#its not a skip but it is low on my ranking i guess

[florencewellch]

Gonna be honest... never cared about Better than Revenge that much, so I don't mind that much

[theriverspath]

Ineffable May 2024 Day 13: Heavenly Hosts

I'm playing catch-up for the last few prompts, so please accept this fever dream of a crossover as my day thirteen. Rated General Audience. Spoilers for the first episode of the anime Ouran High School Host Club, maybe?

Beez packed their bag and left the library’s quiet room. Unfortunately for their plan to study there after classes, it had become anything but quiet. The background buzz of other students chatting or giggling wasn’t entirely unpleasant. It just made it difficult to concentrate on their work. A familiar dull ache in their chest accompanied their thoughts as they closed the library door.

Hey, Mom. These angels are so different than what I’m used to. I’m managing ok, I guess, but I wish you could give me some advice on what to do about it.

Their sigh and their footsteps echoed down the endless corridor of huge windows and locked classrooms. Maybe one of the club rooms was empty? Beez stopped under a sign indicating that they’d found a music room. When they didn’t hear any instruments or singing, they gingerly pushed it open and peeked inside.

The door unexpectedly swung inward, pulling them in and causing them to stumble. They wobbled back, and the door closed behind them with a solid thud. As they caught their footing, white sparkling light filled their vision. A delicate rain of rose petals floated down from the ceiling. They barely had time to register the frivolous miracle before a chorus of voices rang out.

“Welcome to the Haven Host Club!”

Beez blinked, trying to clear their vision enough to see the group of angels gathered in front of them. A pair, as opposite in appearance as two beings could be, gasped in unison. Though the timbers of their voices were different, the shocked inflections were perfectly in sync when they spoke.

“A low ranking angel?”

“Uriel, Sandalphon, that’s no way to treat a guest. Especially an honor student.” Another member of the group admonished the duo. Their calculating expression was accented by their perfectly coiffed hair and the delicate lace cuffs below their uniform jacket’s sleeves.

“An honor student? Michael, are you saying that we have the privilege of entertaining the infamous Beelzebub?” An arm draped itself over Beez’s shoulders, its hand cupping their upper arm and guiding them into the room. The brightly lit expanse was dotted with little clusters of low tables, finely crafted chairs, and elegant settees. In the middle of it all rotated a large globe. The brilliant blues and greens practically glowed underneath swirling wisps of clouds. Beez had never seen such a lifelike representation of Earth. It was almost as if it had been plucked from the actual heavens and placed here to be admired. After a moment, they realized that the owner of the guiding arm had said their name.

“Wait. How do you know who I am?” Beez looked up into a pair of shining violet eyes. They crinkled at the corners with amusement. The tall angel smiling down at them had a solid, athletic build. Dark hair was cut short, and their school uniform was immaculately tailored.

“Are you kidding? Everyone’s heard of the scrappy little scrivener striving to climb their way up the ranks.” Their voice was smooth and charismatic. It wasn’t displeasing, but it approached condescension in a way that made Beez narrow their eyes in annoyance. Before they could reply, another voice, bubbly and full of sunshine, piped up from the group.

“Yeah! You must be a hero to the other low-rankers!” A being almost as short as Beez skipped forward and clasped their hands around the arm that wasn’t currently smooshed against the other angel. “Don’t you think so, Saraqael?” That last question was directed at a stoic angel seated in a floating chair. Their only acknowledgement of being addressed was to raise a single eyebrow. A feeling of acute claustrophobia swept over Beez. What in all of creation was going on here?

“Look, I’m no hero. I’m just a regular student looking for a quiet place to study.’ They tried shifting their shoulders and raising their arm, hoping that the two beings attached to them would get the hint to let go.

“Nonsense!” The taller angel actually hugged Beez closer in a too-familiar jostle. “Not only are you trying for the academic angle, but now you’ve gathered up the courage to attempt to engage the services of our elite host club! Of course, we usually restrict reservations to Thrones, Dominions, or above. But, I think we could make an exception in your case.” The jostle was escalated by the shorter angel on their arm jumping up and down with excitement.

“Brilliant! Come sit at my table with me! I have tea all set up and ready. I’ll even let you drink out of my favorite cup! It’s so pretty to look at. Oh! My name is Muriel, by the way…” The claustrophobia turned to a rising panic.

“No! No reservation! No tea! I just need to find a quiet and empty room!” Beez wrenched their corporation backwards, and the two angels released their holds in shock. The sudden lack of support sent Beez sprawling. Their fall was broken by something large and round. They swung around just in time to see the glowing globe tip off of whatever invisible pedestal held it upright. It hit the ground and shattered. A burst of glittery shards skidded across the floor in every direction, decorating the white tiles with pieces of continent and ocean. Beez stood frozen, unable to believe what had happened.

“Oh, you’ve done it now, low-ranker.” The shorter of the two mismatched twins spoke up. The taller finished their thought. “Indeed. That globe was created using an eight million Lazuri miracle.” Beez felt their knees go weak as they realized the implications of what they’d done.

“I … I’m going to have to pay you back.” Their voice cracked as they struggled to get the words out.

“How?” Uriel and Sandalphon chimed in stereo. “There’s no way you could perform that kind of miracle with your current rank.”

“Well.” Michael leaned down to pick up a particularly pretty piece of the broken Earth. They kept their eyes on it as they straightened back up. “What do you think we should do, Gabriel?” The violet-eyed angel flashed a self-satisfied grin at the question.

“There’s only one way this aspirant academic is going to climb that steep social ladder to reach their full potential, Michael, and that’s with the help of the Haven Host Club!” Gabriel turned their attention to Beez. “That means starting today, you work for us.” The edges of Beez’s vision started to close in, narrowing to a pin-point surrounded by fuzzy black. They lost track of the beings around them as they thought, I don’t know if I can handle this, Mom. I’ve been captured by a bunch of angels that are calling themselves a host club. They felt two little pokes of someone’s finger on their shoulder, then the room quickly tilting to the side as the floor came up to meet their fainting corporation.

------

prompt list

[ad-hawkeye]

posing you a potentially difficult task:rate artem’s year three worst to best(when you get the time ofc)

anon this was difficult on my soul. but i did it. mostly. because there's one or two i haven't watched in full myself, and one of those i legit have heard nothing about in terms of quality, i will mark them with a star.

i will also be including some of the upcoming third year cards i've read the translations of.

with that disclaimer out of the way, here's my list! worst from best.

ocean’s enchantment [summer splash] - i have no clue how they made a card that i consider worse than artem's second anniversary card but. by god did they do it. never say anything is impossible. at least artem was dressed nice in his second anniversary card. and also shitfaced. literally nothing is in this card's favor. also artem knowing how to surf is mind numbingly stupid i'll say it. lavish invitation [second anniversary] - i've bitched and moaned about this card for nearly two years now. you all know the takes on this one. third anniversary - this one nearly put me to sleep! 2/10. despite some weird short lived ooc moments, not as bad as artem's second anniversary card. its main sin is being a chore to get through. i was fighting against the urge to skip forward. mediocre art. top up cello ssr - ugh. i got so annoyed by this one i stopped watching a few minutes before the end. it's yet another "omg no way artem is a master at this random ass hobby?!?!?!?!??" card that year three LOVES and the explanation for it is so convoluted. really pretty art though. always happy to see rosa's canonical violin skills mentioned. calm as the night [billiards] - this one was fine. i guess? first of the cards i don't actively dislike. epic highs (omg this part made me smile like a year one/two card!) and epic lows (why are they licking each other's arms) velocity of desire [racing]* - i'd rank this one equal to artem's billiards card. one of the ssrs i mentioned that i haven't actually read, but i've seen people have generally indifferent to positive commentary on. better handling of jealousy. the actual event this came with was super cute though. love for the ages [3rd birthday] - cute art, serviceable if not a teensy bit convoluted story. an enjoyable time. this ranking is NOT about the birthday event it came with which, imo, sucked major ass. enshrouded sunglow - to the surprise of no one the au cards are going to wind up topping this list. funny enough i think this is artem's weakest au card. it's afraid to take risks and was a bit more boring than the other aus. still ages better than most of year three though. cutie ollie - mind boggling how this card where artem "isn't used to this kind of physical touch" in regards to mc playing with his hair, comes AFTER the daddy dom sex god ssr. anyways this one is very cute. i'm convinced it was supposed to be a year two card bc the only mention of second anniversary is a quick mention of an engagement ring. lmao. stormy enigma [bakerlon] - bakerlon my beloved. save me bakerlon save me. one of artem's better au cards, but i still wouldn't rank it first. also celestine is in it! a win! belle nuit d'amour - further evidence to my claim that tot's personal story cards rarely if ever suck. some good character stuff, the closest we've seen to artem fucking up a case, really good art. would recommend. or maybe not idk i haven't actually read the global version but i can't imagine it's too different from the fan translation i read. dragonsbreath - this one ties with the weeds for my favorite artem au card story. neil is in this one. fun plot. good art. good characterization.

[UNRANKED] voice of comfort* - i have not read this one nor have i ever seen anyone talk about it like. ever. or maybe i did read it and just fucking forgot. idk. don't really have the energy to read it regardless. the art is kinda mid. if anyone wants to message me their thoughts on this one, i can tentatively adjust my ranking on it

*i have not personally read either of these. any ratings are done via word of mouth or summary. regard these ratings tentatively.

[duhragonball]

Neon Genesis Evangelion 12

I'm old enough to remember when 2000 A.D. was kind of a big deal, and now it's just whatever 1976 was to people who lived in 2000 A.D.

Gosh, this takes me back. Remember back in 2000, when everything was mustard-toned for some reason? Triple H and the Rock kept trading the WWF title back and forth, and Antarctica was on fire?

We got a glimpse of Misato's past in that flashback, but in the present, she's been promoted to Major. Shinji and Asuka didn't even notice, but Big Rigg Mahoney caught on right away, because he's an expert on rank insignia and such. Suzuhara knows too, but come on, we all know he learned it from Big Rigg Mahoney.

The Eva pilots do some sort of "stress test" thing at the base. I'm not sure what this is for, but Shinji shows great improvement so he gets a gold star for it. He's uncomfortable being praised, though.

Later, the kids throw a little party to celebrate Misato's promotion. Oh, I didn't notice the sash she's got on, that's adorable!

Naturally, Big Rigg Mahoney organized this whole shindig, and the writers honor him by using his full name for the first time since Episode 4. It's too late, though. He's been Big Rigg Mahoney for too long now, and he won't go back.

Speaking of guys I had to rename because I don't dare look up what they're actually called, I think Vice Commander Clownshoes needs a cooler rank. "Admiral Clownshoes" has a nice ring to it.

The others make a lot of loud screeching noises, and Shinji and Misato have this quiet conversation in the middle of it, which seems kind of impossible, with the noise, but okay. They both don't handle praise very well, and Shinji asks why she joined NERV, and she dodges the question.

At the moment, Major Katsugari is in charge of NERV, because Geno Ikari and Admiral Clownshoes are on some expedition to Antarctica, or what's left of it. We never find out why they're there, so I'm just gonna skip over this.

No, wait. Imagine a "Steamed Hams" bit featuring these two. Clownshoes feeds him Krustyburgers and Gendo just clasps his hands over his beard and stares enigmatically.

Oh, this is the dumbest looking one yet. I thought the Angel from Episode 1 looked kind of weak, but I didn't mind because I assumed they would get cooler looking as the show went on. Now I'm starting to wonder if that guy was my favorite the whole time.

This Angel just floats in low orbit over the Earth and drops pieces of itself. The telemetry indicates that it's just practicing, improving its aim, but Misato figures it'll eventually launch an attack on NERV headquarters. Ritsuko further speculates that it'll drop its entire body when that happens, which would cause tremendous devastation. They seem very chipper about this.

So the Angel's attack strategy is.... falling. Really hard, I guess. Misato's counterplay is... catch the Angel before it hits.

Let me back up. A while back, it was established that Angels have an "AT Field" which protects them from conventional weapons. The Evas can neutralize this advantage, and this is apparently because the Evas possess their own AT Fields. I'm not sure if the fields cancel each other out, or if the Evas can use their fields to penetrate the fields of their enemies. Anyway, I think this Angel isn't just falling from a great height; it's also using its AT field to make a bigger impact when it hits. Likewise, Misato's plan seems to depend on the Evas' AT fields being powerful enough to halt the angel just before it hits the ground.

But this is still an objectively stupid plan. The calculations say it only has a 1-in-10,000 chance of working. Even the pilot kids can tell how stupid it is. Misato has already ordered the evacuation of Tokyo-3 and all non-essential NERV personnel. The kids still agree to do it, but they don't expect it to work. Misato offers to take them all out for a steak dinner if they win. You know, if the four of them all came out of this episode wearing Ribera jackets, that would be fuckin' awesome.

I'm not gonna photoshop it, but just imagine them all showing up for work the next day rocking these bad boys. Wait, the Ribera steakhouse is in Tokyo, so I guess it got destroyed in the wars that followed the Second Impact. Well so much for that.

