. Her tone was reassuring and well meant. It eased him a little. “Huh…Alright then.”, he agreed quietly, taking his seat once more. He looked around. The room was pretty barren, a bit minimalistic but apart from that nice and still cozy in a way. “Anything I can…do?”, he asked, tapping the chair nervously with his gloved fingers. She smiled at that, concentrated on her silver tray before her with all kinds of useful utensils on it. “You may undress.”, she spoke. It made Mando’s skin trickle. “All or…”, he asked, voice deep, trying his best not to stutter. “It’s just the head wound, yes?”, she asked, raising a brow. “Yes, all else iis taken care of.”, he answered dryly. “Just the helmet, the gloves and the shoulder pieces then. Please.” Just. Mando disliked even that quite a lot. Yet got to work quickly. All felt relatively normal but the helmet. He wavered at the helmet. Not quite daring to take it off just yet. She moved over to him then. And then he felt her. Soft hands, caressing over his shoulder, towards his chest.

The man felt blood rushing to his head and his skin tingled. He had been so touch starved for so long that even this felt like the most intimate thing he’s felt in months and just like that, he tensed up underneath her gentle hands. She stood behind him. Her hands on his shoulder, caressing and massaging along the neck. “Helmet is still on, I feel.”, she teased. The woman did not judge nor pressure him. She sounded understanding, if anything. “I..yeah…Sorry it’s…”, he started, stumbling over his words. impossible. horrid. most intimate. near hurtful. “I understand. Completely. We’ll take it slow, no need to remove it just now.”, she spoke. Her tone was so calm and reassuring. So very guiding and careful with him. Mando found himself enjoying that a bit too much for his own liking and just like that he leaned back a little, enjoying the massage of his strained neck. A touch most magical.

“Tell me what exactly the problem is.”, she offered, trying to ease him into teh experience. Mando sighted. Closing his eyes. “Mission gone wrong. I landed head first on stone. Hard. Usually the helmet buffers each fall but I must've landed in a bad way. Hit my head. Just above the right eye.”, he explained. He was still tense. Still nervous. His heart was pacing quickly and his breathing was irregular. She only hummed softly. Urging him to go on. Her hands never stopped caressing him. She felt wonderful.

“I…had a bad headache after that. Noticed blood trickling out from underneath my helmet. Checked myself in the mirror. Was too dazed to do something about it myself. It only got worse after I checked back in with the others.”, he continued. He was easing slightly. Losing himself in her touch and his tale. “I understand.”, she nearly whispered, “What exactly worsened?” This time he answered straight away. Way less restrained. “The pain. Dull and throbbing behind my forehead. Dizziness. Nausea.”, he sighted.

“I am very sorry to hear that. I’ll see what I can do, It might be serious however.”, she warned him, genuine worry and feel in her voice. Mando nodded. “I…trust you. I suppose.”

“You can. Many of your brothers and sisters have come here. There wasn’t one yet whom I could not aid.”, the woman spoke reassuringly, squeezing his shoulders lightly as a little heads up. Mando found himself smiling at that. “Now. Helmet. Want to take it off yourself or do you want me to do it?”

He froze again at that. Damn he’d grown quite comfortable just now. Could’ve stayed like that…but there was the matter at hand. “I…” Mando had never ever thought that he would ever let someone else touch his helmet. Yet again. Many Mandalorians had come here. He was safe with her. It was alright. It was fine. Trauma trickled underneath his skin. To be seen. To remove the helmet himself and… “Would you do it?” He wouldn’t want to repeat that trauma.

She was soft. And respectful. Her slender hands found the right button to release the tight grip of the helmet all too soon and with the uttermost care she grasped underneath the metal, lifting it off his head.

Mando still hated and loathed every second of it, yet again, the extreme pain that flooded through his body like a toxin as soon as the pressure of the helmet was released showed him just how much this action was necessary,

“Are you okay?”

She had asked carefully, still holding his helmet in her hands. “I…Yeah.”, the Mandalorian before her answered. Sweetly, she reached over him, placing the helmet back into his hands, so he could hold tightly onto it during the procedure. She still stood behind him. Still, even in theory could not glance at his features. Din Djarin felt utterly naked nonetheless.

“You have a lovely voice. By the way.”, she then said. Mando frowned, turning his head over his shoulder to look at her without a second thought. “What?”, he asked, not noticing he had just turned his features to her right then. She seemed to look right through him. So sweet, so beautiful she stood before him, a lovely smile on her perfect lips. “Without the modulator. You sound handsome.”, she repeated herself. A blush creeped up her cheeks and Mando felt his heartbeat picking up pace once more.

“I…thank you.” “You are very welcome.” “You”, , he stopped himself there. not daring to tell her just how wonderful she looked, “It’s…nothing. Sorry.” “All good then. Let’s get you sorted out.”, she spoke with that smile of hers, closing in again.

Her soft hands running over his bare skin. He reveled in every last one of her touches. Painful or not. “You’ll be out of here in no time, Mandalorian.”, she promised. He could hear the smile in her soft voice. Hoping she would be wrong.

@animefan3223 @shinymoonstarfish​ @imokayunlessyoumentionendgame @that-girl-named-alexamed-alex @frau-moon​ @leeeggggsssssss @beardie-mama @why-always-me-gosh-please @lizziel1410 @momolulukai @hymnofthevalkyrie @sunshinerainbowmurderkitten @sunipostsstuff @louist91syndromedrome @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @danceswithsporks​ @minetticatinwonderland @sunipostsstuff​ @sparrowwithaquill​ @monkeyking-and-liuer-mate​ @sinon36​ @a-rose-of-amber​​ @ and for : @lolitalatteart​

[multistanisms]

Twilight Hours | Ateez

Ateez

Hongjoong x Reader

Word Count: 3,339

One Shot

When you find yourself on overload, you want to shut the world out. But there's no way you could ever shut out Hongjoong.

