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#its kind of ridiculous honestly
prototypelq · 7 months
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listening to dark souls design critiques works better than therapy, tried and true method I promise
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casualavocados · 2 months
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Learn from who? Learn from you? You are still a brat. What do you know? You're only three years older. Like you are any better than me. You're 21, and still a virgin. What are you proud of? I think you can't do it.
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 06
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userspicy#userrain#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#*gestures at the caption* this is honestly the funniest argument they could possibly have idfk what to tell you. it's very ai di#meanwhile whatever's going through chen yi's head rn has recently been doused with 'the boss doesnt care abt me like that'#after watching cdy and zml at dinner. like chen yi already knows *before* ep9 & ai dis confession that cdy will never look at him#(the diff. between this scene & ep9's. is him failing in regards to the gang as well in cdy's eyes. he goes from feelings of disappointment#& irritability to complete despair and both times he drinks to cope. bc hes not enough in cdy's eyes in ANY of the ways he wants/hoped)#so honestly the crisis chen yi goes thru right here isnt unfounded at all hes literally dealing w an inadvertent rejection of his feelings#its chaos in his head and ai di is picking at him again and the wine is tilting in his blood and then- 'learn from who? learn from you?'#like what do YOU know about love ai di (WHILE CHEN YI'S PULLING HIM LIKE THAT-) so OF COURSE ai di goes for the deepest dig he can.#'i bet you cant get hard that explains how much of a coward you are'. its ridiculous the ways in which they push each other over the edge#but im ngl im kind of obsessed the way chen yi's tipsy line of thinking 'learn from you?' turned into the action 'fuck it learn from ME'#ANYWAY EVERYONE GO LISTEN TO 'LOSE CONTROL' BY TEDDY SWIMS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. THe most chen yi song pre-ep9
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thegreatyin · 17 days
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oh, so when other people indulge in their special interests and find joy in their hobbies it's "joyful" and "whimsical" and "autism swag", but when i, mr veils,
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Just started Deadalive and I'm sorry but does Skinners whole"i don't truly think he was the last one" line mean what I think it means? Bc standing over Mulder's grave at his FUNERAL and basically just going "Scully, I know that's his fucking baby" IS INSANE!!! Like am I misinterpreting that as being apart of Scully's thing about him being the last of his family or whatever and meaning he doesn't believe Mulder was the last of his family to die? Bc that's all I can think that means and looking at Scully at Mulder's funeral and being like "Hey I know it's a weird time to bring it up bc your.....partner?.... just died but I just want to say I know that baby's gonna have his last name" is just nuts
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we-were-so-beautiful · 9 months
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4. shower
wow look it's another chapter!!! like... not that long after the last one, even! honestly I had the first 3 sections of this basically entirely written not long after finishing the last one, but eventually I decided I should probably do literally anything else for a while (hyperfocus is a real dick lol), and so I'm just now getting back to it. I thought this was gonna be on the shorter side, but it's about the same as the last one, around 1.3k! there's a pretty important reveal in this one...
Content warnings for this chapter: box boy universe, pet whump, dehumanization, conditioning, infected wounds, (severe) illness. As always, please let me know if there's anything else I need to tag.
[masterlist] [chapter three]
Vanessa’s never been particularly sensitive to scents—it’s a saving grace, in a mind where too much light or sound or texture can make her feel like she’s dying. But by the time the guy lying shaking on the seats behind her practically falls out of the taxi in front of her stoop, even she’s having a hard time with the smell coming off of him. Given how the driver peels away with all his windows down the second she pulls the last scrap of soiled newspaper from his backseat, it probably isn’t just her.
She turns back to the guy, for the first time finally alone with him. She’s too short to be used to talking down to people, but he’s hunched himself into that weird curled-up position again, so when she speaks it's aimed vaguely toward the top of his head. “Okay. First things first, we’re getting your ass in the shower,” she tells him. “And then we can deal with the effects of my questionable life decisions.” She pauses for a moment, considers. “Well. This one, anyway.”
There’s no way she’s getting him in through the front like this. Too many stairs, and too much dirt. The garden door will have to cut it. She motions for him to follow her down the alley, and he unfurls himself just enough to shuffle after her.
As soon as the shadows close in around them, she looks back over her shoulder. When she’s satisfied that no one can see them, she unclasps the collar from around his neck and tosses it, leash and all, into the garbage.
Vanessa can’t say she’s ever been grateful for the fact that her parents are insane enough to have a swimming pool in the basement of their New York fucking brownstone. Quite frankly, she still isn’t; they got the fucker installed when she was a kid and she screamed for so many days they finally packed her off to a hotel with her nanny of the week just to shut her up. Which they probably should have done in the first place, given that she was nine and there was a jackhammer in her fucking basement.
