#its mostly over now so i've moved back home and its my first night in my bed after so long :)

[soulmvtes]

showering and then getting into your own bed with fresh sheets >>

[heich0e]

suna's parents divorced when he was eight.

he doesn't remember a lot of the finer details as he's gotten older, mostly just that there used to be a lot of yelling, but he does remember the two piles of belongings that stacked up in the empty living room of his childhood home: one consisting of his father's and his own, and the other comprised of his mother's and his little sister's. their entire life, their entire family, packed up into cardboard and then divided down the middle.

the apartment he moved into with his father was always too quiet. it was in aichi, far enough away from where he spent the first decade of his life that he didn't have to be reminded of it every time he left the house, but since his father worked so much it still left him with plenty of time to think. to grieve. though maybe he didn't recognize it as that at the time. he played video games his father bought for him after school. ate convenience store bentos or whatever leftovers were set aside for him in the fridge for dinner. he put himself to bed at night. it wasn't a bad life, though maybe a bit lonely.

he was scouted to play for inarizaki when he was 14.

the lonely apartment turned into a lively dorm. he had new friends (his teammates) to play video games with. his convenience store bentos were replaced with hot meals from the meal hall. the loneliness of the apartment in aichi was a distant memory, but still lingered.

"i'm home."

rintarou drops his training bag in the genkan as he toes off his shoes, calling into the apartment to announce his return.

"welcome home!" you call back from further in the apartment, and the sound makes him smirk a little to himself.

you've been coming over to his place a lot lately, ever since he gave you his spare key. he's not upset about this in the slightest, but it doesn't mean he won't take every possible opportunity to tease you for it. he plans how he's going to make fun of you as he pads into his home towards the sound of your voice. he almost has it all planned out—his delivery on the very tip of his tongue—when he falters to a stop.

"how was your day?" you ask him without looking up from what you're doing.

and suddenly, anything rintarou may have wanted to say—joke or otherwise—is beyond him.

he watches as you set a plate of food down on the already full table just off his little kitchen. the food that covers the surface is still hot enough that steam curls up into the air above it, its preparation perfectly timed to his arrival home. his apartment is warm, and smells good, and there's music playing from your cellphone on the other side of the room that you must have been listening to while you cooked.

his chest feels tight.

you turn to look at him when he doesn't respond to your question.

"rin?" you ask again, a lilt of worry in your tone. "you okay?"

"what's all this?" he manages to ask, nodding towards the table where the meal you prepared is still waiting.

"oh, i've been craving my mom's recipe for the past few days, i just thought i'd make it for dinner," you say, tugging at your fingers nervously. your entire countenance is a bit different now, strained like you're worried you've done something wrong. "hope that's okay?" your words lift at the end like a question.

rintarou's never seen so much food on his table. can't remember the last time he even sat there to eat a meal—let alone a home cooked one. his face feels hot, and his eyes sting, and he just can't bring himself to look at you.

"yeah," he says, and if you notice how his voice is a bit croaky, you're nice enough not to tease him about it. "'course it's okay."

you smile, and you look relieved. "wash your hands then, it's getting cold."

you eat your dinner together and talk about your days. you take a shower while he cleans up the dishes. you fall asleep tangled up together on the couch with a movie playing in the background.

his home isn't quiet anymore. he isn't lonely.

and it's thanks to you.

[tasteofthedivine93]

The Beauty of the Beast - Messmer x F!Reader - Elden Ring Fic - Epilogue

TasteOfTheDivine // Masterlist

Ao3 Link: archiveofourown.org/works/57094387/chapters/148604134 Fic Rating: Explicit🌶️🌶️ (Chapter: Explicit🌶️🌶️) Category: F/M Fandom: Elden Ring // Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erd Tree Relationships: Messmer x F!Reader // Messmer the Impaler x F!Reader Warnings: Smut // Oral F! and M! receiving // P in V // Fingering // Pregnancy // Words: 6319

MASTERLIST // <- Part 14

AUTHOR NOTE:

Here we are, the end of the road. This Epilogue is a few random stories but tie up the ending of our BATB tale.

Thank you to everyone who has read this story, its the longest I've ever done and it was a blast writing. It took me out of my comfort zone but worth it. Thank you for all the likes, comments, reblogs. Love you all.

A few months have passed since meeting Messmer, his transformation and you situating yourself in the castle. Since you have found that bliss couples have, enjoying Messmer's company, his love, his sex. You both laugh and cry together. He has brought out a different side in you that you never thought you had, and you with him. 

Since you have visited home as you previously intended, but first learning some mild healing incantations from Messmer’s library. Visiting home you were able to aid your mother and father to good health. You told them about Messmer and they were pleased for you. You asked if they would move to the Lands Between, however they declined. 

They were proud of you, and wished for you to spread your wings. You told them of the mirror that they could see you everyday. However your mother cupped your face and said it was okay, you were ready to start your own family. 

***

Messmer found you in the library, of course. He wanted to confess something, his skin burned and his cheeks flushed. His mouth was dry despite knowing you would just laugh it off. 

“My love.” He mutters, hand on your shoulders and turning you away from your book.

You look up at him smiling. You toy with your braid, the symbol of your love, your unofficial matrimony. 

“I wish to tell thee something.” Messmer runs his hands through his copper hair, now longer than before, trailing down his back. You feel Ophis and Fidi on your arms and shoulders. 

You remain silent, big eyes blinking at him. You watch as he breathes in slowly and lets out his breath.

“Back when we had our first dinner and we danced.” He takes your hand in his, running his thumb over the knuckles. “I, um.” His cheeks flush dark red. You tilt your head and knit your brows but remain smiling at him. “I saw you, pleasuring yourself.” He looks at you but then away.

You let out a laugh. “You saw me? How?” you ask, completely unbothered that he saw you.

“The mirror,” he mutters, “I wanted to see thee once more after we parted ways for the night and I saw thee,” he pauses, chewing his lip. “Mostly.” 

You chuckle again, you bring his hand to your lips and kiss his shaking fingers. “My love, why are you telling me this now?” You ask genuinely confused.

“I didn’t want thee to not know and I didn’t want thee to think of me as some… debauched cretin.” He finally looks at you, his amber snake eyes darting over your face.

“Messmer, my dear, I would never think of you that way and besides, I would have never known if you never told me.” You step forward and wrap your arms around his skinny waist. You hold him for a moment before feeling his arms scoop around your thighs and hoisting you up face to face with him. You let your legs wrap around his hips. 

“Am I a fool?” He asks.

“No, just in love.” You peck his carved soft lips. “I do have a question though.” A spark shimmers in your eyes and messmer catches it. He smirks. 

“Yes, my love?” 

You bite your lower lip between your teeth, blinking slowly. 

“Did you like what you saw?” 

He blushes. “Very much so.” 

You lean towards his ear, whispering. “Do you want another show?” You hear him groan, a deep rumble in his chest. He doesn’t answer, just holds you closer to him and starts to move towards the love seat in the corner. You squeak as he drops you onto the seat. Kneeling before you, he spreads your legs and hitches up your skirt. 

***

A year has passed since that day your cart got stuck in the mud, a year since you trailed through the forest and found yourself standing at the base of a grand blackened castle. A year since you bravely dared to enter into the castle and wander around. A year since you met Messmer. 

Now, you both stand in front of his mothers statue, her cradling a young messmer, while you cradle your swollen belly. You dawn a dark blue gown, lined with gold and silver, your hair in braids and decorated with ribbons and jewels. Your arm wrapped with a red ribbon, matching Messmers. You look up at him while he looks down at you. He smiles but you still see the hurt behind his eyes. 

He steps forward and gestures in front of the statue, the magic sealing the entrance shut flickers and sparkles and fades away. Messmer pulls a small lever, causing the statue to move, stone scraping stone and dust penetrates your nose. 

The sun shines brightly behind the statue and comes into view, blinding you. You move your arm to shield your eyes and let them adjust. You feel Messmer behind you, hands on your shoulders as he guides you forward. 

Once your eyes adjust, you’re met with a vast, breathtaking view. Multiple coloured flowers and lush trees, a small stream and grand golden tree stand before you. Your breath catches in your throat at the beautiful sight. Messmer holds your hand and guides you down the stairs till your bare feet step onto the softest, greenest grass. The warmth of the sun heats your skin, you hear birds sing and the gentle breeze swaying the leaves on the trees. 

For a moment you thought you’d ascended to the heavens, to the life after death it was stunning. You felt a kick in your stomach, you placed your hand on your bump and smile. 

Fidi and Ophis coil around you, they’ve become extra protective since your pregnancy. They eye the treeline and castle walls, guarding you from any harm. You reach up and scratch under Fidi’s chin. 

“They like this place,” you reach for Messmer’s hand, his fingers so long they cover your bump. He feels the kicks and smiles. 

Turning away from you, you let him step into the meadow alone. Messmer told you this was his mothers and his birthplace. He doesn’t recall it, but he knew he was born here. He had not been back here since the castle was built, but he needed to protect the land. 

He turns to you, the sun behind him creating a halo around his copper hair, his eyes shimmer and smile melts your insides. You want to cry at how beautiful he is, how much you love him. You reach out your hand and link your fingers with his, slowly you both walk through the wildflowers, pinks, whites, purples and oranges. 

Despite your condition, you walk up towards a village, buildings decayed and broken, mills no longer spinning. You feel a lump in your throat. You think of Messmer and how he should have been raised here, but instead he was brought up inside royal walls. 

You keep walking till you reach an opening, more wildflowers dance in the wind and in the middle of the field, a small golden tree shimmers in the light.

“My mothers final goodbye after her people were…” he trails off, unable to finish his words. You squeeze his hand and rest your head on his shoulder. “This is a minor Erdtree, it is meant to heal.” He lets his fingers glide through the translucent branches, glitter shines around his fingers. 

“Time heals, Messmer.” you mutter. He lets out a breathy chuckle and kisses the top of your head. He gestures to higher into the village towards a grey dying tree. For a moment you though your eyes tricked you, what you thought was just a tangled mess of branches in the trunk, was actually a woman. You felt your blood run cold for a moment. 

“This was the Grandmother.” he knees down, bowing to her. You curtsy as best as you can in your condition. “She was long before mine, or my mother’s time. I was told she was the healer, the midwife, the mother to all.” 

Carefully you step closer to her, you feel a warmth from her like when your own mother was near. You smile at her, yet she remains a statue. 

“She looks like the portraits of your mother.” You tilt your head.

“She does.” Messmer murmurs, sadness coating his voice. 

You bend over and kiss Messmer on his head, gently stroking his hair and basking in the blissful surroundings. You feel the soft scales around your arms and shoulders. 

“What if they end up like me?” He whispers, pain and anger in his voice. “Cursed?” 

It never occurred to you that your child might be different, despite the breaking of Messmers abyssal curse, he was still a demi-god and still had some serpent-omen in him. You think for a moment, but shake your head.

“Would your love change if they were?” you ask him. He shakes his head, amber eyes shining up at you. 

“Never, I am nay my mother, I would love them till my dying breath.” He shivers, tears lining his eyes. “I still wish for her to blesseth our child.” Messmer gently rubs your swollen stomach and you cover his hand with yours. You both stand in silence and listen to the wind, you feel the warmth of the sun on your back, you let the magic flow through your veins. 

You feel a whisper in the back of your mind, something tickling the base of your skull. You cannot decipher the words but you feel calm and reassured for a moment. Messmer leans his forehead to your belly, you hear him mutter some ancient text but you don’t understand. You let him wash away his fears, his doubts, his anger. 

He kisses your stomach and you feel the little one kick. Messmer slowly stands and reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small knife. He grasps one of his braids that also has a ribbon entwined with the strands, one you picked for him, and slices it free from his form. He holds it in his palm, he stares at it as if waiting for it to set aflame. 

Shaking his head from his thoughts, he lets Ophis and Fidi flick their tongues to the strand, he then brings it to his own lips and kisses it tenderly and then to you. It smells like him and it softens your stiff muscles. 

Messmer kneels again and places the braid beneath the statue, alongside a golden braid you missed. Marika’s. 

He mutters ancient words again and finally stands tall and slithers his arm around your back.

“Let’s get thee back side.” he begins to lead you away. You pause and look out at the meadow. 

“I wish to stay a little longer.” 

***

“Nine, Ten. Ready or nay, hereth I come!” Messmer calls out into the seemingly empty castle, his voice echoing between the walls. He treads carefully as if to not make any noise. 

He looks behind curtains, tugging the fabric away from the walls. He instructs Ophis and Fidi to remain low to the ground and under furniture. His smile beams as he plods through the hallway and into the dinning room. 