There are days when you need to shut the world out, be left alone and just exist. Work has been extra hard, in part from picking up extra shifts to try and have money for vacation, but the day has been very rough. Nonstop customers, loud noises and conversations, and all of it had eaten into you like a parasite, a headache forming and nearing an overload on your body’s senses. Your drive home is silent to try and combat it, knuckles white on the wheel of the car. All you want is to get home, change and block every other thing out. You make the drive with anxiety high, park your car in its designated covered spot, and head up the stairs to your apartment, thumb rubbing at your temple in hopes to ease the worsening pain in your skull. Stopping at the railing where the stairs end and your large porch area begins, you let yourself lean against the metal to rub at your temples with a grumbled sigh. A soft meow catches your attention, and looking up, you see your cat Lunabelle sitting on the windowsill watching you.

“Luna, get out of the window, it’s open.” you scold her, but your own words give you pause. You were certain the windows were closed when you left for work “Why is the window open?” Turning towards your door, you lift your keys to unlock it as it opens on its own, revealing a mess of blue hair and dark eyes. You’re caught off guard in your already pained state, so it doesn’t immediately register that your boyfriend is standing in front of you. “Wait…Hongjoong?” “Y/N? Baby, what’s wrong? Why are you just standing outside?” Hongjoong asks, only for a horn to start blaring across the parking lot the moment after he speaks. The noise is so sudden that it makes you drop your bag and keys, hands covering your ears with a quiet whine as your eyes close. 

“Just a very bad day...” you manage with tears in your voice, hating that he’s home only for you to be having a terrible day. The sound of keys makes you open your eyes, only to see Hongjoong has lifted your dropped items and is slinging the strap of your bag onto his shoulder. When he moves to stand in front of you, you can’t help but watch him as he lifts his hands to gently take hold of your wrists and ease your arms down. 

“Migraine?” he asks. 

“Not yet.”

“Is it getting to that point?” He lets your wrists go to reach forward and cup your face with his hands, looking your face over with concern in his eyes. You nod a few times in response as he does so, letting him start urging you towards the door.

“Are you in overload?”

“Not really, it’s mostly just the noise right now.” You answer, moving forward to press into him, tucking your face into his neck. 

“Come on, darling. I’ve got you.” Hongjoong assures, leading you inside and closing the front door. “Sit on the couch for me?” He asks, and you do so as he goes around, closing the windows he’d apparently opened when he’d arrived, shooing Lunabelle out of the window and rolling his eyes as the cat meows in dissent and goes to her cat tree to perch in one of the beds. The room slowly dims as Hongjoong closes the curtains and then returns to where you sit. 

“When did you get here, Joong?” 

“I’ve only been home for like an hour or two.” Hongjoong replies, moving to kneel in front of you with his current task complete. “How’s your head?”

“A six?”

“Okay, go get some pajamas, I’ll get a shower going.”

“Joong, you don’t-” You’re cut off by Hongjoong sealing his lips over yours and can’t help but lean into the contact, unable to keep the smile from curving your lips as he pulls away.

“I know I don’t have to do it, Y/N. I want to. Let me take care of you, okay?” he asks, hands cupping your face as he stares into your eyes. “Go get some pajamas, meet me in the bathroom.”

You don’t have it in you to argue with him when your head is trying to put you out of commission, so instead you lean forward to take another kiss from him. “Shower with me?”

“That was the intention, precious.” he answers, standing and holding out a hand to you. “Come on.” He helps you stand, and you walk together down the hall. He dips into the bathroom but leaves the door open while you walk into the bedroom to gather some clothes. You watch him from the hall as he starts the water, smiling before going to your room to gather your clothes. Opting for a thinner fabric nightgown and underwear, you find your way back to the bathroom, leaning on the doorframe for a moment as you set your fresh clothes on the counter. Hongjoong has the lights at a dimmer setting, four candles lit and placed along the back of the counter. The room has a delightful mix of storm rain, eucalyptus and mint mingling with the faint steam of the shower. It takes a few moments for your eyes to fully adjust, your body relaxing as you close the door behind you. Hongjoong is humming to himself as he tests the water, shirt already forgotten and jeans hanging low on his waist. You take the time to admire him, never getting tired of the way he looks. You’re stepping from your clothes and setting them in a small pile when he turns, his lips curving as he holds out a hand. “Come on, it’s just how you like it.”

You can’t help the blush on your cheeks as he takes you in, a part of you always shy under his gaze. Your hand slips into his and he helps you step into the shower, stepping under the spray before shaking your head a little when something isn’t the same. “What on earth?” Wiping water from your face, you look up to find a new shower attached. “Joong? What is-”

“I know sometimes the pressure is too hard for when you have migraines.” Hongjoong replied, stepping in behind you and reaching to show you where the little knob is to change the flow. “So I got you a new shower head with more settings, that way you’re not in more pain trying to shower.” 

The overwhelming emotion in your chest makes you turn, hands locking behind his neck so you can pull him in for a kiss. When you pull back to look at him, your fingers run through his dampening hair. "Have I told you I love you today?"

Hongjoong's laugh is music to your ears, and he leans to steal another kiss. "You don't need to tell me, baby. But it doesn't mean I mind hearing it." You tuck your face into his neck for a moment, letting the hot water relax you further into his embrace. "Come on, let me clean you up."

"Only if I can cuddle you after." You counter with a smile, lifting your head to kiss his cheek.

