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#its not that idk how to socialize. i just dont like it. i know how but i will never understand what it means to be human
dailyloopdeloop · 21 days
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DAY 71: shy
#codacheetah#isat#loop isat#isabeau isat#isat spoilers#i'll never get over loop being described as 'shy'. what a wonderful image#top one casual remarks from isabeau that cleaves loop's facade#like loop's personality is just a targeted missile to piss siffrin off. they're not at all confident and snarky#they're doing like the physical manifestation of winning an argument against yourself in the shower#second they see the party though Oopsies we're in scary territory. That's your family and they dont know it's you Oops#ok anyways ever since i saw that post i was like damn. this is just how i view loop in party postcanon#for as much as I think they SHOULD go explore around and be their own person for a while i think realistically they would not do that.#theyre going to go be a weird freak hovering around the party and refusing to socialize with anyone but siffrin and theyre gonna feel awful#(read: they're going to antagonize siffrin and it fails tremendously bc now The Rumor Come Out and siffrin knows what loop is doing.)#like loop as much as they can barely stand to even look at isabeau (for instance) i think their claws are sunk far too deep in.#onehats maybe the circumstances are different because there is a gap in understanding. there's no point forcing siffrin to confront the#obvious conclusion that loop is them (and thus siffrin's happy ending nails loop's coffin)#(THIS IS IGNORING TWOHATS PREREQS GOTTEN ONEHATS. BC THATS ITS OWN CAN OF WORMS)#but twohats. idk. for as much as it lets loop release some of their rage and process their feelings a bit. i think it might also be the pus#that makes loop consider their own existence as a person a bit more. theyre not a sponsor->corpse theyre just loop#theyre just somebody who wants desperately. they want to stay with them#theyre still siffrin. if also loop.#i think loop would force themself to reconnect with the party in the same vein as siffrin forcing himself to communicate more.#but of course having conviction and living an experience are not the same thing. so siffrin's going to flounder the emotional honesty thing#tremendously and loop's going to be. blair witching it in the corner.#hey i might have forgotten which post i was writing the tags under. oopsies#idk if these tags are comprehensible at all. i just really want to see loop fail upwards into friendship with everyone
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solarpunkani · 1 year
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"Oh no, someone's attracted to the aesthetics of my -punk movement but doesn't know the praxis and history behind it like I do--"
OK. Tell them. Make it a teaching moment. Everyone who's in your movement learned the background from somewhere at some point, maybe this is that point for that person. Give them a jumping off point that they can dive into later.
"Oh but I shouldn't be responsible for teaching baby -punks about the history and the how-tos and--"
OK. Then don't tell them. You don't have to be responsible for teaching people with a budding interest in your group the ins and outs and how-tos. That's fair and valid! It can be a lot of work. Someone else will handle it
"But I'm annoyed that they would try to claim to be part of/be interested in my community without knowing all the details that I know after being in it for months/years/decades, they're dumb, they're posers, they're--"
OK. Then don't engage with them, if it's that bad. Maybe someone else will come around and tell them the history, maybe they'll pick it up on their own, maybe they'll just enjoy the fashion elements for awhile.
"But they shouldn't claim to be part of the -punk community if they don't know the--"
I feel like we have a few options here. People can either talk to them, share the history, share the values, share the praxis. Or they can just chase off anyone who even thinks about dipping a toe in their community, and then wonder why it's dying off later down the line.
I dunno, maybe I'm too naive and patient or whatever. But if people are entering your -punk spaces without knowing The Rundown of what you feel they need to know, maybe being nice about it and informing people instead of immediately assuming stupidity and malicious intent could help you make a new friend. Even the loudest voices in a space had to learn from somewhere, and not everyone has the luxury of being in the space as the History was Happening--whether it's an age thing or a not being aware of the space thing. Or maybe I just don't see what the big deal is behind people hating people who like the aesthetic of something and don't know the behind the scenes history about it yet.
Because I believe in the word 'yet.' No one comes into this world knowing everything about everything, and we're all constantly learning new things. I'm not gonna degrade someone and call them a poser for not knowing what I know. Because if it were me, interested in a scene but getting chased out and called a poser? I wouldn't hit the books and study up, I'd go 'that fuckin sucks, those people sucked' and then avoid anyone and anything having to do with it.