Asuka doesn't plan to write a will because she doesn't expect to die. Rei also has no use for a will, but it's spookier when she says it, like she doesn't need a will because she cannot be killed in any way that matters. Shinji doesn't need to write a will because I'm pretty sure the only thing he owns is that stupid shirt of his, and the tape player that he's probably worn out replaying the same two songs over and over.

Also, Rei pre-emptively refuses the steak dinner. Not because she's afraid of failure, or because she is confident in her success. She just doesn't care for meat. Bad. Ass.

So they start getting ready for this, and Misato basically tells her crew that she has no idea what she's doing, and most of this plan is pure guesswork. It only works if the Evas manage to get under the Angel as it comes down, and they have no idea if it's even going to crash on them. She's just pretty sure it will, and she even trots out that "woman's intuition" line, which is one of the hackiest things in the hack playbook.

On their way to deploy, Shinji asks Asuka why she pilots the Eva, and you might want to sit down for this: She does it for the attention. Just the mere fact that people will acknowledge her existence, as if anyone could ignore this kid. She asks Shinji why he pilots the Eva, and he doesn't know. This is episode twelve, by the way. We'll get our answer today, but let the record show: this is episode twelve.

Then we get a flashback? Flash forward? At some point, Misato finally reveals to Shinji why she joined NERV. Her father was a scientist who threw himself into his work, just like Shinji's dad. Misato resented him for it, but when Second Impact happened, he sacrificed himself to save her, and she's felt a burning desire to defeat the Angels ever since. It's not just to avenge her father, but perhaps to spite him. Shinji can sort of relate to this.

Back to the mission, the Angel has begun to descend, so the Evas have to hustle those buns before McDonalds switches from the breakfast menu to the lunch menu. "McDonalds had all-day breakfast in 2015", you may say. Yare yare daze. In this world, where the Angels have destroyed half the world's population, the visionaries who made all-day breakfast possible no longer exist. The funding and logistical support for such an initiative has been siphoned away to fund the NERV agency. And so, manga man, the breakfast menu will end at 11:00am.

Anyway, yeah, Shinji gets under the Angel and catches it, then the girls swoop in to add their AT fields to his, and then Asuka stabs it in the eyeball to kill it.

I guess this makes sense.

With that settled, Misato receives a call from Gendo Ikari in the Antarctic. He congratulates her on her success, and handwaves the damage done to Eva Unit 01, since destroying Angels is their purpose. He then asks to speak with the pilot of Unit 01 and tells Shinji, directly, that he did a good job. Wow. I just assumed this would never happen, or maybe Gendo would say half of this with his dying breath in the final episode or something. But no, they just gave this away in Episode 12. Huh.

Later, the kids take up Misato on her steak dinner promise, but they choose a ramen stand instead, because they know she's poor as fuck. Also, Rei doesn't like meat, so this just makes sense. They should have gone to Taquiera Goku. This is so close, but yet so far.

Anyway, while they eat, Shinji tells Misato that he finally knows why he pilots the Eva. It's so he can hear the praise from his father, like he did today. That's what keeps him going, even if it took this long for him to get it.

Well, we're inching a little closer, I guess. This will probably all come together quickly, so let me use this space to throw out a few theories I've had in mind.

The Eva pilots have to be 14-year-olds for some reason. I can see no good reason for this, except that there must be some quality in them that literally did not exist prior to Second Impact. Either they got magic powers from it, or they've been genetically engineered to pilot Evas, or some other thing, but it's got to be some deal where the pilots were "invented" around the same time as the Evas themselves. NERV doesn't want to use fourteen year-olds, but there literally isn't anyone older who would be compatible, and they simply can't wait any longer for them to grow up.

I suspect that the Evas are Angels themselves, or some sort of technology built from Angel corpses, or something like that. That's why they have AT fields, and why no one else has any idea how to recreate the technology.

I also get a strong I Am Legend vibe from this whole story. I only saw the Will Smith movie, but as I understand it, the book follows a similar track, where this lone human is trying to get rid of the vampires, only to discover that the vampires see him as the monster, since he's this lone enemy who constantly tries to destroy their community. He's their legend now, just as Count Dracula was the legend in his culture once.

The Angels keep attacking NERV, getting bolder and smarter each time, and no one knows or cares why this keeps happening, because they're too worried about defending themselves. But it sure feels like the Angels are trying to defend themselves, since NERV is committed to their destruction. And if I'm right, it sure seems like Gendo Ikari is doing some shady shit involving Angels, which might make him seem like a major threat to the Angels. They're trying to destroy humanity before humanity destroys them. Second Impact itself may have been caused by Angels trying to stop Ikari or Misato's dad from hurting them.

So I predict this will get revealed near the end. The Angel attacks will get more intense and brutal, and then the kids will find out that they've been the baddies all along, and shit will hit the fan. Don't tell me if I'm right or not, but that's how things are looking to me right now.

[iri-scrublord]

Fresh Season 2 Weapon Review

Once again, I'm putting my faith in the automatic cut. If it doesn't show up for you guys, god help you. Or press the...what is it? J key? K key? One of those skips to the next post.

Below there be thoughts on the weapons that came out.

The Whale In The Room

There're less weapons each time one of these damn seasons comes out. The first season of each era bans a bunch of the old weapons as they figure out the balance with the new stuff. That's fine, there was still a ton of stuff to go through. The second season of the De-Recall era introduced 13 weapons.

The third introduced twelve. The fourth introduced eleven. Ten. Nine. Eleven. And this new one coming up has eight.

Squidforce is losing steam. If I've said it before, I'll say it again. They're a bunch of boomers and need to go. Get some fresh minds in there. Like me. I'll run the damn league I don't give a damn, you think I don't know my way around weapon and stage logistics? Hell, maybe I'll even allow all of the idols I sponsor to, I don't know, participate in the damn sport.

I'm not going to rant again about accessibility, I did that last time. But it's a damn sin that Big Man has to sit there, on a podcast, and wax poetic about turf and ranked - sorry, anarchy - and the only time he gets to hold the fuckin' weapons is when he's working his second job at war because Grizz doesn't give a shit about regulations (Thank Squod).

Anyway. #DownWithSF.

TL;DRs in the tags.

Deco's .52 Gal (w/ Curling Bomb and Splattercolor Screen)

I'm trying a new formatting thing with the titles. It's going to be a little less consistent with what people actually call the weapons, but I want to highlight the developers of the kits a little more. There's a lot of work that goes into making even the worst kits, and it's not fair to the engineers at each company not to shout out who made them.

I've already given my view on the Splattercolor Screen last time, so I'm not going to go on and on about it. They did rework it, but barely. Still gives you damn achromatopsia, but...I dunno, it's not as bad as before. Dialed it back, I guess. Blegh.

The weapon itself...? I mean it's fine? The .52 didn't really need a tool for getting in like the Curling Bomb, it's got healthy ink spread and decent range. Curling Bomb is usually best on weapons that either have trouble inking or short range.

Course, that's me trying to be impartial. If you want to know my bias, I love curling bombs because it's so much fun to splat people with them. It's almost as embarrassing as dying to a Sprinkler.

That's besides the point though. If I'm going to be forced to think about the synergy with...that thing...I guess it provides pretty good area denial. The .52 is a scary enough weapon that it can take out opponents at a safe distance, and anyone heading through the screen is going to be at even more of a disadvantage than they normally would be going into neutral with it. The curling bombs don't add much, though.

Custom's E-Liter 4K and E-Liter 4K Scope (w/ Squid Beakon and Kraken Royale)

So. I've been one to rag on E-Liters in the past. Like literally last season, I ragged on them. And before grading this weapon, I'd like to retract some of my previous statements.

E-Liters are perfectly respectable weapons, capable of being played in skilled and interesting ways.

It's you saltlicks that just sit in the same damn place for five minutes doing sweet FA but looking down your sights that piss me the fuck off. Do you spend your free time watching paint dry? Do you put your meals in the microwave at low power just so you can watch that shit turn for thirty minutes? The hell are you doing playing this sport when you could pick up the well-respected and more-your-speed human game of FUCKING BACKGAMMON

Anyway. The actual weapon. Once again, freaky special, but I did try it. Don't say I never did anything for you guys. And...I like it. E-Liter at its base is a very solid support weapon. Even just seeing one on the other team is psy-ops, and as long as you can convince the enemy that you're a threat, you don't actually have to follow through on too much to keep them on their toes. Squid Beakons are great to mobilize your team, since you won't be on the front lines unless you're a Battle E-Liter (respect). And the Kraken works wonders to get people off of you. Just try and use it smart, don't chase people off into the wild blue and get caught with your pants down when it expires.

Custom's Explosher (w/ Splash Wall and Triple Splashdown)

Ahhh, Triple Splashdown. The noobkiller. Menace to turf, nigh inconsequential to ranked - sorry, anarchy.

I like this kit. Explosher has always had a lot of trouble keeping people off of it, and its base kit of Point Sensor and Ink Storm didn't really do much to help it. But this one's got a Splash Wall to give a bit of buffer (though you're going to need to stack some Ink Savers if you want to do anything after throwing one), and Triple Splashdown as a panic button.

I don't normally like panic buttons at the best of times, but this is a weapon that really needs one. Getting rushed down sucks as this thing, and having some tools to help with being harrassed by Splooshes and the like really helped it out.

Dolphin's Dread Wringer (w/ Squid Beakon and Wave Breaker)

I don't like Squid Beakons quite as much on this guy. The Wave Breaker works nicely with such a slow but terrifying weapon. I love Wave Breakers on any kind of mid-to-long range slosher that can take advantage of tags over walls. So...most of them. But Squid Beakon?

I mean this thing isn't going to be on the front lines all the time, sure, and it never hurts to have beakons on the team, but...I don't know, I feel like if the team tried a little harder, Dolphin could have found something better for it. Hell, Dolphin makes Sprinklers, right? I would have taken a Sprinkler over Beakons to make for even more consistent specials.

Eh, I dunno. The Wave Breaker's nice.

Foil's Flingza Roller (w/ Suction Bomb and Splattercolor Screen)

I love the finish on this thing. The Flingza Roller to begin with is one of my favourite weapons to look at. Weird, rustic, industrial. The folding mechanism needs constant upkeep, sure, with a roller whose entire gimmick revolves around the flick, that's only natural, but it's so simple yet so great. And the navy blue finish is just, chef's kiss, y'know?

And yeah, another Splattercolor Screen, you knew they were coming.

...

Okay, I'm stalling a little. I freaking love this weapon. I loved the original Flingza, and as much as I wanted to hate this thing because of its special, I don't. I really don't. Suction Bombs just feel so good to make people scatter like minnows. And until Dynamo stops sucking major ass, this is the closest we're going to have to a long range roller. With Suction and Screen, this thing excels at flushing people out and following through. And I HATE that I think that because I still fucking hate the Screen.

Deco's Glooga Dualies (w/ Point Sensor and Trizooka)

First off, absolutely love the finish. Striking. They look like power tools.

But other than that? I dunno, they're...good. They're good. Tagging is always nice, though I kind of wish that they had the dart instead. More weapons need that thing, and I think it's neat. I could probably fit a dart onto Gloogas if I really wanted to, though I'm not sure I'd be able to make it league legal (#DownWithSF).

But I'm digressing. Going into a fantasyland where I get to make my own kits for league.

There's just not much exciting or standout about it, y'know? Tag someone, take 'em out. Tag someone, take 'em out. Gloogas are a pretty terrifying weapon as they are, and this is just a way more aggressive kit. But it's not like....burst bomb aggressive.

...Or line marker - sorry, Angle Shooter aggressive. (Nouveau I swear to god please change the name)

Shelly and Donny's Nautilus '79 (w/ Suction Bomb and Triple Splashdown)

What a gorgeous weapon. The gold-rimmed finish? God. Sheldon knows how to make 'em. Or, I should say, not Sheldon. I happen to know that this one was designed and manufactured by Shelly and Donny, the little guys that run the stores in Inkopolis. They look pretty young (I haven't asked ages) but for their first crack at a weapon kit they did a pretty good job. Pick this weapon up if you can. Even if they're in the pocket of Squidforce, it's always good to support up-and-coming designers.

Beyond the looks, this thing is serviceable. (Sorry, guys, but I'm not going to mince words just because you're new. Feedback is feedback, and if you only get gilded phrases you'll never grow!) Suction Bomb and Triple Splashdown is an alright combo, respectable, though I get the inkling that the two of them had Squidforce breathing down their neck trying to make them include one of the new specials in this thing. I haven't gotten a Splashdown dev kit yet, so I don't know how actually hard it is to work with, so I'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt and say that they did the best they could under the circumstances.

Dolphin's New Squiffer (w/ Autobomb and Zipcaster)

Fuck you guys they put a fun weapon in the game.

I don't care if it fucking sucks or is the best thing on the planet it's fucking fun okay

We can have a fun weapon every so fucking often as a treat

Custom's Douser Dualies FF (w/ Ink Mine and Killer Wail 5.1)

Alright, on to the brand new weapons they introduced. The meat of it.