"I think that can be arranged." Hongjoong replies, tapping your nose with his finger as he turns to get your loofah and put his body wash on it. 

"Hongjoong?"

"Yes?"

"What did I do to deserve you in my life?" It isn't an uncommon question, but you haven't asked it in some time. His answer is marked with the same beginning, however; that gentle smile and his lips against your forehead. 

"You were yourself with me. With the team. Unapologetically, beautifully yourself." The loofah in his hand is now lathered up and he starts by washing at your front, focused on bathing you. You let your eyes close as he takes care of you. His hands rinse out the loofah before guiding you back under the water so he can rinse the suda away from your skin. He pauses for a moment, but before you can ask him what's wrong, the water heats up more and you chuckle.

"You always take care of me, baby."

"I'm supposed to, I am your boyfriend after all." Hongjoong counters as he adjusts the water again and moves to turn you around, his hands beginning to gently massage along the base of your head. He takes his time as his works his way down and to one shoulder. You can feel the way he edges the pain in your muscles away, and a sigh passes your lips as he works the knots out with gentle concentration. You focus on the feeling of his hands and the gentle sound of the water falling around you, the pain that had been building in your skull starts to dissipate.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." Hongjoong answers, dipping to press a kiss to your shoulder. "Are you feeling better?" You don't need to see the loving smile on his face, but you hum an assent with a nod. He continues the massage down lower, stopping when pressure near your lower back has a soft yelp escaping you. "What's wrong with your back?" 

"I don't know, honestly. It's been really stiff for a few days and I can't figure out how to work the muscles loose." You admit, biting your lower lip because you don't like Hongjoong worrying about you. When he applies pressure again, your body arches away a little. 

"You probably need a break. How many days off have you had?" Your silence makes him pause and rest his chin on your shoulder. "Y/N?" 

"I…I don't remember when my last full off day was." You make yourself admit, eyes closing in defeat.

"Are you scheduled tomorrow?"

"No, as long as I don't get called in."

"No, you will not go in tomorrow."

"But Hongjoong-"

"You need to rest. I am going to make sure you do just that." It's the authority in his voice that makes you turn to look at him, blinking a little. 

"But you have practice, Joong."

"The guys will understand if I miss a practice to take care of you." Hongjoong answers, cupping your face again. "And I will always take care of you." After weeks apart for the group's promotional teasers and the photoshoots, you just need to share the same space with him, so you opt to lean against him for a long moment. "I love you, Y/N."

"I love you, too, Kim Hongjoong."

He moves to squeeze shampoo into his hand, fingers massaging the liquid into your hair to wash it. Letting him wash your hair lets your mind go blank for a bit. Things are always easy with him, the two of you always taking care of each other. The two of you don't need continuous sexual intimacy, just sitting together can be enough. You focus on the feeling of his hands in your hair, eyes closing as he works the shampoo in before reaching to detach the shower head so he can rinse your hair better. “Is it your conditioning day?”

“No, that’s tomorrow.” you reply, pausing a moment when the shower is turned off. “What about you?”

“I took a shower when I got home.” Hongjoong replies, leaning to press his lips to yours as he slides the shower door open. 

“You literally got undressed just to bathe me?” You ask, giving your boyfriend a look. 

“It’s the little things, baby.” Hongjoong counters, handing you a towel as you step from the shower. He wraps another around his waist, watching you dry off before handing you a smaller towel for your hair. 

“Thank you,” You smile as you wrap the fabric around your hair, moving purposefully so as not to aggravate your back any more than necessary. When you manage to get your pajamas on, you reach out to pull Hongjoong towards you so you can kiss him properly. He returns the gesture before tapping the tip of his finger on your nose. 

“Go get comfortable, okay? I’ll be there in a minute.” he insists, cupping one of your cheeks in his hand. You lean into the touch before nodding and stepping out to go to your room, moving to lay on your side, trying not to move in a way that hurts your already sore lower back. You’re able to listen as Hongjoong goes about the apartment, talking to Lunabelle even as the cat undoubtedly tried to make him fill her still half-full bowl. You hear the familiar sound of cups clinking, realizing he’s making tea. Not wanting him to be alone, though also just needing the comfort of his presence, you get up and walk out and join him. Lunabelle meows when she spots you, hopping up onto the breakfast bar that divides the kitchen from the living room. You reach up to pet her as you perch on one of the chairs. The sound is enough to draw Hongjoong’s attention from his current task, and while he gives you a look, he doesn’t scold you playfully as he would his members. Rather, he walks over to kiss your nose on his way to the living room, where he pulls a blanket from the large wicker basket by the chaise. He unfolds it as he walks back to you, draping the plush around your shoulders. “Three sugars, right?”

“Always. You know me so well.” You adjust the blanket to better enshroud your body, watching him as he moves about the kitchen with ease.

“I would hope so, after over a year.” Hongjoong answers, setting both of your cups up. He’s humming quietly to himself, and you’re sure that at some point, you’ll hear the track it’s connected to. 

“How long are you here?”

“We wrapped up filming yesterday.” Hongjoong isn’t facing you, mixing the teas. “Got off the flight this morning and headed to the dorms. I only stayed long enough to drop my stuff off and gather a bag before I asked Yunho to bring me home.” His words are casual, but you can hear the smile in his tone. 

“Y’know, technically the dorms are home.” you tease with a smile of your own. 

“The dorm doesn’t have you.'' The counter reply doesn’t miss a beat, spoon set on a napkin as Hongjoong turns to bring your cups over, setting your favorite mug on the counter in front of you. “And I love the guys, but I love you more, Y/N.”