So chase people off and call them posers if you want. But if your community starts dwindling, don't be fucking shocked.
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cryptid-moose · 6 months
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Some Shawn doodles feat. Gus
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koko2unite · 7 months
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puppyeared · 1 month
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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townslore · 2 years
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i dont play genshin nor will i ever ( i dont like the company of which's name i cant even spell ) but i drew this for my brother because im just so nice so i thought. might as well post it
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vse-kar-vem · 4 months
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weekly breakdown post 😁 none of you hate me right !
#feeling a bit down ☹️ idk i just feel like#am i not social enough am i just annoying ☹️ i dont post a lot so idk what people follow me for but if i post too much am i being annoying ?#oueagh#vee rambles#like i know everyone has their own niches whatever but i don't know how you just establish connections with people so easily 💔💔#am i brushjng people off without knowing ???? am i just prickly??????#also as a conversationalist i know i dont have much to offer ☹️☹️ im not very funny or capable of very clever adult insights#so really im just kinda there 😞 and like i HAVE real life friends i HAVE a social circle theres no need to base my fulfilment socially on#online interactions 😭#idk maybe its because its harder or its something i feel i cant get that makes it such like a thing that bothers me#like 7 times out of 10 if im sadposting because of that#and its really embarrassing to say that the reason all these like moments of insecurity happen is because my mutuals. have friends#NOTHING AGAINST ANYONE OBVS THIS IS 100% A ME PROBLEM AND NOT EVERY INTERACTION SENDS ME INTO A TAILSPIN ITS JUST SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS#i thjnk it says something about me idk i dont like to think of myself as very jealous but i am i just dont like dwelling on it#trying to figure out if what makes me upset is other people not liking me or my own personal inadequacies#anyways if anyones reading this pretend they didnt i will be over this tomorrow i just#ugh 🥹🥹🥹#i wish i could wake up funnier#or smarter#maybe better at art#🙏 god bless#IVE FIGURED IT OUT#being in such a tight knit fandom reminds me of being in 8th grade again 🥹 not to tragic backstory everyone but like i had no friends#i think it kind of dredges up that kinda loneliness and insecurity in me#wow i should be a psychologist#anyways i still love fandom im not gonna stop it just. sigh. gets to me sometimes
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nerdie-faerie · 6 months
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Currently thinking about the last time I met up with my college friends, and we went around the table reintroducing ourselves with names and pronouns, cus it gets like that. And every time it would come around to me, I would deflect and distract instead of answering because I hadn't actually figured it out yet. It's coming up on a year since then, I still have no idea what the answer would be
#Queer gang#it was literally this time last year cus it was the last time i went home for winter break that i saw them all#i panicked and got distracted the first time i was supposed to introduce myself despite the fact theyre the last people who would judge#but were a bunch of very easily distracted fckers so it wasnt even that noticeable that i hadnt answered at first#but then one of them realised id never actually introduced myself and i cant even remember how i changed the topic#but someone would always realise in the middle of someones story so id just redirect the attention to what we were already discussing#to buy myself time to think but i never actually came up with an answer and im stuck on a coach rn so my brain has all this time to think#and im just. its been a year since that incident its been several years since i started to think maybe my gender didnt entirely fit#but every time i try to figure it out like a puzzle like i did with my sexuality the first time i realise i dont really have an answer#its not that i feel that something else would fit better and i cant figure out why it doesnt feel right in the first place#is it because i was raised hyperfeminine despite growing up predominantly around brothers?#is it because tradition gender roles dont fit anyway when yoyre queer because so much of gender is tangled up in sexuality?#is it because im taking too much of a theoretical/whatever approach to it when i know gender is predominantly a social construct?#is it because its just not that deep and i dont care? or do i care and i just havent figured it out yet? idk
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ozymoron · 4 months
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reading posts that come across my dash and sitting for a minute to debate with my mental disorder if not reblogging this will mean a hell portal will open beneath my feet and i will suffer for eternity for my lack of action or if its all good and i can just scroll on by (its usually the hell portal thing)