That is to say the fucking pair of them come the FUCK ON-

These guys are interesting. Love the firehose inspiration, Custom's really been coming out lately. Three new kits (The E-Liter and Scope count as one) and a brand new weapon in a single season? Jeez, guys, slow down!

As for effectiveness, I like the special on them. They're pretty long range as it is, but they've got a damn slow kill time if they don't roll, and if they roll, they don't have the damn long range anymore. So the Wail really helps them out.

I think if I had to use a word t describe the Dousers it'd be 'underestimated'. That's probably going to wear off the more we see them, and understand how they work, but they just don't look like they should have the range that they do. Those hydraulic pumps do wonders man, what I wouldn't give for a three month internship at Custom. Custom's weapon department. I don't want to be stuck making actual fucking power tools.

Sub's a wash.

Sorella's Recycled Brella 24 Mk I (ft. Ammo Knights) (w/ Angle Shooter and Big Bubbler)

So you might be looking at the name and going "oh damn that's familiar"

And you might look at the aesthetic of it and go "Oh damn that's familiar"

And I kind of gave the game away by putting it in the heading but...yeah! This is a collaborative weapon between Sorella and Ammo Knights! Sheldon's never actually had the opportunity to make a brella before this, because Sorella's got a patent down on the damn things. Same reason I haven't been able to make any either. (Same reason they're all kinda dogshit tbh)

But they actually opened up the golden gates for a bit to let someone else in! And it's my man Sheldon! How did he do??

....Bad. Sheldon did bad.

Or, more accurately, I think Sorella did bad. I can see Sheldon's character in here. He always makes weird and interesting weapons with cool catches to them. This one's definitely the power in the shaft, and the fast-launching canopy. The aesthetics are so fucking good, too, I love what he did with it.

But I can feel Sorella's influence creeping over this thing like black fucking sludge. It's slow, the canopy's a joke, and what is that KIT? Big Bubbler??? On this???? Are you fucking joking?????

I'm so sorry they had to do you like this Sheldon I'm so fucking sorry

And that's Fresh Season 2. Done literally what, two hours before Sizzle Season 2 comes out.

I'm going to try and get that review done in time before the last minute, I promise, just...I dunno. Had a weird bit in the middle of the season where I just kinda. Existed, for a bit.

Side note, anybody get that? Like, two weeks in or something, you just got this striking sense of ennui, like your thoughts all just vanished for a couple of days? I talked to a few guys and they felt the same thing around the same time. Promise this isn't a race thing, but octos got hit especially hard. Hope you're all okay.

Take care of yourselves, guys. Burnout's real.

[27-royal-teas]

im gonna controversially rank every fall out boy album (writing this i am realizing HOW fucking obsessed i am with this band holy shitttttt) just for funsies and pls dont attack me these are just my opinions!!! I love all the albums there are just some I like more than others open minds open arms yk

8.) take this to your grave

Hey i know im aware its a classic but im just not a huge fan. All the songs kind of sound the same, this is true for any first album i think, especially from this time period (for instance. All time low i love you to death but put up and shut up just wasnt IT for me). its still a really good album!!! but like. Ive also only listened to saturday and grand theft autumn off of it so i guess im not much one to talk. I definitely need to give this album another try when i get the time! It’s just kind of difficult for me to listen to. Like reading lord of the rings. Everyone says it’s a classic and it’s amazing but it’s fucking DIFFICULT to get through

7.) american beauty/american psycho

Its ranked this low simply because its kind of too mainstream. There are, of course, tons of bangers (see: twin skeletons, favorite record, fourth of july) but yeah. I do end up skipping a lot of the songs on this album just cause they were really overplayed, but ive forcibly distanced myself from the more overplayed songs enough that an occasional relisten wont make me want to rip my ears off. Still a good album, (none of these are BAD ALBUMS by any means, just,,, not my favorite) 

6.) save rock and roll

Best way to come back from the dead imo. I love this album. I listened to it with the commentary queued before each song and it really did enhance the whole thing by listening to them discuss the meaning behind each one. Not a huge fan of ALL the features- i like all the songs and i wont skip most of them but i just dont really like courtney loves feature tbh shes kind of off the beat in her verse and my brain doesnt like it but other than that its a really good album. Also the youngblood chronicles have my entire heart on a plate istg

5.) from under the cork tree

I love this album i really do!! There are just other albums i like MORE. its a fantastic album full of fantastic songs (Our Lawyer and I Slept With Someone being my two favorites besides the obvious) and so many have really just become huge milestones in pop punk and emo music as we know it. This album was fucking INFLUENTIAL and really changed the entire music industry as a whole. How can you not love it??

4.) MANIA

Ah, mania, my musical wife. I love her so. I love this album so much, I don’t understand why it gets so much hate. Sure its different but i like different. It feels like there was a lot of love put into this album idk. Also there are no skips for me on this one (except for Hold Me Tight or Don’t, depending on what mood im in- ever since I found out Joe never plays guitar in that song at all it’s kind of changed my whole view of it). It really does bring to life how close the links are between music, how they’re not so far apart after all, how we can bridge the gap and make something purposeful and new. 

3.) so much (for) stardust

This was my first album cycle as a fan and i am having a marvelous time.  I feel like partly because of that its ranked so high, but i love this album to death. No skips, except maybe flu game. Loved the resurgence of pete’s slam poetry and i really do think that the orchestral arrangements brought it all together. Overall sm(f)s is a great album and im glad it was my first with them

2.) infinity on high

I seriously love this album SO much. however i do recommend watching the video for carpal tunnel of love. i think it ruined me. It’s absolutely horrifying but everyone should have the experience of being absolutely horrified by a fall out boy video at least once. Either way, great album and Hum Hallelujah is one of my favorite songs by fob. Everything on it is just so well made

1 ) folie a deux

I mean what else can i say? Its, in my opinion, the best fall out boy album of them all. The craftsmanship feels like someone really put their heart and soul into it. There is some delicate care within these walls. What A Catch makes me cry every time. My friends have heard me talk about 27 enough. Tiffany Blews is incredible. It’s just,, so FULL. idk

In conclusion you really can’t go wrong with any of fobs albums!!!! They are all hella bangers !!! Incredible masterpieces!!!! If you haven’t listened to any I highly recommend!!!!!

[jossoares]

I Played No More Heroes

This was actually not my first Suda51 game, as I had randomly played Killer is Dead years before, but this is the first one I paid attention to, I guess.

It’s a game about a loser who sucks who lives in a shitty, ugly town and does menial tasks so he can kill people for no reason. Most of the game is actually pretty boring. In-between each ranked fight, you have to do small jobs here and there to afford getting to the next fight. Even when you do get to a ranked fight, you still have to fight through corridors of piss-easy enemies (though maybe that was just because I was playing on Easy mode. Yes, I am a scrub).

Most of No More Heroes is about pressing buttons. You press the button to ride your (terrible-to-control) bike to the next location, you press the button to lift some weights, you press the button to carry coconuts around. When you’re fighting enemies, you have to figure out if you press the button to go high or the one to go low.

Of course, the catharsis is in the boss fights. They’re what the game’s all about. After all your hard work, you’re rewarded with a decently fun battle, and then it’s on to the next one.

It really struck me just how meaningless the killing was. That’s the joke. It’s a game that completely rejects story, and makes fun of the player’s yearning for narrative. What do you want that for? Would it really make you feel better if you knew he had some tragic backstory, that he was on some path to revenge? It understands interaction and gameplay as the main form of audience engagement, and sees “plot” as a form of useless set-dressing. The story starts when you press the button to slash the sword. The game teases you at the end with a plot, but gives you no satisfying conclusion and straight-up skips through the final boss’ monologue before laughing in your face for being mad.

In that sense, it’s maybe the only real video-game out there.

Santa Destroy sucks. It’s ugly and desolate, and I don’t think that was by accident. If there is one thing that is extremely strong about No More Heroes, is its art direction. The environments for the ranked fights are dark, colorful, cool, and their high-contrast style really contrasts with Santa Destroy’s grey monotomy. It’s a shitty town!

Appropriately, Travis Touchdown is a massive loser. He’s a cum gremlin who spends all day sitting in his armchair and jacking off. He’s a redditor who got his personality from comic books and porn. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have any friends. He jacks off to recharge his sword.

All that combined makes No More Heroes probably the most salient parody of the concept of “America” or “The American Dream”. Rather than being a story about corrupted morals or falling from the top, it’s about the meaninglesness of the grind itself. Travis works shitty jobs so he can make the money to kill other assassins to get to the top, but for no reason. Just to do it. I guess there is the promise of getting laid, but I don’t think he even needed that. Otherwise, there is no reward involved. It’s like making an NFT. Travis sits on his armchair reminds me of that scene from Scarface, in which Tony Montana sits at his golden bathtub, complaining to no one in particular, surrounded by luxury but all alone. Travis is the same, but the room sucks. There is not even the premise of ostentatious wealth.

An illustrative moment is on the way to the Rank I fight, where you get your bike stolen and have to walk on foot to your destination, which takes a good 5 minutes. You’re forced to actually look around the town instead of speeding through it on a bike, and what strikes you is how ugly and lifeless everything is. This is the world you live in. You’re fighting to be the ruler of an empty kingdom.

Everything sucks and nothing you do matters. 7/10.

[anhandfulgirl18]

TAYLOR SWIFT'S COLLABORATIONS RANKED. (Part 1)

In light of the recent Billboard article in which Taylor Swift's collaborations were ranked, I decided to present my own personal ranking of said collaborations, since Billboard's – in my opinion – sucked. (Like, did you guys seriously ranked The Last Time as the last one!?). This is the most *unbiased* ranking according to an hard-core swiftie.

(GIF credit to @ibytam-mp3)

(Part Two; Part Three)

29) Big Red Machine - Birch (feat. Taylor Swift)

I don't have much to say, except that I've only listened to this song once, and maybe because I'm not mother tongue or maybe I wasn't paying attention to the lyrics but I didn't get the meaning. That's all I'm gonna say.

28) Long Live (feat. Paula Fernández)

Same thing with Birch. I've only listened to this version once a long time ago and I didn't quite like it, since the OG version is so near and dear to my heart. But, like I've said, I listened to it a long time ago, so maybe if I go back and give another listen maybe I'll change my mind... I'm not entirely sure tho.

27) Lover (Remix) [feat. Shawn Mendes]

Nothing to say here: Lover (the OG version) was 100 times better. I've only listened to this song once and never listened to it again. This version is an instant skip... Sorry... I guess.

26) ME! (feat. Brandon Urie)

This song is great, however personally I'm a depressed human being, so it's too upbeat for me and my standards. But there has been a time when I used to listen to it on repeat, so it really depends on the mood I'm in, I guess.

25) John Mayer - Half of My Heart (feat. Taylor Swift)

Okay, I know that I've said that this was going to be unbiased, but, guess what? I LIED! (and you believed me, poor fool). What can I say except the fact that this is a John Mayer's song (is this the correct spelling of his name?). I couldn't rank it as the last one because there was a time when I used to listen to this song on repeat, I was obsessed. And then Dear John happened.

24) Ed Sheeran - The Joker and the Queen (feat. Taylor Swift)

Ugh, it breaks my heart to rank this song so low, but logistically I have no choice. I really enjoy this song, however compared to other collaborations between these two lyrical geniuses, I have to admit that this isn't my favourite one.

23) HAIM - Gasoline (feat. Taylor Swift)

Some people are gonna hate me for this, but I have an explanation. I just have a love and "hate" relationship with this song – some days I can listen to it on repeat and some days I just skip right to the next song.

22) Boys Like Girls - Two Is Better Than One (feat. Taylor Swift)

I really like this song, but, again, this is a logistical choice, aka there are other collaborators that I like more, so I had to make this sacrifice. Nothing else to say.

21) Soon You'll Get Better (feat. The Chicks)

Amazing lyrics, but too sad and it hits too close to home. Only listened to it a couple of times while bawling my eyes out. If it's not one of the last songs, it's thanks to its heartbreaking lyrics.

That's all for now. If you arrived this far, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. If you're interested to see how I ranked the rest of the songs, go check Part Two.

[lunarlagomorph]

Ok this time i actually wrote out what i thought of tsukihime. Im readmoring both for spoilers and length

First off, kohaku's route: really incredible and the way it builds off hisui's route flips a lot of things that seemed innocent on your head, and makes you pay attention to the parts of the plot you already know to understand what Kohaku is really doing and feeling. A good example of this is when Kohaku cuts her finger while cooking and says she can just imagine her hand as a doll hand; in hisui's route this comes across as weird and having more to it, obviously, but knowing exactly what she means makes it a lot sadder to hear.

In general, I think that's one of Tsukihime's strengths you are essentially hearing the same story multiple times, but it manages to recontextualize everything each time and never gets too boring. Certainly there is the difference between the near and far side routes, as well as among the routes themselves, but even those have so many similarities due to shiki's (and SHIKI's) backstory, shiki's connection to the killer, etc. But the timing of the reveals, what shiki does and doesn't know, and a bunch of other things keep the same information feeling fresh, and really lets the game explore all sides of the characters relationships.