What she is grateful for now, though, is that the part of this floor that isn’t taken up by the pool—or the hot tub, or the weirdly redundant multi-person bathtub—is a shower stall the size of her literal bedroom. Complete with benches, and removable showerheads, and, she’s hoping, everything else she could possibly need right now.
“In here,” she motions, and he drags himself onto the tiles. “I’d offer you the weirdly redundant multi-person bathtub, but you’ve barely been able to keep your head up all day and the last thing I need is to fucking drown a guy in my basement. Also no offense but you’re literally so dirty right now I’d have to drain the fucker the second you got in. After this you can have a bath whenever you want, if you’re into that sorta thing, but for right now you’re getting a damn rinse.”
Once he’s more or less situated on the built-in shower bench, propped up in the corner in hopes it’ll keep him from falling ass over, Vanessa gets to work, still fully clothed down to her chucks on the marble tile. She unhooks a showerhead and aims it at the drain while it warms up. “Is this okay?” she asks, pointing it at his feet, and he flinches sluggishly but doesn’t respond either way.
“I don’t know what that means, guy.” She tests the water again with her hand. “It can’t be that bad, can it?” she muses out loud. “It’s the same temperature I’d use for me, and fuck knows I’m… y’know, picky. So if you want it different you gotta tell me, okay.”
He doesn’t tell her shit. But he doesn’t flinch too much harder when she moves the stream of water up toward his knees, either, and she figures that’s the best she’s gonna get.
She leans over him and focuses the showerhead on his hair. It’s matted stiff as tree bark, the water barely able to permeate through the layers of filth. “Shit, I dunno man, your hair’s got so much crap in it. Not to mention it wouldn’t surprise me if that shelter gave you goddamn lice.” She shudders. “Might be better off just cutting it short.”
There’s a noise she barely registers as a gasp before his ice-pale eyes fly open and he clutches her arm, quicker than she’s seen him move by fucking light years. She jerks automatically out of his grip, dropping the showerhead in her alarm, but he fixes her with a lidless, panicky stare and the eye contact is so startling she’s frozen to the spot. “Please…” he wheezes, “don’t.”
“You fuckin’ what, dude?”
“Don’t… cut… my hair.”
She blinks, astonished. “That’s the first thing you’ve said all fucking day, isn’t it?” He doesn’t offer another. “Christ. Typical fuckin’ me not to notice.” She huffs quietly. “Well shit, dude, I guess if you give enough of a fuck to speak up about it it can stay. But so help me if I find a single fucking nit in there.”
He whimpers quietly, squeezing his eyes shut, but he doesn’t say another word.
Vanessa gingerly retrieves the showerhead from where it’s spattering up at the ceiling, along with an oversized lace bath pouf and a mostly-full bottle of body wash she’s pretty sure is fucking designer. If you could see me now, Mom, she thinks, squirting the gel at his left shoulder, the one closest to her. You… well, you probably still wouldn’t give a shit. 
She touches the pouf to his sullied skin as gently as she can, and she knows she’s not well-coordinated at the best of times but she really doesn’t feel like she deserves the choked-off sound he makes or the way he shrinks away from her when she makes contact. “Oh cmon, guy, look I know but you gotta let me get this shit off you, there’s no way it’s not fucking your shit up worse than it already is,” she cajoles, and whatever she’s said it makes something in his posture go slack and he rolls back toward her, opening himself to her touch. “Thanks, uh, I think,” she hedges, and begins to lather him up with slow, concentrative strokes. She flicks the shower back on, sluicing suds and dirt from his skin in equal measure.
"Ohhh, fucking yiiiiikes," Vanessa says softly.
With the first layer of filth washed away, Vanessa can see the far grimmer reality that’s been hidden underneath. Rows of jagged, infected gashes streak their way across his shoulder to his chest. The skin around them burns an angry red, the wounds themselves all but smothered in sickly whitish-yellow. What narrow swathes of skin remain intact are mottled purple, and now that she’s touching him, she can tell he’s just… way too much hotter than any person should ever be.
She lowers the temperature of the water and keeps washing him, afraid to look but needing to see. Each stroke only reveals more of the same. His chest and left shoulder seem to have gotten most of the worst of it, but there are stripes across his arm, his back, his stomach, deep gouges in his legs. She hasn’t tried to touch his face yet, but now that she knows what to look for she thinks she can even see a scratch or several across his cheek, trailing up into his hairline. Jesus fuck.
It all makes a sinister sort of sense now, she thinks: the shallow breathing, the shivers, the near-total lack of response. And here she thought he just had regular rescuee trauma.
“Fuck,” she breathes out quietly, as the realization creeps over her like ice.
There’s something really, really wrong with this guy.
