#its just been heavy on my mind. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taiyami · 4 months

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I just wanted to reach out to folks and say thanks for not scrutinizing me for interacting with a little more selfship content than usual lately. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, and I just hope I'm not being overbearing with that kind of content ?

#I'm going through a rough patch in my life and so it's bringing me a lot of comfort to be in that community space right now ^_^#tai talks #i know people probably dont mind but im just ?? idk i get worried people will get tired of me when i go through a content dry spell #and i have a lot of friends who kind of have a distaste for the s/ship community or are just very impartial to it #ive always been a s/ship safe space and i dont think that will ever change but im also trying to unlearn shame and have a little fun with it #its just been heavy on my mind.#especially whenever i want to rb a fun s/ship question with my own answers but choose not to because ... idk?#im afraid people will become annoyed or frustrated with my presence instead of positive things #i dont think that feeling will ever go away but idk. i love my friends who are s/ship blogs and i love seeing peoples content for that!#it brings me a lot of joy recently #anyways if you read all that .... thank you ^_^ <33

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seaquestions · 3 months

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RAAAGH ITS DONE!!! THE PADSBURY PINES PRIMER. hi. hi hi hi. i made an entire team of guys to fill out a roster for a fictional furry hockey team. and this, this is merely a slice of my little FHL pet project, but i rly liked working on it. so please... take a gander.......

#niksartstuffs #ocs #furry art #anthro #furry hockey league #WHEEEHEHE ITS DONE. maybe i shouldnt post this thing thats been so heavy on my mind at 12:21 am but. AGH. i just want it out of me!!!#anyway i made like 20+ guys ik realistically there shld be more but i made TWENTY guys ok. please love at least one of them...

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wil-fae · 5 months

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I had more ideas, so today is more streamer tim and jason (help me with what their twitch users would be, begging)

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zerotwoooo · 2 months

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stay strong you can do this most of us are rooting for you all to save popstar and be careful some has been tell in zero information about you and zero thinks that he has already won prove him wrong

"...We will try our best!"

"Agreed. We have gotten far."

"Let's hope things go well...!"

#kirby meta knight #storypost #meta knight #kirby of the stars #kirby askblog #trypanophobia warning in notes #So #While theyre hitting castle ddd tonight #I might not post again tonight or tomorrow #Im getting vaccinated tomorrow (supposed to today but yknow... things happen or whatever)#anyway I have severe phobia of needles #Im not guaranteeing that I wont post tomorrow but I do know that I will likely be sick (not literally but in the stress way)#I did want them to hit Castle Dedede around now so feel free to ask anyways!#I was just letting yall know why I've been and will post less #even though its hitting a heavy story point #and I usually try to post several times durring those #just letting yall know ahead of time ^^#so... 200$ vaccine #we had to search because no one takes medicade #to find it at 20$#kinda annoyed #anyway its tomorrow??? again #if this happens one more time im gonna lose my mind

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crispywizardtale · 10 months

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#im a day late but i met ForceBook so i dont mind missing any of the 8 series im currently watching #but i have to talk about this #i was blown away by the chemistry this 2 give off #this was such a powerful scene #the way Phaya gasped and froze when he realizes that Tharn just kissed him is so well shown #but also the way he accepts it and just wants more wants to enjoy this moment and ge everything he can #its like a switch has been switched on inside of Phaya but also inside Tharn because its like he solber ups for a moment when their eyes met #the connection they share is so powerful #i kind of wish they kissed here of just a tiny peck which would be followed by heavy breathing and intenese eye contact #but i still love this scene a lot #i love how in the 1st ep it was Tharn who lost his cool and leaned back on Phaya while in this ep it was mostly Phaya (Tharn was drunk)#is anyone else freaking out over the forehead kiss?????#only me okay...#also after the last gif i need Phaya and Tharn to do it on the cauntertop at least once in this series #like imagine is shirtless Phaya lifts Tharn like that...#i gave myself hope now.... and if we dont get it ill be disappointed....#i love this series so much its my all time fave airing now #the sign #the sign the series #the sign series #billybabe #billy patchanon #asian bl #bl series #thai bl

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constantvariations · 9 days

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I can't stop thinking about the relationship between characteristics and faunus types. Given we know next to nothing about faunus biology and how it may differ from human, are these traits regular genetics or symbolic like semblances (sometimes) are?