#⚠️#personal#having ocd makes making moral decisions so fucking hard for no reason#cause ill see a post thats like info or seems important and like i can tell its that kind of post just by skimming it st first and somethin#clicks in my brain that just tells me if i dont share that post everyone will know and think im a horrible person#regardless of what the actual post is about#i need like a handbook on how to make proper moral decisions#cause like yeah i do care about things i try to share stuff about things i care about and believe are important but sometimes i dont have#the energy to read long as posts and my brain twists it to make it out that people will know and i am the bad guy#idk my ocds telling me even saying this makes me a bad person#the fact i even struggle with this#sometimes i think im not built for social media but really i think social medias not built for people like me#maybe i should get help for my ocd but the idea of describing all the shit going on in my brain to someone just makes me feel scared#cause like i dont know when to draw the line at making something a problem i should actively have a hand in helping#how much is too much when do i stop#<- in regards to my own mental health like the mental exhaustion that can come from it i hope this makes sense#like some things you gotta invest like emotional shit into and like sometimes im just tired and i come on here and im faced with one of#those posts and i just have to debate with myself what the fuck im supposed to do#this is more a me issue than anything i need to sort this shit out with some mental health professional or something#cause like i dont want to have people think i dont care about these things i do and ik pressing reblog takes like no energy but idk man#im not even sure if some of the shit i reblog is cause i care or is just an ocd compulsion#i feel like most times its both#i cant help but think im the problem here i want to be on social media its just so draining having my mind repeatedly hound me for not like#showing enough care (reblogging more posts) about a certain issue online#idk im so tired of it all im so tired of my mind i wish i didnt have ocd#vent#so funny right after i posted this i scrolled down and one of these posts was rigjt beneath it and the debate happens all over again#lord i need to get out of here
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sparrowposting · 8 months
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This is hell I'm in hell I am going to chew through my jaw in stress
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whiskeyswifty · 9 months
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#this is such a niche gripe i guess idk its why it's in the tags#but i really get so annoyed by how a lot of this fandom acts like they know everything about her especially like where she goes#and what she does in her free time because they think they KNOW about everything but#all you know is what she chooses to show you like specifically paps like...... she calls them. all celebs do. 99.999999% of the time#these days it's how that industry works which i KNOW for a fact but like don't take my word for it if you don't believe me fine#but it's how it is and i can tell you that from professional experience but also like#the amount of friends and people i know who've seen her places all over the city for YEARS now#and there are no pap photos of her in those places nor did anyone know she went to that building/restaurant/bar/event#there are a feeeeeew places in the city which are celeb hotspots and the paps might skulk around there but that's cuz#they are known spots for that and waiters and staff tip them off for profit shares#like i know someone who saw her literally last night at a restaurant#there are no photos of her there and no paps outside#like if you think she doesn't leave the house or go somewhere without you knowing cuz you think she's papped everywhere...#thats just simply not true lol couldn't be FURTHER from true#she goes so many places and does so many things that you just don't know about. it's VERY easy to live a private life in the city#EVEN THIS WEEK she's gone more places than you've seen her getting papped at cuz i know people who've seen her!#i can't tell you the amount of famous people i've come across in these situations and the press and social media were none the wiser#people i've sat next to at a crowded brunch counter or people walking their dog or taking their kid for a bike ride like.... ALL THE TIME#famous people love new york cuz new yorkers don't bother them and they can live in relative obscurity#idk what i'm getting at i guess this weirdness like I AM GONNA SHUT DOWN ANYTHING THAT I DONT HAVE PROOF OF#is so deranged to me because...... you only have ~proof~ of like 10% of her life#so the other 90% of it didn't happen cuz.... you a blogger on the internet don't have photographic evidence of it????#IS THAT NOT THE MOST INSANE THING TO SAY????#idk really weird that people just think they know her and shut down any one who poses something that doesn't fit into their#frankensteined version of her that they made out of a bunch of paparazzi photos and flight trackers and deuxmoi posts taped together#as if THATS somehow MORE sane and a more realized person#idk if i'm making sense i'm annoyed whatever whatEVERRRRR
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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year
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I don't understand why it's generally not socially acceptable to recognize your good qualities. Like I don't understand why it's bad to be a show-off or a know-it-all or to brag. Like I think most people know "those things = bad" but not why.
