#its kinda messy and i kinda hate it but whats new lol

[saintsinthecity]

god knows the world doesn't need another band...

[backofhismomsmercury]

spencer reid nsfw alphabet

( @backofhismomsmercury edition :3 )

18+ mdni. or don’t, what u view online is up 2 u.

this is like mostly softdom!spencer (what else is new)

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

tooth achingly sweet. like just so so so soo loving, he’d just lay with you and hold you and tell you how good you did/how proud he is, and how much he loves and appreciates you (im gnawing at the bars of my enclosure)

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

literally his brain lol, but also he likes his hair a lot, (even if he looks like he doesn’t brush it half the time lol) i think he likes having it played with/brushed/pulled (braided even..? he likes the feeling, finds it relaxing.)

he also likes his hands (he thinks they’re pretty?) i don’t think he knows why, but other people like them. which he doesn’t really understand because they’re always cold and not really soft because of how much he washes them. but he knows people like them, so he likes them. 

his fav on you is probs your legs/thighs. he likes having them wrapped around him, and he likes laying on them, he just thinks they’re pretty.

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

his own? he thinks it’s messy, gross, doesn’t like when it gets everywhere and probably hates even touching it. doesn’t like feeling sticky or sitting with it, he cleans it up right away. definitely doesn’t like the idea of you swallowing it. (he’d probs still let you if you REALLY wanted to.)

but yours..? ohhh he loves it. (still thinks its kindaaa gross, just cuz it is what it is.) but he’d like having it on him, he’d like watching you cum too, esp. on his hands or thigh.

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

LOVEEESSSS HAVING HIS HAIR PULLEDDDD. idk why i just feel this in my gut. not too rough though.. he’s sensitive :( but just a little bit. like while he’s going down on you or even just making out. doesn’t matter, just pull it. (now if we’re talking about sub!spencer OHHHH he loves it even more, he’ll deadass start crying, lol fucking loser.)

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

he’s not reeaallllyyy experienced, but he fucks from time to time, he knows what he’s doing. he’s smart, he’s read up on this shit. 

f = favorite position (this goes without saying)

the basics, and anything where he can see your face. i think he likes being underneath you. even if he’s acting more dominant, i think he still likes being in a more submissive position.

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he’s somewhere in between, but probs more serious. i think he gets in his own head and wants to make sure he’s doing everything right

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

verrrryyyyy well trimmed, he hates germs and feeling gross. i think he’d actually take a lot of time trimming it and making it feel and look clean, mostly for his own peace of mind.

also, i’d love to be like “he’s grown!!! he doesn’t care if his partner has hair!!!” but ngl that's just not possible because he actually thinks it's gross. just shave and he’ll be fine.

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

ohh this mf is sappy as FUCK. he’s such a romantic at heart, he’d take his time & go slow and it’d just be constant ‘i love you’s and praise.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

i think in the early seasons, he doesn’t do it a lot. when he does he just feels kinda bad about it. he knows it's not wrong, it just makes him feel weird. maybe as time goes on he does it more, i don’t really know tbh.

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

honestly i don’t think he’s really kinky. i think a lot of stuff would be hard for him to get into because he sees so much insane shit at work all the time (again, he’s sensitive) but like i said i think he lovvveeeess when you pull his stupid perfect hair. 

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

at home. his or yours, doesn’t matter. he wouldn’t do anything in public, i think he’s waaayyy too anxious for that. he’d be CONVINCED that someone would see you, and he’d be too nervous to even do a good job lol. i don't think he’d really care where at home, but he’d mostly like the bed or the couch, just somewhere where he can take his sweet time. i think he’d appreciate the shower from time to time though.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

literally anything you do. you. you. you!!! he just loves you!!!! he lovesss hearing your voice, especially when you’re talking about something you learned. i think spencer finds your intelligence so attractive because he was embarrassed about his own for a long time. (idk if that makes sense ??? but whatever)

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

i think the list of shit he’s not into is a lottttttt longer than the list of shit he likes lol. idk he’s just not really kinky, but he definitely wouldn’t be into feet, piss/scat, anal, anything age related, the list goes on.. i think he’s just very normal and he’s okay with that. 

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

not to be too controversial.. cause i do think he loves giving, but i think he LOVVVEEESS receiving. he’s a man after all, he would love some good head. he’ll always return the favor though.

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he’s too not rough and he never would be, he wouldn’t want to hurt you. i think his general pace is somewhere in between, not too slow, not too fast, but he’ll go faster if you ask him to.

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

he doesn’t like them. again, he likes to take his sweet time!!!

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

like i said, i don’t think he’s really kinky but i do think he’d be down to try some stuff. he just wouldn’t bring anything up, he’d wait for you to suggest whatever.

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

i deadass think he passes out after once round. i mean come on, he doesn’t work out, he’s a fucking pipe cleaner (with eyes.) he’s just not going for more than maybe 2 rounds max. i think he can maybe last a while during one round, but he gets sleepy fast. (aww :3)

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

i don’t think he cares for them. would probably be open though?

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

spencer doesn’t ever like to see you in and kind of discomfort, but he does like to tease quite a bit, and he knows you like it too. it never lasts too long though. (mostly because you beg and ask him so nicely, but also because it makes him feel kinda mean.)

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

oh he’s LOUDDD. especially sub!spencer. that mf whimpers and whines like there's no tomorrow. i think softdom!spencer is loud too, but he tries to be quieter cause he wants to hear you.

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

would let you peg him. wouldn’t ask though. (i will not be writing this, don’t ask lol)

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

LONG AND SKINNY!!!! just like the rest of his body. 

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

it’s not too high, but it’s definitely not low. just thinking about you makes him dizzy, but he has pretty good self control.

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

INSTANTLY. he’s a sleepy guy!!!!! spencer obviously doesn’t have a lot of physical energy to begin with so i think it’s quite exhausting for him. (but he loves it)

<3

thank you so much for reading!!! i had so much fun writing this!!!! :)

sorry i haven't been super active, i've been quite busy these last few weeks, but i'll be back with some new stuff soon i promise!! hope this can feed you guys until then.. lol :)))

[moonrisecoeur]

carnage — leon kennedy

author’s note: this is a secondary piece to apathy, another fic of mine!! that fic was mostly a vent fic, as i wrote it to kinda soothe myself and my own worries about how i feel as a person. however!! this fic was requested to be significantly darker and sadder, so if you don’t vibe with that, then i have good news for u !! leon and reader actually lived happily ever after in that universe!! the original intent of that fic is that the reader just has the self perception of a bad person but is actually not at all!! but this fic… is not that haha.. 

author’s note: if you see typos, no you don’t. they’re not real. this fic is... really messy. i'm kinda ashamed but i've been working on it so long that i need to just post it lol.

word count: 5.3k 

content: leon x reader, sub!leon, dom!fem!reader, angst angst angst, biting, hickieys, riding, choking, leon gets lightheaded and passes out, violent language. there's also a reference to a scene from apathy but from more of leon's recollection and memory! :)

warning: this fic is dark content, containing the topics and depictions of emotional abuse, manipulation, love-bombing ish, narcissistic reader, along with dubcon as reader doesn’t listen when leon expresses a boundary around choking. 

—

notes:

“you’re killing me here,” he says, a soft tone to his gravel-like voice. he is tired, exasperated. you are ripping him apart, stealing any sense of joy from his aching soul. he gives and gives and gives and he doesn’t know how much longer he has in him before you…  before maybe he admits that you were right. maybe you would ruin him.

you don’t know the half of it, you think. maybe i will really kill you one of these days.

—

leon is growing.. tired of you. 

not really. that’s a lie. he loves you dearly, so much that it kills him. you refuse to open up to him and he respects your boundaries. he just can’t keep begging you to let him in. he can’t do this forever. 

he’s not mad that you’re closed off, that you’re a loner and you’re introverted. he accepts you for what you are. he loves you regardless, but can’t you see this hurts him? can’t you at least make an attempt to make him feel better? pushing him away only hurts him, and why did you agree to a relationship if you knew that all you were going to do is hurt him? 

he supposes you warned him. that beautiful night that he convinced you to let him stay in your heart. he looks back at that moment, how you looked close to tears, pushing him back, telling him that you’ll ruin him and anything else you touch, and all he could think about is how badly he wanted to kiss you, to hold you close and wipe away the tears of frustration. he’s fond of that moment, when you decided to stay with him. when you said you’d take your time, move slowly, but you’d eventually let him in. he just had to be patient.

but its been months, and leon hates being wrong, but he might have been that night. 

–

leon’s always seen the good in you. he admires how gentle and sweet you are. you say it’s just a facade, and you know what? he doesn’t believe you. he knows you’re trying to protect yourself, but you’re lying. the version of you that you think is the real you is actually the facade. he knows it. he believes it, believes in you.

“i will begin to despise you if i let you in, you realize that, right?” you said to him that night, and he just shook his head, smiling. he adores you, almost amused at how you were making yourself out to be an awful monster in hopes he’d have understood that he could never fix you.

“and i will adore every moment of your resentment,” he said, and then followed it up with a whisper, under his breath, one you might not have heard, “i will let you ruin me.”

your touch is lethal, that much he’s certain of. he knows you’re not trying to hurt him, he’s convinced it's not in your nature to be intentionally cruel, “i won’t get better. i won’t change for you. this is what you’re stuck with.”

but what was he supposed to do? listen to you? heed your warning? he’s too foolish, too lovesick.

“it’s okay,” he reassures, reciprocating your harsh touch with his gentle one, fingertips making acquaintances with the way your skin feels in his grasp, the warmth of your touch. he’s starting to feel like this beautiful monster in front of him is a lot more human than she feels, “i like you as you are.”

-

leon doesn’t quite remember when you got so overbearingly possessive. maybe you were a little controlling, a little too demanding. it didn’t really make sense because anytime he tried to be possessive over you, you hated it. you certainly weren’t clingy. leon learned to control the instinct, the one that screamed in his head that you were his.  he gets it. you’re independent, not exactly into the jealous boyfriend type, sure. it only hurts his ego a little bit. 

he doesn’t really even remember when your behavior started going downhill. it was just like.. one day, he woke up, and you had left. not actually, you were just outside, but it feels symbolic somehow. he calls your name, and you don’t answer. he takes a couple steps closer, but he gets this eerie feeling he’s stepping into dangerous territory. he wonders if he should turn back, give you some time and let your soul come back to your body. 

“i don’t love you,” you said to him that day. 

it shattered him momentarily, but he knew your ways. he was aware of how you act and talk, your bluntness didn’t even surprise him anymore. he learned not to try and fight you on this stuff anymore.

that’s not true.. is what he wanted to say.

“…since when?” is what he actually ended up saying. 

you sigh, “i don’t know. i just woke up today and i realized i didn’t love you anymore.”