The words catch you off guard for a moment, but not because he’s never said them. Hongjoong tends to show his love in his actions. Flowers delivered to the restaurant where you work, little notes left on cards tucked through the mailslot, text messages of endearment each day when the two of you are apart for more than a few days. Hearing it isn’t necessary, but when you do hear it, it makes you feel like the most special person in the room. 

“I love you, too.” You reply, lifting your cup to lightly sip at the hot liquid. “Everyone is going to be coming over at some point, right?”

“Hwa wants to do a live when he wakes up, but it’ll probably be tomorrow. Wooyoung was whining about missing you and Luna.”

“Of course he was, the chaos bubble.” You laugh a little to yourself, but you can’t say you don't miss the antics Wooyoung is capable of, especially when San is around. A single ice cube finds its way into the tea from a pair of small tongs held by your boyfriend, and you chuckle. “You spoil me, Joong.”

“As only you should be.” Hongjoong replied. “You deserve to be taken care of, even if you think you need to do it alone.” His fingers find your hair and pet through the damp strands, watching you as if you hung the moon. “And whether you like it or not, I will continue to spoil you until the day you believe me, and even after.” The two of you laugh a little, you nuzzle into his neck affectionately before you move to get up. “Couch?” he asks, helping you nudge the blanket off and carrying it as the two of you go to the couch. When he sits, you join him, curling into his warmth and letting your head rest on his shoulder. The blanket is brought up to cover you with one hand, his opposite arm wrapping around you. Once the two of you are settled into each other, he picks up the remote from the side table to go through and turn on the show the two of you had been watching. It’s a comforting time, neither of you being pressured to do anything more than just exist with the other. The stress of the day is basically forgotten, tucked into the safety of Hongjoong’s arms and the quiet noise of Luna purring from her perch on the back of the couch. After a few episodes, both of your phones go off, and you let Hongjoong sit up to grab his phone. 

“Is it Hwa?” you ask, adjusting so you can watch Hongjoong’s phone with him. He nods as you both settle again, watching a still sleep dazed Seonghwa as he sips at a soda and begins talking. Dark hair is combed, but you’ve been around the member often enough that you can recognize the delay in the eldest member’s reaction as the comment section floods. At one point, San appears carrying food, and you can’t help the quiet laugh that escapes you because you know the younger men so well. 

“They must have ordered food and then woke him up when it got there.” Hongjoong voices your thoughts with a laugh of his own, shaking his head a little. 

You watch the antics as San settles in by the older man, the two chatting with each other and fans as they eat. San talks faster when he gets excited, so it’s a struggle for you to translate at times, but you manage to keep up. Despite wanting to watch the stream, you find yourself dozing against Hongjoong, slowly losing the ability to stay on track with what the guys are saying. A kiss to your head brings you more focused and your head tilts back so you can look at Hongjoong sleepily. “Hm?”

“Let’s go to bed. You need the rest for your head, and I haven’t slept since we landed this morning.” Hongjoong muses, nudging you up so he can take the blanket and pile it on top of the ones already in the basket. You don’t fight him as he helps you stand, lacing his fingers through yours and walking with you to the bedroom. Rather than turn on the overhead light, he reaches to press the button just above the switch, fairy lights spark to life in a dimmed setting around the top corners of the room. It’s just enough light to see by, and you make your way to the bed, pulling back the blankets to lay down. Hongjoong walks around the bed to pull the other side back, but he walks back around towards the door. “Hongjoong?” you ask, catching his attention. 

“I’m just gonna turn the lights off, I’ll be right back.” he assured, leaning over to kiss you. “Just get comfortable, okay?” You let him go, curling into the chilled sheets. You recognize the sound of the lights being turned off, and sure enough, he returns to the room. It takes just a few moments for him to turn the string of lights off and join you, tugging at your hand gently until your head is on his chest. The sound of his heart beating makes you smile and one arm drapes over his waist. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Now get some rest, baby. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

[absoluteindulgence]

A/N: HEEEEY YOU GUYSSSSSS, I POPPED THESE HEADCANONS OUT OF NOWHWEREEEE. I KNOW ITS BEEN A WHILE, DONT COME FOR ME JUST READ AND TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU LIKE IT LOL🤎✨️✨️✨️ I will say tho I wrote this from my phone because like the goofy I am, I spilled water on my laptop and gotta get it replaced🤭 So any edits I need to make will be in the near future🤎 Also Ironically I'm posting this 4:44PM☺️

Toji with Yoga!Girlfriend

SFW

He's learned what it means to be calm. You would meditate around him and at first he would always want to break your focus but afterward he'd sit with you and just breathe. He found it extremely calming when a rush of anger would wash over him.

He's in awe at the many Yoga Poses you can do and how focused you are when executing them. He's worked hard to bulk up his body but he can't say that he's as balanced as you. Which is why he has so much respect for you too.

Let's be real, you're over here talking about the healing power of crystals and he does not believe in none of that shit. It takes for him to have an out-of-the-blue migraine to do your "mumbo jumbo shit" on him and he might only admit that for a second, it worked. But he believes just laying in your lap is what did the trick.

You smell so fucking nice. You're the type to use essential oils more than perfume and it shows. Any scent that you're using that day is stuck to you and becomes your natural scent. One that's so pleasant it keeps Toji in your space more than usual.

You're highly intentional with your actions and he can sense it. You have this layer of love, honesty, and devotion that keeps him on his toes. It's hard to make him breathless but you're such a wonderful woman that he looks to you for comfort in more than just the sexual sense. You've proven to be a great pillar in his life and he's smitten by you based on how you're so open to loving him and in return, he provides the love and protection you desire. In his way, he'll cheerily thank a star for aligning you "or some shit" together. You give him a level of stability he's never seen or had in a very long time.