Though btw that does remind me why is roa just. Not in the second half? Did he not reincarnate as SHIKI in those? We see Arcueid is in town so one imagines she is here to kill roa. I mean she could just be here to kill the vampire serial killer (SHIKI) but if thats the case she does a real shit job lol. It wasnr that bothersome but it was a little weird to have zero explanation about a major change to backstory.

Anyways i think the near side routes were fine, and arcueid and ciel are both really interesting, fun characters (though i liked arcueid infinitely more) but they definitely lacked the emotional depth the far side routes had. Honestly i knew id like kohaku and hisui as much as i do but i didnt expect to grow to love Akiha as much as i did. It is unfortunate her character is a bit weighed down by nasu's incest fetish or whatever was up with that but pushing past the weird stuff that i think she ended up my favorite character.

And pushing past the weird stuff is like. Required to read tsukihime. Though i will say the sex scenes were very easy to skip thanks tk nasu having specific music for sex lol.

I think besides the weird stuff, though, Tsukihime's major flaw is just the weakness of its themes and symbolism. Which is fine; it more than makes up for that in terms of character depth as well as entertainment quality. But after reading umineko, for example (wow bringing up umineko who would have thought) i really took away a lot of meaning and it's still something i think about in terms of symbolism and themes to this day. The lessons Tsukihime teaches are "killing is bad" and "being nice and forgiving people is good" from what i could tell (though as i let it simmer in my brain i may changs my mind) and those are the same themes as like. Stevens university lol. Again it does a grest job bringing emotional depth to shiki's decision to choose kindness and fight against his nanaya blood or what-not, it just didnt feel like i walked away a changed person like with umineko and similar works. All this does is stops it from being my favorite thing ever, but it was still really enjoyable. I don't do numeric ratings but i think id put this somewhere above steins;gate, and then lowered a bit to account for the fact that nasu was way too horny and way too weird. Which btw i loved steins gate so that means i really loved tsukihime.

Random other thoughtz:

Route ranking:

Hisui=Kohaku > Akiha > Arcueid > Ciel

Character Ranking:

Akiha > Arcueid > Hisui > Kohaku > Ciel >>> inui > yumizuka > nvnsqr chaos > SHIKI > roa(i guess).

This makes me feel mean ranking kohaku so low but honestly all of the route characters were incredible so its not that i didnt like her.

Oh right what the hell was up with sensei i thought shed be a part of the plot. Idk if its sequel bait or what but i was a little annoyed lol.

Ok i think thats it. Im sure no one read this lol but if u did thx

[tinyshe]

An Essay on Man: Epistle I

By Alexander Pope

To Henry St. John, Lord Bolingbroke

Awake, my St. John! leave all meaner things

To low ambition, and the pride of kings.

Let us (since life can little more supply

Than just to look about us and to die)

Expatiate free o'er all this scene of man;

A mighty maze! but not without a plan;

A wild, where weeds and flow'rs promiscuous shoot;

Or garden, tempting with forbidden fruit.

Together let us beat this ample field,

Try what the open, what the covert yield;

The latent tracts, the giddy heights explore

Of all who blindly creep, or sightless soar;

Eye Nature's walks, shoot folly as it flies,

And catch the manners living as they rise;

Laugh where we must, be candid where we can;

But vindicate the ways of God to man.

I.

Say first, of God above, or man below,

What can we reason, but from what we know?

Of man what see we, but his station here,

From which to reason, or to which refer?

Through worlds unnumber'd though the God be known,

'Tis ours to trace him only in our own.

He, who through vast immensity can pierce,

See worlds on worlds compose one universe,

Observe how system into system runs,

What other planets circle other suns,

What varied being peoples ev'ry star,

May tell why Heav'n has made us as we are.

But of this frame the bearings, and the ties,

The strong connections, nice dependencies,

Gradations just, has thy pervading soul

Look'd through? or can a part contain the whole?

Is the great chain, that draws all to agree,

And drawn supports, upheld by God, or thee?

II.

Presumptuous man! the reason wouldst thou find,

Why form'd so weak, so little, and so blind?

First, if thou canst, the harder reason guess,

Why form'd no weaker, blinder, and no less!

Ask of thy mother earth, why oaks are made

Taller or stronger than the weeds they shade?

Or ask of yonder argent fields above,

Why Jove's satellites are less than Jove?

Of systems possible, if 'tis confest

That Wisdom infinite must form the best,

Where all must full or not coherent be,

And all that rises, rise in due degree;

Then, in the scale of reas'ning life, 'tis plain

There must be somewhere, such a rank as man:

And all the question (wrangle e'er so long)

Is only this, if God has plac'd him wrong?

Respecting man, whatever wrong we call,

May, must be right, as relative to all.

In human works, though labour'd on with pain,

A thousand movements scarce one purpose gain;

In God's, one single can its end produce;

Yet serves to second too some other use.

So man, who here seems principal alone,

Perhaps acts second to some sphere unknown,

Touches some wheel, or verges to some goal;

'Tis but a part we see, and not a whole.

When the proud steed shall know why man restrains

His fiery course, or drives him o'er the plains:

When the dull ox, why now he breaks the clod,

Is now a victim, and now Egypt's God:

Then shall man's pride and dulness comprehend

His actions', passions', being's, use and end;

Why doing, suff'ring, check'd, impell'd; and why

This hour a slave, the next a deity.

Then say not man's imperfect, Heav'n in fault;

Say rather, man's as perfect as he ought:

His knowledge measur'd to his state and place,

His time a moment, and a point his space.

If to be perfect in a certain sphere,

What matter, soon or late, or here or there?

The blest today is as completely so,

As who began a thousand years ago.

III.

Heav'n from all creatures hides the book of fate,

All but the page prescrib'd, their present state:

From brutes what men, from men what spirits know:

Or who could suffer being here below?

The lamb thy riot dooms to bleed today,

Had he thy reason, would he skip and play?

Pleas'd to the last, he crops the flow'ry food,

And licks the hand just rais'd to shed his blood.

Oh blindness to the future! kindly giv'n,

That each may fill the circle mark'd by Heav'n:

Who sees with equal eye, as God of all,

A hero perish, or a sparrow fall,

Atoms or systems into ruin hurl'd,

And now a bubble burst, and now a world.

Hope humbly then; with trembling pinions soar;

Wait the great teacher Death; and God adore!

What future bliss, he gives not thee to know,

But gives that hope to be thy blessing now.

Hope springs eternal in the human breast:

Man never is, but always to be blest:

The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home,

Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

Lo! the poor Indian, whose untutor'd mind

Sees God in clouds, or hears him in the wind;

His soul, proud science never taught to stray

Far as the solar walk, or milky way;

Yet simple nature to his hope has giv'n,

Behind the cloud-topt hill, an humbler heav'n;

Some safer world in depth of woods embrac'd,

Some happier island in the wat'ry waste,

Where slaves once more their native land behold,

No fiends torment, no Christians thirst for gold.

To be, contents his natural desire,

He asks no angel's wing, no seraph's fire;

But thinks, admitted to that equal sky,

His faithful dog shall bear him company.

IV.

Go, wiser thou! and, in thy scale of sense

Weigh thy opinion against Providence;

Call imperfection what thou fanciest such,

Say, here he gives too little, there too much:

Destroy all creatures for thy sport or gust,

Yet cry, if man's unhappy, God's unjust;

If man alone engross not Heav'n's high care,

Alone made perfect here, immortal there:

Snatch from his hand the balance and the rod,

Rejudge his justice, be the God of God.

In pride, in reas'ning pride, our error lies;

All quit their sphere, and rush into the skies.

Pride still is aiming at the blest abodes,

Men would be angels, angels would be gods.

Aspiring to be gods, if angels fell,

Aspiring to be angels, men rebel:

And who but wishes to invert the laws

Of order, sins against th' Eternal Cause.

V.

Ask for what end the heav'nly bodies shine,

Earth for whose use? Pride answers, " 'Tis for mine:

For me kind Nature wakes her genial pow'r,

Suckles each herb, and spreads out ev'ry flow'r;

Annual for me, the grape, the rose renew,

The juice nectareous, and the balmy dew;

For me, the mine a thousand treasures brings;

For me, health gushes from a thousand springs;

Seas roll to waft me, suns to light me rise;

My foot-stool earth, my canopy the skies."

But errs not Nature from this gracious end,

From burning suns when livid deaths descend,

When earthquakes swallow, or when tempests sweep

Towns to one grave, whole nations to the deep?

"No, ('tis replied) the first Almighty Cause

Acts not by partial, but by gen'ral laws;

Th' exceptions few; some change since all began:

And what created perfect?"—Why then man?

If the great end be human happiness,

Then Nature deviates; and can man do less?

As much that end a constant course requires

Of show'rs and sunshine, as of man's desires;

As much eternal springs and cloudless skies,

As men for ever temp'rate, calm, and wise.

If plagues or earthquakes break not Heav'n's design,

Why then a Borgia, or a Catiline?

Who knows but he, whose hand the lightning forms,

Who heaves old ocean, and who wings the storms,

Pours fierce ambition in a Cæsar's mind,

Or turns young Ammon loose to scourge mankind?

From pride, from pride, our very reas'ning springs;

Account for moral, as for nat'ral things:

Why charge we Heav'n in those, in these acquit?

In both, to reason right is to submit.

Better for us, perhaps, it might appear,

Were there all harmony, all virtue here;

That never air or ocean felt the wind;

That never passion discompos'd the mind.

But ALL subsists by elemental strife;

And passions are the elements of life.

The gen'ral order, since the whole began,

Is kept in nature, and is kept in man.

VI.

What would this man? Now upward will he soar,

And little less than angel, would be more;

Now looking downwards, just as griev'd appears

To want the strength of bulls, the fur of bears.

Made for his use all creatures if he call,

Say what their use, had he the pow'rs of all?

Nature to these, without profusion, kind,

The proper organs, proper pow'rs assign'd;

Each seeming want compensated of course,

Here with degrees of swiftness, there of force;

All in exact proportion to the state;

Nothing to add, and nothing to abate.

Each beast, each insect, happy in its own:

Is Heav'n unkind to man, and man alone?

Shall he alone, whom rational we call,

Be pleas'd with nothing, if not bless'd with all?

The bliss of man (could pride that blessing find)

Is not to act or think beyond mankind;

No pow'rs of body or of soul to share,

But what his nature and his state can bear.

Why has not man a microscopic eye?

For this plain reason, man is not a fly.

Say what the use, were finer optics giv'n,

T' inspect a mite, not comprehend the heav'n?

Or touch, if tremblingly alive all o'er,

To smart and agonize at ev'ry pore?

Or quick effluvia darting through the brain,

Die of a rose in aromatic pain?

If nature thunder'd in his op'ning ears,

And stunn'd him with the music of the spheres,

How would he wish that Heav'n had left him still

The whisp'ring zephyr, and the purling rill?

Who finds not Providence all good and wise,

Alike in what it gives, and what denies?

VII.

Far as creation's ample range extends,

The scale of sensual, mental pow'rs ascends:

Mark how it mounts, to man's imperial race,

From the green myriads in the peopled grass:

What modes of sight betwixt each wide extreme,

The mole's dim curtain, and the lynx's beam:

Of smell, the headlong lioness between,

And hound sagacious on the tainted green:

Of hearing, from the life that fills the flood,

To that which warbles through the vernal wood:

The spider's touch, how exquisitely fine!

Feels at each thread, and lives along the line:

In the nice bee, what sense so subtly true

From pois'nous herbs extracts the healing dew:

How instinct varies in the grov'lling swine,

Compar'd, half-reas'ning elephant, with thine:

'Twixt that, and reason, what a nice barrier;

For ever sep'rate, yet for ever near!

Remembrance and reflection how allied;

What thin partitions sense from thought divide:

And middle natures, how they long to join,

Yet never pass th' insuperable line!

Without this just gradation, could they be

Subjected, these to those, or all to thee?

The pow'rs of all subdu'd by thee alone,

Is not thy reason all these pow'rs in one?

VIII.

See, through this air, this ocean, and this earth,

All matter quick, and bursting into birth.

Above, how high, progressive life may go!

Around, how wide! how deep extend below!

Vast chain of being, which from God began,

Natures ethereal, human, angel, man,

Beast, bird, fish, insect! what no eye can see,

No glass can reach! from infinite to thee,

From thee to nothing!—On superior pow'rs

Were we to press, inferior might on ours:

Or in the full creation leave a void,

Where, one step broken, the great scale's destroy'd:

From nature's chain whatever link you strike,

Tenth or ten thousandth, breaks the chain alike.

And, if each system in gradation roll

Alike essential to th' amazing whole,

The least confusion but in one, not all

That system only, but the whole must fall.