“do you… feel love for someone else?” he asks, but that’s not what he’s really asking. leon would never believe you if you said you cheated on him. you don’t even like people. you could count on your hand the amount of people you liked to talk to. 

leon maintains being one of them, of course. how could he believe that you made a connection with another man when you can only tolerate him? 

so, what he’s really asking is ‘do you… feel anything right now?’. sometimes emotions go away. sometimes you find yourself sitting outside in the early morning even though it’s cold and you’re shivering, wondering why you don’t love your boyfriend anymore. 

he puts his jacket over your shoulders. that feels symbolic somehow too.

it usually passes, but there’s something so final in your tone. like… for the first time, leon was worried you’re being truthful. he was worried you didn’t love him.

he had every reason to be. you used to pull away and then come right back to him, and now… you almost seem to resent him. crazy, it’s almost like you said this would happen. he hates that he was wrong about you, he hates that you were right. 

you flinch away when he touches you sometimes. your words are harsher than usual, more venomous, more lethal. you’re slipping away from him, you’re running away, and he’s begging for you to come back to him. just come back to him.

and even now, he looks at you and you aren’t the girl he fell in love with. but maybe you never changed. maybe he has just been blind. 

maybe you were exactly who you said you’d be. 

did you even want him? or would you get off anyway on taunting him?

did he mean anything to you?

-

“i am your… sculpture. your muse. i am everything you made me to be,” he says softly, one day during a vicious argument (only one of you is truly venomous), his eyes still red from the tears you made him spill, “if you do not like me, or if you don’t like what i’ve become, it is your own fault. i am only what you… did to me.”

he says pretty words that tug on your heartstrings if only to get some kind of empathy out of you. you’d normally scoff, spitting at him that he was a broken mess before you fixed him up, made him useful to somebody. 

“you act like i ruined you. like i made you worse. i did not drag you down with me. we were both broken. both disasters who just wanted to be loved,” you know you’re bullshitting just for pity points. doesn’t change the face that leon almost falters. almost gives in, lets you win. you were right, in a way. you were just being intentionally oblivious. 

“me wanting to be loved was… so much different. i wanted to be cherished and…held dear to you. you wanted a trophy that would make you feel better about yourself.”

“i am not the monster you say i am,” you scowl, finally he sees your harshness, your cruelty, and your dismissiveness in full force. how was he so blind?

“you’re right…” he says, “you… are so much worse.”

“then push me off of you, make me leave,” you groan, pinning him down like a caged animal. 

“i’m not… i..” i stutters, looking up the ceiling, “oh my god..”

“i am the only god you get to call out for,” you say as you press kisses to his collarbone, “i hold that power over you. i am your god.”

“i won’t worship you anymore,” he gasps, but his hands reach up to hold your hips, latching onto you for support and intimacy, like you are everything he’s ever needed and he despises you for it, “not what you’ve become. i can’t accept this…. version of you.”

“this is me, leon,” your voice is distant. resigned. he’s given up on you. and you’ve given up on him. 

so why do you demand his reverence so desperately? if you didn’t want him to run, why didn’t you treat him right in the first place?

“i love you, you know,” he says, tears pricking at his eyes, “i am just your design, molded to how you wanted me, but you designed me to love you… so that’s what i do.”

“i didn’t ask you to destroy yourself for me.”

“but i did anyway,” he closes his eyes, breathing ragged, “but i did and i did it because i loved you. i did it so that maybe one day you wouldn’t run away from me if i loved you too much. i.. i don’t act overbearing or clingy like i am inside because i am horrified of you leaving me. if i try too hard, if i want you too much, if am too desperate for your company… i will lose you. i can’t live with that.”

“then why do you call me worse than a monster? if you need me so badly?”

“because i..  i wanted you to destroy me and build me anew. recreate me in your image so you could have exactly what you wanted. make me exactly what you wanted!” he’s desperate for you to understand, but you never will. you don’t know desperation like he does, “i.. i just made the naive assumption that you would love your creation more than you loved what i used to be. that somehow.. if i let you ruin me, you’d finally love me.”

“i do love you,” you whisper, voice heavy with a tragedy you are all too familiar with.

“no… you don’t love anyone,” he bites, his teeth grazing his own lip like he would draw his own blood, “not even yourself. you’re incapable.”

“then it is your fault..” you say, cruelty laced into your voice, but how could you not be cruel when leon’s finally biting back? “you did this to yourself. you ruined yourself for someone you knew couldn’t love you.”

he feels broken. betrayed. how is this his fault? how could you hate him so intensely? how could you want him to suffer? do you enjoy watching him suffer? is that the only way he can make you happy anymore?

is that the only thing you want from him? his suffering? his tears?

does he give that to you? just… as one final way to make you happy? he’d ruin himself again and again to please you if you said so.

he’d give you anything.

you push him down, and he stumbles back onto the bed, looking up at you nervously. he notices the look in your eyes, the look of possession, you see him like an object or a toy. maybe he is. a trophy. you look at him like he’s something that makes you feel proud to carry around. leon kennedy. he’s a survivor, he's a killer, been through literal hell on earth. yet… your hands on him make him feel weak. he feels like he’s 21 again, on that bridge holding onto the last girl that dug her nails into his heart. 

“you’re fucking mine,” you growl in his ear, and he gasps and shudders, when did you get so close to him? you can’t put your hands on him like this, you can’t do this, his mind will go numb to the pain you cause and suddenly he’ll be held beneath you, inescapably yours. 

“you.. you need to… oh my god..” he was so close to saying it. so, so close. he tries so hard to push you away. to get you off of him. not in a way that he couldn’t stop you if he really didn’t want this. but that's just it; he’s trying to convince himself that he doesn’t want you for his own sake.

you make it so hard to hate you, truly. 

“you’re mine,” you growl in his ear, your nails digging into him like claws of a predator into its most delicious prey, “i own you. say that back to me.”

he cries like a baby, hating that he was naive enough to believe that the devil could love him, she could never love him and he could never please her enough to make her stay, “i’m yours, and.. and you own me,” he says, sniffling. he buries his head into the pillow. you push him, hold him down like he’s your captive. he might as well be. 

“and that means i own your pretty body, doesn’t it?” you smirk, god this control over him has always been addicting. you.. really own him.

“y-yeah..” 

“that means i can do whatever i want with you, doesn’t it? i can break you in every way possible, like a girl scribbling on and cutting the hair of her barbies. you don’t exist outside of me, outside of my pleasure.”

-

“fuck, you’re so hot when you’re sad..” you groan as you press kisses to his hip, and he didn’t even realize you had gotten his shirt off and his pants pulled down. he must have dissociated again. he sighs, upset but unable to will himself up to stop you.

at least you’re trying to please him, he supposes. your hands wandering all over him makes him feel alive, but he wonders if you’re imagining wrapping your hands around his throat and squeezing until he stops moving. maybe you would take a liking to killing. 

or maybe it’s just because it’s leon. leon is your weak, pathetic boyfriend that you’ll play with like a ken doll until you’re bored of him, and then you’ll either put him out of his misery or leave him to rot. maybe murder is mercy for him. the worst part is he looks just like a ken doll, blue eyes and blonde hair, except he’s a bit more broken. a bit scarred. damaged. is that why you don’t want him? he’s not perfect enough?

and then it happens. 

everything stops, his breath catches in his chest, he flinches almost like he’s surprised you still had it in you, but you kiss him. it’s not possessive and dark and commanding like he expects, like he’s begun to tolerate, but it’s you. it’s your softness, hidden underneath, that gentle lover that he misses so desperately. she’s back. she’s real again. 

you rest your forehead against his as you pull away from the kiss, leon chasing your lips briefly before remembering this is your moment, at your pace, but he’s looking up at you like you put the stars in the sky, his eyes sparkling with magic and passion and hope he hasn’t felt in a while. 

“come back to me..” he whispers gently, “i miss you.”

“i.. know,” you frown, and leon can tell you feel guilty. you are the monster in his nightmares, but you are also his guardian angel, “i told you, leon-”

“i know you did, i- i don’t want to fight with you right now,” his eyes flutter closed as you press your lips to his forehead, god he feels so cared for in moments like these.

but he knows they’re not real. he knows this version of you isn’t real, that your love is a false pretense and he is a fool for being swept off his feet by such an obvious facade. a monster that loves you is still a monster.

and leon knows it. knows that you love him, despite his insecurities and doubts. maybe it was safer or easier to ponder whether or not you loved him, to listen to you when you said you didn’t, instead of realizing that you did… just not enough.

he feels your grasp on his waist, the way your hands and mouth ravage his body. he knows you’re possessive, but it still shocks him how truly cruel you are. 

“please…” he whimpers, “be gentle with me..”

“ah, leon.. survived the apocalypse but can’t handle his girlfriend biting him a little too hard..” you chuckle, and it’s soft and you’re being sweet with him again and everything is okay. 

“don’t be like that, come on. it still hurts,” his voice is shaky, making you smile. such a sadist.

“don’t be such a baby,” you tease.

“just- okay, fine, but i don’t want any hickies or bite marks or anything. n-not anywhere visible, at least,” he stumbles when your fingertips drag across his collarbone, “please, baby. i need to hide them, my… my coworkers will get worried.”

he sees it in your eyes. mercy. begging always saved him.

“hmm… open your mouth,” you say, and he’s not even trying to follow the command, but the surprises causes his jaw to drop slightly, and you lean closer, before spitting directly into his mouth. 

your saliva tastes like your favorite flavor of gum, and leon smiles as he recollects that fact. it’s sweet of you to only do something like that to him when it wouldn’t be entirely unpleasant. maybe you didn’t think it out that far, but he likes to think you did. he wants to think you were considerate. he groans as he swallows it without even having to ask, almost sounding dehydrated, like you are his lifeline. 

your intentions, while a tad bit humiliating, are not cruel. but again, you’re showing possession. leon is yours to do whatever you please with. it’s marking your territory, in a way.

“thank you..” he shudders, hands clutching your arms, keeping you close. he’s not truly grateful, but he’s learned his place. 

“you’re welcome,” your tone is condescending, but leon’s thoughts are too far away to realize that. all he knows how to do anymore is be obedient.

a brief silence settles for a moment, as you rest atop of him, gazing at him like a predator does their next meal. 

“do you… want to fuck me now?” he asks awkwardly, cringing at how completely uncool he is. 

maybe someone else would laugh at his lack of charisma, but you just smile softly. 

“is that what you want?” in truth, he does want this. he does want you. and he prides himself on giving you whatever you want, everything, absolutely anything. it’s too bad all you know how to do is take.

he sighs, feeling heavy-hearted and drained. he can’t pinpoint why, “i love you. do whatever you want.”

you blink, and he wonders for a moment if you feel guilty again, but part of him can tell you’re not.

you narrow your eyes. he seems.. broken down by this point. honestly, ‘broken down’ might not exactly be the right wording. ‘broken in’ might be more appropriate. like a pair of boots that are only comfortable once you rough them up a little. 

it’s at that moment that he realizes the softness he saw in you just now is fading away rapidly, replaced again by the monstrous beast that is his darling lover. at least she’s familiar now. it’s his fault. you are exactly who you said you were. he should have believed you. 

he thinks this is it, that this is the last time he’ll get to have you before you leave him. you steal all of his sunshine like a parasite, robbing him of all of his life energy and taking it for yourself. the only way you can feel whole anymore is to take leon apart and use him for everything his mortal body and soul has to offer. 

he remembers being the light in your life, cheering you up when you were down. you were his moon, and he shined his light onto you like the sunlight gives way to moonlight. 

but that isn’t real anymore. you aren’t the damaged but loving person he used to know. 

“are you… going to leave after?” he asks. he’s pouting ever so slightly but he doesn’t realize it.

you just gaze at him, eyes soft but knowing, and he can’t help but crying. he tries so hard not to be clingy or ‘too much’. makes himself less and less to make you comfortable. 