It also seems like people are always either waaaaay into one end of the scale where they are just so unbearably full of themselves and have preposterously high self esteem (and most people act like this is fine too? Like a lot of celebrities and white men specifically seem to be like this) and I don't understand why so many people respect them then. Or they're the complete opposite with self esteem way too low despite the fact that they have redeeming qualities.
I feel like maybe the reason it's considered bad to brag is because you might 'make' other people feel inadequate but see that seems like a stupid reason to me because the problem then is not that you stated an opinion of your own self worth but is actually that everyone else is conditioned to compare themselves to each other in a very unhealthy way. And I think instead of discouraging people from opening up about what they take pride in, what they like about themselves, what makes them feel happy or content or confident, maybe we could just be discouraging people from viewing those things as personal threats? Idk just trying to formulate some thoughts on this
#idk why but this feels like a very convoluted topic#like so many people are probably coming from different starting positions on this than i am and im afraid that might#make it be misinterpreted or something#like i feel like there definitely is a balance where some self esteem is too little and some is too much#it just feels like it is exceedingly rare to find anyone with ideal realistic self esteem and idk why#i also dont mean this in a way to say that every action is the responsibility of the people taking offense either#because obviously thats not how that works. its understandable to demand a certain amount of respect#and to accept that your words (even the ones you say about yourself) could negatively impact other people#and thats not necessarily on them for being defensive#idk social concepts are strange and foreign to me so im still figuring this stuff out and through an autistic lense to boot#so sometimes i feel a bit like im conducting a study or an experiment more than writing a blog post#im just trying to understand people because i need to#it seems like the overwhelming majority of allistics have absolutely no interest in why they do the things that they do#so i have to go around experimenting instead of asking direct questions about this stuff#because when i do ask direct questions they look at me like i just asked them if the sky is actually blue or if its just gasses up there#in case you are not the most common dimwit. the sky is both of those things. however when you ask someone a question#phrased like that about a topic they dont want to admit they dont know about. they will usually avoid the question or answer absurdly#its actually kinda funny you should try it sometime#now im distracted because i dont know enough about how the sky works and i need to know#anyways gonna go down a research rabbit hole methinks
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oscill4te · 7 months
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"ethical killing" sounds like an oxymoron to me idk why
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coelacat · 2 months
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the three ways to make me INSTANTLY dislike you:
unironically call an animal (or any living thing rly) "useless" because if it exists there is inherently use for it. thats how evolution works dumbass
"art is dead"/"theres no good art anymore"/i dislike modern art"/"i could paint/write/sculpt that"/any variation of some bullshit about how any sort of art is lesser than another
"i think anyone who believes in religion is stupid and should be embarrassed" and im especially deadass about this one. it puts you in such a bad mindset its not even funny. you can hate bigots all you want and the way bigotry may intersect with religion is always an interesting study but. genuinely. if you hate religion AS A WHOLE for just. like. being a reflection of a population. i think you seriously need to get your head checked.
#i think the religion one is probably the most controversial but it really shouldnt be#the universe is scary#it can be so scary to think about how everything is just a dice roll. youre only here because of random chance.#no shit people dont wanna think about that#its grim!#its much more comforting to have a higher power who put you here with a purpose than to just be some ape that became bipedal#and evolved a big brain from there#and now we're doing taxes n shit#like!! i get why some people would be freaked out about that and would hate thinking about it#not to mention religion has a giant history and its always been more than just believing in higher powers#religion can be a large group of peoples history#i really love looking into and learning about judaism for this reason#religion is so interwoven with history and tradition and folk tales have been a driving force of human socialization for forever#another thing is that i think a lot of people forget that religious people are. p. people. even if its a religion you hate for good reason#im not gonna defend mormonism. lol. but people tend to forget that the mormon church wants you to be an asshole to mormons#thats kinda how the whole thing operates? creating a fear of the unknown and outsiders?#same as any cult#sorry for all of this i just saw a really awful post#idk. is it that hard to just be nice to people and not assume everyone around you is an idiot#because thats gonna make you hate people and then make you lonely#id know because ive been there#if dnis worked i think these three things would be the only things on it#theyre the people i dont wanna engage with the most. mostly because theyre annoying
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toxifoxx · 22 days
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hrmmmm
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marklikely · 9 months
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watching movies w the Boys during social time and so far they really like the reanimator green goo and nothing else
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