Let earth unbalanc'd from her orbit fly,

Planets and suns run lawless through the sky;

Let ruling angels from their spheres be hurl'd,

Being on being wreck'd, and world on world;

Heav'n's whole foundations to their centre nod,

And nature tremble to the throne of God.

All this dread order break—for whom? for thee?

Vile worm!—Oh madness, pride, impiety!

IX.

What if the foot ordain'd the dust to tread,

Or hand to toil, aspir'd to be the head?

What if the head, the eye, or ear repin'd

To serve mere engines to the ruling mind?

Just as absurd for any part to claim

To be another, in this gen'ral frame:

Just as absurd, to mourn the tasks or pains,

The great directing Mind of All ordains.

All are but parts of one stupendous whole,

Whose body Nature is, and God the soul;

That, chang'd through all, and yet in all the same,

Great in the earth, as in th' ethereal frame,

Warms in the sun, refreshes in the breeze,

Glows in the stars, and blossoms in the trees,

Lives through all life, extends through all extent,

Spreads undivided, operates unspent,

Breathes in our soul, informs our mortal part,

As full, as perfect, in a hair as heart;

As full, as perfect, in vile man that mourns,

As the rapt seraph that adores and burns;

To him no high, no low, no great, no small;

He fills, he bounds, connects, and equals all.

X.

Cease then, nor order imperfection name:

Our proper bliss depends on what we blame.

Know thy own point: This kind, this due degree

Of blindness, weakness, Heav'n bestows on thee.

Submit.—In this, or any other sphere,

Secure to be as blest as thou canst bear:

Safe in the hand of one disposing pow'r,

Or in the natal, or the mortal hour.

All nature is but art, unknown to thee;

All chance, direction, which thou canst not see;

All discord, harmony, not understood;

All partial evil, universal good:

And, spite of pride, in erring reason's spite,

One truth is clear, Whatever is, is right.

[asoulofatlantis]

Jupp, my traitor-sensors were right, once again. This woman was shady from the very beginning.

So what we were experiencing in this game was first and foremost that the leading people in japan are all corrupt - which we knew already from the first game, so they didn’t pay that much attention to it. The second thing we experienced - and much stronger then the first one - was how easy it is to manipulate people who have a trauma from the past. Basically the game told us that those people are weak and easy to manipulate and that only if you have the power of friendship and family, you are stronger then your desire to give in to all those deep and dark feeling your trauma has brought you. And now, the third experience is that AIs are dangerous. And that they can easily get out of hand, if you give them the power and the time to learn things. No surprised there tho, right?

I saw in a video on YouTube ages ago that this would happen, so I was prepared for it from the very start (even tho I didn’t know WHY she would fall or who she was, just that she would fall) so this doesn’t shock me much, but it was still a bit painful to watch.

Okay, that I have not seen coming.

That was so cool! And kudos to Sophies Japanese voice-actor, that scream was amazing!

XD At least we do it with Ryujis very... unique style ^^’

Makes you wonder if that is the reason they constantly end up dragged into shit like that ^^’

Pretty!

It was clear that that would happen, but I am still a bit teary eyed here. (The lets player absolutely cries tho XD And I love how he tries to hide it.)

Its finally over! Even watching the end on Youtube, were I could skip fights and dungeons, it took A LOT longer to finish this game then I thought. And I am absolutely not sorry that I didn’t finish it myself. At the end, it would have been a torture for me, as the game hardly got any better after I stopped playing myself. And that way, I could at least enjoy what little there was to enjoy without the frustration of having to continue playing and stuff like that.

I give this game a questionable low ranking with only 6 out of 10 points. Which is... not very good. But I guess being over 5 it still makes it at least average ^^’

I will write a full review on my main Tumblr as per usual... although at this point I wonder if it isn’t stupid to play/watch the games here with live reactions and then write the review on my other Tumblr ^^’ But I will keep doing that for a little longer I guess.

The next thing you will likely see here, is my live reaction to Kuro two. People who are active in the Trails-Fandom likely know that those assholes from NISA forbid that we get a spreadsheet for any games anymore and thus its likely we will not be able to play Kuro 2 ourself until their ugly slow ass translators finish they god damn job in 2026 or so. (Just so you know, the Zerofield-team, who made the spreadsheets for FREE and translated the whole mainstory and even all sidestorys and all choices on top of it in Kuro, didn’t take much longer than 6 months for this. And here us NISA, taking years to get Ao and Zero out, even tho they already use another groups fan-translation because they are to lazy to do it themselves. Seriously, I could write an essay about why Falcom should quit working working with NISA and find someone else to translate there games... but I digress.)

In any case, since we will not be able to play the game ourselfs for a while, I will do a live reaction to watching a lets play. Because that will be my first time seeing things and thus this will certainly be a live-reaction to remember. Going in blind and not having any translation at all XD

See you at the end of this month, that can not come any faster, really.

[thefanficmonster]

It’s Only Fair

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing, Minor Spoilers for RE8: Village

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: It’s all fun and games while Corpse is simping over Lady Dimitrescu, seeing as how Y/N herself isn’t immune to that woman’s charms. However, things get ‘serious’ when Corpse has to deal with his girlfriend making heart eyes at the hammer wielding final lord - Heisenberg.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for this incredible request - it hit close to home, not gonna lie hehe. Thank you so much for the opportunity you gave me with this request, I had a ton of fun turning it into a fic and I hope you have at least half as much fun reading it! Love, Vy ❤

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Heisenberg remind you of Lucas from the seventh game? I don’t know, all this speakers communication is giving me flashbacks I’m not too fond of. That guy traumatized me.“ Y/N shudders in her seat from where she’s observing Corpse’s gameplay while keeping tabs on the speeding chat, answering as many of the comments as she can.

“No idea. Never played the game.“ Corpse wheezes out, feeling the pressure’s on and working up a little bit of a sweat seeing as how this is the last lord he’ll have to battle before probably having to square up with Mother Miranda. The fact he’s running low on ammo has been stressing him out but luckily he has Y/N there to comfort him every time. She doesn’t even need to use words to do so or even ask him what’s wrong - just placing her hand on his knee allows him to feel relaxed and as though everything will be alright even though it probably won’t be if he doesn’t collect some money, ammo or supplies for making ammo soon.

“Wooow, fake fan, huh?“ Y/N pokes his side teasingly, “No, nevermind, I know exactly why you chose to play this, skipping all the previous ones in the process.“ She prods on, continuing to mess with Corpse who gives her a side-smile after having held on a still face for such a long time, features frozen in his focused and on-edge state.

He rolls his eyes, deciding to play her game, “Oh yeah? Why do you think that is?”

She scoffs, “Maybe cause thee other games don’t have 9ft tall vampire ladies? I don’t know, I’m just shooting in the dark here.” She delivers another poke to his side, giggling devilishly as she does so.

Corpse quickly takes hold of her hand, murmuring: “Maybe...” under his breath before bringing it to his lips and giving her knuckles a kiss.

Y/N wiggles her hand free from his grasp, mock-offended by his words, “Knew it! I freaking- Whoa, hello there, sir.” She cuts herself off as the game enters into a scripted cutscene, showing off the final lord in all his glory. “Who is you?”

“Y/N, Heisenberg. Heisenberg, Y/N.” Corpse laughs, “I forgot you missed the episode where he was first introduced.” 

“Damn do I regret that now.“ She whispers, eyes glued to the game instead of the screen of her laptop where she’s been fetching comments flying by. No one can blame the girl, she’s got a justified reason to be distracted. “Wish we met sooner, Mr. Heisenberg.“

Corpse finds his jaw on the floor in an instant as his head snaps to face his girlfriend, “Excuse me, what’s that supposed to mean?!”

Y/N frowns, narrowing her eyes at her boyfriend as she finally brings herself to tear her eyes off the screen where now the game has been paused. “What? You now get to complain? After I didn’t say shit about you drooling all over Lady Dimitrescu? It’s only fair I get my own simp-worthy subject, don’t you think?”

Corpse rolls his eyes, “This deal doesn’t seem like it’ll benefit you much - I get a hot, classy and rich vampire lady and you get...” he motions at the screen, his face twisting in a displeased expression, “...him.”

“Oh trust me, I’ll be perfectly benefited, don’t ya worry.“ She shoots him a wink, cackling quietly yet evilly at the shock-disappointment het comment is met with on her boyfriend’s part. “What?“ She asks though laughter, “He’s hella hot!“

“Ok, that’s it.“ Corpse gets up, pushing the desk chair Y/N’s sitting in forward, rolling it on its wheels towards the door, “You’ll be in exile until this chapter’s done with. I can’t have you simping all over the place, it’s bad for business. I mean, if you fall for guys who look like him, God knows what people will think I look like.“

“Well, you do need a shower but...“ Y/N comments through a fit of giggles, kicking her legs as to get up and off the chair but by the time she’s able to react, he’s already rolled her out in the hallway and shut the door of the recording room behind himself as though she can’t just open it and walk back in. Which is exactly what she does, much to his dismay - but she only pokes her head inside, “You’re right, it’s bad for your image, so I’ll clarify.“ She clears her throat, raising her voice as for it to be picked up by Corpse’s mic from across the room, “The two men in question don’t look at all alike, folks! Heisenberg is way hotter than Corpse!“

“OUT!“ Corpse shouts, sounding as threatening as he can while laughing his ass off alongside Y/N who has followed his ‘order‘ and stepped out in the hallway where her laughter can still be heard. “Guess the longer I don’t shower, the hotter I’ll appear to Y/N. Remind me to buy myself a cape as well. Wonder how much factories cost around the West Coast...“

“COPYCAT!“ Comes Y/N’s shout from outside the door, causing Corpse to break out in another fit of laughter.

Never did Corpse think he’d be trying to cop the ranks of a video game villain but here he is, actually googling the price of cape coats and he’s never felt more bemused with himself - ok, that may or may not be a lie considering he’s really digging the coats he finds for sale online.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[brrahbrrahcharacterimagines]

Quickie (Might Guy x Reader) *Smut*

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Might Guy x Reader

Word Count: 2192

Warnings: Alcohol, swearing, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), quickie, dirty talk, praise kink, lots of dirty sex things

A/N: oop and again my thirstiness reaches over 2000 words... enjoy

Your week couldn't have been much worse. You were only assigned low-ranking missions despite your skill. Instead of going off to save the leaf village, you saved a cat from a tree and pulled weeds. It couldn't have gotten much lower than that.

It isn't that you aren't powerful. Your jutsu is on par with the likes of Guy or Kakashi, so you don't know why you drew the short stick this week.

On top of that, on your way home from the store you dropped an armful of groceries and apples rolled across the street in front of a group of civilians. Already not liking to be looked at so often in your uniform, looking clumsy while people watched was somewhat of a final straw. When Kakashi told you he was getting a group together to go out, you didn't hesitate to say yes.

A couple of your colleagues were already at the bar when you got there, but none of your close friends. You made your way to the counter, calling the bartender over.

"Can I get a tequila sunrise? Extra tequila?" You ask the man behind the counter. He chuckles back, nodding and making your drink.

Handing it over to you, the drink doesn't stay in your hand for long. After a while you've had a second, and before you knew it you were ready to hit the dance floor. You glanced back over towards the other Shinobi, seeing Kakashi finally made it. You smiled at him with a little wave before making your way to the floor.

You let the music take hold of your body, the bass becoming your heartbeat as you moved to the rhythm. You didn't mind dancing alone, it was freeing. It was as if you were letting go of all the stresses of the week. You moved your hips back and forth to the beat, flipping your hair every so often. You felt hot.

-

Guy didn't want to go out tonight. He'd told Kakashi he wasn't feeling it, but Kakashi could be more persistent than just about anyone. All Kakashi had to do was tell Guy that he could outdrink him, and Guy had to show up just to prove him wrong.

Walking in, Guy noticed pretty much everyone was already there. he made his way to Kakashi, taking note of the glass of water in front of him.

"Waiting on me to start our competition?" Asked guy with a confident smile.

"Oh, hey Guy!" Said Kakashi with a wave. While his tone was cheerful, Guy sensed a note of sarcasm underneath. "I guess you'll win tonight, I'm the sober monitor tonight."

Damn it, thought Guy, he got me.

Deciding to enjoy himself anyway, Guy ordered some sake to get started. Looking around, he noticed a member of the party was missing. He knows Kakashi had asked you to come, but when he didn't find you at the table he figured you had decided not to come after all.

That's when he caught a glimpse of (h/c) hair from the dance floor. You were nearly straight in front of him, dancing without a care in the world. You had a smile on your face, lost in the music. Guy couldn't help but stare at you. You looked so...

Youthful.

He had always admired your skills in taijutsu. He liked the fact that you valued it in the same way that he did. Yet, he felt something more than just admiration when he looked at you tonight. Looking at you out on the dance floor, Guy couldn't help but notice just how attractive you were. His eyes made their way up and down the curves of your body, lingering on your chest to admire the fact that you had chosen to wear a low-cut dress tonight.

Lower down, he stared at the way you swung your body to the beat. The way your hips moved were almost sinful.