NSFW

Now this man has spun the block a couple of times but damn would he feel like there are way too many new experiences with you.

This man did not know what Kegels were until you showed him on one particular rainy day. This was closer to the beginning of your relationship and you would say, "Hey Babe, let's try something new" You're ideas usually come out more good than bad so he doesn't deny you. The first time you tighten yourself around him, the face he makes is voided of all smugness, it's a culmination of shock and humor. "Fuck, Treasure... How are you doing that????" His brows furrow too tight as he comprehends real "Pussy Power". Let's just say thunderstorms weren't the only thing to erupt.

The massages you give this man always lead him to visit heaven. You touch him in ways that he thought were just simple and had no other meaning than its initial reaction. Every graze from your fingertips stimulates his mind further than what he's expected to feel. His stiffy gets all twitchy, and the usual tense and ready-to-defend muscles relax. He instantly exhales when touched by you. Your hands are so skilled, you gently graze over all the sensitive spots he has and treat them with delicate consideration heightening his experience. The way your fingers caress the tip of his manhood trailing down the shaft, with a gentle kneading of his swollen, ready-to-burst balls is enough to get the most intense guttural groans ever known out of him.

You create such sensual atmospheres for him that he's taken aback. Incense or aroma diffusers, slow jams playing at a low volume in the back, you bought these twinkling lights for a dreamy effect, and after a while they leave him charmed to say the least.

This goes without saying but he loves to watch you stretch. It's a reminder of the limits he can set on your body since you prep every day. He's eager to see which way you'll bend for him just to get to that right spot. Arch perfectly sloped, HAMMERTIME. Sucking him off while doing a bridge, how many kids you want? Or something as simple as tucking your legs behind your head? You're in trouble for the rest of the night!

The worst of it all is you introducing him to Kamasutra... You told him you want to do every position. No matter how weird or uncomfortable it might be and man, you wore this man out one night in particular. It's the first time during sex that he's ever tapped out and you paid for it in the next sex session lol

[schnuckiputz]

look, hear me out: mr & mrs smith/john wick au

the harringtons have been managers of the continental since its establishment in the 1800s. they've kept their status thanks to strategicly placed alliances and a certain level of ruthlessness. evey heir to the dynasty works in the business to hone their craft and to get contacts.

as the current heir, steve has been working as a contract killer for years already. he is good at it, has a knack for infiltration, knows how to manipulate, and give people a false sense of security. but he also hates the job, is too kind, too soft-hearted. when a job with shitty intel gives him the chance to go out in a blaze of glory, he takes it and fakes his death. still, the job leaves him with near complete hearing loss in one ear and migraines.

he has used the last years to stash away money and equipment, so he spends the first months of his newfound freedom to track down stashes, establish a new identity, and just...be. on his travels, he stumbles across an old box club that's falling apart and thinks "yes, this."

steve tracks down the owner, agrees to a considerable payment, and gets to work. he focuses on building community, gives teenagers a healthy outlet, and teaches self-defense classes. that's how he meets robin, who got thrown out by her parents when she was outed. he gives her a room in the apartment above the club and lets her man the front desk. and that's also how he meets the party because lucas takes an interest in boxing and can not be separated from his friends. so while steve teaches lucas how to fight, the other kids hang around, doing homework and shittalking.

one day, steve agrees to take the kids to a book signing for the newest instalment in a fantasy book series they obsess over. there, he meets eccentric author eddie munson, and it's lust on first sight for both of them. lust becomes infatuation, becomes love. they move in together, get engaged.

eddie travels a lot for work: book signings, research, etc... and steve is fine with that, appreciates the time he gets to spend on his club and the little family he has built.

but then, one day, he comes home, and their place is trashed. furniture is overturned and broken, there is blood everywhere, in the kitchen he finds two dead operatives. operatives in uniforms he knows like the back of his hand: his parents have found him, have found eddie, and taken him.

in the bedroom is a third operative, alive enough for some little mild torture to find out where they took his boy.

when the kids started hanging around, he got rid of most of his gear. so he calls up two old contacts/friends: jonathan and argyle, who live on a massive range and keep his biggest stash in one of their barns. (unbeknownst to all of them, steve has been spending quite a few hours every week with jonathan's little brother will.) they both worked as killers for years until they decided to retire. now they mostly deal in information and ressources.

he gears up and goes on the hunt.

what he doesn't know: eddie is not, in fact, a writer or, at least, not entirely. he's a thief, one of the best in the business. eddie has been doing this kind of work long enough to know about the assassin guild, to know the major players, but he never met the harrington's and has no idea that his sweet fiance is in fact heir to one of the most influential families. eddie's so-called research trips were for jobs, not for research. but unfortunately for eddie, one of his jobs took him too close to the harrington's, and they took out a contract on him. they tracked him down and took him back to new york to get him to cough up the location of the stolen goods. unfortunately, eddie already unloaded the goods to the buyers, a powerful chrime syndicate. and he knows: the moment the harringtons find out, he is dead.

eddie doesn't make it easy for them, talks circles around them for days, until harrington sr looses his patience and is about to cut his losses, when the lights go out and half the place goes up in flames. for the first time in years, harrington sr comes face to face with his son. the son that supposedly died.

steve makes a deal with the devil: the stolen goods for eddies live. he will get disowned but he will get to keep the life he built for himself.

it's a suicide mission, but steve is motivated. he succeeds, with help from jonathan and argyle who come in guns ablazing at the end and get him out.

after, they go back to their place. they clean up. rebuilt. and they relearn each other, this time with no secrets between them. and they are happy.