He hears giggles coming from somewhere, the gentle laughter echoing through the halls. 

Tip-toeing he steps around the grand dinner table, asking Ophis and Fidi if they see anything. They shake their heads no. Messmer furrows his brow and exits the room. He slowly steps to the sun-room, the room is filled with wooden toys, books and garlands of all sorts of colours. He peaks behind the sofa, nothing. He looks in the cupboard, empty. 

Another string of giggles causes him to spin around, he feels Ophis tug as she rises towards the ceiling and looks around the chandelier. She returns and shakes her head. A small twang of worry shoots through Messmer.

“Thou art a very good hider!” He calls out, voice shaking. He exits the room and quickens his paces as he marches back through the hallway, he hears another giggle and spins around. He hears rustling from the corner behind the starway. His old mantle is in a pile on the floor, the fabric twitches and he smiles to himself. 

“Oh, I do not recall leaving my clothes here.” Messmer smiles harder and steps over to the fabric pile. “I shall need to get it washed immediately!”

He scoops up the mantel and inside comes a high-pitched squeal. 

“That is truly bizarre. I don't recall my clothes making such noises.” he grabs the mantle and pulls it away. Coiled under the fabric, a little girl wriggles and screams. 

“You foundeth me!” Your little girl calls out, arms flying outwards and wrapping around Messmers neck. He laughs and pulls the girl close, planting kisses to her bright copper hair. She pulls away, her golden snake eyes shimmer in the light. Messmer feels he sees a copy of himself. But, she looks just like you. 

“That I did, little one.” He kisses her cheek before settling her down on the ground. 

“Daddy is good at finding me!” The girl calls out and jumps up and down. “Again!” 

Before Messmer could reply, she runs off out of view down the hall. 

Behind him, he hears a warmer soft laugh, he turns and sees you standing at the top of the stairs with two children perched on both hips, one asleep while the other coos and squeals when they see Messmer. 

“Dada!” cries the toddler. Messmer hurries up the stairs, arms out and fingers motioning to grab one of the twins. 

“My love, here let me helpeth.” He scoops up the bouncing toddler. He plants a kiss to his golden hair before leaning down to kiss the other sleeping toddler. He strokes her hair that matches yours. Finally, he moves to you smiling from ear to ear. You reach your free hand to his cheek and stroke his cheekbone. He leans forward and kisses you tenderly. 

“I love our little family.” you whisper into the kiss. Ophis and Fidi nudge your cheek and flick out their tongues at the children. 

He looks down at his children, he hears the yell from his other little girl from down the hall. “Daddy, come find me!” and he looks at you laughing. 

“I adore them too, my love.”

***

Messmer grabs your wrist as you walk past one of the empty rooms. You let out a squeal as you’re dragged inside. Before you could register what was going on, Messmer shoves you to the door and slams it shut. Leaning down he captures your lips in a passionate kiss. Tongues and hands crowd you. 

You hum against his mouth, eyes wide, but you feel your cunt warm and slowly turn wet. 

He pulls away from your lips, trailing kissing over your jaw and down your neck. 

“Messmer!” you pant out, already out of breath, “The children!” 

He chuckles into your warming skin, slowly kneeling before you. He paws at your breast, his other hand cupping your hip and squeezing your plump flesh. He loves that you’ve gained weight since birthing your children. He loves to squeeze and knead at you. 

Wiggling, you feel him smack your ass gently and tut. 

“I’ll be quick” he looks up at you and his eyes are blown out black, filled with lust. Before you could protest, he flicks your skirt over his head and dives straight for your pussy. He kisses your mound and thighs, letting his tongue taste your salty skin. 

“Messmer!” you try and push his head away but he doesn’t budge. Instead you grab the door behind you and hoist your leg over his shoulder. You feel him chuckle into inner thigh. 

“That’s right my love.” 

He licks one long stripe up your wet folds, tasting you. Not even giving you a second to think, he sucks your clit between his lips, tongue flicking out to lick the sensitive bud. Your hips thrust to meet his licks. You let out a rather loud moan and slap your hand over your mouth. His fingers dig harshly into your skin, keeping you still as he suckles you. 

You already feel close to your orgasm, your heart beats heavy in your chest as you hear Messmer’s obscene slurping and grunts under your skirt. You feel your thighs start to shake as he brings you to your climax. He nips at your clit, you swear you can feel him smiling. 

“Come for me” he mutters as he plunges two fingers deep within your fluttering hole without warning. You yelp into your palm as he furiously fucks you with his fingers, pounding into your sweet spot over and over. Closing your eyes, you see stars as you orgasm hard, clenching around his slender fingers and feel slick drip around them. He doesn’t let up, licking at your swollen pulsating bud like it's his last time. 

“Mess-Messmer, please” you beg. He finally pops off your clit, crawling out from under your skirts. His chin and lips glistening with your slick, he wipes it off with the hem of your skirt and you frown at him, slapping his shoulder. 

He stands over you, pressing you into the door, his throbbing erection rubs against your stomach. You quickly look down at it tenting his tunic, wrapped around his waist, dangerously low. You cock your eyebrow at him and he smirks. You open your mouth to speak, he sharply turns you around and your face presses into the wooden door. He cups your ass and squeezes.

You let out a moan as you feel your skirt being lifted over your ass. You shake your head and turn to look at him over your shoulder.

“You’re too tall for that” you comment. He merely grunts at you. He drops your skirt and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you from the door and towards a nearby loveseat. He drops you in front of an arm-rest, higher than a normal seat, designed for the tall demi-gods. He gently pushes you down, your stomach pressing into the plush fabric. 

Your feet dangle off the edge, your face nearly pressing into the seat. You turn your head just to watch out of the corner of your eye as he flips your skirt back over your waist. He gently draws his long finger up the seam of your pussy. He taps your ass with a gentle slap, not enough to hurt but enough to make you squeak. 

Messmer simply pulls his skirts down past his hips, cock springing free. 

“I’ll be quick.” he mutters, biting his lip.

He runs his incredible length over your wet folds, coating him in slick before sinking into you slowly. You’ve become accustomed to his size, he easily slots into you with ease. You let out a sigh as he brushes past your pleasure spots. 

He lingers deep inside for a moment, letting you adjust before he pulls back and slammed back into you, each thrust faster than the next. 

You pant, drool seeping out the side of your mouth onto the plush velvet fabric below. Messmer grunts at each thrust, you hear him rumble deep in his chest as he pounds into you.

It didn’t take long till you felt his hips shudder and falter, the twitch of his cock signalling he was close. His thick heavy balls tap your swollen clit beautifully. Your walls start to flutter as you draw close to your second orgasm. A few harsh pounds later, you clamp down around his thick cock, sucking him in. Loudly you moan out, calling his name over and over till you feel his thick cock pulse inside you. Messmer throws his head back as he cums inside you, thick seed coating your walls, a little dribbling out from your abused hole. 

He lets himself come back to reality. He leans over you, rocking his hips into your very sensitive pussy a few more times before planting a kiss to your forehead. He pulls out of you slowly, you both moan at the loss of contact. 

He pulls his skirts back over his softened cock and looks at you, bent over, ass red and thighs shaking. His cum dripped down your seam and over your clit. He swears he feels himself twitch already at the sight alone. 

He gives you one last tap on the ass before he covers you with your skirt. He helps you up back over the armrest, and you flop onto the sofa, out of breath and face flushed. You can feel his seed dripping out of you, coating your inner thigh. 

Messmer smiles at you and struts out of the room, a cocky sway to his hips. 

***

You sit on your shared bed, three children and two snakes coiled around them are slowly falling asleep, a fire cracking from the fireplace. Snow falls gently outside the window and falls onto the balcony. Messmer holds you from behind, you feel his chest rising and falling with each breath, his hand coiled around your waist and resting on your swollen stomach. 

You turn the final page, taking in a deep breath, filled with happiness, love and content. 

"Then, he was transformed back into a handsome Prince.” You let out a breathy laugh. You turn to Messmer, he kisses your forehead. “They fell in love and married soon after.”

You close the book quietly, resting into Messmer’s hold. 

“And they all lived, Happily Ever After.”

The End. 

[kometqh]

Comfort Touch

╰┈➤ Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

╰┈➤ Warnings: fluff turned to light spice

╰┈➤ Summary: What happens when amidst a fight you forget your date with Ethan?

╰┈➤ Word Count: 1.7k

Jazz music and various voices filled the crowded restaurant, the aroma of different Italian dishes mixed together and wafted through the space, and the clang of utensils on plates seemed to be too loud for his thoughts.

Ethan sat at a small, wooden rounded table in a faraway corner of the restaurant, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram and furiously tapping his foot on the floor, listening to the mild chatter. The long, taper candle in front of him gently swayed its flame and crackled from time to time.

He agreed to meet at 7PM sharp, and yet he arrived about ten minutes early, nervously nodding his head as the waitress assigned to his table attempted small talk.

'Yeah, I've got a date! I'm very nervous haha', is all he said, her words falling on deaf ears as he continued wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans before being led to the table he had reserved.

And now, it was just a minute before seven, and his heart was beating rapidly, thoughts running wild and eyes looking around the room, his phone long forgotten as his hands fidgeted with the table cloth.

The sound of heels clacking against the hardwood floor caught his attention.

Time seemed to slow down, voices turned into white noise as the sound of his own heartbeat turned him into a deaf man.

Her long, burgundy red dress hung on by two thin straps, revealing her shoulders and collarbone, and the soft fabric embraced her curves before coming to a loose end at her ankles.

Her hands clutched tightly onto the strap of a small handbag, and her eyes looked around the place nervously, skipping from head to head, in search for one particular man, as she came to a stop at the admissions desk.

He stood up from his seat, suddenly feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over him as he realised how underdressed he was for the occasion, cladded in a simple white t-shirt, black denim jeans and a black denim jacket.

For his very first, and certainly not last, date with his crush. The most beautiful, smart and funny woman he has ever laid his eyes upon.

Her bright, wide open eyes met his, and the corners of her mouth tugged upwards as the waitress led her to their table. Her cheeks had a red tint to them, one that seemed to match the colour of her dress in intensity.

Ethan's body stiffened, his mouth went dry, his palms suddenly felt clammy and sweaty, as if he hadn't been wiping them every 15 seconds on his trousers since his arrival. He moved away from his seat, and closer to her only to stop by her chair, moving it out before she could do so herself.

The waitress placed two sets of menus in front of them, saying she'll be back in a couple of minutes to take their orders.

You slowly took in a deep breath, fidgeting with the edge of the white tablecloth, waiting for him to speak, or to at least stop staring.

A long minute passed before he cleared his throat, and scratched the back of his neck, snapping back to reality.

"You look beautiful, Y/n." He said quietly, looking down at his lap, making a poor attempt at hiding his blushing face.

You chuckled, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear.

"You don't look too bad yourself," you retorted, reaching for the drinks menu, "though I must say, you really made an effort." You continued, restraining a chuckle as the blush on his face intensified in colour.

"What can I say? My wardrobe mostly consists of sweatpants and flannels," he responded, smiling lightly, "Chad had to drag me out to at least buy something."

You smiled, making eye contact as Ethan looked over the menu too, his hand finding it's way up onto the table and to your own hand, the other flipped the page as he read.

The two of you ordered your foods and continued chatting throughout the entire night, and as he walked you back home, he had asked to go on another date soon. That led to multiple dates over the span of a few weeks, which led up to now.

Ethan nervously stood at your door, pacing back and forth as he waited for you to come out. He could hear your voice shouting, which caused anxiety to creep into him.

He knocked on the door again, and this time your voice went silent. He could hear you approaching the door as you stomped towards it.

The door swung open, and he was met with your tear-struck face and frown. He had never seen you like this, and it felt as though his heart was being squeezed in an imaginary palm. The bouquet of your favourite flowers that he held were lowered down to his thigh, and his eyebrows scrunched up closer as he stepped inside.

"Ethan? Why are you here?" You asked, stepping back, your breath shallow and voice strained. Had you forgotten?

"I came to pick you up? For our date?" He asked uncertainly, closing the door behind him. He placed the flowers on the floor, and moved his hands to your face, thumbs gently wiping away the tears, he continued, "Is everything okay? I heard shouting."

You shook your head, grasping his hand with your own, looking away.

"Yeah. Everything's okay. But I don't think I'm in the state to go out." You said, attempting to lighten the mood as you sniffled.

Your eyes moved to look into his, and your gut twisted as you saw the worry in those chocolatey-brown eyes.

His lips were parted as though he wanted to say something, but the words were stuck in his throat.

He shook his head and pulled you into a hug. You sniffled and stifled a sob, stuffing your face into his shoulder, letting silent cries out.