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taglist: @maracujatangerine @pigeonwhumps @tragedyinblue @marchtothefuckingsea @octopus-reactivated @briars7
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lucksea · 2 months
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the two possibilities that might also both happen whenever i watch leo is 1 im going to stop watching before finishing it like i did with return of ultraman because i hate it too much. or 2 im going to have to redraw sydneys "where are you taking me" "i dont know man. just with me for the rest of my life i guess" with me and leo and/or nefariously written seven who was originally supposed to be a completely different character
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satuurnos · 3 months
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I think its so funny when ppl have this attachment and loyalty to this one person in their life where they kind of just like them better and therefore listen to whatever they say like it's not only a little strange
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prentissluvr · 4 months
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tw long rant and swearing!
hey!! if you don't like something i wrote! shut the fuck up and move on!! thanks bye!! no hate is tolerated on this blog :)))
i don't care if you don't like the way i characterized someone in my story!! shut up and get a better hobby than hating on something someone has spent hours creating and pouring love into and accusing them of hating one of their favorite characters because you think that the fic they wrote FOR FUN and NOT FOR YOU is bad characterization/makes the character flawed in a way that you don't like because you have a poor understanding of what makes fanfiction fanfiction (and also humans human tbh lol). sure, they're maybe more flawed than in the actual show, but THATS THE FUCKING POINT OF FANFICTION!!! IS THAT ITS NOT A REAL PART OF THE SHOW!!! AND ITS WRITTEN!!! FOR FUNNNNN!!!!! AND NOT FUCKING FOR YOU AND YOUR FUCK ASS OPINIONS SPECIFICALLY!!!!!!!! and if you think it sucks, i don't care!! you are entitled to your opinion!!!! hate it so so so much but get the fuck over yourself if you think that telling me it's horrible and unrealistic and somehow creating a bad wrap FOR MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THIS SHOW is somehow a meaningful usage of your time or gonna get me to delete the fic or stop liking it or stop promoting my own hard work !!!! i'm proud of the things i write and nothing will ever change that. i hope you know what a shitty shitty shitty (and embarrassing) thing it is to do to leave a whole paragraph of hate under someone's hard work just because they interpret a fictional fucking character in a way that you don't like. genuinely genuinely get the fuck over yourself and find a better way to spend your time than caring more about fictional characters than real life people.
#and yeah! honestly i'm upset right now#i do care because its my fic my baby my hard work#and its really hurtful to have someone tell me its stupid unrealistic and somehow a harmful representation of one of my fav characters ever#but also i don't care if people don't like what i write or how i interpret/represent a character!!!#having different opinions and stances on things is so valid and okay#but for you to spell it all out in such a judgmental condescending and hateful way in a reblog of my fic is such a hurtful thing to do#and its very upsetting to see#but it does show very clearly to me that you have no understanding of how to act appropriately or what it takes to write#or how to act maturely and kindly when you come across something of genuinely so little consequence that you don't agree with#that's one of the craziest things about that#is that fanfiction is like meaningless LMAO#and for you to read a fucking fanfiction that you don't like????#and then take the time to explain to the well meaning and hard working author who is just writing for fun and to find friends#why you hate it so much is actually ridiculous#and i am so willing to bet you have zero friends on this website!!#thats kinda mean! but there's so many hateful opinions on your blog that clearly showcase how limited your critical thinking skills are <33#also i'm speaking into the void the person who did this got blocked the second i read what they said LOL#but yeah! i'm not cool with people saying such hateful stuff to me so don't try it again <33#next time i might not be so kind as to keep someone anonymous if this happens again#but at least i'm choosing to be 1000 times more mature than you by not engaging directly and without exposing your sorry ass#. &gt;&gt; mari says shit !
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dandyshucks · 7 months
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whyyyy does nobody ever come back to this group fjdkdl they show up once for a first time and then never return !!! its kind of crushing bc some ppl I've been like... excited at the prospect of seeing them again and then they just never show up ever again :')
and I didn't even get to draw anything good while sitting there !!! AUGH
#bleaseeee come back shfkdl im the only person that goes every week !!!#theres one other person who occasionally shows up but fjdkdl otherwise its just me#and then new ppl every time#and i cannot help but feel like im doing smth wrong and making them not want to return fhfkdl#i even get ppl to talk in the latter half once I've figured their vibe out and they seem genuinely happy to engage w convos#i somehow land on a topic we all enjoy and then we have a fun convo#and im very careful to not talk too much or too little djfkdl i am constantly adjusting to make sure I'm matching whats needed#i kind of have conversations irl down to a science dhdksl its ridiculous honestly but. it is what's gotten me thru life lmao#and I've been told countless times how good i am at connecting w ppl and making ppl feel comfortable#so im just like. what am i doing wrong !! how do i make this group enjoyable so ppl will come back !!#i know it's not my job lol im just an attendee and not a leader but i feel like i Have To if i want ppl to return#idk i just. god. there were cool ppl last week and this week it was some other new person who seemed like she did not want to be there#and i doubt I'll ever see those cool ppl last week ever again#i just want to cry a little bit sbdjdkl today was such a waste of time except for the fact i was able to get out of this hell house fhfkdl#i will just keep hoping that someone actually enjoys it enough to return i guess but this is getting a bit crushing to have happen so much#but... at least i am getting to talk to ppl face to face outside of my mother every week i suppose#vent //#dandy.cmd
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emulation-0 · 9 months
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god idk what it is but this past week ive been missing my ex best friend like crazy
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salsflore · 1 year
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mantisgodsdomain · 1 year
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There are a lot of things about us that probably make sense if you know that roughly 99% of our skills are picked up in order to help us repair and maintain Old Shit that people either give away or sell for incredibly low prices thanks to it being something that one needs to acquire Specialized Skills to repair or maintain.