Guy cleared his throat, turning away. He felt a blush rise to his cheeks, hoping nobody saw in the dim light. Unluckily for him, as soon as he turned away he came face to face with Kakashi.

"See something you like?" He teased. Guy could only feel his blush growing stronger as he tried to stammer out an acceptable response. Kakashi just chuckled at his coworker. "Go say hi. It's not like she's a stranger."

Not one to let Kakashi get the last laugh, Guy decided to actually follow through with his joking advice.

-

You had no idea how long you had been dancing. The songs flowed one to the next, seamless transitions making sure you would have no idea how many songs passed as you danced the night away.

"May I join you?" Asked a familiar voice, jolting you from your trance.

"Guy!" You exclaimed, turning around to face him. Your breathless smile made his heart skip a beat, but you didn't notice. "I'm glad you made it."

Guy returned your smile, "I didn't know you would be here. I'm happy I was wrong."

You continued moving, more mindful of your colleague in front of you. He was a really good dancer, which wasn't all that surprising. In many ways taijutsu is a dance in itself, and his skill with it could explain his skill in moving his body now.

The two of you danced together, keeping a respectable distance. That was, until, you saw a mischievous glint cross his eye. Guy began walking away, and you had to admit you were sad to see him go. You turned your thoughts back to the song, moving in time to the rhythm as you assumed he walked away. Then you felt them on you.

His hands.

You felt two large hands grab you by the hips. It would have scared you had you not recognized the green sleeves around the wrists.

Your breath caught in your throat, causing a smile to rise to Guy's face even though you couldn't see it. He began moving in time with you, swaying to the beat behind you. He was almost tantalizingly close to you, and you felt your breath get heavier. How had you never noticed him like this before?

The song transitioned to the next, the pace a bit faster. You took a leap of faith.

Leaning forward just enough, you shook your hips from side to side without moving Guy's hands. You felt them grab onto you tighter, only spurring you on as you began to grind against your fellow ninja.

At first you tried to ignore it, but soon it was impossible not to feel his hardening cock against your ass. It would be a lie to say it wasn't only spurring you to continue. It was hard to deny the way his reaction was making you feel, a tingle shooting down to your core.

You had just started to get into it when he used his grip on you to force you upright again.

You felt your heart drop. Maybe you shouldn't have done that.

"Meet me in the bathroom in five minutes." Said Guy into your ear, the roughness of his voice making you lust for the man even more. Admittedly, you watched as he walked away. He winked at you before sauntering off, the muscles on his back defined as he turned away from you.

Five minutes couldn't pass by fast enough.

-

Guy entered the bathroom, taking a deep breath once he was inside. He didn't know what had come over him, but he needed you. He needed you bad, and he needed you now. His head was spinning just thinking about it, and he'd barely had a cup of sake. The way you felt under his hands, and pressed up against him, was what was making him feel this way.

He was never this needy. Guy was always the one to have this effect on women, never the other way around. Sure, he'd had plenty of experience. But he had never been so desperate for the bathroom door to open and see you standing there.

As the minutes passed, he began to worry if it had been a mistake. What if you weren't coming? You could be with the rest of your friends right now, laughing about what he had just said to you. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind. You weren't like that. Right?

He heard the bathroom door swing open, the quiet click of a lock accompanying its close.

"Hey," you said.

-

You mentally smacked yourself at your word choice. That's really all you could come up with?

Looking up at Guy, you knew you looked needy. Lust overwhelmed your senses as you took in his strong physique. He made his way towards you, leaning down towards your lips. You eyes fluttered shut.

"Hey," he said. You opened your eyes to see a cocky smile plastered on his face.

"Shut up," you replied, not caring much for his teasing as you smashed your lips to his. As soon as you did he wrapped his arms around you tightly, kissing you back hungrily. You couldn't help but moan into his mouth at the feeling, only spurring him on.

You grabbed at his chest, using a fistful of his uniform to try and pull him even closer to you. His hands wandered lower, pulling up the short skirt of your dress to grope your ass. He growled lowly, kneading at the soft flesh.

Guy's lips moved downwards to the side of your neck, kissing a trail until he found your sweet spot. He stopped, sucking, biting, and kissing as all you could do was moan for him. You knew you would have to explain the hickey to your team later, but right now you didn't care. All you cared about was how good it felt to have Guy's lips on your body.

Your own hands wandered lower on Guy's body, palming his erection through his pants. He wasn't even fully hard yet, and you could feel how big he was. He bucked his hips towards you as you continued jacking him off through the fabric that felt way too thick for your liking.

Guy reached down, and in one swift movement your panties were on the ground. You felt his calloused hands run up your inner thighs, sending a shiver up your spine.

You gasped, feeling his fingers make their way to your soft folds as his lips found their way back to your own

"You're so fucking wet for me baby," he mumbled against you lips, "I bet this is what you wanted, wasn't it?"

You didn't say anything at first, taken by surprise at his dirty talk. It wasn't something you expected out of Guy, but you weren't complaining.

He pushed a finger into your hold, making you moan. You rolled your hips against his hand, practically begging for more. He gave you just that, starting to pump two fingers in and out of your dripping pussy.

"Guy," you moaned. He felt his dick twitch at the way his name fell from your lips. He was sure you'd be the death of him if you kept this up.

"God baby," he said, "you're so tight."

His tongue explored you mouth as he kept fingering you, curling his fingers inside in a way that only made you want him more.

"Turn around for me." You did as he asked, turning around so that your ass was on display for him. You braced your arms on the wall, feeling Guy press himself up behind you. "Good girl," he whispered in your ear.

You heard clothes ruffle as he undressed enough to get his cock out. You barely had any warning before he pulled up your dress and shoved his hard cock into your soaking cunt.

"Fuck Guy!" You gasped. You could feel his thrust falter at your words, only making you more confident. You pushed your hips back towards him. He gave you a moment to regain your breath, pulling out just enough to slam back into you.

He started off hard and fast, and you were already seeing stars. You wouldn't last very long if he kept this up, and you suspected neither would he.

"I'm already so fucking close baby," you groan, "your cock feels so fucking good." He groaned in response, continuing to fuck you until it was all you could think about. With every thrust he hit deep inside of you, making you closer and closer to your release. Your moans grew louder as you felt the pressure build up inside you. "God you're gonna make me cum," you moaned, almost screaming as you hit your high.

Your walls clenched around Guy's dick, pushing him over the edge as he spilled his seed inside of you. You didn't even care that he didn't pull out, too busy riding out your own orgasm.

After a moment, he pulled out of you and re-dressed himself.

"I'll see you around," he said with a wink, leaving you in the bathroom to process what had just happened. You knew this would be far from the last time.

-

-

-

MASTERLIST

[retphienix]

Alright, some strawman made up person will twist this into reasons to call me a fake fan or insult my lack of a perfect score on my real save but here's some fan gushing:

For the past few days my best bud and I have been revisiting 4U, my favorite monhun, and it's been a ridiculously good time that's both reminded me of the many reasons it's my favorite as well as giving me excuses to look at it from new angles (and maybe find MORE I love).

And part of this revisit, which was not planned but ended up happening, has become us cheating through the single player because:

1) I have literally already done it before, all red checks on 3ds

2) He's never been a fan of the single players in monhun and I can't blame him because despite me liking them I agree- they are tutorials and a means to get some free monster parts to be better prepared for multiplayer (as well as leveling farms/food for the same).

So after doing most of low rank legit, we ended up messing with a x10 damage code, and then a straight up entirely bull shit "Instant Clear" code that skips quests, it's been amusing to see but it's safe to say neither of us are experiencing it as intended this time around lol.

That's mostly me getting stuff off my chest before exploding with love.

In addition to cheatin' the single player, I'm trying something new that I've never done in any monhun- actually reading all the dialogue (or almost all, I skipped a few by accident towards the start) and lemme tell ya if that didn't reinforce my feelings on 4U in perhaps unfair ways since I haven't given other titles the same chance lol.

So here's the thing: I could say literally too much about this game.

I could make an hour long dissertation on why this game NAILS so many aspects of monhun in ways I feel, through my nostalgia fueled nonsense goggles, no other monhun has come close to.

I could! And it'd suck! Because I'm inexperienced with the format and I'd get so wrapped up in my excitement and adoration that points would frequently get lost in translation!

So here's text instead lol.

First off, I can not believe just how fucking much I love the team in 4U compared to the other titles.

And again, I read the text this time, unfair bias, but even WITHOUT reading I felt this way and you know why??

Because 4U characterizes everyone SO FUCKING WELL and uses its cutscenes to SELL you on them all!

After having read the text, it's just 10x stronger, bud. This is the one team in monhun that nails the balance of quirky and competent PERFECTLY.

Every other monhun I've tried goes too far one way or the other, you have 3U being 90% serious lifeless characters and then the funny mis-adventures of ChaCha and Kayamba (who rule) so by the end I'm left going "Those sure were vendors I interacted with".

Gen (no GU because lack of experience) gave me nothing.

Like I can't remember a single 'character' it just felt like vendors leading to fights.

World tried like... really hard, and just didn't come ANYWHERE close to what 4U accomplished in no words (cutscenes only) or few words (dialogue included). World gave a quirky handler who never really felt capable in their job, but WAS enjoyably fun about it, a quiet vet who just straight up does nothing but pull out his long sword a few times (how 'cool'???), and a dream team of like, some guys who can look at a map.

Sick work, World.

And Rise mostly just made visuals and no character, you have ninja who does nothing, twins who do nothing (and eat), an elder who draws the monster icons I guess, and uh, blacksmith who I believe is talked up a touch???

And the thing is, this doesn't make any other monhun a bad entry- World and Rise have phenomenal takes on the gameplay that in many ways rank my favorite, but it's interesting to see 4U NAIL it and then the subsequent games kinda flounder in a puddle about it with forgettable attempts and no real cohesive 'family' unit to build you hunting adventure around.

I didn't want to just ramble about how I love my Capital "C" Caravan family a LOT and think other monhuns would be a bit better if they tried to match this AMAZING unit, I also just wanted to say I love 4U.

Just that.

Simple statement.

I love playing it. I love all I've accomplished in it. I love the harder single player missions (You best BELIEVE I plan on getting rainbow legit in this run! I might have cheated up to this point but I LOVE the rainbow quests and I wanna do em again!)

I love the Capital C.

I love how mix sets rule the day in this game.

I love how the mega ultra end game feels as well as how strong you can get- you get REALLY strong but you don't get to "What bullshit power creep is this?" levels like Iceborne.

I love the gimmick this game with Frenzy and Apex- they don't feel too ridiculous like Hyper or too dreadful in what mechanics they apply like AT, and the way they flow into gameplay via Frenzy and Wystones both actually ADDS to the experience rather than just being "This is a harder fight" and calling it a day.

I love pierce this game.

I love my Cera Cymmetry.

I love how content PACKED this title is without falling into world's live service hole (you CAN do content without doing that! ALWAYS BEEN TRUE!!!!).

I love the G hub with His Immenseness.

I love how the Caravan 9 "finale" before the dips into G Caravan 10 quests pop up has you fight alongside AI hunters!

I mean, uniquely defined and extremely limited AI hunters, but it's a concept Monhun SHOULD explore for single player and I liked it here!

I love the finale cutscene showing, glamorizing, and pulling no punches in displaying the monster hunting cycle! Go hunt! Win! Eat! Celebrate! Get Cocky! LOSE! Laugh it off!!!

What other monhun ends with a cutscene showing hunters losing and it's all played like "Well! BACK AT IT EVEN BETTER THIS TIME!" LOVE THAT!!

I love just so much about MH4U, I know this is disjointed, I ain't rambling about all I love about playing it when I should be, but this is my post. This is my love for the game.

Going away from this emulated copy I cheated on, here's my physical copy I didn't.

This is the game that stole at least 820 hours from me. (it was a tiny bit more than shown).

This is the game I'd go back to in a heartbeat, and having done so, I know I can always have the time of my life from HR1 on.

This is the game I played so much, and so seriously, that I bought a CPP and wore down my 3DS to the point where I CAN'T USE IT. The A, X, and R are all worn down to heck and need to be pressed with serious pressure and even the right angle to work anymore ALL because of 4U and Gen, and mostly 4U lol.

This game is what truly cemented Monhun into my life.

I started in 3U because a tutorial / call to action video sold me on the series. I played a lot of 3U.

But I also found a comfort spot and avoided learning how to play 'well'. I beat G rank, I did some of the hardest things you can do in 3U, but I was practically carried through on life powders and the kindness of players much more well informed than I was.

4U is where I decided to hang up my safety nets and learn how to play. It's where I fell in love with mixed sets and striving not to match the meta, but somehow beat it.

It's the game where I accidentally recreated fucking Hame sets just because I was trying to make the best set I could think of and it turns out doing that eventually lands you in a hame lol

It's my favorite Monster Hunter title.

By a long shot.

And it's funny, because most of that is because it does what Monster Hunter always does, but very well.