"We can watch a movie? You can choose. We don't have to talk about it if you don't feel like it love." He said quietly, his large hand gently stroking your hair, twirling random strands around his finger as he comforted you.

After a minute or two. you lifted your head, nodding at his earlier suggestion. The fabric of his sweater was now stained wet with your tears, but that didn't seem to bother him.

"I'll grab you a shirt, come." You said, tugging at his hand as you led him to your room. Your roommate, Anika, was on a night out with her girlfriend, so the two of you had the entire apartment to yourselves.

Ethan shook his head, and pulled you to face him.

"Go sit on the couch baby, I'll grab your duvet and I'll make some food okay?" He asked, cradling your face in his hands, his eyes searching yours for an answer. When he received none, he continued to walk with you to the living room, gently pushing you to sit on the couch.

In just a couple of minutes, he had brought over your duvet and two pillows, and now you were looking for a movie on Netflix as he stood in the kitchen, shoving some popcorn into the microwave.

His footsteps resonated within the room, and before you knew it, the two of you were in each others arms, sat up and watching Twilight.

Upon Ethan's suggestion of course.

It was one of those movies that could awaken your inner Mindy, the over-analyser and critic, all in one.

Your eyes were solely focused on the TV, Bella's dialogue filling the otherwise quiet room.

Ethan stared at you instead, brushing his fingers along the side of your arm, occasionally placing soft kisses on your neck and cheek, brushing the tip of his nose against your skin, muttering sweet nothings and whispers of comfort, as well as a couple of 'I love you's'.

Your breathing had steadied, and your tears eventually came to an end. The beeping of the microwave cut through the silence, but it was ignored by you both.

Only 10 minutes in, and you were already laying down, facing Ethan as you two mindlessly stared into each others eyes.

"Do you...wanna talk about it?" Ethan asked, a soft tone accompanying his voice, his eyes searching yours.

Exhaling loudly, you closed your eyes and nodded.

"It was my older sister. She was mad over something and projected it onto me." You said quietly, lips quivering at the thought of her harsh voice, spewing insults at you over something her fiancée had done.

"I'm sorry, I completely forgot about the date. I'll make it up to you okay?" You asked before placing a light kiss on his lips. Ethan nodded, smiling, and laced his fingers into your hair, pulling your face back to his as he deepened the kiss.

A gasp left your lips, and you shifted a bit, with Ethan moving to lean over you slightly, the movie long forgotten.

Your hands glided over his chest, feeling his abs through the soft fabric of his sweater. They were the remedy to your sadness. Satisfying to the touch and to the eyes.

Ethan supported himself above you, propping himself up on his elbow above your head, whilst his other hand stroked your cheek, then slowly slid down to gently grip at your neck, just how you liked it, rubbing at the soft skin with his thumb.

After a long moment, it continued its way down, down your chest and to the hem of your shirt, where his fingers lifted the material and traced circles into the skin of your stomach.

Your own hands flew up to his curls, scrunching them in your grasp, grazing your nails lightly against his scalp before tugging at the roots lightly, earning a gasp from the male.

Ethan smirked into the kiss, his hand caressing your waist. Your skin felt hot under his touch, and the argument from earlier evaporated from your head under the heat of the kiss.

The two of you continued for what seemed like forever, but were soon interrupted by the beeping of the microwave.

You pulled away, and Ethan half groaned, half moaned, licking his lips. You giggled and stared into his eyes as his hand tucked away strands of your hair. Smiling, you whispered,

"I think you should get the popcorn."

[stxneflxwers]

hardest of hearts.

⋯⁂ summary. zhongli is at last free from his duties as archon, but it doesn't keep him from thinking of little doubts about if he had should committed to all of this...

⋯⁂ a/n. may be some errors regarding this part of liyue's archon quest but whatever, we're gonna have to live with it. 👍 this idea also went all over the place but pls try to enjoy it 🙏

⋯⁂ characters. zhongli. gn adeptus reader.

⋯⁂ cw. partially OOC zhongli. reverse hurt/comfort. takes place during the liyue archon quest. FIRST KISS WOO YEAH ⋯⁂ wc. 700+

coming over to your home in the harbor the night of his faked death, zhongli feels a smallest bits of adrenaline coursing through his veins. such a strange feeling. a feeling he's never really gotten used to, even after so many years later. he's more often cold and calculated than warm and pliant when it comes to his own emotions.

he doesn't notice his breaths are rather labored until you open the door and point it out with worry on your features and in your voice. but you don't give him time to react to his own "mistake." instead, you tug him into your house and swiftly shut the door behind him...

"you look a little fatigued. what's wrong?" you ask, guiding him to the kitchen before sitting him down at the table.

so forceful, he thinks, but he doesn't mind one bit - even when you grab him by the shoulders and push him down to sit.

"oh, that's right, today's that day..." you whisper to yourself, "sorry, i didn't mean to forget, m'lord—" "zhongli." he corrects softly, his laden eyes looking up at you with a strange sleepiness to them.

"heh, seems i'm full of mistakes today, hm?" you snort at your second mistake, "anyway, zhongli... you look very tired. would you like some tea?"

"yes, please. i've hardly had the chance to indulge in some today." he cracks a smile.

"any flavor you want?"

"...surprise me."

"hehe, will do!" you nod and stride over to the kitchen counters and stove nearby, beginning to prepare the "surprise" tea.

he watches you, but he refuses to admit to even himself that he's mostly dissociating from reality right now. his hand props up his head, his gilded eyes glued to you, but not registering any of your moving or humming.

you catch glances at him, but never say anything - waiting for him to open up on his own terms. with the fifth glance at him - when you turn back toward him after facing the oven - you finally notice his thousand-yard stare. you smile wearily.

striding up to him, you - with some initial hesitance - run a hand along his back, rubbing softly. this helps him a little bit, barely managing to snap him out of his daze.

"ah..." he flusters a little, blinking on repeat for a few moments, "my apologies. did you need something?" he glances up at you, his voice eerily quieter than usual.

"no. but it sure seems like you need something." you raise a brow as your head tilts. your hand stays flat against his back, halting its rubbing except for your thumb - which draws circles against him.

"hardly..." he clears his throat with his obvious lie.

"riiiight." you shake your head, "let me guess..." you hum in thought, "you're not sure if this was a wise choice to go through with. am i right?"

"...you are as perceptive as ever, i see." he mumbles, glancing away. "but, yes, i suppose that's the case."

"if it's any consolation, i believe you're doing your best. only time will tell if this is what's best for you." you advise, voice soft and sweet as powdered sugar.

"my best isn't—"

"it is enough. it's time you start believing that, i think. you've done your best for thousands of years. quit doubting yourself." you scold.

"i... alright, i will...do my best, then." he nods.

"thank you. i like it when you listen to me for once."

he scoffs lightly, "is that so?"

"correct." you grin and nod before patting his back firmly. you then straighten your back and begin to move to check the teapot. he grabs your hand. "yes?" you stare at him from over your shoulder.

you hardly have any time to react before he kisses the top of your hand, "you are the sweetest treasure. and, darling, i've loved you since the start." he rises to his full height, locking eyes with you.

"m-me—?"

"correct." he smiles, "there are many words i could say that would define your person; such as perceptive, empathetic, understanding, charming—"

"...actions speak louder than words, zhongli." you smile wearily.

"of course. so, allow me to demonstrate..."

his hands slide up from your arms to your face, cradling your jaw and cheeks in each hand. he tilts your head a little bit to the side before pressing his lips against your own. while you mentally trip over your own feet, you don't resist his affections - in fact, you return them in full.

"...i love you, too, silly zhongli." you murmur against his lips, causing him to break out into a smile.

"and i love you more. thank you, my darling beloved."

[eldritch-spouse]

Journal entries from Shag's Obsession.

(forgive for any grammar errors or ooc. Yes, I'm the same writer for the Sleep Inn short and the demon queens documentary shorts. Enjoy!)

Day 1 ⚫

Today, I was in the forest taking photos for inspiration for my artwork. I thought I was alone until I saw a strange shadowy figure nearby. At first, I thought it was a person, so I wanted to be friendly and say hello until I realized the closer, I got, the taller and gangly-like it becomes. It looked like it was wearing some kind of robe, and a funny hat. It looked like it was covered in tar from head-to-toe. I attempted to get a closer look to see what it was up to, but it looked up in my direction and I quickly stopped moving. I prayed it didn't find me. Who knows what'll happen. I took a peek to see if was still there, but it was gone. I got home soon as possible to draw the creature I saw, but all the adrenaline was making my hands shaking.

*bottom of page is a crude drawing of Shags*

Day 2 ⚫

I decided to hunt and research the creature from the other day. This encounter inspired me to be a cryptid hunter as a side hobby. This time I'll try to remember to take a photo of that thing in the forest. I ⚫ hope I'll encounter it again. ⚫

I returned home with no luck of finding it. I noticed some black splotches of paint around my home. Upon closer look it looks and smells like ink. Probably some dumb teenagers pulling a prank.

Day 3

I saw it today! I made sure to quickly and quietly take some photos of it before it disappears again. It was carrying a bag while walking. I swear I saw it moved a little. Maybe it's some rabbit. I noticed as it walks it leaves drops of black stuff on the ground. I wanted to follow it but for now I'll grab a sample from that icky stuff its dripping.

day 4

I decided to name the cryptid "Ink Man". I couldn't hunt today. Too tired. I had trouble sleeping last night because I heard noises outside of my window. Hard to say, it sounded like breathing and claws tapping. The last thing I saw before I slept was a looming shadow by my window. ⚫

I dreamt of a tall figure shrouded in black as the void. It looked like ⚫the Ink Man. It stood over me while I laid in bed. I couldn't move. Is this my first paralysis demon experience? It was breathing so heavily and reached out it's spindly hands and brushed them over my legs. It felt so creepy it felt like spiders walking all over me. This was the most vivid dream I ever had.

Day 5

This time I went back into the forest for more research of the Ink Man. I saw it sitting on a stump, eating something. Kinda smells good like chicken. I quickly took some more photos before he or (she?) noticed me. I continued to watch the ink man's activities afterward. The Ink man mostly foraged stuff whatever is fascinated with and puts in their bag.

I later learned the Ink man is indeed a man due to his... certain needs.

Day 6

I have no luck finding the Ink Man's home whenever I follow it. It seems to disappear whenever I turn a corner. Every time I try to follow it, he disappears without trace. My theory is that it's a fairy, not a cryptid.

My home is covered in black paint again and I just washed it all off! Damn teenagers again. I noticed there are some paint marks that is starting to look abstract images. Some look like people. And... hearts? I noticed there is alot of paint smudges near my windows.

Day 7 ⚫

It's raining outside. No searching today. I just noticed there's alot of black paint smudges on my journal. Not only that, but I've also been seeing some paint smudges around my home. Did one of my pens broke? And I could have sworn some of my art pieces have been missing, did I move them?

Day 8

I went outside to start my search again. Right outside my front door is a picture on the ground. I picked it up and took a closer look and saw it was a nicely drawn sketch of... Is- is that me sleeping in my bed!? My stomach twists and I feel sick. What sicko drew this!? I turn the page over. On the other side is what looks like to be a signature from the artist. If I read correctly, it said "Shags"? With a heart next to it. Tomorrow I'm reporting this to the police.

It's nighttime. I can't sleep knowing someone is watching me. I made ⚫sure the windows are covered and locked the doors and windows. I've been staring at these photos of the Ink man for more clues. I hear noises outside. It sounds like and animal. Maybe that stalker is back again. I'm grabbing my bat for defense before I go outside.

⚫

(the black dots are supposed to be ink drops from Shags peeking)

Great stuff! Though I think answering this ask might deform the placement of the dots, which is saddening. If it does, I want people reading to know they had different sizes and were more evenly spread, which made it look really creative!

That aside, I love how our crypto zoologist apprentice here has about as many braincells as a horror movie protagonist (which are zero, and a half-eatrn tic tac). This man I saw covered in ink-like black tar from head to toe is so creepy! Man I sure wish the teenagers weren't spreading ink around my house...

I think Shags is reading this diary and seriously worrying for his inkling's cognitive abilities. He's being anything but subtle, and you're writing about him like he's some kind of animal incapable of deciding he wants to visit your own living space. Gods, he flashed you his dick on at least one occasion.

He's ripping that sketch of him on the first page, and will be mildly depressed if he finds you discarded his.