Is Adam stubborn because he's a bull faunus or is he a bull faunus because he's stubborn? Is Blake agile and dexterous because that's how cats are or just how she is? Is Velvet easy prey for bullies because she's naturally shy or do her rabbit instincts make her so? Does Sun love bananas because they're a delicious source of potassium or because he's a monkey boy?

To what extent are faunus influenced by their animal side?

#rwde #this Thing seemed to taper off after v3 which is why im not using the bellaparents or ilia as examples #but its been on my mind for a while. mainly bc adam being bull like goes completely at odds w that scene w blake in the adam short #bulls aint exactly known for their emotional manipulation tactics. even ones as transparent and heavy handed as that #its so weird how shawluna will lean into the animal traits for a joke but never really address it anywhere else #and according to after the fall using animal sayings around a faunus of that type is racist which... idk man #im not sure how saying 'when pigs fly' around a pig faunus is offensive. calling them that/an animal is offensive bc theyre a person #idk not a whole lot of thought was put into faunus and its so obvious and so exhausting #Hopefully some of this makes sense. my brain is soup and my thoughts arent words just vibes

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nina-ya · 2 months

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GOOD MORNING LOVES 💕💕💕 HAPPY TUESDAY I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE AN AMAZING DAY SENDING LOVE TO YOU ALL

#nina rambles~✦#I thought it was Wednesday #I was freaking the hell out thinking I had something due today BUT NOPE ITS TOMORROW LMAOO #dumb dumb moment #I’m currently on my lunch break #been here since 6 SIGHS #someone come free me #I need to sprint more often me and aims got 1.5k done in a single sitting #might do it tonight and pump out this ace thing #ugh I also just saw art of law as a doctor and hhggghhggnnnnn #LAW HEAVY ON THE MIND #anyways I gotta go back to work bye yall talk to you later sending smooches

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forgotten-daydreamer · 28 days

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vent moment but my health is a bit worse than i let on, which is weird ik since it seems like complain about it all the time here, and apparently i also look sick, because two separate people in their 40s or 50s asked me, 24, if i needed their seat on the bus. kind of them. but humiliating nonetheless.

#medical stuff cw #i sat on the steps instead of taking their seat #vent cw #i have to take five different pills a day excluding birth control which i also take for health reasons but okay #i have to thank italy for its healthcare system because at least i dont have to pay a fuckton for all that stuff. except birthcontrol.#as i may have mentioned they found quite a bit of blood in my piss so im getting tested for ✨️cancer✨️#also because i've been having health issues which might be rated #my blood work is all off but i didnt get tested for tumoral cells specifically because i may have 'just' an autoimmune condition #so im on heavy duty antibiotics too now bc i also developed antibiotic resistance last year. anyway.#i need to take those and then they'll test my peepee again but this time they will also test explicitly for tumoral cells #because something is off and my previous blood work didnt point out what exactly #terrible anemia and other slightly-off numbers that however shouldnt be off considering my lifestyle #i eat almost everything. drink plenty of water. exercise. barely smoke. not even drinking anymore. i'm not too fat nor too skinny.#so. some of the numbers that are off dont really have a reason to be off which is why they are testing my blood and piss for cancer #but like. in 3 weeks because i have to take antibiotics and iron meds (not supplements. meds.) first #so my mind's trying to convince itself that i dont have a tumor. but what if i do? i know i dont. but not knowing makes me go insane #also i have to get tested for heart disease because that motherfucker is not working properly. doesnt pump enough blood to my brain.#i took an ekg and it came back pretty normal except for tachycardia #now i have to go get an holter ekg - but was told to wait until uni starts again bc i need that exam to be done when i have a daily routine #so basically they slap electrodes and shit on me for 24 hrs while i go do my shit around the city and then see how my heart behaved #because i cant stand without struggling to breathe and sometimes it happens when in laying down to.#sometimes i cant fall asleep because i cant breathe #at first the doc thought it might be a reflux issue but not. all good on that front.#so. we'll see. and i mean. i KNOW it's not cancer. like. i'd be dead by now bc i've been having these symptoms for five months #however. i dont know if it's not an autoimmune disease. and if it is? what am i gonna do?