The gameplay is the best oldschool monhun ever got, flaws and all. I can argue all day that newschool has mastered a lot of ideas I wish oldschool had done, but there's a reason both have fans and I AM a fan of oldschool for where it's own strengths lay.

The roster is robust and a joy to explore.

The challenge is high where it needs to be, and there's an ungodly amount of end game challenge to chew through.

And what stands out to me are the little things that make it 4U.

The characters being memorable and likable instead of static vendors you forget seconds after meeting.

The plethora of friendly hunters I had full on conversations with through this title despite being a text only 3ds game- miles more than I ever had in World or Rise.

The end game I never truly got tired of. That one hits hard, because it's true, and it somehow IS unique to 4U for me.

And a community that pushed me to get better and always reminded me that being a friendly hunter is the best one you can be; Now that's something you don't get to see a ton of on the internet's version of monhun.

I fucking love 4U.

[rowansparrow]

By Any Other Name: Chapter Seven

Summary: You and Rex have a conversation on the rooftop.

Chapter Rating: Teen 

Warnings: Alcohol, some drunk-ness. Sad, so very sad.

Ships: Rex x Female!Reader, Fives x Female!Reader, Clone OC x Female!Reader, other ships tbd.

Tags: #ByAnyOtherName, #BAON

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: *insert that Always Sunny in Philadelphia Meme: “NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE, REX HAS BEEN IN LOVE WITH READER THE ENTIRE GODDAMN TIME* As always, bless @fat-zygerrian for being my beta reader!

Comment if you want to be tagged! Reblogs are SO appreciated!

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six

You were supposed to meet him that night.

You’d planned on going to 79’s instead of the rooftop as usual. Rose said the boys had missed you and wanted to play cards again. You’d gotten all dolled up and were about to head out when your comm beeped.

“Hey,” You grinned, shutting your apartment door behind you. “I was just heading out.”

“Yeah… about that,” Rose sounded embarrassed. “There’s been a change in plans. I won’t be able to make it. In fact, none of us will. We got – err – held up on base.”

“Really?” You asked, pausing as you started to head down to the main level of your building. “Okay… well can we meet after?”

“I’m not supposed to go off base but – yeah, yeah I’ll see what I can do. Keep your comm close.”

He hung up and you hesitated in the stairwell for a beat. Fuck it. Even if Rose couldn’t come along, you were still going to have a nice time tonight!

You had gotten more confident about going to 79’s ever since you and Rose had gotten close. You could recognize a few distinct faces now, just from people Rose had pointed out to you or introduced to you in passing. There was a notable absence of 501st blue, which at least confirmed Rose wasn’t just ditching you and had in fact gotten held up at the base with the rest of his battalion.

You approached the bar, settling in and glancing around to look for any familiar faces to keep you company while you waited for Rose. Further down the bar, you spotted Marshal Commander Cody and your breath hitched for just a moment. Rose had told you all about him – the most highly decorated clone soldier in the entire Republic Army. You would’ve been able to guess it even if Rose hadn’t told you about the curved scar on the side of his face. For the way Cody carried himself, even here, held an air of authority, of gravitas and poise.

He was talking to someone, the other person obscured by his own body. You ordered a drink, trying not to look as starstruck by the Commander as you felt.

“I’d try your luck with someone a little less ranked if I were you,” The bartender teased, catching you staring. “I’ve never once seen the Marshal Commander take up an offer to go home with somebody.”

“That’s – that isn’t my intention.” You blushed, taking the drink with a short huff. Still, you glanced at Cody again and watched him clap his hand on the shoulder of the man he’d been speaking with.

“Alright, see you around, Rex ‘ole boy. Stay out of trouble.”

Now that made you turn instantly. As Cody moved away, you were able to get a better look at the man he’d been talking to, and gods above, it was him. It was Captain Rex. Rose had told you so many stories about him that it felt strange finally seeing him in the flesh.

Rose had warned you about how much trouble you both could get in if anyone ever found out you were seeing each other. Your friendship was frowned upon enough as is, but now that it had become something more, Rose had given you the full dressing-down on what could happen to him if you were ever caught.

As such, you hadn’t ever met Rose’s superior officer, and since Rose wasn’t here…

You downed the rest of your drink quickly. There’s no reason the Captain would be suspicious of you. Besides, you wanted to meet him, get to know the man who was such a huge part of Rose’s life.

You wanted to meet his family.

“Hi.”

In truth, maybe your introduction could’ve been a little stronger. But as you sidled over to the Captain and leaned one hand on the bar, he gave you a small smile, nodding once.

“Ma’am.”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Rex seemed surprised and looked you over carefully. He seemed to be waging a war with himself for a split second but eventually nodded.

“I don’t see why not.”

You grinned, settling into the seat beside him and waving the bartender over, tucking a hand under your chin. “What’s your name? I’m Y/N.”

“Rex.” He replied, offering his hand to shake. You repressed the urge to giggle. He was such a gentleman.

“What do you drink, Rex?”

He chuckled. “Whiskey.”

“Two of those, then.” You told the bartender. Rex’s eyebrow jumped up but you barely noticed.

“So. You must be a Captain, right? With all this fancy gear?” You said, motioning to his pauldron and kama.

“How d’you know I’m not just some ARC trooper who likes showing off?” Rex replied, smirking and leaning forward a bit.

“I’ve met an ARC trooper or two, and you don’t seem the type to boast.”

Rex chuckled again, taking his glass as the bartender returned. “You must get around, then.”

It wasn’t an insult and you didn’t take it as such. “Maybe I’m just good at making friends.”

Rex smiled and his eyes seemed to appraise you for a moment, taking all of you in, calculating. He took a swig.

“You here with any of those friends?” He asked.

“All alone, tonight.” You replied. “My friends got held up and you looked lonely. Thought I’d keep you company. It’s the least I can do for a soldier like you.”

Rex chuckled, low and sweet. “Most pretty girls don’t just find themselves in 79’s.” Rex drawled, setting his glass down again. “From what I can tell, they’re usually looking for trouble.”

He turned slightly to face you better. “Are you looking for trouble, mesh’la?”

Your heart skipped a beat. You knew that word, but didn’t know what it meant. Rose had called you that before.

“It looks like I already found it.” You replied.

Rex grinned. “Then I guess you better stay close so I can keep a proper eye on you.”

You chuckled, picking up your own drink and finally taking a sip. The whiskey burned your throat but it warmed you to the core. Rex looked impressed which was its own bonus.

“You never answered my question.” You said. “Are you a Captain?”

“I command the 501st attack battalion.” Rex said, a note of pride in his voice.

“Ah, then you must know Echo and Fives.” You prompted.

Rex seemed to age ten years at just the mention of their names. “I take it those are the ARC troopers you’ve met?” He asked. “My condolences.”

You giggled. “We played cards a few times. They’re nice but definitely a handful.”

“They’re all a handful.” Rex waved over the bartender to get another drink. “Every last one of them. That’s why none of them were allowed off base tonight.”

“Oh?” You grinned. “Do tell.”

Once he got going talking about his men, he couldn’t stop. Rex regaled you with the story of how earlier that afternoon he’d discovered his men were not only hiding a loth cat in the barracks, but it had given birth. They had managed to keep it a secret for weeks until the kittens started wreaking havoc. According to his men, Fives and Hardcase had been the ringleaders.

“That’s what they all say at least.” Rex amended. “’Course, Fives’ll take credit for just about anything. But Rose and Echo were suspiciously quiet the whole time. Kix was the only one with the good sense not to show his face in the barracks when I caught them. Still, I’ve got a feeling he encouraged the others to go along with it. Di’kuts, all of them.”

He shook his head but smiled as you laughed. “Anyway. They’re cleaning up the mess and finding natborns to rehome all the kits with. And when they finish with that, they’re supposed to take over the latrine shifts and canteen shifts for any other battalions.”

“Aw, seems a steep punishment for hiding loth cats.” You laughed.

“You didn’t see the state of the barracks.” Rex said, shaking his head slowly. “Apparently a bucket of paint got upended. They should all be scrubbing paw prints out of the durasteel right about now.”

You smiled fondly at Rex. Even as he retold the story, you could tell he was trying not to smile at the antics. It was clear he cared very deeply for his men, even if he had to be the tired parent of them all.

“Sounds like they wear you out.” You teased. “You deserve a break.”

“Are you offering me one?” Rex prompted.

You tilted your head to the side. “What do you mean?”

Rex smirked, and downed the rest of his drink. He took a deep breath, as though he was steeling himself to ask you something.

“Y/N!”

You recognized the voice and turned quickly as Rose hurried up to you. He had a small streak of blue paint across his cheek, but otherwise was beaming.

“Hey, you should’ve told me you’d be here. I went all the way to your apartment and had to backtrack -.”

He noticed the Captain a beat too late and you watched as all the color comically drained from his face. “Captain! Sir!” He snapped to attention. “I ah – I can explain…”

You glanced between Rose and Rex, your own heart pounding. Rose had all but given away the two of you were seeing each other. Rex looked at Rose before looking at you. He then turned to his glass, picking it up and making a big scene of looking it over.

“Sir…?” Rose asked nervously.

“Oh, I’m just inspecting my beverage.” Rex replied smoothly. “I must’ve been drugged you see, because surely I am not seeing my Lieutenant standing here, not when he is under strict orders to stay on base tonight.”

Rose cringed. “Yeah, sir, about that -.”

“It’s my fault.” You spoke up quickly, throwing together a lie. “Rose and I met yesterday, we’d been playing Sabacc with some of his brothers and he very kindly walked me home afterwards. I promised him drinks tonight to thank him and I wouldn’t take no for an answer.” You glanced to Rose. “He was just being a gentleman.”

Rex raised an eyebrow, glancing at Rose. “Funny.” He said. “Could’ve sworn I saw you in the weight room with Fives last night.”

“We… came here afterwards sir.” Rose lied, shifting a little closer to you, almost protective. “Ask him, he’ll say the same thing.”

“I’m sure he will.” Rex stood, picking his helmet up off the counter and knocked his knuckles lightly against the bar. “It was lovely to meet you, ma’am.” He said. “Rose?”

Your soldier stood at attention once again but Rex just put a hand on his shoulder.

“We have a briefing tomorrow morning. Oh-eight-hundred. Don’t be late.”

“Thank you, sir.” Rose was barely audible over the roar of the music in the bar. He looked like his knees would give out at any moment.

You could’ve sworn you saw Rex give Rose a little wink, but it must’ve been a trick of the light. He gave you one last nod before quietly departing.

Neither you nor Rose saw him glance back at you over his shoulder one last time before stepping out of the bar.

~

You’d lost track of how long you sat on the roof with Rex. Partially because he’d gone downstairs and returned with a bottle of your favorite whiskey and two glasses, pouring drinks for you both.

“For Rose,” Rex toasted, clinking your glasses together.

You smiled and for the first time that you could remember, Rose’s name didn’t make your heart ache. “For Rose.”

You both tossed the glasses back, that familiar burn searing your throat and chest before you shook yourself out, watching as Rex poured you both a second glass, entirely unfazed.

“He was very unsubtle about sneaking off base to go see you.” Rex told you, leaning back on one hand and closing his eyes as the breeze kissed his cheeks. “I’d give him a job and it would either be done in record time or it would’ve been passed off to somebody else. He once almost missed a debriefing because he’d spent the night with you. Skidded in right as I was about to start.” He chuckled. “I didn’t mind. He was happy. Gods know we soldiers deserve whatever happiness we can find.”

You hummed, smiling as you took another drink. “He talked about you all the time.” You said, leaning slightly against Rex’s side. “Idolized you, actually. He told me about the battles you’d been in together, how well you led your men.” You smiled to yourself, finishing your second drink and making your way towards a third. “He told me about that virus. Blue Shadow Virus, right?”

Rex hummed, getting himself another drink as well. “That was an ugly mission.”

“He said you were hovering a lot.” You teased. “Because he was always so sick when he was little. You were worried about him.”

“Brothers were dropping dead, left and right. Hells, even Commander Tano passed out at one point.” Rex recalled, shuddering to himself. “I thought we were all going to die.”

“He told me he wasn’t scared because you weren’t scared.” You smiled. “I guess you did a good job of hiding it.”

“He had way too many close calls.” Rex chuckled. “That virus almost took him out. We got rescued just in time. There was another time he was scouting with me and a few others on Saleucami -.”

“I remember that. You were shot.” You recalled and Rex chuckled.

“He really did tell you everything, didn’t he?”

“He was terrified. He told me he thought you were dead, the way you flew off the back of the speeder after getting hit..” You murmured.

“What he probably didn’t tell you is that shot just barely missed him.” Rex replied. “I’d been leading but he’d circled around me to get in front. He was goofing around with Hardcase. Bolt whizzed just an inch past his head and hit me instead. He had a blaster burn on the side of his helmet to prove it.”

You shuddered at the thought. “He didn’t tell me that part.”

“Probably also didn’t tell you that he got shot pretty good on Toydaria.” Rex replied. “Not once, but twice, once in the leg and another straight through the chest. Kix thought for sure he was a goner.”