[bluntforcefem]

the thing is, right. that i wrote 75 fics for blaseball. more, if you count tumblr prompts - more if you count wiki pages. over the course of late 2020 to the very beginning of 2023, i wrote more for blaseball than i have for anything else, except maybe my friends' oc rp. maybe i'll never write that much for fandom again. my writing developed so much over that period of time - blaseball gave me a lot of inspiration and a lot of practice!! i met incredible writers through it who inspire me so much To This Day. i met incredible people with incredible ideas. i still lurk around in the crabitat, because the community there is lovely and i love looking for secondhand recommendations in the media channels. i could list a lot of regulars i've just... seen around, for about 2, 3 years. blaseball offered me both the opportunity to grow as a writer and the opportunity to find communities that, even if some of them fell apart, taught me a lot of things anyways. i'm still in contact with a lot of people i met through blaseball, and that's fucking lovely!!

i can't say i'm sad it's over. i guess i'm a little sad. but blaseball's been dying for a while, now, and it's the kinda thing you sorta see on the horizon. i'm one of the people who distanced themself from it before it came, and i'm a little grateful to my past self for that - i've got so much going on that i don't have quite enough room for a "i just moved across the country and also tot clark died in my funny game so i'm going to lose it for 5 hours" kind of night. i still have everything that matters. the experience, the community, the funny little guys. but blaseball did a lot for me, so i wanted to say goodbye. here's goodbye.

there is a radio.

sometimes it's in the crabitat. sometimes it's in other stadiums, darkened locker rooms slowly collecting dust; maybe there's the occasional visitor, casting light across worn benches, footsteps leaving imprints on the tile. but there's less and less visitors.

most of the time, it's at home.

you can tune it, if you're careful. it likes to play what it wants, though, and so not-players-mostly-people just let it go, when they find it - whatever jaunty commentator/clawmentator voice it wants to remind them of, games stretching from the very first season to the very last, it gets to do that. it keeps playing, however distorted by static it gets.

time goes on.

there are less people to visit, as time goes on. some people grow old and die. some people don't die, but they do move on, and the radio knows it'd be an unwelcome reminder. but there's always a handful to visit, to comfort, to celebrate with. immortals at a graveyard that used to be a field with strings of pearls in their pockets. the handful of players that kept playing, in the after, maybe other splorts or other games - but they kept playing, and they had fun, eventually. parties of people that used to be on different teams and now just share jerseys like old sweaters, trading stories of how their hometowns have changed since it ended.

sometimes the radio sticks around with someone for a while. sometimes it changes hands every day, every hour, switching its tune to match. sometimes nobody sees it for a very long time, and sometimes people forget it exists entirely. but it always comes back for a visit. a little memory, a little burst of joy-in-static. hello- hello- blaseball fans!

there is a radio. it's lasted for a long time, and it'll last for a while longer, even in the absence of blaseball itself. it lasted through ascension, after all. it lasted through siesta after siesta after siesta.

there is a radio, and there is a world moving on from blaseball.

there is a radio, and there is the lilt of old words, phrases quickly becoming antiquated, kept alive through pick-ups and muscle memory.

there is a radio, and there are people who used to be players.

there is a radio, and there are people who used to be fans, who still are fans, who still will be fans.

there is a radio, and it still loves.

there is a radio, and it still is loved.

(that's all for today's game, folks!)

there is a radio.

[elvenbeard]

2071

"Had to drive a thousand miles just to realize that this is where I belong... This is my home. I'm so fuckin' stupid."

"Some mistakes you gotta make, hermano. How else're you s'pposed to learn from them?"

Vince left Night City for a little less than a year in 2070. He'd burned too many bridges, in Charter Hill, in Kabuki... There seemed nothing left for him to gain, nowhere deeper to sink. Also, his mother had tracked him down two years into his hiding from her. Even though they parted ways somewhat amicably and Vince did not expect to see her again, a certain level of unrest had accompanied him ever since.

Together with someone he thought he was in love with at the time, he joined the backstage crew of a Korean lazrpop duo touring the NUSA. His actually quite extensive technical knowledge... did not land him the gig. It was mostly the good word put in by his acquaintance that was supposed to get him out of the city. But so, instead of working with the crew's techies, setting up the lights and sound for the impressive shows ahead, he ended up having to haul equipment cases most days.

Needless to say, the experience was underwhelming. Combined with his relationship turning sour halfway into the trip, Vince suffered from the worst homesickness ever - for Night City, of all places, the city and the people that had continued to wrong him so many times over, with their games and intrigues.

One thing though Night City had done very right: Jackie Welles. The first person who sincerely liked Vince for who he was, no ulterior motives. The first true friend whose intentions he no longer doubted, that would have his back no questions asked, and vice versa.

Bonding with him over their shared experiences with abusive parents, Jackie was to Vince the older brother he had never had. Naturally, Jackie was there to pick him up when Vince returned to Night City in 2071, disillusioned, alone, and uncertain about his future more than ever. But Jackie always seemed to know someone or something that could be done to get Vince back on his feet.

Night City had changed as much as Vince had during his short-lived, self-inflicted exile. The Unification War was over, Night City a free city. Most importantly though - unbeknownst to both Vince and Jackie still - the old, powerful corporation that had returned to the city's heart with its new, rebuilt headquarters, would forever change their lives just a few years down the line...

Vince through the years (3/9)

For today's behind the scenes ramblings: a few thoughts on something I've been noticing on my VP journey lately...

No matter where you go... I think in any scenic location near Night City, you can see the Arasaka logo somehwere in the background, and I think it's done very purposefully by the environment designers XD It's either the clover, or the whole word "arasaka" spelled out, glowing somewhere on the side of a building or an ad display. It is often there in important story scenes somewhere, too, subtle in the background, a constant, subconscious reminder to V (you know... apart from the constant, subconscious bickering at the hands of Johnny XD).

Arasaka Tower itself is also extremely prominent, unmistakeable with its shape, whenever I'm taking pics lately that are in slightly elevated locaions I look around to see if I can spot it XD And I chose this spot specifically because it's so nicely visible from there, too...

This was one of my very first shoots with AMM - don't think I ever shared these (and wanna recreate them badly now). Just Vince and Johnny pondering the next move, what they're gonna do and say during the meeting with Hanako, Arasaka Tower in clear view in the distance, almost as if it's taunting them.

This particular spot is very important to Vince... as mentioned, it's where Jackie picked him up after he returned to Night City in 2071, but it's more than that. Jackie showed him the place shortly after they became friends, to give Vince a "different perspective" on Night City he wasn't really aware of then, with his sheltered upbrining and the circles he moved in. It's by the dam, overlooking Rancho Coronado, and in few other places the extreme difference between poverty and wealth appears quite as jarring.

In the years to come after this first visit here, it develops into a favourite meeting spot of Vince and Jackie to discuss all manners of things in quiet and relative private... here is where, just a year later, Vince tells him that he's gonna take on a job at Arasaka 👀 And Vince is drawn back there over and over again, even when Jackie can no longer meet him there.

It's simply where he still feels closest to Jackie, due to so many important conversations they had here...

... and he takes Kerry here, later, too, to get away from the city for a little while, talk about the past and the future.

Sometimes he comes over on his own when he needs some quiet time to think, too. What would Jackie do now? What would he suggest? Does it all even matter in the grand scheme of things? What is really important right now, and what can wait for later?

It's the perfect spot to clear your mind, and gorgeous at every time of day <3

Also, I wrote above that Vince was homesick for Night City... but it was less Night City that he missed, but Jackie's presence.

[avasghost]

foreign birds: update #1

6k into the draft of my new book, and i just realized i haven't written a writing update in over a year since i finished ested. almost forgot how this works. anyways if you missed it, you can find the wip intro here.

disclaimer: this is my original work and plagiarism of any kind will not be tolerated.

TW: suicide, manslaughter, blood, ghosts

here's the playlist because it encapsulates a lot of the vibes, especially the first ~20 songs

so this book is actually going really well! it was kind of a slow start, but i really like what i have so far and it's definitely favourite book concept that i've ever written. the main difficulty is the research, since the book is set in 1973, so there's a lot of googling what motels and convenience stores looked like in the 70s. but i don't mind it since the aesthetic is on point.

the book is written in very short vignette-like chapters, interspersed with full-length ones. there are technically four timelines that we go between, but two main timelines. the primary timeline is the storyline of martin after he returns to his hometown after accidentally killing gabriel, and moving in with rainey. the secondary timeline is the present, after his suicide, where his ghost observes rainey continuing with her life when he returns to haunt the house where they lived together. the other two more minor timelines are 1) flashbacks to martin at college and the development of his relationship with gabriel before gabriel's death and 2) flashbacks to martin's childhood, growing up in his hometown and why he never wanted to go back. its kind of complicated but its really cool and fun to write.

chapters & excerpts under the cut!

CHAPTER 1

the book opens with martin's suicide, which marks the beginning of the secondary timeline (his life as a ghost). it's pretty short so i'll just put the entire chapter here.

It was the hollow of night when I died. The sky was flat and weighty with clouds, street invisible, no moon. I shot myself point-blank in the quiet solitude of our living room, the refrigerator’s hum pulsing in the background. I tilted the barrel to my chin and pulled the trigger with a shaking hand, and I can say now that I’m gone, that I was thinking of you with the last frenzied ticking of my thoughts. I can also say that I’m sorry, for the things I told you that night, but mostly that I didn’t tell you sooner. Your face in the dark, eyes like two moons reflected by the soft jitter of a candle flame. The gunshot rang through the silence of the living room and the bullet burrowed into my skull. The last thing I felt was a spatter of blood—blood on my hands, blood in my mouth, blood on the damask carpet—and then everything fell away. I watched from the corner of the room when you found me seconds later, startled by the gunshot, riled from sleep. You in your nightgown, your red hair feral and static’d around your head. You knelt beside my head and cried until your face distorted and you didn’t look real. I can only hope you don’t remember me dead and bloodied more vividly than you remember me living.

i think that might be the second saddest thing i've ever written ok onto the next chapter.

CHAPTER 2

In the main timeline, we follow martin as he leaves campus early in the morning following gabriel's death and travels home. he books into a motel and is sad and hungover. this is the longest chapter so far, at 2,371 words.

the chapter opens with:

The day after I killed Gabriel was the day I decided to return home for the summer. I packed quickly in the lampshade of blue light that sept through my dormitory window, a headache ringing in my skull, the haze of tiredness making the room tilt as I shoved my few belongings into boxes and hauled them outside.

here's a bit from when he's driving out of the city, featuring the "you" that is rainey

It wasn’t like I meant to kill Gabriel. I should tell you that first, before my reputation is tarnished. I could never have killed him. I probably could never have killed anyone. Too much to lose, too much at risk. It was never a matter of blood on my hands, that didn’t matter, or at least that was what I thought as cityscape flattened into little towns, until massive skyscrapers and supermarkets turned into diners with neon signs and thrift stores and whitewashed steepled churches. I couldn't have felt less guilty than I did that morning, despite the hangover and the absence Gabriel’s death had suddenly bored into my head. He was gone. He was gone. He was never coming back.

shortly after:

My car ran out of gas halfway through a tiny rural town, ringed by a grayscale of mountains. The sky had lightened, and now stretched blankly above my head, bone-white and stark, like an empty room. The sun, pocketed in clouds, was almost invisible.

he goes into a convenience store (because there's something about convenience stores) and then arrives home and checks into a motel.

I had hardly slept in the past twenty-four hours, after lying awake for most of the night, listening to the hum of silence in my dorm room. Gabriel’s face like a ghost splotching against the darkness, a furrow in the static, something recognizable. Despite knowing where his body was, I felt his eyes on my as I sweat between my bedsheets, hair slicked to the pillow, heart scudding sharp and fast.

he tries to go to sleep but wakes up with an even worse headache and goes outside for a smoke. while he's outside he sees his old choir leader walk by, and goes back inside because he doesn't want to be seen by anyone.

I couldn’t even remember her name and she probably didn’t recognize me, with my overgrown hair and half-obscured face, but I immediately snuffed out the cigarette in my sleeve, ash cascading onto my shoes, and ducked back inside into the orange light.

CHAPTER 3

the next morning, martin gets dressed, decides no one will recognize him, and walks down to the beach.