“please don’t leave me,” he cries, “please, i can’t bear to think about it. my… my love, please..”

part of him feels like if he lets you leave again, you won’t ever come back.

he can’t understand why he’s so desperate for you to stay. he feels your hand around his neck as you lean in close to kiss his shoulder, you don’t squeeze but your presence is known and feared just like you like it, your other hand falling lower and lower until… 

leon can’t fathom just how wrong he was about you, about everything in general, but what hurts the most is putting the timeline together. it starts with him realizing he loved you. you realizing you loved him. the gentle, sweet months he got to spend with you. sure, you were unconventional, but he’s not the nuclear family type either. 

to him realizing you didn’t love him, actually. 

to then realizing that you did love him, but not enough to change for him. that one hurt the most.  knowing that you’ll always choose your comfort over him.

and to finally coming to terms with the fact that your love is strong and real but it is rotten, that you and your heart are corrupting him and made something tragic out of him. 

he sighs, letting it all happen. he might as well let you have what you want. he feels your hand rubbing against the fabric of his pants over his crotch, teasing him. 

he’s almost happy you’re using him one last time for sex. it’ll give him something to distract his mind from the sadness that’s creeping into his heart.

“i think… my boy needs to feel good.. so he can stop thinking sad thoughts..” your free hand pulls his sweats down and feel him up over his boxers, and he hates that he’s getting hard. that he likes this. he likes being taken by the big, bad monster.

he lets you touch him, lets you strip him down both metaphorically and physically, until he’s bare, a blank canvas ready to be ruined. he has literal scars from bites that drew blood, teeth bared into his skin like you’re trying to consume him alive. 

maybe you are.

this isn’t intimate sex between two lovers. this is carnage. this is ravaging, taking what is rightfully yours. it may not be violence in its usual form, but you are no less deadly. 

you really can’t help yourself when you have the urge to grab his throat, can you? hold his life in your hands, why don’t you?

he wants to make love to you, to hold you close like he used to, fuck you until your mind let go of its need to be in control, to be apathetic and composed and cold and just let you be the soft soul he knows is in there, fucking somewhere in there. 

instead of that, he gets something completely different. claiming. ownership. you mark your territory like an violent dog, biting and scratching and ruining him until everyone else in his life got the hint that he wasn’t allowed to play with anyone else. 

you’re violently possessive, that’s the only way he can put it. and even now, when he should be kissing you and moaning in your ear about how good you feel around his cock, how perfect you are for him, how he wants to be good for you, exactly what you want in your man, he.. can’t. 

all he can do is whine and whimper like an injured puppy. 

instead of kissing you, he’s begging for mercy. instead of making love to you, he’s lost in a daze of pain, mixed in with the pleasure of his cock buried inside of you. your teeth fucking hurt when you bite him like a damn vampire. just like the last time you were in a possessive mood, you bite him hard enough to make him bleed.

“i… i love you,” he whimpers after the fact, his voice is shaky like he’s desperate, “i love you but you’re… i don’t like it when you’re like this”

“who do you belong to?” you ask, suddenly. 

it feels unrelated, but even though leon’s eyebrows furrow at the question, he responds, like it’s an instinct, or rather more it’s a response he’s gives hundreds of times, “you. it’s.. always gonna be you.”

“… i love you too, you know. sometimes i think you don’t believe me,” rich coming from the ‘i don’t love anybody’ girl, he thinks, “but i do. i’m always gonna love you. you just don’t like the way i love you.”

“because the way you love me is killing me.”

“i’m not a killer. you asked me to let you in. this is the real me, leon. if you don’t like what you see… then don’t look.”

“i do but i-”

“you wish you were the exception to the rule. you want to be the reason i change. honestly, leon? i’ll never get better. and i told you that months ago, but you never listened. you thought you could fix me.”

“you aren’t broken,” he whispers.

“then why do you insist on changing me?” 

he scoffs, “that’s rich coming from you.” he knows you’ll get annoyed at him for his sass, but he can’t help it. you’re a violent hypocrite and he adores you, but he can’t ignore the irony of you feeling forced to change.

you tighten your grip on his neck, and he should have told you months ago but he hates being choked. brings up old memories that he’d rather not remember. he doesn’t really know why he lets you do it, why he tolerates it. maybe it’s because you seem so pleased to be in control of his life like that. he can’t afford to piss you off too much. you might like murder a little too much. 

“why do you insist on fixing me?” you ask again. loosing up your grip to let him talk.

“i… i never wanted to fix you. i just wanted you to love me. i wanted… to make you happy.”

he lets out the cutest gasp when you finally use your free hand to pull his cock free, not even bothering to pull his boxers down all the way.

“awh, you’re still so soft, baby. do you not want me?” you taunt him, and he quickly tries to reassure you, shaking his head. 

“n-no! i do! i want you, just.. just give me a second..” he stutters helplessly, but his voice gives out when you lean down to kiss his hip bone, and then your lips trail down lower and lower, adoring his thighs with the remnants of your lip gloss, “oh god…”

he’s pretty. pretty like a prey animal. 

you decide that maybe its not fair to him that he’s almost butt naked and you’re still fully clothed, so you undress too. leon appreciates that you do it to please him. 

“i… you’re so fucking pretty,” he whimpers, begging you to kiss him again. can he just pretend like you’re making love? instead of… whatever this is? 

his cock isn’t super big, so it’s not hard to fit inside, especially since he’s just barely getting hard. seeing your body was enough to get him going. he likes everything about you. every beauty mark or mole or freckle, every scar and each divot and curve, he adores you.

your smile isn’t appreciative. it is greedy. avaricious. you.. need more of him. 

“you feel… so perfect inside of me..” you groan, the grip on his neck tightening as he obediently rocks his hips up to fuck you. his hands grasp at the sheets, white knuckles displaying how tense he feels. 

a shaky, almost fearful moan escapes his throat, “please.. please don’t squeeze that hard.”

again, leon doesn’t like being choked.. so many times he’s almost been killed, and yet… you don’t seem to care. you don’t squeeze hard enough to make him pass out, but he’s getting lightheaded, so much so that you’re having to pick up the slack of bouncing on his cock since he’s unable to keep pace. he just lays there helplessly while you steal away his life.

“leon..” you tease, holding in a giggle, and trying to stir his attention, but his eyes get cloudy and he can’t focus on you, can’t look you in the eye meaningfully.

all he can respond with is a half-hearted attempt at a ‘huh?’. it’s honestly kind of cute how easily fucked out he gets. you ease up, and he breathes deeply for the first time in a couple minutes, gasping out ‘thank you’s like you just saved his life instead of almost killing him. 

“i’m sorry you got stuck with someone like me, baby,” you murmur, you’re not really sorry. tears fall down his cheeks, and you lean down to lick them up like a dog drinks her water. he cringes, disgusted at the feeling, but you own him so intrinsically.. how could he ever stop you from doing exactly what you wanted to him? this was your world. he just lived in it.

—

leon wakes up the next morning, expecting to be alone in your shared bedroom after you had left. you’re not completely awful, you clean him up and bandage any cuts after you finished with him… and leon realizes he doesn’t exactly remember anything after you choking him a little too aggressive, he must have passed out. did he cum even while unconscious? he’s almost impressed.

he doesn’t remember you leaving, just the looming thought in his mind that you will leave. there was no doubt about it.

you’re not there, clearly, and he doesn’t hear you anywhere in the bathroom or in the kitchen. the silence is deafening. 

maybe you’re on a walk to clear your head? 

maybe… you’re really gone.

but your stuff is still at home, so he thinks you might still stay. he cant decide if that’s a good thing. sure, he can’t exist without you, so codependent it’s pathetic, but… you’re not exactly good for him. maybe it’d do him some good to pull himself together and get over you. if he even can.

he loves you. helplessly. desperately. but you love his pain more than you love him. that’s the truth and there’s no denying that. you are.. exactly who you said you’d be. it’s his fault for not believing you.

[dilfhos]

sooo this is gonna be a messy rant on the observations ive made between different writer communities, blog interactions and overall “status”. just silly little things I’ve noticed in my 4+ years being on tumblr btwn 2 diff blogs. and this is about no one specific, a very generalized post so if you find urself offended i honestly dont know what to tell you?? :o do better ig. & if you relate, i feel for you. TLDR @/end.

i dont like interacting/ building connections with people but not for the reasons ppl think. im not stuck up or pretentious or weird or anything. just another anime-enjoyer who loves to write in her free time. nobody special by a longshot!! i enjoy writing, always have since before i was a teen. (wasn’t always ff tho!).

but over the years ive just noticed fandom writing has its gritty sides that no one talks about often and its no mystery why so many prolific/ popular writers deactivated, me included. i had some shitty experiences and have seen friends go bc of it.

firstly, I’ve noticed, once you start interacting and building friendships with people, it’s easier to see the bigger perspective of where ppl stand and the blatant hierarchy of friendships and groups. same applies to that outside. like its literally just me n’ my bsf then my acquaintances bc mfs be weirddd omg its like cults or something. like thats why initially I didn’t interact w/anyone starting on my new blog. that n’ fear of drama following from my last blog ugh. ‘Cept the few i’ve met on my old blog (like my wifey)

not to mention i have bad anxiety. and sometimes im cue-deaf. i dont always pick up what people put down and vice versa and it makes me conscious in a lot of my interactions. so a part of me doesn’t want to interact at all to avoid all awkwardness and possible miscommunications. that’s not to say i don’t notice subtle changes in interactions after one situation / conversation or so forth, that in myself or witnessed between other ppl. (im perceptive, just not that good conversationalist lol. like i really have to try.)

but then…if you don’t interact with people on here, your chances of building an audience or a reader base is slim to none. the likelihood of developing relationships is zip. because you’re already perceived and pegged as just another tumblr writer. pause. to clarify, a writer who doesn’t want any recognition or interactions from mutuals or new friends. or just a lonely writer? a introverted, lonely writer. which leads to little to none interactions (anons, reblogs, moots —exposure.)

so then its like you’re kinda placed btwn a rock n a hard place. and there’s absolutely no problem with that! in fact this is the best part—meeting friends and like-minded people! people that make being online all the more worth it right? thirsting over fictional characters and sharing in each other’s works!

but you have to be in specific circles it seems. but then you can’t imply that you want to be in those circles bc then you’re desperate.

but well, then you cant purposefully want to be independent or be on your own or else you’re a hater, hypocrite or stuck up. not to mention, no one will reblog your stuff lol. no one will interact fr, and you’re friendless essentially. and god forbid if you disagree on something as if opinions don’t exist btw! then you’re being ganged up on. (like omg grow up!)

but then if you reach out you’re seen as trying to wedge in or kiss ass? you interact and follow and you’re ignored or left hanging? (bc im gonna touch your hand when i say this—it never gave fan, your majesty of horny nerds) and this is about ALL the writing communities and fandoms—spicy content, black content and dark content. ALL.

yet no one wants to talk about the pregnant elephant in the room—bias. and favoritism. also people seem to have a hard time being direct with how they’re feeling toward/about someone ( in a good or bad way) which in turn leads to a lot of miscommunication and subliminal attacks. (not to mention hate anons? one of my moots just had her inbox flooded w/them recently, ew.)

you can lead a horse to water AND you can write a 500-word essay on the observations made on tumblr writers as a whole. (a long ass post on the truth on behalf of those feeling this too)

also, slapping a HEY LOOK AT ME! IM A WRITER WHO WANTS INTERACTION AND FRIENDS! on a blog is frankly embarrassing. it shouldn’t even take all that seeing how easy it is for others wanting the same thing.

or doing less to achieve the same result.

not to mention, yall shit on ppl who essentially feel this way altogether bc you peg them as sb who doesn’t “try” or just jealous when their own works are phenomenally written themselves. ive seen it. and ive lived it. never gave jealousy baby.

at the end of the day, we’re all writers— either longterm or hobbyists. (personally, im longterm) self-indulgent or not! and its absolutely amazing when people are being fair in how they spread love and feedback to their writers.