[auratusaria]

Prompt No. 7

Villain loves grand and exquisite things, known to be dramatic by everyone that it soon became their signature. And so, the criminal chose the opposite for their civilian identity.

A bland and boring office worker living in a cheap and average apartment building. Though it took them quite some time to get used to such a lifestyle, they've soon took a liking to it. A menace at night and a peaceful boring worker at day. Everything had been calm and relaxing until a new person moved in next door.

That person not only look like a gangster but acted like one too! Every single day, they come out of their room and all they'll ever do is whine and complain and pick a fight left and right! When they're inside their room, they'd blast ear piercing and migraine inducing songs that the thin walls would soon give out on with all the trembling caused by it!

Needless to say, Villain has had enough of it. They went to approach them about it but one thing led to another and the criminal's gentle complaint turned into an argument and the argument turned into a full blown fight which would've ended with the other person unconscious had the other residents not stepped in to stop them.

So the day was going swimmingly. The criminal sustained a few wounds and scratches but nothing too serious, well except for the black eye forming. It also didn't help that Villain has a meeting with Supervillain that night. They contemplated wearing shades to hide it but that seems rather plain, so Villain chose to wear an eyepatch.

They stood in front of Supervillain's office door and straightened themself. They wore a white button up with 4 of its top buttons open and its sleeves rolled up. A coat hang loosely on their shoulders. It isn't practical for a meeting but it matches beautifully with their eyepatch. Their knock was answered with a low and rather tired sounding "come in."

Villain never expected anything when they entered, and certainly not seeing the master criminal read through their documents with shades on. Supervillain is known by the public as Villain's equal in terms of aesthetics. Regal, composed, intimidating. Supervillain carries themself with such dignity it was rather foreign seeing them like that.

"Am I right to assume that I have permission to ask exactly what are you doing?" The criminal moved forward.

Supervillain let out a long exasperated sigh as they leaned back on their chair, "I'm working, obviously."

"With shades on?"

"It's all in braille."

"Right..." Villain trailed off, looking over the documents that had been reprinted to be in braille, "Why are you wearing that anyway?"

"Black eye." Supervillain tipped the glasses down to reveal their black eye and a few scratches just below their eyebrows, "Some bland bastard next door picked a fight with me earlier today, they were lucky I was holding back. Honestly didn't think they'd have the guts to fight."

[andreafmn]

I'm Not Afraid | Chapter 11

Word Count: 3K Story Description: (Y/N) Argent arrived at Beacon Hills to put to rest her father’s sister, Kate Argent. For the first time, her family has decided to settle down and sustain a life in this interesting small town. After 17 years, (Y/N) has the opportunity to establish interpersonal relationships but will she be ready to face the complications that come with relating to her cousin’s, Allison, friends; especially, the infamous Derek Hale. She will face the adventure of being associated with the Derek and McCall pack, as well as being faced with the discovery of certain aspects of her life she never imagined. Chapter: 11/? A/N: Somehow manage to cough out 3k words with a migraine flare-up, so hope you enjoy it 💖 My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts to support me and my love of writing or buy me a coffee TikTok • Instagram • Business | MASTERLIST If you’d like to be tagged in this or any other story: click here Make sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post! 

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Chapter 11

Friday couldn't come any quicker. Sure, they were going to an underground rave to catch a murderous reptile and the murderer that was controlling him, but it was an underground rave, nonetheless.   

It was no surprise that (Y/N) had never gone to a party before. Being a social pariah at every school she had been to, there had been a lack of invitations for her. So, the fact that she would be going to one and that they were so close to trapping the biggest threat to Beacon Hills in one night had the girl's veins buzzing with excitement.   

If she had gotten more than three hours to sleep that night, it would have been too much. Having woken up at six in the morning to take Brody out for a run, she knew the crash would be inevitable later that day. But how could she sleep? The party and the Kanima weren't the only things running through her mind.   

Derek had not left her thoughts for a second. She could feel the warmth of his hands on her skin, she could smell his cologne, she could hear his breath right next to her ear, and she could almost, almost, feel his lips on hers. The night before they had been so close to finally sharing a kiss. If Isaac had spent even two more seconds inside, they sure would have been caught mid-kiss.   

But he didn't. He exited the loft at just the right time to startle them apart, making them wait that much longer to give in. Even if all she wanted was to throw caution to the wind and give in. She wanted him more than she thought she could want anyone else.   

After coming back home, (Y/N) hurried to school. She thought the more she rushed the faster night would come. Sitting still on her bike was almost impossible as the anxious thrill of what came after school rushed through her. All she wanted was to get through her classes and get to the rave.   

As she entered the school, making a beeline for her locker, she ended up crashing into someone, her bag flying through the air and spilling its contents all over the hall. Just by the force of the body she bumped into, she had an idea of who it could be.   

“Where are you hurrying to, Scott?” (Y/N) called out as she started to gather her things.   

“Oh, sorry, (Y/N),” he gave her an apologetic smile. “I wasn’t looking where I was going.”    

“You okay?” she said as her eyes finally fell on his face. “You look kinda bummed out, not gonna lie.”  

“It’s nothing,” he sighed. “I just saw Allison and she got weird there at the end. She said it was nothing, but I don’t know.”    

(Y/N) was the first to stand up, taking the books Scott had gathered from his hands. “What were you guys talking about?” she asked. “Was it about tonight?”   

“More or less. But it’s more about what I told you about her mom,” he shrugged. “I told her that it would be good for her parents to see us with other people, so they think we are broken up. And she was fine with it at first, but she got weird after.”   

“Please tell me she didn’t mention me,” the girl groaned.   

“Why would she?”  