I remembered walking down this sidewalk with my mom when we headed to her friend Mary’s house every other Wednesday, how I’d align my feet with the cracks that snaked through the asphalt like lightning. I stepped on the cracks now, peering at the house where Mary used to live, the empty driveway and shuttered windows. She was probably dead now, the breast cancer my mom had told me about finally catching up to her. It didn’t bother me like it might have then, didn’t bother me at all. I didn’t know any of these people anymore. I wasn’t obligated to mourn their loss.

he sees two women sitting under an umbrella on the beach but doesn't recognize them so he ignores them. here's one of many beach descriptions

The sand gritted beneath my shoes as I stepped off of the grass, grains sticking to the laces and sea spray wasping into my mouth. I spat it out, salt ringing on my tongue. The ocean sloshed, rims of foam pearling across the tiny waves. A kid in bright red swim trunks crouched in the dark sand where the tide had been, shoveling a grave-sized hole in the soft the sand. His mother reclined in a beach chair nearby, her face covered by a large tartan sun-hat.

and here's another beach description

I folded up the legs of my bell-bottoms and waded in almost knee-deep. Plumes of seaweed laced against my ankles like living creatures. I peered into the murky grey of the water at the minnows darting around underneath, black shadows I could only see if I looked closely. The briny air feathered into my face and blew my hair into my mouth. I spat it out and winced around, wind searing my eyes. The women beneath the umbrella were watching me, but were still too grainy to recognize, like a blurry camera shot. I waded back to shore. The sand under my wet feet felt like contamination, but I hopscotched my way back to the strip of grass to wipe them off in the prickly cold. “Holy shit, Martin, I thought it was you.”

so it turns out the woman under the umbrella is martin's sister, jasmine, who's there with her girlfriend, eliza. martin is happy to see jasmine, who he always got along with better than the rest of his family, but tells her not to tell anyone else he's back.

here's some dialogue

"What are you doing here?” My throat dried, suddenly rough and scratchy. Sand was still imprinted to my shins, digging into my skin. “It’s a long story.” “Well that’s not very satisfying.” “All I can say is that it was time to come home. Don’t tell mom and dad I’m back yet, please. Or Leander. I’m not ready to talk to them yet.” “Were you ready to talk to me?” “No. But apparently I can’t avoid everyone.” “It’s a small town, man,” said Jasmine. “Alright, I’ll keep your secret. It would be nice to catch up though. You just look so … I didn’t recognize you. It was just that Eliza liked your shirt.”

CHAPTER 4

this is the first chapter we have the goes back to the earliest timeline, which follows martin growing up in their town as a child. and no the town doesn't have a name yet and i need to come up with one. chapter four is about when his mother became catholic and brought his family to mass for the first time, and he has mixed feelings about it.

My mother was raised Catholic and had recently reconverted. She started wearing a crucifix tucked into her blouses, the chain leaving a red mark stamped into her neck. She made us hold hands around the dinner table to pray, and got us to memorize Our Father to recite every night before bed. My father was skeptical at first but came around slowly, as the house slowly filled with crosses nooked in odd places and colourful pictures of saints plastered to the refrigerator. My mother kept my favourite rosary in the drawer of her nightstand, and sometime I’d sneak into their bedroom just to look at it, to twist the blood-red and midnight-blue beads between my fingers, feel their imagined hum, the holiness I couldn’t feel but knew had to be there. I thumbed the silver crucifix, the tiny metal man, his painted-on blood and crown of thorns. He didn’t look dead, not with his hanging head and the way his body rested, didn’t strain. He looked like he was sleeping.

i don't have any other excerpts for this chapter because the rest of it is kind of boring.

CHAPTER 5

shifting back into the secondary timeline, right after martin's suicide, where his ghost observes rainey crying over his body and calling body-removal people to take him away. it's in present tense now, since this is where martin is narrating from.

You dial the phone number with shaking fingers, and lean against the wallpaper while the phone rings, eyes set on my body, strewn on the living room floor, my eyes still open, still gaping at the ceiling fan, its silent whirring. Your hair tangles in the phone cord as you speak, voice slurry with sleep and shock. Your eyes are pink and your face is streaked, some tears already crusting to your skin, some leaving glimmering tracks down into the collar of your nightgown. You try to yank your hair free from the cord as the man behind the phone assures you that a team is on their way, to stay calm, not to worry. A knot of red hair is left in the phone cord when you untangle it, and the phone slams to the floor when you try to slot it back onto the receiver. You don’t pick it up.

right after:

The ambulance takes fifteen minutes to arrive. The distant sirens hover just above the silence, hardly breaking the curtain of shock, the static in the air. You sit on the damask carpet, arms curled around your knees, rocking silently, head buried in your arms. Your hair obscures your face, but you continue to jitter in the midnight chill, the moonlight glinting on the windowpane soaking the living room in underwater blue.

he wants to comfort rainey but finds that he can't touch her or communicate with her at all.

some men arrive to take away martin's body and he watches as they carry him outside, and tries to follow but finds he can't leave the house, which is his haunt where he will be stuck forever.

CHAPTER 6

continuing the ghost timeline, martin watches rainey for the rest of the day and tries to go to sleep beside her but can't sleep because he's a ghost.

You don’t get dressed all day and don’t eat and hardly move from where you slump at the kitchen table, fiddling with the napkin holder. When you check the clock, it’s 10:17 pm and the sky is inky through the shutters of the window above the sink. You skirt around the bloodstained carpet, something snagging in your throat as you try to focus on the ceiling, the whirring fan, the water stains. Anything but me. Your birds in their cages watch you disappear into the bedroom and I follow, slipping behind you into the dark right before the door clicks shut.

martin observes the neighbours having a good time in the window across from theirs but rainey shuts the curtains.

here's the end of chapter six:

For the first time, you sleep on my side of the bed, burying your face in my pillow, my scent probably still poignant in the sheets. You must know the last time I was there I knew what I was going to do, knew I was going to leave you. Would have rather left you be but now I’m here, in the dark room, sitting on the edge of the bed, not ruffling the sheets or making a noise. Your red hair laces across my pillow as you begin to sob into it again, the emptiness foreign, unfamiliar. My body heat gone, all that’s left turned cold and still. I lay beside you on top of the sheets, on your side, and lean as close as I can into your warmth but feel nothing.

😭😭😭😭

this entire plot of his ghost wanting to be alive again is basically the saddest thing i could possibly think of and i’m just gonna have to deal with that for the next ~50k words wish me luck.

and on that note, that's all i have so far! i hope you enjoyed the update and if you read this far then you're cool. until next time, goodbye

-- silas

taglist (i just have one for all my wips--ask to be added/removed): @flip-phones @chewingthescenery @ghostsofmemories @dallonwrites @wildswrites @annlillyjose @letsgetsquiggly @strangerays @mel-writes-with-her-dragons @teaandtypewriters @kahaaniyaa @coffeeandcalligraphy @47crayons @writing-is-a-martial-art @childhoodlovers @zoya-writes @pepperdee @oceancold @unorganisedbookshelf @musingsbycaitlin @sunstone-iolite @femmeniism @raywritesstories @rodentwrites @cheerfulmelancholies @these-starrynights

[dearmrsawyer]

had a v nice time watching xmen at brother's gf's house, its the first time i've been to her house, she has 100 cats and i got to meet them all <33 we ordered indian and my dish was sooooo good. i'm back home now, it's almost 1:30 so i need to try and get some sleep. i've been sleeping really badly for a long time now, i think its just a side effect of everything i've been carrying, i have never been a very good sleeper but i used to be a heavier sleeper. i've been waking up at least four or five times every night for the last few months, sometimes it takes me a couple of hours to get back to sleep because my mind starts turning. sometimes i don't go back to sleep. hopefully its late enough that i can pass out properly. i need to do something about all the tension in my body, i don't know if i should see a physio or if i need a psychological release. years ago i remember we had some sort of couselling support available through work where we'd get a few free sessions, i'm thinking about asking HR if that arrangement is still in place. i don't want to talk to anyone but i probably should. i just keep thinking about how nonna and nonno caught covid in novemeber and i couldn't help mum take care of them because i needed to stay away, and then mum caught covid in december and i couldn't help her because i needed to stay away, and then mum started having heart troubles before christmas and had to wait two months for her procedure, and she took herself to the hospital in the middle of the night over a dozen times during those months because she felt so bad and i wasn't sure if she was coming home, and on new years day nonna woke up in pain and my brother, who is the strongest, couldn't help us move her around because he was away with his girlfriend for a week, and then mum had her procedure and nonna went back to hospital while i had a friend staying with us, and nonna has been in a lot of discomfort and hasn't left her bed since she came back from hospital a month ago, so taking care of her has been very, very hard. and i don't know how i'm supposed to have handled all of that, but i think i haven't handled it at all. i think i've mostly felt like i was suffocating. i feel like i haven't been able to breathe on a lot of days, there's so much stress in my throat constantly. there have been a lot of days where i just. want to run away. i feel so many things and i feel guilty about all of them. nonna is on a lot of medication right now, we think that we are most likely in the end days. what i need to do is go to sleep, and wake up, and live through the day, and the next, and just, survive this chapter.

[ironwitchau]

So, hello. I'm alive. Before I get started, this is a minor project I've been working on because the brain rot has been... intense. I'll probably also post this to ao3 at some point with some more edits, so if you see it here first and then on ao3 it might be worth a re-read. Idk. Anyway, here's a one shot of an AU that immediately took over my brain and refused to let go. If you see any typos, no you didn't.

The Beast in the Woods:

It was the closest thing to a normal morning as one could get on the TARDIS. Mostly because things like ‘normal’ and ‘morning’ weren't relevant on the TARDIS. But things were calm in the alien ship, and Rose Tyler had just finished a human’s average sleep cycle and stepped into the control room where the Doctor fiddled with the panel, readying the TARDIS to leave the vortex.

They went about their usual banter for the day, if not a little more strained than in days past. The Doctor couldn't really blame the human though. She had been more… restrained after their visit to 1987 London. But anyone would be if they had just watched a member of their family die, even though they tried so hard to save them. So he tried not to think too much about Rose being quieter than he was used to. There was a moment of silence between them as the Doctor debated on where to take them. He was pondering taking her to the universe’s largest library when Rose gave a suggestion.

“We should go on vacation.” She said, leaning against the railing.

“Vacation?” He repeated. Because, was she not already on vacation? A break from her mundane little life in the estates?

“Yeah,” she smiled that one smile, the one where her tongue stuck out just a little, “take a break from all the danger.”

The Doctor hummed. He quite liked the danger. Danger made life interesting, danger meant he could help others. Danger meant he could fix his broken promise. But humans were different, he had reminded himself. No matter what, humans couldn't run forever the same way he could, couldn't keep going head first into the life threatening situations with the same ease he did.

“There’s this great spa planet in the 31st century.” He told her, already moving around the console. “I’ll set course for a few years before it gets popular, avoid the crowd-”

“No. I don't want any aliens.” He tried not to take offense at that. “No distant futures either.”

“What do you want, then?” The Doctor huffed.

Rose moved closer to him. “Someplace where nothing happens. No alien threats, no experiencing a historical moment. Just a place to relax.”

“Sounds boring.”

“Exactly.”

Fine, if Rose wanted boring, he’ll give her boring. Although, as he thought over the given criteria, she never said anything about the place having history. A grin found its way onto his face as the Doctor danced around the control panel.

---

Luz Noceda decided that she hated Gravesfield, Connecticut. For one, it was a small town and incredibly boring. Even worse, it was a small town where everyone knew everyone and everything. People stared at the Nocedas, whenever the family went anywhere, like they were about to commit a crime or something.

Then, there was how Grandpa couldn't move with them. Back home, Grandpa would come over for family dinners every Friday night, where he would put Luz to bed and tell her stories about when he was young. Now, he lived 3 hours away and, even though her parents promised they would still visit, Luz hadn't seen Grandpa at all in the month since they moved there.

Although, Gravesfield’s biggest offense against her was it took her Papi from her. Sure, he was busy back home as an ambulance driver, but he still had time for her and Mami. He would spend his weekends with them, doing whatever they wanted. Now, days he weren't working were spent at the big fancy hospital that was nearby. Luz really did try not to be bitter about it, the hospital was supposed to help Papi get better, but she missed how her family was before they moved.

Luz was contemplating calling Grandpa as she walked down the empty streets. It was still summer, maybe she could convince him to come pick her up and take her home. Mami would probably be mad but Grandpa said it was better to ask for forgiveness than permission. Besides, Mami and Papi had talked about having her live with Grandpa before the move. They didn't know Luz was listening in on them at the time and they ultimately decided not to, but maybe it was still an option.

She took out her phone, a flip phone because Mami and Papi said she wasn't ready for a phone phone, and had gotten to her contacts when she heard it. The sound was hard to describe, a mix between a ‘whoosh’ing sound and a ‘vroom’ was the best she could think of. The curiosity she felt was overwhelming, so she really couldn't be blamed.

She ran up the street, just barely putting her phone away safely, to find the sound’s source. It had ended when she rounded the corner and all she found was a blue box, a few feet away. Luz was about to keep moving, when two people stepped out of the box.