Secondly, its not news that people have to want to reblog your fics so that their followers can reblog, so they can reblog, and their followers can reblog and so forth. but ppl honestly dont care atp bc once they’ve already read it, they owe you nothing. and apparently asking for reblogs is crass and bold. (imma do it anyway) but putting your very all into a story just to turn and see a half-thought out hc soaring 3k in 2hrs and 5k in a day — you have to stfu, open your ass and take it. keep it cute!

you’re getting fucked after all!!

because if you complain—you’re just jealous and lazy and uncreative!! and i hate that to seem like a writer worth a damn, you have to change up your writing style every two weeks to fit in with trending waves.

“no more poetic long fics, nobody’s into that! short, snappy slutty shots are all the rage!” “ppl are only into these specific tropes but you can’t exceed 2k words!” “only add trending characters to these hcs! ppl love them only!” “don’t write too much about a specific character or else ill unfollow you!” its exhausting.

i am well within my right as a literary artist to desire more feedback and interaction on anything i put out. period. and you are too! 🫵

God, im tired of that stupid, ‘you have to enjoy your writing for yourself and not worry about notes’ line. i do love my writing! don’t get me wrong there’s nobody id rather write like if not myself fr. not to mention the inspiration i draw from famous literary authors. however, i would love feedback and the same energy that i see with others in my same caliber.

and when i see others that didn’t even try fr—its a slap in the face to put it bluntly.

i can want silly little comments and notes about something i cherish and put out for that reason and yall aren’t gonna make me feel bad about it. sorry! like yall really be making people feel shitty for wanting the same type of interactions you get! especially when its harmless, bye asf. nb want to recipe to ur peach cobbler b!

the only one giving push back are those appointed popular /top blogs n’ cliques tho. now personally, i honestly dgaf if you have 20 followers or 25k, writing is writing and if its good you should want to support it regardless of following count/interaction right?

unfortunately, and quite unsurprisingly its not the case for the rest of this hellhole lol. there’s always gonna be some “big blog” in any part of tumblr or any social media for that matter.

but when the sole purpose being on a site like tumblr to write is mainly exposure, then it just makes it ten times worse especially if it seems that these blogs are steady at the top of every. single. tag. and listen, i know how initially stupid that sounds but when you’ve picked up on patterns for as long as i have, well iykyk.

so imma be real bc no one else will, half of the posts that yall see with 25k notes have alr been done. just different characters, different words, different dialogue. And 8/10 its been done by sb who only received 100 notes. Thats the evil part. whats more is that it lacks the creativity the one post with 100-300 notes is filled with completely.

POP QUIZ! what post would readers be more inclined to read? — one that says 10k (ohhh that must be popular!) or the one with only 150 (oh i guess nb really liked that one) that no one is even willing to reblog for MORE. and BOOM. now yall wonder why so many great writers LEAVE, its a fucking joke.

so unfortunately its no longer only about or only on readers anymore. its about who you know and who you know is willing to support your fr. who is willing to REBLOG your fics for their friends and followers, so that their friends and followers can reblog. to fit in you actually have to get in these days and it makes it all less enjoyable. makes it a chore and if you aren’t ‘doing it right’ ultimately it makes you feel shitty about your writing. (Please don’t, you are doing amazing. its the platform.)

it makes people not want to jump into writing. it pushes away those who actually want to join writing communities and meet people without feeling like they have to jump thru hoops to thrive or worse—live in other ppls shadows. and then it deters those from speaking up in fear of being shut down by bigger groups. ive seen it happen time and time again.

lastly, and this is the juiciest part! you absolutely cannot say anything about any of this bc you’re complaining and a fisher just looking for attention and not someone who just want things to be fair all over. play the game, right? ( wrong. and if this is your logic, you suck! )

its no longer about making flashy banners and pretty themes. its no longer about how many clever directory links you add or how many games you initiate on your blog or whether or not you’ve reblogged your fic three times already. its about your “friends”, other mutuals, and blogs willing to support you too. not just the audience. audience gonna do what they want regardless. reblog, don’t reblog, whatever. “at least ive read it right?” but everyone knows this. duh! but it’s obvious who doesn’t care as long as they’re on top of that tag! its admirable in a way but it sucks for those wanting to break out and build some kind of readerbase and/or make friends.

TLDR; people need to stop being bias and be fair and open lol. stop picking favorites and share the love all around. you see another person writing your favorite character or trope, give them a fucking chance and reblog, regardless if they’re in your ‘circle’ / radar or not. regardless if you know them or not. hell, let them put you on to a new fandom. bc writing is writing and making new moots and finding new fics seem to be what everyone loves to showcase until its time to actually do it. no wonder people get discouraged to make friends and write, yall treat it like some kind of secret society when its supposed to be fun💀 not a competition. (yall need to dead this clique-y shit. )

[berensteinsmonster]

. girls who hold forbidden dark powers. girls who are distressed girl who are cringe.. look up those words n youll see her... Shower Curtain Wizard

and shes like sooooooooo weird..... i lvoe her ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

(reblogs help my posts be seen :) (more lore in readmore but its messy lol)

shes like one of the migrating jellyfish in woy but gained sentience somehow and went to magic school to learn magic. but then she learned too much magic and accidently fused her body with WATER MANIPULATION POWERS🌊🌊🌊 that gave her new arms and eyes. The bowl on her head helps her contain it

She's ranking below the Top 50 of the villain leaderboards but that doesn't mean she isn't dangerous. She just doesn't do the conquering planets often

shes actually like. normal

shes so boring and normal and thats why ppl think shes weird

i ehmmmm i wanna write more lore abt her and emperor awesome

her lore is kinda unfinished but the main idea of it is what i said above abt her gaining sentience and absorbing magic into herself ^^

i like to think that before she went to magic school she and emperor awesome used to be.... BEST FRIENDS!!!!

i like to think she and emperor awesome used to be GEEKS they used to be NERDS and emperor awesome wore braces

they were like Those Two Guys in school everyone hated them but they didnt care lol

also shes trans so she used to be a boy. i think she may have transitioned after entering magic school becuz until now Emperor Awesome only remembered her when he was in his brace-face phase and basically never contacted her after that cuz they interests change and they felt like they didnt know eahc other anymore :(

. also shes trans becuz ehmm yipepeee lalallalaa whooooo!!! ^_^

after she left for magic school they basically never met eachother again until now in what id imagine to be season 3

shes basically like omg hi friend its so good to see you again :)))) and hes like OH FUCK MY LAME PAST. and i think that like he finds it weird at first. not because shes a girl now, but because she still acts the same as she did when they were best friends and that also means shes still the weird kind of kid hes grown to be ashamed of now.

so while shes one of the rare amount of girls that emperor awesome actually treats normally he tries to keep it low profile with how he used to be lame like her while shower curtain wizard is just confused about why emperor awesome acts so distant to her... sad :(

character development is probably needed here for them to repair their friendship and become buddies again yay :)))) wander would be of help here

OH ALSO

she does not live in the galaxy that woy season 1-2 takes place in. its like. just a galaxy next to it

most of my ocs live in that galaxy and were probabily next on lord dominators to-destroy-list if wander and co didnt stop her

She is however on the Star Force Enforcement Force's To-Stop list because even if she hasnt reached her full potentional, her ability to manipulate ALL kinds of water (Orble juice, orange juice, planet water and so on (but not veins)) make her note-worthy threat to their self-righteous quest to deliver justice

i prommy ill write abt it in a text post another time i think ive gone on long enough

[queer-arsonist-horror]

i was tagged by @curlytemple who im still so flatted I'm mutuals with

Im so sorry yall this got way to long

1. 3 ships:

im all about the polycules baby

Riverdale (taking about 4 ficd cause most of the mutuals im tagging are riverdale girlies)

@hahahahawhat @greatkateweathermachine

@wolfofansbach @thejugheadparadox these r just my current favs buy like all these writers are crazy talented and I have a few of Kate's story's saved for when I have a bad day.

All of peters love interests are in a tragicy messy polycule (I limited it to one comic ship cause this isn't my main)

@bipeterparker is insane for this but it'd absolutely perfect

@thisisallthehattersfault s is probably the least explore axis of the core 4 but it's got me to obsessed over there dynamic

2. first ever ship:

ive always been into fairytales/mythology and watching labyrinth in preschool shaped me on a fundermental level. Sarah x Jareth which is delightfully dark

Anything but @viciously-witty is spectacular but

Has been the object of my obsession for 4 years now so I can't recommend it enough

If ypu don't mind reading potentially abandoned fic and maybe had a Hannibal phase I'm begging you to read @sherylholmes 's criminally underrated fic

And if u can't do unfished fics then check out @eddywoww 's new story who exclusively writes steddie and got me to stop hating Eddie Munson for people not into bdsm or Xmen wearing hellfire shirts in puplic

Tho my new ao3 account history lists https://archiveofourown.org/series/928122

Which I beated for like a week before I was homeless lol.

I used to be hella into lilith and this was a fic about her set in thr universe of the Lucifer TV show with pge triangle with her chole and Lucifer.

And cause of the rpf discourse being a thing again I have to mention my first band ship murdoc x 2d from gorillaz and the mandatory fic rec is @selkiefluff s fabulous story

Not only is it top tier smut but it has a time travelling trans character and its not even OOC which is insanse and its finished!!!

3. last song:

I've been dancing to metal and 2000s pop with my dad but now I've got my amv playlist playing @philcollinsenjoyer 's riverdale amv of Genghis Khan

It's also on their tumblr if u search amv on thier pages I can't recommend thier videos enough

4. last movie: watched bound again whcih is a masterpiece all lesbians would experience but the last new film was Chopping Mall which I found via @greatkateweathermachine 's letter box which is wonderful especially their riverdale list

5. currently reading:

what we are fighting for a radical collective manifesto edited by Frederick campagna and Emanuel campiglio

I saw David Graeber (my beloved) was included and had to borrow it. (If Ur interested into money or anthropology I can't recommend his book debt the first 500 years enough my dyke primary school tea her gave it to me to read when I way ahead in maths and i used it years later to radicalise half my econ class

6. currently watching:

rewatching mtvs faking the messiest dyke drama ever. It's definitely camp and it's kinda self aware bur it's also horrible no good. It's what the Twitter gays wished dear Evan hasten was like watch the first episode (it's only 20min) and if knowing what they are faking it's not hilarious and heart breaking stop your gonna hate the show if not you've got your new favourite trash show.

New show is season 3 of chucky which only has half a season airing cause of the strikes so I'm trying to stretch it out but I will say jennifer tilly is a delight as always.