“So I guess she hasn’t told you.” She sighed before she continued, feeling like a gossip as she relayed the information. “You know how I told you she was acting off? Well, we had an interesting conversation regarding all that. She basically accused me of trying to take you from her.”  

“Take me?” Scott questioned. “Take me where?”  

The Argent girl couldn’t help the laugh that overtook her as the poor oblivious boy tried to make sense of what she had said. His expression could only be explained as a lost puppy dog. They had been walking to Chemistry class and he’d stopped dead in his tracks at the statement.  “She thinks I’m trying to make you my boyfriend,” she explained. “She claimed that everything came easy to me and that I already had a lot. And on top of that, I was trying to steal you away.”  

“But where would she get that idea? I mean, sure we’re friendly but I don’t think either of us has been anything but.”   

“I don’t know and honestly, it’s her shit to get over,” (Y/N) brushed off. “I made it more than clear to her that there was nothing between us. If she still wants to be pissed at me about it, then she can stay mad.”   

“I’ll talk to her,” he offered. “You should also know that your family knows that there are essentially two killers.”   

“She told them everything, didn't she?”  

“Sort of. But that's a good thing. The more people there are to take them down, the better.”   

“Sure, if those people weren't Argents and Gerard wasn't here.”   

“So, it's a bad thing?”  

“Let's just say that if they get involved, there might be one or two students that won't come to school tomorrow.”   

“Ms. Argent, Mr. McCall!” Mr. Harriss called their attention. “If it's not something you want to share with the class, I suggest you keep it quiet.”   

“Sorry, Mr. Harris,” the pair mumbled before they sank into their seats and placed their attention on the board.    

The rest of the day went by in a flash. As the time got closer, the more (Y/N) could feel the nerves creeping up her neck. Long gone was the excitement, instead replaced by a chilling sense of dread that she couldn’t seem to shake. Something in the back of her mind told her that tonight would most likely end in a tragedy. For whom, she wasn't sure. But she could feel the inevitability of a loss.   

As soon as the last bell rang, she gathered her things, ready to go back home and change. She had to pick up Isaac and Erica before the rave, much to her detriment. She was fine with Isaac. But something about the blonde was less than digestible for her. Maybe it was her personality, but her subconscious knew it was because of Derek. To that day, she couldn't shake the image of them in his car. And she hated that it made her question how okay she would be if he decided he couldn't wait any longer.   

“What the hell?” Her phone ringing in her pocket broke her out of thought as she was getting on her bike. “Uncle Chris?”   

“Hey, (Y/N), by chance did Allison talk to you today?”   

“Not really,” she answered, biting her tongue to not spill that they had yet to speak in two days. “What's wrong?”   

“We're gonna need you to meet us at home. We’ve got a meeting about tonight.”   

“Oh, uh, sure.”   

“We'll see you here, okay?”   

“Yeah. See you.”   

(Y/N) was quick to text Isaac the change of plans, the surprise shared between them. She told him that it was more than likely they would be planning an attack at the rave that night, and that every single member of Derek’s pack needed to be on high alert from the Argents. If they did go, they would be going for blood.   

As serious as the moment was, the blond boy couldn't help but throw a joke into the mix, asking her if she wanted the whole pack to be safe or if she wanted to make sure that Derek was safe. It made her face change into a million shades of red, regretting the fact that Isaac knew such a vulnerable piece of information.   

Instead of dwelling on the message, (Y/N) sped to her uncle's house, bracing herself to meet with revenge-blind hunters that wanted to take down the Kanima and anything that got in their way. But she wasn't sure if she wasn't prepared for those tens of men or finally seeing her cousin after two days.   

She knew she had been harsh, but she did not regret a single word she had said. Allison had formulated an image of her in her mind that was nowhere near what reality was, and it made her question if she could trust her with other aspects of her life. Could she tell her about Derek? Could she tell her about what her dad had told her? Could she trust that if she confessed that she wanted the family business to change that Allison would keep it to herself?   

They were questions she would have to wait to answer.  

Her uncle's house came into view, the driveway filled with tinted black SUVs. If she hadn't known there were meant to be people there, she would have been awfully intimidated, and most likely would have kept driving. But she fought the desire to escape and clothed herself in confidence, walking into the home like she belonged there.   

She nodded to a couple of people she knew, following the trail of people into the basement where Allison, Chris, and Gerard were waiting. The girl made a beeline for her family, ignoring her cousin's intense gaze. If (Y/N) had been questioning if Allison was still angry at her, she had gotten her answer.   

“(Y/N), can I speak to you over here?” Chris asked her as she got closer, motioning to an empty corner. (Y/N) followed her uncle, thankful that she didn't have to face her cousin or her grandfather just yet. “I know you've been kind of out of the loop since your dad has been away, so I don’t want you to feel ambushed. Allison told me everything that's been going on and I'd like to think that if you knew more information about all of this that you would tell us about it.”   

“Of course, I would," she smiled sweetly. “I would do anything for our family's cause. But I just don't know what to look out for. Mom and Dad have been away a lot and I haven't had much training in all of this.”   

“Maybe I can talk to Victoria,” he said. “She could help you and Allison with what it means to lead the hunters. One day it will be up to you two and it's best you're prepared.”   

A shiver traveled up (Y/N)'s spine as she thought about spending time with her aunt and being taught what it was like to be a female hunter. The woman had always unnerved her and the last thing she wanted was to be in close confines with her. “That would be great,” she said instead. “Maybe once mom comes back we can all meet up.”   

“Alright sounds good, (Y/N),” he smiled. “Now, get in line. Meeting's starting.”   

“Aye, aye, Captain.”   