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backseatloversz · 4 months

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you are not your passing thoughts and you are not your dreams and you are not your subconscious and they cannot hurt you or anyone else. okay

#i dont dream very often and when i do its normally something pretty mundane but theres been some heavy stuff on my mind/coming up in my life #recently and ive had 3 horrifying dreams in the past 4 nights and within the dream last night i cried so hard i almost threw up and its #still Plaguing Me but it was literally. just a dream. but also im like What If Its Not im gonna go insane #cowboy posts

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devotedlystrangewizard · 5 months

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the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.

he never was.

#ramblings #incoherent beyond belief its 4 am #and im trying to avoid manga spoilers #might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything #actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers #manga readers know whats up #idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet #but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so #cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO #which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away #but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound #him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder #trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others #hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him #he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS #ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be #his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything #which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk #like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him #but.#hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late #both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR #also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot #the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it #CRAZY #if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga #ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE

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obiwan-kenobabe · 1 month

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Not to be dramatic, but I started my period on the first day of my vacation and I have been fucking miserable the whole week. Like... I'm having a really terrible time and this period is killing me from the inside out.

#dont mind me #im suffering so bad #literally one of my worst periods I've had in a hot minute #and its happening while I'm stuck in a lakehouse with like 16 other people for two weeks #its been so painful and heavy and im so tired and weak im just suffering while trying to pretend I'm alive around all these people #i want to cry but i dont even have any privacy to do THAT

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downsteepy · 9 months

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(acts like people have been twisting my arm) ok fine i'll draw astarion fine ...

#my art #baldur's gate 3 #astarion bg3 #idk what else to tag. its him its astarion 🫵#anyway. i relate to him on a few aspects so he's been on my mind lately despite the fact that i probably wont ever actually play bg3 #(i dont really like d&d)#idk i appreciate him. i'm glad to see a character that has gone through similar things to me even if it's not exact .#i think some of his dialogue in . act 2 ? hurts me so bad bc of how heavy it hits. idk like i said he's just been on my mind lately

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blackvahana · 19 days

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Yeah. Man. I'm just sitting here remembering I've been doing this my entire life. I feel like there was a patch I wasn't, part of the teen years, and that's either I've forgotten because trauma orrrr something else but

No wonder I've never felt anchored on this plane. But it doesn't matter, well, no, it matters a lot, but this life is just constantly isolating in how it works so I will keep the talk of not fitting in here and what being weirdly one got in one foot out has done to talking to myself lmfao but... I remember. I remember being in the garden as a really young child and I'm not a young child. I'm this chimaeric fairy-type thing of swirling and bulging colours like a psychedelic faceted-insect-eye's led trip, four or more wings of different types that are again, so ungrounded, so psychedelic, vivid. Not uncertain. Not half-formed. Fully formed, the starbeing in me just barely contained in the shape of the human-pretending-to-be-a-fae it's pretending to be

I remember so much, actually, and it's. it's just weirdly melancholic....? Maybe not melancholic, but it's so sad and I don't know why. Actually. I mean I've been trying to piece it together for like twenty minutes now but... People get a little irritated at me for being very "you don't understand and no one sees me" but like. I have lived an entire life walkinv streets where no one sees me. It's very complicated, there's. mental health stuff in there because of course I've come across a lot of spirits but I have bad issues seeing people as real but like. Man yeah no I am a snail and one part of me can be physically seen but the other has always been on the other side