7. currently consuming:

norco chocolate milk its 2am my last meal was went I went down to the river to read and got a blue cheese woodfire pizza

8. currently craving:

my hot tub but I'm still waiting on my pool filters its been 30c (86f) the last 4 days I've been home and I got heatstroke on Sunday on the 10min walk to the river and fainted + threw up which wasn't sexy rip

Tagging beloved mutuals

I know like 3 of you follow me on my main not this side blog but like I reblog all Ur posts here anyway so we r mutuals even if tumblr doesn't classify us that way. In my heart of hearts I know its true

Feel free to ignore or let me know if u don't want want be tagged in the future

@mothmanchronicler @gay-archie @hispanicsabrinaspellman @betty-amorous @archangelarchie @thedumbdemon @2jug2head @rozmiatacz @eastvillages

Non riverdale babes

@dragonflylady77 @cuddle---buddy @mercurysystem @every-dayiwakeup @orangerosebush @kamiyuart

[ladytauria]

👻 What is one WIP you think you may never pick back up?

🤔hmmm

so in recent years i've mostly stopped posting wips bc, despite the best of intentions i have a hard time finishing them lol

buuut. looking through my drafts...

there are a couple i don't see myself working on again any time soon lmao.

two in particular stand out. one is a selkie!jason wip & the other is one that was, according to my notes, inspired by a fancomic. past me did not think to leave a link to this comic, bc she's helpful like that <3

the latter wip takes place at a winter gala. tim is by himself, keeping an eye on the others & making his rounds through the gala, checking off a mental list of people to talk to. he's kinda starting to flag, though; keeping up his timothy drake-wayne personality through so many conversations is kinda taking a toll on him.

and as he's mid conversation with one of the people on his list--

“Excuse me.” Tim catches a whiff of expensive cologne, chased by gunpowder, smoke, and leather. A warm hand finds the small of his back, and—almost without his own permission—he finds himself relaxing into it. “I hate to interrupt, but—” Jason steps into view, dressed to the nines in a perfectly fitted tux and deep red waistcoat. His hair is artfully messy; a roguish smile on his face. “Could I have this dance?” He cocks his brow. Tim knows him well enough to see the nerves—the sheepishness in his eyes, the way he braces himself for rejection. He doesn’t have anything to worry about. Tim is helplessly, hopelessly endeared. He barely manages to tamp down on his grin, keeping his answering smile something more polite.

their relationship at this point is still new and tentative--it started when one of their cases crossed, and each realized the other was working a lot of hard, dangerous cases with little to no back up. which was fine when they were doing it, but not so fine that the other is. u know. the usual :P

so they start working together. mostly. but then jason gets injured doing something dumb, without calling for tim like he should have. and tim reminds him that they'r partners. the whole point of them teaming up was that neither of them is supposed to be fighting alone anymore.

which---when tim asks why jason is at the gala, when he hates them & also has no reason to be there since he's not been legally resurrected... jason tells him more or less the same thing.

"we're partners, right? no more fighting alone."

and then tim kisses him in front of everyone, not caring even a little bit that it will probably be all over the society pages the next morning <3

but! i have two issues with this fic. issue a) writing the gala. and then issue b) it almost feels like it should be a scene in a longer work, so i can work that backstory in? but i don't... really have a plot. i could probably make it work anyway, but! i dunno. right now too many other wips have my attention so even if i don't abandon this one entirely, it will be a long time before i pick it back up.

and then the selkie!jason wip is p easy to explain. i had an idea for a single, solitary, poignant scene and utterly NO ideas for the plot that would lead UP TO that lovely scene.

so.

here's the scene, which would, theoretically, be the closing lines:

Jason runs his thumb over his coat, the leather of its disguise buttery soft, and watches Tim. He’s utterly at ease on Jason’s couch, scrolling through his phone, one arm dangling off the armrest. Jason swallows, stomach twisting with nerves. He takes a breath—in through the nose, out through the mouth. Then, he strides forward, clenching his coat a bit tighter. He kneels in front of Tim, capturing his attention. His phone falls to the side as Tim’s brows furrow. Before he can ask what Jason is doing, Jason unfurls his coat, wrapping it around Tim’s shoulders. His eyes grow wide. “Ja— wh—“ Jason can feel the heat on his face. Knows he has to be pink, at the very least. But he doesn’t stop, tugging Tim forward and into the briefest, chastest kiss before resting their foreheads together. “Caught you,” he murmurs. The smile he receives is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

context? ur guess is as good as mine <3

[ fanfic writer ask game ]

[rainparadefromhell]

My thoughts on season 3 of Never Have I Ever

SPOILERS AHEAD !

* author's note : it's long what can you do, i have an obsessive personality

• Things I disliked in no particular order

1. The pacing of this season.

The pacing of this season

The pacing-

I don't know what happened this season but it felt like someone pushed my head into a blender. Many things were so glossed over, I was actually baffled. People kept getting into relationships and breaking up like it was nothing and all sense of direction was lost. Everything felt like a fever dream. Ben and Aneesa break up. She cries one time, kisses Fabiola and now they are in a relationship only for that to not work out and Fabiola gets into another relationship (at this point i forgot Eve existed). No one reacts to anything, things just happen so there is no chance for the viewers to get attached to any new storylines/couples. Just borderline bad writing in terms of pacing.

2. What they've done to Aneesa's character

At the end of the show, the person I felt bad for the most was Aneesa. The writers just would not give her a chance. She wasn't a real character. She barely had any personality beyond being a plot device for multiple characters and getting into meaningless relationships every 5 minutes (the show does have a problem with doing this to all characters tbh). I wanted to know Aneesa better (I hoped for a pov episode) but all I've got was her getting left for another person in not one but TWO relationships? And they made her kinda not even care about it. It just wasn't realistic and I hated it.

3. Des.

Listen, I don't have anything against his character. Because his character doesn't exist. Des got, as well as all the new characters - Aneesa'd. His sole purpose was to give Devi an Indian boyfriend (which is fine). But he was just so.....unnecessary?? I'm sorry but while watching every scene him and Devi shared, I was begging for literally any other character to show up. Same with his two friends (extras) that had about two lines each. His and Devi's relationship, in my opinion would've been just fine as a fling not a real relationship. And it lasted SO. FUCKING. LONG. Why, just why were they wasting time (that could have been given to flesh out old characters) on something everyone and their mother KNEW wouldn't work out or have any meaningful addition to the show. Other things got sidelined, that's why I hated this storyline.

4. And save the worst for last. All of Devi's romantic relationships in s3

Oh God, here we go.

I understand that Devi is a teen girl that just wants to date boys, have fun, be in love. I really do. But as writers, it is the nhie showrunners' job to make this enjoyable for the viewers. And it worked, the past 2 seasons it really did. Team Paxton, team Ben, team Devi.... We've all had something to enjoy. So throwing in another boy - no, two actually (the guitar player she kissed isn't a big part of the show so I don't really care) made me so angry. They've disturbed a sort of a balance between silly/fun the show had with like 3 or 4 love interests all in your face at the same time so they all started to look kinda.... unimportant (except for Ben, but I am biased lol). It looked painfully unrealistic as well.

The show yet again suffered because of its format. you simply can't throw in a bunch of characters in a 30 minute, 10 episode long comedy show and just hope for the best. It felt messy, rushed and fleeting. Like there was no room to breathe, I felt so anxious watching the middle part of the show.

• Things I did like in no particular order

1. The adults' storylines

I found them much more tolerable and cohesive. I am a Nalini stan first and a human second. I just love her. I love watching Poorna be so brilliant in this role. I was thrilled they gave her a friend and quite sad that friend was taken away later on but oh well. Also, possibly my favorite moment in the show was this quote from Nalini : "You are never too much and always enough." This show was the first time I've truly seen my relationship with my own mother represented in a way that isn't black or white and just simple or complicated. For me this scene meant a lot - showing that no matter what may happen, Nalini will always love and support her daughter.

I also liked Kamala's storyline. Tbh I didn't like Prashant all that much. He felt like a more mature Paxton. I'm glad Kamala didn't rush into marriage, especially if it's something she does not want. I really liked the relationship between Kamala and Mr. Kulkarni, I just wish we saw more of them.

2. Trent and Eleanor ??

I totally predicted this!! I said they will be that odd couple that somehow works very well and I was right. They were really entertaining and I'm so glad we get to see more of them.

3. Trent and Paxton ??

I adored Paxton and Trent's friendship. You can tell they love each other in their weird ways. This totally made me like the characters more and I love love LOVE seeing healthy male friendships in media.

4. Paxton

And everybody gasped. (Hell, I gasped, too). Here it comes Paxton/Daxton stans....

I did really like Paxton this season. And he had his moments last season as well, I'll admit that. Is he my favorite character in the show? No. Do I still think he's kinda boring and overrated? Yes. But I did like him. My favorite Paxton moment this season was in the hospital with Ben (as well as his friendship with Ben as a whole). Not only was it very kind of him to stay with Ben and make him feel better, I also loved him admiting he doesn't really know who he is. How incredibly honest of him. I liked that he apologized to all the girls he hurt and that he was friends with Haley again. I also loved him telling Devi she can't love anyone until she loves herself (someone's been reading my posts 👀). He finally started to care about things (school) and even if his storyline is a simple one, it worked. I'm glad he grew as a person. For me, Paxton finally  became a full-fledged character with a unique storyline. It took only 3 seasons but we got there.

5. Benjamin Gross

I could write novels about Ben Gross. I could write about him until my hands hurt and then some more. He is easily one of my, if not my favorite fictional character of all time. He is one of the few characters that, in my opinion, isn't written in an episodic way. Jaren Lewison has this great ability to carry all of Ben's emotions in his pocket and whip out what he needs in a scene with such ease. The character doesn't forget his lessons, he remembers his past feelings and what they taught him which makes him develop and make progress so naturally within the show. Ben Gross isn't just a douche at the beginning of season 1 and a nice guy at the end of season 3. You can see all of his flaws as well as how caring and emotionally intelligent he is at the same time throughout the entire show. I'm so happy he learned to relax and not care as much about grades.

This kinda falls under Ben, but just 3x06 being the best episode (with the finale) for me. I don't know what kind of crack Mindy Kaling puts in the Ben episodes but she gets is right every damn time. Those 4 words being "I'm proud of you" from his dad made me so emotional. I wouldn't want them to be anything or for anyone else. Also I fucking loved Ben being into drawing?? We need more of that.

6. Devi Vishwakumar

My girl. I really liked Devi this season. I loved how they showed she's still grieving. Maitreyi's performance in the scene when Paxton tells her she doesn't love herself yet was so heartbreakingly beautiful. She knew he was right. Also can we talk about the best version of Devi aka post time jump Devi??? I love that girl! You can really tell she matured quite a bit. She's not as hot headed anymore. The only "bad" thing she did was throwing that book or whatever it was in the trash and honestly...? I didn't see how that was such a big deal at all. And the other team kinda cheated, too. Who cares? They're not in a courtroom. I really hope that in season 4 we see her growing even more.

7. The whole gang

One thing I also liked was that everyone was friends with everyone this season. We saw the Paxton-Trent-Eleanor group, Paxton and Ben's friendship, Paxton and Fabiola, Ben-Devi-Fabiola and so on.... I reallllly liked the different dynamics.