The first person was a man with dark brown hair and blue eyes. He had large ears that seemed to stand out more thanks to his buzz cut. He wore a battered black leather jacket, a dark colored V-neck, dark pants, and boots.

The second was a blonde woman, who seemed much younger than the man, with brown eyes. She wore a plain white shirt, a pink jacket with a hood, faded jeans and sneakers. Luz wasn't sure how the two could be wearing jackets, considering it was on the warmer side today. She pushed those thoughts aside as the two began talking.

“Gravesfield, Connecticut, 2015.” The man said, stressing the year the same way Mami did when Luz got the date wrong. Then there was his accent, while similar to some she had heard, it didn't sound quite American to her. British, maybe?

“And what happens?” The woman asked with a similar accent.

“Absolutely nothin’.” He told her. “Gravesfield’s ‘bout as borin’ as it gets.”

“Fantastic!’

Luz frowned. She didn't understand why someone would want boring. Boring was the worst. It was just so… boring! No, Luz would much rather adventure.

She was going to listen in more, maybe even go up and ask them questions (like who on Earth would want boring), when her phone rang. She took out her phone to find ‘Mami Calling’ in bold blocky words staring up at her. She slid back around the corner and answered.

“Mija, where are you?” Mami asked as soon as the call connected. “It’s almost dinner time.”

Shoot. She hadn't realized it was that late. Although, in her defense, it was hard to see the phone’s clock with the numbers so small. “Sorry, Mami, I got distracted.”

She heard Mami’s exasperated sigh. “Just hurry back, ok?”

“Ok!”

With the blue box and strange people forgotten, Luz made her way back to the house.

---

In the dead of night, a loud roar echoed through the quiet town of Gravesfield. Most people ignored it, slept right through the disturbance, but three people tensed. One was a little human girl that had woken up to get water. The other two were time travelers, an alien and his human companion, who were on their way back to their spaceship.

“Maybe it's a bear?” The girl from 2005 suggested.

The Time Lord shook his head. “That was no bear.”

---

Luz stood just outside the forest near the house. The sound from last night sounded like it came from here and it terrified her. Because what the heck could make that noise? No animal that Luz knew of, and Grandpa made sure to teach Luz about all kinds of wild animals while Mami did the same for pets.

She could still run, get back to the house and pretend nothing was wrong. What could she do anyways? She was just a little kid.

“Sometimes you've got to do the scary things, because it means protecting your family.” Grandpa’s words echoed in her head.

If she left this alone, whatever it was, there was the chance it could leave the forest and enter the town. What would it do to the people? Would it leave them alone or attack? Would Mami and Papi be in danger?

That thought alone spurred Luz to grab the largest stick she could find, giving it a swing. She wouldn't let anything hurt her family. She would be like Grandpa and protect them. She marched into the woods. Thunder rumbled over head as storm clouds seemed to swirl and a cold breeze tried to make her shiver.

Luz came to a stop as she came across an old house. It was a, clearly abandoned, two story house with white walls and a brown roof that had a large hole in it. The door was in the middle of two broken windows to either side of it. There were four pillars at the front of the porch, acting as support. The stairs up to the porch were worn from years exposed to the elements.

Luz had never seen this place before. Then again, Luz hadn't gone this deep into the woods before. She turned to keep moving, when she saw it. The creature.

It was big, maybe the size of a bear or car, and had an animal body with a horrifyingly human face. It had completely black eyes, grayish yellow sharp teeth and long orange fur protruding from equally long, pointed ears. Its body was covered in burnt orange fur, or maybe those were feathers, and it had two dark brown wings and black feet that resembled a bird of prey’s.

Luz yelped and stumbled back, to put more space between the two of them, as she raised her stick. Ok, so maybe this wasn't her best idea.

---

The Doctor was a bit too confused to really listen to whatever Rose was going on about. He just didn't understand why something was happening now and here. The only truly eventful thing that was supposed to happen in Gravesfield should have already happened in the decades following the town’s founding. The town takes part in the witch trials and two brothers go missing, that was it.

But now, they had some strange creature making a ruckus, which led the two time travelers to the edge of a forest.

“There’s a residential area nearby.” Rose pointed out.

“The Wittebane cabin should be in there.” The Doctor said in response.

“Why are we checking a cabin?” She asked.

“‘Cause it’s thought to be a hot spot of weird things.” There and the old graveyard but that place was flooded so it was easier to check the cabin first. Honestly, he was doing Rose a favor.

“Do we really need to do this? Might not be anythin’ at all.”

As if to prove her wrong, a shriek emanated from the forest. It sounded young, and that was all the Doctor needed to know to start running. He didn't even bother to look if Rose was following him, he just ran.

The shriek led them to, what the Doctor was sure was, the Wittebane cabin. A large creature had cornered a child on the cabin steps. The child held a jagged stick in one hand and looked terrified.

“Rose!” The Doctor turned to his companion to see her bent down and picking up a rock.

“On it!” she told him.

The Doctor was on the move again. He was about halfway there when the rock flew by him and hit the creature. Rose must have a good arm because there was an audible thud and the creature reared back. The Doctor took his chance to scoop up the child and kept running. Rose would catch up to him, he was sure. He held the child to his chest, their chin resting on his shoulder.

He didn't know how long they ran for, only that he stopped when he came across another clearing near a small stream of water.

“Are you ok?” He asked as he put the kid down.

“Mhm.” The kid looked up at him in awe before seeming to analyze him. He took a chance to do the same to them.

He didn't trust his knowledge of human ages enough to guess but they were definitely young. They were tan-skinned with brown eyes and dark brown hair that went down to her shoulders. They wore a pink short-sleeved collared shirt with a blue overall skirt on top and a pair of muddy yellow rain boots. The child seemed fine with the exception of a small scrape on their right knee.

“Good. That’s good.” He sighed. The scrape might not have anything to do with the creature, could just be a consequence of them being young. The child stared into his eyes intensely.

“You looked like my Grandpa.” They said suddenly.

They said it so suddenly all the Doctor could do was let out a meek, “What?”

Because what? What did they mean he looked like their grandpa? That shouldn't have been possible, he hadn't even been thinking about the earth or a person when he regenerated into this face. No, he had been thinking of war, regrets, and how badly he never wanted another travesty on par with the Time War.

Sure, there was always that small possibility that there was a human out there that looked like any of his faces but running into their family was less likely. And the possibility percentage just kept lowering as he narrowed it down in time.

There was only one person out there who could recognize him as a grandfather, someone who’s mere mention of a thought of them could cheer him up, no matter how grumpy his face was. Susan, his actual granddaughter. Susan, who always seemed to recognize him.

But the Doctor wasn't even sure if Susan was still out there. Much like himself, Susan got called back to Gallifrey at the start of the Time War, and, even though he had tried his best to keep them away from her, she answered them. The last time he had seen her, in his 8th face, where she had been running from Daleks and he dropped her off on Kasterborous, was still during the war, before The Moment. He didn't know if she was still on Gallifrey, fighting in the front lines like himself, when he ended it all. By the end of the war, he was too scared to go look for her. If she had, could this young child be her? It wouldn't be surprising if she regenerated. They all did, eventually. But would she really have regenerated so young?

“Yeah,” the child continued as if she wasn't causing him an internal crisis, “you have the same look in your eyes that Grandpa has.”

“Oh.” The Doctor wasn't sure if he should be excited or disappointed. On one hand, they weren't Susan but on the other, they weren't Susan.

“I’m Luz.”

“I’m the Doctor.”

“Doctor who?”

The Doctor couldn't help but smile at that. Such a response never got old.

“Doctor!” Rose ran up to them and had to take a moment to catch her breath. “We need to get out of here, that thing wasn't too far behind me.”

The Doctor and Luz looked in the direction Rose came from and, sure enough, there was the creature. It stood at the edge of the clearing, glaring at them, but not moving.

“Why isn't it attacking?” He thought out loud.

“What?” Rose turned to look at the creature. “It's just standing there.”

“But why?” There was no reason as to why it wouldn't attack. The three were just standing there.

“Could we maybe figure that out somewhere away from the giant thing that wants to kill us?” Rose tried.

“I suppose.” No matter how much the Doctor wanted answers, there was a child with them. He couldn't put them at risk like that. He turned to Luz. “Let’s get you out of here.”

“But what about the monster?” Their voice wavered enough that he knew they were scared.

“Me ‘n’ Rose’ll take care of it. No need to worry.” The Doctor picked Luz up and help them to his hip.

“Yeah,” Rose chimed in, “we do this kind of stuff all the time.”

“Really?” Luz looked at them with child-like wonder.

“Yup! So you can go home, watch some telly and leave this to us!”

It was rather easy to get Luz back home after that.

---

It was when they had made it to her house that the thought occurred to Luz.

“What if it was protecting its home?” She asked, her keys left in the lock.

“What?” The blonde, Rose, looked confused.

“Yeah! Mami says that some animals react poorly to people in their home.” Luz snapped her fingers together. “She said they were terri- terr- terre-”

“Territorial?” The Doctor suggested as she struggled with the word.

She pointed at him. “Yeah, that!”

“That is a possibility.” The Doctor agreed.

“But then, what is it?” Rose crossed her arms.

“It definitely doesn't originate from Earth.” The Doctor said instead of answering.

“Like an alien?” Papi would be so jealous if it was and she saw it before him. He loved anything to do with space.

“Most likely.”

“Pretty mindless for an alien.” Rose quickly added, “Compared to the ones we’ve seen.”

“You've met aliens?!” Now she was a little jealous. Meeting aliens sounded so cool.

The Doctor chuckled at Luz and patted her head. “And you have too.”

“Oh, yeah.” She guessed if the creature was an alien, she technically had met an alien.

“As for the creature, it's likely around the same level as Earth’s wildlife.” The Doctor told Rose.

“Does that mean those animal cop people can take care of it?” Of course Luz didn't know if Gravesfield had those but they should, right?

“Ya mean Animal Control?” The Doctor asked and Luz nodded. “I doubt it. They dunno what it is.”

“Do you, Doctor?” Rose repeated.

He shook his head. “I've never seen a species like that.”

“Wouldn't be the first time.” The blonde sighed. “Can you figure out where its from? Like with the Slitheen?”

“Slitheen? Is that a kind of alien?”

“Maybe if we went over what we knew.” The Doctor shoved his hands into his pockets.

“If you're gonna do that now,” Luz turned the keys in the lock and opened the door, “would you like some chips?”

“God, I would love chips.” Rose gave a toothy smile.

---

Turned out Rose did not love chips, Luz found out as she dumped a few of the small chip bags Mami sometimes gave her for snacks.

“What are these?” Rose asked, sounding a little offended.

“Chips.” Luz took one of the bags for herself. She halfheartedly hoped that Mami wouldn't notice the two extra missing chip bags. She, also, really wasn't supposed to have people over without a family member there.

“These aren't chips.” She said, taking a bag and holding it out, as if Luz didn't know what was in her own house. “These are crisps.”

“What are crisps?” Luz asked genuinely.

"These!"

"But those are chips."

Rose was about to say something when the Doctor raised a hand.

“Rose, remember, this is America. Crisps are chips here and chips are fries.” He took a bag as a light bulb turned on in Luz’s mind.

“Oh! You wanted fries? I’m pretty sure there’s some in the freezer I could make.” She then added after a moment. “But someone will have to turn on the oven. And put them in. and take them out. And turn the-”

“It's fine, Luz.” The Doctor patted her head. “The crisps work. Right, Rose?”

“Yeah, was just a bit confused.” The blonde gave an apologetic smile.

“Ok!” Luz opened her bag.

“So,” The Doctor put his bag back down, “what do we know?”

“It walks on all fours?” Luz tentatively offered, a chip in hand.

“Right, that narrows it down some.” The Doctor nodded. “What else?”

“It’s big.” Rose said. “Maybe the size of a bear?”

“Narrows it down. What else?”

“It's that terri-thingie.”

“Territorial.” The Doctor corrected. “Narrows it down. What else?”

“It's got wings.”

“Narrows it down.”

Luz looked into her chip bag. Only crumbs were left. She shrugged, lifted the bag to her mouth, and shook it.

“The face looks human.” Rose added.

“Narrows it down.”

“It’s light sensitive.” Luz flattened her now empty bag.

“What?” The Doctor straightened.

“How do you know that?” Rose asked.

“It’s eyes.” Luz grabbed some stray papers and a pencil that were used to make grocery lists. She made a quick drawing of the creature’s face the best she could. She filled in the eyes completely. “They're all black. Grandpa told me that animals with these kind of eyes are sensitive to lights, so they only come out at night or on really cloudy days.”