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beeseverywhen · 1 year
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Still makes me so mad that the hospital stole my teeth when I was too out of it from the anesthesia to fight them on it. I grew those! Just because they turned on me and I needed them out of my body, doesn't mean I didn't want to keep them.
#as opposed to the dentist who after fitting me for a new retainer was like 'so the 3d printed model of your teeth. you want that right'#that's a man that understands me#fuck yeah i do#even gave me a little bag to take it home in. that's how sure he was that I'd want it#offering to let you keep these things should be the bare minimum imo. of course I'm attached to them! they're mine. not yours#and i mean the bond between me and my teeth was much stronger than that of the 3d model#seeing as id personally grown them. carried them around for a good while. and! most importantly: they almost killed me#the bond between a girl and a thing that spent 2 years doing its damnist to make her die a timeless kind of death: irreplaceable#nothing makes you feel closer to your ancestors than regular systemic infections from a bad tooth#tho in the tooths defence. it personally was very healthy. i did a great job of growing it really. it just grew in at the wrong angle#leaving me with a gaping wound in my mouth for two years (no really. it should have been removed immediately but shit happened and it took a#ridiculously long time until eventuality mid pandemic they were like 'yeah let's do that surgery you've needed for 2 years')#by the end i was on antibiotics like once a month. and the really nasty ones too. the swelling was so bad ppl kept thinking i had mumps#no! just my tooth again#honestly we went through a lot together (even it was the tooths fault) i hate to think of the fact that it was incinerated along with#everyone else's set aside body parts. it deserved better.#i feel something that tries to kill you that many times is owed a certain amount of respect. they robbed me of the chance to give it that
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uygfiug · 7 days
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hiii just wanted to say i hope your illness isnt treating you too badly and you feel better soon <33
thank you <33333 im feeling a bit better :) i have to go back to school tomorrow though :( which i am not at all looking forward to but if i want to stay home longer id need a doctors note and idk if im sick enough to go to the doctor for a note for one day yknow
#friday is the worst day out of the whole week too#i start with a class that has no translation i know of#its during religious classes meant mainly for non-religious people but its very very odd#its meant to teach you morals & all the teachers act as if you picked the class bc you want to & not bc you have no other option#we see the same things every year & its all very very surface level stuff#usually themes like identity social justice & such#but its all like “describe yourself in 5 words” “keep a diary for 12 weeks & let your teacher read it”#“did you know you can be transgender?? :0 here's a documentary on the luckiest trans person on earth”#“who has a supportive middle class or rich family a supportive social group and passes perfectly”#“look at this movie of a poor disabled child getting bullied and being just so sad. did this change your view towards disabled people?”#“philosophical question time! if i put an apple in front of you would you say it is dead or alive?”#“i heard someone call their friend dumb as a joke and now im going to talk for 2 full hours on the effect words can have”#“it is actually morally wrong to jokingly insult people btw”#its ridiculous and ive reached my limit honestly i cant not act annoyed anymore#ive started answering the 'who are you?' questions with stuff like someone who does not want to do this anymore#anyway sorry for ranting at you#i dont think i can even communicate how annoyed i am after having had this class since i was 6#ig it really needed to get out#you can just ignore all that#also its kind of like its own fake religion? like they have a 'church' and do certain events at certain ages?#fake religion for those who dont believe but still want to have those rituals to partake in ig#and ive heard a lot of bad things about them in certain regions#where i am theyre okay thankfully#you can ask to not have to do any of the religious classes#but our school really doesnt want you to so they make it as complicated as possible#so its filled with people who do not at all care about it or what the teacher is saying#people#jask#asks
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cranberrylane · 17 days
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i shouldn’t have checked my course list before bed and while i’m still on my break
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mythtiide · 6 months
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clawing at the walls FALKLER KISSING
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