8. Ben & Devi

And finally - this is what (some of) you have been waiting for. As you can see the pacing and new characters really messed with how much I loved (or rather didn't) this season. But honestly, now that I had time to think about it, the character development and just the finale really saved the whole season for me. And yes, this includes Ben and Devi. This season we've seen Ben and Devi be mostly, friends. They didn't share many moments until the last few episodes which did frustrate me but that is exactly what made all of them feel so special later on. It was important for them to not spend as much time together then slowly be close friends for the finale we got. I really wasn't expecting it. For all my criticisms about the writing not being the best in some aspects of the show, the writers did such a good job with their storyline and it's safe to say that s3 is my favorite when it comes to them.

Last season we've only seen hints of them pining for each other. This season they were much more honest and comfortable with each other. I cannot stop thinking about how perfectly their little romance was sprinkled over the seasons, with season one's introduction and teasing of their feelings, season two's big conflict and hurt and finally season three's rekindling of feelings and big realizations. None of their storyline felt like sudden big explosions (like with Paxton), just a natural evolution of caring for each other. A sign that it wasn't just a crush (quick and overwhelming) but a first love kind of a situation. Realistic, messy, beautiful, simple. There isn't a doubt in my mind that these two will end up together in some way at the end of season 4. Truly one of my favorite on screen couples all thanks to the brilliant and talented Jaren and Maitreyi.

Overall, I still think the show's best season is season 1. It was almost perfectly set up. However, in terms of characters and our main couple, I have to say season 3 feels the most open, vulnerable and grown up. The last episode felt super special and teased season 4 in which we will see the gang prepare for college. I have huge expectations for season 4 and I really think it could be one of the best ones (best one?), but who knows...

Maybe I'm just a sucker for closures.

Also, I can't believe the finale??? Like they were evil evil for that one, not letting us see what happens! On the other hand I can't be mad bc as a writer that is such a me thing to do. Like, I can totally see myself be that much of an asshole and sadist so I kinda get it. Idk what I will do until s4.

[acaciapines]

#420 BLAZE IT

oh of COURSE

Hard of Hearing – Radical Face (Redux)

sraf doesn’t have nightmares, ‘cause nightmare is a stupid dumb witch-word and he’s not a witch and also it makes people look at him sad sad sad and he HATES that, and so nightmares ARE NOT IT. OKAY. NOT NIGHTMARES KING.

but sometimes still he.

sleeping is new too. even as the days become weeks months one-day-years and all the time kinda seems the same but it goes goes goes, as it goes on sleeping is a thing he can do. he makes himself a nest like grr-click-growl’s, balancing himself on her back to get all the twigs and leaves and also blankets ‘cause the owl lady please-call-me-eda said he also needed those too. so sleeping and nest are good things ‘n they like the owl words for them best-of-all, ‘cause the rolling grumbling growly mine mine mine is something held close to their chest.

but despite that sometimes the sleeping is.

it’s like he’s back-there again. tablet sometimes. the tablet never really goes away but that’s been so always, ‘n so what really gets to him, the kinda stuff that means all the sounds he can make are bad bad bad and hiding small-scared how he never wants to be, is when he’s back in the trap and looking at king and feeling the stinging burn of claws across their cheek.

like he’s back-then and he knows what happens, knows how titan’s blood sizzled crackle-pop and the trap was shattered, and king growled in a way that meant both anger anger but also you-here-good, and they didn’t know what to do, and so much happened, but it’s the stuff that leads to him here and he likes here. and he knows now he’s safe even if safe is sometimes something he has to bite onto ‘cause elsewise he loses it.

but in the bad-seeing-story there is no blood and there is just the trap, like the tablet. there are all the witches who were there around him and their magic that cut sharp, ‘n him staring down there and the way the barrier shimmered between them and king, and he couldn’t breathe.

those are the things that send him bolting up so fast he smashes his head on the ceiling and there trembling in the air has to remember here here here and that here is a place he doesn’t want to blast apart. that here is good safe mine and nobody hurts him anymore.

he never tells king about them ‘cause he doesn’t know how to say sometimes i see you and think you’re gonna put me back there again.

he never tells king ‘cause sometimes when it’s real dark and empty he thinks at least back then it was easy to know how you felt about me.

Commentary

okay so i was going to do haha silly joke but then i saw what song is actually 420 and went FUCK and so instead its very sincere explorations of sraf instead lol.

first off! i've clarified in the other posts but sraf is indeed the collector--sraf is the translated version of what firefly (the owl beast, here sraf calls her 'grr-click-growl' which are the sounds for her name) calls him and that he eventually adopts bc he's never been particularly attached to 'the collector' as a name.

and now what even to SAY like.

sraf is. Dealing With A Lot Post-Canon Yes Yes? he and king have a REALLY messy relationship, and here sraf is thinking of and referring to a specific event that happens between them in for the future--it's a big scene so i won't elaborate on it due to spoilers, but there are pieces here and there to put together at least a sketch of it.

but that event is this moment of like--it is SO CLEAR to sraf that king is only using him. and like, obviously this isnt true and its so much more complicated than that, but at the moment its like a repeat of all the other times people have betrayed sraf in the past, that the black-white of it all becomes very sharp.

and now post-canon they share a mom and a house but they arent really friends and neither of them are really able to deal with that. its messy!

also if you cannot tell sraf thinks a lot in owl-terms--he's very very close to firefly and IS indeed otherkin, being an owl beast, though he does not have those words lol since he really just talks to firefly about this and she is very helpful, but also a big owl. his identity has always been pretty messy but here its easy for him to work at being a good owl, because its a goal that isnt tied up in all his past which he is for sure nowhere near dealing with.

basically: sraf my beloved they are the best owl house character and i love them so so much <3

[romanticatheartt]

I want to rant a little so before y'all attack me I ship Elucien so pls chill the f out. As always my problem is the fans (AND NOT ALL OF THEM). And if you don't agree with any of this please be respectful or just unfollow or block me, I'm not looking for an argument :)

The hate Feysand or IC gets from different sides of the fandom is funny to me. When they don't want to blame their favorite character, they put it on IC. And I'm specifically want to talk about Eluciens.

It's a little long so ->

Idk what's their problem and I certainly don't want to know (I didn't even know there was a problem but apparently is) but I found this out unwillingly when Tumblr thinks I would enjoy these kind of posts or when people don't know how to tag properly lol

So it seems Eluciens have problem with IC because they don't let them communicate without being watched and if they leave them alone they'll be getting along instantly...

First of all have y'all forget the fact that they have been alone? After the war Feyre specially leaves them alone and let them talk. No one watches and there's no one there to make them uncomfortable. And If I'm not wrong there is one other time before he leaves for the search of Vassa. My point is the times they've been watched, was because IC didn't trust Lucien not because they have problem with his bond with Elain. The bond is sacred to them, they'll never have any problem with that trust me.

So the fact that you don't take into account that maybe Elain is really not ready to be with Lucien is beyond me. That you take away her agency and turn it into someone else's fault.

You don't want to accept that Elain just had a messy break up, she still mourns her human life, she's somewhere she doesn't belong to and is utterly lost. You want to completely forget that and blame it on IC while they're their biggest supporters.

I'm pointing out to Morrigan, Rhysand, Feyre, Cassian and maybe Nesta (after acosf)

Morrigan who's power is truth and asked Feyre to let them figures it out themselves even tho Feyre was trying to get them to talk to each other. She asked Feyre to not interfere even tho her intentions were good.

When Rhysand stopped Az because he knew there's no thoughts behind his actions. And when he didn't answer him about Mor or when he questioned the Cauldron he instantly had to stop it. (Probably because Tam/in said something similar about his bond with Feyre and he saw his brother is turning to someone he hates.) And while I didn't like the fact that he kinda decided for Elain, he also didn't know what she really wants but whatever it is he turns the events in favor of Lucien and Elain or let's say somewhere with less heart break. He wants them to at least have one chance before they do anything else. Because let's be honest if Rhys knew Az and Elain would've been happy together and Azriel would genuinely love her, he wouldn't have brought all those political reason as to why they can't be together. He would've find a way to make it happen. Rhysand is the person who wants for his family to get to their HEA. So it's completely obvious to me that he wanted to give Az reasons as to not think with his d*ck as always.

And they love LOVE to bash Feyre for even commenting on Cauldron being wrong. Listen so here's the thing: Sjm wanted to bring this question as a way to show that her mates are never wrong, they're suited for each other and 90% endgame. And since the first 3.5 books are 1st person and its Feyre's story, it had to be questioned by Feyre. This was an author's choice and not Feyre genuinely believing that. And it was a question that leads to Rhysand explaining how untrue it is. It was just a way for Sjm to show her mates are not wrong for each other. Feyre wasn't forcing this idea at all. She's new to all of this even tho she's been living with them for a couple of years. Compare to everyone else who has been born fae. She has the right to question things. (And they always come up with this question: what if someone question Feyre's bond with Rhys wouldn't she get mad? Um... No. Because she's seeing and experiencing the result of accepting the bond and it has clearly worked out for her. And beside being mates, she loves him. Being mated was a bonus point for them. So she probably wouldn't care if Cauldron was wrong. The mating bond isn't the only reason they're together. One day I'll write a post about the mating bond and why I think it can't be wrong but that's for another time.)

And Cassian is on board with them because he, like Feyre and Rhysand, knows how it's like to be with your mate. And we see him looking at Lucien with pity. And he also notices that night court is definitely not for Elain.

And Nesta literally said this in hofas:

“I’ve been in the Fae realms long enough to know that there are forces that sometimes guide us, push us along. I’ve learned to let them. And to listen.”

... I MEAN, I MEAN!!! *read it in timothée chalamet voice*

In acosf she called Elain out on her behavior. So you see, everyone is somehow rooting for Elucien and want them to at least give it a chance.

I said all this to prove that IC shouldn't be blamed while Elain (and maybe even Lucien we've never read either povs) don't want to take a step toward each other--for now. I guess it's just easier to blame IC for something that's literally not their fault. Everything they did after Lucien came into Velaris was understandable. They didn't trust him and he proved his somewhat loyalty to them or at the very least to Elain. And this was back in acowar so things has changed!!! But let's not forget that in the last winter solstice, Elain sat furthest from Lucien and it was her choice!! Her not giving Lucien a chance (yet) is her choice. Not wanting to be alone with him is her choice, please try to understand.

Still holding a grudge when circumstances has changed after acowar is just petty imo...

[straighttxhell]

Get to know me! 💋

So,, @the-type-a tagged me in this like 8 months ago and never got a chance to do it cause tumblr kept deleting the draft but I am procrastinating doing my final project to graduate college so here goes nothing

Thanks for the tag and feel free to do it again cause lmao it's been a whike

🖌 - Do you have/want any tattoos?

No I wanna get a spider gwen tattoo but I dont have a ton of money rn

💚 - What’s your favourite colour?

Pastel pink 🩷

🍕 - What’s the last thing you ate?

Spinach Pasta

🕰 - What time is it where you are rn?

11:27 pm (when i started, its 11:50 now)

🌟 - What is your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius sun, Taurus moon, and Aquarius rising.

I also have Venus and Mars in Scorpio so that pretty much sums up why I'm insane.

🌍 - What is your favourite accent?

I really enjoy cockney accents, Daniel Kaluuya's in particular. Maybe it's just his voice.

⚡️ - Do you have any scars?

Yes, I accidentally stabbed my thigh, also accidentally cut it with a blade, and my legs are covered in permanent bruises from when I danced.

🌺 - What’s your MBTI type?

Every time I do it I get smth different, so either INTP or ISFP??

🥀 - Favourite animated movie?