She had to bite back a smirk. Her uncle had eaten up her oblivious and unknowledgeable façade, allowing her to fly under the radar. If that was the role she had to play, then she would damn well give an Oscar-worthy performance.  

(Y/N) watched as Allison took a seat on the wooden stairs, choosing to stand as far from her as possible. Her cousin wasn't talking to her, and she was planning on doing the same. She could already hear her father's words, begging her to take the high road. But she didn't want to be the bigger person, she wanted her to apologize.   

“All right,” Chris called for everyone's attention. “The party's in a warehouse just inside the industrial sector. Allison has learned that Jackson Whittemore will be there seeking his next target out of the crowd. Since we still have no clue as to just how strong he is, we need to be extremely cautious.”   

As (Y/N) listened to her uncle speak, her attention was drawn to a soft rattling sound. Out of the corner of her eye, (Y/N) noticed her grandfather swallowing two pills. The last thing she had heard, Gerard, was of sound mind and health. Pills didn't feel like something that fit his persona. Without even knowing, she had engrained the fact into her mind. If there's one thing she knew, no detail was too small. At some point, it could become necessary information.   

“When Allison had Jackson's location and has determined him to be at the optimal point where we can take him down, she'll signal me,” Chris continued, his eyes falling on his daughter. “Optimal meaning as far from the crowd as possible. If she cannot, (Y/N), I take you will make sure to do so. There will be no collateral damage tonight. You two, go ahead.”   

The man motioned his head toward the two of them, waiting for the teens to disappear before any of them talked. (Y/N) followed behind her cousin begrudgingly, drowning in the unnerving energy that was shared between the two family members.   

“Okay, this is stupid,” (Y/N) finally spoke, grabbing Allison's elbow to turn her around. “You cannot still be mad at me for something that you made up completely in your head?”   

“In my head? My dad doesn't even believe I can do one job without screwing up,” she seethed. “You didn't have to be here. I could have done this by myself.”   

“Come on, Ali. I'm basically your understudy here,” (Y/N) finally confessed, tears stinging the back of her eyes  “I only have friends because you introduced me to them. The only reason Scott and I have gotten close is because he's a good friend. And tonight, the only way I get to do anything is if you fail. And that is a huge if. So, instead of blaming me for whatever it is that you are feeling, try and focus on why you're feeling it.”   

“(Y/N)...”   

“Whatever, Allison,” she shrugged her off. “And be careful. I'm pretty sure you'll be leading Jackson right into Gerard's trap.”   

As soon as (Y/N) was outside, she fumbled in her pocket for her phone, dialing the number of the person that should have been the most aware of her family's plan. A pang of guilt bubbled in her gut as the thought that she was betraying her family. But there was a part of her that knew that what she wanted to do could not just save one life, but it could potentially save the lives of all her friends.  

“(Y/N)? Is everything okay?”  

“Listen, Derek, my family is gonna be there tonight,” she breathed. “They say they're only gonna be there to trap Jackson before he gets to his next victim. But something tells me they're there to kill him, whoever's controlling him, and anyone that gets in their way.”   

“How did they find out that it was Jackson or that there were two killers?”   

“Allison told her dad,” she said. “But she didn't have another choice, and I get that. But I need to make sure you and everyone else are safe. So, you might have to change certain strategies.”   

“You're aware that the majority of us are werewolves?” Derek laughed on the phone. “The one that should be worried, should be me.”   

“I've been training for something like this my whole life,” she smirked. “And technically, I’m the one who can get closest to Jackson. He can't paralyze me.”   

“But he can do a lot worse,” he said. “And I won't let that happen. All you have to do is keep a lookout. Isaac and Erica will get him.”   

“I am more than capable of doing this.”   

“(Y/N). You can not get close to him,” he commanded angrily. “You're inexperienced and you could get in the way. I don't want you to get close to Jackson, and that's an order.”   

“Thankfully, I don't take orders from you, Derek,” she scoffed. “Anyways, watch out for Argent hunters. They might have you on their target list.”   

“(Y/N)....”   

“Goodbye.”   

(Y/N) knew that Derek meant well but all she could do was feel betrayed. The one person she thought would have believed in her the most had made her feel weak and incompetent. Even if it was her first time taking a threat this big on, she had been confident that she was an asset to the pack. But he had made her feel otherwise.   

But that only made her more determined. (Y/N) would prove to Derek and to her family just how good of an advantage she was. She would prove it to herself.   

*** 

Derek couldn't believe what he'd said. All he wanted was to make sure that (Y/N) was safe, make sure that she was nowhere near where she could be hurt. It had been a long time since he had cared so deeply about someone else, and he despised the fact that he'd started to do so when so much was happening in the town. She had been kind enough to warn them about her family. Going behind their back to make sure he and the pack were safe. And instead of being thankful, he chastised her and made her feel small.  

“So, are we going already?” Erica snipped at the alpha. “Or do we have to wait until you're done gushing over the new girl?”  

“I'd watch my mouth if I were you, Erica,” he seethed. “One more word and you can stay here tonight.”  

“And miss out on all of this? Not a chance,” she groaned. “Fine, not another word.”  

“I don't want any mistakes tonight,” Derek directed himself to the group of teenagers before him. “I was just informed that the Argents will be there. You cannot let them see you or what you are. They are not going there to trap Jackson. They will be there to kill him.”  

“Or us,” Isaac added, a flash of fear crossing through his face. “Is it safe for us then?”  

“It will be,” he reassured. “As long as everyone sticks to the plan. Now, let's go. We cannot waste more time.”  

Derek needed that night to go without a hitch. That way he could think of ways to dig himself out of the hole he’d created with (Y/N). Because the last person he wanted to have hate him was her. 

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