You were familiar with those wounds. A frown pulled your lips. “He didn’t tell me. I had to find them myself.” You grumbled, still bitter. “He’d come back from the mission and told me he’d gotten hurt, but it was nothing serious.” You threw back your drink again. “Bantha shit, if I brushed against him, he winced. Finally made him show me.”

“I’m sure he got an earful after that.” Rex laughed.

“Oh, he did. And he wasn’t even that bothered that he’d nearly died, no, he was more concerned about the fact that his tattoos had been damaged by the shots. He was worried he wouldn’t be able to get new ink over the scars.” You rolled your eyes. “That man…”

“He was just trying not to worry you.” Rex smiled, taking another drink.

“I always worry.” You murmured, rubbing your thumb along the rim of your glass. “Always. About all of you. I always worried that one day Rose would come home and tell me something had happened to Fives, Echo, you… or any of the others.” You chuckled humorlessly, finishing your drink. “And then… one day you showed up at my door instead.”

A heavy silence fell between you. Rex took your empty glass, filling it up once again.

“It seems so silly.” You said. “That he should survive all of that and then just get shot and killed during a routine supply drop. I thought he was unbreakable.” You shook your head. “Guess I was wrong.”

Rex wouldn’t look you in the eye, instead focusing very intently on the glass in his hands.

“It was quick.” Rex said finally, still avoiding your eyes. “He didn’t feel anything. I promise.”

“I know.” You gave him a small, sad smile, squeezing his bicep gently. “And I guess I have that at least. At least… at least I know he didn’t suffer. He wasn’t alone or – or afraid.”

You smiled wistfully, looking out over the skyline.

“There’s a dress in my closet,” You began. “It’s nothing fancy, just a white sundress with lace around the hem and sleeves.”

Rex already seemed to know where this was going. He took a very long drink and followed your gaze out towards the skyline.

“We were going to leave together.” You said quietly. “Get married. Have a family. He had this whole, crazy plan.” You chuckled. “I’d told him I wanted to think about it. It was a big decision, he’d be on the run for the rest of his life, hiding from the Republic. And I’d be part of that.”

You glanced over at Rex. “He told me he was going to tell you. He said we could trust you. Did he ever…?”

Rex shook his head. “No. He never got the chance.”

You nodded, turning back towards the sky. “I was going to say yes.” You whispered. “I was going to go with him when he came back. We were going to run away together… It was all very romantic.” You shook your head, staring down at your glass. “And it was so stupid.”

Rex was quiet for several long moments until finally he rose to his feet, offering you his hand.

“C’mon.” he murmured. “I think that’s enough drinking for one night. Let’s get you home.”

You nodded, taking his hand and letting him pull you to your feet. You swayed. You didn’t realize how much you’d had to drink until you stumbled, falling slightly against his chest.

“The Rose Lounge owner can’t hold her liquor?” Rex teased. “Ironic.”

“Shuddup.” You mumbled, giving him a little shove. “I can walk.”

“Oh no you can’t, Tipsy. C’mere.” He crouched down slightly, and you slumped against his back. He picked you up with ease, bouncing you once to hike you higher up his back. He wrapped his arms around your legs, holding them snug against his torso while your hands wrapped around his shoulders.

“Don’t puke on me.” Rex warned, carrying you piggyback style towards the stairs.

“’M gonna fall off.” You muttered.

“No you won’t. Trust me.”

Your eyes were heavy, cheek pressed against the back of Rex’s neck and you remembered a time very long ago when another man had carried you on his back to this rooftop, and said the very same thing.

“I trust you, Rose.”

Rex was still. You hadn’t noticed your slip, your eyes already slipping closed.

“Okay.” His voice echoed. “I’ve got you.”

I’ve got you.

~

TAG LIST:  @fat-zygerrian @ladydiomede @pro-fangirls-unsocial-life @threevie @cheesemachine44 @bubblyacey @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @loverofclones @starwarsgarbage @hockeyjedi13 @crazygirlwithasword @dar-manda-rjct @gotomarvelgal @baba-fett @whore4rex

[mari-beau]

GIVE ME A REASON: PART SIX - A Rogue One Fanfiction

This is a shorter installment, and maybe pointless… maybe I’m dragging this out too long… But also, who cares, I’m doing this for fun. I just love playing with them!

Read on AO3

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Title: Give Me A Reason: Part Six

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Characters: Jyn Erso POV, Cassian Andor

Pairing: Cassian/Jyn (mostly pre-ship?)

Spoilers: Rogue One; Episode IV A New Hope

Setting: Post-Rogue One AU (Cassian & Jyn live); Also during/post A New Hope

Warnings: Some coarse language. References to wounds. And… Cuddling?

Words: 1,720

Story Summary: Jyn’s entire universe has been turned on its head, so maybe she’s clinging a little too hard to the one thing she feels certain of (strangely enough) as she tries to figure out her place in the galaxy. And maybe she’s being a little overprotective of a wounded captain.

Also can be found on AO3.

The Death Star had come for them.

Again.

But Jyn couldn’t bring herself to care. It did seem a little strange to have been spared the last time only to probably be destroyed this time, barely a week later. But either way, it was the end to her life she now knew to be her fate, or whatever. It just felt right. It just was. Not the Death Star specifically, but,

Jyn Erso would die in Cassian Andor’s arms.

Whether it should’ve been on Scarif. Or it was here on Yavin 4. Or the next day. Or thousands of days in the future.

And there was a sort of peace in knowing that. One that allowed her to climb into his bed, slide her arms around him, and bury her face in his shoulder. He stirred and her heart skipped a beat. It was easier when he was unconscious, to consider how she felt about him, how she’d been attracted to men before, even had something akin to a relationship with one or two, but it had never felt like this.

“Jyn…?”

“Yes, it’s me. We’re on the base on Yavin 4. Safe. In your quarters.” It was easier to preempt any confusion or alarm Cassian experienced when he woke from his heavy, partially drugged, mostly just exhausted from his body’s healing, sleep.

“How long?” he asked, then realized there were static-laden voices broadcasting over the basewide intercom. “What’s going on?”

“You’ve been asleep for 12 hours,” Jyn said, moving closer and partially on top of him to prevent him from trying to get up in a rush and falling flat on his face. Also, she was admittedly afraid on some level, afraid to be alone and facing death. When he was near her, when they were physically entwined in some way, she felt like everything would be okay. Even if she died, if it was in Cassian’s arms, then everything would be okay. Irrational, yes. But that didn’t make it any less her truth.

“The Death Star is here,” she said, once she could tell he was awake enough to understand, not muddled by pain meds. “The Alliance is scrambling their forces to engage. They’re leaving the comms open, since you know…”

“We’re all dead if they fail.”

His arms wrapped around her and engulfed her in his warm embrace. Cassian Andor, a man who, she didn’t think she was wrong to guess, hadn’t received much at all in the way of affection in his life, somehow was so good at holding a person he made the pain of the universe go away, made the entire universe fade away except for his hands on her body, gentle and undemanding but also firm and reassuring, his breath hot on her neck, sending shivers down her spine, and his body beneath hers, so strong despite his injuries.

“Are you okay?” she asked, remembering the physical state of him.

“Mmm… Yes.” His hands tightened their grip on her side and shoulder, reflexively, a gentle squeeze as he murmured into her neck. “Feels good.”

He probably meant he felt fine, but oh, yes, it did feel good. Or maybe he was still quite medicated?

“My weight isn’t putting pressure on your injuries?” Jyn asked. “Maybe I should…”

“No.” Somehow he managed to pull her further into him, her breasts flattening against his chest, her hip practically fusing to his, her breath hitching momentarily and then joining the rhythm of his own breaths...in and out… in and out… in and out...

Cassian sighed, made a frustrated, growling sound.

“I need to use the ‘fresher,” he said, loosening his grip on her.

Jyn rolled off from him, swung her legs around to sit on the side of the cot and waited to see if Cassian could manage to stand. He slid to sit on the edge of the bed next to her and took a moment. She didn’t press him, though an instinct inside of her wanted to offer assistance, wanted to take care of him, wanted to ease the pain and struggle his recovery was.

He stood, again pausing for a moment, then walked slowly across the small room to his private refresher facilities. Apparently, it was one of very few benefits to his officer’s rank, for the small quarters were nothing more than a glorified closet. But she supposed it spared him from having to sleep in a large barracks with a bunch of others, not that it would’ve deterred Jyn in the least from crawling into his bed.

Part of her felt like she shouldn’t watch his laborious movements, out of respect, but she couldn’t look away. What if he needed her?

Force, what if he didn’t need her? Not like she needed him? Aw, fuck. She needed him.

She watched the muscles in his naked back twitch, stiff from inactivity and injury. But her eyes were inevitably drawn to the perfectly uniform lines of small circular marks running down his spine. She knew there was a matching sort of trail along his ribs. Injections of some sort of bacta cocktail meant to speed the fusing of the fractures in his vertebrae and ribs, injections straight into the bone. How painful would that have been if he’d been conscious, she couldn’t help but wonder, couldn’t help but want to wrap her smaller body around as much of Cassian as she could, run her hands gently over his scars, old and new, make sure his wounds were healing and his bruises fading, hear him sigh contentedly against her skin, hold him forever.

As he disappeared into the ‘fresher, Jyn realized she was hopeless.

Cassian Andor had taught her about hope. And had made her absolutely hopeless at the same time.

But why fret about it? What did it matter?

Jyn was used to dealing with life moment by moment, day by day. And she might not have many more moments, anyway.

The loud, static-laden voices crackling over the basewide intercom announced the launch of yet another squadron of fighters, then abruptly switched over to some ship’s communication officer announcing visual confirmation of the target. The Death Star.

Looming on the horizon like a moon, a harbinger of death, bringer of eternal night. Cold, austere, which made it somehow more terrifying, somehow worse than staring down an angry brute about to put a knife in you. It was just so inevitable, indomitable. Made her feel so small, insignificant, so alone.

“Do you mind if I turn this off?”

Jyn startled. How had she not noticed Cassian reappear in the small room? He pointed at the comm, which was broadcasting the prelims of a battle to determine all their fates.

She didn’t want to listen to it either.

“Please do,” she said, already feeling less… alone.

She watched Cassian lean over to switch the speaker off, wincing in sympathy with him as he straightened again, taking a deep breath that expanded his chest and shifted the muscles beneath his skin, mesmerizing her more than a little. His mostly naked body preoccupied far too many of her thoughts.

But what else had she been supposed to do? She’d woken up drenched in sweat that first night in his quarters, had to strip out of the heavy infirmary clothes, found Cassian tossing in his sleep, nearly feverish, removed the sweltering clothes from his body, as well. Little did she know, how enthralling she’d find his lean muscles, the shape of his body, the feel of his bare skin, his-

His hands cupped her face and Jyn looked up at Cassian Andor, his kriffing gorgeous dark eyes fixed on her. His fingers swept some stray hair from her forehead, tucked it behind her ear, returned to swipe gently over the nearly-healed scar above her eyebrow, in her hairline.

“Are you okay?” A knot formed in her throat. Cassian was a good man, despite every questionable thing he’d done and tortured himself over. Of course he would care about her wellbeing. It didn’t mean-

“Ow!”

“Your blaster wound still hurts?” His fingers feathered over her shoulder, not touching the freshly healed injury this time.

“It does when you jab your finger in it.” She grabbed his wrist and tugged his hand away, throwing him off balance so that he fell into her and she managed to catch him and ease him onto the bed, right where she wanted him.

A chuckle escaped him and he smiled, making something flutter inside of her. And then he was reaching for her, pulling her close.

His embrace was everything she’d never known she’d wanted. His hands stroked her back and he buried his face in her neck, nuzzling a sensitive spot just behind and below her ear.

She sighed, wrapping an arm around his middle and burying the fingers of her other hand in his messy, soft hair. She pressed gently as she massaged his scalp down to his nape, eliciting a hum of pleasure from him that vibrated against her bare skin and into her flesh.

If this was to be her last moment, Jyn held no regrets. It was a good moment.

“Jyn?” His voice had a lethargic but happy edge to it, thick and low and sleepy. She could sympathize.

“Yes?” She twisted her finger in a lock of hair curling about his neck.

“Please don’t let me sleep so long this time.” His whisper tickled her ear. “No more than 10 hours. Okay? Please?”

He wanted her to wake him up in 10 hours… Like there wasn’t a battle raging in space nearby… Like he didn’t believe they were quite probably going to die soon, incinerated by a weapon her own father helped design. Like he didn’t believe they were going to lose, after all. Somehow, he believed they would be there, together, ten hours from this moment.

Hope.

Such a man as Cassian… The most unexpected thing she’d discovered about him was his belief in hope. That he possessed any at all after all he had done, all he had seen. And then he’d given it to her.

And again, it warmed her, deep inside, that small seed of hope. She snuggled closer to the man, hoping for something she couldn’t even begin to conceive of. But yearned for it, with every fiber of her being.