SPIDER-VERSE!!!!!! MY ENTIRE LIFE

I CHOSE MY CAREER BC OF IT

📺 - Favourite show?

The Office probably, or Community, I really like sitcoms

😂 - Are you ticklish?

Isn't everyone??

💍 - Do you ever want to get married?

Yes, I am one of those ppl that want to meet like their one true love and get married and spend our entire lives together

😳 - Do you like your name?

It triggers me a little so I don't like to be called by it but I like the name by itself a lot

💙 - What colour is your bedroom?

Like a beige green, I hate it but it came like that and am too lazy to paint it

🤓 - How did you get your name?

My mom liked it thats it lol

🎓 - When did/do you graduate?

This month hopefully, my ceremony isn't until January tho

🍄 - Do you have/want any piercings?

Yeah I have the normal ones, two in my left ear and one in my right ear so I can freely forget to wear earrings Id add a pick but I dont want to

👀 - What colour are your eyes?

Veeeery dark brown

👱🏻‍♀️ - What is your go to hairstyle?

A messy bun, I like having it down although it's mostly hot here so that's not possible, and sometimes I do have to put it in a bun cause my hair is really really thin and straight so it tangles incredibly easy and it takes me a good 5 minutes to brush it and I tend to be in such a hurry every morning I simply can't afford to do that

🥂 - Have you ever drank underage?

Yes I didn't know tho lol I was 14 and drinking funny tasting grape juice at sleepovers, my friends thought I knew lol uhmm but yeah after that I stopped until I was 18 and back from quarantine

🍾 - Have you ever gotten drunk?

Don't take me as a role model please, but yes and I love getting drunk, I've never blacked out but I do remember every now and then funny memories like huh I forgot I did that 🥰 Also I've only once drank so much I puked it all up next morning

😱 - What’s your biggest fear?

Roaches?? Not trying to get too deep

🥵 - Would you rather be too hot or too cold?

Hot. I hate not being able to move bc of cold, my body aches so bad when its cold.

🌦 - What’s your favourite weather?

Cloudy, rainy and not cold, like eventually the sun comes out yknow

🍂 - What’s your favourite season?

Fall

🐷 - What’s your favourite animal?

Catssss

🐶 - Do you have any pets?

2 cats!! And my sister has 2 dogs but they're also kinda mine ig

😴 - What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

No idea, I am way too sleep deprived to notice at the end

🎨 - Any hobbies?

Drawing, painting, video editing and designing, anything creative

🛩 - If travelling was free, where’s the first place you’d go?

New York 😭😭😭 if i had a visa also Id love to stay at the plaza hotel

🎇 - What’s your most searched thing on Google?

Probably Taylor Swift?? or the Spice Chalk Stretch Naked Wokfe boots

📱 - Favourite app on your phone?

PINTEREST, a girl without pinterest is an angel without wings..

🤠 - Are you more of a city person or a country person?

City by far, I've spent all my life in the city and wouldn't stand not having everything I have here

Tagging: @spnyuri @queer-cosette and idk who is still active here but whoever wants to do it

[velkynkarma]

-Breaks into your Ask box-

HI Hello I am. An Old fan of your Voltron fics. Parallel by Proxy was the first Clone Shiro Fanfic I gave a chance after the theory became Prevalent. See I HATED that theory with a burning passion, and I wouldn't read ANY of the fanfic. But I finally gave yours a shot and i fell in LOVE. I've read and re-read multiple of your fics and I love how you built Ryou and his character arc!! 😭 I'm not quite caught up right now since I haven't read any of the new stuff you posted after like... 2019??? I"m guessing but there was a small gap of time with no updates and I got distracted HAHAHA. HOWEVER I AM READING PRICE CUT PALADINS AND IT HAS BEEN DELIGHTFUL!!!! I missed these clowns and you reminded me just how much I love them 😭😭😭😭🧡🧡 LIKE OH MY GOODNESS ITS A BLAST FROM THE PAST, and a lot of your excellent writing carries that, so THANK Y OU SO MUCH FOR WRITING IT. I'm Getting close to the end and I can't wait to see crap hit the fan!!! Its been my little bed time story for a bit now and has brought me so much joy ;;v;; And this weirdly correlates to uh. I visited your blog a bit ago because I remember you being a cool person and I saw that you were Reblogging stuff for the life action One Piece. I've never WATCHED One Piece, but I've seen a lot of AMVs at conventions and its so Clear that the fans just. ADORE IT. SO when the fans were saying the live action was good I was kinda wondering if it'd be worth watching. But then when I saw you liked it??? Nail in the coffin. I ended up Binge watching the whole thing in 4 days and I now have another Gangle of Beloved Idiots to Cry over So thank you a lot for dragging me onto this sailing ship asdlfjSDLGJLSDGJSD

Me getting this message right before bed:

What a great message to get, thanks for taking the time to write me such a nice little letter!

First off I am delighted I was able to change your opinion on the Kuron/clone!Shiro theory. Because I totally get it, it can be super frustrating when everyone's throwing a theory in your face and you just don't vibe with it. That happened for me back in S1 when everyone was swearing up and down that galra!Keith was totally going to be a thing and it was such a popular theory. I did not vibe with it at all and I nearly stopped watching when it was confirmed canon in S2. So I get how annoying it can be, but I'm glad you were able to enjoy my fic and give at least one clone Shiro a chance!

I'm also equally delighted to hear you've been enjoying the Price Cut Paladins series. I love having a little bedtime story I can treat myself to at night before bed so it is always an honor to be that story for someone else :) I hope you continue to enjoy hyper-competent ex-monster-hunter Shiro and his gaggle of accidentally adopted cryptid family members.

Me? A cool person? Well, I certainly do my best to be at least. I'm just glad my messy pile of personal interests called a tumblr blog also appeals to others sometimes lol.

As for One Piece...

Welcome aboard, sailor. You may never leave again.

Real talk, the live action is a great entry point for One Piece...it still captures the spirit of the series as a whole, but 8 episodes are a lot less intimidating than the 1000+ the anime currently has going. I enjoyed it a lot and highly recommend it to anyone even moderately interested, since it's not nearly as huge an investment.

Thanks for making my night with such a nice ask :)

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Dark Prophecy: Chapter 35 (SPOILERS)

"I turned her onto her side, as one should do for someone after they have a seizure." Rick Riordan offering lifesaving medical advice! Thank you!

"Ahem . . . So about this favor you promised--" "Shut up!" Lol it's such bad timing he doesn't even get the words out.

"Well, she makes your table manners look positively refined!" Is Persephone canonically a messy eater? Not the lore I was expecting to get today. "Demeter might make you the minor goddess of cute little piglets!" You have too much to live for! You might become the immortal god of pigs!

"Hope . . . Interesting word. I had hope once--that my father might act like a father. I got over it after a few centuries of being dead." Lmao Trophonius is such a salty boy.

With Meg having swallowed the bees instead of Apollo, are we not going to get Apollo's firsthand experience of swallowing death and madness? That's very disappointing.

"coughing up random words like horse, crossword, cloven, roots." Are these words we should pay attention to? I'm going to write them down anyway.

"Was forced death and madness to swallow." The mouth CPR thing? "mouth-to-mouth resuscitation" Yes, that! "(Those silly Roman demigods were always drowning.)" Gee, I wonder why. *eyes decrepit Neptune temple*

"Then, our minds cominlged, Meg and I plunged into primordial Chaos" OH, that's not the New York Public Library! "I shielded Meg from the miasma as best I could" Would it be able to hurt her if she's not physically there? Could it hurt Apollo, too? Also, MIASMA (n.): an oppressive or unpleasant atmosphere which surrounds or emanates from something

"Swift white horse . . . The crossword speaker. Lands of scorching death." Thanks! We get the full version of what Meg was rambling before.

"I could pass into the Fields of Punishment. Didn't I deserve to be punished for my many crimes?" Yes. You kinda have unfinished business, though. But yes. Definitely yes. "Unfortunately, Meg felt the same way." No, Meg! I don't know exactly what she's done in the Imperial Household, but just like Hazel's mother's influence was considered in Hazel's judgement, Nero's influence must be considered when weighing Meg's life. She also fought against this influence in the recent months. If Meg were to die now, I have no doubt she would go to the Fields of Elysium.

Of course, they're not going to die now.

"Thank the Three Fates" So that's who gods thank when they say that! It's been nagging at the back of my mind since I first started reading PJO.

"Destroy this cave." That was unexpected. Does Trophonius want to pass on into the afterlife? Is he hoping he and his brother can be reunited in death? "This location is too exposed . . . Perhaps my Oracle will reappear somewhere else in a few centuries . . . Maybe that will give you time to become a nicer father." Lol. So he just wants to move house. Fair enough. I can't bring myself to dislike Trophonius. Yeah, he drive a couple little girls insane, but who hasn't? He's remarkably stable for someone who has carried on in the solitude of darkness and fear and misery for the past few millennia. He hates Apollo for good reason. There's nothing to dislike Trophonius for other than the madness he hands out like candy.

"And Agamethus? Will he disappear as well?" . . . "Eventually" Are you telling me Brieanna doesn't get to pass on into the afterlife? No, no. I'm changing canon. He does find his way to the Underworld eventually. If it doesn't happen on its own, either Apollo or Leo will get word to Nico about it. There we go. Easy fix. Agamethus finds peace.

[dazedhypen]

kinda important announcement?

hello everyone!!! i've been inactive lately though i doubt anyone noticed bc i only have a few mutuals here, i also doubt that anyone will see this as soon as i post it?

the past few weeks i've been busy with studying and all but when i had the time to take a break, i spent that time thinking of stuffs that is pretty much connected to me being on tumblr =͟͟͞͞(꒪ᗜ꒪ ‧̣̥̇)

i've been on tumblr for like less than a year and during that time, i sometimes feel uneasy in some way?? that feeling is not bc i'm guilty or sumn ofc but bc i feel like who i am/how i behave on this app is kinda different than how i am irl ++ i know that this doesn't seem to be a big deal but recently it feels like i'm forcing myself to behave in a certain way too much and it leads me to think that i'm tricking people with a whole different personality

it honestly bothers me so much like how i exaggerate everything ranging from my personality to the way i type(?),, i feel like i'm rlly overdoing it with my constant use of kaomojis and many other things ☹️ while what i've mentioned above is true, ofc the way i've behaved on this app isn't always forced nor is it always different than me irl but it's more like i'm trying too hard to be someone who i'm not???

another thing that has been bothering me lately is that i've been having writer's block and since i rlly rlly love to write, it bothers me that i can't bc i'm constantly focused on my studies 24/7 and even when i have the time do write i'd always be distracted by other things

as much as i love writing, the past few months the writer's block are really getting to me and all i wanna do is write but as i mentioned, i'm unable to do so (ಥ﹏ಥ) usually its bc idk how to start the fic or most of the time bc i worry that it won't turn out well

i try to motivate myself to finish everything by posting that i'll be uploading a new fic but in the end it doesn't work out ++ even if i have the fic prepared but i'll always go back to reading it and be bothered by the quality of it,, i'm currently trying to improve my vocabulary, grammars and writing skills so i could post again but i rlly don't think it's working and i hate going through my blog then seeing so many of me rambling here and there, it looks so cluttered and messy ://

as a result of this i became a little bit stressed especially with my studies also happening rn,, i feel like i decided this a little too rashly?? but then i've thinking abt this long enough to not be considered as acting too rashly

i'm announcing that i'm no longer gonna be active on this blog, based on how i'm feeling i wanna sort of start over again on my new blog @hypesahi (can't tag it yet lol but do comment if u still wanna be moots on my other blog <3) also i won't be deactivating(?) this blog bc i rlly like my username and i rlly don't wanna lose so many things from here :((

i think that's all i have to say?? have a nice day/night whoever sees this <33 i won't be tagging anyone bc i'm not sure who to tag,, soooo 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️😭

[nickeverdeen]

Nickname: Anni or Annie

Fandom: Hunger Games! (please, tysm!)