“Why does your grandpa know that?” Rose asked.

Luz shrugged. Neither Papi or Grandpa really ever explained how Grandpa came to know such things. Luz asked once about it and then didn't ever again when Grandpa got a far away look in his eyes.

“That’s really helpful, Luz.” The Doctor told her. “Maybe this way, we can deal with the creature without causing too much injury.”

They kept talking, trying to figure out where the creature came from, with varying success. They didn't have too much to work on, which according to the Doctor made it hard to really figure out where the creature came from. That being said, the Doctor was confident he had enough information to try and deal with the creature.

“So, what are we going to do now?” Luz dusted her hands after throwing away three empty chip bags.

“Me ‘n’ Rose are gonna deal with the creature and you stay here to watch some telly until your mum and dad come home.” The Doctor said firmly.

“But I can help!” Luz argued.

Rose bent down, so that she was eye level with Luz, and put a hand on her shoulder. “Look, Luz, what we do can get dangerous. And the Doctor just doesn't want you to get hurt.”

Luz huffed and crossed her arms. “I found it! I should be able to help you.”

“And you have!” Rose looked to the Doctor.

“If not for you, we wouldn't know about the eyes.” He told her. “And that alone is a massive detail that changed things.”

She pouted at them but stayed quiet.  Rose pulled her into a hug, which Luz returned despite her annoyance. It was nice. The blonde pulled away and gave her a smile. “Everything’ll be ok.”

“I know.” Luz tried to hide her resentment at that phrase. She had heard it a little too much recently.

The Doctor gave her shoulder a squeeze and then the two left. Luz watched as they made their way back into the woods and wished she could join them on their adventures. It would be a nice break from dull, boring Gravesfield. Then Luz remembered the blue box that was too small to comfortably hold two grown people. She barely waited before running out the door to act out her impulsive thoughts.

---

Luz made it to the box and took it in. It was a dark blue wooden box with dirty yellow windows. Near the top of the box was a black sign with ‘Police Public Call Box’ in white. The worn white sign on the left door with a bunch of stuff Luz really didn't care about. The most important thing was the ‘Pull to Open’ at the bottom of the sign.

She pulled the door open and had to blink. Luz stepped into the box and stopped about where the box would have ended. Unsure, she took another step, expecting to run into a wall or something. That didn't happen. Nothing stopped her.

“Magic box!” Luz gasped and ran around the room.

The best way Luz could describe the inside was, having a coral theme, with coral support beams. The walls were colored gold and had small hexagonal impressions. There was a raised platform in the room’s center with some kind of six-sided console filled with so many random devices Luz wasn't sure what to mess with first.

Luz had to smack her cheeks to bring herself back into focus. She came here because she wanted the Doctor and Rose to take her on an adventure, like what they denied her. She was sure the box belonged to them and so she’d use it to ambush them into taking her. To do that, she needed to hide.

Too bad Rose and the Doctor took longer than Luz originally thought. By the time they got back, Luz had fallen asleep in her hiding spot.

[loumauve]

thanks for tagging me, @novastellaris

Were you named after anyone? accidentally, not on purpose. very much to the dismay of my mum. (my dad forgot that his mother's middle name is the same as the name they picked for me)

When was the last time you cried? earlier today, or maybe late last night? been crying a lot lately, ever sínce my other grandma passed away. I'm always glad when I end up crying over a moving scene in a fic, or some lyrics in a song instead, ngl

Do you have kids? not unless my plant children count? I have quite a few, not as many as I used to, but still plenty. (I think current count is 55, though it used to be over double that at some point)

What sports have you played/do you play? I played soccer in kindergarten/elementary school (still salty over being the only one dressed in pink) but that was nothing serious, and then my asthma got worse and was no longer able to run for long periods of time, plus the hip issues I was born with flaring up a little every now and then. spent ten years in the circus though, which is kind of like sports? poi and juggling, dancing (mostly hip hop, swing, tap), mini trampoline stuff (where I nearly broke my nose and made a bloody mess of my friend's math homework), a lot of balancing (walking/doing tricks on the ball, unicycling, some tightrope walking.. incidentally the same tightrope I smashed my face into during my over-enthusiastic front flip off the trampoline), trapeze.. all kinds of stuff, really. loved it, still remember that time so very fondly even if it left my body a little too wrecked for comfort (my wrists are a mess and my ankles still roll every so often, my ribs still feel bruised whenever I gain too much muscle around the bottom of them, lol) also have dabbled in climbing, mostly indoor bouldering, which I really should get back to, these days the social anxiety gets the better of me though. inline skating which I love and my hips and knees hate, sadly enough.

tldr: I love all kinds of being active and moving around, it's just that my body doesn't agree with most of it.

Do you use sarcasm? a lot of the time, more so when fed up and grumpy or defensive

First thing you notice about people? clothes, maybe? hair, perhaps. faces, but also not in a way where I really remember them? I'm not sure, actually. but the first two are the things I tend to remember the most even long after I've last seen someone

What is your eye color? blue-grey, depending on the lighting it can be either near completely blue or really grey. idk

Scary movies or happy endings? both, preferably together. though, I'm not a fan of artificially happy endings, sometimes bittersweet and a little sad is the best you can get and that's fine with me. more true to real life that way anyhow

Any talents? hm. maybe it's finding all kinds of wonderful knick-knacks and integrating them into my flat to make it wonderfully chaotic and cluttered, but welcoming? (it prevokes either extreme joy or utter despair in visitors who come to my place lol) not sure that counts as a talent though.. I guess I'm real good at getting back up every time life does its best to crush me into a smudge on the sidewalk? can you call that a talent? it's either stubbornness or just straight up spite, definitely not a pretty sight but I make it work, somehow

Where were you born? Dresden, home sweet home. (home of old-ass architecture, the beloved Frauenkirche and Zwinger, eternally indebted and cursed by the river Elbe, sadly haunted by right wing politics) born and raised here, only lived elsewhere for a year and a half, or so. missed it terribly while I was gone, a blessing and a curse, really, but I don't think I'd ever want to move away again, no matter how haunted some places are for me now. I'd miss the river and the Elbsandsteingebirge too much.

What are your hobbies? a little bit of everything. collecting hobbies is another talent of mine. most hobbies last me a few weeks at most before they rest in limbo until I pick them up again, but here's a few: book binding, sewing, painting, video games, board games, reading, dissociating to the perfect (at the moment) song on loop for hours/days straight, sometimes (very rarely these days) writing - fic and poetry, dreaming (a fave, ngl. wouldn't mind if my life was nothing but), finding the most amazing terrible horror films to watch, collecting dice and rolling them until they all show the same numbers, collecting and looking at Magic: The Gathering cards and building decks that I then never end up playing with because I have nobody to play with (rip), making DnD characters that I will never play but have entire backstories for nonetheless, taking care of (and multiplying) my various plant children

Do you have any pets? not at the moment, I used to keep garden snails for a bit, but then I felt bad for them never experiencing the outdoors so I released the latest batch of them to where I found the parents originally. I hope they're alright out there. I'd love to have pets again, but I'm allergic to most furry beings, and my flat isn't a good place to keep non-furry animals either because it gets really cold and draughty in winter and far too hot and stuffy in summer, and I'd rather not subject any critters to that. plus, most of everything in here vibrates whenever I used the washing machine since I live in what used to be an attic space with wooden beams all around, so anything that needs structural integrity (like an aquarium etc) is out as well. I guess at the moment I do have a few visitors though, two tiny spiders that live in my bedroom and bathroom respectively, tucked away in corners where they don't bother me and I try not to bother them, and I regularly get bird visitors outside my bedroom window since I'm still putting out bird food that's left over from me feeding them over the winter, so I have a flock of 8 or so pigeons, a few crows and a few more magpies. not pets, but daily companions nonetheless.

How tall are you? 164 cm, which according to google is around 5'4''

Favorite subject in school? English (as a second language), Art, and maybe Biology? used to be German but then German became all about remembering boring dates and I lost interest

Dream job? no idea, I go where the winds of life blow me. I mean, in an ideal world (where my knees don't suck) I supposed I would have loved to be a graveyard gardener for the rest of my life. that was my favourite time at work ever. OR if we lived in a different time, maybe a lighthouse keeper. sometimes I still dream of that, or of roaming some deep dark woods and I feel so very at peace

[purplesurveys]

1899

Do you ever worry about your future? (i.e.: college, marriage, kids, etc) Not really. I think I've mostly learned how to have an "accept whatever's coming" mindset, which might sound lazy but it helps a lot in, like, not being constantly paranoid. If anything what I only find myself thinking about repeatedly is the future in the context of my parents – will I be the child who'll live with them when they get old, would they ever get seriously sick, etc.

Does your family use coasters? Is anyone in your family excessively tidy? We don't; we just use the placemats for glasses. My mom is very tidy and very particular and very uptight with neatness...but somehow that doesn't translate to coasters haha. We manage fine without.

What’s your least favorite chore to do around the house? Do you have to do this often? Ironing. Its optionality is what makes it burdensome for me lol, if that makes sense. I don't always have to do it in every laundry cycle so when I do, it feels like an additional chore.

If you went to your mom/dad or whoever you live with and said “hey, I’ll clean the whole house if you give me 20 bucks” would they go for it? Would you raise the price? 100% they will just laugh at me for asking money when they know I'm already perfectly capable of earning my own, haha.

Are you usually late, early or right on time? Usually right on time, or anywhere between 1-5 minutes late.

If you wrote a journal entry about your last date, what would it say? I can't remember when my last date was.

On a scale of 1 to 5 how organized are you? I'm like a 6 at work and a solid 2.5 anywhere else.

Name a movie you can watch over and over again and not be bored with? Roman Holiday or Two for the Road.

Do you wear pajamas to places other than at your house? Apart from the house and accommodations like hotels and Airbnbs, nope.

Do you take showers in the morning or at night more? Morning. It needs to be the first thing I do every morning, otherwise it won't feel right when I work.

What is the wallpaper on your cellphone? Lockscreen is Namjoon at a museum; home screen is the latest OT7 selfie from Jin's first day out the military. It's the one where Hobi has clearly been drinking because his entire face is red, lol.

Do you still have your tonsils? Yes.

What is the worst thing someone has ever done to you? Told me I'm worthless, unworthy of love, a burden etc. Idk I blocked everything from my memory but that's essentially the idea.

Have you ever gone nude/streaked in public? No thanks.

Do you snore? Steal the covers? Roll around in your sleep? I snore sometimes, which is the most noteworthy thing I do when sleeping tbh. Otherwise I barely move and always wake up nearly in the same position I fell asleep in.

Why aren’t you with the person you love? I'm not romantically interested in anyone.

Could you go out in public looking like you do now? Yeah. I was supposed to be out for an event but this typhoon did not shut the fuck up all day. Internet's out, landline's out, and even cell signal was mostly out inside the house so I've been working from my car and didn't have time to change out of my event clothes.

Do you like the rain? Love the rain.

What is your mom listed under in your phone? Just her number. LOL. It's a running gag now tbh; it's hilarious when people see it and are shocked when they find out I don't have my mom officially saved, so because the reactions are always priceless I've kept it that way.

Do you like going to the dentist? Yeah it's fine but I just hate when they use that sandpaper thing to aggressively wedge in my teeth gaps. Makes me so paranoid.

Are you afraid of speaking to large audiences? Not usually. I'll be fine if I know what to say.

Are you afraid to tell the truth sometimes? Sure.

What’s one quality about yourself that you feel sets you back but also helps you? Gosh. Uh...maybe liking my alone time a little too much, I guess? I could benefit more by joining communities, signing up for hobby classs and workshops like painting and pottery, and meeting new people...but idk. I'm also just as content staying my shell when I want to.

Was anyone who had been in your company today in a bad mood? It was just me and the rain today.

The last time you felt sick what exactly was wrong? Food poisoning. Drank bad milk.

What did you do today? Weathered through work despite the nearly-nonexistent signal and carried out the most stressful event ever (it was a face-to-face that needed to be redone and repackaged into a Zoom event with uhh *checks watch* barely 2 hours of prep). I should feel proud but now I just kind of feel bad because I was tense and stressed all day and could have spoken more nicely to some colleagues who kept getting stuff wrong. I didn't humiliate them or say bad words or anything lol but the perpetual people pleaser in me just doesn't like showing that I'm angry. Idk. It's hard to balance being firm and gentle.