#There's a lot to this that I just don't want to get into because it's no ones business irt mental health issues influencing #isolation and then trauma and stuff. It's not a matter of ''I was involved in astral stuff and no one else in the world Ever has been''#lmfao like it's just that. Astral self is still me and man. Idk. Realising these past few years constantly the Trauma(tm)#And it makes so many physical events now make sense where like I felt like I could (do astral stuff) and #Man. It's just. There's so much melancholic distance in these astral memories kept behing the Mask Face expression #it really is like. you ever have to leave someone at a bus stop or airport and you're not sure you'll ever see them again #It's this weird heavy and distinct feeling looking at myself like this astral body is a family dog I've just left in #à forest at night and I'm driving away from them and they just know. It's not like Tears Flowing sad it's this. the entire form #just swallows existence. It just is eternally falling away from the world and swallowing it as it goes #It's not a dog left at the roadside its the goddamn ghost of one left years ago. You see it and you aren't sad about leaving your #dog you're like wow. That dogs still here. I don't know what to do. It's image is burned into my retina. It's looking at me #I can see it getting further away in the rear view mirror and no one would ever believe me I'm seeing a ghost so this moment #is etched into my mind now. Except. The memory fades anyway when you look away. It's so like....... It's not even sad #It's just a ghost. I was worried about connecting astral and physical bodies and starting this journey to projection #fully consciously because I knew there'd be a lot of Trauma but this isn't even trauma it's just... My god. I've existed my #entire life as a ghost. like. /ghost/ ghost. Ghost. haunting my own existence. And it's again not just sad it's this weird...#I feel like I've only ever been able to exist off this plane. I exist in this liminal state I exist most freely when unwanted #Not because I need to be unwanted but because what I am freaks people out #Yeah that. vision. that vision of my astral form in this weird obscure unplaceable large animal with a blurred #mask like face in the headlights or tail lights of a car - it's hard to know because it warps reality. I don't know what direction #I'm travelling. I don't know what this thing is. but it's on this forest-flanked road in these lights and it's looking and #there's no one around that can elucdiate the situation and............. Yeah. Man. Yeah.#ramblings //#Astral body //#Astral diary //

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sprinklethetangerine · 4 months

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I think this is a pretty reasonable situation to cry in, right?

#ughhhhh #you know what becausd i hate myself (not really dw) this isnt gonna be a vaguepost #if youre reading the tags buckle the fuck up #so last week and the week before were spring break for me #and the week before was jjst full of studying and exam stress to the point where i couldnt attend my archery lessons #cause all i was doing at that time was either studying or feeling like shit for not studying #but when spring break hit actually THE VERY SECOND it arrived I had to go to another city about two hours away to visjt family #and guess what? I STAYED THERE FOR ALMOST THE WHOLE ENTIRE SPRING FUCKING BREAK #so i couldnt even do most of the shit i wanted to #and even there i couldnt enjoy my time #why? because ALL I DID was study. my cousin tutors me and I was failing these 3 specific subjects #so she was helping me withtgem and she wouldnt leave me be #and when my (undiagnosed) adhd made me shit at focusing and my mind keot wantering and i kept looking away because i was understimulated #i got shouted at which was not very fun #whats worse is she did it in front of people. literally in public.#then we come back home THANKFULLY and she comes with us. because of course.#and now all my time all of it except for one or two hours of the day is just studying #the only free time i have is when she sleeps #and school. literally never in my life have i been happy to go to school and yet id rather be there than here.#but what choice do i really have #its either this or fail the exams #it gets worse. on thursday i was really tired from school. i came back and PASSED OUT #and by passed out I mean PASSED OUT #idk if it was cause it was hot outside or school just drained my energy but i could barely exist at that point #then my cousin finds me on the couch sweaty and basically dying #what does she do? she wakes me up like “alright time to study”#so yesterday i did charity work and it involved carrying a lot of heavy boxes and stuff so i naturally came back drained and tired and she #STILL WANTED ME TO STUDY so the second we got back I just slept and i was practically comatose so she coukdnt even wake me up #i slept for 11 hours and woke up to MORE STUDYING HURRAY and then at 5 i went to archery class and we got back at 8 and she WONT STOP #i just want to go home. im so tired. physically and mentally and emotionally. i just wanna go fucking home.

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slttygeto · 1 year

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feeding you guys suguru angst after this episode feels a little mean from my part. i promise to repay you w something happy and cheerful when i can hehe

#*＊✿❀talk to moon❀✿＊*#its just suguru angst has been heavy on my mind and i love it #he’s literally my bf but im writing sad shit for him what is this #i have so many self indulgent thoughts abt him they never stop (the recent smut is one of them)#but what do u think i should write #i mean for him or for anyone else hehe

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dark-twist-fairytales · 1 year

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Someone needs to take my keyboard away

Ninja-less is becoming more than just season 1/2 'what if' and that's scaring me.

#ninja-less au #no serious ive been plotting in my mind steadily and its becoming more of a series rewrite which- was not expecting--#ALSO IM ONLY 2.3 K WORDS INTO CHAPTER 7- THIS SHIT L E G N T H Y #and its only increasing #and its only tuesday #its only fucking tuesday folks #iv- i just got pelted in the fucking knee by a heavy ass sippy cup #ninjago #ninjago au

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