Sexuality: Straight.....I think- (so male match ig)

Zodiac signs: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising

Personality type: Entp

Pronouns: She/her

So lets see here a little bit about my appearance.....I am very petite and I won't lie i'm about 5'3.....maybe 5'4 on a good day. I also have thick brown hair that goes down to lower mid back and if you are ever around me you'll hear me get frustrated with my hair and i'll say something like "I AM GOING TO CUT OFF ALL OF MY HAIR, I SWEAR!" but for now I am keeping it how it is lmao. I also have brown eyes and lots of freckles on my face, my freckles are one of my most liked features about myself lol. Lastly for my style.....I have none. I like Adidas so I'll wear Adidas jackets and sporty stuff and besides that I just wear normal t-shirts and what not lol. Although flannels....absolutely lovely. I love flannels and combat boots....

My personality can be a bit rocky at first. Sometimes I just won't like someone for no reason, I can't explain why but I just won't like them idk. But overall i'm an extrovert, I just dislike people sometimes lmao but nonetheless my social skills are fine and I make new friends ridiculously easy. I do have a resting bitch face though so it does make people nervous when first meeting me but I promise I am not that bad.

When you really get down to who I actually am I am a big asshole who just happens to be a big goofball as well. I am extremely sarcastic, almost to a fault and I will sometimes rag on people in a teasing way. I also do dumb stuff like climbing and falling out of trees, tripping over air, falling up the stairs, etc. Also being reckless doesn't help either. But I have a very strong "I don't care" attitude and I am very blunt and brash when I get angry or in general sometimes, I also struggle with emotions like I hate talking about feelings so I suck at that stuff. But seriously I cannot talk about my feelings like at all, i'll kinda hold it all in and being vulnerable or talking about emotions make me anxious and super uncomfortable. BUT besides that I am very bold and prideful but I can be very caring when I want to be around certain people and I'd do anything for my friends and people I'm close to.

Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. I also love the smell of cigarette smoke....let me explain. When I was a kid my parents smoked a lot and I was used to smelling it and now it reminds me of home and is sort of comforting. I also have lots of intrusive thoughts lol so sometimes i'll just be sitting there quietly and I'll just start laughing like a weirdo......i'm a big dork honestly. I also do that weird thing where i'm sitting down and I'll just be bouncing my leg....idk why I do it....I just do....and I also run my fingers through my hair a lot, thats why its always messy. Sometimes when i'm bored I space out and i'll chew on my lip or the side of gum...I need to stop I know but its hard to....

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 10 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 90's rock or any like grunge or alt, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Lincoln Park, Pearl jam, Deftones but i'm pretty open to anything, I also have a soft spot for some good 80's rock too......I started taking martial arts so hehe that's kinda cool...I can do cool body locks and I know a lot of good pressure points to use against someone, I can also throw people ober my shoulder so that's cool

Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider....like seriously I will move to the moon if one touches me. I also tend to be more irritable around people lately so I dislike people right now......

--

(I apologize if this is super long...I can shorten it if you'd like-)

No need to shorten it and thanks 🫶

Also may I ask what type of material arts are you doing?

————————————————————

Your Hunger Games match is…

Gale Hawthrone

(No hate on him here please)

Jokes about how short you are and how tall he is

(You ain’t short, trust me)

He is pretty introverted so people seeing him date an extrovert is a suprise

He doesn’t really care what others think, though

Gale at first thought he did something weong when he saw your resting face

Jokes like “you can be scary” or “remind me not to get on your bad side”

Laughs at you when tripping over an air or falling up the stairs plus falling down on trees

Helps you and makes sure you’re okay, though

Teases you about it later 100%

Gale isn’t that type of a person to talk about feelings in general

Jokes about the fact that your words sound very country and southern

Runs his own hand through your hair

Compliments your franckless on your face

There aren’t many places where to swim in District 12 so he’d try to find some river at least

Watches the rain with you

Gale isn’t a big fan of horror movies so he probably wouldn’t want to watch them with you

But he does like your music taste

Plays your favourite songs when you’re home alone

Says how cool it is that you know material arts

Maybe feel free to teach him some of it

Teases you about your arachnophobia

(Fear of spiders)

Sometimes like a kid he’d bring it up to you

Constant flirting

Most of the girls in the District are very jealous that you get to date the hottest boy that in the District is

(Sorry Peeta)

Random rambeling about leaving the District and about the future

Hunting with him may be hell ‘cause of his taunting and teasing about it (not in a bad way)

Gale can’t hunt himself so you can tease him about that

Ruffles your hair sometimes to annoy you or just for fun

He is a very protective boyfriend

Treats you like his best friend, but also like his whole world

Hopes you understand his actions and meanings behind them

Beats up Peacekeepers to just keep you safe

Gale is willing to die for you or get tortured

[menacetosocietyy]

Hi! Thank you so much for doing this with me! I'm super excited! Anyways heres my info!

Fandom: Dead by daylight (Killer or survivor idc either way!)

Nickname: Anni or Annie

Zodiac signs: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising

Personality type: Entp

Pronouns: She/her

So lets see here a little bit about my appearance.....I am very petite and I won't lie i'm about 5'3.....maybe 5'4 on a good day. I also have thick brown hair that goes down to lower mid back and if you are ever around me you'll hear me get frustrated with my hair and i'll say something like "I AM GOING TO CUT OFF ALL OF MY HAIR, I SWEAR!" but for now I am keeping it how it is lmao. I also have brown eyes and lots of freckles on my face, my freckles are one of my most liked features about myself lol. Lastly for my style.....I have none. I like Adidas so I'll wear Adidas jackets and sporty stuff and besides that I just wear normal t-shirts and what not lol. Although flannels....absolutely lovely. I love flannels and combat boots....

My personality can be a bit rocky at first. Sometimes I just won't like someone for no reason, I can't explain why but I just won't like them idk. But overall i'm an extrovert, I just dislike people sometimes lmao but nonetheless my social skills are fine and I make new friends ridiculously easy. I do have a resting bitch face though so it does make people nervous when first meeting me but I promise I am not that bad.

When you really get down to who I actually am I am a big asshole who just happens to be a big goofball as well. I am extremely sarcastic, almost to a fault and I will sometimes rag on people in a teasing way. I also do dumb stuff like climbing and falling out of trees, tripping over air, falling up the stairs, etc. Also being reckless doesn't help either. But I have a very strong "I don't care" attitude and I am very blunt and brash when I get angry or in general sometimes, I also struggle with emotions like I hate talking about feelings so I suck at that stuff. But seriously I cannot talk about my feelings like at all, i'll kinda hold it all in and being vulnerable or talking about emotions make me anxious and super uncomfortable. BUT besides that I am very bold and prideful but I can be very caring when I want to be around certain people and I'd do anything for my friends and people I'm close to.

Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. I also love the smell of cigarette smoke....let me explain. When I was a kid my parents smoked a lot and I was used to smelling it and now it reminds me of home and is sort of comforting. I also have lots of intrusive thoughts lol so sometimes i'll just be sitting there quietly and I'll just start laughing like a weirdo......i'm a big dork honestly. I also do that weird thing where i'm sitting down and I'll just be bouncing my leg....idk why I do it....I just do....and I also run my fingers through my hair a lot, thats why its always messy. Sometimes when i'm bored I space out and i'll chew on my lip or the side of gum...I need to stop I know but its hard to....

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 10 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 90's rock or any like grunge or alt, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Lincoln Park, Pearl jam, Deftones but i'm pretty open to anything, I also have a soft spot for some good 80's rock too......I started taking martial arts so hehe that's kinda cool...I can do cool body locks and I know a lot of good pressure points to use against someone....also learning how to throw someone over my shoulder at the moment so don't mess with me!

Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider....like seriously I will move to the moon if one touches me. I also tend to be more irritable around people lately so I dislike people right now......

Oh I'm so excited for this!! My first ask! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA thank you!!

Alright, anyway,

I match you with...

Joey!!

So after reading up on your personality type, star signs, and obviously what you have sent me- I had the internal struggle between him and Leon. Though, ultimately, Joey won because I personally feel that he would be able to keep up with your spice because he has to deal with Frank, constantly.

I think Joey at heart is a big softy and truly just wants to be loved and someone to baby, and you'd eat that shit up!!

On the flip side, you and him could totally just banter for hours before he pulls out his secret weapon, flirting. Which turns you into a flustered mess because, come on, it's Joey. Who could survive that??

You and Joey would be total dorks together, just goofing off. Much to the infuriation of Frank.

"Hey, Y/N what if oranges had legs"

"That's cursed, I love it- FRANK! What if oranges had-"

"Shut the fuck up"

Joey would also be so protective over you- you don't need it since you're a badass by yourself, but that doesn't mean you always have to protect yourself. So he's there when shit goes downhill.

Joey doesn't like being a killer, but another survivor was picking on you, badly? That bitch is getting tunneled and moried. Or he will pull them down extra hard on the hook.

If you're also a killer and one of the others (probably Ghostface, that shit) is teasing you or something, he's got a few sassy remarks up his sleeve.

Speaking of him not enjoying being a killer, you comfort him on the bad days. The days it gets to him. Giving him all the hugs, cuddles, and kisses he needs while he rides that awful, awful wave of guilt. He deserves the world yet he seems to only see himself taking it from others.

The worst trials (if you're a survivor) are when the entity decides to be a dick and forces him to sacrifice you because he constantly lets you go and the entity is sick of it.

You always assure him it's okay, but it eats him alive and he's fucked up about it for weeks on end.

Hurting the one he loves with his whole being will never, ever be easy and it does destroy him.

Other survivors unfortunately will receive the brunt of the pain since there isn't really many healthy ways to release this, causing him to be a bit rougher than usual.

When this happens, just be soft and kind with him, give him all the love you can, when you can and reassure him it's not his fault, because there was no choice.

Anyway, enough with the angst.

When you're having a bad day he lets you wear his mask and gives extra words of affirmation and cuddles.

He reminds you to stop chewing on your lip or gums when you do, as well.

You guys definitely find a lake/pool somewhere in the fog and go swimming all the time between trials, even if he's not the best swimmer. You'll teach him. (He also checks you out constantly).

He finds your random laughing weirdly endearing, you both are almost always laughing together anyway, since y'all are dorks.

He also makes you teach him some martial arts stuff, this only makes him worse to go up against if someone hurt you tbh.

He learns how to braid your hair so it's less messy but he still finds it ADORABLE when it's a hot mess.

ALSO he will totally tease you when you say things and they come out sounding country, definitely mocking the accent (horribly) and saying it's exactly what you sound like.

He will also lovingly tease you about the spiders, but always kills/releases them for you and gives you a sweet kiss after.

That is all! I really hope you enjoyed, thanks so much for the trade :) <3