[madnessiseverything]

grishaverse (mostly soc) fics

since i've now posted over 20k of fic for this fandom i figured i'd do a little collection post for them 👀

when i'm beat up and alone, 1.4k words. jesper has a very bad day and gets beat up for his efforts. It’s a testament to his fucked up state—the reason he should never touch another drop of alcohol, a promise he has made far too many times—that they get the jump on him and he can’t reach for his guns in time, long-trained reflexes impeded by just about everything this shitty day has thrown his way. His head meets concrete and the world slides away for a brief, but far too crucial moment. -

live to fight another day, 2.6k words. five times jesper says "this is how we die" and one time he refuses to say it. His mama presses her lips to his forehead, tugs him down to match her height once more. She smiles, bright as the sun above their heads. The tear tracks down her face turn golden. Then those gentle, oh-so-gentle hands move to his chest, and Aditi—beautiful, loving, stubborn woman that she is—shoves. -

anything for love and war, 587 words. jesper gives wylan a key and freaks out about it. But insecurity has always been a loathed companion following his every step, and Jesper has always talked too much. Everything suddenly feels too fast, like he’s falling from a precipice he didn’t even have time to see. He’s never been here before, he thinks with an edge of panic. -

with bloody feet across the hallow ground, 8.9k words, ongoing WIP. everyone is fucked up in a more magical way, kaz is the barrel itself, the wraith receives prayers, wylan still crawls out of Ketterdam canals, jesper loses his soul during a game, and nina dabbles in necromancy. How then, the Wraith muses as she watches Ketterdam come to life with the approaching dark, is it possible that he doesn’t scoff at her mere existence—when faith is engraved into every tool her hands reach for, when the torn loom of her being is stitched up with the very thread that fills his floors with every new prayer a poor soul utters somewhere in the streets? -

all i ever wanted was to be of use, 5.6k words. jesper and kaz are missing inej and don't deal with it in a healthy way. kaz uses wylan's past to get to jesper. He knew the sanctuary he had found would be temporary, that his father would find him again to finish what Wylan failed to do back in the canal. He’d been foolish when he hoped it would take its time. All this time where he thought he had found happiness, he’d instead gotten complacent, let himself be lulled into a false sense of security with Jesper’s laughter and kindness. He should have known better than think he could build himself a home amidst these people.  -

please forgive my ugly, 2.1k words, ongoing WIP. jesper, up to his neck in debt, gets evicted and moves in with nina and inej, finally accepting that he needs help. The last time, Jesper tells himself on his first night, the last time things were this bad, he’d gotten Inej stabbed and irreparably damaged his relationship with Kaz. “This action will have no echo,” Jesper laughs joylessly into the rain thundering down on the bus stop roof. At least this time he alone has to bear the consequences. At least this time he doesn’t have blood on his hands. -

like a true survivor, 2k words. alina climbs into the car trunk of some strangers and ends up as a road trip buddy for the crows. She’d climbed into the backseat, with the Suli woman joining her on the other side. The Zemeni man had slid into the driver’s seat with a bright grin—Alina is pretty sure he was the one who kept laughing last night—and promptly held out an opened tub of gummy worms towards her. She hadn’t taken one until the man pointedly ate one himself as though to convince her they weren’t poisoned.

[aisarcher]

Reviewing Patina

Because i realized i can infodump whenever i want, its my blog

First song on the album, Patina is my absolute 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 on this album. It might squeeze into my #1 spot for this band. Cody 100% KILLED it on the vocals of this recording. As did the rest of the group, naturally. A fantastic start to the album, incredibly strong introduction to anyone just discovering them. This plays on repeat in my head.

Best time to listen: Foggy or Overcast Weather

Lakes was released earlier as a single, so I'm already a fan since I've been listening to it on repeat since it came out. They've been playing it in concert for a while before it released too, so I was already familiar and thrilled to finally be able to play it over and over in the car lol. Catchy chorus, great pacing, a perfect blend. Great summer song.

Best time to listen: Fantasizing Angsty AMVs

I'll admit I was skeptical upon my first listen that the crown would hold up to how I felt about the first two songs on the album, but that skepticism was quickly dashed by that fun little cowbell. Honestly, such a fun song. I do prefer to hear them preform it live though. Their energy on stage during this performance is so infectious! The crowd is always hype during this song. Last concert I went to, they were banging on a metal container during the last bits and it was unparalleled.

Best time to listen: With Sunglasses On

r.e.m. is literally so close to beating patina as my fave song on the album!! It's ridiulously fun to sing and I have been doing so at home, at work, all day, every day. Addictive doesn't do it justice! Patina beats it by just a smidge only because I need the chorus of r.e.m. to play at least one more time, I love it so much!

Best time to listen: Driving Fast/Driving at Night Thru the City (truthfully there is no bad time to listen to r.e.m.)

smokr falls lower on my tier list. Not because it's bad, it just isn't the type of song I listen to often. A sudden shift in gears, smokr is a much softer song than the predecessors, with mostly just Cody and a guitar for most of the song. They've done a great job at making the song 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭 smoky, as if you're listening in a room hazy with cigarettes and memories.

Best time to listen: After a Breakup

In direct contrast to smokr, which is mostly focused on Cody singing softly, decay is an entirely instrumental track that lets the rest of the band come in and shine. And what a sick tune they get going for us! At no point in the song am I bored of repeating lines, nor am I whiplashed from any changes. The song moves, flows, and evolves as it goes on and leaves you hooked the whole time and before you know it, you've flowed right into the next song.

denial is the song I always forget until that chorus hits me right in the chest. After the last 2 songs, denial pulls you right back into their usual sound of fantastic intrumentals and powerful vocals. It helps balance the beginning and end of the album and does so masterfully. They knew what they were doing putting everything in this specific order.

Best time to listen: In a Hot Topic or Zumiez

Starting off with the lone piano notes, followed by vocals joining, degrade makes you think we are back to sad, simple sounds like in smokr. However, the rest of the band quickly hops in and sets the pace as something entirely different. And that CHORUS! Some of my favorite lyrics from EP are in this song. I think this was the perfect choice to finish off the album. They've been playing it at concerts for a while now and has a lot of love from the fans. Most of us are already singing along lol. Such a vibe. You're bobbing your head before you realize it.

Best time to listen: In an Anime Intro with a lot of Running and Falling Through Endless Sky

If you read this far holy shit dm me we should be friends

[horrorcult-renaissance]

Nothing Is Beyond the Pale in Darkness

(A wee Will Grahm moment. I mostly write these for myself and barely ever post them. This is just a quick first draft I really liked. Nothing triggering as far as I know. Just Will Graham and an old friend having a coffee. A little flirting near the end. Maybe I’ll continue it when I know what happens next.)

The friends agreed to meet at a little cafe they both knew in Manassas. The man had chosen Bon Temps for its rustic bayou theme. It was neither as kitschy nor as pretentious as other coffee shops near his place of work. The lighting was low and warm, the voices of its few patrons were hushed, and they stayed open until after dusk. He entered the cafe and scanned the room for his friend, who was sitting at a little table between a vintage privacy screen and a dried-out-looking ficus that on closer inspection was plastic and quite dusty. The last of the day's golden hour sunlight hit her face from over the screen, streaming in and filling it with warm light. She was still wearing her distinctive soft masculine dark academic sort of outfit that she often wore to work. The man walked over slowly, a small smile playing on his lips. His face looked tired with its five-o-clock shadow, but that did nothing to mar his delicate but handsome features. When she looked up and noticed him approaching the table, her eyes lit up with recognition. She waved slightly. He was the first to speak this time.

"Well, hello there. It's been quite a while since our last exchange. How have you been holding up?" Will Graham said, settling into the booth opposite her. She sighed and shrugged. 

"Well it's 6 pm and I haven't eaten a damn thing today but I'm ok with that." She glanced briefly at his eyes and then looked back down at the table. Will caught that she was avoiding eye contact with him and tilted his head to look at her, his eyes narrowing. Then he leaned back in his seat and looked at her head on. "A human body requires sustenance to keep functioning properly. You'll have to nourish yourself at some point, you know."

She looked up at him again, but even then, her gaze seemed to rest at the top of his left ear, not at his eyes. "Yeah, there's just not much in my house for groceries right now. I've been craving Chinese food so I'm holding out for my paycheck to come in and then I'm gonna order some."

He nodded, looking down at her arms folded in front of her on the table and then back at her face. 

"Don't hold out for too long. Your body needs fuel. Skipping too many meals is hardly a healthy habit."

"Don't worry, I won't." She paused and fiddled with the place settings. Will noticed but kept his gaze steady. He knew from her body language that something was on her mind. Finally, with faux absentmindedness she made her move."Do you remember the conversation we had last time we got Chinese food?" 

Will smiled coyly. He did, in fact, remember slightly. That was a night he had more than his usual share of whiskeys. It has been shortly after his release from a mental ward and his mood had been... intense.  He called her on the off chance she could pick him up and she drove him home that night. He vaguely remembered the slight innuendo he had uncharacteristically thrown her way to see if she'd bite. She mostly looked terrified. He had kind of liked it. "Yeah, I remember. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know, I was just curious I guess. I was wondering if you remember what else was transpiring during that evening." She had twisted the paper wrapper of her straw from her ice water up into a tight twist and slid it to the edge of the table. Will couldn't remember exactly where that evening fell among the many notable evenings during that time in his life. "I remember that we talked about our favorite type of Chinese food and some of the other restaurants we each wanted to try. Why? Is something wrong?" His eyebrows raised as he leaned slightly towards her, gazing out from beneath them. She took a nervous sip of her water. "No. Nothing is wrong. I was just curious." She finally made eye contact with him. Though the air in the cafe was quite warm for the crisp autumn evening, she seemed to shiver slightly. Will leaned back again, looking her over. "Well, now I'm curious about your curiosity. Is my presence during that time in your thoughts lately?" A waitress set their drinks on the table, interrupting the tension. A chai breve' with a sprinkle of cinnamon for her, and for Will, just a plain strong black coffee. They both politely thanked the server before she loped back towards the counter.

"More than you know." Her shivering seemed to ebb and her shoulder took a bolder shape. Will looked bemused.

"Now that is intriguing, what do you mean by that?" He said. She sighed, "When I find myself in a darker headspace, my thoughts often drift toward the experiences we've shared." She looked down and shook her head slightly,  "I start contemplating you, and you tend to occupy a significant presence in my internal dialogue during those moments." She looked back up at him. Will looked slightly ashamed.

"So you find yourself ruminating on me when you're caught in the depths of a dark headspace... And does that notion elicit fear within you?" He swallowed hard.  "Or does the thought of me in those places offer some semblance of solace?" She looked at him and looked down, searching her mind for an honest answer. "I'm not sure. I’m unsure if its a bit of both. Or if it's that I scare me and you comfort me." She looked at him a little sadly. He continued his line of questioning,  "Do you associate me with... bad feelings? Bad times?" He was nervous about what her answer would be, but she smiled.

"Definitely not bad times. Not a bad feeling either. It's more like... being alone with dark feelings." She had ceased her avoiding of his eyes. He began to smile back again. "So you're saying you think about me when you're lonely?" At that she chuckled a bit, tossing her hair out of her eyes.

"I mean, yeah that's true. But I don't think that's all there is to it. I think it has more to do with... I look to you because i know some of what you've been through, what you still probably go through. I think of you when I'm feeling unstable with my own identity because I know you've had those issues. " Will flinched a little at her reference to his troubled days, but decided to steer the boat to warmer waters. "I see,” he chuckled “So I'm like a... comfort thing?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." She shrugged. He leaned in closer,  "Does that mean I'm your security blanket?" At that she cocked her head with a bit of surprise, her eyebrows coming together briefly before she leaned in to match him. "Why? Wanna cuddle?" They both laughed and Will sat back and rubbed his chin with his palm and thumb. Then he looked back at her. "Look... don't take this the wrong way... but if you asked me to cuddle, I'd probably do it."

"Is that so?"

"Well.. yeah. Why not? I haven't had anyone close to me in a long time. I do miss those things." He pursed his lips and then licked them, picking up his coffee and taking a sip. It was his turn to avoid eye contact.

"Been a while?" She asked, following his eyes off into the distance.

"Yeah." He sighed, "It really has."

"I could see that. I never really thought about your love life. You've always been a pretty solitary type of guy in general. Well, except for the dogs." He nodded and looked back at her. "I'm used to being alone. But that doesn't mean loneliness doesn't affect me. I haven't felt held in...," he shook his head and sighed, "forever." He was still gazing off to someplace in his head. She rubbed the back of her arms and, not believing she dared it, she said, "I mean, we can have a cuddle sometime, if you want. You're my friend. I trust you." He looked back at her slowly. "Is that so?"

"Why wouldn't I? Do you bite?" She shrugged, watching him intently.

"Me?" He said with a wide smile, "Nooooo."